the horror and the wild (and achilles)
basically i’m trying to explain why the songs that are in my iliad playlist are there at all and ofc i’m starting with none other than achilles. I’m gonna do this line-by-line so you can listen as you read but i won’t be doing repeated lines. enjoy <3
also, yes, i am aware that the song is written about an abusive relationship between father and child, and i love listening it to it in that sense (yes i’m traumatized) but in this context it’s obvs different. my ability to make everything about achilles is a gift that keeps on giving. if you don’t want this song to have different meaning than what it’s actually about, just stop reading.
You were raised by wolves and voices, every night I hear them howling deep beneath your bed —
The ‘you’ in this line is Achilles, who knew from a very young age that he was destined for greatness. He based his entire personality around the fact, hence the having been ‘raised’ by voices. The ‘wolves’ also remind me of the fact that he a) spent many years in a cave with Charon and b) had many father figures. I mean it. Count them.
They said it all comes down to (you) —
This ties in with the previous line. Achilles really was told that the fate of the war and hence the entirety of Greece depends on him, when he was literally a child. That’s way too much responsibility for a five-year-old if you were looking for parenting tips.
You’re the daughter of silent watching stones, you watch the stars hurl all their fundaments in wonderment at you and yours, forever asking more —
I mostly connect the female part of the song to Thetis. Firstly, I feel like this segment already makes her feel like an ethereal, divine being (although Madeleine’s voice does that well enough ngl), at the same time it also describes her character very well. The fact that the stars ‘hurl all their fundaments’ reminds me of Book (idk what book it is), where Zeus fulfills Thetis’ wish on Achilles’ behalf, no questions asked. I also feel like some people forget that Zeus literally wanted to marry her, she was that gorgeous, so ya.
You are the space that’s in between every page, every chord and every screen. You are the driftwood and the rift, the words I promise I don’t mean —
I don’t know what this means. Love it tho.
We’re drunk, but drinking; sunk, but sinking —
I love this line so much, you have no idea. It brings up the idea that while they all know that they are fated to die and it is guaranteed, there’s still living it in real time. They’re eating, laughing, speaking, with the knowledge that tomorrow they won’t be able to. They’re dead men walking. Also, on a less existential note, it reminds me of the fact that they’ve doomed themselves by starting the war and yet they continue it. They’ve dug themselves a hole and instead of hopping out, they dig deeper.
They thought us blind, we were just blinking —
Patroclus and Achilles now: Their decision to put the war on hold, a momentary action, is the blinking, in relation to “blindness” which would’ve been leaving. The ‘they’ who thought them blind could really be Agamemnon, who underestimates and insults Achilles with the little party he sends to him. Or it could be Hector and the Trojans who believed they were safe … and then Achilles came back.
All the stones and kings of old will hear us screaming at the cold —
The stones are a perfectrepresentation of the Trojan wall and the kings, well, that’s the current Trojan royal family but also all that have passed. They will hear Achilles screaming at the cold, which could be the sea or Patroclus’ corpse if you want to take it literally. When he hears the news of Patroclus’ death, his screams do in fact reach Troy.
Remember me, I ask. Remember me, I sing —
Yeah. Remembrance for Achilles is obviously a big thing, so I’m not going to go super deep here, however the switch from ‘ask’ to ‘sing’ is really nice, considering we’re taking about an epic that was sung in remembrance of Achilles. The first word of the Iliad is literally ‘sing’.
Give me back my heart you wingless (thing) —
This could very much be about the fight for Patroclus’ corpse, but Achilles didn’t even know that was happening at the time, so instead I just make it about Achilles wanting Patroclus to be alive again. He does in fact refer to him as “his soul’s far dearer part”.
Think of all the horrors that I promised you I’d bring —
To me, this sounds like Achilles referring to threats he made to Hector about killing him and bringing destruction to his people. While the threats were empty at the time, now, after Patroclus has died, he takes them very seriously.
I promise you, they’ll sing of every time you passed your fingers through my hair and called me child —
In the song, this is the same person as in the lines before and after, considering it’s a song about a father and his son, but to me, this line is about the fact that Achilles wants the affection Patroclus showed him to be remembered. He doesn’t want the love they had to go forgotten. This is 100% caused by the fact that in my writing, Patroclus and Achilles’ hair is a huge thing you might want to look out for if you read it lols. OH also, the fact that he cuts it after Patroclus dies is like a “if you can’t touch it, no one can” moment.
Witness me, old man, I am the wild —
Back to the Trojans. ‘Old man’ here obviously means father but we’ll just ignore that and apply it to Priam, specifically to the scene where he comes to Achilles’ tent and asks for Hector’s corpse back.
You are the son of every dressing up box —
Honestly, I have no idea what this means. It definitely does remind me of Achilles hiding in a costume among the princesses in Skyros, but that doesn’t hold all too much significance. Dressing up is also usually a kids’ game which reminds you that he’s really just a kid pretending to be someone he’s not.
And I am time itself, I slow to let you play. I steal the hours and turn the nights into (day) —
Instead of giving the female voice just to Thetis, I could classify it as divine interference as a whole. This line specifically is giving me Athena vibes, though she is not time itself. The way she refers to what would be battling in this context as ‘playing’ shows how superior she is and how much she looks down upon even her favoured soldiers. It also reiterates for the millionth time that these soldiers are really just children. The fact that Athena has to ‘let’ him or allow him to play illustrates that Achilles is dependent on divine interference to win his battles, but specifically the duel with Hector.
Day by day, oh lord, three things I pray, that I might understand as best I can how bold I was, could be, will be - still am, by god, still am —
Here we get to the self-reflection where Achilles realizes that he was never as great as he thought he’d be, and that he had failed his people by not using that greatness to its full potential. The ‘will be’ and ‘still am’ parts are just him hyping himself up to take revenge on Hector, reminding himself that he does have the strength to do it.
Fret not, dear heart, let not them hear the mutterings of all your fears, the fluttering of all your wings —
I don’t know how deep I can go into this beyond what it literally means. He simply can’t let on that he’s scared. I guess the wings do represent his inner demons, but it’s also kind of funny when you think of him being Podarkes aka. having “winged feet”.
Welcome to the storm, I am thunder —
In the storm that is the war, Achilles is the thunder, the loud thing everyone fears. It’s quite interesting to consider that in reality, thunder is safe. The danger is the lighting. In my mind, Achilles considers Patroclus to be the lightning, which makes sense when you remember that after his death Achilles admits that he is not the best of all Greeks, but Patroclus. This leaves Achilles to be the thunder, the echo of what truly mattered.
Welcome to my table, bring your hunger —
This is similar to the line before. It’s his table, his war. Hector is the one that has to come prepared, ready to fight, but also ready to be served, ready to die.
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Shoutout to Menecrates of Xanthus for creating what I consider to be the best Iliad AU ever made:
“Distress held the Achaeans, and they thought the army had been deprived of its head. Nevertheless, after the funeral feast for him, they made war with all their might, until Ilium was taken, Aeneas permitting it. For Aeneas, who was unrecompensed by Alexander and excluded from sacrificial portions, brought down Priam and in doing this became one with the Achaeans.”
Aeneas really said "fuck this shit" and I really respect him for it lmao.
In all seriousness, here's a little bit of context.
So this interpretation of the story is very likely based on a certain passage from the Iliad, specifically Book XIII, where Aeneas is stated to be avoiding fighting in the front lines because he's mad that Priam won't give him any credit despite being the second strongest member of the Trojan army. Said passage goes as follows:
"[455] So spake he, and Deïphobus was divided in counsel, whether he should give ground and take to him as comrade some one of the great-souled Trojans, or should make trial by himself alone. And as he pondered this thing seemed to him the better—to go after Aeneas; and he found him standing last amid the throng, [460] for ever was Aeneas wroth against goodly Priam, for that brave though he was amid warriors Priam honoured him not a whit."
Honestly, I could go on and on talking about why I think their conflict is so interesting and such, buuuuuut I should do more research about it and its like 1 am right now-
Either way I remember reading a retelling of the Trojan War that incorporated this where it was stated that apparantly Aeneas did this (with the help of some other Trojan guys too, I remember Antenor being a major player) on the condition that his family and those close to him would be spared. I think this specific part of the retelling stuck with me because Andromache is listed among the ones that got spared, which is pretty wholesome since Aeneas and her aren't really related or anything.
And yeah that's pretty much about it, I just wanted to shine a light on this. I don't think any other character from the Trojan War has ever gotten such different interpretations before and I find it rather curious. I also just wanted an excuse to talk about Aeneas.
I really like Aeneas.
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