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cinnamonest · 9 months

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Yandere Profile - Baizhu

When I tell you I adore this man so much, he's so underappreciated and I intend to do my best to do him justice

ft. Changsheng the enabler and Qiqi the liability

WARNINGS: fem reader, dubcon/noncon, abduction, heavy drugging content, mentions of force feeding against a hunger strike, emotional manipulation of a child, homicide

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

If one had to describe his nature in a singular word, it would be careful.

Incredibly, meticulously careful. There is not one single step taken that has not been perfectly planned out ahead of time, multiple possibilities and issues thought through and accounted for. He would not rush into something of this nature unprepared, and more importantly, his cautiousness comes from another trait he has in abundance: determination. Dedication to seeing a goal through, the firm resolution that he will obtain what he desires, one way or another, with no regard to what measures need to be taken to do so, nor how long it will take.

Not to mention, from a moral perspective, one might be surprised at how indifferent he is to the notion of doing something... unethical. People tend to associate medical professionals with some sort of assumed overall moral good, that someone who dedicates their life to the pursuit of the health of others must be a morally sound person in all areas of life by default.

Well, that is true to an extent. He does want to stay within ethical bounds. He's a generally good and compassionate person, yes, and would never go out of his way to harm anyone for the sake of it. He doesn't bear any malice towards anyone. He will inconvenience or burden himself if it means doing the right thing, when the right thing does not pose any risk to him and his goals. And when it's things he doesn't care too much about, he will relinquish a goal if he realizes it would do harm. So overall, it would be correct to say that he is a morally sound person.

But if violating certain commonly agreed-upon ethical boundaries is necessary to obtain his most fervent desires... well.

He's perfectly well-aware. He's self-aware, for starters, acutely so. He knows exactly what he feels and why, knows it is of abnormal degree, and knows what it will inevitably lead to. He knows that both from a social and ethical standpoint, such things are wrong, that it violates society's conventions and standards (not to mention laws) of what is acceptable behavior by limiting another's freedoms and violating their autonomy. It's not even something he really needs to reflect on. He just notices and becomes aware of an intense emotion, recognizes that emotion and its degree of severity, and draws an immediate logical conclusion as to what will happen depending on how he chooses to handle that emotion and how each course of action is perceived by society. Very simple, really.

It's lamentable — he himself has reflected on this to himself multiple times, often speaking aloud to Changsheng about it behind closed doors.

How troublesome that even I am not immune to these sorts of desires...In the end, the nature and instinct of any given creature is immutable, I suppose.

She rarely has anything to offer other than vague warnings of not letting it spiral out of control, which he assures will not happen.

But oh well. Sure, it's inconvenient, but there is no point in fighting something as innate as one's own feelings in this area of things. Suppressing the emotions would be a waste, so it is much wiser and more efficient to simply accept them, then work through how he intends to handle them.

Cautious, intelligent, perceptive, patient, self-aware, willing to violate ethics, and of an indomitable resolve. This combination of traits is, as you might imagine, more or less one of the worst hands of fate that could be dealt to whoever is targeted by the individual possessing them.

He's an easy person to warm up to, though. Very likable and pleasant. He's not nervous around you or anything, and gives no hint of any ill intent, so you have no reason to suspect anything. Well, he might be just a bit overbearing towards you, just barely noticeably touchy or insistent, but it's nothing that strikes you as indicative of anything you should genuinely be concerned over.

Except for this... aura. While nothing he does really concerns you, there is almost some tangible feeling of something being "off" in a way you can't really articulate nor explain. Regardless, he's been helpful and kind to you, so you brush it off as nothing.

There's also distinct lack of the intense outward expression of emotion usually associated with obsessive lovers and abductors and the like. He's fairly... calm about it all. Perhaps it's an ability stemming from his meticulous and careful planning to eliminate risk, or perhaps it's that he has full and acute self-awareness and accurate perception and understanding of himself and why he feels what he does. Or perhaps it's just his nature. Maybe some combination of all of the above. But even at his worst moments, he has a fairly calm aura about him, nothing seems to bother or upset him too much. He always seems to have calculated for every potential misstep or complication.

He does make an attempt to grow closer to you, though. He's masterful with an ability to orchestrate encounters that genuinely seem to be coincidence, as well as creating inconveniences for you that will lead you to seek him out. If anything, you're usually apologizing for doing so, since he seems so busy... but he dismisses it with a wave of his hand, assures you that it's fine, that he's very happy to be of assistance to you.

This, too, isn't just because he enjoys your presence, but it's also a preparatory measure in and of itself. The more familiar you are with him, the closer you consider yourself to be with him, the easier of a time he'll have handling you when the time inevitably comes that he'll have to take certain courses of action that you may disapprove of, to say the least. He needs all the endearment to you he can get before that happens.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

He's a bit conflicted, can't really decide if he wants to or not. His reluctance isn't really based in morality nor fear; he's not particularly concerned with the former on this matter, and he's fully confident he can successfully pull it off, so no need for nervousness.

Rather, he has the sort of possessive, primal desire to take you all for himself, one that he recognizes as a rash instinct that he needs to carefully ponder, and yet, he realizes that the direct consequence of acting on those desires would cause him to fall out of favor with you. He does love your smiles you give him, how nice you've been to him, your kind words, and he knows that would disappear, only to be replaced with resentment and fear, the moment he takes you away from your life.

He often sighs and mumbles to himself about it. What to do, what to do.... such a frustrating predicament.

Human nature is fascinating, isn't it? He's so consciously aware that this is abnormal and unwell, that he should attempt to resolve it, yet he has no desire to resolve it, only craving to further indulge in it. Yet he wants to be certain that he doesn't take any rash action, that he knows what he's doing through and through.

So, he refrains, at least for some time. However, it's not an attempt to refrain permanently — he knows full well that eventually, he will act on his desires, that it's only a matter of time. But for now, he wants to savor every word, every interaction, every smile, until he knows he will eventually cave in, and those things will be gone. He also reasons that, as aforementioned, by knowing you and being acquainted with you longer under your normal life and circumstances, he can attempt to endear himself to you and grow closer to you in that time, which will, he hopes, ease the transition when you no longer have your freedoms, that you will be more inclined to forgive him and act with empathy for him rather than hostility.

However, should he happen upon a coincidence, the stars align and the pieces all fall into place so perfectly without him having to arrange it, well, he'll certainly take the opportunity that presents itself. You show up complaining of fever or headache or something of that nature, and in your discomfort, it doesn't quite occur to you how unusual and seemingly irrelevant the questions he's asking you are—

I assume you let someone know where you were headed when you left home? ...No? Oh, I see....

You don't by chance have anywhere you'll be expected to be in the next short while, would you?

—and it won't, until it's too late.

Otherwise, should the opportunity not arise on its own, he has to wait. The days pass. A few months in total. But the longing and the ache and the scalding feeling of intense jealousy when he sees you with others, it all becomes too much, and he's forced to put into motion a plan he has now had quite some time to prepare for. Invite you over for "something important" with perfect timing, memorizing your schedule to hopefully ensure that it will happen before you see anyone whom you might inform of where you're going. From there, once he has you inside, it's no effort at all from that point forward.

He has a remarkable ability to give off this calm, nonthreatening aura, combined with a gentle and charming voice that lulls you into a sense of safety, that keeps you from noticing anything strange about what he's doing, even if you do still have that faint sense of unease in the back of your mind. It feels sweet and endearing, really, that you trust him so.

So he goes through with it. Sets up the necessary steps, and executes the plan as predetermined.

And then he tells you about it.

Once it's already too late, of course. You already drank what you were given without any hint of suspicion or distrust, and the way your eyes suddenly widen and your body twitches and slumps forward indicates it's setting in.

That's a regular part of the effect, terribly sorry about that. Oh, don't worry, you're not in any danger. You see, it's just... ah, how should I put it...

Thus he starts to go on elaborating on exactly what he drugged you with, and more importantly, begins explaining exactly why. As in, he openly confesses to being deeply enamored, as he puts it, and that he, likewise in his own words, has—

—some sort of abnormal psychological development that has taken place, although I'm not entirely sure how to best articulate it... regardless, I'm sure you now see that these impulses are inducing problematic behavior, but I'm afraid I have already succumbed to them, unfortunately...

He speaks with this lighthearted tone and whimsical sighs if he's explaining some sort of mild, harmless inconvenience, something of little consequence, all while he's gently going about sitting you back upright, closing your mouth so you stop involuntarily drooling, fixing the cup you spilled over and cleaning up what spilled onto the table. As if it's just a regular, everyday occurrence that he's paying little attention to, and not something of great weight and severity.

What this ultimately means is that you won't actually be leaving anytime soon. While unreasonable on its own, I assume that makes sense in the context of what I've just explained to you.

He turns back towards you, loops his arms under your armpits and hoists you up. There's a slight strained grunt with the physical exertion, but he manages to pick you up without too much trouble. He's still talking while carrying you through the door to the hall, but you don't really hear much it as you begin to succumb to unconsciousness — you only really process one more sentence.

You're awfully trusting, you know. You really ought to be more careful, should someone could have malicious intent...

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

The physical restraints aren't so bad. He keeps a reverse lock on the outside of the front door, and for a little while, a singular chain to your ankle.

After a short while, and a verbal agreement that you will not try anything, he gives you a surprising degree of leniency, gives you the ability to roam to some extent. You can be present at the front where strangers show up to the desk, even. But he'll be watching. He has ways, as he puts it, of knowing what you're doing.

You're not sure what to do. It seems like such an opportunity, and yet, you know that someone as calculated as he is wouldn't give you that opportunity without having a plan he could easily enact if something goes wrong. You know he doesn't really place that much trust in your word through your verbal agreement alone. You want to do something to try and catch someone's attention or something, but there's this gut feeling you have that knows that doing that would be a mistake.

He almost certainly wouldn't harm anyone, you're pretty sure of that being true, but... can you say that with one-hundred percent certainty? If pushed to the point of it being a matter of securing you and your arrangement, preventing someone who saw more than they should from telling, can you really be certain he wouldn't take drastic measures...?

You just don't know. Sure, you're fairly certain of his overall goodness of character... but then again, that's also what you thought when you brushed off the occasional comment or expression from him that used to make you feel some faint sense of alarm or unease — that he was certainly a good person, just a bit eccentric at times. You told yourself back then that he was not the sort of person who would ever do anything bad to anyone. You overestimated his goodness once, and look where that got you. Can you really be sure that someone who would go so far as to do what he's already done, wouldn't hurt or kill someone too, if it came down to it...? And when you think even more about it, doesn't the fact that he's letting you roam so much imply that he is ready to take some other measures if you tried anything?

You just don't know. It's all so uncertain.

And he knows that. You can tell from the soft, content, knowing smile on his face. He knows exactly what thoughts are going through your mind. As long as that doubt is there, hopefully you won't force his hand to make him have to take unsavory measures to ensure your security.

Now if you were to actually successfully, temporarily get away and be caught and brought back again, this is where Baizhu actually has a rather unique reaction, both intriguing and odd compared to how other captors and obsessive lovers would react.

That is, he harbors no resentment or anger over your desires to be free. In fact, provided he caught you early, his reaction is fairly calm. If you managed to get out for a while, he's more visibly panicked when he finds you, but he still manages to calm himself down by the time he brings you back, and doesn't lash out or have any sort of angry outburst.

You still endure some form of punishment — can't just let you get away with it, of course, you'd just be more likely to do it again — but you very quickly notice he doesn't really seem all that angry or anything. At some point, you question him on it, and he's very transparent with his answer.

To tell you the truth, I can't really blame you. You're only following your instincts. It's endearing, in a way.

Being angry, he explains, would be nonsensical, silly, unreasonable. It is only natural for a human to desire autonomy and as few restrictions on themselves as possible. Yet, it is also human nature to want to control others, and to have the object of their desires all to themselves, kept away like a treasure. Both his actions and yours are perfectly natural and reasonable, and since he himself has followed his natural inclinations and instincts, he can't blame you for doing the same and following yours.

And then, he smiles.

But it seems you weren't quite capable of achieving your goal. I suppose you'll just have to hope you have better luck on your next attempt... And I, that there won't be one.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

Needless to say, Baizhu is both intelligent and perceptive. Most of the time, he can easily catch you in a lie. More importantly, he knows that given the circumstances, it's obvious you'll be trying to lie to him fairly regularly, so he's on guard about it, making him that much more likely to notice.

But on the rare occasion you do manage to trick him in some way, unless it was something that put you, him, or your situation in genuine danger, he doesn't get too upset. It's just the philosophy he takes, he explains as he shrugs it off— Really, it was foolish of me to not anticipate something like that. Considering the circumstances, I should never have allowed myself to become so unguarded.

Much like with attempts at escape, it's only natural to lie to him to achieve what you want. Likewise, it's only natural for you to receive some form of punishment to deter you from repeating the attempt of deception. Simple. So while he doesn't have a particularly angry or emotional response to it, don't expect to just get away with it either.

He's also very well aware when you manipulate him, acknowledges it even, but similarly to lying, he doesn't seem to mind too much. If anything, as long as it's something mild in nature, he finds it amusing, will chuckle and smile.

Oh, my. I see what you're doing... well, how could I say no when you're being so sweet about it?

That applies only to that which is mild, though. If your request or attempted goal is something that would actually be a risk, he gets far more serious and firm in his approach.

Surely you don't expect me to fall for that, dear. As much as I'd like to fulfill any wish you have, I know better than to take that sort of risk.

It was worth a try. You win some, you lose some.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He knows that mental stimulation will be important to your ensuring that you remain of sound mind and health for the foreseeable future. There's limits, of course, he's not dumb enough to fall for requests for things that you could use to harm him or break out, but he'll get you what you want, within reason. Especially books, which, as he says, are important for keeping your mind sharp. Those he'll get you even without asking, often bringing you something at random because he thinks you might enjoy its contents.

And hey, he also might as well capitalize on the opportunity. To prevent boredom, you can also help him out. Lots of jars that need organizing and labeling, papers that need to be filled and documented, and so on. Of course, he'll double check to ensure there's no maliciously doing it wrong or anything, but he appreciates it if you're willing and compliant.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

He doesn't like to feel like he's being strict or harsh, but he does set specific guidelines. They're fairly short and simple.

One, you will not attempt to leave, or to rope anyone else into "helping" you.

Two, you will not attempt to cause any harm or damage to himself, his property, or any other residents or visitors you may come into contact with.

Third, you will not attempt to commit any action that intentionally causes, or has a potential to accidentally cause, any danger or harm to yourself.

Violate any of these conditions, and naturally, there will be consequences. All actions have cause and effect, this is just the law of the universe, so it is only fair to enforce a consequence.

He's still pretty forgiving, but if you push his limits, he'll begin enacting those consequences, getting progressively more intense according to the nature of your offense. Confining you to one room, putting you back into an ankle shackle, so on and so on. All done with this self-righteous attitude, telling you how it's for your own benefit that this is done.

But along the same previous lines of reasoning as to why he gives you things to keep you occupied, he knows how important stimulation is to one's psychological well-being, and can just as easily use this against you. If you've been very, very bad, repeated attempts at running away and total defiance, some more intense measures are needed. As with any other ailment, your poor behavior is something he has just the thing to treat with.

The dependency itself, you see, creates bonding. Being forced to rely on another for such basic needs is a process equally humiliating and endearing. The isolation, on the other hand, ensures that your brain associates only him with the positive chemicals and emotions induced by having stimuli to free you from boredom, as well as your needs being met and...

He continues to explain it out to you as he goes. You're still only restrained by one ankle binding, but he doesn't need much in that regard, because he doesn't really have to worry about you moving around in the first place. You can barely move a muscle anyway.

It is quite torturous, isn't it? He almost feels bad for you. You still have some control over your face, and he can see the obvious displeasure in your expression. Unable to move your arms, your legs, anything but the truly important muscular functions like being able to swallow and breathe and the like. Forced to sit there numbly while he brings cups of water and spoonfuls of broth to your mouth, when he wipes your body down in substitution for bathing. Yes, it's clear how much you dislike this, but that's the point, isn't it? This would not have to happen if you could just be a bit more compliant. That wouldn't truly be so hard, would it? He asks in such a patronizing voice. Should you keep your mouth shut and refuse to eat or drink, he'll sigh, give up for the moment and try again later. If this persists after a few days, though, he'll just have to force it, and is not above doing so.

After a few days of this, he'll allow it to wear off, provided you've proven your repentance and promise you're going to be good in the future. An unlikely promise, he realizes, but at least the sentiment counts.

Oh, and he does establish one other rule out of frustration after a certain incident: no taking his glasses and hiding them. Really, it was quite a childish act of spite on your part, and caused him a terrible deal of inconvenience. Best to address it and forbid that from reoccurring...

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Rivals are actually something you don't have to worry too much about, in terms of them getting hurt. Baizhu is calculated and reasonable, highly rational, and doesn't take any sort of rash action. And in his mind, as long as you're confined, other people are no longer an issue.

If he feels someone is becoming enough of a threat in the pre-captivity stage of his obsession, being aware of any affection another person has for you or vice versa will simply serve as a catalyst in your abduction, and almost certainly expedite that process, out of urgency to get you away from a perceived threat. Provided you are secured, though, he sees no reason to risk the potential consequences of taking any action against a rival, even if he does harbor resentment for them.

Do not, however, mistake that for instinctive reluctance. It doesn't mean he's the sort of person who would be to afraid to kill someone, or, as you might initially imagine he would be, a person who would feel an innate sense of guilt and wrongness, who is averse to doing anything truly wrong. No, he's more than confident in his ability to successfully pull off a homicide if he were to try, and honestly, he's really not that naturally guilty, that is, in the sense of the sort of person who would be haunted by their actions and feel guilty by instinct. Rather, he has to intentionally hold himself back, tell himself he can't do such a thing no matter how much he wants to, as a matter of dignity.

Homicide would, after all, be more or less entirely antithetical to his universal occupational creed. And while again, he doesn't have an instinct against it, he values his own self-image. He wouldn't feel guilty, but he'd feel disappointed in himself, ashamed to have failed to uphold the idea of sanctity of life and all that. And perhaps even more importantly, such an act is one of petulant spite, if you ask him, and he would be somewhat embarrassed to see himself committing such an act, as if it's an admittance of having let someone else's presence bother him so much. It's a matter, thus, of self-respect and dignity more than anything. Therefore, with you secured away, he'll simply leave them be... although he's not above perhaps a bit of pettiness if the opportunity presents itself, such as being able to mildly inconvenience them somehow without it being connected to him.

That being said, there is a limit to his inhibition for the sake of self-image.

There's one circumstance under which he would see it fit to kill: said rival is looking for you after your disappearance, and he gets the very strong sense that the individual in question knows something they shouldn't, or otherwise seems to have some correct suspicion of what has occurred. He feels their eyes linger on him, this narrow-eyed sort of glare. They ask some rather odd questions. Or perhaps they're foolishly upfront about it, asking if he wouldn't happen to have seen you on the day you were last heard from, an accusatory edge to their tone.

Baizhu is actually quite masterful at keeping calm and maintaining an innocent act in such situations. He doesn't get defensive or hostile, rather, he pretends he just doesn't perceive the subtle tone of accusation. No, I haven't. Terrible thing, that. I hope there's some good news to come out of that situation soon...

But to himself, this confirms that he can't afford to leave this individual undealt with. It's not his fault, really. They forced his hand. Not that he's overjoyed to finally have a reasonable self-justification to kill off the person that has secretly always bothered him more than he lets on, though, no, nothing like that.

His method is perfectly simple, although he may have to wait a while to be able to enact it. But no matter, he can bide his time. Everyone gets sick eventually. They'll come to him. And if it's too urgent, they clearly know far too much and he can't afford to wait, he simply makes an invitation, says he has something he heard or saw that may have some connection to you, and that he wishes to discuss it at once.

If it's the former, and he actually has the chance to drug them, he'll easily take that method, as it's the cleanest and the one he's most adept with. And if he invites them to speak with him, well, he'll still poison their tea and all, but he's not going to get his hopes up that it will actually be consumed, given they have every reason to suspect him. Unfortunately, this may mean he's forced to take more unpleasant means.

As much as he enjoys having them out of the way, it turns out the act of killing someone via means other than poison is actually quite unpleasant. He knows he's not healthy and strong enough at the moment to risk being overpowered if he attempted strangulation or drowning, so he just has to go full-on old fashioned and come up behind them and stab them to death. It's a very brutish act, really. Probably looks very awkward and ugly from an outside perspective. Ugh. Blood on his hands and face and the floor and the table... and now he has to wash this shirt, too... at least it will make a decent addition to the compost for herbs. Sigh.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

Baizhu is largely defined by a sort of passive attitude, although it does have its limits. But for the most part, he's very tolerant and patient. Part of it is just a natural disposition, while it's also in part due to years of having dealt with a wide variety of people of varying, and often unpleasant, temperaments, in varying levels of discomfort, and thus not always pleasant to deal with.

This can be to your benefit, in terms of the fact that he's forgiving and somewhat lenient towards you. If you put on a sweet act or a pitiful apologetic act, in particular, after getting caught doing something you aren't supposed to be, it turns out to be a weak spot for him. He knows full well you're doing it intentionally, but in his own words, he just can't bring himself to be too upset when you have that look in your eyes.

While beneficial under most circumstances, his patience and slowness to anger can also be incredibly frustrating if you're the bitter type who tries to make him mad. He knows you're doing exactly that, and he knows that not giving you the reaction you want will infuriate you further, and to be honest, it's rather cute watching you get more and more upset. He can hold out for quite a while like that, as long as your behavior is not something harmful to anyone.

Be careful overusing or abusing his lenience, though, or pushing the boundaries. If you take it a step too far, do something one too many times, that patience meets its end. You can tell exactly when you've crossed that line by the look on his face, narrowed eyes and a stern, unamused expression. He speaks in a firmer tone than usual, and is far more blunt with his words.

That's enough, now. I've been very patient with you. Do not test me further.

The sudden shift and stark difference to his usual demeanor is enough to make you freeze up, and deters you on its own, far more than it would coming from someone who usually speaks in that sort of voice. Should you nonetheless, perhaps out of spite, continue your defiance, it goes a step further.

He's still not the sort of person to show anger very outwardly. Quite the opposite. You know you have truly, royally fucked up because he goes dead silent. Takes a deep breath in, heavy sigh out. Puts down the pen or closes a book or whatever else he's handling with a harsh sound, stands up without a word. You can feel a twisting in your stomach from the aura coming off of him, feel a sort of dreadful tension in the air. When he does finally speak, it's in that same cold, firm voice, as he latches a hand onto your arm and begins to pull you off into another room.

Alright, then. I see you don't intend to make this easy.

You can start to sputter out apologies at that point, but you're not going to get any further words out of him. After all, you've made it clear that words aren't enough to get through to you anyway.

How do they express affection, or attempt to endear themselves to you?

Baizhu is very fond of pet names. Dear. Darling. Love. Even if it embarrasses you, he doesn't really care. It takes a while to get used to, he throws those terms around so casually, it makes you flustered and feel all warm and you're not really sure how to react. But it just comes naturally to him, really, he wasn't initially intending for it to have any effect, although seeing that it does have an effect is quite amusing.

Otherwise, he likes to just spend time with you. The activity doesn't really matter, in fact, you don't even need to be doing the same thing together or anything. You can be doing your own thing while he does his, that's also fine. He just likes being in your vicinity.

Doing things together, though, is very nice. He's fond of doing mundane, routine things with you. Laundry, cooking, cleaning. Helping him restock by handing him jars while he puts them in their proper place, or vice versa. The little things, the things that don't require a great deal of thought or exchange of words, yet allow him to bask in your warmth and the bliss of simplicity in life with someone you love.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Baizhu is a fairly humble man. He's also objective, when it comes to such matters. Love you as he does, he still acknowledges your weaknesses and strengths.

Considering a person to be "greater" or "lesser" as a whole, he would argue, is in and of itself a concept that could only be born from a rather simple brain to begin with. Such a generalization fails to consider the complexity of the individual human existence. It is frankly impossible, or at least distasteful and lacking any respectable extent of intelligent thought, to take a single person — who has a unique skillset, physical and mental attributes, experiences, and a whole array of knowledge unique to that one individual — and condense all that complexity into one simple lump sum of "value", them do the same for another, and compare the two. The very notion itself is lacking intelligence, and only a person equally lacking intelligence and rationality, or perhaps simply a person of a neurotically grandiose nature, would try to claim one person is inherently of greater value.

But he can recognize those individual traits. If he's more intelligent than you are, he's very open to acknowledging it. If you're in better physical shape and health than he is, he'll readily admit it.

A person is what they are, they each have their strengths. If you ever get into the subject, he'll likely start philosophizing a bit about human nature — how tragic it is that so many humans obsess over those strengths that they are lacking, and in doing so allow the strengths they possess to go to waste. It is human nature to be discontent with oneself, perhaps—

Ah... am I boring you? Haha. No, no, it's quite alright.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He fully acknowledges before ever taking you to be with him, that doing so will be detrimental any hopes of mutual affection. That's part of the pros and cons he heavily weighs before going through with that. But alas, it's a necessary hurdle to face, part of the price of having you to himself.

For the short term, at least.

He's not unfamiliar with psychology to some extent, seeing as it and his own field are somewhat related. He's very well aware of the known effects that prolonged isolation and exclusion from the rest of society, as well as forced dependence, will have on a person.

So he's not too worried about it. Sure, you may be resentful now, but he can wait. As he always does. Patient, calculated. He knows eventually there will be a shift, and then a decline. First comes anger, then that will die down, then a period of quiet despond, and eventually, as the soundness of mind deteriorates, you will come back to him, feel the same fondness you did before. It's predictable, linear, like clockwork. The human mind and the human body are alike in that way, often following patterns that can be accurately predicted far before actually reaching that stage of progression. Just as he can heal various diseases and ailments by referencing existing knowledge of the body, so he can "fix" your mind and your sentiments by utilizing the knowledge of the mind.

If you start to become exceptionally discontent and disagreeable at any given time, he'll just go with the foolproof method that works every time — total isolation besides him, dark room, no stimulus, bound hand and foot or kept immobile by drugs. A few days of that and you usually crack. The cycle repeats, but he always knows just how to get you back to the way he prefers you.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Firstly, as aforementioned, he's almost amusingly transparent. He explains a good deal of what he does to you and exactly why he's doing it, what affects it will have, etc. Most captors would probably keep quiet on exactly how they intend for their actions to induce a bond with you or force you into this or that, but not him.

You're smart, see. He knows you'll probably figure it out anyway. What's the point of withholding it then? Besides, he has a habit of thinking out loud sometimes, so it just comes natural to him to sort of mutter about what he's doing as he goes about his tasks. No point in refraining from that when there's no real reason to.

It's not as if you knowing what he's doing or what the intended effect is will make it any less effective. Maybe you'll develop a bit of spite and fight the effects, thus prolonging the procedure, but it will work all the same in the end anyway. If anything, seeing you resist is rather cute. But you'll succumb nonetheless, so, no need to be secretive.

Another obstacle he faces that others in a similar obsessive predicament do not is, well, himself. Baizhu is forced to take his own health and physical capacity into account to a degree most others never would have to give a passing thought to.

You'd think that his frailness might serve as an advantage to you — and you'd be right, sort of. It would serve as an advantage to you, were he to not account for it.

Unfortunately for you, he does account for it, and goes to great lengths — paranoid measures, even — to ensure you cannot take advantage of it. These chronic problems sometimes follow patterns and cycles, and usually have warning signs before becoming worse, so if he knows he's going to be in a weakened state, he gets much heavier on the restraints, and goes ahead with drugging you into immobility, even though you haven't done anything to deserve what is usually used as a punishment. It's also one of the few times he'll give you a very sincere apology. I know it's unpleasant, but I don't have much of a choice right now. You know it's serious from the lack of his usual warm whimsical voice of his, instead speaking in a very blunt voice laden with discomfort. You suppose you can summon a bit of pity, even if you're frustrated.

You also notice, though, that he's always insistent that he's fine and doesn't need help, even if that's blatantly untrue. The man will sound like he's coughing his lungs up for a minute straight and when you rush over with a concerned look on your face, he forces a chuckle and smiles and waves his hand dismissively. No, no, it's fine, really, that's a regular occurrence, it will die down in a minute or s— and breaks out coughing again.

He doesn't want you to see him in a state he feels looks pathetic. You figure that out eventually, given that he always stands up and goes into another room if the coughing fits get too bad, and how you can tell he's forcing himself to act as if he's not in discomfort or pain when he cares for you during his episodes of poorer condition.

It's something he's very stubborn about too. Usually he's so transparent, but even if you push him, tell him you're well aware he's not well or that you're fine and he should lay down, he continues to downplay it and insist it's not that bad. Just a bit of an ache, he says, or just a bit drowsy. He's relentless on this, no matter how much you push.

There's another unique factor to your captivity, but it doesn't have much to do with Baizhu himself.

See, there's plenty of captors or obsessed lovers you might end up with who have companions or accomplices you would meet, but no other quite so... slithery.

And few quite so cold, either. Changsheng, and the dynamic she takes in relation to the both of you, is a very odd experience.

Firstly, she is of no help to you. You weren't really sure what to expect from a literal talking snake, but you at least figured that if she possessed human thought capacity, she would perhaps possess a sense of empathy as well.

But she never brings up or even really acknowledges the circumstances of your situation. You tried once or twice, but she immediately shuts you down if the conversation is headed in that direction.

These sorts of interpersonal relationships are no business of mine. Know that I have no intention of interference.

While a bit disappointing, you did more or less know that even if she empathized, she wouldn't likely be of much help.

She still takes some getting used to. To be honest, she moves so quietly that for the first little while, she nearly gave you a heart attack on several occasions. You'll be going about some idle task, turn your gaze to look at or reach for something, only to come face-to-face with a snake in very close proximity.

AH! Oh, I, um...

What is the matter?

N-no, I just... uh...

You are at unease due to my presence?

No! No, I just didn't... see you there...

She has a bit of a sharp tongue and stern nature, and you initially do feel very uneasy, both out of not wanting to upset her as well as some primal instinct telling you that the creature that sits next to you is a dangerous one, even if your conscious mind knows better.

She does feel the need to comment on whatever you're doing, especially when trying to do tasks to help (or just to have something to do) by doing some work in the storerooms.

By what system of organization are you determining the order to place these jars in, hm?

You are not plotting anything nefarious back here by yourself, yes?

You there... these counters are slippery. I instruct you to place me on the surface over there.

At first, you feel bullied and bossed around... but over time you come to realize that despite the criticisms, she's intentionally seeking you out, whenever Baizhu is busy. In fact, whenever he goes off to a house call by himself or to take care of some task, it's usually only a matter of minutes before she shows up.

And truth be told, over time, you do bond. It's an unspoken sort of thing, something you think she might have started doing without consciously realizing she's doing it, but she begins... scaling you, climbing over and on you in the same way she does her contractual companion. The first time, you were reading over some piece of mail slid under the door when you felt a slight weight on your shoulder.

What is that? Oh, I see...

Gradually, it becomes an unspoken norm, a habit that neither of you really acknowledge out loud, but you understand it's a significant milestone in your relationship to each other, whatever that relationship may be defined as. You'll be standing around, working on whatever, when you feel the cold scales brush against your ankle... and now that cold sensation is spiraling up your leg, then your waist, and she positions herself around your shoulders just as she would Baizhu himself. Often commenting on or criticizing whatever you're doing, but sometimes just... relaxing there. She likes being on a person — humans are warm, and while she wouldn't admit it, she just sort of enjoys the company sometimes. If Baizhu is unavailable, you're the next best option. And sometimes, she's merely using you as a means of transportation, telling you to go somewhere else so she can get off, with you being able to get wherever it is faster, especially if it involves stairs.

Or sometimes, you'll be sitting down and she sees no reason to go around you to get where she's going, instead just slithering right over your lap without so much as a word, either to cross over you to get elsewhere, or to rest on you for a while. Then there was that time you were laying on the couch, trying your best to take a nap when you stiffened and nearly felt your heart stop for the umpteenth time when a cold sensation spread as she slithered her way underneath your shirt, curling up into a ball on your stomach.

It is cold outside and there is a draft. You will have to suffice for the moment.

And you also notice that, although it may feel harsh, oftentimes her criticisms and advice are genuinely helpful, either making a task significantly easier or preventing you from potentially hurting yourself in a specific process. You still can't quite let go of a bit of bitterness over her essentially being cooperative in your captivity, but you can't say you don't appreciate her.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

He's actually quite touchy from the start. It's one of the few things that sort of unsettles you and gives some sense of something being "off" even early on. You're pretty sure you don't know each other well enough for him to have just brushed his fingers over your arm, or to rest his hand on your shoulder, or to clasp your hand between his for a moment as he tells you he'll see to this or that that you've requested. The touches continue to grow more noticeable with time, and they're just so very perfectly lingering for a time that's long enough to be noticeable, but not long enough for you to feel like saying something is a warranted reaction. No, you'd be overreacting if you said anything, right? It's not that bad, it's only for a few seconds, so perfectly timed as if he's knowingly releasing his touch at the right second. Always right on the edge.

Even after that, once you're living with him, he's very casually touchy. He'll run his fingers back and forth over your side or back when you're sitting or lying next to each other, runs his fingers through your scalp, rest an arm over your side or shoulders.

His drive, on the other hand, depends entirely on his current physical condition. Whenever certain chronic problems are flaring up and his health takes a negative turn, as you can imagine, his sex drive also plummets, and he's in too much discomfort to do much movement anyway. Other times, with other problems flaring up, it's particularly frustrating because he does still have a sex drive, but is in too much discomfort to do much... there's some creative ways to work around that, but nonetheless, it's irksome.

He's not particularly reserved about sexuality at all, actually, under the right circumstances. Of course, if asked about his reasoning for this, he acknowledges and understands the cultural sensitivity to such things, and concurs with the topic being something you don't just randomly talk about; that is, he obviously has a firm grasp on what is and isn't appropriate in various settings and doesn't violate conventions of appropriateness. It's just that when it's alone with you, he can talk about the filthiest and most intimate of things without batting an eye or any sign of embarrassment. It's just a natural part of human life, isn't it? If anything, the act is one that should be viewed as beautiful. The poetic sort of people tend to describe it as an ultimate expression of affection between individuals, and if you ask him, that's something that should be treasured.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

He views forcing that sort of thing as a behavior that's more or less beneath him. Barbaric, brutish, uncivilized... brute force, that is. Other measures, though, that's another matter. Things like drugs and coercion don't have quite the same vibe of brutality and inhumanity.

Regardless, though, the key factor is your experience. He's the type that can't really enjoy a sexual experience unless you're also clearly enjoying it... the catch being that you obtaining pleasures and enjoyment is not exactly the same thing as outright consent. As long as you cum, it counts as being mutually enjoyed.

He still doesn't really like the thought of having to be physically forceful though, that would make him feel brutish. He'll be sure to sedate you early on. If you're sluggish and barely moving, you can't really offer resistance in the first place... and you're more pliable to his hands, too.

And yes, he will use your pleasure against you, telling you that you clearly don't hate it all that much — just look at what you've done, he says, holding up the fingers coated in your own fluids, pressing them against your tongue, your jaw too weak to prevent him from sliding his fingers in. The mouth says one thing, the body another... but the mouth is capable of lying, the body really isn't, so it's better to trust that which he knows is being honest.

What is intimacy with them like? What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

He can't go too hard and fast... well, he sometimes does anyway, his efforts aided by adrenaline, which quickly catches up to him as soon as it's over. He's not particularly rough though, nor does he cause you pain. That's not to say he's entirely without a sadistic side — he does find himself enjoying seeing you in a state of humiliation and anticipation, he just prefers to use pleasures and intense, but not painful, sensations to do so.

Drugging

That is, of course, the one you likely anticipated the most. He's not at all shy about it. Even if you by chance had something consensual going on before being kept captive, he's very open about the desire to experiment on your body by triggering reactions to various substances.

There's a variety of different options to try, lots of combinations and records of the effects different traditional medicines have on the body. This one heightens blood flow and skin sensitivity, this one induced lactation... ah, but his personal preference is this one that gives you a buzzing, euphoric high, accompanied by a voracious appetite for pleasure and orgasms for the next hour or so. He gives you the full history of how ancients in this area used to use it for fertility ceremonial purposes back in the day, explaining it calmly while he ties your hands to the headboard, as you pant and whimper and gasp for breath underneath him. Quite nice, isn't it?

And if you're being less than compliant and agreeable, he can also go the route of sedation. Not entirely, no, he doesn't want you to be fully unconscious, nor forget any of it later. No, what he forces into your mouth makes you more... relaxed. You, after the fact and in an accusatory tone, use the word 'paralyzed,' but he insists that that's an overdramatization. Firstly, it's not the same medication he uses when he actually leaves you fully unable to move, and secondly, you can still sort of move your fingers and toes and head, your muscles are just relaxed and at ease, preventing movement of actual limbs. Your words slur, you feel dizzy and tired, yet you feel every little touch. And see, your abdominal muscles twitched when he runs his fingers over your stomach, so you still have some muscular control... Not to mention, he can still feel your insides spasming and clenching when he curls his fingers inside of you, too.

Oh, and even in general, he makes sure you take a daily dose of tea made from some cocktail of bitter herbs he put together. You're told it's a blend that boosts your metabolism and brain activity and blood circulation, so on and so on, basically like a multi-purpose medicine for overall health. Which is true, it does do all of those things. It just so happens that all of those things also are known to increase sex drive, not to mention a few of them boost hormone production. But that's just a side effect, of course.

Orgasm control

Baizhu has a very specific long-term goal in mind to train you for: getting you to cum on command. It's a fantasy he's entertained in his head quite a few times. No reason to not try to make it a reality, now that he has you here with him. The concept itself is fascinating, the idea that a largely involuntary bodily reaction can be gradually, perfectly conditioned to align with someone else's words. It's such an ultimate power trip and absolute control, the thought is intoxicating.

And of course, being as patient and dedicated as this man has already proven himself to be, you know there's no getting out of it. Hours upon hours of edging, being told not to cum because you can't without his explicitly telling you to. If you do, he pulls his hand away, ruining the orgasm itself, leaving you to whimper and whine, that much more so if, after a few failed attempts, he ends up applying an additional corporeal punishment to try and further the negative association with cumming too soon. If you're good and endure, cum when he tells you to, you'll be likewise rewarded in some way.

Over and over. It goes on for weeks, months, that you have these training sessions, until it's perfected. You yourself are almost shocked by the progress, to realize just how much your body and your subconscious has submitted — it's on one of his better health days, he has the energy and lack of any aches to be able to take you on your hands and knees from behind, and it does feel good, but you're not that close — and yet, when he pulls your upper half up, forces your back into an arch, puts his hand on your throat and tilts his head down to speak directly in your ear and tells you to in the lowest, huskiest voice you've ever heard him speak in to cum for me — and you spasm, it hits you like a punch to the gut with the way the high rushes over your body. It leaves you sputtering and shivering as you collapse onto the bed, wide-eyed in shock. Even he seems a bit surprised too, chuckling as he sees the stunned expression on your face.

Oh, that worked better than even I anticipated...

He can also use orgasms as a form of withdrawal and coercion punishments. Primarily at the times that you're immobilized. You'll begin to grow needy after a time, and that makes you far more compliant. He keeps track of how long it's been since you last got to cum, and makes sure to remind you, just so you know how long you've been missing it, and so you'll be that much more quick to crack under the desperation of need.

Instruction/Obedience

Sometimes, once you've reached a state where he's assured you'll be fairly compliant with him, he gets surprisingly passive when he comes to you for intimacy.

Physically passive, at least. Motions you over with a finger gesture, starts giving you instructions. His voice is always so charming and gentle that it's hard to call it a command, per se, but it's telling you what to do nonetheless. To take this or that off, to straddle his waist, kiss him, put it in your mouth, ride him, touch yourself, on and on as he walks you through each little motion he craves to watch with his own eyes. It gets more specific and lewd with each instruction, starting off with just take your clothes off and eventually progressing to telling you exactly how to touch yourself, rub in circles, curl your fingers, lower yourself down and take him in, roll your hips, bounce on his cock, look him in the eye when you cum, every little thing.

...Eventually, you figure out that he does this on the days where he's not feeling well enough to do the moving himself, yet is still in good enough condition that he still has a sex drive. What a clever adaptation.

Exposure

It's not something he uses often, seeing as there are other people than just the two of you in his residence, but it can make a suitable punishment whenever you're confined to one room, or when everyone else is out. There's something just endearing about seeing you all embarrassed and flustered after being forced into nudity, the way you try desperately to cover yourself with your arms, the way you get all pouty in your humiliation and refuse to look him in the eye as you demand your clothes back.

But this is your choice, he reminds you. If only you would be a bit more cooperative, that wouldn't have to be the case, but that's entirely up to you. Until then, if you want to get out of bed for any reason, you'll just have to walk around as you are. And no, he's not going anywhere. Why would he leave when he has such a nice view? He smiles when you puff your cheeks out and curl your hands into fists out of embarrassed fury. Eventually, you do have to give in, get up and go do whatever it is you need to — and you feel his eyes on you the whole time as you do. When you glare in his direction, he just tilts his head. Oh? Is something the matter?

Such a shameless pervert, you think to yourself. What's worse, you know if you say something, he'll pull some cheesy line about 'examining' you or another. Ugh.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He'd be a bit worried about having any biological children. One one hand, there's a lot to be gained by having something tying you to him on such a deeply emotional level, that would likely cement you in place by making running away that much harder, and suppress your will to leave to begin with, or even accelerate your attachment to him.

At the same time, he has to be realistic. Is he really in any position to be caring for children, a task requiring great stamina? There's also the possibility you could turn children against him, or something like that. And if you were to encounter some sort of gestational health problem and require medical attention, there's no telling whether or not you'd be so stubborn as to to refuse to comply out of fear he'd drug you or something, which could pose very real risks to your well-being if he couldn't get you to work with him. So as nice as the notion seems when pictured in the ideal, there's just too many risks and complications that could take place.

But, there's a solution. One that will easily provide the same psychological attachment, and thereby allow a subtle degree of manipulation.

Once he can be sure you wouldn't try to harm her or anything, he deliberately ensures you and Qiqi spend time with each other. Initially, he tells you to watch over her while she goes about her tasks, help her out a bit. She can be forgetful, you know. Regardless of your sentiment, you can't bring yourself to be cold or rude to what is ultimately, despite the circumstances, still a relatively normal little girl.

Although he does, before leaving you two alone, make sure to give you a very firm warning. Well, the words themselves aren't a a threat, but there's an edge to his tone, when he responds to you raising your eyebrows and asking if he's really allowing this.

It's quite alright. I trust you surely wouldn't try to get a child involved in anything you shouldn't.

The words admittedly do have a bite to them. Would it really be a moral wrong, for you to try and enlist her for help...? It's not like he would ever harm her, but still, you question the sort of psychological damage you'd be risking. There's an inherent feeling of wrongness when you think about putting the kid under a situation that, if you succeeded in getting her to help you, would result in a great deal of distress and confusion and even long-term psychological damage from what would ensue. And when you think about it even further, you realize with a twisting feeling in your gut that if you escaped your captor and got him locked up... what would happen to her...? It's an unpleasant thought, even if you tell yourself you'd make sure she was cared for.

Nonetheless, eventually, on one of your worst and most bitter and resentful days, in a moment of desperation, you do finally crack. It will be fine, you tell yourself. You're doing something good overall. Someone like that shouldn't be responsible for a kid in the first place, right? So if you just get her to run by the law enforcement when she's out herb-gathering...

Listen, I, uh, I need you to do something for me, okay?

Mm...? Okay...

You wait patiently as the hours pass, hoping you look like less of a nervous wreck than you are, hoping you're not actually as jittery as you feel, a whole swarm of emotions of dread and hope and anticipation swirling in your gut. You practically pounce on the poor girl when she comes back through the doors.

Did... did they say anything? Are they coming?

You're met with a blank stare, a long pause.

Uh... who...? Was I supposed to... do something...?

You're pretty sure you gave up either the third or fourth time that happened. Can't really remember which. You start to realize that the reason he seemed so unbothered by the thought of leaving you alone with her wasn't so much his trust in you as much as it was complete assurance there was never any real risk anyway. Sigh.

But you don't hold it against her. You continue watching over her and taking care of her when you can. And the most frustrating part is that you know exactly what the intent is, and yet, you also know it's working.

You find yourself caring more and more about the girl. There was that time she stumbled and fell flat on her face and before you even really processed what you were doing, you'd already rushed over across the room to get her back up. Hey, hey, are you okay...? Or the time everyone else had stepped away for a moment due to some issue or another, leaving the front of the pharmacy unmanned for just a few moments — just enough time to find some big, disgruntled-looking guy looming over the child (who admittedly didn't seem intimidated or anything, just the usual blank stare), going on about some complaint he must have found no one else present to give to, and once more, without really thinking, you found yourself rushing over, picking her up and pulling her away, holding her to your side as if to shield her, finding yourself growing immediately defensive, glaring back. The hell is wrong with you? The owner will be back in just a minute, you'll have to wait. You find yourself a bit surprised at your own sharpness of tongue.

You feel this caring, protective swell in your chest regrading her. You're not so headstrong as to deny to yourself the truth, that you know you've developed emotional attachment towards and even some maternal instinct for the child. That admittedly, you wouldn't want to leave her, and that you'd worry how she'd fare by herself without you, even if you know she was doing fine before you. And most upsettingly, you know that that was exactly what the plan was.

Maybe if it had been one-sided, then, at least you could have shaken the feeling off, but that's not the case either. You make a habit of taking some time to yourself in a specific room every day, a time in the late afternoon when there's always a rush of people coming in, leaving Baizhu himself quite busy, so you get some time to sit and read or whatever task you set yourself to. A routine quickly develops — there's a set of pattering footsteps in the hall, she pokes her head around the door to check if you're there, and quietly shuffles in and sits next to you. Silent, but present. She doesn't say or do anything, she just sits.

Not that that's the only habit that develops. It's one of those situations that progresses subtly yet quickly, so you don't really remember when each starts. You just become aware one day that each little routine or habit has been going on for some time now. That when you walk around the back of the pharmacy going about your day, there's often a little hand clinging to your skirts or pant legs, quietly walking alongside you while latching on. That when you make yourself something to snack on, you get out two plates or bowls and make two helpings of whatever it is without really thinking about it.

She doesn't usually have a lot to say, but it's always pleasant, she's not quite like the stereotypical hyperactive kid, no, she lets you do whatever you're doing and doesn't interrupt much, just seems to want to be around you.

You allow it, of course. You don't have the heart not to, even though you know you shouldn't, that you shouldn't allow the closeness and should push her away because you know it will inevitably lead to exactly what he wants.

You can still pinpoint the exact moment, though, that you knew it was already too late. Sitting there doing some idle task or another in silence when you feel weight leaning over against your side, head resting on your arm, and that soft, monotone voice.

I like having you here.

Dammit. You could physically feel that tug on your heart. If that wasn't the final nail in the coffin, nothing else could top the emotion that gave you. You resign yourself to finally acknowledging that you've already fallen for the scheme.

...Not that she's just an advantageous tool. The flip side disadvantage is that she's also a bit of a liability. He's given her the 'if you tell anyone about her, she'll have to go away forever' talk several times over, and the poor girl always widens her tired eyes and seems very distressed at that notion, but her memory is not exactly known for being that great. There was that time some law enforcement came by to ask about you, saying something about how someone claimed to have seen a young woman in this courtyard area on the night of the disappearance. When your name is spoken, the girl's eyes widen, her lips part and she's just started to raise her arm up to point to the back room and say the words 'oh, I kn—' when she's interrupted by being picked up, hand clamped over her mouth and carried out of the room—

Ah, why don't you go run along—

And unceremoniously set in the hall, the door shut behind.

...Not good for a child to hear something fearful like a disappearance, that's all. Could give her nightmares or something. Surely they understand that...?

Thankfully, the present officials do, just nodding and continuing on, seemingly not taking that as reason to suspect anything. Poor Baizhu, it's one of the few moments he actually nearly lost composure, slumping back into a chair with a heavy sigh of relief as soon as they leave. That surely did not do his heart palpitation issue any favors...

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

One of the most unbearable things is the wait and the dread. It's never immediate. He always says something to the effect of ah, I need some time to think about how to handle this..., which you come to realize is just intentionally dragging out your fearful anticipation. To say he has somewhat of a sadistic side would be a fairly accurate statement, he doesn't really want to cause you physical pain, but he does find himself enjoying watching you squirm and shudder and stiffen, consumed with anticipation, dread and fear, as well as reactions of humiliation and embarrassment. He tries to refrain to some extent, but finds himself indulging in invoking those reactions from you more often than he'd like to admit for the sake of his own perception of his self-control.

It's not particularly painful, though, so you can be grateful for that... although there is a sort of dull ache after a while. Getting the drugs into your system is the only difficult part, as you squirm too much to safely inject you, but refuse to open your mouth, so compliance is a bit of a challenge, forcing him to find some means of holding you still. From there, your body sort of does the punishing for you. It's unlike anything you've ever felt — an unbearable sensation of heat, so intense it leaves sweat rolling down your skin, leaves you panting and shivering and gasping for breath, limbs twitching as they desperately pull against the binds keeping your ankles and wrists taut against the bedposts.

He wouldn't leave you to suffer that alone, of course. Well, maybe for a short while, half an hour or so, to heighten the desperation, but after that, he's right there to help you, affectionately running his hand over the top of your head and speaking to you in a soft voice, all far too gentle to be one and the same as the person responsible for your present state of misery.

What do you need? Tell me how to help you.

You're not compliant at first, of course. You shake your head and clench your jaw and refuse to just make this so much easier on you both. It takes a little while. A little more urging and comforting, running his fingers over your thighs and sides and all the parts of your flesh just sensitive enough to earn a shudder, before you start to melt into his touch, and eventually give in, tell him what you want.

There we go. That wasn't so difficult, was it?

Not that the torment ends there, of course. Just giving in to tell him isn't enough.

But you haven't been entirely... appreciative, have you? If I do this for you, it pains me to think it will only go unrecognized like everything else I do for you. If you ask with sincerity, maybe...

Once you've swallowed your pride entirely, then, you can get some semblance of relief. Although that itself becomes torturous with time. The intensity doesn't die down, the unbearable urge is still there, yet each successive orgasm begins to become painful, each erogenous spot on your body becomes sore and hypersensitive to the touch. You loathe to admit you end up in tears by the end of it. No worry, though, he's right there to comfort you through it... and ensure you this doesn't have to happen, but you continue to choose it time and time again.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Curvature. It's not really any one specific spot, per se, but he would say it counts. The degree of it doesn't really matter, whether it's slight or pronounced. He likes the way his hands feel running over curved areas like your hips and waist, thighs, shoulders. It's something he can appreciate even when his eyes are closed, late at night, just slowly running his hands over the spots and feeling the bends and dips. There's also, of course, the fact that it provides a nice sort of grip, a spot he can lock his arms or hands around and know you won't be able to pull away easily.

#qqi simultaneously being bzhu's greatest tool but also riskiest liability is amusing to me #yandere genshin impact #baizhu x reader

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rongzhi · 4 months

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what did you mean by reblogging that post about the uyghur genocide in china? can you elaborate?

Means I agree with what op said

If you want some elaboration with points to jump off, you can read the direct follow up to their post. Check out the notes as well. I think this post (yes, it's a reddit post. There are links within) also has a good summary of some things. I don't really keep a bookmark of better sources but again, you can use the discussions for jumping off points if you like—there's a number of links from both "sides". I highly encourage you to do your own research as there is much back and forth on the issue, but I think you will find that there is a certain... spottiness... a sort of general Lack of substance but a lot Spin when it comes to the mainstream reports/sources you will generally find on the topic.

I think as you read, it can all very shocking to read the reports by the Guardian or the BBC or whoever, and that points to something that I agree with in the post that I reblogged initially: "Of course, any decent person would rather believe a claim of genocide than deny it out of basic morals, and that's part of what makes it so sickening."

I think with what's happening in Palestine, there has been some renewed discussion about various genocides happening globally. I have seen more than one well-meaning post on this site that has included Uyghur genocide on the list of genocides to stand up against. Now I'm not a particularly politically vocal person—have not really ever said much about anything on this blog until more recently—and I've never really posted on "Uyghur genocide", not even when I started this blog during COVID lockdowns and was getting anons harassing me/demanding I answer for such things (something that has died down a lot, either as I have never responded or I blocked all the anons who were doing that), but the charge of "Uyghur genocide" has always weighed very heavily on my mind; first, a couple years ago when I first learned about it, due to the sheer horror at the idea; then as I started to periodically look into it, due to a sense of guilt over the possibility that my increasing suspicion of its falsity was a sign that I was falling complicit to covering something up. But frankly I don't think that's the case. But, it really is fucked up and vile and I thought OP of the post in question summed up exactly the root of that particular emotional facet.

My own two cents (what little that it's worth) is that in the harshest light possible, you could say that there's a likelihood that human rights abuses have been committed in some cases in the broader deradicalisation effort the government has implemented. I do think that that there is likely a level of prejudice or at least an othering of especially those who live in rural Xinjiang or in bordertowns far removed from the cities (regular rural alienation in other words). Obviously none of this is "good" and should be ignored or deemed necessarily acceptable, but none of it is genocide, either. And by overshadowing any police mistreatment or such with a charge as serious as genocide, it also does a real disservice in terms of rectifying anything short of it (including the claim of "cultural genocide").

That's all I have to say about it really.

Edit: fixed typos

#text #answered ask

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leviathanspain · 10 months

Note

i just saw your guidelines , thank you!! sorry it flew right over my head, i appreciate you for directing me to the page when you responded :D

i have two ideas but you may choose which one interests you the most!! thank you again so much, i love your writing <3

would like a kylo ren x reader please, pronouns can be whatever you'd like but i prefer she/her. the point of view is up to you! i prefer second but i think you prefer third and/or first and i don't mind either or!

the first idea is kylo and y/n have been together for two years but it was kept within the first order and not public because kylo knew people (like the resistance) might use it against him. maybe during a fight between the first order and the resistance on a planet, y/n would get kidnapped by the resistance. this was finn's idea because he knows kylo has a significant other. what the resistance does with y/n is up to you, whether it be to lead kylo into some sort of trap, or to get information out of her, a mix of both... it's all up to you! finn knows that she's his only weakness. eventually kylo will save her. bonus points if she's in rough shape and in bad physical condition. kylo gets really upset because he thinks he’s doing a bad job keeping her safe and that he failed to protect her. angsty , self-loathing kylo but y/n trying to make him feel better.

the other idea has a bit of angst aspects as well but less action. it’s been about half a year or maybe even a year of kylo and y/n dating. everyone knows of his anger issues and tantrums. not even stormtroopers will want to be within 10 feet of him when he’s having an “episode”. the only person who would go up to him is y/n. one time kylo was so upset that he didn’t think before acting. when y/n went to calm him down he hurt her. nothing too physically harming , it hurt more emotionally than it did physically. maybe he yelled at her a lot and said things he didn’t mean , he could do anything. then she gets super upset and runs off to their shared quarters. he ends up finding her crying.

he’s never seen her cry or show weakness before.

you can pick one of the two!! thank you so much again and please , if these topics aren’t interesting , please tell me <3

stargirl

kylo ren x reader

synopsis: in your captivity, all you can think about is him, in love and in hate

a/n: anything in italics is a past memory, and i just combined the two into one, so i hope you like it!!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you had wondered when you’d be interrogated. it was inevitable, you had been through enough war and fighting to know that whenever someone was kidnapped and held captive, they would be interrogated.

you had done it before, multiple times.

you couldn’t say that you hated it. the only dark part of your morality let you love what you’ve done. of course, having the pleased eye of kylo ren staring at you was also the encouragement you needed whenever you felt doubts.

the door had opened unexpectedly, you could hear the woosh, and immediately you closed your eyes in anger, “what is it?” you heard the footsteps of heavy boots, most likely a trooper or a knight.

you turned around and saw the opposing figure of one of the knights of ren. you raised your eyebrow and the knight cleared their throat, “master ren has been acting strange,” again they cleared their throat, anxiety waved off of them, “he’s been..” they trailed off and you inhaled slightly.

the knight exhaled, their shoulders dropping with relief at your reaction. this was nothing new. kylo had his fits of rage or tantrums where he was practically inconsolable.

after working with him so closely and developing more than just a friendship, you were well versed in the game of calming down kylo.

you waved the knight away, “i will be right there.” the knight nodded, gave a respectful bow and walked off.

there was a loud slam against your cell that awoke you. the pathetic excuse for a blanket fell of your shoulders as you sat up, wiping your eyes as you heard the cell door creak open, “let’s go.” a hand came up to your arms and pulled you up onto your feet. you would protest, but you stayed silent, keeping a calm face. but the man’s fingers dug into your arm, making it hard for you not to cry out.

you were hauled out of the cell and practically dragged to another room, nearly as small as the cell, you were pushed inside, made to sit at one of the only two chairs in the room.

you looked around, there was no sign of the rest of the resistance members. perhaps they were hiding their prisoners away from the others, obviously on purpo-

“you can stop trying to figure out where everyone else is.” he was tall, a younger looking man, his face whispered familiarity.

he pulled the chair out opposite of yours and sat down carefully, his eyes grazing over your face. you looked at him, not willing to break eye contact.

he smiled hard, almost menacingly, “isn’t this odd? we’ve met, many times before..i know you, but you don’t know me..” he trailed off, “y/n.”

your name peeked your attention. hardly anyone outside of the order knew your first name. only kylo, a few officers, and the knights knew your true name. but you were always referred to as iza’re, or iza’re ren.

you narrowed your eyes at the man, “get to the point. what do you want from the first order?” you were getting bored, and if this is how it’s going to be, you needed to cut it short.

“you don’t know who i am?” the man looked surprised to see you so nonchalant. as if your true name was supposed to be the key to everything.

you shrugged again, leaning your elbows on the table, you got close to his face, “you say that like i’m supposed to care. i won’t repeat myself again,” you hissed, “what do you want from the first order?”

“get out. all of you!” kylo ren’s anger exhibited itself in his voice, a large hand outstretched itself towards the door, the metal door heaved open with the force and the rest of the troopers filed out, quickly as can be.

fn-2187 stared at kylo ren. even under his mask, he could just imagine his expression. fn-2187 knew that the moment you had walked in, that this wasn’t going to end well.

he followed the rest of the troopers out to the hallway. there was a large window that allowed people to see in, and fn-2187 had walked slow so that he could end up in front of the window.

“you need to calm down.” you had been talking to kylo through the force the entire way here. he was being stubborn, unresponsive to your usual tactics, you realized that maybe this wouldn’t be like other times.

“kylo.” you called his name, his back was turned to you and you were dying in the silence.

“why can’t you ever just stay out of it?” kylo turned around on his heel, the dark fabric of his cape followed him, and he began to stalk towards you, “hmm? why do you always think that you can save the day? you’re pathetic. a pathetic excuse for a force user, a pathetic excuse for a soldier of the first order..” he listed off all your weaknesses in a cruel list, “i cant stand to look at you. you make me fucking sick.” he had stopped you cold against the wall. even just arms length away from you, you could feel the rage, feel the truth to his feelings radiate off of him.

you wanted to cry. right then and there, you wanted to ball yourself up and sob on the floor.

but you scrunched your face slightly, as if not to lose the nerve, “find me when you’re done being an asshole.” you didn’t even look at him as you stalked past him, glancing at the open window towards the troopers, who were all facing away from the window.

except for one.

“what do you mean you ‘think’? we’ve been holding her for days and you’ve been in there for hours, and that’s what you’ve come up with?” poe had been overseeing the interrogation, and it was clear that it was going nowhere.

“threatening to blow up starkiller base would get us somewhere if we actually could.” poe rubbed his face, the feeling of a headache was coming on.

“why can’t we?” finn stared at poe, and poe laughed, realizing that finn was being serious.

“are you sure it’s her? it couldn’t be someone else? another trooper, perhaps?” poe looked at finn, who sighed, “she’s the only one i’ve ever seen that close to ren. it’s gotta be her.”

kylo hadn’t thought to apologize. but you had been ignoring him for days, even going as far as having stormtroopers deliver messages.

he had had enough when he had tried to talk to you through the force, and felt nothing in response.

“are you done?” the sound of the metal door opening had you turning your neck to see kylo ren, helmet off, hair dishelved, stalking in.

he set his helmet down on your dining table and kicked his shoes off, “i asked you something.” he stared down at you, his eyes searching you for something back.

“really?” you come in here after the way you talked to me a few days ago and expect us to be fine?” you looked up from your data log and stood up, “you yelled at me, tore me apart, called me pathetic many times over-“

“i’m sorry.” kylo interrupted you, and his face softened. this was utterly unlike him.

“what?” your own voice sounded distant and you blinked. a hand flew to your chest to feel the beating heart inside, “did you just-“

“yes. i am sorry.” kylo walked over to you, and watched as your face broke, tears spilling as you walked into his arms.

silence and the sounds of your sniffles filled the room. all that you ever wanted from him was an apology, and he had finally done it.

“i swear to you,” kylo broke the silence, the quiet was drowned out by his husky voice, “that i will never do that to you again.”

“and you caught them..?” poe’s eyebrows knitted together with confusion. his pilot uniform jacket hung on the chair beside him, as he paced the room, “let’s rewind,”

finn nodded, and poe sighed, “you were sent down to give her a message,”

“it had something to do with the knights.” finn had tried to remember what exactly the message was about but it had been nearly two years since then.

“and instead kylo ren answered the door?” poe repeated the events and finn nodded. “are you sure it wasn’t his quarters and you’re just an idiot?”

finn’s expression fell and he rolled his eyes, “stormtroopers are supposed to know. it was her quarters, her name was in a blazing plaque outside the door.”

a knock at the door had interrupted you. kylo had stripped off his clothes, leaving only the thick black sweatpants on, but even then, they hung dangerously low on him.

you, on the other hand, barely had anything on.

“fuck.” you cursed, and stuffed whatever shirt you could find off the floor. just by the scent of it, you knew it was kylo’s, but you still shrugged it on. you got off the bed, trying to find some shoes but kylo grabbed your arm, “i’ll get it.”

he was already getting up, and even with your protests, it was too late.

“master ren!” the robotic voice of a trooper met your ears and you cringed. troopers talked, and this was definitely something to talk about. there was an exchange of words between the trooper and kylo, until finally, “you are dismissed, fn-2187.”

“that’s kind of hot, no?” poe had been staring a little too long at the wall, clearly imagining what finn had described.

finn’s face turned into a picture of disgust, “there is something wrong with you.”

“iza’re to starkiller base. iza’re to base, does anyone copy?” you were falling, and fast.

the resistance had been chasing you for almost an hour. you had tried to lose them in some astroid graveyard but they were on your ass, until they shot your ship.

“fuck! someone! iza’re to base!” your hands clutched at the controls as you felt your chest rise and fall with fear.

kylo was right. you should have never gone off alone.

“kylo! im just off the astroid chunks by naboo.” just as you had finished telling your location, the ships power shut off, and you felt yourself blackout as the ship began to fall harder.

kylo had them playback your voice. over and over again.

the fear in your voice had been seared into his mind for days. he had tried to reach you over the force but was met with nothing. the usual thrum of your power would at least let him know you were alive. but he felt sick when he felt nothing.

“and no one heard this until when?” kylo looked around at the table filled with officers and military personnel. they all had this look of stupidity on their faces that made kylo want to knock them all out cold.

“this morning-“ a staff spoke up, “we believe she was taken by the resistance.”

kylo’s hands smashed against the table, “this morning?! find her!” he yelled at the officers. he raised his hands and suddenly they were all clutching at their throats, “find her now or i will murder every single one of you until someone does.”

“she’s loyal.” rey had observed, watching you through the glass, she wondered if you could see them all, gawking at you.

“of course she is. she’s sleeping with the supreme leader of the first order.” poe commented, rolling his eyes slightly, “i say we just lie.”

finn turned towards poe, “didn’t you just say that we shouldn’t lie? you got all mad-“

poe shrugged, “i was a different person then. say that ren is dead, and the first order is ashes-“

“oh like she’ll believe that-“ finn replied sarcastically. he had his hands on his hips and stared at you.

you were looking off into the distance, totally unaware of them on the other side staring at you.

“she’ll know. you said she’s a force user, correct?” rey peered at you and finn nodded, “yes. why?”

“she’ll know we’re lying. she probably also knows that we can see her,” you turned suddenly, meeting their eyes, “-right through this glass..” rey trailed off, and poe whistled lowly.

“wow. this is embarrassing…” poe laughed nervously. finn laughed, patting his friends shoulder as he walked off.

kylo was close. he hadn’t realized until now that it was the distance muffling your power. he could feel you, a quiet thrum in his head, he knew you were close.

“kill anything and everyone. i don’t care- just get her out alive.” his instructions were incredibly clear to the knights and troopers. he wanted you more than he wanted the resistance gone.

“so..” he had been trying to get you to talk for almost thirty minutes now. unlike his friend, this one seemed to be a little dull. “what’s between you and ren?”

you raised your head, and narrowed your gaze, “you mean my superior, the supreme leader kylo ren?” you were so serious that poe had to think about it before nodding weakly.

“nothing. bring me the trooper. fn-2187, is it? at least he knew what kind of questions to ask..” you waved a hand, dismissively towards the man and turned away, hoping he would leave.

“oh my god.” poe let the words escape as he shut the door behind him, “i don’t know what he sees in her-“ he looked at finn, “she’s asking for you. like specifically for you.” he raised his eyebrows at finn, who laughed in shock.

rey looked at the men, “don’t tell me you’re going to go in there.” she held up a hand to finn and he shrugged, “what else should we do?”

rey sighed, “give her up? she’s clearly nobody to ren, maybe finn was wrong.”

kylo ren had blown up half of the resistance base. he had felt nothing as he did so, and nothing more as he stepped off his ship, and hauled ass to wherever the hell you were.

he tried to use his own force powers to try and locate you, cutting down anyone that tried to fight him.

but it was worth nothing. nothing drove kylo ren more than you, and he would find you even if it killed him.

the argument between poe and finn had barely lasted before the emergency alarm had gone off. shouts echoed down the hall and they all began to run.

troopers were all over the place, blasters were shooting at everyone and they knew this was kylo.

“maybe finn was right..” rey looked at the men with a sheepish smile, and finn rolled his eyes, “get down!” he shouted at rey, who just barely ducked the blast that was shot towards her.

“if it’s him then shouldn’t someone go fend him off?” finn stared at poe and rey, as if waiting for one of them to volunteer.

poe shrugged, “i don’t think she’s worth it. barely talked.” finn didn’t even bother arguing when rey began to agree.

you could hear the sounds of a fight through the door. you couldn’t see through the glass window, but you could just imagine it.

the door opened and you half expected to see one of the two guys who had been interrogating you. but instead there he was.

wearing his usual all black, kylo cut down the room and immediately opened his arms, pulling you into them. “y/n..oh y/n.” there was a sigh of relief as you wrapped your arms around him.

you were crying.

this entire time you had forced yourself not to cry, not to show emotion. perhaps you had saved it for this moment. “kylo.” his name rolled off your tongue, “im sorry.”

kylo shook his head, “don’t. it’s all my fault. i should’ve just gone out there with you.” he scolded himself, shaking his head as he thought back to what he could’ve done.

“no. don’t. you always do that, you take responsibility for a decision i made.” you hugged him even tighter, “don’t. okay. just don’t.”

kylo didn’t even protest, he just held you all the more tighter in his arms.

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alpaca-clouds · 10 months

Text

About Anarchism and Security

Alright, I promised @cofiandme to answer this, once I had time, so let me answer it now.

Quick quote of the question under yesterday's anarchism blog:

@cofiandme: Without prejudice and a genuine inquiry: If anarchism is "having no ruler" and, in theory, still have rules, who enforces these rules? Me: Society does. Basically the idea is that people are responsible for themselves and their community. (Additionally there is also the basic idea that humans are actually not inherently violent or anything, but are forced into violence through things like abuse and poverty.) @cofiandme: society? How so? Does that equate to morals and vague faculties? I too agree that men are not inherently evil, but I am pretty sure that they're self-centeredness (like what you've said, "people are responsible for themselves") will bring out self-interest, which is not necessarily evil but will inevitably result to some disputes, knowing resource limitness, scarcity, and all — how do anarchist society settle this? Within themselves too?

So, it has to be said at this point that we do not have any documentation of any large scale society, that lived by anarchist rules. While it stands to reason that those indigenous cultures that were basically living under a sort of anarchism when there was settler contact, those were often already quite descimated by the time it was documented. And modern anarchist communes rarely reach a size of more than a few hundred.

What I am trying to say: For the most part, we only have theory right now. But it should obviously noted, too, that we are only animals and surprisingly animals do manage to exist for the most part without murdering and raping members of their own species.

At the very, very basic level, anarchism assumes that people's nature is neutral, if not outright good. Because we have seen time and time again that whenever societal forces we have break down, people will help one another, rather than fight each other. Hence the assumption that people are neutral/good, but current systems are bad.

Before all else, we do need to break down the hierarchies of capitalism, by making sure that neither absurd riches, nor poverty should exist.

But also working at the abolishment of other hierarchical systems like the patriarchy and white supremacy. As well as create access to help networks for everyone. That includes especially healthcare - including mental healthcare.

Right now, most crimes are linked to poverty. Poverty forces people to commit crimes, and once people get into trouble with the law once (let's say for stealing food or selling drugs), there is a chance that this actually pushes them further into crime and violence. This is in fact more true, the harsher the anti-crime system of a country is. Hence: If you abolish poverty, you will already limit crime.

Then we have the other two big factors of crime: Hate-crimes and crimes commited out of mental health struggles. (Of course all the factors can be linked.) Working against discriminating structures would drastically limit the hate crimes. Mental health support the other.

So, why am I telling all that? Well, because it is basically the anarchist belief, that system changes would lower violent crime massively.

Now, let's get to the part with the rules.

A very, very basic assumption: Most people do not avoid violence against other humans because of laws, but because violence does actually feel bad.

But yes, society does need rules. So, instead of rules being unbending and only affected by a selected few, everyone gets to have a say about the rules, that would directly affect them. In old times and small communes, this usually happened/happens via a sort of townhall meeting, where everyone gets a chance to speak and then people cast their vote. If we had this as a system for a wider society, these processes would probably be digitalized. (There are a couple of other models/additions for this, that are possible for this, but the direct approach is technically the most anarchist.)

As for the enforcement: In general the anarchist idea is that punishment is not the way to go, but rehabilitation. And of course cops do bring so many issues with themselves... So basically the enforcement idea is, that everyone should be allowed to intervene, when violence happens. And that in general again the society as a whole should get a say in what happens with people - though generally never seeking punishment and rather a solution that aims for rehabilitation or, if that is not an option (like, you will probably not rehabilitate the nazi mass murderer), for security detainment.

And, see. The thing about "self-centeredness" is, that we as a society under late stage capitalism have one big issue: Our society is an individualist one. But this is actually counter to human nature. Humans are not individualist animals. We are social animals. A social rule that serves the many is in fact the one that best serves all the single beings within it.

/end long ramble

#anarchism #anarcho communism #theory #anarchist theory #hopepunk #punk #anti capitalism #justice

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contentloadingandstuff · 11 months

Text

NSFW Headcanons - Cloud Retainer

CW: Outdoor stuff, toys. Everything refers to Cloud Retainer's human form, of course.

Stop! Cut time.

Cloud Retainer never had anyone she loved in her lengthy life. Truth be told, before the war finding love (and dick) was not her topmost priority, but the desire was there. After the war… not so much anymore.

Perhaps it was the depression settling in, but her mind drifted away from this.

But she met you after all those years of loneliness. She found you alluring, and very enticing. Cloud Retainer didn't have anything against having sex, even if she wasn't that interested in it.

Even despite her lack of enthusiasm at first, the Adeptus came to quite like it. As she got more and more comfortable with you, her fondness only grew, until she fully opened herself up to you.

Your woman sees no point in dwelling on why she likes what she likes, if it's not really obvious. She likes to let things happen on their own.

Cloud Retainer likes it vanilla most of the time, at least when it comes to the sex - where you do it, however, is a completely different story.

She enjoys bending over for you while looking out from the top of mt. Aocang, especially if the sun just rises or dawns. She'll sigh in satisfaction, not only because the view is amazing… She's of the opinion that it's passion that makes sex great, and that there's no reason to hold off when both of you find yourselves in the mood, wherever it may be. A quiet corner is enough for a rough, fairly loud quickie. Mt. Aocang is hers, after all.

But most often it will be her Abode where most of the fucking will take place. It's quiet, picturesque, private and completely soundproof. She can also model it to fit her liking - from a romantic, slow dicking high in the clouds to a rough, merciless fucking on the beach - you'll have all sorts of adventures within her realm.

She will get very snappy if someone will dare to enter her Abode with one of their trivial worries. On her mind is the big cock she's handling, not some moral inquiries of the mortals.

She likes all sorts of paces for all sorts of occasions. Cloud Retainer prefers pussy over ass and throat, and it comes down to just her personal preference. Her gag reflex is not that good, but she doesn't see a reason to change that. She still enjoys some anal fairly regularly, though.

Despite not receiving any stimulation from it herself, Cloud Retainer enjoys giving you titfucks with her wonderful, medium sized breasts.

The glasses stay on. How is she still looking so elegant with cum dripping out of her pussy and your shaft inside her mouth? The ways of the Adepti, that's why.

Just don't pull the hair, it takes her an hour to get it in order every day, and she'd rather be riding you than sitting in front of a mirror.

A switch with all her soul. Being able to freely switch between being dominant and submissive makes it so she can enjoy a very broad range of pleasures.

She is the "Adeptus Mechanicus", so of course she's going to make machines to enhance your play. Most of them will be her own renditions of mortal sex toys - very small vibrating bullets with nearly endless battery, and the ability to be pulled out of whatever hole they go into with your telekinesis skills. Or fleshlights designed meticulously to resemble her slit, not only with automatic lubrication, but also with the warmth, feel and smell.

Cloud Retainer loves to take pictures of what you're doing for later viewing, or perhaps just to see herself serving you with her body, or enjoying yours. She likes big standing mirrors for the same reason.

Sometimes when the other Adepti, or Morax, ask her about her day, or why she has bruises and hickeys all over herself, she'll talk about what you two were up to as if it was something completely normal to bring up in conversation. For that reason, it's good to keep an eye on her during social meetings.

Thanks for reading!

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #smut #cloud retainer #cloud retainer x reader #cloud retainer x y/n #cloud retainer x male reader #cloud retainer x you #cloud retainer smut

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theresattrpgforthat · 7 months

Note

Hello! Do you have any suggestions for ttrpg that are like Control (video game)? I enjoy number crunching, and playbooks are a plus :D

THEME: Games inspired by CONTROL

Hello! I’m going to first reference to you one of the first posts I ever made, about Paranormal Agents. If you like playbooks, you’ll probably want to take a look at Against the Dark Conspiracy, but don’t sleep on External Containment Bureau! Not much of what’s in that post is big on math, but I don’t want to leave out any possible options. Now, on to some more recommendations.

In Case of An Emergency, by boyproblems.

You work at foundation., a global corporation known for its cutting edge inventions and morally dubious treatment of its labour force. It stays at the top of its field by exploiting the paranormal and the metaphysical. Due to an "incident", you are now trapped inside. The glitch causes you and a group of your co-workers to be tasked by a group known as THE SHAREHOLDERS to fix what has broken, and solve THE EMERGENCY.

The Head Office is an ever-shifting office complex that threatens to trap your intrepid group within its labyrinthine walls. Fable and superstition come alive and threaten your very life. Gain new abilities (ABSTRACTIONS) through exposure to the powers that lie beyond, investigate the truth behind foundation., traverse a place where new science is discovered daily, and cut through bureaucratic and literal binding red tape to escape and survive.

This is a one-shot game, but that doesn’t mean that your character can’t gain new powers throughout the course of play. In Case of Emergency is directly inspired by CONTROL, so theme-wise we’re definitely in the right territory. It doesn’t look like it has playbooks though, which is a bummer - in almost every other aspect I think it’s what you’re looking for!

Agents of the O.D.D., by Jason Tocci.

Agents of the O.D.D. is a tabletop roleplaying game of conscripted cryptids, shaky psychics, burned spies, and other investigators of the paranormal. Based on the rules from Into the Odd and Electric Bastionland, and inspired by series like Hellboy, Planetary, and The Laundry Files.

Agents of the O.D.D. doesn’t necessarily have playbooks, but it does have player archetypes. During character creation, you roll a d100 and take the result from a hefty list of archetypes. These will give you one or more special moves, companions, and/or pieces of equipment. And equipment is a really big thing in this game - there’a at least 6 pages in this 24-page game dedicated to equipment alone. This might be because Agents of the O.D.D. is built off of Into the Odd and Electric Bastionland, which are both minimalist and focus on dungeon-delving.

Now that I think of it, exploring a place that is abnormal and haunted is likely very similar to engaging in a dungeon-crawl, so expect a game like this to point you to your inventory when it comes to solving problems - like talking to extraterrestrials, or fighting against hostile cryptids. You’re also going to be tracking your gear, so if you like inventory-keeping this game is for you.

Making Change, by Beth and Angel Make Games.

Researchers at The Observatory study all sorts of objects that seem ordinary but are gifted with a special power. One of these objects is a coin. However, when the senior researcher went to start testing it, it… convinced them to "liberate" it. Surveillance shows the researcher was speaking to something or someone —presumably, the coin— and the researcher quickly went from arguing to utterly submitting to the coin.

This is an adventure made for the CoinSides Jam of 2023, which had the stipulation that the adventure have a coin as a central theme. This adventure invokes the coin with some kind of intelligence, as it has the ability to affect the desires and emotions of people around it. Because the adventure is system-agnostic, it’s meant to work with a number of different systems, but I would recommend using games that are good for detective stories or modern horror, or even something like External Containment Bureau.

You Can Check Out Anytime You Like, But You Can Never Leave, by Marn S.

You Can Check Out Any Time You Like, But You Can Never Leave is a game for 3+ people, and a surreal horror-flavored hack of Mobile Frame Zero: Firebrands by Meguey & Vincent Baker. It is also a loving homage to The Shining, NanQuest, and the songs of the 70s and 80.

Play as a Guest, Staff member, or living Anomaly at the Hotel California, the first and only hotel to exist outside of time and space! Create messy entanglements — ally with monsters, or backstab your friends! Inject the surreal and horrific into everyday life! Solve mysteries! Have strange dreams! Chase someone with a knife! Burn it all to the ground!

The setting for this game takes place in a hotel rather than The Oldest House (or something like it) but what makes it interesting is that it’s a hack of Firebrands. This means that rather than following an adventure seed like a traditional RPG, you’ll be setting up and playing through various scenes in the form of mini-games. The creator has also published Such A Lovely Place, a supplement with five extra mini-games to incorporate into your eerie stay at Hotel California. There might be math here but if there is it’s probably only in a mini-game or two.

FIST, by CLAYMORE.

FIST: Ultra Edition is a tabletop roleplaying game about paranormal mercenaries doing the tough jobs no one else can. In the game, you belong to a legendary rogue mercenary unit called FIST. You are a soldier of fortune who doesn’t fit into modern society. You are a disposable gun for hire, caught up in the death and destruction of pointless proxy wars and oppressive establishments. You may also be someone who can turn into a ghost or control bees with your mind.

FIST focuses on action and combat, but specifically against the paranormal. You aren’t regular soldiers, not by a long-shot. The time period is during the Cold War: there are tensions that will affect your missions outside of simply what you’re hunting. The combat is meant to be brutal, the missions highly tactical, and the character builds are modular (so there might be some number crunching). No playbooks here, I’m afraid, but if you want the gritty action that keeps you on your toes in CONTROL, you might want to check out FIST, especially since it’s on Kickstarter right now! (Ending soon!)

THE COMPANY, by Mega_Corp.

The Company is a survival horror game centered around corporate emergency response teams and the aftermath of the situations they are assigned to deal with. Players take on the roles of Employees assigned to response teams that quickly find themselves in over their heads with one player facilitating play as the Game Manager.

Now this looks like a game with playbooks. At the beginning, your character chooses one of five Careers, each of which come with special Perks, pre-selected skills, a personal item random table, and some jobs and goals to focus your character. The game itself ins’t terribly long, but there’s enough lore to establish how the game borrows from CONTROL without copying it completely, and the designers have crated an Employee Handbook for players as well as a Management Manual for GM’s. You get both when you pick up this game on Itch. There’s definitely a lot of pieces to keep track in this one - I don’t know if that translates to number crunching but it might get you close!

#tabletop games #indie ttrpgs #dnd #game recommendations #asks #CONTROL #paranormal games

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actiwitch · 5 months

Text

The Gods' myths sometimes include horrific or immoral aspects. That doesn't mean we should behave as if those myths dont exist!

(A Pagan perspective)

(tw: sa, misogyny)

When we are faced with myths that no longer fit in modern moral views (such as so much SA in Greek mythology alone there's a whole Wikipedia page on it) we should not shy away! Even if we don't like or approve of it, it's a part of the Gods' history and mythos.

All mythology is written by humans, and as such is unavoidably a product of its time. The way that anyone (including modern pagans) interprets the Gods as entities, or any interaction with them, is limited within our own culture, time period, and personal beliefs. By examining both the beliefs of the present and the past, we can decide for ourselves how we see the Gods while considering the context their myths were written in.

Even within one time period or similar group of people, such as modern pagans today, interpretations of the Gods can vary widely.

Zues is a cheating rapist. He is also a powerful god of the skies, lightning, and order.

Lucifer is literally the devil. An evil liar full of sins. And yet he is enlightening, independent, and honest.

Freyja is constantly associated (some say reduced) to sex. She uses her body for her gain, and is quite canonically called a slut. At the same time, she's the goddess of women! Of female power, both in mental skill and physical strength. She leads the Valkyries.

Loki is dark and deceptive, bringer of Ragnarok-- and he's a deity of change and freedom.

And neither is wrong. In mythology, both are true.

The Gods, all their aspects, and all the texts we have of them are complicated, complex, multifaceted, and interpretive- of course, there will be various understandings within pagan practices. No one view is superior to the other. Our understandings all exist on a scale, or rather some sort of mashup, of how important and what importance we attribute to various myths and aspects of deities.

When I worshipped Hera, I did so in two 'versions'. 1. Hera as resistance against men and abuse. I found solace and connection with her in powerful womanhood and female rage. I prayed to her before attending a pro-choice rally. And 2. Hera as a symbol of deep love, power, and marriage, and commitment. I lit her candle when my partner was over or when I needed a confidence boost.

These aspects never felt conflicting to me. Separate, maybe (I certainly wasn't thinking of any cheating or abuse in mythology as overlapping with the love and commitment)- but just part of one THING. Of Hera and everything surrounding her.

To many other deities of various 'immoral' aspects, these conflicting elements aren't just both present but often integral to their presence and worship.

Lucifer is often worshipped in rebellion. In healing from oppressive Christianity and finding light and understanding in that darkness.

Freyja is sexual! One of her many aspects. (which by the way, should not be seen as immoral. looking at yall, bs tumblr feminists) There is pleasure, joy, and power to be found in reclaiming that part of women we are told is shameful.

Loki is so much at once. He is outcast and destructive, and within that he spurs necessary change and chaos. So many pagans look to her as a symbol of queerness in the broadest sense and in facing the necessary chaos of growth.

TLDR: Don't just ignore aspects of mythology that feel uncomfortable (obviously unless something like trauma is involved). There is a lot to learn both from understanding the time and context their myths were written in as well as self-reflection on how certain myths or aspects of deities fit (or don't fit) within your practice.

#pagan #deites #paganism #deities #deitywork #norse paganism #deity work #paganblr #polytheist #hellenic polytheism #heathenry #the old gods #pagan witch #mythology #witch

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daisybellejpeg · 27 days

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Hey, Daisy!

So, could you describe Shaw's personality in detail? For example, traits he shares in common with Bright but things that the two don't have in common?

My thing about this is that I don’t believe it to be necessary to compare Elias to bright aside from what makes bright a creepy self insert fetish character and what I’ve done to make Elias not that. I’ve made the difference between the two in that regard in the past and my pinned post is pretty much advice on how to avoid what was wrong with bright.

Elias is his own guy and because I’m fueled by the spite of detractors who think rewriting my groomer’s self insert is dumb I’m digging in my heels and giving myself the ego boost that Elias can make it on his own as a character onsite. Fuck da h8rz.

That being said, personality wise? Elias is a fucking prick to any outsider. A grandiose, big ego nepo baby who got where he is on the back of daddy’s hard work and a shitter who neglects his bodies via having an awful diet and his nicotine addiction and weed dependency, all while still flaunting designer because he’s a name brand man and what better way to say “I’m more successful than you” than wearing Off-White and Supreme on the clock in different bodies and then letting surviving hosts keep the clothes if they so wish? He plays the perfect part of a pompous prick with poor impulse control and nefarious intent. Does he mind that those outside of Site-19 see him like this? Hell no. Makes the tall tales about how awful and inconsiderate he is all the more exaggerated and he lives off the free supply that is living rent free in peoples heads.

That being said, while he does very much neglect his bodies via self neglect and self destructive behaviors? He was never a nepo baby. Were Ansel and Soraya successful researchers? Of course. One was the previous director of research for Site-19 and the other was a prominent cryptologist despite having the odds stacked against her due to the discrimination of the time. Elias himself however worked hard to get so high in the pecking order, especially since Ansel in particular pretty much forced him to. Part of his self neglect stems from not just free kid syndrome but also because he’s always had to neglect himself to some extent to reach the goals his father had set for him.

He also takes care of his people, something he aspired to do upon gaining any power in foundation circles since he’d seen how much his mom in particular suffered due to those in power at the time looking the other way to the blatant racism she faced during her career within the foundation. Everyone in Site-19 is well paid, well insured, protected against any sort of discrimination, and are given generous benefits because it’s what his mother would’ve wanted. Despite being low empathy on the aspd spectrum, his mother did a good job in giving him a basic moral code and the fervor to uphold it. He is a momma’s boy after all.

To friends, while still being a self serving bastard with a macabre sense of humor, he’s very casual and hospitable, taking pride in being a good host to those within his personal circle despite at the same time playing into his vices in the form of offering up weed, caffeine, liquor, and junk food. He is very much a bad influence, but hey, at least he’s a chill bad influence. He also likes to give high value gifts if only to further flaunt his expensive tastes. Sure he can be inconsiderate due to his low empathy at times, but much like with his reputation outside of his circles, he revels in the supply he gets from being considered a solid and significantly useful acquaintance to have.

Basically, he’s a dick with standards. Will playfully bully interns while using their preferred pronouns. He is also a master prankster with a love for cats.

#scp foundation #scp #elias shaw #scp doctors #dr elias shaw #daisy.txt #dr shaw #scp fandom

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tinietaehyun · 11 months

Text

The Case of the Pitiful Detective [8]

[Detective!Taehyun x Detective!Reader] [Ft. Beomgyu]

Pairing(s): Detective!Taehyun x Detective!Reader [ x Beomgyu]

Genre(s): Mystery, thriller, lovers to enemies, friends to lovers, romance, angst, fluff

Contains: Mention of weaponry, threats & violence, implications and mentions of death/injury, gaslighting, manipulation, mentions of blood. Very dialogue heavy chapter!

Link: The Case Series Masterlist

Summary: Everything around you was spinning; your eyes couldn’t leave his face filled with mixed emotions. His voice deepens as he steps forward, “I let you get this far, you’re only here because I let you get here. I could see through your facade, it was endearing to say the least.“

You remain quietly trembling; you weren’t expecting this turn of events. No, no you couldn’t believe his malicious words. You glare; your hands forming fists.

A laugh escapes his coy lips, “It was an error to let you get this far. Allow me to fix that.”

—————————•••••••••••••————————

The young officer’s hands firmly grip his firearm sheathed within his holster. His eyes concentrate on the frightening sight before him. He was peering around the Detective Agency building in an inconspicuous corner, following behind you and Taehyun.

Initially from when he was trailing the both of you, it really did seem as if Taehyun was indeed drunk. Though he knew the moment he saw you stumble back from afar it was but a mere ruse, another facade. He should have knew and he knew you were cautious too. He was grateful that you let him know and didn’t foolishly go by yourself.

Beomgyu tensely watches as you two appear to have a conversation. He absolutely despised the way his hands were on you. Beomgyu’s gaze darkens. He definitely had some sort of weapon, most likely a gun pressed up to you. Or he was holding you in a vice grip. Either way, he didn’t like it.

Deep down, he was truly scared if anything were to happen to you. Was he here to finish you off? He couldn’t bear to lose another person dear to him. Someone with so much life to live, someone with such promise and determination. You had such a resilient mindset and were even willing to risk your life for the sake of the case so brazenly. It reminded him exactly of his dear friend Yeonjun.

He desperately didn’t want what happened to Yeonjun to happen to you now. No…he couldn’t let that happen.

His feet twist and scrape against the concrete pavement as he continues watching wishing he could hear what you two were talking about. Beomgyu wanted to simply run over there and knock his ass out and beat him to an utter bloody pulp.

Though, he had to keep his emotional resolve at check. You told him to trust you after all, and he wanted to respect your wishes. However, at any single sight of you on the verge of getting injured, he would step in no matter what. In no way he could let you die at the hands of that monster.

Beomgyu knew, you wouldn’t have gone without a plan especially with how determined you had gone. Your voice on the phone seemed brave with only a slight quiver.

His heart palpitates as adrenaline from the pressure and fear rushes through him. His main fear is whether Taehyun would hurt you.

Beomgyu had so much to say to you. After all this was over, he wanted to help you find another job, your promise and potential as a truthful detective was reassuring for him. He wanted to continue working with you.

Most importantly, he wanted to express his feelings towards you. Though honestly he found your reluctance at first frustrating, through getting to know you- the way you operate, your morals and values. Your personality and way of doing things and your thinking process. How incredibly resilient you are despite any challenge that’s thrown to you and how emotionally strong you are. Yeonjun’s intuition was indeed right about you.

At first all he wanted was to take down Taehyun with you. Though, of course that goal hasn’t changed. He did want to take down Taehyun with you. He wanted to be with you.

Beomgyu loved you. He grew to cherish your witty and sarcastic remarks. Your widened and curious eyes, your beautiful laughter and the sound of your voice that he loved ever so much. Though he didn’t want to burden you with his confession in the middle of an investigation. He didn’t want to confess at a time where you felt incredibly vulnerable and downtrodden. He believed there was a right time and place for everything no matter how much his heart screamed for him to do it.

Did you feel the same way he did? Did you see him like that? Thoughts such as these plagued his mind in the latest of nights. What would it be like to hold you in his arms? Spend days lounging at home, telling each other about gossip, new cases, going out and spending time with each other. These were all things he had thought about often.

Would you give your heart to him? Would you look at him with your pretty eyes whilst he moved the stray strands of hair out of your face?

Beomgyu shakes his head viscously ripping his head out of his own thoughts. Now was definitely not the time. He had to focus solely on making sure that you were safe. He had to put full trust in you- that you could handle it. He did. He trusted you.

Beomgyu flinches feeling a raindrop splatter against his cheek. He peers up at the sky; it was going to rain? Perhaps thunder, with how murky and grey the clouds above seem. A nauseating and dark feeling sinks into the pit of his stomach. The stench of rain permeates the air. He didn’t like this ominous feeling.

Something was deeply wrong. He hoped he wouldn’t leave today with any regrets.

——||||——

“Are you going to kill me?” You ask trying your best to keep your voice steady. Your heart was on the verge of bursting through your ribcage any second. Your body pathetically trembles; you hated feeling so scared and vulnerable. You didn’t want him to see you like this but no matter what you couldn’t help it.

The fact that there was a gun pressed into your back didn’t help either; actually it made it much worse.

Taehyun’s hair falls across his eyes as he chuckles making you flinch. “Kill you?” His eyes darkly peer at you through the strands of hair, “Why? Are you scared?”

You murmur, “There’s no security cameras installed in this part of parking lot. It’s a blind spot.”

Taehyun’s eyes glimmer making you feel uneasy and he breathlessly laughs, “My, you’re rather observant. You’re smarter than you let on you know.”

You bitterly scoff, “Wow, just wow.”

He cooes, “Oh, my apologies love. I don’t mean to sound so condescending. You’re far more intelligent than I thought you were; I only thought like that due to your limited experience in this field.” You can’t help but glare as anger bubbles within you, “You’re wrong. You may think you’re far superior but that’s not the case. You are simply arrogant. That’ll be your bane.”

Taehyun sighs peering away, “Indeed, I have to agree with you there. I may have underestimated how frustratingly persistent you are. I thought that fear could drive you away.”

You snark, “Oh so you thought that lowly of me?”

“Lowly…no, no. You are always getting your emotions involved, I thought I could manipulate you that way. Though it seems you also know how to put on quite the facade yourself, hm?” He murmurs slyly peering at you. You grit your teeth, “You disgust me.”

“It’s only natural you’d feel that way. Most exes say such things to each other,” he casually hums.

You harshly snap, “I think our situation goes beyond a mere misunderstanding, Taehyun.” He murmurs, “Well, you were the one to start it, no? Or should I say it was that little partner of yours?”

Your eyes darken, “He told me the truth. I regret nothing.” Taehyun cooes, “Oh what truth, sweetheart? No one will believe you. I’ll make sure no one will believe you. No matter how much evidence you think you may have piled up against me, it won’t work. I can pull as many strings as I want.” The gun presses further into your back as his other hand tightens its grip on you. Groaning you respond, “I won’t give up, Taehyun. None of this threatening will get me to give up.”

Taehyun manically laughs, “You’re in such a position such as this and yet you’re still not willing to give everything up.” You sneer, “Holding a gun to me won’t change anything! You wouldn’t kill me. You wouldn’t be here talking to me right now, if you were.”

Taehyun’s brow raises and darkly smiles, “Oh my, you’re rather confident aren’t you?”

You glare writhing in his grip, “You’d have done it already.”

He roughly pulls you closer as he leans his face closer to yours with a look so malevolent it makes your knees buckle. His eyes looked psychotic; unhinged even.

Taehyun lowly murmurs, “Oh you’re right. I would have. I suppose it’s an error on my part. I found myself being disgustingly fond of you. This game we were playing both dancing hand in hand wearing masks thriving in our facades! You driving forward with your naive notion of ‘justice.’” His voice was manic and it truly scared you how far gone he sounded.

“It was addicting,” he murmurs. “Thinking that you were succeeding. Having someone so obsessed with taking you down. To think I could rip it all away from you.”

You laugh almost flabbergasted at his twisted mindset. What a fucking power trip? How the fuck did you fall in love with this man?

“It just sounds like you have severe issues-“ you snap but stop as soon as he grasps your wrist in an agonising manner.

“Don’t forget what position you’re in, love.”

“Don’t call me that,” you snarl in pain. His eyes glitter sadistically, “I hold all the power right now. Your life is in my hands.”

You shakily peer at him; your heart hurts incredibly seeing him like this. You knew internally he was a wreck. The pistol and bullet matching would be over for him. It would make him a confirmed suspect. He’d only be roped into further investigation with which would open the gates to all his Mafia connections and crimes. You knew this man was on the verge of a mental breakdown. This whole move right now was entirely careless of him.

You murmur as your eyes gloss over, “Did you ever love me the way I loved you, Taehyun?”

“The moment you joined, I saw the way your endearing eyes sparkled at me.” Your heart pangs; you’d been manipulated since day one. You were simply Yeonjun’s replacement.

“Answer the question, Taehyun.” You grit out. Taehyun goes silent for a moment before laughing into your ear. “Do you wish I did?”

Your entire body flinches at his cruel answer. “You don’t mean that. Why haven’t you fucking killed me?“

Taehyun snarls, “I don’t fucking know okay! You-you simply have to keep your fucking mouth shut. Your fucking life is in my hands and you’re asking foolish questions!”

Your sneer, “Oh…? The detective doesn’t have a conclusion for once?” His eyes gaze down at you and he sneers back, “That mouth of yours is really quite troublesome.“

“Is the detective getting riled up?” You murmur.

Taehyun chuckles, “Perhaps. You know, this is oddly amusing. Watching you talk, deflecting all your fear. Inside I know you’re brimming with fear, you’re heartbroken that you were no more than a chess piece in my eyes.”

You shake your head, “Don’t.” He murmurs, “The truth stings brutally doesn’t it? You think you got this far because of your own merit don’t you?”

You snap eyes-widened, “What?”

“I let you get this far, you’re only here because I let you get here. I could see through your facade, it was endearing to say the least.” He leans in once more his breath fanning your face, “That map you found, I purposely left it there. I purposely let you find it, let you clear my desk. I intentionally invited you over to my home. I intentionally allowed the both of you, to feel the success of you winning, thinking that you were ahead. I always knew no matter what foolish evidence you had, it wouldn’t matter.”

Your shoulders slouch and your lips tremble. You had nothing to say. He was going easy on you? Taehyun starts laughing at your lack of response, “Now…now…that’s the face I wanted to see so desperately.” You flinch viciously as a raindrop splatters onto your nose. A rumble of thunder echoes out startling you.

Raindrops begin falling down at an increasing speed and intensity. You and Taehyun were beginning to get drenched. Taehyun closes his eyes, “You know, I love the rain. Do you know why?” You don’t respond. Ignoring you, he continues, “It washes away the dirt…the pests, the unwanted. It cleans the land. Refreshes the Earth.”

He hums amused snapping his eyes open to meet yours, “It’s also great to wash away vital evidence.” You shakily gasp.

“I’ve realised my mercy towards you has gotten me dangerously close to my own downfall and as thrilling as that is. I’m not one to bask behind the bars. I have a life to live out, no? You understand right? No hard feelings, hm?”

Your eyes widen. He had made his decision. He was going to kill you tonight.

“No, no wait…” you stammer writhing in his grasp.

Taehyun smirks seeing genuine fear cross your features. Rain runs down both of your faces terribly masking your expressions. He hums, “No earpiece, but surely you haven’t come here alone, hm? I’ve learnt my lesson not to underestimate you.” You murmur, “Huh?”

“Where is he?” Taehyun sneers, “Officer Beomgyu…” You realise it’s pointless lying to him and mumble, “If you’ve known all this time, why haven’t you stopped him?”

“Of course he won’t come out himself. Only if something happens to you, he’ll come out won’t he?” The blood rushes out of your face. He knew your thinking process. God no…

Taehyun hums, “He’ll come out when it’s too late, that, I know for sure. When your blood paints the puddles below us in the most tragic shade of red.”

You scramble through your thoughts quickly. “Did you kill Yeonjun for this exact reason? Am I in his place? That he was investigating you for your v-various crimes connected to the Mafia-taking out anyone as you please-“

Taehyun bitterly laughs, “Oh you’re about to die and you’re still obsessed? How dedicated you are. To answer you question, yes.”

You roar, “He was your fucking childhood best friend!”

Taehyun snarls, “And so fucking what? If that makes me sound selfish, what of it? I will do anything, I will get rid of anyone to maintain my position. Think of it what you will. I don’t fucking care.”

You stammer, “You’re sick and twisted Kang Taehyun.

You let out a scream as you’re suddenly shoved back and he releases his grip on you. You fall back pathetically into the soaking wet concrete splashing water around you. You peer up glaring as he holds the gun aimed at your forehead as he looms over you. You could barely look up at him due to the heavy rain.

You yell out, “You’re going to pay. You’ll pay for this, Taehyun.” He chuckles, “Oh…I’m sure I will. Whatever will make you die happy. I’d say I’m sorry but I’m really not.”

You grit your teeth, “Killing your father, killing your best friend. The countless others whose lives you taken…” For playing with your heart like nothing but a toy.

“My father deserved it. You wouldn’t fucking know,” he roars at you loading his gun.

You peer down at the concrete as your lips twitch, you had all you needed to know. You shiver because of coldness of the rain. You hoped your clothes were thick enough.

“The police, Beomgyu will know you’ve k-killed me. Your fingerprints are on that gun.” You needed to stall. Taehyun laughs, “Even now you’re using your detective’s mind! No need to worry, I’ll switch out the weapon. Alongside your partner will join you tonight.”

You sneer laughing bitterly to yourself, “Planning to frame this as a suicide aren’t you?” He murmurs, “You’re so smart, love.”

Your lips twitch again, you had everything now. Absolutely everything you needed to know. You didn’t know what got over you but your body shakes visibly.

Taehyun watches aiming with his finger curling around the trigger; were you crying?

No, no.

You were laughing.

You were laughing to yourself. His eyes darken, “What the fuck?”

Wet footsteps resound out and you hear a voice bellow, “Kang Taehyun! Hands up! Drop the weapon or I’ll be forced to shoot. Surrender your weapon!” You’re peer over your shoulder seeing Beomgyu soaked in the rain aiming his weapon at Taehyun.

Taehyun laughs making no move to move the gun away from your direction. In fact he looked rather unfazed. “Finally came out of hiding, you rat?” He sneers.

Beomgyu yells, “Put the fucking weapon down. Your game’s over. You’ve been caught.”

You don’t know if it’s the adrenaline or the overwhelming feeling of success within you right now but you burst out laughing once more taking both men completely off guard.

You had outwit the Kang Taehyun.

You scream, “Go on. Shoot him, shoot me, Taehyun!” You were blatantly happy. You had gotten all the information you wanted. A twisted euphoria fills you.

Beomgyu’s hand trembles, “Y/n? W-What? What the fuck?” You must sound insane to Beomgyu.

Taehyun’s eyes flood with panic and you gather all the strength in you to stand up. You shakily stand up with a fierce gaze, “I said. I said do it.”

“No…no something’s wrong. What the fuck did you do?” Taehyun angrily yells.

Beomgyu peers at you and breathlessly chuckles. Realisation hits him; you had a plan. Trust you. He had to trust you.

All your questions, all your phrases. You made sure to direct the conversation the way you wanted. You wanted to coerce the best, most incriminating information out of him. Information no defence lawyer could wriggle his way out of. Information that would have the jury up in arms!

You guided the conversation subtly. All so that it could be beautifully recorded. The wires under your shirt now clung to your skin and felt icy.

His own words were going to be his downfall. His so called assistant detective was going to be his very fall from grace.

Taehyun’s eyes frantically look back and forth between you and Beomgyu. A satisfying look appears on his face. He’s trying to put together all the pieces, trying to make some sort of deduction.

His eyes light up, “A listening device. You have something on you-“ he snarls. It truly was over for Kang Taehyun if you submitted the recording. There’s no taking his words back. Taehyun’s arm shakes ; he had never in his life felt at such a loss as this.

For the first time…he was surely going to lose. No…no he couldn’t allow it. There’s no way!

Without hesitation Taehyun’s finger pulls the trigger and an extraordinarily loud bang reverberates. “Fuck-!” He hisses.

Excruciating pain permeates your shoulder.

“Y/N! NO!” Beomgyu’s strained voice registers in your ears. Taehyun snaps, “Fuck, I-“

Taehyun snarls pointing his gun at you once more and immediately changing his aim towards Beomgyu as he realises Beomgyu was ready to shoot him.

Another two gunshots suddenly resound out. You hear Beomgyu snarl, “S-Shit! -Fuck!” Taehyun stumbles back with a scary expression; one of insanity and fear. Genuine, panic-stricken fear.

Your vision becomes white as pain envelopes your body in a way that you have never experienced before.

The last thing you feel is your body slamming into the puddle and concrete. A wetness with which your own blood mixes with the rainwater. Yet a smile graces your pale lips. Your life slowly drains out of you.

Images of Beomgyu appear in your mind. Would you have to leave that sweet man behind? He wanted to protect you with all his might. Yet here you were, bleeding out in the rain.

Yeonjun…Yeonjun must have been the same. Pain hits you in waves as your consciousness finally slips through your grasp.

No one else will suffer under his strings of power. You’ve cut those strings for sure and have undone his entire life’s work.

You were down, but you’d drag Kang Taehyun to hell with you.

You were just sorry, you wish you could apologise to Beomgyu. You knew he would be heartbroken. You wish you could have said the three words you wanted to tell him.

———————

[PART 9 - FINALE : COMING SOON ]

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