#not even a month ago!?

[yumethefrostypanda]

AAaaa

Can the next two new followers please hold XD I'M NOT READYYYno please not hold

#you guys Q_Q #shii #don't have time to edit nor a shot #for 800 freakin' followers! #AAA #i appreciate you all #again i just welcomed 700 of you #not even a month ago!? #thank youss 🥰 #your support means alot to me #i'm busybusy with rl as it should XD #but also lost a bit motivation #since some edits of mine #going around #with my watermork cropped out #and ofc no credits #ait #take care #yume out #might delete 🐢

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[uselessnbee]

you know i think it would be absolutely hilarious if after some time Percy would get so fed up by Mr. D never calling him by his actual name so Percy would just decide to do the exact same thing to him and start calling him anything but Mr. D/Dionysus

like mr. D would be like "Hey Peter Johnson" and Percy would turn around and with a straight face be like " yes, Dave?" and everyone else is just watching horrified like wtf Percy? do you want to be turned into a cockroach????

or Percy would be talking with someone and be like " Derek told me-"

" who..?"

"you know our camp director? god of wine and all that?"

"......you mean mr. D./Dionysus "

"yeah Dylan...so anyways he told me-"

and then it would become this thing between Percy and Mr. D where they would always try to come up with the most stupid and outrageous wrong names to annoy each other as much as they possibly can

everyone is horrified at Percy and just waiting for Dionysus to smite him but Percy and Mr. D are secretely having a fucking blast

#i meant to post this months ago but i forgot 👍🏻 #anyways if you saw someone else already talk about this idea no i'm not copying because i didn't see anyone talk about it #if you did please be my friend cause we both have a galaxy brain <3 #percy jackson #mr. d #pjo dionysus #pjo #hoo #percy jackson and the olympians #i'm enjoying the fandom for the last time before the show comes out #and the fandom becomes even more frustrating and toxic than it already is

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#selfie bee #good evening friends!! how are you doing! C: #I'm very very sleepy I got a new ikea office chair and I build it all myself #I think it went okay! I don't think I pulled the back screw tight enough and now the back is a bit loose #I can probably fix it but I can also ignore it for the next 18 years #thats how long the old chair held up!! in germany it could now drink vodka and drive a car!! #not at the same time that is illegal! not at the same time!! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ* #but the day is not over yet my uncle asked me for a big art quest and I do not want to disappoint #he wants a muppet tattoo and asked me to draw it #my uncle has started to get tattoos a few months ago #as far as I know he has now gotten 3 note clefs 3 stars a flower and multiple birds #he also started getting piercings but so far I managed not to know exactly where #I think tattoos are super cool (´｡･v･｡｀) I wish I had a good idea for a tattoo but the last time I was very sure about getting a tattoo #it was heath ledgers face as the joker #at that point I was 12 and would not see the actual movie for two more years #a muppet tattoo is a way better idea!! he asked for the count van count! that is also one of my top 3 muppets ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡ #I always thought I knew a lot about muppet lore but since I started looking up muppet pictures I think there are still a lot of secrets #can the muppets from the Sesame Street actually leave the Sesame Street? #I think Kermit is both on the Muppet Show and on Sesame Street but he is also like the boss muppet #he might have special abilities #I hope you're having a good day friends!! C: #I think I'll post a Sherlock comic later this week #miss you!! ♥♥♥

[nebuladreamz]

IT'S FINALLY FUCKING OUT AND I CAN FINALLY POST THIS!!!! (Go watch it NOW)

Thank you so much to @ohno-the-sun for hosting the map, this was the most fun first experience I've had with being a part of one :D

#nebula animates #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #fnaf daycare attendant #dca map #daycare attendant #fnaf sundrop #fnaf moondrop #fun fact this. wasn't shaded until literally a couple weeks ago #sun wasn't even properly colored he just started out with a base color until i started shading #honestly with the time i spent on this (literally. less than a month) besides the shading job i did #im so fucking proud of this man #like. sure i could've been more dynamic with movements #but with what i have? i couldnt be more happier #PLUS!! in the time i finished it versus now #i've learned stuff because of it :D #i've gotten better at figuring out animating and messing with toon boom nodes #and i couldnt be happier with the progress ive made

[milimeters-morales]

PROWLER MILES USED TO SMILE EXACTLY LIKE THIS. THIS WAS HIM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE IM LOSING IT

#HE WAS LITERALLY JUST A BABY AND HE STILL IS TO ME. #HOW LONG AGO DID HIS DAD EVEN DIE???? I ASSUME A YEAR OR MORE??? BECAUSE LIKE. AARON DIED A YEAR AND FOUR MONTHS AGO SO #BUT AARON LOOKS WAY OLDER HERE SO #MAYBE ITS BEEN LONGER. HOW LONG HAS MILES G BEEN THE PROWLER PLEAZDEE I NEED TO KNOW #miles morales #spiderman #spider man #prowler miles #atsv spoilers #across the spider verse #across the spiderverse #atsv #spiderman atsv #m&m posts

[hiding-under-the-willow]

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you: this guy

#atlas.art #artists on tumblr #mcyt #hermitcraft #hypnotizd #I'm gonna be so real with y'all right now. I don't even watch hypno #i'm just obsessed with this cunty little pose he's pulling in the new banner askjfshdhb #and i designed him a few months ago when I was drawing all those headshots of the hermits. so. y'know. might as well use it lol

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

A Catfish??

All of the bat children are horrified when they found out the boy Damian has been talking online, someone they were expecting to be a 5’3 twig. Someone who Damian has been crushing on for years turned out to be a 6’3 muscle-bound fucker that makes Jason look small.

They are even more horrified when they realized they never gave Damian the internet talk and for some reason Bruce is not reacting like this is something of concern and what the fuck-?!

The reason Bruce is not freaking out like the rest of his kids is quite simple.

He can see the last of the baby fat clinging to Danny’s face, he notices how even though Danny is a walking tank of a being, he still glances at the doorways like they could not be trusted.

Like he wasn’t used to his height.

No Bruce is not concerned, because all signs and research just points to one fact.

Danny Fenton has came into a Fenton-sized growth spurt.

#now Bruce could clear up the confusion #but the kids did take the Batmobile out on a joyride a week ago #so this can just be a test on their reasoning under familial circumstances #like Bruce did not go out of his way to vet his youngest son’s first crush #dp x dc #writing prompt #danny fenton #danny phantom #dc x dp #jason todd #batman #shipping #dick grayson #tim drake #duke thomas #Cass knows of course #she’s not going to tell #same with babs #Danny a couple months before his visit: Doors suddenly hate me Dami :n; #Damian short king Wayne who likes to be picked up even if he never admits to it #damian: tragic. #the kids saw one photo of Dan and Danny and connected some dots that were never there #dead serious #writting prompt

[darkwood-sleddog]

My guys. the fact that so many of you are reblogging my post about Justice Thomas's desire to overturn Lawrence with exclamations of "how???" and with such lack of knowledge of our past is really disconcerting.

Gay sex was illegal federally in the United States until 2003 (when Lawrence was ruled on). Before Lawrence many MANY states had "Sodomy Laws" that prohibited gay sex within the state itself and criminalized homosexuality, often using targeting words like "pervert" to describe gay men much the way conservatives talk of "grooming" today. In fact prior to 1962 homosexual sex, as well as certain types of consensual sex acts between differently gendered couples, was a felony with the cost being lengthy jail time and/or hard labor. As of April 2022 14 states have STILL not repealed their sodomy laws. Keep that in mind.

In this last week of Pride month i am BEGGING you. LEARN SOME LGBTQ+ History. The history of your rights, your lack of rights, how recent it all is, how unstable your rights are RIGHT NOW. So many of what should now be our elders were killed during the AIDS Crisis. It is now up to you to learn these things yourself.

Wikipedia Article on LGBT History in the United States

LGBTQ Rights Timeline in America

#not dogs #lgbtq+ #pride month #lawrence #roe v wade #queer history #lgbt history #seriously people you NEED to learn our past #14 states still have sodomy laws and justice thomas's desire to overturn lawrence should CONCERN YOU #i realize some of your are full ass adults that were born after lawrence but even 1962 is NOT LONG AGO AT ALL

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

me, hearing that we are getting two new seasons of PnF almost a year late:

#phineas and ferb #candace flynn #perry the platypus #pnf #across the second dimension #atsd #2nd dimension candace flynn #and as soon as i realized its true i wanted to draw my favorite high strung girlie #its been so long since i drew her QoQ cant believe i even wrote so many ficlets about her #ye in this house we love our mars queen candace flynn! deal with it #man i started this fanart almost a month ago lol #also. its been over a decade and i just realized that 2nd d Candace is wearing tigh-high boots. ?????/

[peachy-miilk]

soulbound <3

#rancher duo #team rancher #double life smp #dlsmp #double life #solidarity gaming #solidarity gaming fanart #tangotek #tango tek #tango tek fanart #jimmy solidarity #mcyt #mcytblr #twitter saw it first #like several weeks ago #maybe even a month #soulmates in every universe #they make me so happy

[favoure]

heyyy <3

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft #mcyt #favourarts #mcyt fanart #hermitcraft s7 #ok to tag as ship #DREW THIS IN AN AGGIE A MONTH AGO . N LEFT IT UNFINISHED #SUDDENLY GOT POSSESSED N WORKED ON IT TODAY N YESTERDAY #NOW ITS DONE !!!!!!!! #im still very much insane over them btw #just found it hard 2 draw for like a few months <//3 #maybe bc it was the last few months of high school n i was GRADUATING #n got busy w ENROLLING #oh but like yk its not a big deal /s JHSKFJSFDSJDF #anyways hope u enjoy ^_^ hope that my love for these two is still apparent in this drawing even tho its been 3 months ^_^

[ninjasmudge]

cult of the lamb has some really cool visuals and the accent color is my fave so i really wanted to do some post-game designs and doodles to get out of an art slump

#i havent even played this ive just watched a few playthoughs and i think all the concepts and visuals are neat #cult of the lamb #cotl #my art #cult of the lamb narinder #narinder #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cult of the lamb lamb #im just playing with these designs and looking through canon stuff #i love working with just 3 colors i was doing that for a series of oc pieces a month or so ago #i hope the lamb gets more eldrich as time goes on #i have many thoughts abt some of the lore of this game jts very cool

[mummer]

i knew you once (+details)

#my art #asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #theon greyjoy #jon snow #jeyne poole #i think this is going to happen and it is going to be charged and awesome. and hes not gonna be able to go through with it #and it's gonna be the coolest thing to ever happen to me #i dont even know if this makes sense proportion/perspective wise oh well doesnt matter GOOD NIGHT AMERICA!!!! #late addition jeyne bc she would probably be there woohoo jeyneeee save me jeyne!!!!! #i actually started this months ago x___x

[shripscapi]

In this light she could almost be a beauty, he thought. In this light she could almost be a knight.

#brienne of tarth #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #probably everyone has drawn this scene by now but that won’t stop me from throwing my hat in the ring #and this is technically the second time i’ve drawn it #the first time was a few months ago but I was never fully satisfied. I’m glad I tried again #even if it’s still not perfect ! #my art

[hella1975]

noah kahan really said growing up in a small, bitter hometown is about the rage and the hatred that's been sung about many times before but it's also about love and devotion and the 'all three of us were drowning and we didn't know how to save each other but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together' of it all and knowing people so intimately yet not being able to help anyone and he's morally grey at best in a lot of his songs and objectively the bad guy in others and that's just how it is and it's about substance abuse and normalised crime and teen suicide and country roads and failed exams and leaving and being left and love and hate and love and hate and love and

#anyway. listening to orange juice again. like it's my fault #girls when growing sideways and view between villages and northern attitude and homesick and stick season come on #like new england must actually be called that for a reason bc you cant convince me this guy isnt actually secretly singing about england #like even when he sings about the WEATHER im like !!! this guy gets it fr!!! #IM TIRED OF DIRT ROADS NAMED AFTER HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND'S GRANDFATHERS AND MOTHERFUCKERS HERE DONT KNOW #THEY CAUGHT THE BOSTON BOMBERS TIME MOVES SO DAMN SLOW I SWEAR I FEEL MY ORGANS FAILING I STOPPED CARING ABOUT A MONTH AGO #SINCE IT'S BEEN SMOOTH SAILING I WOULD LEAVE IF ONLY I COULD FIND A REASON IM MEAN BECAUSE I GREW UP IN NEW ENGLAND!!! #or the entirety of growing sideways. divvied up my anger into 30 seperate parts keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart #r u even listening. what the hell #HONEY COME OVEERRRRRR THE PARTY'S GONE SLOWERRR AND NO ONE WILL TEMPT YOU WE KNOW YOUVE GONE SOBER <- sobbing #noah kahan #stick season