#so why is it so fucking hard to do it

[depresseddepot]

sitting on the floor with all of my maladies on flash cards so I can figure out which of these motherfuckers is making me unable to do anything anymore

#this post is for the hahas bc i KNOW the culprit is adhd. it always fucking is #i KNOW i can form habits. i know i can #one day it just fucking snapped and i started going to bed and waking up at the same time and i never looked back! #so i know its possible #hey google how do i weaponize my autism against my adhd #going to start holding the adhd at gunpoint #gotta wrangle it like a wild animal that hates you but not even a cool one. like wrestling a small and stupid bird #gritting my teeth this is supposed to be a funny post but i am going to start biting things #i want to be clean. i want to have a clean space. i feel so so so much better in a clean room. i even ENJOY cleaning #so why is it so fucking hard to do it #i just need some peace and fucking quiet

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[danggerine]

going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down

#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in #i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again #he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why. #the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection #she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway #is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel #tlt #harrowhark nonagesimus #palamedes sextus #katie don’t look #ntn spoilers #htn spoilers #gtn spoilers

[hollytree33]

Just Shivana (I think I’m in love with her)

#my art #can’t force myself to put color on anything lately rip #shivana lavellan #dragon age inquisition #dragon age #dai #lavellan #dragon age fanart #the sylaise vallaslin is so #fucking hard to draw #I love it but why #why do I do these things to myself #I remember when I gave her this one and I was like #the full sylaise vallaslin is so cool but I don’t see it so often so I’ll give her this one #I was so innocent then #I know why now

[heartorbit]

WHEEEEEE

#project sekai #pjsk #prsk #emu otori #i drew this insteabd of payong attention to class. Sorry. #And am posting it while i wait for the bus. I ha e sleey disease #SLEEPY. #emu otori from um . fortntie #Rhebusihesjehr THE BUS IS HERE BYYE #edit ok im back waiting for my transfer BROTHER. THE ANNIVIERYUAEYH it got me so fucked up prsk you crazy son of a gun #I THINK THE NEW OUTFITS ARE RLLY CUTE MIKU SOOOO KITTY #im almost done with all of my commsni dont think i will open them again this semester. or next. summer. Im sho tired #my assignments r fun but theyre like big. Theyrbe large #my prof said he was gonna make us make fur/sonas for an assignment hut didnt want to get fired. dont be a coward #proseka autism is killinng me i cant lie WHY IS DARKNESS FESTA TIERING SO FUCKING CRAZY #IVE NEVER EVER SEEN THE 10K CUTOFF REACH A MILLION POINTS ON EN. USUALLY WE SLACK SO HARD. COME ON #im so sleepy and have things to do please sotp it AND CURTAINCALL IM GONNA BE SICK I CANT TRHJNK ABOUT IT

[dredgesnails]

stardew valley au where joel and skizz are new residents to pelican town (hermit town?). joel just inherited a large farm from his late grandfather and skizz is moving in with his old friend after reconnecting with him and wanting a fresh start. and the townspeople are like, kinda weird.

bdubs is fine enough - he’s a sweet man with a fun personality and he’s the local builder, but it’s almost frightening how fast he constructs new buildings when joel needs them. pearl, their resident postmaster, is also pretty normal other than the fact that skizz never seems to be awake early enough to catch her delivering mail. scar is lovely but he’s never available when joel wants another chicken. the mayor, xisuma, is pleasant too, if a little eccentric at times, but he doesn’t really seem to do much in town.

for the most part, skizz is settling in well. he’s moved in with impulse, who runs the local blacksmith in town, and he gets along well with most of the local townspeople. he’s started spending his evenings at the local saloon listening to ren regale the patrons with fantastical tales while he and stress serve up food and drinks, and he finds himself growing close with cleo, the local sculptor. he even gets a new wardrobe from hypno free of charge, and sometimes helps cub out with his totally scientific studies and creations.

skizz also joins forces with beef (who helps to supply the local general store that xb and keralis run) in terrorising the local manager of the corporate chain grocery store that no one likes. doc is a terrible manager but would make a fun supervillain (according to joe hills, the bookseller who appears once in a blue moon but seems to know doc more than anyone in town).

joel, on the other hand, seems to only be interacting with the strangest residents in town. he discovers the adventurer’s guild after only a couple weeks, and is only somewhat irritated by iskall’s refusal to pronounce his name correctly. false promises to give him prizes if he can kill enough monsters, which is not something joel had expected to be doing when he pictured farm life, but here he is. he stumbles upon a travelling cart one day, and the man inside insists he’s a knight from a faraway land, that he risked his life to make it all the way here to sell his wares. it’s all stuff joel can get cheaper elsewhere.

he’s pretty sure the local doctor has no real medical training, but then he passes out while fighting monsters and he wakes up completely fine, so zedaph probably knows what he’s doing. maybe. when joel isn’t passing out he sometimes makes trips to the library-slash-museum, which is probably almost completely empty because mumbo, who begs joel for anything to display, looks like he’s never fought a duggie in his life. eventually mumbo gives joel a key to the sewers, which are way cooler than they have any right to be, and that’s where he finds jevin’s secret sewer shop. jevin lives in town. he just also has a shop hidden underground. joel has stopped asking questions by now.

and then there are the three who live by the beach. etho spends most of his time tinkering around the fishing hut or hovering around bdubs, but sometimes he drives the bus to the desert. only sometimes. there might be something under his mask. no one knows for sure. gem runs the fish shop most days and she claims she’s a sailor, but joel has never seen a single working boat around despite all the ocean. she can also hold her breath underwater for an uncannily long amount of time, like, scarily so, and will sometimes disappear for a few days and return with an abundance of treasures. joel has never seen her leave by boat. grian fishes a lot and runs the shop when gem can’t, and he sometimes talks as though the sea can speak to him. skizz has caught him staring into space for extended periods of time. one time he waded into the water and just stood there, head down, muttering to himself.

apparently there used to be a lighthouse but “it’s gone now”. gem says if they ask bdubs nicely enough maybe they can build another one, but she and grian are banned from build requests after the last incident with their pet snails (joel has never seen the snails, but scar complains about them enough to convince him they’re real).

there also might be some kind of wizard who lives in the creepy tower in the woods. skizz has heard he’s the one who helps maintain the power in the valley, and joel’s convinced he hallucinated seeing him once until he recieves a letter from the wizard himself, and visits him only to find that the strange fire-creature he saw that one time was, in fact, tango, who is human for the most part, he just sets himself on fire sometimes.

#some of these ones probably suit them more than others sorry if u think ‘he woukd not fucking say that’ #unfortunately i do know some of them way less than the others #so i’m going off general vibes i get from them + what i think would be fun #it is SO HARD!!! to fit 27 people into stardew roles. especially when i didnt include the desert or ginger island #the desert and ginger island are actually populated by friends of the hermits but thats for another post #if anyone wants elaboration on why i chose certain things for people i would be happy to #hermitcraft #geminitay #grian #smallishbeans #pearlescentmoon #zombiecleo #rendog #gtwscar #impulsesv #skizzleman #tangotek #falsesymmetry #iskall85 #mumbo jumbo #ethoslab #bdouble0 #hypnotizd #welsknight #xbcrafted #keralis #cubfan135 #stressmonster101 #vintagebeef #joe hills

[bruciemilf]

I wonder how many times Clark and the batkids + Alfred revived Bruce with the Lazarus Pit and just never told him abt it

#he pieces it together later but i mean. its so hard for him to miss now that hes looking back at it #like why is he always always always cold with a turtleneck on and heating blasting #why is his appetite so scarce? how come his sleep deprived body withstands hours - sometimes DAYS - of patrol #and functions perfectly? how come time passes by but he stays the same? why wont clark and dick stop giving gim #*him looks of loving grief? #why does harley slam her fists on her head when she sees him? ' no no no you're gone. you're GONE. I KNOW you are!' #why does selina smile at him with such heavy pity ' sorry bruce. i don't do ghosts' #bruce wayne #dc #dc comics #batman #batfamily #clark kent #dick grayson #jason todd #bc they def exclude the cloning. they dont want another bruce. they want THEIR bruce. tim #like can you imagine jason getting up in tim's face and just ' if you're not gonna stand by us then stay out of our way' #dark bruce? tired. dark BATKIDS? sign me the FUCK up #batdad #text

[lobotomyladylives]

Actresses being tortured on the set by male directors is a massive historical and present day scourge of the film and TV industries and it's really SO common when you look into it. like from Kubrick terrorizing Shelley Duvall (and only her) on the set of the shining to Tarantino strangling Diane Kruger until she passed out to Hitchcock replacing fake birds with real birds after Tippi Hedren rejected his advances (in order to scare and physically injure her as a punishment for not fucking him) to James Cameron almost literally drowning Kate Winslet to an actress on GOT being waterboarded ten hrs straight to get like a minute of footage to Brando improvising an unscripted rape scene on the last tango in Paris set with the directors permission that ended up traumatizing Maria Schneider (in fact quite a lot of the gratuitous, graphic rape scenes in film were included for the sadistic pleasure of the male directors at the expense of the actresses).

The list goes on and on and I could seriously talk for ages about how revolting it is that these men still have active careers bc the industry just tolerates it. No piece of art is worth inflicting this disgusting and unnecessary abuse on actresses (and it's ALWAYS the actresses isn't it, never the actors. Hmmm wonder why). We call these men auteurs and geniuses but they're really just pathetic abusive sacks of shit. I want to impale every male director who behaves like this and I want their rotting corpses displayed as a part of the universal studios tour.

#the excuses ppl use to defend them are so pathetic too. ''oh they just want to draw out the best performance'' BUUUULLSHIT #1) if that was true why is it only actresses being abused #2) how come other accomplished directors dont do this but still manage to make great movies. perhaps bc its TOTALLY UNNECESSARY #male directors are as a whole some of the most demented individuals in all of showbiz & thats saying smth #as a wannabe director myself it makes me extremely sad bc its so hard for a woman to break into directing yet men like this still get to #make movies and continue being psychopaths to their actresses??? fuck off

[ikarakie]

hopper sees steve as a surrogate son. really, he shouldn't make such a habit of picking up stray children, but he looked at harrington and saw a kid who just... needed someone. saw the vacancy in his eyes when he thought no one was looking. saw the police file, the noise complaints and the few reports from hawkins middle school about suspicious bruises that had been swept away. saw a boy who'd seen too much. who just needed someone to lean on.

so he tries to be that. offers the kid a hand every now and then. keeps an eye on him, all alone in that big house, after everything. after '83 and then '84 and then summer of '85, when he'd signed his medical papers because there was no other adult for him around. it always left him a bit hollow, but he told himself that it was okay as long as he was around. as long as steve knew, deep down, that he could come to hopper for help, even if he'd wait until he was on the brink of overload before doing so.

it's all this that makes the sight of steve's car, that brown beemer that had dropped his daughter back home so many times, pulled into a ditch with the lights off cause his stomach to sink. a million awful things come to mind as he pulls in behind it and quickly hops out of his cruiser.

had he seen something and spiralled into a panic? had he gotten a bad migraine? had he run off into the woods alone?

thankfully, he finds the best case scenario: a slightly flushed and dishevelled steve rolling down a foggy window. grinning like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar when he realises it's just hopper. he's fine, he's in one piece.

what's not fine, however, is the person with him in the backseat. eddie fucking munson, a kid hopper's put in handcuffs more than once. not because he's another boy, who gives a shit about that, but because it's eddie munson. drug dealer, general troublemaker, and definitely a bad influence on his boy.

he does his best to save the judgement this time, sensing the fear emanating off the couple. tells them to be more careful, to go home and kiss or do whatever there instead in case anyone else drives by tonight. munson looks at him like he's grown a second head, (which, fair. usually their interactions go a lot less amicably than this) and steve just tears up and nods. he reaches in to ruffle the boy's hair, ignoring the protests, before reluctantly trudging back to his car and driving away.

he calls steve the next afternoon and gets him to confess that, yes, he is dating edward 'eddie' munson. no, it's not a fling. yes, they're boyfriends, god help him. he gripes about it a decent amount, because really, steve? that one? you picked that one? but he keeps the tone light enough that steve feels comfortable enough to defend eddie's honour amidst laughter. within a week he's got steve sat across from him, eddie by his side looking two seconds away from shitting himself.

"well, boys." he grins, cracking his knuckles. eddie watches. gulps. "let's have a little chat, shall we?"

#then hopper gives eddie the shovel talk HARD #eddie is losing his shit because FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY DID STEVE NOT TELL HIM THE CHIEF OF POLICE (WHO FAMOUSLY HATES HIM) IS HIS MAYBE DAD #steve is just starry eyed that an older male figure cares enough to do this for him #hopper ofc decides steve 'can keep eddie' as long as eddie is on his best behaviour #also because hes never seen steve as happy as when hes looking at eddie so hes gotta b doing smth right #(he thanks eddie for this and the guy cries bc wtfwtfwtf) #steddie #stranger things #prompt #imagine #steve harrington #stranger things prompt #eddie munson #steddie fic #steddie prompt #steve and eddie #jim hopper #steve and hopper #eddie and hopper #dad hopper #steddie headcanon #steddie hc #dad jim hopper #protective hopper #established steddie

[montanabohemian]

honestly, the people bitching about an objectively insane episode of wwdits are SO BORING. it's just a silly little comedy about some idiot vampires that live together and commit atrocities in new york. like what is so difficult to comprehend about that.

of course lazslo would create horrifying animal lab experiments that can talk that guillermo has to take care of.

of course nandor and colin are besties.

of course nadja makes 50 dunkin runs for a crazy lady.

it's just a weird show that is outrageous and funny and sometimes carries an emotional wallop. it's not fucking rocket science.

#wwdits #wwdits s5 #wwdits spoilers #what we do in the shadows #i just #was it the best episode of television i've ever seen? no. #was it the worst? no fucking way. #it was just ... INSANE #absolutely batshit crazy #and sometimes that's fine #stop assuming everything has to be ~prestige television~ or it's bad #like that is a TERRIBLE way to consume media #anyway it was weird and silly and colin and nandor having a besties moment just HIT SO HARD #and like y'all are so pressed about these frankenstein creations that you're forgetting NEW NANDOR LORE DROPPED #LIKE WHY ARE HIS CLOTHES AND DIARY AND HIS MOM'S NECKLACE IN A FUCKING MUSEUM #HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #PAY ATTENTION LOSERS #edit: HAHAHA OHMYGOD WHY DID I SAY NEW JERSEY #sorry i didn't realize i even typed that

[haunted-xander]

I guess old feelings don't disappear that easily

#thinking about her always and forever #trauma isnt easy to overcome and even if/when u do its not like it just leaves #rynes so used to living in anothers shadow that figuring out herself must be hard #especially when its interwoven with the complicated relationship youve had with the person you cared for the most #like ryne clearly looked up to and cared for thancred deeply even when he was fucking up #a big part of why she was struggling so much the entire time was because she wanted thancred to care for her as HER #and not just minfilia reborn #but she couldnt really see herself as anything else and thancred had his Whole Deal going on #so even after things get better and their relationshop mends itself #shed probably still have some fears about the whole situation #like what if im just a replacement still? #and such #okya thats enough ranting. im so Normal about her ok im the Normalest ever. #ryne waters #thancred waters #minfilia warde #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art #xander being insane about ryne

[aanthonyvb]

More poto Italy inspired stuff

#I ask again why is remembering stuff so hard #it’s drawn from memory few hours after seeing the performance #as you can see I’m a huge sucker for ramin so I didn’t do him that dirty #well maybe a little #poor amelia tho #I should have looked up a reference for her :’))) #anyway it was super fucking cool if you couldn’t tell #the graveyard scene is still stucked in my head #fucking angel Erik really? #not that I complain #poto italy #erik poto #poto fanart #phantom #poto #phantom fanart #erik phantom fanart #phantom of the opera #the phantom of the opera #ramin karimloo #phantom of the opera fanart #christine daae #fanart #so much hashtags aghhhh

[rotomicity]

TGCF art from 2021 which were very experimental and very much something out of my comfort zone but am still so satisfied with

(gonna ramble more under the cut 👉 )

My main inspiration for these were definitely classic storybook illustration styles and the watercolor-like illustrations included inside the tgcf books which depict hualian's daily slice of life routines as seen below

I wanted to capture that feeling of warmth i got from reading but i also went with the storybook look because their relationship (and by extension broad strokes of the entire plot) really did feel like something out of actual myth or legend; i'm chinese indonesian and was raised surrounded by chinese culture + values so tgcf felt VERY familiar to me, it threw me back to my childhood reading or listening to tales about chinese deities, i'd say the storybook image definitely came into my mind pretty quickly bc of this

I find this style somewhat hard to replicate now but if i could or have the time to, i really want to continue the 'companion pieces to chapter titles ' concept i did with the last 2 pieces (which are of the same chapter title but i was just indecisive 😭😭), i even had 3 more planned based on my favorite titles before burning out back then

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #hualian #hua cheng #xie lian #mxtx #danmei #rotomic does artz #IF YOU READ THROUGH ALL OF MY RAMBLING THANK YOU VERY MUCH #as you can see i am Very Normal about this book :) #(said like a liar) #what was 2021 me cooking....like why did they go so hard on these #also bonus hozier in there bc i associate hualian with like real people do a lot #tbh a lot of hozier songs would work for them #i REALLY want to do a companion piece for chapter 243's title bc wowee #it still gets me to this day. i remember it n suddenly im like what the fuck (fond and sad)

[good-advice-ganondorf]

#rest in peace vaati you swept hard #also genuinely can someone explain the appeal of master kohga why did he do so well #loz #tloz #the legend of zelda #ganondorf #ganon #majora #twinrova #vaati #zant #bellum #Ghirahim #yuga #master kohga #uncle rupee #no fucking way he's included in this #not good advice

[blueskittlesart]

finally started my character design final and it's a 3-phase video game boss and protagonist so of course i had to go BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE. here's my first pass stay tuned for more bc this is like a 5 week assignment

#im going to crit on these sketches in 3 hours and i just checked the class google drive and NO ONE went this hard im about to look so crazy #anyways :) the prompt i was given was 'demonic swamp' so this is a fishing sim in which you have to fish demon fish out of the demon swamp #and the final boss is of course the swamp demon. who used to be a regular human woman #but she girlbossed too close to the sun and got possessed and then subsequently possessed the entire swamp. lmfao #ANYWAY. wish me luck i think my prof is gonna be like why the fuck did you do this much on week 1 #skribbles

[bimb0-brat]

Instead of any sex toys, I want someone to tie me up and bring out a tool box. Use vice grips to squash my tits. Clamp my nipples and skin with pliers, stick a screwdriver in my ass. Use a drill against my skin. Shove a hammer in my cunt and make me stand up until it falls out of me, and punish me for it. Use a wrench and hammer to bruise my body. Stick as many allen keys in my cunt as you can and watch them all fall out. Shove all the little drill bits in my cunt and ass and punish me if i cant push out every single one. Make me fuck every handle of every tool and then lick them clean for you. Keep me in your garage and make sure i intimately know every tool you own..

#r@petoy #cnc roleplay #use me use me use me #r@pe kink #bd/sm slave #mas0chist #object insertion. #hard k1nk #bd/sm dynamic #bd/sm blog #this is why i love older men hehe #also i have fucked tool handles before their shape is so good omg #literally perfect for fucking #this is kinda the only fantasy i cant even do to myself...