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“Power Struggle”

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Reader

Rating: M

Category: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 7.2k

Summary: For months, you and SSA Aaron Hotchner have been toeing the boundary between romance and your careers. When the unsub that's been killing women in Michigan by way of replicating Zeus' punishments from Greek mythology takes you as his next victim, it's up to Hotch and the rest of the BAU team to find you before it's too late. Hurt/comfort and angst with happy ending.

Tags: graphic depictions of violence, reader kidnapped by unsub, blood, implied SA, nudity, electrocution, scarring, hospitals

“You’re telling me someone is out here killing people to recreate, what? Greek legends?” Sheriff McCullen’s brow pinches as he shakes his head.

“Legends are stories often loosely based on a real person or event to teach us a lesson. Mythology is based on supernatural or sacred lore and explains why things came to be. It’s a common mistake.” Reid speaks quickly and methodically, as if reciting from a textbook. “It’s straight out of the mythos,” he explains, his voice tinged with something akin to excitement as he approaches the whiteboard where photos of the victims had been pinned up for review. Using a ballpoint pen as a pointer, he taps the first image of the first victim. “Regina Manford, she was found tied to a boulder in Craig Lake State Park with her liver removed. Animal predation showed birds had pecked at her while she was still alive. In Greek mythology, Zeus did this to Prometheus to exact revenge on him after he stole fire to give to man.”

Reid moves on to the next victim, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he did so. “Sarah Walters was found bound to an old water wheel that had been set on fire. Greek Mythology suggests this is a copy of Zeus’ punishment for Ixion.”

“And what did he do to deserve that?” asks the sheriff.

Reid’s lips form a tight line. “He was invited into Zeus’ home on Olympus. After attempting to seduce his wife, Hera, Zeus punished him by binding him to a wheel of fire cursed to spin forever toward the underworld. She might’ve smiled or even looked at him, and in his delusion believed she was a seductress deserving of punishment.”

“So, what? This guy sees himself as some sort of god?”

“We believe that is his delusion, yes,” answers Emily. “Each victim also bore signs of sexual trauma, this is something Zeus is also renowned for in the mythology. Our unsub thinks he’s infallible and that these women’s lives and deciding when and how these women live and die is his divine right.”

“Do we know if there will be more victims?” asks one of the detectives.

You step forward from your place between Morgan and Hotchner. “Given the number of victims Zeus punished within the mythology, we can assume he is not finished. These kills are two weeks apart. It’s been twelve days since the last body was found. We can only assume he’s currently hunting for his next victim. And when he finds one, he convinces her to go to a second location. It's once they leave the primary location that he attacks. In each case, the victim suffered a blow to the head, leaving a uniquely shaped gash in her forehead. This suggests that he strikes them with a distinct blunt object or even a ring that’s on his hand.”

“We need every man out on the streets,” Hotch states, his eyes hard as he scans the group of law enforcement gathered to receive the profile. “He stalks his victims in the city, often on the weekends when night life is busiest. He’s charming. He has no problem approaching women because he views himself as a deity and carries himself with the arrogance and confidence of one. He’s white, in his early to mid 30s, good looking, charming, and likely has a career that would’ve provided him with medical training.”

A female detective with short blonde hair sticks her pencil in the air. “How do we know that?”

“The incisions made on Regina’s body were clean, precise, and showed no signs of hesitation,” explains Rossi. “The M.E. also informed us that the hepatic artery was clamped off, meaning,” Rossi hesitates before continuing on, “meaning Regina Mansford was alive as her liver was being cut from her body.”

An uncomfortable murmuring breaks out. Hotch raises a hand, silencing them. Your mouth goes dry and you swallow, hoping your team doesn’t notice the way your eyes dilate when you look at him and the silent way in which he can command a room.

“This is why we need every available officer on the streets. Increase units in the downtown area. Have plain clothes officers on the streets. That’s where we’ll be. Thank you.” Hotch tucks his head and sweeps out of the bullpen, the rest of the team trailing after him into the conference room.

“Where do you want us?” asks Morgan as you shut the door to the conference room.

“Reid, I want you here working the geographical profile. See if there’s anything we missed that could bring us closer to a precise location where he’s kidnapping his victims. Rossi and JJ, I want you to go back to Sarah’s apartment and see if we missed anything that tells us where she was exactly on the night she was kidnapped. Derek and Emily take the north side of downtown.” He inclines his head toward you. “You and I will take the south side.”

His eyes linger on yours a moment longer than they ought to have. You dip your head and swiftly exit the room, jacket in hand as you prepare to brave not only the frigid Michigan cold but working one one-on-one with Hotch. This had been going on for months; subtle looks, brief touches where his fingers would slide over yours while passing off a case file…yet a part of you still wasn’t sure if it would ever go any further than that. You spend so much of your time with the team, it would be so easy to mistake one gesture for something that it wasn’t. Yet you knew that wasn’t true. You know behavior. You’re trained to recognize the subtlest of shifts in demeanor and body language and you know exactly what is going on.

You jump as someone pushes through the front door of the precinct. Emily’s gentle laugh disrupts your rumination. “Sorry,” she says, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She moves to stand closer to you as she zips her jacket. “The guys went to grab the cars.”

You nod and shove your hands in your pockets.

Emily arches a perfectly manicured brow. “What’s up?”

You school your expression and feign nonchalance. “Nothing, I just want to catch this guy before he hurts anyone else.”

Emily’s brow furrows and then straightens, a glimmer of knowing in her eye. “Something tells me there’s a different guy on your mind.”

Your heart skips a beat and you nearly choke on the crisp winter air. “What? I don’t—“ Your words falter as Derek and Hotch arrive, the SUVs humming to a gentle stop at the curb.

Emily eyes you, a sly smile curving one side of her red lips. “We’ll talk later.” She winks and steps forward to open the passenger side door, sliding inside and disappearing into the dark interior.

As you turn to move toward the SUV, Hotch is there, opening the door for you. The gesture surprises you, but it shouldn’t. He’d been doing little things like this for weeks now. You nod your head in thanks and as you turn your body to slide past him, his hand catches your hip. Your breath hitches in your throat as his fingers glide against the small of your back, guiding your movement into the vehicle.

His hard eyes meet yours as he shuts the door and you’re grateful for the shadows inside the car as you feel your face flush bright red. Hotch slides into the driver’s seat with ease. He shifts the car into gear and pulls onto the road, heading in the direction of downtown.

After a few minutes, you open your mouth to disrupt the silence, but his cell rings. Hotch answers and places it on speaker as JJ’s voice floats through the receiver, “Hotch, we think we’ve got something at Sarah Walters apartment.”

“What’s that?” you ask.

“There’s a sticky note in her trash can,” a garbled sound echoes through the speaker as she shifts the phone. The sound of paper crinkles as she reads, “Tony’s at 9, does that mean anything? Has Garcia come across a Tony in any of her research into the victims’ lives? Maybe an Anthony?”

An image of a neon sign flashes across your mind’s eye. “It’s a bar,” you say matter-of-factly.

“A bar?”

“I remember seeing the sign on our drive-in. It’s a bar on the south side of downtown. That could be where he’s meeting these women.”

“We’re only a few blocks away, we’ll head there now. Thank you, JJ.” He hangs up and slips the phone into his jacket pocket.

“How do you want to play this?” you ask.

“We go in, make observations, see if we can identify anyone that matches the profile.”

You smirk and a small laugh escapes your lips.

“Something funny?” Hotch asks, his voice low in his throat.

You purse your lips, pausing before you proceed. “If we go in looking like feds, we’ll scare this guy away.” You tilt your head, considering. “Well, one of us anyway.”

A slight twitch in his brow is the only indication your words have just barely gotten under his skin. “Touched a nerve, sir?”

As the traffic light ahead blinks red, he eases the car to a stop. He breathes out slowly, the amber glow of the stoplight reflecting in his eyes. In less than two heartbeats, he thrusts the car into park and with both hands clasps your face, drawing you in to kiss you with such fervor white spots dot your vision. It takes a moment to process the heat of his mouth on yours and the way his tongue slides between your lips, and before you can truly reciprocate the light turns green and he pulls back, his breathing ragged against your mouth as his forehead touches yours. “Be careful when and how you choose to call me sir.”

Before you can exhale, his eyes are on the road again and you’re driving deeper into downtown.

“Understood,” and then you add, almost imperceptibly, “sir.”

A small smile quirks at the corner of his lips, but he says nothing more as you approach your destination.

It's nearing 9:30pm when you pull up on the street parallel to Tony’s. People trickle in and out of the bar in groups of twos and threes; most are young, in their mid to late twenties.

“Right,” you say as you unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to exit the vehicle. “Stay here.”

“Excuse me?” Hotch asks, reaching over your lap and grabbing your wrist to stay your hand from popping the door open. Your breathing stills and he just barely turns his face toward yours. “Since when do you give me orders?”

Unsure where the confidence to challenge him comes from, you lean in near his ear. You swallow once before speaking. “I think you like taking them.” Feeling incredibly brazen, you nip at his ear once and as the unexpected gesture disarms him; flick your wrist out of his grasp and pop the door open. You slide out of the car and are immediately greeted by the frigid January air eliciting goosebumps up and down your arms. Extending an arm overhead to hang on to the frame of the SUV; you lean down into the cab of the vehicle. “I’ve got you right here,” you say as you tap the hidden earpiece. “Let me know if you see anyone from the outside that fits the profile.”

Hotch eyes you and there’s a fierceness in his gaze. You wonder if he’s thinking of how he’ll ultimately retaliate for your little role reversal now that he’s gone and upped the ante in this little game of cat and mouse. “See you soon,” you wink and slam the door shut.

As you approach the bar, you make sure your coat is buttoned in a way that hides your sidearm and credentials from sight. The bouncer doesn’t even pretend to ask for an ID as you approach and move through the front door with ease. As you cross through the threshold, your senses are assaulted by the smell of beer on tap, the sharp tang of liquor, grease, and an amalgamation of perfumes and colognes.

Immediately you begin scanning the room. You note the layout of the bar: three exits for patrons, the one you just came in through, one near the bathrooms for cigarette smokers, and an emergency exit on the far right wall near to the kitchen. There are three pool tables all of which are occupied as well as three dart boards along the far wall. Groups of friends engage one another and dates carry on without a hitch. You approach the bar, which is centered along the far wall. Stools line the high countertop and behind the bar, two women work to fulfill the never-ending drink orders. You approach the bar and slide into one of the empty seats, relaxing your shoulders as you do so, and order a rum and coke that you don’t plan on drinking.

After a moment the bartender drops a cocktail napkin in front of you and places the drink on top. You thank her and stir the contents of the drink with the swizzle stick popped inside.

“Is this seat taken?” an unfamiliar voice causes the hair on the back of your neck to prickle and you know immediately that it’s him.

Painting on a saccharine sweet smile, you turn toward the voice. A white man, standing at about 6’2”, is smiling down at you. The neon lights behind the bar reflect in his blue-gray eyes and his honey blonde hair falls in soft waves to his shoulders. “Please,” you say demurely and gesture toward the seat. You tell him your name and continue smiling.

“Ronan Carlson,” he introduces himself as he slides in beside you and adjusts the lapels on his leather jacket, a fake Rolex peeking out from his sleeve. He’s preening, you think to yourself. The bartender approaches from behind the bar and he smiles, the curve of his lips the opening act of his charming performance. “I’ll have what she’s having, thank you.” He pulls a roll of cash from the inner pocket of his jacket, flips through several bills, and pulls a $100 bill free before sliding it across the counter to her.

The bartender’s eyes widen in surprise and he winks at her. She nods her thanks and turns to make his drink.

“That was very kind of you,” I say, stirring my drink for the thirteenth time.

He shrugs and tips the baseball cap he’s wearing down over his eyes and you know it’s to obstruct the view the cameras have of him. “It’s only money, and I think I may have made her night.” He inclines his head toward the bartender whose head is bent close to the other woman’s. She’s smiling wide and shows her the $100 bill.

Internally, you roll your eyes hard, but externally you smile and look at him from beneath your lashes. “You must have a great job, what do you do for work?”

His hand flexes as he sets his drink down on the counter and you note the two chunky platinum rings he wears on his right hand. There are symbols etched into them offset by different colored stones, but you don’t want him to catch you staring as he answers, “I’m in business for myself these days,” he says with no further explanation. “Though I used to be in the military.”

You feign surprise, though you were hopeful he’d continue to divulge information. “The military, wow. Let me guess,” you pause and allow your eyes to slowly scan him from head to toe. You remember the profile. “Army…medic.”

“Reign it in,” you hear Hotchner’s voice through the earpiece. “Be mindful of how much you reveal to him. Don’t let him know you know more about him than he’s letting on.”

You watch him assess you and your read into him. One blonde brow creeps up toward his hairline and that wicked smile curves his lips again. “Excellent guess, how do you figure?”

Leaning on to your forearms, you push your drink aside and slide your hand over his and you don’t miss the way his fingers tense at your touch.

“It’s the hands,” you say coyly. “You look like you know how to handle yourself.” He relaxes under your touch and a heat ignites in his eyes that makes your stomach churn, but you don’t let it show on your face. “You look like you know how to handle a lot of things.”

He licks his lips and turns the ring on his finger. “Tell you what,” he says as he picks up his drink. He places the glass to his lips and downs its contents. “Why don’t we get out of here?” He looks down at you from beneath dark lashes. “And I’ll show you just how much I can handle.”

You stand up and flash him a grin. “Let me quickly freshen up and I’ll meet you out front.”

His lips quirk into a smirk, “I’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

You smile as you slip away toward the bathroom. As you push through the crowd you inform Hotch that the unsub is on his way out.

“There’s a line growing out the door,” he answers over the earpiece. “Does the description match the profile?”

“To a T,” you answer as you push past a couple with their tongues in each other's mouths. The amount of patrons has increased dramatically over the last hour. The volume of the music makes it hard to hear through the earpiece. You push your way into the restroom and are surprised to find it empty. Fortunately, the outside noise is muffled. You begin to describe Ronan’s appearance and note the jacket and hat he’s wearing. “He’s wearing two oddly shaped rings,” you add. “I think it’s what’s caused the unusual injury to the victims’ faces.”

“I’ve got him. He’s cutting through the line toward the parking lot.” You hear the car door open and slam.

“Got it, I’ll be right there.”

“Good work,” Hotch says over the open line.

You smile to yourself as you unbutton your jacket, glad to be on the receiving end of his praise. For a split second you wonder what else you could be on the receiving end of if you continue to play this game with him. After the case, you remind yourself. Priorities. Priority number one is getting this sick bastard off the street, and he’s right here within your grasp. You shoulder the door as you reach for your gun, positioning your thumb over the rotating hood to dislodge your weapon from its holster.

Over the speakers, an employee is calling to celebrate someone’s birthday. The crowd is distracted and pushing toward the source of celebration. The bar erupts into an off key rendition of Happy Birthday but you don’t hear it as 30,000 volts of electricity course through your veins. Your muscles spasm and lock up as you fall forward. Pain radiates from your abdomen in waves that crash over you again and again. You try to tell your body what to do as strong arms catch you and pull you into a chest that smells like cigarette smoke, but your limbs don’t cooperate. You feel his nose root into your hair as his lips find your ear. “How’s that for capable?”

As he shoulders your weight and steers you out through the emergency exit you hear Hotch’s voice in your ear. “It’s not him!” There’s an edge of panic in his voice as he says your name. “Do you copy? It’s not him. He gave another man $500 to wear his hat and jacket into the parking lot. It’s not him. Do you have eyes on him?”

Dark spots the edges of your vision as he drags your dead body weight. You try to focus all of your ability on getting out any words that can signal to Hotchner what’s happening, any at all but your mouth feels like it’s filled with cotton.”

You hear the tinkling of keys and a door slide open. Pain rattles through your skull as he throws you into the back of whatever vehicle he’s operating. Pain slices through your wrists as zip ties slice through the skin there. Through tunnel vision you see him leering at you. He’s backlit by the streetlights.

As his fist flies toward you, you finally manage one word.

“Aaron.”

•

When you come to, the first thing you feel before the splitting pain in your head threatens to cleave your mind in two, is cold.

Your mouth is dry, but as you move to lick your lips you realize you can’t because there’s a gag in your mouth. You try to move your hands, but they’re bound too. Zip ties cut into each wrist, securing them at your sides on the legs of a wooden chair. When you try to shift the chair, you learn that it’s bolted to the floor and your legs are spread open; zip ties at your knees and ankles keep them apart. Except for your bra and underwear, you’re naked. He undressed you. You feel the wound from the stun gun before you glance down at your stomach and see the two bloody pinpricks in your abdomen. You feel your heart rate increase as panic begins to set in. Do not panic , you tell yourself as you take a steadying breath. The minute you start to panic, you’re dead. You close your eyes and piece together the last dredges of your memory.

Tony’s. Sitting at the bar. The unsub. Ronan. Hotch was in pursuit. And then there was just pain.

Hotch.

The pain in your skull is overwhelming and you’re not sure if you can feel the earpiece anymore.

“Hotch,” you attempt to say through the gag. “Hotch, do you read me?”

You close your eyes as hot tears brim along your lash line when there’s no response. The signal is out of range or the unsub found the earpiece and removed it.

A door creaks open on squeaky hinges and your eyes dart toward the source of the sound. Ronan walks through the door with a sick smile on his face. As he saunters toward you, he rolls the sleeves of his flannel up to his elbows. Without looking away from you, his arm drops to his side and he scoops a folding metal chair with one hand, carrying it with him as he edges closer to you.

You flinch as he cracks the chair down in front of you, forcing it open. He chuckles as he takes a seat. His eyes skirt the length of your body and you wish any limb were free to deliver a blow to his smug face.

He reaches into his back pocket and withdraws your badge. He flips it open and holds it up to your face, the way his eyes flit between you and your credentials makes your lip curl.

“An FBI agent,” he says slowly. He slaps your credentials shut against his denim-clad thighs. “Hot damn!” he shouts and whoops. He throws your badge to the wayside and it clatters against the cement floor. “I’m going to take my time with you.”

It could’ve been hours. It could’ve been minutes. The torture is unrelenting and the pain is unending. Your chest heaves as you brace yourself for the next surge of electricity. Ronan, if that’s even his real name, twists the knob on the amplifier and taps the jumper cable clamps in his hands together. He smiles when he hears the buzz of electricity between them. As he presses them into your thighs, you cry out in pain as the shockwaves paralyze your body and mind and the pain overwhelms you.

“YES!” he roars as he pulls them away from you. He’d taken his flannel off, but now he peels off his t-shirt, balls it up, and uses it to wipe the sweat off of his face.

With the voltage no longer coursing through your veins, you slump forward, chest heaving as your scrambled brain fights to stay alert.

He drops the cables and clasps your face in his hand, forcing your chin up to meet his wild eyes. “You just don’t quit, do you? You're special.” He strokes your cheeks with his thumbs as if he cherishes what he’s doing to you. “You are worthy of a god.”

When you come to Ronan is watching you. He’s leaning forward, elbows on his knees, chin resting on his clasped hands.

“She wakes,” he muses.

You glare at him and his brow pinches. He purses his lips together like he’s been stung, but his eyes are alight with amusement.

“You,” he says, gesturing up and down your body, “look beautiful.”

You don’t need to look down to know the number of bloodied burn wounds spanning the lengths of your legs. If you couldn’t keep track of any other thought, the count was all that kept you grounded. There were ten. Five on each leg. Your wrists and ankles bled from the way you’d pulled against them with every shock he delivered.

He reaches forward and this time you don’t flinch. He hooks two fingers into the gag and pulls it down over your chin, his fingers trailing your lips as he does so.

“Here,” he says, bringing a bottle of water to your lips. “Drink.”

You clamp your lips shut and turn your face away. He laughs and shakes his head. “Come on now, don’t refuse me. That’s not how you show gratitude when a god shows you mercy.”

You muster as much hatred into your stare as you focus your attention back on him. “Mercy?” you hiss, and your voice is hoarse from screaming against the gag. It hurts to speak. You pull against your restraints. “This is what you call mercy?”

“I’m only testing you to see if you’re worthy,” he says by way of explanation. "You've lasted longer than the others."

“Worthy of what?” you ask, but you already know the answer.

“To be my Hera.”

“How is what you’re doing to me, what you did to those other women, going to help you find her?”

“They weren’t worthy,” he answered. “They couldn’t take my power like you could, my lightning. They were false. They needed to be punished.”

He leans in, his lips close enough to yours that you can feel his smoky breath on your skin. “But you, you deserve to be rewarded.” Your skin bristles at his words. His lips find your jawline and you grimace as he drags them up the side of your face. When he pulls away, dried blood flakes onto his skin.

“Don’t be afraid,” he soothes as he smoothes your sweat-drenched hair away from your face. “You’ll enjoy it.”

Unable to suffer any more of his poisonous bullshit, you rear your head back and slam it forward. Pain explodes behind your forehead, but it’s worth it to hear the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking. He roars in pain and clutches his bleeding nose. White light blinds you as he backhands you and curses your name. His ring splits the skin of your cheek open. The force of the blow causes you to bite your lip and you feel your teeth cut into the chapped skin there. You spit blood at him, angering him further.

“You are false!” he screams, spittle flying from his mouth as he shoves the gag back into your mouth. “You are not her!” He moves to pick up the jumper cables, twisting the knob of the amplifier all the way up causing the bulbs overhead to flicker. You know this is it. If he touches you with those, it will kill you.

Bracing yourself for the killing blow, you go to the grave knowing you did not give in to this bastard.

It never lands.

Instead, three shots ring out and he’s falling to the floor dead at your feet. As the unsub’s body falls, Hotchner’s frame comes into view and a choked sob escapes your lips. He holsters his weapon and runs to you. Emily and Morgan are right behind him. Morgan passes Hotch a Swiss Army knife from his pocket and he makes quick work of the zip ties binding you to the chair. From the corner of your eye, you see Emily turn off the amplifier and check Ronan’s pulse.

Unable to hold yourself up, you fall forward into his ready arms, letting yours fall over his shoulders. Hotch drops to his knee to support your weight. “You’re okay,” he says as he pulls the gag free from your mouth and you sob into his chest. He smooths your hair back from your face, his eyes assessing the damage done to you. Blood stains his shirt, your blood.

“Morgan, your jacket.” Hotch orders.

Without hesitation, Morgan unfastens his bulletproof vest and unzips his jacket. He passes it to Hotch who drapes it around your shoulders in an attempt to preserve some of your modesty.

“I need a medic!” he shouts before directing his attention back to you.

Your eyes waver as you try to keep them open. You lock in on the depths of his warm brown eyes. “You’re going to be fine,” he says but his voice sounds far away.

“He wanted someone to be his Hera,” you say weakly.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” Hotch soothes.

You swallow and it hurts your throat to do so. Your lips crack open, “You found me.”

Hotch cradles your head against his chest. “Of course I did.”

You wince as the sound of a gurney crashes into the room, the metal wheels squealing as it draws near. Your head swims as you’re swept into the air and laid out on its cushiony bed. A light shines in your eyes and voices are overlapping. Blindly, you use what strength you have left to drop your hand off the side. Unable to focus your attention on where he is, you know he’ll hear you. “Don’t leave me.”

And as you lose consciousness, you feel his hand slip into yours.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

•

A steady beeping fills your ears as you slowly come to. Your eyes feel bruised and you don’t think you have it in you to open them, but you feel something around your wrists and bolt upright. Pain crashes over you in a wave. It was a dream. You’re still bound in that basement. The beeping increases, growing louder and faster. Someone says your name and you feel hands on your shoulders. You try to swing your fist and are surprised when your arm follows through and makes contact with flesh. Did you break through the zip ties? You hear your name again, clearer this time. A man. He’s asking you to stop, to relax.

“It’s me,” he repeats and says your name again. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital.” He says your name again. “It’s me, it’s Aaron.”

You stop fighting and blink hard. Hotchner’s stern face comes into view, except there’s concern wavering in the depths of his brown eyes. His brow softens as you relax. A small smile turns the corners of his lips. “Hey there,” he says. A nurse rushes into the room and he raises a hand, “We’re fine, here. Thank you.”

The nurse looks at you and you nod. She looks unsure about leaving but ultimately relents. “I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake.”

Aaron cups the back of your head in one of his hands and gently begins to lower you back down onto the pillows behind you. You allow him to guide you and feel the tension ease from your muscles as your back sinks into the surprisingly plush hospital pillow.

As the adrenaline wears off, you’re finally able to take stock of your injuries as the pain quickly makes itself known. You feel your pulse beating in your skull, pounding at your temples, eyebrow, and cheekbone. With shaky fingers, you touch the places where you remember the unsub striking you. You feel a thick bandage taped over your right eyebrow and steri-strips over your cheek. Your lip is swollen from where you bit it.

Bandages encircle your wrists and there’s an IV stuck in your hand. You’ve been dressed in a hospital gown and the sheets are drawn up to your waist covering the burn wounds. You don't have to see them to know how bad they look. The pain is telling enough.

“Is he dead?” you ask, lowering your hand back down to the bed.

Hotch’s lips form a tight line. “Yes.”

You blink back tears as that information sinks in. “Good,” you whisper in a choked voice. You blink and allow your head to loll to the side. A colorful bouquet of roses and carnations dotted with plastic ladybugs and butterflies sits in a clear vase on the side table.

You smile, “Garcia?”

Hotch smiles in turn. “It was tough to convince her to go home and get some sleep, but I promised her I wouldn’t leave you alone. Even then, it was still a hard-fought battle.”

You chuckle and wince as the movement irritates your injuries.

Hotch telegraphs his next move, and you know it’s to avoid startling you. He cups his hand over your uninjured cheek and strokes the skin there with his thumb.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he says, and his voice sounds tired and pained. “I should’ve gone inside with you.”

“Hotch, don’t.” You reach up and wrap your fingers around his wrist. “Don’t do that to yourself. He didn’t know I was with the FBI until after he took me. If you’d been there, he might’ve pegged us as law enforcement and taken off. He might still be out there and we’d be finding another dead woman in a matter of days. You know I’m right.”

Hotch closes his eyes and heaves a heavy sigh. “I could hear you.”

“What?” you whisper. You try to sit up and wince as the movement stings the wounds in your legs and abdomen. Hotch stands and helps adjust the pillows behind your back before sitting back down in the chair at your bedside.

“Not for very long. He drove out of range, but I heard him speaking to you. I heard the blows land. I heard your head smack against the floor when he threw you in the van.” He stops and shakes his head. “I felt so helpless. I was afraid. I couldn’t get to you, just like,” his voice catches in his throat. “just like I couldn’t get to Haley.”

Your heart breaks for him as he speaks. You reach for his hand and take it, squeezing it. “Aaron, you did get to me. You saved my life.”

He clears his throat and swallows. “Yes, but we were almost too late.”

“But you weren’t,” you state, your tone firm. “Aaron, look at me.”

He hesitates and inhales deeply before lifting his gaze to yours. The corners of his eyes soften as he meets yours and you smile. You gently tug his hand, “Come here.”

Hotch glances toward the door and then back at you, “The doctor—“

“Isn’t going to do shit,” you finish. “I’m the one that endured hours of torture. Pretty sure I’m allowed some close comfort.”

He lets out a shallow laugh. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.” Standing, he shrugs out of his suit jacket and drapes it over the back of the chair. With one hand he loosens his tie until he’s able to pull it up and over his head. He tosses it onto the chair and circumnavigates the bed, assessing the best way to join you on the small mattress.

You groan as you slide over. Hotch reaches out to stop you but you silence him with a pointed look. “Mind the IV,” you say as you pat the space beside you.

Hotch acquiesces, using the tips of his fingers to raise the IV drip enough for him to slide into bed beside you. He slips an arm around you and drops the feed. It falls across his torso. The feel of his arm around you is comforting, like a security blanket, like safety. You relax into him, and rest your head on his chest. His lips brush against your bandaged brow.

“Not quite how I imagined we’d first be sharing a bed,” you joke softly as you nuzzle in deeper against the wide plane of his chest.

You feel him smile against your hair. “Only you could joke at a time like this.”

“If I can’t laugh at what’s happened, I’ll never be able to close my eyes at night.”

“Well, if that’s the case.” He rubs the bare skin of your arm in small circles. “I’ll be there until you can.”

You turn your head to look at him then, your heart full. This is happening. His eyes are on yours and you push yourself toward him ever so slightly. He closes the small gap between you and presses his lips to yours. It wasn’t hungry and primal like the kiss in the car. There would be plenty of time for that later. This kiss was light, tender…healing.

“Sir, I’m sorry. I tried to go home, I really did but as soon as I got there I—” Garcia’s voice abruptly cuts off. You look up and her initial look of surprise turns to one of abject joy.

You feel your cheeks flush as Emily and Morgan appear in the doorway behind her. Morgan’s eyes widen and Emily’s brow arches as a smile curves her lips.

“I, uh, brought backup.” Penelope giggles. She remembers she’s holding something. “And cookies! I couldn’t sleep, so I baked. I figured I could bribe you into going home and getting some sleep.” Her words leave her mouth at a mile a minute. “I thought you’d fight me on it, so I brought some muscle.” She gestures with a tilt of her head. “They’re the muscle.”

Morgan exhales and points a finger at you and Hotch. “Can someone explain to me what’s going on here?”

Emily elbows him and he drops his arm. She takes the tray from Garcia and walks it over to the side table where she places it next to the flowers. She winks at you as she turns back to Garcia and Morgan. “It’s about time,” she says.

Penelope laughs as she hooks her arm in Emily’s. “What's it been? Two, three months?”

Morgan guffaws. “Months?”

Penelope pats his face with a ring-adorned hand. “My sweet oblivious profiler. Come on, hot stuff.” She takes him by the hand and leads him from the room. Emily shakes her head and laughs. “Men.”

“Safe to say the team knows.”

Hotch releases a breathy laugh and kisses your forehead again. “I know what will be the first thing on the agenda at tomorrow’s debriefing.”

•

6 weeks. It had been 6 weeks since you’d pressed the elevator button that would bring you back to the office. The weight of your gun feels right where it sits upon your hip, your gait more familiar to you now than when it wasn’t holstered to your side. You nervously adjust the grip on your go bag. You’d packed and repacked it the night before.

This morning as you were getting out of the shower, you stared at yourself in the mirror. Your cheek had healed nicely though the skin on your brow that had been split by the unsub’s ring had scarred, severing the tail end of your eyebrow from the rest of it. The ligature marks around your wrists and ankles had healed and the skin was smooth once more. The stun gun had scarred your abdomen, but all that remained were two purple pinpricks of scar tissue no bigger than the size of an infant’s thumbnail.

Your legs are a different story. The front of your thighs are an array of mottled scar tissue. One burn had gone so deep that they’d needed to graft skin from your calf to salvage it. The wounds no longer hurt physically, but you’d woken up from nightmares on more than one occasion.

You were never alone though. Garcia worked remotely on secure laptops with VPNs as often as she was able. Rossi brought you home-cooked Italian at least twice a week and talked with you over numerous glasses of red wine. Reid brought black-and-white foreign existentialist films that you didn’t understand, but his enthusiasm as he watched made you happy all the same. Emily and Morgan brought coffee and donuts as often as they could and Hotch…if he wasn’t at the office or visiting Jack, he was with you. On several occasions, he brought Jack. Jack would sit on the bed beside you, playing with his toys, narrating the adventures of his action figures as Aaron stood in the doorway, smiling. At night, when you had woken in a cold sweat, Aaron was there with a washcloth to wipe it away. When the bandages had stuck to your burn wounds and it felt like your skin was being peeled apart, he got your pain medicine and helped change the dressings, holding you until the pain had passed.

You blink as the elevator dings, signaling you’ve reached your destination. You take a deep breath and smooth down the front of your blouse as the door opens wide. Everything looks the same, yet everything feels like it's changed as you approach the desk you occupy perpendicular to Emily’s. A smile crosses your lips as you see the Welcome Bac k card on your desk. Two vases of flowers sit behind the card. One is almost exactly like the one from the hospital so you know it’s from Garcia. The other, a bouquet of purple tulips, has a note attached to it. You open the note and read it.

Glad to have you back. Things haven’t been the same around here without you. -AH

Hotch. You should’ve known. You smile and tuck the note into your purse.

“Hey, hey, look who’s finally decided to get her ass back to work.” Morgan’s charming laugh is followed by Emily chastising him.

“Ignore him,” she says as she places a steaming mug of coffee on your desk.

“You’re a godsend,” you say by way of thanks and take a long drink. Two sugars, no milk, just the way you like. “Wow, Emily, that’s perfect. I needed this.”

“How come you don’t remember how I take my coffee?” Morgan asks pointedly.

She shrugs, “Chicks before dicks, Derek.”

You sputter and choke on your coffee.

“Look,” he says as he pats you on the back. “Her first day back and you’re gonna kill her.”

At that moment JJ passes by with a file in hand. She raises it in the air and gestures to the conference room. “We got a case.” She smiles at you warmly. “It’s good to have you back.”

Together, you, Morgan, and Emily enter the conference room where Reid, Hotch, and Rossi have already gathered. Once you’re all sat, JJ begins presenting the case. You review current victims and why the Sacramento Police Department has invited you onto the case

“Sacramento PD is expecting us this afternoon. We’ve got a long flight ahead of us. Wheels up in thirty, understood?”

A chorus of ‘yes sirs’ echo throughout the room. As the team gathers their belongings and moves to leave, you wait for Hotch to catch your eye. You wink at him before mouthing, “Yes, sir.”

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 month

Text

A Surprise^**

Hello friends, thank you so much for your patience. I ended up having quite a disastrous day and it took longer to finish editing! But here is the one shot based off of this request. Hope you like it!

Warnings: TW! abusive partner: mentions of love-bombing, gaslighting/accusations of infidelity, verbal arguments, intimidation tactics (psychological and physical), physical altercation between M/F ( described, but more intimidating than violent or aimed to hurt), physical altercation between M/M (not described but the aftermath is mentioned, bloody nosy type of thing), mentions of law enforcement and law enforcement processes. Mentions of sex, unprotected sex, oral (M/F receiving), fingering, unplanned pregnancy, ultrasound procedure.

WC: 18.2K

You were nervous as you rode up in the elevator. You weren’t claustrophobic or anything, so the feeling of it closing in on you was one you had no idea how to deal with. You were trying to keep your breathing as calm as possible and clearing your head of any irrational or negative thoughts, but it was truly a challenge. It had been a nearly a year since you and Harry had been in any space together and it was nerve-racking. What was originally supposed to be a month or two-long break, turned into all this time and distance. He said he wanted to talk and get some closure, which you thought was bull shit, and that’s why you were so nervous.

Before “the break” you and Harry had been dating for four years. Things had been going really well up until he started getting antsy to work again. You’d moved to London for him and now that he was finally “off” you saw that he was jumping into the next thing he could. You understood that he felt like he needed to do something with his time but soon enough he was back in the studio for hours at a time while you just hung out at his house. You lasted a year like that before you told him that you couldn’t do it anymore. You felt lonely in your relationship with him and you saw that he wasn’t ready to slow down and settle a bit like he said he was before. That was the whole reason why you’d even moved to London for him. So when you suggested a little time apart to have him sort through his priorities he freaked out on you. But the following morning the tune was different, he was more open to this idea of taking some time apart.

You had assured him over and over again that you loved him but that you were ready for the next step and he clearly wasn’t. He then assured you that you were the love of his life and that he’d take a month or two to just tie up all the loose strings with his current project and then focus back on your relationship. You even went back home to LA to give him all the space he needed. You checked in with each other a lot but when the two months were up you reached out and didn’t get a response back until two weeks later. Much to your dismay it was just an “I’m sorry.” And with tears in your eyes you just deleted the entire messaging feed you had with him.

A few months later you were back on the dating scene. One of your co-workers set you up with her cousin, Steven. He came off as sweet, smart, and mature. He mostly had his shit together from what she’d said and you had seen, so you gave him a real chance. Yeah, he was no Harry, but no one would ever equate to Harry, so you stopped comparing and got to know him for who he was. Soon enough you’d started to develop more feelings for Steven, he showered you in attention and time and affection, it was almost too much, you thought. But then you recalled that things had been so cold with Harry towards the end that maybe you just weren’t used it anymore. It wasn’t love-bombing, it was just a man who is interested in showing you what you meant to him. After two months of seeing him casually you started talking about the future, about starting a real, committed relationship. You talked about properly meeting each other’s families and taking serious steps forward, you were gearing up to properly move on with someone who clearly prioritized you! And then Harry called.

He was jealous, you heard it in his voice when he called, but the fact that he was jealous pleased you in a way. Honestly, you thought you’d be so well off that when you spoke to him you’d feel above him somehow, but when you heard his voice your heart ached with longing and your small victory suddenly made you feel a bit sadistic. He then asked to see you to get some closure and you quickly agreed because you needed it too. But that’s how you ended up at his hotel just an hour later. So far you were just standing there at his hotel door just taking each other in. Quite frankly, you were just pleased you had made it out of the elevator alive. But it felt like it’d been ages and no time at all at the same time, your heart was racing in the confines of your chest, making it hard to breathe once again. It made you so happy, but hurt your heart at the same time to see him. It was so confusing, feeling relief and joy and disappointment all at the same time.

“You look great.” He complimented you after a few moments of staring.

“Oh! Thanks.” You smiled timidly, “H-how are you?”

“I’m alright. Come on in.” He said moving aside and you wandered in. You sat at the couch in his suite as he headed to the kitchenette.

“Can I offer you some water or tea?” He asked.

“No, I’m alright.” You assured and he nodded before coming over to sit near you on the couch. You sat in silence for a few moments again before he chuckled in slight disbelief and shook his head.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here.” He confessed with a shake of his head.

“Me either.” You chuckled a bit humorlessly. He had wronged you…the only thing that you knew about him right now was that he did not love you as much as he said he did. If he did he wouldn’t have left you hanging like he had. “I guess I just…needed to see you one more time. I don’t think that we left off on a good note so-”

“Exactly. That’s why I wanted to see you.” He said leaning forward and taking your hand and your facade of stoicism and ease melted away immediately. The hurt from his actions just came to the surface and made a pang of pain ripple from your chest all the way out to your fingertips, you swore even your scalp hurt as his eyes met yours apologetically.

“Harry, it’s almost been a year.” You pointed out and he frowned.

“I know, love.” He confirmed, “And I haven’t even tried t-to apologize since that text I sent you.” He said and your eyes started welling up. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just…I got scared that if I took that step forward with you it meant that my work was gone.” He explained and you scoffed.

“Harry, no! When I asked you to slow down that’s all I meant. Slow down, not stop! I’d never tell you to stop.” You sighed, exasperated and upset that he even thought that you’d ever make him stop doing what he loved most, “I just wanted you to slow down a little and enjoy your life for yourself. Spend time with your mom and your sister and your cousins and nieces and nephews!” You vented, “W-with me.” You added towards the end and he nodded in understanding. “What you do with your work matters to me. I see how happy it makes you. And I don’t think I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like you couldn’t be honest with me about your priorities.” You said and he shook his head.

“You didn’t. I should’ve talked to you about it all, Y/N. I know I fucked up, big time, but I love you and-”

“No you don’t…” you interrupted with a scoff as you pulled your hand away from his, “You’re just jealous because I’m ready to move on with someone else now.” You said to him and he glanced up at the ceiling and smiled sadly.

“Yeah, of course I’m fucking jealous!” he confessed through a pained, breathy laugh, “And I still love you and whether you believe it or not because of my previous actions, I respect you and you deserve an apology. That’s why I wanted to see you.” He explained as his eyes met yours again, “I know that I’ve lost you, Y/N.” He said sadly, “Believe me, I didn’t come to try and talk you out of that decision. I just wanted to tell you, in person, that I love you with my whole heart. I should’ve fought for you. You showed me so much love and gave me all of your care and support all the time! I shouldn’t have been scared t-to talk about it. I shouldn’t have let you go.” He explained, “I’m going to have to live with that for the rest of my life, Y/N. I know that.” He sniffled and you wiped your tears carefully. “I just needed you to know that it’s not anything you did. I love you, even still, I think I’ll die loving you.” He said.

“Jesus, Harry…” you inhaled sharply before standing up quickly. You grabbed your purse from the coffee table and started rushing back to the door.

“Baby! Baby, baby, baby-” he rushed in front of you blocking the door, “J-just wait.” He sniffled, he looked panicked.

“Why should I?” You questioned him, “Why now?” You asked for clarity and he swallowed thickly, “You had this whole fucking time and now that I’m just about t-to forget about you, y-you show up and…” you trailed off as your anger boiled over and your tears started to trickle down your face more heavily.

“Y/N, I’m sorry-” He started.

“Y-you better not be trying to manipulate me!” You warned, your voice raised in accusation and he shook his head.

“I know it might seem that way b-but I’m not, love. I’m not looking for anything from you, I know I don’t deserve it. I just needed t-to see you and apologize to you and tell you how I feel before you wouldn’t entertain the idea of me in your presence ever again. And I know you probably hate me so much right now-” He explained and you inhaled sharply with a disappointed shake of your head.

“That’s the stupidest fucking part of this whole thing! I-” you stopped and shook your head, “I felt so happy when I heard from you.” You confessed, “And I still have so much love for you.” You sniffled and felt sick to your stomach just admitting it. You felt like an idiot for it.

You had gone over a very similar scenario in your head if not millions of times before while daydreaming or lying in bed. You dreamed of him coming back and apologizing and you having the strength to not come crawling back to him after whatever excuse he gave. Except you’d gotten it wrong. Harry wasn’t standing before you asking you to come back to him with an underlying arrogance that came with knowing that your love was enough to have you come back to him. He was actually just coming to be accountable for his mistakes and to apologize to you for hurting you. He came with humility and sincere repentance for his errors, no ulterior motives. And well, you weren’t nearly as strong as you thought you’d be by now.

“Oh, baby…” he sighed, “I don’t deserve it.” He recognized, “And I know that you’re happy.”

“I am.” You sniffled.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel confused, I really didn’t want that. I really just wanted to make things as right as I could after all this time.”

“Thank you.” You responded and he gave you one firm nod. “I think I should go.” You said and he glanced into your eyes and just waited for a moment and when you didn’t waiver he exhaled and moved out of your way to let you leave.

You reached for the door and opened it up before stepping out into the hall, pulling it shut behind you as you cried quietly as you walked back to the elevator, what seemed like a trap before now felt like your much needed escape. You were just about to step inside when you glanced back down the hallway at his door, questioning if you’d been too harsh. After all, you did miss him and you still loved him…you’d definitely regret not giving him a hug goodbye or even just confirming to him that you forgave him. So with all the strength you had, you ignored that pull to return to him and got inside and left. It was time to move on.

****************

You’d been quiet and in your head all afternoon. Internalizing everything you were feeling was weird because you were never one to just let things brew in silence. You had to talk about it and your best friend was back in the UK and she had an important work thing in the morning so you couldn’t interrupt and you just wanted to talk to someone who would be 100% real with you. You decided to just distract yourself until stopped by for dinner, surely his company would provide an adequate distraction.

But even when Steven arrived you found yourself ruminating on how awkwardly you’d left Harry. You certainly got what you needed but you were out of there so fast that you had no idea if he got the closure he needed from you and now you felt bad! That’s what you were thinking about, but your silent and pensive demeanor had Steven feeling iced out which he did not like. So after sitting in your little living room on his phone for half an hour in complete silence as his football game droned on, on the TV he figured he’d just ask you.

“Babe, are you upset at me?” He finally asked as he came into the kitchen. You were just grating some carrots into the salad you were making for dinner.

“No.” You assured him with a small smile as you glanced up at him briefly.

“Well, you’ve been oddly quiet since I got here. More than half the time I’m wishing you’d just shut up for five minutes but I don’t know anymore…it’s weird.” He joked, trying to make light of the situation. But upon hearing that your brows pinched in confusion and offense at his “joke”.

“That’s quite rude and not funny at all. I heard you turn on the game and you don’t like it when I talk to you when you’r watching so I just stayed quiet.” You mumbled a bit spitefully before going back to grating and he came closer and placed a hand on your hip.

“Damn, you’re so sensitive, it was a joke.” He said mawkishly and your irritation continued blooming so you refused to look at him, “Y/N, you’re clearly in your head about something and now you’re taking it out on me.” He said and you sighed.

“I’m not taking anything out on you, Steven. I’m just thinking some stuff through.” You shared with him.

“Stuff like…?” He pressed.

“Like…my ex, Harry.” You said and he straightened up at the mention of Harry’s name.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked with a sardonic smile and you put down the carrot and glanced up at him.

“You asked.” You emphasized and he huffed out a sarcastic laugh, “I’m not done, so listen up because it’s good news for you.” You said and he clenched his jaw and nodded, “Well he’s in town and he asked to see me so we could talk,” You explained and Steven’s expression twisted into a disconcerting look, “so earlier I met up with him and we talked-”

“Wait.” He cut you off, “Why the hell would you think to go see your ex?” He asked you, fully offended over what you’d done this afternoon.

“I went to get closure! And well, considering we’ve been talking about starting a relationship in the near future it’s good for us that I just close that door for good.” You explained and he shook his head.

“And you didn’t think to tell me about this before you went there?”

“It happened so fast and I know you were meeting clients all day so I-”

“You should have at least asked if I was fine with you doing that!” He groaned with frustration and you frowned.

“Like…ask you for permission?” You asked and he shook his head.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Y/N.” He snapped quickly.

“I’m not, I was asking for clarification. You said I should’ve asked if it was alright with you before going. Is that not asking for permission?” You asked and he sighed.

“Look, not permission but like…at least consider me! Like, have me be there so he doesn’t get any ideas.” He said and you looked at him like he was completely delusional.

“W-what?!” You asked in disbelief, “Why would I invite you into a conversation with me and my ex about our old relationship?” You questioned.

“Because, I need to make sure nothing weird is going on! And if you didn’t want me there, which you clearly didn’t, then you should’ve asked if I was cool with you going to meet him all alone! It makes me uncomfortable to think of you two alone.” He said and you were complete confused at his logic.

“And what if you said that no, I couldn’t go?” You asked.

“I would’ve said no and you would’ve not gone.” He rebutted confidently and you were in total shock, “You have no business talking to him again, Y/N.” He added and you sighed and shook your head in exasperation.

“I wanted answers and an apology, Steven. I am owed at least that! And he took responsibility. He was able to give that to me.” You said and he scoffed.

“You’re…you’re so fucking naive.” He said and you looked at him in confusion, “It’s a test. He was testing you! Testing you to see if you’re still loyal to him. Testing to see if he still has power over you! And guess what? By going there all alone the moment he called you up, you confirmed that for him. You confirmed that he still owns you!” He was speaking to you in the most belittling way. You felt your rage flaring up inside of you.

“What are you even saying?!” You scoffed in disbelief, “It was just a conversation! I was in and out of there in less than 10 minutes!” You laughed incredulously.

“10 minutes? Really? That alone fucked you up so much you couldn’t talk to me?” He asked with a sardonic look on his face and you rolled your eyes, “See now, I’m not so sure that something else didn’t happen between you two.” He soft-launched his accusation and you scoffed.

“Nothing happened! I’m telling you that he said what he needed to say and I just left!” You explained, “I’m just thinking on it because I don’t feel right about just having left like that.” You explained, “It was awkward, the way I handled it. I didn’t even ask him if he had any questions for me or anything else to say, I was selfish. I just got the apology I needed and that was that.” You said a bit sadly and his jaw clenched for a second before biting down on the inside of his cheek.

“You promise that was it?” He asked you after a few moments of silence.

“I promise! Literally we just talked.” You reiterated and he nodded.

“Fine. I’m sorry.” He said grumpily, like a child who is dying inside because they had to apologize. You imagined he was feeling a bit ashamed or even embarrassed for jumping to conclusions like that and being so off the mark. So you walked up to him and hugged him tight as you rested your head against his chest. You relaxed in his arms and smiled when you felt his hand grab your jaw and angle up your face. Your eyes met for a few tense seconds, you were preparing for him to ardently kiss you but suddenly his hand fell from your jaw and grabbed around your throat, right beneath your jaw. Your eyes widened in fear as his grip got a bit tighter by the second. His eyes were dark as he stared into yours.

“S-steven.” You gasped in concern as you started to run out of oxygen. You tried to wiggle out of his grip, eyes watery and full of fear as your nails dug into his wrist hoping to startle him out of whatever possessed him to do this.

“I don’t want you talking to or seeing him again. Never again. Do you understand me?” He demanded and you felt your entire body just turn cold. You had no idea how to even react to this change in Steven’s demeanor so you just nodded. “You’re going to be mine soon and I need to know that I can trust you fully.” He said “I want to trust you. But can I? Can I trust you to stay away from him?” he asked and you nodded again, you’d do anything to get out of this situation, “Then say it. Swear to me.” He insisted darkly as he loosened his grip around you.

“I-I’ll never talk to him or see him again.” You whispered, “I swear.” You insisted with tearful eyes and he let you go before walking out of the kitchen silently.

You grabbed onto the counter because your legs unexpectedly lost their strength. You were panting, struggling so hard to breathe as this entire interaction processed in your brain. You suddenly felt extremely nauseated as a wave of fear overcame you. You trembled wordlessly for a bit, feeling so devastatingly mortal. You’d never had such little power. You’d never felt so small. After a short, uncomfortable, and contemplative moment you grabbed the carrot you had been working on and got back to grating. You just had to take deep breaths and grate.

You were walking on egg shells for the remainder of the night, doing anything and everything to act as normal as possible and not bait him into another aggression. Meanwhile, he was genuinely chatting with you so casually, as if he hadn’t just grabbed you by the throat like that. It terrified you that he wasn’t acting, he was genuinely fine. You were questioning yourself now, wondering if there were signs you missed? Granted, you were now getting into more serious turf, but there was nothing that you’d seen before that indicated towards him ever behaving this way. Even as you lay in bed attempting to get some rest you just stared at your ceiling thinking about that moment. How dark his eyes looked…did you need to tell someone? It’s not like he’d actually hurt you…or threatened you…he just made you promise to stay away from Harry. There wasn’t even a mark on you. Who would believe you or what could you even do about it?

He sweetened up intensely after that though and it had your mind reeling. Even when you’d had sex earlier he had been so possessive. Normally, any type of sensual talk got you going but when he told you he was “going to make you his” as he finished it didn’t have the usual or intended effect, it made you feel uneasy and made you regret having slept with him after what had happened earlier on. You immediately hopped into the shower because you just needed to wash off the memory of him of on you. You held in your tears because you thought he would join you but he just called out a goodbye after some minutes. But even in your solitude you were practically frozen and emotionless. You’d never experienced him like that and it worried you, so you decided to talk to your friend about it.

*****************

You were nervous to talk to Marie about this because she was also his cousin, but you just needed to know if there was a history to Steven that you didn’t know yet. Maybe he’d done something like this before, just got aggressive and overly possessive with another partner? Or perhaps he’d been cheated on and severely overreacted because of his past hurt? But Marie’s sort of distant demeanor should’ve tipped you off that things were not going to be good with this conversation.

“Thanks for meeting me. I actually wanted t-to talk to you about something important.” You said as soon as the waiter left after bringing your drinks. “Something that happened w-with Steven.” You said and she pulled away from her straw.

“Look, you don’t need to tell me what happened, Y/N.” She interjected, “Steven already told me.” She said flatly and for a second her anger seemed just. You were glad she was angry at him for you. “And look I love you and you’re my friend, but quite frankly, I can’t believe you’d go and hook up with Harry after how good Steven has been to you.” She said and your jaw dropped in shock.

“W-wait what?” You asked incredulously.

“Don’t do that with me, Y/N. I know how weak you are for Harry.” She said and you shook your head, “I mean…I did warn Steven early on t-to be careful and take his time with you because you’d probably cave and run back to Harry.” She said and you frowned, “But after all this time? I mean Jesus, Y/N! The man pretended like you didn’t exist for almost a year! How little self respect do you have t-to allow him back in after everything?!” She questioned you with disappointment and a harsh judgement.

“Is that really what you think of me?” You asked her and she sighed.

“Look, I’m sorry for being so harsh but I love you and I’m angry at you for cheating on my cousin. He’s a good guy!” She defended her stance and you shook your head.

“I didn’t cheat on your cousin. We’re not even in an official or exclusive relationship so even if I had fooled around with Harry he has nothing to be upset over! He’s the one who hasn’t wanted to be exclusive yet!” You corrected and Marie smiled incredulously down at her drink, “You don’t have to believe me about Harry if you don’t want but believe this, Steven? He’s not a good guy.” You said and she looked up at you again fully offended.

“Y/N, look-”

“No, listen to me. I just need you t-to hear me out. Last night he…h-he grabbed me really hard by the throat and made me swear I would never talk to or see Harry again. He terrified me.” You confessed and her eyes didn’t even soften up, “I came t-to ask if maybe I’d struck a nerve by mistake, looking to justify how he behaved towards me but the fact that he got to you first and lied about what happened…that just confirmed to me that I want nothing to do with him. He’s a ticking time bomb and I refuse to be collateral damage.” You said as you stood from your seat.

“How dare you.” She said and stood as well and you shook your head. “You can’t just go around throwing accusations about someone like that! Especially about this sort of thing! It could ruin him, Y/N!” She said with a quiet and calculated rage.

“Believe what you want, but I want nothing to do with either of you ever again.” You said to her and walked off. When you sat in your car you were trembling with rage, you could not believe the last 24 hours of your life. You were just collecting yourself before taking off, you didn’t want to get on the road with that much anger flowing through your veins. You jumped in surprise when your phone started ringing loudly from your purse and you groaned and reached for it and when you saw Harry’s name on the screen you just felt a wave of comfort and then it turned into fear. You knew Steven wasn’t here but you couldn’t help but glance around your immediate surroundings before answering the call.

“Hello?” You spoke into the receiver tentatively.

“Y/N, I ummm, I need you to come down to my hotel right away if you can.” He said to you and you felt your stomach drop.

“W-why?” You asked him nervously.

“Your boyfriend broke into my suite and tried to attack me.” He said and you gasped. “Are you alright?” You asked instantly.

“Yeah, thankfully. But now h-he’s telling the officers that you put him up to this.” He said lowly, “Just come and we’ll sort this out.” He assured.

“Okay, I’ll be there soon.” You said and took off despite your heightened emotions.

Just before you arrived to Harry’s suite you saw a pair of officers guide Steven away down the hall in hand cuffs. He had a bandage over his nose and a busted lip. He barely held eye contact with you as they pulled him along. You rushed down the hall and hurried into the open suite more than relieved to see a paramedic only icing Harry’s hand while he talked to one of the officers looming over him.

“Oh my god, I’m glad you’re okay!” You exclaimed in relief and he stood right away and hugged you tight as you leaned into him and that’s when all of your emotions from even the night before caught up with you and you started to cry.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s alright. I’m alright.” He assured you lowly.

“Yeah, but sometimes you minimize things to not worry anyone so…” you reminded and he chuckled a little as you pulled back, “I’m so sorry about this, H. Sincerely. Genuinely! I-I can’t believe he went as far as pulling something like this.” You expressed, still quite flabbergasted at what had gone down. Harry rubbed over your back in comforting circles.

“It’s alright. I’m alright.” He assured you, “He’s worse off than I am.” He smirked a bit as he delivered this news.

“Oh, I saw.” You chuckled through your tears and he hummed. “You’re not gonna get into any trouble, are you?” You asked.

“No, love.” He assured you, “I acted in self-defense so we’re all clear there. He did give me a good scare though.” He said more seriously and you sighed.

“This never should have happened…I just don’t get it where this came from? I swear, this is not at all like him! I’ve never seen him behave this way in the couple months we’ve been seeing each other. Even last night was just so out of character for how he’s always been towards me! And I’m not trying to make excuses for him. Clearly this is fucked-”

“Wait. What happened last night?” Harry asked you more seriously and you sighed and shook your head.

“Nothing, really.” You said to him and he gave you a look, not a scary one, just an insistent one. You sighed and shrugged, “Last night when I…when I told him we met up to talk and get closure he got really angry at me. Like, he was livid. It was truly an overreaction to me mentioning that I was really happy over having received that apology from you but that I felt like I had been awkward about it and left it weird with us.” You explained, “Then, he asked why I didn’t ask for permission t-to talk to you or see you or why I didn’t ask him to come with me? And I explained that I agreed to meet with you so that we could clear the air so that I could move on with him in peace and he accused me of fooling around with you.” You explained monotonously as you felt like you were there all over again, “I assured him we just talked and he then pretended like it was fine and apologized half-heartedly… and I went in to hug him but then it’s like a switch flipped.” You recounted what had happened, “I thought he was going t-to kiss me but he…” your voice faded out into an exhale, “H-he grabbed me so hard by the throat and made me swear that I wouldn’t see o-or talk to you ever again-”

“Miss?” One of the officers interrupted and you turned towards the officer as Harry released you just a bit.

“Yes?” You asked softly.

“Can you elaborate more on this altercation?” He asked and you swallowed thickly.

“I don’t want to get anyone in trouble.” You said softly, eyes now laser focused on Harry’s dangling pendant as your vision started to blur with more building tears. You were scared more than worried about getting Steven into any more trouble and Harry could see that. “Love, look at me.” Harry insisted and you blinked rapidly as one of your tears trickled down your cheek before you looked up at him, “If he did anything to scare you, you need to report it.” He said, “He’s fucked as it is for this, he can’t do anything to you ever again. He won’t.” Harry assured you and you nodded.

You proceeded to explain what had happened and how he had grabbed you. You explained that you felt intimidated and frozen and unsure of what to do next after the altercation. You were asked why you didn’t call the police or make a report and you explained that you didn’t think there was anything to report. He hadn’t technically hit you or injured you. You had no visible marks on you or anything to prove this apart from the fear you’d been harboring ever since. But the officer informed you that even a forceful grab is considered assault in the sate of California. And that speaking to you that way, exerting any tactics to make you feel subdued or intimidated were also considered acts of aggression and intimidation that were reportable offenses. And after a few more questions and you assuring them that he had never done anything like this to you before they moved back to the situation with Harry. With police reports filed they went on their way and you offered to get Harry a new place to spend the rest of his trip.

**************

It was just a few hours later and you were sitting in your living room waiting for Harry to come out of the shower and for his lawyer to arrive. You felt awful for this whole thing with Steven, you really had no idea he was a psycho like this. Marie had actually tried calling you almost 20 times and had sent you about 15 texts asking you to call back and that she was sorry for not believing you earlier. You were still too angry at her to respond so you put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” and just focused on the TV and wondered if it was a good idea to have brought Harry to your home. You had found another place for him to stay but before you booked it he asked if it would be alright to use your guest room because he was concerned for your safety since Steven knew where you lived.

His concerns were valid. And you knew that Steven was well connected and had several lawyer friends who you were sure could get him out on bail by the morning, so you agreed to let him stay. You just didn’t want to also put Harry in harm’s way again. You would never forgive yourself if Steven did anything to hurt him. All in all, none of this felt real, you felt like you were in an unhinged daytime soap episode just waiting for another tragedy to befall you and those in your life. You were so on edge that you flinched in fright when the doorbell rang. Once the shiver passed through your body you hurried over to see through the peephole and saw Harry’s lawyer waiting there.

“Hi Darius.” You greeted him with a smile and he smiled back upon seeing you as well. It’d been quite a while.

“Y/N! Wow!” He chuckled, “It’s so great to see you!” He greeted you happily as you led him inside.

“Likewise! I think Harry’s just finishing up his shower, he had quite the day.” You said as you locked up behind him and he sighed.

“Yeah. I’m so sorry to hear about that. But I’m glad he’s safe and that you’re also safe.” He assured you and you thanked him before guiding him over to the kitchen and allowing him to get set up while you went to grab the Coca-cola he’d requested.

It was just a couple of minutes before Harry joined you two and caught up a bit with Darius before he got into the story of what happened. Harry was going to follow through on pressing charges and he was even more motivated to get it all done ASAP when he heard what Steven had done to you the night before. He wanted to give Darius his statement as well while it was fresh in his memory so that it matched up perfectly to what he’d told the police and so he started answering the questions while Darius recorded and took notes as well. But hearing it in detail for yourself made it all the more sinister for you. You weren’t even thinking about it all that deeply when you reached for Harry’s hand under the table and he paused and briefly looked at you.

“Sorry.” You mouthed and started to pull it away from him but he instead tangled your fingers together and kept talking.

You stayed at his side for the rest of the time until Darius left, assuring you both that he’d let you know as soon as any headway was made in this case. With a final farewell you were locking up behind him as Harry waited for you just a small distance away. You sighed and turned to him.

“I’m so, so sorry about this, Harry. If I had know that he would do something like this… I mean, I just shouldn’t have said anything to him about you or-”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. How were you supposed to know, love?” He asked as he grabbed your face gently, right under your jaw and you swallowed thickly and he quickly slid his hands down to your shoulders. “Shit, I’m sorry. I forgot.” He said and you shook your head.

“It’s alright. It’s still fresh.” You reminded and he sighed and shook his head.

“I’m sorry…if I had just come back to you when I was supposed to we wouldn’t be in this mess.” He said and you sighed.

“You weren’t happy though, I mean…you preferred to be alone all this time instead of back with me so…it was the right thing for you at the time.” You said to him.

“You forgive me though, right? For not…” he trailed off and you nodded.

“Yeah, H.” You assured him and he pecked your lips quickly.

“Thank you.” He said quietly.

“Of course.” You whispered back. Your lips still tingling from his quick kiss.

“Sorry, I just needed to kiss you.” He said and you smiled slightly.

“I get it.” You assured him. “D-do you want to…sleep with me?” You asked with a little bit of hesitation.

“Yeah, love.” He said without a hint of a doubt, “Of course. I’m a bit shaken up myself.” He said and you nodded.

“C’mon then.” You said and grabbed his hand and guided him to your bedroom. You guys washed up and then cuddled into your bed.

You faced each other silently, just looking at each other, taking each other in. You were telling each other you had missed each other with your shared, longing gaze, but you refused to touch. You both loved the static and electric feeling buzzing between your bodies far too much. It was masochism in its purest form. It hurt to be apart, you missed his vibe. His energy. His presence…Harry was a warm, little ball of light, even on his dark days. He was the kindest, most thoughtful person you’d been is fortunate to encounter. He was so hard on himself also, and you knew he was angry at himself right now. You didn’t want him to be though, you wanted him to be here with you and enjoying this reunion, however unfortunate the situation was that led to it.

The amount of love you felt for him was impossible. As you laid in silence you smiled because you had truly missed the sound of his breathing. You inhaled his exhales, feeling more than grateful to be within his reach. You wanted to feel him on you, skin to skin. You shivered as you felt this intense love just surge through you.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” You said softly and sincerely. His eyes glanced down, averting from your gaze as he smiled in disbelief. “I mean it.”

“Even after all this time?” He asked, “After everything I’ve done?”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t hurt by you.” You smiled and he chuckled, “But yeah, I still love you despite those things.”

“Enough to give me another chance?” He asked.

“I…I mean, yeah.” You chuckled nervously. “And I don’t know i-if I’m a complete fool for that?! But I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, baby. More so lately…” he said and you hummed.

“Why’s that?” You asked.

“Umm…I was cleaning out your side of things. Like to send ‘em back to you and I just…I found this little box in the corner on your side of the closet-”

“The memory box!” You exclaimed, remembering its existence.

“Yeah…I just got to see all of the wonderful things we’ve shared together. How you’ve been there for absolutely everything. You’ve never let me down.” He said softly, “And I just…felt like a total fool for dismissing that. Nothing feels the same without you, you’re the thing that just…tied everything together, you know? You made my heart feel…whole.” He explained, “When I say that I miss you that’s what I mean. I’ve been incomplete without you around, Y/N. I’ve been missing you from everything. I’m so sorry that I waited until I almost lost you to reach out to you…” he whispered with shame. You frowned and reached for his cheek

“Everything happens for a reason, honey.” You whispered, “I mean, I’m glad you came along at this time because you saved me from a potentially dangerous situation.” You said more solemnly.

“I’m glad I was here for this. May-maybe this is a…sign of sorts for you to come back home with me.” He said a bit carefully.

Harry was nervous to bring this up to you but he really just didn’t want you staying anywhere near this man. He wanted to be certain that he could keep you safe, that he could protect you and ensure that you were never so easily in harm’s way again. And on top of that, his love for you continued simmering lowly in the background, it had never gone out. He just fled out of fear and he regretted it so much. He had been selfish and didn’t realize it until far too late. It filled him with gratitude that you’d even hear him out for an apology, let alone give him another chance. A chance that he may have blown with this suggestion he’d just put out there.

“Ummm…I…I’m not sure w-what to say to that.” You responded honestly, “Like, my first instinct is to say yes.” You chuckled nervously and while he was relieved to hear that, he held off his excitement to hear what would come next, “But like you’ve acknowledged a couple times already, we’ve been apart for a while and I think we both hurt each other to some extent and I worry that…in jumping right back into where we left things off that we’ll forget about all of the issues that led to us breaking down instead of working through them.” You said and he hummed.

“Yeah, that’s extremely valid.” He responded, “And I guess I want this right now mainly because I don’t want you here all alone.” He explained, “I realize we have things to work through before we can get to where we were before all this. And I’m so willing to put in the work with you to get to that stage again. But right now I just want to ensure that you’re safe and far away from that prick, Steven. That’s my main concern as of now, baby.”

“Well thank you for worrying about me. I would love to leave with you but I don’t think it’d be a smart move.” You sighed.

“Even just for a few weeks until things cool off a bit? I can set you up somewhere else even.” He said and you bit your lip pensively.

“I’ll think about it.” You responded.

“Okay, that’s…that’s enough for me.” He whispered back.

***********************

It was a couple weeks later when Steven finally showed up at your place. Obviously you had the locks changed, so his key didn’t work, which really angered him. And when you heard him shouting at you and pounding on the door, threatening to break in if you didn’t allow him in, you immediately called the cops as you had a restraining order filed against him. You also recorded everything this time as you tried to calmly coax him into leaving before they showed up. He was angry that Harry was pressing charges against him and he wanted you to talk him out of it. You knew better than to say anything about Harry’s case, so instead you asked Steven how he even got access to Harry’s location. Up until this point it was all speculation, you just assumed he grabbed the information off of your phone, that really was the only way. But there was no proof yet that this was a premeditated aggression on Steven’s end. So when he confessed to you that he searched for the information on your phone you were relieved and would submit that as further evidence to get a more strict order against him.

He refused to leave and the longer you didn’t let him in the angrier he got and even broke a window. Thankfully, the police were just arriving when this happened and they submitted an Emergency Protective Order, this was far more strict than the restraining order but that was really all they could do. You really didn’t feel safe anymore so the next morning you contacted your landlord and explained to her what had happened and let her know that you’d have to terminate your lease early for your safety. She was kind and didn’t make you pay the extra fee or even make you finish out a whole month, she just hoped you’d fine somewhere else soon.

You contacted Harry and of course, he said you could stay with him for a little bit. You felt stupid for not just doing that to begin with like he had suggested. But the reality was that he had also hurt you and let you down and you were worried about what moving in together again so soon would do to impact your future. But for the time being this felt like the safest choice. Steven knew your friends and co-workers in the area thanks to Marie, so there was no one you could go to in LA that you felt he wouldn’t think of. It pained you to quit your job and pack up your life and go, but you needed to. Of course, Harry welcomed you with open arms and you were grateful to know that you were a whole continent and ocean away from LA right now.

*****************

It had been three weeks of you living with Harry and things had been going well so far. You felt drained though, like completely fatigued from everything, you often felt this way when you were anxious or depressed so you prioritized reconnecting with your therapist from before right away. You were seeing her every week so far and were eager to see and feel the results of doing this deep and healing work after what had happened to you and Harry in LA. You also reconnected with a few friends and they were helping you network a bit to find a job. Harry assured you that he was more than capable to take care of you but you didn’t feel comfortable with that, especially since your romantic future together was still a bit up in the air.

You two were doing well, you were reconnecting as friends more than anything right now. Living with him was comfortable though, you had lived together before though, so you knew how to exist in the same space together. You soon noticed that just being in a situation that was familiar to you both was making you both more affectionate towards each other though, which you both had been working hard to keep at bay. Of course, the feelings were there, but having those little things that reminded you, you weren’t alone made you smile, like now…

“Baby, I’m home! Are you here?” Harry called as he came into the house.

“Yeah, I’m in the laundry room!” You called back over the rumble of the washing machine as you folded your laundry. Moments later he was coming into the small, warm room with a smile on his face.

“Hi, love! How was it today?” He asked as he came up to you and hugged you.

“It was good. I met with Poppy and her friend, Sheila, she’s the one who just started up her own tanner line or something and needs an accountant? She’s interested, so I’m meeting with her and her partner again her next week when she’s back from her vacation to see about the position.” You shared.

“That’s really good. Hopefully it pans out.”

“I hope so too.” You said as you dropped the t-shirt you were working on in the basket with folded laundry so that you could interlace your fingers as you clung to him.

“And like I said before though, no rush, okay? You’re doing plenty to help out here. And after everything else you’ve been through, taking it slow can’t hurt.” He added.

“Thank you. I really do appreciate that, H.” You smiled.

“Of course, love.” He hummed. You pulled back slowly and looked into each other’s eyes. “I’m really happy you’re here.” He reassured you.

“Thank you, baby.” You whispered.

“Baby?” He asked with a grin and you rolled your eyes and sighed.

“Well, I mean…you call me that, so…”

“It feels right, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You agreed with a smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whispered with a smile. He tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed your cheek.

“Can I kiss your for real?” He asked you quietly and you just nodded. Moments later your lips met in a tentative kiss. There was a little bit of hesitation at first but seconds later you were kissing with more depth. Your hands held his as he cupped your face tenderly as you continued to kiss. You’d kissed very quickly a handful of times since your arrival but nothing like this where you could feel yourself getting all hot and bothered by it.

“Baby…” you mumbled into the kiss.

“Right…sorry.” He hummed and let you go breaking the kiss abruptly and you chuckled as you blindly reached down your leg and finally grabbed the dryer sheet that was half hanging out of the dryer and tickling your leg. You crumbled it up and tossed it in the garbage bin just a few feel away from you before turning back and looking up to him.

“You can continue now.” You said with a small smile and he grinned before picking you up and setting you on the dryer as your mouths met with more urgency. Your kiss and need started to grow and grow and boil over very quickly.

It really wasn’t planned when he carried you to his room and got you undressed. Even though you’d yet to resolve everything from before, you didn’t feel worried or wrong about this. You felt comfortable and beautiful as you felt his bare skin against your own. You were eagerly awaiting it as he kissed down your body and made you feel so good along the way. He wasted no time in getting down and going down on you, showing you just how much he had missed you. He savored you and gave you his best until you were starting to lose your grip on reality.

“Oh fuck, I missed you…” you giggled through a moan as his tongue did it’s wonderful work between your legs. You were tingling all over as he flicked over your clit until you were trembling and then he started to suck, “Oh my god!” You gasped as your eyes started to roll back. “I’m getting so close!” You warned.

Your lips parted and you started to pant when he started to work two fingers into you. Your breath hitched when he curved them up into your g-spot. You felt your body melt into the bed for a second before he started to fuck into you harden until you were so tense your legs trembled as you started to come. The soft moans flowing from your lips were egging Harry on, making him even more hungry for you. You pulled him back up to you and your lips met eagerly as you reached for the button of his jeans.

“Want ‘em off?” He asked and you nodded, “Sure, baby?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, baby. I want you. I need you.” You whispered and he smiled before kissing your lips quickly before pulling back a bit.

“I just…I need you to know that if we do this I want us t-to be the thing that means we’re going to try again.” He said and your gaze softened, “Obviously, I’ve missed your body and having you like this, but this is more than that to me. I want it to be more than that.” He said and you nodded.

“I do too, baby. I want to try again. I really do.” You said to him with welled up eyes and he smiled and kissed you slowly again.

“You are everything to me.” He mumbled as you helped get his pants off blindly as he tugged the material down, “I’m never going to forget that again. I swear it, baby. You make me so fucking happy.” He panted as he toed off the pants before he climbed over you and pulled you up with him towards the the top of the bed. You climbed over his lap and kissed his passionately. Harry’s hands roamed your naked body with expertise. He knew the spots to touch and to pay mind to as you guys worked up to the love-making bit. You too appreciated his body. You touched and kissed over his body and took his length into your mouth, working him up just a bit more before you two had sex.

“Shit, baby…fuck that’s so good!” He groaned as you sunk down on him until you gagged around his tip. You weren’t as used to his size as you once were.

“Careful, baby. Go easy.” He reminded as he stroked over your cheek lovingly before running his thumb along your stretched out bottom lip. He loved seeing how you fit him in your hot little mouth. It had his abs clenching hard as you rolled and fondled his heavy balls in your hands until he was fighting the urge to start thrusting in your mouth. “Baby, please…please, I need you.” He panted and you popped off of him and glanced up at him.

“Can I get on?” You asked and he swallowed thickly.

“A-are you sure you want this?” He asked and you nodded.

“I do, H. I want this with you. I want everything with you. Everything that we had, I want it all back. I love you more than anything in the wor-” he cut you off with his kiss and laid you down. You were dying of impatience as hi heavy erection glided against your slicked up and swollen folds, you were so ready to have him back.

“I love you. I love you so much.” He whispered as he lined up to your entrance.

“I love you too. Please just…I need you.” You begged and so he pushed forward until he was sinking deep in your hot, wet little hole until he bottomed out.

You hissed as you adjusted back to his size, he was great about it, so patient and eager to get you going by rubbing over your clit until you were so wet you were sliding up and down his shaft. He watched you hungrily as you lifted your hips up and down to feel him moving inside of you. But it got to the point where he needed to take over and just get you both to come. His thrusts were deep and slow, he was bottoming out with each one, it was making your brain blank each and every time he sunk into the deepest part of you. Your body was tingling and your walls fluttering and pulsing around him with every movement. Everything felt so good with him. He was looking down at you with so much adoration it was making you even more emotional.

“Baby, baby don’t cry.” He chuckled as he kissed your forehead as a few tears streamed down your cheek.

“It just feels so…good.” You sniffled and he kissed you quickly, “It feels so good to be with you.” You hummed as you rolled your hips up against his and he moaned lowly and kissed you again.

“Yeah? Are you gonna come for me?” He asked and you nodded. “Good girl, let me know when you’re getting close.”

“I will.” You whined out as he delved deep and ground against you until your eyes squeezed shut, “Shit!” You gasped as he started thrusting a bit faster into that spot until you just felt yourself leaking around.

“Fuck…” he laughed, “Fuck, you’re so wet f’me, I-I’m getting close.” He panted and you whined and started to rub your clit to catch up to him.

In a few moments you were right there on the edge with him. Your back was arching as you moaned his name as your orgasm nearly took you out. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurring as you started to come around him. He started to thrust faster to get off, but he was drawing out your orgasm until you were trembling.

“Fuck…fuck, I’m coming!” He warned as he started to press himself up to pull out. “Oh fuuuuck…” he moaned as he started to stroke himself as he came all over your mound. He thrusted his sensitive cock through your folds, making a little mess of you before kissing you ardently. “I love you. Love you so fucking much.” He whispered, his voice cracked as he started to cry and you pulled him into your chest and held him tight as you both just let your raw emotions out in this moment.

You both needed it desperately. After he settled down he hurried to get something to clean you off and then you started to talk about you two. What you wanted, what you hoped to see in the future. You’d had these conversations before but even now the things that Harry was saying to you were complete different than before. Losing you seemed to be the thing that woke him up to how much he’d been taking you for granted. He’d gotten used to it, he’d gotten complacent at your expense.

“It’s going to be so different this time.” He said softly as he looked deep in your eyes, “I will be different this time.” He assured and you sighed.

“I believe you…there’s just a little part of me that is still not ready to let you back in.” You explained after he had explained how he was going to show up for you from now on, “I want to just trust you fully, but I’m afraid that you’ll make a fool of me again. That you’ll hurt me again.” You explained, “And I know y-you won’t but I just need to let you know that I’m still learning to trust you fully again.” You explained. “So please just…be a little patient with me.” You requested and he smiled.

“I know, baby. I will be patient with you and I will do everything I can to prove to you that I will never do anything to make you doubt choosing me again.” He said and kissed you slowly. You smiled into the kiss and let him pull you closer to him again and that’s how you fell asleep, nestled close together.

….. ONE MONTH LATER ….

In this short amount of time things had drastically shifted between you and Harry. You’d started to go on a date a week, doing thoughtful things for each other, sharing your feelings as they arose, communicated openly…he’d matured a lot in your time apart and helped you overcome your fears faster than you anticipated. You were so proud of him and it was spilling over into every moment. Like now, you were filled with a surge of love as you wandered into the kitchen to see him pulling out your favorite salad dressing from the fridge.

“Hiya, baby. What’re you up to?” You asked.

“Just making us your favorite salad for a light lunch.” He said.

“Wow, lunch already?” you asked and he smiled as you went over to him and hugged him from the back as you peeked over to his hands, eager to direct him on how much dressing he needed to add.

“Yeah, love!” He chuckled, “We had breakfast at 8! It’s already past 2pm.” He informed you and that surprised you. But you’d been so sucked into your work that it was very possible that you forgot to even feel hungry.

“Oh, I didn’t realize.” You explained and he frowned a bit.

“Baby, have you been feeling alright? It’s not just today, I’ve noticed that you haven’t had much of an appetite at all lately.” He pointed out and you frowned as you gave it some thought and realized that yeah, this was something you’d been feeling for at least two weeks. Maybe it was intense PMS? You hadn’t gotten your period since moving here, so you hoped it was just your body finally catching up with itself.

“You’re right…I mean, I have very visceral reactions to stress and big changes…I mean, my whole body and system have just been out of whack for a little but they’ll balance out again.” You assured him and he hummed.

“That’s true, it’s been hectic for you.” He said as he opened up the dressing bottle, “Honestly, I was thinking that-” he stopped as you gagged as the scent of the dressing wafting up towards you. You had to let him go and go hunch yourself over the sink as you felt the scent of the dressing just linger in your nose and mouth. “Baby…?” Harry came over and rubbed your back slowly, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…” you grimaced, “But I think the dressing is bad. Didn’t you smell that? It was rank!” You turned to him with a disgusted look on your face and he frowned.

“I didn’t smell anything. You look a bit awful now though. You’re all pale.” He said feeling your forehead and you exhaled slowly to ward off the nausea that you suddenly felt making your head spin.

“I might throw up, the dressing smells so bad.” You explained and he frowned and turned to the counter and brought it up to his nose and it smelled just fine to him. He even checked the bottle for the usage date and it was still good.

“This is fine…should I mix your salad with something else then?” He asked and you shook your head.

“I think I’m fine. I’ll just have some toast.” You said and he nodded. Eventually, you had to go back to your “office” and leave him hanging for lunch because you could not handle the look and scent of the salad, especially that dressing. By the time dinner rolled around you were still feeling a little off so you just had some veggies in a chicken broth and that was that.

*******************

You’d truly forgotten about your sensitive sense of smell until once again, you were assailed by an unbearable scent. Except this time it had happened at your friend, Poppy’s house. And this time you did actually get sick.

“God, I’m so sorry, P.” You apologized as you returned to her kitchen with embarrassment, “I swear its not your cooking, my nose has just been so sensitive lately and I get to grossed out by certain scents. I’m not sure what exactly yet though.” You explained to her.

“God, you sound like my sister when she got pregnant.” Poppy chuckled and you froze. That hadn’t even crossed your mind. Yeah, you’d missed your period for the last two months but literally everything impacted your period, your cycle was fickle, especially when you were under as much stress as you’d been. You weren’t surprised that it hadn’t come at all. Truly, this wasn’t new to you, especially when you were stressed out, regardless of whether or not you were on the pill (which you weren’t after moving back here, you’d run out the week before you came out). Then, you recalled that when you and Harry had sex the first time he hadn’t used a condom. Yeah, he’d pulled out but that was never a guarantee.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Poppy asked you with concern.

“I think I should probably take a test just to rule that out. I mean, it’s…very unlikely but I was a bit irresponsible a bit ago and just need some peace of mind.” You said.

“Okay, I have some in my bathroom, let me get you one.” She offered and you nodded so she hurried off to get it for you.

You were sure you were good, but you just needed to see it for yourself. There was absolutely no way you could be pregnant, you weren’t ready for that. Harry wasn’t ready for that. Like emotionally you guys were, but you had just rekindled your relationship, the last thing you needed was something this crazy to throw a wrench in things so quickly after you’d gotten back together.

“Alright, here you are, babe.” She said handing over the box as she came up to you again.

“Thanks.” You smiled nervously.

“W-would you mind if I did it here?” You asked her and she smiled and shook her head.

“Of course not.” She assured you and with that you were off to the bathroom again, sitting there, willing yourself to pee enough to saturate the stick and finally it came and you put the cap back on it and washed your hands before coming out. “I hate to be that person but what if you are pregnant?” She asked and you sighed.

“I have no idea…” you confessed through a nervous chuckle while you stared at the wall blankly, “I mean, H and I just…God, we’re just getting back into the groove of things. Throwing a baby into the mix at this time isn’t going to make anything easier. It’s just not what we need right now.” You explained to her.

“Yeah, I get that.” She chuckled, “Cam and I try and then we stop because of the same thing and like…ugh, it’s just a vicious cycle! And genuinely, if you have that many doubts it’s just that you’re not prepared for it, you know? That’s what I had to tell Cam after a few months.” She explained and you nodded in understanding. “I-if you are…what do you think Harry’d say?” She asked and you sighed.

“I have no fucking clue…” you admitted, “Obviously, before, we had said we wanted to have a family together. But again, that was before everything went to shit with us.” You sighed, “And like, we’re in such a good place right now…” you sighed, “Like I know he wouldn’t be a prick about it but we’re not quite ready for that yet.” You chuckled nervously and Poppy nodded in understanding.

“Well, don’t worry, you’ll see in a few minutes that everything is fine.” She smiled with encouragement.

You decided to believe her that everything was going to be fine. You were already booked for a full body, deep tissue massage next week with Poppy when your timer went off. You turned off the timer and then brought the test up closer and your heart stopped beating and you stopped breathing for what felt like an eternity. Staring right back at you, clear as day, were two little pink lines.

“Th-that means I’m…right?” You asked showing Poppy and she bit her lip nervously and nodded.

“Are you okay?” She asked you with concern and you just exhaled slowly. You were completely taken by surprise. Then you started to get worried.

“I ummm…I think I need to get home.” You said to her, still in shock. You swallowed thickly as you tried to imagine how Harry would react to the news that he would be a father.

“Do you want me to drive you over?” She offered, since you had walked from Harry’s to hers. It was just a 20 minute walk, you guys lived quite close.

“No, no, P, it’s alright. I think walking will be good for me, I need to…I need…” you trailed off as your eyes started to well up with tears as you started to imagine the worst case scenario.

“Hey…Hey, hey, hey, c’mere.” She said pulling you into her arms as you started to cry, “It’s going to be alright, babe. H is not gonna be angry, you know that.” She assured you as she rubbed comforting circles into your back as you held her tight. “You have options, yeah? You know that he’ll have your back no matter what.” She said and you nodded, “Let me get you home, yeah?”

“Okay.” You whispered to your best friend and she gave you one more squeeze before letting you go.

Once you got to your place she encouraged you to have a shower and that she’d get some tea going for you. You texted Harry that you needed him to come home as soon as possible, you didn’t want this solely on your chest for another minute. You took your time and when Harry started pulling into your driveway Poppy popped in and let you know before shouting a goodbye to you. You sighed and relished in the warm water for just another moment before turning off the water. You were soon reaching for your robe and slipping into it. You padded over to the mirror to wash your face and you bit your lip before untying the robe and looking over your body. You looked the same, you saw no evidence of a baby.

“Baby?” You heard Harry calling from downstairs. Soon, his footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and you quickly tied your robe up and got to lathering your face wash in your hands.

“In the bathroom!” You called back before rubbing it into your skin. He rushed into the bathroom and looked more than relieved to see you intact.

“Are you alright?” He asked and you sighed and quickly bent over to rinse your face. You then dabbed it dry as you reached for your toner.

“I think so…” you responded after a little bit, “I don’t know.” You sighed as you grabbed your moisturizer.

“Well what’s going on? Hmmm?” He asked you as he came over and kissed your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your middled and pulled you in closer and suddenly you had to throw up again. You gasped and wriggled out of his hold and turned around to face him. Your eyes started welling up with tears again and you were just building up the courage to say it. “Baby, you’re worrying me.” He said softly and you swallowed thickly.

“Ummm…I…I’m pregnant.” You said and his jaw slightly dropped. He let out a small and nervous laugh before he just pulled you back into his arms without a single word. You hugged him back and just held each other for a little bit.

“What do you want to do?” He finally asked you and you shook your head.

“I have no fucking clue…” you said and he let you go and hoisted you up onto the counter. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he held your thighs, “I mean, what do you think?” You asked and he sighed.

“I don’t fucking know…I mean, that’s gonna be our baby so I…like I’m inclined t-to give it a try. But at the same time I don’t know that our relationship is ready for something like this. I mean, I want this with you in a few years but we’re just getting started again.”

“I know…I don’t even know how this…like you pulled out.”

“I know, but it’s not always a guaranteed thing.” He said and you sighed.

“I should’ve said something then…” you shook your head as you rubbed your forehead with one of your hands.

“Hey, there’s no point for any would’ve-should’ve-s,” he said, “It’s gonna be alright. We’ll figure it out soon, okay?” You nodded, “Just take your time, baby. Whatever you decide, I have your back.” He assured you and you nodded. He grabbed your face and kissed your lips until you were smiling.

“Stoooop.” You giggled, “M’not in the mood.” You pouted through your smile and he smiled.

“I think you’re lying.” He hummed and you rolled your eyes. “Look, how about we get an appointment with the doctor and see how far along you are and maybe that’ll help us decide what we might want to do.” He said and you nodded.

“Yes, good thinking.” You smiled, “God, I was so scared to tell you.” You sighed and he tutted.

“What made you think to take a test?”

“I smelled something P was cooking and got sick.” You said, you felt tour cheeks growing hot in embarrassment. Harry chuckled and then furrowed his brows pensively.

“Didn’t you almost get sick at the salad dressing a bit ago?” He recalled and you chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s true…” you remembered, “I mean, I know I haven’t gotten my period but-”

“How was that not a sign?!” He chuckled in disbelief and you proceeded to explain how your period often skipped when you were under a lot of stress so this wasn’t an odd thing for you. But he was sweet, he was calm, but you could see the cogs just turning at full speed in his mind. You hoped he wasn’t angry at you, but you couldn’t help but think that he was and that he would run again. “I’m not angry, you know?” He mumbled softly and you glanced into his eyes and smiled a bit, “I can see it in your eyes, you know?” He whispered.

“You sure?”

“I am, baby. But I am…excited too…I mean, I don’t want to dwell on it too much incase we decide not to proceed with this but…I am. I mean, you’re the only person I want to have a life with. No matter how it happens, it’s you that I want to have babies with and raise them with and just share that experience with. So if you did want to continue with the pregnancy that would be good with me too.” He hummed.

“Okay. Thank you for your opinion.” You whispered before kissing his lips and hugging him tight against. You kissed at his neck as you just nestled yourself in the crook of it. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He smiled.

…. TWO DAYS LATER ….

You currently found your self peeing into a cup at the doctor’s office. You knew you were pregnant, but the doctor wanted to verify before they did an ultrasound to see where you were at. Once you finished you closed up the little jar and left it not he shelf as instructed. You washed your hands and then scurried across the hall and back into your room to see Harry intently reading the poster on the wall abut pregnancy.

“You know you get super horny during the second trimester.” He said in amusement, “As if you needed any more of that while pregnant…greedy.” He mumbled with a grin and you chuckled.

“You’re dumb.” You said as you went back over to the bench and sat again. You dangled your feet back and forth for a bit before Harry came over.

“What’re you thinking?”

“I’m thinking that…this is fucking insane.” You chuckled.

“In a good way?”

“Yeah…bad too.” You hummed and he nodded and leaned in to kiss your cheek.

“It’s going to be just fine, baby.” He assured you right as the doctor knocked at the door. “Come in!” Harry called and soon the woman was coming in.

“Hello, Y/N!” Dr. Sallow greeted you sweetly, “Glad you’re back!” She said with glee and you smiled.

“Thank you.” You replied, “And ummm, this is Harry, my…partner.” You said and she turned to him and smiled.

“Harry, wonderful to meet you.” She smiled and extended her hand and they shook them quickly before she walked over to the screen. “So, you’re here because you are pregnant.” She said and you nodded, “I can confirm that.” She smiled and Harry squeezed your knee when you inhaled sharply. It sort of felt official now. “So we can definitely do an ultrasound if you’d like, the room is available. Or did you have other questions?” she asked.

“Definitely an ultrasound. Want to know how far along I am and that sort of thing.”

“I’d assume fairly early if you’re just noticing any symptoms, so don’t be too disappointed if we don’t see much of anything just yet.” She forewarned and you both nodded. “Alright, I’m gonna have nurse Debbie set up the room and then she’ll escort you over and we’ll get a look at you.”

“Thank you.” You smiled and soon she excused herself before fluttering off to her next patient. You only waited a couple of minutes before nurse Debbie came to escort you to the ultrasound room and got you all set up. Harry was practically bouncing beside you with anxiety as he waited.

“Let me get the doctor.” Debbie said and hurried out. You glanced over to Harry.

“Hey, hold my hand.” You said and he dragged a chair over and interlocked your fingers. “I’m so excited to see.” You whispered and he grinned wide.

“Me too.” He confessed and you chuckled. “Maybe we…think a bit more about keeping it…” he suggested and you smiled a bit.

“Yeah? You mean it?” You asked softly and he nodded.

“I do, baby.” He smiled.

A few moments later Dr. Sallow was announcing herself again before coming in. She explained the procedure and then got the gel on you before grabbing the camera and gliding it over your tummy, looking for the best spot.

“Oh…there we are.” she hummed and Harry immediately shot upon seeing the image projected on the screen.

“Oh my god…” he whispered as he squeezed your hand tight and you smiled up at him quickly before you both glanced back over to the screen.

“So that there is the head and the arms and legs…” she pointed out and shifted the angle, “Do you want to know the sex?” She asked as she turned to you and you chuckled.

“That’s…ummm, isn’t it a bit early to know that?” You asked her and she shook her head.

“Not at all, we can tell as early as 10 week if the position is right.” She explained and you’re heart stopped.

“And I’m already 10 weeks along?” You asked shakily as the realization of what this meant started to settle in. You felt Harry starting to pull his hand away from yours.

“Oh no, you’re more like 14 weeks, dear.” She said and that’s when Harry completely pulled away from you and you felt the air completely leave your lungs. You turned to him and he just clenched his jaw as he ran his fingers through the top of his hair. “So do you want to know?” She asked and you were so frozen that you nodded quickly as your eyes teared up. “It’s a girl.” She said with a smiled and you just nodded.

“That’s…that’s so great.” You whispered and then brought a hand up over your mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound as started to cry. Dr. Sallow turned to you quickly with concern and then you felt Harry’s hand grab yours again. You turned towards him and saw he was crying too. “I’m sorry.” You whispered and he shook his head.

“We’ll talk about it.” He said to you softly and you nodded.

“Is everything alright?” Dr. Sallow asked and you sniffled.

“Sorry, yes. I just didn’t mean to say that.” You explained and she apologized but you assured her it was fine.

You just wanted to get out of there… you were mortified. This wasn’t Harry’s baby and now you really had no idea what to do. You always used condoms with Steven, but now that you knew he was psycho, you had no doubt that he was capable of sabotaging you like this. More than anything you were so hurt and angry that he had taken this from you and Harry. For a second you almost turned and asked for an appointment for an abortion but you glanced at the screen and you were flooded with guilt for even thinking that.

“Ummm, I’d like to leave.” You said as you started to sit up and Dr. Sallow was quick to clean you off. Harry helped you off of the reclining seat and you were back on the road not even ten minutes later.

You were just silent the whole way home, you felt like shit. You felt awful for getting Harry all excited only to know that this was not his child you were carrying. You were so confused right now, you almost wanted to pinch yourself and hope you woke up. You could feel Harry continuously glancing over at you but you couldn’t look at him. There was no way you could look at him after this. It was over between you two…there was no way you could ask him to stay with you after this. It wouldn’t be fair to him. When you got to the house you made it to the stairwell and plopped down as you started to sob violently.

You moved to the side when you saw Harry coming over, assuming he was just going to go up to the bedroom. But then he crouched down and sat a step above you and pulled you into him by the shoulders.

“It’s o-”

“Don’t say it’s okay.” You cut him off, “This is not okay.” You whispered sadly. “I hate Steven.” You seethed and he swallowed thickly as you started to sob and he pulled you closer and kissed the side of your head.

“I love you, okay? This doesn’t change that for me.” He said to you and you shook your head.

“I would never ask you or expect to stay. It’s not fair to you, Harry…” you said sadly, “I was about to tell Dr. Sallow that I wanted to abort but then I saw the screen again and I just…I don’t think I can do it. That’s like…a part of me too and I just…I don’t think I can go through with it.” You said again, sputtering on your tears. “If that means that we’re over, I get it. I totally understand it.” You sniffled.

Harry frowned deeply as he heard you say this. His heart was completely torn right now. He thought you were reacting this way because you were going to terminate the pregnancy upon finding out that it wasn’t your baby together. But hearing you say that you wouldn’t be able to do that, it made him so angry and so hurt. Despite his own feelings about this, he fully understood why changed your mind. After seeing the tiny little thing tucked inside of you his heart was in shambles too. He was fully ready to advocate for you guys keeping it, but hearing how far along you were, it completely shattered his heart. He felt physically ill as the moment replayed in his brain. You’d both slept with other people during your time apart, so he wasn’t angry at that, it was more that it was Steven’s. A man who had hurt you and disrespected you and that scared you. It made the hate he felt for him grow even more intense than it already was. He was livid, he could kill him for taking this from you two. Harry had to decide how he would proceed from here. You were fully prepared to leave him again in order to keep this baby and the thought of it put so much sorrow in his heart. He didn’t want to lose you.

The idea of leaving you and letting you do this all on your own made his sad. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved to have a good pregnancy, one that came with a supportive partner, someone to share the experience with. He wanted to be the person to be there for you but right now the thought of that little thing growing inside of you made his blood boil with hatred. He couldn’t think clearly in the slightest.

“I ummm…I love you so much, baby. I just, I think I need some time t-to process this and just think about it all.” He said to you and you nodded. “I love you though. You know that right?” He asked and you nodded again as he kissed the side of your head.

“Love you too.” You whispered and he hummed. “Should I go for a couple of days?” You asked quietly.

“No, baby.” He said quietly, “You stay here and rest up.” He hummed lowly, “I think I’m gonna go up north and just spend a few days with my mum, clear my head, if that’s alright?” He asked. You wanted to say no, the last thing you wanted right now was to be all alone with this information. But you had no choice but to agree, you had just put him in the most impossible position and he deserved to have the space to think about it as calmly and comfortably as possible.

“Yeah, sure.” You whispered.

“Can I tell my mum?” He asked and you sighed.

“Why the fuck not…” You chuckled through your tears and he pouted.

“Hey, look at me.” He insisted, “I won’t if you don’t want me to, baby. This is about you, about your body. If you want me to keep it to myself I will.” He assured.

“Sorry. I’m just afraid that it’ll change how she feels about me.” You explained nervously. You’d had a wonderful relationship with Anne. You missed her wisdom and kindness and friendship during your time apart from Harry and hearing that another man had impregnated you, her son’s girlfriend, well you’d understand if it upset her.

“No…I mean, things happen. Accidents happen.” He said and you shook your head.

“Baby, I-I don’t think this was accidental because we used a condom every single time. I’m certain of it!” You wept, “Like I’m not stupid, or careless like that.” You assured.

“You think he ruined the condoms?” He asked and you sighed as you recalled all of the overtly possessive things Steven had been saying to you during sex the last month or so that you had been together. Things about making you his forever, about giving him babies one day, making you a mom…you thought he was just introducing some of his preferences in bed with that kind of talk, but maybe it was more than that.

“It’s very possible.” You said softly.

“Jesus…” he shook his head, “How fucked up was this guy?” He asked you and you shrugged.

“I never saw that side of him before all of this.” You said and Harry sighed and nodded. After a moment of silence he cleared his throat.

“Ummm…I’m just gonna pack and head out soon, want to avoid that rush hour traffic near Birmingham.” He said and you nodded.

He stood up and then offered to help you stand as well before you guys went up to the room. You sat on the bed as you watched him pack a couple days worth of clothes. You wanted to ask him to stay, but you couldn’t be that selfish. This was the least you could do for him after that a-bomb was just dropped on him. Not to mention the a-bomb you’d just dumped on him too. When he finished packing up his bag he went over and kissed you quickly.

“I’m not running away from you, okay? I just need to clear my head.” He reassured you, his words were mumbled against your forehead before he kissed you there, “I love you so much.” He whispered before kissing your lips.

“Love you.” You mumbled, “Text when you get there, yeah?”

“I will, baby.” He assured.

“Be safe.”

“Always.” He hummed before he bid you farewell once more before he left.

Once you heard him pull out of the driveway you just curled up on your side and started to cry. This couldn’t be real…there was no way this could be real. You felt completely defeated. The only thing you could think that made you happy was that you never wanted Steven to know about this, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. You had no idea how that would go down with your child in the future, but right now you wanted him not to know a single thing about you ever again. After coming to that conclusion you ended up calling your mom and telling her everything that happened. You talked and cried for nearly an hour before she had to go, but not without promising she’d call again and chat the next day in order to keep you some company, even from afar.

After that you decided to draw yourself a warm and relaxing bath, that always made you feel so calm. So you started out on that, letting your bath bomb melt in the warm water as you made yourself a nice cup of tea, your last caffeinated one for the foreseeable future, and then got inside.

*****************

Harry had been driving up the M1 motorway for a bit before he quickly texted his mum his ETA. This caused her to call him right away and ask what this surprise visit was about, but he couldn’t speak when he answered her call. He just sobbed, he sobbed for nearly 15 minutes before he shared what had happened that morning at the doctor’s office. He explained everything he was feeling, even the bad things he was thinking, but the one thing that kept coming up was how much he loved you.

“I love her so much but I just don’t think I could get past the fact that, that prick is the baby’s dad…I cannot for the life of me sit with that information and not become enraged by it.” He said, it pained him to spare Steven a thought.

“D-do you feel angry at Y/N for being with him?” She asked and he frowned.

“No/ It’s not like I didn’t see other people but I hate that she thinks that I couldn’t be with her after this. Like, I think about letting her go, like she’s saying, and it absolutely guts me.” He explained. “And like…I feel bad that it crossed my mind at some point, but not for the reasons you might think, it’s just that I don’t know i-if I am even prepared to take that role on.” He sniffled.

“No one ever is, even when it’s meticulously planned, H.” She reasoned and he sighed,

“Are you concerned about him wanting to come back into her life?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yeah…a bit.” He admitted, “I mean, I don’t think he’s the type to take any accountability for his actions but if he finds out about it he’s so arrogant that he might want to just to make her uncomfortable. I mean, Y/N thinks it may have been deliberate because she said she always made sure t-to use protection. I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that, the man was completely mad.” He shared and his mum hummed in understanding.

“Well sweetheart, it doesn’t sound to me like you’re all that conflicted. It sounds to me like you don’t want to end things with her.”

“Of course not! But what if I…what I can’t love that baby as much since I now know this?” He asked.

“I-is that what’s holding you back?” She asked and he hummed on confirmation. He felt like a complete prick saying that but he was legitimately concerned about this. What if you went on to have your own kids together and it just changed something in him? What if he was open to being with you now but then changed his mind? What if he saw Steven every time he saw that baby and only felt anger instead of love? The chances of something like this happening were extremely low, practically non-existent, but not 0%. And in the end he would hurt you and that baby even more if he walked out because one of these things happened.

“You know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think you will love her just fine, H. You know why?” She asked and he hummed, “Because out of everyone in the world you know the impact that one incredible and dedicated man can have on a child.” She said and he sniffled, “You’ve seen for yourself that a biological connection is not needed to give someone unconditional love and support. You’re lucky, you got that from two fathers.” She said and he smiled.

“Yeah.” He whispered.

“I’m not saying that it won’t be scary and difficult at times t-to do this, but it can also be extremely beautiful and rewarding. You’re both such wonderful people that if you decided to stay and do this together you could impact that child’s life for the better, just like yours was.”

“Right…” he said softly

“And well, honestly sweetheart, these concerns you have, they’re things you need to figure out with Y/N. She will listen to you, H. I mean, if you’re feeling this conflicted about things I can’t image how she must be feeling now.” she said with sympathy and when he saw himself nearing Birmingham he felt awful. It got as bad as him feeling sick to his stomach as he pictured your fearful and distraught face back in the bedroom. He’d done it again, he’d left you hanging at a time when you needed his love and support the most. He loved you so much, he could not believe he’d left you alone in that state. And in two seconds he started to signal to get off of the motorway.

“Mum, I ummm…I need to go back and be with, Y/N.” He decided, “I shouldn’t have left here there by herself after everything she had to hear today…I’d be surprised if she was still there after I just walked out…fuck!” He groaned in frustration.

“H, she loves you so much.”

“I love her too…why do I keep doing the wrong thing and hurting her?” He cried now as he got off at the next exit. He was waiting for the traffic to clear before he could make his turn to turn around.

“I think it kind of scares you, how much you love her. And I think in a way you might feel like you could lose her, so you pull back regardless of how that might make her feel. It’s self preservation.” She explained and he swallowed thickly. Hearing this helped him mentally decide that he wasn’t going to run any more, after everything he’d done you’d given him another chance regardless of the possibility of him hurting you again. This was his chance to show you that his love for you was bigger than everything else. “Don’t be afraid to open your heart, sweetheart.” She added and he hummed.

“Alright, thank you for listening. I’m just gonna call Dr. A and ummm…hopefully sort some mental things out before I get back to Y/N.” He said.

“Okay, bub. Be safe, please let me know when you’re home safe. I love you.”

“Love you.” He mumbled before he hung up and got back onto the motorway but heading back towards the South. He wasn’t going to do the same thing again and leave all alone to guess just how much he loved you, not this time. He was going to be there for you and support you and love you both.

*****************

It was a bit odd to you when you heard the large gate to Harry’s house opening up. But then you recalled that sometimes his PA would do errands that required him to come to the house. So you just got out of the tub quickly and rinsed your body off in the shower before getting into your robe in case he came upstairs for any reason. You were just getting one of Harry’s hoodies when you heard his voice.

“Baby? Are you still here?” He called out as you heard the front door shut heavily against the frame. You hurried into the yoga pants you’d grabbed and rushed out to see him coming up the stairs.

“You came back.” You sighed in relief as he hurried up and he just pulled you right into his arms and you started to cry.

“I’m so sorry. I should never have left you like this, baby.” He sniffled as he kissed your head over and over again. “I love you so much. I love you so fucking much.” He assured you. “I’m not leaving you alone with this, baby.” He said to you and you pulled back a bit to look at him.

“What do you…mean by that?”

“It means that we’re doing this together.” He said to you and you shook your head.

“I can’t…I couldn’t do that to you.” You said to him and he shook his head.

“You’re not doing anything to me, baby. If you’re keeping this baby I am choosing to do this with you. I know it’s going to be hard but I will be there for you every step of the way and love our little babygirl with everything I am. I love you far too much to not see this through with you.” He said and you just broke down and hugged him tight.

You had no words, there was just joy. You knew this would be hard and challenging and even sad at times, but he’d come back to you and he wanted you to stay with him.

“I love you so much, H.” You finally whispered before kissing his lips.

“You’re everything to me, baby. We’re gonna get through this.” He smiled and you smiled.

“Promise?”

“I promise.” He smiled, “It was actually my mum who reminded me that biology had nothing to do with being a great father, so…she doesn’t hate you.” He said and you chuckled through your tears.

“Good, that would’ve definitely been the worst outcome.” You said jokingly and he smiled. “And look, I know that there are a lot of logistics and other things to discuss and I’m still sorting through that mentally, s-so if you can just be a little patient with me while I…get that together in my head I would really appreciate that. I’m still processing that there’s a little person forming in there and it’s kind of…freaky.” You said as you looked up into his eyes and he sputtered on a laugh. You frowned at his reaction, “What?”

“I thought you were going to say it was magical or amazing, not freaky.” He giggled and you did as well.

“Oh…well, I…I don’t feel…happy about it yet.” You confessed to him and this brought on a fresh wave of tears, “I feel like shit about that. Like I’m gonna be a mom, I should be happy, not freaked out, shouldn’t I?” You asked him.

“Not necessarily. You can feel however you want about it, baby.” He assured you, “Especially in this situation, it’s come as a surprise to you. I don’t judge you at all for not feeling happy about this yet, baby.”

“Promise?”

“I swear it.” He promised before pecking your lips again quickly.

“Thank you.” You whispered and he nodded and smile at you.

“Wanna do something to take your mind off of things for a bit?” He asked.

“Like what?”

“We can…sort through the pantry and fridge and see what foods you’ll have an aversion to?” He offered and you smiled and shook your head at his bizarre, yet completely productive suggestion. “I see you trying to hold back your smile.” He teased and you finally gave in.

“That’s the wildest but most genius thing you’ve ever suggested.” You giggled.

“I know. Imagine how smart our kid’s gonna be?! We’ve got this in the bag.” He said confidently.

“You think so?” You asked and he nodded.

“With you as her mum, I know so.” He smiled.

…. 1 YEAR LATER ….

You woke up feeling completely refreshed and renewed. It was absolutely quiet in the house and it was strange to wake up in silence. When you rolled over and looked at your phone you saw it was nearly 10am and shot out of bed. You had no idea how you’d slept in that much! The baby needed to be fed and changed! You hurried over to the nursery already thinking up an apology in your head for Ellie. But when you made it into the nursery it was empty. Harry had some work to do for Pleasing today so you knew he’d be out. Maybe he called someone to come look after the baby? When you passed by his home studio on the way to the kitchen you heard his voice along with others, so you knocked on the door.

“Come in!” He called quickly and you peeked inside and immediately smiled when you saw Harry spin around in the chair with Elara sitting on his lap, she was literally just chilling there while she drooled all over one of the newer nail polishes Pleasing would release soon. He smiled at you over the sounds of whoever was speaking right now. “Hey guys, are we good for today or is there anything else we needed to go over?” He asked with a smile as you waved from the background.

“We’re all good!” You heard and then heard the multiple voices bidding farewell to you and baby Elara before he hung up.

“You didn’t have to do that.” You said to him as you walked into the room to grab her from him.

“It’s alright, baby, we were just chatting a bit.” He assured you, “Weren’t we?” He asked the baby who just ignored him to keep attempting to bite the bottle in her hands before he started to rub at her back.

“I know you had work, you should’ve woken me up.” You said as you kissed his head.

“No way.” He chuckled, “You know, you slept through two whole alarms, you clearly needed the rest. I thought you were dead for second there.” He said with grin and you tutted.

“Don’t even say that.” You scolded.

“You’re right, sorry. Bad joke.” He corrected himself, “But really, my love, I don’t mind doing these launch plan meetings online, it’s none of the fun stuff so.” He shrugged and you smiled, “Besides when I have Ellie on camera everyone is so obsessed with her little smile that they’re so agreeable, so it’s a win-win.” He chuckled and you smirked.

“God forbid the paps see her and exploit her for money, but her own father is exploiting her cuteness for sway in the board room.” You said with a grin and he chuckled.

“Hey, she likes hearing all the commotion too.” He added and you smiled before kissing the top of her head and she sighed and laid over his chest making you both coo. “She finally slept through the night. Sorry you missed it.” He said softly and you chuckled.

“I’m sorry you’re so used to waking up to her crying that you noticed!” You giggled as you raked your fingers through his curls easily and he hummed.

“I don’t mind it. Reminds me that this little cutie is finally here.” He said and you smiled at how sweet he was with her.

“I can’t believe she’ll be six whole months tomorrow.” You said in disbelief.

“I know…S’your half birthday, bub.” He said to her and she just blinked tiredly, "She’s perfect though, isn’t she? Your little twin.” He hummed with pride as he looked down at her and then at you again. You nodded and watched him with her for a few moments.

Harry had nothing but love for baby Elara. He adored her completely. He almost felt silly for being so worried that he wouldn’t bond with her as genuinely as if she were his biological daughter. Once he saw you starting to show and you guys started shopping for the nursery, and picking out baby names, every ounce of doubt he had melted away. That was his daughter in every sense of the word. He had so much love for the both of you that he felt like his heart would burst sometimes.

“I love you so much.” You said to him and he glanced up at you.

“More than Ellie?” He smirked and you chuckled.

“The same, I think.” You hummed and he looked surprised.

“Oh wow, I was expecting a firm no.” He laughed.

“Oh my god…I love you both. It’s a bit different for sure but I somehow get it all to fit in my heart.” You said and he smiled as he stood up.

“Look at her, she’s about to pass out again.” He said as he looked down at the baby.

“I think we should get her back in the crib and have a cuddle. We can watch that show you’ve been pestering me about.” He suggested

“Love is Blind?” You gasped and he nodded.

Soon enough you had washed your face and brushed your teeth, as you did every morning, all while Harry got Ellie down. But he soon joined you in bed as you waited for him to return. He climbed into the bed beside you and like a magnet, you immediately scooted right up against him and kissed him gently, it caught him by surprise.

“Thank you for letting me sleep in, baby. That was exquisite.” You confessed and he smiled and pecked your lips again.

“Of course, baby. Anytime.” He smiled. “I do have a question for you though…when are we going to have another baby?” He asked you and you giggled.

“Ummm, ask me in a year!” You laughed.

“A year?” He scoffed.

“Hey, it’s hard work!” You added and he smiled.

“Yeah, but it’s so worth it, isn’t it?” He asked with a smile and you sighed happily at his response.

“Yeah…” you hummed, “It’s all worth it.” You smiled.

“Our little family makes me so happy, I just want one more.” He said and you glanced into his eyes.

“Just one more.” You agreed and he chuckled.

“Yeah, just one.” He assured you, “So in a year I’ll ask again, okay?”

“Okay.” You sniggered and kissed him quickly again before you got the show going.

You were explaining a little bit about why you were suddenly so interested in this show without trying to give away too much of what you knew had gone down, thanks to your friends and social media. He easily got sucked into the narrative and when you both started commenting as you watched on you just got so happy that you could share something so simple together and then also something as huge and serious as a baby. It made your tummy flutter and swirl with love for him and you then realized that maybe it would be less than a year before you’d be trying for another baby and you were perfectly alright with that.

---- TAG LIST ----

@sunshinemoonsposts @anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellite @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @reveriehs @ottawaoutlander @jessitpwk @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes @justlemmeadoreyou

These are the friends who liked the ask with the request for this piece:)

@harryssattelitestomper @vanillagirllll @thef0reverl0st @unknown7549 @liviingfxst @leantunes0309 @outofthisworl-d

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mythrilthread · 1 month

Text

My magnum opus, the jewel of my Binderary round-up, the result of four months of hard work (that is to say, a lot of force applied over distance), the project affectionately known as The Motherfuckers (because it was rather unclear if I was going to finish these books or if they were going to be the end of me).

Force over Distance by cleanwhiteroom. It is currently also on AO3.

I was first introduced to this incredible story by a dear friend, who first sold me on actually watching SGU, and then said that they remember this fic since like 2011, which is always a promising sign. I went digging and found out I was in luck - the story was being rewritten and reuploaded on the author's blog. The next two weeks are described by the same friend as "one of the scariest moments in our cohabitation" as I'd spent literally every waking moment injecting the story directly into my eyeballs, and let me tell you, I'd not been doing a lot of sleeping at that time.

Then I gathered up my courage and reached out to CWR re: my burning desire to bind this story. And the rest, well. Let's dig into it, shall we?

This was my first time typesetting 540k words. Considering I tend to prefer larger font sizes for increased legibility, it was immediately obvious that this was going to be a multivolume project. I settled on three, as it's the relationship between three individuals that forms the core of the story.

I also knew I wanted to keep the typeset in black and white, but play around with light and dark a lot. So I did. One of the first design idea I actually had was the way I wanted to handle projected speech. Mental link between Young, Rush and Destiny is THE most vital part of the story, and I wanted to make it immediatly obvious. I also wanted to be able to take one glance at the page and tell how much of the action is actually just two guys staring each other down :) Hence the blackout effect of thoughts being represented as light over darkness.

I also wanted to preserve as much of my reading experience as possible. So I saved all the chapter quotes/summaries in the TOC, and hid the chapter content warnings in the frame of the gate that marks the beginning of each chapter. For most of the chapter the warnings stay the same, so after a while you stop really noticing them, but then you open a new chapter and see that the familiar shape of the words has changed, and get this UH-OH feeling. Which, I think is very much how it works in my design, because when the warnings change there's usually another line of text added.

For flashbacks and dream sequences I switched from italics to a lighter shade of gray. I woudn't say it's more legible per say, but it's in keeping with the overall light/dark theme.

There are instances of people using handwritten notes in the story. I collected more than a dozen of assorted handwriting fonts, with each character having their own "handwriting". So when, for example, someone begins writing in someone else's hand, you immediately know it.

The most insane, labor-intensive part of the typeset, however, was the way I decided to handle the Ancient translations. CWR's gone through the trouble of setting up hover-to-discover for it, which gives you a very different reading experience than, say, having the translations in the endnotes. So, naturally, I said to myself that I want to replicate that, and footnotes just won't do the trick. So. Every instance of Ancient in the text has an underlay of light gray Ancient script. And an OVERLAY of paper vellum with the translation printed in blue. Now, not to toot my own horn too much, but if looks SICK AS FUCK. You also MAYBE SHOULD NOT LIVE LIKE THIS. For the two copies of this work I had to cut up 10 sheets of vellum into strips, and then spent from 20 minutes to an hour per volume tipping the strips in their proper places. I then had to wear kinetic tape on both my hands to help with the joint pain. (It was worth it.)

Now for the title spread. It is also paper vellum that you see as soon as you turn the first page (the half-title), and see it covering the title of the book and author's name. And then you turn it. And the shields sing the matter wave of Destiny through the black. And yeah, I think that's very, very clever of me, actually.

Then, of course, were the endpapers. All 12 of them are unique abstract paintings done on black cardstock by hand with brush pens and correction tape, I scanned a sample of each set for posterity. All of them are my interpretations of characters' midscapes. For volume 1 I went with the fire wind of Rush's thoughts. Volume 2 was for Young, and I went for the reverse blackout poetry effect (because for all the mental talking they do, the unprojected thoughts are opaque to their counterparts) and all the loops, hairpins and blocks he does. Volume 3 is for the combination - Rush's fire wind, changing its color to match the circuitry pattern of Destiny's AI.

The rest, in comparison, is easy. All volumes are stitched with 3 strands of embroidery floss, a combination of black, blue and silvery-gray. The French double-core endbands are sewn in the same color scheme (though with a different shade of blue and gray switched for white for added contrast). The edges are painted and splattered to look like space.

The covers feature my (signature at this point, I guess) half-cloth river pattern, with the base being dark blue linen and the printed parts being Spitzer telescope images of the W51 star forge, Jack-O'-Lantern Nebula and the Eagle Nebula (courtesy of NASA), waxed by hand for added sheen. The spines are foiled in silver with a foil quill.

Each set is 5 pound of solid hand-crafted book, with one set being my personal copy, and the other sent as a gift to the author.

And that's it, folks! This has been an incredible project to work on, and I'm very proud of what I achieved with it.

#mythril thread books #bookbinding #ficbinding #fanbinding #binderary2024 #stargate universe #sgu #force over distance #stargate

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jxckchxmpi0n · 1 year

Text

HEADCANNON DATES W/ JACK CHAMPION

I'm currently going crazy as I have three weeks until I graduate- anyways this is my little delu-lu moment where I break from reality and think about dating jack 🧎‍♀️

Did not proof read || m.list

Dating JACK CHAMPION is the most fun you'll ever have. There are so many little dates in there different towns he's filming in.

He'd take you to the zoo, the aquarium. "Baby, we have to see the otters!" He jumps around like a little kid.

There would be many dates at your shared apartment as well.

Building Legos. "Baby, look, I bought us a new Lego set. Wanna watch Marvel movies and build it?"

Or you would be studying for your college classes when he storms into your shared room. "Baby, do you wanna try making this tiktok pasta with me?"

Your favorite thing is making forts in the living room and gathering snacks around the TV and having a marathon.

"Jack, we should watch all the scram movies before we go to the premiere next weekend" you know for a fact that even if you watch them all tonight hell be watching them again throughout the week.

Sometimes, when you need to run errands, he'll join you just to be with you. "Hey baby, I have to go run out for a while. I should be back in a little"

He gives you puppy eyes as he pulls his headset off. "Can I go with?" Seeing him with his bed head and pj's makes you giggle. "Of course," he then jumps up and kisses you, running to take a super quick shower.

Waking up to the smell of breakfast filling your nose, the sun light filling the room.

Jack comes in with a tray of pancakes and fruit for both you and him. You then both cuddle in bed as your eat food.

When he's been gone for months for filming and you'll be on tikok while on the phone giggling. "Why are you giggling? I didn't even say anything. " You giggle more and just tell him to check his phone. He then sees three notifications from you and sees that you sent him edits of him. "Baby." His voice is a little high-pitched as he is very flattered.

You both decide to go out for lunch as it's a nice day, ditching the car and walking downtown to a small cafe. Holding hands and sharing airpods, there's no need to talk. Sometimes being with each other is all you need

FaceTime dates as he is in a different state filming. He doesn't care. Even if he's around people, he will show his love for you every second he gets. "Mason, look y/n, and I our on a date!" He flips the camera to Mason as their hair and makeup get touched up.

Excited about avatar coming out the idea of dressing up and hiding in a theater to see others' reactions.

Sitting next to a few pre teens and hearing their reactions warm both of your hearts. But also watching Jack as he gets into the movie himself as if he isn't in it.

You wanted to try something new, so you thought about making cookies. He would sit on the counter watching you with so much love in his eyes. "What?" You notice him looking at you getting insecure all of a sudden. He jumps off, his hand goes to your cheek, "You have flour on your face." You chuckled at his actions. "God, you are so pretty"

Face masks!!!! The best part is it's him trying to convince you. But you secretly act like you don't wanna do it, so it makes him wanna do it more. You both wear big headbands, and you sit on his lap as he paints it on your face. And vice-versa, his hands lay on your hips as he has his head tilted up looked at you through his lashes.

It's a sunny day, and you decide to clean the apartment playing music, and of course, Jack being himself, he ends up taking over the music playing different songs to dance to. Then you both end up dancing in the living room.

Jack has to give Butters a bath, and as much as he loved butters, it's a lot of work, so you join and end up joking, saying you guys are married and butter is your first born. Then, half way through washing butters, you have a fake fight, then die laughing on the bathroom floor.

#ethan landry #jack champion #scream vi #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry smut #ethan landry x reader #ghost face x reader #jack champion imagine #jack champion x reader #spider avatar #jack champion fanfic #jack champion fluff

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narumi-gens · 4 months

Text

The L Word

Miya Osamu x f!Reader

summary: Love makes people stupid. Osamu knows it firsthand.

warnings: minors/ageless/blank blogs dni, established relationship, love confessions, fluff with a teeny hint of angst, happy ending, small miscommunication bc Osamu is an idiot but it gets cleared up, Atsumu to the rescue, Osamu being the dumber Miya twin for a change, Osamu really goes through it in this fic but it's all okay bc you love him

notes: literally wrote this entire thing today bc Osamu just does something to me. this takes place earlier on in the Meet the Miyas couple's relationship and you don't have to read the other fics to get this one, but I sure would like you to.

words: 3.6k

part of the Meet the Miyas series

Osamu’s date with you was meant to be a quick dinner. If he was thinking more clearly, he wouldn’t have suggested seeing each other that night at all. It’s been a hectic week for the both of you and he knows that you have to catch an early morning train for a meeting out of town the next day.

But he can’t think clearly when it comes to you. Because he loves you. He doesn’t know when exactly it happened, but he knows it was probably after only a couple of dates, which he also knows is crazy.

Again, he can never think clearly when it comes to you.

It means that he’s spent the last few months in a love-induced haze of happiness as your budding relationship has progressed. It’s even been enough to dull the irritation he would normally feel at how smug Atsumu has been about being the one to set the two of you up in the first place.

Of course, none of that is on his mind now. The only thing he can currently think about is how much he doesn't want your evening together to end.

It’s a desire of his that you’re more than willing to indulge in as your time at the restaurant stretches on long past dessert. When he offers to walk you home even though you live in opposite directions, you don’t even bother to give a perfunctory protest. You merely nod with a wide grin, happily accepting the arm he wraps around your shoulders as you curl into his side.

And what began as a sweet kiss goodnight outside of your building is now bordering on something inappropriate for a public setting, even on an empty street.

Your soft lips move against his and his tongue slips into your mouth to taste you. One of your hands rests against his neck, while the other runs through his hair, making him shiver at the sensation of your fingernails gently running against his scalp. Both of his are tightly holding onto your waist, holding you as close as he possibly can so that the only thing separating you two is the clothing you both are wearing.

“Come upstairs,” you breathe as he begins to trail his lips from yours to the spot just below your ear that always has your knees feeling weak whenever he lavishes it with attention.

Unfortunately, Osamu has just enough of his sanity left to know what the responsible choice is.

“Ya need to sleep,” he murmurs against your skin before pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your neck that makes you sharply inhale. “Yer meeting tomorrow is important. Gotta be well rested.”

“So thoughtful,” you tease as you guide his lips back to yours to give him another heated kiss, only to pause for air a moment later. “I promise. No funny business. We can just sleep.”

He can’t hold back his snort at your suggestion or his laugh when you pout at his reaction. He rests his forehead against yours, looking at you with a fond smile on his shining and slightly swollen lips.

“We never ‘just sleep’ when I come up,” he reminds you and your pout deepens.

“But I don’t want to say goodbye yet,” you tell him, and damn if his heart doesn’t ache with how full of love it is for you.

“Okay. We don’t have to say goodbye,” he agrees and your expression lights up. However, it falls as he continues to speak. “We’ll just say goodnight instead.”

“Osamu,” you whine and he presses a soft kiss to your lips before you can say anything else.

“Goodnight,” he says.

When you open your mouth again, he gives you another smiling kiss.

“Goodnight.”

You open your mouth again, a smile of your own tugging at your lips, which he kisses again.

He loves you.

“Goodnight.”

You playfully open your mouth as you pretend to say something. He kisses you.

He loves you.

“Goodnight.”

Another attempt on your part to protest. Another kiss to silence you.

He loves you.

“Goodnight.”

Your mouth opens. He gives you a kiss.

He loves you.

“I love you.”

He freezes, but not because he’s accidentally spoken the words that have been on his mind these past months.

It’s because the words don’t come out in his voice. They come out in yours.

His eyes snap open to find you gazing up at him with a small hint of nervousness, but otherwise nothing but pure affection and fondness and love. It’s everything he’s been dreaming of — literally. He has literally been dreaming about this exact scenario.

But in his dreams, he gently murmurs that he loves you in return and softly runs his thumb along the apple of your cheek. The two of you then kiss beneath the first soft snowflakes of winter or the floating spring cherry blossoms or a drizzle of summer rain.

Reality is much worse. Because in his shock and disbelief, all he can do is open and close his mouth, struggling to put all of his joy and excitement and love in return into words. And the longer the silence stretches on, the touch of hesitation that was initially present on your face slowly begins to morph into sheer horror.

Your embarrassment is visible at his lack of a response and when you force out a small, self-conscious laugh, he knows that you’re regretting ever speaking those three beautiful words aloud.

“Sorry,” you wince and a cold shard of ice pierces his heart.

No, no, no. Don’t apologize. Never apologize. Not for loving him. Not when he loves you, too.

You clumsily try to extricate yourself from his hold and he’s too wrapped up in his own mortification over how stupid he is that he easily lets you.

“I don’t…s-sorry!”

Your voice breaks as you stumble over your unnecessary apology and even while you refuse to meet his gaze, he can see how quickly your eyelashes are fluttering as you try to blink back the tears that he’s caused.

“Night, Osamu,” you manage to say through a soft sniffle before hurrying towards the steps of your building.

The only thing worse than the panic and anger that he’s feeling towards himself is whatever it is that you’re feeling. You opened yourself up to him, allowing yourself to be vulnerable and trusting that he would keep your heart safe.

And he was too much of an idiot to be able to offer his own heart in return.

He just needs to get the words out. Just get the words out.

Just get the fuckin’ words out, ya big fuckin’ pussy.

Relief floods through his veins when he’s finally able to blurt your name as he calls after you. He can fix this. He can tell you that he loves you and that he was just so elated that he was physically incapable of putting any words together.

You stop, your foot on the bottom step as you turn towards him. While your eyes are shining with tears, he can also the hope in them as you silently plead with him to continue.

A deep breath releases from his lungs. He hasn’t ruined it yet. You’re willing to listen to him. You’ll give him a chance to make things right and prove to you that he deserves you. He’s so fucking grateful to you.

“Thank you!”

He wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Maybe a car will pass by and run him over. Could he be lucky enough for a freak thunderstorm and to be struck by lightning? When nothing happens, he contemplates dropping to his knees and banging his head repeatedly against the concrete sidewalk.

All of it would feel better than watching how quickly he’s shattered the last remaining pieces of hope that you were desperately clinging onto. You stay still just long enough for him to see your lower lip tremble before you dart up the stairs of your building.

And because of how the stupid apartment buildings in this country are designed, he gets a perfect view of you racing up the exterior staircase and then towards your apartment, pausing only to unlock the door, which then slams loudly shut behind you. The sound echoes through the quiet street, reverberating against the pavement and buildings, but also in his mind.

Osamu takes a slow, deep breath and holds it before exhaling. He then buries his face his hands, his fingers tugging at his hair, and lets out an unintelligible scream that’s filled with a nauseating mixture of frustration and embarrassment. The noise is louder than the slamming of your door and a dog starts to bark in the distance.

In a daze, he somehow manages to make it to his bus stop. Likewise, his phone is now somehow held up against his ear. And somehow, Atsumu’s screeching voice answers on the other end.

“Thank you?” he greets angrily and Osamu loudly groans as he slumps forward so far that his head is practically between his knees. “My best friend, the woman yer totally in love with, says she loves ya and all ya can do is thank her?”

“I was just so excited, I couldn’t think straight. I’m a fuckin’ idiot. I know, okay?” he mumbles. He hears a bus pull up to the curb but he’s too distraught to even look up and see if it’s his as he lets it pass. “She already told ya?”

“She’s on the other fuckin’ line right now, crying because of you, ya scrub,” Atsumu bites back and somehow, after everything that’s happened in the past ten minutes, Osamu manages to feel even worse.

There’s a long pause and his guilt and mortification must be so bad that his brother can hear it through the phone because Atsumu gives a sigh of pity.

“Look, just make it right. We share the same DNA. Ya must have gotten a little bit of my ability to be romantic.”

In any other situation, Osamu would scoff and roll his eyes. But right now, he doesn’t have the right to make fun of anyone, not even his twin. Instead, he simply nods even though Atsumu can’t see it over the call.

“Can ya find out what time her train gets in tomorrow?” he asks pitifully.

“Okay, sure,” the setter offers before sighing again. “I gotta go.”

“Yeah, don’t keep her waitin’.”

He wonders if you know that it’s him Atsumu is talking to. You must. But Atsumu is a pretty good liar, much better than Osamu anyway. He’s had plenty of practice lying over every little thing under the sun since they were young. Surely, he can convince you that it was a teammate or his agent or anyone else but the man responsible for your distress.

“Same goes for you, Samu,” Atsumu warns him, but there’s at least a gentle undertone of sympathy in his voice that he probably only extends because they shared a womb.

“Thanks,” he says, feeling truly grateful to his brother in a way he hasn’t felt since he set the two of you up.

“I think ya said that enough tonight, ya scrub.” Atsumu then ends the call and Osamu’s gratitude dwindles.

But Atsumu does come through for him, texting him the information on your train, which Osamu reacts to with a mere thumbs up, knowing that any form of thanks will have him being called a scrub for the third time that night.

The next day, Osamu closes the shop early. It’s for the better as he keeps getting orders wrong and has to offer so many discounts in apology that if he stayed open any later, he would probably end the day at a loss.

His mind has been so preoccupied that there’s no room left in it for onigiri. All he’s been able to think about is his plan to make it up to you. He’ll go home and change into his nicest suit. He’ll go to the florist and buy the nicest bouquet they have. He’ll stop by the bakery near your apartment on the way and order a slice of your favorite cake.

And then you’ll come home to find him waiting for you outside of your building, where he’ll give you the speech he spent all day on. He’ll tell you how sorry he is and explain how much of an idiot he was and tell you that of course, he loves you. He’s even written down exactly what he wants to say on an order sheet from the restaurant so he doesn’t forget a word.

But apparently, the universe has decided that it wants to laugh even more at his expense.

Everything starts smoothly. Despite not having worn it in over a year, his suit fits as perfectly as it did when he bought it. And after a quick iron, it looks like he just picked it up from the dry cleaner. When he arrives at the flower shop, the kindly older woman working there helps him make a custom bouquet filled with flowers that all represent some form of love and apology.

It’s at the bakery where things start to go wrong.

First, it’s so late in the afternoon that the display window is picked clean over. Your favorite cake has sold out entirely and all that’s left are a variety of croissants, donuts, and croquettes. He stupidly decides to buy a donut anyway, because although the image of him giving you a donut is much less romantic, he’s always believed that food is the best way to show you care about someone.

Then, just as he’s finished paying and in his rush to make sure he gets to your apartment before you do, he runs right into a teenager holding a bright green melon soda, which spills all over the front of his clean, white dress shirt. The girl gasps in horror and immediately begins to apologize, repeatedly bowing as she offers him the napkins in her hand.

However, he knows it was his fault and that he can’t make another girl cry in less than 24 hours. He assures her that she wasn’t to blame and after patting his shirt dry to the best of his ability, he buys her a new drink and then helps the employee clean up the spill. He leaves the bakery with a squished donut and an obscenely green, large stain on his shirt.

And of course, he gets one block away from the bakery when it starts to rain. It’s not the soft, romantic drizzle that he’s imagined might color such an important moment in your relationship. It’s a true downpour that has people ducking into stores and under doorways. For just a moment, he considers stopping at a konbini and buying an umbrella but he’s already drenched and when he sees how long the line is, he decides that it wouldn’t be worth it if he has to miss you.

It’s another block away from the konbini that the bag holding the donut breaks, dropping the baked good into the gutter where it’s quickly washed away by the rainwater. As he looks at the soggy remains of the bag in his hand, he decides not to worry about it and shoves the mess into his pocket. The flowers are enough on his own.

The flowers, which he’s just now realizing aren’t in his hand and weren’t with him at the bakery. The flowers that he remembers setting down on the bench at the bus stop but doesn’t remember picking back up when he got onto the bus.

The voice in his head is frantic as it tries to assure him that everything is fine. If you really love him then you don’t need flowers or baked goods or him in a dry, unstained suit. You’ll love him just as he is when you find him waiting to greet you after a long day.

He’s thankful that the sound of rain falling is loud enough to mask the panicked, high-pitched whine he lets out when he turns the corner onto your block to find that you’ve beaten him to your place and are already standing on the bottom step of your building’s staircase, protected from the rain as you shake the worst of the water from your dripping umbrella.

There’s the smallest part of him that wants to just go back home and hide beneath the blankets like he used to do after losing a volleyball match.

But then, without his consent, your name leaves his lips and his feet begin moving on their own to meet you. You freeze mid-umbrella shake and look up at him in shock, clearly not having expected him, and definitely not in this state if the way your eyes widen is anything to go by.

Your senses come back to you quicker than his did to him last night and you open your umbrella back up and rush out to meet him, hurrying to finally protect him from the rain.

“Osamu, what are you doing? It’s pouring,” you say with a mixture of disbelief and confusion. You look him over from head to toe and frown. “Why are you so green? You look like you spilled a melon soda all over your shirt.”

It’s okay. He still has his speech. He’ll win you over with his words. Whether it was volleyball or opening his own restaurant, when has he ever given up?

Instead of answering you, he reaches into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulls out the order slip. He’s relieved that it’s held up better than the bakery bag and vows to keep buying order pads from the same supplier for the rest of his life.

At least until he unfolds the paper and finds that the ink he wrote in has run because of the rain that soaked through his jacket. His shoulders sag as he sighs in defeat.

“Osamu?” you ask with a timidness he hasn’t heard from you before and it’s enough to snap him from his own wallowing. His idiocy left you in tears last night.

The flowers, the suit, the pastry, the speech, this entire big, grand gesture he was trying to make all boil down to one thing.

“I love ya,” he says and it feels so good to finally be able to say the words aloud to you for the first time. It feels like a weight has been lifted from his chest, leaving room for how big his heart has grown with all the love it holds for you. “I’m so sorry about last night. I’ve been in love with ya since, like, our third date but I knew I’d seem crazy if I said it that early. And when ya said it first, I just couldn’t believe it and I was so stupidly happy that I just couldn’t say anything.”

Now that he’s started talking, the words won’t seem to stop. But from the way you’re looking up at him with so much warmth and affection and love, he doesn’t think you want him to.

“And then I started to panic because I couldn’t say anything, which made it harder to say anything else. So, I came up with this big plan to win ya back with flowers and cake and a big speech but literally everything went wrong.”

“Osamu,” you try to gently interrupt him, but by this point, he couldn’t hold anything in even if he wanted to.

“I forget yer flowers at the bus stop and the bakery was out of cake. Then I almost made this teenager cry so I had to make that right. And of course, this fuckin’ monsoon had to sweep in outta nowhere. And my speech got all ruined, too,” he complains, holding out the order sheet for you to see the proof.

“Osamu,” you try again. Only he’s too wrapped up now in this bizarre, stream-of-consciousness monologue to even take in the adoring way that you’re looking at him.

“If it was gonna rain, couldn’t it at least have been a soft, romantic type of rain? But I guess nothing says romance like a flash flood warning. It’s a good thing ya live on a higher floor with how much it’s comin’ down,” he continues. “All this little love confession is missing are some warning sirens—”

“You love me?”

The question finally shuts him up. But it’s a different kind of silence than the one from last night. Because you look so utterly happy as the three words occupy the space between you. His own expression softens and he crumples up the paper in his hand before shoving it into his pocket.

His hand now free, he tenderly cups your face and presses the softest, sweetest kiss to your lips as the rain continues to come down in sheets around you, only your small travel-size umbrella keeping you both safe.

As his lips part from yours, he rests his forehead on yours, an almost mirror image how you two were wrapped up in each other last night.

“Yeah, I love ya,” he whispers as he affectionately brushes his nose against yours. You smile back at him and his heart pounds with excitement at hearing you repeat the sentiment back to him.

But then, your eyes begin to sparkle mischievously as they always do when you tease him.

“Thank you,” you say and he thinks he’s somehow managed to fall even further in love with you.

#miya osamu x reader #miya osamu #osamu miya x reader #miya osamu fic #osamu x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #miya osamu fluff #osamu fluff #mel writes #meet the miyas #the l word

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honeykaes · 9 months

Text

a renter's deal

pairing: renter!kaveh x afab!reader II 2.2k

warning: smut, 18+ content, minors do not interact, afab!reader with no set pronouns, cunnilingus, fingering, reader had a previous crush on kaveh, unambiguous if kaveh knew, reader is a landlord, unedited

synopsis: your old college-friend (and crush) Kaveh hadn’t paid rent yet. Just as you draft an email to inform him of the consequences, you hear a knock at the door wish a kaveh desperate to pay you back in other ways.

Cicadas loud chirping echoing from outside as your a/c continuously blast to avoid the hot temperatures of the summer from creeping into your apartment complex. It was the end of the month as the next loomed over in a couple of days. As the landlord, this was one of your busiest times. From working on paperwork moving people out of apartments to finalizing paperwork and credit scores to move people into the apartment, you had your work cut out for you—especially when it came to residents paying their dues for their apartments.

A fan blew past you, causing your body to shiver as you shake your head trying to focus again on the laptop in front of you. An excel sheet on the screen greeted you back, tracking everyone’s payments. Apartment 125, Tighnari, paid in full. So did apartment 243, Aether and Lumine, before they moved out.

As you scrolled down, you noticed only a few people had not paid you for rent yet despite today being the last day of the month—including your old college friend, Kaveh.

You and Kaveh were once friends in college before losing contact after graduating. He was always very popular and friendly, a heart of gold that always managed to get hurt by one situation or another. He was now a pretty-well known architect trying to start his own firm.

You helped him through his breakups, his tests—his ups and downs, as he did the same for you. You wanted to reconnect when you first worked with him, moving in to his complex but things weren’t the same. The two of you aren’t the same 18, 19 year olds staying up late and going to a midnight movie showing before an exam like you used to—you both were in your late twenties, different responsibilities and interests pulling you.

And that scared you, so you gave him space.

Since the economy had slowed and businesses and organizations were interesting in building more projects anymore, Kaveh suffered immensely, scrapping anything he could to try to pay rent at the last minute to you. You felt bad but you didn’t want to pry either.

You let out a sigh, clicking on your emails as you began to draft. Since he was late on payment, a meeting needed to be scheduled and fees processed to strategize a plan. You didn’t want to evict the poor man; or anyone for that matter.

Just as you finished drafting the email, you turned your head hearing a knock at the door. Placing your laptop on your coffee table and rising from the couch, you expected a resident to inform you about something breaking or not working. Your lips parted in shock to see Kaveh at the door.

Kaveh seemed completely disheveled, long blond ombre hair, a mess unlike its usually tidy self. His clothes were wrinkled and unfastened as if he had just woken up and immediately ran here. He leans along the wall near your door, chest heaving loudly as he struggles to catch his breath.

“Kaveh?! Are you alright?!” you stammered out. Kaveh puts a finger out to signal to give him a second before he finally catches his breath.

“N-No. I’m so sorry I’m late on rent,” he groaned. “I am working with this school to create a playground but they won’t be able to pay me until next week. I’m a bit short with rent with my current funds.”

Your lips curled downwards before lifting your head to to nurse the headache threatening to form from the stress of the situation.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve been late, Kaveh. I can’t grant you a grace period. I really need that money in full,” you murmured. Kaveh turned to face you, scarlet eyes misty in desperation. Your heart withered seeing him in this state, but you feared bugging would put you on a tight spot with your boss.

“Please (Y/n)! You got to understand, I really tried this time. I can give you what I have and give you the remaining next week! Then I’ll be good to go for next month,” Kaveh yelled out.

“Kaveh, let’s continue this inside, okay? I’ll get you a glass of water or some tea to calm your nerves,” you beckoned, as your own anxiety began to creep in your stomach, you open your door beckoning Kaveh to come inside without a potential audience watching the two of you.

As he nervously entered, stifly sitting himself at the couch as you leave to enter your adjacent kitchen.

“I am only short 500 out of the 1500 dollars for rent and utilities. I can surely give that to you next week,” Kaveh called out as you prepare some glasses of water for you two. You sigh once more, leaning yourself against the fridge trying to figure out what to say without hurting your old friend’s feelings anymore.

“Kaveh, technically it wouldn’t be 500 but 1000. 100 for the late fee and 400 because this is the second time, along with the 500. I don’t make these policies, my bosses do,” you replied solemnly, guilt beginning to eat at you.

“Then what can I do to prevent the late fees from occurring!” he asked.

In college, whenever he was in a bad situation, to make him feel better you always started off with a ridiculous joke to catch him off guard before giving some sound advice with a smile. Oftentimes, he’d be smiling back, hopeful and taking your feedback and lighthearted jokes for the better.

Grabbing the glasses of water, you walked back into the living room placing the waters on the coffee table and closing your laptop.

“I don’t know, fuck me or something,” you idly murmured out before chuckling. Just as you were about to give him actual advice, Kaveh fell to his knees in front of you, wrapping his arms around your legs. You gasped, flustered, body shifting in embarrassment feeling his close contact.

“Kaveh! What are you doing! It was a joke! Y’know like I used to do in college!” you stammered out. Kaveh lifted his head up, eyebrows slightly furrowed in determination.

“Well, I’m not! I wouldn’t mind it at all. If this makes those pesky late fees go away, I’d be more than happy to do this and more!” Kaveh replied. You tried forming words from your quivering lips but your mind seemed to be malfunctioning, feeling his lips beginning to trail along your thighs, placing soft kisses along the skin.

“...Please (Y/n). For old times sake?” he whispered.

Your heart tugged remembering the big crush you had on him before and the drunken kisses you shared with him as you attending parties together leaving you longing for more—the memories were flooding you like a tidal wave.

“...Okay, Kaveh…”

With a small smile gracing his sun-kissed face, Kaveh hands trailed up as his fingers hook on their shorts and the waistband of your underwear and gilded them down. He leaned his face in, puffs of his hot breath causing your body to shiver from the sensation as your clit began throbbing in anticipation.

His face tilts closer, darting his tongue out as he trailed a long swipe between your folds. The muscles curled up to brush against your clit, jolts of pleasure rooting through you from the sudden touch. He swirled along the bud of nerves, hands squeezing at your thighs. Your hands reached over to his hair, playing with the soft curls and losing yourself to pleasure.

He flicked his tongue along the nub, feeling your hips beginning to rock along his face. A low groan emitted from you as you ground yourself against him, his lips circling around your clit before beginning to suck. He continued to switch from sucking to rapidly flicking and circling his tongue on your clit while his hand crept up to squeeze your ass so he could keep up with your movements.

As he continued, one hand eventually left the globe letting two of his fingers sink into your dribbling cunt, coated with your arousal and his saliva. He pumped them deliberately slowly, your legs shaking from his delicate touch, wanting more.

“Kaveh,” you whimpered out, hearing him slurp continuously as your slick graced his mouth. He nuzzled his face deeper into your cunt, as his fingers pumped inside your pulsating walls, curling and massaging themselves to get you closer to your high.

Shutting your eyes, your hands traveled to your chest and squeezed it tightly as your voice began to rise, feeling Kaveh’s tongue press harder against the button. You throw your head back, as your high finally reached you. Kaveh struggled to keep up with your movements as he continued to thrust his fingers inside of you, nursing your high before it fell down.

With slight jitters, Kaveh finally leaned away, lower mouth completely coated in your slick. His tongue was parted out, strings of your arousal still connecting the muscle with your cunt. Your tired eyes stared down in embarrassment, cheeks warm in shame as Kaveh wipes his mouth in content.

You could see the bulge poking out from his pants.

“W-Well! You’ve done your part! So—”

You're interrupted by Kaveh rising from his knees on the floor and connecting his lips with your own in a passionate kiss. You can’t help but moan, feeling his tongue, stained in your juices, roam inside your own mouth as he pulled you closer. He momentarily broke the kiss, both of you trying to catch your breaths, lips hovering by your own.

“I want to ensure that you don’t go back on your word though. So please, let me ensure your pleasure…” Kaveh breathlessly begged, claiming your lips once more. His hands wandered to your waist as pinned you against the wall—paintings knocking roughly from the sudden movement.

Breaking the kiss once more, he zipped his pants down, revealing his throbbing erection. His cock was flushed, shivering as he took a hold of it as precum budded at its tip, dripping down to the rest of his length. He pumped it a few times with a shaky moan erupting from his lips before using another hand to slightly light your leg up near his small waist.

Your lips trembled as the tip of his cock spread past your folds trying to find your entrance, gathering up the abundant slick drooling from you. As Kaveh lined himself up, he placed his lips by your ear and with a low groan, sank himself inside of you.

He grunted loudly when he finally bottomed out, cock nestled deep inside of you. He pecked at your neck before snapping his hips back, thrusting himself inside of you. The paintings hit the wall rowdily to the pace of his thrusts.

“I hope you’re enjoying my end of the d-deal…” Kaveh grunted out, pressing his lips against your ear so you could hear all of his little noises. You moaned in response as Kaveh reached over to press tight circles along your overstimulated clit.

“Y-You made me so sensitive,” you admitted, as you chirped, feeling Kaveh shifting his angle pistoning inside of you so he was not hitting that spot he desperately wanted to find.

“T-That’s the point. I want to make you cum so hard. I know you can…you're so close aren’t you, eshgham,” he whispered, nibbling on your neck. Kaveh could feel your walls beginning to cave in and spasm, signaling your end was close.

“K-Kav—” Kaveh captured your lips as you reached your second climax, your body shivering pinned against him. Hips sloppily faltered as he furrowed his eyebrows to try to control his own temptations and guide you down your high once more.

As glossy lips part from your own, Kaveh slipped his cock out, pumping it rapidly before a desperate groan emitted from his lips before biting down to try to be quieter. Ropes of cum shot from his tip, smearing themselves on your thighs.

He watched as his cum glided down the curves of your wobbling leg. He let your other leg down before supported your weight on your body with a small smile.

“Easy there…you’re probably very overstimulated. Let’s get you all cleaned up in your bathroom. Where is that,” he asked. You tiredly pointed into the direction of your bedroom as he guided you toward it. As he opened the door, he gently set you down on the rim of the porcelain bathtub before reaching to grab a rag on your towel rack.

“I’m sorry for going a little overboard. I just wanted to ensure I had done my part. Keeping my end of the deal is important to me,” he murmured, wetting the towel up with some soap before wiping it down to clean your legs. As he wiped over your cunt, you whined at the burn of overstimulation getting to you.

“...So, please, please please don’t go back on your word, (Y/n),” he begged, with large pleading eyes. You sighed once more, but to his surprise it was a lot lighter in tone than earlier.

“...You don’t have to pay rent at all for this month, okay? I’ll cover it…just focus on getting the money for the next month,” you whispered. Kaveh lit up as a grin curled on his face. He leaned in placing a tender kiss on your forehead as your cheeks fought against a blush.

“...I missed you Kaveh…” you admitted. Kaveh brushed part of your hair away.

“I missed you too.”

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin x reader #genshin smut #kaveh x reader #kaveh smut #kaveh imagines #kaveh scenarios

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queenimmadolla · 7 months

Note

its maiiisssie 💖💖

so the first time penny’s hair is long enough to put in bunches eddie melts on the spot, wants to cry, his baby is too fucking cute, he wants another one

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐝!𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧, 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟 ♡

𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒅!𝒆𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒆 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆

“Hold still, baby.” Eddie quipped around the little scrunchy clenched between his teeth. The baby between his lap did not easily comply, she had no idea what he was saying as she let out squeals. In her hand was a set of toy keys that had gained her favor in the last few weeks, and there was nothing Penny enjoyed more than bashing them into whatever surface she was sat on–in this case, the couch–except, maybe sticking the brightly colored plastic keys in her mouth.

Eddie much preferred that over trying to pry his keys out of her strong armed, six month-old grip. She cried something fierce every time he was successful (so always) which led to Eddie getting her her own pair. So long as she didn’t see his, or yours, they worked like a charm.

Eddie’s thighs got a little firmer around her to keep her from wiggling as he used the brush to gently guide her short curls, wet from a spray bottle, into place. It was a feat, Penny’s curls were all the same length now that she had actual curls instead of the wavy hair all newborns seemed to come with, meaning there weren't many ways it could be styled other than slicking it down. And it wasn’t yet thick enough to hold the weight of a bow so you'd taken to putting ones that came with a headband on her instead.

After a late start to the morning, you’d gotten started on the laundry while Eddie got Penny ready for the day and after putting her in a cute little outfit you'd picked out for her (it was the most adorable little dress that didn’t hide her leg rolls and those socks with frilly lace, even though she pulled off any socks you put on her–Eddie couldn’t stop cooing to her about how cute she was for a good ten minutes, and he was still making comments). Now, having missed your presence, he’d moved the next step in her routine to the livingroom to be closer to you.

While you were sitting on the floor, folding laundry onto the coffee table, Eddie was doing her hair, a sight your gaze constantly flickered back to. He was your husband and your baby daddy, yet somehow you were still vulnerable to the sight of him with a baby. A kryptonite.

Eddie’s attention was focused on the task at hand, brows pinched as he concentrated. He’d been trying this for a while now, and he always fell short.

Today was looking to be the day he and Penny didn’t. As he brushed her hair from the bottom to the top, it all just slowly fell, not yet long enough to reach. But the top stayed, in fact, he was able to gather a good amount of it there and he pinched it in place between his thumb and forefinger. He dropped the brush onto the cushion next to him and reached up to grab the small scrunchy from his mouth before he carefully looped it around the hair he’d sectioned off, twisted it, and looped one final time.

Then Eddie sat back against the couch to marvel at the tiniest ponytail he’d ever seen, sticking straight up like those little troll dolls with the ends curling.

Penny seemed to choose that moment to become self aware and she craned her little body around in search of her dad, probably wondering why he’d stopped fiddling with her hair.

When she finally found him–still exactly in place–her entire face lit up, drooly mouth parting to show off her gums in a wide smile as her eyes squinted.

Eddie lost it.

“YOU ARE THE MOST ADORABLE THING THIS PESSIMISTIC SCHMUCK HAS EVER SEEN!” He bellowed, scooping her up. Eddie launched an aggressive raspberry attack to where she was currently most ticklish, her neck. He alternated between them and pressing kisses to her chunky cheek while she squealed with laughter as she tried, and failed, to raise her little shoulders in an effort to stop his tickles–though it was obvious to Eddie with the way she’d lower her shoulders immediately after he stopped that she wanted the tickling to continue.

Eddie’s booming declaration had surprised you, nearly causing you to toss up the pair of sweats you’d been folding but you managed to quickly regain your composure and your baby’s mystical laughter soon had you joining in on it too. The sight alone had you grinning from ear to ear, heart doing somersaults in your chest as Eddie cradled Penny to him, letting up to fool her into thinking he was done before he planted more raspberries on her while she giggled like a hyena.

When he caught you staring, he sat her back up on his lap facing your direction, “Look, honey! Look!”

You let out an amused scoff, hand reaching up to cover your mouth.

Penny was now beaming at you, pretty brown eyes almost hidden because she was doing her hard smile which had her cheeks pressing up into her eyes. She looked so precious in her little dress but it was the teeny tiny ponytail sprouting on her head that caught your attention.

Had it been on anyone other than a baby, it would have been a very pathetic attempt at one but considering how limited you were when styling your baby’s hair…a win is a win.

“Oh my goodness, you are such a pretty little thing!” you cooed, setting aside the laundry to push yourself up.

Eddie held her out to you and the moment she was in your arms, you were smothering her cheek with kisses, freehand on the other side of her face to keep her in place.

You pulled back to admire the little bunch of hair and then went right back to kissing and cuddling her. It was cuteness overload, she was in your arms, curled up to you and you still couldn’t get enough of her. It was like you wanted to absorb her back into your body but that would make you sad because then you wouldn’t have her in your arms.

You pulled away after one last (it wouldn’t be the last) smacking kiss to her cheek before addressing her as you handed her back to Eddie, “Ma’am, did you know it’s actually a federal offense to be this cute?”

Of course, she didn’t respond with words, eyes sparkling up at you as she babbled and grunted. You loved that she was trying to talk to you. It was obvious to both you and Eddie that she’d be talkative once she got the hang of words.

Eddie twirled the wee ponytail around his finger just as you spotted the mirror hanging on the hallway wall and like a moth to flame, you were over to it and back with it, poised in front of Eddie and Penny. Her smile somehow managed to expand as she caught sight of their reflections.

Eddie chuckled, as she gripped his shirt over his shoulder, “Is that you? Is that you, pretty girl? Is that daddy’s baby?”

Penny’s eyes would dart between his and her reflection but Eddie’s warm gaze stayed focused on hers. He smirked as he observed her get shy, giving their reflections one hard, gummy smile before she was wiggling like a live wire in his arms and hiding her face in his neck.

You both started cooing and she pried herself away from her hiding space to smile again at the both of you before she ‘hid’ herself.

After hanging the mirror back up, you plopped onto the couch and Eddie freed an arm for you to settle under, head resting on his chest as you offered Penny her keys and her pacifier.

She took them both eagerly, babbling before shoving the pacifier in her mouth. Then Penny shook the keys by the ring, yanked the pacifier out and shoved the plastic ring in her mouth, instead.

You both watched her with reverence, bliss wrapping around the moment and promising to be a memory you’d look back on.

“It’s growing a little.” Edde stated and you craned your head up to look at him from beneath your lashes. His face and demeanor were suddenly so melancholic.

You had no idea her lack of hair length had such an affect on him, “It’ll grow more, it just takes a while for hers to show since it’s curled. Aren’t you glad we didn’t listen to my mom–what did she say again? Shaving Penny’s head would make it grow faster?”

“No, baby, I mean her hair is growing.” You blinked up at him without bothering to hide your confusion so he continued. “She’s growing. Pretty soon, I won’t have a baby anymore and those toy keys are gonna be real keys to a car she’s gonna pack up and then she’ll be leaving us in the dust.”

You’d been pretty good at dodging postpartum depression, looks like Eddie hadn’t.

“Oh, Eds, don’t make yourself sad, baby. Yes, she’s growing and it’s bittersweet, I’m sure it’ll never feel like we have enough time, but watching her grow is a pivotal part of our lives. Besides, she has to learn how to walk before she can leave us.”

Eddie’s head rested on yours with a hearty sigh, “Feels like just last week we brought her home, this little bundle of everything good. Tiny fingers, always sleeping and eating, spitting up like half of your milk every time we burped her and when her poop didn’t stink because all she consumed was milk. I miss all that.”

You were both silent as you stared at your baby, taking in the present while also reminiscing the past. You missed when she was that small, too. Her baby sounds, soft breathes, high pitched grunting, the baby scrunch she’d do whenever you picked her up, how she’d almost instantly relax against your breast the moment you started feeding her, eyes slipping shut as she nursed and her baby smell. Holding her on your chest as you rocked her to sleep, nose settled into her soft hair so her scent could fill you had been one of your favorite things to do.

“Have you seen the way she rocks herself when she pushes off of her tummy? She’s getting ready to crawl.” You mused and you felt Eddie sag under you. When you looked up, his head was lulled to the side, eyes closed with his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth. One eye pried open to make sure you were watching him.

“You see me? You see what you did?” Eddie went back to playing dead, “You just killed me.”

You rolled your eyes, fond of the big goofball you’d married as you returned your stare back to your baby girl, your head nuzzling against his chest while Eddie continued.

“Why would you tell me that, doll? You just heard me complaining about my baby growing up and you’re just gonna shoot me while I’m down? Why do you want to hurt me so badly? Huh?”

“I’m just saying you can’t stop her from growing up.” You laughed, swatting his hand away from where it poked at your side, “It’s all happening, baby.”

Eddie let out another sigh, this one defeated but there was a glint in his eyes that immediately made you suspicious.

“You’re right, you’re right. Newborn days are over. Until I put another one in you.”

dividers © @firefly-graphics.

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chanandlersstuff · 14 days

Text

Bubble and Moose, pt 2.

Pairing: Hayden Christensen x Reader.

Summary: The timeline of how Hayden gradually fell in love with her until he was madly in love, to the point of no returning.

Word count: 13.036

Warnings: Not much actually, age-gap, a slow burn and a "steamy" part.

Author’s note: Hello again, thanks a lot for the paitence and the love I've been reciving. I strugle a lot with writing when I don't have the right motivation and that was what happened with this part, I had it for months but only one part was missing and it didn't feelt right to post it.

With that being said, I'm nor sure, but there will be two more parts to this story and I will gladly recive request of what could happen or what you want to see, on the comments or in messages. The timeline will span until the press from Ashoka serires.

gif credit @hayden-christensen

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December 2020, that time of the year.

December was the month of festivities, everyone knew that. It was the time to make your house feel cosy and prepare for the celebrations of Christmas and New Year's with your family. Hayden watched as Bubble struggled to set up her Christmas tree, and he couldn't help but laugh at her failed attempts.

“You are not being very supportive right now, Moose,” she said, playfully scolding him.

“Sorry.” He chuckled. “But this is really funny.”

She dropped the lights, that were around her, in frustration and glared at him. “How so?”

“You look like one of those elves from Rise of the Guardians with the lights all around you.” He kept laughing, his eyes shut tight as he crouched from his laughter.

Hayden’s masculine laugh was so contagious that she started laughing too. He had a point, she did look like one of those elves in the tangle of lights and limbs.

She was so concentrated on the talk that they were having while she tried to fix the mess she made at the beginning of the year when she took all the ornaments down, she ended up making a bigger mess and got caught in the middle.

While they kept laughing, she almost fell and that was when his laugh died. "Please don't bash your head on the floor, Bubble." He said looking at her a little bit worried.

"Relax, I'll be careful." She said, grabbing the arm of the sofa to brace herself as she walked to her seat and worked on the mess of lights. "You already put up your tree?"

"No, Bri and I will put up together next week when she stays here, so I'm waiting for her." The soft smile on his lips when he talked about his beloved daughter made her smile too.

The conversation kept going as she kept fighting with the lights making him laugh. "What are you going to do for the special day?”

“It’s my turn to host this year, so we are going to celebrate here.” He shrugged. “You?”

“At my sister’s but it’s a tradition that the kids come here to look for their presents, so that’s why I’m currently an elf tangled in lights.” She giggled and he smiled at the sound. “New year’s is my turn to be a hostess.”

They kept talking, telling each other what they planned to buy their respective families and every little nonsense that passed through their minds.

Finally, Christmas arrived and Hayden and Briar were sitting criss-crossed on the floor ready to open the presents, his parents watching them with a smile on their faces. The little girl had a bunch of presents around her, opening one by one with sparkles in her eyes.

“I think this one you are going to love.” In his hand, he had the package he had received a couple of days before and a big smile on his lips.

With all the excitement of the world, Briar opened the present and squealed with delight. In her hands were an Anastasia book and a tiara. “I love it!”

Hayden laughed, “Want me to put on the tiara?” The little girl nodded excitedly.

“Thank you, Daddy,” she hugged him.

But he shook his head, embracing her. “It wasn’t me, Bri.”

“Was it a Bubble?” He smiled, nodding. “Send her a picture, Daddy, and thank her for me!” Hurriedly the little girl posed with the book, the tiara on her head and a big smile on her lips for him to take a pic.

Obeying quickly he took the pic and when he was about to send it, Briar put a present on his lap. “Open it, it’s from Bubble too cause it has the same wrapping.”

Delicately, he pulled the wrapping paper off and immediately laughed at the packaging. “Oh God.” Briar was jumping up and down to see what it was so he gently took the present out of the box and showed it to her, making her laugh too.

In his hands was a spatula with the face of Darth Vader and the handle was a lightsaber and to put a cherry on top a matching apron that resembled Darth’s uniform. They were all giggling but his attention was on the note inside the box.

To take your cooking skills to the dark side, but not too much cause it’ll burn. Happy Christmas Moose and Princess, wishing you all the best and lots of tasty food.

With love, Bubble.

“Come on Daddy, take another photo.” Briar pulled from his hand and he, being such a girl dad, did as she said.

As father and daughter posed, everyone around them was interested in who this Bubble was and why she had them smiling so much.

Her phone rang in her pocket, pulling her away from her conversation.

Hayden M

Photo

She loves it and says thank you very much

A smile appeared on her lips when she saw the photos. In the first one, Briar was posing very princess-like with the book and the tiara in her head. The second one was a father-daughter selfie, Hayde was showing very proudly his spatula while Briar hung from his chest. The third one made her heart warm, and her knees buckled a little if she was honest. Hayden poses with the apron with a big smile looking directly at the camera.

It was my pleasure, truly

By the third photo, I’ll assume you liked yours

Of course, we find it very funny.

I accomplish my mission then

And you? Did you like yours?

I’m going to open it as soon as I arrive home with the kids

Cause it’s tradition that we open our presents together

True to her word, as soon as she arrived at her house the kids ran towards the tree dragging her with them. “Come on, hurry up!” Daniel kept pulling from her hand, making her laugh. While Brianna and Daniel were sitting around the tree piling up their presents and opening them, their parents and she were sitting on the couch eating snacks and chatting.

In the sweetest way ever, Bri put a box with wrapping paper of bubbles in different colours and sizes, probably chosen by Briar, on her lap. “From…” Her sister peeked over her shoulder.

“Not your business.” She stuck her tongue out to her as she pulled the box closer to her chest, making them all laugh.

Delicately, she pulled the paper off and an immediate smile appeared on her face. Hayden’s gift was perfect, a beautiful frame with a Singin’ in the Rain phrase, tracing the edges she read. “The show must go on!' Come rain, come shine, come snow, come sleet, the show must go on!”

He remembered their conversation all those months ago and that made her happy, and a little teary. In the back, it had a note that kept the smile on her lips. He’s too fucking sweet.

“Someone special?” Her sister asked.

The smile on her lips was answering the question itself, but she just shrugged. If her concentration wasn’t on her phone, she would have seen the looks between her sister and brother-in-law.

Bubble

Best present ever

Seriously?

You liked it?

Love it

You are the best present giver

I guess by the wrapping paper that Briar had something to do with it too

Yeah, she hand-picked it and all

Photo

Hayden opened the photo and smiled. It was a selfie of her with a big smile, to the point her eyes were almost closed, and behind her the frame on a big bookshelf.

Already placed in the important part of my house

Love the big smile, looks amazing on you

And I’m very happy that you like it

January 2021, you and me from the night before.

First day of a new year, the first hours technically. Hayden was coming back from celebrating with Briar at her mom’s house when an idea appeared in his head, so a little detour from his house was due.

He parked his car and took a deep breath, drumming his fingers against the wheel. What are you doing Hayden? The clock on the dashboard reads 01:55 AM. Grabbing his phone, he went to his contact and bit his lip nervously.

Should I go in or is it too much? I don’t need to walk up there, maybe it's better if I just wish her a happy new year with a call. Hayden's gaze shifts to Bubble's house, where he can see the faint glow of lights through the windows. He takes a deep breath, contemplating his decision. Fuck it.

One beep, two beeps, thre-. “Hello Hayden, hi!” Her cheerful voice reached his ears.

“Hi, Bubble.” It was impossible for him to not smile. “How’s everything?”

The noise died down a little, “Amazing, how was your night with the Princess?”

“Very good, she had a blast and used the tiara as a part of her outfit.” They laughed. “Listen,” she hummed. “Are you home?”

“Yeah, we are all here, the kids asleep.” Hayden's heart races as his idea of seeing her possibly come true.

“Can you possibly…” he drummed his fingers against the wheel again “Step outside for a bit?” I'll go and wish her a happy new year, just like any friend would, just that.

“Outside my house?” She asked, confused.

“Yeah…” Instead of an affirmative response, it sounded more like a question.

“Sure, give me a second. I have to grab shoes.” She said quickly.

The possibility of hugging Bubble, feeling her warmth and sharing a moment of celebration, made his heart race for some reason. Hayden glances at himself in the rearview mirror, adjusting his appearance, making sure he looks presentable before stepping out of the car. As soon as his feet touched the pavement, he took a moment to steady himself before walking towards Bubble's front door. As he made his way to her front door, his heart was pounding with anticipation.

When she opened the door, a mixture of surprise and delight washed over her face, Bubble stepped outside her house with two glasses in her hand. The second they saw each other a smile instantly spread across their faces.

She looks absolutely beautiful. Simple tailored black pants hugged her waist with a corset with sparkly details and embroidered patterns, her hair was free and slippers were on her feet. Her lips with wine stains that gave them a particular colour that made her even more beautiful in his eyes.

"You didn't have to come all the way here, Hayden. You could have just called me," Bubble said, her voice filled with warmth.

They closed the distance between each other. "I wanted to see your face," Hayden replied, his eyes sparkling with affection. “And wish you a happy New Year."

Bubble's eyes softened, and she couldn't help but smile. “I wanted to see your face too.” Putting the glasses down, Bubble pulls Hayden into a warm embrace without hesitation.

Hayden's worries melted away as he held Bubble tightly, feeling the warmth of her embrace, his hand gently tangling in her hair as she rested her face on his chest. Her jasmine scent hit his nose and made his knees tremble a little. Oh how fucking much he had missed that smell, her smell.

Maybe it was all the wine in her blood and how fucking gorgeous he looked under the lights on her porch, but she snuggled against his chest, the rhythm of his heartbeat syncing with hers. They stood there, wrapped in each other's embrace, savouring the quiet and tender moment.

After who knows how long they, against everything their feelings screamed at them, pulled away from each other, but not too much. Maybe two feet away from each other, not much.

“Let’s just toast.” Quickly she grabbed the glasses and gave him one with a wink. “Don’t worry, it’s kids' champagne.”

Hayden laughed, making her smile more. “Always thinking about everything.”

“To what we toast?” She pursed her lips.

He mugged her, pursing his lips. “To... friendship?” Friendship? Really? Are you an idiot Hayden?

She groaned, tilting her head back, “Oh, come on, Moose. We can do better than that.” Her tone teasingly.

Hayden chuckles, realising Bubble's playful challenge. He took a moment to think, his eyes dancing across her features and involuntarily he took a step closer to her again. “To taking chances.” He asked softly.

Bubble's eyes lit up and she took a step closer to him too, her voice filled with warmth. “I like it.” Moving her glass towards his she smiled, “To taking chances, and embracing the unexpected.”

They clinked their glasses together, the sound echoing in the quiet night. As they sipped, their eyes locked, a mix of anticipation and affection passing between them.

How beautiful her eyes look under these lights. “I'm glad I took the chance to come here tonight, Bubble.”

She smiled bigly, “Me too, Hayden. I missed seeing you in person.” It was as if her hands had a mind of their own, or they were led by her heart because she hugged him again. He didn’t oppose and rested his cheek on top of her head as her arms circled around his waist.

March 2021, jealousy? Jealousy.

Hayden was at the coffee shop near her office, ready to pay for their breakfast when a hand beat him to it. “What the-'' Ready to turn around to face the owner of the money, the sweet voice he heard even in his dreams reached his ears and that hand he was dying to have intertwined against his own appeared on his line of vision. She was standing by his side with a smile on her lips. Oh how much I missed that smile. “I was going to pay for that, you know.”

She put the change in the tip jar “Well hello to you too, Hayden” and moved out of the way.

“Bubble.” He smiled at her and she did not only smile back but kissed his cheek too. Oh how soft her lips were but how ephemeral the sensation was on his skin. Come back, come back and kiss me all over again so I can cherish it properly.

His eyes fell on her outfit. Blue Converse, black tailored pants and a black tank top with a big light blue shirt on top.

I have a similar shirt. He couldn't contain his brain from creating the scenario of her with bed hair, his shirt, nothing underneath and her sweet smile.

It took Hayden a few minutes to come back to the real world but when he did, he just cleared his throat and blinked a few times. “You didn’t have to.”

But she simply shrugged. “It was our breakfast, let me treat you, Moose.” Our breakfast, how sweet.

The opportunity to tease her was right there. “How do you know it was our breakfast?” He asked with a brow raised.

She put an offended look on her face. “You go around buying every girl breakfast?” Her hand travelled to her chest where her heart was. “I’m wounded. And here I was, thinking I'm special.”

You are special. I only bought breakfast for you. And Briar and my mum and maybe my sisters if I’m in a good mood. “Cocky much?” They laughed.

After ten minutes or so, they got their order and jumped into his car to drive the rest of the way to her office. She talked all the way while he basked in her presence, her jasmine scent invading his nostrils, hoping it would stay on his car, and how clear her voice sounded in person. After Facetiming for months, her clear sweet voice was music to his ears. Having her close to touch was divine to him. That magic moment at the beginning of the year had left him wanting for more, wishing for more.

The scene was so fucking domestic, so cute. They were riding to work together, her attention on him, her body angled in a certain way that the sun hit her in the eyes and even though the visor was down her height prevented it from properly functioning.

As soon as they reached the studio’s garage he opened the car door for her, every door that came their way actually, as the gentleman he was, and talked a little bit about everything on their way to her office.

“Hello, you two.” Charlie’s voice brought them back to the real world. “Nice to see you again, Hayden.” The boy smiled her way, “Boss” and shared what seemed to be a knowing look with her. From the corner of his eyes, and above her height, he saw how a pink colour adorned her cheeks, it suited her.

She placed a coffee in front of the boy and rolled her eyes. Did she always carry that extra coffee? I was so lost in her face that I didn't notice the extra cup? Trying to not think much about it, a little scared of the answer, Hayden followed her to the office.

For some reason her office still lacks photos, it was more personal than, almost, two years ago that was for sure, but still no photos. The drawings were there, the video camera too, even the jasmin- she stopped in her tracks and he almost crashed against her. “Sorry, Bubble.” He said with his hands on her waist. Her look was fixed on the little desk where the jasmines were supposed to be but instead, there were red roses on it. He tilted his head to the side confused. “Are you okay?”

She nodded but he didn’t buy it because she was looking at those flowers like they were carnivorous and in any second they would eat her. His hands were still on her waist and for some reason, drew soft circles there, on top of her clothes, and that seemed to bring her back to the real world. Taking a deep breath she got close to them, but not too close, just to grab the card that was peeking from them.

His blue eyes watched her attentively as her nose was scrunched, which only meant that she didn’t like flowers. “Friend?” The curiosity was killing him. Who was sending her flowers she clearly didn’t like?

To her scrunched nose, add pursed lips and a bored look on her face. “Ex actually.” She said through gritted teeth.

“Still in touch, so civil.” He mumbled taking a sip of his cup. Why did you say it when it was clear that wasn’t the case? Are you jealous?

The offended look on her face was not fake that time. “Not even close.” The card on her delicate fingers was made a ball and went directly to the bin below her desk. “I don’t know why he sent them.” Her reaction had him raising his eyebrows. Was she mad? That was her mad face? She purses her lips when she’s mad? She’s so fucking cute when she’s mad. “Charlie, can you come here and take something away please?” She said through the phone.

The dad alarm on his brain, the one that told him when something was wrong or something was dangerous, went off. “Are you allergic?” He said quickly getting up from his seat and walking towards her, stepping between the flowers and her, looking attentively at her face in case she stopped breathing suddenly and stretching his hands to take her from her forearms, afraid she would fall.

She frowned at him but with a smile on her lips. “No, I’m not.” Her hands were on his forearms too. “Relax, I’m okay.”

He looked at her just to be sure and then to the flowers right when Charlie entered. “They are pretty.” It was true, they were, but Hayden preferred jasmine.

“I guess.” She shrugged and both of them looked at her confused. “I actually don't like them.” The brunette frowned his brows. “They are too cliché for me.” Hayden laughed and she did it too, still holding onto each other.

The moment that was created around them would become a core memory, the sunlight entering through the window illuminating the space, the synchronised laughing, the warmth of the other’s hands on their skin and, as if they were fifteen all over again, the racing hearts with flushed cheeks.

His laugh died a little earlier than hers and her laugh was melodic to him, even though it wasn’t. How beautiful you are laughing in my arms.

Nothing broke the moment, it died down on its own. Slowly, almost reluctantly, they let go of each other and kept having breakfast. Ewan came at some point to see her, to discuss something about timing and stayed with them chatting.

“How’s the Jedi training?” She asked, looking at them.

“Wonderful.” “Really fun.” They said at the same time and she smiled happily. “You should come, you know,” Hayden added and Ewan agreed but her head was tilted to the side, frowning. “To see how everything is going.”

“Oh yeah, I will go around one of these days but you are not going to make me train.” She warned the two of them, pointing a finger. “I do not train, under any circumstances.” The pair laughed and nodded. Hayden was with them, her, until it was time to do the wardrobe fitting so he left them to discuss their important matters.

Trying the Jedi robes again, the saber in his belt, every little second of that process of putting on and taking the costumes made him extremely emotional. Going back to being Anakin put him on a roller coaster of emotions and now, more like for a while, he had to throw into the mix the feelings he was having for her. To say his heart had been going through a lot lately was an understatement.

The fitting was finished and he was walking through the studios, going back to her office, to see if she wanted to have lunch with him when he bumped into Ewan. “Hey, how did it go?”

They walked side by side. “Good, lots of memories.”

The Scottish nodded. “Yeah, tell me about it.” They laughed. “The sabers and everything, it’s amazing.” The brunette nodded. “I felt like a kid all over again.”

Hayden felt the exact same way, not only because of all the filming and reminiscing but with his feelings. He was a fifteen-year-old with a massive crush again, her mere presence around him made him smile like a boy and felt light. Thinking about her and there she was, standing a few metres away from them talking with someone.

Whatever his dear friend was saying didn’t reach his ears because his attention was solemnly on her, like always. She looked uncomfortable, her body language screamed it and he noticed it right away, even if her back was towards him. She wasn’t facing directly at the person in front of her, her arms were crossed and she kept looking around, like searching for something, for someone. Who’s that? He stopped walking to inspect the scene, and Ewan stopped a few steps ahead of him.

“Who’s that?” Hayden interrupted his friend, who looked where he was looking and shrugged. “That one, right there. Who is it?” His eyes were fixed on the guy in front of her, too close to her for his liking, and that kept trying to get her attention.

“Don’t know.” Ewan shook his head “Why?” and raised an eyebrow looking at him.

But the question fell on deaf ears because Hayden kept looking towards her and when her eyes connected with his, his protective side emerged. She seemed relaxed as soon as he found him but a second later she raised her eyebrows, opened her eyes wide and then looked back at the guy in front of her. Walking past his friend, he went directly towards where she was.

He stood tall, making him seem taller than he already was, chest puffed and chin raised. In a few strikes he was standing behind her, his hand found his rightful place on her back and she relaxed against him as soon as he arrived. “You alright?” His tone was low for her to only hear, his breath ghosting in her neck, but no response came and instead only a few seconds' look from her that clearly indicated that it wasn't the case. “We were looking for you, are you ready to go?” He said a little louder.

The guy in front of them shut up the second Hayden arrived, but he didn’t pay attention to him. His eyes were on her and only her. Please tell me if something is bothering you. “Hey, I’m Tyler.” The guy stretched his hand towards him.

Blue eyes looked at him up and down and kept staring him down. “Hayden.” Oh, how he wished that his voice mimicked Vader’s at that moment because it would, for sure, make the idiot in front of him fear him, but a strong grip would do the work. All that with his left hand was still on her back and her jasmine scent calming him down, her warmth keeping him centred.

She looked up and gave him a tiny smile. “Tyler was leaving and so were we.” We, as in her and me. Not you dude. “Goodbye.” She didn’t wait for an answer and turned around, walking in another direction. Leaving him missing her closeness.

Hayden stood there, for a few seconds, still staring him down with a serious look on his face. The only moment he didn’t look at him was when his eyes landed on the nearest exit and then slowly looked back at the guy. Take the hint and walk away. Not wasting more time he followed her, leaving the guy behind, where he was supposed to be.

When he reached her side, his eyes raked her up and down, searching for some bad thing. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Hayden. I'm fine." The soft use of his name grounded him. Say my name again, say it a thousand times, say it in French.

He nodded. "Who was he by the way?"

Her mad face became present in an instant. "My ex." She turned around to look at where he used to be.

"The roses guy?" A frown appeared on his face and she nodded. "What did he want? What was he doing here?" The protective mode was on again.

She looked back at him, with a tiny smile and her head tilted to the side. "He came to a casting and wanted to say hi or something like that, I don't know and I don't care." Her tone was firm, "I'm just glad you came and he is gone" but the softness of those words was something else.

You want me to die? You surely want me to have a heart attack. Unnoticed by him, the smile that appeared on his lips was worthy of an obvious fool in love and his hand almost cupped her face.

The cute moment was broken when her phone started ringing, he took a step back and let her answer. How close were they standing to each other? His mind was racing, his heart was racing and, being honest, he needed those few minutes without her near to properly be a functioning human being again and not a fool led by his feelings.

"I got to go, there are a few things I need to take care of at the office. But I came to see how the fitting went." She played with the phone on her fingers.

How sweet. "Great, lots of feelings." That’s an understatement.

Her hand travelled to his bicep "Tell me over lunch?" and gave it a little squeeze with a smile on her lips.

Caught by surprise, he raised his eyebrows, and before she could back down he nodded. "Of course, yeah." They smiled. "My treat though, cause you already paid for breakfast, Bubble."

"Deal." She said laughing, he did too.

His eyes followed her while she walked away, a smile on their lips and Ewan approached him with a smirk on his lips. "Well, I didn't know you were the jealous type."

"What?" He gave her one last look before turning to his friend, blue eyes with clear confusion, who had a flat look on his face. “I’m not jealous.” Hayden shook his head frowning. “I’m being absolutely reasonable, she looked uncomfortable so I went there to help." He defended himself with a tone a little higher than his normal one.

The Scottish, with his hands in his pockets, raised his shoulder and pursed his lips. "Sure, she looked uncomfortable, but admit you were jealous."

The brunette pursed his lips too. "I wa-”

"And you were a little protective too." He interrupted him.

"Wha-”

"I get it." Ewan shrugged again. "I would be the same way with my wife if something like that happened."

He frowned. “What? Who talked about marriage?” His mind was racing at 100mph.

But his friend laughed. “Look at you all worked up.” Even though Hayden tried to deny it, Ewan kept laughing. “You are so jealous.”

“Am not!” Am I? No, not at all.

“Yes you are, and to that add the worst liar for being an actor too.” His friend slapped him on his shoulder and walked away. Leaving Hayden standing there while he felt like his friend slapped him with facts left and right in the span of seconds.

Jealous? Me? Pff. Never. But wait, maybe I am. No, I can't be. Definitely not jealous. She looked uncomfortable with that guy and I did what I thought best, just that. Nothing more.

May 2021, little intruders on set.

The shooting started a few weeks ago, but Hayden was going to keep training for the fighting scenes, determined to make them perfect.

The day was almost coming to an end and he didn’t see her at any given moment, her too engrossed in filming and him with the training. So, he was making his way to his office, to see her at least for a few minutes.

“Hello, Charlie.” The boy behind the desk smiled at him. “Is she inside?”

“Yes, go.” Charlie had a mischievous smirk on his lips, but he paid no mind to it.

Walking a few metres from the reception to her office, he could hear the happy squeals from inside and her characteristic laugh. After knocking on the door, it died down. “Come in,” Her sweet voice said.

As soon as he set his feet inside, surprise gasps received him. “Anakin.” Being recognized as Anakin never fails to make him happy, after all, it was a character he held dear to his heart.

Sitting in the middle of the office, papers and coloured pencils scattered around the floor, were two kids, a boy and a girl, looking at him in awe. He looked at them with a smile on his face and walked further inside the room.

With them, sitting with her legs tangled was with one of her big happy smiles. “Kids, Hayden.” She caressed the heads of the little kids. Oh, what a sight. “Hayden, Brianna and Daniel.” They were looking at him with big eyes in awe.

They were quickly standing up and he crouched down a little in front of them to look at their eyes, he extended his hand. “Nice to meet you guys.” They shook it quickly. “I heard so much about you two.”

From up close, they looked identical. “Really?” They asked at the same time.

“Yeah, your aunt talks all the time about both of you.” He could see how she smiled at the scene. Brianna blushed at that and Daniel smiled happily. “Are you visiting the set?” The pair nodded. “And? What do you think?”

“Amazing,” Brianna said. “Everything is incredible,” Daniel looked at him as if he was a superhero.

Hayden saw her getting up and extended his hand to help her. When she was on her feet, he pulled her closer to hug her, the scent of jasmine in her hair invaded his nostrils. “Bubble.”

Her soft giggle reached his ears. “Moose.” The nickname made him laugh. “What are you doing here?”

They stood close, the two kids looking at them with eyes opened big. “I didn’t see you today, so I came to say hello.” He wanted so badly to move the loose strand of hair out of her face.

“Did you know that she used to have a poster of you in her room?” Daniel said, looking at him with curious eyes.

“Really?” Hayden raised an eyebrow, teasingly, at her and the little boy nodded.

“I was a kid.” She tried to act as if it was cool but the blush that started creeping to her cheeks gave her away, “Where did you get that?” and looked at the twin surprised.

“Mum told us,” Brianna said, still looking at Hayden.

“Why that doesn't surprise me.” He heard her mumble under her breath, that close they were. “What else did she tell you?”

“That you were a nerd.” The little girl said, raising her shoulders nonchalantly.

Her mouth fell agape. “I was not!” She said offended.

But the little boy nodded. “She said you were.”

Hayden was finding the whole exchange hilarious. “Your mother was a cheerleader, of course to her I was a nerd but I wasn't.” She crossed her arms, like a little girl when she was mad.

“You kinda are.” Brianna looked at her with a puppy eye look and Hayden laughed, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to not laugh too.

She crouched down to look at them, “I'm the one who can get you free tickets to Disneyland and conventions, so if I were you I would think my next words very carefully.” and narrowed her eyes threateningly, it was clear it was a joke by how much she was pressing her lips to not laugh.

The kids looked at each other for a few seconds “You are our favourite aunt” and said with sweet smiles on their lips, too sweetly.

She pressed her lips to not laugh. “Say that your father's sister and we are cool.”

They shook hands. “We always say that to her.”

Hayden laughed at the conversation. “You two are my favourites.” She kissed their heads.

“Now go with Charlie.” The twins happily obliged. “And don’t cause havoc!” She said, popping her head out of the office.

After exchanging some words with Charlie she looked back at him for a few seconds and then at the grown.

He waited for a few seconds but the need to tease her beat him. “So....you were a nerd.”

A groan left her lips and he couldn't hold the laugh that escaped him. “No, I wasn't.”

“What were you then?” Tell me about you, I want to know everything.

Nonchalantly, she pursed her lips “Normal” and walked towards the mess of papers and pencils on the floor.

“You were one of those that get along with everyone?” He raised an eyebrow and helped her pick everything up.

But she shook her head “Far from it,” making him frown “but I didn't stand out so it didn't matter.”

Impossible. “I highly doubt you didn't stand out, but okay.” She rolled her eyes. “If you were normal, what makes your sister say you were a nerd? Apart from being a Star Wars fan.”

The brunette picked up the pencils while she picked up the papers. “She was a cheerleader, everything apart from that was a nerd to her.”

“Come on...did you do cosplay?” His blue eyes were full of curiosity.

“No.” She shook her head.

“Dungeons and dragons?” Again, another shook off the head. “Maths tournament?”

She looked at him biting the inside of her cheek, a little embarrassed. “Champion for three years by my hand.”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Impressive, very impressive.”

The fact that he wasn’t teasing her, or making fun of her, made her visibly relax “I know” and a smug smile appeared on her lips.

“Theatre?” Different departments of his school years popped into his brain.

“Had to.” The frown on his brows made her explain. “I can't act to save life, but I had to do it so I could gather experience.” He nodded understandingly. “I acted in a play as a tree once though.”

They laughed. “The most beautiful tree for sure.” It escaped his mouth too fast for him to even think what he was saying. But it’s true. The blush on her face made him smile proudly. “The yearbook?”

“No, but I had a friend that was there and I went to help him out sometimes.” He passed her the pencils “Thank you” and she smiled at him.

“The band?” He got up and helped her stand up too.

The tingles from hugging her minutes ago were still there and touching her hand for a second time, even for a few fleeting seconds, made his knees weak. Teenager behaviour Hayden.

She shook her head. “I can't even play the triangle.” They laughed.

“I’ll teach you to play the piano, sometime.” He winked and she blushed. She leaned on the table and he stood in front of her, their height difference more prominent. And he loved every second of it. “Any sport?” He asked, looking down at her.

Her lips pursed, while she nodded. “Gimnastic, three years.” Flexible, that’s interesting.

Horny behaviour, Hayden. Shaking his head to get rid of the inappropriate thoughts. He asked again. “You have a thing for number 3?”

But she looked curiously at him, for a few seconds, tilting her head to the side. “It's my lucky number.” She shrugged.

Hayden paid attention to her outfit. White simple long-sleeve t-shirt, showing off the curves of her torso, green cargo pants, that fitted her well in the waist and her Doc Martens. He loved her style, since day one.

“Back to school topic,” she nodded, “you weren't a nerd.”

“Told you,” she said in a singing tone, making him roll his eyes. “I just went there, passed grades as fast as I could to finish and got the hell out of that place to go to university and do what I like.”

He looked around her office. “Seems like you are doing it.”

A smile appeared on her lips. “The crazy little Star Wars fan that I was would have jumped on the couch the moment someone told her this is what she was going to do when she grew up."

He laughed at the idea of a mini her jumping all over the place. “I would have loved to meet her.” His tone was so soft, almost like the way she was looking at him. “More than anything because of my poster on her bedroom wall.”

She groaned, hiding her face in her hands, “Oh god” and he laughed, pulling her into his embrace. It was a natural response, the magnetic feeling in between them was too much to deny it. The need to have her in his arms, just like at the beginning of the year, was stronger than his critical thinking.

Unknown to him, the deep sound of his laugh, the way his chest moved against her cheek and the way he was holding her, all made her weak on the knees. The mix of his perfume and cigarette drove her straight to her wildest dreams, that took place on that specific July night but the only difference was that they were under the same roof, in person. Close enough to tear each other's clothes.

He was coming down from his laugh when he looked down at her, blushing adorning her cheeks, and she looked up at him. Your eyes are beautiful. Your smile is one of my favourite things in this world. A smile plastered on their faces.

“I'm going to kill my sister because those kids are too cute.” She said, still a little embarrassed about the poster incident.

Delicately, as if she was the most expensive work of art in the whole universe, he tucked that wild strand of hair behind her ear. “Don't change the subject.” You are still holding her, Hayden.

Your embrace makes me dizzy. After a few seconds, where she was lost in his eyes, trying so hard to not lean into his hand, she spoke again. “I already told you. I was a fangirl, what else do you want me to say?”

Everything about you used to do. You used to kiss the poster? I can kiss you now if you ask me. Technically, if I lean down a little, I could. WHAT?! “I thought you were a fan of the movies, not me.”

“Don't feel special Moose,” he raised an eyebrow. “I had a poster of Obi-Wan too.” She laughed at how he rolled his eyes.

“And that's how you kill the mood.” He acted offended and took a step back. Come back. Hold me again. Hold me for a million days. But they laughed.

“For real now,” she looked sincerely at him “I am a fan of the movies but you were my favourite of them all” and winked an eye.

That simple gesture, brain short-circuited him. “Thank you, Bubble.”

Feeling a little bold, she took a step closer to him, head tilted to the side. “And I used to have a massive crush on you.” Such a liar, you still have a massive school-girl crush for him.

If his brain was short-circuited, now there must be smoke coming from his ears. “Used to?” He choked out. Would you like to have it now? So that way I'm not the only one having a crush.

“Yeah,” she nodded. Is it me or suddenly we are in the sun? And his lips parted a little, her eyes falling there.

The cute, a little hot, scene was cut short by her phone ringing. “Shit.” She mumbled under her breath. “It’s Charlie, I gotta take it.”

He cleared his throat and said, “Yeah, yeah” nodding.

They talked for a few minutes, she even laughed a little and then hung up. “They are in the gift shop and Charlie is afraid they are going to try to buy the whole thing.” Hayden couldn't laugh at that. “I’m going to pick them up and take them home.”

“I’ll walk with you.” He said quickly. “I’m finished with the training for today, so I’m heading out too.”

She nodded “Yeah, okay” and pointed over her shoulder. “I’ll grab our things and we can head there.”

After a few minutes, they were walking out of her office. He held the door open for her, as usual. While they were walking around the set, they talked about their days and how they went.

The brunette found it extremely cute how she moved her hands while she explained something. Too absorbed in her storytelling and too focused on him, he hopped so, she didn't notice the golf cart coming behind them nor the prop guys in a hurry towards them, so swiftly Hayden put his hand on her back and swapped places with her.

She was walking on the wall side and him on the street side. His hand still ghosted on her back, guiding her around. The feeling of wanting to kiss her skin from that night in July still burns in his memory and now it was mixed with the closeness they were having. That definitely would hunt him in his sleep.

June 2021, girls team.

His day had started early, having been woken up by Bri due to her excitement for the day that awaited them. The little girl asked him like a hundredth time if she was finally going to meet the Bubble in person and each and every time he said yes with a smile on his lips.

“I can’t wait to see her,” Bri said as she jumped in the passenger seat.

Hayden chuckled, “I’m sure she feels the same, sweetie.”

And it was true. He had to carefully pick the day to bring her to the set and Bubble helped him, clearing the entire day to just shoot Anakin scenes. Briar was young, she still hadn't seen the dark parts of the Star Wars prequels, she knew her daddy was Darth Vader but had not seen it with her own eyes.

His heart beat with anticipation at the day they were about to have. Briar had been the centre of his universe since her birth, and bringing her to his workplace, to the one where he had to be his favourite character, the one he held most dear to his heart, felt like merging his two worlds.

As he was preparing for the upcoming scenes, sitting in the makeup trailer, with Briar spinning on the chair next to his, the familiar scent reached his nose first and then he saw her.

“Oh my!” She gasped. “Why did nobody inform me we have a princess on the set with us today?” Quickly her eyes met Hayden’s and gave him a fleeting wink before looking directly at the little girl.

There she was and a smile appeared on Hayden’s lip, just like in Briar’s.

“Bubble!” The girl smiled at her, Briar said with a glint in her eyes. As if she knew her from her whole, short, life, the girl jumped from the chair and hugged Bubble’s legs.

Her melodic laugh reached his ears as she caressed the little girl’s hair. “Hello Princess, it’s lovely to properly meet you.”

While the two of them talked, Hayden eyed her without the worry of being caught. She was wearing blue cargo pants, her characteristic Doc Martens, a black tank top, two braids keeping her hair tamed and a black cap to complete the outfit.

“Are you excited for today?” Bubble crouched down to Briar’s eye level and the girl nodded eagerly. “I have a very important task for you,” the girl’s eyes widened. “If you are up to it, that’s it.”

“Of course,” the little girl put her small hands on her shoulders, making the grown-ups laugh a little.

Oh, how sweet was the sight of that smile? “Splendid,” Bubble said. “Would you be my assistant director today?" she asked, her eyes twinkling.

Briar nodded enthusiastically and then looked at her father. “Did you hear Daddy?”

“Yes, sweetie,” Hayden nodded, smiling, something he seemed to not stop doing since the jasmine-scented woman walked through the trailer doors.

“Can I Daddy, can I?” She pleaded, even though she already agreed. “Please, pretty please.” She ran to him and clutched his legs.

Caressing softly her hair, which matched his in tone, “Of course, sweetie.”

Bubble’s heart melted in that instant; she had seen Briar grow through her cell phone screen during their daily Facetime, and seeing her in person, with Hayden treating her so gently, with so much love in his eyes, felt like witnessing the most tender and authentic moments of life, the kind that were too precious and real to be scripted. How I wish I had my camera here.

Without waiting for a second, Briar ran back to her and grabbed her hand. “Okay, I’m ready.” She nodded confidently and looked up at her smiling.

“Perfect,” Bubble touched her nose. “Mr Christensen here, has a little more time in the make-up chair?”

He scrunched his nose at how she called him. It sounded strange coming from her lips, he had been Moose for so long, Starboy prior to that, and Hayden in more personal moments, and he didn’t to be called anything else than that. Okay, maybe one or two other ways far more personal, but never Mr Christensen.

“I think so, yes.” Briar nodded.

It was true, Hayden sat not long before she arrived and the process stopped entirely when she walked through the door, and he still had to pass through the wardrobe.

“You are correct, Miss Christensen,” he played along.

Bubble smiled widely at the situation. “Very well, we should be going to see if everything is prepared on set and we’ll see you when it’s time to shoot, Mr Chistensen.”

He saw how hard she was trying to keep a serious face, how hard she was pressing her lips to not laugh and how with a simple raise of brow from his part almost made her burst in laughter.

“Very well,” he repeated. “I’ll see you when it’s time to shoot, Directors,” and reassured.

He saw them walk away hand in hand pleased and if it meant seeing the big smile on Briar and Bubble's faces, Hayden would play along for the rest of the day.

After another two hours, Hayden was finally making his way to the set and met Ewan there. “Where’s Bri?” The Scottish looked around.

He told her how his own daughter left him the second Bubble appeared, but rather than being sad, he found the whole thing funny and cute. Loving how despite Briar’s shy ways, much like him, she seemed to shine in the presence of the jasmine-scent-cheerful woman.

“Ah!” Ewan laughed. “Another Christensen falling for our Director’s sweetness I see.”

Before he could question what he meant by that, his eyes fell on the tall and small figures not too far from him, matching headsets around their necks, and as he walked closer he realised that the cap Bubble had when he saw her was no longer in her head but in Briar’s instead. Hayden watched them with a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before, but he was sure it was there to stay for the whole day.

The pair pointed at them and Ewan clapped his back, bringing him back from the daydreaming, “Let’s go, they are calling us.”

“Here they are!” Bubble said with a smile on her lips. “Ewan, I want to present to you my number one assistant director, Briar Rose Christensen.”

His friend crouched down a little and shook his daughter’s hand. “Very pleased to meet you, Miss Christensen.”

“Hello,” his little girl sounded so confident and from up close he saw that she was carrying a badge with her name and the “Assistant Director N°1” on it.

His blue eyes found her’s and without uttering a word he conveyed what he was feeling at that moment with a soft smile and she seemed to understand because she smiled just the same and winked an eye again. Unknowingly to him, her hands itched to touch his arm just to make her point clear but chose to restrain from it and just bury them in her pockets.

Oh, how lovely it was to see them interact. How soft and attentive she’s with her, how Bri clings to her side, to her hand and every word that leaves her sweet lips. He witnessed how those two spoke during their daily Facetime, but seeing that in person, how easily they liked and shared things, was something far more beautiful.

They were about to start shooting their scene in the Jedi temple so everyone went to their positions, Hayden stayed back to kiss Bri goodbye for the moment. “Be the best Jedi knight out there, Daddy!” She called sweetly, warming his heart.

“Of course, sweetie.” He kissed her forehead and caressed her hair.

He locked eyes with Bubble and she gestured with her head to the side, making him follow her. “Yeah?”

“First,” she looked him up and down. “It’s really good to see you in Jedi robes,” her fingers traced delicately the black leather material from his sort of Jedi vest.

“Thank you,” he took a small step closer to her, wanting to feel her warm embrace as much as he could. “It feels good to wear them.”

She smiled at him and his knees trembled a little. Surely, it’s jitters from the scene, not for her sweet sweet smile.

“Second,” her voice brought him back. “Are you okay with me asking Briar to be my assistant and the headset thing?” He noticed the nervous ticks on her, and how she played with her nails. “I know it’s late for asking but I got carried away and I want to make the day memorable for her, and and-”

“Bubble,” delicately, he placed his big hands on her small shoulders, his touch calming her down instantly. “It’s more than okay.” He reassured her with a smile, “You are making her day, truly, she hasn’t stopped smiling for a second.”

“She has your smile,” she blurted. Incredible, girl. Tell him how you have his beautiful smile tattooed on your brain. Hayden chuckled and she smiled. Oh, that sweet sound.

He said something but he couldn’t register it, his heart racing too loud inside his chest due to her comment. And after a few seconds of trying to calm it down, he could finally be back to normal. “Relax, everything is fine, Bubble, you didn’t overstep at any moment.”

She exhaled relieved, but his thumbs kept caressing her shoulders softly, leaving a tingling sensation as they traced her skin. “I planned to let her call cut if that's okay with you?”

He smiled, nodding, “She would love it.”

Just like she asked him, Bubble offered the task to Briar as she knelt in front of her, always looking at her eye to eye. “Want to call cut when they finish filming the scene?”

Hayden had the front row to see how his little girl’s eyes shined at the proposition and eagerly she nodded, jumping at the chance. “Of course, yes!”

They all smiled and went to their positions, Ewan and Hayden to their marks while Bubble and Bri were behind the monitors.

From where he was standing, he caught the second she helped the little girl sit in her chair, the director’s chair, how she sat straight, proud to be there, and Bubble, standing next to her, guiding her gently, their heads close together as they discussed the scene while pointing at the screen.

It took him more than usual to get into character, being unable to stop smiling at the pair of girls, his heart beating out of his chest every time his clear eyes fell on them. Concentrate, Hayden, for fuck’s sake. You are a professional, act like it. She’s your director, nothing more….maybe a dear friend, a very dear one. With a sweet smile and a jasmine scent that you could recognise anywhere, but surely nothing more.

"When I say 'action,' you watch your dad, and when he does that cool move we talked about, you get to yell 'cut!'," Bubble instructed. Briar's role was serious business, and she performed it to perfection, her small voice shouting "Cut!" at the perfect moment confidently, causing the crew to applaud, her father more proudly than anyone there.

In the brief moments between takes, where the crew milled around adjusting equipment and discussing the next scenes, Hayden and Briar found themselves enjoying a moment together, by the monitors, catching up.

Briar was eating her favourite snack, strawberry yoghurt with chocolate cookies, that were suddenly available on set, a thoughtful gesture that didn't go unnoticed by Hayden, as she swung her legs back and forth, her small feet not reaching the ground. Her eyes, wide and observant, had been taking in every detail of the vibrant set, but it was the moments spent with Bubble that seemed to captivate her the most.

"Dad, she's more beautiful in person!" Briar exclaimed with that child-unfiltered honesty, her voice a whisper of awe and fondness for the woman.

Hayden glanced over to where Bubble was standing with a couple of the crew, discussing the next shot. The afternoon light filtered through the high windows, casting a halo around her, softening her features and highlighting her gentle expressions.

His eagerness from the year prior to wanting to see her shine in her element was nothing compared to the satisfaction of being actually there, being witness to her greatness, personally and professionally.

"Yes, she is..." Hayden replied softly, his voice trailing off as he watched Bubble laugh at something one of the crew members said. How privileged would be the person who gets to hear that sound over and over? COME ON HAYDEN! Where is there professionalism? Long gone now, that's for sure.

Briar giggled, snapping Hayden back from his monologue. "She even showed me how to check the camera angles, and gave me heatseat!" Briar's excitement was palpable, each word punctuated with an enthusiastic bounce. “Did you hear me call cut?”

“I'm glad you're having a good time, sweetie," Hayden responded, his smile tinged with affection. Oh how happy she makes Briar, she’s too sweet for this world.

"She said I was a natural, like you!" Briar continued, unaware of the complex emotions stirring in her father.

Hayden laughed, reaching out to tuck a stray curl behind Briar's ear. "Maybe one day you'll be directing films too, huh?"

"Maybe," Briar mused, "but only if I can do it with Bubble. We'd be the best team!"

"Indeed, you would," Hayden agreed, his gaze drifting once again to Bubble. As if sensing his gaze, Bubble looked over, her eyes meeting his across the distance. And, as it had been since day one, a silent communication passed between them, a shared smile that spoke volumes.

The day was finally coming to an end and Hayden was arriving at Bubble's office to pick Bri up and call it a day, he knocked softly before pushing it open. The room was dimly lit, the only light coming from a small lamp on the desk. There, in a scene that melted his heart instantly, was Briar, asleep with her head resting gently in Bubble's lap. Bubble, with one hand resting on a script and the other lightly stroking Briar's hair, looked up and met Hayden’s eyes with a soft smile. Calm down, you stupid heart.

Bubble carefully shifted, easing Briar's head onto a cushion she placed on the chair, and stood to meet Hayden halfway across the room. They moved in a quiet, shared understanding, their steps soft to not wake up the little girl, who was clearly too exhausted from the day’s adventures.

“She crashed just after you left. It's been quite a day.” Bubble whispered, her smile reaching her eyes.

“Yeah, it has,” Hayden replied, his voice low and warm. “Thank you, for everything today. For making today special, not just for Briar, but for me too.” A soft smile appeared on her lips, paired with red on her cheeks. “It was amazing.” You are amazing. His words lingered in the air, laden with unspoken feelings, hinting at the layers of meaning behind them. “She hasn’t stopped talking about today. You’ve made quite the impression.” He added.

"It's easy to make days special with you two," she replied softly. “I loved every minute of it and I’m glad she did too. She’s wonderful, Hayden.” You're both wonderful. “Just like you.”

Their eyes locked, and for a moment, the world seemed to stand still. The air between them was charged with an unspoken understanding, the kind that comes from shared looks and smiles that linger a little too long.

But before anyone took a leap of faith and said what they were feeling, the silence was broken when Bri turned around, mumbling something in her sleep. Hayden nodded towards her, “I should probably get her home. She’ll be wondering where she is when she wakes up.”

She nodded and stepped out of their way, but watched with a smile on her lips how he gently scooped Briar into his arms, careful not to disturb her slumber.

As Hayden held Briar close, Bubble stepped forward, her presence comforting and familiar, the jasmine scent involving him, and leaned in to plant a gentle kiss on Briar’s crown, a tender gesture that made his heart race again.

His blue eyes got lost in hers, they were so calm, so peaceful, that it was just what he was looking for amidst the chaos of his mind, of his heart, he wanted to dive in them and never be found.

Then, standing so close to Hayden that he could feel the warmth of her breath, she raised herself slightly on her tiptoes and placed a sweet, chaste kiss on his cheek. “Goodbye, Hayden,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes holding his for a lingering moment.

Kiss me until I know every millimetre of your lips, but let me keep kissing them in case I forget a detail. The simple kiss sent a ripple of warmth through Hayden’s body, the kind of warmth that spreads slowly but reaches deep. The proximity, her scent, and the feel of her lips on his skin, all conspired to heighten the tension between them.

“Goodnight, Bubble,” Hayden managed to say, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside. With Briar in his arms, he turned towards the door, carrying more than just his daughter, the idea that he was losing the battle between rationality and emotion.

Bubble watched them leave, her hand touching her lips briefly, the memory of the kiss lingering like a promise, like hope. The office felt suddenly too quiet, too empty, but filled with a hopeful anticipation of what tomorrow might bring.

July 2021, fulfilling dreams.

One of the last fighting scenes was coming up and Hayden wanted it to be perfect, so he trained all the time for them, so much that he lost track of it. Long ago he stopped feeling the ache in his limbs, or any sensation at all, and the world outside the four walls of the immense training room he was in disappeared.

Unknown to him, he was not alone. She was leaning on a wall looking at him, lost in the way he moved swiftly around the room, how his muscles flexed. She was fascinated by him, but not only by what he made her feel, in terms of her silly little -not little at all- crush, but by how dedicated he was to his part, by his work philosophy.

The horny part of her was thinking how someone wearing a brown henley and black loose pants could look so fucking sexy, but he could pull it. At some point he tilted his head back, the light hitting on his hair, making his skin glow and her eyes travelled across the curve of his jaw, to his neck to the point where it met with his clavicles, which was showing thanks to the two undone buttons, and she pressed her legs together, gulping.

At the worst time possible, in the silence of the room, she sneezed and he turned around confused as hell. “What the-?” But relaxed when he saw it was only her. “Bless you, Bubble.”

“Thank you,” she had a tight smile on her lips. “Sorry to interrupt you.”

“Not at all,” he cleaned the sweat from his forehead with his shoulder sleeve. “Break from filming?”

She tilted her head to the side, looking at him frowning, “The filming ended hours ago.” At those words, he frowned too. “It’s dark outside, since when are you here?”

He looked surprised. “I don’t know,” She shook her head, walking towards him with a water bottle in her hands, “late afternoon I think.”

“Here,” she passed him the bottle and he smiled at her, putting the lightsaber on her hands. “Well, all those hours worked extremely fine.”

He gulped the water like a dehydrated man. The main thing that was killing her, that was making her so fucking hard to focus, was how his Adam's apple kept bobbling up and down when he swallowed his drink. “You think?” Truth be told, he was insecure about a few things, his performance being one of them.

“Yes” and nodded sure. “From what I see, and from what the stunts and trainers tell me, it’s perfect.” She smiled kindly at him, “You are more than ready.”

“You sure?” What she had to say about his performance, about him, meant a great deal to him.

Taking a few steps closer to him, she maintained eye contact. “You are going to kill it, Hayden. I say this as the director, I can already picture how perfect the scene is going to be.” Those words meant a lot to him, but on top of that, how soft she reassured him was what put a smile on his lips. “And as a fan, I already have chills just imagining how it’s going to look.”

He chuckled at that, “Well, I trust you so I’m going to believe you.” She nodded satisfied and he drank again.

With how close they were, he saw the exhausted look on her face. The mark of her glasses on the bridge of her nose made him want to pass his fingers there, to relax the frown adorning her features. His eyes diverted to her outfit, always loving how she dressed. Tall black sneakers, paired with also black loose leggings and a fitted blue t-shirt, her hair held by a clip in an extremely messy way. Blue eyes traced back to her face, but she was looking at the saber in her hands, a tiny smile on her lips. “What?”

“I’m trying to not let my little me have a mental breakdown,” she said her eyes still not looking at him

The brunette’s lips curved up in a smile. “Why?”

She shook her head, hiding her eyes from him. “It’s lame.”

“No, it’s not.” He said quickly. “Talk to me, Bubble.”

Slowly, her eyes met with his and he could notice right away the sparkle in them, but when she looked at him from beneath her eyelashes, he was almost knocked out of his feet at how much it affected that simple gesture. His eyes fell at her lips the seconds she wet the lower one and made it prisoner of her teeth, his heart started beating uncontrollably. Too fast, too hard, that he was sure she was able to hear it.

“I’ve always wanted a lightsaber, but I never had one, and you're giving me yours, even if it's just to hold it, it’s-” she laughed, shaking her head “It’s…um… I don’t-” she giggled nervously “I don’t know how to explain it.”

You are so cute it had to be criminal. Hayden was seconds away from dropping to his knees from how cute she was, from how giggly and happy she looked.

An idea popped into his brain, putting the bottle of water away, he smiled brightly at her. “I know you say you don’t train, but I’m going to teach you something.” She looked at him frowning. “Anakin’s signature move.”

Her eyes shone like a little kid, “I'll make an exception," he raised his eyebrows. "Only for you." A big smile appeared on her lips and all her tiredness flew away.

Her jasmine scent surrounded him, welcoming him when he stood behind her. His chest touching her back, the great difference of one head gave him the opportunity to look down on her. It would be easier to show it to her and that each of them had a lightsaber? Probably. What was the fun of that?

Oh God. She took a deep breath, his closeness clouding her thoughts. A mere inch in between their skins. “First,” he said in a low hushed voice, “don’t arch your back” he heard her holding her breath, “legs a little open.” Shivers ran through her back as he whispered in her ear. “Now,” slowly, his hand travelled to her left one, “a basic spin.” She nodded, pressing her lips to not let a giggle escape her mouth because his breath tingled her.

His fingers intertwined with hers on top of the base of the saber, “relax.” His fingers travelled lower, to her wrist, “Don’t be stiff.” Gently, he massaged it a little, loosening it. Gently, he started twirling his own hand, it took them a couple of minutes to find the right rhythm. Because, one, she was left-handed and it came naturally to him with his right hand, but with his left one was another thing, and two, it was really hard to concentrate for either of them being that close to the other.

Yeah, the ache he was feeling before? Disappeared, completely. It was nonexistent the second they invaded the other’s personal space.

To the endless list of things he noticed about her add, confirming his theory, that her skin was soft. And yes, her touch shocked him to his very core. A simple hand touch, simple fingers intertwined, made him weak in the knees.

Her lips were a little agape, fully concentrated on the task at hand. After a couple of spins, where he gathered she already mastered it, she was ready for the second step. “Second, you are going to tuck it behind your back pointing your knuckles to the ground.”

“Huh?” She moved her head to the side, looking at him with a frown on her brows.

Their lips centimetres from each other, making it extremely hard to concentrate. For both of them. Lord have mercy on me.

It was like they were in sync, they looked at the other's lips at the same time, not realising what the other was doing. The sudden need to trace the curve of her lips almost overcame him, almost becoming too much for him to breathe properly, to the point his grip on the saber loosened a little but her firm one brought him back to the real world.

“Basic spin,” she led that part, “Point your knuckles to the ground,” his hand guided hers, “and tuck it behind the back.” Delicately, to not injure her, he moved their arms behind their backs. “Got it?” She nodded, liking her lips and that time, he was the one who took a deep breath, earning a little smile from her.

“Now what else?” Master. She asked looking ahead trying to hide her blush, but failing miserably because he could see it.

His hand found his place on her waist, he felt her take a shaky breath, “Turn slightly to the side,” and moved her. The movement made her shirt lift a little, his cold fingers touching her warm velvet skin and a little laugh escaped her lips. “What?”

She pressed her lips together to not laugh, “I’m ticklish,” but failed miserably. Her head fell on his shoulder, her throat completely exposed and Hayden’s eyes fell there, instinctively licking his lips. Oh, that laugh.

Even though she wanted to control her laugh, she couldn't and after a few minutes, when he came out of his entrance with her, he laughed too. His chest rumbled against her back. His masculine laugh made her weak on the knees.

The closeness they were having disappeared, but not because someone took a step away, but because they were glued together, not an inch of space separated them. Who took that step? God knows, but her back was glued to his front, his grip on her hip was gentle but a little possessive.

Finally, their laughter died down. How can I have so much luck and at the same time none? “Show me again, please?” Her tone quivered a little and the most masculine, soft, giggled left her lips. To my very core, thank you.

What he found on her face instead of a frown, was a smile. Not only that, but her eyes were looking at his mouth too. “Knuckles to the ground, tuck behind the back while moving your hip.”

She nodded and did the move. Still guided by him, with his hand on her hip. Hayden’s breath caught in his throat the second the movement of her hips made her ass graze his crotch, he tried to put his mind black, to think about anything else other than the sweet torture he was enduring, other than the tightness he started feeling in his pants. Every touch, every movement, It's overwhelming.

He couldn't ignore the intense physical sensations that surged through his body. The closeness of her body against his sent a jolt of electricity straight to his core. He felt his breath hitch and his heart rate quicken, unable to deny the undeniable attraction he felt towards her. Hayden desperately tried to push these thoughts aside, to suppress the growing desire that threatened to consume him. Looking up, he invoked all his willpower not to succumb to his desires to make his very vivid sexual dreams come true at that precise moment. But deep down, he knew that his sexual dreams were just that— dreams. He couldn't let them cloud his judgement or jeopardise the trust they had built. Control your impulses, Hayden. Stay in control for the love of God.

Feeling his grip losing a bit, her hand grabbed the forearm of the hand that was on her waist. It seemed involuntary, like she was grounding herself and it made his heart start racing. She was intoxicating for him, her mere presence made all around him disappear.

After who knows how long, because he was trying to make his hard-on disappear, her voice reached his ears. “You okay?” She was looking up at him over her shoulder.

Busted. He nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I was about to sneeze and I didn’t want to.” She nodded, not too convinced.

“What now?” The way she was standing, with where their hands were, he was hugging her from behind. His long arms engulfed her small figure.

The mix of his perfume, mint and cigarette impregnated in her skin, clouding her. All around her was Hayden and that was drowning her but calming her at the same time.

“Back to the starting position.” At that point, he was still behind her, hand in hand, because it was too difficult for him to part ways. He was too selfish to do it. “And do it all over again.”

Confidently, she made the whole move successfully. “Oh God.” She looked at him with her eyes widened. “Oh my God!” One more time, she did it. “I did it!” She turned around towards him, face to face, with a big proud smile on her face.

“You did it, Bubble.” He smiled proudly too.

Without thinking twice she jumped into his arms, saber forgotten, along with any clear thought. His arms hugged her by the waist and spun around. Their laughter filled the air, her head tilted to the back and the most beautiful smile on her lips while his eyes admired every second of it.

When her feet touched the ground, his arms were still around her waist making him crouch down a little, her hands on her shoulder. They were breathing the same air, their noses were mere centimetres from touching. She was swimming in his blue eyes, he was living in her lips. Gently, his head tilted to the side, still looking at her lips, and her hands travelled to his neck, her thumbs ghosting his Adam’s apple.

Timidly, they started shorting the distance. Her hands tangled in his hair, and his fingers went under the hem of her t-shirt, touching her skin and making a shiver run down her spine. His eyes caught the moment the tip of her tongue wet her lips and his knees almost gave in.

With how close they were, their eyes met. How beautiful her eyes shine. Not even the calmest, most clear ocean, could compare to those eyes. Slowly, he nuzzled her nose with the tip of his and she closed her eyes pleased, her lashes caressing her cheeks. Her nails ran down his scalp and it was his turn to smile pleased, his head falling back and the feeling of a single wet kiss under his jaw blurred his brain.

He called her name like a prayer, in a whisper, as if it was his only angel and he didn’t want anyone to hear him, to steal her from him. She pressed herself tighter against him. Even with layers of clothes in between them, he could feel her nipples against his chest. The breathless way she said his name, the way she purred it, made him die and go to hell and heaven back twice.

Only the finest of papers could be between their lips, that close they were. Hayden felt the curve of her lips on his, slightly, and that was what brought him back to the real world. What the hell were you thinking? Are you that out of your mind? Painfully, dying inside, he pulled himself apart from her. Putting as much distance as he could because he knew that succumbing to his desires at that moment would be inappropriate and could potentially ruin the sweet relationship that they had built.

Confusion adorned her sweet face. “I’m sorry, Bubble.” She tried to take a step closer to him but he took one back. “I-I ca-I can’t.” His eyes watched how pain took over her features and it was like a knife twisted in his heart. For a few seconds, she looked down. “Bubble-”

Looking at him, with watery eyes, “I get it” She took a step back.

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “It’s not like that, I-”

“I’ve got to go.” The way he saw his demeanour change, like that day in October back in 2019, when she built walls inside her, killed him. He never wanted her to build those walls for him to not be able to see her true self, hell he never wanted her to feel any kind of pain and certainly not because of him.

“Goodbye.” No Hayden, no Moose. Simply Goodbye. Well done, idiot. Well, fucking done.

He wanted to scream that it wasn’t her the problem, that his insecure self was the problem. That he wanted her, but his feelings were a mess, that he was a mess. That his last real relationship went so bad that he was afraid of fucking things up with her and losing her.

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