#so im giving it to him

[amorhedera6]

((this turned out longer and more in depth then i meant for it to go, tw for abusive families, suicidal ideation, mentions of death, grief, and dismembering of a body))

headcannon that steph and max were best friends as kids. his dads an important man, one that solomon wanted on his side. so he pushed steph to spend time with his son. max was a super happy kid, very exciteable, loved musicals. they were on their own a lot, since neither of their parents really gave a shit, so they’d spend a lot of time at starlight theatre, watching all the different shows and things going on. max would tell her about how shitty his dad was and she’d do the same in return.

when they got to the 7th grade, steph got really depressed and pushed max and everyone else away. and max was little, they both didn’t really know what was going on. after that, they weren’t ever really close like that again. she got on the middle school football team and was deemed a prodigy, got popular, started getting all these friends that would do whatever he said. things with his dad got worse, and without steph to help him he started bullying to corral his emotions. steph knew what he was doing, but also knew it wasn’t serious. he pushed a few people around a little, that’s all. she didn’t think she had to be worried about her friend and now that he was super popular, she needed other people to spend her time with.

she also became cool, just because he said hi to her in the hallways, so she found herself in with his group. but she never truly felt she fit in, skirting along the edges. in high school, her friends all joined the cheer squad as she joined the smoke club and stop giving a shit about school. she never made sense in the “popular kid” crowd, but she assumed they kept her around bc she was the mayor’s daughter and pushing her out wouldn’t fly. it was actually max, making sure she got an invite to every party.

steph sort of floats through high school disassociatedly, in the my-home-life-is-terrible-and-isn’t-gonna-get-better-until-college-so-i-don’t-give-a-shit way, so she doesn’t see the escalation of max knowing no one will stop him doing anything, getting a total god complex, and ruling the school with violence, until pete. she’s probably the only person in hatchetfield high that doesn’t know, but it surprised her so much. bc max? the boy who would geek out over tech production of the musicals? the kid who let her be the captain when they were pirates bc he thought it was more fun to be the first mate? who’d stay up late with her when she had a bad day to read the books their moms were had promised to read to them? that boy is this horrible bully, and she didn’t even know it? it just doesn’t make sense.

she says she’ll go to the principal bc that’s the first instinct one has about this shit, but people started doing that in 8th grade, and all that happens is max has to go to an anti bullying thing every few months. she wants to talk him down, figure out what made him go this far, but she already knows it’s his dad. he wants to be the big impressive football star that his dad wants him to be, so maybe he’ll actually give a shit. he wants his dad to notice and tell him to stop, because then it would mean he was paying attention to what he did. daddy issues recognize daddy issues, and steph sees it in max, even if she did have prior knowledge. she goes along with grace’s plan bc she thinks it’ll be a good ego check to bring him down, but then. then.

she goes home and cries herself to sleep, feeling responsible for the death of her first real friend. she gets sick for weeks with flashes of her dismembering his body with the others, and while every one else’s seems to think the school’s getting better, all stephanie can think is “did no one else fucking care about him? even a little?” all his friends, the football guys, even her friends on the cheer squad, seem to not care about max’s disappearance as much as they care about his missing spot on the field. she starts to skip more until she decides to hang out with pete instead. he must be guilty too, be haunted by these images, but then he says “everything is objectively better.”

which she gets. people are free from his torment, they can do what they want, talk to who they want, etc. the hallways are brighter, people are happier, whatever. but max was still a person. steph wonders if the plan had gone right, maybe he would’ve come back down from his god complex and been more like she remembered him. if he would’ve done the spring musical like he’d always wanted to do but never felt like he could. if he would’ve hated her for it forever. she’d rather he hate her forever than her have helped kill him.

when they have to start talking about what happened, she tries to call him jägerman, tries to disconnect her friend from what happened, because he truly was drastically different, but it was hard. after richie and ruth, shut goes crazy and max is back, but he’s not really max. she feels like the worst friend in the world when she think “he looks like his dad”

because mr jägerman has always been a being full of rage and anger, not one to hide in his own home. she’d seen him scream and yell at max for being a regular little kid, not special at all. not the perfect son he wanted. max, this weird spector of max, is all rage, no heart. even when max was at his worst, he had some heart. he kept her in the “cool group” even though she made no sense there, let grace go unbullied bc he had a crush on her. this wasn’t max. this was a personification of his dying moments, the only thing the waylon place did was preserve, and maybe further his anger.

she wants to beg pete to kill her the way he begs her to kill him. she started all this, even if she denied it at beanies, it’s true, and she is probably the only one who could have helped max stay a regular guy instead of the egomaniac ruler of the school he became. but she can’t get the words off her tongue. so long she’s been thinking about how easier everyone’s lives would be if she just killed herself, and now she can’t even do this. he gets on his knees in the football field, she raises the gun from twenty yards away, and thinks about how many people this thing that isn’t really max has killed.

she forces herself to pull the trigger.

max stops the bullet.

grace fucks the ghost, and all is well. except she’s met gods who seem like they want to eat her, and now her father’s dead too. he was an asshole, he never really cared about her, but she sobs for hours n the big empty house on pinebrook, and wishes desperately that she had made pete do it.

she and pete check on each other, because he also lost two people important to him, and they hold each other up. get each other through it. help each other mourn. she meets his older brother, he helps her clean out her father’s office. they go to funerals together and hold hands, and don’t talk about it.

it takes her a little while to realize his homecoming offer is still up, since things are technically different now. she buys a dress and tells him only the color, and he wears a matching bow tie. it’s such a ridiculously peter thing to do, and it makes her laugh for the first time in a while. they laugh together a lot that night, and she helps him breathe through a panic attack in the bathroom when ruth’s favorite song comes on.

she tells him about the images she can’t get out of her head, maxs body in pieces, the blood everywhere, that she burned the clothes she wore that day bc she couldn’t get the smell of blood and bleach out no matter how often she washed it. he tells her that he’s having flashbacks like that too, and that he wishes he could talk to his therapist about it without being sent to jail or a mental hospital.

she talks to detective shapiro and gets her to send a letter to peters therapist that he’s not gonna be arrested so pete can talk his shit out. at least the non-ghost and demon stuff. the dismembering a guy stuff, though, he can talk about.

it gets her thinking about therapy and getting some. she’s 18, she’s got more money than is necessary from her father, and she thinks she’s going crazy. she looks into it and finds one, starts going once a week. he tells steph he things she has adhd, sends her to a psychiatrist who confirms the diagnosis. she gets some drugs to take, and she feels weird about taking them. she’s done drugs, but like the cool ones. she knows not to do drugs you’re unfamiliar with when your alone, and she feels like she’s a lot of that.

homecoming was fun, but she and pete still haven’t out any label in their relationship. they haven’t said i love you, even though everything that went down means the both know it. she wants to be his girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to ask. wants him to ask. she tells her therapist as much, and then complains that she’s paying him bc she’s got daddy issues and trauma, not to hear about her high school drama.

but miraculously, he does ask her to be his gf. and then they’re dating, and it’s great. she spends more time at his apartment with his brother, less time alone in the big empty house just thinking about max and her hand in who he became. he and her therapist together convince her to start taking the meds, and it helps with some of her problems, but not all of them.

she forces herself to keep living, even when she doesn’t want to, because that’s what max (her best friend, the kid who was too scared tontry out for the musical, the asshole, the boy she knew better than herself, the adult she apparently hardly knew, the spector she could only half recognize) would want from her.

#max jagerman deserved a redemption arc #so im giving it to him #post mortem #bc this is cannon compliant im afraid #steph and max were best friends ik it #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #steph lauter #stephanie lauter #max jagerman #peter spankoffski #brief lautski bc i have no control #starkid #hatchetfield #The Rambles

[razzmothazz]

so much (for) stardust is now makotos theme song. tbh

aka the playlist makin is going somewhat well

#pjsk oc #/hj tho #it fits him so nicely... #i have a few more songs that fit him SO perfectly #but this one not only fits but #always hits me right in the heart anyway #so im giving it to him #i love him

[givemetherapyimawritingtravesty]

Sunday Snippet

Thank you to @heartofspells for the tag!

in these last dwindling minutes of sunday I'll tag @elder-millennial-trash @sequinhaze @fragile-glass @lilacrobin @allhalloweve @pretendicanwrite and anyone who sees this (I swear i forget everyone's users when asked to tag people lol)

A bit of an excerpt from the soon to be titled Favor that i am working on...

“I’m not doing your brother a favor, Christ, I’m not even doing YOU a favor. I’m trying to WIN your favor, don’t you see that? I don’t want to rush this and ‘get it over with’, I want YOU. However you’ll have me.”

#tag game #snippet sunday #it's KNOT done yet ;) #james potter #regulus black deserved better #so im giving it to him #regulus black #jegulus #sirius black #heartofspell tag

[arttuff]

brucie wayne is not immune to the sudden urge to hug his son

#dc comics #dc #batman #nightwing #bruce wayne #dick grayson #batfamily #batfam #he brings him to his chest so hard it's gonna give him a concussion #im feeling vulnerable and huggy. my files are all filled with sketches of batman hugging his kids rn #probably wont post any LOL #anyway dont tag with ship plz #animation

[porrigens]

ryuji kisses for kiss ryuji day!

#p5 #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #ryuji sakamoto #sakamoto ryuji #ren amamiya #pegoryu #ryuann #takamaki ann #ann takamaki #ryukita #yusuke kitagawa #futaba sakura #makoto niijima #ryumako #haru okumura #ryuharu #akechi goro #goro akechi #morgana #sophia persona 5 #persona 5 strikers #so many tags omg #actually posting the same day i draw the thing! #havent drawn them in while so sth special.. #strikers is my favorite in p5 so its the strikers designs :] #wanted to draw yoshizawa too but my wrist was killing me… im sorry… #just so you know she was gonna give him a jumbo sized bento for him #kiss ryuji day

[ohposhers]

★POPZONE AU★

AU Idea made by and belongs to @bulliestrolls im just moral support and he never uploaded it so it's my job to upload his AUs for him cause he is on break rn ooo go give him love

So the Popzone AU is pretty much the idea that Brozone decides to do a Reunion tour after the events of Trolls 3 both for nostalgia (before JD fucked shit up) and so Branch actually gets to experience performing with his brothers in concert without it ending in disaster Only issue is due to the mental and physical abuse he endured during his captivity Floyd is too physically fucked and terminally fatigued to perform properly or for extended periods of time SO ★THEY ALL DECIDE TO HAVE POPPY FILL IN FOR HIM AS THE PINK BITCH OF THE GROUP WOOHOO★

I'm not gonna go into detail about the AU cause that's Bully's job when his gay ass comes back from break I just wanted to make some unofficial shitposts and concept art, if you want to know more about the AU go spam Bully with asks and shit ;)) Anyway Poppy getting way too enthusiastic about being a Brozone Bro so she cuts her hair cause i said so

[This AU only works if we all collectively agree that the whole Kismet end scene never happened (Floyd being fine enough to perform, Branch asking Poppy to join the band, etc) its not real you never saw it and neither did i ok]

#i wasnt about to let bully come up with this idea and not share it with the world so if i draw him fanart for his aus he has to #seriously go give him asks and stuff theres a lot of really cute ideas in this au im sure he will make a post about at some point #trolls #trolls band together #poppy trolls #branch trolls #brozone #brozone trolls #Popzone AU #broppy trolls #my art

[thestarofcottonland]

Pocket Dogs for Gameboy Advance

#this was about him giving up on becoming a police dog so actually epic win #im sure you are in fact happier being unemployed in my house. id certainly prefer that life #pocket dogs #gba

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol #i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced #i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy #if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^ #i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes?? #im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up #and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out #rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded #the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities #laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might #still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore #sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld #be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada.... #christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me #like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to #i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man #my art #myart #fanart #laika's comet #laikas comet #laika #mars #yue #furry art #fur #littlest pet shop #lps

[chloesimaginationthings]

your Jeremy seems like the kinda guy that, when he first sees scoop'd Michael, just goes "yooo sick dude!"

YOU GET IT… I’M GLAD y’all get and like Jeremy,,

#ask reply #literally exactly the vibes I’m trying to give him #I’m so happy yall like him seriously #the whole idea of Jeremy being chipper and Michael being gloomy #is such a good dynamic #I WANT TO DRAWW Jeremy sm more after this! #there’s so much to draw.. I just cook #for him.. for Jeremy the beloved 💗 #BTW IM GLAD YALL find him pretty too!! #I was actually surprised by how many comments I got #over how much they wanted to kiss Jeremy BAHA #THE BEST COMPLIMENTS I know I did a good job #more Jeremy soon promise 🩵🩵

[diamondnokouzai]

if magneto knew what the internet was then he would post to r/aita as often as possible and all his posts would be the top posts of the year. thats the kind of drama hes going through. he also gets permabanned from r/mutants for advocating violence

#.din #.txt #marvel #x men #GD I FORGOT HOW OFTEN XAVIER USED HIS GO GO GADGET PTSD ON MAGNETO IN THIS SERIES. JESUS CHRIST. #im scared of getting gwenpool'd into the marvel universe cause thatd be the first thing id think of if i met professor x #and like what if he hadnt used his go go gadget ptsd telepathy yet in that universe? #would i be responsible for teaching him how to give magneto war flashbacks? #would he be offended that i thought about it? might be worse if he wasnt honestly. #that would be my first five questions but my hand would be covering my mouth so hed be reading my mind. #< as in the go go gadget war flashbacks would be my first five questions i mean

[lotus-pear]

yeah sure therapy is nice but teen soukoku is faster and a lot cheaper

#LITERALLY STILL IN SHAMBLES OVER 109 THIS IS HOW IM COPING #thinking abt how much harder teen skk hits bc that's when chuuya started using corruption and they had to learn to trust each other #like with their lives. #not ''hey dazai i'm lending you five bucks so you can get me a coke from the vending machine i trust you'll give me the change'' #although i'm sure that's happened and dazai runs off with the change despite being explicitly told not to bc he's an ass #anyway despite not having mutual understanding or even sympathy for the other person they entrusted their lives to each other #also the fact that chuuya isn't likely human but so desperately wants to be and dazai is the tether to his humanity #likewise how dazai was so traumatized to the point where he couldn't feel human #but meeting chuuya made him think living was worth a shot #the parallels are paralleling #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya nakahara #soukoku #skk #lotus draws

[1alchemistart]

sillies!!

#spy x family #sxf #damian desmond #anya forger #damianya #my art #fun fact the notebook he's holding was my fav kind of notebook when i was in middle school JSDFKL #my 2 reasons for giving it to him are: its the same color as the sxf volume bgs. and. i really liked it so #i bestowed it upon him w great joy #also THE INTERVIEW WENT WELLLLLL IM IN IM IN AND IM HAPPY ABOUT IT #THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE GOOD LUCK WISHES M W A H

[elixyzlio]

When I show up to the biggest Hannigram shipper competition but Mads Mikkelsen is already there:

#hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #mads mikkelsen #so silly #i love this show #thinking about the one clip where Hugh says its a platontic love and Mads gives him a LOOK #feeling silly #i wish gay people were real #im so original #and funny

[teenagenutant]

a bit more weird, wild, and less structurally stable than the 2-turtle fusions, here's bosch (raph+mikey+donnie) and machiavelli (leo+mikey+donnie)!

pure impulsive destructive excitement and 'what if your annoying little sibling was also the world's most acrobatic awful cat'

#fusion mayhem au #fmau #tmnt #rottmnt #my turtle art #bosch has been 90% done for a very long time so i wanted to give him a friend and finally post them :) their designs arent set in stone but #machiavelli is very very lovingly inspired by softbrainedrinks sofonisba design that im not sure is posted any where anymore.. #velli in another world could be a villain. but its fine. bc they only come together when united in either Annoy Raph or Save Raph #sneak preview for future art: velli first forms at the end of season 2 and bosch fuses in many unhappy returns and in the movie. #think of this as you will

[bread-that-draws]

Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you

#‘Flowey would listen to i bet on losing dogs by Mitski and cry until he throws up and Chara calls him cringe from beyond the grave’ #-me to my friend when I ranted about this last night #he has me so fucked up like oh my god #how is the best character a fucking talking flower #I love undertale’s writing so much like it’s mastered minimal evidence giving away the biggest parts of characters #i can analyze him i can study him under a microscope #i can put him in a terrarium with a sticky note that says gay baby jail you know #he has me SO fucked up #flowey #flowey the flower #asriel #asriel dreemurr #I’m talking about flowey btw not asriel i know they’re the same person but not to me #like how i consider little baby me and fucked up 13 year old me different people #asriel sits on the playground and cries when nobody wants to play warrior cats with him #and flowey sits in the back of classrooms and answers ‘life is MEANINGLESS’ to every question #not speaking from experience ofc (im lying) #love my edgy flower *puts a magnifying glass up to him and notes how fucked up he is* #i think more characters need to be fucked up beyond repair #undertale #utdr #character analysis

[vampireposter]

meeting wyll at the grove, as someone who the tieflings trust enough to train their children, says so much about him. it's so sad that he doesn't get explored in acts 2-3 as deeply as the other companions, when his problems are equally intense. the average player probably long rests once before coming across the grove, but even if not, in that time wyll has already proven to the tieflings that they can rely on the Blade of Frontiers.

this is the immediate first thing he chooses to do after being condemned to slow death via ceremorphosis. his priority list in the first conversations with tav is: 1) hunt down a dangerous devil, 2) help zevlor with the goblins, 3) once nothing threatens the tieflings he will gladly search for a tadpole cure. wyll is perpetually his own last priority, and i wonder if it has to do with the lore about souls.

if he believes mind flayers' souls have been destroyed, and fiend warlocks will all have their souls sent to the hells after death, then becoming a mind flayer isn't the worst possible way for him to die. he would never become a mindless monster to save his own soul, but he's not gripped by horror the way that some of the other origin characters are. lae'zel has been made revoltingly impure to her people, astarion is terrified of losing the scrap of bodily autonomy he just regained, gale is guilt-ridden over the orb detonation if he dies, shadowheart has to survive to prove herself to her cult leader, and karlach has also just regained bodily autonomy and is desparate to live.

this is just another quest for the Blade, whose persona guards wyll ravengard against the vice of self-concern when he ought to be concerned for those in need.

#wyll ravengard #bg3 #writing a wyll pov thing in order to roleplay harder in my durge playthrough & ive become obsessed w him #i love him so much. he doesnt even really get to realize in-game how traumatized he is and in act 3 he has not healed any really #come here wyll we are going to learn about self care. you & durge need to overcome the desire to give up your lives for your fathers ideals #faerun doesnt have LMHCs so wyll gets my durge who currently thinks he is (a miserable failure of) a cleric of ilmater. #this fic is practice for my 'ascended tavastarion struggle to quit being Like That' character study thing wherein i am struggling w dialogu #loving working on both. im in my little dollhouse making my toys try out lines until they fit #vampireposted