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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

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AITA for exposing my sister-in-law's secret during a fight?

Ok, this one is going to need a bunch of context.

I (29F) started to date my fiance F (31M) when I was 26. While he is the sweetest person ever, his family is a bit difficult and it was hard for me to fit in. They are a very traditional family of Japanese descent, very rich too, and his mother MIL (60sF) had a dream of seeing all of her three sons married to other rich girls of Japanese descent. I am white and from very humble origins, so I was not very well accepted at first. The thing that bothered me the most was the constant comparisons to my brother in law BIL's (34M) wife SIL (33F), who is rich and of Japanese descent. I was deeply in love with F and decided to fight for my place in his family; I started to take Japanese classes and ended up really good at it, and I was also the one who took care of MIL after her appendicitis' surgery. She recognized my hard work and we became closer and closer, at the same time she realized SIL didn't make the same effort for her and the family as I do, and she started to be very vocal about how I was her favorite daughter in law and how SIL should do better and try to be more like me. Suddenly, the tables have turned and SIL was the one being compared to me, no the other way around.

Of course she didn't like that at all and started to antagonize me and criticize every small thing about me. She would complain my dog would bark too much (which she did, but SIL was a little mean about it), and when my dog died, she made a comment about how finally she wouldn't have to hear her barking anymore (that stung a lot since I loved my dog with all my heart and she was like a baby to me), she would also complain about my apartment every time she visited me, saying it was too cheap (as I said, I come from humble origins) and her newest topic of complaining are my earrings: I like to wear cute and funny earrings (only at work and family gatherings, I don't wear them at social events or anything like that) and she always talks about how I'm too old to wear them and how tacky it looks. F and I noticed she's been progressively meaner the closer we get to our wedding (three months from now) and think she's trying to scare me away before I become an official part of the family.

One last piece of context: some months ago, F told me in confidence about how 6 years ago SIL's brother and sister in law died in a car accident and left an orphaned boy of 4 years old. SIL was the little boy's only family, but she refused to take him in saying she already had too much work with her own son (who was also 4 at the time). That didn't go well with the family; MIL and my father in law (who was alive at the time) assured her they would help with the kid and she would have all the support, but she simply didn't want the boy, so he was sent to the system. That was something MIL never forgave her for, since family is everything to her, and it was something only MIL, BIL, SIL, F and his younger brother knew. He told me that in confidence and asked me to not tell anyone. I promised I wouldn't.

Now for the actual situation.

Our last family dinner was one of F's cousins' birthday, so all the extended family was around. No kidding, I think there were around 60 people there or more. SIL, once again, decided to mock me about my earrings (little cherry earrings, very cute) and talked again how I was to old to wear them, how they were kid earrings etc. I've been tolerating her bullshit for so long now and after her comments about my dog's death, I was more sensitive than usual, so I snapped back and said that it's not because she dresses herself like an old lady that I have to do the same. She got angry at that and a proper fight started; we saying worse and worse stuff to each other while everyone stopped to watch. It ended up with her mocking my upbringing and calling me a gold digger, accusing my of only being with F for his money. That really struck a nerve because I heard that before at the beginning of our relationship and it always hurt my feelings, since I genuinely love F. Before I could even think about it, I said: "At least I'm not a heartless bitch like you. How's your nephew doing, by the way? Oh, you have no idea, right? Since you put him in a fucking orphanage!"

She got speechless after that and left the place, went straight to her car with BIL and went home. I didn't hear from her or him since them. F is furious with me since he told me that in confidence and now all the extended family knows SIL's secret. MIL doesn't care at all; she never got over what SIL did to that little boy and it's been a while since SIL isn't in her best graces.

Now that I'm calmer I feel a little guilty for exposing SIL like that, but she was always so awful to me that I can't really feel that bad. Mostly, I feel bad for BIL, with who I always had a good relationship and even defended me back in the day when the family didn't accept me very well. Now he's not talking to me either and, as far as I know, he's also not talking to F.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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theycallmebecca · 1 year

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Drabble: The Five Step Plan

Well this story for @the-slumberparty turned into a BEAST... I can't tell you the last time I've written something this long... it took a few days, but I'm happy with how it turned out.

As I mentioned, this is for @the-slumberparty and the Week 3 challenge to try something new in regards to tropes. The prompt I used was baby/child acquisition, but with exes to lovers.

In the end, this story turned into an AU version of how Frank Adler ended up as the guardian for his niece Mary. So not only was it new tropes for me, but also more dramatic and emotional than I normally get. Hence the warnings.

Title: The Five Step Plan

Pairing: Frank Adler x female reader

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: some language, AU version of how Frank became Mary's guardian, minor character death but mostly dealing with the fallout from said death

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

Usage Disclaimer: This work is for fans only. This author does not give permission for it to be shared, spoken of, referred to in any public manner (podcast, tv, online, etc.) that wants to either make a celebrity uncomfortable, mock fan fiction/fandom in any way, or the author themselves. Requests can be made, but it is unlikely the author will change their mind. If no response is given to a request then the answer is a solid no, not interested and the work cannot be shared, spoken of or even referred to, regardless of the manner or context.

The call came in minutes before Frank was due on stage for a discussion panel at a conference.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Adler, there’s been a car accident," the police officer said. "Your sister's car was sideswiped and she did not make it.”

“My niece? Mary? Is she… is she ok?” he panicked.

“She’s fine, she wasn’t in the car,” the police officer answered but there was a hesitancy in his voice.

“What's going on?!” Frank demanded.

“She was the one who called to report it,” the police officer said. “It happened right in front of her.”

“Oh Mary!” Frank cried out, his heart breaking in two for his 13-year-old niece. “Where is she now?”

“She’s currently at the hospital, she insisted on riding with her mother,” the police officer said. “She threatened to sue the city for child abandonment if they didn’t take her with… she said you were in California.”

“My wife,” he heard himself say. “I’ll call my wife, she’ll come get Mary and do whatever needs to be done.”

“Give her my number, I’ll wait for her call,” the police officer said, his voice sounding relieved.

Frank mumbled goodbye and then hung up, totally numb. His sister was dead. Gone forever and…

“Mr. Adler? They’re ready for you,” a voice said from behind him.

Frank turned and somehow managed to say, “I can’t. I have to leave. My sister…” He couldn’t say the word, so he just said, “accident. Bad.”

Then he fled. It wasn’t until he was in the privacy of his hotel room that he called you. Technically, you were still his wife, even though the two of you had been in a trial separation for almost six months. But he knew you loved Mary, too, and would drop everything to rush to her.

————

You got to the hospital less than twenty minutes after hanging up with Frank. The police officer was waiting for you and within minutes you were reunited with Mary.

The teenager was wearing her signature brave face until she saw you, then she melted, the events of the afternoon catching up to her. You rushed to her side and gathered her into your arms, giving into your own emotions as she sobbed.

Eventually, the police officer cleared his throat and apologetically said that there were some legal things you had to take care of on behalf of Frank before you could take Mary home.

“I want to go, too,” Mary said, standing up. “I don’t want to be left alone.”

You nodded your head and gave the police officer a look that said not to argue. After all, Mary had already seen her mother immediately following the accident.

An hour later, you unlocked the front door of Frank’s condo, the place you’d called home for five years. You ushered Mary to the master bedroom and then held her until she cried herself to sleep.

It was only once she was asleep that you called for more help, asking your best friend to go to Mary and her mom's apartment and get their cat Fred and pack a bag of clothes for Mary.

You knew Frank wasn’t the biggest fan of cats, but you also knew he wouldn’t make his niece give up her cat, not after losing her mom.

As you waited for your friend to show up, you wandered around the condo and eventually realized that Frank hadn’t changed a thing in the six months since you’d moved out.

It made you both mad and sad that he hadn’t changed anything, because it just reaffirmed to you the choice you’d made to walk away. You weren’t a materialistic person in the least, but you wanted to be loved and appreciated and Frank wasn’t good at expressing love or appreciation. You’d hoped your walking away would wake him up, but it clearly hadn’t.

You heard Fred yowling in protest before your friend knocked on the door. Getting up, you let her in and took the cat carrier from her.

“Shh, Fred,” you whispered to the cat. “Mary needs you.”

The cat quieted instantly and didn’t fight you as you pulled him out of the carrier. You carried him down the hall to Frank’s room and set him on the bed.

He made soothing cat noises as he walked towards Mary and then he snuggled up close to her. You held your breath until you saw Mary’s shoulders visibly relax and knew that Fred was exactly what she had needed.

Leaving the room, you helped your friend with the rest of Mary’s stuff, putting it all in the guest room.

“Do you want me to stay until Frank gets here?” your friend offered.

You shook your head and said, “We’ll be fine.”

Your friend gave you a look that said she didn’t believe you, but she gave you a hug and made you promise to call if you needed anything.

————

It had taken Frank nearly twelve hours, but he was finally home. He took the stairs two at a time and quietly let himself into the condo since it was nearly 5 in the morning.

He set his bag down and he made his way to the guest room, where he assumed you’d put Mary to bed. He was surprised, therefore, to find the door open and the room empty save for things he recognized from Mary's room from her apartment.

Turning towards the master bedroom, he crossed the hall and turned the handle slowly. Stepping inside, he was surprised to find Mary alone, though a telltale purr alerted him to the presence of Fred, too.

He was annoyed for half a second before it dawned on him that of course you’d put Mary in his bed. The girl had been through a traumatic experience and you’d both agreed to take her some place she knew that wasn’t home. He hadn’t been there, but the bed had smelt like him, which would have helped calm Mary more.

Stepping out of the room, he pulled the door closed and made his way to the heart of the condo, only seeing the blankets folded up on the couch as he passed.

Hearing noises in the kitchen, he followed them and found you in the kitchen starting coffee and wearing one of his shirts and a pair of sweats.

You finished with the coffee pot and then turned towards him, your face showing the same grief that he knew his own showed, too.

He crossed the room and wrapped you in a hug, both of you giving into your grief.

————

You’d been in the waiting room the day Mary had been born and she had stolen your heart the first time you'd held her. She wasn’t your niece biologically, but she had been the one to make you an aunt and the two of you had had a special bond because of that.

Therefore, there was no way in hell you were going to abandon her when she needed you the most. Even if it meant having your heart rebroken nearly every day loving a man who would never love you back the way you deserved to be loved.

The first few weeks had been the hardest. The funeral had been planned and then had taken place. You and Frank had packed up his sister’s apartment, all of her things going into boxes in his garage while Mary’s stuff was unpacked in the guest room.

Then, at the will reading, you and Frank had found out that his sister still had you and Frank named as Mary’s legal guardians. You'd known she’d made the change following their mother’s passing, but you’d assumed she would have changed it when you and Frank had separated. Obviously, she hadn’t.

“I’ll move into my office,” Frank offered one evening after Mary was in bed and you were preparing to go home to your apartment. “You can move into the bedroom. It’s the only thing that makes sense when you’re here all day.”

You wanted to argue, but you were starting to get worried about Mary. She was seemingly just going through the motions and you were sure having both you and Frank within reach at a moment's notice would be helpful.

“Ok,” you said. “For Mary.”

And thus, that weekend, you moved back into your old home and went to bed in the bed that had been yours and Frank’s. The bed that smelled like him and made your heart hurt even more.

————

After you'd moved out of the condo, Frank had spent as little time there as possible, choosing to stay late in his office at the university over being bombarded with memories at the cold, sterile condo he lived in.

Now with you back in the condo and the addition of Mary, and even Fred, the condo was quickly becoming the place that Frank wanted to be. He adjusted his office hours at the university, mostly so he could take Mary to her therapy appointments, but also so he could spend time with the two of you.

Losing his sister had made him realize that he had been a fool to let you go without a fight. Thanks to a few therapy sessions, he had an idea of where things had gone wrong and he was determined to fix them.

Step one was spending more time with you, and Mary.

Step two was proving that he still loved you.

Step three was proving that the two of you couldn't live without each other.

Step four was getting you to fall in love with him again.

Step five was recommitting yourselves to each other.

He was going to do it.

————

You were looking through your list of text messages for something for work when you saw Frank's sister's name and guilt flooded you at the message next to it.

Promise me you'll never give up on him.

The two of you had been catching up, just days before the accident, and she'd sent that message and you hadn't replied.

"I'm sorry," you whispered to her spirit. "I should have replied, I was just scared."

Despite the awkward situation of being a sister-in-law and friend, she'd been as supportive as she could. She never pressured you for information, but was always willing to listen when you needed to talk to someone who understood Frank as well as you did, if not better.

"You're probably laughing up there," you muttered. Not over being gone from her daughter, of course, but over forcing her brother and you back together with no option but to spend lots of time together.

To Frank's credit, things were different now than they had been before you'd walked away. He was more attentive and, while he wasn't overzealous with his emotions, he wasn't as stoic as he had been before. There was not a single night that he sent Mary to bed without telling her that he loved her.

The changes you saw in him, made your heart hurt a little less each day and gave you a little more hope that things would all work out in the end.

"I promise," you whispered. "I won't give up on him."

————

It took six months of hard work, but Frank successfully got through the first four steps of his plan to get you back. It hadn't been as simple as he originally outlined, at least not after he'd let you in on the plan and you'd made your own suggestions. But in the end, the two of you had made it to the other side stronger than ever.

On the anniversary of the day you walked away from him, the two of you decided to renew your vows in a spur of the moment ceremony with just you guys and Mary in the backyard of the house you'd purchased together.

Mary insisted upon you both dressing up and said she'd take care of the wedding vows, which turned out to be a pair of wedding themed mad libs that she had gotten you both to fill out under the guise of being bored.

Needless to say, the intimate ceremony had been perfect, even though you and Frank had been crying from hysterical laughter rather than the normal emotions associated with weddings.

But finally, once you had all calmed down, you and Frank had sealed the crazy vows with a kiss.

#navy and roo’s sleepover #theycallmebecca #theycallmebeccawrites #frank adler #frank adler fanfiction #frank adler fanfic #frank adler fan fiction #frank adler x you #frank adler x female reader #frank adler x y/n #Becca writes drabbles

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storee-stories · 7 months

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Road Trip to Nowhere

This is a spiel about my journey through school as a gifted kid turned ‘failure’.

For context, in The Land Down Under (Australia), you need to rack up hours of logged driving to get off your learner’s permit where a person with a full licence must accompany you every time you drive. Whenever I mention “hours”, I mean getting logged time to be able to get to do the driving test!

TW: mentions of car crashes, near misses, etc. Nothing graphic (although there’s one part that was a punch in the face to reread after forgetting about this for 2 years lol)

Unedited, lazy, old work… idk just read it. If it makes sense it makes sense ig whatever

I feel like I’m on a road trip.

Driving through life, changing speeds, turning corners

People I’ve met along the way in the back seats, screaming, laughing, conversing

Enjoying themselves while I keep my eyes on the road

I feel like I’m on a road trip

Making sure everyone in the back seats stay happy and content while I drive

Never taking my eyes off of what’s far in front of me

Looking for all the things my parents taught me when I was learning

“Keep your eyes on the peripherals, just in case something happens”

“Don’t worry, you’re going to have an accident eventually. It won’t be too bad, I’m sure”

“Keep your speed up, you’re doing so well, keep going!”

“Just keep going, we’re almost there, then we’ll all be happy, and you will too!”

I feel like I’m on a road trip

Where every shoulder has glass, providing only a small path that I can go

Where every pothole or piece of debris feels like the end of the world for the car and the people in the back

Where every passing car seems to be heading in the right direction, not my direction

I feel like I’m on a road trip

With my eyes, black dabbed beneath them, slowly starting to close, exhaustion breaking in

“Are you ok?”

“They’re fine! We’re almost there, right? How much further?”

“Only a few more kilometers,” my parents say, “then we turn left for the next leg. You’ll make it, right?”

“Um, I’m not sure… I’m getting tired-”

“But that’s such a large portion of hours wasted! You’ll be fine, you just gotta keep going. We believe in you, you haven’t struggled before!”

The kilometers drag on. Most people have gotten off at different places, now only certain people remain. Usually adults.

I keep pushing through, keeping every yawn, every anxious tear, down as to not make my parents upset.

I’m supposed to be able to get through it, right? They didn’t care when I said I was tired last time, why would they now?

With a white-knuckled grip, and wide eyes, I forced myself to keep driving

I feel like I’m on a road trip

That I’ve been driving on for too long,

My attention beginning to slip, and periods of time go unnoticed and irrecoverable to my mind

I stopped remembering how long I had been driving, like I had logged out

I liked logging out, it made it easier to bear the strain and exhaustion I was carrying

The problem came when I logged back on

“What are you doing, get back in your lane!” My mother screamed

I swerved to avoid a massive truck that narrowly missed us. When had I gone over the line?

“What was that? You can’t let that happen again, you nearly got us hurt, I’m so scared!”

“Sorry…”

“Sorry isn’t good enough, you say it all the time. Just don’t do it again. You usually never do stuff like that, get it together!” My father said

I feel like I’m on a road trip

Seemingly never ending, to get to one destination, and then inevitably come back

It’s really no wonder I feel so tired, and why I’m struggling. Avoiding those potholes and that debris on the road used all my energy in the first part of the journey, and because I’ve had no rest, I’ve lost focus and become more complacent.

But because my parents are constantly hovering over me, expecting me to do my best all the time, and not suspecting something else is causing these lapses, I’m not willing to admit something is wrong and I need to stop.

Because they won’t approve.

I feel like I’m on a road trip

Where all the trees and flowers fly swiftly past

Where the black bitumen stretches for miles

Where my eyes struggle to stay focussed in the dark night

A road trip where I’ve been driving for too long

Ignoring the “Take a Break” signs posted on the sides of the road

Where I’m slowly losing control

Where I’m slowly losing consciousness

“I was on a road trip,” I say, tears constricting my throat.

“And I think I fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of fire crackling and someone screaming for me to get out…”

“Why didn’t you take a break from driving? A learner should know their limits.”

“I wasn’t allowed to.”

“Who said you weren’t allowed to?”

“…my parents.”

“So you didn’t stop to take a much needed rest, just because your parents said you didn’t need to?”

“…yes.” It sounds stupid. So stupid. From an outside perspective, it looks ridiculous. Allowing your parents to put your life and their life on the line for some hours of driving?

“Kid, do you know who was in the other car?”

“Huh?”

“The other car,” said the man, “the one over there?”

He pointed to a wrecked suv, on it’s side, fluids, glass and metal strewn everywhere. Pieces that had been cut laid next to it.

“No…”

“There was a family of 4 in there. A child, a teenager, and two parents.”

I just stared. It didn’t seem real.

“Only 2 survived, a child and the father.”

I just stood there. No tears, no overwhelming fear… I feel tired.

“The child, the teen, and the mother. You know them, correct?”

I feel tired. “Yes.”

“Well, now you don’t”

I turned to him, caught off guard. He had already left, though.

He was walking away, towards the countless lights and sirens bouncing around the road.

I feel like I’m on a road trip

Gone horribly wrong

I looked around.

I feel like I should be searching for something, something important

Nothing comes to mind immediately.

“I wonder how Banjo is right now.”

I don’t know why my mind went to the golden scruff of our dog

Rather than my mother

Or my father

Or my friends

Or the other family

But it did

“He probably misses us.”

He doesn’t know any better

I think that’s why

Why my brain went to him rather than the people I hurt

Because, unlike the people around me

Banjo was the only one that hadn’t hurt someone

He’s the only soul that held absolutely no hate

He had done nothing in his short life to make anyone upset

Happiness following the clinking of his collar and tag

Unlike the people of the other car

And my car

My car had people who had uttered words that forever dented and scratched someone’s soul

Most of those words were towards me

And if not me, people around me

People, who I used my torn skin to stretch, and protect them with

I had even protected them from each other, in some cases

My car was filled with so much hate

Hate and ill will towards anyone

Of course I could assume the other car had hurt carried inside it, too

I knew them, after all

And, while it’s cruel, maybe the crash wasn’t too bad for them after all

I feel like I was on a road trip

Steered by my parents to result in failure

Which I was blamed for

Because I was naive enough,

as a child with adult responsibilities,

To listen to them and not force my boundaries

“I was on a road trip”

I reiterate to the hundredth person

“I was travelling, I fell asleep, we crashed.

“I understand that it was ridiculous of me to continue driving while tired but you have to understand-“

“We understand enough” they say

Their eyes glistened with hatred pointed at me

And sadness pointed within

“We’ll let you get some rest, which you obviously need, and we’ll continue tomorrow”

They treat me like a child

Obviously guilty for something silly

Except that silly thing

Ruined lives

And somehow

It’s my fault

For the failure of my guides

#writing #school #gifted kid burnout #gifted kid syndrome #gifted kid things #gifted kid problems #gifted kid turned failure #academic validation #academic failure #low effort

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redroyalblues · 8 months

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listened to my rwrb playlist tonight so i’m just gonna… spitball some thoughts into the tumblr sphere in case anyone like. enjoys the lyric tie-ins and such. but this is mostly my venting about random songs i like and think about firstprince to, so:

all-american bitch just straight up is about alex. “just like a goddamn kennedy i swear” “i don’t get angry when i’m pissed, i’m the eternal optimist” are just like what i imagine his entire thought process is behind being someone who has to be on all the time and their best self or else the entire country goes to shit. and “all the time :) i’m grateful all the fucking time :) i’m sexy and i’m kind :) i’m pretty when i cry :)” is just straight up an acd people pleaser mantra

alex claremont-diaz the kinda bitch to be obsessed with cool for the summer for a long ass time and then realize exactly why like five years later

THE VERY FIRST NIGHT BY TSWIFT… OKAY. “i remember the night in the hotel, i was riding in the car when we both fell, i’m the one on the phone as you whisper, “do you know how much i miss you?” what more can i say honestly

on that note. PAPER RINGS!! this is such a henry’s sappy ass song it’s not even funny. “went home and tried to stalk you on the internet, now i’ve read all of the books beside your bed” is just a reminiscent thought that he has had before idk. “i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” exactly EXACTLY

i feel like henry had a tumblr phase as a teen where he went incognito and was very passionate about the arctic monkeys and other 2010s tumblr interests therefore in my head he listens to i wanna be yours and thinks of our beloved first son

but his fav is david bowie so i know he listens to young americans and “young american, young american, i want the young american” gets stuck out of context and on repeat in his head

nonsense by sabrina carpenter 🤭🤭 i’ve talked about my thoughts on this being a song alex would have loved in rwrb-2020 before but it bears repeating. “think i only want one number in my phone, i might change your contact to don’t leave me alone / you said you like my eyes and you like to make ‘em roll / treat me like a queen, now you’ve got me feeling thrown” long lyric but alex would twirl his hair kick his feet giggle over it being exactly the way he feels and i love that for him

first verse of strawberry blond by mitski. that is all

another taylor song but PARIS. this was like a formative firstprince song for me. if you haven’t listened to it please do and then come back and scream about it with me. “privacy sign on the door, and on my page, and on the whole world / romance is not dead if you keep it just yours” and “i want to transport you to somewhere the culture’s clever / confess my truth in swooping, sloping cursive letters / let the only flashing lights be the tower at midnight” OK?????

physical by dua lipa is another just really random song i feel like i just Know alex enjoys

finally, go your own way by fleetwood mac. alex listened to that shit on repeat for the entire flight to london after henry left the lake house and i will fight for that opinion “if i could, baby i’d give you my world / how can i, when you won’t take it from me?”

#rwrb #red white & royal blue #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #as previous me said of alex:#bc i know that bitch was listening to the lover album all of rwrb 2020 #to my new followers today i give you this random ass post tomorrow who knows #there may be more on another day but y’all are safe for now

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

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gotham’s on its own, now.

Titans 3.10

moving onwards! we’re back to the core team (hopefully) in this episode, at a delicious cliffhanger at the end of 3.08, so i have High Hopes

as always, typing this up as i watch the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. this opening scene is so deliciously bizarre. is that dick in his old hospital room brooding at the snellen chart that he hallucinated about? is dick astral projecting? is that a future dick? a dead dick?

i just know we’re not going to get answers and i love it and i hate it and i love it.

2. not sure why barbara’s being put on the spot over the situation since as a police commissioner she wouldn’t really have the power to fix the issues with the pipes and the toxin? maybe gotham is a city so overrun by police that they’re looked to for every issue that comes up. it’s bizarre though.

2.25. also not a fan of how barbara’s authority is repeatedly undercut--especially by other nameless men--and how she defers to dick when she was (rightfully) furious at him just a few episodes ago for making rash plans and, well, undermining her authority!

what’s dick grayson to the gcpd anyway? he’s bruce wayne’s son and an ex-cop from detroit who hasn’t been in one in nearly a year. why in the world are they ok with him consulting in this case and dragging the commissioner’s attention away from a crucial matter? ronnie from schitt’s creek, why???

2.45. dick complains of “brain fog from the accident”. AHA! not to mention unspecified chest/back trauma from being slammed into a car at high speed, and a gunshot wound from before that. take a nap, grayson. i see shitty decision-making in your future.

3. oh gawd, it’s the scarecrow again. do we have to listen to him talk? i hate his character so much.

3.25. “you fucked it up--they were about to take me back!” at first blush this seems like jason genuinely regrets that he couldn’t reconcile with the titans, but his demeanour makes me think that he wanted to plant himself among them. i don’t know. i think he’s playing a balancing game with the options he does have: he’s not ready or secure enough to strike out on his own, and the door to the titans seems closed for now. all he’s got is scarecrow and he can’t risk completely alienating the guy.

3.5. all that big talk about Edward Bernays and the power of an Idea and he releases a... Boomer Facebook ad?

it seems utterly over-the-top and ridiculous, but i guess in a charged situation like now, and in a city like gotham... with the right suggestions wrapped in the right kind of context, well.

3.75. maaaaan i have a feeling i’m going to be in the minority here, but i feel for dick and barbara so much here. especially when barbara says “even when things were at their worst, gotham trusted batman and my dad.” neither of them really wanted this legacy though on paper they’re the ones best suited for it. and now that they’ve taken charge, things have shattered so beyond their control that now the legacy is a source of guilt. you have to fix it--it’s hard to think of anything else, be it friends or family or yourself.

at the end there’s just... burnout. giving up.

3.8. (who’s projecting? shut up, you’re projecting.)

4. “one river, many wells”... oh i see what you’re doing, Show. :/ there just happened to be a lazarus well in gotham, sure.

5. i have loved every single gotham taxi driver on this show and i demand a spinoff based on them.

6. i thought this anti-fear toxin was only supposed to remove your inhibitions, not turn you into a stereotypical zombie. it’s perfectly possible that some people are going to do terrible and reckless things that don’t involve fighting, like make ruinous financial decisions or bake bare-handed or try parkour on a multi-storey building. honestly, that would’ve made for a much more interesting aftermath.

6.5. “the worst of it is over”??? are we going to do something for the tens of thousands of people poisoned by this toxin, even the ones you brutally beat down? withdrawal facilities, medical support, anything?

7. i love how titans loves to give everybody mind-bending powers at a whim. so now lydia can just teleport whomever she wants to some ethereal “training ground”? what’s next?

the way this show’s building up the rules of its universe, time and space and the mind and soul are interlinked and constantly bleeding into each other; it’s providing a framework for every deus ex machina to come.

8. so they meet in a bar. while there’s a city wide zombie crisis going on and the literal water from their taps is poison. taking away police resources when they’re stretched thin. taking a shot of absinthe after admitting that you’re still experiencing post headinjury “brain fog”. i know, i know.

the bad decisions are just beginning.

8.5. hmmmm. you know, i can just about see where dick is coming from with the idea to have nightwing surrender to the gcpd--this is now a PR battle, after all, and making a big, public gesture is a good move. but dick, it’s not the police that gotham has lost trust in (any more than usual anyway) but in you and your team. you were in a precarious position anyway even before scarecrow’s video as a brand new team in a city that’s used to its larger-than-life heroes and villains; now is the time to go big, to show that you care for the city. maybe by working hard on an antidote to the toxin. maybe by using WE resources to medically treat the poisoned. maybe by providing clean drinking water from outside the city. honestly there are so many options.

but dick’s not thinking straight, is he? he’s thinking about saving barbara’s image. he wants her employees to trust her again because he just can’t let go of his guilt and his tendency to throw himself on the cross at the slightest shift of the wind. he’s still obsessed with the idea of penance, not realising how much it would affect the people around him.

8.9 and honestly we complain about dick making dumbass decisions but that’s the point? the show is not justifying these decisions by making them work out; they keep backfiring on him until he learns the lesson he really needs to learn. victory is in self-actualisation; not strategy or training or fancy weapons or martial arts moves.

9. fuck off, crane.

9.5. it’s obvious he doesn’t quite have jason in his thrall now, and it’s quite possible he’s begun to misread and underestimate him as well. jason wants purpose, true, but not for power or legacy; it’s for safety and guidance.

10. i’m disappointed, but not surprised, to see the rest of the team agree with dick to surrender themselves. nobody had other suggestions or even opposition--not even gar, who has so far been the most sensible of the bunch.

i can believe kory’s own guilt over being the one manipulated into blowing up the pipes that led to this whole crisis pushing her to agree with dick’s decision, but we’ve spent zero time lingering over her feelings on the matter, so that’s a huge opportunity wasted isn’t it?

(oh, i just remembered! what happened to Hot Psychiatrist Guy? has she spoken to him again? Show, if you tell me you’re just going to drop that thread i swear--)

10.5. “as a team, as a family.” well, this is one dysfunctional fucking family.

there’s still a weird level of deference to dick that i both understand and don’t understand at all. he’s the one with the most training, the most experience under his belt as a hero after all; he’s the one who stepped up to lead and so he’s the leader. but he’s also clearly unwell and has been for a while. his leadership last year was a fucking disaster and though he’s been much better this year, he’s still closeted and self-sacrificial and under stress, utterly reckless and self-absorbed. the team’s continued reliance on him as a leader despite all of this is bad not just for them, but for dick too.

11. “you were born not just to protect people, donna, but to lead them.” huh. just as i was talking about dick taking a break from being the leader...

12. wait, is that the police guy...?

“say it. say my name.”

“uh... red mask? scarface? motor voice? oh, oh, oh! toothless! because of the, uh, no, uh, mouth line on the mask? ... hey, hey, hey, now put the gun down--”

13. why do they keep repeating “this is just for show” and “optics” in front of all the police officers? remember, they’re trying not just to rehabilitate barbara’s image in the eyes of gotham, but also in the rest of her force, who think she’s been too chummy/lenient towards the titans.

13.5. *siiiigh* well. that went downhill fast. and predictably so. again, barbara has frustratingly little power... (though that could just mean she’s in the wrong profession). a stunningly bad decision all around.

a bad decision going demonstrably sideways i think says more about where the characters are than the quality of the writing at that stage, imo. not to say that titans is well-written (even i can’t compel myself to say that).

13.8. wait whaaaaaat. kom has kory’s powers now????

13.9. oh, kory. she looks exhausted... defeated. the guilt around being a possible catalyst for this crisis, the shock of losing her powers, her growing horror that her sister might’ve deceived her in order to steal her powers, the utter despair that is their carefully crafted plan utterly falling apart...

i wish we had just as enough time in kory’s head as we do in dick’s to really explore these feelings and pick them apart.

14. sooooooooooo barbara’s in jail. holy fuck.

15. i guess i was hoping for a more emotional reunion between rachel and the rest of the titans, but eh. there’s a crisis on. i guess i can excuse a bit of an anti-climax... for now. (though i’m sure they’d want me to call it understated.)

16. dick’s reached the burnout stage, i see.

and i’m sorry, the police know that the titans are based out of wayne manor? then from there it’s a very, very small leap--infinitesimal, really--to figuring out that dick grayson is nightwing and bruce wayne is batman. and speaking of batman, do we know what this guy is doing after a fucking suicide attempt????

and there are only three episodes left?????

good god.

17. also: fuck off, crane.

#titans #meta #dick grayson #koriand'r #garfield logan #donna troy #barbara gordon #jason todd #a byronic cupcake #badass strawberry truffle #manic pixie pop tart #a tragic jalebi

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soldrawss · 4 years

Note

pls grace us with those headcanons of the human turtle bois 🥺

OK ok ok ok ok okokokokokokok I’m so fucking glad you asked because I’ve been wanting an excuse to talk about my boys for AGES now. Here and here a post I did a little while ago about how the boys came into custody with Yoshi, but I’m gonna talk about when they’re older and teens since that’s fun! Pictures of them as teens, for context, are here and here.

So they’re technically all half brothers, except for Raph and Mikey cause I wanted that relationship for them.

Raph is the oldest, at 16. Donnie and Leo are the same age, though they aren't twins, at 15. Mikey is 13. I wanted to make Mikey a little younger than the rest of them because he’s baby

Raph and Mikey are half Ghanaian, Donnie is half Italian, and Leo is half Cuban.

Yoshi still works as movie/action star Lou Jitsu, and it was Yoshi’s wish to keep his boys out of the spotlight as much as possible, so they could keep normal lives. So as far as all their schoolmates and teachers know, the Hamoto’s dad just runs a dojo on Prospect Avenue. Which is partially true, actually, and the boy’s current living place is above said dojo)

Mikey likes to express himself in the way he looks, so he’s always dying his hair and wearing bright and colorful clothing and jewelry. His favorite thing to wear is Raph’s giant sweaters, which he steals on a daily basis because he knows he can get away with it. Raph only complains about it half the time.

When Yoshi finally agreed to let Mikey get his ears pierced at age 10, Mikey was excited but secretly terrified to do it. Leo knew Mikey wanted to do it, but understood that it was scary to do it alone, so he volunteered to get his ears pierced too, using the excuse that it could be ‘their’ brother thing they did. Mikey was of course, ecstatic, and Leo didn’t mind the weird looks the other 12-year-old boys gave him on his little league team. Cause Mikey’s been parading the biggest smile on his face for the past week now, and if he’d known that it would've made the kid that happy, Leo would have gotten matching earrings years ago. (Now Leo goes with Mikey every time he gets his ears pierced. It’s sort of a fun bonding thing they get to do, and both of them enjoy the one-on-one time they get with each other.)

Even though Donnie is only a sophomore, he’s also taking concurrent classes at the local college that’s only a few blocks down the street, and even though he loves learning and is a literal little evil genius, he also hates the American education system, and actually got quite a bit of bad grades growing up before he had to teach himself how to perform and present his work the way the school could grade him properly on.

The only reason he doesn’t skip a grade or two, which he easily could if he took the aptitude tests some of his teachers try to get him to take every year, is because he doesn’t want to be separated from Leo.

Donnie has 4 sets of glasses at home because he’s constantly breaking them. Either from failed experiments or from getting into fights with schoolyard bullies and kids from his robotics class. (He and Raph both definitely have temper issues, and while Raph works really hard to keep his in check with breathing and physical exercise, Donnie just fully gives in to his, like a short live wire)

All the boys know a good amount of martial arts from Yoshi, though they’re never allowed to use it outside the dojo unless it’s specifically called for, (like a mugging or as self-defense) and are never allowed to use their weapons without Yoshi present. (though, Yoshi goes away a lot to California to shoot his movies, so the boys are left home alone a lot. And when dad’s away, the boys will play. Raph is pretty good about making sure the weapons never leave their home or dojo, but sometimes Leo and Mikey will try to knock down soda cans in the kitchen with throwing stars, and as long as nothing gets broken or too damaged in the process, Raph thinks it's fine)

Leo is extremely sporty, and while all the boys have their own hobbies they like to do (Mikey with his art and theatre classes, Donnie with his robotics and science olympiad teams, and Raph with his boxing club) it’s Leo who shines in the sports clubs. His favorites are Baseball and Basketball. He used to do soccer with Mikey when they were little, but he didn’t like the contact of it so much, and there was really no point to continue playing it after Mikey quit. (Leo is fast and scrappy when he wants to be, but he respects himself and his body was too much to try and play a contact sport like football. Plus, all the guys on the high school teams are jerks anyway, so Leo doesn’t even bother with them.)

Raph has always been a big and strong guy, even when he was a kid, he was always bigger and broader than most of the kids his age, and this trend didn’t stop in middle or high school. He got recruited to be in wrestling and football a LOT, but he has a bad knee due to a car accident when he was young (also the reason behind all the scars on his body) and can’t put too much pressure on it for too long without wrecking it. So he takes up boxing, which he absolutely loves. It’s a good way for him to keep his energy up and get a good workout in without hurting his knee, and it also helps him keep his anger in check. Whenever anything stressful or anxiety-inducing comes around, a few rounds with the training dummies and punching bags in the dojo do well to clear his mind and work out some of those microaggressions.

The boys don’t have a whole lot of actual friends. Sure they have friends in their classes or clubs, but none of them they would consider a best friend, quite like they would consider April a best friend. She’s special. She’s the only one who gets all the perks.

They met April on a playground, like, 5 years ago, when some kids were making fun of Leo’s vitiligo, and she essentially swooped in and defended him and scarred the bullies off. Boom. Instant best friend forever. She’s also the only one that knows that Yoshi is actually Lou Jitsu. (she learned by accident, but she swore to eternal secrecy, so it’s cool)

Leo is allergic to shellfish. (Don’t know why this needed to be stated but it did)

Mikey’s the only one who has ever been suspended from school. (It was just a three-day suspension but still)

Donnie has a bad back from leaning over his computer and desk so much while working, that sometimes he has to wear a back brace and just lie flat on the ground for a few hours to stretch it out (Sometimes he just forgoes these steps and just continues to wok through the pain. Leo and Mikey have to physically threaten to get Raph to sit on him for him to actually try and take care of himself)

Mikey has a scar on his upper back from the same car accident when Raph and he were young. It doesn’t hurt and he forgets it’s there most of the time.

They technically have two places they stay at. When their dad is in town and home from a movie shoot, they live in a penthouse suite in Batter Park City. They all have their own rooms there. But when their dad is away, they choose to live in the apartment above the Lou Jitsu Dojo that’s closer to their school and clubs, in Brooklyn. (That apartment is smaller, but the boys like the comfort it brings and prefer that one. Mikey and Leo share one room, while Raph and Donnie share the other)

When their father is away, they have a nanny that lives right next door, who’ve they affectionately call Piebald, due to her ginger hair and her giant koi fish tank set up in her living room. (Piebald had been their nanny ever since the boys were little kids, and she’s practically like a big sister to them)

#rottmnt #tmnt #rottmnt human #tmnt human #rottmnt human au #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #this will just be known as my human au for now #because i don't know what to call it otherwise #but yeah i love this au so much #and i love the boys dearly #these are the basics #i can't think of any other specific hcs other than these #but if you have more questions about them please ask #i love talking about this au and the boys #<3

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osamiiya · 4 years

Text

"I'm sorry, you're too late." Kageyama x reader

Requested by @aonenthusiast

Prompts: #7: "I'm sorry, you're too late" 16: "I'm sorry, she didn't make it." 20: "Hey it's me, it's pretty lame that I'm leaving these (voice) messages when I know you won't see them." 21: "I miss you, I wish my last words weren't so harsh."

A/n: I kind of combined #7 and 16 bc I this context they kind of are the same, I hope you don't mind

Type of fic: Angst

TW// Death

Omiomi's 100 follower event

"I just don't understand why you won't open up to me more Kageyama, Christ's sake we've been married for over a year, and it's like I never see you."

"I have a job y/n. Something I'm actually passionate about unlike you and your complaining."

Venomous words got thrown back and forth, piercing the other like darts.

"You agreed to this when you agreed to marry me." It was annoying how calm he was, he had passed the point of yelling already, infuriating you more as you screamed at him.

"I don't know why I agreed. I thought something would change, that if I was your wife maybe you'd make an effort."

"Then leave." The atmosphere froze, both parties wide eyed at the two words that held more impact than ever.

You wipe your tears and grab your coat.

"Maybe I will." You rip your ring off and throw it at him, opening the door and slamming it behind you.

Kageyama sighed, this had been happening a lot lately, as much as he wanted to stay home and spend time with you, the world of professional volleyball was demanding.

One...two...three hours ticked by when he got a sudden call, he raced to his phone expecting you to be calling, maybe the two of you would be ok after all. His heart filled with disappointment at the unknown number. He cleared his voice and answered.

"Hello-

"Is this Kageyama Tobio? Sir this is Tokyo general hospital, your wife was in a big accident, her car flipped you need to come as soon as-"

Kageyama was already in the street screaming for a taxi, he didn't trust his usually steady hands, now shaking violently, to drive.

"I'm on my way." He couldn't sit still, he couldn't think.

'No, it's the wrong Y/n Kageyama. My y/n is at her mother's house in Tokyo.' It repeated like a mantra up until he saw you in the surgical room, getting there right at the heartbeat moniter flatlined.

His ears and throat felt like they were stuffed with cotton.

"I'm sorry, she didn't make it." The doctor's voice sounded far away, he could barely make it out.

He collapsed on the floor, feeling the bile rise up as he emptied his stomach onto the hospital floor, nurses buzzing around with various forms of "Sir? Are you all right sir?"

Kageyama relives that day every night in his nightmares, even a year later after continuous visits from his high school friends offering condolences.

He couldn't stay at your funeral, guilt eating him up as his mind relayed the last conversation he had with you.

"Hey, it's me. It's pretty lame that I'm leaving voice mails on your phone when I know you won't pick up." His voice catches and he continues.

"I miss you." His voice comes out whiney as he tries not to cry.

"And I wish my last words to you weren't so harsh."

He continued calling your phone, listening to your voicemail, your voice in his ear every night. It became part of his routine, he would tell you about his day, some service ace serve he got, how he ran into Hinata in a bar bathroom.

Kageyama wasn't prepared for the day someone picked up.

"Hello?"

He feels sick.

"I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number."

#omiomi 100 follower event #Kageyama #kageyama tobio #Kageyama imagine #Kageyama angst #Kageyama x reader #Kageyama scenario #haikyuu angst #haikyuu!!#tw death

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btsqualityy · 4 years

Text

Scripted: Part 9

Namjoon x Reader; Jimin x Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, President!Namjoon, Head of Security!Jimin

Warnings: (Reluctant) open relationship, mentions of cheating, fingering

Author’s Note: If you’ve been following me for a year or more, you guys know that I always upload something on my birthday so here you go! Here’s an extra long part 9 to make up for how short part 8 was and the Italics indicate a flashback! I hope you guys enjoy it!!

When you woke up the next morning, you were in a bed that was in a room that you didn’t recognize. You sat up, stretching your arms out as everything that happened the day before came rushing back to you. The last thing that you remembered though, was coming to Jimin’s apartment and falling asleep cuddled up to him.

Using the context clues, you figured that you were in Jimin’s room since you saw several photos of Jimin’s brother and niece around the room, as well as some of an older couple that you assumed to be his parents. Pulling the duvet off of your body, you climbed out of his bed and walked out of the bedroom and into the hallway. You were able to hear the telltale sound of bacon cooking so you followed the sounds and smells into the kitchen, where Jimin was standing in front of the stove.

“Hey,” you spoke up, making Jimin jump in surprise as he looked over his shoulder.

“Good morning,” he smiled as he recovered and you walked further into the kitchen in order to stand next to him. “Hungry?”

“Not really,” you shrugged, not feeling like you had much of an appetite.

“Well, I’m making bacon and pancakes, in case you do decide that you’re hungry,” Jimin told you and you nodded. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah, I did actually,” you replied. “That’s your room, right?”

“It is.”

“Where’d you sleep then?”

“On the couch,” Jimin replied as he grabbed a plastic spatula, flipping one of the pancakes that was in one of the pans on the stove. “This is only a one-bedroom apartment.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you scolded him lightly. “I’m the one who barged over here.”

“You didn’t barge over here, I invited you,” Jimin chuckled. “And you’re my guest so you automatically get the comfy place.”

“Well, thank you,” you smiled and before you could overthink it, you leaned over and kissed his cheek, letting your lips linger on his skin for a few seconds before you pulled away. He looked over at you with a small smirk, before the sound of the bacon frying in it’s pan became overwhelming.

“How about you go sit at the island over there while I get this food done,” Jimin suggested as he gestured to it with his free hand. “And then I’ll fix you a small plate.”

“I don’t know if I’ll eat it all,” you admitted.

“That’s ok, just eat whatever you can manage,” he told you and you nodded before turning around and walking over to the large island that divided the kitchen and the living room, taking a seat on one of the stools that was pushed against it. You set your elbows on top of the island and then placed your chin in your hands, watching silently as Jimin moved around the kitchen trying to finish breakfast.

About 10 minutes later, he was done and he walked over to the island carrying two plates, setting one down in front of you before taking a seat on the stool next to you.

“This looks amazing,” you complimented, staring down at the plate that was covered with two pancakes, a few strips of bacon, and some strawberries as well. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Jimin shrugged as he dug into his own plate, not wasting any time in eating his food. “I figured you could use it after everything that happened yesterday.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, cutting into your pancakes and taking a bite. “It still doesn’t feel like everything that happened yesterday, actually happened. You know?”

“I get it,” Jimin replied. “I had a lot of those days in the Navy.”

“And I’m just so...angry,” you added.

“Do you think that maybe you’re ready to explain all of this to me?” Jimin wondered and you looked over at him, and he held his hands up in mock surrender. “You said later.”

“And it’s later,” you finished for him with a chuckle, setting down your fork and knife before turning the stool so that you were able to look at him head on. “Should I start from the beginning?”

“It’d help,” Jimin agreed as he took another bite of his pancake.

“Ok so like I told you yesterday, Namjoon and Hyejin had dated for most of high school and the very beginning of college before Namjoon broke it off with her,” you said. “Namjoon and I met the next semester, in an intro political science class.”

“Did you two start dating soon after?” Jimin asked and you shook your head.

“Actually, me and Namjoon were just really close friends for the first few months of us knowing each other,” you told him. “He was still pretty butt hurt about the whole breakup with Hyejin and I wasn’t looking for a relationship because I was too focused on getting my degree. A few months into us being close though, my parents died in a car accident.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that Y/N-ah,” Jimin sighed, reaching over and setting his hand on your knee.

“It’s ok,” you assured him, setting your hand on top of his and you couldn’t help but to smile when he flipped his hand over and intertwined his fingers with yours. “After that, I was pretty much on my own since I’m an only child and don’t have any other immediate family so I just kind of..attached myself to Namjoon more. He didn’t mind though,” you chuckled as you thought back to your college days. “He may not seem like it, but he was a big softie back then and he’d almost faint if I did something as simple as hold his hand.”

“That’s cute,” Jimin laughed.

“So we started dating officially and once we graduated college, Namjoon proposed to me and we got married,” you continued. “I managed to go to law school, pass the bar, and establish my law firm while Namjoon began his political career and things were good for the first three years of our marriage.”

“When did things start to change?” Jimin questioned.

“When he made the official announcement that he was going to be running for President,” you responded. “After that, he was gone more often, giving speeches and meeting people, so we barely saw each other. Things happened and our marriage just kind of started to....crumble, in terms of communication.”

“Is that when he cheated with Hwasa the first time?” Jimin guessed and you nodded.

“It was like a month before the election and I caught the two of them in our bed, just like I did yesterday,” you laughed ruefully. “Ironic right?”

“I was thinking more like disrespectful but whatever works,” Jimin shrugged.

“I tried to kick her ass but Namjoon wouldn’t let me get to her,” you huffed. “After that, I was ready to leave him. I had packed up all of my shit and I was ready to just....walk away.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Namjoon’s father, Kim Sang-hoon.”

............................

You were in your and Namjoon’s old house, packing up the last of your belongings so that you could take it over to Momo’s house, which is where you had been staying ever since you’d caught your husband in bed with his ex-girlfriend.

As you were putting the last few of your knick knacks into a cardboard box, you heard the doorbell ring. You had hoped that it wasn’t Namjoon, who you had texted before coming back to the house and explicitly told him not to come back until you texted him that you were gone because you didn’t want to see him. However, you realized that Namjoon wouldn't ring the doorbell since he had a key. Leaving your box on the bed, you walked out of the bedroom and into the front hall, walking over to the door and pulling it open.

“Sang-hoon,” you said in surprise and Sang-hoon nodded his head to you.

“Hello Y/N-ah,” he smiled.

“Hi,” you bowed, greeting him properly before holding the door open. “Please come in.” Sang-hoon thanked you before stepping inside and you shut the door behind him. “Can I get you some tea or anything?”

“No thank you Y/N-ah,” he declined. “I actually came here to talk to you.”

“I have to admit, I’m not sure why,” you confessed.

“Namjoon told me about what happened,” Sang-hoon announced and you sighed as you crossed your arms over your chest.

“And you’re here to try to get me to take him back?” You guessed.

“Ah, think of it more as a...proposition,” Sang-hoon replied and you raised an eyebrow at him. “Can we sit?”

“Sure,” you nodded, gesturing into the living room. The two of you walked into the living room, you sitting down on the couch while Sang-hoon sat down in one of the armchairs.

“So, I know that you’re upset and hurting,” Sang-hoon started.

“I’m pissed,” you clarified and Sang-hoon held his hands up in mock surrender.

“And that’s completely understandable Y/N-ah,” he assured you. “But I have to ask you, have you thought about what a separation and potential divorce could do to Namjoon’s chances of winning the election?”

“I don’t care,” you chuckled in disbelief. “He cheated on me, and with Hyejin! Out of anyone, I would think that you’d understand. Being as though you were the reason why he broke up with her all those years ago.”

“Trust me, I don’t know why my son went back to that...woman when he has a perfectly suitable wife in you,” Sang-hoon agreed. “But, my son is also a man and he’s his father’s son.”

“So you’re trying to tell me that you’ve cheated on Mi-sook before?” You questioned, referring to Namjoon’s mother.

“Yes, and she knows about it,” Sang-hoon confirmed. “Because we have an agreement.”

“An agreement where you can cheat on your wife?” You shot back.

“It’s not cheating if the marriage is open,” Sang-hoon replied and you just looked at him. “Mi-sook’s and I’s marriage has been open, oh, since about a year after Namjoon was born.”

“That long?” You wondered in awe and Sang-hoon nodded.

“When you’re married to someone in politics, everything becomes a deal of some sorts,” Sang-hoon explained.

“So you’re suggesting that I come up with a ‘deal’ that’s similar to the one that you have with Mi-sook?” You said.

“I figured that it’d be hard for you so I talked to Namjoon and we came up with some basic ground rules,” Sang-hoon told you and your eyes widened. “You can feel free to add your own as well.”

“Are you serious?” You demanded to know. “You really think that I want to stay with him after he’s broken our vows?”

“If you think about it Y/N-ah, it’s really in the best interest of you both.”

“Please, enlighten me.”

“For Namjoon, obviously he wouldn’t have to go through the public embarrassment of a divorce and he’d win the election, which you and I both know he has in the bag otherwise. And as for you, you’ll get to continue living the life to which you have grown accustomed, while also being able to go out and have your own fun.”

“First of all, when Namjoon and I got married, I decided then that I didn’t want to have my own ‘fun’ anymore because I had found my soulmate, or so I thought,” you told him. “And secondly, I don’t need Namjoon’s money or the recognition that would come along with being First Lady. I had a very successful law practice before I gave it up for your son, if you remember correctly.”

“Look Y/N-ah, I just came here to urge you to think about it,” Sang-hoon said as he stood up from the armchair.

“And what if I decide to say fuck you, fuck your son, and leave anyways?” You wondered out of pure curiosity.

“Well, then we’d be force to spin everything to make it look like you were the unfaithful one,” Sang-hoon shrugged. “You know me Y/N-ah, and you know I could ruin your law career if you force my hand. That’s why I came here to talk to you but I can see that you still need a few days to get back into your proper mindset so I’ll see myself out. Have a good rest of your day.”

............................

“So, it was Namjoon’s father who basically manipulated you into that ‘agreement’?” Jimin summed up and you nodded your head.

“After he left, I thought about it and I realized that he was right. Sang-hoon is a decent person but he has some fishy ass associates and I knew that he could make it to where I wouldn’t be able to sustain myself if I opened my practice again,” you explained. “And besides, despite how angry I was at Namjoon, I still loved him and I didn’t want him to lose the election because of me. So I stayed.”

“What were the rules that Sang-hoon had told you about?” Jimin asked.

“Oh, that Namjoon and I were both able to see other people, albeit discreetly, as much as we wanted. Condoms had to be used during any encounter, people that either of us are close to are off-limits, and we’d have to keep up the facade of being happily married for the entirety of Namjoon’s five-year term. I also added the stipulation that Namjoon wasn’t allowed to see or speak to Hyejin anymore too, but that was mostly me being a petty bitch who just wanted something to make me feel better.”

“And he broke that rule,” Jimin supplied.

“He did, and I don’t know what I’m gonna do about it,” you sighed. “I’ll admit, I clung to Namjoon once my parents died partly because I just didn’t want to be alone but now it feels like I’ve gotten myself stuck in a cage that I can’t get out of.”

“Come here,” Jimin said, pulling your hand and pulling you into his chest before he wrapped his arms around you. You allowed yourself to relax against him, wrapping your arms around him as well and allowing him to just hold you.

“Baby bird,” Jimin spoke up suddenly a few minutes later and you pulled away from him just enough so that you could look at him.

“Huh?”

“You know how baby birds are always so eager to fly, even when they don’t know how yet?” Jimin explained and you nodded your head. “You’re like a baby bird who wants to fly away but you just aren’t sure how to yet.”

“That’s....such a good way of describing it,” you smiled softly. “I like it.”

“I’m glad,” Jimin said, leaning forward and kissing your lips softly. When he tried to pull away, you reached up and set one of your hands on his neck, pulling him back to you. He moaned against your lips, placing both of his hands on your cheeks as the two of you kissed for what felt like forever. When you finally pulled away, Jimin had this insanely wide grin on his face.

“How about you finish your breakfast and then we can do something fun?” Jimin suggested and you nodded your head.

“Sounds like a plan,” you agreed, leaning forward to kiss him one last time before turning back to your pancakes.

............................

“Don’t open your eyes.”

“You’re putting something slimy on my face and I don’t want it in my eyes so they’re definitely closed.”

“I’m telling Jung-hee that you called her face mask slimy,” Jimin threatened as he used a small plastic spatula to spread the homemade face mask onto your face. Jimin had come up with the bright idea of doing a face mask in order to help you decompress, and you couldn’t say that you completely hated the idea. So that’s why you were laid out on Jimin’s couch, dressed in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his joggers, with Jimin kneeling on the floor next to you.

“Please don’t,” you begged. “I’m actually genuinely afraid of what would happen if I got on her bad side.”

“I won’t tell her, for the price of a kiss,” Jimin smirked and when you puckered your lips out, Jimin leaned over and pressed a quick peck to your lips. Once you felt him move onto to spreading the mask onto the bottom half of your face, you opened your eyes and looked up at him.

“Can I ask you something?” You wondered.

“Go for it.”

“Are you afraid of this?” You asked and you saw his eyebrow quirk upwards.

“Afraid of what?”

“This..attraction between us, I guess,” you shrugged lamely.

“Not really. Well ok, I take that back,” he corrected himself as he looked down at you. “I am attracted to my boss’s wife, which is literally like the number one thing that I was told not to do when I accepted this job.”

“You were told not to fall for me?”

“I was told not to develop close personal relationships with you or Namjoon,” Jimin told you. “Being too close to someone that you’re protecting can make it hard to do your job effectively.”

“I’ve heard that before,” you nodded.

“Are you afraid of it?” Jimin turned the question back on you.

“No,” you shook your head. “After everything that’s happened, I’m kind of over feeling bad because of Namjoon so I don’t really have any reservations about it.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you’re comfortable with the fact that you like me?” Jimin questioned.

“I am,” you smiled. “Are you comfortable with liking me?”

“More than comfortable,” he assured you and you just watched him as he finished up with your face mask. “Now, we have to let it set for 10 minutes and I have something that we could do while we wait.”

“What’s that?” You wondered.

“Sit up for me,” he requested and you did so, sitting up and swinging your legs around so that you were sitting upright on the couch. Jimin then set his hands on your thighs, squeezing them softly as he kissed you firmly. You instantly responded, reaching up and looping your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer. Soon enough, his lips had moved away from your lips and down to your neck, sucking at the skin there.

“Oh, that feels good,” you moaned softly, tilting your head back in order to give him easier access.

“Yeah?” He murmured huskily, and you almost felt yourself shiver from how much his voice had dropped.

“Mmhmm,” you hummed and Jimin licked a wide stripe up your neck.

“Can I touch you?” He asked.

“You are,” you giggled.

“I know, but I meant more,” he said, moving his hands so that they were tracing the band of the joggers that you had on, and your breath hitched at the feeling of his fingers on the skin of your stomach. “Like here, and lower.”

“It’s been a while,” you admitted sheepishly and Jimin pulled his face out of your neck in order to look at you.

“It’s ok. We don’t have to do anything that you’re not comfortable with,” he promised. “But I would like to make you feel good.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?” He smiled.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I trust you.”

“Good,” he replied, leaning forward and kissing you again. As the two of you made out, one of Jimin’s hands slipped underneath the band of your joggers, his fingertips pressing against the fabric of your panties.

“O-Oh,” you exhaled breathlessly as Jimin gently rubbed over your clothed clit.

“Can I pull them aside?” He whispered against your lips and you nodded wordlessly, giving him permission. He did so, the both of you letting out simultaneous gasps when he touched your clit.

“Damn Y/N-ah,” Jimin grumbled deeply. “You’re so wet.”

“I told you, it’s been a while,” you sighed, enjoying the feeling of him rubbing your clit firmly.

“So fucking pretty,” he mumbled, and it almost seemed as though he was talking to himself and not you. You felt his fingers leave your clit and trail downwards, lightly rubbing the length of your slit. You were working up the courage to ask him to put one inside of you when he took the initiative and just did it, sinking the tip of his middle finger inside of you.

“Oh my God,” you hissed, making Jimin look up at you.

“This ok?” He checked in.

“More than ok,” you chuckled breathlessly. “Feels so good.”

“I’m glad baby,” he whispered and you didn’t miss the term of affection. “God, I’ve been thinking about this for the last two months.”

“Really?” You asked, your eyes fluttering closed as Jimin began to thrust his finger in and out of you.

“Ever since the day that I met you in Namjoon’s office,” Jimin confirmed. “You had on that sexy green sweater dress that shows off your legs, and all I could do was imagine how good they’d look wrapped around me.”

“Jimin,” you gasped, feeling yourself becoming wetter as he fingered you. “Another finger please.”

“Whatever you want,” he smirked, pausing the movements of his middle finger and pushing his pointer finger into you alongside it. You immediately clenched around the digits, and the desire to come became almost overwhelming.

“Give it to me,” you begged, opening your legs wider and hooking your ankles over Jimin’s lower back. “Fuck me Jimin.”

“Fuck, you have no idea how sexy you sound right now,” Jimin grumbled as he began to pump his fingers in and out of you at a steady pace.

“Oh, that’s so good,” you praised him, leaning forward and pressing a sloppy kiss to his mouth as he fucked you.

“You want me to make you come baby bird?” Jimin wondered and you nodded your head rapidly.

“Please, please.”

“Look down and watch me finger fuck you,” he instructed and you did as he said, looking down in between the two of you, where you could see the outline of his fingers moving in and out of your pussy. The sight only turned you on more, and you found yourself moaning louder and louder.

“Please Jimin, don’t fucking stop,” you pleaded. “I’m gonna come.”

“Come all over my fingers baby,” he encouraged and with a few more thrusts of his fingers, that’s exactly what you did. He continued to fuck you through your orgasm, and he didn’t stop until you reached down and grabbed ahold of his wrist.

“Too much,” you chuckled weakly, making Jimin smile fondly at you.

“Good girl,” he told as he pulled his fingers out of you and out of the joggers that you had on. As he brought his hand up, you were slightly embarrassed to see your juices on his fingers but nothing could have prepared you to watch him stick his fingers in his mouth and suck them clean.

“Tastes amazing,” he smirked.

“Shut up,” you groaned playfully, reaching up and pushing his shoulder. “Give me a few minutes to recover and I’ll reciprocate.”

“You don’t have to do that Y/N-ah,” Jimin waved you off. “I just wanted to make you feel good.”

“You sure?” You asked.

“Definitely and besides, it’s been over 10 minutes and there’s no telling what Jung-hee put in this mask besides what’s on the label so we should get it rinsed off,” Jimin smiled. “And then you can shower again. I’ll give you more clothes and everything.”

“Thanks Jimin, for everything,” you told him.

“Anytime,” he replied, leaning forward and kissing you one last time before standing up and helping you off of the couch to go rinse your mask off.

............................

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diyunho · 4 years

Text

The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 2

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

The Joker feels your hand searching around and he knows what you’re looking for: the yellow teddy bear.

“Here Pumpkin,” J gives you the toy that landed on the other side of the bed during the night; a couple minutes pass and his cheek is covered in soft kisses. He opens one eye and you instantly pretend to be asleep.

“I’m onto you, Y/N!” The King of Gotham sneers while you giggle at his affirmation. But as soon as he pecks the scar on your collarbone, your attitude changes.

“No…”, you whimper and cover your face with the sheets.

“I told you before I don’t care about scars,” The Joker tries to reason with you because it happens each time he touches the numerous stitch marks scattered all over your frame: some are deeper lacerations perfectly normal after the surgeries you sustained, others are cuts that might diminish in a few months. “Princess, are you listening?” J traces the lesion on your wrist.

Y/N is so stiff though he has to fight in order to pull the covers away from her.

“Hey…hey… See? I have scars too,” The Clown attempts to distract you. “Are you having a panic attack? No need to!”

You try to keep up with what he’s saying and it’s pretty difficult giving the circumstances; at least you do understand J is making you relax.

His cell phone starts vibrating on the nightstand and he reaches for it.

“Perfect timing, Frost!” The Joker takes his frustration on Jonny. “What do you want?!!”

The short conversation ends fast with The King yelling a bunch of angry stuff, including an interesting grand finale: “Next time you interrupt when I’m on a roll struggling to get laid, maybe you’d like to intervene and convince Y/N her scars don’t bother me!!!”

Why is he mad?...

You watch him toss the phone on the floor and crawl by him, intrigued.

“Upset?” you begin caressing his hair with the teddy bear’s paw.

“My throne won’t be ready until June, Princess! I requested that fancy chair for a reason and paid a fortune to have it customized! What am I supposed to use at the club?! I don’t like the old furniture anymore!!”

You already lost track of what he’s saying: something about not having a throne???… … …

Oh, there’s one really close by!

You grab The Joker’s arm and drag him out of bed towards the bathroom.

“Where are we going?” he inquires, confused.

You quickly guide him to the toilet, making J sit on the closed lid.

“Throne,” you point at the porcelain bowl and The King of Gotham frowns, immediately bursting into laughter afterwards.

“You’re brilliant, Pumpkin! Brilliant!” he praises your interpretation as you are pulled on his knees.

“Hm?”

“You’re a clever Kitten and whoever says otherwise is an idiot! Turns out I do have a throne,” he admits and gropes you.

Too much for your brain to decipher all his sentences, yet Mister J seems content and that’s enough for you.

“The plan for this morning is simple,” he continues. “We’ll have sex, then take a shower and whatnot, then eat breakfast. Later I have a meeting; you just stay here and wait for me, alright?”

“Mmm…” you hesitantly process the words coming out of his mouth, opting to agree for his sake. “Ok?”

“You naughty girl,” he pulls down on your tank top spaghetti strap. ”I know you hate me sometimes, but in the end can’t resist my charm.”

“No hate… Love,” you snuggle to J while he walks back into the bedroom carrying the sweet burden of his existence; of course he ignored your statement because why would he pay attention to nonsense?

*************

You’re outside the car and sulk when Alice sneaks on the passenger’s seat that literally belongs to The Queen.

“Stay here, Princess. I won’t be too long,” The Joker mutters.

“W-why?” you ask since you are not a fan of the idea of having your boyfriend’s ex riding alone with him.

“You get bored at meetings,” he explains. “Circle the property and let the boys know if you need anything,” J emphasizes and drives down the path leading to the gates, leaving a puzzled Y/N behind: you never liked Alice and that didn’t vanish after the accident.

“Bye, Y/N!” she shouts and you can’t make a lot of sense of what you’re feeling, still one detail is certain: it hurts.

How come you couldn’t go?! Why didn’t he give you a choice?! He always does.

If The Joker thinks you can’t put two and two together these days, he’s very wrong.

“Y/N recovered quite nicely,” Alice smirks.

The King of Gotham sighs and she fixes a rebel strand of green hair rebelliously flying over his ear.

“I was wondering if you’ll call me at one point. I missed you, babe.”

“Did ya’?” he scoffs at her bold confession; but she’s a direct person, one of the qualities J admired when they were an item.

“I can’t image how you two function; I mean… her unfortunate transformation, it must be hard for you to put up with someone fighting to comprehend the easiest tasks.”

“It’s not easy,” The Clown admits and gazes at her: Alice dolled up for their rendezvous. Everything he considers attractive is there: beautiful pair of legs popping from under the short skirt, his favorite perfume discretely lingering on her flawless skin, the tip of the purple lace bra she’s wearing casually showing each time the woman leans forward.

“I bet,” Alice pretends to sympathize with his problems. “A man like you has needs that I’m positive Y/N can’t even remember how to satisfy,” she pats his thigh, slowly working her way to his crotch.

The Joker chuckles, accomplice with her insinuations, also super annoyed when his phone rings.

“Yes?” he promptly answers.

“Sir,” Frost reports, ”we have a situation; Y/N is increasingly agitated and…”

“Deal with it!” he hangs up and strives to cruise straight despite the sexy distraction urging him to do otherwise.

“Why did we split?” she scoots closer to him, pouting.

“Beats me,” J purrs as she squeezes her fingers in his pants’ pocket.

“What’s this?” Alice rattles the small plastic pouch.

“Y/N’s anti-inflammatory drug; there’s not much that can be done now and this is helping with the blood clot pressing on her frontal lobe. The doctors say it will reabsorb; granted it won’t matter regarding her cognitive impairment.”

“Awww,” The Joker’s past flame pretends to be affected by his briefing. “That’s too bad, babe; probably the future is not too bright…” she shoves your pills in the glove compartment. “Why don’t we reconcile? You know I’d do anything for you,” the flirtatious tone makes J reply:

“Would you jump in front of a speeding car like Y/N did to save me?”

“Ha! I would,” she elbows him, snickering at his antiques.

“Prove it then,” J growls. “Get out of the vehicle and don’t flinch if I run you over. If you survive, I’ll take you back!”

Alice opens her mouth in amazement and the SUV halts before The King reprises driving.

“Got cha’!” he cracks up at her baffled reaction.

“For God’s sake, babe! You scared me!” she playfully pinches him and teases: “Are we going to our spot?”

“I was wondering when you’ll notice,” The Joker navigates the unpaved road guiding the automobile towards Clear Sky Summit.

“Pull over,” Alice urges him and he complies at once. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time,” she moans climbing on his lap. “I can tell you missed me too,” the woman grins at his body’s response.

“That’s my gun,” J buries his face in the revealing cleavage, firmly holding her waist.

“I bet it is, babe,” she winks while unbuttoning his silver shirt. “I love you!” she tries to bite him and he violently yanks her long hair, snarling.

“Is that why you tried to kill me?”

Alice cautiously exhales, a bit nervous at the switch in his demeanor.

“What are you talking about?!”

“Who was driving the car meant to hit me, huh? Tinted windows, no license plate.”

“Babe, you’re hurting me,” she winces in pain at his strong grip. “I swear I don’t know anything!”

“Are you sure?” J sniffs her scent.

“Yes I’m sure! I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize our…”

“Our what? What exactly our means in this context? We separated more than two years ago!” The Joker crushes her spine against the wheel.

“Babe, let go!” Alice wiggles in his tight embrace.

“Why did you do it? Were you jealous I found a new fling? Took me months to track the culprit!!!” J restricts her movement when she stretches to open the door. “You fucked up my girl!” his hands forcefully twist her neck and the snapping noise of fractured bone halts the argument.

The Joker pushes the corpse off him, numb to the murder he committed out of pure rage: what’s another name added to the list?

Yet… this was personal.

He keeps staring at the trees surrounding the trail without discerning their shape. 30 minutes pass and the phone’s alarm alerts him it’s time for your remedy: The Clown Prince of Crime is so out of it he doesn’t stop it until he’s on the main road.

He speeds up to ensure a timely arrival at the mansion where Y/N will definitely confront him after being abandoned in such fashion: the truth is he doesn’t mind.

What he does mind though is that no matter what happens, Y/N will never be her former self.

***************

The Joker parks in front of the villa and hops out of the car, barking instructions at the goons patrolling the area:

“I want this gone!” he gestures at the cadaver crammed under the front seat. “Where’s Y/N?”

“In the garage, boss” Frost indicates. “You should know that…”

“I got it! I got it!” J waves and sprints towards your destination.

Nothing prepared him for the carnage.

“Holy… … shit!!!” he inhales at the shocking landscape depicting all five of his most beloved vehicles mauled to pieces: broken windows, scraped paint, karoseri indents…a whole mess!

Bam!!! You smash the rearview mirror of his favorite Ferrari with the baseball bat.

“What are you doing, Pumpkin????!!!!” J screams, aggravated.

Oh, he’s back!

“Y-you like her??!!” The Queen redirects her wrath. “B-because she’s smart??!!”

“Who? Alice?” he quizzes for no reason whatsoever: The Joker’s aware of the reply.

“Wh-where did you go, hm?” you point the wood weapon at the man taking you for a fool; you try not to stutter but it’s impossible with the strained neurons firing up a storm inside an already troubled brain.

“Nowhere, I killed her.”

“Hm?”

“I killed Alice!” The Joker raises his voice and watches you squint your eyes, a clear hint you’re analyzing his disclosure. “Look what you did, Princess! Are you happy now??” he finds the perfect opportunity to divert the outcome of the mayhem he actually created: J repeatedly learned this is the best strategy.

“U-hum,” you serenely admit since you’re indeed pleased with the results of your rampage.

The two parties glare at each other in silence and The Joker grabs the yellow teddy bear resting on a nearby hood, proposing truce before you bash something else:

“I’ll trade you the fur ball for your bat.”

Yikes, you’re reluctant to his treaty: further distraction is required.

“My collection is destroyed, Pumpkin!” The Joker approaches with the toy he stole for you on your first date. “Who we’re gonna call on such short notice to fix all this crap?!!”

Oh, you know this one! You and Mister J watch the movie on a regular basis.

“Mmm… Ghost Busters?” Y/N innocently suggests.

He puckers his lips at the astonishing proposal and it takes a lot of effort not to laugh.

“That’s brilliant, Y/N! Best idea I heard all week!” The Joker proudly compliments your intuition. “You’re a clever Kitten and whoever says otherwise is a moron!” he swiftly snatches the baseball from your grasp and replaces it with the teddy bear.

He rolls the weapon by the closest tire, signaling you to follow.

“Come on, Pumpkin, it’s time for your med. Why are you limping? Is your knee hurting again?”

“U-hum.”

“Serves you right for going rogue!” he scolds. “Com’ere,” J lifts you up, placing your legs around his midsection. “I expect apologies by the way!”

“No,” you sniffle while dangling the toy with one arm.

“Pain in the ass!” he huffs and you kiss him. “This is not an apology!” The Joker spanks you butt.

“Mine,” you cuddle to his shoulder, totally blocking his grouchiness.

“Yeah, yeah, yours,” J grumbles heading for the elevator. “So this is how the rest of today will unfold, Y/N: I’ll be mad until evening time, then we’ll have makeup sex and dinner, the last two not necessarily in the same order. And you’re not going to freak out when I touch your scars, OK?”

“Mmm…OK?”

“Why is that a question?” The Joker continues bickering. “You have other prospects? Boyfriends I should know about? Are you even listening?”

“U-hum,” you poke J’s star tattoo. “No… freaking out.”

“Fair enough,” he compromises and lifts you higher on his hips when you cling to him: selective perception is infinitely better than none. “Is this Pink Blossoms?”

“Yes,” you nod at the familiar brand you use all the time.

The King of Gotham smells his favorite perfume in the air, reckoning he wouldn’t enjoy it if another woman wears it for him.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Wattpad and Ao3 under the same blog name: DiYunho.

#the joker x reader #the joker imagine #the joker fanfiction #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker imagine #joker leto #joker suicide squad #mister joker #mister j #Mistah J #dc #dcu

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hellyeahomeland · 4 years

Text

“In Full Flight”: an HYH recap

The most delightful Homeland episode since “Two Minutes” picks up with Mike, Jenna (in a chambray shirt), and Alan in Kabul station, observing drone footage of Carrie, Yevgeny, and crew. Jenna deduces that they’re probably going to Kohat, and she is correct for the first time all season.

Mike asks about an exfiltration team from Islamabad but they won’t be there until later tonight. Saul interrupts their pow-wow to ask what’s going on:

Saul: What is this about grabbing Carrie Mathison? Mike: Oh, hello, sir. Let’s go into my office. Saul: Fuck your office and fuck you, too. What are y’all talking about? Mike: No problem, sir. A special ops team is planning to grab Carrie. You know, because she’s a defector. Saul: FOR FUCK’S SAKE SHE IS NOT A DEFECTOR. Actually she’d be right here telling you that herself if you hadn’t cornered her like an animal three hours ago without telling me. Mike: Actually actually she was supposed to be back in America like a week ago but then she broke custody and started her adventure with a GRU officer. Now they’re out there doing God knows what. Sir. Saul: I’ll tell you what they’re doing. They’re finding the flight recorder. Mike: What’s a flight recorder? Saul: I can’t believe I’m still having this conversation with you. Do any of y’all have brains or critical thinking skills? Mike: By the way, sir, you’ve been called back to DC. Saul: Fuck my whole life. Fuck all of you too.

Carrie and Yevgeny are very much on their way to Kohat. It’s been just a few hours since Carrie turned her back on Saul and her loaded expression as she stares out the window is very much “questioning all my past life decisions.” That could take a while, Carrie!

Carrie and Yevgeny arrive in Kohat and begin driving under a series of … I have no idea what they are, basically overhangs in the street so you can’t tell where their car is. It’s very “From A to B and Back Again” when Quinn lost Haqqani in the classic baseball stadium game “Which hat is the ball under?” trick. The team in Kabul is annoyed and prepares for a grid search.

Carrie & Co. are checking into a hotel for the night. Yevgeny makes a very obvious performance of leading Carrie to her room and what ensues is the most sexually tense scene on this show… ever. First he offers her some Ambien and Carrie cracks a joke for the first time in eight years and says she could open up a pharmacy of her own.

She apologizes for not telling him about the flight recorder sooner. At first it was all personal, she needed to find Max, she couldn’t focus on anything else. Yevgeny asks what she thinks actually happened to the presidents’ helicopter, since she certainly doesn’t believe Jalal was involved. She thinks it was probably just a freak accident: pilot error, mechanical failures, shitty weather, any or all of the above. Then she reveals that detail from the fifth episode, that the Black Hawk fleet has had a series of mechanical issues. Oh, I should add that this conversation all takes place in the doorway of Carrie’s hotel room and every fifteen seconds or so Carrie and/or Yevgeny glance back toward the bed. You can cut the sexual tension with a knife.

Yevgeny asks if there are any more secrets she’s been keeping from him. She smiles, pauses… it’s the most interesting moment. Then she says very quietly, “I think I’m fresh out of secrets.” They stare at each other for a long time, Yevgeny probably wondering if Carrie is going to invite him in and Carrie probably wondering if Yevgeny can take a fucking hint. Finally, I exhale, and Yevgeny says to just “bang on the wall” if Carrie needs anything, which at least elicits a laugh.

Elsewhere in Pakistan, a Pakistani military officer named Aziz has come to see Bunny to ask just where the fuck Tasneem is. Aziz is pissed because Tasneem was supposed to control the Taliban—first Haissam, then Jalal—and her “incompetence” has led to the Americans threatening to invade. Bunny is the opposite of worried. The Americans are all talk, no bite. They won’t actually invade Pakistan for failing to produce a man they claim they can’t find. I guess he hasn’t met John Zabel. Anyway, he says Tasneem is off to find Jalal somewhere in the mountains.

Instead, she actually meets (Haissam) Haqqani’s right-hand. She is beyond pissed that he just let Jalal control the shura last week. This is all so fucked. He doesn’t have much of a response, beyond, “well, he was the emir’s son, so I guess so?” He offers to take Tasneem to Jalal but only if she puts a hood over her head and lemme tell ya, Tasneem is none too pleased about that either!

It’s the next morning in Kohat and Carrie and Yevgeny really are going shopping, just like the logline said. They’re winding their way through the bazaars on the street but still no luck finding this flight recorder. Enter A Kid. He’s all “pardon me, excuse me,” and Yevgeny puts on his best Dad Hat and tells him to get lost. It’s very touching. Then he says he knows what they’re looking for, which is enough to get their attention.

He takes them to a shop where Mr. Shop Owner #1 is like, “Hi, do you like flight recorders? Because I’ve got lots!” Unfortunately he doesn’t have the one they’re looking for and he also seems pretty skittish because a) what the hell are a Russian and an American doing together? and b) is this official government business or something private or, like… just generally what the hell?

Saul has arrived back to DC and meets Hayes in the Oval Office with our favorite Odd Couple, Linus and Zabel (this should really be the name of a sitcom). Saul passively aggressively says he knows of Zabel “by reputation.” Aside from that jab, the meeting unfortunately goes from meh to ugh to wtf for Saul. He has to play bad cop and tell Hayes that the video of Jalal is unvetted intelligence, completely lacking in context, and probably just a straight-up lie. Hayes has the expression of someone who’s never followed Thought A to Thought B—which is true, obviously—and Zabel has to jump in to say of course POTUS has already done the Thought A to Thought B exercise, he just arrived at a different conclusion. You know, mine! The best part of all THIS is that as Saul grows increasingly incredulous at the conversation, Linus sits there, silently, looking like he’d like to be swallowed up by an alligator. Afterward:

Saul: Wow a bit of warning would have been helpful. Or maybe just an assist there, Linus. Linus: I didn’t even know you were coming back. I’m outside the ~information flow~ Saul: God, we’re so fucked. Linus: I wish I’d get swallowed by an alligator.

Back in Kohat, Carrie has entered another shop, this time sans Yevgeny. This one proves a bit more fruitful. She actually finds Max’s rucksack, which means that flight recorder had to have been here recently. Mr. Shop Owner #2 feigns ignorance, but Carrie is relentless.

Yevgeny enters all of a sudden to let her know that that special ops team from Islamabad is here, so they need to get out of there, pronto. He leaves quickly to lose the tail and instructs her to go back to the hotel and wait. His absence gives her the perfect opportunity to keep grilling Mr. Shop Owner #2, whom I actually love and seems really sweet. Poor guy is just no match for Carrie. He finally reveals the flight recorder was there but he sold it to a broker he works with. Carrie offers him a lot of money to find the broker and get the flight recorder back there for a trade at midnight.

Tasneem gets the black hood off her head in exchange for an audience with Jalal, but homie remains pissed. Jalal is sort of confused at her reaction. A few episodes ago she was plotting to put Jalal in the place he’s currently in. What changed? Well, for starters, now the Americans are threatening to invade Pakistan. She says he’s got to go to ground, but he refuses to run.

Jalal: Who do you think I am? Tasneem: You’re the loser whom I picked up on the side of the road. I bandaged your feet and listened to you crying about your daddy issues for hours. Jalal: You think that you control us. Actually it’s the other way around.

He leads her up to a rooftop where hundreds of Taliban fighters have gathered. He says the last time the ISI got in the way, they killed a thousand of their officers on the street. And now they’re twice as strong, so you do the math. Tasneem has a general “oh fuck” expression on her face and… same.

In Kohat, Yevgeny finally shows back up in Carrie’s hotel room. He reveals that eight men are hunting her and they need to leave, now. She says they can’t, as they haven’t found the flight recorder yet. Of course we know Carrie has found it—and in hindsight, at this point Yevgeny probably does as well—but she needs to stick around a few more hours to make the trade. For a split second you think maybe Carrie is going to preoccupy Yevgeny for a few hours in her bedroom but instead she calls Jenna.

Carrie: Hey, how’s it going? Jenna: OH MY GOD I STILL HATE YOU. Carrie: Chill for a second. Also I know you’re walking toward Mike and do yourself a favor and pause and just listen to me. Jenna: Ugh, fine, I’m listening. Carrie: I need you to give up the location of the exfil team that’s looking for me. Jenna: Are you high? Carrie: I am not, but you are if you think this will end up any other way than me convincing you. Jenna: You’re putting me in an impossible position. Carrie: You must do this. I compel you. Jenna: If I give up their location, you’ll turn yourself in there? Carrie: “Sure.” Jenna: Ok I’ll call you back.

This entire conversation transpires with Yevgeny sitting on the sofa in Carrie’s hotel room, legs crossed. It’s… I’ll be honest, it’s hot. When Carrie hangs up he applauds her performance and says she was clever and convincing. That’s right, Carrie played Jenna… again. Again! Again again again!

Carrie is kinda down on selling out her own people but Yevgeny says she did it for all the right reasons and in any case, the local police will only hold them for a day (uhhhh yeah right). He starts to compliment her strong instincts. He really respects her for that.

“Why, how do you do it?” Carrie asks.

“Me? I am more of a planner,” Yevgeny answers.

The alarm bells start ringing in her head and Carrie asks him all speaking of which whether he arranged for them to “run into each other” outside G’ulom’s office way back in the season premiere (show time: 10 days???). Before he can answer, Jenna rings back and tells Carrie the safe house location. Carrie says “you did the right thing” and the amount of self-disgust in her expression for this just being too fucking easy is … significant.

A few minutes later, Mike is on the phone with one of the special ops team members in the Kohat safe house. Local police have surrounded the building. Exasperated, Mike tells them to stand down. One by one, they file out and are led into custody. Jenna watches in horror and the amount of self-disgust in her expression for this just being her life is… also significant.

In Rawalpindi, Tasneem is at Bunny’s house and freaking out. Jalal has consolidated power extremely quickly. She’s concerned, but Bunny says they just need to take him out, root and branch. Bunny is offended by the prospect of being ordered around by a smarmy teenager but Tasneem thinks they need to protect him. If Pakistan protects Jalal, they’ll protect themselves too. And they need to respond to the Americans not with concessions but with threats just as strong. Remember when they were three minutes away from a generation-defining peace agreement?

Back in her hotel room, Carrie is growing restless. She decides to get some fresh air and by that I mean she jumps out the window to get the show on the fucking road. On the way she calls Saul, to whom she is apparently still speaking. She asks if their protocols for transferring money over the dark web are still a go and he says yes. She says she’s got a lead on the black box and he promises to arrange the funds ASAP.

Carrie winds up back at Mr. Shop Owner #2’s shop. Mr. Shop Owner #1 is there, too! Plus the broker. They do a little thing, Carrie says she won’t pay any more than $999,999, she is very In Charge and it’s pretty great to see. Not that we needed any more convincing, but the kind of instincts and improvisation Yevgeny admired just a few hours earlier are on full display here. She knows exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. It’s breathtaking.

What’s also breathtaking is Carrie doing something correctly with a computer. Apparently the black box just hooks up to her Macbook with a USB-C cord… whoulda thunk?! After pulling a gun on Mr. Broker and telling him to beat it, she starts listening to the cockpit recording.

Then Yevgeny arrives! She starts to apologize but he stops her—he just wants to listen. They each share an earbud like goddamn Jim and Pam and continue listening. Turns out, Carrie was right. No one shot down that helicopter. A freak mechanical malfunction, “brace for impact,” etc. “Fucking helicopters,” Yevgeny says.

Carrie attempts a segue and says, “So… what now?” She wants to get this to the embassy in Islamabad. He wants to do the opposite of that. Then Carrie starts on him. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all. Maybe he’s actually… good.

Carrie: Plus, I’d owe you a favor. Yevgeny: Carrie, if I drop you off at the embassy I’ll literally never see you again. Carrie: Not true. I won’t betray my country, but I’d still move to Scottsdale with you. Yevgeny: I still don’t believe you. Carrie: Why not? You’ve already helped me a ton, and it’s cost you nothing! There has to be a way where we can make a “mutually beneficial arrangement.” Yevgeny: Is that what they’re calling it these days? Carrie: What? Yevgeny: What? Carrie: …anyhow, aren’t you sick of all this bullshit? Shitty bosses, shitty politicians, clearly the current way of business isn’t working for us. We could do better. You and me. We could chart something new here. You and me. God, we’re already halfway there! Yevgeny: Our own private network, huh? That would be nice, but it’s a pipe dream. Also, I like what you’re saying, but you still lied to me. Carrie: Technically, I just withheld the truth. Which is exactly what you did to me. Yevgeny: Heh? Carrie: The asylum, Yevgeny. What actually happened? We just took long walks in the woods and shared our life stories and you just happened to be the there the day I tried to hang myself? Give me a fucking break.

She moves closer and mentions the whole “picking up where we left off” thing. Well, will he or won’t he? Because she’s already decided.

There is a long pause and then they start making out. It’s exactly what you’d expect it would be, by which I mean it’s really hot! The scene is fraught with the unknown. How much are they playing each other? How much are they being genuine? Like Carrie says, they’re living in the grey areas. And who’s the first to blink?

Evidently it’s Carrie. After a few moments she breaks away and says they need to wait until after Islamabad. “Ok,” he says quietly. She tries to kiss him again, but he pulls ever so slightly away.

She hops off the table and begins to pack up the flight recorder. At that moment, he stabs her in the neck from behind with a tranquilizer. “Sorry, baby,” he says as she falls unconscious.

In DC, Saul is waiting anxiously by the phone. It rings. It’s not Carrie, but Linus. Everyone’s in the situation room, there’s some sort of activity in one of Pakistan’s nuclear facilities. Saul’s day goes from bad to worse.

In the situation room, resident hottie Scott Ryan is giving a PowerPoint presentation about said activity. Hayes is trying to understand literally anything that’s happening. Zabel explains that Pakistan only has the nukes in the first place to defend against a possible invasion from India. They’ll never actually use them. Saul growls that that’s because India isn’t fucking stupid enough to invade Pakistan. Hayes is beginning to understand the whole concept of “consequences” but before his mind can dwell on that for too long, he decides to just up the ante. More troops, more preparations for war, more of the same.

Saul’s day is not possibly as bad as Carrie’s has wound up. Yevgeny carries her, still unconscious, back into the hotel room. He places her gingerly on the bed and then kisses her forehead. He shuts off the lights as the camera moves in slowly on her her peacefully sleeping face.

#homeland #homelandedit #an hyh recap #in full flight #*#by: sara #homeland spoilers

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steve0discusses · 4 years

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Yugioh S4 Ep 14 Pt1: Rex and Weevils Ultimate Betrayal No One Gave a Damn About

Just finished watching the Superbowl, which I never ever do, and it was VERY confusing and I thought I remembered this sport but I did not. I don’t know what’s happening. I do not understand how Kansas City got that field goal on San Fransisco when their feet never touched the goal line. So, I’m just gonna...change gears completely and wrap up this long post about a VERY complicated anime that came out before some of y’all were born, instead. Today I just really wanted to feel lost.

Last episode, Yugi (the main character of the show, the one this show is named after) hella died, and Rex and Weevil decided to leave the party very, very quickly.

You’d think that the one event (Yugi’s dead) would have to do with the other event (getting the hellllll away), considering how rude and judgy Yami is, but they actually left for cards. They accidentally did a very wise decision in order to do something incredibly stupid and cancel out any wisdom they showed in pedaling as fast as they could possibly pedal away from the reincarnated ghost who just very suddenly achieved full control of a human body.

They accidentally pedaled away from every Mummy movie super villain and somehow ended up with a much more worse villain.

Like I say that this whole season is about Yugi’s crazy commute, but Rex and Weevil’s commute has just been so much more. They are just clinging to whatever vehicle is near them in order to find these legendary cards sitting somewhere in American Soil. They are so ambivalent to all the very real world terrible problems around them because they’re PRETTY SURE they’re gonna get rich. It’s like the Gold Rush but with helicopters.

Also the 49ers never rode tandem bikes, but you know they would’ve if they could’ve.

And for some, weird reason, Rafeal decides not to pick them up under his arms and toss them directly onto an unsuspecting Joey Wheeler like he just did with Yugi. Rafael and Alister decided...nah...I’ll keep these strange small manchildren.

It seems really off brand for Rafael and Alister but maybe they just got too tired to deal with it right now.

Speaking of tired--this horse.

I mean I’ll do the math eventually--not this post but maybe the next one I just did a lot of math trying to remember why the hell it’s 6 points for a goal in football--but this horse that we estimated would take over 20 days to ride to Death Valley just rode all the way back in the same day. Congratulations horse, the strongest force in all of Yugioh, (second to Yugi’s neck, holding that 70 lb necklace at all hours of the day.)

The girls seem to think that everything is OK initially, mostly because Yugi doesn’t really lose games that often, since the list of ways to beat Yugi in a card game up until now didn’t include “trick Yami into murdering the hell out of Yugi Muto.” Crazy that that actually worked, but Yami isn’t that bright.

PS please admire how chubby this horse appears in this scene.

OK I’m glad we all acknowledged the elephant in the room that was a horse last shot.

Also...maybe he didn’t hug her back because she just shoved a very sharp pyramid necklace straight into his small intestines?

(more under the cut)

I’ll spare you Transatlantacism this time.

Tea is concerned but more surprised than straight up angry. An anger which is more honed by Rebecca because Yami just killed her only friend (other than this horse) and possibly her only future husband that would ever put up with her (other than this horse.)

Like it seems kind of rude in the show out of context that everyone took a moment to lay a big dump on Yami Muto, but can you imagine if you straight up killed your twin (by accident but only by like 75% accident, lets be real) and this was your only punishment?

Like getting punched out is just how Yami treats himself every single day, so I don’t think Joey made too much of a difference in the situation. But you know, it’s Yugioh, so getting punched does is somehow the correct answer.

It was very lucky for Yami that Tea was too busy trying to console Rebecca to punch Yami before Joey got to him first because hot damn that would have sent him straight back to Death Valley.

And then I think this next exchange between Duke and Tristan was somewhat lost in translation. Please admire the censorship here. Safe for kids now.

I say this like a joke but have you seen Equinox? I live in the Bay, so trust me. Equinox is absolutely reviving the Great Leviathan. No doubt in my mind.

Anyway, Rafael and Alister hear Rex and Weevil’s plea to join the evil task force and they’re like...

...yeah, I guess you can apply, why not? No need to interview your or anything before we harass Darts with you.

Like Rafael and Alister were completely bonkers children that were driven to insanity by very extreme circumstances, and then there’s Rex and Weevil. They’re just...kind of middling at cards and that’s it.

But sure, yeah, I’m sure they’ll fit right into the completely maniacal card corporate atmosphere here at DartsCorp. I’m sure Rex and Weevil will jump out of a plane on a motorcycle and then do stunts all the way towards Atlantis Island.

Sure.

(course, now that I think of it, they did introduce themselves to Alister and Rafael by accidentally doing a stunt over a canyon onto a helicopter so...maybe they accidentally think Rex and Weevil are cool?)

Which, in hindsight, makes Mai make a hell of a lot more sense because y’all, they should be SO distracted right now, and shouldn’t let anyone in here who isn’t insane or insanely good at cards. But instead they’re like...I guess you have a duel disk, you’ll work. It’s not like there’s a line of people at the door.

Anyway, because the show has to acknowledge that there might be new viewers, they do their best to try and explain this very lengthy Yugi mechanic as if we’ve never heard it before and honestly, it just sounded like everyone was very frustrated.

Like for reals what is he wearing?

Why are there so few normal ass suits in Yugioh? Why is KAIBA the only person who knows what colors belong on a fitted suit? (And he just wears white, which isn’t a color and is always very safe but youknow it still boggles my mind that the power suit people are so into very friendly soft pastels from Gozaburo, to Pegasus, to Noah, to Darts.)

I would wear this suit to Easter Sunday. Darts just wears it every day.

And so then we get a little insight into what it takes to become an Orichalcos card champion.

While before, Darts just kinda poked Mai in the forehead and she was instantly imbued with Aqua Green Evilness, he decided to do a weird test on Rex and Weevil. Just to make sure they realllllly wanted to be here.

As if they didn’t stow away in a 18 hour flight stuffed into a handbag, hold in their piss for said 18 hours, then get shipped by accident to the Tenderloin, where they were mugged twice, and then get shoved into the trunk of Duke’s car, and then took a broken tandem bike to the hottest desert in America, where they then rode said bike off of a cliff in order to hang onto a flying helicopter.

Like I think this test was unnecessary, I think they want to be here.

But youknow, I think Darts just wanted to torture em for kicks.

And then Rex and Weevil have to grab two of these Oricalchos stones that were farting special effects and were very, very opposed to being owned by Rex and Weevil. But they managed to do it.

And uh congrats--their betrayal has begun!

And I don’t think anyone else on this show even recognized that they freakin left. Like they just kinda disappeared in Death Valley and then Duke was like “eh. They’ll find their way home.”

Kind of incredible that Joey and friends left these two stranded in Death Valley, That alone should have killed Rex and Weevil and like...Wow. Wow is Joey and co such a freakin asshole.

So don’t leave people stranded in Death Valley, they will join a card cult and freakin kill you. If the insane heat doesn’t kill them first.

And then because...I don’t know...I don’t know why, after sending his best and brightest fighters, Darts decided to downgrade and do this:

(based on a true story where a friend of mine worked as an intern in the city, and because they couldn’t pay him a living wage, he lived in a closet at said startup for nearly 2 years. Start-up culture is pretty real, folks, it’s PRETTY REAL. But, on the bright side, at least they had a shower in-house.)

So, I’m gonna go remove my contacts and try to forget how much queso I ate at that Superbowl party.

It was a lot of queso.

and if you just got here, this is a handy link to read these from the start.

PS anyone else pull the Yugioh fest in PAD? Because I have played this game...a lot over the course of 5 years and saved up over 300 free stones for several months in anticipation for this collab and then I pulled Kuriboh about 15 times. Most of you have no idea what that means, but for some of you out there, your heart just broke for me 15 times. (I did get 2 Yugis so I’m fine, but damn it) Then, bro saved up his stones and pulled Seto Kaiba, Marik, and Bakura all in a row. Freakin gotcha games, man. Freakin gotcha games.

#Yugioh #ygo #photo recap #episode recap #yami #yami muto #joey wheeler #tristan taylor #darts #rex and weevil #alister #rafael #duke devlin #tea gardner #S4 #Ep14 #rebecca hawkins #copernicus the horse

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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754

Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don’t even have one of those yet.

Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? I'm not sure. I know she's told me before about being diagnosed with depression, but I’ve forgotten if it’s mild or severe, or if she has the whole thing or is just showing symptoms of it. She only mentioned it in passing so I figured it wasn’t something she wanted to touch on further.

Would you be able to climb out your bedroom window to sneak out? Probably but I’d have to be really careful to not end up shattering my legs or any other part of my body haha, but knowing me I’d probably land badly. I live on the second floor but the house isn’t that high, so I think I could give it a shot.

What would you do if you found out the last person you called was pregnant/got someone pregnant? I’d be very confused because she’s very gay and also because she’s only been staying at home since March.

Can you taste the difference between brand name food and store brand food? I wouldn’t be able to relate since store brand’s not really a thing here. Only SM makes their own stuff but they’re purposely cheaper because they’re meant to be of lower quality to begin with. Other than that, we don’t really have a choice but buy brand name.

Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Just the tampons, probably. I never need condoms so I have no reason to feel awkward buying them, and in fact I’ve volunteered to buy them for Angela whenever she feels shy haha; I definitely have no reason to be embarrassed buying pads because periods are a thing. I will likely feel most awkward getting tampons since I don’t know any one person who uses them where I live and it’ll most likely be seen as an unusual purchase since they’re quite uncommon.

If a stranger went in your room, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it? Probably. I have a poster of Nam Joo Hyuk, several Audrey Hepburn memorabilia, and a lot of pink stuff so it very much looks like a stereotypical girly room. I do think it’s kinda balanced out by the amount of WWE merch I own, but yeah otherwise my other stuff screams girly.

Are your parents gullible? When it comes to home stuff my mom is basically a witch; she can immediately tell if my dog peed somewhere, if I lost something, or if a dining chair isn’t positioned right. But when it comes to fake news on Facebook she will occasionally flock to them hahaha I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to remind her that phones DO NOT emit radiation from 12AM to 5AM and that it’s only a ploy to get people to sleep early lmfao. My dad is pretty intelligent and won’t be easily fooled about anything.

Do you still own a VCR? I know my parents owned one but I don’t know if they still brought it here when we moved 12 years ago or if they already threw it out.

About how much money have you spent on food in the past two weeks? :( Zero pesos. The only thing I’ve spent on this entire quarantine was a bottle of soju I asked my dad to buy and I paid him after.

If you were in a car accident would the last person you kissed care? Yes.

If you were looking for a new pair of shoes where would you go? UPTC since they have like ten shoe stores there.

How much was the last pair of shoes you bought? I haven’t had a new pair in like a year now, but the last one we bought cost arounddddd ₱4200, if I remember correctly.

What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? Gray. No, it was a gift from my parents.

Do you have a second home? I guess I count my childhood home my second home. My grandma and cousins remain in that house, so we visit from time to time and when we’re there I’ve noticed that I still retain the same tendencies and habits from when I still lived there.

Would you be surprised if you saw the last person you texted smoking? I’ll use the last person I chatted in this context since I haven’t texted in a hot minute, and that person would be Andrew. I’d be quite concerned since they’ve told me they’ve quit smoking, so there must be something extremely stressful going on for them to start smoking. I’d check up on them immediately.

Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? I do super hate the smell of beer even though I have no other choice but to drink it sometimes; I still find the smell of cigarettes disgusting although my contempt for them has lessened over the last few years seeing as a lot of people I know are smokers so I’ve been around that smell a lot, and also because I’ve started too. I’ve never been around weed and I don’t know how it smells.

Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger by a month.

Do you think people have any misconceptions about you? Not really? What I get most frequently is people thinking I was grumpy at first, but tbh I am pretty grumpy so they aren’t far off from the truth. With me it’s usually a what you see is what you get thing whether someone’s meeting me for the first or the 78th time.

Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Nope, not a thing here. I’ve always found the variety of cookies so fascinating though and I’ve always wanted to try the Thin Mints and Samoas since they’re what I hear about the most :(

Do you like waffles? They’re okay, though I only ever eat waffles with fried chicken and never just by themselves. I prefer pancakes.

Do you watch birthing videos on a day-to-day basis? Nah man wtf? I have no reason to be doing that lmao.

Do you find piercings/tattoos attractive? I don’t find either attractive. I get curious when I see tattoo because I wonder what the story behind it is and what it means to the person who has it, that’s all. As for piercings, I don’t really like them < Pretty much. Like I don’t go looking around for tattoos on a person to find them attractive; I just like hearing the histories behind them. Same with piercings, I don’t need them to be attracted to someone.

Would you talk to someone you don’t know on the internet? Only on social media that I’m already familiar with and comfortable in, like on this Tumblr, or Twitter, sometimes Facebook. I wouldn’t go to like Quora to ask something or join forums or even post anything on Reddit.

How often do you drink Monster? Never. Energy drinks scare me lol.

Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? I’ve made those for myself, but not with friends. I remember filming a house tour with my flip phone’s video camera back when I was like, 8 hahaha I was ahead of our time for sure.

Do you like to buy those Warped Tour compilations? I don’t even know those existed. I just knew of Warped Tour and that all the cool bands of the time would play there, but that’s it. I’m clueless about everything else that goes on in there.

Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? You mean just a restaurant? Inside, for sure. I would never agree to eating outside and am always willing to wait a few extra minutes. I hate having to contend with passersby while I eat my food as I feel that it ruins the experience as well as the time I have with the person/s I’m eating with.

Do you own a nightgown? No but I had duster dresses that I’d wear to bed as a kid, if that counts lol.

Have you ever made a house out of a giant cardboard box? Probably not. My mom wouldn’t allow us to play with those and she’d immediately view them as trash that needs to be thrown out.

Have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom? No. I usually used the sheets as a cape or robe, then I’d pretend to be a queen.

Do your grandparents know how to operate a cell phone? My paternal grandparents do. My maternal grandfather used to regularly use a phone before he passed. My maternal grandmother refuses to learn :(

Have you ever had sex or something like it? Hahahaha ‘something like it.’ Yeah, I’ve had sex.

Have you ever read a George Orwell book? I tried reading 1984 when I was like 13 but didn’t understand it from the get-go. I haven’t continued it since but honestly I’m very open to revisiting it one of these days.

Have you ever worn fishnets? I don’t remember ever doing so. I feel like it’d be so uncomfortable; I hate wearing stockings as it is.

How many piercings and tattoos do you have? I only have my ears pierced and no tattoos < Sameeee.

Is someone in your family affected by Asperger’s? Nope.

In a hotel do you always nose through all the drawers and cupboards? Hahahahaha yeah, just out of curiosity. I’ve never seen anything interesting, but I keep trying.

Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? Be eaten out right now. I’ve had too much abstinence from sexual activity for my own liking lol < Ok it’s 1 in the afternoon but SAME lol

Do you always wear your seat belt? Honestly, no and it’s a shitty habit that I need to correct ASAP. I never notice that I’m not wearing them until it’s one of my parents riding with me and they scold me for driving out of the village without a seatbelt. I do put it on when I enter bigger cities with more police patrolling the area like Ortigas and Makati, or when I drive out of town, but usually it stays off.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. I’ve had a crush on a teacher, but I obviously didn’t legit like him haha.

Have you ever been in a play? Just the annual school plays we do that all students are required to be a part of. I forgot to mention this in a recent survey but I was in an acting club in Grade 1 and I played Cinderella’s prince in our culminating play, heheh.

Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Sure.

Is there ice cream in your freezer? Yeah. My parents love ice cream so we always have an ample supply of their favorite flavors. Sometimes we’ll also have a tub of cookies and cream since it’s our (the kids’) favorite flavor.

Have you ever started to laugh but played it off as a cough successfully? For sure. I always laugh at inappropriate moments so I do fake coughs a lot.

Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? I suppose so. Hate is a strong word and I’d rather not use it, but while the music my girlfriend listens to wouldn’t be what I’d tune into on a regular basis, the lyrics are admittedly very well-written and intelligent and reflective, and I don’t mind it when she shares her favorite songs with me :)

Does your bathroom have a window? Yes but they’re high up on the wall.

Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? No, I’m really scared of threading :( Everyone always gets out of the salon with their eyebrow area all red and tingling and it’s enough to scare me off of threading forever lmao. I’m not very conscious about how my own eyebrows look, so I just let them grow out.

When you were younger did you read the A Series Of Unfortunate Events books? I’ve only seen snippets of the movie.

Who was the last band you saw live? Paramore. I miss them already.

Do you believe prayer really works? I’m not gonna invalidate the fact that it works for a lot of people. But it’s just not my cup of tea, and I honestly don’t know how to feel whenever someone says they pray for me since I don’t believe in it anyway. Of course I thank them, but on the inside I’m always a little puzzled.

Are you a fan of the band Gym Class Heroes? Never been. I know Stereo Hearts and that was always a fun song to sing, but it’s not my favorite either.

Frosted flakes or frosted mini wheats? I don’t really have either, but I’d go with frosted flakes I guess?

Have you been on a date in the park? I would love to have one of these if we actually had parks. How nice would it be to take a long stroll, have a picnic, and just sit on a bench talking for hours?

Ever dated someone you were best friends with first? Yes. At first I didn’t want to risk it since we were reeeeeally close, but I don’t regret asking her out.

Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? Thankfully no. Although my grandpa and his sister did pass from heart attacks and I’m starting to be scared that it might develop to be a pattern for some of us. But other than that, both sides of the family are relatively healthy.

Do you have asthma? No. But Gab does and I get really worried once her breathing becomes labored at night. I keep telling her to get a new nebulizer after her old one broke, but I dunno what’s become of that request of mine.

Are tongue piercings slutty? No, and it’s not like being slutty is a bad thing lol.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? No one in real life but I do still have a crush on CM Punk who’s turning 42 this year hahah. I don’t think that crush is ever gonna go away.

Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Gab.

Do you remember those cool highlighters that smelled like popcorn? I knew about markers and ballpens, but not highlighters.

Might you enjoy hanging out in the woods for day or two? No thanks. I’d rather have somewhere to go home to or rest at by the end of the day, and if I was gonna do this I prefer to be with someone who knows a thing or two about surviving in the woods.

Have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? Nope. The worst thing I’ve done was write on one of the desks in grade school.

Least favorite alcoholic drink? Out of the ones I tried, I didn’t like whisky at all. Too bitter for me < Twins. I hated the ever living shit out of Jim Beam and Jack Daniels when I tried them.

Have you ever kissed someone named Paul or Luke? I haven’t. I have a cousin named Luke that I used to babysit and I kissed him a lot when he was a baby, if that counts lol.

How did you meet the last male you texted? I met them at the Marcos heroes’ burial protests. I have no idea how I started talking to them, but I think it was because they were wearing a Nexus shirt and I told them I like it, and we started talking from there.

Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Yup. I wasn’t allowed to make an email address when I was young so I had to sneak around and make a fake Yahoo username so my parents would never find me. I don’t remember what it was anymore but it was for sure embarrassing so I’m just grateful my brain threw that memory out.

Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? OMG this survey is so long. I put it on my left hand.

Do you have a bull ring through your nose? Nope, no piercings.

Do you and your dad get along? Better than my mom and I.

Can you see your purse right now? Nah, it’s in my room upstairs.

Are you wearing any perfume? What kind? I am not. I haven’t had a reason to in a while.

Are there products in your hair? Just shampoo and conditioner.

When you get colds, do you use nasal spray to help get your nose unstuffy? No. Whaaaat, those exist? I just blow my nose or just live through the stuffiness.

Do you actually like sneezing? I love it, it’s such an underrated sensation lmao. It feels better when you’ve actually been needing to sneeze for a while and it finally comes through.

Have you taken a shower yet today? Nope, I usually take them at night.

Do you have one best friend who is always there for you? I have two.

Do you wear skirts a lot? Not really, I don’t like skirts because I feel exposed wearing them. I prefer shorts.

Do you wear sweatpants a lot? Nope.

How many pairs of jeans do you think you have? I can remember five pairs right now, but I have many other kinds of bottoms in my closet like culottes and leggings.

Do you like hoodies? They’re okay. I find them more comfortable if they belong to someone else, hah.

Big ones or the form fitting kind? Form-fitting if I’m buying for myself; big ones if I’m borrowing from Gabie.

Do you wear polo shirts a lot? I never wear them. My mom made me wear them often as a kid and it made me feel like a boy, so I’ve kinda had a predisposition to be wary of them as I got older since I was teased frequently enough about being a tomboy as a kid as it is.

Did you ever actually have a rubber duck? I think we probably did.

Are you one of those people who claim to live with no regrets? I have one big regret and the rest of my ‘regrets’ are small and are stuff like “I regret not picking up food on my way home because I’m now hungry.” The way I’ve always thought is that I did the things I did before because I chose to do them and I was happy to do them, and I’ve honestly felt barely any regret even though things didn’t turn out the best. There’ve been mistakes but I’ve just chosen to learn from them instead of regretting them at the same time. Do you love your computer? Love it.

Do you drink coffee? Yeah. I’ve been doing it a lot this quarantine but I think it’s been giving me headaches, so I stopped for now.

Do you basically like all of your clothes? No. There are some at the bottom of the pile that I’m no longer crazy about anymore.

Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? My mom. She tends to know what looks best on me, and she also pays for the clothes hahaha.

#survey #surveys

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surejo · 4 years

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( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot )

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her.

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes.

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8.

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco,

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic,

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie,

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved!#there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!!#i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring.#also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird????#we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

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camphorror · 4 years

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I would love to hear your take on Elizabeth Loftus I can't stand her ass but I don't know anything about psychology

ok so the really td;lr version: she is a memory researcher who basically dedicated her entire career on the claims that people can have “false memories” and about like implanting memories to people and whilst she did studies about like eyewtiness’ account or recall bias (i think that’s how it’s called in english?) with stuff like ‘people watched a video of a car accident and the way the researches asked them questions affected the way they answered and remembered and stuff like ‘impalnting memories’ that the subject got lost in the mall and then she evily applies it so actual serious issues like child abuse. her whole career is basically trying to discredit people who recall child abuse. she was associated with this evil organisation (that just got dissolved thank god) called the false memories syndrome foundation. afaik she was like an ‘expert testimony’ in some trials, keeping up with being on the evil side of history. another tidbit, (which i found out last year whilst reading a true crime book, and is what got me to look into her bullshit more seriously last year), was that during the 70s she testified FOR ted bundy in his trial for kidnapping carol daronch. so that is the side that this woman is on. my take on her is that she is an evil human being who either has really sinister motivations or just does not really care about people… i was talking with my friend about her after class today and about the studies she was involved in that she mentioned in the video of her we had to watch (which were.. very weak for the point she was trying to make), and truly if everything she was involved in was in a different context then maybe it would feel like it can contribute something to our understanding of human memory, but she just focuses her research on being awful and instead of doing things for good she’s like *endlessly involved with people who basically say people who disclose child abuse are liars*

sorry that it is kind of weak as a reply because im sure there are others who can give better info and even like more coherent opinions

#tw child abuse #tw csa #Anonymous #asks

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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601.

How long has loneliness been your friend? >> So, before I take this survey, let me just say that someone should check on joybucket @ bzoink dot com because... oof. That being said, she makes some of the more interesting surveys so I’ma try taking this one anyway... Loneliness is something I’m learning to live with, and not try to solve all the time. I feel more stressed out when I try to fix it or bury it than if I just... sit with it, and let it exist. After all, I’ve felt lonely on-and-off for most of my life, I know the feeling isn’t going to destroy me. No point in being afraid of it.

When was the last time you remember not being lonely? >> I mean, I don’t feel lonely right now. It’s not a constant feeling, it comes and goes as it pleases.

How many guys have attempted to rape you? >> I think I’ll skip that.

When was the last time a cop committed a crime against you? >> Never. Thankfully. Trying to get justice against a police officer is like, literally fucking impossible in this country.

Who was the last person you missed? >> ---

Who is the last person you heard about who died in a car accident? >> I... uh, I don’t know? Probably someone on the news.

Have you ever lost a best friend in a car accident? >> No.

Have you ever had a woman try to seduce you sexually? >> Sure.

Do you ever pretend to not be so alone, or are you honest about it? >> I’m honest about it to myself, but I don’t go telling other people about it. That would make me uncomfortable and probably just intensify the feeling.

Are you wearing leggings right now? >> Nope. (Also, lmao, the mood switch...)

Do you wish you had a new pair of fuzzy pajamas? >> Nah. I mean, I love fuzzy pajamas, but I can’t wear them. I get too hot. :(

When was the last time you went to church? >> Easter.

Do you wish there were a good church in your town? >> There are multiple progressive, service-oriented, open-and-affirming churches in this city.

Do you wish you lived in a Christian bubble? >> I sure don’t.

What is your favorite Avril Lavigne song? >> I don’t have one.

Who are five of your favorite down-to-earth singers? >> I don’t know what a down-to-earth singer is.

Is your hair messed up? >> Nah.

Do you wish you could let your anger show, and not hold it in? >> I have no reason to want to vent my anger to other people. It’s really not productive.

Why do you hold in your anger? >> I don’t hold it in so much as I just... keep it to myself. I process it internally, not externally. Any time I try processing it externally, people (me or others) and/or objects get hurt/broken.

Name someone who sexually harassed or abused you. Have you ever told anyone about this? If not, do you want to? Do you fear that no one would believe you? >> I’m not going to name him. I’ve told multiple people about it. At least two of them did not believe me, and treated me either like a liar or like someone making a big deal out of nothing.

What's one thing you hate about being a woman? >> I’m not a woman. One thing I hate about society is that I have to be called one.

Do you wish you could be yourself without restraint? >> I am myself. Any restraint I employ is for good reason (like, you know, not being hurtful or needlessly disruptive), not because I feel pressured to stifle myself.

Name one good person you know. >> Meh.

Who would you like to talk to ? >> A good listener.

Was your last crush a good person, or a heartbreaker? >> ---

Have you ever had a crush like you back and be with you? >> Hm.

Have you ever told someone you had a crush on them? >> Sure.

Has anyone ever tried to force you to pretend you were suicidal, so they could get money? >> No??? This is... a really unfathomable situation for me. I need some more context.

Who do you wish you could trust? Name one person. >> ---

Has anyone ever accused you of being gay, then tried to seduce you? >> No.

Would you be more open about your faith if it weren't for persecution? >> ---

Do you dream about being loved? >> No.

Who do you love? Name one person . >> Can Calah.

Do you wish your parents loved you? >> Yeah, I really do, actually.

Would you be ok if your parents loved you? >> I mean, I don’t know how much of my life that would change, but it sure would be nice.

Why does everyone hate you? >> I don’t know anyone that hates me. If they do, it’s not my problem.

Do you stand up to bullies, or give in to them? >> The last time I was bullied was so long ago that I can’t even fathom what bullying would look like in my present life.

Do you think it's ok to last out at someone when you're angry? >> No, I don’t.

Why are you so nice? >> I’m not, though.

Do you realize that most people taking this survey are probably living in a bubble? >> I don’t believe that at all and I’m not sure why you do.

Do you know anyone who's not selfish? >> Most people I know are a pretty logical mix of self-serving and other-serving. Then some other people are more other-serving than self-serving, to a harmful degree.

Do you know any true Christian women? Women who aren't selfish or rude? >> Sigh...

When was the last time you had a hug? Can you remember how many years it's been? >> I don’t mean to be glib, but like... I’m almost amused at the sheer pathos in this survey. Anyway, uh. I get hugs a lot inworld and it’s nice.

When was the lsat time you switched doctors? and do you like your new one? >> ---

Have you ever overdosed? >> I’ve tried.

Do you wish all the people who have tried to kill you would get caught? >> I don’t think anyone’s tried to kill me, although one person did threaten it. I wish he’d gotten caught for multiple things he’s done to me, but that’s water under the bridge now.

Who was the last couple that you'd expect to get divorced (that did)? >> ---

Who was the last person that you'd expect to turn on you (that did)? >> ---

Name a church that just wants your money. >> I mean, I’m sure I don’t know.

What's the last church you left because of the way you were treated? >> ---

How bad do you want a mother? >> Sometimes I want one really badly, but most of the time I’m accustomed to the fact that I’ve never had one and I never will.

Do you pretend that you don't want a mother? >> I’m sure I did when I was younger, but I’m past pretending at this point. It’s just not as relevant anymore.

Do you wish you could afford make-up that wouldn't get ruined when you cry? >> This just makes me think of Jenna Marbles, I’m sorry.

What was the last church you loved that closed down? >> None, but the church down the road from us, where we go to Christmas and Easter services (and where I used to go when I was trying out Christianity again for the last time) got a new pastor and I’m mad lmao. I liked the old one!!!

Who was the last friend that betrayed you? >> ---

Name 6 people who have tried to kill you. >> Six??????

Do you think calling gossip "tea" is stupid? >> I really do not, and I don’t want to talk to anyone who thinks like this.

Who told you that reaching out to friends for support when you're grieving a loss is a sin? and is this person a leader at a church? >> You know, out of all the surprising-sounding things in this survey, this is the least-surprising. Christianity is full of horror stories and this just fits right in. (But no, I’ve never been told this.)

Do Avril Lavigne songs speak to you? >> I mean, I just don’t listen to Avril Lavigne, so I haven’t had the opportunity to find out if any of her songs speak to me.

Do you hate being poor? >> Sometimes I do, most of the time I deal with it with as much dignity as I can manage.

Were you bullied at youth group? >> Not to my recollection.

Which church has the biggest bullies? >> ---

Who lied to the police about you because they were mad at you? >> (The way these are worded, it’s like these are common occurrences? ... Are they? I need more people to take this survey.)

Do you trust any of your firends on facebook? >> Most of the people I have added on facebook (you know, all 20 or whatever) are people I trust in at least some capacity. Not necessarily the full capacity, but like... enough, I guess.

Are you a healer? >> No.

Do you have supernatural gifts? >> I have whatever I have.

Does anyone appreciate you? >> Sure.

What would you like to tell someone? >> Meh.

Do you look your age? >> According to popular opinion, I look younger.

Are you sleepy? >> No.

Do you hallucinate? >> Not unless I’ve taken something that makes me hallucinate.

Have you ever seen a spirit? >> Maybe.

Can you see spirits? >> Doubtful.

What do you want for Christmas? >> Money.

What's something the Lord healed you of? >> He hasn’t healed me of anything. We don’t have that kind of relationship.

Do you wish you didn't have to keep your faith a secret? and that you weren't persecuted? >> ---

Do you wish you were loved? >> Hmm.

Do you pretend you don't want to be loved? >> I used to, when I thought that was the way to protect myself.

Can remember how many years it's been since someone loved you? >> It hasn’t been that long.

#surveys #survey #random survey #or like. depression survey. because y'all...

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