I think the DM is out to get us (Didier Guiserix, referencing Dave Trampier’s AD&D DM screen, Casus Belli 2, November 1980)
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Tumblr help
How did I cancel myself this time?
Can you translate me this from zoomer to dinosaur?
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Magma session with @zucchiyeni 👀👀
(click for full picture)
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Idol AU/Idol Killer belongs to @zucchiyeni
Idol Dust belongs to @safwunnz
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Btw, was rly fun drawing and chatting with yalllll and everyone else, cant wait for the next magma session 👀 💖 @tuxibirdie @zucchiyeni @elizakai
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Situation from today
Fun fact my DM looks really Usopp like so I plan to convince him to cosplay him one day.
I casted characters by how much each of my friends resemble and who would play DnD
Also the classes and races are not exactly the same as my friends
We have:
Usopp - Dungeon Master
Killer - Neutral Good Barbarian tiefling
Rosinante (aged to the age what he would have rn) - Chaotic Neutral Bard/Warlock gnome
Tsuru - True Neutral Sorcerer elf
Bepo - Lawful Good Druid halfling
Buggy - Chaotic Neutral Monk half orc
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Liu: hey Jeff, spell orange for me
Jeff: the color or the fruit?
Liu: okay I want you to say that again but slower
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Combusted
The Combusted is an undead created when a creature dies engulfed by searing fire. Usually created when the Elemental Plane of Fire briefly touches Golarion or as a result of magical mishaps, the Combusted now spends its endless time screaming in agonizing pain.
The Combusted has a single driving factor: ending its pain. There’s only one way it knows how to accomplish this: by lighting living beings on fire. It’s fairly dumb, with a -2 to Intelligence and no mental ability scores above 0. They remind me of the Lost from XCOM 2: while more intelligent, any hope at relieving their pain reduces them to madly dashing forth. Combusted can be run as a single creature encounter, a pair, or even as a horde at the same efficacy. The main horror of the Combusted comes from how easily it decides to inflict pain rather than continue to be tormented by it, and they’re just as terrifying in a group as they are alone. The Combusted could also be paired with other fire creatures. Maybe a cruel fire elemental creates them out of amusement, then chains them up to act as guards.
Once the Combusted sees a living creature, it immediately spends two actions to Stride towards them. If it’s not within range to use fire fist, it’ll fling a fire mote to slightly reduce its suffering. Once it is in melee range, it’ll use fire first Strikes to ease its suffering. If possible, it’ll maneuver into the middle of several creatures to use Blazing Howl. The Howl deals fire damage in a 15 ft radius emanation and is the most efficient way to light a group of living beings on fire that the Combusted possesses. If no such pathway exists, the Combusted will use Athletics to Shove a blocking foe out of the way. The Combusted also has a 5ft Intense Heat aura, dealing small amounts of fire damage to any PCs adjacent. It’s not especially smart, but if it can place itself next to more than one player it will do so.
The Combusted has one last notable feature: a Water Vulnerability. If affected by a water effect, it’ll take extra damage and become stunned 1. In the text for that ability, it also states that the Combusted’s flames cannot be doused by water. While this is straightforward when it comes to removing the Combusted’s ability to do damage, it also deals persistent damage. It’s not clear whether or not flames directly created by the Combusted count as unable to be doused to remove the persistent damage. Personally, I’d lean towards letting only the Combusted be unable to be doused.
Ultimately, I think the Combusted is an interesting enemy because it deals with humanity’s relationship to pain. The Combusted still has most of its memories, could speak, and can’t die unless its body is destroyed. By all standards, it should be considered a higher stage of undeath. But due to the constant pain of the flames, they can barely focus on any of it. They can’t remember anything because the present is too full of pain. They can’t speak, only scream. I could see the Combusted working well in a velstrac-related encounter due to this.
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Thinking about that time in our first campaign my character's dad (adoptive, a very important baron) almost died.
Apparently, he was supposed to. He was not supposed to survive contact with the lich. Don't even ask me how or why we got to the lich, genuinely all I remember is panicking because all of a sudden he had like five hit points and as the party schemer I had two thoughts that erased my awareness of everything else: (1) MY FUCKING DAD (2) THIS LICH IS GOING TO KILL US.
See, my job is finding ways to get us out of things, and as a wizard, I was well equipped to handle that. Except thought one, "MY FUCKING DAD," took priority over EVERYTHING ELSE. My little wizard was orphaned and down his only brother. This guy was all he had. His whole world. World's #1 dad.
... And the lich almost one shot him. He was collapsed on the ground and struggling for breath. This did not register as a cinematic moment to me because I was PANICKING. We roll initiative.
The lich rolls highest. I'm frantically looking through my notes to see what's available to me. Tries to kill me, too. Counterspell.
My turn. Throwing ALL CAUTION to the wind, plan only vaguely half formed, I run up to the baron and tell the DM I'm going to drag him back to the party.
"Your speed is halved from carrying him. You can't make it in 15 feet."
There's dead silence. Everyone is waiting for my response. Seconds of silence. "What are you going to do?" (DM speak for "please hurry up.")
"... I'm a tabaxi. I can make it in 30."
I double my movement speed and drag him back there anyway, to the confused relief of the party. Our sponsor (MY FUCKING DAD) is safe for right this second, but how are we going to fight a LICH?
"Anything else?"
"... I have a scroll of teleport in my bag. And I'm within 10 feet of everyone." Most importantly, I'd DUCKED BEHIND A WALL OF BARRELS AND CRATES so the motherfucker couldn't see me to counterspell.
There's dead silence for a few moments. The voice chat proceeds to blast my eardrums with excited cheering and laughing. The DM and I both pull up the spell. "Roll for it. Where are you going?"
"Home."
I roll a 99. We vanish from the lich's lair and are deposited, battered, bleeding, without guidance, in the charred, crumbled ruins of what had been the baron and I's residence. (It had not been that way until very recently. It was news to me.) There's relieved silence. There's an emotional reunion in what remains of our living room. I cast Tiny Hut in a defensible corner of the ruins after we all chat and we get what sleep we can.
(The DM would later confess that the baron wasn't supposed to survive and he had to change his plans now lol. We were supposed to be cut off from all resources at that point. My dad showed up in the final fight since he'd survived TWO murder attempts [ig the BBEG was the third lmao] and, well. I schemed then, too.)
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i can tell that something is right about me bc my dream boy is a fat trans gnc man.
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