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alltheirdamn · 1 month

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Killing Me Softly | (Joel x teacher!f!reader)

Chap. 3: Violent Delights

Chp. 3 Summary: Every ounce of your resolve fades away as Joel finds his way past your walls. Rating: 18+ MDNI Word Count: 8.5k Warnings: pre-outbreak AU, language, mutual pining, slow burn, angst, banter, sexual tension, heavy kissing, cliff hanger (sorrrrryyyyy) A/N: This one may or may not kill you guys... sorry in advance & please don't hate me. I'll make it up to you <3

Masterlist | Ko-Fi

As Boston came into view from the window of the plane, your anxiety began to skyrocket. Exam week flew by, and now it was finally fall break. You had spent half a day scrambling around the house trying to pack while planning when to call a taxi so that you wouldn’t miss your flight. Putting the stress aside, you had made it in time and found yourself trying to ease your mind with a stupid romance book on the flight. You weren’t huge on reading romance, but it was mindless and passed the time as you soared over the states.

Joel never reached out after he sent himself your number. You didn’t reach out either, which took a lot of self-restraint. You commended him for having just as much restraint because you were sure he’d cave and call you at some point. But the silence was blaring loud, and maybe he only wanted your number ‘just in case.’ You wouldn’t get your hopes up anymore.

You were coming down the escalator when your mom and two sisters came into view. Stella, your youngest sister, was the first to run and wrap you up in a big hug. Her black hair was chopped shorter than before, and she had a bright smile plastered on her face.

“Sis!” She squealed, squeezing your shoulders.

“Hi, Stell,” you laughed, hugging her tight.

“Look who’s home at last,” Beth said, her arms crossed over her chest as she watched Stella swing you back and forth.

Beth was younger than you by two years, while Stella was newly eighteen and still full of life. You and Beth hadn’t been very close since you left Boston, the bitterness of your absence still lingering between you both.

“Hey, Beth,” you sighed, opening your arms to invite her into a hug.

She was hesitant at first but finally caved and hugged you back. It was brief, but you’d settle for it. Your mom was the next in line to hug you, her voice shaky as she welcomed you home.

“Don’t cry, Mom,” you laughed, pulling away.

“I’m just happy you’re finally home. We missed you a lot.”

She took your luggage and guided you through the airport down to the parking garage. Stella lingered close, wanting to hear about your life in Austin and how teaching was going. Beth, on the other hand, hung back and kept quiet. You knew things would implode at some point during the week, but until then, you’d just have to acknowledge the ticking time bomb in the background.

“Where’s dad?” You asked your mom, climbing into the front seat.

“He’s home grilling up some steaks for dinner. He hasn’t stopped talking about you coming home since you booked the flight. He’s missed you the most,” she sighed.

“I missed him too,” you muttered.

It wasn’t lost on you that leaving had caused a gaping hole in your relationship with your entire family. Even if they weren’t the biggest fans of Bennett, they continued to support you through your decisions to move with him and uproot your life. After he left, they begged you to come home, but you knew staying in Austin was what felt right. You had a job and a home; leaving was admitting defeat. You wouldn’t let him strip away the life you had made; you wouldn’t let yourself be a failure.

The city blurred by as you neared your childhood home. You kept your eyes closed when you passed down the roads Bennett had once driven you, hoping you could force the memories away. But they still lingered. The past always seemed to linger. Stella and Beth chatted quietly in the backseat, leaving you in silence as the house appeared. Nothing had changed: the white brick chipping around the edges, the hedges in the front yard overgrown and unruly. You expected to feel at home, seeing the house again, but it didn’t feel like it once had.

As you unpacked the trunk and hauled your luggage inside, you heard your dad’s voice floating from the back deck.

“Is that my girl?” He called out, walking through the sliding doors with his grilling tools in hand.

“It is,” you smiled, dropping your things at the door.

“Hey there, peanut,” he greeted, awkwardly hugging you as his hands were full.

“Hey, Dad,” you whispered.

“Missed you, kid. How was the flight?”

You trailed him out onto the deck, the smell of smoke mixing with the autumn breeze as it passed through the trees lining the backyard. You had missed seeing the seasons change, the yellowing of the leaves, and the crisp air that seemed to linger throughout the day. Nothing would beat the East Coast in the fall, even if you liked living in Texas now.

“The flight wasn’t bad,” you shrugged, sinking into a lawn chair as you watched him flip the steaks. “I don’t know why four hours in the air felt so long.”

“You know, you could avoid it if you moved back home,” he suggested.

“I like living in Austin,” you argued. “I have a good job, and I’m happy there.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t happy. All I’m saying is that you can always come home.”

You remember him saying the exact same thing after the wedding ceremony went to shit. Two days after the incident, your dad was consoling you on the couch, holding you as you cried and urging you to come home. You can always come home, peanut.

“I know I can, Dad. Can we please just drop it?”

Your dad chuckled and made a pact with you not to repeat it. You only hoped your mom and sisters would do the same.

Dinner passed under a heavy silence. No one knew how to speak to you without possibly mentioning Bennett… or ‘the incident’ as they liked to refer to it. You awkwardly made small talk between your parents and Stella while Beth sat and pushed her food around. You stole glances at her ever so often, trying to form a plan when you could talk to her. Out of everyone in the family, your absence hurt her the most. She had been the most vocal about your issues with Bennett, which was to your detriment since you had confided in her the most. She gave the harsh truths and tough love, going so far as to try and talk you out of the engagement. In your love-struck haze, you hadn’t listened to her and found yourself defending Bennett—defending your emotions. You wished you had listened to her.

“So,” your mom started. “Any new love interests?”

You gave her a pointed stare, stabbing the steak on your plate. This was the last thing you wanted: explaining yourself to them.

“No, Mom. There’s no one to speak of,” you huffed.

“C’mon mom,” Beth laughed, chiming in. “You know she’s still wallowing away in that big house all alone.”

“Beth,” your dad warned. At the same time, Stella whispered, “Beth, don’t.”

“No, it’s okay.” You smiled through your teeth, glaring at Beth, who sat back in her seat with a smug expression.

“You did this to yourself, you know?” Beth said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Did what?” You questioned.

“We all warned you about Bennett. You knew he was no good, yet you stayed. And look! He left you.”

Her words cut deep, deeper than you wanted to admit. You kept your expression stony, not feeding into her words.

“Beth, you need to stop right now,” your mom nearly growled. “You’re out of line.”

“Let her talk, Mom,” you said. “She needs to get it out.”

“Oh, I need to get it out?” Beth snapped. “You’re the one fucking sulking about Austin, pulling this whole ‘woe is me’ bullshit. The signs were all there! Get over yourself. It’s been two years, sis. Move on.”

“Just because we don’t talk doesn’t mean I haven’t moved on,” you exhaled. “I’m still healing from it all, and I’m sorry I’m not including you in that. I didn’t know you needed access to every part of my life.”

Beth slapped her hands on the table, rising to her feet to stare down at you over the plates of food. You shrunk back, trying to keep the tears at bay. She was going in for the final blow.

“You came to me for advice, and I gave it. You went ahead with the engagement and still ended up alone. He was never going to marry you. You’re a fucking mouse too afraid to defend yourself, and he knew you wouldn’t fight for him back. He’s probably glad he didn’t marry someone as stupid as you. You can’t see the warning signs even when they’re flashing in your face!”

That was it. That was the breaking point.

You tossed your napkin onto your plate and removed yourself from the table. You drowned out your parents' voices and Stella’s yelling for you to come back as you ran towards the door.

“Run!” Beth called from behind you. “Run like Bennett did!”

You barely made it out the front door before crumpling to the ground with tears streaming down your face. Staying with Bennett didn’t just hurt you; it hurt everyone. They wanted the best for you, and you didn’t see that until it was too late. Your relationship with Beth had been shattered because you had thrown all the blame on her. You blamed her for every traitorous thought you had about Bennett; you wanted to blame her for your doubts and unhappiness. But it wasn’t her. It was you. Everything was your fault—it always was.

Stella’s small voice saying your name roused you from your crying as she joined you on the porch. Wrapping her arms around your shoulders, she leaned into you and let you cry out every bottled-up emotion.

“I’m sorry, Stell,” you sobbed. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you guys. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I never came home.”

“Shhh,” she hushed. “No one is mad at you for staying in Austin. We understand why you stayed. Beth is just hurt. You shut everyone out, but you shut her out the most. She just misses you.”

“All I do is fuck everything up,” you muttered.

“No, stop that,” she argued, rubbing a hand over your back. “None of what happened is your fault. You deserved love, and he wasn’t the right one. You’ll find it again.”

“I stayed for too long. I should have left him long before the wedding. I was just hoping it would fix everything.”

“How were you to know?” She sighed. “Just because he was shitty doesn’t mean you can’t be sad. What he did was totally fucked up, and you didn’t deserve that.”

“Tell Beth that,” you laughed through a hiccup. “She thinks I deserved it.”

“She’s hurt. She doesn’t mean those things.”

“But she’s not wrong.”

Stella sighed, pulling away from you to level you with a sympathetic look.

“I think you guys need to talk it out. Maybe not right now, but when you’re ready,” she offered.

“You’re the young one,” you groaned. “You shouldn’t be consoling your older sister like this.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta be nice to you,” she smiled, quietly laughing.

“Thank you,” you whimpered.

You fell back into her arms and stared aimlessly at the trees blowing in the wind. After a few quiet moments, you finally pulled yourself together and shuffled out of her arms. Stella watched you wearily as you stood, brushing the dirt from your pants.

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk to clear my head,” you announced. “Tell Mom and Dad I'll come back in a few.”

“Are you sure?” She asked.

“I’ll be okay, Stell. I promise. Thank you again,” you sighed, kissing her head.

Dusk fell over the neighborhood as you wandered between the trees and houses. A few neighbors walked their dogs while their kids ran through the streets playing ball or riding their bikes. You never wanted to be out and interacting at home, but you didn’t mind it here. There was no risk. No one would stop you and inquire about your life like they would at home.

As you rounded down the next street, your phone started ringing in your back pocket. You whipped it out and saw the one name you had been waiting for the last week: Joel. Part of you didn’t want to answer; you weren’t in the right headspace. But you had waited to hear from him, and honestly, he was probably the only person to sway your mood for the better. Sucking in a breath, you answered.

“Hello?” You said, hoping your voice didn’t betray you.

“I got a bone to pick with you,” Joel huffed, clearly joking.

But after the events of dinner, his words felt like another punch to the gut.

“Why?” You asked nervously, pulling the phone away to sniffle back more tears.

“I finished Romeo and Juliet, and I—. Wait, are you alright? Why does it sound like you’ve been cryin’?”

You let out a sad laugh; of course, he’d see right through you. He always managed to do that.

“Because I have been,” you sighed. There was no point in lying to him when you knew he’d continue bugging you.

“What happened? Are you alright? Do y’need me to come get you from somewhere?” God, he sounded so sweet when he was worried.

“I’m fine, Mr. Miller. I’m not even in Austin right now, so you’re off the hook on that offer.”

“Where are you?” He pressed.

“Boston. I’m visiting family over the break,” you explained.

“You from there?”

“I am.”

“I didn’t take you as an East Coast type of girl, but it makes sense with how stubborn y’are,” he chuckled.

“Yep. That’s me.”

“Alright, I ain’t gonna let you get off the hook this easily. What’s goin’ on?”

You rounded back down another street, holding your phone tighter against your ear, hoping you’d catch every breath in the receiver. Hearing Joel’s voice was enough to soothe your heart after a terrible night.

“Really,” you insisted. “We don’t need to talk about it.”

“I reckon we do. I bet you’ll feel better after.”

“I reckon I won’t,” you mimicked his accent.

Joel let out a low chuckle, clearly amused by your response. It garnered a smile from you as you pictured his lips turned up on the corners, the bottom lip pushed out and pouty like they always were.

“My family isn’t happy with me for staying in Austin. They think I should have moved home a couple of years ago,” you explained. “I’ll spare you the bad parts, but I should have come home. It would’ve made it easier on everyone.”

“But would it’ve made it easier on you?” He asked.

You stopped walking and pinched the bridge of your nose to hold back the coming tears. Of course, he saw it from the latter. He wasn’t siding with your parents, but he didn’t know what you had done and endured to deserve their bitterness.

“Probably, but it doesn’t matter. Listen, you don’t have to worry about me. We can talk poetry instead,” you offered.

“If that’s what y’want, and for the record, I’m gonna worry about you.” You could hear his smile through the phone.

“You don’t need to, Mr. Miller.”

“Joel,” he sighed. “Y’know, you can say my name.”

“I know, it’s just—.”

“All formalities,” he finished. “I just wish you’d quit that because I think we’re far past it by now.”

“I’m trying to maintain some semblance of professionalism,” you laughed.

Your house was slowly coming into view again, and you felt the nerves creep back in. Eventually, you’d have to face them again, but right now, all you wanted to hear was Joel’s thick accent and husky voice.

“What’s so wrong about bein’ unprofessional?” He joked.

“A lot, Mr. Miller,” you sighed.

There was a brief pause on his end, and you bit your lip, wondering if he understood the meaning behind your words. You'd be completely vulnerable to him when you crossed the threshold between professional and unprofessional. Your restraint would melt away, and he’d win.

“Should I be callin’ you Miss Smith again?” He sounded serious. “I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable and all that.”

“No,” you said all too quickly. “Call me by my name. I—I like it.”

You fucking idiot.

Joel spoke your name in a lower voice, sending a shiver down your spine. Your steps back to the house slowed as you tried to control a strange urge rushing through your body. Was he teasing you? Was he actually doing that? You had to reel back in all the unprofessional thoughts swarming your head… especially the ones wondering how your name would sound when he was inside—. Stop that.

“What’re you doing?” You exhaled.

“Sayin’ your name,” he countered. “Y’said you liked it.”

“Yeah, I do.” You were beyond flustered and hot. “You’re—never mind. I should probably get inside and make peace with my family. Don’t think I forgot about Romeo and Juliet; I still want to hear your thoughts.”

“Call me tonight before you sleep,” Joel said. Oh, Christ. “I ain’t gonna remember the story if I wait any longer.”

“We could’ve talked about it earlier,” you chuckled. “You got sidetracked asking about me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

You were at the edge of the front yard now, staring blankly at the porch light flickering against the nightfall blanketing the house. You couldn’t stay outside forever or on the phone with him forever—no matter how much you wanted to.

“I need to get back to my family,” you sidestepped. “I’ll call tonight, okay?”

“Promise?”

You smiled to yourself, gripping the phone tighter in your hand. Damn this man, and damn his charm.

“I promise, Mr. Miller. Goodbye.”

“Bye,” he whispered, your name falling off his tongue one last time.

You were so screwed. Completely and utterly screwed.

The house was quiet when you walked through the front door. Your mom and dad were lounging in the living room, flipping through channels, and Stella sat at the dining room table, working on her homework. Beth was nowhere to be found, which you figured would happen. Your mom glanced up from the couch with the same sympathetic expression Stella had given you earlier, and quite honestly, you were sick of it. You were sick of being pitied. You were sick of people being sad for you all the time. Yes, you were sad—all the time—but you wanted to be alone in your healing. You didn’t want to feel worse about it all from the people meant to support you. And you knew deep down they did support you, but it didn’t always feel that way.

You needed to talk to Beth, or this entire week would be hell.

“Is she up in her room?” You asked your mom.

She gave you a slow nod and then returned to watching the TV. She didn’t have to say anything; she knew why you asked.

Upstairs, your house was divided by two hallways. The left hallway had your parents and Stella’s room, and down the right was yours and Beth’s. You had spent so many nights with her tucked in the bed with you, staying up late talking about anything under the sun and always being each other's best friend. But that all disappeared when she realized how terrible Bennett was. Leaving Boston broke her heart, and in turn, Bennett broke yours and destroyed everything left between you and your family.

After a sharp inhale and one final wipe of your eyes, you knocked on her door, hoping she’d let you in. The silence behind the door cemented the fact she knew it was you, yet the door opened and revealed Beth just as disheveled as you were. Her long brown hair was tossed up into a bun, and the makeup she had worn earlier was gone, a redness rimming her eyes in its place. You wanted to wrap your arms around her to apologize for everything, but Beth wasn’t that person. She didn’t want affection. She wanted words.

“Can I come in?” You asked.

She nodded slowly, cracking the door open wider to let you step into her room. It was just as you remembered it: the fluffy white bed in the corner, the scattered polaroids on the wall, and the full-length mirror propped in the corner that you had gotten ready in front of before. Beth sat on the corner of her bed, her head hung as you joined her.

“I’m sorry,” she started. “I was a real bitch at dinner.”

You leaned into her, resting your head on her shoulder.

“You kinda were,” you chuckled. “But I understand. I shut you out. I shut everyone out, honestly. It’s easier to be alone.”

“No, it’s not,” she argued.

“Maybe, but it’s what I thought was best for me. You were right about Bennett, and I didn’t listen to you when I should have.”

“You may be older, but you are so stupid.”

You laughed harder at that, feeling her hand reach around and grip yours. You squeezed her fingers, your chest rising and falling normally. You missed this Beth, the one that could make light of the worst.

“You know I couldn’t have come home, right? I made a life out in Austin, even without Bennett. I even went to his law firm and asked where he had gone, and all they said was that he took a job out of state. I was so scared he came back here, and if I came back to Boston, I’d see him again.”

“Why are you so afraid of him?” She asked.

“Because he broke my heart worse than I could have ever imagined. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw him again, Beth. I’d be terrified.”

Beth glanced down at you, shrugging you off her shoulder so you could meet her eyes. Tears swam in her blue eyes, rolling over onto her cheeks.

“You’re stronger than that. You always have been.”

“I don’t feel like it sometimes.”

She sighed, brushing away tears you hadn’t realized escaped your eyes.

“Don’t let some shit guy ruin your life. You deserve to be happy, sis. There’s going to be someone so much greater out there.”

Flashes of Joel’s dark eyes and curly hair swam into your mind when she said those words. You didn’t want to believe Joel would be that person, but even your mind betrayed you. You willed it away, hoping you’d keep any thought of him lingering in the back of your head.

“I know,” you said. “Eventually, there will be.”

“There’s already someone, isn’t there?” She quirked an eyebrow.

You wanted to deny it and lie, but you wanted your friendship back. So, you told her everything, starting at the father-daughter dance and leading up to the phone call that had just ended. Beth had a massive grin while you spoke, nodding with every detail you shared.

“So… you’re gonna give him a chance, right?” She questioned.

“I can’t. He’s my students’ dad, and I can’t do that. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Then sneak around,” she pressed. “Here’s this amazing guy who’s obviously into you, and you’re gonna let that slip away because of what’s right and wrong?”

“What would you do?” You exhaled, falling back against her bed. You stared at the ceiling fan, watching it twirl in circles, hoping an answer would be hidden in its blades.

“I’d have amazing sex with him,” Beth chuckled, laying back beside you. “And then maybe fall in love, I don’t know. But sex for sure.”

“You’re terrible,” you giggled.

Beth laughed along with you, shuffling her body closer so both of you were shoulder to shoulder. Coming home would feel like this again, but coming home would mean losing everything all over again. You’d lose your job and the house you loved so much… and you’d lose Joel. For some reason, the idea of not seeing him around made your heart ache in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe Beth was right; maybe you’d give Joel a chance.

It was well into the night when you finally found yourself unwinding in bed and curling under the covers. You held your phone close to your chest, wondering if it was too late to call. In Boston, it was nearly midnight. Austin was only an hour behind, but you knew Joel worked early with his company. You didn’t want to assume he’d be asleep already, but the chances were slim he was awake and waiting for you.

You dialed his number anyway.

It barely reached the second ring before he answered, your name as sweet as ever rolling through the receiver.

“I didn’t think you’d call,” he said. “Figured you forgot all about me.”

“Never,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice down. Everyone was asleep in the house, and the last thing you wanted was for them to hear you talking on the phone late at night like you were a teenager all over again.

“Y’figure everythin’ out with your family?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s all good now.”

“Why’re you whisperin’?” He chuckled.

“Because everyone is asleep,” you tossed back.

“Sneakin’ around late then, huh?”

“Don’t tease me, Mr. Miller.”

“I’ll tease all I want,” he countered.

You blew out a breath, rolling over in the bed. With your knees curled up to your chest, you listened to Joel’s soft breathing and wondered if he was in bed, too. You wondered what he looked like, stretched out against the mattress, and if his body was as warm as his smile.

“Are you going to tell me about Romeo and Juliet? Or are you just going to sidetrack us again?” You asked softly.

Joel let out a heavy sigh, and you could hear rustling behind him. He was in bed, and for some reason, that enticed you.

“You coulda warned me that they both die,” he started. “If it weren’t for Paris, they coulda had a happy ending!”

“The whole point of the story is to have a tragic ending. Shakespeare warned everyone in the foreshadowing, with Montague saying, ‘These violent delights have violent ends.’ It’s supposed to be a story about the chaos of passion.”

“Still ain’t makin’ up for the fact they never got to be together,” Joel grumbled.

“Not every story is a happy ending,” you exhaled, wincing at the words you spoke. You didn’t die because of Bennett, but the story hit too close to home. Between the chaos of family and the violent ends of your relationship, you had nearly become Juliet, killing herself over a man. Not literally, but the pain after the wedding was a death within itself.

“Why d’you like it so much?” Joel asked.

“Wasn’t that your job to find out?”

“I’m not gonna lay here and make assumptions ‘bout you, but I get the feelin’ you’re a lot like Juliet.”

“Maybe,” you muttered quietly.

“Who’s Romeo then?”

He didn’t sound angry, but you knew he only asked because he wanted to understand you better. And fuck, if that wasn’t a turn-on in itself.

“He’s the one that left me at the altar.”

There was a heavy silence from his end of the phone. You wanted to take the words back and shove them deep within you where the world couldn’t hear them. No matter how many times you said it aloud, it never felt easier. But it was the unfortunate truth; your love story had a tragic ending.

“Jesus fuck, I’m so sorry,” Joel exhaled.

“Don’t be. I’m okay.”

“Whoever did that didn’t deserve you. Perfect girl like you ain’t deserve someone that shitty.”

Perfect girl.

You had to clench your thighs together at the way his voice roughened when he said those two words. You wanted to play them on a loop over and over until you were mindless. Bennett never called you perfect—beautiful, maybe, but never perfect. He knew you for five years and never said it; Joel knew you for a month and not only said it…but believed it.

“I stayed with him a lot longer than I should have.”

“Wanna talk about it?” Joel offered, his voice gentler than a moment ago.

“Not right now,” you whispered. “I’ll make you a deal.”

“I’m listenin’.”

You were playing with fire now, and maybe it was the vulnerability of the day catching up to you, but Beth’s words were stuck in your head. There’s going to be someone so much greater out there.

“Ask me anything you want over dinner.”

Silence. Dead silence.

You held your breath, waiting for a response, waiting for anything. You could handle rejection, or at least you hoped you could. You hadn’t put yourself out there since Bennett left, and the idea of being unlovable was hard to wrap your head around. Did he ruin you to the point of no return? Was there any hope left?

“I’m not gonna take y’out to dinner and talk about your ex-fiancé,” Joel grumbled.

“Oh, okay, yeah. I understand.”

The tears were welling in your eyes now, threatening your composure. He didn’t want to take you out anymore; that was fine. Who would want to deal with the broken pieces left in the wake of your past?

“If I’m gonna take you out, it’s gonna be a proper date where I get to know you,” Joel lowered his voice, the sound echoing through your head.

“A date?” You laughed nervously.

“Yes.” He said your name in a stern tone that stalled your breathing. “Quit bein’ all professional, and let me take you somewhere nice so I can really get to know you. That’s all I been wantin’ to do.”

“I’ll make you another deal,” you offered.

“God, you and your damn deals. Alright, let’s hear it,” he chuckled.

“When I’m back, ask me on a proper date.”

“Haven’t I already done that? The offer still stands, y’know.”

“I wasn’t ready to say yes when you asked. I think I’m ready now.”

“Bout damn time,” he laughed. “I swear I’m a patient man, but I’ve been goin’ out my damn mind waitin’ for you.”

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. That was always the default response these days.

“You’re worth waitin’ for, I promise.”

You were at a complete and total loss for words. How did Joel always say everything you had always wanted to hear? You tried not to compare him to Bennett, but this was far beyond anything you had received in the past. It was foreign but so sweet. You allowed yourself to take the plunge; now, every risk was heightened. If the heartbreak Bennett had caused was this bad, you hoped never to find out what losing Joel would feel like.

“Y’still there?” He asked.

“Yeah, I’m still here,” you whispered. You didn’t realize how long your thoughts had silenced you. “I’m looking forward to you asking me.”

“And I’m lookin’ forward to askin’…again.”

You smiled to yourself and shoved your head further under the covers. You could hear Joel yawning on the other end of the phone, and you realized just how late it was. You could listen to him talk until you fell asleep, but you wouldn’t keep him any longer.

“Go and get some sleep, Mr. Miller.”

“Y’sayin’ I’m old?” He grumbled.

“I’m saying I can hear you yawning over there,” you quipped.

“Alright, alright. Maybe we should both be gettin’ sleep. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight, Mr. Miller.”

The rest of the week went smoother than you had imagined. After the conversation with Beth, you both fell back into the familiar routine of being close. You’d catch her sliding you small smiles while you were out around the city, a deep concern crossing over her eyes, knowing how hard it was to relive the memories. Boston hadn’t changed, making it easier knowing you had made the right decision to leave. Stella introduced you to her new boyfriend, and your parents cooked a huge dinner to include him in a family evening together. And every night, you’d stay up late talking to Joel on the phone.

He told you tiny snippets of his day and what had happened at work while you shared pieces of your day traveling around town with family. You noticed how he sidestepped or avoided asking deeper questions about you, and it was sweet knowing that he really wanted to wait for that date to ask those questions. Those late-night talks became something you looked forward to, even if they were filled with mundane things to chat about.

Friday came quicker than you expected, and you were fidgeting to get on the plane home. Joel had asked the night before when you were landing and insisted on being the one to pick you up from the airport. You were struggling to continue saying ‘no’ to him, and frankly, you wanted him to be the first person you saw when you arrived.

Austin’s skyline was dotted with lights as the plane touched down in the evening. Those few hours on the plane felt like an eternity, but as you scrambled down the tunnel into the airport, you felt a surge of excitement flowing through your body. Something had shifted over the week between you and Joel; that line between professional and unprofessional slowly disappeared. You were losing the battle inside you to keep your distance from him, and God made it so easy to do that. His charm kept you coming back for more, and the idea of what could happen between the two of you was terrifying, but the risk was beginning to look less dangerous. You felt comfortable, which was far from what you felt with Bennett. You always had to be the best version of yourself, the perfect image of a perfect girlfriend and fiancé. But you realized with Joel, you could let your control slip. He had seen and heard your vulnerability more times than you wanted to allow, yet he didn’t run away.

He didn’t run away.

That thought slammed into you as you walked through the airport, knowing you weren’t walking towards an empty altar. You were walking towards a man willing to wait for you—for the first time.

As you made it through the crowd of other travelers, you finally emerged into the lower level of the airport, your eyes darting around to find Joel. In the chaos of bodies walking around, his tall figure stood above the rest, a small bouquet of flowers in hand. Your steps slowed as you approached, your eyes shifting from the flowers to his welcoming smile.

“What’s this?” you asked, your cheeks pink from running or seeing him; you weren’t sure.

“Figured it would be a nice way to welcome you home,” Joel smiled, handing them to you.

The flowers were an array of colorful carnations, their orange and pink petals standing out against the green leaves surrounding them. You took them from him and watched as he replaced the flowers in his hand with your luggage, insisting on carrying them for you. He wore a multi-colored flannel, the material stretching over his back and shoulders as he lifted your bags. You stood back, mesmerized, as he led you toward the parking garage.

“Thank you again,” you said. “I know you had a long work day, so thank you for driving out here.”

Joel looked over his shoulder and smiled at you. You noticed the scruff on his face was a bit grown out from the last time you saw him, but those bare patches still stood strong. There was a strange urge inside you to kiss them and feel the warmth of the skin underneath.

“It’s no trouble at all,” he said.

His truck was parked far back in the parking lot, which made the walk together longer than you expected. The smell of the flowers enveloped you as you held them close to your chest. You could only count a handful of times Bennett had gotten you flowers and could count even fewer times he actually picked you up from the airport. Any time you went home to visit family, which was far and few, he used the excuse of work to avoid being there for you.

Joel lifted your luggage into the backseat of his truck, turning to you once he shut the door. He spoke your name softly, staring down at you as you gave him a curious look.

“Well, since you’re home now, I’m just gonna ask it,” he started. “Would you go out to dinner with me?”

“I’d love that,” you smiled, a blush crawling up your neck.

“Good,” he nodded. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Wait, you mean right now?”

Joel leaned closer to you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I told you I’m a patient man, but I ain’t waitin’ any longer. So get your stubborn ass in my truck, and let me take you out.”

“You’re relentless, Mr. Miller,” you rolled your eyes.

Joel opened the passenger door for you, waiting patiently as you climbed in and buckled yourself.

“I’m gonna make sure you stop callin’ me that by the end of the night,” he said, his eyes trained on you.

Your breath stalled, and you wondered about the meaning behind his words. Joel probably didn’t mean it sexually, but that’s exactly where your brain went. This was only a date, nothing more, nothing less. You were already giving into him with this; you wouldn’t give in any more than that—no matter how badly you might want to.

“We’ll see, Mr. Miller,” you smirked.

Joel’s brown eyes darkened at your challenge, and you hoped he didn’t notice how your thighs clenched to quell the warmth pooling inside your stomach. You were staying strong on this one; saying his name meant giving up control entirely. If you gave up the control, you’d give up everything, and you weren’t sure if you could do that to yourself—not yet, at least.

You made small talk with Joel on the drive to his chosen restaurant. It was a casual steakhouse, but you were obviously underdressed from being on a plane for nearly four hours. Joel wasn’t much better either; his attire always seemed too casual and messy. Oddly enough, it was growing on you. You couldn’t imagine him wearing suits or dress-casual attire; it didn’t suit his persona. He was rugged through and through, and you liked that. You had judged him so early on, but the carefree way he carried himself amplified your attraction to him. Bennett always wore some bullshit suit and tie for work, looking overdressed and uncomfortable. Whenever he wasn’t working—which was rare—he still looked like a pretentious East Coast snob with his dress slacks and polo. God, the more you thought about it, the more it pissed you off.

Once Joel and you were seated at a table and ordered, you found yourself squirming in your seat. Joel’s eyes were warm and unwavering in the restaurant's lighting as he focused on you. With his hands folded on the table, he kept his body pressed forward just to get closer to you.

“So, I know y’told me you had sisters,” he started. “Beth and Stella, right?”

“Mhmm,” you nodded, sipping the red wine before you. You hadn’t planned on drinking, but your body demanded some sort of aid in numbing the nerves coursing through your veins. “Stella is the youngest. She’s eighteen. She graduated high school this year and started attending Boston College in September. Beth is two years younger than me and works in graphic design for a company in downtown Boston.”

“If Beth is two years younger, that makes you…”

“I’m twenty-seven, Mr. Miller,” you chuckled.

Joel’s eyes widened a bit, most likely as he realized the age gap between you both. Clearly, he had to have noticed by now, but his reaction was still comical. You nervously bit your lip, wondering if the distance between your age would make him less interested. It’s only a date, you reminded yourself. He wasn’t interested in you that much.

“Shesh,” he whistled, leaning back into his chair. “I ain’t take you to be that young.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” you muttered.

He shook his head, reaching for his beer, and you watched him take a long sip before responding.

“No, it’s not like that,” he reassured. “Y’just surprise me, that’s all.”

“How so?” You asked, leaning forward.

“Y’act so mature sometimes,” he explained. “You’re big on actin’ professional and adult-like.”

“It’s my job,” you said.

“Bein’ a teacher shouldn’t stop you from enjoyin’ your twenties,” he countered.

You sighed, nodding along to his words. A lot of things had stopped you from enjoying your twenties, like a particular asshole you thought you’d spend your life with. Being young and careless was never something in the cards for you, and honestly, the closest thing you had gotten to that was the night Joel saw you at the bar.

“Do you feel like being a young dad did the same for you?” You asked.

Joel inhaled sharply, scratching the back of his neck. You began to realize he did that a lot; in nervous moments, in moments he was deep in thought, in moments he felt awkward. Right now, you assumed it was because he was trying to formulate some sort of response.

“I ain’t really had a choice in it. When Sarah’s mom left, I was pretty lost tryna do the ‘dad’ thing. I had to juggle between work and bein’ present, and Tommy was young then, too, so he couldn’t help much. I just tried my best and learned as I went.”

“How old is Tommy?”

“Younger than you,” Joel laughed. “He’s twenty-five.”

“Oh gosh, you guys have a big age gap, too.”

“That we do.”

The waiter brought your meals, forcing the chit-chat to stall while you indulged in the steak and side dishes in silence. Occasionally, Joel would hum as he ate, glancing up at you to see your reaction to the flavors as well. You returned his curious eyes with soft smiles, indulging in how he looked at you like you were something he hungered for far more than the food in front of him. When the plates cleared and your napkins were disposed of, Joel asked the waiter for another round of drinks so that you both had no option but to remain seated in each other's company.

“What made you want to be a teacher?” He asked, smoothing down the flannel over his stomach.

Your eyes caught onto the movement of his hand as it brushed down his navel, the veins flexing as he readjusted himself in his chair. Joel dipped his head slightly to draw your attention back to his soft eyes, and you instantly felt caught in your actions.

“I’m not sure, honestly. I’ve always loved literature, and the idea of teaching young kids about it just seemed appealing. There’s a lot of power in words, you know? I want to show them that.”

“That’s pretty poetic of you to say,” he smirked.

“Well, I hope so. I literally teach poetry for a living.”

Joel chuckled quietly, the lines around his eyes crinkling as his smile stretched across his face. Was it terrible that you were picturing him kissing you? Despite every thought in your head that shouted at you not to think about it, it was all you could focus on.

“Do you enjoy your job?” You countered.

“I do, most days. Tommy and I are tryna start up our own business one day, but it ain’t in the cards yet. I need to save up a bit more and hopefully work on gettin’ permits and all that before I can actually do it,” he explained.

“I believe in you,” you said softly. “You’re a hard worker, Mr. Miller.”

“Well, thank you.” His cheeks reddened at your words.

Both of you sat in comfortable silence for a moment, stealing shy glances and laughing at the emptiness of words. Joel had said he wanted to get to know you more, but the questions seemed far and few. In your mind, you considered that a second date could be in the cards, seeing as though neither of you had yet tired of the other. Even in the quiet moments, Joel had remained completely enraptured by you, never letting his eyes stray too far from yours.

“Y’ready to get home?” He asked once the bill was paid for.

“I suppose so,” you shrugged.

Joel’s hand was firm on your lower back as he guided you out of the restaurant and back to his truck. The featherlike touch against your clothed skin was enough to awaken that warmth back into your body, the feeling of it blooming inside you with each step. Inside the truck, you watched as the streets blurred past as Joel drove toward your home. The night was ending, yet you still ached at the thought of him leaving. You didn’t dare to take anything further, and you still didn’t know if that was something he wanted—or if it was something you wanted.

Seeing your tiny home was a breath of fresh air as Joel put his truck in park. You gathered the flowers from the seat and quietly helped him unload your luggage. The tension between you thickened with each step as you approached the front door. Turning to him, you smiled and squeezed his arm.

“Thank you,” you said, hesitating by the door. “For tonight and everything.”

Joel’s eyes sparkled under your porch light, the darkness of his irises illuminated and dancing in the shadows. He had shrugged off his flannel after hauling your luggage from the truck, and now it hung over his arms, exposing the corded veins running from his hands to his biceps.

“Of course,” he said your name softly. “Y’look beautiful tonight, by the way. I can’t remember if I told you that or not, but really, you’re beautiful.”

Your cheeks warmed at the compliment, and there was no way of hiding the redness creeping over your face and neck. He watched you with a hungry gaze, his eyes roaming your body. Even if you only stood in a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans, Joel looked at you like you were bare before him.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “I—I know I look like shit, but thank you.

“Y’definitly don’t look like shit,” Joel insisted. “I’ll plan another date so y’can get all dolled up and look even more beautiful.

“That’s not really necessary. I mean the dressing up part, not the date part. I’d like to go on another date.” You were rambling at this point.

“Sure it is. The world deserves to see y’look beautiful, even if I want to keep you to myself selfishly.”

“Stop it,” you blushed. “Go get home before it gets too late.”

“You tryna get rid of me that quick?”

“I know how much you enjoy talking,” you laughed.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he grinned, turning to leave. “Y’have a good night, okay?”

“I will. Goodnight, Joel.”

Then you realized what you had said.

He realized it, too.

“Y—,” Joel cut himself off. Shaking his head, he let his flannel fall to the ground. “Fuck it,” he whispered.

Joel swarmed you, pressing you against the door as his hands came up to cup your face. Without a second to breathe, his lips crashed against yours until stars sparked behind your eyes. His mouth was warm as he devoured you slowly, drinking in every noise you made. Every one of your senses was evaded by him: the scent of his cologne drifting over your body, the heat of his skin against yours, the sound of his mouth breathing into yours. You found yourself hesitant at first, adjusting to the hardness of his body pressed against yours. He must have also realized it, his mouth slowing as he pulled away.

“I—shit,” he muttered. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Your fingers crawled up his chest and gripped at the collar of his shirt, hauling him back to you until your mouth was a breath away from his.

“Just shut up and kiss me again,” you whispered.

Then his lips pressed against yours again, this time frantic and all-consuming. You opened your mouth to him, letting him taste the vulnerability spilling out of you, replacing it with desperation you hadn’t yet dared to feel. Your tongue darted out to brush over his bottom lip, and he captured it in another greedy kiss, intertwining himself with you. Joel’s hands moved to tangle in your hair, his fingers lightly pulling as he drew you in closer. Your hands wound their way around his neck; your chest flush against his until all you could feel was the rapid beating of his heart matching yours. There was no way of telling where he began and you ended; you both had melted into one. Lips, teeth, tongue… over and over again, the motion repeated, and you felt the warmth creeping up your spine the more he moved against you. You sunk your teeth into his lip, tugging it slightly, as you pulled away to gasp for air.

“Joel,” you exhaled, panting softly.

“Yeah, baby?” His voice was rough as he pressed his forehead to yours.

“What are we doing?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t wanna stop.”

He lowered his lips to kiss down your neck, the chill of his mouth on you prickling your skin. You couldn’t form any words to tell him to stop. You didn’t want him to stop. You were mindless and boneless in his strong grasp, completely untethered from your control. All you could focus on was the way his mouth roamed over the column of your neck, the veins that your blood rushed through throbbing under his lips. Joel’s hand traveled back around, his thumb tipping your jaw upwards so that he could kiss more of your skin. Your eyes blinked at the flickering bulb of your porch light, the sound of crickets chirping somewhere in the distance. His tongue traced a line up your neck, his teeth nipping against your jaw. You let out a soft whine as his mouth connected to yours again, the passion between you snapping into place.

The night wasn’t ending here. You needed more. The craving was too intense to keep at bay, and you needed him in ways you had been too afraid to admit. Your fingers wound themselves into the curls at the base of his neck, holding him firm against you as you grinned into his open mouth.

“Come inside,” you mumbled against his moving lips.

You fumbled blindly for your keys, twisting around to unlock your door; all the while, Joel kept his lips on any part of your skin he could find. He reached around you to shove the door open, and with one arm wound around your waist, you both tumbled over the threshold.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x teacher!f!reader #joel x reader #joel x f!reader #joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel tlou #tlou #joel miller pre outbreak #pre outbreak!joel #pls dont hate me for this one guys

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broooooo · 7 months

Text

Dronehood

____________________

In today's world , the world has been slowly taken over by drones, whether it was by force, choice or persuasion, men are being converted, covered in a shiny black latex, a second skin, a well built muscled body, constantly aroused and hard. The mind does seem to remain keeping the hosts personality, but there's a big focus of obeying the master and the pleasure of dronehood

At first the world was scared, but as the drone army expanded, it slowly became normal, as if it's a rite of passage for teenage, adult men. It's even become a kind of entertainment to watch a conversion happen, could inspire others , or worn them.

Then there's me

I am Aaron, 21, regular build, living in an apartment, IV never been opposed to the drone movement. It's interesting to watch.

Deep down I wouldn't mind becoming a drone myself, it genuinely sounds fun.

Iv watched my childhood friend, Jason, become one before my eyes, he had wanted it for a while, and decided to get a slow conversion, he wanted to experience all the feelings grow and build.

The conversion itself is simple, intercourse with a drone, you may or may not include leather articles of clothing such as gloves or boots for extra pleasure. When it's done, the new drone is given a serial number name, but can keep their human name for interactions with others, plus they can take off their head mask for easy identification.

I myself don't leave my room a lot, i just watch from my TV or the window, hearing it through my walls too at times. Jason's my roommate, but he's never home, he's busy converting others or just hanging out with other drones.

Somewhat makes me jealous, before his conversion , we were the same, locked in your rooms not doing much, it honestly is a better life for him, and I'm happy,

It's possible to request a drone conversion, many have done it, Idk why I haven't done it yet, I guess I want to keep my peace for a little while, but ik at some point it will get too much to bear and then I will know I'm ready.

_________________

It was a normal day for me, watching my conversions , and contemplating life. When suddenly I hear the front door open, I rush out to see him, Jason standing in the door way, his heavy leather boots stomping on the floor as he closes the door. He looks at me, I haven't seen his have a week's.

JASON!?* ITS been so long, how.. have you been?*

He smiles and embraces me in a hug

*Iv been well, I missed you*

My face goes flush red, as I hug him back.

His latex skin is soft and shiny , the feel of hard muscles, it makes my heart race.

We pull away and I ask*

What are you doing here Jason?* Don't you have missions ?*

Jason laughs and says * well I do live here, plus even drones need rest.*

I answer back"

Well that makes sense , yeah*

Jason goes sit on the couch to watch TV.

*mind getting me a sparkling lemon water Aaron?.

Oh? Ok sure , I'll make us both one *

I go the kitchen, fill two cups with soda and prepare to cut lemons, during all this my mind races with thoughts, the sudden appearance of Jason and the feeling of his skin, it felt great. I feel hot, almost dreaming of it

As I'm cutting lemons the knife slips and cuts my hand, breaking me out of my dream like state

GAH*

Jason turns and runs up to me concerned

Are you ok?*

I'm fine just cut my self.

I go to clean up the blood and find a bandage, but problem, we where out of bandages

*darn we're out of bandaids.

Well I have a suggestion*

I turn around to see Jason's bear hand outstretched holding a latex glove.

You took it off? Isn't that yours?

Don't worry, I get a new one, my body can create it naturally.

I look at the glove as I hold it, it's soft,

The glove has a healing effect to it, it protects us drones from major injuries.

Huh, convenient , as I smile* thanks

I put the glove over my disinfected hand, I move my fingers about feeling it, it was soft, silky and comfortable.

So this is how it feels?* I say

Yeah, it's quite the sensation isn't it?,

Very much so, no wonder many ppl become drones.

Jason helps me finish the drinks and we go sit on the couch together.

Have you thought about dronehood much Aaron?

I turn to him and choke a little ,

Have I thought about it? It's ALL I can think about xd* I say with laughter, I observe it happen from my room, since your never hear.

And before you ask, no, I don't think I'm ready yet.

Jason looks into this drink and back up to me, he leans a hand over to touch my shoulder,

He smiles and says, * when you're ready then, no force, I want you to enjoy it as much as possible.

I peek up, *I KNEW IT, you planned this, laughing.

You were always a trickster you, we both laugh

Well Aaron , I. Do hope you enjoy that glove, it will help you decide, I'm sure of it.

I turn to look out the window and smiles

*thanks, i-, will definitely have an answer soon I'm sure.

___________

Afterwards we hang out the rest of day, it was a fun reunion, full of talk and catching up untill sun down

We both go to bed , crashing instantly as I'd been so tired after today.

The next day Jason and I bid farewell as he leaves for a mission.

I'm left alone and go to my room , sitting on my bedroom couch

_____

Hm, planed or not, I'm happy I have this glove. I turn on the TV to watch some more conversions

I feel hot and steamy imagining it, before I know it I'm rubbing my bulge with the gloved hand , my dick getting erect from what pleasure I can muster,

And idea popped into my head, I head over to Jason's room, and my mind was validated when I saw them, an extra pair of leather boots,

*planned this too Jason? Well idc, thanks*

We happen to be the same size, even so is force my feet into them, the boots go up to my kne, tall and shiny, sliding my feet in, my heart and mind are racing , my dick is rock hard , the sensations are over powering, I lace them up tight, whist I remove my clothing.

I stand up to look to the mirror, naked with only a latex glove and leather boots on, the weight of the boots and the tightness, protecting me, I go to my bed,I start to edge off slowly, aroused to high heavens and enjoying it all. Whilst the sounds of conversions from the TV hum in the background.

I never realized it but the dream like state I was in of edging and leaking lasted 3 days, I was covered in pre, drooling and gooing out, the latex glove and boots has started to spread up my legs and arm, then came Jason, he stood in my bedroom doorway, smiling, he comes over and jumps on top of me, squeezing my nipples hard

I moan hard and leak over me

*ready Aaron?*

Laughing through the intense pleasure ,

*hehe yeah. Convert me friend* I'm ready*

Jason's glowing purple eyes look into mine,

___________

Jason's hard latex dick at the ready, and with a passionate kiss it commences, what felt like a. Eternity, lasted a week of slow intense sex and conversion. As I expected it all

By the end of it, we and the bed were wet in pre, drool and juices, through the days, the latex nanites from Jason's dick slowly transformed my body, spreading the latex all over whist giving my muscle to fit, the climax of the conversion was then.

Jason fucking my tight ass, we both prepared for it , cum

It was a screech of intense pleasure, black nantite filled cum sprayed in ropes out our dicks, lasting 69 minutes of constant cumming, fucking and kissing, and the cum pool around us and soak back up into our bodies, , strengthening the conversion.

When it was all over , we lay there together tired and in love

My eyes start to glow to an intense blue. My mind was reshaped and ready,

Looking to Jason's eyes I say.

* I am ready to obey , ready to spread , ready to cum alongside you *

Jason smiles and kisses me, *ik.. drone 6923..*

My eyes flash, * yes... My new name.. thank you..

Drone 8696..*

___________

In the end we two drones, continued to make out intensely, passionately, never running out of cum

Untill the next mission is handed to us, and. I join Jason on my first crusade, We will enjoy each other forever.

______

: D

I enjoyed this one , genuinely think it's one of my best works yet

Hope you enjoy it, fellow drones

583 notes · View notes

totaly-obsessed · 3 months

Text

Big Shoes to fill

Leah Williamson x reader request

pt. 1 here

-> Leah invites her struggling sister to live with her in London, where they support each other through healing and new friendships.

-> A very late pt.2. Please let me know what you think of it! If ya'll are interested I could make a pt.3 of reader meeting the team.

-> Just tagging you guys because you asked for a pt.2 in the comments of pt.1: @the-nameless-queen, @the-hottest-avenger-loves-soccer, @abcdefghijklmmopkrstuvwxyz

-> also a very big thank you to @alotofpockets and @greynatomy who read over it for me and helped with ideas - much love!

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Leah sat there, stunned by the weight of her sister's words. She had always known that things weren't easy for you, but she never imagined the extent of the struggles you faced. The guilt of not being there for her little sister when she needed her the most washed over the footballer like a tidal wave.

"I'm so sorry, Bug," Leah whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "I had no idea you were going through all of this alone."

You shrugged, trying to downplay the situation, ignoring the shame that showed in the redness of your face. "It's okay, Lee. I didn't want to burden you with my problems."

Leah shook her head, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "No, it's not okay. I should have been there for you. I should have noticed. I'm supposed to be your big sister, for God's sake."

You reached out and took Leah's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You're here now, that's what matters."

Leah sniffled, trying to compose herself. "I promise, things are going to change. I'll talk to Mom and Dad, and we'll figure this out together."

You managed a small smile, feeling a glimmer of hope for the first time in a long while. "Thanks, Lee. "I appreciate it."

Leah pulled you into a tight hug, holding onto you as if she never wanted to let go. "I love you, Bug. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

And in that moment, as the rain continued to fall outside, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you wouldn't have to face them alone. With Leah by your side, you felt stronger than ever before. And together, you were ready to take on whatever life threw your way.

When she was back in London and your parents were home again, Leah couldn't shake the feeling of responsibility that weighed heavily on her shoulders. She knew she couldn't let her sister continue to struggle alone, not when she finally understood the depth of your pain. After numerous conversations with her parents, Leah made a decision.

"Bug, I want you to come live with me in London," Leah said one evening when you were staying with her after watching an Arsenal game, her voice filled with determination.

You blinked in surprise, not expecting such a sudden idea. "But what about Mom and Dad? Won't they be worried?"

Leah shook her head. "They understand, they want what's best for you, and right now, that means being with someone who can support you fully."

A mixture of emotions washed over you, uncertainty mingled with relief. The thought of leaving your childhood home was daunting, but the prospect of starting fresh in a new environment with your sister by your side was undeniably appealing.

"I don't know, Leah. What about your life here? Your career?" you asked, concerned about uprooting your sister's life for your sake.

Leah smiled reassuringly. "My career doesn’t need to stop. You're my family, and family comes first. Plus, I could use some company in this big old house of mine."

Unbeknownst to you, she actually wasn’t all that alone in her house, a certain brunette spent most of her time there as well.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the depth of Leah's love and sacrifice for you. "Thank you, Leah. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Leah pulled you into a warm embrace, holding you close. "You'll never have to find out, Bug. We're in this together."

And so, with the support of your parents and the unwavering love of your sister, you packed your bags and prepared to embark on a new chapter in London. As you looked out the window of the car, watching the familiar scenery of your hometown fade into the distance, you felt a sense of excitement and anticipation for the adventures that lay ahead with your sister by your side.

Things were finally looking up.

—

Leah steered her car through the familiar streets of London, eventually turning onto a quieter road lined with rows of cozy houses. The neighborhood exuded a sense of tranquility, a stark contrast to the bustling city center. As Leah parked the car in the driveway of her quaint home, you couldn't help but feel a sense of relief wash over you.

Stepping out of the car, you stretched your limbs and took in the familiar surroundings. Leah's house, though not extravagant, emanated a sense of warmth and comfort that immediately put you at ease. The exterior was adorned with climbing ivy and cheerful flower beds, adding a touch of charm to the neighborhood.

With your bags in hand, you followed Leah up the front steps and through the front door. The air inside was filled with the comforting scent of your sister and well-loved furniture that you remember from her old room. The living room greeted you with plush couches arranged around a cozy fireplace, inviting you to sink into their embrace.

It’s surprisingly tidy here, but you could make out two empty cups on the coffee table, an arsenal sweatshirt with a 13 on it, and so many sneakers by the door, that they couldn’t just be Leah’s.

"Here we are," Leah said, turning to you with a smile. "Home sweet home."

You returned her smile, feeling a sense of gratitude for the familiar surroundings. "It's perfect, Leah. Thank you for inviting me."

Leah's smile widened as she led you through the house, showing you to your temporary room. The space was simple but inviting, with a comfortable bed and a large window overlooking the lush backyard. Of course, a little goal was set up. Was this even Leah’s home if there was no goal?

—

The first day with Leah was a whirlwind of emotions and new experiences. As you woke up in her cozy home, sunlight filtering through the curtains, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the warmth and comfort of your surroundings. This felt more like home than the place you had grown up in.

Downstairs, Leah greeted you with a warm smile and a hearty breakfast (the only thing she was confidently able to make), eager to show you around her neighborhood and introduce you to her favorite spots. Together, you explored the quaint streets, stopping to chat with neighbors and browse through local shops before getting a snack in a quaint little café.

With a “Lia always takes the croissant, they’re good.”, you had been convinced easily enough. And the Swiss was correct, the croissants were indeed very good.

Throughout the day, Leah made sure you felt right at home, regaling you with stories from her own adventures in the city and sharing her favorite memories of growing up together. With each passing hour, you felt more and more at ease in your sister’s company, grateful for her unwavering support and understanding.

As the day drew to a close, you found yourself curled up on the couch with Leah, sipping hot tea and sharing laughs over stories of her teammates. In that moment, surrounded by the warmth and love of your sister, you knew that you were exactly where you were meant to be.

But it would not be life if things didn't get worse again.

As the days turned into weeks, you found yourself slipping deeper into the shadows of your own mind. Despite Leah's best efforts to create a loving and supportive environment, the wounds from your past continued to fester, leaving you feeling lost and alone.

Trauma and abandonment issues weighed heavily on your soul, casting a dark shadow over even the brightest moments you shared with your sister. The memories of being ostracized and bullied at school haunted you, triggering waves of anxiety and self-doubt that seemed impossible to overcome.

Leah watched with a heavy heart as you retreated further into yourself, the light in your eyes dimming with each passing day. She tried to offer words of comfort and encouragement, but they seemed to fall on deaf ears, lost in the endless void of your pain.

It hurts to see you suffer, not knowing how to help. So she chose to confront you after talking to Lia in depth about it, not knowing what to do. She ended up seeking a conversation on how to change things, on how to help you. Together, you found a therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and abandonment issues, hoping that they could provide you with the support and guidance you so desperately needed.

As you began your journey towards healing, your sister remained by your side every step of the way, offering a steady hand to hold onto in the darkest of times. Slowly but surely, you started to unravel the tangled web of emotions that had ensnared your heart, finding solace in the love and support of your family.

—

When the new school year started you were deemed well enough to start at the new school. Leah had asked if you wanted to do online school instead, but both your therapist and you didn’t think that to be a good idea.

The transition to a new school was daunting and filled with uncertainty and anxiety. You couldn't shake the memories of past experiences, the taunts and jeers of classmates echoing in your mind like a cruel refrain. But as you stepped into the halls of your new school, you were met with a surprising kindness that took you off guard.

The kids here were different. They didn't make fun of you or hurl insults your way. Instead, they greeted you with smiles and open arms, eager to welcome you into their midst. It was a stark contrast to the hostile environment you had grown accustomed to, and it filled you with a sense of relief and gratitude.

As time went by, you found yourself slowly but surely coming out of your shell, emboldened by the kindness and acceptance of your peers. You made new friends, shared laughs, and discovered a sense of belonging that you had never known before.

Leah watched with pride as you flourished in your new environment, her heart swelling with joy at the sight of your radiant smile. She knew that the road ahead would still be challenging, filled with ups and downs, but she also knew that you were strong enough to face whatever came your way.

When one day you came home telling her all about two new girls you met, she was so ecstatic that she couldn’t help but cry about it to the Swiss brunette who had a permanent spot at your dinner table. The blonde had refrained from taking you to training as of now, leaving you space to breathe and be alone. With that you couldn’t just call Kyra and Alessia your friends and call it a day, you needed your own.

—

After spending weeks bonding with Charlie and Mia, you couldn't wait to introduce them to your sister Leah. One afternoon, you invited them over to Leah's house for a casual hangout, eager to share your newfound friendships with her.

As Charlie and Mia arrived at Leah's doorstep, you greeted them with a smile and led them inside. Leah welcomed them warmly, offering snacks (that you had made) and drinks as the four of you settled into the cozy living room. They wanted to get to know the sister you couldn’t shut up about.

You watched nervously as Charlie and Mia chatted with Leah, hoping that they would hit it off. To your relief, the conversation flowed easily, with laughter filling the room as they exchanged stories and shared jokes.

"So, how did you two meet?" your sister asked, her eyes flickering between them.

Charlie, a vibrant and outgoing girl, grinned and began the story. "Well, Mia and I actually met in our science class. We were paired up for a project, and the rest is history."

Mia nodded, chiming in, "Yeah, Charlie swooped in to save the day when I accidentally mixed up my chemicals. She's been my lab partner and best friend ever since."

Leah chuckled, nodding in understanding. "It sounds like you two make a great team."

You couldn't help but jump in, eager to share your own thoughts. "They really do. Charlie and Mia have been amazing friends to me since I started at this new school."

Leah's eyes softened as she turned her attention to you. "That's wonderful to hear, Bug. I'm so glad you've found some great friends."

You nodded, feeling a surge of gratitude for your sister's support, and thanks to your therapy, you were not afraid to tell them. "Yeah, they've been really supportive. And it's nice to have them here with you."

Leah smiled, her gaze shifting between the three of you. "Well, you're all welcome here anytime. It's nice to see you so happy, Bug."

—

A couple of days later Leah came home from training to you making dinner in the kitchen. Instead of sitting down or waiting she stood in the doorway joking about your apron. Conversation in the middle of doing something was always the best.

As the conversation flowed effortlessly among you, Leah's eyes sparkled with an idea. "You know, Bug, my teammates have been asking about you. They've heard so much about my little sister and they're dying to meet you."

Your heart skipped a beat at Leah's suggestion. Meeting Leah's teammates felt like a significant step, a symbol of how far you'd come since arriving in London. The thought both excited and intimidated you.

Leah must have noticed the mix of emotions flickering across your face because she quickly added, "But only if you're comfortable with it. I don't want to pressure you into anything."

She knew that you had talked to most of them before. But it had always been brief and at the side of the pitch, signing a shirt for you and taking a picture. Aside from Lia, who had been at the house just the evening prior.

You took a moment to consider Leah's offer, the warmth of her support comforting you. With a newfound sense of confidence, you nodded eagerly. "I'd love to meet them, Leah. It sounds like fun."

Leah's smile widened, and she reached out to squeeze your hand. "Great! I'll arrange a get-together with the team. I know they'll love you just as much as I do."

Meeting her teammates felt like the next natural step in your journey of growth and self-discovery, and you were ready to embrace it with open arms.

#woso #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines #arsenal wfc x reader #engwnt x reader #lionesses x reader #woso community #leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson imagine

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spidybaby · 8 months

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golden child part 3!!!<3

Golden Child | part 3

Summary: As your relationship with Pedro progresses, the relationship you have with your brother is in a limbo.

Warnings: cursing.

A/N: Hello, this was fun to write. Even tho it took me a lot more than I was expecting. Buuuut, I do hope you like this 😋💛

Also, special mention to @gadriezmannsgirl girly luv yu 💛

Part one | Part Two

"Tell me, where do you think all of this started?"

"The exact time?"

"No, but since you remember."

"I think I was six. Not sure, but I remembered that the first time I felt some kind of envy was when we got our grades back. She was the best of the three."

He paused for a moment. He was trying to remember, remember the way he felt.

"I tried my best, but that wasn't enough. No matter how much I studied, it did not matter. My mom asked my sister to help me with math one time, and I felt so stupid. I was the star on the field, but at home, I felt like I didn't matter."

"Do you think your parents focused more on your sister than on you?"

"No. Mom and dad dedicated all the time they had on the same level. They did what they thought was best. They worked so hard for us."

"And your other sister?"

"Aurora to me was a safe place." He smiles, thinking about her. "She was the shoulder to cry, the arms to go to after a good or bad day. She was home."

"I want to ask, do you feel you were outshine in your family? Not by mom or dad, by maybe the rest?"

"Well, I don't know if outshine is the term I'll go for. I think sometimes we were put against each other."

"In what way?"

"If I score at a game and got the team to win, my family was there to remind us that she was the best grade of all the cousins, siblings. But if she won a trophy for a science fair or something. They were there to congratulate me for the medal I got. Ignoring her."

"And how that made you feel?"

"Like I needed to win everything. Be better than her." He confesses, saying that outloud for the first time. "I wanted to feel like I was making them proud."

"You mentioned someone here, a friend from childhood. You blame her for making him leave. Why?"

"Arturo, he was my best friend. One night, he told me that he never wanted to see me or her again. He wanted nothing to do with us. And the commo denominator there was her."

"What happened after that?"

"I treated her like crap." He sighs, covering his face. "I used to be so mean, such and asshole."

"Elaborate on what you did to her."

"Bueno que también era un niño y no supe manejar mis emociones." (I was a kid who didn't control his emotions) he shrugs. "I used to pull her hair, I used to pinch her, I used to hurt her not only physically but emotionally. And I regret that."

"Why do you regret it?"

"Because I thought that hurting her was going to make me feel better. That's why I isolate myself from her. Because even though I felt good when I was a kid. It didn't as I grew up. And I was too dumb to recognize that."

"You told me that your sister Aurora tried to remedy things."

"She did. She used to play mediator with us, and at the time, I was fifteen. And I used to think that it was fun making her whine and cry. I thought it was a play from her. But I was only hurting our relationship more and more."

"And Aurora never told you anything in private?"

"She tried. But I cut her off leaving the room or not hearing her."

"Talk to me about the last fight."

"I got injured, right. So I needed to be taken care of, mom couldn't. Dad couldn't. Aurora couldn't. So, mom called her, and she helped me. But I-"

He takes a moment to continue. Lying was one thing, thing he thought was okay. Now that he admits he fucked up, it was a hard pill to swallow.

"I told my friends that she was my cousin. And while helping me, she and my friend Pedro got close during this time, Pedro told her about the lies I said. And she didn't say anything. Not to him, not to me. When he found out about it, he confronted me about it. And told me friends didn't lie to each other."

"Take your time. Breathe."

"I felt like the night Arturo left because of my sister. I went home, yelled at her, and well, hurt her."

"How do you feel now?"

"Como un hijo de puta, I feel so fucking bad, because my parents think it's on them, because Aurora can't even be around me, because Pedro and I don't even talk and because I think she will never speak to me in her life." (like an asshole)

"Okay, let's take a breath before continuing."

- three months later

"Pablo, are you joining us?" Javi asks him, entering the room without knocking. "Get up, let's go."

"No."

"Get your lazy ass up."

Javi grabs the pillow Pablo is using, hitting him with it.

"Con una mierda, Javi."

"Oh, don't get fussy, let's go. We're waiting for you."

"We? It's more like you 'cause Aurora is definitely not."

"If you're not down in five, I'll come back with ice cold water."

Pablo and Aurora haven't talked in months. She will do anything in her power not to talk with him. Asking his parents or boyfriend to deliver the message. Texting instead of talking. Everything.

You told her that was totally unnecessary, but she wanted to keep a silent vow. And she was doing such a splendid job in her brothers opinion.

"Hola."

Pablo noticed the way his sister quieted down once he joined. He hates it.

"Finally, we were about to leave." Javi says, excited to get the two siblings together. "Eat something, we're living in ten."

Aurora and Javi planned this hiking trip two weeks ago, but Javi wanted Pablo to join them, wanting to be the one to get these two on talking mode again.

When they left, Aurora was in charge of the music, always playing something she could sing, so she didn't give any opportunity for Pablo to engage.

The hiking was great. They were climbing this place that was open for hikers. The view was beautiful and the air was fresh.

"I want a picture of this view. It's amazing."

"So beautiful."

"Take a picture of me, please."

Aurora hands her phone to her boyfriend, but he has other plans. "Hey, I think I drop something. Pablo, take the picture, and I'll go search."

Before they could say anything, he ran a little away from them.

"Okay. Let me take that picture."

"No."

"Rora, por favor. It's just a picture."

She stares at him for a few seconds, handing the device into his hands. Pablo can't help but smile a little, taking the pictures.

"I been going to therapy." Pablo confess, he's proud of the progress he has made. "I've been constant and it's been so much help."

His parents agreed on not telling anyone, letting him choose who to tell. Aurora noticed some changes, mostly his attitude in the field. He was calm and not as aggressive as before.

"I'm sorry," he sighs. "What I did was wrong, the way I reacted. I hurt you, and I regret it."

"You not only hurt me."

"And I'm sorry for that too. But right now, I need to apologize to you."

Aurora stays quiet, a little too long for him to become nervous.

"You know I love you, cabezon." She hugs him. "And I know you're trying to be a better person. You're my baby, and I want the best for you and the best right now is what you're doing."

Javi is smiling from afar, seeing that his plan was successful.

- four months later

"Mami, please. I think I'm ready and I really need to do this."

"Pablito, sorry but no."

"Papá, please help me."

"Sorry, mijo, I'm with mom. We think it is too soon for you to do this."

He buffs, angry at the fact that his parents don't think he's ready to talk with you.

"Fine, I don't care."

But he cares, he wants to apologize, he wants to fix all the things he broke. The therapist told him that if he made a big progress, he had been working on himself.

His whole demeanor changed, and fans have noticed that. He was not that little bomb ready to go off with the minimum touch.

He still has that force and energy on the pitch. Just this time, he's controlling his reactions, choosing his battles.

The whole day, he spent it on his room. He was taking the weekend in Sevilla. He felt needy of love from his family. Needing some homemade food, some quality time with his father.

"Hey, cabezon. Dinner is ready."

"I'm not hungry."

"Pablo, what's going on?"

"I want to talk with Y/n, I feel ready to apologize. But mom and dad don't think the same."

"Ay pablito," Aurora patt his arm. "I know you feel ready, I really do. But in my opinion, you need a little bit more time."

"Just give me her number, please."

"Cabezon, we're not doing this. Let's go eat."

"I don't like you guys." He says, getting inside the bathroom.

- five months later

"Gavi, Pedri, Fermin." Xavi calls. "You're against Araujo, Ale and Robert."

"Pedri, do you wanna be on the center?" Fermin asks. "Let's do this, I'll go for Ronald, Pablo can attack Ale and you Robert, vale?"

Pedri and Gavi nod, positioning themselves next to each other. Since the last time they talked, Pedro was distant. If they had to talk, they did, but most of the time, Pedro would be next to Ferran.

The game was fun. The whole team had a good time. But in Pablo's mind, he needed to talk to Pedro, get on good terms with him.

He waited till the end of training, not wanting to ruin the mood. "Pedri"

"Mhm?"

"Can we talk? Please."

Pedro thinks about it for a while. He's not sure if it was the time or place. "Sure, let's just get a shower and then talk."

Pablo agrees, wanting to wait till the others are gone so they can talk alone with no one to bother them.

"Ferran, te veo en casa de Hector. Bye." (I'll meet you at Hector's)

"Okay, platanito. See ya. Bye Gavi."

Pablo waves him goodbye. He's anxious about the talk.

"So." Pedro says, taking the lead. "How are you?"

"Good, it's been good. Can't complain."

"That's great. I notice you're improving with the penalties."

"Yeah, getting better." He smiles. "How is your leg? How are you feeling?"

"So much better, thanks for the recommendation with the doctor. She's a life saver."

"The physio is the best, she knows how to create the best routines."

"And how is your family?"

"They're good, mom and dad are going on a little vacation, and Aurora is staying with me for a few days."

"Qué envidia, yo también quiero unas vacaciones." (What an envy, I want some vacations too) he laughs.

"How is she?" Pablo drops the bomb.

"She's fine."

They both stayed quiet, and the awkward moment grows by the minute.

"I need to ask you a favor."

"Pablo, I don't like where this is going "

"I need to talk to her. Por favor." He begged. "I really need this."

"No, hermano. I can't help you."

"Listen, I really need to speak with my sister."

"With who?" He asks, laughing, the bitterness of his tone is clear. "I thought that for you she wasn't your sister." Pedro, use the words Pablo told you.

You told him what happened after he insisted. You wanted to keep him away from the drama, but he wanted a new start with no lies.

He left Pablo alone in the dressing room. Angry but quiet. He can't deny the surprise he has at his friend being so calm.

- six months later

"I have something for you"

"Another gift?" You ask laughing. "Pedro, you really have to stop with the gifts."

"Never." He leans over to kiss you. "Te quiero." (I love you)

"Te quiero mucho más." (I love you so much more) You return the kiss, grabbing his cheeks to get him even closer. "What is that?"

He hands you the bag. The big white bow makes it look more fancy than it should.

"No, you didn't."

"I hope this covers my debt."

The dress he, in his own words, ruined with his drink at the party, that party where you shared your first kiss and the same night when he made you his own.

"Oh, Pedro!" You throw yourself at him. He receives you with open arms. "You're such a lover boy." Kissing his cheeks, making him laugh.

"I thought I was your golden boy."

"That too."

"C'mon, we don't want the lasagna to burn," He carries you bridal style back to the kitchen. "Again." He whispers the last part, mouth against your cheek, making you laugh.

"Okay, put me down." You kick your legs in the air. "Hey, tomorrow Aurora and I are going to go shopping. And I know your mom's birthday is coming, so tell me some ideas of what can I get her."

"I think she would want you to have dinner with her instead of a gift, mom is more family like, so yeah."

"Pepi." You sigh, "y si cago las cosas con tu madre?" (what if I fuck things up with your mom?)

"Deja de pensar eso. Mis padres te adoran, incluso les caes mejor que Fer." He laughs. (Stop thinking that. My parents love you. They even like you more than Fer.)

"That's good news then." You laugh with him. "Can I have her number then? So I can arrange something with her."

He nods, handing you his phone. The picture he has as a lockscreen is the two of you in a picnic he planned where he asked you to be his girlfriend.

Some fans noticed the new lockscreen and began creating some theories about who you were. You both were very careful with the fans and the pictures. You didn't want to be public, and he respected that. He was also being a very private person.

The two of you had dinner between laughs and funny stories that Pedro shared with you. You loved how he always plans nights with you even with the little time he has.

🔅🔅🔅

"Javi and I are staying at this amazing airbnb. I need some away time."

"But again, if I mention that I sleep over at Pedro's, you got all crazy."

"I'm not engaging in this talk." She says, walking away to another section of the store.

You both were shopping for her getaway trip, and you loved spending time with her. "Look at this." You grab a one piece that matches her style.

"When are you going back home?"

"Mmm, maybe during this break, I miss everyone. And my room."

You keep looking for something you can get, not liking much of the store.

"I want to ask you, mom, and I are planning this dinner for dad's birthday." She says slowly. "And mom wants to do it at Pablo's. If we decide to make the party there, would you come?"

"I don't know." You mumble. "If it's for him, I would go. You know I don't have a problem with Pablo."

"But?"

"But I don't want to he a burden or create drama."

"You don't create drama Y/n, he does. He always does."

"Always is a little dramatic. He's dumb but not that dumb." You roll your eyes at her.

"A veces creo que eres demasiado buena para todo lo que te ha pasado." (Sometimes I think you're too kind for everything you been through)

"Am I supposed to let this be my villain story?"

"No." She laughs. "Well, to me, that would have been the beginning."

You finish shopping some outfits she put together. Moving yourselves to the food area.

"How are you and Pedro doing?"

"We're good." You blush at the thought of him. "I can't deny you that I'm falling in love with him."

Aurora screams, making some people turn to her. "Rora, stop." You cover your face.

"I can't help it, I've been waiting for this moment since we were kids, and we talked about getting married at the same time in a candy castle."

"A veces te pasas un poco, Rora." (You're a little too much sometimes)

🔅🔅🔅

"Can you turn the AC off? Or pass me your shirt?" You say, getting you head up off the pillow. "Please, it's cold."

"I like you more without it." He walks back to the room with a wet cloth in his hands. He cleaned you slowly, kissing your knees. When he's done he throw the cloth somewhere around his room. He gets back in bed with you. "I love you."

"I love you too." You kiss his cheek, caressing the other one with your tumb. "But turn the AC off."

"Luego me pediras volver a encenderlo" (you will ask me to turn it back on)

He turns on a movie, arms never leaving you. His way of aftercare is touch. He likes being close to you, hands up and down your back, lips on your forehead, hearts in syntony.

This time was no different, one hand on your head, massaging your scalp. Loving the little sounds of satisfaction you make.

His other hand is on you back, drawing little nothings into you. Loving the heat of your body in the cold room.

You kiss his jawline, the raspy feeling on your lips is intoxicating, something you love feeling every time you kiss his cheeks or his jawline.

The movie was playing in the back, you humm the song that's playing in the soundtrack. Lips glued to his skin and hands on his chest, his heartbeat can be felt.

"Let's go to Tenerife this weekend." He breaks the silence between you. "El Mister nos dio cinco días luego de haber ganado. Así que podemos ir por tres o cuatro días si tu quieres." (Mister gave us five days after the win we got, so we can go for three or four if you want)

"Actually, I want to tell you something. I need your opinion."

He waits for you to tell him. You're not sure if bringing the topic is tue right thing to do.

"Mom and Rora are planning this birthday dinner for my dad, and I'm not sure if I want to go."

"You don't want to go to your father's birthday?" He lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "Why?"

"Not that I don't want to go, I do." You sigh tired. "But the thing is that they're hosting the dinner at Pablo's."

He only hummed, not sure what to answer. He's not one to tell you not to go or to force you to go if you don't feel good doing it.

You free yourself from his hold, sitting and looking for his t-shirt. He stretched to the floor, reaching for his shirt and handing it to you.

"I'm undecided." You pouted. "I told Aurora that I want to go, but I'm not sure if Pablo wants me there."

Pedro scratched your back in a confort way. He does this as a way to let you know that he's there and he hears you.

"I don't want any drama, especially not on his birthday."

He thinks about that time in the dressing room when Pablo told him about needing to speak with her.

He didn't tell you about it, mostly because he didn't want you to get triggered about it.

"Pepi," you call him. Taking him out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"I have to tell you something."

You waited a few seconds, but after the seconds turned into minutes you decide to ask him.

"Tell me what?"

"Pablo and I talked."

"Okay, about what?"

"Nada, quiere hablar contigo pero le he dicho que no." (Nothing, he wants to talk with you, and I told him no)

"When did this happen?"

He sighs, not wanting to admit that he hid this from you. "Like a month ago."

You turn to him, his hand rubbing his eyes. "A month?"

You tried to process everything. Pablo was looking to reach you out. "Pedro, por qué no me dijiste?" (why didn't you tell me?)

"I'm honestly not sure, I wanted to, but I just forgot."

"You forgot?" You scuff. Se te olvidó decirme que Pablo está buscándome? Y tu le dijiste que no?" (You forgot to tell me that Pablo was looking for me? And you told him no?)

"I'm trying to protect you."

"Mi amor, you should have told me."

You stayed quiet, both of you did. The only sound is the movie still playing.

Your mind is running a thousand miles per minute, questioning everything. Your forehead frowned.

Your eyes look for Pedro's eyes, his eyes glued to the ceiling. Your expression softens. You know he's very protective.

You stretch your arm, hand grabbing his chin to make him look at you. "Thank you, honestly." You smile. "I know you wanted to protect me, I love you."

His hands reach for yours, bringing it to his lips. "Te quiero, preciosa. I promise I didn't mean to keep this, I just didn't find the right time to tell you."

He opens his arms for you. Smiling sweetly, that smile that you can't say no to. You fall into his arms.

"I don't like when you're sad, and I didn't wanted you to feel forced to talk with him when you weren't ready."

"Stop, I get it." You kiss him to stop him from speaking again. "Does Saturday, Sunday, and Monday sound good to you?"

Hie frowns in confusion, not getting what you mean. "What?"

"You said five days. And the dinner is on Friday so we can visit Tenerife for three days and come back so you can rest on the fifth day."

"Mirame." He says, releasing his grip on you. "You're the best, and I hope you know that you will have to die in order for me to let you go."

"And I hope you know that even if I die, I'll come back to get you and kill you to be with you as ghosts together."

He grabs your cheeks, slamming his lips into you. "Wait." He breaks the kiss. "Would you be nice to me when you kill me?"

"Mmm, not sure. If you make me feel good right now, I'll consider it." You joke, smiling as you sit on his lap, your lips looking for his.

- 30 hours before the party

You stood in front of the door. Code already in, but you can't seem to open it.

"Are you okay?" Aurora asks, she's behind you waiting for you to enter.

You nod. You're not sure if you're really okay. You want to stop thinking of the fight. The memories make your head hurt.

"Hey!"

You turn your head to your boyfriend. Pedro drove you and Aurora to Pablo's House. He wanted to make sure you felt comfortable.

"Hey." You whisper, head inside the window car.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." He reminds you something Aurora told you.

"I want to."

"Okay, I'm going to be around here. If you need me, call me."

You smile, walking fast to his side of the car. "I love you. Please don't park a street away and pretend you were somewhere else."

"Ay Joder, you ruined my plans."

After a kiss goodbye and he promising not stalking from afar. You stand next to Aurora. She opens the door and grab your hand to walk inside.

"Pablo!"

You grab the bag of groceries she has in her hands. Walking to the kitchen to leave them there.

"Someone wants to see you."

"Really, who?"

The steps coming closer to the kitchen are making you nervous. Even when Aurora told you to be calm and that nothing was going to happen, you can't help the feeling.

"You coming?"

You grab her hand, squishing it in a way of comfort. His back is facing you. Even his back has this towering feeling.

"Cabezon," Aurora says, catching his attention.

When he notices you, his whole face changes. His expression is softer, but still having his signature frown.

"Voy a dejarlos solos, así pueden hablar. Estaré arriba." (I'm going to leave you two alone. So you can talk. I'll be upstairs)

The silence is thick. The whole thing was uncomfortable for the two of you.

"I like your shirt." You say, not sure on what else to say.

"Thanks, mom got it for me on my birthday."

"Right. Well, happy belated birthday."

"I still have some candy in the freezer if you want. You like it."

"No, I don't." You shake your head no at the thought.

"You don't? What about all the times you used to freeze the candies when we were kids?"

"Pablo." You sigh. "The one that likes frozen candy is you, I used to freeze it for you, not because I was eating it."

"Oh." He joined his lips, and bit from the inside, thing he does when he's nervous. "I want to say that I'm sorry."

You squeeze your eyes. Was he saying it because he felt it or because mom told him to?

"I made a mistake. And I blame hurted you in a way I never meant to." He walks closer to you. "I'm really sorry, you didn't deserve the way I treated you, the way I hurted you."

"You told me that you hate me." You walk past him to the other side of the room. "And that I'm not a sister to you."

"And I regret doing that. I was wrong."

"You hurt me, and I'm not talking about the things that happened that day, I'm talking about everything you did to me."

"I was angry at you!"

"Why?" You say matching his tone. "To my knowledge, I've done nothing wrong."

"Eras tan jodidamente perfecta y todos te querían." (You were so fucking perfect and everyone loved you) he finally says. "You were the favorite in school. You were so good at everything. And then our family used to be like 《oh but Pablo is only good at football. She's the best at every other thing》 I could help it, I was dying out of envy. I wanted to be you."

You stayed quiet. You knew he didn't like it when family members compared the two of you. Your mom tried to stop it, always reminding him that you were two different people.

"Pablo." You tried to get closer. "You didn't have to be me. You were amazing."

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"Pablito, come here." You open your arms to him.

For the first time in so long, you hug him, his arms squeezed you, his head on your shoulder.

"I need you to believe me. You were and are amazing. Look at you, playing on the team of your dreams, with the national selection. I wish you would have told me this before."

"I'm sorry, I was so angry at you."

"I'm not perfect, Pablo." You caress his back, trying to calm him down. "I'm so far from being perfect. And you know that."

"Well, you don't know how to cook rice."

"Shut up, you eat it."

"No, but I'm really sorry. I don't hate you, and you are my sister."

"It's okay, Pablito."

"No, it's not.' He break the hug. "I was so wrong, all this years. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry for all these years."

"It's okay. We have time to fix this. We can do this together."

"Te quiero, en serio lo hago. Even tho you burn the rice." (I love you, I really do). He says, laughing. "Please, forgive me."

"Te quiero también, siempre lo haré." (I love you too, always do) you hug him again. Enjoying the feeling.

- three days later

"I want to be a mermaid." You laugh as Pedro splash some water on your face. "You definitely be the crab."

"The crab taking care of the very pretty mermaid?"

"I'll make you take care of a manatee."

"Are there any manatees in Spain?" He asks, confused. "Never seen one."

"You're so weird, but I love you like that." You hug him from behind, using him as a personal flootie.

You spent more time in the water, enjoying the vibe of the island. The sun, the air. Everything with him.

"Mamá nos hizo sus famosas croquetas, así que al fin las probaras." (mom made us her famous croquettes. You're finally trying them)

"Maybe I like them more than I like you." You laugh, grabbing his hands and bringing him close. "Or maybe I'll seal the deal with her over her son."

The kissing didn't last long, as Fer went looking for you to bring you over to the tasca.

"Fer, when are you introducing me to your girlfriend?"

"When he finds one." Pedro laughs.

"Hey!" Fer says, poutting. "That's mean."

🔅🔅🔅

The sun is setting, leaving this magical orange tone in the sky. You smile for the picture, Pedro insisted on taking a picture of you.

"You look amazing."

"Take a picture with me."

"Always."

His lips on yours, making you feel like drunk in love.

"You have no idea how in love I am with you." He says, eyes shining with honesty. "I got to thank Pablo for getting injured."

You laugh at his joke. "We got to thank him."

"No, but really. I love you to a way I never thought I would, even if we haven't been together for that long. Your eyes, your hair, your heart, the way you laugh, or the way your eyes shine when you talk about what you love, the way you always make sure everyone is comfortable. The way you love your family. The way you love my family, how you're with Fer. You're just you. And I'm thankful for that.

You feel like crying. Nobody ever loved you the way that he did, never sharing a love so pure and so great.

"And you are you. For me, it's the way you love football, the way you love your mother's food, how funny you are, and how much you turn into a little kid every time we joke around. How much do you work and get better at everything you do. Your accent is beautiful, your love for your family, for your brother, and your love for me. Because I never thought I would find someone like you."

- two months later (Barça vs. RMA)

"I bet that goal was for me." Fer jokes, making you laugh. "The eyes were looking at me."

"Definitely, I think the wink and the kiss were a symbol of brotherhood."

"I hate that you follow my jokes." He shoves you delicately. "Like, get angry or something."

"Don't even try. We grew up with that." Aurora says, pointing at Pablo. "So, not a chance, she's well trained."

"Yeah, the only one who has to worry here is Chris. She's the one that has to put up with him."

"I'm not sure myself." She laughed at the jokes.

Chris is Pablo's girlfriend. He introduce her to Aurora and to you a few weeks ago, and you now bring her around everywhere like a little sister.

The referee announces the end of the match, and the team won. It was a good day for everybody.

"Let's go, señoritas." Fer gets up, offering his arm to you.

"Let's go, señorito." You joke with him.

You waited by the car, talking about the meal Fer prepared before the match and was waiting for you at home.

"Hello, hello." Aurora say to Pedro and Pablo.

"Omg, you guys did amazing!" You hug Pedro, kissing his cheek. "Congratulations, baby."

"Yeah, yeah, kiss kiss, let's go home, I'm hungry."

"You're just jealous of her." Gavi jokes, hitting Fer in the head. "She got your brother."

"I was his go-to, now I'm the seconds one." He fake cries. Making you all laugh.

"And I got your sister." Pedro shoves Gavi's arm playfully.

"Yeah, you better take care of her. If not, you saw how I shoved Vini? That would be you."

"Okay, stop it. Let's go."

You start walking toward Pedro's car, hand in hand with him while Fer was telling him something.

"Oye," Gavi shouts. Making you all turn. "Me darás mi abrazo?" (Do I get a hug, too?) You let go of Pedro's hand, running to your brother. "Venga."

You land in his arms, squeezing him. "I love you, Pablito."

"And I love you." He kisses your cheek, letting you go. "Let's go, I want some of that burned rice."

"Hey!" Fer says, "my rice is not burnt." He makes Pablo and you laugh.

🔅🔅🔅

🏷: @gadriezmannsgirl @percysley @jajajhaahaha @cinderellawithashoe @alwaysclassyeagle @christianpulisic10 @utdmount @lilians17 @urmotheris

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minki-moo · 8 months

Text

♡‧₊˚ 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙚 ♡‧₊˚

pairing ♡ bang chan x f!reader rating ♡ e for explicit tags ♡ older brother's best friend!chan, university au, fluff, very slight angst (reader is just overwhelmed/kinda insecure), pet names (chan calls reader princess, good girl), oral (f.receiving), aftercare w/c ♡ 2.6k

a/n ♡ hai!! this is my first little fic (on here). its based off a lil convo i had with a chan c.ai bot and i had to write something about it >.<

"hey, what's wrong?"

chan looks at you, standing in front of his dorm door at an ungodly hour. you look like a mess; as expected from someone who ran half way across campus.

you look up at chan, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

"i'm-i dont know. i just need to be with someone right now". you take a shaky breath. "i dont wanna be alone."

chans's eyes slightly widen when he sees the tears in your eyes. he gently grabs you by your waist and pulls you inside. "hey hey, listen. it's ok". he moves you to his living room and guides you to his couch, sitting you down. "i'll bring you something to drink and then we can talk about it ok?".

you nod weakly, watching as chan moves to the kitchen. the sight reminds you of your childhood, when your older brother would invite chan over to hang out. chan would often make snacks for them (you included since your brother always had the task of babysitting you), and this scene in front of you was no different.

well, except for the fact that you were always happy back then, cheerful even. but ever since starting university, you've become overwhelmed; the transition and being so so far from home. thank god you were able to get into the same university as chan, or else you would have felt completely alone.

you're shaken out of your thoughts when you feel the couch dip, chan sitting next you. he puts a cup of tea down on the table in front of him and drapes a blanket around your shoulders.

"so bub", chan says, using his childhood nickname for you, "do you wanna talk about it?"

you take a deep breath and start talking about your worries and insecurities from your thoughts earlier. the one thing you love about chan is the way he just listens. he never butts in and just sits there, giving you his attention with the occasional head nod and hum of understanding.

"i just-i'm so tired chan. i'm tired of putting up this 'strong girl' persona. i'm tired of having that expectation tied to me. for once, i want to let go. i want to be taken care of without having to worry about anything else."

chan looks at you with his puppy dog eyes. he moves closer to you and puts his arms around you, holding you close to his warm body. you feel the tears from earlier threaten to spill, but you keep them in, refusing to cry in front of chan.

"bub", he says, his voice vibrating through his body, "you know you can always come to me right? i would never judge you, and i for sure would never leave you alone." he runs his hands through your hair as he gently rocks you back and forth.

at this point, your efforts to hold back your tears fail as the droplets fall, dampening chan's shirt as small sobs leave your mouth.

chan holds you tighter, doing his best to comfort you. "hey, it's ok princess", you notice the change in nickname but choose to brush it off.

after what felt like hours you detach yourself from chan, wiping your eyes on your sleeve. "i-i think i'm a bit better now." you look up a chan with a weak smile on your face. "thank you, channie".

he blushes slightly at the nickname, as you haven't called him that in years. "of course. say, do you want to stay over for the night? i wouldn't want you to go back to your dorm this late."

truthfully, you would hate to stay amd inconvenience chan anymore than you already have, and staying over would make things harder on him.

chan sees the look of hesitation on you face and gives you a stern look.

"hey, i know that look on your face!"

you look at him, startled and blushing slightly. "what look??"

he grins at you, an amused look ghosting his face.

"the look that says 'oh i'm bothering him i should just go home'". chan chuckles as your eyes widen at his answer.

chan sighs and takes your hands in his "bub, i can promise that you are not bothering me. not at all. i barely get to see you on campus, and to be honest-" he looks away slightly, "i'm more than happy to spend some more time with you. i've missed seeing you."

you stare at chan, his face becoming redder by the second. you've always found chan cute (and very, very handsome of course), but you've never thought that he might have similar feelings for you; you always thought he saw you as just a little sister.

chan clears his throat "anyways, let's get you to bed." he gets up off the couch, and you start to follow, until chan pushes back down.

"chan what the-"

he cuts you off when he suddenly picks you up bridal style, forcing a yelp out of you.

chan smiles at you. "i refuse to let you do anything while you stay with me. you deserve a break, and i'll be giving you the treatment you deserve." he makes his way towards his bedroom while you lay your head in his chest, suppressing the feelings that have resurfaced so suddenly.

chan places you on his bed. then starts looking through his closet. "here." he tosses a sweater towards you "change into this. you can take the bed, i still have some work to finish." he walks up to you and brushes back your hair, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead "goodnight princess." he doesn't give you time to answer as he leaves the room and shuts the door.

you sit there, stunned and in utter shock. chan, channie, just kissed you, and you don't think you can suppress these feelings anymore.

suddenly wide awake, you change into his sweater and get under the covers, chan's scent surrounding you, making you dizzy and dampening your panties just a little bit. although his scent is also comforting, you can't seem to calm down, the kiss still running through your mind.

after what felt like forever, you get up and look at the time. 2:03 am. you know chan would still be wide awake, the workaholic he is. you slip out of bed and walk back into the living room.

chan is sitting on the couch, glasses on and looking intently at his laptop screen. hearing your footsteps, he looks up, smiling but also looking slightly concerned.

"can't sleep?" he says as you move closer to the couch, taking the spot next to him

"no", you say, pulling your knees to your chest and pulling the hood of chan's sweater over your head.

he nods, his focus returning to his laptop while you both sit in a comfortable silence.

after a few minutes, you turn to him, unable to keep all the questions in your head any longer.

"chan?"

he looks over, looking at you from over his glasses.

"yes?"

you hesitate, before looking him dead in the eyes and asking him, "why did you kiss me earlier?"

he looks at you, a smile slowly growing on his face as he puts his laptop down, moving so his whole body is facing you.

"why are you asking?" he leans in closer. "did you not like it, princess?"

you look at him, eyes wide and face growing hot. "n-no, i mean-you know what im talking about! you've never done that before so why now?"

chan's smile grows at your reaction. clearly he's enjoying how flustered he can make you with a few words.

"well...i did it because i wanted to."

you look at him, shocked. "you wanted to?"

he nods, moving closer to you and taking you hands in his.

"yes, i did." he takes a deep breath. "you don't know how long i've been waiting to do that. to kiss you, and to let you let me take care of you. i...i've liked you for so long, but you only ever saw me as an older brother"

there are so many things running though you're head, but you chose to ignore them for the fact that chan likes you back.

he has this whole time.

you reach up, holding his face in you're hands. "i stopped seeing you as an older brother a long time ago." and you kiss him. a short, but oh so sweet kiss that makes everything seem right.

you pull away from the kiss, smiling at the shocked expression on chan's face. "what's wrong?", you say, getting payback from all the teasing from earlier. "you didn't like it, channie?"

he finally shakes off his initial shock, looking at you with a different expression: relief.

"no princess", he puts his arm around you're waist and pulls you onto his lap with one quick tug. "i loved it so much."

he kisses you again, and you can feel the smile on his face as you kiss him back, his movements almost desperate.

chan's hands move from your waist to your back, his hands slowly making their way under your sweater.

you break away from the kiss, panting "c-chan please..."

"please what, princess?"

blushing, you respond, "i-i want more."

chan smirks at you, suddenly grabbing your ass and grinding it down into his lap, causing you to moan in surprise.

"is this enough for you, princess?"

you look his in the eye, the desperation and neediness making your eyes water.

of course it's not enough.

you roll your hips into chan's now very prominent boner, earning a gasp from the man.

you hear chan whisper "h-hey, slow down princess."

"but chan, i need more. so much more, please", you plead, hoping he will do something about the ache in your core.

without warning, chan moves you onto your back and sits in between your legs. he leans over and gives you another kiss on the lips before moving down to your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. his actions force tiny moans from you, which only encourage him to do more. as he moves further down, he slowly, almost painfully, lifts your sweater until your tits are uncovered.

without skipping a beat, chan takes one of your nipples in his mouth, while he rolls the other one in between his fingers.

"ch-channie", you gasp, your hands grabbing his hair. chan moans, welcoming the sting, which stimulates you even more.

he takes his mouth off your nipple with a pop, and gives it one final lick before moving down to your thighs. god, your thighs. chan always tried to be respectful when it came to you, but he couldn't deny that your thighs were a work of art, and he always wondered what it would be like to be in between them.

unable to hold himself back, chan rubs the wet spot on your panties, brushing his thumb over your swollen clit. "look at this princess, you're already so wet for me." he continues teasing you, making your whimpers grow louder, and the wet spot on your panties grow larger.

after what feels like forever, chan tugs on the waistband of your panties, lifting your hips with one hand and pulling them off with the other, stopping to take a look at your soaking wet pussy; knowing that he's the reason you're like this makes him even more turned on than he already is.

"now princess", he whispers, blowing a puff of air onto your heat, making you shiver. "let me take care of you, ok?" without warning, he licks a stripe over your pussy, making you gasp and squirm.

"o-oh channie, yes."

he smirks, taking your clit into his mouth and sucking hard. overwhelmed, you buck your hips into his mouth, chasing your pleasure, but he holds down your hips as he ravishes your pussy, not letting a single drop of your juices go to waste.

you're in pure bliss. chan's tongue bringing you overwhelming pleasure, the only things coming out of your mouth are broken moans and incoherent mumbling. "ch-channie please, 'm so close."

"you're close, princess?". his moves his attention to your hole, rubbing his index finger over your tight entrance. "can you cum on my fingers? can you do that for me, princess?" you give him a weak nod.

chan clicks his tongue and pushes his finger into you, only to pull it out seconds later, making you whine.

"fuck, channie please. please 'm so close." tears start to fall as you beg for chan to keep going.

"princess, i need you to use your words ok?" chan's change of tone makes you shiver. "can. you. cum. on. my. fingers?", he says while teasing your clit with his thumb.

you nod urgently "yes, yes i can. please just me-"

the feeling of chan's finger finally sliding into your wet heat makes you gasp. continuing his assault on your clit with his tongue forces louder moans out of you. its almost too much. chan adds another finger and you start to see stars.

"channie channie please please 'm so close please don't stop."

chan chuckles, the vibrations on your clit bringing you closer to the edge. he then takes his mouth off your pussy, coming up to kiss you.

"cum for me princess."

the taste of you on his mouth, his voice and the movement of his fingers are too much for you, as your body tenses up and your pussy squeezes chan's fingers. you know you shouldn't be too loud, but you can't help it. the pleasure he brought you was intense, and you couldn't hold back your moans. he continues to move his fingers inside of you, helping you ride out your high.

after you've calmed down, chan removes his fingers from inside you. he takes a tissue from the table beside the couch and cleaning you both, slipping your panties back on and pulling you into his lap again.

"that's my good girl. you did so well."

finally down from your high, you blush, hiding your face in his neck.

"that...was amazing", you say, you're voice no more than a whisper.

he hums, smiling slightly. "glad to hear that princess." he gently brings your face towards his, and plants small kisses all over you're face. "was that the type of treatment you were hoping for?"

rolling your eyes, you smile at him. "not entirely, but it was still amazing." you kiss him on the tip of his nose. "thank you channie."

"anything for you, my princess." the slight change in your new nickname makes your heart (and pussy) flutter, resting your head on his chest and slowly dozing off.

in your sleepy state, you mutter, "can we do this next time?"

he chuckles, "we can do more than just this, if you want."

"like what?"

chan whispers in your ear, "maybe next time i can have you cry on my cock, teasing you again and again until you beg me to let you cum." he looks at you innocently, purposely oblivious to how flushed you've gotten. "wouldn't you like that princess?"

"i-i might like that."

he smiles, giving you a final kiss on the lips before carrying you to his bedroom.

"of course you would princess. now let's get you to bed."

chan walks to the side of his bed, placing you down gently and then getting in himself. he pulls you by your waist, one arm under your head and his hand caressing your hair.

as you drift off to sleep, you utter one more phrase before sleep takes over.

"i love you channie."

a/n ♡ ahahah i totally didn't project or anything ;) (this also turned out a lot longer than i thought it would) i also think i could have added some more dialogue but lmk what you think >_<

#skz #skz fanfic #skz fluff #skz x reader #skz smut #bang chan #chan x reader #bang chan x female reader #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut

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auteurdelabre · 6 months

Text

Something to Fight For (Series) Part 18 Joel Miller x f!Reader

Rating: 18+ THIS CHAPTER'S TRIGGER WARNINGS: Emotional Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Drug Addiction, Mentions of Death A/N: I rewrote this fucking chapter about 8 times. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. It was a real hard one to write, ya'll. A lot of my own shit is mixed up in there with the story. MC is part me after all (and part all of you). So it was hard. Harder than I think I expected it to be. So I dunno how it ended up. Couldn't re-read it too much. I really need your reviews on this one folks. It's real important to me, 'specially now. I need to know how you feel, the good and the bad. I gotta get this right.

Story Masterlist HERE

You're overcome.

There's no other word for it. You've been sobbing in your shower for the last hour. After running from the barn, taking a taxi home and bursting into your suite you immediately fell to your knees, the warm water pelting down onto your back.

It's as close to being held, at being soothed that you can manage right now.

You can’t stop replaying tonight’s events. The song Joel chose. The one of longing and deep yearning.

"She may be the reason I survive

The why and wherefore I'm alive

The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years"

But also of a love gone by. A regret.

"She may be the face I can't forget

A trace of pleasure or regret"

Is that how he views you? A love gone by?

Of course he does.

Paul's engagement ring is in the velvet box it came in. It's being returned tomorrow. You'd have done it tonight if it weren't so late.

You need to end things. It's the only way forward. No matter what, no matter if Joel is in love with Tess, no matter if you'll never be with him, you *can't be with Paul.

You don't love Paul. It's obvious to everyone including yourself. It's been obvious for so long. You've wasted so much fucking time and energy on him.

You think of all the boxes packed here, the ones you were going to move to Leander. You think of how strange and sad it is that your whole life can be put into less than twenty cardboard boxes.

And even though Joel can't be yours and even though that hurts more than words can begin to say, you are so fucking grateful for him. You are so grateful you met Joel Miller because he's shown you what love is. True, caring love.

Even if it's not yours to keep.

You will never forget the way he looked singing tonight. The goodbye song from his heart to yours. You'd felt it. The bittersweet finality of your time.

More tears are coming.

"I love him," you say to the tile in front of you. You need to hear the words spoken out loud in the universe, even if it's hidden in the fall of the shower and heard only by you. "I love Joel."

You need to see Joel. You need him to hold you. Need his calming presence. You need to wrap your arms around him and press your face into his neck and just feel breathe that sweet, spicy scent of home.

He's not yours.

You don't get to see Joel. You don't get to have him. He's Tess'. You can't be his friend, you want him too much. So what does that leave?

That leaves you replaced and alone.

You pull yourself from the shower, shivering as you towel off, drying your hair the best you can. You go to your dresser and pull out one of the few remaining pieces of clothing there.

Joel's shirt.

You've washed it so it doesn't smell like him anymore. Doesn't smell like the laundry detergent he uses or that wood shavings scent he sometimes carries. But when you put it on it feels like he's there in some small way. You pull it on over your sleep shorts hiccupping a soft cry.

You remember so long ago, standing in Joel’s den as you pondered if he just played guitar or if he sang as well.

“S’weird how something can make you feel so good and then outta nowhere become the pain”

That’s how it feels now. Joel, the thing that makes you feel good has also become the pain. The wedding is tomorrow. You need to collect yourself by then. You'll see Joel and you need to be controlled. You need to be okay. You need to not ruin this for him.

Because you do love Joel. You love him in a way you never expected to love or be loved. You love him so much that you are determined to make his life better. Determined that you will not take away what he has carved out for himself.

You crawl under the covers, your face buried in the pillow.

"I l-love Joel," you whisper it again into the pillow only now it's broken by sobs. You curl up under the covers, your body trembling. "I love him I love him."

You feel lost. So hopelessly lost.

And then the phone rings.

///

It's late in the Miller house. Quiet. Sarah's been asleep for hours thanks to the sugar crash Bill's cupcakes provided.

Tommy's asleep in the basement apartment, exhausted from the evenings festivities and anticipating a long day tomorrow.

Or, as Joel glances over at the bright neon numbers of his digital clock, later today.

He's laying in bed, one arm behind his head, one hand over his sternum as he stares at the ceiling. In this pose he feels every breath in, every breath out. The studying rhythm bringing him peace. It's impossible to shake the image of you free from his mind.

He'd done it out of love for you. Out of a need for you to know how much you'd changed him. Changed his heart, his outlook, even his fucking idea on the concept of romantic love.

But the look on your face? The way it had fallen before you had dashed out?

Sarah had been bouncing up and down in her seat when he finished his performance, hugging him tightly and throwing things at him as he tried to contain his disappointment ("Daddy you sing so pretty!" And "Daddy will you teach me guitar?") Everyone was clapping him on the back, telling him it was wonderful, so romantic, that Tommy and Maria loved it.

He refused to let his eyes search for you, knowing you were gone. He refused to let his heart believe that you'd come back.

Joel knows he has to stay away from you.

Knows that singing tonight was a terrible idea because not only did he make it so obvious to everyone that he’s so deeply in love with you, but he also made you cry.

Watching your face crumple, watching the way your eyes fell to the ground at the last string. He’d thought you’d be happy singing, Maria had said how often you’d felt happy when you did. But that wasn’t happiness he saw tonight. It was pain.

Joel doesn’t know what to do. He feels so lost.

And then the phone rings.

///

"Joel, I need you."

Four little words over the phone at 2 am.

Four little words that have Joel stumbling out of bed, murmuring he'll be there before he's pulling on his jeans and a t-shirt.

He's half asleep, his mind whirring. He goes to the basement, rapping on the door. An equally tired Tommy answers, blinking in the light.

"She- I gotta go," Joel tries to explain in a rush. "I'll explain later. Can you come watch Sarah?"

Tommy gives a few bleary eyed blinks before nodding and following his brother up the steps.

Tommy settles himself on the sofa as Joel runs out the door. And all the younger Miller can think before he falls asleep is:

Finally.

///

Joel's shoulders nearly take up the doorframe. You notice this when the rap of his knuckles pulls you sniffling from the sofa and you open the door to him.

His eyes are sleepy, but wide. His hair is tousled from sleep and you can see the indent of his pillow faint in his left cheek. He scans your face, concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry," you say as soon as Joel takes a step towards you. "I never should have called so late. I’m so so sorry, Joel."

"Just let me in," Joel insists, his hand coming to go to your cheek and then dropping. He doesn’t want to overstep. "Tell me what happened."

You try to make the words come out; you force them crackling and trembling out into the world.

"I don't want... I don't want to go back."

Joel doesn't have any context, but that doesn't stop him from rushing in. He closes the door behind him gently before bringing you into his arms. Your forehead drops against his sternum as he does this, your tears warm and free flowing.

As he rubs a soothing hand along your spine he realizes you're wearing his t-shirt again. For some reason this small thing makes Joel's eyes wet.

You're so warm in his arms, trembling against him as you hold in sobs. He wants to kiss away the tears rolling down your cheeks. He wants to carry you to bed and strip every bad memory and experience from you with his mouth and body.

That's not what she needs right now. She needs a friend.

He takes your hand in his, leading you to the sofa. A place where you can talk. The fireplace is on, bathing you in a warm flickering glow that makes his breathing hitch when he glances over at you.

Your eyes are puffy, your nose red and he thinks you might be the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

He can't help himself but reach for you, bringing you to his lap as he sits. There's nothing sexual about it, just the need to hold you close, to make you feel safe there. Your arms wrap around his neck and he rocks you, his arms banding around your waist.

"Honey," Joel whispers into the crook of your neck. "What's wrong?"

Honey.

You melt into him just as easily as the word. This was a terrible idea. What had you been thinking? How could you ask Joel here?

Because of the song, your traitorous heart cries. Because you love him! Because his face is the first one you want to see!

You hold him tightly to you, unable to break from him just yet. Unable to tell him the awful ugliness. Instead your mind drifts to the rehearsal dinner. Your hand plays with the fabric of Joel's shirt, twisting it under your fingers.

"Joel . . . The song."

Immediately he tenses and you can't see his face, but you can imagine it. Eyes nervous, mouth hooked slightly to the side. The same way he’d held his face that night in his den, your hand around a glass of soda.

"Maybe one day we'll have reason to make music again.”

Joel smiles softly around his glass. "Maybe."

"Did you like it?" he murmurs into your hair. You can't help but hold him tighter, your eyes filling. He sounds so unsure of himself, so worried about what you’ll say.

"Yeah, I loved it. It was beautiful."

You feel him physically relax in your arms at this admission. The tension, the uncertainty is drained from him. You force yourself not to tilt your face to his, not to search for his mouth with yours.

"I thought you didn't play anymore,” you tell his shoulder.

"I don't. One time performance I guess. Shoulda charged for tickets."

There, the humor you both needed to break the intense spell that weaves itself when you're in Joel's arms. You're thankful to him for that. Now you can pull back, still seated in his lap, but in control of yourself.

"I hope you keep playing forever."

Joel smiles wistfully at you, nodding. You let his dark eyes search your face. You let his hand cup your cheek, his wide thumb brushing away the tears there.

"I never told you about why I went back to Chicago," you sniffle. "Why I didn't call."

"You don't have to tell me," Joel insists. "It doesn't change why I'm here. I'll stay here all night just holdin' you if it's what you need."

He doesn't want to push you, doesn't want you upset because of him. This time in Chicago, the separation, it feels like an ugly part of your shared history that he just wants you both to forget.

"No, I want to tell you," you say in a sorrowful voice. "You deserve to know everything."

Joel nods and he wants to keep you there in his lap. But you shuffle back from him, sitting across from him on the sofa. It takes several minutes of staring into the flames of the fire before you feel you can begin.

"My dad has been in and outta the hospital a lot," you explain, looking at your hands in your lap. "It's because he's waiting for a liver transplant."

Joel is shocked. The way you spoke of Chicago, of your family, he'd assumed your father was dead.

"The thing is," you continue, unaware of his shock. "He can't get one unless he stops using and, uh, he won't."

"Using?" Joel is still taken aback by the revelation, not thinking clearly.

"Coke and heroin mostly," you say with a wince. "He's a drug addict."

Your father has been a junkie for most of your life.

And it's in part because you exist.

The same year you were born he'd gone to a party without your mom. She was tired, still breastfeeding you and encouraged him to go out and have some fun.

He did.

The kind of fun that had started as a party drug passed around and ended with him burning through the family savings and growing gaunt in the coming years. The kind of fun that had him doing eight balls during your soccer games and shooting up on your graduation day.

You were four when he first went into rehab at the insistence of your mother. A few weeks before your fifth birthday he'd come home sober and ready to change his life back around. You hadn't really understood what was happening. You'd just been so happy to be a family again.

That photo on your desk, the one the flood destroyed, the one that meant so much to you is from the only birthday party of yours that your father ever attended sober.

In the passing years he turned to drugs again but he hid it well from you and your mother. You never knew the severity of it until you turned fifteen.

Until you came home one day from your part time job at the Chicago humane shelter to find him covered in piss and his own vomit and barely responsive.

He died on his way to the hospital, a full forty two seconds he was clinically dead. Until they revived him and he sputtered back to life. You remember all of this because it was you in the ambulance with him.

Your mother was at work, unreachable. Your dad's sporadic unemployment meant she worked two jobs.

So it was a fifteen year old you with tears running down her cheeks that watched this unfold, completely terrified.

You were sixteen when he got out of rehab for the second time and promised his life was changed forever. He and your mother had almost two years of no fighting - a change of pace for you who had grown up to their constant shouting matches.

You were eighteen when he relapsed at a friend's house party. Twenty two and twenty five when he went back to the various rehabs that your mother always paid for in more ways than one.

And then he just stopped trying in the coming years. Still using, but not enough for your sweet mother to kick him out.

It's like he's infected by some insidious being inside him. A forever hungry thing that takes and takes, warping your once sweet father into something subhuman. A being that is frighteningly underweight, hollowing his cheeks and making his eyes bulbous in his face. He isn't your father anymore, not really.

But he is. That's the worst part.

Because if he wasn't your Dad you could hate him.

You tell Joel all of this, it spills from you like a stream and he sits across from you, nodding and never speaking. When your voice hitches or the tears begin fresh he instinctively moves towards you on the sofa, stopped only by your raised palm. You need to get all of this out and if he holds you, you never will.

"That night you left, like, two hours later my mom called me to tell me that my dad had a really bad seizure," You shake your head, wanting to stop the memory. "And she sounded so scared on the phone and I just had to get back. I had to get there, back home to help. I was on autopilot."

Joel recalls the hollow look in your eyes when he went to see you that day.

"I know you came to see me but I don't even remember it," you tell Joel. "All I could think of was that I fucked up, that I should have been there in Chicago with my mom."

Joel is stiff, watching you without speaking.

"And I got home and it was just as awful as I thought it would be." You start to shudder at the memory. "My dad could barely talk. And when he did all he wanted to do was blame me for leaving. Telling me I was selfish for leaving my mom and him. Telling me that without me around to help pay for things that there was more pressure on him and my mom to afford their place."

You break off only to hold in a sob, breathing deeply and continuing.

"And he was right, you know. Coming to Austin for school was so selfish of me. I could've just as easily gone to school back in Chicago." A look of disgust crosses your features as you talk now to yourself. "So fucking selfish."

"No," Joel's voice is quiet but firm. "That's not true."

You're ignoring him though, so caught up in your own devastation. Your eyes are shut tightly and your head is giving short jerks.

"I just run from everything, Joel. I ran from Chicago and I ran to Austin because I thought that if I kept running far away enough that, that his ugliness could never touch me. But it lives in me, Joel. That ugliness is in me forever."

Joel's eyes have grown glassy, even now he remains sitting there looking at you with unending patience and his hands twitching to hold you.

"I stayed there for a month,” you continue, not even aware that your head is tilted so low Joel has to lean forward to hear. “A month of my dad telling me I was selfish. A month of my mom trying to tell me that it's just his disease talking. A month of seeing your name come up on my phone and wanting so badly to talk to you but just thinking about how horrible I was and how you and Sarah deserved better."

You force yourself to breathe between sentences, your air hitching in your chest. Joel is staring at you, his eyes swimming over your features. Horrible? You?

"So when I eventually got back to Austin I was just so fucking sad, Joel. So tired. I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't want to be around anyone. Not you, not Sarah. I couldn't do that to you guys." You swipe at your eyes with the wrist of your sweater. "I should have called you and seen you but I was so selfish only thinking about me and how I felt.

Your eyes jerk open when you feel the warmth of Joel's hand on yours. He's leaning across the sofa, his wide hand placed gently over yours. A thumb gently strokes your knuckles.

"No," Joel breathes in a voice of gentle warmth. "Never selfish. Never. It was me that fucked up."

"No."

"Yes," Joel tells you and you can see the way his dark eyes are damp. "You are the least selfish person I've ever met."

"Oh yeah?" you challenge, your chin wobbling. "You know why I called you tonight? Because my mom just called to beg me to come home again. Apparently my dad's saying that if I move back to Chicago that he'll go to treatment again. That he'll stop using. That he'll be able to get the transplant."

Joel's eyes widen but he remains silent.

"And I don't want to go," you say, lips trembling. "I don't want to go back there. I don't want to fucking go even if it would mean helping because I'm a horrible, selfish cunt."

The sobs that burst out of you are pure anguish that you muffle in a pillow to keep Maria from hearing all those floors above. Joel is physically holding himself back, dying to embrace you but giving you your space.

All he can do is stroke your head, desperate to convey all of his care and affection for you through the gesture.

"He was always promising he was going to get clean," you say hollowly, moving away from the pillow and Joel's touch. "And my mom, she just, she just kept carrying on like there was hope. But there is no hope. Just this endless, bleak, fucking pain."

Your eyes meet his and you're overcome. You stand abruptly, feeling the scrutiny of Joel as sharply as if he were stabbing you.

"Joel, just go. I'm sorry I called. This was a terrible idea to have you come here. This isn't your problem. I'm so fucking sorry."

Joel stands and for a moment you think he's going to leave. You think that might be a relief because you're feeling too vulnerable, too exposed.

You aren't expecting Joel to quietly close the distance between your bodies and wordlessly pull you into his arms. You're shocked more however at how willingly you allow this, how easy it is to fall back into his embrace. To tangle your arms around his neck and hold him as tightly as you can. He's warm against you, his cheek resting on the top of your head as you press your face to his shoulder.

"I hate him. I hate what he put my mom and me through." Your chin is trembling as you blink back the onslaught of more tears. "And I hate that I love him so much because he's my fucking dad."

Your hands are gripping Joel around the middle as he holds you, his broad shoulders curling, his arms tightening.

"I hate that I just want him to die," you cry through clenched teeth. "To stop holding on. To bring my mother some fucking peace."

More tears come.

Joel thinks of James and the cocaine and how upset you'd been. He'd thought you were justified in the way you'd acted, the heated punch across James slimy face for treating you so rudely. But now he realizes why you'd been shamed, so terrified of your own fury.

"And I hate that I'm just like him."

You break off as Joel's large hand is cupping the back of your head, and he's gently swaying you, the way a mother would a newborn.

"It's okay," Joel murmurs in your hair. "I've got you. I've got you."

You don't know why, but this quiet utterance from him is that breaks you, and the wall against him that you've built so high for yourself collapses. Heavy sobs break free from you, stark mournful things that you muffle in Joel's shoulder. They make your body jerk, causing Joel to hold you tighter against him.

"Shhh," Joel soothes. "Just breathe, baby. Slowly, like me."

He takes a few steadying breaths, urging you to match the slow pace. After a few shuddering exhales you do so, your breathing staggering into a steady, even rhythm.

"Good," Joel whispers. "Good."

"I'm just like him," you again whisper the words you've only ever thought into Joel's collar. "I'm selfish and horrible and -"

"You're nothing like that," Joel assures you, pulling you back so that he can look into your eyes when he tells you this. "Not at all."

"Really? What do you call what we did in your kitchen?" You scoff. "Knowing that we were with other people? Or how about when you pushed me up against that wall over there?"

Joel is silent, only his eyes move around your face while the rest of him is like a statue. He doesn't need to look at the wall to know what you're talking about.

"I can't stop wanting you," you say with a look of torment in your eyes. "I can't fucking stop, Joel. I try and I try and I can't. I'm just like my dad. I want what I shouldn't. I want what's only going to hurt other people and hurt myself."

"Honey-"

"I can't stop," you repeat weakly, trying to step back from him. "So I have to stay away."

Joel hands are on either side of your face again and he's peppering your face with soft kisses and everything in you wants to rejoice because Joel is here and he's holding you.

"Don't stay away from me," Joel's tells you as he rains compassion down on you. "Never."

You can't keep him. He's not yours.

Both of you are being incredibly selfish right now. Tess is probably at home right now taking care of Sarah and Daniel. Tess who was made to be a mother. Tess who understands Joel. What is wrong with you?

Selfish.

Horrible.

"Stop, Joel," you say twisting from him, out of his grip. "I told you all of this so that you can understand why I won't be around as much. But I'll call Sarah every other night, if she still wants to speak to me. And when I come back for visits I'll take her to the movies and-"

It's like Joel is only just now noticing all the moving boxes. He's glancing around as you talk, his eyes widening.

"You're not actually thinking of moving back to Chicago," Joel interrupts in a horrified voice. "You can't be."

"Just for a few months, just until he's settled in rehab-"

"No," Joel is wild-eyed shaking his head, his eyebrows saddling. "You can’t. You just. . . You can’t do this. You can’t sacrifice everything. Your work - that sanctuary. You won’t come back. I know you, you’ll feel like you have to take care of your dad. You’ll stay there."

"It's complicated-"

"It's not."

"Joel, my dad needs me."

"That was a horrible thing to lay on your shoulders," Joel says and he looks furious and sad all at once. "And I'm sorry for your parents, I really am, but no. You can't go. You can't do this to yourself."

"I have to go," you tell Joel. You falter, pulling back from him, needing to be out of his orbit.

Joel stands there as you pull back from him, looking so out of place in your suite with its low ceilings, the space almost emptied of furniture. He’s like this beam you can’t look away from, this tall broad angel with eyes that look at you as if you’re actually worth something.

He breaks off, uttering a pained "Jesus Christ" and you're sure he's going to yell at you about Paul just like Maria did.

You’re sure he’ll run from the room shouting that you’re selfish. Positive that he’ll tell you that you’re not worth all this hassle.

Instead Joel does something you're not expecting.

He crosses the room over to you and slips to his knees, holding you around the middle before he presses his forehead gently against your abdomen. It shocks you, this action and this pose from him. He sits like this in silence for several minutes, holding you, breathing against you in heavy shudders. Your hands are on his broad shoulders, glancing down at him in confusion.

"I'm so sorry," he finally whispers, a little murmur against you. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

"I didn't need you to be," you insist, your hand going to his neck, urging his face up to look at you. He won't move his face from where it is lodged against your stomach. He can’t.

"But I should have been," Joel insists, his voice a low rasp.

“It was so long ago.”

Almost six months since the awful incident. And you don’t carry it with you, not like Joel apparently has because now his head tilts back from your abdomen.

"I never should have walked away that day. I should have stayed. If I had none of this Tess and Paul shit would have happened. I would’ve gone back with you to Chicago." Joel's voice sounds thick with escaping emotion. "I ruined us."

His beautiful eyes open and you watch as tears slip down his cheek. You suppose that's what makes you freeze up, your heart sinking. You've never seen Joel cry before and the sight is as shocking as it is heartbreaking.

"Forgive me," he whispers brokenly. "Please."

You can see the anguish in his features and realize he's been living in it since you got back. This hellish landscape of grief and regret. He's been wearing it like armor weighing him down.

"Nothing to forgive," you tell him honestly, your knuckles trailing down his cheek to wipe the tears away. "Joel it was never a matter of fault. It was just how things happened."

His head drops against your stomach again and you can feel his strong shoulders begin to quake jerkily.

"I was fucking weak."

"You were human," you reply, rubbing at his shoulders, wanting to soothe him as much as he wants to soothe you. "You couldn't have known."

"I just left you there, all hollow and quiet and I walked away," Joel's voice is ragged. "I should have stayed. That's what you do when you love someone."

Love.

It hits you with a strong, visceral acuity. Starting in your rib cage and then spreading outward, causing everything in your body to wake up. It makes you breathless to hear it, though you've long suspected it, secretly hoped for it.

"Joel-"

"I'll never stop being sorry for it," Joel tells you simply, his face tilting up to look into yours. "Never."

Without thinking your hand is gently carding through his tousled curls. His eyes shutter closed as he leans into your hands. The moment is overwhelming in austerity and you need to break it.

"Not even if I asked nicely?" you say with a teasing lilt to your voice.

His eyes open and he gives you a small, watery smile before he stands. He towers over you again, taking your face in his wide hands and now it’s you leaning into his touch.

"I'd do anything you asked."

And all at once you know he's going to kiss you and that you want him to.

He tilts his head forward and lips move over yours so gently that you sigh into his mouth. Your entire body sags towards him and instead of the fervent kisses from not that long ago, this kiss is different. It’s soft and sweet and unhurried. His soft lips move over yours, taking time to memorize how your pliant mouth moves under his, the way you inhale softly when you break apart, his wide hands still cupping your face.

Tess.

Marmalade.

Selfish.

"I'm sorry I called," you sniff, tilting your face from him. "I never should have done that. You should go, Joel."

"You want me to go?" Joel's voice is a low aching sound. You can't look at him. You can't look into those intense, beautiful eyes of his so instead you face away from him.

"Yes."

You feel yourself floundering, that unmistakable voice in your head screaming to run. Run from the conflict. Run from your feelings.

Run. Run.

"You're lyin'," Joel insists.

"I'm not."

You feel his strong fingers on either side of your chin, dragging your face to meet his. But still your eyes remain closed.

"Look at me."

You shake your head the best that you can in his grip.

"I can't have you here, Joel. I'm sorry I called you, it was wrong.”

Joel's hand is flying to slide around the back of your neck. "Stop."

"You’re with Tess," you insist with a shake of your head, pulling back from his sweet touch. "She's perfect for you. She'll make the best mom to Sarah. It makes sense, Joel. You have to see that."

"I broke it off with Tess," Joel bites off. “I don’t want Tess.”

Your eyes fly open."What?"

"How could I keep dating her? I knew I couldn't stop wanting you. I never will." Joel feels his neck growing warm. "And she told me what she asked you to do, to stay away from Sarah."

You nod brokenly, feeling the tears gathering just at the memory compounded by this new guilt.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I just want what's best for you and Sarah. A chance at a real family."

You've ruined this for him. Joel's chance at a family, something for himself. Something for his own. Selfish like your dad.

"Go back to Tess, Joel. Tell her it was a mistake."

"I'm not gonna do that."

"You have to, Joel. She wants you."

“And you don’t?”

It hangs there, the truth between you. If you admit it, it’s over. Any pretense you would have carried is gone. He’ll choose you because of this unknowable, untenable connection. But you’re not good for him. You’re not the kind of woman Joel Miller needs. You’ll take and take from him, leaving him with nothing in the end. It’s how your father operates, and you are your father’s daughter. Your engagement isn't even officially off. You're moving to Chicago. So what? You'll confess you love Joel? Make him feel compelled to follow you to Chicago? And what about Sarah? You're going to disrupt her life too? How is that not the most selfish thing in the world?

“No.”

Saying it physically hurts.

You love Joel. You love this man in front of you. And it’s precisely that love that sends you pushing back from him. But you’re stopped by his hand on the back of your neck again, holding you there.

"Don't," Joel says through clenched teeth."Don't stand there and lie to me of all people. You wanna lie to yourself? Fine, but not to me. Never to me. I don’t deserve it."

It is. It is a fucking lie.

"Tell me the truth," Joel urges gently, pleading. "Tell me to my face that you don't want me as much as I want you.”

You try to form the words that tell him exactly that, but you can't.

They don't exist.

Joel nods in understanding, his warm eyes even warmer. But he can see the fear in your expression, the panic.

"Just let me take care of you tonight," Joel whispers, his thumb stroking your cheek. "Please."

You're trembling against his palm, tears coating your lashes. "Okay."

Joel seems surprised by your easy acceptance but he nods, reaching down to take your hand in his.

"Let's go to bed."

You follow him without question to the bed. He shrugs off his jacket, watching you watching him. You're eyes are owlish in your face, the tension clear. Joel brings himself up on the bed still dressed in his jeans and shirt. He lays overtop the sheet before bringing it back for you to crawl under.

You hesitate. There is nothing more enticing than the thought of Joel making love to you right now. But it feels wrong, rushed. Too many things going on in your mind.

"I just wanna hold you," Joel explains when he sees your eyes nervously move from him to the bed. "If that's okay?"

Relief floods you and you nod, moving under the covers of your bed. And all the aching loneliness, all the terror of being lost? It’s gone. It’s gone the second you snuggle up against Joel in your bed.

His broad hand moves through your hair gently, moving it back from your flushed face before stroking it in tenderly. He stares at you, barely blinking. You muse that you could have entire conversations like this, just staring into each other's eyes. That perhaps you're having one right now.

His eyes are so soft. How can a man made up of sharp angles and broad planes look at you with eyes so fucking soft?

"How can you look at me like that?" you ask blinking through new tears. "After everything I've told you how can you lie there and look at me like I'm not a piece of shit?"

"Because you're not," Joel replies swiftly. "None of what your dad did is your fault. How could it be?"

"If I was there-"

"He'd still be using," Joel tells you simply. "And he'd have a new thing or person to blame for it."

"Even if that's true," you insist. "I'm his kid. I should go back."

"You're telling me if I told a grown up Sarah she had to move back home to take care of me, even if I'd barely been in her life, even if she had a whole life somewhere else, you'd tell her she was selfish for not doing it?"

Your eyes widen. Sarah. Sweet, genuine Sarah. No, you wouldn't blame her. But that's Sarah.

"She's just a kid-"

"Same age as when your dad started." Joel's eyes are watery. "How come you're so unkind to yourself? Why don't you think you deserve good things?"

"A lifetime of experience," you reply darkly.

///

And for a moment there is sudden clarity for Joel that hits him in such a way he's shocked he never understood it as easily before.

In the job you chose, in the immediately natural way you were with the screaming Daniel, even quicker than you were with his sweet and calm Sarah.

In the way these animals, hurt and abandoned and ignored are so much more than just pitiful creatures that pass along your desk in files.

You see yourself in them.

You see yourself in their haunted eyes and terrible histories. You see it in the plaintive cry of the frustrated Daniel. In this world that turns its back and its ears to them you want desperately to embrace them, to hold them to you and communicate a perfect, unending love for them.

Because no one did that for you.

Your mom tried, Joel is sure of it. But love is hard to share when so much of it is reserved for a husband in constant crisis. When you're a frazzled mother working two jobs to keep your mortgage and your marriage and family together. Love is there of course, but it's not overt. Not like you crave.

The kind of love that Maria gives you without question. The kind of love Joel would give to you every fucking day if you said you wanted him to be yours.

"I know I have no right to ask you to stay or demand anything from you, but, fuck, please don't do this," Joel whispers earnestly. "Don't move back to Chicago."

You're silent.

“If you do you’ll never come back,” Joel murmurs, his voice full of so many emotions it would be impossible to pick just one. “I know you. You’d sacrifice everything for him.”

“I. . . I don’t. . .”

Your eyes are so heavy, almost as heavy as your heart. You’ve shared so much with Joel, brought up so many painful memories it feels like you’ve run a marathon. Your head tilts against the pillow.

"Go to sleep, baby," Joel tells you, holding himself back from kissing you. "I'm here. Just sleep."

When you finally fall asleep Joel continues to look at you. His dark eyes travel the curve of your cheek, takes in the length of your lashes and the way your mouth looks half open in sleep. He memorizes each part of your face knowing that this may be his only chance to do so.

You’re engaged. You still have that connection to your parents in Chicago. There is so much that exists in this world to take you away from him.

He still sees it this way, outside forces wanting to rip you from him, as if he has some claim on you. He doesn't care if Paul gave you a ring. You’re his. You’re his and he has never stopped feeling this way, even though he's tried. He doesn't know he'll ever stop.

He stops himself from kissing your sleeping mouth on more than one occasion during the night, desperate for that contact if this is really the end.

It can't be the end. It can't.

You sigh in your sleep, shuffling closer against him for warmth or for comfort. Joel allows this, his eyes skipping closed at the calm your nearness brings him.

I'll never ask for anything as long as I live. Just let her be mine.

He finally falls asleep with your soft breathing in the crook of his neck

#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #smut #dad joel miller #fanfic #fanfiction #joel miller #pedro pascal

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fanficsformyfaves · 2 months

Text

All Too Well

Rhea Ripley x Fem!Reader

WARNING: ANGST, Struggles With Sexuality, Mentions of Underage Drinking (DO NOT DO IT), Jealousy, Alcohol Consumption, Confrontation

PREFACE: Rhea and Reader were childhood friends, but after a kiss they shared during a party, Reader cut contact and never spoke to her again. That was until their high school reunion came up and the two finally see each other years later

A/N: Flashbacks In Italics!

Liv Morgan is also Reader's best friend from a different school in this A/U!

Some surprise appearances by other WWE Stars!

Was feeling a little angsty, don't mind me

"Are you sure it isn't too...showy?", I say,

Looking at Liv's reflection in the full-length mirror.

"Are you kidding? It's literally perfect"

I chuckle at her enthusiasm.

Within a week from now, we were set to attend our ten year high school reunion and to say I had knots in my stomach would be an understatement.

High school was fine, in fact, I often catch myself reminiscing on how simple life once was.

Not having to deal with adult responsibilities like work, bills or rent and just living life as I wanted...but there was one thing that made me wish time moved faster.

Rhea.

We grew up in the same neighborhood and were inseparable. Always sleeping over at each other's houses and hanging out every day after school. Wherever she was, I was. You wouldn't see me without her by my side and vice verse.

"Check this out", she says,

Smacking her wrist and causing the whipped cream she had on the back of her hand to catapult into her mouth.

"What the fuck? How?", I exclaimed.

She lets out a laugh, almost choking on the sweet foam.

"Saw someone do it on YouTube. Try it"

I shrugged, spraying some onto the back of my hand and repeating what she did. Only my attempt resulted in the cream to land on the side of my mouth. She lets out a roaring laugh, falling back against the couch.

"I've got you", she says,

Gently wiping it off my face and sucking it off her thumb. Her eyes never leaving mine, whilst doing so. I couldn't ignore the sudden rush of butterflies that irrupted in my stomach. What the hell was that?

I awkwardly clear my throat and sipped on some water. She eventually noticed my silence and squinted curiously.

"You alright, babe?"

Her nicknames have now become lethal to me. It's not like we haven't jokingly called each other things of that nature, but this time felt different.

"Mhm"

"Okay", she replied unconvinced.

Just then the door bell, rang. Thank god.

"I'll get it. Must be the food", she says,

Gently placing a hand on my thigh, before sprinting off. I felt her touch linger even after she'd already left the room. My heart racing against the confinements of my chest.

As the day turned to night, we got ready for the party Sonya was throwing, when I couldn't get the zipper of my dress up.

"Women's clothing is a complete joke!", I struggled inside the bathroom,

"Need some help?", she asked through the door.

Why was I so nervous for her to see me half dressed? We've changed in front of each other dozens of times before.

Though I must admit, I had to look away as we did. Something about seeing her so intimately made my stomach drop to my feet. Like I would...like what I see.

But nonetheless, I reluctantly agreed.

"Could you?"

She steps inside and carefully tugs my zipper up and once she was done, I turn around, patting myself off. For a moment, she eyes me up and down with a smile she was clearly trying to hide.

"That bad?"

"Not even close. You look amazing", she says,

Taking my hand and playfully spinning me around. God damn it, there go the butterflies again. I pull back, smiling awkwardly.

"Shall we?"

"We shall", she says,

Stepping aside and letting me out of the bathroom.

The entire car ride was silent, except for the ambience of the engine running and the radio softly playing. It gave me more time to fully process what happened and what exactly I was feeling.

It was all so sudden, that my head spun trying to wrap itself around it. I was probably overthinking. Maybe, I'd just imagined the whole thing and was worried over nothing?

"You're awfully quiet", she disrupts the silence,

Pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Usually, we'd be screaming non-sensical lyrics over songs we put on, but you seem rather distracted", she interrogated behind the wheel,

"Um, probably the shots I took before we left"

"Well, I'm designated driver tonight, so, have all the fun you want, sweetheart"

Again with the nicknames.

We eventually got to Sonya's and made our way inside. The house was crowded with drunken kids from school, dancing terribly and talking way too loud. Tonight was guaranteed to be hectic.

"You made it!", Sonya yells over the music,

Before yanking me into a hug and making me chuckle at her excitement.

"I thought you'd ditch, since you weren't at school today"

"Nope, just decided to skip since it's the last day before spring break", I explained,

Pulling away.

She then pulls Rhea into a hug and plants a kiss on her cheek, making Rhea laugh.

I couldn't help but feel off about it.

But before I could even react, a hand turns me around by the shoulder and it was Liv, my friend from a different school.

"Hey!", I greeted,

As she squealed, jumping into my arms and wrapping her legs around my waist, like she usually does.

"Oh my god, I haven't seen you since last semester!"

"I know! I was swamped with extra-curriculars and tests", she said,

Hopping back down.

I look over and was met with Rhea's intense gaze.

"Rhea, this is my friend, Liv. She goes to the school down the road from us"

"It's really nice to meet you!"

"Pleasure", Rhea greeted,

Her tone dry and unwelcoming. I give her a look of confusion, to which she simply ignored me, before walking off.

Besides that slight hiccup, the night went on just as I expected. With me getting wasted and making a fool of myself with Liv in the sea of dancing people.

Every now and then, I'd catch glimpses of Rhea staring daggers into me and for some reason, I didn't really mind. As a matter of fact, I sort of enjoyed the attention more than I was willing to admit.

That was until Liv grabbed my hips from behind and began swaying them, which then caused Rhea to visibly scoff and disappear from view.

Even in my drunken haze, I could tell she was irritated, but I decided to let her cool off, before attempting to ask any questions.

I did eventually feel the drinks working their way down, so I pulled Liv in close.

"I'm going to the bathroom!"

"Kk!", she yelled back.

I began stumbling towards the bathroom and swung the door open, just to find Rhea sitting in the empty bathtub.

"Hey there, stranger. I haven't seen you all night", I slurred.

"Yeah, you noticed? I'm surprised with the spectacular company that's been entertaining you"

My eyes squint curiously.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She sighs through her nose, looking away.

"Nothing"

It was now my turn to sigh, as I closed the door behind me and sat on the floor, beside the tub.

"Someone's jealous", I teased.

She didn't respond and merely scoffed once again.

"I saaaid someone's jealous-"

"And what if I was?", she interrupts.

In that very moment, any ounce of drunkness violently fled my body.

"What?", I chuckled nervously,

"What if...I was?", she repeated,

Sitting up and gripping the edge of the tub to bring herself closer to my face.

I was at a complete loss for words. Hit with so many emotions at once, that I froze in place, just staring blanky at her.

"What do you-"

Before I could complete my sentence, she cuts me off by crashing her lips onto mine. The strangest part of it all was the fact that I didn't pull away.

It felt...good.

I grab her face and pressed deeper into the kiss, whilst swiping my tongue over her bottom lip, tugging it slightly with my teeth.

Her own hands do the same and before I knew it, she pulls me into the tub, straddling her hips. I felt myself growing needier with each passing second, but before anything else could happen, she made her way down my neck, whispering.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting this"

That's when reality finally hit me. I was in love with my best friend this entire time and couldn't bring myself to admit it. I was in love with a girl. All the pieces of myself that I thought were broken were now starting to make sense and I just wasn't ready.

I hastily pull away, getting out of the tub.

"Where are you going?"

"We can't do this", I say,

Wiping the smudged lipstick off my cheek.

"(Y/N)"

"I'm sorry, Rhea, I can't", I rushed,

As she stood up to follow me.

"(Y/N)-", she steps out of the tub,

"Please", I pleaded with teary eyes,

Catching off guard.

"Just...I can't", I choked back a sob.

I rush out of the bathroom and left the party entirely, but as I ran home with tears streaming down my face, my phone kept blowing up with messages and incoming calls.

Some being from Liv, looking for me and others from Rhea, begging me to come back so she could explain. I simply turned my phone off and finally arrive at the steps of my house.

I was consumed with more emotions than I could handle. Confusion, helplessness, fear, but most of all, grief. I was now meant to grieve the loss of my best friend and possibly the love of my life.

That night was the last time I'd ever spoken to her.

Rhea would continue to try and get a hold of me, but a few weeks go by and she eventually got the hint.

At school, I'd take different routes to try and avoid her and when we did cross paths in the hallway, I'd just speed-walk past her to get to my next class.

Losing someone like her has been and still is one of my biggest regrets.

"Hellooo?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Liv's hand waving at me.

"What?"

"I asked if I should do an updo or have my hair down"

"Oh"

"Are you okay? You seem like a bajillion miles away right now", she questioned,

"I'm fine"

"Mhm", she crosses her arms,

"What?"

"Nothing. If you say so", she shrugged,

Turning back to the mirror.

"Liv", I urged warningly,

"It's just, are you sure this isn't about...Rhea?"

"What? No"

She sighs, hopping on top of my vanity.

"What?", I repeated,

"How long have I known you?"

"Well...a while"

"And in that while, do you really think I can't tell when you're lying?"

It was now my turn to sigh, as my arms fold over my chest.

"What happened was...less than ideal, but don't let that ruin your night. You deserve to have fun", she says,

Getting back on her feet and making her way over to the bed, as I shrug, watching her take a seat next to me.

"Who knows, maybe she still feels the same way", she nudges,

"That's not funny"

"I'm being serious! Who you are isn't anyone else's business, but your own and if you do end up telling her the truth, that should be your choice", she emphasized,

"Look, (Y/N), you're a total babe. Anyone would be lucky to have someone as sweet and funny and pretty and smart and-"

"Okay, okay, enough with the flattery", I chuckle,

Nudging her back.

"Hey and if all else fails, we can still get wasted"

"See? This is why you're my friend", I say,

High-fiving her.

The days came and went in what felt like a flash and before we knew, it was the day of the reunion.

With each moment that passed of us being in the cab, my heart grew burdened by anxiety. What was I supposed to do if I saw her? What if she came up to me? Would she tell me off in front of everyone? Was I prepared for that to happen?

Worst of all...what if she brought a date?

"Stop doing that"

"Doing what?"

"I see the hamster wheels spinning"

I sigh, relaxing into the seat. Liv then pulls out a cannister and sneaks it under my purse.

"You're lucky I came prepared"

"You really did", I say,

Twisting off the cap and carefully taking a swig.

"But don't over do it. I actually wanna dance a little before we black out"

We arrive at the high school and I was immediately taken back. The grass, the steps, the doorway. It truly felt like a blast from the past.

"Just as ugly as I remember!", I squealed,

Throwing a hand over my mouth, as Liv snorts, leaning against me.

The gymnasium was packed with many familiar faces, two of which were a set of twins I used to know.

"Yo, no fucking way"

"Hey, Jey", I greeted with a beaming smile,

"If it ain't miss (Y/L/N). Man, you still look good"

I playfully roll my eyes, as he pulls me into a hug.

"I haven't seem your ass in a minute, ma"

"No! I saw you a few years ago, when I came to one of Liv's matches"

"Like I said, a hot minute"

I laugh, pulling away to greet everyone else.

The DJ starts playing a song from way back when and Liv gives a mischievous grin.

"Oh god"

"You know the drill, come on", she drags me onto the dance floor,

And all of our friends followed suit.

As we started to dance, the gym doors open, catching my attention. My face immediately drops upon realizing who it was.

"What?", Liv turns to see and her own eyes widen.

"Shit"

There she was.

Only, I almost didn't recognize her. From the new black hair slicked back, to the expensive three piece suit and tattoos, my heart nearly gave out.

She was nothing short of breathtaking.

Her eyes immediately fall upon mine and it felt like everyone else disappeared. Even with her new entourage behind her, being rowdy, all I could focus on was the dejected look on her face.

I had only myself to blame. Had I not been a coward sooner, none of this would've happened. We wouldn't have cut ties, grown apart and gone our separate ways. We might've even-

"You good, uce?", Jey snaps me back to reality,

"Yeah, I'm fine"

"(Y/N)-"

"I'm fine, Liv. Really", I reassured,

"I'm just gonna go to the bathroom", I let my friends now,

Before walking out of the gymnasium.

I knew this was all my own fault, but I couldn't help but tear up, thinking of all the things I could've done to change what happened. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than me.

I arrive at the bathroom and lock myself in the handicap stall.

With no one around to hear me, I finally let go of all the tears I'd been desperately fighting back. After allowing myself a good few minutes to cry, I grab some tissues to wipe off the makeup that was surely running down my face.

I recollect myself and exit the stall, but as I went to check on myself in the mirror, the door creaks open and it was none other than Rhea walking in.

There couldn't have been a worse possible time than now to run into each other.

"Sorry", she said with her head low,

Stepping back out.

"Wait, Rhea"

She simply ignored me and kept walking, to which I followed behind her.

"Rhea, could we please talk about this?"

"Talk about what?"

"Please", I begged,

She finally stops and turns to face me.

"I'm sorry"

"Alright"

"Rhea, please", I pleaded,

Taking a hold of her wrist and making her eyes pour into mine. Even being this close to her made my heart race against the inside of my chest.

I carefully let her go and she stuffs her hands into her pockets.

It was now or never. I could either just let her walk away and risk never seeing her again or make things right, so... I took a deep breath and began.

"I wanna start off by saying I understand that you're angry. You have every right to be and I don't blame you for it", I reassured.

Her eyes never leaving my face as I spoke.

"But before you go, I just need to tell you how sorry I am", I start to choke up,

"Nothing I say or do can ever make up for how I ended things...but I'm sorry"

Her gaze was still intense, but I could make out her eyes glossing over.

"I'm sorry for leaving you with no explanation. It was childish and stupid, but I promise, it had nothing to do with you. I was scared and I didn't know who I was back then, but I do now. I am a woman who likes other women", I wept,

As she takes a deep breath in.

"I am a woman...who was in love with her best friend", I admit.

The confession causing her face and shoulders to drop.

"She just wasn't ready to say it"

"(Y/N)", she exhales,

"But that doesn't excuse me just leaving you in the dark and for that, I am so so sorry", I cried.

"No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not someone like you. Someone so kind and so beautiful", I softly cup her cheek,

As she melted into my touch.

"I know I don't deserve it, but you'll have me, I promise I will never hurt you again"

She shakes her head with a tearful smile, taking my hands into hers.

"I am so proud of you", she says,

As tear rolls down her cheek and meets the tip of my fingers.

"You are?"

"That's all I've ever wanted to hear"

And for the first time in a long time, I felt...light. The years of shouldering this burden was gone and I could finally breathe again.

I was so caught up in what was going on, that I almost didn't notice the audience of our friends gathered behind me. Guess I just have to lay it all out there now.

"Guys", I start,

When I felt Rhea's hand grab mine to make me face her.

"(Y/N), you don't have to do this"

"I do"

If she was brave enough to come out all those years ago, it was now my turn to have that same courage. I turn back towards the small crowd and see Liv cheering me on with a nod.

"I love Rhea and I'm not hiding it anymore"

A fleeting moment of silence overtakes the hallways, before they all rush in to hug me.

"I'm proud so of you, kid!", Liv squeals,

Causing Rhea and I to laugh amidst the group hug.

"You're a g, (Y/N)", Jey joins in,

"You finally got the girl!", Dominik yells,

Making Priest playfully smack the back of his head.

They all pull away, allowing Rhea and I to face each other once more.

"Let's give them their space, guys", Liv say,

Ushering everyone back into the gymnasium.

Without wasting another precious moment, she pulls me in and kisses me with a newfound passion.

This was how it was meant to be.

#rhea ripley #wwe #rhea ripley x reader #rhea ripley oneshot #rhea ripley fanfic #rhea ripley fluff #rhea ripley angst #rhea ripley smut #demi bennett

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ewanmitchellconnoisseur · 3 months

Text

"𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑮𝒊𝒓𝒍 𝑩𝒂𝒅"

A/N: This is part two of "You can't run forever". //Divider- @cafekitsune

Summary: Tom finally gets the chance to tell you how he feels and shows you how badly he wants to be with you.

Tw: fingering, unprotected s*x, degradation, public s*x, smut

<<Previous Part

After Tom's wake-up call, he got ready and walked across the street to your house. He knew you would be leaving for work any second now.

As you opened the front door you instantly saw Tom sitting on the bottom step and the scent of smoke in your nose.

"Mornin' Tom." You close the door behind you getting a glimpse of your mother sitting at the kitchen table who has a smirk on her face and gives you a wink.

"Love." Tom puts the cigarette out and stands up. "What we up to today then?"

"Workin'. Covering for Mandy, she's sick." You both start walking down the path. "You?"

"Not much." He watches the occasional cars pass by in silence. "Actually...I want to ask you something..." Tom grabs your hand and stops walking.

"Alright...what is it?" For a moment he just stands there staring at you. Tom had never had any struggles talking to women but when it came to you it is as if he forgets how to even breathe properly. "Tom?"

He blinks quickly and takes a deep breath in. Deep down you already know what he is going to say but you want to hear it from his own lips.

"I-I was wonderin' if you'd maybe want to...go out sometime? Just the two of us..." His heart is pounding in his ears as he waits for even the smallest of reactions from you.

The little girl inside you is jumping for joy. Tom Bennett just asked you out! But there is a woman who stands in her way from getting with her childhood crush. Tom ignored you all through school, flirted with friends and ignored you when you left for college. Now after all of that, he wants to take you out on a date? Yeah, not happening.

"Listen Tom..." His heart dropped, he already knew how this was going to go. "...For so long I had a crush on you and I waited for you to ask me out, but instead you flirted with my friends and then completely ignored me whenever I tried to talk with you."

"I know...I just. You've always been so good. You're smart, a good daughter, you help people without being asked and-" He cuts himself off and sighs. "I was worried that I'd ruin that, that I'd ruin your goodness."

Tom had never been one to talk about his feelings. He preferred to always be a jokester and run away from them. It was nice hearing him finally be open and honest.

"And me? I'm not even half of the person you are, and I never will be. But for you, I-I'd like to try." With your hand still in his he pulls you closer to him. "And I'd hate myself if I didn't. So...just like how I made you wait...I'll wait. I'll wait for you to tell me if we have a chance."

Before you can say anything he kisses you on the cheek wishes you a good day at work and leaves. You stand there on the sidewalk jaw slacked and wide-eyed...who was that? Cause surely that couldn't be your Tom.

Eventually, you realize you're going to be late and continue your walk to work. During your entire shift, your mind keeps running over his words. He sounded sincere, he looked sincere. It was only natural you still had your doubts and worries but you had wanted this for so long and it was finally happening.

In the week that passed Tom backed off a bit. He stopped smothering you and gave you the space you needed to think over what he said. Though he did occasionally walk you to work he'd stop you from giving him an answer just yet, insisting you think over it a little longer.

Today you finally got a day off and not just from work. Your dad was getting better and your mom had plans to stay home for the day. Lois had invited you out for drinks where she'd be singing for the night. You weren't one to go out really but Lois had been like a sister to you all your life and you wanted to support her and her dreams. Plus your mom insisted that you get out of the house and spend some actual time with people who weren't your parents.

So you sat at a table with some people all of you cheering her on as she sang. You hadn't dressed up too much but still wanted to look your best. For totally no reason at all and not for anyone in particular.

You offer to get a fresh round of drinks and head over to the bar. As you lean on the bartop waiting for your drinks you feel a hand snake around your waist. You immediately tensed ready to fight off whatever drunken idiot lost his mind.

"You're driving me nuts in this dress love." You relaxed as you realized it was Tom's hands. As his head rests on your shoulders you can smell that familiar alcohol smell. "Saw ya sitting next to Dan. Should I be worried?" You roll your eyes with a smirk on your face.

Dan had too shown some interest in you when you came back, but even you weren't dumb enough to get with him.

"That man is more committed to his beer than he is to women." You turn around and face him. Tom adjusts his hands so they're still resting on your waist. "You finally ready for my answer?"

Tom narrowed his eyes and stared at you for a moment before shaking his head.

"Not yet." You were starting to get annoyed. Although he said he would be the one waiting it felt like it was you. You could feel yourself getting irritated.

"Tom. I have an answer just let-" Tom pulled you in and kissed you. It was gentle and slow. Not the type of kiss you'd ever imagine having with him. You pegged him as an aggressive kisser type of guy but this was a pleasant surprise. Once he feels you relax into the kiss he pulls away slowly.

"I'll walk you home later. Tell me then yeah?" Tom walks away and joins his group of friends. You turn and grab the drinks you ordered and return back to your table. You enjoy the rest of your night and cheer on Lois.

When the night comes to an end you say goodbye and head out of the pub. As you step out you wrap your jacket around you tighter.

"Ready to go love?" You turn around and see Tom leaning against a wall smoking. He puts it out and walks over to you taking his hand in yours. You both begin walking. Tom's finger brushes over your hand gently as you walk. You can feel how clammy his hands are.

Once you two reach the last bit of walking before you're outside your house you stop holding his hand tightly so he can't walk away.

"Tom." You grab his other hand. "Can we talk now?" You sigh. "Listen-"

"Don't. Please." You were immediately confused. "I know your crush on me was a long time ago and we-" You put your hand over his mouth.

"Tom. Shut. Up." He stared at you wide-eyed. "I was ready to say yes to you the second you asked me." Within moments Tom's lips were on yours and his arms wrapped around you.

Tom leads you both down the alleyway behind your house stopping at your back door.

"I know it's not the most romantic of places but I can't wait any longer." He presses you against the wall as his hands dive in between your legs bunching up your dress and just brushing softly over your clit through your underwear.

He kept gently rubbing you through your underwear as he kissed you deeply, feeling you get wetter by the minute.

"Please..." You needed more. Tom smiled kissing the corner of your lips before moving your underwear to the side. He slowly pushed a finger inside painfully slow. You reached down and started undoing his pants.

"Is this what college turned you into?" He leaned in kissing your neck whispering in your ear. "A needy whore?" He curled his finger searching for that spot as he small hickeys over your neck. He adds another finger pushing in and out of you gently and agonizingly slow. "Always thought I'd be the one to take your virginity." He kept his slow pace. "That's alright. Ill settle for being the man who fucks you the best." He whispers in your ear.

You lean your head back against the cold brick of the building as his fingers do their work. Your moans get louder as he brings you closer to your peak. You cum around his fingers knees feeling slightly weak as he holds you up.

In an instant, Tom picks you up using the wall to help keep you steady as he frees his cock from the confines of his pants. He runs the tip through your folds covering himself in your slick.

"Tell me your mine." Hold holds himself just at your entrance teasing both himself and you. "Say it." He used the thick tip of his cock and circled it around your clit.

"I'm yours." Tom smiled and then slowly pushed himself in. As he bottomed out inside of you he let out a soft groan.

"Fucking perfect pussy." His hands go under your ass as he drags himself in and out of you watching how you coat his cock forming a white ring around his base.

He picks up pace pounding into you as his hands squeeze your ass chasing that feeling. You lazily wrap your legs around his hips locking him in place as his cock hits that perfect spot.

"Fuck! Right there!" Tom can feel you tightening around him. He moves from the wall and steps one foot up onto the steps leading up to your backdoor.

He lowers you deeper on his cock the only sounds in the alleyway being his balls slapping against your ass and your moans. He continues to fuck roughly into you as you both near your climax. Tom kisses you again as you both moan into each other's mouths.

"fuck fuck fuck." As his movements become sloppy your cum hard around him your legs slightly shaking around his body. You can tell he's close by how his face is screwed up. Just before Tom comes he pulls himself off and you take him in your hand finishing himself off, his cum coating your leg.

He sits on the steps with you on his lap and his head resting against your chest. "You meant it?" Tom mumbles. You lean back take his head in your hands and kiss him.

"Yeah. I did. Im yours." He kisses you again before helping to straighten back your dress and tucking himself back into his pants. You sit and talk on those steps for a while longer before you kiss goodbye and head into your house.

You silently close the backdoor and slowly remove your shoes while a stupid grin is painted on your face.

"Glad you went out then yeah?" Your mom doesn't look up from her book but has a cheeky grin on her face.

Meanwhile, Tom climbs up into his bedroom. The only thought on his mind is you as he revels in his victory.

"Finally turned the good girl bad."

A/N: This took me so long to write! I have so many essays due! But I hope you guys like it! This is the last part, it was just a short story ❤️😊

General Taglist: @valeskafics @thought--bubble Series Taglist: @dixie-elocin

#ewan mitchell #best fanfic #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell verse #tom bennet fanfic #tom bennet fanfiction #tom bennett #tom bennet x reader #tom bennett smut #tom bennett x you #tom bennett fanfic

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sweetpiccolo-blog · 10 months

Text

To take care of you... (SMUT)

Oscar Piastri x Reader

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ! ONLY 18+

A/N: This was such an impulsive activity but worth it. This is what I produced. Hope you like it. Warnings: SMUT, and a tiny bit of fluff

Words: 1,8k

Summer holiday has started and somehow you were stuck on track. Well not somehow, some tests were being run. In scorching sun, the guys from McLaren were making one fastest lap after another one, testing the tires, new upgrades, anything and everything.

The only time they were not in their cars was during lunch and at the end in the evening. The sun was starting to set and everyone was running around the garage to tidy everything up ASAP so they could go home. Lando and Oscar went into their rooms to get out of the drenched suits.

You were Oscar's right hand so you tried to give him some time to get ready to leave, while you tried to get some data for him before he sees them in the team meeting.

You were chatting with some engineers, when you realized that Oscar is probably waiting for you all cleaned up and ready to go. You excuse yourself and head for the Australian´s room. You knock and get back a soft Come in ! .

You enter and what you see makes you soften your gaze.

Oscar is laying on the couch, sprawled all over, still sweaty and half asleep. What makes you quickly worried is the A/C turned on to maximum blowing straight at him.

“Oscar! Get up. You can't be laying completely drenched under the cold air. You'll get sick! Is that what you want?”

He softly groans and stirs awake. You decided to have none of this so you pull him up and into the bathroom, not caring if he is awake. You helped him out of his shoes and suit, leaving him sitting on the floor in the fireproof white shirt and pants. “Okay mate, you'll have to do the rest. I give you 10 minutes, then we are leaving.” You close the door, not giving him a chance to complain.

You smile to yourself as this reminds you of his good old F2 times. Oscar was never a drinker, but once he was celebrating his victory with his friends and overdid it. Luckily you were there to save him and get him into bed safely. The only differences are that he isn't drunk now and you work for him.

After a while he comes out, wrapped in a towel, looking like he is more awake. “Good morning sleepyhead. C´mon get dressed and I will wait for you in the car.” , you tease him with a smile. “I know you want to get to the hotel quickly, but you are quite bossy. I hope I'm still sleeping and you aren't this rude to me in reality.”, replies Oscar jokingly, faking a frown. “Can't we stay here for a little bit? Just a quick nap. Then I'll drive to the hotel.”, he tries offering. “Osi, no. Get dressed or I'm leaving you here.”

He sighs: “Yes chef.”

You go gather his belongings, taking them to the car and saying your farewell to the team for the day, learning that Lando has already left. Oscar gets to you and together you walk towards the car. “You have a lot to learn as a rookie from your teammate.” He looks at you confused: ”What do you mean?”

“Well, he is already on his way, wasting no time…” “Oh cmon, give me a break…”

“Not yet, gotta get you to your room.” “I'm not a kid anymore and you know me since childhood.” he whines.

“Exactly, I know you enough to know you need to be taken care of 24/7.” you smirk his way as you put the bags into the car. “Osi, I know you are exhausted but just cooperate with me for a few more minutes. I know you can.”

The ride to the hotel was a bit different than you thought. You expected Oscar to fall asleep, instead he was very responsive and talkative. Not like you didn't enjoy it, you just didn't expect it. Finally you arrived at your destination and got out. It was kinda early for you to go eat dinner so you went straight for the rooms. As your trusty friend unlocks the door for you he helps you with some bags and lays on the bed. You look at him: “Alright, I will leave you now. See you tomorrow morning Osi-”

He sits up suddenly. “Hold on! Can you stay the night here? You will just get the stuff you need from your room and come back. We can have a sleepover! Like old times.” he blurs out with hope in his eyes. You laugh at his eagerness and sit next to him : “Well if that's what you want… we can, but if you snore, I'm kicking you out on the balcony.” you joke. “Hey! This is my room. I'm the boss here, your rules don't work on me here.” You look at him with a glint in your eyes. “Oh really?” You were feeling a little bolder today so you decided to play with him a bit. You stood up and climbed onto him so your legs were beside his thighs and you hugged him around his shoulders. Eyes looking at his reddening face and inching closer. “ Someone is feeling themselves after nearly winning a race. Isn't that right?” He was too stunned to say anything. When he finally realized he had you like that, nearly sitting in his lap he woke up from his day dream and put his hands on your hips. It felt so so much better than you thought, to have his palms touch you and warm you up. But you weren't letting him have you. “Well then thanks for letting me stay here for the night Osi. I'll go get my stuff and get right back here.” you ruffled his soft locks and left to go for your pjs. But you didn't get far because the racing driver caught your wrist thanks to his quick reflexes. Under his breath he says: “Where do you think you're going.” You got caught off guard. That didn't sound like a question at all. Oscar stood up and towered over you. “I don't think I am the one feeling them-self in here. You are not going anywhere until we get that attitude out of you.” You are now the shocked one. You are about to say something but he pulls you towards him so your palms are on his chest. “You got to tell me what to do since Thursday. Now it's my turn and you are going to listen, understand sweetie?”

This Oscar was so hot. Not that he isn't usually hot but now he wasn't goofy hot. Just HOT.

“Yes-”

“There we go, I knew you could behave well.” he smiled “Is it okay if I kiss you?”. You stare at him for a moment and smash your lips together. You two get into a rhythm and just go for it. It's messy, it's hot but absolutely amazing. He is holding you by your hips, your hands are on the sides of his head. When you separate to breathe, you simultaneously decide to get rid of your clothes. You climb on the bed in your bra and panties as he stumbles out of his pants and climbs on top of you. You kiss yet again but now with more touching. He pets your stomach and touches around your thighs. You caress his neck and trace his chest with your fingers. Soft touches are everywhere. He pulls away : “God…you are stunning”. He takes your hand and puts a little kiss on your palm. Then he intertwines your and his hand as he squeezes it. You realize how much he loves you. He loves you and knows you care about him. You look into his eyes and nod at him. A silent signal of trust.

“Climb on top of me…” he orders softly. You sit up and move to hover above his thighs. You guide his hands to the back of your bra and he understands what must be done. He frees your chest and lets his hands do the work. You sigh in comfort and get your fingers in his brown locks. He is so gentle, yet he knows what he wants and you love it. The kisses around your shoulders, chest, upper arms, ribs, just everywhere. It is his and you let him claim it.

“Osi… don't tease” you whine. “Don't. I want to explore you. Don't be so tense, let me spread my love everywhere…” he speaks against your skin. “Your skin's so soft... so smooth... so warm.”

You let him do what he wants and then it's time to get rid of the last piece of clothing on both of you. He grabs a spare condom from his wallet and puts it on. You would ask him jokingly where he got it from but you don't want to ruin the mood, so you climb on top of him once again. You put your hands on his shoulders and kiss him deeply one last time before hovering over him and slowly sinking down. Your quiet moan turns into a louder one as Oscar helps you go further down. “Shh, you can take it.” You hide your face in his neck and breathe in his scent. He smells so familiar. Like home. "You're doing so well for me love."

Slowly he starts moving your hips, breathing out softly. You start lifting yourself up and down again and again. A steady pace is set and you both enjoy the feeling. “You were made for me…” escapes from Oscar's mouth in a small moan. You look down at him, at his pleasured gaze and kiss his cheek. This nice and calm rocking suddenly turns into you being handled by Oscar as you repeat his name like a mantra. “Say it louder. I need to remember you saying my name like this.” You were slowly starting to lose control over your body and just let Oscar do what he wanted. His name left your lips in shorter and louder yelps. He loved it. He brought you to this state. And you let him. The trust he was given fueled his hips to meet yours in the middle. Your muscles were like enchanted, contorting in pleasure.

Oscar laid you down and took over completely. He will bring you two to the oh so desired state as if his life depended on it. His lips worked on marking your chest and his hips hammered into you like no tomorrow. You felt him everywhere, he overtook all of your senses and clouded your mind. The hand on your belly and the other one on your sensitive nerve sent you over and you yelling out Oscar´s name helped him reach his seventh heaven.

And just like that it was over. Oscar composed himself, threw away the condom and went into the bathroom. Soon he returned with a wet cloth and a cup of water as you leaned on your elbows. “Now let me take care of you baby…” he said with a smile and you returned it.

#f1 #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x reader #oscar piastri #f1 fanfic #f1 smut #f1 one shot #op81 #oscar piastri smut #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you

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noforkingclue · 4 months

Note

Bestie, I just saw the Calvin Klein ad for JAW, and he got me thirsty for some Carmy. I'm thinking childhood friend he was head over heels for before he left and never told them. friend comes to the Bear and something cute occurs?

idk bestie my brain just fried itself coming up with just that, message me if you want more info and I'll pull something out of my ass

Note: requests are currently close

Ugh, same! That ad was certainly something!

I hope you like the fic :)

Title: Reunion

Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @byebyebreezywrites. @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian, @simonsbluee

It felt strange coming back to the restaurant after so many years staying away from it. You popped in occasionally after Mike’s suicide but it never really felt the same. You hadn’t really been a regular since Carmy left (not that he was ever in the restaurant that often) but now you had a reason to come back. You smiled as you walked through the doors and into the familiar restaurant, however you couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. You really shouldn’t have stayed away for so long.

“Oi, y/n, where the fuck have you been?”

The lunch rush had died down and you beamed at Richie who was behind the counter. He gave you an unimpressed look but you could see the amusement in his eyes.

“Missed me?” you asked teasingly

“Fuck no.”

“Then I guess I’m not welcome here.”

“You don’t get to leave this fucking quickly. Not after being away for so fucking long.”

Richie practically pushed you into a seat and you rolled your eyes teasingly. Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed away for so long. You looked over your shoulder as you heard the door slam open.

“What the fuck- y/n?”

Ah. And there was the reason why you decided to visit again. Carmy was staring at you wide eyed. You smiled softly and stood up.

“Heya Carm.”

“Y/n… you’re here… I thought…”

The colour started to rise to Carmy’s cheeks and you stood up and walked over to him. He seemed mildly startled and stumbled back.

“I’ve got to, y’know, go to the kitchen. Start cooking.”

Carmy practically ran into the kitchen and you couldn’t help but feel deflated. You had always been too afraid to tell him your feelings and when he went away you knew your chance had been lost. You had tried to move on (emphasis on tried) but seeing Carmy again ignited all your old feelings. You went back to your table and slumped into your seat. Well, that certainly cleared things up about Carmy’s feelings towards you.

What you didn’t know was that Carmy was having a similar dilemma in the back. Syd stood in front of the door to his office. She folded her arms and raised her eyebrows at him.

“What’s going on out there.” she said

“Nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing.”

“Cousin here was always fucking in love with y/n out there,” Richie said as he slung an arm over Carmy’s shoulders, “but he didn’t have the fucking balls to tell her before he left.”

“I wasn’t in love with her,” Carmy snapped, shrugging Richie’s arm off of him, “she was a friend.”

“But he always wanted it to be more.” said Richie

“No I fucking didn’t!”

“Well y/n certainly did,” Tina said from the kitchen, “you never noticed the looks she kept giving you.”

When nobody responded Tina looked up from her chopping. Richie was giving Carmy an amused and smug look while Syd looked intrigued, clearly wanting to hear more. The colour had drained from Carmy’s face and he was looking paler than usual.

“What?” Tina said, “It was fucking obvious.”

“I didn’t know.” said Carmy weakly

“‘Course you fucking didn’t.” Tina said rolling her eyes

“Then now’s your fucking chance,” said Richie, “to stop your fucking pining.”

“I don’t pine.” snapped Carmy

“Well maybe now would be a good time to-” started Syd

“I have work to do,” said Carmy, “we have the dinner rush- hey, what the fuck are you doing!”

Richie grabbed Carmy and practically pushed him out of the kitchen. You looked up when Carmy stumbled out. An awkward silence settled between you and you thought that Carmy was going to run away again. Instead he took a deep breath and went over to you and sat down opposite you. You smile gently at him but Carmy was looking down at the table.

“So,” you said, “long time no see.”

“Yeah.”

“I missed you.”

“I…”

Carmy cut himself off, unable to tell you how he really felt. You pursed your lips but didn’t press the issue. You knew Carmy too well to push him too far.

“Not in the kitchen then?” you asked

“No I-”

Carmy ran a hand over his face. He couldn’t exactly tell you that he was forced out here. How he really wanted to be here with you but didn’t know if he could do it.

“To tell you the truth,” you said, “I’m glad you’re out here.”

“You are?”

“Yeah. I-”

This time it was you who cut off mid sentence. You tried to find the right words as Carmy looked up slowly, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“I wanted to catch up.” you finished lamely, the courage you had originally felt disappearing

“Catch up?”

“Well, among other things.” you muttered, face hot

“Such as?”

“Oh you know.”

“Would you like to get dinner?”

You looked at Carmy wide eyed and even he seemed shocked at his outburst.

“Only if you want,” he said, retreating back into his shell slightly, “If not just forget I said anything.”

“Yes,” you said quickly, “Yes I do.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

It took Carmy a second to realise what you had said. In a flash he was on his feet and offering you his hand which, much to his surprise, you took.

“Shall we go somewhere else,” he said, “I don’t think we’ll get complete privacy here.”

You glanced over at the kitchen and immediately heard people running back into the kitchen. You heard the familiar yelling of Richie and smiled.

“Sounds like a plan.”

#fanfiction #the bear #reader insert #request #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader

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captain-mj · 4 months

Note

Okay, so I'm very sick rn, and could use an order of Fluff, please.

Maybe some GhostSoap where Ghost gets deliriously sick and is having hallucinations, and Soap just stays there and comforts him through it all?

Wrote this while a tiny bit depressed so I hope you like it

Ghost never got sick. He just didn't. The mask kept him from getting most airborne illnesses (presumably) and he was careful to never get infections.

But somehow. Someway. He had... something. Didn't matter. The fever that wracked his body was vicious and cruel.

Soap was currently sitting with him and fretting. He was muttering about medicine and what to do and stuff that made Ghost's head hurt.

Someone... spoke. His head jerked towards it but it didn't repeat.

"Simon." Soap called to him, putting his hand on his warm cheek. "You're burning up." His voice sounded very far away.

Gentle hands laid him down. For a moment, he felt like a kid again, safe and sound in his mom's arms. He heard someone whimper and wondered if Soap had hurt himself.

Soap carefully tapped his cheek and he opened his mouth on command. A pill was slipped into his mouth and then some cold water followed. Ghost closed his eyes and drifted.

Something called to him again. Speaking to him sweetly. "You need to get up."

Ghost grunted, his head aching. The hand came back, gently running through his hair.

The voice faded to a soft humming. One of the Beatle's songs. His mom's favorite.

Ghost softly hummed along and he swore he could smell her perfume.

Her absence hit him hard as the perfume disappeared. He keened softly, reaching out for her hand again. When he was sick as a kid, she'd give him plain toast and maybe a cup of tea until he felt up for soup. Always the same. Some cheap mix of chicken and vegetable.

Ghost wanted that. He wanted her hand on his hair and his childhood bedroom.

Soap kissed his forehead. "Simon. Why do you look so sad?"

Ghost looked at him and winced. "Johnny... Please don't leave me."

"Hey, I'm not going to leave ya. Gonna stay right here."

Ghost grabbed his hand and kissed his wrist.

"You're burning up." Soap said softly. He grabbed a rag that he dipped in cold water and gently puts it to his forehead. "I'm worried about you."

"No medics. Please."

Soap smiled sadly. "Alright. I'll stay with you until you feel better." He gently put the rag on his cheek and then on his throat.

Ghost groaned softly in relief and smiled. "Thank you. I love you." He missed Soap's sad look.

The hallucinations could not be kind. They couldn't stay as just a sign of grief.

A skeleton stood there. It watched him. Body unnatural.

It popped it's head off and held it out to him.

"Your mother's skull. You killed her."

Ghost closed his eyes tight, afraid.

"Your brother's rib cage. You killed him too."

Ghost covered his ears and the whimpering came again. It didn't occur to him that he could make those noises.

Soap put his arms around him and pulled him to his chest. "I got you, Simon. I got you."

Ghost shivered hard and he pulled up just long enough to take off his shirt. He pressed into Soap's body, feeling the heat rolling off of him. When he tentatively opened his eyes, there was nothing there.

Soap kissed his sweaty hair. "Later, we'll take a shower okay?"

Ghost turned around and hugged on to him, face buried into his skin. "I love you."

"Stop saying that. You're only saying that because you're delirious."

"I'm sorry. I guess I should say it more often. Don't want you to doubt that." Ghost rubbed against him like a cat.

Soap sighed softly and gently ran his hands up and down his back. "Alright, Simon."

Ghost rested against him, enjoying the warmth. Later, he might put on his mask and pretend this never happened. But the part of him that he normally kept shoved down really hoped he wouldn't. He hoped he'd kiss Soap sober and say he loved him again until he realized he was telling the truth.

But for now, his whole body felt like it was on fire. His head hurt. His muscles were sore. So he rested there, safe and sound and with Johnny's heartbeat in his ears.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #johnny soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare ii #cod mw2 #ghostsoap #cod #soapghost #ghoap

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steve-faglan · 5 months

Text

Breaking and Entering

Reader x Steve Raglan/ William Afton

TW: NON CON, NON CON, NON CON!!!

Summary: You and your best friend, Mike decide to break into the old Freddy Fazbear's Pizza Restaurant to get high and explore the relics of your youth. It's all well and good until you realize you're not the only ones in the building.

PART TWO: HERE❤️

William Afton was widely known to be involved in the disappearance of several children during the years that Freddy Fazbear's Pizza was open. Because of this, he's renamed himself Steve Raglan and taken on the role of career counselor to ensure a security guard for his life's work.

Not only smart but extremely well coordinated, William navigates the halls and secret passageways of Freddy's today just as swiftly as he did in the 80's.

You'd been to Freddy's back in its glory days. You've seen the animatronics in their prime and even witnessed the tall yellow rabbit mascot that used to walk around, though he creeped you out, so you always steered clear.

Lately, college has been taking a toll on your mental state, so you decide to indulge in some good old-fashioned nostalgia in the form of "innocently" breaking and entering at Freddy's. Mostly you're just looking for a place to smoke a joint and think about anything other than your major you wish you'd switched a year ago.

"Come on, you said you'd go with me. No one's ever there, it's been closed since the fucking 80s, man," you plead with your friend Mike to join you.

"The temp agency just tried to get me to work there!"

"So then there's no security, right?!" You drive a hard bargain or maybe Mike's extremely obvious feelings for you influence all his decisions.

"Alright. I'll be over in 10. I'm putting Abby to bed." He caves and you giggle in victory before hanging up. While waiting for Mike, you roll a few joints, grab your CD player, and slide a lighter into your front pocket. The minutes drag by until you hear Mike's piece of shit car pull into your driveway. You bolt out the door and climb into the vacant passenger seat.

Mike can't help but stare at you for a minute. You're easily the most beautiful person in this town as far as he's concerned, but he can't bring himself to make a move considering his ever-complicated home life.

"Thanks for doing this, dude. School is kicking my ass." You smile at your friend, and he quickly turns away, hoping the night is concealing the blush on his cheeks.

The drive to Freddy's is short and exciting. It's been years since you've seen this place. Mike pulls into the furthest, darkest corner of the parking lot and the two of you devise a plan of entry. At the very back of the building, there are two large loading dock doors. With both you and Mike using all your strength, you get it open just enough to crawl through.

"Jesus Christ, what did I let you talk me into?" Mike coughs away the dust.

"Come on, this way!" You drag him by the arm, the blood in his face rising just from your touch. Anyone with two eyes could see how Mike felt about you, except you.

You and Mike sit on the floor, right in front of the main stage. The four, old robotic humanoid animals still occupy their spots, holding their respective instruments or props. Time has been unkind to them.

You spark up one of the joints and pass it back and forth to Mike. You each share a headphone as you stare into the tall, decrepit ceiling of the restaurant.

"You think the bathrooms here still work?" Mike asks, breaking the peaceful silence.

"Surely they do if they wanted you to work here, right?" You ponder the question further. "Maybe check the ones in the office area." You point to a door that you recall from childhood that leads to the "boring" part of Freddy's. You ended up there by accident and swore you heard screaming, so you never went back.

Mike disappears in pursuit of a restroom, leaving you by yourself on the large, open party floor. You light another joint and stare quizzically at the robots. You become lost in thought thinking about how lonely it must be here, after all this time.

"You've been waiting for an audience, haven't you?" You tilt your head. Mike's taking longer than you anticipated, so you grab the other headphone and place it in your vacant ear. The volume is loud enough for you to imagine the animatronic band playing it. For a moment, everything around you melts away. You close your eyes, reliving a carefree time in your youth.

"Y/N!!!" Mike barrels down the hall. He's sprinting around every corner, tripping and stumbling the whole way in fear and adrenaline. "GET OUT!! GET OUTSIDE!!" He screams, but you can't hear him. You can't hear a thing. Just as he's about to make physical contact with you, he's yanked backward. The large, yellow rabbit that used to freak you out drags Mike behind the kitchen doors before bludgeoning him over the head, knocking him unconscious.

"I thought you couldn't do nights, Micheal?" The rabbit man binds Mike's wrists together and drags him through the same doors as before. He securely fastens his restraints to a support beam and stands. Already a tall man, he towers in the suit. William Afton.

William slowly turns his head, looking right at you. You sit with your back to him, on the far side of the room, closest to the stage. He takes two steps before you glance behind you, wondering where your friend is. Your breath hitches in your chest when you're met with a giant bowtied rabbit. You glance behind him to see Mike's motionless body on the floor. Time's moving too fast to tell if he's alive or not, and you scream again before taking off toward the door.

The rabbit man gestures to the stage and begins to slowly stalk toward you.

"Stay the fuck away from me! What did you do to Mike?"

"I'll do a lot worse if you don't stop fucking screaming!" William's voice is robotic and warped through the automated helmet of the suit. He's inhuman to you. Your mind can't wrap your head around the fact that anyone is in the suit, let alone William Afton himself. You try to silence your wails, but you can't do anything to stop the terrified sobs. All you can do is think about Mike.

"I-Is he dead?" You whimper, in a state of shock.

"Not yet," is all the rabbit says before he advances on you, grabbing you with unnatural strength. Your arms are pinned by your sides and he lifts you off the ground with ease. Kicking and fighting does nothing but bruise you up, but you try regardless. You manage to free one arm, and in your hysteria, you knock the mascot's helmet off his head. The helmet falls with a heavy thud, but it's as if it's muted in the background as you stare at William. He stares back, unfazed by his revealed identity. It almost looks like he's smiling.

"W-W-W-"

"William," he growls before placing his steel-covered hands around your throat while you were too distracted to notice he'd sat you back down. You claw at the lifeless metal and cloth, but slowly, your vision becomes blurry, and then... Nothing.

Mike wakes before you. He recovers quickly as he realizes where he is. He searches for you frantically, but you're nowhere to be found.

"Y/N!" Mike screams, but there's no reply. He's alone in silence for a few minutes before the unmasked rabbit man appears carrying your wilted body. Mike begins to panic. "What did you do to her?!"

"Calm down, Micheal. She's just tired. She's gonna need her energy." William grins, sending a wave of nausea through Mike's stomach. "You should feel lucky, you get to watch." He steps out of the robotic suit revealing clothes similar to the ones he wore when he first met Mike, not long ago.

"Watch what?" Mike raises a brow. William doesn't reply, he just starts cutting the clothes off of your body. "What are you doing?! Don't fucking touch her!"

William laughs at him, licking the entire length of his middle finger and sliding it inside you while he stares at Mike. He continues to play with you, rendering Mike into a livid mess. William shakes his head, amused, continuing with whatever dark plan he's already hatched for the evening.

You have no idea how much time has passed, but eventually, you wake up. You groan as you try to sit up, only to find that you're bound to a tabletop in an X formation with your legs hanging off the side where your knees bend. There's a raggedy drape of cloth over your body and the dry, musty smell is enough to make you sick. You scan the room in a quiet panic, unable to move and truly study your surroundings. Quickly you spot Mike. His left eye is swollen and will surely be blacked by the time you get out of here... If you get out of here.

"Mike!" You try to yell, but it comes out as a strained wheeze after the damage William did to your throat. Mike locks eyes with you and that's when you notice how scared he looks, but not for himself. You furrow your brow and look in the other direction. There stands William. He's out of the suit now, standing over you with a devilish grin.

"Breaking and entering isn't a good look for either of you," William chuckles. "But especially you, sweetheart." William places a soft hand on your cheek. You recoil in fear.

"Don't fucking touch her!" Mike thrashes in his restraints. It's clear to you that Mike knows what's about to happen before you do.

"Please, we're sorry. We won't say anything to anyone, just let us-"

"Don't be cliche. You knew what you were doing and you did it anyway. This is someone's stuff, you know? Someone's livelihood."

"I'm sorry," you sob.

"You're gonna be," William hits the joint he commandeered from you, and after a long drag, he flicks it to the side and begins to unfasten his belt.

"No! No, no!" You plead, arching and bucking your hips in hopes of loosening the cables that secure you to the tabletop. Mike causes his wrists to bleed, but he still can't get free. William strokes his erection as he watches your helpless body writhe under the sheet. You accept your fate, horrified and humiliated, you look away, facing the stage. You quickly notice it's empty and your heart begins to race.

"They won't be joining us. This is for my- our eyes only." William releases a deep, taunting laugh and starts pumping his middle finger in and out of you again.

"M-Mike..." You try to ask for help, unsure of what he could do for you at this point, but desperate to be free. He won't even look at you now. He's slouched over, looking at the floor, trying to drown out the sensual wet sounds coming from William's fingers scissoring inside you.

"He doesn't want to save you, sweetheart. He wants to see you get fucked against your will." With his last word, he heaves the entire table closer to him, giving Mike a front-row seat to the show. Panic consumes you. Before you have the chance to beg for mercy again, William tears the unkempt sheet from your body, leaving you entirely exposed.

"No! Wait, please!" Your fight or flight response kicks in, but you're helpless to do either. The cables strain against the table, but you're unable to move an inch. You look back at Mike. He meets your gaze and the two of you share a knowing look before you feel William slide the head of his cock up and down your clit, soaking it in the arousal your body had no choice but to pool between your legs after the ways he touched you.

"You make it hard to believe you don't want it when you're dripping like this, sweetheart," William taunts. You squeeze your eyes shut, embarrassed and afraid, unable to watch the blood rise in Mike's face as he watches you get defiled. Just as you're sure William is about to slam into you with no mercy, he pulls away. You open your eyes and glance at him in confusion, hoping he's realizing he can just let you both go and that would be the end of it. But that's not the case.

William bends to knees, placing your soaked entrance right at the perfect height for him to consume you.

"Let's see how difficult I can make this for you." William buries his tongue in your wet folds, flicking the muscle delicately over your violated clit. You try as hard as you can to fight back any kind of reaction, but you fail. A soft, breathy moan slips from your lips like a note from a music box. William laughs against your sensitive skin.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry." Mike hangs his head in defeat, listening to the sounds of you succumbing to William's sensual touch.

"What are you sorry for? She loves it," William smirks before curling a finger inside you, eliciting another explicit moan from you. He regains his standing position and replaces the head of his erection at your pulsating entrance, waiting. "I've needed this. You have no idea how stressful it is to keep a place like this under wraps."

All you can think about is how stress got you here. All you wanted was a smoke session with your best friend in a cool venue, and now, here you are. You're jarred from your thoughts when William's massive erection drives into you. It's abrupt and painful, but your body gushes with arousal to make up for the stinging, pleasurable friction.

"No!" You scream. Mike fights against his restraints one more time, thrashing and sliding his body in any direction he can, but he's stuck. William throws his head back in ecstasy as he plows into you. He's fucking you like he's eating his last meal. Breathless grunts of focused pleasure fall from his chest. His rough, calculated hands find your breasts, toying delicately with your nipples.

You close your eyes and try so hard to escape the reality of the situation, but William lands a hard, heavy smack across your face, shaking you back into the moment. With a stern hand, he grabs your face and forces you to look at Mike. He's red-faced, enraged, and tired. You can't decide if you want him to look at you or not.

Mike mouths an "I'm sorry" to you, but all you can do is stare at him while William picks up his pace. Your vision is unsteady as he jostles you around.

"You've gone quiet. I think I need to fix that." He draws his hips back and in a split second, your eyes widen in fear before he slams into you at full force. A loud, moaning wail emits from you and the humiliation finally tears your gaze away from your best friend. "There she is," William smirks, steadying his thrusts yet again.

"Please... Stop..." You moan between gasps. Your orgasm is building at break-neck speed. The last thing you want is to climax around William's invasive erection, but it seems as if you have no other choice. The hitching breaths in your chest become loud, sultry moans. Your mind is too frazzled to focus on withholding any signs of enjoying him. Tears stream down your face, but you admit to yourself that you don't want him to stop.

Mike looks away for a moment, but can't help but stare at you. Your eyes flutter shut and your back arches so intensely. He watches the 'O' shape your mouth takes and imagines those same lips wrapped around him. He has to shift uncomfortably, hoping to conceal his already obvious bulge. After you've ridden out your high on William's cock, he slowly slips out of you. Taunting you.

William knowingly reaches under the table and unfastens whatever link was holding each of your extremities. Your hands instinctively find your most delicate, used areas.

"Don't touch yourself unless I say so," he snaps, taking your wrist in one of his strong, demanding hands. His riddance of contact allows your mind to clear from the climax and you're suddenly afraid again. A notorious serial killer is making you his toy.

"Let her go, you've had your..." Mike searches for the words, but he's unsure how to describe the vulgar scene before him. "Just let her go, man." He looks exhausted.

"Don't talk yourself out of a good thing, Micheal," William chuckles before shoving you to the ground in front of Mike. You land with a thud, releasing an involuntary whine of pain when you hit the hard surface. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"No! I-" Mike attempts to protest, but William cuts him off.

"Oh, please. You're not fucking her. Probably never will. Now you get to get off on the idea that it's being taken from her."

"You're a fucking monster!" Mike thrashes against his binds, protectively snapping at William like a guard dog.

"You want me to let her go?" William squats beside the two of you. You lie fucked-out and terrified, curling up next to Mike for some sort of dignity. William grabs your hair and sharply yanks you toward him. You release a high-pitched squeal and allow him to guide your head to Mike's pants zipper.

"What are you doing?" Mike shuffles uncomfortably.

"Don't make me wait," Afton snaps at you and you quickly reach a shaking hand for Mike's pants button.

"What are you doing?! Stop, let her go!" He tries to shake your hands away, noticing the waves of tears falling down your face as you already piece together what William might make you do.

"Mike, I-" you're cut off by William shoving your face into Mike's newly exposed crotch. He diligently bobs your head for you, fist still wrapped in your hair. The second you make contact with Mike's cock, he releases a deep, sensual sigh. Small moans fall out of him left and right, nothing he can do to stop them.

"Tell her to stop, Mike." William waits, but Mike is silent. You squeeze your eyes shut as more tears well up. "Tell her to stop, and I'll let you both leave right now." Silence.

"Mike?" You beg, relieving yourself from the forced fellatio. Mike doesn't look at you, he can't. William smirks and shoves your face back to work. He makes good use of your throat as you take Mike as deep as his shaft can possibly go, ignoring any protest from you.

Mike begins to pant heavily. Little whimpers escape his mouth as his orgasm builds.

"F-Fuck," he huffs before finishing down your throat. When William finally pulls you away, you're a choking, sobbing mess. Betrayal doesn't properly describe what you're feeling right now.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry, I- I don't-" Mike fumbled over his words, red-faced and breathless.

"Shut up, now. You had your turn." William lifts you from the ground with ease and throws you against the same table as before. This time, you're bent over it, presenting your ass to him like a trophy to be won. To be taken.

"Please let me go home. I want to go home..." You sob with your face pressed to the large party table. Mike's eyebrows upturn as he watches you cry. Guilt consumes him, and the helplessness of your cries only amplifies that. He's not sure why he didn't tell you to stop, he knew it was the right thing to do. But he was so enveloped in the feeling of your lips bobbing up and down his erection, how could he ever ask for it to end?

"Shhh, you're doing fine, sweetheart." Afton coos in your ear as he leans over you. He's so tall, it's nothing to him. He plays with your pussy for a moment, slipping a long, nimble finger inside you. His eyes roll back in his head as he tests how tight you are in this position. "Perfect."

William slips inside you, fucking you as if he didn't just screw you senseless not long ago. His large, calloused hand comes down hard on your right ass cheek, and a loud slap echoes through the empty restaurant. You release a cry of pain every time he lands a blow, and he does it a lot. You're fucked out, beaten, bruised, abused- everything.

"Plea-" you beg, but another HARD smack to the ass shuts you up.

"Shut up! I'm so... Fucking..." William slams into you one final time before you feel his cock twitching inside you, filling you up. "Close..."

"No!" You try to kick and fight and do anything in your power to stop him from cumming inside you, but it's entirely too late. You sob loudly as Mike watches in horror. William removes himself from you and his handiwork spills from your swollen entrance. Your weak knees wobble under your weight.

Afton looks at Mike and grins deviously before flipping you over and clasping his powerful hands around your neck. The sound of Mike pleading for your life becomes a dull mumble in the background as you slowly lose consciousness. Once you're out, William readjusts his rolled-up sleeves and lands a hard, knock-out punch on the side of Mike's skull.

He dumps you both in the back alley, unsure if you're both alive or dead. He doesn't care, he just doesn't need you here anymore.

Mike wakes up first, placing a gentle hand on his face and wincing at the pain.

"Y/N? Y/N!" He scrambles over to you and takes you in his lap. You're still naked and you're covered in bruises and scrapes, a testament to how hard you fought and how strong William is. "Please wake up. Please wake up, dude. This isn't funny."

You don't move.

"Please wake up! Wake up, Y/N! Wake up!" He repeats over and over, shaking you and lightly tapping your face with his open hand. Finally, you suck in a big breath. The sound of you inhaling causes Mike to jump, but he quickly pulls you into his embrace, relieved to see you alive.

"Mike..." You groan. He quickly sheds his jacket and wraps it around your crumpled form, hoping to give you some sort of cover. The two of you get into Mike's car and head back to your house. The ride back is mostly silent until he finally speaks.

"Y/N, I- back there, I..." He doesn't know what to say.

"I don't think he would've let us go anyway." You stare out the window in a state of shock, secretly reliving the way William made you feel.

"No- that's not the point. I mean-" Mike struggled with his words yet again.

"Do you think he let us live for a reason?" You finally glance at Mike. It's the first time you've looked at him since he filled your throat with an entire friendship's worth of pent-up feelings.

"I don't know, but it doesn't matter. We're never going back there, I promise." He's attempting to comfort you, but something depraved and demented inside you is already thinking about what he'd do if he got his hands on you again.

#tw non con #tw dark fic #non con #fnaf dark fic #steve raglan smut #steve raglan #william afton #dead dove do not eat #dub con #william afton smut #fnaf movie #fnaf smut #steve raglan non con #william afton non con #steve raglan x reader #matthew lillard smut #five nights at freddy's

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