#oops this took me so long to post lmao

[hauntedtrait]

thank you everyone for giving me some townies to makeover for this as i requested in this post, it was a lot of fun <33

ophelia nigmos & nervous subject suggested by @alltimefail-sims

raj rasoya suggested by @rainymoodlet

erwin pries suggested by @ezra-trait

darling walsh suggested by @morrigan-sims

and cassandra goth suggested by @hollowmidnights

#sims 4 #s4 edits #s4 townies #ts4 edits #ts4 townies #s4edits #ophelia nigmos #raj rasoya #erwin pries #nervous subject #darling walsh #cassandra goth #oops this took me so long to post lmao #gotta work on the fictional characters next #townie makeovers #townie makeover #six townies makeover

[thecherrygod]

Robot hdb and mechanic/technician kim pt 2, more serious this time

@morphlingunderscore thank you for taking interest in this!!! originally i didn't have too many thoughts about it but.... Something shifted, and last night i couldn't stop thinking about it, sorry if it got a bit too long kdkdkgks i got more invested than i thought i would

Maybe he was made by Dora? As part of a prototype series of robots, i think hdb could be harrys model And maybe she even named harry just. Harry. Bc there was something about him, about how programming, that was faulty but made him special (the skills. They make him too human while not human enough) (also maybe part of his program knows he had a name but it got wiped too, and he is fixated on it, on having lost that. .... It could be kept as part of a letter in a compartment somewhere in his robotic body... Maybe even in his chest cavity... Maybe Kim finds it when having to fix something in there........ No concrete thoughts there, just a vague idea that I'm keeping here.)

At first this would be very interesting, getting herself attached to him (and i feel like it's also the thing that makes Kim so invested in him later down the line)

But. Things keep breaking, he has blackouts (maybe caused by overheating? Maybe the skills cause the overheating and/or short-circuiting?), He keeps messing up his tasks, and his system may not be fully capable of following the classic three laws of robotics all the way through. It gets exhausting, she has better projects to work on, others that can stop being prototypes, more worthy of time and resources, that will get recognition, and get her out of the place they're living in.

And so she leaves, and leaves her old lab and obsolete projects to gather dust never to be used again.

Kim, on the other hand, really just is a mechanic for the most part, but he can really work with any machine, and would know about programming and circuits and everything, having learned about this on his free time.

This interest starts properly after having moved from foster families a few times, and managing to get a mechanic to take him and teach him how it all works, getting his hands on an actual engine,tho hes always been interested even as a child, from what he could find in books.

He has his own garage now, and works on any machine you bring him, from cars to a microwave, anything that helps him pay the bills and allows him to work with things he enjoys. Also doing these kind of household appliance fixes makes him go out in search for any parts that he may need for his job, whatever's cheaper (por straight up free, of you know where to go)

I think that, like in canon, it's thanks to Kim that harry wakes up again. In this case maybe hes looking around for something and manages to shock harry in a way that his body starts right there and then? Idk too much about this kinda stuff and it's late. It could also be noise with enough vibration to make Harry's gears shift again. But as i said idk about machines I'm general nor if that makes sense/is possible)

The rest is basically this: harry helps Kim find parts, either that they can use on him or on other machines. He malfunctions more now bc both of the prevailing issues, the wipe out, and the passing of time, and Kim is willing to fix the parts he can, and understand the ones that seem to make no sense, and this, all this, new, can bring a change to Kim's monotonous life, spark something in him, also be confronted about some of his being stagnant by harry. Also the wipeout isn't a complete thing, this guy would realize Kim likes speedfreaks and would use himself as a radio to play it just to see him have a good time, for example. His skills still work with understanding humans (... Sometimes).

another way of doing this tho would be hay being made for the rcm (still Dora's creation imo). Faulty but good for all the same reasons + this robot will give you a ridiculous list of theories/keep track of evidence/of witnesses) alibis/the things that have no relation to the case you don't want him to remember but still does.

In this case one of his faults could also be in fact his memory, and it being faulty enough it had an almost full cleaning could be from people trying to delete info from it and failing. Or him doing it himself so he feels like he still has a reason for not being discarded by the rcm. And kim could still be part of the rcm but both as a mechanic and a detective, or just mechanic, or just detective on paper but with the knowledge

#my posts #disco elysium #harrykim #should get a name for the au so i can find it on my blog sldkcldkg #also!!! thank you for your interest!! and for thinking im funny lmao glad to know #... i am weak to speaking about harry and dora honestly it just captivatea me it feels important to add when i can kekvlehlw #also uhm. at the time of typing all this i didnt really see what i wrote in my own tags IFDKKSGKW something overtook me as i wrote this #so.. i hope this is kind of ehat you asked for!!!! #its the next day i added the rcm thing lmao #hdb #kim kitsuragi #dora ingerlund #also added more tags fkdkgks and the readmore bc it got a bit long oops i lovr them your honor #finally managed to proofread it also kdkgkw its 5 pm i wrote that at midnight sorry it took a while im still on a bus kgksvls #ok im poating it yet again thank you for your interest on this!!! i just think it can have a good potential #.... yeah! #... i still dont know if i proofread it properly lmao if something foesnt makes sense or anything please tell me #... or your ideas on this id love to ses other people's takes on it if anyone wants to kekgkehk #anyways!!! #you know what im editing out the readmore. look at my posts #robot hdb au #i think im gonna call it that #simple lmao #to find it in my blog later mostly

[cuteniarose]

can you plz infodump about your ocs?? so new people to your blog can understand them

Hey, anon? I hope you know that this ask is the best one I’ve gotten in all my 3 1/2 years on this hellsite, so thank you!! You really don’t need to know about my OCs to follow this blog cause a) I post once in a blue moon nowadays, and b) it’s rarely about my OCs, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED-

K, so, my main OCs are Suiren and Midori, sisters who just so happen to be Ghazan and Ming-Hua’s daughters. They were 7 and 4 respectively when their parents were imprisoned for trying to kidnap Korra, which led to them being placed in the ‘care’ of Ghazan’s older sister, Haya. What happens to them after that? Well, you’d have to be more specific, since I have about a trillion different AUs featuring them. The two most important ones (aka the ones written down) are:

1. Seeds of the Red Lotus. The very first fic I wrote about them, which I... haven’t updated in two years. It currently stands at 5 chapters BUT I am in the process of rewriting and continuing it. The basic concept is that the girls grow up in utter misery under Haya’s iron fist, and in a desperate attempt to get enough money to leave and live a happy, comfortable life somewhere else, Suiren becomes an assassin at the bright old age of 17. Fast forward 6 years, and Team Avatar, unable to take down the Earth Empire on their own, hire her to kill Kuvira

2. Under the Oak’s Shade. A rather self indulgent AU written as a form of catharsis and spiritual healing. Six months into living with Haya, the girls are taken in by Zhi, a cranky lesbian with a bad sense of direction/P’Li’s firebending teacher from the Red Lotus/my friend @katkastrofa‘s OC from her fic Lost and Found (which, unlike the multichaps I write, is complete and you should go read it immediately). Once I pull myself together to actually figure out how the next instalment in the series should go, this will, most likely, eventually become a Red Lotus Korra AU, which I’m definitely looking forward to writing.

Now that the basics are out of the way, let’s get to actual infodumping about my two precious cinnamon rolls. Most of this info is from SotRL-verse, as that is the main story I’ve got about them, so keep that in mind

-

Suiren:

23 years old as of 174 AG. Master waterbender and deadly assassin. Cold, calculating and precise in everything she does, leaving no room for error. Takes no shit from anyone, is fiercely defensive and independent, and is the last person to ever accept any help or charity. Confident in her abilities and borderline cocky at times, a lot of which is a front. Extremely short tempered, nihilistic, cynical and high strung, not willing to let anyone get close enough to her to see her hidden vulnerabilities

She wasn’t always like this. A long time ago, back before she lost her parents, she was much, much softer, kinder and more gentle. Her parents called her their little water lily, and the nickname suited her well. However, P’Li’s nickname for her was ‘my little firecracker’, so she very much still had quite a temper even back then. Overall, she was a happy little girl with bright eyes and a mischievous smile who was determined to excel in her waterbending lessons. She was Ming-Hua’s pride and joy. 16 years of taking the brunt of Haya’s anger to shield her sister, as well as destroying the part of herself that wouldn’t let her mindlessly do the bidding of whoever paid her, changed her, perhaps irreversibly.

Her old life still haunts her, though. Genetics played a cruel joke on her – the silky black hair reaching below her waist, the angular features, the prominent cheekbones, the (relatively) short height – it all serves to make her see her mother every single time she glances in the mirror. Being just like her mother was something she once aspired to, but now follows her like a curse. Even the things she got from her dad, dark skin and golden brown eyes, don’t help, and just make her look like Haya, especially when she’s angry

There is another side to her that no one but Midori gets to see. She may not be as soft as sixteen years ago, but she is still capable of love and gentleness. She loves her sister more than anything else in life, has already killed and would die for her. She is very protective of Midori (though often to a fault). She hugs her tight and kisses her forehead and cheeks, quietly sings her (their mother’s) lullabies as she calms her down from a nightmare, heals any and all her wounds, tells her stories of their parents, always puts her first no matter how pained and exhausted she herself is... In short, Suiren took on the role of a self sacrificing parent a long time ago and has played it well

Suiren is a distinguished lesbian but can’t keep a partner longer than a few weeks. Girls fawn all over her, but once they see past the pretty face and confident demeanour and notice everything wrong with her, they run (which only serves to make Suiren’s abandonment issues worse). She has taken to sticking to one night stands when she needs an outlet for her frustrations, convinced she will never have, and isn’t deserving of, a long lasting, loving relationship

She struggles severely with her mental health, constantly plagued by what she has done. She tries to limit her sleep to avoid nightmares that she knows will come and represses all emotions except for anger as that is the safest to latch onto and channel into killing. She is almost always on edge and feels pressure mounting with every single day. Very prone to overstimulation when it comes to noise, light and people. The only times she ever relaxes (or, at least, pretends to) is when she’s alone with Midori or with Lotus, her pet sabertooth moose lion.

To sum up: the poor girl is a vessel for my trauma and deserves a 30 hour nap, a hug, a warm blanket, the whole world and her parents back

-

Midori:

20 years old as of 174 AG. Earthbender, though not very good at it. She discovered her earthbending only a few months before losing her parents, and had no one to teach her since then. She is naturally kindhearted and hardworking, always trying to help out where she can and seem useful. Quiet and anxious, she prefers to stick to the background and draw as little attention to herself as possible (which is in fact a defence mechanism against Haya’s treatment of her but, y’know, let’s not get into that rn)

Sixteen years ago, Midori was a bright and happy little girl, wanting nothing more than for everyone around her to be happy as well. Always full of energy, she could talk and ramble for hours about anything that crossed her mind. Just as mischievous as her sister, she knew she was the baby of the family and could get away with anything, though to her credit, she didn’t abuse that much. Her parents called her their little Seedling, the youngest of them all so full of potential and eager to grow and make her parents proud. P’Li often called her a cuddlebug for her affectionate nature (am I stealing that from Kat’s fic bc it made me scream into my pillow for five minutes straight? Maybe. You can’t prove anything).

In present age, she’s a lot more similar to her childhood self than Suiren is. She doesn’t talk that much anymore, if at all, and her happiness is often clouded by the harsh world around her, but some of that cheerfulness still shines through, especially when she’s alone with Suiren or with Tenzin’s kids. The energy once used for rambling and chasing butterflies and racing with her sister is now almost always redirected into chores and housework, though if Suiren offered, she’d gladly race her again (and probably win tbh, her legs are longer and Renny prefers faster methods than running)

She doesn’t remember her parents well, and their faces have blurred beyond recognition in her mind. It’s why her appearance doesn’t affect her as much as Renny’s own does her. She’s not a carbon copy of either of her parents like Suiren is, she’s more of an even mix. She knows what Suiren had told her, that she has their mother’s eyes and their father’s nose, but can’t piece anything together in her head. She keeps her hair, as dark and silky as Suiren’s, though thicker, at shoulder length, a bit uneven in places as she cuts it herself. As a child, Ghazan would tie her hair into twin pigtails every morning and she never let anyone else do it. She hasn’t styled her hair in any way since she took those pigtails out before going to bed the night their parents left

A disaster bisexual, proven by the fact that out of all people in the world, she falls for Opal Beifong. You know, the step sister of the woman Midori’s sister has to kill (or die trying), and the daughter of the woman who killed Midori’s beloved auntie P’Li. Yeah, tough case. Anyway, turns out, there is a limited supply of Ghazan’s charm in his genetic code and it all got passed down to Renny, because ‘Dori herself turns into an awkward mess whenever the opportunity to flirt arises. It’s fine though, Opal still finds her adorable. Also she probably had a small crush on Bolin when they first met, but that was because he was one of the only people her age to be nice to her and she got over it quickly

Remember how I said she was quiet and anxious? Yeah, understatement of the century. Her anxiety follows her around throughout her day and is the driving force behind all of her decisions. Many things, from raised voices to passive aggressiveness to bad moods to unfinished housework, can trigger it. When it does, she clams up and curls in on herself, but tries her best to deescalate or rectify the situation. She’s also very sensitive to any kind of conflict, even when she’s not part of it. Midori also worries a lot for Suiren while she’s away on missions, as she knows she’ll completely fall apart if something were to happen to Renny. She has nightmares about it often, almost every night that Suiren is not there. Little does she know, Suiren has similar worries over losing her.

Another big thing is her major inferiority complex. She looks at her big sister and sees someone who has always been talented, powerful and capable. Someone who can do so many things without even breaking a sweat. Someone who has girls fawning all over her. And then ‘Dori looks at herself and sees none of those things. She doesn’t hate Suiren for it, not at all, but tiny inklings of disdain sometimes take form. She tries hard to ignore it, but often can do nothing but listen to those thoughts swirl around in her head.

In summary: An anxious mess of a girl who is in desperate need of a proper support system and someone (*cough* Opal *cough*) who could assure her that she is enough and that it doesn’t matter if she isn’t like her sister, she’s perfect just the way she is

-

If you want me to elaborate on any of this (and this goes for everyone, not just anon) my askbox is always open and my desire to infodump about my precious traumatised babies never wavers

#oops this took me over a month to finish typing out lmao sorry #if you see any typos no you don’t #it’s almost 2 am give me a break #but no really so many concepts so few promptings to spill them all out in an infodump tsunami #talk to me about my OCs please I promise their story is interesting #if it’s sounds like a weird wattpad novel in places that’s because I was 12 when I came up with them #it almost was a wattpad novel #okay okay I’m done I’m going to bed now bye #original characters #seeds of the red lotus #sotrl suiren #sotrl midori #the legend of korra #the red lotus #fanfiction #lok #legend of korra #red lotus #long post

[rosyblooom]

levi's jeans | ln4 smau

PAIRING: lando norris x fem quadrant!reader SUMMARY: y/n loves levi's jeans—it's all she wears, ever. so when lando has to draw her in a quadrant video, that's what he draws: levi's jeans. a bad attempt at flirting? maybe, but it gets the ball rolling. A/N: been listening to 'levii's jeans' 24/7 since the album dropped omg

Youtube - Quadrant

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yourusername happy now??? i don't only wear levi's jeans see😌

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username the lando tag??? lmao his drawing is still on her mind💀

username no but the way I didn't even question it when he drew jeans for y/n lool username @/levis I found yall's next collab partner

landonorris Why'd you tag me in this 🤣

yourusername u drew the jeans🙄 username ...how about u guys kiss and makeup hmm?😏

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username babe me too username me three 🙋‍♂️ username i've been thinking little lando has a crush👀 it was soo obvious in the yt vid

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landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: New Quadrant video out now!! Swipe up to watch ]

Youtube - Quadrant

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[ caption: 👖 ]

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[ caption: let's ride 🏍️ ]

[ tagged: landonorris ]

f1gossipofficial

liked by username, username, username and 12,400 others

f1gossipofficial After two months of being spotted together numerous times in London and Monaco, and stirring up dating rumours, Lando Norris and fellow Quadrant member Y/N L/N were recently seen off the coast of Spain, soaking up the sun and looking pretty cosy.

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username cause they're in the ocean??🤣 username a win is a win idc !!

username noo i hope they're just friends😭💔

username they're both so hot omfg

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yourusername so happy to announce my levi's x y/n collab that's coming out next week friday!!😭 as everyone probably knows (and is sick of lol) i love me some levi's, so this collection has been soo much fun to work on and i'm very excited for you guys to see it!!🤍❤️💙

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riabish soo proud of you 🩷

yourusername ily🥹❤️

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landonorris Never getting sick of your levi's jeans obsession🤣 So proud of you baby ❤️👖

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username took yall long enough🤧

yourusername 🩷🩷

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3:35 ─────────ㅇ─── 4:17

#f1 smau #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris #lando norris x reader #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #f1 imagine #ln4 x you #lando norris smau #lando norris x female reader #lando x y/n #lando x you #lando norris fanfic #smau #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #f1 instagram au #fanfic #f1 fic #lando x reader #ln4 fic #f1 scenario #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris one shot #formula 1 x you

[satoruwiki]

How about first time virginity loss (reader) drabbles or headcanons for choso, gojo, sukuna and naoya? Maybe? Pleeaase

no 👺 jk here you go love <3

ε ❤︎ з CHERRY POPPING! ᡴꪫ

MINORS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DNI!!

content: nsfw; smut; jjk men hcs; drabbles? more like oneshots lmao; loss of virginity; afab!reader; fem!reader; fingering; cunnilingus; p in v sex; unprotected sex (oops)

n/a: i felt lwk awkward writing these bc i didn’t really know how to write sukuna and naoya without being traumatic, so i tried my best to make it ‘readable’. also the reader insert may be awkward too so sorry abt that. took me a while write this so give it much love pls! these are my hcs! feel free to agree or disagree :b as well as english isn’t my first language and im still a rookie at writing so bear with me please! any request/interaction supporting this post is very much appreciated

CHOSO & GOJO w.c: 1k

The type to talk to you and ask you how you feel throughout the process. Will definitely ensure you’re okay and enjoying it as much as they do. They’ll talk to you sweetly and praise you for taking it so well. Cute aftercare.

“How does it feel?” He asks, his thumb gathering up the slick dripping out of your pussy to your sensitive clit, rubbing it in gentle circular motions. You moan quietly and nod, angling your hips for more of his touch. “Good,” you sigh, holding onto his bicep as you keep eye contact with him, your chest heaving at every heavy breath you take. He smiles softly and leans to kiss you again, his lips weaving against yours while his free hand reaches to cup your breast and gently plays with your nipple. You moan into the kiss, parting your lips slightly open to allow his tongue to slip inside. Satoru kept rubbing your swollen clit as he pushed one finger into your clamping walls. You winced at the strange sensation of his finger suddenly intruding inside your virgin cunt, making him immediately stop and pull his finger out. “Are you alright?” He asks, his eyes portraying concern.

“Y-yeah! It’s just that it felt kinda weird,” you reassure him. “You can keep going if you want…” you added embarrassed he stopped because of you, feeling your face growing hot.

He chuckled lightly and pressed a chaste kiss on your lips to soothe you. “Okay, I just want to make sure you’re okay. If you feel it’s too much we can stop anytime, alright?” He says, bringing his hand to caress your cheek, you nod once again unknowingly leaning to rest on it, feeling your heart flutter and comforted with him. He then buries his face into your neck, dropping soft kisses onto your skin, nipping and sucking the area until it bruises. “You’re so pretty,” he mutters as he presses his lips on the side of your neck, his warm breath hitting your skin and sending shivers throughout your body.

You whimper, your back arching off the bed as he reinserts his finger inside you, pumping in and out slowly. The act at first feels uncomfortable and strange. But the pleasure gradually takes place as his words of praise and the way he adores your body have you moaning his name. He laps a long stroke along your neck as he pumps another finger inside your gummy walls, curving them upwards to reach that sweet spot that has you curling your toes and writhing underneath him. You feel your legs shake and weaken, the knot you felt in your lower body tightening and your walls spasming around his drenched fingers of your arousal.

Unexpectedly, he pulls his fingers out of you, having you whine at the sudden emptiness inside your aching pussy, begging for release. He giggles at your reaction, bringing his drenched fingers to his mouth, licking them clean of your slick. You gasped, speechless by the obscenity of the action. Despite its lewdness, you couldn't help but feel your lower part throb, having you swallow your saliva thickly.

He positioned himself between your legs, placing his fat tip between your folds and rubbing it upwards to gather as much slickness as he could, coating his cock from your arousal. The tip of his cock brushed against your swollen clit, making you moan and grip the bedsheets underneath you in anticipation. He gave himself a few languid tugs, smearing his pre and your slick across his length and guiding his cockhead onto your wetness.

You bit your lip, feeling your nerves on edge which he seemed to notice, as he reached to hold your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours.

"I'm gonna go slow, okay? Tell me if it hurts too much and I'll stop," he tells you, waiting for you to give him the green light. Once you nodded, he pushed in slowly, inch by inch. He was being extra careful with you, as if scared to hurt you in any way. You hissed and shut your eyes firmly, feeling a hint of pain as his girth stretched you out. You squeezed his hand and clenched your other hand into a fist until your knuckles turned white. With your heartbeat pounding in your ears, you whimpered adjusting to his size.

He stopped midway, kissing your tears away with tenderness. "You're doing great. Relax and take deep breaths, okay?" he cooed, peppering kisses around your face, distracting you momentarily from the pain as he pushed until he was finally fully sheathed inside of you.

Once you felt somewhat at ease, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he started setting up a pace, his dick massaging your inner walls slowly. You sunk your moans into a passionate kiss, your lips against his silken smooth lips. His hands tenderly roamed across your skin, one finally resting on your waist to steady his languid thrusts inside you.

"You feel so good, taking me in so well," he purred, his mouth reaching down to your chest and taking one of your breasts into his mouth, sucking and nipping at your pebbled flesh. You whined, digging your nails into his back muscles, the fire in your abdomen having you arching your back so beautifully, you felt a type of pleasure different from any you had experienced before, it had you dazed and lightheaded.

"You like that?" he asked, his breath heavying as he pistoned inside you. You whined, feeling the coiling tension in your womb about to snap and nodded. "Yes," you hissed repeatedly, tears of pleasure welling up in your eyes. His pounds became more erratic as he chased his release. "F-fuck you're so tight, so good f'me," he panted, biting his bottom lip to hold his lewd sounds from coming out. With his name on your lips, you shuddered underneath him, coming undone as your vision became blurry and your guts tightened. His thrusts became sloppier as your walls spasmed around him, making him throw his head back in ecstasy and let out a guttural groan. He rolled his hips until he thrust one last time, going still as his warm cum painted your insides.

Careful to not crush you, he pulled out and slumped to your side, his chest heaving in exhaustion.

"How'd it feel?" He asked steadying his breath as he beckoned you to come closer. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his chest glistening in sweat. "Good, really good," you hummed, struggling to keep your eyes open. "Glad you liked it," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Let's clean ourselves then we can go to sleep, yeah?"

SUKUNA & NAOYA

w.c: 1.1k

Minor praising, just to make you feel slightly better (a little backhanded). The type to say “quit whining, you’ll like it”. Will take all of his willpower to not thrust all at once, and they won’t, just because they take you into consideration. Definitely the type to feel pride in ‘taking away’ your innocence.

"Ah! It's too much! Too much!" You cried out, gripping the bedsheets tightly until your knuckles turned white. You tried to scoot your hips away, your movements being immediately halted by a firm grip, pulling you back to your original position close to his relentless tongue. "Quit whining. You'll get used to it and like it. Soon you'll be begging for more," he said, spanking the side of your asscheek as a reprimand. You squealed as he went back down lapping at your sensitive bundle of nerves. You huffed, your hips jolting at each flick his tongue did.

Your nerves were on fire. You moaned his name like it was a mantra to you. His fingers were knuckles deep into you as he sucked on your puffy lips and stroked your abused clit in circular motions. "Fuck, you're squeezing on me so tight and I haven't put in my dick yet," he teased, gaining a whine of embarrassment from you. His thick fingers scissored inside your heat, making you whimper. You felt close to reaching ecstasy.

"W-wait! I think I'm going to I'm-" Your words were cut short by a loud moan after he sucked harshly on your clit, making you see stars. Your hips jerked as you made a gushing mess on him and the bedsheets, waves overtaking you. He rode you through your orgasm, eating you out like a starved man.

"So you're a squirter, huh?" he hummed, his lips glistening in your arousal. Your legs weakened and quivered, you were in a dazed state as you gathered your breath. "How did that feel? Good?" He asked, getting up closer to your face. You nodded weakly, staring at him through lidded eyes. You swallowed thickly. "Yeah," you sighed.

"Good," he hummed, pulling you for a sloppy kiss, the taste of your cum still in his mouth. His tongue brushed against your lips, asking for permission to enter. You moaned into the kiss, parting your lips open to let his tongue in. The kiss was so heated, barely allowing you to gather your breath and making you feel lightheaded.

He pulled away and got a hold of your legs, parting them wider open. He let a thread of spit fall onto his cock, lubing himself up with spit and his precum. He pressed his tip into your cunt, pressing on it in and out, deliberately teasing you. “How bad do you need it?” He asked, a mischievous grin drawn on his face, taking pleasure in taunting you and hearing your little needy whines. “Don’t tease me like that,” you whined pleadingly.

“Say how bad you want my cock stuffing this pretty little pussy and I’ll stop,” he said, the pad of his thumb rubbing your swollen clit just to tease you more. “Please, I want it real bad. I need it,” you whimpered, your toes curling at the stimulation.

“Alright,” he chortled lightly, about to push the tip inside, but before he could keep further, you stopped him with your hand on his abdomen. "Please be gentle," you said, your eyes pleading mercy to him.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, seemingly offended by your words. "Of course, Imma be nice. What kind of monster do you think I am?" he said with a sneer. You held back your inner thoughts, not wanting to put him in a bad mood and laid back on the bed, biting your lower lip as he pushed inside you slowly. He halted midway, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. "Fuck, take deep breaths, angel. I can't keep moving if you're squeezing me so tightly," he grunted, the pad of his thumbs rubbing your inner thighs to soothe you.

You let out a pained moan and panted, trying to follow his words as you adjusted to his size. You reached out for his hand, locking your fingers with his as you got used to him inside you. Once he felt he could move a little more, he pushed deeper inside your virgin pussy, making you gasp at the fullness inside your heat. You winced at the hint of pain, "so big", you whimpered, a few tears brimming from your eyes. He chuckled and gave your hand a light squeeze. "I know baby, I know," he said with a hint of pride in his voice.

Once you thought you were ready, you nodded, giving the green light to start moving inside you. He rolled his hips against yours lazily, his hand leaving your hand to cup your tit and play with your nipple, pinching it and flicking the hardened peak. The pain was soon replaced by pleasure and breathy moans were coming out of you. Your skin felt hot and burned under the pad of his fingers, you were losing your composure as his cock kept massaging your walls.

"Shit, so tight. So tight and pure for me," he groaned, his pace getting quicker and deeper, the sound of his hefty balls striking your ass filling out the room. "You like that? You like being fucked by this dick?" He hissed into your ear, nipping on your earlobe as he pounded your cunt.

You dug your nails on his skin, gaining a grunt from him. He angled your hips to reach deeper into your tight pussy, his cockhead kissing your cervix and making your eyes roll to the back of your head. You nodded, tears brimming from your eyes as he fucked you dumb. "Say it, I want to hear you," he growled, his teeth marking your skin with bruises across your neck and collarbone. You whimpered, overwhelmed and overstimulated by his thumb that had resumed rubbing your abused clit, feeling your walls flutter and squeeze his girth tightly, announcing your release that threatened to snap at any moment.

"I- I like it!" You cried out, your guts tightening begging to cum. It took a few deep thrusts for you to scream out his name, gushing and soaking his happy trail with your translucent fluids.

He grunted, your pussy squeezed him so tight it made it difficult for him to move. He could've sworn he was on the edge of cumming as so as you did.

"Fuck I love this pussy," he moaned as he kept on pumping in and out of your cunt, his pace sloppy and desperate to fill you up with his cum. He lolled out his tongue, thrusting one last time deep into your wetness, spilling his thick load inside. He pulled out, his cum dripping out of you down to your ass as he did so. Your fucked out sight with his seed spilling out of you made his cock twitch, perhaps once you'd come down from your high he could stuff you again with his dick.

#KY000 ★ #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #jjk gojo #jjk fanfic #jjk sukuna #jjk choso #jjk naoya #gojo x you #sukuna x y/n #naoya x you #choso x reader #gojo x reader #sukuna x reader #choso x you #naoya zen'in x reader #gojo x y/n #sukuna x you #choso x y/n #naoya x reader #sukuna ryomen smut #gojo smut #choso smut #naoya smut

[fookingmuffins]

it's time to go

James potter x reader

Summary: Angst. You love James, but it's time to go.

Warning: cheating, screaming and James being a dick.

A/n: lmao I really ran after posting like 4 fics, but I'm doing a little better and even though I'm stressed with uni I've been dying to write something, so I hope y'all enjoy. (This actually took me so long to finish and i dont lobe the ending but i needs to move on, oops)

You sighed as you prepared to open the door to the house you shared with James. Once upon a time, you would've rushed in without a second thought. But lately the war had taken a toll on the two of you. Once happy moments were now filled with fear and dread, making you feel like you were drowning. And no matter how hard you tried to hold on to the love of your life, you could feel him shutting you out. James had always been an open book anyone who ever met him knew that, but lately he had built this wall meant to keep you away, only you. At first, you tried to understand and be patient considering everything you two were going through, but after countless fights of you begging for him to talk to you, you were tired. You squeezed your eyes shut once before pushing the door open and plastering a fake smile in your face, maybe today would be different.

"Jamie, I'm home, I brought your favorite from the bakery by my work!" you shouted into the house buy were greeted with only silence. After checking the house you realized you were alone which immediately sent you into a spiral of worry since James was supposed to be here an hour ago but deciding that maybe he had gotten caught up with something you tried to ignore your panic and start getting ready for your friend's Alice’s engagement party.

You heard the door open and close while you were finishing up with your hair, causing you to get up and genuinely smile when you saw James make his way to the bedroom that the two of you shared.

"I was wondering where you were, I got you some pastries they are in the counter." you tried, but he just gave you a tight-lipped smile with a wave before passing by you to your shared bedroom. You went after him and saw he was getting ready to jump in the shower. Figuring it was going to be another quiet afternoon, you sat at your vanity staring at yourself in the mirror holding back the tears threatening to spill and ruin your makeup and just prayed that at the wedding maybe you two could have fun like you used to. You didn't even realize how long you sat there until you heard James get out of the bathroom and start getting ready, and you decided to just get dressed too and sit by the window with a book while you waited for James to be ready.

"Are you okay?" You were broken out of your train of thought by James’s question.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be. " You answered, giving him a similar smile to the one he gave you when he arrived.

"I don't know, you just keep staring into space, and it's kinda creepy." he tried to joke, but what once would've made you smile and roll your eyes instead caused a knot to form at your throat again, and you felt tears prickling your eyes once again.

"Well what am I supposed to do is not like I can talk to you anymore James you always shut me out, and I don’t know what to do anymore to get you to bring down the walls that keep shutting me out! I don't even know what I did for you to shut me out!" You couldn't help but let out everything for the millionth time, hoping that maybe today would be the last time you two were having this conversation and that he would finally open up and let you two go back to normal.

However, you soon realized that it was only wishful thinking because James immediately lowered his head and mumbled "For fuck's sake y/n not this again"

"Yes, this again, James! Please talk to me! Stop shutting me out, please!" you were a sobbing mess by this point, begging him to let you in, not caring if you ruined your makeup.

But James just shook his head and walked out, "I'll wait for you in the car while you get cleaned up, we can't do this right now, or we’ll be late." just like that, he left you alone frozen with mascara running down your cheeks. You felt numb and just quickly tried to clean up but when you were done and staring at your reflection stare back at you with puffy red eyes you just felt pathetic.

On the way neither one of you talked James kept his eyes on the road while you looked out the window too lost in your thoughts to realize your usual music that would usually be playing while the two of you drove was not playing, James realized, and he felt like he was suffocating in the empty car ride.

The wedding was beautiful and despite your problems you couldn't help but imagine that one day it would maybe be you and James standing in an altar professing your love in front of all your friends and family. You turned to look at him as Alice and Ben were sharing their vows, only to catch him staring at Lily, and she was staring right back at him. You felt something break in you as confusion overtook you. Why is he looking at her?

Was she the reason that you were slowly getting kicked to the curb? Back in Hogwarts everyone knew that James was obsessed with Lily but when she finally gave him a chance things just didn't work out. Then you caught James's attention, and the rest is history.

You tried to focus on the happy couple in the altar as the ceremony came to an end, but you felt someone was stabbing you and twisting the knife.

By some miracle during the reception James asked you to dance which shocked you, but his eyes seemed so sincere and like they were almost begging that you couldn't help but to foolishly be filled with hope once again. As you took his hand, he genuinely smiled at you again the way he used to with that same boyish grin that made you fall for him 5 years ago.

The two of you danced in the center of the dance floor spinning and laughing around, you had not been this happy in so long. After a particularly long fit of giggles, James pulled you closer and looked into your eyes with a spark that the two of you hadn't shared in months. When you two were about to lock lips, someone cleared their throat besides you two and the two of you pulled slightly away.

"James could I have a word with you please?" Lily asked looking at James who immediately pulled away from you and went with her after telling you he'd be right back. Just like that you were brought back to reality the cloud 9 that you had been in for a little bit long gone, and again the sinking feeling invaded you, feeling like you were drowning. You needed a drink.

You went to the bar and after getting your drink you decided it wasn't enough, and you needed air. You walked out of the salon where everybody was and made your way to the garden, and that's when you heard it.

"James! You said you two were over, but it sure as hell doesn't look like it! I can't beli-"

"I know, I know, but I can explain Lily please! I-I-I came here with her because she was embarrassed to come alone, so I promised this would be our last outing together." You felt your heart stop, air getting caught in your throat.

"What? That doesn't-" Lily started as you felt the glass in your hands slip and shatter on the ground.

Both of them froze and looked at where you were standing, you could feel a knot forming in your throat but glared at the pair in front of you with tears forming in your eyes.

"Y/n I can explain!"

" I think both of us want an explanation, James, but she deserves it more. Y/n/n I'm so sorry I had no idea you two were still together." Lily went to walk away and James was about to chase after her when she heard you scoff and as you turned around.

"Say goodbye to Alice and Ben for me, would you? I have to go." you rushed out before basically sprinting to the nearest exit, hearing James chase after you, which wasn't hard considering he was taller than you and an athlete. He grabbed your arm when you two had made it to the parking lot and turned you around.

"So that's why I'm getting the cold shoulder." you blurted out before whatever he was able to utter whatever shit excuse he was going to tell you. You almost wanted to laugh, which made you feel like you were insane, but you thought about all the hours you had spent over the past couple of months looking in the mirror trying to see what was wrong with you, overanalyzing every tiny detail in your face. Laying in bed staring at the ceiling, replaying everything you had done that day that might have set James off.

"No no baby, I swear it's not what it looks like, Lily is just bitter we didn't work out, and she's trying to sabotage us! I've just been so stressed because of it, and I am so sorry I let it out on you."

"Bullshit James! You were literally just talking shit about me before i showed up and ruined your little act." You were seething by this point, and James flinched after your outburst. You had never been one to scream, and he knew that, but right now you honestly felt like nothing was the same and you weren't the same. "A-and you wanted to chase after her and you know what? maybe you should. Maybe you have a better shot at getting her back because we are over James Potter! I-I am so tired... I-" You were crying from all the different emotions you were feeling at that moment. Finally getting some enlightenment about why your relationship was dying gave you some relief of the crushing pain you were feeling being hunted by the "what if's" and "why's" you weren't the problem.

James tried to get close and wrap his arms around you. god he felt like an idiot for hurting you. He honestly doesn't know what he was thinking. He had hoped you never found out and had planned to break up with Lily soon enough, but he just needed to explore a little what it could've been like if he had stayed with her. Plus the thrill of it was something that James had loved for the time being, but he never wanted to hurt you. His heart broke at the sight of you, he couldn't imagine what you were feeling.

"Don't even think about it! Don't ever touch me again don't ever look at me, I hate you so much Potter, I don't want to know anything about you from this day on James! We now mean nothing to me, we are strangers!" You glared at him in a way he had never seen you look at anyone, and felt his heart drop.

He tried to protest, feeling the tears leave his own eyes at the idea of losing you completely forever. But you just turned around and walked away.

#james potter #james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter angst #james potter x reader angst

[yawntu]

Golden Hour

A/N: ngl i’ve been fiending to write more Tsu’tey but y’all can’t let me become a one trick pony fr. This one’s a little self indulgent my legs be kicking and shit. This isn’t proof read but will be eventually LMAO. I just wanted to get it out bc ppls were messaging me, I tried giving u actual plot this time. Sully reader, Neteyams twin &lt;333 why does tumblr always eat the end half of my posts what the FUCK

pairing(s): Ao’nung x (Sully)(f) Reader

word count: 10k

warnings: NSFW MDNI, weed oop, squirting, 2 little slaps but they’re not hard, consent king, mating, standing sex?, dacryphilla, semi public, a little bit of degrading / mean bits but not really, he just thinks you’re real pretty idk, size kink, brat taming if u squint readers got a bit of a catty attitude, you both have attitudes, idiots in love, PINING, idk i have a soft spot for idiots in love, Ao’nungs so in love with u, i’m about to start getting ppl to read these over and do the tags for me bc idk how to

na’vi glossary: skxawng: moron, Ole’eytkan: clan leader, kurkung: asshole, vrrtep’ite: demoness, Nga yawne lu oer: i love you, tanhì: star, kxener: I took park of the word that describes the act of smoking, idk I’m out here making up Na’vi slang.

Perhaps you were in such a delightful mood today because of the rich scented soaps and the pretty shimmer body oils that left your skin hydrated and vibrant after your bath, or perhaps it was the fact that Tsireya had just done your hair with little pearls and shells the night previous.

You’ve grown to love so many things that Awa'atlu offered you. You think, however, that your favorite thing was the sheer amount of turquoise geothermal warmed springs scattered around the bustling seaside village. You had often found yourself alone now that you had grown up, appreciating the peace that solitude brought you. Soaking in the warm watered spring of the mangrove beaches not terribly far from the village only added to said peace. Besides being a good place for one to watch the sun rise in the morning, it was also a good place to be left alone. As it wasn't an increasingly popular place to bathe it meant you got to spend your morning with pretty scented soaps, oils and creams while eating fruit and enjoying a kxener all in your preferred solitude. It wasn’t that you didn’t love spending time with friends and family- in all honesty a war torn childhood made you appreciate them and the peace you now lived in even more.

A fact you attempt to remind yourself off when an obnoxious smack of feet against the rocky grounds of the warm springs past the mangals pull you from your fruit eating haze. Your head snapped over to the sound, ready to scold someone for disrupting your tranquil morning- yet your eyes fall upon Aonung’s advancing form. You can’t help but allow a quick smile before your act begins. Your faux scowl at his towering approaching form.

“I literally just got in, what could you possibly want of me this early in the day?”

It’s a lie you tell as you lean back on the rocky wall of the spring, pointing two accusatory fingers towards him. You had been in long enough to quickly wash your hair and body. Even enough time to oil the ends of your hair, and though you were quick with it if he ended your bath here you’d at least have enjoyed your little acts of self care. No doubt you’d have to get dressed and follow him somewhere to help with something you’d much rather not be doing on your supposed free day. If the Eyktanay was saunting over to you, then no doubt your perfect morning would be a fleeting moment crushed to dust at your feet.

He gives you an look of dumbfounded distress, brow muscle jutting up into an arch while his lip curls up into a contemptuous grin,

“And to think I thought we were dear friends who enjoyed each other's company, vrrtep’ite,”

He is silly looking, as he squats at the edge of the spring, large imposing arms dangling between his legs, his tail curved towards you, eyes unnaturally trained at the horizon despite the fact he’s apparently cross with you. You can’t help but grin up at him, enjoying the quips and banter he often offered you; yet showed you enough respect as to not oogle at you.

Part of you was surprised to have him stumble upon you, as of late he is usually too busy to share a moment with him before the eclipse. He grabs the kxener next to your bowl of fruit, and the flintstones, barely looking at you. It’s endearing, how he holds the smoke between his full lips, his too big hands managed to spark rocks together to light it. For his towering frame, Aonung moves rather gracefully. His jaw is sharp as it clenches when the herbs spark at his face, eyes fluttering. You watch the muscles of his neck and shoulders flex when he puts the tool down and moves to hold the kxener with his left hand. He grabs a berry motioning towards you,

“What?”

His voice is haughty as he notices you staring. Even as he talks out of the corner of his mouth, lips holding the kxener smoke from fully creeping past his pointy white canine and incisor. The way his face contorts makes you giggle, resting your arm on the rock he was perched on,

“I don’t know. It’s silly seeing you act so civilized,” you say as you run one of your nails down his ankle to mess with him, “Decide you want to enjoy my brunch, huh? What, wrestling a tsurak too brutish today?”

He is instantly making a face, mimicking your voice in a faux girlish shrill as he finally grabbed hold of what he was smoking, seating himself fully, then plopping the fruit in his mouth giving you a displeased look.

It had been a long time since he was a truly troublesome, rough edged hooligan and though you would have still called him a hooligan to this day, Ao’nung was proud of how he had grown. Though he had his stubborn and even volatile moments he had won the close friendship of your twin brother, and even the younger siblings he once put in perilous danger. You had all long let that dead pa’li lie.

“You are the jungle savage,” he jokingly sneers, handing the kxener back down to you, then poking at your forehead for annunciation.

The mix of the thickly sweet and tangy fruit on top of the sour, peppery and earthy taste of the kxener is pleasant, but the fact that you can taste the balm that was on his lips is what makes your tail swish slowly in the water. 

“You’re mad your mother likes me better than you right now,”

You nod matter of factly to the freshly added tattoo creeping up his shoulder, an obsidian addition to his growing collection. Ronal was displeased with who had done it, not so much the design. Soon he'd be covered in them, rarely a part of his pretty face untouched by ink. Ronal knew this, yet it was in her nature to be argumentative. You didn’t stick around for the argument as by the time Ao’nung walked completely into their home, you and his sister had made a quick dash out as to not inherit the wrath of Ronal. The two had been bickering over everything since.

“Ha!” His laugh is boisterous and booming like the storms that would crack down over the ocean, “I am my mothers favorite! She’d drown you before-“

Drown was a funny idea. And now that he didn’t have your lit morning smoke in his hand, there was nothing defending him from your swift hand clutching the wrist closest to you, dragging him forward into the depth of the spring. It was a quick decision really, you had been a little shocked you did it considering if you didn’t pull him with such force he’d have surely hit the rock you were currently seated on- and this rather foolish quick decision meant that poor Ao’nung was as equally not prepared for the assault. The splash of his bulking body is huge, unceremonious and forces you to quickly turn half your body to avoid the brute of its wave.

The mischief is worth it as he rises from the water unharmed yet in disbelief. His sea-foam eyes wide open, curls sticking to his forehead as they fall from his silly little bun. Seeming to be dumbfounded that you dared to pull the practically aquatic man into such waters. As if he hadn’t stepped towards a rocky plateau as he stood up, and that the water barely reached his belly button.

“At least you did not drown-”

Perhaps if it wasn’t for the pesky second eyelid of the Metkayina then the water would have blinded him long enough for you to playfully escape from the splash he sent your way; far too powerful of a crime as the ends of your hair rewet and stick to your torso. It’s a foreign feeling as your hair had already begun to dry under the intense heat of the sun previously.

“You’re the worst out of the lot of you,” he interrupts himself with a sneeze from inhaling the water he wasn’t prepared to breath in, “i’m still clothed, skxawng,��

It makes you laugh, he seems genuinely annoyed but it still bemuses you. They were always wet and in and out of the water. How could it have possibly mattered to him, you were sure he’d have gone diving once he was content with ruining the peaceful start of your morning.

You knew him. You knew he came here to pick on you in his usual manner until something else caught his attention and he’d leave you alone and unfortunately missing him. So you’d enjoy your moment of terrorizing him back. You liked humbling him. Especially now that he’s growing closer and closer to being Ole’eytkan.

You obviously wouldn’t have ever grown to be as forward with your hazing had his sister not emboldened you; and though he stands ahead of you, almost posturing, you both knew there was an unspoken rule that Ao’nung lets you tease him. Though you danced across the exasperated too-far line, Ao’nung would take a great deal from you with a playful surrender. You huff the herb one more time before passing it to his dripping form, a peace treaty.

“You interrupted my bath, it is only fair,”

You’re far too occupied with how soft the almost too warm skin of his hand was when it was wet, and the tantalizing shivers it sends up your arm when your fingers make contact with him to notice that he sees you. Maybe he had inhaled too much water as you had caught him off guard, or maybe he had just inhaled smoke too deeply immediately after you had stolen the physical breath from the vacuum of his lungs, but Ao’nung is entirely too entranced with the moment that plays in front of him that it makes him dizzy.

The sun rising behind him was finally starting to lose its pinkish hues, casting warm golden rays onto your freshly washed glassy skin. The oils across your azure skin reflected the sparkly luminance that only the crushed up shells of Awa’atlu could provide. He can’t help but think the sun looks its best reflecting off the amber of your eyes. Though you are one of- if not the most beautiful girl- he had had the pleasure of knowing, the golden rays of the rising sun dancing across the apples of your supple cheek weren’t where his eyes have trailed to. In fact, your long hair moved slightly from where it had been covering your out of the water torso. Though you had never really worn much coverings, the fact that you were not only nude, but comfortable enough to be relaxed nude around him made his chest feel just as fuzzy as his head.

He’s glad you’re lost in thought so he can take a split second to stare at you breast without you noticing, despite the almost painful desire to stare at your gracile forest form he doesn’t want to be caught staring. He’s only been caught staring at you once- not by you of course. For someone so clever he was surprised you were so oblivious to the world around you sometimes. No- he had been caught staring by your twin brother who had rightfully punched him right in the back, making contact with a rather fresh, and rather painful tattoo. Though it turned into a light hearted, overly rowdy horseplay between friends, Ao’nung understood the undertone. If he touched you, Neteyam might just kill him.

“If you wanted me to take a bath with you, you could have just asked,”

Why in Eywas great paradise did he say that? He was just thinking about how your brother might knock his teeth out for the fact that he had been staring at your bare chest and he felt as though stupid mouth spoke on its own accord.

He was glad you turned so red at his words though- probably out of anger at the implication. It overshadowed how he had embarrassed himself- drew your attention away from the embarrassing mauve heat creeping up his own neck. He hated how visible the contrast of flushed skin was compared to yours. The splash of the water you sent towards him forces him to hold the half done kxener far above his own head.

“I’m surprised you even know how to bathe, kurkung,”

He thinks it’s cute how quickly one arm covers your chest as you go to sit up slightly- suddenly very aware that you’re more exposed then usual, despite the fact you didn’t seem to care before- reaching to grab at his arm and try and snatch the kxener from his hand. It’s his turn to laugh at you know, and plop himself down on the water smoothed stone you had lounged on.

“I’m very clean actually. It’s hard to have such magnificent hair,” He hands you the kxener and with his other hand motions to his bun.

You snort, rolling your eyes and taking the herb you had both been using as a peace treaty from him. Your body turns towards him, head propped up on one of your pretty delicate hands, and the other holding the kxener to your pretty plump lips. Had he not embarrassed himself once already he’d have just sat here and blatantly watched you smoke in the morning light.

“It is going to grow thin if you keep it up all the time,” You motion to him.

Though you knew it was probably a pile of talioang dung, and that his hair would be fine despite the past five years of his well known bun- you couldn’t help but love when his long curly terraces fell down the expanse of his prodigious back. You wouldn’t waste an opportunity to convince him to keep it down.

“I’ll tattoo my bald head,” he’s grinning when he tells you, mimicking the way you had propped your head up on your hand, and reaches to swirl one of your own wavy strands around his finger, “Probably shave yours in your sleep to get back at you for jinxing me,”

“Your mother would scalp you if you did such a cruel thing, very unbecoming of the Eyktanay,”

You mock his status over you. He supposed that was fitting for you. The eldest daughter of the Toruk Makto was sure to have an issue with authority, 

“Well this is rather unbecoming of me. I could be doing countless other things but sitting in a spring with you smoking a kxener and watching the world go by,”

His argument is valid. Though you know he’s joking there is a twinge in your stomach. An argumentative spark that tells you he isn’t joking- that he did not prioritize you the way you had grown to prioritize him. 

The snippy comment rolling off your tongue dies as Ao’nung’s shoulders hunch slightly, leaning his head further down into your space. At this point you were close enough that he could hit the rolled smoke from your own hand.

It was ridiculous. Evil even. How Eywa dangled what you wanted so cruelly in front of your face. The cruel waltz of tension that has suffocated the friendship as you aged. The fact that you can feel your stomach drop at the feeling of his lips so close to your fingers, could taste the shared air between the two of you. Here you sat almost stunned in the shadow of his form.

The Metekyana were large- huge even. An’oung was large amongst them. Well into ten feet you’d assume considering he was ever so taller then his father when he stood straight up. In comparison to his big, stubborn bull-head, your sylphlike hands holding the mostly finished intoxicant to his tantalizing lips looked delicate and small. He could break you. He could toss you around like a rag doll and you’d even thank him after.

You feel bad for the addled look on your face, it’s just been increasingly vexing growing into adulthood due to this bastard. You know you really want to be grinning at his close proximity and the fact that he trusts you so close to his face with something burning. You should be cooing over the fact that he flutters his pretty eyes closed and admires his long eyelashes. Yet you couldn’t stop the bubbling of an attitude under your skin. You knew you were attracted to him, most people had known you had fancied him. Especially when he had grown comfortable enough around you to privy you to the earnest, callowly charming and flustered side of him- but there was something about the way life turned out that kept you both in this tense ‘we aren’t together’, but we are very obviously much more than friends.

You were an older sister at your core. Bossy and with a desire to be the center of attention; Ao’nung thought it was a game to play, and would never fall at your feet the way you charmed others into. At least he’d put up a fight in the pathetically self imposed game you had both committed to.

“Others would gladly take your place, leave then, find somewhere else to be,” you find your resolve finally, after your embarrassing pause. 

With a roll of your eyes, you snatch your hand from his lips. In annunciation of your irritation you had stood up slightly, careful to not remove your body from the turquoise waters of the mangrove spring as you began to move towards the end furthest from him.

He doesn’t really like the years-long game you’ve been playing at this moment, and he really doesn’t like that you have moved away from him. He’s tired of competing in this ridiculous long winded courting ritual with you. He’s been at it since he had made you sob when he left Lo’ak outside of the reef all those years ago. It was the first time Ao’nung had been embarrassed by his own actions. He had been spoiled his whole life, taking whatever he could want- and for the first time he realized he had taken something from someone else. He had taken happiness from someone. He thanked Eywa for letting Lo’ak return relatively unharmed, and swore the wretched sobs that had fallen from your lips never again even ticked the back of your throat.

Year's. Years he has gone out of his way to emulate the humility you so easily radiate. You had forced him to grow; for year's he's learned how to be a man who deserved you. He wasn't a perfect man, in his eyes still not very deserving of you; he was still loud, impulsive and painfully cocky. It’s probably what had pushed him to wrap a large hand around your delicate wrist, unceremoniously pulling you back until the back of your thighs touched him, tail squishing between you and the muscle of his thigh.

Though Ao’nung would pride himself in the fact that you haven't sobed once or even cried often in years, he can't say you didn't hiss. As you are right now, a soprano squeal of a hiss right in his face. Now that the kxener was finishing you were pleasantly buzzing; and the quick drawback of your body had made you dizzy. It’s not his actions that have you embarrassed; you're embarrassed your stomach is fluttering at the feeling of coming into contact with his legs and torso, comfortably aware of the heat he added to the warmth of the water. You try to hide the embarrassment of being close to him like this with only half-real annoyance. Had you not been so civilized Ao’nung was sure you would snap that pretty little jaw at him bite a chunk out of his face,

“I am naked!” Your voice cracks as you yelp, hand landing on his thigh, using the waters aid to help elevate yourself off of his lap, mortified as you were far too close to the water's surface to enjoy the privacy the turquoise water had provided you with yet the idea of your bare skin on his was somehow scarier.

“I am not,” he remarks, taking the kxener from you, moving the hand that had grabbed you to land on your thigh.

You freeze in his lap. Now that the sun's completely up there's nothing to hide you. No beautiful colors to bounce off of your face that you can pass off the blushes accreditation.

“Sit and finish it, you wanted to enjoy a relaxing morning- you do not seem so relaxed,”

You blame the softly buzzing high for the softness you feel for him at this moment. Assuring yourself that his stupid oval head wasn’t terribly handsome and that his warm blue eyes didn’t make your chest tighten. You wouldn’t admit to any of the stupid love sick thoughts that have plagued your mind the entire time he’s been here with you.

More so, you certainly wouldn’t admit that despite his usually rowdy behavior and need to bicker with you, sitting against his imposing form made you feel safer than ever before. It was the work of a herbal paranoid if he dared poked fun at you for how it did not take much convincing for you to sit yourself down on his lap. Flinching at the feeling of the fiber of his tweng against the nude back of your thigh and glutes. You hope he doesn’t notice, even going as far as to lay your head on his chest before doing as he told you and lifting the dwindling end to your lips,

“Don’t you want to finish it?” you ask him, refusing to look up at him. Instead you stared intently at the sun over the sea. He runs his fingers across the expanse of your shoulder.

“It’s yours, I want you to enjoy your morning. Besides, unlike you I have real things to do this afternoon,”

You huff at his jab, knowing he respected the work you did around the village and the aid you offered his mother. A small part of you aches over the lingering idea that he didn't think you enjoyed the time spent with him.

“I've already enjoyed my morning. It’s not often the future Ole’eytkan spares time for me and graces me with his presence,”

You know he's busy, you'd never actually hold that over his head. And when you feel him move your hair off of your shoulder and lay his head on top of your own you almost feel bad for reminding him he’s so busy. Especially when he so sweetly caresses your decolletage as well. You didn’t understand how you always danced this edge with Ao’nung. Years of this pining and yet you’d both always end up here. Stuck in a strangely intimate moment that neither of you would dare go past. You are glad to finish though, finally tossing the item that had kept you both in this painfully frustrating stalemate, maybe you’d go sulk the rest of the day as he was busy doing Eywa knows what.

It’s your ego really, that makes you want to end the morning. Or embarrassment. How could you be sitting naked on top of him; how could you have let this go on all morning. Not just this morning actually, how could you have played this game so long with him when you were so unsure of his own feelings.

“I’m going to prune though so we should get out,”

Your voice is snippy when you speak to him. Hurt evident in your voice as you look up, and finally notice that he’s staring intently down at you. Committing the sight of your nude lissome Omatakyan form perched on his lap to memory. His wagging tail rippling the water and allowing him to watch the waters reflection dance across the bare sapphire of your skin. You were often close to Ao’nung. He didn’t make you uncomfortable in the slightest. You had sat in similar positions, been casually intimate- hell when you were younger the whole group of you would sleep in piles. Being pressed against him wasn’t new to you, yet this is very different. He had made the situation you were in very different in the span of minutes.

“Ao’ i’m serious-“ your voice cracks, “We’ve been here far too long, i’m sure someone will come looking for you-”

“Only me, you and Eywa here,”

It’s said with such a coy yearning you can’t help but flush purple. It wasn’t often that he had ever caught you off guard- at least not to this extent. Despite his usual impulsive nature he was usually relatively predictable when it came to you,

“Y-you’re never serious,” your ears flatten, when you try to turn your head, however his hand is quick to catch your cheek, and he uses his thumb to smush both together. 

It’s not as easy for your tail to wag submerged in the water, not as easy as his does. You’re fighting against the water but you can’t help the flick of your tail- there was too much going on. You felt too much. You’re not really sure why you keep up the charade. He knew you had a great deal of admiration for him surely he wouldn’t have drawn this out had he not been interested in you?

“How could I not be serious when the most enchanting woman in all of Pandora is looking up at me like that?” and his big hand is dwarfing your cheeks and you can swear that you’d choke if you spoke, “Huh? All shy now are you?”

You weren’t shy. How could he call you shy? Shy was hiding away from him or avoiding conversation. He couldn’t call you shy if he did things to embarrass you into dumbfounded silence.

“You drive me ins-”

Your scold dies at the feeling of his kiss on your lips. It’s soft and his breathing against your face makes you smile. It's embarrassing how instant the grin is. How can you be mad when he’s kissing you finally. Perhaps you’d just say you were throwing a nantang a bone when your greedy berry stained tongue eagerly glided across his lip, or when your hips dug down into his lap, curling your tail around his thigh. Ao’nung could justify that his hands gripping and groping frantically as your sun warmed torso pulling you back into him was him doing the same.

And when one of your hands falls to caress your nails against the skin of his lower abs he can’t stop his hips from jerking and thrusting upwards into you, sending your body jostling up. Prematurely ending the oral exploration of both of your tongues.

There’s a string of his saliva connecting you together and his hands brace your jolted form. He means to ask you if you’re alright much quicker then he does. He can’t help but get distracted by your pretty flushed cheeks and with your wide amorous amber eyes. It set him a thrill with a sense of his own stomach warming bliss. He can’t shake his worry though. Worried he had pushed too far too suddenly.

“C’mon, you’re not ready for all this yet,” he rubs his nose against yours, and lets you kiss him softly again. 

        He paws at your hip, and then motions back towards the village with his head breaking your lips apart. How could you have possibly wanted to go back to the village now? You give him a queried look at his cocky barb,

“Perhaps you’re the one not ready for me,”

The raillery in your voice is a comfort that would have made his knees buckle had he not been seated. He smiles, because he knows you’re both right; and his cheeks hurt from the grin as he watches your eyes flutter close as your noses touch once more. A magnetic force that kept bringing your faces close to one another. You couldn’t see him now that your eyes were closed and you were enjoying the comfort of being close to him. It made him shift in his seat. You couldn’t see him. Not now. Not when he wanted you to see him so terribly. See how hard he had worked for you- see how badly he wanted you to just tell him you wanted him so he could move past this terrible feeling of insecurity he had over you. Then again perhaps, he thought it meant more in this moment that you knew him. Knew him so well that you could see past his coyness. As if to coax him further you bite down gently at his lip.

How could he leave you wanton like this? He relishes in the the sweet wiggle of your body at the gentle press of the pads of his calloused fingers roaming the length of your spine and dancing across the valley of your breasts. Soft and slow—just for the sake of caressing you. He has wanted to touch you like this for as long as he could remember. None of his lingering touches or platonic embraces could pale to the invigorating pulse your skin against his gave him. And he’s barely touching you- ghosting over your pretty sapphire skin and you’re trembling. Trying to squirm away from his lithe hands as to prevent his gliding fingers in their  pursuit towards your peaked nipples. He’s sure the drag of his fingers as he groped at you was probably more tortuous than any direct overstimulation he could cause you but he wouldn’t grant you that clemency. Not until he feels satisfied that you’ve been disproven. That he was more than capable of taking care of you, more than ready to.

Ao’nung is competitive, and you know this. He knows you know this. How often have you both gotten into trouble over silly competition? He can’t help but huff at the thought that you knew how to press his buttons and roll his hips up once more. The sound of water squishing between where you meet makes your ears fall flat against your head and your nails dig into the soft skin below his abs.

“Ya, yer gonna see,” He moves with you easily, sliding from under you and propping your knees up on the smooth stone you had both sat on previously, standing behind you. 

Ao’nung casts an imposing shadow over yourself and the ground around you. The water only offers to cover you to the top of your thigh, rendering you the most exposed you’ve ever been for him. You can’t help but shift your weight and squirm at the feeling of Ao’nung wrapping his hands around the freshly cleaned halo of curls that were your last sense of modesty. Now that he’s pushed your hair over your shoulder there’s nothing stopping him from seeing all of you. You attempt to focus on how the ends of your hair dip into the water, or how tan your freckling hands and arm appear next to the light lime wash of the smooth stony structures of the springs.

You feel strange, knees on the smooth stone you had originally sat on, palms bracing yourself on the stoney ledge as his prodigious hands dance up and down the shape of your curves while he causes in the water to plop rhythmic against your skin as he gives into his desire to rut against your form quickly. He is even quicker to catch himself and return his focus to you. You should feel much more vulnerable than you do at this moment- quite literally stuck between a rock and a hard place. Yet the cooling overcast of his form protecting you from the sweltering rays of light made you feel far more secure then you had previously thought. 

It’s tantalizing- dizzying even when you feel his fingers run down the expanse of your back. It was easy for him to become distracted with the enchanting visage of your form arched prettily in front of him.

He knows you were right. He was nervous. For more reasons than one. Firstly the longer the sun made its ascension into the sky the more likely anyone could have the misfortune of stumbling upon you. More importantly he knows he should not mate with you right here. That you deserve much better than this. He aches knowing this is the closest he has ever gotten to it despite years of literally grasping at sand for the chance to be mounted over you like he was now.

Ao’nung did not have the resolve of a man you deserved though. He couldn’t swallow the anxiety he felt over the fact that perhaps if he didn’t come across you today someone else would have. And you would have been bent over for them. He wanted to do this much better for you- as cliche as it sounded. Yet, when he watched his hand dwarf the intricate and soft dips of the dimples that framed the sides of your softly twitching tail, his resolve snapped.

“Yer’ gonna be my Tsahìk?”

He watches you jolt under his sudden slurred words, the added stimulation of his left palm gripping the pliable sphere of meat that was only centimeters from his own longing groin adding to your need. Gripping just a bit too roughly. He didn’t mean to handle you so impolitely, he could not bring himself to have any resolve as his fingers curl against your skin to pull you apart for him. He’s embarrassed at how excited he is to receive the reward of your pretty moan at his chilling intrusion. He had been blessed with hearing your whiney groans and faux whimpery cries many times before, but he had never been privy to such an entrancing sound as your desperate moan.

He can’t stop his upper body from clambering down, hands quickly bracing his imposing form down on the same rock that held you up. His face instantly in the visible crook of your neck. All you can do is turn and gaze dumbfounded at his hand that twitches almost too closely to your own while you listen to him practically pant in your alert ear. His panting breath cracks in your ear when you raise your hips slightly, the feeling of the ridge of your tail, and curve of your ass against his ever throbbing manhood results in his own guttural moan followed by a sloppy open mouth kiss under your ear.

“Ao’nung, please,”

You don’t know what you’re pleading for him to do and he can’t believe you could be the one pleading right now considering how tightly you had wound him up already. He can’t bring himself to understand the complexities of your own emotions when he can now fully feel his body on top of yours.

“Please what, huh? Want me to mate you? G’onna be mine?” He enunciated his words with uncharacteristically gentle kisses to your neck. 

You hear the wet plap of him forcing the fabric of his tweng down enough for you to feel the weight of him on your back. You’re unsure if the tender caress from your sensitive belly up to the valley of your breast from his free hand is what makes you shiver, or the feeling of the heavy tip of his cock that still manages to hang down onto your body despite Ao'nungs desperate grip at his own base.

Instantly one of your hands reaches to clasp around his wrist that has moved electrifyingly close to your breast, dinging your nails into him ever so slightly, causing him to jerk slightly. You huff at the feeling of his tip smearing precum across the small of your back.

“I thought you wanted me to enjoy my morning- why must you torture me instead,”

There was that pretty desperate whine. That inexorable and perpetual babble that you put on to get the things you wanted from those around you. He wanted to say he had better resolve then them, but the sound of your frustration laced whine has the weight of his cock twitching against the pudge of your ass. The wrist you had grabbed onto continued its ascension up your body, fingers dancing up your neck until he could hold your mandible.

It’s endearing really, the view he’s greeted with. With the easy squish of the cute chub of your cheeks together between his big hand, he’s effortlessly forcing you to look up at him. The Metkayina were expressive, maybe because they signed to each other a great deal- you wouldn’t know. But you’d still thank Eywa for it, as you can’t deny the aura of pure desire that radiates off of his face like the heatwaves the morning sun had begun to cast across the horizon. Eyes blown out wide, and the ends of his kiss swollen lips curled into a soft smile.

A soft smile that doesn't match the feeling in your stomach when his big hand leaves your ass and wraps around the base of your kuru. You swear you see Eywa in his eyes, and he swears he hears her in your gasp. He’s quick to push his lips back onto yours despite the unnatural position. And though your spine and neck ache from the arch he has pulled you back into you can’t help but clank your teeth together as you kiss again. You’re not sure who’s spit is all over you both; all you know is the sloshing sound of your mouths and the embarrassing sound of water sloshing at the disturbance of his rocking hips that ground his twitching cock against your ass. He wanted to reach down and force your tail out of the way so he could relish in the feeling of you hammocking his throbbing cock- but he had something far more important to deal with.

The most beautiful girl in all of Pandora was sparkling in the sun below him, and you wanted him as terribly as he wanted you. He really did want you to enjoy your morning and promised himself you’d enjoy every morning after this one too.

“I need you,” You’re whining into his mouth.

The very woman he has painfully longed after- the love of his life- was moaning into his mouth as he kissed them. The huffy and croaked out, “Need all of you,” should have been all he needed to hear from you. All he had ever wanted to hear from you. Nonetheless, Ao’nungs egotistical charm was a facade. In actuality he was terribly insecure. In fact he couldn’t truly wrap his head around how he had even gotten this far with you. He grounds himself in the feeling of your heavy breaths against his lips before he speaks,

“Tell me how bad you want tsaheylu. Tell me how bad you want me to be your mate,”

He doesn’t mean the growling undertone of his voice, or the side to side grind of his hips against your ass, but he loves the feeling of your cute little tail rolling over his cock at the motion and he can’t control how good he feels. Your wide eyes would be enough consent, the adoration in your topaz iris unmistakable.

“Nga yawne lu oer,”

One of your hands reaches up to hook around his neck, letting your delicate hand wrap around the base of his own kuru. And in the same breath you just loved him in, you assure him-

“I see you, Ao’nung. I see the real you. I want you so bad,”

He would normally laugh at the weakened tug at his kuru, but all you want is for him to kiss you again. How could he laugh when his pretty girl is begging him so nicely? How can he not kiss you once more and run his big hand down your delicate kuru. Dance his fingers across the pretty, intricate and adorned goddess loc protecting it. Had he felt a bit meaner he would have twisted the little curls that escaped it’s end just to hear you squeal and whine.

He had more pressing matters. Something far more interesting for him to focus on. You had a bundle of nerves practically dying to be connected to him, flailing tendrils kissing the bottom of his abs. Desperately swiping across the water slicked skin of his stomach looking for his own nerves to curl and wrap into. You wanted to feel him. All of him and it drove him wild. By the time his fingers trail the nerves of your tswin you’re crying. Actual tears that clump your pretty long lashes together and redden the tip of your cute crinkled nose.

His throat hurts. Choking on his breath at your sparkling tears. He can’t help but use one strong arm to cradle you into his body, pulling your torso taught against his own and relishing in the feeling of your boobs squishing against his arm. He tries to sooth you, hushing you with a voice uncharacteristically gentle for the man you had spent the end of your childhood roughhousing and bantering with. 

“Shhh, tanhì,” his head is besides yours again, and you welcome the feeling of your cheeks rubbing together, and the gentle nuzzling of his face into the crook of your neck, “Nga yawne lu oer, why do you cry pretty baby?”

He feels you clench below your tail when he asks, and he feels bad for the bead of precum that squeezes on the dip of your spine again. Your soft quivering,

“‘s too much,” as you shake your head a bit, “feel’s too much,” your rounded red eyes peer up at him again. You’re blushing now, purple and pretty for him.

“Let me feel it with you then, ya?” Your noses are slotted against each other when he moves to speak against the crown of your head, ending his question with a kiss to your slightly furrowed forehead. He lets the arm bracing you against him slowly begin to tweak your ridged nipple between his fingers. Letting himself enjoy the feeling of it hardening between his thumb and pointer finger, “Please, Ao’- wanna feel you,”

There’s a chuckling undertone in his huff as you drop forward on your arms again, bracing your palms onto the watery ledge. Though he had wanted to pull you back up, the sight of you arching your back and grinding yourself back into him grants you reprieve from having to hold yourself up.

It was almost difficulty, shaking your hips against him as well as you could from your knelt position, yet the stones assault on your knees was barely an afterthought as you had finally arched yourself in such a way that Ao’nung’s balls had finally began to drag blissfully across your swollen clit.

He doesn’t think you’ve ever sounded so pretty. Practically purring under him and gasping as you grind yourself against him and he paws at your breast. He’s proven wrong when he watches you jolt at the feeling of the hair at the end of his kuru raise towards where he dropped yours against your back. You feel the teasing kisses of his own tendrils on the skin just before where your own danced wildly waiting for him, “One more time baby, tell me you want me. I need you t’be sure,”

Had you not been driven mad by the slow pace he had subjected you to you’d have felt bad for the obvious crack in his voice. You hated that he thought you didn’t love him, it’s what drove you to reach up and grab for the base of his own braid,

“Ao’nung if you don’t i’m going to lose my-“

You don’t finish your reprimand. You can’t. Not when you feel his tswin latch onto yours, pulling you tightly into him. Tsaheylu. You had ridden ikrans and ilus of course- but this was different. Like a rush below your skin that left you panting in his arms. You had never felt like this before. Never throbbed like this before. All you could do was squeal as a relentless wave of wetness practically leaked from your twitching cunt. In a desperate attempt to ground yourself from the sudden rush of fire across your body you raise you hand from the base of his own kuru to the mass of curls held up in a bun.

You didn’t mean to yank at the tie that kept them out of the way. In fact, you were shocked when his inky tresses fell forward, covering you in a curled veil of obsidian and forcing you to drown in the smell of salted ambergris of the sea and smoke that was permanently locked in the ringlets of Ao’nungs mane. It blocked you from perceiving anything that wasn’t him, not only could you feel him, you couldn’t see anything besides him. He had engulfed your senses the same way he had engulfed your mind.

“Oh f-uck,” Eywa save you, his throaty whine makes you drop your body weight against the arm that had originally only been ghosting across your breasts, rendering you into a blubbering pile of putty forced to listen to him practically moan into your ear that, “I had no idea you were feeling so good baby,”

You can hear the swish of his paddled tail as it escapes the confines of the spring that you’d blame the sweat accumulating on your body to. You can feel how absolutely delighted he was. Though you couldn’t physically see where your nerves became his you couldn’t shake the picture between your eyes. As though the pretty loop of your braids had been branded behind the eyelid of your third eye by your mate.

“Ma’ pretty mate wants me so badly,” his opposite hand meanly grips at the fat of your hip, pulling you up to him.

You felt like a rag doll, pulled up against him just so he could grind you up and down against his length. He can understand why you were crying now. You felt a lot of emotions for having such a small form, it’s probably why you had the attitude problems you did. The mixture of panic and uncontrolled longing that tickled the pit of your stomach was an addicting feeling to him however. He makes a cruel grab at the base of your tail caressing his thumb on the smooth, sensitive skin under your tail.

“You’re either gonna move your tail out of my way or I'm going to move it for you,”

He’s straightening his back a bit as he speaks, arm sliding to let you go slightly, though his grip on your tit stays firm. Almost too quickly your tail curls up to give him a view he’s been dying for since he’s stumbled upon you this morning.

You’re swollen and flushed and so wet. He wonders how long you’ve been this sticky. And you don’t even care that he’s practically drooling over the sight of your pretty tail curled up because that pretty useless head of yours is too busy swirling with silly little thoughts about how much you loved him. He was sure it was some evolutionary effect to get people to keep having kids to keep their species alive, but to Ao’nung nothing has ever felt real to him. Maybe love was a scam for everyone else, but for him? Eywa herself couldn’t offer him more than the moment in front of him.

“Prettiest thing I ever fucking seen,” His hand had to leave your azure tail to palm at himself. He had only just began to realize how badly he was throbbing for you, “Need you so bad too,”

You rub yourself against him, pushing one of your hands down on the rock to offer more pressure

“Ao’nung please, i’ll be okay you can-“

You’re cut off with your own shaken breath when you feel him rub the blunt end of himself against your sticky slit. 

“Nu-uh,” he’s hunched forward over you again, rubbing the head of his cock against your slit, “you can’t take it like this,”

It’s your turn to feel shared panic. Not that you focus on it, choosing to clutch to his arms as the speed of his steadily rubbing intrusions picks up. It feels good. Too good on your still stoned, too stimulated body. Too good considering you can feel how good he feels. Every time the tip of his cock slides over your swollen clit and catches another glob of slick that only makes it easier to speed his assault up you moan.

Your thighs clench against him, but it does little to deter him. Not at his size. Not when he’s obsessed with the fact that he’s so much bigger than you. There wasn’t a thing you could do to keep him from making you cum. It really was foolish for you to clench your thighs. It only served to create a new angle for him to rub against. The smile you can hear in his moans is almost as embarrassing as the sloshing sound of your cunt at the enjoyable pace he had set.

He really did want to finger you, he wanted to feel your pretty cunt clench down around his pointer and middle finger too terribly but he can’t avoid the painful throb of his cock any longer. He’d been ignoring the pulse of his lower stomach since he had first seen the heavenly image of you sitting nude in the water watching the pink and lilac sky kiss stars goodbye. He was glad you seemed to like the intrusion of him practically jerking himself into you. Coating his cock in the enticingly scented albumen of your slick. He could cum probably, if he wasn’t already buzzing with overstimulation.

The naive part of him is confused when he watches your hips roll away from him, thighs clenching. Maybe it means you want him away from you, but all he can feel is the part of you screaming in his brain to keep going. So his hips follow yours so he can continue the sloppy drag of his cock-head though your folds. He’s starstruck when he catches on your clit rather roughly and is gifted with the sight of your spazzaming leaking cunt.

He’s so occupied with the liquid leaving you’re pretty swollen hole that the hand holding your chest up drops down to your tail again, yanking your hips up. He drops his cock from his hands to continue his assault on you with his fingers to rub faster then he previously was. You scream and he’s never been happier. The sight of him holding you up by your tail (that now wraps up around his forearm) while you brace yourself up by your hands as he rubs an orgasm from you, extending it as far as he could.

He knows he made you feel good and it only adds to how good he feels. If he was a bit more shameless he’d have probably busted the second you started leaking onto his swollen tip. His patience was almost in vain as he watched you lay your head on your arms, sitting up on your knees more to arch your back for him.

“Ao’ wan’ you to feel good too,”

So considerate of him always. He can feel the throb of your pretty pussy from where he still holds your tail. He laughs a little, he can’t help it. It’s a little mean when he sends a softish spank to where your ass meets your thigh. It’s mostly just to see your pretty body jolt under him, and to hear your pretty whine but it’s also to give him a second to compose himself. He’s not trying to claim your pretty azure skin with his cum yet.

And you look at him with those pretty slitted eyes, plump lips curled into the softest snarl he’s ever seen on your bratty little face. He doesn’t mean to so unceremoniously hunch down to catch your face in his palm and kiss you. He’s just so excited that he finally has what he wants.

“I can put it in ya?” He mumbles against your lips, 

“Gonna let me make you feel good?” He questions again, and it’s his turn for a twitch to shoot up his cock to the soft patch of fat below his abs at your pretty moan.

“Ao’ you can! You y-you don’t have to ask,”

He ignores the amusement over how snappy your sentence started, yet ended in hiccupy adoration filled stumbles. Once again he’s lining himself up against your slit, and with the added force you can finally feel the girth of him. You’re thankful he hasn’t let you see him fully yet, worried the sight might have unsettled you more than the feeling.

He has to refrain himself from shooting forward, shoving you full in one snap of his hips. Has to stand up and slide his weighty dick between your cheeks to lay it on your back just to remind himself how deep he’d be in you. Sliding against you for a few lazy thrusts just to admire the view. He's dumbfounded at how intrusive his cock would be in comparison to whatever Omatikaya loser Eywa had intended for you to be mated with before he had set his eyes on you. One hand moves to spread your cheek one more time, the other returning to its place on his cock to help guide him between your folds. He starts groaning as he pushes the tip in.

Warm. Fuck you’re warmer then the suns rays on his back. Warmer than the heat his downed hair traps around him. And you match his moan. A hypnotizing harmonization that’s only paused when he feels a foreign stinging. A warm burn where he had never felt pain before, and though it was nothing more than an inconvenience he couldn’t stand the idea of his girl in any pain. You didn’t even get a chance to whine at the stretch before two if his large fingers are clamoring over your bud, trying his best to roll tight figure eights to lessen the sting for you.

Ao’nung can’t help but be confused. He can feel you slicking up his cock as he pushes in, the sheer wetness welcoming him in with almost ease. The only resistance the clenching muscle could offer against his intrusion was the sheer tightness of it.

Why is one hand reaching up to dig your pretty nails into his thigh, to scratch and push at him even though you’re feeling so good? Do you forget he can feel you? Can he blame it on you feeling too good? He’s not even half way into you and yet your hips keep stuttering away from him. He’s even paused his movement to appreciate your little huffs over being split open on him,

“You are alright,” you feel one his hands wrap around your waist, guiding you to sit up on your knees all the way out of the water, forcing his cock to slide out slightly. He makes sure to guide your face up towards you, forcing your eyes to lock on his. 

His big hand then sides under your thigh and pulls your one leg up. It’s an embarrassing display, Ao’nung holding one of your legs up against your chest so he could force the remnants of his aching cock into your hole.

“Ya yer pussy knows it’s mine. Good girl sucking me right in,”

Both of your round exultant eyes are locked onto each other as he bottoms out, his words making you clench down. You marvel at the flush of his face and the hiss that falls past his teeth after the wet plap of his balls hit your ass. You swear you can feel him against your fruit filled stomach. As though he had truly impaled you on something. There was no way he could have prepared you for such a stretch. It was nothing like any of the self imposed violations against your cunt by your own fingers- what Ao’nung was doing to you was entirely different. This was beyond any girlish fantasy that had ever crossed your mind about the man.

"I need a second please-wait,” you sound so desperate for someone who knows that he’d never think of pushing you past your limit- not this time, not like this. Not when you’ve been so kind as to let him mate with you. He doesn’t answer you, kissing up and down your neck and shoulders. Allowing himself to bite and suck as he rolls your clit between his fingers,

“Deep breath baby, I already taught you how to breathe. Don’t make me do it again,”

There’s a smile against your throat as you feel him suck particularly hard, it makes you smile too. You don’t know why you listen to him, taking in a deep breath and craning your neck to lay against his chest.

His ego has skyrocketed. Feeling how much you liked being crammed down on his dick while he played with your pretty clit, legs spread wide for him. He hasn't even really gotten started and you feel twitchy like before you came. He can admit you’re clouding his brain quicker then he intended. He hadn’t felt so brain dead since his very first rut (which he had spent the entirety of silently fixated on you). He doesn’t really mean to shift his hips, doesn’t mean to push his fat cock deeper into your sweet little hole-

"Ah fuck, too big- it's too big!"

The sight of your furrowed eyes looking up at him makes his chest tighten and his dick a little harder. You didn’t mean it- even if he could feel the aftershock of the burn that dances across your nervous system into his. He knows you don’t mean it cause you’re grinding your pretty cunt against him. Chasing the high his fingers against your clit are providing. 

“Stop ya whining,” he knows he’s been nice enough to you. Which is why he pinches down on your swollen clit ever so gently, twisting softly between the pads of his fingers ruining how close to a second release you were. It feels good when it makes you jump and impale yourself deeper against his cock, "Maybe you're just really fucking tiny,"

And with his words he begins the slow roll of his hips forward. After the few experimental rolls of his hips in conjunction with his comforting mumbles that you would be fine, Ao’nung feels that he can finally pull almost all the way out of you. You hate the feeling of being empty so suddenly, and are almost too loud when he begins to deliver shallow thrust into you. The water of the spring is splashing below you, and the sound of the spring mixed with the violent wet slapping of your skin together would alert anyone who got too close to the springs as to the torture Ao’nung was putting you though.

As if he is reading your mind (he probably is in one way or another) his mean hand grips the fat of your thigh tighter, and forces the leg higher in effort to open you more- so far even that you feel your lips part completely- as he uses the fat of your thigh as reigns to deliver deeper thrust.

“Ya yer right, anyone could walk out here with your legs wide fuckin open for me, huh?” he starts, and you wrap your tail around his torso to keep yourself stabilized against his thrusts into you, “Toruk Maktos daughter getting fucked stupid in public,”

He’s biting you again, just to hear that pretty little squeal and feel your pussy clamp down on him. He knows he should wait just a little longer before revving up the brutality of his pace- but the sight of you drove him to madness. And feeling your fingers reaching up to knot into his hair and yank only spurs him on more.

Feeling you cum felt better the second time then the first time. Is dizzying how quickly this one crashes over you. He’s a little disappointed that there’s a lack of liquid to splash against his muscular thighs this time, but promised himself your third would be messy after seeing the creamy ring you left around his cock. A welcome addition of more lubricate so he could comfortably drag against your spongy wall. It mind numbing how good it felt to fuck you though it- he was sure you were tearing up his thighs with your pretty up kept nails but he couldn’t be bothered with the white hot burn when he feels the lingering throb of your orgasm.

“Wrap your arms around my neck, baby,” he pleads with his lips against you, thrusting at an almost animalistic pace. 

The up kick in the power of his thrust distracts you. You don’t move quick enough for him as he growls, smacking at the bundle of nerves between your legs. It’s all it takes for you to jolt and snap your arms above you and wrap them around his neck.

It knocks the wind out of your smoke assaulted lungs when his other arm loops around your other thigh. Heaving you out of the water into his arms. You see the world from an uncomfortably high angle as he stands straighter. Gasping as you grasp the inky tendrils of his hair in a painful tug.

“Oh fuck,”

It’s sinful, the way he’s slamming you up and down on him. Bouncing you in the air like a toy. Small and weightless in his hands as he used you to cum. There was an ache in your hips at the position, the sea breeze against your exposed cunt only edged you on more though. You were shaking in his hands, and he’s never seen you so delicate and vulnerable for him- he’d be sure to make fun of how quickly his dick turned your sour bratty mood into nothing but a brain dead euphoric smile.

“All you fucking needed all these years, huh?” he asks you, “Woulda saved me so much grief if I had just mated with you then, huh?”

He isn’t expecting an answer, just mindlessly babbling to himself as he slides against the spongey spot of your cunt. It’s amazing to him how you jerk in his arms, stretching yourself backwards to clutch onto his neck better, straining your head sideways to pull at his hair and yank him into another sloppy kiss. Your wet lips are chilled by his breath as he pulls away,

“Touch your pussy for me baby, I wan’na cum so bad,”

As if he needs to feel your orgasm rip across his nervous system to make him cum. How could you deny the pretty aqua eyes pleading with you. It doesn’t feel as good when you do it considering you had grown so used to his much larger fingers padding against you but it still felt good. Too good to be so dirty. Too good to be mated in the early hours of the morning in a public space. His hips jerk up to match the painful drop of your ragdolled body against him and it makes you see stars. Stars that were successful in blinding him as well.

“Ya that’s it baby, don’t stop-“

It hurts to clench down on him. The painful snap behind your belly button could only be met with you dead weighing your body down deeper onto his cock and the fluttering push of your plush cunt.

He could have topped over with the speed he used to look down over your shoulder. He didn’t want to miss the sight of your pussy cumming for him. Not when you show him how much his pretty pussy can gush for him. He thought the small splash of liquid from your first orgasm was squirting- but at the sight of the liquid that sprays against the rocks ahead of you his thrusts grow sloppy. He doesn’t know how he was so lucky to have your juices splash up into him but he’s thankful for it- never wants the smell of you to leave his face.

How can he not want to cum at the feeling of your body completely giving into him. Laying limp in his big arms while he fucked up into you. There was no clenching resistance of your fluttering hole or pulling yourself up off of his body. Only his pretty girl in his arms getting filled the way no other man could ever fill her.

He hates how bad it hurts to slide out of you when he feels himself starting to cum. You offer no support in keeping his composure as your fingers slide down from where they rested on your cunt and gently caress the tips of your fingers against his tightening ballsack.

“You’re gonna make me cum,”

He knows he’ll never live down the breathy gasp of his words or moaning the way he does for you. He prays no one is within earshot of the wanton moans that leave his throat but he can’t help himself. You’re so wet and warm and tight. He swore there wasn’t a pussy in all of Pandora that would milk him half as well.

And Eywa, when he finally finds the strength to give in and pull out and your small palm wraps around the head of his cock, twisting and jerking him until an embarrassingly fat load shoots from him- he can't stop the loud growl that his moans turn into.

He would accredit the buckle of his knees to the fact that you were failing at aiming his cum towards your belly due to the erratic jerking of your hand against the tip of his cock, sending his cum not only over your pretty body, but shooting haphazardly onto the floor and most likely into the water. But the real reason for his weak legs was the sweet and huffed way you were babbling that you would love him forever.

#avatar x reader #avatar (2009) #avatar the way of water #ao’nung #ao’nung x reader #ao’nung smut #avatar fandom #avatar smut #neteyam #sully!reader #aonung x reader #aonung smut #aonung imagine

[berryjoong]

✩ devil by the window - hwang hyunjin - part two ✩

part one

pairing: demon!hyunjin x angel!afab reader

summary: the words hyunjin left you with keep ringing in your ears, there’s only one way to ensure your fate.

song: devil by the window ~ tomorrow x together

word count: 6.4k (oops)

tags: @midsoulz @sanxoxodra

warning: smut under the cut, minors do not interact!! oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), angel x demon dynamics, unprotected sex (pls don’t do this), creampie, egregious of use of the pet name angel, ummmm idk what else to put this is kinda terrible lmao

small a/n: lol part two is finally here!! sorry that took forever i really tried to keep the same dynamics but also slowly change them over time into smth more romantic. this is so long and still under editing but i wanted to finally get it posted! i hope you all enjoy and drop a request if you’d like!

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“you were my mission all along, angel.”

“anytime you wanna give up and come home with me, you’re welcome.”

hyunjin’s words rang in your ears long after he said them. no matter what you did, you couldn’t escape the words running circles in your head. it felt like they followed you wherever you went, haunting the corners of your mind.

it had been a few days since he’d let his true agenda slip, along with an offer for you to “come home” with him. you’d never admit it, but you’d been thinking about it more than you’d ever expected.

you knew what it meant, leaving your own home up in heaven and fully rejecting everything you’d ever known. you couldn’t figure out why you were even thinking of leaving, it wasn’t that you were doing it for love, you didn’t even like hyunjin. and yet, there was something in the deep recesses of your brain that kept telling you to go for it, to just let go and give into what the pesky demon wanted.

all you could chalk it up to was just that you thought it a better fate to leave on your own than be sentenced down to hell if ever anyone discovered what you two did in the shadows.

but then there was the other side of your mind, the more rational side that knew you were crazy. if hyunjin was this insufferable now, what would he be like if you did give in and let him have his way? he’d hold it over your head forever. he’d be able to take the credit for dragging you down and the last thing you wanted to see was his smug smile staring back at you for the rest of eternity.

you knew the smart move was just to wait until your human passed, take their soul back to heaven and just forget everything you’d ever done with the thorn in your side demon.

it was exactly what you planned to do. it was what you had to do and you knew that, too. your human was getting old by this point, you only had to hold out a few years more, no problem.

no problem… right?

right.

hyunjin, on the other hand, was acting like he’d already dragged you down to hell and completed his mission. he sauntered around more than normal, smug little smile plastered on his face as he continued tormenting you as always.

“something on your mind, little angel?” he asked, an eyebrow quirked as he looked at you.

you snapped out of the daze you were in and glared over at him. “whatever i’m thinking is none of your business, demon. if i say another word, you’re liable to just drag me with you.”

hyunjin shrugged nonchalantly as he walked closer to you. “i can’t take you unless you choose to go.”

“and why would i choose to go with you, hmm? i’d never spend an eternity with you if i had a choice.” you held his gaze as he halted his steps in front of you.

“but that’s just it, isn’t it? one little word to your higher ups and your choice goes poof! you know that as well as i.” there was that stupid smile again, as if he knew he had you in his little trap before you’d even said anything.

you shook your head, slowly taking a step back from him. you wouldn’t give him what he wanted, you couldn’t. “i’ll never give into you,” you shot back at him, your eyes burning into his.

hyunjin stepped forward, easily closing the distance between you, small smile growing into something utterly devilish. “we’ll see about that, angel.”

and that was how it continued.

•••

you didn’t know why you’d done it. maybe his words really had scared you that much. either way, there was no going back now. it wasn’t like you had much of a choice anyway, you’d never been good at just denying him and leaving.

your human had finally died. and barely, just barely it seemed, you scraped the soul away from hyunjin and brought it safely up to heaven. in the back of your mind you knew he let you take it, he had his sights set on a mission far above a simple human soul.

and now, here you were, readying yourself to leave heaven, leave your home.

truthfully, you had no obvious reason for leaving, but something inside your brain nagged at you, reminding you of the mischievous gleam in hyunjin’s eyes the last time you saw him. he was up to no good, he never was, and you didn’t want to stay to find out what he’d do with the heavy blackmail he had against you. you hadn’t gone with him and you knew that was a blow to his more than massive ego.

he’d stop at nothing to make sure his mission was completed and so, before he could get you damned for all eternity, you would do it yourself. leaving heaven and turning to the other side was the most damning offense one could commit.

you didn’t feel like you had another choice, it was only a matter of time before your demon counterpart enacted revenge for his failed mission. you’d be damning yourself but anything was better than seeing the smug demon get his way and condemn you himself.

you stopped at the edge of the heavenly threshold, white light still surrounding you, and looked down, down, all the way to the very pits of hell below you. you turned to look back at the gates of your beautiful home once more and felt a single tear roll down your cheek.

taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes, and jumped.

•••

“angel? angel, what the fuck are you doing?”

the hushed, hurried words were the first thing you heard as your consciousness started coming back to you. the second thing you noticed was the strong arms that kept you held securely.

that voice though, you’d know it anywhere. it was public nemesis number one and the sole cause of you being here, hyunjin. as soon as you recognized that voice, you tried squirming away, rolling out of the arms that had a hold on you.

“oh no, angel, i have you here, i’m not letting you go now,” the voice said, a sharp chuckle following. you opened your eyes, slowly blinking as the demon’s face focused above you. he seemed focused, perfect eyebrows knitted together as he held you in his arms. you vaguely registered the feeling of walking, a door being shoved open and being set down on a soft surface. a bed?

“wh-what are you doing?” your words were soft and unsure as you kept your eyes trained on the demon that had taken you in. he was walking around the room you were in casually, pulling a blanket out of the small dresser in the corner. hyunjin came back to where you were laid on the bed and spread the blanket across your form.

“i’m just making sure you didn’t get scooped up by any other… lowlifes that stay around here. they’re not all as nice as i am, you know.” he raised an eyebrow, directing a pointed stare your way. “the real question is, what are you doing down here? that was quite a trip and fall you had.”

at his remark you scoffed and looked away from him. “i didn’t fall, i jumped.”

that seemed to pique his interest more, both eyebrows now raised in surprise. “oh, really? and why would you want to do that, hmm?”

“because i didn’t- i don’t trust you,” you sneered back at him. “you didn’t complete your little mission, there’s no way you expect me to believe that you’d play fairly after that. i just figured damning myself was better than you doing it for me.”

hyunjin shrugged, as if contemplating your words. “true, i thought about it, but i figured you’d finish my work for me. and here you are, so it would seem i was right.”

“i did it on my own,” you shot back hotly, “i’m not here because you lured me down here with your smooth words and pretty face.”

“so you think i’m pretty now, do you?” the smug smirk that painted his face had you regretting your words instantly.

you gave him a once over and scoffed once more, rolling your eyes and looking away from him. “you’re a demon, it’s your literal purpose to be pretty and tempt people to follow you down to their infinite demise here.”

“oh, you mean just like you did? it’s okay, angel, it’s not always easy to admit defeat like this.” hyunjin’s sarcastically sympathetic tone mocked you as the smirk on his lips grew ever wider.

you started clambering up from the bed you were in, ready to ring the infuriating demon’s neck. “you little-”

“you’re stuck here now, unless i can find a way to get you sent back. you’d better pray to whomever you have up there that they’ll take you again. if not, i’ll make sure we have lots of fun down here together, angel.” he sent a cheeky wink your way before turning to leave the room, perfect hips swaying slightly as he walked.

“feel free to just make yourself at home, little angel, it’s going to be a long night,” he called over his shoulder as the door swung shut behind him.

taking a breath, you fell back on the bed behind you. you’d collect your thoughts and figure out what to do next. one thing was certain, you couldn’t and wouldn’t stay here any longer than completely necessary.

you were dumbfounded at the thought of the miserable demon actually trying to help you and knew not to trust any seeming kindness that came from him. he was incapable of true kindness and love, a care for others; everything he did came with an angle that was set only to benefit himself. you could only trust yourself in this situation, knowing full well that as soon as hyunjin tired of playing with you and your fate, he’d cast you aside like yesterday’s souls.

•••

you weren’t sure how long you’d been in hell.

it was called hell for a reason, a special place of torture for souls that didn’t get taken to heaven. it wasn’t as people on earth thought, there were no pits of fire and brimstone. instead, the souls were brought to places where their most atrocious sins were committed and made to live those sins unending, forcing them into insanity for all eternity. the demons each had their own roles in tormenting the humans’ souls, whether it be carrying out the torture or luring the souls down to their punishment.

in the time you’d been in hell, you learned more about the place than you’d ever wanted to. as an angel, you’d never made it a point to learn what’s exactly went on deep into enemy territory, but now you were stuck with no option but to learn.

it had been your choice to come here, yes, but you couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened if you had stayed in heaven. maybe hyunjin never would’ve come for his revenge, maybe you would’ve been damned either way. but you’d made your decision, you’d never know the answers to the what if’s that plagued you at night.

speaking of the pesky demon, he’d been surprisingly… civil over the time you’d been trapped in that spare room. he’d bring you food, even though you didn’t really need it. you figured it was just so he could come and gloat, enjoying the sight of seeing you stuck with him until further notice. he’d said he was working on a way to get you sent back to heaven, although you doubted any truthfulness in his words as you changed more by the hour to look increasingly like the creatures that inhabited these depths of the universe.

hyunjin had also mentioned that it wasn’t safe for you to leave until either he got you back into heaven or until your body finished changing and adapting to the new climate.

“i don’t particularly care, but i figure if it’s truly my fault you came down here, i should give you a chance before throwing you to the wolves,” he’d said, a gleam making its way into his eyes. “plus, i enjoy being the only one who gets to ruin you like that.”

you hated how you were unable to help the flush that covered your face at his words. “like i’d ever let you defile me like that again after what you’ve done,” you spat back at him.

at your words he just snickered to himself and shook his head. “we’ll see about that, angel.”

despite his taunting words, he continued being civil with you, unnerving you with how well-behaved he acted in your presence. it felt like he was trying to lull you into a false sense of security before ripping the ground out from under you. he’d come into your room and explain more things about the goings on in this hellish realm and watch in interest as the once pure white wings you could summon turned to dusty grey before fading completely to black.

you had figured out after some time that you weren’t going to be able to go home, back to heaven, and you supposed hell was now “home.” there was no way they’d take you again with how you’d changed during your time in hell. you decided that as stupid of a move as it might have been to leave that ultimately it was for the best, a choice you wouldn’t try and fight with yourself over anymore. what’s done was done.

“i don’t know if you’ve even tried getting me out of here, but i’d like you to stop,” you told hyunjin the next time he came into the room he’d loaned you. “given” was too nice of a word for a being like him, a being like yourself, now, too. “it was my decision to come here and i don’t want to be sent back.”

the demon’s eyebrows raised as he stared at you in surprise. “oh really, why the sudden change of heart? i’ve finally won you over into deciding that hell is the place for you?”

you rolled your eyes, gaze incredulous as you shook your head at him. “in your delusional dreams, demon. what, do you really want me that badly?”

to that, he shrugged, his face impassive. “i’ve never made any secret of it, have i?”

you just blinked at him, unsure what to make of his words. you knew you shouldn’t dwell on it, it was only another trick designed to make you stumble and believe demons could feel or be anything other that the heartless, cruel tricksters they were at their cores.

“this is just another one of your lies, isn’t it? you got me down here, you got what you want, can’t you stop torturing me?” you looked at him now, shaking your head again in disbelief.

the demon in front of you scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “why would it be a lie?”

“because all you do is lie!” you spat at him. “all demons do is lie and ruin things and destroy what’s good, just look at what you did to me!”

at that, you could see hyunjin visibly recoil, something akin to hurt making its way onto his face. it was just a flash before it faded, the demon’s face setting itself back to the impassive shield it had been before. he rolled his eyes at you, as if he was dealing with nothing more than a petulant child.

“that’s what you really what you believe then? fine by me.” hyunjin turned on his heel and strode toward the door. but not without first calling back over his shoulder, “but don’t blame your predicament down here on me. you were the one that jumped, remember?”

the door slammed behind him, shutting you in once again. you had about had enough of the stupid demon’s games. taking you in, being nice to you, not trying to get in your pants the whole time, and now telling you he had wanted you the whole time. you knew he had some angle, but you just couldn’t figure out what it was.

you had to believe that you were ultimately just a plaything for the crafty being, the connotations of his words as anything else were too much for you to think about. demons didn’t have hearts, they couldn’t feel, despite their previous existence as angels. you knew that and you had to keep remembering it, as the way he’d been treating you since your fall was almost enough to make you think otherwise.

you couldn’t, you wouldn’t open yourself up to the possibility of hyunjin’s antics being anything else other than a game designed to completely break you and make you just like him.

and yet, just yet, you couldn’t deny the tiny nagging inside of you that nearly wished his words were true. he was beautiful, you wouldn’t argue that, and you had to hand it to him that he had done a good job of making it seem like he really didn’t mind you around. that was what demons were best at, being sweet and inviting and lying through their teeth to get their prey to fall right into their traps.

you couldn’t fathom what more he’d want from you, why he was still playing with you after all this time, but you were determined to find out why, once and for all, the next time you saw him.

•••

it appeared to you some time later that if you wanted answers, you would have to be the one to get them yourself. you had apparently upset hyunjin as he hadn’t come into your room for the past couple days and you were starting to get bored waiting for him. so, you plucked up the remnants of your courage and shoved yourself off the bed you’d been sitting on, making your way to the door keeping you in.

you pushed the door open, pleasantly surprised at the fact that it wasn’t locked this whole time. you found yourself in a hallway, looking to your right found a dead end, but to your left seemed to be another room. you wandered down toward the short hallway to the other room, finding yourself in a more spacious living room. it wasn’t big, but it was a modest size for a demon of hyunjin’s repute.

there weren’t any windows, but instead paintings of the world above scattered the walls of the room. off to one side of the room sat a chair with what looked like an easel, paints in a perfectly organized line, and a half finished painting of a flower vase sitting atop the easel. you had thought him one to appreciate art, much less create it; but once more, the idea of the demon you’d built up in your head was shaken. it made him seem less like the dark creature he was and almost more like the being of light he had been before.

you looked to the other side of the room and saw a small couch, with a figure crumpled up under a blanket. it was hyunjin, no doubt, but… why was he out here? this was his place, surely if he wanted to sleep he could-… and suddenly, it dawned on you. he did have a room to sleep in, but he had given that up when he took you in.

now, you were thoroughly confused. had he really been telling you the truth in saying he wanted you down here, with him?

“if you want to stare at me that much, you could’ve just asked, angel,” the figure under the blanket said, his voice gravelly from sleep. hyunjin peeked his face out from where it had been smushed against his arm and the blanket.

“i- i thought demons didn’t need to sleep,” you said back, purposefully ignoring his earlier comment.

hyunjin blinked a couple times before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “we don’t, but who am i to deny myself the comfort of a good nap sometimes?”

you couldn’t help the next words that you blurted out. “you gave up your room and bed for me. why?”

“i told you, you were my mission, angel.” his pretty face turned blank as he spoke and lifted himself up onto his elbows to look at you better. “not that you’d believe anything i say, you’ve made that very clear. but it’s the truth, you fascinate me and i wanted you here with me. i was given permission by my superiors to drag you down if you didn’t want to come after our mission was over. but ultimately, i wanted the choice to be yours, what use would it be to have you down here against your will and hating me for the rest of eternity?”

hyunjin slowly removed the blanket that covered him and stood up, beginning to pace the floor in front of the couch. his expression stayed perfectly blank, seeming intent on not giving away any of his true feelings behind the matter.

“true, you may still hate me for the rest of eternity,” he continued, clasping his hands behind his back, “but at least i know that for once my hands are clean in the matter of bringing you here. you came of your own volition and while i may have… helped persuade you, the decision was still yours in the end.”

you stood in your spot, quietly listening as he paced while unraveling his whole plan with you. “but… why not say anything? what do you actually want with me that you’d go through all that to maybe end up with me here?“

hyunjin stopped pacing for a moment and shot you a pointed stare, one eyebrow raised. “although i do have demons down here to consort with if i wish, i have always enjoyed a challenge. and you, angel, were the perfect challenge for me.”

the demon resumed his leisurely strides across the floor, shrugging his shoulders as he continued his explanation. “sometimes risks are worth taking, clearly you know that as well as i since you’re here. and i found you a worthy challenge and risk to take. the way i saw it, either i end up with someone to share with in my mischief or i don’t, and i have a few laughs and good fucks along the way. the choice is still yours, angel.”

the entire time you’d been listening to him, you were mulling over the choices presented to you. obviously, hell was your home now and you were never getting back into heaven; all the thoughts you’d been thinking of hyunjin and demons as a whole now applied to you.

on one hand, you could just leave him and hope to the powers that be that you wouldn’t run into him again in your long eternity down here. or, the decision that was starting to look better by the moment; you could stay, he’d made it apparent that he wanted you to, for whatever reason. being transformed into a demon now as you were meant you wouldn’t have to follow the angelic code you’d held to before, you were free to be and do what you want.

you could stay, you would stay here and you’d have fun with him right back. if he could torment you and make you doubt everything you’d known for years during your mission on earth, it was only fair that you do the same back to him, right?

“fine, you want me so bad? i’ll stay. but i’m on your level now, hyunjin, so don’t expect me to play nice.” you crossed your arms over your chest, staring him down from your spot halfway across the room.

the fiery gleam in his eyes that you’d grown to… appreciate was back the moment the words left your mouth. in less than half a second, he’d crossed the space between you, wrapping you up in his arms.

“how far you’ve fallen, my little angel,” his voice dropped an octave, his hold tightening around you, effectively trapping you against him. his face was right above yours, if either of you moved even an inch, your lips would be on his.

“i already told you, i didn’t fall, i jumped,” you whispered, ever defiant.

hyunjin’s gaze turned downright hungry as he gazed at you, lips curling over his teeth into a perfectly devilish smile. “that’s what i like to hear.”

he leaned down, closing the minute distance between you and pushed your lips together in a searing kiss.

you kissed him back fervently, your eyes falling shut as you pressed closer against his body. you brought your arms up to encircle the back of his neck, giving into the need for him you’ve been trying to bury since the very first time this tussle together happened. there was nothing stopping you from holding back now and as hyunjin had pointed out earlier, who were you to deny yourself what you wanted?

“fuck,” he breathed against your lips, “i missed this, angel.”

you chuckled, pulling back to attach your lips to his jaw, steadily working your way down his neck. “don’t tell me you didn’t have your pick of any other being you wanted.”

hyunjin let his head loll back, giving you more access to suck pretty little marks on his skin. “i never said i didn’t, but none of them were you.”

you huffed out a breath at his words, leaving a particularly harsh nip at his neck, reveling in the short hiss that left the demon’s mouth. “you’re stuck with me now, hope you made the right decision.”

“i know i did.” hyunjin threaded his fingers through the hair at the back of your head and brought your face up to his, slotting your lips together once again. he pulled away just enough for you to see the ever-present smirk on his face. “and now i’m gonna show you just how perfect of a decision it was.”

he easily scooped you up in his strong arms, you immediately wrapping arms and legs around him in response. you set back to work on creating a myriad of hickeys on his neck as he takes you back to his room, the colors blooming beautifully with each kiss and bite you leave on his perfect skin.

as soon as you’re back in hyunjin’s room, he tossed you down on the bed and stood over you for a moment, looking ready to ravish you completely. unsure how long it had been since both of you last fucked, you were ready to do whatever he wanted as long as it ended with him inside you, pounding you into the mattress.

your legs fell open, inviting him to do as he pleased. a smile made its way to the demon’s face as he took in your splayed out form before him.

“my perfect little angel,” he breathed out, leaning over you and caging you in with his arms, “i’m going to absolutely ruin you.”

you just wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him down to kiss you again. hyunjin kissed you back like it was the last time he’d be able to, pressing his lithe body against yours. you felt his teeth nipping at your bottom lip and you couldn’t help the soft squeak you let out into the kiss. he took the opportunity to slide his tongue between your lips, claiming your mouth with his own.

you moaned into his mouth, pushing your body into his as your hands ran across his shoulders and down his arms. in return, the demon above you ground his hips on yours, pulling away from your lips moments later in favor of mouthing down your neck. he sucked and nibbled his way across your neck and to your collarbone, skin blooming with new marks of your own.

“no one else gets to mark up my pretty angel like this but me, right?” his words were hot on your skin and you could feel his smirk when you nodded quickly.

“only- only you,” your voice came out a stilted whimper as hyunjin nipped at a sensitive spot on your neck. “you’re stuck with me now, ‘m gonna stay around and annoy you all the time.”

hyunjin chuckled lowly, running his tongue over the latest mark he’d made. “that’s right, gonna make you just as wicked as i am, pretty one.”

you shivered slightly, feeling the demon’s fingers dance over your body, moving toward the hem of the shirt you wore. you arched your back as hyunjin made quick work of pulling your shirt over your head, discarding it and your undergarments beside you on the bed.

hyunjin looked down at you, his gaze nearly reverent as he took in the sight of your form in front of him. he slid his hands up your sides to knead at the flesh of your chest, eyes transfixed on how your tits moved, nipples pebbling up under his fingertips.

after a moment, he leaned down, capturing one nipping his mouth and swirling his tongue around the bud. your head rolled back at the feeling, letting out a loud moan at the sensation. your hands found their way to his hair and you tugged on the strands, making hyunjin groan into your skin.

“more, hyunjin, please,” you pleaded, lightly pulling on his hair again.

hyunjin looked at you, pulling his mouth off your tit with an obscene pop. “oh, you want more, do you? i’ll give you more, don’t worry, just wanna get a taste of you first, angel.”

he made short work of removing his own shirt before your skirt and underwear, adding them to the steadily growing pile of clothes next to you. the demon kissed down your body, leaving tiny bite marks as he went, moving closer to where you needed him most. he spread your legs open, holding them still as he mouthed along the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

you keened as he finally attached his lips to your core, tongue eagerly flicking over your clit. your hands immediately drifted back to his hair, fingers tangling in the soft strands as you tried to pull him closer to you.

“be patient, angel,” came the soft murmur against you, “i’ll give you what you want soon enough.”

you whined softly but it quickly turned into a high pitched moan as you suddenly felt two fingers push into you along with his tongue that stayed playing with your clit. he smirked at your reaction, sucking lightly at the bud to see what that would get him. another loud moan tore itself from your lips and you tried to close your legs on his head, one of hyunjin’s strong hands preventing you from doing so.

“remember, be patient for me, my angel. good things come to those who wait,” you felt his words more than heard them, his mouth barely leaving you as he spoke. you simply nodded, unable to help yourself from pulling lightly at his hair again.

hyunjin kept lapping at you, his fingers languidly making their way in and out of you, curling this way and that, already bringing you close to your release. he’d let out soft groans every time you tugged on his hair, the vibrations from his voice adding to the pleasure you felt. you neared closer to your climax, your walls starting to pulse as hyunjin worked you with his fingers and tongue.

just when you were about to reach your high, everything was suddenly gone, leaving you wanting. you couldn’t help the pitiful whine that left your lips as you glared at the smirking demon.

“you truly are evil, you know that?” your eyes narrowed at him, displeasure evident on your face.

hyunjin just chuckled and shrugged nonchalantly. “so you’ve said a time or two hundred. and yet, you’re still here, so you obviously enjoy how evil i am.”

you glared at him harder, trying to swat at where he stood between your legs with your foot, narrowly missing his hip when he jumped out of the way. he shook his head at you, tutting softly.

“my naughty angel,” he said with a raised eyebrow. “and here i thought you wanted to be good.”

you rolled your eyes petulantly before fixing him with a challenging stare. “what can i say? i guess you’ve just rubbed off on me.”

at that, the demon let a devilish little smile creep onto his face once more. “and how glad i am for that. now be good for me and maybe i’ll let you cum tonight.”

hyunjin shrugged his pants and underwear off, cock slapping up against his lower stomach, just as pretty and proud as the demon it belonged to. you’d be lying if you said it had no effect on you, your mouth watered and you vowed to yourself to absolutely devour it the next time the opportunity presented itself.

“like something you see?” you heard the smug tone dripping from the demon’s words. you could see the fire igniting in his eyes as he stepped between your legs again, unhurriedly tugging at his length. he lifted one knee on top of the bed, angling his hips toward yours and ensuring that with every tug the head of his cock would tap against your dripping entrance.

“please- please just fuck me already, hyunjin,” your plea came out as mostly a frustrated whimper.

that only stroked his ego more but even so, he crawled on top of you once again. “since you asked so nicely, who am i to deny my favorite angel?“

hyunjin rubbed his cock between your folds for another moment before lining up with you and pushing in slowly. your head rolled back when he finally bottomed out, mouth falling open as you moaned out loud.

“you feel so good, always so tight for me, angel,” he said, his voice mostly a moan at the feeling of your warmth around him. the demon above you held onto your hips, keeping you still as he started thrusting in and out of you at a leisurely pace.

your hands grasped at him, finding purchase on his shoulders as your nails dug into his skin. hyunjin tugged you closer, starting to pick up his pace and pulling your hips to meet his powerful thrusts. he let out a low groan at the slight sting of your fingernails scraping against his shoulders, leaving trails down his toned arms.

hyunjin let go of your hips a moment later to lean over you again, propping himself up on his forearms. burying his face in your neck, he left more tiny pecks and nips on the junction between your neck and shoulder, causing you to moan louder than you had before.

your senses were overwhelmed at the feeling of hyunjin everywhere, all over you, the steady drag of his cock against your walls. as he picked up the pace of his hips, you were slowly reduced to nothing but high pitched moans and whimpers, your body pliant under his hold.

“h-hyunjin, please…” you moaned out, holding onto his shoulders tighter and bucking your hips up slightly to meet his.

“please, what, angel?” he asked, his voice taunting. he continued fucking into you, each thrust deep and more intense than the last. he smiled a little at your fucked out form, how you struggled to form the words to answer him back as your high drew closer.

“want- i need to cum, pl-please!” you cried, your back arching up as hyunjin kept pushing you toward your orgasm.

“come on then, cum for me, my pretty angel,” hyunjin whispered into your ear, his hips rocking against yours. his hand snaked down to rub circles on your clit, giving you the last nudge over the edge over the edge of the cliff that had you plunging into your climax.

with a high whine, your release washed over you and you bucked your hips into hyunjin’s, walls spasming around his cock. your release spurred his, cock pulsing inside you as he filled you up to the brim.

he let out a loud groan, rocking his hips into yours as he rode out both your highs. he stilled after a second, slowly pulling out of you and wincing a little at the slight overstimulation.

hyunjin lightly ran a hand down one of your thighs before turning to around to the dresser across the room and taking out a small towel. the demon brushed his dark hair away from his face and made his way back to you, gently cleaning you up and taking care to wipe down your sensitive thighs.

leaning down, he kissed you once again, pushing your lips together in a short kiss. he pulled away a second later, slumping against you lightly as he tucks his head in your neck.

“i missed this. i- i missed you,” he said, his voice soft. hyunjin wrapped his arms around you, gently pulling you closer to him. you curled into his hold in return, no longer trying to ignore the warm feeling that bubbled up in your chest at his words.

“not that i ever planned on admitting it, but i might’ve missed you too, just a little,” you answered him, placing a soft kiss to his cheek.

“i’m glad you decided to stay, my little angel.” he tightened his arms around you, one hand lightly rubbing up and down your back.

“what can i say? your unending snark and wonderful attitude every morning won me over.” you let yourself giggle softly as the demon shook his head.

“and now you get to deal with me… forever,” hyunjin murmured in your ear, his tone menacing but lighthearted.

“i chose my fate, i’m okay staying here and taking over the realms with you; this is what i want,” you said back, a fond smile taking over your face and matching the one spreading across hyunjin’s lips. “you’re what i want.”

“and you’re just what i want, my angel.”

#stray kids #skz smut #stray kids smut #hwang hyujin imagines #hwang hyunjin #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #smut #part two #i tried #angel x demon #pls enjoy #end my suffering

[arcane-essence]

I made a simple reference sheet for Rythian and Zoeya through the Blackrock Chronicles!

Zoey actually used a lot of skins through the series, but they were mostly just changes in accessories so I just picked one per season.

Mostly compliant to the actual skins from the series, but with some liberties taken.

Sadly, no Teep. Maybe someday.

Thank you @yogurtyogitup for your post, I don't know what I'd have done without it LOL

Design notes that line up with the numbers on the pic are under the cut because they got long.

the only thing I actually added to Rythian's Adventure outfit was changing out some black pauldrons (?) his skin had for a mantle in the same colour as his trousers. Everything else I just tweaked, or left out altogether (certain bits on the legs I literally could not figure out, for example) his cloak pins are dark matter. it's a flex.

I think the yellow bit on Zoeya's scarf was meant to be some kind of ring clip, but for the life of me I could not manage to draw that so I replaced it with a mushroom badge.

I decided tassel scarf ends looked good and added visual interest.

Embroidered mushroom on the pocket =)

I think if anyone has a collection of fun socks, it's Zoeya. These ones are directly based off a pair from Accessorize - just google 'mushroom socks' on images and they should pop up.

another pop of colour, this time a simple rainbow =) ‎‎

I meant this to be an archery brace but now that I'm thinking about it I think it's on the wrong arm, oops. I just wanted asymmetry!

he dyed his boots while he was in his edgy period lmao

mushroom pocket is now a bit patchy looking - implication is, she took it off while in the mushroom rebel base and sewed it back on after leaving

star socks! I think Zoeya started leaning towards socks with purple in them during and after the mushroom rebels arc.

sealant on the rainbow was scratched off a bit at some point so the paint is patchy. She probably intended to fix it up at some point, but was always too busy. ‎‎‎‎

I… didn't want to draw sleeves so I gave his coat a cape instead. Sorry.

the eyes follow him no matter where the scarf flaps

he got new boots this time! ignore how similar the style is.

Fun to design but a pain to draw. Like all hands, really.

almost forgot to add this thing so it looks a bit bland

skin asymmetry wasn't a thing yet when this series was coming out, so as a result Zoey's Blackrock Rising skin had two cyber arms. Cool, but apparently not canon - only one of Zoeya's arms was lost. So on the other arm, I put a wrist mounted computer, because it's awesome.

patch in the scarf, and it's shorter since it looks like it's knotted behind her on the skin rather than just loose down. Neat!

new mushroom embroidery for new trousers! Four different types to foreshadow the Twilight Forest arc.

these boots were fun to colour and I unironically want boots that look like this irl.

#mcytflashbackfest #mcyt #yogscast #blackrock chronicles #rythian #zoeya #yogscast zoey #my art #I had to edit that third pic twice bc I realised I'd forgotten to add something. like Zoeya's tattoo.

[oleander-nin]

Hi again, I'm that same person that sent that long ask earlier lol

Okay ESPECIALLY after the poll you put up, I wanna say again that WE ALL LOVE YOU STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP /p

I'm stuck between wanting to be heartfelt and encouraging or just shaking you by the shoulders and scream at you /aff /pos

Ollie, genuinely, don't push yourself too hard. Yeah we love what you write, but we understand that you're a person with a life. You do not owe us anything.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, or maybe looking too far into this, but I feel like you're a perfectionist? And that you feel you have to crank things out quickly and it all has to be perfect. Maybe you feel somehow indebted to give us things to read. and lemme tell you, it's very easy to get stuck in a loop of "do the creative thing for your followers or else". That is, if you aren't in that loop already. I'm sorry, know I'm assuming a lot, and I'm not meaning to pry.

I just say this because I recognize the way you talk in your tags or authors notes. I'm not an author, but I used to post art. I kept getting more frustrated with myself, (and I can definitely tell you are too). I lost motivation, and it stopped being fun pretty quickly because I kept thinking "it needs to be perfect" or "I need to create faster" all for the sake of an audience. So when you apologize, or seem to value your writing so little, it just makes me worry that you're in that same loop. Heck, I mean, I still don't make art often, I still have perfectionist issues and worry about how fast I can create. But it's becoming fun again, slowly.

I just hope that writing is still something you like to do. I would hate for your passion for writing to be squandered by the pressure and expectations of an audience. I know you have a lot going on right now, even if you try and act like you should be able to push through it and write, but please take care of yourself. If the February challenge is getting too difficult, please don't feel like there's any shame in limiting your workload. We'll be happy with whatever you make, and I'll be even happier if I know you actually enjoyed writing it. /gen

WOW this is long I'm sorry lmao. I've been at this for like half an hour. (Do asks have a word limit? Oops I hope not ahshjsk)

Oh also, don't worry about responding to this is an "appropriate" way. I know that this would be hard for me to respond to, so don't feel pressured to say anything at all. Even if you delete this, I'll be perfectly fine with it. /gen I just hope you read it and understand that we care about you. Please feel better <3

YOU TOOK THIRTY MINUTES FROM YOUR DAY TO WRITE ME THIS???? THE HONOR???? SOBBING THANK YOU

Breaking this down paragraph by paragraph cuz you deserve it💪(also I'm avoiding responsibilities rn shhh)

Okay first of all, thank you a lot. This entire thing kinda helped me realized just how bad I was letting myself get. In the back of my mind, I know I don't have to write, or that I shouldn't be doing it the way I am, but it felt like an obligation at some point, both from trying to repay you all in the only way I know how, and from trying to catch up with everyone else. Sometimes it feels like I'm falling behind, and if I don't keep going, I'm just going to lose everything.

I forgive you<3/lhj, but you're not technically wrong. While I'm not in the perfectionist in the sense I won't post something unless I deem it perfect and have checked over 8 times(what I used to do), I still tend to pick apart everything I've made and found every flaw. I realize this is a problem, and have been yelled at by many a teachers for it lol. But yeah, a lot of the time I do feel indebted, and I probably am stuck in that loop(Which is why I'm so bad at actually taking breaks). Don't feel bad for assuming, nothing you could say would really offend me, and you've been dead on this whole time.

I've been meaning to stop talking about how much I hate certain parts of what I write in the tags+A/N's, because I know listening to me whine and cry about something that doesn't matter gets annoying, but I'm not good at that either I guess lol.

I'm fairly certain that writing will always be fun for me, as I'm still looking forwards to doing a lot of the requests I got and one set of ideas I have, but finding the will to write it down seems impossible right now. It's like I'm stuck at the bottom of a sheer cliff and I can't start writing until I read the top. The main reason I'm so mad at myself for flopping so bad with this challenge is because I was able to do the Horrortober one just fine, as well as maintain a schedule for a while. It feels like I'm getting worse rather than getting better, and It's just making me frustrated with myself to the point of just wanting to quit(not that I think I'd be able to if I'm honest. I tried once, yet here I am, only 3 years later.)

Anyways, I'm just going to start putting more time into the writing instead of trying to force a deadline. I want to be able to make longer fics again, and to start TWOAL back up(I've been avoiding it because I want the chapters to start being 4000+ to mimic actual books). I want my writing to seem like it has care and quality, and not like it was produced by a factory. I have once headcanon style fic about the Vamp turts in the work I was spending days on to make sure it was decent, and it alone is better than a lot of stuff I've put out recently.

ANYWAYS

Thank you! I appreciate your words, sorry for the vent. I'll probably just delete this half later lol, but I needed to get some stress out.

#asks <3 #tw vent #vent #writing vent #sorry about this

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

“Glad you’re here”

Summery: Kevin needs some comfort one day and you reassure him. a long chat right next to you is just what he knows he needed. thats great, but somehow it leads to him in your bed and your mouth on his. you know... cause you know... you really wanna make sure he knows his worth and how much you love every part of him. oops I guess approximately a 40 min read

a/n: idk what this is man. Tumblr wouldn't let me post a longer than like two sentence post and so it's a little late. I had a dream about something like this happening like months back and now it's finally come to life! or.... not really to life but life enough lol I told one of my moots on here about the dream and she said "that's perfect fic inspo" so here we are. at this point I can't remember if the smut part was in my dream but oh well I aint complaining. I don't know if this is any good cause I haven't written smut in a minute but pleas enjoy and let me know if y'all have any hard thots or future fic suggestions. (it was so exiting when I got my first request you have no idea I felt like real writer who people actually enjoy content from and not much could top that feeling ya know) I probably won't get to them for a month lmao but still id love to hear them!

warnings/info: cursing, Kevin had a bad week, comfort, reader and Kevin’s type of relationship is never specified in this fic if that’s makes sense, kissing, smut, low key body worship, like a little bit toward Kevin from reader, oral sex (reader receiving), also Kevin fingers reader, reader is afab when it comes to smut but is gn otherwise, mentions of having to go get a condom but no sex is described, think that’s it! misspelled words and incoherentness im sure, ill fix them soon, Pls lemme know if there’s anything these

THIS IS SMUT SO MINORS DNI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD HAVE AN AGE INDICATOR IN YOUR BLOG SAYING YOURE NOT A MINOR SO I DONT HAVE TO BLOCK YOU! ID HATE TO BLOCK SOMEONE WHO DOESNT NEED TO BE BLOCKED thx

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in no way meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

••••••••••••••••••••

a familiar knock on your door brings you out of the daze you once were in. For once you weren’t doing anything. Comfort flowing through your veins as you relaxed. You weren’t expecting anyone…. You glance at your phone to see Kevin’s profile picture pop up. A candid photo you took of him while he was laughing at something or the other on a Ferris wheel when you two were just friends. The message simply said “hey it’s me” weirdly dry and weirdly simple coming from him. but your heart still leaped for joy out of you chest when you read it. Somehow more peacefulness coming over you as you walked to let him in, though you were scared something was wrong.

you swing open the front door, still halfway looking at your phone. I mean, if you had a cute picture of him that was at your disposal at all times in your phone, you'd be looking at it still too. it was one of those pictures were only you could see. something for your eyes only... that sentiment seemed to be a running theme in your relationship. not that you minded, though. you welcomed it. relished in the feeling of being so damn close to him.

you don't even get to let out a word before his arms are around you, his head is in your stomach, and his heavy breath his flattening out your shirts wrinkles. he's on his knees as first but when he gets up you stumble backward further into your place, shutting the door with your foot. he steps back, half to regain his composer he lost the second he saw you worried about him, and half because he realized he was probably too forward. he kicks off his shoes and before you know it you can hear little quiet sniffs coming from the man.

"you good?" you ask, even though you knew that he wasn't.

he peels his face off your shirt as you tuck your phone into your back pocket so as to not have any distractions. you wanted, no needed to be fully there right now. completely zeroed in on him and whatever he needed. In a flash it was like a full 360 realization came onto Kevin. In a flash he's pulling away from you and trying to compose himself. "God, im sorry. I-I didn't mean for my visit to turn out like this." he just wanted to see your face, talk a little bit, not to break down the second he saw you. His eyes dart around as he plays with his own fingers.

You take his hand, guiding him to sit down where you previously were. and god does he really want to scoot himself as close as physically possible to you. but he doesn't want to come off too strong, or like he was needy or anything. but now he's sitting here in arms reach of you and he's nearly screaming inside for you to pull him closer. "Don't be sorry. I’m glad you’re here.” you tell him, softly but firmly. it was more than that thought, and he took the opportunity you'd given him to tell you why he was upset. "I dunno, it wasn't one big thing or anything. but sometimes... sometimes I feel like im too much, you know? or that im not doing enough all at once. But hat probably doesn't make any sense though. kinda stupid, right?" your eyebrows creased together like you were asking what the hell he meant.

Over the course of the better part of an hour he tried so so so damn hard to explain to you what he was feeling and why he thought his entire body felt like it was aching because of it. You listened for a while until you got up to bring the both of you a snack cause he looked a little hungry. he wanted to stay close to you, though, so he followed you to where you kept your snacks and back. and though he was siglent on your short walk, you could almost feel the heaviness that was within him. it seemed to seep through his pores and straight into the air. but you still listened to him, trying to put in what you thought when he needed it.

through broken sobs and quivering lips he had to bite to stop from betraying himself and what he was feeling, he stoped abruptly. "...Like right now." he said simply. "What do you mean?" You prompted. "Are you..." he needed to collect his thoughts and pick himself up, now. "Are you embarrassed of me?" You crained your neck forward, as if you somehow hadn't heard him properly and your ears had tricked you into thinking he had said what you thought he had. "um excuse me? yeah, im gonna need an explanation." you chuckled. and he couldn't help but smile along with your slight laughter. it was infectious. he didn't know why but it seemed like whatever you where feeling he started to as well.

"So far you've spent at least thirty minutes here with men trying to help me." you said. but you still weren't understanding. that was just something you'd do for him. as he'd readily do for you. it came as sedan nature to the both of you and you liked it that way. how you both were so close that either of you could just drop whatever you were doing and help the other. "Does that not seem bad to you?" you simply shook her head. "I had a dream that you were embarrassed of me and how...." he searched for the right words, "you know, needy I can get. And I know it was just s stupid dream, ok? But then I actually started thinking about it." scenes flashed through his mind, burried deep into his heart of all the times you've cared for him. whenever he's feeling insecure and he either came to you about it, or you noticed it, you helped him out of his rut. All the times he's felt sick you've rubbed his back and brought him a cold compress and Vix vapor rub. and sure, he's done these things for you as well... but right now it seemed like he was all the work and you just had to pick up his pieces.

he hated the feeling of causing you so much trouble. and he knew what you would say, too. that "oh no you're not. you need to stop thinking that way about yourself." and he knew it did. he really did know that. but what he also knew was who it seemed like he was acting. no, how he was acting. he wasn't coming to you for every single little thing but sometimes it felt too close to it for his comfort. and not only thing, but, though he knows how you've told him a million times that he's welcome and encouraged to talk things out with you or even just ask for some comfort, he's also well aware how much he's been doing it this past month.

How was it not driving you nuts already? it was sure making him pace around his living room thinking and hoping that you weren't mad at him for it. And he had tried to hold out, ok? he really did today. But then he started thinking about how you probably felt a little suffocated by his latest actions and how it portably looked to outsiders and it made him get all up in his head and that made him only want to come over more. eventually, though, he broke and now here he was feeling bad about even being here.

"you look guilty." you note. "that's cause I am." he admitted, "im sorry that its probably a little weird me coming over like this. or at least me calling you for like an hour because of these things." he swallows thickly, looking at his swinging feet, unable to stop their moving by the floor. you were about to say something but he grasped your hand, blinking a few times and you know you should just let him talk for now. "Is this not embarrassing to you? like, when you talk to people how the hell do you even mention me doing this? I wouldn't blame you if you don't.... you just, seem so happy even when im acting like an actual wreck and y-youre not tired of it? or ashamed? or--" you pull him into your chest, leaning back and bit and letting him fall into a half laying down position, wanting him to be more relaxed.

"you do this for me too, you know?"

"Yeah, but im not the now showing up and the others door like a mess right now. making you take time out of--"

"yeah, but..." you trail off for a moment as he lifts his head up to look you in the eyes. His dark soft hair is sticking up, almost comically, from you pulling at his. more massaging his scalp than anything though, but by the way you gently tugged at his strands he seemed to melt into you easier. "that's what the both of us are here for, no?" you feel him nod into your chest and your small laughter from it causes a vibration to go through your upper chest where he lays his head and into it. you take a deep breath, spurring him to do the same. and for some reason, it really calmed him. air filling his lungs along with you, it felt-- at least to him, that it connected the two of you. releasing, but really it felt like releasing all the negitivity and heaviness that weighed him down. stuck to him like a sickness, and felt like a glue on his lungs that made it hard to breath.

but now, with a clearer head, he listened to you. listened when you said there was no place you'd rather be than with him right now. listened when you told him that no, he's not embarrassing just because he has feelings and lets them out. and he even listened when you told him you're proud of him for still coming to you to talk it out. you wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs and ran your hands through his hair so much it stuck up almost like from electricity. and among talking about other things, the day grew along side the both of you and your chatting. eventually his mind was eased and now taken off of what was bothering him.

===

He wondered how you could even do that, as he lay practically on top of you, wanting to fuse your skin together if he could just to get impossibly closer.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, “please. I-I I really need you closer” you look down at your bodies practically fused together, him basically on top of you, chest to chest and his warm nose, reddening from crying pressed into the crook of your neck. Puffs of air from his heavy breaths tickle your skin and you can’t help but smile as you pull him closer. “We’re already so close, Kev” but really, you knew what he meant. You felt it, too. His hardening dick pressing against your thigh. You could tell he’s trying to be inconspicuous about it, scooting away but you just pull him closer, fingers slicking around his back, thumb padding against his spine.

but you can feel him shiver against you. and not in the typical "I feel so good im practicluy purring" type of way. "You cold?" You ask. Though you know he wasn’t. The sound of him moving further on top of you come to your ears before his voice does. “You made me feel so good.” His face presses further into you neck, pressing a kiss into your rapid pulse. “I wanna make you feel good too… that ok?” You didn’t even need think about it before you nod.

a second later you're in your bed and he's laying on top of you just like before.

He keeps kissing at your neck. the pecks getting longer and more sloppy as the hand ticks on the clock, the only other soul in the room with you. he pulls you up with him so he can circle his hands around your back as yours travel under his shirt, riding it up and feeling his bare skin like it was second nature to you, but exploring like it was new to you all the while. a small smile graced his face and pulls his lips upwards ad he closes his eyes and just feels. feels your fingers on him and relishes it. his lips detach from your neck when he feels you on his lower abdomen. god he really looses his focus too quickly.

But how could he not with you, you and all your splendid glory right in front of him, feeling him up and now slipping your hands underneath the waistband of his pants, making him see stars when you start rubbing his hip bones. it made him get all tangled up in the moment it doesn't even register how you start laying him down. and at this point he doesn't really care as you capture his lips in a searing kiss that leaves the both of you feeling woozy. "open your eyes." you purswade gently. he does so, only for him to tug at the hem of your shirt. "Please," he sounds way too whiney and out of breath for the little that you have done, but he can't help it, getting a little ovewelmed by the thought and look of you, "I need more." you sit up on him, legs swung over either side of him and already dripping heat right above his.

You toss your shirt to the side and within a millisecond he's pulling you back down to him, wanting and needing to feel you on him. your chest presses against his and even though you're still wearing a bra he feels like he's in heaven. and "more" is what you start to give him; kissing down his body and telling him everything you love about him. starting with his shoulders, "you carry so much weight, mediforecly but still. Iove that bout you; how you're so willing to help shoulder a burden." you look up at him for a second, taking a break from just mumbling against his skin, "It also helps how they're so nice looking too. Gorgeous." you move to his chest, "I love you chest, know why?" he shakes his head, "its where one of the few biggest hearts I know is kept." you kiss right by where his heart is, hearing it beat rapidly under his burning hot skin. you go a bit further down his torso to his lungs, "these help you take deep breaths to calm down. im happy when you're calm so I love them." his eyes squint in a smile form your words

but suddenly he realizes as you start to kiss your way further down that-- “This is supposed to be about me making you feel good.” He pulls you up to his lips into a searing kiss that your body can't help but freeze in place from. his hips snap up into yours and you let out a surprised groan from the feeling. the pants you were wearing were thin, but still too much of a barrier from him. he stays underneath you, but now he's a bit more in control, wanting to make you feel above and beyond the love and want and all around good feeling you made him have all up until a moment ago. he sits up and his hands brush up and down your bare back, landing at your hips and keeping them there.

he just wants more. more more more until the both of you bursts. his mouth moves against yours in a way that made you think he was a dream. he sensed it too. and he only wanted to build on that feeling. he moves down to your collarbone and he has to tare himself away so as to not leave a hicky. he has to suppress a loud moan when you start moving your hips on him, grinding on his dick. he grips your hips tighter, thumbs pressing into your sides and the both of you parting lips just for a minute to look deep into each others eyes. he's knows that stare on you, though. a look of longing he wants noting more than to satisfy.

His hand hand travels down your torso to palm your throbbing core needing attention. the heel of his palm rubbing at your clit while his lingers work on your interance. even through the clothes you can't help but sigh in pleasure from his actions. Eventually you just can't take it anymore and you start humping his hand, wanting to realize but also not wanting to peel yourself away for more than a moment to take off your bottoms. under you, Kevin, hard as ever now, let out a whine into your mouth at your lust for him. it seemed like you no only had one thing on your mind and he loved it, chased after that need you felt and tried to expound on it.

you break away from him a moment later though cause, fuck this really isn't getting me anywhere. And help him tug his shirt up and over his head he complies it in his hand and puts it to the side to be long forgotten as you link your hands behind his neck and lean back with him as he chases your lips. he smiles into the kiss and it makes you do the same; a quite moment that wasn't ruined by him gently pulling at the waist band of your bottoms in question and you nodding against him. "oh yes please," you breath out, almost relieved, "I have to have you. thought you'd never ask." your tilt your head back, though you're not quite sure what for until he plants another open mouthed kiss on your sweet spot and you feel like blushing and moaning at the same time.

"Me too," he admits In your ear almost as a whisper, a secret only the two of you were able to share. "I wan-- need you closer." his fingers dance down, down, down, until he finds the wet patch you've made on your underwear. God he fucking needs it on his face, tasting you, smelling you, feeling you around him. better yet, why not get it straight from the source? damn it now he needs you on his face too. all the while he's rubbing you just how he knows youll shiver with pleasure and writhe on top of him, you're eyes are closed. and now thinking of it... and wanting you to know about it, makes him get a little bit bolder. "eyes on me, darling," he mimicked what you had said to him earlier. except this one was less commanding. he starts rubbing faster on your clit, making you pull him closer.

he can't take it anymore; with his free hand he begins to palm himself over his pants "I need you to see how you make me feel." you open your eyes to see the erotic sight right in front of you. his head thrown back and stroking himself over his sweats. you can tell he doesn't know what to make or do with himself. and to be completely honestly neither do you. his tongue is poking out to wet his lips as a high pitched keen meets your ears.

He feels like he really does need to-- need to show you how hard you make him. how else is he supposed to help you to understand all that he wants you to right now? You scoot his hand out of the way and replace it with your own "do I get you like this?" he presses his lips together and nods, barely able to form words with your hand moving on him now. "mmhm only you." the confession made you smile but you weren't able to continue the moment when he shifts so that you drop your hand and lay down further. "remember? you." he chuckles. he returns his hands to your heat, you tugging down your bottoms in the process.

Now that he sees you clad in just your underwear and bra, he can't help but crawl back up to eye level and give a quick peck to your lips. it was too fucking sweet to describe. with a cute smile pulling at his lips, he backs up and his fingers return to pleasure you. your underwear was sticking to your pussy uncomfortably now, wet patch now more visible. and as much as he wanted to tease you more, he also knew what you needed. he rolls down your underwear just as he would any other time. that was one of the things you loved about him, you thought as he dips his fingers into your wetness, testing the waters. you didn't know he was going to come over, you deffintly didn't know that it was going to turn into this. it wasnt like you wore anything special and dressed up, but he still loved it all. noticed was amiss, noting changed.

that was one of the reasons why you didn't mind having to spend so much time comforting him. cause he does the same for you an no matter if you dressed up or not he still gave you what you needed, not just sexually but in general. so of course you'd treat him the same way.

You make a sound of pleasure and now he's hooked, chasing more form you. dropping his entire body down further, he comes face to face with your glistening cunt. the fact that he made you like this-- god can barely think because of it. he takes an experimental lick up your folds and holds his tongue at your clit, putting hot, wet, and steady pressure on it. the muscle moves a bit more, kitten licking at your hole, sucking at your clit, and doing all the things that makes you wanna combust.

his tongue goes in and out, poking inside your gummy walls. and he feels like he's in heaven with you right now. He can barely handle it as he feels you clench around noting and you whisper out his name over and over again, pulling at his hair, tighter than before, bringing him impossibly closer. he grasps your hips to pull your up and even closer. the new angle hitting just right you can't help my moan. "fuck-- I-- I need--" you don't even know what you need at this point you just want more of this, more of him. He's eating you like a starved man, already drunk on how you taste on his tongue, wanting more.

While his tongue works on in between your folds his nose is getting wet bumping at your clit. His hands on your hips makes it perfect to grind on his face. but he doesn't mind, invites it, actually. He just holds out his tongue and lets you grind your way dangerously close to your high. He starts to move along with you, matching your movements as his dick twitches in his pants. the added pressure is just what you needed to go over the edge. you start to slow your movements on him, him picking up the pace so to help you ride it out. his hips rock into the mattress, wanting and needing to feel more. you're sounds proving to be too much without himself feeling something. You're moaning and groaning and whining along with him against you as you feel pure euphoria rush through you like a wave of perfection.

You try to even out your breath as he rubs at your hip bones, sitting up to keep himself from grinding on the bed, he can already tell he's not gonna last long enough to have you later too. "You--" you don't even know what to say as he brings you up with him, you know sitting on his thigh and you don't know if you can take it anymore. neither can he, seeing you cum-- it took everything in him not to follow along with you. he can't help but thrust his hardness up, barely feeling you in the end but he needs something, anything. just the thought of himself feeling your slick on his cock. that's all he needs, really; your wetness on him. he just needs to feel it. so he keeps going, angling his thrusts towards your pussy. he fucks himself into you, needing to feel you on him.

he locks his lips on yours as you rut yourself on his thigh. your fingers that were in his hair unties his pants and inches them down enough so that he get thrust up, getting his tip wet through one less layer. The feeling makes him press his lips harder on yours. he whines into your mouth and you don think you've ever heard a sound prettier. his hands are griping your hips, traveling to your back to bring you closer. you're grinding on his thigh as he tries to grind onto yours, the slick that travailed down your thigh making it easy to slide, rubbing up and down, his mind blank.

he's almost looses sight again with his lips moving in sync with yours. He breaks the kiss to watch his own hand go down to capture your release on them, fucking it back into you when you urge him to hurry up. he curls his fingers right where you want him to, pumping them in and out at the same pace he was thrusting into your thigh. you had just came so the feeling was ten times stronger than before. He senses what you're feeling and pecks your lips one more time before driving his fingers back into your heat. "give me one more? please I know you can." he nearly pleads with you.

You hump his palm, chasing your own high. a slow and intimate grind but enough to get you what you want and need. he feels woozy because of the feeling of your cream lathering up his fingers and forming a ring around the base, now dripping onto his palm as he watches his fingers roll in and out. a moment later and you're releasing all over his hand, his whining while he humps your leg taking it to a whole new level as you moan out in pleasure. and now he's rubbing the slick you've given him back into your pussy

your lips are back on his in an instant, unable to stay away for long after the leg shaking orgasm he gave you. he looks down at his boner. not realizing he had cum along with your with his release making a wet patch all on the front of his boxers. "you're still hard?" you chuckle. "For you? always." he smiles, more of a smirk than anything, back at you. breathing heavy and labored and eyes squinted.

"Do you have a condom?" he asks, half actually asking and half wondering aloud if you wanted to go any further, "I don't think I can keep on seeing you look so perfect without doing anything about it any longer." he wonders if he's even making sense. but when you peck his lips and reach over to your nightstand. he freezes, but he's back to life in a second when you turn to him with one.

“aren’t you glad you’re here?” You laugh, “you get to share you feelings and we get to have each other.”

He’s sure the way you said it must be a joke I’m some way but yeah, he's really glad he came over.

~end~

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[bizarredalek]

Phone Call

Thirteenth Doctor x Reader

Word count: 10,683

Summary: Reader suffers a severe injury and in their final moments they call the Doctor for one final goodbye

Warnings: hurt/comfort, reader gets shot (twice), blood, nightmares

A/N: I’ve had this posted on my ao3 since August lmao I kept forgetting to put it here oop

Call me whenever you need or if you’re ready to come back to the Tardis.

The Doctors voice had been ringing in your head for a few days now. You had asked her to drop you off at home for a bit because you had some errands you needed to do for a few days or so, and she understood. She made sure you had the Tardis phone number – her number, for when you were all set to come back.

‘One more day should be enough,’ you thought.

You were walking back to your house; you had just spent the day with your family. Thankfully, the Doctor put you back in the correct time, so it’s only been a few days since you had last seen them, and not a year or so later – that would have been a disaster. You weren’t sure how long it had been since you started travelling with the Doctor, but you knew you were starting to miss your family, and it was nice seeing them again.

“Home sweet home,” you said to no one in particular as your house came into view, but the words felt empty and wrong on your tongue.

You felt that since being on the Tardis that special blue box had become more your home than the building in front of you. You sighed and trudged up to the front door. When you fished out your keys out of your pocket and put it in the lock, the twist of the key didn’t bring the familiar click of the door unlocking.

The door was already unlocked, and you were positive that you had locked it when you left earlier that day. The door slowly creaked open as you pushed your way inside, sending an uncomfortable chill down your spine. Your first thought was that there was an intruder in your place.

You really hoped you were wrong.

Sneaking your way through the hallways you made sure to grab the first thing you could think of as a weapon, cutting through the kitchen in case you did find someone in your house. Admittedly, it was a frying pan, not the most menacing of weapons, you thought, but if you did find that someone had broken in, you reckoned you could give one hell of a swing on them.

You didn’t have to look very far when you started to hear drawers and things being opened in the living room. You cursed under your breath, it was already too late to turn back now, you were sure if you tried to back out of the house whatever it was that was rummaging around your space would hear you. The thought of calling the Doctor for help briefly crossed your mind, but you shook that thought away. This was probably nothing.

Please be an animal, please be an animal.

You peeked the corner to see it was not in fact an animal, but a kid, maybe a teenager, that was searching around your belongings. In his left hand he held a gun. Your heart stopped in dread thinking that if he caught you he probably wouldn’t hesitate to shoot you, whether it was purposeful or accidental.

‘What to do. What to do,’ you thought.

You considered rushing up behind him and knocking him out, but how could you wack a kid on the head before trying to sneak back out the front door to call for the police. Either option would probably end with you dead in your house. You unconsciously took a step back away from the living room, accidentally knocking your foot into the cabinet. The blood in your face drained, all colour gone. Your heart beat loud in your ears, louder than the rushed footsteps coming at you.

The kid robber rounded the corner and drew his gun on you. You froze. You could see the weapon in his hand tremble, and you guessed that he must’ve been to breaking and entering peoples’ homes. You could probably talk yourself out of harm. You very slowly placed the pan in your hand on the ground by your feet and stood straight with your hands in front of you.

“Listen,” you started to say. “I don’t have a lot of valuables, but you can have whatever you found, alright?”

His arm started to falter and drop, and you let out a huge sigh of relief, but a sudden loud noise from outside startled the both of you. The boy gasped in fright, his finger squeezing the trigger. The loud bang made you jump.

At first you had thought that he missed, and you almost relaxed thinking that you were going to be okay.

Almost

Something wet began to soak through your shirt, and you looked down in horror as your clothing dyed itself red. Your legs trembled under your weight, and you collapsed on the floor.

The action startled the kid again, his attention having been on the direction of the noise. His grasped flinched, your body jerking as another bullet pierced your frame. It was higher this time; the first one hit your stomach and the second just under where your heart was. Both bullets did not go through all the way or cleanly.

You were confused that you weren’t in any pain; was your adrenaline so high that it just blocked it out?

You laid on the floor in shock. You were just shot, you were shot by a kid, and he just panicked and ran to the door. You wanted to stop him, to get him to come back and call for help, but your voice refused to work. You could only let out short breaths, your lungs aching as you did so.

Your shirt was a deep red colour now, nearly covering the whole material, soaked in your blood. Your injuries felt like how you could only describe as a burning fire, and that fire was slowly trying to consume you. Your hands shook violently as you tried to put pressure on the wound, a cry of pain slipping past your lips.

What were you going to do?

Call me whenever you need.

A surge of determination overtook the fire and you forced yourself to get off the floor. You stood on shaking legs and stumbled your way to where your home phone was in the kitchen – a quick pat of your pockets told you your cellphone was missing from you person, either it fell out or it was stolen. Regardless, you didn’t care very much in this moment.

You grabbed a dishcloth to press against the wound against your chest, which was bleeding faster than the other. Pressing with as much pressure as you could muster, you dialed a familiar number that had been on your mind all day. You hoped that the person on the other side would pick up.

“Hello, the Tardis speaking!” the Doctors voice was easily recognizable through the speaker.

You smiled at the sound of her voice. It almost seemed to ease the agonizing pain in your body. You slid down the wall to sit on the floor, the phone still pressed firmly against your ear.

“H-hey, Doctor,” you replied, clearing your throat to hide the tremble wanting to come out.

The Doctor excitedly said your name and you smiled even though she couldn’t see it. “Hey! I wasn’t expecting your call for at least another day. Change in plans?”

You winced, muffling your cry of pain as you pressed harder on you wound. “Ah, not really. I just wanted to catch up with you, ask how your day has been. I just missed you, you know? Haven’t seen you in a while, h-how you been?”

If the Doctor had any idea you were hiding something from her, or that something was wrong, she didn’t show it when she talked. “Oh, you, know, I’m alright. Been here and there and, well, everywhere. Saved the universe, the usual.”

You laughed, a little breathlessly, into the phone. “You always have the craziest adventures don’t you, Doctor?”

She also laughed, a beautiful sound, you wished she’d do it more. “Yeah, well, they’re no fun without you. When are you planning on coming back to the Tardis? I’ve got something fun planned. Imagine; sparkling blue waterfalls that fall from clouds and beaches of the softest sands.”

“Sounds wonderful,” you said almost sadly, a beautiful place that you will never get to see. You looked down to see the blood-soaked cloth and took note that the blood was not slowing down or stopping, the once white material was a deep dark red and poured down your side to form a puddle underneath you. Damnit this is bad. You were getting lightheaded and dizzy. You were glad that you were already sitting down, you didn’t want the Doctor to hear you stumble and fall. Pulling your shirt up to really look at your wound you saw the red angry skin that greeted you. “I was thinking soon. I’ve done all that I needed to do, figured I could use a day to relax, you know?”

“Absolutely!” You wished you could have seen the way her eyes lit up. “Just give me a shout, yeah?”

“Y-yeah,” you nodded, pulling your shirt back down. It was stupid not to tell the Doctor that you were hurt, dying even, you knew you were, but you didn’t want her to worry about you. You couldn’t do that to her, even though you thought it just as cruel, if not more, that she would most likely find you after you had already passed.

“So, tell me about your latest universe save,” you asked, trying to take your mind off the numbness in your fingers.

And so, the Doctor began her tale, and you clung to every word that she spoke. “Well, it was thousands of years in the future, right, and I went to go visit a planet that I used to go to all the time. Anyway, the place was beautiful, waters as clear as air you can almost see all the way to the bottom, so clear you almost couldn’t even see it, and the air was so fresh, and it smelled like vanilla if you could believe it!”

“Wow,” you whispered. Another place you’ll never get to see.

As you continued to listen to the Doctors story your mind couldn’t help but wander. You started to think about all the amazing adventures you had with the Doctor, how great your life had become after you met her, all those worlds you’ve seen, the lives you saved, seeing the people you’ve learned about in books and school. All the running you did, and, oh man, did you two go far.

Then, you thought about her. You thought about her smile as it lit up the darkest room, her eyes that held the universe in them, and her hearts that held so much kindness.

Tears slowly slipped down your cheeks. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, you couldn’t get any air into your lungs, and you hoped you weren’t wheezing into the Doctors ear, hoping that you didn’t interrupt her story.

The numbness grew from your finger, you could barely feel the phone in your hand, and it travelled up your arms and down your legs. Your arm had begun to shake and tremble, making it difficult to keep the phone up, but you held on, you held on for her.

You knew you were never going to see her again, and you accepted that, but as much as you wanted to tell her what happened to you, how you needed her, you knew it was too late for her to help you now. It was up to the Doctor if she decided if she wanted to time travel to save you before you got shot, but you wouldn’t hold any hate towards her if she decided not to, and you were happy that she was there to pick up the phone.

Your body jerked when the Doctor suddenly called your name in your ear. “You still there? Haven’t gone to sleep on me have you?”

You were confused at what had happened. You didn’t remember closing your eyes. “Y-yeah, I’m here. Sorry, I think I dozed off for a second.”

“Hope my story wasn’t boring you.”

“No!” you told her. “No, as if anything you say could be boring.”

You could feel your heartbeat pick up faster trying to work overtime with the blood it had left over in your body to work with, to keep you alive. This is bad. Please, please hold on a little longer, not yet.

The Doctor hummed through the speaker. “It is getting quite late for you. You should go to bed, and I’ll see you later, yeah?”

No please don’t go.

You looked up at the window and saw that the sky was in fact getting darker, and you wondered how long it’s been since you got home.

“Not yet,” you told her, hiding the hitch in your voice as you shifted. “I want to hear more of your stories.”

“Well, there’s plenty of times for stories when you get back to the Tardis,” she told you.

A single tear slipped down your cheek. “Where’s one place you always wanted to go, Doctor?”

A moment of silence. “I don’t know, when there are so many places to visit it’s hard to pick just one. What about you? Where’s one place you want to go?”

You laughed; eyes transfixed on the red puddle that slowly covered white tile floors. “The place of cloud waterfalls and soft beaches.”

Whatever the Doctor said next fell on deaf ears as you zoned out, and it was getting difficult to keep your eyes open.

“You should go to bed,” was the next thing you heard.

You nodded, even though she couldn’t see you. “Y-yeah, I-I’ll see you later. Goodbye, Doctor.”

With a goodnight and goodbye of her own you kept the phone to your ear until you heard the familiar click of the call ending. You let your arm drop, the back of your hand landing on the red stained floor underneath you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled tiredly, your body slumping against the counter beside you. “I’m sorry…Doctor.”

Death’s door had opened for you and his skeletal hand reached out to beckon you into his peaceful embrace, an embrace that promised that you wouldn’t feel this pain anymore. You weren’t going to fight it anymore, you held on long enough to say goodbye to the Doctor, your life was filled with adventure after meeting her and you wouldn’t have asked for anything else. You wouldn’t stop the smile that lifted your face, and this time you let your eyes fully close.

The Doctor on the other hand stared at her phone in puzzlement. Her hearts were telling her something was off. Everything screamed at her to go check up on you, even the Tardis whirred her own concern urging her pilot to go. The Doctor, at first, thought she was overreacting, of course everything was fine, you are fine. She didn’t want to be bothersome when it most likely nothing but…then again there was something about your call that didn’t sit well with her.

Something is wrong, something is wrong, something is wrong!

“I know!” the Doctor gave in, already rushing around the console room.

The Tardis had already set a course for your house, and she did not waste any time, not when your life may be on the line. As soon as she landed the Doctor ran out of the Time Machine, the Tardis just barely having enough time to open the doors for her.

The Doctor ran into your house, your front door was wide open which made her hearts drop into her stomach in fear. You never left your door open. Her boots thundered across the hardwood floor of your home as she shouted your name, trying to get you to reply to her. She hoped she was just overreacting and that you’ll come downstairs to greet her asking her what she was doing here, but you didn’t, the house remained still and silent while the Doctors voice echoed through empty halls.

Her voice died in her throat, her feet stopping dead in their tracks. She reached the kitchen, and there she found you. She felt tears in her eyes as she looked at your still body. You were lying limp against the counter beside you, your face was drained of all colour. Seemingly lifeless. Your arm laid across your stomach holding a cloth against you, your other hand holding the phone you used to call her. Your fingers were stained red.

Her hearts ached painfully in her chest when she looked at the large deep red puddle of blood that pooled under your body, and her eyes followed the red trail from the kitchen to the living room where the red had started.

“No, no, no,” the Doctor rushed to your side and pulled you into her arms.

She cradled your head against her and wrapped her arm around your shoulders to support you. She whispered your name a few times, her voice cracking but trying to be strong.

She tapped your leg to get a reaction from you, a noise, a twitch, something, but you didn’t even flinch. The Doctor urgently placed her fingers on your neck and held her breath, hoping for a pulse.

“Please,” she begged. “Please.”

A faint ba-bump under her hand made the Doctor release the breath she had been holding. It was weak and barely there, but she could feel your shallow breathing against her neck, and that was enough for the Doctor to know you were alive.

She scooped the rest of you into her arms, standing slowly and carefully, so she didn’t hurt you more. Your blood stained her clothes while she carried you to the Tardis, but she didn’t care, the only thing that mattered to the Doctor was saving your life. You were the only thing that was on her mind, and she refused to let you go. She ignored the Tardis’s whirrs of concern and worry as she assessed your condition.

The Doctor took you straight to the infirmary room and put you down on the medical bed. She whispered strings of apologies when you whimpered, the movement jostling you. It was the first sound you made since she found you, but you still remained unconscious.

The Doctor made quick work to tear your shirt off of you so she could see your injuries. It wasn’t hard for her to find the bullets wounds in your chest and stomach, both were still bleeding pretty badly, and her hearts ached again.

Why didn’t you tell her? She could have helped you! She banished the thought. She couldn’t be angry. She wouldn’t.

The bullet wounds didn’t have an exit point, and a quick scan confirmed the Doctor’s theory that the bullets were still inside you. She knew that if she was to save you, she’d have to do surgery. She had to stop you from going somewhere she couldn’t follow.

The Doctor left your side to gather her necessary tools and anesthetic. It would keep you sleeping, and hopefully you wouldn’t feel any more pain. You groaned, catching the Doctors attention. She had stepped away too soon, your eyes blinking open.

She was by your side in the blink of your eyes. The Doctor took note of how unfocused they were, your pupils barely dilating when she shined the light of her sonic over them. You had lost a lot of blood.

She placed her hand on your pale cheek, whispering your name. “Can you hear me?”

You blinked again, and the Doctor watched your face scrunch up as you tried to speak. Under different circumstances, she would’ve found the expression cute. “D-Doctor?”

“Hey,” she smiled, moving her hand up to brush your hair back. “How are you feeling?”

“You’re not here,” you said instead.

The Doctor was taken aback. How could you think that she wasn’t there with you? “What do you mean? I’m right here.”

You shook your head, the motion used up a lot of your remaining energy. “No, the Doctor is still in the Tardis far… far away.”

The Doctor knew you wouldn’t believe her no matter how often she told you that she was real. You were so delirious from blood loss it would be hard to convince you. Instead, she brought all her tools to your side and quickly got the anesthesia ready for you.

“What would you tell her if she was here?” the Doctor asked you.

You groaned in pain. “That ‘m sorry. Didn’t … didn’t want ‘er to worry a-about me.” You took in a shaky breath. “I-It hurts.” “I know,” the Doctor shushed you, running her hand through your hair. “I’m going to help you, okay?” The Doctor placed the mask over your mouth and nose. “Take as many deep breathes as you can manage.”

“Just let me go,” you whispered, voice muffled from the mask.

“Absolutely not,” the Doctor said. “Just take a breath and the next time you wake you’ll be better.”

You did as she told, taking in as much air as your lungs would allow. You noticed how you weren’t feeling as much pain as before. The fire that burned your skin was extinguishing, you could barely keep your eyes open.

“I’m scared,” you mumbled, your eyes blinking tiredly at the blonde angel above you.

The Doctor inhaled sharply. Her thumb gently brushing away a tear that you probably weren’t even aware was falling down your cheek.

“It’ll be okay,” she told you, watching as you finally succumbed to a deep long sleep. Hopefully, it was a sleep where you weren’t hurting, where you could forget about your injuries. If only for a moment.

The Doctor kept the mask over your face to keep you under until she was done the operation. She hovered her sonic over your body, finding the exact place where the bullets were. The one in your stomach didn’t appear to have caused any severe internal damages, but the other… the other was buried deep into your chest. It had nicked your heart and would move and damage more of you with every breath you took. She took note of your ever slowing heartbeat. The Doctor moved to grab her tools and she took a deep breath.

“You’ll be okay.”

And she started working. 

~~~ 

Hours went by until the Doctor finally allowed herself to rest when. Your vitals had finally stabilized. You were still unconscious on the bed, looking almost peaceful. If it wasn’t for your cold pale skin and bandage wrapped torso, one would think you were merely sleeping.

There were a few close calls where your heart had stopped, but she was able to bring you back every time. The Doctor watched your chest subtly move up and down with your breaths; her only reassurance that you were still alive, save for the rhythmic beeping that mimicked your heartbeat. Her own hearts clenched and skipped a beat of their own as she took in your old bloody clothes and the two bullets she had removed during surgery.

The Doctor sighed, cleaning the mess before leaving to quickly change her clothes. The blood, your blood, had already dried on her. It made her sick. She hadn’t been there to protect you.

Unable to handle the sight of stained red and brown on light blue, she threw off her coat, making short work of changing into cleaner clothes before she made her way back to your side. She had to be there for you now.

‘You were fine. You are fine.’

The Doctor brought a chair to your bedside and sat down. You weren’t out of the woods yet. The Doctor needed to know you were okay, that she was aware of your condition, make sure it didn’t drastically drop.

She carefully took your limp hand in hers and started to run her thumb over the back of your hand. Whether it was supposed to be a comfort for you or her, she wasn’t sure. “Please be okay,” she whispered.

You didn’t respond, of course you didn’t respond. How could you, you were lost in your body, and it was unknown when you would wake again.

The Doctor sighed and rested her head next to your arm, absentmindedly drawing patterns on the back of your hand. Perhaps she’d allow herself a few moments to rest her eyes. It didn’t take long for the faint beeping behind her to lull her into sleep.

The bed trembled, forcing the Doctors eyes open. She shook herself of her sleep haze and rushed to stand, checking what was wrong. Your body was shaking, jerking in violent motions. Your face was twisted in pain, marred by the blood coming out of the side of your mouth.

Your vitals were high, up to levels the Doctor thought not possible for a human. She tried to do a quick scan of you, but her sonic wasn’t working. She hit it against her palm, but only got a small spark of life before it died again. In a huff, she threw it to the side and tore the bandages off of you.

She froze.

The skin around your wounds were a deep purple and black in colour, it almost seemed to come out of the bullet wounds themselves. The Doctor had never seen anything like this before, it shouldn’t be happening, there should be no reason this was happening to you.

She ran around the infirmary looking for something, anything, to help you, to stop this from spreading further. A long, dull electronic note made her pause. She looked over at you, your body motionless in the bed.

The machine monitoring your heart had flat-lined.

“No, no, no!” the Doctor cried. “Come on!”

She ran over, trying CPR to get your heart beating again, to get you breathing. Why was this happening, this shouldn’t be happening! All this fancy tech and advanced medicines and she was losing you. She couldn’t lose you! What would she do without you? She had so many things she wanted to show you. Stupid, stupid Doctor! She should’ve been there with you; she could’ve stopped this! Her and her useless big brain and she couldn’t save you-

The Doctor jolted upright, and she tumbled out of her chair. Her eyes were cloudy and unfocused. Her hearts drummed loudly in her ears, almost drowning out the electronic beeping of the heartbeat monitor. The Doctors face scrunched up in confusion, why could she hear a heartbeat monitor?

The fog cleared in her mind - your heartbeat monitor! She stood on shaky legs, still half asleep, and looked at the machine. Its steady, monotonous rhythmic beeping calming her. She took a deep breath to slow her hammering hearts.

Her eyes moved from the machine to your still form, just able to see your chest slowly rising and falling with your breathing. The Doctor couldn’t help but reach out to place her hand right over your heart, feeling the weak thumping under her palm. It was small, but it was there, and it was getting better.

“Just a dream,” she said.

The Doctor ran a hand over her face, wiping away the lingering sleep and nightmare, and sighed. The nightmare left her shaken, her hand never leaving its place over your heart, helping calm hers down. She jumped when the Tardis hummed down at her.

“It’s okay,” she assured the Time Machine. “I need to find out what happened.”

With a final check on you she went to the console room. The Doctor pulled down levers and set the date for the same day, but hours before she got the call from you. The Tardis wheezed and trembled when she landed, but before the Doctor could run out the front doors again the monitor lit up.

“What?” the Doctor asked and going back to read it.

The words “Fixed Point” stared back at her and the Doctor felt like she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t stop you from being hurt. Couldn’t stop the pain you were feeling right now.

The Doctor was furious, not at you, never at you. No, she was furious at whoever it was that shot you, so furious she turned away from the monitor and marched out of the Tardis.

She was parked on the other side of the street, tucked away out of sight, but your house was the only thing the Doctor could see. She watched past you stand on your front step and lock the door, before leaving to go visit your family. It was hard for the Doctor to watch you walk down the street, completely unaware of what was waiting for you when you came back.

It was hard too for the Doctor to not go warn you, to tell you not to go home, to do anything to keep you from your fate. But she couldn’t, she couldn’t do anything, and it was the worst pain she had ever felt.

She didn’t know how long it was that she waited there waiting for something to happen, and it wasn’t until that the sun had begun to set that she noticed a boy, he looked to be in his teens, trying to make his way up the steps of your house and fiddle with the lock.

Rage began to build inside the Doctor when she realized that this is who shot you, and she very nearly went to confront him - but she was stopped in place.

Fixed point, fixed point, fixed point.

Her jaw clenched and her feet stayed glued to the concrete below watching the kid sneak into your home. It was maybe an hour or so before she saw you walking back. You seemed less energetic than when she saw you leave, your feet dragging behind you.

You glanced at your house with a look of unfamiliarity in your eye, like you didn’t want to go back in. She watched you walk up the steps, and oh so badly wanted to run over and stop you from going in. When you disappeared inside the house the Doctor waited … And waited … And waited, until-

Bang!

The Doctor trembled in anger. She hated this, but she had to know. Her feet were glued to the ground despite her attempts to lean forward to run in and stop this.

Bang!

The second one. The worst one. All time seemed to have stopped after that second shot. She watched as the shooter ran out of your house in a panic, leaving your front door open, and you inside. The Doctor couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t handle knowing that currently in the past you were laying in your house bleeding and dying and alone.

She forced herself to turn around and go back into the Tardis, where present you was injured and unconscious, but alive. When the Tardis doors shut behind her the Doctor collapsed on the floor, her mind replaying the scene over and over again. It felt like her hearts broke and died with both shots that nearly took you from her. 

~~~ You groaned as your consciousness came back to you. You felt numb, and every movement ached and protested. You tried shifting around to ease the tension in your body, but a pained gasp left you, your back arching in an attempt to get away from the fire that threatened to burn through you.

You didn’t hear the door sliding open, or the heavy footfalls that followed, your ears feeling as if someone had them covered.

You couldn’t take it anymore. You needed the burning to stop. You scratched at the burning, at the material on you. Get it off, get it off, get it off.

Your hands met something wet, but you didn’t stop. It hurt so much. A call of your name, or what you think was your name, barely broke through the muffled space.

Suddenly, hands grabbed your wrists, moving you away from where you were scratching. You thrashed in their hold, but they remained strong and unmoving. You sobbed as the burn turned into a roaring fire. The hands wrapped around your wrist never loosened, pinning yours to your sides. You squirmed, thrashed, bucked to be released.

“Hey, hey, hey!” a shadow loomed over you, completely blocking the harsh light above you. Blonde hair lightly brushed over your cheek. “Shh, shh, easy!”

Tears streamed down your face, the fire burning worse and worse. “Make it stop!”

“I know,” the shadow said. “I know it hurts, but you’re healing.”

The Doctor moved both your wrists to one of her hands so she could wipe your tears away and check the bandage. You had done some damage to the wrapping, and it had started to stain red.

The Doctor had to remind herself to keep calm. If she wasn’t then you could hurt yourself trying to get away. The Doctor had hoped that you would stay sleeping while the nanobots did their thing healing you.

Normally, the process wouldn’t really hurt, but it could cause some forms of irritation. In your case, since you were literally being stitched together from the inside out, it caused that severe burning.

“Just calm down,” she soothed. “Listen to my voice. You’re okay. I know it hurts right now but I promise that it will pass.”

You whimpered in response, still trying to tug your arms free, but you were too weak to make any real effort.

“I can get you something for the pain, but you can’t claw at it anymore, okay?” She asked.

You gazed up at the shadow again, it felt familiar to you, so you nodded, feeling like you could trust it. The Doctor released your hands, watching you to make sure that you didn’t try to tear at it again, and reached into the drawer nearby to pull out an injector. She showed it to you.

“Do you trust me?” she asked.

You nodded almost immediately. Of course, you trusted the Doctor, even if you didn’t know that the shadow person in front of you was the Doctor. “Yes.”

The Doctor nodded and placed the injector to the side of your neck and squeezed. It was something close to nanogenes, but instead of healing you instantly like she wanted, they worked to stitch you up from the inside out, especially so close to your heart to make sure you didn’t unexpectedly go into cardiac arrest.

Your head twitched at the pinch you felt, but when you tried to ask you what it was you, your tiredness took hold. You whined; you didn’t want to sleep again.

“I know,” the Doctor started to say. “You’ll feel better soon.”

With your bandages redone and you softly resting, the Doctors attention drifted down to your hands. Your fingers were red, your blood slowly matting and dry, into your palms. It was no doubt uncomfortable on your skin, and the sight pulled at the Doctors hearts in the most uncomfortable way.

The Doctor grabbed a wet washcloth and carefully cleaned your hands. Her mind drifted away as she did her task. She couldn’t stop the sob that left her, and the cloth dropped to the floor. She brought her head down so she could press your hand to her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry.”

It was hours until you woke up again, groggy and disoriented. You couldn’t recall where you were and what happened. You felt stiff and groaned when a muscle in your leg pulled when you tried to stretch.

A warmth in your hand drew your attention. Familiar blonde hair and a light blue coat sat in a chair beside you, her hand, occasionally twitching, in yours

“D-Doctor?”

The Doctors head jerked up and met your hazy eyes. You could still feel the effects of the pain medication.

“Hey,” she whispered and gave your hand a squeeze. Her hearts skipped a beat when you gave a weak squeeze in return. “How are you feeling?”

You hummed and your head rolled to the side so you could look at the Doctor. “Am I dead?”

The Doctor shook her head, her eyes holding her uncontained sadness. “Of course not. You’re here on the Tardis with me.”

You frowned at that, trying to pull your thoughts together, but couldn’t think through the fog clouding your mind. Instead, you tried to sit up, but the Doctors hands grabbed your shoulders to gently push you back down on the bed.

“No, no,” she told you. “Don’t try to get up yet, you haven’t healed completely.”

“How am I … here?” you asked.

The Doctor sighed. “How much do you remember? Do you remember calling me?”

You tried to think. You remembered coming home and that someone was in your house and … oh.

A loud bang echoed through your memories and you jumped, suddenly sitting up and backing away from the Doctors hands, nearly falling off the bed. Your hand went to your chest where the second bullet had hit you. You could feel the slight indent under the bandage, and your breath left you.

“I-I-I,” you gasped, struggling to breathe.

“Shh, shh,” the Doctor soothed. “It’s okay, you’re okay.” She gently grabbed your hand and pulled it away from your chest, worried that you might start hurting yourself again, and laced your fingers together.

“T-There was a … g-gun,” you tried to get out.

The Doctor nodded. “You were shot, and you called me after.”

“T-The blood wouldn’t s-stop.”

A squeeze from the Doctors hand. “I knew something wasn’t right and I went to see you. When I found you, you were…” she trailed off, a sad pained look in her eyes. “I brought you back to the Tardis.”

“I didn’t … I’m … I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Doctor, I didn’t…”

You couldn’t get it out. You couldn’t tell her how sorry you were that you were dying and that you wouldn’t tell her, how sorry you were that she had to find you as you were. She probably hates you now, hates that she had to waste her time bringing you back.

The Doctor didn’t say anything, just tugged gently on your hand until you had no choice but to shift closer to her and lean against her side. Your wounds protested with the movement, and you inhaled sharply. You hated this, this feeling of helplessness.

The Doctor carefully wrapped her arm around your shoulder to better support you, her other hand still held yours. You could feel her double heartbeats under you.

“I’m not mad,” she told you.

You looked up from you intertwined hands in shock. Her words confused you. How she knew what you were thinking, and how could she not be mad at you? “H-how?”

“You’re very easy to read,” she told you, running her thumb over your wrist. She could feel your still weak beating heart. “You mean so much to me, I was so scared when I found you.”

You couldn’t stop the tears at her words, you didn’t know which situation would be worse; the Doctor being mad, or the Doctor forgiving you so fast.

“I’m sorry,” you cried into her shoulder.

The Doctor shushed you, whispering gentle nothings in your ear until you calmed. You stayed in the Doctors embrace until your tears dried and both of you were just leaning into each other, taking in each other’s presence. You were still in pain, and the Doctor gave you another injection when she noticed.

“Are you getting tired?” the Doctor asked you.

She noticed that you were starting to nod off against her shoulder after a few hours. She couldn’t help the small smile on her face, her hearts giving a strong thump the longer she looked at you. You were alive!

“Just a little,” you admitted, sighing and relaxing fully into the Doctors body. “I think the pain meds are kicking in again.” “You should get some more sleep,” she told you, and untangled herself to help you lay back down. “Here. Slow, slow.”

You grunted, your wound flaring, and sighed when you head met the soft pillow under you. The Doctor pulled the blanket up over you and told you that she was just going to do some Tardis maintenance and if you needed her to give her a shout. She was just about to leave when you thought of a memory.

Call me whenever you need.

You grabbed the sleeve of her coat. The Doctor paused, turning to see your frightened eyes.

“Stay,” you said before she could ask what was wrong. “Please, stay.”

The Doctor nodded, moving to go sit back in the chair that she had been occupying during your recovery, but another tug of her sleeve stopped her.

“No,” you said again. You moved to the side of the bed, giving another tug. “Here. Please.” The Doctor’s hearts picked up. You wanted her to lay in the same bed as you. “I don’t want-”

“You won’t,” you cut her off.

The Doctor allowed herself to be pulled back towards the bed. She shrugged off her coat, tossing it onto the chair before sliding into the bed. When the Doctor settled under the blanket with you, you shifted and squirmed so you could lay on your side, facing the Doctor without kicking her or hurting yourself more.

“You should lay on your back,” the Doctor started to say. “It would be more comfortable for you.”

“Ever the Doctor,” you mumbled, shaking your head. “I’m okay, I just want to lay like this for a bit.”

The Doctor didn’t say anything after that, and she turned herself over so the both of you were facing each other. It wasn’t until this moment that you saw how tired the Doctor looked. There were dark circles under her eyes, the whites tinted pink. Either from sleep deprivation, crying, or both, you weren’t sure.

You reached your hand out and ran a finger down her cheek. The Doctor closed her eyes under your touch and sighed, and she seemed to fully relax and sag into the pillow.

She took your hand and held it tight - as if afraid that if she let go you would disappear, and brought your clasped hands close. She placed a kiss on the palm of your hand before settling into a restful sleep.

Your face warmed at her actions, the skin on your hand tingled from her kiss. You tried to ignore it and closed your eyes to sleep, held the Doctors just a little bit tighter.

When you woke up the next morning you were surprised to see that the Doctor was still sleeping in your bed. You had honestly expected her to be already up and doing whatever it is that she does, so you guessed that she probably hadn’t been sleeping while you were unconscious. It was a rare sight to see the Doctor sleeping anyway. She was always claiming that Time Lords didn’t need as much sleep as humans, and you wanted to take this in while you still could.

The Doctors eyes opened not long after you woke, and you were mesmerized by the colour. You never really took too much notice of them - you knew what colour they were, but now being as close as you were, you were finally able to see the colours hidden underneath.

They weren’t just hazel. You could really see the mix of green and brown, and, surprisingly, little gold flakes that seemed to dance across her eyes. They almost reminded you of space and stars. You looked away before you would get lost in those colours, your face growing warm.

“Morning,” she said to you. “How are you feeling?”

You lifted your hand to where you knew the entry wound was, only to find it nearly smooth. “Better,” you told her. “It’s still sore, but good.”

“Good.” The Doctor got up from the bed and threw her coat back on. “I don’t want you doing anything to strain yourself. So, no adventures until you are 100%, alright?”

You mock saluted. “Yes ma’am.”

The Doctor took one of your hands, placing the other against the middle of your back, and helped you sit up. “Still okay?” You nodded, taking a sharp inhale when you felt a pinch of pain. When your feet touched the ground you sighed in relief, glad to no longer be laying down, but your joints ached and protested from disuse.

“You want to try standing and walking?”

“Yes please,” you said.

“Okay, just take it slow,” the Doctor told you.

Still with the Doctors help you slowly got to your feet. A sudden wave of dizziness hit you and your eyes blurred over, your knees giving out. Luckily, the Doctor was quick to catch you. Her arms wrapped around you, and she held you close.

“Hey, hey! Are you okay?”

You groaned and pressed your head into her arm to try to stop the pounding headache behind your eyes. “Yes, sorry. Just got dizzy for a minute.”

“You lost quite a bit of blood when … you know, so you’ll most likely have some dizzy spells for a bit. Do you want to try again?”

You blinked rapidly to get rid of the blur and nodded. “Yeah.”

You were suddenly very aware of how close the Doctor was to you - how warm she was. You cleared your throat awkwardly and stood up, with the Doctors help, and only wavered once before getting your footing.

“Good!” the Doctor praised, and you blushed.

“Can you help me to my room?” you asked. “I’d like to change,” you gestured to the hospital gown you had been wearing probably since the Doctor brought you to the infirmary.

“Oh, yes, of course!”

With slow careful steps, and the Tardis’s help of bringing your room closer, you and the Doctor reached your destination. “I’ll just wait out here for you.”

You nodded and shuffled your way inside. Your room was exactly how you left it, and you felt much better in this room than you did in your own house. There was a certain warmth to it that you couldn’t explain.

It would probably be better to wear something lose and easy to slip on, you thought, so you found a large hoodie and sweatpants to wear. You couldn’t help but look in the mirror at the damage. The bandaging was wrapped tightly around you, dried blood spots painted on.

Your face was pale and cold to the touch. You quite honestly looked like death, on the verge of life. You sighed and turned away from the mirror, unable to look at your reflection any longer, and shuffled back over to where the Doctor was. You wondered if she thought the same, that you nearly looked like a walking corpse, and your shoulders sagged at the thought.

“All good?” she asked when you came out. You nodded. “I bet you’re hungry,” she continued. “Let’s get you something.”

The rest of the day went by uneventfully. You were starting to feel stronger, and didn’t have many more dizzy spells. You could even walk without dragging your feet. Sometimes though, if you breathed too hard you would double over into a coughing fit, sharp pain attacking you.

The Doctor remained by your side the entire time, always there to catch you, to help you get your strength back. When you grew tired the Doctor allowed you go to sleep in your own bed, which you nearly cheered in joy for. You longed for your own comfortable mattress and not the thin stiff bed in the infirmary. Your back would thank you.

It almost felt weird though; sleeping in your own bed after however long it was that you stayed in the infirmary. When the Doctor walked you back to your room, she removed your bandage to see your progress, and you were surprised to see it completely healed. Only a faint scar remained, even though it had been just a few days since the incident.

“The scar will disappear soon,” the Doctor told you. “Then it’ll be like it never happened.”

“But it did,” you said.

The Doctors eyes turned sad, and she placed her hand on the side of your head, her thumb running over your temple. “The mind heals at a different pace. Try to fix it too fast and it crumples, but we’ll get through it, yeah?”

After that you and the Doctor hung around the Tardis for the day, she didn’t want to take you somewhere potentially dangerous and have something happen to you again, so you spent the day reading in the library or going to the surprise garden filled with many different kinds of flowers, both human and alien alike. They were beautiful and you made a note to come back to this spot, you found that there was something soothing about the garden.

When you noticed the “sun” starting to dim you made the walk to your room, saying goodnight to the Doctor with a yawn as you passed. Now, here you were. You laid on your back, staring up at the dark ceiling, and were wide awake. Your chest began to ache, your mind wandering to the incident. You rubbed your hand where the bullet once was.

Phantom pain you think it was called.

You scowled and threw the blanket over to try to go to sleep, you didn’t want to think about it anymore

That didn’t stop you dreaming it, however.

You were back in your house. The shooter held you at gunpoint, but it was different. He was more aggressive than you remembered, or maybe it was always like this.

“Please don’t,” you begged.

He didn’t say anything, just pulled the trigger. That familiar burn coursed in your chest. You fell to your knees gasping. Looking down, you watched your blood dye your shirt that terrible red colour. The shooter was now standing above you, his gun aimed right at your head. He never spoke before, that much you remembered, but when he opened his mouth to speak, icy cold fear ran through your veins.

“No one to save you now.”

He pulled the trigger.

You awoke with a scream, only seeing that terrible nightmare. Your chest tightened painfully, and you gasped for breath. Your door opened, but you didn’t notice it, barely feeling as the mattress dipped beside you.

“Hey, hey,” hands cupped your face. “You’re okay. It’s okay.”

You struggled to get your breath back, instead trying to focus on something, anything, to make you forget your dream. Looking up through your tears, you saw the blurry shape of the Doctor, her thumbs wiping at your cheeks.

“You’re okay,” she said, her voice soft. “Just breathe, ready? In,” you tried your best to inhale along with the Doctor, but only managed broken sobs. “And out.”

It took a few times, and you weren’t sure how long it had been or what time it was. By the end you were finally able to calm down enough to breathe with the Doctor, only hiccupping every once in a while.

“Sorry,” you apologized, your voice weak as you pulled away from the Doctors hands. You already missed the contact. “Sorry if I woke you.”

The Doctor’s hands slowly dropped into her lap. “It’s okay, I wasn’t sleeping anyway.”

She wouldn’t admit why she wasn’t sleeping, wouldn’t tell you that she couldn’t after her own nightmare the day before.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

You looked up at her eyes, yours flickering between them. Your breath threatened to leave you again.

“How do I know…” you trailed off, now sounding unsure.

The Doctor tilted her head. “How do you know what? I can’t answer if I don’t know.”

You were quiet for a moment, then asked in a quiet voice. “How do I know that I’m not really dead?”

She didn’t reply after that. Maybe she didn’t know the answer, maybe you did die, and this was your afterlife. It wasn’t a bad one, you had to admit, to be stuck on the Tardis with the Doctor. You jumped when the Doctors hands cupped your face again, but this time she leaned in, and you sighed when the Doctors lips pressed lightly against yours.

“How did that prove anything?” you teased when you parted from the Doctor.

She laughed and leaned forward so your foreheads were touching. “Guess you’ll have to just take my word for it.”

You hummed. “Well, dead or alive, this isn’t a bad place to be.”

“Come with me,” the Doctor suddenly said pulling away and standing up from the bed, her hand outstretched for you to grab. You grabbed her hand and she pulled out from the bed and out of your room. The floor of the Tardis was cold under your feet as you followed the Doctor down the halls, but you didn’t mind. She led you to the front doors of the Tardis and opened them. The stars shone in the distance.

“Figured you’d like to take your mind off everything,” she told you.

She pulled you to sit down beside her and you both sat with your legs swinging out of the Tardis.

“I think this is the one view I’ll never get tired of,” you admitted, a smiling lifting on your face.

The Doctor hummed in agreement, but she wasn’t looking outside like you were, her eyes were on you. She watched as the various blues and purples lit up your face and brightened your eyes. It took the Doctors breath away. Neither of you were sure how long the both of you stayed there, but you didn’t really care very much. You simply enjoyed the view and the company the Doctor provided.

“Thank you,” you said.

“For what?” she asked.

“For helping me,” you replied turning your attention to look at her. “For saving me. For just being you.”

“Of course,” the Doctor smiled.

You stayed out there for a little bit longer until you had to try to hide a yawn.

“Let’s get you back to bed, yeah?” the Doctor suggested.

You groaned and took the Doctors hand again so she could help you stand up. Your fingers interlaced and you walked side by side until you found yourself sitting on your bed again. The Doctor was about to leave when you called her name making her pause by the door.

“Can you stay with me again?” you asked her.

The Doctor was surprised. You wanted her to stay the night with you again?

“I just…” you started to fidget with your blanket. “You … you make me feel … safe. You help me forget, if it’s only for a moment, chasing away the bad memories.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

And like the night before, the Doctor shrugged off her coat, slipped off her boots, and crawled under the covers. You had already moved to the other side of the bed, giving her more room, and you laid on your side like you did before to just look at the Doctor.

“What is it?” she asked, laying down to mirror you.

You shook you head. “It’s nothing.”

“We’ll get you through this, okay?”

You nodded, although part of you wasn’t so sure.

“The nightmares are just a bump in the road, they won’t be there forever,” she continued to say.

“And if they are?”

The Doctor reached over to brush your hair behind your ear. “Then you’ll learn to overcome them.”

You grabbed the Doctors hand and, much like she had the night before, pressed a kiss to her hand and nestling closer to her, your head tucked under her chin and her arms held you close promising to protect you from any nightmares that came to haunt you.

“Goodnight, Doctor,” you said softly.

“Goodnight,” she whispered. 

~~~ 

“You cleaned.”

You had asked the Doctor to take you back to your house, back to where you were hurt. She insisted on coming with you this time and you agreed, you wouldn’t be able to go back inside by yourself.

“I couldn’t leave it how it was,” the Doctor replied.

You wandered into the room where you first found the shooter, the room had been absolutely destroyed; drawers flung open, items thrown across the floor, but you were shocked to see it was like nothing ever happened. Even the blood seemed to disappear. Your chest tightened when you remembered how much blood was on the floor, the red trail and the puddle that sat underneath you. So much red. You could still feel the phantom pain of the bullets hitting you, burning you, consuming you.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

You vision was blocked by light blue and all you could feel, hear, and smell was the Doctor. You grasped the Doctors coat in a tight shaking fist.

“Sorry,” you spoke into her shirt.

“It’s okay,” she said. “Do you want to go outside?”

You nodded and let yourself be guided outside, near the comforting presence of the Tardis.

“I can’t…” you started to say.

“You don’t have to,” the Doctor told you.

“Can I just … Can I stay on the Tardis with you? I don’t think I can go back to that house yet,” you asked, a hopeful look in your eyes.

“Of course,” she assured you. “I told you that we’d get through this together, and if you don’t feel safe in your house right now then we’ll try again when you feel ready, yeah?”

You nodded, tearing up. “Thank you.”

“Of course, love.” 

~~~ 

It took a few weeks. You spent the entire time on the Tardis with the Doctor, spending time with her and going on very small trips. Alien hot springs, festivals - very small fun things, and you loved every bit of it. You couldn’t help but tease the Doctor on how she actually could find things to take you to that didn’t involve running for your life.

“It’s not all me,” she would protest, almost offended at what you were saying. “It’s the Tardis! She just ignores what I want to do!”

“Sure, Doctor,” you laughed. “Sure.”

Nearly a month later, you told the Doctor you wanted to go back to Earth. You wanted to see your family again, and the Doctor felt slightly reluctant to let you go. She knew that you would eventually want to go back.

“I just want to spend the day with them,” you told her.

When the doors closed behind you the Doctor was suddenly very aware of how empty, and how big the Tardis actually was. She felt very … alone. The Tardis hummed down at her Pilot, reassuring her that you would be back.

“I know,” the Doctor said to the empty space.

The Doctor decided to do some console “repairs,” keeping herself occupied, even though she knew they were completely unnecessary. She laid underneath the console, pulling out wires and leaving a huge mess on the floor.

She continued this for a few hours, pausing when her phone started ringing on top of the console. The Doctor’s mind went back to the incident. She hesitated to pick it up, almost fearing for what was waiting for her on the other side. She slid from underneath the console, wiping the grease from her hands, and picked up her phone. She took a deep breath, answered in the middle of the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Doctor,” your voice greeted her.

“This better not be another goodbye call,” she threatened.

You laughed through the speaker. “Definitely not dying this time, I promise.”

“Good, great even! Because once was enough.”

You smiled even though you knew that the Doctor couldn’t see you. “I’m just letting you know that I’m on my way back.” The Doctor pulled the phone away from her ear to see that it was well into the evening, the entire day had passed. She put the phone back to her ear, looking at the mess she created. Wires and tools littered the ground, and she could have sworn she heard the Tardis laugh at her predicament.

“Fantastic! Wonderful! I’ll, uh, I’ll see you soon,” she trailed off in thought. How was she going to clean all this up?

“You’ve made a mess of the Tardis, haven’t you?”

“No, of course not!” she defended.

“Mhm,” you hummed. “You’d think a time travel spaceship would be able to repair herself if she needed to.”

Before the Doctor could reply the Tardis whirred and beeped an “I told you so!”

“Hey, no!” she told the machine. “Don’t take their side!”

You laughed at the argument. “Well, I’ll see you soon. Bye!”

The Doctor pocketed the phone after she gave her own bye. She glared at the time machine, who beeped innocently. “Don’t even start.” She warned. “Just help me put you back together.”

It didn’t take you very long to get back to that familiar blue box, feeling more at home the closer you got.

“Hey, girl,” you greeted. “Hope that Doctor wasn’t too much trouble.”

The Tardis opened the door for you in a “come on in and see.” You walked in, your jaw falling at the sight you saw. Wires and cables littered the floor. The Doctor sat in the middle of it, struggling to pull it all back.

“What did you do?” you laughed.

The Doctor jumped at your voice, dropping all that she had in her arms. “Oh! Me? Nothing! Well, I was doing some small repair and I tried to clean it all up, but someone…” She glared at the console. “Decided to be difficult.”

The Tardis let out a series of irritated beeps and a panel on the wall behind the Doctor suddenly dropped to the ground.

“Oi!!”

You couldn’t stop your laughter. You tried to hide it behind your hand, but the Doctor heard you and threw you a glare as well. There was no real irritation or anger behind it, but still, you cleared your throat and held your hands up to show you weren’t laughing at her. You were barely able to keep your smile down.

“Sorry,” you said. “Please, continue your little fight with the Tardis.”

The Doctor groaned, gathering the cables back into her arms and dragging it over.

“You want some help?” you offered.

“No, I’m fine” she dismissed.

“You sure?” you asked again, voice filled with amusement.

Before she could answer, the Doctor stepped on a tool. Her balance faltered, and the wires fell from her grasp. “Alright, fine.” Your smile grew as you walked up the steps to the console before running a hand over it.

You spoke to the Tardis. “Can you put yourself back together for us, girl?”

You received a warm hum in return as the console room started to fix itself. The panel that fell returned to its spot on the wall, the wires reattached themselves, and the cables snaked back under the console. The room looked as good as new.

“It pays to be the Tardis’s favourite, I think,” you winked at the wide-eyed Doctor.

The Doctor shook herself. “You’re not supposed to pick favourites!” she scolded the Tardis.

You laughed again and watched the Doctor move up to the console, turning her back to you and twisting her coat around her.

“So,” she clapped her hands together. “Where would you like to go today?”

Where would you like to go? A memory came to you, words of place you never thought you would be able to see. You smiled at her. “Soft beaches and waterfall clouds.”

The Doctor smiled back at you, her expression understanding. “Soft beaches it is!” You watched fondly as the Doctor moved about the console, flipping switches and levers until she stopped by the main lever and looked over at you.

“Together?” she gestured her to lever.

You grinned and ran up beside the Doctor, placing your hand on top of hers. “Together.”

#13th doctor x reader #thirteenth doctor imagine #thirteenth doctor x reader #13th Doctor #i am not good at this #lmaooo

[why-are-all-the-users-taken]

one shot based on my other post abt Jason being able to not eat a lot for long periods of time bc of his time with lupa and the wolves :)

Takes place on the Argo II btw

As usual,jason only took a small amount of food. Only this time it didn't really do as unnoticed like it normally did.

"Y'know you can eat more, we have a fridge that refills its self!" Leo said to Jason while shoving mash potatoes in his mouth.

Jason just shrugged. "I just get fill easy, " he mumbled.

Annabeth looked up, slightly concerned. "You sure? There's always more. "

"Yeah!" Percy exclaimed, his mouth full of blue pancake.

Jason hated the attention he was suddenly getting. "I'm fine," he said flatly hoping that they would drop it.

He didn't really want to tell them that his mom abandoned him when he was 2 and that wolves raised him.

But of course, because that's what he didn't want to happen, that's exactly what happened.

"Who we're you raised by that they didn't let you eat a full meal?" Percy asked, squinting at Jason as if trying to get a read on him.

"Didnt you're mom raise you? " Piper asked.

jason looked down at his plate, a small, bitter chuckle escaping his lips. Of course he was going to have to tell them the thing he most didn't want to share.

"My mother abandoned me in a forest as basically a offering to Juno, after that wolves raised me," Jason deadpanned.

The whole table was quiet for a moment.

Until all Hades broke lose.

"You were raised by wolves?"

"How did you survive?!"

"Wait you were raised by lupa weren't you?"

And more shouts and questions that got shouted out. But the loudest was annabeth.

She banged the table so hard that her water glass fell. "You're mother did what? "

jason flinched back, all of the yelling had rattled him, and he had to take a moment to gather what has happening.

Annabeth got up and started pacing while she ranted. "I mean I knew she was bad, Thalia ran away from her, but I didn't know she was that bad! "

Jason looked down at his hands that were now shaking. "Sorry" he mumbled. He hated all the yelling. It reminded him of a very distant memory of his mom screaming at him and Thalia when she got drunk.

Annabeth stopped pacing and looked at him quizzically. "What are you sorry for? It's us who should be sorry, we were yelling."

The others suddenly looked a bit sheepish for yelling.

jason had no clue how to react to all of this. "Oh." Was all he could mange to say.

Leo frowned. "What does being raised by wolves have to do with-" he cut him self off as realization hit him. "Did they don't give u enough to eat?"

Jason was trembling like a leaf on a windy day. "I don't- I can't- it was a while ago- i-" he stuttered, his face burning.

Hazels (lmao forgot abt my girl for a second there) face dawned with understanding. "Is that why you didn't eat much at Camp Jupiter too? You've just gotten into the habit of not eating a lot? "

Jason shrugged numbly (pls im cringying while writing this is), he was still embarrassed.

Frank (oop I forgot abt him too) frowned. "Well we'll have to help you break that habit then!"

The others mumbled in agreement and Jason smiled the slightest bit. He knew ig probably wouldn't work, he'd tried to break the habit a while ago but he was thankful that he had such great friends.

#Yes I'm writing one shots abt him to cope with his death what of it? #YES I KNOW THIS TOOK FOREVER THATS NOT THE POINT I TOTALLY DIDN'T FORGET ABT THIS- #Jason Grace #So ya this is probably rlly bad lmao #Enjoy ig

[simlit]

[ Age of Arcanai ]

 xlii. The white marble spires burned in fantastic fire, and all around him was the miserable song of war. So then, he thought, he had done what he had set out to do. He had doused that world in flame and all his failure and all his joy burned up within it. For a fleeting moment, he recalled the bright skies above Lyra; The soft, cottonbud clouds painted over the sea and the crystalline waters stretched far into the horizon. He wondered, only absently, what it might have been like had he remained there.

“Remember this moment, King of Elves,” he said with his eclipsing breath. “Remember what love has brought you. Never you forget how it felt to wield it.”

[ read ]  

sorry this took so long (and I have been MIA in general again oops) but prose is back, and with a new and exciting format! (okay not really but it's exciting to me lmao). also have a CotS post in an hour so look at me being very ~active~

#prose writing

[hideyseek]

okay well i was doing something else (liveblogging me watching guardian episode 23) and i started writing a post that "quoted" the show, then second-guessed my translation, and then spent literally two hours thinking about how to translate the preceding sentence. oops. this post is so long but also was SO fun.

ok so the full ... thing that zhao yunlan says is: 他这个人呀，个性太深沉. 喜欢哑巴吃黄连. 所以我只能等着了, 等到他苦到心头, 苦到他自己说出来为止. i'm only actually translating the first sentence, bc it took me like two hours and i need to go to bed. that first sentence is: 他这个人呀，个性太深沉. the 他 (he) in this sentence refers to shen wei.

uh. direct translation (literal translation? idk what this is called) would be something like: he, this person, personality too [adjective]. just to give some sense of structure, bc i have translation opinions about this later.

first off, this adjective. 沈沉 (shen1 chen2) means both "deep, profound" and "undemonstrative, reserved", according to pleco. i'm willing to bet that the line is meant to describe shen wei with both meanings. my best translation includes the word "fathom". "hard to fathom" or "fathomless" — i think that leans toward both the "depth" part and the lack of knowing/understanding, though describing someone as "fathomless" conveys the distance of "reserved" from the other direction: a distance to breach rather than a distance created. i'll accept this only because zhao yunlan, rather than shen wei, is the one speaking (well also becaue there is not another english word i know that can do this lol.) also, the bit i'm most thrilled about with this word choice: both characters (沈沉) in the original phrase have the water radical, and 沉 used as a verb means "to sink" (as an adjective it means "heavy"). historically (but modern-day in usa english only apparently), a fathom is a unit (equal to 6 feet) used to measure water depth, which pleasantly mirrors the deep water that the original phrase invokes to me.

and then the matter of preserving the cadence of the original line. lol. lmao, even. in my mind, part of what i'm valuing as a translator is giving an actor the same amount of time to work with when speaking. does this matter to other people? probably not. if this was written down i would probably value something else. but i'm the one writing the world's longest post about this, and bai yu said it, so.

initially i thought something like: "he's— he's too fathomless a person." the added dash because i couldn't think of another way to give the reader or actor the space of "这个人呀", which directly translated is like "this person" and here in the line i think is just a way to lend emphasis to "他" (he). but the dash could also force an actor into playing hesitation on the line when it's not originally present -- the way bai yu says this, it comes across meandering/pondering. (screams)

ok fast forwarding to after i chewed on this stick for way too long, bc it got late and i wasn't that structured about thinking about it anymore. it became a sort of "brute force it and then identify what i dislike about this translation and try to fix it." i'm going with: "he's such a fathomless person, that guy." (admittedly, this is without translating the other sentences of this bit that zhao yunlan is saying. in full context / going into the next sentence i might tweak it later.) analysis (justification? lol) follows:

the addition of "that guy" emphasizes the "he" of the first phrase and lengthens the whole line without making it more formal (more difficult than i expected!) in a way that mirrors the "这个人呀" of the original line. this is the "giving an actor enough words to work with" thing. just "he's such a fathomless person" is much more direct than the original line. but with this translation, there is an added distance between the speaker and the object of the sentence. in the original line, zhao yunlan says "这个人", meaning literally "this person", but in the sentence i feel like it's being used as more like, "this example" ("he", shen wei). either way, to me there's a nearbyness/presence conveyed. but it didn't feel right to maintain the use of "this" when shen wei isn't in the room (actually i have no idea if he is even in the building), and also in english when speaking generally about a person, i feel like it's more ... fluid(??) to say "that guy" than "this guy" (though truthfully writing this post has made me doubt my grasp of english about seven times so i'm really not so sure anymore). anyway, the point is, i compromised with "that guy".

we also lose the directness of zhao yunlan commenting specifically on shen wei's character/personality, since the original line is phrased as, "his personality/character is too [adjective]", but i'm satisfied with how much of that idea is retained with this translation. i also don't want to prioritize including the word "personality" over mirroring the cadence of the translation (when this would also cost us the secondary meaning of "character"). and, when including an extra word to capture this meaning (ie, the word "personality"), i couldn't figure out a way to juggle both the "too/overmuch" meaning of 太 and the natural-sounding two-part structure to the original line. "his personality is too/so fathomless" / "he's too fathomless a person" both don't sound quite right to me, but "he's too hard to fathom" emphasizes this idea of difficulty/prior attempt that both isn't present in the original line and doesn't really feel in character for zhao yunlan at this point. by now shen wei has already described zhao yunlan as the one person who has attempted to/partially succeeded in understanding him.

i wanted a third pros/cons paragraph bc two felt like too few but i think that was already my entire rant about "fathom" above. the third pro is: this translation achieved ... basic translation, lol. it conveys roughly the same meaning as the spoken lines and as far as i can tell (not far) is roughly the same level of casual/formal-ness. it doesn't include any additional metaphors or similes not present in the original.

ok that's all lol. goodnight ✌️

#nobody be mean to me please i'm so so new to this #is this readable to someone who doesnt read chinese??? #i wasnt sure where to include pinyin like does it matter to you in this case at all #also sorry i couldnt remember how to quote in chinese? i feel like it looks like L but i couldnt ... find on my keyboard? #so gave up and used quotes #guardian #hidey watches guardian #translation tag #hidey speaks #oh its actually been three hours now. good lord #hidey translates #hidey translates guardian

[elliesbelle]

belle what the fuck happened??? are you okay???

long story short (prob won’t be short, knowing me oops):

tw: drug overdose, suicide, hospitalization mentions

work has been one of the biggest stressors in my life lately. i’ve been getting relentlessly harassed and bullied by a coworker (and my boss has done very little in regards to it), and something happened the other day with an extremely cruel parent of one of my kids, and it triggered something in me.

i was already having a difficult time the night before in regards to my ex (had a late night arguing with him and there were many countless unkind words said about me and the kind of person i am), and i was already in an incredibly bad place, so the work thing just pushed me to the edge. so i left work early, purchased a lot of cold medicine, went home, and took it all on top of sleeping pills and other stuff i can’t remember. said goodbye to my loved ones before i eventually went to sleep.

after that, a lot of it was a blur, so what i’m relaying right now is either from the few times i was lucid or from what other people have recalled to me.

live-in ex had been driving around trying to find me after my friends at work alerted her that i’d left suddenly, but she eventually made her way back to our apartment where she found me cold in our bed, and so she called 911. she tried rousing me but she was unsuccessful. paramedics eventually came and they kept trying to wake me up and eventually brought me to the emergency room.

i’m not sure what they tried to do to me in there, but obviously they tried to flush all the drugs out or whatever. i remember very little during this time, just that they had to cut my clothes off of me and i couldn’t stay awake for long. live-in ex was there the whole time, but they didn’t let her in the room until my mom got there and declared her as family (they wouldn’t let her past the waiting area bc we’re not related, so my mom had them list her as my spouse so she could be with me).

eventually, they placed me in the ICU where i was placed on bed rest (literally was not allowed to get off my bed because there were at least like, five or six wires attached to me) the whole time. a nurse has to be in the same room as me at all times, so they rotate these different nurses in 12 hour shifts, apart from the regular lead nurse who does hourly rounds to check on me. thankfully, they allowed visitors, so live-in ex stayed with me for most of it (so did my mom and my dad briefly, but they’re not as important). when they deemed me “healthy” enough (basically they wanted to make sure i didn’t lose my liver or something), they moved me into a regular hospital room.

been in here for the past day or so now. i can still have visitors, so live-in ex, both my parents, and my baby sister have all visited me. one of my coworkers who i’m close to also surprised me with a visit (which was so sweet, i was trying not to cry). they’re thankfully allowing me to have my phone and all (i’d be going insane if not), but i’ve been mostly sleeping honestly.

i tried asking them to not admit me into the psych ward cause i hate being in the looney bin, but i don’t have much of a choice because of the “severity” of my attempt. tried to opt for outpatient, but gonna be put in inpatient whether i like it or not, so i’ll be spending christmas here in the hospital alone unfortunately. oh well.

oops, yeah, not long story short lmao. anyway, sorry for worrying y’all. i really was not as lucid as i believed i was at the time that i’d made all those cryptic posts. i wanted to spend some time writing while i’m in here, but my emotional state has been so raw recently and the past few days being in here has caused me to be a lot more blocked in regards to that. my writing is tied to my emotions, so i won’t be able to write for y’all until i can process my emotions better again.

i don’t necessarily plan to abandon y’all, but if i’m slightly less active on here than usual, please understand why.

love you all.

#2023 has been one of the hardest years of my life #anon #belle answers #drug overdose mention #suicide mention #hospitalization mention #v