#ptsd response

[qillermeme]

my mom almost died 2 weeks ago and every day since ive dreamt of burring my face in your torso and feeling your arms envelop me.. i hate that you are the comfort my heavy heart seeks. i almost called you that day, but i know you wouldnt care. i know it wouldnt actually bring me comfort to have you hold me, but fuck, how every cell in my body screams for you to wrap your body around mine. every fiber of my being just wants you to be here so bad.. its almost like loosing you all over again.

#personal #i miss you #i wish i didnt #comfort is complicated #ptsd response #trauma response

[whororhoe]

today something happened.

today something happened and

i don’t know how to feel

i don’t know what’s allowed;

is it illegal to feel vandalized

by something that was no one’s fault?

is it wrong to consent

and feel cheated by God when things go awry?

is it too cruel to look at you—

the man i’ve loved for longer than i’ve loved myself—

and after what happened today

see the man that tore my innocence away?

your eyes are black brown,

not even a drop of green within the wells

of your irises,

yet after what happened today

i looked up and could only see hazel.

your touch i have longed for—

longer than i’ve longed for a happy ending—

my skin hissed away from

my nerves alit like they’d been hit

it was your gentleness comforting me,

but your touch burned

like a hand that used to hold my neck.

it’s you i know

you that i’ve been safe with lending me,

but today something happened

and my legs shut like magnets

bile filling my throat, disgust rising

from my very core,

i didn’t see your loving smile

only the teeth of a monster

opening wide as he attempted to swallow me whole;

today something happened

and i saw only the man

that made me into a monster.

#trigger #ptsd #sa survivor #bpd #tw rape mentions #damaged goods #personal #writing #i dont know how to feel #ptsd response #abuse survivor #im fucked up #i cant even look at him now #why did this have to happen #please let it be okay

[diamondnokouzai]

if magneto knew what the internet was then he would post to r/aita as often as possible and all his posts would be the top posts of the year. thats the kind of drama hes going through. he also gets permabanned from r/mutants for advocating violence

#.din #.txt #marvel #x men #GD I FORGOT HOW OFTEN XAVIER USED HIS GO GO GADGET PTSD ON MAGNETO IN THIS SERIES. JESUS CHRIST. #im scared of getting gwenpool'd into the marvel universe cause thatd be the first thing id think of if i met professor x #and like what if he hadnt used his go go gadget ptsd telepathy yet in that universe? #would i be responsible for teaching him how to give magneto war flashbacks? #would he be offended that i thought about it? might be worse if he wasnt honestly. #that would be my first five questions but my hand would be covering my mouth so hed be reading my mind. #< as in the go go gadget war flashbacks would be my first five questions i mean

[moonlit-positivity]

You don't need everyone to like you. I understand this can be an overwhelming trauma response to being neglected and otherwise hurt as a kid without the comfort and reassurance of our parents. But please try to remember that your worth is not dependent on how many people can love you. You have something much more important and worth protecting-- your heart and soul and mind and spirit. Not everyone you meet in this world is gonna resonate and vibe with you on those same levels. You've got to get comfortable with the concept of being misunderstood or feeling out of place-- and, rather than fawn to fit in, take that as a sign to find the spaces and people who can better appreciate you for it.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #healing thoughts #people pleasing #fawn #fawn response #codependency #relationships #communication #shadow work #inner child #inner child healing #abusive relationships #abusive parenting #toxic relationships #suggestions #reminders #advice #self care #bpd

[neuroticboyfriend]

i dont think people realize how painful it is to constantly live in survival mode. like fight/flight/freeze/etc. is reserved for when you're close to fucking dying. people weren't made to live entire lives in that state. can you imagine the damage that does?

#softspoonie #disabled #disability #ptsd #cptsd #survival mode #fight or flight #fight flight or freeze #trauma #trauma survivor #traumatized #post traumatic stress disorder #trauma response #trauma survival

[notfromcold]

Me, having a Bad Time: What if I did this exact thing to a fictional character? Would I feel better?

#been in freeze response for days #LOOK OUT ED #trauma llama #ptsd cw

[manyminded]

here’s to all the people who have trauma that would be ‘silly’ to anyone over the age, of like, 10. There’s not a set number here.

to everyone who has a legitimate trauma response, even disorders like PTSD, from something as simple as a bee sting or getting lost in the super market one time.

it may seem dumb. something that isn’t ‘real trauma.’ but it effected you just the same! and that’s okay! you’re completely right to be impacted by it, even if it’s ‘small’.

you might’ve been young. (too young to have a decent grasp of what was scary or not.) you might’ve already been a victim of trauma, and develop more easier than others. maybe it was some other thing.

everyone’s brains works differently. if that means developing trauma easier, then that’s that. you shouldn’t feel ashamed or like you don’t need help because of it. you aren’t alone. there are people out there who will listen. I promise.

#trauma #trauma recovery #trauma response #trauma healing #childhood trauma #ptsd #ptsd recovery #mental health #mental illness #mental instability #trauma positivity #positivity #self compassion #healing #healing journey #trauma survivor #complex ptsd #post traumatic stress disorder

[unwelcome-ozian]

#trauma recovery #trauma response #cptsd #ptsd #fawn #freeze

[sadieshavingsex]

wow. there is no one who can love you the way you want and need to be loved except yourself. there is no one who can undo and replace the painful upbringing you received from your parents or your God but yourself. nobody is ever going to be able to provide the level of care, understanding, and due diligence required to help you heal. nobody. nobody else can fix you and help you. you are the only person who can fully love yourself, know yourself, understand yourself. it’s you. it has to be you. nobody else can ever give you that or be that for you

#mine #relationship anxiety #sex therapy #exvangelical #religious trauma #sexually repressed #ex christian #ex fundie #purity culture #christian purity culture #bpd #fawn response #ptsd #anxious attachment #inferiority #I’m so sad but it’s so true nobody I look for out in the world will ever help me or have the answers #it’s me or bust baby

[safe-haven-safe-place]

By @amandaontherise

#mental health #self care #recovery #healing #self love #self compassion #trauma recovery #trauma response #living with cptsd #cptsd coping #complex ptsd #complex post traumatic stress disorder

[mangosaurus]

wait a second. yasmina isolating herself on an island as a trauma response and sammy struggling to bridge the physical and emotional distance between them as a result? NOW WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS SONG BEFORE ...

#this is assuming the yasammy relationship issues allegations prove to be true ofc #which we wont know until the premiere #but if that IS the direction yasammy's relationship is going in jwct ....... #BENRIUS STOP PARALLELING THE CANON COUPLES CHALLENGE #(also yes i know it's not a one-to-one comparison) #(because yasmina's response is more akin to classic PTSD symptoms) #(while ben's was more like. deluding himself into believing that staying on nublar was GOOD for him) #(but in both situations they're trying to protect themselves emotionally) #(and it comes down to darius and sammy to break through the walls they've built around themselves) #jwct spoilers #mango roars

[mental-mona]

#trauma survivor #trauma response #mental health #mental illness #mental health awareness month #ptsd #infographic

[kenmakaminari]

Things I thought were normal until people I know pointed out that they were trauma responses!!!

(people being my friends, and even my therapist(s))

18 bullets

WARNINGS: mentions of abuse, mentions of csa, mentions of death/dying, disassociation, talk about tampons, probably quite a few typo's

Disassociation, especially when people are yelling or i feel like they are upset with me

Over explaining myself

Not being able to make a decision, even a small one

Not crying for over 10 years!

Never feeling attached to anyone or anything

Reading. Not normal reading, but always having a book or my phone on me, ready to read whenever normal life felt like it was too much

Hypersexuality starting at age 8

Tampons never feeling comfortable, or my body physically rejecting them and pushing them out

Being scared to tell the truth, but also scared to lie. And therefore just saying "I don't know" to even the smallest things

Being afraid or adults or any form of authority, even other kids

Being scared of going to sleep, because i thought that I was going to die. But then being confused because I wanted to die, so why was I scared? (I was scared because I didn't want my younger sisters finding me dead, because I knew deep down that they would check on me before my parents ever would - found that out years later)

Forgetting that I had a baby sister when I was 5 years old (she was in a different foster home than my other sister and I. Luckly we were all adopted together)

Thinking that since my adoptive parents have never hit, touched, or neglected us I have no reason to complain about them, and I'm just being dramatic

Starring blankly at walls, or into space for minutes to hours at a time

being incredibly quiet one day, and then being super hyperactive and happy the next

Crying when angry, and then crying more because I'm trying to be mad not upset

Over-analyzing everyone's intentions, always thinking that people have ulterior motives for being nice

Knowing which family member is walking past my room by the sound of their footsteps.

#ptsd #childhood trauma #mental health #mental illness #dissociation #reactive attachment disorder #psychology #trauma #dissociative disorder #trauma response #trauma responses #csa survivor #emotional abuse #adoptee #things i thought were normal #hypersexual

[pookiebearmick]

galladrabbles - safe and sound by tonight alive

i've been thinking about @mickeym4ndy's post about mickey struggling with his trauma post canon a lot! i feel like this @galladrabbles prompt from @deathclassic works well with a more healed post canon mickey who still struggles with his past traumas when something triggers a response + comforting husband ian being a sweetie

Things have been going really well for Mickey and Ian over the past couple of years - they have their business, Ian’s looking into what requirements he needs to become an EMT again, they’re even looking into renting a house closer to the Southside so they can be more involved uncles.

It all seems to come to a halt when Colin calls, asking Mickey to get him out of some shitty deal he made with Uncle Ronnie. It sends Mickey’s defenses up, right back into Terry’s world.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian says softly, reminding. “We’re home. We’re safe. He’s gone. Terry’s gone.”

#i said it once and i'll say it again!! #as someone with ptsd i think mickey has ptsd #he finds healthy ways to navigate his trauma and trauma responses eventually in my mind #and ian is always there supporting him and helping him #but trauma responses still happen! #shameless #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #gallavich #gallavich fic #galladrabbles #deckard's words #your honor they are husbands #they are husbands who take care of each other <3 #i feel like when i have a response i am always reminding myself that i'm home and that i'm safe #so it felt fitting for ian to remind mickey about this when his defenses go up

[martyrbat]

ghosts - batman: haunted knight

[ID: A multi panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as a child on Halloween. He's dressed up in a Mask of Zorro costume and is excitedly running down the stairs while holding two swords, calling out for his mother happily. He tells her that he's ready to go trick or treating. Martha Wayne has her hand on his shoulder and is smiling as she tells him, “your costume looks great!” Bruce replies, “Thanks, I made it myself. Alfred sorta helped. Is dad home yet?” Martha draws her hand back hesitantly and says his name. Bruce already knows that that means there's bad news. He tells her, “don't tell me,” before she continues and says his father called. Bruce has his head down, angrily finishing her sentence, “he's gotta work late!” He looks out the window as if his father will appear and says, “It's not fair! He promised he would take me trick or treating!” Martha soothes that she knows as Bruce repeats, “he promised,” to himself disappointedly. She tells him, “But there was an emergency,” which makes Bruce snap, “There's always some emergency!”

Bruce continues to stand in front of the window as Martha looks at him. Bruce announces, “I'm gonna wait for him. Even if it takes all night!” as he tensely clenches the handle of his sword. Martha reaches out for him sadly and suggests, “Bruce, I could take you out myself. Or, we can call some of the other children at school and go out with them.” Bruce, as an adult, somberly says off panel that, “she doesn't know...” as his kid self stares out the window still. His hat casting a small shadow on his face as he tells her, “There are no other kids to call. I have no friends at school.” Martha says his name again but doesn't know how to comfort him. Instead, she just silently places a hand on his shoulder. We see a silhouette from far away of her standing next to him as Bruce waits for his father to eventually come home. END ID]

#hey do you ever think about bruce's childhood and feel your chest hurt #like even before the murders. just how lonely he was a boy and how that loneliness only grew after watching his entire life and people he #had be ripped away from him. sure he had alfred but his entire life and world was contained to that big scary house that was suddenly so #much emptier. the constant reminders and seeing what was once there and triggering it again and again and again ontop of ptsd and ocd... #also martha?? love her. hes the biggest mama's boy you cant change my mind. #<- again using this tag because if thomas worked a lot and bruce obviously didn't have friends to go out with #then the only person he ever actually talked to and interacted with was his mother and alfred #the man hired to care about you and the woman who gave birth to you. thus that attachment being stronger #but also the 'people have to be trapped to want to be around me'... a man hired to be your friend and take care of you... #ur own parents not wanting to/avoiding that responsibility and involvement.... yeah. #anyways ! happy halloween !! heres a child being disappointed ! #bruce wayne #baby brucie #crypt's panels #c: batman: haunted knight | ghosts #martha wayne #bruce & martha #bruce's childhood

[thedreadvampy]

vaguing a post that's on my dash that I don't want to engage with (as usual) but actually no CPTSD isn't a diagnosis for 'when things were a tiny bit bad a lot' or 'if you experienced relationships that were toxic but not abusive' it's a diagnosis describing the impacts of CONTINUOUS TRAUMA. not less significant but more frequent trauma; trauma which is ongoing/continuous/recurring in developmental years.

like I'm not trying to gatekeep here and I recognise the value of saying 'it doesn't have to be a Single Big Obvious Trauma' because one key thing about CPTSD is that generally it makes traumatic incidents Your Normal so you don't necessarily view them as unusual or concerning. but I often see people talk about CPTSD as if it implies smaller individual incidents than PTSD and that just is not the case.

most experiences I have seen people be diagnosed with CPTSD for (myself included) are not 'a little bit toxic'. they are things which, each incident taken separately, an outsider would still recognise as traumatic - medical emergencies, rape and sexual abuse, significant physical violence, emotional abuse and coercive control, homelessness, severe poverty, war, torture, etc - and the thing that makes the PTSD C is not the relative level of the trauma, but the fact that it's enough of a repeated and consistent pattern, at an early enough stage, and sufficiently embedded in everyday life, that it becomes a person's baseline for 'normal'.

CPTSD is not a synonym for emotional microtraumas or cumulative trauma or 'death by a thousand cuts'. It's specifically defining the psychological differences in response to long term formative trauma as opposed to traumatic events which you process as an aberration (eg the difference between regular violence against you from trusted adults in childhood vs being physically abused for the first time in adulthood with existing experience of healthy relationships). Traumas causing CPTSD tend to be pretty similar in type, scale and severity to traumas causing standard PTSD - they are just more embedded and normalised earlier in life.

all this to say there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that cumulative microtraumas can't affect us in traumatic ways. there's nothing wrong with pointing out that there's a broad range of types of trauma, and trauma can include stuff like growing up marginalised or ill as well as abuse, war, injury or immediate loss. there's nothing wrong, too, with acknowledging that a lot that is traumatic doesn't necessarily feel traumatic to you.

but like. no. CPTSD is not a diagnosis for people whose trauma wasn't 'big enough' for PTSD. CPTSD is not cumulative microtraumas. CPTSD is a response to formative macrotraumas or to a long term traumatic situation without hope of escape or change and if you want to talk about microtraumas then do that but it's not what CPTSD is!

#red said #this has really pissed me off sorry I've seen several people post things like this #so this post just tipped me over #but like. goddamn. cptsd is not microtrauma. #and there are benefits to encouraging people to think of things as potentially traumatic before they're ready to register them as harm #but imo that's counterbalanced by the fact that again a major part of CPTSD for a lot of people is that we Think Severe Trauma Is Normal #so i do not think it's USEFUL to AGREE that CPTSD is a diagnosis describing the buildup of Small Normal Microtraumas #when it's generally a response to LARGE HORRIFYING trauma that KEEPS HAPPENING #listen ok so PTSD might describe an adult's response to being posted into a warzone or having their home unexpectedly attacked #CPTSD might describe a child who grew up in a warzone and struggles to feel safe into adulthood bc they have no experience of a safe world #they're both significant traumas but one is an interruption of the way you thought the works works #and the other is the only lens you have to view the world through #but crucially NEITHER ARE MICROTRAUMATIC AND THAT'S NOT WHAT THE COMPLEX IN CPTSD MEANS