#okay okay ill stop being negative | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

xxbimbobunnyxx · 6 months

Text

You’ll Never Be A Burden

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

Summary: When you can’t get out of bed, answer your phone, or shake the feeling of hopelessness your boyfriend is there to reassure you that he will always be there for you no matter what. WK: 1.6k moodboard

Warnings: Talk of mental illness, depression, feeling unloved/unworthy of love, not being able to get out of bed, insomnia, food mention, hurt/comfort, Eddie being the sweetest sweetie. Just all around this is centered around mental illness and how it feels to be too depressed to get out of bed. Please let me know if I missed any. Also I wrote this in one sitting so there’s probably typos. 18+MDNI

A/N: I don’t specifically mention a certain mental illness but for me this is how it feels when I’m having a BPD episode. So for me this symbolizes borderline depression but it can apply to any type of depression or mental low. I’ve been really going through it lately, so I just harnessed how I feel into writing this and it was very therapeutic. I wish Eddie could come hold me.

You weren’t sure how long you’ve been laying in bed in between awake and asleep at this point. A few hours? A day? Two? All you know is that the clock on your nightstand reads 2:48AM and you have been trying to force your brain to shut off since it read 8PM. You tried everything to calm the war raging inside your mind. You took so many deep breaths at this point you lost count, you pulled all the blankets over your head and tightened your body into the smallest ball you possibly could, you rocked back and forth while you repeated your mantra of “you’re okay” to yourself over and over again. But no matter what you did you couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from swimming around inside you.

You hated when you got like this. Overcome by this feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of shame. Loneliness. Not being able to shake the feeling as if you’re a burden to everyone around you. So you isolate yourself. Not wanting to drag anyone down with your negativity, not wanting to lash out at the people who are just trying to help you, not being able to bear the feeling of being alone in a room full of people.

Your friends had all texted and called you, social media notifications and voicemails piling up. Not even being able to muster up the energy to pick up the phone and respond to the one person you knew would make you feel better. So instead you thought of him. The way his beautiful eyes lit up when a smile spread across his lips. The way it felt to have his arms around you, his smell, his soothing voice. It’s what kept you going on days like this. Him.

Yet you couldn’t bring yourself to pick up the phone. To ask him to come hold you. You were embarrassed, embarrassed of the disaster your house has become, embarrassed of your unbrushed teeth and messy hair, the pajama pants that felt like they were stuck to your body. You didn’t want him to see you like this. He’s only ever seen you like this once, and he was amazing, perfect even. But to this day you beat yourself up over those days he took care of you, washed you, held you while you sobbed, read to you in exaggerated voices until you dozed off with your head in his lap and his fingers in your hair.

You know he wouldn’t mind, that he was happy to help you, be there for you. But you were so scared of him seeing you differently and changing his mind about you. You were terrified that if he saw the real you, truly, that he would leave. You’d become too much, too little, never the right amount, just like you always did.

That’s why when you heard a knock on your door your heart race picked up, you felt your skin flush, because you knew it was him. You knew he’d come, you knew he’d be worried and you can’t decide if worrying him to the point that he showed up at your door or just texting him back was worse. You heard him knock lightly on the door a few more times before you heard the key you had given him turning the lock.

“Baby? Are you here? I just came to check on you… haven’t heard from you since yesterday morning and I was starting to worry.”

His voice became louder as he talked, his footsteps padding down the hall to your bedroom door. Your head was still shoved under your blankets so you didn’t see him but you heard the knob turn and the door swing open.

“Sweetheart…”

Eddie’s heart nearly shattered when he opened your bedroom door. Your room was trashed, the black out curtains drawn blocking out the moonlight, and even your fairy lights you always had on, even in the night, were shut off. He couldn’t see you, but he could see the outline of you and hear your breathing. He walks over to your bed and sits on the side next to the lump of blankets you’ve buried yourself in. His hand comes up and runs along your side and it causes you to jump.

“Baby… please let me help you? Let me take care of you. I know you’re scared of being a burden but you’re never a burden to me.” He continued to run his hand up and down your body, the feeling already causing your body to subconsciously relax just the tiniest bit. “Can you come out? Please? I wanna see my girl.”

“I look horrible Eddie… I don’t want you to see me like this.” You pull the blanket tighter against you, shutting him out no matter how loud your body screamed at you to just throw yourself into his arms.

“I’ve seen you wasted, vomiting your guts out in Harrington’s bathtub, it can’t be much worse than that baby. Come oooonnnnn pleeeseee. I’m not above begging.”

He chuckles, his hand squeezing your hip lightly before it resumes caressing you. You sigh, pulling the blanket back just enough to peak your eyes out and him and your heart swells. He’s so beautiful, just the sight of him made butterflies erupt in your stomach. Just being near him made you feel just a little bit more alive. He pushes the blanket the rest of the way off your head, smoothing your hair out of your face.

“There’s my beautiful girl. Hi baby.”

He cups your face in his hand, running his thumb along your sweaty cheek, not caring if you think you look awful, you’re always gorgeous to him. Even like this. Especially like this. Raw and real. He wants you to feel safe with him when you’re in this low place. He wants to sink down to your level and pull you back up with his hand in yours. Eddie would do anything for you. He knows that scares you, he knows you want to believe him but it’s hard to fight the feeling that he’s going to abandon you. But he will do whatever it takes to prove you wrong. To prove that he isn’t like everyone else. To prove that he will stay.

“Hi.” Your voice comes out a scratchy and whiney and it makes you even more embarrassed than you already are. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for sweetheart. I’m here for you, always. I brought your favorite snacks, bubbles, and your favorite teddy bear, me. Come here, let me hold you.”

He pushes the blanket back further and you shiver when the cool air of your room hits your body. He holds his arms out to you and your whole body tingles. He’s here for you. He wants to be here for you, and even though that terrifies you, the soft look on his face makes you feel safe. He makes you feel safe. You push yourself up and he grabs you by the forearms pulling you into his lap and cradling you like a small child.

As soon as his arms are around you the floodgates open, sobs leaving your entire body shaking while your tears soak Eddie’s t-shirt. He doesn’t say anything for a while, just holds you while you cry, running his hands through your tangled hair, caressing your skin under your oversized shirt, kissing on your tear stained cheeks. After a while your sobs turn to small cries before they finally stop.

“It’s okay baby girl, you’re okay. I’m here for you, okay? Let me run us a nice bath, afterwards you can eat something, only if you want, if not that’s okay, I just want you to drink some water for me okay?”

“Okay Eddie… thank you, I-“

“Shh, you don’t have to thank me and you don't need to apologize, I’m your boyfriend and I love you, let me be here for you.” He smiles sweetly at you, rubbing the remaining tears from your cheeks and gathering you in his arms.

Eddie spends the night making good on his promises. He pampers you in the bath, washing you and brushing your hair, even putting lotion on your skin afterwards. He puts your comfort movie on tv in the living room so you can lay on the couch while he makes your safe meal. He doesn’t push you to talk, he knows you will when you’re ready. He holds you and tells you he loves you while he makes commentary on your favorite movie. When you finally start to feel sleep creeping up on you he ushers you back to your bed, the sheets now changed because he insisted it wasn’t a big deal. He holds you tight, and kisses you over and over again. He even gets you to giggle and pulls a genuine smile out of you a few times.

As you lay there in the love of your life’s arms you feel less hopeless. You feel less alone. You feel your body start to warm inside from the tips of your toes all the way to your nose as he places a gentle kiss on it. You feel safe. You regret not calling him sooner but the fact that he came without you even asking makes it even more special to you. Your mind can tell you he doesn’t care all it wants, because he’s always there to tell you he does.

“I love you angel, get some rest, okay? I’ll be here when you wake up. I’ll always be here.”

“I love you Eddie. I know you told me not to thank you, but thank you, for being here for me. For being you.” You nuzzle your face into his neck, placing a gentle kiss there before you doze off into a peaceful sleep. In the arms of someone you know loves you.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie Munson fluff #eddie munson hurt/comfort #Eddie Munson x fem reader #Eddie Munson one shot #Eddie Munson fanfiction

534 notes · View notes

bunniekittiee · 6 months

Text

Bi-Han x Fem. Reader (as well as general headcanons)

Alright alright the Bi-Han headcanons was a success so ykw I’ll bless you all again. Also this is my depiction of Bi-Han so if you think I can tweak it and make it better then by all means let me know!

CW: mentions of eating problems, anxiety, illness, chronic illness, a little nsfw, nothing too crazy

Hair combing is an intimate ordeal.

He does not let anyone else touch his hair besides himself and you. He trusts you completely to comb his hair and even put it up for him.

He thinks you do it better than him, but he can manage it himself if needed.

He sighs with relief when his hair is let down, feeling his s/o’s fingers gently massage his aching scalp. It feels so good to him, he loves it.

Bi-Han does like the quietness. Especially after a long day of Grandmaster duties and irritation.

So if it is quiet during this time, he can close his eyes and almost fall asleep as you caress his hair and take care of him.

Sometimes he has fallen asleep when you are doing this.

If you were to ask Bi-Han to bathe together, he would silently go insane for a second and then agree.

Despite seeing you naked more than often, it still gives him butterflies in different scenarios that isn’t inherently sexual. Such as bathing.

He thinks you are beautiful, do not ever be negative about yourself around Bi-Han because he will immediately worry.

If you are worried about gaining weight, he is already overthinking that you will stop eating.

So instead, Bi-Han gently encourages you to train with the other Lin Kuei if you feel that you want to lose weight or prevent yourself from gaining weight.

No, he does not think you are fat at all, do not twist his words.

But Bi-Han is the type of man to give you solutions to help you but not in a rude way.

He just tries to encourage and give you options.

He will also suggest yoga with Kuai Liang. Kuai Liang usually meditates, but he will divulge himself in yoga for you if you are interested.

He does not like to see you sad or upset about your self image. It makes him feel helpless.

Bi-Han can handle a physical threat because he can eliminate it, but when it is a mental threat such as self image issues, depression, etc., Bi-Han finds himself unable to see straight.

Out of his brothers, I see Bi-Han struggling with some anxiety.

Like I said in my previous headcanons, Bi-Han worries for his s/o because she is his weakness. If anyone were to take her away from him, he would practically engulf everything in a blizzard.

I see Bi-Han having anxiety about his brothers as well, whether they are safe or going to be okay.

As much as Bi-Han shuns Smoke, he still worries for him. Smoke is the ‘baby’ of them all, and if he were to see him in any form of pain, he is already wanting to murder the person who inflicted it upon him.

That being said, if you have any sort of health issues that will literally send Bi-Han over the edge.

He is constantly having the medics check you over and he will be riddled with so much anxiety he will stop eating and sleeping well.

God forbid you have a chronic illness or anything at all, at that point Bi-Han will just have an aneurysm.

As tough as his exterior is, Bi-Han can be sensitive.

Please do not call him names, he doesn’t even do that to you and it will hurt his feelings.

He will distance himself and feel melancholy until you apologize. He doesn’t like it when you are rude or mean to him.

As I mentioned in my other previous headcanons, he does get snappy himself so he knows that he is a bit of a hypocrite.

If you were to communicate your feelings to him, whether it is your frustrations, sadness, or anger, he will understand and try his best to relax you and make you feel better.

You do the same for him, so it’s time that he repays that favor.

Bi-Han can be extremely busy with his duties and he knows you hate being cooped up for so long.

So he will allow Smoke and Kuai Liang to take you out, whether that’s for a walk or to Madame Bo’s, Bi-Han just wants to make sure you are happy.

I don’t know where people got the “jealous of my brothers being around my s/o” belief from, but Bi-Han trusts his brothers completely.

He has to, they go into battle and on quests together, they have to deeply trust each other and have a strong bond with one another.

So he lets his brothers take you out, he does not get jealous of that. They would never do anything to you, and Bi-Han knows it is completely out of character for them to do anything in the first place.

So yes, he lets you go out with his brothers and enjoy your time together when he is busy.

Again, he knows you get cooped up and he wants you to have some freedom.

His brothers love that you have somewhat changed Bi-Han but in a good way.

He is somewhat nicer to Smoke and refrains from telling him he is not part of their family. Last time he did, you gave him the absolute worst glare that even Kuai Liang felt his stomach turn.

Bi-Han is gentle as possible with you. His hands have killed and hurt many, he would hate to inflict the same pain on you.

You are like a flower to him, a delicate and precious lively being.

You have softened Bi-Han in many ways, and many appreciate what you have done.

#mk bi han #bi han #bi han x reader #bi han x you #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat #mk1 2023 #mk1 #mk sub zero #mk smoke #mk scorpion #bi han headcanon #bi han sub zero #bi han mk #bi han x y/n

495 notes · View notes

waybeforeyourtime · 2 months

Text

This isn't directly related to YR but I want to bring it up after I've seen way too many negative comments about Edvin backing away from fans.

If you say or imply anything negative about someone for backing away from a space where they are harassed daily, then you suck.

Sometimes actors have a serious threat against them. Like this one. Sometimes, they can't tell you when law enforcement is first involved. Sometimes they simply aren't ready to discuss it and might never be.

But.. sometimes it's simply the pressure they feel from fans.

I know I'll never change the obsessive fans' minds. They have a mental illness that makes them unable to stop themselves. But oh I've seen many people, who should 100% know better, cross so many lines.

Harassment includes positive, yet extremely personal comments as well. Imagine every time you signed on you had hundreds of people telling you that you saved their life, that you are the only thing making them happy, asking them to talk to you, asking you extremely personal questions.

That would stress most people out, even those without an anxiety disorder. The comments are well-meaning but for the person receiving them, they are overwhelming. So, someone doesn't have to only be receiving hateful comments to want to take a break.

There there's stalking friends'/families' accounts, digging in deep for photos from years ago, looking for any sign of the actor or worse who they're romantically involved with. If the actor wants you to know, they'll tell you. That's it. It's that simple. So, please, please don't do this. Every actor I've talked to about this topic told me that it feels so creepy and extremely violating.

Yet, in fandom, we've come to consider that okay and normal. Just part of being a fan. All fans do it. Well, I'm here to tell you that they don't, you've simply found an echo chamber of fans who think like you.

In this fandom, it just blows my mind - given the canon material - that any fans have crossed these lines. Some people have praised Edvin for his portrayal of Wilhelm's anxiety and for being frank about his own and now have turned on him because he's backed off social media, accusing him of 'moving on' and 'not caring about YR anymore.'

tl;dr Actors are human. They are not objects that exist for your entertainment only. Their personal lives are not reality shows for you to watch. They don't owe you anything more than what is in their job description.

If you know your behavior is wrong, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you can't stop yourself, please talk to a mental health professional. Don't spiral into being one of these people.

#young royals #young royals fandom #edvin ryding #omar rudberg #fandom rant

198 notes · View notes

kuni-is-daddy · 10 months

Note

Okay, but Lesser Lord!Reader riding Scara and him praising them and saying how lucky he is to be ridden and pleasured by a god like them. Just fluffy, soft sex with Scara, and maybe a bit of brat taming.

This man has such a chokehold on me

SUB!WANDERER X LESSOR LORD FEM!READER PART 4?

featuring:? A bit of paimon and the traveler(Can be aether or lumine, didnt use a specific gender)

//Lessor lord Y/n Teases with the name Hatguy, Sabzeruz Festival Event Spoilers!, Use of mommy~

word count: 1.43k

Scara masterlist! Scara x Lessor lord masterlist

"What? You think im TRYING to think the worst of lessor lord y/n? Incase you've forgotten Traveler..Im not a saint." wanderer scoffed while retrieving the archives of Sachin's research from paimon. "Tch- Ugh- Paimon thinks your being pretty harsh HAT GUY! be nice to y/n or paimons gonna give you a UGLY NICKNAME! She gave you a education and healthcare!" the floating child stomped her feet. "Because im her prisoner, you lowly creature. And healthcare is free in sumeru, Dont need it anyway, im a puppet incase your so dum to remember. She wouldnt-" A cool lavender scented air coated the hot desert. Stopping the puppet as he remembered the familiar sent. "You think so.. Should i treat you as my prisoner hat guy?"

You walked up towards your group of friends and 'prisoner' as your caped swayed throughout the breeze. Taking the files from hatguy with a smirk on your face. "Hah. You already do, Having me run errands for you like a dog. But if doing this gives me worth. Then so be it." He said while looking down at you. "Is that what this is about hat guy? You want to feel worthy in the eyes of a god~" With your free hand you tugged at his feathered ornament. Smoothly rubbing along the prickles. Paimon and traveler looked with flustered expressions at your teasing. "You know hat guy~ I was hoping you could make some friends but..I guess that didnt work out hm? Busy making enemies with your saviors-" "Unnecessary. I dont need anymore reasons to be indebt to you." He placed his warm hand along your arm. Watching you tinker with his worth. "Then we can start off with you being a scholar how about that? Even prisoners have a right to education." Paimon coughed at the interaction, "I- uhm Y/N? as the god of wisdom. what do you plan to do with sachins research? It is 'negative' wisdom after all." You gazed and pulled away from his touch and began flipping through the archive. "Well paimon, As the god of wisdom I have to guide everyone to wisdom, even good or bad. But I will seal away his knowledge as his ideals are more deemed as corrupted and-" "Tch. Talk about a speech, What about mine huh? Is that why you have me doing this? Because i have 'corrupt' knowledge and see me as a pawn?" You sighed at his interruption, then smirked at the choice of words. "Well..I can help you with your 'corruption' myself, Mr hat guy~" You closed the book roughly, making the two snap out of their disturbed daze. "Paimon, Traveler. Come by the akademiya later today and ill have him drop off the rest of your things regarding the festival. Until then~" You greeted them goodbye with a smile. With a flick of your finger the wanderer wasnt too far behind you. Mumbling and giving death glares to his 'saviors' over another task he had to do.

---

Thunder and lightning struck through your blurry view of sumeru city, You sat at Wanderers small desk writing about what interested on you sachins research for his thesis. How could a wealthy man be so bothered by society? One that he technically can change with a bag of mora. But you had your own changes to worry about. Apep, a former ruler of sumeru that existed since the start of the Heavenly principals. With all that knowledge the dragonette had, many of your questions could be answered without the use of irminsul. Along with eternal protection for your nation. You just needed a way..some sort of 'contract' to get that information from apep. "Ugh, what am i thinking..Im acting like morax and Ei with these ideals." You laid your bare head on the desk. Tapping your pen while thinking of ways to get more from the dragon.

After what felt like never ending rain, you heard a click of the doorknob and a light dangle of bells. "Well. How did it go? I trust that you gave them what they needed. Hat guy?" The puppet walked into the room. Brushing off the water on his hat. "Tsk. In the rain if that makes you feel any better..And would you stop calling me that? There's no need." He placed his hat on the hanger then laid on your side of the bed, Already undressed into a shirt and shorts. "Hm.. But I like it~" You pulled the chair back, turning around to face the lean puppet. "I never thought the god of wisdom would be so childish..." he sighed. "Don't you like it? the honor of having your nickname picked out by a god." you got up out of your chair and began walking towards the bed. The puppet stayed silent as you climbed onto his body.

"Aren't you lucky Scara. The god of wisdom treating you so well, giving you a home, education, anything you've wanted." His cock twitched in his pants at the name. Your cape swayed gently on his legs as you positioned yourself on top of him. "I-I told you before, it's unnecessary. I'm your pris-" before he could get another word out you leaned down and laid kisses along his neck. Sinking further into the pillow as he covered his muffled moans. "Y-y/n you- ah..." "Is that all you think you are hatguy? The prisoner of a god...I think your worthy of more..." You whispered in his ear as your clothed clit rubbed back and forth against his crotch. "F-fuck...shut up..stoph..saying..that..~" he trailed his hands along your top while you sucked at his neck. Recklessly tugging at the buttons that kept your cape hooked. "Mmm..your such a brat hat guy...maybe you don't deserve it." You flicked his hand off your torn cape and began pulling away from his hot body. "N-no! Wait..." He sat up as you crawled off the bed "... I want it..y/n.." you crossed your arms. "Hmm..I don't know hat guy~ what's the magic word?" You grinned as he gripped onto the sheets in frustration, covering his embarrassingly hard cock. "Maybe.. I'll just go finish up in my room~ you seem a little tired-" "P-please.. I want it y/n.. I cant- i-" suddenly you smashed your lips against his, the both of you fell back on the pillow as he wrapped his arms around you with no hesitation. Exchanging spit as the puppets body began to heat up between each breath. "Hah.. more~ more please" "mhm? what do you want scara~ mmm how do you want your god to make you feel good?"

"I- inside...f-fuck me.." you sighed at his words. "Such a vulgur puppet you are.. wanting your god to fuck you like this.." you parted lips, then looked down to his bulge. "We can't have down here being covered, can we?" You pulled his pants down to reveal his wet length, stained in precum. "Your so big scara..~" you pulled your skirt and underwear off, climbing ontop of him once more, both of your pre oozing onto eachother while you guided his length to your hole, brushing the tip along it. "Hah...fuck..d-dont tease me...I-" you sunk his length deep inside of you while a moan spilled from your lips "Ah~ your doing so well scara~ filling up your god just like that~" his hips buckled up at your praise. "Y-y/n your so warm i- oh fuck!" He gripped onto your waist, pushing you farther into his length as you began riding him, biting your lips from the ecstasy of his tight grip. "Mmm your such a good boy scara, taking your reward for being so good for me, for your god~" "Ah~ yes, s' good! Just for you! Don't stop mommy~ please!" The puppets body began to heat up even more. He trained himself to breathe to fit in with humans, but not like this..not so roughly and begging like a dog in heat from the pleasure he felt. "Such a lucky boy aren't you? Do you wanna cum inside your god?" "Y-yes! Please- wanna cum! Let me mommy! I'll be a good prisoner- a good puppet! A-anything please~" you giggled at the way the once false god dropped his pride, the pleasure from being inside you and feeling loved was too much for him. You did give him everything, everything he ever wanted from a person, from his god. "Shit...Then I can't turn you down since you asked so nicely baby~ cum for mommy, cum for your god~" His nails stung into your skin while your moans echoed throughout your room. "Hah..oh God mommy I'm gonna- i- inside! It's coming!!" The puppets brain overheated and turned to mush from your warmth "mommy! I- im- AH~" with a few rocks of your hips he shot his load inside of you, coating his sticky and warm liquid along your walls. You rode out your high, dripping your own juices onto his own length and shirt while the puppet watched with practical hearts for pupils and a mouth leaking drool. Hazily as you shifted down to his dripping shaft and kissed at it with your wet lips. "Now im going to give you your reward, my prisoner~"

Some of you liked cat!subby scara so this was another subby scara one

And yes health care really is free in sumeru according to one of alhaithams voice lines about kaveh getting scammed💀🤭❌

Scara x Lessor lord masterlist

407 notes · View notes

rosewould · 1 year

Text

one way; cbg

part i | part ii | part iii

🖱️⤻ pairing; afab!reader x beomgyu 🖱️⤻ word count; 6.9k 🖱️⤻ genre; enemies 2 enemies, smut, & angst 🖱️⤻ synopsis; you liked soobin but he didn't like you back. you've come to terms with this and moved on, but beomgyu hasn't. he's very sure he's onto you 🖱️⤻ warnings; hate sex, mean!gyu, slut shaming, breath play, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, post orgasm torture (beomgyu rec), dubcon (just in case), blood (nothing crazy at all), pain play, breast play, biting, hair pulling, choking, spitting, unrequited crush, failed confession, you might hate mc?, takes a while for beommie to appear

⌨️⤻ this was very similar to stress relief, I'm aware. That's why it's not a two parter (liar) or a taehyun fic. alsoo while writing this I couldn't stop thinking about what the sex sounded like outside the door. Imagine soobin eavesdropping and being like "????"

"I think it sounds a little empty here." Soobin chews on his thumbnail as he fixates on the monitor in front of him. The LED lights in his room splash warm purple behind him. The bright desktop illuminated his upper body. His brows were furrowed, jaw clenching and unclenching. Eyes sharp as he examined the screen. Looking just as enchanting as ever.

"When in doubt, dump in some harmonies and background vocals. That's my motto, at least." You mumble, almost like a zombie. Your brain was on autopilot as you stared at him for way too long.

"Yeah, you said that already." Soobin laughs before looking over at you. Your eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights. He can sense the awkwardness as he focuses back on the screen.

"I feel like I'm harmonied out. I have no clue what to put here that doesn't sound repetitive."

You stare blankly at the screen. It took some genuine effort not to look at him again. You didn't want him to think you were weird, but the warm feeling you got whenever you looked at him was intoxicating.

"I dunno, I usually just test shit out until something sticks. I'm not professional, I just kinda wing it."

"I wouldn't say that. I've heard your work. You sound pretty professional to me."

Your heart begins beating prominently in your chest. Gulping, you try your damnedest not to look over at him even though it feels like you could explode. You can't tell whether this feeling sucked or was euphoric. You clench your fists over your jeans.

"A-are you okay? Are you feeling ill??" Soobin leans closer to you, worry evident in his voice.

"I'm okay..." your voice came out quieter than you intended to.

"Ah..." Soobin sounded a bit disheartened, so you peer over at him. It was hard to tell what he was thinking, but you swore you could see a hint of disappointment. Maybe that was just you being needlessly anxious again about every seemingly negative reaction someone might be having towards you.

Your suspicion only grew as time went on. He joked around with you less. He seemed really tense. His sentences were shorter. He barely ever made eye contact with you.

This continued for two weeks. You weren't sure you could take this much longer. You were losing sleep. Did you weird him out that day? Or could he see right through you and felt uncomfortable with your obvious crush? Either way, it was stressing you out to a worrying degree. This had to end.

You texted him to meet you on the roof of your apartment complex. It was obscured from anyone below with a camera and crazy zoom, and it'd be obvious if anyone followed the two of you. It was time to finally find out what the hell was going on. You were still stressed out, but a part of you was foolishly excited.

You even had a sweet dream that he accepted your confession. High off the wonderful feeling that dream gave you, you were all smiles. Nervous smiles, but smiles nonetheless. You sit on the floor next to the door when your jittery nerves came to be too much. Your ears perk up when the door clicks open. You shoot up, smoothing your hands over your clothes. Behind the door is Soobin, brows knit together in clear stress.

"Hi, sorry if you were busy." You smile at him, movement a bit frantic as you bow.

"No it's fine, this will be quick." Soobin's expression is stern, yet he fails to meet your eyes.

Your heart drops, mouth hanging agape. You stand there wordlessly, your hands fidgeting with each other. It felt like a dark cloud loomed over you, suddenly blocking out the sun. You already knew what he meant by that, and what he was going to say. Should you run? No...

You smile bitterly. "Ah, I see. You don't have to say anything else. I understand."

When Soobin finally looks at you, a dim feeling of hope sparks up. You immediately extinguish the feeling.

"Listen," You clear your throat, pushing down the growing feeling of mortification and sadness, "You don't have to worry about me anymore, or I guess my feelings. I know that you still need my help with the new song. I can be professional about that. If I ever make you feel uncomfortable again, just let me know, okay?" You force a wider smile. A part of you hoped that he would accept the offer to still work with you in case he changed his mind.

"Oh! Um... okay. I'm not sure about working with you again just yet." Soobin trails off, pity evident in his voice.

Of course. He can see right through you, you idiot.

"You're right. It's selfish of me to even think that would be a possibility." You laugh awkwardly, shifting the weight from one leg to the other. "Don't worry about it. You know my number so you can call me if you need anything. You don't have to worry about me having ulterior motives."

--🖱️▷

You stare at the screen of your phone, the blue light illuminating your face in your otherwise dark room. You go through your photos and delete any pictures of or with Soobin. Just when you guys would've gotten close, you screwed things up with your stupid crush. Now on top of everything Soobin had to deal with, he has to worry about someone who has constant access to him making him uncomfortable. Mr. Park would most likely make the two of you work together again against his will. You should know how this feels, yet you behaved around him so recklessly.

The following morning your manager wakes you up earlier than normal.

"It's a Soobin day, let's go!"

You freeze, eyes wide in shock.

"Soo–? I thought I was off today." Your voice is gruff. You didn't need this stress so early in the morning.

"Mr. Park says that Soobin hasn't been making much progress with his song."

Yeah, you know. It's all your fault.

"He's gonna have the two of you work together more often."

You scratch at your head. This was gonna be difficult to explain, but you tried anyway.

"I'm sorry, my manager woke me up really early this morning, that was the first time I've heard of this."

"No, no! It's fine, I understand. I don't think you're up to something." Soobin waves his hands frantically in front of him, eyes wide.

"Okay, good." You wipe imaginary sweat from your forehead.

"Let's get started."

You and Soobin were back to normal... almost. You could tell he was still a bit wary. He kept side-eyeing you, and it was a lot more awkward. You couldn't blame him, you were thirty percent sure there were still buried feelings. They don't go away that easily. You sigh as the track plays which causes Soobin to quickly pause it.

"What? Is there something wrong??" Soobin was just as frantic as always. You chuckle. "No, all I did was sigh."

His anxious disposition fades as he begins to laugh. "Don't scare me like that."

You both laugh before fading back into that damn awkward state.

"Listen, thank you for being understanding. I know how hard it can be to like someone and be turned down." Soobin says, a hint of guilt in his voice. You look over at him in shock. "You experienced unrequited love? Who are they? Are they blind?"

Soobin looks away, clearly flustered again.

"Oh! Sorry. Too soon? I probably sound crazy." You look away, cheeks hot.

"Y-you don't. It's fine, don't worry about it." The tone of Soobin's voice sounds like he's disappointed. Again.

The atmosphere became ten times more awkward than it was before. You have to take it slow. You really value Soobin as a friend. You can fix this. Seeing Soobin more often was actually perfect for you. You couldn't avoid him forever, so might as well rip the bandaid off now. You look in your bathroom mirror, rinsing off your mask.

Looking into your own reflection, you repeat I like Soobin and that needs to change.

You plant your hands firmly on your sink, taking a deep breath. You close your eyes, reflecting on your situation. You have to sit in such close proximity to Soobin. Feeling his warmth. Smelling his scent. Seeing his smile, ugh those fucking dimples. You inhale shakily, clenching your eyes shut as you start to imagine Soobin closing in on you. Soaked in hues of red, green, and blue. His face so close that your noses touch.

You force your eyes open, slapping yourself across the face. This isn't going well. If you were a normal human being, you'd be able to just put yourself on the market, go on blind dates, and meet guys at bars. No, instead you had to practice 12 hours a day. Eat rabbit food. Endure this torture.

You ball your hands into fists and squeeze them tightly, nails embedded into your palm. For a moment you really considered quitting. Quitting everything. They're taking way too long to finally stick you into a group anyway. All while still capitalizing on your pre-existing fame.

You place your head into your hands, sighing heavily. You shouldn't quit. You've come this far, and your manager says that debut is very close.

That's what you have to focus on. Debuting. Yeah, your crush on Soobin could get him in big trouble, but what about you? Your dreams haven't even started, yet you were about to throw them away because of some boy? You look up from your hands and into the mirror.

"I'm ___." You repeat as you look into the mirror. "I'm ___!"

--🖱️▷

You confidently walk into Soobin's room. He looks up, face changing from shock to confusion.

"You look... comfy." Soobin remarks. You rest your hands on your hips, smiling goofily.

"I noticed that you're always dressed in comfy clothes so I decided 'what the heck'," You plop into the chair next to his, "and now that I've done so I understand why you do.".

He can't help but laugh at your strange confidence. "Did you eat some good food or something?" Soobin asks, opening his music editing software.

"No, I'm not you." You scoff, rolling closer to the computer. "Let's get this song finished!"

And finish you did, the song sounds better than you anticipated coming into this. It was all thanks to one method you stuck to. Whenever you felt your heart swelling, you thought about one of the things you disliked about him. You had a whole list full.

He was very soft, which is something you would also say is a pro. However, what if you come home after a shitty day and wanted to blow off some steam? You may not get much dick nowadays, but you still know what you need to get off. Missionary ain't cutting it. After thinking about his first con, they just came naturally. These were things you shoved into the back of your mind to prevent your pristine view of him from being sullied. Now, it's what you needed. Seeing him as the bossy mom friend who's a bit stuck up sometimes really helped.

A week was all Soobin needed to realize things were back to normal. Instead of the uncomfortable amount of compliments you threw at him, so eager to please, you were a lot blunter. Even a bit too blunt sometimes. Soobin wasn't complaining, it was what he was used to with his members.

Soobin was comfortable with you again and his members started to get closer to you as well.

"The song sounds amazing. Thank the lord, Soobin's rough draft was so horrible." Yeonjun tilted his chin into the air to prevent the food in his mouth from spilling while he spoke. Laughter erupts around you, even from Soobin who's scratching the back of his head.

"I didn't want to say anything... but yeah it was pretty bad." You nod, hissing at your own honesty.

"You didn't want to say anything because you had a crush on him." Beomgyu mutters, stirring his drink. The rest of the members point and laugh at you as you sit there, shocked. You had grown accustomed to the jokes, growing a thick skin after it wasn't as topical. To say it out loud would be a level of confrontation you weren't ready for, but you were pretty sure Beomgyu wasn't saying it in a joking manner. A part of you thought that he was actually putting you on the spot for some reason. But he was Beomgyu, he was a goofball. Plus, it's not like you still had a crush on Soobin.

"Beomgyu, I'm starting to feel like you don't like me or something." You laugh to offset any suspicions of an accusation, but you dart your eyes at him to watch his reaction. When you see his straight face staring back at you, your smile drops.

"What's up with this atmosphere?" Taehyun asks nervously.

"I just got chills..." Kai adds, cowering away from Beomgyu as if he was omitting cold air. Beomgyu ignores his members, taking a sip from his drink and keeping his eyes on you.

"I'm sorry about Beomgyu, I'm not sure what his problem is." Soobin sighs once you're back in his room. The two of you didn't even have a song to produce anymore, you were just enjoying each other's company.

"It's fine. Why are you even apologizing, you didn't do it." You snort as you nudge his arm. What you really wanted to say is that you understood Beomgyu's issue. If you said that out loud, you were scared that Soobin would think there was something to worry about, and there isn't. So you keep it to yourself and keep your distance from Beomgyu.

You did a pretty good job, only saying hi whenever you guys were in a room alone. Ignoring how he stared blankly at you and ignored your greeting. Laughed at his "jokes" that were just thinly veiled attacks on your character. Even though you remained friendly, you made sure not to stay in a room with him too long. Scurrying out before the members could leave you alone with him. You thought this would work in your favor, but it seemed like he was growing colder. His "jokes" no longer had a veil. He was just straight-up accosting you.

"It must be nice cooped up in Soobin's room alone where no one can call you out on your shit." His words seeped into your veins and slowly poisoned you. All with a little smug smile on his face.

"Beomgyu! Cut it out!" Soobin stands up, fed up with his accusations. You raise your hands, signaling for Soobin to calm down and sit back in his chair. "It's fine-" You say quietly.

"No, it's not! If you've got something to say then say it." Soobin cuts his eyes at the younger male. Finally, the anger that Beomgyu was feeling the entire time was reflected on his face. His face twisted in resentment and a bit of pity. He scoffs.

"You're the second oldest, yet you're so naïve."

Soobin grips the younger male by his shirt and you have to physically pry him off. "Soobin! Stop!"

"You should be saying this to him not me!" He looks at you in disbelief before turning his attention back to Beomgyu. "You think you know what you're talking about but you don't. Stay out of our business."

"Maybe you think I don't." Beomgyu keeps his eyes trained on Soobin as his finger points toward you. "But she does. Why else do you think she hasn't stuck up for herself."

All of the members look at you with confusion in their eyes. You gulp, feeling like you were standing in a dark room with one lone spotlight beaming down on you.

"I-I... I just... I don't want to cause any trouble-"

"Bullshit." He spat before leaving the room. He had a right to be worried about his friend, and that's why you didn't say anything. You didn't realize how guilty that made you look, though. The members keep their eyes on you, carefully watching as you fiddle with your fingers.

"I'm sorry... I really was trying to prevent any conflict," You sigh, failing to properly explain yourself, "I just keep digging a deeper hole."

"No, I know you more than he does. I can say confidently that I know you're not scheming behind my back. He's just a stubborn little brat." Soobin huffs, still fuming from the exchange.

Without his members staring you down your brain was quieter. Able to focus on all your worries more vividly in turn. You squeeze your eyes shut. "I don't want to come in between you guys. Please talk to him once you both calm down."

"He's the one that needs to–"

"Please? He's just looking out for you because he cares about you." You press your lips into a thin line, hoping it’s not too late.

-🖱️▷

"We talked and he wants to speak to you alone." annoyance is evident in Soobin's features as he stares at his monitor. Clenching his jaw, but this time not in concentration.

"R-really? Why?"

"I don't know." He throws his arms in the air, dropping them back to the desk shortly after. "He just insisted on trusting him. I don't."

You hug your body with a troubled expression tugging at your features. It really sucked hearing that he doesn't trust Beomgyu. That he trusts you more. He's only known you for less than a year. He's known Beomgyu for at least four. They were pretty close before you came along, and the thought of you ruining their relationship made you feel horrible. All because of a stupid crush.

"I'll talk to him."

Soobin tries to talk you out of it, insisting that you did nothing wrong and that he needs to stop being an asshole. You try to look for another way to explain how you feel but come up short. You sigh, deciding to reveal your thoughts. "If hanging out with you guys is ruining your relationship, I’d rather stay away altogether."

Soobin’s annoyance at Beomgyu fades after your confession. His words escape his brain as quickly as they appear. He’s realizing now how horrible it must feel to come in between friends.

“I want to fix this.” You add on, hoping he’ll come around. You chew on your lip, tightening your arms around your body as Soobin deliberates. He releases a hefty sigh.

"Okay. I understand." There’s a hint of stubbornness still lingering but he forces it to the wayside. You notice his inner turmoil and pat him on his back before standing up from your chair. He tells you that Beomgyu's in his room alone. You knock on the door and a tight voice beckons you in. When you slowly open it, you see Beomgyu at his computer.

"Close the door behind you." he says, not looking your way. His brows are furrowed, and you can’t tell if it’s because he’s aggravated or focused. You oblige, waiting for him to say something. He stands from his computer chair wordlessly and crosses his arms before you.

"I think you should stop coming around here." the words leave his mouth like they were nothing. Your heart drops, but you really didn't want to argue.

"I don't agree, Beomgyu." Though you know leaving might be the only option if all else fails, you selfishly still want to be here. You enjoy their company.

"So you think you've done nothing wrong?" he derides and you groan. "I never said that. I did make Soobin uncomfortable in the past and I was wrong for doing so." You finally say the words out loud and even after all this time they weigh on you. You hope it’s enough but looking at the determination on his face, you know it’s not.

"So you understand that it's fucked up that we should even worry about this? You even have the other members worried now.” His words are harsh and he puts no effort into sugarcoating them with his tone or expression. His eyes beat down on you as he hurls the words at you.

They give you pause, reconsidering your dynamic with the other until now. “They what? That can’t be right.” They seemed a little awkward yesterday after Beomgyu’s accusation, but it couldn’t be that serious. Your face pinches, trying to clear your thoughts but he keeps bombarding you with his onslaught of attacks.

“And what about you avoiding me? It’s obvious you’re hiding from the truth.” He crowds you until you’re backed against the wall. “N-no it’s because–”

“It’s obvious you’re guilty, but now there’s no running away. It’s time to tell the truth about your motives and leave us the fuck alone.” You flinch at his words, a glint of fire starting behind your eyes without your consent.

“I keep avoiding you because you’re a fucking asshole who’s constantly shitting on me.” You clench your eyes shut as you shoot the words at him. You really didn't want to feed into to this. You throw your fists against the wall behind you, heaving as more frustration fills you up before you can stop it. Beomgyu steps away to chuckle and you get a moment to breathe. But then he’s back to hovering over you with a glare as cold as ice.

“I’m a what?”

All you can do is breathe him in and look at him, he’s giving you no other choice. When your eyes wander he just moves back into your line of vision. Is this how he intends to get his way? “You’re an asshole–”

“I’m an asshole for telling you how it is?” He steps closer until he’s completely immersed in your bubble. The look of confusion on his face illustrates just how stupid he thinks you sound. You try to speak again but he interrupts you for the umpteenth time.

“Just leave. No one wants you here.”

“You don’t want me here! You can’t force me not to hang out with my friends.” You shoot back incredulously.

“Oh, your friends, right? It’s not that you’re so lonely and desperate for a boyfriend that you’re following Soobin around? You look pathetic, and just know that when Soobin gets tired of you, none of us are gonna jump to take his place.” The feeling of his breath fanning over your face fans the flames of your rage. Never in your life had someone said something so disrespectful to your face and barely blink an eye.

“How dare you–”

“You’re not gonna find a boyfriend here.” He sneers, smirking down at you like you’re a joke.

“Stop fucking interrupting me!” You erupt, shoving against his chest. He barely moves and he’s still all you can smell and see and hear. You can’t get away from his relentless attacks. He’s telling you to leave and yet he won’t back up so that you can breathe. “Soobin finished the song and yet you’re here all the time, hoping he’ll let you hop on his dick–”

Seeing red, you cock back before striking him across the face. The impact is louder than you expect, your anger had gotten the best of you. In the dim lighting of his room, you can still tell that you left a red mark on his cheek. This was really bad, if they didn’t think you were guilty before, they did now. Even Soobin would have to see Beomgyu’s side now. Before you can apologize or even fully panic your body is being shoved into the wall. He holds your hands above your head as a vein in his jaw quirks.

Your anger is instantly back in place. “Let me go.” You warn with your voice low.

“I didn’t think you had it in you.” There he goes, crowding you even further until his forehead is touching yours. You didn’t think it was possible for you to get this angry. You still for a moment as you connect the dots. He’s goading you. It’s evident by the sly smile on his face. Now all his members will see you as unhinged and Soobin will be broken free from the spell Beomgyu’s convinced you have him under.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? What have I ever done to you?” You rip your arms free only for him to grab your wrists again and hold them tighter this time.

“You’re just another one of those sneaky girls who try to weasel their way into our lives. You pretend to be all innocent, only wanting to be friends, and then you show your true colors. Just another desperate trainee. And you,” He gathers your wrists into one of his large hands before poking your forehead with his finger, “you keep sticking around like a parasite and actually managed to fool them. But I’m not stupid. I know a tacky groupie when I see one.”

You weren’t like that at all. You genuinely enjoyed their company and you weren’t even a fan beforehand. Even if you were, your feelings for Soobin were real. They weren’t built off of delusion, you fell for who he was as a person. Beomgyu has the power to paint you out as a crazed fan who managed to sneak past their defenses and the thought scared you. This wouldn’t just ruin your relationship with Soobin, if it gets back to your manager or any executives at the company you could get in serious trouble. You could possibly kiss debuting goodbye.

“You’re wrong and you’re too stubborn to see it. You refuse to listen to anyone, even your own leader!” You should probably lighten your tone but you were through trying to appeal to him.

“I’m stubborn? Says the one who can’t take no for an answer.”

“I did take no for an answer! You weren’t even there so how would you know?!”

“Soobin told us about you continuing to try afterward, you know?”

Your fire is snuffed out in a singular whoosh of air that whips through you. Your mouth drops open, but there are no rebuttals you have prepared to throw back at him. Imagining Soobin venting to his members about how annoying you are strikes a chord so sour you could cry. “Everyone knows how embarrassing you are.” He snickers and chips away at your dwindling composure.

His face is so close, you can feel the skin on his nose and his forehead when he leans closer to tempt you over that edge. You can smell his lotion, his toothpaste, his makeup, his cologne. It’s just him everywhere and you want it to stop. Your brain is overloaded and you’re blinded by your rage. You want to do something to him, something to ruin his face and his skin, but the message gets screwed up somewhere amidst your heightened emotions.

You crush your lips against his and he staggers backward only for a moment before freeing your hands and pushing you against the wall again. You suck harshly on his bottom lip and to make things more absurd, he lets you. Whether this was strengthening his case against you or not was entirely lost on you. You wanted to grab him, choke him, something. With a gasping breath you grip the nape of his hair and tug hard, sinking your teeth into his flesh. You pull back with hot tears dripping from your lashes as you glare up at his dark eyes. “I hate you.” You whisper shakily.

He heaves for a few seconds before initiating the kiss himself. His lips, his tongue, his teeth, you feel him everywhere just kissing and licking and biting you. It burns you so hot you think you’ll ignite. He draws your lip back with his teeth, biting hard enough to draw blood and a sharp shriek from you. You yank his head back by his hair and he grunts.

“You fucking bitch.” He hisses, exposing his hatred for you clear as day. You slap him again which makes his eyes go wild before he’s grabbing you by your shirt. The sound of the fabric ripping is loud and you gasp. You can’t get a word in before he’s ripping the front of your bra in half and his brutish hands are fondling your breasts. His lips are softer when he catches yours this time but only because he’s focused on sinking his nails into your flesh. You moan into his mouth, ashamed of how much the pain he’s causing is turning you on.

One hand grabs his face while the other grabs his neck. You drag your nails down his cheekbone and push your fingertips into each side of his neck. He inhales shallowly before restraining your arms again. With his grip on your wrists he yanks you closer. “If you know what’s good for you, you’d cut that out.” He growls, lip snarling and breath ragged. “You already put your hands on me three times and this time you left a mark. You’re not very bright, are you?” He asks as if he’s genuinely puzzled.

You poke your bottom lip out with your tongue. “You left a mark too, jackass. And how are you gonna explain my bra and shirt, huh? It’s my word against yours.” You breathe into a cocky laugh.

“They won’t believe you. I told you, they’re getting suspicious of you.” He’s putting up a front but you can tell he’s not confident in that theory. You try and tug your wrists free. “Well then let me go and let’s find out.”

“You’re really willing to ruin your career before it even starts?” He’s getting progressively more anxious which makes you smirk. His hand shoots up before you can make a snide remark, wrapping around your throat. He squeezes hard immediately, his thumb digging uncomfortably into your muscles. Your mouth drops open as you squirm against the wall. Your free hands grip his shirt and perplexingly pull him closer. “Shut the fuck up.” He watches you intently as you gradually lose oxygen, waiting a little after you start to panic before letting you go.

Your hands are instantly back in his hair and pulling him forward so your mouths crash together. Your noses bump and teeth clink but it only makes the both of you more riled up. You tug his head backward, not detaching from the kiss as you push him to his computer chair. He trips and falls into it and you fall on top of him. Your hips start rutting against him and he groans into the kiss. His fingers find your nipples again and he squeezes until pain shoots down your legs. He continues to pinch harder and harder until you’re making pained whimpers and more tears spring to your eyes.

Irked, you grab his face and squish his cheeks, lifting from the kiss to lick up the blood on his cheeks. You grind down on him with a shuddering breath when he starts to twist your sore nipples. “I wanna make you bleed again.” You laugh, officially brought to hysterics by the man below you.

“Hit me or scratch me again and you’ll regret it.” His voice is deeper than before and you can feel him growing under you. Before you felt ashamed but now you can see the vision. You ride his cock, shove him so deep inside you that his mind goes blank. He cums but you don’t stop. You just keep milking him until his eyes roll back and the only noises he can make are strained groans. The idea translates to pleasure that has you shoving a hand down to unbutton his jeans.

“See?” He raises his hands in the air, watching you fish his cock from his pants. “I knew you were a desperate slut.” You grip his shaft and pull a salacious sound from his throat. He grabs you by the throat and pulls your ear by his mouth.

“All because you feel worthless without a celebrity to cling onto.” He whispers before licking your earlobe into his mouth and sinking his teeth into it. For a moment, your anger drains and his words dawn on you. You almost believe him. You huff a derisive laugh and you don’t even know if it’s at Beomgyu or yourself. Beomgyu is everything Soobin isn’t. It’s a con and disappointingly a pro. He’s impolite, impulsive, and hard-headed… but as you stare into his sharp glare you start to understand your eagerness to sit on his cock. Soobin was easy to swallow but Beomgyu’s intricate eyes spare you no pity or comfort. “I don’t care as long as I cum by the end of it.”

“You can insult me all you want,” You stand from the chair and shimmy your sweats and underwear off while still maintaining eye contact. “but I know who I am.” You climb back on his lap, positioning him at your entrance before grabbing his shoulders with a smirk.

“Nice character development. Finally accepting you’re a groupie.”

You brush his jab off with a scoff. There’s no way either of you can make a case against the other without painting you both as insane. His crusade against you was paused at the moment. You have him right where you want him. “I’m not. I’m ___.” You smile.

Beomgyu immediately laughs at your proclamation, shifting to a hiss when you sink down on him. He grabs hold of your hips to take control and increase the speed. “You’re fucking me while claiming to hate me. Something isn’t adding up.” He tries to bite back but the sound of your pussy sliding over his cock makes him mutter a swear.

“You may be a superstar out there, but in here? Right now? You’re just a tool for me to get off.”

He moves both hands back up to your throat, giving you back the reigns as you laugh triumphantly. “That’s right. I like it when you’re rough with me.” You squeeze out before swirling your hips in circles. His resolve crumbles more and more as you ride him and it’s a delight to watch. He chokes you harder, familiarly squeezing until your vision spots out before releasing and letting you gasp and sputter. “You like that?”

“Uh huh.” You fake a whimper, making a show of how your hips swing. Knowing exactly how to rile him up, you slap him again. Seeing the anger flare up you get a rush, reveling in the slap he delivers back. “The fuck did I tell you?”

You spit on his face and he snatches your hips up again. He starts slamming his cock into you with a vice grip on you, digging his fingertips deep into the flesh of your ass. You yelp involuntarily before covering your mouth.

“What? Worried they’ll hear you and confirm what you were after all along?” He spreads your cheeks wide, peeking over your shoulder to watch how your asshole flutters. Even if you cover up your moans, there’s no way they don’t hear his balls smacking against your ass from in the hallway. You think– hope you’re hallucinating when you hear the door click open.

“Okay guys, what is–” Soobin’s voice cuts off with a surprised noise. You turn your head as far as you can and catch him covering your bottom halves with his hand. “I guess this means you guys made up now?” He asks, stress laced into his words for an entirely different reason.

Neither of you answer, you just gawk at Soobin until he rolls his eyes and closes the door. You stay stuck there for a moment until it occurs to you. A wide smile stretches across your face as you turn to face Beomgyu again. He shoots you an annoyed look. “What?”

“You can’t sabotage me anymore. Who’s gonna take you seriously now?”

“If anything you’re proving my point. In their eyes you just managed to seduce me instead of Soobin.”

“Is that what happened?” You grab his face and smush it with a mocking coo. “I seduced the big bad wolf?” He shakes his face free from your grip and squeezes your ass again. “I guess we’ll see, huh, Beommie?”

You moan out when he slams you down to meet his thrusts. “Trying to shut me up?” Your eyes threaten to roll back feeling his cock in your stomach. You curse under your breath, trying to steady yourself on his shoulders. “It won’t work.”

You throw challenge after challenge hoping he’d get as brutish as you want him to. He hisses at you to shut up but you just talk over him until his lip snarls and he’s yanking you by your hair over to the bed. He tosses you against the side of it before lifting you by your torso and shoving you face down into the mattress. “I told you to shut up.” He growls.

“Fuck me Beommie.” You peer to the side to purr but he shoves your face back into his covers. He realigns himself before restraining your wrists behind your back with one hand. The messy position has one of your legs dangling off the bed but Beomgyu doesn’t fix it, he just slams into you. He shoves you further into the mattress, making sure to keep his hand on the back of your head to keep you quiet. You curl your toes as his dick shoots deep inside you in a relentless pursuit to pound your cervix. Your oxygen starts to run dry again and your eyes fully roll back as you thrash against him. Just a second longer feels like an eternity as you panic for air but he eventually pulls you back up.

“You fucking dick.” You breathe after a harsh fit of coughs.

“Still got shit to say?” He shoves your head back down and slows his hips. Each slam makes your legs twitch until your entire body is trembling like a cold puppy. His cock fucking you full so many times has you overstimulated before even cumming. But it crashes down upon you once your oxygen runs just about dry. You jolt violently with an intense climax and as a warning that he needs to pull you up. He does so, holding you up by your hair as you tremble and clench around his cock. “That’s right, just stay quiet and cum on my dick.”

With all the strength you can muster after your high, you break free from his grip and flip around. He struggles to restrain you and your struggle back until he’s pushing your legs by your head and you reach to grab him and catch his shirt. You yank him closer and capture his lips in a messy kiss. You catch his lip this time and bite down on it as he sinks back into you. You let go and let him drive his tongue into your mouth. Your tongues wrestle, sharing your wanton moans as his cock melts into your hot, wet hole.

You can tell it’s getting to him when his moans get needier. You slip your legs under his arms and wrap them around his hips. You push him further into you, watching his face clench as he’s fully submerged in you. You press your core flush against him and grind your hips into him. You’re dripping so much it’s leaking onto his bed and he can feel it on the tops of his thighs. With one stuttering ‘fuck’ you know he’s gone so you suck on his tongue until his hips are smacking harshly into yours. Each trembling jerk of his hips shoots another ribbon of semen onto your walls. He tries to draw back but you’re holding him still with your legs.

“P-please–”

“Does it hurt, Beommie?” You moan, grinding your hips again. His face clenches tighter as unrestrained moans pour from his ruined lips. You wish to ruin them more but he looks so sexy when he’s in pain. You give him the same languid swing of your hips as you did riding him and watch the sweat roll down his forehead. “I can’t, I can’t–”

With a loud grunt he slams into you again, burying his head in your shoulder. The high of your perceived win over Beomgyu drives you to your actual high as you cum around him again. You keep your shaky legs locked around him until an urgent wail fills your ears and your pussy is being filled again. "Please! Please!" You intend on keeping him locked in longer but he pries your legs off him.

You waste no time pushing him off of you and peeling off your tattered shirt and bra. You use the fabric of your t-shirt to wipe off your legs and your mound. Beomgyu comes up behind you to yank the shirt from your hands, glaring at you as he does so. He cleans up his member and thighs before tossing the shirt.

“Get out.”

“My pleasure. Are we still telling them our sides or…”

“Just get out. You better not still be here when I get out of the shower.” He ties a towel around his hips and bumps your shoulder as he walks past. You steal a pair of sweatpants and a shirt for now, planning to return it as soon as possible because the thought of having his clothes in your wardrobe made you physically ill.

As it stands, he still tried to sabotage you and Soobin’s friendship and possibly your career, but it seems he admitted defeat. You glance at his mirror on your way out. Just as you thought, you know exactly who you are.

likes and reblogs are very appreciated! 🖱️⤻ txt masterlist

#800 #I keep laughing bc I imagine a vine boom every time Beomgyu puts mc on the spot #this is another one of those fics idk about #do I hate mc???#beomgyu #txt #choi beomgyu #smut #kpop #beomgyu smut #txt smut #choi beomgyu smut #kpop smut #angst #enemies to enemies #enemies to lovers #because they did some lovin alright

1K notes · View notes

bbykento · 9 months

Text

I’ll make it up to you - gojo x gn! reader

wc. 1.1k | NOT proofread

contents! angst to fluff, comfort, gojo calls you clingy, neglect, cute nicknames, he does everything to make your anger gone, crying, overthinking, negative thoughts, praise.

you missed gojo so bad.

right now, you were just watching a movie or whatever you could do to occupy yourself. while gojo is out there hanging out with his friends, it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other. you thought this wouldn’t change anything in your daily life.

but after a few weeks, it’s all he’s been doing. he’s always outside with his friends, barely acknowledging your presence. you get that it’s been quite awhile, but you’ve been feeling neglected.

You weren’t clingy whatsoever (maybe you were) but you missed him so bad. every damn time he came home he’d either be too tired and sleep right away or he’d play video games… with his friends again.

it was the same process all over again. you were getting tired, you were already having a rough week. you needed your boyfriend…

at the moment, it was currently 12:59 am. Where the fuck was your boyfriend?? you decided to text him, worried about his being.

You

baby, where are you? it’s 1 am already, you okay?

baby?

can you come home already? its kinda late

baby answer me

you were worried, he usually came home from their hangout by 7 pm or even earlier. though why was he taking longer? yes he’s the strongest he can take care of himself yeah yeah but it was your boyfriend. finally after a few minutes (it took 30 minutes) before he responded.

Gojo

js out w my bros dw

wow. he finally responded, in like one of the worst ways ever. he would usually reassure you sweetly that he’s okay and he’d be back quickly in 50+ messages, whenever he’d went out longer than usual. but this? its not him. it was a dry response, maybe someone took his phone?

You

when r u coming home?

baby?

Gojo

can you like stop?

stop being so clingy it’s annoying

im just hanging out w my bros

and im not gonna come home till for a little while

the reason why i hung out with them was to escape your clingy ass

so stfu for a moment

… what the fuck? im clingy? when im just worrying about your wellbeing?? you already had a bad day and just wanna cuddle with your boyfriend but he adds to the stress.

like the petty person you are, you take your things and leave his apartment with teary eyes. if he calls you clingy, might as well distance yourself from him. nobody to wake him up, take care of his drunken state, cook him breakfast, and all that.

….

a week passes by and not a single sign from him. he didn’t bother to text you, call you, go to your apartment, whatsoever. you guys don’t usually fight, and when you do it doesn’t last this long. he would always be to go to you first and apologize.

you were overthinking, maybe you were a burden to him? was he cheating on you? will he break up with you? negative thoughts clouded your mind as you cry your heart out and cuddle your pillow.

before suddenly, a ding comes from your door. was that finally gojo? was he here to apologize and comfort me? you fixed yourself before opening the door, the moment you opened the door it all answered your questions.

Oh. it was just a delivery man…..with a bouquet but instead it was filled with money shaped into flowers, a cute basket filled to the brim with your favorite snacks and food. Till you realize the “delivery man” had snow-white hair..

“gojo..?”

“baby..I’m sorry please? I know it’s not enough but fuck.. im sorry, im sorry…can we talk?” he looks up, finally letting you see his eyes. he looked, tired. and so did you.

“okay…” you say. you were glad he was back, you missed his touch, his face, his everything.

he gets inside and you close the door behind him. when he lands the items on a table, he suddenly hugs you.

“Baby i’m sorry I don’t know what i fucking said I didn’t mean any of that you know that right? please im sorry ill make it up to you… I just- I just..”

“Baby calm down, we’ll talk about it after you collect all your thoughts.”

he nods in agreement, before he nuzzles his head deeper into your neck taking in your scent. oh how he missed you, how bad he fucked up to the. point you guys haven’t interacted each other for a week.

“I’m sorry… I was just in a bad mood after my friends made a joke about hitting on you… I poured my anger on you, nothing was your fault. It’s all mine.. please forgive me baby I’ll do anything to make up to you..” he started to kiss your neck.

God did you want to cry again.

“don’t you know how much that hurt me?” tears started to roll down your cheeks.

“I know baby.. it’s all my fault blame it on me. I’ve been neglecting my cute and beautiful baby.. you don’t deserve it please don’t cry..” he wipes your tears and cups your face before kissing you all over your face

“Please just don’t do that ever again..” you hug him tightly. you were so happy and sad at the same time. after all those overthinking… his reassurance was what you needed the most.

“Of course, my love. please remember I don’t find you clingy or annoying, even if you were clingy I love every second of it. I love every bit of you. please don’t stop loving me like that, im an asshole fuck me. im sorry you had to deal with this asshole but this asshole loves you very much.” with every sentence, he gave a kiss on your face.

“I love how you make me breakfast everyday, the way you wake me up so sweetly, the way you text me to see how I’m doing, how you clean my clothes for me when I’m too tired, draw doodles on my chest with your fingers when im asleep, kiss me and put a blanket over me when you see me shiver, I love all of you and the things you do.” he continued.

He kisses you long and deep. you couldn’t stop the ecstatic feeling in you when he said all of those words. oh did you love him so much, and so did he.

Safe to say, you guys spent the night in each other’s arms. he spoiled you a lot the very next day, or rather for the past few weeks.

note: this would’ve been better if I havent fucking accidentally exited the draft without saving the work in progress 🫠 AAAAA

#x reader #reader insert #gn reader #gender neutral #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #angst #fluff #comfort

232 notes · View notes

sturniolotrip-samandcolby-lover · 1 month

Text

Chris sturniolo fanfiction -first time

Smut 18+ no minors beyond this point thanks .

Word count 2k

Summary -you stay with the triplets as the house is infected with COVID ,while you spend all day every day with your boyfriend and important event happens .

Warnings - smut , mentions of COVID, honest first time experience, mentions of blood,oral sex female recieving, penetrative sex chris X reader.small age gap (20 and reader being 22)

No y/n

Not proof read

If I've misses anything please let me know

Well my trip to see my boyfriend and his brothers didn't go the way we expected .Nick , Chris and Matt went to do their weekly car video and poor nick coughing like no tomorrow I stayed at their house catching up on sleep .I was woken up when they returned at 2:30 am hearing nick telling his younger brothers how bad his throat feels .I hear Chris suggest "why don't you do a COVID test , you know just incase ?" I heard nick snigger with him believing that he couldn't possibly have COVID .

5 minutes later all I heard for a chorus of the 3 of them all saying shit , I jumped to the conclusion that nick had received a positive result ....I knew then that Chris and I would be spending alot of time alone all of a sudden .I was brought of of my sleep daze when my perfect boyfriend walked into the room with a COVID test in his hand , he was surprised to see I was already sat up in bed awaiting for him .

" Bad news nicks got COVID , Matt has tested negative and so have I but we're all going to stay in our rooms to stop it spreading , I'm gonna need you to take a test too .Even if it's positive you can stay with me baby " he said the last part so sweetly knowing i have a fear of sick and illness.

I do the test finishing it with a sneeze as Chris gets ready for bed .We wait 3 minutes to see that I'm negative too , Chris sends a quick message to his brothers telling him the news .

We both settle down in the covers while we put on a film , Chris lets me pick it this time knowing that I will most likely fall asleep early into it meaning he can change it over shortly.I pick the film 'after' , we're half way through the film and as the characters finish at the wedding they return home and begin to have sex with it being the girls first time and the guy having experience .I shift uncomfortably as I imagine myself and Chris being in the same situation with me still being a virgin and Chris having experience.I was very open with him about this when we started dating , he has always been understanding about it and never rushed me .

Chris notices my sudden shift as I press my thighs together, I then start yawning more frequently my sudden awakening earlier now catching up to me ."shall we go sleep now love" I hear Chris whisper to me assuming that his brothers was asleep already ."ye-" I begin to respond yes when I'm cut out by yet another yawn .He laughs at this and begins pulling me into him so I can lay my head on his chest as he aims to hold me until i fall asleep .

We're silent for 5 minutes,I can't get the picture of Chris and I being in the position of the characters out of my head .I assume Chris has fell asleep as I'm caught up in my own thoughts to notice how his soft snores haven't started yet.

"Baby I noticed earlier when the film was on how you was when the sex scene came on, what's on your mind?" His soft voice brought me out of my train of thought.I frozen trying to think quickly of what to say feeling all of a sudden very embarrassed at his mention.I stay silent "it's nothing to be embarrassed about babe just tell me and we can talk it through and see what can be done " he says comfortingly.

I take a deep breath and a quick pause "okay ...well it's been playing on my mind recently ..." He hums in response, I pause again "just say it baby " he whispers as he stroke my hair trying his best to comfort me ."I've been thinking about us having sex , im ready i swear im just scared" i waffle onto him .

He pauses for a second " why didn't you tell me love,we can do it whenever you're ready , I'm going to be honest it's not going to be like the films it could be painful, there could be blood .I've looked it up but it'll be okay baby , I'll make it as comfortable as possible for you baby I swear I'll take care of you "

As each words fall out of his mouth I couldn't fall more in love with him , I have no response to him i just lean up and give him a passionately kiss ."i love you " i whisper to him , he responds with a simple "i love you too " he looks so beautiful as his skin is lightened up by his red led strip lights around his bed .

I decided in that moment that I wanted to be with him , connected to him in anyway I can .I show him this with yet another passionate kiss , "are you sure you want this baby?" He asks concern in his eye."I'm 1000% sure I want to be with you in every way right now " I respond.He shifts from under me leaving with a quick kiss and he goes to the bathroom, he returns with a towel and some little tea lights that he had already lit and had placed on either side of the bed as he lays the towel in the middle of the bed over the sheet and he returns back to the bed I move onto the towel allowing space for Chris to get back on the bed , he kisses me with more passionate as he moves on top of me I naturally open my legs so that they can rest on his hips and he can lay between my legs .

The kissing continues with more passion as I grab at his shirt , he takes my hint and takes it off he quickly returns a quick kiss to my lips .His finger tips brush slightly against my waist just in my shirt ." Take it off ... please" I whisper against his lips .He pulls back and takes my oversized shirt off , I'm left in just my underwear feeling exposed I quickly reach to cover my chest but I'm stopped by Chris's fingers drawing shapes on my hands "don't do that baby , you're beautiful"

He says admiring me .

I remove my hands as he kisses down my neck , he looks up at me quickly " just say the word girly and I'll stop"I nod my head quickly in anticipation on waiting for what is about to happen I've thought about it so much but to actually be in it now feels surreal.

He leaves sweet kissed down my neck and to my breasts , the kisses so light they tickle against my skin .He reaches my nipple and takes it in his mouth as soon as he has it I'm over taken by pleasure I never thought was possible.With his hand massaging my other breast he continues to swap between each breast and nipple .

His free hand subconsciously finds it's way to the hem line of my underwear he feels me tense up lightly surprised by the roughness of his fingers .

"Sorry" he replies quickly , I shake my head ."take them off please" I say to him , he looks me in the eyes looking for a change of my mind .He removes them so quickly and throws them to the floor he looks down "so beautiful" he whispers to himself I blush at his comment.

He starts to kiss down my stomach going over my stomach and kissing my hip bones .I already know that the site of him I'm soaked and by the smile on his face , he knows too .

"Can I " he asks I nod my head in response " I need to hear you use your words princess" he says against my hips."yes" I respond blushing at his new nickname for me .As soon as the word falls out of mouth his mouth is wrapped around my bud and when his mouth isn't sucking on my sensitive nub , his tongue is running up and down my slit collecting any wetness my body has created .Im a moaning mess and glad to know that his brothers bedrooms are on a different level.

After endless minutes of pleasure purely by Chris's mouth he looks at me "I'm gonna use my finger , is that okay baby" he asks I return a breathy "yes" in response.Again as soon as the word falls out of my my his pushes one of his slender fingers into my heat , he continues thrusting his digit into me and the slight uncomfortable feeling is overwhelmed by the immense pleasure I feel building in my stomach and his tongue works just as fast in my clothes as his finger is with my heat .

I pull his hair and feel him moan against my heat cause my orgasm to rip through my body I'm a moaning , shaking mess and Chris continues to ride me through my orgasm .I open my eyes to see him hovering over me ,his lips wet with what's left over of my orgasm.

I noticed the tent that's in his boxers nerves and excitement ripping through my body just like the orgasm beforehand .I reach down to pull them down and his size springs up and slaps him on his stomach ."are you ready baby you can still say no" he says concern evident in his voice ."yes im ready" I whisper with a kiss he quickly leans over to open a condom wrapper .The more I look at his member the bigger it seems to grow by the second , he rolls it down his cock and lines it up with my entrance .With one look again to ask consent i nod my head and rest my hands on his broad shoulders .

As soon as he pushes in the instance stretch and pain shoots through me , my grip tightens on his shoulders and my eyes closed with my face contorting in pain ."breathe through it baby just breathe" he kisses my lips so sweetly until I nod to him so he can move , he starting thrusting in and out of me as the pain quickly becomes pleasure im moaning into Chris's mouth and he does the same to me .In minutes he's thrusting into me at a inhumane speed , he quickly rubs circles on my clit .His lips so close to mine he moans "cum for me baby , on 3 we cum together" he suggest to me , I nod my head .

"1.......2........3" he whispers and we're both moaning messes and I fell myself come undone yet again around his cock and I feel him filling up the condom inside of me .We both open our eyes , still connected and he kisses me as he pulls out leaving me wincing at the slight pain it causes.

We spend minutes naked , catching our breath in comfortable silence ."we should go and cleaned up baby" he breaks the silence as he takes the condom off and places it in the bin .

He picks me up bridal style , both naked and carries me to his bathroom.He leaves me to go toilet and the instant burn is beyond uncomfortable, he returns back with a pair of his jogging bottoms and a sports bra of mine , he brings me fresh underwear and pulls out a sanitary pad .

He hands it to me getting down to my eye level " how you feeling baby" he asks "sore I say but so happy , what's that for" I ask nodding to the pad ." You bleed abit babe" he says with sorry in his eyes .I go red in embarrassment " it's perfectly normal baby just pop this on and we can go cuddle and sleep " I obliged and once I'm done he carries me again bridal style back to bed .

We get comfy again "I'm so proud of you baby , I love you so much" he whispers to me as I drift to sleep in his hair .

This took forever guys but I hope you like it , please like comment and follow if you can

Xoxo hj

#chris sturniolo #fanfiction #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #mattsturniolo #the sturniolos #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine

65 notes · View notes

irwinsblender · 3 months

Text

sickness

a/n: wrote this fic bc i’ve been on and off with random illness for the past couple of months which i’m still dealing with (😞) but, that inspired me to write this.. so taking some positives from the negatives ig lol

pairing: ashton x reader

summary: you’ve been getting sick a lot recently and ashton is there to care for you

warnings: brief mentions of throwing up

word count: 1.8k

✩ ✩ ✩

after a couple of months of endless sickness, you thought you could be starting to go down the right path with being healthy again.

the past two months had been exhausting, you picked up a cold after visiting family and after that went away, it came back a week later. recovering from that, you thought you were in the clear.. until you felt sick one night and couldn’t seem to keep any food down.

whenever you were sick, ashton was always there to care for you as long as you needed. which you were always very appreciative for.

you were finally back to being yourself again. or so you thought.

ashton had a few studio days planned with the guys, ready to do some recording for their next album. he reassured you that he wouldn’t go if you still weren’t feeling 100%. you told him you were fine and urged him to go, which he did.

you thought you were fine, out of that danger zone of picking up other illnesses. however, you were clearly mistaken.

you’d been feeling unwell again for the past two days, a horrendous headache, stomach ache, nausea, the whole lot. at first you were going to blame it on food poisoning. but, you’d only eaten a microwave pasta meal for dinner last night, so it couldn’t be that.

by the time it was getting to evening, you were sure this was the worst you’d felt. no appetite, feeling slightly light headed. you convinced yourself getting an early night would help.

walking into your bathroom, using the sink for brushing your teeth and washing your face, you leaned down for a moment, not long, just to rinse your face. that was clearly too long for the blood to circulate properly, as when you stood upright, you blacked out instantly.

reaching around, you tried to stop yourself from falling, but it was no use. slamming your head into the wall, hitting the ground pretty hard, you knew there would be bruising.

it took a few moments but your vision came back to you, kind of. your sight was blurred, perhaps from hitting your head. you knew you should be calling ashton at this point, but you didn’t need him to worry about you again already.

instead, you called 911, thinking that would be best after hitting your head. they sent an ambulance and you were on your way to the emergency room in no time.

they did a few tests, gave you ice and pain medication for your head and without you knowing, they called ashton. the first person on your emergency contact list.

your tests were completely normal, a relief that nothing was seriously wrong with you. however, you’d hoped they’d find something to explain your bout of constant sickness as of recently.

you were given the all okay to go home by your doctor, only being told to rest for a few days and make sure you eat and drink enough.

you were about to figure out a way to get home when you heard your boyfriend’s familiar voice.

“babe? there you are!” he rushed over, seeing the ice you were holding. “are you okay? what happened?”

“ash? what’re you doing here?” you asked. “i thought you were at the studio?”

“i was,” he paused, sitting down beside you. “the hospital called, told me you were here.”

you looked down, feeling bad for not telling him what had been going on, not knowing how to explain that you had come down with sickness a further time.

“i blacked out,” you admitted, removing the ice from your head for a moment to show where you ended up having to get stitched up. “hit my head and ended up with everything looking blurry for a good thirty minutes.”

“oh, baby.” ashton sighed, placing his arm around your shoulders to pull you into his embrace. “have you not been feeling well again?”

you nodded, looking down, “for a couple of days.” you explained. “lost my appetite and haven’t had much energy.”

“did they check your temperature?” he asked, pressing the back of his hand against your forehead. “you’re hot.”

“kind of you to compliment me when i’ve never looked worse.” you glanced up at him, tiny smirk on your face.

ashton nudged your shoulder, shaking his head. you knew what he meant, sometimes you just can’t help yourself.

“yes, they checked my temperature,” you chuckled. “it’s up a little, they gave me some medication for that.”

“good,” he replied. “you had blood tests done?”

he pointed to your left arm, noticing a piece of cotton taped over the middle of your arm. you looked down for a moment, almost too tired to have to explain everything the doctors did.

“yea,” you answered. “they didn’t find anything wrong, they think it’s just a bad fever.”

“and what about all the other times you’ve been sick in the last two months,” he questioned. “surely they have some answers for that.”

“they think i’ve just got a weak immune system since i’m at home a lot of the time.”

“oh,” ashton sighed. “you can blame me for that, i’ve been writing and going to the studio which leaves you with nothing to do.”

“i’m not blaming you, ash,” you shook your head at him. “i work from home, which gives me little time to socialise with people. it’s since the pandemic, we both know that.”

ashton nodded, taking in what you were saying. he was about to add to what you said, when a nurse walked over with a clipboard and medication.

“anti nausea pills,” she explained, passing them to you. “you can take one every six hours as needed until your symptoms wear off.”

she smiled, giving another all clear for you to go home with Ashton. you kept hold of the ice pack, ashton took hold of your pills for now. he lead you out to his car, helping you inside first before he got into the drivers side.

the drive home was quiet, but short thankfully. the same as when you left the hospital, ashton helped you out of his car and up to your doorstep, unlocking the door for you before letting you in first.

he locked up for the night, slipping his shoes and jacket off before helping you to get your shoes off too.

“let’s get you up to bed, yea?” ashton suggested, you agreed, just wanting to lay down and relax.

holding onto your hand as you took one step at a time, you felt much better in ashton’s presence. he was here for if anything else happened, for if you felt sick, if you needed your pills or anything to eat or drink. he always cared for you.

once to your room, you laid down on your bed with your pillows propped up slightly. ashton covered you with your blankets, sitting beside you for a moment.

“do you need anything?” he asked. “water? a snack?”

“can you get me some water?” you asked quietly. “i think i should take one of those nausea pills.”

“of course, baby,” he smiled softly, leaving the room to grab a glass of water for you.

while he was gone, you stayed in bed, ice pack on your head, which was starting to melt and would be used up soon.

you stared in front of you, thinking about the past two months. it had been a lot. a lot of sickness, not getting out of bed very much, having to cancel dates with ashton because you felt terrible in yourself.

it had been incredibly draining. you’d reached a breaking point this time.

ashton didn’t expect to hear quiet sobs as he walked back up the stairs with your water and pills. he slowly pushed the door open, seeing you’d placed the ice pack beside you with your face hidden behind your hands.

“my love,” he softly spoke as he placed the water down on your nightstand, the pills next to it. “what’s wrong?”

he crouched down next to the bed, slowly pulling your hands away from your face, holding them in his as he caressed his thumbs across the backs.

“i’m just tired,” you cried out, the tears flowing down your cheeks. “i’m tired of being so sick all the time, i have nearly no energy to do anything, i just wanna know what’s wrong with me.”

you let out a shaky breath at the end of your sentence, ashton frowned, hating seeing you like this.

“let me come and lay with you.” ashton stood up, letting go of your hands for a moment.

he slipped under your covers, shuffling so he could be right next to you. he took one of your hands, entwining his fingers with yours.

“there might not necessarily be anything wrong right now,” ashton tried to think of what to say carefully. “you might just be going through a phase of illness, it can happen.”

you wipe your tears with your free hand, not baring to look over at ashton.

“not like this,” you shook your head. “i’ve thrown up more times in these past two months than i have my whole life.”

“i think you’re being unlucky, baby. i know it’s been hard on you, but you had tests done and nothing was wrong, right?”

“i guess.” you folded your arms, letting go of his hand in the process.

“i know things are tough, and feel never ending,” ashton placed his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “but, you’re gonna be okay, i’ll stay here with you while you rest up and try to get your strength back. anything you need, I’ll be right here.”

you leaned to rest your head on his shoulder, sighing quietly before glancing up to him.

“i’m sorry I’m being like this.” you apologized. “even though they did tests, i still feel like there’s something else going on with me.”

“tell you what,” ashton runs his hand up and down your side to comfort you. “why don’t we monitor how you feel, write it down each day to see if things change.”

you nodded, liking that idea.

“if you keep getting sick, or if your symptoms never go away, we can go straight back to the hospital or to see a doctor.”

“okay.” you meekly replied.

ashton gave a reassuring smile, kissing the top of your head, “is there anything else you need me to do?” he asked, prepared to go and get anything you needed.

“just want some cuddles.” you looked up at him, forcing a smile.

he nodded, laying down more to pull you to rest your head against his shoulder. his arms around you as you leaned against him. more comfortable than you have been for the past few days. after a few moments, you let out a quiet yawn. one ashton still heard.

“get some sleep if you need to, baby,” he whispered. “i’ll be right here with you.”

“i love you, ash.” you said before drifting off to sleep.

“i love you too,” ashton sighed, pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek, happy that you’re finally getting the rest you needed. “get well soon, angel.”

✩ ✩ ✩

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fanfic #ashton irwin imagine #ashton irwin x reader #5sos fanfic #5sos imagine #5sos imagines #ashton irwin fluff #ashton irwin angst #5sos x reader #ashton irwin imagines

103 notes · View notes