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lilacs-world · 4 months

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I feel like I’m chronically not okay but idk if I’m valid enough to label myself as chronically ill. I am able to work 40h a week but with the cost of laying in bed the rest of the day when I’m back home. In the weekends I sleep mostly. My room is a disaster because I never have the energy to tackle the chaos. I wished I was able to walk to work and back but standing for more than 15 min is already exhausting me and I get dizzy and lightheaded. I am constantly in pain, my normal pain level is on good days at a 2 on bad days it’s at a 4 or 5 but maybe I’m too modest about my pain due to fear of admitting I’m not okay. I am always tired even if I sleep usually enough. At times I feel more refreshed with only 4 hours of sleep hell knows why. I am waking up daily at 5:45am to get myself ready for 8am work. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be a functioning adult. I am scared of the moment I will unmask bcs im masking daily due to Audhd. Plus daily I’m confused because we are often switching and my quality at work at times fluctuating and my TLs wondering wtf bcs we know u know all the processes so wtf. Daily I feel like I know only a specific part of the processes and I have days where I ask so many questions that one of the TLs told me they are growing gray hairs bcs of me asking so much. The doctors in my country are shit when I mentioned suspecting we are a system they said nah it’s just ur anxiety. When I questioned if I have adhd my former psych said nah only kids can have it. My former therapist said yeah after unofficially diagnosing me with it. Autism I suspect that too and I got my confirmation more or less from my bf who’s on the spectrum as well. He got his confirmation he has adhd as well by me noticing lots of adhd things in him and he has now meds whilst me is in this godforsaken country that isn’t taking me seriously. I got my confirmation I have adhd when I took speed and realised for the first time "so this is how neurotypicals experience their life?" I for once had a train of thoughts in order and not a carambolage of luggage’s getting stuck in the baggage claim belt. I sobbed so hard. On good days I am able to remember and memorise lots of shit. But on bad days I barely anything. My body is out of control. I have pcos and it’s ravaging my body. I grow hair on my chin and arms and it’s making me uncomfortable and I developed anxiety about having hair in my face to the point over pluck and over shave it. My period is out of control. I either bleed for 2 months consecutive or I don’t have my period for 6 months. I am anemic due to it. I am such a pale human that I’m constantly being asked if I am okay. Oh yeah not to forget having an autoimmune disease since I am 2 years old. Having to deal with psoriasis break outs each winter where I end up being covered on my legs, arms , ass with skin patches of psoriasis. At times it’s even in my eyebrows and on my scalp. Each winter is a torture for me. I am battling with depression as well. Luckily this last year it wasn’t so overbearing and I felt more human than I used to in the past. Nonetheless my anxiety is ravaging and leaving me crippled daily. I sound ridiculous talking about myself rn bcs in my brain I feel like you aren’t this sick or unwell you are faking this you are a horrible human for saying all this things but I know it’s probably my internal ableism and the internal critical subconsciously developed voices of my surroundings telling me I’m not actually sick and I need to go to work even if sick etc. Sigh. Idk where I wanted to go with this whole post. I know you guys don’t see often a personal post from me or posts from me and more reblogs of stuff I enjoy seeing and stuff I wanna boost and stuff I find important or relatable or stuff that I think might make someone feel better and less anxious or feel seen. I hope this is fine. I hope being more real is helpful. Maybe I should do this rambling on my other blog @unfilteredrealities where I tried to talk about life in a real way , unfiltered. You can even send in your own submissions if u want to.

Anyway thanks for reading my ted talk.

TLDR: I don’t know if I’m actually chronically ill and if I’m valid enough to label myself as that and then I rambled about my life experiences with audhd, did, anxiety, depression, pcos, psoriasis and there are more but I’m exhausted.

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blu3lemonade99 · 5 months

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Todd Ingram redrawww.

#soft colors #artists on tumblr #colorful #scott pilgram vs the world #scott pilgrim takes off #todd ingram #redraw #blues art #digital art #pink #lilac

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anonymous-ivplay · 5 months

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Rain World iterator crochet dolls for sale!

This isn't great timing bc plushies, but I'm accepting commissions for crocheted iterator dolls! Pictured below are the main 5 as just heads with hands and simple cloaks, those will go for $25 before shipping. Full body dolls will be $45 before shipping.

I will also accept commissions to crochet your iterator OCs!

Please note, I won't do anything more complicated for clothing than basic fabric quarters, as seen above, but I can color/dye them as needed (e.g. Moon's cloak above was a turquoise square that I distressed and bleached the center of).

Please DM me if interested!

Get dominated idiot

also pls read my rw fic

#rain world #rain world downpour #five pebbles #looks to the moon #sliver of straw #no significant harassment #seven red suns #crochet #commission #plushies #t pose meme #lilac speaks

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lilacs-stash · 5 months

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Grand slams team dynamic

Mostly based on canon with a few HCs yeeted in there, this is meant to be during S2 ofc. (Also note I don't ship Knife and Trophy I just think Trophy had a weird hate crush on him and Knife didn't care)

And here's the blank template! It's free to use WITH credit.

might make a Bright lights one too idk

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germplush · 24 days

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Cheesing showing Greydancer how they use their AAC, Lilac is supervising

we need a real AAC device prop we need to buy,, Cheese is a high support needs semispeaking autistic and Greydancer is disabeld from his mental illnesses, they're both neurodivergent and apart of a disability program. Dreamer's Care. a company that takes care of disabled plushines long and old. Lilac is a staff member and is watching over them for their time out. Lilac is an low support needs autistic 🍭🌟

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sugarsnappeases · 2 months

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thank you for the tag @fxreflyes this is so cute, except the format is trying to hinder my propensity to ramble, so i’ve rectified this in the tags lmao

i’m over 5'5 / i wear glasses or contacts / i have blonde hair / i often wear sweatshirts / i prefer loose clothing over tight clothes / i have one or two piercings / i have at least one tattoo / i have blue eyes / i have dyed or highlighted my hair / i have or have had braces / i have freckles / i paint my nails / i typically wear makeup / i don’t often smile / resting bitch face / i play sports / i play an instrument / i know more than one language / i can cook or bake / i like writing / i like to read / i can multitask / i’ve never dated anyone / i have a best friend i’ve known for over five years / i am an only child

no pressure tags for @static-radio-ao3 @inevitablestars @itsjaywalkers @carniferous @orbitfalls @transsexualpriest @futurequibblerjournalist <333

#i'm like 5'7 i think. fun fact i used to wear glasses when i was like 11 bc all my friends were getting glasses and i wanted some too so i #lied to my optician. lol good times. don't actually need glasses tho soooo.#this is me coming out as a natural blonde guys….. like my hair hasn’t been blonde in a good year or so and it hasn’t been my natural blonde #in like three/four years but still in my heart of hearts i identify as a blonde. like i get confused when people don't count me as one #i have my ears and nose pierced and i would love a tattoo but unfortunately i have both a fear of needles and commitment issues so.#not sure if that’ll ever happen… would be very hot and sexy tho. also i'm one of those freaks with green eyes lol it's appaza quite rare #my hair is currently like dark dark brown… have been getting the itch to dye it again tho like a kinda reddish colour idk yet we’ll see #i had braces for AAGES. i have freckles in the summer and i paint my nails whenever i remember to. rn they’re a very chipped lilac colour #i think i have a resting bitch face but i can never tell tbf like it might be more of a resting 'dead to the world' face lmao #okay technically i don’t play an instrument anymore! but in the past i’ve dabbled with the cello the oboe and the xylophone. singing too #spanish and italian baybee although ig if this means like fluently then that’s not me but this is literally my degree it’s my whole brand #yes i like to read but also the only things ive read in like the last few months have been either books in spanish/italian for my degree #literary criticism for said span/ital books and… fanfic. so. also i like writing but it's my worst enemy rn the thoughts aren't working :(#i have many best friends that i’ve known for years!!!! in fact i've known some of my friends for like my entire life it's very cute #okay sorry for rambling i can never help myself and i also literally could go on icl like there was Some restraint applied here #kara lore #bc there's quite a lot of it in this one lol #tag games

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luv-botz · 6 months

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An imagining of what if a streetcleaner from ULTRAKILL utilized - instead of a flamethrower - a stihl backpack leaf blower

Possibly the closest I'll get to having a robosona. Beep-boop I just wanna leafblow. (Could utilize other stihl products)

Btw you can call it a groundskeeper

#colt.hello world #colt.art #robosona #robot oc #ultrakill oc #streetcleaner #ultrakill streetcleaner #robot #robot art #mecha art #i might change some details still i think the pants are sadly plain #the lilac is purely cuz. dat me.

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wallpapedits-vvc · 1 year

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Matching wallpapers #129

another about pills, I didn't plan it I swear.

Like/reblog if you save ✨

2nd: Pill Cabinet bt Damien Hirst

None of this wallpapers/pictures belongs to me, I just do the matching.

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lilac-nites · 10 months

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Brand Update: Innocent World White

I went on the Innocent World website yesterday and saw that they had a new line/brand set up to commemorate their 20th anniversary in 2018. I know it's not new at all, but I haven't really seen anyone talk about it. It's called Innocent World White and it's really cute.

They made a casual version of their brand that's cheaper. I think it's great for beginner lolitas who want to try classic lolita or want simpler designs. They're not offering anything at the moment, but I want to keep my eye on it in case they release more items. I found the original listings of the items through google and they're very simple, but really cute. They've released the following items so far:

Sailor Collar A Line Dress

Marine Dress

Blouse with Ribbon Tie

Corset Hem Line Jumper Skirt

Square Collar Dress

Stand Collar Ribbon Blouse

I'm going to keep a look out for them on secondhand sites. I would love for them to expand to bigger sizes and more colors/designs. Do you think more brands should have a small casual brand like this on the side?

#lolita fashion #classic lolita #innocent world #innocent world white #casual lolita #lilac talks

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lilacs-world · 1 year

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S͇͇ͣp͇͚͇҈͇҈͇i͇̻͇c͇͇͋y͇̘͇ ͇͇ͪA͇̟͇d͇͇̂h͇͇͠҈͇͔͇d͇͇ͮt͇͇ͫi͇͇͜s͇͇̿m͇͓͇

Ȋ̵̊͏̕ ̻̣̃ͧc̟̮̊͠͝ạ̷̵̬ͨ̽̾ͅň͉̙̎̊ ̢̻̙̅͟͡h̴̸̸͜e̵͓͎ͫ͢aͫ̃́r̡͙͜͜͝ ̸͟͠aͪͧ̅̀͝ţ̰̭̰̌͜o͔̲̝̹͒͏̶͠m̸̶̶͎̙̟͍̓ͪ̈͠s

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Stack flavors make new Pringles

👁◡👁

絕不會放棄你永遠不會讓你失望永遠不會跑來跑去拋棄你永遠不會讓你哭泣永遠不會說再見永遠不會說謊傷害你絕不會放棄你永遠不會讓你失望永遠不會跑來跑去拋棄你永遠不會讓你哭泣永遠不會說再見永遠不會說謊傷害你絕不會放棄你

#lilacs-world #lilacsworld #adhd #brain goes brrrr #chaos hour ™#lilac goes brrrr #personal #smash smash smash #psa #welcome to a day in my brain 🧠#what is lilac's brain shenanigans doing now again

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lilaccatholic · 4 months

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What I want this book to be about, simply, is a girl so steeped in death that it chokes you to come near her, but she's so eager for life and living that you never want to leave her gaze

#snapdragons and scribbles #lilac writes a fantasy novel?#if i can ever actually write this and pull it off i think i'll have contributed something good to the world #wouldn't that be something?

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anonymous-ivplay · 1 month

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Rain World Art Month '24 Day 13: Five Pebbles

This is VERY late for, uh, obvious reasons. Always wanted to do a redraw of my Inktober piece with more detail worthy of an iterator superstructure, but GOD did this take forever ^^;

#rain world #rw art month #rain world art month #slugcat #iterator #five pebbles #rain world slugcat #rw slugcat #rw iterator #lilac draws

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lilacs-stash · 9 months

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ii headcanon: Trinkets.

Trinkets are little accessories that two or more object's wear when they're in a relationship with each other.

Trinkets come in many forms. Sometimes they match, sometimes they're traded accessories, but most commonly they're a bracelet or ring that is the color of the partner it represents.

There's two things in canon that are trinkets in my stuff. The Crystal Candle gave to Silver (which he'd wear as a big earing), and the bowties Taco and Mic had.

#I love creating random culture things for fictional worlds #it's really fun #inanimate insanity #silvercandle #I'm not taging as t@¢om1¢ because I don't like them. I just think they're exs and this lines up perfectly with my trinket headcanon #ii microphone #ii taco #ii silver spoon #ii candle #ii headcanons #lilac's ii designs #not actually but because they're such an important part of my designs I feel like this belongs in that tag #object posting

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julianpeterscomics · 23 days

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"The Waste Land" by T. S. Eliot, page 1

Ever since completing my comics adaptation of T. S. Eliot’s “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” I have wanted to do something similar with Eliot’s most famous and celebrated poem, “The Waste Land.” But besides being extremely complex and often difficult to interpret,”The Waste Land” (First published 1922) is very long, and this always deterred me from getting started. It was only recently that…