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elliespassagerprincess · 7 months

Note

Omg if you’d be willing to do another boy genius song I loved the first one so much could you do cool about it it’s my favorite from them 🫶

Cool about it - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I would love to do another boygenius one, I literally love them and thank you for the compliment! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Cool about it by Boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to send one! you can send me a song and I'll take it from there!

HUGE Warning: mental illness, murder, descriptions of murder, gore, mentions of touching a body, a small description of a dead animal, and Ellie being unhinged (as per usual)

Summary: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.

wc: 1.7k

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool

And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos

Ask you easy questions about work and school

I'm trying to be cool about it

Feelin' like an absolute fool about it

Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it

Tellin' myself I can always do without it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

When Ellie met you, she knew her life was going to change. Whether it was for better or for worse, she didn't care.

Dina recently came out as bisexual and according to her, she needed to "meet hot girls". She dragged Ellie to a local lesbian bar and Ellie hated every fucking second of it.

She wanted to go home so fucking bad. She wanted to sleep-

"hi"

Ellie's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a voice talking from behind her. The voice of an angel, she would describe it. That voice that changed her entire life, from that moment on.

Ellie turned her head to see you.

And yeah maybe coming to the bar that night wasn't such a bad idea.

The two of you talked for hours about how shitty your college is, you talked about how Ellie wanted a promotion at the Café she was currently working at. The two of you made fun of the bartenders neck tattoos.

It was a really a night to remember.

Ellie had gotten your number and she immediately asked you out on date. And you quickly said yes. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Ellie Williams.

You made Ellie feel like a fucking fool. You were making her do things she's never done before.

She showed up to the restaurant 2 hours early, so she could choose the best table, so she could make sure the area was safe.

Her palms were wet with sweat the closer as she watched the minutes go by as she was waiting for you.

Ellie's eyes lit up when you walked info the restaurant, the air in her lungs were knocked out as you walked towards her.

You were beautiful.

"Hi" you gave her a small smile before she got up to hug you. As Ellie wrapped her arms around you, the scent of your perfume overtook her senses.

The two of you fit together like a puzzle pieces.

The date was amazing. You talked like you had known each other for years, despite only knowing each other a week at that point in time.

As the evening came to an end you told Ellie something she didn't want to hear.

"Look I'm not looking for something serious, just casual hook ups that's all. No feelings attached"

"no feelings?" Ellie asked in shock

"Yeah" you replied. "Just be cool about it"

How could she be cool with only hooking up with the girl, she thought was her soulmate?

I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"

I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

Ellie hoped that one day you'd call her and say that you regret only hooking up with her. She hoped that you'd tell her that you wanted more than sex.

But at this rate Ellie doesn't think that will happen.

You'd only call her when you were alone or bored, and Ellie being stupid and in love, always went.

She'd drop everything for you.

She knows this is toxic, being in love with someone you know will never fucking love you is bad.

But Ellie hoped this was a test.

She hoped you were testing her, testing her loyalty. It was unlikely, but she always had hope.

You were in Ellies mind, like a fucking plague. Like a fly that wouldn't go away.

Everything she looked at, everything she smelt or touched reminded her of you. And she was sick of it.

She saw you in her dream, and in her nightmares. Ellie saw you everywhere.

She already couldn't have you, now you were haunting her.

Is this some kind of joke? Did you ask a spell on her?

She'd beg the stars above to have mercy on her. To make her even forget about your existence entirely. But she couldn't.

You were there to stay. To haunt her. To mock her. Maybe one day she'll move on, but for now she has to deal with being with your side chick.

If only you'd given her a chance, you'd still be alive right now.

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind

I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

"Ellie when last have you taken your medication?" Joel asked as he walked into Ellie's room.

Empty plates and cups littered the room as he saw a few bugs run around.

Ellie's head snapped towards the door when she heard him talk.

"Ellie you know you need it" Joel tried talking with her again

"I dont"

"you'll hurt someone if you don't drink it" he tried reasoning with her

"I'm fine, I won't hurt anyone"

"don't lie Ellie"

"Joel get the fuck out" and with a sigh Joel left the room.

"I need to get into her mind" Ellie spoke aloud even though there was no one there.

"She left me Barry... why would she leave me for her?"

She needed to know why you didn't want her. She needed to know why you chose some blonde bitch over her.

She was cool with the arrangement that the two of you had. Strictly sex and nothing else. She got to see you, she got to spend time with you, but now that you have someone else.

You stopped seeing her.

What made Abby so special, that you could commit to her and not to Ellie? What was wrong with her?

"What can we do?"

"Hurt her? No that's not nice Barry" she told him.

"Wait so you're saying if we kill her no one will touch her?" She asked him.

"If she says no i'll hurt her...yeah thanks Barry"

Ellie excitedly got up from her bed as she reached out to grab her phone. She quickly texted you asking you to come over because the two of you had to talk about something important.

You said you'd be there in an hour and grin spread across Ellie's face.

Joel had left the house to go to see Ellie's therapist. He was very fucking concerned and he was afraid for his own safety.

Joel knew there was something wrong with Ellie since she was 5 years old.

She was playing out in the garden, before Joel called her in a for dinner. But Ellie excitedly told him "come look, I made a friend!"

With smile Joel walked out, but his smile was soon overcome with pure horror and shock.

Blood littered the grass a squirrel lay there cut in half.

Joel turned to Ellie as she looked at him with a big smile.

"Barry made me do it!"

Therapy session after therapy session, but yet no one knew why a 5 year old was killing animals.

They told Joel he was being overdramatic, that she was just acting out. But the older Ellie grew, the more violent her acts became.

She killed animals, she hurt her friends. She wasn't a kid acting out, she was a girl with a serious problem.

They gave her medication, to keep whoever Barry was quite. Without barry Ellie lived a happy life. A peaceful life.

But now, because of you, for the first time in years, she heard Barry talk to her again.

Barry always knew best in Ellie's eyes.

Ellie quickly cleaned the living room, before she hopped into the shower. All you needed to do was say yes, and she wouldn't hurt you.

Just say yes.

But we don't have to talk about it

I can walk you home and practice method acting

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing

Even though we know it isn't true

"please give me one chance" Ellie begged.

She watched you lower your heard as you let out a sigh.

"Ellie I can't, you know I don't feel the same way"

"Please try" she begged.

She hoped you would say yes. She didn't want to hurt you. You would be ok, you would walk out of here alive if only you said yes to her.

The love Ellie had for you was killing her. It felt like she was drowning.

Either you let her love you or she'd make sure nobody would ever love you again.

Ellie felt the cold blade of the knife dig into her back. She had hid the knife behind the chair she was sitting at and all she wanted was for you to say yes.

She needed you to just give her a chance and everybody would be happy. Everybody would be safe and you would leave alive.

"Ellie I said no"

Ellie's eye slightly twitched as she took a deep breathe. She closed her eyes lowering her head into her hands.

why didn't you just say yes?

She got up grabbing the knife, hiding it behind her back as she made her way towards you.

With tears in her eyes, Ellie looked at you and said "you should've said yes"

You looked at Ellie as she towered over you, you opened your mouth to say something but you suddenly felt something cold in your shoulder.

You looked to your seeing there was a knife, with eyes wide you looked back at Ellie as you let out a whimper.

"Why?" You asked her, as you felt the unbearable pain in your shoulder.

"you should've said yes" Ellie repeated, as she removed the blade from your shoulder.

You let out a cry, when the blade was pulled from your shoulder.

You tried moving away from Ellie, but she was bigger than you and much stronger. You had nowhere to run and all you could do was accept your fate.

Ellie brought the knife down as she stabbed you in the stomach.

"You should've said yes" she repeated.

The knife was pulled from my stomach, and she slashed your left cheek.

"You should've said yes"

She brought the knife directly into your eye socket.

"You should've said yes" she repeated as she slit your throat.

"You should've said yes" Ellie yelled as she repeatedly brought the knife down, stabbing you all over your body.

Blood spattered everywhere, and there wasn't an inch of your skin that was left uncut or without blood.

The last words you ever heard that day was "you should've said yes"

maybe you should have.

Ellie threw the knife somewhere in the room as heavy breathes left her mouth. Ellie looked down at your body, with a small smile on your face.

"We did it", she muttered to herself.

Ellie gently placed your still warm, and still bleeding body onto the floor, before she got onto her knees to give you a kiss on your forehead.

"I'm sorry I hurt you" she brought her hand up to wipe the blood from your lips.

"but it had to be done"

She lowered herself onto your chest. Ellie lay there cuddling with your dead body, she closed her eyes and she let out a hum of approval.

She's definitely has to thank Dina for taking her to that bar.

Authors note: well I've been posting everyday for the last 4 days and I'm so sorry for spamming, but I have so many requests and I'm trying to get everything done for yall. So just know for the next few days, I'll be feeling you with ALOT of content lmfao.Remember you are loved and to always be kind. I love you all.

Yours truly,

Zia:)

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muzicgenerator · 8 months

Note

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #george listing #gustav schäfer #fluff #light angst #tw stalking #sorry

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timemachineyeah · 2 months

Text

when I first got sick, first had to grapple with the ongoing state of my condition and that I wasn’t getting better, one of the things I had to adjust was how I planned to feel

like, at first when I became ill when I planned for my future I planned for one where I recovered - got some diagnosis or just slowly built up stamina - and redirected back to the main plan, the one I’d already been working on

and it took a long time

a long time

to learn how to plan for feeling bad

both in terms of the actual logistics - how much I can schedule for myself, how much energy is reasonable to give to what tasks, what I have to energy to eat, how far I can walk, what household tasks can be accomplished, how much of a break I will need afterwards - and in terms of just emotional and intellectual acceptance that this could even be okay, that I could be okay like this

it is still the hardest part, the part where I plan my future around my limits. I like dreaming big, even if it’s sometimes bad for me (like right now, in this moment, where I’m scared it’ll be bad for me), and picking a lofty goal and grinding. Shoot for the moon, if you miss etc. I went to film school, and Hollywood is all about the hustle and grind. but I couldn’t hustle and grind anymore. I can’t even pretend that if I work myself to the bone it could be enough, because my working myself to the bone is a working entertainment professional’s mental health day and I know because I clung to that industry as long as I could and it’s still where a lot of my heart lies and there’s no universe where I can compete in it. sometimes I can’t even put on a bra.

these days my lofty goals are things like “if I just keep chipping at it maybe one day I’ll finish a web novel and a few people will read it” and that’s not a bad goal but I don’t hold any illusions that it’s a viable income plan.

anyway, it turns out life is okay when you plan for what you’re capable of rather that what you wish you were. it took me a long time, and it’s not perfect, and I’m very dependent upon family and it only works because they are not awful about it (there was a time they would have been, but they got better), but I manage to do a lot more now by planning my life around what I am able to do rather than what I hope to be able to do (or what I am forced to do by unaccommodating circumstances).

it’s nice day to day, even if I still get more behind on cleaning than I would like to and don’t get as much done, to have things arranged so that I don’t exhaust myself and I can quickly access what I need or whatever I would like to do

it has been really helpful to make choices based on the presumption that this will be ongoing, since it has been for ten years. it has been helpful to presume that it’s a diagnosis of exclusion, like ME/CFS, and that I might never get more concrete explanation than that let alone a way to feel better, and to come to terms with that

so I’m having a really hard time emotionally processing that I might have a diagnosis.

like, of the “according to your labs” kind

the kind that comes with drugs and treatment plans

but only might have a diagnosis only might it’s just one test it’s just one test. I will do more tests tomorrow. and also who knows how long it’ll take to actually get an appointment with the referral so

only might only maybe

#timemachine wuz here

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wastelandlovingscenarios · 3 months

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undeniable | porter gage x female! sole survivor

a/n: am i finally back on my bullshit, uploading on a random sunday night? this is different from what i usually write, but hey! im definitely writing something. im too tired to revise or edit this bc its 12 AM, so ill look it over in the morning. just thought i'd post something silly.

♡ based off a modern au where gage and the sole survivor are childhood bestfriends in another life.

For as long as Gage can remember, she’s been a burden. Being nearly five years older than her and her guardian -- or her best friend, as she likes to call him -- he’s always felt inclined to watch over her. He doesn’t know why, he knows he doesn't necessarily need to, but the thought of abandoning her feels wrong. So he tries to find reasons as to why -- was it because they both grew up in terrible conditions together and only had each other? Or was it because he knew the moment he let her dumbass go into the real world alone, she’d somehow get herself killed?

He shakes his head. Finding a reason was nothing but a waste of time, his mind overworking itself more than it already was. He dumbs it down to simply getting used to the routine of caring for her since they were children. If he fucks up his schedule now, he’d have to go through the trouble of rearranging everything around once again and readjust to his new lifestyle.

‘Yeah,’ he thinks to himself, unlocking his apartment door, twisting the knob, ‘It’ll be nothing but fucking trouble.’

Once he pushes the door open, his boots thumping against the tiled floor of his apartment, he sees her sitting on the couch, distracted by the show playing on the television. His eyes darted over to the coffee table in front of her, papers and open textbooks strewn across the poor thing, obviously untouched and just displayed prettily to mimic the idea that she was being productive.

With a low grumble, he tosses his bag on the counter nearby and takes off his boots before grabbing the remote lying on the couch. She’s so invested in her little show that she barely even notices him walking in with a scowl and an annoyed sigh. Sole jumps when the television shuts off suddenly, a gasp leaving her lips before turning her head to the side.

“Hey, I was watching!” she whines, already rising from the couch to pick another fight with him. He doesn’t show any reaction and instead, crosses his arms with an unimpressed expression while he holds the remote hostage.

She tries her best to grab it from his hand but he rolls his eyes, gently pushing her back down onto the couch.

“Quit watchin’ and start studyin’. Yer not gonna get shit done like this.”

She huffs angrily, her eyes narrowing at him, “Gage, a little break wouldn’t hurt every once in a while.”

“And what have you accomplished since I left for work this afternoon?”

Sole swallows nervously, her mouth going dry at his questions as she opens and closes it, trying her best to stand her ground. He raises a brow, giving her a chance to respond and redeem herself, but he already knows. She was a fool for thinking she could get away with such a lie, knowing that Gage knew her better than anyone else.

“Thought so,” he stuffed the remote in the back of his pocket, “Now be a good girl and finish yer damn work. I’m not paying yer tuition for you to fuck around.”

Sole groans but listens obediently, pulling the coffee table closer to her. She grabs her laptop and unlocks it, opening her notes before reaching over to snatch one of her textbooks.

“I don’t understand why you’re on my ass about my studies so much, Gage,” she complains, highlighting something in her book a bit roughly, “You didn't even finish high school, so why does it even matter?”

He doesn’t spare her much of an answer, walking over to the kitchen to find something to cook for them, “Exactly my point. You wanna be better than me.”

“But you make so much money, you’re able to provide for both of us!” she throws her hands in the air, desperately trying to prove a point to her stubborn roommate, who seemed to be firm on his words.

“That’s only because I got connections. Now shut your mouth and study.”

He doesn’t find much in the fridge nor the cabinets, silently setting a reminder in his mind to do a grocery run first thing tomorrow before work. Eventually, he decides to heat up some leftovers they had for lunch and cut up some fruit for her to snack on while she did her work. It’s shit, he knows, but it’ll do till tomorrow.

He makes his way back to the living room, plopping on the couch next to her and setting the food on the coffee table, maintaining a good distance between their dinner and her work. The last thing he wanted was to spill anything on her laptop and notes -- it would only give her another reason not to be productive.

He doesn’t say much, but his eyes flicker over to her for a moment, a small smile on his face at the sight of her seemingly focused on her work now, a sense of satisfaction overcoming him. Gage leans back on the couch, pulling his phone out to distract himself while he kept her company in the living room. He takes a few bites of his portion of the leftovers, glancing at Sole here and there to ensure she was still on track.

It’s a peaceful few minutes, he can’t recall how long, as they both sit in silence, her music playing softly in the background to fill up the white noise. Suddenly, he hears a sigh, sounding a bit defeated, and his eyes set on her sulking figure.

“Gage, I know that you want the best for me, but I’m nearly twenty-three and you still treat me like a kid.” he stares at her, not showing any reaction but notices how she refused to make eye contact with him, her eyes glued to the screen of her laptop.

When she doesn’t get a response, she closes her eyes before turning her body towards him, her expression serious, but he can see right through her. She’s pleading, but not in an annoying bratty way like she usually does, so he decides to listen to her troubles.

She scoots closer to him and he watches, his phone long forgotten in his hand, “I’m really grateful for you and all that, but you need to trust that I can do well in school and balance my time. You can’t take care of me forever.”

Instead of getting a response like she’d hope for, she was met with the usual silence he often provided her when she tried to set her boundaries. With an irate expression, she turned back to her laptop, her face flushed in embarrassment, feeling like her words vanished into thin air.

She should’ve known better than to talk to Gage — he was a man of few words and she didn’t know why she expected him to at least say something to show that he at least cared about her feelings one way or the other.

Before she could continue studying to hide her embarrassment and anger, she hears his voice and freezes.

“I know.” his voice is gravelly, a bit of exhaustion mixed into it, and her head shoots to him, a bit stunned at his broken silence. Her eyes are wide, body paralyzed at the sudden response. There’s a slight flush on his face but she convinces herself it’s the lighting.

Definitely.

He knows she’s waiting for more than just that and he sighs, crossing his arms as he makes eye contact with her the best he can without losing his shit, “Just want you to have a good future. Want you to live a better life than what I’m giving you right now before I send you off.”

Suddenly, she’s overcome with guilt and she immediately leans over to him, her hands finding his as she cuts him off, “No, that’s not what I meant!”

With another breath, she composes herself before speaking.

“Gage, you’ve given me everything I’ve wanted and needed, the last thing I’ll ever do is criticize your care for me. I don’t plan on leaving your side, even when I get a better life.”

His heart twinges and his feelings for her resurface, but he pushes it down.

She pulls on the sleeves of his hoodie, playing with the fabric with her fingers, “I just want you to trust me more. I know I’ve been slacking a bit, but I’d never fail school, especially when I know you’re working hard to provide for both of us and paying for my tuition. I’d never do that to you.”

“Wouldn’t say I’m working hard,” he downplays it, not wanting her to fret about such a miniscule matter.

She groans, “You work twelve hour shifts everyday. Sometimes fourteen!”

He shrugs nonchalantly and Sole pouts at his stubbornness, smacking his arm with annoyance. Gage bites back a smirk, amused by her behavior and catches her wrist midair, her eyes rolling. Instead of providing her with a response, he digs in his pocket and hands her the remote to the TV and her eyes light up, a smile forming on her pretty face. His heart aches at the sight. It was such a small action but it was more than enough to validate her feelings.

“Thank you, you’re the best!” she jumped over, throwing her arms around his neck as she embraced him tightly.

His face flushed heavily and tried to seem annoyed to cover it up but the stutter in his voice and the tenseness of his shoulders gave it away. Gage pushed her away with his hand as he groaned quietly, “I get it, don’t need to be so damn happy about it.”

However, she pecked his cheek and he froze instantly, his body paralyzed and his voice raising in embarrassment, “Q-Quit it!”

She giggles and doesn’t take much offense to his words, knowing that he was nothing but a big softie for her. As she released him, she smiled at him happily once more before turning to the TV and putting her show back on.

Gage rubbed the spot where she kissed, his face a deep red as he tried to regain his composure. Suddenly, he pushes down the real reason of why he refused to leave her side for the millionth time, reminding himself that there were several other possibilities other than that.

‘What a damn burden,’ he thinks to himself, desperately trying to fight back his feelings for her, his eyes glued to her gleeful form next to him.

Suddenly, her kiss lingered on his skin a little too long, the feeling of her arms around him marking his skin, and he’s left absolutely horrified, realizing that he could no longer convince himself otherwise.

Maybe accepting it was better than constantly running and Gage thinks it over for a moment but ultimately shakes his head, wanting to do anything but that.

‘Just a stupid thought. Some stupid fucking feelings,’ he settles for that answer but knows deep down that he’s already lost the battle, his heart hammering in his chest.

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equallyshaw · 4 months

Text

ᴅᴀʏ ɴɪɴᴇ: ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ - ʙʀᴏᴄᴋ ʙᴏᴇꜱᴇʀ

part of holidays with equallyshaw

warnings: swearing.

word count: 2.8k+

takes place over christmas and janurary! not really christmasy but idc lmao.

ʜᴇʀ ʜᴀɪʀ ꜱʟɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ in a tight bun, her black dress clung to her irresistible curves and her free spirit is what caught broody brock boeser's attention, on this cold snow-free evening in vancouver. abba music pounded throughout the club, as divya 'viv' screamed the lyrics with her longtime uni friends. viv had just graduated this semester after 5 long years at uni of british columbia and she was more than ecstatic to raise some hell this weekend before heading home to toronto. after her 5 years in bc, she had no reason to stay on this side of canada so she was going to head home before heading to new york- hunting for a position on wall street.

brock watched as the dark haired girl danced and spun around with her friends, and felt the hair on his very neck raise. him and viv or 'vivian' as he called her, had hooked up many, many times over the course of her time on the west coast. it never led to anything, despite her giving him false hope. despite, them being exclusive to one another during the season. and him being faithful to her during the offseason - though she didnt know.

one of her friends since freshman year was on her way back from the bar, when she spotted some of the canucks. she rolled her eyes, slipping through people to get back to her group. "you'd never guess who's here tonight!" maya boomed and the girls all looked at her before shrugging. she then turned towards viv and viv felt a wave of guilt wash over. she had really like brock as a person, and hated toying with his emotions but she had told her self and her parents had too, that she couldn't date anybody while in school. her parents were pretty strict parents, but were leniant in other ways. "good god." she hummed, throwing back a shot of tequila to which she shut her eyes quickly, as the burning sensation died down. "he really did a number on ya, huh?" ginny another girl had teased while poking her elbow, "yeah for sure." viv lied. oh, he had in the most innocent of ways. but she had done it worse, breaking his heart over and over again.

❅

it was a while later when one of her friends sasha made her ways over toward elias, which then meant the two groups were bound to converse with one another. and as luck would have it, brock and viv found themselves close to one another. in proximity ofcourse, but viv didn't dare look at him. brock made a peace offering about 30 minutes later, holding out a cup of vodka cranberry and she knew she couldn't resist the free drink. she swiped it from him giving him a small smile, giving him a small nod. "how have you need davya?" he questioned, and she almost choked as he said her full name. "uh good! just graduated so im glad to be free of this place." she mused, sipping her drink. he nodded, "well that's great, congratulations!" he said smiling widely, a genuine smile was evident. she smiled back, the one that he had seen many, many times and he felt himself blush.

"still planning on wall street?" he questioned, and she nodded. "don't you know it. its not too far from home that my parents wont need to complain, but far enough where i feel like i can be my own person and find my own way." she said shrugging. he nodded, taking it all in. he hadn't said five words to her since may, and he had been dying to talk to her since then. "i always used to say that if vancouver didn't select me, i wanted to go to new york. something about it made me feel alive. if that makes sense." he said rambling a bit, and she could tell he felt embarrassed. "oh ofcourse! i totally get that...that's why im a sucker for it." she said whispering that last part and the two of their gazes connected. viv felt her chest begin to heat up, and the return of the familiar longing for him was evident.

he moved in closer to her, "maybe ill have to come visit you vivian." he mused, words and breath heavy on her neck. she felt herself shudder with pleasure, and looked at how close their faces were to each other. she grinned before leaning in and kissing him. he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her in closer. they pulled away after a few seconds, "would it be crazy to ask you to come back to my place? again?" he questioned and she giggled, "thought you'd never ask...take me home." she whispered, with a cunning smirk on her face.

❅

two days later she woke up with an arm draped across her torso and chest, as her back was pressed into the mattress. she looked over and saw brock's familiar and luscious blond locks and smiled, rubbing small circles on his arm that was draped. god, she really needed to leave she thought. she had to catch a flight to toronto..but she didn't want to leave. being with brock felt right, it felt real and felt like home. though, her toxic side would never admit that. if she didn't get home, she'd hear so much from it. especially if she missed christmas and christmas eve. she felt the bed shift a bit, before brock rested his chin on her shoulder. she looked down, as she met his longing gaze. "morning vivian." he said softly, before she leaned in and kissed him. "morning brock." she hummed.

"whatcha thinkin about?" he questioned, pressing a kiss to her shoulder before exploring along her chest and neck. she softly moaned before he was now on top of her, and she had her hands wrapped in his hair. "just how my parents would kill me if i didn't make my flight tomorrow..but i shamelessly don't want to leave." she said shrugging and not daring to look at him. "whys that?" he said coyly, beginning to pepper her with kisses. she sighed, "because then they'd have the guy that they're forcing me to marry come find me. and like i don't want that." she said as if it was nothing. his eyebrows crinkled, as he froze. "sorry for this cockblock of a conversation." she said sitting up and he quickly moved off of her, as she wrapped around the throw blanket on the chair, next to the bed.

she wrapped her self and went to grab her phone from the kitchen where'd she had left it. "what do you mean, like an arranged marriage?" he questioned as she was about to leave. "yes." was all she said before walking out and then walked back in as quickly. "i don't want to be tied down to somebody that i don't love and especially not this quick after graduation, but they don't care." she said dropping the blanket, and bent down to grab her clothes.

"thats why you never wanted to be together, like be together for real." brock said putting the words together. she nodded. "she sighed, slipping on her underwear and jeans, her long locks draping over her chest. she turned back towards him, "that's why i kept breaking your heart...and mine." she said, the latter being softer. he stood up, and walked over towards her as she threw on her faux leather jacket. "what? you've liked me this whole time? just as much as i did?" he questioned and she scoffed, "well obviously brock, why do you think I've come back for the past 5 years almost? even if it crushed me saying no and leaving, you-you drew me back in and i loved our time together, even if it meant breaking my heart each time." she exclaimed, buttoning up her jacket. she looked up at brock, once she finished.

he stood in front of her and gave her a sad smile, and she hated it. she hated this look that he did whenever she broke things off, and would say no. "i keep hurting you, why do you keep holding on to hope, huh?" she exasperated. "because i love you! cant you see that!" he said raising his voice, acting as if viv didn't feel the same way. or as if she didn't see it.

"that will never be enough, brock! never!" she said running her hands through her hair. she sniffled, "that will never be enough and has never. its never been enough to be able to call off my wedding that as far as i know is in a few months. you're never gonna be enough for me, and i -i cant do anything about it." she said through tears, watching so many emotions flash through his blue eyes. he shook his head, "you're love will never be enough for me, and my love will never be enough to set me free." she said softer, and he titled his head just a bit at that; and his face dawned a pleading look. she shook her head, "im sorry brock." she said before walking out.

❅

it was janurary 20th, and she was heading into scotiabank with her older cousin and her husband. she had been living with her cousin for the month almost, after she told her parent's she needed time away from them. she told them that she couldn't go through with the marriage, and obviously they were not too pleased with her. they berated her and believed that she was bringing shame to the family. she said she was leaving, no matter their thoughts or feelings. once she had come back from vancouver, her older cousin sought it all out of her. her cousin absolutely adored the fact, that she had been seeing brock for almost 5 years. her cousin secretly wished that the two would somehow find each other again.

the two sat down in the club seats, and watched the players just beginning to take the ice for period 1. her husband handed over two beers, and viv quickly chugged half of it. "have you spoken to him..at all?" she questioned and viv shook her head. "nope." she sighed, quickly finding brock as he took his spot on the blue line for the anthem. she stood along with the rest of the arena, and listened to the anthem but through it all, she flashed back to all the times her and brock spent together. throughout the game she could not take her eyes off of the blonde-eyed beauty, that she had come to love. god, how she missed him.

at some point during period three with the two teams tied, the arena decided they would begin a segment on the jumbotron for 'kiss cam.' and ofcourse, her and cousins husband would be shown on the camera, despite there being a seat in between them empty. the girl next to her tapped her and pointed up, viv was terrified. she shook her head, a flash of fear in her eyes. the camera still did not move, and her cousins husband put his face in his hand, not believing that this was happening. the camera then moved away, and viv sighed a sigh of relief.

the camera flashed back to viv and her cousin's husband and they shook their heads again, and ofourse the crowd was eating this all up and the teams began to watch as well. brock looked up and felt his heart drop to his stomach, this couldn't be happening he thought. he looked away at the exact moment that her cousin came back and kissed him passionately in front of the crowd. the crowd, hooting and hollering. viv's cheeks heated up when her cousin laughed, sitting down back between them. "that was fun." she mused as viv rolled her eyes.

❅

two hours later, with a vancouver overtime win; coming from the princess himself, viv found herself, her cousin and her husband at the soho house bar. after about an hour of being there, she saw some of the vancouver canucks waltz in. she sighed, finishing her cranberry vodka and decided to call it a night. "no im gonna get a taxi, ill see you back at the condo." she said getting up, and began her dissent towards the front. she passed the team, with brock quickly recognizing the shade of dark brown hair from anywhere. he followed her out, and saw her waiting at the pickup area.

"vivian!" she heard to the right of where she was standing and she felt tears prick her eyes, once she realized it was him. "brock we cant do this here." she said as her uber pulled up, "then take me wherever you're going." he said confidently. she looked towards the uber and the grabbed ahold of his hand pulling him with her. "are we going home?" he questioned, "ill introduce myself." he added quickly and she sighed. "no, i left home once i came back. been staying with my cousin aditi or adi and her husband." she said leaning back into the seat. he watched the tension dissipate just a bit, and then took ahold of her hand that was resting on her thigh. he pulled it closer to him and rubbed her thumb softly. she looked towards him, and saw the look he had made her swoon these past years.

"come on." she huffed, pulling him out of the uber and up towards the condo. she opened it up quickly, and walked in and opening the door wider for him. she sat down her purse on the table near the door, and watched as brock took in the condo. the condo featured so much of her culture, yet it was modern and so different from other family members' homes. especially her parents.

"you left home?" he questioned softly, and she saw that it was laced with concern. "yeah my parents told me that this guy that they had been planning for me to marry, was gonna be making an appearance soon and i said no. i told them that if they went through with this, that'd they would be losing me. that i would not go through with it. id rather lose everything i own and have if it means ill be happy or have a chance to be. i had even made calls to my best friends in vancouver but my cousin said that i can come here first. and stay as long as i needed to." she said shrugging and pulling a bottle of water from the fridge. "want one?" she questioned and he nodded, taking one from her.

"she too never went through with her arranged marriage, and she's been able create her dream life and with the husband of her dreams." she said smiling softly, "who was sitting next to you tonight?" he questioned, and she nodded. he silently cursed himself and she saw his red cheeks. she shook her head, "all good brock. seriously. you had no idea based on what our last conversation was. i would have thought the same thing." viv said trying to soften the blow.

"i have spent the past 5 years absolutely head over heals for you and i would absolutely shoot myself in the foot if i didn't even attempt to mend or not even mend, but give us a chance." she paused as brock looked over at her. a sliver of hope coursing through his veins.

"i would be a fool not to at least attempt to explore my feelings and whatever it is between us. officially, that is." she said but looked away when he didn't say anything. he was just too stunned to say a word, he couldn't believe that the girl of his dreams who is a firecracker, kind, poised and absolute breathtaking would be now saying this. that she finally had the opportunity to explore this.

"really?" he choked out and she looked back at him. she nodded and he moved closer to her so now he was directly in front of her, and pulling a stray hair behind her ear. "pinky promise." she grinned, holding out her pinky. he looked down at it quickly, before looking back into her brown eyes.

pinky promises were their thing, it is what they said when the other was being serious. they'd come up with it after hooking up a few times her freshman year, and it stuck.

"pinky promise, b." she said and he smiled back, pulling hers and his pinky together.

they pulled away, and he wrapped his arms around her back while hers found his neck. they rested their foreheads against each others, taking in this moment together. because they didn't know how long they would go without seeing each other. well mostly viv.

but brock had other plans, "come home with me." he offered and she opened her eyes to find his already looking at her. "what?" she questioned in disbelief but also wanted him to say it again.

he smiled widely, pulling her as close as possible before speaking again. "come home with me." he stated, and she smiled softly. and not even a beat later, "take me home b." she smiled before he pulled her in for a long and deep kiss.

"oh! and can we celebrate christmas, i got you a gift.." she said pulling apart, and he grinned. "you and you're timing but yes, id love to spend christmas with you." he mused before kissing her once more.

hope you all enjoyed! pls like and reblog, if u did (:

tags: @cuttergauthier @jayda12 @toasttt11 @jackhues @dancerbailey3

#brock boeser #brock boeser blurb #vancouver canucks #nhl #hockey #nhl blurb #hockey imagine #hockey blurb #nhl imagine #equallyshaw masterlist #holidays with equallyshaw

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darkchocolatedimples · 1 year

Text

keeper characters as things my friends and i have texted!

i'm cleaning out my phone and found wayy too many screenshots

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sophie: i've almost got keefe convinced that storks drop off babies

sophie: this may or may have not incited a breakdown 3:30 am but i've almost done it

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keefe: i'm at the mall with biana she's looking for shoes i'm looking for hot people

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sophie: how does one develop insomnia in level 2? don't know but i'll call it endurance training

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fitz: shut up you simp for my sister

dex: i'm proud

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dex: HOW IS A DEAD PERSON GONNA BE TRAUMATIZED

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keefe: i think i kissed my pillow once when i was 12 or 13

keefe: you know, 70 years ago

keefe: when we still lit things with candles

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sophie with mallowmelt: rock bottom tastes better than it sounds

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dex: idk what it's like to pull a girl i was the one pulled

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keefe: bro my brain waves feel like a siren

keefe: yk what i mean

fitz: i do not

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dex (with braces): imagine loving someone

dex: ...

dex: who has braces

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keefe after sending a picture of himself: omg whos the stylish one i wanna meet him

biana hyping him up: me too he seems so hot wtf

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sophie: YOU WANT PROBLEMS

sophie: ILL GIVE YOU SOME

fitz: this doesn't sound good

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alden: i'm taking a samoa

biana: okay they're five bucks

alden: what no discount? i'm your dad

biana: six bucks

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keefe: i just have the need to be the hottest smarted person in the room at all times to make myself feel valid

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dex: i just wasted 20 mintues of my life on a koala i will never get to see

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fitz: i'm in a whole foods crying by the bobo's toasters

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marella: 420 what's your emergency

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biana: ur so bagelicisous

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marella: shut up band kid

dex: shut up lesbian

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marella: i hope sometimes when the guys at our school are getting a little too cocky they remember that there are literal 2d drawings pulling more bitches than them

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sophie: projection>>>having problems

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biana to keefe: sugar baby would look so good on you

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biana: i love being able to hit men's booties knowing they can't fight back

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dex: british people (derogatory) what tf is beans on toast

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keefe: i WILL breathe more air than you

tam: is this a threat

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dex: this be lookin a little homosexual 🫣

biana: ^us when we see keefe and fitz

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sophie: kmsing 🤭🤭🤭🤭

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biana to fitz: hate to break it to you, you don't like her, you like the boy you think she has a crush on

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grady: maybe getting older is...beginning to like and appreciate bananas

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kenric and jolie: i hope i'm important enough to be the main character from my grave

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sophie: lmao why should i care about anything i'm 15 and i eat chocolate 🤷‍♀️

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keefe: just bc you know you're making me sweat shake and shiver doesn't mean you can or should use that to your advantage (please do) like what the fuck

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fitz: i'm not that much of an asshole

dex: this is untrue

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dex: good news! no more cannibalism. bad news, beastiality?

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keefe about sophie: the way we're twinning

keefe: she drinks red bull and cuts bangs at 2am i impulsively get stitches with no thoughts in my head bc i think its cool

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stina: currently about to fight this seagull will update

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dex: i wouldn't mind a shorter guy actually if they're too tall i'm gonna have to break their knees to kiss them

biana: that's the fun part! like glowsticks 🤩

#kotlc incorrect quotes #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc #dex dizznee #linh song #tam song #biana vacker #sophie foster #fitz vacker #stina heks #councillor kenric #jolie ruewen #grady ruewen #marella redek

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ash-is-dying · 9 months

Text

Mr. Perfectly Fine: Chap 2

A/N: It’s like 12am right now and i’ve been doing this since 9pm... really wanted to get another chapter done and dusted and I actually really like this one so hope you enjoy!

P.S. Also let me know if you want me to make a taglist at all...

Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.0k

Chapter 2: Mr. Here To Stay

---

That one interaction hung over your head for the rest of the week. What once was a peaceful and calming place to relax was now haunted by the presence of one aggravating barista. Unfortunately for you the closest coffee place aside from Grateful Bread was blocks away and not worth the walk, so you were stuck with Eddie, the pretty barista from hell.

Avoiding him proved to be easier said than done. He worked most mornings as you’d come to find, on days it was just him you’d wait until the morning rush brought an extra pair of hands to the register and when he placed your order on the bench which made him roll his eyes every time you made sure to wait until he’d moved onto the next order before collecting it. Mornings had become a game of cat and mouse except when you were around Eddie it felt more like starving lion and mouse.

Your one reprieve was on the blessed Sunday morning when you walked in to see Wayne working the counter and Eddie nowhere in sight. Risking it even if he could just be in the back or on break, you swiftly approach the owner who spots you and breaks into a tired smile. “The usual?”

You smiled softly. “You know me too well Wayne.”

He nods and makes his way over to the coffee machine preparing the myriad of ingredients for your usual drink. You stand there watching quietly until your curiosity gets the better of you. “So who’s the new hire? I’ve seen him around recently but haven’t gotten the chance to talk with him yet.” You said lying through your teeth in the hopes of finding out anything about the pretty asshole making your life miserable from afar.

“Eddie? Yeah he just moved to town, needed some quick cash while he settles into school so I thought I’d let him serve while he gets on his feet. Barista is most certainly not his dream job.” He said shaking his head and laughing.

You smile in return, Wayne’s laughter becoming contagious. “You know him too well?” Wayne closed his eyes and shook his head,

“Only lived in my trailer for the first twenty years of his life, the bum. Still hasn’t paid me back a cent for his college degree.”

The realization dawns on your face and your eyes widen, “So you two are…”

Wayne looks up and shrugs, “Yup, that couch potato is my good for nothing nephew” he says kind heartedly, “he’s really more like a son to me than anything, he’s been living cross country for a bit and decided to finally settle down closer to home.” He sighs. “More than anything I’m just glad he’s back in my life for a bit, won’t be long before he gets some savings and goes off on another road trip and I’ll tell you one thing that boy does not look back.” He finishes his speech and puts the lid on your coffee cup to go gently sliding it across the counter. “Sorry darl, feel like I’ve been hogging the conversation. Much going on with you?”

Still reeling from Wayne’s admissions about Eddie the questions fly through your head a mile a minute. ‘How on earth is Eddie your nephew? Why is he such an asshole? Why is he in town? How long’s he around for?’ And yet all that comes out of your mouth is; “No. Not really, just stopping by before my music lecture.”

Wayne nods and reaches for the small bakery display window pulling out some tongs and placing a custard danish into a brown paper bag and placing it in front of you. “On the house. You gotta be taking care of yourself girl.”

“Oh no- no- really its fine Wayne, ill grab something on the way home.” You smile before he crosses his arms.

“I ain’t arguing, enjoy your breakfast kiddo.” Before you can reject him again he slips away back to the front counter. You blush and tentatively grab the pastry before leaving to head to class, mentally beating yourself up for letting Wayne do that for you.

The guilt begins to wash away as you eat the flaky treat on your walk to campus, the custard is sweet and the pastry is sticky as you hold the bag while you eat, trying to save your fingers from the inevitable. By the time you finally reach the building your sweater is covered in crumbs and the leftover hot chocolate is now lukewarm. You stretch and sit down on a nearby bench, pulling out your music notebook trying to get something down before class, your mind continuing to wander to the tattooed boy who is becoming more intriguing by the day.

---

As you walk in you notice the classroom looks different than usual. The lecture hall has been rearranged. Desks are now set aside in pairs and there is labels on every other desk, some form of assigned seating unfamiliar to the students, you included. You look around and find your chair in the back corner, your desk mate being nowhere in sight. As everyone found their name tag and sat in place the professor started to speak.

“I’m sure you’re all curious why you’ve been seated this way today. I’ve decided that it is time for you all to work on your collaboration skills, a musician must learn to work with a conductor, songwriter and above all else other musicians in order to progress their skills to a more professional level.”

Your eyebrows furrow as the desk beside you remains empty and your attention wanders to your partners tag.

Edward Munson.

Whoever he is he must be new, the class only consists of about fourteen people so keeping track of names is not something you struggle with. Someone you’ve never met and have no experience with in the slightest is who you’re going to be depending on for your music degree. Someone who isn’t even here for the first class of the new course. Lucky you.

You turn back to the professor.

“I have paired you with those who I believe have different music tastes and styles to you going off of your application demos you submitted when you joined this extension class. This will be work the majority of your grade this semester so I suggest you make it count. Spend this first class getting to know your partner and begin to understand who they are, after today I expect you to no longer be strangers.”

You resign yourself to spend the class scrawling in your notebook possible style collaboration ideas, a gut feeling telling you that you’d be completing most of this task. Your headphones go in as the sound of ABBA takes you away from the slight disappointment of not having a partner. Due to this your ears only catch half of what is happening outside your little bubble. There is the sound of the door opening behind you and some mumbled speech hard to make out before a certain phrase catches in your ears.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Clear as day a familiar voice penetrates your brain and causes you to look up beside you. There stands a boy in what seems to be pajama pants, deep grey ones with lightsabers wrapping around the legs. He also wears a stained and well worn iron maiden shirt as his teased curls sit on his shoulders, his whole body slumped over, his eyebrow raised in annoyance as the current bane of your existence glares into your eyes.

Edward Munson.

Eddie Munson.

Shit.

The pair of you stay silent processing what this all means. This is so much worse than working with a stranger.

“Glad to see you’ve shown up. I think we can skip the pleasantries and just get to work.”

“Agreed.”

He sits, more flops into his chair looking over your shoulder at what you had been working on. He closes his eyes and rests his head on his arms. The smell of cheap cologne and sweat fills your nose as you frown and continue to write on your own. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t shown up. At least then you’d still have your sense of smell.

This is how the class continues until the professor comes around to read your notes. “These are all good ideas I like them a lot.” A smile graces your face. “But… I don’t know if I’m seeing much of Mr. Munson in here.” Your smile falters slightly. “Have you two been getting to know each other like I asked?”

This perks Eddie up as he lifts his head and opens his eyes slightly. “Oh trust me sir we’re well acquainted.”

The teacher leans back on the desk in front of them. “Then tell me what her favourite song is, favourite colour, where she works, anything at all that you’ve been talking about.” Eddie sits in silence formulating his reply.

“She has almond milk in her coffee.” He replies smugly causing you to scoff.

“He’s a barista at my local cafe sir it hardly counts. He doesn't even remember my name.” You slide your hand over your name card as he grimaces at you.

“As if you remember anything about me.” He responds snarkily.

You sigh and turn to face him. “Your name is Edward Munson but you obviously prefer to be called Eddie, you work at the café Grateful Bread most days a week except for when you come to your music lectures. You obviously don’t particularly care about being on time for said classes and I’d say you feel the same way about work and you get away with it because your boss is your uncle Wayne. You can’t stand it here and you can’t stand me and I’m almost entirely certain as soon as you can afford it you’re leaving this place for good.” You cross your arms as Eddie’s mouth moves and no words come out.

The professor is the first to speak “Sounds like you’ve got some homework to do Mr. Munson. I suggest you both spend more time getting to know each other properly and less time psychoanalyzing each other. I’m expecting big things from you two, you are by far the most advanced students in this course after all and I hope you can be mature and sort this out like adults.” He stands and moves to the next group leaving you both in the same uncomfortable silence as before.

“So… what’s your favourite colour then.” Eddie asks in a monotonous voice.

“Black.” You respond sharply.

He looks at you like you just spat in his face. “Black’s not a colour. It’s a shade.”

Your fist clenches as you hold back the snarky comment stuck in your throat. “It has to be a colour as light is absorbed by it and we can physically see it with our eyes.”

“Uh no. Black is a combination of colours meaning it can’t be a colour itself it just exists as a shade.”

“Your logic makes no sense. If black is just a combination of other colours then how is it not a colour it’s just a darker tone than other colours.”

The palm of his hands dig into his eyes. “Even your favourite colour is dumb I swear-”

“And what makes your favourite colour so great?”

“My favourite colour is dark red like a normal person and it is the best colour.”

“That’s not even a proper argument- Why did you even start this fight? You sound like such a child.”

“At least I’m not an uptight prude.”

“Up yours Munson.”

The class is dismissed soon after and Eddie stays seated whilst you pack up your things. “I’ll write you a copy of my notes so you know what our project is.” You move to leave before turning back sticking your nametag lopsided to his desk. “That’s my name by the way asshole in case you ever wanted to actually know who you’re bothering with your childish bullshit.”

“I’ll try to keep that in mind sweetheart.”

You scowled as you walked out of the lecture hall, your head hurting and your face on fire as it dawned upon you that Eddie Munson was becoming Mr. Here To Stay.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson smut #slow burn #enemies to lovers #barista!eddie #eddie x reader #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you

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urlocalwhumper · 6 months

Text

end-of-life care.

the words bounced around in caretaker's head as they carried the tray holding whumpee's breakfast back to them.

it was the finality that got them. their desperate hope for some miracle solution dashed against the rocks when the doctor said there's nothing more we can do, just try to make them as comfortable as possible until the end comes.

they'd taken whumpee home that day. if there was nothing the hospital could do to help them, then at least the familiarity of home could help soothe them in their final days.

god, just thinking like that made caretaker want to throw up. they felt so helpless, so small in the face of the illness that was going to take the love of their life from them.

taking a deep breath, they gingerly opened the door to their and whumpee's room.

whumpee was awake, which was always a good sign. they seemed a bit lost in thought, but the corners of their lips twitched upwards when they saw caretaker.

"morning, sleepyhead." caretaker said, rustling whumpee's unruly bedhead and doing their best to keep their voice even and chipper.

whumpee gave a quiet hum in response, leaning into caretaker's touch.

caretaker helped prop whumpee up in bed, then set the tray down in their lap.

they held out the fork to them. "think you can do it yourself this time?"

whumpee accepted the utensil. "i can try." they said in their weak, crackly voice.

whumpee had a month. maybe two, according to their doctor. they were only in their mid-twenties, and they wouldn't live to see their next birthday.

they managed the first few bites on their own, but eventually their hands shook too much and they dropped the fork, unable to keep a proper grip on it.

they huffed out a frustrated sigh, while caretaker squeezed their other hand and kissed their forehead in consolation.

"it's alright. you wanna try again?" caretaker offered, but whumpee shook their head.

"i'm only gonna drop it again." they mumbled, and caretaker conceded, feeding whumpee the rest of their meal while they hung their head in shame, no matter how much caretaker told them it wasn't their fault.

after that, they carried whumpee to the bathroom, and waited outside for them to be done, to at least preserve as much of their dignity as possible.

if caretaker were to tell themself from two years ago that they'd be able to carry whumpee with ease one day, they'd probably be called a liar.

whumpee was a good head taller than them, and before their illness left them wasting away, they were strong too. once, when they were in school together, caretaker had twisted their ankle, and whumpee had carried them all the way from the running track to the nurse's office without even breaking a sweat.

now, whumpee struggled to lift a water bottle on their own, and caretaker could carry them like it was nothing. what a horribly ironic world they lived in.

once whumpee was finished in the bathroom, caretaker helped them dress and gently set them down in their wheelchair.

"it's nice out today." caretaker said. "and i know you hate being cooped up inside all the time. we could go hang out on the porch for a while?"

whumpee made an affirmative noise, so caretaker pushed their wheelchair out the front door, then transferred them into one of their porch chairs. if nothing else, they'd do their damndest to help whumpee feel as normal as possible, even through something as small as sitting on a shitty wicker porch chair.

it was one of the first proper days of spring, color and warmth starting to return to the world after the frigid winter. it was beautiful, in a way, but caretaker couldn't help but feel like it was mocking them.

day by day, beauty and life returned to the world, just as day by day, whumpee faded a little bit more.

they were snapped out of their increasingly bitter spiral by the sound of a quiet sniffle by their side. they looked over to see whumpee, eyes fixated on the environment in front of them, tears rolling down their cheeks.

"whumpee?" caretaker asked, slightly panicked. what if whumpee was in pain? had they accidentally put them down in an uncomfortable position? did they forget whumpee's pain meds? did they-

"i'm so scared." whumpee whispered, so quietly that caretaker almost didn't hear them at first. "i'm scared, caretaker. i don't wanna go."

caretaker felt their heart shatter into a million pieces.

"whumpee..."

"why- why do i have to go? what did i do? i- i'm so young, i've barely even lived yet." they hiccupped, steadily increasing in volume. caretaker grabbed their hand, and they clung to it desperately.

"caretaker, i'm scared." they sobbed. "i don't wanna die."

caretaker almost knocked their chair over with how fast they stood up, rushing to whumpee's side and gathering them up in their arms, hugging them tightly and peppering kisses all over their face. they were crying too, they could feel it, but they were focused on comforting whumpee as they released all the fear and despair they'd been bottling up from the moment they'd been told their condition was terminal.

"i don't want you to die either." caretaker said. "it's not fair. you don't deserve this." they buried their face in whumpee's hair, inhaling the familiar scent of their shampoo. "why is the world so cruel?"

the pair just held each other and cried for what felt like forever, clinging and finally letting out everything they'd repressed for the past year.

"will you be with me? when... when it's time?" whumpee asked, sounding so, so small.

"of course." caretaker whispered, holding whumpee impossibly tighter. "i'll be right here. i'll never leave you."

"thank you." whumpee murmured. "i love you." they paused. "...i'll miss you."

caretaker let out a tear-filled, mirthless laugh. "i'll miss you too. so much."

"i'll wait for you." whumpee said, before leaning back to look caretaker in the eyes with a mock-serious expression. "but don't get there too quickly. then i'll be mad."

caretaker laughed for real that time. "of course, of course. i'll try to stay on schedule."

whumpee smiled, then suddenly started coughing.

"eugh, now i'm all mucus-y." they complained.

"we should probably go back inside and clean up." caretaker looked down. "you kinda got snot all over my shirt."

whumpee sniffed. "my bad."

"eh, whatever. i have more shirts." they unfolded whumpee's wheelchair from where they'd left it and moved their partner back into it, before pushing them back inside to get cleaned up, as promised.

their problems hadn't gone away, but they'd at least managed to let all their bottled feelings out, and their hearts felt a little lighter for it. whatever came next, they'd face it together.

#whump #dying whumpee #terminal illness #caretaker x whumpee #mine #i don't have much commentary for this one #yeehaw or smth idk

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punisheddonjuan · 29 days

Text

Over the last week I've been back in my hometown of Hamilton staying at my parents' house and sleeping in my old bedroom. I had that optometrist appointment earlier in the week, it's Easter on Sunday, and I need to order my prescription at the pharmacy here on Monday anyway. So, an extended visit was an obvious choice. It's been nice. This afternoon I did a little dig through my closet after my mom mentioned that she would like to clear out anything in there which I wasn't keen on keeping. So I took a look, and while there was definitely stuff in there I am fine getting rid of, and in many cases can't remember why I hung onto it for as long as I did, there was also a bunch of neat old stuff in there.

Everything in that closet is thrown into a few banker's boxes, I wasn't quite sure what was in each of them. The first box I dove into turned out to contain all of my university coursework, all five years of it, and much of it disorganized and in disarray. I must have just thrown things in there, because there were loose sheets of translation work interleaved out of order, folders stuffed to breaking with photocopied journal articles and book chapters from different courses, syllabi and unrelated essays in messy piles, and various notebooks, loose notes and revisions. Organizing it all is not a task I'm up doing any time soon, and part of me doubts that I'll ever get it done, it's hardly important anymore. Surveying it all made me think on what a shame it is that I never have any occasion or reason to write things out by hand. I miss using my fountain pens, and my cursive was really quite nice.

I also found my official transcript, of which I have seven copies for reasons that have been lost to time. Presumably I ordered more copies because of grad school applications, but I can't remember.

I guess I did pretty well. And even though grades don't matter at all after you graduate, I did have to do a double take and think back for a minute trying to remember how the hell I managed to bomb Beginner's Ancient Greek II winding up with a C after getting an A in Beginner's Ancient Greek I (and then back to getting As after that). The memory did eventually resurface; I had deferred the exam on account of illness, but when it came time to write the exam in the summer, I wound up running a fever anyway, and on top of that, I was writing it a little over a week after my girlfriend had broken up with me. To be entirely honest, that summer and back half of the year is something of a blur. Welp, oh well.

Oh and hey, in one of those messy piles I found the paper for which I won a departmental essay contest and then third place in the national CAC undergraduate essay writing contest.

The professor's comments were far too kind. It's an okay paper for an undergraduate, I'd change a lot of things looking back at it now. I wonder what Dr. Corner is up to these days and if he finally finished his book. We had lunch together when I first moved to Toronto but that was years ago now. He was the professor I was closest to, a real mentor.

Buried behind the coursework box was another banker's box containing something entirely unrelated but very cool, these:

It's my old iPods! The 30GB iPod Video is completely dead, but the 160GB iPod Classic booted after I found a cable and gave it a quick charge. The headphone jack is busted, if I recall correctly, I had already paid to get it fixed once, and then it died a few months later. By that point I was fed up with having it fixed, and replaced it with an iBasso DX80. The electronics in it are still functioning fine; I might give a go at modding it into something I could put to use. Modding iPod classics is a whole scene these days and you can buy custom DIY replacement parts like microSD card readers to replace the harddrive, and there's custom firmware that allows the iPod to support higher capacity storage. Modding it shouldn't be too difficult and wouldn't even require much soldering. I'd replace the headphone jack, pull the 160GB HDD and replace it with a dual or quad microSD card reader and cram as many 512GB/1TB microSD cards it can take, and replace the battery with a higher capacity one. I stream my music collection from my media server to my phone via PlexAmp these days, but it would be cool to have an offline option, or something I can just leave permanently plugged into the Aux port of my stereo. My dad says he's got a 120GB model that half works floating around too, maybe I'll mod both of them.

There were a few other neat things in that second box like playbills from when I used to attend the opera. Which is yet another thing I used to be able to do and now miss terribly. That double feature of Bluebeard and Erwartung was phenomenal.

There was also a copy from one of the godawful and glossy annual "All About Sex" supplements the University newspaper published. I won't share pictures of that because there are a lot of half-naked semi acquaintances in there, but be assured, it's godawful.

In a third box I found approximately half of my physical PC game collection:

Check out that copy of X-Wing on 3.5" floppies and the sticker advising Windows and Pentium users that this is a DOS game. That's the very first PC game I ever got as a kid, received it as a present for Christmas '95. What you see there is less than half of what I know for a fact that I own on CD-ROM. Just off the top of my head I know I have physical copies of Half-Life, Red Alert 2, Tiberian Sun, Dune 2000, Emperor: Battle for Dune, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, Sid Meier's Civilization, Total Annihilation, Unreal Tournament, Star Wars Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight, Mechwarrior 4, Star Trek: Bridge Commander, Doom 3, Medal of Honor: Allied Assault, Thief 2: the Metal Age, Deus Ex and most of those games' attendant expansion packs. I didn't find any of them while clearing out the closet, which means that they're almost definitely up in the attic above the garage, along with the sci-fi and fantasy novels I had from adolescence which I didn't take with me when I moved. Getting up into that attic is a pain in the ass though, and it's cramped and stuffy once you're up there. Maybe next time I visit my parents I can put aside a day to go up there and locate everything. I'd really have to be feeling up to it though. I'm pretty sure my hardback copy of Good Omens is up there, as is my copy of Neuromancer, and the Black Company omnibuses. None of which I've read in years.

The only other things of note were a bunch of pewter figurines of wizards I had for unknown reasons and a few nice and largely unused (with the exception of a few pages that I must have torn out years ago) notebooks that I can put to good use.

Actually, I just figured out the reason I owned these and hung onto them. It's because they're rad as hell. Wizards rule.

#blog #personal history

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photogirl894 · 10 months

Text

"Sun and Rain Part 2: Age of the Empire"

Chapter 21

"Discomfort and Doubt"

A "Bad Batch" fanfic!

Pairing: Hunter x fem OC, Echo (more best friend pairing)

A/N: Holy crap, why did this take me so long?? 😫

I do apologize for being away from this story for a bit! Things got crazy at the end of the school year, then I started summer break and I've been a little busy since the start of that, as well. Plus, I've had a bit of writer's block in the middle of that, so that didn't help either 😒

Well, we're back with our favorite Clones and things are ramping up for the Imperial gala, which we'll be getting to next time! This is a long one to make up for the wait, so I hope y'all enjoy!! 💜

Taglist: @the-sad-batch , @nimata-beroya , @intrepidmare , @cole-kenxbi , @tech-aficionado , @ladykatakuri , @d1n0-dan , @sammi9498 , @darthzero22 , @scarlettrose9901 , @tech-deck , @thebadbatchscyare , @chxpsi , @ilikemymendarkandfictional , @4pplecider , @locitapurplepink , @l-lend , @nekotaetae , @eternalwaffle , @merkitty49 , @avathebestx , @idoubleswearimawriter , @techs-stitches , @fantasyproductions

《 Chapter 20

》 Chapter 22

All chapters (Part 2) (Part 1)

Explanation: Emotions are running high for many as the Bad Batch and Koriena Force make final preparations for the upcoming Imperial masquerade gala.

In a dark hallway, Rina was running from a pursuer who had ill intentions. They called out for her and carried with them a container filled with chemicals they wanted to use on her, which was never going to happen. They had sent two others after her, who were chasing her even faster. She ran as fast as she could. There was no way they were going to use those chemicals on her. It was dangerous and there was no telling what it would do to her. Her heart was pounding as she kept going and ducked into another room. She had to get away.

"It's no use, Rina! You know you can't hide from us!" one of the people chasing her cried out.

"I can and I will," she muttered to herself as she slammed her hand on the door console and made it close, locking it afterwards.

She slowly backed away from the door, still in a defensive stance in case they managed to come through. She figured they wouldn’t blast through the door; that would be too much of a hassle for them. She heard them come up to the door, there were beeps from the console followed by them frustratedly realizing that the door was locked. They spoke in hushed tones, quiet enough that Rina couldn't make out what was being said. Then she heard a whirring sound, a click and then a beep from the door console, the red light on it switching to green. She cursed to herself. They'd gotten the hacker to override the door. She should've known…and now, it looked like that maybe she would have to fight her way out.

The door slid open and the two chasers who'd been after her suddenly leapt into the room and they each grabbed her by an arm, quicker than she'd anticipated.

"Let me go!" Rina shouted.

"Stop fighting," one of them said as Rina struggled against their grip.

The third person walked in, the bottle with the chemical concoction in their hands at the ready. Rina's heart rate spiked at seeing it and the person drawing nearer. She fought harder against those holding onto her, but they weren't letting up. How she wanted to scream for help. Specifically, for Wrecker. If he were there, he could take care of them with no problem. To her dismay, he wasn't there. He and the boys were off on yet another mission. She was left to her own devices, but, as the person with the chemicals drew nearer, it looked like she wasn't going to get out of this one.

With an angry grunt, she yelled at the person as they approached, "I'll die before I let you use that on me!"

"...oh, will you get a grip, Rina? You'll get your color back, but this needs to be done!"

In the refresher room of the Aurora, Kida stood before Rina, rolling her eyes at her friend and unamused at the fact she had to sic Kimber and Lex on Rina to stop her from running. In her hand, Kida clutched a bottle of color stripping solution that she intended to use on Rina’s hair…and Rina was being less than cooperative.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” Lex warned Rina, who was still struggling against her and Kimber’s grip.

Just then, Irys walked into the room, holding a datapad. “I see you managed to capture our little fugitive,” she commented.

“Oh, bite me, Irys,” Rina replied flatly.

“Look, even though we stole his invitation, the doctor from Balmorra could very well find another way to get into the gala,” said Kimber. “He saw you and would recognize you immediately, even with a mask on.”

“Your hair is a dead giveaway, so we have to get rid of the color,” Kida added.

With a frustrated growl, Rina shot back, “Well, he saw Boss Lady, too! Why aren’t you coming for her hair and stripping it?”

Giving the solution bottle a shake, Kida told her, “Kimber’s hair color is much more common, which means she’ll still blend in just fine.”

Rina let her head fall forward and heaved a loud, heavy and exasperated sigh. “I must be out of my mind,” she muttered under breath. Then she lifted her head up and said reluctantly, "Fine, do what you gotta do…but I’m dyeing my hair again after the gala."

“You’re going to be fine. It’s not the end of the world,” said Irys.

Rina just mumbled in response.

Loosening her hold on her friend, Kimber looked to the other ladies and asked, “Is it that bad?”

Lex answered her, “Rina isn’t a fan of her natural hair color. She thinks it doesn’t suit her.”

Getting more uncomfortable with the whole situation, Rina just waved her hands around and blurted out, “Can we just get this over with before I become sane again?”

Kimber gave her a reassuring pat on the back and then said to Kida, “We leave her in your capable hands, Kida, and if Kori wakes up, we’ll watch him until you’re done.”

“You ladies are lifesavers,” Kida commented as she started unscrewing the cap to the bottle.

While Lex and Irys left the room, Kimber stole one more look at Rina and noticed how uncomfortable she appeared. She really did not want to do this to her hair. The unique coloring of her hair was a huge part of her personality and in doing this, it was almost taking that away from her, even though she knew she could easily dye it again later. Kimber felt she needed something to help her through this, so she told Kida to hold off on starting for just a minute and took off from the room. She made her way to Rina’s room on the ship and grabbed something she knew would offer Rina some comfort. Once the object was acquired, she ran back to the refresher.

“Rina…I think you need this,” she said to her friend, holding out the black and blue sweetblossom-laced tooka doll named Kicker that belonged to Rina, having been given to her from her sweetheart, Wrecker, months prior.

Seeing one of her favorite possessions, Rina’s unhappy scowl softened, touched at the fact Kimber had thought to bring that for her. She reached out and took the doll, running her thumbs over the fuzzy fabric. Then she brought it up to her face and deeply inhaled the sweet aroma of the sweetblossom inside that almost right away began to calm her nerves.

“You know me so well, Kimber,” she stated, her tone now more pleasant and at ease.

“That, I do,” Kimber answered as she flashed her a smile and then exited the room.

As she made her way down the hall, her comm device chirped and she heard the voice of her beloved speak through it, “Kimber, we’ve got the gear and supplies from Cid ready. Where are you and the girls?”

“We’re all on the Aurora,” she answered him.

“We’ll make our way there,” he said.

She grinned to herself. “I’m counting down the seconds until I see you.”

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?”

She snickered, knowing he’d pick up that she’d referenced words he’d said to her before. “Well, maybe I wanted to say it this time, my love,” she replied. “I’ll see you soon.”

She pocketed her comm device and remained standing in the hall for a brief moment, taking in the fact that she was now alone. The boys were on their way, Kida was with Rina and then Lex and Irys were off elsewhere in the ship. Being alone made her thoughts begin to wander and a familiar temptation rose up within her; one she still wasn’t sure why she continued giving in to. Nothing had come from it, which she knew from the beginning would be the result anyway. But she couldn’t shake the feelings she was having, so she decided to duck into Rina’s room, which she knew was unoccupied. Then she took out the encrypted holopad she kept with her now instead of in her pack. Her head fell back against the door for a moment after the door closed.

"I can't believe I'm doing this again," she whispered aloud as she went over and sat down in a chair in Rina's room.

She took a deep breath and activated the device to record her message. Then she spoke, her voice low, "Hey, Crosshair…it’s me again. I really don't know why I keep doing this. My other transmissions haven't resulted in anything from you, which I knew would be the case anyway. I'm sure you probably don't care to hear from me. I mean…why would you? You most likely see me as a traitor…but I promise you, I want nothing but the best for you. That's all I've ever wanted." Her throat tightened and she could feel the tears coming to her eyes, so she rapidly blinked to keep them from falling. "When will this end, Crosshair? When will you open your eyes and come home? I don't know what the Empire did to you to make you turn against us…but if I had known this was what would've happened, then I…I would've accepted Tarkin's offer to join the Imperial army."

Her attempt to keep from getting emotional failed and the tears fell down her cheeks. Through her quiet crying, she continued, "He had threatened to kill all of you if I refused, but I knew if he did, then at least we would all die together. But this…having you apart from us, resenting us and having tried to kill us…this is a fate worse than death to me. If I had known this was what would happen; if I could do it over again, then I would've taken Tarkin's offer to save you, Crosshair. Then, at least, you'd be safe and still with your brothers." She brushed her tears away, taking a deep breath. "I don't know if anything I say has any effect on you at all, but I need you to know that these are the things that are on my mind every moment we're apart. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you and miss you so much, it nearly kills me." She paused again for a moment, wanting to say a thousand more things and ask a hundred questions, but she knew there would be no point to it. Instead, she said in conclusion, "Know this, Crosshair: no matter where you go, no matter what you do…you'll always be my brother and I'll still love you. That'll never change…goodbye."

With that being said, Kimber ended the transmission and it sent. Most likely never to be watched, but she didn't care at this point. This was the only way she was able to cope with Crosshair’s absence and betrayal. It probably wasn't the smartest idea, but she felt she wasn't able to really talk about it with the Clones, so it was the best she had.

She put the holopad in her pocket and sat there for a minute, mulling over everything she'd said. Shortly after that, she heard baby cries coming over the ship's sound system, which meant Kori was now awake. Guess it was time to take care of the baby like she'd promised Kida. Carefully, she snuck out of Rina's room and made her way to Kida and Kori's room.

Though, as she walked inside the room, she found Irys already there, rocking the baby up and down in her arms.

"Oh! I heard him crying and thought I’d come check on the baby. I didn’t know you were already here," Kimber stated as Irys watched her walk in.

"Yeah, I happened to be close by," said Irys, continuing to rock Kori, who was starting to calm down.

Kimber just gave her a nod and moved to leave the room.

"I know what you were doing, Kimber."

She halted in front of the door. "What?" she asked.

With unwavering eye contact, Irys stated, "I know you were sending a message to Crosshair."

Kimber was shocked. How did Irys know? "I..I wasn’t--" she tried lying.

"You don’t need to lie to me," Irys interrupted her. "I walked by Rina’s room and overheard some of the things you were saying. It didn’t take me long to figure out what you were doing."

Hearing that, Kimber knew she couldn't talk her way out of it. Irys has figured her out. Instead, she sighed and explained, "I didn’t tell him where we are or anything. Plus, I’ve been using the encrypted holopad that Rina gave me a long time ago, so he can’t trace the transmission."

Irys's head whipped back to face her, her eyes widening slightly. "You’ve been using it? You mean you’ve done this more than once?"

Kimber rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Twice, actually," she admitted.

Then it was Irys's turn to sigh with exasperation. Setting Kori, who was now calm, back into his bassinet, she said to Kimber, "I don’t think it’s wise of you to be doing that."

"I know," said Kimber, hanging her head briefly. Then she lifted her eyes again. "It’s just…he’s like my brother. I love him and I miss him so much."

"I understand," said Irys, coming around the pram to stand in front of Kimber. "I’m not surprised that, despite what he’s done, you miss him and you’re trying to still reach out to him." She laid a hand on Kimber's arm. "You’re a good person, Kimber, with a very kind heart. Your compassion and trust is something few in this galaxy deserve yet you offer it freely to just about everyone you meet. You trusted us, a group of women with questionable and shady backgrounds, and now look at us…you helped us change for the better. With the way you talked about your boys when we first met, it doesn’t surprise me that Crosshair’s betrayal has affected you so much and you’re still holding onto the hope that you can get him back."

Kimber tried to muster a small smile in acknowledgement of Irys's reassuring words, but failed to keep it and she hung her head again in sorrow.

Removing her hand, Irys went on to say, "Though, I wouldn’t let that hope cloud your judgment. The reality of it is: Crosshair made his choice and it’s likely that continuing to pull on the thread that you can get him back will end in disastrous results. Just be careful, okay?"

"I will," said Kimber. Then she placed a hand on Irys's shoulder. "Please don’t tell any of the lads about this. I don’t know how they’ll react, especially Hunter. I know we promised to not have secrets between us, but…he doesn’t ever want to talk about Crosshair and I know it’s because he’s hurt just as badly as I am. I’m just handling it differently than him."

Irys bowed her head. "I won’t say a word. I still would advise you not to keep this from Hunter or your squad for long, but your secret is safe with me." Then her face fell a little and her tone turned solemn. "You’re not the only one who has to mask their real feelings around those they care about."

Kimber's hand fell away and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What did Irys mean by that? "What do you mean? What do you have to hide?" she asked.

For once, Kimber saw Irys appear hesitant and Irys turned her gaze away and replied, "I may be highly intelligent…but let’s just say that my heart doesn’t always act in accordance with my brain."

"I’m not sure I understand," said Kimber.

The Togruta woman closed her eyes and her head hung just a little more. "Meaning I care for someone against my better judgment...someone whom I know already cares for another."

Kimber found herself a bit stunned at this revelation. She'd never thought Irys had feelings for anyone since she'd never said anything. Kimber was about to ask who it was, but then Irys looked up at her with sorrow in her eyes Kimber had never seen from her and an almost knowing look. Something about the look she was being given gave Kimber the impression that she knew who it was Irys was referring to. She began to reflect on those in their group. It couldn't be any of the Bad Batch. Irys had never really showed romantic interest in any of them; the only one she interacted with the most was Tech, but he didn't have feelings for someone else like Irys said, so it couldn't be him. That left the Koriena Force. Well, all of them all had feelings for someone else, so that didn't seem to help. Kimber began to think of those in the squad that Irys seemed to interact with the most; the ones Irys seemed to have a closer relationship with...and then it became clear to her, realizing there was only one Irys seemed to show the greatest care for.

"Lex," she said aloud.

Irys got the tiniest sad smile on her face as she simply responded, "Yes…Lex." Then the smile disappeared and she hugged her arms across her chest. "I can’t let my true feelings be known, not when I know she’d never reciprocate them." When she looked back at Kimber and saw the sympathy in her eyes, Irys waved a dismissive hand and, going back to her normal demeanor, told her, "There’s no need to pity me. I accepted this a long time ago. She and I are still close friends and that’s all that matters to me."

The words Kimber was hearing from Irys were beginning to sound all too familiar…as she herself had once heard such words from another Clone Lieutenant some months before. Her heart began to ache and she put a hand over her chest.

"Do the other girls know?" she asked.

Irys shook her head. "No. I've carried this secret alone for a while." She sighed quietly and then went on, "That’s why I’ve pushed so hard for her to embrace her feelings for Echo. He’s a good man and I know he’s someone that can restore her faith in love, if he feels the same. I know he can make her happy and that’s what I want most for her is just for her to be happy. I can’t do that for her, not in the way she needs. What she needs from me is my friendship and I’ll gladly give her that for the rest of our lives."

Finally, Kimber couldn't hold back anymore and she threw her arms around Irys, hugging her tightly, which slightly startled Irys. "I’m sorry, Irys…," Kimber said, "...but it’s sweet of you to support her feelings for Echo. You really love her that much, don’t you?"

She felt Irys's arms slowly come up and hug her back and then Irys answered, her voice catching just a little, "I do."

Kimber's arms tightened to try and comfort her friend. "To care that deeply for someone enough to let them go and find happiness with another is incredibly selfless. I admire that about you," she reassured her.

Her mind once again wandered back to Jesse, now seemingly understanding what he went through with her. It seemed easier to sympathize when it was someone else involved instead of herself and not feeling that guilt of having to reject the other. Both Jesse and Irys were in love with people who would never return their feelings, but they were strong enough to accept that and even encourage those they loved to be happy with others. That level of noble loyalty and devotion to someone, despite the pain of unrequited feelings, was unlike anything she could ever imagine.

Kimber pulled back and placed her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Will you be okay?"

With an assuring nod, Irys told her, "Yeah. Don’t fret over me."

Just then, Kimber's comm beeped again and they both heard Echo's voice speak, "Look alive, Kim. We're approaching the Aurora."

"I'll let the ramp down for you guys," she replied. She gave Irys a nod and then left the room.

"Is all of the Koriena Force present?" then came Tech's voice. "We shall need to continue planning for the upcoming gala."

Kimber said into the commlink, "They're here, yes, but Kida is currently putting Rina through torture, so we might need to wait a bit."

"Why is Kida torturing Rina?" she heard Wrecker asked worriedly.

She chuckled. "Not literally, Wrecker. She's fine. Kida's just having Rina do something she finds unpleasant, but it's necessary. You'll see when you get here."

Then a smile crossed her face as Hunter's voice responded, "Be there soon, sweetheart."

About an hour passed before Kida emerged into the back room of the ship and declared with a flourish of her arms to the Koriena Force and the Bad Batch, who had since arrived, "My work is now complete."

Rina came out from behind her looking the most uncomfortable anyone had ever seen her, her cheeks bright red and her attention directed at the floor. The purple in her hair was gone and it was now a darker blonde color.

"Wow…so this is your natural look, huh?" asked Lex, who was lounging on the sofa next to Echo.

"I don't believe we've ever seen it," Irys commented to Lex.

"Shut up…," Rina mumbled.

Wrecker made his way over to her and Rina immediately wanted to curl up and roll away like a Droideka. Not Wrecker, she was already so embarrassed. She hated her natural hair color and now he had to see it.

He leaned from side to side to get a good overall look at her hair and then asked, "Rina, why do you look like that?"

Unsure of what exactly he meant, she asked, "My hair or my face?"

"That look on your face," he answered.

"I hate my hair…," she grumbled.

"Why? I think you still look amazing!" he cried out with a huge smile on his face.

Then Kimber spoke up from behind him, "Yeah, I think your natural color still suits you."

"Even I concur with that assessment," added Tech.

Omega ran up next to Wrecker and said with a heartwarming smile, "I think you look cute!"

"You look great, Rina. Don't worry so much," said Lex.

Kida smirked at Rina and just said, "See? I told you."

Rina blushed again at the support she was getting not only from her now sweetheart, but her friends, as well. She had also seen approving nods from Hunter, Echo and Irys, too. "Thanks, guys," she shyly replied to them.

"Now that that's taken care of, let's get to work and finalize our gala plan," stated Hunter. "What do we already know so far?"

Tech spoke up first, "The details from the gala invitation were that it is being hosted by Senator Gume Saam, the representative of the Techno Union in the Galactic Senate, on his home planet of Tibrin. Cid informed us that it's going to be a front for Imperial negotiations regarding the assets of the collapsed Trade Federation and Techno Union. Our objective is to gather as much intel from the gala as possible."

Raising her hand in the air, Kida said, "I already have half our outfits done."

"Already? It's only been a week," said Hunter.

She just smirked again and replied, "Yeah...I'm just that good, Hunter darling."

He simply gave her an impressed look.

"The first thing we need to determine is how we're getting in," stated Rina, folding her arms across her chest as she and Wrecker came over to join the others. Then she turned to Tech and asked him, "Hey genius, you duplicated those invitations yet?"

Straightening his goggles, Tech answered, "Indeed. There are now seven invitations in our possession."

"Though, even if we have invitations, that might not be enough," said Lex. "We gotta have a reason to have them and, if we're not any sort of Imperial higher-ups or emissaries of the Trade Federation, it could arouse suspicion."

"I agree," added Echo, bringing a hand up to his chin in contemplation. "If we're going in undercover, we need a good enough motive to be there."

"I don't think it'll work pretending to be certain Imperial personnel, not with a team of our size," Irys put in.

Omega stepped up. "What about the entertainment? All parties need music or something to distract the guests."

Wrecker said in reply, "None of us play any instruments."

With a bob of his head, Hunter stated, "Well, actually…Kimber does sing."

Kimber's eyebrows shot up at him making that revelation and all eyes were suddenly on her.

"You can sing?" asked Echo.

It hadn't even occurred to Kimber that Hunter was the only one who knew that about her. She had sung at a bar on Kuat when she and Hunter stayed at an inn some time ago, but after that, she'd never had any occasion to sing around the others.

"I can, yes," she answered timidly.

Pointing at her, Rina cried out, "That's it! Cid can contact an informant and get Kimber lined up as one of the entertainers and the rest of us can be her entourage."

Hunter turned to Kimber and asked, his tone calm and soft, "Do you agree to this, Kimber?" There was also a subtle apologetic look in his eyes as if trying to imply he was sorry for even bringing up her talent in the first place.

While she desperately wanted to say "no", it was seemingly the only good enough choice they had that would work. With a heavy sigh, she said back to him, "Yes, I'll do it."

He gave her a small, reassuring smile in return.

"You said there were seven invitations?" inquired Kida.

Tech said to her, "That is correct. Irys, Omega and I will remain on the Aurora to assist with the mission as well as to monitor your child, which leaves you, Hunter, Kimber, Echo, Lex, Rina and Wrecker."

While tapping her chin in thought, Irys suggested, "Kimber will have to be on her own if she's going to be singing, but it may be prudent to split everyone else into teams. That way, we can cover more ground and therefore, possibly gain more information."

Rina looked up over her shoulder and inquired, "What do you say, big guy? You and me wanna be backup in case things go south?"

With a giddy smile, Wrecker pumped his fist and proudly answered, "Oh yeah!"

Echo then said, "I can sneak off eventually and find an access terminal to the Senator's primary computer. I'm sure he's bound to have loads of information I can gather."

"Lex can go with you and watch your back," said Irys.

Lex's eyes widened. "Wait, what?" she questioned. "I--I don't think…."

"I'm okay with that," said Echo. He looked at her and a pleased grin crossed his face.

Seeing his smile made her feel warm inside, but at the same time, she wanted to turn away, which she did. A week prior, she had finally realized for herself that she had fallen for Echo and that whole notion scared her. Ever since her unfortunate fallout with Dune and his betrayal long ago, she was terrified of opening her heart to another man, even one as kind and wonderful as Echo. Since the night she'd gone to him in the medical room, she'd ended up only avoiding him when she could, even though it pained her to do so. Irys suggesting she go with Echo on the mission was going to make that difficult.

Her reaction did not go unnoticed by him.

After hearing Irys's suggestion, Kida leaned into Hunter's arm and said in a flirtatious yet teasing tone, "That just leaves you and me, handsome. We can scope out the crowd together."

Hunter simply grinned back in amusement. "Sounds like a good plan to me."

"You just want an excuse to flirt with all the Imps," said Rina.

Kida replied nonchalantly, "Maybe…but if you seduce a man the right way, you can get him to spill all his secrets. It's an effective method."

"All right, looks like we've got our plan," said Hunter to everyone. "Tech, Irys and Omega will stay aboard the Aurora to monitor the mission and assist when needed. Kimber is our ticket in as part of the gala's entertainment. The rest of us will go in under the guise as her attendants. Once we're in, Kida and I will mingle through the crowd and keep our ears open for any useful intel. Rina and Wrecker will do the same and serve as backup for Kimber if things go wrong. Echo and Lex will stealth out and find the Senator's primary computer and gather as much information from there as they can. Is that understood?"

"You got it, boss," answered Wrecker.

"Hear you loud and clear, Sarge," added Rina.

Then Tech said, "Now that our plan is finalized, might I suggest we sort through the gear and supplies we acquired from Cid?"

"Good idea, Tech," said Omega with her usual big smile.

"I don't know why you are so eager. You're not going to need any of the supplies," he replied to her.

"I know. Doesn't mean I still can't be excited," she said back.

Hunter grinned at Omega's enthusiasm and then declared, "Let's go then."

He led the way and everyone moved to follow him. However, as Lex got up to move, Echo spoke her name and she halted in her tracks. Why did she have a feeling this was going to happen?

When he approached, he asked, "Have I...done something wrong?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He went on to say, "Ever since the night you came to me in the med room, it seems like you've been avoiding me. Then just now when Irys suggested you go with me on the mission, you looked uncomfortable. Did I overstep that night or have I offended you?"

She should've known he would notice her behavior, but she couldn't allow him to think it was anything on his part. Shaking her head, she told him, "Echo, it isn't you. It could never be you." When he looked surprised, she said, "The problem is me…and I just can't talk about it right now." Without another word, she quickly left the room and followed after the others.

Echo opened his mouth to call after her, but then decided against it and let out a quiet sigh. He didn't understand what was wrong. Everything had seemed fine that night in the medical room when she'd opened up to him...it had all felt right. Now, she was shutting him out. He wanted to know why, but he also knew it would do no good to push her. He would respect her privacy for now, but soon, he would do his best to get answers from her.

Around a corner ahead, Irys had stayed behind and overheard everything. Lex had run past her and didn't even notice she was there.

"Lex…you hard-headed idiot…," she thought to herself, shaking her head in frustration.

The road those two were on was going to be a long one.

Kimber sat on the bed in her and Hunter's bunk, now just in her blacks, attempting to rebraid her hair as she waited for Hunter. They all had gotten the supplies and gear ready to go for the gala in the coming week and Cid, in remarkably quick time, was able to secure her a spot in the gala's entertainment lineup under the pseudonym Kahna Sora…and that was what was making her anxious.

She knew it was the best option for the mission in order for them all to successfully get into the gala, but…why did it have to be her? Why did she even agree to it? Would she even be able to do what was needed of her? She couldn't understand where all this self-doubt was coming from, but she couldn't shake it. Her fingers fumbled clumsily with her hair, which messed up her braid and she groaned in irritation, pulling it all apart again.

"My love?"

A familiar voice she loved brought her back to reality and she found Hunter sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, now also in just his blacks and looking her over with concern.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her, laying his hand on the small of her back. "I can tell something's bothering you."

"My role for the mission…I don't think I can do it," she admitted.

Taken aback, he inquired, "Why not? You've sung in public before. This won't be any different."

Turning to him, she responded, her voice rising slightly, "I did that willingly and this time, I'm singing in front of a bunch of Imperials. I'm there to amuse people who are wreaking chaos across the galaxy and who knows how many atrocities all of them as a collective have committed. Not only that, I'm doing it alone!"

Clearly hearing her frustration as well as sensing it, he assured her, "You may be by yourself on a stage, but sweetheart, you know you won't be alone. Rina and Wrecker will be there and same with Kida and I. You know we won't let anything happen to you."

"It just…feels so wrong," she said, hanging her head.

He brought her closer and rested his head against hers. "I know it does, but everyone believes in you. You're strong and capable; you've done undercover missions before, which is how I know you'll get through it again. We all have your back and if it'll ease your worries, we can have Kida add more armor and weapons to your dress to ensure you'll be protected."

Kimber rotated her head and nestled into his neck, inching closer against him for comfort. "Please don't go far from me, Hunter," she pleaded with him. "If somehow things go wrong, I need to know you'll be there."

Gently, he urged her back and lifted his head so he could look at her and he told her to turn around. She turned her back to him and he pulled all her long hair into his hands and began carefully braiding her hair, having noticed her distracted attempts at trying to do it herself moments before.

As he weaved the locks of her hair between his fingers, he told her calmly, "Kimber, you know I'll come running to your side immediately…but you also don't need me to." He saw her turn her head to try and debate what he said, but he stopped her by saying, still in a patient tone as he continued braiding her hair, "Just listen to me. You are a soldier; skilled, brave, resourceful and smart. It's okay to be nervous, but you've done this before. Your first undercover mission, you met Wat Tambor, a Separatist leader, and still stood your ground and even pulled a blaster on him without any fear."

"That was a stupid move on my part," she stated.

"But it was still a move that not only proved your loyalty to Echo, but that you were truly a soldier who belonged with us," he said back. "You are fully capable of handling things on your own and you fought to make me see that a long time ago. I'm not about to forgo that now." He tied the end of her braid and pulled lightly on her shoulder, making her turn to face him as he then took her hands in his. "If things go wrong, I will still fight everyone at that gala to make it to your side and I'll protect you with everything I've got...but you don't need me. Should the mission go south, I know you'll be able to take care of yourself. You and I both know it took me a while to bring myself to trust that because all I could think about was keeping you safe."

She very lightly scoffed and nodded. "Yeah, it sure did," she commented.

"I don't need to worry about that anymore," he told her. "The many missions we've been on together as well as seeing you lead the Koriena Force have fueled the trust I have in you to do things on your own without me having to be there. I know you'll be okay. You'll enchant those Imperials with your voice the same way you did with me and keep them distracted enough for us to complete the mission. You can do this. I believe in you and I need you to believe in yourself. Got it?"

Kimber smiled gratefully at Hunter, overwhelmed with love and touched at all the words of affirmation he had just given her. It still amazed her how much he had grown since their relationship first started; from hardly ever considering putting her in any danger to now completely trusting her to hold her own in a dangerous situation. He always knew the right things to say to help calm her down and quell her fears.

With a small nod of her head, she replied, "I will, Sergeant."

Pleased, he grinned and bowed his head.

"Thank you," she said.

"Of course. I love you and I'll always be here for you," he said back.

She laid her head on his shoulder again and said as she felt his lips touch the top of her head, "I love you, too."

Then he shifted backward towards the head of the bed, laid down on his back and then held out an arm to her. "Come here," he invited her.

Promptly, she accepted and laid down beside him, laying her head on his chest as his arm came around her, pulling her closer. His hand came up and held hers that was resting on his chest, as well.

"Forget your doubts, Kimber," he said softly. "You don't need to be afraid. I'm here…and I always will be." Then he placed a kiss on her brow.

Kimber lifted her head and lovingly kissed Hunter's lips before laying back down, now feeling content and protected in the safest place she knew: in the arms of her Hunter.

#star wars the bad batch #the bad batch #bad batch hunter #bad batch fanfic #hunter x oc fic #sun and rain fanfic

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chanelslibrary · 1 year

Text

Perceiving You-Chapter 1

Pairing: Chris Evans/Reader

Word Count: 2,866

Warning: None

Summary: In high school you had always been overlooked and labeled an Outcast. That didn't stop you from being hyperaware of the Popular Jock Chris Evans and secretly harboring a crush on him, while you navigated high school with your best friends Crystal and Pete. Seventeen years later, you have to wonder is it a coincidence that Pete, Crystal, and Chris all show up in your life again around the exact same time? You're older, wiser, and definitely more stubborn nowadays, so is it just another twist of fate when you suddenly start getting mysterious and threatening letters in the mail, or will your headstrong nature push away the Hollywood heartthrob that is back in your life and finally noticing you.

Author’s Note: I just wanted to point out there will be no use of y/n in this fic, but the reader's last name is Smith. Also this hasn't been edited by a beta, so sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes! Reblog/like if you enjoyed. Thanks! AO3 Prologue

Credits: divider @firefly-graphics

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・

July 2018

Present Day

It was a testament to how much you still loved your job that you went in a couple weeks early to get your office and lesson plans ready for the start of the semester. Most professors tried to squeeze every last ounce out of their summer break, but the nerdy little girl inside of you still got excited for the first day of school, even now that you were teaching. You were done printing out the syllabi for your British Literature class, so you decided to call it a day and started packing up. Once you finished tidying your cozy, corner office in the English department at Boston University, you locked your door and headed toward the main atrium. The hallways were mostly empty, but every now and again you would see a faculty member walking by, and you would nod or say hello as they passed. As you turned the final corner leading to the main atrium, you almost slammed into a tall, burly man, but caught yourself before you made impact.

“Excuse me!”

“Sorry!”

You both spoke at the same time. It was then you got a look at the man and his companion.

“Professor Smith! How good to see you!” You looked at the short, elderly man who had spoken to your left with recognition and smiled. Roger Adelson was the faculty on-border, who dealt with new hires. It seemed like yesterday he was showing you to the office you had just left, and where the restrooms were, when in actuality it was seven years ago you had started at Boston U. You’re snapped out of your recollection by your first name being called by the burly man you almost ran over. Your eyes slide from Roger to Pete. Peter Schlozinger! Your high school best friend, who you hadn’t seen in years. Your mouth drops. Pete is giving you a blinding smile, and the only thing you can do is reach out for a hug he returns. As you pull away you fully take him in. Pete has changed A LOT since high school. The once plump, nerdy boy you knew had grown into himself, still keeping his tall, bulky frame, but losing some of his baby fat. The patchy facial hair he tried to grow is now a full, dark, ducktail beard. His brown hair that he never knew how to style in high school, is closely cropped on the sides and back, longer on top, neatly parted on one side and swooped to the other, and the circular glasses he always sported are gone, freeing up his brown eyes. He was wearing a long sleeve, button down shirt with fitted dark blue dress pants, and brown dress shoes that matched his belt, and you noted that his style of frumpy t-shirts and ill-fitting jeans had changed as well.

“Pete, what are you doing here? Do you work here?” You ask, astonished you were speaking with your best friend from so many years ago.

“Yeah! I was hired about a week ago, and Roger, here, was showing me around,” He answers, nodding, before he looks over at Roger.

“You two know each other?” Roger asks, looking between Pete and you.

“Yeah, we were best friends in high school,” You supply, wondering where the time has gone. Roger smiles.

“Well, we were on the last leg of the tour, just showing Peter some of the other departments. But I’m sure you guys would like a chance to catch up! Peter, if you have any questions, you know how to get a hold of me. Professor Smith, lovely seeing you dear! Have a great time catching up!” Rogers states to you both before he’s shaking first Pete’s hand, then yours, and he’s off down the atrium stairs leaving you and Pete alone for the first time in seventeen years.

17 years?! No wonder Pete’s look has changed! At least he looked better since high school, you felt so self-conscious wearing your favorite boyfriend jeans, a faded RHCP t-shirt, and worn brown Birkenstocks, thrown together last minute before you left your condo.

You and Pete turn to each other in silence and smile. “Do you want to go to my office to chat?” You offer while pointing over your shoulder. Pete bobs his head in agreement, and waits for you to lead him.

“So, how are you? You’re a professor here, obviously!” He pointed out as the two of you walked towards your office. You chuckle and nod.

“Yes, I teach English and British Lit.”

“Wow! Very classy, and totally you!” He remarks with a smile.

“What does that mean!? Does that mean I’m predictable? Or just boring?” You ask, pretending to be offended as you lightly shove him in the arm. He chortles as he takes the hit. It feels nice to be able to joke around with each other again, as if you picked up your friendship where you left off years ago.

“It means ‘smartest person at our school’,” He purposely looked at you. “You were always reading Shakespeare, so it makes sense that you would get into academics, specifically British Literature,” Pete says with a raised eyebrow. You reach the door of your office, and as you go to unlock it and push it open you reply, “Yeah, you’re right, it does make sense,” You smile at him from the open doorway. “But I wasn’t officially the smartest, Kevin Edelman got Valedictorian, and I only got Salutatorian!” You remarked while Pete walked past you into your office.

“Yeah, I remember. Only ‘cause you talked about it nonstop leading up to graduation.”

“That’s because he stole the title from me! He took Pottery and got one more A than me,” You mumble. Pete holds back a laugh, and takes a seat in one of the chairs you gesture towards that is placed in front of your desk. You sit down in the chair next to him, smile at him, and say, “I can’t believe it's been seventeen years since high school!”

“I can! My back and joints remind me of it daily– ‘Pete you’re not a teenager anymore!’”

You burst out laughing alongside Pete.

You’ve missed him. And his humor.

“So…tell me about your life! I want to know EVERYTHING!” You begin with an enthusiastic look in your eyes.

“There’s a lot to cover in seventeen years…” Pete shakes his head with a soft smile and a shrug.

“Okay, tell me when you moved back to Boston. Last time we talked, you were in college in California,” You ask.

You can still remember the tight three-way hug Crystal, Pete, and you shared on Pete’s driveway the summer before freshman year, with the fierce August sun beating down as you tried and failed to hold back tears for your friend. Your hug was interrupted by Pete’s dad softly telling you guys he had to go in order to make his flight to California. Crystal ended up clinging to you while Pete ambled to his dad’s packed car with watery eyes behind his glasses. You and Crystal had promised to call him all the time, but what had started out with daily calls, once he was settled at University of California - Berkeley, eventually fizzled into monthly calls and slowly stopped altogether. The truth was that it wasn’t anyone’s fault. Life just got in the way. Between going to classes in Boston at the University of Massachusetts, studying, and trying to have a social life, you were stretched thin, and keeping up with your friend, Pete, on the opposite side of the country just fell off your list of priorities. Something that you still feel guilty about. It was hard enough staying close to Crystal, and the two shared a dorm room your freshman year.

Maybe that’s where things went wrong. After you were accepted to UMass Boston with a full academic scholarship, she applied and was accepted as well, and you both decided and were so excited to share a dorm room your freshman year. You made a few friends those first few months in your Gen Ed classes (a change from your Outcast status in high school), and you thought Crystal would embrace the social atmosphere of college too, but all she wanted to do was hang out just the two of you. You couldn’t blame her for wanting some familiarity by being with you. She was missing Pete, your old lopsided lunch table, and the comfort of your close knit group—but you thought college was fun—the parties, cute boys, and the challenging classes.

You’re a nerd who loves to study, what of it?!

But she didn’t really try to embrace college. You would take her with you to parties, or have her meet a few of your friends, and she would always be rude or cold to everyone, or sometimes not even show up at all. When you confronted her about her attitude she argued that you had forced her to do those things, so you decided to give her some space. She was always the same sarcastic, but lovable Crystal whenever you spent time with her one-on-one. Maybe she just needed more time to get used to college and everything that came along with it.

The final straw came right before Winter Break. Everyone was studying, or cramming, for finals week and you were planning to study with Lilly and Poppy, twins who were in two of your classes, who you had befriended. Crystal had voiced her dislike of the twins, which you didn’t understand, so when you hung out with them you did it away from your dorm, and didn’t invite Crystal after she declined every time. So that Monday afternoon, you were stopping by your dorm to grab a textbook and sweatshirt before joining Lilly and Poppy to finish studying for your test the next day. You had just stepped into your darkened room and flipped on the light when out of the corner of your eye you noticed a shape move on the bed to your right. Crystal's bed. You were startled, and dropped your keys as you looked over to see Crystal's unkempt brown hair pop up over her blankets, and her face appeared blinking. She slowly sat up. “‘S that?” She slurred. That is when you noticed clutched in her hand not folding down the blanket was a bottle of vodka. “Crystal?” You asked moving closer to her. She blinked some more, and must have fully awoken after hearing her name, although her eyes were definitely cloudy. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have class right now?” You asked as you looked at the clock on your desk. 2:28pm. She shook her head, and started to turn and lay back down. “Crystal!” You stepped closer to her bed and reached for the blankets, now noticing the stench of body odor and alcohol. Her side of the room was littered with empty whiskey and vodka bottles, abandoned food wrappers, and empty Coke cans used as ashtrays.

How long has she been like this? Why haven’t I noticed until now?

Guilt hits you like a punch in the gut. Pete wasn’t around, and you were all Crystal had. She hadn’t made many, if any, friends since school started, and now she was missing classes too. Had you been so consumed with your new friends and classes that you missed seeing your best friend suffering? “Jusss leave me. You don’t even care!” She shouted at you while she turned over. You stayed and cleaned up the room that day, but never got a chance to talk to Crystal about what had happened. She avoided you the rest of the week, and you later found out she never went to her classes or took her finals. Crystal dropped out of UMass, never returned for Spring Semester, or returned your calls or messages.

You explain a slightly edited version of this to Pete when he asks you if you’re still in touch with Crystal, leaving out your guilty conscience for feeling like you drove her to drop out. Pete asks about your life after college, and again you keep it brief and light, telling him you went to Oxford and are a Doctor of Philosophy in English, and that you loved living in London so much you stayed on as a research assistant for a few more years. You don’t go into the specifics with him about how your boyfriend of three years at the time Liam had just gotten hired at the University of London, and did not want to “jeopardize his career” by moving to the United States. Which left you with the choice of staying in London with him, an easy pick, or moving back and starting your career, the daunting decision. You chose Liam and London….and Liam chose to cheat. That made your choice considerably easier. You moved back to Boston. At first you worked part time at a local Community College and part time at Boston University for a couple of years, before the University hired you on full time five years ago.

You and Pete spend the next hour catching up, and it feels like no time has been lost between the two of you. He details how life was in California, and how he loved studying Computer Engineering, but after getting a Master’s and working a few years with his company he missed New England and decided to come home.

“And then one day about a year and a half ago, I was teaching a seminar for my company and really fell in love with teaching! So Shanna, my girlfriend, told me if I really loved teaching I should do it! So I put in my notice, started applying for professor positions, and I’ve been working as a Computer Science professor at Bunker Hill Community College for the past year,” He finishes.

“No way! I started at Bunker Hill!” You exclaim. He smiles, and the world seems so much smaller.

“I am still part time there, and actually only part time here at Boston U, since I don’t have that much experience. Or a doctorate,” He gives you the side eye with a laugh. You roll your eyes with a laugh.

“So tell me about Shanna. You have a girlfriend?!” You didn’t mean to sound so shocked, but you were still trying to reconcile the version of Pete in front of you–stylish, well groomed, a professor—with the boy you knew—so anxious around his crush he fumbled his drink and spilled it on her.

The visual of Vanessa Graham running away covered in Red Slushie will always bring a smile to your face.

“Yeah, she’s great! We actually met at a seminar I was doing at her work. You would like her!” His brown eyes go soft the second he starts talking about her, and of all the changes you noticed about Pete, this is the most surprising and the best. You found your protectiveness over your best friend hasn’t wavered even though you just reunited. If a woman like Shanna can have Pete singing her praises she must be special. You would also like to give her some props for helping to get Pete into an article of clothing other than a T-shirt!

“Well I already do if she's inspiring you to pursue your passion! I need to meet the woman who has caught my best friend's heart.” His smile is wide, and his eyes crinkle at the corner as he makes plans to have you join him and Shanna that weekend for lunch.

As you walk out to your car, after exchanging numbers in order to confirm a time and place for Saturday's lunch, you feel what can only be described as a ‘lightness’ in your being you haven’t felt in a long time. The feeling carries you through the rest of the week, into a cute, yet funky restaurant–The Friendly Toast–where you meet up with Pete and are introduced to Shanna. She’s lovely. Shorter than Pete, with soft wavy brown hair and clear blue eyes that are set in her heart shaped face. Shanna is so sweet throughout the lunch as you get to know each other, and the ‘lightness’ and joy of having your best friend back in your life increases because now it feels like you’ve gained another friend! Towards the end of your meal, when you were asking Shanna about her family, Pete interrupts and casually says “Guess who Shanna is related to? Chris Evans.” You freeze with your fork halfway to your mouth. Pete continues on. “You remember him, right?” Shanna must already know we went to high school with her brother since she continues eating her meal, unfazed. Or she thinks you know him now that he’s a movie star. She doesn’t know how you feel about him. Used to feel about him. Right?!

You look up from your plate, Pete and Shanna are looking at you expectantly. The ‘lightness’ is gone, and your food feels like lead in your stomach.

“Yeah.” You exhale. Your best friend was dating Chris Evans’ sister. It really is a small world after all.

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