#or something like that if we have a kid ever bc it's HUGE!!! and both sides of the room have windows cuz it's a corner

[roseband]

has anyone seen that rent stabilization case they're trying to push to the supreme court cuz i'm ready to punch some idiots

#personal #omg nooooo they're trying to push an ''equality'' spin like they did for the affirmative action one #and i'm already seeing dummies fall for it PLEASE stop i'm locked in at 1600 base for queens STOP #literally we pay 1640 for a really large 1-bed a few blocks from the train if dumb dumbs ruin this for me i'm gonna go ballistic #like only 25 mins from manhattan too LOL #after two years our lease got raised a whopping 40 bucks a month so PLEASE PLEASE I AM BEGGING PPL #the little old lady paying $500/month in rent control in soho is NOT the reason rents are $3k STOP #that's literally the reasoning i've seen behind some of the posts like ''ohhh we're subsidizing boomers'' NO YOU AREN'T STOP PLEASE STOP :< #like it's such fucking obvious conservative astroturfing pls??? #like we're planning on staying here until we have like a 4yo... cuz we can divide our bedroom in 2/3.. 1/3 with like an ikea kallax #or something like that if we have a kid ever bc it's HUGE!!! and both sides of the room have windows cuz it's a corner #so we could turn the bedroom into bedroom + baby/toddler room #and since we don't plan on having kids for at least another 3 years that's 7 more years we could stay in our apartment with no issues #like the MOST our rent could be by then (bc we do the two year leases) with current trends is like... 2k #and our landlord hasn't raised it the full amount cause i do /most/ repairs myself #sooo pls don't fuck this up for me LMAO

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for agreeing to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding even though I think she's making a huge mistake?

(Emojis so I recognize it 👰‍♀️💍🤵)

So my (24F) cousin Anna (21F) got engaged at the start of December. This was really surprising to me because the last time I saw her at Thanksgiving she was just starting to get back into dating via tinder after a couple bad breakups, and she wasn't actively seeing anyone yet. When I got home for Christmas break, my mother told me that Anna had gotten engaged to and moved in with her new boyfriend, Evan (~22/23M), an army guy she'd met three weeks before and that no one but her immediate family had even met yet.

Our family has always been pretty close, and this was concerning for a lot of reasons. 1) she literally just had a nasty breakup with her rebound boyfriend after a nasty breakup with her last long-term relationship, making this guy her 4th serious boyfriend this year, 2) she historically has very bad taste in men, every boyfriend she has ever had had treated her horribly and she ties her entire self-worth up into how her boyfriend sees her so she's literally never been single for more than a couple weeks since high school, 3) her older sister (28F) literally just left a 13 year abusive relationship with the guy who started grooming her when she was 15 and he was 28, 4) the groom is about to ship out for a 9 month deployment a month after their March wedding and military men are notorious for cheating or divorcing on long deployments, 5) she wants her dream wedding in March (giving us only 2 months to plan and fundraise), despite her parents already being in tight financial straits bc they started building a house right before unexpectedly needing to take in and help provide for their eldest daughter and her two kids and both my grandparents (who live with them) having sudden drops in their health to the point where my grandfather probably will pass in the next couple months and my grandmother could pass at any time (though tbf, were pretty sure no one has told Anna this since my grandparents don't want to scare her and her mom's in denial).

I also just really don't like the groom bc the one time I met him he made a ton of racist and homophobic jokes despite there being multiple black and queer family members present, but if that were the only thing I could probably bite my tongue since I don't think that's something that bothers her or anyone else in the family. I'm just really worried about her, since it seems like she's been going through something for a while and I know how hard this is on my whole family, especially my grandparents, since we all are really scared about what's going to happen to her if things go wrong and considering the circumstances, that's a good chance this will go wrong.

I want to make it clear, I do really want this to work out for her. She's head over heels in love and he seems to care about her too. I just don't expect it to go well and I've said as much to anyone who asked how I feel about it.

Here's where I could be the asshole: Anna's really having a hard time with the entire family telling her this is a bad and impulsive idea, feeling like everyone who has a problem with it isn't supporting her. She called and asked me to be a bridesmaid, specifically because "you've always looked out for and supported me even when no one else did, so I really want you to be my bridesmaid." I told her I would love to be there and support her however she wanted me to, and I fully intend to be the best bridesmaid I can be because I want this to be a happy memory for her and to take as much stress off her and her parents as possible. But now she thinks I support this marriage when I definitely don't and have been open about that with both our moms as well as her sister (the maid of honor), my SIL (also a bridesmaid), and my brother (a groomsman), all of whom are in the same boat.

So, am I the asshole for agreeing to be my cousin's bridesmaid while thinking she's making a big mistake?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[gabessquishytum]

No sex-ed Dream our beloved 😁 how about the reverse of that last ask? Dream was told as a child that only married couples have babies, and growing up somehow completely missed any evidence to refute that. Even when he later (barely) learns about sex, by the time he’s in college he pretty firmly thinks it’s sex + marriage = babies. He still wanted his first time to be special though, so he’s still a virgin until he starts sleeping with Hob.

When Dream starts having pregnancy symptoms, he simply assumes he caught a bad flu or something. At some point Hob hesitantly brings up the possibility of pregnancy, but Dream just rolls his eyes and says something like that’s impossible, or that he’s pretty sure he would’ve noticed if he was pregnant.

What he’s thinking is “It’s impossible obviously bc we’re not married, and I’m pretty sure I would’ve noticed if we had gotten married, very funny Hob (actually that sounds lovely, but we should probably wait until after graduation)”.

What Hob hears is either “that’s impossible” as in Dream can’t have kids (a bit of a disappointment, but there’s always adoption), or “I would’ve noticed” as in Dream has already checked and confirmed he’s not, maybe he already took a test and it came back negative or he’s on his period, so Hob lets it go, and the nausea quickly goes away anyway and they move on in blissful ignorance (btw if Dream is like me he’s really really bad at tracking his cycles, so he doesn’t even notice that he’s missed a couple months (I’m so bad, if I ever get pregnant missing my period is not how I’m gonna find out 😅)).

If possible for maximum comedy I’d try to keep Dream in denial up until the birth, but Hob will probably bring the subject back up a little more forcefully when Dream starts showing. At first it could be dismissed as a little weight gain (and that’s what Dream definitely thinks it is), but at a certain point it’s clear that that’s a baby bump, it’s literally a baby bump, Dream do you have something you’d like to share???

They finally sit down and clear everything up, then they can both have a little freak out as a treat, that Dream is pregnant, they’re gonna be dads, holy shit they are so behind they need to schedule all the appointments yesterday.

-🪽anon

My love for this au never ends!!!! And I do have a huge soft spot for a Dream who is very obviously pregnant and very much in denial about it. Maybe he insists that Hob has just been feeding him too well! And Hob is staring at the very round very obvious bump (which occasionally ripples as the baby begins to move around and throw punches). Admittedly he likes to keep Dream eating plenty of nutritious meals, but his lasagnes definitely didn't do THAT.

I think deep, deep down Dream knows that he's having a baby, but he's very scared and kind of hoping the whole situation will go away if he ignores it. He still doesn't know HOW he got into this mess. Did him and Hob get married with out realising it? Dream is so confused and anxious and he wants a nine month nap and a hug. Instead he gets a baby (and a boyfriend who loves him very much and is who is NOT going to put his dick inside Dream without a condom for a very, very long time).

Nevertheless, the expectant parents are very very excited!!!! Hob is telling everyone he knows that his boyfriend is pregnant!!!! He's got a lil miracle in his belly!!!! Hob’s gonna be a daddy for real!!!! And Dream pulls off the most beautiful, iconic, celebratory trans pregnancy to the point where the entire campus is invested, and bigots everywhere are drowning in ire and envy.

It's especially nice that their baby, aged around 18 months, gets to be the guest of honour when they do get married. Dream and Hob get a night off from parenting their little one and have a very raunchy consummation of their marriage in their hotel room........ where Dream suggests that now they're actually married, maybe it's time to try for another baby?

Hob takes great pleasure in chucking the condoms out into the corridor. Time to make a baby with his HUSBAND <3

#🪽anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw pregnancy #trans dream

[mixelation]

oh yeah here's the second minakushi post. extreme ooc mixel moment bc it's naruto pov, ~3k words

uuuh okay so as a summary of the premise, this is an au where mizuki tells naruto about the fox earlier (he's 7-8). and then there's. alt universe stuff

****

“Naruto. Naruto.”

Naruto was dizzy and a little nauseous. There was a man yelling at him. Mad, probably, because he’d broken into the Hokage’s residence. At least this meant he’d get to talk to someone today. 

The room looked… different. Smaller. The walls were a different color. The stacks of scrolls were messier. Wow, all that light from the scroll must have super messed up Naruto’s vision. 

The man reached for him, and Naruto stumbled back. He didn’t know who this was; usually the guards around the Hokage’s residence wore funny white masks and armor. This guy showed his whole face, and he had on a normal Jounin uniform with a white coat over it. Naruto had never seen him around. He would have remembered him, too. There weren’t a lot of blondes in Konoha. 

“Are you hurt?” the man asked. He looked… concerned, which was weird. Naruto had just broken in and opened a bunch of scrolls and set one off. He was positive he was about to get into huge trouble. 

“No,” Naruto answered honestly. “Just dizzy.”

He waited patiently for the man to get properly angry and then yell. Instead, he squatted down and pulled him into a hug. 

“You scared me, kid,” he said, holding Naruto tight and rubbing his back. He smelled like old books. “There’s a reason I told you never to come in here alone.”

Naruto’s body had gone all stiff. If you had asked him that morning if he wanted a hug, he probably would have said yes. But since then he’d learned some secrets, and he knew no one was ever going to offer him one. He also didn’t know this man, and he had been positive he was going to yell and threaten like what usually happened when Naruto did something bad. This seemed wrong, and it made him nervous. 

The man let him go, although he put both his hands on Naruto’s shoulders. He tilted his head to the side, face still all worried. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“Are you going to take me to the old man?” Naruto asked. 

“Old man?”

“You know,” Naruto shrugged off the weird man’s hands. “The Hokage.”

The man stared at him in open confusion. Naruto stared back. Was this one of those ‘mind games’ ninja in comics were always doing? He watched as the man’s eyes slowly drifted over his face and then down his body, and then settled on his hand. 

“Naruto,” the man said quietly, very calm in a way that told Naruto something was up. “Where did you get these clothes? And what happened to the cut on your hand?”

Well. This was a lot weirder than yelling. Naruto squinted at him. 

“What?” he said. 

“You cut your hand in kunai practice this morning,” the man said, voice still deadly calm. “That’s why you’re home from school.”

“Uh, no?” Naruto replied. “They don’t let me have real kunai, you know.”

The man was probably real upset now, but quiet about it the way some adults got when they were trying to hide it. Naruto knew the signs well. Sometimes adults like this were fine, but sometimes it meant they were going to burst and be the meanest of all. He shuffled back, nervous. The man’s mouth thinned and his lips went all wibbly, like he suddenly felt bad. 

“Take my hand,” the man told him, voice soft but firm. “We have to go check something.” 

xXx

Naruto didn’t really understand what was happening. The man was the Fourth Hokage, which was kind of cool but also impossible. He teleported Naruto into the Hokage’s office– which was the cooler thing yet– and then bossed around a bunch of ninja who did weird things with chakra to Naruto. The Fourth Hokage offered to hold his hand, which Naruto didn’t really get because none of the tests hurt, just tickled. Naruto didn’t really understand what any of them were saying, but still no one was yelling at him, and the Hokage had given him some crackers from his own desk, which was the same as Old Man Third’s desk, except for some reason it had a framed photo of Naruto and a pretty redhead lady.

Naruto stared at the photo while the Hokage listened to the weird doctor ninja. The woman had her arms around the Naruto in the photo, grinning so hard her eyes bunched up. Naruto wondered how he could be in the photo, if he’d never met this woman. 

“Should I brief Kushina-san?” the medic asked. 

“I…” the Fourth Hokage’s eyes flickered over to Naruto. “No, I should tell her myself. Send her a summons. You can tell her it’s urgent and it involves Naruto.”

Naruto turned his face at the sound of his name. The Fourth Hokage looked more worried than ever. The doctor ninja left. 

“Naruto,” the Fourth Hokage said very gently, sitting in the chair next to him. It looked kind of funny, because he sat on the wrong side of the Hokage’s desk. “Do you know what’s happening?”

“Not really,” Naruto said, swinging his legs. He was feeling pretty confident no one was going to yell at him now, but… “Am I in trouble?”

The Fourth Hokage smiled weakly at him. “No, not in trouble. Do you… Naruto, do you know who I am?”

Naruto stared at him. “The Fourth Hokage?”

There was a knock on the door, and the Hokage was on his feet immediately. “Can you sit tight for a couple minutes?”

“Did you summon me and then lock me out?” a woman’s voice asked loudly from the other side of the door. The Fourth Hokage suddenly vanished from his seat, and Naruto heard the woman say something like, “What, door not working?”

Then Naruto couldn’t hear anything else. He licked his finger and used it to dab up cracker crumbs. He wondered where Old Man Third was, if the Fourth was back and using his office. If he left a tack in the chair, would Old Man Third sit on it, or would the Fourth? 

Naruto knew where the tacks were kept. He walked around the other side of the desk and opened the drawer, but it had a bunch of calligraphy brushes instead. He tried another drawer and found pens and some spare staples and paper clips. They were all in a messy pile, not organized at all. Well, maybe the tacks would be buried under all this junk?

Naruto had taken all the office supplies out of the top drawers and scattered them on the desk when the door opened, revealing the Fourth and the pretty lady from the photo. Naruto immediately ducked down under the desk, hiding. 

“Well, he acts like our kid,” the woman said. The Fourth Hokage sighed loudly. “Naruto,” the woman said, “get your butt out here.”

Naruto heard her voice move closer as she talked, even though he couldn’t hear her footsteps. That probably meant she was a ninja, which was cool. He peaked out from over the desk. She didn’t look happy, but she didn’t look mad either. She raised her eyebrows expectantly at him, like Iruka-sensei would do sometimes when Naruto was goofing off. 

They let him sit in the Hokage’s chair, which was very cool. They wheeled it around to the other side of the desk because he was too short to sit and see over the desk. They sat across from him in the visitor’s chairs. They both looked…. tired, somehow.

“So I’m not in trouble?” Naruto confirmed. “You’re not going to yell or make me go clean up Hokage monument?”

“No one’s in trouble,” the woman said. Her hair was so long she had to pull it over her shoulder into her lap or it would touch the floor when she sat. And it was red-red, even prettier than Sakura-chan’s hair. “Hey, Naruto, do you know who I am?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?” Naruto asked, feeling frustrated. He hated tests, hated when adults made him feel stupid for not knowing things. “Why would I know who you are?”

The woman looked like he’d slapped her. The Hokage took her hand. 

“Can you tell me what you did today?” he asked. “I promise you won’t get in trouble, even if it was bad.”

“Ummm,” Naruto said. A lot had happened today. “Well, I didn’t cut my hand in school and all that, you know.”

He tried to explain his day. Adults always complained he wasn’t good at explaining, but Naruto thought his stories were super good and in-depth. He talked about his awesome prank on Iruka-sensei, which involved a stink bomb he made himself, and then explained the plot of the comic that gave him the idea. The woman nodded along very seriously. 

“What did your sensei do?” she prompted. 

“He was going to make me clean it up,” Naruto said. “But Mizuki-sensei said I didn’t have to so I went home.”

They had to ask a bunch of questions because Naruto forgot to say that Mizuki-sensei had told him at roll call that he could go home at lunchtime if Naruto did him a special favor. Usually Iruka-sensei would lecture him and tell him to think before he opened his mouth, and a lot of other sensei would just yell at him, but these two were very nice and not frustrated. 

“What favor did Mizuki-sensei want?” the woman asked, leaning forward in her seat like she was super into Naruto’s story. 

“I don’t think I’m supposed to tell,” Naruto admitted. Mizuki-sensei had said it was S-class, and people would hate him even more if he blabbed it. Naruto squirmed a bit in his seat, remembering what Mizuki-sensei had told him, about why Naruto was not ever going to have friends. 

The woman and the Hokage exchanged glances. 

“Naruto,” the Hokage said carefully. “I’m the Hokage. You can tell me anything at all.”

Well, that made sense. He probably already knew. Wait!

“You’re the Fourth,” Naruto realized. 

The Hokage raised his eyebrows, a smile crossing his face. “Yes, I am,” he agreed. “Naruto?”

So that meant… he was the one who… Naruto felt the sting of tears in his eyes. 

“Hey, hey,” the woman said, suddenly kneeling in front of him. “You don’t have to tell us everything right now, you know. But we need to know what happened, to help you.”

Naruto took a gulp of air. It would be so embarrassing to cry in front of this pretty ninja lady. Okay. He didn’t have to tell her what Mizuki told him, so she wouldn’t know he was a monster and hate him. 

“Let’s start with you going home,” the woman said, her hands taking either one of his and squeezing. “Did you go there right away, or did you go somewhere else first?”

Naruto had gone back to his apartment. Both of them had a lot of questions about it: where it was, if he lived with anyone, did he cook for himself, who went shopping for him, if he brushed his teeth every night and knew to clean behind his ears. Some of the questions were weird, but Naruto relaxed while he talked. This seemed like a safe conversation. Naruto’s apartment was cool, after all. It wasn’t fancy or anything, but it had all his stuff in it, and he’d gotten a tomato seed to sprout in a paper cup. 

“Were you home the rest of the day?” the Hokage asked after Naruto described in-depth how he shoplifted comics, which made the woman laugh loudly, her hands squeezing his. It felt nice. 

“No, I…” This is where the secret came back. “I didn’t want to steal from Old Man Hokage like Mizuki-sensei wanted. Like I will steal from stores sometimes, but that’s not someone’s house. So I went home instead of doing it. But then, um, I… um…”

Naruto had been crying in his apartment, because Mizuki-sensei had told him he was a monster and that’s why no one would ever look at him, and he’d looked at the clock and realized the window when Mizuki-sensei said the ANBU would be gone would end soon. 

“Well, anyway,” Naruto stuttered out, “I decided to do the favor anyway, and I went all sneaky into the Old Man’s house.”

“Sarutobi Hiruzen?” the Fourth Hokage asked, super serious. Naruto nodded. “The favor was to steal from him?”

“Yup,” Naruto agreed. “Mizuki wanted, uh, some scroll. I don’t remember what. But he said I could have this other one. Um, I forget the name of that one too.”

“Did you…” the Hokage said slowly, “open any of the scrolls?”

“Yeah,” Naruto said. “The one he said I could use to fix, uh, my problem. And then I was here.”

The adults exchanged a very, very long look. The woman stood, letting go of his hands, and it looked like she and the Hokage were in a staring contest. 

“I’ll explain it,” the Hokage eventually said. The woman sat back down. “Naruto, I’m Minato, and this is Kushina. I know this is difficult to understand, but we’re your parents.”

Naruto thought the worst he could feel was how he felt that morning when Mizuki-sensei talked to him, understanding why people were going to ignore him forever, when he felt so lonely he felt like he was being smothered. He’d fantasized about meeting his parents plenty of times, about having just one person out there to care about him, to talk to him and play with him the way he saw other kids with their parents. 

Somehow, this felt worse. 

“No,” he said, chest feeling tight. “No. My parents are dead. The Old Man said.”

They had to be dead. If they were alive, that meant they’d left him alone, and that was worse. Even parents couldn’t love a monster. 

“The scroll you opened was an experimental jutsu to move things between worlds,” the Hokage– Minato– the man who made Naruto into a monster said. “You’re in a different world where everything is a little different, including us. Do you understand?”

Obviously Naruto didn’t understand. His breath was hitching. Kushina got up again and leaned over him, rubbing his back. 

“You like comics, right?” she said. “Have you read Tonbo the Hero?”

Naruto rubbed snot from his nose. Tonbo the Hero was a ninja from a world that was just like the real one but everyone was these cool blue people. He accidentally got transported to the real world and worked as a hero ninja. 

Is that what he’d done…? But instead of a cool blue person, he was just a monster whose parents didn’t even love him. 

“It’s okay,” Kushina was saying. “You’re okay. We’re still your parents, and we’re going to take care of you.”

Naruto stared up at her. She was smiling at him. Some of her long hair had fallen over her shoulder and was tickling his face. Naruto’s eyes drifted back to the photo on the desk, of him smiling with her. They had the same smile, he realized. 

“Where’s the other Naruto?” he asked. 

The smile fell right off her face. Minato was next to her in a heartbeat, one hand on Naruto’s head and the other going around her waist. 

“Remember, you are not in trouble,” he said. “This isn’t your fault. But we think you two switched places.”

xXx

They took him to their home. They walked there, even though Minato could teleport, so he’d know the way on his own. Some of the streets were exactly the same as his world, but entire neighborhoods were entirely different. 

“What is this?” Naruto wondered as they walked along some old looking wall. In his world, this was a fancy mall with a bookshop he’d gotten into huge trouble with because they had a camera that caught him. He told Kushina all about it, his hand squeezing hers as hard as he could. 

“Huh,” Minato said. “Of all the things I’d expect to be different, the Uchiha compound was at the bottom of my list.”

The wall was around a bunch of buildings from the very founding of Konoha, where a family called the Uchiha mostly lived. Naruto knew one Uchiha, a boy in his class named Sasuke. He didn’t know where his home was in his own world. 

“Oh, we’re friends with Sasuke’s family,” Kushina said brightly. “Maybe you can still be friends with him here.”

Naruto couldn’t be friends with anyone, because he was a monster. So he covered up quickly. 

“Sasuke? Blegh! He’s a show-off.” 

Kushina and Minato both laughed. Minato took his other hand. 

Their house was nice. It had a bunch of rooms, and Kushina had him sit on their big couch while she pulled comics off a shelf. The Naruto of this world liked them too. She spread them out on the coffee table and asked Naruto about which ones he’d read and if he’d liked them. Minato disappeared into the kitchen and made dinner. 

They showed him this world’s Naruto’s bedroom. It was big, with a big window and no cracks in the paint, and the floorboards were all even. This Naruto had lots of toys and games, all messy on the floor like Minato’s desk drawers and Naruto’s things in his own apartment. Kushina pulled out a pair of pajamas for him. 

“I guess you need your own toothbrush,” she muttered to herself as she ran a bath for him. 

The temperature, when Naruto climbed into the water, was perfect. Naruto always made his too hot or too cold.  

This Naruto’s bed was really comfortable, but Naruto couldn’t sleep. Is this how kids who weren’t monsters live? Would they kick him out if they found out? He could just not tell them. Naruto was good at keeping secrets, when he needed to. Or were they going to just switch him back with the other Naruto, even if they never found out?

He thought about the other Naruto, alone without his parents in Naruto’s apartment. That wasn’t fair. But Naruto still didn’t want to switch back. 

The thoughts made his stomach queasy. He got up to get a glass of water, creeping down the hall to the stairs. From the top, he could see the kitchen light was on. When he sat still on the top step and concentrated, he could just make out the voices of Minato and Kushina below. Kushina’s carried better, because she talked louder.

“But we need our Naruto back,” she was saying. Naruto's stomach twisted again, and Minao said something he couldn’t make out. “No, that’s not acceptable.”

And then, Kushina was crying. 

Naruto drank out of the tap in the bathroom instead and went to bed feeling guilty. 

Monster.

#my writing #naruto fanfiction

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Can you do BEN with child reader pleasee?? Platonic obv btw this is if your requests are open!!^^ like reader is a newbie or something?? Please take care of yourself your worth it and im proud of youu!!

Aw, thank you for your kind words!!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEN x newbie!child!reader

Every time a new member is joining the manor, the entire population gets very lively

There are people chattering excitedly, wondering if they'll be friends with the new person

There's other's grumbling about how there's too many people as is

The list goes on

And once said person finally arrives, huge "meetings" (they're closer to parties, actually) are held to welcome the new memeber

But when word gets around that it's a child joining, the vibe is a little more...sad

A lot of the creeps come from bad childhood, so when they hear that the situation is so dire that they couldn't just wait until they're 18, it really just tugs at some heart strings

When this happens, the chatter is softer and kinder, and the "meetings" are not as big, only really including Slender, a few of the creeps that are good with kids, and the other kids

And of course, vegan friendly pizza and juice <33

BEN, being the shit demon he is, does not ever get invited to these smaller meetings

The kids of the manor don't really like him all that much (except for sally, but she likes everybody), and he doesn't like them

So when you toddle over to where he and heff are hanging out at on the second floor, he gets kind of anxious

He's playing mario 64, so thats good, but he and jeff tend to have pretty foul mouths and they are both nicotine addicts

He just doesn't wanna do anything that could bring up trauma for you

But instead, you decide to crawl up onto the couch between the two, looking up at BEN and asking if you can play

"Uhhh...sure" he says, handing you the controller

From that day on, you always make it a point to waddle over to his gaming spot and ask if you can play

For your first birthday at the manor, he gets you your very own nintendo switch lite and a few games he knows you like to play with him

You are his special little dude, and makes a point to make you happy whenever he can

Jeff doesnt like you all that much though, bc youre stealing his bestie/j

"BEN, can i sleep with you tonight? I had a bad dream"

"Dude you aren't seriously gonna let this little kid in here, are you? We were supposed to get high and tell each other all our secrets" -jeff

"It'll just have to wait til tomorrow then. Sorry dude, my little stinker comes first." -BEN

#creepypasta #slender mansion #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x you #ben drowned x y/n #ben drowned x you #ben drowned creepypasta #ben drowned x reader #ben drowned

[illicitlimerence-writes]

superheroes and flat caps | m. verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x singer!actress!reader word count: 9.4k words (i'm not sorry) request: yes, by anons: “hi babes, can i request a max v piece where you two met in monaco 2021 and you hit it off and became best friends and then started dating in december after he won the championship and your relationship wasn't public but there were speculations (reader is a famous singer and actress) and then miami gp 2022 after his win max just kisses the reader and thus outs them? 🥺” & “how about a fic of being best friends with max but he has such a soft spot for the reader and they pretty much act like a couple? 🥺” & “helloo! could i maybe request a fic where max is teaching the reader how to drive a manual. like it would just be super cute and fluffyyy. also, i really love your workss ❤️” & “hi can i request something where reader has a really bad panic attack and no one can help her calm down but max? warnings: this is really freaking long and i haven't slept in like 24 hours. not proofread bc i really wanted to post this rn. language, time skips, mentions of j*s verstappen, h*rner, m*rko. drinking(legal), idk what else. a/n: well that was an interesting weekend.

my masterlist

(post-race max supremacy)

may 20th, 2021.

the first time she set foot in monaco, she didn’t know what to expect. she’d been invited to the f1 race weekend in monte carlo, which was both nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. she was new to all the glitz and glamour of fame, and she only had what she’d seen in movies as reference to how monaco was.

she had the vip pass hanging from her neck, since she hadn’t been invited by a team specifically, she was free to roam around wherever she wanted to, which was nice, but at the same time, she didn’t have one specific spot that she could claim as hers. she was walking through the paddock, spotting many a-list celebrities, most of them probably didn’t even know who she was, but her fans did recognize her.

“hi, can we take a picture with you?” two girls about her age stopped her, she smiled and nodded.

“of course!” she grinned at the camera waving at the girls as they left, she took a step back, stumbling into a person passing by, “oh, god, i’m so sorry!” she apologized quickly, seeing a guy wearing a red bull polo and cap, she recognized him, it was the red bull racing star, max verstappen. “sorry, i didn’t look where i was-”

“it’s okay, don’t worry,” he gave her a small smile, she felt her cheeks heat under his stare, “are you lost?” he asked.

“uh, i actually don’t have anywhere to go, i don’t really know where i’m supposed to be,” she chuckled, feeling a small knot of nerves in her stomach. “i wasn’t invited by a team and it’s my first time here and-” she took a deep breath, “and now i’m rambling and wasting your time, i’ll find my way eventually, don’t wo-”

“you can come with me if you want,” he offered.

“oh no, i’m sure i’ll be fine,” she shook her head, taking a step back, accidentally colliding with another person, “sorry!” she apologized again, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

“really, i think it will be better for the whole paddock if you crashed in the red bull garage,” he chuckled. she covered her face with her hands, laughing lightly, “come on, we don’t bite,” he winked at her, she nodded after a few seconds, a small smile on her face.

“are you allowed to bring in strangers to the garage, though?” she asked.

“well, you’re not a stranger, everyone here knows who you are!” he smiled.

“wha- you do?” 

“of course! one of my best mates is a huge marvel nerd and he made me watch the show you’re in,” he laughed. “i liked it, didn’t understand much of it, but i enjoyed it. and your character, you were my favorite,” he nodded, and the heat in her cheeks intensified.

“thank you, i wasn’t too sure if the public would like me, or the character, but-”

“are you kidding? you were the best part of the show. i didn’t really connect with the story at first. the whole, switching decades and references to old sitcoms was neat and all, but there was something missing, i was about to change and put another show or film but when i saw your face on the screen i just knew things were about to get interesting,” she was left speechless, then a huge grin formed slowly on her lips.

“thank you,” she said, biting her lip as she felt a funny feeling in her stomach. they reached the red bull hospitality, he let her in first, her eyes went a little wide as she saw everything. “this is nice,” she said.

“yeah, much better than anything else you could find out there,” he winked, again. she laughed, nodding.

“maybe,” she said.

it was pretty early, and they still had a few hours left before he had to prepare for the first practice session. he invited her to his driver’s room.

“you can wait there if you don’t want to be bothered by anyone while i’m gone,” he said, and it made her feel warm inside, that even though they had only just met he was already looking out for her. 

they talked about anything and everything they could think of, finding out they had more in common than they thought at first. her anxiety disappeared as she got to know max, it was like talking to an old friend. the jokes started mere minutes after they sat down next to each other.

she told him about her switch from singing to acting, a scary process that made her doubt her skills.

"i've only been doing this for a short time, it was risky because i could've lost everything i have, but i think it worked out in the end," she still couldn't believe how much her life had changed in just two years. her rise to fame came thanks to her music, but when she told her manager that she wanted to try acting as well, and the opportunity to be part of such an ambitious show like ‘wandavision’ was a once in a lifetime opportunity. plus, the character she performed was one that nobody really expected. a female version of an iconic character was something that raised eyebrows at first, "did you always know that racing is what you wanted to do?" she asked, 

"it's really not like i had any other choice, of course i enjoy doing it, and i have from a young age, but there was never really a plan b for me. i have been surrounded by this my entire life and it's what comes natural for me. i don’t really know what else i could do. but now we’re here, and i have a chance at winning the championship. that’s the goal,”

“is it your goal, though?” she asked, the words slipped out of her lips without thinking twice, and she only noticed what she’d said after she noticed that max didn’t reply for a few seconds. “i mean, are you really doing this for yourself, or because you feel like you have to do this to get your parents’ approval? but you obviously do have the passion and love for it, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.”

“no, you- you’re right,” he admitted, “of course, at first i was really influenced by my dad, especially, i wanted to make him proud, and hopefully achieve what he couldn’t, but it’s become my life now. it’s what i love, it’s what i want to do, now i’m doing this for me.”

“you don’t have to explain yourself to me, i didn’t-”

“no, no, you’re okay, haven’t had a deep talk like this with someone in a while.” he chuckled, she smiled. 

“so, what happens today?” she asked, crossing one leg over the other, she leaned back against the couch in his driver’s room.

“we have free practice 1 and 2 in a bit, with a few hours break between each. practice is when we learn the track, even if you’ve been here before you still need to see how this year’s car will perform, but you have to be careful with all the tight corners, you don’t want to mess up your car, especially tomorrow before qualifying,” he explained.

“that’s when you figure out which order you’re starting on sunday?” she asked, even though her knowledge of the sport wasn’t that vast, some of the things she’d researched stuck with her.

“yeah,” he nodded. “there’s still some time left before fp1, why don’t we go down there? i can show you around,” he offered.

“oh, no, i- i don’t want to- you should probably start getting ready and i don’t know, train? before you get in the car, and-”

“you ramble a lot,” he noticed, “it’s cute,” he smiled. again, she felt her cheeks getting warm. “here’s a thing about me, if i didn’t want to do something, i wouldn’t offer. so, come on,” he got up, offering his hand. she thought about it for a second, but smiled, placing her hand in his as she got up.

“but you have to tell me when you need to leave, okay? i might be new to this but i can also take care of myself. and, i don’t want to be the reason you don’t perform well today,” she followed him out of his room, walking down the stairs.

“you can just stay in the garage if you want to,” he shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing, “wait, you should wear this,” he said, taking off his cap and placing it on her head, “there. and if anything, your presence there will just be another reason for me to try my best.”

“i never thought you’d be a sweet talker,” she let out a chuckle as they reached the garage.

“there’s a lot of things no one knows about me, schat,” he raised his eyebrows, a big smile on his face.

“oh, we’re starting with the nicknames so soon? okay. i’ll come up with something for you, then,” she chuckled.

“i’m sure you will, quicksilver,” he said, she rolled her eyes. her character in ‘wandavision’ was a female version of pietro maximoff, from a different universe, it certainly caught people’s attention, especially with the presence of the other pietro already in the show.

“that could be your nickname, though. you know, because you go really fast in the car,” she explained, lifting an eyebrow.

“we’ll both be quicksilver, then,” max nodded, and so did she, “okay,”

“okay.” she agreed, “now, teach me your nerdy f1 ways,”

the media was so confused after that thursday. both she and max were approached separately during the whole weekend, asking if they knew each other from before, what their relationship was like.

it was refreshing to create a bond with someone new so easily. it truly felt like they’d known each other in their past lives. they got along from the moment she stumbled into him, they could bounce off the other’s jokes, they created a chaotic environment in the red bull garage, -a band that granted her access to the garage now secured around her wrist-, one they hadn’t seen since 2018 when daniel and max were still teammates.

when max was gone, though, she hid back in her shell. but with him next to her, she didn’t care who was watching, he brought out the best of her.

may 22th, 2021.

he’d explained the day before how much he wanted to get a podium in monaco, it was his home now, and since starting his f1 career he’d never had the chance to step on the podium.

“your time will come, you just have to be careful,” she told him before the saturday qualifying session. “i’m sure it’ll come eventually. maybe even tomorrow, but you know you’ll have more chances here,” she reminded him, he nodded his head.

“i don’t know why i’m surprised that you’re good with speeches, you basically write poems for a living,”

“i know, i know, i’m the best,” she batted her eyelashes, making him laugh and throw an arm around her shoulders.

“it’s insane that we only met yesterday,” he said.

“i know. i’m not complaining, though,” she chuckled.

“yeah, me neither,” he let out a deep breath. “weekends will be boring from now on, without you here,”

“aw, but haven’t you heard that distance makes the heart grow fonder?” she teased, taking max’s cap from a nearby chair and putting it on.

“that’s bullshit, distance only creates issues.” he scoffed, she frowned. 

“you really think so?” she asked, throwing her legs over his lap, her back against the arm of the couch.

“it’s what i’ve experienced,” he said, his voice low. she noticed him tensing as he spoke, so she didn’t pry anymore.

“well, maybe it won’t be like that this time,” she smiled at him. he turned his head to look at her, to her hopeful eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile at her, too. he even felt his cheeks flushing. 

“thirty minutes, max!” the knock and call from outside of his driver’s room startled them both, she started laughing at her own reaction, to avoid embarrassment. 

“i have to get ready,” he said, patting her knee and lifting her legs as he got up, only to place them back down on his couch. he walked to a small closet where he kept his fireproof undershirt and pants, he took them out and placed it on the massage table set against the wall. without muttering a word, he started taking off his shirt.

“whoa! a little warning, please!” she covered her eyes with her hands, hearing his laugh.

“oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal,”

“well, let me tell you, mr. verstappen, that guys usually take me out on a couple of dates before i see them shirtless,” she stood up, peeking from behind her fingers, seeing his naked back toward her. she walked to him and slapped his head, snickering as she heard a loud ‘ow!’ from the dutchman. “perv,” she smiled, walking to the door.

“are you mad?” he asked, she turned to look at him, opening the door. she shook her head side to side, the same grin on both of their faces. “hope you enjoyed the show!” he said as she took a step out of his room, his fireproof undershirt in his hands.

“quali is supposed to be the show, max! i’ll be in the garage, magic mike,” with that she shut the door, she heard max’s loud laugh, a small chuckle left her lips as she felt her cheeks warm. that seemed to be the permanent state of her face when she was around max. 

-

may 23rd, 2021.

“what are you doing?” max asked, she had her hands on his shoulders, her eyes closed.

“i’m passing all my quicksilver superpowers to you,” she replied, a small smile on her face. she’d noticed he was quite nervous before the race, and she wanted to show her support for her new friend.

“you do know that’s just in the show, right?” he asked, amusement clear in his voice. she peeked one eye open, seeing a big grin on his face. she patted herself on the back mentally, it was working.

“shut up, do you want the powers or not?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she stayed with shut eyes.

“fine,” he said.

-

she felt nervous as she walked alongside the red bull team to the podium. she didn’t really know anyone, but max had asked for her presence.

‘if i get a podium, no matter where i finish, i’d like to see you there.’ he told her before the race started. she felt the same funny feeling from friday in her stomach. she only nodded her head, letting him get back to his pre-race training.

and not only had he scored his first monaco podium, but he’d also won the race. the mechanics noticed her, and parted so she could squeeze her way through, so she was now against the barriers. she watched as max parked the car in front of the ‘1’ board, he turned off the car and took out the steering wheel so he could get out, placing it back after he got up.

the loud cheers from the people around her made her smile, she found herself doing the same. max congratulated the other two podium finishers, and finally, he made his way to his team. he jumped and they held him up, clapping his back, his helmet, his arms. even his butt. she laughed, watching as he took his helmet off, walking to her.

“i don’t want to say the powers worked, but…” she didn’t get to finish her sentence, as max wrapped his arms around her frame and pulled her as close to him as possible. she hugged him, hiding her face in his neck.

“thank you for your superpowers, quicksilver,” he said. she felt his breath on her ear, he sounded sincere. “thanks to you i won the race today,” she felt small tears in her eyes as she heard his words.

“no, you did all this by yourself, max.” she said, and max leaned back. he noticed the small tears in her eyes. “but you can keep the superpowers for as long as you need them,” she smiled, unwrapping his arms from him, letting him go to his post-race interviews and podium celebrations. he tapped the cap she was wearing, she winked at him.

-

june 24th, 2021.

“what do you mean you don’t know how to drive?” max asked, she rolled her eyes.

“manual. i don’t know how to drive a manual,” she corrected, kicking him.

“well you’re lucky your best friend drives for a living,” max said, standing up and offering his hand.

“aw, so you’ll be my chauffeur from now on?” she teased, smiling. 

“i already am and don’t even get paid,” he shook his head, grabbing her hand and lifting her back from her bed. “i’m teaching you how to drive,” he declared.

“no, max, i’m fine with only knowing automatic,” she protested, but max was already walking to her luggage and grabbing a pair of shoes for her. 

“you never know when you’ll need it,” he said, kneeling in front of her as he helped her put on her shoes, “come on, cinderella,” he picked her up by the waist and started walking with her in his arms.

“put me down!” she laughed, “where are you even going to teach me how to drive?” he put her down, and gave her a stern look. “oh, no! no, we’re not going to-”

-

“are you ready?” max asked, they both had helmets on, she had a frown on her face.

“i hate you,” she whispered, turning on the car. she was aware of the cameras set up all over the car, recording everything they said or did. “go on,” she took a deep breath.

“hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. i know it’s probably too late, but you can still back out, or i can go first,” 

“no, you were right, i have to learn at some point. and i guess you’re the best teacher anyone could ask for,” she replied. max was looking at her, and there was something in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. like a sparkle, a gleam. 

“i’m glad you feel that way,” he smiled. “ready?” he asked, she nodded, smiling at the camera. “hello, guys. max here, and today i’m joined by my friend, (y/n) (y/l/n),” he pointed at her, she waved to the camera, smiling. “we are here in austria, on the red bull ring track, because today i will be teaching (y/n) how to drive.”

“a manual!” she clarified, throwing him a dirty look, “i do know how to drive automatic, but this dork insists that i need to learn how to drive a manual as well. so here we are, pleasing the diva,” max rolled her eyes at his words.

“anyway, hope you guys enjoy. and pray for me,”

“shut up!” she laughed, slapping his arm.

it was already nerve-wracking enough to be driving with a literal professional racing driver next to her, but add to that the fact that they were in an f1 track, with dozens of people watching. she was nervous, and he could see that.

“so we’ll start slow, there’s really not much of a difference, you just need to coordinate the gear change and your feet.” he explained.

max was, surprisingly, a really great teacher. she didn’t know if it was because she was the student, but soon enough she found herself speeding on the main straight.

“brake, slowly, and switch,” he said a few seconds before she had to do it, so she had enough time to react and not screw up the beautiful honda car they were lent.

“am i doing it?” she asked, thinking out loud.

“you are, look at you!” max smiled, tapping the hand she had wrapped around the stick shift. “and you said you didn’t want to learn,” he turned to look at her, seeing an adorable frown between her brows, what he’d deemed as her concentration face.

“max, i’m driving a manual!” she squealed, her eyes flicking between the road ahead and her best friend sitting next to her.

“i told you, you could do it, schatje,” the nickname slipped from his lips easily, she’d taken a liking to the word since the first time she heard it. she liked it when she heard him say it, specifically. “there you go, keep going. if you can handle the curves you’ve got it,” he continued telling her what to do, and soon enough they finished their first lap. there was an excited smile on her face, and a proud look on his. “you’ve got it,” he clapped his hands as they approached the spot where they had started. 

“that was really fun,” she had both hands on the wheel now, gripping so tight that her knuckles were turning white. “i feel like my heart’s coming out of my chest,” she chuckled, placing a hand on her chest. “thank you,” she smiled, her cheeks hurting.

“you might give me a run for my money,” he leaned his head, covered by the helmet, against the headrest, face turned her way. she chuckled as she did the same. they both stayed quiet, the comfortable silence speaking louder than any words both of them could’ve said at that moment. the only thing they could hear were their deep breaths, “i have an idea, let’s switch,” max said, unbuckling his seatbelt and running to the other side of the car. he opened the door for her, helping her out, “are you ready for your own hot laps experience?” he told her, her eyes widened.

“are we allowed?” she whispered, he bumped his helmet against hers. they were both wearing the same design, the same as his racing helmet.

“who cares?” he asked. she smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing to where max was sitting before. they buckled their seatbelts, twin mischievous grins on their faces as they watch the confused stares from people outside. photographers, people from media outlets, the red bull marketing team. “ready?”

“let’s go, quicksilver,” she smiled, she hadn’t called him that in a few weeks. her back was flat against the seat, she bit her lip as she tried to contain an excited squeal.

“don’t hold back, schatje, let it out,” he said, looking at her from the corner of his eye. she shook her head slightly, and max chuckled, going even faster. and this time, she did let out a loud laugh.

“you’re going too fast!”

“you want me to slow down?” he asked between his own chuckles.

“no!” she continued laughing. “i trust you,”

-

august 14th, 2021.

she furrowed her eyebrows as she locked her phone, tossing it inside her bag. she hadn’t received a text from max since the day before, and she was starting to worry. everytime they were apart for more than two weeks, she thought back to what he said the day after they met, about distance only screwing things up.

they hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. after the first weekend in austria she had to fly back to atlanta to film a movie. her first marvel movie. max had been so excited when he found out that they’d added her character at the last minute, changing the original script to feature her. 

june 30th, 2021.

“i have to leave tomorrow,” she said, and his face fell. “i’m sorry, i know i promised to be here for the two races here, but i-”

“it’s okay, you can’t turn this down, i understand.” he gave her a small smile, but he barely lifted the corners of his lips. 

“i feel bad,” she pouted, and max wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“don’t. this is something that we have to celebrate,” he pushed aside his feelings, he had to be a good best friend for her, just like she’d done many times for him. “we should go out," he said.

"out, where?" she asked.

"to party, you're going to be in your first major film. i can call some of the guys and tell them to meet us in a club or something," max pulled out his phone, he started scrolling through his contacts, she placed her hands on his.

"i don't need anyone else," she said, "i will have as much fun just with you then with a hundred people. i don't care how many celebrities, fans, or people in general are there to celebrate my accomplishments if you're not there."

the next morning, she woke up with a pounding headache and an arm around her waist. a strong chest was rising up and down, pressed against her back. she tried to turn around, but stopped once she felt someone breathing on her neck. she looked down, recognizing the hand that was holding her back.

she wanted to smile, to voice out the feelings inside her chest as she saw max cuddling her in his sleep. instead, she swallowed, pushing the feelings aside. carefully, he removed his arm from her, replacing her body with a pillow that he could hold on to. she checked the time, it was still early. once she heard max snoring lightly again, she stepped in the shower of her hotel room, she didn’t wash her hair to save time. she changed into sweats and a hoodie. she would’ve picked one of his hoodies, but he usually didn’t wear them. instead, she picked up one of his caps, adjusting the strap in the back and putting it on.

max woke up to an empty bedroom about two hours later, a text waiting for him.

‘had to run! thank you for last night, i had so much fun. good luck on your race, quicksilver!’

-

she landed in atlanta about 18 hours later, after a layover in london. she was exhausted, the entire flight she could only think about max. about the way they danced like no one was watching them, as if they were the only people in the world. she thought about the way he stared at every guy who even thought about looking her way, sending them a death stare that kept them away. she thanked him by brushing his hair away from his face, placing her hand on his cheek and rubbing it softly.

she arrived in her hotel, seeing her agent waiting for her there.

“i’ve been trying to call you,” was the first thing he said. she frowned.

“my phone died on my way here,” she pulled out her phone, seeing the black screen, “why? what happened?” she asked. her agent shook his head, handing her a black card.

“here’s your room key, 20th floor, room 33. get some rest, rehearsals start tomorrow. and please, don’t stay awake too late, the walls here are thin,” he said before walking away. now she was really confused. she stepped in the elevator, pushing the button for the 20th floor. after the doors opened, she looked for the door with the number 33 on it. she sighed, thinking about max again.

she didn’t expect to find the lights of her hotel room on. and she didn’t expect to hear someone talking.

“i know. i will be there in time, i promise.” she must’ve been hallucinating. he couldn’t- “yes, christian, i know. i will be in the car by the time fp1 comes around, that’s the only thing that matters,”

“max?” she asked, eyes wide.

“i have to go.” he hung up, cutting his boss off mid-sentence.

“wh-what are you doing here?” she asked. she still couldn’t believe he was there.

“you left. and you didn’t say goodbye,” he answered, walking to her. “so i came here,”

“ho-how did you even get here faster than me?” she furrowed her eyebrows once he was standing in front of her.

“private jet. which, you could’ve used if you had woken me up instead of leaving like that,”

“i-i had to leave,” she answered. 

“but why did you leave like that? are you mad at me? did i do something?”

“no, no. i just… i don’t know, i didn’t want to bother-”

“you never bother me. you’re my best friend, sure, you’re annoying sometimes, but you could never bother me,”

she smiled, a real smile. her eyes scanned his face, seeing nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“you flew to the other side of the world just to say goodbye,” she pointed out, taking a step toward him.

“i had to get my cap back,” he said, she could see his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. she didn’t buy his words.

 “how many girls have you done that for?” she lifted an eyebrow, leaning her weight on one leg.

“none. only you,” he replied without missing a beat. “you should know by now, there are things i can do only for you.”

“lucky me,” she smiled. and this time, she couldn’t ignore the feeling in her stomach, that was now traveling to her chest as well.

she thought about the last time she saw max. when he flew across the globe just to see her and wish her good luck on her new project. she bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back a grin. she really wanted to see him again. but he was on holidays, and with his tight, hectic schedule, he had to take every opportunity he was given to rest and focus on the next half of his season.

his last race before summer break was not one he wanted to remember. she wanted to be there for him, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. she was afraid that max’s thoughts about distance were coming true.

she heard a knock on the door of her trailer. her fifteen minutes were up. she adjusted her costume, getting ready to shoot the next few scenes. she walked a few meters to set, seeing the blue and green screens where the locations would be added later. she watched in silence as two of her co-stars were wrapping up a scene. she walked to where her designated chair, was, but found someone sitting on it.

“hey, i think you have the wrong chair,” she whispered, tapping the person on the shoulder. “max!” she whisper-yelled, aware that she couldn’t be too loud or the mics would catch her words. “what are you doing here?! you didn’t answer my texts and- and you’re supposed to be in croatia!” she said, taking his hand and leading him to the back, where they could talk freely without the chances of their conversation ruining the shot.

“i missed you. and i had this week off, so, i flew here,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“god, i missed you too. come here,” she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands went to her waist, pulling her close, being careful with her costume. “i can’t believe you’ve surprised me here twice,” she laughed, burying her face in his chest, she inhaled, the scent of his cologne registering again, she’d almost forgotten what it smelled like.

“and i’ll do it more and more if it means seeing that happy look on your face,” he tapped her nose, making her giggle softly. “look at you, quicksilver, you clean up nicely.”

“thank you, thank you,” she twirled, allowing him to see the whole outfit. 

“i brought my cap but i think everyone will kill me if i ruin your look,” they both laughed.

“you’re just in time to see one of my big scenes! come on, let me introduce you to everyone,” she grabbed his hand, dragging him as she led him to the set, where they were setting everything up for the next scene. “how did you even get in here?” she asked, lacing her fingers between his.

“mark,” he answered. of course, her agent.

“oh! did i ever tell you that he thought we were dating?” she said, and max’s heart skipped a bit.

“wh-what?” he asked. she smiled, nodding.

“yeah, remember when you first came here? he told me to watch out for the thin walls of the room, his room was next to mine, and he thought we would… you know,” she felt her cheeks blushing as she thought about what everyone else must think when they see her and max together. 

“oh,” max said, swallowing nothing again.

she had to bite her tongue to avoid saying something else, he clearly was uncomfortable with the idea of them being together. it was clear.

december 4th, 2021.

her nails were long gone. she had a lump in her throat each time she watched max approach a corner, which in this track, was almost every second. the second she saw the track layout, she knew that this wasn’t a safe circuit. she’d tried to voice this thoughts to max, but he shrugged and just said that there was nothing he could do about it.

“i’m not asking you to rebuild the circuit, i’m asking you to be careful.” she snapped at him. they were in the garage, he was about to go out for the qualifying session, and the crash from earlier had left her a little shaken up.

“i will be fine, why are you worrying? you’re never like this,” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“just… be careful, okay? the real work is tomorrow. don’t push the car too hard,”

“that’s exactly what i have to do,” he answered, putting on his white balaclava. “that’s how quali works,”

“on a different track, one that you know, maybe. not here. the position you start in won’t matter if you don’t even start.”

he wanted to ask her why she was telling him this, but was ushered to the car as lights were about to go green.

it was hard watching him be so pissed at himself. she hated being right about this. but she knew max, she knew that he could be impulsive, letting his instincts get the best of him. she had a feeling he would push to the limit to get that pole position. instead, he couldn’t even finish what could’ve otherwise been one of the greatest qualifying laps in history. 

it took a while before she could actually see him after the session. everyone could see that he was bitter about his failed lap. she was waiting for him in his driver’s room, her leg bouncing up and down as she thought about a good speech to tell him.

the door opening startled her. max’s hair was still sweaty, his fireproof clinging to his skin. he started removing it, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“are you happy?” he said. she frowned, looking up.

“what?”

“your little speech, you got in my head and i didn’t perform my best,” his words were short, stern.

“you’re saying it’s my fault? max, i literally warned you, i was looking after you,” she stood up, walking to him.

“get out,” he said.

“what?” she asked, her heart pounding. she tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look at her.

“get out, i- i don’t want to see you right now.”

“max, what’s going on with you? are you listening to yourself?”

“yes, i know what i am saying. i don’t want you here. not tomorrow, or next week.”

she gasped, the air stuck in her throat.

“you’re just a distraction,” he finished. he turned his back to her, placing his hands on the massage table. for once, she was glad he couldn’t see her, or the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. she grabbed her bag, knowing it was useless to try and reason with him when he was like this. “i need my cap back,” he told her. she took a deep breath, removing the hat from her head and throwing it on the floor.

“this isn’t you,” she said as she opened the door, closing it behind her as she saw him turning around.

december 5th, 2021.

she was in her hotel room, watching the race happening only a few kilometers away. she wanted to be there, she wanted to be the first person max saw as he stepped out of the car, but she didn’t know how he was feeling. 

of course she was feeling hurt, but deep down, she knew that he didn’t mean his words from yesterday, she knew those weren’t his words. she had experienced a plethora of different max moods during race weekends, but this was different. he had never been this close to winning a championship even with one race to go. every other race looked like child’s play compared to this. the pression was on him, by his team, by himself, and by his family.

she’d tried many times to convince him that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t get it that year, but he would always say that ‘this was his year’.

it was horrible not being able to be in the paddock. she hadn’t been able to sleep all night, and she’d spent the entire day locked in her hotel room, watching through her window as the track began filling with fans, she could hear the rumble of the engines, the roar from the crowds. she didn’t have any nails left, so she grabbed a red bull cap she found amongst her stuff and started playing with the velcro strap to deal with her nerves and anxiety. she knew it probably wouldn’t work afterward, but it was everything she could do.

seeing him standing on the podium, faking a smile, knowing that he didn’t have anyone to hear him out, hear his real thoughts, the ones only she had the privilege to hear, broke her heart. the next race would be great for the fans, but it would take a great toll on max’s mind.

she saw his face on the tv, she could see the dark circles under his eyes, the exhausted look on his face. she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, make him hide his face in the crook of her neck, and whisper that everything would be okay. that she was proud of him no matter what, that she loved him more than anything else in the world.

instead, she fell asleep on a cold bed, with no one by her side.

december 12th, 2021.

it was like being in monaco all over again. she had nowhere to go. she knew that if she stepped in the red bull hospitality or garage they wouldn’t kick her out, but she also knew that max didn’t want to see her. it was two hours until lights out, and the drivers were doing their usual ‘class of 2021’ picture before stepping onto a bus to take a few laps around the track for the drivers’ parade. 

this time, she was on top of the garages, she could see the pitlane from her spot. she heard the mercedes drivers being interviewed, could see what the cameras were recording on one of the screens stuck to the wall. the drivers as well, they could see the same broadcast.

it was now max’s turn to be interviewed, he smiled as he waved at the fans, he was distracted by the sudden cheer from the crowd.

“she’s back,” he heard from behind him, pausing his answer to look at the big screens. he gasped, clearing his throat to pretend that everything was alright. the rest of the drivers had gotten used to seeing her around, it was weird for everyone when they saw her on friday and saturday, but missed the race.

she frowned as he heard max stumbling on his words, the small truck was passing by the main straight, below from where she was. she was standing up, her hands against the concrete wall that reached up to her waist. she turned her head to one of the screens. it was like a chain, she saw max looking at her in one of the screens. the delay made it obvious to everyone that she was the reason he reacted that way.

she had to get out of there. she turned around just as the truck was stopping, the drivers rushing out of there in a hurry. she squeezed past other celebrities, trying to make herself as small as she could to go by unnoticed. she tried to hide her face behind the cap she was wearing. the only one she could find was a generic red bull cap, it didn’t feel like the one she was used to wear. his. max’s.

she made her way down the stairs, walking the opposite way from the rest of the crowd. she kept her head down, but had to look up when suddenly everyone was moving out of her way, making a free path for her. 

max was walking toward her, people were actively stepping aside to let him through. she turned back around and started walking away, but stopped when she felt a hand grabbing her arm. she tried yanking her arm away from his grip.

“stop, stop. you’re going to hurt yourself,” he said.

“then just let me go,” she replied.

“come here,” he started guiding her to the red bull hospitality.

“max,”

“i just want to talk. please,”

“are you sure i’m not just a distraction? you should probably be getting ready for the race, i wouldn’t want to be the reason you lose the championship.” it hurt to say those words, her heart broke at the sight of visible pain on his face.

“i- i didn’t mean that. just, please, come with me.” he pleaded.

“you have ten minutes,” she said. he dropped his hand down to grab hers, lacing his fingers with hers so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd of people in the paddock. thankfully, the hospitality was nearly empty, everyone was in too much of a frenzy out in the garage to really pay attention to what was going on back there. once they were in the privacy of his driver’s room, max immediately wrapped his arms around her entire frame, holding her close to his chest. her arms stayed by her sides, even though her hands were practically aching to hug him.

“i’m so sorry for what i said last week. i didn’t mean any of that. you were right, it wasn’t me.” he said. “i was… i let my dad, and horner, and marko get in my head. but it’s not true. you’re not a distraction, since that weekend in monaco you’re one of the reasons i do this. the best part of every race, no matter where i end up, is stepping out of the car and seeing you waiting for me. your presence, your… friendship,” he took a deep breath as he said that word, “means more to me than any championship, any trophy. in truth, the biggest accomplishment of my year is having you by my side.” he spoke fast, it didn’t sound rehearsed, he voiced every thought that came to his head. “last week in jeddah, and this whole week, i’ve not been myself. i can’t be myself without you.”

“this week has been hell,” she said.

“i am so sorry for putting you through that, i promise i-” she placed a hand on his chest, he paused.

“seeing you, without focus, your mind somewhere else, trying to prove to everyone that you’re worthy when you’ve already done that hundreds of times before, that was hell. max, you’re human, you’re allowed to have emotions, to have good days or bad days, you’re not a machine. you’re not programmed to win, no matter how many races you take part in, how many trophies you have. that’s the thing about life, every day is a new chance to do what you want to, your life will not end if you don’t win a race, or a championship. you have more chances.”

“i know.” he whispered. “but this is what i’ve been working for my entire life.”

“but is your life going to end if you don’t win? no. if you keep acting like you did last week, if you let toxic people manipulate you, turn you into something you’re not, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll push everyone away.” she could feel his hands tightening their grip on her waist at the thought of her leaving again. “i’m here to stay.”

“you’re all i need.” he pressed his forehead against hers, her eyes flew down to his lips. he noticed. he leaned closer, his nose brushing against hers.

“max,” she said, “we’re friends. best friends,”

“of course,” he leaned back a little. “the best friend i could ask for,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“i love you,” she said. “as a friend,” her voice was shaky.

“of course. i love you as a friend, too,”

“good. now, we have a championship to win,” she patted his chest twice, making him smile.

“what happened to the speech you just-”

“the fact that you have many other chances doesn’t mean you won’t fight your hardest to win this one,” she reminded him.

“come down with me? the garage feels empty without you.” he told her. she nodded.

“of course, i missed the thrill and the noise, watching on tv is just not the same,”

“i’m sorry,” he said, she shook her head.

“don’t apologize. i’m here now, we’re here now. let’s go, they must be looking for you. i’m sure horner will kill me once he sees us walking in.”

“i’ll fight him,” max said, walking to a desk, he opened a drawer and pulled out a cap. her cap, he always made sure it was the same one. the one with his name written inside with a sharpie. he took off the cap she was wearing, placing it on the desk before putting her cap on. “there,”

“much better,” she smiled.

december 13th, 2021.

she was wearing a black shirt with a design in white and gold, stating that max was the world champion. she was tossing and turning on her hotel bed, still buzzing with adrenaline from the previous celebrations. she hadn’t drunk that much in a long time, but it was the perfect occasion to party as much as she wanted to.

max was finally a world champion.

she smiled everytime she thought about it, she got teary eyed when she replayed the moment he stepped out of the car and ran straight to her hugging the life out of her as he thanked her for everything she’d done for him.

she loved him. perhaps, she loved him from the moment he ran into him that weekend in monaco. but she couldn’t risk it. one week without him had been hell, if her feelings were one sided and things ended badly, she didn’t know if she could survive without him in her life.

she groaned, kicking the covers off with her legs. she sat up, grabbing her phone and scrolling through the pictures and videos she’d taken that night. max and her pouring each other shots, seeing who could drink them faster. her licking the salt from his neck, taking the lime from his lips. him doing the same, the feeling of her tongue against her throat was one she would never forget. her stomach turned, knowing that it was only because they were drunk. 

being in love with your best friend sucks.

‘i love you like a best friend’ she thought back to her own words. coward.

she heard a knock on her door, it startled her at first, she checked the time. 4:38am. the person knocked again, she got out of bed and walked to the door, seeing a familiar head of dirty blonde hair on the other side.

“max, what’s-”

“i love you,” he blurted out. “i love you, and… not like a best friend. i don’t want you like a best friend, i want more,”

her breath got stuck in her throat, she couldn’t speak.

“i’ve had this feeling in my hands, since i let go of your hands when i was putting on my gloves, they haven’t stopped shaking, it’s like i can’t control them and…”

he lifted his hands, and she could see what he meant, slowly, she placed her hands in his. lacing her fingers with his, and the shaking stopped.

they didn’t speak anymore, they let their actions speak for them. she took a step closer, he leaned his head down. she stood on her tipoes, he closed his eyes. her eyes shut on their own accord, he parted his lips. they kissed, and it was like the piece that had been missing was finally found. two halves made a whole, two hearts became one, a friendship turned into something more.

may 2nd, 2022.

she walked the red carpet with max by her side. to everyone else, they were still just friends, although on evey interview they were asked the same question, they both always answered the same.

‘she/he’s my best friend.’

which, technically, wasn’t a lie.

she was extremely nervous that day, people were asking her what she was doing there, since her part was a complete secret. 

she was doing an interview with two of her co-stars, xochitl and benedict wong, she had to pretend it was her first time meeting them, since they didn’t appear on her show. max was standing by the side, watching her.

“i don’t know, they invited me and we were already here for the grand prix so we came,” she said. max noticed how she only lifted one corner of her lips to smile, a sign that she was nervous, she was about to slip.

“so, do you know what the future of your character is? we were left in a cliffhanger after the end of the show, are there any plans for future projects?”

“umm, i- i’m not sure, i-” she didn’t know what else to say, she looked to her castmates, silently begging for help, but they were unaware of her inside struggles. she hadn’t had that much preparation on this type of interviews, and she didn’t want to screw this up.

“can i just say something?” max said, popping his head and walking into frame before anyone could complain, “i personally don’t know what the future of her character is, but i just think that she’s an amazing actress who did an incredible job on that show, and both she and the character deserve to be part of this cinematic world. plus, look at her, she could act as a rock and it would still be oscar-worthy,” he finished. and she let out a shaky breath as he felt his hand on her back. 

“aw, you two are just the sweetest. are you sure there’s no sparks flying around between you? you just seem like you’re meant to be,” the interviewer said.

“the only sparks are the ones from my race car when i go over the curbs,” they both laughed, catching the interviewer a bit off guard.

once they were inside, she started breathing quickly.

“fuck, i think i screwed up. someone’s definitely going to notice,” she said, her fingers playing with the fabric of her dress. “fuck, i’m so fired, they’re never going to call me back, and-”

“hey, hey, stop. don’t say that,” max said, grabbing her hand. “no one will notice, and they won’t care. in my opinion, you should’ve just told the truth, show off your incredible work here, show them how much you deserve to be here,”

her chest was still rising up and down uncontrollably, and max wanted to kiss her lips, show her how much he loved her, that everything would be okay. but, they were still in public. so, he settled for a kiss on the cheek and a few words in her ear.

“i love you,” he whispered, “with all my being, in this life, all my past ones and those still to come. i love you, and i’m so proud of you,” he said before leaning back. “you will be fine, okay?”

“okay,” she repeated, he was holding her hand, with his thumb on top of the vein, he could feel her heartbeat slowing down to normal.

may 8th, 2022.

her eyes switched from one screen to the other, max had an amazing start on the race, making up one place on the opening lap. he’d been nervous that morning, having had limited time to understand and learn this new track. but his desire to win was there. it wasn’t too long until he reached the race leader, making brave, precise decisions at the right moment to maximize his winning opportunities. 

the safety car, as always, shook up the race a little, with the top four being closer than ever. but max was able to keep the lead, the issues he noticed in the car were quickly fixed with gp’s help, he knew to stay calm when necessary.

she had her cap on, even though the heat was unforgiving, she had to wear his cap. and she was tapping her nails against the desk area in front of her, under all the screens. she was incredibly proud of max, he had shown so much growth since the end of last season. of course, like everyone else, he still had some moments when the frustration often took the best of him, but he knew to take it easy, to let things go the way they’re supposed to.

long gone was her fear of walking alongside max’s mechanics and engineers, now she was just one of them. she was always given the spot closest to max. she was always the first person he hugged. she had the brightest smile on her face, this week had started good for her, and even though the weekend was tough for max, he managed to come out on top. 

max stepped out of the car, her loud cheers mixed in with the rest of the crowd. she clapped for him, a huge smile on her face as he stepped toward her. but, he went to his crew first. they pampered him in congratulations, as max took off his helmet. he shook hands and bumped fists with all of them, taking his sweet time to make his way to her. she had a small frown on her face, maybe he hadn’t seen her and that’s why we went with the others first.

no, he noticed her. finally, he made his way to her, placing his helmet on the floor and wrapping his arms around her waist, making her stand on her tiptoes.

“max,”

“i love you,” he said, leaning his head down and pressing his lips on hers. the crowd erupted in even louder cheers, she was shocked at first, but it only took her a second to melt into his touch.

“good race, champ. a little warning would’ve been nice,” she told him as he hugged her again, burying his face against her neck. one of her hands went to his hair. she loved his post-race hair. 

“come to the podium with me,” he said, she nodded. she would’ve agreed to anything at that moment.

as max was ushered to do post-race interviews, he tried his hardest to concentrate on the words leaving his lips, but he could only focus on her. she was glowing, shining brighter than the miami sun.

“yeah, my girlfriend and i have this inside joke, we pass each other the quicksilver powers, and she had them earlier this week, and now she gave them to me. i guess you could say that helped me win today,” max chuckled, her cheeks were hotter than the sun. as soon as he finished, he walked back to her, the red bull crew helped her get through the barrier. the red bull media team were already waiting for them in a car that would take them to the podium on the other side of the track, since there was no space left, max sat first, patting his lap.

“your carriage awaits, quicksilver,” he joked, she rolled her eyes as she sat on his lap, feeling his hand on her thigh. he pressed a kiss to her cheek, she turned her head, her lips touching his again.

“i think we broke the internet this week,” she laughed.

“what a great end to a great week,” max kissed her again. she sighed against his lips, she would never get tired of his kiss. 

#max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fan fiction #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen #max verstappen oneshot #max verstappen angst #max verstappen drabble #max verstappen fic #max verstappen fluff #max verstappen x actress!reader #max verstappen x singer!reader #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #max verstappen blurb #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 fandom #f1 drivers #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 #f1 drivers x reader #f1 drivers one shot

[pinkandpurple360]

i refuse to acknowledge viv’s patreon/twitter like canon of “ozzie never had feelings ever until fizz bc fizz is that speshul” and instead play into his string of failed relationships with sarah, lilith, and make some bs up for solomon too for ✨spice✨. then he can get with fizz and have the spirit of love return to him or something. or maybe even another character. i enjoy fizzarozzie but some of your posts got me thinking of an au where fizz either leaves him for blitzo or dies, and ozzie meets someone new and has conflicting feelings about it

Viv that would be kinda silly and childish. Not to mention recycling Stolas’ story. But. To be fair Twitter likes aren’t always canonised but still.

Asmodeus is thousands of years old. Has met millions of people. It would make sooo much better sense if he was hurt by a failed relationship and that’s why he resents love. Or if he saw his past lovers outlive him and leave, causing him to avoid attachments but when he does, he gets too protective and feels very insecure.

The Sarah and Lilith stories are a perfect opportunity to make Ozzie have some depth, past pain, and have moments where he is a bad person because he is a sin, hello?

I hate to think of Fizz dying and honestly prefer a mature scenario where Fizz sits him down after a while when problems have been building up for a long time, and they talk, not sing or dance, or cry dramatically, but talk.

I wrote this for my fic Trouble in Rented Paradise but here heck it, I’ll spoil some of the breakup I wrote:

“Oz, we both know this wasn’t meant to be forever. You helped me when I needed it, you put me back together. I’ll always be grateful for that. You were my partner when I lost my. When I lost everything. But. Like you said, i need to step off the stage, out of the spotlight. I don’t want you to watch me die slowly, while you stay here, all alone”

“But fizz, maybe, maybe if we just marry, you can be my queen, forever! Just you and me. Don’t you want that?”

“I.. don’t want to either stay in lust forever, with eyes around me, or for the duration of my time. It’s just that I don’t…belong here, it’s not home to me. not really. So. No Oz..I’m sorry, but I don’t want that. To be bound to anybody eternally. It feels wrong.

I’m an imp and no better than any other mortal. And I don’t think you really want this either. You value your freedom as much as I value mine. You could never really relax while trying to take care of me and watch over me. Protecting me from others. I love you so, so much. But I also love my friends, my family, my colleagues, the people who raised me and stayed by my side, too. And I have an opportunity to reconnect with them again, after so much time! I know it’s not fair..but I need you to not be my whole world. And I’m not your whole world. You have a huge family, you have your staff, the sins, the Goetia”

“Those stuck up birds and those other freaks like Mammon??! They—-I’m sorry..I don’t mean to raise my voice. But they just dont. They don’t care about me. And I don’t about them”

“I know that’s not true. Bee is your sister. Mam is a clown but you’ll need to end your feud someday. That prince stolas guy from Ozzie’s, he annoys you, but I can tell when you scolded him about his wife and daughter, it came from a place of care. Then he helped you save me when he didn’t really have to. I think that family, especially the children, need some help. Guidance. Something only you and Bee have the power to give. I know you’re good with kids, you just get nervous”

“I guess, but you see too much good in people sometimes fizz”

“Maybe but. I feel like I’m seeing clearly right now. I’d like to drop the curtain on this without shattering your heart beyond repair, and I don’t want the show to go on forever either.”

“Please, Fizz”

“Please Asmodeus, let me go. It’s not that there’s someone else. This, is for me. And it’s for you. Before I go, and after I go. Just do one thing for me?”

“Yes? Anything for you”

“Whenever you’re alone, or lonely, even when you don’t want to see anybody. Please try to keep the doors open ok? No more shutting people out.”

“…I’ll try”

This conversation will definitely be back and forth for several days. And they’ll still be intimate a few times before drifting apart. But it wouldn’t result in a broken heart that is irreparable. Only a slightly crooked one that they can clean up together.

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss #fizzarozzie critical

[wendytestabrat]

why kyle likes cartman more than stan

i feel like the episodes “raisins” and the YGO/ass burgers two parter RLLY highlighted the difference between stan & kyle as characters. stan is wayyy more pessimistic and cynical than kyle is so this is why stan can get depressed easily and mope around and just throw a huge pity party when he’s sad. like yeah kyle is sensitive AF too and also wears his heart on his sleeve but i feel like kyle copes with his problems more through anger and just lashing out and then he moves on and gets over it after he’s let it all out in the open LOL. kyle doesn’t like sitting with his feelings and having to confront his emotions & shit which is why we don’t ever see kyle sitting around and just crying abt something like stan easily does aside from that time he was crying over that pic of cartman in “skank hunt”. even tho kyle is rlly pissy he’s overall more of a glass half-full person than stan is and tries to be more optimistic & idealistic abt shit (and he acts more like a normal kid too) but we see how in both YGO/ass burgers and raisins how kyle got flat out annoyed with stan for just being depressed & sad abt shit and he was super quick to try to cheer stan up and get him out of that state bc he didn’t like being around that negativity. which was annoying AF how kyle was like forcing his toxic positivity onto stan instead of just letting him feel what he needs to feel smh. but it rlly goes to show how easily uncomfortable kyle can get around other people’s feelings & vulnerabilities. i think this also has to do with his gemini ass bc air signs are rlly detached and get uncomfortable with emotions easily, but geminis ESPECIALLY are the types to just ignore emotions and shit and then try to distract themselves and keep themselves busy by having fun with a bunch of shit to avoid that stuff LOL. so yeah kyle vibes with cartman more bc of this bc cartman is A LOT more similar to kyle in that way than stan. cartman is a total sociopath and he doesn’t like having to get emotionally vulnerable either. cartman also likes to avoid confronting his feelings by doing a bunch of reckless crazy shit, so that’s why kyle was so quick to dump stan as a friend and then replace him with cartman bc kyle views cartman as someone more positive to be around bc of this. even tho cartman is super toxic and negative too but cartman isn’t a moper like stan and he’s more similar to kyle in that he just deals with shit by getting pissed and letting it all out in the open rather than drowning in depression. and i think that’s overall a huge aspect of the kyman dynamic and why it works better than style and why kyle is more intrigued by cartman bc cartman is someone more motivated and energetic like kyle and he’s someone kyle can have fun with that keeps him stimulated and brings excitement into his life. and cartman is a VERY fun, charismatic, positive, & resilient person who doesn’t let challenges weigh him down easily. wheras stan on the other hand is more chill and laid back and can be boring af and yeah kyle doesn’t wanna be around someone who’s just gonna depress him or bore the shit out of him. that’s honestly why kyle is quick to be there for cartman when he’s sad but not stan LOL bc when it happens with cartman it’s more rare to see & surprises kyle wheras with stan it’s like he does this shit everyday so kyle gets sick of that.

#KYMANRANTGARBAGE #kyman #south park

[chans-muffin]

skz hyung line x taylor swift eras

hi stayswiftie ville!!

so, im hiperfixated on both subjects and i love associating taylors eras with the things i enjoy, so w skz it would be no different :) here's my opinion!!

only the hyung line bc i lost inpo during lmao

wc: 420

notes: grammatical errors, ts unbearably, perhaps a wrong view of their personality (?) & i went to far on hyunbini im sorry 😭😭😭 i love them

bang chan - speak now / reputation!! - bro went to a lot and talked about karma multiple times, rep is something made to perform and impact, at the same time as it has insecure and more of melancholic lyrics. of course all the members went through this, but it's just that is chan more yk. and sn is just. yes. "something in his deep brown eyes has me saying 'hes not all bad like his reputation'" & all of superman & never grow up & back to december 'bout chans room :( & LONG LIVE AND TIMELESS FOR SKZ !! &@,#, im gonna shut up now but i actually have a entire playlist with these and others songs, letmk if you wanna check out :))

lee know - 1989 - i see a lot of this album associated with seungmin. for me, i see more of minho, its just the vibe that he passes on to me, since i don't know him deeply. but it's something more hidden from the media, living your youth in strange ways alongside people u appreciates, idk if it makes sense but ok kansmwj

changbin - debut / taylor swift - oK LISTEN. I KNOW HES SO COOL AND GOD OF RAP AND THEY HAD TO TAKE THE POCKETS OUT OF MY PANTS BECAUSE I WAS JUST WALKING WITH MY HANDS INSIDE THEM bUT- have you ever seen him with THE cowboy hat in topline mv? 🥺 but it's about the beginnings you know, all the way from 3RACHA to stray kids, rock and country on the same album just like we have 'sorry, i love you' and 'thunderous' in noeasy or 'leave' and 'lalalala' (all produced by changbin) he deserves everything! and your talent and effort should be recognized as many times as necessary <33 (and deep down, i also love imagining changbin with a goat with a pink lacy bow on it head KABSEKDHEKJD

hyunjin - evermore - i stand by that so fucking much you have no idea . hyune has a huge impact on stage of course, tHE photos with the red hot chili peppers shirt also made me feel,, things. but he is so much more than that :( he is an hopeless romantic with such beautiful piece arts about love and feelings. he has also shown interest and lived answering philosophical questions in the bubble community (rip 🌷) *han also mentioned that he talked a lot about philosophers with hyunjin, right? i'm not sure now* his arts also have a lot of shades of brown, yellow, gray and black and personally, these colors are very fall colors and "omg i'm in tremendous melancholy" vibe aswell so = sad autumn = evermore. HE ALSO POSTED ABOUT BETTY FROM FOLKLORE AND THESE TWO ARE SISTERS����. i really want to someday be able to talk about the lore of 'no body no crime' for him, also talk about the sapphic vibe radiating from 'ivy' and he would love it so much, 'champagne problems' too!! and after that he can post a beautiful photo on insta with 'evermore' in the background ((yes i took the delulu pills today

#stray kids #stray kids silly thoughts #stray kids hyung line #skz hyung line #taylor swift #taylor swift eras #stray kids x taylor swift #stayswiftie #bang chan #christopher bang #speak now #reputation #lee know #lee minho #1989 #changbin #seo changbin #taylor swift debut #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #evermore #stray kids bang chan #stray kids lee know #stray kids changbin #stray kids hyunjin #chans muffin #chans-muffin

[atopvisenyashill]

what if jacaerys velaryon was born a girl, would rhaenyra name her heir of the throne?

That would be up to Viserys at that point and it would be fun bc he’d finally have to clarify what the fuck he’s trying to do with the succession.

If he names a girl Jacaerys his heir before Rhaenyra has even attempted having a second child, there’s gonna be questions like “what are we dornish or something” that he’s going to have to deal with.

If he skips over Jacaerys and names Lucerys as Rhaenyra’s heir, people are probably going to ask “well why did you skip Jacaerys but not Rhaenyra?” and he’s going to have to have an answer besides “shut up.” - and his answer could be a lot of things tbh, bc “the king chooses his heir” is Not precedent you need to be setting while at the same time, “No female line can inherit ever” is an equally terrible and stupid precedent. he’s got free range to craft whatever the fuck rationale he wants and make it sound logical, bc look at jaehaerys & the doctrine of exceptionalism. he rode balerion ffs, these people will probably mostly fall in line if he has a maester draft a technicality rule!

I think especially if he skips Jace, names Luke, and then marries them to each other (huge risk if they’re still obviously harwin’s kids, btw), Alicent is just gonna be sitting there like “now wait a goddamn minute.”

If you’re sitting here thinking “both of those options sound like a mess” that’s because it is a mess :) “No female line can inherit” and Rhaenyra being named over Daemon cannot exist in the same world because according to GC 101, an uncle comes before a cousin and a male cousin comes before a daughter, every single goddamn time. Viserys doesn’t clarify his position here bc his position is “my brother is annoying as shit and i feel guilty that i left my daughter without a mother the way i was left without a mother” and that’s not like, a law, it’s a vibe. he then continues not clarifying after remarrying, having a son, AND naming that fucking son Aegon. But if Rhaenyra also has a firstborn daughter, it's not as easy for Viserys to just kinda "aw shucks" and mumble his way out of the room.

I also genuinely don't know what Rhaenyra would do. She's not fighting for absolute primogeniture (though she would have been in a better position if she had decided to fight for it). What she's fighting for is her father's right to name her as heir and her own right to be named as heir. It's about her situation specifically which was complicated when she was named and became more complicated after her brothers were born; there's precedent in story that someone can just name their heir and bypass the whole ~structure~ if there's not a clear line of inheritance, like Jeyne Arryn bypassing her first cousin (because he attempted to usurp her) for her fourth cousin (because he was loyal) and the Iron Throne backing up Jeyne's decision, and this is clearly how Rhaenyra is treating her own ascension. Rhaenyra is the exception the same way Targaryen incest is the exception to the Faith.

When the question of women inheriting over brothers comes up, she sides against absolute primogeniture because Corlys advises her to do so - and I like him but I am once again saying that Corlys is to blame for almost all of the dumb shit inheritance decisions that Rhaenyra makes, because Rhaenyra defaults to his "wisdom" as her advisor. Obviously Rhaenyra is incredibly short sighted in both placing too many unhatched eggs in Corlys' shit ass basket as well as treating her own ascension as somehow different than women inheriting over men, but you can kinda see the argument she's going for, she's just doing it badly (because she has bad advisors). She's saying her ascension was special because of the lack of heirs at the time and that you can't unname the Crown Princess, and she's very clearly backing away from setting any sort of precedent regarding literally anything else. She's amazingly similar to her father in that way; conflict averse but with a terrifying temper. And like I said up top, a girl Jacaerys forces both Rhaenyra and Viserys to finally look at the mess they, the Hightowers, and Jaehaerys made of the line of succession and fix it.

#viserys the peaceful #rhaenyra targaryen #gender politics in asoiaf #valyrianscrolls #jacaerys targaryen #asks #anons #to be clear this is 100% book verse. show rhaenyra is different in many ways chief among them being she's in a worse position politically #AND socially while also having the moral high ground more firmly. #i thought thorugh this one a lot alskjfkldj it really is the ultimate question about her

[sadevergreen]

as a camp counselor (technically not currently bc i went home for Illness) and homestuck fan (also technically not currently bc I'm too busy being a camp counselor) i love camp skaia. which homestuck characters are most likely to be the "we're ALL sick there's no reason you can't do the hike up the hill" (has mild cold and vague heatsickness at worst) counselor x "actual lung infection but thinks it's a really normal cold" (very easily gaslit) counselor program group pair? i feel like eridan and kanaya are hot contenders here

ooo ok this is so good- apologies for the ever loving hell that you are about to see but i sought assistance from my dear dear pale friend @marv3l-drag0ns !!!!!!!! MUAH PLATONICALLLY <> ILY they were a huge help in putting this together

BOY DO I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON THIS, THIS WAS EXTREMELY FUN :D

so let’s begin: my immediate instinct was kanaya and tavros are the most easily gaslit, or adhere most to given direction (we’re not going to talk about HIM). but then who to pair them with? they are both wet cats that won’t work. we decided that YES kanaya and eridan definitely make sense! but in which role? it may seem obvious but NO! eridan too sick? whiny fussy pitiful sopping kitty he’s just a beanbag full of milk! so we decided barely sick eridan, otherwise he’d be throwing a fit. instead he’s referring to his Superior Genes! and kanaya is. strugglin. but fuck man here we are 🤷‍♂️

But we’re not done yet!

the next we considered was karkat and terezi!! especially aided through the lens of karkat’s old crush on terezi; he’s too whipped and in denial to deny a girl a hand!

this led to possibly the funniest thing ever: THE INNER KANKRI THAT EVERYONE HAS AND HE SITS ON YOUR SHOULDER AND REMINDS YOU TO BE DECENT AND LEAVE ROOM FOR KANKRI

for the bigger drawings i capped it off with a good ol favorite of mine; erifef. why did i like them? man idek anymore but it worked really well with the idea of eridan being the sicker one, but being ok such thin ice over his constant whining that he just has to go along with it we just though it was funny hehe. it can be viewed through any lens! snippy or non, s’all good here! it’s all canon.

what is he was sick and he couldn’t whine 🥺 what is he was sick and he wasn’t allowed even a snivle about it 🥺 not a snort 🥺 or a sob 🥺 he’s so pathetic !!!! besides, he can’t be out paced by some fuckin kids!!!! HES A GROWN ADULT 16-18 Y/O CAMP COUNSELOR GODDAMNIT!!

MARVEL: “Feferi: ah yes your sickness you have a functioning immune system and are the most dramatic guy on planet earth (only one of those statements is true)” which statement? :) yeah

she doesn’t believe him anymore <333

Ok and that is it for full line art doodles, but!!! i couldn’t resist drawing some more pairs we pondered

ERIDAN AND KARKAT: omfg so good!! but they would 100% either both be tooooo sick and dead, or they would both be mostly fine

VRISKA AND TAVROS: no. and you know why we’re not doing this one :,( we all instantly knew this one would be here but we are choosing to ignore it im favor of…

TAVROS AND KARKAT: Marvel proposed it and it was very interesting!! i think similar to eridan and karkat, where they’re both dead or both barely sick. no i’m between. aggressive yet positive motivation (?) for the win!!! they further proposed that karkat “eats dirt for a living and doesn’t get sick very often”

Overall this was really fun to put together and answer, and i had a blast getting to colab with a mutual along the way :3 so thank you anon and thank you marvel!! this does bring me to something i’ve been meaning to say,,.,,,

@marv3l-drag0ns ,,? we’ve been friends forever, you know my dogs middle name, we complete each other in a way no one else can! you stop me from eating bones i find on the road, and i stop you from ascending to godtier to avoid going to exams…,…

would you be my

Moirail? <>

anyways! that’s all for now <3 this was so fun :) please send in more asks/ requests like this if you ever think of any more! i definitely feel for the camp counselor piece cause that was me earlier this summer PFF and all the counselors got sick and passed something around (but hey! it was an excuse to sit away from 7 y/olds for a few minutes while i got tea for my sore throat)

#art with jeddie #colab #mutual #moirails #homestuck #homestuck fanart #camp skaia au #eridan ampora #kanaya maryam #tavros nitram #vriska serket #feferi peixes #karkat vantas #kankri vantas #my art #erifef #erikar #erikan #tavris #tavkat #ok i think that’s everything?? #humanstuck #brain ghost kankri?? #oh and eridan was going to say we’re both miserable #i realize that was very confusing now #asks with jeddie

[h3apm3ch4n151m]

Meeting their child in the future except you're afraid/hateful of children Or you don't wanna have children in general lmao

I just had this idea bc I've read those "When twst boys meet their children from the future" except I'm trying to insert myself but I'm the kind of person who would not like to puke children, I'd be shocked as hell when I meet my future children knowing damn well I hate them. Basically, me inserting how I'd react in a way that it's so angsty LMAOOO

Dorm: Octavinelle Character: Floyd This is might be part 1, just ask if ya'll want a 2nd and 3rd part for Azul or Jade lol

Fluff with angst, with a side of crackfic MY FIRST EVER ANGST YAY Warnings: If you feel sensitive about topics of family/abuse and stuff, pls read with caution. Also children menaces. "------" Means can be either mama or papa lmao

Shoes quietly walk towards the door of the VIP room in Mostro Lounge. That was where you'd usually meet them. A surprise was what you were about to give them, however, a surprise is also awaiting you.

Floyd's route

Once you enter the room, you were met with an Azul who is slowly going insane, a smiling Jade by his side, and two people running around, more like Floyd and a kid.

"Oh, they're here." Azul slams his head on the table, great. Jade just calmly smiles at you, waiting for things to unfold. The two stop running and look at you with a huge grin.

"AAAHHH!!!" The child lounges at you with a big smile that you think it will rip apart his face. It was about to hug you, but you quickly avoided it. However, the kid was persistent and kept chasing you to hug you. "----- Are we playing tag?" The kid giggles, as well as Floyd who is watching the both of you.

Your face was scrunched up into... disgust? Like you were seeing someone being murdered in front of you.

"Who is this kid? Why is he calling me like that?" You turn to Floyd first, then the two who are watching. You were jolted backward when something latched onto you. "I caught you ----!" The kid was playful.

"What the hell kid, get off me." You state coldly as you pushed the kid off of you without a second thought. The kid moves back, completely off guard by what you've done. The kid was quite shaken, moving back with his hands to his chest while he looks at you with teary eyes and trembling lips.

"Shrimpy, that's not nice!" You look at Floyd who was approaching you and the kid. "Why? Is that your cousin?" You look back at notice the boy's features. He had Floyd's hair color though something else doesn't add up... You squint your eyes, but nothing clicks.

Just what is the meaning of this? Floyd picks up the kid and walks to you. "This is Alex!" "Oh, ok- "Our child"

wgat Floyb what do you mena chilf

nithign seemed righr, everything wa wrong.

"What, Floyd, have you gone insane?" You laugh. It started as a normal laugh until it died down into a concerned one. "What do you mean..." You narrow your eyes at him and the kid.

"Well, this happened at Alchemy class, we made a portal, then this dude came out of it. Prof said he'll be gone naturally, cuz he doesn't exist in this timeline."

"So he's from the future..."

"Yup"

"Okay, as long as that kid stays away from me, I'm fine with it." "But you're the other parent!" "Then I don't wanna take responsibility for it." You cross your arms.

Floyd stares at you, then looks at Alex, who he's carrying.

"Do you wanna go to -----?" He smiles. "Yes please, papa!" The two looks at you with a smile. Except Floyd has ill intent and the kid is pure joy.

"Oh no. Oh NO, YOU DON'T." You quickly move back, to behind one of the couches. You hold the armrest of the sofa. Floyd and the kid are on the opposite side.

Azul and Jade look at you with interest. "Oh? What is this, not willing to hold your child?" Azul asks with a smirk. "AZUL SHUT UP RIGHT NOW." You stare at the kid, concentrating on getting out of here without the kid.

"Shrimpy, this could be much easier if you take Alex." "HEEL NAH." Without warning, Floyd lounges to chase you, but your senses warned you of impending danger, so you move away to the other side of the sofa, but Floyd quickly changed directions. Now he was gaining on you.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" "NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE ALEX, SHRIMPY." "AAAAAAAAHHH" You didn't know what was scarier, Floyd chasing you or a child about to hog all your time.

"BANANA 😭😭😭😭" Out of desperation you just said some random words.

It was until you tripped, that both of them stopped running. "Hehehe" Floyd places Alex on top of you.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

----------

Everybody seemed to stare at you with weirded-out faces, no, not because of the child you're holding and an eel following you. It was because of the unusual scowl on your face that you rarely had. Ace and Deuce who went passed you didn't even say anything. Not Ace who usually would say something teasing about this exact scenario. But nothing. Nobody would really save you now, huh.

It was lucky how it was free time. So you went outside to get some fresh air. You sit down on a bench, ignoring the two.

"-----, I want a hug!" The kid opened his arms towards you and leaned in closer.

"No." As the kid leans in, you move away. But the kid doesn't seem to listen to you and hugs you by your shoulder.

"I SAID NO!" You harshly push him to Floyd who was sitting next to the kid. The kid tumbles back to Floyd, who grabbed him just in time.

You were clearly annoyed at this bratty child. While the child was clearly hurt, seeing how he wanted a hug from his parent.

"Oh, stop whining! I never asked for hugs when I was a child!" That was it. That's how Floyd knew. That was why you hated children in the first place. It was because you were never a child in the first place.

The kid started sniffling and covers his face. Floyd picked up the kid and shushed him, it was a... rare sight to see this.

Until the kid wandered off somewhere, running away.

"He'll be fine," Floyd said and looks at you. But you only rolled your eyes. "So, care to explain what ya did?"

"What?"

"C'mon Shrimpy, is that why you never liked it when I hug you?" He teasingly smiled at you.

"..."

"Well, I dunno what happened to ya, but even I wouldn't do that" He laughs, leaning on the bench.

"Well, the kid was being noisy, I don't like it." You lean on the bench too.

"Were you close with your parents, shrimpy?" He suddenly asks.

"Well, no- but-"

"Oh, so that's why."

"Hah?!"

"The kid, ya threw him when he was asking for a hug." He looks at you, side-eyed.

"..." You couldn't say anything. You just realized that. All of the things that you did, were a reflection of how your parents treated you.

You put your knees near your chest and cover your face, muffling your voice. "What have I done."

You've been such a jerk to a kid who wanted affection from their parent. Then you remember why you didn't want kids. It was because you thought; that you might pass down the lack of love and affection.

"I've been a jerk."

"Yah, you kinda did."

"Well thanks anyways."

"What happened between you and ya parents anyways?"

"Well... Whenever I wanted affection from my parents, they'd always push me aside, if I wanted a hug, they'd tell me it was too hot. If I kept doing it again and again, they'd say that I was too old for hugs." You've realized how much you lacked it. A family's affection.

"This wasn-" Floyd hugs you from the side, but you didn't hear him move towards you. "This is what you needed the most."

Floyd's hugs were usually tight, but this one... this one was comfort. The comfort you needed as a child. Reassurance.

Floyd heard soft sniffles from you, but nevertheless, he never stopped.

"Let's go... find that kid." You perk up and gave him a closed-eyed smile, with tears on the side of your face.

#h3apy crack writings 😊🔫💥 #h3apy writes😊🔫💥 #h3apy headcanons 😊🔫💥 #twst #twisted wonderland #Azul twst #Azul Ashengrotto #gn!reader #twst x reader #Jade twst #Jade Leech #Floyd #Floyd twst #Floyd x reader #Floyd leech #childhood trauma #octavinelle #vent #fanfic #h3apy angst 😩😔

[boneinator]

Hope this doesn’t bother you a lot, but can we get some headcanons of the teachers? I was curios about ur vision for them

Dw it doesn't bother me !! I love getting asks ^^

Anyway it's going under read more bc this feels like a long one

Sketch

• she/they enby, omnisexual (<- me when I'm projecting)

• mentor figure for the newer teachers

• gives drawings and crafts as gifts, might or might not have various voodoo dolls

• uses Colin as a monitor for digital art

Tony

• he/him, bisexual

• you CANNOT tell me he doesn't drink tea 24/7. Most British mf I have ever seen

• weird hearing, very sensitive to loud sounds but can barely hear normal talking tones. Applies to his own voice too so that's why he screams a lot

• kind of an inferiority complex for the decaying use of clocks over technology lol

Shrignold

• gay and homophobic idgaf

• aware of the harm he's doing but genuinely loves his cult- "family" a lot

• likes telenovelas, granny type of beat

Colin

• he/it Libramasc, pansexual (here I am, projecting once again)

• has haphephobia but is working on it (this one might as well be canon idk)

• everyone has a computer day, so even if you see him every day you only get screentime once a year

• autism 🫵

• his tail is retractable

• has SO MANY viruses, that's why he glitches and talks slow

Healthy band

• doing them all together bc how can you think of them alone :[ don't separate them

• common fanon of them being a family ykn the drill

• their "birthday" (or date of release lol) is actually fridge and steaks anniversary

• depending on the day they either make the most rancid bizarre food or a 5 stars, Gordon Ramsay approved meal

• running on the same luck, fridge can either be filled with normal groceries, nothing (you have to buy groceries) or gore. Like those are his guts leave him alone

• everyone hiding inside fridge is apparently a normal bonding experience

• bread boy is transfem !! (Should we start calling her something different?)

• spinach is also a she/they enby, nobody in here isn't lgbtq

Lamp

• he/him but doesn't really care, pansexual

• has been trying to be sober but he's already very fucked up, that's why he's like That™ in the TV show

• the other teachers we see in his episode are his party friends

• absolutely watches the others dreams, likes to bother them about what they mean

★ ok now the TV show ones

Briefcase

• has an absurd amount of skills, barbie kind of ridiculous

• lives with his brother and sustains them both

• workaholic

• was mr.petersons before red guy

• actually not that bad he's just really fast paced, genuinely just lost the trio on the fabric

Coffin

• he/him goth gf <3

• doesn't like music AT ALL. And is very mean about it

• besties with the tissue box !!

• originally only used his hush tone for work but it slowly morphed into his normal voice

• pretty bad PTSD

• very kind with kids and people in general tbh, it might be something useful for his job but it's just how he is really

Lily and Todney

• I don't think about them a lot sorry

• they know what they are doing and that their whole family dynamic is pretty fucked but they genuinely just really want a mom tho ,,,

Warren the wo-Eagle

• genuinely just hate him so I don't think about him a lot either lol

• had no power over the trio because he was fired and not technically a teacher anymore

• his whole Thing (ykn) comes from bullying and a feeling of inferiority. He still sucks tho

Mr.Transport

• well. I guess I just don't think a lot about the newer teachers

• was actually a really nice teacher before still going to work at 120 years old

• nobody really liked him but he was the other's only way of going outside the house so they endured him

• there was a fight over his will. People died

Electracey

• she/they enby n°3, lesbian

• really scared to touch her batteries now, has caused her to get cranky but still refuse to change them until forced

• puts up light shows for her friends

• huge sci-fi and videogames in general fan

• Colin's cousin. Actually all electronics are related

• wanted to be a music teacher but her biology said no

★ this is more of a general one but all of them are somewhere in the aroace spectrum !! I think it comes with the object nature. I have not defined where all of them fall tho

That's it I think. This is so long I am so sorry I just enjoy them a lot so I have a lot of thoughts

#dhmis #dont hug me im scared #headcanons #rambles #dang I have to tag them all?? #sketchbook dhmis #sketch dhmis #paige dhmis #tony the talking clock #shrignold the butterfly #colin the computer #healthy band dhmis #larry the lamp #dhmis briefcase #coffin dhmis #lily and todney dhmis #warren the eagle #warren the worm #mr.transport #choo choo man #electracey the meter #long post

[miguel-owhora]

going to rant about female writers for a sec, not tagging myself.

it irrational pisses me off when my feed is bombarded on this app by miguel x fem! readers. like why would you ruin my day by making me even entertain the idea that Miguel would EVER want to have p in v! straight sex with some girl? that man is GAYYYYYYY HE IS GAY AND IN A LOVING LONG-TERM COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP ME ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! WE ARE HUSBANDS WHO SWITCH POSITIONS IN BED AND WE MARRIED BOTH WEARING TUXES

like I don't even care half the time. I'm actually mad at myself for being this upset about it, but it almost feels like this app is trying to piss me off every time I log on because my feed and hashtags are always bombarded with x fem! reader garbage. I AM A MAN WITH A HUGE UNCUT COCK SHUT THE FUCK UP.

no bc fr 😭 majority of the time they dont tag their shit properly so you cant even filter without like.... losing majority of well, content. idk im just doing the same thing they do n just avoid any gendered terms so it's just '(char) x reader'

does it do anything, no. is it fun, not really.

anyways, what you said is so true n real !!!! the comics arent even canon, they're not real, i think the creator even said it themselves or something 😭 and they're like bad so even more reason to disregard them. miguel is canonically a transmasc mlm. i said what i said, that man has post op scars that glow red n a big fat hairy pussy and he gets off to men /srs gen canon

anyways, tired of female writers - and readers - clogging up the systems. they're a whole different breed that i want to see ! gone ! and on their own lane.

#mr. o'whora — lyla's messages. #on another note #the miguel n self insert drawings are always so #weird ???? 😭😭😭 like i get the size difference like dont get me wrong im a big fan of it #n ik miguels a fucking giant compared to everyone else but like.... half of the time their sona is either overly sexualized #or looks like a damn child next to miguel #theres a handful of sonas that i actually like #and then goes for masc sonas as well lmao like idk i dont wamna say anything else but there's like only 2 sonas i actually like lmao #i saw this sona pop up on my feed m my god that character looked like a teenager 😭😭 and they were so tiny compared 2 miguel i was like ! #is this a mf child r u fr rn and idk im just a hater in general but still #ok rant over :3

[gingergari]

Hi!! (I'm sorry this is the third time I'm trying to send the ask, I think my wifi is fighting with me aksdasl) I love your Mareach babies! and the art you have of them :''v Also their names are perfect bc of all the meanings jsdskd I'd love to know more of them bc I too love twins whdjwhdw How are they when they grow up? Or even when they were still babies!

i’m so glad you like mela and pera! :^) (and dw, the internet’s been wonky here too)

on the backend of things i’ve used mela for a mareach kid for a few years but it’s only this year when i was actually like. designing her that i was like ‘they should have twins. something something runs in the family (on my dad’s side of the family his mom had twins and the twins also had twins) something something legendary star twin having twins’ so i trialed a few names (mainly arancia) before i settled on pera! :^)

i’ve been having the time of my life this semester (/s) so i really haven’t developed them very much unfortunately :( but that’s what asks are for! (so please send more if you’re curious!)

this is getting long so here’s a post cut

mela is the more excitable twin and comes up with a lot of ideas, but as they grew up she defaults more to pera to lead because she tends to execute them better and think of details mela would miss

though as kids pera would go along with whatever mela suggested bc she thought it was fun ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (mela was the one who proposed playing with fire, pera would probably just say ‘lets do it outside’)

i think they fully developed their own ‘firebrand’ around 3-4! but there were signs beforehand, like mela sneezing smoke as a baby and having a higher normal body temperature than pera

(but peach’s magic is so strong there was little doubt that her children would inherit her abilities, and they do end up doing so to some degree! fire just manifested early)

in terms of them as babies, they were definitely a handful but overall ‘good’ babies

once pera knew how to walk tho it was a wrap

very adventurous and loves pursuing knowledge no matter what it takes (nosy and persistent) meanwhile mela has that same curiosity but doesn’t really know what she wants. the happy hobby pursuer

we know mario has experience with younger children and babies (mallow, goombario if you squint a little, watt, yoshi kid, himself (PiT moment), olivia) and peach likely doesn’t have nearly as much but it’s still a different ball game when it’s your kid and two of them and being prince consort(? king? in my head he stayed prince consort but i like @istadris ‘s thing) but he does have a huge community so they do end up well traveled/being cared for and spoiled by many of mario’s companions, and especially so by luigi, peasley, and daisy

back to them being more grown up

mela is the oldest (and as such wears warm-reddish colors in accordance with my headcanon of mushroom world sibling pairs) so technically she’s first in line for the throne, but she doesn’t have as much of an interest in it and believes pera would be a better choice. pera (wears green tones) to her credit does show more interest so they may forgo tradition once more when the time comes but joint ruling was never out of the question

but they don’t have to worry about that for quite a while (but i think peach would do well to make sure both are prepared regardless because of her own experience)

as a pair they aren’t as joined together at the hip as mario and luigi were/are mostly because they didn’t grow up in an environment where mela or pera absolutely needed to protect the other (nor were they ever forcibly separated like the bros were in yoshis island) but they absolutely love each other and would be friends if they weren’t sisters

when they were little tho they were obviously fraternal and always wanted to look identical so they mostly dressed the same until they got to be maybe around 6-8? wide range ik but yeah

but i’m not entirely sure what the situation with bowser is like when they’re growing up but it isn’t as volatile as it currently is. the @justcallmerosey post with clementine giving me ideas tho👀

#gari draws #gari’s ocs #gari’s asks #oc: pera #oc: mela #nintendo #smb #mareach #fankid #(POINTING LOUDLY) MELA HAS ADHD #pera has a silver crown solely bc i established with their earrings that pera wears silver jewelry. thats it #her dress is sleeveless atm #and mela’s has the puffy sleeves of her mother #ish #but this was an off the cuff design nothing official #it always feels weird when i’m designing clothes for them cause like i dont want them to wear formalwear all the time but it also feels #weird for them to wear anything too casual #so stalemate #maybe i should stick with the baby drawings /j #atm they dont have a brooch but in my headcanon peach’s jewelry are all methods of dampening her magic/keeping it in check #she could rip you to shreds without them #and atm they dont necessarily need that (read: i don’t have a brooch design yet) #i mostly posted now bc i couldn’t edit the tags 🤡 #but ty for sending the ask! :^) #also these mfs take turns being the photogenic one /j

[wormlette]

Your fic "a good dog" lives rent free in my brain and I'm so glad bc the characterization and the introspection and LAIOS SERVICING CHILCHUCK just make me go feral, can't wait to read what comes next ❤️

(and the noises I made while reading "fervent, writhing" could only be heard by shrimps).

PS: Y'all at the chilaios council are tempting me so hard to create a Chilaios sideblog bc all your brains are so HUGE

OK FIRST OF ALL sorry for hanging onto this ask for so long, I have been cradling it in my hands like a good luck charm while I write ❤️ I appreciate you so much. ALSO "noises that could only be heard by shrimps" is part of my lexicon now lmao.

I've been trying to get a good dog arranged into some sort of satisfying narrative -- I don't know how obvious it is, but even when I was writing more regularly, I still mostly only ever wrote drabble type things that are unconnected. Writing an actual story is my bane in life, but I've been very inspired to try because of all of you.

Here is a good dog snippet I'm particularly proud of!! It's a flashback!!!

“If I can ask…” Laios held up a finger, like a kid raising their hand. Chil raised a brow, and he and Falin watched curiously to see what would come next.

“…why did I upset you?”

Chilchuck sighed and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up further. He resisted the urge to grab it and tug. This guy really needed that said?

“Okay, but I want you to think for a minute, first. Have you ever seen a party lead by a half-foot, Laios? Have you ever even heard of one?”

Laios looked at the ceiling, hmm-ing. “…I guess not?”

“Right. That’s because the things a party leader needs, half-foots don’t have. That’s what people think. Long-legs think anyone who can’t fight can’t be in charge.” He shrugged. “They don’t say it, but it’s like that.”

Laios frowned and started to open his mouth. Chil waved his hand to cut him off. “The way people perceive you is everything in an adventurer’s party. ‘S just how it is.”

The siblings stayed silent. Were they twins? He realized he didn’t know. He’d been a bit incurious about them as well, truthfully. Assuming he’d work for them a little while before they parted ways, probably from pissing each other off. That hadn’t happened yet, so…

“Well. And that's exactly why YOU-“ he swung his empty mug at Laios - “have got to start taking this more seriously! This exact kind of thing is what I’m talking about!” They let him rant on. Having both of their attention on him was not a new feeling, but he ignored it. “The reactions people will have to you are exactly what a leader needs to be aware of! You can’t just say whatever you want!” He was ranting. “You’ll damage their trust in you if you’re careless. Think about how they’ll think, Laios.” It was so obvious, but Laios’ eyes were alight. Had nobody ever had talks like this with him? “And if you can’t figure *that* out, then at least listen to the people around you.” They were listening like he was bestowing crucial information on them. Chilchuck suddenly felt like laughing. There was something funny about these two overgrown dummies, so eerily at home in the dungeon but so in need of caretaking outside of that. They’d followed him around like puppies on errands across town to the bank and the slums, and now they were hanging on his every word. Eventually, he paused, raising his mug and drinking deeply until only foam was left. A warm feeling was in his gut.

“So it’s ok if I ask you, next time?” Laios looked at him with glimmering eyes. “If it’s an imposition, we could renegotiate…”

The idea of Laios renegotiating was laughable enough to make Chilchuck reach for the pitcher, but Laios beat him to it and leaned over to give him a refill. Ha! Maybe he wasn’t completely helpless. He was thinking now, wanting not to offend, wanting to be helpful. This was the kind of thing a party leader needed to practice, so it suddenly seemed very appropriate to reinforce him. “Yes! Like that! Good boy!”

If not for his keen senses, he would’ve never noticed. As it was, most of the time Chilchuck convinced himself he’d imagined it. The look in Laios’ eyes, in that instant, was feral.

#also FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART CREATE A SIDEBLOG TO BECOME EVEN MORE UNHINGED ON IT'S SO FUN.