#its a miracle im still able to live here

[lana-llama-in-pajamas]

thick as blood

sweet as milk

pt.3

you woke up sore and oddly over heated, you opened your eyes to see something a 12 year old boy would dream up both the twins cuddled up to you arms hugging you close, you looked down to see you were in a nightgown and they were in slips they possibly wore under their dresses from last night. Els leg was wrapped in cellophane probably fearful of the wound bleeding through you smiled softly looking up at your ceiling hearing their breathing synced together, the smell of their French perfumes with the combination of sweat was actually pretty calming (damn twins are in your bed even before Francis 💀)

you closed your eyes again wanting to catch a bit more rest before getting up for the day, what felt like minutes was actually an hour. you woke up again with the twins gone, you got up rubbing your eyes walking out to the living room hearing talking "you think she's even eaten a meal a day?" a deeper feminine voice asked it wasn't the twins " I don't think you could call bread and jam a meal" another voice said, you peeked in the kitchen to see the twins, mia and gloria all in the kitchen. gloria cooking on the stove as mia and sel unpacked groceries putting them in the proper places, elenois sat at the window mixing something in a bowl. you felt so cared for, your pain from your injuries disappearing for a second, you got caught by mia who walked over with selenne "your awake! so sorry we let ourselves in dear" mia hugged you gently before selenne wrapped her arm around your shoulders "you should go shower we're making brunch" you nodded "no worries miss stone but please send me the receipt for the food" you spoke softly realizing your voice was still strained "oh don't insult me y/n I'm not hurting for money, now go get cleaned up I'm gonna make some tea" she pushed you to the bathroom making selenne giggle walking back to the kitchen

you did strip yourself of your slip and bandages examining yourself in the mirror, bruises kissed your body with indents of the stairs in your back. the memory of the creatures claws ran across your legs with your ankle matching Elenois, it was lightly scarred so you washed yourself gently hissing anytime you had to bend down. you left the shower walking back to your room to change, the girls brought out the table into the living room filling it foods and spare plates, you changed into something less formal putting on some music to lighten your mood

everyone gathered in the livingroom, sitting and passing plates as gloria sat near you looking over your vinyls ¨you do got some bad bruises baby¨ she gently grabbed your arm looking it over, you hissed a little making her let go ¨sorry baby¨ she handed the first loaded plate to you ¨come sit and eat, we know damn well you havent had a vegtable since you came in¨ you smiled thanking the sweet woman trying your best to be polite while eating but she was right you were starving, honestly its a miracle you were able to fight the equivelent of a animal on bread, fruit jam and milk alone. everyone ate and talked as gloria filled your plate to replace what you had ate whispering ¨your in your home, eat with the hunger you have¨ hearing that had you eating mouthfuls only listening to the conversation instead ¨natcha and her little one wouldve come but natcha didnt want her to overwhelm you with questions¨ mia said to you ¨she got you and the twins flowers though¨ you nodded finishing your 2nd plate ¨ill need to send her a thank you note soon¨ everyone nodded in agreement as a knock was heard at the door, you got up wiping your mouth opening it slowly to show most of the men ¨honey i thought you were at work¨ gloria asked as everyone walked over ¨i was but im on lunch, here you go miss l/n your one courageous little lady¨ arnold passed you a small bouquet and kissed his wife good bye then one after another your other neighbors gave you gifts of gratitude, even lois margeret and raftellyn came in with food n flowers low key inviting themselves in.

at the very end natasha came and held up a tin tray to you ¨my mom is at work but she made this for you or whatever¨ you smiled taking the tray and placing on on the table with everything else ¨your mom does so much tell her thank you for me¨ you bent down to talk with her ¨....yeah ok.....did it bite you? are you infected with something? my mom said you saved us and killed it or whatever, does that mean your a murderer or a monster killer?¨ she kept asking things making your head swim but luckily you had a savior ¨she's a monster killer. a hero little Natasha.¨ Francis said sternly also holding a gift in his hands ¨oooh ok....whatever bye hero lady¨ she said waving and walking out ¨here Natasha take a plate¨ mia walked over leading her back to her door ¨uh....um thank you ¨ you looked up blushing ¨for?¨ he asked putting down the basket of fruit and wine bottle in his hands ¨err...uh everything, carrying me, bringing me this¨ you gestured to the basket ¨telling the little one I'm a hero..¨ you looked down intimidated by his hard gaze ¨those gifts are from the DDD. I didn't get the memo we were making your apartment a floral shop.¨ it almost sounded like a joke but he said it so blankly with irritation ¨oh well would you like a pla-¨ ¨you didn't get her something?¨ Margarette said loudly ¨for shame young man she pulled a gun out what could you pull? a bottle of milk?¨ she laughed as the others giggled uncomfortably ¨like I said I didn't get the memo. but I will show my gratitude¨ you turned beet red wondering what he meant by this, the twins felt your forehead ¨you should sit, Francis please help yourself¨ they brought you back to the couch as Francis followed Lois made him a plate and sat right by him ¨aside from this loud mouth, I didn't know you had those types of muscles Francis" god you were uncomfy now "i carry crates of milk i think its self explanatory" he shot back making Lois flustered by the full stop, at this point you weren't sure if Natasha was his, it seems like he doesn't have a filter...or feelings.

soon the awkward feelings subsided and everyone talked about their jobs, marriage and mia's and the dr's wedding plans.

you were in the kitchen looking over your gifts, mostly flowers and chocolate but it seems the Dr. got you a jewelry set, and so did the cappuccin's. the flowers came with cards you read and stacked together, one stuck out to you .

the fruits basket and wine.

it was champagne and fancy fruits (just to set the scene mangos and kiwis were considered 'exotic' in this era) you read the card

dear y/n you did well, enjoy your week off. another agent will take your place so don't let your guard down completely but do relax. rex

you smiled grabbing 2 vases of flowers wondering where to put them. Francis put his plate in the sink staring at you as he leaned against it "...you know who also hasn't gifted you anything....Gauss" he spoke lowly, was he...talking gossip? "why do you think?" you entertained him preening one of the flowers "he feels emasculated. since he isn't the American hero he's pissed" he chuckled making you shiver a little, it made sense though gauss seemed the macho type but that didn't matter , it was the way he said 'American hero' it was very accented "are you not emasculated by me Francis?" you asked walking closer to him even if your knees started to feel like jelly with every step "not at all, i was raised by strong women." he looked down at your level as you could breath in his cologne, strong sweet and alcohol like. " Francis i wonder a lot of things about you" you spoke truthfully like his eyes pulled it out of you "i am a book y/n, you just have to open it and read" his face was so close to yours.

you were swooning, eyes fluttering as you could almost imagine his lips on yours. his cologne was like a drug putting you under, you were in a full day dream before hearing another dark quiet laugh "how unbecoming of you...you know so little about me and yet your ready to throw yourself at me" he held up your chin with his hand as if you were a dog.

he walked away excusing himself to everyone before walking out

you shuddered taking a deep breath hoping to smell him one last time "he teased me....the bastard teased me and left."

im sorrry it tookk so looooongg!!! but here it is my loves enjoy!!! let me know if you like or hate (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

#milkman x reader #thats not my neighbour milkman #thats not my neighbor #francis mosses #francis mosses x reader #francis mosses x you

[starlettechild]

⊱𝓛𝓾𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓟𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓼⊰

* ೃ༄

CONTENT: SMUT! MDNI & 18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT! After the defeat of the elder brain, Tav begins to need some extra protection. There is one oathbreaker more than happy to take the position. ( noble x knight dynamics )

⚠️TWs:⚠️ : Implied feminine reader, but they/them pronouns are still used. AFAB anatomy, sexual/explicit content. Zevlor is kind of in heat. ACT 3 SPOILERS!!

NOTES: im sooooo normal about zevlor im soooososososos normal

its good to be back everyone! hopefully ill be able to post more of my writing! feels so nice to be doing this again

Throughout the entirety of Zevlor’s life, he has known battle. The taste of iron and ash in his mouth as he pushes and pushes forward. A relentless march forward towards death. It was the life of a Hellrider. But Tav - to him, they were a light in his darkness. A gentle hand that cleaned the blood of his face and armor. He thought his life was destined to be full of fighting - blood always following his every steps. But never had he imagined someone would fight for him, fight with him, and win. The defeat of the Elder Brain brought a shuddering peace to the city. The destruction in its wake was evident, some damage unrepairable. Yet each rise and fall of the sun over Baldur’s Gate, Zevlor could see the city come back to life. His people began to repair themselves and set out for more.

Yet he couldn’t. Leaving Tav, this person who was his own personal religion, the fuel of an imaginary oath. Their favor was like a divine blessing that coursed through his infernal veins, carried him through battle with ferocity. Fueled by the desire to see them again. So when the offer came up to serve as their own personal knight in the new (deserving) luxurious life they lived, he could not refuse. Tav had companions scattered across the planes, but they wanted to fix the city. An intimidating force in the court that was slowly being reformed and revived, a respected hero in every street, and a survivor of the impossible. Who wouldn’t want someone like that to help lead this city to a new era? But of course, this called for extra hands and extra bodies to help assist their cause, and who was better than the old Hellrider who lived and breathed to protect those he loved?

The miracles of them are racing through his head as he stands in-front of the large oak door to their room. The armor he wears- commissioned and crafted by Dammon just for him by Tav - shifts with each of his nervous movements. It’s been quite some time, and he still hasn’t adjusted to being in such a persons presence. A sharp inhale through his nose, and he knocks against the door. Wincing at the loudness of the sound his gauntlet makes against it, an unheard apology falling from his lips. He stands there and awaits permission to answer, his anxiety increasing as each second ticks by and there is no response.

“Tav? I hope you don’t mind, but I’m coming in.” The door opens slowly, and his eyes rake over the place for signs of distress. His heart beats rapidly in his chest.. but suddenly, it slows, when the scent of lavender and cashmere hit his senses, the door to their washroom slightly creaked open. A sigh of relief escapes him, quickly replaced by panic when he realizes he has no place in this room as they wash. He’s about to make a quick escape, before he hears their voice. It dances along his spine. He can wear the most finely crafted armor, but that voice will still put him to his knees.

“Zevlor?”

Their voice calls to him, bouncing off the walls of the washroom. “I am.. so sorry, Tav. I thought something had - had happened. I’ll leave right away, and I’ll even understand if you no longer want me to serve-” He’s about to keep rambling on to them, but their laughter cuts him off, and Gods does it make him want to go to war just to hear it again and again and again.

“Actually, could you help me with something in here?” He feels like he can’t breathe. Maybe this armor is suffocating him..? He’s getting too old to walk around in such things. Or is the thought of being so close to Tav in a washroom that’s suffocating him? But his feet are betraying him, moving forward before the “Of course.” is muttered. His hand shakes as he slowly opens the door, shutting his eyes out of decency. Though it takes every ounce of his will power to do so.

Tav sits in the bath, their bare back glistens with water, steam swirling around their form. Zevlor, ever the romantic, thinks they look like a Siren poking their upper body from the waves. And he is the enchanted sailor. They turn their head to the side to glance at them, and Zevlor wants to sculpt their side profile like they are his muse. Perhaps they are. Perhaps they will be.

“I can’t but this balm on my back myself, could you lend a hand, Commander?” Zevlors heart skips a beat behind his armor at the old title. He worries if he shakes anymore out of desire, his armor will rattle and disturb the Master of this house he now serves like a sworn in knight. He can only give a nod to them, removing the heavy gauntlets. He gives a frown to his hands, his claws. He feels like a cursed creature reaching out for the Divine. But can one even as vigilant as himself resist, when they beckon to him so sweetly? Call to him when he has dreamt of it night after night?

He covers his fingers in the flick balm, rubbing it on their back. It’s going to be the death of him. Touching them like this. He feels he may pass away, when they arch their back into his touch. Letting out a pleased sigh. He wishes he was some sort of wizard, so he could some how save the noise. Listen to it again, and again, and again. His racing thoughts are cut through when he hears them speak to him.

“Zevlor, can I be very honest with you?” He can see their expression. Weariness. Expecting something.. something sad. “Always.” He manages through gritted teeth, biting back the words “let me go first. I want you in a way I haven’t wanted anyone before.”

“There was another reason I wanted you to work with me. I’ve always.. admired you. In a way more than appropriate between noble and knight. Adventurer and Commander.” They glance down into the water, fingers wafting through the milky bath water.

Zevlor has died. He thinks he has. This must be The Heavens. Something good he doesn’t deserve. But they said they were honest, and the pain in his chest from how fast his infernal heart beats is grounding. There’s no pain in heaven. He must be alive. This must be real. There is no way he can communicate this to them in words, so gently he takes his hand, settling behind them, tilting their face up to his. Staring into their eyes, asking if this is okay. Saying that if he is to kiss them here and now, he may never be able to stop. And their own eyes respond in kind, saying to him, “never stop.”

Then he kisses them, and Gods, does it drive him wild. As if their lips were coated in a strong aphrodisiac. Sweet and soft. His eyes flutter shut, hands finding their bare waist. They kiss him back, and he feels special, knowing that they want this just as much as he does. But still, he pulls away, asking them, “Are you sure?”

“I have never been more sure of anything.”

And then he is kissing them again. His own chest vibrates with something similar to a primal growl, weaving his hands and their still wet hair and pulling the impossibly closer, memorizing the shape and taste of their lips. Perhaps it is the forbidden topic of a certain tiefling cycle, but Zevlor can feel his composure slipping, his neediness below his waistband growing impossibly harder. It may be so just by kissing them after such a long time serving them as their knight, lusting for them during long nights, is enough to send him into an early rut. They can feel it too - breaking the kiss, their leg gently positioned in between his legs and pressing against him, his head falls back against. The old paladin is already puddy in their hands, heavy breaths and low moans spilling from his lips with every movement they make. Their knee brushing over his member over and over through his pants is enough for him to lean in, nuzzling the crevice of their neck and try to manage words between heavy inhales and choked moans.

“I won’t last. Please.” He confesses. He’s finished to the thought alone with his own hand. The real thing is almost too much for him. An overwhelming pleasure being served to him in the steamy washroom of their mansion. He crumbles in the hands of the one is sword and new oath belongs to. And this, he thinks, is what it must feel like to have a true Gods favor.

Yet Tav seems to be a merciless God this evening, replacing their leg with their hand. He jerks upright, his tail swishing back and forth. The rut brewing in him snaps like a string, and with arms strong enough, he lifts them onto his lap instead. A light aired gasp leaves their lips, and he wants to drink the sound. His hips grind up into their own member, and their back arches, letting out music of their own.

It makes Zevlor feral.

“I need you. Now. Please.” He swallows heavily, closing his eyes as if praying. His jaw tightening with the pounding feeling of lust, banging on the walls of his mind and lighting his body on fire. All for them. It is all for them. Their naked body is a sight to behold when be opens his eyes, truly taking in the art before him. Slick skin, glossy and fragrant with the smell of a floral bath mixture. Divine. Truly, divine. His mouth moves up to their neck, kisses trailing down, drinking their skin. His teeth graze along their sensitive flesh, aching to bite and mark upon his lord/lady/sovereign. His cock twitching every-time he feels them tremble against him, their slick thighs right where he wants them.

May his sovereign never lift a finger - his own hand moving to undo the waistband of his pants, sliding them off and away. Their eyes take him in, sitting on the edge of the pool-like baths marble. His eyes take them in back, questioning if they are ready for him. It’s almost pitiful, they think. His erection looks almost painful, throbbing and stiff against his ridged chest. But Tav has practiced with their fingers to thoughts of riding their knight, so they take a steady inhale, and sink down onto his cock.

Zevlor bows his head, hands shooting to their waist, letting out a shaky sound of bliss. They feel his pants against their collarbone, before they feel something a little more intense. Teeth sinking onto their skin, biting. Claiming. His desperation drives them wild, and he can tell, taking a hiss of air in when they clench around him.

The commander, in his most feral state, still values them having the ropes and steering the wheel. He stays still, even though he wants to thrust up into them like an animal - he resists the urge. Letting them set the pace. After all, he is their knight.

Slowly, with moans of their own, does their body work up and down his shaft, hips rising and falling. And fuck is Zevlor done for. Their heaven is nothing he could imagine. The intensity they make him feel could almost send him to tears. His hands tighten on their waist. A reminder of what he once was. That the man they now ride was a Commander.

Tav flutters against him, letting out the sweetest sounds. Like a siren, he is mesmerized. So he jerks his hips up to match their movements, and their hands claw down his back, his name leaving their lips. He loves it. So he does it again, and again, and again, tell the pleasure he brings them is enough for them both to already by near their climax.

“Hells. I’m close.. Gods.” He rasps out, feeling the heat inside him become too much. “Finish with me, Zevlor.” Such a demand drives him to the edge, his movements becoming more erratic. Hitting that spot inside them that’s enough to make them scream. His orgasm washes over him like an electric shock, praising their name as he finishes like a chant. He feels theirs cover his shaft too, and he makes a note for later to make them come undone on his tongue to make up for the wasted nectar.

Their thighs tremble against his, not departing from the intimacy, but instead resting their chest against his still panting chest. Listening to the beat of his heart and the way he tries to catch his breath. Hearing the slightest glimmer of an oath in his body, a surge of power.

To serve and be with them until the world ends, and he is too broken and bloody to stand.

#Spotify #bg3 writing #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 smut #bg3 zevlor #zevlor #zevlor x tav #zevlor smut #zevlor x reader #zevlor x you #bg3 zevlor smut

[sorikkung]

good boy gone bad | 27

bad bitch lessons, a.k.a the "audition"

wc: 4.8k

a/n: my god we're FINALLY BACK after half a years unofficial hiatus because i forgot how to write <3 on god i wrote this chapter 4 times and its not my favourite still but im not writing it a 5th and i like it Enough so i hope yall enjoy it too SDFGKJSFD we should be able to pick up the pace quickly with normal smau chapters soon :) thank you all for waiting!!!

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Having a dozen men all crammed in a one-man studio apartment is about exactly as cramped as it sounds. How you wish you could have had one of those more spacious studio apartments, complete with floor to ceiling windows, a proper kitchen, and a living room. For now, you will have to settle for six men sitting on your bed, Wooyoung sitting on Yeosang's lap at your desk, Chan and Felix standing in the bathroom doorway after washing the dye and bleach out of their hair, and Hongjoong standing ominously in the corner, pouting after realising the “fake” in the “fake punk polycule” included the punk part, and not just the polycule.

You make do.

Describing exactly the kind of character you want them to play is the easy part – cocky, brash, sleazy and obnoxious are the names of the game, and if everyone absorbed your in-depth explanation as much as Seonghwa has been diligently typing it down on his phone, you think this should be a breeze. The next part of the plan is to see them in action and test their wits — in other words, time for them to audition.

By whatever miracle, you are able to explain the auditioning process without tipping off the others to you and Wooyoung’s little deception – he catches your eye during the explanation and gives you a grateful wink – and set up the scene for your improvisation game. These boys need practice, as too much unfamiliarity will be far too apparent on the day, and it’s already going to be a tough sell to prove that you managed to pull twelve boyfriends. You damn well might be in over your head with this one, but you are in too deep to pump the breaks now.

“Basically, I need you all to show me what you can do. Cause if your acting does not cut it, I’m gonna be the laughingstock here and my back-up plan is probably arson.”

Beomgyu snorts from his spot on your bed. “I think arson is a pretty good back-up plan.”

“Pretty good except for the criminal charges, yeah. So, time to partner up! Who’s got the balls to go first?”

Seonghwa blinks a few times, looking at his phone, then looking back up at you in confusion. “Why is your back-up plan arson?”

“I’ll go first!”

Saved by the bell, Yeonjun pipes up just in time to avoid another hasty bluff to throw the aspiring actor off your tail, and you have no idea if he did that on purpose but you don’t look a gift horse in the mouth either way.

“Perfect, who do you wanna do it with? For the first scenario, I’ll play my dad.”

“I can-“ Hyuka speaks up, but you notice Soobin tugging on his sleeve and freezing in alarm at all the eyes on him, and it seems to make Hyuka hesitate as well. There’s an obvious tension there that you can’t quite place the origins of, but judging by the way Wooyoung is excitedly biting his nails, you figure you can pry later. “Um. Uh-“

Yeonjun smiles at them apologetically, then turns back around to you. “Actually, I was hoping you’d be my partner for this.”

He says those words like he intends for them to linger, and you figure after how forward he’s been so far coming onto you that he means it, but you don’t want to throw Felix under the bus like that after he begged you to bring him along so he could shoot his shot with the man, so you try not to indulge him too much.

“Oh.” You try to ignore the way that makes your face heat up. “Sure, okay. Yeosang, you play my dad, act really judgemental and pissy at us.”

Yeosang wrinkles his nose. “I don’t want to be your dad.”

You were hoping he would say that.

“Perfect! You already know your lines. Annnd, action!”

His disgruntled expression is honestly quite fitting for the role you just cast him in, and Wooyoung stands up to instinctively take what you assume is the role of your mother as he leans on the backrest of your desk chair to mutter to him, “I cannot believe him right now. Does he really think crashing the wedding with all his friends will do him any favours? If only he’d just settled down with a nice girl…”

Yeonjun stares the couple down, then takes a confident step towards you; that’s about as far as he gets before he visibly falters. You raise a brow at him.

“That’s your cue, Yeonjun. If they’re talkin shit, it’s time to act up.”

He fidgets with his sleeves, posture shrinking in on himself, and suddenly his striking appearance and features look far less intimidating than they did just a moment ago. “Um. Well. I should first probably uh… ask. How far I’m meant to go with this?”

You get the feeling you know what he’s asking by that, but not being entirely sure, you press. “What do you mean?”

“Like…” he takes another step closer, this time all the way up in your personal space and cages you to the wall with both arms. His stance seems confident, but the look on his face is very pointedly not, a stark juxtaposition to his usual shameless bravado. “Like, how far can I go to cause a scene? Cause if I was really with my boyfriend hearing his parents spout that shit about him, I’d just kiss him on the mouth and see how mad they get.”

“I like how you think.”

“Is that—” Yeonjun wets his lips in anticipation, wide eyes flicking between yours and your lips as he leans in even closer, “—consent?”

It’s honestly quite charming of the effortlessly flirty one to be so concerned with explicit consent even now, so you just take the leap for him and grab the collar of his shirt, closing the distance. The others erupt behind you, hoots and hollers all drowned out by the feeling of Yeonjun’s plush lips on yours and your heart dancing in your chest so wildly you think it could trip and fall out. He seems completely caught off guard, taking a moment to really process what was happening before he’s kissing you back with such a shocking gentleness that when he reaches up to cup your chin with a feather-light touch, you almost feel like you should slow down for him.

Instead, you back off, leaving him there gawking at you like you just grew a second head while his fingertips ghost over his lips where yours just were. His ears are flushed pink.

“You’d think you’ve never kissed a guy before, with that face you’re making,” you tease, flicking his nose. “It’s very cute. But as much as I enjoyed that, it doesn’t exactly quite have the impact I’m looking for, and that’s exactly why I set today aside to practice— we have to act familiar. It has to be natural, and comfortable, otherwise it’ll be very obvious that it’s an act.”

The way Yeonjun droops at the comment makes you want to rescind it, but you have enough restraint not to. It is quite clear to you now that Yeonjun obviously does seek your approval a lot more than the others do – such as much was hinted to you by Beomgyu, but his reaction here further confirms it – so you want to be nice to him, but without playing a clear favourite.

Lord knows what Felix will think, is the first rogue thought to cross your mind, and suddenly reminding yourself why he’s part of this plan in the first place, you look over to glance at your best friend in horror – did you just string him along this whole time to go directly for the one guy here you wanted to wingman him with most? – but surprisingly enough, the look Felix gives you two isn’t one of burning jealousy or betrayal.

He has half his fist in his mouth and his eyes are positively sparkling.

You make a mental note to ask him about that later.

“Aw, don’t look too down, that took guts to go for straight away!” You turn back to praise Yeonjun, affectionately clasping his shoulder, and he nods quickly with a tiny, hopeful grin. “My only feedback is to not be so careful. I’m not gonna flip out at anything less chaste than a peck, I’m trying to cause a scene. Has to be somewhat scandalous, without, y’know, actually getting us arrested for public indecency.”

Yeonjun chokes on nothing, then recovers with a laugh – but before he gets to say anything back, Taehyun has bolted upright from his seat on the bed, a sudden determination in his steely gaze. He makes himself quite difficult to read, whether on purpose or otherwise; you know factually that this man has some sort of crush on you, that is, if Beomgyu’s word is truthworthy, though, you have no real reason to doubt him thus far. Unlike Yeonjun who wears his heart on his sleeve, Taehyun’s expression remains consistently unreadable to you whenever you observe him. Part of you wonders just how much of that wall is intentional. Regardless, the words that come out of his mouth next are the ones you expect the least.

“Let me try.”

It’s not a question. He gives you room to decline, but it’s very pointedly not a question, and just that confidence from one of the more reserved members of the group is enough to get your heart thrumming again – not that it had much of a chance to calm down yet. Your mind flickers back to the back-n-forth between him and Gyu in the group chat, the hickeys left all over his neck, and the tip he oh-so-graciously gifted you in a pre-emptive strike of revenge, and suddenly you feel hot.

“Sure, go for it.”

Taehyun grabs you by the back of the neck. He doesn’t even hesitate, pulling you in to slot himself where Yeonjun was just a moment ago, crashing your lips together and shoving the other man out of the way with his free arm as he backs you up into the wall again, pressing you against it and kissing you breathless. He’s fucking intoxicating, the way he dares to taste you on his tongue without care for the audience around him, without care for anything else except his hands in your hair and on your hip and the way he gasps against your mouth when you loop your arms around his shoulders and hook a leg around his waist. He shoves his hips forward against you in response and the others react so loudly your neighbours probably thought everyone’s favourite soccer team scored a winning goal.

“Woo! More tongue!” Beomgyu hollers, and Taehyun doesn’t even break the kiss for the one moment it takes for him to presumably flip him off, if the hand leaving your hip was any indication, followed by a very prompt “Fuck you too!” from his roommate. You realise quickly that he isn’t going to be the one to pull away first, so regrettably, you push him back with a coy smile and a thin string of spit connecting your mouths.

“Eww, gross,” Soobin snickers, hiding his laughter with large hands over his mouth. “Wow, I’m shocked. I didn’t think you had it in you, Tyun.”

He shrugged in what sure looks like nonchalance, but you start to think it looks more like self-restraint, given how keen he was on not stopping. “He said he wanted a scandal, and if that won’t scandalise his conservative homophobic parents, I’m not sure what will.”

It takes you a good few seconds just to re-gain your ability to speak, but by then, he’s already turned back to you with his hands in his pockets and a smug grin on his face. Fuck, you must be blushing – the way Chan and Felix are grinning at you from the side with a knowing look in their eyes tells you you’re probably definitely blushing.

“So, how was it?” he prompts cockily, and you hate the way you instinctively swallow and betray how flustered he got you that easily.

“G-Good,” you hum weakly, clearing your throat before repeating yourself. “Good. Um. Yeah that was like, kind of exactly what I was looking for. Flying colours. You pass! Though, I have to say, and don’t get me wrong I am thoroughly happy to kiss you all, um, we do kind of need to be able to sell the act without relying on just. Making out repeatedly every time they look in our direction. Try and save those for when they seem the most pissed off. But yeah, that was like… good.”

Felix wriggles his eyebrows at you suggestively. “That good, huh?”

“Oh, shut up and get over here,” you mutter, making a harsh jerking motion for him to come forward and save you from your embarrassment – he has a towel on his head from drying out the dye in the sink just before, so you snatch it from him to quickly and roughly towel-dry it to distract yourself from your burning face. The black hair looks good on him, you think, the way the dark wet strands fall in front of his face and frame his features in a way you haven’t seen on him before – last time his hair was any darker than blonde, it was his natural brown and didn’t reach past his eyebrows, and now his hair was getting long enough at the front to tickle his nose. He looks like a completely different person, and frankly, now is the worst possible time for him to be looking a lot more attractive than you would allow yourself to internalise prior.

“Right, so we gonna show them how it’s really done, now?” Felix teases, and you punch him in the arm with a scoff, making him recoil as if you just bowled him over. You can’t even tell if he’s gotten flirtier with you if he’s just pulling your leg, but you did say you would use him as a demonstration for the kissing part. Not that you need to, anymore, with Taehyun setting such an example, and you tell yourself that’s a good thing. “Ow, ow! How you wound me, lovebug.”

You wrinkle your nose at both him and how hard you’re thinking about kissing him now. “Don’t call me lovebug.”

“Why not? Aren’t we meant to be boyfriends, now?”

A breathy laugh escapes your lips at his attempts to lighten the mood while you finish towel drying his hair and tossing the cloth into your laundry hamper, fixing the strands atop his head to sit nicely.

“Yeah, yeah, but lovebug is a bit much, I think. You’re on the right track, though, take notes of that everyone – casually dropping pet names between each other in a way that looks natural will be perfect for making a convincing polycule, so utilise that, just try not to lay it on too thick.” You’re back into dedicated drama teacher mode before you even know it, Felix content to stand beside you with a curiously pleased grin as you explain to everyone further.

“For today, I don’t expect all of you to start kissing each other on the mouth, but I do want you all to start getting familiar with breaking the touch barrier, obviously within whatever your partner consents to. Using Felix as my example, some other things I’d like to see and focus on are placements of hands—” you wrap yours around Felix’s waist, and he’s quick to mirror you, only to blush when you slide a hand into his back pocket, “—or small yet intimate actions, like, tucking hair behind their ear, playing with each other’s hands, touching their neck, things like that.”

You demonstrate each action on Felix as you say it, and by the time you have a hand on the side of his neck and caress it gently with your thumb, you find he’s completely relaxed into your touch, leaning back against one of your shelves as he pulls you in front of him between his legs and plops his chin on your shoulder with both arms around your front and playfully patting patterns on your belly.

“Hey,” he murmurs, breath fanning against your neck, and you can hear the smirk in his voice that’s usually so playful and silly but now, standing in front of everyone like this, has goosebumps rising on your skin. “I think just playing around with each other will look the most natural. Real couples do stuff like this all the time, right?”

Frankly, you fully expected you would be using Felix as a human test dummy, figuring he would be content with you throwing yourself at him all you want for the purpose of demonstration, and comfortable enough to do so, but you hardly expected he would be the one demonstrating anything on you of his own accord, and you swear it must be the residual adrenaline of kissing the two men before him that has you still riled up and on edge enough for the rumble of his deep voice in his chest pressed to your back to make your legs feel like jelly. Only a little bit, though, you are not getting genuinely flustered over the flirtatious actions of your best friend, rather, merely surprised at him being a lot less shy in front of others than you thought he would be. Not that he’s ever really been shy towards you, not in a long time now, especially when it comes to things like physical affection, but… you don’t know where that train of thought is going anymore.

“Right, yeah,” you agree, pliantly allowing him to grasp your chin and turn your face towards his, so he could plant a tiny little peck on your nose and beam at you widely. His face is so close, and unlike the previous two, you have not thought about having this man’s face so close to yours since the two of you were in high school. His face has filled out so much since then; he’s lost all the baby fat in his cheeks, his jawline sharper and his features more pronounced, and now that he’s actually started using chapstick his lips aren’t permanently chapped and gross anymore either, in fact they’re now quite glossy and shapely-

You look away before he can kiss you.

You didn’t even realise you were staring so hard at his lips until you were leaning in, and all you hear of the commotion from everyone else around you sounds like static. Gyu is screaming, Wooyoung is cheering, Yeosang is trying to stop him from climbing onto your desk chair, Soobin has bowled Hyuka over with his face buried in his back while the newly-bleached blonde just laughs at him, Yeonjun, Taehyun and Hongjoong seem fixated on you and Felix, all for different reasons, Seonghwa is furiously typing down notes on his notes app again and Chan is nowhere to be found. Probably in the bathroom washing out his hair dye, you think.

“Yeah, so, um, all of that, and like, of course general flirtatiousness, is the kind of thing I’m looking for, even better if you can be an obnoxious prick about it,” you joke, trying to seem chill with no idea how well you were actually succeeding in it. “So, partner up and have some time to practice, I’m gonna go finish up Chris’s hair and then I’ll come back to evaluate y’all.”

Felix’s brilliant grin falls to a slight pout when you pull away from him, arms trailing after you as you leave for the bathroom. “You good?” he calls out after you, and you want him to know he didn’t do anything wrong to make you uncomfortable, but you also can’t handle looking at him right now when the face of your old high school crush in the body of a supermodel stares back at you, so you have to leave.

“Yeah, I’m fine! Just juggling this many people and makeovers is hard,” you reassure him with a slight smile, and that seems to console him enough to allow you to dip to the bathroom and leave the door only slightly ajar behind you, letting you take a deep breath to collect yourself.

Good fucking god. Okay, so Felix is hot now – that shouldn’t really come as a surprise to you, but it does, because you’ve spent the last god knows how many years trying to tell yourself he’s not really your type anymore, but especially in the clothes you picked out for him and his hair styled like that, he fucking is. He’s the spitting image of your type and all of a sudden with the balls to match – or maybe he’s had the guts for a while now, but you pointedly did not want to notice – and you do not know how you are supposed to feel about any of it. You already have a crush on one of your two closest best friends, you definitely don’t need two – especially on one that already rejected you years ago, and especially not when surrounded by plenty of other equally as attractive and far more eager men who would give you their time of day.

You shake your head, ridding yourself the thought, instead letting yourself linger on the kisses you did have, how different they felt but how heart-fluttering each of them were anyway; Yeonjun’s uncharacteristic shyness and gentleness, how cutely flustered he was after in a way you really want to tease more, and Taehyun’s shocking boldness and confidence, how handsy of a kisser he is, how determined—

“Hey, can you pass me that towel?”

And of course, your actual crush, the one you oh-so-desperately want to get over but it’s kind of hard to do that when he’s standing shirtless in your shower with streaky blue dye dripping down his face and neck.

“O-Oh, yeah, sure.”

It’s not the first time you’ve seen Chan shirtless and definitely won’t be the last. That man hates wearing shirts around the house if he doesn’t absolutely have to, and even pants are optional if its warm enough, but you will never truly get used to seeing his muscular body that he works so hard on, all on display like this. You’ve gotten a lot better at not staring as much, though, not that he ever seems to notice, and just as good at acting like it didn’t affect you at all, so falling back into the familiarity of that is a relief after the whirlwind of emotions you just went through outside.

Once Chan finishes towel-drying his hair into a bright blue fluffy cloud, he slips his top back on, re-attaches his earrings and accessories, and it’s only now when you get to realise just how much effort he’s put in his appearance today to match your aesthetic. Not that the two of you were ever that far apart in that respect – he too didn’t have much colour in his wardrobe other than black, and preferred clothes with a bit of an edge to them, albeit, cranked down a significant few notches from your usual over-the-top attire.

When he looks at his reflection in the mirror, though, he doesn’t seem too happy with it.

“Something’s missing,” he mumbles, scratching his chin. “I don’t know what it is. But while I’m dressed the part, even with bright blue hair, it doesn’t quite feel… drastic enough, I guess. I feel like I still just look like the guy down the road your parents know and like enough.”

You give him a long, hard look – while you’re pretty sure part of it is his own low self-esteem not being able to see himself as cool, intimidating or attractive in any calibre, he has a point – he still looks too soft and familiar.

“Can I put makeup on you?”

Chan brightens up at that a little. You wonder if he was hoping you would say that.”

“Sure!”

You grab a stool from the corner of the cramped bathroom where you had the boys sit in earlier for him to sit on, but once you get your makeup out and decide on what kind of look you want to try on him, you realise it’s a little too low for you to work on his face without bending over. Glancing over your shoulder at the crack in the door, and hearing all the liveliness out there filter through it – shrill squeals, lots of laughter, some yelling, someone’s started playing music again – you decide you don’t want to leave the quieter comfort of your bathroom into that chaos just yet, so you straddle Chan’s lap on the singular chair with a shrug and get to work.

Chan has to steady you with both hands on your waist so you don’t both go toppling off the stool – suppose not having a back made it a little more precarious than anticipated, but his strong arms hold you in place just fine. You try not to think about it, because you really, really don’t need to be thinking about that right now, and try to simply focus on the dramatic smoky eyeshadow you’re applying instead that you think will really pop with the spare blue contacts you had lying around that’ll make his warm and approachable gaze a lot more piercing.

He doesn’t say anything, so neither do you, despite your heart beating arguably heavier now than it was what you were being pressed to a wall and made out with – and it becomes a lot more dangerous to think about that now instead of a welcome distraction, because his face is so close that you can observe every little detail, including the tiny, faded little freckles that dust his cheek in the warmer weather, and how plump and soft his lips look. Fuck. You’re rather glad he has to keep his eyes shut for you to do his eye makeup, because you’re looking down at his lips a lot more than you’d usually allow yourself to, but with all the kissing talk and practice and the weakness you’ve always had for his thick, perfect lips, you are just not a strong enough man today.

His hands shift you closer on his lap, and you feel just the slightest bit more insane.

“Open your eyes?” you ask him, to observe your work and snap you out of it, and he blinks at you a few times cautiously. A smile is creeping across his face, the nervous kind you’re all too familiar with – he has a certain smile he does when he knows he’s being perceived whether he likes it or not, and it’s just as adorable as it is saddening that he clearly has no fucking idea how breathtaking he is.

“How is it?”

“You’re beautiful,” you breathe out, a little choked up. The situation seems a lot more tense than you intended it to, but he must feel it too, because he shies away under your gaze. “I mean it. Not because of the makeup, I just used it to enhance your features further, but I really just…”

I really just think you’re fucking gorgeous.

What the fuck has gotten into you today?

“Just… what?”

You slide off his lap, ignoring the way his grip on your hips tighten for the slightest second before letting you go to rummage through your cabinet for the unopened blue contacts you knew you had in there. “Here, put these on. I think they’ll really complete the look.”

He shrugs, taking them from you and taking his time putting them in, not all that used to putting in contacts, but it isn’t his first time, either. You’ve roped him into enough cosplays with you and Felix over the years to have him familiar enough with the process of putting them in, and eventually he turns back to look at you with an icy blue gaze that is equal parts unsettling and arousing.

“Yeah, you definitely look fiercer now. Take a look.”

Chan finally turns to the mirror, taking in his new look, and his long evaluation of himself seems more intrigued this time around than distasteful, which is a win in your book. If he likes what he sees, maybe your confidence can start to rub off on him some, too.

“Wow,” he exhales, twisting his face this way and that. “I look like a completely different person.”

“Not really.” You know that it was against the point, so you elaborate. “Just a different flavour. You’re still the Chris I know and love, but you look more… confident, almost. And half of any act or aura of intimidation or coolness is just that. Confidence.”

“Confidence, huh…” Chan stands up a little straighter, squaring his gaze a bit more and trying to channel his inner you. He looks hot. Ridiculously hot. But that really can’t be your focus right now. “Yeah. I feel more confident, too. I’ll try see if it’s enough for me to put the moves on one of the boys,” he chuckles, and you smack him on the ass and playfully shove him out the door.

“Go get ‘em, tiger.”

-

taglist: @jaxavance @fiantomartell @roulette010 @jcngh0-hq @remiee @syunderful @absentcaryatid @yunho-leeknow @inarizqkis @pastelsicheng @john-joong @i-dont-know-me-either @xavi-in-kpopland @beautifulcolorgarden (idk why the tags arent working for a couple of yall sorry if you changed urls and i missed it!!)

#txt x reader #poly txt #tomorrow x together x reader #txt social media au #txt x you social media au #choi yeonjun x reader #choi soobin x reader #choi beomgyu x reader #kang taehyun x reader #huening kai x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids social media au #bang chan x reader #felix lee x reader #han jisung x reader #seo changbin x reader #poly stray kids #ateez x reader #ateez social media au #poly ateez #jung wooyoung x reader #kim hongjoong x reader #kang yeosang x reader #park seonghwa x reader #diverseinsertsknet #skz x reader #poly txt x reader #poly skz x reader #poly ateez x reader #male reader

[magnoliamyrrh]

and at some point my therapist said, well listen, if you're going to be too fucked up to be independent, than you'll just live with your parents and that is it.. and i just fucking lost it in that moment

like, thats not on the list of things that's possible. yea, i could keep living with them, and work part time if im able or do some sort of thing to bring in some money. but thats not on the list of things that's a possibility

turns out two suicide attempts later and two deadly severe eating disorders later and therapy later and running away from home at least three times for weeks or months on end, by some miracle of god my family is no longer abusive. id still much rather kill myself than spend my life living with them though. i will never be able to truly breathe or be myself, not really, ever. what is the point of a life like that? i have spend the vast majority of my life that way, i do not want a lifetime of it more....

. ... and my parents and especially my stepfather have made it very clear that they are unwilling to do such a thing. even if i had some severe mental disorder theyd be unwilling to do such a thing. made it very clear id be a burden on them. they may have in recent years pity for the severity of my physical health issues, but i know damn well underneath that, itd be a fucking burden. even with all the household help i could possibly do, even bringing in some money, id be a burden and in the way. theyd and especially my stepfather would never stop resenting me, seeing me as nothing more than a failure, or some pathetic thing which needs too much and cant give enough in return. id be ruining their retirement too, anyway, and they deserve better than having me as a burden

.... thats not a damn option here

and my grandmother who raised me, very similar situation. absolutely suffocating, and she wont take me in long term anyway, and even if i work part time ill never stop hearing the end of how much of a failure and shame i am - not like i dont hear that now

...and my other grandparents, they likely would. they would drive me insane too, theyre controlling as all hell. and id have to deal with being around my father at least every once in awhile, which sounds far faar from pleasant.... but they need help in their old age, and they would welcome having me around at least...... but i dont know how much of an option that is, either

....and what - live with a friend, get married even? thats never going to happen. by this point i should get it well in my head, im going to be single for a lifetime. i refuse to be a burden on anyone like that, anyone deserves better than someone whose already with this many issues at only 23. and most people arent exactly in the best economic situation to have someone around who cant work themselves to the bone. and those who do have that economic situation - lets say there are women who would want a housewife;; any woman deserves better than one which is already sick by this age though, who has periods of being damn near dysfunctional, who is so fragile. it would be selfish and cruel and stupid to let anyone ever be with me

....... and so, what exactly am i left with here, in the likely case i actually cant find some sort of superhuman strengh which 98% of people with this condition cant find to get some sort of decent paying job and have independence?...... ? because spending my life being a fucking burden on others isnt what i want to do. and sure i dont have this mentality when it comes to other disabled people, but i do with me. its not something i want...... so.. what exactly? ..... see if the orthodox nuns will take me in? see if some other religious sect from somewhere will take me in? ..... kill myself and be done with all this?

better perhaps anyway, for my parents to have a dead daughter than one that burdens and disappoints them for an entire lifetime

[moonlightsmasquerade]

Okay , Swap Sub bad ending ( and being cryptic ) time!

My idea is that maybe the other deep ones are able to get Evie to remember her past existence as one of them before replacing the real Evelin , and that's when her humanity slips off .

Ruth was looking for Evie after she just vanished from her house , and unfortunately becomes Evie's first victim in a long while . Dave had been chasing after Ruth to prevent her from going too close to the water , and Evelin attacks him too , but he survives! Though not without losing something : his eyes , so now he wears his sunglasses 24/7 to hide the fact that he's blind .

It's after seeing Ruth's corpse and what Evelin has become , and having been told the whole story by Six not too long ago , that Adam probably has a full blown emotional meltdown . Maybe the deep ones already saw him as Six's "student" in becoming a worshipper , so maybe they're confused on why Adam is crying and screaming when he was supposed to be rejoicing along with them .

"Sweet child , why do you weep?"

The towns are overtaken just like planned , and seeing that the "miracle of God" that he believed in so much did not come to pass at all , I think Mark would give up and finally go into the water .

"We're so happy you've finally joined us , Mark! Cesar and Sarah have been waiting for you!"

I agree that Jonah would run the heck away while he still had time , but you know who else I think would leave? Mrs. Torres and Lynn . It was probably Adam who convinced his mom to flee without him , because he no longer wanted her to be scared for him seeing as his mental health declines .

"Distraught at the sight of her broken son"

After the whole indoctrination and reluctant follower stuff those two anons pulled up , I came up with something . Adam still becomes the "evil fish priest" , mimicking how charming and persuasive the deep ones are when they're pretending to be a human person , but he's doing all of this out of fear of death , but also because he wants to try and do something right for Evelin , since he's still in denial that she was a monster all along . Denial is the first stage of grief after all .

Of course , Six would have preferred if Adam believed what he preached himself rather than doing all of this reluctantly , but it's better than nothing he supposes . Speaking of the ugly motherfucker , he sort of "retires" after some time once Adam begins preaching the worship of the deep ones , but he's still around , looming behind his boy as a reminder not to try anything funny . Adam likes when his once father figure ruffles his hair or hugs him , even though he's aware it's all just tricks to keep him under control . He is just too touch starved to care at times . ( Inspired by the "We have given you , O Adam" passage from Oration on Human Dignity , by Giovanni della Mirandola )

"We have given you , O Adam , protection for as long as you live as our prophet , from whatever harm may come your way , as your mortal eyes and soul are too blind to see them as we old ones do . By your own human nature you are still free to do as you please when not using our word , but you are cursed to remember that you are forever bound to our will and your existence forever chained to ours"

As one last thing on the more wholesome note , Jonny could be a straight cat that Adam found and decided to adopt . He's basically like Adam and Dave's therapy cat . Didn't know where to put so I'll put it here : since Dave now needs near constant help because he's blind , Adam invited him to live together , so now it's traumatized boy and blind tired uncle figure living together with their therapy cat

No ending notes in this one , it's getting too long , so I guess you guys can ask whatever you want as compensation lmao

-Ace Anon

YEEEEAAAAA!!!!! Ooooooh man ADAM SENDING HIS MOM AWAY IM SOBBING and mark just.... AUGAHAH its very hard for me to articulate but I love this... So much

#submandela swap #SO GOOD ACE THIS IS AWESOME #augh RUTHHHHHHH #it all ends in TRAGEDY

[ask-lunticas-characters]

I don't want you to grow up to be like me

To learn all the obstacles gone threw and think it shaped me to be a "good person"

I don't want you to think strength is soly good. That to be strong, to be able to take the punch, to take the insult and to take the suffering is good. To take the abuse is good.

Because it's not.

Strength shouldn't be required to live grow and prosper.

You should be able to enjoy the joy that kids being kids are given. To smile and laugh. To see mistakes as an opportunity to learn. To learn self care and self love, with safety and compassion.

You shouldn't know the point of view I write when I tell my story.

You're not supposed to relate and understand where I come from when I describe the pain.

It's not supposed to be relatable.

But it is. Isn't it.

I'm known for being observant, a good listener.

Ive seen the grown communities. The opening up. The outreach of understanding and trying to tell others they aren't alone.

I keep trying to cover my ears.

But you can't silence every voice.

I see the beauty in survival all the time in my own system.

Love and happiness blooming even in the scary parts of life.

Growth of every kind in so many places creating something new.

Hope and determination fighting threw it all.

Even in myself.

Crying and wanting everything to stop, yet my grip still tight with courage to keep trying to go forward.

So I look over at the others. The ones who know what it feels like to learn your own past. To be scared to look at old pictures. Flinch away from mirrors, sudden noises, or any movement. Tip toes and silent controlled movements. Trying to do anything to ignore the multiple types of pain you can't process. Trying to be good, or anything but.

I see them existing. Speaking. Fighting. And I feel so sad. There shouldn't be so many. There shouldn't be any of this miracle, this creation of the mind. But we are here and we are still smiling. Finding love. Growth. Safety.

You shouldn't grow up to be like me. But if you did, I'm glad you are still existing.

You shouldn't understand. But if you do, don't let the abuse win.

You shouldn't have this battle. But if you do, there are friendly faces in here.

You aren't a product of the abuse and strength you may or may not have had to have.

Even if there was no "you" before it. Even if it changed everything.

You are a product of genuine happiness, of small moments and tiny details. You are a result of the growth you nurture, And what you cut off.

You are what makes you hopeful.

Maybe one day, no one will grow up to be like me. Perhaps I'll have a time when my perspective is valuable for its rarity. That no one will tell me that im stronger because of my past like that's a good thing.

I genuinely hope one day we all can be weak. Safely, with health protected.

For if, before nature reclaims me, there comes a time that no one new ever has to understand, than maybe thing are the horror it can apear to be.

-raven

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actuallydid #csa survivor #trauma #abuse survivor

[guts4ammo]

i miss my little brother so fuckin much. hes so far away i cant even visualize the distance. at least when he was hospitalized at home i could map out where he was and how to get there. he was still close and now idk where he is not really. im his older sibling i was supposed to protect him from the stupid social shit your parents can't protect you from when you enter the world of your peers. and instead i had no idea what was going on and how bad it was until it was too late. and he tried to tell me shit sometimes but he would always downplay it or tell me so long after the fact that idk what i was supposed to do. i told my parents when i thought it was more concerning than typical growing up but i guess i fucking missed it because all of a sudden it snowballed. and now my little brother who i cant even remember living without tried to fuckin overdose and im still here across the state from home. and he's all the way at a residential rehab thing in california for the next month or so and he's so so so far away and i miss him so much. i feel like i havent seen him in years and ive only been able to catch glimpses of him. like i expected him to change and mature and be less of a goofy kid as he got older but its like someone sucked all the light out of him and i barely recognize him anymore. i dont have any recent photos of him really truly smiling and i cant look at the old ones of him looking so happy without fucking tearing up. i guess thank fuck for small miracles that the private shower was open for me to sob in. i just miss him so so much i want my little brother back idk where he is anymore

#sorry to vent i just need somewhere to put this #suicide attempt cw #vent tw #minors dni #that seems appropriate to put on bc i thing bee has that tagged blocked

[iconsumeheadcanons]

not gonna lie, it really feels like every post here that i see about ppl not having reading comprehension and being unable to understand metaphors and getting whiny about english teachers and there motifs is just full on (unintentionally or not) making fun of ppl w different education and different brains.

like cool im glad that youre so good at reading. im not. i try my best. i learn every day to the best of my ability. im never going to be at your level and making fun of me is not helping. now everything i say sounds stupid bc i missed the point or the joke that was "so damn obvious". im sorry i dont work like you.

like my teachers tried so much. not all of them were great tho (WHICH IS SO IMPORTANT IN THIS CONTEXT BTW) but it doesn't matter how nice someone is to me or how much they spell it out to me, im not going to be able to do it on my own. im sorry i dont look at the red curtains and think of [insert obvious motif here] and im sorry that metaphors go over my head and im sorry im fucking trusting that ppl arent willfully lying. im not media literate.

i know im making this about me when its not, but im the kind of tumblr ppl getting pointed out here so idk. i really like that post that describes diff types of literacy and what spots someone could be lacking in! a constructive look at the differences in communication!! also can we PLEASE acknowledge the role of Education. why can we acknowledge that older ppl arent going to be 'politically correct' bc they didnt grow up that or felt a need to say different (ie old queer ppl who use whatever labels are considered 'rude' now) but we cant acknowledge that many ppl don't have the "right" brain for what ur saying? or that their school is hot shit at literature education? theres an actual fucking reason we complained about lit teachers making us find a secret correct understanding of a situation of a grade. bc we didnt understand and no matter how much they say that we should that we still dont. bc the teachers can try their best but theyre not going to get some neurodivergent kids to completely understand metaphors.

(sorry non americans im about to talk about us here i know yall dont need to deal w this part) post about americans not knowing about other countries until such and such age? and there were Americans making fun of others (who may or may not have been lying, tho im gonna say most werent bc what a thig to lie about) bc they mustve been so damn stupid to not know about other countries right?? like as if that has nothing to do w schooling, location, culture, and a million other things. i didnt know ither countries existed untill o was like 12. yes i have some unusual circumstances (no tv being an important one) but i was just a normal kid living an average life in the us. sure my school didnt teach me and my parents didnt, but why would i, as an english speaking 8 year old w a completely american family in the countryside and no forseeable need to leave my gigantic nationalist country, need to Know about Other Countries? as stupid as this sounds (bc thay would be bigoted to say) its true? what would an average monolingual child in the us w no money need to know about other countries YET? are we gonna make fun of kids for that? or are we gonna acknowledge that education and stuff is not equal?

i know im still fucking worked up about this bc im being too sensitive or whatever. but shut up please. we may not have known before how sucky at CERTAIN literature things as the rest, but we know and theres not much that we can do but try our best. so shut up about ur superior brain and ur superior schooling. im glad that u are able to touch the magical hidden words in poetry and articles and whatnot. like seriously i am!! that can be such a useful life skill!! i don't have it. i never got it, and unless i have some miracle teacher or feel the need to spend years perfecting my 'commom sense' reading skills? i probably never will. i can still get enjoyment out of literature! maybe i read too much baby stuff and thats a problem, but i havent read adult literature that actually hit some magical Brain Thinking Worldy thought so. whatever.

#not many ppl or gonna see this #im just yelling in a void #if this somehow makes it pass the 20 ppl here i might die #boop.txt #tldr; please remember disparities in education and also that language disorders and literal diversity in brain function are a thing #you giys are teachers so i absolutely understand why you get tired of ppl like me who seem to misinterpret everything u say #but. but. but. #please stop acting like 'ur illiterate ' is an insult thats useful to anybody #ill shut up now! im not really speaking for anybody but myself but i know theres ppl who can understand my hurt here #actually lets all shut up and let this shit go!!! kthxbai #long post

[romeoandromeo]

..

#I'm so frustrated literally feel like i need to take it out physically or I'll explode #why do i have to do everything when I'm in such intense pain #no one here would be able to make it a day with what i feel daily but its excruciating right now #the fact i can even do anything at all is a fucking miracle #but somehow im still expected to do shit that can wait a day here and fucking now #guys i cant take it #I'm in so much pain all the time is life even worth living???? #i literally want to die at least then i wont be in constant physical agony

[beyondspaceandstars]

That Black Tee

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, penetrative sex, fingers, slight metal arm kink, sex against a wall, semi-public sex, dirty talk - 18+, minors DNI. Summary: It was such a simple thing. Just a simple black tee-shirt. But the way Bucky wore it had you practically melting -- and he seemed to realize it, happily granting your needs A/N: idk guys there was just something about that black tee-shirt bucky wore in episode 4 of TFATWS. it got my mind wandering. and i love practicing writing smut i hope im getting better at it lmao

Masterlist

You knew you absolutely, utterly fucked the second Bucky took off his jacket, revealing that damn black tee.

So simple yet so fitting, so accentuating. He looked casual and cool yet incredibly powerful and dominant with that metal arm fully on display thanks to the short sleeves. Between that damn shirt and the hard expression he wore, you were pretty much done for. It took all you might to not march over to him right that second.

Bucky appeared to be aware of all this as he turned to you, feeling your eyes wandering shamelessly over him in that shirt. He just looked so… him. Not a soldier, not some asset, just him. And he was hot.

He shot you a little smirk, making your eyes widen, suddenly unreasonably worried your boyfriend could read your mind.

You two must’ve been too caught up in your silent communication because the next thing you heard was Sam asking if you were okay.

You jumped and forced yourself to look away from Bucky. "Yeah, Sam," you nodded, "I’m fine."

He hummed, suspicious. "Are you sure?"

But before you could answer, Bucky felt it was his time to chime in. "She’s a little distracted."

Your eyes widened again, this time sending a signal to your boyfriend to shut the hell up. He wouldn’t look at you and instead just laughed to himself.

"Distracted?" Sam questioned.

"I- I’m fine, really-,"

Bucky cut you off, "Actually, I need to talk with her about something."

Your jaw went slack as you tried finding some words of explanation, something to save yourself from this situation as you could see Sam’s concern growing. But nothing was able to come out before Bucky was grabbing your hand.

"You can’t talk to her out here?" Sam asked.

Bucky shook his head, profusely. "It’s a very private matter. Incredibly serious. Just between me and her."

"Bucky-," you just about yelped as he started walking to one of the off-shoot rooms from the living space. Sam tried asking more questions but Bucky promptly shut him down by slamming the door. Hard. It was a miracle the thing didn’t just fall right off its hinges. For whatever reason, that suddenly turned you on even more.

You stood there in the middle of the room watching as Bucky slowly turned to you. He had a playful glimmer in his eyes as he took in your nervous yet needy state. Your thighs were practically in pain from how hard you were trying to squeeze them together, wanting some relief to your core that was set ablaze by him. Him and that damn outfit. That damn hair. His damn face- God, you just needed your boyfriend right now.

Bucky walked towards you slowly, intensely. You tried averting your eyes to save yourself from crumbling but he stopped you. His fingers came to your chin, forcing you to look him in the eyes. He appeared to be just as eager.

"What happened back there, doll?" He asked just barely above a whisper. He held your chin firmly.

"What- What do you-,"

He chuckled. The fucker chuckled at your flustered state. "What do I mean? I mean that look you were giving me. How those eyes were peeling off my clothing piece by piece. Made me want to take you right there."

Bucky’s words went straight to your core. The wetness was pooling profusely, practically soaking through your jeans. You let out a little whimper as his thumb brushed over your lip.

"It’s your tee-shirt," you whispered, surprised that you could even find any sort of words in your dazed brain. He was way too intoxicating.

Bucky’s face shifted in surprise. "My shirt?"

You nodded. "It just… looks good on you."

He couldn’t help but let out another chuckle. You pouted at his reaction which he took as the opportunity to quickly place a kiss on your lips. You tried moving into him, grinding your body with his to beg for more, but he stopped, forcing you two apart.

"Oh, doll," he mumbled as his hand left your chin and slowly made its way down your body. Over the curve of your clothed breast, down your stomach, to your hips… the hand finally dipped under the waistline of your jeans. Without much warning, two fingers traced your folds, dipping slightly in to collect the wetness. He gave a few thrust, teasingly. Bucky groaned. "You’re this wet just from how I look in my shirt?"

You gasped, nodding. Embarrassment wanted to coarse through you but the pleasure from Bucky tracing his fingers to your clit was too much. Slowly, he started with circular motions, making your body jolt. You squealed in surprise. Bucky smiled down at your reaction.

He kept it up, adding pressure every now and then as he continued. Your legs began to shake forcing you to grip his arms in support. Bucky noticed this and brought his metal hand to your hip, steadying you.

He picked up the pace, his eyes boring into yours intensely. You let out a breathy moan at the sight of him, looking at you so hungry and aroused.

"Come on, honey, cum for me," he mumbled, still working on your clit. Every now and then he’d stop to dip a finger in as if gaging your wetness. In those moments you’d groan, waiting for the contact to come back. He never let you suffer long, though, finding his way back to your clit quickly, keeping the pressured motions. "Be a good girl and cum for me, doll, and I’ll fuck you real nice against the wall just like you deserve."

That was the final straw. His words alone practically sent you over the edge. Your body shook as the first orgasm pulled through you, lighting fire throughout your body. Your hips bucked and twisted uncontrollably, almost trying to get away from the touch but Bucky didn’t lighten up. He worked you through it, whispering sweet praises in your ear, making you lose it even more.

Once you came down from the high, Bucky wasted absolutely no time gripping your hips and pushing your back to the nearest wall. You yelped in surprise before his lips attached to yours, rough and demanding.

He lifted you up and grabbed your legs, circling them around your waist. You took the opportunity to grind into him feeling his erection hit your covered core. It lit a new fire in you making you gasp at the feeling.

Bucky moved his lips down your face to your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin. You whined and grabbed onto that fucking tee shirt, still trying to push into him, wordlessly begging him to speed up.

"Eager, doll?" Bucky asked. You could practically hear the dumb smile on his face and it made you want to slap it off. But all you could do in response was nod.

He placed one more kiss on your lips before his hand made its way back down your body. This time he popped the buttons of your jeans open. Briefly, he placed you back down to pull your jeans to your ankles. When that task was done, you were back wrapped around his waist, now feeling the erection more prominently. You let out a deep, uncontrollable moan when it hit.

As if he understood your annoyance, Bucky quickly undid his own jeans. In your dazed state, you must’ve zoned out because the next thing you knew, your panties were just pushed to the side and his cock was breaching your walls. You two were in sync letting our moans and groans at the warmth, the wetness.

His arms held you tight as he began his thrusts, so precise and strong. You were backed into the wall forcefully, enjoying the pressure and pleasure combining into one. Your boyfriend groaned above you, sounds going right to your core which was made evident by the squelching sounding in the room.

Bucky kept his thrusts up as his metal hand left your hip and made its way to your clit. His body held you up with his other arm, giving you a second to marvel in his strength. It was always such a treat when it came out in the bedroom. How he could hold you down or hold you up had your mind spinning half the time.

As his thrusts began to pick up, his metal hand started with the circular motions again on your clit. The coldness meeting your warmth was enough to drive you crazy. Your hands fisted his shirt, trying to keep yourself grounded. You let out a surprised moan at the whole sensation which Bucky seemed to like as he gripped you harder. Your brain was going fuzzy, drunk even, as he pounded you into the wall flawlessly.

"Bucky… B-Bucky…" you choked out.

"Hmm?" You could tell he was staring at you despite your eyes being fluttered shut. He was taking in every inch of your face contorting in glorious pleasure. It seemed to drive his thrusts faster, the circular motions on your clit picking up as well.

"I- I’m gonna-,"

"You gonna cum again, doll?" He asked, a little mockingly. You would’ve bit back if you weren’t in this state but you couldn’t do anything, just take what he was giving. You nodded weakly. "Alright, honey, that’s it… Cum for me, come on. I got you."

It was like Bucky flipped that last switch as his strength and speed picked up. You yelped, clinging to his shirt even tighter.

One final push on your clit was all you needed before you were crumbling in his arms. Your body shook as your orgasm flooded you with ecstasy. Bucky didn’t want to let up with the trusts, though, chasing his own orgasm and thoroughly working you through your second. He kept pounding, his hand opting to leave your clit to grope at your breasts under your shirt. The metal hitting your skin in a new place made you squeal again.

The sounds and motions were it for Bucky as the next thing you knew, he released inside you, coating your walls and thrusting in and out, letting it leak onto your skin. You moaned at the sensation.

Bucky gave a couple more weak thrusts before he let out a final groan and stilled inside you. Both his arms now were around your waist, pulling you close as you two panted, coming down from the pleasure.

Bucky leaned forward, his head resting on your shoulder. Your hands left his shirt and came up to his hair, where you ran them through his short locks.

"Was that what you needed, doll?" He asked, voice breaking through the heaviness of the room.

You giggled, "Exactly what I needed."

"Hmm," he sighed and straightened back up. He pecked your lips. "Guess I gotta wear this shirt more often."

You gasped, slapping his chest lightly as he laughed. But you couldn’t totally disagree. "I wouldn’t complain if it made an appearance every now and then."

Bucky shook his head, "I don’t understand how a black tee shirt can get you going, doll."

After he spoke, he slowly removed himself from you, letting you down from the wall. Warm wetness began soaking your thighs feeling so intimate, so hot, it almost made you almost suggest round two right then and there but that didn’t seem on the table after Bucky handed you some tissues to clean up. Not to mention the fact there were people in the living area.

You shrugged, readjusting your shirt and pulling your jeans back on. You watched as Bucky also readjusted his appearance. "It’s because it’s on you," you insisted. "You could walk around in the most ridiculous outfits and I’d still beg you to jump my bones."

Bucky let out the most joyous laugh at that. He walked back towards you, securely wrapping his arms around your waist. You placed a kiss on his lips, which he hummed happily into.

"I’m flattered," he mumbled. The light blush across his cheeks confirmed his words.

You smiled, "What can I say? I got a hot boyfriend and he should know it."

Bucky placed another kiss on your lips. "Oh, trust me, I think he knows it now."

You let out a giggle and pulled away from his grip, despite a little protest. "Come on," you said and motioned towards the door, "we should probably leave this room before we get any shit from them."

"Oh, you’re getting a lot of shit once you come out of that room," Sam called from the other side of the door, making both you and Bucky jump. "Might as well stay in here."

You groaned at the words, your face and neck suddenly becoming hot in embarrassment. Bucky just chuckled, somehow finding everything amusing, and wrapped an arm around you.

"Worth it, though," he whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek. You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t at all argue. Just glancing between the wall and that black tee made you suddenly hot and bothered all over again.

Bucky picked up on your gaze, once again practically reading your mind. With a suggestive smirk, he asked, "Round two?"

You bit your lip as his hand began running over the curve of your ass.

"Fine."

Bucky didn’t waste a single second before whisking you off your feet

#bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #marvel one shot #marvel fanfiction #marvel #mcu #mcu fic #fanfic #fanfiction #smut #writing* #fluff #slight tfatws spoilers

[moemoemammon]

I just found ur blog and read thru some of ur stuff and im in love !! Ur writing is nice to read, and always gives a nice picture of the situation

If its aight, could u do some headcannons for the demon bros Finding out mc goes real hard on housekeeping ? Im talking fast and good cleaning, does chores without problems, propably even cleans after them (totally doesnt mother them in anyway), all without complaint, mc just cares

Housekeeper MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

The fact that he didn't have to shove a mop and bucket into your hands like the evil stepmother has him like 👀👀

Out of every person he's met, you and Barb are the only ones that actually enjoy cleaning? And now he's wondering if you've been influenced by him in some way because got damn are those floors sparkling-

Ever since you've arrived, the house has been immaculate. But as much as he enjoys that, he worries that you aren't leaving enough chores for his brothers to do.

They're gonna be lazy at this rate, especially if you keep cleaning up after them like that. He's planning to sit you down and have a good talk about how you should rest a bit, and- D...did you polish his desk????

"MC... as grateful as I am to you, I thought I asked you to rest? You don't have to clean every little thing in this house. You're here as our guest, and more, so I won't have you behaving like a maid. But if you're that interested in keeping your hands busy, you may feel free to maintain my desktop. It looks as good as new, thanks to you."

Mammon

Oh, so you're one of THOSE types, huh? The goody goodies that like to make everything clean and sparkly, huh?? Well don't expect him to help ya!

Was an asshole at first. Made messes to see if you'd clean them, tried to dump his chores on you, etc. But now that you've stolen his heart? Yeah, he wants you to sit down.

You're messing up your hands with all that time spent scrubbing crevices and dusting ugly old paintings, when you could be spending time with him!

Tch, that's it! If it's chores that're keeping you from looking his way, he'll just finish them before you can do anything! Checkmate!

"You're always scrubbin' somethin'! Let my brothers take care of the messes, while YOU sit down and watch this movie with me! Ain't no point in watchin' it by myself, so I ain't takin' no for an answer!" "Huh?? Waddya mean 'when was the last time I vacuumed'??"

Levi

Oi oi oi...! What do you think you're doing with that feather duster?! You don't think you've got the right to approach his figures with it, do you?! WRONG!

But you quickly discover how ticklish Levi is, and he squirms out of your way while watching in horror as you... delicately handle every figure? And dust them from top to bottom, without so much as an accessory out of place..?

Wait... are you seriously okay with picking up all that trash?? S-some of it's sticky from all the junk food, and- Gah! Don't go messing around in his closet!!!

Yeahhh Levi doesn't let you clean his room lmao. It's way too stimulating to watch you carefully touch every surface in his room... I-it's like you're heaven everything with your presence, and...

"S-so yeah! The only things you're allowed to clean are the figures and the outside of Henry's tank! Nothing else, got it?! Anything more and I seriously won't be able to handle it...I won't even be able to sit still in my own room......." 👉👈

Satan

Satan found it funny how willing you were to take up every little chore there was to be done in the house and he's got to admit, reading is much more enjoyable in a tidy environment.

But what he REALLY wants to know is how you managed to dust off every single book in the house, his room included, without him?? Knowing?? And you've done every shelf as well, cleaned out the cobwebs behind it, and even repaired that little tear in the upholstery of his favorite arm chair????

Has also deduced that you're probably the maid character in the books that knows everything. Actually, you're a lot like Barbatos. What secrets are you hiding human 🔫

Just kidding. But yeah, when you insist on dusting his room, he follows you around the room and watches you. You know, just in case you fall or something falls on you! No other reason.

"As much as I like having you here all to myself, it makes me feel bad watching you do that by yourself. Why don't you we clean together? We'll get it done twice as fast, and when we're finished, I'd like to read a book to you. You remind me of a certain character from a murder mystery novel I've started."

Asmo

Eeehhh?!?!? You've seriously managed to organize both his endless skin care product collection, and his ENTIRE wardrobe?!? You're amazing...!

And you don't stop there. You were more than happy to clean his tub for him and everything, and you know how hard it is to get oil off the side of a tub, right? You're a lifesaver!

Asmo casually pawns off his chores too you. Oh, he just did his nails! Can you do the dishes? Ah, he just bought this outfit. Can you take out the trash? He's about to go out with his friends to a party, so be a dear and take care of the common bathroom for him?

Lucifer scolds the shit out of him every time he catches him doing that. You're welcome. But don't think Asmo won't repay you! He'll give you so much love, you'll be drowning in it! Figuratively or literally, depending on your preferences-

"Fufufu... if you wanted my attention, you should've just told me! You didn't have to go tidying up my shoe collection, but I'm happy you did~! If you keep spoiling me like this, I might not be able to keep my hands off of you! Unless... that's what you wanted?"

Beel

Things tend to get pretty messy with Beel around, with the trail of crumbs he always leaves in his wake, and how he manages to get every surface he touches sticky. But you must be a miracle worker...

You're like a living roomba, and his ravenous appetite is no match against your cleaning skills! You seem to predict when the food bits will fall, and it's thanks to you that he can eat without a care in the world!

It's actually kind of scary, though. He'll drop a bite of his sandwich and move down to retrieve it to eat, and... it's gone. Poof. Into the ether of the garbage can...

You can still rest once in a while though, you know? Beel offers to help you with the cleaning, and he's more than happy to let you climb up his shoulders to reach those high places. It makes him happy to know he can lend a hand.

"MC, I already cleaned over here so you don't have to do it. I cleaned there, too. That means you don't have anything else to do, so why don't you have a lunch break with me? It's not good to work so hard all the time."

Belphie

Belphie's one for the more observant brothers, so your clean freak habits didn't go unnoticed. He didn't know if you were obsessed with cleaning, or if you genuinely enjoyed it, but at least you were doing it without a fuss?

And man did you do a good job. Everywhere you cleaned was left with the lingering smell of vanilla and lavender, and... you know, the smell is making him sleepy.

Every pillow his head touches seems especially fluffy, too! When he found out you made a regular habit of washing and fluffing them, and they smell amazing... He feels like he's laying on a cloud...

He won't admit it genuinely, but he really does love what you're doing with the place. It makes him feel a little fuzzy inside when he finds his pillow on his bed, freshly laundered and soft to the touch. He clings to it extra tight those nights.

"You know if you keep this up, I might prefer the pillows to your lap. Ah, but don't worry, I don't really mean it. There's no way a pillow could replace you, no matter how good it smells. I think."

#I can vibe with this because I clean pretty often when I'm stressed and I just generally enjoy most cleaning #obey me #obey me! #obey me shall we date #obey me! shall we date? #shall we date? obey me! #shall we date obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me writing #obey me scenarios #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #obey me belphie