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chosobeee · 6 months

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𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙸𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜 ♡

I had a real itchin' for this one. All my favs in one post, let's goooo!

Pairings: Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Toji Fushiguro x GN!Reader (Separately)

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: fluff, fluff, and more fluff. Trust issues, anxiety (of all kinds), implied trauma, Toji being a little pushy.

Enjoy! xx

Satoru Gojo: Patient & Bold

- Raising Megumi from a young age, he’s well versed in how difficult it is to get someone to fully trust another. But he’s determined to prove his worth to you.

- Whether it be from bad past relationships, family issues, or other traumatic instances, Gojo fully listens when you voice your concerns to him.

- This doesn’t stop him from flirting, though. And hard.

- I mean, what else would he do if he didn’t make you a flustered, blubbering mess?

- He mixes his compassion with constant praises and compliments, careful not to lovebomb you. He doesn’t want you to feel pressured, but he’ll be damned if you get your heart stolen by someone else.

- Gotta keep you on your toes.

- Once he’s finally got a foot in the door, prepare to have a boyfriend. He won’t act like anything less. This is huge for him.

- He’ll buy you gifts, take you on “non-dates”, as he likes to call them. He’ll come over for movie nights, listen to your anxious rambling and offer support, make your comfort a top priority, and constantly remind you of your own worth (without being asked).

- He will bring you around his friends, proudly, and doesn’t hide his feelings for you in front of them either. He’s not embarrassed by you, and he doesn’t want to control you or push you into a dark corner. He just wants to shower you in the love you damn well deserve.

- The relationship kinda develops from there. You don’t even have to have an “official” conversation, it just happens.

- However, if you want to have a discussion about what you two are to each other, he’ll give you a warm smile and tell you just how much he loves you. Bro probably has a monologue prepared, just for this moment.

“Aww, you’re blushing! I love that look on you~”

“Sweetie you’re shaking… do you want me to hold your hand?”

“Why would I be embarrassed of you? I love you.”

“You look so cute when you’re flustered.”

“How dare you not answer my emergency phone call? I needed to say ‘I love you.’”

Suguru Geto: Empathetic & Compassionate

- He himself has dealt with trust issues many times before, so he can understand where you’re coming from. Not to mention you’re like royalty to him, so how could he disrespect your feelings in such a manner?

- He doesn’t stop his advances by any means, but he does slow down considerably.

- He decides it’s best to show you how much he cares, rather than pulling back and pretending he doesn’t care at all.

- If you ever express your discomfort with something, he’ll give you his full attention and actually listen to you. Whatever it is you need him to stop or pull back on, he will. He can find other ways to woo you, he’s certain. He’s not worried.

- His flirting is subtle, but still obvious enough to make you flustered. He loves when he can make you blush, it’s a signal of your true feelings for him. You can hide it all you want, but your body will always give it away.

- Once you begin to let your guard down, the relief is evident on his features. It took way longer than he was anticipating, but now that he’s in, he’s here to stay. Not that he was going to let you go in the first place.

- His advances become a bit more bold, purposely grabbing your waist as he walks by, leaning down to whisper things in your ear when others are around, giving you winks whenever he catches you looking at him for a moment too long.

- Like Gojo, he brings you around his friends, and does so with excitement. He finds a great joy in bringing you around his loved ones, it’s like incorporating you in a permanent manner to his life. He wants you to know and understand that he wants this, that he wants you.

- Once he’s confident that you have a true opening in your heart for him, he asks you out officially. He knows you would never make the first move into a commitment like this, so he happily takes the lead. And it pays off too, because of course you say yes.

- He will always show his pride and love towards you. You are the most important thing in his life, and it’s his mission to make sure you never forget that.

“I can’t bring myself to stop thinking about you; I don’t want to.”

“Look at me, please. I love you.”

“You don’t understand… You are everything to me.”

“I will take care of you. I will not let anyone hurt you ever again.”

“I will continue love you like this until the day I die.”

Yuji Itadori: Supportive & Patient

- He’s never been in a relationship before, but his kindness and compassion come to him naturally, so he’s typically a very easy person to trust. However, he understands that you have your setbacks and those things are out of his control.

- When I say this man is so supportive, oh my god~

- He’s a dream.

- He doesn’t expect anything out of you. He understands if you can’t get past that barrier with him to form a romantic relationship. The most he’s hoping for is for a true friendship with you. He adores you and wants to ensure you understand that.

- He would never make you feel forced or rushed into something you aren’t ready for, no matter how badly he wants it.

- This angel will sit and listen to everything you have to say, offer support and comfort, and give you his full, undivided attention. He genuinely cares about how you feel and the experiences you’ve lived through. He's a fiend for the lore.

- He flirts indirectly, but not intentionally. He’ll compliment you, or graze your hand with his own, or arrange one-on-one outings that could be considered dates. If you say anything about it, he’ll immediately become flustered, offering to invite Nobara and Megumi along if being alone with him makes you uncomfortable.

- Once you’ve opened up to him more and have shown the blossoms of your trust towards him, he’s absolutely over-the-moon, but still careful to not push you into anything. His flirting becomes more direct, but he’s still very soft with it, stopping if he notices you in discomfort.

- He doesn’t even have to try to show you how much he cares, it’s just built into who he is. If he cares about you, you know it. It’s extremely hard to ignore.

- He’ll always ask for your opinion on things, including major life decisions, and genuinely let the weight of your words sit in his head. He brings you around his friends, and goes out of his way to invite you whenever they’re going out to places you may have never been before. He wants you to be included, always.

- After a while, he’ll sit down and tell you about how he feels. He doesn’t outright ask you to date him, but he wants to clearly communicate his love for you. He lets you decide what you want to do with this information, and gets adorably excited when you reveal your reciprocation.

- Being with him is honestly a whiplash in comparison to how you’ve been treated by others in the past, but you’re grateful for the genuine and true love he gives you. He would literally tear apart the world for you if needed.

“I never thought I’d be so lucky to be with someone like you.”

“I am so in love with you. Please stay with me.”

“I hope you’ll never forget how much I adore you.”

“I feel like I’m home whenever you’re around.”

“I am so happy right now, I feel like I could explode.”

Toji Fushiguro: Impatient & Forward

- Yeah, you saw this coming.

- Always the abrasive man, once he wants something, he has decided that it is his. In this case, it’s you! Lucky you?

- Don’t get me wrong, he cares, but he's also a bit offended that you don’t outright trust him. Sure, he gets that he’s not the softest man in the world, but has he not shown you enough appreciation or something? Damn.

- He shows you more care than he does to others, but in terms of patience, it’s next to none. He even calls you by nicknames already, such as babe and brat. The usual.

- He doesn’t care if you aren’t in an “established relationship”, because you will be eventually. He doesn’t like beating around the bush. You’ll trust him sooner or later.

- He’ll listen when you voice your concerns, but don’t expect him to stop his advances towards you. Of course he cares about how you feel, but you’re already stuck with him. He knows he’s already growing on you, so he’ll just keep it up until you decide to fully let him in.

- He finds your anxiety kind of cute, honestly. He takes it as shyness, and he just can’t wait to break you out of that shell. Not to mention he loves to purposely fluster you to the point you can’t speak.

- He wants to absolutely annihilate the people who made you feel this way. He knows this is a lifelong problem you’ll have to deal with, and he wishes he could go back in time and stop anyone from hurting you.

- It’s okay though, he’ll just prevent anyone from ever doing that to you ever again. And maybe find the people who did this in the first place-

- Once you begin to open up to him, nothing really changes. He continues to act as though you guys have been married for years, but on the inside he’s as excited as a child. He knows he’s made a breakthrough.

- He doesn’t have many friends to bring you around, so when you start to worry about him being embarrassed of you, he’ll notice and feel a bit bad. He needs to prove you wrong.

- He’ll start taking you out to very public places, just the two of you, and openly show his affection for you. He hopes this establishes his feelings more, because he’s honestly too lazy to do anything too extravagant.

- There isn’t an official conversation, technically. Not one initiated by Toji, anyway. If you want any clarification, all you have to do is ask him. He’ll give you that “are-you-dumb?” look, and say that you guys have already been dating for a while now.

- He’s been telling everyone that you’re married anyway.

“I love you, now shut up.”

“Don’t lie—I see the way you look at me.”

“So are you gonna kiss me or are you just gonna keep staring?”

“I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy, I think fate was a little harsh on you.”

“It’s crazy that you’ve put up with me for this long. Not that you have a choice, though.”

Megumi Fushiguro: Reciprocation & Patience

- Wow, look! A perfect match!

- Or an opponent.

- Mr. Trust Issues over here fully understands your predicament, and reciprocates the same feelings of anxiety.

- He sees you as an equal, but it’s so hard to fully open his heart to you. He’s just as afraid of you as you are of him in the beginning.

- His feelings for you terrify him to no end, especially since he can’t seem to get them to go away. Every thought always has you tagged into it somehow. How did this happen?

- This is a relationship that’s going to take some hard work from both ends to blossom. You might even need an external factor to help you out, like the oh-so-caring Yuji, or the ever-annoying Gojo. After that, things become a bit easier.

- He feels a sense of relaxation whenever he’s around you, like he doesn’t have to put up a front or hide how he truly feels about certain situations. The more you open up to him, the more he reciprocates, and vice versa.

- He doesn’t flirt, but he does go out of his way to show he cares. He’ll cover up table corners when you walk past or bend over to reach for something. He buys you your favorite foods on days you’re feeling down, and he always lends an attentive ear when you need to talk, or even a shoulder to cry on.

- He does these things, because you do the same for him. He feels appreciated and heard when he’s with you. He feels cared for. And he will do his best to ensure he can offer you that same sense of security.

- You guys open up to each other at the same pace, a relationship blossoming along with trust. The “flirting” becomes more natural: soft praises to each other, knowing glances, soft touches when near each other.

- You begin doing more “couple” things, like going out one-on-one together, memorizing each others favorite everything, buying gifts and sharing food. It’s only a matter of time before one of you pops the question now.

- Speaking of, the conversation is of course, mutual. You both decide around the same time that you want to finally muster up the courage and just talk about everything. And so you do, and it ends way better than either of you could have ever imagined.

- It’s gotten to the point that the teasing from Gojo doesn’t bother him as much anymore. In fact, he almost welcomes it—it’s proof that you guys are solid and real. That you aren’t going anywhere. And neither is he.

- He’s so focused on keeping you protected from the evils of the world, having experienced them himself. He never wants you to be subjected to anything like that again. He would happily die a million deaths before anyone could ever hurt you again.

“I think I’m in love with you, and I don’t know what to do.”

“You are so much more than you think of yourself. I will make sure you see that.”

“I just need to know that you’re okay.”

“Will you love me forever?”

“I don’t want to be without you.”

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aliensunflower-fics · 3 years

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In Defense of Salt AND Sugar: Aka ML Fandom pls chill out.

So I don’t talk much as those who follow me will say I tend to just stick to myself and my own things. HOWEVER, Ive gotten a lot of asks about why I write both Salt and Sugar for Miraculous Ladybug.

The short answer: Both salt and sugar are valid, fun, intriguing things to read and write and the point of writing is to entertain and be entertained.

The long answer: Salt isn’t inherently someone hating on your fav show and sugar isn't someone necessarily giving it a free pass either. Ya’ll are just dramatic as hell.

The LONGER answer:

I write salt because I LIKE Miraculous Ladybug, BUT the show has not lived up to its potential AT ALL. The show could be so much better and the characters are so flawed or full of holes that occasionally I feel FRUSTRATED and mad!

I hate that Alya a character who I was so excited about, gets shafted ignored, sidelined, or written like a jerk! She could have been this great detective working alongside her friend to unmask the villain, but instead she often comes across as pushy, obsessed with Ladynoir or Adrinette, and so damn easily tricked. Not to mention how when shes not gushing over her ‘ships’ shes pushed to the side and ignored. [or you know... LILA]

I hate that Marinette’s crush makes her do things that are so cringy and awkward i feel ill I hate that she’s constantly the only one making mistakes and ‘learning lessons’ when the show has all these other great characters that could use the spotlight and be the ones learning lessons. I hate that she’s so jealous and that she cant ever seem to catch a break as if the show is punishing her constantly.

I HATE that Adrien is a mary sue, how the writers say hes perfect and treat him as such, I hate that he gets to guilt Marinette into fixing everything and dealing with bullies, I wanted a funny, Ron Stoppable, naive boy who learns about real friendships and grows into a great partner. Instead he gets to be pushy and downright a jerk as Chat Noir ignoring his responsibilities, guilting Ladybug with his feelings, never taking no as an answer. He’s not a good role model for kids.

I hate that Chloe got built up to have a redemption arc several times only for the writers to decide that Chloe a teenage girl who needs some serious therapy [and actual reasonable punishment for her actions] is worse than Gabriel child abuse Agreste. She could have been a great lesson on compassion and growth and dealing with your own pain without hurting others. Instead the writers wrote her off completely.

And dont get me started on how the show treats Nino, Kagami, Luka and the rest of the cast. They may as well be a backdrop for the forced love square that we NEVER get a break from. Seriously I’m a sucker for romance but does it need to be EVERY damn episode?! Can’t we just get some wholesome friendship between everyone including Adrien and Marinette at this point like COME ON.

And i’m not even touching on the white washing, awful lessons on responsibility and forgiveness, awful lessons on well so much other stuff really, the guilt trips, the teacher, the fact that she show could be used to teach kids how to better handle negative emotions and the importance of open communication and not keeping quiet about injustice and/or your feelings but instead decided that the main priority should be a love square that gets force fed to us EVERY SINGLE EPISODE.

My point is the show has FLAWS. That doesn’t mean its the worse show ever and it doesn’t mean its not fun, and has a great premise and characters, and so when I write Salt I write it because i’m frustrated! Im frustrated with the show, with the characters, with the writing and so I vent that out with salt I write those characters as their worst selves because I cant stand how the show has decided to treat them and Im ANGRY and disappointed.

It feels good to write salt and to read it. It’s nice to see characters get called out for bad behavior, its nice to read about Adrien not getting the girl. Its nice to occasionally indulge in salt because it validates that the show is flawed and lets you get out that frustration.

BUT ON THE FLIP SIDE

Miraculous Ladybug is a lovely show. It’s a show that decided to give little girls a FEMALE HERO. And not just as a side kick or background character! No they made her the protagonist! Its so important to me that little girls see good well rounded female characters in media.

And even if the show is clumsy about it they are TRYING to build an expansive lore that tickles the theorist brain. And gets people invested in the world.

The show also made Marinette shy, and awkward, and clumsy something a lot of girls deal with during puberty as growing up can literally make you clumsier as your body adjusts. Having a character who tries to be positive and tries to find solutions who solves things with creativity instead of pure violence. Thats LOVELY for young girls to see.

Growing up I loved and admired Kim Possible, and probably would have loved Marinette, even if the shows not perfect I can admit its trying and I can see why people love it as much as they do! And why they write these fluffy sugary fics its the reason I WRITE fluffy sugary things.

Because even though I am frustrated and angry and disappointed with the show, I still see Alya’s potential and how great she is as representation to little girls who want a black female superhero so I write fluff where Alya’s loyalty, compassion, cleverness and her pursuit of justice are center stage.

I see how Adrien could be better and I want him to be better and I WANT him to be the naive funny comic relief the Ron Stoppable to Marinette’s Kim Possible. I want Adrien to grow and learn and spit in his dad’s face I want him to overcome the abuse and be happy. To show people that neglect and abuse doesn’t mean you will get stuck like that forever, that you can overcome that and be a better kinder person.

I want Nino and Kagami, and Luka and Chloe and the class to grow and get attention and have funny moments I want to laugh and make other people laugh! So I write prompts focused around comedy and shenanigans and where the characters get to be fun and silly and make decisions for themselves!

SO IN CONCLUSION:

I write salt AND sugar. I see the value and merit in both sides of the coin, and I respect how other people see the show. I know its easy to get angry with other people in the fandom who see the show differently then you do but please can we put down the weapons and just BREATHE.

Someone who writes salt might LOVE the same show as you, and they might in fact love it so much that they vent their frustrations in angst and salt and cracky fics. Let them vent about how they wish the show was better, leave their tags alone or block them if you cant stand to see it. But dont attack salt writers for ‘hating on your show’ when they might love it just as much as you do but want a way to vent out their feelings.

On the flip someone who writes sugar might NOT be forgiving the show for its flaws, they might see all the same flaws as you but decide to take that frustration and write fluff and fix it fics and sugar because they want to indulge in a version of their favorite show where everything is just... OK. Where everyone is well written and happy and the character development sticks. Stay out of their tags let them have their sugar, they aren't writing it to hurt you just like you don't write salt to hurt them.

So ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each others tags. Let people write SALT if they feel angry and vengeful and disappointment, let them have their tags, let them explore the dark side of the characters, let them rant and rave and be HURT when the characters they love upset them with their actions. Its not your place to tell them to stop, to tell them their feelings are invalid, to tell them that ‘adrien is sweet sunshine boy how dare you’ or ‘alya would never’ or ‘i hate your marinette leaves dupont au’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

AND ENOUGH. Enough hunting each other down, enough sending each other hate, enough filling each other tags. Let people write SUGAR if they just want something to feel happy about. Let them makes coffee shop au’s, let them make fix it fics where everything is just happy without needing 8 pages of backstory for why everything is just happy. Let them squeal and gush and talk about the ship they like and the fluff they see. Its not your place to argue with them that the show is flawed, its not cool to ruin their fun by accusing them of not understanding the flaws, to tell them ‘umm actual this character shouldn’t get to be happy’ or ‘wow this is so shallow’. Just leave it be, heed the tags, and let it go.

PS: Now with that said and done. I do have one final message for everyone - If you write/enjoy pedophilia, if you sexualize KIDS. Then get the fuck out of fandom spaces, stop fucking following me, and do everyone salt and sugar a favor by LEAVING. Your pedophilia and child sexualization aint wanted, aint ok, and I will fight you.

PSS: IF YOU HATE WHAT IVE SAID ABOUT SUGAR AND SALT FINE OK I RESPECT YOU REGARDLESS. ENJOY THE SHOW, STAY CLASSY, DONT HURT PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION.

#its just me #ml salt #ml sugar #adrien salt #adrien sugar #alya salt #alya sugar #chloe salt #chloe sugar #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #class salt #class sugar

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strawberry--bride · 3 years

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Who's your Diabolik Lovers boyfriend (Sakamaki & Mukami)

Admin-san wants me to do another one of these quizzes to find out who would be a good boyfriend for me. ...Ah! But this time, it includes the Mukami brothers as well!

Q1. What is your clothing style like?

Hm...Soft colors for sure! I do think comfort is important, but I love a cute dress so I’ll go for the second answer!

Q2. Do you wear makeup?

A little bit and only sometimes! I prefer a natural look!

Q3. What is your hairstyle most of the time? (Tope three you mostly have)

Long, down and straight most of the time. Although sometimes I will braid it or put it up in a ponytail!

Q4. Your hair color?

My hair isn’t any of these colors...I suppose I should select ‘dyed’ then...?

Q5. Your Hobbies? (Three or less)

This one’s easy! Arts and crafts as well as making and trying new foods~

Q6. Your best qualities? (Pick top three)

Based on what people have told me, I’d say it would be ‘compassion, kindness and understanding’.

Q7. Word(s) that describes you out of the following? (Pick three at the most)

Let’s see...’Supportive’ is definitely one! Is it weird to describe yourself as ‘sweet’? Because it’s a compliment I have received in the past!

Q8. Self-esteem?

Uu...Definitely low...

Q9. Fav subject/class (at the most pick three)

Art and cooking!

Q10. Do you follow your heart or your mind?

I strongly believe in following your heart!

Q11. Picture this: A guy you know at school is always teasing you and sometimes perverted with you about things. He makes you feel terrible about yourself and uncomfortable. (This guy sounds awful) What do you do/or say?

I know this most likely isn’t the best way to deal with a situation like this but...I’m pretty sure I just wouldn’t do anything, afraid of the consequences.

Q12. Picture this: Some guy is always telling you everything you do is wrong and makes you feel as if you are worthless. This person rules your life and disciplines you to the highest extent, you feel trapped and upset. What do you do/or say?

As horrible as that sounds, there’s times I do feel worthless myself as well so...I can imagine it would only push me into more of a negative mindset.

Q13. Picture this: A guy you know from school doesn't think too highly of you so he believes that you're stupid and he belittles you for it. He's always telling you, you'll never be better than him and he makes you feel very incapable about yourself. What do you do/or say?

I’d try and ignore it, but feel pretty down about it afterwards...

Q14. Picture this: Some guy expressed their mood swings to you, they do this often and sometimes it leads you to think that maybe you're in the wrong and that you should try to be a better person but that person never thinks you care.

You're tired of hearing this from him so what do you do/or say?

If there’s a misunderstanding, I would try my best to try and talk it out so we can start over.

Q15. Picture this: A guy is trying to sexually harass you and he tries to convince you that it's not going to hurt, or that you're going to like it, etc What do you do/or say?

I’d feel very uncomfortable and try to leave.

Q16. Picture this: You hear bad things about a place or guy, do you decided to not take the persons advice about it and continue or do you become cautious?

I strongly believe anyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, so I don’t want to just label someone as mean, just because of what someone else told me. I’d ponder over the idea and probably ask them more specific questions as well.

Q17. Picture this: You have been kidnapped and you are trapped and told you can not leave from the place you are in. Would you try to escape even if the chances are slim? If you ever saw a way out would you attempt? Would you ever give up on leaving if every time you tried it wouldn't work?

A lot of emotions for sure, but I can also see myself just giving up after some time, accepting it as my fate.

Q18. Picture this: Some guy is able to pin you down or carry you and you don't have enough physical strength to do anything how do you make him stop?

I’d ask him to stop and if that doesn’t work, freak out and try to squirm my way out.

Q19. Picture this: Someone starts to befriend you then throws you out and no longer includes you in their group. What do you do/or say to this person?

I probably shouldn’t but I’d still be nice to them. I can’t force anyone to be my friend or even like me. However, that doesn’t give me a reason to be mean to them back. Then I’m just as bad.

Q20. Picture this: Someone is getting picked on what do you do/or say?

I would call them out...! Bullying is never okay!

THE RESULTS

Kanato-kun, Subaru-kun and Ayato-kun all get a shared first place! Azusa-kun and Kou-kun seem like pretty good options for me as well.

Meanwhile, I don’t match up too well with Reiji-san or Ruki-kun, it seems.

This was pretty fun! If you guys try it out for yourself, let me know who you got!

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errabundus-nox · 3 years

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Hello, I wrote a ficlet dealing with my fav daozhang (XXC). The idea of Song Lan fearful of touching XXC after his revival because of his brute strength as a fierce corpse popped into my head while conversating with someone.

Canon Divergence. XXC Revives!

Song Lan / Xiao Xing Chen

Angst(y), T rated.

Biblichor

Song Lan succeeds.

He feels the infinitesimal shift of the pale, still man beneath him. His ears pick up the tiny flutter of heartbeats, the twitch in his fingers.

The breath of air exhaled.

Song Lan swallows a hard lump down his throat, eyes - Xiao Xing Chen's eyes - unblinking. Afraid that this would be the ruin of the phenomenon unfurling before him.

How much time has he spent? Unsleeping and fasting, piecing together Xiao Xing Chen's spirit in this dingy, abandoned shack he had placed his coffin in.

Where demonic talents had failed, and righteous teachings have all but set him up for an unfeasible task, he succeeded.

“Zichen – “his voice like sandpaper rasps.

Beside him, Song Lan’s fingers curled against the edge of the coffin in a knuckle white grip, splintering wood. Seeing eyes zeroed in on the man that had just roused, a white bandage sitting on high and delicate cheekbones, face bereft of color. Xing Chen’s skin was parchment thin and looked so fragile, almost translucent in the glowing embers of dawn. His all-white robes casting an almost distant and ethereal quality to him.

Song Lan fears that he might just break him with a single touch.

“Zichen,” Xing Chen’s raspy voice tries again, a slight edge of firmness to it that washes relief through Song Lan. Xing Chen struggles to pull himself up, joints stiff and body uncoordinated from a prolonged period of disuse.

Song Lan reaches over to his back and helps Xing Chen sit up, with barely any pressure behind his touch. Xing Chen couldn’t help a small shiver as the air moves around him. It wasn’t a cold day, with the rising sun emitting its warmth. Song Lan doesn’t hesitate to remove his outer robes and drapes it across Xing Chen’s shoulders. He reaches out and puts a cup gingerly against cold lips.

Drink this first, Song Lan voices out mentally.

He feels the ghost of his breath pass through his fingers, a soft gasp escaping Xing Chen’s lips.

“Can you – “he sputters, fingers slowly reaching towards his right ear, to confirm his senses where his eyes could not.

Song Lan shook his head before he could stop himself.

No, was his answer.

Xing Chen could still feel the cup pressed on his lip. His fingers moved to grasp it, brushing against Song Lan’s. He takes a tentative sip, feels the prickling discomfort of liquid down his parched throat, and tries not to cough. The second sip is easier, and he empties the contents of the cup on the third.

Song Lan spent trudging up the path to the celestial mountain for many days.

He realizes, quickly, how much the world has changed during his absence.

The war was over, its demonic cultivators quelled all thanks to their heralded heroes but at the price of many. Even the fierce corpses that once plagued helpless villagers seemed to thin and disperse.

He spent days at the foot of the mountain, with each passing moment confirming his denied entry.

But in its silence, he found the answers.

This is the way of the world, that we seek to understand on common ground. To leave, would akin to finding your own answers and give meaning to matters once not understood.

Song Lan stood up, bowed deeply thrice, and made his journey back again.

He finds an abandoned wooden shack tucked just under the foothills, on the outskirts of a small town where the population was sparse. He makes quick work of setting up wards to keep spirits and living beings away, and continued onwards.

Song Lan never feared death. Just like Xing Chen in their ideologies – if they could turn their views into a positive force, to something tangible and of aid, then it would be this very ethos that would keep them immortal in the minds of men, surpassing their physical bodies.

Death was an irony to Song Lan at first. The stench of it made his skin crawl, intensifying the impulse to carve away the spidery veins that marked his skin, making him bear the stigma of something he once fearlessly cut down without a second thought; to cleanse the world of its impurities. Leaving behind wounds that would never heal, never close, yet never fester.

He returned to Yi City once again, knowing that bringing Xing Chen back to life in this forsaken city of dust and corpses would be cruel, and unfair.

It would remind him of Xue Yang’s manipulation and betrayal.

Of A-Qing’s demise.

Of their deaths.

Through actions not by his own hand, Song Lan could never bring himself to blame Xing Chen for the tragic role he had to play.

The villain had been rid, yet the friend he so wished badly to apologize to and atone for was not standing by his side.

Such was the determination of a man who toiled relentlessly, forgoing sleep and sustenance.

Not that these physical needs were needed for a reanimated corpse, no less.

Such were the efforts he took as he labored day and night into bringing the coffin on the back of a rickety cartwheel to the drab and dilapidated shack. The single goal burned into the back of his eyelids as he sat next to Xing Chen’s body lying in the coffin, the almost nothing weight of his soul in a brown pouch scribbled with red insignias between his hands.

The words of an apology repeated in his head over and over again, but failing to come out of his very own mouth.

Song Lan would achieve what others before him could not – by weaving his own consciousness and stitching Xiao Xing Chen’s soul back together again. The price he had to and was willing to pay.

They spend the next month not quite touching – Song Lan fearful of his newfound strength he struggled to control, vicious scenarios conjured at the back of his mind circling around causing unintentional hurt towards Xing Chen and his seemingly fragile state.

Xing Chen ripped from the claws of his self-imposed punishment and coming to terms that his death was not a resignation, but a chance for forgiveness given by others.

Those four walls weren’t quite home, but it sufficed for the both of them who wanted nothing much but only each other.

Song Lan would tend to Xing Chen’s gradual recovery and Xing Chen turned to weaving baskets, working the dexterity back into his fingers. Eventually, they found a pattern together, similar yet completely opposite of what they were accustomed to in what felt like another lifetime.

Nights when terror seized Xing Chen through nightmares, Song Lan would slide into the bed that he had built for them (Xing Chen, mostly) and hold him so tenderly. Xing Chen would wake with blood run tears soaking through his bandages, clinging tightly to the front of his robes, pressing kisses as light as a butterfly flitting through the flowers onto cool, thin lips.

I’m here, Song Lan would soothe repeatedly, a mantra that calmed hiccupping sobs broken by shuddering breaths into deep, even breathing.

In the darkness only illuminated by full moon, laid Song Lan and Xiao Xing Chen in a tender embrace. Separated only by the planes of existence - one, a dead man who walks amongst the living. Another, who's alive but borders so close to death. Song Lan finds it easier to shake off the dread that twists at his guts, that one day Xiao Xing Chen would traipse over the fine line between living and a place where he could barely follow after. Xiao Xing Chen gradually learns to overlook past his mistakes, turning the endless compassion he once had for others onto himself.

Eventually, they would make their way back to A-Qing’s grave. Song Lan was never fully certain if Xing Chen had the capacity to handle his grief right in front of her small, marked gravesite. However, he gave him privacy and a wide berth to grieve alone; knowing that Xing Chen’s newfound purpose would give him the strength to tide through soft anguished cries and blood-soaked bandages.

They take a small piece of rock surrounding her grave back with them, as a memory in honor of the brave girl that so relentlessly tried to seek justice for her Dao Zhang, back to a rightful place where they could settle and finally call home.

#mdzs #the untamed #cql #ficlet #Err writes #personal #Song Lan #Song ZiChen #Xiao Xing Chen #Xue Yang #A Qing #i'm no good with tags ;-;

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bagginsfucker · 3 years

Audio

Major angsty Bagginshield vibes that I get from First Love/Late Spring... yes, I’m crying but lemme just explain ok

‘The black hole of the window where you sleep, The night breeze carries something sweet, A peach tree’

This is Bilbo wandering Erebor while Thorin makes the company search for the Arkenstone. He’s obviously all alone in this huge, dark and dilapidated palace (which he has major trouble navigating, internal compass goes out the window underground), feels guilty as hell for keeping the stone from Thorin, but he just knows something is not right with him, hence ‘the black hole of the window where you sleep’ - the dragon sickness is breeding greed in Thorin’s heart while he seems to not even notice the way it affects his own behaviour, like if he were asleep. Then in contrast to this very dour situation, we have the adorably sweet moments where Thorin is 100% himself, literally putting Mithril on Bilbo in front of the whole company is the ‘peach tree’ and ‘something sweet’. Despite not being himself he still trusts Bilbo too! He suspects the Company, his own people but not Bilbo.

‘Wild women don't get the blues, But I find that lately I've been crying like a tall child’

This verse shows how haunted Bilbo is: Thorin is alive and (relatively) well in his Mountain, Bilbo having effectively done exactly what he was hired for, but he turns the Hobbit away, he is cruel, paranoid, selfish and does not care for the well being of the Company. Bilbo is understandably sad, he’s practically followed a hot dwarf across the lands thinking he’s definitely not misinterpreting the ‘hey little burglar you could steal my heart while you’re at it’ vibes and now Thorin is acting like Bilbo is just any other burglar or stranger, and that they hadn’t become friends lovers through the journey. Also I think that ‘wild wom[a]n’ links to Bilbo!pre-adventure. Which seems a bit confusing but I’ll explain - before the adventure he’s a ‘wild wom[a]n’. A respectable Hobbit, the head of the Baggins family, he sticks to the status quo and he’s comfortable at home, has everything he needs and doesn’t want to change that, but that all changes because of Thorin and his Company. ‘Tall child’ is just a short joke at Bilbo’s expense cause I need it.

‘So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, Please don't say you love me... One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I'm on, baby. Tell me "don't" so I can crawl back in’

Ok this is where I want to sob my eyes out!!!! This part is where we get Thorin’s perspective. A part of Thorin is actually really aware of what’s happening, it’s like he is watching another person’s actions but he knows that it is himself. He can see what he’s doing but he can’t stop himself. Every time Bilbo approaches him he knows he’s hurting the Hobbit, he can see on Bilbo’s face just how tired and lonely and absolutely done he is, but every time he cannot stop himself from confessing his suspicions or simply turning the Hobbit away to look for the stone. The ‘please don’t say you love me’ just straight up hurts my soul - Thorin knows he’s losing Bilbo after the adventure, Thorin knows that Bilbo will return to the safe and sunny shire, but he also knows that he’s losing the Hobbit right now through every harsh word and order and every step closer to war with the Men and Elves. So he doesn’t want Bilbo to speak his feelings, he doesn’t want to have the Hobbit so close and almost have everything just to lose him when it’s all over. ‘One word from you and I would jump off of this ledge I’m on, baby.’ reminds me obviously of the battlements scene, but also when Thorin pulls Bilbo aside to confess his suspicions of the Company. His devotion and trust in Bilbo make me feel like the part of him that’s still Thorin really would follow Bilbo anywhere, and that instinct is strong enough to let that show through his sickness.

‘And I was so young when I behaved twenty five, Yet now I find I've grown into a tall child.’

I think this is a little ‘what-if’ moment for Bilbo. He’s struggling so much between giving Thorin what he desperately wants, the Arkenstone, thus making him happy - and what he desperately wants for Thorin - Bilbo wants Thorin to prosper, to be free of his sickness, to be the King that Bilbo knows he is, to help him out of the war that he is starting. But there is a second layer, the guilt that just taints both of these options. Thorin trusts Bilbo so much and yet Bilbo is completely betraying him every second. So of course, Bilbo is like about how things would be so much better if they were both younger, or if Smaug had never razed the mountain etc. basically your fav AU where Bilbo (essentially Hobbit royalty) is married off to Thorin (literal Dwarf royalty). And of course, another short joke because Bilbo is definitely a tall child.

‘And I don't wanna go home yet, Let me walk to the top of the big night sky.’

Once again referring to Bilbo returning to the Shire. He doesn’t want to return home even though he’s literally having the worst time in the mountain, wrestling between Thorin’s sickness and Bilbo’s own horrific conscience. ‘Let me walk to the top of the big night sky’ is such a beautiful image and this is what is says to me; Bilbo wants to replace the greed in Thorin’s heart. He wants to mean more to Thorin than the Arkenstone does. Thorin is the big night sky, Hobbits love walking - I don’t have the words but I hope you get it.

‘Please hurry leave me. I can't breathe …’

Both perspectives simultaneously. Thorin’s as he holds Bilbo above the battlements, he sees, he knows and he feels what he’s doing, he wants Bilbo to leave lest he hurt the Hobbit: ‘hurry leave me’. Thorin is also just so shocked though, possibly the part of him that is sick just wonders how could Bilbo betray him in this way??, ‘I can’t breathe’. I also think of Thorin as he lays dying. He wishes for Bilbo to be spared the heartbreak of living without him: ‘please hurry leave me’. We get Bilbo’s perspective at the same point, Thorin lays dying, his mind is finally clear, he’s taking back his words, finally speaking of his feelings... and then he is gone.

#i have so many more of these music deconstructions #literally an entire playlist :')#bagginshield #Thilbo #thorin oakenshield #the hobbit #tolkien #bilbo baggins #mitski #bury me at makeout creek #bagginsfucker #yes im breaking my heart but i gotta get this out of my brain

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dykeza · 3 years

Text

Man bitches on tiktok and Twitter be like “jeez techno apologists how’s the victim complex?” Like bestie....... your one dimensional understanding of a character within a narrative driven space is showing :/ he doesn’t have a victim complex you’re just not used to characters being morally grey. The world of the dream smp has no main characters everyone has trauma and everyone makes mistakes. Your favs are not exempt from being bad people in the moment and no amount of blaming other characters for acting upon their own moral code is going to change that. You cannot say characters like Techno have a victim complex without understanding that they have been used and been betrayed and have every right to be angry and be bad people and it is not their job to be nice to your fav no matter how good or bad they are. There are no good or bad people on the dream smp they’re all shitty people they’ve all done bad because they’re human. They make mistakes and they sometimes apologize and they sometimes don’t and you are in no place to blame someone for having a victim complex when they quite literally operate on a different narrative field than us. It’s in the same vein as people saying “Vriska is a terrible person and she’s irredeemable” she grew up in a completely different society than us and we are in no place to judge her on a scale that simply Does Not Exist In Her Society. We cannot judge Techno for things frowned upon in our society because He Does Not Live In It. The dream smp is its own universe the characters have their own origins and cultures things that are terrible to us are normal to them not because they refuse to learn but because Our Perception Of Morality Doesn’t Exist To Them. We are the audience, they don’t know we’re there.

TLDR: techno doesn’t have a victim complex because of many things that my mutuals have already explained and ALSO because concepts already existing in our society do not exist in the narrative society of the DreamSMP so we cannot judge those characters based off of solely our moral compass as they can not and Do Not Want to fit into our understanding of right vs wrong. Our version of right vs wrong doesn’t exist to them.

Even shorter tldr: shut the fuck up and stop overusing terms you have just learned from Google and do some FUCKING RESEARCH. You look like a jackass simply slapping a label onto three dimensional characters all the fucking time and frankly if you continue to be annoyingly stubborn in your understanding of characters IM gonna start cyber bullying you into the fucking ground.

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online-vibes · 4 years

Text

TW:// SEXUAL HARRASSMENT

these men right here scarred me mentally to the point i can barely fall asleep at night. kinda like right now.

before i go into detail, I will say this, I was a fan of them for 3 whole years. In the midst of those 3 long years, I went to every event they had occuring in my state. I used to listen to their music daily and had a fan account, in which I no longer use. Point being, I was a basically a stan of them and tried to defend them majority of the time. However, if you know this band, you would know they had a lot of bs going on behind the scenes. To sum it up, they weren’t innocent as they appeared. I knew that. But, I swallowed my pride and stood by them like a lost puppy until late June. I will not go into detail about the allegations the surface, but know that I believe every victim that came forward. And I bet you can guess what this post is going to be about.

It’s really hard for me to type this right now, but this has to be said to protect other minors who is a fan of them. Also, if you don’t believe me right now, I suggest to stop reading at this point because what I will be discussing is 100% true.

In 2018, I was sexually harrassed by Edwin Honoret during the funktion tour.

If you went to the funktion tour, you would know that they had meet & greets & early entry vip passes. At the time, I scored meet & greet passes at the last minute before my concert so I was geeked and nervous. This would be my first time meeting them(as a whole) so you can only imagine how I felt.

When it was my turn to greet them, I instantly froze. Like, I deadass stared at them for a couples of minutes, until Edwin spoke up, asking if I wanted a group hug. I eagerly nodded my head, though nothing came out of my mouth due to the fact I was on the verge of passing out. And so we all gathered together in a tight close-knit hug. However, in the midst of this hug, one of the guys, Edwin to be exact, nearly grabbed my butt when he wrapped his arms around my waist. I nearly froze when this happened. I waited until they pulled away to quickly explain my pose and tried to convince myself that didn’t happen because no one wants to admit that they have been basically touched inappropriately.

It’s 2020 now. It took me 2 whole years to talk about this because I really push this horrid memory at the back of my brain and basically pretended like everything was fine. When in reality, I was drowning. Hence this post. I didn’t think anyone would believe me. I told my family and was basically victim blamed by my mother. “These things happens at those type of concerts,” She said. I understand what she meant but at the time, I just wanted her to express some sort of compassion towards me. I didn’t recieve that. I really wanted just one person to believe me.

But, the story doesn’t end there. That same night, Nick Mara wanted me and a few other minors to go backstage with him. I wish I would’ve caught it on video but I was too perplexed and thought it was a joke. In retrospect, he was most likely serious. It all happened so fast. It was only me and a few other girls who were most likely minors at barrier taking pictures, trying to relieve the night. We see nick appear backstage. He notices us and waves then suddenly motions his hands towards backstage as if he’s saying: “come back here.” The other girls giggled, yet I only nervously laughed. I had an eerily feeling behind the ordeal, yet again, I shook it off. Now it all makes sense. That man only cared about one thing and it doesn’t matter if they’re a minor or not. He needs serious counseling & a jail cell.

Moving forward to the previous year, 2019. My dumbself bought not one but TWO meet & greet tickets to the fomo tour. I was suppose to meet them in my current state & two other states, but thank god the show after mine got cancelled.

Anyways, I wasn’t half nervous as I was meeting them this time due to my sleep deprivation state. (I was outside for 8 freaking hours, queueing). If you went to the fomo tour, you would know about the outrageous rules they had. One of them being that you couldn’t pose with them, in which all of us eventually did. Basically, they were required to give you a group hug when you first walk in to meet them.

Well, when it was my turn, I wanted to stand in between two memebers, so I had to politely to Brandon to switch with someone, but he wouldn’t. Edwin saw this yet he kept insisting on me to join their little group hug. Eventually, I did and Brandon did move, but I could tell he was a little moody. I don’t know if it was because of me or not. Just before leaving my m&g, I accidentally tripped over Brandon’s shoe, nearly losing my balance and gave me an attitude apology. Yet again, I was perplexed to say anything so all I did was smile and nod.

Look, I know he probably had something going on that day and I respect that, but that fucking moment replayed in my brain until the damn concert started. Also, I don’t believe that he was in a bad mood at all. I just think he didn’t like me. I asked someone how her experience and mentioned brandon and she said he was completely fine. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy because we all have our days but, he needs an attitude check. For some reason, I always felt like we wouldn’t get along because he seems so shallow. You can call me dramatic, I don’t care.

Now, you can choose to believe me or not. I really don’t mind. I wouldn’t do this just for the hell out of it. I’m trying to let you all know who you’re really stanning. I know what I mentioned probably “isn’t that serious” or that I should get over it but that’s not how trauma works. This summer has been hell for me. One moment I’m fine then the next I’m drowning again. I’ve been groomed before so this situation literally triggered old memories I didn’t even know I had. I can’t even listen to their music and even reading their damn tweets gets my heart racing as if I’m going to pass out.

I apologize if this post is really long. I just needed to get this out. If you’re looking for proof, meet them yourselves & you will eventually see. Maybe they’ve changed. I highly doubt it, considering Edwin is back to his manipulative tatics along with Nick’s ignorance to the whole ordeal. I can’t even speak on the other three. But I will say this, be careful who you become a fan of. Do not stay silent to try to protect someone who wouldn’t even save you in shallow water. It’s okay to speak out against your favs, even if it hurts their barely-there reputation.

#prettymuch #metoo allegations #boy bands #nick mara #edwin honoret #brandon arreaga #austin porter #zion kuwonu #sexually harassing

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panharmonium · 4 years

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Hey! Loving the Merlin takes on ur blog, and I wanted to ask—what are your opinions on Morgana? Haven’t seen a lot of talk abt her. I loved her, esp in season 1, which is also my fav season cuz after that I feel like things started to make less and less sense, lmao. I understand her descent into villainy (mostly, but why does she start to hate Gwen so quickly? feel like that could’ve been handled better) but I would’ve loved to see some solidarity between her and merlin!!!!!

hi there! :D

so, i LOVE morgana. most of what i’ve said about her has been in the tags of gifsets that are now scattered haphazardly around my blog; i don’t think there are larger pieces yet besides my finale round-up (urgh lol), and most of that is just a function of time - i can’t possibly write expansive tracts of meta about every single merlin thing i love, because i love the whole show; i’d never leave my computer again. i generally sit down to write long essays about whatever grabs my mind at a particular moment, even though there are a bazillion other things out there i love just as much. XD

but with morgana, i also feel like part of the reason i haven’t written much about her is because up until three and a half weeks ago (....oh my god, was it THREE AND A HALF WEEKs??? IT FEELS LIKE A YEAR) i hadn’t even finished the series yet, and the whole time i was watching this show i was sort of...waiting to see whether they would finally tie her arc together. i didn’t feel like i could say too much about what was happening with her, because my evaluation of her arc was going to depend on where the writers finally chose to take it and whether they brought it to the place i thought it needed to go.

and...they didn’t, obviously, which is what i sort of suspected would happen, though i was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt all the way up until the end, because i don’t believe they ever wrote themselves into a corner with her. there were things they could have handled with more depth, definitely, but i do not believe that they ever dug themselves into a hole they couldn’t climb out of.

i. what happened to you, morgana

essentially my opinion (just mine; nobody else is obligated to share it) of morgana is this: that the series ended before her arc was over.

to me, season 5 was the nadir in our characters’ journeys. they had reached their lowest point, their...“darkest hour,” to quote the show itself. and in many familiar storytelling formats (the ones that have the most in common with bbc merlin, at least), we take our characters to a moment where they hit rock bottom, where everything is going wrong and things seem hopeless, and then we light a spark under their butts that starts the process where they fight their way out of it. the nadir isn’t the endpoint of the curve; it’s the point where characters start climbing their long, slow way out of the pit. it’s what they have to overcome in order to earn their eventual triumphant ending.

to me, season 5 was that nadir, for morgana and everyone else. i never would have imagined season 5 to be the final season of the show, if i hadn’t known it was beforehand. i would have read season 5 as the show’s ‘empire strikes back’ moment. the episode that ends with our team losing, but with a whole other episode remaining where they can fight to Make It Right.

i view merlin bbc as tantamount to a cancelled tv show, to be honest. i know that’s not necessarily what happened (though it does feel pretty weird that they officially announced S5 would be the final season only four weeks before the finale was about to air?? very bizarre), but regardless of the actual behind-the-scenes-whatever, the fact of the matter is that for me, the series doesn’t end. it stops. and those two things are not the same.

this is particularly relevant to morgana because, as you said, there are aspects of her character arc that weren’t handled as deftly as they could have been, but if the show had brought morgana’s arc to the place where it felt like they were going in 5.09, they could have rescued so much of what came before.

to get into more detail -

i think the biggest issue with morgana’s arc for me isn’t so much what she does, it’s what we’re not shown as she does it.

i fully believe that morgana would eventually start working to ensure uther’s downfall. (obviously. she’s been presented as the voice of moral authority on this show since episode one, and there’s no reason to believe that she wouldn’t ultimately start rebelling against the king’s oppressive policies.) i believe that she would reject arthur, eventually. and i believe that she would reject gwen, too. but i don’t believe the show illustrates enough how painful this would be for her, or how conflicted it would make her feel.

and again, as i said, there are my own personal opinions, couched in...some personal experience with certain kinds of family conflict - but i do understand where morgana’s bitterness toward arthur and gwen comes from. arthur, for all that he’s “a better man than [his] father,” never fully breaks with uther the way morgana does. he has his own little rebellions, yes, but ultimately he always falls in line. he tolerates his father’s actions even if he doesn’t necessarily agree with them, and he continues to support uther even after uther is revealed to have lied about being morgana’s illegitimate father. and because of this tacit acceptance of uther’s poor behavior, arthur reaps benefits and privileges galore. morgana is cast out with nothing, whereas arthur, who didn’t even take a stand for justice, wants for nothing. arthur is sitting pretty on the throne of camelot because he continued to bestow his honor and respect upon a man who deserved neither of those things, because he chose the villain of the series over his sister, even knowing what uther did to her. and that’s gutting, for her. he betrayed her.

(and there are things to be said on arthur’s end of this, too, of course - morgana doesn’t ever confide in him; she doesn’t come to him for help or give him a chance to even be informed about what happened to her before she jumps into invading camelot and dethroning uther - so for arthur, her sudden turnaround comes as a total shock, and HE feels betrayed, like he has no choice but to fight her - i mean, it’s just a big mess.)

but i understand why she hates him. he continues to stand with a man who did demonstrable evil, despite the harm that was specifically done to morgana herself. and by shutting up and letting atrocities be committed in front of him, arthur escapes the harm that morgana suffers for speaking up. i understand why morgana is so bitter about it.

and gwen is a very similar situation - from morgana’s point of view, gwen is playing the arthur to arthur’s uther. gwen sides with arthur over morgana, despite knowing full well that arthur’s policies harm people with magic. gwen abandons morgana for her love interest, and for morgana that’s just like - “why would you do that? i was your friend before he ever cared about you, i loved you before he ever did - don’t you see the evil he’s perpetuating? don’t you care what he does to people like me?”

that’s why morgana tells merlin, “don’t think i don’t understand loyalty just because i’ve got no one left to be loyal to.” she feels like everybody who supposedly cared for her ultimately dumped her because her situation interfered with their comfortable, morally uncomplicated lives. they weren’t willing to acknowledge what was done to her, and they stuck by the man responsible for it, and it seems incomprehensible to her, that they would make that choice, when his misdeeds are known and out in the open. i can’t blame her for wanting to raze the city to the ground.

HOWEVER.

while i believe that all these things are completely plausible, i don’t believe that the series shows us appropriately how these things would be tearing morgana apart inside, underneath the rage and the armored front of ‘you brought this on yourself, so burn in hell, i don’t care.’

there are moments where the show gets it right. when morgana wakes up after uther dies and says that she felt his pain - it’s not presented as gloating; she’s - almost confused. uncertain. like she doesn’t know what she feels. when she confronts arthur at the end of season 4 (i thought we were friends/as did i) there’s real pain under the surface there. when they confront each other at the beginning of season 5, too (what happened to you, morgana/i grew up) - you can feel the undercurrent of something deeper there, too. and that moment with mordred in 5.09, when he appeals to her humanity (i hope one day you will find the love and compassion which used to fill your heart) - that is an amazing scene. the show absolutely nails that moment. morgana hesitates. you can see the grief and the - the conflict written all over her face. it’s perfect. it’s exactly the turn i would have expected morgana’s arc to be taking, at that time in the series.

but then the show just stopped. and without taking morgana’s arc further - without following it through all the way to its conclusion - there’s never any resolution to all the ways the show dropped the ball earlier. all the moments where morgana appears to be just...evil-smirking her way through her revenge, the way she suddenly seems to have no feelings for gwen whatsoever, the utterly lost opportunity that was the “enchanted gwen” arc (which could have been such a powerful exploration of their broken relationship) - all those could have eventually made sense and fit into a narrative where morgana’s conflicted feelings finally begin to escape the stranglehold in which she has them choked, where we start to see the pain of these destroyed relationships rising to the surface.

i can understand how morgana would just - shut off her feelings about these people. she had to close her heart to them - the alternative would have been too painful. but underneath - we know it wouldn’t be that easy. we know it eats at her. and it’s just - so incredibly frustrating that the series was starting to go there - the moment with mordred in 5.09 feels like the beginning of morgana’s big crisis of faith - and then the show just Stops.

so the thing about morgana for me is that, like you said, the show does drop the ball on illustrating her quick descent into evil-villain territory, and they especially drop the ball on her break with gwen, but all of it could have been salvaged, if they had committed to following her arc all the way through to its conclusion. instead they chose to kill her (and everybody else, lol) just as her deep-rooted internal conflicts were finally starting to rise to the surface.

ii. we can find another way/there is no other way (aka the merlin problem)

i’ll say right up front that anything i say here is, as always, just my personal interpretation of things. this is not necessarily the One True Way this show is meant to be understood; it’s just my own preferred read.

i have definitely seen some things in my brief foray into internet fandom that are sort of...piling on merlin for abandoning morgana or “gaslighting” her, most of which seem to be centered around the beginning of episode 2.03, which is weird to me, because the whole point of that episode is that merlin does help morgana, in the end - he’s the one who doesn’t gaslight her. he defies gaius and takes her to the druids, specifically so they can tell her yes, she does have magic. he tries to distract the attacking knights in order to enable morgana to escape with the druids permanently, like she wants. and when the attempt fails, and they’re brought back to camelot, he comes to morgana’s chambers specifically to check on her and to assure her that he won’t reveal her secret to anyone, and she’s grateful for this - she thanks him, she’s appreciative of everything he did for her, she feels comforted to know the truth and to know that someone else knows it, too. this episode ends with their relationship at a high point - it’s overwhelmingly positive, and it doesn’t take a nosedive until 1.12, when morgana gets in way over her head and merlin thinks she’s trying to murder them all. (and even in that episode, it’s worth it to note, merlin is still covering for her magic in front of arthur, giving her chances.)

(and obviously also, of course, the end of that particular situation gets Real Bad Real Fast, which could be a whole post in and of itself, so let’s stay focused on the earlier eps, for now.)

the criticism of merlin in those earlier episodes seems to stem solely from the fact that he doesn’t out himself to morgana, which i can understand - i mean, i like the idea of a ‘merlin+morgana secret magic squad’ AU as much as anyone - but i’ll be honest and say that nowadays, i’m not quite as willing to condemn him for it as i might have been on my first viewing.

i’m not willing to condemn him for it at all, actually.

(and again - as i said, these are my own opinions! everybody else is welcome to have different opinions! we all engage with media differently, and there isn’t a right or wrong way to approach this situation, just whichever way feels best to you.)

so, for me, i’m not interested anymore in telling merlin that he should have revealed himself to anyone, at that point in the story. it would be different if he had been like - continuing to tell morgana ‘oh, no, you don’t have magic, don’t be crazy,’ or if he had been pretending to hate magic like everyone else so he could blend in, but he doesn’t do that, at the end of the episode. he sends her to the druids. he chases after her when he realizes she's in danger. he openly acknowledges her magic, he supports her in having it, he makes sure she knows she has nothing to fear from him. by the end of 2.03, he’s gone to great lengths to help her; he’s already made certain that she knows he’s on her side and that she can trust him. she clearly knows that he accepts her and that he supports her - those are his responsibilities to her as a fellow human and as a friend, and those are exactly the responsibilities he makes sure to fulfill. she knows her secret is safe with him.

now - whether or not merlin feels safe enough to out himself, after making sure morgana knows he accepts and supports her, is his own business.

i think there are a number of reasons why it wouldn’t be fair for me to criticize merlin for continuing to conceal his secret, the first of which is something i already mentioned in another piece - that a marginalized person’s first responsibility is to their own safety, when forced into hiding under oppressive social conditions. merlin isn’t obligated to reveal himself for anybody. he’s not obligated to put himself in danger out of some kind of...responsibility to the community. (not at this point, anyway. it gets more complicated later, as merlin becomes more powerful, which i also address in that other piece, but that’s all in the future for him and not relevant at this moment.)

i think it would be easy for me to forget that merlin isn’t safe, in the early seasons. we’re so used to thinking of merlin as ‘the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth,’ because that’s what we keep being told he’s going to become, but again, that’s all so far in the future for him. merlin in the early seasons can do some things with his abilities, but not consistently, and not to the level where we can reasonably expect him to resist the entirety of camelot’s army, if they were to come for him. merlin is in real danger, and he’s not evil for being unwilling to share a secret about himself that would ensure his death, if it somehow got back to the wrong people.

second - i don’t think it would be fair for me to discount merlin’s personal history, either. merlin’s life didn’t start in camelot, and he hasn’t even been in camelot for all that long, comparatively, by the time we get to S2. season one takes place over a few months, starting in either spring or summer and ending in the fall (after the referenced harvest in 1.10/1.11, but before winter sets in). the weather is nice by time season 2 starts, so we can probably assume that S2 takes place once winter has passed (although, it’s technically possible that S2 takes place over the same autumn as S1, I guess...but it’s not made clear to us, timeline-wise.) either way, we just really have to remember that merlin’s stay in camelot by the time we reach 2.03 is still this blip compared to the rest of his life.

it would be very easy for me to say that merlin should have told morgana, that there’s no way she would ever have given him up - and i probably would have said that very thing, after the first time i watched the show - but like - nowadays, i really think i have to step back from that certainty and be a little more gentle. we say we “know” that morgana wouldn’t have willingly betrayed merlin’s secret at that point, and sure, i agree, that’s probably true - but does merlin know that?

of course not!

i think he hopes that. i think he would dearly like to believe that. i also think merlin grew up in a situation where he couldn’t fully trust even the people he’d known all his life, with two (vital!!!) exceptions, and he has been in camelot with a bunch of brand-new people for less than a year, and he can’t be certain of them, however much he wants to be. (and that’s not even considering the possibility of accidental betrayals, or coerced ones - remember, the witchfinder shows up in S2 also, as just one example.)

remember that exchange merlin has with freya, later this season?

“you can’t always trust people.”

“i know. that’s why i left home.”

merlin is not used to showing himself to people. he has been taught all his life to NEVER, EVER show himself to anybody. everyone in camelot who finds out about his magic finds out either by accident (like gaius or lancelot), or necessity (like freya and gilli - though gilli is interesting, because i think merlin’s decisions there are motivated precisely by the choices he didn’t make with morgana - which i’ll go into more later).

in twenty-odd years, merlin has only ever told one person about his magic. and even that generous assumption requires a little bit of inferencing for us to determine, though i think it’s likely enough, if not confirmable.

(i am, in case it’s unclear, referencing 1.10, when merlin is explaining to will why hunith sent him away to camelot: “when she found out you knew - she was so angry.” that, to me, has always been a signifier that merlin told will about his magic, as opposed to will finding out by coincidence. i know there are a lot of headcanons floating around out there about various...accidental situations that may have occurred which forced merlin to reveal his magic in front of will, and those are all obviously totally fun to play with, but after hearing this particular line - i never understood that to be the case, to be honest. we’ve seen hunith enough to have a pretty solid understanding of her character. she and merlin are always easy and gentle together, she’s so kind and calm and thoughtful - i can’t imagine that she wouldn’t have understood, if there had been some kind of accident that forced merlin’s hand. she’d be just as afraid for his future safety, of course, and she would have wished he’d told her right away, but she wouldn’t have been “so angry.”

...she might, however, have been “so angry” if she’d found out that merlin had specifically undermined every sacrifice she’d ever made to keep him safe/ignored every single one of her warnings/rejected every cautious thing she’d been telling him for his entire life and TOLD somebody about his magic when it wasn’t remotely necessary. that’s the only scenario i can imagine that would prompt merlin to say “she was SO angry” in that half-awed, half-intimidated tone, with that little headshake, like it was such a singular event, like it’s still formidable for him to remember.)

so anyway, that said - it’s too easy for me to say ‘he should have told morgana/gwaine/gwen etc; they would never have turned on him,’ as if it would have been such a simple thing for him to do, as if there were no dangers associated with their knowledge even if they would never have willingly given him up, as if he was refusing to do it because he didn’t want to, or because his fears were overblown, or because he was foolish for thinking they would ever hate him for his gifts. i think that really minimizes the reality of his struggle, and the danger of his situation. without the pressure of some crisis to force his hand, merlin has only ever willingly revealed himself to one person. that person is dead. that person died specifically ensuring that merlin could stay safe and hidden from the rest of the world, morgana included - merlin’s continued secrecy is a gift that was bought at an impossibly high price, and it’s not simple for him to contemplate squandering it, especially with no guarantee that things will turn out okay.

because there IS no guarantee that things will turn out okay! a lot of the “merlin should have told morgana” online talk centers around the idea that knowing about merlin’s magic would have kept morgana from feeling alone/betrayed, thus preventing her from turning to the “evil” methods she uses later, but again, i don’t think we actually know that at all. solidarity between merlin and morgana would have been a nice thing, definitely; i’d like to see that too, but i don’t think the fact that she and merlin are both magic-users would have guaranteed harmony between them. merlin and gilli are both magic-users, too, and merlin expects this to be enough to convince gilli to “see the light,” but the fact of the matter is that merlin and gilli just have very different ideas about what it means to do the right thing. merlin thinks it means biding his time and waiting for change to come from the top (because he’s been TOLD by greater powers that this is the right course of action, of course; let’s note again that merlin’s situation is extremely complicated) whereas gilli thinks that doing things merlin’s way makes merlin complicit with an unjust regime. gilli says ‘i shouldn’t haven’t to wait for someone else to give me my rights. i’m going to take them myself.’

the fact that merlin and gilli share a bond as magic-users doesn’t protect them from an ideological divide that puts them on different sides of the same struggle. i’m not sure that merlin and morgana wouldn’t have still ended up in the same situation, eventually, if merlin had chosen to out himself to her - but doing so would certainly have made him a thousand times more vulnerable to attack.

third - it’s also important to remember that if we’re going to hold merlin to this rigid ‘he should have told morgana everything/confided in her/trusted her at the expense of possibly his own life despite the fact that she exists at the completely opposite end of a rigid social hierarchy as him and he’s known her for less than a year’ then maybe we ought to raise the bar for morgana, as well. morgana is very clearly shown to trust and appreciate merlin at the end of 2.03, but by 2.11, when alvarr and mordred show up and convince her to steal the crystal of neahtid, she doesn’t hesitate or come to merlin at all, despite the fact that we never see him do anything to lose her trust between then and now. she never asks him for help, even when she’s uncertain about alvarr’s methods, and that leaves merlin in the dark, only privy to confusing images of her sneaking around and acting suspicious. and even with that, merlin doesn’t condemn her for what she does, the same way he doesn’t blame her when she tries to kill uther in 1.12 - he helps arthur retrieve the crystal, but he doesn’t give morgana up. and he doesn’t hold any kind of grudge, either - in the next episode, merlin doesn’t even suspect her, at first - he thinks it must be her magic protecting her; he doesn’t even consider the idea that she has anything to do with the illness, not until kilgharrah tells him.

and even after that, he STILL covers for her in front of arthur, and he gives her a chance to come clean to him - but she doesn’t take it.

i’m not condemning her for that - i get why she would be afraid to admit to such a big mess - she was in way over her head and didn’t know what to do. but if we’re going to cut morgana this much slack and accept her fears as a valid enough reason to block a potential moment of connection, then we have to accept that merlin’s fears were valid, too - morgana’s descent into “villainy” was not something we can pin solely on merlin’s already overburdened shoulders. the end of season 2 was not some kind of one-way failure.

in summary: merlin and morgana were trapped in an impossible situation. they were both victims of the same oppressive regime, and both of them had very real, very dangerous obstacles to letting themselves trust in and reach out to others, and i think pitting them against each other while forgetting who the real villain was is unfair to them both.

also, a brief postscript: circling back to the first section of this piece, where i talked about how season 5 just stopped before anyone’s arc was finished - merlin and morgana could have had so much more, if we’d gotten another season. their relationship is really in the pits, by season 5, but there is this deleted scene where arthur is reflecting on what happened to morgana and blaming himself, and merlin says arthur shouldn’t take the blame, that “there were others better placed to help morgana” (implicating, of course, himself) and that was SUCH a jumping off point for their story to have continued. merlin wanted to do better by her. he blamed himself for what happened to her. and morgana, for her part, was starting to question herself, as we saw during her confrontation with mordred in 5.09.

there were places for this relationship to go. it wasn’t a lost cause. but the writers decided that it made more sense to just...eliminate everybody at the exact moment when things were poised to possibly change.

the story wasn’t over at the end of season 5. but the show was, and i am always going to regret those many lost opportunities.

#the once and future slowburn #meta #replies #long post

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iggy-theeskimo · 4 years

Text

Thanks for the tag sweetie @he4rtofsteel💖✨

1. What are you wearing? Jeans that look like grandpa's jeans, a colorful crop top with a lilac knit sweater.

2. Ever been in love? Of course, Grace Slick, Brian Jones, David Gilmour, Syd Barrett, Nick Mason, David Bowie.

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Yup.

4. How tall are you? 1,60cm (I don't know how much it would be in feet and inches, sorry)

5. How much do you weigh? Around 56kg.

6. Any tattoos you want? I would like it but I would have to think of a tattoo that I want too much, because I am very indecisive and it may be that after a while that tattoo does not mean anything to me, but I would like to tattoo an octopus on my left arm (like John Frusciante's, don't ask why).

7. Any piercings you want? For now, nah. Not my favorite thing.

8. OTP? A what? I'm🤡

9. Favourite show(s)? I don't watch a lot TV but I like That 70's Show, Seindfeld, The Office, Game of Thrones and a lot of varied documentaries.

10. Favourite band? My favorite bands always vary actually, but the one that I consider my favorite forever is Pink Floyd (I think it was obvious)

11. Something you miss? I miss being able to go to the outskirts of the city for a while, being among the mountains and putting my feet in the river, I hope I can do it again soon.

12. Favourite song(s)? Well, there are many but the ones I have been listening to often for now are: Wild World by Cat Stevens, My Sweet Lord by George Harrison, Always See Your Face by Love, See-Saw by Pink Floyd and I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James.

13. How old are you? I turn 16 in a few days :)

14. Zodiac Sign? Virgo like Freddy Mercury and Roger Waters.

15. Hair Colour? Dark blonde but not so dark

16. Favourite Quote? Many. “Solo en sueños, en la poesía, en el juego —encender una vela, andar con ella por el corredor— nos asomamos a veces a lo que fuimos antes de ser esto que vaya a saber si somos” by Julio Cortázar in his book Rayuela. ("Only in dreams, in poetry, in games - lighting a candle, walking with it down the corridor - do we sometimes peek into what we were before being this, who will know if we are").

17. Favourite singer? Janis Joplin, Freddy Mercury, David Gilmour, Robert Plant, Judy Garland, Florence Welch, Joan Baez and surely I forget many.

18. Favourite colour(s)? Brown, dark green, yellow, gold, purple and silver.

19. Loud music or soft music? Both actually, quiet music low and hard music louder.

20. Where do you go when you’re sad? I like to be in nature (same as the girl who nominated me)

21. How long does it take you to shower? 30 minutes/one hour lmao, I like to take a relaxing bath but it depends on how long I have.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 20 or 30 minutes.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? Nope, I'm pretty calm. In 2018 a classmate wanted to hit me after school for being a weirdo but I was able to stop the fight in time, something bad would have happened to me because I can't hit anyone ;)

24. Turn on(s)? Effective communicator, being kind to others, helping others, respectful towards others, someone who doesn’t like conflict and prefers peace, compassion, good sense of humour, groovy sense of style, good taste in music, non-verbal communication, respecting my need for space and respecting that I value my personal freedom, open minded but has their own opinions, willing to enlighten me, being able to let go and be free with me, piercing eyes, nice smile, being able to understand me (same as the girl who nominated me again)

25. Turn off(s)? Manipulation or toxic actions, being disrespectful, inappropriate jokes, believing that you are better than everyone, not being grateful, not respecting my personal space and personal things, etc, etc.

26. The reason I joined Tumblr? I wanted to get into a place where I can share my nonsense and taste, share ideas and jokes in a non-toxic place like Twitter. Luckily the people I have talked here are nice and the pink floyd community and other bands are pretty good💖✨.

27. Fears? Many people are afraid of the death of oneself but I am more afraid of the death of my loved ones, the ocean gives me a lot of panic (although I would love to dive) and I am afraid of being standing next to a statue or something carved with shape that is bigger than me, like the cat litter statues in Egyptian.

28. Last thing that made you cry? The movie about Judy Garland, gosh💔.

29. Last time you cried? Last night.

30. Meaning behind your URL? Iggy the Eskimo is the nickname of the naked girl who is in some photos of Syd Barrett's The Madcap Laughs, and I love her so much (not much of a story behind my URL really).

31. Last book you read? Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, very good.

32. Last song you listened to? Green is the Colour by Pink Floyd.

33. Last show you watched? The Office.

34. Last person you talked to? My grandma or my boyfriend, I don't remember.

35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted? They are my grandmother and my boyfriend, I mean ?

36. Favorite food? Pasta :) if you want my heart just give me pasta. And I'm trying to start being a vegetarian.

37. Place you want to visit? I want to travel all the world really, but Greece, London, Scotland, India and Nordic countries are my fav.

38. Last place you were? The last place where I traveled? To Bariloche, south of Argentina in January of this year :)

39. Do you have a crush? Yup.

40. Last time you kissed someone? Some days ago i guess.

41. Last time you were insulted and what was it? It's weird that people insult me because I don't usually do bad things and mostly when I'm surrounded by people they rarely notice me, so I really don't remember when they last insulted me.

42. What color underwear are you wearing? Calm down honey

43. What colour shirt are you wearing? Multicolour, are these t-shirts that are dyed.

44. What colour bottoms are you wearing? Dark blue jeans.

45. Wearing any bracelets? Noup, although I usually wear some.

46. Last sport you played? Maybe volleyball in February at school (I probably played bad).

47. Last song you sang? I sing pieces of songs all day so I don't remember which one was the last one.

48. Last prank call you remember doing? Idk, maybe when I was younger and have friends.

49. Last time you hung out with someone? Loooooooooong time ago.

50. Favourite movie(s)? The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep, The Godfather (all), Judy, Rocketman, The Wall and many that I do not remember lol.

This took me a long time so if you read everything thank you💖I'm not sure if the people I'm nominating have already been nominated but

@artsyhippie @divine-and-decaying @whatdyoumean-interesting @herrmiu (only if you want to) and anyone who wants to ✨

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plutos-ambassador · 4 years

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hello, i am not an active army anymore but since all the yoongi stuff was going down i wanted to see what people were saying and i have very similar opinions to you! being on tiktok there were too many people guilt tripping those who were offended and it honestly pisses me off — they are blindly idolizing people they don’t truly know, using terms like we don’t know them but we rlly don’t, we know camera them. and that’s for all groups. im saying thing as Yoongi biased

i was worried that some on tumblr had similar views. but I dunno it’s worrying how cult like it can be when anyone disagrees and i wish it wasn’t as like this. Especially when they preach about Asian xenophobia but not blm too, they say they preach what BTS teaches but ugh idk I can’t tell if they’re just young or what

i find much more comfort on tumblr for kpop, Twitter is too much sometimes I find usually nicer and more mature people on here lol hope that doesn’t sound mean

oh I completely agree. kpop on Twitter is very toxic and terrifying. especially with the mentality people have that their favs can do no wrong and their fandom isn't problematic. everyone is problematic in some way or another, that's how humans are. and you need to be held accountable.

never hold another human at such a pedastool that you'll accept anything they say or do. they're human and there may comes the day they disappoint you and never allow anyone else to say you're not a real fan simply because you call them out.

it truly is all about “xenophobia” when it comes to bts but they’re not above it with any other kpop group. they’ll come for the media when they’re racist towards bts but ignore it when it comes to any other group. racism is very much alive but the topic in discussion and the forefront right now is blm. and boy when i say that my tl on twitter was DEAD before the yoongi situation. i was disgusted.

you don’t know these people so please stop blindly defending them. defend them when you need to and you have enough information but everyone was defending him on concocted fan theories. i don’t think they understand or maybe they do, about how fast information travels. lies are being circulated and treated as fact and will be used to cite why they are defending him.

I have so much to say on fandom mentality and celebrity martyrdom. please do not use a kpop idol or any celebrity as your moral compass. be your own person before you're a kpop stan

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vohalika · 5 years

Note

hello, this is random but.. could u please tell me some of your fav things about vex? i don't often see people who Really Like Vex and we need more of that

Well, well, well, anon.

I have literally no idea how long it has been since you asked this of me, but rest assured I have not forgotten! Well, okay, I had for a while, then I saw it again and was like “oh, right, huh… And would you look at that, I’m about 100 posts away from 100,000… Wouldn’t that be a good one…”

So. Here we are! An unstructured rambling of all the reasons I really, really love Vex, somewhere between superficial and embarrasingly personal, to celebrate this arbitrary number of things I have spread around on this hell site.

Okay, first of all, the only thing Laura had to say to Kit Buss for the official art was “make her hot”. That is a Statement. And boy did Kit and also everyone deliver on that.

Like seriously. I didn’t use to be a fan of feathers in hair or white armor, but good god does she make it work.

Hey, I said this was going to be extremely superficial

Another thing I really didn’t use to like, twins. Overdone and usually poorly executed. But our girl made a Point out of being as different from her twin as she could be while at the same time being completely believable siblings.

I swear to god I’ll do my absolute best to mention Vax as little as possible. This is not about him.

Third thing I really couldn’t stand! The one, usually female, team member with a pet! Closely related to the one with the nature powers! I don’t know, these just always rubbed me the wrong way in media before, probably because I also never really cared for shows or movies about animals. Fight me.

And yet here she is, and she is not the “won’t somebody think of the children animals!” type of gal and Trinket is amazing and it still ties into her personality on a larger scale without being preachy.

I have a fourth thing. I also really don’t care for elves, ever. Everybody hates them. And then she turns around and makes me cry about the elf thing. Good god.

Yes, watching the first episode way back when was an uphill battle. There’s a reason I started with episode 69 and then watched the rest.

Nice.

Vex has the best worst sense of humor. No, really. I’m not even talking about that time she made a comment about the boy with the shot off fingers not having much of a future as a musician. But I’m also talking about that. And that time Scanlan tried having a meaningful monologue about having a daughter now. “I’ve defined most of my life by the people I slept with, and now…” - “Well, technically, this is still kinda defined by that.”

(Shoutout to Percy “I was just thinking that”)

Also, “We don’t do anything with dignity”, “I only serve gods with big dicks”, “You might live forever, but you will still be fucking ugly”? Girl is iconic, even if her sense if humor is usually pretty inappropriate for the given situation, she just can’t help it. I relate.

On a related note, it is so easy to play a similar archetype and have her just be this always dignified and above the humor kind of stuck-up. It’s basically how most people would have written her (and a certain someone did). But not our girl, oh no.

Also, I recently made a post about this, but we really, really don’t talk enough about how she’s just the leader of the party. She is. No, really, lower your bitch sticks, y’all. She’s the one to talk to the most NPCs, she’s the one to usually say go, and everyone just naturally adheres to her. It’s never forced, it’s never an “I, as the leader” moment, and she doesn’t try to wrestle her way into the role. It’s just what happens naturally.

Which also means she’s good at stepping back and letting other people shine for a bit. But still, Vex is the reason they didn’t just flounder around like a chicken without its head after Scanlan left. Laura was late to two sessions in campaign one; the first one was already in an extended battle scene, and the other was literally spent in a bedroom in hell waitinig for Vex to tell them what to do.

This is why scholars are generally of the opinion that Vex is the only Top in VM. And also what intellectuals refer to as Big Dick Energy.

Let’s talk about what the assholes call Greed. Yes, Vex is, out of all of them, the most pre-occupied with gold and loot. But she NEVER hoards anything for herself, never spends any of her own gold on herself even until the timeskip, leave alone the party funds.

She looks out for the interests of the group, makes sure they get the best possible deals and are paid what they are owed. And she’s the only one to ever worry about money, too, whereas everyone else never bothers to think about it. Hence why her and Vax split the cost of paying their staff after the party spent all the funds early on.

Look, I find her worries very indicative of growing up in poverty with her mom, than surrounded by rich and important people but locked out of the loop, and then poor and on the road again with Vax. I find it very relatable, and everyone who claims that looking out for the financial well-being of the party is “greedy” is lucky enough to never have had to worry about eating next month while also making rent.

There’s Safety In A Fist Full Of Diamonds, okay?

No really I need y’all to read that and send it to the annoying bitches who complain.

Vex is literally never stingy when it comes to helping people with the money she made sure they have. Remember how she didn’t even flinch at spending a five digit number to free angel boy slaves?

WHICH LEADS ME TO ANOTHER POINT. Vex. Vex has a serious hoarding problem. But not when it comes to money of earthly possessions. No. When it comes to PICKING UP STRAYS.

It’s how she got Trinket.

It’s how she got the angel babies.

It’s what she tries to do with the grey render baby.

It’s what she suggested they do with the dragon eggs in the Raishan fight

(LET! VEX! HAVE! PET! DRAGONS!)

IT HOW SHE GOT HER OWN GODDAMN HUSBAND OKAY.

I have no idea how she hasn’t adopted her own zoo by the time VM forms. Though I can totally see her opening orphanages in Whitestone, both for people and animals and creatures of all kinds, really.

Remember when she was the only one to protest the punching of a spectral ghost cow?

The hardships of her youth made her, yes, very afraid of being out of money, but also made her compassionate as fuck. She’s always down with helping people even if there’s little to no coin in it, okay? Stop overlooking that, assholes.

SPEAKING OF COMPASSION. Remember what her original beef with the Vasselheim potion seller was? That he took advantage of Grog being intellectually challenged. Which is what he did! Blatantly so! And he wasn’t the least bit sorry about it!

I mean, I bet he is by now, but, you know. Karma.

When Laura says Vex just wanted justice and then everyone else escalated that scene she is goddamn right, rewatch your own footage Matthew.

Oh god do I have to talk about broomgate now. I don’t want to talk about broomgate.

OKAY

Broomgate is literally the only time in the entire series that Vex ever takes something for herself. Was it the morally right thing to do? Maybe not. Though to keep in mind that a) Hardwick is a piece of shit, b) they literally met Gern when he had the skeletons of Kiki’s dead civilization dancing for him; Vax shanked Nothics for less, c) and this was hot off the heels of fighting a necromancer in the last big arc, too, d) they were on a mission to kill dragons. That fly. With no method of flying for the majority of the party. Vex always intended to use the broom for that purpose, so you could make the legal argument of commandeering it instead of stealing, and, finally, e) SHE HAD JUST FUCKING DIED

Why do we never talk about that

Other characters get cut all the slack for what they do after just dying

Other characters get cut all the slack when they steal from other guests

Other characters get cut all the slack when they withhold loot for the party

Other characters DIDN’T GET AN ALIGNMENT DROP FOR DOING WORSE SHIT THAN THIS

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT BROOMGATE

WHY WAS BROOMGATE EVER EVEN A THING

okay

MOVING ON

Hey, while we’re at dying. Remember how Vex spent the day after she, literally, died, trying to make sure the person who was to blame for her death was okay? She did that. And Percy was uncomfortable with it, visibly so, but also too guilty to call her out here.

And no one. NO ONE. EVER. Bothered to check in on how she felt after dying.

Vax made it all about the sacrifice he made, Percy felt too guilty, NO ONE ELSE CARED.

And what does she do? Soldier on. Try and cheer Vax up and support him in any way she can.

Honestly, learning the Raven Queen book by heart and then telling him that being the champion of a god is really fucking cool? Relatable. Relatable as fuck. You go girl.

And TO THIS DAY. ACROSS TWO CAMPAIGNS. Vex has been the only one. THE ONLY ONE. To EVER check up on someone after they died. Jester might eventually be the second one, but, you know. I am a big advocate for post-death and just post-big-battle-in-general aftercare cuddle piles or whatever. Someone tell the cast to implement that immediately.

And while we’re at death, let’s talk about THE DARKNESS

There are dark facets to her character. Vex never makes her own issues everyone else’s problem and they go largely unadressed, but they’re there.

Saundor brought up the story about how she got Trinket and had to kill for the first time while doing so.

(Sidenote: Saundor doing more research into her character than an actual writer is extremely telling.)

That was definitely traumatic for a young girl and I don’t mean to dismiss that, but that’s also the part I can understand Vax dismissing when they talk about it later on. They do kill a lot of people after that and this was self-defense, so hey, okay. Fine.

HOWEVER

That short story was indicative of many other things that torment Vex. Mostly her low sense of self-worth.

Like, her entire inner monologue is centered around how stupid she was for getting into this situation in the first place (= for being taken advantage of by criminals at the tender age of probably like 15), and how this would never have happened to Vax, who was away in the city to take care of them.

And we see that low sense of self-worth bleeding into Vex’s character throughout the campaign. That’s part of the reason why she spends the day after her first death making sure everyone else is okay. That’s also part of the reason she blames herself for Scanlan leaving and acts like she’s completely fine when he returns just so he’ll stay.

Honestly that short story is so insightful and explains so much about her, I don’t know how anyone could claim to have any grasp on her character without reading it.

(Also, Laura should write more, she’s talented)

Now a significant part of her self-worth issues obviously also ties back into her time at Syngorn. I can just hear people getting out their tiny violins, oh, waaah, she wasn’t one of the rich, cool kids in elf school, poor her.

But that’s not entirely it?

Like, just that is already plenty to fuck a person up. I’ve been there, too.

But let’s just say the fact that her dad was also cold towards them and acted like they were unworthy is a BIG part of what fucked her up. Call it daddy issues if you feel like being dismissive about a genuinely traumatizing upbringing, but that’s how it is.

And don’t get me wrong, if this were the traumatic childhood olympics, it’s not exactly up there and relatively tame for the background of a character in a fantasy story, but it is very true to life and extremely relatable, and Laura just executes it so well. So, so well.

That’s part of what makes the entire stretch of Feywild episodes so great. From what we see of Vax’s reaction later on, Percy is the only person she ever talked to about this - or at least the only one who ever listened - and he immediately got it. And instead of yelling at her about how amazing she is, he did something to make her feel better about herself. Without making it about himself, by the way.

I enjoy a fake married plotline as much as the next gal, but Percy giving her a title she’d have to earn by her own merits is soooo much more meaningful than just putting a fake ring on her, okay?

Yes, at the end of the day, this is basically a Cinderella fantasy. So what? No, really. One of the best things about Vex and her arc is that it validates feeling upset about not measuring up in superficial, material ways. And it validates getting your come-uppance. These are, as mentioned above, experiences that can really mess with a person, but we’re usually supposed to be above it all because money and titles don’t make you happy.

Also something only people who never struggled financially can say/believe unironically and without specifying.

Hell, that’s about 70% of the reason I’m considering getting a Ph.D. if I happen to get the grades.

I’m also not a big fan of the term daddy issues, but I can’t deny that this is a thing here

not the thing they went into the Feywild for, buuuut

ahem

So. Remember when Laura said during the campaign wrap up that Vex thought of Scanlan as a father figure and everyone was like whaaaaat? And I was like ahahahaha, I knew it.

This is so tragic, really. Because she tried so hard so many times to help Scanlan and be nice to him and he just brushed her off. And then she’s the one who volunteers to spend the night all by herself in some dirty pub far, far away after opening up to his daughter about her own issues to bring him back alive, and then gets yelled at, and never apologized to.

And then he comes back and tries to erase her memory and not only is that never even brought up, she also just doesn’t even think she might be owed an apology because a) she still blames herself for him leaving because, you know, they never really talked out what happened there and b) she’s just too happy for at least that father figure returning to them to make much of a fuss about it, and Percy, bless his heart, TRIES, but it’ll take a few more years of marriage to talk through all of her issues

And like. I am not wild about anything that happens after episode 99. If I’m known for anything in this fandom on this platform it’s probably for that time I was really into the Ioun discourse, which I still stand by, btw. And I personally would have preferred for Vex to maybe get someone like Sehanine as her patron, as fitting as giving her yet another unworthy and disapproving father figure in her life might be

But there is also something somewhat gratifying about everyone talking about how great she is. And she had been sort of working for Pelor before that. Also, the headcanons about her having sun spots or starting to glow when she gets emotional after this are amazing.

So I made my peace with that. She deserves better, but hey, she always does.

She is so smart. So extremely smart. People roll their eyes at her battle plans and say it’s all Travis feeding Laura information, but Travis fed her nothing that time she schmoozed up to the Briarwoods while also making herself appear extremely superficial and unthreatening. Honestly. That dinner scene? Prime Vex. Amazing Vex.

Her battle plans are also so good. Pokeball-ing Grog out of the kill box? Using the Goristro against Vorugal to save the party a trip into the abyss? The only plan of Vox Machina that ever worked out basically perfectly? Amazing. And even IF Travis told Laura these ideas, that means literally nothing in relation to how smart Vex is.

And btw I don’t believe that for a second. People just aren’t good with acknowledging that sometimes, D&D playing women might actually have good ideas.

And she just is so street smart. With her skills, her battle plans, and just her way of handling people. There’s a reason she is the natural leader when it’s not someone’s turn in the spotlight at the time.

Like, the two things holding her back were that her class was extremely underwhelming, so much so that it got completely revamped in the Unearthed Arcana to make up for how bad it was in the PHB, and the fact that she just. Has, what. 1.5 episodes of her own storyline? Even Pike got 2. It’s amazing that I can even say this much about her with how little narrative focus she got throughout the series. And most of what she did was literally due to Percy using his plot clout and putting a foot in the door to force her into the spotlight.

Speaking of which. Percy’s best quality, next to being self-aware of how fucked up he is and actively trying to do better and be kept in check, is how he realizes Vex is the coolest, smartest, most amazing person around and treats her accordingly. The way she deserves to be treated.

Oh hey I mentioned to get this far without even mentioning the romance arc. And oh my god THE ROMANCE ARC. The pining. The slow burn. And the fact that we actually saw them together and later married for like 35 episodes. They were so good for each other.

And yes, PERCY WAS GOOD FOR HER. And Vex was not his therapist and manic pixie dream girl. None of that bullshit here. Percy was already firmly on the path to being better before he even considered that crush he has had on her for forever to turn into something more.

And by he was good for her I mean that he actually UNDERSTOOD her and where she was coming from. Refer again to the titling issue, where Vax is just confused and kind of pissed, Percy got it. And that’s important.

Something I have not made a post about so far, by the way, is also something people have called problematic and co-dependant is how Percy shares his darker impulses with Vex in hopes she’ll talk him out of it. Which she does, and it’s never hard, but that also means so much to her? Because he involves her and tells her exactly what is going on with him and values her opinion? And that is just exactly what she needs? And they’re so good? THEY’RE SO GOOD.

WHEN DOES YOUR OTP EVER

HE COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER DREAM

This is more on Laura, admittedly, but also, it was just so great to see her unapologetically pursuing this romance? There’s a place at the table for a 72 episode slow burn, and she’s gonna go for it, and there’s nothing any of the dudebros who are just here for the fighting can do about it.

And also Vex is just so unapologetically sexual at the same time. From episode 1 onwards, really, and in general and just limited to Percy. And no one ever treats that as weird or bad or anything. It’s just who she is and that’s great.

And she fought. So hard. For that happy ending of hers. Kicking and screaming, against the world and against Taliesin’s determination that Percy is irredeemable and not capable of getting a happy ending. Defy that auctorial intent, my girl. You deserve it.

Seriously. Seeing her get that happy ending against all odds was unfathomably gratifying and validating and I’ve never connected to any single character or narrative at large for that matter this much and this intimately, and considering how I came across this story at one of the darkest times in my life, I probably never will feel so strongly connected to anything ever again.

Which is probably for the best, but hey.

Aaaand there you go. An almost unstructured, epically long list of reasons I love Vex. Dammit, I talked about other characters way more than I intended, buuuut hey. That’s how it goes when you’ve got an ensemble piece, they’re all kinda interwoven.

Thank you this wonderful ask, anon, and reason to celebrate my 100,000th post on this site in style.

#critical role #cr #cr1 #vex'ahlia #lady vex'ahlia de rolo #is better than you #deserved better from the narrative #will forever be my favorite character probably #will forever be part of my ultimate OTP #we do not deserve her #we are unworthy #long post #long post for ts

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boethiahsboytoy · 4 years

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IN DEPTH TES OC QUESTIONS: VYRTHAAL. (((if you dont feel like going for all of them, then pick your favs cos i know thats a long list but im excited to hear what you will share for the boi)))

I’m gonna do ‘em all >:3c Also thank u omg I’m so excited that Anyone’s interested in him ;w; Side note, occasionally I’ll mention Marzog who’s an orc created by @elderscrelders that found Vyr when he was hidden away and raised him, as well as Sinarwyn (aka Sina) who’s my newest OC; a former knight-paladin of Auri-El that joined Marzog and Vyrthaal on their travels when the town she once lived in was destroyed by the Thalmor.

Under a cut, RIP mobile users!

1) It’s a little unreasonable for everyone in a Middle Ages-esque fantasy to be perfectly literate, and writing with quills was considered legitimate labor! How well can your oc read and/or write? How detailed is their quest log/journal, if they keep one at all?

Vyrthaal’s parents made sure he could read and write, but unfortunately when he’s found by Marzog he can only read and write in ancient Falmer so.....doesn’t really help him much lmao. So he’s learning! He does keep a rather detailed journal, though he doesn’t write in it daily--I’d imagine he doesn’t really have time for that. But he writes in it as much as he can.

2) How educated is your oc? Did their parents teach them, did they have a tutor or were they apprenticed to a master, or did they attend a university? What university? What are they educated in? How long did their education take? (Learned skills like blacksmithing count here too!)

Vyr was nobility, so his parents wanted to make sure he was a highly educated boy. Since there’s not any lore I could find on snow elf education I’ve been kind of bullshitting everything about this BUT I headcanon that upper class mer like him would be trained by private tutors that are masters in their subject(s). When he’s later taken in by Marzog he of course is trained in blacksmithing once he’s settled in (and it helps him stop focusing on the trauma of seeing his home attacked and destroyed etc. etc.), as well as how to fight. When Sina joins them, she teaches him to hunt.

3) Does your oc have any kind of crafting skills that either aren’t in-game or don’t have as much importance in-game as they would in real life? (For example, can your oc sew or weave, etc? Are they skilled in any kind of art? Can they make jewelry or work glass? Are they musicians? etc)

Marzog taught him how to make clothes and do things like embroidery! He uses his new skills to try and recreate snow elf attire so there’s a whole orc stronghold that, when they’re not in their armor, wear elegant and pretty robes ;u; @elderscrelders says that Marzog would like to weave tapestries, and I think Vyrthaal would try to learn too. He wouldn’t be incredible at it, but he’d still like it! He’d also enjoy painting, and most definitely decorates the armor that the orcs in his stronghold wear uwu

4) What pantheon does your oc worship? If they worship the Cyrodiilic/Imperial pantheon, does that include Talos? If they secretly worship Talos, how do they justify hiding it?

I haven’t given a lot of thought to this but UESP says that the snow elves have their own pantheon. Vyrthaal certainly would have worshipped them as a child, but after being found by Marzog and becoming a part of orc society, he’d feel a connection to Malacath as well.

5) How religious is your oc? Do they come into conflict with others over their beliefs? If their patron deity told them to do something extremely undesirable or against their moral compass, would they do it? Would your oc sell someone’s soul for a corn chip?

Malacath is his Dad.

That being said, he wouldn’t follow an order from any god he worships if they told him to do something against his moral code, but he’d be scared about doing so lmao.

6) Does your oc have a family of origin? How many members of their FoO are still living? Do they have a good relationship? How much contact does your oc have with their FoO? How in-the-loop is your oc’s FoO about your oc’s being Dragonborn/HoK/Nerevarine?

*laughs nervously* Uh. No. But while they were alive, Vyr’s parents were distant and not at all there for him emotionally so he didn’t have a great relationship with him. I don’t really see the point in developing them beyond that but I’d imagine they wouldn’t like the idea of him being a Dragonborn? That or use him to like...gain more power, or something.

Marzog’s stronghold on the other hand loves him like he’s one of their own, and Marzog is an amazing mom. He can trust everyone in his new family to help him when he needs it and to be supportive. With Sina he pretty much Immediately develops a close familial bond with since they’re two of the last remaining snow elves alive and she understands a lot of his feelings in a way that no one else really can, as much as they’d try to.

7) What social class was your oc born into? Did they change classes at all? How?

Oh whoops I already mentioned this :’3 His parents were fairly high-ranking nobles. Marzog’s mother was the healer and the one that would communicate with Malacath for their stronghold. So Marzog herself is fairly important, but not like. A chief’s daughter. So as her son, that would make him kind of important? But he’s also the Designated Babey.

8) How politically active is your oc? Are they obviously influential, or is their influence more subtle?

He’s.....he’s 13. Even if he did try to be politically active, I don’t think anyone would actually listen to him. Jarl Balgruff might because he seems like the sort that would, but other than that...yeah, no. He also wouldn’t be too interested in politics as an adult aside from making people Stop attacking the Falmer, and giving the Reachmen their land back. He’d be on good terms with Madanach tho, if that counts!

9) What unplayable faction would/did your oc join, if any? Why?

Do the Falmer count? Because unlike Gelebor he’d want to connect with them and make an active effort to try to help them--and he does with Kili’s clan! And as I mentioned he’d help the Forsworn, so them too I think. Off the top of my head I can’t think of any more, I think those r the only things relevant to Vyr anyway??

10) How trustworthy is your oc? Would they ever change opposing factions?

Absolutely not, Vyr is a ride or die. The only exception would be if he would be pushed to doing something seriously fucked up. A Trustworthy Boy.

11) What is your oc’s main source of income, if they have one besides plundering tombs and adventuring? If they’re mercenaries, are they part of a company?

He gets an allowance from Marzog uwu But she’d also let him keep any money n valuables they find adventuring.

12) Does your oc own their own business, and if so, what is it?

Nope, he wouldn’t really be interested in that-

13) Is your oc good with finances? Bartering? How long can they keep the money they make?

He really wouldn’t be! He’d spend all his money on like 30 sweetrolls! He’s a kid and he needs adult supervision lmfao.

14) Does your oc have any particular rivalry or mutual dislike with any NPC?

I jokingly said “literally every Nord” but for a while, that’s how it is. He was frozen while the Nord colonizers were trying to wipe out his entire race and saw them destroying his hometown before his father tried sealing him and the rest of his family away in a secret hideaway area. He sees them as murderous brutes first, people second, and it takes him a long, long time to understand that that’s technically ancient history, and that the Nords of today aren’t the people who killed most of his race. But he will always hate the Companions though I don’t know if they’d even know he exists?? They seem like they just chill in their own lil world but to be fair, I’m not that interested in them so...I genuinely don’t know lol;;

Also he will personally bite out Ulfric Stormcloak’s throat, and no one will stop him.

15) How well-liked is your oc? What is their reputation, if they’re well-known? Are they simply liked/disliked, or are they respected but feared, or personally liked but not taken seriously, etc? Do major factions consider your oc an important player?

Everyone loves him, and it’s definitely not because he has two terrifying elf moms standing behind him! :)

...which sounds like a joke, but Marzog (big beefy orc who can snap your bones like twigs) and Sina (highly trained knight-paladin that looks ready to murder 24/7) really Do terrify everyone into at least being respectful towards him.

He’d probably be well known throughout other orc strongholds, and even orcs outside of them would know about him. As soon as he learns...Anything about the Companions he would do Everything he could to wreck their shit. Needless to say he’d be hated by him. I think those are the only things I’ll go into in this ask, because this is already so long.

16) Does your oc have a horse/other mount? A pet? How did they get this animal? If they were given the animal, do they have the money to maintain it? How careful/careless are they with their animal? What do they do with their pets while adventuring, especially on dangerous quests?

When he meets Kili and his clan, Kili decides to travel with him about a year later when they’re both around 15. As a parting gift, the clan leader gives him a chaurus reaper as a companion, and he absolutely adores her. Unfortunately it’s highly unsafe for her above ground as she’d pretty much always be attacked on sight, so she does spend most of her time underground with Kili’s clan.

17) Does your oc take their time as they travel, or are they purposeful? How do they survive in the wilds, especially if they aren’t hunter-types? How dependent is your oc on civilized society?

I feel like he’d make good time travelling, but for a while Vyrthaal would hate it. He lived a very sheltered life, he’s not used to living outdoors, but Marzog (and later Sina) would help him out as best as they can. Sina would also teach him (and maybe Marzog?But she’d use that just as an excuse to be close to her) how to hunt.

18) What does your oc like to eat? How much food do they eat? Can your oc cook, and can they do it well?

He loves treats n sweet desserts, as well as the big, hearty, rich, and savory meals I imagine orcs would make! He also has a surprisingly large appetite for such a small person, but I headcanon that that’s just A Dragonborn Thing(tm) so it only sort of counts. (if he wasn’t a Dragonborn, he’d actually have a very small appetite). He can cook some basic things and roast some meat over a fire and such, but nothing super fancy.

19) If your oc is a vampire, do they go outside in the daytime? Does the daylight affect or hurt them in any way different from in-game? If they interact with society, how do they justify looking half-dead and hating sunlight? How good is your oc at blending in? Do they even like dealing with society?

He would never willingly become a vampire, and he and Sina would always wear disease immunity enchantments to avoid it (and keep potions of cure disease on hand just in case. In a modern AU, they’d also have Falion on speed dial).

20) If your oc is a werebeast, how much control do they have over their transformations? Have they ever lost control? What happened? If not, why do they have such strong control? Does Hircine ever call on them, and do they answer?

He’s also not a werebeast. I don’t think he’d be able to control it well just because he’s a kid, but I think Marzog wouldtry to help him with that, as would Sina. If Hircine were to call on him he’d answer even if he Wasn’t any sort of werebeast, being an ally of the Forsworn and all he’d probably be honored!!

21) What does your oc wear in the city/settlements? In the house? When travelling, but not adventuring or expecting combat? Do they vary their clothes depending on what hold/city they’re in? If they don’t, why not (e.g., if your oc wears the same outfit to tend their garden or lounge around the house as they did to meet Ulfric or Elisif, why?) Does your oc have a good or bad sense of fashion? How many clothes does your oc have?

In cities and towns like Whiterun, Riften, etc. he’d wear simple robes. In the stronghold he’d wear clothes that are more tight fitting and don’t have billowy bits; think plain long sleeve shirts, pants, and a vest n such. While he travels he’d always wear armor he’s forged until he’s gifted ancient Falmer armor, which he then wears. He doesn’t vary his wardrobe much as snow elves are very resistant to cold so you could see him in the dead of winter just. Wearing regular old clothes lmao. When visiting Kili and his clan, as well as other Falmer clans, he’d likely wear regular Falmer armor (minus a helmet lmao). He would dress up in finer clothes to visit any Jarls except Ulfric, he’d wear full armor.

22) How picky is your oc about their gear? Do they have different equipment for different adventures, or is it the same suit of armor for everything (not counting upgrades like from steel to ebony)?

Same suit of armor for everything (except anything I’ve mentioned above) !

23) How does your oc acquire their clothes, and from where/whom?

He makes them, for the most part. Marzog helped him forge his first set of armor though, as well as make the first few pieces of clothing. The “modern”?? Falmer and ancient Falmer sets of armor are ofc all gifted to him tho,

24) Can your oc swim, and how well? Have they ever swam in the ocean, or only lakes/rivers? Remember, it’s much harder to swim in the ocean than in a lake! If your oc is an Argonian, do they take special advantage of it somehow (e.g., do they go diving for fun/for profit, do they instinctively hide in the water, etc)? If your oc is a Khajiit who can swim, how do they get their fur dry?

He can Not swim :’) He’d actually be a little bit afraid of water. Not out of trauma or anything ut just because he’s never really around big bodies of water often so it’s just New And Scary for him.

25) How easy/difficult is it to rob your oc? Pickpocket? Bribe?

It would be impossible to rob or pickpocket from him bc of Marzog and Sina lmao (though significantly easier if he’s alone, but he gets really scared on his own so that’s rare). He also wouldn’t take bribes.

26) If your oc is part of one of the more morally questionable or outright evil factions, how do they justify it to themselves? Do they still consider themselves as morally good? How well known is their affiliation to these groups? Do they have separate personas (e.g. Dragonborn to some people, Listener to others)? Do their family/friends know? If they have separate personas, how do they keep their less than righteous activities secret?

Apparently some people consider the Forsworn to be morally questionable which, yeah I guess they Do do some Fuck Shit but. He’d be open about it, he fully agrees that the Reach is the home of the Forsworn and as such they own it, and he’s not afraid to make that known. He’d wear the armor of the Old Gods that Madanach gives him any time he goes to see any Forsworn or travels through the Rift.

27) How helpful is your oc, and why? Are they helpful or kind even during difficult situations? Are they pragmatic, or do they have a hero syndrome?

I wouldn’t say he has a hero syndrome, but he’s a sweet kid that wants to help as many people as he can! He’s not like this with everyone at first, he definitely struggles with “why should I help people that would want me dead” but as he comes to terms with this being a new era he’d slowly be a bit more...gentle. And the more he adjusts the more his sweeter, friendlier nature begins to shine through!

I think I mislabeled these a little while reformatting, bc the original post only has 26 asks???? Uh,,,Oops! Lmao but that’s all of them so it’s fine!

Thank you for sending this in I had a lot of fun answering these! I tried not to ramble too much because this is long as it is so. I guess if anyone wants me to expand on any answers they can send in an ask or smthn??

#oc vyrthaal #thank u again!!#im probably going 2 bed soon??#done-mer #ask

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evanstanbot · 5 years

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tbh i don't get why you stucky just started your disappointment NOW, since his character writing already deteriorate in civil war. what you said about steve, "move on, fight the good fight, never give up on anyone" is gone already - he's written as a man who indulge in his past, which is totally okay. y'll don't complain about it in civil war only because it centers your fav boy and fav ship, but when he went to another his past - Peggy y'll get FURIOUS. Isn't that double standard?

Listen anon you sent me a hate message, but I’ve got time. Now sit back while I go into details. fyi, this is gonna be LONG. Anything for my Steve. I didn’t survive and throw hands at people in 2016 too to see this bs lol. I didn’t think I’d see the CW discourse in 2019 but here we are…

First of all, I’ll need you to understand that in storytelling (or in this case a character’s narrative), the character’s personal feelings (faith, love, hate, etc.) and said character’s moral rights are NOT mutually exclusive… because even in real life, we all have to balance out our personal feelings and what’s plausible. We have to find the balance between following our heart and following our brain.

 But, we’re talking about heroes here—they’re obliged to do the morally correct thing. However, good writing and a good character comes about when the character can balance out these traits (feelings and thoughts), just like we do in real life, and still end up doing the right thing. Sometimes it’s perfectly balanced: half-and-half. But, it doesn’t always have to be like that; it just has to balanced in some manner. These heroes are people we’re supposed to look up to and seeing them battle against their feelings and still choose the morally correct thing is what makes a hero a hero. 

Let’s list a few examples throughout Steve’s arcs, shall we? under the cut..

CA:TFA

* Steve initially set out to walk to Austria in order to save Bucky, his best friend, even though he wasn’t sure if Bucky was alive or not. That’s when his feelings and morals come in play. He chose his feelings, first. But, that’s okay. He’s still developing. But then, he checked in with Pegs to see if he was right. “You told me you thought I was meant for more than this. Did you mean that?”

* When Bucky “died,” his morals were bounded by guilt. That’s when Peggy came in to warn him to be a person of reason (at that moment, especially), to tell him to move on, and that they have a war to win. And so, he did. Yet, he chose both his feelings and his morals here. “I don’t wanna kill anyone” became “I won’t stop until all of HYDRA are killed or captured.” His morals are still right, but his feelings of guilt and anger encouraged them. feelings and morals, balanced.

CA:TWS

* He told to Pegs that half the reason why he’s working with SHIELD is because she built it. You see the “half” there? Half of the reason is because of his faith and respect for Peggy; the other half is because it’s the right thing to do; SHIELD was helping people… (or so he thought of course). perfectly balanced.

* Then, he took down shield. It broke him when he found out about Bucky being brainwashed and turning into The Winter Soldier. He probably wanted to kill all of HYDRA again for hurting his friend. But, once more, he did the right thing. Steve could’ve just found and taken down HYDRA and ignore the infestation of SHIELD. He could’ve gotten Bucky back that way and been done with it, but he knew better. “How many paid the price?… SHIELD, HYDRA, it all goes.” That’s why TWS Steve is the best Steve. It shows that he’s a tactician: he observed and observed and observed throughout the film. He saw what was happening around him and made a decision based on that (his brain, his logic). And that decision combined with his own feelings (his heart) about Bucky made for the deadly destruction of SHIELD. “The price of freedom is high. It always has been, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay. And if I’m the only one, then so be it. But I’m willing to bet I’m not.” He did what’s right, but also let his own feelings take over and have a say. (Read: He couldn’t hurt Bucky.) He stopped Bucky until he completed his mission, but after that, he dropped his shield for him; he let his heart take over once his morals were satisfied. still balanced.

CA:CW

* First, the accords. Steve, from the beginning, NEVER agreed to the accords—far before Bucky came into the picture. There. I said it. When Ross was talking about the accords, Steve knew he couldn’t trust them. He was let down by the government twice already. He set his mind on not signing it right then and there. Then, after the funeral, Nat came up to confront him about his decision and he still stuck by it. Notice that he was encouraged by Sharon’s speech (my fav Steve quote given to Pegs and then delivered by Sharon… anyway moving on). Steve made his choice based on his own morals and stuck with it. (By the way, he moved on from Pegs here.)

* Next, Bucky comes into play; and, Steve went on to protect his friend. Remember when he almost signed the accords because of Bucky? (Tony’s bargain was that he would make sure Bucky would not be turned over to the Wakandans.) Steve was tempted, yes, but when he heard about what Tony did to Wanda, he got proof that that the accords were wrong. He wanted to help Bucky badly, but in the end he kept those particular personal feelings from affecting his morals-based choice; he used his feelings of anger towards Wanda being trapped instead. “If I see a situation pointed south, I can’t ignore it. Sometimes I wish I could.” again, balanced.

* If you look at airport scene, you’d see how Steve was only talking about the other winter soldiers. Of course he’d his best friend, but he didn’t let his selfishness and feelings take over. He’s also doing this because it’s the right thing to do. To stop Zemo (the real villain here, by the way) and the other winter soldiers before they cause harm to the public. He’s fighting the good fight.

* Him not telling Tony about Bucky… This was because he knew Bucky was going to get hurt or even worse, killed, if he did. He considered the consequences and here he chose his feelings. He knew it wasn’t right, so he apologized to Tony via the letter. He paid the price for choosing his friend and following his feelings for this one; he became a fugitive. (Yet, remember that he rescued the avengers who were thrown in jail and kept on avenging secretly.) He’s still morally correct in the end.

* Remember when he whole-heartedly believed that Bucky did not bomb the UN? It’s because his faith is in people, not in systems or rules—he learned this the hard way in CATWS. He knew Bucky pulled him out of the river; and, his feelings came into play. But, he still checked out the facts with Sam and Sharon. And he was right: Bucky didn’t do it.

A:IW

* There wasn’t much Steve to begin with; however, I just want to point out that he’s still helping the avengers, protecting them despite the conflict. He went to the avengers compound (even though he wasn’t in good terms with the government) because they needed help (the earth was under attack and Tony was gone). but most importantly, because they are also his family. he has a life here.

And then, A:Endgame did that.

* I’m not saying Steve would never consider that life… I’m just saying that he would never choose to go back if he had the chance because he knows how to balance his feelings and moral compass. Our Steve would deal with his own trauma instead of running off to a better place (or so he thought it was a better place).

* Adding up the time travel logic, he can’t change the past. He’s creating another timeline—meaning… those people are not his people. Also, what would he say to them? Would he lie? Steve “I’m always honest” Rogers would never be able to live a life constructed by a web of lies. He certainly wouldn’t steal another Steve’s life. He considers the moral aspects of everything he does, not just his feelings. Creating another timeline just because he wanted to have a supposedly good life isn’t that.

* Adding another time travel theory (thanks markus), Steve staying in the shadow while hydra was infiltrating shield? While Bucky was being tortured? it’s bs okay. a joke. there’s no way Steve Rogers is gonna sit there and do nothing. If you want receipts, reread this post. Pick up any Captain America comics.

* Also, “He earned that” is such a problematic take. He didn’t do all this for a prize. He did all this because he is a hero… because he is someone who never gives up. and most importantly, because he cares.

Steve’s arc is NOT about indulging in the past. It’s about still connecting to the past, while adapting to the future. Times changed but the problems are still the same. Making a better future—that’s what he does and what he strives for. 

And that’s why we’re angry. I hope it sums up. It’s long, but it’s worth it. You can call me whatever names you like; it doesn’t matter. I know my value. I was angry at first, but you made me realize why Steve is my hero and the one I’ve always believed in. In conclusion, endgame!Steve is #NotMySteve. My Steve will always come back… do the right things, as he always does and always will.

#long post #answered #anti endgame #endgame spoilers #steve rogers #meta

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jbuffyangel · 5 years

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A Moment of Joy: Arrow 7x14 Review (Brothers and Sisters)

Felicity told Oliver she’s pregnant!!!!

and some other stuff happened. Let’s dig in…

Olicity

Obviously, Oliver finding out Felicity is carrying their love child is what we’re all here for. So, it’s not really a shock the writers waited until the last three minutes of the show for the big moment. They aren’t dummies.

However, what happens before Felicity tells Oliver is just as important than the actual reveal. Oliver and Felicity are on separate emotional paths for the majority of “Brothers and Sisters” but they each learn important lessons which will make them better partners and parents.

Felicity is freaking out. As evidence by Felicity’s nightmare of running through the forest of Lian Yu searching for her crying baby.

Raise your hand if Felicity screaming “Where are you? I can’t find you!” to her precious infant left you emotionally gutted.

This makes Felicity the only character other than Oliver to open the show running, so anyone arguing her hero’s arc is not on the same level as Oliver’s can pass me.

I wish we had a stronger villain who actually warrants a guest appearance in Felicity’s nightmare, but alas we are stuck with Diaz and have to pretend, yet again, he’s a viable threat.

I decided Diaz is representative of all villains Felicity has faced. He’s functioning as a source of all evil type of capacity. The dream isn’t really about her fear of Diaz. Felicity is afraid she won’t be able to protect her child, which is exactly what Diaz says before he shoots her. I love emotionally unambiguous dreams.

What’s interesting about the dream is the foreshadowing element. Felicity is searching for her child, but is killed thereby leaving the baby alone in the wilderness and unprotected from the evil coming after them. It’s particularly interesting we never see Felicity shot. We don’t see her body, unlike the dreams Oliver had earlier this season.

Source: olicitygifs

Sound familiar?

The dream is essentially what is happening in the future. Felicity is separated from her children and desperately trying to reunite her family. She is supposedly “dead,” but we haven’t seen her body.

Felicity is going to great lengths to protect her children and I absolutely believe this is all part of her plan. However, her absence has left William and Mia alone in the wilderness exposed to the world’s evil. All the anger, fear, panic and helplessness Felicity feels in the dream is what she must be feeling in the future as well. Any kind of separation from her children is unbearable. The flash forwards are basically Felicity’s nightmare realized which is exactly why the writers need to fix it RIGHT THE HELL NOW.

Diggle finally comes clean about Diaz to Oliver and Felicity.

Source: olicitygifs

He explains there’s a more dangerous threat the A.R.G.U.S. brass is preventing them from pursuing and Felicity instinctively puts her hand on her belly.

Source: hollandrooden

Watching Emily Bett Rickards weave in these subtleties is going to be one of the best aspects of the pregnancy storyline. Felicity is understandably and rightfully furious with John for working with Diaz and not discussing it with her first.

However, Oliver is not. He trusts John and believes Diggle would only work with Diaz if it’s absolutely necessary. Some may have been surprised or even frustrated with Oliver’s chill response, but it is evidence of his evolution. Once upon a time, Oliver Queen would have reacted in anger to this kind of news. Felicity or Diggle or both would have to talk Oliver off the ledge.

Now Oliver is playing referee between Diggle and Felicity. His calm response is not evidence of apathy. Oliver is trying to see both sides. He trusts John, but understands why Felicity is angry. This is a more patient, measured and understanding Oliver Queen. It may not be the man we are used to, but it is the man we’ve asked him to be. This is what a fully realized superhero looks like.

This issue between Felicity and Diggle has very little to do with Oliver. He was the point of contention between the two as Felicity tried to free him from prison while Diggle toed the legal line. However, Oliver was in prison and cut off from what was going on in the outside world. Furthermore, Oliver isn’t angry John didn’t help free him. Diggle was doing exactly what Oliver asked. He embraced the freedom Oliver’s sacrifice bought him and turned away from the vigilante life.

It doesn’t make what John did right though. My primary frustration with this canyon between Diggle and Felicity is they haven’t really discussed it in any meaningful sense in 7x02. They are finally given some screen time and Felicity gives John the comeuppance he deserves.

Felicity: You realize that this is the second time you have prioritized your job over keeping your friends safe?

Felicity just had a nightmare about Diaz roaming free and now Diggle is telling her Diaz is roaming free. It’s difficult for Felicity not to feel her dream is prophetic in nature. If your next nightmare is Oliver turning to dust as you reach for him and whispering, “My soul,” please don’t have sex with him Felicity. #BuffyTheVampireSlayerTips

Felicity hacks the bomb in Diaz’s head and employs her murder companion, Bl*ck S*ren to finish the job who balks (more on that in a minute) and then “guesses” Felicity is pregnant. We knew they were going to do this. We knew BS would be first to find out Felicity is pregnant.

However, the evidence BS uses to deduce Felicity’s pregnancy is hilariously ludicrous.

First, there’s a lack of alcohol. Umm… it’s well before 5 o’clock so why is BS expecting booze at 10 o’clock in the morning? I thought we were done with the alcoholism stories. Felicity isn’t mainlining coffee, Coke or Red Bull for half a second so of course PREGNANT.

And that isn’t a pregnant lady amount of chocolate. It’s a Tuesday amount of chocolate, which Felicity points out while simultaneously revealing she’s pregnant. Only Emily Bett Rickards and her sheer force of adorableness pull this scene off.

Source: nyssaalghl

BS comes back armed with healthy goodies like a mother hen and a hell of a pep talk.

I will forever be using this gif anytime an Olicity/Felicity Smoak hater comes my way. You’ve been warned. Sure, I would have preferred Lyla bring Felicity a roast turkey sandwich and reassure her fears. However, I think the pep talk means more coming from Bl*ck S*ren.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Oliver, Diggle and Lyla are Felicity’s family. It’s sort of like when a parent tells their child he/she is beautiful. A parent is legally required to say those things. Their love is without question, so it’s easier to discard the compliment. It doesn’t feel earned. Their positive opinion is an automatic because of the unconditional love.

At best, Bl*ck S*ren is a frenemy. She’s been learning toward friend versus enemy as of late, but we didn’t start there. BS didn’t like Felicity. In fact, she downright hated her and vice versus. Felicity has earned Bl*ck S*ren’s respect. She never judged Felicity’s murderous tendencies and Felicity saw real compassion in BS. They have evolved from enemies to partners to friends.

Bl*ck S*ren is a terrible person, but she can still see all the good in Felicity Smoak. She is someone who didn’t love Felicity and has been Smoak’d nonetheless. Even though she shares the same opinion as Oliver, Diggle and Lyla it feels more earned to Felicity. This is someone who can go back to snapping necks in a heartbeat. Even someone as dark as Bl*ck S*ren can see Felicity Smoak’s light. She’ not “just saying it.” Therefore, it must be true.

Discovering you are bringing a little human into this world can be one of the most joyful and exhilarating experiences of a person’s life. It is also incredibly terrifying. You are suddenly responsible for another person’s life. It is a massive undertaking and a complete upheaval to your everyday life. I was scared and I didn’t have super villains trying to kill me all the time. Of course, Felicity is scared. It’d be crazy not to be given the world she lives in. Every parent is afraid at one point or another.

The key is not to make decisions from that fear. You have to learn to live with it and focus on what is best for your child and family. Felicity can kill Diaz, but there will always be more after him because that’s the life she and Oliver chose.

Felicity was always the one who believed they could be vigilantes and build a life together. She has momentarily stopped believing in herself, which is why it is so important for BS to remind Felicity she has nothing to be afraid of.

There is no limit to my love for L*urel in this scene. It’s bizarre I buy this friendship more than the one between our LL and Felicity, but I do. I think one of the best aspects of BS and Felicity’s friendship is it has nothing to do with Oliver Queen. It is just about the bond these two women have forged. That’s nifty. Throw in a solid prison arc and these writers will have me on board with Bl*ck S*ren’s redemption.

Given the ridiculous conspiracy theories the LL/L*uriver fans had regarding Mia, it is pretty fantastic Arrow is using their fav to be Felicity’s number one cheerleader. Bl*ck S*ren’s entire function in “Brothers and Sisters” is to support Felicity’s storyline and her arc. She’s helping Felicity through the pregnancy L*uriver fans believed BS would have. This is going to drive the haters insane and I am petty enough to enjoy it.

Meanwhile, Rene aka Gossip Girl fills Oliver in on Emiko’s mother’s murder and her vendetta. XOXO.

Of course, Oliver wants to help Emiko with her investigation, but Rene reminds him to earn Emiko’s trust first. Rene is making a lot of sense in this scene and it’s unnerving.

Oliver brings a special gift from the missus as a way of earning his sister’s trust. Felicity found the rifle that killed Emiko’s mother. It’s not a bad approach. Everyone gets smoak’d eventually on this show and Oliver Queen is infinitely more likable because of Felicity.

Source: olivergifs

I understand why Emiko is angry with Robert and Moira Queen. I also understand Oliver wasn’t a stand up fella back in the day. However, Emiko has been running around in his hood so her adamant “Oliver Queen in the worst” stance is a real head scratcher. She finds some redeeming qualities about him otherwise why use his moniker, suit and methods?

Oliver was living the life Emiko was denied. She’s using the hood to steal Oliver’s identity like he stole hers. However, Oliver is no more to blame for Robert’s choices than Emiko. He’s just the one left holding the bag, so to speak. Emiko directing all her anger at Oliver is growing tiresome. She needs to thaw.

Thankfully, Emiko hears my complaints and lets Oliver in on her mission. Oliver tries to be helpful, but his way of being a big brother is control.

All of his tips for improving algorithms, arrow manufacturing and wrist snapping come from the best intentions, but it feels like criticisms to Emiko. Oliver ends up wrestling control of “the mission” away his sister and she’s forced to sit on the sidelines.

Rene in another display of logic (hold me I’m scared) urges Oliver to simply be Emiko’s brother and stop trying to protect her via control. Ya know, basically his entire Season 1-Season 4 arc with Thea truncated down to one episode.

Oliver and Felicity’s separate storylines arcs converge into one when he gets a call from Diggle. John wants Oliver to go out in the field with the Ghost Initiative and yes that includes Diaz. Felicity rightfully feels a little betrayed Oliver would even consider going out in the field, but he’s angling for husband of the year this season and sets her straight.

It’s Felicity’s choice if he works with the Ghost Initiative. Wait. WHAT? Oliver is relinquishing control, allowing Felicity to make a decision for their family and he will adhere to it no questions asked? OLIVER IS THAT YOU?

Ohhhh it gets better.

Oliver tells Felicity he knows she’s keeping a secret. Felicity thinks Oliver has figured out she’s pregnant, but alas I feel this is another area heterosexual men do not excel in.

The “secret” Oliver has deduced with his amazing powers of perception is Felicity is planning to kill Diaz. Dude, that’s not a secret. She’s practically hung a neon sign around her neck all season that says, “I WILL KILL DIAZ. ASK ME HOW.”

Felicity’s face when she realizes Oliver is clueless about the pregnancy is hilarious. Men.

Source: plotbunnyshipper

Oliver believes there’s a better way of handling Diaz, but he also understands that’s his choice. If Felicity is truly his partner then he can’t make decisions for her. He makes a rather surprising statement – Oliver is willing to back her play no matter what. THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

Source: oliverxfelicity

If she wants Diaz dead then, after the mission with A.R.G.U.S., he’s toast. Oliver has Felicity’s back.

Source: plotbunnyshipper

Did that just happen?

There’s so much emotionally evolved Oliver Jonas Queen before me I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t have to critique, encourage him to do better next time, examine the trauma impacting his decisions or lament there’s always next season. I can’t even call him a pine tree. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO IF I’M NOT CALLING OLIVER A PINE TREE!

This is massive evolution. MAAAAAASIVE. First, Oliver gives Felicity a “find another way” speech, so we are officially full circle my friends.

The student has become the master. We’ve been waiting for Oliver to become a fully realized superhero, so he can be the man Felicity deserves. And low and behold here he is! He wants Felicity to find a better way, but he’s ready to throw down with Diaz if the wifey commands it.

THIS is the support Oliver always received from Felicity. She fell in love with Oliver when he was dropping bodies on the regular. Felicity didn’t necessarily agree with all those choices, but she always had Oliver’s back no matter what. She encouraged Oliver to find a better way with her love, belief, compassion, support and a healthy amount of firm nudging. She harnessed Oliver’s light by shining her own upon him. Felicity’s goodness was an example to Oliver. It helped Oliver find his goodness under all that pain.

However, Oliver fears his pain and darkness can infect the people he loves. He worries it’s like a contagious disease. Simply being around him is all it takes for Diggle or Felicity to fall off the moral path.

When Felicity made questionable judgments Oliver wasn’t able to back her up.

Instead, he stood in her way and became a road block she had to overcome. Oliver did this because he feared his impact on Felicity. He didn’t want the person he loves most in this world to be anything like him.

However, Oliver’s inability to let go was hurtful to Felicity because she felt it was a lack of trust. Felicity always trusted Oliver, even when she disagreed with him. She would offer her advice, but ultimately stood back and let Oliver make his own decisions. He is a better man for loving Felicity Smoak. It was her influence showing Oliver a more righteous path, but he is the one who chose to be a better man.

He can never give Felicity the room to decide for herself. Oliver either makes the decision for her or holds on so tightly she is forced to break free from his grasp. He’s done the same with Thea and now Emiko. Oliver is motivated by a deep need to protect those he loves, but that’s not the way Felicity needs to be loved. What she needs from Oliver is his trust and support. He can illuminate a better path, but Felicity must make her own decision. And Oliver must respect her choice.

Oliver acknowledging Felicity wants to kill Diaz also means he’s taken her off the pedestal. Felicity Smoak is not merely sunshine and rainbows. She’s a multi faceted human being just like anyone else. She experiences the human array of emotions just like anyone else. Sometimes Felicity is pure sunshine.

Sometimes she’s comfortably wielding a Makarov PMM. Get you a woman who can do both.

Both sides can exist in her along with a wide berth of grey. Felicity examining the darker end of the morality spectrum doesn’t make her evil. It makes her human.

But Oliver can’t keep Felicity in a box where she can function under pre-approved parameters. Felicity deserves the same freedom Oliver enjoys. He has to love all of her – the light and the dark – just like Felicity has loved all of him. The greatest gift God gave us is free will. Oliver needs to step back and let Felicity decide for herself who she wants to be.

"This is who I am, this place, this is where I belong. She came back because she found out she belonged here too. She chose for herself...God I loved her for that." Garret Blake, Message in a Bottle

Oliver is learning how to be a better leader and partner. He’s realized control only stirs revolt. The essence of true leadership is leading by example. Oliver can encourage Felicity to find another way through his love, belief, compassion, support and a healthy amount of firm nudging. He can harness Felicity’s light by shining his own upon her. But when push comes to shove, he needs to support whatever Felicity decides because that’s the love she’s shown him for seven years.

Source: plotbunnyshipper

Felicity agrees to the mission with A.R.G.U.S. on one condition – she’s coming too. It feels so good having Overwatch back in the field. THE BAND IS BACK TOGETHER YOU GUYS! The operation goes bust because when does an A.R.G.U.S. op ever go right? Diaz short circuits his chip and Felicity goes after him even though Dante is the objective.

It’s a bit of a redo of 7x06, but better. Felicity is a cool cucumber and I absolutely believe she would pull that trigger. What I believe more, however, is she doesn’t have to. She isn’t making a decision from fear, but strength.

Source: ebett

The gift Oliver’s prison sentence gave Felicity is the knowledge she can face anything, even a life without her husband, and come out the other side changed, but not broken. Felicity was alone in the wilderness and fed to the wolves this season, but she survived. She kept her family safe. Felicity flirted with the edge, but never became lost in the dark. She did what was necessary, but retained every ounce of her goodness. This is the moment Felicity Smoak decided for herself the kind of hero she wants to be.

Source: felicitysmoakgifs

Oliver packs up his “lesson learned” suitcase and heads over to Emiko’s to apologize. He overstepped with the mission because he was excited to recapture some of the time he’s lost with his sister. By overstep he means completely take it over. Oliver apologizing first is enough to convince me he’s reached superhero nirvana.

However, the surprise was Emiko admitting she’s having difficulty not seeing Oliver as their father.

Since she’s Oliver 2.0 I wasn’t expecting that much emotional awareness so early in the game. Oliver and Emiko hug and cry and learn and grow. Great… we done? Oliver has places to be and THERE IS ONLY FOUR MINUTES LEFT.

Felicity is sitting on the counter in her pajamas downing a pint of mint chip and it is the stuff of fan fiction.

Source: olicitygifs

THEY REMEMBERED THE MINT CHIP Y’ALL!

There is also a photograph of Felicity snorkeling on the refrigerator, so Mia was conceived on their honeymoon trip in Aruba they took over winter hiatus. Don’t @ me.

Oliver wants to know why Felicity didn’t kill Diaz and her explanation is relatively straightforward. Killing Diaz wouldn’t necessarily keep their family safe because they are vigilantes. There is always another Big Bad waiting around the corner. More importantly, Felicity decides she wants to live in the light like Oliver has been doing. His example was enough.

And then she drops the bomb with the word “children.”

Oliver didn’t hear a word Felicity was saying

because the mind was racing trying to puzzle it out.

He stopped breathing.

We get to watch as he puts it together. It’s like watching Oliver fall in love all over again. It starts slowly

and then it happens all at once.

Source: olicitygifs

Oliver and Felicity’s baby was foreshadowed in a heartbreaking scene.

Moments before Oliver breaks up with Felicity in “The Calm” he watches her with Lyla holding newborn baby Sara. Diggle’s universe changed when he first looked at his daughter, but Oliver’s changed when he met Felicity.

Embarking on a relationship with her was never about one date. It was about marriage, children, building a life and growing old together. Felicity was always Oliver’s forever.

He knows he’s looking at a life he will never have. Oliver is going to shut the door on a relationship with Felicity, so he allows himself one moment of wistful hoping.

Oliver gives into the dream and imagines the life he could have with the person he loves most in the world. Oh how he wished things could be different, but Oliver couldn’t fathom how to get from here to there.

Until… he did. Season after season.

Episode after episode.

Bit by bit.

Piece by piece.

Step by step.

Oliver Queen has built a life with the woman of his dreams. It was a painful and difficult road, but he found his way back to her again and again. Eventually, life stopped being about survival. Oliver began to reach for more because he realized what Diggle said was true. Something to Live For is better.

Oliver has fought for the people he is living for every day, which is why this moment is so earned. There is something infinitely hopeful about Oliver creating new life with his wife. He was once shackled to the prison of his painful past, but what lies ahead now is the freedom of a bright and brilliant future.

This was the quiet dream Oliver and Felicity kept to themselves for all these years, but now it is happening. It’s real. All Oliver can feel is exuberant joy. There’s no hesitation or fear it will all be taken away. Oliver simply lives in this moment, holds his wife and breathes it in. This is what it feels like to be alive.

Telling Oliver makes it real for Felicity too. She shifts her weight in place as if the news is going to burst from her. The surprise of this unplanned little one still hasn’t completely worn off as Felicity marvels, “I’m pregnant.” Whatever fear she was feeling evaporates. Felicity lives in this moment with her husband as he holds her.

Source: olicitygifs

“It’s gonna be the details that define us. You know… the moments.” Joey Potter, Dawson’s Creek

Perhaps, it all falls apart in twenty years as Oliver and Felicity fight for their family. Maybe they are all separated one day, but that’s even more reason to embrace the joy. This is a long deserved pay off for a storyline that’s been building for four years. It is a perfect happy moment for our two heroes.

A hero’s journey is a road filled with pain, loss and sacrifice. It’s important to take the time to breathe. We must savor the joy because there will always be another battle to fight. We need these moments to remind us all what Oliver and Felicity are fighting for.

John Diggle

Things start off rocky with Diggle. Again. He comes clean to Oliver and Felicity about working with Diaz, but stands firmly behind the decision. Felicity can’t fathom why John is choosing his job over his family and girl same. Pod Diggle is the worst.

Diggle: Working with A.R.G.U.S. does keep you safe because it makes the world safe.

Felicity: You can keep telling yourself that.

SO. MUCH. BURN.

When was the last time an A.R.G.U.S. mission accomplished their goal in any way? I’m seriously drawing a blank. I’d be more supportive of Diggle’s decision to work with A.R.G.U.S. if they’d been able to stop Diaz or protect Felicity and William in any way. I’m not wildly impressed with the Dante operation either. A.R.G.U.S. isn’t making anybody safe. Felicity is 100% right.

Diggle very enthusiastically wanted to get the band back together in 7x12, but I still feel resistance from him. I’ve gone on and on about Diggle’s midlife crisis, so I won’t repeat everything again, but he remains hesitant to leave A.R.G.U.S. behind and rejoin Team Arrow in his full Spartan capacity. I understand John wants to define himself outside of Oliver Queen and feels lost now that his protégé doesn’t need him to point the way all the time. But Diggle has his own path with Spartan. He just has to choose it.

We see the beginning of that choice in “Brothers and Sisters.” He puts family before the mission when it goes awry. Diggle has Felicity’s back instead of abandoning her. He makes her a priority and helps Felicity stop Diaz.

Source: @smoacs

HALLELUJAH! HELLO JOHN THOMAS DIGGLE I HAVE MISSED YOU.

We even get an apology from John.

Source: arrowdaily

Apology accepted. Seriously, I’m good. John is off the hook. He’s seen the error of his ways, made better choices while making amends and delivered a hell of a speech. *grabby hands at Yoda Diggle*

Diggle also takes the fall for Lyla over losing Dante, so he is officially unemployed. It’s fine John. We hated your career at A.R.G.U.S. Nuke it. This means Diggle will be available for a full time Team Arrow position. Our Yoda is finding his way back to where he belongs – with his family.

Flash Forwards

Katherine McNamara promised we’d get plenty of answers in “Brothers and Sisters” and that’s true, but it only leads to more questions. Let’s run down the revelations:

Nobody knew Oliver and Felicity had a daughter except for Diggle. Roy, Dinah, Rene and William didn’t even know Felicity was pregnant.

John told his adoptive son Connor Hawke to watch over Mia.

William never hears from Oliver and Felicity again after leaving to live with his grandparents.

Connor knew who Mia’s parents were, but she didn’t know his parents. Mia is a little pissed right now at Connor and my ship is totally setting sail.

There was only one eyewitness to Felicity’s murder, Paul Loiseau, and he committed suicide. So did the coroner.

Whoever is behind the bomb plot needs Felicity, so they faked her death and tied up loose ends by killing Liseau and the coroner.

It makes very little sense to me that William has not heard from Oliver and Felicity after living with his grandparents. We see Oliver leaving William a message, one of many, but the voicemail is full. It’s hard to believe Oliver and Felicity would let a full voicemail stop them from seeing their son.

Nobody knew Felicity was even pregnant, so Star City must become too dangerous and she leaves town to keep her pregnancy secret and the baby safe.

Dinah: We all knew Oliver and Felicity. They never had a daughter.

Mia: I guess you didn’t know them as well as you think.

HAHAHA. I love this kid.

If Oliver gets Felicity out of town then it is possible he would cut off contact with William to keep him safe. However, that must happen later on. It’s clear William is not getting Oliver’s messages, so his grandparents must be keeping them from him.

Joseph David-Jones, who plays Connor Hawke, was on Twitter and delivering David Ramsey level goodies, so the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Yes, Connor is the Diggle’s adoptive son and we will find out what happens to JJ in another flash forward. Joseph believes the reason he’s not playing JJ is because the writers wanted to give him a fresh beginning, separate from the storyline he had on Legends of Tomorrow.

It’s fine with me. Diggle and Lyla can adopt a whole tribe. I think it’s great. Nor does it lessen my investment in SmoaknHawke. Although, I sincerely hope we find out JJ is alive because it would be super fun to have a JJ, Mia and Connor love triangle. I’m sorry. The Vampire Diaries warped me. I can’t be normal anymore.

The highlight of the flash forwards is the bonding between Mia and William. It starts out rocky, but the two find some common ground in their wildly different upbringings. It’s not easy being a child of heroes. William always believed the reason his parents stayed out of touch was because they were keeping him safe from the vigilante life. However, Mia blows that theory all to hell and William decides they simply didn’t want him.

William gives me a headache sometimes. YOU CHOSE TO LIVE WITH YOUR GRANDPARENTS. OLIVER AND FELICITY BEGGED YOU TO STAY. WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?

Clearly this boils down to the grandparents. This is like The Notebook, as Maddie pointed out in our podcast. The mother kept Noah’s letters from Ally, but on the other hand he could have gotten in a car and knocked on her door. Nobody needed to wait seven years for contact.

If the grandparents are erasing Oliver’s messages then there’s a high probability of William’s father kicking their door in so he can see his son. It saddens me William doesn’t know this about his father and cannot see if Oliver and Felicity were trying to keep Mia safe then they were also doing the same for him by staying away.

Mia refuses to believe Felicity is dead because no one has seen her body. Finally, a flash forward character that uses actual logic. It’s so refreshing. This kid absolutely has Olicity DNA.

Mia’s relationship with her mother is complicated, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love Felicity. Quite the opposite.

Source: ebett

I AM HERE FOR SMOAK WOMEN FIGHTING FOR SMOAK WOMEN. She’s adamant about finding Felicity on her own, but William finagles his way into Mia’s heart a little bit because he’s William.

For the first time William and Mia finally have another person to talk to about what it’s like being children of vigilantes. Mia thinks William turned out swell because he’s rich, but her tune changes once he lays out all the devastating loss that came from being Oliver Queen’s son. William may be convinced Oliver and Felicity didn’t want him, but Mia assures him being wanted wasn’t exactly a lifelong free pass to Disney World.

Ugh. Can we just fix this? Everything is awful.

Oliver and Felicity didn’t abandon their children. They did what was necessary to keep their family safe. William and Mia don’t understand that and it makes my heart hurt. It’s understandable why William and Mia feel this way, but it doesn’t make their beliefs true. We need Felicity Smoak to pop up in these flash forwards to explain what happened to her children. No matter what decisions Oliver and Felicity made I believe they had good reasons.

Even though Felicity told Mia again and again her father was a hero, she couldn’t believe it. The city said Oliver was to blame for everything going to hell and Mia didn’t know which was true. William is the only person she can ask, so she does.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Sorry Oliver and Thea there are new QUEEN SIBILINGS FOREVER in town.

William may be angry at Oliver for the way things went down, but he can still see his father with crystal clarity. He is also one of the only people Mia would believe.

Source: smoakmonster

Arrow has used the hozen as a symbol of reconnection. It’s a way to heal the pain caused by time and distance. From Shado to Oliver, Oliver to Thea, Thea to Roy, Roy to Thea, Thea to Felicity, Felicity to William and finally William to Mia. It’s how the Arrow family finds their back to each other. William realizes Felicity didn’t use the hozen to guide him back to her. She used it to guide him to Mia.

We get some quality sibling banter with cube in a cube and Mia reveals she isn’t a rookie. Felicity has trained her to think with her sharp mind and Mia knows another solve for the puzzle – a cube in a cube in a cube. Something not even William knew.

Source: arrowdaily

Inside there is a mini cassette tape, which I agree is a brilliant way to keep information safe. Although, cassette tapes being obsolete technology makes me feel really old. How does one listen to this little gem of information? Buy a mini cassette player off EBAY?

Watching Mia and William’s sibling bond develop is like infusing all this darkness with a spark of light. It is a moment of joy, which is unexpected in this flash forward world. I was concerned I wouldn’t be invested in the flash forward characters, but I am.

Source: ebett

I care about William and Mia’s relationship. I want the Queen family reunited. I want to know what happened to JJ and the rest of the Diggle family. Even though the flash forwards are dark and terrible, I am invested in these new characters. At this stage of the game that’s nothing short of a miracle.

Bl*ck S*ren and Diaz

This episode is the gift that keeps on giving. Diaz returns to prison, but someone lights him up. Yes, the dragon died by fire. It’s too good.

I brought marshmallows! Time for smores.

Diaz’s killer is off screen, so it is very much a “Who done it?” There are two viable suspects – Dante or Bl*ck S*ren. The whole fire thing works for either of them.

BS watched Diaz burn someone and it was supposedly the moment she realized he was terrible. BS killing Diaz in the same fashion has some poetic justice to it and it’s absolutely something she would do. I thought she doth protest too much when discussing killing Diaz with Felicity.

Source: hollandrooden

Keep in mind this is the same woman who was prepared to murder again in 7x11 with no questions asked. She wasn’t terribly invested in being a fake lawyer then and it’s not like she’s had some kind of internal awakening that murder is bad.

IF BS killed Diaz, and it’s a big if, I don’t think she would have done it to avenge Quentin. I think BS would have killed Diaz, after Felicity decided not to, as a way to keep her and the baby safe. I know BS said Diaz was no longer a threat because he was in prison, but her whole blasé attitude felt old. She made a big show about not wanting to give up her lawyer gig either, so it would be extremely fantastic if BS goes to prison for trying to protect Felicity and her child. I loooooove it sooooo much, which probably means I won’t get it, but then again we’ve been on a hot streak (Olicity baby, Curtis gone, Diaz dead, Diggle is normal again, etc). No harm in hoping.

Of course, the next likely suspect is Dante. The whole fire thing works with Dante’s Inferno and Diaz did betray him. It’s nice to finally have a villain who feels somewhat threatening. It’s been a long time coming.

Stray Thoughts

Wait. Emiko is evil? Either she’s working for Dante or she’s double crossing him. One of the two.

“Don't touch my things." Can the writers start generating some individualism with Emiko? She doesn't need to be an exact replica of Oliver

The banana is green. Who eats unripe bananas?

The fact William mentions his grandparents’ answering machine is just further evidence they kept all of Oliver’s messages from him.

China White kicking Diaz and Joe Wilson’s ass is the only part of Ghost Protocol I buy.

We missed out on Oliver comforting Felicity post nightmare in bed and it’s NOT okay.

Is Task Force X what they are calling Suicide Squad now because I don’t remember Task Force X?

Dante arranged the longbow hunters. So there’s that missing plot line.

Amy Gumenick cannot shoot a bow to save her life. She’s awful at it.

Oliver reading criminals their Miranda rights is just… wrong. I don’t know why it’s wrong, but it is.

“You’d be breaking the law, which you’re already doing!” OMG this was flat out hysterical coming from Oliver.

I am getting a bunch of questions on the length of the pregnancy scene. I was not bothered by it. I truly was afraid Arrow would simply skip past Felicity telling Oliver. They’ve done it before. There are plenty of moments we would die to see onscreen that happen over hiatus. Anytime there’s any real time jump between episodes I get nervous.

So, I was overjoyed to get the scene at all. I truly did not have any expectations other than Felicity telling Oliver she’s pregnant. That’s a pretty straightforward announcement – been through two myself. I didn’t have a stopwatch clocking it, but I look at the whole scene, with Felicity telling Oliver the kind of hero she wants to be, as a lead up to the pregnancy announcement. The reason this pregnancy is happening now is because both Oliver and Felicity are ready for it. They’ve evolved to a place where they can be parents and heroes.

Maybe some expected a more lingering scene because of 3x01, but for me they are two different situations. There is no dialogue in the scene where Oliver is staring at Felicity and Stephen Amell had to convey all the emotions on his face without saying a word. Even then he doesn't linger long.

This time around it’s a little easier because there’s dialogue and Oliver’s reaction is immediate. He’s immediately HAPPY, which is a million miles away from where he started. It didn’t feel perfunctory. Oliver has learned he deserves good things so there’s no facade. There’s only joy. Quick reaction? Sure. Unearned or glazed over? No. Not to me. I’m taking the win and enjoying the moment for what it is.

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