#sex averse ace

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

Happy International Ace Day! We uploaded part 2 of our Sex Averse and Repulsed Ace Experiences to our website. Some quotes from the article are featured in the images above, and you can read the full thing here: https://taaap.org/2023/04/06/sex-repulsed-and-averse-aces-part-ii/

Not all aces are sex averse or repulsed, and you can read about ace experiences with sex and/or kink here: https://taaap.org/2021/10/28/ace-week-21-aces-sex-kink/

We hope International Ace Day ‘23 has treated you all well!

[ID: Both infographics have the title “Sex Averse and Repulsed Aces Part 2″ and feature black text on a light lilac background. There are 2 quotes on each. The first reads “Oftentimes, I feel that we as an ace community are hyperfocused on trying to appease the outside allonormative world to the extent that we alienate sex-repulsed & sex-averse people like me.” -- Tyger Songbird. “I think every allo person can think of someone they can’t possibly imagine being sexually attracted to, ever, and just having to imagine being near their naked body makes them want to run away. I want them to know that that’s how we sex-averse people feel about *everyone*. It’s not an opinion nor a political stance, nor something we can toggle on and off.”-- Vivi.

The 2nd reads “I want nothing to do with it. I wish I could go about my life without constantly being reminded of it by peers and by society at large... I understand it's a biological need for most people and indeed most living things that reproduce sexually, but it's not so essential or inherent that an individual is less than for not associating with it whatsoever, whether for reproduction or recreation.” -- Daniel. “In general, my gut reaction to sex is to be disgusted. I have to mentally steel myself for sexual content before I can enjoy a sex joke, read fiction with sexual content, etc. or I will automatically recoil.” -- Amaranthe Rae. End ID.]

#international asexuality day #international ace day #ace day #asexual #image described #ace #sex averse ace #sex repulsed #gray ace

[heyftinally]

Okay, more thoughts from reading Loveless and being starkly reminded of my own life.

My dear fellow asexuals,

It's okay if your relationship to sex fluctuates.

It can be scary as fuck if you aren't expecting it, though.

For the longest time, I thought I was sex averse. Big no, not interested, never gonna happen. That was my truth for years.

Until it wasn't.

I was still asexual. I wasn't thinking about it or wanting it, say, in the middle of class when thinking about the person I was with. But I also wasn't opposed to it if they were in the mood when we were alone.

And that was a lot for me to come to terms with, especially while being in my first visibly queer relationship, and with that relationship being allo/ace with my allo partner really not understanding my aceness, *and* a whole list of other factors.

To put it bluntly, shit's scary.

So if you're ace and ever find yourself in a similar position where your feelings towards/relationship with sex changes dramatically (either way), whether now or in the future, I want you to remember some things I wish I'd Han an elder ace to tell me:

It's okay.

This doesn't mean you're suddenly not ace, or you were faking being ace before, or that you were faking how you felt about sex before, nor does it mean you're faking now.

This doesn't inherently mean you're changing yourself for your partner. Just because they may have been a catalyst doesn't automatically mean you're just pretending how you feel to make them happy (if that is what's happening, though, dump them and find someone who doesn't pressure you to change your relationship to sex to make them more comfortable - that's gross and you deserve better).

You're still ace, if that label still feels like home.

You're still valid in your sexuality.

It's okay if this is temporary, and it's okay if it's not.

You're allowed to feel however you feel about it: confused, scared, angry, sad, excited, overjoyed, and any combination of these or anything else.

If you have someone you can talk to it about and feel comfortable doing so, reach out. Lean on your support system.

It's okay to need to take a step back and sit with yourself and just come to terms with your new truth.

It's okay if it feels heavy, and it's okay if it doesn't.

Our community still loves and accepts you.

🖤 🩶 🤍 💜

#asexual #asexuality #sex favorable asexual #sex favorable #sex neutral #sex neutral asexual #sex averse #sex averse asexual #sex favorable ace #sex neutral ace #sex averse ace #loveless #alice oseman #alice oseman loveless #loveless alice oseman #osemanverse #asexual community #ace community

[purple-mothman-majesty]

#help #I've heard other aces talk about this but I didn't think it would happen to me #I've also heard trans people talk about that happening after taking T #it has helped me realize that I like women so #there's that #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq #queer #asexual #ace #asexuality #lgbt #sex averse #libido ace #asexual libido #sex averse ace #my shenanigans

[arofulboyfriend]

for the millionth time, sex repulsion (aversion) is the PERSONAL feeling of ick when discussing, seeing, or thinking about sex

sex negativity is shaming OTHER people for their sex lives, kinks, and/or sexual history

stop saying sex repulsion/aversion when you mean sex negative and stop saying sex negative when you mean repulsion/aversion! thanks!!

#asexual #actually asexual #acespec #sex repulsed #sex repulsion #sex averse #sex aversion #actually ace #sex negativity #seren yaps #saw a blog that was like “sex repulsed people can interact but ur on thin fucking ice” like hello??? #sex averse/repulsed ppl wouldnt interact with ur blog anyway weirdo

[gray-ace-space]

you know what? this is for dark gray aces. this is for gray aces who have only felt sexual attraction a couple times in their entire life. for gray aces who have no desire to act on their attraction. sex repulsed gray aces. gray aces who don't have sex and don't intend to, who want nothing to do with it. you guys are valid and awesome and i don't say that enough.

#og post #positivity #gray ace #dark gray ace #sex repulsed #sex averse #ace #acespec #lgbtq+ #lgbtq #lgbt+ #gray asexual #graysexual #dark gray asexual #dark graysexual #asexual #ace positivity #asexual positivity

[redysetdare]

Even if an asexual does find sex to be gross that still doesn't give you the right to infantalize them.

#text #ace #asexual #aroace #sex repulsed #sex averse #i keep seeing ppl say that they shouldnt be infantalized for being ace because they dont find sex gross #but also its important to note even if you did find sex gross #that is not a reason to infantalize someone #its not childish or innocent to be repulsed by sex... #me being repulsed doesnt mean im a child

[pastadrawstma]

Ace day!!! For @jonmartinweek

Day 69 of posting magpod art daily

#im ace and i like all flavours of ace jon i just wanted to draw sex averse ace jon today #hes just a guy fr #jonmartinweek 2024 #art #my art #ship art #jmart #jonmartin #jon tma #jonathan sims #jonathan sims tma #martin blackwood #martin tma #martin blackwood tma #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #the magnus archives fanart #jon sims #digital art #pasta scribbles #artists on tumblr #illustrators on tumblr #tma #tma fanart #tma podcast #jmartweek24aceday #ITS SO FUNNY TO ME THAT THE 69TH DAY IS ALSO THE ACE POST YOU HAVE NO IDEA

[lovelessrage]

Pro-kink advocacy goes hand in hand with aspec advocacy and if you don't understand this you need to start.

#note: yes this includes advocacy for the sex repulsed and averse! the point is that both communities are villified for living outside norms #both communities are actively hated for not conforming to what society deems the natural way of things #the freedom to be proudly kinky comes with the freedom to proudly not participate #it's about a collective shared goal for relationship freedom and personal choice #if you're pro aspec but anti kink you're not getting it. same if you're pro kink but anti aspec. #we have so much in common. i've never felt more accepted than when i've been around kink positive people #we're valuable allies for each other #we're all freaks to normative society. linking up pulls all of us forward #aromantic #asexual #aplatonic #atertiary #aro #ace #apl #arospec #acespec #aplspec #aspec #scowl corner #you don't have to live the lifestyle of someone else to want to see each other succeed.

[convolutedblasphemy]

I dreamt that there was a big online quiz that helped people figure out where they fall on the ace spectrum, what microlabels might apply to them and whether they're favorable / repulsed / indifferent etc. One of the questions was this:

and I think it was hilarious because yeah depending on where you fall it's usually one or two of these. Oh, you feel uncomfortable watching sex scenes in movies? Straight up puritan, danger to a progressive society 💀

#sex repulsed #sex favorable #sex averse #asexual #ace #aroace #asexuality

[aroaceconfessions]

One thing about asexuality, specifically aces who don't have or aren't particularly interested in sex, is how they're rejected by both puritan/sex negative culture and mainstream sex positive culture simultaneously.

Like with puritans it's basically "Don't have sex" "Okay, bet" "No, not like that"

And with sex positive* it's "Everyone should have as much sex as they want" "Cool, we want zero" "No, not like that"

Not wanting sex is like the secret third option neither group is willing to accept into their world view. Because at the end of the day neither group is really about sex itself. It's about shame, either the enforcement of or the liberation from. It's interesting to see how both groups have a failure to reconcile those who don't participate in or interact with that shame.

(*Obviously not all sex-positive allos are like this but the percentage who care way too much about whether or not other people are having sex is still extremely high)

Submitted May 11, 2023

#asexual #ace #aspec #acespec #sex averse #sex indifferent #allonormativity

[celepom]

Sex Repulsion often leads to people limiting their exposure to sexual situations for their own well being. It's a personal responsibility.

But just like allergies if someone is informed of this situation and chooses to expose them to it as a "test" or a "joke" or because they don't believe it's that serious - they're a butthole.

On the flip-side, it's everywhere. Not everyone is negatively affected, lots of people quite enjoy it, and the world doesn't revolve around you. That's where the personal responsibility really comes in. Advocate for yourself, but don't force others to be like you when they are fundamentally different.

Read on: TAPAS | WEBTOON | TUMBLR

#My Art #Aces Wild #Asexual #Asexuality #Sex Repulsion #Sex Aversion #comic

[shinekittenace]

friendly but emphatic reminder that labels are flexible and asexuality is a spectrum

#ace #acespec #queer #gray ace #grey ace #sex favorable ace #sex favorable #sex indifferent #sex averse #sex repulsed #sex ambivalent #demisexual

[scretladyspider]

saying that the aces who are sex favorable/neutral/have sex are treated like the only “valid” aces is just

wow

…no

I have thoughts and experiences and thoughts based on those experiences

here I go

sex repulsed and averse aces treat sex favorable/neutral aces like we’re just trying to appeal to allosexuals, like talking about our experiences is inherently harmful, like our very existence is harmful because they get told that somethings wrong with them and as a result become very defensive of their aceness — but instead of taking that anger at being constantly dismissed out on dismantling allonormativity and compulsory heterosexuality, the framework and expectations that harm them… they say that if you say “hey I’m an ace and I have sex, we all have different relationships with having sex, some of us don’t, some of us do”, that we’re saying that we’re the better aces and are going out of our way to appeal to allosexuals at the cost of how our sexuality intertwines with our personhood, that we’re trying to appeal to allosexuals, and it might make allosexuals think maybe they can have sex with any ace actually, even tho we never told them that and specified it was just our experience (because we all know all allosexuals are mindless sex machines who only think about sex and are never capable of respecting boundaries or asexuality, no sexless relationship between an allo and an ace could or has ever healthily existed) (that in parentheses was sarcasm)

allosexuals treat sex favorable/neutral aces like we’re not really ace, like by having, or god forbid, enjoying sex, we are invalidating our sexuality, like asexuality and celibacy are the same thing and therefore we’re not really ace, and any acceptance comes at the price of respect and understanding of who we actually are, and (often) don’t accept us for who we are because “you’re not like those other people”, so to be acceptable means again paying the price of constant insults, invalidation, and depending on the situation, much worse stuff actually

so we’re left in this weird place where we know personally it’s important to talk about it because we didn’t know what was wrong with us for so long but then when we do, our own community acts like saying “I exist too” out loud is purposely harmful to them, like we’re trying to hurt them, like it’s personal and vindictive and not just “I also exist, just differently from how you exist”

we go to allosexuals and say “hey I exist” and are met with “no you don’t” “not really” “oh, you just want to invade the queer community” “you wanna be oppressed” “you need to stop taking antidepressants” “you’re just a woman/feminine” etc etc, and depending on who/where we come out it may not be safe, and may even be traumatizing if it goes badly, a risk that is always taken when coming out, but surely our sex favorability is just to try to appeal to allos, that couldn’t be who we are

but if allosexuals who are acephobic start to loudly say “oh asexuals just want the right to not have sex, that’s not a sexuality”, THEN all of the sudden it’s “that’s not what asexuality is, some aces have sex!” and the same it’s sex repulsed/averse aces saying it when the community is being put down, all of the sudden we’re important and our stories matter and our perspectives matter and help challenge misconceptions about asexuality

which is it?

Why are we only allowed to say we exist when asexuality as a whole is being put down?

why is the rest of the time if we say “hey some aces have sex, we exist too” harming you, but then when acephobes take a swing at all of us, we’re suddenly important and it’s good to acknowledge the spectrum of asexuality and then it’s okay to say there’s a spectrum of sexual attraction and of sex favorability

why are you mad at us, not the structures and people and sex Ed and purity culture that says none of us are allowed to exist?

if we can’t fit in with other aces and are only valid in the eyes of sex repulsed/averse aces when we can be used to prove a point, and we can’t fit in with allos because we’re invalidated and treated like we don’t exist while still having an ace experience

where the fuck are we supposed to go?

you’re mad at the wrong thing; you’re mad at the wrong people

aces who have sex, aces who like sex, aces who rarely/conditionally experience sexual attraction, are not out to hurt you by saying “I do also exist”

we are here with you trying to find a place to fit in

I’d like to think you’d understand that but it seems like there’s a part of the sex repulsed/averse ace community determined to lock the door on a part of your own community

and I dunno

it just puts a bad taste in my mouth

#lgbtqia #queer #asexual #asexuality #sex favorable #sex neutral #sex averse #sex repulsed #text post #long post #asexual spectrum #ace discourse #acespec

[princsstwilightsparkl]

saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!

#sorry just have to say this lol #so tired of people generalizing all aroace people as romance averse #its absolutely erasure of the rest of the spectrum #the top tweet isnt so bad depending on who theyre talking about #if a character ACTUALLY is canonically romance/sex aversed then yea its weird to erase that #but if they're canonically AROACE and you go 'erm that character cannot date or have sex🤓☝️' ur being aphobic as fuck #the 'shown no attraction to anyone' part kind of throws me off there #i hate when people say 'well this character didnt have feelings for anyone in the one year time span of the show so theyre romance aversed- #and nobody can ship them or else i'll harass u and subtweet u!1!!' #like. a characters life may not involve sex or romance at all fucking times. that does not make them aroace. #ur headcanon- even if you think its based on a logical conclusion- is not reality #sometimes yall just be making shit tf up #complaining about 'fanon' as if ur not the one pretending ur hc is real and treating everyone else like theyre the bad ones #but if that tweet is just saying that IN ADDITION to theyre canon identity then yea. thats valid. #their* </3 #obviously the reply is fucking disgusting #i couldnt reply directly cuz my twitter is priv #people will say this kind of shit to ME- AN AROACE PERSON #u preach about aro/ace erasure but when an actual aroace walks in you tell them their way of being aroace is wrong #not everyone is the fucking same. #non-partnering aroaces deserve more rep but telling partnering aroaces that their way of being aroace is wrong is genuinely horrific #like actually fuck u #aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #meowing (yapping)

[vampire-meta-knight]

Aphobes: asExUAls aRe juST a BuNch oF vIrgINs

Sex-repulsed and sex-averse aces:

Sex-favorable aces:

#asexual memes #asexual #sex repulsion #sex averse #sex favorable #lgbt memes #queer #lgbtqia #lgbtq memes #ace positivity #ace #we support all kinds of asexuals here sir #mine #my meme

[sonwabile-reads]

Being (aro)ace, for me, is aggressively saying the most vile sexual things about a character and actively dodging anyone that tries to flirt with me because ew, don't do that

#I am sex repulsed #But I will aggressively say “sit on my face” as if that's something I'd ever want to happen #the most vile and heinous things coming out the mouth of a person that doesn't even want to be touched #coz I'm sex repulsed AND touched aversed 🙃 #aroace #aromantic #asexuality #asexual #ace #aro #ace pride #arospec #living my best life though #“xyz can obliterate my uterus” I say as I smack a man for trying to touch me