#love ourselves some angsty boi

[zenopic]

#love ourselves some angsty boi #sephiroth #ffvii #procreate #still experimenting with brushes #found a few I like #not quite sure about the colours but I give up #found out Procreate has a auto-timelapse features #obsessed #save me from myself #it also has a stroke counter #7810 strokes in 9h #i am slow af when the colouring phase starts #why does the photo export from procreate look like shit? #the colours are not as vibrant compared to pre-export #fanart #digital art #ffvii remake #artists on tumblr #progress video

[kkongdakz]

“ TOO PERFECT. ” ft. sung hanbin

hanbin x gn!reader, genre : fluff, warning : mostly fluff & comfort, warnings : a little angsty, reader is head over heels for hanbin, wc : 3k>

it was pitch-dark when hanbin walked through the door of your apartment, shedding his shoes with lightning speed before camouflaging himself in your arms. his face plunged into your neck, while your hand instantly found the nape of his neck, undertaking to caress his skin delicately. your second hand reached up to his back, moving up and down in a comforting gesture — and him seemed to relax somewhat under your fingertips. a long sigh left his lips and a shiver ran down your spine as his breath tickled the sensitive skin of your collarbones. hoping he hadn't noticed, you laid your cheek against his head, whispering not far from his ear, « let's make ourselves comfortable on the couch, okay? »

hanbin nodded and moved slightly away from you, but never letting you see his face. he looked so desperate — so you slipped your hand into his, your fingertips simply holding his while guiding him into your living room. settling yourself on the sofa, you guided your best friend to slide against you, between your legs, his chest pressed against yours. little do you know, he put his ear to your chest to be able to hear your heartbeat. his arms slipped around you, while one of your hands was lost in his brown locks. « so.. what happened? » you finally ask, a little curious to see him so dejected after a date that seemed very important to him in the first place.

let's get this story started : you've known hanbin for as long as you can remember, and you've never been apart since. only small downside : you fell deeply in love with him in high school, while he stayed in the friend side. you don't really know if he's ever seen you as a potential future love interest, but if he had, he'd always hidden it extremely well. deep down, a little piece of your heart was broken to see him trying dating someone other than you, but you felt lucky to have a boy like him always by your side. he was such a caring, well-mannered, helpful, adorable, gallant, attentive boy.. it was hard not to get butterflies in your stomach when you rubbed shoulders with such a living green flag. then yes, your feelings for him hadn't changed a bit, but you'd much rather keep him around as a friend than not have him at all.

so today, lying in your living room's sofa with him glued to you, you were ready to listen and learn why this date seemed to have gone so badly. « in the beginning, everything was fine, » he started, but you couldn't help drowning in his honeyed voice, « i took her to that restaurant i told you about, then we went for a walk in a pretty park where there was some good music, everything was going really well, i hold her hand and we talked about everything for a long time. »

how you wished you were in that girl's shoes — of course, you had already spent similar evenings with hanbin, but she had something you didn't : hanbin's love interest in her. nodding even though you knew he couldn't see you, your second hand reached up to the curve of his jaw, tracing it with the tip of your index finger. then hanbin resumed his story, « but suddenly, she wanted us to sit on a bench and have a serious conversation. »

« i was a little worried but kind of happy because i told myself she wanted us to put a word in about our relationship.. » his voice seemed to change completely, shifting from his naturally warm voice to a more defeatist tone — and you didn't like it. « what did she tell you? » you asked, frowning. your hand tenderly stroked his cheek, tilting your head to the side to try and catch a glimpse of hanbin's face. but the only thing you could see was the tip of his slightly reddened nose.

« she said she was sorry, » he declared with an umpteenth sigh, his words choking on his breath, « but that she didn't think we could go on together. »

you could feel his grip around you tighten, and his fingers mechanically grasp the sweatshirt you were wearing (which was his, by the way). and before you can retort, he continued his story with words you never thought you'd hear in your life, « because she thought i was too perfect. »

you felt like you'd just tumbled down the stairs of a 7-storey building. too perfect? that was the dumbest excuse you've ever heard. you thought you were dreaming, that it was just a bad joke on his part, but the silence that followed proved that this was the unvarnished truth. a nervous laugh left your lips, still stunned by such a senseless revelation — « you must be kidding me, right? » you finally say, your hand ceasing all movement in his hair and the tone of your voice slightly more annoyed than expected.

but hanbin nodded negatively, rising higher above you to hide his face in the hollow of your neck. his lips resting innocently on your skin sent another uncontrollable shiver through your body, and you prayed inwardly that he wouldn't feel the crescendo rhythm of your heartbeat. biting your lip to stop you swearing at that stupid girl, hanbin's voice again invaded your personal space, stoking the rage boiling in your blood.

« unfortunately, no. she was dead serious, » he whispered, his breath escaping over your shoulder, hovering over your left collarbone, « she explained that she was afraid she'd soon tire of me if i was always so helpful and attentive. »

you still couldn't believe your ears. hanbin had all the criteria of the perfect boyfriend, and that's what made him so attractive and irresistible. he was a gentleman, who took care of everything around him, always looking out for everyone but himself. he remembered the smallest details about each person he liked, he knew his friends and family's tastes and colors like the back of his hand, he had that reassuring voice that lulls you to sleep at night and comforts you during the day, he had this warm, protective hand capable of erasing every insecurity. but above all, he had that perfect bright smile that could make anyone happy at a glance.

obviously, you didn't think that way just because he shook your every feeling, every second of your life. but you were simply stating the facts after years of being friend with him. hanbin was everything that was pure, healthy and desired in a relationship. but this girl was too stupid to realize what a gem she'd just let slip through her fingers.

and it pissed you off.

« sung hanbin, look at me. » you say suddenly. when he barely had time to leave the warmth of your neck, your two hands cupped his face, holding his face in place in front of yours. he was so close you could feel his breath brush your lips, but you had to stay focused and find the right words to reassure his lost heart and question-ridden mind.

but how could you stay focused when the love of your life was this close to you, and looked so stunning despite his glassy eyes?

you couldn't speak for a long three minutes, your gaze wandering over every detail of his skin that you had already memorized. every curve, every mole, every feature of his face was flawless. your thumb unconsciously moved across his cheek, causing him to juggle his gaze from one eye to another — thanks to this, you could see the hazel glow of his pupils. « who could refuse anything to such a pretty face..? » you murmured in an inaudible sigh, only to yourself — unaware that your words had reached hanbin's ears innocently. deep down, you sincerely hoped that your words were just a figment of your imagination, without suspecting for a second the gentle warmth that was seeping into the heart of the boy in front of you right after. your heart stopped beating for a microsecond, when your eyes gazed innocently into his, and you lost all sense of time.

it was as if everything had frozen, and the only thing able to move was him and you, and your two beating hearts. you knew he was patiently awaiting your next words, but the latter were stuck in the back of your throat, as if an invisible force were trying to silence you forever. you finally open your mouth, attempting some sort of speech — but suddenly the butterflies in your body lodged themselves in your mind and made you forget all about the lexical field of comfort. all you could think about was him, the perfect curve of his lips and the hazel glint in his pretty doe eyes.

you fought your inner demons to keep the uncontrollable effect he had on you under wraps, not wanting to risk taking a single wrong step. biting your lower lip, you finally decided to try and regain your composure, because despite the mad desire to let your feelings invade space and time, your current role was to comfort your best friend who thought there was something wrong with the perfect person he was.

« don't dare think even a hint of negativity about you, » you began, softly, in a whisper so as not to let the tremor in your voice be heard, « you're the best person i've ever known in this world, and i don't say that because you're the most important person to me, but because it's the only true truth. »

« your parents made you the most perfect being in this universe, there's nothing wrong with your personality. » hanbin seemed immersed in your words, as if they were all that mattered right now, and you could feel his skin warming slightly under your fingers placed delicately on his cheeks. « that random girl don't want to be with you because you're too perfect? it's okay, someone else will love you fully instead. »

« you're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you, » your eyes gazed into his, as if you were trying to overcome and fight every bad thought stuck in hanbin's mind right now, « you'll end up finding the person who'll fall in love with you, and won't be afraid to love every green flag that makes up your personality. »

hanbin felt his heart explode in his chest, as he concentrated not only on your every word, but also your heart pounding next to his. he couldn't speak, he didn't know what to say — it was as if you'd invaded his thoughts and stolen his words. he'd forgotten about the crappy date he'd had a few hours earlier, and was trying to convince himself that telling you now that you were everything he wanted, was a bad idea.

but that bright gleam in your eyes made him realize that it was you who ran through his mind every day and night, over and over again. it may have been a cliché, but his heart felt fulfilled only in your presence. you soothed his every woe without realizing it, helping him to always look on the bright side of life, you were synonymous with stability, happiness and reassurance for him.

his grip around your waist tightened, unconsciously, without your noticing. you just let him do as he pleased, your hands still clinging tenderly to his face. you looked deep into his eyes, looking for the slightest sign of any negative thought still present — but he seemed lost in the sincerity of your eyes to think of anything else.

« you are such a perfect little arrangement of atoms. » — he could hear the smile on your lips as the words left your mouth, as his pupils juggled from one eye to the other once again. it was probably the nicest thing he'd heard in a long time, and the simple fact that it came from you filled him with joy. trying as you might to lean a little closer to him, you placed a light kiss on the top of his cheekbone. it was like an angel's kiss, soft and light, but as warm as a ray of sunshine, filled with a cloud of kindness and love beyond compare — hanbin could feel the tips of his ears heating up furiously at the same time his heart began to accelerate in his chest.

« you deserve someone who loves every little things about you. » while you simply tried to reassure him, remaining focused on his perfect face that almost made your head spin, hanbin again seemed lost in thought. you unhooked one of your hands from his cheeks to put the messy strands of his hair back in place, paying no attention to the deviation of his gaze from your attentive beloved eyes, to your rosy lips painted with a smile. hanbin thought he was going crazy, thinking about kissing you at a time like this — but he couldn't help thinking that in the end, disappointment after disappointment, the only person he still had left was you. and everything seemed so obvious suddenly : his feelings, the effect of your hands on his skin, the sound of your laughter that turned his heart upside down, your comforting voice that he wanted to hear every night before going to sleep. all this time, the only person he really loved and wanted was you.

but the constant fear of losing you and spoiling what was already there between you two, crackled unceasingly in his mind. what idiocy, he thought, knowing that despite everything, he couldn't live without you. you were his ride or die, you'd been with him every step of the way, and this was certainly not the end of your beautiful story. that the story continues as a passionate love story to make romance novels green with envy, or as an unconditional friendship that will never fade, you'll end up by his side until your last breath.

as he found your eyes again with his own, he observed them for a long time without saying anything. trying to remain calm despite the distressing perfection of his face close to yours, you let go of the lock of hair caught between your fingers to find his cheek again. but before you could put it back in place, it was captured by the boy's, who slowly interlaced your fingers with his own. you didn't know what to do, you panicked slightly inside : it wasn't the first time he'd held your hand, nor the first time he'd looked at you that way, but it was the first time his gesture had seemed so natural.

you could feel his heartbeat beating in unison with yours against your chest, and his thumb, which began to caress your skin, didn't help to calm your desilusory ideas. « i need someone like you. » he said suddenly, with a sigh, like a secret that only you had the right to hear. but it wasn't enough, it wasn't what you wanted to hear : you wanted him to want only you.

then you drew your face to his, slowly, and tenderly, you placed a kiss on the corner of his lips. an innocent kiss, as light as a cloud, so sweet he seemed to dream — but it was real, and now he knew. he knew that only you could love every part of him, every fiber of his body, every feature of his personality. you were the only one who could fulfill him, make him happy, make him in love, hopelessly in love.

so he decided to be bold, and look into your eyes — into the depths of your eyes, and say those words that ricocheted in your little head. « no, » he said more firmly, as if he was one hundred percent sure of what he was about to say, « i need you. just you. you're all i've ever needed. »

a storm erupted inside you, as you contained all the euphoria that had just exploded in your body, invading every muscle in it. everything you ever wanted was in your hands — and the indescribable love you had suddenly seemed reciprocal. but something wasn't right for you : your more mature thoughts whispered to you that it wasn't what you wanted. so you bit your lower lip, almost regretting having a brain at the very moment when everything you'd ever wanted was being handed to you on a silver platter. but you had to be sure of one thing.

« i don't want you to need me, » you replied, a kind, almost sad smile creeping across your lips, « i want you to love me. » — but that's all it took for hanbin react, and realize that he had to prove his words. and his love for you.

so even though his evening had begun with a monumental fiasco of a date he didn't even want in the first place, he decided to end his night by proving to you, in a princely kiss, that all the love crackling in his heart was destined to you.

you couldn't describe how you felt when his lips mingled with yours — it was far too powerful to explain in words. you'd been dreaming for years of being able to try out kissing the person you considered your soulmate, tasting the taste of their love, feel his heart resonate in yours, the warmth of his touch burn your skin with a delicate heat. it was just as you had imagined : as precious as a diamond, as pleasant as a gift, as melting as chocolate, as soft as cotton, accompanied by a powerful love that surpassed all your imagination. your heart could have stopped at any moment, its beat ready to explode in your chest — he had found that one heart that would beat at its side for many years to come. and you'd just found the perfect arrangement of atoms that could invade yours without restraint.

after a few passionate kisses, a few words of love and a few overwhelming proof, you once again found yourself lost in the warm sincerity of hanbin's eyes and the undeniable beauty of his tender smile. in the end, you had finally tasted the exquisite pleasure of winning the benevolent heart of the boy for whom you could give everything — and the reward for your legendary patience was considerable. hanbin was yours, completely yours now.

maybe hanbin was too perfect for her, but for you, he was just the right dose of perfect.

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[rwrbficrecs]

Readers' Choice Rec List Part 1 of 7

To celebrate 500 followers we thought we'd do a special rec list featuring recs submitted by all of you, the readers ❤️ Though at the time of posting this, we're at 800+ followers 🥺 From the volunteers and I, thank you for supporting this blog. We hope it's been a helpful resource! Hope you enjoy these recs, with a little comment from the reader. Thank you to everyone who submitted a fic rec 🥰 I'll be posting a list everyday till all 7 parts are posted Go and leave these authors some love ❤️ Happy Reading! Theme: A fic that you’d like to celebrate and give some love to ❤️ the poem you make of me by @omgcmere

@celaestis1: Just as they speculate under the linden tree, Henry is a writer; Alex a model. The story is just so beautiful, sweet and smutty and funny.

Omakase by @orchidscript

@historicallysam: Orchid made me fall in love with a brash American who wants respect and a stoic Brit who wants to be himself. I could read this story every single day.

We'll Invite Something In by @smc-27

@historicallysam: President ACD & HRH Prince Henry, grown up and willing to work for what they want. It's one of my top two favorite stories in this fandom.

Spoke Love to Soul by @celaestis1

@emmalostinwonderland: The story is gripping, the characters are compelling, and the myth they chose is really under-appreciated. I rode the entire rollercoaster of emotions with this one, and I would gladly do it again.

cover to cover by Anonymous

anon: The characters' voices are amazing and the narration is just super sweet! A feel-good fic for anyone craving a good intimate time.

On Thin Ice by @pirates-against-heterosexuality (WIP)

anon: A really sweet, in progress, NHL AU. It's in progress but It's really enjoyable so far, especially as it draws a lot of similarities to book moments, without being a copy.

Heartaches and Cupcakes and Sunshine Boys by @everwitch-magiks

anon: This was the first RWRB fic I read, and it's still my favorite! Henry as a writer (and her skill writing as Henry) and the emotional depth of this fic are things I need in every fic!

love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves by @kapplebougher

anon: I am simply OBSESSED with this oneshot, I scream about it to anybody that will listen. I come back and read it every time I read the climax of Alex and Henry's argument in London. It is Henry POV and the first time I read it I truly wondered if it was CMQ writing Henry fic on AO3. Not only does it build on the signet ring and give background on what it means to Henry and parallels it with his parents, but it also weaves fire/water symbolism for Alex/Henry. The thing that gets me is the quote at the end though. It's just like the queer historical quotes from the emails in the books and it makes the ending SO PERFECT it just makes me go feral. I wish I could give it all the kudos!

Picture On Your Corkboard by bleedingballroomfloor

anon: absolutely beautiful and a roller coaster of emotions. 100% recommended.

religion's in your lips (even if it's a false god) by @coffeecatsme

anon: NSFW but also incredibly good and i need everyone to appreciate billie's writing!!!

Someday We Will Be Home by witchseeker1133

anon: this fic is incredibly special to me bc it was one of the first ones i read. it is very angsty but i think its worth a read.

#readers choice #rwrb fic recs #red white and royal blue #firstprince

[dcmainlybillythoughts]

What are your favorite billy boy fics (im desperate okay, I've combed so throughly through the billy tag I somehow ended up in sonic the hedgehog and Tails fics)

Honestly, they should really warn people about the Billy Batson to Sonic pipeline.

I'm actually honored you're asking me so let me compile this list together real fast. Links were deciding to fight me so apologies for not having links.

Marvelous by Gage39

If what you're looking for is some team bonding with a couple hints of angsty misunderstandings, this is your story. I don't remember a whole lot of details since it's been a while, but all and all great fic that I'm probably gonna reread after I post this.

No Sense by IAmStoryTeller

An excellent team bonding fic between Billy and Damian who are forced to get along in an unknown world to ensure their survival. I don't have as much to say about this fic but I still love it nonetheless.

No One is Going to Believe You and Statute of Limitations by Oka_Hills1232

These two can be read together or separate. They're just silly fics of Billy using his age to mess with everyone around him but I still really enjoy them.

Frozen Peas by RoseGauymede95

This fic hits you with the feels as it goes into the dynamics formed between the two movies. It shows how much a family can care for one another, especially when they all have trauma.

pyrrhic victory by Zannolin

My all time favorite Fury of the Gods fic. The last scene of that movie tore me apart and this fic did it even more beautifully. Can you tell I'm a sucker for angst yet?

Is Captain Marvel a Cat? by AHudde (orphan account)

Another funny fic that explores Billy's character and how he presents as Captain Marvel. Nothing much to say other than I enjoyed it.

we have nothing to fear but ourselves by suzukiblu

New fic that's currently going but so far it's hit all my bases for a Dad Marvel fic. Honestly there aren't enough Dad Marvel fics. Again, not much for me to say due to how new it is and the fact it only has one chapter so far.

These are just some fics from my bookmarks. I hope some of these are ones you haven't read before. I honestly love fics by @wolfsbanesparks but I didn't list any because I feel like if you're asking me on Tumblr about Billy Batson, you've probably seen a lot of their stuff through their posts. And if you haven't then there's their at.

#billy batson #shazam #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #fic recommendation

[mimiii-3]

heyo, would you be willing to do like a fluffy/angsty thing of jamil, cater, vil, deuce, and maybe silver finding out/reacting to the mc feeling like they don’t deserve to be cared about? <3

-chaos anon (if you’re okie with me being called that <3)

Ooh this is a good request. Chaos Anon it is😈

Twst boys react to an “unworthy” reader

Note/warning: gn reader, low self-esteem, angst + comfort, fluff

. . .

*you and the twst boy have been dating for some time now. For the first time, he says ‘I love you’ and this is how you respond*

You: I don’t know ___. I don’t think I’m very worthy of your love.

. . .

Jamil

• immediately develops a headache

• decides he must not be a very good boyfriend if he never noticed how you were faring in this relationship

• shakes his head and brings you in for a hug

• the hug feels so safe, so warm

• he holds you tight for what feels like hours before he finally lets you go

“Give me a second, my love. I’m thinking of all the ways I can show you just how worthy you are.”

Vil

• the two of you were dancing when this exchange took place

• he abruptly stops and looks down at you incredulously

• what in the world are you on about?

• you deserve his love. Every single bit of it. He knows this for sure

• clears his throat and resumes your dance

• looks down at you with the most love-filled gaze you’ve ever seen

“I did not know that you felt this way. It seems that I am the only one capable of loving you the way that you deserve.”

Cater

• unfortunately, he understands how you feel

• has always deemed himself unworthy of you. Even your mere presence was too glorious for someone like him to enjoy

• it’s bittersweet knowing his partner is just as broken as he is

• reaches out to gently grasp your hand

• his thumb rubs slow circles as he hums, thinking of how to respond

“It’s okay. We can learn to love ourselves together. Then you can decide whether or not you’re worthy of my love. How does that sound?”

Silver

• stands there in an uncomfortably long silence

• he looks deep in thought before he lets out a sigh

• he stares into your eyes like he’s trying to take a peak at your soul to determine if you really think about yourself this way

• worries that he has accidentally neglected you and your feelings

• gently brushes the back of his hand against your cheek

“Please be gentle with yourself. For my sake.”

Deuce

• had finally gathered the courage to say ‘i love you’ and now he’s just crushed

• starts to doubt himself

• ‘am I a bad boyfriend? Am i not affectionate enough? Am I not loving enough?’

• low key angry that you would say something so mean about yourself

• wants to beat up that evil little voice in your head that deemed you unworthy

“Don’t play with me! I can fight your inner demons and love you at the same time!”

#twisted wonderland #headcanon #twst headcanons #fanfic #fanfiction #twst vil #vil schoenheit #twst deuce #deuce spade #twst cater #cater diamond #twst silver #twst jamil #jamil viper

[saintobio]

Omg ok ok hello! I had this huge rant in my head about sy and sn so pls feel free to ignore it, but I love your writing so much and it gives me some STRONG FEELINGS. First of all it surprised me that I like the way you write y/n cuz she doesn't become a "bitch" after the whole deal with Gojo and have some elaborate revenge plan, but she is also not a goody two shoes (even if she stayed with Gojo earlier but she had a lot of external pressure to stay in the marriage). Not that those tropes are necessarily bad but it's just more realistic this way. She's just a person who has been deeply hurt and is trying to do right by others. Even if she has made big mistakes, she still wants to make up for them cuz she's not completely in the right either. Also getting bashed by everyone for trying to make amends/ not following their advice regarding you own life; while very triggering for me (lol) is also just such a natural reaction. Not right, just natural. When things get out of people's hands and they want to blame someone for it, they often go for the one who is actually trying and won't retaliate if for nothing than to just keep the peace. Also wanting people to understand your side of the situation yet feeling undeserving of it at the same time because of your mistakes is UGHHH I feel like you do that so well! It's amazing but genuinely heartbreaking to see how far Satoru has come as a person too. Also when he thinks about how he wants to be a better person for Akemi IT MADE ME WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL... cuz WHY COULDN'T HE BE LIKE THAT FOR US!!! At the same time we have moved on without him, so if we are allowed that luxury then why isn't he? It's just so ANGSTY AND SO SO GOOD! Because we love Satoru we always will but he had a chance and he fricked it over terribly! So it would be idiotic to go back to him but at the same time the heart yearns for him. This is a side tangent but whenever any character says "this is not like you", "you have changed, this isn't how you'd act" makes me so MAD lol (maybe bc I am triggered?) But these guys WATCHED MY GIRL GO THROUGH SOME HORRIFIC SHIT AND STILL EXPECT HER TO NOT BE PERMANANTLY AND IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED???!! ;-;; IDK what they want from her oof >.< I do think Akemi is a shitty friend but I can't bring myself to hate her completely. Seeing them together is so ANGER INDUCING AAAAA (and her wanting a family with him is fine BUT THIS EARLY?!JUST AFTER ADMITTING YOU FEEL "SORRY" FOR BETRAYING US?! IT MAKES ME WANNA HURL HER TRHOUGH CONCRETE) but at the same time Satoru and Akemi both deserve someone who can love them. It feels hypocritical to be angry when we ourselves told him to move on and find someone who can love him the way he deserves. It's just very very shitty it had to be them. Sera is also such an interesting character. She has a lot of traits that I admire a lot. Her resourcefulness and complete and utter pride/confidence and being unashamed to ask for things/ stand up for herself (even when she is wrong) is something I wish I had sometimes. Still wanna stick her head through a toilet tho and yet when a person who slept with a married man can see the bloody violation of girls' code that is sleeping with your bff's EX HUSBAND oh BOY you should KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. I have no strong feelings for Toji (cuz I don't like him much anyways but that's just personal bias XD )but I do think his anger and frustration is well founded especially since he runs over whenever the reader needs him. He's so supportive and invested and honestly he deserves someone who can give that back to him. It's kinda sad but then again I don't like him much to begin with lol.

OH AND THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER IS SOOOOO PAINFUL. To always be the second choice even for YOUR SON OHHH MAN I'D RATHER YOU PUT A KNIFE THROUGH MY HEART ;-;

All in all I hate how much I love this series and love to hate these characters and take out my repressed anger on them cuz I can't do that irl. This series is my Roman Empire lol. It's so painful, yet so beautiful and it makes you FEEL so many things and yet hold out hope for things to become better. I love this, love you and your writing- ok mwah bye bye (and thank you if you read this rant put together by my post nap, barely coherent brain) I have so much more that I want to say. I can write essays about this series and how it uses so many technically "cliche" tropes but it is anything but cliche . Truly some of the best angst I have read like ever!

oh wow !! i don’t even know what to say, this feels like such a comprehensive review of the sy series sdksks but i think many readers could definitely relate with some of ur points here :D this is such a nice perspective to read, thank you so much for sharing and tysm for reading sn/sy aaaaa i’m happy u enjoy the angst as much as i do <3

#🖤: letters to saint #series: sincerely yours

[obetrolncocktails]

Worry | Josh Kiszka X Reader

Warnings: Imposter syndrome, general insecurities, fluffy ending!

Word Count: 3.3K

A/N: I wrote most of this a few months ago after a televised charity event that GVF performed at, but I can't remember which one it was right now...I just remember the vibes being weird, and them not handing out roses, but they sounded incredible...so it kinda inspired me to write some angsty/sad stuff...don't worry, though. It ends on a good note.

Summary: An off-performance has pulled Josh into a depressive mood, and you're not sure what happened until you read his words off of the pages of his journal.

What if in the end, there’s no hands to reach for the white roses every night? No one singing our songs? Not a single tear shed from the meaningful experiences that tie us so close but so far from one another?

What if the stage lights dim and we wake up asking ourselves, ‘Where do we go from here?’

When will we know that we’ve stepped onto the final stage, and what will be the final utterance of those anthems that were once so intrinsically embedded within us? 

I fear…I fear that one day…

I fear that one day we will walk away, having spilled those last drops of determination for a door that ends up closing anyway. 

I never want to wake up to a day without you singing my songs back to me, your hands reaching out to me just to say, “I appreciate you–I love you–and we’re in this together…” 

It’s a painful burden that I carry…to even think about the possibility of it. But still, after performances like tonight’s, I just can’t help it. 

***

“Baby, you can’t sleep in all day. It’s literally almost one o’clock,” you whined, rolling over to rock Josh out of his seemingly impenetrable slumber. 

“Arggggh,” he grumbled, turning his body away from you, rolling back into the warmth of the comforter and pillows. “Five more minutes,” he mumbled. 

You should and would have been annoyed, but something in you softened, his body somehow beckoning for you. You crawled into bed beside him and wrapped your arms around his, leaning in to kiss his bare shoulder. You didn’t speak because you felt like you didn’t need to. One of his hands moved to drape over yours, squeezing your fingers lovingly. His head tilted slightly and he opened his eyes to groggily look at you. The sleep in his gaze, matched with the unkempt state of his hair made him look devastatingly beautiful in the natural light of the room. His amber eyes flooded into yours, and though he hadn’t smiled yet, you could see the love expressed through them. 

“Good morning, baby,” you said softly. 

“Afternoon,” he corrected, rolling over on his back and pulling you into his embrace to lay your head on his exposed chest. You laid there for a few drawn-out moments, listening to his heartbeat and feeling the warmth of his skin against your face. You enjoyed the tickle as his fingers ran through the length of your hair. He was particularly quiet today and you took notice, though you didn’t comment on it. 

“Usually you’re not such a late sleeper,” you spoke, looking up at him. You watched him as he stared straight ahead. You could tell that he was already so deep in thought when you spoke. 

“Hmm? Oh, well–just had to work the crowd a bit extra last night,” he said evasively. You knew he wasn’t telling the complete truth because he didn’t look you in the eye when he spoke–something he was usually very good at…He was far away today, and you weren’t sure why. You had mentioned going to the show last night to see them, but you had also made the trip to see the boys in three of their previous consecutive dates on tour. 

“It’s just for charity. We’re making an appearance–performing a quick set this time, shouldn’t be a big deal,” he had said as he sipped on his throat coat tea. “I know you’d prefer some time by yourself, baby.” He seemed nonchalant about the performance, but nonetheless excited to put on a show like any other day. 

“Are you sure?” You asked him again. You loved watching him and the boys perform. The charisma and talent was there every single night to a degree that left you constantly astonished at their endurance. It had to be tiring, but for Josh–he never seemed to let it wear him down. Yes, he had dealt with several health issues in the past, but he moved forward despite them, choosing to dismiss them as one of the sacrifices of being a touring band. It didn’t help considering how long the band had been touring over the last year. 

Today, however, he seemed especially distant–worryingly so. 

“I’m gonna go shower,” he said quietly, rolling out of bed and sauntering across the room. 

“Want me to join?” You asked with a hopeful tone, offering him a soft smile. 

“Oh, I won’t be in there long, baby. Just a quick shower. Love you,” he said, denying your offer. He leaned over the bed and pecked your lips quickly before turning and walking into the bathroom. 

You watched him turn and start the shower, and swallowed down the disappointment. 

Your eyes scanned the hotel room for a long moment, missing the look of his room at home, the comfort of the familiar and cozy space that you both knew so well. You pushed the sheets off of the bed and began to roll off of it, still feeling the warmth of Josh’s side. As you stepped off of the bed, you began to slip. Your eyes flew downward to regain your center of gravity. What the… you thought as you righted yourself, looking down to discover what you had slipped on. Josh’s journal. You bent to reach for it, picking it up, when a piece of paper from the hotel notepad slipped out of the pages and fell to the floor. The piece of paper had been extensively written on and it looked like it had been crumpled and discarded at first. You assumed Josh decided differently and decided to tuck it back into the book. Your eyes flitted up to the bathroom, hearing nothing except the water running and Josh humming a random tune. You didn’t want to invade his privacy, but something about this piece of paper urged you to flip it over and read it anyway. 

You sat at the edge of the bed, absorbing the words he had written on the page. You read them over and over, trying your best not to miss a single word. Anxiety wracked your body, both from the chances of being caught, and from the dense, emotional text. It broke your heart that Josh would even think about the fans not being there. From all of the shows that you had attended, the venues had gotten increasingly larger, the crowds louder and more dedicated–it just didn’t make sense that he would consider these things, let alone write them down. These feelings were very real, and he hadn’t told you about any of it. You gulped down your own feelings and slipped the paper back into the journal, setting it on the bedside table before reaching for your phone. You searched on twitter for any tell-tale signs that would tell you what the problem was. Admittedly, you didn’t watch the livestream last night. When you had told Josh, he had actually seemed relieved that you didn’t. At the time it had perplexed you. Now you wanted to kick yourself for missing it. 

‘Oh shit, let me tell you. I would claw someone’s eyes out for a rose from Josh. I wish he would have given them out,’ one tweet had said. ‘Bro that crowd was dead as fuck. They deserved better,’ another wrote. ‘They looked so upset while they played,’ read the third tweet. That was all you needed to see. You tossed your phone on the bed and got dressed. You and Josh needed to get out of these cramped four walls.

You got dressed within minutes and chose an outfit that Josh loved–a simple, slouchy pullover paired with jeans and boots. He had always told you that you made simple beauty look most exquisite because you didn’t have to try. That was the thing about Josh. He is who he is because of the amount of love that overwhelms his body, mind and soul. He wants nothing but the best for others, and most of the time he portrays the role of the cockeyed optimist. But today, you couldn’t help but watch his sparkle dim through the invisible storm cloud that schlepped above his head and into the shower.  

“Feel better?” you asked softly as he walked into the bedroom with a towel wrapped neatly around his waist. 

He nodded with a gentle smile. “I needed it, I think.” He looked at you. “You look beautiful, baby. Where are you going?” 

“You mean, where are we going?” You said, emphasizing ‘we.’ “We’re going on a walk. Let’s get out here. I’m tired of looking out from ten stories up, and I think you need a change in scenery.” You spoke lightheartedly. You knew he would attempt to stay in, but you wouldn’t let him. 

“Eh, well, I was just thinking about staying in, catching up on reading. I’ve been trying to finish that book for a week, you know,” he said, pinching the hair at the nape of his neck, indicating that though he wasn’t lying, the book wasn’t the reason he wanted to hide. 

“Josh. I am asking you to spend time with me. It’s not often that you have a day off with me, and I can tell you’re upset about something,” you said, stepping closer to him, taking his hand in yours. “Talk to me. A short walk. We don’t have to go to any stores…no cars…not even lunch. Just a walk. You and me,” you said, looking into his eyes, neutralizing your expression. “Please.”

Maybe you were being overbearing. Guilt tugged at you slightly, but you pushed it back down. You didn’t ever want Josh to feel like he needed to retreat emotionally, that he couldn’t speak to you. He hadn’t said much about the concert last night, anyway. So this would give you an opportunity to ask him. Surprisingly, he didn’t argue further. “Okay, let’s go,” he said, offering you a gentle smile that simultaneously filled your heart and broke it at the same time. 

The walk began quietly as you held hands, taking time to watch people and to take in the view of the busy city, watching so many people flit in and out of shops with armfuls of shopping bags. 

“No shopping,” Josh said with a grin, squeezing your hand. 

“I know,” you said, copying his expression. “But you can’t blame me for just looking,” you said, pushing into his shoulder playfully. 

“Can I buy you a coffee?” You asked. “I think we could both use the pick-me-up.”

“I’m buying,” he said. “Me paying it forward for waking up so late.” 

“Alright,” you nodded. “Let’s go.”

Ten minutes later, you both stepped out with fresh drinks in hand, sipping blissfully on the liquid joy. “Worth it. So worth it,” you said, the words falling out in a sing-song flutter. Josh was already well into his beverage, having tipped his nitro cold brew at an almost gulp. 

“I got this while you were waiting for the drinks,” you said, lifting a croissant in the air. 

“Give me some,” he said, reaching for the pastry as you walked together. 

“No, no no. It’s for the geese,” you told him. 

“Geese?” He asked, his brow wrinkling. You couldn’t help but giggle at how his nose crinkled. The way the corner of his lips tilted made your belly flip. 

“Come on, I saw them before we got coffee.” You took his hand and led him into an urban park that served as an oasis away from the honking horns, industrial screech of construction, and shouting people. In the center of the park, there was a rectangular man-made pond installed. There were several benches lining the perimeter. Gaggles of ducks and geese waddled about, taking bread and seeds from passersby. You led the way, walking to an empty bench and sitting down. Josh pulled you lovingly into his arms, something that was so innate, he didn’t even have to think about it. You both sat quietly, tearing pieces off of the croissant and tossing them to the ground, watching the birds peck at them. 

“Can I ask you something?” You asked, breaking the silence as you flung a piece in front of you. He looked up from the ground at you. 

“Sure,” he said, tossing a piece of croissant into his mouth. 

“What happened last night at the concert?” You asked, immediately regretting even mentioning it. He turned rigid as soon as the words left your mouth. 

“Eh, it was just a concert, not that much to report.” 

“Please don’t lie to me,” you said slowly, your voice shrinking quieter and quieter. He stopped talking. His eyes told you what you needed to know. You looked up at him, matching his gaze.

“I saw something that you wrote–this morning, before we left. I shouldn’t have read it, it was personal–” You spoke, adjusting nervously in your seat. He looked like he was going to turn green. You continued. 

“Josh, are you seriously worried about the band because of some stupid charity concert?” 

“You read my journal? Why would you do that?” He asked, his face growing angry before calming slightly. “And It wasn’t a stupid concert. It was for charity,” he corrected pointedly. “But you weren’t there. You don’t know. It was fucking embarrassing.” 

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have read it, and I’m sorry. But what do you mean it was embarrassing. What happened?” You asked, pulling your feet up on the bench to sit cross legged.

“No one sang our songs, no one swayed to light my love…no one even clapped, really.” He tossed more bread to the ground as he spoke. “We didn’t even give the roses away.” 

“What do you mean?” you asked, though you knew very well. 

“I didn’t even pass out roses, Y/n. There was no one to give them to.” 

“Okay, but that was just one concert,” you said, trying your best to be encouraging. “And it wasn’t your show, you know. You weren’t headlining.” 

“You’re not making me feel better, babe,” Josh said, looking over at you with an ironically amused expression. He shrugged before speaking again. “I don’t really know why I feel the way I do. It’s stupid.” 

You placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s not stupid. Not in the slightest. There is so much pressure on all of you to do a great job every single night–and you know what? You’re also human. Did you feel this way the other night in Raleigh?” He shook his head. 

“No, that show was amazing,” he said, softly sniffling, looking ahead of you over the sparkling water. “This one just didn’t feel the same.” He shook his head. 

“You will play thousands and thousands of shows, Josh. Many of them will be strange, some will have technical difficulties, and others? Hell, you might forget the words or I don’t know, bust an ear drum?” You asked with a smirk. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Those were extenuating circumstances.” 

“My point is, you’ve got to shake this one off. You have millions of people out there that depend on your music to speak to them every night when you step on stage. You mean so much to so many people, and one weird show or performance can’t discount that, can it?” 

He shook his head. “No, not really. I just don’t want to disappoint them.” 

“You’ll disappoint them if you stop telling stories. You have a gift, Josh–and I’m not telling you this because I love you. The first thing I noticed about you when I first saw you play was the passion you have for music, and even more so, for your brothers. Jake, Sam, and Danny count on you just as much as you count on them,” you say. He picked at the seam of his pants while he listened. “I have an idea.” 

He looked up at you expectantly. “What?” 

“Why don’t you guys take some time during sound check tomorrow to play with something new? Something you love…literally anything. Take a break from this music for a second. You guys need to jam, you know?” You got up and decided you didn’t care about the way you looked. You began to play the air guitar in front of him. “Sing your favorite songs, right?” His eyes followed you as you pranced around in front of him, mimicking Danny and the way he plays the drums, and you tried your best to copy his expressions. Josh chuckled softly, revealing a row of sparkling teeth. “Sing with me,” you said, stepping forward to pull him off the bench. 

“You’re crazy,” he said, coming to stand beside you. You didn’t stop dancing. You’d do whatever you could to pull the sadness and insecurity from his body, even if it meant embarrassing yourself in public. 

“Not as crazy as you are. You do this every night for a living,” you fired back. He took your hands and danced terribly, his body lurching and tilting in ways that looked far more like interpretive dance. You cackled. Loudly. So loudly, your cheeks filled with warmth, and your gut began to pinch as your belly hitched with laughter. Josh reached for you again, returning to the pathetic dance routine. Eventually you both broke apart breathlessly, having completely forgotten about the rough start to the day. You both relaxed back into the park bench and you pulled yourself into his arms, laying your head against his chest. 

“You’re right,” he said after a long time, looking down at you. You flicked your eyes up to meet his gaze. “That show doesn’t matter, and I honestly feel like I did some of my best singing, too.” His fingers wound loosely through your hair. “It’s just all so precarious, you know?” He asked the question, but really, you didn’t know. You weren’t a musician by trade, you were just a good partner. His partner. “I don’t want us to fade into nothing. That just scares the shit out of me.” 

“Then continue to tell an honest story,” you told him. “You’ll always have someone listening if you remember why you all started this in the first place. It’s because you had and still have something to say. Do you think you’ve run out of stories yet?” You asked him. 

“Not by a long shot,” he answered. 

“Then, maybe it’s time to go back to your roots and write from the heart–introduce something new that feels nostalgic and special at the same time.” 

“I think you’re on to something,” Josh said, adjusting in his seat to cross his arms across his chest. “You know what? After the show tomorrow, I think we all need to get together and just play.” He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I’ve been thinking of some lyrics, so maybe Jake and I could try some melodies and see what works.” You couldn’t hide the smile that spread across your face. 

“And I’ll be there in the corner giggling while you argue with Jake. Maybe Danny will invite me to play minigolf while you two figure it out.” 

“I guess it’s all part of the…creative process.” Josh added with a grin. 

“I can’t wait to see what you come up with,” you told him, taking his hand in yours. 

“Well, we’ve got a while until then. For now, let’s go do something fun,” Josh changed the subject, standing up and taking the lead. “Have it in you to risk your life for a crappy, creaky roller-coaster and a corndog?” You tilted your head, a bit unsure of what he had up his sleeve. 

“Come on, every large coastal city has some type of Coney Island knock-off. Let’s go on an adventure.” His entire mood had shifted to one of optimism and curiosity, and you weren’t about to say no to him. 

“Only if you win me a gigantic plushie.” You said with a bright smile.  

“I'll check another bag on the plane if I have to,” He said, leaning forward to kiss you gently on the lips. 

“Deal,” you agreed happily, returning the kiss against his lips, letting him take the first step forward out of the park.

____

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[callie-the-creator]

angsty aoyama hcs

sfw. warnings: contains spoilers for chapter 336 of the manga.

author’s note: this was inspired by the song ‘promise’ by laufey.

• the thing is……

*cries into pillow*

• who was the one to end things? you. you were, but it was after you found out that aoyama was helping the lov— or league of villains— and causing most of their encounters with u.a. high

— “you are the most selfish boy i have ever met! we’re done!”

• he handled it pretty well, all things considered (he cried himself to sleep for a week straight)

— peter b. parker core honestly :// iykyk

• after being caught, he ofc ended his association with the league of villains, choosing to instead help the heroes defeat all for one, but this doesn’t mean that he was welcomed with open arms at first

— sure, it was a relief that he wasn’t on the villain’s side anymore, but you weren’t ready to immediately forgive him

• luckily, aizawa gave aoyama a second chance, while flat out stating that he has "no intention of expelling him,” so he is still attending the school

• i feel like aoyama would be outside your room, pleading for you to come talk to him. even if it is just for a minute

— he’d get yelled at bakugou to shut up…..let’s be honest with ourselves. 💀 bros trying to get his beauty rest

• it took aoyama weeks to finally be able to talk to you and even then, he was able to catch you outside of your dorm because you wanted to grab a small meal (that you may or may not have forced bakugou to make for you)

— “shit…okay, what do you want now?”

• aoyama, knowing he didn’t have a whole lot of him, began to profusely apologize, saying if there was any way he could atone to you, he would do it in a heartbeat.

— it’s hard for you to come up with any ideas because a lot of your friends were injured the times the villains infiltrated school property

— you don’t want to forgive him and as far as you’re concerned, you don’t love him anymore, so why does your heart burn at the sight of aoyama like this?

• it didn’t take long for some of the other students to slowly gather where you two were

• not liking the attention whatsoever, you set your plate aside and pulled aoyama elsewhere in the building where you two began talking about…well…everything. him, you, the both of you/your relationship, his association with the lov, etc.

— this is when aoyama finally admits that he still loves you and if you’ll have him, he’d love to be given a second chance to be called your boyfriend. but it’s not up to him. it’s your decision.

so…will you take him back or not?

“i’ve done the math. there’s no solution. we’ll never last… why can't i let go of this?”

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hiro akademia #anime #manga #ua high school #ua traitor #mha spoilers #yuga aoyama #aoyama x reader #aoyama imagine #aoyama x you #underrated character #angst #aoyama headcanons #league of villains #this is terrible #shitpost

[coffeeheartaddict2]

When live has other plans (10/16)

Dawn of a new day

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Characters: F!MC Casey Valentine, Ethan Ramsey, Naveen Banerji, June Hirata, Tobias Carrick

Warnings: language, sexual references, mentions of addiction

Word count: 2513

Category: Angst

Rating: Mature

Summary: Ethan discusses with Naveen about his revelations. A long term coma patient wakes up restarting an old rivalry and June decides to go directly to the source to find out the information she desires.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry.

Authors note: who knew that I was capable of starting to set up a happy ending this far out? The next few chapters will have some of the key points of book 2 from canon and the impacts that it has on Ethan and Casey in this world. There are some changes too but all will lead to happy ending. This chapter is actually not too angsty but it does deal with some heady issues.

🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞🌞

Ethan awoke. He had slept better after been shook by his nightmare but he was still out of sorts. He knew he needed to make changes, address the issues that he had but where to begin. He made his coffee and a light breakfast and went to work. He went to the office and started prepping for his day. There was a knock on the door. He was pleasantly surprised to see Naveen.

“Did you not sleep well last night?” Said Naveen as he entered.

“Is it that obvious?”

“This is a purely social visit my boy.” Said Naveen, “I could not help but notice you seemed a little preoccupied yesterday? Is it to do with Casey?” He asked concerned.

“No Naveen, myself and Casey are as ok to be expected, I am hating the pre Miami setting we have found ourselves in, I think she hates it too but that is not the reason.” Said Ethan. He took a steadying breath.

“My dad came to see me the other day. My mother had reached out wanting to see me. I decided to open that box.”

Naveen sat there shocked. Ethan had told him at an earlier time about his mother walking out on him and Alan. He had the distinct impression that he would never speak to her again.

“Why did you reach out?” Asked Naveen, “I always thought that if you saw her again that it would be too soon.”

Ethan runs a hand down his face. “You would be right Naveen but it occurred to me, especially after our last patient that ignoring the past can be detrimental.”

“So how did it go?”

“Disconcerting.”

Naveen looked puzzled. “How so?”

“She is an addict Naveen. She stated she that was addicted to alcohol and prescription medication and I presume more illicit substances.”

“You presume?”

“I asked if she was reaching out for financial assistance and she said no, she did not want me to subsidize her habits.”

Naveen nodded before asking.

“Did she state why she did what she did?”

“Yes, she resented her whole life. She loved us but resented us so she left.” Said Ethan trying to hold back the tears.

“Am I any better than her? I do not resent my life but the hours I work, how much I drink, the pushing of people away and avoidance.”

Naveen squeezed his mentee’s shoulder in support.

“The fact that you know that there is an issue and be able to identify them is a start.”

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in frustration.

“These issues have fucked so much up, Naveen…”

“It is not too late to rectify the mess you feel you are in,” said Naveen, in a comforting tone. “I will give you the names of some counselors who specialize with these issues. Some are affiliated with Edenbrook, some elsewhere.”

“Thank you Naveen.”

Meanwhile, Casey was down in the ICU checking on the patients when she heard a noise that sounded like someone falling. She turned around to see a patient on the ground. She pressed the call button and went to tend to the patient. Danny came in.

“Oh my god, Stephanie!” Exclaimed Danny.

“W-w-where a-am I?” Stephanie stuttered.

“Stephanie, you are at Edenbrook Hospital.” Says Casey. Danny gives her the chart and Casey had to do a double take. Stephanie had been in a coma for seventeen years. Casey knew this was big. She took the file and took it to the team. Despite the length of time in a coma, Stephanie’s mental faculties seemed very intact. June proposed a research grant, stating that waking up from a benzo overdose was so rare that a study would help others in the situation. Ethan agreed with June. June and Casey were put in charge of selling the idea to Stephanie and her parents.

Casey and June made their way to Stephanie’s room where they met Mr and Mrs Hill. They were still in shock that Stephanie was awake, Mr Hill even admitting that when the call came he had thought it was to advise them to come and say their goodbyes. They were apprehensive about telling her that she had overdosed. June stated that she feels that it may have not been deliberate, stating that one of the side effects can be forgetting and accidentally double dosing. Casey stated that they wanted to do a study, but it was upto to Stephanie. They entered the room, a physiotherapist was there with her. They waited until she was finished. And spoke to Stephanie. Casey spoke about the research they were hoping to do. Stephanie seemed overwhelmed and Casey suggested that she speak to her parents about it. Casey hoped she would do the study.

Later that evening June met with Dr Tobias Carrick. He enjoyed the sex normally with June but today he could tell that there was more to her pent up sexual frustration.

“What’s up June?”

“Nothing”

Tobias looks at June incredulously. June rolls her eyes.

“We have had a coma patient wake up after 17years…”

“Yeah I heard about that from the younger Dr Emery. I must say I am intrigued.”

“Yes, someone waking from a benzo overdose is so rare…”

“What if a coma can be prevented? At the moment there are very limited treatment options for an overdose.”

“I can see the gears in your head, it will piss off Ethan you know.” Said June.

“And?” Says Tobias. “Either your study or my study will be ground breaking, hell I could probably kill two birds with one stone with mine but the way I am helping you.”

“How so?” questioned June.

“Well, he has entrusted his protege, why is he entrusting her with something so important? Yeah she saved Naveen and being attached to a study like this would do wonders for her career but it will give you hopefully more intel on that situation.”

June nods her head thoughtfully. She kisses him and they proceed with their night. June had hoped to leave his townhouse before Tobias awoke but she was surprised to see him awake, with a smug grin on his face.

“I have just made an offer to the Hill family. It appears that Edenbrook and Kenmore are not the only hospital’s interested in Stephanie, but you or me have the edge as they are keen to stay in Boston.” Said Tobias.

June smiled a mischievous smile,”well may the best hospital win.”

Tobias chuckled and then he went and got ready for his day.

The day was uneventful, Casey was still cautiously optimistic of Stephanie wanting to help with the study. She had noted that Ethan seemed troubled and she was unsure what to do. They had what they said they would go to after his sabbatical but she remembered that pre Miami he was trusting her with Naveen. Surely what they had now was not the end game. As much as she wanted to approach Ethan, she also was reluctant to do so. The memory of that morning where he stated that he felt betrayed by her was still too raw and if he still felt that way then it would be pointless to go there. So she did as she had been doing and kept on keeping on. Ethan could see that Casey seemed troubled. As much as he wanted to tell her everything he still held back. What had happened was a wound that had barely been covered and he was not ready for it to be reopened. He understood the why but how it all went down in the end still hurt. He did not like the pre Miami setting they had found themselves in. He knew this is not what he wanted but with everything else going on he did not want to add to his pain.

The next morning came. Casey made her way into Edenbrook and she was surprised to see Stephanie being wheeled out by her parents. They spot Casey.

“I am glad to see you before we leave.” Said Mr Hill.

“Leave? Did we do anything to upset you?” Asks Casey, still confused.

“No, quiet the contrary. We are appreciative truly for what you have done for Stephanie but we received a really good offer from Mass Kenmore…”

“Dr Carrick sounded really nice and I know you would have come up with a great offer but they are allowing me to be at home from the get go. No offense but even though I was in a coma for most of it, seventeen years in hospital is a long time.” Said Stephanie.

“I get that, truly, I hope it all works out for you.”

“Thank you Dr Valentine.”

Casey sees them off and is then annoyed. Ethan comes up behind her.

“Do you know this Dr Carrick from Kenmore?”

Ethan freezes. He knows exactly one Dr Carrick and he knew what he was up to. Just then Casey looks up and sees him.

“So you know him then?”

“We were friends until we were not. We were one and two in our year at Hopkins.” Said Ethan. “Our competition with each other grew toxic and we have not been friends since before we graduated.”

“So he is basically restarting the competition again?”

“In a way it never fully ended. It is infuriating however.”

Casey nodded and then headed in. Meanwhile Ethan was still fuming. He knew that Stephanie would be the talk of the medical world and despite him seeing the positives of Tobias’s study he could not help but wonder that there was an ulterior motive. June then walked in and saw Ethan. She asked what was wrong.

Ethan sighs in frustration.

“Stephanie got poached by Kenmore.”

June hoped her surprise was convincing.

“Really?”

“Yes, seems you can not take the competition out of med school.”

June was waiting for a bigger explosion of anger.

“What? No reprimand? You put myself and Dr Valentine in charge of keeping her here and we failed!”

Ethan raised an eyebrow.

“The family had offers from as far away as California. I am glad that she will be studied.” Said Ethan. He then left the office. June was bemused. A massive opportunity was now missed and no reprimand. She got out her phone and messaged Tobias.

Well done on getting our patient. Ethan was annoyed but you will be surprised at how pissed he is not.

June receives a message back.

“Oh he would have been pissed, especially if I am involved but not pissed at you and Casey? Was not expecting that!

June then decides that covertly getting her answers was not going to work. So she decides to get the information directly from the lady concerned.

Meanwhile, Ethan stumbles upon Casey at Derry Roasters. He orders his Vienna and another Espresso Romano for Casey. He walks over and sits down.

“It is not your fault for Stephanie leaving” says Ethan.

Casey is shook from her daze.

“Sorry Dr Ramsey but how am I not to blame?”

“You did your best, from what I understand, what sold them on Kenmore was that she was able to go as an outpatient from the get go.”

“That is fair but it still sucks.”

“It is annoying but they also said something about the prevention of a coma so if successful it will revolutionize how an overdose is treated. I can not fault that. It is the ulterior motive I can not stand.”

Ethan decides to bite the bullet.

“Aside from Stephanie, how have you been?”

“Yeah, being busy. Work, reading up on diseases, trying to eat and sleep.”

Ethan nods. “Can we try to be friends Casey?” Asks Ethan. “I know we said pre Miami before we ended things but surely neither of us meant it to be this way?”

“I know what you mean, me accusing you of treating me as an obligation probably did not help.”

Ethan winced.

“You are right there. I think the day after it happened was the wrong time to have an all out discussion about it.”

“I never wanted to hurt you, it was a rock and a hard place situation.”

Ethan takes a breath before continuing.

“I get that you did not intend too but I guess neither of us put pregnancy up on the list of things that would happen.”

“You are right there Ethan. But to answer your question, I would like us to be friends again.” Says Casey, smiling. Ethan smiled too and they finished their coffee in companionable silence. He wanted to tell her about his meeting with his mother but he was not ready to tell her yet, even though he wanted to.

A few days go by and June is still trying to figure out how Ethan is not super pissed at herself and Casey. She bides her time and finally catches Casey alone.

“Shall we have lunch Casey?” Asks June.

Casey looks at June suspiciously.

“I just want to get to know our newest team member better outside of the office.”

Casey was still suspicious but she agreed. They went to an Italian restaurant near the hospital. They ordered their food. June started off light, asking about what drew her to medicine, college etc. their food arrived and June felt it was time to go for the jugular.

“What is the deal with you and Ethan?”

Casey raised her eyebrow and then said, “Is that any of your business?”

June was affronted.

“Can’t a girl find out how your history is going to impact the team?”

“History is history June. Myself and Ethan have worked enough together to keep work at work.”

“Were you sleeping with him to gain favour?”

“Excuse me? Did I what?” Exclaimed Casey.

“Did you sleep with…”

“No I did not sleep with him to gain favour.”

June is surprised.

“What so he decided to conduct an inappropriate relationship because he could?”

“It was not a relationship. It was an arrangement, everything was consensual, we agreed to end the arrangement before he went on sabbatical.”

Said Casey rather firmly.

“And now?” Said a June. “Ethan’s moods, especially in relation to you are giving me whiplash.”

“We are colleagues. He is the lead of the team and I am the junior fellow. There never was and never will be any special treatment from Ethan to myself. Regardless of our relationship status which at the moment is that of boss and subordinate.”

Casey gets up and leaves. She walks a few steps and stops.

“I do not know why you thought I was a threat to the team, it is sad that it appears to be your default setting.”

She walks away and June sits there stunned. While June finishes off her meal she messages Tobias, telling him about lunch and how according to Casey, they are currently only boss and subordinate. Tobias, like June was suspicious if that was indeed the truth. Little did Tobias know that he was going to get an opportunity first hand to see Ethan and Casey together.

———

Authors note: next chapter will be the softball game with some perspective from Tobias. I am looking forward to writing that from his perspective. Thank you for reading this far.

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @cariantha @tessa-liam @liaromancewriter @potionsprefect @alj4890 @zealouscanonindeer @youlookappropriate @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985 @socalwriterbee @lucy-268 @trappedinfanfiction

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices fanfic writers creations #casey valentine #choices #tobias carrick #June Hirata #au #fic of the week

[wannab-urs]

Outtakes - Non-smut vol 2

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist | vol 1

Hi friends! Sometimes we want fics that are SFW or we just want to make ourselves sad or we need a little pick me up. I'm here with a list of fics that have no (explicit) smut as of posting! They may have smutty thoughts or mild allusions to smut, but those are marked in the warnings!

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

updated 3/27/2024

i wonder if you stopped his world like you stopped mine

Frankie one shot by @chronically-ghosted

watching the woman he loves be with someone else is killing him, but for your sake, he manages. But when Benny's birthday loosens him up, he can't help but bear his soul over a phone call. Too bad you don't pick up and he's forced to leave the evidence in a voicemail.

pining, light angst, idiots in love, country music as a catalyst, romance, tw alcohol, tw drinking, hangovers, ultimately very fluffy

Ezra's Journal Entries

Ezra series by @littlemisspascal

This journal’s as good a place as any to admit the honest truth. So here it is: I wish with the entirety of my bloody, beating heart I could be the man you deserve, little love of mine. — Ezra recovers after the events of the film with the aid of a journal and the love of his life.

angsty fluff, Ezra’s dealing with the aftermath of the Green, language, 1st person POV (Ezra), dialogue in italics, angsty fluff, night terrors, PTSD, Ezra dealing with the aftermath of the Green, language, overuse of space metaphors, grief/dealing with loss of a sibling, mild reference of past injury, Part 11 could be read as suicidal ideation so please skip/be warned of that segment due to possible triggers

midnight strikes, where is my prince

Frankie one shot by @undercoverpena

he had been your neighbour. a man you'd stare at through blinds when he’d been on the front lawn. a man you’re now staring at through splintered shards of your mirror—because he saved you.

ANGST 😂. there’s mentions of a break-in. frankie is there and he has a gun, so you know we’re okay. angst. inspired by a scene from scandal-if you know, you know

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Marcus P one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

I am a visitor here. I am not permanent.

angst, breakups, mentions of Teresa x Patrick Jane

Constellations in his eyes

Dave York one shot by @janaispunk

Your fiancé stands you up on your birthday. Dave doesn’t.

infidelity, shitty boyfriend, angst, fluff, kissing, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n

The One

Dieter one shot by @schnarfer

If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?

Bit of emotional torment, drink and drugs references, Dieter POV, happy ending? Always Fleabag coded.

House Arrest

Dieter one shot by @rulexofxnines

Dieter stays over at your place out of desperation. Things get out of hand so you take control of the situation.

forced proximity, only one bed, a goat

The Howler Monkey

Dieter one shot by @covetyou

You got him here, he was safely tucked away upstairs and everything was going, mostly, according to plan. So, who the fuck is screaming?

no smut but some nudity, implied drug use/addiction, little bit silly, mildly angsty, performance anxiety, screaming, Dieter Bravo's soft cock. basically mild hurt/comfort/fluff with my usual bit of silliness.

Vampire!Dieter

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Interview with a vampire, gatsby style

flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter

Paint With Me

Frankie one shot by @bitchesuntitled

You have a crush on the dad of your daughter’s best friend.

Sexual innuendos and cursing

Door Number Three

Javi G drabble by @morallyinept

Javi shows you what he keeps behind that mirrored door

Character talk alludes to sexy things.

The Infinity Cube

Various Pedro Boy series by @littlemisspascal

When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?

language, fluff, angst, references to sex but no smut

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction #The spreadsheet Digest Outtakes

[annerbhp]

20 questions for fic writers!

@runawaymarbles tagged me, but she said I could do it anyway if I liked.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

114

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

1,436,497

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The big ones were Stargate and Harry Potter and The Untamed. I've also dabbled briefly in CSI, Leverage, Firefly, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Last of the Mohicans.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

It's all HP fic, which I think speaks both to the size of that fandom, but also that I started writing for that fandom as I moved to AO3.

The Changeling (HP, Ginny) The Armistice Series (going to cheat and put these all together, HP, Harry/Ginny) we can't control (watch me unfold) (HP, Harry/Ginny) gone was any trace of you (HP, Harry/Ginny) half awake and almost there (HP, Harry/Ginny)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do try to respond to comments, because each and every one of them mean a lot to me. But I am not always great about it. I think I kind of respond in giant bursts? So there are times when I just don't, often because I am totally focused on getting the next chapter out or something, but then I will just sit down on day and just mass respond to a lot. I could always be better at it though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Interesting. I am in no way afraid of angst, but I usually like to at least have a hopeful ending, if not a wildly happy pay off ending. I'm not sure I've ever done a full tragedy ending. Outside some one-off comment fic or ficlet posted here or there.

I think down here among the wreckage (Sam/Jack, SG-1) is my most infamously angsty fic of all time, and I never completely got to finish it? So it ends pretty darn angsty. Though maybe Beneath the Stains of Time (boy, I used to love a good apocafic!)

my kingdom come undone (Untamed, wangxian) is pretty darn angsty too, I suppose.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hopefully almost all of them? Though, I suppose I mostly like to exist in the "here's some pay off after angst, but I'm never gonna say everything is all good because it never is" area.

Maybe Life is What Happens which is sort of a coda to who Harry/Ginny could have ended up being?

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Occasionally, but not that often. I've only gotten something I would consider straight up hate speech twice, and those just get immediately deleted. Otherwise it's mostly someone telling me what they don't like. Some people really hated The Changeling. And some people really think I hate Hermione for some reason and hated that. Oh, boy and now I'm remembering the time I mentioned the mere possibility of a different pairing (Sam/Daniel) than my usual ship at the time (Sam/Jack) and got a lot of hate about that!

9. Do you write smut?

Not in the beginning, no. I distinctly remembering @holdouttrout and I being like "how can people write smut! I could never!" and then not so long later we had a good time coming back and laughing at ourselves and each other as we wrote smut. Lol. Good times, Trout!

These days, yes, I am known to sometimes write smut. I don't do a lot of PWP, but I think smut can be a great part of storytelling and character development. I'm not sure I'm any good at it, and it's probably the kind of writing I am least confident in, but I'm usually willing to try a hand at it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very occasionally I have. Mostly in response to a challenge or a fest or some sort of organized event. It can be fun to just take two things you like and brainstorm what it would possibly look like to smoosh them together. I think the biggest crossovers I ever wrote were a SG-1/Firely one (Raggedy Edge) and a SG-1/House MD one (Unexpected). Both were fics I wrote for someone else. (Man, I have this SG-1/Leverage fic that I always wanted to write but doubt I ever will. I think I had Maggie as one of Jack's cousins or something.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. People have occasionally posted one of my fics in weird archive or something. But no one's ever tried to claim one of my stories as their own.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a few! I know there are a few languages for The Changeling. Though I'm not sure if any were ever finished. I've had a few requests for various things over the years. And then I put up a "feel free to do without asking" disclaimer, so who knows!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, that is not something I've ever done. I'm always impressed by that. And some of the best fics I've ever read have been team written. (A Narrow Bridge by @frameofmind9 and Jo Lasalle, it's AMAZING.) I find it such an interesting and impressive idea. Not sure I'd be able to do it, but it's interesting!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I feel attacked. What kind of a question to ask a shipper. Well, there is always what takes up all my brain space in the moment, which is Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian in The Untamed. But Sam/Jack (SG-1) was my first and will always own a part of my brain.

It's interesting too, because there are ships I adore, ships I love to read about, and ships I love to write about. And those three don't always align. I think Sam/Jack and Wangxian have been the two biggest ships for me that touch all three of those at once.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Excuse me as I open my writing folder and gesture at everything all at once. Okay, I'll be nicer to myself. I am in a space where I feel like I will never finish anything ever again, but I will have faith!!

There's really too much. So many HP fics that I am sad that I will probably never get to. There's a time travel fic, there's a Harry never went to Hogwarts AU, oh, man, the zombie fic. So many.

There's a ton of SG-1 fics I left half-imagined, but it's been a decade since I stopped writing for that fandom, so I'm more distant from it now.

I want to finish them all!!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hm. This is hard. Probably because saying nice things about ourselves is hard and feels like being egotistical or something. Lol. I think I really like weaving various plot lines, themes, and character development, probably because that is the thing I love doing and so have spent a lot of time experimenting and practicing. I think I also have an ability to trust my instincts with what is working and what isn't, even if I'm stubborn about ignoring it sometimes. Can being stubborn as hell being a writing strength. Because that, honestly.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I have very little discipline. People who can outline something and then just knock a draft out are amazing to me. I am very slow and only tend to write when I'm in the mood. I think I can also be overly sensitive to unsolicited criticism. And in some cases solicited criticism from someone I haven't built trust with. That might mostly be the giant case of imposter syndrome I lug around with myself. So I might be sensitive, but I've been trying to build my skills in hearing it and reacting appropriately in a constructive way. I feel like brevity is another problem! Just look at this darn post!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Honestly, I don't attempt it. If someone is speaking a different language, I am more likely to just put the dialogue in italics or something, if whoever the POV is understands that language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Stargate SG-1. At least the first I ever wrote and shared. I think I wrote fanfic in my head for decades before realizing what it even was. (Let's say that I had quite the crush on Wesley Crusher and fantasized ways some OC self-insert might be able to marry him while also being adopted by Picard. Ah...the early 90s. What a time to be alive.)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Wow, and I thought some of these earlier questions were rude. 😂

I'm going to cheat and say that whatever i am currently working on is always my favorite.

Also, I really liked who i am at the end of the day which is so obscure that no one ever read it. (I think it has like 2 comments and one of them was @runawaymarbles being nice to me. <3 )But I just love a lot about it. Sometimes I daydream about removing the serial numbers and turning it into it's own thing.

Tagging @pepperf, @holdouttrout, @narukoibito, @mylittleredgirl, and YOU that person who wants to do this.

#20 questions writing memes

[hedwig221b]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you for tagging me @thotpuppy! I'm reading everybody's answers, it's so fun!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

46. Though only 14 of them in English.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

582,115 holy shit

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Teen Wolf. I've translated for Sherlock before, though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. The Happiest of All (Sterek, Explicit, 32,5k, ER, Angst, Miscommunication, Stiles runs away from Derek thinking it's for the best. He's wrong) 2. Untouchable (Sterek, Explicit, 17,1k, ABO, Univesity!AU, Courting, Stiles is the new hot omega, bad boy!Derek is the only one allowed to get close) 3. Safe (Sterek, Not Rated, 974, ER, TW Movie Fix-it.) 4. Wait For Me (Sterek, Mature, 64,6k, Spark!Stiles, Cursed sterek, very soft and desperate, forever love) 5. Treasure (Sterek, Explicit, 71,2k, Historical AU, Courting, Heavy Angst, Derek saves Stiles and baby Eli from gold-digging suitors in the most feral and tender way possible)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I answer each and every one, except for emojis. I also stopped responding to comments on Safe because it exploded so quickly and there was an avalanche of comments and I got anxious and I'm still overwhelmed SORRY

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I cannot decide between Wait For Me and Treasure. In both Stiles loses people, willingly or not, and it's devastating that this is something he will have to live with. But both have happy endings, don't worry.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Lmao, it's pwp Devoured (Sterek, Explicit, 5,2k, Sex God!Derek, Human Sacrifice!Stiles). I mean, Stiles is getting fucked by Derek in front of the dozens of deities, and everyone is jealous of them.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, people have been very nice to me. Some people don't like how soft my Stiles is but it's whatever. However, I anticipate the hate from a certain character defense squad for the fic that's coming out in November. I hope they'll never find it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. It's porn with feelings. And they MUST hold hands. Stiles moans and whimpers and Derek has a filthy mouth. Both are feral sluts for each other. Also monsterfucking. It's Derek Hale's fault, don't look at me, look at his tiddies

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, and, please, don't start

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. Though, I, myself, translated a lot of fics. It's a unique and wonderful experience. I don't think authors realize how deep into their heads we crawl, how we dissect every paragraph, every sentence, how much we immerse ourselves to convey what the author was trying to say. Some fics I banged my head over, they were so hard to translate. Others were so easy and wonderful, it was a joy to work with them. Yes, the last one was Waiting by isthatbloodonhisshirt. I fucking loved working on it so much.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, and I don't see myself doing so.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

STEREK

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Listen. Mutual pining!Sterek, established!Cordia. In order to save the pack from the Monster of the Week, Stiles and Lydia have to work together to defeat it, and they cannot tell anybody what they're doing bc the pack will die if they do. Naturally, the cheating rumors start. Cora is furious, Derek is devastated. Stiles and Lydia see how much it hurts their loved ones, but they would rather have them heartbroken than dead. Only when Stiles kisses Derek goodbye before going to die for his pack, do they realize that something's amiss. It's so angsty and so epic and I've had this idea for over a year.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Purple prose. Conveying emotions. ANGST. I will make it my life mission to make my readers cry.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action scenes (including smut because sex is an action scene). Sentences have to be quick, short, with lots of verbs and not a lot of time for emotions. I am not made for that! I try, though, I'm learning, HOLD ON. I also take a long time preparing for super emotional scenes, I just sit there and stare at the monitor and breathe anxiously.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Not a full dialogue, but small words like endearments HELL YES! I had an absolute blast with Treasure, having Stiles call Eli cute pet names in Polish. I feel somewhat comfortable with including Polish, bc my native language has the same/similar roots (?), so I understand when the Google Translate is spewing bullshit at me. I'd love Derek to speak more Spanish, but I know that GT is shit, so I have to stay away. Believe me, I know what it's like to read something in your native language and cringe bc of how wrong it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sigh. Sherlock. I translated a fic and it ended up being an overnight hit and it's still the most popular Johnlock fic I've ever translated. The first fic I wrote myself was for Teen Wolf, Sterek. I would probably die from cringe if I looked at it now.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Treasure MY BABY MY LOVE MY FAVORITE CHILD ugh I'm so proud of it, of Stiles, of Eli and Derek in it. It's incredibly raw. I'm also currently writing a fic that's going to come very close to being my favourite. Maybe, even surpass Treasure. But now, I can say with all my heart that Treasure is my best work. Second is The Happiest of All.

This has been insightful and fun. Not tagging anyone, feeling shy, if you want you can steal the questions (hidden below)

20 questions for fic writers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

#tag game #writing #fic writing #my fics #sterek #ao3 fanfic #sterek fandom

[soranihimawari]

Cinders and Phoenixes

A second piece to this

Warnings: mourning!gojo x healing!reader

Ratings: angst->comfort->fluff

At approximately 1:25am, your body goes missing. You arrive at your secret boyfriend’s door at 1:46am, seen talking to him through a window per a perimeter check. He pulls you inside to talk. You talk until he kisses you closer to 2:22am. Returning his affections, you feel yourself go numb after you notice him calmly whispering an apology as your breathing is softly, deftly going still… it’s a sleeping curse, you realize and you nod. Your eyes roll to the side and see your best friend, now understanding the situation—an incredible view into the void with a wisteria tree waving it’s flowers in the air. A glass bed waits. Last you, you feel your lover’s hand leave your body last as his friend carries you close to 3:00am and the portals close.

You are pronounced dead on arrival in a forged, legal document meant to fool immediate family, friends, and the elders in the sorcerer community. Your time is frozen around you, but you age alongside your friends until you reach your late twenties… your eyes burn and you break free from the glass… the heat is too strong. Something is very wrong, as you catch your breath. You feel we though your heart breaks a little and you realize perhaps the raven haired love is no more.

“Geto…?” His name falls out as the first you question and the wisteria flowers dance around you, the branches try to hug you by proxy of him and you nod understanding that life is not always fair.

And so, you wait for another. A young boy, probably as old as you are as you tally the sun and moon movements, with hair the color of a falling star and eyes that would make the winter scene scape jealous.

It happens suddenly, you know? One day you were eating a few blueberries after hunting a pheasant down in this lovely part of a place you can’t escape when he falls, bloodied from the sky. You wander toward him and see him dazed and a bit confused.

“S-satoru?”

His breath is knocked of him a second time. You haven’t changed much in appearance, sure your hair is longer and your clothes are a little tight here and there, but that’s what happens in this void: the people or things trapped here age, they’re materials do not.

Gasping, he says your name like a question and a relieved sensation washes over him. Helping him sit up, you dust the crushed flowers off his hair.

“Gardenias?” you ask, small smile tugging on your lips.

“Mm,” he sheepishly nods.

“They mean secret love,” you glance at the crushed blossom in your palm. “I’m so sorry.”

“We were angsty teenagers. I wasn’t going to interfere…”

“Thank you.”

You kiss his cheek before offering some blueberries.

“This is a nice part of your technique. How did you find it?”

“Thought of the first place I’d take anyone on a date, whether it’s a platonic one or not.”

“You did good, Gojo Satoru. I’m really impressed.”

He leans on your shoulder before breaking down and through his shaking shoulders and wobbly voice filled with anger and woe, he tells you everything.

And at the end of his odyssey of a tale, you cup his face and dry his tears.

“You are not to blame,” you whisper against his skin. “I saw it too, with the Eye. We couldn’t stop Geto from doing any of it. We were too young and too full of ourselves then.”

“Now I’ll help you best I can before the king of curses makes our lives a living hell,” you smile as you stand up with him.

“And now?”

Three seasons come and go in this imprisoned realm. In that time, you grow closer again to your childhood menace of a friend. He, like you, process the grief, the healing, and in so doing, come the next autumn, you sense he’s being pulled away.

“They’re calling for you to come back,” you notice he’s more translucent now than before.

“Come with me?”

Gojo Satoru is many things, clever is one of them because as the imprisoned box cracks, he steps out confidently with a person Kenjaku recognizes as a cardinal abomination.

You, you smile telling Satoru to watch the clouds a moment and tend to his students…but not before you bellow a stern, “bow to me.”

And Kenjaku obeys against his body’s will. Geto’s corpse bends lower and lower as Kenjaku tries to resist your livid loathing.

“Go possess someone else,” and the order causes all cursed spheres from the last parade to be regurgitated out of the living corpse. This torture continues for as long as it takes for you to draw out a mean looking man with six arms and glowing red eyes. He seems to be amused at how you command special grades.

“The Eye is a terrible burden on a righteous soul,” Sukuna chuckles in the distance turning his heel after muttering something about how things will only become more complicated later.

Months later, or rather, what feels like a lifetime ago, Gojo and you are back in his own apartment. You have an ID card from Jujitsu Tech, except yours says your home city: Kyoto. You are not often paired for missions, but Gojo takes you anyway to keep you busy. Why? Because he’s afraid he sees a little too much similarity between Geto’s spiral as you stand on the precipice of your own… and it’s quite terrifying.

Until one rainy afternoon, Gojo comes in soaking wet and in a moment of crisis and severe blood loss, his lips align with yours. Time freezes a moment and you feel the blood soaked fabric and the iron burns your nostrils slightly. He tells you it’s someone else’s, but you feel the bandages through his shirt and you shake your head.

“I know it’s not,” you nudge his nose with yours. Your hands unzip his jacket and he breathes sharply when he rests his head on your shoulder, his though roll to help you peel the soaked cloth of his jacket off. His bandages over his eyes push up on his forehead before you carefully slide it off when his lips find your jaw.

“Let me have this,” he begs, his voice so tired and hallow.

“Satoru,” you hum before you lazily close your eyes and give in just this once.

Surely, if this was a myth, Geto’s love for you would just be a lovely filled short season. Gojo’s emotional torment over losing so many and gaining one back is a legend spanning generations—it’s almost comical how brightly he burns himself out for the ones he cares to protect. Even more so if they are all like you. The kisses you shared at first were teasing and testing. Currently? They are viscious and horrendously passionate.

“Mmf,” he presses himself against your hold on him when you triumphantly lean into him more. He’s warm, a little too warm when you leave his kiss bruised lips alone.

“Satoru,” you warn when his hands press into the small of your back. “You have a fever.”

Your breath cools his flushed cheeks and he nods. He relents, but he does let you go.

“We can talk about this later, ok?”

You bring an open palm of his to your cheek before you press a kiss inside the palm. He nods and right before he leaves you in the entrance of the hallway, the strongest hears your voice and he turns to you in a forlorn and lovely way.

“I already lost Geto, don’t want to lose you either,” you say what his expression means. “Go get cleaned up. Your dinner is in the microwave, just heat it up if you want.”

You are in a limbo with him. Yes, he loves you, and you, your heart moves with his. Did it have to take the loss of many to come here? Surely not, but his hands wrap around you every night and you hold him together best you can, quietly cutting the demons tethers around him so he sleeps easier. His insomniac drives grow low because of your help. Gojo Satoru is always talked and spoken highly of, yet he is the most vulnerable he ever is in this sense of home with you, it spells trouble for later on.

For now, for now in the cold December morning, you wrap your arms around him. He chuckles asking what you’re doing up before six:

“I needed you, the bed was empty after…”

“After you and I got out our frustrations?”

You give him a look.

“Sweetness, that was …,” he whistles low.

“Oh, I know,” you laugh before pressing your forehead against his shoulder blades.

Silence hangs itself in the room and he continues to make another cup of tea after offering you some.

Satoru turns to you, both still half dressed, his shirt on your body, his sweatpants on his waist. He slides the mug down down a minute before lifting you up and on to the counter top.

“Is it betrayal if I kiss you?” You ask sipping your tea. He scratches his chin before kissing you lightly. Eyes, all six of them, look at your love bitten skin, your third eye does the same on him. His chest has scars to can’t even remotely fathom and when you press a finger or two on the one nearest his sternum, he stutters a breath.

“No,” he murmurs. “It’s not.”

“How many people can say they had two great loves in their lives, hmm,” sips tea with a smile. Satoru smirks too as he drinks his hot tea.

“Want to visit Suguru?” His voice is eerily calm. “His family mausoleum isn’t that far from his home town.”

You see the doubt and the embers of how this relationship morphs as it was born out of grief and needing to feel loved, so you chose to quell his fears.

“Gojo Satoru,” you place the mug back down to hold one of his hands and the other, you use to guide his face downward to look you in the eyes. “I may have loved Suguru, but I am in love with the man who’s lost so much more.”

You kiss his brow. “You can’t compare apples to oranges because to be fair, I love both equally and differently. It took me an extraneous amount of time to recover in a spiritual sense, but you? You never did…”

“But i—”

“Not done, Satoru,” you say firm in tone. “But you did your best with what life threw at you; at him; at us.”

You don’t realize you’re crying until he catches your tear drops in his finger tips. He whispers praises and hymnals is your words. Palaces built on a shaky foundation is bound to fall, yet for him and you, your healing together forges a stronger fill for the cracks. Your lips fit against his when he leans forward, understanding that this is ok too. You break for a moment and rest your forehead against his.

“It’s alright,” you reassure him. “You’re afraid?”

Gojo scoffs before cupping your hair and drawing you near, kissing your neck innocently enough. You laugh, and he does too after cheering your glasses together.

Peace, though in its swiftly fading light, christens over two silhouettes yearning for the answers to the other’s loneliness. And though sorrow drove you apart, your feet and by proxy his, led him to you. So you sing to his exhausted bones a lullaby to appease his fears and even the phantasms of his mind obey your call. Each word soothes him, every touch sends his soul to the Elysian fields where good and morally gray warriors rest. You wonder what he sees that makes him cry so beautifully, you don’t press further until you ask his consent to kiss him in more effective ways. A solar flare seeks the dark as does you to Gojo Satoru who uses this fugue state of his to fall madly, deeply, devoted to you.

“Beware the Eye of the storm: there is silence and resolve; a resiliency most revered,” Geto’s sixteen year old self reads from a shelf. His best friend, shakes his head and in his hands, a gardenia drawing he doodled earlier.

The white haired young lad looked up at his rival of a best friend and chuckled saying, “We should ask yn if that’s true or something the elders made up to scare us?”

The memory remains locked in the minds of those that were there in the library’s restricted section that afternoon. Even now when two lovers are pressed against the other in a dawning sunrise.

#🌻— flying around collecting pollen—queue #sora after hours #sora scribbles 2023 #🎋jjk🎋 #gojo x y/n #gojo x reader

[catherineav]

it looks like the hopper byers may be using the radio tower as their house so writing prompt: the first time they arrive there, kids having little fights to choose rooms, joyce and hop trying to make it cozy and homely for them, etc

OOPS because I'm me, this turned out slightly angsty, but no fear, it has a light ending. :) i hope this is somewhat what you had in mind!

They don’t have much. 

They took only the necessities back with them from California—the car, their clothes, a few family photo albums. It all amounts to a couple of duffle bags for each of them, which they immediately drop on the floor upon stepping into the abandoned radio station. 

Hopper has even less. His old clothes don’t fit for the most part, so his belongings consist mostly of some hoodies and t-shirts, plus the tokens from the cardboard boxes—Dad, Vietnam, Sara—he’d methodically repacked into his bags. 

Without a word of approval or complaint, Jonathan heads straight for the back of the old building. The room must once have been the producer’s office, judging by the framed records visible through the half-open doorway. 

El glances back at her parents, unsure, so Joyce offers her a nod and a tight smile. It’s not much, but it must be enough, because El steps forward to explore, dragging Will along behind her. 

“She’s never gotten to choose a room before,” Joyce realizes softly. Jim doesn’t answer, just shuts and bolts the entrance behind them before guiding her forward with a hand at the small of her back. She feels compelled to explain. “Owens already had the house staged when we got to California. Her room was so girly.”

That draws a smile from Jim, at least. 

But despite the soft murmurs from her two youngest—sharp and quick, are they really bickering over who gets which bedroom?—the whole place is too large and spacious and quiet for Joyce. So she keeps talking.

“He kept announcing what he would do for us, the house, the school, the documents, as if any of it could make up for what—what we lost. I thought he’d never shut up. ‘I’m impressed with myself, it wasn’t easy to get Jane in school, you know.’ The number of times I heard that line…The only reason I didn’t destroy our phone was because I needed it for the encyclopedias.” She shakes her head, pausing with her fingers on the tabletop of what was once a reception desk. It will make a decent kitchen table, if they can dig up a couple more chairs of the correct height. “And then to come through with the bare minimum to get us back from Alaska, it took days—”

“Joyce, I was there. Don’t exactly need ya to recount that one.”

She spins around, mortified, but he’s smiling. 

She releases the extra breath she’s been storing to fuel her rambling, instead slumping forward with her forearms on the table. “Sorry. I talk too much when I’m stressed.”

“Why are you stressed?” He mirrors her stance, facing her across the table.  

She laughs, she can’t help it. What a ridiculous question. But then…

She looks around, really looks around, for the first time.

Bob would have loved this place. The sad thought comes to her unbidden, but it's bittersweet. Her stomach doesn't roll with nausea like it might once have.

The station is gray and cold. Corporate, almost. But there are signs of life, too. An empty coffee mug, a calendar still turned to the previous month. Strangers lived and breathed here, but this family never has.

Her eyes meet Jim’s. “I’m homesick,” she whispers.

“Hmm.” He considers this, his gaze tracing a similar path. He smiles again. “We can make this home, I think.”

She stands straighter, a smile tugging at her own lips. “Yeah?”

He shrugs. “Sure. We’re all here, you and me and El and the boys, together, for starters. And it won’t be two days before we’re outnumbered by the rest of those teenagers four to one. We won’t be able to hear ourselves think until we bust out the pizza and eat it on the rug in front of the record player.”

It’s a pretty picture, if an outrageous one. “Okay,” she whispers. She believes him. 

With a kiss to her cheek, he steps past her, rummaging under the counter. He emerges with his arms full of dark fabric and dumps some into her arms. “And we’ll start with the blackout curtains.”

She holds back a groan, only because he calls in the kids to help and she’s pretty sure she can get away with minimal effort dumped into this project, if only because she’s short. But of course it isn't until the two of them are well into working on the first window together, the kids stomping in from the hallway, that Jim asks, “Why was it so difficult to enroll El in school? She should have had my money, the birth certificate…”

She can tell by his pinched frown that this has been bothering him. But she can also see that even as El and Will unroll one of the curtains in the corner, El is tuned in and listening. 

Joyce had only agreed to Owens's suggestion so El could enroll in a school with her brothers, attend parent-teacher conferences with her mother. Even still, she could never stand here and say the words Owens had to marry us with a straight face.

So she clears her throat and pushes herself onto her toes to secure the curtain. “It’s a long story. For another time.”

One day, she knows—perhaps gathered together eating pizza out of the box in front of the record player—she’ll tell it and smile. 

#stranger things #fanfiction #jopper #eleven stranger things #joyce byers #jim hopper #will byers #willel #hopper byers family #el hopper

[nylwnder]

mine, yours | matthew tkachuk

gif by 9116

a/n: this is my entry to @antoineroussel ’s summer fic exchange 2k22!! this piece is for @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 who was my lovely match!! i hope you like it nat, tried my best to make this as angsty as i could (still new to the trope), i hope you enjoy <33333 also to everyone else, this is my first non-leaf player fic so i hope you can enjoy it as well!

warnings: SMUT, fem!oc, my take on trying to make this angsty, right person/wrong time, exes to lovers, soft!matthew, mutual pinning

word count: 2.3k

“maybe we need time to figure ourselves out first?” venus said, bouncing her leg and looking at the ground. “i just know that i wanted to make sure i had everything in line so i could focus on you, focus on us.”

matthew nodded, resting his head on her shoulder. “you’re right. i need to get used to this whole nhl world, and you deserve the time of finishing school and finding your perfect internship.” she smiled at him, appreciating his understanding of her proposal.

“promise me that you won’t forget me, yeah? if life really changes when we go our own ways, and maybe you meet new people… just know that i loved you so much. and i’ll support whatever it is that you choose to do.” venus nodded as matthew spoke, her eyes getting blurred with the many tears that began to build up.

venus knew it was going to be hard to let him go. not have him even in those few minutes of free time the two of them had. though all the while she knew it was best, that a better relationship would come with time. she wanted matthew, and she hoped that even with any circumstances that would arise, she was going to do everything to have him by her side one day or another.

“i’ll say the same thing to you” she says, letting out a small laugh. he looks at her with melancholic eyes, “oh baby, i won’t forget your sweet sweet face”

—

they were phantom fingertips. ones that knew all the places, all the ways to make one crumble under their touch. they were ones that venus knew all too well, ones she pictured for all those years. the ones she ached for day by day. his soft lips, warm breath by her ear. “mine, all mine.”

she woke up, hearing that the plane would land in a few minutes. she sighed, relishing in the series of dreams she had throughout her nights. the ones she hadn’t stopped seeing since she was that 19 year old girl thinking if she made a mistake by letting him go. if maybe she needed him more than anything. if he was the only way she could function.

she’d be closer to him than ever today. closer to her fantasies when she stepped onto the ground that is calgary. she didn’t know if she should be excited or nervous. he could be far from the man she last saw. a girl already standing beside him. laughing in his ear with his arms wrapped around her tightly. she knew that they could always have started to make their own lives between the time apart.

though her thoughts were halted as the taxi dropped venus off at her parents house. a black g-wagon was parked on the driveway behind venus’ father’s car. she knew the meaning of the car to a particular someone but her mind flew past the fact that it was parked in her driveway. as she walked into her childhood home, she heard voices mingling further in.

“i’m here mom, dad!!” venus announced as she made her way to the kitchen. “my darling, you’re home!!” her mom greeted her with open arms. she smiled as her mother took in her presence. “your father is in the living room, why don’t you say hello” she says, venus nodded and made her way over. though her father swooped the girl into a hug before she’d even made it through the hall. “hello sweetie, so great to have you home now!” he says, “i’m so happy to be back! i’ve missed you both”

“why don’t you greet our guest in the living room” her father says. it wasn’t until he parted away that venus’ chocolate eyes widened at the sight of some untamed brown curls that belonged to the boy of her dreams. her heart began to race, she hadn’t seen his soft face for four years.

matthew’s eyes lit up at the sight of venus. her dark brown hair curled around her face beautifully. they both couldn’t help but smile. as he was about to greet her, before he could speak, venus couldn’t think of anything else to do but lunge in his arms. his warmth, scent, build and husky voice in her ears is what she daydreamed for years. for all one could say, it was her determination to complete her goals so she could come home to him. the one thing she was still missing.

“hi” she says, “hello love” he says, his blue eyes taking in the only person he’s had in his mind. though day after day he was still filled with doubt on whether or not she'd take any interest in him once she came home. if she’d found that perfect person for herself while matthew was away.

“matthew here was just visiting us as he usually does,” venus’ mother said, as she looked at the two of them. venus looked at matty, curious if he really made daily visits to her parents home. “but he has practice to head to, right matthew?”

“yes mrs. burkley.” he said, though he kept his eyes fixed on the girl who kept her hands tugging at his sweater. “i gotta go” he said quietly, venus nodded though didn’t make a move to back away from him. “will you still be joining us for dinner tonight?” mrs. burkley asked matty as he finally forced himself to move away from venus even though his whole body ached to hold her till he couldn’t no more. “of course,” he says, venus’ eyes bright at the proposal. “wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

—

around dinner time, matthew didn’t take long before arriving. he wore a dress shirt and some dress pants while venus decided to wear a summery-ish dress that flowed around with her every step. conversation consisted mostly of how perfectly venus’ internship - for a renowned advertising organization - was in new york. matty also shared his highlights of his career of being a professional hockey player for the flames.

though the both couldn't help but hint that everything was perfect except for a part of themselves. the part that knew not having each other made for everything not being enough to bring themselves to true satisfaction. that it wasn’t until they could lie together, legs tangled, bodies as close as humanly possible, and sharing all the sweet nothings that they longed to hear from one another. it isn’t until then, that their hearts would shine as purely, beat as naturally, as they should.

—

a few days had passed since venus’ initial arrival back home. matthew had asked her if she wished to go see one of his games. obviously saying yes maybe a bit too quick than she should’ve, matty sent her the tickets with a slight chuckle escaping his lips. she sat and watched that evening, seeing him skate as swiftly as he always did. before their time apart, she had only watched some of his rookie games when her uni schedule allowed her. though when she was away she’d taken a few nights to watch some of his games, but she had really forgotten how amazing the feeling of being in the arena with all the fans felt.

the game ended, as matthew and the flames won. she waited for him by the lockers, his teammates, old and new, greeted her with kind smiles. “glad you’ll keep him company now. he hasn’t stopped talking about you, it makes us sick.” one of them said to venus, she turned to the man before he walked away.

“wait, do you mean he doesn't have a girlfriend? like at all?” venus asked. even if early this morning she was looking back at all the signs of any possible care matty still has for her, her doubt couldn’t help but stick in her head and distort her thoughts. she wanted nothing more than to find out the truth, “i haven’t seen him even look in a girls direction.” he laughed a bit in which she smiled back.

“venus! how’d you like the game?” matty asked as he jogged to her. she smiled, “so fucking cool!! forgot how much i missed seeing a live game.” he grinned before taking her to his car in the large parking garage. “i have something planned out at my place, if you wanna come over?” matthew asked, fiddling on the steering wheel as they headed out to the nighttime streets of downtown calgary. “sure, i’d love that”

the ride wasn’t too long to matty’s place. venus took her time admiring the feel of exploring the semi empty streets of this beautiful city. the way she used to skip through the puddles of the spring rain and laugh with matthew by her side. snacking on something so mediocre that the two of them just couldn’t help it. matty could see her smile as she drifted through her thoughts, it couldn't help but make him all warm inside. but he thought about who it was that she was dreaming of? if it was the man who’s waiting for her back in new york?

they made their way inside matty’s place, where candles and a pre-prepared meal sat waiting for them. her heart fluttered at the scene in front of her, matthew taking off his suit jacket and venus’ sweater while she stood looking at every itty bitty detail. she spinned around to him as he threw them aside. her eyes skipped from matthew’s eyes to his lips and it took all her confidence to make their lips meet.

after kiss and kiss and kiss, matty didn’t think much before he scooped venus up and made their way to his room. he placed her gently on the bed, her fingers tied in his curls. he chased for her lips as she fell back on the comfy mattress, his hands holding her sides.

“w-wait, venus” matthew spoke, breaking the blissful link of their lips. venus gave a soft whine but she looked into his sad eyes and composed herself from matthew’s toe-curling kisses. “yeah?” she asked, he looked down from her now worried face. she became concerned if she did something wrong, if there really was anything holding them back from being with each other.

“nick. your mother said you’re dating a man named nick back in new york. are you really?” he asked quietly. venus snickered, “my mother never pays attention, does she?” matthew furrowed his brows. “nick? yeah just a guy from my internship who asked me out on one date. just one.”

“you don’t want to go out on more?” matthew asked, pushing a possibility that venus never paid mind to. “matty, i couldn’t feel a single thing for any of them. for anyone who tried to spark a conversation.” matty nodded, surely knowing the feeling, “and- a part of me never wanted to. i kept having this fantasy that when i’d come home, i’d finally get what i always wanted. a particular person who so happened to make it to my parents house before me.”

he smiled, his hands softly beginning to rub her sides. “nick by the way…. well you remember that guy that tried to speak to taryn at any time he could, and brady was like millimetres away from beating him up?” venus said smiling and playing with the collar of mattys dress shirt. “yeah, at the st. patty’s party” she nodded, “yeah well,” she bounced her brows and giggled. “he looks like that? no way” he said, giggling with her. “the resemblance is uncanny. but yeah, my mother is always exaggerating everything, you should know that by now.”

matty nodded, “please she made it seem like a 2 year relationship. but a part of me really did believe it. that you really did move on from what, a childhood crush-” her hands made their way to cup matthews face, “matty i made you a promise, i wasn’t going anywhere.” venus could feel all the uncertainty and hesitation fall from his shoulders. “and i told you i was never going to forget your sweet sweet face”

she smiled, tugging at him to kiss her already. when the two of them broke the kiss for air, a smile crept up at the corners of venus’ lips. “the question is, whether we eat or well, continue in here. what do you think?” matty smirked, laying a teasing kiss on her lips, “i think we’ll work up an appetite later, no?” matty says, pulling a giggling venus up so she could straddle his lap.

“i missed you” venus spoke, letting her arms hook around the back of matty’s neck. “i missed you more, trust me”

shirts ripped off, pants unbuttoned, underwear slipped down. it took no effort to feel like the love filled kids who couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. who couldn’t mask the groans or whines from slipping past their kiss swollen lips. or couldn’t help getting their fingers tangled in each other’s hair, searching for anything to ground them from their euphoric state.

nails scratching against matthew's back, marks taking shape on each other’s neck, a trail of wet kisses leading to venus’ throbbing cunt. she could have sworn that she needed to pinch herself to see if she really was feeling his tongue this time. but now that she tugs at his curls, a tight grip of his hands keeping her thighs from squeezing around his head, she didn’t feel anything but ablaze.

there was such a hunger of having matty fill the void inside of venus. matthew couldn’t count the amount of times he would do anything to feel her wet pussy flutter around his length again. to have her leg hooked up and over his shoulder, just to hear her gasp when he pushed in for what seemed impossibly deeper.

matthew’s warm breath moved from hovering over venus’ neck to her ear. her mouth nipping at his shoulder while his hips harshly bucked into hers. “mine, all mine” he whispered, kissing her jaw.

“all yours” venus whined out, pulling him in for a kiss.

[ join my taglist if you enjoyed reading! : click here <3 ]

#the summer fic exchange 2k22 #matthew tkachuk #matthew tkachuk fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk smut #matthew tkachuk x reader #calgary flames #calgary flames fic #calgary flames smut #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl writing #nhl smut #hockey fics #hockey imagine #hockey smut #hockey writing

[mixsethaddams]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @mojowitchcraft

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Twenty as of right now

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 293,097. I know there's a lot of writers who'll get to that same level with one or two of their long fics but it's still a lot for me 😅

3. What fandoms do you write for? Just Stranger Things these days

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? The Bartender Was A Trap with 2135, Eddie/Hotdude Official Megathread! with 1887, Slither with 1360, Could you coo, could you care? with 1202, and good to me with 1004.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? As often as I can! It means a lot when people take the time to leave comments. I mostly don't reply when someone is trying to 'well actually...' me about something though

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't tend to write a lot of sad endings or angst for actual fics. I have some posts on here that have sad endings though. Maybe this one probably that I'd written for febuwhump is the saddest/most angsty?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I only write happy endings! But definitely either Slither or wasted crying . There were people cheering for those ones

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah I got a lot of hate from some people about crushcrushcrush because of the Eddie/Chrissy relationship tag. This version of the characters was in an unhappy and, as we later find out, mutually toxic relationship and I had maybe two or three chapters planned out to explore how it got to that point between them and have her as a much bigger character. I folded under a lot of really horrible things being said to me in anon asks here and guest comments on ao3, and cut it down to a single chapter with everything crammed in, reduced her character down to (as I refer to her) a cardboard cutout pantomime villain, and took the tag off. I wish I had have been able to just brush it off and plow through to give the story the chance it deserved, but I'm still glad I was able to do what I did with it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do indeed. I claim not to, but let's be honest with ourselves. Its entirely mlm right now but I do have some wlw written and hidden away. I haven't written straight boy/girl sex in a very long time but I have some that I want to do as part of a series of follow ups to The magic number

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I haven't! But I do think that Eddie Munson would spit in Gator Tillman's mouth the first chance he got.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have, yes. That's entirely why I created my whole online 'persona' and started trying to show some sort of presence. I had a few too many things taken and claimed as someone else's and I just got sick of it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No! The opportunity would be a lot of fun though, with the right person

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Honestly Steddie. It's the only one that's held my attention for so long

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a really cute Farmer's Market AU for Steddie but I can't find a way to tell the story I want to with it

16. What are your writing strengths? I'm good at characterizations

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Sometimes I over describe things because I myself have trouble visualising it or making a link between point A and point B and assume the reader would too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've never tried it because I know I'd be relying so heavily on google translate and I don't want it to sound jarring or stilted.

19. First fandom you wrote for? ...Green Day RPF.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? Slither has a very special place in my heart obviously. When He Loved Me was a cathartic and freeing way to help myself work through various things while telling the story. I also need to give a shoutout to my first Stranger Things fic, which was an Eddie/OFC story called What happens next? based in canon after Vecna is beaten. I really love the story I told there and I really like the way I wrote Eddie especially. It's cute and fun and I'm proud of it.

zero pressure tags:

@henderdads @infinite-orangepeel @steddielations @thorniest-rose @eddywoww @steddierthings @lexirosewrites @3minsover

#seth writes #fanfiction #my writing #tag game