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#let's acknowledge our faults
sysig · 5 months
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They’re perfect for each other honestly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Golbetty#It's not exactly Petrigrof but like - it's not Not that either lol#I'm really really happy that the show acknowledges that Simon was selfish in his and Betty's relationship - it's Very Good#And at the same time in it's small way Beth does give the concession of ''I guess that wasn't exactly [his] fault''#They're both called out! Betty's obsession with Simon caused her own self-destruction - and she takes responsibility for it#Simon is still shafted with the consequences but it's not like Betty doesn't get her own consequences#This whole journey is just more consequences of both of their actions! Of what Betty modeled she was willing to give up!#And Simon loves her. He respects her. He was selfish and self-driven but that didn't stop her from taking root and inspiring him in return#Her being self-sacrificing and then in her own selfish way not letting Simon make the same mistakes as her I just hhhhh#They're so lovely ♥#It's a bit matronizing of her haha but she Wants with her entire essence - she always has <3#It's her turn to be selfish Simon has had his turn - she won't let him throw away her gift as much as he wants to#They're just both so beautifully flawed ahhhhh <3 <3#''We made our choices. We could've made better ones but...I don't have any regrets.''#It's about breaking the cycle! Of him rejecting making the same mistakes! It's beautiful ;;#Also all the halo imagery drives me nuts ♥ Angel bf and his cosmic goddess gf
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I think people overestimate how feminist team black is. If someone brings up how Baela should be the heir to Driftmark, it's always "she would've been Queen if not for the Greens!", ignoring that 1, she would be Queen consort, not a Queen in her own right, and 2 she has a legitimate claim in her own right to Driftmark. Team Black's goal is to crown Rhaenyra, but Rhaenyra becoming Queen isn't a win for feminism because it does nothing to dismantle the rest of the patriarchal system that exists in Westeros. From what we've gotten so far, it reads that Rhaenyra wants to be the exception and not the rule. Rhaenyra has made a lot of bad political decisions, which means she can't acknowledge Baela's claim because it would weaken her own claim (blatantly admitting her eldest sons are illegitimate would not end well for her to say the least). So she betrothes Jace and Luke to Baela and Rhaena to kind of atone for that, like as a consolation prize Baela will be Queen and Rhaena will be lady of Driftmark, neither of them would hold either title in their own right. It's good matches because the kids like each other and will treat each other well, but it's not a feminist win or a feministic liberation. It's usurpation, usurpation that takes place because Rhaenyra has to do damage control after having illegitimate children and after a serious of bad political decisions (both hers and her fathers, Viserys is the arbiter of this entire mess). To me, Rhaenyra is very reminiscent of Mary Queen of Scots, I can see a lot of elements drawn from Mary's history in Rhaenyra's story and character, down to their sons eventually taking the crown they failed to claim/keep.
#hotd#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon#house of the dragon spoilers#Rhaenyra targaryen critical#I'm going to do a rewatch prior to season 2 & I'm going to analyse the bad political decisions from vis & Rhaenyra that lead to the dance#like by no means the only factors at play lets not forget otto daemon larys etc#but it's an interesting factor that the fandom doesn't really acknowledge#and a lot of Rhaenyra's bad political decisions are understandable because of her youth and because viserys does fuck all to prepare her#like even if she wasn't who he choose as heir she should've been given a better political education as a princess#but vis fails his most of his other four kids in that regard to#i mean he also fails to acknowledge them or remember them but anyways#he is a huge part of the reason aegon and aemond became he they did#props to whoever probably alicent for sending daeron to oldtown so he could grow up well adjusted#alicent: i'm writing a letter to daeron is there anything you would like to say to him?#viserys: daemon? why are you writing to daemon?#alicent: daeron?#viserys: who?#alicent: our son? the one you sent to squire in oldtown?#viserys: i think i'd remember if we had a son who's name was one letter different to my brothers#viserys: in fact i do alicent do you mean the one who lost an eye?#alicent: *screaming internally*#viserys targaryen#king viserys#rhaenyra is such an interesting character but i hate how the fandom sanctified her because how dare characters be complex and have flaws#like you dont have to justify their actions or bend over backwards to deny their faults to like a character you know 😭#and the same thing is done to daemon who is far more fucked up and far more flawed in the show than the fandom allows#i hate the team stuff tho i get hbo going for it as a marketing move that was genius but my god are certain stans insufferable#the entire point of the dance is that its a pointless tragedy there's no good or bad side theyre both awful in their own ways#but thats a longer rant for another time outside of the tags
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gammija · 5 months
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ok. tijd om te emigreren 🥲
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insanechayne · 9 months
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~ ~ ~
#yep you used me and got what you wanted for a while and then when things got too serious I became disposable#and even now with all the strides we’ve made and everything we’ve buried you still want to keep me a secret#do you have any idea how badly that fucking hurts?#you don’t want to use me anymore and you only want to be friends but you don’t want to fully acknowledge me as a friend#you won’t put me fully in the friend category and let us progress as two people who are truly just friends and for what?#fucking roped me into this bullshit from the very beginning and now I’m stuck with this mess I’m in#the pain I’m feeling is just… I don’t even know how to describe this right now#and the worst part is that even this won’t fully push me away or make me stop talking to you#I’ll still feel my heart race when you message me and get so excited to talk to you every day#because I’m just that fucking dumb apparently#I should be giving my all to my girlfriend and I’m trying so hard to do that but you’re still implanted in my mind like a fucking parasite#I can’t purge you or get rid of our memories or stop thinking of you#I can’t accept that the past is dead and this person who used to want me and make me feel so special is just the same as every other guy#I thought you were different and I thought our friendship meant something#but now I feel like I’m just that stupid girl who gets involved with a guy who says all the nice words and then gets fucked over in the end#yeah it’s my own fault cause I made my own bad decisions and played my part#I can accept my part in this and recognize what I’ve done that’s made this all worse#but fuck dude there were things you didn’t tell me until after I was already in too deep and that’s not really fair either#and now it’s like… do I just continue this friendship as if nothing ever happened? do I just move on as if we’re all just fine and dandy?#how do I reconcile all of this bullshit? how do I keep you as a friend without being angry or needy or idiotic all over again?#turned out to be much more like my mother than I ever wanted to be fuck me#personal
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thecatspasta · 2 months
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Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD
Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else
[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.
Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."
Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.
Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."
Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."
Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.
Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."
/end ID]
Ty to @aromanticsky for the id
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astrolynnworld · 3 months
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cramps
pairing: matt x reader
summary: you’re on your period and matt does anything and everything to soothe the pain away
warnings: fluff! period cramps, romance, care, reassurance, wholesome, pet names (sweet/pretty girl)
word count: 717
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i toss and turn as i feel my pre period cramps start to form
my period is not suppose to come for another 5 days but my cramps always come first, as a warning
i check raise my head to check the clock and see what time it is
“4:15 am” i see on the tv’s cable box
i lay my head back down and continue to shuffle around the bed to find a comfortable position for my cramps to relax in
“baby what’s wrong?” matt asks me with his raspy morning voice
“my period is coming soon, i feel the cramps start to overTAKE me” i say in soft annoyed tone
“is there anything i could do to help baby?” he concerns
“can you actually go get me my heating pad please?” i ask nicely
he hops out the bed and uses the flashlight off his phone to roam around the room and look for my heating pad
once he pulls it in comes back to bed, i hear him gasp
“what?” i jump in shock at his gasp
“your period.. came”
i sit up to see what he’s talking about and see a whole bloody mess stained into our bedsheets
“oh my god” i put my head in my hands out of annoyance and embarrassment
“it’s okay baby. i just need you to stand up for me okay?”
i get off the bed and start to feel the water works fall out
“don’t cry baby” matt says as he comes over to me and wraps his arms around me
“hey it’s not your fault baby” he tries to reassure
“you can’t help it.. you didn’t know, it’s completely fine. you don’t have to cry, sweet girl” he continues as he starts to play with my hair in the hug
i pull back and start to wipe my eyes as i start to sense that im being dramatic
“here baby, i need you to go wash up while i clean the bed”
i nod my head and make my way to the bathroom
“and hand me your clothes before you go in the shower please”
i do as i’m told then i head to the shower
i continue to wash up as i hear matt enter the bathroom
“hey pretty girl, everything still okay?” he asks
“yeah, i’m just finishing up” i sluggishly say
“okay baby. i changed our sheets and im washing the other ones now” he reassures
i stay silent out of acknowledgment but he doesn’t leave
“is there anything else you want princess?” he asks
“no thank you” i say while shaking my head as if he could see me
“alright..” he says before closing the door
i could tell he feels bad but i just really can’t be bothered rn. my stomach hurts, i embarrassed myself, im so annoyed, and i feel bad that he feels bad.. there’s just too much going on
i finish up my shower and put my towel on before heading back to the bedroom
when i get back i see matt had turned on the led lights, switched the tv to netflix, and had my tylenol bottle set up next to some water
“matt what is this?”
“nothing much. just me trying to distract you from your period” he giggles
“that’s not how it works sadly” i pout as i pop the tylenol in my mouth and swallow some water
“well, im gonna try” he comes in for a kiss
i start to get dressed, not forgetting the pad, as matt searches for a good movie to watch.
“do you want some to eat pretty?”
“is anything even open right now?” i genuinely ask
“only mcdonald’s..” he replies
“then yes please” i smile at him
“your usual?”
“yeah” i reply as i get in bed to snuggle next to him
“it’ll be here in 30 minutes” he says
“if we’re still up” i chuckle
“don’t worry. i’ll grab it for you so you can enjoy it when you wake up and not kill me for letting you fall asleep” he chuckles back
“thank you baby. i appreciate you so much, definitely a core memory” i turn over to face him
he smiles and places a kiss on my forehead, “i love you, sweet girl. don’t forget it”
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taglist: @cutiepatootie36273 @secret-sturniolo @sturns-blog @sturniolo-2003 @mayaaatok @sturnswrites @mattsleftnipple03 @mattybswife @tropicasturn @princessbetsy123-blog <333
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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no way it's nearly been a year since endwalker released
#🌙.rambles#I'M SO EMOTIONAL RN#T_T#endwalker's been out for nearly a year but i've barely done anything#no. i have done a lot but#it's still so little. there's still so much more#sigh perfectionism's gna be my downfall#in my desire to keep on improving#while i have well intentions. maybe it serves to do me more harm than good#always chasing higher quality. for a better tomorrow. maybe i lose sight of meaning in the past n present#it hurts bcs sometimes i look at fond memories n i hate how feelings of anxiety n stress twist happy moments#thinking abt oh i shldve done this i shldnt have done that. this or that wld be better or worse#while it's all well and all to recognize n acknowledge our faults n weaknesses#there's no need to be so harsh? this i know but it's still so hard#particularly when i think abt how i cld be letting the ppl around me down#being brain empty for the past few days n now i feel everything crashing down#i have to actively force to remind myself again n again that#i'm human. pain is inevitable.#but....#i think i have some emotional damage as a kid from. particularly one moment i remember when#i was do disappointed in myself for the first time i didn't get a perfect on a math exam in school#i just got 1 mistake. but. usually they used to call out who gets the highest score in class#that was the first time i wasn't acknowledged for my smarts n hard work#that was like gr 4. i guess the disappointment i had in myself n not getting the reassurance n comfort i needed when i was so young#i guess that impacted me huh. n stuff like that as well#bcs one of the ppl who used to be my closest friends (we just drifted apart now bcs different friend grps n schools)#oh apollo n i r definitely the smart kids but she's like. salutatorian kinda level smart#tmi 💀 but all that cumulatively gave me emotional damage i think .#i have. work to do. bye
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nwjws · 8 months
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in my head - yjw
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; pairing - jungwon x fem!reader
; synopsis - you’ve hated jungwon ever since you two met on the train to hogwarts back in first year; he’s self-centered, lazy, and always coming out for you. now in your seventh year, you’ve been named head girl (woohoo!). unfortunately, the head boy position was given to the one and only yang jungwon (boohoo…). with no other choice, you’re forced to face the annoyingly attractive boy and work with him for the rest of the year - if you can even last that long.
; tags - fluff, angst, crack, ravenclaw! headboy!jungwon, slytherin! headgirl!reader, rivals to lovers, enemies to lovers, hogwarts au (with a modern twist), bc they have tablets and stuff
; warnings - a little bit of swearing, a lot of hostility between yn and jw, lmk if i missed anything!
; wc - 12.9k words (umm.... have fun!)
teaser
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everyone’s eyes are on you as you stand up at the front of the great hall while the headmaster - professor bang si hyuk - introduces you as this year’s head girl. looking at all the students staring back up at you, you almost feel proud of yourself (keyword: almost). 
you’d think someone would be overjoyed at being acknowledged and recognised enough to have been given such a high position, but you aren’t. 
instead, you’re silently fuming, just barely keeping your temper in check as you plaster a fake smile on your face. your eye twitches as you hear a low chuckle from-
“the head boy, yang jungwon!” the headmaster announces. cheers erupt from around the room, all clapping for their new heads. 
“i can feel the waves of anger practically radiating off of you,” he murmured quietly.
yang jungwon. 
the boy you despised so much. 
listen, you don’t really hate anyone, but you’re pretty sure that what you feel towards the boy you called ‘yang’ is close enough.
in all your six years at hogwarts, you two have constantly been at each other’s throats. arguments often broke out between you in corridors; fights wherein one would end up stupefied or thrown against the wall; even little sabotages against each other that were subtle enough that teachers could pass off as an accident or your own fault rather than the other’s. 
for example, back in third year, yang had tripped you on your way into the great hall after everyone got off the hogwarts express. you had flashed everyone behind you and scraped your knee when you landed on the ground.
although no one saw him do it, you immediately knew who the culprit was, especially when he smirked down at you over his shoulder as he walked ahead. oh how badly you wanted to slap that smile off his face in the moment.
you retaliated the next week by mixing his white laundry with red clothes, so he was forced to attend his classes with pink uniform until he got new shirts. nothing satisfied you more than the glares he sent your way throughout the first day of his pink week, you could feel him boring holes into the back of your head even when you weren’t looking.
making your way back to the slytherin table, you thought back to when you got that fateful letter a few weeks back.
you slid the window open after spotting an owl from afar flying towards your house.
the bird flew in gracefully, and dropped your letter from hogwarts on the kitchen island counter, accepting the treats offered from your hand.
“y/n, please. close the window, would you? it’s so windy outside - it’s blowing away my papers!” your mother scolded from her seat at the table.
“sorry, my bad! i just got my grades.”
“ah really? let’s see it then.”
you scanned the letter, satisfied to see an O on all your subjects. although they weren’t your final NEWTS grades, they were an indication of how you did throughout sixth year according to teachers’ assessments. 
you’d been nervous at seeing anything below an O, but your friends had told you not to worry all summer.
“you’ve never dropped from the top rank in our year ever since first year, why would you now?”
“hiyyih, it’s only because of how much i’ve studied, but what if the expectations this year are higher? what if it’s not enough? what if i spent too many free periods sitting with you guys by the lake instead of-“
“be for real, you only did that twice! you’re the only person who’s actually spent their free periods studying,” rei said.
“well that’s what they’re supposed to be used for!”
“who actually does that! besides you, of course.”
“rei’s right, even yang jungwon often spends his frees with his friends.”
“that’s why he’s number 2,” you roll your eyes. “maybe if he studied during his frees, he’d finally get that number 1 spot he's been telling me he'd get for years.”
“it’s the fact he doesn’t have to study as hard to easily get second top student in our year. besides, weren’t you just worrying about not being first this time ‘round?”
that set you off into another episode of wailing and worrying about your results.
reading the letter, your eyes zeroed in on a shiny gold badge attached to the bottom.
  dear kim y/n,  we are pleased to inform you that you have been chosen as head girl for this upcoming academic year. you will be working alongside the head boy, yang jungwon, and all prefects across the four houses. you and the head boy’s duties will be relayed to you after the sorting ceremony. congratulations once again, you are well deserving of the title. sincerely, headmaster bang si hyuk
you still remember your mother questioning you after watching your figure suddenly go from jumping around the kitchen all giddy, to sulkily dragging your feet to the table.
of course, you were honoured to be picked, but did they really have to choose your enemy as your partner? i mean, the whole school knows about your rivalry, and you guys have been told off countless times by teachers! so was this really a smart idea?
when the ceremony ended, one of the professors led you and yang to the head dormitories.
(a “benefit” of being one of the heads was getting your own room, separate from your own house dorms. but you’d still be sharing the common room with yang, so that wasn’t exactly the biggest plus in your books.)
“as you can see, you will have separate private rooms, each with their own bathroom,” the professor pointed at the doors on opposite sides of the common room.
“but you two will share this living space. there’s a little library in the corner as well. 
“now for rules..." he started listing a bunch of obvious rules - like what's allowed in the head dorms and what isn't, when you can bring your friends, etc.
“and last but not least, you aren’t allowed in each other’s private quarters,” he paused before glancing at both students. “although, i don’t think that’ll be a problem.” 
he’s right there, you thought bitterly.
the idea of even sharing the common room with the boy irked you, let alone entering his own room. you could only imagine all the stupid tricks he was planning on you right now - but you were doing the same.
after the whole ordeal, the professor finally left you two alone, but not before telling you that you should start planning out the prefects’ patrolling schedules so that you could meet up with them as soon as possible.
you and yang stared at each other for a moment, apprehension hanging in the air. this is the first time you two have directly looked each other in the eye tonight.
“so… i guess we should get to sorting out those schedules,” he breaks the silence, gesturing to the scroll of names in your hands, which the professor had left with you.
nodding, you followed him to the large table in the middle of the room, where you’d hold a meeting with the prefects tomorrow morning.
“here’s the list of all the prefects, plus their student ID numbers.”
“okay, we can use those to add them all into a group chat on hog-messages and inform them of the meeting tomorrow.”
one of the newer developments at hogwarts in recent years was the addition of electronic tablets given to every student, so they’d be able to communicate faster with each other. it had an app programmed within it called ‘hog-messages’ where students could message each other or their teachers, and create group chats, all activity being monitored by staff.
the tablets also allowed the students to be able to write notes down on it, but most teachers often preferred all homework to be written on paper scrolls anyway. 
all this was provided by yang enterprises.
yup. yang was the son of the wizard who introduced muggle electronic devices into the wizarding world, instantly boosting their family into riches and success.
the world was given to him on a silver platter, so he’s always had it easy. and unfortunately for you, the boy not only grew up snobby and privileged, but was smart too. 
coming from the muggle world, you entered the wizarding world with an open mind. despite this, you hated the ravenclaw almost as soon as you met him. 
his ego was high up through the roof way before he’d even been placed in the house, and he emanated a strong intimidating aura. as soon as yang saw you on that hogwarts train, he turned his nose up at you like you were dirt before you’d even spoken a word to each other.
nonetheless, you managed to work out a schedule together smoothly. but the lack of clashing heads for once put you on edge, you felt like something was just wrong.
“alright, i’ve sent a message to the group,” he said, staring at his screen.
“okay…” you trailed off, unsure what to say. “um, let’s be civil this year, yang,” you say instead, putting a hand out.
the boy looked up at you, before glancing down at your hand then laughed in disbelief. as if you had said you were going to run 100 laps around the castle.
“duh, i knew that when i got the letter. that doesn’t need to be said. are you an idiot?”
now it was you who stared at him in disbelief. there’s the yang you know.
lowering your hand, you scoffed and stormed into your room, which was luckily closer so you didn't have to spend another second looking at his pretty face.
you should have known nothing would ever change. you can’t believe you almost thought that yang had changed. of course he’d never grow up, maybe he was just made this way. 
on the other hand, the return of his ugly personality brought you some comfort. it was just something you were more familiar with. you weren’t used to the driven and focused attitude he had on earlier when sorting out the schedule, and you’d prefer to keep it that way. 
unpacking your bags and showering before changing into pajamas, you set an alarm for 6:30am, so you’d have time for the meeting at 7:30 and can end it before classes began at 8. you went to bed feeling prepared for tomorrow.
the next morning however, you woke up late. 
the sunlight seeped in through the curtains, and after a moment, you checked your phone for the time.
8:34am
crap.
you practically jumped out of bed and began to frantically get ready, pulling on the first shirt and skirt you could grab from your closet.
why hadn’t your alarm woken you up? you set the alarm two hours earlier. had you accidentally typed 630 into the calculator app instead from a tiring day?
however, when you check your alarm clock, you saw that it had been turned off. although, you clearly remember pressing save and checking that it was on before tucking yourself into bed.
you pause as you brush your hair, your thoughts coming to a stop.
it was yang, you realised. 
is this his idea of civil? you wonder what he's on as you slip on your uniform in panic. 
quickly brushing your teeth, you put on your tie as you ran out the room, a chill hits you when you remembered the prefects’ meeting you were supposed to have this morning.
oh my god, they probably think i'm an irresponsible head girl. there’s no doubt the bad impression being late on your first day as head girl would leave on not only the students, but the teachers as well. 
will they revoke your position? will they give the badge to another, more responsible girl? who preferably doesn’t have beef with the head boy? 
you cringed at the thought you might be punished because of something entirely yang’s fault, and he’d get away with it. as he always does. 
you ran down the moving stairs, almost slipping off the edge when it suddenly changed paths, towards your first class as you cursed out the head boy in your mind. 
but soon enough, nervousness took over as you neared the classroom.
there was only about 15 minutes left of the period, so was it even worth it to go? and besides, yang was in this class too. you’d hate to see the gloating smirk on his face when you enter and get scolded by the professor.
before you could decide however, the door opened, revealing the very boy you’d been planning revenge on all morning.
yang didn’t look surprised to see you there, evident by the grin on his face.
he faked a shocked tone though, when he announced your presence to the professor (and the whole class).
it goes without saying that you definitely had a bad morning, being held back in class for another half hour to make up for what you missed that morning. 
thankfully, you had a free period next, so you weren’t missing your next class this time.
although you hated yang jungwon with every fibre of your being, you weren’t a snitch. you wouldn’t dare expose him - mostly because it would be useless. who would really believe you, when you were already messing up so early in the year? and certainly not when it accused the school’s beloved heartthrob. 
so you took your punishment on without a complaint, pointedly ignoring yang the rest of the day, who didn’t even try to hide his smile.
you sighed as you made notes on griffin claw substitutes, all alone in the potions classroom.
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september and october rolled by; even though you and yang continued your little pranks and tricks on each other, you guys managed your head duties just fine. he did his work and never slacked, so you were satisfied.
you had gotten your revenge on yang by charming his wand to vibrate uncontrollably two days later. you remember barely being able to hold in your laugh as you watched him struggle to conjure a flock of birds, an explosion of feathers popping from the tip instead.
from what you heard, he also struggled in his other classes you didn’t share, which delighted you to no end. 
“what are you skipping around all giddy about?” hiyyih asked you sceptically.
“just that yang seems to be struggling in herbology class, according to jang wonyoung.”
“what did you do?” rei eyed suspiciously.
“how could you accuse me of doing something?” you gasped.
“it’s pretty obvious - head boy and student #2 wouldn’t just struggle in a class he’s always done well in,” minji shrugged.
you rolled your eyes at your friends, but then smiled cheekily when you admitted how you’d snuck into his room that morning and cast a charm on his wand with a spell that would only stop after twenty-four hours.
“okay, that’s pretty funny. i’m gonna have to ask wony about it later,” rei laughed. 
your phone buzzed, and upon checking it, you were surprised to see a text from the one and only yang jungwon.
Hog-Messages YANG JUNGWON (ID: 78395) professor kim wants to see us
“speak of the devil,” you tell your friends and show them your screen. 
you watched as the three glanced at each other, equally surprised.
“wow, a text! from yang jungwon! and it’s not some evil curse or cryptic message!” hiyyih remarked, which you nodded to in agreement. 
rei laughed. “you guys act like he’s incapable of simple communication; he’s just relaying a message.”
“sometimes rei, i think he is,” you joked.
YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 professor kim wants to see us
KIM Y/N ID: 78384 when?
YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 after classes today at his office
KIM Y/N ID: 78384 ofc it’s at his office, you think he’d want to meet us in the restrooms?
YANG JUNGWON ID: 78395 i hope u fall off your broom on the pitch also come un-charm my wand or something right now.
KIM Y/N ID: 78384 can’t 🤷‍♀️  sux 2 b u
"honestly, if i didn't know better, i'd think you two had a hate-love relationship," minji teased.
"ew, anything above dislike is something i will never feel for yang jungwon," you scrunched your nose in distaste. how could minji even think something like that?
"whatever," she snickered.
arriving in front of the professor’s office door, you opened it to find jungwon already inside and seated on one of the chairs opposite the teacher’s desk. you bowed in greeting before taking the other empty seat.
“so,” professor kim started. “we need to talk about your behaviour as the head students.”
you gulped. had you done something wrong? were those threats to revoke your position on the first day real? 
looking over at your co-partner, his face was unreadable, as always. he looked perfectly calm, which infuriated you.
“as head boy and girl, you two are setting the standard for the rest of the school. you guys are supposed to be role models. but i’m sure you already know this.” professor kim paused and looked at both of you intently before continuing.
“so why is it i’m finding out that you two have not been doing your patrols together?”
oh. so that’s what this is about.
you and yang had completed one patrol session together on the first week of school, and it’s safe to say that it was… horrific. without going into too much detail, you guys had practically argued the whole two hours that night; although it was unlikely, if there were any couples making out or young students causing trouble, they probably heard you two from a mile away and hid before they were caught.
at the end of the night, you both agreed that you’d just swap your schedules and patrol with other prefects - possibly the only thing you two had ever agreed on.
“we weren’t aware that we had to patrol together,” you replied when the head boy was clearly not going to speak up first. what a pussy.
it was a lie; you guys obviously knew that head students were supposed to patrol together. having been prefects in previous years, you knew how things worked. it was why you had done the first patrol together after all. 
but you figured that since it wasn’t a specifically given instruction, you didn’t actually have to do it together.
professor kim stared at you two incredulously for a moment, his expression somewhere between exasperation and disbelief. a pool of anxiousness swirled in your stomach at the way he sighed and pinched his nose bridge frustratedly.
“listen, i don’t know what si-hyuk was thinking when he had chosen you two as the heads, given your history and all. but he chose you. so please show that you’re worthy of the title - let go of your childish rivalry. otherwise, we may actually have to find new head students.”
“you could just let go of her, professor. i’d be able to work with any other girl,” yang finally spoke up. of course the first thing he'd say is an insult.
you gasped and glared at him. 
“clearly, you’re the one who’s childish and immature here. maybe you should be the one to get replaced.”
“enough!” the teacher slammed his hands on the desk. “if you two keep this act up, we will not hesitate to replace you both.”
and so with that, you and yang left the office in uncomfortable silence. not a word was spoken between you until just before you parted ways.
“guess we’ll use the old schedule again,” he said. you nodded.
being the end of the day, you were both too tired to argue. the heavy workload that comes with NEWTS in addition to the responsibilities of your positions, you both left for your own common rooms without sparing another glance.
the dreaded patrol round came sooner than you would have liked, and you found yang waiting by the castle doors. you always seemed to be the later one, as if he’d placed a curse on you with that trick at the start of the year.
he kicked himself off the wall he’d been leaning against when he saw you, and began to walk without so much as a ‘hi’ or ‘let’s go’. you had to quickly jog to catch up to him.
the air between you two as you walked around was silent and tense, so thick that you could probably cut it with a knife.
surprisingly, yang was the first to break the silence.
“i was thinking - we should plan the first hogsmeade trip for this term.”
“mhm,” you hummed in agreement. “i think it’s best to have it after the quidditch match in november.”
“yeah, at the end of the month. and people would be able to go before the winter break.”
you fished your phone out from your pocket and opened the calendar app.
“when should we have it?"
yang leaned over your shoulder to look at your screen. “let’s have it on the twenty-seventh," he says, pointing at the date on the calendar. "it’d be good to have the week between the match and the trip free so we can prepare.”
you nodded as you listened, typing up a reminder to speak with the professors about it. 
“hey!” the head boy suddenly shouted, causing you to jump. “what are you kids doing here?”
you looked up to find he had opened a classroom, in which three students in around 4th or 5th year were standing. they stared up at the pair of you with wide eyes, like a dear in headlights.
“what are you doing?” you asked, regaining your composure. looking at their ties, you realised they were in slytherin, like you.
the students glanced at each other worriedly and slowly backed away from the two of you. you noticed them hiding something behind them on the desk.
pointing your wand at the items behind them, you summoned it nonverbally, yelling ‘accio!’ in your mind. the items flew into your arms.
“you all better go back to your common room. it’s way past your curfew,” yang warned them. “20 points from slytherin.”
the group shuffled out of the room and quickly ran back to the dungeons.
“isn’t 20 too many?” you grumbled. maybe you were a little biased since they were in your house though.
ignoring you, yang sighed as he turned back to look at the contents in your hands.
“what is it?” he asked.
upon closer inspection, it seemed to be the plannings or blueprint of a large snake puppet that moved on its own, the quote ‘slytherin slays’ painted along its body.
you held back a giggle as you read the notes on how to make the snake glare and breathe flames out when faced with a ravenclaw. yang snorted as he read them as well.
“you slytherins are always so immature when it comes to quidditch matches.” you rolled your eyes and glared at him, imagining you were breathing flames like the puppet snake.
“at least we have a strong sense of support for our house. what’re you birdies doing? painting little flying banners that the players won’t be able to read on the pitch?”
“my team doesn’t need to read our house’s support. we’re good enough and know if.”
“sounds like there’s just no house spirit.”
“say that to me when your team loses,” he challenged.
“you’ll be waiting forever then,” you retorted.
“let’s place a bet. 20 galleons that ravenclaw wins.”
“fine! if we wins, i want you to pay my monthly subscription in an online game for a year."
“what?”
“i need money," you huff, crossing your arms indignantly.
“you need muggle money.”
“well, yes. but i mean, you can convert your wizarding money into muggle money, then pay for my monthly subscription in a game so i get game money.”
“that sounds useless; for a kids’ game? and you called me the childish one?” he raised a questioning eyebrow.
“i wouldn’t need to find peace in an online game if you didn’t bother me all the time, you know," you complain. "you’re like a piece of gum i can’t get off my shoe.”
“you could just cast a spell to get the gum off,” he shrugged.
“you’re right, i’ll just cast a spell on you!” you smile brightly. “stupe-“
“oh my god, okay! i’ll pay for your stupid game - if slytherin wins, which you won’t.”
you smiled to yourself, a skip in your step for the rest of the patrol.
soon, the day of the match arrived; ravenclaw against slytherin (because of course it was). 
the morning of the match was lively as usual, everyone split between green and blue. 
you watched the large snake float above everyone’s heads in the great hall, breathing (harmless) flames into every ravenclaw’s face. 
just at that moment, you bumped into the trio of students who’d been planning the little surprise. you sent them a discreet smile.
“20 points to slytherin,” you awarded for the clever trick, but also to make up for the twenty that yang had taken.
suddenly, you screech when a flock of small origami birds flew and pecked at your hair, ruining the braid you’d put your hair in for the match. 
looking up, you noticed the small paper birds flying about the hall, pecking at every slytherin-supporter. this was definitely ravenclaw’s idea; no doubt yang had gotten inspiration from the those students you two had caught.
“you good, kim?” a familiar voice greets you. you turn to see the devil himself smirking at you, pleased with the mess you are.
“i was, until you got here.”
“maybe it’s a sign that you’ll lose today.”
“maybe it’s a sign you should shut up.”
the match started without a hitch. 
you scored the first 10 points of the match within 6 minutes, and by the first half hour, slytherin was ahead by 30 points. 
you enjoyed the thrill of being a chaser, trying different ways to get the quarrel past the keeper. in fact, you enjoyed flying in general, and being on the pitch.
that is until, you started getting pestered by the other team’s seeker.
you noticed yang seemed to be flying around you after a few laps, and sent him a questioning look.
“what are you doing, yang?”
“looking for the snitch, it’s my job.”
“well, i’m not the snitch. so keep looking!”
“well i’m certainly looking at a similar word.”
it took time to process what he meant, but when you realised, you glared at the boy.
“focus on the game- if you keep your eyes on me, you’ll be paying for my subscription soon!”
yang scoffed and looked away, searching the pitch for the snitch, sending you a glare before zooming away.
the game ended in slytherin’s favour, your team’s seeker barely clutching the golden ball in his hands before the head boy could reach it.
cheers roared across the stadium when it ended with your team’s success, students running onto the pitch in excitement to congratulate you and the other players.
“seriously, the way you threw the quaffle into the hoop while gliding through the air - it was so smooth!” minji gushed as rei nodded in agreement. 
“let’s go, there’s going to be a congratulatory party in the common room!” rei says, taking your hand to drag you.
“can i come?” asked hiyyih excitedly, who was a gryffindor.
“duh!”
you laughed as you followed your three best friends, when you caught sight of a certain person in the corner of your eye.
“wait, i have to do something real quick,” you pause to tell the girls. they stopped as well and looked at you curiously.
“what is it?”
“wait for me. i just need to talk to yang - head stuff,” you tell them off-handedly, before running off to the ravenclaw team.
“it’s definitely not about ‘head stuff’,” hiyyih nudges rei, who nods as they watch you leave.
you make your way to the losing ravenclaw team, even congratulating some of them on a good game. 
when you reach your target, you tap on his shoulder to get his attention, before smiling triumphantly up at him (wow, you never realised how much taller he was than you until now).
“what is it, kim?” he drawled with an eye-roll.
“the bet. i won.” you gloated, the smile never leaving your face, widening instead when he wore a look of disbelief.
“oh, right.” he sighed before scratching the back of his head, looking around thoughtfully. “let’s sort it out tomorrow, at patrol.”
“okay! don’t back down from your end of the bet.” 
“i may hate you, but i’m not a sore loser. see you tomorrow night, kim.”
“with my monthly subscription payment!” you say, waving tauntingly as you ran back to your friends.
“what did you need to talk to him about?” minji asked, putting her hand out to hold yours as you four made your way to the slytherin dungeons.
“we’re making monthly plans to help a student who needs it,” you say smugly.
“sounds like you’re twisting the truth,” rei laughed.
“but it is the truth!” you protested.
you found yourself happily scrolling through the game's catalog, looking to spend your newly-bought robux.
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ever since your deal on the match, you found yourself slowly warming up to yang.
well, not to the point you’d consider each other friends, but you acknowledge each other in passing with a nod or quick wave instead of pointedly looking the other way like usual.
you also argued less, much to the relief of the entire school. however, they were still apprehensive, waiting for something to blow up eventually. it was simply too suspiciously calm and quiet without your voices yelling down the hall or in the corner of a classroom.
as the weeks went on, you two learned to get along better and better everyday, even willingly becoming partners in potions once.
sometimes, you would walk to the great hall together for lunch or dinner after a meeting. you even spent your free periods with yang, which you told your friends was because ‘they didn’t have any frees with you’ so you ‘might as well spend it productively’ with the head boy who coincidentally shared the same free periods schedule.
you did lots of stuff together, as expected of the head girl and head boy.
yet, you always avoided studying together.
others might think it’s because of your rivalry; how one might copy off the other’s or something.
sure, you laugh to yourself. let people think what they want.
but the idea of studying with yang again brings back memories of fifth year.
you didn’t tell anyone about it, not even your own friends. 
at the end of the year, you’d been practically glued to the library for two months, studying for your OWLs.
“mind if i sit here?” 
you turn up to see a familiar face.
“yang?”
“there’s no other free space in the library,” he rolled his eyes, making up an excuse.
looking around, you realised he was right. the only other free spots were next to students that were notoriously weirdos who everyone avoided. maybe he doesn’t want them to copy off his work, you think to yourself.
“um, okay,” you agreed hesitantly while sucking on a sugar quill, moving some of your books to make space for him. those sweets often helped you focus.
yang pulled the seat out and sat down, before beginning to study himself.
you tried to continue as you were, but had lost focus. not even the green apple-flavoured sweet in your mouth could help you concentrate.
you were hyper aware of his presence - the way he hunched over the table with his hair falling over his face. you watched him from the corner of your eye.
why had he chosen to sit with you? were there seriously no better places to go? what about his room? the astronomy tower? the little corner window by the potions classroom downstairs?
“relax. i can feel how tense you are from here.”
“does your oh-so-precious pure-wizard blood give you the ability to sense emotions like a dog?” you scoffed. he looked up sharply and gave you a serious look.
“i just want to revise for my OWLs; let’s keep our disputes outside the library, where we won’t get hexed by madame park over there.”
you rolled your eyes and kept your head down, going back to your own business.
over the course of the month, a routine slowly began wherein you would often study together in the library. 
sometimes it was you joining him instead, and you would just wordlessly take the seat opposite him. even when there were other spaces to sit, you two always chose to sit together in the corner table, hidden from the rest of the school.
a word was never spoken between the two top students. and you never told your friends about the little arrangement either.
his presence quickly became something of a comfort for you - it was easier to focus on your studies when he was there. and if you ever needed help with something, he’d give you a few pointers when you finally begrudgingly asked.
he never asked you for help though, which always reminded you why he was number 2. it infuriated you how you had to work twice as hard than him just to barely surpass the boy.
whenever you heard people talking of him in passing, he was always nicknamed ‘the prodigy boy’. what were you called? ‘the girl that was good for a muggle-born’.
he was your rival, but you weren’t his. and he’s made that clear since the day you met.
and yet, despite all the resentment you held for him, you enjoyed his company. OWLs were stressing the life out of everyone, but it felt like you could get through it with him sitting across you.
maybe it’s because he motivated you to keep working harder, to try more so you could widen the gap between your ranks. seeing him everyday reminded you of why you tried so hard. maybe you wanted to show him (and everyone else) that being muggle-born doesn’t mean you’re any less than those born in this world. 
at least that’s what you told yourself. 
but it doesn’t explain why you began to glance at his lips every time he sat across you. 
it doesn’t explain why butterflies began to flutter in your stomach when you felt the warmth of his body close to yours as he’d lean over your shoulder and point at the book when you asked for help. or why you felt giddy when you’d play with each other’s feet under the table.
until one day, he’d dropped his smart-quill on the floor, and you were quicker to kneel down from your seat to get it. 
“here,” you said, handing him the quill, still on your knees on the floor.
as you faced him, you realised the close proximity only then. 
you stared into his eyes that pulled you in, keeping you locked and unable to escape from his gaze. he stared right back, the quill forgotten in your hand, which now lay on his left knee.
you didn’t even realise the way he slowly leaned down until he cupped your cheek.
his touch was soft; you leaned into it. 
“is this okay?” you could barely hear him whisper over the rapid beating of your heart. all you could do was nod.
your eyes fluttered shut as your lips finally connected. a mix of pretty emotions burst in your stomach, filling you with a giddiness you never knew before.
it might have been just a few seconds, or it could have been hours - you didn’t know. that first kiss was everything you ever imagined it to be.
you pulled away first, finally running out of air. but he chased after your lips, kissing you again. 
the memory of your first kiss will forever be cemented in your memory. you were just two 16 year olds, softly holding onto each other in the corner of a library, hidden from the rest of the world.
you scrunch your nose at the bittersweet memory. who would’ve thought your first kiss would be with the person you hate the most in this world. 
when you returned to school for sixth year that september, yang acted like nothing happened between you two. 
he ignored you for the first month of school, not even bothering to taunt you like he used to. everyone had been stumped, including you, but he eventually went back to his usual tactics, albeit with a noticeable lack of ‘stupid muggleborn who can never be on our level’ comments. soon you two were back to your regular bickering as if he didn’t ignore your existence for the first month of school. 
as if you hadn’t shared a kiss just three months before.
now, your developing friendship scared you. you didn’t want a repeat of last time; his actions had really hurt you back then.  
you remember all the nights you spent in the library, waiting. waiting for him to come, to explain why he was acting like that. waiting for something.
thoughts ran through your mind, trying to reason why he might do this. maybe he realised he didn't feel for you the way you felt for him. maybe he went back to his room that night and wiped all the muggle germs off his face. maybe he realised he was too good for you.
you remember all the times you cried yourself to sleep, eyes puffy for weeks that even your teachers asked if you were okay. if maybe you’d eaten something bad or been cursed. that maybe you should go to the infirmary to fix it.
hiyyih, rei, and minji had no idea how to help you, because you refused to tell them what was wrong. 
and you never did. it’s simply too embarrassing. explaining that you kissed your number one enemy and then he ignored you for month and acted like nothing happened between you two was humiliating. you knew your friends wouldn’t, but surely if other students found out, they’d laugh at you.
yang probably laughed with his friends about it. you were just waiting, dreading to hear the rumours of how you’re a bad kisser and how no one should ever want your muggle-born, good-for-nothing ass. 
every time you walked past him and his friends, you’d walk faster and look everywhere but their direction. you imagined their snickers and smirks as they watched you run by like a pathetic loser.
the rumours never came however. 
no one ever looked at you weirdly, or laughed at you. you ended sixth year with a big sigh of relief, releasing a breath you didn't realise you'd been holding the whole year.
now, you found yourself standing next to the very boy who you had spent the end of your 5th year with, walking a big group of students towards hogsmeade.
you sigh as you think about your astronomy test on monday, which you’d rather spend the weekend studying for.
unfortunately, as the heads, it’s you and yang’s duty to chaperone the students on their trip to the village. 
you sigh and pull on your strap, hiking your heavy bag higher up your back. you think of the long day ahead, studying in the corner of one of the quieter cafés, freezing your toes off. it’s not preferable, but it’ll have to do.
yang watches you, eyeing your heavy bag of books.
“what the hell? don’t tell me you’re spending this trip studying.”
“alright, i won’t,” you roll your eyes at him as you two trudge behind the large crowd of students. it was 9 in the morning, and you were too tired to reply.
“wouldn’t you rather spend your time with your friends? you somehow have those,” he teased.
“well yeah,” you huff, a little irritated at his care-free attitude. “but not everyone can pass an astronomy test without needing to study like you. some of us actually have to work our butts off for good grades.”
yang stopped in his tracks, causing you to follow and look back at him questioningly.
to your surprise, he wore a serious expression, glaring forward and refusing to look at you. you must’ve struck a nerve.
“stop acting like you’re the only one in the world that has to fucking work hard,” he fumed. you’ve never seen him this mad, even in all your arguments throughout the years. 
“you’re always going on about how much you have to study this, how you need to work harder than me that - blah blah blah. 
“why do you always feel the need to undermine my work? always downplaying my accomplishments to ‘mere talent’. what about the tens of hundreds of hours i’ve poured into my own studies? the hours i’ve spent sat by a tutor since i was 6?”
surprised by his outburst in combination with your own irritation and jealousy, you couldn’t help but retort.
“are you serious right now? do you have to make everything about yourself?”
“oh because the world revolves around you? you are so fucking entitled!”
“me? entitled?” you laugh in disbelief. “you’re talking about how i undermine and downplay your work, when you’ve always been the one to yell out to the whole world how i’m a ‘stupid, pathetic muggleborn who’s lacking and can never fit in this world’!” students were beginning to notice your argument and were looking behind as they walked at you two now.
“so that’s what this is about? some shit i said two years ago?” he scoffed.
“some shit you threw at me for 5 years!” you throw your hands up in frustration.
“well maybe you’re proving me right with all your talk about just how much you need to study because you’ll 'never have it as easy as us'!” he yelled right back, mocking you. “you don’t know a thing about me.” 
you stared at him, panting heavily. everyone’s attention was now on you two, people watching instead of walking.
“kim y/n! yang jungwon!” you hear the booming voice of professor kim shout over the crowd. 
he stormed to you two, face red and veins popping out his neck.
“this behaviour is incredibly inappropriate of role model students! you two are supposed to be guiding the students towards the village, is that such a difficult task?” he scolded you and yang in exasperation.
“could you at least keep your feud behind closed doors? it’s incredibly selfish to ruin everyone’s day with your constant fights!”
you looked down ashamedly as your friends took this as their sign to finally drag you from your spot. jungwon’s friend, nishimura riki from 5th year copied their actions.
professor kim looked at the crowd which had now completely stopped to watch the show. 
“keep moving kids!” he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.  
“park gunwook,” he called. the gryffindor jogged towards the teacher. “pham hanni.” the hufflepuff followed. “you two will take over the role of chaperoning the students, since our head students are clearly unsuitable for the job,” he instructed, throwing you a dirty look. 
the two 6th year prefects nodded and began to walk behind everyone, feeling a little awkward at being put on the spot. 
you glared at yang one more time, but was met with a different expression instead.
yang met your stare with concern written on his face, as his tall friend dragged him away. it confused you; just a moment ago, he’d been furious with you, and now he looked worried? what was he worried about? what’s with the switch up?
you couldn’t ponder on it any longer, what with your own friends shuffling you away from the crime scene.
the rest of the day was spent tucked away in a little corner of a small café you found, one people didn’t go to as much.
the girls had tried to convince you to join them on their fun, but let you go when you told them you had star charts to memorise for your upcoming test. they seemed hesitant, but after witnessing your recent fight with the head boy, they reluctantly allowed you to go off on your own with promises of saving you a butterbeer.
you busied yourself with your books, not wanting to think about the weird events this morning. from your first disagreement in a while, to yang’s mood swing - it was better to spend your thoughts on what was more important.
eventually, you woke up in the late afternoon, only realising then that you had fallen asleep. the rays of light from the sunset seeped through the window, waking you up with its blinding brightness. 
how long had you fallen asleep? you could have been revising in the time you dozed off. astronomy was your weakest subject, so you really needed that precious time.
you groan in frustration, sighing as you sit up to straighten your back. but something falls off your shoulders as you do. 
you look behind you and realise it was a jacket, which had been left on your shoulders by someone. but who?
bewildered, you pick up the jacket (which had an oddly familiar scent to it) and turn back to your table of books. but before you can return to your studies, something catches your eye.
there, on top of a pile of textbooks, lay a green sugarquill. 
had my friends stopped by while i slept?
it didn’t particularly make sense though, since you agreed to meet up with them later tonight when you headed back to the castle. 
you picked it up, then noticed the note it had been sitting on.
sorry, i shouldn’t have said any of that earlier.  found you sleeping, don’t beat yourself up. you can do this. i remember sugarquills help you focus, right? don’t worry, it’s not poisoned or anything… goodluck on monday.
your heart squeezed painfully. his short message spoke volumes.
yang jungwon wasn’t one to apologise, seeing as he either never felt bad, or never really did anything wrong (in the eyes of everyone else).
you felt guilty too, seeing as it was your fault as well. you made a mental note to apologise to him in person later.
secondly, this was the first time he ever acknowledged the time you spent together in 5th year. it surprised you, because at this point you wondered if he had forgotten about it, or if it was all some sick dream you had.
heat rushed to your face and you had to put considerable effort into keeping your composure and not kick your feet and screaming right then and there. somehow, he’d remembered such a small detail about the sweet he left for you.
maybe the whole 5th year incident affected him more than he let on. maybe there really was something that happened between you guys.
or maybe you’re just being hopeful again. 
one thing you’re sure about though, is that yang jungwon is most certainly crazy.
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“welcome back everyone!” you greeted.
it’s the first prefect meeting of the term, everyone who left for the winter break having just returned two days prior.
“we have quite a bit to discuss today,” you started, before looking at jungwon to continue.
“let’s start with the more interesting news first.” he paused, looking at everyone before going on.
“me and the head girl have been planning something this winter, and with the approval of the headmaster, we can finally reveal it to you: the spring ball.”
you watched proudly as the prefects began whispering amongst themselves excitedly. you were so hyped up to be able to plan and make the event come to life.
“we wanted to give the students something more exciting to look forward to. you know- before OWLs and NEWTs completely take over our lives,” you joke, pulling chuckles out of everyone in the room.
“the idea is a formal, floral-themed event that’ll take place in the great hall. it’s only for 5th years and up, but younger years may attend if invited as a date.”
“since you guys are prefects, we’re asking for your help setting up the event. let’s talk ideas for decoration,” you say, pulling out your tablet to take notes.
as you wrote down the prefects’ thoughts and input, you were already drafting a schedule in your mind for preparations. that was until, you felt someone lean over your shoulder.
forcing yourself to keep writing, you tried to ignore the way your shoulder brushed against yang’s chest. one hand holding onto the backrest of your chair whilst the other lay on the table, next to your arm as you wrote on autopilot, your mind circuiting at the proximity. straightening your back in an attempt to compose yourself, you only push yourself against the boy more.
you were sure your face was as red as a tomato. your heart was beating so hard you were scared jungwon could hear it.
judging by the way he huffed in amusement, he probably realised the effect he had on you. 
“focus, kim,” he whispered so only you could hear, leaning lower to your level. you could imagine the smirk on his face.
“i am,” you tried to say with as much nonchalance as you could.
honestly, the moment was really reminding you of all those times he’d helped in the library. deja vu was really hitting you hard right now.
the rest of the meeting went smoothly - at least, as smooth as it could be with yang constantly flustering you as he subtly kept grazing your skin. 
now that you think about it, jungwon’s been acting strange lately. more… bold? that’s the best way you could explain it.
you don’t know how it happened, but ever since the hogsmeade trip, you two got closer. after you apologised to him, the incident in question was never spoken of again, never referred to. but it’s clear something shifted in your relationship with the head boy.
gradually, he began to fill up your everyday life, seeing him more often in the day than you used to.
in the mornings, you’d bump into each other in the common room after getting ready, and go down to the great hall for breakfast together. or, if one of you seemed to be running late after breakfast, you’d make sure to save some food and leave it in the common room for the other.
in the day, you two shared free periods, and so spent it lounging in the common room, simply doing work at the coffee table or reading a book on the couch. music would play in the background as you two sat in comfortable silence, basking in each other’s company.
in the evenings, you might come back from a late class to find him napping on the couch. so you’d shake him awake with a “jungwon, let’s go get dinner.”
you could be studying in the library corner of your shared living space, and he’d always remind you to eat. even when it was past any meal time, he’d drag you off the chair for a trip to the kitchens, where he’d get a house elf to make you two a snack. he often asked for eclairs, noticing it was your favourite.
but yang jungwon didn’t just take up your daily activities, he was always on your mind too.
thoughts of how he wouldn’t like the cold dim lights of the slytherin common room, or seeing students that he’s told you he isn’t particularly fond of floated in your mind when you visited your friends.
you even found yourself comparing him to characters in whatever series you absorbed yourself in. you seriously couldn’t stop thinking about him.
the fights stopped completely, but you two continued your flirting friendly banter all the time.
once, you managed to find time in your busy schedule to sit down and watch barbie movies. jungwon (when did you even start calling him that?) had walked in to the common room to find his bag which he had left there, only to see you huddled up in a blanket while watching barbie as the island princess magically projected onto the wall.
“what’s this?” he’d asked.
“muggle movies from my childhood. this girl here grew up on the island when one day, she was found by a prince who was intrigued by her, and brought her back to the city, where she finally learns who she really is,” you explained while keeping your eyes trained on the projection.
“and who is she really?”
“why don’t you sit down and watch, kitty?” you’d always called him by that nickname during your petty fights, since his face reminded you of a cute cat. now though, it became more of an endearing nickname for the boy.
“i have to write 10 inches on the use of the lumos solem spell by tuesday.”
“that’s 5 days away! come on, don’t you wanna know? it’s really good, i promise. we can watch from the start, and i’ll help you with that charms essay, since professor song assigned it to us to, and i already got started on it,” you asked, twisting to face him with the best pleading look you could muster.
“fine, but only because you begged," he relented with a playful smile.
so that’s how you ended up binging barbie movies into the wee hours of the morning, sharing a blanket with your proclaimed enemy on the sofa.
“you honestly look more like serafina,” you tease him.
“what? but she’s a girl! wouldn’t wolfie be a better fit?”
“but serafina has more cat-like eyes! you guys have similar eyes.”
“are you serious right now? they’re both cats!” he gestures to the movie, paused at the last scene.
“but you really look like her!” you insist, using both hands to point at each corner of his eyes, shifting closer to him. “they’re upturned.”
“didn’t realise you knew that about me, babe.” he wrapped his own hands around your wrists, as they hovered above his face. “if i’m serafina, you must be wolfie.”
“why? because we’re partners in crime?” you snorted at his suggestion. “they get married at the end and have a bunch of little kitties too. you want that?”
“if that’s what you’d like,” he shrugged, his lips pulling into a downwards smile.
you stared at him incredulously, heartbeat suddenly pounding as you looked into the growing smug look on his face. his eyes that managed to shine even in the dark never failed to root you on the spot, unable to look away.
what were you feeling? you've looked at jungwon so many times over the past 5 years, but the boy's gaze never made you feel like this way before. like you were floating on air; like you could do anything with him by your side, looking at you like that.
in fact, thinking back to all your years of knowing him, it's funny how much things have changed in the past several months.
you actually giggle a bit, sitting back, further from his warmth. you immediately miss the soft touch of his fingers around your wrists.
"what are you laughing about?" he asks, but he's laughing too.
"you. me; us."
"are we comedians now or something?"
"no, but we're definitely clowns of the circus." jungwon grinned at your statement, an amused huff escaping his lips.
"penny for your thoughts?"
"i was just thinking... how did we go from having wars in the middle of DADA in 3rd year, to watching muggle barbie movies at 2am on a saturday?" you think out loud.
"when you put it like that... we do sound like the comedy act of a show," he admits, scratching the back of his neck.
"at least i do."
"what do you mean?" you ask, shifting your position on the couch to sit up. you move your cold feet so they rest between jungwon's ankles, soaking in their warmth.
"our little feud - you know, the fights, the hexes, all that. it was all because of me."
"what? no it wasn't - i instigated a lot of them too," you say, trying to reassure him. was he feeling guilty and blaming himself?
"but, it was! honestly, if it wasn't for my stupid shallow thinking, we might've been friends way earlier." you looked at him patiently, nodding for him to continue.
"i used to think that muggle-borns were stupid and would fall behind in everything - school, work, just because you had no idea of how our world worked. honestly, i pitied and felt sorry for you guys, because i thought you could never be on our level. i know now how ignorant i was, obviously," he scoffed at himself.
"so when i met you, i thought you were an idiot. you are, don't get me wrong-" he teased you, causing you to roll your eyes, although smiling lightly. "but even though you're muggle-born, you always managed to do better than me.
"you were constantly the best student in our year- no, our school. you were faster at understanding concepts than i was, immediately getting things right on the first try. hell, even when i would go flying on the pitch to relieve my stress and then got recruited into the ravenclaw team in third year, i finally thought i was better than you at something. and then you joined your team in 4th, and was called the 'ace' of slytherin. what a blow all of that to was to my ego."
"i joined the team to annoy you," you shyly admit. "but why did you even think that in the first place?" you asked, not angry. you wanted to hear him out and finally get answers to questions you've asked yourself for so many years. you wanted to understand, and know the boy in front of you.
"well, you know that my father's company is successful. so growing up, i was given the best. my parents hired the best tutors for me, so i'd be ahead of everyone else when i started hogwarts. my teachers said i was their best student, my parents showed me off to their friends as their 'pride and joy' or something dumb like that. other parents compared their kids to me, i was that kid.
"i knew i was privileged though - that i had money and could afford to have this good education. so i made the best of it and constantly told myself that others would be lucky to have my life, so i wanted to prove i was worthy of it by working hard and pushing myself all my life.
"but with that, i developed the mindset that people who don't have money like i do can't have as much knowledge as me since they don't have access to it - and that included muggle-borns. you had zero knowledge of this world, which works incredibly different to yours. we have different moral compasses; notions of common sense; understanding of how things worked.
"so imagine how surprised i was to find that you were doing better than me in school. me, who had sat beside a tutor since i was 6, who was learning OWL content at 12. all this only for a girl who didn't even know magic existed until a month before to top me in school.
"that's why i was always angry; i was angry with my tutors for not teaching me better; at you for being better. but most especially at myself. for deluding myself into thinking that way." you two were silent for a moment.
"what changed?" you asked.
jungwon breathed in, preparing himself.
"5th year. i was finally learning to respect you, so when i walked into the library that was full of students, you seemed like the best option to sit next to."
"really? still hadn't gotten over that 'i'm better than everyone blah blah blah' attitude?" you asked, smugly tilting your head to the side.
"shush," he hid his face. "but... i got to learn how hard you really worked back then. i used to think you just had some gift for learning. but watching you with your head down for hours, i felt like i was discrediting all that with something like 'innate talent'.
"i went back home that summer confused and having a mid-life crisis at 16. my dad talked to me though, knocked some sense into me.
"he said that just because muggles don't know magic, doesn't mean they can't do anything. i mean, the whole idea of smart devices that our company is literally known for was taken from muggles! without you guys, we wouldn't have that in our world either. you created it, we just used magic to expand it.
"i was pretty shaken up after that, and was in a daze when 6th year started. it took me a while to sort my thoughts out and gather myself."
it was silent for a while, now nearing 3am.
jungwon just spilled out his guts to you, in the dim atmosphere of your common room. now you were the one collecting your thoughts.
"i'm sorry too."
"what? you never did anyth-"
"but i basically did the same thing as you. you studied for years and years, and i just always thought you were also naturally smart; that you never needed to study like i did because you already knew it all."
silence enveloped the two of you once again.
"...so i guess we're more similar than we thought, huh?" he smiled softly at you. you felt like you were floating again.
"i guess so."
jungwon unfolded his legs and opened his arms out as a gesture, which you gladly accepted and fell into his embrace.
"so, are we good now?" you asked.
"hmm, i still feel like you owe me something for all those years of endless anger and feeling like shit."
"you mean for enlightening you that we stupid muggles aren't so stupid?" you asked, face still buried in his chest, your voice muffled against his sweatshirt. "shouldn't you owe me? for teaching you a lesson?"
"but i want something," he pouted, pulling on your wrist.
"what is it? as long as its affordable."
"is going to the spring ball with me affordable?"
you turn your head to look up at him, who's looking down at you with shy eyes, waiting for your answer.
"i don't know... how much does it cost?" you play along. you already know your answer anyway.
"it'll cost you about..." he pulled out the calculator app on his phone, pretending to add up a total. "one kiss."
you laughed at him, finally pulling away from his arms.
"was that at the end of 5th year not enough?"
"no," he pouted, eyebrows knitted. so cute, you thought.
"alright then, but is it okay if i pay you that hefty price later at the ball?" jungwon sighed dramatically, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.
"i guess... but the price might increase to 10."
"that's okay, i'll give you as many as you want, as long as the first one is special."
"i didn't know you were sentimental like that," he smirked at you, kissing your cheek. you shrugged nonchalantly, smiling at him.
"i didn't know you were so needy for kisses like that."
"touché," he laughed, dragging you in for another hug, cuddling you until you both fell asleep in each other's arms.
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since that night, you and jungwon gradually learned to be comfortable each other. and with the ball preparations, there was lots of opportunities to do so.
you realised that - without the hostility between you two, it was much easier to find compromises when you disagreed on something. jungwon did things differently from you, but listened to your thoughts and offered his too.
as the weeks went on, you found yourself looking forward to meetings with him, missing his presence when he wasn’t with you.
something in the way he’d nudge you lightly when you were worried about something, wrap his arm around you and squeeze your shoulder, or simply smile at you brightly with those cat-like eyes of his - they were all comforting.
the change in atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by your friends either.
"what was that??" rei interrogated you when jungwon pulled you aside for the nth time this week.
"oh, he just wanted to talk about putting up decor later," you answer nonchalantly, taking a bite out of your toast.
"he has the same conversation with you practically every day," minji rolled her eyes.
"yeah, and i'm more surprised that you don't come ranting to us about every interaction you two have," hiyyih agrees, eyeing you suspiciously.
"well, i just grew up and matured," you try to defend yourself.
"if growing up and maturing means developing a crush, then yeah. you sure did." rei pauses before continuing. "is there something you aren't telling us?"
technically, yes. you weren't telling them about the development between you and jungwon - at least not yet. but you didn't exactly have a crush on the boy, in the sense that it was a one-sided thing and you were too shy to confess. but you didn't really want to tell them what was going on between you two, because you didn't know yourself.
were you and jungwon friends(-ish)? yes. but were you dating? no, definitely not. there's no doubt though that your strange, blurry, undefined relationship will develop soon enough, and you'd rather wait until everything's clear before telling your friends.
"she's not saying anything - something is definitely up!" hiyyih gasped excitedly, causing rei and minji to giggle, and you to shake your head.
you had noticed that jungwon seemed to always find reasons to talk to you, even if it's little things you've already discussed before, or silly simple questions like 'how's your day going?' or 'what barbie movie are we watching tonight?'
yeah, you two often found yourselves watching barbie movies late into a friday night.
you also ended up cuddling on the couch almost every evening after a long day of duties, particularly on patrol nights. after your rounds, you two would head back up to the head dormitories, where you'd flop onto the couch, and he'd jump onto you soon after.
the others would go crazy if they ever found out, you laugh to yourself.
the next day would be the night of the ball, so you were pretty wrapped up in helping out throughout the day.
"everything's set up," haerin, a 5th year gryffindor prefect told you.
"it looks really good," you tell her, looking at the great hall. it looked great now, and you were excited for how it would turn out in the dark of the night later.
"did you manage to complete the spell?" she asked curiously.
"i did, but i'm only 89.7% sure it'll work," you say, biting your lip. you hated not being completely sure about something, like an answer, or in this case - a self-made spell.
you turn when you hear a laugh behind you.
"i like how you have a specific percentage even when it comes to feelings," jungwon says through a grin. "your brain works weirdly"
"whatever, kitty," you roll your eyes light heartedly at him.
facing the great hall again, you take a deep breath as you cast the spell on the great hall, chanting the incantation as you wave your wand.
in a moment, the hall was filled with falling petals of different colours, though they didn't litter the ground messily, simply disappearing when they reached the ground. vines reached out from between the tiled floor, wrapping around table legs and growing bright vibrant flowers of their own. small orbs of light flickered throughout the ceiling, like fairies illuminating the scene.
"wow, it looks amazing, y/n!" one of the professors helping around praised.
"it really does," jungwon says, snaking his arm around your waist, his hand clinging onto your side snuggly.
"thank you," you mumble, as you both look up at the pretty scene in front of you.
soon, night falls and you're running down the staircase with your friends, holding up the ends of your dress to avoid stepping on it.
"careful y/n! or you might trip!" you hear hiyyih call out from behind you.
"she's just excited to see her prince charming," minji laughs, but the three of them are also running, holding up their own dresses.
the doors of the great hall open, revealing the breathtakingly decorated room, some guests already having arrived at the scene.
"wow, this is amazing..." rei gasped, enchanted by the way coloured lights perfectly illuminate the hanging wisteria flowers, and butterflies fluttering throughout the room.
"you seriously outdid yourself. how did you even do this?" hiyyih asked.
"only y/n could make a spell as complicated as this," jungwon's voice says, announcing his presence. "you look good, by the way," he adds when you look at him.
a quick one-over of his look tonight does not do him justice. so you find yourself staring unashamedly at his figure.
the way his waistcoat hugs his figure emphasises his broad shoulders, something you didn't even realise you found attractive until you saw it on him. a red tie lazily tucked into the waistcoat plus the rolled-up sleeves - it all made your mind go haywire.
"you would know, having been subjected to all the spells she's made over the years," hiyyih laughs at the memory.
"didn't know you spent so much time thinking about me, kim," he goaded.
"oh trust me, she def-" you cut rei off by covering her mouth with your gloved hand.
"thanks, jungwon," you say quickly, giving him a smile and pushing your friends away.
"he was flirting with you!" rei loudly whispers into your ear.
"and what do you want me to do about it!" you say, making sure your friends couldn't see the deep blush on your face.
"flirt back!" minji huffs out exasperatedly. "i'm sick and tired of whatever has been going on between you two for years!"
"yes, please just end it tonight! whether you get together or never talk about it again," rei rolls her eyes.
"what?" you stop, looking at them.
"rei's right, although i'd prefer for you to finally get together."
"wait wait wait, what do you mean?"
"are you being for real right now? you two have clearly had a thing for each other this whole time!" rei says like it was obvious. "we've known it for years."
"go get your man!" hiyyih sighs, turning you by your shoulders and pushing you away this time.
you try not to dwell on the thought of your friends betting on your relationship with jungwon, and pretend you never heard a word come out of their mouths.
soon, the headmaster calls for everyone's attention.
"welcome students!" his voice echoes throughout the hall, the music quietening for his speech. "first and foremost, i want to thank this year's head girl and boy for organising such an event for us. give it up for kim y/n and yang jungwon!" he shouts, a spot light highlighting your two figures in the room. you quickly turn to look at jungwon, who looks back at you with a smile, as everyone claps loudly, some even whistling supportively.
"and with that, may the spring ball begin - with the spring dance, kicking off with the head boy and girl leading the first dance," professor si-hyuk ends his speech.
everyone cheers and makes way for you two on the dance floor, which magically raises up in the middle of the hall.
music begins to play as you face the head boy, who inches closer to you every second.
time slows as he places his hand on your hips, guiding your hand to his shoulders. all other noise is drowned out by the sound of your heart, pounding so hard it might come out your chest. you don't see anyone but yang jungwon.
and he's looking at you like he sees no one else but you either.
it's crazy, how you're here, dancing, in the arms of the person who you've hated since 1st year - who motivated you to work hard during all these years.
you think back to your first meeting with him.
you could imagine the sparkles in your eyes as you stare at everything in awe, still in disbelief.
last month, a weirdly-dressed person knocked at your front door, and told your parents that you were a witch.
of course, you hadn't believed her at first, until she pointed her wand at a decorative figurine and made it float upside down. you and your family had been absolutely floored and confused. how could something like that even happen?
last month, the weirdly-dressed lady described to you a world that sounded fictional, of magic and creatures you could never even imagine. she explained why you had all these weird happenings growing up, things that were simply unexplainable.
your world was turned upside down in a few moments, and now you were here, on a train, to a magical school.
of course, you were incredibly sad to be away from your family for the first time in your life, but you were assured that you still had many ways to connect with them. and so, you set off into a new world completely alone, but with a lot of excitement.
you walked around the compartments as the train set off, peering and saying hi to other students.
until, you bumped into a boy who had the prettiest eyes you've ever seen, and the cutest little dimple that had 11-year old you's heart melting.
"be careful and look where you're going," he says nonchalantly.
"i'm so sorry! i was just so excited - i mean, aren't you? could you ever believe magic exists? i won't until i try it for myself!" you ramble enthusiastically.
you trail off when you see him looking at you with a mix of pity and boredom.
"oh, so you're a muggle-born, huh?"
"what do you mean?" you ask confusedly.
"well, whatever you think, i'm not like you. i already know what you just learned, and i already know what you still have to learn," he shrugs, picking at his nails like he ha better things to do than talk to you. "sorry, i think you're going to struggle a little bit here," he simply says, and leaves you alone in the middle of the train corridor.
what the hell? you ask yourself.
snobby rich kids isn't something you thought you'd experience in the wizarding world, but i guess somethings are just universal, huh?
something about the way he looked at you; talked to you like you were below him though - it bugged you.
"i'm gonna struggle?" you ask yourself in disbelief. absolutely not, you didn't want him to be right. you'll make sure of it.
and so, you ran back to your own compartment and pulled out your books, making a resolution to study everything and make sure you knew all the content. you wanted to show whoever that kid is that he's wrong, that you're better than him.
and so, the rest of the long ride and even your first night was spent catching up on what you missed out on, making sure you were prepared for whatever this extraordinary world would throw at you.
and most especially, preparing for whatever trouble the boy, who's name you learned was yang jungwon would give you.
gradually, more people join the dance, but you're so entranced by the boy in your arms, you don't notice how he's whisked you away from the main dance floor.
now towards the side of the room, away from all attention, jungwon looks down at you with all the love in his eyes.
it's overwhelming, you can't escape your emotions anymore. you like jungwon, possibly even more. you feel like all these feelings are about to burst out of you, and jungwon's arms are the only thing keeping you together.
"y/n, i think you still owe me something," he whispered, his face dangerously close to yours.
"and what would that be?" you naturally retort, having developed the instinct to talk back when it came to him.
"don't play with me, please let me kiss you."
"i don't think so." you pause teasingly, trying not to giggle at his pout, his dimple coming out. "let me kiss you," you say, finally leaning in, sealing your lips.
it felt just like the one back in 5th year, but better. jungwon held you impossibly closer by the waist, as if fearing you would run away. but you won't, and you never will. because in his arms, you never felt as safe and comfortable in your own skin as you did then.
you finally part for air, but jungwon's eyes never strayed from your face.
"i lied earlier by the way, when i said you looked good." you raise your eyebrows at him questioningly, before he smiles cheekily at you. "you look like the stars that put me to sleep every night."
"i didn't know you were poetic like that," you laughed lightly, leaning your forehead on his chest. "you look like my boyfriend."
"that's because i am," he says pulling you in for another kiss.
you don't think you'll ever get tired of kissing him. it's an unforgettable moment, and an unforgettable night.
you never knew you were missing something until you met jungwon, and you think you can finally breathe with him next to you (and your friends passing riki 20 galleons each two tables away). 
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; author's corner! hii this was inspired by all the jily fics i've read over the years (whew i didn't even realise how long i've been reading fanfiction...) LMAO anyways may irls never find out this acc belongs to me bc my realistic self barfed at what i just wrote but my delulu self was kicking and giggling while editing but i hope you enjoyed!
; taglist @wonuslust @enhacatalog @makiswrld @forjungwons @yebin14 @lovelovelovebts @amanda-archives @beomgyusonlywife @bbinwrld@em-asian @enhamysunshines @ahnneyong @jungwonscafe bold couldn't be tagged!
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amidnightjen · 1 year
Text
In a blink there’s a mace in his hands and Merlin is stood before him, young confused and flinching away.
Arthur freezes, frowns, and then lowers the mace while giving Merlin a confused look. “Merlin,” he says slowly, a warning in his tone that an explanation better be imminent.
But the Merlin standing before him frowns, not least of all at the familiarity in Arthur’s tone but over the fact that Arthur is no longer trying to squash him like a bug with the mace he’s wielding. Arthur looks around. He takes a good long look around him and sighs.
This might be his own fault, but either way…
He grabs Merlin by the arm, ignores the way he starts to immediately squirm to get free and, ignoring everyone in the town around them, marches Merlin to the only place he knows is safe right now - Gaius’ chambers. Merlin complains the whole way but he does so in the same blithe manner he’d done before he knew Arthur and really had things to complain about (Arthur can be self-aware when the occasion calls for it).
Gaius rises when Arthur marches Merlin inside and offers a hesitant, “Sire?”
Arthur makes sure to shut the door before he finally lets go of Merlin. “I’m willing to accept this may partially have been my fault,” Arthur says, which is a very big concession and he’s annoyed that this is happening where - when? - no one is around to acknowledge it. “But Merlin, please tell me you can reverse this?”
“Reverse what?” He asks.
Arthur pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a moment to breathe. “This morning,” he says slowly, like he’s talking to an idiot (he is - at least right now), “I made the mistake of remarking that I wondered what my life would be like if I’d known about your magic from the beginning.”
Merlin makes a choked sound but Arthur isn’t done.
“And now I find myself at the beginning of our relationship. Care to explain?”
Merlin, Arthur could tell, did not.
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lovelyjj · 5 months
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hey there! I was wondering if you could do one where reader is John B's sister and he knows that JJ and her have a thing for each other but he won't allow it. Then something happens where she needs comforted and JJ gets to her first and John B realizes that JJ does really love her..? or something idk 😍💕
John B’s Sister
jj maybank x reader
wc: 2.6k
*some bits of dialogue is from season 1: episode 1*
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The music was blasting. The party was in full swing at the boneyard. You were at the center dancing your heart out. JJ was watching you longingly. John B was right next to him overseeing JJ’s actions.
“Don’t even think about it,” John B warned.
“Think about what?” JJ questioned.
“Dancing with Y/N.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it mate,” JJ retorted.
“Right.”
“I’m gonna get another drink,” JJ shared.
When JJ went to the drink area he ran into you. You were getting yourself a drink and taking a break from dancing. You were all sweaty but JJ thought you looked ethereal.
“Here let me,” JJ filled your cup up with beer and handed it to you. Your fingers brushed against each other’s when he handed you the cup. You felt sparks shoot through you at the contact.
“Thanks,” you smiled.
“You look really pretty,” JJ commented.
“You think so?”
“Yeah I do,” JJ smiled.
“Thank you.”
“I’d ask you to dance but John B would have a cow,” JJ laughed.
“Aw screw him!” you voiced.
“Are we really gonna let John B become between us?” JJ spoke.
“He’s my brother JJ, and I love him. He’s just trying to look out for me. I don’t want to make him mad,” you stated.
“Well he probably doesn’t like the idea of me with you, given my reputation.”
“Probably not.”
“I’d do anything for you I hope you know that. Your worth all this chaos, so damn worth it.” JJ spoke sincerely.
“You’ll wait for me?” you asked.
“Of course i’ll wait for you, I’d wait a hundred years just to see you smile, let alone date you.”
“I promise one day we will be together.” You smiled sadly.
“Can’t wait,” JJ then kissed you on the cheek.
You both got swept up in the party and went different directions. JJ went to where John B was and he soon began to think that was a bad idea.
“I saw you talking to y/n. You know she’s off limits right.” John B began.
“Jesus dude, I know you think I’m trying to get in her pants but I really do love her. Of course i’m not gonna act on it. I know the rules and I wouldn’t do that to you,” JJ confessed.
John B clapped JJ on the back, “Good on ya mate, I appreciate it.”
“Yeah yeah yeah.”
The party eventually died down around 2am. It was dark and the keg was practically empty. You retired pretty late and crashed in your room. Unbeknownst to you JJ was also crashing at your place.
When you woke up the next morning you could feel the hangover. You made your way to the kitchen for an Advil and some water. You didn’t expect to see JJ sitting on the couch.
“Good morning,” JJ spoke.
“Morning, my head is pounding,” you acknowledged.
“I’m sorry wish I could help.” JJ responded.
“It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah but I could of told you to take it easy on the drinks.” JJ countered.
You laughed. You weren’t sure if you would’ve listened to him if he told you that, but he didn’t need to know that.
“It’s ok things happen.”
“Do you want to hang out with me?” JJ asked.
“Um yeah sure I have to go to the grocery store at one point but other than that Im free,” You explained.
“Alright let’s go.”
The grocery store wasn’t that busy and you were thankful it wasn’t.
“What do you need?” JJ questioned.
“Well, I need cereal, butter, fruit, bread, cheese, chicken, and beer.”
“That’s not too bad we should be in and out of here pretty quick,” JJ responded.
The two of you went up and down each and every aisle. You used teamwork to complete the list.
“Just think one day when we live together we will do our grocery shopping together for our apartment,” JJ said excitedly.
“Yeah that would be fun.”
JJ put his hands on your waist to scoot behind you and reach something on the top shelf. You felt dizzy from the proximity and the feeling of his hands on you.
JJ put the item in your cart and continued looking for more.
“Hey after this do you want to hit the beach?” you asked him.
“Yeah sounds good.”
Eventually you finished up at the store and got everything you needed. You went to the château to change and out the groceries away. Then you were off to the beach.
When you arrived you decided to lay out your towels and lay on the sand. It was nice to hang out just the two of you. John B was probably off with Sarah and therefore not supervising you and JJ.
“This is nice,” JJ voiced.
“Yeah it is,” you laid your head on his shoulder. JJ’s arm came up to wrap around your waist to pull you closer.
The two of you talked for hours on the beach enjoying each other’s company.
————————
A few weeks later you were out on the boat. It was a nice day for boating. You and the pogues were out on the marsh exploring the sunken boat.
The salty air flowed through your hair as you sat in your bikini top and shorts. The smell of the ocean brought you a sense of peace, being out on the water was therapeutic.
Of course you were interested in the shipwreck but you loved being on the water. John B went to dive under using the scuba gear from Ward. Then the cops came while he was still down there.
Once they finally left we were all anxious about John B. Was he ok? He ran out of air that’s for sure. Thankfully John B emerged from the water and seemed to be alright.
“There his is!” JJ exclaimed.
“Oh, God! Jesus Christ!”
“Thank god,” you breathed.
“Don’t scare us like that!” Pope said.
“How’d it go down there?” JJ asked.
John B put up the ok sign.
“Did you find anything?” JJ questioned.
“Did I find anything?” John B breathed.
He brought up a black duffel bag.
“Yeah, there we go! That’s my boy!” JJ excitedly called out.
“Jeez dude!” Pope gasped.
“You okay?” Kie voiced her concern.
“Yeah, I ran out of air,” John B panted.
“You sacred the shit out me.” Kiara expressed.
“Yeah same here,” you stated.
“Yeah, the cops were up here, but, uh… took care of ‘em.” Pope went on.
“My Bad.” John B announced.
“You’re all good.” Pope replied.
“Yeah, you kinda missed the show, brother.” JJ stepped in to say.
“Hey guys? Guys, bogey, two o’clock.” Kiara announced.
“What?” JJ spoke.
“Do you recognize that boat?” Pope asked.
“I’ve never seen it,” Kiara responded.
“What are they doing here? The marsh is closed,” Kiara went on.
“I don’t know but let’s not stick around and find out.” JJ suggested.
“I think their coming right for us.” You voiced your opinion.
“JJ get the bowline.” John B ordered.
“Yeah.”
“Should we wait on ‘em?” Pope offered.
“No, we’re not.” Your brother spoke.
“Go get the stern. Go!” John B ordered.
“Are you joking? JJ, hurry up.” Kiara hissed.
“Guys, don’t wait for me. Go.” JJ said urgently.
Kiara requested, “Let’s go!”
“Pull out the stern.” Pope warned.
“I don’t like the look of this,” John B put out.
“I don’t either,” you spoke.
“Maybe they’re fishing,” Pope suggested.
“Go, go, go, go!” JJ ordered.
“Go into the marsh,” Pope said.
“Hey, guys, they’re following us.” Kiara shared.
“This can’t be good,” Pope voiced.
“Shit!” John B exclaimed.
“Oh no,” you shouted.
“Dude, you gotta go faster!” JJ put out.
“I’m going.”
As the boat with the two big men on it chased you and the pogues further into the marsh, you looked behind you realizing that they were getting closer.
“John B,” you cried.
“I know Y/N.”
Then to your surprise you herd gunshots.
“What the…” Pope began.
“Holy shit!” Kiara cursed.
“John B, get down,” JJ yelled.
They continue shooting at you guys.
“Oh my god we’re gonna die!” Pope shouted.
“Y/N! Get down” John B called.
You were starting to have a panic attack and you didn’t know what to do. You were trying to stay down but we’re having trouble catching your breath. You must of not been hidden enough because you felt a sharp pain in your gut near your hip.
You looked down and saw crimson blood painting the area. Now this is where you really started to panic. Everyone was cheering because Kiara threw out a net to stop the boat and it worked. They couldn’t move, they were stuck and they were no longer right behind you. They did however fired one last shot.
Your heart was pounding and you were shaking. You were full on panicking. Your chest felt tight and you could feel yourself getting dizzy.
Everyone was still cheering when you whispered, “I’ve been shot.”
“What did you say?” JJ questioned.
“I’m shot.”
“Holy fuck.” JJ roared.
“JJ,” you called for him reaching out you hand. Your breathing was ragged. The scene before you was starting to blur.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.” JJ blubbered. JJ was shocked he didn’t know what to do but he did know that his girl was in distress. He needed to be there for you.
He took your hand in his hand and cradled your head. “Breathe baby, I’m right here.”
John B who was watching the interaction intensely, took off his bandana and gave it to JJ. He was at a loss for words.
JJ took the bandana and placed it over the wound, and applied pressure. You let out a whimper.
“We got to stop the bleeding.” JJ said urgently.
“Pope take us to the hospital,” John B ordered as he let Pope get behind the wheel.
Pope did his best to smoothly get to shore.
JJ pulled you into his lap and put his hands over your hands to press the bandana on the wound.
“JJ i’m pan- panicking,” you mumbled.
“I know baby I know, I’ve gotchu.”
“Your gonna be ok. I know you are you have to be.” JJ went on.
JJ started stroking your hair with the one hand that wasn’t pressed to your side. He kissed the top of your head and whispered reassuring words.
John B started to call and ambulance for when you get to shore. “I need an ambulance for my sister, she’s been shot, if you can meet us at the dock.”
John B was watching how JJ was comforting you. He was being to gentle and caring. It looked like he was doing a good job at calming you down.
Eventually you got to shore and the ambulance was waiting. JJ and John B were on ether side of you helping you walk. You however seemed to hang off of them as you leaned on them for support.
“I can’t have all of you back here in the ambulance,” the EMT said.
“I want JJ with me,” you croaked out.
“We will meet you guys at the hospital,” Pope announced, him and kiara walking off to get to Kiara’s car.
John B and JJ hopped in the back of the ambulance as you got on the stretcher. The ride to the hospital was bumpy and your were screaming in pain.
JJ held you hand the whole ride to the hospital. You would squeeze his hand occasionally. John B watched how you stared at JJ like you needed him.
Once you finally arrived they rushed you into the hospital. the EMT spoke, “We got a female with a gunshot wound to the gut.”
“She needs to be in surgery right away,” one of the doctors called out.
As they wheeled you away, JJ and John B waited in the waiting room with their nerves at an all time high.
Pope and Kiara arrived and waited in the waiting room as well. John B was pacing back and forth. JJ sat in one of the chairs with his head lowered and his hat in his hands.
John B went to speak with JJ. “Do you think she’s gonna be ok?” he asked.
“Yeah she’s a fighter,” JJ replied whipping his eyes.
“You really love her don’t you?” John B asked.
“Yeah, I do,” JJ responded.
“I can see that now. I want to give you my blessing.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I can see that you both love one another more than anything.” John B shared.
“Thanks man I appreciate that,” JJ took hold of John B’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
JJ was on the edge of his seat he was worried for you. He didn’t know what he would do if something happened to you. You were the light of his whole life.
After what felt like a eternity, a doctor came out and calmly spoke, “The surgery went well she’s resting now. She needs to stay overnight for observation but she can take visitors but only one at a time.”
“Go ahead,” JJ nodded towards John B.
John B entered your hospital room to be met with your eyes closed. You woke up when you herd the sound of feet shuffling.
“Hi Bree Bree,” you spoke softly.
“Hey y/n/n, how you feeling.”
“Better,” you smiled.
“I’m glad.”
“Can you tell me when you fell in love with JJ?” John B questioned.
“How did you-“ you were shocked.
“Oh please, I can see it in your face when your around him and the “I want JJ with me.”
“Well it started out as a little schoolgirl crush and then I just fell for him and it consumed me.”
John B debated if he should tell you he gave the two of you the green light but figured JJ should do it. So instead he gave you a smile.
“I’m glad your ok y/n/n.”
“I’ll send JJ in.” John B finished the conversation.
“Bye Bree Bree.”
After a few moments JJ came strolling in. He was happy because he now could be with you. But of course he was worried about you and your recovery.
“My poor baby, how you feeling?” JJ cooed.
“I’m doing ok,” you responded.
“I’m so thankful you didn’t get shot in the heart or the head.” JJ breathed.
“Yeah I guess i’m lucky, it could of been a lot worse.”
“I have something to tell you, scooch over.” JJ got in bed beside you.
“What is it?”
“Your brother gave us his blessing!” JJ exclaimed.
“Are you serious?!” You looked at him in disbelief.
JJ nodded his head, and you squealed and wrapped your arms around his neck in a hug.
“Careful love,” JJ spoke cautious of your movements.
“I’m so happy,” you expressed.
JJ cupped your cheek with his ringed hand. He used his ringed thumb to stroke your cheek.
You were looking into his baby blue eyes when your gaze flickered to JJ’s lips.
JJ was looking at your lips when you finally closed the gap between you. The kiss was gentle and soft at first then grew more heated and frantic over time.
Your lips were locking together and you slid your hands into JJ’s hair. You pulled on the strands a little and he let out a groan causing you to melt. When the need for air became to strong you pulled away.
“Ya know I really do love you.” JJ explained nudging his nose with yours.
“Yes I do and I love you.
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oceantornadoo · 2 months
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price’s secret wife…just some comfort and fluff tbh
john heard a small knock, then the sound of his door being opened slowly, as if not to disturb. he tried to quell the adrenaline rush in his body, the need to tackle an incoming threat. it could only be one person, the one person he kept his door unlocked for.
there you were, his old oversized tshirt and boxers serving as your pajamas. you only wore them when you needed comfort, and when you were off duty. you were the one concerned with how it would look to the other soldiers on base, a female officer wearing her coworker’s name on the back of her shirt. if only they knew it was your legal name too. you perched comfortably on his bed, too tired to properly acknowledge him. he turned off his desk light, abandoning his paperwork in favor of his wife. his first and only priority. john sat next to you, spreading his thighs to make his lap bigger as he left his hands at his sides. he knew you like the back of his hand, knew you needed to sit in silence sometimes. you drained your social battery all day, giving out orders and dealing with subordinates. john was your rock, your lighthouse in the sea of duty. you leaned your head on his shoulder, the top of it scratching his beard. he leaned his on top of yours, taking your calloused hand into his own. he traced the lines of your palm slowly, pressing slightly to massage it. you hummed and he placed a kiss on your head, glad you were warming up out of your trance. “john…” you whispered, tucking your chin. “love?” he was a bit worried now. you still hadn’t looked at him.
your hand left his in favor of his shoulder as you turned your body to straddle him, your favorite seat in the world. you crossed your legs around him as you tucked your head into his neck, your hands exploring the taut muscles of his back. “hi baby.” you said into his neck, placing a kiss into the juncture of his neck, where his beard met smooth skin. his hands finally settled on your waist, massaging the skin there. “rough day?” you nuzzled further into him, giving him small nods as you tried to disappear into your husband and his comforting touch, “lost our target. set us back 3 months.” he hummed thoughtfully, his right hand leaving your waist as he threaded his fingers into your hair. his thumbs pressed against your scalp as you let out a small moan, becoming putty in his hands.
“‘s not your fault.”
“i know. still feels like it.”
“i know.”
the silence was comfortable, a warm blanket on a rainy day. your husband was a strong man, always strong for his task force, for the duty required of him. he hid it well, disarming with his muttonchops and fatherly nature, but there was stone under him, a fortress. with you, though, he was just a man with his wife. selfishly indulgent and unselfishly caring, open in only places you could reach.
“when are we retiring? getting that cottage where we always talked about.” he let out a small chuckle, kissing the crown of your head as he maneuvered to tuck you both in bed for the night. “whenever you want. you’re the one who keeps holding out.” he slipped you both under the covers. powerful arms able to keep you around him as he moved the blankets out of your way. “i know. seems like there’s always another mission. always another need to save the world.” his closeness wore you down, honesty running out of you like a faucet.
“what about our world? where we’re just husband and wife?” you hummed thoughtfully. john price was a man of duty, of loyalty, but at the end of the day, he had a man’s wants and needs. all he needed was you, safe, with him. “soon, baby. soon.” you weren’t lying. the next mission was your last. you needed him to yourself too much to pretend anymore. john was laying down now, your leg thrown over his legs as you spread your arms on his chest. “i love you.” you said into the darkness, eyes already closing at the comforting scent of his sheet detergent. “love you to the stars, sweetheart.” john price found elusive, peaceful sleep, comforted by your touch again.
are there two captains on the same base? i don’t care!
my first time writing price…tried to show his maturity without giving grandpa lol
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ceruleanchillin · 3 months
Note
I feel like biker Simon has a breeding kink too.🥴
Yes! I like the MBTI (though I acknowledge its flaws in classifying real people, I think it works perfectly for fictional characters).
Simon is most likely an INTJ, and Price an ENTJ. I think they’re very similar (I believe Gaz and Soap are the same except ISFP/ESFP respectively).
So I’d say he’s as bad as Price, he’d just be more subtle once he realizes how he feels.
Simon would probably trick you into thinking you were the one who convinced him to develop a breeding kink. But don’t be fooled.
——-
“You just have to find a kid at every party.” Simon, who was resting his head on the top of yours, purposely dug his chin into your scalp.
“Stop it,” you gently elbowed him in the ribs, careful to avoid jostling the happy little toddler in your arms. “I won’t apologize for kids loving me, it’s a good trait.”
The little girl had wandered over after you and Simon had settled on a blanket by the bonfire. The club and its associates were spread out all around you in the soft grass. The two of you had settled with each other to wind down from the party, only to be joined by a member’s daughter.
Simon had watched the brave little explorer wander over on unsure feet. She was enthralled with the pretty bracelets that littered your arm. You’d smiled, jingling the charms, and her little face lit up, hands clapping. She fell over into your lap, her wobbly legs finally giving out, and Simon bit the inside of his cheek against the warmth that flooded his chest.
This could be you and his kid someday. He could see it so clearly, that he almost missed you telling the girl’s mom you’d watch her for a bit.
He waited till the mom walked off before he leaned down, lips against your ear. “Don’t get attached, you have to give her back.”
The girl was happily babbling in your arms, responding to your cooing.
“Let’s go find you some cake and leave grumpy Uncle Simon by himself.”
You looked so good with her on your hip. It came so naturally to you. He started fantasizing again. He imagined a swell in your stomach under the tempting sundress (the one that made you both late to the party) you wore.
He could see you palming it, people asking you questions about the baby, and you talking more than you normally did in excitement.
Eager to tell the world about the life you two collaborated on.
When you walked back over with her, he could see your face glowing. You settled on the blanket, and he pulled you both into his arms. You said something, sarcastic most likely, but he was too focused on the girl holding out a piece of her cake to him.
Her pudgy hand waved it impatiently, pouting because he didn’t take her offering immediately. Simon leaned down and ate the cake from her hand, purposely nibbling her fingers, and sending her into a fit of giggles.
“Thank you f’that lovie. Was famished.” He couldn’t help the smile that curved his lips, the girl’s joy was too infectious.
He found you staring at him when he glanced at you.
“I don’t think I’m the one who’s going to have a problem giving her back.”
“You’re imagining things. Don’t lose it on me now bird, ” He cupped your lower stomach, large hands squeezing slightly. “Need you sane for our future babies. It’s all your fault after all.”
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sc0tters · 4 months
Text
Missing You | Nico Hischeir
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summary: when you and Nico haven’t seen each other for a month his teammates pull off the surprise of a lifetime when you both needed it the most.
request: yes/no
warnings: sexual themes, p in v, swearing, slight exhibitionist kink?
word count: 2.68k
authors note: welcome to the fourth instalment of the 1000 celly, and what I think is our first one with a mclaren driver. I have missed writing for this boy so much! this is also the first smut of 2024 if I'm not mistaken! we also aren't going to acknowledge that this has taken me like four days to write this...
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You knew you were in love with Nico.
It was hard not to be, he had been your boyfriend for the last four and a half years and you didn't want anything more. When you were with Mclaren you met him when he was on a trip to Belgium you two met during a party. You had just won the first race of your career but the moment you saw him, the world all of a sudden didn’t matter to you. But by the end of the night you couldn’t get enough of him. 
Yet as your careers both got ahead of you and it meant that the only real time you found yourself together was a three week period where you were both off in the summer break. But after this year it felt awkward for you both. You were coming up to the Austin leg of the season and with that it meant that you were back in the states. It seemed that both of you let your careers take hold of your lives, so even though you had a week off you didn’t know if Nico wanted to spend the time with you. 
That was compounded by the fact that you guys had a stupid argument, and when Nico ended the call with how he thought it would have been best if you didn’t come in your week off.
Nico had been having a rough week so when the video came up of you and Lando being interviewed by a child, it was the cherry on top of the shit cake. Not even your FaceTime call could have taken him out of it “there you are love!” You smiled as you saw the picture connect “finally found some time away from Lando?” Nico grumbled as he hadn’t even finished the video when you called. 
Your face dropped as you furrowed your eyebrows “you okay?” You trailed off as it only seemed to piss him off further “why do you have to go get all flirty with your teammate?” The accusation made you freeze “okay back the fuck up hotshot.” You warned as you raised your hand signaling to him to stop. 
It wasn’t often that you two fought but after months without sex - or any variation of it - you were both frustrated “I did not flirt with my teammate or anyone because I’m in love with you!” You were close to hanging up as you glared at him “you’ve got a funny way of showing that.” Nico laughed as he shook his head. 
You were doing alright at the moment with your racing, many podiums and even a win in the season that could all but have been called Max’s. But with one DNF and one DNS coming right after each other, you were now stressed “look don’t make your team playing like shit right now my fault.” You grumbled not realizing that the comment had slipped out “if we’re so shit then maybe you shouldn’t come!” With that Nico hung up leaving you with the reflection of your shocked face. 
As much as you wanted to apologize for what you had said, you were still upset that he could have ever questioned how you felt about him. It was clear the entire world noted how both of you were currently struggling not only in your sports but also how you just seemed to be out of it. You missed your boyfriend but as fans would have you sign random pieces of devils merch as the announcement of your relationship upon your win in Austria two years ago came with a whole new group of fans. 
So when you were sat in the comfort of your hotel room and got the message from Jack asking if you wanted to come to a devs game before the race in Vegas, you knew you couldn’t say no. Not when this was attached. 
Jacky Hughes: he misses you, even if he won’t say it
The text made your heart break especially after you watched Nico get injured. The Prudential Center was a place you found comfort in but this time as you sat amongst the crowd all you wanted was him. Nico’s name was proudly stapled on your back as you were in his jersey and a plain black cap as though it was going to be enough to hide your identity. 
And it did until the final intermission just as the boys got back on the ice “she still not talking to you?” Nico had called you earlier that morning but as you were on your flight you had no way of answering it “I just miss her.” Timo couldn’t help but place his hand on the boys shoulder as he felt bad. 
More than half of the team knew that you were here and Timo decided he could no longer leave Nico in his misery “look up there.” Six rows up sat next to Ellen and Jim Hughes, was you. 
Nico felt his jaw drop as he locked eyes with you “hi.” You mouthed like he could even see what you were saying “love you.” Nico did the same thing as you as he placed his hand on his heart as you blew him a kiss. 
That final period everyone swore that there was a rocket under Nico’s ass as he scored two different goals, both of which you knew were dedicated to you as the boy would smirk in your direction. It seemed that both of you were ready to finally see each other but as he got one of the stars of the game it left you waiting with Jack “thank you for getting me here.” You smiled at the boy finally taking your cap off as you realized you weren’t hiding anymore. 
Jack brushed it off as it was more of a favour to the boys than something for you guys “just hope he behaves.” You had mentioned your apprehensions on coming because of how you two fought “have a feeing we both will.” You nodded as you watched Nico’s head stick out from the crowd “schatzi!” He called out acting as the cue that Jack needed to leave “have fun.” The boy patted your shoulder as he walked off to his parents. 
It was only a few seconds until Nico was in front of you “hi.” He smiled noticing how you fidgeted with your rings just like you used to when you guys first started dating “you played well tonight cap.” The nickname had his mind fulling with thoughts, all as inappropriate as the previous.
His hand locked with yours as he clicked his tongue wanting you to stop “I’m sorry I called your team shit.” You were the first to apologize as your voice was soft not wanting his teammates to hear you “let’s go talk in the car.” Nico offered as he slid his arm over your shoulders letting your rest your head against him. 
It had been a while since you were in New Jersey as your summer break was spent in Europe “how did you keep the boys quiet?” Nico asked as he locked his hand with yours over the center console “it was actually their idea.” You smiled revealing what the surprise was “Jack said you missed me.” You teased letting out a giggle as the boys cheeks turn red. 
Nico couldn’t help but nod as he sighed “you and Lando are good friends and I know you love me.” The hockey player had found himself repeating the apology that he tried so many times to send you “I seriously think you’re on a great team.” You hated how badly you spoke about the team when Nico stood by your side through everything “can we agree we were both wrong?” The air finally felt light as the car came to a stop when the light turned red. 
His eyes stared into yours as he swore that there was nowhere that he’d rather be “only if it means that I could kiss you.” Nico mumbled as it made you smile “never need to ask me that.” You shook your head as the boy dropped his head to the side as he let his lips touch yours. 
A fire built up in your belly as his hand grazed your cheek finally stopping as he tugged on your hair “Neek.” You moaned feeling him smirk against your lips “I know baby.” Nico sighed having to pull away as the car behind them hooted as the light went green “so fucking happy to have you back my sweet girl.” He mumbled letting his hand rest on your thigh as he smiled. 
Being captain of an NHL team came with a bunch of privileges. One that Nico never realized that he was meant to appreciate was an expensive apartment with a view that could have been worth a thousand bucks “this will never get old.” You gasped pressing your fingers against the glass as you watched New Jersey continue to move beneath you “feels great getting to watch you in it.” Nico’s breath fanned against your skin as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. 
It was as though your entire body melted as his hands gripped at your hips “even in all of this?” You joked looking down to the fact that you were fully clothed “would prefer if you were just in this.” His fingers tugged at the jersey on your shoulders. 
All of a sudden an idea popped up in your mind “what’s stopping you pretty boy?” Your tongue darted out of your mouth as you turned to face him “you gonna let me?” Nico raised his eyebrows in surprise as he hooked his fingers in the belt hoops of your pants pulling you closer to him “you get whatever you want my little star.” You cooed pushing yourself onto your tippy toes as you wrapped your hands around his shoulders. 
Nico grinned as he swayed your hips against his “fuck I need you schatzi.” His groan was caught as your teeth grazed his lower lip “don’t make me wait.” The fight was now long forgotten as he undid your belt “god you’re soaked.” His eyes blew up at the sight of the wet patch on your panties. 
He helped you out of your pants “do something please.” You begged as his eyes had you feeling like he had you fully undressed “put your hands against the window then for me.” Nico moved your hair to the side of your neck. 
As you listened to his command his pants grew tight around his boner “looking so good tonight in my jersey.” The boy cooed as he turned his attention to the flesh of your ass squeezing your skin between his fingers “just tonight?” You held back a moan as you wiggled your ass in front of him desperate to get a reaction from the boy.
That behavior was cut as he lay a quick slap to your skin that was quickly followed by a soothing motion “you’ve got such a pretty ass.” He mumbled to himself picking up the band of your panties only to let it snap again as it made you jump “I need you Nico.” You begged letting the cool glass hit your forehead “you have me here schatzi.” His hand palmed your ass.
It made you whimper as your jaw went slack “need you to touch me.” Your tone was sultry as your body tensed “you just a cock hungry girl tonight?” The boy was amused as he took the time to unbuckle his belt as you bit your lip in anticipation “asked you a question pretty girl.” His voice pulled you from your focus as you turned your head to face him “want you baby.” Was all he needed to hear as he dropped his suit pants letting them hit the floor.
Nico missed this view as you practically oozed with anticipation “god I’ve missed this cunt” His fingers traced on the lace on your underwear before he hooked his fingers into the waistband leaving you nude from the waist down “you don’t have to wait much longer pretty boy.” You smirked hearing the gasp that left his lips as you knew that he was palming his cock.
The boy dragged its swollen head over your slit spreading his precum over your clit “don’t tease me please.” You begged as your knuckles turned white as your fingers tensed against the window “how do you think they would feel seeing how needy you are for me?” Nico teased as he kissed your neck as he slid his cock into your cunt “so big.” You gasped as the boy gave you a moment to let your walls stretch as his cock throbbed inside you “moove p-please.” You moaned feeling his hands squeeze your hips.
He felt his head drop back as you whimpered “let yourself scream f’me baby.” Nico nipped at your earlobe as it made you squirm “they can’t hear you from up here.” He reminded you of where you both were “you want people to watch you fuck-me!” You yelled the last part as Nico hit your ass once more.
Nico growled from behind you as he had gotten carried away by the fact that that you were still in his jersey “deserve to see who you belong to.” His possessiveness made you clench your cunt around him “you like it when I call you mine huh?” You nodded as you cried out “belong to you cap.” If Nico didn’t have so much planned for you he would have came on the spot but he used everything in his power to not coat the walls of your cunt in that moment.
The sound of skin slapping echoed in your ears as the sight of you in his jersey made his mouth water “hated thinking about those boys so close to you.” He grunted in your ear as his hands trailed up the inside of the jersey “you just look so fucking good in this.” As your hair was pushed to the side it had his name proudly displayed on your back.
You moaned as you nodded “’s all for you neeks.” You no longer seemed to care that you were against the window as your legs began to shake “I’m so close.” You announced as your hand trailed down to your clit as you began to rub at the sensitive nub.
As the boy realized what you were doing he swatted your hand away as he continued the assault on your clit “be a good girl and hold it f’me.” He clicked his tongue as he wanted to push you just a little bit further “i-i can’t.” You swore that tears were filling up your eyes as you whimpered “just a little bit longer.” He practically pleaded wanting to push you as close to the edge as he could.
Sweat made your hair stick to your skin “I need to-” your plead was short lived as he cut you off “let go for me.” Nico mumbled as his cock throbbed your body shook as you came “fuck fuck fuck!” You chanted as you pressed your head against his shoulder as your cunt clenched around him “there it is pretty girl.” Nico cooed as he kissed your temple as his orgasm came shortly after yours.
Nico watched your chest heaved as he slid his cock out of you “you were so good.” You mumbled turning to face him as you smiled “the night doesn’t have to end schatzi.” Nico cupped your cheeks as he pecked your lips “take me to your room cap.” He didn’t need to hear anymore as he threw you over his shoulder making you squeal as he laughed.
The door to his room shut and with that the rest of the events planned for you two weren’t going to be seen by New Jersey. Because as fun as that was, being tangled in the sheets was far more favourable.
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moonstruckme · 6 months
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hi! i hope you're having a good day<3 i was wondering if you could write a remus x fem!reader where they aren't really dating but everyone knows they like each other (them included) where r has kinda mean friends? like, they leave her out of everything and she constantly feels bad about it. and ever time she tells remus he's like "you should drop them, you deserve better" and he's just trying to get her to see that she deserves better?
Thank you <3
modern au
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 736 words
Remus can feel a heaviness building where you sit on the couch next to him. 
He lets his eyes slide subtly in your direction, and you’re frowning at your phone. Not an upset frown, no pursed lips or drawn brows, just a slight downturn of the corners of your mouth. You look defeated, and Remus can’t abide it. 
“Everything alright, love?”
Predictably, you soften like butter at the endearment, and your expression as you turn to him is kind if not happy. “Yeah, I’m good,” you say, and Remus pretends not to know it’s a lie. He waits. Your eyes drop to his shoulder, one thumbnail picking at the other distractedly. “I just wish…I wish that if my friends were going to hang out without me, they’d at least not post so much about it.” 
A familiar ache starts up in his chest. “Oh no. What’ve they done?” 
You shrug like it’s little to you, but he sees the way you press your lips together, the faint redness creeping up from your neck. He hopes you don’t cry, if only to spare his delicate heart. 
“They’re all at Hannah’s place, I guess. Going to go see the new movie premiere.” You laugh. It sounds raw. “I actually asked them if they wanted to go do that tonight, and they all said they were busy.” 
The frailty of your voice works like glass shards, cleaving Remus clean open. “Darling,” he says, and he doesn’t care that you’re not official enough to acknowledge the endearment in its full capacity. You both know he means it well enough. His hand slides atop yours the way one tempers one ingredient by adding a tiny bit of another before the rest. You soften at his touch, and Remus goes all the way, curling his arms under yours to give your back a firm squeeze. “I know you’re sick of hearing it from me, but they really don’t deserve you.” 
A tiny drop of warm wetness slides from your face to his shirt. His own fault, really, but if a good cry is what you need he’s ready to indulge you. “I just want to know what it is about me that makes me so terrible to be around,” you weep, and Remus crushes you to his front unthinkingly, a protective ire swelling within him. He wishes he could go to your friend’s house and give these girls a talking-to right now, but you probably wouldn’t thank him for it. He settles for dragging his palm up and down your back, hip to shoulder and back again. 
“Don’t say that,” he pleads with you. 
“I know, I’m sorry.” Your sigh is a stilted, shuddering thing. “I’m putting you in an awful position. I don’t mean to fish for compliments.” 
“I know,” he promises, his hand stopping where Remus can feel your heart beating through the material of your shirt. “And I’m not saying it out of any sense of obligation, but you really are lovely to be around. I mean” —he pulls back so you can see his face, hoping the sincerity in it will make some headway against your self-doubt— “would I be here if you weren’t?”
You give him a small smile, thin-lipped. “You’re very nice.” 
Remus laughs, wrapping his fingers around your upper arms and barely restraining himself from trying to shake some sense into you. “I’m not that nice. But okay, Sirius would never hang around anyone he didn’t actually like, can we agree there?” He takes your silence for acquiescence, and, with a gentle smile, goes on. “Every one of our friends sees how kind, and smart, and lovely you are. They” —he shoots a pointed look at your phone— “are the only ones who don’t. That’s how I know you’re not the problem, sweetheart,” he says, softer now. “They are.” 
You look him in the eyes as you take a deep breath. This one goes in and out steadier than the last, and some of the tension in his own chest eases. “Thank you,” you tell him. 
Remus can’t help himself; he pulls you in for another hug, selfish to his core. “No thanks necessary,” he says firmly.
“I guess the only thing to do,” you say, voice muffled against his shoulder, “is to stop trying to make plans with them and hang out exclusively with you.” 
Remus laughs. He doesn’t hate the sound of that.
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valeriasdream · 29 days
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You Are in Control
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A long post ahead, so I put a cut to save space for you all. I hope this helps. A bit nervous posting this and I get a little ramble-y, so apologies in advance for that.
We try to control our external world by focusing on our results, but by doing so we give up our actual control.
Have you ever heard the philosophy that you can't change others, you can only change yourself? The same applies here. You cannot change the outer world without changing your own inner world and mindset.
The only thing you will ever have 100% control over is yourself and your internal world. No one has control over your belief system, as much as people will tell you that what you believe is not wrong, it's still yours.
On Traumatic Events
That being said, I want to talk about traumatic events in relation to manifestations and reality shifting, since I've seen a lot of people posting or talking about it recently.
I think people misunderstand that when we say our assumptions make up our reality it means we are therefore responsible or the cause of bad things that happen to us, including traumatic events or abuse.
This is simply not true.
I think it's incredibly cruel to tell people that their abuse or their trauma is their fault. It's not.
Imagine you are going through life with a blindfold over your eyes, but you are unaware that you have a blindfold on. You think you can see, you are not aware that you are blind. So you continue your life, falling over, getting hurt, running into things because you just simply do not have the awareness to even realize that you are blind. How can you be responsible for getting hurt, how can it be your fault that you were hurt if you couldn't even see the path in front of you?
Then one day, you experience something that causes you to become aware of the blindfold. It could be another person telling you about it, it could be just through random circumstances that you felt your face and realized, "holy shit, I'm blind!" Whatever the circumstance is, it does not matter.
So you take off the blindfold, and you suddenly notice that you have total control of your path, and now you can avoid all pain or dangerous outcomes.
This is sort of how I view trauma or negative experiences... And I am aware that my blindfold analogy sounds a bit "culty" because of the whole, "open your eyes take off the blindfold" shit but it's the best analogy I've got, so I'm sorry for that. I am NOT trying to sound like some bullshit person who blindly believes in the law without acknowledging traumas. Traumas are real and they happen to people.
Sometimes we are blinded, and unaware. And when we are blind and unaware, we don't have control. And it's not our fault for being unaware, because think of how you were before you knew about the law or about shifting. You were just living your life, you were letting life lead you. You were in survival mode. How can you blame someone for just being in survival?
That does not mean that you are the cause for any bad things that happened to you because at the time, you were unaware of the control and power you had. And that's perfectly valid and okay, whatever may have happened to you it was not your fault.
It is now up to you whether or not you want to stay in that state, and because you are now aware of the control you have over yourself it is so much more freeing. The blindfold has been removed, you are no longer stumbling through life simply trying to survive. You are free to create however you desire.
As a side note, I want to express that it is absolutely possible to heal from traumas. It is hard, it is very very scary, I know because I've been there myself. But it is possible... And the moment you do, the moment you free yourself of whatever happened to you, you will understand that it was never your fault. If anyone is reading this who has been through something painful, difficult, or traumatic... You didn't deserve that. You will lead whatever life you desire, whether it's manifesting a better life here for yourself, or shifting to a whole new reality in your DR. It's not about deserving or not, everyone deserves their own version of their reality regardless of the person you are. There is no good or bad, there is only a state of being.
I just wanted to end on this note because I think people can sometimes blame themselves far too easily, and sometimes we need reassurance and to understand that we're not responsible for what happened to us, but we are responsible for handling our own healing.
No one can heal you but you. Just like no one can change your reality but you.
You are in control. Do not ever let anyone take that away from you.
This post from 2022 in the Neville Goddard subreddit has a take that I find very helpful in also understanding that you are not the cause of your traumas.
If you've read this far, thank you for your time. Whether we agree or not, I hope everyone remains respectful.
🩷 Valeria
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valictini · 1 month
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People be like "it's OK to take a break from everything!!" without realising that it's not a break for fans who were following the french ccs. It's a permanent leave.
Like, imagine that your favorite egg(s) and cc(s) left because of mismanagement overnight. Really, imagine it for a second. Your faves don't show up anymore. Quackity doesn't even acknowledge they're gone despite the fault lying on his studio. Imagine having to "take a break" after that. Truly put yourself in our shoes for a second.
You need to realise that right now, "Taking a break" feels more like "accepting that we're being kicked out without a word"
It is. Deeply. Deeply. Frustrating. Especially since the problems in question were consistently pointed out by fans and ccs.
Also, for the record, I DID try to take a break. And then literally the next day Pomme's and Dapper's admins left. So yeah I'm done waiting. I want solutions to the problems we've been screaming about for months.
If not for us, then at least for the rest of you.
Sorry if you think im being impatient. That i don't give Quackity enough grace. But the problem with the integration of the french community started day one. It's normal for us fans to assume the best, to assume that surely, those were just one-off errors and that they were being resolved behind the scene. But it's not normal for Quackity to do the same.
How tf did Quackity let it slide for so long without investigating the cause? Did he even notice/care that we were consistently left out? How did he not know that Lumi was the only french admin on the team? Why did he seemingly not talk to any of the admins in private even ONCE in an entire year ?
Say what you want, that he's young, that he's overwhelmed, that he never managed such a big team, that he blindly trusted the management he put in place, all that is true... but that doesn't erase the fact that he himself took these risks. It's his own fault for creating such an ambitious server without the necessary skills to oversee every aspect of it. And im sorry if his mental health takes a toll because of this situation but it is NOT hate to point these facts out.
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