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ughthisisntright · 10 months

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Lap of Luxury | Sugar Daddy!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: As a young woman without much income, a joke of a job, and an unfortunately expensive taste, your curiosity one evening leads to a string of events far out of your control.

Warnings: Age gap (reader is 23, Bradley is 40), suggestive themes (no smut), fluff

Word Count: 4,635

“Babe,” your best friend slurred. “You need to get on Seeking Arrangements! These guys- they just buy you stuff! And give you money!”

Another conversation about your not-so-much of an income, splitting a bottle of wine with your best friend, and her insistence on helping you has devolved into this. Discussing a sugar daddy arrangement from a site for older folks. You couldn't imagine a worse way to spend your night.

“Aren't they, like, old?” You ask with a sneer. Your friend just laughs it off.

“And rich!” She squeals. “You’d never have to work another shitty job again! C’mon just try it!” She grabbed your phone from you and fumbled with it to download the app.

“Ugh, what’s your password?” She showed you the screen where the app store was asking. You hesitate before typing it in and allowing her to do the rest.

“Okay first thing’s first,” she places her hand on your knee, mostly to steady herself. “Never use your real name. So you're going to be…”

She starts typing on the phone, probably using her galaxy brain to come up with something truly brilliant. And by brilliant, that means ridiculous.

“Genevieve,” she states finally. You don't hate the name, but it's not yours. You made a mental note to change it when you're sober. “Everything else will be the same. And…”

She starts scrolling through your camera roll. You'd have freaked out but really, there wasn't anything there she hasn't seen already. She taps on a photo of you she took a week ago at a vineyard the two of you had visited (on her dime) and handed your phone back to you,

“Voilà! Welcome yo Seeking Arrangements,” she grinned at you. You looked down at your profile and sighed.

“Now what?” You ask flatly.

“Find someone!”

“How? I don't know how to use this!”

“Ugh, you're so boring sometimes…”

Thus began a hunt for the “perfect man” to fund your broke self’s habits. It was all a drunken blur from there, and you passed out on your couch after about two hours of playing around on the app. You had no idea there were so many men willing to give their money away to young women with no regard. But it was working out in your favor.

You woke up the next day with a pounding hangover, cottonmouth and your phone on 5% battery. Your friend was nowhere to be found - as usual after drinking binges like that. You mentally kicked yourself for allowing it to go this far but, realistically, you didn't care to go into work today anyway.

A quick text to your boss and a shaky walk to your bedroom to plug your phone in preceded your chug-fest in the kitchen. Drinking straight from the tap wasn't fast enough, but it would suffice. You groaned as you finished gorging yourself on your borderline acceptable tap water, went to the cabinet, and pulled out your bottle of painkillers. You popped two extra strength tablets and washed them down with yet another healthy gulp of water.

You walked back to your bedroom and laid in the quiet dark on your bed. Just as you closed your eyes, your phone buzzed. Once, then twice. You pick it up to see you have missed messages from men on that confounded Seeking Arrangements app. You groan and set the phone down again, remembering just how horribly drunk you got last night. Drunk and stupid, it seemed. You hear another buzz and pick up the phone in frustration, unlocking it and then scrolling through the messages and threads you'd started last night.

Genevieve. What a stupid name. You quickly changed it to your name and kept scrolling through. You deleted many of the threads, only stopping on a few men who were even remotely close to your age bracket. All tech startup guys with nothing better to do than wine and dine young women into their panties. Typical.

You’re about to delete the app when you see one face in particular that doesn't piss you off like the rest. You open your conversation from the night before to find it was pleasant, not sexually charged, and genuine. You smile briefly before clicking his profile picture. He’s handsome, too handsome. What’s the catch?

You open his profile to see his age, what he does, and where he is. He’s forty, lives nearby in San Diego, and is an aviator for the Navy. The military thing would have been a turn off if the conversation you’d had didn't look so… refreshing. You scroll to see his net worth - nearly one million. Unheard of among these other men. He must be well-off.

You scroll more and see he’s very close by. A block away. You excitedly - but cautiously - type a message to him.

You: So sorry, I fell asleep. I think it's wild you’re still single at your age. How doesn't that mustache pull women nowadays?

You bite your lip and quickly turn the brightness down on your phone, the blue light making your migraine worse. You see him typing and your heart flutters.

You can't believe this is happening. How did you let your friend talk you into this? Were you crazy? Desperate? Or just lonely? You watched the bubbles on screen appear and disappear as the man on the other side of the screen typed his response to you.

The self-loathing part of your brain told you he was figuring out how to turn you down gently. Tell you you're too young for this, to go find someone your own age, chase your dreams, and whatever other sentiments he could think of. You wanted to hear it, but you also didn't. This was all too much.

Until it wasn't.

Bradley Bradshaw: No worries, sweetheart. I see you're nearby - let me come get you and treat you to brunch. Mimosas?

You stood outside your apartment with your cutest outfit on, though to someone like Bradley, it could be considered… revealing. You didn’t have much, hence the entire reason your friend had convinced you to join that stupid app in the first place. Regardless, you stood waiting for Bradley to come pick you up for your impromptu brunch date.

Could you even call it a date?

Your mind swam as you stared down at the photo of him on the app. He was handsome, yes. You just weren’t sure if this made you one of those gold-digging, shallow women who you were sure were all over this app. He looked as though he’d spent a lifetime laughing, living. The wrinkles you could see that weren’t airbrushed out of this photo seemed deeply set. A good sign that he wasn’t as stuffy as some of the other guys you’d apparently spoken to.

Was this just a giant ass mistake?

What if he was just another one of these guys looking to fuck a younger woman and then give her some hush money? Or even expensive gifts in lieu of hush money? You didn’t want to be the dumb trophy on some older man’s arm. And that was when it hit you - you actually liked Bradley. It was just a small crush, of course, you’d hardly known him. Hardly even spoken to him. But from the little interaction you’d had he seemed like the genuine article.

Before you could psych yourself out any more, you heard the low rumble of a classic car getting closer. You popped your head up to see a bright blue classic Ford Bronco headed your way. Your eyes lit up - having an affinity for classic cars - and you simply prayed that this was Bradley coming to get you.

The car came to a stop right in front of you, and the aforementioned Bradley was looking out the window at you with a grin. He pulled his aviators down the bridge of his nose and looked you in the eyes. A genuine kind of look on his face that had you melting inside.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said kindly. “Are you ready to go?”

You nodded wordlessly and shoved your phone into your small purse. Bradley jumped out of the Bronco and approached you. He was incredibly tall, compared to you, and he didn’t have this dominating presence that you kept thinking he would have. No, he was like a giant teddy bear - someone you could imagine curling up with at the end of the day and getting nothing but hugs and kisses from.

“You’re even more adorable than that picture on the app, you know,” he tilted his head sweetly to one side. Your cheeks flushed a bright red, though you weren’t sure if he would notice.

“I-I’m happy I’ve surpassed expectations,” you croaked. “God, I’m sorry-” He chuckled and shook his head.

“I’m nervous, too, sweetheart,” he admitted kindly. “Let’s get to where we’re going and we can be nervous together.” He took your hand and led you to the passenger side of the Bronco. He opened the door for you and helped you get up into the seat. He waited until you were situated before closing the door and walking coolly to the other side and getting into the driver’s seat.

“I hope you don’t mind. I chose a more secluded spot than I normally would,” Bradley admitted as he pulled away from the curb. “Not because I’m embarrassed, but just because I’d hate to have people I know giving me shit.”

“I completely understand,” you say softly. “I would die if someone I knew saw me doing this… Whatever this is.”

“I’d say we can put off putting a label on it until we’re sure, yeah?” Bradley looked over at you with a smile. “No pressure, no fakery, no stress.”

“I love the sound of that,” you said sweetly, looking at him with a smile.

Soon, you arrived at a small brunch joint on the outskirts of the city. Bradley had assured you he’d never seen his buddies here, and you assured him that your friends are too broke to afford this kind of place. Sharing a laugh, Bradley cuts the engine and gets out of the Bronco. He walks to your side and helps you out before linking your arm with his.

“I’ll treat you right, okay?” He said sweetly as he walked you in. You only smiled in response and allowed him to lead you inside. He gave his last name coolly to the hostess and she ushered the two of you to a more private booth at the back of the restaurant. Bradley pulled your chair out for you and let you sit first. What a gentleman. He took his seat across from you and removed his aviators.

Those eyes were mesmerizing. Beautiful brown that you swore had little flecks of gold in them. You could get lost in those eyes if you weren’t careful, so you quickly picked up the small menu and looked it over. Yikes. You for sure wouldn’t be able to afford this.

“So, I can tell this is not something you usually do,” Bradley said softly. “Me neither, if I’m honest.”

“Honestly? My friend made me do it. We were… Drinking last night. And she convinced me this would be a good idea.” You admitted candidly. “I didn’t know what to expect.

“Hah! Sounds exactly like what my friend did to me,” he admitted right back. “I forgot the app even existed until you messaged me last night. Then, I just got this… feeling. Like, if I let this slip by, I’d regret it the rest of my life.”

“Hence, why we’re sitting here having brunch together,” you finish for him. “I have to admit, Bradley, you don’t seem like the type to go for… younger women. You’re mature, put together, and seem like a zero-bullshit guy.”

“Yeah, well, the Navy sort of beats that into you,” he laughs softly. “Women are usually deterred by the military thing. They automatically think you’re looking to get married, or they think you’re active duty and are going to lose you. So they don’t even bother trying.” He looks up at you. “I’m just trying to find someone to spoil. Someone to care for, and someone to care for me right back.”

You appreciated his honesty. You liked skipping around the nervous chatter, the lies, the embellishments. This was a far cry from some of the dates you’d been on in the past - boys pretending to be men that they’re not. Bradley clearly went through that when he was your age. And he clearly realized it doesn’t work long-term.

“You’re saying all the right things, Bradley,” you chime. “I just want you to know… I’m not after your money or whatever else it is you have to offer me. I’m not sure what I’m after here, but I’d like to explore this. Whatever it ends up being, or not being, I’m interested to see where it goes.”

You’re surprised to hear those words coming from your mouth. An hour ago you were just about ready to call this whole thing off. You were sure this would make you lesser than; lump you in with all the other desperate girls your age just looking to get rich and not work for it. But, honestly, you didn’t care about money - your friend did. If this all worked out, if Bradley ended up being more than just a Seeking Arrangements date, you’d have to thank her for being such a gold digger.

Oh, the misery.

"I do too, sweetheart,” Bradley said sweetly. “No pressure, no fakery, no stress.”

Brunch went exceptionally well. Bradley told you stories from his time in the Naval Academy, TOPGUN, and even a few missions you were pretty sure he wasn’t supposed to share. He told you about his parents and how he followed in his dad’s footsteps. He told you about everything. He was a man who’d lived. You couldn’t grasp, still, how a woman his age wouldn’t want him.

You shared stories from your years in college, your job, and from your childhood. Absolutely nothing compared to the nearly twenty years he had on you. You felt silly telling him about yourself, but he was genuinely interested. He asked so many insightful questions, held your hand, and maintained eye contact. You thought maybe, just maybe, he was falling for you.

You’d be remiss if you didn’t admit you may be falling for him, too.

When the bill came, Bradley snatched it away from you with a mischievous grin. You playfully pouted at him and he just waved you off. He took his wallet out and slid a credit card into the book and held it until the server came back. Clever little devil.

“I told you I’d spoil you, sweetheart,” he mused. “This is me spoiling you. But, I should warn you. This is only the beginning.”

You grinned at him and nodded, relaxing back in your seat. He was just so cool. His entire demeanor, his attitude - devil may care kind of air about him. You enjoyed his youthful aura, especially since you knew he was not quite as youthful as he used to be. It was truly a breath of fresh air.

The bill was paid, you’d successfully drank three mimosas, and Bradley was looking at you with stars in his eyes. He walked you out of the restaurant and to his Bronco. He looked down at you once the two of you were on the passenger’s side. Brushing some hair from your face, he smiled softly and pulled you just a touch closer.

“Well, I’m dying for your review, sweetheart,” he said with a grin. “Did I live up to expectations?”

Your mouth felt dry all of a sudden. Did he? Did he? You’d just spent three hours chatting with a man nearly twice your age about his life, your life, and genuinely enjoying each other's company. And he wants to know if he lived up to expectations? You smiled widely, no longer able to conceal the excitement you felt in your gut about this.

“Very much so. I’d even be so bold as to say you’ve surpassed them,” you took his hand in yours gently. He responded by squeezing your waist a little tighter.

“Then,” he said in a lower tone than he’d used earlier. “You wouldn’t find it uncouth of me to do this?”

Before you could even think of a witty response, his lips were on yours in a gentle, tentative kiss. Your initial shock washed away quickly as your lips pressed back against his. He was gentle, nothing extravagant, nothing lying beneath the surface - just a kiss. His hands slid around your back and upwards, pulling you impossibly closer. Your hands found purchase on his large biceps, squeezing as he drew you nearer.

Like in the movies, you felt an instant spark. Little electrical pulses all over your lips, your cheeks, and wherever he touched you. His hands seemed to be made for you. They seemed to know exactly how to hold you, how to caress you, and how to make you forget all except him and this moment.

And all too quickly, he was pulling away from you. He looked down at you with gentle eyes, a small quirk of his lips. You stared back up at him with your mouth hanging open ever so slightly. He brought his hand up and swept his thumb over your bottom lip. You almost had to squeeze your thighs together to relieve the mild ache that warmed your core.

Bradley let out a soft chuckle and opened the door for you. Like earlier, he helped you into the Bronco and then got in himself. He started the vehicle and started driving away from the restaurant. Your mind swam with the possibilities. He could be your father, but you wanted him. You wanted him to be the man in your life. Just from this one little encounter. You were sure you wanted him.

It really was like the movies.

You noticed eventually that you were nowhere near your apartment, or his. In fact, San Diego wasn’t around you at all. You’d traveled north, and then west. To a small little shopping center away from town. You looked at Bradley curiously and he met your gaze as if on cue.

“I’m not done with you yet, sweetheart,” he said coolly. “I’m taking you to the beach. But you need a bathing suit. And, honestly, so do I.” He grinned at you and pulled into a parking spot. Just great! He was already blowing his money on you. Part of you felt guilty, but the other part of you - the part that was still listening to your friend - wanted to see this all through.

He pulled you into a store that sold probably the most revealing swimsuits for the most outrageous prices. You cringed every time you looked at a price tag even though Bradley had assured you nothing was too expensive. Finally, after looking at a one-piece suit that was anything but “one piece,” you pulled Bradley to you.

“I cannot let you spend this kind of money on such little fabric, Bradley,” you pleaded. He simply smiled down at you and nodded.

“I understand completely,” he looked around at the options and narrowed his eyes. “Let me find something worthwhile then.” He kissed your cheek and walked off to search for a suit for you. Dumbfounded, you stood back and watched for a second. Then, without even thinking, you started looking for one for him to wear. Like some kind of girlfriend would.

You picked up a red pair of trunks, the shorter kind that have come into style recently. You weren’t sure if these would make him look younger or just plain silly. You didn’t really care, though, you wanted him to wear them. You figured this would be a good color on him.

When he eventually found you again, he had his hands behind his back. A shit-eating grin on his face, you’d notice. You held up the trunks you’d chosen for him, a small smile on your face.

“How are these?” You asked sweetly. He nodded in approval and then brought a one piece suit out from behind his back.

Your eyes bugged out of your head when you saw it - bright red, just like the trunks you’d chosen for him.

You let out a genuine laugh and smiled up at him. He pulled you in for a quick kiss before taking the trunks from you and walking to the register to pay. You followed behind him but quickly tucked yourself against his side at the counter. He’d picked up a pair of aviators for you, a couple of towels, and some sunblock. Once he paid, he took your hand and led you out of the shop.

“Let’s change into these before we head out. I wanna get right into it when we get to the beach,” he handed you the swimsuit and gently pushed you in the direction of the bathroom. He went to the men’s room to change, and you changed as instructed.

When you arrived at the beach, you were in awe at how gorgeous the scenery was. Not a person in sight, either. Perfect, you thought. Bradley hauled you to the sand like a little kid and laughed at your protests.

“The water is fine! Come on, let me see that suit I got you.” He pinched your sides and tickled you into submission. You shoved him off of you with a wheezing laugh and tore your clothes off to reveal the swimsuit. His eyes traveled down your body in a very uncharacteristically obvious way.

“Wow, sweetheart,” he grunted. “Red is definitely your color.” He took his t-shirt off and tossed it aside. He was surprisingly muscular for someone his age. It added to his charm, you decided, that he was able to stay in such great shape. “How about me? Red a good color on me? Someone my age?”

“Yeah, actually. Those make you look at least ten years younger,” you teased. He laughed and watched you take off towards the water. He followed behind you and let his feet get wet from the waves.

You, on the other hand, were the young sprite who was going deeper into the water. You let the water lap at your thighs before traveling out a little further. The cool water felt amazing on your skin, even better with the sun beating down on you. You closed your eyes and let the waves rock you from side to side. You surely could get used to this.

You suddenly felt hands on your hips, a firm grip. You jumped slightly before turning around to come face-to-face with Bradley. The sun made his eyes sparkle just as you’d predicted in the restaurant. You looked at the age on his face and sigh softly. It’s not as obvious in the sun. Not something you expected.

“You forgot something,” he said softly. He propped the pair of aviators he bought on your face and gently pushed them up the bridge of your nose. He poked the tip of your nose with a boyish grin. “Perfect.”

“You’re gonna let me get a sunburn, too?” You chide with a poke to his ribs.

“Oh, never,” he said with a scandalized look on his face. “Here, turn back around.” He produced the bottle of sunscreen and smirked.

You turned around without hesitation. You felt his hands all over your back as he spread the sunscreen around your skin. He rubbed up and over your shoulders, kissing them gently when he was finished. He traced your spine on the open back of the swimsuit he bought you. You shivered ever so slightly when his hands brushed your skin so gently. He worked the sunscreen into your neck before gently turning you back around and working it over your collarbone. You saw the hesitation in his eyes when he went to drag his fingers lower, but your lack of protest replaced his hesitation with determination. He massaged the sunscreen into the swell of your breasts slowly. Your breath caught in your throat at the touch. The familiar ache between your legs returning.

He moved on to your arms and the tops of your ears. He then put a silly little stripe of it on the bridge of your nose, making you giggle. You took the bottle from him and repeated the gesture on him. He grinned proudly and pulled you close again. His lips crashed onto yours in a hungry kiss, more intimate than the last.

You knew then that you could get used to this.

You grinned widely and charged at Bradley, jumping into his arms. He laughed and caught you with ease, spinning you around as you wrapped your legs around him. He playfully tipped you backwards so your hair brushed the water. Your squeal of excitement rang out clear as day, making him smile brighter than you’d seen.

He pulled you back up and you buried your face in his neck. His skin was slick with sweat and sunscreen, and he smelled still like the subtle cologne he wore. He held you securely against him, never daring to drop you.

You pulled your head back and kissed him again. It came easier now, kissing him. It was more exciting, less anxiety-inducing. You liked the way the walls had been dropped and the affections came easier. He gladly kissed you back, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth. A soft, more needy than intended whimper left your lips at that.

Instead of scaring him away, it only spurred Bradley on. His hands cupped your rear possessively and he carried you back to shore. And you knew where it would go from there.

He set you down on one of the towels and crawled over you. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he explored your skin with his mouth. Your hands slid up and into his hair, whining softly as he ravaged you with that perfect, experienced mouth.

“I need you to know, sweetheart,” he grunted. “This isn’t a one-off.” You tilted your head, sweat on your brow.

“I’m going to take you out, bring you home, make you mine,” he explained further. “I’m not ready to let you go yet. I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay,” you breathed. “I’m not ready to let you go yet either.”

“Good,” he said before kissing down your stomach, dangerously close to your aching cunt. “Because I don’t want to go too fast.” He kissed back up your stomach and to your lips.

A pitiful little moan left your lips in protest. He chuckled softly and looked down at you.

“We have time,” he said simply. You wrapped your arms around him and laughed softly. His lips connected with your collarbone before he lifted you back up.

“Let’s order something and eat dinner here. Sound good?” He suggested. You nodded with a grin, kissing his cheek. As he was busy ordering something for dinner, you looked down at your phone for the first time since that morning. You opened it up and looked at your conversation with Bradley on the app. You bit your lip and closed the app. Then you took a leap.

You deleted the app.

Bradley was the only one you cared about among the list of men you’d chatted with. And in a stupidly short amount of time, you started picturing yourself with this man. This real man. He turned to you and smiled as he spoke on the phone with the place he was ordering from. The look on his face when he looked at you was enough. This, eating dinner on a secluded beach, was enough.

Tagging people who may enjoy: @roosterscock @cherrycola27 @roosterforme @roosterbruiser @beardedladyqueen @seresinsweetie @sebsxphia

#rooster brain rot goes brrrrr #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x y/n #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #rooster imagine #rooster x reader #rooster fanfic #rooster top gun #rooster bradshaw #top gun rooster #top gun maverick #sugar daddy bradley #sugar daddy rooster

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bakubunny · 4 months

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I gotta say, Angel, you impressed me this week.

There were a few times you were with me that ya coulda tapped out, an' instead ya finished the trek through the woods like a big girl. With how Kirishima was goin' at ya with that remote vibe I'm surprised you could stumble back inside the cabin. S'been nice seeing ya collapse all weak-kneed on the couch. Even nicer seein' yer eyes roll back takin' Red's bad dragon toys again.

Are ya wonderin' what it's been for? We set up a very special game tonight for our princess. I wouldn't surprised if ya already figured it out. Why Kirishima and I head up to this cabin every January. Why we don't usually have ya come up with us. See, Kirishima and I love ya a little too fiercely, an' it wouldn't be right to show you just how much without a little preparation. Ya did so well this week takin' what we dished out, I have no doubt you'll be able ta take our knots now.

Tonight's the Full Moon, cottontail, and you'll be getting' the chase of yer life. Once the moon is high, ya get a 20 minute head start. Since Red insisted we make it “fair” you've spent a week gettin' to know the trails you'll be runnin'. With the moon being so bright for ya and a week's worth of scent around to throw us off, I wonder how long it'll take us to track down your slick thighs.

I'm bettin' I'll find ya first. If'm lucky I'll have ya trembling 'round my knot before Kirishima catches up. He looks good when he pouts, an' that's what he'll do when I'm carryin' ya back to the cabin with yer legs still wrapped 'round me. M'not mean though, I've learned t'share- but you're takin' my pups first, an' I intend to win the chase tonight t'make sure of it. Truth is, breedin' ya wasn't our first thought. We planned to ease ya into this side of our life, but then you made the decision for us, Bunny. What did you think was gonna happen when ya start ovulatin' during the Wolf Moon? -Kats

hi kats ໒꒰ྀི ∩ ⸝⸝ ∩ ꒱ྀིა

it - it’s been really nice to spend so much time with you and eiji. i’m glad you brought me with you this time.

but you got me all nervous about this lil game now. i’m not scared though, i promise! gonna try my best to do a good job n stuff, see if i can trick you. 🙈

and gosh that sounds nice. 😅 you know i’d be happy to be the best girl and do that for either of you no matter who was first. but i know how competitive you can get.

i dunno what i thought, but i didn’t expect to be bred 😵‍💫 all of this i suppose. it gonna be a big night for us tonight, and i can’t wait to be snuggled up between my two favorite heroes once it’s all over.

bunny ♡

#nonnie i am SCREECHING #you targeted this so specifically #how am i supposed to respond #i don’t know where to start #SOMEONE has been paying very close attention to what i post 😰#the praise? the bd toys? the - 😵‍💫#the werewolves or the knotting? the breeding? just being carried back in his arms like it’s NORMAL?#and don’t even get me started on the pet names you know how i feel about that #how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions #werewolf krbk is gonna have me weak for an indefinite period of time #katsuki anon #bnha rp #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #tw monsterfucking

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atxxzist · 2 years

Text

broken | c.s (01)

next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 6.3k

warning: allusion to neglect, abuse, expect some heavy stuff

there's only been a couple, rare instances where your aunt helped you with a genuine smile on her face; cooing a tune under her breath and packing your belongings with no complaints.

of course all of them relating to a time where you had to leave, whether just for a few days, or maybe now permanently.

you know she won't take you back after you walk out the door.

a part of you truly wanted to despise her, for all the snarky comments through the years, and that uncomfortable, embarrassed, look on her face whenever she'd get asked if you were her child.

a woman of her age holding a grudge against a teenage girl unheard of.

but ever since your mom dumped you on her doorstep, you know you've made her life hell since.

that although she's overbearing and would probably throw you to the wolves first chance she gets, you'd have no roof over your head and no food in your stomach if it wasn't for her.

because if your uncle wasn't out sitting on the porch with a cigarette in between his fingers or downing his fifth soju bottle by noon, he was in bed taking one of the many naps of the day.

she's had a hard life, and you've only made it worse.

so maybe after all, all you can do for her, is leave. one less mouth to feed and one less problem to worry about. she probably has been waiting for the day you become of age anyways.

the goodbye is straight to the point; no crying or weeping tears of sorrow. nothing alike any departures that you see in movies. but it's over with. a new life, new people, and a new city you go.

mingi's dad is the one to drive you guys. if there has been anyone in your life remotely close to a father figure, it would be him.

he was the one who always paid when you were too out of pocket to really do anything with mingi. paid for the school festivals, for your uniforms when it was getting dirty, and when he found out you were going to be spending the new year alone, he gladly swooped you in for a trip with them.

a lot came with mingi, after he found you under that oak tree in your freshman year of high school, lost and alone. all of them a blessing.

"how do you guys think seoul people are gonna act like? are all the rumors true?" yunho speaks from beside you; he's another blessing that came with the package.

shortly after forming somewhat of a friendship with mingi, which solely consisted of him pestering you and sticking his nose where it didn't belong, he introduced you to yunho, his best friend.

and what were the odds that the only kid who actually bothered with you, would be your next door neighbor as well.

it was then that you met his parents and it very much explained where mingi got his mannerism from. though he has his moments.

"yeah. are they as stuck-up as everybody say? do they drink until morning--"

''--mingi, almost everyone drinks until morning. even back in that old town of ours," mr. song cuts.

mingi spares his father one glance and scoffs.

"yeah tell me about it, father. tell me how you grew that big belly of yours that is two months past due."

you and yunho chuckle quietly in the backseats, accustomed to their father-son banters.

mr. song hisses under his breath and snaps a quick headlock at mingi before moving his eyes back to the road.

"if i wasn't driving, i'd slap that mouth of yours," he says, "why can't you be more like yunho?"

"what!?" mingi voices in disbelief. "he was the one who started it!"

"oh..." he continues, "i know what this is about. it's cause i'm gay and you want a daughter-in-law after seeing minji and yunho."

both you and yunho roll your eyes at the boy's dramatic act.

it was something mingi had told you only a couple weeks after you got to know him. it's still mind-boggling how fast he trusted you, but he said he just did. something about you.

and a year later, he confessed to his parents. afraid at first of course, who wouldn't be. only to get a slap on the head by mr. song, not because he was gay, but because he had snuck out with you after mr. song specifically told him to watch the stove.

safe to say, he almost burned their house down that day. but the constant stealing of mrs. song's makeups and the hidden collection of boy band posters under mingi's bed kind of gave it away.

"yeah, sure," mr. song replies with a dry sarcasm. mingi rolls his eyes.

"anyways! about the dorms, i'm excited!" he diverts.

"i don't know..." you mumble.

you had wanted a lone room to yourself--those were an option. but neither you, nor mingi and yunho knew very much about the process. everything is new to you all. so by the time you guys had signed up, there were only leftovers.

meaning you're going to have a roommate; possibly one that's gonna have to put up with you for the next four years.

you don't know how to feel about that. especially a stranger.

so while mingi and yunho are esctastic about the mystery of their new roommates, which you're sure they won't have a problem becoming best buds with within a week span, you on the other hand, is dreading it.

"come on, y/n. it'll be fun," mingi attempts to lighten from the front.

yunho nods along. "yeah. and maybe even if your roommate turns out to be a major buzzkill, think about everything else. you're in a new city now. it's a fresh start."

"right," mingi agrees, "you need it, y/n. after everything you've been through. this is going to be great, i already have a feeling."

and for once, mr. song is onboard with his son. you see a smile on him from the rearview mirror.

"you're going to have a good time, sweetheart."

"i can't wait to see who's the hunk that i'm gonna be sharing a room with," mingi suddenly says, like his father isn't just right next to him.

mr. song shoots him a glare and mingi clears his throat, drawing back.

"i mean--"

you and yunho erupt into a fit of laughters.

you're definitely in seoul's air. the hustle and bustle, chitters around every corner that you pass--much louder than the old, quiet town, and the many tall buildings overlooking the city.

after bidding farewell to mr. song, with mingi stubbornly and smugly swearing on his life he's so glad to finally be away from his parents' domineering ways, only to break down and refuse to let his father get back into the car, you made it.

some rather confusing conversation with the lady at the front desk, but somehow you manage to convince her into giving you the key to the room.

mingi and yunho are off to their own before you even make it past the elevator. some friends they are.

"43-d 43-d...." you mumble to yourself repeatedly, just in case you happen to miss said room, staring at each number plastered on the wall so passively strolling by.

"43-d!"

you stop in front of a door quite secluded and far from the main hall, taking in the big '43-d' stickered to the side, before dingling the key in your hold.

you wonder if your roommate had already made it in. wonder if she's sitting at the edge of the bed and intently peering at the door because she's equally as curious.

if she's gonna be the best thing for the next four years, or the worst nightmare all in one.

a small creak is heard at the opening of the door, and the view in front of you; a squared-room as small as you imagined. a window right in the middle separating two single beds and a girl with long, flowy hair sitting on the one at the right, her back facing you.

she turns to the source of noise and her face just as pretty as the rest of her body. she gets off to stand on her feet.

"oh my gosh! are you my roommate!" she beeline towards you. you nod at the question.

"i'm yuna!" she holds out one of her hand, a smile on her face suiting for a girl of her class. you wouldn't know exactly, but judging by her outfit, it probably cost a pretty penny.

"i'm y/n," you answer, almost whisper-like, shaking her hand in return.

now that she's standing, you realize how much shorter she is in comparison to you. a couple inches at least.

"i was afraid my roommate was gonna be a creep. but you look anything but that!" she chuckles; another thing so pretty about her.

"thanks?" you respond, a small smile gracing your lips at such thing.

"so y/n..." she says, reaching behind to shut the door, then proceeding to drag your wrist; the rolling of your suitcase grating to the ear. "what's your major?"

she goes back to sitting at the bed, but her stance facing you and hands in her lap. you stand there overlooking her, unsure where to place your hands or how to bend your legs.

"oh, uhm... information technology."

you weren't really sure initially, but from the years of beating both mingi and yunho at whatever games you got your hands on, and the constant troubleshooting of mingi's hardware issues, they figured you're kind of tech-savvy and highly encouraged you to consider the field.

all of your childhood being spent with some kind of distractions since your parents were too busy being elsewhere or really there for you, paid off in some ways.

"cool!" she beams, before tilting her head slightly, "so... what is that?"

you giggle, not a stranger to such question. you learned pretty early on that not many people care about the government term.

"just computers."

"ah!" she nods at it all coming together.

"and you?" you're surprise that came out, but she sounds easy-going enough.

"art!" she proclaims, the way she said it tells you it's something she takes pride in. "i was just about to hang these up!"

it's then that you notice the many pieces of artworks laying on the bed she's sitting on, all framed and to go.

the one in her hand right now of a pink lotus flower perfectly painted and almost quite even realistically. all the strokes of it are gentle and pastel, you can tell the efforts put into it.

"it's beautiful," you compliment her with a smile.

the first two weeks goes by awfully fast.

your classes and professors are alright, and your roommate is someone who you can actually see yourself becoming decent friends with, because you don't exactly plan on living the next couple of years in lingering awkwardness and dreaded silence.

but while her half of the room is padded with decorations, like someone actually lives there, your half just looks sad.

you didn't exactly have much to bring. neither mingi nor yunho brought a lot either. just a few necessities and clothes; everything else buyable with the change you carried.

problem is, you don't have a lot. just a couple bucks you were able to save through the years and some from mr. song that he so kindheartedly gave you.

so there weren't a lot of options for decoration. but at least for now, you have a pillow to sleep on and a blanket to counter the cold.

you need to start job hunting.

aside from that, you spend your days in the comfort of mingi or yunho, or both, sitting in the library and listening to their narrations of how their week or day went. who they met today and how great everything is already going.

well, that's mostly mingi.

yunho just sulks about how much he misses minji, his girlfriend. she had decided to stay back in the old town and attend university there. the program for her major was better, she said.

the names definitely tripped you at first. it also didn't help that the two were constantly at each other's throat and cursing one's parents name for the similarity. but you get used to it.

mingi's met a lot of people. a lot. but none of them he talks about as much as jung wooyoung, who also happens to be his dormmate.

the name at first hitting you with familiarity. you've definitely heard about him, from passings and whatnot. from mouths of other students.

his parents are rich rich, and although he's just a freshman like you guys, with only two weeks into the semester, he's already throwing the most lavish parties that will be the talk of the town for at least an entire year.

mingi said he didn't have to be in a dorm, he wanted to be in one. someone like jung wooyoung, barely of age, can already buy his own house right next to campus if he so desired, but you know this is probably all fun and games to him, to try to live the life of a struggling college student with restrictions.

so what are the chances that jung wooyoung, probably by far the most popular freshman, is mingi's companion. some odd strings of fate that is.

but it's mostly pathetic when they'd ask about you. how your day and week went or if you have gotten yourself into a sorority yet. you already told them about yuna, and that was mostly it.

if there is even anything remotely close to interesting from your college experience so far, it would probably be kang yeosang.

not that you would tell mingi and yunho about him, though. especially not in a place so public and exposed where words can easily get around. because if you're to say something about your encounter with kang yeosang, it's definitely not anything nice.

"intro to computers, room... ah!"

you finally found the room, after only mindlessly wandering around for thirty minutes or so, but you did it.

you're at least five minutes late. not a good look to the first day of class, but there's a plethora of worse outcomes.

when you walk in, your heels nearly dig into the flooring and a nervous speck flashes across your eyes, overlooking the population of students and seeing that it's a fucking sausage fest.

damn you for having picked a male-dominated field.

they watch you trail to a seat like you're the first sighting of a rare creature, which makes it all more nerve wracking that you can barely grasp where you're going.

just that you took a seat in an empty chair, as long as everyone stop staring at you.

then, you hear someone clearing their throat all of a sudden. you turn to the source but his eyes are gone. only his shiney, blonde hair in your view as whoever it belongs to, begins scribbling down something, but never returning your gaze.

it's only until the next day during attendence that you learn the mysterious boy's name.

kang yeosang.

you also learn within the next few sessions that he's an exceptionally gifted student, his skills in the course makes your amateur basic knowledge of computers pale in comparison.

you respect him. your professor likes him. and other students know he's in a league of his own.

he's even pretty. like the man jumped straight out of a manhwa cover. nose perfectly sculpted, features full of innocence yet deadly at the same time. and the hair color that brings an extra glow to his skin.

you feel nervous just sitting next to him, even. someone of this caliber should be starring in tv dramas or attending some prestigious university. what the hell is he doing sitting next to you in some intro class that he can probably pass with closed eyes.

that is until you actually speak to him. and all respect, any small amount of admiration you had for him, goes out the door.

because this dude is entitled and stuck-up as hell.

he's always had this aura around him that he's better than everyone else in the class; speaking very little and barely acknowleding anyone. but you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

you're working on a simulation assignment, stuck on a step you cannot get past although you already double checked everything. a quick glance to the front shows your professor already occupied with assisting other students, so you bite the bullet.

you don't do it very often, you're not good with new people. but there's no other way.

seeing as yeosang is already done with his, maybe he can help you out on just this very teeny step; a favor.

but he nearly snide; click his tongue and puffs out an air of annoyance like you're a mere inconvenience when you just muttered a small "hey..." with the lightest tap on his arm.

he looks over your screen momentarily and has the most irritated expression you've ever seen on anyone.

then a scoff departs from him. mockingly.

"if you're already struggling with something as simple as this, maybe you should reconsider your choice of major, princess."

and your jaw drops.

so uncalled for, and all over something so miniscule. the nickname and his tone lets you know of the blatant sexism since you're the only girl in a class full of men.

his attitude reminds you of someone. someone you've since learned to forget. leave behind.

and from that day on, you told yourself: kang yeosang can go choke on a stick.

"it's gonna be fun!" mingi slaps your back.

god knows how the hell he actually managed to convince you to come to one of jung wooyoung's magnificent party. your first ever college party. but he had gotten an invitation from the man himself.

not even a week after talking about them, and you're already here to testify it for yourself, if they truly are as great as people say they are.

you had asked yuna if she wanted to come along, just because she's the only other person besides mingi and yunho that you know, but she had plans with her parents tonight.

yunho is running late and had given the okay for you guys to go first. said he'll show later with his roommate, who he has been hushed about except for a few small comments that they get along well.

"i think i might throw up," you say, turning to mingi with a frown.

the house isn't as big as you had thought; quite mid-size actually and very modern, which leads you to believe that jung wooyoung does in fact, have a house off-campus as well.

"no no," mingi coos, rushing to your side immediately, arms thrown around your shoulders.

"you're going to be okay. i'm gonna be right next to you all night. i promise." he smiles. "now let's go in."

the music is blaring loud, strobes of flashy lights; all pink, green, and blue, lasering through your eyes and there's drunken bodies everywhere as mingi drags you through the front and into the house.

the space is so tight with everyone busting ass on the dance floor and you attempting to dodge so you won't get hit, you're literally holding your breath in hope you won't lose mingi, or the other way around.

he finally stops near a corner with less traffic, a couch to the right and he lets go of your hand.

"hey!" you hear a voice; a new one.

you watch as a smaller, much shorter man than mingi with parted black hair and a red solo cup in his hold, goes to handshake him.

you're guessing that's wooyoung.

"you made it!" he screech excitedly. you just realize how high he can actually go.

"i did!" mingi replies back with the same enthusiam. "and it looks awesome, man."

these two are literally made for each other, you think.

"thank you thank you," he accepts the compliment with a cheeky smile.

"ah! this is my friend i was telling you about!" mingi all of sudden pulls you into the spotlight, only for you to cower in immediately with a flustered reaction.

wooyoung chuckles.

"she's a shy one, i see."

mingi chuckles back.

"you have no idea."

wooyoung straightens his posture, eyes boring into yours and holding his hand out.

"wooyoung." he smiles.

you slowly and hesitantly reach out your own to meet his, uttering in the quietest volume known to men, "y-y/n."

when he kisses the top of your hand, you almost jump just from the cultural shock, but is able to contain yourself in just the same 'ole flustered face.

"nice to meet you."

he breaks apart the contact, and so do you. resting your hand back at the side.

"if you need anything, or have any questions, just let me know, y/n. happy to help."

you only nod in return, averting your gaze to mingi for him to say something because the nonexistent social butterfly in you is dying out.

"oh, yes!" he says out of nowhere.

you're now seated on the couch, watching the abundance of people grind against one another on the dance floor, and then moving your attention back to mingi and wooyoung still at the same spot chatting away like they have all the time in the world.

mingi had gotten you a drink just so you'll have something to do. just so he'll feel less guilty about having dragged you up in here and is now throwing you off to the side.

nothing alcoholic. just punch.

you take another sip of your drink, the cup just out of your vision and boom--mingi and wooyoung now gone. just like that.

so much for "i'm gonna be right next to you all night." your freaking ass.

a small surge of panic rushes at the comprehension of no mingi in sight and a bunch of strangers around you, stuck on someone's couch.

you pull your phone out to text yunho.

y/n: are you at the party yet? mingi just left me. i don't know anyone here ☹️

yunho: yeah i arrived a little while ago. where are you?

y/n: i don't know. inside the house, on the couch?

yunho: i'm coming

you breathe a sigh of relief, hoping yunho will be able to sweep you away soon, but proceeding to leave a message for mingi as well, just if he answers.

everything's already beginning to close in like walls and making you majorly uncomfortable.

but then five minutes passes, then ten, then fifteen, and yunho is still nowhere to be seen and mingi hasn't replied either.

y/n: are you coming?! 😭

yunho: some dickhead is out here causing a ruckus and blocking the entrance inside the house. stay put, or maybe go out to the back and see if mingi's there?

you scowl. just great. one glance to the left confirms the commotion, so you get up and shove your phone into your pocket, carrying the cup in your hand that still has a decent amount left, and going on a search for your wonderful best friend.

it doesn't seem as packed back here as it is up front, but still requiring for you to muster up some strength to be able to push past some sweaty bodies and out into wooyoung's backyard.

but it becomes a grave mistake, because if the front is bad, this is just heinous.

music from all corners of the yard, a big heated pool right in the middle and a bunch of almost-naked people in their swimsuits splashing in and out. you don't know how you're going to even make it to the other side to find mingi.

but all it takes is another once-over of the current situation for you to conclude that you'll probably have better luck of yunho finding you.

you spin around to head back inside, until a voice, almost like nails on chalkboard at this point, comes into the picture.

"i didn't think i'd see you here," yeosang mumbles, just standing slightly off to the side, hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face.

your eyebrows furrow into madness because instead of running to anyone else, it just has to be him.

didn't think he'd see you here? why? because you look like a total bookworm who'd rather stay in her room than be out at a party? it might be true, but his generalizing ass is annoying you.

you don't give him any sort of reply that might feed into that sick ego of his. only roll your eyes dramatically and continue on your feet, trying the best to get inside once again.

but it seems like the crowd only multiplies by the minutes, more and more people coming and you getting lost in the herd.

"excuse me," you grit through your teeth, not at all giving up.

but with shoulders grazing, body parts touching, and reeks of alcohol that definitely isn't you, one lift of an arm from anywhere and the drink in your hold will be gone.

which is exactly what happens. your cup flies out of your hand to whoever's hard chest you just came in contact with. it drops and rolls onto the ground, stepped on by passersby and crushed to the sinking cement.

though not before whatever was still left in there spilled itself onto this stranger that was coming from inside while you were countering from the opposite direction.

"i'm so sorry!" you say apologetically, the sight of his drenched black shirt already embarrassing as it is.

but one push from the back and a grunt leaving your mouth, you trip and fall right forward--which would have been detrimental have an arm not wrap themself around your waist to keep balance.

your palms now on this stranger's hard chest and you're thinking to yourself: it can't be any worse than this. wetting this stranger and now he has to keep you from falling, too.

but when you finally look up to meet his gaze, it gets much worse when you see just about the most attractive person right in front of you.

his sharp eyes returning your starstruck ones and a coy smirk on his lips from having you in such a position.

you think you're about to pass out.

"you okay?" he asks, and it plucks one of your heartstrings, how mellow and soft his voice is. nothing alike his intimidating appearance.

you nod, and only just registers you're still leaning on his chest like an idiot when a small chuckle leaves him. his arm already untangled itself.

"sorry..." you whisper lowly, standing back on your toes and he smiles. you catch the indentations on his cheeks that are made of dimples and oh my gosh. this is the guy you just made the worst first impression on.

"hey, it's okay," he assures.

you observe him peeking his head out, checking either sides before swooping your wrist so fast, you almost gasp.

he turns back around and leads you inside the house. the process is much quicker, considering he's taller, stronger, and able to squeeze his way through without all the pitiful pleadings.

you're not sure where he's going, but he seems to know his way around just fine.

but such a handsome stranger gripping onto you so tightly does do a little something to your heart.

you take the time to admire him from the back and you notice he has some broad shoulders. manly, sexy, broad shoulders.

"let's get you cleaned up."

his melodic voice snaps you out, seeing that he brought you to the kitchen, right next to the sink.

it's surprisingly peaceful in here. the muffled music still audible from an earshot, but nothing barbaric like it was before.

maybe this handsome stranger is a regular at wooyoung's parties.

he starts ripping the paper towels from the holder and you can only stare in amazement at how he manages to make such a simple task look so... captivating.

he hands you a bunch of them and it takes a hot second for your words to unclog itself from your throat.

"oh no. only a little bit got on me, and some on my shoes, i think," you refuse the gesture.

he giggles silently and switches his gaze to your sneakers.

"cute shoes." he smiles, and it also just sinks in right now how unreal the lighting from the kitchen makes him look.

you feel your cheeks heating up. hopefully he doesn't notice.

"thanks..." your eyelashes flutters once, and a faint smirk crawls onto him from the image.

"you don't go to parties often, huh?" he says, dabbing his shirt lightly with the paper towels.

was it the way you looked? that excruciating expression on you that tells him you've never been to a single party in your life, or maybe the clueless, dim-witted act in such a setting that speaks volume.

"not at all actually. i was looking for my friend."

"oh!" he perks up, some kind of interest sparking. "i might be able to help if you tell me who she is, or maybe he?"

"well, i'm sure you know jung wooyoung."

a smile so handsome cracks on him at the name drop.

"i know jung wooyoung. he's your friend?" but something about the way he said it feels like he knew more about wooyoung than just know.

you shake your head.

"my friend went off with him. mingi. song mingi."

he squints his eyes.

"name's not ringing any bell. but shouldn't be too hard locating wooyoung. he's usually upstairs entertaining the guests or down by the pool hosting some games. i'm guessing you already checked outside?"

"i was out there, but... there were too many people. that's why i was coming back."

he nods and settles on a gentle smile.

"we can check upstairs then, you okay with that?"

you nod and wait for him to finish, keeping quiet as he throws the used towels to the trashcan. but you can still spot some wrinkles on his shirt where it has been untouched.

"you're not going to clean all of it?" you ask so genuinely, innocently, he thinks you're already too endearing.

he releases a chuckle and shake his head.

"you get used to drinks spilling on you the more you attend these events. might not be the last one of the night, you never know."

"oh..." all you say, a little embarrassed from the remembrance of your doing, but he finds the pink blush decorating your cheeks incredibly cute.

he smirks, only to replace it with a smile shortly after.

"let's go find your friend."

you nod and follow behind him. almost wishing he'll reach around to pull you along with those veiny arms as he guides you just like he did before.

baby steps, y/n. baby steps.

but you guys aren't even out of the kitchen yet, when something goes off in the pocket of his pants.

he stops instantly and you could've knocked right into his back, but manages to keep a safe distance.

you only observe with wide-eyes as he pulls his phone out, the screen reflecting on his perfect face and something about him changes that second.

a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips that lasts longer than the one he gave you before, shooting a quick glance your way, moving back to the screen and thrusting the device back.

he turns around and you await in your stance.

"unfortunately, i won't be able to. something came up. think you'll be able to navigate your way around? turn right after you exit and the stairs should be there. wooyoung is usually in one of the rooms upstairs."

it's a bit disheartening but this stranger has already done so much for you, especially given the starting circumstances. and you couldn't ask for more.

"i should be able to," you tell him.

"perfect." he shuts his lips into a smile. "and if you don't mind me asking, may i know your name?" a more cheekier one arises.

"y/n..."

"y/n. i'm gonna remember that. well, then i'll see you around on campus. you go to the one across the street, right?"

you nod. "same one as wooyoung, yeah."

"awesome! see you then, y/n."

a part of you conflicted, wondering if you should ask for his name, too. you would want to know the name of such a kind, handsome stranger that helped you.

but you open your mouth to say something, and he's already gone. ponder about the possibility of ever really seeing him again, and acknowledge the two or three butterflies in your stomach.

you just might have developed the tiniest crush on someone you barely knew and have barely spoken with for under an hour.

a defeated sigh leaves you, eyes moving back to the kitchen exit and meeting yunho's surprised ones.

"y/n!"

when mingi suspiciously brings up you not being upset, or at least not upset enough that he ditched you, you tell him that it's fine. it happens. college party shit.

you won't really tell him that because he's an awful, promise-breaking friend, it eventually lead you right into the chest of a cute, handsome, dimpled stranger. literally.

and you also won't tell him that you're still thinking of this stranger; so much that you didn't even realize you had carelessly accepted an invitation out to dinner until he comes knocking at your door.

"how do you accidentally say yes to an invitation? i gave you a whole ass speech about it, girl. and you were nodding with hums and 'uh-huh'." he rolls his eyes.

"you talked a lot, mingi! i clocked out halfway." you shrug.

"you're a shit ass friend. just awful."

you scoff and lightly push him by the shoulder.

"you literally dipped on me for some dick, what are you talking about."

"okay, first of all, wooyoung is as straight as a ruler, believe it or not. and second of all, what happened to it's fine."

you blow a raspberry.

"so that's why he invited you out to dinner? you guys are friends now? and people can change their mind."

"more than friends," mingi corrects with a smile. "best friends now."

you roll your eyes and shake the statement off.

yunho's room is just a floor above mingi's, already able to spot the room number he gave you guys from where you're standing.

"oh shit," mingi suddenly voice out.

"what?"

"i forgot my phone."

he checks the pockets of his jacket, then patting down his pants, and... nothing.

"you go first. go wait in the lobby if i'm still not back yet by the time yunho's ready."

"fine."

he walks off, and then there was one.

lately, luck seems to be working against you, doing the most to make sure you're excluded from your friends. that includes being in the same dorm building.

you knock the door just twice, afraid of coming off annoying.

yunho also have a roommate, you have to keep in mind. mingi had mentioned his roommate will be dining with you guys.

you're about to knock again, when it flashes open with a squeak of the frame and your jaw drops at the person standing before you, having to nearly rub at your eyes just to make sure this isn't some sick joke.

"what the hell are you doing here?" you spit so bitterly.

yeosang grimace, before letting loose an irksome laughter.

"this is my room."

and that's when it hits you that...

"hey y/n!" yunho speaks from behind, fixing at his shirt. "about almost ready."

well hallefuckinglujah. might as well run you into the ground at this point. and when a smirk dashes across yeosang's lips, you can picture how red your knuckles are from all the clenching.

you're greatly disappointed in yunho, and in mingi.

okay, maybe they didn't know you knew kang yeosang and your rather unpleasant experiences with him since you didn't tell them, but it does make you question how they're able to stand someone like him. especially yunho.

someone so... egocentric and self-absorbed, when yunho is anything but that.

makes you want to shudder even more thinking back to him talking so kindly about his roommate that he gets along with so well.

even right now as yeosang's sitting across from you with that stupid smirk still on, it makes you want to lounge forward and wipe it off his equally stupid face.

"my treat, guys! eat to your heart's content," wooyoung announces. he's in the seat next to yeosang and even he, already likes him, too.

"don't have to tell me twice," mingi replies, flipping through the menu.

"oh, right," yunho snaps up. "about this friend of yours, he coming?"

wooyoung had talked about inviting another friend along, but he's running late. very late.

"he should be on his way, yes."

you're listening to wooyoung when you suddenly feel a soft kick to your ankle, almost giving it away by your reaction.

you move your focus from wooyoung to yeosang and see that he's trying to hide an amused smile.

two can play at a game.

so you kick him back, with actual force and gratification when his face twists in pain.

you're too busy playing footsie with yeosang and lasering each other deathly glares, that you miss the opening of the restaurant's door, and even wooyoung standing up.

"ayyy, he's here! my best bud, my partner in crime!"

only at wooyoung's louder voice, do you turn to the new arrival and immediately, heart eyes overcome your vision when you realize who it is.

and when he locks gaze with you, his mouth draws into a smile; those cute, cute dimples showing. and he's so, so handsome.

"my man, choi san!"

next // series m.list

taglist: @sorryimananti-romantic @revehosh @cookiechristie @avantalem @atiny68 @belletiny @shibera @mochibabycakes @justineasian

#san x reader #san smut #ateez series #choi san x reader #san angst #ateez angst #fic: broken

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grape-icing · 5 days

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hi!! could you write a short story thingy between cg! roxy and regressor! dave? platonic ofc!!! i think roxy would act as a mother figure to dave!!! maybe dave comes over to roxys for a playdate for the first time, and he’s a little nervous to be so vulnerable around someone for the first time!! idk, you can take whatever creative liberty you want with it!! :)) thank you!!

HAIIII IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!!! IVE HAD TESTING ALL WEEK AND I HAD NO IDEAS!!! SORRY IN ADVANCE IF ITS BAD!!! I'll also post this on ao3 :33333

Actual story!!

Dave was pretty nervous about John's doctor's appointment because he knew John would call a babysitter. Which was fine he supposed due to the fact he already told everyone about his regression but he hadn't been watched by anyone else before. Bluh!!! Even the thought of it made him anxious. Dave curled up next to John, filled with worry.

“Something worry bud?” John questioned the sudden movement of the younger boy.

“Uh no” Dave replied which was a lie because he didn't want John to get worried and potentially miss his appointment. Although now that Dave thought about it….

Well never mind, the mystery babysitter was here. Dave really hoped it wasn't someone in his family.

“Oh! That must be her.” John got up and raced towards the door.

“Hiya Roxy!” Dave was doomed, why did it have to be his mom? Sister? thing of all people, well at least it's not Dirk.

“Ok, so he knows where everything is and stuff. Uh, am I missing anything? Oh, his favorite juice is in the fridge. Shoot I'm already late! Okay got to go, bye Dave I love ya!” John quickly left.

“Hai Davey!” Roxy announced. Dave turned away.

“Oh um okay. Do you want to watch a movie or play or….uhm…do something?” Roxy questioned, trying to get him to do anything.

“No,” Dave said quick and bluntly.

“You don't wanna do…anything like at all? Not even a movie?” Roxy walked over and sat right beside him.

“I- uhm sure, I guess,” Dave replied not trying to hurt his mother's feelings. Dave didn't actually know if Roxy considered herself his mother but she didn't mind being called “Mom” so maybe.

“Good!! So whatcha wanna watch honey?” Roxy reached over to grab the remote.

“Uhm I'm not sure, maybe Octonauts? You can pick if you want though.” Dave said in a softer voice than earlier.

“Nah, Octonauts work!” Roxy quickly put the show on and wrapped an arm around Dave, which he wiggled and squirmed his way out of.

After around 20 minutes Roxy suggested they go outside and get some fresh air which Dave very nervously said yes to.

“Need any help getting your shoes on, baby?” Roxy asked while bending down to him.

“no” Dave stated. Roxy saw right through the lie and helped him tie his shoes.

“Uh m-mom,” Dave muttered.

“Hm? What is it pumpkin?” Roxy questioned as she finished trying the younger one's shoes.

“Nothing much. I was just wondering if it was hot outside.” Dave asked while standing up.

“Oh yeah, it's going to be very hot, perfect for playing!” Roxy said cheerfully while grabbing her purse to leave.

“Oh” whined Dave.

“Is something wrong muffin?” Roxy asked due to the tone of his voice. “If you don't want to play that's okay, we can get ice cream if you want!”

“I want um ice cream, please” Dave followed Roxy onto the front steps.

“Alrighty! We can totes do that, I think there's an ice cream place right around here.”

Roxy carefully held his hand the entire walk home, which Dave thought was nice. After about five minutes of walking, they made it to the ice cream parlor.

“Look! We're here!” Roxy bumped Dave on the shoulder to draw his attention.

“Mhm,” Dave quietly followed his mother over to the counter to order their ice creams.

“Okay I'll have one strawberry ice cream and, what do you want Dave?”

“Uhh cookies and cream please.”

After the two got their ice cream they started to walk back home.

“Hey Rox, do ya know um when dad is going to be home?”

“Yeah, he has to run some errands so it might be another hour or two. Don't worry though! Me and you will have loads of fun.” Roxy reassured him that the time would fly by and she'd be out in no time.

“It's okay if you don't want me to stay. I'm not mad I promise.” Roxy gently stoked his hair.

“N-no I don't want you to leave I just don't want you to uhmm never mind.” Dave quickly cut himself off before starting to try and speed-walk home.

“Dave baby slow down. You can tell me anything! I wouldn't say a peep to anybody, not even John!” Dave hit a full stop when she said that.

“Uhm well that was kinda it, I don't want you to go and talk about me to like, I don't know, Rose or Dirk?” Roxy turned to Dave and pulled him into a hug.

“I would never do that, but I can understand why you would think that. Hehe, I talk a bunch so it's reasonable.”

Dave and Roxy stood, embraced in that hug for at least a minute straight before going back to walking again.

Once the two of them returned to the house Roxy decided it would be best just to stay home due to the heat instead of playing outside. Roxy put Dave’s show back on before realizing he was probably still hungry.

“Hey sweet pea, you hungry?” Dave silently nodded. While Roxy went to cook him something, Dave slowly moved over to where he kept all of his little items but started to hesitate, finally, he picked up his bottle.

“Whatcha messing with Dave?” Roxy asked, coming into the room to check on him.

“Uh n-nothing?” Dave squealed out as he quickly shoved what he was holding behind his back.

“Are you sure? Because that didn't seem like nothing?” Roxy questioned as she got closer. “What’s behind your back, Dave?”

“Nothing like I said!” Dave said in an elevated tone, leaning away from her, trying to conceal what was behind him.

“Dude, I need to see what's behind you so I can make sure it’s nothing dangerous.” Roxy pulled his arms away from his back, which was surprisingly easy.

“Pumpkin if you wanted a drink you could have just asked. I'll bring it when I bring your food. I'll be right back!” Roxy placed a small kiss on his forehead and went back to the kitchen.

While Roxy was in the kitchen she quickly filled up his bottle with the apple juice in the fridge, Grabbed his food, and made her way back into the living room. When she got there she handed him the plate.

“Um, thanks” Dave muttered while eating a big spoonful.

“Of course!” Roxy answered.

“Oh, wait! Here’s your bottle, sweetie.” Roxy handed him his cup and sat down beside him. Dave mumbled something inaudible and shoved it where it couldn’t be seen due to him being embarrassed by it. Which obviously confused Roxy.

“You okay little dude? I saw you hiding your drink, any reason for it? if it’s because of me, you don't gotta worry, I don't care whatcha do as long as you’re not getting hurt or making a mess.” Roxy moved closer so she was basically right against Dave’s back, She gave him a small hug from behind. Dave leaned into her warm embrace and cautiously reached for his bottle, looking over at Roxy to make sure she wouldn't judge him or anything like that. Roxy planted a small kiss on his head as he finally started to drink his juice. After around twenty minutes Roxy pulled a blanket over him as soon as she realized he was asleep.

“Hey! I'm back!” John announced, getting cut off by a loud “shhh!!” from Roxy.

#homestuck agere #dave strider #roxy lalonde #john Egbert in some parts #agere story

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taexual · 2 months

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Dude where do I even start :ccc

This chapter, I really couldn't wait to have some free time and read it peacefully (peacefully meaning, squealing and losing my shit at every paragraph)

I loved the plotting ok, the attention to details, the way they all worry about each other and just fight against this urge to bury Sid alive, so inspiring and wholesome :D

Also, something I've absolutely always loved about your writing is this continuous narration of the characters thoughs, interactions and quirks, like it may be the simplest of things for other people (like writers in general and stuff) but for me these moments -of Luna finally exchanging a gossipy stare with Maggie, or Jungkook feeling devastated when Oc took her hand away, and then making sure that it wouldn't happen again-, they just add so much endearment, personality, depth to the story. Idk, it feels like every comma you write has a purpose, and will eventually add up to some beautiful metaphors, and revelations.

What does it feel like to be such a talented writer??

Now, regarding the lovey dovey stuff... What the actual fuck are you trying to do to me? I swear I cannot look more deranged giggling at my phone every 32 seconds jfc, have some compassion.

Like jk demanding that kiss in the park? Had me doing flips

The “I never knew how to love you quietly."

AND OC RECITING HIS ENTIRE SPEECH??!? ‘We have Sociology together, I saw you sleeping in class, very cute by the way, the professor does not know how to shut up, have you seen that new Studio Ghibli film, I recently watched their classic with some friends, My Neighbour Jungkook, I’m Totoro by the way, I thought maybe—wait—no—’”

“Not one period, nothing,” you continued, a melancholic haze in your eyes. “Just commas and an endless stream of thought. You could have asked me to bury a body, I would have said yes.”

STFU I ALMOST CRIED, THOSE ARE MY BABIESS

The rain listened. It had become a fundamental part of your present and a prophet of your future: the two of you were going to spend the rest of your lives listening to the rain and falling in love.

This destroyed me actually, get me someone to listen to the rain and fall in love with, rn please and thank u

Also watch me try and write 'transfixing. Beguiling. Effulgent. Pulchritudinous' next time I'm falling asleep to test my writing abilities fr, just you wait

He was almost ready to call Rated Riot’s next song “Smile Lines” and just sigh dreamily into the microphone for five minutes while Yoongi played gentle piano chords in the background.

As if their entire discography wasn't like this already, at least in my mind it is. But yeah, I can totally see him doing something like that next time oc does anything remotely endearing (breathing basically)

Ugh idk what to say, you have me screaming and crying for this couple, these characters and their story all the time, and I love you for it. There are also things I forgot to mention because my phone refuses to actually save things in the Clipboard, but overall this made my week, as your updates always do (and that paired with Ateez's performance in Coachella in a couple of minutes?? Yeah life feels worth living again 🤭🤭)

Thank you sm for this, take care of yourself pleaseee, ill be waiting for the next one cccc:

oh how i wish i could thank you eloquently, instead of going sskdhfksh at every word of your message 😭 i must stress that the fact that you noticed (!) these little moments between characters and you've enjoyed (!!!) them is the absolute highest reward i could get 🙏🏻 it's so easy to skim, you know?

babe making you giggle is my main purpose in life at this point, i don't know what to tell you. and you'RE SO RIGHT OMG he's so whipped for her, their next album is just going to be jungkook morphing from this 🥰 into just this ❤️ (like me for you rn, fr)

i also hope you have more peace and quiet to do the things you enjoy in your life!! i love you!!! 🥺🤍🤍🤍🤍 bless ateez btw

#ask #alanniys #taexual; sleepwalking #thank you thank you thank you 🥺🥺🥺#i actually had to split this chapter..... so this almost 20k monster is only half of what i had planned 🥴#but i figured the word count was getting kinda wild and split it in two shdkdh #so naturally i was a little worried about the plot and the pacing #but i hoped that the uncut / intentionally long scenes between the two main characters would make up for it? 🥺#editing still took me over a week lol #so i'm overjoyed that it all got you to smile 🥺🥺🥺🥺#YOU are transfixing beguiling effulgent pulchritudinous (jesus this last one) and so much more #thank you again 🤍🤍🤍

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uglyimagines · 1 year

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𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 - 𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍

(Sorry I've been offline for so long, but I'm going to try and get back into this whole writing thing a bit more as I have more time now to write properly haha. Based off the taylor swift song, obvs. This is verrryyy angsty, and written from female perspective.)

I gripped the steering wheel as I followed the familiar road to the trailer park on the other side of town. Things had been getting rough between Eddie and I so I figured leaving for a bit of time and space for the both of us might do us some good in the long run. I had gone back home for the mean time, but that was until I got the dreaded call from him.

"Can we talk?"

I knew in the end it would come to us having to talk it out eventually, how everything that had happened with the others in the upside down and Vecna had ended up coming to this. The decision. Could we really give it another go? Or would we call it quits? Things had changed between us these past few weeks, not just because of how everyone saw Eddie now as the murderer of Chrissy Cunningham but because of the situation as a whole. I didn't think this stuff was even remotely possible, but that was before I was dragged into it headfirst. But that wasn't the only reason, I guess.. I sort of fell out of love with Eddie. Not because I wanted to and not because of the rumours and stigma he had now attached to him, I guess people just grow apart? People change. And I changed. More than I thought I had. I had seen the looks exchanged between him and Chrissy in the lunch hall, no matter how much I tried to ignore the fact I was always going to be the second choice. I knew, being his best friend since the middle school he had always had a crush on her. Even if he didn't outwardly say it, the look on his face was plain as day. If there was anything I wanted from this, it would to be not to have to lose my best friend. But sometimes we don't get what we want.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I turned into the trailer park, pulling up in front of Eddie's trailer as usual. I turned off the ignition, and jumped out of my car locking it behind me. My hands went straight to my pockets as I made my way to the door. I shouldn't be as nervous as I was, this had been coming for a while. Why was I so nervous?

Before I could knock, the door swung open. My face met a tired Eddie, bags under his eyes as he scanned my face. I let out a small smile.

"Come in." he said, before turning around to make his way towards the couch.

I followed, standing in the living room of the trailer as he sat down. I shifted on my feet. I didn't even know where to start.

He looked up at me. "You can sit down-"

"Eddie, why am I here?" I interupted him, looking around the room before my eyes landed back on him.

He stayed quiet, looking at me.

I scoffed, looking down at my feet before turning to leave out the door. "Eddie, if this was seriously for nothing I'm just gonna-"

"ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴘʀɪʟ 29ᴛʜ?"

I turned around to face him, my hand hovering over the door handle. I could feel myself tense up, and my hand start to shake. I slithered it into the pocket of my jacket, nodding at him.

"I was with Chrissy."

I felt my whole world shatter beneath me. This whole time. I should have known. How could I have been so stupid, to believe that I meant anything to him? I was always going to be the second choice, I knew that.

I shook my head, laughing almost. He looked at me furrowing his eyebrows, confused.

"Why are you laughing?" He asked.

"Why am I laughing?" I said, taking in a deep breath. "I'm laughing at how stupid I've been. How stupid I am to think I meant anything to you-"

"Okay, Y/N stop-"

"How stupid I was to think I could ever be your first choice! It's her, it's always been her! Ever since we were kids! How could I have been so stupid?!" I said, tugging at my hair and pacing from one side of the trailer to the other occassionally stopping to point at him as I spoke.

He didn't say anything. Just watched as I moved from one end of the trailer to the other, thinking.

It went on like this for a moment or two, until I stopped and turned to him. Tears strung at my eyes, which I quickly wiped away with my hands before returning them to my jacket pockets. Why did I still care this much, he'd made his choice. And I'd made mine.

"I guess this is it I guess." I said, looking down at him.

"Y/N please-"

"What is there to say, Eddie? You've made your bed, now you've got to sleep in it." I said, sniffling a bit more than I'd like to.

"You don't mean that." He said, looking up at me from his lap. His eyes stung with tears, clearly hurt from what I had said as it was plastered across his face.

"I do Eddie, I really do." I continued. "These past few weeks have been hell, literal hell. And I'm not talking about the upside down, I'm talking about us. You've changed, I've changed. It was bound to happen, especially with the situation were in." He looked down at his lap again, with some sort of guilt. "I guess I've sort of fell out of love with you Eddie." He looked back up at me again, shocked as a tear fell down his face. "I'm sorry, it wasn't what I wanted at all. But not everything goes the way you want it to, and I've had to accept that. Even with this."

His gaze didn't move from me. I gave him a small smile, before wiping away his tear with my thumb. I looked at him one last time, before turning to leave out of the door. My hand found the door handle and I opened the door, before turning to look at him one last time.

I gave a deep breath. "Bye Eds." I left, closing the door behind me and making my way back to my car.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞'𝐬 𝐏.𝐎.𝐕

I watched as she left, before putting my head in my hands. How did I let this happen? I shouldn't have done that deal, I shouldn't have met up with Chrissy after the show. There's a lot of things I shouldn't have done.

I stood up, wiping my face on the sleeves of my denim jacket and making my way to my room. I shut the door with some force, before falling onto my bed. I sighed, staring up at the ceiling. At least there was a good side, at least Y/N didn't have to deal with Vecna and the upside down anymore if she didn't want to. I guess other than her friends, she's got no reason to anymore really? I sighed, sitting up and going to my records shelf. I scowered through the shelf, pulled out a record at random and put it on. I went back to laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling with my arms outstretched either side of me.

I guess, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴍᴀɴʏ ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʟᴏᴡᴇꜱᴛ ᴡᴀʏ ɪꜱ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ.

#flufftober #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie x fem!reader #stranger things imagine #stranger things s4 #eddie munson imagine

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dam-peace · 1 year

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Life Update, Game Updates.

Hey guys,

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, things have been pretty hard recently. I actually fractured my foot a couple weeks ago on my way to work, and am currently unable to walk. My job refused to give me sick pay, because my 'average weekly earnings were not high enough', which is funny considering I was a full-time worker.

All in all it was just their roundabout way of saying that I wasn't entitled to sick pay, because I haven't worked there long enough. Long story short, I just put in my 2 weeks for the job because I just didn't have the will to fight a losing battle. So, now I'm currently looking for a new job remote from home, so money's been tight, made that much worse by the increase in the cost of living.

I was also supposed to get a mortgage to move into a better house and area, but looks like that may not be in the works right now. Something that I was extremely excited for, even postponed going back to University for. The career I chose to go into years ago is no longer what I want to peruse.

Worse, its becoming one of the main things that deteriorates my mental health further, not to mention my poor mother is extremely overworked, underpaid and suffering from her own physical ailments. And, I'm not exactly helping things either as the eldest, with me being bedbound and now out of a job. Though she doesn't hold it over my head, which only makes the guilt that much worse.

Mentally, physically, emotionally and financially I just feel drained. I'm trying to hold onto things that give me enjoyment, like making my games. As well as maintaining a positive attitude, because the last thing I want is for my depression to take hold of my life like it used to. Whilst I look for a new job, I actually plan to take a break from doing asks on Tumblr and what not to start my patreon again.

This time better than ever, as I now know what I'll be doing and what to offer, after looking at what other creators are doing for ideas. I'll still try to answer any questions you guys may have and reply to any comments, it's just sometimes I get overstimulated and completely shut down at times. So if I'm taking a bit of time to do something, please just be patient with me, I really am trying.

So for now I won't be updating the public demos for awhile, as I want to work on the alpha build for patreon, as well as other patreon content. When I do so, I then want to start looking for beta testers to take a bit off of my plate, because looking back through all the coding and story content is something that frustrates me beyond belief, and again is very overstimulating for me.

In addition to a 'Coding Advisor' of sorts with the beta testers or amongst the best testers, someone who can help me properly code in things that I can't seem to find the solution for myself. Because as I've mentioned before, I'm still new to coding and there are many things I'm still unable to do, e.g. coding in a 'dark mode' for readers. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to pay any of these people, but they would be credited in my work.

So, yeah that's been my life, if you managed to actually read through everything above, good on you. I probably would've looked at all that lengthy text and clicked off, lol. But, despite all the depressing stuff above, I just want to take the time to thank each and every one of you for you love and support.

From the views, downloads and playthroughs to the kind comments, constructive criticism, game ratings, follows, likes, questions/asks, artwork, reposts and payments. As well as, adding my games to your collections, or by simply just showing a genuine interest. I thank you for every contribution you've every made in any way, because no matter how small it may seem to you. It really does mean a lot, and continues to push me forward, through some really hard times ♡

#ABO-if #VV-if

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corujalesbica · 1 year

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Rock and Roll bugs - a steddie one shot

It was almost noon, and Steve was tired. His suit felt suffocating then, and his muscles were sore. Still, it was all worth it. It always was.

He thought about going home early,but Steve was damn sure no-one would be waiting for him there. Ever since his parents died, he had been living in their huge apartment with his aunt, who was always traveling. He couldn't make himself blame her, she only inherited a small part of his parents fortune, the rest was for him, but of course he would only have access to it once he turned eighteen. His aunt didn't make a lot of money, but she sure did love her job. So he had to start working part time at a local ice cream shop, it was the only way to afford the stuff he needed to keep his Spiderman thing going.

He turned to see the sun, high in the sky. There was not much going on and he could be doing quite literally anything else. So he decided to go to his best friend's place to see what she was up to. He got to the little house painted in pink quickly enough, distances aren't much of a problem when you can jump from building to building with spider webs. The smell of something burning in the stove and the noises made by the neighbor's cat were more familiar to him than the paintings in his living room.

Robin was, of course, reading one of their weird nerdy magazines instead of checking the food that was cooking. Steve almost laughed; they were trying to solve a puzzle with the magazine upside down.

_ Hey weirdo.

_ Hey _ Steve said _ What are you up to ?

He sat on the couch, hearing the strange noise it always made under his weight. The TV was on and some kind of culinary contest was playing.

_ Just, you know, trying to solve the puzzles in this Mexican magazine they gave us. It's my Spanish homework.

_ Nice. _ he paused _ wanna watch a movie or something ?

_ Yeah.

_ What movie then ? _ He got up to get the remote control. _ And don't say-

_ Do revenge! _ she looked at him with puppy eyes _ pleasseeee. _ He shrugged

_ Fine. But next time I'm gonna choose a movie like suicide squad and you're not gonna say a word about it.

_ Ok.

_ Can you put the movie on while I change ?

They just made a kind of positive sound, and Steve went upstairs. Robin's room was like it always was, a mess. There were clothes everywhere, books and DVDs among them and maybe some other stuff he didn't know what was. Steve also didn't know why the fuck Robin still had DVDs.

He got the clothes he brought in his backpack, borrowed one of Robin's binders and went to the bathroom to change.

The movie was actually nice. One of the protagonists looked a lot like Robin, though Steve couldn't imagine his nerdy empathetic friend being that mean to anyone. After that they talked a bit about how both their weeks went and at some point Robin fell asleep lying on his shoulder. Her hair smelled like strawberries and for a little while, the world was a good place.

He ended up leaving after they ate. He had to make some pasta because Robin burned the food they were trying to make. It was a fun evening, and an outsider might think that there was something inherently romantic to it. There wasn't. They cuddled on the regular, because the feeling of having a love that could only be transmitted by hugs, by that innocent physical touch, was too good to let go of.

He took the shortest path back to his big apartment in the center, that is, he swung between buildings, making sure to not be seen, until he got there. The apartment was empty as always. And quiet. Steve turned on the TV to try and feel less lonely; it didn't work. So he got his phone and the first notification he saw was one stating the local news had just released another article talking about him.

His laugh echoed in the house. The article talked about how he was a great hero, and not at all any kind of impostor who would try to trick Hawnkins's great people into praising him for nothing. There was a time though, in which the only thing the Jornal did was attack him. And the then writer, now editor, who was mostly behind all of this was no-one but his ex-girlfriend : Nancy Wheeler.

Nancy and Steve had a rocky relationship. He always felt like he was not enough for her, like her distance was his fault. It took both parts a long time and lots of effort after that, to become friends again. Especially so, when she found out he was Spiderman. Steve would like to say he told her this out of good heart, but in truth she found out by herself. Nancy had many flaws, but being a bad detective was not one of them.

A few months ago he found out she and Robin were dating. It probably should've caused him some feeling of betrayal, but it never did. Both his friends were very happy, he now knew the problems in their relationship weren't all on him, and besides, he was in love with someone else.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Steve met Eddie Munson during a Thursday afternoon. The music and arts building of Hawkins High School was on fire, and as soon as he saw it he got his suit and fortunately could get everyone out safely long before the firefighters arrived. He had been in his basketball practice at the same time some nerds club was having a meeting, and he had to wait for it to end so he could get his neighbor, Dustin, home. Dustin was an adorably annoying, kind of funny kid, and although Steve complained, he always loved the company.

Eddie Munson probably loved Dustin's company too, because he stayed back to be sure the boy got out. Dustin was apparently in the bathroom when it all happened, and as a result Munson had to help him out the window, and then come out through the front door because he didn't fit through that window. When Steve got the others out and came for him, his jacket was literally freaking burning. Somehow he managed to lift an almost passed out Eddie and hold him until the ambulance got there.

After that day he started noticing the somewhat goth guy more and more. The way his smile could light up a whole room, the way his clothes would stick to his skin, the way his hair was messy is the cutest way. One day, after practice, Eddie walked Dustin to Steve's car, and asked him on a date. Dustin was in awe when he said yes.

Eddie left, after kissing Steve's hand, like they were in an old romcom, and walked to his van with a wink. And the truth is that Steve was already falling then. And that's because although most people think he's this stereotypical jock, the guy is actually very much of a hopeless romantic.

He transitioned just after middle school, so most people didn't know he was trans. In his freshman year, he started dating Nancy and for a while they were Hawkins High queen and King. At that time, Steve had a very strict idea of what a man was, and what was his role in the relationship. But contrary to him, Nancy never was that much into cliche ideas of love. So he would try and try to be someone she didn't need, someone he himself didn't like. Eventually, he understood that his manhood didn't rely on heteronormative ideas of what he was supposed to be doing and thinking. Even so, it still hurt to remember how dysphoric trying to constantly prove his identity made him.

With Eddie, he didn't have to. Well, first because Eddie was also trans, and understood him like no-one but Robin could before. But even so, being with Eddie, being in that aquillean relationship, made him feel like the man he was. He felt seen. Suddenly, the gender roles of who was supposed to be doing what didn't matter. He would insist on paying for dates, Eddie would bring him flowers and he loved hugging Eddie, who wrote him the most beautiful letters.

Because after that first date they went on another, and then another and another. Eventually, Steve learned he wasn't that good at keeping secrets after all, because Eddie also found out about his hero persona before he could tell him. His reaction though, was like none Steve had gotten before. Eddie's eyes shined when he confirmed his suspicions, he wouldn't stop jumping and smiling.

_ I'm dating a motherfucking superhero! _ he said before kissing him.

And that was when Steve knew he loved him. Because that smile was the same on the face of every person he saved. Because Eddie reminded him that being a hero was about helping others I'm any way you can, and that he was enough. And at that moment, he was so happy.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Steve got up, feeling nostalgic, and turned the TV off to go to his room. When he got to the long hallway though, he noticed his room's lights were on, which was weird because he remembered turning them off before leaving in the morning. He thought that maybe one of his enemies found him. He didn't have lots of those, but still. Maybe the scientists at Hawkins weird ass lab wanted revenge for the time he broke in and rescued a bunch of kids that were being used as guinea pigs. Or just maybe, it was the FBI , hunting him down for whatever reason. Nonetheless, he prepared for a fight, opened the door, and…

Saw his boyfriend laying on his bed, headphones on, and very concentrated in some Star Whatever magazine. Steve let out the breath he'd been holding. It was not until he lied on the bed too that Eddie noticed him.

_ Hey handsome. Busy day saving lives ?

Steve let out a laugh.

_ No, actually, I spent most of the day at Robin's. What are you doing here ?

_ What, now a guy can't visit his boyfriend ?

_ I gave you that key for emergencies.

_ This is an emergency! I haven't seen you in like, a week. I need one of your hugs soon, or else I'm gonna die!

_ Oh yeah ? My hugs are now some kind of medicine ?

_ Can't… Speak… I.. Am dying. _ Eddie said between forced heavy breaths, while holding his own neck and creating the most dramatic fake death scene Steve had ever seen.

That is, until Steve did hug him.

_ You are such a drama queen.

_ Yeah baby, and you love it.

Steve blushed at the pet name. He still wasn't quite used to being cared for like that. Being called that gave him an amazing kind of fuzzy feeling. He dug his nose in his boyfriend's shoulder, smiling to himself. His shoulder was still hurt from last week's fight though so he had to get away from him.

_ Are you okay honey ? _ Eddies look was now one of worry, his laugh entirely gone.

_ Yeah, it's just this wound that hasn't completely healed. Usually I heal pretty fast, but that guy with the knife last week really got me.

_ Well, then, we should get you some new bandages to go to sleep right ? I'm not a doctor or anything, but…

_ Yeah, sure that makes sense. Can you help me ?

_ No sweetheart, I would rather see my boyfriend and one of my favorite people in the world bleed to death. Now where do you keep your medical stuff ?

Eddie helped him change the bandages. Had it been anyone else, even Robin, he wouldn't be comfortable taking his binder off in front of them. But they knew each other and each other's bodies so well it didn't really matter. If anything, they helped one another by praising each other's figure.

_ And… You're done, bug boy!

Steve snorted.

_ What did you just call me?

_ You _ Eddie held his face _ are my cute lil' bug boy, saving the world with your charm and maybe some spider webs.

_ And you _ Steve put his hand on Eddie's cheek _ are my rock and roll boy, my favorite singer and writer. I may save the world, but it's only so they can all love you for exactly who you are.

Eddie laughed.

_ You are one unique, cheesy, lovable thing, you know that ?

_ Yeah, I do.

They kissed for a while, and then slept cuddling and Steve could not be happier. As long as he had Eddie's shitty jokes, cliche flirts, and unique persona with him, he would be the best hero Hawkins would ever have.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Not my best work, and I will probably review it soon, but I do love the idea of an Spiderman au for then + t4t steddie is my everything

#steddie #steddie fanfic #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #stranger things #steve harrington #gay #t4t #spiderman au #lgbtq #steve x eddie

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ducknotinarow · 1 year

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[87 Don @ either Mikey or Raph, whoever you think works better - he's got his pen pal uwu]

Every day, every single morning, Donatello would run to their PO box and excitedly look through it, clearly waiting for something. Alas, so far, every morning, he would return to the lair dejected and disappointed that there was nothing for him.

However, that morning Don hadn't made it to the mail first, his brother did instead. And when he saw a box, well, Donatello was clearly excited, as his tail wagged behind him,

"Is that for me?" He asks, clearly hopeful, as he holds out his arms expectedly, "I've been waiting all week," They were aware, "I just hope nothing she sent expired on its way here."

Donatello hadn't exactly mentioned his penpal. Oops, looks like someone had some explaining to do.

| Muse Interaction

Raph stretched his arms high above his head and let a yawn work out from the back of his throat slowly rolling his shoulders to ride out the tried expression. As he made his way into the kitchen rubbing at his eye to remove some of the sleeping dust out from green eyes before he prayed them open. Despite getting his gear on and dragging himself out from the bed he was not at all awake in the slightest. He was hungry though. Hungry and tried. Chewing over those two wants alone he eyes a box of cereal on the counter. Perfect.

Snagging the box with one had he used his other to grab a sai and use one of the ends to slice through the top of it. Opening it up as he flicked the end of his finger against the handle spinning his weapon with ease so it was face down. Slipping it back in place of his belt, hand then digging into the box to grab for a hand full of the sugar coated puffed corn. He could hear the the sound of a quicken pace suddenly and took a few steps to the right to move out of the open doorway. Donatello rushed on by not even paying a glace Raphael's way as he busied himself with his breakfast. Cheeks full and puffed out as Raph turned slightly to peer out from the kitchen watching Donatello continue on his way. It was like clock work it's why he knew when to move to get out if the way, pretty positive Don wouldn't stop even if he was in the way.

"muft bfft gonft ta cheth th mafh" (must be going to check the mail)

Raph said when he saw Mikey walking on it next raising his brow a bit confused on where Don could be heading off to just now. They share a look then shrugged thier shoulders. Raph making way to the fridge now as he grabbed for a carton of milk and drank from it to wash down the cereal.

Well Donnie seemed to be in higher spirits lately Raph had noted near being ran over or bulldozed over by his twin almost every morning as they seemed to mad a mad dash out to their PO box every day. Where they would wait around till the mail would be dropped off. Raph didn't think to much on the matter. Just that it was nice to see his brother had a spring in his step. The smile that had been missing from their face had come back in full force. Maybe brighter than before actually? Even when Don returned looking dejected over not getting what he was waiting for it wasn't like how he had been before. So yeah Raphael was curious as this kept going on. Mikey and Leo seemed to also start growing curious about what was up with thier brother as of late. Don't get any of them wrong they were happy to see Donnie in such a bright mood but seeing how he hadn't mentioned what had him like so?

Well it wasn’t that they were worried just being cautious. From Donnie always setting out and nearly dying because of thier inventions getting messed up or stolen. To the April stuff the three of them were just being mindful. Raphael especially.

As he sat down on the couch milk sat on the arm of the couch and cereal box nestled between his legs as he grabbed for the remote and started looking for the current run of the house of haha. Only to look back when hearing the same footsteps before clearly dragging across the floor. Donnie once more a lottle sad from how his shoulders were slumping but the thing was even with him looking down? It was still clear there was something going on. He just looked disappointed at best. Hmm what had his brother so enthusiastic lately?

The following morning though, with the clock struck nine and Donnie hadn't poked out Raoh decided he'd do his brotherly duty. And be completely and utterly nosey about his brother's business. Making his way to the PO box casually drumming his fingers to the door as he held it and looked at the box sitting in there.

"Yvoone?" He asked tilting his head at he looked to addressing on the box. "England uh?" Raph hummed over he went and pulled the box free clearly it had a good couple of items inside from how everything shifted in the one motion alone. Raph safely tucked it under his arm and let the box shut closed soon after. Little smirk to his beak as he made his way back now. "Now what excstly has Don been up to? Or better to ask whose the dame Donatello seems stuck on?"

Setting the box down to the kitchen counter as he went and told Mikey about what he found the two of them seemed to be sharing in simulators thoughts back and forth between them. "Guess thats why he's been running back and forth he was waiting on this package from this Yvoone." He offered with a shrug but he did notice the look on Mikey's a bit curious but he didn't think much on it. Not given a chance as his gazed shifted to Donatello now. "There's sleeping beauty as I live and breath."

"Is that for me?"

There's clear hope in his voice and one could swear his face was lighting up at the mere thought alone. Yup, seems this what had thier brother all Twitter patted then.

"I've been waiting all week,"

"Oh were you had no idea you been expecting something constantly checking the mail as you were." Raph said sarcasm thick on every word he spoke. But didn't phase Donnie in the slightest it seemed. As Raph grabbed the package once more moving tk holding it over to his brother as they eyed the boxed now.

"I just hope nothing she sent expired on its way here."

Raph figured it was a girl but the confirmation gave him an idea. "Hmm not a select admire then uh?" His gaze shifted to Mikey and that was all that had to happened before he yanked it back before Don's finger tips could even grace the cardboard. "Catch!"

Was all the warning Mikey got when the box was thrown up and over Don's head no long worrying about anything getting ruined as Mikey grabbed it and jumped up to the table to hold it out from Don's reach.

"Now tell us who Yvoone is Don." Raph said as he hopped up to the counter catching the box himself when Mikey threw it back. Donnie didn't tell them about his pen pal and if he wanted his gifts? He was gonna have to start opening his beak now.

#muse| hamato rapheal #muse| hamato michelangelo #(he didnt talk but he was present xD)#madamkezzie #aflockoffeathers #[ you think first i hit first aflockoffeathers]#[87 verse]#muse interacction #stayed qeued #((sorry donnie but keep away till you fess up uwu))

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unfixablebabyyy · 3 days

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pt 2 of the dennis You thing uh fair warning it's kinda all over the place but i had fun writing it (also gonna post it w the original but im a boomer and despite a decade on this site i still don't know how to work it properly lmao)

(nsfw, minors DNI)

There's something wrong with me. I haven't really been sleeping which is doing a number on the bags under my eyes. I keep getting these crazy headaches. I think I'm breaking out- I caught a blemish in the mirror last night and I'm certain it's gotten worse. Unfortunately, it's all your fault. The last woman I slept with was in and out of my mind faster than I was in and out of her, but you are driving me absolutely insane. Mac has started to notice, which is goddamn annoying. He keeps looking at me like I have some kind of disease, asking me stupid questions, constantly hovering. Maybe it's because I stopped eating. Or maybe it's because I stopped taking my meds. Either way, he knows something is up, but he can't find out, and neither can Charlie, and absolutely not Frank. You're too sweet to keep a secret from Dee and, no offense, but quite frankly, I don't think you could- you're not a very good liar. And if Dee knows we slept together, what if she told you about all the weird and horrible things I've done? She's been oddly quiet about the whole thing. I can't even think about it without feeling nauseous. What if she told you about the system? Or the binders? Or the tapes? Or all that stuff hidden in the side panel in the trunk of my car? I'm not stupid, I know that stuff is more than off-putting- it's incriminating. I need to calm down. I really need a Valium but I forgot to get my prescription filled- my mind has been occupied by one thing: you.

It's been about a week since we had sex. I made you dinner, and I did my homework- I knew exactly what to say, exactly when to laugh, exactly how and where to touch you. I like the music you listen to and the movies you watch, or at least that's what I made you think when I had it all queued up, with notes on your favorite parts. We're compatible, see? I drank too much, which was stupid of me, but you didn't seem to mind. It all happened so fast and intense and I was in control right up until I wasn't. As I watch the tape for the 500th time I swear I can pinpoint the exact moment you slipped into my brain and made a permanent home there. That night I did the unthinkable and actually allowed you to stay over and when I woke up the next morning with you lying beside me I was shocked to realize that I actually hated the thought of you leaving. And when you did finally leave, I felt so empty it made me sick.

Usually, once I've been with someone intimately, my desire for them fizzles into boredom within a few hours or so, but I feel like I want you more now than I ever did before. I need to feel your hands on my body, your breath against my neck, your lips on mine. I need to taste you again. I want to own you, put you on a leash or handcuff you to my bed and leave you there so that I know you're all mine.

I need to shower. I need to eat something. I need my meds. My hands are starting to tremor and when I stand up my head rushes and I almost blackout. Is this what it feels like? I'd almost forgotten. I need to focus. The last time I felt even remotely this way for someone, it ended in alimony and a murder accusation. I pick up my phone from my bedside table. 5:17 PM.

"Hey. Stop by the bar if you're out tonight, drinks are on me." Send. I groan. Get it together. I should really go and open the bar. Can't forget to stop by the pharmacy.

It takes me two hours to get ready because I can't decide what to wear or which cologne you might like more. The uncertainty is making me so anxious I forget to grab something to eat on the way out.

"Dennis! Can I come with you?"

I think Mac is yelling at me as I bound down the stairs, but I don't really care- I can't handle him right now. Outside the sun is getting low, painting the sidewalk with shadows. When I get to my car and slide into the driver's seat, I immediately feel a little better. The warmth of the day coupled with the smell of the interior lull the chaos into a low buzz. I inhale through my nose and close my eyes. Relax. I turn on the Range and the radio comes to life. I cringe, resist the urge to cover my ears with my hands as the chorus of "Hungry Like the Wolf" blasts at full volume. I snatch the dial and turn it down. Any other time I would've loved a little Duran Duran, but right now, it's jarring and abrasive. I pull out a Jimmy Buffet CD and stick it into the slot. As I back out of a parallel park, I begin to sing along, "I spent four lonely days in a brown LA haze, and I just want you back by my side." That's right, focus. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar. Pharmacy. Bar.

I almost blow up at the pharmacist over the fact that it takes twice as long to get my prescription, except that she looks at me like she knows me, and not in a good way. She's tall, with dark hair and chocolate eyes, and I have to admit she does look a little familiar, but she's not you, so it doesn't matter. When she hands me my prescription and I still don't recognize her, she seems irritated.

Back in the Range, I pop open the cap and dump the pills in my hand. I pick out one and swallow it dry. The rest of the medication go back into the bottle, with the cap twisted tight, and I'm off to the bar, 20mph over the speed limit. When I finally turn onto Paddy's block, I clock Dee's car across the street from the entrance. I should have never given her that damn key. But then again, I've been so distracted lately, maybe I left it unlocked. Thank god the Valium is starting to kick in, otherwise I would be boiling over right now. Lucky her, I guess. I still slam the door when I get out, but before I enter the building, I roll the tension out of my shoulders and take a deep breath.

Inside, Dee is sitting at the bar, facing the door, with a heavy pour of wine in her hand and a smug grin plastered on her sharp face. Our entire lives, she's never bested me in anything other than being born 3 minutes before me, so her confidence right now is unnerving.

"Oh come on, really? Have you just been sitting here alone all day getting drunk?" a successful attempt at knocking her down a peg. Whatever you've told her (or she's told you) has inflated her ego dangerously.

"What?! Fuck you, I'm not drunk, I'm trapping you," she snaps back.

"Trapping me?" I can't help but laugh. It's so easy to get under her skin. I step behind the bar and take a clean glass to the tap, pouring myself a beer, preparing myself for what's to come.

"What do you want with my friend you little freak?" she blurts out, as clumsy with her words as she is with her lanky body.

"You have friends?" the drugs are doing their job. I feel like I'm beginning to even out, gain some control.

Dee, on the other hand, is seeing red, "You know who I'm talking about, don't play stupid with me. You couldn't just bang her and be done?" So then she knows I invited you.

"Honestly, Dee, I don't know who you're talking about," I take a sip of my beer and lean on the bar.

"Oh yeah? Then why don't I just text her and tell her not to come to Paddy's tonight?" Bitch. She smiles when she sees the mask come off and I glare at her.

"Whatever," my jaw clenches a little, but I try to maintain my posture.

"So? What are you planning?" she asks, and I roll my eyes.

"You always assume the worst," to be fair, she's also seen the worst.

"Yeah, because you haven't fucked the same girl twice since high school," that's probably true, "So what is it? You trying to prove some point to Mac? Did you and Frank make some gross bet about 'who could fuck Dee's friend first'? I mean what are you up to?" she squints at me, trying desperately to see inside my brain. I just shrug.

"Nothing," she should know I'm telling the truth- it's incredibly difficult to lie to your twin. But apparently I absorbed most of her brain in the womb.

"Dennis."

"Deandra," I mock, my patience wearing thin. Before she can open her big mouth, I say, "It's just drinks, ok? I had fun last time and I figured we could all hang out. That's all."

The longer the silence lingers, the more she begins to believe me until her eyes go wide, and she gasps, "Oh my God!" Suddenly, the door crashes open and in walk Frank, Mac, and Charlie. My stomach drops. I shoot her a pleading look, but she's ecstatic.

"Don't fuck this up for me," I whisper through clenched teeth, but it's too late. Dee turns to the gang.

"Dennis has a crush!" she shouts. The guys go silent. Mac's face twists as he cocks his head to the side.

"On a girl?" Frank doesn't look convinced.

"No he doesn't," Mac says incredulously. Good boy.

"Yeah, come on, Dee, what are you saying?" Charlie laughs.

"Shut up, Dee. If Dennis had a crush I would know about it, right Dennis?" Mac flashes his puppy eyes at me.

"Yeah, for sure," I reply, and Mac gives Dee an 'I told you so' look. The wind is absolutely sucked out of her sails.

"No, no, guys, do you remember my friend from the other day?" she desperately tries to hold their attention, but they've already stopped caring. We exchange glances, but that's the last of it.

"Dennis, pour me a glass of that slippery drink," Frank says as he climbs onto a barstool. My nerves are too fried for this shit.

"How am I supposed to know what that is?"

Frank waves his hand, "I don't know, Charlie always makes it for me."

"Oh good, I'm sure it's not something poison, then."

"No, no, Dennis, see, the Borax gives it this really nice sweet metallic taste-" Charlie begins to explain, but I raise my hand to cut him off.

"You know what, Charlie? I'm going to stop you right there because Borax is the stuff we use to clean the bar towels." I turn back to Frank, "I'm not making that- you're getting a beer."

"Oh, me too, please, Dennis!" Mac chimes in as he squeezes past Dee to sit on the stool beside her, nearly knocking her off her seat.

A few hours and a couple of drinks later, the door to Paddy's opens and in you walk with a burst of cool night air. There's the clatter of pool balls as Mac stands from his shot and I smile at you from the table, leaning on my pool stick, the medication and the alcohol bringing me right back down to where I need to be.

"Hey! Look who it is!" Charlie, who is drunk enough to be slurring his words, waves you over. "Wanna see something crazy I found in the alley today?" Before he can show you whatever it is, Dee pulls you aside and shoves some strong cocktail she made into your hand. I need to intercept.

"You want another drink?" I ask Mac to cover myself. I want to sprint over to you but I need to have self control.

"Nah," thankfully, he's busy lining up and practicing his next shot. As I make my way over I can feel my heart beating against my rib cage like a trapped moth.

"Hey," I hug you, kissing you on the cheek as I lean in. You're so warm and your hair smells like shampoo.

"Hi," your face feels hot against my cheek and when I pull away I can see that it's starting to turn pink. Dee looks like she's about to throw up.

"You wanna play?" I ask, motioning to the pool stick in my right hand, "Mac and I just finished a game."

"Yeah, sure," you look so cute and you don't even have to try- though it's obvious you have. It's reassuring. You want to impress me which means Dee couldn't have told you much.

"I'll be right over, I was just gonna grab another beer," I point to the abomination Dee gave you, "You want something else?"

You blush and look over your shoulder to make sure Dee isn't paying attention before leaning in, "A beer would be great," you whisper. God, you're so sweet, so careful about my sister's feelings. I nod and give you a little wink and when you brush past me to join Mac at the pool table I'm hit with a wave of your perfume and it's just as intoxicating as the first time.

"What did you tell her?" my face is inches from her ear, causing Dee to jump and drop her phone onto the bar.

She rolls her eyes and huffs, "Nothing, weirdo. Your stupid little secret is safe with me... for now."

Great. She wants to keep me nervous, like she's got me wrapped around her finger, but she never will. That information is all I need from her. I grab the beers and head back to the pool table, ignoring her glare. There you're bent over the felt, taking notes from Mac who thinks he's giving you good advice.

"Now when you go to hit the ball, if you put your hips into it, it's like an extra boost of power," he's saying as I step up behind you.

"I don't think that's right, Mac," you reply.

"Well then how do you do it?" he challenges. I cant stop staring at your ass.

You line up your shot and strike the cue ball. It hits a stripe that ricochets off the side of the table before missing the pocket by a fraction of an inch. "Fuck," you mutter.

"See? You needed that extra push!" Mac thrusts his hips as he tries to prove his point.

"Mac, you look and sound ridiculous," I finally weigh in, setting our beers on a nearby table. "Here," I prop my stick up against the table and pick up the cue ball, placing it in its original position. "Try again," I say, and you obey. You bend back over the table and aim your stick at a different stripe ball. Such a good girl. My fingers slowly press into your hips, tilting them forward as the heel of my hand presses gently into the small of your back. I nudge your feet apart so that you're standing square. I have to step back or you'll feel how hard I'm getting. You take another shot, and the stripe falls into the pocket with a satisfying crack.

"Whatever," Mac stomps over to the bar, leaving the two of us to start our game.

I give an approving nod that I know goes straight to your panties, "That was pretty good." You lean back against the table and cross your arms over your chest, which squishes your breasts together, and you wore something low cut like a little slut. I want to take you out back and pick up where we left off, "Why don't we make this a little more interesting?" You raise an eyebrow, "How about loser goes home with the winner?"

"Hm," you match my grin, your eyes dancing, "Fine. Deal." And I'm back on. You want me, and any doubt or fear I'd held onto despite the Valium and the alcohol vanishes instantly. I begin to gather the balls for the break.

"Just out of curiosity, what do you think my chances are here?"

Without looking up, I chuckle and reply, "Slim to none." I then lift up the rack and gesture, "After you."

Ten minutes later, you lose. Of course.

"Good game," I round the table to lean next to you. You're so close I can feel the heat of your body against me and if it weren't for my friends and the accusations this afternoon, I'd kiss you. "So, did you wanna leave now, or...?" You laugh.

"I thought you were buying drinks tonight?" you challenge. It's only 10:00- the night is still young and you want a hunt. I'm more than happy to give it to you.

"Fine," the words leave my mouth faster than I can catch them, "I suppose if you're willing to release your inhibitions, I'm not going to argue." That was a bizarre thing to say. I'm still off my game, unable to reel it in because every time I look at you I think about the way you made me feel that night. To my surprise, you just giggle.

"If you slip me something, I'll pretend I didn't see," you shouldn't joke about that- I just might.

"Hey you guys wanna do some shots?" Frank shouts across the bar.

"Looks like you're up, bartender," you bat your eyelashes at me before walking over to the bar to join the rest of the gang, hips swaying, making my mouth water.

As the evening wears on, one by one they drop like flies. Charlie is the first to go- passed out in the men's restroom, an open can of paint at his side. Next is Frank, of course, sprawled over Charlie's lap and snoring like a chainsaw. Dee and Mac last until around 2AM, but after Dee throws up into the ice machine, it takes every ounce of composer for me not to lose my mind on her. You might find that unattractive. Instead I suggest she goes home, heavily implying that it's not a suggestion at all. Mac is the last to go, but he doesn't leave without asking if I need help closing about a million times and throwing you an odd look. When the door shuts and the two of us are finally alone, you lean over the bar, and I can feel your eyes on me as I wipe down the counter with an old bar towel.

"So, Dee seems to think there's an expiration date on our... whatever you wanna call this." That dumb bitch. I bet she told you all about my penchant for fleeting affairs. I bet she told you I'm a womanizer or a misogynist or just a fucking asshole. I bet she told you you were too good for me, and maybe she's right, but fuck her.

"Dee doesn't think- if she did that would imply that she has a brain," that was too mean. I can tell because you don't respond right away and I'm afraid that maybe you think I'm annoyed at you and not my idiot sister.

"If there is, that's fine," you continue carefully, "I would just like to be in the know."

"My sister believes I'm incapable of having any kind of genuine feelings toward someone I'm sleeping with," I have a feeling you'd appreciate honesty over any lie I could conjure up, even if it's a good one. You're clever. Sometimes I feel like you can see right through me and it scares the shit out of me.

You pause. "Is she right?"

"No," I've never been so sincere with a woman and it's making my palms sweat. You hold back a grin and I feel exposed, my stomach clenches, and I have to take the wheel or I'm going to start getting all nervous. I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "Alright," I pick up my jacket from behind the bar and pull my keys out of the pocket, "You wanna get out of here?"

"Absolutely."

You wait on the sidewalk as I turn off the 'Open' sign and lock the doors. Tossing the jacket into the back seat of my Range Rover, I round to your side and open the passenger door for you. As you step up to slide into the car, you lean up and kiss my cheek and I feel my entire body go numb.

"What a gentleman," you grin and bite your lip and I want to spank you but I don't because you just called me a gentleman.

We share a cigarette on the way to the apartment despite my rule against it in the car- I can't help myself, I need to taste your mouth. You tell me all about the week you had and I react as if I don't know- as if I haven't been following you around this entire time. As I slowly pull up to the building, I look up at my window where I catch a glimpse of Mac as he flips on the kitchen light and walks past. Shit. As I park the car, I figure the best I can do is bring you upstairs and hope Mac sees it as an easy fallback- if I could get Dee's friend once, might as well get her again while she's around, right? That cover story would have to do.

You follow me into the building and up the stairs, pausing at the door as I sort through the keys. Just as I touch the key to the lock, the door jerks open.

"Oh thank God- I heard you coming down the hallway- hey can you help me-" Mac is breathless as he speaks, but when his eyes fall on you he abruptly stops. "Uh, hey." He smiles at you to mask his confusion.

"Long time, no see," you joke and he lets out a short laugh before glancing at me. I glare back at him, challenging him to choose his words carefully.

"Yeah... So what are you guys up to tonight?" Wrong. I clench my jaw. What do you think?

"We were just going to go watch a movie," I squint at Mac, hoping he'll get the hint to shut up and go away.

"Oh, cool, well... have fun," Mac looks for approval, but I deny him the satisfaction, brushing past him and pulling you along until we're both in my bedroom behind a locked door. The reality of having you alone in here is indescribable. It's all nerves and appetite in the dim blue light. It all feels so good in the dark.

I'm willing to behave, but as I move towards the television, your body collides into mine, your lips on my neck, teeth grazing my skin. I already like this game more than any other we've played.

"Are you gonna fuck me tonight, daddy?" your voice in my ear sends chills down my arms. Your generation is so needy, and I knew you were dangerous when you let me come close to choking you in the alley that night, but I've been looking through your laptop when you leave it at home, your phone when you were sleeping the night I claimed you. I've seen your search history, the things you watch at 3AM when you're lonely in bed and undoubtedly thinking of me. You're depraved.

"Oh yeah, kitten," my fingers weave through the hair at the base of your skull. I tug hard and you gasp, chin tilted upward, throat exposed. You shiver when I run my tongue from your collarbone to the curve of your jaw. I nip your earlobe before pushing you away roughly.

You stumble back and bite your lip, waiting for a command. It's been two weeks since we met, and one intimate encounter and you're already so eager to obey. God, you're perfect. "Take your clothes off," our eyes are locked, and I don't let you look away. It's almost sacrilegious that you're still fully clothed- here in my room, you belong naked. Always. You pull your shirt over your head and reach behind for your bra. "No," my voice stops you on a dime, "Slower," I demand as I step back and sit down on the edge of my bed.

From here, I watch the way your breath hitches when the cups of your bra brush your nipples as it slides down your arms and falls to the floor, the way you rub your thighs together before pushing your jeans to your ankles, the way you look at me- standing there, in just your underwear, exposed- like a fawn in the soft glow of the city night that filters through the window.

"Come here," you look like you want to jump into my lap, but you're being so disciplined with me. And why wouldn't you be? I'm your elder, I command respect, and it's my job to teach you manners. You slowly walk over and straddle my hips before planting yourself on my thighs, your hands pressed against my chest.

I wonder if you can feel my entire body buzzing beneath you. You've been waiting for this, too. I can tell. You're absolutely ravenous with it. Usually I would find this kind of behavior to be slightly endearing if not pathetic, but I want you so bad it's only driving me further down the rabbit hole. You're allowing me to control you and it's like it's the only thing I've ever truly wanted. I wonder how far you'll let me go. Not tonight. I want you to trust me- I /need/ you to trust me. So for now I'll play nice. If you want daddy to fuck you, then I will. I'll make you think I love you, princess.

I slip a hand between us and press my index and middle finger to your clothed cunt. It's already soaked through the fabric. I watch your pupils blow out as I push your panties aside and touch you, dipping both fingers into your soft, wet folds and sliding them up to meet your clit. You let out a soft mewl and I have to remind myself to breathe. Usually it's all about me, and why wouldn't it be? I'm the man after all. But I need you to know how good I can make you feel so that it hurts even more when I teach you what pain really is. I'm going to make you cum over and over again in every way I can possibly think of, and then, I'm going to deprive you. I can't wait to watch the light slip out of your eyes when you realize the fun is over, that you're mine, that your only purpose is to please me.

I can't help myself- without warning, I plunge my fingers into your tight little hole. You rise, yelp, jerk away at the sudden intrusion, but I'm much stronger than you, and an arm around your waist holds you in place.

"Shh," I swirl my fingers inside of you and you cringe, but this time, you stay seated like a good girl. You like it when I hurt you. I reward you with patience- pumping my fingers in and out of you slowly, gently spreading them as I go, stretching you out. You moan and slump into me, your face to my neck, planting lazy kisses as I work on your pussy. I feel like I'm going to black out. My clothes are suffocating. When I pull my hand away from your heat, you whine. I wrap both arms around you and flip you onto your back so that I'm on top of you, my knees between your legs, arms on either side of your rib cage. I sit up for a moment to remove my shirt, unbuckle my pants. You bite your lip and I reach down and run my thumb along your jaw. You lean in to my touch and when I get to your chin I gently pull your bottom lip from between your teeth. And then the pad of my thumb is pressing down on your tongue.

"You look so pretty," and you do- looking up at me through your eyelashes, sucking on my thumb, body nearly naked beneath me. Nearly. I pull my hand away from your face and nudge your hips. You lift them and I slide your panties down enough for you to relax back into the mattress. As I begin to work the thin fabric down your legs, something comes over me, and I back down off the bed and kneel on the floor. You sit up, watching me, eyes going wide when I grab your ankles and tug you closer. I haven't done this in a really long time. A really long time. I'm not nervous, but my heart is racing.

I pull you a little closer, and this time I'm more gentle. You inhale sharply when I drape your knees over my shoulders and the flutter of my breath hits your glistening cunt. When I look up at you, your eyes lock with mine, and I take the opportunity to slowly lower my head between your thighs. I watch your face as I press the flat of my tongue against your hole and drag it up. You taste so good, better than I'd imagined. Your fingers curl into my hair, and the dull burn in my scalp feels so good, I pull away a little just to feel your grip tighten as you whine and tug me back into you.

I hear you breathe my name as I relearn how to do this. I had been certain there wasn't a thing about sex that you could teach me, yet here we are. And I want to make you feel good. I want to be the best you've ever had. I need to be. So I take it slow, I pay attention to the way your body moves, the sounds you make, the pace of your breath, the rate of your pulse against my mouth.

I pull away for a moment for air, turn my face into your inner thigh and close my teeth around your soft flesh and you gasp and pull my hair so hard my head feels like it's on fire, so instead of letting go, I leave a dark purple hickey in the center of the indentation my teeth made on your skin. You moan and it rattles through me and I'm back to devouring you. I add a finger, then two, then three, and the sounds you're making are absolutely obscene and I think I'm getting you closer.

You squeeze down on my fingers and I swear to god I feel it on my dick. I groan into you and the vibration makes you flutter around me again and I touch myself with my free hand. I might actually cum from this. Your legs start to shake on my shoulders, and I focus on doing everything right as you whimper and moan and white knuckle my sheets.

"Dennis," your voice breaks through our syncopated panting and makes my dick twitch in my hand and if my eyes were open you would see them roll to the back of my head. The pressure is building- I feel your thighs tense against my ears, and I'm beginning to lose my pace on myself- it all feels so overwhelmingly good. I open my eyes to see your chest rising and falling quickly. Like a trapped rabbit. My teeth graze against your flesh and I nip at you lightly, shove my tongue inside of you, replace it with my fingers once again as I suck and bite at your clit. You let out one loud scream before remembering where you are, and sob as you teeter on the edge of climax.

"Daddy, c-can I-" you clench your jaw and knit your brow and it's so cute that you can't even use your words, and it's so cute that you call me daddy, and I'm about to cum, too, so all I can say is:

"Yeah, princess," and you're cumming around my fingers, against my open mouth as I spill out over the carpet and think vaguely about the stain. I thought you tasted good before, but now, I'm ravenous, and I love the way you tremble as I refuse to let up.

A few seconds later, you're cumming again, and if it wasn't for the alcohol and my medication, I would be ready for round two. Instead, I clean you up with my tongue and you scratch my head in sweet little circles as you come down. When your fingers find the space behind my ears my whole body tingles and it's like you've hit some sort of off switch. You giggle when I moan and close my eyes and rest my head against your thigh.

"I always catch you doing this," you take my earlobe between your thumb and forefinger and rub it a little, "What's up with that?" I hum at the familiar feeling coming from unfamiliar hands.

"I've been doing it since I was little," I mumble as you continue to make my brain short circuit, "I do it when I'm nervous," I'm not sure why I told you that part.

"You were doing it at the bar tonight," you comment, and despite the pleasure, my body tenses a little, "Do I make you nervous?"

When I open my eyes and look up at you, you're looking right through me, into my soul. I can't lie.

"Yes," and it makes me crazy. You smile.

"Good. That must mean you really like me."

I roll my eyes and sneak a quick nip to the inside of your thigh where my cheek was resting. You yelp and sit up to smack at me but I'm faster and I'm on top of you, pinning you by the wrists as you laugh. I hate how vulnerable you make me, all twisted up and trapped inside, and I feel like I need to contain you, but my hands on your wrists and my weight on top of you isn't enough. You have invaded every part of me, and it's too much.

"Well?" I can hear the smile in your voice even though my face is buried in your neck.

"Yeah, yeah," I feel like I'm in high school. You're younger than me and here I am blushing into the crook of your shoulder.

"Cool," your fingers slip through the hair at the base of my skull, "I like you, too." And even though I know that, the wave of relief that rolls over me makes me physically relax.

"Then you're staying," it's something between a question and a statement because the adrenaline is still making my head fuzzy. With my ear against your chest I can hear the methodical beat of your heart behind your sternum. I can't remember a time I was this intimate with someone. I want to get up, wash my face, grab you some of my clothes to wear, but my skin feels stuck to yours and your fingers in my hair is turning me off again. The air conditioner hums to life in my window and I feel the goosebumps pick up on your arms, your legs, the cool breeze ghosting over the thin sheen of sweat on your body. I sigh as I pick myself up off of you. I walk over to my dresser and tug open the top drawer, pulling out one of my Penn sweatshirts and toss it to you.

You bring the ball of fabric to your face, close your eyes and inhale. "You know this is mine, now," you say as you pull it over your head and hug yourself. I wish you weren't joking- I would love to see you in my sweatshirt every day for the rest of your life. I hope you wear it home tomorrow. I hope you don't go home at all. Next I throw you a pair of my boxers and when you stand and shimmy them up your legs, they hang so loosely off of your hips that I can almost see the v of your pelvis before you smooth the sweatshirt back down.

You hop back onto the bed and burrow under the covers, and I go to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. By the time I get back, you're sound asleep, your head on my pillow, filling my bed with the smell of your shampoo and body wash and lotion and perfume and you. I'm careful not to disturb you as I make my way into bed, as if you might leave if you wake up. When I wrap my arms around you and pull you into me, you murmur in your sleep and relax into my chest. I probably won't get much rest tonight, so I just enjoy the feeling of your warmth against me and the sound of your breathing as I think of how I'm going to explain this to my friends.

#dennis reynolds #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis x reader #my writing

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vodka-redbull-daily · 6 months

Text

October 22nd, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

Today was the first time it was somebody who was actually trying to do an “allowance” type pay schedule. I guess that means that this guy was more of a true sugar daddy than most of the other guys. I was really looking for a more consistent thing anyway, so I thought this would be something I enjoy. over text, he was making a big deal about how he was such a dominant person looking for a submissive. I put that in a switch in my bio because I hate running into those guys that say they're dominant when really they're just dicks. If you put anything in your bio that even remotely hints that you're not naively submissive, they basically just want to beat your ass and call it BDSM. It's really nasty and especially bad for people who are new and even though I'm still new, I know better than that. thank you way too many video essays about how terrible Fifty Shades of Gray actually was. He said his name was Jason, which would have been like the 5th Jason that had contacted me off that site. It was obviously a fake name and soon enough, he told me his real name was P------.

Anyway, we agreed to meet at this little bar in A-----. he had told me that he wanted me to show up with no bra and no panties. Honestly, from the beginning it seems like we weren't a good match. He was too demanding and I was too much of an independent spirit, I guess. I'm not saying that to toot my own horn. I'm saying that because I generally don't like being told what to do, especially in a meter condescending way. and that seemed to be his bread and butter. He had an attitude anytime I said anything that wasn't purely submissive “yes sir whatever you say sir” behavior. a very different dominant style than B------- was and one that I didn't like. He made a really big deal about the phrasing I was using, words like “ payment”, “ charge”, and “ that's fine.” as if those weren't the words commonly used on the site. but whatever. old men don't change I guess.

We met at the bar, he made a joke about how short I was, then got me a vodka Red Bull and himself a bloody mary. it was the first time I had seen a real bloody mary, I guess, because I didn't realize it had fucking bacon in it. It had a bunch of other shit too, but the bacon is what really got me. He went on for some long time about the proper way to make a Bloody Mary and all that. stuff I really couldn't care less about. We talked a little bit about figure skating, we talked a little bit about what I liked in bed. That's how it always goes with these guys. the most basic, organic conversation suddenly interrupted by the most vile sexual questions. I'll be telling him about my journey to do a double axle and he'll come in with “ so do you like it up the ass?”

I was pretty open with him about the fact that I was seeing other people which he seemed mildly annoyed about. He kept saying that he had to be the number one alpha, he was the number one daddy. Whatever man. He said he had to catch a baseball game with his friends, but if I was interested I could come back to his place and he just wouldn't go. I said it was, but then he made this weird thing about how I wasn't into it enough and how I was just going to go home. fair enough I guess. I really didn't like him that much so I really wasn't bothered by it. I was annoyed that I was out the $300 a week he was promising though. although, when I could see somebody like D-- once and get $400, $300 a week seemed kind of weak, especially since it seemed like he wanted it almost daily.

He texted me when I was about halfway home, asking if I still wanted to come over. He said he was annoyed with my tone of voice, but I guess he was horny Enough To Try again. I told him I would come over and he gave me a parking lot to park in. he came and picked me up from there, went to an ATM to pull cash, then drove me to his apartment. he asked if I was horny, so I reached up inside my shorts, wetting my fingers and letting him feel. he asked if it was because of him that I was turned on and I'm not a fucking liar, so just tell him the truth. I'm always wet. I'm always turned on. Most of the time it's not even anybody or anything in particular. He seemed annoyed with that. I guess he would have liked it better if I had lied.

He went on a fairly long rant about how the site was the same as it used to be. how all the girls and they are now common whores asking for too much money. How it was so much easier back in the day when people wouldn't ask for very much money and he didn't have to spend so much on every girl. This was pretty annoying to hear from my perspective. He went into this whole thing about how it was basically supposed to be dating, how you're supposed to be partners with that person and they're just giving you a little bit of cash, but he expects to be treated like a boyfriend. I can tell this is going to go downhill fast.

We got to his place, talked a little bit, and met his ugly ass little dog. He did a lot of smoking before we finally went into the bedroom. I had told him while we met at the bar that I really wasn't that into being hit. I don't get why this is such a big deal to people. if I don't want to be hit, I don't want to be hit. There's a million other things in BSDM that you can do. seems like he didn't give a shit about that though. after having me give him the obligatory blowjob for probably about 10 to 15 minutes, he finally put me on my hands and knees and started to fuck me. He was incredibly rough with me, slapping me all over incredibly hard even though I had already told him I didn't like that. He also would put all of his weight on my shoulder blade. It was like he was leaning all of his weight forward, but since he was balancing it all on that one hand that was holding my shoulder down, it was incredibly painful. Of course, I came a lot. I always do. I made a mess of the sheets, squirting all over the place. He liked that, but then again most guys do.

We did that for a little bit and there were a few times where he very roughly moved me into a different position and then kept going. He stopped to have me suck him a few more times before we would go back to having him pound me. All in all, even though I came a lot and squared all over the place, it really wasn't that enjoyable. it was just pain from the slapping and him tearing at my hair. it didn't feel good. That's why I said I didn't like it. but he didn't really care I guess. I even specifically said how much I hate the idea of being pregnant, but I guess he had a breeding kink because he made a big deal about how he was going to come inside me. he had a vasectomy, so he said, so he refused to wear a condom. he leaned down and told me all about how he was going to plant his seed in me and breed me. it was so fucking disgusting.

After he came, we laid in the bed and talked for a little bit more. He talked about how much he likes other girls, how much she liked virgins, all that nasty shit. of course, he was very excited by the fact that I was bi. I don't think there's any man that isn't excited about that. Surprisingly, he also seemed excited that I was having sex with a lot of other guys. I think it was because he thought he was just so much better than everyone else. He specifically wanted me to describe and Vivid detail every time I had sex with someone else, saying that part of his Kink was turning me into a shit. he also specifically asked for me to have sex with someone, I have them come inside me, then immediately come over to his place. I don't know what he was going to do with that, but this was after I had already told him how much I was afraid of getting pregnant and how much I don't like that kind of shit. Again, I guess he just didn't give a shit about what I wanted and only cared about what I could do for him.

He ordered us dinner, Chinese food. He made a big deal about how much he liked my bush while we were waiting for it. I get it. I get that people don't really know things and just say whatever they want, and that there was no way he could have known. but it just made me squirm. it made me squirm how he said the exact same thing that my step dad had said. It only helped compound how uncomfortable I was this whole time. how much I hated being there and how badly I wanted to leave. we fucked again while we were waiting for the food. It was pretty much the same. He had me suck him, then force my face into the bed while he beat my ass and fucked me until he came.

When the food came, we sat out on the couch and ate. he may watch that entire stupid baseball game. I thought I would be out of there after we finished eating, but even after the food was gone he wouldn't let me go. I guess he needed to wait until the entire stupid baseball game was done. He made a big deal about the score, joking that I was not “doing good enough” and that the team was losing because of me. haha, funny joke, I guess but it was actually pretty annoying and I really wanted to leave. I tried to do my fake yawning thing, lay down on the couch, cuddled up next to him, trying to signal that I was tired. no matter what I did, it didn't work. what was worse, is that since he's an old man watching the game on cable, we had to sit through so many fucking ads too. I got there at like 2:00 and didn't leave until 11:00.

Even after the game, he didn't let me leave immediately. He got on the phone with this friend I guess he was supposed to watch the game with. dropped the N word with the hard R which was incredibly surprising and made me want to get out there even faster. he did say some weird things about the coronavirus being fake earlier, so I probably should have seen this coming. he and his friends celebrated winning the game ( oh yeah, I cared so little about this game I forgot to even mention the fact that we won and he called me his good luck charm because of it) and we even had to watch some of the after game commentary before he was finally snapped out of his stupid Sports trance. he drove me back to the place where we had parked, finally gave me that stupid money, and I was finally able to go home. he gave me $200 when he had promised me $300.

I'm really not looking forward to ever seeing him again. I wonder if there's a way I can get out of it.

Total Earned: $1,600

Body Count: 8

Dick Pics: 9

Sex Ranking:

Brandon

Him

Tommy

Phillip

Raj

Thomas

Doc

Matt

#blog #daily blog #suagr baby #suagr dating #vodka redbull #my writing #spilled thoughts #daily journal #journal

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foggyparadisecandy · 7 months

Text

[Trauma dumping - scroll on by if you are looking for horny stuff]

I know, I know ... another one. I'm just purging it out as fast as I can. Catharsis in a public blog. Why not?

This one in particular is written for my ex-partner even though I know she won't read it. I just have to play pretend to feel remotely good about things.

Hey D - I want to start off and say that I love you, I care about you, and I forgive you for anything and everything. Please remember that you can always reach back out to me.

Yeah, what you did was pretty shitty tbh. But ... it's ok. I mean ... yeah ... do better. Good people do shitty things on occasion and IDK.

Maybe I'm way off base but everything points to a horrible trauma response. I could be wrong. I don't think so though.

Either way, who gives a shit at this point. I forgive you and the point of this letter is to ask that you don't use your treatment of me or us to beat yourself up.

It hurt. It still hurts. It probably will hurt for awhile but I'm going to come back stronger than I was before so, in the end, it will be a net positive for me. Except for losing you. That ... really ... is awful tbh.

I've told you how much you brightened my life in other letters so I'm moving past that one here. Let's talk about me for a moment and where I'm at and where I'm heading so you can feel like "hey ... Foggy is going to be ok ... I didn't permanently harm him and it seems like he's actually doing well."

And let's really quiet that subconscious that makes you want to feel bad - at least on this particular issue. It's all going to be better than fine for me in the end. I know that and you should feel ok about me.

I've made a lot of new friends who have been very kind and accommodating to my pain. You know I'm a curious dude and it's been very interesting to hear so many stories from other people. Love it.

I've reconnected with some old friends - online and in RL. I've got a pretty full social calendar these days which is a first in ... a loooong time. Pretty ironic considering how much I was always telling you to build connections and my own were thin.

I've started working out. It's only been 7 weeks and I'm doing pretty freaking good tbh. I started doing pushups and planks every time I thought of you but ... that got exhausting fast ... you are always on my mind lol. So I cut back to 30 minutes per day.

I've had it out with my wife about everything. Well ... not exactly everything but most things. I'm not sure where that goes but I know I don't want to go back to a boring status quo situation. You opened my eyes to a new way to exist and I want more, not less. It'll be ok either way - I know that for sure.

I've lost 8 pounds in 7 weeks. This one isn't really a blessing lol. I couldn't eat or hold food down for the first five weeks. Only really started eating again recently. But it is what it is. I wasn't heavy at all but I'm happier thinner so ... a win?

I've ... mostly ... started to be able to sleep through the nights again. For the longest time, the most I could sleep was 3 or 4 hours then wake and could not drift back off. I still ... am struggling ... a bit. Woke up the other morning at 4 am crying. That wasn't fun. But it's rare lately and I'm guessing will be gone soon enough. Not sure if this is a win or if it's me just feeling sorry for myself. I'm guessing the latter but I'm leaving it in here because it *is* better than it was early on so it's progress.

I've started therapy to figure out why I chase after helping others (mostly women) to fill the sad little hole in my soul. Actually ... I already know why. You know all the shit with my mom and ... yeah ... I'm working on it. Trying to get healthy for the first time since I was a ten year old kid. Kind of silly that it took you breaking up with me for me to figure this stuff out. It is really breaking me down to realize my life since ten has been so fucked up with trauma. Can you imagine not clearing your trauma away for that long? Can you imagine that? I hope not. Did you get that hint? I hope so.

I've refocused on work for the first time in a decade. I've set some huge fucking goals. I want to hit it big and I've given my team through the end of next year. I'm going to do it and then I'm going to fuck off from work and shift my priorities to something else - something more fulfilling. It's still to early but I want to take some of those self-improvement things we did together and do something with them for others. I'm using them on myself so I can see how they work and where they need to be fine-tuned. We'll see how it all goes.

I'm trying to figure out what makes me genuinely happy. All of my belief systems have been shattered tbh. I ... don't know yet if that's bad or good or just is what it is. I don't know anything atm about love or happiness or fulfillment or ... anything. I'm still more than a bit lost. You untethered me from everything I knew about myself. I'm not saying this is a bad thing ... I'm saying ... I don't know what comes next. Knowing me, it's going to be fucking great and better than it was. I've always been pretty good at solving problems and making great things happen for myself and those around me (as you know).

I'm doing my best to be kind to myself. I am not sure when the last time I was kind to myself was. I honestly can't remember when I've had a decent thing to say about myself. It's always been "do better" "be better" stuff. I'm working on it as fast as I can. Beating yourself up is an awful way to live. Not sure why I need your splitting on me to figure that out.

I have realized ... despite everything ... I am a good and decent and kind person. I lost sight of that for a hot minute there. I'm not perfect. Hah. Nope. But I do the best I can and I am quick to take steps to change up when I know I've fucked up. But yeah ... I'm good and decent and kind. I know those things now better than I ever have.

And ... you are good too. I know it deep down in my soul.

I see it in you. You are not your father. Far from it.

And you didn't permanently hurt me here. Lots of good will come from this. Believe it. Thank you for everything.

And I believe good things will happen for you. I have full faith in you.

I am no longer in a position to tell you what to do but ... please work on your trauma. For your own sake. And find a new path in life. I know you feel like your current job is your life but ... that job will bring you nothing but misery and sorrow and trauma and damage.

You deserve better. You know that. Deep down, you know everything we shared showed you a different path.

You deserve far better.

You might need to go through some pain to get on a new path but I know who you are. I know you are a fighter and know how to get shit done. You can and will do it. Start planning. Start doing.

And legit ... I'm still here and willing to boost you along in life.

I've always wanted one thing: to see you reach your full potential. It's amazing. The world is waiting to see it.

One final thing that I have discovered and honestly I feel really good about this one - even if you never reach out again:

I love you sincerely and wish nothing but the best.

#catharsis #self care #thoughts

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hermholland · 1 year

Text

This is going to be a little bit of a mish-mash of things but there is a point to it…

Lately I've been realising that I need additional help and support with my Depression than I'm currently getting. Despite the fact that since October I've had decent reasons to be upset or sad, I've recently acknowledged that I've not actually come back out of my misery for months, I've just found new reasons to explain it. It's clear that Things Are Getting Bad Again.

I've explained before, I think, about my abandonment issues, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, and paranoia, and it's been especially bad the last few months: I've struggled to communicate with others, I've questioned whether people I consider my friends would prefer if I wasn't around, I've wondered if they'd notice if I dropped off the face of the Earth, I've been anxious about reconnecting with people, I've been scared to make plans, I've had panic attacks at the prospect of seeing people I've not had any contact with in a long time… The list goes on.

My most recent struggle is that one of my closest friends seemingly not wanting to spend time with me or even really communicate with me if it's remotely out of his convenience. It's felt like if I try to make plans with him to do something other than go to one pub we always go to he either doesn't want to or he'll agree & then cancel last minute ghost me for a day or more. Not all of this is imagined, but it's far more down to his own personal issues than with some resentment towards me. But it's been hard enough reaching out and being rejected or ignored that I've had to decide to just stop reaching out for the time being as a form of self-preservation. The voice that tells me everyone hates me and that they're right to is always much louder and more convincing than reality or truth, and for a while now I've been questioning a lot about my relationships with the people I care about. This has been extremely painful, and I've been getting progressively more closed off and isolated as I've tried to deal with it.

That, and other things, and general demon voices telling me I'm an awful person, have me feeling unwanted, unlikable, and isolated. It's been really horrific.

The thing is, though, and essentially what's become the reason I've actually shared this, is that while all this has been happening, in the last week (and more specifically on Sunday) I've had a few different and entirely unconnected things happen which have done a lot to counter these feelings. Some of these things will seem entirely inconsequential, but in the context of what I've just explained they've all meant the absolute world to me.

A friend of mine couldn't make it to my pirate outing on the 10th of February because he'd broken his clavicle and thus was entirely bedbound. He lives on his own and has not been able to even sit up without great pain and difficulty for several weeks now. I've tried to keep in touch with him, even about mundane things like what I'm looking forward to eating that day, so that he doesn't feel alone and like everyone has forgotten him (I know that feeling and wouldn't wish it on anyone). This is the man that I made my little BlueJay toy for, so that he could come out with us to the pirate event that he'd been looking forward to before the accident. The day after the pirate outing I sent him loads of pictures of everyone who was out posing with the toy of him. He was incredibly grateful, and told me how much the gesture meant to him and that he believed that even thinking of making a stand-in for him so that he could join us was "a sign of true friendship". I was really pleased with this response and it made me feel really good about doing something that didn't feel like much of a big deal to me while I did it.

Fast forward to last Sunday.

As I was getting some stuff sorted on my PC, out of nowhere, I got a message from my friend that I'd had to stop reaching out to, simply talking about how he didn't like his new phone. It was nothing special or important, and was really only a grumble about something inconsequential. I'd been feeling unwanted and like my badgering was the only reason our friendship had persisted, and hearing from him about something so unimportant and conversational was, maybe quite oddly, an extremely affirming gesture about the status of our friendship. If he'd gotten in touch about something that mattered then it'd have been worse, because this was just talking for the sake of talking because we're friends. A tiny thing, but it meant the world to me.

Maybe an hour later I got a message from a friend of mine who I only ever see maybe once or twice a year because he lives far away, but always gives me a shout when he's in the area to hang out. I wasn't able to join him, but it was really nice to get the invitation, especially as he doesn't know any of my other friends, so it was entirely unrelated. Another simple thing but it made me feel wanted, which was wonderful.

Again a little while later I was chatting with another friend of mine who I always chat with on a Sunday, and everything about feeling unwanted and so on had made me worry that I was neglecting this friendship, and I said as much to him. He reassured me that this was not the case at all, and something about that and the way he did it was really comforting.

A little while after that I got a gift from a friend out of nowhere, which was far more meaningful than I think he remotely understood at the time, or even after when I reiterated my gratitude to him for it. He explained his reasoning behind giving me the gift as being quite simple and matter-of-fact, but even that kind of meant more because it wasn't some grand gesture designed to make him look like a saint… it was just "You wanted this, and I wanted to make sure you got it at the right time". I was incredibly flustered to receive the gift at the time (I'm shite at surprises, especially gifting surprises!) and later on when I was by myself I got really quite emotional about it.

All of these separate things happened from unconnected people for entirely different reasons and at similar but obviously not-choreographed times. Even though my Depression voices are extremely convincing and very loud, they can't block out the fact that all of those things happening so close together affirm the collective strength of my friendships with people. It's hard to believe that nobody likes me when all of these people have made gestures proving otherwise.

I'm having a hard time, and that's not changed. I'm not feeling better, as such, but the smallest of gestures from people (as simple as just messaging me out of the blue to say their new phone is annoying them, which just shows they want to share something in their life with me) have been so reassuring and affirming that things don't feel so heck right now. I'm still miserable, but that's helped shut up one of the worst voices telling me I'm awful.

You'll never know how meaningful just saying hi to someone without any purpose or agenda (except just that they're your friend) can be.

#personal #mental health #mental illness #depression #anxiety #me #rejection #rejection sensitive dysphoria #abandonment issues #loneliness #relationships #friendship #isolation #paranoia #reassurance

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captains-simp · 3 years

Text

Wanda Maximoff ~ Bottled Up Feelings

Wanda Maximoff X fem!Reader Smut

Word count: 3,139

Includes: oral, fingering and scissoring

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Thank you for this." Your brunette friend said with a small smile for what must have been the hundredth time that night.

The team had been on a long, frustrating mission that had everyone exhausted. All anyone wanted to do was put their feet up or sleep the year away, eventually going off to do just that.

You and Wanda hadn't parted since you got back. You hadn't even needed to suggest a movie marathon as the pair of you went back to Wanda's room almost the moment you landed purely out of habit, after getting popcorn of course, and made yourself comfortable on her bed that had come to be as familiar as your own while Wanda scrolled mindlessly through Netflix.

Once you decided Wanda was taking too long looking for a movie you decided to steal the remote (claiming it was payback for all of the hoodies she had stolen from you) eventually streaming a series of some of your favourite horror films - something Wanda wasn't so keen on.

When you finally decided to call it a night on the movies Want a had been adamant you stay the night with her, telling you if you tried to get up to leave she would keep there with her powers. You weren't entirely sure she was joking.

You hardly needed the persuasion, you were always happy to spend time with your friend and you were glad she felt the same way.

When you came out to her a year ago she had been so understanding and supportive, much to your relief. Nothing changed between you and she never acted weird or uncomfortable around you like you knew some people would. She told you to stay in her room and sleep in her bed just as much as you had before. But that wasn't something you weren't sure if you should be happy about.

You had had a crush on Wanda for the longest time. As time went on you spent considerably more time together it was hard not to crush harder. Everything she did made your heart flutter. And those sleepovers? The way she always cuddled up into your side, the soft smile that played on her lips, the joyful laugh that filled the room (especially when it was from something you said), it had been impossible for you not to fall inlove with your best friend.

You had wondered before if Wanda was strictly into guys. It was impossible to tell with her as she never talked about crushes and became closed off when the convosation arrived. For all you knew she could be asexual or aromantic.

You tried not to be disappointed at that thought as you knew you should support her no matter what, but you couldn't shake the feelings you had for Wanda and that filled you with guilt.

It was only out of respect that you never made a move on her. You wanted to know she was open to something with a girl before you tried anything. And you didn't want to throw away what you had. That thought alone was enough to keep you in your lane.

Whenever you voiced these fears to Natasha when she told you to do something about your feelings (because you couldn't keep anything from the superspy) she told you that relationships were like a gamble. You could either throw the dice or skip your turn. It seemed the latter was becoming more likely.

"Stop thanking me!" You exclaimed with a smile as you pulled the duvet back and lay down next to her.

Wanda had often asked you to stay the night with her. A couple of times she had come into your room at ungodly hours of the mornings and asked to sleep in your bed which you always welcomed with open arms.

You knew her nightmares could be unkind, memories from her past resurfacing and her fears being acted out in scarring detail. She never wanted to talk about it though, so you comforted her by wrapping your arms around her tight and letting her know she was always going to be safe with you.

She seemed to think she burdened you with her worries and fears, but that was never the case and it never would be. You loved her and you would do anything for her.

Wanda was laying on her side with an amused grin and propping herself up on her elbow as she watched you get comfortable. She looked adorable. Wanda always did. You mimicked her position to face her and noticed she was studying you.

"Penny for your thoughts?" You asked in a light hearted tone and saw her smile in response.

"I already have plenty of pennies, thanks." She smiled and glanced away. It took everything in you not to kiss her there and then.

"Really, what's on your mind?" Wanda looked at you a little longer, as though contemplating her words, before speaking.

"What happened with that girl you met last week?" She asked curiously.

Now that was new. Wanda knew you hooked up with girls every so often (she didn't know that it was a lame attempt to get over the fact you were deeply inlove with her) but she never asked about them.

"Just the usual stuff." You shrugged as though the question hadn't taken you by surprise.

"What's the usual stuff?" You looked up at her to meet her eyes that didn't hint at any obvious emotion. She had beautiful eyes, they were perfect. Brown swirls that you always thought you could look at for hours, hoping it might really be a window to her soul and you could finally know what was going on in that head of hers.

"We went back to her place and had sex." You said bluntly, not knowing how much detail she wanted.

"Was it good?" Seriously who was she? She never asked you these things.

"Well she didn't need a map." You joked in an attempt to hide your confusion at her newfound curiosity in your sex life. Wanda didn't smile at your words, appearing lost in thought "Why?" You asked curiously.

"Don't you ever get attached? Develop feelings?" She asked, apparently ignoring my own question as she found interest in the pillow you were leaning on.

You could have burst into laughter at her question. You could have just blurted out "that would be kind of hard when I'm already head over heels for you", but you didn't.

"No. I don't see them after." You said, finding an interest in Wanda's pillow too.

The brunette fell quiet, apparently not having anything to say to that, not wanting the rare topic to end you continued.

"Have you been thinking about it lately?" You asked, afraid you were too blunt.

"Yes." She replied clearly. You hesitated for a moment before continuing.

"You want to hook up with someone?"

"Yes- no! I..." She sounded slightly panicked at first, but after a moment her voice dropped and shifted to a undeniably sad tone. Almost hopeless.

"What's stopping you?" You asked gently.

"I just...I don't want it to be with some random stranger." That was understandable. Lot of people felt the same way. Sex could be such a personal and sacred thing to people, something that's held close to their hearts and is purely an act of intimacy. You always thought that was beautiful and whished you coukd experience that. "I want it to be with someone I know... someone I trust and... someone I love." She finally looked up at you again as she breathed out slowly. "The person that I love."

She's in love? It was the only thing you could think. You wanted so desperately to ask who. For how long? When did it start? Why didn't she tell you?

"Who?" You asked. Your voice almost a whisper because you didn't want to risk Wanda hearing it break as you fought back tears.

"You." She replied at the same volume. You froze. Not believing what she said. This was completely uncharted territory for you. You didn't know what you were meant to do. So you did the only thing you knew how to do right. You kissed her.

Your hand cupped her cheek gently as your face became closer to hers, letting her know what you were about to do. She didn't object, instead she closed the distance between you.

Her lips were softer than they looked and felt perfect against your own. It was instantly addicting so you brought your other hand up to cup her other cheek and rolled over so you were partly ontop of her, never once disconnecting your lips.

You kissed her eagerly and longingly in hopes she understood that you had the same feelings for her. You had years of built up feelings to make up for, you were going to make it worth it if it was the last thing you did.

Wanda wrapped her hands around your neck and laced her fingers together as she pulled you towards her more. You happily let her do so and occasionally paused the kiss to let you breathe before going back to her.

You moved your legs so they were straddling Wanda's waist and you could be in the most comfortable position, the very concept of it giving you chills.

Bravely, you swiped your tongue across her lower lip to ask for permission. Although Wanda seemingly didn't understand what you were silently asking for, something that made you smile.

So you gently bit down on her lower lip, causing her to gasp out and moan. You made a mental note of how she responded to slight pain.

You slipped your tongue into her mouth and moaned as you explored it. It was like you needed to memorize every inch of her in case you could never do this again. You needed to treasure the moment and show Wanda just how much you cared.

"I love you too." You finally spoke. You could hear and feel her breath become shaky in nerves and it made you want to hold her close and comfort her forever.

"Show me." She whispered and you smiled.

You kissed her lips again briefly before switching your attention to her jaw. Your hands wandered down to the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head before throwing it across the room.

Your mouth almost fell to the floor when you realised she wasn't wearing a bra, forgetting you had both changed into pjs. It was dark in the room and you hadn't thought about that fact.

You slowly started to kiss down her neck, along her collarbone and finally planted butterfly kisses on her breasts. You heard Wanda gasp out at the motion and softly moan when you took her left nipple into your mouth.

Softly sucking on the bud gently, you pinched the other then switched, ensuring you gave them equal attention but eventually you felt Wanda push your head lower.

You smirked against her chest and oblidged to her clear wishes by kissing lower down her stomach and hooking your fingers under her waistband.

You pulled the fabric down slowly and kissed every inch of exposed skin before throwing the material to join her top.

Then you softly bit down on small patches of her skin and sucking on them softly to leave small marks along her thighs until Wanda grew impatient with you, groaning at what she thought was teasing rather than you cherishing the moment, you would be sure to clear that up layer.

You pulled her panties down and took a moment to beautiful sight before you and heavenly scent that had your scenes on overdrive. You smiled and instantly flickered your tongue against her clit.

She moaned out in surprise and pleasure, closing her eyes and putting her head back into the pillows as she laced her fingers through your hair.

You took two fingers and stroked them along her folds, smirking when you felt how wet she was against your fingers and relishing under the fact it was a result of your actions.

You moved away from her core to look up at her as you licked her juices off of your fingers with a proud smirk.

She stared down at you with lust in her eyes that made her even more beautiful.

Your mouth returned to her but this time sucked on her outer folds that were also soaked with her juices. You moaned into her when her arousal hit your taste buds again and dipped your tongue into her folds.

You dipped your tongue in further and heard her moan out your name, a sound that made your stomach flip. You took this as encouragement and started thrusting your tongue into her at a faster pace and rubbed your thumb in tight circles against her clit.

Wanda gripped your hair tightly as she moaned out more, her legs wrapping around your head perfectly to keep it securely in place as they began to shake.

Her breathing became fast and shallow as her grip on your hair tightened.

You rubbed harder and thrust your tongue faster until you felt a warm, sweet liquid against your tongue and Wanda screaming out in pleasure.

You looked up at her through hooded eyes as you eagerly licked up the cum she had spilt and moaned at the taste of it, instantly planning to taste it again at some point.

She looked so beautiful blissed out, more tender than you had ever seen her.

You leaned up and kissed Wanda passionalty as she did the same. You knew she could taste herself on your lips as you felt her smile against you at that fact.

"Now let me." Wanda whispered, her hand caressing your bare thigh that wasn't covered by your loose shorts.

"Wanda you don't ha-" Wanda silenced you by placing a slim finger over your lips.

"I want to. I want to make you feel good." She whispered again and pulled you closer by the back of your neck to bring you on for another kiss.

You leaned forward and kissed her passionately, not believing how soft her lips were and how perfect they felt against your own, fitting together perfectly.

She pulled you closer before rolling you over in a playful way that made you smile as she lay ontop of you. She kissed a path down you jaw and neck as her fingers continued to tease your thighs.

Her hand then came up to your waistband, momentarily tracing your hipbones, before slipping beneath the fabric of you shorts and panties.

You gasped out as fingers ghosted over your clit then adventures further to your folds.

Her fingers swiped through your folds a couple of times to gather your wetness on her fingers before slipping inside of you.

You moaned heavily at the feeling as Wanda sighed at the feel of your wet pussy around her fingers.

Her fingers extended fully inside you before retreating only to return again faster. You moaned as Wanda memorized every inch of your core and how it felt around her as she fingered you with earnest.

As her pace increased Wanda's free hand landed on your waist, holding your bodies close together as she leant in to kiss you again.

You eagerly complied as her fingers curled to hit an amazing nerve ending that had you clinging to Wanda's back and moaning the loudest.

"Wan..." You chanted breathlessly.

You squeezed your walls around Wanda's fingers as you approached your high. She took this with a new vigour and rubbed your clit firmly with her thumb, causing you to cum with a cry of her name.

She continued to lay ontop of you while you got your breath back, smiling down at you lovingly.

As she sat up slightly you were reminded of just how naked she was, and how she was right ontop of you. You were aching to feel your bare skin against hers.

You placed your hands on her waist and gently pulled her down onto her back as you sat up and grinned at her and the thoughts playing in your mind.

Wanda smiled back at you as she watched you quickly discard your shirt before pulling off your shorts and panties in one.

She bit her lip at the sight of you completely bare to her but you didn't give her a chance to stare as you were already pushing her legs apart and laying between them as you cupped her face.

"I wanna try something." You whispered, as though the experience was a secret that you two would share forever and guard with your lives. She nodded up at you, keeping eye contact as you lifted her left leg up and spread her other leg further apart, giving you the best access to her still glistening folds.

You could hear your steady breathing as you positioned yourself accordingly so your pussy hovered above Wanda's. You lowered yourself slowly and you both moaned at the contact and friction that was instantly created.

Wanda bucked her hips up when your clit glided over hers and your slick came together to help your movements.

You tried not to get too caught up in the pleasure at first, needing to be able to concentrate your attention on Wanda and the best movements.

You soon fell into the right rhythm, your breathy moans filled the room as you allowed yourself to fall flat against Wanda and kiss her deeply.

You hips rotated perfectly, yours and Wanda's folds glided over one another in was a blissful way you had never experienced.

The movements were making the pair of you breathe faster so you abandoned the kiss to place your forehead against Wanda's as your movements became more erratic.

You didn't want to cum until Wanda did, but the familiar coil in your lower stomach was becoming to tighten.

"Y/n!" Wanda moaned as her hips continued to buck against your own. The movements threw you off at first but your hips soon collided into one frantic movement.

You grinded your pussys together with vigour as you both chased your release with desperation, your combined wetness making the most lewd sound echo throughout the room and amplifying both of your arousals.

With one hard thrust of your hips you both came with a loud moan, clinging to each other and foreheads still connected as you rode out your high together, your hips twitching slightly until you eventually fell down beside Wanda, both of you still swimming in pleasure.

"Wow." Wanda barely managed to speak, exhaustion written into her voice.

"I love you." You muttered as you placed your fingers together.

"I love you too." Wanda smiled tiredly as she gave your hand a loving squeeze.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff smut #scarlett witch #elizabeth olsen

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