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neovisioned · 4 years

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♡ꜜ out of my league﹫mark lee

out of my league - fitz and the tantrums

pairing : mark x reader (f)

genre : tiny angst, fluff, smut with some plot, bestfriend!mark, college!au, best friends to lovers.

warnings : weed, making out, fingering, unprotected sex, praising.

word count : +4k

synopsis : your best friend Mark Lee tells you all the things he believed, you were always out of his league.

Mark Lee has been in love with the same person for as long as he could remember. It's something he took some time to understand, days to wrap his head around.

Where do you draw the line between deep friendship, platonic love between friends and a connection running deeper, a love that seeks more than the label "friends" ?

Laying on your bed, his right hand throws a tennis ball in the air, easily catching it while his left hand hold the rolled up paper between two fingers.

It's a shame, the smoke he's blowing out of his lungs is probably sticking to your bed sheets, ones he noticed you washed the moment he dropped his body on your bed.

Soft rose fragrance, traces of an exotic fruit he can not pin point, though Mark is sure he could recognise the perfume of your detergent between thousands of others.

Heavy sigh, smoke escaping his lips like a dragon dissolving in the air, heavy eyelids closing in front of his brown irises. He really should stop smoking, Mark thinks. It's a black hole in his wallet, it is not that good for his health and fuck, does it makes his mind wonder.

Correction, Mark should stop smoking around you. Because, whenever he does, his mind might search in the deepest, darkest folds of his brain for a new topic, he'll always, forever, come back to you.

Mark Lee has been in love with you for as long as he can remember.

It's something he's been aware of for some years now. It's crazy how he can pinpoint the moment his mind clicked, the moment he put two and two together. He can still visualise the moment his heart went from a friendship he'd die for to a love he'd die for, one so strong he, himself, was dumbfounded by his years long blindness.

It happened right before prom, second to last year of high school. Mark Lee remembers when you stepped out of your father's car (he doesn't trust any other boy but Mark, he insisted on driving you to your school's dance).

Pretty deep blue dress, it's his favourite colour on his favourite person. You did not do anything special to your hair, only added a bit more makeup. Though, it's not your appearance that made everything click, you've always been pretty, it wasn't the first time your friend noticed.

Rather, it's when your date shows up. It's when one of the school's popular kid shows up and makes you dance that he understands. He wants it to be him so bad. He wants to make you twirl, he wants to make you laugh.

Mark understands it isn't just him being mad that you're not answering your phone, it's love. Jealousy, green monster eating away at his heart when he wonders if you're still with him, it's a hand tightly wrapping around the muscle when he wonders if you're going to fall into someone else's arms.

Mark remembers it, it was five years ago. Late summer night where he stayed on his phone for too long, love sick kid scrolling through pictures and pictures of his prom waiting for a text from his best friend.

He didn't say anything, maybe Mark was a bit of a coward, and you were out of his league.

“Mark ?”

From all the things you best friend loves about you, if he had to pick, it'd be the way you say his name. No matter the intonation, no matter the context, the men loves the way it sounds coming out of your lips.

He thinks he won't ever get enough of it, it's intoxicating, makes him think he has the prettiest name after your own.

Eyelids slowly open, tired smile stretching his lips. You're steading in front of your bed, freshly showered, hand turning your small projector on.

“Hm ?”, he doesn't bother answering with words, humming softly. His head turns to the side, following your movements around the bedroom he knows like the back of his hand.

“This one or...That one ?”, you ask, playing with your remote to show your best friend two animation movies you both saw too many times.

“First one.” You've noticed over time, his voice always gets deeper when he smokes, brown eyes always get a shade darker.

“Alright, baby chose.”

Ah, correction. If there's one thing that Mark loves, it's the pet names you give him. So natural, honey filled, he wished you meant them.

Baby, babe, darling. He loves it all, he wants it all, he wants you all.

Unaware of his thoughts, you finally crawl up next to him, the shirt you're wearing as your pyjamas riding up, Mark takes another hit at that.

Familiar sound of Netflix resonates in your room as you take yet another remote and turn your lights off, before gesturing towards your friend. You're not an avide smoker but, you infale the smoke a few times before giving the rolled up paper back to the brunette.

Mark knows what's about to happen, whenever your movie night has a bit of green, the movie gets long lost behind while you two would rather speak about anything and everything. After years of friendship, you'd think you two would've took and turned every subject under the pale moon but, Mark definitely did not expect this.

Hands free, he crushes the cigarette on the special painted bowl you have for him, Mark also loves the way you have some things for him on your house as if he lives with you.

Your right hand is quick to find his left hand, an old habit your have. Your fingers stretch against his own, comparing sizes like kids flirting, swinging your hands from left to right. Your arm easily gets tired by holding your hand up in the air like this, but the warmth of Mark's hand and the way his fingertips rough by his guitar strings brush against your palm every now and then feels like home.

“How do you know when you're in love ?”, your voice's soft, mindlessly humming to the song in the animation movie Mark chose. Is that the topic you decided to bring up...? Mark's hand stays still for a moment, following your own hand's movement as he thinks for a while.

“Don't give me that “You just know” bullshit.”, you mumble when he stays quiet for a bit too long.

“But I think you do, just know. I think it's different for everyone.”, he starts, speech slightly altered by the green herb intoxicating his mind.

“How is it... For you ?”, you ask. See, you know Mark had some crushes here and there, but you don't think he has ever been in love or, at least, he never told you.

“It's... Loving the way they say your name, wanting to be with them as much as possible. It's... Craving to be as close as possible.” and unconsciously, his fingers wrap around yours.

“It's finding happiness in their joy, sharing their sadness. It's small things like memorising the perfume they wear and what food they dislike.”

The brunette stays quiet for a moment, heavy eyes look upon your locked hands in the darkness, chest light, mind foggy.

“It's them feeling like home.”, he finally says.

Mark smiles to himself, you do feel like home, you make everything feel like home. From the way you have a pillow and the way you keep a toothbrush for him, to the way you always feel so warm and safe.

Thankfully for you, the lack of light hides the small blush creeping on your cheeks.

Mark doesn't know, you've been in love with him for years, though you've been aware for a bit longer. His confession takes your breathe away with a heavy sigh, you squeeze his hand.

“I was in love with you.”

Was, you take the safe route as the words fly out of your mouth before you can even understand. Even if he's shocked, you can play the past card.

“I was in love with you too.”, silence doesn't last long as Mark let's out as well, eyes on the movie even though he isn't paying any attention : his favourite line just played and he didn't even let a giggle out.

The words make your ears ring, skin burn red, heart beat against your ribcage. He was too...? He was. He isn't anymore.

“Why didn't you tell me ?”, you breath out, turning to the side. You use an elbow to support your body, you dare look at your best friend's face.

It's crazy how he still have the still has the same baby face you've always known, the same pretty eyes and the same smile, his jaw got sharper with years and voice deeper and yet, he's still the same. He's home.

Mark, him, doesn't dare look at you for a second. Before he does, soft eyes looking directly into yours. Why didn't he tell you ? He knows why, he has a list of reasons why and another list of reasons why he should've told you he'd rather not think about right in this moment.

“You're out of my league.”, he breathes out. You can read your best friend like a book, you know he is not joking when he tells you so. And yet, you can't wrap your head around the idea.

“I— What, no !”, you're almost whispering and screaming at him at the same time, getting up to sit on your knees. He was out of your league, he has always been, you never—.

“You were—. You are out of mine.”, you tell him, almost dumbfounded. For a split second, it feels like someone's finally giving you the dream you've always wanted and, the moment it touches your hands, it slips through your fingers.

Can you be nostalgic of something you've never even experienced ? And yet, your mind grabs onto a single thing. Present tense, you're still out of his league, he still thinks so.

In his semi-high state, the brunette chuckles out, as dumbfounded.

You wonder if there are feelings still unknown to humans because this, the pull you're feeling at the strings of your heart and the lump in your throat combined to the angering heat taking over your body aren't emotions you're used to feeling at the same time.

“Hey, what's wrong ?”, your best friend asks, an arm wrapping around your neck to pull you closer. You're sure it's supposed to be for hug, one you'd happily accept if you weren't in this very situation. Both forearms stop your body from colliding against his, Mark frowns.

In another situation, he'd be able to read you like an open book and, maybe he's thankful he isn't completely sober right now. If he wasn't slightly high, he'd be as red.

“Are you...Are you still in love with me ?”, you ask. It's almost a whisper, one Mark is sure he would've caught if it wasn't for the almost silent scene going on in the long forgotten movie.

Is he still in love with you ? Yes. His mind screams a loud, obnoxious yes. His body screams another loud and obnoxious yes and yet. Yet, Mark stays silent for what feels like minutes. He knows he is, he's sure of it, he doesn't know if he should say it.

Yes, yes, yes.

“Yeah.”

To be in love with your best friend, to confess your love after years, decades, even.

Such a simple word and yet, it hangs in the air, you can almost make it out in the slight darkness of the room. When Mark has the ability to put words on how he feels, you can't put anything on what goes on in your brain and body when he says the simple truth. You think your heart might fall out right into your best friend's hand, if he did not already have it. Your mind twist the word again and again just to find a fault, a break, a rupture.

There isn't none, he's in love with you.

There's another few seconds where you stay silent. You decide actions speak louder than words. Where Mark pulled you into a hug, you pull him into a kiss you've been craving for years.

Carnal need sleeping deep in both your minds, it doesn't need much to be awakened, burning a fire louder than hell's. Your lips touch his. Its shy, hesitant but, when Mark's arm tighten around your neck, no words need to be spoken.

The sweet, innocent, childlike kiss turns desperate in matter of seconds. Your best friend pulls you closer, closer, closer. He catches your leg between his, pushes your chest against his to the point where you can feel his heart hammering.

Lips move in harmony, common rhythm is quickly found and, you whine the moment he pulls away.

“Tell me.”, he breathes out against your lips, it's a desperate plea for something he had been waiting to hear, something he thought he'd never hear. “Say it.”, it's demanding, greedy. You give in easily.

“I'm in love with you.”

There's a weight pulled out of your chest, you'd chant it again and again if you could. You'd scream in if you could, you'd breathe it against his skin.

The brunette pulls you into a bruising kiss, he pours his soul out, hand cupping the back of your neck.

If this is a dream, Mark is determined to not let it go. Using his body at his advantage, positions are reversed, the brunette quickly towards over you. You switched you could turn the light back on but, the colourful lights of the movie dance against his jawline and shine against his wet lips, you decide your best friend looks like a painter's muse.

“There hasn't been a single day where I haven't thought about you.”, he breathes pretty words against your skin, taking his lips from your mouth to your jaw. It's loving, deep kisses, each to mean something.

“There hasn't been a single day where I haven't thought about being more to you, wished we were more.”

More, more, more. You want more too, you need more too. You refuse to let go now.

“We can be, we can.”, it's frantic. You cup his face with your hands, bringing him closer. “Spent nights thinking about what we could be.”

It makes flowers bloom in his chest, he isn't able to take his lips away from your skin. The tip of his nose digs in your cheek, he inhales deeply. Oh, how he loves the soap you use.

“What did you see ?”, he asks, lips peppering kisses down your neck, hand gripping your shirt. You're quick to pull it up above your hips. First wanting to completely pull it off your body, it seems the brunette isn't patient enough.

His lips leave your neck to your tummy, butterfly kisses here and there until he stops to your panties.

“Us. Together. Living tog—.”

Your sentence's quickly cut off by your best friend, maybe a lot more now, pressing his tongue flat against the fabric of your panties.

If you weren't aware of how wet you were getting, you sure were now.

“Living together, yeah ?”, he asks, bringing his face closer to yours again right after disregarding his shirt somewhere. There's a few seconds where you pose, shamelessly taking in the men's figure.

Forehead against yours, his digits run along the line of your underwear. He's as nervous as you are, as shaken up as you are yet, you two have never been more certain of one thing that doesn't need to be said anymore.

Mark bites down on his lip, you almost hear tje mechanism in his head twisting and turning to find the right way to ask you.

You beat him at it anyways, nodding as your arms wrap around his neck.

There's one thing you'll never tell him, you spent night dreaming about a future and other were filled with thoughts of his fingers.

The guitar player had pretty hands, even prettier when they wrapped around the neck of his guitar or when he picked as some strings.

“'was too scared to tell you.”, he says and, you'd tell him you know. You know exactly how it feels, the fear of rejection by the one you've know you're entire life. You'd tell him it doesn't matter now that you now if you could.

His fingers stop you from articulating right, index and middle finger greedily collecting the wetness between your folds, the brunette doesn't wait much longer before pushing two digits in.

“I—Mark.”, there it is, a moan of his name that intoxicates Mark more than any other drug. Pupils grow wide, ears greedy to hear more. It's him, him managing to make you moan so softly in the dead of the night, him that has you wrapped around his finger.

“Fuck, say my name again.”, it's another desperate plea, say his name again so he knows it isn't a vivid dream he's going to wake up from, say his name until it's the only thing rolling out of your tongue.

You easily oblige when he starts moving his fingers, slowly yet, in a way that quickly had you gasping for air.

There's nothing rough in his actions, expect from the way his teeth gaze at the skin of your neck before softly biting down just to sooth to spot with his tongue afterwards.

It's agonising, like he wants to make sure he maps out your body to remember it perfectly after tonight. His fingers curl and drag against your walls, he remembers how and where.

His free hand creeps under your raised shirt, quickly finding your chest as his mouth finds your again.

There, he catches every sweet sound you make like he doesn't want any body else to hear them, tongue tastes yours as they lazily battle.

“Shit, baby. Just like that, god.”, when you think Mark couldn't get any better, his fingertips brush against a spot that has your hips raising up, slowly rocking against his hand.

“Right there ?”, you nod frantically as he does it again and again, lazily fingering you whilst he lets your hips grind against his digits.

“So fucking pretty.”, it's a murmur once he detaches his lips from your own, wet and red by the exchange.

It's not the first time Mark calls you pretty but at this very moment, it's different.

His wrist twist the right way just as he's about to pick the pace up and the familiar feeling grows alongside the flower blooming in your chest as Mark whisperes sweet nothings into your ear.

He can feel it, the way your walls clench around his fingers, it has his cock throbbing in his sweats. Carnal desire to feel you wrapped around him as his fingers speed up until you come undone around them.

It's a mess of his name and profanities you hope your neighbours aren't hearing.

“Want more, want you.”, you babble once you come down from your high, sweat collecting around your hairline, chest irregularly raising up and down.

When Mark seems to take too long to process your words, you take matters into your own hand.

A moment, Mark struggles to find his words and the other, his back hits the bed with a soft gasp.

He's quick to raise with his elbows, almost having whiplash when you sit down on his lap after taking off your ruined and soaked panties.

“Let me help you with that.”, there's a slight shyness in your voice Mark decides he'd die for when your clumsily work on the strings of his grey sweats.

Unspoken words, soft silence when you look into his eyes and help him push the fabric down his thighs. The air is thick, your heart beats harder and harder, your chest swells when Mark pulls you closer by your hips.

“I've been in love with you.”, he starts as you raise, lining your core with his hard member, one your eyes lingered on before he opened his mouth. There's a pause, your lips part as to say something when you slowly sit down, but no sound comes from your mouth when Mark's leaking head pushes inside.

“For so— so fucking long.”, he uses the last bits of air in his lungs to let it out, voice cracking when you sit inch by inch.

You wonder how you went so long without telling him, telling him you love him feels too good to take it back or ever again. There's a slight part of you wondering where you'd be right now if you told him sooner but you're quick to push it away.

Both hands cup his face as you bring him closer for a kiss as you fully settle on his lap, though the exchange doesn't last long. There's a beautiful groan coming from the men in front of you just as you moan out from the sensitivity, the fulness.

Mark's red lips fall open the moment you start moving up and down on him, eyes rolling back the slightest bit like he forces himself to look at you as you ride him. But, when his groans turn into moans, the brunette hides his face in the crook of your neck, arms tightly wrapping around your waist.

You don't think your can be any closer, chest against chest, your mouth to his ear as he mumbles about how you were made for him.

Up and down, up and down, your legs start burning but you keep moving on top.

“Fuck, I love you.”, it slips out when his hips meet yours halfway, not that you can say it, you swear you won't stop doing it at any given occasion.

Mark answers my sucking on your neck, probably drawing blood as he more boldly snaps his hips against yours.

You find the same desperation as when he was kissing you, carnal need wanting to be met, he fucks into you just like he means it, switching between deep and slow to fast and short snaps.

For the second time, you feel it tighten, knot threatening to burst at any moment. If you aren't moaning, your mouth hands silently open and thankfully, Mark can tell you're getting close by the way you're clenching around him.

“You're doing so good, so so good for me.”, voice almost unrecognisable, the way you can feel every vein and the way he pulse tells you he's as close, if not more.

“Come with me.”

After years of tuning your body to his voice, it follows the command almost immediately, there's a few seconds where the brunette snaps his hips, slowly, deeply, right before letting a draw out moan against your neck.

It's the last thing you hear, the way he moans you name breathlessly against your skin before you follow right behind, coming right around him like he hoped so.

Moans and body against body sound abruptly stop for heavy breathing and soft whines, you blink a few times, forehead against Mark's baked shoulder.

He smells like the apple shampoo he almost wears, he feels like home when his arms tightly wrap around your body and rock from side to side, almost lolling you to sleep. He feels safe, familiar, comfortable.

And, right before you fall deep into sleep, you hear him slightly chuckle at his second favourite movie line.

#neovisioned #mark lee #mark smut #mark lee smut #nct smut #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #super m smut #nct fluff #nct aus #nct scenarios

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handlewithkara · 3 years

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@facepalming-since-chernobyl

I think the whole point is that SG writers or rather producers have no idea how to write the show or don’t have a plan or are just… really BAD at what thye are doing.

I always try to sort of cater my predictions to their skills. And yeah, they are not great. But Iook to pairings like Brainia and Dansen, pairings they apprently WANT to seem healthy and wholesome. And the writing there is still flawed and frustrating. But I think it still tells us something about how they view relationships.

Brainia and Dansen give me the vibe is that the writers value people supporting each other and having shared values. Compared to Kreisberg who was more about “I’m attracted to this person even though we have conflicts (and we later find out we have more in common or even start learning something new from them)”. The current writers are more about “yes we have problems and secrets, but we still come together and support each other because ultimately we care about each other and share the same values”.

Which is why to me Andrea and Lena feel like something that would make sense to these writers, because both are more morally “grey”.

I also think the writers just treat 5A as a playground that doesn’t matter. They will just never address it. Hoping for it is just a waste of time to me at this point. If feels like the writers look at it as “we knew crisis was coming, so we finally could let Lena do all kinds of nutty shit without having to own up for it”.

So I think for the rest of it, they look at it as Lena and Andrea being more even, where yes Andrea screwed Lena over and Lena did so in turn. They maybe both were trying to use each other and they are both characters to play dirty in business so they won’t hold it against each other that much in that way, potentially, presumably.

IF the writers are serious about writing a deeper bond between Andrea and Lena, so she is believable as Lena’s main sidekick or companion when the show ends then I would expect it to work more along the lines of how Dansen and Brania work (like Brainy being attentive of Nia’s insecurities in the prom episode or the Myxy episode, or Alex being attentive about Kelly’s desire to be Guardian and Kelly being attentive about Alex’s desire to adopt, heck even how Karamel were kind of attentive of each other’s feelings in 3B). Them supporting each other and being considerate of each other in a more personal way rather than in a generic Kara and Kelly are nice and empathetic with everyone kind of way.

Andrea helping Lena develop her magic could be that, them hunting Lex together could be that, them grieving William together could be that, Lena helping Actrata make inroads with the Superfriends could be that. I was gonna joke that Lena’s character seems kind of built around being inattentive of the feelings of others (though even though I don’t like her there are some things were you can argue traces of it, she was for example being protective of Sam and James in her own way even if it there were also elements of being misguided about it), so it’s going to be interesting how they are going to tackle that aspect. What I always say, whether Lena is going to be a better friend to Andrea than she was to Kara. Or if it’s just going to be the same with Andrea making her life supporting Lena’s stories and the only difference is that well at least she isn’t a much tortured borderline angelic super heroine, but kind of a messy jerk herself at least to others.

That does not mean that even if the writers do that that they will ever be the kind of relationship you like or can respect, let alone go shipper crazy for. Because the writers and you just have completely different values of what makes an interesting or good story or ship.

I’m just saying if the writers wanted to give Lena a good and healthy friendship to hold her up when the show is over, a relationship that the write according to their own values of what makes a good relationship this is how I would expect them to go about it

So when I try to predict whether this is a storyline the writers plan to do, these are the signs I will look for. (speaking of similarities, Brainia and Dansen (+3B Karamel) also all share scenes of one partner helping the other hone their skills and powers, that’s why it is so interesting to me whether Andrea will be with Lena in 13 or not, her being the one Lena talks to in her finding her powers episode is a good first step, but only the episodes after that will show whether they will develop it along those line or if that won’t kick in till later and some story with William, maybe about Lex).

The other thing are those shared values, because I think they kind of feed into the concept of how you can be yourself around the other person and you don’t have to censor yourself or change. There have been hints this season that Lena’s value system might still be subtly different from the Superfriends. Maybe the point isn’t going to be that she is finally going to be a repentant good person, she can keep her morality, she’s just going to be with a person (Andrea) who doesn’t have as much of a problem with it.

(which of course sounds scary as fuck for anybody who is a Lena disliker, but I think from the writers POV we are supposed to buy that in the end Lena’s vaguely positive interests will win out in the end.

It’s the diference between disliking Lena and thinking she would have to earn a happy and healthy relationship first and maybe the writers taking more the stance that they like Lena the way she is and her happy end is going to be with a person who is totally on board with her being the way she is, digging both her darker, more ruthless side and also understanding her angsty side)

#supergirl spoilers #rojascorp

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thechangeling · 3 years

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I was reading your co-signing the narrative post- great post btw- and your thoughts on Kit Lightwood helped me figure out exactly what bothers me about the way other characters talk about and treat him.

So, there’s this kind of this running “joke” in TLH that Christopher’s interests are boring, that everyone else puts up with it him as though it’s this big nuisance, that everyone zones out hearing him talk… and on and on and on.*** And then there’s this scene where Grace is genuinely interested or at least not bringing him down about his self-expression and the things that bring him joy, and that’s romanticized as special when it’s really kind of the bare fuckin minimum. Like, I’m not saying James/Matthew/Thomas had to immerse themselves completely in every sciency detail but the constant “jokes” implying that Christopher’s work is boring or incomprehensible or not worth their time is just so tiring. There’s always an undercurrent of “Christopher’s just playing around uselessly” (which is not true and even when he’s having fun with his work then it’s still automatically WORTHY and VALUABLE because it makes him happy!) Not to mention this recurring problem directly contradicts the value that Christopher’s work has (beyond its inherent value) when he sends it into the world to literally save lives: the poison antidote, the fire messages that will probably come about in CoT.

And the thing is, the merry thieves’ disinterest is directly meant to foil grace’s interest in order to lend the Grace/Kit relationship a certain significance, as CC assigns to it. I’m not saying shared excitement over an interest/hobby/career/field/etc isn’t sweet platonically or romantically. I just really dislike how the idea CC is using is “no one else can bear to tolerate Kit’s ‘quirks’ but Grace, and that is Endearing, and so they are Soulmates (TM)” rather than the much healthier and positive idea that “Kit does cool sciencey stuff which his family and friends generally don’t share as strong a passion for but still don’t huff about it like it’s somehow a chore or a burden on them, and then Grace comes along and she does happen to share a similar passion and that’s the beginning of their ties to one another.” That second reasoning is what could make their friendship really refreshing; we don’t need ableism poorly twined into romance to enjoy that relationship.

I haven’t read TDA in a while but I’m thinking we could also find touches of this with Ty partly because so much of when we see him is from Kit’s POV? Not that Kit means harm or thinks himself heroic but CC on the other hand is a repeat offender in “abled/white/straight/cis character is ultimately and completely responsible for the salvation of disabled/POC/queer character in this aspect.” And I’m kind of half dreading the wicked powers for that reason among others …

I apologize if all this seems obvious or rambly. I do sometimes have trouble articulating things exactly but when I read your post i had a lightbulb moment and I wanted to note it down.

Have a great day!

***Side Note: this is why I really enjoy fan-created content that explores Christopher’s relationships with people (even people he didn’t interact with on-page in the canon) without that annoying and problematic aspect built into the framework of the relationship.

^^^^^^^^^THIS ALL OF THIS!!!!!!

Full disclosure this is gonna be kind of long sorry. But you have stumbled across my favourite topic to rant about. Allistic saviorism. Basically the name is pretty self explanatory. It's when an allistic person fictional or otherwise has the desire to or actively attempts to essentially "save" the autistic person from the horrors of the world or their life, or even themselves because they think that the autistic person isn't strong or capable enough to fix/handle it on their own. All of this is usually done for very self serving reasons. Part of this is also allistic people being praised as heroes for being nice to autistic people or asking them out, or loving them.

I don't neccesarily think that kitty is an allistic savior ship on it's own. I think that there are definitely peices of those beliefs scattered throughout the books and it might get worse in TWP. That's honestly something that I'm worried about too tbh. But honestly I think that the fandom made it a billion times worse.

This mainly allistic fandom wanted to romanticize the idea of Kit taking care of Ty and shouldering the burden of his "unpredictability." Kit is the only one who can get through to Ty. The only one who understands the mystery that is Ty 🙄. Some of this is canon too. For example, Ty can look Kit in the eye, he lets him touch him. He doesn't wear the headphones when Kit's around right? And Kit was able to calm him down during his meltdown.

And while some of this is really cute from a romantic perspective, it's also kinda problematic because it reeks of allistic saviorism. It promotes the idea that Kit is like Ty's "cure." And that's just impossible.

And honestly I know I've contributed to this in some ways. Because if I'm being perfectly honest with you, there's a part of me that enjoys that. The romantization of autism.

The idea of being taken care of.

The idea that someone could love an autistic person and see them as "beautiful" and "extraordinary" and all the things Kit calls Ty, was incredibly moving and appealing to me as a kid. It still is. Because I grew up on stories of charity cases and allistic saviorism making headlines with prom dates. I was super secretive about it, but I was always a romantic growing up. But I thought that it was impossible for me to have a real love story because people like me don't get that. (Not to get all sob story on you sorry. I overshare. It's an autistic thing.)

And there are some really compelling things about kitty that really do work. And I'm not trying to suggest that Kit learning to help Ty with the ...shall we say more colourful traits of his disability is a bad thing always. It's not. But I think the issue is with Ty's lack of pov and Ty's lack of a narrative in the books. It makes him seem like less of a completely developed character and more like, "Kit's" you know?

And because we don't have Ty's pov we don't really get what makes Kit have this sort of calming effect on him or why it's different. And more importantly we don't get why Ty's letting him in, we only get Kit pushing past his boundries. The entire thing becomes about Kit essentially and that's at the root of all allistic saviorism.

Also like you mentioned before, Kit is seen as special to a certain extent because he can handle Ty. That's not neccesarily something the character believes obviously, but again with CC co-signing the damn narrative with the way she makes the impact Kit has on Ty such a big deal in everyone's eyes and in QOAAD she really emphasizes the drain Ty's necromancy plan is taking on Kit, suddenly Ty's grief becomes all about Kit and with no pov from Ty, it's more allistic savior bs.

Honestly most of this isnt actually THAT bad it's just when you throw it all together and look at the ugly history and let's be honest present, of autistic people being silenced and spoken over by our caregivers and loved ones and we are treated like burdens on them, and how those people are praised for loving us, it kinda looks bad. But the fandom definitely made it worse.

I always get criticized for criticizing kitty by allistic people with, " well if you think they're so toxic then why do you even ship them?" Which is a piss poor take lacking in any nuance. An autistic person has the right to critique a dynamic involving an autistic character. More to the point, you can love something and be critical of it. I swear when this fandom finally figures that one out... we could accomplish so much.

I'm really hoping this is making sense it's like 2 in the morning. As for Grace and Christopher's dynamic I agree with you. I basically have nothing to add. Bare minimum. Should not be idolized. The way the others treat him should not just be brushed off as no big deal. It's ableism.

Basically it's just a bunch of classic mistakes that come from a neurotypical abled writer writing nd characters. Some mistakes are more damning then others. But it does make me scared for TWP.

I can only hope.

#kit x ty #christopher lightwood #ty blackthorn #tsc #tlh #tda #twp #the last hours #the dark artifices #the wicked powers #actuallyautistic #allistic saviorism #asks

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thejakeformerlyknownasprince · 5 years

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Hi! As someone who’s literary opinion I really trust, I was surprised that you’re a twilight fan? I know almost nothing except commen knowledge things about that series, and I always assumed it was actually bad/un-feminist. What is it that you like so much that others seem to miss? I’m just genuinely curious about your take on the hate it always seems to get vs. it’s actual quality. I’m not gonna judge bc animorphs is also one of those books where you see it and assume it’s bad.

In over 14 years of loving this series, I’m not sure anyone has ever asked me why I enjoy it instead of simply trying to convince me that I’m wrong to do so. So thank you for that.

First and foremost, I love the Twilight saga because of the vivid detail in Stephenie Meyer’s writing style. The descriptions are so lush and dense with sensory information that you can practically bite down on them as you read. Bella and Jacob aren’t just sitting on the beach; they’re sitting on a gnarled log of driftwood, worn smooth at the top from where so many Quileute teens have sat upon it during bonfires but still uneven enough to rock on its branches when Bella suddenly stands to rage at her own mortality. Meyer describes that log in Twilight, so tangibly and with such economy of detail, that we recognize it immediately when Bella and Jacob return to that spot in Eclipse. I’ve always disliked the movies, because I’ve always felt that the best part of Meyer’s writing simply did not translate well to the screen.

Secondly, I love the feminism.

Okay, let’s take a quick pause to let everyone gasp and clutch their pearls over me calling Twilight a feminist work. I will address the criticisms later. For now, please just hear me out.

Twilight strikes me as a premier example of what Hélène Cixous means when she calls for “women’s writing,” or writing for women, about women, by women, with a strong focus on the concerns and strengths and desires of womanhood. This is a series about building and maintaining close relationships, both romantic and platonic. It celebrates beauty, and love, and care. Bella moves to Forks because she recognizes that her dad is lonely while her mom is quite the opposite, torn between family priorities. She doesn’t simply subsume her interests to those of other people, but instead actively chooses how and when and where to express her love for her birth family and her found families. Most of the other major decisions throughout the story — Alice “adopting” Bella, Carlisle moving the family to Alaska, Jacob becoming werewolf beta, the Cullens going up against the Volturi, etc. — are motivated by care and devotion for one’s family and friends. Even the selfish or morally ambiguous character choices are shown to be motivated by love. Rosalie tells Edward that Bella died because she genuinely thinks it’ll help him move on. Victoria creates an army that nearly destroys Forks because she’s avenging James. Alice abandons Bella and the others before the final battle because if she can’t save her entire family, then she’ll settle for saving her lover before letting him die in vain.

Not only is there a striking concern with love and care, but there’s also a strong commitment to avoiding violence. Bella’s eventual vamp-superpower proves to be preventing violence and protecting others, an awesome character decision that I’d argue gets set up as early as the first book. She lives in a violent world — this is a YA SF story, after all — but she has the power to suppress violence and create peace, both in herself and others. I was already sick of “power = ability to inflict damage” in YA stories well before I knew the word “patriarchy.” Twilight was one of the first books to convey to me that power could be refusing to do harm in spite of hunger or anger, that power could be shielding ones’ family, that power could be about building enough friendships and alliances to have an army at one’s back when facing an enemy too strong to take on alone.

Closely connected to all of that love and care, I love how much Twilight is about navigating teenage girlhood. Is it empowering, intersectional, or all-inclusive? Hell no. Does it still dare to suggest that a completely ordinary teenage girl could have valid concerns about the world? Yep. The main conflict of the story, as Stephen King so derisively explained, is about the romantic entanglements of a teenage girl, and the book therefore has no literary merit. (To quote my dad’s response: “Bold words from the guy who inflicted Firestarter on the world.”)

There is, indeed, a lot of romance in Twilight. There are a lot of clothes. Alice and Rosalie especially spend a lot of time on makeup, and hair, and choosing the prettiest cars and houses. Twilight embraces all the stereotypically “girly” concerns of adolescence, and makes no effort to apologize for or condemn them. Bella isn’t particularly good at performing them — she likes but doesn’t excel at shopping, fiercely defends her ugly car as ugly, hobbles through prom on crutches — but she can still enjoy the feeling of being pretty in a sparkly dress while dancing with her sparkly boyfriend. And Twilight, like Animorphs with Cassie, takes the daring step of treating that feeling as valid.

Speaking of sparkles, I love the commitment to the fantasy concept in Twilight, including the myriad mundanities that Meyer brings with that commitment. If you have super-speed, why not use it to play extreme baseball? If you’re a mindreader with a clairvoyant sister, why wouldn’t you two play mental chess games? I couldn’t tell you, after seven seasons of Buffy or eight of Vampire Diaries, what Spike or Damien or Angel or Stefan does all day when not brooding or lurking in the bushes to creep on human women. I can tell you what the Cullens get up to. Emmett and Rosalie work on their cars, usually by holding them overhead one-handed. Carlisle and Alice read plays, and sometimes talk the whole family into home Shakespeare productions. Edward and Carlisle debate theology, Emmett and Jasper have dumb athletic competitions, Edward and Esme play music, Alice manipulates stock markets, the twins go shopping online, etcetera. The Cullens feel real, feel like the vampires next door, in a way that Louis and Lestat simply do not.

To get to the elephant in the room — I just described Twilight as a feminist text! — let’s talk about the other thing the Cullens do for fun: they have sex. Weird sex. Kinky furniture-breaking sex. Sex that Emmett (who would know) compares to bear-wrestling. These books suck with regards to queer representation, but they are sex-positive. They feature an old-school Anglican protagonist offering his daughter-in-law a medical abortion. They treat Edward’s desire for sex only within marriage and Alice’s desire for sex outside of marriage as both being valid. Like I said, not groundbreaking, even by the standards of 2005, but still more than most teen novels do even today.

There’s a passage from Breaking Dawn that people love to pull out of context as “everything wrong with Twilight in two paragraphs” because it describes Bella waking up the morning after sex with bruises on her arms. That moment is shocking out of context, to be sure — but in context, it’s the end result of an in-depth consent negotiation that lasts four books. Bella says that she’d like to become a vampire. Edward says okay, but only if she spends a few more years living as a human and considering that choice. Bella says okay, but only if Edward, not Carlisle, becomes the one to turn her. Edward says they can use his venom, but that Carlisle, who’s an MD, really needs to supervise the process. Bella doesn’t love the idea of Edward’s stepdad cockblocking what’s supposed to be an intimate moment, and so agrees only on the grounds that she gets to have sex with Edward as a human first. Edward’s hella Catholic, so he requests that they get married first. Bella’s super horny, so she demands that the wedding happen within six months. Edward says that he might hurt her during sex, and Bella says that she wants a little hurt during sex. They marry. They bang. During the banging, Edward makes every effort to be controlled and courteous and gentile, while Bella goes wild and crazy. The next morning, she has bruises and he does not. Edward apologizes, but Bella’s actually really into it. She spends a while admiring her sexy vamp-marked self in the mirror, touches the bruises many times, and reminds us yet again that Bella Swan’s whole M.O. is being a monsterfucker. Her kink is not my kink, and that’s okay.

To be clear, I think there are other aspects of the romance that get criticized for good reason. Edward does not negotiate with Bella before sneaking into her room to watch her sleep, and he does make unacceptable use of their power differences when he thinks she’s in danger of being mauled by werewolves. The text condemns Jacob’s “don’t wanna die a virgin” ploy to manipulate a kiss out of Bella, but not the wider conceit of all the male characters as possessing uncontrollable urges. Bella’s struggles to adjust to a new town feel very feminine and realistic; her amused tolerance of Jacob’s and Mike’s sexual harassment as the price for their friendship does not. Werewolf imprinting might be mostly platonic, but that doesn’t make it okay for Meyer to depict it as a form of soulmate bonding that happens with child characters. Those are good points, all around. I just wish that most of them didn’t come up in the context of post-hoc rationalizations for loathing the femininity of a feminine text.

I’m not calling Twilight an unproblematic series. I’m saying that it gets (rightly!) criticized for appropriating Quileute culture, while Buffy’s total absence of main characters of color and blatant anti-Romani racism are (wrongly!) not remarked upon. I'm saying that I’ve been told I’m a misogynist for liking Twilight but not for liking James Bond. I’m saying that there’s a reason people tend to go “oh, that makes so much sense!” when I let them in on the fact that reactive hatred for “Twitards” started and spread on 4Chan, later home of Gamergate and incel culture. I’m saying that Twilight depicts problematic relationship dynamics as sexy — but then so do Vampire Academy, Blue Bloods, Supernatural, Vladimir Tod, and Vampire Diaries. All of which take the time to stop and thumb their noses at Twilight, smug in the superiority of having vampires that fly rather than vampires that sparkle, and for thoroughly condemning teenage girls for being girly while continuing to show men inflicting violence on them.

After all, as Erin May Kelly puts it: “we live in a world taught to hate everything to do with little girls. We hate the books they read and the bands they like. Is there anything the world makes fun of more than One Direction and Twilight?” No one has ever called me a misogynist for liking the MCU, in spite of less than a third of its movies even managing to clear the low-low bar of the Bechdel test. Because people are still allowed to like Harry Potter in spite of its racism, or Lord of the Rings despite its imperialism. Because hatred for Twilight was never about its very real sexism, or the genuinely silly sparkle-vampires, until it had to justify itself as something other than hate for everything that teenage girls have ever dared openly love.

I enjoy the novels, and I enjoy the fan fiction that tries to fix some of the problems with the novels. I appreciate the extent to which Meyer has elevated fan culture, and made an effort to acknowledge her own past mistakes. I would love to be able to talk about my love for the series as a flawed but beautiful work of literature, but for now I’ll settle for asking that the world just let me enjoy it in peace.

#twilight #the twilight saga #breaking dawn #eclipse #new moon #stephenie meyer #fandom #nothing to do with animorphs #misogyny #ableist language #sexist language #long post #sexism #romance #anonymous #asks

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wlw-lovestruck-fiction · 4 years

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Well. In light of the recent vanessa fic, I am going to request a few things. How about Helena going to MC's high school reunion?

WARNINGS: Intolerable sexist arseholes Referenced rape culture Blood and minor violence Written by: @evoedbd ******************************************

“Helena… my feet hurt.” Kya’s soft, plaintive voice rung like gunshots in Helena’s ears. To hear that Kya was in pain caused a war of sensations within the Sorceress, turning her chest into a battlefield as she aimed to pick out her own thoughts amidst the din. The music was too loud. All pulsing beats and pop hits that all bled into one another in an unpleasant screech. With all the beauty Kya’s people could capture, the fact they abused that power to capture such meaningless garble was bad enough, but the songs that Helena’s ears had picked out went beyond this. The images of men taking what they pleased, or endlessly fucking hoes and capping foes… it set her teeth on edge. Why would anybody wish to put a cap on someone they disliked so much? It was absolutely beyond her. After all, she had seen the selfishness of humanity. She had seen people who would do precisely what the songs fantasized about. She had been one of those prizes. The pet. The mess left behind once a tyrant had finished with her for the night. She had been the violated girl dragging herself across the floors because she couldn’t walk, trailing blood. Why did some of Kya’s people find this concept worth celebrating? How many even knew what they danced to? “Helena?” This time, Kya’s voice was pleading. A gentle touch to Helena’s ravaged senses. This was accompanied by the lightest touch to her forearm, fingertips begging for more yet restraining themselves until Helena gave consent. The Sorceress had to close her eyes, to stop watching and picture a much calmer place. An open field, filled with flowers that had no name, not in this world. Flowers woven through black hair, accompanying laughter that became wings for Helena’s soul. She didn’t particularly want to open her eyes to the gyrating crowds. Around her, she could feel a thousand candles, each flickering in time with the sea of sorry, middle-aged bodies awkwardly trying to reclaim their youth. All dressed in finery above their means as they tried to convince everyone of their success and happiness, even as they reeked of misery. An ocean of people, all smiling politely whilst firing knives from their tongue, shooting daggers from their eyes. Alcohol flowing a little too freely, too dangerously. Control, so willingly abandoned. It was as if none of them knew its value. As if none of these people had ever seen or experienced control torn away completely, until even the breath a body took was at another’s whim. Then there were the lights. A spinning ball reflected everything, casting a thousand fragments of light across the floor, growing larger as they grew further from the centre. Spinning chaos across the wooden floors, illuminating the deep blue lighting, catching in the mist across the dancing masses. An unnatural mist summoned by machines… and Kya said her people possessed no magic. “Helena… are you with me?” The longing to answer hit her harder than a boulder from a catapult against a crumbling castle wall. Gods, how she wanted to open her eyes and find only one person before her. Yet, she was surrounded; drowning in the sea of bodies as the unnatural mist lapped at her ankles. As elbows collided with her, or fingers nipped at the bottom of her hair like vultures testing the fight left in their meat. Her heart pounded, beating against the cage of her chest much like how her magic pulsed with her fears. Limbs tingled; fingers began to move on instinct. Then, warmth. So much warmth. Enough that she gasped. Instantly, her lungs filled with air; her nose with that delicious mix she had never quite learned. Something soft, something smoky and then a hint of spice. Always, it was sweet. So very, very intoxicatingly sweet… but not sugary. The underlying bitterness of coffee tempered sweetness so deliciously that Helena found herself devoured by her craving for that scent. A second inhale gave her more, slowly begun to redirect her roaming senses to a singular focus. It was enough for her to open her eyes. “Welcome back.” A kind voice fell from naked lips. The smile upon them was small, nothing intended for the world to see. A secret amidst the crowd, the last life jacket on the Titanic. Just seeing it was enough for Helena to be saved. Shining grey eyes accompanied that encouraging little smile. Adoration glistened in beautiful grey depths, outshining the tinges of concern playing flecks in bluestone. In the swirling lights and dulled room, stone was more akin to gems than cobble, captivating Helena’s attention for far longer than society deemed polite. She could care less. Museums held marble statues of deities past, depictions of Aphrodite to stare at for hours. Marble was incomparable to the greys, Aphrodite a hag compared to the graceful woman donning such a flowing black dress. Elegance in its purest simplicity. “As if I could ever be parted from you.” Helena gave her best attempt at a purr. It was effective, given the creep of pink over Kya’s pale cheeks. Pale, not bloodless, Helena reminded herself. Bloodless was danger. It was the colour Kya had gone after the Queen’s spell struck her. It was the colour Kya had been when the Queen held a blade to her throat, when the Queen tormented Helena into confessing every pain, tried to make Sorceress scream and kneel. Tried to break her. Bloodless was the Witch Queen leering over a terrified girl, or ordering her most loyal man to ensure said girl was prepared… Helena flinched. Faster than Helena could blink, Kya’s hands left her, gathering in front of said woman’s chest. Kya held her hands there patiently, as if they were to be bound. Somehow, the speed and implications of such a gesture did not spark further fear within Helena, did not reignite the painful memories lapping at the edge of her consciousness. How such gestures could be made soft and welcoming, appealing even, still befuddled her. Flummoxed, her breath caught, even as Kya spoke. “Helena, I’m going to grab your tie, ok? I won’t pull, and my hands won’t move until I know you are ok. If you need to grab me, that’s ok. I know you won’t hurt me. We can just sway.” “The music is too upbeat for such a slow dance.” Came Helena’s rebuttal, even as her body moved to follow Kya’s suggestion. Cautiously, she gathered Kya into her chest, holding the otherworldly beauty there as if the world might snatch her away. Beneath Helena’s pale skin magic simmered. It heated her veins, writhing and bubbling like serpents of heated tar. She could feel the sparks escaping her control, trapped between her skin and her silken black button up. Kya had expressed her appreciation for Helena’s suit, several times, yet Helena had not seen the appeal until just now. The darkness of her shirt slimmed her down a little, whilst also concealing the fact she was sweating bullets. Her turquoise suit jacket was cut to perfection, emphasising both the strength of her shoulders and her feminine curves, without drawing attention to an overly generous bust. The matching pants fit her like a second skin, showing off impossibly long legs right to heels which meant business. Not only did they elevate her above the heads of many men, they also screamed womanly power. That she could, and would, step on any fool who crossed her path. Then, there was her crisp white tie… the very tie currently embraced between Kya’s gentle fingers. “Who cares about the music? We make our own rules, babe, always have. This was meant to be something fun, Helena. I didn’t think it’d be like this. I just thought it’d be romantic. Like going to prom with my soulmate, instead of some boy who expected me to finish the night on the backseat of his car.” “That boy dare-“ “He didn’t try to physically force me. He was confused as to why I wouldn’t, tried to convince me verbally, but he never laid a hand on me. He wasn’t a bad person, just an ignorant one. He was influenced by the wrong people. He actually wrote me an apology. It doesn’t makes my memory of prom the best.” “Yeah, had a bitch, but she ain’t bad as you. So hit me up when you passing through. I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two” “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” Kya exploded, her wrath erupting in an enraged shout. Her voice carried, drawing countless gazes to the human embodiment of furious flames about to claim their penance. Kya’s entire body trembled, almost as if her growls were causing her to vibrate, and her cheeks took on a hue often associated with a devil. The fire in her eyes seemed poised to devour the world in its search for vengeance, yet Kya tempered it to three precise culprits. Three large men, all crowding around an uncomfortable-looking DJ who cringed as the song continued to play across a stagnant dance floor. “What’s wrong? Don’t like the music, dyke?” The first man sneered, his voice grating from between crooked teeth. His mates laughed, playfully jabbing him in his well-padded arms, hooting their drunken approval. His large belly jiggled as he laughed. Helena’s eye was drawn to his shirt, specifically the valiant efforts of a single thread stretched between a disconnected button and said shirt. “You’ve been playing rape culture bullshit for over half an hour. Do you even know what half of this shit means? Slip her a Molly? That is roofies! Drugging a woman’s drink to sleep with her, cause that’s totally sexy. That Nirvana song? It is literally about a rape victim. Did you idiots even stop to think that some people here might have gone through that?” Kya’s accusations were sharp, to the point, a jab of a blade straight to the ribcage. “We thought it was setting the mood. Isn’t your bitch DTF? She looks the type.” The second man taunted, giving a poor attempt at a suggestive wiggle of his brows. This man appeared more in shape, lithe, with the veins standing stark beneath his muscles. However, the stench of alcohol was only smothered by the copious amounts of noisme body spray he stained his wrinkled shirt with. “This isn’t the 1800s, dude. Women have the right to get married and be together outside of a Pornhub video.” Kya’s tone dropped along with her brows, her expression challenging, daring the men to come up with a retort worthy of her. “It isn’t rape if the bitch wants it.” The third man jeered. Unlike his counterparts, he appeared clean and put together, something Helena might have even called attractive before he opened his mouth. A good-looking man, ruined by his horrific mouth or corrupt by the company he kept. “What happened to you three? How can you be so cruel as to deliberately target someone just for existing? I know you’ve been watching us and noticed Helena’s reactions.” Kya’s words struck Helena to the core. Suddenly everything made too much sense. How the songs had seemed to only get worse and worse, their violations and sexist attitude more crudely represented. More stark. How the music had steadily grown louder and louder, until their sounds had burned into Helena’s consciousness. Until they became shadows which she could not be free of. Shadows where leering eyes hid, a pride of lions or a pack of wolves slowly circling their prey. What she had dismissed as a trickle of sweat down her back now stood out, an instinctual twinge, a warning. One she had not taken heed of. It left her wondering, was anywhere truly safe for her aside from Kya’s arms? Even in this strange new world, where nobody knew her crimes, she found herself persecuted. Had coming here truly been the new start she believed it to be? Or had she just fled her own insecurity into a pit of newer, wiser vipers whilst she played catch up for over thirty years of missing knowledge? “This is America, we have the right to listen to what we want.” “You have a constitutional right not to be a colossal dick.” Kya fired back without pause. This earned several snickers from around the room at the man’s expense. She wasn’t done, not even close. Kya continued, launching into a scolding with enough disgust in her tone to cow the watching crowds. “After everything she has done for this damn country, hell, the world, she deserves ONE night without some douchebags throwing shit at her. All we wanted was to come and have a lovely night out, not cop sexual harassment from a failed security guard, an alcoholic and a walking advertisement for how not to be a man all trying to relive their high school glory days.” “What? She got bored of servicing all the real men and went for her own bitch to boss around instead?” The second man taunted, snickering loudly at Kya’s repulsed expression. The expression was barely a flicker on the way to a smile. No, a smile implied genuine joy and happiness. Kya’s expression was something far darker. Ink dropped into water, sinking to the bottom of the glass. Purity tainted by malicious intent. Helena internally flinched. That expression was unlike anything she had seen from Kya before, save when Kya dealt with the Queen. It was the closest Kya could ever come to such wickedness; the closest Helena could bare to see her fall. “Oh I get it now. This is about your inferiority complex that no woman as gorgeous as Helena would want to be within ten feet of you unless it was to deliver a restraining order.” Kya’s voice was so calm, so crisp and clear, yet somehow a sneer. Something that even the Witch Queen could never truly pull off. It all happened so fast. Faster than Helena could even react. One moment, Kya was snarling in the face of some asshole, the next he had reached out in a sloppy attempt to smack her. Kya was faster. In a blink, she had grabbed the man’s wrist, grip unyielding, stepped into his space and twisted her body. Just like Helena had taught her. The man went plummeting to the ground in a flurry of ill-fitting formalwear and disgusting body spray. The collision was bone-jarring, filling the room with an audible thud. Before anybody could do anything more than gasp, the third man launched at Kya’s exposed back. Helena’s heart leapt into her throat, her magic burning beneath her skin in preparation to unleash. It was a pointless endeavour. Kya moved naturally, as fluidly as a trickling stream with the passion of a dancer and the heart of a knight. Her elbow came up, driven into the man’s nose without a moment of hesitation. He too fell, left with only his hands to try and still the raging current of blood pouring between his trembling fingers. His hands desperately palmed the broken mass of his nose, which made his cries sound wet and gargling. A second strike, a vicious kick to his groin, ensured he would not be getting up again. Helena arched a brow. That was not something she had taught Kya. “How?” The most rotund of the three questioned, wisely keeping his hands well away from Kya as she stormed up to him. Helena knew his fear, it was once an intimate companion to her afterall. He looked at Kya as if she were the Witch Queen, something which sat uneasily in Helena’s gut. Even here, Kya was not the Queen. She had not taken evident joy in her power over these men, nor in their fear. Kya wore an entirely too calm expression, as if the violence had been a bore to her. As if the blood running down her arm was something to be nonchalant about. She was silent as she reached out, hooking a single finger into the string stretched between button and shirt. Finally, it gave out, snapping under the added pressure. Then, Kya spoke, her voice kept low as if to protect the man from further humiliation. “My wife is a war hero. I’m not the scary one.” She informed, using the tails of his shirt to wipe the blood from her arm. At Kya’s words, Helena noticed the room focus on her for a moment, awe and respect flooding their eyes in a manner that was entirely too familiar. Too uncomfortable. It was the awe and fear of Reiner’s army. How long would it be until they too saw the monster she could be? Could that be how they now viewed Kya? “She’s earned her peace, and I’ll fuck up anybody who tries to attack that. She shouldn’t have to kill anybody else to protect this country, let alone deal with shitfucks like your friends shaming her for having an ounce of happiness.” Kya continued, eyes blazing dangerously. That. That there was something the Queen never had. The heat in her eyes, the fire and compassion. Helena’s heart rose in her throat. She’d seen this scene before. The Queen, leering over her prey, leaning down to mock their failure before she crushed them. Now Helena could see it. Kya’s connection to the Queen. The heat had faded from her cheeks, yet that heat seemed to have migrated to her eyes. Where the queen froze, Kya blazed, charring the man’s willpower to cinders with but one annoyed glance. Her focused glare had him trembling, fearing what she might do next. Helena felt that fear. Had the queen claimed her lover? Was she to truly lose her happiness now? Was fate so cruel? “Your friends will need medical care. That elbow could have broken more than his nose, and your other buddy smacked his head pretty hard.” Kya added, concern filtering into her expression for a microsecond before she turned. With the grace and confidence of a Queen, she strode over to the first man, her dress fluttering around her knees like wisps of shadows and silk. She leaned down towards the man, crouching so that she could speak directly to him. “If I ever hear you dared touch another soul without their consent, then you will no longer have hands.” Kya warned, her voice a tide of outrage tempered by her own compassion. Her hand upon him reminded him to stay down, but also touched with concern. Feeling how his heart rose to meet her palm. Despite his unfocused gaze, he afforded her his full attention, staring at her as if he was looking upon an Angel. No, not an Angel. A Valkyrie of Nordic legend. A guide to the lost heroes, the one to guide their souls to peace. Helena understood, for she gazed in utter devotion. This Kya was a new creature, one embodying her soulmate, channelling Helena’s protective energy in a uniquely Kya way. Helena couldn’t help but smile, to grace her protector with an approving twitch of her lips and a nod. Kya was not the Queen, nor did she continue her violence when it was not in defence. She had picked up arms in this moment so Helena would not. So Helena did not have to. Just as Kya had promised, she protected Helena’s peace. Kya rose after a few more moments, stony eyes softened to gems as she gazed upon Helena. The Valkyrie extended her hand, fingers imploring Helena’s to weave between them with a silent little wiggle. Helena, a lost soul if ever there was one, was helpless to do anything but reach, to accept the hand offered to her. With the softest of smiles, she entrusted herself entirely to her soulmate, her Valkyrie, trusting that if Kya was not her peace then at least she would lead Helena there.

#Anonymous #lovestruck #love and legends #love and legends helena #helena klein #lovestruck helena #helena x mc #angst #fluffy angst #tw: blood #tw: violence #tw: reference to rape culture #woeful wednesday

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vertigoimprint · 3 years

Text

alright, here are my ramblings about the hellfire gala outfits, with ratings:

these are just my opinions, you can ask about them but be polite. also this post is long, hence the keep reading.

faves first, let’s start this on a positive note.

Storm’s is the best without question. The black and gold color combo, the jewelry, the shoulder pads, the flowing hair, the cape made of clouds and lightning! Perfection. The only thing I dislike about it is the heel of the shoes but that’s easy to ignore. 5/5.

This gives me such 80s/90s rogue vibes. Lace and leather (I’m just gonna assume it’s leather, could be latex idc) is a perfect combo for rogue. The colors are great and I’m a big fan of the sunglasses. However, I’m not a huge fan of how high the cut of the jacket goes. On the other hand, I do like the shoes. 4/5.

Now warren doesn’t have as much going on as some of the others, but I appreciate the look for what it is. I like the jacket/cape and the gold chain holding it in place. Love that there’s no shirt <3 and the flowey pants are nice. The shoes boring but...whatever. 3/5.

alright faves out of the way...let’s get on with the others...

I really like this outfit, the colors are nice, the shoulders are very much padded. However this looks like Jean’s new costume, not the special gala attire it’s meant to be. If it were Jean’s new costume, it’d be a 4/5. In reality, it’s a 3/5.

...Sigh. I see...something here. Potential for something nice, not amazing, but nice. However the weird red stomach and bulky build just overpower the good elements of this outfit. I like the visor but not when it’s paired with this bulky piece. This outfit has the same problem as Jean’s. This feels like a costume he would wear to the next mission rather than fancy gala attire. 2/5. That rating feels a bit generous but in comparison to some other outfits...it’s deserved.

Speaking of other outfits. I will start this by admitting that I am absolutely biased against this outfit due to it being worn by Betsy “Body-snatcher” Braddock. However, you could put this outfit on literally any of my faves and I wouldn’t feel any kinder towards it. First off, why did they give her the cartoon old lady updo and expect it to work with her magical girl cosplay? (not that it could work on it’s own, mind you.) The red face paint is...there, it’s not really doing anything but it’s there. The sleeves are working for me, as I am a lover of puffy sleeves. However, the chest armor and short skirt are not. The boots would be fine on their own but the weird fabric hanging off them just makes them look plain ugly. Also, glove ribbons...no. 1/5.

Oh boy. So I’m not going to point out why using rachel’s hound costume was a bad idea, as others already have. But I will say that while yes, rachel’s hound costume is admittedly very cool looking to me, this is just a much, much, much uglier version of it. Also adding a muzzle was certainly...a choice. Not gonna touch on the leash made of human hair, 1/5. Seriously though, who’s hair is that. Did they make out of donations?

If I had to some this look up in one word, it’d be “Disappointing.” Monet Yvette Clarisse Maria Therese St. Croix may not have the most memorable looks but she oozes glamour out of her pores. This could’ve been her moment to get the luxurious, glamorous, memorable look that she deserves. But we got this...okay look instead. It’s fine. I don’t know how I feel about the sheer pants, I think the headpiece is out of place, the shoes are just ugly, and for whatever reason this look screams beach at me. 2/5.

Oh kitty...never did learn how to put a decent outfit together, did you?

I’m joking. Even though that look might’ve been very...very, it was charming in it’s own special way. I love it in all honesty. I can’t say the same for kitty’s- or should I say, kate’s, gala attire though. This is, in my humble opinion, the worst outfit. There’s so much going on here, I can’t even fully describe how much I hate it. The weird half cape, half prom dress look is ambitious but does not hit the mark. (hit? make? whatever.) Then it just gets worse with the half collar, the marching band sleeve, and the seven of nine eye detail. But what really solidifies it’s place as The Worst...is the brown boots. Just look at them! 0/5. Sorry, kitty.

Last but not least...maybe. We have all three of emma’s looks. Starting with-

This!..whatever it is. Now the idea of putting emma in a big fluffy coat is a good one, one that feels oh so right. But putting her in only a big fluffy coat...with a boob window and some ugly pumps, is not a good idea. I don’t even want to talk about the headpiece, 1/5.

Now this is better. Though not by much. I like the middle piece, I like the cut and the x shapes on her sleeves. I like this...uhm...fur carpet she’s dragging around. Would look nicer as a cape, maybe a boa. But sure, put it around your wrists, you’re Emma Fucking Frost, you can do that. Looking down, however...is when the outfit gets worse. Looking up isn’t such a good option either. What is it with Dauterman and these ugly headpieces? 2.5/5.

And now the final emma look. Which just so happens to be the best. I love that emma’s diamond form is apart of the look. The slicked back hair is lovely. I don’t mind the finger gloves, which is surprising since I’m not the biggest fan of them. I could talk about how I hate the shoes but I’d like to be positive about at least one emma look. 3/5.

#eva.txt #it has been done

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south-park-meta · 3 years

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Cataglottism – Kissing with tongue. RandyxSharon

There's something good to be said about a small town, and that's that you know everyone inside out and backwards. You know enough to have opinions on people you've never met, though the odds are you'll meet them eventually.

For the most part Sharon's opinions on people have never been the kind to change, whether she knew them firsthand or second. She's always trusted her gut. She's always felt like she's known right from wrong, whether that was found in something intangible or personified. She's never liked to second guess herself. Likely no one does, but she thinks she likes it less than most. Second guesses mean you might have made a mistake. She's a Catholic, raised the strict sort; her parents tell her it's actions that matter, not the intent, hide away your thoughts. The right thing to do is stick with her guns, always be dedicated, always be sure.

Randy's one of the only people she's ever changed her mind on. He's a year older than she is, and she only sees him in passing. He's got a loud enough personality she hears it without talking to him, and it's not what she likes to hear. He takes on dares readily, he'll chug glue or hot sauce and laugh while fanning his mouth. He'll sell his class on causes and shrug his shoulders and drop them two weeks later. He's in more than his fair share of fights, willing to brawl with anyone he thinks deserves it. The things she hears say he has no self respect and no real convictions. Violence has always bothered her.

Her brother, Jimbo, is five years older than she is. It's just enough of a difference that they aren't close the way siblings are meant to be close, like the best friends she sometimes wishes they were. But their parents aren't exactly parental, either; spare the rod and spoil the child, and all, and Jimbo puts pegs on his bike so she can stand on the back to come with when he goes to his friends' houses, and later always has room for her in his pickup once he starts driving. He's a hands-off kind of babysitter, but it's better than going home. The first time she talks to Randy is on one of these trips, when Jimbo takes her to see his friend, Mike. Mike's little brother, David, has some friends over, too, and one of them is Randy.

Jimbo and Mike take off down the hall. The younger boys are all sitting on the couch when she comes in. They've just started high school and don't get girls yet. She’s at the end of middle school, which is enough for them to see her as a kid, but she’s also only one year younger, which is enough to see her as a girl. They all offer up their spots on the couch for her. She rolls her eyes and sits on the floor. For the most part they ignore her as they make dumb jokes, but sometimes Randy will go, “Hey, Sharon!” or David will throw a little something at her back; she sees Randy give him a little shove out of the corner of her eye when he does. She reads an old TV Guide that Mike's parents have out on the coffee table. Then Jimbo and Mike start making noise from the bedroom in the back. She knows what they're doing, but in a way that's still a bit abstract in her mind. Her parents never have talked about sex. She’s picked up what she knows from her friends, who know only about as much as she does. She knows, though, that if Jimbo were doing this in their house he’d be packing his bags that night.

That's when Randy sits next to her and says, "So. Your brother's kind of...funny, huh?" in a tone like he's trying to be her friend. Or maybe like he's trying to console her. It would be an innocuous word except for the weight it carries.

Her nostrils flare. "You say that to his face and see what happens," she says, "He's going to be in the Army." He'd started the process just that week.

That's not the thing that changes her mind on Randy-- it makes her think he's worse if anything, and she steps outside to sit on the porch until Jimbo's ready to go. But it's the moment before the moment that she changes her mind.

Because there's something bad to be said about a small town, and that's that you know everyone inside out and backwards. Secondhand, if not first, and everyone hears about it in the end. When a few high school boys want to kick Jimbo's ass a few weeks before he goes to basic training, it so happens that Randy's one of the ones in the audience. The three boys that fight her brother are all at least sixteen, and even if they weren't it's not like Randy would be expected to do anything except mind his own business. No one else who's watching does. But he hops on in and fights with her brother instead of against him. Her brother's a good fighter. Randy's not, exactly, but he leans into punches to control the impact instead of trying to get away from them, and not that many people are willing to fight the instinct to avoid. Jimbo wins. He's a little pissed about it, says he could've handled himself and didn't need a fucking freshman helping him out, but he still takes Randy back to their house to steal a couple of beers from the fridge.

"I thought you'd be on the other side," Sharon says, sitting on the swing set in their backyard.

"Oh, yeah?" Randy asks. He's sitting on the second swing. He's definitely too tall for it. He doesn't sound offended. He takes a drink of the beer her brother gave him.

"You called Jimbo 'funny'," she reminds him.

"Well uh-duh," Randy says, "He was fucking Mike. That's some real....funny stuff." She has the feeling he would be saying a word other than 'funny' this time if it wasn't her brother. She also knows it's a word she's heard all over town, casual and normal, that still makes her insides squirm even as she ignores it. Jimbo himself says those things about other boys, and not nicely. "Doesn't mean he needs his ass kicked for it. 'Sides, it wasn't even a fair fight."

She hums. "Aren't you too young to drink?" she asks.

"What're you, my mom? God."

Somehow the way he says it makes her smile. "No," she says, "But I bet your mom's going to be mad about that black eye you've got." She chews her lip and suggests, "I can get my makeup, to try and cover it." She never wears it; her own mom would be mad if she did. She just tries it on in the mirror sometimes.

"I don't have to cover it," Randy says, "They don't care."

Either of his parents, then, instead of just his mom. He doesn't sound bothered by it, but it bothers her.

That's when she stops disliking Randy Marsh.

When he finishes his beer he invites her to a clubhouse that weekend. She accepts.

It's not finished yet, when she gets there. Gerald Broflovski and Stuart McCormick are the ones building it in Stuart's mom's backyard-- that's one of the kinds of secrets they wouldn't discuss in Sharon's family; that Stuart's parents are divorced. For what it is, the clubhouse looks good. They've been working on it over a year, apparently, begging for defective wood from lumberyards and construction workers and getting palettes to pull apart with crowbars for free from supermarkets. It means the wood's a little warped and not everything's been sanded, but it's big, impressive for having started at thirteen. Randy's the odd man out, she can tell. He says how good everything's looking and Gerald and Stuart share a look and a laugh, and Gerald says "Yeah, we know," in a pretentious sort of way. Randy doesn't seem to notice.

A few more girls and a few more boys show up, and they play spin the bottle with a chipped beer bottle they grab from the grass in the backyard. She kisses Randy for the first time then, crawling into the middle to meet each other on a floor made of palettes. She gets a sliver in her right knee for her trouble. The kiss ties her stomach in knots and just about makes her hurl, in a way she hasn't since she kissed Brian Haywood in third grade, and she's glad for the pain to distract her.

They don't exactly date. Not seriously, anyway, with labels. But she'll sit with him to eat lunch and they hold hands on the walk to school sometimes, and they go that way, untethered, for a while.

The first time they date, for real, is when he asks her to prom and she says yes.

Most of the night is good. Some of it isn't. Right at the end Randy gets in a fight with Tom, a boy who's had a crush on her for years, who she never gave a minute to even when all she had was sitting with Randy at lunch. They go to Randy's car afterwards, and drive out to the country a ways to sit. "I don't know why you do that," she says, "Get in fights." She'd liked it, though, when he fought to help her brother. And Tom's an asshole, the kind of boy who's pulled her pigtails and made comments about her breasts, and she doesn't really mind that Randy's fought him tonight, either. Sometimes, especially in the future, her tone will be more judgmental, or annoyed. Right now it's mostly honestly confused.

"Aw, I don't know," Randy says, earnestly. She likes him when he's earnest. "To feel something, I guess."

"Randy. Everything you do should make you feel something. We're on a date right now, doesn't that make you feel something?"

Randy gives her a very funny kind of expression, like he's missing something. Like he hasn't realized until that moment that he shouldn't have to be outlandish to have emotions that stick. "Well. Yeah. Kind of," he agrees.

'Kind of' isn't exactly romantic. But she can work with it. She grabs his tie and pulls him in for a kiss, and his lips part against hers. Her point takes a long moment to make, her tongue moving against his, her fingers letting go of his tie and curling up in his shirt. "Doesn't this make you feel anything?" she asks, but their mouths are together again before he can answer her.

Again they're pressing into each other, tasting each other, mussing up hair and clothes, before he gets out a, "Yeah. I do. I feel something."

It makes her feel something, too, it makes her feel in love, which she tells herself is silly, since she and Randy haven't had much of a real relationship. They've had friendship with kisses and this one date. But she goes with it. She's never liked to second guess herself.

#Randy marsh #sharon marsh #not meta #long post #cut for length it's still pretty pg #homophobia tw-- some mention of a fight and parental disapproval but otherwise canon typical

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ellewritesathing · 4 years

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Ten Things II

Summary: If there’s one thing you have to know about Harvey Kinkle, it’s that he rarely thinks things through. So when he meets (and falls for) Sabrina Spellman on his first day of Baxter High and finds out that she can’t date anyone until her tempestuous sister does, it seems like the obvious solution is to get someone to date her so he can go out with Sabrina. A not so obvious choice for the challenge is Caliban, but, hey, it’s not like Harvey thought that far.

Masterlist Prev. | Part 2

Word-count: 1.8k+

A/N: this part is a little short but i hope you guys like it!!

Though Sabrina didn’t know very much about him, one thing was very clear: Harvey Kinkle was determined. It had taken him only a few days to figure out that she tutored people during study hall for extra money, and then he’d been letting her teach him chemistry every day since then.

Harvey was sweet, and a good listener. He had a slight problem staying focused but his distractions always left her with little drawings on her study notes. For all intents and purposes, Harvey was the perfect boy next door. He would make the perfect boyfriend, too, if she didn’t still have feelings for Nick.

But Sabrina couldn’t date Nick or anyone else until you did. So, for now, the fact that Harvey could make her laugh would have to be enough.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Harvey asked quietly, bumping his elbow into hers lightly.

Sabrina smiled and started closing her books, noticing a drawing of a flower in the margins that hadn't been there before. “Oh, nothing. How long was I out?”

“About a minute. And you say I’m the one with concentration issues.” Sabrina laughed but when she didn’t say anything else, he added, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Sabrina looked up from packing away her things long enough to see how nervous Harvey was. He was twisting his pencil in his hand when she looked at him. “Sure, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, uh, nothing’s wrong,” Harvey stammered. He leaned back ever so slightly and started fiddling with his pencil with a new intensity. “I was just wondering if you ... If you’d like to go out sometime. With me.”

“Harvey, I…”

“Oh no.” Harvey groaned and put his head in his hands. “You don’t like me like that and I just made things super awkward, right? Ugh, I’ll show myself out. Don’t worry about-”

Sabrina couldn’t help but laugh as she reached out and tried to pull his hands away from his face. She held his hands in hers as she tried to calm him down. “Harvey, no. It’s not like that.” She took a breath and adjusted, putting her hands on the table. “My aunts have this rule where I can’t date anyone until my sister does.”

“Oh,” Harvey said softly. He looked down at where her hands used to be holding his and Sabrina felt a pang of guilt in her chest.

“Yeah, and she’s not really …” Sabrina looked away. “There’s no one here that would- that she would …”

Harvey was quiet for a few minutes before he looked back up at her. “What if I know a guy?” he asked.

---

Ever since that day outside the principal’s office, Harvey had mostly stayed away from Caliban. He was a senior so they didn’t have any of the same classes, and it’s not like he was exactly a team player so Harvey never saw him at basketball practice. Harvey was also a little scared of him, if he was being honest; there were a ton of rumors going around about him that weren’t exactly family-friendly. Staying away was easier.

Finding him was surprisingly easy. Speaking to him was not easy.

“So, uh, what do you think?” Harvey asked after he explained the whole story. Caliban continued to sprawl out on the bench and flick his lighter on and off so Harvey repeated himself.

“You want to get together with blondie-” Caliban pointed to where Sabrina stood on the field, getting ready for cheer practice. “But you can’t because her sister is a devout nun, who you want me to corrupt. Is that about it?”

Harvey shifted uncomfortably under Caliban’s gaze. When he put it like that, it sounded awful. “Yeah, that’s about it.”

“Why me?” Caliban asked.

“I hear her sister’s, uh, kind of …”

“Tempestuous?”

“A raging bitch is what comes up more often, but, uh, let’s go with that,” Harvey said. “So will you do it? I can’t pay you, but if you’re good with this then I’m pretty sure I can get Nick Scratch to.”

Caliban hummed slightly, making Harvey more nervous than he wanted to admit. “Nicholas Scratch. How’d you manage that one?”

Before Harvey had the chance to answer, a soccer ball came flying at them and he jumped away to avoid being hit. Caliban narrowly avoided setting himself on fire with his lighter.

“What the bloody hell was that?” Caliban hissed as he got to his feet, capping his lighter angrily.

“That-” Harvey took a breath as he put an arm around Caliban’s shoulders and pointed you out on the field “-Was your new girlfriend. Say hi.”

Caliban had this weird look on his face when Harvey looked over at him. His mouth turned up and he waved at you. You flipped him off. He smiled a bit wider.

“I’ll do it,” Caliban said.

---

Believe it or not, Caliban actually liked Greendale. The people stopped all their ‘being friendly’ crap pretty soon and started leaving him alone, he’d found a place that made decent coffee, and there was a stray cat behind the bleachers that purred whenever he came close. But now he was being harassed by a guy who used more hair gel a day than they sold in the bottle, and Caliban’s patience was starting to slip.

Nicholas Scratch. Nick. They’d had a few classes together so far, but he made it clear he had no interest in Caliban and Caliban had no interest in him so they rarely talked. Now dear Nicholas had no problem talking.

“So what’s it gonna take, man?” Nicholas asked for the third time. “Someone to do your homework? Money?”

It’s not that Caliban disliked talking - he had no issues when Harvey was doing the talking - it’s that he disliked Nicholas.

“Twenty bucks is as high as I’ll go.”

“Well, let’s see-” Caliban let out a breath as he stood up and started walking around Nicholas “-I take her to the movies, and I pay for both of us because I'm a gentleman. That’s $20. Since she’s a lady, I also buy her popcorn and those little sour candies. That’s $40. Then there’s the gas it takes to get there, the probable dinner she’s going to want … Let’s round up at $100, shall we?”

Caliban would ask you out for free. Not for Harvey or this asshole, but because you had a lovely little habit of rolling your eyes at everything he said and then, very badly, trying to hide the smile that tried to spread across your face.

Nicholas tightened his jaw as he thought about the offer.

“Fine. Here’s the money,” he said as he dug out his wallet. Of course, he was the kind of person to keep one hundred dollars in cash on him. “Make sure she goes to the party next Friday. If you can get her to prom, I’ll double it.”

“Triple it. I don’t own a tux.”

Again, Nicholas clenched his jaw and looked away for a second. “It’s a deal. Don’t screw it up.”

---

Caliban had been bugging you all week. He put notes in your locker that featured either lame pickup lines or little tidbits about people who’d done something dumb that day (begrudgingly, you had a favorite: when Billy walked face-first into an open locker), watched your practices but was long gone by the time you changed out of your uniform, and left his smoker smell on your stuff. It was a wonder you hadn’t punched him yet, but the day was young.

You were ready to track him down after school but found him waiting for you by your locker with his usual annoying smile on his face.

“What is your problem?” you asked when you’d stomped close enough for him to hear you.

“Hello to you, too, princess,” Caliban said sweetly.

“Don’t say hello to me and don’t call me princess.” You poked his chest on the second ‘don’t.’ “Why are you stalking me?”

“Stalking is a bit of a leap, isn’t it?” Caliban asked. His eyes sparkled with an infuriating sort of amusement, but he stepped aside so you could get to your locker.

“No, it isn’t. You leave me gifts, watch me, and never actually speak to me,” you said, punching in your combination. The lock popped open as you continued, “It’s creepy.”

“I’ll admit, it’s not my best attempt at getting your attention, but you walk away whenever I try to speak to you in person,” Caliban said.

“Gee, I wonder if there’s a reason for that,” you said as you lifted a hand to your chin to feign thinking about it. “Have you ever thought it’s because I don’t like you?”

“How could you not like me? I’ve been flirting with you for almost a week,” Caliban said.

“Well, stop flirting with me! First of all, you’re bad at it.” You shoved a book into your locker when it refused to cooperate with a huff. “And second of all, I don’t date smokers.”

“Good thing I don’t smoke.”

You snorted and turned to look at him. He was a liar with the smile of an angel. He also had a lighter in the front pocket of his dumb leather jacket. You reached over and pulled the old, silver zippo lighter from his jacket. “You sure about that, Sparky?”

Caliban smiled and took the lighter out of your hand. Though it only touched yours for a second, it was far warmer and softer than you’d expected. “Have you ever thought I just like to set things on fire?” he asked.

“An arsonist and a stalker. Are you sure you’re single?” you asked as you tried to steady your heart again.

Caliban laughed under his breath and looked down at the ground for a second before giving you a surprisingly unguarded smile. “So, if I stop smoking, you’ll date me?”

You rolled your eyes and closed your locker. You adjusted your bag before turning back to Caliban and giving him a smile of your own. For a second, all of Caliban’s cockiness faded as you grabbed a handful of his shirt to pull him closer to you. In a low voice, you said, “I don’t think you’re ready to date someone like me, Sparky.”

You let go of his shirt, patted his chest, and took a few steps backward before turning on your heel and walking towards the parking lot.

---

You left without turning around to see Caliban with the most dumbstruck look on his face. Caliban was never ‘dumbstruck.’ He was the one that left people looking like this, he was the one doing the striking. But you’d struck him first.

And if you kept striking him, Caliban was bound to do something dumb like fall in love with you.

Tagged: @t-a-i-l-o-r-m-a-d-e @miss--moose @marrypuffsstuff @harryscarolinaa @igorsbby @foji2000 @hxlalokidottir @artaxerxesthegreat @thxmagic @strawberriesandknives @xealia @hotmessindisguise @acciomaximoff @reheated-coffee @shelby-x @perseny-blog @millie-753 @luneerius @shizzybarnaclee @lettherebelovex @throughparisallthroughrome @ietss @thebookwormlife @mechanicalanimalz @mariamermaid @nqbmf @caliban-is-my-girl @shephard17895 @music-movies @luquincy @olivia-west-allen @drrramaaaqweeen @roxytheimmortal (struck through wouldn’t tag)

#Caliban #ten things #caos #Chilling Adventures of Sabrina #caliban imagine #caliban x reader

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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Do you take lessons for anything? No.

Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? No, thankfully.

If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I haven’t worn any makeup for like 3 years now.

Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? One does, the other has glass sliding doors.

If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? I only have one pet.

Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No.

Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? “Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in?” and I said, “No.”

Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? There’s this delicious garlic parm popcorn seasoning one of my local theaters offers that’s really good. You can actually get it at the store, which I have.

Are you lonely? I feel lonely in what I’m going through right now.

What’s your favorite magazine to read? I haven’t read a magazine in several years.

Do you like pineapple? No.

Have you ever seen fireflies? Yeah.

Have you ever trespassed? No.

Do you tell your parents where you are going? I don’t go anywhere now except for doctor appointments, which my mom takes me to, but back when I had a social life and friends and actually did stuff I always let my family know I was going to be hanging out. It didn’t matter that I was an adult, that’s how my family is with each other. We don’t give a play by play, but it’s just nice to let someone know.

Do you raise your hand or participate in class? Ugh, I hated the classes that required that as part of your grade.

Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? I used to.

Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? No!

Would you ever see a therapist? Yes. I’m actually supposed to call Monday and finally set something up.

Are you afraid of heights? Yes.

Are you afraid of the dark? I don’t want to be out and about at night and I have to sleep with my TV on for both light and sound.

Are you a jealous person? I can be. I haven’t felt jealous in quite a long time, though.

When is your birthday? July 28th.

What are you listening to right now? An ASMR video.

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? Yes.

Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? I just have Facebook “friends” that I’ve known since kindergarten.

What is the most important thing to you? My loved ones.

Do you like whipped cream? Yeah.

Are you close to your mother? Yes, she’s my best friend.

Are you close to your father? We don’t have the same kind of relationship my mom and I do, but we don’t have a bad one or anything. It’s just different.

Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks? I always have socks on.

Do you like chocolate popsicles? I did as a kid. I haven’t had one in such a long time.

Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? No.

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Both would be an awesome experience.

Have you ever written a poem? I dabbled with it in my teens. It’s so cringe.

Would you ever be a tornado chaser? Uh, absolutely not. I’d be trying to get as far away as possible.

What is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I very rarely use BBQ sauce, but it’s good with chicken tenders.

Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? I wish I could have a relaxing beach getaway. In the perfect scenario we’d be able to rent a beach house and have our own private beach area where I could rent a canopy bed and lie out at the beach. That’s what I need right now.

What do you think is a good theme for a prom? *shrug* My prom was over a decade ago now, I’m not thinking about that stuff.

Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? I had to take a math class in 6th grade because I missed a lot of school due to a long hospital stay after a surgical procedure and then I had to retake a math course once in community college. I also took some summer classes voluntarily as well at community college to speed things up a bit.

Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? Always. I just expect the worst all the time.

Have you ever been to the rainforest? No.

Have you ever created a website? Just like on those websites like freewebs or whatever it was called back in the day for fansites. It was just website that let you make your own simple websites.

Ever thought about writing a book? Yes.

Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? No, but I’ve had nightmares where I’m being chased, attacked, and even shot at.

Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? I mean, yeah.

Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? Both suck, but a runny nose can really be a nuisance if it’s bad. I’ve had times where I had to stuff a tissue in my nostril cause it was so bad. Not being able to breathe isn’t pleasant either, though...

Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? That’s tough cause I have a lot of stomach problems and it’s absolutely awful. I very rarely get sore throats, I don’t even recall the last time, but having it hurt when swallowing is not fun and swallowing is something you continuously do, so it’s not exactly something you can avoid. I also feel like there’s not a whole lot you can do about it either.

Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? I wouldn’t say a disaster.

Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? Nope. I’ve never really given it a real try either, I give up quite easily and quickly.

Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? It’s easier for me to talk to the void in surveys or on Twitter.

Would you consider yourself to be emo? I’ll always be emo.

Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I’m not into metal, but lately the surveys I’ve been taking it’s clear that the creators sure are. It’s likely the same person.

What is your current desktop picture? Alexander Skarsgard.

Thick or thin blanket? I just use a throw blanket.

Who are your favorite bands? Idk man, I haven’t really been into much music lately. <<< Same. I have my favorites that have been my favorites forever and always will be, but I don’t have any new ones or any I’ve discovered recently.

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I prefer to use a highlighter, but circling with a pen works.

Have you ever sewn something? No.

What did you eat for dinner last night? A Lean Cuisine microwave meal.

Ever been grounded? Yeah.

Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? I haven’t seen any of them.

When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) It’s been a few years.

Have you ever drank Cherry Coke? Yeah. That was one of my favorites when I was younger.

Have you ever had a black eye? No.

Have you ever eaten a bug? Never voluntarily, that’s for sure. I don’t want to think about the times I unknowingly have. *shivers*

Do you like pranking people? No.

Did you ever take a cooking class in school? No.

Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? Nah. On that day my mom just makes corned beef and cabbage, mostly cause my dad loves it. I don’t care for it, though.

Do you use Skype? No.

Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? No.

Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No.

Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven’t seen him in like 5 years. He doesn’t post photos of himself on social media either so I honestly have no idea what he looks like now.

Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I don’t feel like it right now.

Have you ever cheated on a test? No.

Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No.

How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? I don’t have a job.

Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? All the time. I’ve always loved to read.

When was the last time you were scared? I’ve been really stressed and nervous about some health related things.

What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? I like several of her songs. Can you speak binary? No. I know absolutely nothing about that.

Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? Neither, thanks.

Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? No.

When was the last time you saw hail? It’s been several years, actually.

What is on your mind right this second: A lot of things.

Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Uh, yeah. Countless nicknames.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? It’s been awhile. Hair doesn’t really grow there for me, so.

Do you ever try free samples at the store? Not usually, but I have. Especially at Costco.

Do you like boys with long hair? My personal preference is short hair.

Do you like root beer? I’ve always had a love/hate relationship with Root Beer. I used to not like it at all, then I could tolerate it if that’s all there was and I wanted something, and then there have been times where I’ve actually wanted it and enjoyed it, so. *shrug* It was never a first choice, though.

What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? I’m gonna count Wingstop as fast food.

Do you have faith in yourself? No. :/

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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augustusgreen · 3 years

Text

Get to know Augustus, basically his vogue interview.

Part 1: The Basics

What is your full name? August Romeo Green

Where and when were you born? Austin Texas, November 12th.

Who are/were your parents? Tom and Anne Green, both still living but I have gone very low contact.

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? No siblings that I am aware of.

Where do you live now, and with whom? I live in a kind of small apartment alone.

What is your occupation? A member of the hospital board.

Write a full physical description of yourself. - White, 5 foot 10, regular weight, clearly visible muscles, dresses smart casual most of the time.

To which social class do you belong? Middle class.

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? A slight intolerance to gluten. No diseases or physical weaknesses.

Are you right- or left-handed? Left handed.

What does your voice sound like? A little rough around the edges, deep.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Fuck, shit, damn.

What do you have in your pockets? Keys, wallet, sometimes chewing gum.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I would say no but some would say that my incessant pen clicking is pretty irritating.

Part 2: Growing Up

How would you describe your childhood in general? Not the worst, but most spent time with babysitters as opposed to parents.

What is your earliest memory? Falling off a wall in the play area of an apartment complex we were living in.

How much schooling have you had? All the way to college.

Did you enjoy school? Very much so.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? Going through life.

While growing up, did you have any role models? Not necessarily.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? Got on better with aunts and uncles rather than my parents.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? An astronaut.

As a child, what were your favorite activities? Soccer, karate, baseball.

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? A lot of impulsivity and fearlessness.

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? Not overly popular but I had a lot of friends.

When and with whom was your first kiss? A girl called Mabel Arias when we were fourteen.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? No. I lost my virginity in high school at a party.

Part 3: Past Influences

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Graduating college ranks pretty high.

Who has had the most influence on you? My tenth grade English teacher.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Again, graduating college.

What is your greatest regret? Not having a better relationship with my parents.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I wouldn’t class anything that I have ever done as evil.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? None at all.

When was the time you were the most frightened? At the age of four when a tornado hit my town.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Getting rejected for the high school prom.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I would try more with my parents.

What is your best memory? Playing in a park with my cousins, I don’t remember it too well, I just remember being the happiest I ever had been.

What is your worst memory? Losing my grandma at the age of sixteen.

Part 4: Beliefs And Opinions

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic mostly.

What is your greatest fear? The unknown.

What are your religious views? I don’t believe in any higher power but I would like to believe in some kind of afterlife.

What are your political views? I am either here not there, definitely democrat.

What are your views on sex? I love it.

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? No.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Hurt another, or hurt animals.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? I would like to but I don’t think I do.

What do you believe makes a successful life? A good well rounded education.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? I try to be as open and honest as I possibly can.

Do you have any biases or prejudices? No, I don’t think so.

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Drugs, will never do it because drugs are bad.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? No one.

Part 5: Relationships With Others

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? I like to treat everyone with respect but will always hold the people I love higher than others.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? Myself because if you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to love you.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? My grandfather because he worked his entire life.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I don’t have many friends, the friends that I do have are more acquaintances than anything.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. Nope.

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Once, around six years ago, I feel deeply in love and have never loved anyone like it since. It was simultaneously the best and worst feeling in the world, it just didn’t work out.

What do you look for in a potential lover? Humour, kindness and obviously some sort of attraction.

How close are you to your family? Not very.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? No and I do not want to because of my own parents.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? A cousin or one of my aunts.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? Myself.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? I’m not too sure.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? I wouldn’t say that I despise anyone.

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Some conflict is healthy.

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? A little.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Not necessarily, I find it hard to fit myself in to conversations.

Do you care what others think of you? Not all the time.

Part 6: Likes And Dislikes

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Working, reading, drawing.

What is your most treasured possession? A watch from my grandfather.

What is your favorite color? Blue, but like sky blue.

What is your favorite food? Anything that isn’t necessarily healthy.

What, if anything, do you like to read? I like to read anything fiction.

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? A film or a book with a very good plot twist, music with a good beat.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I drink but not to excess. No drugs or smoking.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? If I am not working overtime, I will be at home with my feet up watching tv.

What makes you laugh? People falling over, as long as they’re not too hurt.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Nothing in particular.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Well.....

How do you deal with stress? As above.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? I like to have a plan but I can be spontaneous at times.

What are your pet peeves? Rudeness, someone chewing with their mouth open.

Part 7: Self Images And Etc.

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? Getting up around 6am each day, starting with a coffee and then a shower and then work. Come home from work, have another shower and then dinner and then relax. Routine isn’t all that important to me.

What is your greatest strength as a person? Empathy.

What is your greatest weakness? I’m not sure.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? My relatioships with others.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted? A little here and there.

Are you generally organized or messy? More in the middle than anything.

Do you like yourself? Yes.

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Find true love.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Still doing the same thing.

If you could choose, how would you want to die? Peacefully in my sleep.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? My hard work.

What three words best describe your personality? Fun, Kind, Honest.

#traumaintro

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #346

“i was in a car crash (or was it the war?) / but i’ve never been quite the same”

Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? Not to my recollection. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I don't wear makeup frequently whatsoever, but if I do put some on, it's always black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? Well, one is a snake and one is a cat, so no, they don't. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? Well, besides in this survey, Mom asked me if I wanted some shrimp she didn't finish. A true stunner, but I didn't want anymore. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing other than what was mentioned. Are you lonely? To be totally transparent, I'm extremely lonely on multiple levels. What’s your favorite magazine to read? Don't have one. Do you like pineapple? Yeah. But keep it off my pizza. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yeah, they're common in the summer here. Have you ever trespassed? Not to my knowledge. My sister, neighbor, and I regularly visited this shack as kids, just exploring and checking stuff out, and someone eventually did approach us and tell us to leave, but idk if anyone ACTUALLY owned the property? We never saw any signs. Do you tell your parents where you are going? Yeah; if I live with them, they have the right to know. Do you agree with the notion that all people were created equal? Yeah. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not really, no. Too many people, too many stores I don't care about, too much walking. Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? I've given pets a pop when they've done something wrong, but seriously hurt, fuck no. Would you ever see a therapist? I've seen a therapist consistently since the 6th grade. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. I used to not be, but it's a fear I've developed over time for no apparent reason. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Are you a jealous person? I was literally just thinking about this yesterday how much I hate how I've developed a jealous and envious side. It's not a feeling I used to experience like at all, so it's very uncomfortable to feel. When is your birthday? February 5th. What are you listening to right now? A John Wolfe playthrough of The Sinking City. It's really interesting and is making me wanna read Lovecraft books, haha. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? Probably at some point. Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? No. What is the most important thing to you? My mental health. Do you like whip cream? NO. The taste is fine, but I can't handle the texture of it. Are you close to your mother? Very. Are you close to your father? Yeah, but not as close as I am with my mother. Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks? Yeah, I stay barefoot. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Yessss, I love them. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? Ew, no. Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Probably the Great Wall. Have you ever written a poem? I've written loads. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK no. Never, ever, EVER. what is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate barbecue sauce. Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? As a family? Maybe Alaska. What do you think is a good theme for a prom? Um, maybe princesses and princes? It sounds cute, leave me alone. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? Not very, but somewhat. I'm always terrified to get on the scale and am also afraid I'll find out I have diabetes with how heavily it runs in my family, and I'm not exactly healthy. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. As cool as it would be, I would neeeever manage. The humidity would murder me. Have you ever created a website? Yeah, a few. Ever thought about writing a book? Yeah. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? I don't think so, but I have nightmares ALL the time where I'm fighting to defend myself. Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Daydreams? Oh, yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? STUFFY. Having a runny nose surely isn't fun either, but at least you can have tissues handy. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? 100% sick to your stomach. I do nooot respond well to stomach pain. Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? Not at all. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? No. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Sara or Mom. Would you consider yourself to be emo? I don't care for stereotypes, I'm whatever. Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I love metal, and my favorite artist is of course Ozzy Osbourne. What is your current desktop picture? My favorite picture of my late dog Teddy. Thick or thin blanket? I like thick ones. Cozier. Who are your favorite bands? Everyone knows my #1 is Ozzy, so I'll list some of my others that just fall behind him (in no order): Metallica, Otep, Marilyn Manson, Korn, In This Moment, Powerwolf, Motionless In White, Rammstein, A Day to Remember, Cradle of Filth, Mother Mother... There's a lot, really. How do you mark through your word search puzzles? It depends on what I have at my disposal, really. I think typically I would just circle the words with a pencil, but I'd prefer to use a highlighter. Have you ever sewn something? No. What did you eat for dinner last night? Mom made shrimp scampi with a side of white rice. It was delicious. Ever been grounded? If so, for what? Yeah, on multiple occasions. I think the longest was when I ran away from home. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No; I've only seen the first one with Tyler. I did, however, have the video game as a kid, and I LOVED it. I could never beat the final stage, though. :( When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Months ago with my niece. She was hooked on playing Uno with me because I always let her win. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? Omg yes, I LOVE it. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Have you ever eaten a bug? No. Do you like pranking people? No. Did you ever take a cooking class in school? No. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Do you use Skype? Only to talk to Sara. Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? Definitely not. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Two are. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I'd rather not because it'll really set off my PTSD. Have you ever cheated on a test? Nope. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? I read A LOOOOOT as a kid. I was a total bookworm. When was the last time you were scared? Excluding in nightmares that I don't remember, uhhh probably back when my PHP therapist surprised me by whipping out a poem I'd written and sharing it in front of the whole group. It wasn't the "bad" kind of scared, but I sure did feel fear. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" has always been #1. There's this '80s synthwave remix of the song that I adorrrreeee. Can you speak binary? Nope. Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? I've dealt with hurricanes all my life and they don't terrify me NEARLY as much as the mere idea of a tornado, so. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? None that were mine personally, but coincidentally, I didn't like two dogs my little sister had. The first one was just mildly annoying, and as much as I hate admitting it, I literally hated her last dog. When was the last time you saw hail? Maybe like... a month ago or something like that? Time is kinda blurry for me on this. We had an absolute downpour of hail one morning, then just... nothing. What is on your mind right this second: I have this at-home sleep study tonight and I'm pretty much obsessing over "what if I don't have a nightmare?" when, for ONCE, I want/need myself to. To be real, I don't know exactly what will change in my life if I do have a sleep apnea diagnosis or something that we're not already doing, but. Mom more than anyone just wants professionals to see that something is seriously wrong and needs fixing. Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Both have them, yeah. I think I call Venus "Miss Venus" more than her real name, then she's also "baby girl," "pretty," "beautiful girl," etc. I call Roman just "butt" a lot, haha, then there's "son," "Mama's boy," "bud"... When was the last time you shaved your legs? Not since last October. Nobody sees my legs, so I just don't care. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if I'm actually interested in the food. Do you like boys with long hair? That's actually my preference. Do you like rootbeer? It's not insufferable, but I'm not really a fan. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic. Do you have faith in yourself? What a question to end it on, 'cuz I don't have a fuckin' clue these days.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''down in the park'' by marilyn manson

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strayneoculturekids · 5 years

Text

I Really, Really Like You - Jaemin x Reader

Summary: You’d never cared much for romance, nor have you ever cared much for the affairs of those around you- especially those of your classmates’. That’s why, when prom came around, you had already decided that you wouldn’t be going. It’s not until a certain popular boy named Na Jaemin developed a crush on you- the only person who he couldn’t get to fall for his charms- that you began to change your mind.

Highschool AU, Prom AU

Genre: fluff

Requested by @baebooyah: Popularboy!Jaemin au. He wants to ask you to prom, the only person who doesn't fall for his charming manners and stunning smile, but finds himself in a dilemma due to his extreme clumsiness and shyness when it comes to you. He keeps doing stupid stuff in order to make you laugh. CAN I GET THIS PLEASE UWU — 🌗

Enjoy~!

----

“Y/N!” Your friend, Chenle yelled, running up to you from behind

You swiveled around, trying not to bump into anyone, and faced your overly-excited friend. He was smiling brightly at you, as he always did. You didn’t really have that many close friends, though, Zhong Chenle and his best friend, Park Jisung, had grown on you a lot. You gave a small smile back to Chenle and waved slightly.

“Prom is coming up” He stated, walking alongside you in the school corridors

“And?” You looked at him, unimpressed

You hated school events, as well. There was no other way to say it: they sucked. Teachers were constantly supervising everything and it was always far too loud for any enjoyment, and you were sure that this year's prom would be no different, so you had decided not to go, no matter how much Chenle tried to convince you.

“You should come with Jisung and me! You never socialise! The rest of my friend group will be there too, they’re really awesome!”

“No, I’m okay” You rolled your eyes slightly, tough Chenle knew you were only doing it jokingly

“So boring” He complained, pouting slightly

“Yeah, yeah,” You waved him off just as the first bell sounded “Time for you to go to class”

The boy scrunched his nose before sticking his tongue out at you and walking the opposite direction. You quickly headed to your next class, your least favourite one. You didn’t particularly dislike the subject, there was another problem; Na Jaemin was in the class. Now, you didn’t have a crush on him- you actually didn’t want anything to do with him, so why should it matter? What mattered was the fact that wherever that boy went, chaos followed his every step. He was one of the most popular boys in school, meaning that he had a group of fangirls and fanboys in every single class, and they always managed to disrupt the lesson no matter how the teacher threatened them.

You sighed, slowly opening the door to your classroom, only to be met with, as expected, Jaemin surrounded by his little group of fans. You weren’t the only one in the class who hated Jaemin’s fan club, the only difference with you was that Jaemin sat right next to you, meaning that your desk was never free.

“Could you guys break it up?!” You said, trying to push some people away from your desk “I’m trying to sit down”

“Screw off Y/N” One of your classmates said, pushing you to the side

You were about to roll your eyes and go find another seat to sit at temporarily, but before you could, someone accidentally knocked you onto the ground. You didn’t see who, but it was one of Jaemin’s little fans.

“Woah, Y/N! Are you alright?!” Jaemin pushed through the crowd that he himself gathered, bending down and offering you a hand, flashing a charming smile at you that had everyone in the crowd swooning “Sorry about that”

“It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault” You replied casually, getting up yourself, completely disregarding Jaemin’s unspoken offer to help you up

Jaemin had moved, so his fan club did as well, luckily leaving your desk free. You briskly walked around Jaemin and sat down, not noticing how he watched you the entire way there, nor noticing the obvious red covering his cheeks.

A few minutes later and the teacher walked in, looking like she’d already given up hope in getting the class back in order.

“Everyone!” She yelled, ‘everyone’ being Jaemin’s fan-club and Jaemin’s fan-club only “Back in your seats! Now!”

The chatter around Jaemin came to a stop and the people surrounding him immediately shot the teacher dirty looks, almost in sync with each other. The teacher, however, sent them glares right back, making them disgruntledly return to their assigned seats, much to the relief of all the other students. You looked to Jaemin who was sat in his seat next to you, intending to shoot him a glare, only to quirk a brow when you saw him staring at you right back. Red spread across his cheeks and he looked to the front, straightening his back. You scrunched your nose confusedly before mirroring him and turning to the front as well, getting your pencil ready to take notes.

The class passed without incident, surprisingly. Though, just like normal, the second the bell rung, Jaemin’s fans regather around him, catching you in the crowd as well. You pushed your way through everyone, shoving and pushing only to get shoved and pushed right back. There was only half a class there- how in the hell did they manage to cause you so much trouble?

“Jaemin! Who are you asking to prom?” You heard a feminine voice speak as you finally got out of the crowd and began heading to the door

“Yeah!” A male voice chimed

“Uh- I have someone in mind but-” Jaemin hesitated, looking past the crowd to see if you were within hearing range

“WHO IS IT?!” They all yelled, making Jaemin wince slightly

You rolled your eyes at how desperate they all were before finally exiting the classroom, allowing yourself to breathe. Now that you really thought about it, sometimes Jaemin didn’t seem to like his little club, which you actually found quite cute. Other times, though, he seemed to love it, flirting with everyone who talked to him- those were the times that made you resent him.

You reached your next class just as the bell rang, glad to finally have some peace and quiet. This class, not-so-surprisingly, started without any delay, immediately going into the lesson and having almost no unwelcome disruptions throughout the entire hour. Eventually, the lunch bell rang, and you quickly packed up your things along with the rest of the class, heading for the door, saying a quick ‘thank you’ to your teacher on your way out.

“Y/N!” A slightly unfamiliar yet unfairly smooth voice came from behind you

You turned around curiously, turning back around again straight away when you saw a disheveled Jaemin running up to you.

“Go back to your fan-club Jaemin,” You said, uninterested when he caught up to you

“Please talk to me!” He begged, cheeks flushed “I only have a little bit before they find me again!”

You hesitated slightly, your own cheeks, unfortunately, becoming red at how cute he looked and sounded.

“Fine” You turned to him

“Come with me to prom?” he smiled charmingly, seeming to regain his composure far too quickly for someone who was begging not even two seconds ago

“No.”

Jaemin was absolutely stunned into silence at your blunt refusal. Had he ever been rejected before? He didn’t think so, and he wasn’t about to start now.

“Why not?!” He asked once he finally processed your words

“One, because I don’t want to go to prom, two, because I don’t want your fan-club to bully me” You dead-panned, looking at the boy, hoping he didn’t look past your expression and voice so he didn’t catch the red on your cheeks

“They won’t!” He promised “Please Y/N!”

“Why do you want to take me anyway? A prank?” You glanced away dubiously

“No! It’s not like that, I-” Jaemin started to speak but was cut off when, yet again, a large crowd of people surrounded him, pushing you out of the way

You almost felt bad for him, but you knew that you wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about the crowd unless you wanted to be yelled at; sometimes Jaemin’s fans even got physical, it wasn’t fun, you had tried it before.

“Hi Y/N” Jisung came up and from behind you and began to walk by your side “What was that about?”

“Jaemin asked me to prom” You said, unfortunately saying it just in time for Chenle to come up behind you and hear it

“Jaemin did WHAT” Chenle yelled, grabbing your shoulders “What did you say?! Don’t tell me you said no! Hell, I’m pretty sure I’m straight but if Jaemin asked me to prom, like hell I’d say no!”

“Yeah, well that’s your own problem, go join his fan club” You pointed in the direction you had just come from

“You miss out on so much” Chenle shook his head, finally letting go of you

“Besides, he could’ve been asking me out on a prank or dare” You pointed out

“Nah” Jisung interjected “Jaemin isn’t like that, Mark is friends with him”

“Mark? Isn’t that one of your friends?” You cocked your head

“Surprise Y/N! You can have more than just a couple of friends” Chenle said over-enthusiastically but with obvious sarcasm

You sighed, scrunching your nose up once again. Jaemin was cute, you had to admit, and he seemed nice when he wasn’t being an absolute play-boy. You’d noticed that the boy tended to get more nervous when talking around you, about you or with you. He couldn’t possibly have a crush on you though, right? No, that was just unrealistic, but now that Jaemin himself had asked you to prom, the idea was implanted in your mind, and you weren’t sure it would be easy to get out.

“Whatever,” You said back to Chenle “I don’t want to go to prom”

“Such a buzz-kill,” he said, pouting slightly

----

You sighed as you walked through the school hallways. Now that prom was nearing, planning, dates, and confessions were in full swing; you’d seen at least four pairs making out, and you’d only been at school for a couple of minutes.

You scrunched up your nose just as you passed a couple using a far-too-much amount of tongue in their hallway make-out session. Just as you were about to reach your locker, you saw Jaemin standing near right in front of it, a short girl standing in front of him, looking completely red-faced. You frowned, irritated at the fact that the boy had just so happened to choose this place to be at this exact moment.

“U-uh” The girl stuttered

Jaemin waited patiently, a sweet smile adorning his face. He looked like he knew exactly what she was about to ask, and he looked quite tired of it, too. You guessed that he’d gotten at least seventy people asking him out in the last week.

“Would you come to prom with me?!” She finally asked

“Ah, I’m sorry” Jaemin smiled apologetically this time “I already have someone in mind”

“O-oh, okay!” She managed to give a short smile in return before running off, hair covering her face

Jaemin sighed, leaning against your locker as soon as the girl was out of sight. He looked tired, really tired. His normally tanned skin was pale, and the bags under his eyes were rather prominent.

“Jaemin” You walked up to him, finally deciding that now was an appropriate time to move

“Y/N!” His face immediately brightened when he saw you, and the colour in his face was almost brought back fully, along with a little bit of extra red painting his cheeks. If you said it didn’t fluster you, you’d be lying

“I need to get to my locker”

“I wanted to ask you though-”

“I don’t want to go to prom with you”

“Please Y/N! I’m serious!” He begged, looking like he was seconds away from dropping to his knees to plead “There are like at least twenty people asking me out a day! Please, I need someone that I can say I’m already taking”

You paused, looking into his earnest eyes before processing his words. Suddenly, your face contorted into one of anger, and slight hurt.

“Is that all I am to you?” You asked aggressively, stepping towards him “An excuse?”

Jaemin opened his mouth but no sounds came out. He seemed to only realise what he just said.

“No! Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that! I know you’re a logical person so I wanted an excuse to take you and that’s just what came to mind first! Please don’t- I didn’t-”

“Why don’t you just go ask someone else?” You took another step towards the flustered boy, making him step back

“I-I don’t want anyone else!” He stuttered

By now, the rather intense scene had caught some people’s attention, especially since Jaemin was at the scene, and a small crowd had gathered around the pair of you, but you hardly took notice.

“Like hell you don’t” Your voice was shaky, and when Jaemin noticed, he immediately softened his expression

“Y/N…I’m serious…I like you. A lot. I- Please believe me” He grabbed your hands with his large, warm ones “I don’t think you like me back from how you respond to me but you’re just so-…so amazing and talented and I know you can be really sweet when you want to be! I’ve seen you talking to Jisung and Chenle!”

You took a shaky breath in, trying to steady yourself. Just as you were about to talk, the first bell rang. You expected movement at it, but there was none, the crowd stayed in place, which is why you noticed them. You hadn’t even seen them before, but now that you knew they were there, you suddenly lost your composure.

“I-I-” You looked to Jaemin “I don’t…I don’t not like you”

“Really?!” He asked excitedly, tightening his grip on your hands

You pursed your lips as you looked around Jaemin at the crowd. Jaemin looked like he was going to say something else, but you turned away from him, to your locker before he could.

“Later,” You said quietly “Just find me after school”

With a bright smile, Jaemin nodded before practically prancing off, looking like he was on cloud nine. After that, the crowd quickly dispersed, going to get their things before class started.

The school day seemed to drag on forever, especially with the thought of Jaemin’s sincere confession on your mind. The rumour that Jaemin was taking you had spread far too quickly for your liking, and there was muttering about it almost everywhere you went. Wasn’t there another popular kid they could gossip about? Before long, you had people coming up to you, either congratulation you or expressing their dislike for Jaemin’s decision, which was both unnecessary and unwanted.

Eventually, the last period came and went, and you headed back to your locker, trying to push past the rush of students to get out of school or make some more last-minute prom confessions. When you finally did reach your locker, a small crowd had gathered around it. You scrunched your nose and shoved past, putting away your things and packing your bag.

A new wave of muttering alerted you of Jaemin’s presence, and you turned around to see the boy sporting a nervous smile, a smile cute enough to make you blush. You shut your locker door and walked up to Jaemin, grabbing his hand and walking off, not having to make your way through the crowd, since they seemed to part to let you through anyway. None of them were bothered enough to follow you, seemed only the people who had lockers close to you were in the crowd. Jaemin was too busy looking at the way you held his hand and blushing about it to notice the antics of the crowd.

“Want to take a walk?” You asked once you’d made it out of the school

“Yes!” Jaemin answered enthusiastically, squeezing your hand, causing your blush to deepen

You two eventually made it out of the school, still holding hands, and slowing down your pace to a leisurely stroll. You began to make your way to the nearby park, and Jaemin followed.

“So is this a yes?” He asked, looking toward you like a puppy

“…It is” You answered, willing yourself to meet his eyes

The way not only his smile but his entire face brightened even more after that made your heart flutter. It seems that even though you hated the thought of it…you had fallen for Jaemin.

----

It was finally the day of prom, and the school was half empty by midday. Everyone had made excuses as to why they had to leave or just didn’t show up at all. The teachers knew, of course, but they didn’t care much, this happened every year at every school. Chenle had somehow, against all odds, convinced you to leave school early as well and get ready at his place. You’d told Jaemin and he insisted he pick you up from Chenle’s house, though, Chenle happened to overhear and instead, invited Jaemin and you to be driven to prom with him and the rest of his friend group. You agreed with some encouragement from the two.

Luckily, Chenle’s house was in walking distance, so you, Jaemin, Chenle, Jisung, Mark, Jeno, Renjun, Haechan and all their corresponding dates (some of the friends, of course, were taking each other) all met up and walked off together. Everyone had brought their outfits to school with them, with the exception of Chenle, if course.

Eventually, everyone had made it to Chenle’s house, which was far bigger than you had expected.

“Is that a limo?!” Haechan asked, wide-eyed

“Yep” Chenle answered, smiling bashfully

You and the rest of the group gaped at him, seemed like you weren’t the only one surprised that Chenle was rich.

It took a couple hours, but, finally, everyone was changed and ready. Surprisingly, Jaemin was good at makeup and helped apply everyone’s along with you and Renjun and a few of the other dates. Chenle and Jisung tried to do their own at first, but quickly gave up when they almost stabbed themselves in the eyes.

“You look…” Jaemin’s eyes widened when he saw you in your dress “incredible”

“Thanks” you smiled, looking Jaemin up and down in his suit before turning away, hoping he wouldn’t see your blush “You look good too”

Finally, everyone clambered into the limo parked outside of Chenle’s house, and began to drive to the school. Jaemin sat next to you, naturally, and held your hand tightly the entire time, occasionally and discreetly bringing it to his lips to kiss, which made you involuntarily blush every tie, especially when he smiled cheekily afterward.

It was already getting dark when you arrived and, just as you expected, once you guys had arrived at the location, it was already packed and rather loud music was playing. How did these things normally start? You expected them to have more of a crescendo (A/N: no, really, how do these things start? How do they even run?).

Some of the others went to go join the crowd, while Chenle and Jisung stayed with Jaemin and you.

“Where are your guys’ dates?” You asked, only now realising no one was with them

“Geez Y/N, so unobservant” Jisung shook his head disapprovingly, only to keel over a second after in embarrassment

“We took each other” Chenle added, rolling his eyes

“Oh”

“Yeah but like as friends” Jisung quickly said

“Yeah, but it’s not like you won’t fall in love with me by the end of the night anyway” Chenle shrugged nonchalantly, pretending to be hurt when Jisung hit him

You watched the interaction in amusement before turning back to Jaemin. Just as you were about to say something to him, the music amplified and a lot more people joined the crowd in the middle dancing. You almost winced at how much the music hurt your ears. Now you remember why you never came to these things if you got the choice.

“Let’s go dance!” Jaemin smiled, almost yelling

You looked at the crowd skeptically, letting Jaemin drag you toward it. Once you’d gotten closer, you remembered just why you hated your school. Multiple people were grinding against each other or making out. This wasn’t a club, did they have to? You saw your Chenle, Jisung and their friends through the crowd, all dancing wildly, trying to make the others laugh. Concluding that you’d prefer to dance with them than be surrounded by horny teens, you dragged Jaemin towards them. Chenle smiled when he saw you and grabbed your hand, pulling you and Jaemin towards the group.

At first, surprisingly, it was fun, but soon enough your group got tired and you guys exited the crowd. It became rather bland after that, usually, you’d be able to entertain each other and just talk, but the music was so loud you couldn’t hear anything other than it.

“I hate these things” You muttered to yourself, rather loudly, just barely being able to hear yourself

“Let’s leave then” Jaemin said, squeezing your hand

You looked at him quizzically, but, before you could ask any more questions, he led you out of the building. The air was far colder compared to inside, and muffled music blasted from the building, but it was serene in this type of scene; the moon was high, the air crisp and cold, and the trees surrounding the pair of you made it rather peaceful.

Jaemin led you further, out of the school, letting the music fade into the background, and into the park nearby. The grass field was dark in the night, and fireflies could be spotted scarcely around. Finally, Jaemin sat you down on a bench, sitting down next to you afterward.

“That was…sudden” you commented, refusing to look at Jaemin

“You looked uncomfortable” He shrugged

“Yeah, I don’t normally go to those types of things”

“I can tell” He chuckled slightly, moving closer to you, encouraged when you didn’t move away, but instead leaned into him

Jaemin slowly put his arm around you, smiling to himself when you let him. You could feel your eyes weighing down.

“Y/N,” Jaemin said softly

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes shot up at the question, and you looked to him, surprised. Jaemin cowered back at your sudden movement, looking embarrassed

“Only if you want to!” He added, smiling slightly

“I-” You hesitated “…yes”

“Really?!”

“Yeah” You returned his smile before leaning in slightly

Jaemin’s heart was beating so fast he couldn’t even feel it, and same goes for you. Eventually, he leaned in as well, shutting his eyes. Finally, your guys’ lips met in a long, soft kiss. You pulled away, blushing uncontrollably. Though, your embarrassment went down when you looked to Jaemin and saw that his blush was just as, if not more so, dark as yours.

“I really, really like you” Jaemin confessed, grabbing your hands once again

“Yeah?” You asked “Well I love you”

Jaemin’s jaw dropped when you said that and, if possible, his blush became even darker.

“I-I love you too”

You chuckled and leaned into Jaemin once again, resting your head on his shoulder. Jaemin smiled peacefully. He looked to the moon for a second, but then looked to you right after. ‘The moon,’ he thought ‘can’t even compare to your beauty’

#jaemin #na jaemin #nct #nct dream #nct jaemin #nct dream jaemin #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream scenarios #jaemin imagines #jaemin fluff #jaemin scenarios #na jaemin imagines #na jaemin fluff #na jaemin scenarios

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daffodeela · 4 years

Text

such a beautiful dress to be a blade

Summary:

Annie has a weird attraction for an old-style red dress in the store she goes with her friend as weird as her attraction to her schoolmate, Eren Yeager. Nobody would expect the beautiful dress could be a blade that could hurt anyone, including her.

Notes:

Attack on Titan by Hajime Isayama. I don’t take any material advantage by writing this story.

This fanfiction is my very first contribution to EreAnnie although I had shipped them since the very first time I watched Attack on Titan in 2017 (yes, that was soo late). I finally manage and present this for Ereannieweek2020! This should be for the second day prompt, rebirth | reincarnation, but I couldn't make it in time ><

Warning: Grammatical errors.

Available on AO3 and FFN.

Annie has never owned a dress except for the dresses that her dad bought when she was still a kid. It's not really her style and she doesn't need one. She always refuses to go to a party anyway. She likes skinny jeans and hoodies better. The idea of fashion inside her head is anything that's comfortable and easy to wear. Dresses definitely aren't on the list.

In the middle of accompanying Hitch doing shopping for the prom, a particular dress attracts her eyes. The dress fits perfectly on its mannequin. Its color is red. It looks like 1940s dresses because of the short sleeves, wrinkles on the breasts and hips, and a ban with the exact color and material with every part of the dress on the waist. It has some black buttons right in front of it. She wonders why this dress is even here—in 2018—when the other styles in the store are fulfilling the trends nowadays.

Her eyes search for any worker and when she spots one, she waves her hand. Hitch is gone to the changing room so she doesn't have to think about any commentary that probably will come from her friend's mouth.

"Can I help you?" asks the worker.

"Can I buy this dress?" asks Annie without missing a beat. She doesn't even know the price of the dress yet, but the strong urge to buy it convinces her. Her finger points to the mannequin.

"Please wait for a minute, Miss."

The worker is gone but Hitch is back. Annie feels something uncomfortable in the middle of her throat. Awkwardness surrounds her entire body thinking about the worker will be back and take the dress off of the mannequin then give it to her.

"I'm done. I'll buy this dress," Hitch says. She motions the elegant baby blue dress back and forth. She looks at it with glimmers in her eyes. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Annie takes a look at the dress and just nods. She becomes agitated when she sees the worker walk towards her. The worker smiles. She undoes the dress from the mannequin and gives it to her. "Here it is, Miss."

Annie clears her throat and nods. "Thank you."

"The changing room is over there if you want to try this on first."

"I don't need to." Because Annie is sure the dress will fit her perfectly and she won't change her mind since she had never ever wanted a dress as much as her longing right now.

The worker nods. "Please just call me if you need anything." She goes and leaves Annie with Hitch behind.

She can feel Hitch's surprised gaze on her. Suddenly she feels dizzy.

"So you decide to accept Eren's invitation to the prom? What? You had never told me this." She looks pissed and Annie just rolls her eyes.

"Buying a dress doesn't mean I agree to go to the prom with him. You know I dislike that kind of thing."

"So where would you wear this dress?" Hitch observes the dress. "And why did you pick this one anyway? You don't even want to try this on first?" She narrows her eyes. "It looks … old."

"I know."

"Annie, I could pick you something better—"

"I don't wanna."

Hitch lets out a long breath and rolls her eyes. "Whatever." She walks first then takes a glance at Annie. "Let's pay for my beautiful dress and your …,” she wrinkles her nose, “your great grandmother's old dress."

Annie wants to respond with a smart remark, but thinking that it would be a hassle, she just lets it go. She follows Hitch to the cashier and pays for the dress right after her close friend did. Luckily, she brings a pretty much amount of money although she didn't have an intention to buy anything except desserts. Her father insisted on letting her bring them all after he had heard that she would accompany Hitch to buy a dress for the prom. In case you want to buy one too, he said. Annie told him no but still brought the money to comply with what her father asked in the end.

After they are done with the transaction, they go to the cake shop to buy some desserts. Annie can’t buy as many as she intended because her money went for the dress, but she regrets nothing. Her father’s smile when he sees her bringing a dress home makes her day so much better.

…

The boys from the taekwondo club are sparing one by one in the gym. The girls will get their turn right after the boys are done with their spar. There are a lot of people to be watched, but Annie’s focus comes to Eren and every movement he does. Pathetic, Annie says mentally. He always gives her impressions that he is pathetic at this but still pays attention to him anyway. She folds her arms in front of her chest and shakes her head when once again Eren got kicked.

Since the very first day they met, back in the first grade of high school, there's something inside Eren that always attracts Annie every time they pass each other. Her eyes always follow him until he disappears from her eyesight. It's not something romantic, she knows. She doesn't have a crush on him. She's sure if she tells anyone about this, they would romanticize it like that. But it's far from that. It feels like they're familiar with something that she couldn't understand.

She realizes that he does the same, but she always pretends like she doesn’t know. Maybe, Eren is also aware that he gets her attention but acts like he knows nothing too. Sometimes he asks her to teach him how to kick asses and makes him win the spar. She assumed that he asked her because she always got the best grade for it. At the very first request, Annie was about to say no because she knew it wouldn’t be a one-time thing, but she didn’t know why she eventually agreed. Maybe because of the ununderstandable attraction she had for him, or maybe because she was feeling emphatic for his patheticness.

Annie has planned to leave the club earlier than usual because she knows Eren will approach her and ask her to teach him again. It means she has to give him the answer to the prom invitation too. She currently has no idea what to answer. She needs more time. It feels weird that she couldn't just deny him from the start because something like prom is absolutely not her thing. She really wonders why.

"Annie!" Eren calls. Annie closes her eyes and expels a long breath. Her attempt to run away failed.

She turns her body to face him. Her heart is beating so loud until she is afraid that he will hear it. She swallows her saliva and nods. Her eyes are full of questions.

"I still can't master what you teach," he complains. "It has been, what, almost four months?!"

Eren just joined the club five months ago. It was considered late because this was their senior year and it wasn't time for joining a club for the first time. She doesn't know his reason and doesn't bother to ask, it's his business anyway. But it makes him be the lamest one if compared to all of the seniors inside the club. He still has the same ban as the first grade.

"Maybe I'm not a good teacher," says Annie with an indifferent tone. "You can ask other people."

Eren shakes his head. "That's not what I mean. It's just me who's pathetic. You're great, Annie. Everything you told is catchable and easy to comprehend. I understand everything but I'm just bad at executing."

Annie takes some steps towards Eren until they are only separated by one meter. She poses the fighting stance and looks straight to Eren's eyes.

"Attack me. I won't defend. I'll try my best to evaluate your mistake."

He controls his breathing before obeying what she has told. He pulls her collar and kicks her feet until she falls. Annie presses her chin to her neck to prevent her head from bumping the floor.

"It feels easy because you don't defend! It won't happen in a spar."

Annie gets up, fixes his fighting stance, and presses his shoulders. "Relax. You're too tense." She doesn't know if she is just imagining, but she can hear his fastened heartbeat. When she feels Eren's muscles are relaxing, she pulls her hand off of him. "Do it again."

He does it again and again until she tells him that he is much better. She reminds him to not be tense but push his strength as far as he can.

"Just practice more. Kick and punch a punching bag or something. You'll be better." Annie swipes her forehead that's covered with perspiration. "I'm off." Annie turns around and swiftly takes some steps away from Eren.

"Have you had your answer?" Eren asks loudly.

Annie is startled. She couldn't move at all. She closes her eyes and controls her breathing. Her throat feels dry.

"Answer for what?" she asks, pretending that she forgets. She doesn't even face him.

She hears Eren clearing his throat. "I asked you to go to the prom with me."

"Oh. That." Annie takes a long breath before turning her body. Heat is forming in her face. She tries so hard to look straight to his eyes without acting like a coy girl. "Honestly, I don't like being in the middle of the crowd. The prom will put me in a hard situation."

"So you refuse," Eren doesn't hide his disappointment in his voice at all.

"But I have a dress." Annie contemplates for a while. Her right hand touches her left shoulder, feeling awkward. "I don't think I have a chance to wear it except for the prom." The light in Eren's eyes is brightening. She tries so hard to fight her smile. "My dress is red. Take note of that for the corsage."

She turns her body and walks swiftly. Her heart drops when Eren holds her wrist. "I don't know where to pick you."

Annie wriggles her hand until he releases it. "I'll text you my address."

She almost runs and dimly hears he said "thank you" in between.

…

Annie has no idea how to put makeup on her face. Hitch was excited when she heard that Annie finally decided to go to the prom. She wanted to dress Annie up but she also will have the need to dress herself first. They both will go to the same prom at the same time. So she ended up borrowing Annie some of her makeup and gave her a short beauty class. Still, Annie doesn't know what to do and has to dig some direction from YouTube.

Her father said that she looked beautiful and she hopes he was being honest. He seems happy seeing her in a dress, with her hair laid down, and makeup that emphasizes her pretty face. His face features change after seeing Eren picking her up. He gives him a vicious look but still takes some photos of them both before they are leaving.

"Sorry, my father's not usually like that," says Annie when they are already in Eren's car. Her gaze is on the corsage that wraps her wrist and at the same flower on Eren's tuxedo. It looks beautiful. The color of the roses is ivory and it has a red bow. She wonders if he asked his adoptive sister's or mother's opinion about picking the corsage.

"So you had another guy that ever came to your house," Eren mutters with a distasteful tone.

Annie narrows her eyes. "No."

"But you said that your father was not usually like that."

"Yes. I mean towards me."

Annie feels that her blood is flowing faster when she hears Eren's pure laugh and smile. "Of course."

"How about Mikasa?" asks Annie, thinking about her rival in some things and Eren's adoptive sister. She expects that Mikasa would be upset hearing Eren take her to the prom and wonders how he finally manages.

"What's with her?"

"She doesn't like me."

Eren chuckles. "She gave me the same look as your father's but just let it go. I don't like that she goes to the prom with someone I dislike too, so we're even."

"Who? Jean?"

Eren snorts. "Who else?"

Annie camouflages her giggle with a cough.

When they arrive, Eren holds Annie's arm when she is about to open the door. "Let me open it for you," he says. Her face burns and she's sure its color is red but not because of the blush on. Her heart is beating faster when he takes her hand after opening the door and doesn't let it go.

"Is it okay?" Eren asks.

Annie just nods because she loses her voice. She is sure she doesn't have a crush on him that's why she thinks everything that she feels right now is weird. Maybe it's because of the idea of going to prom as a couple and it goes like how some romantic movies portrayed them. She still walks awkwardly and she guesses Eren can feel that. He squeezes her hand and she becomes calmer.

They take a picture in the photo booth once. Annie feels that everyone's eyes are on her. Maybe because she is known as a lone wolf but somehow goes to the prom with a guy. Eren is really understanding, he takes her to the place that's free from the crowd. He tells her to sit and he fetches two glasses of punch for them. He sits right beside her. They enjoy the silence between them. Although she doesn't like a crowded place like this, she unexpectedly feels comfortable.

Eren puts his glass on the table and turns his body to face her. "Can I ask you something?" he asks. Annie nods.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?"

Annie frowns. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Yes. But why would you ask that?"

Eren scratches his head awkwardly and averts his gaze from her. He doesn't immediately answer. He takes a long breath and massages his hand before facing her again. "You look like someone who reincarnated from the 1940s."

Annie cancels to gulp her punch. She looks at his eyes and he seems serious, but there's a hint of doubt. Her whole body is electrified by something she couldn't understand. Her breath suddenly feels heavy. She feels dizzy. She tries to act like she's okay, and assuming from Eren's response, she nails it.

"Maybe it's because of the dress."

Eren is agape and shakes his head. He is silent for a while. He still looks at her in the eyes and palms his face. He seems exasperated.

"Can I tell you something? I'm going to be honest but it might freak you out."

Hearing the same seriousness that he reflects on his eyes, Annie puts her glass on the table. She takes a deep breath. Her heart is beating faster because somehow she knows this will be crucial. "Go on."

Eren takes a deep breath and releases it over and over. When he looks much calmer, he opens his mouth. "I often had a dream about me knowing you in a whole different place and time." He paused. "We were close. You were my childhood friend. When we were exactly at our age right now, the war started and we were the victims. We were … the Eldian. You know about that, right? About 1940s history? How the world discriminated against the Eldian, tortured them first before killing them until there was no one left from them?"

"I know." Annie swallows her bitter saliva. She holds her head since it suddenly feels heavy. She feels nauseous. Her eyes look at anything but Eren because seeing him brings her a big pang in her chest. She can't breathe. "It has nothing to do with our life. It's just a dream," she tells him and convinces herself. Something inside her head contradicts what she said.

"Are you okay?" Worry fills his voice. "I freaked you out, didn't I?"

"No," she whispers. "I just … I just need some fresh air."

Eren caresses her arm. He helps her to stand up. "Let's go outside."

Annie contemplates Eren's presence beside her right now and later. In the end, she just nods and walks with him. His hand is still holding her arm tightly as if afraid she will fall if he lets go. They sit on the park bench and the dizziness that Annie felt is gone. She palms her face and shakes her head.

"What's wrong with me …," she mumbles.

Eren holds her free hand with both of his hands. "Your hand is so cold." He rubs his hand on her to produce warmth. "But you're sweating. Are you sick?"

"I'm not. This shocks me too. I don't remember ever being sick." She stares at their linked hand and releases her breath. "I feel better now."

Her words do nothing on Eren. He still rubs his hands on hers. Annie lets him and doesn't pull her hand from him.

They sit in the middle of comfortable silence. Annie enjoys the warmth that Eren gives to her. She grasps his hand, it makes him look at her. She shakes her head to tell him nothing, then he continues rubbing his hands on hers.

"You're really a hot-blooded person," she says suddenly. Some people often tell him that because of how easy he gets angry. She notifies him for another meaning.

Eren grins. "I take that as a compliment." He eyes their linked hands. "And you're really an ice queen. Not anymore, though."

Annie smiles slightly. "That's obviously not a compliment."

Eren chuckles and it makes her smile wider. He releases one of his hands and only holds her right hand with his left one. He fills the space between her fingers and takes her hand onto his thigh. He grips it tightly with his hand under.

Her eyesight automatically follows his movement. It makes her stare at his pants, then her gaze is shifting to his tuxedo. She blushes and scratches her cheeks using the back of her free hand. At the same time, something uncomfortable makes her hard to breathe and swallow her saliva.

"Is this …," she asks hesitantly, "your grandfather's tuxedo?"

She eyes his face, anticipating an offended expression. He shows none of it. He bends his neck to stare at his clothes. His tuxedo looks longer than what other students wear. The long collars cross each other. The buttons are not placed on the edge of each side, so the left side of the tuxedo covers some space of the right side.

"It looks old, doesn't it?" His voice sounds deeper.

"Yeah."

"It's mine. I bought it. I don't know why this tuxedo attracted me. My mom chose another for me but I want nothing but this suit." He shrugs. "How about you? Is this your grandma's dress?"

"No. I bought it too," she says. "Hitch didn't like it. She said it was my great grandmother's old dress when we were about to pay."

"These make both of us an oldies couple. What a coincidence." He laughs. His eyes are slanting because of his wide smile. "But it looks good on you. You're beautiful."

"Thank—"

It looks good on you. You're beautiful.

"It looks good on you. You're beautiful," said Eren when he pulled Annie closer to him.

A soldier kicked the door from the outside until it crumbled. The other soldiers broke in and directed their rifles toward everyone in the room. The music that played as the backsound of their slow dance stopped. Loud and muffled screams were everywhere, including one that came from Annie. She looked at Eren and he seemed as terrified as she was.

"Show yourself, Annie Leonhart, Eren Yeager, you disgusting Eldians. You two have been caught faking your identity. We will count until three. If the two of you don't show up until then, we'll shoot everyone in here."

The screams were getting louder and louder. The ballroom had turned into chaos. Everyone was screaming their name in anger. Eren held her hand and asked her to run. He had faced the soldier who talked even before he started counting. He let go of her hand and raised his hands in surrender.

"Don't shoot anyone. I'm Eren Yeager." His hands were trembling but his voice sounded like a brave man.

Annie stepped forward. "I'm," she gulped, "I'm Annie Leonhart."

The soldier laughed and spat on his face. Eren cringed, but he did nothing. Two other soldiers held his arms, his face showed nothing but hopelessness. When the other soldiers touched Annie inappropriately, she screamed. She wriggled and almost kicked and punched the soldiers but the pain that shot her chest stopped her. "I promise we will have a better life someday!" she heard Eren shouting. She looked up and realized he was the one who shot her using one of the soldiers' rifles. Tears were streaming down his face.

Annie covers her mouth to hold her vomit. Tears are wetting her cheeks. She feels incredible pain in her chest. She loses her breath. Eren cups her face and forces her to look straight into his eyes. He is crying and looks as surprised as she is.

"What … was … that …," he asks in the middle of his discontinuous breath.

Annie wriggles her head and steps back. "You killed me," she croaks. "You killed me."

His eyes are widened. "You …," he seems to hesitate, "you saw that too?"

She shakes her head and still covers her mouth. Her sobs are getting harder and harder. The scene that was played after Eren said that the dress looked good on her and she was beautiful showed that they were using the same clothing as what they're using now. His question tells her that the scene was playing inside his head too. She recalls Eren asked her about her belief in reincarnation and told her the story of his dream, how those brought terrible nausea on her, then suddenly everything made sense. That also explained why she had a weird attraction for him ever since they met, why she chose that dress, why he picked the tuxedo, and why she also got his attention although they rarely talked except when he asked her to teach him. It feels like tonight was destined for them to finally see their past life and for Eren to fulfill his promise. But she can't take it at all.

Without answering his question, which was already obvious from her reaction and expression, she runs away. She takes a taxi to go home. Her father is shocked when he sees that his daughter is crying after a night that is supposed to be incredible. He hugs her and doesn't force her to tell him anything. She tells him nothing but the sound of her whimpers.

"We were … the Eldian. You know about that, right? About 1940s history? How the world discriminated against the Eldian, tortured them first before killing them until there was no one left from them?" she recalls what Eren told. She doesn't understand why his words could stop her cry.

…

It has been three weeks since the prom night and she never sees Eren again. Their school is over too, so they don't have any chance to meet. It's not like she wants to meet him anyway. The pain she felt that night still resonates in every breath she takes until now. She can't imagine meeting him at all.

After that night happened, she researches 1940s world history deeper. All she knew was what was taught from school and it didn't feel enough. Seeing how bad the Marleyans treated the Eldians suffocates her. She doesn't know how Eren's mind worked in their past life until he decided to kill her exactly right there, but she feels better imagining herself didn't have to go through the horrible torture. He promised her a better life and maybe this is supposed to be their better life but she feels like she doesn't want to deal with him anymore.

For now, she restricts herself from thinking about anything that's not college-related. She dispels every thought about the reincarnation and refuses to tell that to anyone even Hitch. People will laugh at her for that anyway. She shakes her head when she realizes that she starts thinking about that again. She turns off her studying lamp, closes the curtain, lays herself in the bed, and pulls her blanket to cover her body. When she is about to close her eyes, the sound of something knocking her window prevents her. At the first knock, she just ignores it. But when it has become a repetition, she clicks her tongue and gets up to shout at anyone who disturbs her.

With anger burning within her, she opens the window. She looks downward and sees Eren almost throws a pebble to her window again. Her eyes are widened, she closes the window immediately. She hears Eren screams her name, then a muffled shout follows. She completely ignores what he does and how it could wake his father then make him miserable because her father thought Eren hurt her at the prom. She hears another knock at her window, but she covers her ears using a pillow. She closes her eyes and holds her tears.

Her vibrating phone distracts her. She opens the locked screen. Her breath is gone when she sees Eren was the one who texted her. She chooses to ignore it but she already read it from the notification bar.

Did you see me shoot myself?

Chills hit her skin and bones. She contemplates responding to Eren or not and she decides to open the window again. He is still there. His hand is instructing her to go down and meet him. She releases a long breath before complying. She doesn't care that she is still using her sleepwear.

Eren looks relieved when he sees her walking out of her house. "Thank you for—"

"I don't need your small talks," she cuts him. "Straight to the point."

He takes a deep breath. "Alright." He pauses and looks into her eyes. She tries to hold her tears. "What's your answer to what I asked you in the text?"

Annie looks at her feet. "I didn't." She feels suffocated again.

"Then let me tell you, please," he pleads.

She thinks about it for a while and nods after Eren said please once again.

"Is there any place for us to sit?"

"Chairs on the porch."

"Alright. Please lead me there."

Annie complies without saying anything. They sit on where Annie told him. The wind is cold but it isn't what makes her shiver. She refuses to look at Eren.

"Annie," he calls. "Annie, please look at me."

She shakes her head.

"But would you listen?"

She nods.

"Alright." He pauses for a while. She can hear him drumming his fingers on the table. "I saw me shooting myself after I did it to you. I guess you didn't see that because you didn't have a chance to see it too then. I didn't know the reason at the very first time I saw it at the prom, but now I know. My dreams told me. Over and over."

"Tell me," she croaks. She looks up to hold her tears.

"I thought it was better to die there so we didn't have to go through the torture. I hated seeing you being treated inappropriately there and I couldn't imagine worse than that," he says with a deep voice. He gulps his saliva. Annie eyes him. Perspirations are forming on his forehead. He seems frustrated. "I shot myself because I couldn't believe what I did to you. And I couldn't imagine living a life being tortured by my own memories of me shooting you. I didn't care about what the Marleyans would do to me."

Silence surrounds them, but it's not a comfortable one. Eren doesn't seem to have another word and Annie doesn't say anything. They are quiet for a few minutes. The quietness hurts her even more. Her tongue tastes bitter. She just wants to sleep and forgets everything. When she is about to get up and go back to her house, Eren breaks the silence by asking, "Did you hear what I said that night?"

Annie controls her breathing. She narrows her eyes. "Which one?"

"When I promised us a better life someday." He looks at her. "I think someday is right now. In this life. No one discriminates toward us. This is the better life, Annie."

"Maybe you're right," she answers. "But it doesn't mean we have to go through it together. We are nothing now." She closes her eyes tightly recalling they were lovers in their past life.

Eren seems to want to argue, but he shakes his head after Annie drops a tear. "I …."

"Forget it." Annie wipes her tears. She gets up and walks to her door. Eren holds her arm.

"Wait."

Annie stays still. When Eren doesn't say or do anything, she continues walking.

"I just want you to know that I like you since the first grade, despite the fact that we were attached in our past life or not." She holds her movement when she is about to turn the doorknob. "And I'll always be here for you every time you need me."

Ignoring her fastened heartbeat and the pain that is forming in her chest, she opens the door, walks inside, and closes it without saying anything.

...

Annie couldn't stop thinking about Eren's confession although two months have passed after that. Besides that, what he told about his dreams also comes to her dreams and she could see how close they were since they were kids and feel how much they loved each other. One time, she dreamed about them sharing a kiss in their past life then she woke up with a burning face. She could feel the way his lips moving on hers until now.

When everything about Eren really distracts her from thinking straight, she texts him and asks him to meet her. He complies. They meet in the school although they are the alumnus right now.

"Do you need anything?" Eren asks straight to the point after greeting her. He smiles softly.

Annie blushes. She puts her hand on her chest and can feel how fast her heartbeat has become. She fakes a cough. "What do you have in mind to make this a better life?" she asks coyly. She hates that she doesn't look like the girl she used to be.

Eren pulls her chin and looks into her eyes. She feels she is being observed and her face is burning even more. "Really?" he asks.

Annie is exasperated. "Yes."

He beams at her and it almost makes her smile. He takes her hand and fills the space between her fingers.

"A date would be nice."

Annie loses her control to hold her smile. She clutches his hand. "Alright."

#ereannieweek2020 #ereannie #ereani #annie leonhart #eren yeager #aot #snk #fanfiction #my fic

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