#look at me in my sweet little face and tell me that if kaz had the resources and motivation and genre he wouldn't have

[pyreshe]

girl help i remembered how i was an ar.temis f.owl girlie growing up and how that relates to my fixation on the s.ix of c.rows duology

#idk what the fuck this says abt me but it says Something that's for damn sure #artemis and kaz are the same guy in a different font #look at me in my sweet little face and tell me that if kaz had the resources and motivation and genre he wouldn't have #home alone'd the fuckin fae for just a shit ton of money and power #if those books weren't g rated artemis would have been doing the fucking most wrt the criminal underworld #he canonically freezes a dead man so the fairies he previously blackmailed can revive him #i love them tho they're not meant to be likable or anything u just want to study them like bugs #maybe i'll get the graphic novel artemis fowl at some point 🥰 #✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: ooc / [mothman vc] take me home country roads

[rosedom]

ok ok so, kazuha who always denied it everytime reader calls him a pretty boy. so reader fuck him rough and won't let him cum before kazuha tell that he's a pretty boy

there's just something about pretty boys that has me weak . . . o(*￣︶￣*)o thirst format !

hoooolyyyy moly. god, okay ! you got me, you got me.

kazuha is so, so sweet. he waxes poetic with every breath he takes. each whisper of affection curls around you, warm and tender and so, so loving. but it wouldn't take long for you to notice how quiet he is regarding himself.

you wonder, then, how he can create such beauty from the setting sun, yet he can never compare his own eyes to them. his eyes, so wide and round and gorgeous, tinted like the ocean water when the sun kisses it in retreat. he, too, never dares to speak of the way his body, so small yet so strong, can wield the type of power that can put gods at his feet. no—instead, he writes about how beautiful the shogun looked; he sees through an artist's eyes the way her eyes widened in fear, the way her pupils shrunk and pretty purple showed just how human a god could be.

you simply cannot understand how a man can see the world through such a rose petal'd lens, yet when he looks at himself, he sees nothing of note. he sees a vessel, sure; he can understand the innate beauty of soul's vessel. but beyond that? nothing.

it makes your heart break, knowing that kazuha—the man capable of so much art, making the world brighter and changing the way you see everything—does not see himself in any positive light. to him, he simply exists.

really, he walks the earth the same as you do—yet while he marvels that you are here with him, he cannot grasp that you, too, marvel at him.

he could grasp, however, at your cheeks—at you yourself, when you've got him pressed into the bed with your foreheads touching. he holds onto you tightly with trembling hands, soft little sounds punched from his throat which each thrust.

"you're so—mm—!" he'd try: try to praise you, to say something pretty while you're balls deep. he can't really manage, though, when your cock presses into all his sweet spots.

each incessant thrust into him makes him cry out, cute, soft sounds that you just want to eat up ! you'll have to pardon me for thinking about how you'd have to kiss up his moans, licking into his mouth as it hangs open in his pleasure.

kazuha'd keep his shakey hold on your face, forcing you up and away from his lips to beg, "please, please. you're so perfect, like—mm—like the—the—mm!" silence his attempts at poetry, won't you?

"baby, baby," you'd have to soothe him with, punctuating each sweet name with a deep thrust, pressing into all the spots that make him writhe. "my pretty boy."

of course, he'd deny it; i wouldn't expect anything different. but quiet him more: shake your head at him and frown, gentle and not at all unkind, and kiss away his "no, no."

"but kaz," you'll say. "you're so, so pretty. so perfect f'r me." his hands, fallen from your cheeks, would claw at your back as he'd be left to squirm and cry in the arms of yours that trap him against the bed.

simply put: there is nowhere for him to go, to get away from your sweet, sweet words.

i guess you'll have to up the stakes. how awful, truly.

"c'mon, pretty," you'll coo, instead, slowing your thrusts to a torturous drag. "tell me something, will you?"

"w-what?"

with a mischievous grin, you'll have to murmur, "tell me you're pretty." then, "until you do, you're not gunna cum." 

i wish i could see the way his eyes would widen at that—betrayed, as if you had told him he wouldn't cum at all. but you'll hardly give him the time to reflect on your words—to deny them, to say anything different—, because you'd be thrusting in hard and deep and brushing against all the right places. he'll writhe and cry beneath you, and, god.

kazuha is so, so pretty: why can't he see that?

"i—mm, please, i'm so close . . ."

"you can't cum, though," you'd have to say, reaching a hand down against your words to hurry him along. his body'll jerk in your arms, torn between succumbing to the pleasure yet wanting to be good for you, to not cum just yet.

"i can't," he'll cry, shaking his head side to side and jerking on the pillow. "i can't."

when he gets too close, do something for me: reach down and pinch at his pelvis, so close yet so far to where he wants it. "yes, you can;" you'll have to soothe him with sweet words, hard n' deep thrusts. "you're my pretty boy, kaz, tell me you're pretty."

"i—i—"

"c'mon." he'd be so close, by then, twitching everywhere and left to dig into your shoulder blades. the marks he leaves across your upper back will be gorgeous, later. "you can do it, honey. c'mon."

relenting is not easy for kazuha: this you know.

but you'll also know that it's harder to stave off an orgasm for him. and so—when his hole begins to squeeze and throb around you—, he would finally cry out, "'m pretty—!" and tumble headfirst into orgasm.

just—pretty boy kazuha (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠) <33

11 FEB. 2024, @rosedom, rosey .

#ㅤ✦【 ASKS 】 #pretty boys ought to know they're pretty #god !! #sub kazuha #kazuha x reader #dom reader #top reader #amab reader #u have a working cck . #sub genshin #genshin smut

[cynosfunnyjokes]

kinktober day 11

ship: kazuha x reader

theme: riding

notes: lmaooo late again oops. p sure i never mentioned a gender for reader. MINORS, DNI. 18+ CONTENT.

word count: 805

soft and breathy grunts escaped from kazuha’s kiss-swollen lips with every bounce of your hips against his. the way your warm walls clenched perfectly around his achingly hard cock did wonders for him.

“dove..” he grunted out, voice still as soft as falling leaves, “if you’re getting tired, i can-“

you cut him off with a swift kiss to his lips and a shake of your head, “i’ve got it, kaz.” you said, moving your hips as fast as you could without tiring yourself out.

oh, how his hands itched to grip your thighs to drag you along at a brutal pace- but he didn’t. he complied with your wish of the night.

kazuha had had a bad day in general, and the moment you caught wind of it, you were all over him. he enjoyed the coddling- any affection from you always brightened his day. and the way you asked to take charge? hot as hell.

his hands rested loosely on your hips, fingers pressing into the plush skin as you continued to bounce on his cock. but even he could tell it was starting to tire you out.

you usually didn’t take charge in the bedroom since he preferred to be the one taking over. his prep play and aftercare were enough to make your heart swell- but you also felt so guilty.

why wouldn’t you? your loving boyfriend did all of these sweet things for you. not even just in the bedroom either. but when trying to do something nice back, he usually turned it away with one of his charming smiles and poetic words.

“my love.” he tried again, blinking up at you through white eyelashes, “i can take over if needed- i don’t want you to get tired out-“

you whined, not halting the movements of your hips, “kazu, i’ve got it..” your voice was shaky with moans, hands balled into fists on kazuha’s chest, “‘m just.. tryin’ t’make you feel good..”

his scarlet eyes softened in awe as he took in your crestfallen expression. with a smile, he sat up with his back now supported by the headboard of the bed.

a bandaged hand moved to caress your cheek as the other halted your movements, forcing you to look at him.

“hey,” he whispered, finally understanding what was going on, “you’re doing amazing, my love. you already make me feel good in so many ways.. i just don’t want you to tire yourself out.”

you whined softly, bottom lip poking out ever so slightly, “but..”

“no buts.” kazuha hummed, hands moving down to your hips. he knew how stubborn you could be and he was determined to show you that you still made him feel good even when he helped out.

unconsciously, you clenched around his cock and he groaned softly, “do you need me to take over fully, my love?”

you shook your head and took in a deep, shaky breath before starting to move your hips again, rolling them and bouncing on his cock in a rhythm that left both of you breathless.

kazuha’s hands gripped your hips, pressing into the soft skin as he helped you keep the pace.

a few breathy groans left his lips, eyes fluttering shut from the feeling of your walls fluttering around him. burying his face to your neck, he kissed and sucked at the skin, occasionally leaving little nibbles.

you keened, clenching around him again, “kaz-“ you moaned, cocking your head to give better access to your neck.

he knew you were getting close just from your little signs and body language- and he was getting close as well.

with a small whine, you came, clenching hard around kazuha’s cock. he grunted and thrusted up a few times, burying himself as deep as he could before cumming.

he groaned out your name, lips attaching to your neck as his hands gripped your hips.

panting filled the room as you both sat there, but no one spoke for a moment.

kazuha was the first to break the silence, “i love you, dove..” he whispered against the marked skin of your neck, “you’re my world..”

you hummed, hands moving to run through his white hair, twirling the red streak, “i love you too, kazuha.”

he moved to get up and you raised an eyebrow.

“i’m going to get a rag to clean us up and…” he started but was cut off by your hand pressing lightly over his mouth.

“let me take care of it.” you smiled before pecking his cheek and standing up.

kazuha watched in awe as you cleaned everything up, eyes softening with nothing but adoration. while he preferred to take charge, he couldn’t help but enjoy being taken care of this time.

it was something new- but it was a new experience he would welcome with open arms.

#cynosfunnyjokes writes #cynosfunnyjokes #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction writer #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin fanfic #gender neutral reader #smut #kinktober 2023 #kinktober #genshin kazuha #kazuha smut #kaedehara kazuha #kazuha x reader #kazuha x you #kazuha x y/n #kaedehara x reader #kaedehara x you #genshin kaedehara #sub kazuha #dom reader #gender neutral insert #reader #genshin smut

[iamthemain-character]

Sankt Milo

platonic! The Crows x reader

gender neutral pronouns (reader is referred to as “you” and the occasional “Y/n”)

TW: show-based, non-canon compliant, 2014-Avengers-Tower-fic-type of writing

a/n: milo is my favorite character. that’s all.

Shadow and Bone Masterlist

You had been absent for almost a week.

Sunday afternoon, you simply disappeared from the club and hadn’t returned since. The only reason the Crows hadn’t completely panicked yet was because you had left notes for all of them saying you had to leave but you would return (each with a special indication that you did not write this as you were being kidnapped). Nonetheless, The Crow Club felt emptier without you, and each member missed you terribly.

It was storming late that Friday, and after closing the club post-another successful night, all 6 crows were gathered around a table, enjoying a drink together. With a clap of thunder the group heard the back door slam open, then shut again. Everyone drew their weapons, hearing heavy footsteps slosh their way across the wooden floors. A figure, cloaked in shadow, stopped in the entryway from the storage rooms, and everyone waited with baited breath to strike.

With a flash of lightning, the figure’s shadows were cast aside, revealing you. A very drenched and bedraggled you, but you nonetheless.

“Y/n!” 5 voices cried out.

“Milo!” Jesper’s voice carried over the others, for even more astonishing than your return was the furry, black and white animal you carried in your arms.

The Zemeni man quickly crossed the room, but not without Nina, Inej, and Wylan on his heels. The latter three took your hands, throwing a dry blanket over your shoulders and Jesper carefully took the goat from your arms, pressing kisses to it’s head over and over.

“Oh Milo, I have thought of you every day.”

The group helped you sit down at the table, bringing more towels and blankets, and Kaz pouring you a strong drink. But despite your shivering, you couldn’t help the smile that cracked across your face as you watched your friend reunited with his emotional support goat old friend.

Wylan turned to you, an incredulous look on his face. “That’s Milo?”

Nina and Matthias had matching confused expressions on their faces, but it was Nina who spoke up. “So did you disappear without a trace for the goat or was that just a happy accident? Also why is Jesper in love with a goat?”

With a laugh, some help from Inej, and some quips from Kaz, you told the newer Crows of the treacherous and disastrous journey the group had taken through The Fold and how Jesper had formed a trauma-bond with this particular goat.

Jesper came back to your table, Milo still clutched in his arms, just as you were explaining yourself.

“Jesper was so sad to say goodbye to Milo, and I just wanted to get him back. But I didn’t want to tell you guys that’s what I was doing in case I wasn’t successful. But thankfully that sweet barmaid had sent him to her father’s farm, and I was able to buy him back.”

“Please tell me you didn’t spend too much for that goat.” Kaz’s voice cut, head turned with his classic look of disapproval.

No longer able to be scared by Dirtyhands, you waved him off. “No price is too much for our little Milo.” With a smirk you turned back to the club owner, “Perhaps we should rename this place The Goat Club?”

The table roared with laughter at the pure look of disgust upon Kaz’s face at your simple suggestion. Inej reached across and scratched Milo’s chin, a smile upon her face. “That’s not so bad, after all, Milo is like our own little Saint.”

Nina clasped her hands together, delighted at the Suli girl’s suggestion. “Sankt Milo! Oh how perfect. I am all for the changing of the name.”

Kaz’s voice broke through the laughter. “We are not changing the name, and we are not keeping it.”

Despite what he said, Wylan found himself grateful for Jesper’s arms around him as they fell asleep, because otherwise the former feared he would have fallen of the edge of the bed. Somehow, one small goat seemed to take up half the bed.

And even though Kaz swore that the goat would be sold in the morning, everyone turned a blind eye when he placed a plate of waffles down for Milo in the morning.

That was, everyone turned a blind eye until Nina realized they were her waffles.

#shadow and bone #season 2 shadow and bone #netflix shadow and bone #the crows #six of crows #the crow club #sankt milo #milo the goat #jesper fahey x reader #kaz brekker x reader #inej ghafa x reader #wylan van eck x reader #nina zenik x reader #matthias helvar x reader #the crows x reader

[lady-ashfade]

Reaction/HC’s: Aura reading reader.

Characters: Kaz brekker, nina zenik

Prompt: Using your powers on them for the first time.

Notes: Pictured female reader, this can be read as romantic if you want out up to that, the reader being sweet and kind. I could do more like this! (Pretty sure I use female terms)

Warnings: Panic attacks, comfort, little bit of angst

Kaz brekker:

Kaz hated when you first started working for him, he liked to keep his emotions to himself and never let anyone see them. But then here you are who can sense them without trying, he made you swear to never read any of his thoughts and to keep him so far away from your thoughts.

But when he heard of you it was just perfect, a new talent to have on his team. You could add so much and make thinks much easier. He had to make you one of his crows.

You kept your promise to him and never looked into his feelings or thought, to your abilities. He was a strange man to you and you wanted to figure him out, but you didn’t use your powers. You swore to do it yourself.

But at times he was just to loud. His emotions taking over himself and you couldn’t push the thoughts away. It was usually anger and sorrow, not the best mix. He was always angry but more times then others.

But as the two of you grew together and he began to trust you. He was more then a boss, the others more then friends, they were your family.

Sitting in your room calmly reading a book, your back pressed to the wall as your scan the pages. Then the overwhelming feeling of panic filled your body, out of nowhere you begin to gasp for air. Your head light and spinning around as your lungs and stomach dropped.

That’s when you knew it was kaz.

His room was right next to yours, clearly he was having a panic attack and it was so strong for you to feel. Making your way out of bed and out the room to see him, you burst open his door and look for him. “Kaz?” His body dropped on the floor as he pressed a hand to his heart, it was a hard sight.

“Kaz, it’s okay. I can help,” dropping to your knees you move just a few inch forward and staying away from him. You didn’t want to spook him. “I know it’s hard right now and the world is caving in, I need you to look at me okay.” You hated the pain in your heart but you calmed yourself quickly as to help him.

His eyes finding yours slowly, his breaths getting louder and louder. “I can ease your mind, make you calm down. Can I do that?” Asking him softly. It surprised you when a few seconds later his head nodded and his eyes closed, he was feeling guilt in that second.

After you had calm him down you sat back and took a breath as he tried to catch his. Sweat dripped down his hair and face, his shoulders rising and falling. But he was calm. Just too much for him to handle. He looked over at you when he collected himself, “Thank you.”

You turn to him and smile, “Kaz brekker, I didn’t mean to make you that calm. You never say those words.” He rolled his eyes and his face went back to its normal expression. “I will never do it again.” You laughed at his reply. “Kaz, I will always help when I can. I mean that is what you pay me for,” you grin as he looks into your eyes, “But you’re welcome.”

You could almost see a soft smile on his lips as he stares at you, almost.

“Never speak a word about this to everyone, or the only thing you will feel is pain.” 

“Glad to see you’re back to normal, boss.”

Nina zenik:

She understood to a level of what you must feel like. The heartrender was overall so fascinated by what you could do but felt sorry for you at times. Sometimes it was easy for her to hear someone else heartbeat if it was too fast.

She could also tell what someone might feel just my listening to their hearts, but you went beyond that. It was beautiful to her.

She took a liking to you from the moment she met you, you were nothing but kind. She felt protective over you, she was by far your best friend.

Nina asked you a lot of questions about what you could do and how it works, showing you what she could do as well. Often you went on walks together with just her being a listening ear or you being her output.

Needless to say she understood you completely, she was offended worried for your well being. Always feeling what others feel, hearing their wants or sorrow, must be hard for you. But you assured her that it was very few moments where you get beyond overwhelmed. You stayed in your room at the crow club and only went out for jobs, but you felt happy to know she was by your side.

The wind blowing her hair and yours, the cold breeze cooling your warm skin as the moon shined down. She was sitting right next to you with a bottle in her hand as she giggled at a joke you two had said.

“What’s it like, in Kaz’s mind?” She asked curiously. You shrugged and smiled, “I try not to listen or think about it. But I can say most of the time he feels how he looks, that’s all I wish to say.” Taking the bottle from her hand you took a sip.

She hummed in response and looked out into the small patch of grass, it was nice to take a breath. “What’s it like for me?” Turning her head to look at you, her eyes filled with wonder and curiosity. You smile at her softly and looked away for a moment thinking of what to say.

“I don’t go into people heads unless I’m asked, unless I can’t control it. But,” leaning back on your hands. “You’re offended a comfort to be around, it’s like your happy a lot. Just smiling and enjoying things when you can, especially around food. But there times…” you paused and shook your head to not go any further.

“But what? You can’t just stop like that.” She shouted and pushed her shoulders against yours playfully mad. You laughed in defeat. “Fine, don’t beat me up.” Throwing your hands up.

 “You get sad, defeated and it’s easy for me to feel. Then the only thing I hear is his name, like your mind is only speaking of him. I understand it though, but I want you to know we will get him out.” You place your hand on hers.

She stayed quiet and her emotions dropped, you knew you shouldn’t have said anything. “Look I’m sorry- I shouldn’t have said it, I know it’s hard for you to-”

“Make me feel like he’s with me again.”

You stopped and looked at her as her eyes begged you. Then hand you held gripped yours, “Please.” She whispered. “Nina…” you sighed as her eyes glanced over your face. Her sad eyes pleading for a release from the pain and to feel that light again.

“Lay down.” You caved in and she smiled and did as you said quickly and her mood getting better. “Think of a memory you have of him, something only of joy. Just focus on the good things.” She closed her eyes and you place your hand on her head, closing your eyes as well.

The sound of laughing and muffled talking, the feeling of warmth and happiness overflowed within you. You brought out the feeling of her body just like the memories in her mind like she was truly their again.

You heard her giggle from below you and her body move, only living in the past. You felt happy you could do this for her even if it was temporary. She stayed like that for a few minutes of just comfort, like he was with her again.

Thank the saints for you.

#nina zenik x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone x reader

[sophierequests]

Hi! If I can't describe how much I love ur writing and how talented you are but may I request something? The reader is the definition of 'sweetheart' and they're from Ravka and misses home and even if they don't want to leave Kaz side, he still sends them to travel with Inej (even if it painful for him) and after staying there for a while they one day surprise him at his office and Kaz is just so happy. You don't have to write it by the way, take your time and take care<3 thank you

right where you left me

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

A/N: Aww, thank you so much <3 That's so sweet! I hope you like this too :D I procratinated a bit and had the draft sitting in my Google Docs for quite some time, but I finally had enough time/motivation to get it done. Also, my exam phase has started, so content in general may come out a little bit slower <3

Summary: Kaz sends the reader off to go travel with Inej, but didn't expect him missing them this much.

Genre: Hurt/Comfort elements, but mainly Fluff (???)

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: Poor (barely any) proofreading, mention of drinking and being drunk, forgetting to eat

“Inej!” you squealed as the familiar frame of your friend slipped into the living room. A wide smile graced her vibrant face as she opened her arms to engulf you in a tight hug. It had been roughly four months since she last docked in Ketterdam, so you were barely able to contain your excitement of finally seeing her again. 

“Missed me?” she laughed as she pulled away, letting her gaze wander from you to an almost contended-looking Kaz. The rare sight of a genuine smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, accompanied by something dangerously close to a blush while he purposefully avoided her knowing glances. He looked like a besotted teenage boy, and it was hard not to notice.

Of course Inej knew the cause of this. She had known both of you long enough to be painfully aware of the effect you had on him; the effect you had on each other. You were intoxicating, a brief smile or laugh made him stumble even deeper into his dependency on you. And how could he not? You were the sun personified; warm and gentle and far too kind. He had told her once that he considered letting you go; you were all too good for the Barrel, and he couldn’t allow it to swallow you whole - the same as it had him. But it was clear that he’d never bring himself to do so. It was an act of complete selfishness to keep you here. He needed you to be around. He needed to know that you were around. The thought of you being out of his reach - albeit mainly metaphorically - unsettled him.

“They dragged me out of my office in the middle of a heist plan to sit here and wait for you to arrive. I suppose ‘missing you’ doesn’t quite cut it,” Kaz commented dryly, rolling his shoulders in a futile attempt to regain his composure.

“You were closer to falling asleep at your desk than getting anywhere with that damned heist planning, Brekker. Don’t act like you didn’t appreciate me forcing you to take care of yourself every once in a while.” His mouth opened for a split second, another one of his sarcastic comments starting to form on the tip of his tongue. He quickly swallowed it after Inej gave him an endearing grin.

You had intended to say something else in response to Kaz’s unusual silence to your light-hearted jabs, but suddenly, you remembered a conversation you had a few days prior. “Oh! Do you mind if I leave you two alone for a bit? I promised Jes to notify him the second you arrive.” You leaned a bit closer toward Inej, acting as if you were about to tell her something no one else was allowed to hear. “I think it’s about his plan to propose to Wylan soon, but you don’t know that from me. He thinks he’s being sly, but he really isn’t.”

Inej laughed, shaking her head before sending you off with a faint slap to the shoulder. You were out of the room before Kaz could put in his two cents.

When they heard the resounding click of the main door being shut, they knew that they were truly alone now. Anyone else would have been uneasy at the thought of being in the same room with the Bastard of the Barrel without having some other sort of company. But in this light, even the infamous Dirtyhands was nothing more but a lovesick boy, fully at the mercy of a person that held his heart in an undeniably firm grasp. 

“How long can we expect you to stay in Ketterdam?” He knew exactly what she would ask him if he hadn’t started the conversation first, so he did everything in his power to keep her from speaking his feelings into reality.

She sauntered over to the table, taking the seat across from him with an exaggerated sigh. “Two weeks.” Her hands were idly clasped together in front of her, making it appear like she was trying to strike up a business deal instead of having an amicable chat with an old friend. "How long can we expect you to wait until you finally confess to them?” 

Her bluntness definitely startled him more than he cared to admit. It wasn’t every day that someone dared to talk to him like that. “I don’t see how this topic has any relevance in our current conversation,” he mumbled, averting his gaze to look basically anywhere else but her eyes.

“If you say so,” she snorted, still opting to not create any unwanted tension on her first day of being back.

“Where will you be headed after these two weeks?”

A sheepish smile crept onto her face as she contemplated his question. “I received news from Sturmhond that would like to have a chat about the recent slaver fleets I… took care of. We’ll be docking in Os Kervo for quite some time. I’ll probably also meet up with Nina after she’s back from Fjerda. I haven't seen her in so long.”

“Ravka…” he sighed, his thoughts involuntarily landing back on you again.

Even though he couldn’t find much beauty in the vast Ravkan countryside and its ill-constructed cities or palaces, he knew that you missed your home dearly. You had been homesick ever since he had offered you to work with the Crows long-term, and he began to feel bad for rarely ever acknowledging it. At first, he had expected you to get over it eventually, but the more time he spent with you, the more he was assured that this wouldn’t be the case. Hypothetically, he could offer you to take a few weeks off to see your home and family. He’d need to find an appropriate excuse to let you go this easily, but lying had never been a weakness of his. However, this idea would also entail not seeing you for at least a handful of weeks, and he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want to do that.

“Y/N is going to be so happy to hear that I’ll be staying there for a bit. I promised them to check in on their family if I ever got the chance to go to Ravka,” Inej smiled woefully, knowing that merely hearing about your parents would probably already make you miss them more. “They gave me some letters for them when I last left Ketterdam. Now I finally have the chance to giv-”

“How much additional trouble would it be to take someone else with you?” Kaz interjected suddenly, schooling his expression in order to not betray the apprehension lingering behind his eyes.

“What?” 

“Has the air pressure at sea made you go deaf? How much trouble would it be to have an unplanned passenger with you? At least until you arrive in Os Alta. Well, and preferably also on your way back.” 

The hesitant, but defensive, tone in his voice told Inej everything she needed to know, but she still decided to entertain his implied suggestion. “It wouldn’t be any trouble. Well, depending on whom this 'unplanned passenger' might be."

“Good.” He paused, internally questioning whether this decision would be the right one to make. It was clear that it was what he needed to do, but he wasn't sure if he had the strength to go through with it. "Then I'd like to make a request, Captain Ghafa."

"You request I take Y/N with me when I leave for Ravka." He mentally shooed away the frown that threatened to crease his face. She was right, that was exactly what he wanted to ask her. But hearing her say the words out loud forced the vague idea to manifest into reality. And knowing that she could read him this easily deflated his ego quite a bit.

"Yes. I want you to take them with you. Let them see something else than the Barrel. Let them go home to their family. And…" And bring them back home, back to me, his mind finished.

Inej tilted her head to the side ever so slightly, biting away the impulse of asking him to continue his sentence. Instead, she opted to ask something different, “Are you sure?”

“Sure of what? Letting them go with you? I’m certain they’ll be able to handle themself just fine. If you thi-”

“Are you sure that you’re okay with letting them go?” His fingers flexed around his cup, visibly trying to hide the concern this comment had installed in him.

“It’s not like I’m letting them go forever, Inej,” he retorted, his voice sounding terribly unsure. “I trust you to bring them back safely on your next journey to Ketterdam.”

“That’s not what I meant, Kaz. Don’t act dense.” She was testing his limits and she knew it, yet she still continued. “We’ll be gone for multiple months. They’ll be gone for multiple months. And, as much as I hate to say it, there’s still the possibility of them choosing to stay with their family. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

He hadn’t thought of her last point. Would you really consider not coming back to Ketterdam? Deep down he knew that there was nothing that kept you here. The Crows weren’t a set team anymore, you’d probably have no issues finding a new job in Ravka, and it wasn’t like he and you were in a relationship. If you wanted to leave, you could pack up tomorrow without having to worry about anything else but your next pay cheque. And knowing Kaz, you likely wouldn’t even have to worry about that either.

“I could give them a year off if that would be needed. I can take care of myself just fine, no matter whether they are here or not,” Kaz evaded the actual meaning of Inej’s words with much more clumsiness than he had hoped to convey. “And as long as they’re still working with me, I’ll at least expect them to come back to break off their contract.”

“Very well then. I suppose the Wraith has an additional passenger when we next leave the harbour.” She gave him a tight nod as a sort of confirmation. An unsaid promise to keep you safe. “You’ll be the one to tell them though. I’m not willing - nor able - to explain how deep your soft spot for them actually goes.”

“I do not have a soft spot for them.”

“You do not have a soft spot for whom?” Jesper’s overly cheery voice appeared at the threshold of the door, his breath ragged and cheeks flushed by the torturous climb up the stairs.

“No one,” Kaz and Inej answered almost synchronously, earning a slightly befuddled scowl from the antsy sharpshooter.

“Alright, alright, I was just asking.” He held up his hands defensively, dropping them as soon as you squeezed past him. Thankfully, you arrived just in time to miss their little squabble. “Anyway, look who’s back!” His attention flickered completely towards Inej, immediately moving towards her to trap her in his ramblings. 

Kaz took that as his cue to leave them to it. “Y/N? I have something to talk to you about. Follow me.” He didn’t wait for you to give him a vocal response, turning on his heel to take the last few stairs up to his office. Nevertheless, reluctant footsteps echoed behind him as he entered his tidy office space.

Wordlessly, he sat down behind his desk, gesturing for you to take the seat across from him. Suddenly, everything felt uncomfortably stiff. It wasn’t at all like sitting at the living room table and talking to you just for the sake of it. But this was business after all, he thought begrudgingly.

“What is it you wanted to talk to me about?” you inquired slowly, accepting the offered seat with one leg tucked underneath you. He could sense the fear you emitted and it made him wonder what you were expecting him to say.

“Inej will leave for Ravka in two weeks,” he stated matter-of-factly. He needed to flush this out of his system as emotionless as possible, or else he might not be able to watch you go. A clean cut heals faster. “I want you to go with her.” It was foolish to hope that you would have no follow-up questions to a remark this sudden.

“You want me to leave?” You straightened your back, eyes wide and brows furrowed. His point clearly flew right over your head.

“No, I mean, yes.” The grave he was beginning to dig for himself looked more comfortable than genuinely having to finish this conversation. “I want you to go with her so that you can see your family. She already ensured that it would be no problem to take you with her, in case you worry about what she thinks about it.”

“My family? Why? I don’t understand?” Unease began to seep through you. Did something happen? Did he know something you didn’t? 

He heaved a sigh, making a steeple of his fingers, a futile attempt to keep his hands in order. “You’ve been distracted lately.” He held up his hand to dismiss your incoming attempt at defending yourself. “And I don’t blame you; you’re homesick. I can’t force you to stay here, and if you miss your home, I can only advise you to take the trip.”

“Kaz, I can’t possibly leave for what could end up being months. This is still my job,” you had to stifle a chuckle, thinking that all of this was some sort of tasteless joke.

“And I’m still your boss. Hence why I am free to give you as much time off as you need to reconnect with your family." Even if it ends up in you choosing to leave permanently. 

“Why would you do that?” You couldn’t quite grasp his reasons. As far as you knew, your performance hadn’t decreased, you weren’t to blame for a job failing, and you didn’t give him any reason to doubt your usefulness. There had to be something more to it.

“A distracted Crow is a dead one.” And I don’t want to lose you like this. “A bit of time away from the Barrel would do you some good. I expect you to be well-rested and fully functional once you return.” I want you to be happy when you return. If you choose to do so.

You stared at him for a bit longer, unable to form any coherent sentence that wouldn’t make you want to start crying. There was a foreign roundness to his words; something almost akin to kindness. He had never been cruel to you, but an offer this grand exceeded your expectations.

“Thank you,” you managed to force out without having your voice shiver or quake. “I mean it, Kaz. Thank you.” He had half-expected you to stand up and go back downstairs after agreeing to his offer. However, you stayed seated, a glint of hesitation pooling in your eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving? I really don’t want to give you more work by be-”

“Y/N,” he warned, resisting the urge to chide you for your distrust in his decision-making. “I want you to take this time off. It’s fine. I’m not bargaining for what I can’t handle.”

“I just wanted to make sure.” Your previously perplexed expression was replaced by a playful grin, indicating that the majority of your doubts had ebbed away by now. “Just in case I have to brace myself for a mountain of letters begging me to come back.”

“In your dreams.”

Both Kaz and you were quite startled by how quickly the two weeks trickled by. Inej stayed at the Slat during her time in Ketterdam, spending her days joining you on heists, playing the engagement planner for Jesper and Wylan, and just barely surviving all that unresolved romantic tension between you and Kaz.

The evening before you were supposed to leave, Wylan and Jesper invited you to some sort of farewell party for you and Inej. It was terribly cheesy, especially since everyone’s favourite sharpshooter decided to amp up his theatrics to the max. You occasionally had to remind him that you were not leaving forever and that you’d most definitely be back in a few months. 

When you returned to your own room, the only thing you wanted to do was sleep. It had been a long day spent packing and finishing the few last tasks that Kaz had given you. The anticipation of being only mere days away from seeing your family again had ebbed away, replaced by exhaustion and worry. Not the worry of going back to Ravka; it was the worry of leaving Kaz behind without anyone to take care of him. It was a foolish fear, the man was old enough to survive a few months of being left alone. And in reality, he wouldn’t be alone. Jesper and Wylan would still be right around the corner in case he needed anything. But you knew that it wouldn’t be the same without you. And he knew it too.

Before you could finally crawl into the comfort of your bed, you were forced to pause. Right in the dead centre of your mattress laid something shiny, haphazardly covered by a folded piece of parchment. You were hesitant to touch it at first, mentally assessing the possibility of it being a trap. However, your curiosity overtook your cautious stance. 

You swatted the paper to the side, revealing a stunning dagger you didn’t recognise. The black handle was covered in intricate lines and symbols, making the whole weapon a piece of art in its own right. You pulled the dagger out of its shaft, revealing a slim, double-edged blade that looked almost too delicate to cause any serious harm. 

After putting the knife down next to you, you picked up the piece of paper, carefully unfolding it in hopes of finding out who might’ve left it there. You didn’t even need to read the few scribbled words to get an answer to that. 

“While I do believe that you’ll be fine on your own, consider this an added layer of safety.

Safe travels,

K.B.”

It felt unreal. The same man that didn’t shrink away from ripping somebody else’s eyes out or bashing another person’s head in with his cane was now willing to send you off to your home country and gift you a pretty little dagger under the ruse of wanting you to be able to defend yourself. It made you giddy. 

Quickly, you shoved the knife into one of the side pockets of your bag, folding the note and tucking it away into the front pockets of your coat. He would probably sneer at you for holding onto something as worthless as a hastily written note, but to you, this meant the world.

On the day of your departure, the sky was thickly covered by a widespread sheet of dark storm clouds, announcing the approach of an upcoming storm. Perfect weather to embark on a ship for a week-long trip, you thought. You had packed everything you might need into the biggest bag you owned, which hung heavily on your shoulder as you approached the harbour. Inej’s small and compact travel bag next to yours made it seem like you were trying to abandon Ketterdam at once, rather than simply taking a short vacation to see your parents.

Much to Inej’s dismay, Kaz had decided to stay in his office, using the excuse of ‘having too much work’ and ‘not being able to indulge in matters this minuscule’. She could only scoff at that response but decided to not engage in his self-loathing musings. Her main focus was on getting you accustomed to her crew and the life on deck, so she couldn’t waste too much time thinking about a brooding emotionally stunted teenager.

You weren’t all that bothered by the fact that he stayed back. What Inej didn’t know was that he did say goodbye to you. Just in a very Kaz way. 

“So, Captain Ghafa,” you smiled, putting a lot of emphasis on her title. “Where’s our first stop?”

The loneliness was terrible. It shouldn’t be terrible. He had been alone all those years before you showed up and managed just fine. Why did he let it bother him so much now? 

But you didn’t know them all those years ago. You didn’t know what their absence felt like, so how could you have missed it? The nagging voice inside his head ridiculed him constantly. And the worst part was, that it was completely right.

He let his bare hand rake through his unruly hair, dropping it onto the table quite harshly as he began running out of things to put his focus on. Everything he did or thought of somehow circled back to you. Whenever he sat down at his desk to work, he imagined you sitting on the sofa across from him, skipping through one of his books while occasionally looking up at him with a bright smile on your lips. He couldn’t even eat breakfast in peace, because every time he entered the kitchen and the smell of freshly brewed coffee entered his nose, he wanted you to be the one sitting at the table, already having his cup sitting across from you. Three weeks was all that it took to make him regret all of the well-intentioned decisions he made in the spur of the moment.

Since rearranging the documents in front of him didn’t give him any sort of distraction, he decided to occupy his mind with something different. Well, a different stack of work: the upkeep of the Crow Club.

The club wasn’t busy during this time of the day, mainly filled with the usual day drinkers and gamblers that would waste their money until the early hours of the next morning. He let his gaze wander over the few occupied gambling tables and booths, taking in all the familiar and unfamiliar faces before weaving his way through the room. When he passed the bar, he had to do a double take to confirm that the person currently chatting up the bartender wasn’t you. He stopped dead in his tracks, unable to pry his eyes away from the scene in front of him.

That was until he heard his name being called, instantly snapping him out of his stupor. Jesper and Wylan sat only a few barstools away from him, amusedly waving him over to join them in whatever senseless discussion they had currently going on. Against his better judgement, he strolled over to them. He was in desperate need of a distraction. Any type of distraction.

“How close to insanity are you?” Maybe not that type of distraction.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Jesper,” Kaz warned, leaning his back against the counter and closing his eyes. 

The two boys exchanged a knowing smile, fully intending on using this situation to annoy their friend. Jesper loosened his grip on the full shot glass, smoothly sliding it over to Kaz. Maybe a little bit of alcohol could remove the stick up his ass. “Their absence has taken a toll on you, hasn’t it?”

Kaz grunted in dismay, picking up the shot glass and downing it in one swift motion. A muscle in his jaw popped as he clenched his jaw, wallowing in the usually welcome feeling of sharp bitter alcohol running down his throat. Now, drinking just felt like a cheap means to an end. 

But at least it was a mean to an end. Without thinking about it, he ordered more alcohol.

“Y’know, they would definitely tell you off for drinking this early,” Wylan chuckled, immediately regretting it after seeing the disgruntled glare Kaz passed him. 

“Their opinion doesn’t concern me. I have other, more important, things to take into consideration.” He tried so hard to be convincing, however, Jesper’s excruciatingly loud snort told him that that ship had sailed, wrecked and sunk to the bottom of the True Sea in a matter of seconds. 

“For a man that lies for a living, you’re quite shit at it,” the sharpshooter chuckled, shaking his head disapprovingly while Kaz continued to sulk. It was honestly painful to watch. “Admit it, you miss them.”

“Whatever armchair psychology you’re currently trying to submit me to is not working. I don’t have any deeper feelings for them than I have for the other people that work with me, so watch your tone.” The bartender placed a fresh glass of whiskey next to him, setting it down quite loudly to get him to register it. Kaz didn’t even spare him one look before putting the whole thing to his lips. He hoped that occupying himself with something other than talking would stop him from vocalising his honest thoughts.

“No one ever implied that you had feelings for them. But how telling that that’s the first thing you get so defensive about.” Jesper gave him a shameless grin, knowing that he had most definitely won the unspoken argument between them. “And, just so you know, whatever it is you’re feeling, they’re very likely to reciprocate it.” He flashed him a playful wink when he finished talking. It was the best kind of pep-talk he could offer, and it probably fell on deaf ears anyway.

“Don’t you have literally anything else to do? Anything that does not involve getting on my last nerve,” Kaz grumbled, finishing his drink and attempting to push himself away from the counter. However, when he tried to do so, he suddenly felt very light-headed, his body almost beginning to topple forward. His hand moved to cling to the edge of the counter, steadying himself almost desperately. The alcohol must have gotten to his head way quicker than expected. 

“Woah, hold on there!” Jesper slid off his stool, holding his arms out in front of his friend to cushion the expected fall. “Are you okay, Kaz?”

“Are you drunk?” Wylan added with a bit too much delight in his voice. 

“Nonsense, I barely had anything to drink,” he tried to defend himself, futilely.

“What did you have for breakfast then?” 

Breakfast. He didn’t have breakfast. He didn’t have breakfast since you left. Normally, you would have made sure to drag him down to the kitchen if need be. Without you, he simply forgot. If you’d get wind of this, you’d probably have a field day.

Inej had told him that it could take months for you to come back. She had explicitly warned him about the prospect of not seeing you for quite some time. Yet somehow, he hadn’t expected it to be genuinely true. 

Your departure was six long and torturous months ago, and his mind was running wild whenever an unknown ship docked at Fifth Harbour. Time passed, and it didn’t - it won’t - stop, no matter how hard he tried.

He had even attempted to contact Inej once in the hopes of getting a rough estimate of when he could expect you to return, but of course, the message was promptly returned to the sender. At this point, he wasn’t certain whether he’d ever get to see you again; the mere thought of you deciding to stay in Ravka pained him, but there was still a small twinge of hope, tying him to the idea of you coming back to him.

Another day without you passed, and Kaz had decided - well, Jesper forced him - to get out of his office, dragging him down to the club and into one of the booths to waste the evening drinking and exchanging stories. It was a small distraction from the constant anxiety rushing through him, but it was appreciated nonetheless. 

Until a very unbothered Rotty stalked towards their table, acting as if he was a misbehaving schoolboy that had been sent up to the headmaster’s office. “We have news from the Wraith,” he muttered, retrieving a folded note from the front pocket of his coat. The words made Kaz’s head spin, but the solemn look on Rotty’s face made him pause. 

Hesitantly, he took the piece of paper from his hands, waiting for the messenger to leave before he opened it. Jesper and Wylan stopped their chatter, almost holding their breaths in anticipation while they watched every micro-expression that washed over their friend’s face.

Kaz sighed when he took in the words in front of him. Even though he hadn’t expected anything, he still felt disappointed in what he got. The entire note was just an utterly impersonal notice, telling him that it would take her at least three more months to return to Ketterdam. There was no mention of your well-being or whereabouts, no note on how to contact you, nothing. 

“And? When will you be reunited with your- ow! Wylan, what was that for?” 

“Just shut it, Jes!” 

“They won’t be back for at least another three months,” he let out a huffed breath, tucking the piece of paper away in his breast pocket. Dismay was written all over his face as he stared down at this glass, unable to form a coherent thought that was not somewhat related to you.

Everyone knew the thoughts that clouded Kaz’s mind; mainly thoughts of you not coming back. Jesper wanted to say something encouraging, but the words died in his throat as soon as they formed. Instead, he quickly decided to change the topic, rambling on about some unimportant Ketterdam gossip Kaz wasn’t all that interested in. He still sat through it though.

On his way back to the Slat, he thought about all the work that would be waiting for him once he reached his office. Any other sensible person would have gone to bed by now, but he was far from being one, so sleeping was not an option. 

He trudged up the creaky staircase with heavy steps, alerting everyone unfortunate enough to be awake of his presence. His bad leg felt like an anchor that kept pulling him down to the ground, his hand occasionally having to press down on a sore spot when the pain got too unbearable.

It took him way longer than usual to reach the top of the stairs, heaving a harsh sigh when he saw the faint flicker of a light fanning out from underneath his office door. He couldn’t even be trusted to turn off his damned lamps now, could he?

As he went to unlock the door, another buzz of confusion surged through him. The door had already been unlocked. That couldn’t be. He could have sworn that he locked it before leaving for the club. Had he imagined that too? Was he genuinely starting to become insane?

Pushing these unwelcome thoughts to the side, he swiftly opened the door. All of this could be chalked up to him being tired and a bit distracted. He didn’t particularly like any of these ideas, but he needed something to blame his recent behaviour on. 

The room was faintly illuminated by the sparse light emitting from the oil lamp at the edge of his desk. It gave him the perfect view of the stack of unfinished paperwork, he chuckled internally. He limped over to his desk and let himself fall into his chair. Only now the real weight of the day hit him, a fully-loaded freight train running him over with full force. Saints, he was so tired. Resting his head in his hands, he let the silence of his office swallow him whole.

“Are you choosing to ignore me or did you really not notice me sitting here?” He jerked backwards, both hands holding on to the armrests of his chair in preparation to fight off whoever had the nerve to enter his office without his knowledge. His eyes were darting around the room wildly, latching on to every shadowed shape and figure that did as much as sway in the wind. 

A shape in the corner of his room stood up, stepping a bit closer to the desk and into the glow of his lamp. It was you. You looked just like you had left him; vibrant, glowing, and warm. Maybe it was his mind playing tricks on him; maybe he just wanted it to be you. It all felt like a sick joke to him. You couldn’t be here. He would have known if that had been the case. He would have been the first to know.

“Kaz?” Your voice rang in his ears. Loud and clear. If this was an illusion, it was a damn convincing one. 

“Stop it,” he tried shooing the apparition away, waving a dismissive hand as he slowly began to put his focus on the work in front of him. Much to his surprise, you didn’t just disappear into thin air. You gave him an incredulous grin, accentuated by a ridiculing snort.

“I was expecting you to be a bit happier to see me again,” you fake-pouted, using your best Jesper impression to convey your theatrical hurt. 

This had to be real. As much as his mind may despise him, it couldn’t create images this livid; this real; this true. When the realisation struck him, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. His heart beat as if it was running a marathon, and he couldn’t help but feel dizzy. Not the kind of dizziness he felt after drinking on an empty stomach. Rather the kind of dizziness that makes your head spin and heart ache because you have no other way to deal with the immense array of feelings bubbling inside his chest. He didn’t recall the last time he felt like this.

After a period of silence that could have just as well lasted hours, he finally caught himself again. “You’re here,” he mumbled, still having trouble with coming to terms with the situation.

“Of course I am. Did you really think that I was going to never show up again? No faith, Brekker.” You smiled then, sitting on the edge of his desk to get a closer look at him. He looked exhausted, the eyebags under his eyes raising a stark contrast against his almost pallid skin. 

He sucked in a harsh breath, allowing his eyes to roam over his features for what felt like the hundredth time in the last few minutes. The smile that you were giving him made him feel uncharacteristically giddy, but for once in a while, it wasn’t a feeling he wanted to gag and lock away in the deepest depths of his conscience. For the first time in forever, he felt happy.

“I never doubted that you’d come back.” A lie of convenience, but you didn’t need to know that. “It’s just that Inej sent a message-”

“That she won’t be back in Ketterdam for at least another three months. I know.” You completed his sentence effortlessly, your hands mindlessly playing with one of his fountain pens. “Whatever she discussed with Sturmhond seems to be important enough to take a trip to Novyi Zem before she’d be able to set sail to Ketterdam.” You bit your lip in thought, contemplating what you were about to say next. “I didn’t feel like staying back for that long, so I took matters into my own hands and bought a ticket for the next best ship leaving for Kerch. It was great seeing my family again, but I missed the Dregs - as stupid as it sounds.”

Kaz chuckled, your words having an almost intoxicating effect on him. “Be assured that the Dregs missed you too.”

“Just the Dregs?” 

He hesitated. He’d been dying to see you again; to tell you the truth. Yet now, things felt way too real, pressing down on his ribcage with a force he couldn’t quite comprehend. He couldn’t hesitate forever though. “No, not just the Dregs.” Another pause, brief but intense. “I missed you too. Almost enough to send you a letter requesting you to come back.”

“And here I thought you gifting me a pretty dagger was the height of romance,” you laughed, watching in delight as his gaze flickered to the shiny weapon tightly strapped to your belt. He hadn’t thought about checking whether you had taken it with you, or whether you had just chalked it up to being a weird act of possessiveness. But seeing you wear it this openly ripped all the doubts away from his mind. “And, just for the record,” your hands flew to the breast pocket of your coat, carefully retrieving the familiar piece of paper he had added to the knife. “I missed you too.”

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Kaz Brekker: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @juneberrie @writingmysanity @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @brekkers-desigirl @fall-writes @lastwandastan @etanordoesbullsh1t

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse fanfic

[dreamtigress]

WIP Wednesday

For this WIP Wednesday, have a short section from Thuiskomst, (Homecoming) featuring Inej coming back to Ketterdam after six weeks. Kaz greets her at Fifth Harbor, but ends up having issues with a hug in public in the rain. She meets him back at the Slat...

“I think I can offer a better hug now,” he rumbled, and Inej could hear the yearning there.

She stepped forward even as she replied, “I’d love that.”

This time they were dry, with no hats in the way, and no one to see them press together. Kaz wrapped her in his arms, and Inej was home. She returned his embrace with every fiber of her being. His lips brushed the top of her hair as he murmured, “Me mangave pa.” 

It took Inej a moment to realize what she’d heard. Oh my sweet man… your pronunciation needs a little work, but I adore you. She wasn’t about to let him go, even if she wanted to stare at him with shock for telling her in Suli that he loved her. With her face nuzzled against his soft black dress shirt, she replied softly, “Me isto, me drage.” Me too, my beloved.

They stayed entangled in each other’s arms for a few long minutes. Krai decided she needed to be a part of their reunion, and was twining around their legs. The cat was largely ignored as they communed with each other. Kaz laid kisses on Inej’s hair, lightly massaging over her leather vest. She returned the favor, rubbing his lower back. A low, satisfied groan came from him. Aside from his lips on her scalp, no skin touched yet. Just getting to be within the circle of his arms again was captivating. Inej inhaled, reveling in Kaz’s scent. But there was also the smell of hutspot and sausage and fried dough, and her stomach reminded her aloud it had been a long while since lunch on The Wraith. Kaz chuckled, the delightful sound vibrating her cheek. “I think you might be hungry, my beloved.”

Inej pulled back enough to be able to gaze up at his face, admiring the sight up close and personal. As much as she wanted more in the way of contact with him, she had to admit that eating was a solid plan. “I am. And you got us a lovely dinner, from the looks of it.”

“There’s one problem,” Kaz said with a devilish glint to his eyes. He was far more at ease now. 

Saints, I missed him like this. “Oh, and what’s that?”

“I am fairly certain I have to let you go in order for us to eat.”

Inej laughed, and watched as his face went tender, the glint in his eyes replaced with softness.

#wip wednesday #kanej #soc fandom #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej fanfiction #kanej fic #kanej has my whole heart #kanej headcanon #soft kanej #soc #kaz x inej #six of crows duology #save six of crows spinoff #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #kazzle dazzle #kaz learning suli #inej being impressed #coming home #homecoming #when home is a person #kanej hugs #domestic kanej #bamf inej ghafa #captain ghafa #kaz rietveld #krai kat #cat dad kaz

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy.

Song: You're Losing Me - Taylor Swift

For Wylan x Reader?

Comfort In Compassion - Wylan Van Eck

Content Warnings: Discussions Of Family/Family Trauma. Canon Complaint Threat And Violence. Not Beta/Proof Read.

The rain is hammering down in the streets of Ketterdam and you have never been so glad for four small walls and an only partially temperamental roof. You're preparing yourself something to eat when you hear it, the tiny rapid taps against your door. You recount the bells in your head, and you're sure it's far too late for someone to be coming by, but the taps happen again so you put down what is in your hands and go to the door.

You're met with watercolour eyes and dripping hair. "I didn't know where else to go. " Wylan looks like he might shatter. His coat isn't completely soaked through but he is far too wet to have not been standing outside your door for some time before gathering the courage to knock. You're not sure you are processing what you're seeing as you look at him, one hand of yours wrapped tightly around the edge of your door, not sure what to say. He misconstrues your silence and confusion as his presence being an intrusion and he rings his hands together nervously. "But it was a mistake, I shouldn't have come here, I am sorry-," you don't give him the chance to turn tail and leave.

"But you're here. so stay," you tell him, opening the door wide and gently pulling on the fabric of his sleeve to guide him indoors.

He shakes his head slightly as you close the door and his hair drips with water, and he looks to your floor. "Would you like a towel?" The question is light, and Wylan knows you're not asking out of thought of inconvenience but more for his comfort. He nods and you disappear into another room, returning with a soft blue towel, Wylan looks at it, trying not to wonder how amongst the mismatch barrel belongings you managed to have such a perfectly soft towel.

"First heist with Kaz was from some rich merchant," you say, "so maybe I took some creature comforts while we were there."

Wylan offers up a sad smile and you just brush the awkwardness off like he has been here for hours. "I have warm water going, can I get you a drink?" you offer. Wylan hadn't noticed his own shaking, and upon your offer he takes it into consideration and nods. "Something sweet coming up." You know better than to ask him too many questions right now, he still seems to be in some type of shock and you don't want to push him.

He looks fragile, but not fragile like glass, fragile like explosives and you want to be a safe zone and not a demolition activation.

You help Wylan settle, he sits, legs crossed, knees slightly too close together for him to be really comfortable on your day bed, but he is trying to take up even less space than he already is. You offer him a blanket, hanging his coat by the fire. Wylan edges closer to the warmth and accepts the blanket. "You got pretty soaked," you tell him. "I don't want you getting a cold. Sickness can be the death of you in the barrel."

He looks up at you as you pass him a warm cup. "You've changed the layout," he says looking around. You nod, since the last time Wylan had been inside your place, things had changed a bit, they had to. You needed to make things look different, you thought it would help, but it hadn't.

"A little," you say, taking your own seat next to him. "You going to tell me what brought you to my door Sunshine?"

His laugh is echoed, and it feels more bitter than anything, and you can see the wince on his face, his own laughter leaves a sour taste in his mouth. "Sunshine," he repeats back to you.

"Sorry, not the time," you say, looking back towards the door and listening to the rain falling, it keeps getting harder, and you can hear the resistance of the roof against the weather.

"It's just... ironic," he says.

"Wy," you lean forward placing a hand on his leg, and he startles but doesn't move, "what happened?"

"I couldn't go back to the tannery," he explains. He glances over his shoulder back towards the door. He feels unsafe. His hands are shaking and his eyes are alert, but his fatigue is weighing on him. You haven't seen him this skittish in months.

"Who did you see?" you ask, knowing enough about the types of fear Wylan hides to know why he might feel the need to run somewhere else. You want to know more, but you always want to know more with Wylan, he's the only book you'd never bore of reading, the only piece of music you could listen to over and over again and never call a note repetitive.

"Someone who probably wouldn't have even recognised me if he was staring me down," Wylan says, bringing the rim of the cup to his lips, "but I remember him."

You do not push it, you would hope in the reverse situation you might be given the same curtesy. With Wylan, you think you might, Wylan has never pulled on a string too hard when you've shut down a conversation. When he asked you how you new Kaz Brekker and you went still, not a fibre in your body moving, he didn't ask again.

He adjusts his shoulders, pushing them up closer to his head as he shrinks further into himself, holding the drink to his chest and sitting in the ambient light of the fire, letting it warm his bones and calm his nerves, and you don't say anything, you just sit with him, content in the company.

"How much has Kaz told you about my dad?" he asks finally breaking the silence. You blink, the question feeling strange.

"Nothing," you answer honestly.

"Nothing?" he asks, like it feels unfeasible as the truth.

"If Kaz has... knowledge of things, it is often in his best interest to keep it close to his chest," you say, "I am not Inej, Brekker's secrets are his currency. He wouldn't tell me anything unless it bettered his hand."

"I thought," Wylan goes quieter, mumbling something to himself.

"Wylan, he gets nothing from telling me things about you," you assure him.

"Weren't you asked to watch me?" he asks after a moment.

"No," you say, brow knitting together at the statement. "Why would... why do you think that?"

"I figured, with the way you take interest," Wylan says. You'd be straight up lying if that didn't hurt, but you know the barrel, and you know enough about Wylan to understand why he might have trust issues. But still there is a sting in your chest that doesn't just go away when you hear those words.

"My interest in you is entirely my own," you tell him, "I assure you of that much."

Wylan settles back into himself. "So you really know nothing?" he asks.

"I am not Kaz, I gain no advantage from lying to you," you remind him. "Besides you turned up here, so clearly you trust me enough, which suggests I am doing something right."

"I didn't know where else to go," he tells you again. You nod. "And I knew where to come to find you. I've been here once before."

"Once wasn’t enough for me," you say quietly. He looks at you with an understanding.

"I didn't mean to just," he sighs. "Was I wrong to come here?"

"No," you tell him, "you're never wrong to come to me."

"You're always good to me," he says, "more good to me than anyone has been in so long."

"I gave you all my best me's, my endless empathy."

"Why?"

"Because I want someone to see the best in me," you admit. "And you deserve someone giving you the best of them."

"My father tried to have me killed," he says, and the sentence would be jarring regardless of the circumstances but the abruptness makes you feel like I've missed your footing somewhere along the conversation.

"What?" you manage only the single word, your throat suddenly all too dry.

"He said he was sending me away to study music, but I should have known he was lying, I should have... he was never capable of seeing what I was good at, only where I failed him, only my disappointments," Wylan is staring into his drink like he can see his future there, or maybe his past. "So he sent me away, and he tried to have me killed, to erase me, undo the error he made in fathering me at all." He coughs. "So when I saw one of the men that had been escorting me to my death that day, in the barrel, barely a stones throw from the tannery, picking up a delivery of some kind I felt like I was dying. The rain hadn't started yet, but I don't know when it began because I didn't know it was raining until you opened the door."

"Wylan," you whisper, reaching out for him. You hesitate, clasping your extended fingers into your palm, ready to pull back, but he meets you in the distance between, taking the hand you are offering to him.

"I knew my father... I knew he despised me, I suspected he hated me, but I was foolish enough to not consider that he would want me dead, I escaped his attempt once but I don't know if I would again," Wylan explains, "and I don't want to die. When I came to the barrel everything was messy but I found some kind of footing eventually, and at some point I stopped looking over my shoulder at every bump, every darker street corner, like maybe he had just forgotten about me. But today, my father is meticulous, it makes him a good businessman, and he will not be content knowing I am walking around Ketterdam, I probably should have ran further, but I don't want him to scare me from my home, because bad or not the barrel is my home. I don't know what this life is, but it's mine, I made it, and I want to keep it, I want to live it." He watches you nodding at his words, understanding more than you could express. This life wasn't pretty, no one in the barrel is naïve enough to believe barrel life is some dream come true, the barrel is full of criminals and sinners, demons and bastards. People visit for cheap thrills, but people live here because they've got nowhere lower to fall. Life in the barrel is a fight for every breath, but it's still your life.

"Maybe you could stay? Just for tonight?" you offer, gesturing around. "No one could find you here, well Inej or Kaz, but you know they mean you no harm."

"Just for tonight?" he asks, those soft sad eyes puncturing right through you.

"Wylan, you can stay as long as you want," you tell him.

"You'd be okay with that?" he asks, letting the blanket slip down off his shoulders to pool around his waist as he finally gives into the comfort of the room entirely.

"Truth is, Wylan, that I'm so damn in love with you I don't know what to do with myself," is what you want to say, but you don't because now isn't the time for grand confession, now isn't the time to make this about anything but the reason he came here. He needed to feel safe, and loved and he came to you. He didn't know where to go, he felt lost and he came to you. That's all the matters right now, confessions can wait, everything can wait. Right now, for tonight, you just have to be here for Wylan, and only for Wylan. "Yeah," you say, "I'd be okay with that."

#grishaverse #shadow and bone #six of crows #wylan van eck x reader #wylan van sunshine #wylan x reader #wylan hendriks #wylan van eck #wylan my beloved

[imagines-by-cleo]

I hope your illness gets better soon!! This is my first time requesting, and sorry my English is bad. It is not my native language.

I really like Miller from MGSV. So, I’m so happy that you write about him! Can I request a fic that the reader walks into Miller drinking alone, and he being drunk accidentally confesses to the reader?

Please take your time. Get well soon, and I hope you have a nice day🤗

Thank you so much friend! It's so nice to hear you enjoy my fics and it's great to get back into writing with these requests, I am grateful for every single one of them!

This ended up being super long and super fluffy but I had fun writing (cause omg I love Kaz) it and I think you'll like it too, idk if you wanted smut but that's what I wrote and if you want to avoid it you can stop after the page divider. I'm finishing these requests slow but I swear I am finishing them and I'm trying to make them worth the wait. I appreciate your patience but most of all I appreciate the time everyone takes to read these.

CW: Alcohol, whump, fluff, consent is sexy, nipple play, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), masturbation, dirty talk, unprotected sex

The overwhelming stench of warm sake filled your nose before you even opened the door to Miller's office, telling you exactly how you were going to spend the rest of the night. As you stepped in you found the room covered in a cloud of smoke from a kiseru pipe while music from at least a decade prior played loudly.

"Master Miller?" You called, though he didn't answer.

There he was sitting behind his desk in a daze, half here and half in the 70s, not even noticing your presence until you snuck over and turned the record player off. Grabbing a nearby wastebin you made short work of clearing out the many bottles around the room, one of which was still in his hand as he tried to pour the last few drops directly into his mouth.

"We should get some tequila shipped in." He mused.

"We had some. You drank it." You said a little too bluntly, but he probably wouldn't remember if you were being rude.

"One time... Back in MSF I had to much tequila and... I don’t really remember but the guys told me they had to get me down from a table and put my pants back on." His expression would change every time he trailed off from looking like he could cry to trying not to bust out laughing, but it was nice to see a twinkle in those clouded blue eyes.

You held in a snicker while you listened, it might have been nice to see Kaz in his party days but you're sure you would have to do the same thing you did now only you would have to wrestle his pants back on and he would have two more limbs to fight you off with.

Speaking of, you looked around for his crutch but couldn't find it anywhere, it had a funny way of disappearing when Kaz was drinking. With a sigh you walked up to his chair and grabbed his arm to stand him up, he leaned into you when you put his arm around your shoulder to walk him out.

"Wait a minute." He held a finger up, then pointed it at the desk where his sunglasses were sitting, prompting you to take them and gently put them on his face before leaving.

"Happy now?" You asked, only getting a hum in response.

It was becoming routine to help him out like this, normally you didn't think twice about it but tonight there was something about the heat coming from his body and the faint sweet smell of smoke carried in his clothes that made you realize how intimate the situation was. It was somewhat against protocol to be this close with a commanding officer but maybe it had the potential to become more than that. It was hard to admit now, but that was part of the reason you came here tonight. Only you couldn't really ask him about his feelings while he was completely wasted, the least you could do was make sure he was taken care of.

Putting the thought away as you left his office you headed toward his room, it wasn’t far but it felt much longer with an entire man slumped over your shoulder. While you were struggling Kaz was having the time of his life, humming a song and occasionally mumbling the words out of tune.

When you got to his room you found it was both bare and a complete mess. No pictures or anything to decorate the dull grey walls, clothes were thrown haphazardly on the floor and unmade bed and the only window had blackout curtains drawn closed. You stepped carefully through the mess, trying not to let yourself or Kaz trip on anything that had been left around.

This was the first time you had actually been inside since he would stagger back in alone once you got him this far but tonight he had been drinking too much to even do that. Its not that it was any of your business, but after discovering how he lived you started to get worried.

"Hey, I noticed you've been drinking more since the Boss brought home those MSF soldiers that were wandering around. I hope it's not bringing back any unpleasant memories." You pointed out figuring your best shot at getting clarification was while he was like this.

For a minute as he got quiet you were worried he was about to get angry at you, but to your surprise he answered honestly. "No, they're good memories. But that's all they are."

Deciding not to press the issue further, you changed the subject. "Let's get you to bed."

"You take such good care of me, that's why I love you." He laughed.

"Yeah, right." You replied, it was a strange thing for him to say but you chalked it up to him being drunk.

Sliding out from under his arm you proceeded to stand him up carefully as he swayed side to side, pulling his coat off quickly before he tipped over completely without your help. A blush rose on your cheeks when you unbuttoned his shirt, maybe it wasn't completely necessary but you didn't want him just falling asleep in it. Hesitating a moment when you reached for his glasses, once you uncovered his eyes you noticed how they had been fixed on you as if he was looking for something.

"What is it?" You asked.

The hand threading into your hair and cradling the back of your head caught you off guard, before you knew it Kaz' lips were on yours. The taste of sake was still strong and his mouth was so warm, you put your hands on his broad chest but couldn't find the strength to push him back. He pulled away just to continue across your jaw and behind your ear, you shuddered at the feeling, wishing you could just give in to it.

"Kaz, wait." You interrupted.

He stopped almost immediately but he stayed where he was, whispering his confession into your ear. "I meant it."

"You're drunk." You replied, pushing him into a seated position on the bed.

"Come here." He told you before dragging you down onto his lap, his poor balance causing the two of you to fall back onto the mattress together.

His body fit perfectly against yours while he kissed you again, it felt so natural to have him hold you like this that you were tempted to just give in. The groan he made when he rolled his hips up into you vibrated through your whole body, making you gasp in response after feeling the hard bulge that pressed into your thigh.

You lifted yourself up and looked down at him, pushing a golden strand of hair away from his pink face revealing his half lidded eyes that locked with yours.

"We can't do this." You sighed, climbing off the bed. "Not tonight."

He grabbed your hand before you walked away, so he could request. "Stay with me at least?"

Staring at the door, you contemplated what you should do before answering. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

A low snore from behind told you that would be sooner than you thought, you turned and found Kaz was already fast alseep. You smacked your palm to face in frustration, more upset with yourself for expecting anything different.

Did that bastard really just confess his love to you and then pass out drunk? At the very least you knew you had made the right decision to turn him down for now anyway, but this was going to make for a delicate situation the next day if he even remembered half of what happened. How would you even go about explaining it to him, and would he expect a reaction from you?

With a tired groan you looked around the room for something to tidy up and keep you busy while you pushed the important questions off until tomorrow.

An all to bright ray of sunlight shining straight onto his face woke Kaz up, muttering curses he squeezed his eyes shut while reaching for his glasses on the nightstand. He knew exactly where they were though he didn't remember setting them there, come to think of it he didn't even remember how he got into his room last night but he wasn't inclined to think too hard about it now.

He sat up slowly to not irritate his throbbing head or aching body, leaning on the wall as he staggered into the bathroom. There was a bottle of water and some seltzer waiting on the sink, he didn't bother to question who put it there, as far as he was concerned it was a gift from God.

After chugging his drink and splashing some water on his face Kaz stared in the mirror, questioning the actions that put him here once again, but all the regret in the world wasn't going to change the fact that he was going to have to get dressed sooner or later. Instinctively he looked around the floor for his clothes finding they were all gone, someone had neatly folded yesterday's clothes and set them on his dresser while the rest were put in the drawers. There wasn't much he remembered about the night before but he was damn sure he didn't do any of that and before he could wonder how they got there he heard a stirring across the room.

Kaz nearly jumped out of his skin when he turned to find you sleeping curled up in an armchair. Knowing you had been there all night answered the question of why his room was so clean, but he was starting to feel guilty for having brought you here in the first place.

He came up to you as quietly as possible, you looked kinda cute, laying there with the sun shining on your messed up hair as you softly snored. Kaz found himself wishing he woke up next to this in his bed rather than across the room. He watched for a minute noticing the way you had your arms wrapped around your body, you must have been cold, immediately he went to grab a blanket from his bed and draped it gently over you. A satisfied smile rose on his face while he watched you snuggle into the warmth, his hand lingered on your shoulder after tucking you in. Slowly your eyes fluttered open, still hazed and tired as you looked up at him.

"Did you get that water I left for you?" You asked.

"Yeah, I did." He answered, he should have figured that was from you.

"That's good." You replied while yawning, wiggling around to get comfortable. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I don't know why you're still worried about me." He laughed, it was strange the way you looked after him when all he could really do was bring you a blanket.

"Someone has to be." You answered, rubbing your eyes and makeing the dark circles under them more apparent. "Besides, you were pretty wasted last night."

"Right, I must have kept you up pretty late. Why don't you take my bed and get some rest?" He requested, reachingout to you. "Do it for me."

Kaz led you over to the bed just a few feet away while you staggered over half awake without even questioning him. He tucked you in again before turning to leave and get ready for for his day if it wasn't too late.

"I don't know why you stayed here and went through all this trouble." He mumbled, more to himself than anything.

"You told me to stay last night." You answered, to his surprise.

"I hope that's all I told you." He laughed.

"Well there was one thing..." You continued, sitting up, the words sendinga chill down his spine. "You made a move on me, you kissed me actually."

Kaz really shouldn't have been surprised, he knew he had feelings for you since the day he met you but he wasn't about to tell anyone. It was only a matter of time until something slipped out, especially when you were around so much. He spent those few precious seconds of silence racking his brain to try and remember what exactly he said and more importantly how to respond.

"It was kinda nice knowing you felt the same way, but I wish you'd told me when you weren't drinking; or maybe when we both were." You shrugged, looking up at him in this sweet innocent way that he just couldn't stand.

"Listen..." He started, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "I appreciate everything you've done, in fact I'm in more debt to you than I like to think about, but don't you think you'd be better off spending your time doing something else? With someone else?"

"I like spending time with you." You answered, reaching for his hand. "And I don't mind helping out every now and then."

"I don't deserve someone like you taking care of me." He confessed, it felt harsh coming out but he couldn't just let you keep doing this.

He wasn't expecting you to say anything after that, much less turn his face toward you and kiss him. It was his last chance to push you away but he wanted you more than he should have and let you come closer.

When you broke off you whispered "Please, don't talk about yourself like that."

It was a little jarring to have you showing him affection like that, every nice thing you did confused him and he always felt guilty for wanting more but he never thought he was more than a burden to you. Knowing you really felt for him changed everything, and his heart pounded as he allowed himself to be vulnerable for just once.

You crawled over, straddling his lap before taking his sunglasses off. He wrapped his arm around you while you shared a deep and thoughtful stare for a good long while.

"I love seeing your eyes." You broke the silence.

He just had to kiss you after that, holding you tighter while his lips moved softly against yours. For a brief moment he felt your tongue touch his bottom lip, inviting him to to take the opportunity and explore your mouth with his own. He slid his tongue in deep and fast making you moan in surprise before simply allowing him free access to taste you. You pressed your chest into his without breaking the kiss, taking his hand and guiding it under your shirt to touch between your breasts and for a second he could feel your heart beating fast.

Circling one nipple with his thumb, he felt it perk up in his hand until it was stiff, that made it much easier to pinch and tease making you twitch in his grasp. He lifted your shirt up higher so he could pop the other nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and gently sucking.

While he was playing with your tits you unbuttoned your pants, doing your best to pull one leg out of them without climbing off his lap. Pushing him away just for a moment to take his shirt off before pulling him back against your chest, running your fingers through his messy hair while he continued.

Your other hand drifted down, exploring his chest and anywhere else that you could. Then you reached for his boxers, tugging at the waistband before he caught your hand by the wrist.

"Not so fast, it's my turn to take care of you." Kaz stopped you, he would have loved to get out of that increasingly tight fabric but he had plans fo you first.

"But I wanna-" You whined.

He cut you off. "Do I have to pull the commanding officer card?"

You giggled. "Maybe."

"Alright. Spread your legs as far as you can. That's an order." He told you before tugging your pants the rest of the way down, and your panties along with it.

Starting by running his hand across your folds, making sure you were good and wet before he teased your entrance. Sliding a single finger in and out slowly, he pulled it all the way out before stuffing it back in as far as it would go then curling it inside you.

"Ah! Do that again!" You cried out, prompting him to go faster.

You held on to his shoulders, leaning in to kiss his neck between desperate pants. Kaz sighed at the soft touch of your wet lips and the warmth of your quick breaths. Pressing the heel of his palm against your clit made you roll your hips into him. It wasn't long until he had you cumming all over his hand and squeezing his fingers tight, your whole body shaking as you gripped him tighter to keep your balance.

After your last few spasms he fell back onto the soft sheets, kneading his fingers into your thigh and guiding you to climb over until you were straddling his face. It was like you read his mind when you lowered yourself onto his lips, and he wasted no time licking up every drop of wetness that dribbled out of you. He groaned at the sweet sticky flavor of you, reaching his tongue into your core and swirling it around to taste more.

Taking notice of how your legs would flex and shake around him, he also noiticed he couldn't hear you making any kind of noise. Pausing and looking up he noticed you were bitting down hard on your bottom lip, most likely in an effort to keep quiet.

"Hey! Don't hold back. Let me hear it." Kaz ordered, slapping the inside of your thigh.

Moaning immediately in response you didn't hold anything back, even when the sounds you made weren't so dignified. Though every little noise from you went straight to his crotch and he could feel himself twitching in his boxers that were starting to get just a little too tight. It was hard not to get off with a sense of pride when he made you cum once with his fingers and again into his mouth, if you weren't completely numb yet you would have felt him grining like a maniac against your sensitive skin.

It was easy enough to toss you over onto your back, you were putty in his hands while he pushed your legs apart and situated your body just how he needed it. The whole time you looked at him with this hungry half lidded gaze, something more sensual than anything you'd see in a magazine.

"Haven't had enough yet?" He teased, making you shake your head.

The front of his boxers were a tented mess, his swollen cock leaking and begging to be touched. Kaz couldn't help bit give it a few strokes before he lined it up, throwing his head back in relief of finally getting some stimulation. The thought crossed his mind to just keep pumping and finish all over you, but something told him he could make you cum one more time.

Climbing over you and starting slow, only giving your overstimulated pussy few inches at a time. You made a low whine that made his cock twitch when his entire length was inside, you lifted your knees up to your chest, welcoming him in deeper.

Everything about you at this point was a dripping mess, and Kaz loved it. From the way your hair was tossed to the dazed look in your eyes, and how your tits still wet with his spit would heave with every breath. Having you bucking up into him still desperate as all hell was just cherry on top.

"Never thought I'd see you like this." He remarked.

"Get used to it." You teased between moans.

Every move he made seemed to elicit some new decadent reaction, the way you were gasping and moaning under him like he was taking the very air out of your lungs made his heart pound. He could only deduce that you were about to cum again and he adjusted accordingly, with a few harsh targeted thrusts that rattled the bed beneath you he had you babbling his name one last time while your thighs twitched and eventually went limp.

He was trying to keep his weight off of you by staying propped up on his arm, until you hooked your arms under his shoulders and pulled him down closer to you. Closing what little distance you had between the two of you had him sinking in even deeper, making him groan at the feeling of being completely engulfed by you.

"You feel so good." He panted, picking up the pace. "You're gonna make me..."

Kaz was about to pull out before you wrapped your legs around his waist, keeping him locked inside until it was too late. The warmth of your body burning him up and the sound of his wet skin hitting yours was getting to be more than he could handle. Pushing into you with a last few shallow thrusts, his pulse was racing and he even felt his knees twitch while he emptied inside of you.

There was no way of telling how long the two of you sat like that, he couldn't move or even think and you were still holding onto him for dear life. When he did eventually get some control back he kissed you deeply, only breaking of to suck in a little bit of air before pressing his mouth to yours again. When he pulled away you reached up and pushed the hair away from his face so you could see his eyes, not saying anything but but simply sharing a deep moment.

"I hope you weren't planning on walking anywhere today." He teased, still out of breath.

"You're lucky it's my day off." You replied.

"I guess I am pretty lucky." He chided, rolling off of you.

Something sharp poked into his side making him jump, he reached to see what the object was only to find his sunglasses now bent out of shape. Before he could even curse about it you took them out of his hand and put them on, making him laugh at the lopsided lenses only covering half your face.

"I guess you're not going anywhere without these." You commented.

"It's already too late to get work done anyway." He remarked.

"Oh no, we'll just have to stay in our big comfy bed for the rest of the day." You teased, voice dripping with sarcasm while you laid your head on his chest.

"That doesn't sound too bad." He laughed, wrapping his harm around you.

Laying there together, watching the sun rise higher outside and forgeting about work one soft sigh at a time. It was more than Kaz could have hoped for when he woke up with a hangover. He wasn't sure what he did to deserve this, but he'd have to figure it out so it could happen again.

"Hey..." You broke the silence when you looked up at him grinning. "Tell me that story about you getting drunk in MSF and taking your pants off."

"Wha- Who told you about that?" He stammered.

"You did." He should have known.

"Right, well anyway. This was back when we first got to Costa Rica and we found this little cantina by..."

While Kaz continued his story he thought about how he would normally feel about the old days, using the the anger he felt at the loss of his home and his comrades as a reason to go on and seek vengeance. All his life now was just looking in the past and only going forward to try and find a way to restore it, until now he felt that was the only way. Maybe it was time for a change. Hearing you laugh and smile at his stupid stories made him realize there was a possibility of a future and a new home, and it was all right in front of him.

#kazuhira miller #kazuhira miller x reader #metal gear solid #mgsv #mgsv kaz #mgs fanfiction #mgs fanfic #mgs x reader

[jesperfaheys-defenseattorney]

Tea and Coffee

Prompt: “Any ideas for our next date?” “Oh, so many, we have to do this a lot more often.”

Words: 4360

Wesper Fake Dating and Modern AU for Day 2 of Wesper Week (@wesperweek2023)! Tell me if you'd like to be on my Grishaverse taglist!

Jesper stood outside Wylan’s apartment, fidgeting with a loose string on his sweatshirt sleeve. He sighed, bringing his other hand up to knock. His heart pounded in his chest. This is stupid, he couldn’t help but think. Part of him knew it would be fine, but the other part of him worried Wylan would laugh and shut the door in his face. Out of character, but Kaz’s paranoia was starting to rub off on him. Or maybe it was always there. He couldn’t tell at this point.

He heard locks clicking, then Wylan swung the door open. He smiled at him, sticking the hand not on the door in his sweater sleeve. A nervous habit Jesper had picked up on. His hair was damp, the curls a darker red-blonde, like melted caramel. “Jesper,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

“You should check who it is first you know,” he said, stepping forward. Wylan stepped back to let him pass. There was a familiar affection in the way he rolled his eyes as he shut the door after him. “We live in a shit neighbourhood.” He leaned against the counter and Wylan crossed his arms in front of him, his freckles falling back to their original alignment as his smile became smaller, simply listening to Jesper. “I could have been anyone.”

He shook his head. “I wasn’t all that worried considering you texted me a few minutes ago.”

He raised an eyebrow. “It said you didn’t read it before I left my flat.”

“I never read them.”

He rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha. You know you make me feel bad.”

The same light amusement in his eyes filled his step as he leaned towards Jesper before walking past him to the fridge. “Maybe you should stop forgetting I’m dyslexic and you wouldn’t feel so bad,” he drawled, opening the fridge. “Tea?”

“Why do you offer everyone tea?” He asked, furrowing his brow and turning around so his forearms rested on the counter, supporting his weight.

“It’s nice?”

“I’m not a guest,” he said, grinning as Wylan got out a pitcher of iced tea and two glasses.

“Technically you are.”

He accepted the glass and pressed it to his lips. “I’ve been over here a thousand times, Wy.” He took a sip. The liquid was a mixture of two types Wylan kept around, and it had a sweet aftertaste. “You drink so much of this,” he said, tilting it back and setting it down with only half the liquid left. The glass clinked on the cheap countertop. “Is this what you would taste like?”

Wylan choked on his tea and Jesper grinned at the ros hue of his cheeks a moment later. “No,” he said. “I would taste like dye fumes and mildew.”

He rolled his eyes. “You need a better job.”

“Tell me about it.” He took a completed sip of his glass, Jesper saving the innuendos for later. “Why are you here, Jes?”

“I can’t visit a friend?”

“At noon on a Saturday when you should be working?” He peered at him over the rim as he took another sip. Jesper admired his eyes for a moment, a startling blue much like a robin’s eggs, before Wylan spoke again and he was equally distracted by his pink lips. “Kaz will kill you.”

“I’ll risk it to spend a little time over here,” he said, smiling. Wylan raised an eyebrow and Jesper relented. He hung his head. “Fine, I need your help.”

“There it is,” he said, smiling and setting his empty glass in the sink. “What is it?”

“I need you to be my boyfriend for a day,” he said, looking up and closing his eyes bracing for a negative reaction. It wasn’t that he thought Wylan would be repulsed by the idea, but rather disrespected. He might find it offensive or rude for Jesper to ask something like that of him, and he really didn’t want Wylan angry at him. It would make him immensely guilty.

He opened one grey eye slowly. Wylan was staring, his mouth slightly parted. A moment later, his bright eyebrows knitted together. He blinked longer than necessary, then stared again. “What?”

Jesper opened both eyes, looking down and swaying back and forth on his feet before looking back up again. “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. Just for a day.” He rubbed one hand over his face. “I told my Da I had a boyfriend and now he wants to meet him and I kind of don’t have one and there’s no way I could convince him anyone else was my boyfriend.”

Wylan raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘no one else’?”

Of course that’s what he latched onto. “I um,” he scratched the back of his head, “I might have described the guy I was dating as similar looking to you.”

Wylan shook his head. “Why would you do that?”

Because I’m into you, he thought with exasperation. Jesper could flirt to the ends of the Earth but Wylan didn’t have the self esteem to take him seriously, or maybe he had established too poor a reputation for his love life. “I lack imagination!”

He rolled his eyes. “I doubt that.”

“Listen,” he said, holding out his hands. “Please, I just need you to come to dinner with me and hold my hand, maybe let me kiss you on the cheek just to really sell it. You need to tell my Da how happy we are and that we’ve been dating for about a month-”

“You’ve kept this up for a month?”

“It’s me!” He rolled his eyes again, but sat back against the counter and listened. “Just say a little about yourself. I didn’t get into specifics so it’s not like you have to pretend to be someone else. Then in about a week I’ll tell him we broke up and we never have to worry about it again.”

“You mean you don’t have to worry about it.”

“Yes.”

Jesper had been “worrying” about it for a month, so when his Da asked him if he had a boyfriend he had said yes and sent him a fucking picture of him and Wylan. It was a stupid decision, but he wanted to make his Da happy and Jesper needed a way to get over Wylan. He thought what better than to pretend to his Da and tell him they broke up. Feed the crush then kill it, easy. He was sure it would work but the more questions his Da asked the more he had said about Wylan and the more heartache he got thinking Wylan wouldn’t go out with him. They met last year because they had a class together, and they’d grown closer in their group of six friends ever since. Jesper had always flirted with Wylan, and Wylan took him seriously in their friendship, but he would never trust Jesper in a relationship and he knew it. He heard him tell Nina and Inej that the perfect guy was someone you could trust and he had stated on multiple occasions that Jesper was not to be trusted. It was like two pieces of a puzzle that did not make a pretty picture. He could accept it, but it didn’t change the fact that his heart got faster every time Wylan touched him and he stared whenever he laughed or smiled or did anything really.

“Fine,” Wylan said, looking out the window. “I’ll do it.” He looked back and pointed a finger. “But you owe me.”

Jesper grinned and held up his hands. “I do. And thank you so much.” He leaned forwards, bracing his hands on the countertop. “I mean it.”

He smiled gently. “I know.” He watched Jesper finish his iced tea, then took the glass from him and set it in the sink. “When is the dinner?”

“Tonight. Five o’clock.”

He was glared and five minutes later he was out of the flat and scheduled to meet Wylan at four thirty outside his flat.

Jesper grinned when Wylan came out of his flat in a sweater and scarf, jeans and boots. He climbed in the passenger side, and Jesper reached over to adjust his scarf. Wylan flushed a similar colour to the material. “Is this okay?”

“You look great,” he said, breaking his gaze to look in the rearview mirror, pulling out to get back on the road.

He smiled into his hand he had propped by the window. “Thank you.” Jesper was wearing grey pants and a red flannel, and Wylan felt warm thinking that they had accidentally matched, his scarf red and his sweater grey. When he was younger he thought couples that did that were cute and now he found the idea laughable, but it felt a little different when you were the person doing it. He cleared his throat, and Jesper glanced at him briefly. “You look good too.”

His smile was sweeter than Wylan expected. “Thanks dove.”

He shook his head. “Please do not call me that in front of your Da.”

“It’s not my fault you gave me the perfect pet name.”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“I love it. You love it. He’ll love it.”

He rolled his eyes back to the window. “Whatever.”

Jesper had called Wylan ‘love’ to be funny, and he frequently used it on Nina and Inej. One day Jesper decided Wylan wore a lot of grey and he started trying to come up with animal names for him. The first time he ever stayed at Wylan’s flat (tired and shitfaced) he had showered there and saw Wylan’s numerous Dove products, then decided he would call him ‘dove’ to rhyme with ‘love’ and because of the grey he wore.

“Dove’s are white, Jes,” Inej had pointed out when he called Wylan so in front of the crows and had to explain the name.

“Mourning doves are grey,” Matthias said.

Jesper gestured to the man, and Wylan rolled his eyes. “He was inspired by my shampoo.”

“Why do you buy that when you can barely pay your rent?” Kaz asked, raising an eyebrow. He had one hand on his cane, the other on his black coffee as they all sat around a cafe.

“Wylan needs to take care of himself,” Nina said briskly. She gestured to his head. “Look at those curls.”

He smiled. “I like the smell, to be honest.”

Jesper sighed. “As though other brands don’t smell nice.”

“They don’t smell as nice.”

“You’re just used to what you grew up with, don’t lie to me,” he said, grinning.

Wylan flushed. “Maybe a little.”

“It’s not that expensive,” Inej said, nudging Wylan with her foot. “Don’t let Jesper tease you.”

“Have you met him?”

“I’m right here.”

And they had laughed, and soon enough they were all teasing Jesper instead. A few minutes later they had started coming up with animal nicknames for all of them, courtesy of their resident animal lover; Matthias.

Wylan laughed to himself at the memory, and when Jesper prompted him to share, he shook his head and said it was nothing. Wylan loved his friends that had grown into his family, and dare he say he loved Jesper. At least as a friend, even if his crush on him was being pushed to the back of his head at all times.

When they got to Colm’s, Jesper practically leapt out of the car to open the door for Wylan. He gasped and blushed when Jesper kissed his forehead, which was an extreme reaction, but to say the least he was startled.

“We’ve been dating for a month from now on, yeah?”

Wylan nodded quickly, remembering the whole reason they were there. He had been in the car with Jesper so much he hadn’t even remembered the reason they were together. He never met Jesper’s dad but he heard plenty of stories, so when they went up to the door he was surprised that Colm was so put together. Jesper’s stories made it sound like Colm would be dishevelled and tired, running a farm all by himself while also always calling and checking on Jesper at college. But he had a giant smile on his face and held his hand out for Wylan to shake almost immediately after hugging Jesper.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” he said, grinning. “Wylan, correct?”

He nodded, shaking his hand. “Yes, sir.”

“Oh, please,” he stepped back and opened the door wider, gesturing them inside. “Call me Colm.”

He nodded, smiling and entered the house. It was essentially a cabin, most of it made of wood, with cosy, golden brown furniture that looked hand crafted. There was a gun mounted above the fireplace, a small, old TV and radio off to the side. A warm, red, persian rug made up most of the sitting area right by the door, and there was a stairway off to the side. Further back was a kitchen with the gas stove on, a wooden dining table with six chairs in the back of the cabin. It smelled like fall, a scent of crisp nature mixed with squash and pumpkin. Wylan looked at Jesper. “Does it always smell this nice?” He heard Colm laugh behind them, and he flushed.

Maybe that was a silly question. Jesper grinned at him. “Pretty much. Da cheats though, he uses candles to make it smell.”

Colm sighed as he passed them and went into the kitchen. “My house can smell however I would like it to smell and in whatever way I choose for it to smell, Jesper.”

He saluted goofily. “Yes sir.”

Colm sighed again, but there was a smile on his face and in his grey eyes that looked so much like Jesper’s. Colm’s eyes held years, fashioned with stone and a stormy sky, but Jesper’s was of gunpowder and metal. “Oh, Jesper.” He stood over the stove, stirring something in a pot. Jesper made for the table, grabbing Wylan’s hand and dragging him over with him. They sat down together, and Colm began to speak when Wylan leaned forwards to admire the place mats.

“Wylan,” he said, and his head snapped up. “How do you spell your name? Is it W-I-E-L-I-N?”

“Oh, um,” he faltered, looking for Jesper for help. He was grateful Colm was turned the other way.

He took Wylan’s hand, though he suspected it wasn’t because they were putting up an act, and he was grateful for Jesper’s support. He smiled and looked towards his Da. “It’s W-Y-L-A-N.”

“Oh, alright,” he said, glancing over his shoulder at them with a smile. He shook his head. “I’m sure Wylan can say his own name though, Jesper.”

“He has double deficit dyslexia, Da,” he said, and Wylan’s eyes widened.

“Jesper,” he whispered. He looked over at him, a quick hint of worry in his eyes that made Wylan tense.

Colm hummed and Wylan looked over at him. “Oh, I see.” He looked over his shoulder again and Wylan swallowed. “I apologise, Wylan. I didn’t know.”

“Oh,” he said, and Jesper squeezed his hand to get him to relax. “It’s alright.”

Jesper let out a quick sigh. Wylan felt similarly, watching the way his shoulder relaxed and his expression lightened. He leaned over to him. He whispered, “Sorry, I knew he wouldn’t care but I shouldn’t have-”

“It’s fine,” he murmured back. “I… you know how I get.”

He nodded, nothing but care in his expression. Wylan felt cared for and it made him smile and turn his head the other way.

Colm started talking about the farm and Jesper nodded along, adding a comment every now and again. Wylan started to ask questions, and he could tell Colm was excited they were talking. Part of him felt bad, knowing he and Jesper would “break up” in a week. Another part of him didn’t want Jesper to stop holding his hand between them under the table, gently running his thumb over his knuckles to make sure he was relaxed after panicking. Ultimately the two parts of him came together and made him want the night to last longer than it would.

Colm brought over three bowls of butternut squash soup, asking Wylan if he could trust Jesper when he had texted and told him Wylan didn’t have any allergies. He had laughed and nodded, noting that Jesper could be trusted in most cases. Colm fetched them bread and butter while Jesper protested and soon the two were teasing each other. Wylan made a comment that caused Colm to exclaim about a baby story, and Jesper groaned in turn. Colm was as good at telling stories as Jesper, as entertaining and as detailed, though their demeanour and dialect were very different. Wylan laughed and Jesper had pulled him closer to kiss his head. Wylan blushed and stared at his soup bowl, though he smiled, and Colm seemed more overjoyed than Wylan expected.

After dinner, in which Wylan told Colm about his studies and a few romanticised but mostly true stories about him and Jesper, Colm instructed Jesper to show Wylan the Jurda flowers outside while he cleaned up. Wylan offered assistance, but Colm ended up getting them outside. The air was fresh and the sky was purple fading into black, and Wylan was shocked by it.

“It’s really nice out here, Jesper,” he said, smiling at the stars.

He couldn’t see his reaction, but he felt their shoulders brush. “Yeah, it was a pretty good place to grow up.”

Wylan’s scoff held humour. “It’s better than ‘pretty good’. I might have to visit here more often.”

“I wouldn’t mind bringing you back,” he said, nudging him with more effort.

Wylan finally looked at him and smiled. “I’d like that.”

They heard the door shut quietly, and both looked behind them as Colm came around the corner on the wrapped porch. “Jesper, can you run the dishwasher?”

“Da,” he whined, “Don’t threaten Wylan.”

He held his hand up and laughed, and Wylan found it hard to be scared of Colm despite how much Jesper told him about being in trouble as a child. “I promise I won’t.”

“Fine,” he sighed, standing upright. He bumped brushed a curl out of Wylan’s face. It felt more intimate than it usually did. “Yell if he’s mean.”

He laughed. “I will.”

Jesper disappeared inside, and Colm stepped over to Wylan. He smiled at him, and Wylan returned it, the crickets filling the air around them. Colm was as tall as Jesper, but after the eyes their similarities ended. He had much light skin, tanner than Wylan’s but certainly white, and his hair was a bright orange. He wore a nice overcoat and jeans, and he’d put on different shoes to come outside.

“Wylan,” he said slowly, and Wylan started to worry a little. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Yes sir,” he said, nodding.

He smiled again. “I want you to know that Jesper really likes you, and I think you make him very happy. I hope he makes you happy too, because you seem like a very nice man.”

He nodded, and he wasn’t lying when he said, “He does.” His heart felt a little heavy tricking Colm like this, even if he had been honest most of the night.

“I hope,” he sighed, looking out at the field. “I hope you’ll give him a chance,” he said carefully.

Wylan shook his head. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Jesper is a lot. I love my son, but he has a way of getting into trouble. I know he’s working so hard to fix it, and I’m very proud of all he’s achieved despite some issues he’s faced.” He looked back at him. “I know you know about them. He’s told me you’ve come to get him from game halls and bars.” Wylan nodded solemnly. “Please don’t give up on him. It seems like you give him a place to be that doesn’t tempt him.” He shook his head. “I’m not saying you’re responsible for him, by any means. I don’t expect that of you, and neither does Jesper. But,” he sighed, “I suppose I’m asking you to look out for him.”

Wylan nodded quickly. “I will. I do. I promise.”

He smiled. “Thank you, and,” he held out his hand, “It was very nice meeting you. I do hope you’ll come again.”

He shook his hand, but he didn’t let go. “Um, Colm, I actually-”

“Da,” Jesper called as the door swung open. “Where did you put the ice cream?”

Colm sighed and stepped back to peer at his son around the wall. “The freezer.”

“Which part?”

He sighed. “One moment, Wyl-”

“Oh, no,” he said, stepping around and going to Jesper. “It wasn’t anything. Thank you.”

“Oh,” Colm smiled and nodded, “Alright then.”

They went inside and Colm found the icecream where Jesper “already looked” and they all watched a movie while they ate their dessert. Colm sat in a chair while Wylan and Jesper sat together on the couch, and Wylan started to doze off on Jesper's shoulder after he set his bowl down.

He sat up making his way into the kitchen and starting Jesper's coffee pot, then turning it off because he didn't know if Jesper was bringing them coffee. He sighed and sat down on the couch, pulling up his phone and listening to Jesper's message again. He couldn't help but smile at it, and he couldn't help but flush remembering Jesper held his hand and kissed him last night and even though it was an act it had felt so tauntingly normal.

Eventually Jesper jostled him enough for him to stand and manage a smile and goodbye to Colm. Then Jesper dragged him down the porch and to the car and he slumped into the passenger seat. Jesper walked away for a while, and Wylan saw him and Colm talking on the porch. He registered Jesper laughing, then he closed his eyes and he was asleep again.

When he woke up he was not in his bed. He was in Jesper's bed, he knew because he had been in his room playing video games with him on more than one occasion, sat comfortably on his cheap comforter. He looked around, rubbing his eyes before noticing his phone was on. There was a voice message on it of Jesper so smugly explaining that Wylan was too tired and grumpy to get out of the car at his flat. So had Jesper turned around and brought him to his flat and carried him upstairs to put him to bed. He said he had slept on the couch and that he was currently out getting them breakfast and would be back soon. He ended the message with an obnoxious kissing noise, then it ended. Wylan groaned, knowing he was grumpy when he was tired. He didn't remember Jesper ever even arriving at his flat.

When Jesper strolled in the door, greeting him cheerfully and kicking it closed behind him, Wylan counted to a minute in his head. He gave Jesper time to set down their coffee and bags of food, starting to get out plates. Wylan didn't talk for the minute. When he got to fifty seconds Jesper noticed his silence.

"Wylan?" He came around the counter and Wylan got up at fifty five seconds. "Are you okay? Are you mad? I swear I tried to get you out of the car I-"

Jesper smiled, and Wylan watched his face falter between disbelief and utter joy. "Actually you haven't had the biggest crush on me because mine is bigger." He looked over at the clock. "We're still boyfriends for another seven hours."

Wylan grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought his stupidly gorgeous, dark lips to his own, and Jesper closed his eyes as soon as he realised what was happening. Jesper grabbed him around the waist and Wylan put the hand that wasn't pulling him in his chest. It was more than the small, chaste kisses Jesper had given him last night. It was long and fast all at once, lasting but passionate in a way that made Wylan hear his heart beating. They drew back, thankfully at a similar time, and stared still with their hands on each other and Wylan's hips to Jesper's which pressed against the counter.

"I," he said, "have had the biggest crush on you for months and I don't want to pretend to be your boyfriend. I want to be your boyfriend."

"Yeah?"

"Then ask me now before the clock runs out and you have to ask me on a date instead."

He let out a long breath, looking a little astonished but still leaning forwards to kiss him again. It was shorter, and when he leaned back he only hovered a second from his face. "Wylan Van Eck."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

He grinned. "Yes."

They kissed again, and again after that, and Wylan could have kissed Jesper all morning if his stomach hadn't growled and ruined it. Jesper laughed and teased him, and it felt so familiar and so lovely that Wylan kissed his cheek quickly before going and putting their food on their plates. Jesper got his favourite meal from a coffee shop down the street, then brought him a chai drink to accompany it. They say together on Jesper's couch, Wylan resti g behind his legs and against his chest, Jesper's arm slung around his shoulders.

Jesper set his empty coffee cup down. "I'm glad we can do this romantically now instead of platonically."

Wylan laughed. "Was it ever platonic?"

He shook his head. "Not for me."

He leaned on his shoulder and closed his eyes. "Mhm." He looked up at Jesper. “Any ideas for our next date?”

----------------------------

“Oh, so many, we have to do this a lot more often.”

"How are we going to tell you dad we only just now got together?"

He grinned and leaned down to kiss him again. He tasted like mocha and honey bread. "Let's worry about that later, Dove. We'll figure everything out."

Wylan grinned and closed his eyes. "Alright."

#wylan x jesper #jesper x wylan #soc wylan #soc jesper #soc wesper #six of crows #six of crows duology #written lore #soc fanfic #soc fandom #soc duology #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #wesper fanfiction #wesper fic #wesper fanfic #wesper #wesper week 2023

[kazscrows]

Crooked Kingdom Reread

Part Two: A Killing Wind

Chapter 5: Jesper

Once again he found himself reaching for his revolvers, longing for the cool, familiar feel of their pearl handles beneath his thumbs…

…Kaz said they’d get them back in good time, but he doubted Kaz would be so calm and collected if someone had swiped his cane. You’re the one who put them on the table like a nub, Jesper reminded himself. He’d done it for Inej. And if he was honest, he’d done it for Kaz too, to show he was willing to do what it took to make things right. Not that it seemed to matter much.

Jesper is trying so hard

It hurts so much because everything was an accident

I’m sorry Kaz has the emotional range of a teaspoon when it comes to expressing his feelings and just talking things through

He sometimes wondered what might have happened if he’d never gone out with his new friends that night, if he’d never walked into that gambling parlor and taken that first spin at Makker’s Wheel. It was meant to be harmless fun. And for everyone else, it had been. But Jesper’s life had split like a log into two distinct and uneven pieces: the time before he’d stepped up to that wheel and every day since.

Jesper’s gambling addiction is so interesting to me

It makes me wonder if it’s the gambling itself or just the idea that he can’t know the outcome that draws him in

Like.. is it the uncertainty that gives him the adrenaline rush much like how he enjoys the unknown and thrill of the fight?

He’s such a deep character

Every one of the Crows are really

Also I wonder where those supposed “friends” of his are now

Poor Jes is nervous to face his father

He’d hoped that Kaz would offer to accompany him. But when they’d split up to approach the university, Kaz had spared him only one dark glance. The message had been clear: You dug this grave. Go lie in it.

Ouch

Not even “dig yourself back out” just basically leaving him for dead…

That’s pretty harsh Kaz…

It had been nearly two years since Jesper had set foot on university grounds. He’d never officially withdrawn from school. He hadn’t even really decided not to attend. He’d simply started spending more and more time on East Stave, until he looked up one day and realized the Barrel had become his home.

Ever single one of these children wound up in the Barrel on accident

I guess that’s the point though

No one willingly chooses that place. That life.

All his attention focused on the man standing near the eastern wall, gazing up at the stained-glass windows, a crumpled hat clasped in his hands. With a pang, Jesper realized his father had worn his best suit. He’d combed his Kaelish red hair tidily back from his brow. There was gray in it now that hadn’t been there when Jesper left home.

This just makes my heart ache

Also Mr. Fahey sounds like a sweet man, he’s doing his best

Jesper’s throat felt dry-sand parched. “Da,” he croaked. His father’s head snapped up and Jesper steeled himself for what might come next—whatever insults or outrage his father hurled at him, he deserved. But he wasn’t prepared for the relieved grin that split his father’s craggy features. Someone might as well have put a bullet right in Jesper’s heart.

“Jes!” his father cried. And then Jesper was crossing the courtyard and his father’s arms were tight around him, hugging him so hard Jesper thought he actually felt his ribs bend.

I always think about the parable of the prodigal son here

The first thing Jesper’s father does upon seeing him isn’t to scold him or make him feel ashamed

He embraces him and is overjoyed to just see him once again

I love that parable

Ah right, then they start getting shot at

“Wylan, tell me you’re packing more than pens, ink, and weevil makings.”

“I’ve got two flash bombs and something new I rigged up with a little more, um, wallop.”

“Bombs?” Jesper’s father asked, blinking as if to wake himself from a bad dream.

Jesper shrugged helplessly. “Think of them as science experiments?”

Poor Mr. Fahey has no real idea what‘s truly going on

“Jesper—”

“Da, I swear I’ll explain everything, but right now all you need to know is that we’re in a bad situation, and bad situations happen to be my area of expertise.” And it was true. Jesper could feel himself coming alive, the worry that had been dogging his steps since he’d gotten news of his father’s arrival in Ketterdam falling away. He felt free, dangerous, like lightning rolling over the prairie. “Trust me, Da.”

“All right, boy. All right.”

Jesper really does thrive in a fight

And I love that his dad just trusts him

Okay this fight scene would actually be so cool to see live action

I need that SoC spin-off so we can get here someday!

Jesper reloaded and popped up from behind the fountain, shooting.

“All Saints,” he shouted as pain tore through his shoulder. He really hated being shot. He shrank back behind the stone lip. He flexed his hand, testing the damage to his arm. Just a scratch, but it hurt like hell, and he was bleeding all over his new tweed jacket. “This is why it doesn’t pay to try to look respectable,” he muttered.

I guess Jesper has been shot before. Makes sense but still

They way he’s more upset about his clothes being ruined over the actual idea of being shot though

Also I can hear Kit saying that. His poor jacket

“Help me,” said Jesper. “We need to barricade the entrance.”

The man behind the desk wore gray scholar’s robes. His nostrils were flared so wide in effrontery that Jesper feared being sucked up one of them. “Young man—”

Help I just snorted—

Jesper pointed his gun at the scholar’s chest. “Move.”

“Jesper!” his father said.

“Don’t worry, Da. People point guns at each other all the time in Ketterdam. It’s basically a handshake.”

“Is that true?” his father asked as the scholar grudgingly moved aside and they shoved the heavy desk in front of the door.

“Absolutely,” said Wylan.

“Certainly not,” said the scholar.

Please why is this so funny??

I’m dying

Jesper really just took time to stop and flirt with a girl as they’re being pursued by people who are shooting at them

People are literally trying to kill you! Now is not the time, my guy!!

—these were the moments he lived for. He should be buzzing from the excitement of the fight. The thrill was still there, fizzing through his blood, but beside it was a cold, unfamiliar sensation that felt like it was draining the joy from him. All he could think was, Da could have been hurt. He could have died. Jesper was used to people shooting at him. He would have been a little insulted if they’d stopped shooting at him. This was different. His father hadn’t chosen this fight. His only crime had been putting his faith in his son.

Oh Jesper-

He makes my heart hurt a lot

That’s the problem with Ketterdam, Jesper thought as they stumbled uncertainly through the dark. Trusting the wrong person can get you killed.

Oh my gosh Jesper thinks this and then it immediately goes to Nina for the next chapter

Is this saying something about Matthias trusting Nina??

Or maybe foreshadowing for Matthias trusting that a drüskelle wouldn’t kill an unarmed man…

Or it’s late and I’m just thinking too much

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#here have this before I fall asleep- #six of crows #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #wylan van eck #nina zenik #matthias helvar #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #soc #ck #reading #books #leigh bargudo #kazscrows #kazscrowsreadsck

[frick6101719]

The Last Songbird

Well it's Kanej Week but it's also Exam Week from Hell, and so unfortunately the last chapter of TLS will not be up today. However, today's theme is lyrics, and this fic is named after a song, so have some lyrics and a sneak peek I guess?

~~~

Under this crooked spell, how can anybody resist? He keeps her under lock and key  She keeps him on the to-do list Porcelain nights and skin-tight moves They live between the comedy and comedown blues In love and war, all is lost and found Is it just the case of the last shakedown? While the world spins every way, ‘round and ‘round All is simple on the upside down Listen to the sound of one hand clap in the pale of the moonlight All those years frozen in the spotlight Nowhere now, maybe somehow they just burned too bright? Even when they won they always lost themselves to the sideways glances Praying to the Saints of doomed romances Tell their tale: love is not for sale It's a word you heard The last songbird

~~~

The young man turns to her, and he must recognise her but he doesn’t let it show on his face. He looks her up and down and it makes her skin crawl, though he seems only interested in determining that she is here and whole. 

Heleen sighs. “Is your boss prepared to bless us with his presence now?” she asks. Her voice is sweet as honey, and Inej knows that means the sting is not far. 

The young man nods. “As agreed.” 

He leaves Inej standing alone with Tante Heleen and very little idea of what is going on. She dares not hope... but really it’s easy not to hope when being back in this room makes her adrenaline surge and her mind flood with the memory of lashes against her skin, blood in her mouth, sweaty hands grabbing her body...

The Peacock raises a perfect blonde eyebrow at her. “Well, Little Lynx, tonight is quite a big night for you. It seems your performance of late has caught the attention of a man with an appetite for Suli girls and the kruge to eat his fill.” Inej tries not to react, but sees Heleen’s eyes brighten when she catches her flinch. “I’m almost loath to part with you, after what a good girl you’ve been recently. And to a man like this one…” She really does look genuinely sorry. Inej at least knows enough not to trust the Peacock's looks. She has learned her lesson. “You could have become something wonderful here, you know. You were just starting to realise your real potential. I think you might have become my best girl.” 

Inej clears her throat. She feels nothing. She is barely here. “Then why sell me?”

“Come now Inej, you’re smarter than that. Why would I sell you?”

She feels the sound of her name like a slap, but manages not to recoil with the impact. She nods. She is smarter than that. “The price was right.”

Heleen’s smile is dazzling. “Ah, Little Lynx. I can’t tell you what a pity that—”

Inej had heard the quiet tapping of a cane while Heleen was speaking, but the Peacock had been much too interested in the sound of her own voice to care. Now, as Dirtyhands steps into the parlour, crow’s-head cane in black-gloved hand, her face goes lily white. Her pretty mouth opens, closes, and opens and closes again, all without a sound. 

Inej doesn’t turn around. Her eyes are fixed on her mistress, waiting for her to find her voice.

It takes her a long moment.

“You’re dead,” she whispers. 

Kaz shrugs. Inej can feel his presence behind her, can feel the edge of his indifferent warmth radiating from his body. “That’s what they tell me.”

~~~

Find the fic so far here, if you're interested.

#Next week #fingers crossed it will be next week #The Last Songbird fic #a fic... of mine??? #Kanej Week #Kanej fic #six of crows #maybe doesn't fit the Kanej week tag since it's an au #but I cannot make a gif or art so this is the best I can do

[natashxromanovf]

Confessions In The Moonlight

Jesper Fahey x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 891

WARNINGS: /

REQUESTED: {x} by @tadahoni, friends to lovers

SUMMARY: On a peaceful night, Jesper finally finds the courage to tell you how he really feels. 

A/N: thank you so much for requesting and being so kind while doing so! i really hope i did it justice, hope you like this <33 i forgot to put in the prompt tho, so i apologise for that :) gif credits @tennant

Jesper figured out how he really feels a while ago, but he never had the time to express it until tonight.

The realisation started one day when he walked in on you loudly laughing at one of many jokes Nina has told that day. He didn’t recognize it at the first second but he could swear it was the most angelic thing he has heard in all his life. When he connected the chuckles to a face, he was surprised how he could never noticed it before. Of course, you laughed in front of him many times yet he never paid much mind - but once he noticed it, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He started noticing other things too - like how beautiful you are or how your eyes light up when Kaz “compliments” you (well, compliments in his own, Kaz way). And if he’s honest, he would move the earth just so that he could never stop hearing your giggles.

“Aren’t you cold?” Jesper questions when he silently sits down beside you, though you heard him the second he stepped foot on the roof.

“Maybe a little. But I don't wanna leave yet,” you say without even looking at him. Your gaze is fixated on the stars lighting up the night sky, a small smile painted on your face. With a sigh, he removes the jacket hanging on his shoulders, rather putting it on yours instead. You thank him by placing your head on his shoulder, releasing a breath full of tiredness.

“Long day?” he asks, pressing a sweet kiss against the crown of your head. You close your eyes momentarily, taking in the comfort he provides simply by being there before thinking of an answer.

“Well, between climbing a couple dozen of buildings with Inej and shooting arrows for an hour straight, I’d say I deserve to be tired,” you joke, a quiet chuckle escaping Jesper’s lips. “I just needed to get away from all the chaos down there,” you mutter, getting serious for a minute or two.

“Yeah, I thought I’d find you here when you disappeared from the Club,” he murmurs, putting an arm around your waist protectively and pulling you even closer to him. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he expresses, making you lift your head up and shoot him a curious glance. “It’s been on my mind for a while,” he starts, taking your hand in his. You look down at your interviewed fingers, slightly rubbing his hand with your thumb encouragingly.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me, Jes. I won’t judge,” you whisper, looking back up.

“I realised something. Something that I should have known for a long time but I just started to notice it a couple of weeks ago. And I should have told you the minute I knew what was going on but with back-to-back heists, there was just no time.”

“Jesper, you’re starting to scare me, what is it?” you ask, your tone glazed with concern.

“No, it’s nothing bad!” He quickly defends. “It’s just hard to tell, I guess. The thing I wanted to tell you is that… I like you, Y/N/N. Like a lot. And I don’t mean as a friend, I mean as in like you, like you,” he starts rambling, an adorable trait of his you’ve grown to love.

“Jes,” you cut him off, an amused smile on your face.

“Yes?” he questions, having a hard time establishing eye contact.

“I know.”

“You know?” he sounds very surprised.

“I know,” you reassure, cupping his face. “I’ve known what’s going on the second you started acting differently. To be honest, you’ve always been affectionate but in the past few weeks, that increased, like a lot. And I didn’t miss the glances you were throwing my way, or the way you seemed more and more concerned about my well-being with every heist,” you explain, finally getting him to look at you. “And I like you too, dummy. I always have,” you confess, a big grin growing on Jesper’s face.

“You do?”

“I do,” you nod, a giggle slipping past your lips. He lets out a sigh of relief, one he didn’t even realise he was holding.

“Well, I guess there’s only one thing left to do now,” he murmurs, inching a little closer.

“Oh yeah, and what is that?” you tease, moving closer.

“This,” he says, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss is slow and emotional and sweet, exactly how you imagined it would feel like.

When the need to breathe becomes too much you both pull away, your foreheads still leaning against one another’s. The first kiss wasn’t perfect like none are, but it was special because it was yours. And oh my god, you just kissed Jesper Fahey, your best friend since the day you joined the Dregs. That thought makes you let out the loveliest, most joyful laugh you have ever let slip past your lips and it’s like music to his ears.

“I could listen to that sound forever,” he comments, finally opening his eyes. You do the same, soon after leaning against his chest, hiding in the crook of his neck, still giggling from happiness. It’s safe to say that this was the best day of your life, even besides the tiredness resting in your chest.

taglist: @sheraayasher

i hope you enjoyed this! don't forget to like, reblog and/or comment, it really help writers with motivation <33

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#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey x you #jesper fahey x y/n #jesper fahey fluff #jesper fahey drabble #jesper fahey #shadow and bone fluff #shadow and bone fic #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #six of crows #taja's requested fics

[statticscribbles]

Bite

Summary: Kaz!Eddie Munson/Reader; Eddie gives in to the darkness Vecna called forth; and you’re in his way

“Eddie?” You watch Dustin limp through the gate after you. You hadn’t had time to turn and look when Eddie had told you to run; when he assured you he was going to play for Chrissy; to provide a distraction. Dustin hadn’t either; which is why he looks so upset right now. He just offers the necklace Eddie always wears out to you. Your stomach sinks; how are you going to tell Wayne?

Wayne Munson pulls you into a hug before you can actually say anything.

“We were so worried Y/N; you just vanished…” he squeezes you so much you wheeze without meaning to.

“We?”

“Hey babe; glad to see you’re.. Oh my necklace.” Eddie doesn’t get to say anything else; Dustin tackling him to the ground crying.

“Dustin get off me; let me hug my girlfriend.”

“In a minute man; I thought.. I thought those r-rocks got you.” Dustin sniffles and Eddie keeps his arms around Dustin squeezing him and forcing him to sit on the bed.

“Stay off your ankle; or I’ll call Steve over and he’ll drag you to the first aid area.” You just stare at him; Eddie laughs a little and you can’t breathe; smiling reflexively when he does.

“I can explain later; when things are a little more settled.” 

As it turns out explaining is fairly simple; after Dustin had escaped; Eddie, who everyone presumed dead, was actually unconscious; he’d woken up, and managed to drag himself to some gate that had been close by. 

“So what now?”

“We help El get Vecna; without anyone else dying.” 

“Y/N you need to..” Eddie tries to shove you back away from the gate and you glare at him.

“No; you’re alive; I’m not letting you leave to go get killed again!”

“Y/N; really not the time right now…” Eddie sounds strained and you huff.

“It’s alright; I know about…I know about Kaz..” He freezes.

“How do you know…” You nudge your shirt sleeve up, a small 02 in black ink is on your wrist.

“Henry told me.”

“Y/N no…” Eddie jerks, waking up almost screaming; instead you stir, grumbling and sitting up slowly; letting Eddie’s arms wrap around you.

“It was a bad dream; I’m here. You’re alive.” You pull him back to bed and he sighs; keeping his arms wrapped around you.

Your eyes fly open; frantically searching for what’s stopping you from breathing, you can see Eddie hovering over you; actually hovering; his eyes rolled back in his head and snarl on his face.

“Hey baby; just close your eyes again.” It’s his voice but you also know it’s not; you try your best not to close your eyes instead glaring at whatever seems to have possessed your boyfriend.

“Eddie…”

“Names Kaz sweet thing; you know; having access to Eddies’ mind means that…” He leans closer, hands moving to the side of your neck; holding you onto the bed.

“Which means I know everything the two of you have done…” He leans forward kissing your cheek and then down your neck.

“Eddiieee…” You whine a little, his hands moving your arms up above your head to keep you pinned down. He chuckles, leg moving between yours.

“Told you sweet thing; names Kaz.” He grins into your neck before he bites down; one of his hands covers your screams.

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#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #kaz eddie #kas eddie #kaz theory #kaz the bloodyhanded #kas the betrayer #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things reader insert #stranger things au #stranger things headcanon #halloween challenge #stattic #written #kaz eddie x reader #kaz eddie imagine

[lady-ashfade]

She’s made from the finest cloth

Yandere Crows x fem!reader.

Characters: Nina+Inej.

Notes: Just a fun little thing I wanted to make! Tell me if I should make more and introduce the others.

Warnings: Stalking, spying, future yandere tendencies, naive reader.

Each morning you woke up, getting dressed in a finest dress to walk around the market with a umbrella. It was unusual for everyone how you seemed so happy, so out of it like you didn’t know you were in the slums. You’d smile at anyone passing by, always offering money to the beggars on the street.

Each time you’d walk pass a group of hunger filled eyes that followed you so carefully and never noticed the attention on you. The group were the most dangerous in the city, everyone knew of them but you. Could you not take your surroundings seriously? How naive you were.

The wraith was the first to notice you. She would often sit on the rooftops and watch the early routines of everyone below. If it was for information to bring to kaz, or just a sense of calmness for herself, she always did it. And each morning you shined through the streets from everyone else. A beautiful woman who was clearly wealthy, but it was confusing why you were so kind.

After awhile she liked to watch you, it was her favorite pass time. How’d you make the children smile and offer them kindness no one else did, the youngest beggars were always looked down the most. Or how you could get so happy at ripe fruit, or something shiny to catch your attention.

Nina was the next to meet you. She was in need of a few fabrics, and Inej knew just the best place for them. You had visited the cart so many times they had to be good, I mean you had amazing taste. She tagged along with Nina hoping to get a closer look at you. Nina held a few fabrics in her hand and looked at Inej who not once actually listened to a word she was saying.

“Who are you looking for?” Inej was caught by surprise and shook her head, saying she wasn’t looking for anybody. “I’ve been looking around since we left, your eyes look at everyone here. So do tell me, is he cute?” She asked with a wink and Inej got flustered for a second and then smiled.

“It’s not a him.” Nina gasped and looked at her, then linked her arms with hers. “Do tell, kaz will not be happy of any gender that has you this entranced.” She teased and Inej rolled her eyes. She was going to defend herself but she saw the pink color of a style dress you always wear, it was you walking this way. A lump caught in her throat and she froze, just enough time for Nina to take notice.

When Nina laid her eyes on you her heart stopped for a second…That smile looked so warm. The morning sun shined down and onto your umbrella that sparkled. It was as if you were walking on clouds because of how happy you looked. “She’s dashing.” Nina whispered and Inej nodded. Inej felt the feelings in her body grow, you were so close and only a few feet away. All she had to do was walk close and she could touch you- See you up close and personal.

She has been watching you for a few months now and she never got this close, and now realized her mistake. But she was so nervous and it wasn’t her style to feel such things. “I’m going to talk to her.” Nina said and let go off Inej and wakes your way, Inej a heart stopped and called after her.

You looked down at jewelry in the cases in front of you and smiled at each of them, how could you choose between them? “Excuse me.” A female voice said beside you. You looked up and saw a pretty girl with brown hair and fair skin, a dashing smile on her face. “My friend is in need of a pair of earrings, what do you think would suit her? I mean you’re so stylish, we need your help.”

Inej stared at you, you were looking at her- It felt amazing to have your attention. “I’d love to help, tell me what do you like.” You offered her a sweet smile and cheered. “Small of larger?” You asked and Inej had no clue what to say. “What ever you think.” She slightly stumbled on her words as the words got caught in her throat.

Nina smiled, “I’m Nina, and this Inej.” She hooked her arm with her friend once more. “I’m y/n” you beamed and turned around to look at the earrings for a pair you thought right. They watched you scan and think so carefully, like the world rested in this decision.

It was so cute.

It was as if the both of them snapped at the same time. How adorable you truly were, so worthy of the world and protection. They felt themselves get drawn to you, to have you just inches away at all times. “I found it.” You took two earrings into your fingers and held them up with a proud smile.

The small green gems shined in the light, they were in fact perfect but it was because you picked them. “They’d look beautiful on you.” You charmed and Inej felt herself blushing. She smiled and took them out of your hands and when she did she felt your skin on hers she couldn’t get enough. Her mind screams for more, more of you, more of your smile and attention.

“How much are they?” She asked and you giggled, a sound the saints had blessed them to hear. “Well to you they are free, I do hope you find a good use for them.” They both were taken aback at your words. Reaching into your coin purse you handed the men the money to pay for the jewelry. You had just met them and you had bought them something? Don’t you know how dangerous that could be?

Yes, it was kind and thoughtful of you but that’s what made it dangerous. You threw out money like it was nothing- Anyone else would take advantage of that. “There must be something we can do?” Nina asked and stepped closer to you. “I like to make people smile, so really this was my payment.” You smiled one again and grabbed your basket you had set on the table.

“If you ever see me again do say hello, but I must finish up and make my way home.” You bowed your head and walked away so gracefully to them. Nina felt her stomach twisted at the new feeling she felt. They both glanced at each other and it became clear to both of them, a understanding.

That you must be protected at all cost.

#six of crows x reader #six of crows #yandere six of crows #yandere six of crows x reader #yandere nina zenik x reader #yandere Nina Zenik #yandere inej ghafa #yandere Inej ghafa x reader #yandere shadow and bone x reader #yandere shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #yandere kaz brekker x readwr #yandere jesper fahey x reader #nina zenik x reader #Inej ghafa x reader

[sophierequests]

hello ! i would like to congratulate you for your 100 followers. i discovered your work some days ago and it’s pure gold for real !! it’s so amazing ! 💓

by the way, i saw that you requests are open and i had a little idea on my mind. could it be possible a jesper fahey x reader where reader and him are best friends. reader doesn’t like to show her emotions and tends to deny feelings she has for him, being quite harsh sometimes. then one day he confronts her about her behavior and she admits her feelings ?

i don’t know if it’s interesting and if you want to write it. if you don’t, it’s okay don’t worry about it ! and i’m sorry if i made some mistakes since english isn’t my first language.

falling for you, fool's gold

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x f!Reader

A/N: Hi! First of all, thank you sm for the compliment, I'm so thankful that you enjoy my writing <333 Jesper fics give me life, so I'd probably write everything if it involves our favourite sharpshooter. But I really enjoyed your request, so I hope you like this, sweet anon!

Summary: Suppressed feelings create some unwanted tensions.

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 2.2K

Warnings: Mention of gambling and alcohol

“When are you finally going to put us out of our misery and just ask him out?” You almost choked on your drink when Nina said that. The two girls sitting across from you only giggled after seeing your eyes widen ever so slightly.

“I have absolutely no clue who you are talking about.” Lie. You knew exactly who they were talking about. Even though you tried to hide your feelings as best as you could, Nina could feel the way your heart skipped a beat whenever he was around, so it obviously didn’t take Kaz’s level of deduction skills to figure that out.

“Dirty liar.” She whispered, leaning towards you with a devilish grin, almost tipping over the glass of whiskey in front of her whilst doing so. Inej only gave you an apologetic smile, but you knew that she was enjoying this just as much as Nina did.

“Nina’s right, Y/N. It would do you both some good if you would just tell him. And we could finally stop walking on eggshells whenever Jesper and you are in the same room.”

“I understand where you’re coming from, but Jesper and I are just friends.” Nina let out a dramatic groan, throwing her arm on the table and resting her head on top of it, looking up at you with pleading eyes. Always the drama queen. "There are absolutely no romantic feelings involved."

“Where are no romantic feelings involved? What are you girls gossiping about?” Jesper suddenly appeared in front of you, visibly in the mood to join in on the conversation. Maybe you should order a new drink.

“Y/N’s dating life - or the lack thereof.” The Heartrender answered quickly, stifling a laugh when she saw the look of horror that flashed over your face when she said that. Thankfully, Jesper hadn't noticed it, instead raising an inquisitive brow at you before he shoved himself into the booth beside you.

“That's a topic which I'll gladly stay for!" He gave you a wink, swiftly putting his arm around your shoulders and pulling you a bit closer to his side. Saints, how you hated this.

However, you also hated hating this. He was your best friend. Hugging, touching, and occasionally flirting were something you had always done. You had never been uncomfortable with that before until you started to realize that you might think of him a little differently than you initially thought. He didn't deserve to be subjected to your - probably very much unrequited - feelings and all the effects it had on your behaviour towards him.

"I don't think she necessarily wants you to stay," Inej commented slyly, causing Jesper to frown and direct his attention back to you again.

"Why's that? Do I play a role in it?" He inquired with a smug smile playing across his lips. "Have I missed you pouring your heart out and telling everyone about the crush you have on me?"

"In your dreams, Fahey." You tried to play off the stinging embarrassment you felt. You wanted to focus on something else, stir the conversation in another direction, but whenever you tried to do so, you were made painfully aware of the way his arm laid on your shoulders. The way his hand mindlessly played with some strands of your hair, twirling it around his finger. The way his breath felt hot against your neck when he spoke to you. This was terrible.

"Oh come on, you know it's the truth." It was an obvious joke, you could hear it in his tone. But it made you feel even smaller than you felt before.

"No." Yes.

"You'll do eventually." This sounded less like a joke, the wink accompanying it didn't help.

"Just drop it, Jesper." You shrugged off his shoulder dismissively, resulting in him giving Nina and Inej a confused glance before carefully retreating his arm. You never called him 'Jesper' unless you were mad at him, so why would you start now? But he just couldn't put a finger on what might have annoyed you. Did he take it too far with one of his jokes? You had never minded him saying things like that.

"Okay?" He put emphasis on drawing out the word as long as he could, his expression changing from confused to worried. He wanted nothing more than to ask what was wrong, however, judging by your previous reaction, you probably wouldn't appreciate that very much.

Inej managed to lead the conversation in another direction - one that wouldn't force you to talk about things you didn't want to say out loud - but the tension between you and Jesper didn't die down by any means. The tension only got stronger the longer the silence settled. And in the evening, you didn't even hit him before returning to the Slat. He made an effort to ask the two girls that remained in their respective seats at the club, with no result. They simply feigned a clueless expression before leaving him to figure it out by himself.

The following week didn't help turn things around. Quite the opposite actually. It managed to make things even more awkward. You didn't sit as close to him as you used to during meetings. You skipped certain meals if that meant that you didn't have to be around him for any longer than needed. And you weren’t up for spending nights at the club with him anymore. It was as if your friendship had been put on hold and you went back to being strangers again.

You didn’t necessarily enjoy this arrangement either, but you worried that you might let something slip whenever he was around you, so you tried your best to avoid him. It was only after one particularly draining day that you didn’t feel like spending the evening cooped up in your room and decided to spend some time in the living room. Most of the others seemed to be out, so you could enjoy the quiet and continue reading whatever novel had currently caught your interest.

This supposed peace didn’t last long. You didn’t even manage to finish one chapter until you heard footsteps coming up the stairs. That didn’t have to mean anything. It could literally be anyone. But of course, luck wasn’t on your side, and the only person you didn’t want to see walked through the door.

At first, he didn’t even notice you, completely focused on adjusting the holster of his guns. But as soon as he reached the couch, probably intending to also take some time to unwind, he paused for a second, staring you up and down as if he had never seen you before.

“Hi.” He broke the silence, standing only a few metres away from you with his hands fidgeting in front of him like a child that expected scolding.

You turned your head to face him, having hesitated to do so in hopes that he would just continue walking. His hair was slightly damp and so were his clothes, which told you that he probably just came back from drinking - or gambling -, since it had been raining outside for the last couple of hours. Normally, you would have joined him during and after his non-work-related trips to the club, providing him with whatever kind of support or company he needed. Not this time though.

“Hi.” He almost looked startled that you actually interacted with him, no matter whether it was only briefly before getting back to your book.

“I, uhm, do you mind if I join you in here?” That question hit you right where it hurt. Jesper would have never asked to simply be around you. He would have respected your boundaries had you said no, but that would have probably never been a real issue.

“No, I don’t.” You answered, giving him your best impression of an inviting smile, however, still quickly taking your eyes off of him.

He didn’t sit next to you how he usually would, instead turning to lounge on the couch opposite you, pulling out his revolvers to absent-mindedly clean them. You could see the occasional curious glances he gave you when he thought you weren’t looking, and it drove you mad that you were too afraid to properly interact with him.

“Listen, Y/N.” He started with a sigh, causing you to look up from your novel to focus on him. “I don’t really understand what I did wrong, but I know that something is wrong. But if you’re avoiding me because of what happened last week, I’m sorry. I should’ve just stopped when you told me to. I know that you don’t have feelings for me, and it was stupid of me to make you uncomfortable by acting like you do.”

“I wouldn’t have had a problem with you annoying me if it hadn’t been the truth.” You thought, biting the inside of your cheeks to not break out crying.

“What?” Shit, did you say that out loud? The befuddled look on his face gave you a clear answer to that. “What did you say?”

“Nothing that concerns you.” He sat up straight again, gaping at you with wide eyes. You really should’ve just gone to bed.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” He moved to stand up, but so did you. Whatever he was about to do, you didn’t want to be part of it. “You can’t just say something like that and pretend like I’m not supposed to care about it.” A mixture of emotions flashed over his face, and you couldn’t quite pinpoint what his exact feelings were at this point, nor did you feel like figuring it out.

“Jesper, stop it.”

“No, I won’t. This does concern me, and I have every right to care about it.”

“We both say stuff we don’t mean. That doesn’t mean that we have to talk about it.” Jesper’s expression changed to one of exasperation. For the first time since knowing him, he looked genuinely mad.

“Stuff we don’t mean? Ignoring me for a week because of this issue doesn’t really feel like you didn’t mean it.” He tried to take a step towards you, but the closer he got, the further you stepped back. “Just talk to me, please!”

“Would you mind just shutting up? I don’t have feelings for you. This comment meant nothing, no matter how much you might read into it.” You didn’t mean to say that. You didn’t mean to yell at him. You didn’t mean to hurt him. But you did.

He was quiet for a moment. You saw the way his lips quivered, trying to bite back the hurt you had caused. You had never yelled at him before. Not even when anyone else would’ve probably been close to murdering him.

“Goodnight, Jesper.” You didn’t wait for him to reply. Without sparing him another glance, you dashed out of the room, flying up the stairs to your room before he could think about following you. You felt utterly terrible, and the only thing you wanted to do now was cry. Saints, you felt stupid.

“Y/N!” His voice paired with the sound of his footsteps followed you up the stairs. Can’t he just take a hint? Before you could even reach your room, he seized your wrist to spin you around. “I’m not letting you ignore me for another week.”

“Jes-”

“No, you’re not doing this again. You’re not shutting me out again.” His grip on your wrist tightened as he spoke, his gray eyes piercing yours intently. “You can talk to me about this. Please talk to me about this.” Even though everything inside you screamed at you to push him away, you simply nodded, dragging him with you towards your room, since you didn’t intend on airing out your personal problems in the middle of the Slat.

“I love you.” As soon as the door shut behind him, the three words you had dreaded saying out loud just tumbled out of your mouth. Jesper, who was still holding onto your hand, was caught completely off-guard by that confession. He had already roughly put together what was going on, but he hadn’t expected you to actually say it. “And I hate that I do. Because whether I would have kept it a secret or not, it would always have an effect on our friendship, and I never wanted that to-”

His lips were suddenly pressed against yours, his hands moving to hold onto your hips while you were rendered completely speechless. After taking a second to sort your thoughts out, you returned his gesture, allowing your arms to wrap around his neck, bringing him down a bit closer to you in the process. The kiss was messy and uncoordinated, you were sure that if he had leaned a bit further towards you, it would have ended in him toppling on top of you. All of the nervousness you had felt earlier was gone, replaced by a strong sense of warmth spreading inside your stomach. He liked you back.

“Maybe changing something about our friendship isn’t so bad after all.” You whispered before leaning in a second time, which he graciously accepted.

Taglist:

Grishaverse fics in general: @yesshewrites1 @dal-light

Jesper Fahey: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @writingmysanity @fall-writes

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #grishaverse