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oh-for-fic-sake-library · 1 year

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A Stuffy Called Geb Chapter 1

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Summary: It was your turn to help train Matt , and as usual the kylo fanatic was quick to bring up the magnificent supre leader, who you actuallyheld in high regard yourself. Bonding ensues, but you might have gotten a little too comfortable with Matt and over shared some personal embarrassing details about yourself. But it could be worse? I mean it wasnt like the leader of the first order was going to find out or anything... Right?

Warnings : DDLG, Age play, Anxiety, fluff, homour, swearing, closet little trying to make a friend.

A/N: so i cant get the idea of daddydom!kylo finding a little hidden within his ranks. I love ddlg dynamics and really do think kylo has a soft nurturing side thag in canon he hates. But what if he had an outlet? One single person he could fawn over to get it out of his system so he can be a hard ass on everyone else?

Wordcount: fairly short for me.

You entered the break room, cautiously crossing the space making sure to wav out of everyones way lest you become the butt of another joke. You managed to arrive at your destination; the caf pot. You moved quickly grabbing a fresh cup silently praying there was some actual caf left on the pot, and that it was still warm. Luck had to be on your side as the pot poured hot fresh caf into you cup.

"Oh thank the stars for that" you muttered before moving to place the pot back down. Only to pause when another cup emerged from behinde you. You yelped slightly, not hearing anyone creep up beside you, and nervously turned hoping it wasnt one of the bullies you unfortunately had to work with. But you were pleasantly surprized. Instead of a Jake or his little posse of ass kissers and assholes there stood the tall handsome yet clumsy newbie called Matt.

You flicked your gaze up faltering slightly. You drew a deep breath. Oh yeah you had Matt with you today. Not that you minded, you just werent the most social. But then again years of torment and bullying by your peers would do that to you. You calmed yourself somewhat and craned your head up higher and higher realising once again just how over whelmingly big he was. He was huge, in every aspect. You smiled up at him trying desperately not to screw up a chance to possibly make a freind.

"M-morning Matt. Caf?" You offered whilst busying yourself popping three sugars into your caf and stirring. Matt eyed you carefully before nodding quietly.

"Morning, yes caf please." he answered in his usuall awkward yet slightly demanding tone. But his eyes locked onto you, staring at you intently, a slight quirk to his brow. You smiled anxiously youd worked with Matt only once and that was when youd found him abandoned by karen in the corridor and decided to help him fix the little blunder he'd made on the calcinator.

"So i dont know if youve been told already, but today your with me" you anounced quickly pouring out a cup for him and handed it over trying to ignore anxiety building inside of you. You really didnt want to mess up and have another colleague laughing at you behinde your back. You had to act normal. Just be calm and normal.

"Oh good, i want to avoid Karen" he added following you away from the caf pot to let the others get to it. You flicked your gaze around noticing the others were sending you side eyes and smirking at you. Clearly they were waiting for you to make a fool of yourself as usual.

"We all do. Shes err, difficult. Well we dont have much for today but you sir are a lucky duck~ we are working in the rear star destroyer dock today and the finaliser is finally scheduled to dock there. Isnt that cool? Were gonna see her come in" you babbled nerves getting the better of you. He always made you nervous, he wasnt like he seemed? He had a strange aura. Powerful, stern, authoritative. He felt like a; no. No way. There was no way Matt was one of those. But god he was definitely huge enough to make you feel little. Fuck. That was a dangerous thought, now all your going to imagine is how easily he could man handle you if you were a brat. Shit.

"You like the finaliser?" Matt asked following you out of the break room grabbing your tool bags from the small cubbies by the door. You looked down and shrugged embarrassed by the way he said it. He'd noticed your odd enthusiasm.

"Yeah, sorry i get too excited. Ever since i was a kid I'd wanted to see a star destroyer." You uttered twiddling your fingers in the strap of your bag.

"So do you like star destroyers in general or just the finaliser?" He asked this time in a less abraisive tone. He sounded careful, gentle. Nothing like the matt youd seen before now. You looked at him confused by the change but offered him a small smile.

"All of them i suppose, growing up stories of the old empires fleet and stuff? I could never get my head around them. Their just so huge and stuff; even now i get excited just seeing them" you explained slightly dejected knowing youd made a fool of yourself. But still a little thrown off by his change in demeanour. He seemed to back off? The stern prickly aura tht surrounded him mellowed out. It was nice, like he was reassuring you in some unspoken way.

You couldnt help glancing up at him nervously, trying to figure him out. If anything he didnt seem to mind your small outburst, he just carried on wth the conversation as you both walked the halls towards the elevators like getting over excited was a normal thing in the first order. You flicked your gaze away quickly before he caught you staring. Fuck. He didnt look like he thought less of you for getting all giddy over something so small.

"I understand that. They are awe inspiring, an engineering marvel" Matt's lip quirked ever so slightly when you perked up again beaming up at him bouncing back from your self doubt quickly.

"Exactly! We might even see her dock if we're lucky; did you know its the first time shes coming in to dock since the supremacy? Shes never been on the supernova before" you chirped happily scanning your pass at the faster maintenance elevator.

"Soo you take this rag and slip it over the clamp and just pop it here... no this way, remember righty tighty... your right; thats it. Then that way the pannel cant spring back and catch your fingers" you explained leaning over to hold the spring loaded sliding door back out of matts way so he could place a clamp in front of it.

"Huh... Thats alot easier" he uttered with a grunt as you released the hatch door letting it meet the clamp and stay open without risking any fingers.

"I take it the others didnt show you that trick?" You sighed with a frown as he marveled at the now secure hatch door for a second.

"No, i caught my fingers alot see?" He growled, one eye twitching in irritation before holding his hands up showing you a few nasty bruises and small cuts where these finger death traps had clearly pinched him. You winced hissing through your teeth

"They are all bullies, dont let it get to you. They think their hot shit because they work on the supernova now. But like its not that hard you know? Its a big ship they need tonnes of us here. Personally I'd rather work on her" you reassured him with a light pat on the arm before flicking your eyes to the huge ship that was docked no more then forty feet from you.

You shook your head, shoving the longing from your mind before peeking into the hatch useing your torch to dig around for the problem.

"Ah. Jakes handy work." You uttered spying the issue. A lower voltage cable haphazardly bridging two connectors. Luckily you had some of the correct sized wire spare this was a common issue.

"Hmm? How do you know that?" He asked with a frown not likeing the way you didnt sound surprized by a mistake. Like this was a regular occurrence.

"He always uses this for everything. This sector needs thicker cables for the higher voltages going to the star destroyers. He doesnt like carrying it down here because... well im not sure why to be honest" you explained moving over to show him the problem wire. You ended with a shrug but pulled back from the hatch to dig around in your bag.

"All we have to do it replace this small section and it shouldnt short anymore, lets get to it" You said over your shoulder as you began pulling things out of your bag to get to the replacement wire.

"Now see these wires are already stripped? We just smoosh them together and then twist, it makes the most reliable connection... good job! Now we tape it" you instructed watching Matt work the electrical components and secure it in place. Luckily Matt had picked up alot on the job and had not only disconnected the useless wire, but replaced the connecters either end just to make sure everything worked.

"So why are the others so nasty to you?" He asked out of the blue as he tightened the two screws securing the plastic safety cover on the open wires. You stuttered at him before shaking your head deciding to pretend you didnt know what he was talking about. But he sat up fixing you with a single look making you feel like a kid caught in a lie.

"The others, they avoid you unless they are tormenting you. Why? You seem... competent and pretty harmless, actually nice" he pried again this time not giving you any room to deny or deflect. you sighed defeated, slumping on the spot feeling pretty pathetic.

"You noticed that? Well they are bullies" he frowned at that it was the second time youd called them that. This time he was determined to get to the bottom of it,his eyes grew colder. You shuddered. This man? There really was something about him. Something completely feral yet contained? He just had something dangerous about him. But not in a 'im big and we both know i could crush you' way. It was? Darker, refined, pronounced. Honed.

"But why?" He coaxed again, his voice growing sharper. You got the distinct feeling he wasnt used to asking a second time. And most certainly never had to repeat himself a third time.

You swallowed dryly feeling a tense curiosity grow between you both. He wasnt going to drop this, you might aswell tell him so he can laugh at you and be done with it.

"A few things, as you noticed i tend to get excited quickly, sometimes i say things without thinking? They also know about my past failures... And well they found out about my hobby and i became a joke" you trailed off hoping he'd get the hint from your vague answers and leave the conversation there. But he didnt instead he seemed to perk up his gaze intensified.

"Hobby? Not many people still have hobbies in the first order?"

"I know its sad right? Just because we work here doesnt mean we gotta be a bunch of faceless boring old farts" you covered your mouth quickly but the words hd already escaped. Fuck, why are you like this? The one time you could really use a thought to mouth filter it failed again.

"So whats your hobby?" You did a double take before frowing confused. Why did he care?

"I err well i make clothes for dolls and stuff" you mumbled, mixing your words a little bit. Some part of you still waring you this was a bd idea nd he was just going to make fun of you for it. The other more submissive part reasoning he wasnt the type to be refused.

"Dolls?" you cringed at his tone, he didnt sound creeped out, or as if he was about to laugh in your face but he sounded off? Strained? As if he'd been anticipating something like that but had hoped youd say something different.

"Yeah it started when i was a kid... When the first order took over my home planet the the job market crashed especially when the first order began conscripting kids" you paused for a moment gauging his reaction before deciding you should elaborate more.

"There wasnt many options for anyone i got conscripted but I failed the physicals and at the time couldnt read so failed the IQ tests. But my reaction time was quick so they wanted to train me as a pilot but i got terrible motion sickness. In the end they said i was useless and dumped me back home. I failed to be worthy of any resources" you recounted trying your best not to sound pathetic or depressed. But honestly being dumped back home for being useless really did a number on your self esteem for a good few years.

"The only other careers i could try once home were prostitution, serving girl, seamstress or try to abandon the planet and join the resistance. I became a seamstress because it meant i could learn to read patterns and stuff. Luckily because of my small hands i was ideal for making clothes for infants and smaller races" you added proud of your achievements. Although they were small you had done it all by yourself, no schooling or first order academies. Just you in your tiny bunk studying at night.

"But how do you get from illiterate seamstress to first order engineer?" Surprisingly the question didnt sting, nor was it harsh. He seemed invested in hearing how you actually ended up here. It was flattering in a way.

"Oh i had to learn to read as part of my apprenticeship; for patterns and stuff then i learned how to fix the machinery in the warehouses, i was the best person for the job because again small hands" you giggled raising your smaller then average hands and wiggled your fingers at him.

"I could reach where others couldnt when the sewing and press machines died. Then the first order came back to the planet looking for those with mechanical skills, they were desperate. We were taken to the supernova in its early days; just after snoke died and the commander becme supreme leader. I was trained up to keep things running smoothly while the more senoir engineers were sent to the more technical sectors" you ended your tale there wasnt much to say after that, youd gone through training and been assigned to your sector.

You moved to the open hatch and began loosening the clamp prompting matt to catch the door and let it slide shut without capturing your fingers.

"And why did the others laugh at you? I mean you just make clothes?" He pried not letting you escape his initial question.

"Yeah... its everything really? They already think Im too childish and get mysel upset or excited easily. Then they found out about Geb." You grunted, cursing yourself for letting Gebs name slip through knowing that this was going to be the point he began to ridicule you.

"Geb?" You nodded without looking up at him while making yourself busy by collecting your toold and playing your own game of tetris tryingnto fit everything neetly back into your bag

"Yes he is... he's a small bear stuffy, i brought him with me to remind me of home and i make all my outfits for him and dress him up. I made him little first order uniforms and tropper armour and stuff."

"You dress him up in uniform?" He asked his face breaking out into a grin. Though you couldnt tell if he was trying not to laugh or not.

"Yeah but not just officers and stuff; hey you like the supreme leader right? I did him" you changed the topic quickly, hopeing bringing up the man would send Matt into a kylo ren ted talk and get yourself out of the metaphorical hot seat.

"You made geb a kylo ren uniform?" He reiterated slowly as if needing to say it to let it sink in. You eyed him curiously waiting to see if he was offended on the commanders behalf or not. But when he finally chuckled you relaxed before gushing over the small bear you loved.

"Yeah i even did a little light saber too and and his helmet is removable and a little hood on his cloak oh oh and he has his little belt but the best part is his little fluffy ears poke out through his mask and stuff he is so cute, Geb's lived in it since i made it" you cooed letting yourself getting carried away explaining the little outfit youd spent almost a week creating. Matt beamed at you nodding along encouraging you, enjoying the show of pure innocent adoration. But stunned you into silence as he cut through all the talk with one single question.

"You think kylo ren's cute?"

You sputtered quickly glowing red as the huge man chuckled down at you almost cooing sweetly in a very un-matt way. Clearly something about all this had tickled him pink. He looked pretty smug actually. Good lord you hope he wasnt really freinds with the big man, youd die if any of this got back to him.

"Wha; err no. I err i dont err well maybe? I've never seen him in person; not close up anyway but i? I suppose he's probably cute; handsome? I dont think he'd like the word cute but handsome is good i suppose? But I meant Geb is cute... his fluffy little ears poke out the top of his kylo mask" you began scratching at your head lightly, trying to figure out how to get out of this with at least a shred of dignity. If that was even possible. It took your around three seconds to start talking yourself in circles nervously, your thoughts warning you not to insult your beloved leader 1. Incase matt lost his cool about it like he did at lunch the other day and 2. Well if matt was close to the kylo? Youd rather the leader of the first order knew you thought he was hot instead of cute.

"What do you think about kylo ren? You must like him to make an outfit for Geb" ah theres the matt you know and love. Thank god you thought youd lost him for a second there.

"Well yeah. I think he is a good leader, hes a smart tactician and skilled. Hes an astounding pilot and a frightening warrior;"

"You think he's frightening?" You frowned at the indignation in matts tone, the way he tensed and became clearly aggravated made you falter, why was he offended?

"Well dont you? He's so soo big, but then again so are you so you probably dont think he is scary; but to me your both soo huge!" You questioned blinking up at him curiously. Wasnt Matt scared of the supreme leader? Didnt he hear all the stories? You quickly grew uneasy with the mans simmering stare and tried to diffuse the situation by making a little comparrison between him and kylos impossible hieghts waving your hand at him animatedly. He finally cracked a smirk before tipping his head to the side .

"Your scared of my size?" He teased with a chuckle.

"No, i mean i was at first but now im not. You wont hurt me. But Kylo might if i annoy him and well most people think im annoying. But he is really scary he's stupid strong and people say he gets angry super quick and it just... he is really scary to me. i mean people chuckle about the way he says he is going to surpass darth vader but i think he already has in his own way" your words continued, thoughts and opinions on the commander that youd never shared with anyone pouring from you. You werent a fangirl but you did understand alot more of the subtleties that whent hand in hand with the commander and his abilities.

"You do? How?" Matt was quick to ask, he seemed eager to hear everything you had to say. As if he were glad someone else shared his love of the commander.

"His saber. Its all erratic and static-y, people can laugh about it. But that just shows they have no clue to what it takes to do something like that. That kyber crystal? Its gotta be cracked or something." You explained letting your theory out. Youd never really had anyone to explain this too before. It was actually nice to talk about so ething other than work a.nd food for a change

"How do you know about kyber?" You finched back at the sudden cold demanding tone. Warning? Threat? No, something else. Defensive. but your not sure why?

"I grew up on stories of the old empire. My grandpa was an inquisitor, i know the red sabers are made with bloodied angry kybers" you shrugged trying to play off the uneasy feelings matt gve you.

"You know not even vaders rage and hate managed to damage his kyber crystal. So for Ren to... the power it took to do that?" You spoke up again trying to make him perk up and snap out of the eerie calculating gze he had trapped you in. Luckily praising the commander seemd to do the trick. Thnk god, matt was a big guy, he was scary when his mood soured.

"Exactly! Its about time someone understood!" you grinned as mtt beamed down at you with an oddly fanatic look bout him. He relly did love to commander... it was almost creepy. But he was brightening up gain so you run with it.

"He's already got more going on then lord vader did. I just hope people dont manipulate him like its said they did with lord vader. Ren could be so much more. I mean as long as people dont mess with his head and stuff he'll finish what lord vader started, he has more drive." You summrised, in all honestly it was all true. Atleast in your mind, and thats not to sy you worshipped the ruler, well not like Matt seemed to anyway. But you did hold lot of respect and helthy amount of fear for the man. You secretly hoped youd never come face to face with him, youd probably die from a heart attack.

"You sound like you care for him despite your fear?" You faltered for a moment mulling over his words. You hummed for a moment contemplating your reply. Not just to keep him happy, but also genuinely cpnsideringnthe truth to hois statment. Finally you nodded to the huge man.

"I do. I mean I've never met him, if i did id either wet myself or he'd kill me for doing something stupid... like wetting myself probably" you chuckled trying to add a little humour, wanting to hopefully change the subject soon. You didnt exactly want to get caught gossiping about kylo. The last thing you needed was to give him an excuse to peak inside your mind, god knows what he could find...

"I dont think he'd kill you. You admire and respect him, he'd see that" Matt held your gaze leveling you with a stare, serious conviction that was sobering. Your demeanour changed once more uncertainty washing through you as his eyes bore into you. It was enough to make your head ache. But you ignored the light pressure of an oncoming head pains to continue your playfull facade.

"Like in my head? Oh god thatd be terrible what if he saw Geb? Or worse what if he found out i think hes good looking under that mask and has a gorgeous butt?" You panicked playfully, flushing at the small nugget of truth hidden in your teasing. You breathed a sigh of relief as the pressure receded in a stuttered jagged reversal.

"You've been staring at the commanders butt?" Why did he sound so smug about that? Unless he swings that way? oh maybe thats it? Matt had a crush on him~ that was actually quite sweet.

"Yeah, have you seen the man climb into the silencer? Thats the best butt in the first order! Besides toffee face had the old gnarled and ugly covered right? And huckleberry has the pale and sickly outer rim orphan thing going on, so kylos gotta be the young and handsome" you blushed as Matt suddenly boomed a laugh, holding his stomach as he lost himself in his belly laugh. You watched queitly, you got the feeling he didnt get a laugh very often. It made you feel a little sense of pride knowing youd given that to him.

"Did you just call Snoke toffee face?" He uttered chuckling between words still trying to compose himself. But even when he managed to cease the laughter his grin stayed across his face lighting up his handsome features, almost giving him life eyes sparkling with something youd not noticed in them before.

"Yeah... err dont tell anyone about that; especially the supreme leader and you most definitely cant tell him about geb, or that he has a cute butt! Pinky promise?" You rubbed the back of your neck nervously before perking up again and held out your pinky. You froze as you did so feeling embarrassed at showing such childish behaviour. But instead of being put off he smirked down at you, tipping his head forward, raising a hand to hover next to yours.

"Sure, but only if I get to see geb dressed up as kylo" he anounced lowering his voice as he inched forward locking eyes with you. You could only manage to look him in the eye for a few seconds before blushing again brighter and avert your eyes, focusing on the vast open space of the docking bays behinde him.

"Err sure but only if you dont make fun ok? Its bad enough with the others" you mumbled aprihensively nodding to him.

"I wont make fun of you, its nice to see someone recognise our leaders greatness, you idolise him enough to create an efergy of him. Its cute" He smirked curling his pinky around yours sealing the deal with a little shake of pinkies.

Kylo couldnt help the way his body warmed as his mind began twisting itself around the idea of you. This little promise was much more then you realised, he was swearing to himself youd become his. It was only a matter of time.

He couldnt stop. He couldnt erase you from his mind. The tiny naive technician he'd spent the day with. It was rare for him to be so drawn to someone. But you? You admired him, and understood his greatness more then most, understood him more than even he could ever imagine. You belived in him, worshipped him! It had taken everything in him not to reveal himself then and there. To tell you how right you were, how smart he thought you were. But he hadnt. He'd simply left the shift with a spring in his step. The knowledge that someone as sweet and innocent aboard the ship actually respected him was enough to make him giddy. And he didnt get giddy. He'd quickly brought the undercover project to an end after that. Not wanting to endure another day with irritating jobs worths and bitching. And he was far to tempted to smuggle you into the safety of his own chambers. Word got out about the whole thing, and that Matt was actually kylo. Some people suspected as much but by that point he didnt care. He was too wrapped up with thoughts of his tiny technician.

He had suspicions on the type of woman you were. Shy, sweet kind and open hearted. But naive and excitable a childlike quality. something he adored and secretly craved. There was something that pulled him to such a woman. He'd dabbled in erotica, reading up on all types of fantasies during those odd few years after escapeing to the darkside. Suddenly he was free to explore in that respect. Reading kink, watching porn on the holonet and having his first few sexual encounters. He thought it was strange but it was the careing aspect of control he craved more then anything. He had odd tastes in sex had lead him to almost abstinence. He liked being called daddy, loved being much larger then his partner. Feeling needed, having soemone obey him because they trusted him to make the right decisions. He needed someone to be his entirely, someone to absolutly adore him and listen. Someone fun who could brighten up his days. He just wanted one person to give themselves to him entirely without an ulterior motive. But it was difficult to find such a woman aboard the supremacy, they all had plans to ensnare him in some stupid plot to fame and fortune or worse. Children. Sure he was aware oneday he'd have to continue his legacy but not now, not in the middle of a god damned war!

But here he may have found what he was truley looking for in you. He wanted a permanent lover, sweet, small and genuinely innocent. You were unique a gentle somewhat clumsy person with little quirks, enough little quirks for him to wonder if you were indeed a little. He was no expert, he'd only ever really seen and played with littles in the clubs he and his knights frequented when the stress of the military got too much. But you were sending all the signals, maybe he just needed to take the reigns and give a few sharp tugs to snap you into little space. From the looks of it, you wouldnt need much coaxing. Well unless nerves got in the way but a few swift trips over his knee and some playful swats would probably be enough to stop any denile.

The anticipation that quivered inside of him, shook him to his core. Sweet, small, naive and breakable. A little. Fuck. A little here of all places?! Double fuck. Now was not the time to find that kind of gem! But then again who was he to kick a gift horse in the mouth? For such a rarity to wind up here of all places and land in his lap like that must be a sign from the universe? You must be a reward, you were perfect! And you were his. He just had to draw you in. He needed a reason to see you, a reason to get you to his chambers. And then he just had to keep you there.

#oh for fic sake fics #kylo x reader #star wars kylo ren #kylo ren #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic #matt the radar technician #star wars imagine #daddy!kylo #kylo x sub reader #kylo x little!reader #star wars #star wars sequals

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midnigtartist · 2 months

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Since Dotty is romancing Gale and has a history of acquaintance/friendship with Wyll, I'm curious about what her relationships with the rest of the party are like if you don't mind sharing. C:

I’m gonna just do the remaining origin characters so this post doesn’t get to long!

Shadowheart: Dotty kind of imprinted on her like a duckling lol. Shes who Dotty would consider to be her first friend on the adventure. Being friends with Dotty has definitely instilled the ‘mom arm’ instinct in Shadowheart bc Dotty (the rogue) has extremely low perception and walks into traps constantly. They basically walk around w Shadowheats hand on the back of her shirt to point her in the direction of things that need disarming

Lae’zel: i dont think Lae’zel really warmed up to Dot until the end of act one. She thought Dotty was weak in body and will and that she was probably gonna die early and stupidly and took up a begrudging protector roll with her. its not till everything that goes down a the crèche that they really become friends and Dotty proves that shes someone that can be relied on. Also did a big class change in act three where Dotty took fighter lvls and I hc that she asked Lae’zel to train her

Karlach: I dont have Karlach in my party often but she and Dot are definitely chaos “let me shoots this apple off your head blindfolded” friends. Drinking buddies for sure. Karlach calls her Shortie 💙

Astarion: its very “im the only one allowed to bully you” energy from Astarion. Dotty is kind of exactly the person he hates. Too emotional, too naive , too much of a bleeding heart. He finds her extremely annoying at first but possibly stupid enough to run his little scheme on if she wasnt so head over heels for Gale (ugh). He wants to hate her, but shes so infuriatingly considerate and nice. Being mean to her would be like kicking a blind puppy. Its no fun if she doesnt see it coming (he says even though he is a bit protective of her). I also love the idea of them eventually becoming in laws bc Astarion is so her cousin’s type lol

#tav shit #dotty mcclain

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moonstruckme · 6 months

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Ooooh my love, ive just had a devastatingly brilliant idea for a fic while reading another (i also had to do a little research on HP ghosts as well). Of course only if you have the time and feel like it x

What if slytherin!reader went to hogwarts with the marauders + lily and was wolfstar!Sirius' little sisters but she died tragically/mysteriously before graduating. Now shes one of the ghost at Hogwarts because she wasn't finished proving her brothers innocence. Skip to PoA, shes sooo excited about Remus (Remmy) being there and having a part of her family back. She'd missed him so much. So on the night with pettigrew, Remus made her wait in the castle for 'safety' (hes still 1 of her 4 older brothers) but if he wasnt back to come get him when the moon was nearly at its peak. And she does, appearring in the willow causing both Black siblings to pause. Reader because she finally found Sirius, but him because no one had bothered to tell him she was dead. But a happy ending where Remus stays professor, Sirius is pardoned and they both live on Hogwarts ground with reader and Harry (and maybe even Mattheo because technically he is just another child of Black suffering at his parents hands)

Side note: I also imagine her attending classes, being a pain in Snape's ass (especially when he's mean to Harry - she definetly favours him), standing up for the 🐍boys (taking them under her wing) and messing around with Peeves.

Anyway darling, love you lots and i hope your midterms go well!! Try not to stress over them too much and take care of yourself xx

Hi my lovely!! Let me tell you, I had SUCH a good time reading this over and over. I feel like it's already so fully fleshed that I wouldn't really have much to add, so I hope it's alright if I just share it like this? (The people need to see and left to my own devices it might sit in my inbox for months </3) I'm particularly obsessed with the idea of big brother Remus, I've always wanted an older brother (though I've been told repeatedly they're bullies) and I feel like he would be so soft and kind even if he does get annoyed with you sometimes. And thank you for giving our poor boys the happy ending they deserve :')

Love you so much sweetheart! My midterms did in fact go well and this week I'm rewarding myself with Halloween movies and coziness, hope you're taking care of yourself just as well (if not better, you deserve the world) <33

#mae’s asks

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souryogurt64 · 2 years

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i’m sure this has been asked before but why do you think the panic split was so nasty? they say it was a musical dispute but it seems so much more bitter than that

i dont know so this is a bunch of rambling that doesnt go anywhere or seem coherent

firstly, you change a lot between the ages of 18-22 which i think is part of it. so much happened so fast

ryan (and spencer) also went from not ever drinking or doing drugs to an addiction, i think it happened faster to ryan, and i think that can strain any relationship. also, i think its apparent that ryan wanted to go a more indie route with the band and brendon wanted to go commercial. in the only young veins interview ryan said something about going indie because of not being able to trust people in the business, which was interesting.

also, around the time of pretty odd ish they brought someone new on their team. brendon lived with this person, shared a pet with this person, shared finances with this person, and posted photos of them holding hands. a semi-intimate photo of brendon and this person was leaked and someone leaked a drive of hundreds of photos of them meeting each others families. brendon went on to sue this person for allegedly stealing over $100k from him. its never been confirmed if they were dating but its clear they were close at one point. i wouldnt be surprised if this played a role in the dynamic of the band shifting.

i dont think brendon and ryan ever dated but brendon has since come out and i think ryan built so much of his lyrical work around out gay authors. in my own experience i think that those types of friendships can sometimes be the most violent and emotional when they implode and there can be a lot of jealousy and resentment even if its wasnt ever necessarily romantic. i honestly think thats a reason why it was so bitter.

there was a point about 10 years ago where ryan thought he had reconciled with brendon but was being catfished by an insane stalker and then the real brendon wanted nothing to do with ryan. i think that shows the bitterness became more one-sided. i think brendon has a tendency to be a bully and burn bridges for sure

also, they were taking a lot of psychedelic drugs and probably other drugs while recording the album and they did a lot of it in an isolated cabin. this is definitely enough to drive anyone insane and make them hate each other.

brendon said this about it in 2019

Oh we were just on mushrooms the whole time. When we were writing for the second album we locked ourselves away in a cabin for about three months. We had this idea to do like a musical. The music ended up being way too ambitious and we were all fighting so much. This was kind of the beginning of the end. We were trying to do this whole thing and it didn't work out at all. Spencer and Ryan had never drank, never done drugs, so this was like their college experience. So we were all raging so hard for that whole album. I think we were doing it to cope with each other too because we had lived with each other basically every day for like three years. We were just tired so we were like let's go live together in a cabin and take psychedelics, because that'll help I guess.

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sleeping-lilies · 3 years

Text

robin era jason, dick, and babs headcanons because there’s too much comedic potential to ignore

- dick and babs were the ultimate gossip buddies. whenever dick was with the titans for long periods of time, babs always filled him in on everything

babs: dick you’ll never believe what hal said to bruce last night, i even have videos. dick, the look on his face please—

dick, immediately locking doors so his teammates don’t hear the mad shit about to be dropped on main: tell me everything

- vice versa too, dick filled babs in on everything going on with the titans and all they can say is thank god those lines are bat secured with no villains being able to listen in, imagine deathstroke hearing through bat gossip that joey’s dating who?!?! 😳

- batkids have been and always will be the holder of superhero gossip. it’s a business, you see, but we’re getting off topic 😡

- lmfao anyways this is literally how dick finds out about jason

babs: anyways, jason—

dick: who the fuck is jason

babs: ....

dick: barbara?!?!

babs: ok promise you won’t freak out

- babs and dick’s first reaction upon meeting jason being “why is he so small i wasnt that small” “dick you were literally nine when you were robin—“ “he’s tiny” it’s like those two share the same braincell

- i’m making it so that dick gave jason his number earlier because i feel like it 😡😡😡 (not that it changes much other than the fact that i want more gossip dropped in dm’s)

- when dick gave jason his number, he went to babs like “give me jason’s number” “didn’t you literally just give him your’s?” “ya but i’m gonna make sure he texts me” “ya ok that’s fair”

- whenever jason didn’t want to be in the manor (fight with bruce, boredom, etc) he went to wherever the fuck babs lived and they would facetime dick and talk mad shit. it was a thing.

- despite them all being able to drive, babs was the only one during this time with an actual, legitimate, legal license (jason was too young to have a license and dick is too lazy/busy/whatever-excuse-he-wants-to-use to take the permit and driving test) so babs drove them around everywhere and it was a mess™ consisting of a bunch of backseat drivers

- “dick omg look at this video i found from the batcave” “omg he said robin gives him magic” “robin gives him magic” they both cry about it for years to come

- babs sometimes kidnapped jason after school after telling the head of wayne manor (alfred) and took him to get ice cream, then to the library while she worked. jason was the greatest kid in the library, he even had his own throne special chair just for him whenever he came provided by library staff who adored this absolute angel.

- jason 🤝 babs 🤝 dick -> i believe in annoying yet endearing nicknames supremacy

- nicknames include (some used by some more than others or just one, or by both equally because they’re annoying pick and choose my good people)

little wing (iconic, we all know this one fellas and who uses it)

red (used for babs, absolutely fantastic, but in the future it gets confusing because some people with their goddamn hero names 😡)

boy wonder (classic, babs calls them both that)

barbie (for babs, jason uses this one and he’s the only one able to get away with it)

dickie (jason just really gets away with everything huh)

dickhead (jason’s lucky he’s cute)

baba black sheep (jeez i’m on a roll with babs’ nicknames she’s so nickname-able and that’s very cool and sexy of her)

jay z

jay allen

jay jay jay (shut up, dickhead—)

big bird

and a bunch more i’m too tired to look for them in canon or make new ones up, but you get the idea

- dick can totally bake, and babs and jason keep bugging him when he’s baking and add more chocolate chips while pretending to not notice that he can see them 😡😡😡

- headcanon that jason had hero worship for babs and dick because they’re so cool in and out of costume and it never really went away when he got older listen his older brother and pseudo sister are so cool and that’s not his fault but he’ll never admit it

- barbie movie marathons because barbie is an iconic legend and they all recognize it. they have the fucking “she’s the queen of the WA-A-A-AVES” song memorized along with all other barbie movie songs, they sing it on patrol.

- dick and jason’s sibling dynamic was and is basically “ur a little shit and i hate you but i will literally kill for you”

- dick had tension with bruce while jason was just a little shit who would totally cause drama for the sake of it, and people never take advantage of this absolute power duo for destroying bruce

- dick sending cryptid texts to jason through a burner phone because he’s dramatic jason totally knew it was him about things that drive bruce mad, like leaving the shower turned to the coldest setting before bruce got there, leaving the lights in the batcave on, etc. jason, a wise little child, totally took advantage of this. bruce came to accept his fate

- the gc names, guys the group chat names

- jason crashing into titans tower whenever he wants and dick doesn’t bat (hAH) an eye, occasionally he very sweetly asks babs to come with him and she agrees but only sometimes because some people have jobs, jason—wait dick is being flirted with by who?!?! i’ll leave it up to your imagination ;) and they totally crashed titans missions too

- one time bruce was busy with the league while alfred was on vacation and bruce absolutely could not dip (i’m imagining bruce getting a call from the headmaster during an honest to god fight and bruce just picking up while punching the daylights out of some asshole) (“mr wayne, what is that noise in the background?” “sorry, headmaster, the cat is having a seizure”), so when jason got into a “fight” (read: some jackass picking on jason before he snapped and yelled at him and the bitchass kid tried to punch him and jason’s no quitter) bruce called dick who was an adult and legally family (yes dick is adopted sometime after jason was, stay mad) like “son... son please” and dick was like “oh no need to plead with me, this is too good” but of course this bitchass doesn’t have an actual lisence yet and he was hanging out with babs anyways so he and babs rolled up to gotham academy and the kids stared at them like “holy shit they’re so cool” ya dick and babs are those power couple, whether romantic or not, that turn heads, they’re just that powerful strolled into the office, bailed jason out while intimidating the headmaster because the altercation was the result of school staff negligence of actual bullying like those cliche tropes, said “ayyy you got that brat good” and get him chili dogs or whatever the fandom made robin jason’s favorite food. omg i just made an entire fanfic in rough draft form someone please steal it and write it in full form and send me the link

- jason is very very tiny, you see. babs and dick pick him up and move him for any reason, whether because they want to sit on that chair or to just throw him out of harm’s way and take the bullet for themselves.

- jason and dick both get adorable blushes on their faces it’s genetic yes that’s how genetics work shut up meanwhile babs’ ears turn red when she’s embarrassed and all three of them clown each other for it

- i yelled about this to my mutual (cough cough @littlespaceboii) who also added to this absolute dogshit headcanon and then in the discord full of mutuals, but the basement of wayne manor is haunted. dick found it when he was a little gremlin (i stand by that dick was the original demon child) (“you see damian, before there was you there was me” the real reason he was good with damian lmfao) and was like “omg this is so cool” @littlespaceboii came up with that it was just alfred fucking with bruce and so when jason first came and dick was comfy around him he was like “so have you been in the basement” and jason was like “im literally robin i’ve been in the batcave?!?!” and dick goes “no the basement, the haunted one” and jason’s like “hAUNTED?!?!” cuz jason has at least some self preservations and knows not to fuck with the spookies until he too became a spooky and bruce was like “there’s no ghost it’s not haunted” because he’s a skeptic and a party pooper and babs is like “no go on let him finish” even though she knows full well there are no ghosts or does she? and uhhhh basically they becomes ghostbusters 2.0 but cooler and funnier

- this trio is basically baby pan/bisexual jason and two resident expert pan/bisexuals solidarity but that’s literally canon. they go to pride every year that jason’s alive what who said that?

- they all tease each other for their crushes like all siblings/family friends do, i don’t need to say it but it’s important that’s emphasized for my well being

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals who added onto this absolute train wreck too, but jason used to play baseball during his robin days, and dick never showed up to those games with being busy as an excuse, but babs always showed up with bruce and alfred and took pictures for dick so dick could be like “mlb players are jobless now that little wing is on the scene” babs (and sometimes bruce) always shouted loudest for jason whether he was in the field or in the dugout and jason would get this extremely adorable blush on his face (jason finds out in the future why dick never showed up (cough cough ptsd from two face’s massive baseball bat which led to everything that came after including being fired and veangance academy and nearly killing two face and omg that’s a ride) and is like oh my god my childhood is even more ruined—)

- remember when i said dick got adopted after jason did in this new absolutely fabulous canon i just created? bruce did that because “ahhh fuck that’s my kid and i want him to know i love him through every means possible since i have the ability to do so” i believe in good dad bruce supremacy and made a whole thing where he invited dick to dinner for like a week to work up the courage and bonding to ask him and show him the adoption papers and then everyone cried :) bruce decided to finally adopt dick after jason referred to dick as his brother and bruce was like “...oh” and alfred was like 👀

- dick, as the first child hero and one of the first heroes period like at least a year or two before babs, holds the “back in my day” card over literally everyone in the hero community in general and pulls it out to annoy babs and jason even tho babs literally joined the scene only a year or two after dick

jason, shaking in his panties: it’s so fucking cold

dick, standing strong in his tits out outfit, who had to wear the panties on his own decision: oh, you’re cold? back in my day—

babs, throwing her boot at his face: god shut the fuck up—

and then dick doesn’t give back her boot and it becomes a whole thing with lots of tackling and play fighting and someone nearly gets thrown off they rooftop for funsies but anyways

also on a side note, babs would take off her cape and wrap it around jason whenever she noticed his discomfort with the weather, or use the weather as an excuse whenever she saw him uneasy for whatever reason and they never mention it to each other

- yelled about this in the discord to the mutuals at some point too holy shit i have friends, but those three are team rocket. they went out as team rocket for halloween one year after bullying bruce to let jason out only jason because he can’t tell dick and babs what to do and jason is under his care and when they do convince him, dick and babs bully jason into being meowth. manifesting jason in a meowth onesie ARTISTS PLEASE—

- dick finally took his license seriously and took his driver’s test after babs became paralyzed.

- those were a rough few months for those three. and then another rough few months for those two

- yikes, sorry to throw angst at you (sorry (unfeeling)) anyways, in the future alfred finds those old photos and shows the rest of the fam, so dick and babs bully jason, 6’2 jason that towers way above both of them, and once again bullies him into being meowth “for tradition, little wing!” “shut up, dickhead” the rest of the batkids lose their shit over this, naturally. bruce and alfred stand in the back teary eyed reminiscing the old days when things were a little more simple.

- discowing walked so terrifying handsome squidward red hood helmet could run (even tho the ugly helmet tripped and fell and missed the mark because discowing wasn’t ugly and will always remain superior, i feel i have committed a terrible crime comparing the two)

dick: jason what the fuck is that

jason: it’s fashion

dick: it’s terrifying

jason: i’m only following in my older brother’s footsteps 😔

dick: listen here, you little shit strangles him haha just kidding that illegal wait theyre vigilantes they don’t follow the law—

- these three and cass refer to the rest of the batkids as “the kids” (if she’s older than jason, sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t and i’m really confused but whatever)

- babs and dick’s relationship with jason pre death literally shaped how jason treats his siblings post pit madness like he literally goes “what would red and big bird do?!??” when he needs to go into big brother mode over the “little ones” (“little” because tim and steph are adults and duke is nearly an adult himself oh my god he’ll graduate from high school soon and jason never got to do that himself he’s totally going to the ceremony legally dead or not) 🥺

- holy trinity continue hanging out with each other, whether lunch or games or whatever, and just enjoy each other’s company after long, rough years

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thechangeling · 3 years

Text

Ok so a conversation @littlx-songbxrd and I were having made me remember something I was ranting about to a friend of mine once.

Brace yourselves this is going to be long. I'm sorry.

The sexism, homophobia and racism of the shadoworld straight up doesn't make sense and here's why. So if we start chronologically with the infernal devices. There is sexism towards Charlotte right? People don't want her running the institute and they don't want her becoming the consul because she is a woman. But the Clave has no problem letting women train and fight. This doesn't really make sense in my opinion.

Now you could argue that it's because they believe woman can be string capable fighters just not rational thinkers. Which is weird because in my experience you don't meet a lot of people who are "partially sexist" in that way. Like if a man believes a woman can't do high profile, high paying jobs then they usually also don't want them in the military. Anyways moving on, there aren't any mentions of homophobia in TID, mostly because they're arent any queer characters except Magnus and Woolsey.

But something interesting to point out is that none of the characters who know about Magnus and Woolsey ever comment on it really. And following this point, none of the mains display any signs of misogyny either really. (Except for what Will says to Tessa at the end of CA but that was because of the "curse.") You could argue that this is because they're the protagonists so they are supposed to be better then that. But accidental microaggressions are pretty common especially during that time period. More on that later.

Moving onto racism, this is the interesting part. Jem says to Tessa that shadowhunters believe that you are a shadowhunter first and your nationality or eace second. Actually Jem doesnt mention race but he says this while talking about being half Chinese so it's kinda relevant. Shadowhunters rarely tall about race throughout the books in general except for a few instances. When Jessamine criticizes Jem to Tessa, she calls him a foreigner and says some other racist shit that I can't really remember. Something about the yin fin and calling him lazy. That directly contradicts Jem's statement about them all being shadowhunters first. Also Will and Jem actually constantly talk about being Welsh and Chinese in the books so that statement is kinda bogus in general.

And if CC didn't want her mains being sexist or homophobic to show them as good people then why was it ok for both Jesse and Gabriel to say questionable shit about Jem? Anyways moving on to TLH. Sexism is still running rampid with their cultural customs and people being shitty about Charlotte being consul. Bots have to ask the girls to dance, girls cannot have sex before marriage or else they will be ruined or whatever you know the drill. But again, they let the girls fight. Cordelia is allowed to carry around a giant ass sword but she can't get some????

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE CASSANDRA!!!!!

Sorry I'm losing it. Anyways. Regarding racism. Alastair and Cordelia have experienced micro aggressions from the mains (Matthew and Anna) but it's never addressed. I'm pretty sure if memory serves, the inquisitor makes a nasty comment under his breath about persians when the Carstairs family sans Elias arrive. And then we have the whitewashing of Ariadne/Kamala by her parents.

But none of this stuff ever gets brought up really. Exceot for Kamala talking about her past and who she was before and sharing her original name, but she still doesn't talk about how it effects her potential coming out. Alastair doesnt mention race when he talks about the bullying he went through at the academy and none of the white characters ever stop to think about how Kamala and Alastsir's races play a part in their crappy situations.

There's probably more I could discuss with this but I'm moving on to homophobia. It's a thing in terms of the heteronormativity and people's judgement of Anna but it's not illegal like in mundane societies at this time. But all of the mains are totally cool with it which brings me to, I'm sorry but fucking bullshit! There is no way every single adult would be totally fine with it in this time period. Like I'm not saying outright homophobia but maybe some questionable comments you know? (CC is perpetuating this idea that good people never commit microaggressions which is untrue and harmful.)

I don't think there's any mention of whether or not gay marriage is allowed in the shadowhunter world at this point. Because the issues surrounding Magnus and Alec getting married were about Magnus being a warlock right? Because Helen and Aline got married before them in TFTSA because she was only half fae. So that brings me to when was gay marriage legalized in the shadow world?????

Is there any mention of this because I don't think there is? Anyways moving onto TMI. This is where everything goes to absolute shit in terms of world building with the standards for these things. Misogyny isn't really a problem in tmi anymore from what I remember. Nobody has issues with Jia as consul (from what I remember,) and that's that. But homophobia is still rambid throughout shadowhunter society so much so that Alec is terrified to come out because he believes that he can't be gay and be a shadowhunter in peoples eyes. Also there is pressure to "carry on the family name" which doesn't make sense because if the sexism has died out then women can have babies with whoever and not even be married and carry on their family line. And not everyone needs to have children, ergo there is less pressure on the sons to carry on the family name or whatever. This also doesn't make sense because homophobia literally cannot exist without sexism!!!!

This is because of colonial gender roles being forced on society. And men being with men and women being with woman totally smashes the whole gender roles, "woman do this and men do that" idea. There's more that I could say on that but this is already so freaking long so please just look it up. And speaking of gender roles it's literally mentioned that Maryse didn't teach Izzy to cook because she didn't want her to be forced into a housewife role like she was (although there's no evidence to suggest she was?) But then Maryse is lowkey homophobic?

It doesn't make sense Cassandra!!!!!

CC doesn't get that you literally don't have homophobia or transphobia without sexism. Indigenous societies pre-colonization didn't care about any of that stuff. Literally two spirit people were revered and respected and no one gave a fuck about gender until my ancestors literally came along and ruined everything. (I'm so sorry.)

But anyways there's no mentions of racism amongst the shadowhunters in tmi. Just Maia talking about her experiences with mundane society as a black girl. When Clary confronts Valentine and basically calls him a n*zi, he laughs at her and basically says that shadowhunters don't see race the way mundanes do which yikes @ CC. Granted this was 2007. This kind of sounds like what Jem said in TID. Only it clearly wasnt true.

Anyways I'm just super confused at this point. In TDA there was basically nothing in terms of all the isms and phobias. (Oh we arent even discussing ableism because my fucking head will explode!) But we do discuss transphobia a bit with Diana. But again it doesn't make fucking sense because transphobia exists because of sexism and clear gender roles (and homophobia.)

Society is still shown to be pretty heteronormative though which I guess makes sense but the Blackthorns have multiple queers in their family! You would think that they would be less so. When Livvy mentions all the reasons that Annabel could have a forbidden love she doesnt even think to mention that it could be a lesbian relationship. When Mark finds out that Jaime was in Dru's room he freaks out but I guarentee you, he wouldn't have if Jaime was a girl. I mean you could argue that it's an age thing and not a gender thing but idk. That scene always bothered the fuck out of me. Because Mark is literally half fae like why is he caught up on bullshit "boys and girls can't just be friends" hetero bullshit.

In QOAAD we see Dane Larksoear being sexist so randomly for no reason. Like it's so strange because CC literally created a caricature of a sexist villian with him. And it makes no sense because no one else seems to feel the way he does. Like Zara is basically the leader of the cohort right? And nobody gives a fuck. It makes no damn sense Cassandra!

And finally, why is the faerie world sexist with gender roles WHEN EVERYONE IS LITERALLY BISEXUAL AND THEY'RE FAERIES CASSANDRA!!!???? THEY'RE LITERALLY FAERIES WHY IS THERE A CONCEPT OF GENDER AT ALL CASSANDRA????!!!!

Ok lol now I'm done. Sorry this is so long. But yeah I'm so confused.

Tldr: CC's world building in regards to sexism, homophobia, racism and transphobia is very inconsistent and contradictory and it makes no damn sense.

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #tlh #twp #the wicked powers #the last hours #tmi #tid #tw mentions of transphobia #tw mentions of racism #tw mentions of homophobia #tw mentions of sexism #anti cc #long post

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Bucky Barnes’ adoptive child

Bucky Barnes x child!reader

warnings: knife

a/n:

prompt: @multifandomlover121: “i adored your natasha romanoff’s child headcanons! could you do one with bucky barnes and him adopting a child? thank you!!”

bucky saw someone in need and wanted to help them

that someone was you

he would have wanted someone to do the same for him

“are you okay, kid?”

“i’m fine...”

“are you sure?”

“...no”

you kinda started crying and ran off

but that wasnt the last time he had seen you

the more he’d run into you, the more he’d check on you, offer you food/water/shelter

“i really don’t mind, it’s the least i could do”

“are you sure?”

“i am”

you began to trust bucky more as time went on, he really was helpinh you out of the kindness of his heart

and buck became more protective of you, of course

soon enough he saw you as his child and you saw him as your father, neither of you had had a bond like that before

“i’m going to the market, do you want anything?”

“uh, peaches?”

“got it, be back in a while, don’t answer the door for anyone”

“got it, pa”

that was the first time you called him “pa” and he shut the door behind him and stood there in SHOCK he was so ???!!!!

you asked him about his life, and at first he didn’t want to tell you much

“pleaseee? it all seems so interesting”

“well, i don’t remember it much. and everything i do remember isn’t very great”

“is that why you’re lying low?”

“yeah...that’s one of them”

“can you tell my how you got your metal arm?”

you tried not to pry but you were disappointed that he wouldn’t open up to you

he knew just about everything about the short past you had, all the highs and lows of your messy childhood before he met you

bucky lived in a one bedroom apartment, so he gave you the bedroom and slept on the couch

honestly you guys led your lives mainly inside the apartment just to stay safe

and filling the day was a bit difficult, but you managed

“can i watch tv?”

“after the news”

“you said that twenty minutes ago”

“well, it’s not over yet. just watch it with me”

“can i pleaaaase watch tv?”

that “pleaaaase” always makes him cave

you two also baked together! it calms his nerves

especially when he can smell cookies/brownies/cake/etc baking in the oven, it’s his favorite

“are you sure we’re making these right, y/n?”

“no, i am not.”

helping him clean his arm sometimes

he couldn’t get in the crevices

one day you were watching tv and it said that bucky was wanted for a bombing, which couldnt be true because that was in vienna and you were far from there

“so that’s what you didn’t want to tell me? you’re a...”

“a terrorist? an assassin? an 100 year old man? i...i wish i wasn’t, but i had no choice. i can’t remember everything that happened to me, but i don’t want to. this new life is good for me and you. and i promise i would never do anything to hurt you”

“i know, pa, i trust you more than anyone else on earth. but...what does this mean for us now? the whole world is looking for you”

“nothing, they wont find us here. i’m going to the market for plums, though. keep the door and windows locked”

“yes sir”

“love you, kid”

“love you, pa”

and the next thing you know the door has been opened and you do not know what to do so you hide because that’s the plan you and bucky came up with just in case and next thing you know there’s sounds of fighting, things breaking, yelling

it’s time to come out

“pa? pa, where are you?”

“y/n, get down!”

“bucky, who is that?” -cap

“my kid”

steve immediately: ????¿???

ur WHAT

anywhooo you ended up running with them and not able to keep up bc they were kinda enhanced 100 year old men and you were baby

so the falcon, the REAL DEAL MAN RIGHT THERE had to give you a helping hand

“you doing alright, kid?”

“to be honest, i’ve never flown before”

✨getting arrested with pa and the crew✨

you sat next to steve rogers

“so, you’re bucky’s...child?”

“he took me in a while ago, we were both in a dark place”

“has he told you about his past?”

“i ask but he cant remember most of it, and what he does remember, he’s too ashamed to say. he just recently told me he used to be an assassin...and he’s and eldery man”

“hey, whatever happens to buck—your dad, i just want to let you know that i’ll be here for you, okay? he was my best friend growing up, i owe it to him”

it’s a feat to be a minor caught by the CIA but look at you go

you had to explain how you and bucky became family, which they were not buying even though every word was true

releasing you to steve bc he had some pull

oh yeah bucky kinda sorta went feral and you insisted you’d be able to calm him down but it doesn’t exactly work that way

“pa! i’m right here, it’s me! please, stop it!”

“y/n, you need to get out of here, it’s not safe!”

“i can’t leave him like this!”

escaping the CIA and waiting for your dad to wake up, this is where he regained his full memory

once he was free of the debris, he gave you a big hug and apologized with tears in his eyes (why the fuck am i rhyming)

“i’m sorry if i scared you, dragă”

“i couldn’t ever be scared of you”

steve was so happy that bucky was happy dhshshshhshs

being pushed in the backseat with pa

sharing your granola bar

since bucky remembered some good thinsg about his past, he thought it may be time to share!

“yeah, so me and steve were best friends, right? steve always picked fights with every bully he met, despite being less than half the weight he is now. i always had to swoop in and save the day”

“i can’t believe you were born in 1917. my father is a world war two veteran”

“how impressive” -sam, also a war vet

honestly they didn’t expect THAT much resistance at the airport but everyone knew you were off limits

excellent spiderman who webbed your hand to a car

luckily, your dad had taught you a thing or two and you got to hacking through these webs with your pocket knife

it took forever

but you finally escaped with your dad and who you’d soon call ‘uncle steve’

black widow nearly stopped you, you were very afraid :)

bucky made u stay in the jet “for your own safety”

“we don’t know what to expect in there, y/n. the last thing i want for you is to get hurt. i should have never dragged you into this”

steve casually talking to bucky about you being unofficially adopted by him

“so, you’re a dad?”

“that i am”

“what’s it like?”

“it’s like...finding a reason to get up every day. and a decent amount of compromise”

“sounds exciting”

“you have no idea”

finally being retrieved from the jet to see your dad with one arm

trippin out

but he told you it was alright

t’challa, new king of wakanda who was trying to end bucky’s life just a few hours ago had apologized and offered you sanctuary in his country

he SPECIFICALLY apologized to you, saying that it was unfair to you by trying to hurt your father because the pain of losing one is unbearable in his eyes

getting some much needed peace (not really bc you wanted to train with wakandan warriors)

and it paid off since you all had to fight off a hoard of aliens

“you think you can handle this, y/n?”

“oh yeah”

you definitely could not handle your dad turning to dust :)

:))))))

“y/n? steve?”

no nope no

steve had to take care of you on bucky’s five year hiatus from life (oh my god im sorry)

not a day went by that you didn’t think of him

it kinda sucked bc you didn’t have any pictures together or anything, only pictures from the 1940’s that steve pulled out every once in a while

“doing okay, y/n?”

“not really”

“do you want to come and watch a movie with me or something? im still not completely caught up on everything i missed”

after five years, there was a breakthrough and it was finally time to get your dad back

but he probably wouldn’t recognize you...you’ll find out soon enough

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x child!reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier imagine #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers #avengers imagine #avengers x reader

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maggotmouth · 3 years

Text

hillo sexthy legends !! i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !! x o x

* CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

— born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

— its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

— margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

— for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

— at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

— she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

— a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.

— she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away. it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

— after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.

— she works at summer camps coaching junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

— enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment.

— she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

— used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

— was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

— nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

— has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

— she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

— calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

— stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

— lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

— constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

— frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you, indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine.

TLDR: angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

#aaaaaaa #we back boys #irvingintro #hmu for plots bayybeyyy

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

Text

a thank you from an unburning lion secondary, with faulty bird model

I’m the lion primary who was doubting itself and who talked their way in your anon box to understanding themselves. You were pretty comprehensive and it was nice to really notice we share primaries xD One thing shocked me and left me O_O was at the end, when I left that commentary about bullies (my school knew me both for my excellent notes and my fights both bcs i couldnt left a situation alone) and you said, wow and a lion secondary.

i was shocked. Like I say this and I remember my earlier years and the problems I’ve always have talking with people and it’s my bluntness and lack of attention to others feelings which had always have my mother scolding me after going out with her or talking with friends or telling her about any interaction. Same with my father. And then I stopped. I started reading, I fell for fanfiction and manga, and lost my childhood friends bcs I coudn’t relate to them, and during all of HS until my second year of university I was so so alone.

And I didn’t speak out about my feels. I still don’t. Not to my family not to anybody. I felt so guilty, because once upon a time I did whatever I felt and then I learnt that being so intelligent, and open about my feelings and my life was unsensible to people, and then I learnt (justly so I think) that I shoudn’t act without thinking about others.

But I feel somewhere in the way, I started feeling guilty of being myself. I learnt I’m too much for people. Now I over-analyze every interaction I have; have i overshared anything? Did i let the other talk and express themselves? I do it before taking charge in a group assignment or outing bcs I internalised that they don’t want it, that I’m being annoying reminding them of the tasks or the things we should be doing.

You need to sweet-talk people, and I’m bad at it and although sometimes it can be funny most often is just plain tiring. And I’m the first surprised when someone is direct about anything. I like so much, so much learning about things, I feel deep inside the correct way of approaching problems should be to consider them from every angle, analyze the facts and the feelings they provoke and then come up with a good solution; I write and I want to investigate everything before starting any story but I’m completely unable to do so. Same with my studies, same with people.

And then I wing it and it results so much better and it’s frustrating. People say: you’re so good at this, you must study/dedicate so much time to it. And I just do enough to get an intuitive understanding of the concept and then improvise, and I feel like a fake.

When I have time and I’m methodical, it’s satisfying (better for memorising and studying languages too) but the truth is that I function better when I hit the ground running. I think this society doesn’t like lion secondaries very much unless you’re a shit man. Then is suddenly comprehensible if not appreciated. So I picked a faulty model bird because it’s useful, right? And i like it from time to time.

But I feel like the idea people have of me, about how I act is all bird and it’s stiffling but I let myself go and don’t act in my feels or my thougths because there no reason at all to be myself and I watch myself writing this and wow. Suddenly my mother is telling me why am i not as outgoing as when i was young or my new friends are surprised because my personality changes. Like an onion: outwardly I don’t care about anything, then you discover I’m very intense about lots of things but very nonchalantly (I left clues and you have to pick them, bcs I’m not verbalising you know?), then you never know what I feel about those things except for whatever observation you’ve made. You just know the loudness. My mother tells me I never talk to her about myself, but still she knows how to pick what I feel about people and situations bcs I’m that obvious I guess.

But she was who taught me to think twice bcs nobody wants to feel stupid or wronged (neither do I, I understand). My father never liked who I was; why wasnt I more social, more normal, why did I have to be so strange so openly. (It’s mostly I’m half-sure I fall somewhere in the lower gifted range + maybe some neurodivergence, but in my country they don’t adapt nor care for above average students and a test sounds ridiculous and attention seeking and too expensive when I do fine right now.)

Can’t deny the lion, but I never talk. Except on internet anonymously. Bcs contradictions are funny and you’re really kind. Again, about the start of this megapost. It was so surprising when you saw directly through that ask to the secondary, that I teared up. Yes, yes, that’s who I am why hasn’t anybody told me it’s ok to be sincere and direct? Why?

I was toying with bird and snake but those are covers. Trying to perform snake when I’m uncomfortable or I haven’t got familiarity with the people and bcs it’s improvising it’s easier, and model bird when I can with all knowledge I don’t even notice I have aquired reading what amounts to tons of wish-fulfilling fantasies. Like. It’s posible to burn a secondary? Bcs I think that’s what’s happened to me. And I’m trying little by little to recover that trust in my actions because I know I’m better that way, that I feel good being direct about things but I’m so afraid of others… Perseverance though!!!

This sorting system has helped me see that, more than astrology. Mostly, these last years i had a wrong feeling about myself. I think this helped articulate why. This so maudlin omg xD But you received well my semi-creepy murderous self-isolating primary post so. Sorry again, and thank you.

PS: love to anybody who has ever felt like me. Also, mom is def a badger primary, now that i think about it. She really, really likes working with people, meeting with friends, helping them etc. ended up teaching yoga. She is super direct too, so maybe we share the secondary... which is rich, but also why I think she is also strict that sense. Thinking she doesn't want to see me suffering like her + why i frustrate her when i retreat into myself too. good old projection. THE END XD

My dear Lion ~

You sound like me. And yes, you will be “too much” for some people. But I promise you. There will be others who love you for exactly that intensity. Putting masses of planning and up-front effort into something doesn’t make the end result any better. I’m a badger secondary, that was a tough realization to have. And it’s okay to be afraid. But you seem on top of this. You’re going to be okay.

(also, your English is fantastic. Really, really nice use of the word “maudlin.”)

Good hunting ~ WL

#sortinghatchats #im not sure what to do with these #thank you letter #id answer privately #but with anon of course you can't do that #anyway #lion primary #lion secondary #burnt lion secondary #bird model

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cosmosrival · 4 years

Note

👀 Does Kama like to peg Ash? 👀

u know what... ? u know what ?

KamAsh headcanons (AND NSFW HEADCANONS) time!!!!!! i don’t care anymore i had fun writing the kama*master ones

so have these !!!!! might also become a character analysis and trivia because i cannot stay consistent when im talking about them !!!!

reminder bfore i start: ITS FINAL ASCENSION KAMA. NOT THE OTHERS.

ok we’re good now

i think kama tops by default in every relationship they’re in, but their true strength resides in the fact that they are vers. and i believe that ash is ALSO vers. because flustered kama is a luxury and super cute and delicious and BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT LET YOUR GOD OF LOVE TOP YOU ???? ARE YOU SURE ??? YOU WOULDNT LET URSELF BE PAMPERED BY UR GOD ? ARE U REALLY SURE ?

ash is very cute because he’s gap moe, his respect for parvati shows that he’s not just a rage machine and can very much think normally like ur regular gold hearted delinquent anime boy !!!! god i Love him... anyway, i think he respects kama enough to look out for them and worship them like a proper God!! i believe that ash would call kama things like ‘your divinity’, ‘your grace’ (and if u have some jp knowledge, i think he’d add “-sama” to their name) because they... are god? (i think arjuna and karna also call them like this !! polite mahabharatan warriors are good boys)

since ash never married in the epic, i like to think that it’s because he was very much focused on his duty and ALSO because his participation in the war was out of loyalty towards king dhritarashtra and hastinapur so he was... perhaps planning on getting married once the war Ends ??? HE WAS OUT THERE FIGHTING !!!!!!! but we all know what happened to him (sheds a tear)

anyway i think he’d be a bit of a masochist. (the room falls silent and you all look at me)

SORRY THAT WAS VERY HARDCORE ALL OF A SUDDEN but hear me out, FIRST OF ALL this man was able to endure an immortality curse until lord krishna eventually decided to free him so he’d join the throne and SECOND OF ALL, in his interlude he speaks of looking for ways to repent because he regrets what he’s done. and since we’re kinky over here, i’m gonna throw gentle femdom in the mix bc i think it fits them and its cute. especially because kama is literally the best person he could apologize to. and the only person who’d make his repentance pleasurable (because its their mcfreakin talent !!!!!) even if it technically wasnt his fault, i think his need to atone would just... overpower that and he’ll want to do anything kama wants, just to earn a crumb of forgiveness (without being desperate about it because... HES GOT AN EGO STILL, COME ON)

i like to think that he’s tried to apologize properly before... in a tense moment when they’re both more calm and alone. but kama stopped him because it’d just make things worse. if kama loses the need to have a grudge, will they even be useful as a servant anymore ? would they forgive themself for being so lenient ? forgiving their murderer’s protégé when they havent even had proper revenge ? kamadeva might have been a benevolent god before, but now they’re a lot more malicious (mara...) and this pointless anger would just make them look like an idiot (because servant shiva doesnt exist (YET?)). and i think ashwatthama would understand.

so he won’t say the words “i’m sorry” because it’d just hurt them.

THO WILL HE STOP LOOKING OUT FOR THEM AND SPOILING THEM ? no he will not

kama would find him interesting because he’s perfect bullying fodder but as i said before, it doesn’t work on ash. HE’S A WARRIOR ??? A CURSED IMMORTAL ? DO U THINK THAT PETTY PRANKS LIKE THE ONES KAMA DOES WOULD AFFECT HIM ? “are you bored ?” he asks while they’re trying to surprise him from behind and jumpscare him, without even turning to face them. kama groans in defeat.

SEDUCTION DOESNT WORK ON HIM EITHER AND THATS SO FUNNY but thats where it becomes subtle, he grows attached to them because they’ve gotten used to eachother’s presence (and strength in battle... small things like that). love can be born out of simple things!! blatant bimbo seduction doesn’t work on him but when he comes to wake kama up, and they’re too lazy to get up or float and groggily order him to lean forward so they can hold onto his shoulders so he’ll lift them up when he straightens himself is...

he’d find it cute. they’re cute. when they reach the cafeteria it’s still quite early and he already knows what they like to eat and get their plate ready for them while they’re waking up and yawning. god... they’re cute... its so subtle and cute...

......ok time to be horny !!! (TOMATOES GET FLUNG AT ME)

i think that they’d reach this stage after a while, when kama just gives up on bothering him cuz he’s annoyingly strong (and ganesha is more fun to bother anyway) and since they’re around eachother very often, kama would grow comfortable around him. same for ashwatthaman ! they’re very nice to be around when they’re calm and just chillin.

the only teasing kama hasn’t tried on him is being openly horny and come onto him, asking him things about himself. and ash revealing that he’s never done these sorts of things before (HES A LIL MAD CUZ ITS EMBARRASSING ... DAMN... !!!), i think it’d give kama ideas. I MLAUGHING TYPING THIS BC I DIDNT THINK OF HOW THEY’D COAX HIM INTO GETTING NAUGHTY YET AND IT SOUNDS LIKE A BAD PORN INTRO AHHHHHHHHHHH

ok yeah like i said i didnt think of the coaxing yet but knowing ash, kama could turn it into a competition and make fun of him a little and he’s ready to go. arrogant dummy.

he’s polite but his arrogance is a charm point because he’ll def want to prove himself to the god of carnal love. imagine kama’s reaction when he actually outfucks them.

HONESTLY ? I BELIEVE HIS WARRIOR STAMINA WOULD JUST BE INCREASED ONCE HE BECAME A SERVANT. AND KAMA WAS NEVER A WARRIOR theyre a lavish and lazy god.

BUT THEIR EGO IS WOUNDED and their shocked reaction is cute and ash wants to keep holding them for a little longer

their sessions genuinely feel like hatefucking at first since they’re both weirdly competitive like that but then, guilt hits and kama feels like an idiot because they just came onto someone thats supposedly their enemy??? and they’re a bit distant in the aftermath, they almost... look a little shy.

ashwatthaman isnt beating himself over it as much as they are tho. it felt good, he got to see a new side of them he never thought he’d get to see so intimately and... he outfucked God :) SO HE IS PROUD. but looking at them lying there, breathless and looking all sad worries him. so i can see him leaning forward and spooning them, holding their hand and kissing their fingers and it’s such a soft gesture, kama stutters and asks “Where.. where did you learn to do that.” and seeing their reaction, Ash blushes as well and explains that he saw his father kiss his mom’s hand once???? AND ITS... SUCH A CUTE AND OBVIOUS REASON. kama feels dumb for asking but it makes them chuckle.

and i think seeing someone who constantly looks so tired and depressed, have a genuine little chuckle would melt ash right there. i think he’ll want to see more.

AND FROM THAT POINT ON, i think kama would also get used to this... intimacy they start to share. when he wraps his arms around them he always hugs them in this protective way, as if he wanted to shield them from something. and when he holds them like that, they always feel the need to wrap their legs around his waist, hide their face against his neck and Allow him to cuddle them.

they both have an ego u know aha. so if u openly ask them about eachother, they’ll get embarrassed and shut u down. IT’S... IT’S NOT LIKE THAT (sweats)

it is. it is like That.

ANYWAY THEYRE BOTH VERY VERSATILE and ash is pretty much into everything kama could teach him about. like i said earlier, he’s also fine with being manhandled, mostly the feeling of kama’s nails gently pressing against his skin, or being bit. i think he’d be into getting a lil feral.

a mutual once said that sexually liberated ashwatthama is hot as hell and i feel it in my bones.... kama coming onto him after a particularily short mission that got ash angry but not enough to let out some steam --> they get pounded into the mattress and they live for it because riling him up when he’s like that is actually really fun.

OBSESSED WITH THE BOTH OF THEM SLOWLY SEEING IT AS A GAME AFTER A WHILE...

OH ash bottoming is also very cute. his first times would be awkward but kama is a pro at this anyways and i’m finally going to answer ur ask: YEAH HE GETS PEGGED !!!!! he finds out how excited he gets when kama calls him a good boy !!! and he never knew that he was into these sorts of things but holy shit it feels nice.

when kama gives him his first blowjob he almost loses his mind

what i really love about kama is that they can see how tense he gets, even if he’s having a great time, and i know they’d teach him how to relax. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE RIDING HIM, they’ll massage his pecs and his shoulders, set the pace and squeeze down on him just to hear him moan. stare at his surprised little face because he didn’t know he could make THAT kind of nois e ? ? ? ? ?

HE’S EMBARRASSED but he doesn’t want them to stop

OH YEAH i wanna come back on the whole masochist thing (I GET SNIPED), him getting repentance and being punished through sex is both very liberating and hot as hell, especially when it’s kama. ashwatthaman moaning ‘your divinity’ like it’s a prayer is also hot as hell !!!!!!! IDK i just think that they can both get very intense, and also last a while, until they’re thoroughly SPENT.

...and leave room for softness. kama gently brushing his wet hair behind his ear, leaving him breathless and a little shy. they then lean in to kiss him and he immediately melts into their touch. but then they bite his lip. and he ... he Likes it but he could almost pout.

time to get a little angsty (i lock gazes with you) i think that after a long while of sharing such a relationship, ash would almost say The Forbidden Words in a daze. and kama deeply kisses him so he stays quiet. and they’re just staring at eachother, until kama tells him that he’s not allowed to say it. and if he does, it’ll almost be a betrayal towards shiva AND themself. they’ve grown impossibly close but neither of them can say Those Words because they both feel like they’ll break something.

also bc they both have huge egos.

but i think that deep down they really want to say them.

another variant of this is kama wanting to make him admit it, have him say Those Words. but because of his blessing and respect towards lord shiva, he cannot. both because of the guilt and that it’d end up feeling like a lie, even if his touches, his kisses and the way he looks at kama screams otherwise.

BUT REE WHAT ARE THE FORBIDDEN WORDS

"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" Hercules (1997).

is this enough of a clue ;;);)););;;))))))) HAAHA

THEY HAVE SO MANY LAYERS TO THEM ITS UNREAL

anyway shower sex hot !! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i also think that them mutually jerking eachother off is hot as all hell and ONCE AGAIN, flustered ash who doesn’t know what he’s doing (at first) is cute !!!! cute !!

ashwatthaman LEARNING from kama is also a big fave. they’re abt to bathe in kama’s luxurious bathtub they had master buy for them and they’re removing their earrings and he silently leans forward and bites their ear and suddenly their face is red. god. huge dummy god of love. i love them soooo much its unreal

THEIR DYNAMIC IS BASICALLY.. I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE but still look at eachother like they’re newlyweds everytime they get intimate and (sheds a tear) i think theyre super married

GOOD GOD .......BODY WORSHIP IS SOMETHING THEYRE BOTH HEAVILY INTO ALSO. both giving and receiving, even if kama is a lot less obvious about it and a lot more smug.

oh, i think ash would be the loudest between the two !! THIS ONE WAS OBVIOUS. hearing him like that would also coax kama into making more noise as well so its win-win

ok to be honest i think i should draw porn of them being soft like... THERES DETAILS I HAVE IN MIND THAT ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO WRITE DOWN IN THE HEADCANON FORMAT and i’m too nervous about writing fics (looks away) but i have things to draw.

ANYWAY I THINK THIS GOT VERY LONG ????????? SO IM GONNA STOP HERE. IF U MADE IT THIS FAR: THANK U FOR LISTENING TO MY BRAINWORM !!!!

#answered #ree's fgo hcs #lemon #kamAsh #ashkama #there u go !! both tags just Because

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aangfanclub · 4 years

Text

s3 ep5: the beach audio & transcript

here’s the link to our audio reaction + transcript under the cut!! this episode was SO chaotic we had to pause it just to process like 5 different times,,, I had no idea that what I needed in life was a fun beach episode with the emo crew but uh. I really really did

First of all who are these guys in the intro? Are these past avatars? I am intrigued

Also what would’ve happened if another nation had been attacked what would they have done

Also uh DISGUSTING we hate zuko/mai in this household

Oh right almost forgot zuko hired an ASSASSIN. The drama

They really have just a lake house somewhere?? They’re such rich kids dfjskljs

Is this just fun times at the beach episode??? (abby: i could be into it)

“It smells like old lady in here” sdkjfsjkalk ZUKO

Sdjlks they said booty bump

Me: this truly looks like the worst kind of vacation ever

Abby: the WORST b&b

Sjkfdls mai COVERED HIS EYES WHAT

Really aang?? Waterslide time???

Are they at the SAME body of water sjkdflkdf

Me: are they sharing a telescope?

Levi: not as bad as sharing a corn cob

Me: WE DROPPED THAT SUBJECT

Dfljkslkd is this just the everyone’s in bikinis episode

Lollll ty lee knows how to deal with boys

[we have to take a second and comprehend how zuko found a garbage seashell laying on the ground next to him and decided it would be a PEAK romantic move to pick it up and hand it to mai like WHATTT JSDKSLFD ZUKO WHAT]

“Why would i want that” SDJKFKSLD MAI OMG SHE JUST ROASTED HIS WHOLE THING

They are all So Dramatic i can’t handle it

Dsfkjls zuko why are you trying so hard??? Mai literally sucks

[we just scream during the whole volleyball scene. We are losing our minds.]

Azula said DISMISSED she didn’t say break she said DISMISSED

Abby: imagine if theater kids were also jocks. That’s what they are. Like troy bolton

Levi: did you just compare zuko to TROY BOLTON

CHAN AND RON CHON JDKLFSDLK WHATTTTTT

I’m sorry,, the most important teenagers in the fire nation?? Is there a ranking?????

[azula gives off “not wanting to be a princess” vibes and abby and i start quoting barbie: princess & the pauper involuntarily]

Zuko why did u literally have to hire an assassin like. My dude.

Fdksjlsskl dusk till dawn AZULA NO

Me: azula really doesn’t know how to chill out

Abby: another reason i hate her

Wait HOLD ON HOLD ON DID AZULA JUST TRY TO MAKE A JOKE???? Are you trying to tell me that all of this drama is just azula not having social skills???? This is just how she relates to people are you kidding?

Abby: normally we love a hair down friend but i’ve gotta say hair down azula is Not It

Jsdlkfs azula is like,, if adora from spop was evil. Like. neither of them know how to chill out

[abby: who’s adora?

Me: it’s from she ra

Abby: oh. Isn’t that the one that also has a girl named katara?

Me: HER NAME IS CATRA FSJDKL LIKE A CAT

Abby: yeah like katara with a c :)

Me: NOT AT ALL]

Dskjfl omg zuko get a grip my man jealousy is not a good look on you

GJFKSLFDJSD TY LEE ACUPUNCTURED ALL OF THEM IN PANIC

Azula stop being mean to ty lee!!!!

“You’re right about all those things” AZULA FDJSKLDLKSA

[abby and i remark that it’s true that you just have to laugh at whatever a boy says to make him think you like him. Levi pauses it and has a tiny existential crisis wherein he wonders if any girl has actually thought he was funny ever]

I’m ready for a tour azula what????

THAT WORKED SJFKDLA AZULA WHAT

DFJKSDSLJLKDF TOGETHER WE WILL DOMINATE THE EARTH /AZULA/////

Why is this episode making me like azula actually??? This is so funny sfdjhgslk

THAT FOOD WAS FOR MY CRANKY GIRLFRIEND Z U K O

Zuko just flicked that guy into the WALL?????

Mai u gonna break up with zuko?? ZUKO????

Me: how come zuko gets bullied everywhere he goes?

Abby: how come he’s not wearing shoes?

Levi: yeah let’s ask the real questions here

Oh is it time for an angsty walk on the beach?

Abby: remember when zuko had a ponytail?

Me: remember when zuko had a MOM?

Abby: SHUT UP

Hair down sokka? Hair down sokka hello?

Me: hair down sokka is 80% more powerful than ponytail sokka

Whattt,,, WHAT who is this guy how is he doing that??? Is he shooting lightning from his BRAIN????

Wait are they gonna bond on the beach? Is it bonding time?

“I’m gonna make a fire” zuko you guys can ALL make a fire

Levi: did someone get a gun finally?? This is what happens when someone gets a gun

Me: give it to momo

Ugh i just want zuko to get redeemed already

Hgnnhgh every time aang slams into something i get those steven universe feelings of when we found out he was breaking every bone in his body :(((

[intermission where levi swears it looks like toph is looking at something and abby and i have to remind him he’s just stupid]

Ohh zuko why are people being mean to ty lee today???

Dang,, the trauma’s really coming out tonight huh

Fsdjkls you’re gonna lecture zuko abt bad skin???

Levi: do you think his scar gets pimples?

Ohhhh babe,,, he’s angry at himself oh honey :(((

Wow!!! Growth!

Me: this is like thursday night at church camp

Levi: YES! Like thursday night specifically!

Me: yeah they really just had a therapy session

Abby: yeah but they were so mean to each other and nobody said anything uplifting and then they just pretended that it was nice and it WASNT

What??? Why are they wrecking this guy’s house WHAT?

This episode did not feel real. What was that?? Just a therapy session??? WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE

I had to cut it off at the end bc it turned into like 7 minutes of us arguing about the ethics of sharing a corn cob again so. If u want the Forbidden Audio maybe i will release it one day jdsklsd

#liveblog

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anthonyo1234 · 3 years

Text

Life Journal 4

Life as a Hispanic is something that will be told for many generations and it wont stop anytime soon. Everyone will hear many stories about how the Hispanic community has endured and overcome many great challenges and road bumps. And with the internet being a bank of information, it isnt like the stories that have been told will be lost forever. We share many things and that story gets passed around and around until it has reached enough people. While this may not involve the internet, I do remember a story that my mom had told me before about what I did as a little kid back in DR. My dad was in NY when this happened. But, I essentially broke out of my house and wandered the streets looking for my dad. The first time this happened, my mom forgave me because she honestly felt bad. Who wouldnt have their heart strings stretch if they heard that story. But the second time, I got punished for it. Safe to say that it was not one of my bright moments. But, I was a kid. So, I didnt know better. Anyways, Hispanic culture is something that will never die and live on. It is historically engraved into the lives of everyone. Sadly though, a lot of our history lies in darkness. As most people know, Latin America and the Caribbean has been colonized before and a lot of the aftershock of colonization is still being felt today. It also influenced the culture of those places into things that are seen today. But even so, history can be a cruel mistress. I remember one time that my grandmother told me a story about Trujillo. For those that dont know, he was the dictator of the Dominican Republic since the 1930s. His reign ended in 1961, where he was assassinated. During his reign, she has seen many horrors of that man and the many deaths that happened. Trujillo was essentially what would have killed the Dominican Republic if he wasnt killed eventually. She describes those times as hard and nearly impossible. I remember that she said that most houses needed to have a picture of Trujillo in their homes. The authorities would also do as they please. He also just raped women left and right with no care in the world. As my grandmother told me this story, i felt disgusted. How could the island elect such a monster? Turns out, the US placed him there. The US forced DR to place Trujillo i power as a puppet state. Thinking about it now, it makes sense because the US has done stuff like this for many years. And not just in Hispanic countries. The US has placed puppet governments all around the world, essentially shoving its influence down everyone’s throat. Though, some countries denied such thing. Now, the Dominican Republic is better off. It is actually thriving for the most part. Though, it still has its share of corruption. Moving on, I feel like our way of life is just something that we are proud of. Dominicans are many things. One thing that stands out the most is that we are very prideful. I have not met a Dominican that isnt prideful. Now, that is not to say that Dominicans are the only ones that have the most pride out of all the Hispanic countries. But, they will show their love for their island in a lot of ways too. Having pride for your country is typical of a person born there, It means that they are a true patriot to their country, just like how many US citizens are patriots to the US. We are proud of being Dominicans, and by extension, Hispanic. The reason for that pride is because we have gone through so much historically, economically, racially, etc. Not as much as others though. But, we have had our share of pain. I remember going back to the Dominican Republic a few years back. As we drove through neighborhoods and the outskirts of the city, i noticed that there were houses that looked inspired by English designs. You can see that there are some parts of the structure that is directly influenced by modern design and old school as well. Some houses are one floored establishments and some are two floors. If i am being honest, I love the designs of these houses because they are basic in nature. They are big enough for a family to do what they need to do and they also have another purpose. Because DR is near the equator, the island can get extremely hot and humid. If there was building that were created like the ones in NY, people will suffocate. So, they were built big in order to allow air to circulate through the house and dissipate the heat or cool air elsewhere. But for someone to even create such a thing, they would have had to have gotten some sort of education on the arts and construction. Unlike in the US, who have a lot of schools that teach students how to be an engineer, the people of DR, have to find their own way of teaching themselves how to do things. And man, are they damn good at it too. Most of the constructed buildings are done by people that have not gone to school. At least, buildings that are not high rises or important buildings, Those are mostly reserved for those that actually have gone to school and are qualified. Speaking of schools, I have had many good and many bad memories of school in the island. There was one time that I was just playing with a friend of mine at the time. We sadly disappeared from each other’s lifes after we passed third grade. It was at that time when I moved to the US. Anyways, we were playing when these bullies came up and did their bullying. Most kids just let it happen. But, I didnt. I was one of the rare few that would fight back. But because they were bigger than me, there would be no way I would win should the fights be prolonged. But it was around that a teacher would come and separate us. And the good part? I never got in trouble for that. They knew that I was a reserved (still am) kid and always kept to myself. The teachers felt that they wont see me as a trouble maker. And they were right. I have always felt that life as a Hispanic person has always been something that I find pride and joy with. The reason for that is because I am part of a culture that can have a direct influence on the happenings of America. We fought to have the same opportunities as those that are citizens while some of us were either immigrants or undocumented. Though, we can all agree that those that are undocumented are the ones that are fighting a lot more than the rest of us. They want to make sure that they can have a future and also provide a future for their kids. It is important that there are opportunities for us all because that is how we can succeed. Sadly, the US has made things a little tough for us to get the same opportunities. A lot of businesses dont like the idea of Hispanics being part of their team. While others welcomes them with open arms. Hell, a Hispanic person might even create their own business if they play their cards right. And that is what makes us special. We deal with what we got and make it work. Eventually, we can even win with the cards that we are dealt with.

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aidenoes · 3 years

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Im kinda bored so this is a little story time about a toxic best friend i had for many many years

Tw : s*lf-h*rm, s*icid*l thought, forced coming-out

To make the story easier let's call her Fish.

So... it started in primary school, i had moved out into a new city when i was in 3rd grade. That's when i first met her and we never really talked much. Then came 5th grade when we actually became friends.

And middle school happened and that's when everything went downhill real fast. In 6th grade i was still friend with her and i tried to get along with her other friend who was a bitch at that time, and i was too, so we never got along (even tho she is now my best friend bc we realised how much Fish was toxic lmao). So i had made new friends and she had too but we still made up over time and the other girl wasn't hanging out with us anymore.

Moving on to 7th, there was a new girl that came at the school at the beginning of the school year (who is also my bestfriend, props to her for staying with me all these years) and Fish immediately started talking to her. Eventually we have a group of 5 friends :me, her, our boyfriends and the new girl. The thing is that there was a trend of s*lf-h*rming yourself just to pretend to be depressed and sad, and Fish was one of the people who followed that trend. Me, being an absolute idiot, had no idea of the gravity. Well, i mean, i knew it was bad but my bestfriend was doing it so it's fine right ? No, it was not and i almost gave in to but i was afraid to harm myself so i never did. And that example is just to show how much i copied her, i destroyed my relationship bc i wanted to be like her and my ex-boyfriend was so good to me. Her relationship was like an light switch, you never knew when they were back together or not. We also had a skype group and messenger group of just three people: me, her and the new girl. Me and the new girl would badly roleplay and she would tell me, and only me, that i was cringy and leave the group chat like that. And i had no right to tell her i didn't like something about her, but she could though ? I let it slip anyway. I thought i was really happy, then came the worst year of my school life.

8th grade. At this point, Fish and her boyfriend had broken since he apparently abused her (im not sure since she is prone to lying) but i was still in good terms with him. Well we were not the best of friends but i wouldn't punch him (now i would bc he became such a fucking dick). But Fish started to become distant, as if she didn't want me around anymore but i ignored it thinking it was all in my head. One day, our teacher assigned us new places in class and i was next to her ex-boyfriend. We of course talked in class and laughed together. But out of nowhere, she started doing the sign where you slit your throat with your finger, y'know ? I thought she was doing it for kidding and i was just really confused, it was break after that class anyway so i can ask her wtf that was. She came to me and thought i was plotting against her with her ex-boyfriend and just told me to go fuck myself basically. I waited for my now ex-boyfriend and my friend to come-out of their class and explained to them what happened while containing my tears. They tried to go to her and try to understand wtf went wrong and funfact: nothing went wrong and she was just being a bitch and i later learned she just wanted to move on and discard everything from the past year, including me. But i didn't know that, i thought i broke everything, i thought i broke our group friend, i felt guilty and i felt, alone. My boyfriend that got out of school just before me went to my mom that was there to come pick me up, that i wasnt really well and he went away when i got out. My mom did ask me what was wrong and i told her that i'll explain when we're home. At home i explained everything and broke down in my moms arm, i dont know if i cried out of anger or sadness, but seeing me cry was enough for my mom to hate her with all her guts. I've felt so lonely after that. I had no one to eat lunch with, i had no one to be in group in class with and i had no idea of how to occupy my brain when i had no one to talk to, i read in the morning waiting for the friends i had left, i would draw whenever i had to wait alone and i would eat fast to get out the fastest possible. I also lost everything i was since at that time i was like a sponge of personality and just squeeze out whatever the personality people wanted out of me. I had lost everything and i didn't want to be here anymore, i just wanted to die honestly. And i think i wouldve if i didnt think there was my family and my friends. However, it does not end here ! Bc my dumb ass made so many more mistakes ! Bc one day in our technology class i had to work with her for an assignment and we gradually made up until we became friend again, but i was still wary of her and my s*icidal thoughts were still very present. So i was still very toxic and pushing the people that were there for me away. My boyfriend broke up with me. I didnt know what to do, but looking back this was such a good decision for him and for me. I am so thankful for him to have broke up with me, but at that moment i was a bit hurt but at the same time i saw it coming so i had so time to grief about it. A month later my mom decided to bring me to Mauritius (where she is from) bc she thought i had a hard time no having her around for the first time which is kinda true but not all the truth. I had no wifi and no way of contacting anyone. That was so refreshing ! That's when i started to understand that i had the right to think for myself first and not be a fucking carpet for everyone to walk on. I was not out of the shit but i started to understand how to get out.

9th grade, was my savior. This was the best year of my life with nothing to worry about except an exam at the end. You remember the girl in 6th grade that was a bitch ? Yeah we became close friends during that year bc i realised she was a bitch bc she was badly influenced on in 6th and 5th grade. And the new girl remember her ? That's also the year when we got close, the year where we became best friends, when i learned to be and love myself and the year when i started to stand up for myself. I have some bad daddy issues and i have almost always shared my problems with Fish but i started sharing less toward the end of 8th grade. One day i was complaining that i had to be basically the messenger bird of my parents and she looked at me annoyed and tell me 'why don't you go to the police ?'. Like we didnt ??? Like she thinks that my dad was harassing my mom and we didnt ?? That's basically saying 'don't be' to someone who is sad. And i explained that to her and she was like 'don't complain to me if you're going to flip off like that when im giving you a solution', excuse me bitch... what ? I was hella mad. She came fake apologising like a few weeks later. And one day she came out to me as pansexual, great for her, and i was also questionning my gender and thought i was genderfluid so i came out to her. She was like 'oh ok' and i sent her some memes about genderfluidity and she was like 'stop this is annoying'. So i shut my trap. I also learned that during a school i didnt went she faked some anxiety and was being a bitch bc her friend wouldnt come to a shop with her even so another one was ok with going with her. I eventually started to understand that she was bad for my mental health, so i just started ghosting her bc i just didnt want to talk with her anymore and i didnt know how to confront her. She came up and grabbed and pulled me by my backpack that was full of shit just to ask me why i didnt answer to one of her text. I was so scared i just told her i wasnt feeling well and just told her i needed time. The year went by it was great and i didnt want to be in cold with Fish but i also didnt want to be her friend, i wanted to just be classmates, however when she was told this she understood : 'they want to be friend again'. So she clung with us next year.

10th grade, was last year and was full of drama. And we only had 6 months of school. 10th grade is the first year of highschool and the only year where we don't have an exam. I also had a forced new friend that we're going to call Taz so we don't get mixed up. She was also very clingy and it felt like having a leech stuck to me. And Fish was being very, let's say embarrassing and making us feel uncomfortable. She would make ton of sexual joke and we told her it was making us uncomfortable but she would apologise just to do it again the week later so we just gave up. She also outed me in class, thankfully the class was really noisy and only my bestfriend heard it but this fucking bitch just asked outta nowhere 'so you're still on this whole thing about being genderfluid or what ?' And she wasnt talking low, she was talking loud and clear. I felt so embarras and i hoped that no one else heard it. I answered as very quietly 'no.. i think im genderqueer now' and she just said ok. That's also around when i discovered im bi so i was so glad that i didnt tell her about that. And a few months later there was some shit going around about bullying and Fish was one of the targets. And let's say that our english teacher held up a trial so i opened up my big ass mouth to talk and defend Fish. And guess what, Taz just blurted out that i and my best friend were bullying her. Excuse me ? I defended her ass and when i talked to her about it she told me 'no you didnt, you just yelled at me once in physics'. So bc i yelled at her bc she wouldnt listen to me when we had to work i bullied her ? What a thank ! And when i tried to talk it out with Taz, she fucking ignored me and left. I was enraged. I was crying out of fucking rage and still aced a test in english. At the end i explained everything to my crush while i was walking home with her bc she lived next to my moms restaurant. When i stepped into the restaurant, there was my moms friend, which im kinda close to, and my mom who asked me how was my day i cried out of anger. They comforted me and supported me. At school, one day the assistant director called me and my best friend in his office. And told us that in highschool there are no bullying only misunderstandings (i dont really agree with that but anyway) and asked us our side of the story. We explained that we didnt get along with her anymore and made it very clear that we were uncomfortable with her but she wouldnt take a hint. And we left the office just like that. The assistant director probably told Fish our side and she never went to talk with us bc of covid.

Now, im in 11th grade, we do not talk anymore and this feel so much better. Now i'll just drop some bonus drama

She accused me of drowning her when it was her ex-boyfriend that did and made her scared of water, while i was there to support her when she was dealing with her phobia.

And her mom thought that i was a bad influence for her sweet sweet daughter when she was the one to incite me to c*t myself like paper, wow ok.

This is just a personal share and just maybe a way for others to recognise the toxic behaviors of fake friends.

#story time #toxic friendship #toxic friend #have fun reading this #i am still mad sometime #but only sometime

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truthbehindthemysteries · 4 years

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~I Will Always Catch You~

A/N” One shot fic request: Fainting in Enobaria’s arms.

_________________________________________________

People knew very well not to underestimate Enobaria for how much a beautiful mysterious danger she was. - After all, she had not only a reputation for how she was the victor of the 62nd Hunger Games but the fact that she had f a n g s – teeth filed sharp enough to resemble deadly incisors. Anyone who got to close would see how intelligent, blunt, dangerous, fierce she was. No one knew she had a heart of gold deep down. No one knew she could be soft, gentle and vulnerable. Except you. Everyone loses a piece of themselves to these vile games that prey on the lives of young children , forcing them to fight to the death until one one them remains standing, bathed in riches that others could only dream of. All at the mercy of a capitol who punishes them for others long ago committed.

You and Enobaria were in a close relationship. Growing up in District 2 { one of the wealthy districts who are close to the Capitol in wealth, loyalty, etc. }, You two had been best friends whose mothers were best friends, father's worked together. You two went to the same school and could go to each other about anything. Well that was of course after the fact that she stood up to a bully for you. You had something happen to you that gave you an injury that needed time to heal, someone had made fun of you and wouldn't seem to stop. Enobaria being … well, herself? Formed a fist and landed a punch so strong to the boy's jaw that he had to have surgery to get his jaw back in place. A dangerous serious process that if went wrong, he would never be able to use his mouth again and have to be fed through a tube.

Not long after that, sexualities were questioned and accepted but you two are together, happily in love, each other's rock when the other wants and needs even if they might not realize it. Anyway, it was the morning of the day where You, her and the other victors of previous games would find out the next tributes for each district for this years Quarter Quell. Now remember when I said that these Games take a piece of someone. It isn't something you can get past after all, just a young child thrown into dangerous situations and made to fight, hurt, k I l l other scared ones like you, hardened into little soldiers by ones older using you for their own greed, for their own e n t e r t a I n m e n t. Ones meant to love and care for you, protect you and keep you safe. Lets just say that you like anyone else had developed PTSD and panic attacks. There you and Enobaria were, sitting on a luxurious couch of a house you two shared together. Soon enough, President Coriolanus Snow himself showed up on the screen and started to speak,

“Ladies and Gentleman, this is the time in which we will begin the 75th Hunger Games, where specially, we'd also have the Quarter Quell.” Anywhere around, people had their eyes glued to the screen, you and Enobaria among others who watched with bated breath, not out of excitement like some might by unease, a want to get this over with and try to live life the best possible in p e a c e. As if that could ever be completely achieved in the world in which they lived in. Amongst the cheering, President Snow continued,

“It was written in the charter of the games that every twenty-five years, there will be a Quarter Quell. Now on this , the 75th anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion, we celebrate the third Quarter Quell.” A drop in your stomach seemed to happen as you started into those eyes shown on the screen, you had a bad feeling about this. Not that you didn't seem to have them at times and always turn out to be right but those cold eyes as they addressed the nation, seemed to stare into the souls of everyone he made suffer. What you heard next was enough for you to intake a breath, rushing to your head resorting in a dizziness that had you fearing the idea of standing. You just might collapse, others would cry and unleash anger.

“As a reminder, that even the s t r o n g e s t cannot overcome the power of the Capitol. On this, the third Quarter Quell game, the male and female tributes are to be reaped from the existing pool of Victors in each district.”

You could barely focus on Enobaria's hand tightening in yours as she arched upward to look into Snow's slow smirking face with a look so murderous one would shiver and fear for their life. Feeling the beginning of a panic attack, you felt the pain as it got harder and harder to breathe. It came out in pants as you tried to calm it, slipping your hand from your girlfriend as it clutched at your chest. Moving forward on your knee's , you fell to the ground in front of the couch, your hands at your fall. Your body felt numb as you tried to catch your breath, panic inside your body like the rapid fluttering of a hummingbird's wings.

Immediately you heard Enobaria yell your name then you felt her arms encircling you as she helped you the best she could to get you back to reality, to her where it was s a f e. “Y/N!”, came her serious worried voice. A strangled choked up noise seemed to happen, not even realizing it was your own tears spilling down your cheeks, voice not able to form the words they so badly wanted to express. Eyes blurry with wetness, you felt her cup your cheek, “Y/N, sweetheart, look at me please. Come on, show me those beautiful eyes.”, she began to slowly and gently speak. You looked up weakly at her as she wiped the tears from your eyes, seeing love for you in hers despite the anger she was feeling, the murderous anger that was barely contained. You really were her anchor bc she would put it aside so long as you were safe, happy and alright.

“How could- I thought that we- that's not su-”, you tried to speak but you would choke up, cough and tear, your voice would crack. She rubbed at your shoulders, shaking her head from you trying to speak more. If you continued to get out of control with your breathing, your heart would only race faster. You were weak and dizzy enough, she didn't want to see you pass out bc if you did, that wouldn't be anything good. You were relatively good with taking your anti-depressants but bc of the ptsd that you had experienced from your own games – you often had nights where you woke up screaming, where you would flinch at any beginning of violence, anything that reminded you of all that you went through like anyone else and you would be inconsolable. The only ones who could manage to bring you out of it IF NOT Enobaria were any of your family still around.

“i will not let anything happen to you, I promise you. You know I have always stood by that. Try not to think on it now and just lean on me baby, im here and I am never going to leave you. Breathe with me.. come on , that's it.. in and out.” and she started to do it with you as your hands remained comfortingly and gently on you as you kept your eyes on her, intaking a breath and releasing it after holding it for a little bit, getting air back into your lungs. Making your body go back into a stable state, you and her stayed like that for what seemed forever but may have only been a half hour, hour? When it seemed like things could be okay at least for the moment, you felt her arms around your waist, her hands clasping at your hands tightly “Come on, lets stand okay, lemme get us some water.”

You nodded, afraid to speak, any moment you felt like you could cry. Not just from anger, so much anger it could rival your girlfriend but unlike her, you didn't have fangs that could sink into another's throat with enough strength to rip it out, causing the unfortunate person to choke on their own blood and die. Maybe thats what Snow deserved. You felt your hands balling into fists at the mere thought of how someone could be so heartless, without remorse or pity. It made you sick to your stomach and you had enough of those kind of feelings what with having panic attacks. Hoping the water would help as it sometimes did and should, you kept your mouth shut, not wanting to spill any contents in your stomach onto your clothes and the floor as Enobaria helped you stand.

Still feeling slightly dizzy, you almost wondered if you should say something but you urged that you dealt with this before, feeling weak and dizzy. You only ever fainted if it got really bad and always someone was there. The only times that someone wasnt was a rare occasion but any unlucky person who came upon you with dark intentions would regret it, you were so protected. A darling of District 2. As you made to follow her into the kitchen, everything went black as you fell. Unconscious to the scream as Enobaria immediately caught your fainting body in her arms, worry on her face as she gently tried to shake you awake but only receiving no answer from you.

Not wanting to immediately jump to conclusions, she held you protectively in her arms as she went about the process of getting you medical help, refusing to leave your side. For those who suggested, one glint of her fangs in the light was enough for them to hold their tongue lest they want it ripped out. While they did the work to help you, she in a corner not to far from you , paced back and forth, w a I t I n g until she saw your beautiful eyes again. When you finally did flutter your eyes open, it was after the doctor's left you both to have some privacy, telling Enobaria that the reason you had fainted was not only from a possible slip up in taking medication, dehydration and stress, they advised you get plenty of water, rest, stay active in the medications and do anything relaxing to get rid of the stress. Maybe start talking to someone, it could help get the stress off your shoulders, as they say.

Once the door closed behind them, your { e/c } eyes seemed to flutter open, your lips parting to crack , “en..” you coughed, “enobaria?” She immediately rushed to your side, sitting down beside you and taking one of your hand in both of hers. “How are you feeling? “ she ended up scoffing, “Stupid question..” she looks at you, “i'm right here.” You smiled weakly, memories of what happened flashing before your eyes and tears started to well up. Immediately sensing the change in your, she cupped your face, 'Keep calm for me babygirl, im right here. Whatever happens, it's you and me always right? As we promised.”

Your heart raced but you forced it to slow, to even out and calm yourself down. You slowly nodded, clenching your throat as you swallowed, “Forever.”, you muttered softly, lovingly, with no hesitation. “Scoot over.”, she muttered as she stood, moving to remove the blanket a little from you. You weakly tried to move, an adorable frown forming on your face as you looked up at her, “Won't they sa-” She shook her head as she lied down beside you, gently pulling you into her arms so you could cuddle into her, the blanket over both of you now, “Just them try and stop me from holding the woman I love.”, You felt butterflies in your stomach, she was always so good to you – what did you do to deserve someone like her, Enobaria, the fierce badass everyone was scared to come into contact with but realize there was another side to her. A good side so worthy of the truest of loves, something you two found together. Like a home. She caresses your face, making you look at her, as if you wouldn't choose to willingly anyway,”

“Wherever you go, I will follow if you wish and anytime you fall, I will always catch you.”

You nodded, closing your eyes as you felt her arms encircle you more, holding you against her chest and your two’s legs entangling together under the blanket. Resting your head against her chest, you and her breathed together, your eyes closing shut once more and hers following suit not long after you. At some point you would be discharged to be able to go home but until then? You would find peace in the arms of the woman you loved. Everything would figure itself out one way or another. One day Snow would realize the wrongs for which he has done and pay for them accordingly. Taking one day at a time, you would make sure that you would be okay, that the ones you loved would be okay.

You would always say that you never deserved someone as fierce and dangerous as Enobaria who was sweet and romantic and cuddly deep down but truth was maybe it was the other way around with her feeling she didnt deserve you. Sometimes people didnt even approach her for the reputation she had but you weren’t like the others, You didn’t treat her like she was a monster to hold at arms length for fear of being ripped apart. You broke down all her walls and made her f e e l. She could never thank you for that, having someone as angelic as you but every rose has it’s thorns and she knew that together, you two could accomplish anything. Not just the best but the worst of times.

#warning: medical #warning: panic attacks #enobaria #the hunger games #hunger games #soft fluff #angsty sadness #one shot fic requests

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lunarkat87 · 4 years

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It's been so long since I posted to this blog. I guess I stopped when I lost touch with my best friend who was like a sister. I've been wishing I could talk to her for guidance for so long, but I had to let her go for myself. She was attempting to push a guy on me when I wasn't ready, and purely so I would have a reason to move back to our hometown. Didn't she remember how bad that place was for me? I was homeless for nearly 4 years, bouncing between places, never secure, just surviving. Every time we talked I could feel my energy depleting, but she was my best friend, so why would I leave her? She was getting married, so naturally she was focused a lot on that, and I was meant to be her maid of honor. And as the MOH, it was my job to stand up for the bride, and to get the bridal party in order. So when I saw how much they kept hurting her, and how she was more sad about her experience as a bride than happy, I stepped up to the plate. Me, the girl terrified of her own shadow on some days. But I did it, and she called me her only friend, and her other bridesmaids did not like it, so they ran to her.... and she called me a bully. It was in that moment that my heart was broken, that she could think I had bullied people into something. She was ultimately my soul mate, we were meant to be in each others lives... and suddenly I was reduced to this one word. And all the pain, all the hurt I had over the years preceding this came pouring out, how she guilt tripped me, how I needed her and she wasn't there, how just because it wasnt what she wanted to do she didn't stick to plans with me. How she blew me off time and again, and how she stopped seeing me and I always had to travel to see her. And it was done. And what broke my heart more was the relief that I felt after I sent her an email. I loved her, so why would I be relieved? But as I write this today, I wish I could talk to her. Because she was and has always only ever been, the person that understood me. Who understood my heart, my mind, my emotions. Who helped me heal from my ex-fiancé that cheated on me. On the days I felt like giving up, and not being able to see through the blinding pain she was there to support me. She sent me quotes, she texted me every day, she made sure I was okay. And she always knew deep down I wasn't, and she was okay with that. She didn't expect or need me to be. And I wish I could have her now, because as I write this that fragile heart that I had finally fixed, has broken and shattered all over again.

You see, I met a guy. It had been 2 years, and I was ready to open myself to the idea of love again, especially because I realized I did not love my ex anymore, nor had I for a long time. I had tried dating in between those years, but it never felt right, or like I was ready. But after spending time on my own and feeling empowered, I downloaded a dating app. But it wasn't long before I began to dislike it, I don't like judging based off of pictures, and only a few words. I was feeling discouraged, maybe I wasn't ready... but then the app pinged for someone they thought I might like. I saw him and thought, wow he is handsome, he has a smile that I could melt from, and.... was that a racoon on his head?? I had to know, and so I hoped he would respond. And there began my downfall, because he did.

We spent an entire week texting, and I found myself eager and smiling at my phone. I was actually excited, and couldn't wait to meet him in person. We even came up with nicknames... he was Cinna-Ron because he asked me if I thought he was as sweet as a cinnamon roll... and he was, but even more so. My heart pounded as I waited to meet at the boba shop where he would pick me up for our date. And when he finally arrived, he was even more amazing in person. And he brought me burgundy colored carnations, it was that moment I knew I'd love those flowers forever. He opened my door for me and was a true gentleman, and when he leaned in to kiss me, I felt the world slow and my heart stop. All I could think was "wow~" we spent the whole night together, talking and kissing and flirting and I was convinced I had never felt more alive. And so began my hope.... that evil, snaring, soul crushing light..... the hope that things would keep going well, and that he felt the same way. To my excitement he did, and it was like I had known him forever. I was so unbelievably happy, and excited, and absolutely terrified. Because deep down I knew he was going to break my heart.... and so I ignored all of my alarms, my instincts. "Run away, he is going to hurt you" "don't let him in, keep him at a distance" "this will only lead to pain" and I could feel my heart shake from fear... like it knew it wouldn't survive another fracture... but I stood my ground, I was going to fight myself and trust for once, because he was nothing like anyone I had ever met before. He made me feel safe, he was why I took so long to come back, because I wanted to give him a real unicumbered chance at loving me, instead of pushing him away. I was happy being alone, I was content with myself and who I was, but I wanted to share it.... so I let him in.

Not long after I began to have health issues, an excruciating pain developed in my abdomen that I never found a real answer for. I hurt my wrist at work, and was in a minor fender bender that hurt my upper back. I was in my last year of Nursing school, and so the stress began to overwhelm me and I started overeating again. Before I knew it I was 30 pounds heavier.... but worst of all the darkness started creeping back in.... here was my depression again.... and crippling anxiety.... it began to be too dark to see any light.... I failed 2 exams in my last semester.... but I still had hope and light because he was there. Reminding me I was smart and I could do it.... and when I opened up about my mental health, I told him I would understand if he didnt want to stay because he didnt sign up for that... and he told me he wasn't going anywhere.... and so I had some hope to hold onto.... because I knew the real Kat was in there still, but the world was piling it on and I was suffocating, and he was patient enough for me to get back to me again. A week later he changed his mind.... he decided he couldn't "reciprocate as strong of feelings" for me as I had for him. A polite way of saying he doesn't love me, and knew he never would. And just like that, hope was gone....

Did I imagine it? The last 8 months? Was I really the only one who fell in love? Did I misread all of his actions as just really strong like and not love? The only reason I was open about my feelings towards him was because I genuinely believed he felt the same, his actions spoke louder than his words, or lack thereof. And I said I would wait for when he was ready to say it back, because I wasn't going anywhere and he made me believe he felt the same.... little did I realize he had one foot out the door from the start of our relationship. He thought the feelings would grow but they never did.... so when he smiled at me and held me close did he feel nothing? Was there not a fire roaring in his chest for me? Did not every fear and care melt away? Did the sound of my voice not send a thrill through his heart? Did he not look at me and feel pure happiness? What happened? What went wrong? What changed? It was me. It had to be me. Why else would he decide this now? He couldnt see the girl he first met anymore, I was a whole new person to him and he did not like what he saw or how he felt with me. And so he decided it wasn't "fair" to me if he kept me because he couldn't "reciprocate as strong of feelings."

Ultimately I don't believe I ever really had a chance with him, because he kept me at a distance emotionally. I realize now he never truly opened himself to me, and when he saw how serious, how real a relationship with me could be. He chose to run instead of opening his heart to being hurt. So you know what, maybe I do deserve better than that. I deserved the person he made me believe be was, he started out all in but I didnt realize he had that foot out the door, especially after I told him those three words. He has an idea of what he thinks love is like and how it's supposed to last, but doesn't realize that love is different each time you find it. He always told me he loves love, so why didnt he want the love in front of him? I think he still holds his heart for the one girl he ever really loved. So he'll never find what he is looking for because each new person he brings into his world, he never really gives a chance to, they'll never fit that mold. How can he expect to love someone, if he doesn't allow himself to? And yet, here I am... still wondering why I was not enough.... it's never enough.... and so I've closed my heart to love permanently. Because I can't stand this pain.... I feel so tricked... and so betrayed... the only quote befitting this is by Bob Marley "The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her." How do I trust love if it ever comes again? Because what I mistook for love from him, was apparently nothing.... how do I trust actions now? How do I trust myself? And how did I mean absolutely nothing to him? Why am I the only one hurting? How was I so blind? I was foolish to believe someone like him actually loved me... it never crossed my mind that he didn't... he never made me feel otherwise.... I hate this. But what can I do? He'll never regret this decision, that isn't like him. Why would he regret leaving someone he doesn't love? He'll never miss me, for the same reasons. I can't make him love me if he doesn't. I'll be a fleeting thought for him, but for me he'll always be that maybe. I'll always find myself wanting to talk to him, wishing I could be with him. And if he ever does find love, I'll likely envy that girl. Because she must be something truly special to awaken his love... so I'll go back to finding myself. I'll try to finish school amidst this chaos in the world, become a nurse, buy a house with a backyard for my dogs. And be content knowing that I don't want love, I don't want this pain. I reached for too much happiness and light, and so the universe has ripped all of that away from me, reminding me that I don't get that kind of contentment. School hangs in the balance, still unsure if they will be able to continue due to Covid-19. The man I thought loved me is gone, and my love with him. That bright shiny future I thought was waiting this year is gone. So now I'm lost to wander alone. But this time I choose to be, because this pain isn't worth my sanity, or my life. I'm tired of surviving, I want to live.... Goodbye my sweetest of cinnamon rolls... I know you'll never see this... but I hope you know the love I felt was real...

03/19/2020 2220

#love #i love him #heartbreak #painful #bob marley #boyfriend #breakup #loss #goodbye

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