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orcinus-veterinarius · 21 days

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When horses end up with severe leg/hip injuries, they are almost always put to sleep. The odds of recovering full mobility from such injuries are slim and the odds of reinjury are high, so even if the horse is perfectly healthy in all other aspects, it is generally recognized to be more humane to put them down than to keep them alive just to live the rest of their lives limping around a small paddock or stall. A life for a horse in which s/he cannot gallop, leap, explore and play is no life at all. Why not apply the same logic to cetaceans? A life for a cetacean in which they can’t dive hundreds of meters, make meaningful autonomous choices (“should I play with the rubber ball or the puzzle feeder today?” is not a meaningful choice; research has shown that autonomy is crucial for animal welfare), echolocate and experience the rich biodiversity of the ocean is no life. I really don’t understand why it’s so horrible to think it more humane to euthanize a confused and sick orca calf if there is no chance of rehab and release than to take her/him permanently into captivity. It’s not disparaging or hateful to cetacean trainers to say so—I know they care about animals—it’s simply a logical ethical stance. Instead of searching in vain for orca conservation organizations that aren’t “radically anti-captivity”, maybe pro-caps should look inwards and ask themselves why all the major orca organizations (Center for Whale Research, Orca Behavior Institute, OrcaLab, Wild Orca, Orca Conservancy, Far East Russia Orca Project, etc.) as well as some cetacean organizations (ex. Whale and Dolphin Conservation, Cetacean Society International) oppose captivity. Is it because all of these esteemed groups, which if you look them up are all staffed by credentialed scientists, have been duped by the “animal rights agenda”, or could it be because maybe, just maybe, they know what they’re talking about? If captive orcas are so different from wild ones that wild orca biologists have no credibility to speak about their welfare, then that’s a clear indictment of captivity already.

Hi. I'm sorry for not answering right away, I was still at my externship when I got your ask, and I wanted to be able to sit down and give you a proper answer. So unfortunately, I don't think what I say will satisfy you. I don't expect to change your mind, nor is that my goal here. I only want to explain why I believe the way I do, so that you or others reading this can at least understand that it's not a position I take lightly, nor do I think it's infallible.

(Long post below the cut):

To start off, as an (almost) veterinarian, there are absolutely plenty of circumstances where I find euthanasia to be the correct decision. Euthanasia is our final gift to our patients, a swift and painless death in the face of prolonged suffering or poor quality of life. A large dog with debilitating osteoarthritis. A cat with terminal lymphoma. A down cow. A raptor with an amputated leg. Or like you mentioned, a horse with a fractured hip. These animals would live in a constant state of pain that they don't understand, and death can rightly be considered a kindness to them.

But an otherwise healthy orca calf? I would consider that a false equivalence. I agree that life in the wild should be prioritized whenever possible, and that captive orcas lead very different lives than their wild counterparts. But if that orca cannot return to the wild (orphaned and unable to be reunited with its pod, habituated to humans, non-painful disability such as deafness), and there is a facility willing to take it on, I do not think euthanasia is an appropriate option. In human care, that calf can still swim, breach, and dive, even if not to the same depths as the ocean (it's also worth noting that these are all costly behavior energetically and are not performed for no reason). It can still socialize and form family bonds with an adopted pod of whales. It can still (theoretically) mate and rear calves. It can still engage its big brain in problem-solving through training and enrichment in the place of hunting. And as a bonus, it will never go hungry and has access to veterinary care if ill or injured.

This is not a wild life. This is not the same life they would've, or should've known. A pool, no matter how well-appointed, is not the ocean, and we should not claim they're comparable. But I don't think it's a fate worse than death. I truly don't. But if it is... if freedom really is worth more than life, then all captive whales need to be euthanized. Even in a sea pen setting, they will not be free. They will not choose their food, their companions, their enrichment, their comings and goings. Those choices will still be made on their behalf by caregivers, and they will still have pretty much the same levels of autonomy as in their tank habitat. They will still be captive. (While some people do advocate for this, I don't think it's a popular outlook. Even SOS Dolfijn, a historically anti-cap organization, recently announced plans to build an aqauarium as a permanent home for non-releasable cetaceans rather than continuing to euthanize them).

Speaking of autonomy, yes, it is very important. But I truly don't think the orcas are distressed by the lack of meaning in choosing between enrichment devices. I think that's why we disagree on this topic... we have different worldviews. We both see orcas as beautiful, intelligent creatures, but I do not see them as people. They are animals, and for all their complexity, I interpret their behavior the same way I do any other species... they are motivated by food, reproduction, and (since they're highly social) companionship. Because of that, I still think we can give them a good life in human care, which is why it frustrates me to see the zoo community throw up their hands and give up rather than trying to improve our current less-than-ideal setups (*shakes my fist at the Blue World project*).

Now, I don't think it's wrong to be emotional about animals. I most definitely am! And it's very clear to me you love orcas and care about their wellbeing deeply. I admire that about you, and I appreciate your passion.

On to the next point... in the cetacean world, I've found that there is an unfortunate divide between researchers and caregivers who work with cetaceans in human care and those who study them exclusively in the wild. And that schism far predates the Blackfish era. Most of those organizations you listed are indeed legitimate, and I fully support their vital work and encourage others to do the same. A few of them, though, share things like this:

I think you can understand why this hurts me. And it's a lie. I've now interned at three aquariums (two of them AZA-accredited) that house various species of cetacean, and it's impossible for me to reconcile what I know and have seen to be true and what Whale and Dolphin Conservation wants the public to believe: that these unbelievably loved, vivacious animals are drugged and tortured by their greedy captors. It's not true, and I do not appreciate WDC for spreading this creepy artwork around. Nor do I think that fighting captivity is a beneficial allocation of resources when there is an overwhelming number of genuine threats to the survival of wild cetaceans.

Anyway, back to the scientists. Personally, I don't consider researchers who work exclusively with wild orcas to be either superior or inferior to those who work with captive whales. And sometimes I wonder how much of their position is a self-fulfilling prophecy: if someone opposes captivity on moral grounds, they won't work with captive whales, so they'll never get to know what their lives and care are like beyond maybe a single tour of the park or memories of how things were done in the 1960s (like Dr. Spong, who worked with some of the very first captive orcas at the Vancouver Aquarium).

I also don't think it diminishes the expertise of wildlife biologists to say that they are not experts on husbandry, training, or medical care... those are very different fields, and ideally, they should all inform each other. And of course, there are folks who work with both wild and captive whales. One of the reasons I linked SR3 in my previous post is they have staff with backgrounds in both managed care and research of free-ranging populations (I actually have no idea what the organization's official stance on captivity is, it's not something they address).

Maybe I'm wrong. I try my best to keep an open mind, but I know I'm also swayed by my own preconceptions and experiences. When I started this blog in December 2020, I was a first year vet student with minimal actual experience outside of domestic animals and some herps, and had only recently adopted the pro-captivity outlook. Now, I'm much more deeply involved in the zoo and aquarium world. These are people I know and respect, people who have written me letters of recommendation and comment on my Facebook posts, people I've had dinner with and showed up with after hours to care for a sick animal. And I recognize that biases me. The zoo world is often resistant to change, especially folks who have been in the industry for many years. And that doesn't do anyone, especially the animals, any good. I don't want to get stuck in an echo chamber, so I make it a point to read anti-captivity literature, even when it upsets me. If there is anything I can do to improve their lives, I want to learn about it, regardless of the source.

I try to adapt to new information. For example, in the past few months alone, I've become a lot more favorable toward the idea of sea pen habitats. My concerns about "sanctuaries" are more logisitical* and philosophical** rather than the idea that artifical habitats are inherently superior to pen habitats (they're not), especially when plenty of traditional facilites already make great use of ocean pens or enclosed lagoons. There are pros and cons to both, and a lot of it depends on the needs of the individual animals.

*funding; maintenance; lack of land-based backup pools and fully-equipped medical facilities; introducing immunologically naive animals to pollutants and infectious agents; disruptions to native wildlife; staffing activists and wildlife biologists rather than those with relevant husbandry experience

**villainizing aquariums; promoting the project as a "release to freedom" to the public when it's really another form of captivity; claiming the animals' lives will be "natural" when they will still require training, artificial enrichment, contraceptives, and social management if done correctly; downplaying or completely denying the very real risks of such a transition and insisting the animals will automatically be better off when Little White and Little Grey have proved that's not the case

If you made it to the bottom, thanks for reading. I wish all the best for you, and I mean that genuinely ❤️ even if we disagree, I hope you can appreciate our shared love for these animals and a desire for their wellbeing. Best of luck in all your endeavors!

#also no hard feelings if you unfollow me #I understand #orcas #killer whales #dolphins #cetaceans #marine mammals #animal welfare #cetacean captivity #pro captivity #anti captivity #aquariums #answered asks #anonymous

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mapledkanata · 1 day

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Overdue Skwisgaar sketches + design notes/hcs! Finally got around to redrawing my fave

+ Skwisgaar has joined the dance floor..... I do think there has been some missed potential for Skwis, Toki and Pickles collective dynamics/interactions. More Skwis and Pickles bein buddies pleas..,,,,.

Some extra Skwis notes and Skwis HCs below the cut for anyone who may be interested:

Design notes!

Slightly darker blue eyes; captures light easily when he's happy!

For eye shapes I thought about Mads Mikkelsen and Magnús Scheving as references! They both have particular facial structures I also thought about in drawing Skwis

Because of his stronger features and pallor, sometimes shadow falls harshly along his features. I find I have to be very careful when rendering his colours and keep his softness

In terms of shape language, Skwisgaar is definitely more like unconventional rectangles than he is triangles!

Decided to give the front peaks of his hair a little more volume

Rather large in proportion but his lean stature makes him unassuming standing alone

HCs!

6'4"-6'5" tall me thinks!

Autistic

He definitely maintains himself and his appearance, but doesn't really have an extensive routine.

Might comb his hair a bit at the front, showers often, is dressed in the morning etc

He also likes to keep his room organized in a particular way; along with his room reflecting a Swedish Modernist style it's incredibly minimalist!

Despite his aloofness, he can be very attentive to the ones he cares for; in other words he's definitely paying attention even when he doesn't seem like he is

He often seen staring past the wall when he's in his own head

He is so borzoi dog.......... often gives intense whale eye to people..

He is a bit of a goober but no one understands his humour 😔

I definitely think he articulates himself better speaking Swedish and has a lot of depth to offer; conversely, he struggles w/ verbally articulating his thoughts and can be generally awkward in a lot of circumstances outside of his reign of interests

Is actually a very grounded individual in terms of his outlook on life, while he often responds very dramatically, emotionally or intensely to certain things (he is so silly!)

So very desperately wants to feel seen and loved for who he is

#metalocalypse fanart #metalocalypse #mtl #mtl fanart #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar fanart #skwisgaar headcanons #mtl headcanons

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arcadiabaytornado · 2 months

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The contrast in Life Is Strange between the good vs bad nature of camera’s is so neat.

Just like anything else, a camera can be used for good or bad. On the bad side of things, it can be used for surveillance. We see this in David following around Kate and taking pictures of her because he assumes she did something wrong. She loses her right to privacy because someone wants to paint her as guilty, and cameras can do that by taking moments out of context. We see an example of that with Kate's video. She's filmed grabbing at guys to make out with, which, out of context, makes her seem like a wild party animal. However, when we speak to Kate, we learn that she was drugged and not in control.

Then we also have the more obvious example of Mark and Nathan. They both use photography to capture peoples most vulnerable moments without their consent. For them the “art” outweighs the suffering that it takes to make it.

But that doesn’t mean cameras are a bad thing! Max often uses her camera for good. She uses photography as a way to capture memories and things that make her happy. She takes photos of Chloe framed by the sun, she takes photos of squirrels trying to catch lighting bugs, she takes pictures of birds perching on rocks. And on a more heartbreaking note, if you sacrfice Chloe, you can see Max looking through a photo album of their childhood together. Those photo’s give her good memories that can hang onto.

More Undercut

Her camera isn't used maliciously, though I know people point out that Max can take photos of dark matters like the dead whales and the dead bird. Personally, I don't think these things change my argument at all. While those photos are dark in subject matter, they don't hurt anyone. Max didn't kill the whale or the birds to get that shot, unlike Nathan and Mark, who have to actively harm people to take the photos they want. And I think that’s the point. Max never had to harm anyone to take darker photos, and Mark and Nathan didn’t have to either. They choose too and that fact is highlighted by their contrast with Max.

Anyway, it’s impressive how relevant this conversation still is considering the rise of social media and the attempted normalization of filming strangers in public. We’ve seen in real life how cameras can be used for good (people can film videos of them surprising their long distance partners, they can film videos of their friends doing something sweet/silly in public, they can take a video of their dog running around the park.) or bad (Filming neurodivergent people in public acting “weird,” filming goth or “unusually” dressed people to mock them, filming a stranger crying in public for an “aesthetic” or a “This is so me.🤪” video.) It really is impressive how this conversation has only become more complicated since LIS released, but man has the subject matter in this game aged well!

#Lis #life is strange #max caulfield

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tarotphil · 22 days

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Bestie I need to know what answers corresponded to Dan or Phil

oh my gosh I’d love to share :)) take the quiz before reading below the cut!!!!! also take this as the performance art it is, I’m not genuinely assuming very specific things about dan and phil’s internal worlds lol

for Dan: love like a dog as in loyal, eager to provide a service, full blown adoration. love like a leaky faucet as in always present even when the sink is “off”. but also as in sporadic, unexpected, unavailable. (this is not a dig at dan, that is the option I would choose)

for Phil: love like an archaeologist as in dedicated to craft of discovery, careful, curious. love like a snowstorm as in all encompassing, obscuring, hungry

for Dan: Catholic guilt yeah, but also thinking on the past in a “I wish I had done it different way”

for Phil: mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. among other things his commitment to nostalgia is a type of grief.

for Dan: peeling fruit as an act of service has big dan energy. he would pass tiktok clementine theory. cannabalism bc i think he’d enjoy himself on yellowjackets Hannibal hunger as love tumblr. angels is his for a lot of reasons. I was thinking about angels as machinery, which meshes with his clean brutalism aesthetic. also angels as fallen from grace, as a subversive queer symbol

for Phil: time loops, we are back to the grief and nostalgia. but I’m also appealing to his brand of creativity here. glitch theory, fantasticalism. ghosts….. we are back to grief, but also his understanding of horror. the ocean is something I associate with phil a lot for some reason. I think it’s the mystery of it

for Dan: he’s a teddy bear, he’s so soft. he has his childhood teddy still. glowing globes for mystery, matches the aesthetic of the moon room. kiss me lollipop…… must I say more

for Phil: I was so captivated by him going “I think that’s what god looks like” in relation to the golf with friends structure. so, for phil, interesting lines and lights that evoke a feeling of reverence <3 icy stag bc I associate him with snow and the fantastical. surreal spotlight sky… I can’t explain it just is

for Dan: A Boat is a poem to me about navigating depression, I think dan would love it. Dan is SO this too shall devastate coded, I don’t think I need to explain.

for Phil: the Kyla Jamieson poem for a few reasons. Love of the natural world, but also I think it carries a sense of creative frustration? The Athena Davis poem because of how gentle it is. meditations on death, meditations on kindness

Dan and Phil: this is the only option on the quiz that gives points to both outcomes…. I want to do with you what spring does with cherry trees. That’s so them

I actually think these kinda speak for themselves

for Dan: he’s such a sensitive soul, which is why he got the heart hurt option. he puts so much of his heart into everything, so this is an acknowledgment of him not being as cerebral as he thinks. for the bones, an ache in my bones is one of the ways I visualize my depression. a bone deep heaviness

for Phil: hurt in your hands because of hands as a symbol for creativity. to me this meant an itch to create. hurt in your lungs I can really only justify by vibes. the hurt of running too hard maybe? Of a body meant to house you doing a bad job of it?

for Dan: mmm realizing I said I associate phil with the ocean which is true, but I associate Dan with whale falls. that’s all I got for that lol. for the microbiome, I love love love the human microbiome, it’s fascinating. I think dan would have a heck of a time with the idea that we’re mostly made up of non self organisms

for Phil: beauty in the small things and beauty in natural system we’re not at all a part of. nod to his love of birds, love you Steve

these are mostly all vibes, except for Phil’s sense of otherworldliness and Dan’s commitment to forward growth

for Dan: the wooden overcoats quote…… sorry not get 2009 on you. The Beatrice letters quote is a little bit “it’s awful work” “not to me, not if it’s you”. as a doctor loves his sickest patient for real

for Phil: the Mabel quote is a little bit about love as a creative I think, and a private creative at that. The love exists even if you destroy the art. the locked tomb quote, they are so dependent. he dyed his shoes green

#asks #it’s like a gag quiz but I’m also unwell about them and thought about it A Lot so #phan #Dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #robin 📢#absolutely normal uquiz

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gemsofgreece · 9 months

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10 best animated movies to watch in Greek

One of the best ways to practice a language is by watching a movie. Even more so, watching an animated movie dubbed in your target language can be really fun and useful, as these movies tend to include jokes (even inside jokes specific to the language) and songs. So, without further ado, here is my personal list of 10 best animated movies to watch in Greek.

10. Shrek 2

The reason I am recommending Shrek 2 instead of Shrek is just because I have the - maybe not standard, but certainly not unpopular - opinion that Sherk 2 is overall a funnier movie than Shrek. The Greek dub maintains successfully all the witty and somewhat adult-oriented humour. The voice casting done for characters like Donkey, Puss in Boots and Gingy is memorable and accurate.

9. Lion King

The voice casting is really good. Adult Simba has a sympathetic voice, Mufasa has a superb kingly radio voice, the hyenas are hysterical, Zazu is funny too, Nala's voice is warm and womanly. I also love Scar's voice. Scar has a sinister voice but it's a weaker, not as “thick” a voice as Mufasa’s, just like Scar relied on the evilness of his mind and not his muscles. Timon and Pumba's dub is iconic. Greek Can you feel the love and Be Prepared are fantastic versions of the songs. And Greek Mufasa just steals every scene vocally, especially those when he appears in Simba's memory.

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8. Monsters INC

Another amazing voice casting for all characters but we all (Greeks) know that this is one man's show. Christos Hatzipanayotis just KILLS it as Mike Wazowski. I believe Greek Wazowski is much funnier than the original. Also let's remember "Fovízume yatí sas frondízume" lol the Greek "We scare because we care (for you)"

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7. Finding Nemo

This dub did something special with the casting. It casted as Marlin and Dory two actors that had already worked together in a super famous comedy series as a couple. As a result, their chemistry is off the roof and Dimitra Papadopoulou's voice is incredibly accurate for Dory's character. Dory's whale language is hysterical and I also love the incredibly relaxed voice actor they found for that turtle reincarnation of Bob Marley. All other casting is good too, except I want to slap the extremely nasal Nemo.

6. Sleeping Beauty

Although I love this movie dearly and I really like its Greek version, I actually place it that high because I have found it to be really popular with foreign people. Some say they like Aurora's song better in Greek, which I find interesting as I really love the original. It is surely a masterful work though. It is an old movie and the Greek actors speak more elegantly, more sophisticatedly like people tended to, back then. The voices suit properly an aethereal princess and her dreamy prince, the fairies have these warm, elderly, ladylike voices and Maleficent also is imposing and very cold.

5. Aristocats

This is a perfect example where it is clear that both the voice casting directors and the actors worked their asses off. Every actor chosen is simply ideal for their character, including the kittens, Edgar the evil servant, the diva, the super SUPER old lawyer, the tomcats, Lady is so prim and proper, Uncle Waldo and the goose nieces with their Britsh accent Greek lol BUT. I have no idea how it dawned on them to make the dog couple have a comedic Heptanesian island accent but whoever that was, they were a bloody genius. Not only it's impeccably performed, it's twice as hilarious when you see them in an old Parisian environment speaking some really strong Heptanesian out of nowhere. The dogs in the original do not have any particularly heavy accent to my understanding, so if you watch the original after you have watched the Greek, you won't even understand they are supposed to be funny. I love that the Greek directors took the uneventful speech of the dogs and were like "Clearly, we 're gonna make them speak extreme Heptanesian" XD

4. Spirit: The Stallion of the Cimarron

Spirit has mostly narration and songs, it has very few dialogues. Its songs are amazing though and they really make a difference in the movie. In the Greek dub, both the narrating and singing role was given to singer - actor Yannis Savvidakis who is very talented. Not only he performed those songs wonderfully but I liked how well it maintained the feel of rock ballads coming from America, despite being sung in a language from a place that has nothing to do with any of this.

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3. The Emperor's New Groove

Okay, we reached the Golden Triad. The Emperor's New Groove is, simply put, the best Disney comedy to date. If we consider that the Greek version is funnier than the original, as I strongly believe, you get a comedy for the ages. The voice casting is PERFECT. Every voice chosen is like it was created for the character, the characters get life and personality through the vocal performances. Kuzco sounds blasé, egocentric, sarcastic and you want to slap him silly, Kronk sounds like a soft dumbass himbo which is what he is, Pacha is your everyday good-hearted peasant, Yzma is killing it as the old ambitious narcissist. The humour is awesome and tranferred ideally into Greek comedy. It just works on every level. I can't explain it more, it's just perfect. While this movie is unfairly obscure and underrated on a global level, in Greece it was a hit and people still remember quotes by heart, exactly beause the dub was so god-tier level.

2. The Hunchback of Notre Dame

Okay. The dub of dubs. The Dub of Notre Dame. Seriously, this is a masterpiece on every aspect. Again, this is better than the original. Esmeralda has a sensual, really beautiful speaking voice and an outstanding singing one (Alcestis Protopsalti y'all), Frollo has an ideal casting in that he sounds like a bad person but in a totally realistic way (as he is also a very realistic villain) and he sounds so very sophisticated, very elegant. Sinister and elegant, which makes total sense as in the Disney version he is the supreme justice minister of Paris. Quasimodo is voiced by Sakis Rouvas (a sexy singer with a soft voice), who a few found like a somewhat odd pairing but it works perfectly since Disney's Quasimodo is soft, sensitive and considerably sophisticated as well. Clopin's singing is done by tenor Konstantinos Paliatsaras. The songs in the Greek version are in my opinion better performed than in English. Hellfire is quite possibly the most loved villain song in Greece. A small example to understand the level of perfection; the intro song "Bells of Notre Dame" has an extremely difficult ending note that only a few versions globally managed to hit. Even the original singer struggles with the note, he hits it but a little weakly, he is very supported and almost covered by backing vocals. In other versions, even this is not possible at all and singers just skip the note. The Greek version by Paliatsaras is one of the very few where the note is hit correctly, he essentially rips it apart, but I think it is also the only version (unless something escapes me) where the lyrics were different in a way that it made a difference to the singing. All versions I have heard are a variation of the original "bells, bells, bells, bells" which prepares the crescendo / raise of the pitch and then, "of notre DAAAAAME". Greek is the only version I have listened to where a full sentence is delivered effortlessly, without a repetition of "bells". "Ke ihún pandú kambánes stin karthyá tis panaYAAAAAS". It's a full sentence instead of a convenient one-syllable word over and over. Of course, it had to be done because the word for bells in Greek (kambánes) wouldn't work but it still was a harder thing to deliver than the repetition and it was accomplished even better. Okay, in short, Oscar worthy dub. Perfect in every way. I am in love with it, you can tell. The only reason it is not first is because the first spot had to be saved for the obvious one.

1. Hercules

The obvious first spot. Of course, it doesn't take it without deserving it. Greeks really made sure to give this one even more attention to detail. So, it doesn't only feel like it's natural, it also IS the most natural one, as contemporary languages go. All voice casting is once more ideal. Hercules, or Heracles as he is of course in Greek, has a sensitive, warm, sympathetic voice. They did a great thing with Megara when they gave the role to Evridiki who has a more mature, seasoned voice which fits Megara's character and not like a girly, princessy, out-of-place voice. Famous comedian Lakis Lazopoulos steals the show in all his scenes and they are MANY, since he plays Philoktetes and Pain AND Panic, all three of them! But he can't steal the scenes where Hades is in, as Konstantinos Tzoumas is in reality the big star of the movie. First and foremost, you watch this movie for Hades. One more fantastic detail in my opinion is what they did with the Muses. So you know, the original movie Muses are singing a liberal style of American gospel. Instead of ditching it as unfitting and entirely inaccurate, the Greek directors played along with it. Most notably, one of the Muses is voiced by Julie Massino, a vocal coach and singer born and raised in the US (I don't know if she has Greek descent) who lives and works in Greece, so she has a natural and strong American accent in her Greek! I just found this so cool. It is a really cool dub. They knew the stakes were very high and they delivered down to the very last detail.

*We really had to title this: Heracles - Beyond the Myth...!

#greek #greece #disney #movies #dubbing #list #movie rec #opinion #greek facts #Youtube #long post #tw long post

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bwabys-scenarios · 8 months

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Fixer Upper

Part 16

Perv!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

part 15

part 17

!!REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!!

taglist: @fabitheraven @tsukilover11 @ashdownunderscorebeloved @lemonslut @homeinmydreams @superweeniehutjrsblog @bugmomwrites @heartsforseo @lixiawinter @altaircc @itszenava @fiightforlovee @mimi-sanisanidiot @monainanuttshell @wow-im-gay @whorermoviestar @lightshowerrr @mama-m1na @aceywaceyboobybear @nenggie @wicked-binch

If you’d like to be ADDED to the taglist, please comment a red heart ❤️, make sure you’re able to be tagged/mentioned, and have your age in your bio(IF YOU ARE ALREADY ON THE TAGLIST, YOU DON’T NEED TO ASK TO BE ADDED AGAIN!!)

(Name) opened her door, a smile on her face. “Poks, Poni! Welcome!”

The two walked in, looking around her less than impressive apartment. “Oh, wow… it’s certainly an apartment.”

Pokkle elbowed the blue haired girl, who coughed before speaking up. “What I mean is, this place is lovely.”

“Thanks Poni, but I know it… average? I mean at East there’s no pests. My last apartment had a bad rat problem.”

They both grimaced.

“Yeah, they were like the size of my arm. Thought of keeping one as a pet. I mean, they were dog sized.”

“Dog s- never mind. We brought some gifts.”

(Name) gasped when they pulled out a gift basket and pot of flowers. “Guys, you shouldn’t have!”

She placed the basket on her counter, before looking at the pot of flowers. “What are these?”

Ponzu smiled, her bees flying around the small red flowers. “They’re poppies, Poppy!”

“Poppy?”

The two smiled at her. “Yeah, it’s your nickname. You call us Poks and Poni, so we’re gonna call you poppy!”

(Name) laughed. “Oh really? Is there a reason for that name specifically?”

———————

(Name) packed her suitcase yet again after seeing off her two friends. ‘I’m going to miss them…’

She pulled her suitcase towards the airport, where she’d be meeting Gon and Killua.

It was early July, and the two had asked her to join them on whale island to catch up and train.

“(Name)!”

She gasped when she felt someone jump onto her back. “G-Gon?”

He laughed, hugging her from behind as she tried not to fall over. “Hey, did you miss me?”

The weight on her back disappeared as she heard yelling from behind her. “Gon, you idiot you can’t just jump on people!”

“Killua!”

She turned around and pulled the two boys into a hug. “I missed you both so much. My sweet boys!”

Gon laughed, Killua halfheartedly swatting her away. “Let’s get boarded, and we can talk then!”

(Name) nodded slowly as they explained what happened in Heavens Arena. “You fought Hisoka? Gon…”

She patted his cheek, the boy leaning into her touch. “I’m okay, (Name). It was a… learning experience.”

(Name) sighed before leaning back in her seat. “I understand you want to get stronger, Gon, but please be careful.”

Gon nodded. “I promise I’ll be careful!”

They arrived on whale island after around 2-4 days of travel.

“Wow, it’s been such a long time since I’ve stood on my home ground! Ahh, the air smells so good!”

The two sniffed the air as (Name) pulled her suitcase behind them. “So, where’s your house?”

“We gotta take a bus to your house, right?”

“There aren’t any buses!”

(Name) hummed as she walked around, stopping by a market stall. She bought some bread and cheese, walking back to the two boys as they continued talking.

“It’ll take all night to get there? What are we going to eat?”

Gon held up his apple, and (Name) laughed. “Well good thing I grabbed extra.”

The three walked along the river, eating the food (Name) got along with the apples the captain gave them.

Early the next morning, the three spotted Gon’s house. (Name) trailed behind them, Gon pulling her suitcase.

“Aunt Mito, I’m back!”

Aunt Mito waved at them from the porch, (Name) sighing in relief. ‘Oh thank god.’

Killua and (Name) blinked when Gon sprinted off to hug Aunt Mito. They watched as they chatted for a moment, then Aunt Mito looked up.

“Oh, are these two friends of yours?”

“Yeah, we met during the Hunter Exam! She’s (Name), and he’s Killua!”

Aunt Mito smiled at the two. “Oh right, the ones your wrote about in your letter!”

(Name) gave them a polite greeting. “Hello, thank you so much for allowing us to stay.” she elbowed killua to get him to give a greeting as well.

“Hello…”

“Gon this is the first time you’ve ever brought home some friends to visit! (Name), Killua, right? I’m Gon’s Aunt Mito, I hope you two feel right at home!”

They followed her inside, (Name) setting her suitcase by the door. The two peeked inside it, both having places their extra clothes in as well.

“I really wish you would have let me know before hand you were coming home, I could of prepared something.” Aunt Mito said with a sigh, taking out ingredients.

(Name) hovered around the kitchen, feeling a bit useless.

“Whatever you’ve got is fine!” Gon said, grabbing (Name)’s hand and pulling her towards the living room.

“Well you knows it’s not every day we have guests in the house!”

“No, really, it’s fine.” Killua replied to Aunt Mito.

“I could help if you need it, I promise!” (Name) said, peeking into the kitchen again. Aunt Mito waves her off.

“You’re a guest dear, you just relax, I’m sure the journey here was tough on you.”

(Name) twiddled her thumbs, the two boys standing on either side of her.

“Now that you mention it we are kind of hungry. We’ve been walking since last night, so yeah!” Gon said, leaning his head against (Name)’s arm.

“Well I guess that explains why you three are so dirty. (Name) why don’t you go take a bath in my room? Gon, Killua, you two can use the big bathroom down the hall.”

“Wait right now?”

“Yes, just leave me your clothes. I’ll wash them later.”

(Name) gave her a polite nod before walking towards the room she pointed to.

After a nice shower, she walked back to the kitchen, sitting at the table. “Miss Mito, are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help?”

“Just Mito is fine, and it’s almost ready. You could help set the table, though!”

(Name) jumped up at this. “On it!”

Killua and Gon walked into the room, both now clean and wearing different clothes. The girl couldn’t help but squeeze their cheeks. “Aww, I think this is the first time I’ve seen you both all nice and clean.”

She gave them a hug before continuing her work. Killua followed behind her like a lost puppy, occasionally jumping back when she’d turn around.

‘Haha, he doesn’t want her to know he’s following her!’ Gon thought, snickering.

(Name) helped Mito set the table, patting Killua’s head as she took her seat. “Hungry?”

He nodded slowly, (Name) giggling at his excited face.

“This tastes great!” Killua said, happily munching on an omelette. (Name) nodded in agreement.

“You think so?”

“I told you Aunt Mito’s cooking is the best in the world!”

“Mito, you’ve got to show me how you got these omelettes to be so fluffy!”

The red haired woman laughed, basking in the compliments. “Of course!”

As they ate, Mito passed out more food,

“Here, try these.”

Killua stared at the red peppers, picking them off his plate and placing them on another.

“Killua! You really shouldn’t pick at your food like that. Don’t you know red peppers are good for you? You should at least try it.”

“Ahaha, actually I’m not really a big fan of these. Sorry.”

“Oh good, at least you’re not allergic to them! They’re delicious. Go ahead and take a bite, you’ll know what I mean.”

“She’s right Killua. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Ahh! Mom, quick, get a towel!”

———————

The two left to go play in the forest nearby, leaving (Name) with Aunt Mito.

“So, how was your experience with the Hunter Exam?”

(Name) sighed, sitting down in front of her. “Exhausting, but…”

She glanced down at her phone’s Home Screen, smiling to herself. “I met a lot of important people there. Gon and Killua included. You raised a really sweet boy, Mito.”

Mito laughed, handing her a cup of tea. “I would hope so. Tell me, what was he like during the exam? He wouldn’t tell me everything, and I would like to know more.”

(Name) told her as much information as she could without potentially getting her younger friend in trouble. Mito nodded along, giggling when she saw how hot (Name)’s face got when she talked about Kurapika.

“So, this Kurapika… you like him, don’t you?”

(Name) sighed, hiding her flushed face. “Is it that easy to tell?”

Mito laughed. “Yes, it is. He must be quite special to have caught the attention of a sweet girl like you.”

They talked into the evening, and this time Mito allowed (Name) in the kitchen to help her cook. She taught her several tips and tricks, (Name) writing each one down.

The two boys got back all dirty again, being scolded and told to go take another bath. After that, they all ate dinner together.

“Time for bed, you two. I’ll be up in a moment, okay?”

Mito blinked when the two immediately listened to (Name)’s words. After the two were out of sight, (Name) realized what she’d done. “Oh, sorry Mito! I’ve just gotten used to taking care of them.”

“No, please don’t be sorry for that. I can’t tell you how thankful I am knowing Gon had someone like you by his side during the Hunter Exam.”

They shared a smile, before (Name) got up and stretched. “I should be getting to bed too. First I need to go say goodnight to both of them.”

She waved to Mito before walking to their shared room.

“(Name)!”

Gon was about to leap out of bed to greet her, but stopped when she shook her head. “Wait there, I’m coming.”

(Name) sat down beside him and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Goodnight, Gon. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, (Name)!”

She move on to Killua, who was impatiently waiting for her. She gave him a peck on the forehead. “Goodnight, Killua. Sweet dreams…”

She gave him another forehead kiss when he pouted at her. “And one more for good luck!”

The white haired boy swatted her away halfheartedly again, (Name) laughing. “Oh, I get it, you want me to go, huh?”

She stood up, about to leave before Killua grabbed her arm. She glanced back at him inquisitively, the boy unsure why he’d done that himself.

“… could you stay a little longer? Just until we fall asleep?”

(Name) took a second to register this request. ‘Where did this come from?’

Nevertheless, she sat back down, the boy snuggling up onto her lap. She hummed quietly as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Unbeknownst to them, Mito watched the scene from outside the door. ‘How cute…’

———————

(Name) woke up when she felt someone kick her. “Ow…”

She blinked her eyes open to see killua snuggled up against her, having kicked her in his sleep. ‘Did I fall asleep in the boys room?’

She attempted to get up, but the boy clinging to her grumbled at that. She glanced at the window to see it was still night time, maybe early morning. (Name) settled back into bed, making herself comfortable before going back to sleep.

“Alright boys, (Name), it’s time to get up!”

“Yes, Aunt Mito!”

Killua and (Name) groaned when the boy shook them. “Wake up!”

The sun peaked in through the window, shining down on the pair. Night was over, and (Name) had to use the bathroom.

“Okay, Killua, you gotta let go of me now.”

The boy didn’t answer, only cuddling into her closer. “Gon, can I get some help here?”

Gon ran over and grabbed Killua, pulling him away so (Name) could escape. She watched in amusement as the boy searched for her in his sleep, handing him a pillow to be her substitute.

After using the bathroom, she returned to the boys room to make sure Killua was up. He was, but barely. (Name) opened up her suitcase and laid out a pair of clothes for him to change into before going to her own room to unpack.

She unlocked her phone, scrolling to Kurapika’s contact and attempting to call him.

‘Oh, no service…’

For some reason, this made her… nervous. She would be alright going a few days without speaking to him because she knew it was because she didn’t have any service.

But he wouldn’t know.

Kurapika paced, his nen master raising an eyebrow an eyebrow at his unusual behavior. “What’s up with you, Kurapika? You’re acting strange.”

The blonde huffed, pulling his phone out and glancing at the time. On whale island, it should be around 10 am, and they usually called at 8 am her time every morning.

“Nothing. Nothing at all.”

His pacing continued. “Are you thinking of that girl again?”

Kurapika paused, shooting his master a look. “Tansy none of your business.”

“It is when it’s affecting your training.”

He sighed, sitting down in front of his master. ‘Is she really affecting my training?’

(Name) sighed. The day had passed by quickly, Gon and Killua watching a movie she downloaded on her phone as she folded laundry before bed.

“We’re gonna get the internet set up in two days, then you’ll be able to contact Kurapika again.”

Gon was trying to reassure her, but she could only continue holding to keep her mind off of it.

Kurapika tossed and turned again that night. He struggled to sleep without the sound of her sleeping on the phone. He slid open his phone and listened to a voice message she sent.

‘Hey, Pika, I just found the cutest dress! I’ll send you a picture in a minute. But before that, let me tell you about the crazy day I had!’

He chuckled as the message continued, eyes getting heavy as she explained her day. Kurapika clutched his blanket, chest feeling heavy.

‘Have I gotten so used to her that sleeping without her is impossible?’

Kurapika was able to drift off, but not peacefully. The weight of this knowledge weighed heavy on his heart.

‘Can’t… can’t keep going on like this.’

———————

“Once you got that cable hooked up, we should be able to access the internet!” Killua said, directing Gon.

(Name) eat near them, occasionally handing Gon tools.

“Gon?”

The boy leaped up to peer over the roof at Mito. “Yes?”

“I’m going out for a little while, could you watch the place?”

“Yeah, okay!”

“Thanks, I appreciate it!”

Gon glanced at (Name) and Killua, giggling to himself. The two ended up watching Mito’s bar.

Killua sat behind the counter, looking sleepy as (Name) swept the floors. When she heard him yawn, she made sure to finish up so she could carry him home to nap.

Unfortunately, he fell asleep before she was finished. (Name) shook her head at the boy, picking him up carrying him to his room so he could sleep peacefully.

When she tried to untangle the boy and lay him down, he grumbled again and refused to let go. ‘Oh, Killua…’ she thought, lying down with him. ‘Good thing Mito’s mother saw us leave…’

She attempted to keep herself awake, humming to the boy as he slept, but couldn’t help dozing off with him.

(Name) rubbed her eyes as she woke up, glancing out the window to see Mito cutting Gon’s hair.

“Oh, you two are awake! You both fell asleep on the job.” Gon said, Mito moving his head to trim the other side.

“Gon! Are you getting your hair cut?” Killua asked, climbing off of the bed.

“Yeah, it was getting kind of long.”

“Okay, now how about you? Do you want a haircut? Looks like you can use a trim.” Mito asked.

Killua glanced between the scissors and Mito, (Name) picking up on his anxieties.

“I can cut your hair, Killua.”

This made him sigh in relief. “Yes, that sounds good.”

(Name) sat him down in a chair outside, wrapping a towel around the white haired boy. “Wow, Killua, your hair is so soft…”

She ruffled his hair, causing Killua to huff. “Hey, I said you could cut it, not play with it.”

(Name) laughed, beginning to trim it. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just…”

She ran her fingers through his hair, humming. “You’re kind of like a dandelion. Hmm…”

She closed her eyes, then blew on his hair. The boy laughed, swatting at her half heartedly. “Hey, what was that for?”

“I just made a wish! They say if you blow on a dandelion and make a wish, it comes true!”

Gon nodded, sitting on the ground next to them. “Oh, I heard of that too! Aunt Mito said you gotta close your eyes and wish with all of your heart!”

Killua tilted his head. “Really? I never heard of that… so, (Name), what did you wish for?”

She giggled, continuing with his haircut. “Can’t tell you that, silly, then it won’t come true!”

Killua closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of his hair being cut. ‘Hmm… this is nice.’

———————

Kurapika jumped when he heard his phone ring. He scrambled over to it, heart soaring when he saw (Name)’s contact.

“(Name)!”

He melted when he heard her giggle on the other end of the line. “Pika! Sorry for the wait, whale island has like no signal! Gon and Killua just got the Wi-Fi set up here, so I can at least call.”

“Oh…”

Several situations of why she hadn’t called had gone through his mind. They ranged from her forgetting, to purposefully not calling him, to her being injured or even dead. Not once did he stop to think there may be a simpler explanation like not having service.

“I’m having so much fun though! Toady Mito, or well Gon’s Aunt Mito taught me how to make the fluffiest omelettes! I can’t wait to make one for you, Pika!”

Although his tummy filled with butterflies at the thought of making something specifically for him, he couldn’t let those fuzzy feelings linger. “(Name), I need to… ask something of you.”

She went quiet, before nodding. “Go ahead, Pika.”

He inhaled, hand shaking as he looked down at her contact photo. It was the picture of her kissing his cheek, something he would never be able to forget.

“… never mind, it’s nothing. Please, tell me more about your time on Whale Island so far.”

Although she could tell he wanted to say something, she didn’t want to push him. After all, if it was something important, he’d tell her when he was ready.

After a few hours of mindless chatting, Kurapika ended the call. He bit his lip, swiping through the pictures (Name) had sent him.

He stared down at the pair of earrings she’d sent him for his birthday, holding them up to the light. They were rubies that dangled on silver chains, and he had been meaning to wear them.

Kurapika took the first one out of the box, eyes softening. They were beautiful, and he didn’t want to think about how much she spent on them. He put the first one on, using a stream as a mirror.

‘Pretty…’

Kurapika might not look like it, but he was a fan of jewelry. He tried to hide this little interest of his, not wanting to come across as greedy. After all, Kurapika was after people that collected disgusting things, he didn’t want to be associated with them in the slightest.

But right now, he allowed himself to stare at the dangling jewel, turning his head in different directions to watch it glitter in the setting sun.

He put the other one in before standing up. With a final look at himself in the stream, he knew what he had to do.

When the awful thought of (Name) possibly being hurt or kidnapped because of her ties to him crossed his mind, his immediate reaction was to do anything to get her back. And that… scared him. How had he let himself grow so attached to a person, let himself get so… soft?

Was he really willing to not only put her in danger, but jeopardize his mission because of her? If it came down between her and defeating the Phantom Troupe or collecting the scarlet eyes, what would he choose?

Kurapika scrolled to her contact, sliding to the left and pressing mute. ‘I can’t… I can’t allow myself to grow soft. She’s… she’s becoming a liability.’

He opened up his satchel, pulling out the small postcard she had sent along with the earrings.

“Though they dull in comparison to your scarlet eyes, I thought rubies would be the closest to complimenting them. Happy 18th birthday Pika, I hope I can celebrate it with you next year!”

-Love, (Name)

He felt tears well up in his eyes. Kurapika was really about to go through with it.

‘I’m such a coward, couldn’t even tell her that I could never see her again…’

He stuffed the note back into his satchel, throwing it over his shoulder.

“Master, I’m ready.”

———————

(Name) hummed to herself, taking a picture of her new pajamas and sending it to Kurapika and Leorio before leaving the bathroom.

Like usual, Leorio was quick to respond.

Oreo: looks great, sunshine!

She giggled, sending him a quick text back.

(Name): thanks, Leorio! Can’t wait to see you this September!!

(Name) waited for Kurapika to respond, eyebrows furrowing when five minutes passed without a response. ‘Hmm, he must be busy…’

“(Name), help!”

The girl looked up to see the boys rushing into the bathroom past her, Gon carrying something in his arms.

“(Name) knows medical stuff, she should be able to help!��

Gon pulled her into the bathroom, showing her some type of small cub. “Oh, Gon…”

The poor thing was panting, barely hanging on to life. They moved out of her way, allowing her to badge its wounds and place it on a towel.

“Gon, sweetheart…”

She was trying to think of how to deliver the new that the little cub wouldn’t make it when they began fighting.

“No way, I’m not gonna let you do that!” Gon exclaimed, pushing his friend away.

“Get out of the way, it’s too late! Listen to his breathing, he can’t be saved so I’m putting him out of his misery!” Killua said.

“No, you can’t kill him!”

“He’s not going to survive!”

“No, he will okay, because (Name) and I are gonna help him!”

“Ugh! That’s it, out of my way!”

(Name) stepped forward, pushing the two apart. “Hey, this isn’t a time to be fighting!”

“That cub is dying, so I just want to put an end to its suffering! Isn’t that obvious? It’s not going to survive, so it’s stupid to try and save it.”

“Killua…”

She grunted when she felt his sharpened nails pierce her skin. “I know you just want to end its suffering, but right now it’s alive, and I won’t let you be responsible for another living beings death!”

He stepped back a little, retracting his claws as his eyes bore into his hands. Blood, HER blood was coating his fingertips.

“Killua, let me shoulder this burden, okay? You’re a child, you shouldn’t be responsible for this.”

He sat down, bringing his knees to his chest. “But… killing is all I know.”

The room was silent for a moment, only the sound of the small animal panting able to be heard.

“Wait, we do know a way Killua! Our nen, we can use our nen to save the cub! Like when Wing transmitted his aura into us! Remember? He taught us that every living thing has its own aura!”

(Name) watched at the white haired boy perked up. ‘Nen?’

“You’re right… if we can enhance the aura of that cub, he could make it. It’s worth a try!”

The two approached the cub, their hands hovering over it. The air felt strange, like there was static surrounding her.

“Watch this, (Name). It’s something we learned in Heavens Arena.” Gon said, beckoning her forward.

“Let’s take it slow at first, we don’t want to risk hurting it.” Killua replied, glancing at (Name)’s bleeding arm.

For the next hour, the two kept their hands over the cub. (Name) gasped when she noticed it’s condition stabling, laughing. “It’s working, oh my god!”

The next morning, the three watched as the cub joined its father by the lake. (Name) stood behind the two, smiling.

“That was a very important thing you did, Killua.”

He turned, lip quivering. “Uh, thanks… ya know…”

His fingers ghosted over the bandage on her arm, eyes beading with tears. “I’m sorry.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “Don’t be. It was an accident.”

Gon ran over to them. “Okay, they’re gone! Let’s go home.”

“Alright then, it’s best we do before Mito gets worried.”

She kneeled down and brought to two into a hug, giving each a kiss on the forehead. “I’m so proud of you two.”

Killua closed his eyes contentedly, holding onto the back of her shirt and Gon giggled.

————————

(Name) waved to the two boys from the boat as she left whale island. “I’ll see you two in August! Be safe, boys!”

“We’ll miss you, (Name)!” Gon yelled as Killua waved to her shyly by his side.

The three made plans for them to stay at (Name)’s apartment to save money while they were in York New. It was a good idea, considering how expensive the housing could be there.

After their night of saving the cub, the two taught her about nen, though she still didn’t understand it. Apparently a teacher was supposed to come and train her soon.

(Name) began planning for their arrival as soon as she got home. She had two Hunter missions she needed to go on before September 1st, both simple body guarding jobs. After that, she’d have enough money to put a good amount into savings, and the rest could be used for rent and groceries.

Every day until September 1st, (Name) called Kurapika. He didn’t answer her calls, her texts, nothing. She was always left on delivered.

(Name) knew it was probably because he was busy with work, but she couldn’t help but worry for her dear friend.

‘I miss him…’

She held a hand over her heart, feeling it thump against her chest painfully. Her heart was aching, yearning for him. All (Name) wanted was to hear his voice again, to know he still thought about her.

That he still cared.

She set down her phone after calling him again, sighing. ‘It’s only one more week, then I’ll see him again. I’m sure he’s just been too busy with training and his new job…’

Ever the optimistic woman, (Name) continued working on getting her apartment ready for guests.

——————

(Name) yawned, waiting at the airport on an early August morning.

“(Name)!”

Yes again, Gon jumped onto (Name), this time she was waiting with open arms. He laughed as she spun him around, squeezing him out. “Hey, Gon!”

Killua walked up, scolding his friend for being so tough with her. “Killua!”

She pulled him into a hug, the boy relaxing. “It’s nice to see you again, (Name).”

She their hair before leading them to her van. “Let’s get going, we’ll drop your bags off at my place and then you two can explore to your hearts content.”

The two grabbed a snack from her fridge before leaving to do some research. “Be back before dinner time, okay? I promised your Aunt Mito that I’d take care of you, and that means not letting you two only eat junk food!”

“Yes, (Name)!”

They waved as they raced out of her apartment.

‘With those two’s appetites, I’ll have to go grocery shopping to have enough for dinner…’

(Name) pulled on her shoes on, leaving her key under the rug. She sent Killua a quick text before leaving.

(Name): Headed into town, if you two come back before I get home, my keys are under the rug! There’s snacks and drinks in the fridge!

Dandelion: thanks, (Name). Gon says be safe

She giggled to herself, placing her phone in her pocket.

Later that night, the two returned home grumpy, butting heads with each other as they entered the door.

“What happened with you two?” (Name) asked as she pulled off her apron. They relaxed slightly when the scent of dinner hit their noses.

“Killua lost all our money!”

“Hey, you gotta lose money to make money!”

(Name) sighed. “Boys, sit down. We can talk about it after dinner.”

They were quiet as they ate, (Name) smiling as they inhaled their food. It was obvious they were starving after running around the city all day.

“Okay, you two start talking and I’ll get the table cleaned up.”

They began explaining what happened, (Name) nodding along as she cleared the plates and started washing dishes. “Hmm, well I see both of your points. Killua did take a big risk and lost a lot of money, but Gon’s method was too slow and wouldn’t have made enough money by the time the auction started.”

She place a piece of cake in front of both of them. “You can think about what to do in the morning, rest and have some cake.”

Gon sighed, giving her a smile. “Sorry for troubling you, (Name).”

She shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. You’re my friends, I’ll do everything I can to help you accomplish your goals, Gon.”

After dessert, (Name) tucked the two into bed, glad she had a spare bedroom. “Goodnight, boys. My room is right down the hall if you need me.”

She smiled before closing the door behind her.

———————

A week passed by, September 1st finally arriving. (Name) woke up early, making a big breakfast and calling Kurapika yet again.

‘Still no answer…’

Now that was strange. They were supposed to be meeting September 1st, so it didn’t make sense for him not answer. ‘He… he’s probably still busy with his job.’

That excuse was getting harder to believe, but she shook the frown from her face and smiled. “Boys, breakfast is ready!”

The two came racing into the kitchen, making their plates before sitting at the table to eat. “Thanks, (Name)!”

As they finished their food, Gon looked up. “Are you coming with us today? Leorio supposed to be meeting us in the market.”

(Name) nodded, taking their cleared plates. “Yeah, give me 15 minutes to get dressed.”

She threw on a pair of jeans and a warm cardigan and followed the Gon and Killua to the market.

(Name) trailed behind the two as they walked, occasionally stopping at stalls to browse their wares. She wanted to get everyone a little gift to give them when they all met up. So far she had something for Gon and Leorio, only needing to shop for Kurapika and Killua.

She considered getting Kurapika more jewelry, after all he’d been incredibly happy with the earrings she’d gifted him, but decided against it. She didn’t want to give him a similar gift twice in a row, so it would have to be something else.

“A cellphone?”

“Yeah! Kurapika was planning on getting here yesterday, and Leorio will be meeting us here, so a cellphone will come in handy.”

(Name) perked up at Gon’s words, the girl drifting closer to listen.

“Kurapika said he has an assignment, so he might not have time to see us…”

She blinked. ‘He told Gon that but not… me?’

“An assignment?”

“Mhm. He said if he has free time he’ll call, and who knows when that could be. So that’s why I want a cellphone.”

Her heart sank at the thought of not being able to see Kurapika. She’d been so excited, and the thought of seeing him again had been the only reason she kept going at times. Gon sensed this, quickly waving his hands. “Oh, but I’m sure he’ll at least want to see you, (Name)! You know he has a soft spot for you!”

She sighed, ruffling the boys hair. “Yeah…”

She pushed her worry away, rubbing her arm as the salesman spoke.

“You want a deal? Here you go! This phone is the latest thing. It’s small, thin, and light and it comes with a GPS system to help you find your way around.”

“What do you think?” Killua asked Gon as he absentmindedly patted (Name)’s arm in an attempt to comfort her.

“Well, the price is right and it would fit in my pocket… yeah I think I’ll take it.”

“You don’t want that one.”

The three started to slowly turn around, (Name)’s eyes brimming with tears.

“You can’t roam with it and it’s not even waterproof. I’d go with this one over here if I were you.”

“Leorio!”

“Yo!”

(Name) jumped into his arms, the man spinning her around as they both laughed. “Leoriooo! I missed you!”

“Right back at you, sunshine.”

He kissed her forehead, causing her to break out into giggles. The two boys glanced at each other.

“Is it just me, or do they seem a lot closer now?” Killua whispered to Gon.

“Well, living together for nearly four months will do that.”

Leorio got them their phones, and began walking back to (Name)’s apartment. “Are you staying with me too, Leorio?”

“Nah, I got my own hotel. Don’t wanna make your apartment too crowded.”

“Aww, but I slept in your bed with you for months! I promise I don’t mind.”

Leorio blushed at that, the two boys laughing at his reaction. "Hey, don't say that in front of them."

"Why? It's not like we did anything."

She giggled, the taller man's face going red. "Hey!Quiet down.”

They say in (Name's apartment, using her computer to look up information as she prepared some snacks.

"Hey, sunshine, can you grab me a beer?"

"Coming up!”

Killua scoffed, flicking the man on the back of head.

"Why are you acting like she's your little housewife? You can get it yourself.”

"Hey! (Name), Killua is picking on me!"

'What is he, a kid?'

(Name) came back carrying a tray of snacks in her hands and a beer under her arm. "Here, Leorio." She set down the tray before kissing his cheek. "Find anything yet?"

He sighed, cheeks turning pink. "A few things."

‘What the hell is their relationship!?' Killua thought, eyebrow twitching.

Before the three left to start a conditional auctioning, (Name) stopped Leorio.

“Has…”

She held onto his sleeve, staring down at the floor. “Has Pika talked to you recently?”

Leorio raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, a few days ago he informed me he had a new job. Has he not been in contact with you?”

(Name) seemed to deflate slightly. “He… hasn’t talked to me in a month…”

This seemed to genuinely surprise Leorio, the man taking a step back. “What?! A month? But the two of you were calling every day, even falling asleep on the phone together!”

She groaned. “I know! It’s so weird. I’ve been telling myself it’s because he’s just busy but…”

Now it was hard to hang onto that excuse. “Hey, I’m sure there’s some reason he hasn’t called. To be fair, he’s only texted me a handful of times this month.”

She nodded slowly, looking up. “Yeah…”

Gon held her hand. “I’m sure he wouldn’t ignore you on purpose. Kurapika cares about you a whole lot! There has to be a reason! I bet his new job has been suuuper time consuming!”

“Yeah!”

(Name) smiled, the boy grinning back. “There we are! I love your smile, (Name)!”

She giggled, ruffling his hair. “You little charmer. You boys go on, I’ll have dinner ready when you all get back.”

She waved them off and closed the door behind them.

“Oh, Pika…”

She sank to the floor, holding her phone in her hand. Her finger hovered over the call button, but before she could call him again, she stopped.

‘He won’t answer, anyway.’ she thought bitterly, picking herself up.

(Name) brushed her pants off before lightly smacking her cheeks. ‘I can’t think like that. I gotta trust him. He said he’d always be there for me! I just have to… I just have to believe in him!’

She grabbed her purse, throwing it over her shoulder before running out the front door. ‘I’ll get some grocery shopping done. Maybe I’ll even find presents for them!’

——————

(Name) finished her shopping, having secured a gift for both Kurapika and Killua. She hummed to herself, glancing down at her grocery list.

“Need more celery, milk, eggs… ouch!”

(Name) tumbled to the ground, quickly gathering her things. “Watch it, girl.”

(Name) looked up to see a man glaring daggers at her. This didn’t bother her, though. No, (Name) jumped up and began frantically checking over the stranger. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I wasn’t paying attention. Did you get hurt? I have bandaids in my ba-“

The man stepped out of her way before he continued walking. “Tch, annoying.”

She blinked, crouching back down to pick up the rest of her things when she spotted it.

A wallet. There was nothing to identify the man with inside of it, only a few unmarked bills and a picture of a group of children. She tilted her head. “Sir, sir you dropped your-“

But he was gone. (Name) smacked a hand over her forehead. ‘Maybe I’ll bump into him again. Can’t leave it here…’

She stuffed the wallet into her backpack, sighing. (Name) pouted at her scraped elbow, taking out a bandaid and slapping it onto her wound before walking away.

As the sun began to set, (Name) started cooking dinner. The boys would be out late, meaning she could really take her time.

After hours of arm wrestling, Gon walked into her apartment, the other two trailing behind him.

“Just in time, dinner is ready!”

Leorio nodded sleepily, sitting down at the kitchen table to eat dinner. “Leorio, why don’t you stay here tonight? York New is dangerous during the day, it’s suicide to be walking around at night.”

Leorio munched on his dinner as he thought this over. “Alright. Hope your bed is big enough for the both us of.”

“Probably!”

——————

(Name) attempted to untangle herself from her tall friend the next morning, whining. “Leorio, gotta pee!”

“Five more minutes…”

He turned over, pulling her along with him. ‘Now I remember why I moved.’

“KILLUA! GON!”

The two came rushing in, Gon slipping and falling on Leorio’s pants he’d thrown off in the middle of the night. “You pervert, I should have known!”

Killua bonked him on the head, pulling him off the bed and throwing him at the hall. “Woah- MY BACK!”

(Name) was too busy wobbling to the bathroom to notice the two laying into the taller man, rubbing her sleepy eyes.

When she got back, she had to separate the three as they rolled on the floor. “Okay, okay, let him go.”

The four ate breakfast in silence, poor Leorio having a swollen cheek and several bruises. “Sorry, Leorio. You kind of have a reputation…”

Leorio sighed. “It’s alright. You two coming to protect (Name) like that is what you should do.”

But Leorio still tripped Killua when they walked out the door that morning, muttering something about payback. “Don’t wait up on us, sunshine. We’ll be out until the early morning.”

(Name) lingered by the door. “Are you sure you don’t want me to pack you some lunches, then? I-“

He silenced her with a peck on the forehead. “You’re too sweet. You just sit nice and pretty, and I’ll bring you home something nice, alright?”

(Name) felt her face heat up at his words, and to get him back, she fluttered her eyelashes at him. “Leorio, baby, not in front of the kids…”

He attempted to stutter out a response, only for his tongue to be tied. (Name) laughed and pushed him out of the door. “Byee! Don’t get into too much trouble!”

The entire day was spent doing chores, cleaning the house, making premade meals, and standing around waiting for Kurapika to call.

“Hmm…”

She stared at her phone that sat on the table, tilting her head one way then the other. “Hmmmmm…… okay I’m going to call him again.”

Ring…

“You gonna answer that?”

Kurapika didn’t answer the brute in front of him, only glancing at his phone to see (Name)’s smiling contact photo lighting up the screen. His heart thumped against his chest for just a moment before he steadied himself.

“Where do you want to die?”

“Some place where we won’t cause a disturbance, because you’ll be making a lot of noise when I kill you.”

Uvogin allowed the blonde to leave and grab something.

A shovel, but not just any shovel.

Kurapika stood in front of the storing shed in the back of (Name)’s apartment building. He glanced up to her window, a faint smile on his face when he spotted her silhouette twirling around in what he assumed was her kitchen.

‘That’s how it should be. Her unaware and happy while I carry this heavy burden.’

He put in the combination to the lock around the shed, remembering she told him it was her birthday 2 months ago.

‘Still the same combination? That’s not safe…’

He scolded himself for thinking this. ‘I shouldn’t care, I have more important things to worry about.’

Kurapika searched the shed until he spotted what he was after. ‘There it is…’

It wasn’t perfect, but would do in this situation. It was a large snow shovel, one she’d bought when she moved to York New and found out the snow was heavy in the winter. He didn’t have the heart to tell her at the time that the snow was shoveled by volunteers, meaning it would be useless to her.

But now it would be useful to him.

Kurapika closed the shed and carefully clicked the lock closed, attempting to make it seem like it hadn’t been open in the first.

——————

Kurapika shoveled dirt onto Uvogin’s corpse, eye blank. He glanced down at his dear friends snow shovel, only feeling slightly guilty as the evident dents in the metal.

‘She would forgive me. She always does.’

He made the long journey back to York New, slipping into the back of (Name)’s apartment building. Gone was the careful Kurapika who had been there a few hours before, now he shoved the dirty, bloody shovel into the shed, kicking the door when it caught on the ground.

He didn’t even both to make it seem like it hadn’t been tampered with, he was much too tired, much too emotionally and physically spent to care.

Kurapika lingered near (Name)’s apartment, feeling his legs nearly buckle as he attempted to walk away.

‘Have to… have to go. Can’t stay or…’

He’d subconsciously arrived at her doorstep, hand already reaching out to knock. Before he could stop himself, he knocked on the door twice.

“Be there in a second!”

His lip trembled at the sound of her voice. More than anything, he wanted to be with her right now. Kurapika had just gone through so much, he’d taken his first life.

The door opened slowly, and he pushed himself in, collapsing in her arms. “P-Pika?”

(Name) wasn’t sure how to feel in the moment. Her Pika had returned to her, but not in the way she had expected.

He was covered in blood, face pale and dirty. His clothes were torn, and she wasn’t sure what he’d been through.

“Pika? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Kurapika shook his head slowly, his grip on her tightening when she attempted to set him down. “Okay, okay… let’s try breathing in and out, okay?”

She sat down on the floor, allowing him to bury his head into her shoulder as he caught his breath. It was like standing on his own was impossible then, and he needed her support.

“Alright… there you go.”

She brushed his hair back to get a good look at his face. His eyes were a faint red, face covered in dirt and dried blood. She cupped his cheek, not caring a single bit about the mess collecting on her hand.

“Pika… what can I do? Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head, leaning into her touch. “Okay… let’s try some yes or no questions. Shake your head for no, nod for yes.”

He patiently waited for her to continue, eyes fluttering closed. “Do you want to take a bath?”

He nodded, head leaning forward to nuzzle against her shoulder. Although the circumstances weren’t perfect, it still felt nice to have her Pika with her again, especially when he was pulling her closer to him. It reminded her of the Hunter Exam, when they never went long without another.

“Okay, let’s get to the bathroom sweetheart.”

She struggled under his weight as she guided him to the bathroom. He didn’t talk the entire time, silent as she set him on the edge of the tub.

(Name) drew him a bath, occasionally having to struggle out of his grip. He kept a hand on her shirt the entire time, and when she strayed too far he pulled her into his arms, whimpering against her hair. “Pika, I’m not leaving, I’m just grabbing a towel…”

After his bath was ready, she attempted to walk out of the bathroom to give him some privacy.

“Pikaa…”

He was stopping her from leaving again, pulling her back by her hips. “Pika, what do you want?”

He gave her no answer, only pawing at her form like a sad puppy. Thinking he just wanted her near, she turned her head so he could get undressed. After five minutes, she turned to see he hadn’t made any moves to undress at all.

She shook her head in exasperation. “Okay, lift up your arms.”

He did so without question, (Name) pulling his shirt and undershirt off of him. When she moved to hook her thumbs under his pants, it was like he snapped awake from a dream.

Kuraoika shooed her hands away, face a light pink. She raised an eyebrow, then turned around so he could get undressed and sink into the warm water.

She turned back around and sighed. He was just sitting, knees pulled to his chest. “Pika…”

She sat at the edge of the tub, using a cup to wet his hair. Again, he leaned against her, soaking her shirt. “Aww, Pika…”

(Name) didn’t mind that much, though. She knew he wasn’t in the best headspace right now, and wanted to do whatever she could to help.

She washed his hair, giggling when he smiled at the feeling of her fingers massaging soap into his scalp. “That feel nice, Pika?”

He nodded against her, attempting to nuzzle into her soft tummy against but she pushed him back a little. “Hey, mister, you’re still wet. Wait until after your bath!”

He grumbled at that, but listened. She washed his upper half as much as possible, looking away as she washed his chest.

“Okay, Pika. I’m not going any further than that, you’ll have to take over sweetheart.”

She grabbed his hand and placed the rag in it. He stared at the rag, unmoving.

“Pika.”

“…”

“Pika you’ve gotta wash yourself.”

“…”

She took in a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I love you, so much. So much.”

She grabbed the rag and turned her head as she washed his legs, the blonde lifting his leg slightly. (Name) wanted to laugh. Usually Kurapika was very independent and easily embarrassed, but now he was completely naked, allowing her to see him at his most vulnerable and leaning into her touch.

But she didn’t laugh. That wouldn’t be right in her mind. Her friend had been through something traumatizing enough to the point he had gone nonverbal. And she couldn’t laugh at that.

“Okay, Pika, you’re all clean.”

She drained the tub, wrapping a fluffy towel around his form and helping him out of the tub. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

She sat him down, the blonde yet again attempting to pull her into his embrace again. “Pika, no! I’ve gotta get you some clothes, okay?”

The blonde tugged at her sleeve, looking up at her with watery eyes. “Pika…”

She cupped his cheeks, leaning down to peck his lips. “It’s just for a second, Pika. I’ll be right back.”

He seemed to melt under her touch, eyes fluttering shut as she planted kisses all over his face. “That better?”

He nodded, nuzzling against her palm. “Okay. I’ll give you more kisses in just a minute, just let me go.”

Kurapika considered this, glancing between her and the door before letting her go. (Name) made true on her word, returning only a minute later carrying a pair of pajama pants and a tshirt. “Sorry, it’s Leorio’s clothes, b-“

Kurapika seemed visibly disgusted when she attempted to dress him. He pushed the shirt away, shaking his head. “What… what’s wrong? These are the only clothes that’ll fit you, sweetheart.”

He kept pushing and shaking his head until (Name) sighed. “Well, I guess you can wear my clothes…”

He went still at this, relaxing when she walked over to her closet and pulled out some pajamas again. It was the ugliest t-shirt she owned. It had a screaming possum on the front, the text saying ‘LETS EAT TRASH AND GET HIT BY A CAR” in bright red comic sans font, along with a pair of hello kitty pajama pants.

This time he offered no resistance when she asked him to raise his arms. She slipped the shirt onto him, wincing at the sight of his thin frame. ‘He lost weight…’

He was able to put his pants on himself, following behind her like a lost puppy when she walked into the kitchen. She sat him down and took out one of the premade meals she made that day. ‘I’m so glad I made these…’

She heated it up, watching as Kurapika swayed at the table. He was exhausted, she needed to hurry so he didn’t pass out at her dinner table.

“Here, Pika, it’s hot.”

She set the plate of food in front of him, scolding herself. ‘Of course he can’t feed himself.’

“I’ve got it, sweetheart.”

She blew on a spoonful of food before bringing it to his lips. He took a bite, perking up a little. She continued, but apparently was too slow, because the blonde snatched the spoon from her hand and began to shovel his meal into his mouth.

“Woah, slow down, you’re gonna choke.”

He didn’t listen. Kurapika had trouble eating recently. Nothing tasted good, everything bland after he decided to cut his beloved (Name) out of his life, but right now the food in front of him tasted like heaven.

He finished his plate, sipping on the drink she’d offered him moments before. After that, he rubbed at his eyes, swaying again.

“Sleepy?”

He nodded slowly, allowing her to guide him to her bedroom. “Let’s get you tucked in.”

She tucked him into one side of her bed, making sure he was comfortable before climbing into the other side. “Goodnight, Pika.”

He said nothing as he scooted closer to her, burying his face in her chest. She sighed, running her fingers through his pretty blonde hair.

“Thank you…”

It was so quiet that (Name) wasn’t sure she’d heard anything at all, but he continued to mutter thanks and apologies against her shirt. “Sorry… so sorry, (Name).”

“What are you sorry for, Pika? You didn’t do anything wrong?”

He didn’t answer her, and when she felt her shirt grow wet with tears, she could only sigh. “I love you, Pika. You’re not a burden to me at all, so don’t apologize for this.”

If only she knew that he was apologizing for who he’s become in the future, what he’d do to her to further his cause. Maybe she would have been less forgiving.

Just maybe.

(Name) kissed the top of his head, beginning to him as he clung to her. His body wracked with sobs, his hands clawing at her back as he broke down. “Please… please… don’t hate me, (Name). Please…”

She was quiet, not knowing how to respond. (Name) could never hate him. In the morning, she could attempt to ease his fears, let him know just how much he meant to her.

“Shh, shh…” she cooed, giving him kisses all over his face. He accepted those kisses, sighing in contentment. Kurapika peered up at her with those pretty brown eyes, leaning into her touch.

“Lets rest, okay?”

He didn’t want to rest. In the morning, he would become a stranger to her, but his heavy eyelids wouldn’t allow him to stay awake. “… okay…”

She pulled him into her embrace, the feeling of her warm hands on his back allowing him to relax and sleep.

——————

Kurapika pulled on his clothes, glancing at the sleeping girl with half lidded eyes.

He bent down, brushing her hair out of her face so he could take a good look at her sleeping face. ‘So pretty…’

Kurapika stared at her for a while, feeling himself being drawn towards her. He shook his head, pressing a lingering kiss to her forehand before standing up.

“Goodbye, (Name). I wish you the best, truly.”

He lingered in the doorway, glancing down to the shirt he discarded on the floor, the one she dressed him in the night before.

‘She won’t miss this…’

He picked it up, placing it in his satchel before pulling on his tabard. He looked over himself in the mirror. Thanks to her help, he looked… passable. Clean, but nothing would help in hiding the dark circles under his eyes and slight hollowness in his cheeks.

Kurapika spared her one last glance before leaving her apartment.

‘I’ll miss you, angel.’

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bluishabalone · 1 year

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Into Mariana Trench (INTRO & fic idea)

Pair : Namor x f!reader / K’uk’ulkan x f!reader

👋 Writer note : some idea for the next Namor x reader / K’uk’ulkan x reader if I finish Namor x Shapeshifter reader. And againnn pls pls PLS forgive my poor grammar thx in advance 🙏🏻

⚠️⚠️Y/N’s abilities : communicate with sea life (***just communicate no command ability and there are some that she cannot communicate with i’ll list those down later on.), aquatic abilities ; breath underwater / high-pressure resistant / Night vision / You have bioluminescent bacteria on some area of your body.

Timeline : After Wakanda Forever

Intro idea

Ever since you had heard about the conflict over vibranium resources, you doubled your shift and protection for the vibranium meteor lying in the depth of Mariana trench, even though the meteorite is not as huge as the ones in Wakanda and the Atlantic ocean, it’s still valuable that people would kill for it. You are the last of your kind. Others passed away a long time ago, so there is not much left to do besides the trench is already a solitary place. Working in Mariana island always keeps your hope up on finding someone to rely on and talk about your true self , but still, you haven’t found one yet. From time to time, aquatic animals are your source of news. Communicating with them helps kill loneliness in your heart and helps you learn new things like Talokan. You know every detail about the war between Wakanda and Talokanil. The whales told you everything you wanted to know.

You flinch from your train of thought as you sense frustration in the soft wave hitting your toes. Curious, you walk down the sea and a dolphin comes to you. He comes with a message from the deep sea. “What is it?”, you touch his forehead communicating to him. Communicating with animals is not like speaking to a person, the message does not come in understandable sentences, you try to feel it out and focus on reorganizing the message. “Gamomo.” You sigh, “What has he done this time?” The dolphin lets go from your touch and swims back to where it came from.

The sun is almost set by now. You go back to your house built near the beach, toss your backpack on the bed before you go out to the beach again. You are wearing only a tanktop and diving shorts. Despite the fatigue digging in your flesh, you walk down and plunge into the sea with the speed beyond human ability. It takes a couple hours until you arrive at the entrance of Mariana trench. You feel the pressure pushing your torso while your muscles relax letting the gravity pull you down. The environment has zero visibility, your body is beginning to respond. Your back and some areas on your arms produce hard scales. Your palms and some rifts between scales start to produce bioluminescence, as your eyes adjust to the light.

A creature approaches you from behind, its eerie appearance looks familiar. “Gamomo!”, you turn to a male frilled shark nudging your hands and pet him on his head, “Now what’s the hurry that made you sent a dolphin to me?” Gamomo shakes his tail like a dog demanding attention, he is eager to bring her down the trench. Your brows furrow, “Woah woah! hold up! What do you mean humans without suits? There’s no way they can get down here like that—come on let’s go check it out.”

They don’t even have to reach the bottom to find the answer. Right in front of them, are humanoid creatures, all of them dressed in ancient garments and accessories. You think, What the- They look a bit like Indigenous people from Mariana Island?. But when you take a closer look at costume details and a complex-looking machine with them, you change your mind, Talokanil? “State your business” you greet them out of nowhere startling them. None speaks up, and instead point their spears at you. You repeat “I said state your business, strangers.” One of them with wings attached to his ankles asks, “ Who are you?”

“The right question here is who are you? And why are you?” Your voice turns cold trying to keep your cool despite a concern about you being outnumbered, “I’m not going to ask twice.”

You notice Gamomo commands other frilled sharks to round them up and whisper to him, “Tell them to back up, Gamomo. We don’t want to start a fight, do we?” Gamomo does as she said, all sharks slowly back up blending in the darkness.

The one with winged ankles said, “We detected a vibranium meteorite in this trench and we are here to collect it.”

You knew this day would come but not this soon. “And Who are you ?” He notices you don’t seem surprised much, she knows something, “My name is K’uk’ulkan, King of Talokan.”

Ch1

#Namor #namor x reader #k’uk’ulkan x reader #let me know if you like it or there’s smth i need to fix #bluishabalone

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maxverstappensflatbrim · 11 months

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Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [11]

chapter eleven, act two: anobrain

masterlist

April 7th 2013

America is kind of borning.

They’d been touring for months, meeting boring people at even more boring places.

Everything is the same, everyone feels entitled to correct you as if you’re not speaking the right language.

And if Tommie hears the question, ‘you live a whale?’ one more time, she’s going to commit a very violent crime.

But they’ve left America now, which they’re all a little glad about. Having a break back home for a couple weeks with their families before their next round of gigs.

Tommies in their apartment, alone with everyone else at their families homes.

George has gone on a weekend trip with his sisters, Ross has met up with his brother for the weekend, Matty’s with his father and Adam’s gone to his father’s side of the family.

He did invite Tommie but she felt a little awkward since she doesn’t really know them.

Not that she’s been completely alone, she spent a couple days with her aunt before she had to get back to work. So instead of staying in her house moping around in self-pity Tommie decided to mop around in self-pity in her own flat.

It’s time like these that she feels alone.

She’s surrounded by people, the most people she ever has been yet she feels completely alone.

She misses her mother a lot, and she debates flying out to France to see her grandparents for a couple days.

She misses her brother, who she had to leave behind when she left.

When she left things went bad quickly with her dad, and if she didn’t have Matty she’s sure she never would have had the courage to do it.

Her father had seen them driving out of the village and stopped them, trying to physically pull her from the car until Matty got out and shoved him away.

They could both smell the alcohol on his breath, he was drunk, and that’s what hurt the most. The fact that she knew he wouldn’t have cared if he was sober hurt more than him showing up drunk, again.

Matty had turned to her as they left, his hand on the gear stick moving to grip her own hand.

He said a few simple words that made her close her eyes and look away, ‘how long has he hit you for?’

She didn’t pretend like she didn’t know what he was talking about, and she didn't beat around the bush. She simply looked down and told him the truth. ‘All my life.’

She watched as he rubbed a hand across his jaw to hide the way he clenched it, only to regrip her hand and say, ‘you did the right thing.’

But now as she sits in her bedroom, staring at the only picture she has of her brother which is them side by side outside his mother’s house in matching WRU jerseys, she wonders if she did.

If she did do the right thing.

She left him behind.

Of course, she never would have if he wasn’t safe. But her father never hit him, in all his twelve years of life.

She just wasn’t good enough. He wanted a son, that’s why she pushed herself into football and boxing and other sports she hated.

She loved hockey in school but wouldn’t play, not when he said the sport was too ‘girlish’.

She pretended she didn’t like sitcoms, acted as if WWE was her favourite thing to watch just so they could spend time together.

The truth was that she wasn’t a son, like he wanted, and she never would be.

That’s why she wasn’t safe.

But JJ Fern was a son, and for that her father wouldn’t harm a hair on his head.

She misses Millie.

Her childhood dog died just two years before she officially joined the band.

She misses her baby sister who is too young to even remember who she is now.

She misses her mother.

She’s so lost in her own thoughts she doesn’t hear the door go, or the distant shout of her name.

It’s not until she hears a soft ‘hey’ as the bed dips that she snaps out of it, looking over to the fluffy hair beside her.

“Roddy?” She places the picture face down beside her and turns to look at him, “Thought you were introducing your dad to Gemma again today.”

“No.” He purses his lips, “I broke up with her.”

“Why?”

He shrugs, “Thought we could go back to how it was, but we can’t.”

“It’s only been three months, Matty.”

He shrugs his shoulders, leaning his head on her shoulder, “I don’t know, I’ve been on tour, and I feel like nothings coming of it. Doesn’t matter,” He shrugs, “It’s over.”

“You okay?”

“It didn’t hurt,” He mutters, “Don’t feel like anything has changed. I’m more annoyed that she still has the book.”

It takes her a second to realise but when she does she clips the back of his head and he pulls away with a groan, “What was that for?”

“I said you could borrow it, that book is the start of this band.”

“We were a band-”

“You know what I mean.”

He mutters an apology, falling back to lie on her bed, “What are you doing here anyway? It's your birthday tomorrow.”

“I know.”

“And you're travelling up in the morning?”

He shakes his head, “Not going up.”

“Why?”

He moves so he’s lying with his head beside her and wraps his arms around her waist, head awkwardly angled to lean on her thighs.

“Wanted to spend the day down here, with you.”

“Why?”

He huffs, “Don’t want one of Mum’s extravagant parties showing the world I’m getting old.”

She giggles, “You’re twenty four, Roddy.”

“Oh, God.” He groans loudly, burying his curly head into her stomach.

She laughs, holding his head to her, running her fingers through the back of his head, he turns so he’s lying sideways on the bed, legs hanging off the end with his head in her lap.

“What do you want to do for your birthday?” She asks, “I’m not as good with things like that as you are, so you’ll have to guide me.”

He shrugs, “Been wanting to see that new film that came out few months ago, Inside Llewyn Davis? Wanna go?”

“Sure, is it still in the pictures?”

He shrugs, “One of my old school mates works in the local picture house, I’ll message him, see if he can do a special viewing just for us.”

“No,” She shakes her head, “I’ll message him, send me his number, I’ll sort it.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

April 8th 2013

Matty chuckles to himself, wrapped in hoodies and zip up jackets, sunglasses on his head, as he watches Tommie dig through her bag to get all the sweets she’d bought in Tesco beforehand.

“Why didn’t you just buy them here? Save time?”

“I ain’t paying that price for sweets when I can get ‘em cheaper with my club card.”

“Right,” He says, pursing his lips to hide his smile, “Sorry.”

She sits back opening them all and putting them in the cup holders so they can get to them better.

“Shh it’s starting.” He mutters and she rolls her eyes as if she had been talking.

She reaches over to push his glasses off his head and he smacks her hand away when they land on the bridge of his nose, making it difficult for him to see the screen.

“Stop it.” He mutters to her quietly.

She giggles but he grabs her hand, holding it in his lap as he pushes the glasses back on top of his head.

She grins to herself scooching over to be closer to him and resting her head on his shoulders, “What’s-”

He lifts his hand, covering her mouth as he shushes her once more.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

Matty walks slowly beside her on solid ground, one hand in his pocket the other stretched out just behind her back as she walks along the flat rail, her arms stretched out to keep her balance.

“Don’t fall.”

“I’ve got it.”

“Why are we here again?” He questions, holding both hands out when she gets to the end of the rail, she grabs his hands using him to jump down on the floor then tugs him up the biggest ramp, gripping the edge so she can pull herself up and helping him when he loses his footing.

“Isn’t it my birthday?” He asks, “If I remember correctly it was you who said I could choose.”

She shrugs, “Fine, guess you don’t want the weed I stole from George’s stash.” She says holding the little baggie up between them and shaking it in his face.

He goes to grab it but she snatches it back, “Uh, uh.”

“Come on, you gonna take it away from me on my day?”

“No, I’m gonna roll one for you.”

He snorts and she shoves him in the side, “What? I’ve seen you guys do it loads, I can do it.”

“Okay.”

She side eyes him and he looks away trying not to laugh as he watches her struggle right away.

“Come here.” He says, feeling slightly bad.

He takes it from her, rolling one joint for them to share and pockets the rest, ignoring the look she sends his way.

He takes a lighter from his pocket but she quickly scrambles for her bag, “Wait, I have to give you your birthday present.”

She takes a small awfully wrapped box, he can tell she’d done it in a rush, then hands it over.

“Happy Birthday, Roddy.”

He unwraps it, the joint now tucked securely behind his ear, holding back his curly hair with it.

“What is it?”

“Just open it, god, you’re so impatient.” She laughs to herself watching carefully as his fingers rip open the paper.

He smiles to himself as he brings it out of the box, rubbing his thumb along the engraving of the zippo lighter.

‘You look so cool x’

He smiles, using the new lighter to light up the joint and puffs the smoke into her face once he’s done.

“Thank you. I love it.”

“Of course you do, I got it.” She grins, plucking the weed from his mouth.

Matty watches her carefully, as she places it between her lips and inhales, much better than her first time a few months ago.

He smiles, and when she turns to look at him, dimples showing, eyes slightly gazed over he lets his head fall to rest on her shoulder.

Satisfying his urge to kiss her with another long drag on the joint.

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart

@indierockgirrl

@sofaritsalrightt

@julezs-bl0g

-let me know if you want to be added :)

#show me yours matty healy #matty healy x reader #matty healy x oc #matty healy imagine #the 1975 x oc #the 1975 x reader #the 1975 imagine

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alpaca-clouds · 8 months

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When White (or allistic?) people travel...

I am gonna travel a bit next week. Well, "a bit" really means: I am gonna dip across the border for a few days into the Netherlands (I am living really close to the border) and bike around a bit. At least as long as the weather is gonna play along.

But it has reminded me of this one thing I always saw when I was traveling.

And I am to this day not entirely sure whether it is a white people thing or an allistic people thing. And that is this need to travel often into a fantasy land.

Now, there are those people who will travel to some hotel ressort and hang at the beach for ten days. Which is valid. Laziness is a myth. All power to you. Just consider to maybe not do it on indigenous land. (No, really. The gif is there for a reason. Do not travel to Hawai'i.)

But there is this other kind of travel happening too. The travel, where you wanna see this other country - but not as it really is, but this idealized fantasy version of it.

I most often saw this in relation with Japan. Because let's face it. A ton of people, who are into Japan, are into Japan because of anime and the stuff they have "learned" through anime, with maybe some Japanese self-mythology put into it when it comes to stuff like honor and samurai and what not. And then they travel to Japan and are very, very disappointed, because the Japan they arrive in is not anime!Japan, but just another place. Another speck of earth so to speak. Where just normal people live, not anime characters. Sure, there are cool shrines and temples to visit. But all in all it is just a place like any other. It is not fantasy.

But it is a thing I have seen with a lot of white people travelling. They do not want to visit a place but the fantasy version of that place. Like, with Hawai'i they wanna go palm beach, hula dancing, aloha and what not. They do not wanna go to a place where the indigenous population is exploitated and gets further and further pushed from their land. If they go to South Africa, they wanna go to this trendy place, watch some whales and what not, not see the rampant poverty and crime. Or when they go visit Greece, they wanna see that country with those nice ruins and stuff, eat some good food, and once again not be confronted with the poverty.

I still remember when I was a teenager and got send onto this Christian youth trip to Corfu, Greece. Now, it was knda funny, because it was a Christian youth trip - but our hostel was right next to the local brothel. But the pimp was actually a super nice guy, just so you know. Like, I got bullied on that trip by some of the other teens and at one time he just threatened those bullies to set his dog onto them, before inviting me and my friends over for dinner.

Now, the entire trip was two weeks and every day there was the option to go somewhere. Either to the beach or to see some sights. I did not go along. Partly because of the bullying, partly because I never got the idea of "seeing the sights". Instead I made friends with some local kids and hung out with them. At times I went with them on some trips they did with their families... And the irony is: I have seen much more of that island than anyone else on that trip. Just not... the ruins and stuff, that everyone else wanted to see. But I saw a farm where I got to taste some fresh honey, got a street dog to the vet, somehow ended up on a small fishing boat, was at a party where a kid got babtized, and visited a couple of villages that usually tourists just drive through. I learned a lot about the place and how the people live there.

And I do realize that it is not feasable for everyone from that group of 60 teens to just do that. I get that. But I also have to wonder... What is the value to visit the same ruin that has already been photographed like 2 million times?

Again, I get hanging at the beach. I do. But... looking at stuff that I can look at online? Yeah, no.

I guess what my rambling is aiming at...

Tourism kinda sucks. And even the entire idea, that it somehow helps the communities just does not really match the reality. Because the truth is that the money generated through communism mostly gets gobbled up by big companies, while the tourism at the touristy places also makes everything more expensive for the people who actually live their.

And tourists just do not want to see the people actually living there. They are not interested in the real place. Just in a fantasy. A fantasy that the tourism sector tries to uphold.

But it is... not really good, is it?

Like, hundreds of people or even thousands visiting either ruins or cultural heritage sites is not actually a good thing. It harms the environment and everything. And in the end it also hurts the people actually living around it. And they kinda have more of a right to be there than any tourist.

We really need to rethink how we travel and how we vacation. Because this isn't it.

#rambling #travel #tourism #tourism industry #anti capitalism #thoughts

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focsle · 1 year

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Oh Hai, I am going to Svalbard and thence on a ship into the ice - can you talk to me about whaling on the ice? I remember there were whaling stations in Greenland and possibly Iceland as well, where whales were brought be smaller ships for rendering, but that was never a big New England practice?

Oh, sounds chilly! I hope the excursion is all you wish for. Sorry for the incredibly long post--it got away from me! This is how I spent my evening! Sorry for any typos; it’s near 1 am.

Shore whaling isn't my forte so I can't speak much to that. There were whaling settlements set up on places like Herschel Island to support the industry as it stretched into the Arctic, though that's not quite the same as shore whaling stations. There were some 20th century ones up in the Arctic too, but again, not my forte.

I can talk about whaling on the ice, though. After 1848 when the commercial whaling fleet learned of bowheads, it pushed northwards in pursuit of them as the old whaling grounds were increasingly overfished.

A struck bowhead whale drawn by Captain Benjamin Boodry.

An anonymous letter published in the Quaker newspaper The Friend in 1850, written from the perspective of a Bowhead whale, offered up a rare perspective in opposition to the industry at this time:

“Although our situation, and that of our neighbors in the Arctic is remote from our enemy’s country, yet we have been knowing to the progress of affairs in the Japan and Ochotsk seas, the Atlantic and Indian oceans, and all the other “whaling grounds”. We have imagined that we were safe in these cold regions; but no; within these last two years a furious attack has been made upon us, an attack more deadly and bloody than any of our race ever experienced in any part of the world. I scorn to speak of the cruelty that has been practiced by our blood-thirsty enemies, armed with harpoon and lance; no age or sex has been spared.”

The expansion was both a detriment to the whales and a detriment to the men who hunted them. Many whalers were ill-prepared for the colder conditions, with often inadequate outfits purchased from the ship’s slop chest. Cases of scurvy (and death from such) increased significantly as months were spent in regions where the resupply of fresh produce wasn’t possible as it was in the South Pacific. The US Consul in Honolulu frequently commented on the condition of the men filling their hospital from a season up North, describing whalers who “died after reaching port and before they could be landed, while others were carried to the hospital on litters, being too feeble to walk.”

The whaling Bark Samboul, 1886. Via New Bedford Whaling Museum.

It also could be a psychologically bleak time as well. Allen Newman, captain of the Covington (1852-55, and 56-59) wrote:

“All this day a strong gale from the East with thick rainy weather, this is hard if I was alone I think I should be tempted to some rash act, such as Murder or Suicide, but I am surrounded with A plenty as poor as myself, misery loves company.”

Later he wished for all the things he couldn't have access to while bound up in fog and ice.

“hard gale from the North with cold Weather & A Bad Sea such is life on the Ocean. I Wish myself at Home with my Wife & Children, seated by A good fire & eating apples or I would willingly go Without the apples to be there O Lord watch over us keep us in health & give us Prosperity as the years rool round.. I hope to find myself with my family on some May morning & enjoying all the Blessings of A Happy Home.”

Benjamin Boodry, 2nd mate of the Arnolda (1852-55) also missed home after a failed attempt to catch Bowheads.

“Saw B[ow]Heads lowered without success chased all day came on board hungry and I am unhappy as a dog and homesick discontented wish I was at home I’d give all that I have got in the ship and run the risk of going naked or starving to death”

It wasn’t all misery, however. William Stetson, cabin-boy-to-foremast-hand on the Arab (1853-57) talked about some of the fun they had, too.

“We saw several bowheads but could get no where near them, and then all three boats penetrated farther into the ice, our boats crew all got out on a large cake of ice which was covered with snow, and enjoyed a little game of snow ball. To set foot anywhere out of the ship or boat soon on an ice cake in the Kamtschatka sea is very agreeable for a change; we enjoy ourselves among the ice, chasing seals and birds, snow balling, &c.”

Bowheads, with their battering ram heads designed to break through thick ice, knew their world far better than the new predators that just entered into it. In all instances, when pursued, they would make their escape attempt by running under the ice.

“Our officers were not very anxious to tackle them in the ice, as it needs an expert whaleman to handle them there,” wrote Albert Peck, greenhand on the Covington, the same voyage in which his captain was privately contemplating Murder And/Or Suicide and dreaming about home and hearths and apples. “As soon as one is struck he instantly makes for the compact ice and if he runs under, they are obliged to give him line til they can get the boat clear, and it often happens that before the boat can be cleared the line is gone, it being useless to try to hold it. Sometimes when he is running and they are holding on to the line [...] it will strike with its full force against a cake of ice, and if not very large and struck fairly with her stern, it will split and the boat will go between the pieces, but if not struck fairly then wo[e] to the boat. Often times the line will be cut or chaffed off against the ice, and then farewell Mr. Whale.”

Whaling wife Mary Lawrence on board the Addison (1856-60) described such a hunt, and the improvising whalers did when a whale ran under the ice.

“Our boats had not been down more than ten minutes before the whale came up between our bow boat and a boat from another ship. They both started for him, but our boat, having the best chance, struck. He ran under the ice soon after they fastened, but our brave crew were not going to give him up so, so two boats went around the other side of the ice to lance him and send him back, which they finally did after having quite an exciting time. Mr. Nickerson got out of his boat and went on to the ice to try to shoot him, while another boats crew from another ship landed and snowballed the whale, probably wounding him severely.”

The whale was ultimately killed by all this and brought alongside.

Bark Jacob A. Howland, trying out blubber among the ice. 1887. NBWM.

Benjamin Boodry, for all his misery as a 2nd mate on the Arnolda, would find himself up in the ice again as captain on his next voyage aboard the Fanny (1856-60). In icy regions he often described whaling happening in a ‘pond hole’, meaning a section of open water amidst all the ice floes. From the safety of said pond hole, he saw the peril that came with whaling in the Arctic.

“Comes in with light gales from East ship in a pond hole boiling with the Roman [another whaleship] thick and plenty of snow and verry heavy swell at ½ past 7 came to the N side of the pond hole it lighted some saw the wreck of a vessel about 2 miles in the Ice dismasted and the ship Brutus lying by her the swell being to heavy dare not venture through the Ice as the Brutus was there to render all assistence in saveng life poor fellows I pitty them God only knows whose turn it will be next this is a dangerous way of getting an honest living at 8 saw a large light set supposed to be on board of the wreck I wonder what poor fellow it is Middle and latter part blowing spoke Capt Henry of the Brutus haveing Capt Sherman and crew of Bark Newton on board there vessel being stove in the Ice he belongs in Rochester town and has lost his wife since he sailed and now has lost his vessel take my vessel but save me my Little Mary”

Getting wrecked by ice was the greatest risk in the region. At one point the Addison found itself almost entirely bound up in ice, and Mary described the anxiety of the scene.

"The first flow of ice that came to us was not bad, quite thick but considerably broken up. After that it came on pretty bad. We were obliged to have men out on the ice cutting our way along, until we came to a field that was impossible to get through. Just then there came on a slight breeze, so that we slipped out anchor, and turning around a little, we cleared all of that except the point. Then we put down our large anchor and drifted through the remainder, some of which was very heavy, solid field ice two miles in length. After cutting, spading, sawing, and pulling with ropes, we finally worked through the last of it about four o’clock in the morning. It was a night of hard work and anxiety. We were afraid mostly of staving our ship again. There was also danger of dragging our anchor and going ashore."

Thomas Howes Norton, captain of the whaleship the Citizen (1852), found his ship less fortunate in navigating the ice.

“Ice was all around us, which would have passed us on the larboard bow, and thus we should have escaped a concussion; but instead of doing this he put the wheel down, which brought the ship into the wind and the consequence was a large hole was stoven in her larboard bow; the ship began to leak badly. Casks were immediately filled with water, and placed on the starboard side of the ship, and thus in a measure heeled the ship, which brought the leak to a considerable extent out of the water; otherwise she must have sunk in a very little time.”

While the crew of the Citizen would patch the damage made on that instance, it wouldn’t help them for long. Their ship would be utterly destroyed in a gale in the Arctic Ocean in September 1852, with five lives lost and thirty-three men stranded ashore with little to protect them.

Wreck of the Citizen, via Library of Congress.

While stranded, those thirty-three men were assisted by the local Yupik people and lived with them for nine months before eventually being brought home by two New England whalers.

It was the Arctic that played a huge role in finishing the American whale fishery, too. In 1871, thirty-three American whaling vessels were unexpectedly bound up in pack ice off Alaska. Their collective crews (and families aboard) reflected 1219 lives suddenly plunged into mortal peril. All the captains came together and signed a statement of what they all agreed to do:

"We, the undersigned, masters of whaleships now lying at Point Belcher, after holding a meeting concerning our dreadful situation, have all come to the conclusion that our ships cannot be got out this year, and there being no harbor that we can get our vessels into, and not having provisions enough to feed our crews to exceed three months, and being in a barren country, where there is neither food nor fuel to be obtained, we feel ourselves under the painful necessity of abandoning our vessels, and trying to work our way south with our boats, and, if possible, get on board of ships that south of the ice."

They set their ensigns upside-down, took to their whaleboats, and abandoned the whole endeavor to the Arctic.

Image from Harpers Weekly 1871, of some of the whaleships bound up in ice and the crews evacuating.

Through heavy swells and ice they rowed, hoping to make it to open water where other ships from the fleet might be there to save them. It took them near 90 miles to reach the rest of the fleet, who readily brought them all aboard and returned everyone home at the expense of their own voyages. Remarkably, not a single life was lost in this event. But all but one of the trapped whaleships were crushed by the ice. With the industry already staggered by the discovery of petroleum and by losses during the Civil War when Confederate raiders made a point to target the whaling fleet, this massive loss was the final nail in the coffin for American whaling. Beyond that event, wrecking in the ice became a fate for many a whaleship in the last couple decades of the 19th century.

#asks #awhalin #dancing-crow #long post //#animal death //#ok bedtime…

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autisticlancemcclain · 1 year

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fic rec friday 4

welcome to the fourth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Flip by @icypantherwrites

A very important alliance hinges on Voltron’s ability to perform a Sambayee — a show of athleticism and grace — and Allura had believed she was Voltron’s best candidate. But the aliens do not want an alliance and set an impossible bar that Allura is horrified to realize she cannot reach. There is no way any one can.

Except, she learns, there is. And there is far, far more to Lance than she had once believed.

Gymnast Lance and Allura angst. What more do you need? Seriously, I love them both so much, and the fic treats them both with respect as friends (which can sometimes be tricky, but this does great!)

2. A Wider Universe by @spiralled-fury

Lance, separated from his team, his family, his home.

For them, it wasn't long.

For him, it was two years.

Two years of endless fighting.

New scars, new pain, new hatred.

And new feelings.

I don’t really need to rec this fic -- sixty thousand of us have read it. It’s the voltron epic of all voltron epics. BAMF Lance of all BAMF Lances, slowburn klance, MFE pilots with important parts to the story, and the best Lance & Red relationshop literally ever written.

3. The Cracks in Your Mask by @chyeahlex16

According to Lance, he has a great life. A large family full of younger kids running around a cozy house, a stern father and a strong, loving mother, a large dog full of love for his owners, lots of space to run around and grow in the backyard. Only light and happiness, no tragedy to speak of. But this is far from the truth.

They’ll never know. If he has anything to say about it, no one will ever know the real truth.

- A journey following Lance as he comes to terms with his past and sexuality in a way he couldn't around his family on earth.

(Basically a very personal self-projection on Lance. Some material can be triggering, but I'm keeping it as vague as possible for obvious reasons.)

A major warning -- this fic is a very heavy deep-dive into the traumatising aftermath of childhood sexual assault. Lance, who was CSA’d as a child, is having more and more triggers in his every day life as a paladin. This story details his worsening spiral into his trauma, and his eventual snap and reliance on his team. It’s an excellent story, the team handles Lance with so much care, and it’s a really important story to read, I think (but, again, tread carefully).

4. Two Years On A Fucking Space Whale by vrepit_nah

After two years on a damn space whale, the Voltron team see Keith return to them. Lance missed Keith, and well, it seemed Keith didn't feel the same seeing as he brushed past Lance without even a 'Hi.'

Except, this isn't Voltron: The Show, but Voltron: My Retelling (And the one we all wanted.)

Keith changes his mind about ignoring Lance.

This is the reunion fic that we deserve! Sappy klance! Whipped Keith! Flustered Lance! I love reading this one when I need to feel better about season 6.

5. the electric synthesized pop ballad of why keith can’t have nice things by kay_cricketed

Keith can't have nice things. That's it. That's the story.

(Or, in which Keith slowly learns that sometimes the best family is the one you make, Pidge has strong feelings about peanuts, Lance has a secret but would've spoken up sooner if he'd known it would break Keith's brain, Hunk is the actual best, and Shiro is just relieved he didn't have to give anyone the Talk.)

Is this an ABO au? Yes. Am I a little embarrassed about it? Also yes. But I’ll be real, this fic is really good! It’s well written, it’s nonlinear -- which I love -- and it features absolute conniving shithead Lance, whom I adore. It’s a fun fic with interesting themes, including a big thing on trust, and I really recommend it.

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#please dont discredit the last one okay i promise its great #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #langst #bamf lance #klance #longpost #tw csa #gymnast lance #team as family #fic rec #fic rec friday

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blazescompendium · 1 year

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Blaze's Compendium entry #1: Dormarth- The Celtic hound

In most of sources, Dormarth is described as some kind of ''Cerberus'' of Celtic Folklore, being described as a guard dog of the gates of underworld on those cultures. And also in most sources, Dormarth's name is referred as meaning ''Death's Door''. This was also replicated in her Shin Megami Tensei appearance.

However, a superficial research into this creature always reveals that it is also called by another names such as ''Dormach'' and ''Dormarch'', and it's more often than not, treated as a hunting dog of sorts.

Speaking into the context of Welsh mythology and folk tales, it's said that the underworld has a king, called Gwynn Ap Nudd. He supposed owns a beast called Dormarch/Dormarth, that follows him during hunts. Specifically, his hunts for lost souls. (See Below the connection to the concept of Wild Hunt).

Gwynn is a very important figure when talking about Dormarth, since this mythical being is closely associated with the later. The so called ''King of Underworld'' is also associated to the concept of Wild Hunt, which is a common sight in European cultures. Famous examples include the Nordic Wild Hunt, with Odin presiding over it. In most of the depictions of the phenomena, hunting dogs are with it. Gwynn's Wild Hunt was no exception.

*It's also worthy to note that, i have focused my efforts on researching Dormarth, and have not gone deep into Gwynn's lore. I will probably do it later as another entry in my compendium series.

It's said in the Black Book of Camarthen, that Gwynn obtained Dormarth from the legendary King Maelgwn Gwynedd. The later really existed, but gained a mythic status in Celtic history. The figure lies buried in Puffin Island, UK.

The Black Book of Camarthen describes Dormarth as a beast with two front legs, only one head, and a tail that has 3 ends. There's no mention of lower legs, or other heads like a Cerberus would have.

To better understand Dormarth's discription and meaning, we have to go back to the first apparition of this creature, in the said Book of Camarthen. It's a 13th century Welsh book, that details poems, legends and folk tales from Wales. It was re released in 1906, and the original was scanned in 2002 and archived online for public view.

Read online

To my knowledge, that's Dormarth oldest written account. The book by itself contains a lot of contents from the time, and i was very interested to keep going with it, but for the topic at hand its already a very satisfactory base. In case you are curious, the 1906 version from J. Evans is available to buy and read online as well!

With the 1906 version as a base, Dormarth the modern author inserts some of his interpretations, and describes Dormarth less as a dog, and more as a sea creature, like a whale. Some authors associate that to the Christianity becoming more and more popular in the region at the time. Although, i could not find any credible sources or reasons to link the facts. Some say that Dormarth was associated to the biblical tale of Jonah and the Whale, which... I don´t really know why. The biggest theory is because, in this newer version, Dormarth is drawn like a whale of sorts (?). That would, in theory, suggest the old 13th century tale was being now interpreted by 20th century Christians. Evans was a christian by a matter of fact, so i can see why this theory exists, but for me its a kinda of stretch. Probably has more to do with his own interpretation of the creature. (Even thought Dormarth is clearly a dog...)

But what about our Fantastical Hound? What does the old texts says about it?

Surprisingly... Not much!

According to the Black Book of Camarthen, Dormarth supposedly inhabits the ''Ar Wybir'' which literally means ''mounting in the clouds.'' -Specifically the ones surrounding mountains. We can presume that's their ''natural habitat''. This also could mean Dormarth manipulates winds, and can fly.

In the book, Gwynn meets the king Gwyddno from Cantre'r Gwaelod (which, by the way has a really interesting tale) an old mythical land that supposedly sank in the ocean just like Atlantis.

At this meeting, there's a dialogue where Gwynn presents his hound, Dormarth. The owner of such creature praises its features, and talks about its role in the Wild Hunt. At the later, Gwynn collected the soul of his fallen soldiers with the help of his hunting dogs, such as Dormarth, which he praised as his best dog. (Good boy, or girl!)

Here's a small part of that poem:

"Handsome my dog, and round bodied, And truly the best of dogs; Dormath was he, which belonged to Maelgwyn. Dormath with the ruddy nose! what a gazer Thou art upon me because I notice Thy wanderings on Gwibir Vynyd."

-Black Book of Camarthen, 13th century

To better understand this fantastical Welsh creatures, we need to be presented to the concept of the Cwn Annwn, this translates itself to simply ''Hounds of Annwn. This said Annwn is another type of netherworld, another dimension, or plane. It's been seen in other traditional Welsh works, such as Maginobion which is a collection of folk tales and texts. This plane is also associated strongly with Gwynn Ap Nudd, since he is the king of the netherworld, mytical beings, fantastical creatures and this kind of stuff.

I need to bring the Cwn Annwn to the topic, because they were strongly associated with the Hild Hunt themselve, being the literal dogs that hunt down souls at this phenomena. We can thereby, conclude that Dormarth is indeed one of the Cwn Annwn, but a notorious one.

The Cwn Annwn also had other duties, such as carry the souls of the dead on their journeys to the after life. (Its often interesting to me how many cultures regards dogs as companions to lost souls, trying to reach heaven, or just guarding heaven. I can think about the Aztec dog of Xolotl, Cerberus, and many other instances.) At the Wild Hunt, they also had the duty to pursue criminals, until they could not run anymore. This is the modern depiction of the Wild Hunt hunting criminals, where before the Christians came, they would hunt anyone! The Christians probably were not satisfied by the idea of the righteous average christian running the risk of being hunt down by a demonic dog, so they nerfed it.

The author John Rhys comments also on the idea that Christianity changed the way Gwyn's Wild Hunt worked, where before Gwynn would hunt any dead soul, now the Wild Hunt was believed to hunt only criminals.

''What Gwynn hunts, is the soul of the dead. But Christianity has narrowed his field a lot, now he only hunts criminals.''

-Rhys on the Christian influency on this old Celtic myth, around page 156 of Studies in Arthurian Legends, 1891.

Note: The British Islands had a lot of Wild Hunt folklore. Actually, Europe had it in general, it was a trope. And hounds were also a common theme. There's cases you can read about from the entirety of the continent, and maybe one day i can bring the Wild Hunt to our compendium, there's a lot of material!

Coming back to Dormarth, since she's not going anywhere here. She's described specifically as a hunter dog helping Gwynn, in what one can only suppose it's the Wild Hunt. Still, at the 1906 version of the Black Book of Camarthen, page 97, there's a drawing of Dormarth. The creature is present in the pages 13 and 14 of the original manuscript, which can also be read online.

That's... Nothing like what Kaneko drew...

The interesting part about Dormarth it's not their features, nor their powers, as with some mythical creatures, but the etymology of its name...

You see, the real origins and meanings of the name Dormarth are uncertain. If you research by your own, you see some people call it Dormarth, while others call it Dormarch, as said earlier. This is because the original work had a bit of paint in the last letters, or it just eroded with time. If you read it as Dormarth, it means something like ''Death's door''. However there's evidence the name was actually written as Dormarch.

I will talk more about the creature's name in a bit. You just need to know now, that over the internet, books, and many sources, usually this being is named either Dormarch or Dormarth. For the scholars of the Breton language, you can notice that Dor= Door, and March = ...horse. Yeah, i will address that eventually, keep reading.

Evidently, if you look deep down into books and overall sources, there's no legend of Dormarth as a guard dog. It's never told for us that Dormarth is one, but still many modern media portray Dormarth as such. Even at her mentions in the Shin Megami Tensei franchise, most of its compendium entries describes her like that.

There's also a lot of online articles connecting Dormarth to the Irish Goddess Callieach. Where most of the times being also depicted as a guard dog, but being side by side with said goddess. This also has no backing from anywhere, there's no citation -as far as i know and had researched- that put those two together.

Talking about it's academics sources, Dormarth is only born and mostly portrayed in Welsh mythology and folkloric literature. But Callieach as mentioned it's an Irish goddess (Albeit sometimes appearing in Welsh and Manx mythology as well) ,and was never present in the works where Dormarth was. Again, as far as my research has gone.

Callieach is a goddess of the winter, also associated with landscape and nature. There's few and almost no room to put a Guard dog of the underworld near her, but i don't eliminate the idea of word of mouth doing this, and being less recorded. Just a theory of mine thought, because i could not find any sources on where this association with this goddess has begun for Dormarth.

It's widely known that Celtic mythology spreads itself by all the Britanic islands, and their ages vary a lot. I could locate Callieach being recorded mentioned at a 8th century poem, but as far as i researched there was again, no mention of Dormarth. It's clear now, that this association has no backing, and it's mostly a misinterpretation of Celtic culture.

*I got curious on where Atlus and most of modern depictions of Dormarth took this idea of it being sided with Callieach, and after an extensive search, i found a 2004 post at Deviantart that make this exact association, and it was the oldest i could get. Since Dormarth first appearance at SMT was from the Raidou novel, in 2007-8, maybe Kaneko got his idea from here? I dont know...

In the book ''Celtic Folklore, Welsh, and Manx'' by Jhon Rhys written in 1901, at page 216 Dormarth is cited by the author, who is pondering if the creature is indeed a Cwn Annwn. Rhys was a very interesting author, because he actually went to research personally, and collected local testimonies and tales from ordinary people. Here it's no diferent, and he tells about a local tale of a business man, that had the unlucky fate of being a town attacked by the so called Cwn Annwn. In this report, Dormarth is not cited directly, but the creature itself is at the glossary in the last pages of the book as well.

At this point deep in the study of this creature, i was a bit walking around in circles, because everything went to dead ends, and my lack of knowledge in Celtic languages certainly did not help me. I've found that some people online really theorized that the interpretation of Welsh myths could really trip over to Ireland, for example and be slightly different, and not very well recorded. This could in theory explain the discrepancies in the descriptions of the creature.

Dormarth is also present in the 1905 book: ''Celtic Myth and Legend'' by Charles Squire. Squire is a very known author from the 20th century, and wrote this very huge and detailed collection of Celtic Mythology. Some things in the book did not aged well, but in the most part is a very usefull book.

Squire cites the poem from the Black Book of Camarthen, which i exhaustively read and talked about here. But, in the bibliography section of the book, you can see where Squire found Dormarth in the first place. It was in a book called ''Studies in Arthurian Legends'', Written in 1891 by John Rhys (You again!).

Time to raise an eyebrow and ask yourself what in the world is Dormarth doing in an academic study of the King Arthur legends? Well, around the page 150ish, Rhys is lecturing us about a poem about Lancelott and Elayne. (The book its available online in its entirety, go check it out if you want to.) In this poem, we are told about the time Lancelott goes to a tournament with the other knights of the Round Table, where a young woman falls in love with him, only to be rejected and later committing suicide. The tale by itself it's interesting, but there's the part that really interests our text, that is the woman's mysterious father.

Rhys explains that her father was a weird man, that was always by a well, described himself as ''King of the Islands'', and devoted himself so much to this title, that according to Rhys reflection, he could not save his own daughter from suicide.

However, what concerns us the most here is that the man was described being always accompanied by some ''beast''. The man stated that this beast belonged to him, and only him and his descendants. The creature was only described this way, as a ''beast''. And supposedly had a powerful roar.

The poem in question was written by Thomas Malory (1405-1475). Malory is important for this research, because of many things, but specifically because of its place on time and space.

He was an English romanticist, living during the 15th century and wrote mainly about King Arthur. His works were based on Gaulish books from the 13th century. He knew much about the folklore and myths of that age.

Back to the poem of Lancelott, the father of the young woman had his own history with King Arthur. The man was keen on fighting Arthur, and had the habit to take away the horses of the knights he defeated. He waited Arthur at his well, with his beast, in hopes to duel with him.

Here, Rhys does his connection with Dormarth:

Malory tells that the beast roared with the strength of 30 hounds. Rhys reflects that maybe Malory was referencing some kind of guard dog with 3 heads, just like Cerberus. It's also cited during this reflection, other mythical dogs from around Europe -page 156-, but ultimately he traces a parallel with the nearest culture, the Welsh.

Rhys interpreted that the figure being the father of Ellayne, is actually a Breton version of Gwyn App Nudd (!!!)

As said before, in his other book from 1901, Rhys tells us more about this modern depiction of Gwynn's Wild Hunt. He even writes about hearing it personally from townsfolk in Cardiganshare.

Gwynn then take us back to the 13th century Black Book of Camarthen. (Notice that Malory was notorious for consuming 13th century works!) Here, back to the original welsh depiction of Dormarth, Rhys explains the problem with the name Dormarth. There's something erased from it in the original book, where it's written Dormach, instead.

Rhys theory on why Dormarth is written with march, and also erased, it's because the original scribe must have been instructed to write it as Dormarth, but ended up writing it as Dormarch. As said before, Dor= door, but March means horse. This probably confused anyone in charge of finishing the book, which made the decision to erase the ''R''. This creates a name with no meaning, thus solving the typo. Still, Rhys assure us it must have been instructed to write it as Dormarth. And he is probably the first author that does that.

But again, if you know the Breton language, you know that ''marth'' is not death. It instead is ''marv''. But Rhys explains that as well: In the also from the 13th century ''Book of Taliessin'' (not to confuse with the Deep Purple album), there's a poem about death, where it's mentioned as ''Marth'', not marv. The academics of the time deduced that Marth is death personified, a way to name Death itself. Rhys supports this idea by the etymology of the word, for example, starting from Latin:

-Mors > mortis > morte>marv>marth

By this idea, Dormarth is had as the personified death at the door of Annwn. To support even more this claim, Rhys describes old sayings from south Cardiganshare, where death was often described as a dog's mouth.

Going even further, Rhys proposes that maybe even English modern expressions like ''in the maws of death''. Or the german expression ''Rachen des Toden'' originated from here.

Rhys concludes:

''Its by this way, that one seeks to understand and the meaning of Dormarth.''

Here is where Dormarth as a guard dog originated. But as a guard dog of Gwynn App Nudd and his domain, not Callieach. At the same book from John Rhys, he also tells us that the Welsh believe that Gynn's hounds are led by a way bigger and fearsome one.

''He's bigger, louder, hunts at night, floating sometimes silently, sometimes devouring a victim that screams.''- Page 158.

So... Let's finish with Dormarth's resume:

Dormarth is one of the hounds of Anwnn, and Gwynn App Nudd in Welsh mythology. Due a gramatical error, its true name its hard to decipher, but it's clearly depicted as the hound that leads Gwynn's wild hunt and probably guards the gates of Annwn. It is the death at Annwn's door for anyone who shall approach.

Sources:

-Black Book of Camarthen (reprint and 13th century version)

-Celtic Folklore, Welsh and Manx - John Rhys

-Celtic Myth and Legend - Squire, Studies in Arthurian Legends - John Rhys.

#celtic mythology #welsh mythology #shin megami tensei #devil summoner #kazuma kaneko #Dormarth #Demons #Mythology #mythology and folklore #atlus games #blazescompendiumentry

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