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daisynik7 · 7 months

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hello it's me again not sure if it's alright to request one more (literally just ignore this if not) and its also not y2k but i'd like to request work song by hozier for nanami especially "no grave can hold my body down, i'd crawl home to her" angst with a happy ending during/post shibuya (no dying please) and reader is also a healer like shoko

thank you so much and congrats again 🫶🏼

Work Song

No grave can hold my body down, I’ll crawl home to her

Pairing: Nanami x f!reader

Word Count: ~1.6k

cw: mentions of d*ath, bl*od, burn injuries, canon-divergent, set in the canon-universe during the Shibuya Incident Arc, MAJOR spoilers up to Shibuya Arc, angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, happy ending

Summary: You’re a healer working with Shoko inside the medical tent at Shibuya Station while Nanami, your boyfriend, is in the line of fire for the battle ahead. After an especially life-threatening attack, Nanami, on the brink, runs into an old friend, who helps guide him back home.

Author’s Note: @75songs thank you so much for sending in another request for the y2k karaoke party, always appreciate your love and support! I ADORE this song and have honestly always thought it was perfect for Nanami. I am an anime only and am not caught up with season 2 yet, so I didn’t want to read too much into what exactly happens during this arc, so some of the details may be inaccurate, just a heads up. This one got me in my feelings. I will forever hold a grudge against Gege for what they did to Nanami. Anyways, likes, reblogs, and/or comments are always appreciated! Thanks so much for reading! Divider by @/saradika.

October 31st. Maybe in another timeline, another reality, you and Nanami would be celebrating Halloween tonight, passing colorful candies and decadent chocolates to kids going door-to-door across the neighborhood. You’d force him to dress up in a silly costume, one that matches yours, despite his reluctance at first. Deep down, you know he likes this; domestic bliss, especially with you. The idea that the two of you could live a peaceful life together, away from the dangerous world of curses and Jujutsu sorcery. You discuss it constantly, dream about it, strive for it. A few more years, he says, and he’ll retire. There’s still more work to be done, people to be saved.

You’re inside the medical tent beside Shoko, helping her set up the cots, anticipating injured sorcerers to arrive soon with the battle underway. Masamichi Yaga, Jujutsu High’s principal, stands guard outside, determined to keep the medical team, especially Shoko, safe from any posing threats. There’s no way to know what’s happening until people start arriving, in need of medical attention. You’re a healer too, but not nearly as skilled as Shoko, your mentor. Still, she encourages you to join them tonight, needing all the help they can get.

“Are you feeling okay?” she asks, setting up the last bed. Observant as ever, she notices your quiet demeanor.

You nod, giving her a weak, unconvincing smile. “Yeah.”

“Nanami is going to be fine,” she assures you, sensing the root of your anxiety. “When this is all done, the two of you should take a vacation together.”

Relaxing a bit, you reply, “We already have our trip to Malaysia planned in a few months.”

She smiles kindly. “There you go. Something to look forward to.”

Her words ease some of the tension, but there’s dread settling in the pit of your stomach, and it won’t go away until you see Nanami again in one piece.

The waiting game finally ends as soon as the first wounded sorcerer shows up in the tent, initiating nonstop chaos. You assist Shoko diligently, making sure everything is prepared for her to perform her Reverse Cursed Technique for those who need it, and patching up those who don’t, with less severe injuries. You’re constantly on the lookout to see a familiar face, trying to get an update on what’s happening out there. None comes, until you see Kiyotaka Ijichi limping towards the entrance, blood spread across his shirt. You and Shoko rush towards him, carrying him over your shoulders, leading him to an empty cot, gently laying him down.

Shoko, showing panic on her face for the first time all night, inspects him carefully. “Ijichi, can you hear me?” She’s always had a soft spot for him, often telling you how endearing she finds him, always a nervous wreck in front of her. Seeing him like this is surely jarring, even for her, who’s as tough as nails.

He nods weakly, mumbling something incoherent, blood sputtering from his mouth. You remove the shattered glasses from his eyes, wiping his lips with gauze. Shoko starts to work on him, directing you to check on the other patients. Before you can follow orders, you feel his weak grip on your wrist. You turn to face him, focused on his lips as he quietly utters, “Nanami.”

Your ears perk up at the mention of your boyfriend’s name, leaning in closer to hear the rest of what he has to say, taking his time through labored breaths. “He…saved…me…”

You do your best to keep your composure, nodding at him silently, blinking away the tears welling in your eyes. Unsure how to respond, you leave them, going to the other side of the tent to check on the remaining sorcerers.

With everyone else in stable condition, you take a minute outside the tent to sob into your hands, praying that Nanami is still alive. Unaware of your surroundings, you’re startled when Yaga approaches, his large figure sitting beside you. “You alright?”

You wipe away your sniffles on your sleeve. “Just…nervous.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, sighing. “Yeah, I get it. But Nanami is one of our strongest sorcerers. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Again, more words of comfort, but not enough to ease the nervous flutter in your belly. Yaga recognizes this and adds, “Nanami would fight through the fires of hell instead of letting himself die. Not because he wants to live for himself. But because he wants to live for you.”

You face him now, processing his statement. He chuckles, lifting his sunglasses to meet your gaze. “That man has never been so smitten in his life. He’d crawl out his grave just to be with you, I guarantee it.”

~~~

The last thing Nanami remembers is desperately wishing he was in Malaysia with you instead of at Shibuya Station right now. He wakes up, sitting in one of the seats on the platform. It’s eerily quiet with no one in sight. The distinct sounds of trains on the rails or the hustle and bustle of people moving along is strangely absent, and it occurs to Nanami that this may be a dream.

He's sure of it when he feels a nudge to his side, turning to face Yu Haibara sitting next to him. There’s a warm smile on his boyish face, dressed in his Jujutsu High uniform, exactly as he was many years ago when Nanami last saw him, alive and well. The same bright, earnest eyes he remembers vividly of his best friend. He swallows hard, an uneasy feeling surrounding him. Is he seeing a ghost? Or is this the afterlife?

Haibara laughs, and Nanami is snapped out of his reverie and taken immediately back to 2006, when he first met his friend during orientation. He can’t help but grin, happy to see him still so lively. “Well, aren’t you going to greet your old friend, Nanami?”

Nanami does, hugging him, astonished to feel him in his arms almost like a real person. Almost. “What are you doing here?”

“Just came to visit you, that’s all.”

Nanami lets him go, studying him carefully, looking for any signs of decay. When he spots none, he asks him, “Am I dead?”

Haibara shakes his head. “Not quite. But you’re pretty damn close.”

“I am?”

“Yeah. So you better hurry and get home quick.” Haibara points towards the railings, now illuminated at one end by a blinding flash of light. “Yuji’s waiting for you.”

“Itadori? How do you know – “

Haibara then says your name with a big smile. “Yeah, I know her too. They’re all waiting for you, Nanami. You don’t want to keep them waiting any longer, do you?”

It takes a while for Nanami to get up, and when he does, he’s off balance, legs wobbly, body unsteady. Haibara helps him, offering his shoulder, the two of them walking slowly towards the light. “I really like her, you know. Your girlfriend.”

“You do?” Nanami asks, hobbling beside him.

“Yeah. She’s really nice, really pretty, and she eats a lot, especially with you,” he chuckles. “You know how much I like that.”

“Yeah I do.”

“And I’m a good judge of character, so I think she’s perfect for you. If that means anything,” he says, proudly.

“It does. It means a lot.” They’re near the edge of the platform now and Nanami will have to hop down to reach the end of the tunnel.

“Are you going to marry her soon?” Haibara asks, pausing just before the edge.

Nanami nods, grinning. “I’m planning to propose during our vacation in Malaysia.”

“Good. Good.”

He’s tempted to stay longer, wanting a few more moments with his friend, but he knows that time is ticking. He hugs him again, squeezing him tight. “Take care, Haibara.”

“You too, Nanami. I’ll be looking out for you.”

His chest constricts, jumping off the platform, landing roughly on the railings, blinking away the tears in his eyes. It’s sweltering now, the light emitting an intense heat from within. He gives Haibara one last glance, cherishing the happy expression on his face as he waves goodbye to him before walking into the light.

Seconds later, Nanami wakes up with a gasp of breath, vision blurred, a droning pounding beating against his ear drums. It soon fades and only Yuji’s panicked voice yelling from behind him is heard. He’s being dragged by the armpits, away from the battle. Smoke radiates from his entire form, and he can barely move. In fact, he can barely feel anything at all.

They reach the medical tent, Itadori yelling for help the whole way. Yaga is the first to reach them, his usual calm demeanor wavering at the sight of Nanami, body half-burned from the explosion. They carrying him delicately inside, resting him on the only empty cot left. He wants to close his eyes; he’s so exhausted, and sleep is the only thing to bring him peace right now. That, or you.

As if his prayers were heard, you appear at his side, truly a vision, even while you sob for him, holding his mangled hand in yours, begging for him to stay with you. He can die happy now, seeing your face, knowing that you’re here, alive, heart beating, surviving. Can he do the same? Can he survive this? All he knows is that he’s trying with every fiber he has left in his being. He won’t leave you, not like this. Not without experiencing life on the outside with you.

It’s in this moment that he vows to endure. Even if he has to crawl out of his grave to do it, he’s determined to be with you again.

~~~

November 1st. Maybe in another timeline, another reality, Nanami is gone. Not in this one, though. Instead, you sit beside him, healed and in one piece thanks to Shoko, fingers laced with his, careful not to squeeze too tightly. Yuji and Ino are at his other side, talking animatedly about how amazing Nanami was the entire fight, and all he can do is lay there, smiling. Happy to be alive. Happy to be with you.

#nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #kento nanami x reader #kento nanami x you #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami fluff #nanami kento fluff #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jjk spoilers #jujutsu kaisen spoilers #jujutsu kaisen x reader #y2k karaoke event #milestone event

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deliciousdefendorinternet · 14 days

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another thing I think it'd be nice to see in the future is more Branch and Viva Bonding given everything they have in common.

TBT obviously had that one scene where Branch tried to relate over their shared fears which devolved into a Joke about Pants which I don't think makes any sense given Trolls culture of being cool with full on public nudity.

and actually it literally only just occurred to me but were JD Bruce and Clay not actually the least bit curious what Branch was talking about?

at that point they didn't know about when their Grandma died and Branch just suddenly starts talking about being a recluse for years on end and they didn't have any questions?

instead all they cared about was the "" Awkward "" implication that he didn't wear pants in his home for years the Brothers really do seem like very incurious people tbh.

but anyway Random Rant aside it'd be nice to see more Branch and Viva Bonding in the future I sorta do like to think maybe they'd even have so much to relate over.

that Poppy might get a tad Jealous and feel left out given her different experiences.

like I can easily see Branch and Viva light heartedly bonding over some of the crazy ways they prepared for Bergen attacks and maybe just remembering what life was like in the Tree prior to the escape.

plus her maybe still feeling uncomfortable around the Bergens like Bridget and Gristle which I'm sure Branch would understand and try to help her through.

since they both spent years living in fear of their species so I imagine it didn't just go away overnight even after finding out they made peace with them.

and Branch would maybe admit he felt the same for a short while even after the peace was made.

Heck they can even Bond over being separated from their families for many years and somewhat feeling like the ode ones out in said families.

due to Viva being apart from Poppy and Peppy for so long and Branch being so young that there's a whole lifetime of experiences the Brothers shared with each other before he was even Born.

and due to being so young when they left that he doesn't have as much of an established past with them as they do with each other making it harder to Bond in present day.

yeah there's a lot these two characters could Relate over it'd be interesting to see.

#trolls #trolls branch #trolls brozone #dreamworks trolls #branch trolls #branch #trolls band together #trolls dreamworks #brozone #trolls 3 #trolls third tv show #Trolls #Trolls Branch #Trolls Viva

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thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed · 1 year

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is it possible for a Wednesday x Reader where Reader is sick and met Wednesday one day in a hospital and before Wednesday is transferring to Nevermore, Reader has a surgery with little success and Reader promised to her she would try to survive for her so reader can witness publish her novel and fast forward to parent's weekend, besides the Addams family Reader also came with them her to show her the surgery is a success? (Reader is in a wheelchair when came to Nevermore)

One in a Million

Word count: 1.6K

Summary: request above

Warnings: heart attacks

Pairing: Wednesday X Fem!Reader

I loved this request so much! Very sad to write but also very good! I hope you find it as entertaining as I did!🖤✨

———

Your life has always been a rollercoaster between good and bad health. You were born with a heart condition that has always been dangerous for your body and you always had to go through thousand of surgeries, ever since you were born. Your parents gave you away because of that when you were first born and a couple od vampires adopted you. However, turning you into a vampire wouldn’t solve the problem so they decided not to turn you. Your parents were really good friends with Morticia and Gomez so ever since they took you in, whenever you were out of the hospitals you would always be playing with Wednesday.

However recently you had been very sick. You had 3 heart attacks in a row, and half of your heart had stopped working, meaning it wasn’t pumping blood the right way. They had given you a pacemaker but that also barely worked and with the 1000th surgery they moved all of your heart valves to the working half of it, but still it wasn’t enough. Your heart beat had been too slow, too little blood flowing in your veins which is why you were always pale and always had a bag of blood attached to you. You knew your end was close. You tried reassuring your parents that you would be okay, but they weren’t having it. You couldn’t die at age 16 when you had your whole life ahead of you.

Today would be visitors day, and like every week you hoped to see Wednesday. This will probably be your last time ever talking or seeing her so you wanted to make the best of it with her. As soon as she walked in, you smiled at her “Hi Nes!” You said, breathing through your masks as she didn’t sit down like her usual, which was weird. “(Y/N), we need to talk…” she said. The smile disappearing from your face as you gulped, knowing that it wasn’t good. “I’m moving away. I’m going to Nevermore and as you know it’s not really close… I’m sorry” she said and looked down. She knew your situation was bad and she knew that this would probably be the last time you saw each other. Instead of feeling sad about it, you smiled at her. “It’s okay Nes really. We have the whole afternoon ahead of us so let’s make the best of it” you coughed slightly because of how weak you were

“I’m leaving now…” she kept looking down, knowing how she disappointed you. “Oh…” you replied, realizing that you weren’t spending your last day with her as you wished. “When’s your surgery?” She asked quietly and sat down on your bed. “In a couple weeks. I don’t know if I can resist until then though” you joked on yourself, your situation was already very critic so all you had to do was accept it and laugh on it. “So even if you do resist the Surgery still has a low rate of success and you might…” she couldn’t say it. She loved the word and the concept, but she couldn’t associate it to you. “Die? Yes” you shrugged. “But it’s the only chance I have if I want to live” you said and looked at her.

She nodded and you both were quiet for a couple seconds until she stood up. “I should probably go no. My parents are waiting for me outside of the hospital” you nodded and watched as she headed for the door. “Wednesday wait!” You called before she could leave. “I promise you I’ll survive. I’ll survive because I want to spend time with you and because I want to read that novel when you publish it.” You said smiling as even more tears formed in your eyes. “You better” she said. This time Wednesday was looking at you straight in your eyes “and just in case,” you take off your favorite necklace and gave it to her. “You’ll probably never wear it but at least you’ll have something to remember me from” you said and tried not to let your tears our as she took it from you, looking at it.

“Thank you” she said with her unusual soft tone “I’ll surely always keep it with me, even if I don’t wear it it’ll always be with me” you nodded and looked down “goodbye Nes” you told her and turned around, you didn’t want her to see you cry. “Goodbye..” she said almost whispering and then she left. As soon as she did you burst out crying. You didn’t think that your last day with your best friend would be so short and sad. Even Wednesday when she left, a single tear rolled down her cheek. She looked up to make them go away and wiped that one before leaving.

———

The day of the surgery arrived, and you were in really bad shape, even worse than the day Wednesday left. The reason why that surgery would be dangerous for you was because you had so little blood in your body and it was a heart transplant, so you needed lots of blood. The rate of success in your case was one in a million, but thanks to your parents who drank human blood, you had basically unlimited resources of blood and always brought you fresh one. At some point of the surgery they almost lost you. Your BP dropped and you had turned very pale. You saw yourself from above, this blinding white light was so warm and inviting you to get to her, but then you remembered the promise you made Wednesday. You had to keep it.

When you woke up in your bed the first thing you noticed was the heart monitor beating to a normal, steady rythm. You smiled slightly hearing it and then you saw your parents and a doctor. “I-I’m alive?” You asked, still feeling dizzy and confused. You weren’t pale anymore as blood was now flowing perfectly. “Yes you’re luckily very much alive. You gave us a big scare but you’re fine. No signs of rejection so far. If you improve, we can make you go home” the doctor said, which made you smile and finally relax.

In the mean time at school Wednesday was having a wonderful time if you could say so, the only thing was that she didn’t hear anything from you or how the surgery went. She always had your necklace and eventually ended up wearing it because she didn’t want to lose it. Her new friends had asked her about it and she only told them half of the truth, she told them a friend gifted it to her.

After having recovered and being sent home, you contacted Wednesday’s parents to know about her. They told you that parents weekend would be soon and that you could go with them to surprise Wednesday. That you did. When it was time for parents weekend you had organized with Morticia on how you’d go with them. You were currently in a wheelchair to avoid physical stress but luckily they had space in their car so they could bring you and the wheelchair.

When you arrived, Morticia pushed you on the wheelchair throughout the school and to the quad. You told her she didn’t have to as you could push yourself, but she insisted and you let her do. “Wednesday, who’s that with your parents?” Enid asked, and the braided girl was quick to turn around and recognize you. “(Y/N)…” she first whispered to herself then she started walking pretty fast towards you “(Y/N)!” She raised her tone so that you could hear her. You turned around to where that voice you loved so much came from and eventually saw your best friend running towards you. “Hi Nes” you said and waited for her to get in front of you. You didn’t expect her to, but she hugged you.

“Hey careful, the scar” you pointed out. You had a huge bandaid over the scar on your chest as it was still healing. “Sorry” she said and moved so she didn’t hurt you, but continuer hugging you tightly, you did the same. Each of her classmates looked astonished to seeing Wednesday hugging someone, they all wondered how important you were to her. When she pulled back you could see her smile slightly “you survived..” she said almost not believing. You smiled at her as she moved a strand of hair behind your ear “and look at you, you’re not even pale anymore!” She said all while you kept staring at her with a huge smile on your face “I always keep my promises Addams. Now you have to make me read your novel though. We have time, I’m not leaving” you said, hinting to something.

“What do you mean? You’re a normal girl- you can’t stay here” she said confused “that’s where you’re half wrong. I am normal now, but me and my parents agreed that when I heal completely they’ll turn me into a vampire, so that way I won’t have anymore heart problems. When I was a little kid they couldn’t do but now they can” you said and smiled at her, noticing how she was still wearing your necklace. “We talked to Weems and she agreed to let me stay here even before I’m turned, so that the other vampires here can give me tips” she smiled and hugged you again.

You two would be spending a lot of time together from now on.

#jenna ortega #wednesday #wednesday x y/n #wednesday x you #wednesday x reader #wednesday adams #wednesday adams x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday addams x y/n #wednesday addams x you #wednesday addams x reader

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vmpiires · 4 months

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❛ THE DESIRE DISEASE — 欲望

choso x f!reader ﾉ MDNI

𑂻𑂴 summary. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso finally has a feeling of want, need, and deep desire..

𑂻𑂴 tags. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ choso (still a cursed spirit), modern AU, nsfw, female anatomy, mentions of abuse, smoking, possible sexual content, mentions of murder/suicide, canon/modern lore mixes, obsession, etc.

𑂻𑂴 a/n. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ new layoutttt :) but this story MIGHT be a series. if ya like it i’ll keep going. reblog to support meeee and enjoy :D (if i decide that this should be a series, pls lmk if you wanna be tagged) (and don’t steal this plot or i’ll find you.)

𑂻𑂴 misc. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ𓂃ㅤ masterlist ,, AO3 — dark mode recommended. WC — 2.23K

humans have a complex mind. they can never make up their minds about anything. their wants and needs consistently change periodically and they go with whatever suits them. they may need food, a drink, new clothes or shoes just to be stylish for the occasion.

they also crave attention, drugs, money, and sex. this is what we would call the desire disease. a compelling disease that plunges you into the dark depths of life, pushing you to do the unimaginable but most important thing in your personal perspective at that moment. your impulses. those odd and horrible thoughts that cross your mind in the middle of the night, suddenly being acted on in broad daylight.

such disease develops in all living beings fairly quickly. they see what they want, they have fantasies of having such thing, they act, and receive. if one does not receive their desire, they will push extremities to have what they desire. there are four stages of this disease.

exposure, isolation, consumption, obsession.

one can jump immediately from stage one to stage four in the matter of months…days…hours…minutes….seconds.

giving in to your desires leads to infection. turning away from your desires means you have been cured. no one is ever cured, unfortunately.

choso never had a want for anything. as long as he was treated well, he didn’t mind the horrors of being so-called human and being accustomed to their ways of life. the boy could never hate anyone, for he feared being hated by everyone.

there was only one person that he had a deep hatred for. the one responsible for giving him such a terrible life. the one that took his mother from him, who he barely knew. no memories existed of this woman…but he loved her.

he’d make a vow to himself to kill his father when he was able to find him after he was left behind to live on his own. his father’s death was brutal…but it was hard to fight against the man that cared nothing for him and his brothers. it drove choso to insanity when he figured out that a young boy named yuji itadori was his brother…and his father tricked him into killing him. the male was lucky to realize this before yuji died.

bloody clothes, bloody shoes, and an apathetic expression. each step he took, there was an unsettling squelching noise while his father lied on the hardwood floor, dead.

but he left a message…signed in his own crimson fluid.

“i’ve made many mistakes growing into this body i was given. though, my words cannot express how grateful i am to be in a vessel like this…my words also cannot express how much hatred i feel for you. i’ve bent to your will before many times, unknowing of who you truly were…then i figured you out. you’ve ruined my life…so i took yours. you’ve made me capable of such power—that is what i am thankful for. but i will never forgive you for the hell i’ve been forced to endure because of your actions. if i should meet you again, i hope you die rougher than you had when i killed you. if i should cry, i cry for my mother. not you. i cannot form an apology or sympathy for you but i shall give you a goodbye and give you the gift of exposure. you wanted the attention, right?”

not that he ever craved the idea of murder, he seemed somewhat relaxed that day when he believed that he was free from the prison he called home once before. it would be considered odd behavior among humans and he’d be accused for the death of someone…but he knew he’d be full on guilty. he should’ve made it look like a suicide. he’s seen murders look like that in movies.

he’d travel to the bathroom, cleaning himself off and changing into some new clothes and shoes to avoid being found out. he’d remove the ponytails from his head, leaving his hair to hang down over his shoulders and reaching the trapezius of his back.

he would wipe the purple eyeshadow from eyes as he stared at the dark purple irises in the mirror, revealing how dead and tired he truly was. it was like his body could shut down at any moment.

now, choso had been wearing a black hoodie and a pair of pants. something so simple. it would last him a while until he would have to steal some clothes or wash them at a laundromat that he could just barely afford.

he sighed, planning his next move as he’d drag the corpse into the backyard and bury it deep down into the soil before walking back inside.

this was where he would remain…and he’d start a new life without the monster that concealed him from the world…from his own life.

PRESENT DAY — AUGUST 13TH

“see ya, kid.” the tattoo artist called after choso. the male silently lifted his hand before exiting the shop. he had gotten a new piercing just above his left eyebrow. the man that done this body art for him was his favorite and probably someone he could consider a friend.

choso had a few piercings now. a tongue piercing that nearly reached the tip of it, two cartilage piercings in his left ear with two regular earrings to accompany them, a side lip piercing, which was a simple silver ring and a nose piercing. he was torn between a septum and a simple diamond stud but he got the stud anyway. he didn’t wanna be too extra.

the male was influenced by what people would call “emo” style. he loves rock music and wearing rings on his fingers. even his clothing style stands out a lot. the band tees that blow lightly in the wind and large combat boots that slam against the floor each time he walked.

choso even cut his hair into a wolf cut. a style that he had been interested in for a while. his hair was fluffy and dyed black. different from his original brown hair. the male would also paint his nails black but the polish was a bit cheap so he was always painting over them.

he looked like the epitome of an emo boy.

knowing that he was a bit ashamed of existence, he would cover his blood mark with a bandage when he went out in public, which raised a lot of questions.

“ah, it’s just a scratch i got. it’s just healing.” he’d say simply.

pulling his hood over his head, he’d make his way to the liquor store, buying himself a pack of cigarettes, a few tv dinners, and a new lighter. the second he left, he’d immediately open the pack and take out a cigarette, the chain jingling from his jeans as he walked.

the male didn’t have any source of income at the moment, so finding money was crucial. even if it meant stealing it. inside, he usually felt bad but he would remind himself that he needed it more than the entitled humans that walked with their chins up and their chests out while he stood on the sidelines. silent and slumped over.

he knew stealing was morally wrong but something in his mind just told him to take what he needed and to never hesitate…but he always hesitated.

back at home, he would clean each of his piercings, playing with the one above his eyebrow and wincing a bit, followed by a couple of swears.

the house was quite peaceful now that there wasn’t anyone nagging at him or telling him that he was a waste of time. he was happy that he wasn’t being attacked all the time, having to physically fight back in order to avoid being seriously hurt.

this kind of behavior sent him into a state of emptiness rather than trauma or fear. it explains his dull expression. the bandages that covered his bloodied and bruised skin only reminded him of how bad he wanted to get away.

choso made his way to the backyard. it was a serene area with a tiny stony waterfall, which pooled into a small body of water. there was a large japanese maple tree in the middle of the yard…this was where he buried his father. but he entirely ignored that aspect.

instead of being locked away in his room, like he had been for most of his existence, he would come outside and sit near the miniature waterfall to find peace.

on his phone, scrolling through instagram is where he would find a beautiful picture of a girl taking a simple photo of her in her room. that girl was you. choso was instantly captivated by your soft smile and the shape and color of your eyes.

he was about to like the photo but he decided that he’d look on your account some more. you had an interesting style that heavily matched you. something that would stand out among others. if there was a large crowd in public, he’d probably notice you first.

bookmarking a few of your photos, he decided that he would save them for later to admire the new love of his life. there was one thing that held him back a bit…you were human. he was terrified, thinking that you wouldn’t like him.

‘you’d probably hate me..’ he thought. ‘i’m not like you.’

then again, how would you know? he looks just like everyone else. how would you be able to tell that he was a cursed spirit until he told you so or if he revealed his abilities to you? you won’t know. you’ll never know.

a faint smile appeared on his face as he would type a comment on your recent photo, simply complimenting you then quickly turning his phone off, worrying about how you’d react. the adrenaline was speeding through his veins.

his phone vibrates and he quickly drops it, now going into a panic about what the alert might’ve been. having a phone was always scary to him because it was always making noise.

slowly, he’d reach for the phone and turn it over, frowning a bit when he saw the small crack on the screen protector. that frown quickly turned into a smile when he seen the notification from you, replying to his comment and liking it. he also noticed that it was a pinned comment.

he didn’t know if he should be excited or horrified that he was noticed by you so quickly. he was tempted to text you now but again, he was scared…but he fell in love so quickly.

he spent his next few days on a burner account, watching your story and screenshotting the photos on you posted, smiling excitedly each time he would randomly check your account just to see that you posted a new picture or a video.

he swore up and down that you were simply a crush and that he’d move on fairly quickly once he loses interest. but deep down, he could never get rid of you. you were always on his mind. he wanted you. he needed you. he craved you.

this is the first stage of the desire disease—exposure.

it was an amazing coincidence when he saw you in public in the store he went to consistently for cigarettes. a blush settled across his cheeks as he noticed you with your friend buying some snacks for yourselves.

listening to your voice was like a song that he couldn’t get out of his head. it was memorable. but the second he realized that he was staring, he would blink and try to focus on what he was originally trying to do.

“you know her?” he heard yuji ask, making him jump.

“oh…no. she just looks familiar, that’s it.” he lied. the pink haired boy smirked before throwing his arm around choso. he was up to something.

“why don’t you go say something to her? i mean, that’s how you make friends,” yuji said. “maybe you’ll even get a partner out of it.”

“oh..uh, i don’t really want that. i don’t even like how it sounds.” choso mumbled. even though he was lying straight in yuji’s face about wanting a partner, he wasn’t completely lying.

“you obviously do, man. look, you fit most girls type. you’re tall, got cool hair, and you got a good personality. you can figure out the rest. and if they don’t like your style, they could definitely get used to you.”

‘i look too depressed to even be likable..’

“nope. i highly doubt it.” he replied. “i like being alone anyway. what’s the point of being with someone that’ll eventually leave you?”

“hey, good question.” yuji put his finger on his chin. “listen, it doesn’t hurt to try. unless you like window shopping.”

“do i look like the kind of guy to talk to women?”

yuji waved his hand, “you’ll get used to it. hey let’s go outside, i wanna show you something.”

this is how choso was introduced to porn. yuji would tell him how it was a way to ‘relieve himself’. the male was clearly confused and he didn’t understand the excitement of watching others perform such activities.

that same evening he spent watching in his room, just to see why yuji wanted to expose him to this footage so badly.

and that’s when he felt a tightness in his sweats.

#𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐈𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𖦹゛#jujutsu kaisen #anime #jjk #choso kamo #jujutsu kaisen choso #jjk x reader #jjk choso #choso x black!reader #choso x reader

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morganitering · 4 months

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Pink Purple and Blue

Pairing: bestfriend!Geto Suguru x fem!reader

Contains: AU!University and no sorcery, smoking, fluff, tiny bit of angst, smut, soft dom, thigh riding, choking, fingering, hand job, first time(?), satoru and shoko mentions, no beta

Word count: ~4,3k

Summary: Love. Everyone wanted that, but the pursuit of it is not without its obstacles. Relationships run their course, text messages get left on read and ignored, when the only thing you want is to be seen. Suguru Geto was your best friend and as you both supported each other in your respective heartbreaks it led the two of you experimenting on his bed.

A/N: I really needed to write something less dark than the stuff I usually do so here it is. An ode to liking your friend like that! Happy New Year everyone!

Read on ao3

“She’s such a fucking ass sometimes,” you complained and took a hit from the joint in your hands. Suguru had rolled it up earlier, but neither of you had lit it up yet. You didn’t want to get high per se, mainly just take the edge off.

It was a beautiful summer evening, the sky in various shades of orange and blue. You sat on Suguru’s bed that he hadn’t bothered to make this morning. It wasn’t like you'd care anyway.

“Hey at least open the window properly, if you’re going to smoke inside,” Suguru said and hurried towards the small opening, dragging it open more.

“You smoke inside anyway,” you rolled your eyes.

“It still smells like shit,” he sighed and patted the small stool next to him that he had quickly placed in front of the window. Unfortunately for Suguru, he did not live in an apartment with a balcony on it.

He let out a small puff of smoke between his lips leaning towards the window, so that most of it would go outside and not linger in his room. He had his hair mainly down, but he had tied a small bun on the back of his scalp from the upper layers. He looked exhausted, but you weren’t sure if it was the break up or just general school stress and depression. He looked like a university student 101 with the joint in his hand as his eyes watered like he was about to start crying at any moment.

“So what did Shoko do?” He asked and flicked the joint against the small ashtray made out of clay on his window sill. It looked all sorts of wonky, it was one of your first attempts at pottery, but Suguru had nonetheless accepted your handcrafted gift. You stared at his slender fingers and the way the veins snaked around the back of his hand. Suguru offered the joint back to you, staring outside and watching the quiet street where few children kept on playing with a football.

“I don’t know. Nothing and everything,” your shoulders slumped down. “I confessed to her at a party and now she’s been avoiding me like a plague. It’s like, if you’re not interested in me then just say it, but like don’t run away y’know?” You blabbered on fidgeting with your fingers.

“That sucks. I’m sorry,” Suguru looked at you apologetically.

“Yeah. So nothing is exactly wrong. We’ve just been skirting around this whole attraction thing,” you added. “I still want to be involved in her life even if she doesn’t like me like that,” you gulped down. The words felt heavy in your mouth. It wasn’t the first time you had acted on your feelings with women, but you had a shit luck with them and guys? Guys weren’t really all that interesting to you – at least not usually.

“Maybe she’ll come around. I’ve known Shoko for a long time ever since high school. It’s not really like her to just leave things like that, even if she is reserved. I think she’s going through something. Don’t know what though,” Suguru mused. Your fingers brushed against each other as you exchanged the joint back to him for the last time.

“I hope so.”

The silence enveloped the two of you as you kept on people watching. One of the kids had kicked the ball too far and it had landed on someone’s fence making the dog bark loudly as it pawed against the railings. You could hear a neighbor grandpa yelling his lungs out to the pet as the kids hurriedly picked up the ball, slightly shaken by the commotion.

“How are you holding up with the whole Satoru thing?” You dared to ask. You knew that this topic was quite touchy for him, but you did not want to be the only one pouring your heart out and you knew that if you did not ask, Suguru would not tell. He’s the type of person to keep everything in his heart unless someone actually shows interest in his emotional side.

Suguru groaned exasperatedly, stubbing out the remnants of the roll-up and pushing himself away from the window, the wheels of his office chair squeaking at the action.

“I want to call him constantly,” he shook his head a little bit in defeat.

You got up from the small stool with wobbly legs when the weed was finally taking effect. You threw yourself back on his bed and rolled around on the duvet. It smelled like Suguru. The sheets were clean, but you could still pick up hints of his sweat. Usually that would gross you out, but now it made your stomach turn in a way you usually did not associate with your best friend.

“This is probably too much information, but I miss the sex.” He smirked as he reminisced.

“Ugh, don’t even talk to me about sex,” you groaned as you thought about your own frustrations.

“I mean, you were the one who broke up with him. I bet if you just sent him a simple ‘you up?’ he’d come runni-” Suguru threw a throw pillow at you and it landed on your face.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t do that. It’s not fair to him.” Suguru took your joke too seriously. You muffled your giggles as you realized that you need to be there for him.

“Sorry. I was just trying to lighten up the mood.”

“It’s fine.”

You rolled to your side and hugged his pillow as you looked at the sulking man in the office chair. He was lightly swaying himself side to side.

“I downloaded a dating app and tried to hook up through there, but it felt off,” Suguru looked at the floor rather than you. “I’m okay with hooking up with people, but now that I’m used to having a connection with someone, it just doesn’t feel the same.” You recognized yourself from his words as well.

“A lot of people think that guys can do it with anyone and I suppose that it’s true to some. But it’s not for me.”

You and Suguru met at the university when you were both first year students studying education to become teachers. You had been both at the same course. He sat next to you, not really paying attention as he unpacked his stuff, taking out the laptop from his bag. You had been slightly intimidated by him.

When the professor announced the group assignment you had shyly asked him if he would like to do it with you. Suguru had smiled at you in a way that made your heart stop briefly. He didn’t look intimidating at all anymore. For the first few months you had a massive crush on him, but you stifled it when you realized that he only had eyes for Satoru, although he had said that he feels some sort of attraction to women as well.

You became one of his closest friends. It was easy to talk to him in an open manner, no matter what the subject was. You stayed over his place and vice versa, often stirring up rumors of your possible coupling, as if it was their business what you did or did not do.

Suguru grabbed a stress toy from the table and started throwing it in the air just to catch it over and over. “I love him. But I can’t stand him. I want to kiss him. And I want to smack him.” Every sentence was emphasized with the rhythm of his fidgeting. He’s so dramatic, you thought to yourself as you watched how the trinket spun around in the air before it landed on his palm.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say or how to help,” you confessed. Suguru answered with a hum. You knew that he knew that only time helps with heartbreak, but you did not want to spew out the same cliches that everyone said. Besides you had said them all before during their multiple breakups.

As much as you cared for him, you had frankly been at the end of your rope with this Satoru stuff. Neither of the guys knew how to have a stable relationship and you had to be witnessing that with Shoko and some other students that made up the friend group. You wanted to tell both of them to get their shit in order. This would be the last summer break before graduation and both of them needed to focus. You. Needed to focus.

“If you can be my wingman to find some level headed company, that would help a lot,” Suguru snickered, laughing slightly at his own joke.

You chewed your lip thoughtfully as you racked your brain. You had an idea, but it was a risky one. Maybe it was the weed or maybe you wanted to use it as an excuse. You chose your words carefully drawing them out slowly with several awkward stops in them.

“You know. We are in pretty much the same situation.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I relate to the stuff you’ve said about wanting connection.”

“Yes?”

“So.. why don’t we do it?” You asked, not daring to look at him. Your voice sounded small reflecting the way you felt inside.

Suguru stopped fidgeting on the spot and stared at you, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

“Are you serious?” He asked you with his eyebrows raised. You had a hard time interpreting what he was actually feeling, but nodded nonetheless.

“Yes. Most people already think that we fuck and we’re both pretty pent up. And you’re my best friend and I trust you. That’s a connection too albeit a different one,” you tried to defend yourself a little bit feeling your cheeks warm up with the topic.

“Oh yeah, cause best friends just casually get each other off because they trust each other,” he said sarcastically, but you saw that he was nervous as he grazed a spare strand behind his ear.

“Are you saying you want to get me off?” You tried to keep your voice husky, but you felt the giggle boiling underneath. It made you feel ridiculous speaking like that to him seriously.

Suguru went quiet and walked over to his own bed, where you had been lounging. He was subtly grinding his jaw as a nervous tick of his. He had a very simple outfit consisting of an oversized t-shirt and joggers, but somehow even that looked like high fashion on him. You admired the skin that was exposed through the droopy neckline.

You shifted on the bed making him some space when you felt the mattress dip as the tall man lay down next to you. You could already feel the warmth emanating from his body.

“I don’t want this to affect our friendship negatively,” Suguru stated as he turned to his side to see you directly.

“We don’t have to go far, we can just.. kiss?” Your voice was just a whisper as you stared into his brown eyes. Your heart was beating fast as the anticipation filled your body. You touched his cheek tenderly with your fingertips and saw his lashes flutter when he closed his eyes and leaned into your touch.

He took a deep breath in as if to ready himself. Then he moved your hand away that you had used to pet him to close enough distance for a kiss, yet he left enough space to keep it chaste.

His lips were soft as they worked against yours languidly. The kiss was awkward and felt like learning to walk again. Your noses bumped into each other as you both looked for a good place to put your limbs, almost as if asking wordlessly is this okay. You felt Suguru tremble next to you as he nipped at your lower lip and parted off of you to chuckle at the absurdity of the situation.

“I can’t believe what we’re doing.” He mumbled, but he did not attempt to get away from you.

“Do you still want to continue?” You asked cautiously.

You shared a fit of laughter with him, you swatted his arm half heartedly telling him to pull himself together, but you could have just as well given that instruction to yourself. After the childish giggling dissipated you pulled him towards you with a new passion, tangling your hands in his luscious hair. You raised your leg over his hip and pulled him towards your core. Suguru swiftly rolled on top of you, slotting himself between your legs, pressing up one thigh close to your middle.

It felt more heated as he deepened the kiss, caressing you, but not too brazenly. You parted your lips slightly to let his tongue explore yours as you trailed your hands around his back, dragging your nails against the cotton. You felt safe under his bigger frame, his weight calming you as much as setting you ablaze.

Suguru parted from you and kissed your neck eliciting a moan from you. You felt impatient, wanting to get more friction, more passion, more of everything he could offer to you.

“Please,” you panted as you pressed your clothed sex against his thigh.

“So sexually frustrated that a few kisses is all it takes?” Suguru grinned as he teased you.

“Stop it, you’re so mean,” you complained embarrassed about his remark. He didn’t have to say that type of stuff out loud, even if he was right.

“Do you actually want me to stop?”

“No,” you whispered.

“Good.” The way he looked at you was so gentle and affectionate that you wanted to scream. Your skin burnt under his hazy gaze. You had not really realized how much you had wanted this. “Since you seem to like my thigh so much, why don’t you ride it?” He asked you, cocking his head to the side as a challenge. He seemed to have regained his confidence.

Suguru spun around to lie on his back and lifted up slightly one of his legs and looked at you waiting as you shuffled around to saddle him.

“Can I take my panties off?”

“Yeah. I kinda wanna see how quickly you’ll manage to make a mess,” he added a sly smile on his face.

You lifted up your skirt dragging down the simple black underwear to expose the normally hidden part of you, swiftly throwing the panties on the floor before you saddled Suguru’s thigh. You pressed yourself slightly against the fabric of his joggers, feeling the rough texture of it against your sensitive skin and you could almost feel the way the moisture seeped into them, yet you did not move as the insecurity took over you.

“I feel embarrassed,” you admitted as you balanced yourself by pressing your palms against his stomach.

“You don’t have to. It’s just me.” He raised his hands to your hips, caressing you with his thumbs. As much as you could see the effects of lust on him, he was being careful the whole time with you.

“What if I help you?” It wasn’t really a question as he guided you to move. You whimpered as the delicious friction and small creases on the cloth pressed onto your bud. Slowly, you started moving yourself on your own and closed your eyes to focus on the pleasure since having direct eye contact with him felt still a bit weird.

Lewd moans filled the room when you started to increase your pace. Suguru watched the way you grinded onto his leg, desperation and pleasure playing on your features. His mouth was slightly ajar, almost panting with you even if he wasn’t the one who was getting off. He wanted to touch you, play with your breasts and mark your skin with so many bruises that you’d have to wear only long-sleeve polo shirts for the summer, but he did not want to interrupt you too much. Instead he tried to vaguely bring to his mind the drunken conversations about shared kinks so that he could possibly excite you more. Suguru found it amusing that he could use those conversations that had been shared as friends in his advantage

“You’re doing so well. Keep going,” he tried to say the words confidently with a lower voice, but he turned out to sound more breathy and boyish rather than what he was intended to go for. But honestly for you, this Suguru turned you on more than any type of dominant roleplay he could pull off right now. It was your Suguru, your best friend, your – ah fuck – something.

You moaned out his name as you moved your pelvis frantically.

“Suguru… Suguru.. I can’t finish like this,” you whined, opening your eyes for the first time after you had started.

“Tell me what you need,” he said.

“I want to be on your lap,” you panted out, “I want you to finger me.”

Suguru nodded and propped up a pillow against the wall pushing himself to a sitting position. He admired the wet mark on his gray pants. He spread out his legs to leave you a perfect place to sit in between.

He pressed his face into your forehead and gave you a little peck as he let his left hand wander on your chest, massaging your breasts. He quickly moved to the one place you really needed him.

He spread your folds open to swipe some of your wetness up to your clit, tapping the part protruding out of its hood gently. You jolted slightly due to the overwhelming sensation and you ended up rubbing against Suguru’s erection on accident. It felt like heaven to him so he decided to repeat the little tap again which earned him a high pitched squeak.

“Sensitive aren’t you?” You felt his hot breath next to your ear. Some of his hair pooled over your shoulders as well mixing to yours. You weren’t exactly sure if you like the direct touch or not but right now at this moment it was all you were looking for.

“Stop teasing,” you moaned.

“And where’s the fun in that?” Suguru hummed as he started rubbing circles on you, getting guided by your increasing or decreasing whimpers.

He placed a middle finger curiously against your entrance and pushed inside with almost no resistance, your wet warmth enveloping him. You sighed in relief as he quickly added his ring finger to the mix searching for your g-spot as he tried to grind your clit against his palm.

You wiggled, this time on purpose as you tried to guide him deeper. The waves of pleasure rendered you incapable of staying put. Suguru’s pants and your guttural moans mixed together as you started to near your end.

“One fun thing about being friends who discuss almost anything is that I know you on paper as well as your past lovers,” he said as he pressed his fingers against the spongy spot in you. His voice was almost inaudible as the warm breeze from his breath played against your ear. It was just the two of you even if you vaguely heard his neighbors banging the walls.

“You once told me that you like to be choked,” he mused, preparing the question with a slightly too long explanation than what you’d like, “Would you like me to do that to you?”

“Yes please.”

He wrapped his right hand around your neck and caressed your pulse point. The way you moaned rumbled against his palm. It felt intoxicating to him, to have himself buried in you as he watched the way you writhed against him. Suguru held onto your windpipe relishing in the power you freely gave away to him.

“Take your time,” he whispered. “Show me how you come.” Suguru tightened his grip on your throat. It felt like floating in the clouds as you mentally became smaller on his arm, caged underneath the pleasure he was giving you. Your ability to breathe came and went and it did not matter to you.

Suguru nuzzled against your neck as he felt you clenching around his fingers, your voice getting louder as you came. You gripped on his forearm digging your nails into his skin feeling the muscles moving as he kept on going, fucking you through your orgasm the pleasure soon turning to pain when everything became too much. He removed his grip on your throat and let you finally breathe properly.

“Stopstopstop!” You pushed his hand away. Suguru laughed and wiped your juices on your inner thigh.

“Fuck.” You breathed out and slumped against his body. You felt satiated and happy.

“Thank you.”

Suguru found the afterglow to suit you.

“Can I..?” You asked, turning around sitting on your knees with your legs folded under your butt. You rest your hand on his thigh expecting him to understand your hint. He nodded and you smiled shyly as you curled your fingers around his waistband. “Help me a bit.”

Suguru shuffled himself out of his joggers. The bed squeaked underneath his movement. You admired the wet spot on the cloth before it got discarded on the floor with his boxers. Your breath hitched softly as you stared at the way his cock curved up with the small trimmed hairs working as a decoration. You admired his thick thighs the way the muscle moved when he settled back to the bed to the same position he was in before.

The way he looked at you was a mixture of smugness and reservation, almost like he did not dare to start bragging about how he knew that he was more than the average man. You quickly took off your own shirt leaving you in your bra and skirt.

Suguru pulled you into a kiss holding onto your neck and you placed your hands on his torso caressing his chest. Your touch was heavy on him, passionate and needy as you made your way to his cock. You had no energy to tease him and frankly you did not want to. You wanted to see him come undone just as he had seen you.

Your hand moved across his length looking for the way he liked it. “Teach me,” you whispered in his mouth.

It didn’t take long for Suguru’s warm hand to wrap around yours.

“Like this,” he panted out as he gripped onto your hand showing the right pressure and movement. You studied the way his body spoke to you, as you separated yourself slightly from him to see his half lidded eyes, and the lips partially hanging open when he panted. His long lashes hid his brown eyes that varied in hues of gold and dark brown. Suguru finally let go of your hand, trusting you to be able to mimic him.

You kissed his neck as your hand moved faster and you relished in the sloppy sounds the hand job produced.

“You’re doing so good pleasing me” He groaned when you swiped his tip in a way that drove him crazy. You moaned at his simple confession as you clenched your thighs together once more, wetness dripping on your thighs.

Suguru threw his head back and moaned. You watched the adam's apple bob as he rode his orgasm stilling against your palm. You felt the come trickling on the back of your hand. You looked at the mess he had made, his shirt unfortunately on the line of fire.

Suguru looked at you as he calmed down, cheeks slightly red. You bit your lip nervously as you let your instincts take over. You raised your hand holding onto the eye contact with the man. He seemed curious at first of what you were going to do, but once he saw the pink tip of your tongue lick across the back of your palm he almost moaned again. He watched the erotic show you put on for him with great interest as you essentially cleaned yourself of his come.

“Wow, that’s so fucking sexy,” his voice was breathy as his gaze followed you sucking on your fingers.

You bursted out laughing and hugged him. He embraced you happily. “Can we cuddle?” You asked.

You lay down next to him and placed your head on his chest. His hair smelt like his favorite conditioner that probably cost more than any piece of clothing you owned. He had gone on long tangents of how he takes care of it more than once. Neither of you wanted to really address what this was, so instead of that the two of you stayed in the moment quietly.

It’s funny how easily you can muddle the line between friendship and something else. Break it too many times and you’ll lose sight of where it was to begin with. A delicate touch here and there, a joke a little too flirty to stay in the bounds of the silently agreed on boundaries. The question is: How far can you bend the rules till avoidance is no longer an option?

Suguru was the first one to break the silence.

“I’m probably going to get back together with Satoru at some point,” His voice wavered when he said out loud what you already knew to be true.

“I know.”

“Does it bother you?” He simply wanted to know.

“No, because I know you love him.” More. You wanted to add the word more.

“Thanks, I’m glad you’re my friend. I hope you know that.”

You smiled and buried your face against his shirt. The summer breeze grabbed onto the thin curtains and swung them around wildly. Suguru caressed your arm with his fingertips barely touching your skin when the both of you were deep in your own thoughts.

#geto suguru x reader #suguru geto x reader #jjk smut

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decanthrope · 2 months

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I present an AU

In a world where there is no Boy Who Lived, Harry goes into property development and eventually finds his way into home renovations and flipping. He doesn’t tend to go for your ordinary fixer uppers but instead cursed houses. Because they’ve got charm (okay, maybe it extends a little more than just a charm). Because, to be unflinchingly honest, normal houses are boring.

So Harry likes the houses that have dark pasts, that other renovators and real estate agents have trouble getting off the market. He likes them even when they call him crazy and laugh that he’ll never be able to resell.

I love the idea of Harry buying this fancy estate, maybe something like Grimmauld Place, but it hates him and flights back every time he tries to do any kind of work on it.

I’m talking cupboards refusing go open when he tries to replace hinges only to smack open just as he’s about to give up and giving him a bloody nose. The door refusing to cooperate when he arrives every day, not unlocking and not opening when he finally brute forces the lock open.

I love the idea of him threatening the house, arguing, bargaining, bribing, and begging in turns while neighbours and passers by (muggle and wizard alike) goggle at him and thinking he’s insane. I love the idea od Harry having to smile, make awkward small talk and try to make people believe he’s normal despite months of this behaviour.

I love the idea of Draco, maybe a neighbour, maybe working nearby, watching all of this and slowly (and reluctantly) starting to have feelings about someone who’s absolutely insane. (And maybe sitting on his feelings because he knows Harry’s time is limited, and when he’s done working on the house, he’ll move on to the next one and leave Draco behind, and all he’ll have is memories that might actually be a weird fever dream.)

I love the idea (so much) of the house doing its damnedest to sabotage every effort Harry makes to flirt with Draco and trying so hard to play it off as being “sooo normal, it’s fine, we get along great! Honestly, it’s just being playful we have a great relationship. I love when the house keeps almost dismembering me! What? No, the fact that I nearly had 17 meltdowns when I did the double glazing and am now scared to go near windows probably for the rest of my life isn’t a trauma response!”

I especially love the idea of, despite Draco’s issues, them getting together like a 90s romance flick:

When the project is in its final stages of wrapping up and Harry has (despite the odds and the house’s best efforts to thwart him) fixed it up, Draco—stressed and emotionally overwhelmed by the thought of never seeing Harry again and missing out on the chance of happiness—runs after him and makes his great big confession. And then Harry goes, “not saying no, but, uh, I’m going to be around for the next six weeks at least to do staging and see if we can’t break some of the curses that would probably have any new owners dead in the first couple days. I was planning on asking you out before I left. Christ, Malfoy, I just closed on a property down the road, I’m not moving to a remote tropical island.”

#drarry #just thoughts #au #Harry potter #i’m back for my yearly out of the blue plot bunny post #I don’t know how to use tumblr anymore #somebody please write this #i will pay you in obnoxious comments

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pupmkincake2000 · 6 months

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The main problem in Stardew Valley and DBH fandom is that people often misinterpret the characters' personalities and behavior. Especially when it comes to shipping or relationships. In Stardew it's Shane, in DBH it's Hank.

I often see people say that Shane “can be a good friend, but he will make a bad husband. A Farmer shouldn’t marry him. He’s an alcoholic, he can’t be fixed.”

And I see almost the same thing about Hank: “Connor shouldn’t be his nanny, this is consumerism on Hank’s part, he's alcoholic, he can’t be fixed” and a lot of other things like this.

But this is actually sad to realize that this is the way people perceive the usual care that any good person would show towards their friend or lover or just someone close. Although, people like when characters take care of each other, yet when we talk about Shane and Hank, people consider this care to be nothing but some kind od babysitting or other crap that actually has nothing to do with the Shane/Farmer and Hank/Connor relationships.

Let me explain.

For starters, what do Shane and Hank have in common? They are both deeply depressed, both have lost the will and interest in life after the death of someone dearest, both have suicidal tendencies and drink alcohol.

However, both still cling to life, despite all the pain they experience, both work hard. The main argument against Shane is his messy room after the wedding and the fact that he drinks cider or beer about twice a week. Hank's house is a bit of a mess too. Still, both of them are incredibly strong. Shane is aware of his problem, as well as Hank, the Farmer just needs to push him a little so he could start healing. In Hank's case, Connor helps him to believe that the world can become a better place.

It is very difficult for people who have never dealt with depression to understand those who have it. This illness cannot be removed simply by taking a pill. It can torture you from the inside for many years and you may simply not know that you have depression. In this state, it is very difficult to take care of yourself, or even think about cleaning the house you live in, it is very difficult to concentrate on work, you may have problems with memory, sleep, you may be haunted by constant fatigue and suicidal thoughts, which are incredibly difficult to get rid of. For some people with depression, it will take years to even feel a little better. Depression may not go away at all and you will have to take pills and visit a psychiatrist for the rest of your life. At the same time, you may think that you are just a lazy piece of shit who simply cannot clean up your own apartment. Depression is scary.

I can tell as a person who has depression, officially confirmed by specialists. Living with depression means fighting for your life every day. And, unfortunately, it is almost impossible to cope with it alone. Often, in order to simply start fighting depression, people need a push and help, and those who say such nasty things about Hank and Shane do not understand this.

There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in accepting help.

What Farmer and Connor do is not babysitting, it is caring.

Shane and Hank don't need to be fixed, and I am truly disgusted by those who say "they can't be fixed".

Shane and Hank are not broken (depressed people are not broken). They are desperate, in pain and need help and care.

Both Connor and Farmer help them

heal.

They don't try to fix them,

they just help them heal.

This is what

care

is.

Many people say that Connor shouldn’t become a housewife/babysitter/nanny etc. for Hank… but excuse me, if your loved one gets sick, will you not take care of them? Will you not cook them food and support them during a difficult period of life? Does caring mean being a housewife/babysitter/nanny etc.?

It's called caring, caring for someone you love, and that's what Connor and Farmer do. They take care of Hank and Shane when the men have a difficult period of life. And accepting this care, this love, accepting this help is not selfishness or consumerism or predatory behavior. This is normal for those who sincerely want to survive and recover. Heal.

There is no shame in asking for help. There is no shame in accepting help/love, remember?

Yeah, Shane doesn't stop drinking right away. If you have depression and drink because of it, it is very difficult to stop drinking right away. And a can of beer twice a week is not a crime. However, Shane tries, he really tries to heal, he looks after the house, helps on the farm and wants a family. Same thing with Hank. It is unlikely that he will immediately stop drinking, but he is also trying, he began to smile sincerely and was ready to give his life for even the tiniest hope that the world could be better, that androids would become the new hope of humanity.

It is incredibly difficult for depressed people to accept help from others. The fact that Hank accepted Connor, believed the android is alive and tried to protect the androids, only tells us he was ready to fight for his life, that he wanted to live and to be happy again, and it was Connor who was the one who gave him that push, it was Connor who became the reason of Hank's healing. And for Shane it was Farmer and there is nothing wrong with them getting married, because Shane, just like Hank, is ready to change, ready to heal, ready to fight for his happiness.

Hank and Shane are wonderful characters, and I believe they deserve love and happiness more than anyone else.

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wannab-urs · 4 months

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The Spreadsheet Digest | Vol 29

Howdy folks!

This is the final Spreadsheet Digest of 2023! I started the spreadsheet back in May as a way for me to keep up with everything I read. Basically, I was having trouble finding fics I had read so I could reread them or I was getting two chapters into a new series before realizing I'd already read it. So I did what I do and I made a spreadsheet about it. Then I felt like other people might benefit from a searchable list of fics. Then, and I don't know why, I thought people might want to know what I thought about the stuff I was reading. And here we are - 29 volumes and 34 weeks later.

Sorry for long intro! This week I have 16 fics for you (Frankie, Joel, Max Phillips, Javi P, Ezra, Dieter, Dave York, and Jack/Whiskey). Summaries and Tags provided by the author where applicable - sometimes I filled in some stuff.

You can find my masterlist here and all my fic recs here

Recs under the Pedro!

My Way - Frankie one shot by @goodwithcheese

Summary: Frankie's working on his truck... you interrupt him Tags: PIV Sex, Frankie uses his words, aka "you know he talks you through it," frankie is bossy Thoughts: if he uhhh "uses his words" this much in the series this is technically set in, I do believe I'll be reading that. This was HOT. Like absurdly hot. Lemme be you car girl, Frankie

Cocoon - Joel series by @secretelephanttattoo

Summary: A short ode to Joel's coat. / a bath with Joel Tags: Angst and intimacy. 1 reference to blood and allusion to canon typical violence (nothing is described) Thoughts: God i love little intimate moments like this... wrapping yourself up in Joel's coat, washing the bad day out of his curls... I am SICK! Someone let me hold this man, please.

I'll Leave a Light On For You - Max Phillips one shot by @oonajaeadira

Summary: Max has reservations when it comes to love, and for very good reasons. Tags: Angst. Character death. Allusions to the atrocities of war and its lasting effects. Max is a vampire. Traumatic soul memory. Me assuming I know anything about French culture of the 1930s. Thoughts: This is beautiful. Just absolutely stunning. I have a fascination with the concept of past lives, and I adore the way it's written about it here. There are some really interesting takes on it here with Max being a vampire. Also, side note, this fic made me cry. It's that soft angst that you don't expect to make you sob, but holy shit. When it hit (you'll know it when you read it) it hit. I was devastated. And then because it's adira and "we do soft here" it ends sweet.

Once in a Blue Moon - Dieter one shot by @whatsnewalycat

Summary: You're the only person working when a Christmas blizzard rolls into town and snows you in with a notoriously difficult guest, Dieter Bravo. Tags: one shot, slight dub con elements (power imbalance, isolation, alcohol) although both parties are enthusiastically consenting, hotel guest x hotel staff, blizzard, Minnesota because that’s my best friend, dieter generally being an ‘if you give a mouse a cookie’ ass bitch, kinda enemies to lovers???, Christmas, loneliness, palm reading, food and eating, cannabis, conspiracy theory mention, fluuuuuufffff, smut, dirty talk, a dash of conflict, painting stuff, power outage, poverty mention Thoughts: Aly has this way of writing Dieter that is like she knows him in real life. He feels so personal and real to me in her stories. I think I say this every time I talk about her fics, but my Dieter would not exist without hers. Anyway -- this fic is wonderful. Dieter has all that silly druggie boy charm he always has, there's a really interesting inclusion of him having PTSD from working on the movie from The Bubble and a really interesting way that he's dealing with it. It's got perfect vibes for us christmas haters too. I loved this so much.

Jingle Balls / Dashing through the ho - Frankie series by @idolatrybarbie

Summary: Santa Frankie porn... that's it. That's the fic Tags: santa kink???, cockwarming, cum, like so much cum, unprotected vaginal sex, unethical use of a mall Santa Village, semi-public sex, dirty talk and pet names, mentions of free use. / santa kink again, free use, spreader bar, creampie, come eating, facefucking, throatpie, anal sex, degradation, cum, pet names (honey, little girl, sweet girl, baby), praise, CUM AGAIN GUYS LIKE IDK WHAT HAPPENED HERE. Thoughts: This is mostly my fault and I refuse to apologize for it

Galletita - Javi P one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Summary: Your sister and brother-in-law have enlisted your help with their small business while they await the birth of their first baby. You help with the cafe and find yourself face to face with a new customer whose appetite might have met its match in you. Tags: big boi Javi P is hungry and a little cranky, you like to bake and Javi likes to eat, belly kink, feeding kink, probably bad Spanish, we’re playing fast and loose with timelines, canon, and everything in general, so just forget about timey wimey boo boo wah wah and enjoy the story lmao Thoughts: I do, in fact, need a big boy

Devour - Ezra one shot by @frannyzooey

Summary: Falling for Ezra on the Green Tags: harvesting violence, mentions of gore and blood, mentions of cannibalism, love as consumption and all the visuals that come with it, so much fucking and filth and ass play and cum eating it isn’t funny Thoughts: It was a gift for me, so I really probably should not be so amazed by how much I love this fic. But oh my god, dude. Love as consumption, freak nasty smut, Ezra being Ezra, bi!Ez, the Din/Ez hints (I'd like to know more about that), it's all perfect. I will never stop being obsessed with this

Tear You Apart - Dieter one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Summary: it's the 70s and your friend invites you to an underground club where one of your favorite musicians is playing: dieter bravo. Tags: innocence kink, mild corruption kink, backstage sex, piv, dirty talk, weed, oral + handjob (male receiving)obsessed with rockstar Dieter. Thoughts: I'm surprised I haven't seen more rockstar Dieter. This was hot, filthy, and just... in the words of the man himself perfect.

One Man Show - Dieter one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Summary: Dieter gets himself off! Tags: male masturbation, use of sex toys, anal fingering, butt plug, sex tape??? i guess Thoughts: I'm loving this solo session concept so much. Dieter filming himself!!! for no reason!!! is so hot. Everything about this is so fucking hot. I want him to send me that video...

I am a nightmare, you are a miracle - Joel series by @party-hearses

Summary: After your two year relationship with Tommy Miller ends, Joel takes you in — and it’s home like you’ve never quite known before. Tags: slow burn, explicit (eventual) smut, language, infidelity, alcohol, age difference, soft!joel, no cordyceps outbreak, sarah doesn’t exist (sorry), tommy stans don’t come for me. Thoughts: I have been very intentionally not reading WIPs and waiting for them to be finished, but I fucked up. I was scrolling the dash and frannyzooey recc'd this and it caught my eye and I just didn't even check if it was finished. But I regret nothing. Ch 4 is coming soon, I'm manifesting it. I fucking love Joel in this and I'm super intrigued by reader's uhhhh mommy issues and the way that those manifest.

MASTERLIST BINGE INCOMING | @brandyllyn

To sell your love for peace - Javi P series by @brandyllyn

Summary: You are Javier’s newest informant. You’re not his usual type but he’s willing to make an exception. More than one. Tags: smut, sex work, canon typical violence, javi being a moron Thoughts: I adore a lovers to idiots to lovers story... and man is Javi an idiot. The characterization of Javi here is perfect. Protective!Javi is very canon and I love seeing it in fic. Also, I don't normally go for miscommunication tropes (they tend to annoy me) but this was perfect. I loved every second of this story.

The Serpent Under It - Dave York one shot by brandyllyn

Summary: Dave is very good at his job Tags: Canon typical violence. kinda dark yo, soulmate AU Thoughts: I don't typically read soulmate AUs, but I actually read several of brandyllyn's this week. They're very different from the normal trope. This one broke my heart and it's less than 800 words.

To perish twice - Javi P series by brandyllyn

Summary: You can feel when your soulmate comes. Tags: smut, soulmate AU, Javi being an idiot, male masturbation, piv sex Thoughts: This is what I mean... you can feel when your soulmate has a fuckin orgasm??? What a concept. This was really hot, kind of funny, and had just the right amount of angst.

Cross My Heart - Ezra one shot by brandyllyn

Summary: While waiting at a clinic for the hope of a prosthetic arm, Ezra meets a woman who will change his life Tags: Talk of self harm / suicide but no one does it, discussion of medical procedures and prostheses, some use of ability based slurs by Ezra and others, canon typical violence Thoughts: We love a man who will threaten to murder someone's entire family for you... no seriously. I absolutely love Ezra's characterization here and I love the FMC's story AHHH. It's just a very sweet story... with a little Ezra flair.

Into the Shade - Ezra series by brandyllyn

Summary: Why would anyone fake having a soulmate? Tags: Ezra being Ezra, con man!ezra, soulmate AU, smut, Ezra x OFC smut, Ezra x reader is in there though. Thoughts: Yet again, the typical soulmate concept has been turned on its head here, and I love it. I also adore the flores animae - the particular soulmate mechanic in this fic. It's really interesting!

Dreams are Sweet Until They're Not - Jack Daniels series by brandyllyn

Summary: A crimson rose could only mean one thing. Tags: soulmates au, Jack being a slut, angst, smut, happy ending Thoughts: Okay last soulmates AU on the list, sorry. I went a little nuts. They're just so good. The ending of this one was so sweet, dude.

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My fics this week:

Something Sweet - Javi p x reader - You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. (fluff, smut)

Under Your Skin - jack daniels x javi p x reader - You’ve worked on Chucho’s ranch since you were 15 years old, grew up with Javi, loved Javi… He comes back after nearly 20 years to find you hooking up with a certain former secret agent. He’s jealous, for sure, but of who? (smut)

in the a.m. - javi p x reader - Between sleeping with informants and getting in bed with Los Pepes in the fight to bring down Escobar, Javier Peña also finds time to be with you. Wrestling with crippling self hatred, Javi tries and fails to keep his blood stained hands off of you. Based on some of my favorite Arctic Monkeys songs (smut, angst)

--------------------

Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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drabmakyo · 1 year

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Did you know that I write a lot about memory, skunks, uploading consciousness, political maneuvering, skunks, aliens, skunks, queerness, identity, emotions, and skunks? It's true! I'm very proud of them. You can read books best described as

Given the chance to live forever in a world not built for death, what do you do?

Given the inability to forget—all your joys and sorrows, all your foundational memories and traumas—how do you cope?

Given the ability to create a full copy of yourself—down to every single one of those memories—to do as they will, to individuate and live out their own forever lives, or merge back down and meld their memories with your own, what paths do you take?

and

If I had a nickel for every time I accidentally wrote something with heavy plural undertones that I hadn't intended but nonetheless made me doubt my identity, I'd have two nickels! Which isn't a lot, but it is weird that it happened twice.

The Post-Self Cycle is a tetralogy of meta-furry¹, gender-weird sci-fi books. From the very beginning of the consensual dream of the System, the members of the Ode clade, all forks from the same core personality, have dealt with fear each in their own way. Do they search for greater ways to control their lives? Do they hunt for yet deeper emotional connection? Do they hone their art to the finest point?

From roots in political turmoil to the building of a new society, the story is there to be found, and the Bălan clade is there to tell it.

Digital versions come with illustrations from five artists — Iris Jay, Jade Laclede, Floe, CadmiumTea, and johnny a.

Available as paperbacks, ebooks, and free to read in the browser. Omnibus ebook and illustrated hardcovers coming soon!

Book I — Qoheleth

"All artists search. I search for stories, in this post-self age. What happens when you can no longer call yourself an individual, when you have split your sense of self among several instances? How do you react? Do you withdraw into yourself, become a hermit? Do you expand until you lose all sense of identity? Do you fragment? Do you go about it deliberately, or do you let nature and chance take their course?"

With immersive technology at its peak, it's all too easy to get lost. When RJ loses emself in that virtual world, not only must ey find eir way out, but find all the answers ey can along the way.

And, nearly a century on, society still struggles with the ramifications of those answers.

Features the bonus novella Gallery Exhibition: A Love Story.

Madison finds a way to address not only the joys and terrors of integrated simulation technology, but also tackles questions of gender and identity while telling a pretty gripping mystery story in the process.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Book II — Toledot

"I am saying that you trust me — really trust me — and that life in the System is more subtle than I think you know. You let me into your dreams, my dear, and your dreams influence this place as much as, if not more than, your waking mind."

No longer bound to the physical, what lengths should one go to in a virtual world to ensure the continuity of one's existence?

Secession. Launch. Two separations from two societies, two hundred years apart. And through it all, so many parallels run on so many levels that it can be dizzying just keeping up. The more Ioan and Codrin Bălan learn, the more it calls into question the motivations of even those they hold most dear.

Madison Scott-Clary . . . trusts her readers to be able to understand a completely different culture and existence than our own, and makes it compelling to do so.

— Payson R. Harris

Book III — Nevi'im

"Do you know how old I am, Dr. Brahe? I am 222 years old, a fork of an individual who is...who would be 259 years old. I am no longer the True Name of 2124. Even remembering her feels like remembering an old friend. I remember her perfectly, and yet I do not remember how to be earnest. I do not know how to simply be."

The cracks are showing.

Someone picked up on the broadcast from the Dreamer Module and as the powers that be rush to organize a meeting between races, Dr. Tycho Brahe is caught up in a whirlwind of activity. And as always, when the drama goes down, there is Codrin Bălan to witness it.

When faced with eternity in a new kind of digital world, however, old traumas come to roost, and those who were once powerful are brought to their knees

Growth is colliding with memory, and the cracks are showing.

These characters are so well realized, so fleshed out, that I can’t help but to gush about how their interactions with each other inform the central plot of the book.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Book IV — Mitzvot

"To be built to love is to be built to dissolve. It is to be built to unbecome. It is to have the sole purpose of falling apart all in the name of someone else."

Even the grandest of stories can feel small and immediate when it's just one person's life.

One of the most well-known names from one of the most well-known clades on the System, the avatar of political machinations and cool confidence, has been brought low. With help coming only from Ioan Bălan and the most grudging of support from her cocladists, all True Name has left to save herself is the ability to change.

Features the bonus novella Selected Letters.

Mitzvot drills down deeper into the lives of its characters and shows us that between the world-shattering projects that change the very understanding of the System, they’re just people trying to live their lives with love and purpose.

— Nenekiri Bookwyrm

Keep an eye out for Clade, an anthology of short stories from nine authors set in the universe, coming later this year.

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¹ That is, about members of the furry subculture rather than just furry characters.

#post-self #sci-fi #meta-furry #books and reading

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chubbydino · 17 days

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I just finished reading Fool's Gold.

I feel an overwhelming amount of a myriad of emotions, and the need to put it all into words, imbued with the certainity that I will never find the words to express the true depth of what I feel, nor will there ever be a time when what I have to say will even begin to tell you just how much gravity and meaning this story holds.

nevertheless, I will try.

rpf rids you of the difficulty of creating a character - it gives you a name, face, quirks that make them true to their person, a life and circumstances, and above it all the freedom to do with that what you will. this often comes with the cost of your characters, who are real people, becoming mere puppets of a story, vessels intended to tell it.

to be able to tell a story that has never happened as you wish to tell it, centred around people that very much breathe, live, and exist all while making them true to their own person is no easy task. and yet you've done it so irreproachably. you've somehow painstakingly, and impeccably struck a balance between creating a world for them, whilst still writing an ode to them as real people.

I went into Fool's Gold wary of the tags, staunchly believing you couldn't convince me of many of the things you had implied. I understand now. there wasn't a single sentence that I didn't believe with my full heart.

my simple mind couldn't even begin comprehending how you managed to weave such an intricate, riveting plot. there's not a single thing you didn't think of. every sentence you wrote felt like it was thought out and decided well before any of these people or these events happened. everytime I thought I knew what was happening, you very artfully reminded, I in fact, did not.

you had such generously fleshed out stories and love for every character that I couldn't help but wonder how you could conclude so very many relationships in a sensible way. nevertheless I trusted you to write an epilogue that would be delicate, sensible and bittersweet, much like most meaningful stories.

having read the last chapter, beginning the epilogue confused me. and then i was fraught with anger. what of the stories you told me before ? what of them ? and then as i continued to read, i felt as if i had been doused with water, not the kind that leaves you shaking and spluttering, but the gentle kind a mother bestows upon her child - with care and love, and in some parts the feeling that times will not always be like this. suddenly I wanted to be nowhere but where you had taken me, hear no other story than the one you were telling in that moment. and just like that, it was over.

thank you, with everything in me, thank you.

i don't really have words to properly articulate myself, but thank you. fool's gold will always be special to me in many ways, and allowed me to engage in F1 in a way far beyond how i'd been doing so for years prior.

it has its flaws and there are parts people hate about it (including the epilogue lol) and there are a lot of things i would improve in the fic, but the joy of fanfic for me is that it is what it is, raw and unpolished. FG really taught me a lot about myself and opened a lot of doors for me that would be firmly shut if i hadn't accepted a $5 venmo for coffee from my dear friend who wanted me to write my crazy rpf idea.

i'd never written rpf before FG and wow did it change my whole opinion on rpf 😂 f1 rpf is still the wild west in many ways but i LOVE writing my messed up takes on these guys who i have no clue about irl 😂😂😂

#asks #FG #fools gold

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mydigitaldiaryz · 20 days

Text

Entry Log #8

Sort of blanking out on this entry. I'll probably forget what I put in here.

TW; Talks of OD, Suicide

My friends have been steadily leaving me. This is for the better, though. This is actually a positive thing compared to something negative. It's part of a suicide plan that I made a while ago.

The more friends I lose, the more closer it gets me to commiting. The second I get rid of all my silly companions, I think I'll follow through with the plan I've conjured up in my head and come out to my parents about being gay and how I cut myself. I know they don't accept homosexuality. They'll probably hate that for me, 'nd probably kick me out of the house.

Of course, I'll comply. I'd pack, nothing much really, my phone, a bottle of water, and the bottles of extra-strength tylenol that I have been conjuring up over time. I'll move to a secluded space, I can already guess where-ever it might be. Honestly, I even thought about doing it in my childhood park, get a taste of nostalgia before I go out. For the sake of it, I'll probably text my final goodbyes and shoot my last voicemails to my loved ones, even leave them a paper letter to read. A goodbye note to send myself off. Hell, I'd probably even live stream it. Make myself known or famous too. It's silly childhood dream of mine. I know that part is twisted, but if I'm going out, why not let everybody know about it? I bet people would love to see that anyways.

Then, at the end of my plan, I die. As plain as that. And I know it will work too, because I'll make sure it works, considering the amount I would take if I eventually reach that time.

I'd rather not have a funeral. Or have my loved ones cry over somebody like me. That's why I want them all gone and hating me before I die. So they don't have to suffer, seeing their friend/family pass. Not to mention how expensive the funeral would be, god, I'd never wish that burden on my mother or father. I'm already a big enough one anyways. I feel like I was destined to be alone, too. From when I began living to where I die, I'll be alone. And I accepted it, at this point.

Of course, I know this can change for the better, so it's a plan for a reason. But that's so completely unlikely now. I've lost hope of my life changing. It's sad to know that my life dreams will never get completed, my hopes and wishes will never come true because I am an incompetent person who can't face reality and the struggles of being alive. I'm drowning and there's no way out of it anymore. I'm suffocated. I mean, I really wish I could've accomplished something, but now? I can barely see me getting out of bed without having to cry or feel like a piece of shit. I'll never have the life I wanted. I'll never be the person I could have been. I'll never be anything. All my dreams are just a waste. Nothing I even wish for comes true, all my prayers have never been answered.

I want them to, though. I want to keep fighting, but I don't have the strength anymore. I wish I could continue staying strong, but I don't know now if I ever was in the first place. I wish I could give little me the life they always wanted. It breaks my heart knowing that little kid will turn out to me. They would be so disappointed in what they see now.

To the little me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the life that you wanted. I tried my best, I swear. I promise in this next one I'll make you proud. I'll do my best. I'll give you everything I couldn't have in this life. Maybe in another place and time, but it's just not here. It can't be.

I just want to die soon. I hope this process speeds up faster. Some people are really stubborn when it comes to leaving, but thankfully, most don't care when I'm gone or not. I need to disappear soon. I hope my plan will follow through soon enough.

Goodnight reader, thank you for reading to the end. (If there is any reading it.) I'd appriciate a like and follow, really gets me going 🙏

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synergysilhouette · 4 months

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I swear, they approached Disney's 100th anniversary film all wrong.

The best part about "Wish" were the easter eggs, and even those were hit-or-miss. The plot didn't scream fairy tale or Disney--and neither did the music; if I never knew this film was a Disney film, I'd say it was a company's first attempt at an animated film. As a first attempt, it's not bad, but as Disney's 62nd film and an ode to 100 years of business....I was heavily disappointed.

I've made posts about how this could've been another epic Disney film, but for this post, I wanna try another angle, with two different ways Disney could've approached this celebratory film.

Option 1: A parody. Looking at "Enchanted", AKA one of Disney's best live-action films, the movie makes fun of classic Disney tropes as well as paying homage to renaissance-era films, which at the time this movie came out, was Walt Disney Animation Studio's biggest successful period. A film about a naive animated soon-to-be princess who is banished to the real world discovers what she wants out of life, all while charming those around her. I'm not saying "Wish" needed to include the real world aspect, but having a parody about a princess (or prince) who comes off very early-Disney while still feeling modern and giving us Disney-esque tropes and a fun story would've been a great vibe. Imagine if Asha is naive and easily taken advantage of by King Magnifico, who teaches her magic and manipulates her into harming others, seeing her youth as a weakness ("Well, you're young. You don't know anything, really."). Imagine the story actually having her BE a fairy godmother, albeit in training, and she has to learn the price and limitations of wishes (very "Cinderella"-esque) and learning when to help and when not to help others. It'd be mature and magical at the same time! Plus I imagine Magnifico being a cross between Narissa and Gaston. Amaya would probably be non-existant or an admirer Magnifico uses.

Option 2: A cutting, modern take on a classic. While I'd rather have "Kingdom of the Sun," "The Emperor's New Groove" is a funny and irreverent story about a selfish Inca Emperor who's turned into a llama by his power-hungry advisor and must return to the palace while learning to care about others along the way. Kuzco, in contrast to most Disney protagonists (or most protagonists in kids/family films in general) starts off petty, untrustworthy, and self-centered, but these qualities also give way to cleverness and humor, something that most Disney heroes lack due to either their innocence, kindess, or seriousness. Kuzco continually comments on things around him with quips and remarks that go unnoticed by the general populace (thanks to breaking the 4th wall), and it got me thinking, what if Asha was like this--or better yet, Magnifico? What if Magnifico wasn't a villain per se, but a selfish and mean king who continually had pessimistic comments to make about this fantasy-esque kingdom he created and his airheaded inhabitants. Their growing dependence on him--as well as their happy-go-lucky attitudes make him constantly patronize and devalue them, and his attitude accidentally causes destruction for the kingdom. When Asha challenges his perspective and goes on an adventure to bring back his love for others (trauma does run deep for him), he learns that everyone has a wish worth granting, and that he shouldn't be so quick to look down on others because they still have the joy and innocence he lost. Plus the people of Rosas learn not to take advantage of others and appreciate the things they have. Magnifico being like a cross between Yzma and Kuzco would be a sight to behold, while Asha takes on more of a wise Pocahontas-type role.

I can't be the only one who thinks this was a better approach to "Wish" if they didn't want to do a typical epic film.

#disney #disney animation #the emperor's new groove #wish #enchanted #giselle #kuzco #disney princess

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creetchure · 6 months

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Thoughts on Eddie Bloomberg, Teen Titans 2003, and trust in the hero world.

From issue 30 to 74 of the Teen Titans 2003 run, which happen to be the issues Eddie appears in, and therefore the issues I've read, the arcs and conflicts emerging with the team all hinge on trust. Whether that be a question of who betrayed the team or not feeling like the team trusts them, the run does a good job at highlighting the difference of definition different characters have when it comes to what trust even means on a fundamental level. To me, the character through which we get to see that is Eddie.

First, a bit of background as to who Eddie is, as he's not the most well known DC character out there. Introduced in issue 1 of Blue Devil 1984, Eddie is a gopher in Hollywood, working with his aunt Marla, who directs a movie in which Dan Cassidy is a stunt double. When Dan becomes Blue Devil through a magical incident, Eddie eventually decides to make himself a super suit that allows him to become Blue Devil's sidekick and partner Kid Devil. They go on light hearted 80s adventures, and after the end of the run on issue 24, he disappears from comics for a while, until his reintroduction to modern comics in Young Justice a few years later. He gains powers along the line, and joins the Teen Titans, becoming a fixed member of the team on issue 34.

What his presence allows is for a direct contrast between these superhero teens, ans the average 17 year old. For all that Eddie has been a skdekick since he was 11 or 12, unlike the rest of the team, he has not been a strong part of the hero community through that time, and has not had to face stakes quite as high as the others. He is, under most aspects, a regular teenager with an extracuricular.

Issue 42, during which him and Zatara go to hell, shows the rift that there is between a teen vigilante and a regular teen in what is to me a striking way.

Eddie: I only trust two people, I half trust a third. Zatara: Dude.

Eddie: Sorry.

In the comics, it's almost treated as if Eddie has trust issues from that single bit of dialogue, which struck me as strange the second time I read through Eddie's appearances, because him and Zatara are not close. They do not know each other well. Eddie not trusting Zatara would have been expected in most situations, but here it's treated as odd. Growing up, he was mostly isolated from his peers, so that would make the other two people he trusts his aunt Marla who raised him, and his mentor Blue Devil. In the context of real life, that would be considered normal, but here it's markedly different from other caracters' point of view.

The Teen Titans, have, for the most part, been putting their lives on the line for others pretty consistently for at least a couple of years, and the ones who haven't, Rose and Amy namely, have been raised to give their absolute loyalty, whether that'd be to their father, or the army. In both cases, it's expected for these characters to trust allies and teammates with their lives, at least on the field, because that's inherent to them being able to do their jobs. It's a genre expectation that teammates trust each other within the first few issues, to be able to move the plot along. A recent example of that can be found in issue 2 of the current Birds of Prey run, where Harley equates being part of the team to Dinah trusting her wholegeartedly; you can also see it put to the test in Batman Incorporated.

On a meta level, absolute trust between teammates is necessary, but in world, it does say something about hero culture, and Eddie having been raised out od said culture, does an amazing job at showing it.

#meta #teen titans 2003 #eddie bloomberg #tim drake #rose wilson #cassie sandsmark #jaime rayes #bombshell #mgann morzz

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cere-mon-ials · 2 years

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I heard a great many things about My Mister before I went into it: a masterpiece, a truthful portrait of everydayness, a vehicle towards catharsis for the parts of the self weathered by everydayness, a moving story that is strongly anti-patriarchy, an ode to parental love and a child’s love and a sibling’s love and a friend’s love and other love that comes uninvited—all true. But I was not prepared for this story to be packaged in an affair and internal corporate espionage.

Here’s the premise: Do Jun-young, the young and haughty CEO of a successful building & engineering company, is in a power war with other senior members for the attention of their ailing, but still sharp, Chairman. Caught in between is a general manager, Park Dong-hoon, a decent, generous-to-a-fault man. Dong-hoon is the darling of the other faction in the office, and the task at hand for Jun-young is firing Dong-hoon. To Jun-young, who used to be his junior at university, Dong-hoon’s rise would amount to Jun-young's fall. Jun-young has little by way of a brain, few spineless right-hand men by way of brawn, and lots of money. For Lee Ji-an, the cold 20-year-old temporary worker with fortitude that comes with abject poverty and mounting debt and being a social reject, this is jackpot. She promises Jun-young that she could get Dong-hoon fired in exchange for money. In the process, Ji-an finds out that Dong-hoon’s wife has been cheating on him with Jun-young.

Here’s the heart: Dong-hoon and Ji-an embark on a relationship where they see in each other a reflection of themselves and then some. They are empty, broken people who constantly wonder why life happens to them, with neither the strength to ask what matters nor the inclination to face the music of the answer. They protect each other, from themselves and others.

Age has caught up to both of them—Dong-hoon, literally, he’s pretty much lived the same way for four decades; Ji-an, metaphorically, because at 20, she has already lived through the trauma of being an abandoned child, the disillusionment of a teen shunned by faux meritocracy, and the role of a care-giver without money or support. She is a child who had to grow up too soon in the worst way possible—taking the life of an abusive elder, who should have taken care of her, in self-defence. She is 30,000 years old, she thinks. He is 40, and that’s old enough, he thinks.

Ji-an’s survival instincts jerks Dong-hoon to a life that feels more urgent. Dong-hoon’s rule-abiding spirit shows Ji-an how to secure a life that could afford her space to breathe. It is Ji-an who protects Dong-hoon from being fired. It is Dong-hoon who tells the clueless Ji-an how to move in the world of adults, above ground.

Every other relationship in this show has a name. Sibling, friend, neighbour, parent, spouse, office senior, officer junior. But this one, of Dong-hoon and Ji-an, with their 20-year age-gap, has none. ("Platonic" does come close but I am still wrestling with that one.) They go out for dinner, witness each other at their worst and saddest, and tell each other what the other needs to hear the most.

The choice of this age-gap inevitably gives rise to the question of another affair, and this is where writer-nim Park Hae-young has me by the collar. My Mister feeds off the casual, crude, often-infantalising narrative of why young women are attracted to older men. That stereotype is bait, for those so easily bought into too many stories of the kind, to interrogate what about relationships outside the norm in civil society—relationships that do not have a name—terrifies them. The characters in the show who accuse Dong-hoon and Ji-an of having an affair are those assigned as antagonists.

PHY believes and says “Every relationship is fascinating and precious,” so why do we say no to making more of them as we age? The norms in civil society is a good reason, but maybe a superficial one. She maintains it's the simple act of being vulnerable that leads to building and treasuring relationships; one of those things we tend to lose as we "age". The facade to maintain as a successful person is at odds with being vulnerable so we have to fragment the contours of our love and maintain boundaries. It’s why the relationship between Dong-hoon and Ji-an is—and has to be—cemented on wiretapping and surveillance and the ugliness of baring your soul, against your will even.

At their workplace, Ji-an is only privy to Dong-hoon, the structural engineer working a desk job without many promotions under his belt for a man several years his junior. It is because Ji-an snoops around that she learns of the affair that sets the story in motion. It’s how she finds out that he is a husband who goes back to an empty house often. He is the middle child, bearing the weight of providing in the absence of a financially-independent elder brother and a younger one trapped in his own insecurities and failures.

But it’s also how she learnt of the love and grace he enjoys otherwise. He plays soccer with friends he has grown up with, he drinks with his siblings whom he has loved all his life, he is the favourite son to his mother. This kind man is the beating heart of his neighbourhood. There will be at least two dozen people who will chase around the streets of Seoul seeking vengeance should he have a scratch on his body. If he is in pain, his brothers will give up other responsibilities to be with him all night until blue hour. These scenes, and the ones in Jeong-hui’s bar, are brimmed with warmth, of love freely taken and given. It’s how Ji-an begins to fantasise having people to go back to, and to call your own. Her love for Dong-hoon is also a love to the world he brings to her, a world of community that sticks together.

When I watched My Liberation Notes, I sensed that PHY does not give a hoot about green flags and healthy relationships. She might look at those tweets and posts, laugh with her whole chest and mumble: cute but no. This is so very stark in Gi-hoon (Dong-hoon’s younger sibling) and Yu-ra’s relationship, one that is marked by the intimate act of cleaning up vomit. Love comes from unfiltered, almost disgusting, honesty, picking at things the other would never think of sharing to another being. Love is a muscle you have to use everyday. You have to be talking all the time; and somebody should be listening.

The scene that is tattooed in my heart is Dong-hoon whispering “Call me,” into the phone he knows she is listening to. This is after he learns the truth of everything, of her initial plans to betray him, of her surveillance. But as he tells her later: “Once you know someone, there comes a point where you don’t really care what they do. and I know you.” He knows her and now, he knows everything. That's all that matters.

In the final act of the show, loving truly as knowing fully is reinforced on a very unlikely character: Gwang-il, Ji-an’s abusive cousin, son of the man she killed for abusing her and their grandmother—and also the loan shark Ji-an owes to. It is through those surveilled tapes that we find out that before he was the son of a father who was murdered by a cousin he loved, he was kind. Ji-an was speaking to Dong-hoon, who knows this before us, the audience. That submission, those words she could never say to Gwang-il’s face, pushes the plot which began with a discreet affair to its conclusion.

When My Mister ends, things are slightly better for the characters than when we see them but it’s left ambiguous. The last 15 minutes of the show goes like this: four minutes of Dong-hoon, in his empty apartment after his wife has left for the US to join their son, engaged in chores and a snotty breakdown; Gi-hoon and Yu-ra’s fracturing relationship leading to a break-up; Dong-hoon's new company; Ji-an in her new job and friends she has started making there; Gi-hoon picking up a pencil to write a screenplay; and a final reunion between Dong-hoon and Ji-an one year after their last goodbye. I think PHY needs her characters to be people who find peace and who love and look out for one another, even if they remain broken.

That love doesn’t need to be forever. Ji-an stops listening to Dong-hoon’s phone after he finds out that she does. When she is about to uninstall the app from her phone, she registers the way his shoes hit the asphalt on the road, that dignified stride despite the hunched shoulders, and his steady breathing one more time. The footsteps recede; she isn’t listening anymore. Then they come back; love can also be a powerful memory, a fuel to someplace else to love more and be someone else. PHY’s thesis is so devastatingly haunting because she dares to tell you, with a jerk first and then gently like a goodnight kiss, that loving is both the very least and the most you can do while you’re here.

#my mister #my ahjussi #kdrama #lee sun kyun #lee ji eun #iu #one of 57 thoughts that has plagued me #i can't think of another writer who is so fearless in answering hard questions as much as in asking them #phy is very good at knitting nuance through the broadest range of characters and that's why you can't take away a single one of them #watch this show for dong-hoon and ji-an #but also watch it for all the others who will live with you long after it's over #(forgive typos please it's sunday and i am tired from feeling)#notes

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shawol-poser · 2 months

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hello!! i'm here for the matchup thingie ^^

• fandoms: shinee + exo

• pronouns: she/her

• mbti + ennea: isfp 4w5

• taste in fashion: i like more simple outfits. like shirts that are just a single color bc i'm not really into stamps and all. and the shirts are in more neutral colors like black & white, or colors in a darker shades, especially red and blue. i loove stripes tho. also sweaters are my thing, and crochet tops for summer. for bottom parts, whatever is comfortable which means i like mom jeans better than skinny jeans lol (sorry if this got too long shshsjsjsj)

• aesthetic tendencies: i'm not really into makeup, the only thing i put on is lip gloss. i keep my hair natural aka curly, i dyed it dark ginger sometime ago but now i'm growing it out and thinking about dying it black (naturally it is dark brown)

• favorite features on my self: hmm i like my eyes and eyelashes, also my lips, my collabones too kinda, and my hair when it's not a mess

• favorite group era: ok this is HARD (pun unintended) omg hmm for shinee i love 1 of 1, the vibes were great and they all looked so good in those colorful fits, so that's the one. for exo tho i'm torn between monster, ko ko bop and cream soda aghshshsjsjs but i will go with ko ko bop for a single reason: red mullet baek (aka the loml)

• what i like in a partner: i like respectful people, who don't pressure me and try to make me feel comfortable through small but meaningful actions. people who are rather quiet than loud really catch my eye, but i also enjoy being around more extroverted and talkative people, although i have a hard time keeping up with them most times

• a song that sounds like me: the archer by taylot swift :,) i relate to it soo much it's crazy. mitski's thursday girl too, and lana del rey's doin' time (a friend of mine once said this song has my vibe lol i took it as a compliment)

• 3 fav songs from the groups: ok now that's hard omgggg for shinee one is definitely lucifer (my fav tt of theirs), an ode to you, and 1 of 1 (honestly i'm still getting into their discography). for exo it's forever, she's dreaming and let me in (man i changed it like 10 times help)

that's ittt, please take your time with writing! and take care of yourself too <3

Hello!! Thank you so much for your patience, it was fun working on this, so thank you for the request! All matchups that I recieve will probably be around this length, give or take, so I hope this is fine!!

For SHINee, your match is: Taemin

Sweetie, can I just ask, are you okay? The songs that you mentioned are exceptionally interesting but also rather sad— Anyway, to start off, an ISFP 4w5, to my understanding, is someone who is very introverted and appreciates living a more average life, with very few but exceptionally exciting things. Just enough to make them not quite ordinary, but just enough to fly under the majority’s radar.

As such, I believe someone that catches wind of your unusual “charm” or interests would become instantly interested in you. Especially someone like Taemin.

More under the cut.

As an idol with a lot of accolades for both group and solo works, he’s definitely someone who outside of work greatly appreciates a sense of normalcy. Being an INFP, this also heavily implies that he’s more likely to be a homebody, and that he’s someone prone to sticking to what he knows and rarely tries anything new. Being with someone who feels like they’re immediately part of his average at-home lifestyle, yet still keeps him on his toes, is definitely someone that he’d like to have in his life.

Besides, his personality is essentially a melting pot of all of his hyungs combined, so in his humble opinion, he’s all the fun that anyone could ever need.

“Minho hyung? Aren’t I enough fun though? 6v6”

He thinks that the way you dress is so cute. To him, although a bit plain, the fact that such outfits compliment you so well is an ode to how naturally charming and attractive you are. And, because they’re more on the simple side, he can subtly match with you whenever you go out without catching too much attention. Nowadays, he’s more interested in looking soft and cute anyway. So if he needs an idea on what to wear, or how he’d want to style himself, he can always count on looking at you to feel inspired!

He also loves your au naturél look. While anyone can appreciate how pretty makeup looks, he especially appreciates how fresh and sexy you look with your natural skin, and glossy lips. For whatever reason, he thinks it goes well with your curly hair, and the mostly natural colors you dye it in! It’s like he’s looking at someone who is beauty incarnate, and he always feels that simply looking at you is like a breath of fresh air. Like after a long day, he can just hug and feel refreshed!

Speaking of hair though, to an extent, Taemin can empathize with how stubborn and messy curly hair can get as he has had it at some point. If you’ll allow him, he’ll probably share some tips about how he managed to keep his tamed. (And if he can’t remember what that special hair thing was called, he’ll randomly ask his makeup and stylist noona about it)

Taemin is also very considerate and well attuned to the emotional needs of others thank to his INFP personality. Whenever he does something with you around, you can always count on him to ask if it’s something you’d like to do. And if not, given his hard-headed nature, he’d try and find a compromise that will still keep things fun and exciting for both of you.

Taemin also strikes me as someone who would take a little work with him home, as opposed to staying at a studio overtime. So he’d probably bounce some of his ideas for concepts onto you, and will willingly engage in lengthy conversations about what you think, how it could be possibly interpreted and received, and if it’s something that the fans would like.

Overall, I think someone like Taemin would be greatly entranced by someone like you :DDD

For EXO, your match is: Suho

On the more Extroverted side of the spectrum, I believe Suho, Mr. Kim Junmyeon, would love to be your match!

As a natural born leader, Suho has traits that can easily stir an exciting and fun gathering into something easy and comfortable. Having a fair share of friends who are introverts themselves, along with members that are on that end of the spectrum as well, he knows how to take care of those that prefer observing and having fun with others as opposed to being the fun.

As an Extrovert, he is usually recharged when he hangs out with people he’s very comfortable with and loves sharing things that he’s interested in with them.

This would extend to you! In the very likely scenario that he’s away on tour or preparing for a comeback, whenever something happens with the boys, or if he finds a pretty illustration or flower, he’ll snap a picture or two just to send you. One with just the object of interest, and one that has him in the frame, along with his famous uncle jokes as a caption or greeting. Most of the time, he’s sharing videos about him complaining about the members.

“I miss you like how the boys miss the point.”

He’s definitely the type of person that would want you to constantly think of him when something good happens in your life, so he’d want you to have a lot of happy memories to look back on whenever you meet. Things like picking out a matching outfit, taking candid photos of you, holding out a hand for you when crossing the road, things that make you feel properly girl-like because he wants to treat you with care. Ever the prince that he is.

He’s also the type of person that tends to take care of the people he’s with, almost in a motherly fashion. So even if he knows that you’re very capable and naturally charming, he’d love to help you out regardless. It’s a habit he’s picked up on as years of being a leader, but in the instance that you do even the smallest of favors for him, he’s eternally grateful. The boys would love you too after seeing how much their leader is whipped for you and would jokingly call both of you, “mom.”

Nowadays, Suho is super into the “casual, effortless” style, so he’d find your own style of clothing very fresh and compliments his own very well. I can also see him as being the type of person that loves to be on camera and likes taking nice pictures of himself. So after getting inspired by those aesthetic posts of couples on pinterest, he would love to take those fun and casual pictures of the two of you, if you would let him.

He loves your eyes. Whenever you two eat together and you’re too absorbed in your food to notice, he likes to watch how your eyes blink and how your eyelashes kiss your grace your cheeks ever so often! He’ll have to remind himself to kiss them later when he sends you home. Though the thought of it makes him feel sort of lonely, he knows that you’d always just be a text or picture away whenever he does go back to work. But as long as he has you right now, he’ll make the most of what he can.

Overall, I think this princely leader would love to take care of you! :DDD

#shinee #shinee matchup #exo matchup #shinee x reader #exo x reader #exo imagines #shinee imagines #lee taemin #lee taemin imagine #shinee taemin #exo suho #exo suho imagine #kim junmyeon #kim junmyeon imagine #suho matchup #taemin matchup

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