#sorry for the rambles in the tags I promise sometime I’ll stop posting about this and get back to fandom but rn I’m Having Trouble

[chosonore]

part one | oblivion

oblivion [noun. the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening around one]

pairing: kamo noritoshi/f!reader

summary: your relationship with noritoshi was like a game of cat and mouse; no matter how hard you tried to escape from him, he would always find his way back to you.

wordcount: 3.9k

content/warnings: friends to enemies to lovers, language, noritoshi is kind of a dick but i promise it gets better so please don’t lose faith in him, we’re not strictly following the manga timeline bc while i am reading it, i do have a goldfish brain, lowercase intended

a/n: hello, here’s the first installment of my sanguine series! it’s the prequel of this drabble (nsfw) i wrote the other week while i was working on the outline of the fic. it’s a little slow burn because i wanted to spend some more time exploring their relationship and the groundwork for it, so yeah. i’ll try to update it regularly, but since i’ve only planned five parts for sanguine, it might take a while bc i want to take my time with it. if you want to stay updated with the series, i’ll post the masterlist to it shortly! i do hope you enjoy it though :) and stay safe, everybody! [tagging @sukirichi​ the sukuna to my yuuji, who just gets spammed when i start rambling about my aus but always screams with me (´• ω •`)]

masterlist - next 

"y/n!" you look up to see miwa storming towards you, thrusting a book in your direction. "could you- could you please give this to noritoshi? i borrowed this book from him like a week ago and if i don't return this anytime soon, i think he's gonna kill me." 

scowling at her, you look at the book in disdain. you wanted to avoid crossing paths with noritoshi as much as possible and miwa was well aware that you didn't like hi- 

"please," miwa pleaded again, taking your hands and placing the book in it. "i'm really scared of him. he always looks like he's going to shoot me soon. even todo is pretty nice if you don't interrupt his takada-chan time!" 

you sighed in annoyance, you just couldn't say no. ever since coming to the kyoto metropolitan curse tech, miwa and you had been pretty close because you strongly disliked the other students. most of them were arrogant and stuck-up, thinking they were better than the other; the two that belonged to the three clans were even worse. on your first day here you'd promptly gotten into a fight with mai, disliking how haughty she was and trying to prove everyone that she was better than them. much to your chagrin, the fight ended in a tie.

"fine, but you owe me some mango," miwa's face lit up in relief and she gave you a thumbs up before dashing to her room, most likely to escape noritoshi's wrath. you inspected the book. was it even worth returning it? maybe you could just throw it in the trash. if noritoshi ever found out, he'd kill miwa first and then you. you let out another sigh before making your way towards the training grounds. he most likely was outside to practice, either with one of the guys or alone. as you were nearing the training grounds, you could already hear the sound of arrows whistling and the dull thuds of them hitting the target. it was hard to spot him through all the trees; you weren't entirely sure where he was. your ears perked up when you heard him release another arrow until you realized that it was heading your way. this bastard. fortunately, you were able to slash the arrow clean in the middle, angrily pointing your sword in his direction. you still couldn't see him anywhere.

"you fucking idiot! you could've killed me," you snarled, stomping deeper into the forest. an amused laugh echoed through the trees. 

"you're acting like i can't control my arrows. it's not my fault you let your guard down," noritoshi retorted smugly, lowering his bow as he saw you approaching. you were fuming, hurling the book at him. how dare he? you watched with satisfaction as it hit him square in the chest - who was caught off guard now, huh? he deserved it anyways. 

"miwa asked me to return your book," you curtly explained and turned back around to leave but apparently, noritoshi had other plans. instead of saying anything else, he just followed you which unsettled you even more. 

"stop following me." 

"who said i was following you? i'm just going back to the dorms. i'm sorry you can't handle me being near you."

you whirled around, sword pointing dangerously close to his neck. he smirked at you triumphantly, it was just too easy to get a rouse out of you. "another word and i'll cut you, seriously. you're pissing me off," you gritted your teeth, hating that you always fell for his stupid games. he knew you all to well, what made you angry, what made you happy, what motivated you. once upon a time, you'd thought the same about him; until he changed so rapidly, so unlike your expectations. you were worlds apart and yet you'd reserved an ounce of hope that he wouldn't turn out to be as arrogant as the clan heads. swift as the wind, noritoshi grabbed your wrist, dragging it upwards and towards him until he could lean down to you. your heartbeat sped up - holy shit why was he so close to you - and you froze in shock. 

"i'd like to see you try, princess," he whispered in your ear, the grip on your wrist tightening. "you wouldn't dare to."

the first time you met noritoshi, he was sitting outside in the garden with his mum. both seemed to have a good time. noritoshi's hair was tousled from the soft summer breeze and he had a soft smile on his face, happily munching away on the snacks that were displayed on the table. while he looked friendly enough, you were wary of meeting and talking to him because you felt kind of queasy around the kamo family. you couldn’t quite place a finger on the feeling, the older members of the family intimidating you to no end. much to your dismay, you felt like you had to be watchful - your parents worked for the kamo family, so naturally the apartment you lived in was close to the estate. you avoided any run ins with the adults, they weren’t exactly friendly to you. noritoshi’s mum had befriended your mum and they spent a lot of time together when possible. and yet you’d never met noritoshi before, seeing how busy he was with his various classes.

the fit that you threw, not wanting to tag along with your mum, was long forgotten when you’d spotted the jar of cookies on the table. before your mum could react, you pulled your hand away from hers and quickly ran towards it. “hello miss!” you greeted enthusiastically, your eyes shining at the sight of the sweets. “my name is y/n! i’m here with my mum and i uhm… could i have some of the cookies? please?” when your mum finally caught up to you, she scolded you quietly and greeted the other two, taking a seat beside noritoshi’s mum. you pouted, immediately climbing on her lap as you refused to sit next to the boy. his mum handed you a cookie which you happily took and thanked her politely. noritoshi was curiously eyeing you; it wasn’t often that he saw other children around his age and he didn’t have any friends to play with. his everyday life revolved around reading books, studying, taking archery classes and sometimes spending time with his mum. noritoshi barely even knew what fun was - he’d only ever felt at peace when he was around his mum.

“y/n, sweetie, why don’t you go and play with noritoshi?” your mum prompted but you immediately shook your head, hiding your face in her chest. she simply laughed and shook her head, brushing your hair back softly. “come on, noritoshi is really nice. you can be his friend one day, right? didn’t i tell you that friends are important?” 

you frowned. then huffed. when she worded it like this, there was no way you could refuse. the cartoon that you religiously watched featured a group of friends that went on adventures and helped each other out. you’d told your mum that you wanted to be like that too! begrudgingly, you slid off her lap and trudged towards noritoshi who looked at you with big eyes. you held your hand out, waiting for him to shake it. “my name is y/n. uhm… nice to meet you,” you shyly whispered, eyes darting away from him. 

it took a while until noritoshi reacted, shaking your hand gently and answering: “hello y/n, i’m noritoshi.”

much to your surprise, noritoshi was actually fun to be around with. he showed you his collection of books, the bow that he was practicing with and you often played the card game you’d received for your birthday together. he was smart and witty, often explaining you things that he’d read in a book but he was also attentive when he listened to you ramble about the other kids in school or when you told him about the cartoon that you were watching. for you, noritoshi was becoming your best friend - for noritoshi, you were his first friend. he cherished you and how unabashedly true to yourself you were. spending time with you was something he looked forward to; you always made him laugh and you didn’t care whether he lived up to the kamo family name or not. to you, he was simply noritoshi. you were like a fresh breeze of air in his life.

noritoshi didn't quite understand why the elders were always so hard on him, so strict and unrelenting. they expected only the best results from him and didn't show any understanding when he exhausted. he didn't enjoy practice anymore, the lessons becoming a chore and burden on his mind. but whenever he saw your face light up at his newly acquired skills, he thought it was worth the trouble. you came to visit him everyday after school, never skipping a day. sometimes he questioned why you weren't visiting your friends from school but you shook your head, poking his chest indignantly. "you're my best friend, 'toshi. of course i'd want to spend more time with you." noritoshi was glad you always chose him, without fail.

even though your parents had always warned you to be careful around noritoshi because his family was strict and didn't like outside influences distracting the heir, you never really strayed from his side. noritoshi didn't have any other friends, who would keep him company or listen to his troubles then? you didn't understand why your parents were suddenly going back on their word. they'd always told you that family and friends were important. you couldn't pinpoint your feelings for him - but your parents saw it. it was obvious; the stars in your eyes when you looked at him, the slight blush on your cheeks when he complimented you and how happy you were when you got to spend time with him. the more time you spent with him, the more they were worried for you. 

"'toshi!" you yelled in excitement as you ran towards him, waving wildly. he dropped his bow and turned to you, a soft smile gracing his lips as he opened his arms to hug you. you squeezed him tightly. two weeks you hadn't seen him due to a school trip after which you got sick and weren't able to leave the house. you'd missed him a lot and you were excited to show him the souvenirs you brought him. 

"look, i bought you an omamori!" you handed him the small object, then pointing on your bag to show him the one you'd bought for yourself. "i got myself a matching one too! my teacher said it wards off evil spirits and brings you luck." noritoshi's smile was bright, so bright. he was happy you thought of him and were always kind to him. your eyes widened as he leaned in to kiss your cheek before thanking you. the two of you were blushing, neither saying a word but not minding what had just happened.

the day noritoshi's mother left the estate was the day you were slowly starting to lose him. noritoshi grew more forlorn and didn't seem to easily find joy in anything anymore. the departure left a deep, deep gap in his heart. it had shocked him deep to the core when she left him. him. why couldn't she stay? why did she leave him when she was the only person who protected him, loved him? she did say that she was hindering his growth but who was she to decide that? he didn't want to become stronger, didn't want to protect other people like she'd told him to. he wanted to stay with her. "'toshi? 'toshi!" a concerned voice broke through his trance, pulling him back into reality. "i asked you a question! you weren't even listening to me." 

you were pouting at him, tugging at his sleeve impatiently. noritoshi apologized, patting your head to soothe your temper. "what do you want to do in the future? mum said it's important to work towards your dreams!" you asked him curiously, grasping his hand to hold it. the gesture filled him with indescribable warmth, drawing him in like a moth to the flames. "my mum said i have a special power, i can heal people! i want to become a doctor in the future, so i can help everyone that got hurt," you explained to him so earnestly that he felt bad for the lie he was about to tell. noritoshi didn't have big dreams or ambitions just yet. he didn't even know what would be suitable to him - he was strictly following orders, never allowed to think for himself. 

but when he looked at you, he only had one wish. "i think… i think i want to help people, protect them. especially those that i love."

with each year passing, you noticed that noritoshi was putting more and more distance between the two of you. at first you'd brushed it off as the stress of his training and number of classes he was attending. but as you spent less and less time together, the weight of the situation didn’t escape you. he was easily irritable, cold and arrogant, often rude towards employees of the kamo estate. every now and then when you’d scold him for being an asshole, he’d simply scoff at you and haughtily ask you how it was any of your business. you sighed, tossing and turning in your bed as you thought about how much noritoshi had changed. it kept you up at night, just thinking about how he wasn’t your ‘toshi anymore. you didn’t know this person. ‘toshi was always gentle and kind, he tended to overthink many things and sometimes he was a little bit of a crybaby but you still loved him regardless. you sneaked out of your room, finally mustering up enough courage to ask your mother for advice. the thought of her discovering your blooming crush on noritoshi was scaring you. your parents were wary around the kamos despite working from them - even more so ever since noritoshi’s mother left and the elders had free reign over her son.

“noritoshi! noritoshi, stop walking away from me! hey, i’m talking to you!” you yelled frustrated as you were trying to keep up with him. noritoshi was crossing the garden in long strides, it was nearly impossible to stop him as you couldn’t catch up to him. you lunged forward, getting hold of his sleeve and tugged him back harshly. noritoshi yanked his arm out of your grip, glaring at you annoyed. 

“what do you want from me? i have better things to do than to quibble with you,” he hissed irritated. you couldn’t believe him, he had the nerve to dismiss you like this when he was in the wrong? 

“you know exactly what i want from you! you can’t just go around and talk to people like you did before just because they’re not from a reputable family! noritoshi, you’re not any better than them just because your last name is kamo.”

as much as noritoshi scared you, you stood your ground. you knew he didn’t take you serious, not with the amused look he gave you. in the past month or two, noritoshi was suddenly hit by a growth spurt - you barely reached his shoulder now and he took advantage of that to mock you, often treating you like an armrest. he pat your head condescendingly, pouting at you in fake regret. “aw, did i hurt your feelings? did i make itty bitty little y/n sad?” he mocked you, before abruptly grabbing your cheeks to make you look at him. “i don’t care what you think of me, cry all you want. i strongly suggest you hold that sharp tongue of yours if you know what’s good. know your place.” 

tears filled your eyes; noritoshi had never talked to you this way. what has gotten into him? your heart broke in pieces, unable to take the pain any longer. you were no longer his equal but below him, much like everyone else.

“mum?” you cautiously knocked at the door of her study, waiting for her response. your mother was most likely still awake and dealing with paperwork like she usually did. upon hearing the affirmative noise she made, you flitted inside, closing the door behind you so your father didn’t catch any wind of this. it was already embarrassing enough and you were sure your mother could offer you better advice. you gingerly took a seat on the armchair, grabbing a pillow and hugging it close to your body. how were you going to approach this? hey mum, i have a crush on noritoshi and he’s weird to me now and i don’t know why? uh yeah mum, i caught feelings for the guy you warned me about and now i look like a fool crawling up to you like this? 

“it’s about noritoshi, isn’t it?” your mother interrupted your stream of thought, spinning her swivel chair towards you. 

“huh? oh no it isn’t, why would it be? i have-” 

“y/n.” 

“ugh okay fine, maybe it is about him,” you sighed defeated, of course she would look right through you. she always seemed to know what you were thinking, even when you hadn’t confided in her before. “but promise me you won’t judge me!” the look in your mother’s eyes told you that she was going to judge you regardless but you knew she meant well - she simply wanted the best for you.

“i- i just don’t understand why he’s been such a pain in the ass lately. and he’s been treating everyone like dirt too, including me! mum, he’s becoming someone else and i… i don’t know what to do,” you sniffled inconsolably, wiping at your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater. she wasn’t supposed to see you getting emotional. “he’s always busy and when we do get to see each other, he doesn’t want to spend time with me. what if he doesn’t like me anymore? and i don’t like how he’s treating you! it’s the same issue with the elders, they don’t know any human decency at all!” 

your mother motioned you to scoot over a little and sat next to you, wrapping her arms around you and patting your back to console you. while she meant well, it accomplished the opposite - you broke down in tears, unable to stop your sobs. “i just want my ‘toshi back,” you whimpered upset, burying your face in the pillow to muffle the sound of you crying. “i know you didn’t like that i became good friends with him but i couldn’t help it and i just really like him and- you weren’t supposed to find that out.”

“sweetheart, i know you love noritoshi,” she handed you a tissue. “you let a lot more on than you were aware of; dad and me always knew you were in love with him.” as if on cue, your sobbing stopped and you just looked at her in disbelief. she knew. she knew. you wanted the earth to swallow you whole. “i think it was always pretty obvious, to be honest. you always looked at him as if he was your entire world and no matter what happened, you were always by his side. i know it’s hard to accept when a dear friend is changing but sometimes you just have to, right? both of you are still growing, there’s no way of telling how your personalities change.”

“but i don’t want him to change like this,” you protested stubbornly, glaring at her. she was talking about it as if it was a matter of simply discarding a bad apple in the trash. it wasn’t easy and it made you anxious. you grew up together, shared secrets and memories. he was the person you’d always looked up to.

“y/n.” your mother sounded stern but you didn’t back down, not yet. “is it really worth it? if a person is changing so rapidly and you’re not getting through to them, you’ll have to let it go. there’s only so much you can do. people grow apart sometimes, it’s only natural. you have to let go of them, temporarily, so you both can heal and grow. y/n, i know you’re being stubborn about this but you’ll have to let him figure things out on his own. fate has curious ways to bring people back together.”

when the time came, noritoshi left to attend the kyoto metropolitan curse tech school without telling you a word. you were disappointed, apparently you weren’t worth saying goodbye to. whatever his reason was, it must’ve been pretty important. important enough to forget the promise that you’d always stay in contact. you wondered whether he'd change again, for the better maybe? maybe you would reconcile when you could finally attend the school as well and train together. you were excited to show him your sword skills, having received your family's heirloom, an elegant steel blue sword. though your skills probably weren’t up to par with the other students, you still wanted to show them off, show him what you’d learned in the year that you spent apart.

noritoshi had changed but not for the better. holy shit, did he get on your nerves. the first time he'd practiced with you, you realized that he had mutated into an insufferable know-it-all. he would give you backhanded compliments or make snide remarks about your posture, how you were supposed to hold your sword, how inefficient your fighting style was. sometimes you wished you could just beat him for once and have him shut up. there was no denying though, noritoshi was way too strong and you had a long way to go. judging from the reactions of the others, barely anyone had beat him either. 

and just like that, your feelings for him were buried. you’d taken your mother’s advice to heart, keeping conversations and interactions with him to a minimum but somehow noritoshi always found his way to you. he was everywhere and a quarrel was inevitable. noritoshi got under your skin and he knew how to push your buttons. why he chose to pick on you was beyond your comprehension; he didn’t pay much attention to the other students nor was he particularly liked by them. just how much was he going to get on everyone else’s nerves? out of all the second years, todo aoi was the most amicable; you had the (dis)pleasure to run into him on your first day and for some reason, he took a liking to you. while he was loud and boisterous, mostly doing whatever he wanted, you couldn’t deny that he was a good friend. even though he didn’t care about anyone as much as he cared about takada-chan. at one point, he’d looked at you in sympathy when he caught you staring at noritoshi, patting your shoulder (too forceful): “i’m sorry, y/n, i’m so sorry.” 

you still didn’t know what he meant by that.

ps.: todo knows and he’s kinda judging you for your taste in men 

#jujutsu kaisen #kamo noritoshi #noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi kamo x reader #noritoshi x you #kamo noritoshi x you #noritoshi kamo x you #noritoshi kamo imagines #kamo noritoshi imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #noritoshi imagines #fic: sanguine #writing #my writing has gotten SO incredibly rusty i literally only know how to write academic papers anymore bc that's all i do in my everyday life #it makes me speechless to see all the love on my previous sukuna fic and i'm so glad people are enjoying it #hey if you're lurking in the tags thank you for reading i really appreciate it! pls stay hydrated

[granolabird]

Hope for Better Days

Post 2x09. I figured we didn’t get much Hournite content this EP so I made my own :) This follows Beth going to visit Rick at the jail just before the storm starts after she gets off the phone with Courtney. Just some good ol Angst/Fluff content. Sure Rick is in jail but I can still make him kinda-sorta happy. Ish.

Warnings: N/A

Taglist: @hournites @bethchapelsbonnet 

If you’d like to be added to my weekly Hournite fic tag list feel free to ask :) .

“Has Rick called?” Beth finds herself asking as soon as she gets the chance.

Courtney called her to help devise a plan on what to do about Eclipso. It’s a valid mindset, one that Beth is trying very hard to reciprocate but she just can’t. She can’t stop thinking about Rick, alone and cold in his jail cell. The storm that’s hitting today is supposed to be really bad, there might even be a tornado. And sure Beth’s safe at home. So is Courtney, and Yolanda too, but Rick? He’s in a jail cell, which is probably one of the least safe places he could be. 

“No, he hasn’t called. Yolanda still hasn’t answered my calls either.” Courtney snaps Beth from her train of thought.

“Oh. Okay.”

Beth isn’t sure what else to say. Courtney seems to ignore her disappointment and continues to prattle on about how to use the staff and the goggles together to beat Eclipso. Beth tries to listen, she really does. What Courtney is saying is important, but Rick keeps flitting across her mind. She can’t help but worry about him. She looks out her window at the storm, wondering how long until it unleashed itself. Would there be enough time to go visit Rick? The police station wasn’t that far, and he should still have his twenty minutes of visitation time, nobody had gone to see him today. Beth could go see him.

“Beth?” Courtney seems to have asked a question that Beth has absolutely not heard.

“Sorry, can you say that again?”

Courtney sighs, but repeats her question; “You said Eclipso presented himself as a child?” “A child version of Bruce Gordon, yeah.” 

“Well then it’ll be…”

Courtney’s voice fades into obscurity as Beth spots her Dad’s car pulling into the driveway. He’s home early, this is too perfect. If she can convince him to drive her to go see Rick, then she’ll be good to go. It’s a foolproof plan, probably.

“Sorry Courtney, my dad just got home. I have to go.” Beth manages to get her words in between Courtney’s seemingly endless rambling.

“Oh, yeah of course. I’ll call you later, okay?” There’s a hint of disappointment to Courtney’s voice that makes Beth feel a little bad about the whole situation, but she really has to go see Rick.

“Yeah! For sure!” And with that she hangs up, sliding her phone into her bag. 

She’s still wearing her goggles, and spends a moment debating whether it’s safe to take them off or not. She resolves to put them in her bag just in case, not wanting to endure another questioning from her father regarding her wearing her ‘swimming goggles’ everywhere. Then she grabs her bag, pulls on a sweater and races down the stairs to see her Father.

“Dad! You’re home early!” Beth tries to put as much enthusiasm into her voice as possible, and judging on the smile her dad flashes her way her tactics are working.

“Yeah, work was worried about the weather so they sent everyone home early.” He’s already taking off his jacket and hanging it up. 

Once he gets his shoes off and sits down on the couch Beth knows he won't be moving. She has to act quickly. She steadies herself, shaking off any worries before she asks to go visit Rick. The worst he can say is no is all she keeps telling herself in a (failing) attempt to keep herself calm.

“So, dad.”

“What is it sweetie?” He’s halfway through unlacing one of his dress shoes.

“I was wondering if we could go visit Rick? You know, before the storm starts. I just want to make sure he’s okay.” She’s rushing her words, but her Dad seems to understand what she says perfectly well as he gets up and looks at her with some concern.

“Beth, it’s about to start raining any minute now. Don’t you think he can wait?”

“His hearing got cancelled today. I just think he could use someone to talk to, you know? The station isn’t that far away, I could walk there if you don’t feel like driving me-”

“Absolutely not. You’ll get soaked. I’ll drive you, but we have to be quick.”

Beth mentally jumps for joy, but she doesn’t vocalize her excitement, just offers her Father a smile.

“Thanks Dad!” 

Beth leans against the window as the car rolls down the street, her eyes scanning the dark clouds in the sky as they go. The drive to the police station seems to stretch on forever, especially with her Dad asking questions near-constantly. They’re just around the corner when her Dad asks,

“What is it with you and Rick anyway?”

“What?”

“Sorry, I mean, you two just seem close… You’d tell me if you had a boyfriend right? Your Mother and I would be so happy to hear that you-”

“Dad! No, it’s not like that! We… We're best friends, that’s it. He doesn’t really have anyone else, so I have to be there for him.”

“Oh, yeah. That makes sense.”

The rest of the ride is silent.

Beth doesn’t tell her dad that she wishes her and Rick were more than best friends. It doesn’t feel like the right time to admit it. She doubts there ever will be a right time to admit it, but this would definitely be one of the absolute worst times. Her dad would never shut up about it. Not that that was a bad thing, Beth could talk about Rick and how much she cared about him for hours. But with her Dad? It doesn’t feel right. She continues scanning the clouds and fiddling with one of the straps on her bag while dwelling on thoughts of her relationship to Rick all the way to the police station parking lot.

Rick is slumped in his cell, leaning against the wall as he sits on his cot. This place is hell, but at least he doesn’t have to deal with Matt. That’s an upside. The downside is the fact that he rarely gets to see his friends, especially Beth. Beth. His mind lingers on her name a moment too long, and he has to shake his head in an attempt to dispel any thoughts of her. He’s found it best not to think about her unless she’s visiting him. Every time he does it feels like his soul is ripping in two, a deep ache in his chest that he can’t dispel, so he finds it better to not think about her altogether. As he sits now, staring at the blank ceiling of his cell, Rick hears footsteps approaching down the hall. Probably just a guard going for an hourly checkup. The steps however, stop in front of his cell, and Rick turns his head to see an Officer waiting at the door.

“There’s a visitor here for you Mr. Harris”

Rick cringes at the name, but forces himself not to say anything about it. He’d rather not start any kerfuffle. 

“Isn’t there supposed to be a bad storm out there? Why the hell is someone visiting me?” Rick wonders aloud and the Officer shrugs.

“Not my business. I just gotta get you to the phones, the faster the better. I have a break in ten.” The Officer sounds exhausted, and Rick can’t help but feel himself sympathizing.

He really just wishes he could fall asleep, and wake up to find all of this was a dream. It won’t happen of course, but that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it. Sometimes he wonders if all this is one giant illusion done by Eclipso, if he’s still stuck in that hellish landscape. But nobody would visit him if he were still in Eclipso’s hellscape. He’s not sure if it’s reassuring to know he’s not still there, or awful to know he’s actually trapped in jail. It’s a lose-lose situation, really.

When Rick sees Beth waiting on the other side of the glass to see him, his heart does a flip. He spots her Dad standing awkwardly in the corner, and makes a mental note not to say anything too personal, and not to mention the JSA. All inhibitions leave his mind as soon as he sits across from Beth and picks up the phone, however. 

“Beth, what are you doing here?” He tries to keep his voice steady but he can't help the relief that he feels encompassing his entire body.

“Visiting you, obviously!” Beth smiles, and Rick swears he’s going to melt on the spot. Nothing but a puddle of love-struck Rick Tyler left on the chair. The Officer would have to mop him up to get him back to his cell. 

“I thought there was a storm out there? Shouldn’t you be at home preparing?”

Beth shrugs as if that’s the least of her worries, which it really shouldn’t be, but she doesn’t seem to share that sentiment.

“It hasn’t started yet. I figured I’d come check on you before it got too bad.” As if on cue the police station is shaken by a peel of thunder that makes Rick wince and the lights flicker. 

“You don’t need to check on me Beth, I’m doing fine.”

“I don’t care if I don’t need to check on you Rick. I want to. I want to make sure you’re okay, and not freezing, and well fed, and as happy as you can be given the conditions. I just… I just want you to be okay.”

Rick can’t help but smile at this, wishing more than anything to reach through the barrier separating him and Beth so that he could hug her. She’s too kind. Too good for Rick. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve her. Frankly, he probably doesn’t deserve her. And yet here she is. Making sure he’s okay. 

“Thanks, Beth. I’m doing okay. I’ll be okay. You don’t need to worry about me, I’ll be alright.” This doesn’t seem to reassure Beth at all, but it’s all he can offer.

“You’re in jail, Rick. Of course I’m going to worry about you. There’s not really much else I can do.” Beth looks so serious, so distraught, and Rick hates himself for causing her so much stress. 

“I guess you’re right. But try not to worry too much, okay? I don’t want to stress you out. The thought of me stressing you out stresses me out.” He half-laughs, and butterflies fill his stomach as he sees Beth laugh with him. 

It’s a small laugh but it’s enough.

“Alright, I’ll try, I promise.” Beth agrees.

The conversation lulls into small talk about Courtney and how she’s doing, and how Yolanda still hasn’t called back. Nothing too consequential, but Rick likes it that way. Makes his life seem more normal if only for a moment. It reminds him of all the days spent with Beth in her living room or in the Pit Stop just rambling about nothing and everything. Enjoying each other’s company, because they had nobody else to talk to. Because they were made to talk to one another. Those are the days Rick misses the most. He just wants to go back in time to tell himself to enjoy those moments more, to take in everything Beth is saying, to tell Beth everything he’s feeling. Because right now it’s looking like he may never get the chance again. He wants more than anything to have that chance again.

The lights flicker once more, and that seems to spook the Officer enough that he puts a hand on Rick’s shoulder, gesturing for him to get up.

“It’s only been ten minutes.” Rick growls, and the Officer taps his watch idly in response.

“Twelve minutes actually. I’m sorry, really, I just want to get you back to your cell before things get worse. It’d be best your friend here goes home too, I don’t think anyone should be driving in this weather. Car accidents kill so many people every year, you wouldn’t believe it!”

Both Rick and Beth wince at that statement, and Beth shoots him a sympathetic look. Rick swallows down any malicious retort, knowing the Officer only has good intentions, deciding to respond with a nod. 

“I’ll talk to you as soon as I can.” Beth reassures him as Rick starts preparing to leave, and he smiles at her softly. “Yeah, of course. Get home safely, okay?” “Of course I will. Sit in your cell safely, okay?”

Rick can’t help but laugh at that as he nods, blinking tears from his eyes.

“I always do.”

And then he’s hanging up the phone and being escorted down the hallway. He throws one last glance back at Beth as he goes, but she’s already talking to her Dad, so she doesn’t notice his longing stare as he’s carted away.

The walk back to Rick’s cell is relatively silent. Most of the other cells are empty, save for a few sleeping drunks in some of the holding cells. Blue Valley isn’t particularly known for it’s non-supervillain related crime. It is a small town after all, so Rick’s incident was quite the exception. As they reach his cell, and Rick steps inside, the Officer finally speaks up.

“You know, that girl really must care a lot about you to come all the way out here to see you in this weather. You’ve caught yourself a good one there Mr. Harris.” 

Rick gives a breathy laugh as he walks into the cell, sitting down on his cot. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.” And he does. Beth is like no other girl he’s ever met, and for that he will forever be grateful. She’ll always be there for him, and he knows that as long as he’s alive he will always be there for her. 

He hopes it will stay that way forever. 

And a few blocks away, driving home in the pouring rain, she hopes for the same thing.

#I'm pretty happy with this one #Cute with just a dash of angst #Hournite #Stargirl #cw stargirl #stargirl spoilers #beth chapel #Rick tyler #beth x rick #Hourman #dr. mid nite

[petekaos]

2020 creator wrap + a follow forever

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

hiii hello everyone! sorry it’s taken me so long to get on this BUT it’s all for good reason! i thought i would combine this post into me sharing some of the works i am most proud of this year as well as spreading more love in this wonderful little community because i truly love you all tons and being a part of such a lovely group of people has made me beyond happy this year. it’s been a difficult year for all of us and i’m just so glad that i can give back the love and care y’all can give to me 💛

onward to spreading love to people who tagged me, in no particular order! thank you all for tagging me, it means so much and know that i have read through your posts at least twice with a smile on my face.

@wjmild: kylie!! you constantly surprise me with how kind and insightful you are, as well as your dedication to watching absolutely every show with lee thanat in it. you are so smart and educated and every time you talk about your research and your studies i can’t help but feel so incredibly proud of you. i really hope life brings you the peace and fulfillment you deserve. i love you!

@gigiesarocha: cata - it is always such a pleasure to see you on my dash. i can rely on you losing your shit over ingredients every two weeks and every time i see jeff doing things it 100% reminds me of you! you possess such a kind soul and i’m so glad to have had the pleasure of following you this year :’)

@yihwas: sometimes i still can’t believe you know who i am and that we’re grouped together, soph! your blog is such a refuge to me, i adore scrolling through your replies and laughing at all the witty things you say. you are simply so kind and thoughtful in your responses and criticism and you have such talent in gifmaking! i am forever grateful to you for introducing me to new lakorns and to you and shannon for creating @lakornladies​. 

@morksuns: sumaya! my url twin! i absolutely love seeing you on the dash, it really is that trans desi solidarity, no? your moodboards are always so aesthetic and your blog is so soft and calm. i see you sending such lovely asks to people, including myself, and i truly admire your personality so much!

@gayvlad: nico, my sibling! i love you so much and seeing you on the dash always makes me smile. sometimes you’re too hard on yourself, but that’s okay, because i’m always here for you. i loved your reactions to dbk in live time, and that you’re now as attached to the show as i am. we love a lot of the same things, and i’ll forever be grateful to you for indulging my headcanons and developing them with me, like the ram and bohn friendship. the ram fic of him finding the gym as a home was developed through much of your influence, and i’ll never stop being astonished at how kind and supportive you are. i love you! 

@khaotungthanawat: saaaam! your gifs are always a beauty to behold. i admire you so much for making those bl compilation gifsets because that takes so much patience and dedication, especially to find all the moments. i can always count on you for underrated gifsets, too, and i smile every time you send me an ask!

@tanwirapong: roa! oh i adored getting to know you better this year through the gifted gays gc. i remember still when you made a post about there’s an art to honesty and it truly made my day - i sent it to my partner and best friend and they were so fond as well! i will always be so happy about the fact that we both lose it over petekao every now and again, it means the world to me :’)

@emisfritish: your wisdom and way of expressing your thoughts will never fail to amaze me, emma. i can always count on you for calling things like they are and writing out well-worded, thought-provoking posts that express everything i have ever thought about fandom but could never quite write down. it’s such a pleasure seeing you on my dash and honestly, whenever i see tay, he reminds me of you!

so that was everyone who tagged me, for which i am eternally grateful! (if i missed anyone... i am so sorry ily...) now onto me rambling about how much i love specific people in the fandom generally that i haven’t already mentioned.

@earthfluuke: maddie... where do i even start. getting to know you this year means the absolute world to me and i love how many thoughts we can share together and how many aus and ideas we can plot out to the finest detail, but i also love how we can talk about serious topics and irl issues affecting us both and know that the other person will be there. i admire you so much for going on and persevering despite the many difficult factors in your life right now. know that i will always be there - to listen to you, to support your gifs and fics, to develop characters with you, to weigh in on problems or ideas you have. i love you!

@asianmelodrama: faiza!! i can never address you without immediately adding ‘jaan’ after it honestly. you are a sister to me in all things and knowing you has been such an honour. your wise words, your calmness in dealing with things, your infectious excitement - they are all facets of your personality that i both admire and adore. whether it’s getting angry about shitty muslim rep or freaking out about a movie, i know that i can always count on you to be there for me if i ever need it. i hope light and love touches your life always, and you find peace in everything you do. if i ever happen to be in england, i am definitely coming over for your chai :’) i love you!

@yioh: yura my laddoo! i say this all the time, but i simply am so grateful that we met. i love seeing your tags on my posts and i just... adore seeing you doing your thing on your blog, your posts always make me smile. i know school is hard right now, but know that i’m always rooting for you and believe in you completely. words cannot express how happy i am to have found another tamil lgbt person who can understand the same experiences, it really does mean everything to me. and know that i will begin reading tyk soon, i promise, and i’ll tell you all about my thoughts! i love youuu!

@1akorn: shannon!! i still cannot believe people group us together because i’ve always admired you from a distance - imagine my absolute surprise when i found out that you followed me! i 100% rely on you for the good mek content and love your gifs so much. you’re so articulate and speak your thoughts incredibly well, which i truly admire.

@brightwin: jelly - you already know the amount of love and fondness i hold for you. you’re such a kind and bubbly person and your personality shines not only through your tags and responses to people, but also through your gorgeous gifsets that are just so warm and lovely. i can always rely on you to give me updates on all things related to brightwin and 2gether. you’re wonderful!

@yibobibo: aamna! i know i can always get my yibo content from you, and i adore it. i love seeing updates about your bunnies and your kind responses to your anons, you truly are a ray of light! you’re also one of the fairly concentrated cql blogs i follow - and for that i am always grateful.

@metawwin: ali! your gorgeous gifs are always such a light on my dash. i remember once you called me ‘rahulito’ and it made me so soft. your voice and songs are so lovely and i don’t even know where to begin thanking you for sharing your art with us. i know it means a lot to me, and it means the same to many others.

@taytawan: nuriaaa! i remember seeing you so often in the petekao tag and i gotta say that your sets of both petekao and sarawatine, especially the heart eyes series, always make me so soft. and of course, the fact that you gifted me this wonderful url! i will always be thankful for that and for your general kindness and warmth that you bestow upon everyone.

@piningbisexuals: axelle! although we don’t talk that much, i always love seeing your gifs and your thoughts on shows on the dash. i’m wishing you all the best with your thai classes and hope that everything goes well with you! also, you should know that i read that manboss fic you gifted to me at least once a week because it just means that much to me - and i’m so glad i got you into this little silly ship of mine. 

@sunsetchimyeon: nene, my pk anon! i love seeing your asks in my inbox and writing essays as replies. having conversations with you was one of my absolute highlights and i’ll always be blown away by how kind and calm and supportive and patient you are! i hope life is treating you well, my friend.

@toptaps: zey!! oh i love seeing your gifs and kindness on my dash and know that whenever i see toptap in anything, he always reminds me of you! also your gifs of sammy? absolutely gorgeous!

@giftedgays: i love you all SO much it is truly insane. being part of our tumblr gc that evolved into a discord server with a thousand channels has been one of my 2020 highlights. i loved yelling with you all about tgg every week and i must thank you all for sitting through my chanonpom breakdowns every second day. 

in particular: 

@pangwave - dawnie, i love you! i admire you and your no bullshit attitude so much. i know you’re going through a process of change right now, and i could not be prouder of you for persevering through it, regardless of the painful and strange circumstances we find ourselves in. i have full faith in you, and i know that you got this. we’re all here for you! 

@doctorbahnjit: - alexa! i still remember when you wrote the first manboss fic and an anon sent me a link regarding it. you are genuinely one of the funniest people i know and you deserve the absolute world. i read out of the blue every day, no kidding, because it means so much to me! thank you for being my fellow chanonpomer, my fellow manboss-er, and just being an all around ray of absolute sunshine.

@gunatps: vee! i have already embarrassed myself enough in my post to you but it’s worth repeating. i adore our eden chanonpom breakdown sessions, which we should have again soon when you have time, and i love us roasting modi in the chat, it truly cracks me up! we have so much in common and i just want to say that i am so proud of you for studying and taking your exams - i know how difficult they are. 

@wavelovespang: cass!! how i adore your analyses and breakdowns of scenes and relationships, you have so much insight and wisdom that you spread in such thoughtful ways! you’re so supportive and kind and such a great teacher, i know that. your writing is so wonderful and i’m truly so honoured that we all get to read it, it’s a gift!

@class2clown: angel! i cannot say this enough but i admire your art so much, it’s so so beautiful! you’ve always been so kind and lovely, and just like with cass, thank you so much for organising the gifted week events! although i couldn’t properly partake this year because of time constraints, i loved seeing everyone’s creations and it was super thoughtful.

@soulmatelines: i’ve said this before, jo, but it must be said again: i cannot believe you thought i was cool. i’ve always adored your gifs from afar and you’re such a sweet person! i love love love talking with you in the kpop channel (even if you personally hate 3racha smh), and you truly do bear the novel agenda! i’ve learned about so many more novels i must read and for that i am so grateful :’) 

@billkinpp: violet, i will never fail to crack up at a) your and kylie’s plans to run away and get married, and b) you having a thousand sideblogs and complimenting yourself on your own gifs in the tags, as you absolutely should! i hope the next year is kind to you and that your sleep schedule isn’t too fucked up :’)

@vihokratanas: mel, i will always be in complete awe of your gifs! they are always so clean and crisp. i remember still when you were fondestphan and my phannie days flashed in front of my eyes fhsnfg but either way, you’re so kind and sweet! 

@pvrrish: eleni!! i don’t think i’ve ever told you this before but i’ve always loved the 2gether poster that you made, i sometimes go on your blog to look at it for like 5 minutes, it’s truly so beautiful! i hope you’ve had an okay year, all things considered, and that life is kind to you!

@lee-thanat: another leesbian, ke! y’all always crack me up in the lesbians for lee thanat channel truly. your simping for ms ladda is so valid, i miss her so much honestly. i hope that the coming year is kind to you, and that you find the peace you deserve!

okay, so i think that’s everyone that i either talk to regularly or admire a lot! in case i didn’t mention you, please please feel free to reach out to me because i mean no offense at all - my brain is small haha. would also like to shout out all my anons who send me asks and bear with my late responses these days because of life, i adore you all and i love answering your asks.

if you’re still reading after this... whole monster of a post, i’m just gonna quickly mention some things i’ve been proud of either writing or making this year. in no particular order:

1. my weary heart has come to rest in yours. this is a fic i wrote in an... interesting headspace, and i was really going through my chanonpom feelings at the time. i’m really proud of how it came out and i adored writing chanon through pom’s pov. also i kinda love how i tied in p’bird’s song prip dtah in with the fic because i adore the song and it fits so well with them.

2. petekao week 2020. i guess this is sort of cheating, because these are technically 7 fics, BUT. i am actually proud of myself for writing seven, and i think they’re all of fairly good quality. i just really love this little universe i created for the dbk characters after the show and this whole week was just so warm and lovely to be a part of.

3. this set of num and prang from a gift for whom you hate. this moment really stuck with me from the finale and i actually am really proud of the colouring and how it came out! i think the blues really popped and i managed to lighten this dark ass scene without whitewashing mek or aye. the fireworks gif also is one of my favourites i’ve made! num and prang’s whole relationship was so pure throughout the entirety of this show, i adored them. 

4. but love is impossible and it goes on despite the impossible. this is the longest fic i’ve posted so far and i’m super proud of it - it’s also my most well-received fic. the yunmeng brothers mean the world to me and i just... wanted to write about jiang cheng and his love for his brother and give them a somewhat happy ending, in one future at least.

5. there’s an art to honesty. i think i really nailed my version of kao in this work! i just really loved writing this fic so much, especially because it was right after the whole ‘scandal’ with new happened. i was really just finding a way to separate kao from him, and i delved into my feelings with this fic as well, because i relate to kao in multiple ways. either way, i thought writing this fic was fun and a lot of people loved it too, which made me so soft!

if you’ve read this far, i personally adore you! while this has been a difficult year, i am blessed to have been part of this loving community, and i really hope that next year will be kinder to us all and give us good shows and discussions! i love you all. stay safe and stay kind, friends 💛

#i've been writing this for over an hour but it's WORTH IT i love you all #if i missed anyone feel free to knock me in the head god bless #rahul.txt #creator wrap 2020 #(i haven't proofread pls forgive typos)

[youbloodymadgenius]

Off Guard (Modern!Ivar x reader)

Part 1

A/N: This is my entry to @hecohansen31​‘s 1K writing challenge. Congratulations once again, love 💐! There’ll be a second part. Heco, I know how much you love insecure!Ivar, so bear with me and trust me 😉

The prompt I chose: Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something. (”The Raven Boys”, by Maggie Stiefvater)

As usual, thanks to @inforapound​ 🌺

Let me know if you want to be tagged 😊

Summary: Y/N wants to surprise her three-year long-distance-relationship boyfriend. Things aren't going to turn out the way she hoped.

Warnings: slight angst for this first part, nothing more.

Words: 2416

Reaching the entrance of the building, you heave a sigh of relief, seeing the guard standing at the door. You know him. He won't mind letting you in and it makes the first part of your plan so much easier. 

 "Miss Y/N, how nice to see you again."

 "Hello…", squinting at his badge, you give him a broad smile, "… Erik. I'm glad to see you too. He's still in there, right?" Pointing at the building, you look up, Ivar's office being on the top floor. 

 "Of course he is. You know him, don't you?" Showing his disapproval by shaking his head, Erik waves at an employee leaving the building  before explaining his thoughts. "He never leaves before nine pm, sometimes later. He's far too young to work that hard." Erik lowers his gaze, pursing his lips. "I'm afraid I'm overstepping my role, sorry Miss. Shall I let him know you're here?"

"It's fine, Erik, don't worry." Putting a reassuring hand on his arm, you squeeze it lightly, nodding. "I agree, Ivar works way too hard. Hopefully it will change,” you add with a dreamy smile before remembering his question. "No, don't tell him I'm here please, I want to suprise him."

 Erik winks at you, seemilingly pleased. "All right Miss, as you wish." Pushing the door for you, he invites you in. " My shift ends in thirty minutes. If I don't see you again, I'll say good night." Thanking him, you head to the main elevator but stop in your tracks when another question pops in your mind. "Hvitserk and Ubbe are out of the office, right?" 

 Erik nods, stifling a chuckle, his answer obvious. "Of course Miss. They left two hours ago, together with two young ladies, very blonde and very pretty if I may say so." You can't help but grin hearing that. So far so good. Everything's going according to your plan. Giving him a thumbs up, you shout "Thanks Erik, good night," while the elevator doors are closing. 

 And now, it's time for action. Selecting the top floor button with a shaky finger, you're beyond excited, your heart racing faster and faster the closer you get to your goal. 

 As soon as the doors open, you quickly cross the seemilingly deserted floor, pleased once again with your perfect timing. Friday night at seven pm, there's hardly anyone left in the building. Yet, you're still careful.

 As you walk passed Ivar's office, you have to fight with all your might not to burst through the door, your heart beating frantically at this point, the burning desire to finally be in his arms after more than four months, literally, eating you up. 

 By now, you're used to this long distance relationship, this ocean between the two of you. Yet, since your first encounter on a Caribbean island three years ago, you've never been without each other for so long. You want, you need, his strong arms around you, his lips against yours. You resist the urge, inhaling deeply, determined to pull off the surprise as you planned. He'll love it. Of course he will. 

 With Hvitserk and Ubbe gone, you have a choice but don't hesitate before entering Hvitserk’s office. Hvitserk being Hvitserk, you know he spends few hours at work – to the great dismay of his brothers – more interested in women than in the family business. His office, impersonal and with blank walls, is therefore perfect for your plan.

 Sneaking in, you close the door quietly as you swing your backpack from your shoulder, putting it on Hvitserk's desk. Glancing around, you see that you were right, there's nothing on the walls or personal items on the desk. 

 The moment you open your backpack, you take out your laptop, turning it on. It would have been faster with your phone, but the battery is dead and its charger lies in the bottom of your suitcase. Bursting with impatience, you nervously bite your lower lip, eventually releasing a short breath as soon as your laptop is ready.  

 As you open Skype without a moment's hesitation, it's like your heart is exploding. Finally! Holding your breath, you click on the call button…

 It rings.

 ***

 "Y/N?" Ivar gives you a dumbfounded look as soon as your face appears on his screen. "Is everything all right? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Looking briefly at his watch, he nods. "Yes, you should, it's awfully early for you."

 Playing along for now, you fake a yawn, stretching your upper limbs. "Yeah, I know, but I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd call you, my love. Hope I'm not disturbing anything."

 "No, don't worry. Guess I can spare five minutes even though I've got a lot of work to do." Slightly shaken by his sharp voice, you wince. You know he does indeed have a lot to do. Between his doctoral thesis and his leading post within the Lothbrok Corporation, Ivar is more than busy most of the time. Too busy to your liking. Still… 

 "Where are you?" Squinting at his screen, Ivar frowns, his index finger clearly pointing to the blank wall behind you. "This is not your bedroom, is it?"

 Relieved to have a ready answer, you're about to tell him that you're in your father's office on the ground floor, so as not to wake anyone, but you don't get the chance as he waves a dismissive hand at you, leaving you speechless.

 "Never mind, forget it, just tell me why are you calling, Y/N?" There's no pet name, no frills. On the contrary, in his tone is a urgency that doesn't suit you well. Feeling baffled and a little hurt, you nervously run a hand through your hair, pursing your lips. Of course, you know Ivar doesn't like talking on the phone, video calls or not. It's nothing new and not something you're happy about, but you've learned to accept it.  Still, you have to admit, he has been more distant lately.

Biting your inner cheek, you try to brush your uneasiness off. Ivar had never been much of a talker, rather a quiet and straight-to-the-point guy, but, he loves you, that's something you know for certain. So, instead of paying too much attention to his obvious lack of enthusiasm, you focus on what's about to happen. Your surprise. He'll love it. You're sure he will. 

 "Well…", you begin, unsure, wishing you could pretend a little longer, have him believe for a few more minutes that you're home, thousands of miles away. But you can't. You've been dying to break the news to him for days, ever since your parents said yes. Keeping it a secret had been hard, and you don't want to wait anymore. 

 Taking in a deep breath, you give him a dazzling smile. "Actually, I'm calling you with a good reason, Ivar. I have something to tell you. Something huge, if I may say so."

 Furrowing his brow, he looks at you questioningly, leaning his head towards the screen. "Carry on." His terse voice gives away how uninterested he is. He must be VERY busy, you think, but that's not going to undermine your eagerness. 

 "Listen, it's the most unexpected news of the year!” Waving your arms enthusiastically, you suppress the urge to get up as you just want to rush into his office, failing to notice his frozen-with-concern face.  

 However, you don't miss the way he clenches his jaw a second later, swallowing loudly. "Fuck, you're scaring me, Y/N. You can't be… " He stops and you catch a glimpse of... fear in his eyes. Realizing he's genuinely afraid freaks you out a little bit. While many terms can describe Ivar – cranky, handsome, stubborn, smart, cheeky, yet sometimes insecure, short-tempered but often so sweet in private – scared is certainly not one of them. What can he be thinking about?

 "No Ivar, please. I promise, it's not bad news. Maybe you should sit down, but trust me, it's nothing bad. Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something. Oh no, you know, I think it would be better if you were sitting. Yeah. Sit down Ivar. But I promise, it's not bad news. Are you sitting? Because I think that you should, definitely."

 You'd probably keep going, but he interrupts you harshly, "Y/N!", a finger over his lips. "Stop your rambling! Look, I'm behind my desk, of course I'm sitting. Now tell me… I need to know… You're not… You're not fucking pregnant, right?"

 Huh?? You stare wide-eyed at him, utterly taken aback. You just can't believe it. Pregnant? How could you? Even if you're on the pill, Ivar always uses condoms, repeating his explanation each and every time, so much so that you memorized it. 'My fucking condition is the result of a fucking genetic disease, Y/N. My child will have a fifty percent chance of inheriting it. It can't fucking happen.'

 Part of you wants to tease him about it, but because you can see he's genuinely worried you choose instead to reassure him. "Of course not, Ivar." A look of relief immediately washes over his face, Ivar breathes a huge sigh, his features relaxing visibly as you give him an affectionate smile. You're truly delighted when he smiles back at you. 

 "Okay, good. So what is it? What's the big news, Y/N? Won't you tell me?" Hands clasped under his chin, he seems to be giving you his undivided attention now, narrowing his eyes. Glad to see you've finally managed to arouse his interest, you nod excitedly, beaming. 

 Determined not to keep him waiting any longer, you clap your hands twice before breathing out heavily. "Yep, I will. Listen Ivar, you know how my parents have always been reluctant for me to study there, right?"

 Rolling his eyes, Ivar shrugs, shaking his head slightly, a disappointed look on his face. "Yeah I do, indeed." He's not doing as well in the whole long-distance thing as you are. He had once, a long time ago, put words to his feelings, fists clenched, his anger barely hiding his sorrow. 'Sometimes I do feel like I've been cursed. Nothing is ever easy for me. Don't get me wrong, Y/N, I love you and I don't regret having you in my life, but I wish things could have been different. One normal thing in my abnormal life. Guess it was too much to hope for…' It had hurt you, but you understood him.  

 Your desire to move overseas so that you can live with Ivar had been a real bone of contention between you and your parents for the past two years. You may be twenty-two, but your parents still think of you as their little girl. Of course, you don't let your 'little girl' go abroad, do you? And since you didn't want them to get mad at you, you stayed, to the great distress of your lover.  

 Speaking of Ivar, it's not even that your parents don't like him, because they do. They just don't get it. ' Why doesn't Ivar come here instead? We would be sincerly happy if you two lived together, you know? Here. In our country, that could become his.' You had argued endlessly, explaining that it was much more complicated for him to move than it was for you. Partly because of his job, obviously, but mostly because of his disease. His doctors are in Norway, his PT too, as is the surgeon who has operated on him many time. They know Ivar, his special condition, his rare genetic disorder. More importantly, he knows them, trusts them, and sadly needs them. 

 You had never been able to get through to you your parents, at least not until recently. Surprisingly, they finally changed their minds a few weeks ago and you jumped at the chance without delay, applying to Kattegat University while taking care of the red tape, all this of course behind Ivar's back, so that the surprise was complete. 

 "Well, they're not anymore." As soon as you understand that he's not sure what you're talking about, you quickly add, eyes sparkling with excitement, "Reluctant, I mean."

 "Ex… Excuse me?" Ivar stutters, clearly flabbergasted, his blue eyes widening.  

 "You heard me, Ivar. They said yes. My parents agreed. I don't know why and I don't care, but yes, they did. And so, my next academic year, which starts in two months, will be

in Kattegat." You're nearly screaming now, fully excited, your heart rate picking up speed as you remember that you're almost there. The surprise! Ivar may think you've already broken the big news, but he couldn't be more wrong. 

 "Wow! That's unexpected! Guess it's… awesome, Y/N." Swept up by your enthusiasm, you miss the way Ivar frowns, just as you don't sense the little indecision in his voice. You do notice the silence that follows, though, but even if you had hoped for a little more eagerness, it doesn't trouble you. It's Ivar, after all, your taciturn, sullen boyfriend.

 Yet his silence bothers you when you realize he's not going to ask you the question you're looking forward to. Looks like you're going to have to take charge.

 "This is the part where you're supposed to ask me when I think I'm coming, you know?" Chuckling, you wink at him, oblivious to his cool and aloof manner.

 "Ivar?" Raising your eyebrows, you try again as he remains speechless. "Did you hear me?" On an ordinary day, you'd know something's wrong. But there's nothing ordinary about today. 

 "Huh? Sorry, just got a lot on my mind…" He mumbles, lost in thought, scratching the back of his neck. "What did you…? Oh yes, got it." Holding up his index finger, he tilts his head, cracking a bashful half-smile. "Tell me Y/N, when do you plan to arrive? Two weeks before college starts, so you have time to settle in? Or one? One should be enough, what do you think?"

 Almost squeaking – that's your moment, the one you've been waiting for days – you jump out of Hvitserk's working chair."That's the thing, Ivar, that's the thing!" 

 Walking away from the desk and your laptop, you can barely hear Ivar asking where you're going as you rush to the door and through the corridor leading to his office. 

 Stopping for a second when you get there, you inhale deeply before pulling the handle down and opening the door wide. "See Ivar, that's the thing, I'm already here!"

🛡⚔️🛡

@honestsycrets​ @lisinfleur​ @waiting4inspiration​ @saldelys​ @gearhead66​ @readsalot73​ @a-mess-of-fandoms​ @hecohansen31​ @lonewolf471​ @milkkygirls​ @ivarthebloodyking​ @fuckindiva​ @tgrrose​ @shannygoatgruff​

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[fanficparker]

Under My Umbrella | Tom x Haz one-shot

Pairing: Harrison Osterfield x Tom Holland

Word count: 5.5k words

Warnings: Swearing, angst, lots of tears, alcohol

Summary: The one where Harrison did the audacity to kiss his life-long best friend or his twin sister’s boyfriend.

A/N: Life is short and this is just a piece of fiction, why stop myself from posting it on my own blog?

PART 1 ♡

(Tom's POV)

"I am so sorry. OH GOD, I AM SO SORRY!"

I hear Harrison screaming on the top of his voice. My vision is blurry, the rain isn't allowing me to see much, although I am sure there is much more than just the rain pouring down his face; his tears were also streaming down along with it.

He had taken five steps away from me after kissing me in the rain and my world has already fallen apart. He is pulling at his curls so aggressively. He will hurt himself. I take a step towards him with my hands reaching out but he takes another step back.

He is drifting away from me. And I am drifting apart from myself.

I freeze on my feet. My heartbeat feels non-existent. I am confused. Am I dead or alive? If I am dead then where am I? Is it heaven or hell? It kind of feels like both.

Harrison has just kissed me. His taste is still lingering on my tongue. My head is spinning without even a single drop of alcohol. His touch did this to me. And now I am starving. Starving for more.

"I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. Shit! I SHOULDN'T HAVE!"

"No... No... " I try to stop him but he's already running. My ankle is aching. I can't run fast, I can't catch his pace. Then, he slowly vanishes away from my sight.

"HARRISON! HARRISON... PLEASE STOP! Please stop... Please..." I scream, sinking down to the footpath. I was too late to scream. I was too late to stop him.

He's gone. He broke the promise.

***

I can hear those distinct lyrics as the soft music resonates in the air. It's the Ember Island's version— our favourite version. I am sitting here waiting for the interviewers to arrive but my mind keeps drifting off to the song.

"This is our song!" Harrison says as we are lying down on the bed.

"Umbrella? Really?" I ask, surprised.

He turns on his side and faces me, I do the same. His head rests on his elbow while my head is still on the pillow. We were looking at each other.

"Yeah..." His voice is soft. He hums and looks back at the ceiling while the music plays from his phone. He starts lip-syncing along with the lyrics, "Cause in the dark, you can't see shiny cars. And that's when you need me there with you, I'll always share. Because..."

"When the sun shine, we shine together. Told you I'll be here forever---"

"You are singing." RDJ chuckles sitting beside me. And I realise that I was actually singing. My stomach twists into a knot and my face gets warm.

"We can sing it together, kiddo!" He says, enthusiastically.

"I... er..." I try to stop him but he is already singing.

Why am I always late?

"Under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh..." RDJ is singing, he is nodding his head sideways and is peaking at me occasionally.

The song is the same but the voice is different. The lyrics mean different when Harrison sang them. In Harrison's voice, they meant something but right now they are just raw. Hollow.

***

We are on the same magazine cover.

Oh my god.

We are on the same freaking magazine cover!

'The Spider-man 3 star tells us about his secret power food', The Hollywood Reporter headline reads with my gym photo-shoot as the background.

There are three more sub-headlines to the cover, placed near the right margin. The second one says, 'Harrison Osterfield: The young British actor tells us about his inspirational journey as the young face for Agent 007. (Pg. 3-4)'

The rumours were true. He has done it.

Oh my god. And I am not even there to congratulate him.

"I am so proud of you. I knew you would grab it!" Harrison bounces on his feet while I stand near him, blushing furiously.

"My mate is Spider-man! My mate is THE Spider-man!!" He proudly yells and keeps his palms on my shoulders. When I look up into his blue eyes, they are glossy and act like mirrors. I can see myself reflecting through them. Then I notice a little pinch of sadness shining through them.

"Don't forget me though..." He says slowly. His energetic voice started sounding cracked. It made me think for a moment.

I gulp, "You can be my assistant. I-It will help you... gain experience in the industry." I was planning to ask him this since my role was confirmed because how was I even supposed to step into my new, more chaotic life without my biggest support system?

He pulls back his arms from my shoulders and looks at me with wide eyes.

"What?"

"Yes!... Also, you know... I-I am kinda afraid going on the journey alone." I bite at my lower lip.

Just say yes, I pray silently.

"Oh, div! You'll not be alone there. You'll have big stars. All those fancy people, fancy life-style and those fancy---"

"These fancy things will never come in between us, Harrison," I cut his rambling off. He pauses and glances at me.

"I am alone without you..."

I am always alone without him.

I regret not saying always, even though it doesn't matter anymore.

My fingers flip through the pages, my eyes land on his half-page portrait. He was wearing a black and white formal suit; his index finger is pressed against his forehead as he is bent forward while his were eyes boring into the front. They are staring into my soul.

My breath hitches in my throat. It's just his portrait but those eyes. Those eyes. I avert my gaze from the picture to the text. He talks about his journey from school to landing this role. He talks about his family, he talks about his journey as my assistant and then he talks about me. I can hear his voice even when it's just plain text.

'I cannot thank Tom enough. He pushed me harder whenever I slowed down. He pulled me up when I fell down. I really look up to him.'

No Harrison, you are wrong. You pushed me harder when I slowed down. You pulled me up when I fell down. It's me who looks up to you.

"Oh em jee!" The teen girl squeals seeing me at the airport. Harrison and I were walking, dragging our trolleys. I was wearing a cap, sunglasses and even had my hoodie on yet she somehow spotted me. She ran towards me.

"You are Tom Holland! I am such a huge fan of you!!!" She is still squealing as she takes out her phone, asking me for a picture. I was really sleepy and sleep-deprived at the same time, but it still made me smile. I lowered my hoodie and took off my goggles.

Harrison was standing beside me, grinning too. I was ready for her to take a selfie with us but then she walks up to Harrison and points her phone to him.

"Huh?"

I see a little confusion appear on his face.

"Take our picture," She says almost disrespectfully. I feel a pang in my heart, I can't even imagine what he must be feeling. But then he looks at me, takes the phone and smiles.

The girl stands beside me, and Harrison is standing in front of us.

"Smile..." He whispers, looking at me in the eye, his face breaking into a bigger grin and I can't stop the smile that spreads across my own lips seeing him smile.

But I know he was sad from inside and even when I was physically present there, I wasn't still there to make him really smile, the one that makes his eyes crinkle.

I am really sorry for making you feel left out when all you did was try to make me feel included. Sorry for every time I left you alone. Yet, you always kept smiling. How do you do that?

I seriously need to learn a lot from you...

***

I had stopped stalking him on social media weeks ago. It was taking a toll on my mental health. But much to my dismay, I had a notification of him mentioning me in his Instagram story. My finger hovers over the unseen story. I click to see it.

The story was completely black, he has even tagged me in black. This story is exclusively for me. The song plays in the background.

No. No.

He can't do this to me.

He can't fucking do this to me.

"Now that it's raining more than ever, Know that we still have each other, You can stand under my---"

I threw my phone at the wall and the song stops playing abruptly. I am sure that I broke the device. But at least the song has ended.

I hate him for this!

How can he do this do me? How can he go so low?

I sunk down to the floor of my room. I am not just crying, I am screaming. Just like that night when I sunk down to the footpath...

Harrison and I were walking on the wet footpath. The rain was only getting heavier but none of us cared. The occasional honking of vehicles or the whooshing sound of tires against the wet concrete didn't bother us either.

Our shoulders were bumping against each other while we talked and laughed at stupid things. We sometimes did it, went out to have an ice-cream and talked about everything. It cleared off our minds and provided us with a break from our busy lifestyles. Harrison was holding the umbrella over our head as he was the taller one. A small portion of my other shoulder was slightly wet even when we were super close to each other. The umbrella was small, so I shifted closer to him. But I accidentally twisted my ankle due to the slippery path.

"Ouch!" I stop, putting my arm across his shoulder to balance myself, lifting the injured foot in the air.

"What happened?" He asks in a voice full of concern, stopping his motions.

"My foot. I think... I got a sprain."

"Oh, Tom. I tell you to be careful." He says and hands me the umbrella while I shift towards the wall, supporting myself. He crouches down on the empty footpath and unties my sandals, holding my foot in his hand.

"At least I didn't break my nose this time." I chuckle but it ends up as a whimper when he twists my ankle.

"It looks mild," He declares, re-tieing my sandals and stands up. I smile at him in gratitude but he wasn't smiling back. My expression changes to reciprocate his'. Then I realise that he wasn't properly standing up. His knees were slightly bent and his face was at the same level as mine. We were staring at each other. He took a step closer to me and suddenly all my senses were shutting down. The only thing I could feel was how close he was to me, how the scent of his aftershave was the sweetest smell I have ever inhaled, how his eyes were staring at mine, how they flickered down to my lips, how they closed, how the sound of his shaky breath made my heart shiver, how his lips were feeling against mine, how his breath tasted of vanilla and chocolate...

My limbs lost all their strength and the umbrella fell down, drowning us both in pouring water. His hands came to hold mine as he interlaces his fingers through mine, giving them a little squeeze.

He was kissing away the water droplets off my lips. I didn't do anything. I just let him. Or maybe I was kissing him back but it was all... so natural. I have never felt so calm and protected in my life. The way his lips rolled over mine... I was completely intoxicated.

There was something intimate about rain. Something soothing. Your ears are drumming with the pitter-patter sound that you can't hear the regular hustle-bustle. For once I felt like Harrison and I were absolutely alone in this world. I liked that feeling.

But we weren't.

That's when the reality hit him and he panicked.

I was dating his twin sister.

PART 2 ♡

(Harrison's POV)

It's 5 am and I am still not sleeping. My headphones are plugged into my ears while I feel like an absolute piece of shit. Not just I have done the forbidden audacious task of falling for my best friend but also the heinous crime of kissing my sister's boyfriend.

Lily doesn't even know why Tom broke up with her after a relationship of over a year and that too, over the phone. She has no idea that the person she trusted so much for consoling her, the one she chose to cry in front of, the one she chose to hug, the one she chose to share her pain with was actually the sole creator of the pain. Her twin brother was nothing but a snake.

The day after I kissed Tom, there was a knock at my bedroom door in the middle of the night. As soon as the door opened, I stumbled back with what force Lily hugged me. She was crying into my t-shirt. Her behaviour confused me and an instant fear of something bad happening to her settled at the bottom of my heart; my brother instincts made my fists clench. I wouldn't hesitate to kill anyone who had hurt her this way.

"Tom broke up with me," She utters in between her sobs. Her words acted like salt being rubbed over my open wounds.

Turns out I was also a hypocrite. I didn't kill myself.

I was helpless. I felt both like the criminal and the victim at the same time.

I hugged her back tighter, hiding my face in her hair.

"I am so sorry, Lily. I am so sorry," I whimpered and kissed the top of her head as she snuggled closer to me.

She thinks my sorries were of sympathy. No. They were my apology. But they feel hollow just like my heart and existence...

***

Out of so many editions, The Hollywood Reporter apparently, chose to put me and Tom on the same one. Seems like nature has decided to pull me inside the deepest guilt trap possible. I lock the magazine in my cupboard. I no more have any desire to look inside of it.

I haven't slept for the past twenty-four hours. I am so nervous. I feel so insecure. I want to talk about me landing a significant role to him. I know it's just me playing James Bond's younger version in a long flashback and not the real James Bond, but still...

He is the only one capable of calming my nerves after my mum. But sometimes mum couldn't, sometimes it's not her field of expertise. Sometimes only a friend could help you.

Tom was roasting marshmallows in this garden when I entered and sat beside him.

"What's up champ?" He says, not even looking at me.

I was quiet and looking down at my lap when he finally notices and turns to look at me.

"How's it going?" He asks. I look up to meet his soft brown eyes, instantly melting at the sight.

"Not well... I dunno... I feel weird. I don't know if you will want to hear my rant but--"

"Just vent to me. My ears are always open..." He says, patting my knee.

I nod my head. He knows exactly what I want. He listened to all my rambles with zero interruptions even when my mouth was stuffed with marshmallows, without judging me or passing any opinion...

Turns out the asking for help from Tom option doesn't exist anymore, considering he had blocked me after me mentioning him in that blank music story and now my and his names are bouncing all over- #1. The old fashioned, not being used for what it was first designed for: Instagram; #2. The infamous, super political, the lifeline of democratic announcements: Twitter; and #3. The safe from boomers, modern version of fanfiction dot net: Tumblr.

The fans think they know better about our situation then what I and (probably) Tom knows.

'Tom Holland and Harrison Osterfield have unfollowed each other on Instagram!!!' reads one of the fan posts.

I didn't unfollow him, it's him who blocked me and that's how Instagram works. Our mutual following, likes, comment and tags on each other's posts are automatically removed.

'No, they haven't unfollowed each other. One of them has blocked the other!!!' reads the reblogged version.

Holy Shit! This user is far more observant (or a stalker) and knows how Instagram works. I know Tom isn't very good with the working of social media, but it also turns out that he doesn't know how this tabloid fan culture works too.

P. S. All these triple exclamation marks on the fan posts are making me freak out.

Also, I am so grateful that they all are unaware about Lily and Tom dating and their break-up, else they would have dragged her into the controversy too.

Thank God.

I have blocked the supposed tags they tag me with and limited my comment section, so I don't have to deal with any kind of questions, speculations or hate in general.

I feel bad for Tom, he hasn't done that yet. I don't even know if he knows there's an option for it. It can seriously degrade his mental health.

I wish I could tell him.

***

It's kind of awkward when people are watching you eat and in my case, my mum and my two sisters are gawking on me instead of eating their own food. Woman's stare is always intimidating and I am blessed with three female pairs of eyes on me.

"You know... You don't have to block Tom just because he broke up with me." Lily says, sitting across the dining table.

That almost made me choke on my food and drop the fork on the plate. I could already feel the glimmer of interest sparking in mum's and Charlotte's eyes. It is as if they all were planning to have this conversation with me for a long time.

But wait... Does she think that me deleting Tom from my life is because of her break-up?

Oh my god!

Was there too much miscommunication between us?

Wait...

There was no communication from my side.

"Harrison?"

It was my mum this time. She keeps her hand over my shoulder, her voice sounds super worried.

"What is it, Hazza?" She asks, lovingly. She speaks as if she knows it is more than Tom and Lily's break-up. But I don't know how to tell her...

The next moment, mum has shifted her chair near me and had engulfed me in a side hug. Soon Charlotte and Lily walked up to me and were covering me from all sides. That's when I realised that I was crying. No. I wasn't just crying, I was sobbing. It was even difficult for me to breathe.

I need air.

I excuse myself and got up. They don't ask anything, maybe in an attempt to go slow with me. I really appreciate the gesture.

***

That's how I end up in this pub, pouring my heart out to a stranger. He's carefully listening to me, while occasionally sipping his drink and nodding his head. It really feels good to be listened to. I am telling everything to him from the exact beginning and how I fell for my best friend and then he started dating my sister and then how everything came crashing down...

"That's really fucked up, friend!" He comments in his Indian accent.

He was a trans-man who found me sitting in the corner with a cigarette in my hand. I wasn't even smoking but lost in thoughts. The stick was almost going to burn my fingers when he came and slapped it away and now he was listening to everything I was saying.

And then he's narrating his own sad love story to me and oh my god it's so much worse than me, yet he's pretending that I am the worse affected.

"And that's how she killed herself and I couldn't do anything..." He finishes as I blink. Like a fish, my mouth opens and closes, I instantly gulp my beer in one go in order to not look like a fool who has nothing good and uplifting to reply.

"That's really sad..." I somehow manage to say.

"Yeah. It is..."

I seriously need to go, else I will breakdown crying. I excuse myself and leave, I am not even drunk enough which sucks.

***

There is a guy walking in front of me on the pavement and he's really really drunk, unlike me. I really want to reach home fast and lay under my soft blankets but this guy is walking, occupying the whole pavement, stumbling on his feet with every step. He stumbles harder this time, about to fall face-first on the concrete. I rush forward and catch him.

My hands feel as if they were made of hard ice when I see his face.

He chuckles, "I know you are not Harrison... but I am seeing him everywhere. So funny... haha..."

"Tom..." I whisper and he starts to cry. He seriously looks like shit. His shirt is all wet and hairs are super messy. It's hard to even see him like this. I throw my arm around his shoulder and place his hand around my neck and get him straight on his feet. I try my best to walk him to my house.

Mum was terrified of seeing Tom like this, so were Charlotte and Lily. Although, Lily helped me carry him to my room, while he was babbling some unintelligible stuff.

We lay him over my bad.

"You should change his shirt, it's really dirty," Lily suggests and walks out of the room, giving us privacy. I intake a sharp breath as I drag the half-asleep, completely drunk Tom to sit up on the bed. And before I could pull his shirt up, he's puking over my chest. I back up.

"Sorry..." He mutters and falls over the mattress.

I gotta' change my shirt too.

My hands reach to the edge of my shirt as I try to pull it up but then I see Tom, and suddenly it feels wrong. Hasn't he seen me shirtless like thousand times before? And he's not even completely conscious... Yet, I turn my back to him and change into a new jumper. Then I struggle to get Tom changed too, making him wear one of my hoodies and then throw both our dirty clothes to my laundry basket.

"You should wash your face and brush your teeth. It will feel nice..." I suggest, not sure if he was even listening to me. I again get him down on his feet and carry him to the bathroom where I splash cold water over his face. He drinks some water too. And then he's brushing his teeth, a little messily though.

As we complete, he refuses to go back to my room and instead, tries to sit on the bathroom floor, too tired to walk back. The next moment I find myself lifting him up with my arms tucked below his knees and the back of his neck. He's heavier than I anticipated but when he holds my shoulder and snuggles close to my chest with his warm breath hitting directly over my neck; my knees feel like noodles. I try my best to not look down at his face or fall down and successfully carry him back to my room and get him back on the bed.

"Haz, I need to talk about something..."

I flinch hearing Lily's voice. I turn on my feet and see her standing by my door. Warmth rushes to my face, realising- she must have seen me carrying Tom in my arms...

I swallow and walk towards her as she walks outside the room and shuts the door behind us.

She takes in a jitterybreath, "I really think..." She hesitates for a second, "Tom likes you... more than a friend and more than how he likes me..."

"I-I-I---" I try to speak but only a ragged stammer comes out, not expecting this conversation at all.

"He always talks about you and when he finds me wearing your clothes..." She fidgets with her fingers, "He gives me extra attention and... asks me not to remove them while we have... sex..." She pauses, looking embarrassed. I try not to react and stay still, listening carefully.

"I think the only reason he was dating me was that I look like you..." She finishes, knocking out all the air from my lungs.

"Why-why are you telling this to me?" Out of a million things I could say, I chose this.

"Because..." She looks straight at my face, "No one looks at a person as you look at Tom unless they are madly in love with them."

"But then why did he date you?" I ask with a heavy heart.

"... Cause it's easy to be... straight?" She speaks, her lips pressing into a thin line. I think for a moment.

"B-but what about you---"

"It's all about you and him right now. And anyway, he loves you and not me. You don't want your sister to end up with a man who doesn't really love her, right?" She asks, hopefully.

I inhale and nod.

"And I won't want my brother to not end up with the man he really loves..."

***

For the first time, I don't feel guilty, rather I feel some burden lifting off my chest. I walk inside the room, remembering my conversation with Lily. Tom was fast asleep on the bed and that makes me smile. I take out a blanket and cover him with it, switching off the lights. As I was trying to move away, his hand grasps my wrist making goosebumps rise over my skin.

"Can't we even... not share the bed anymore?" He speaks, sounding tired.

Suddenly, I am again feeling guilty. I turn on my feet, his hand was still gripping my wrist when I get into the sheets beside him. I prevent looking at his face. I am too weak for that stuff, especially when he sounds already half-sober.

His hand slowly slips off me and I clench my eyes shut.

***

I am sure that I was lying on the bed unable to sleep for several hours now. It's raining outside, pouring heavier with each passing minute. But it's better than the silence because seriously when the raindrops weren't tapping against my windowpane, all I could hear was my jittering heartbeat, heavy breathing and the sound of Tom's own breathing.

I shift underneath me, turning on my side to finally look at Tom.

Now that he's sleeping, he won't catch me staring, right?

He was sleeping on his side with his arm tucked below his head, facing me. My fingers slowly slide across the skin of his face as I breathe in deeper and rest my palm over his cheek. My thumb softly strokes his smooth skin while my pinky was playing with his ear.

His eyes flutter open, lashes resembling butterfly wings. Those freaking pools of chocolate. Once again, I was frozen on the spot.

How fair it is that people can be naturally born with eyes as soft and as brown as those?

"Haz..." He whispers my name and I feel the knots in my stomach tying.

"Why did you run...?" His voice is quiet but sounds serious. He seriously demands an explanation. But I am just staring into his eyes, not speaking anything.

Because I did some outrageous friendship destroying shit and running away was my way of escape, albeit, it just made everything much worse...

"I am sorry," That's what I say, finally. He huffs at my words.

Then he shifts closer to me, my heart clenching tighter than ever, my armpits sweating disgustingly.

"That's not the question I asked..." He says, wriggling a hand out from under the covers and putting it over my face, stroking my skin and playing with my ear, just like I was doing a few moments ago.

I lick my dry lips, swallowing softly.

"Okay, wrong question..." He smiles lightly, "Why did you kiss me?"

His grin appears to tease me. I am already overwhelmed by the closeness when he's asking me such questions. I try to divert the question as I avert my gaze, suddenly unclear of how long an eye-contact should be maintained.

"I thought you would be mad at me... You blocked me and---"

And then Tom shoves his head forward, pressing his lips against mine. My mouth splits open at the contact, an embarrassing puff of air escaping.

Tom's other hand is quick to find my arm from below the sheets as he slips his fingers through mine, while his other hand is busy tracing a thumb across my jaw. It's weirdly soothing. The sound of the rain tapping against my window makes it even better.

My eyes are shut as he tilts his head, pressing his lips tighter, his tongue licking at my bottom lip. He squeezes my hand, making me gasp. He sees the perfect opportunity, sliding it inside my mouth while I am a whimpering mess. His breath smells and tastes of mint from the toothpaste, eliciting tingles in my abdomen.

I lurch forward, trying to kiss him back but he's swift to pull away, lips separating with a soft popping sound. My eyes flutter open at the loss of contact.

"Ask me why I kissed you?" He mumbles against my lips with a big, confident smirk.

Son of a...

How can I ever forget about the surge of confidence levels in him after there is some alcohol in his system?

"Ask..." He repeats, more forcefully this time making me look directly into his eyes.

I breathe in, "Why..."

He raises his eyebrows and I fight the urge to roll my eyes back.

"Why did you kiss me?"

He chuckles and softly pats my cheek, pulling away his hand from my face but the other one continues to hold my hand in his.

"... 'coz I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you."

"Did... Did you think of Lily?"

His face turns serious at the question, almost sad. He shakes his head.

"No..." He pauses, looking at me sternly. His Adam's apple bobbles in his throat, "When you are with me I forget about everything else."

A tear escapes his eye, sliding though the side of his eye and falling directly over the pillow. He clenches his eyes shut, squeezing my hand tighter.

Drunk Tom is also emotionally unstable...

"I am sorry Haz. I can't love her when I am already in love with you." His voice sounds so wrecked, so broken... I just pull him to my chest, pulling my hand out of his grip and wrapping it across his torso.

"I understand why you ran... And yet I kissed you again," He speaks in between his sobs.

I don't know why but his words made me smile. Maybe because he understands, yet he did it. It's so courageous. He's so brave. Like it's us against the world.

"Lily understands," I tell him. He stops sobbing abruptly, his body freezes as if he's unable to comprehend my words.

"Huh?" He asks in disbelief, pulling away from my chest and looking into my eyes.

"Yes. She does. She just told it to me." I smile wider, swiping the tears off his face while he blinks.

"Really?" He utters, voice creaky.

"Yes!"

He keeps staring at me like a frightened animal. He is still not believing me. It made me chuckle.

"Yes, div! Come 'on just believe me!" I insist.

His mouth parts, tongue poking out. He's silent for a minute as I notice the changing expressions on his face.

"She did not!" He exclaims.

"She did!"

"Oh god. Am I this obvious?" He laughs, probably assuming my conversation with Lily to be something funny. Not his fault though. I cut him some slack, considering all life he's been surrounded by three brothers in an easy relationship not the complicated and competitive one I share with Lily. Although with Charlotte it's all super smooth.

Still, the sound of his laughter feels good. I can't complain.

This time I pull him into a kiss interrupting his giggles. I am going to keep kissing him till his lips swell. But all we both are doing is smiling into the kiss, unable to hold the contact even for a few seconds.

But then again, now I have plenty of time to kiss him like that later. Right now, it's this moment that matters. It's Tom who matters.

No more holding back...

_______

Taz taglist: @hazmyheart​ // @justasmisunderstoodasloki​ // @tommysparker​ // @just-a-littlebit-of-everything​ // @thenoddingbunny-blog​ // @calltothewild​​ // @viagracex​ // @httplayer​ // @slytherin-chaser​ // @perspectiveparker​ // @catkeeperthetall​ // @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ // @its-a-leap-of-faith-kid​ // @emmaloo21​ //

#hollerfield #hollerfield fanfiction #taz #torrison #tarrison #harrison osterfield #tom holland #tom x haz #tom holland x harrison osterfield #haz osterfield #tom holland fanfiction #harrison osterfield fanfiction #tom holland imagine #harrison osterfield imagine

[splendidlyimperfect]

critical hit - chapter 3 [they're taking the hobbits to isengard]

When Sting tells Natsu that one of his friends from school is going to be joining their weekly Dungeons & Dragons game, Natsu isn’t impressed - their table is already full. But while Natsu and Gray’s in-game characters clash completely, Natsu finds that real-life Gray might not be that bad after all.

Chapter Summary: D&D night gets unexpectedly cancelled, but Natsu wants to hang out with Gray anyway.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Pairings: Natsu/Gray, Sting/Rogue

Tags: Modern AU, Dungeons & Dragons, Role-Playing Games, Awkward Flirting, ADHD Natsu, Geek Gray

*i know i haven’t updated this in two whole years (my bad) but i finally got inspiration so thanks for your patience and enjoy <3*

*link to ao3 in the comments cause tumblr keeps fucking up my posts*

-----

“I’m stoked for this fight tonight!” Natsu grinned at Gray, who was curled up in the passenger seat of Natsu’s car, looking out the window at the slowly setting sun. “We’re gonna kick this thing’s ass.”

“I dunno about that,” Gray replied, fiddling with his necklace. Natsu couldn’t quite make out what the pendant was. “We’re all nearly dead and out of magic. We might be fucked.”

“Pfff,” Natsu scoffed, pulling out of the Starbucks parking lot and heading towards home. “Maybe with that attitude. Don’t worry, we’ll pull a win out of this. We always do! Did I tell you about the time we dropped a house on a dragon?”

Gray shook his head and Natsu launched into the story, complete with wild hand gestures and sound effects. He could feel Gray’s gaze on him as he listened intently, even when the retelling took several unexpected detours. It made something warm grow in Natsu’s chest. Most people in his life were used to his rambling, chalking it up to his ADHD and excitable nature. They usually tuned him out after a while, though, or nodded along while drifting off to something else.

Gray listened, though. He’d shifted in his seat to face Natsu, knee tucked under his leg, coffee held between both hands, and Natsu could feel the deliberate way he followed Natsu’s words. It made Natsu feel important.

He’d just wrapped up another story where they had accidentally created a super-intelligent zombie when both of their phones pinged.

“It’s Sting,” Gray said. “So sorry guys, I can’t make it tonight, work called me in last minute. Can we reschedule for next week?”

Natsu felt a flood of disappointment wash through him as he glanced over at Gray, whose brow was furrowed as he stared at his phone. He was so cute – he had gotten his eyebrow pierced at some point during the week, and it made him even more adorable.

“Well,” Natsu said, chewing on his lip. “That sucks.”

An awkward silence filled the car. Natsu really didn’t want to drive Gray home – he’d been waiting all week to see him, and when Natsu had picked him up, the shy smile Gray had given him had made Natsu feel breathless.

“Well, I don’t—did you wanna, uh…” Gray trailed off, tugging at a loose thread from the hole in his jeans. “I mean I don’t have any, uh, plans? Obviously, since we had—I mean, so maybe we, um, we could…”

“They put all the Lord of the Rings movies on Netflix,” Natsu said quickly, before he could chicken out. For once he was glad for the lack of filter between his brain and his mouth. “Wanna get takeout and watch one of them?”

Before the anxiety could set in, Gray glanced up and gave him a soft smile. “Yeah,” he said. “I’d like that.”

~

Gray’s favorite food turned out to be sushi.

“You’ve never had sashimi before?” he asked once they’d gotten back to Natsu’s place and unpacked the takeout onto the living room table.

“Is that the rice?” Natsu asked as he settled down cross-legged on the floor. “Or the fish?”

“The fish,” Gray said, pointing at the slices of raw salmon. “It’s good, I promise.”

Natsu gave him a dubious look, then frowned at the chopsticks that Gray handed him. “You’re gonna think I’m totally uncultured,” he said as he peeled off the wrapper, “but I’ve never used chopsticks.”  

“It’s not hard,” Gray reassured him. Natsu fumbled with the wooden sticks, glaring at them as he tried to get them to move. “Here,” Gray said, moving closer to Natsu and reaching out for his hands. “Like this.”

Natsu’s breath caught in his throat when Gray’s fingers touched his, settling the chopsticks between them and showing him where his thumb should go. Gray’s hands were cold, and each small touch made Natsu’s heart jump. His cheeks flushed hot when he dropped the chopsticks again, and this time it had nothing to do with clumsiness.

“I, uh, might have to stick to forks,” Natsu said with a nervous laugh. Gray was close enough to him that he could smell his shampoo – something light and fruity that made Natsu want to lean in and run his fingers through Gray’s hair. It looked so soft.

As if reading Natsu’s thoughts, Gray pushed his hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear. Natsu’s eyes followed the movement, and when Gray’s gaze met his, he quickly looked back down at the food, hoping the heat in his cheeks wasn’t visible.

“That’s okay,” Gray said, and it took Natsu a second to realize that he was talking about the chopsticks and not the staring. “You can eat the rolls with your fingers.” He pointed at the second container. “Those ones don’t have fish in them. Just yams.”

“I’ll try the fish,” Natsu said before he could stop himself. He was glad Sting wasn’t here to tell Gray that Natsu had sworn off seafood ten years ago after going fishing with their grandfather and crying when he’d had to gut the salmon they’d caught.

It ended up being better than he’d expected, despite the strange texture.

“I haven’t had sushi in a while,” Gray admitted once they were done the meal. “I ate it every day in Japan.”

“You lived in Japan?” Natsu asked as he stuffed the styrofoam containers back into the plastic bags.

Gray nodded. “Yeah, I was there for an exchange program for a year. I’m from Montréal originally, though.” The soft way he said the word let Natsu finally place the soft accent he’d noticed every once in a while. Of course Gray was bilingual. Was there anything about him that wasn’t perfect?

“That’s awesome,” Natsu said. “When did you move here?”

“Six months ago, for school.” Gray crossed his legs, tucking his feet underneath him as he shifted on the couch cushion. “It’s really different here.”

“I can imagine,” Natsu said. “Have you made it down to Gastown yet? Rogue likes sushi and he says there’s lots of good places down there.”

“Oh, no, I haven’t.” Gray smiled as Natsu’s cat Happy hopped up onto the couch and rubbed himself against Gray’s legs. “I, um… I haven’t really been out too much. By myself.” He ran his finger behind Happy’s ears, who purred happily. “I’m a little—I get kind of anxious. Sometimes. To go alone.”

“I could take you,” Natsu offered before he could stop himself. “There’s so many places here you’d love – Granville Island’s amazing, they’ve got markets and this awesome café, and you’d probably like the art gallery there too. And if you haven’t been to the beach – well, beaches, there’s so many of them, and if you go to Stanley Park you can walk or take a bike, and there’s a…” He trailed off at the overwhelmed expression on Gray’s face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“I’d like that,” Gray said, keeping his eyes fixed on Happy as a small smile crept across his face. “To go, I mean. With you.”

“Oh.” Natsu couldn’t hold in a grin. “Cool. It’s a date, then.”

Gray finally looked up at him and Natsu’s cheeks flushed when he realized what he’d said. Before Gray could reply, Natsu grabbed the remote from the table and thrust it into Gray’s hands.

“You can, uh, pick one. Of the movies,” he said as he pushed himself to his feet. “On Netflix. I’m gonna make popcorn.”

Natsu darted into the kitchen and exhaled, rubbing his face. His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket.

holy pain in the ass: you’d better be on a date, loser

Natsu groaned – of course Sting had done this on purpose, the asshole.

pyro-manic: you’re a jackass and a liar

holy pain in the ass: i think you mean ‘you’re welcome’

Natsu glared at the screen for a minute, trying to come up with something witty but eventually just shoving his phone back in his pocket.

When he headed back into the living room with the popcorn, Gray was still petting Happy, who had curled up in his lap and was purring contentedly. He’d taken off his hoodie and had rolled the sleeves of his World of Warcraft shirt up just enough that Natsu could see the never tell me the odds tattoo that wound around his wrist.

Natsu tried not to stare. Everything about Gray made him feel like he was thirteen with his first crush all over again. He’d dated other people before, obviously, but none of them were quite like Gray. There was something about him – a shy but carefree enthusiasm for the things he loved that drew Natsu in. It didn’t matter what kind of pop culture references Natsu made, Gray picked up on all of them. He could finish the movie quotes Natsu had memorized, knew all the best cards in Magic, had seen every anime that Natsu loved, and didn’t even tease him about his taste in music.

Natsu’s phone buzzed in his pocket again, drawing him out of his thoughts, and he ignored what he was sure was another text from Sting.

“I hope you don’t mind the subtitles,” Natsu said to Gray, gesturing at the screen as he sat down next to – but not quite touching – Gray. “I always have them on. It’s like, a thing, with my ADHD – auditory processing something? It just makes it hard to catch everything sometimes, the subtitles help.”

Gray nodded, scratching behind Happy’s ears. “It doesn’t bother me,” he said. “I usually have them on, too. It helped me when I was learning English.”

“Awesome.” Natsu took the remote and hit ‘play,’ then settled back against the couch as ‘Fellowship of the Ring’ started to play.

Natsu was glad he’d seen the movie at least ten times, because the only thing he could focus on was Gray. He couldn’t stop thinking about Sting’s text, about the word date, about the fact that he hadn’t felt like this about anyone in years. Natsu’s life was full of people – he was outgoing by nature – but none of them made him feel like Gray did.

They finished the popcorn quickly and Natsu leaned forward to set the bowl on the coffee table. When he settled back into the couch, he was certain Gray leaned into him a little. He held his breath, shifting as if to get comfortable, and ended up right next to Gray with their shoulders pressed together. It sent a thrill through Natsu and he tried his best to ignore the part of him that insisted he was not a teenager anymore and it was silly to get worked up over this. He tried to focus on the movie instead.

“You have my sword,” Aragon said on screen.

“And you have my bow.”

“And my axe.”

“And my vuvuzela,” Gray murmured absently.  

Natsu burst out laughing, immediately struck by the ridiculous video he hadn’t seen since in years. “Oh my god,” he said, nudging Gray’s shoulder with his as Gray’s cheeks turned pink. “You’re such a dork.” Before Gray could take offense, he added, “In a good way. I know exactly what you’re talking about and now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the night.”

Gray laughed. “I just can’t take that scene seriously anymore,” he admitted. “My sister and I used to watch all of these movies on Christmas and quote along to it… it got pretty silly. And took forever ‘cause we’d watch all the extended editions in one sitting.” He played with his necklace as he talked, keeping his eyes on the screen.

Natsu was about to ask why they didn’t do it anymore but stopped himself when he remembered what Sting had mentioned when he’d first invited Gray to join D&D. Gray’s sister had died unexpectedly just before he’d moved here, and Gray didn’t like talking about it.

“We can watch them all if you want,” Natsu offered instead. Gray’s expression shifted and Natsu wasn’t quite sure what it meant – he was hard to read even when they weren’t talking about personal things. But then the corner of his lip curled up in a tiny smile and he nodded.

“If you can sit still that long,” he teased.

Natsu laughed. “Yeah, I might end up upside-down or something at some point. But that’s okay.”

Gray’s smile got a little wider. “I’d like that,” he said softly.

“Okay,” Natsu said. He tried his best to keep a huge grin from creeping across his face. “Cool. Yeah. Me too.” 

~

Natsu managed to sit fairly still until about halfway through ‘The Two Towers.’ They’d had plenty of breaks – including one where they’d pulled up ‘They’re Taking the Hobbits to Isengard’ on Gray’s phone and sang along until they were both laughing hysterically – but it was getting difficult to not fidget. He was about to ask if they could take another quick break when Gray shifted and the back of his hand brushed Natsu’s.

Natsu immediately froze, all restless thoughts banished from his head as he focused on the sensation of Gray’s knuckles against his. They’d been moving closer and further apart all evening, bumping shoulders and knees, but this didn’t feel like an accidental touch. Something about it was deliberate, and this time Gray wasn’t moving away.

Heat sparked in Natsu’s stomach and he stared down at their hands, hoping to hell that he wasn’t misreading Gray’s intentions as he returned the touch. He heard Gray’s soft intake of breath, and several nearly unbearable seconds passed before Gray shifted closer and slid their fingers together. He was warm against Natsu’s side, and when he carefully tipped his head onto Natsu’s shoulder, Natsu was certain that Gray could hear the frantic slamming of his heart.

He exhaled as quietly as he could as he ran his thumb down the side of Gray’s hand, enjoying the soft noise that Gray made in response. His hair tickled Natsu’s cheek, soft and fine, and when Natsu rested his cheek against the top of Gray’s head, Gray hummed happily and cuddled closer.

The uncertainty that had been following Natsu around all night immediately vanished as he let himself relax against Gray, squeezing his hand gently as they pressed against each other. It felt so right. Natsu hadn’t realized how long it had been since he’d cuddled anyone until they were both comfortable and breathing in tandem. He felt more relaxed than he had in years.

The movie kept playing but Natsu barely paid attention. His brain, always in overdrive, immediately started to whether or not he should kiss Gray, if that was moving too fast, if he should maybe put his arm around Gray or whether or not that would be a cheesy high school romcom move. Gray solved the issue a few minutes later by stretching and nudging Natsu’s arm up, then curling up against him.

“I can hear you thinking,” Gray said quietly as the battle for Helm’s Deep raged on in the background. “Or panicking. I can’t tell.”

“I’m not panicking.” Natsu wasn’t sure if he was lying or not.

“Okay.” Gray rested his head against Natsu’s collarbone. “Good.”

The movie came to an end not long after that, but Gray didn’t move. He ran his fingers up Natsu’s arm instead, touching the scar that Natsu had gotten after a motorcycle mishap years ago. Gray traced patterns between Natsu’s freckles, then ran his hand back down and touched Natsu’s palm.

“Are we—”

“Is this—”

They both laughed as they talked at the same time, and Gray shifted until he was looking up at Natsu and they were nearly cheek-to-cheek. Warmth sparked in Natsu’s stomach and he leaned in, nudging Gray’s nose with his own. There was a moment of anticipation where neither of them moved, and then Gray closed the distance and pressed their lips together.

The heat in Natsu’s chest spread as Gray kissed him, rushing across his cheeks and down to his fingertips. He made a soft sound, tipping his head and pulling Gray closer until they were facing each other. Slowly, he reached out and brushed Gray’s hair out of his face, running his fingers through the silky strands. It was just as soft as it looked.

When Gray finally pulled back, his cheeks were flushed pink and he didn’t quite meet Natsu’s eyes.

“I, um…” He bit his lip uncertainly.

“I really like you,” Natsu said quickly before he could change his mind. “Like. A lot.”

“Oh.” A small smile worked its way across Gray’s face. “Good. I like you too. Also a lot.”

Natsu laughed, leaning back in and kissing Gray’s nose. “Sting did this on purpose,” he said, gesturing to his phone that was sitting on the coffee table. “He’s an idiot, but I’m kinda glad he did.”

“Me too.”

Natsu ran his fingers through Gray’s hair again, then pulled him in for another kiss. It was soft and sweet, but Natsu’s stomach still sparked with excitement at the touch. Gray was warm everywhere they pressed together, and Natsu never wanted to let go.

Gray pressed one more kiss to Natsu’s lips, then his cheek, then pressed their foreheads together. “I haven’t dated anyone in a long time,” he admitted, cheeks flushed pink. “I just… can we take it slow?”

“Of course,” Natsu said quickly. He kissed the tip of Gray’s nose. “I’m just happy to—I like spending time with you. And kissing. That’s good—great—too. Really great.”

Gray laughed, squeezing Natsu’s hand and kissing him again. Then he looked back at the TV screen where Netflix was suggesting ‘Return of the King’ as their next film.

“You wanna keep watching?” Natsu asked. “I promised you a marathon.” He looked at the clock, which already read 2:47 a.m.

“Yes? But I know you have to work tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” Natsu reassured him, grinning. “I actually took tomorrow off because today was supposed to be our last D&D session and I thought it might take all night. Plus, I’m not tired.” He kissed Gray’s cheek again. “Maybe just a little distracted.”

“Just a little?” Gray ran his fingers through Natsu’s hair and surprised him by tugging on it gently.

“Maybe a lot,” Natsu admitted. He ran his hand down Gray’s side, then pulled him closer until he was almost in Natsu’s lap. “But I’m okay with it.”

~

They both fell asleep on the couch before ‘Return of the King’ was over. When they woke up the next morning in each other’s arms, Gray blushed furiously, but eagerly returned Natsu’s morning kisses.

“I guess I’d better get you home,” Natsu said as he ran his fingers through the tangles in Gray’s hair. “You’ve got class soon, hey?”

Gray nodded. “I’d rather stay here,” he admitted.

“Look, I’m happy to kiss you all day, but I’m also not gonna be the reason you fail your classes.”

Gray raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ll have you know that I have a 4.0 GPA.”

“Guess I’m dating a genius then, huh?” Natsu paused. “Are we? Dating? I mean, is that what you wanna—”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Natsu grinned, kissing Gray’s nose, then nudged him off the couch. “C’mon,” he said as he sat up and stretched. “Let’s get you some coffee and get you home.”

Natsu’s pantry was nearly empty, so they stopped for coffee and bagels and ate quietly on the drive back to Gray’s place, holding hands across the console. When they pulled into the dorm parking lot, Natsu let go regretfully and leaned over for a kiss.

“See you on Sunday?” he asked, then shook his head. “No, that’s too long. How about Tuesday? I can take you to Gastown and show you around.”

Gray’s face lit up and he nodded. “Yeah,” he said, smiling shyly at Natsu and squeezing his fingers. “I’d like that.”

“Perfect.” Natsu kissed him again, tasting coffee on his lips. “It’s a date.”    

#fairy tail #gratsu #natsu dragneel #gray fullbuster #fanfic #ft fanfic #d&d #dungeons & dragons #fluff #adhd natsu #geek gray #new chapter #update #my fic

[chaoticspacefam]

2020 In Review: Wordcount Tag

I was tagged for this by @actualanxiousswampwitch​ , thank you! I’m not sure who’s already done or been tagged for this cause I am, once again, late to the party LOL but I shall (no pressure and sorry if you’ve already done it!) tag: @rainofaugustsith​ , @darth-bagel​ , @thatmmolesbian​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ and anybody else who wants to do this. Yes, I promise I mean you!

Words: 45,314

Published: 0 (I’m not counting the couple of Six Sentence tags I’ve gotten, they’re snippets of an unfinished piece & are included below instead :), or roleplay replies, cause that feels like cheating lol.) I actually wrote a lot more than I thought I had, this is a rough guesstimate as well, as my oneshot WIPs tend to be all over the place across something like 6 different documents, some of which have existed since 2018, so I had to guess at how far up to count from the end for some of them, but I think it’s a fair guesstimate XD I also have included lore/worldbuilding docs in this because that was a 3-month long Lockdown 1.0 Boredom/”Canon is a trash fire so I’m ignoring that and making up my own lore” passion project and I’m goddamn proud of how much I wrote for that. It’s the most I’ve written in one stretch (think I finished it over a span of 3 nights or so, once I’d done all the research and made all the notes ofc ^^)

Not Published: 45,314

The Breakdown:

swtor - 45,314

for creeping shadows (my main longfic/part one of the subterfugeverse series) - 1,553  - Aria, stop being difficult! *shakes fists* XD

oneshots - 16,223

lore/worldbuilding (for subterfugeverse naturally) - 23,001 (is this ALL tomato alien lore? pretty much, yes, yes it is :’D ~400 words is “the WIP reworked timeline to correlate my worldbuilding with the canon timeline that was released”, but 98% is just...me thinking way too much about Purebloods and how they deserved way better goddamn lore. I blame @fluffynexu ‘s amazing tomato worldbuilding posts,  reading them when I went looking for “canon” lore one day for the rp is what got me started down that rabbithole (it’s awesome and if you haven’t already you should totally go check hers out too :DD), I had a “fuck you then canon I’ll do it myself too >:L” moment and once I started I couldn’t stop until I’d crapped out literally over 20k words on the subject *whispering* thank you LOL)

zephyrverse au bonus oneshots - 4,537 (stuff I wrote to fill in time gaps or “just cause I had a plot bunny”, relating to mine and k-christine’s zephyrverse au rp. None of these will likely be posted publicly, but they still deserve to be counted as words I wrote this year :’D

As you can see, most of my “muse” this year came from sporadic oneshots :’D The Ahaszaai twins also properly plot-bunnied their way into my brain in late 2019 and haven’t stopped making a nuisance of themselves the whole fucking year. Every time I tried to carry on with a chapter, one of the two of them would pop up like “Nooo write about ME! pay attention to ME!” - Yes, Ni’kasi, I will get to you this year, I promise XD

New Things I Tried:

Just Writing. Not worrying about whether “it wasn’t part of the next chapter” or “it comes from a part in the story that I’m nowhere near close to posting yet”. If I felt like writing something, or for a specific pairing/feeling/scene, whatever. I wrote until I ran outta muse juice. Yeah, it meant I didn’t technically “finish” anything this year BUT - the important thing is I wrote stuff. and that’s all that really matters, eh? :’D

Polyam ships! May not seem like a big deal but I spent a long time talking myself out of them because of internalised toxic monogamy and finally saying “you know what, fuck it! I can ship three or more people together and it can still be a perfectly wholesome, healthy and loving relationship and that’s okay” was a BIG thing for me this year.

Dialogue Scripts: which I didn’t count as wordcount because really it’s just word vomit of general tone/inflection and dialogue that I came up with right before falling asleep which I didn’t want to lose. Basically, if an exchange or a particularly punchy or moving line of dialogue popped into my brain but I wasn’t ready to write the whole scene that it fit into out, but didn’t want to forget the line(s). I wrote it out in movie script/script-style roleplay fashion e.g. Character’s Name: (emotion, hand gestures etc.) [Dialogue here] and so on. I know this is probably a well known trick of the trade, but I never took it seriously until this year. Seriously, do it. It’s great.

Favorite Thing I Wrote:

Hmmm, a snippet for Andronikos/Ni’kasi that I started this week which isn’t posted yet (saving it for this week’s Six Sentence Sunday so look out for it! :D) was pretty fun to work on, I love their dynamic and Kas is suprisingly fun to write for.

Also the Aria/Vano proposal scene that I posted a snippet for the week before last. I’m having great fun with that scene, and I really enjoy putting a non-serious spin on the classic “proposal scene” tropes. Can’t wait to finish it, though it may be a while before the full one goes up on AO3, as it depends whether it ends up fitting in as part of the mainfic or as an additional oneshot

And I have a D’leah/Kissai oneshot that I need to give another once-over before I finally yeet it onto AO3 and Tumblr for you guys to see :’D

Favorite Fic I Read:

@sleepswithvillains Eleanora/Quinn fic, Helplessly Hoping. I’m horribly behind on chapters and I gotta catch up and read the finale this week, but it’s been a helluva great ride and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story! <3

Also The Invitation collab with @tishinada featuring Zas and Fiona had me squealing, I can’t wait to catch up on HH and see more of these two, they’re adorable ;-; @a-muirehen​ ‘s Relu/Merkara series of course! I’m a complete sucker for (friends to lovers to in Ariano’s case but yea pfpfpf) enemies to lovers ships and these two are just so good, I am on the edge of my seat every time we get a new snippet for them, ngl (grimace emoji) @darth-bagel ‘s Sylvas/Graz’zt and Sylvas/Liz/Rilfaen snippets which they’ve been spoiling me with on Discord @mercurypilgrim ‘s Ven’fir/Quinn AU oneshots, Cloudbank (Western was a particular favourite, but all are very good!) and of course @rainofaugustsith ‘s Lana/Viri updates are always fantastic, some personal favourites from this year were Almost There & Memory of Healing :3 (I totally still go back to read Commander & Advisor too sometimes, getting to see Viri be a little diabolical and messing with “MiNiSTeR LoRMaN!” was and still is my favourite thing XD)

If I’ve left you out I’m sorry!! These were the ones that stuck out in my memory, but I’ve loved everyone’s writing this year, it’s been great :3

Writing Goals:

to actually finish and post chapter 8 & 9 of Creeping Shadows. Then we’ll get to the meat and potatoes of the story and maybe Aria will stop being a brat and fighting me every time I try to stick to a semi-regular update schedule Get off my butt, finalise the name and get started on Ni’kasi’s part of the Subterfugeverse story. Maybe run the updates in-tandem with Creeping Shadows but idk if I want to wait till after CS is done before I start posting Kas’s side, or do them side-by-side yet, we’ll see ;) Keep writing! I know better than to pressure myself by setting a specific word count goal, that’s never worked well in the past

At least 2 chapters of each of the works mentioned above would be great though, more would be better! We’ll see how I go

Words of Thanks:

honestly, to everybody in the fandom I’ve met this year. Anybody that I follow, thank you for being there and engaging with me and/or posting amazing content for me to look at! I came over from deviantART where the SWTOR fandom is incredibly small and generally quite inactive and the contrast since moving over here has been incredibly uplifting. I very nearly cancelled Creeping Shadows and stopped posting fic for my SWTORverse altogether because I got next to no engagement on dA and it was very disheartening to the point where I felt I could enjoy the game and the rp partners I had, but the solo projects I’d put so much thought, time and love into already weren’t worth continuing. You guys took that spark and kept it going and I really don’t have enough words to say how grateful I am for that. Even if I haven’t published much this year, making posts on this tumblr, interacting with everyone and working on lore, plot points and so on for Subterfugeverse has kept me going through the Hellish Year of Nightmares that was 2020 <3

to the amazing new friends I’ve made in this past year, who have listened to me ramble about headcanons, character backstories, writing snippets (and rambled/sent some back), keep being awesome: @walk-ng-d-saster , @darth-bagel , @kyber-heart , @deepseacritter , @thedinalixlegacy to further friends and meme tag buddies, I get so excited every time I see a mention for a new meme or ask game in my inbox, so thank you!! : @mimabeann , @palepinkycat , @a-master-procrastinator , @raven-of-domain-kwaad , @actualanxiousswampwitch , @thatmmolesbian , @a-muirehen to my regular commentors/rebloggers/likers/askbox lurkers, I see every one of you and every time your users pop up I grin like a kid in a toy shop: @starlightjedi , @sparkles-and-rust , @wilvarin-chan , @sunsetofdoom , @ask-an-andalite , @thelastenvoyyy . @lyrishadow and more because Tumblr only goes so far back and I have the memory of Swiss Cheese. If you regularly comment, like, reblog, or anything, from me, know that I see you, and I love and appreciate you for it! <3

I couldn’t possibly remember to tag everyone and I promise if I missed you out it’s not because I hate you! Anxiety just sometimes be a bitch and I don’t wanna look like a clown calling someone a “friend” if I’m not explicitly sure we are, in fact, friends. I think you’re all awesome and I’m so glad to have moved over here and met you all <3

#long post #wordcount year review tag #elven's writing: stats #repost bc i goofed some links woops sorry everyone #^^; #will i eventually post any of this stuff? yes! #i will. i just...don't know *when* the time will be right for most of it hahaha #the only bits i won't post are the zephyrverse-specific oneshots cause i just don't feel like i want to #but everything else will (eventually) in some capacity be thrown into the void for all of you to read #shameless friend appreciation post #shameless mutual and follower appreciation post #<3 #swtor sort of

[officialaquamarine]

Wish Upon a Star ~Dance and Wishes~ Event Card R Miette: My Wish?! (sprite edit with assets from: LLSIF, FEF, and Twst)

--

Miette sighed, the end of her pencil tapping the wishing star on her desk. This wasn’t her first Star Sending, but it was the first time she wasn’t doing some public or publicized ceremony. The past couple years and her group-mates had all made their wishes public. This year, she didn’t have to wish for cute stage outfits, or to do a great song, or get another win on a music show. She could wish for whatever she wanted. One thing immediately came to mind: I want to know what it's like to be normal. To be free.

And yet, that wish made her stomach churn. It would be better to use her wish for someone else, but she’s essentially thrown away wishes year after year. Would it be so bad to have one for herself?

Knock, knock. Miette jumped out of her chair at the sudden noise. She hurried over to her door, taking a peek through the peep hole. It was Deuce Spade, a boy from class 1-A. They weren’t in the same class, but he seemed to hang around Jack a lot. And Jack seemed kind enough. He was dressed in very pretty blue and cream outfit with glittering sequin stars. It reminded her of things she had to wear for past stages.

Miette opened the door and as soon as they locked eyes, Deuce’s face turned bright red. Oh, so he was one of those types of guys, wasn’t he? Shy, didn’t talk to girls a lot, and the fact she was famous probably made him even more flustered. Just a regular guy she’d meet during meet and greets for her group. And like those other guys, Miette gave him a warm smile.

“Can I help you with something?” she asked sweetly. He visibly swallowed, face somehow getting redder. Against the cream tunic of his outfit, his flushed face really stood out. His clothes… Miette vaguely remembered the Star Sending assembly. Deuce was chosen as a stargazer, wasn’t he?

“What’s your wish? Er! Uh, I-I’m Deuce De- Spade, Deuce Space. Spade! Deuce Spade!” Miette swallowed a laughed. Poor thing must be really nervous.

“I’ll go get my wishing star for you. Just give me a moment, Deuce.” She let herself genuinely grin as soon as she had her back turned. He was kind of cute, wasn’t he? She didn’t normally like nervous wrecks, but there was something about Deuce that she couldn’t put her finger on. Careful, a voice in her head warned her. You don’t know him. Stop thinking he’s cute.

Deuce was a little less red as she came back to the door. His eyes (weren’t they such a pretty shade of blue?) were on her. It wasn’t invasive; if anything, he looked like a dear in the headlights. But perhaps less scared for his life and more… in awe? Well, that wasn’t new to her.

“Uh…” Crap, she had to make a wish. With Deuce watching her, the pressure was mounting. She really couldn’t make a selfish wish, could she? The air grew a little awkward as she struggled with thinking of something.

“Er, um… I’m sorry, I don’t know what to wish for,” she nervously laughed.

“That’s fine! I can wait!” he said enthusiastically, a warm smile on his face. Her heart melted just a little. But then again, she was always a sucker for boys with sweet smiles.

“I don’t want to hold you up. You’re probably busy getting other people’s wishes, right?” she said.

“I’ve got all the time in the world for you! Er, I, uh, I-I can wait! It’d be more of a hassblem – hassle to come back here. Not that I’d think of it like that!” He kept going on, but with more weight on her shoulders, Miette wracked her brain for a good wish.

“Uh, I wish that I could have a cool outfit like yours!” she blurted out. In a second, her star emitted a silvery light. Deuce blinked once. Twice.

“I… I don’t know how to do that…” he admitted quietly. “But don’t worry! I’ll get you something like this!”

“You don’t have to make my wish come true!” she said hurriedly. Gosh, why couldn’t she have wished for a cake or something?! Now Deuce was rambling and fretting. This wouldn’t have happened if she had just wished for something simple!

“Deuce, calm down. I’ll take care of it.” Miette jumped as a tall guy with glasses suddenly appeared beside him.

“I can handle this!” Deuce said in a hushed whisper that wasn’t really quiet at all. The guy ignored him and turned to Miette.

“You want a stargazer outfit?” he asked.

“Uh, yes please!” He pulled out his magic pen and with a wave, her clothes transformed into ones like his and Deuces. “Thank you very much!”

“You’re welcome. Deuce, I’m heading on to the other dorms,” he said as he walked away.

“O-Okay, Trey-senpai…” Miette looked from her clothes to Deuce’s. Trey gave her a shorter dress, robes that flowed more, she had thigh-highs instead of leggings, but at least their hairpieces matched.

But what now? Deuce’s face was starting to get red again as he stared at Miette. His body was visibly stiff.

“Um… We match now!” she said cheerfully. Maybe he just needed to be lead into a conversation. Maybe that’d loosen him up a little.

“We do. Y-You, um, you look really pretty…” Deuce looked away, face flushed. Miette could feel heart burning her cheeks and her heart skipped a bit.

“O-Oh, thank you. You, um, you look really nice in your outfit, too…” She stole a glance at him and his face was even redder. “Um. Thanks for coming to get my star.”

“It’s no problem, Miette! It’s all a part of the job!” Again, another sweet smile and her heart skipped another beat. But again, another awkward silence came up. What to say now?

“Uh, how about we take a selfie?” That always seemed to cheer guys up when she suggested it. And like she thought, Deuce perked up a bit.

“S-Sure!” She quickly grabbed her phone and got right next to Deuce. He was a little over a head taller than her and had to crouch down so they could be face to face. On her screen, she could see they were both a bit flushed. Nothing some photo editing couldn’t fix. She put up a peace sign and he copied her. It was a cute photo. Part of her knew it might be inviting trouble if she posted it; after all, people felt entitled to her and felt threatened by any man in her vicinity. Glancing up at him, she saw he had a soft smile on his face. Her cheeks burned again.

"Hey Deuce, is it all right if I put it on Magicam?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah, it's fine!"

"I don't have to tag you if you don't want to. Sometimes people can get a little overzealous..."

"I'm fine with it. I'll just block anyone that tries to start shi... Problems." She laughed as she opened Magicam and got to work.

"You don't have to censor yourself around me. I don't mind swearing," she told him. What would be a good caption? Maybe 'Getting ready for the Star Sending'? 'Matching clothes for the Star Sending'? No, that one was too vague; people would take it the wrong way.

"You don't? My mom always said guys needed to watch their language around girls," he said.

"Mm, I get where she's coming from, but personally, I'd rather have people speak plainly around me." She left out the part why she liked it. How people talked when they spoke freely said a lot about the. If there were any red flags, they'd come up fast.

"Okay, I'll remember that." She smiled as she put the finishing touches on their photo. She got his username and tagged him. For a moment, she wanted to turn comments off, but that'd be suspicious. She hit 'post' and quickly followed Deuce before locking her phone.

"Good luck on getting the rest of the wishes. Don't work too hard."

"I won't! I promise." They smiled at each other. It was cute he was taking it so seriously. Most people their age were completely over it. But here he was, putting his soul and some elbow grease into it.

"I'll see you around, Deuce."

"See you later, Miette." She went back into her room, shutting the door behind her. Deuce. He seemed like a nice guy. Too bad they weren't in the same class. It'd be harder to spend time with him. But she knew it'd be worth it to make time for him.

#twst oc: miette celeste #twisted wonderland #deuce spade #twst ship: starbabies #wish upon a star ~dance and wishes~ #miette fics #mi-edits #long post

[saharamae21]

Never Ran Smooth (Part 18)

Hey guys! Sorry about the day off, but I took a well deserved me day up the coast and needed to relax!

________________________________________________

No more yielding but a dream

I woke up the next morning surrounded in JJ’s arms. I felt the soft rise and fall of his chest as he slept soundly next to me. His hair was stuck to his face, covering his eyes. I pushed it gently out of the way and caressed his cheek a little. He shifted a little, rolling over on his side more and pulling me even further into his chest. His breathing changed and I felt his lips on the top of my head.

“Good morning,” he mumbled, half asleep still. I smiled and could feel the contentedness in my chest. I greeted him back and closed my eyes, enjoying his warm embrace. I could get so addicted to waking up next to him in the morning.

“Savannah?” I heard a muffle yell from upstairs. I slipped out of JJ’s arms in a panic as I knew my brother had come to check up on me. He groaned as I left his side, but he was too sleepy to get up and stop me from leaving. I grabbed a shirt off of the floor and slipped it on before slipping into the hallway, trying my best to avoid any pain and discomfort. I heard my brother coming down the steps and I shut the bedroom door and leaned against the wall blocking it. “There you are.”

My brother smirked suspiciously at me as soon as we made eye contact. I knew he knew what was going on, but I wasn’t about to give him any satisfaction.

“Morning Jasp,” I said. “I’m feeling a bit better so you don’t need to check up on me today.”

“I can see that,” he said. “How’d you get down here? You could barely walk yesterday.”

“I managed. The couch was uncomfortable,” I said. I could tell he wasn’t buying it, but he just let out a little chuckle. He turned his back on me and began to walk away. I let out a sigh of relief as he made his way back to the stairs.

“Nice shirt, by the way,” he said laughing as he looked over his shoulder. I looked down and saw that the shirt I picked up had, in fact, been JJ’s. I face palmed and silently cursed myself as he left. “Oh, mom’s probably going to come check up on you in about 15 minutes, so you might want to get JJ out of here.”

I wasn’t shocked that he knew. In a sense, this felt like Jasp was giving us his blessing. I smiled to myself and reached for the door. I stopped myself though, feeling nervous all of the sudden. I knew JJ was my person, but was all of this enough for him to think I was his? I gathered all my courage and opened the door. JJ was laying cutely under the sheets, but his head perked up when he heard the door open. His hair was messy and his face was scrunched up as if he had just woken up. I could help smiling when I looked at him.

“You look cute in my shirt,” he said, rubbing his eyes. “Wait, come here.”

I walked over to him and plopped down next to him again. I walked as he leaned back and grabbed his hat from off the bedside table and placed it on my head. He pulled my hair over my shoulders and smiled at me. It was a wholesome smile, a precious one you only share with someone you love.

“We should get you outta here,” I said, remembering my mom would be coming down here in a little bit. I watched as his face fell and he stared at me.

“I thought we were good,” he said softly. I opened my mouth to say something, but he just kept talking. “I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it and I’m not good with expressing my emotions. I just want the best for you and I really care about you. I just thought-”

“JJ,” I said, trying to end his rambling. It didn’t work very well though. He just kept going on and on about how sorry he was and it was breaking my heart. I learned forward and pressed my lips gently against his. This was slowly becoming our way of shutting each other up. I pulled away, leaving my forehead pressed against his. “JJ, shut up.”

“I’m in love with you,” JJ said. I felt my heart stop. He couldn’t be any more perfect than at this moment. I blinked my eyes and continued to stare into his. There was no sense of lying and no sense of hesitation. JJ Maybank loved me.

“Savannah?” I heard my mom's voice yell. I cursed under my breath and frantically shoved JJ into the closet. I tried to compose myself as I opened the door and walked out. I greeted my mom awkwardly and noticed her staring at my shirt. I swore repeatedly in my head as I remembered I was still in JJ’s shirt. “I see your following in my footsteps.”

“Sometimes I forget dad was a pogue,” I mumbled. She stared at me with sad eyes.

“He just wants you to grow up better than he did,” she said.

“No, he wants to make sure he never goes back to that life,” I said. I listened as she tried to interject, but none of it mattered to me. “He hates me. Do you know what it’s like to have your parents say they’ll never love them? You dad let you marry a pogue! I can’t even introduce JJ to you guys without the world ending.”

“Where is he?” she asked. I stared at her blankly, unable to process what was going on. Within a minute, she had moved past me and opened the closet door. “Hi, JJ.”

“Mom!” I said, but it was too late. JJ stared uncomfortably from me to my mom and back to me.

“Hi, Mrs. Stryker,” he said, covering his bruises awkwardly. “I’m usually a little more presentable than this. I promise.” I let out a giggle, but JJ shot daggers at me. He wanted to make a good first impression which made my heart swell.

“It’s okay,” my mom said. “Just so you both know, I have no issues with you two dating. I apologize for Nicholas, but give it time and he will come around to it. I just wanted to make sure you were okay Sav. Next time try to hide your boyfriend better.” I felt my jaw drop a little bit as she walked away. When did my mom become cool? I felt JJ slip his arms around my waist and place sloppy kisses in the crook of my neck. I hummed a little bit at the sensation and turned around to face him. I was met with quick and hungry kisses. He planted one and deepened it immediately. My hands unconsciously cupped his face and his hands found his way to the small of my back, pulling me into his chest. The kiss was intoxicating and I found my head going dizzy from the sensation. He shifted one hand to my side, brushing my bruises. I winced hard and pushed him away as my side burned in pain.

“Shit,” JJ said. “I’m so sorry Sav, but can I please take you to the hospital now?”

“I’m fine,” I said. I looked at him and saw the horribly worried look on his face. It immediately tugged on my heartstrings. “Would it make you feel better?”

He nodded and the look on his face said it all. I sighed and took a step towards him, wrapping my arms around his torso. “Fine, I’ll go.”

I sat nervously as JJ drove me to the hospital. I walked up to the front desk and checked myself in. I sat nervously in the waiting room with JJ by my side. I think he could feel my anxiety and slipped his hand into mine. It was good to know that he would be by my side.

After the doctor’s visit, JJ insisted I rested. I had three broken ribs on my left side, but some painkillers should help ease the pain. That pain wasn’t going to stop me from being by his side. We compromised on me coming with him as long as I promised to do nothing, but sit and lie down. I, of course, agreed to his terms and sat comfortably while him and Kie prepared for the gold extraction. I sat carefully as I watched, taking in every moment. Kie and JJ laughed and every ounce of me was happy. This is where I belonged.

No one knew what laid ahead of this moment.

______________________________________________

IMPORTANT:

I want to know what you guys want to come after this fanfic! Do you want a sequel with more JJ and Sav, post show with uncanon events? Or do you a brand new fanfic based on OBX? A new plot and a new main character? Let me know!

Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @obxmxybxnk

#jj imagine #outer banks jj #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #jj #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank obx #jj maybank fanfic #jj mayback x reader #jjpope #pope obx #pope heyward #pope #sarah cameron #sarah obx #john b outer banks #john b routledge #john b obx #John #John b #kiara carrera #kiara #kie #kie obx #kie outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #obx jj #obx netflix

[cheekaspbrak]

The kissing prompts: 36! 36! 36! That’s adorable🙈💕

please take my offering of a virtual hug as an apology for me posting this like... really... really late. I have no excuses aside from ‘I suck and I promise I’ll try to be better but it’s only going to get worse’. Anyway, I love you Hayls and I hope you love this!

Read here on ao3.

Prompt taken from this list.

“-that’s my third detention this semester, can you believe that?” Richie rambles as he and Eddie enter the front door of the Tozier residence.

“Yes, Richie, I can,” Eddie replies dryly, dropping his backpack by the door like he always does, kicking his shoes off there, too.

“What’s this about another detention?” Richie looks to his right, finding his dad peering at him over his reading glasses. Oops.

“I, uh, I was being too noisy during class-” Went sighs, closing his eyes against the new information. Richie swallows nervously, knowing that if his mother hears about this she’s sure to be upset, and that’s something Richie hates. When his mother is upset, she cries a lot, and Richie hates being responsible for making her cry.

“How about this?” Went starts, “I don’t want your mother to be upset any more than you do. So, I won’t tell her. Unless you get another detention in the next two weeks, then I’m going to make you tell her about both of them, and you’ll be grounded.”

Richie beams at him. He can totally pull that off. All he has to do is sit still in class for two weeks… oh no, maybe he can’t pull that off.

“Sure thing, Daddio!” Richie says anyway, because he’ll be damned if he won’t try.

“You’re screwed,” Eddie snickers, making Went laugh, too. Richie rolls his eyes at both of them, pulling on Eddie’s hand to lead him up the stairs to their room.

“Here it is!” Richie says after they get back to his room and he digs through the new stuff he’d gotten over Christmas break, finding the item Eddie had come over to see. It’s a brand new, shiny walkman with a gray stripe down the side, and Eddie has never had the chance to use one before. Richie had been borrowing his dads since he first learned what a walkman is, so Went had finally given him one for Christmas. And the first thing he plans to do with it is let Eddie borrow it for as long as he wants.

“Cool!” Eddie says when he gets his hands on it, turning it over excitedly while Richie fishes the tapes out of his junk. “What tapes do you have?”

“My dad only bought me two for now.” Richie smiles in response to Eddie’s enthusiasm. When Eddie gets excited it’s hard for Richie to slow down because his heart starts to race and he gets way too nervous. “The Smiths and The Cure. I hope you like those. Have you heard their music before? Who am I kidding, you’d have to live under a fucking rock to have never heard their music before, of course you-” Eddie snatches the tapes out of his hands and puts one into it. “Hey, wait, be careful with it! My dad will kill me if I break it right away!”

“Shut up, I’m not going to break it,” Eddie sighs, cramming the headphones over his ears haphazardly. “So I just… hit…” Eddie clicks the button on the side and his face lights up like a Christmas tree when the music begins to play. “Cool,” He breathes out, eyes locked on Richie’s.

Richie wants to tear his eyes away, but he just can’t. He’s well aware that there’s a huge smile taking up half of his face that looks far too fond watching his best friend borrow his walkman, but he just can’t look away. Eddie is so easily impressed with the gadgets Richie has because his mom never lets him have any, and Richie feels on top of the world every time he gets to show Eddie something new. Most of the time he’s annoying Eddie or pestering him nonstop, but in moments like these, Eddie looks at Richie like he’s the best person in the universe. It’s not often anyone looks at Richie like that. He’s gangly and bug-eyed and buck-toothed and crass. Nobody really looks at Richie Tozier and thinks anything much other than ‘Wow, what a nerd’. But sometimes, just sometimes, Eddie looks at him like he’s the best nerd ever. 

That look makes Richie’s palms sweat and his heart race, and he knows exactly what that means. He knows. He carved their initials on the kissing bridge, for Christ’s sake. 

“Do you like it?” He asks, stupidly, because obviously Eddie likes it. But Eddie just nods, eyelashes fluttering. They both move to sit down on his bed, criss-cross applesauce and side by side. “Keep it for as long as you want,” He tells him. He hadn’t mentioned to him, yet, that letting Eddie borrow it had been his plan since the moment he unwrapped the gift.

“What? No, I can’t. This is yours,” Eddie protests, eyes wide. He pulls the headphones off of his ears at once.

“Mi walkman es su walkman.” Richie puts the headphones back around his neck. “I’ll just use it when I sneak into your room.”

It’s something Richie does often, ever since the incident. They both have nightmares, and when Richie’s are especially bad he slips out of his house and into Eddie’s bed. It’s easier when he’s not alone. 

He’s pretty sure his mom knows, at this point, and has chosen not to say anything. Eddie’s mom, on the other hand, would give them an earful if she ever found out. That still doesn’t keep him from doing it.

“Are you sure, Richie? What if my mom finds it and takes it?” Eddie looks equally apprehensive and excited. 

“I’ll steal it back from her,” Richie says, but he finds that he really doesn’t care if he ever sees it again. Just the thought of Eddie laying on his bed with his eyes closed, listening to whatever tape Richie gives him makes his heart feel full.

“Thanks, Rich.” Eddie smiles somewhat bashfully, eyes looking down at the little machine in his hands. His brows furrow a little and Richie nearly has to physically hold himself back from kissing him right there, right between his eyebrows. He wonders what Eddie would think if he did do that. He likes to think Eddie wouldn’t mind, that he’d smile a little or tease Richie playfully like he always does or maybe even kiss Richie on the lips. He thinks about it sometimes, when he’s laying in bed, playing it over and over in his head until he falls asleep.

But, even if Eddie did like boys, which seems basically impossible, why would he ever want to kiss Richie? Richie, with all his greasy forehead acne he has to cover with his bangs and the stupid braces he only has to have on for a few more months. Richie, with his big nose and big glasses that would probably get in the way.

He’d squish Eddie’s cute little button nose and probably poke his eye out. They wouldn’t fit together like two halves of a whole, they’d fit together like a square peg and a round hole. 

But, gosh, does he want to kiss him. So he does what he can, grabbing at Eddie’s wrists to pull him closer, saying ‘Cute, cute, cute!’ before leaning in and giving him a half-assed eskimo kiss, rubbing his nose back and forth until Eddie pushes him back gently. He only moves back a few inches, intruding Eddie’s personal space, as usual. 

“You’re so weird,” Eddie says, laughing. He peers up at Richie through chocolate brown eyelashes with an amused look on his face. 

“You’re so weird,” Richie counters before leaning forward and rubbing his nose on his once more. Eddie doesn’t move this time, though, instead he stays quiet and still. He doesn’t giggle or bat Richie away, he just sits there, arms propping himself up on his knees. He’s almost rigid, staring at Richie’s eyes like he’s seen a ghost. “What?” Richie stops, nose still pressed against Eddie’s, feeling as nervous as he does when a teacher calls on him and he wasn’t paying attention.

Eddie looks like he’s about to answer, Richie can feel him swallow and take in a deep breath, but then he doesn’t. Then, he does something much, much better. He moves just an inch or so and presses his lips against Richie’s like it’s as natural as breathing.

Richie is what one would describe as ‘all bark, no bite’, but right now he’s no bark and no bite. His eyes grow huge, surely magnified to a comical size by his glasses. He has no idea what to do as Eddie’s soft, sweet lips move against his, as Eddie’s hands fly up to cup his cheeks. 

Before he even has a chance to ponder it, Eddie is pulling back with a gasp.

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” Richie cries, grabbing Eddie’s hands and pressing them back against his cheeks, “I liked that, don’t say sorry. Kiss me again, please.”

Eddie’s face transforms from trembling to smirking, squeezing Richie’s face between his palms and brushing his lips against Richie’s own. “Are you sure?”

“Please,” Richie pleads one more time, and he’s immediately rewarded with a gentle, but simultaneously fierce kiss. Eddie’s thumbs stroke at the delicate skin underneath his eyes, the tips of his fingers disappearing into Richie’s unruly curls. He realizes with a start that he hasn’t touched Eddie once sitting there like a limp noodle, which is incredibly uncharacteristic, so he wraps his hands around Eddie’s slender wrists, thumbs stroking over the backs of his hands gingerly, thinking he might die if Eddie pulls away again.

But Eddie just keeps kissing him, pressing as close as he can get, and Richie has the fleeting thought that they actually fit together quite nicely, almost like they were made for each other, almost like there really is such a thing a soulmates.

Tag List: @constantreaderfool @violetreddie @girasol-eddie

#reddie #reddie fic #Richie x Eddie #eddie x richie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #h writes

[selfcareparker]

LMAO YOU ACTUALLY PUT THE TW VIOLENCE HAHAGDSHS

so the better university is in germany.. you already live in germany.. but germans aren't good as good at english lol and lemme get this straight- UNIVERSITY IN GERMANY IS- wait shit Imaooo i read that wrong, I THOUGHT IT WAS 75¢ HDJSHS like 3 quarters😭 but that's still less expensive compared to the US, 75€ is about 90$ here... i just googled it and (apparently) college is typically around $27,000 in my state (22,588€ i think lol) but wowee gee whiz. i think waiting till you’re physically there is the best decision though, just really seeing how it is, how you like it and stuff. BUT WAIT Imao i'm rereading what you said as i'm responding, but the university sounds good!! hopefully your professor isn't the one writing the english on the website Imaoo. your english is fine hdhsjsh & why are you up at 3am😭

i'm literally jumping around udhsj but no that did absolutely make sense hahah i just really enjoy talking to you & wanted to tell you what's up lol but yay we're around the same age hdhagajs

+ yes i have !!! thank you LMAO I BET YOURE NOT THAT BAD JHDJS that whole paragraph actually made me laugh. dude i could neverrr write a script where people have to act it out? lmao it would not be pretty (though i need to work on that) well if you’re not good at acting, you’re hella good at writing (I FINISHED THE ENTIRETY OF UR PETER MASTERLIST AND I AM EMPTY & I AM SCREAMING- i’ll send in another ask on my favorites and all my replies bc WAH they had such an affect on me.......... it’s not ok. like affectttt)

HAHHAA “trash garbage” yea... she was helpful in helping me get my first lead on stage but yea that school as a whole was pretty 💩 but honestly thank youuu <3 my new favorite thing? “thump them in the eye with a sharp metal rod” i think i have one in the basement LMAO

that was a joke...... i think this will also need a tw..... but all my asks are messy lmaoo- not me missing the heritage thing in the tags: that’s so cool!! i’m guessing you’ve been the england since your mom is british? knowing two languages sounds so cool😔 and you speak really good english btw (is that rude-) OOHH so you’re german bc you were born in germany but none of your blood family is german & ur mom is british? bRO that’s so cool like literally 😎 i wanna travel so bad and the UK is first on the list (probably in two years.. i do really wanna study abroad or be a foreign exchange student or something) then Jamaica (bc that’s where my mom is from and i’ve never been) and then all the pretty countries lol

have a good day/night idk lol it took me really long to write this + idk why jdhsjshsj

- lovely anon 🥰

OKAY HI OMG (I was about to say giiirrrl but i never asked for your pronouns or anything so let me know if it’s okay if i say giiiiirl in the future lol)

I saw this at 3 am and got so excited lol but my sleeping schedule has been so awful lately that I forced myself to sleep instead of replying to this 😔

Okay so... if you put it like THAT then yes, the university in germany sounds a lot better lol. But yeah like you said I won’t fully decide until I’ve actually been to university (well, it’s online but ykwim) and that starts in april and honestly i can’t wait sksjshh but yeah i’m like 90% sure that i’ll be staying here already. And yes let’s pray that it’s not one of my professors who writes the shit on the website sishshg😭

also what you said about wanting to be a foreign exchange student or studying abroad... i felt that. but even if i end up studying in germany, with my degree, you have to either do an 8week programme (program? idk) where you go to an english speaking country,,, or you do a whole semester studying abroad so i’ll probably go to england one way or another lol and i can always do my masters in the uk (if i do a masters degree i haven’t even figured out what i’m doing this year let alone in three years loll)

Also I really have to stop saying lol so often lol

Also I have to stop saying also at the beginning of every sentence lol

Also (😔) i enjoy talking to you too 👉🏼👈🏼 you don’t know how happy i get whenever i see that you sent me an askd sjsjhshshs

And yupp i used to go to england like three times a year but because of cov*d i haven’t seen any of my english relatives since 2019🥺🥲 BUT the uk is so so so nice i love London but I also love the country side and esp the north of england 🥰🥰🥰 (that’s where most of my relatives are) and yes you deffffff need to visit one day!!!!!!!

Also (also is such a good word tho sksjsh) likeee i definitely don’t think it’s rude when people say my english is good dkdhsg so thank you 😌 but if you heard me speak english irl, i don’t have a german accent or anything and i’m 100% fluent but writing like this is different because it’s like... it’s not an essay so obviously not every sentence has to be 100% grammatically correct but i always worry that, because people know english isn’t my first language (only because i’ve told them), people think my english is bad and that i’m making mistakes when really it’s normal to just.. not use 100% grammatically correct word constructions all the time if that makes sense...? (I don’t think it does 👁👄👁 this was the worst paragraph i’ve written in my life i’m SORRY ksjshs, usually i’d delete this but i feel comfortable talking to you so even if it doesn’t make sense i’m not deleting my rantssjshsh)

And yup, speaking multiple languages is (in my opinion) one of the coolest things ever, i’m fluent in english and german, i had latin from year 7-12 so even though it’s not a language that people speak anymore, learning latin was one of the coolest experiences of my life (which sounds so lame dkshshs) because obviously in all the roman languages soo many words come from latin, so sometimes when i hear/read words in languages that i don’t even speak i can tell what it means thanks to latin. I can also kindaaaaaaaa speak/understand italian (where like 90% of words are the same as in latin or even some english and german words so i never had to study the vocabulary in school skshsh) and a liiiiiiittle tiny bit of french and serbian. I know quite a few people who speak 3+ languages because a lot of my friends are the same as me and have parents who aren’t german so they speak their dad’s language, their mum’s language AND german and it’s like the most fascinating thing in the world for me

I HAVE TO STOP TALKING NOW I’M SO SORRY WHATDKSKSJSNSMHDS

And ooohhhh my mum’s best friend is from Jamaica and my mum has allllll these beautiful pictures from when they went to jamaica together when they were younger (goals)🥺🥺🥺 so i really hope you can visit one day✨✨✨ (i wanna go to jamaica too one day sksjs but i think it’s even cooler if you’re like actually jamaican obviously and it’s linked to your heritage)

OKAY THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS I AM SO SO SO SORRY SKSHSBAKSKSHSJAHAHABA but i enjoy talking to you so i shouldn’t really apologise but still like what was the point of all my rambling? Nothing basically dksjsh also I feel like i keep talking about myself but idk what to say and likeee i don’t even know, so how has your life been since covid? (That’s My attempt to ask about YOU lmao tell me whatever you want about yourself sksjsh)

Okay byeee 💖💖💖💖💖

Edit: i realised i haven’t said anything about you finishing/reading everything on my peter masterlist AHSJSKKSBSBSSBSB thank you thank you thank you, sooo i can’t promise anything but i will most likely post a new fic this weekend... but idk if it’s going to be good? I randomly started writing it last night and i definitely like the plot but i’m always so insecure about my actual writing and wording but yeah... ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#lovely anon #<3 #tw violence #who even needs to put a tw for violence on a last like this 😭😭 #*post #lmaodnsjshsh i love us #okay it felt so weird when i kept writing ‘mum’ bc obv i’m british and have a british accent and everything but i don’t actually call my mum #mum #i call her mama bc it’s german (and probably sounds so weird if you’re english/american) #so i’m tempted to say mom #but really i would say neither mom nor mum so... sksjsjsjhshs #oh god i’m so sorry that you have to put up with me ahahaha ily #why am i nervous ab posting this dkdksmshs #sorry there are probably 16 sentences in this post that dont even make sense

[secondhand-trash]

Good People

@shinsoubowl​ Week Day 4 (Prompt: Hero+Villain)

A/N: Out of all seven days, this is probably the hardest to write for me but I did succeed in slipping a Fleabag reference in there again so it’s all good. I’m just hoping and praying that this turns out ok.

(Also, Tumblr has been acting strange and not letting me add more than 5 tags recently so the exposure is greatly limited and I'm petty about things like that because I do work hard on everything I put out so reblogs are greatly appreciated qwq)

Pairing: Shinsou Hitoshi x villain!reader

Description: You had lost your hope that there were genuinely good people in the world a long time ago. So no, just because this hero was nice and didn’t want to fight you could not convince you anything.

Word count: 3125

Playlist:

Me//The 1975

Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked//Cage The Elephant

Something Has to Change//The Japanese House

-

If you got to start all over again, you would have never gone down this path in the first place.

It started off as minor shoplifting in convenient stores when you were a kid. You knew that it was wrong, but the wall of candy was too tempting and there was no way you could ask you parents for money when they were struggling to put food on the table each day. Your father got into heavy debt after his business partner took all of the company’s assets and disappeared from the surface of earth one day. The salary he earned was barely enough to keep the family alive, spending a large portion of it to pay off the loans.

You never got caught, not even once, and it only prompted you to keep going. You slowly moved onto pickpocketing and stealing cash from registers when the shop keeper wasn’t looking. It made you even more money but it also started forming this empty pit of guilt at the back of your head and yet you never stopped.

By then, you father had entered eternal slumber and something about the sigh of relieve from your mother when you handed her the cash pushed you to keep going back. There were times when she looked like she wanted to say something before you sneaked out of the house ‘for work’ but she never said anything, silently pulling back the hand that attempted to reach for her child.

Then there came the time when snooping around for inattentive by passers could no longer fulfill that urge in you.

Hiding in a dark alley, you gathered your breath as the security guards of the shop you just broke into ran past the spot you were hiding at. Checking that there was no one around, you pulled out that heavy gold bracelet from the pocket of your belt. You did not need the price tag on the display to see that you could make good money out of it. Inspecting it carefully under the flickering street light, you sighed in pity that the intricate carving on the gold would soon be gone when you handed it to the dealer.

Sometimes, you were afraid that you had started to enjoy what you were doing instead of treating it as nothing but a line of work like you convinced yourself to be.

“Pretty valuable stuff you got there but I’m almost certain that it’s not yours. Mind if I put it back to where it belong?”

You immediately went into high alert and shoved the bracelet back into your pocket when you heard the voice from above your head. Snapping up, you saw a man with a black mask looking down on you from the lamp post.

Great, a pro-hero.

A long piece of fabric extended towards you and you jumped to deck from the attack. You had heard of this particular pro from other people of your kind. He was new to the scene, making quite a name for himself with his skillful tactics and overpowering quirk.

“You’re not going to answer me? How rude.” the man clicked his tongue as he leaped from where he stood and made another attempt at trapping you with his scarf. You pursed your lips tight, avoiding even the smallest of responses towards the man. You remembered what they told you about him, one word and he had you under control, and you had been struggling on this path you went down for far too long to be captured now.

A villain, that’s what they called you, to which you only scoffed. Perhaps you were a villain, but if you were a villain, what were the people who turned you to this side of the moral compass? Were they good people? And this hero who was here to give you the punishment the society thought you deserved, was he a good person under that mask and the costume?

People did not overrate his ability in combat. You were having a rough time fending him off while resisting the possibility of a slip of the mouth, but you could tell that he was new to this. He knew what he was doing but none of his punches were lethal. He was holding back.

In a perfect world, he would be respected for having mercy on you, the villain. But the world was not perfect and most of the time, it was far from being good. Hesitating could be a great flaw.

Spotting one of the hero’s weakness in defense, you took the chance land a punch right at his stomach, forcing him to bend down no matter how fast he could react under physical reflectiveness. By the time he recovered, you had already gone out of his sight, leaving him alone in the dim alley.

Sliding in through the unlocked window, you frowned at how the light of the living room was still on. Living room, you silently laughed in bitterness at the thought, like you weren’t living in a tiny flat that was split into rooms by thin curtains hanging on the ceiling. “Mom? Why haven’t you gone to sleep? I told you that there’s no need to wait for me.”

The woman on the couch was already drifting into sleep when you called for her. You knew that she hadn’t been feeling well recently and you had tried to tell her to get more rest but it seemed that you got your stubbornness from her.

“I can’t sleep without knowing that you got home safely,” she smiled and you could see the wrinkles at the end of her eyes. When did those start to appear? For as long as you could remember, there wasn’t a time when there weren’t any lines on her forehead, an effect of furrowing her eyebrows together too often. “How was work?”

You felt bad for lying to her but you could not say it out loud. You could not say it to her face that her child was a villain who stole things for a living, even when you were almost certain that she already knew. After all, mothers know best.

“It went alright,” you tried to force a nonchalant smile even when your stomach was twisting together in guilt and lifted the curtain to where you slept, “I’ll just go to bed now. You should get some rest too, you’re looking really pale.”

You had long accepted the fact that you were no perfect human being and most of the time, you were certain that you could not even touch the line of being good, but lying to your mother would never stop making you feel like the worst person alive.

You kept running into the same pro-hero who you met in the alleyway from that night onwards. Where ever you were, he was there waiting already. It was starting to get tiresome and rather creepy, if you would be so bold to say.

For the first few days, a fight would inevitably break out between the two of you and it always ended the same way with you escaping by a hitch. Then he stopped trying to capture you through battling and it was worse, because he started talking to you.

If fighting him was a pain in the ass, than this new method of his was straight up torture.

It started off as him trying to irritate you into responding with jabs or insults but he soon realised that it was not enough to get you to talk as you would just rolled your eyes and threw punches at him. Looking back, you wished it had stayed that way because he somehow managed to make the whole thing even more annoying. He would block your only route of escape and started talking to you like he was just talking to a friend about his day. There were times when you were so baffled by the sheer stupidity of the whole thing that you almost gave in and yelled at him. Needless to say, it took a lot of self-control to bite your tongue when all you wanted to do was get him to shut up.

Still, you would at least tried to hear what he had to say each time before finding a way out. It would be a lie if you say that there wasn’t something stupidly entertaining about the hero rambling on about the random things that happened in his life when he could be fighting you instead. You almost anticipated him to show up each night and just started talking when you never gave him any responses other than exaggerated facial expressions at all.

If he wasn’t here to arrest you, you might actually take a liking towards that man.

You already had one leg hanging off the barricade as you were about to make a jump to the ground from the balcony when the hero showed up tonight. You stopped and turned to look behind you where the hero landed, raising a brow towards him.

“Sorry that I’m a bit later than usual, had to chase down this other guy who was robbing a bank.” he laughed when your eyebrow only arched at his statement, “Don’t look so shocked, you’re not the only one I’m trying to capture.”

You nodded in amusement. You weren’t sure when this whole process felt like less of a competition to see who break first and more like two people genuinely hanging out. “Although it really doesn’t feel like I’m even trying to capture you anymore.”

You grinned and tilted your head. You would love to believe that it was the case and he was just here night after night because he wanted to talk to you but it was never wrong to stay alerted. “Can you just say something? It feels like I’m talking to myself here! I promise I won’t use my quirk on you.” the hero pleaded but you doubted its sincerity due to the smirk on his face and you shook your head, the smile never left your face. “Come on! I know you want to!”

He wasn’t wrong, you did want to but your survival instinct override this childish desire. You were a villain and he was a pro-hero, you two weren’t meant to be friends and simply wouldn’t happen no matter how much you wanted to talk to him like normal people do.

Smirking, you turned your back to him and was about to leap down when his voice caught you by surprise.

“Fuck you, then.”

You snapped back, entertained beyond measure by his response. You had to purse your lips to prevent the laughter that was threatening to escape and gave him a look as in to ask him, “Really?”

When you lie on your mattress with your eyes closed, it was the amused glimmer in the hero’s purple eyes that kept showing up in your head.

You fell asleep with a smile on your face that night.

You shouldn’t get attached, it’s dangerous, but you had become way too fond of the strange hero who talked to you every night at this point to back out. The two of you were standing on the balcony where you would for sure past by each night. Leaning against the fence, you put your chin on your hand with one elbow supporting it on the fence as the hero standing next to you rambled on.

You wondered if you two would have become friends if the circumstances were different. It was a stupid move that could wash all your hard word down the drain but at that point, you didn’t care. This had been bugging you since you met this guy and despite better judgment, you weren’t really sure how long you could keep this in.

“Why are you still here talking to me?” the hero’s eyes widened as he heard your voice for the first time. “You’re a pro-hero, I’m a villain. You’re supposed to fight me, not hang out with me.”

He paused for a while, “I don’t think you’re like other villains.”

You snorted in bafflement and didn’t say another word. He sighed, seeing that you didn’t trust him enough to actually respond to him. “I’ve been keeping a record of what you did since I met you that day. You never steal from small businesses, only big cooperation or rich people.”

“And that’s how you decided that I’m not like other villains?” you replied, basically taking a leap of faith to see if this person you had been talking to for the past weeks was actually as decent as you hoped him to be. A rush of relieve washed through you when you could feel that your body was still under your own control.

“You’re not doing it just to cause chaos or hurt people like a lot of other villains and, I don’t know, I guess there are chances that you might be a good person.” he said with an earnest that left you unable to react. A good person. How long had it been since someone called you that? “I saw the way you fight, put it to good use and you might actually save the world-”

“Why do I want to save the world when the world never saved me?” you turned to look at him in the eyes and felt yourself stiffen at the look in his eyes. He would not get it, you bitterly thought to yourself. “I did not choose to be like this but when no one came to save you, you might just be isolated for long enough to become a villain.”

This was a waste of time, ‘villains’ weren’t supposed to confide in heroes and it was naive of you to even think that he would understand. Climbing over the fence, you stared at the hero before you escaped into the darkness.

“The world isn’t good. Trust me, I’m a villain.”

You were sure that it was the universe playing a joke on you to prove just how bad it could be when you woke up the next morning to find your mother collapsed on the ground. The sight was something out of your worst nightmare and you could not breath properly until you held her wrist to sense that she was still alive. She was burning with a fever so high in temperature that you were starting to fear that the day you were truly on your own would come sooner than you detested.

You tried everything you know, every medicine you could get your hands on but there was no use. She was still unable to even move when the night arrived and you were worried sick. It was the first time that you cursed yourself for having a lifestyle that was everything but legal. You could not take her to the doctors because hospitals keep record on everything and it would not take them a lot of time to find out what exactly you were up to. If this was about you, then you would just take the risk and turn to somewhere shady but it was your mother, and you would rather trade your soul than to put her in harm.

You knew what you should do the moment you stepped out of your house that night.

Shinsou was almost unsure if you would show up. You seemed to be quite pissed off last night and he wasn’t sure if you would still want to see him after that. It started off as an attempt to lure you into activating his quirk by accident but he had come to quite enjoy those late night conversations. He immediately perked up when you climbed onto the balcony.

You walked straight up to the hero and grabbed the scarf circled around his neck. His body tensed up at your sudden action but his mouth hang agape in shock when he saw you took it and wrapped it around your own wrist.

“Here’s what you’re gonna do,” you took a deep, shaky breath and said, “you’re gonna hand me over to the police and tell them that you captured me.”

“What? Wait a sec-”

“I’ll tell you where I hide everything I’ve ever stolen,” you sounded so calm it almost frightened him, “there’s a woman there, a really sick one. I don’t know how but please god get her somewhere better than that-”

“No.”

You stopped when you heard him. “What?” you yelled in disbelieve. “I am making your job easier for you, what do you mean ‘no’?”

“You’re not making any sense! Is something going on?”

“Yes!” you threw your hands in the air. You could feel tears forming in the corner of your eyes as you screamed in frustration, “My mother is dying because I’m a fucking villain and I can’t get her any help!”

“And your way out is to hand yourself in?”

“Well I don’t know what else I can do and if there’s someone who have to profit off of my misery I want it to be you because you talked to me and made me laugh and even if you might not turn out to be a good as I think you might be but at least you are a decent person and a decent person is fucking hard to find.” you said it all in one breath and gasped for air as you gathered your breath. “So please, I beg of you, just help me out and do as I say.”

Shinsou wasn’t sure what he should do but you looked like you were about to break down and that hurt him way more than it should. Although his movements were a bit stiff, he sighed in relieve when you didn’t protest as he wrapped his arms around you. “Told you, you are a good person.”

You sniffled and mumbled against his shoulder, “You have really low standard for ‘good’.”

“Let me help you,” he pulled away and wiped a thumb one your cheek to dry the tear that ran down your face, “I won’t hand you over but I’ll help you if you let me. That’s what heroes are supposed to do, right? We help people.”

You let out a broken laugh. You weren’t sure why you believed him but that look in his eyes was all too convincing. And for the first time in a really long while, you truly believed that perhaps there were good people in this not-so-good world after all.

No one had ever saved you, not until Shinsou Hitoshi talked his way into your life.

#shinsoubowl #shinsoubowl week 2019 #shinsou x reader #shinsou hitoshi #bnha imagines #bnha imagine #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #shinsou imagine

[gentlemanoftimetravel]

Adrinette April

Day 1: Pranks

April fools day.

Marinette hates April fools day.

Every year her whole school becomes a circus. Alix and Kim outdo themselves which one could prank the most classmates. Chloé, even if she claims that hole day is utterly ridiculous, plays a few pranks herself. Admittedly some more cruel than the most pranks common for that day.

The girls and the boys played against each other and Marinette is just so done with that whole day.

Normally she would try to avoid that whole day. But this year is different. This time she had a plan of herself.

For the past few years Tikki always was her voice of reason. She endured all the pranks and did nothing in return, that’s why she normally despised that day. But since she accidentally found out that Chat Noir was Adrien, she made a deal with Plagg. Without Tikki’s knowledge of course.

A little mischief with the god himself could only be fun. Now she knew why Adrien’s pranks were always so good, he had help. But not this year. This year it was her turn.

The day started simple. She baked Macarons, colourful as always, and stepped into class with a wide grin.

“Good Morning everyone. I brought treats, please help yourself!” She took the first one to empathise her point and to hide her smirk. She could see the joy in everyone’s eyes and she knew that they weren’t cautious opposite her, Marinette never played pranks. Until now.

Half of the class enjoyed their treats the other half gaged in response. They eyed their Macarons curiously, don’t want to believe that they didn’t taste like usual, another warily bite. Finally they spat them out and loooked with betrayed eyes towards Marinette who cackeled behind her own sweet. “April Fool!”

The whole class gaped at her, they couldn’t believe that their normally sweet classmate, who never ever played one single prank, fooled them. Unbelievable.

Some started to laugh, mostly the students who had luck and grasped a sweet one. “Wow Marinette. That was sneaky! Who would’ve guessed you had that in you!” Alix elbowed her.

“Yeah Dudette, who would guessed.” Nino���s voiced dripped with sarcasm, he was one of the unlucky.

“Seriously thought, what did you put into these? They tasted weird.” Alya wrinkles her nose in disapproval.

“I think I tasted Camembert.” Adrien gulped down another swallow from his bottle. “I will definitely not get rid of the taste.” He whined between another sip.

Marinette chuckles. “You’re right Adrien. The pinkish with the white filling are either Peach or Camembert, the green ones were either apple or wasabi, the purple is either blueberry or red cabbage and the red one is strawberry and the only winner. My dad tried to create these specifically for today and I asked if I could bring some with me to school. He liked the idea.” Marinette carefully plastered a shy smile on her face, tries to look innocent and shrugged in response.

First rule from Plagg, try to shift the blame away. Marinette has a Aura full of innocence, if she wanted to play her charade all day long she needed to play a low profile.

Laughter filled the room. “Your dad has a cruel sense of humour. How can we ever trust these pastries ever again?” Kim eyed the box and glanced at Alix. “Hey Alix! I bet I can find more sweet Macarons out of that box than you!”

“Oh your so on!” Alix launched herself at the box and soon the class cheered the pair on.

Marinette glanced around and placed a small box full of Camembert Macarons inside Adrien’s bag and winked at Plagg. Tikki looked up at her chosen with disapproval written clear in her eyes, she only played along because Marinette promised her every sweet thing Tikki wanted for the next month.

Phase one completed.

Phase two started two classes into the day. Throu Plagg she knew what Adrien planed for his pranks. It was physics time. Originally Adrien wanted to switch some liquids and ingredients so that his classmates would have quite the different reactions for their experiments. Thanks to Plagg, only his experiments went downhill. Marinette tried to hold back her muffled chuckle, but after another failed attempted and an annoyed huff from Adrien she couldn’t take it anymore and let out a louder giggle.

Adrien turned slightly and raised an eyebrow towards her. Confusion written across his face at her obvious joy.

“You seem to have quite the Bad Luck, don’t you?” she quietly whispered, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes only he could see. His frown deepened and Marinette escaped another chuckle.

“Monsieur Agreste! Did your experiment fail again?” He flinched and turned slightly towards their teacher. “I’m sorry Madame Mendeleiev. I don’t know what’s wrong today, I will try it again.” She nodded in approval and turned toward another student. Adrien glanced over his shoulder but Marinette already studied her own Projekt.

Phase three started in the middle of lunch break.

Alya suddenly squeaked. Everyone turned their heads in surprise, only Marinette had a small knowing smile dance across her lips.

“You won’t believe this! Someone submitted anonymously a video to the Ladyblog. One that has Ladybug and Chat Noir starring! And they kissed! KISSED! You can see the love in their eyes! Oh my god, I can’t believe this! My ship is finally sailing. I need to post this right away!” Alya exclaimed.

“Ähm babe? You know what day it is today. I don’t believe that that video is real.”, Nino clarifies.

“No Nino, that would be too cruel. That can’t be a prank! I won’t believe this injustice.” As Nino and Alya continues to argue, Marinette get up and walked past Adrien. She stopped for a moment behind him and whispered in his ear: “What do you think Kitty? Real or Prank? Did it happen and you forgot it again?” Adrien’s shocked and confused face drew another silent laughter from her. She winked at him and disappeared through the main door.

Throughout the rest of the school day she played some minor pranks. Some for the whole class and some specifically for Adrien, which grew more frustrated as time passed on. But her gran final was planned for patrol later in the day.

Patrol started as always. They came together, discussed their route and split up. Shortly before midnight they meet up again at the Eifel tower. Marinette started her last plan for that day. She knew, thanks to Plagg, that Chat himself had something planned out. But she never let him get there.

The second he set a foot on the Plattform she launched herself at him. “Chat! I just saw that footage on the Ladyblog”, thank you Alya for posting it, “that we kissed but I don’t have any memory of that incident. What about you?” Ladybug looked at him with concern in her eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, a slight blush crept upon his cheeks at how close she pressed herself against him.

“No?”, he squeaked, his blush deepened. He cleared his throat. “I mean No, I don’t have any memory of that incident. But now that you mentioned it, someone very close to me made a strange comment about it.”

Ladybug leaned slightly back in his arms and raised one eyebrow. “Oh? But Alya just uploaded it, how should she know something about it, unless ...”, she trailed of, hoping that he would pick up on her train of thought.

“Unless she was the one making that photo! That would explain some things, but why should she submit it anonymously to the Ladyblog? And her comment made no sense, the only one calling me kitty is you but she called me that in my civilian form, which made even less sense.” Marinette sighed, his thoughts can’t connect these two details right now. She need to push further, more drastic.

Faintly she heared Notre Dame chime Midnight. Perfect timing. She leaned back in and stopped his rambling by kissing him. As she pulled back, he only starred at her. “If this is a April Fools Prank, I’m really mad!”

Marinette giggled. “Don’t you hear it? It’s already past midnight, so no prank here. But come on Kitty, connect the dots already! I left so much breadcrumbs throughout the day.”

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and slowly she could see understanding flash in his eyes. He looked back at her with disbelief and wonder. “Marinette? Is it really you, but how? Why? When did you ... how did you?”

She laughed again. “Yes Kitty, it’s really me! I’ll explain everything to you, but first come here Adrien. I want to kiss you again, I waited the whole day!”

He obeyed her with pleasure.

————————

That’s the end of the first story.

Seriously, I have no idea what good April Fools pranks are. Nevertheless I hope you all had fun reading this story. I’m not one hundred percent happy with the outcome, but I don’t know how I should write it differently. Maybe I’m coming back sometime and change it.

I’m writing slower than I would like but I really want to write all the story’s for @adrinetteapril

Wish me luck and check out all the other awesome writers for this monthly challenge.

Tag:

@jinxthe1

#adrinetteapril2020 #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette april #adrinette #Day 1 : Pranks

[lucidpantone]

Visitations Preview Chap 5: The Finale

**Go and grab your tissue box. You’ll really need to stop being so emosh. @cph-dreaming @fehmyn @hopetofantasy @cleocc @msmesasha​. If I forgot to tag you am sorry. It’s only one memory and that's all you're getting.**

Disclaimer: Same rules apply.

Italics is the past. If not, it's August 15th at any point in the day I chose to drop you into.

“Just one?” 

“Yeah” Robbe responded, acknowledging the cashier.

“To Amsterdam?”

Robbe nodded.

“1st or 2nd class?”

“1st please.”

“That will be €54”

Robbe shoots the cashier a nondescript smile as he sticks his credit card into the card reader and enters his pin to complete the transaction. The cashier hands him over the purchase receipt and signals for the next customer to proceed. Robbe begins to walk away and clumsily walks back a couple of steps and asks “In what direction is platform 3?”. The cashier signals towards the left hand side exit of the post office. Robbe sees the platform in the distance as he exits the store and runs towards it with a couple of minutes to spare before departure. He makes it in just the nick of time and settles into a window seat, anxious to reach his final destination.

The nostalgia of his final stop always caught Robbe off guard. Every time he came back here whether on his own, or with him, everything seemed to have stayed exactly the same since the first time. This place was a strange kinda of place wrapped up in its own personal deja-vu. Housing an unknown poltergeist where earthlingly oddities roamed and mother nature dared to roll around with the solar flares of the sun between her legs. A consequence of all the zygotes that got produced here seasonally. Robbe really didn’t care though, he loved it here, he always found himself here. There was something about this place; rudimentary in its makeup at best but possessing a sense of serenity,  with a dose of mystery, even some romance, a portal to another universe. This place always felt like home. Robbe would visit old haunts, walk the dunes of time, revel in the taste of sodium in the air. He’d hit up familiar store stalls, check out the best vantage points but eventually he’d always find himself back at their old place.

It was restaurant style. Not the fancy type made out of linen.It was white with miniature clams embossed atop, 2ply, 15 inches across but folded down the middle, then folded into 4’s and then once more to emulate the size of a standard envelope. Robbe had seen them in different colors but most people in the world only saw them in that pearl white that the standard restaurant napkins were made of. He just stared into the pattern recalling the day when this senseless artifact became an urn that stored the ashes of his love story.

“This is so stupid, I mean it's basically a pipe dream. It’s never gonna happen.” Sander told Robbe as he pulled out a marker from his back pocket.

“Come on just do it for me.” Robbe begged. Sander chuckled because he knew once Robbe made a request he was going to appease it.

“Okay…. So my dream tattoo shop would look something like this.”  Sander drew out three squares lined up horizontally next to each other like carriages on a train atop the restaurant napkin.

“So the whole concept would be based on the idea that it wouldn't even look like a tattoo shop but a gallery space. Operationally it would be a place of business but functionally it would double up as a tattoo shop/community art space. You know people always associate tattoo shops as these dark and dengy out posts but when you’d walk into mine you’d be flushed with a burst of light making the whole place feel airy. Like a sense of wholeness or something.”

Robbe found Sander’s light up smile endearing as he walked through his imaginary tattoo shop schematic. Robbe rubbed the top of Sander’s hand with his thumb encouraging Sander to continue explaining his future’s prospects.

“I love the way you think baby. You're always so thoughtful and creative.”

“Like I said it's never going to happen but you never know right….life is full of surprises.” Sander was downplaying how much he wanted this future to become a reality.

“No no no. Don’t say it’s never going to happen. We’ll find a way to make it happen.”

“Oh are you going to learn how to tattoo now?” Sander gave Robbe a cheeky grin because Robbe couldn’t even draw a rectangle correctly. Well at least not yet...

“No but I’ll find a way to chip in. I could run the reception or something.” Robbe knew that wouldn’t be much help but that's the best his nineteen year old self could come up with at the time.

“Promise we’ll find a way to make it happen?” Robbe always did this to Sander. Whenever Sander lacked belief in himself Robbe would make him promise on whatever desire he was discounting.

“Only if you promise we’ll do it together?”

“Deal, I mean that’s not a hard request. You know I always keep my promises.”

Robbe and Sander both giggled because both of them knew that Robbe’s promises never faltered. Robbe was the most reliable person Sander knew. Sander couldn’t help but indulge Robbe’s interest in their never gonna happen future.

“Anyways I’m thinking the color scheme would go something like white in the gallery, black in the tattoo shop and then maybe an entry to a garden or patio area.”

Sander rambled on and on about how eventually the gallery space could host events or have fun community sessions. He could teach art to youths since he knew how much art had helped him when he was younger. He had completely mapped out the potential of a place like this and the excitement in his voice was insatiable to say the least.

Robbe loved hearing the sound of Sander’s voice in this particular amped up pitch. It was so tranquil and soothing to him.

“Excuse me, do you need this? It was stuck in between the euros on top of your bill.”

Robbe looked up from the napkin and took inventory of his surroundings. He had got lost in his own memories again. It was becoming a frequent occurrence as of late. He looked up at the waitress who was attempting to hand him over a waxy piece of textured paper. He thanked her and took hold of it.

It was the post office receipt.

Robbe had almost totally forgotten about the dread of having to text Luc to let him know he had mailed back his stuff today. Specifically his GIRL brand skateboard that he adored so much. They hadn’t spoken since their break up but as Robbe went to grab his phone to text Luc he saw a text from Kes.

“Sorry, this is awkward but Luc asked me to ask you if you mailed back his stuff yet?”

        - Kes

“I did it today. It should get to him in 3-5 days. I mailed it 1st class.”

“Umm how’s he doing? Has he said anything to you?”

        - Robbe

“Look, That's my best friend.I don’t want to get involved. All he said to me was that you weren’t ready to invest in love….”

       - Kes

Luc always had a way with words. Always knew how to make Robbe feel guiltier than he already felt. Luc was as blunt as a knife's edge so when he stabbed you he made sure it was torturous and never swift.

As the waitress laid down Robbe’s change from his paid bill he took one final glance over to the broken down booth that he and Sander used to call “their spot”. It stung seeing it empty but he still smiled at the memory of his younger self sneaking the diagram that Sander had penned atop the napkin into his brown jacket. Not knowing then that eventually he’d get to remind an older Sander that sometimes dreams do come true.

The walk back to the house on the beach was refreshing. A light zephyr surged around the pier’s promenade creating an idyllic breeze that seemed to galvanize the local pelican community into flight. The whole ambiance of this beachy hideaway gave Robbe a much needed reprieve from the conflict ensuing in his mind. A litany of doubtful thoughts with no real answers. Continued avoidance was working so far in his favor but Robbe knew that Sander’s patience would wear.

They hadn’t spoken much since the break up. Sander had stuck around for a few days after the initial night to keep Robbe company but the whole ordeal lacked morality. They'd lay in bed together watching TV while Sander just held Robbe tightly. Practically bruising Robbe’s arms. Every few hours Robbe would be stricken with a wave of guilt over what he had done to Luc and he’d need Sander to fuck it out of him. The situation was dire and the irrational had somehow become the rational. Robbe needed to get his shit together and stop his dopesick lifestyle. Sander could not become the dragon he needed to chase to stop the withdrawals. He didn’t deserve that. Robbe had done what he had done and he needed to learn to live with it.

He did eventually kick Sander out after 4 days of this delirium stating that he needed time and space and he just needed Sander to respect that for now. He also called his boss explaining the situation and begging him to forget his resignation. Robbe was lucky that the firm was understaffed and had just signed on new business because otherwise Thibaut would have never agreed to it. At least that was one crisis averted, his apartment on the other hand was in shambles. Everything was in packing boxes and everything needed to be rehoused which was a painstaking process but he did it. It took him a couple of weeks but he did eventually put the pieces of his life back together. Finally waking up one morning after a three week haze with an impulsive craving to head to the house on the beach. Robbe wasn’t sure why he needed to go there, he just knew that it was calling and thus why he now found himself wandering down the promenade on his lonesome. A sherbet sky as his backdrop.

Robbe welcomed the change of scenery of his beachy escape. A part of him loathed his apartment now it was covered in a slime of memories he could not scrub away. Though the house on the beach was nothing more than some worn down furniture he welcomed the opportunity to grab his guitar and lay out on the garden bench outside his room and just strum the night away. It was that time of the day anyways. Sander and Robbe barely spoke or texted during this reflective period but they did communicate in the best way they knew how. See these siloed lovers had their own traditions. Sander had established it but Robbe had developed it. When either one of them didn't feel like talking, usually Sander they communicate in their most comfortable non-verbal formats. For Sander this was his usual set of drawings and for Robbe it was always his guitar. So keeping in line with their usual pattern Sander would text Robbe pictures of his drawings daily and Robbe would return to sender a voice clip of whatever chorus he had strummed together for the day. So that was what he was in the middle of doing when he saw it.

Robbe looked out onto the rainbow sherbet sky; it was an apparition in the distance. He blinked to make sure it wasn't an illusion then a second time for confirmation but it wasn’t a trick of the mind. A figure began to materialize over the sand dunes in an all black attire sporting some laced up Doc Marten’s.

Robbe’s body tensed up. How could it even be possible that he was here too... but as soon as the affliction of concern took over him it quickly dematerialized as the apparition in the distance came into focus and took on corporeal form. Robbe definitely didn’t know her but he couldn't stop observing her. She had a juggernaut presence, he was in awe, curious too but more so because she felt so familiar. Her lavender pinkish locks stood out; they helped frame her face with a dose of softness which was in opposition with the rest of her appearance.

She made a b-line towards Robbe’s direction approaching him with haste. She passed the candy strip ballards and walked onto the wooden planked walkway that paved the entrance of the house on the beach. She stopped at the teal colored Kalise cooler. She opened it and evaluated whatever she found inside and walked right over to the wooden garden bench where Robbe sat legs up strumming his guitar. Robbe shifted his focus downward in an attempt to avoid her gaze.

“Are you the manager here?”

Robbe looked at her completely bewildered recalling the previous time he was asked that same question. Before he had time to think of a cheeky retort she interjected into his thoughts.

“I just wanted to pay for a beer from the cooler”

Robbe kicked his legs off the bench and sat up.

“Oh those are mine actually but feel free to grab one. Free of charge of course”

Robbe shot her a wink.

She was pretty, he thought. Robbe had to double check his senses for a moment. He had never been drawn to a woman like this before. He took a moment to evaluate his entire life choices but it definitely wasn’t that. It wasn’t that kind of connection but there was something about her. It's like his body was reacting to some strange paradox in the universe that had hashed out this otherworldly eidolon sitting in front of him.

“Ummm do I have something on my face or something?” She asked as she brought the rim of the bottle to her lips.

“No…” Robbe replied with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“Ok so what are you staring at?”

“Shit sorry, you just seem so familiar. Am just trying to put my finger on where I may have seen you before. Are you from around here?”

“Do I sound like I am from around here?” She slapped back with a hint of sarcasm.

Robbe felt like an idiot as soon as the sentence left his mouth. She clearly had a heavy accent and she definitely wasn’t from around here. Her dutch was terrible but conversational. Her whole vibe screamed from somewhere south.

“So whose heart did you break?”

“What?” Robbe scoffed in disbelief. The reminder of guilt sinking him back into his seat.

“Come on..a pretty boy like you strumming his guitar with this as his backdrop” She pointed out to the sherbet bleeding sky; currently highlighting a color mixture of tangerine and cadmium rouge.

“A bit cliche don’t you think?”

“How’d you know I broke someone’s heart and they didn’t break mine?”

“With a face like that. You’re definitely the culprit.” Robbe was blushing but he didn’t disagree; he just stretched out the bottom half of his jaw in a slight twitch.

“Come on I can smell the guilt coming off you? Trust me I should know, it’s my favourite scent.” The pretty girl shot him an eyebrow raise to check Robbe’s temperature. Making sure she hadn’t offended him.

“I don’t even know you….”

“That’s the best part. You can tell me everything and I’ll be honest with you”

At first this sounded ludicrous but then again Robbe hadn’t told anyone the events that had actually occurred that had caused his downward spiral. He was deeply ashamed of how he handled everything and couldn’t bear to see the judgement across Jens or Lia’s face.

“I am Robbe, perpetual dumpster fire of a person. What’s your name?”

The pixie doll apparition shot her focus downward and whispered out, “Whatever you want it to be Robbe?”

“Pick a name for me?”

Why all the mystery? Robbe thought to himself. A didactic approach, Robbe could recognize a fellow strategist when he encountered one.

“No no no, you don’t get to do that. I can’t be the only one telling my secrets.”

She scoffed.

“Fine fine. Call me C.J.”

Robbe pulled a face, “That is not your real name.”

“You said you wanted a name, you never said anything about it being my real name. Take it or leave it.”

God she really did remind him of someone.

“Ok Robbe, I kept my end of the bargain. So tell me your secrets.”

Robbe rolled his eyes at her. There was something about her that was positively unbearable but also highly comforting.

“I recently broke up with my boyfriend…..” Robbe murmured out. She waved her hand in a circular motion indicating to Robbe that she wanted more details and to keep going.

“Because I think i'm still in love with my ex….”

“You think? Or you know?” C.J. questioned.

Robbe put his guitar down on the side of the bench and buried his face in his hands as a display of his frustration.

“I gather that means you know.”

C.J. pivoted her entire body towards his and scooted over rubbing Robbe’s shoulder very lightly. A strangely intimate gesture to exchange between strangers.

“It’s okay, I mean it's not, but you know what I mean.” C.J. attempted to quell Robbe’s worries.

“Ok your gonna need another beer so you can tell me what happened.”

C.J. got up and scurried to the Kalise cooler and hurried back with a beer in hand.

Robbe took a large gulp as soon as she put it in his grip.

“I slept with my ex-boyfriend as soon as me and my new boyfriend broke up”

C.J. shocked her head back and forth as a sign of some weird understanding.

“How long after the break up?”

Robbe buried his face back into his hands. He didn’t want to look at her reaction.

“Like an hour…..”

Robbe clearly heard her shocked snort which was preceded by heavy coughing.

“Sorry, choked on my beer there for a second. An hour? How? Did you drive a ferrari to his house?” She was definitely mocking him now.

“No he was waiting on my doorstep?”

“You got him delivered? His not takeout Robbe.”

“But I gotta admit you Belgians are impressive. We don’t have those types of delivery services from where I'm from. At best you can get a lukewarm pizza to your doorstep.”

Robbe looked at C.J. who was clearly trying to ease the tension and crack a joke. Robbe felt a genuine smile come across his face. He’d been struggling to get one of those to appear as of late.

“Look, I am not gonna sugar coat it. You're a real life asshole.”

“Excuse me?” Robbe responded a bit offended.

“Yeah I mean who breaks up with their boyfriend and has their ex delivered to them within an hour? Kinda of an asshole thing to do.”

“You know what, I don’t need to explain myself to you.” Robbe’s tone had hardened.

“You don’t, but you want to, right? I know because I've been there. Am the biggest asshole I know.”

“So here we are two of the biggest assholes drinking a beer together. Cheers!”

C.J. tapped her beer onto Robbe’s.

Though his instinct was too feel offended by the words coming out of C.J.’s mouth his heart and his head felt a bit of relief finally letting it all out. No matter how ugly his truths sounded out loud.

“Have you ever done something like that yourself?” Robbe questioned C.J. hoping for a bit of camaraderie.

“Not something like that but I’ve put my girlfriend through some serious bullshit. Why do you think I'm in some foreign country driving towards home?”

C.J. pointed at herself, “Total asshole remember”.

“Look Robbe when you're young, a teenager even. You can make mistakes like that and people give you the benefit of the doubt but when you're older everything counts. It's harsh but true.If you keep messing up at our age you become a pariah, a write off, beyond repair, ready to be put out to pasture.”

“But at the same time life’s complicated. People are complicated. Your love story sounds complicated. So ask yourself this, would he really stick by you through the good times, the bad and the motherfucking worse? Because everyone swears they would but in reality that’s not really true. They have no idea how bad it can really get. How bad you can really get. So I’d ask yourself this, would he fight for you? No matter the outcome?”

Robbe just stared at her. He kept wanting to say something but he couldn't seem to construct a sentence. Then it clicked like osmosis.

“You remind me of him, you know. The way you talk. Your whole vibe.” Robbe did a wax on/wax off gestures in C.J.’s direction.

“Who knows..maybe we’re the same person. Do you believe in parallel universes?”

Robbe's head violently spun around. A tidal wave of deja-vu was submerging him. He just nodded in confirmation. Robbe was definitely a believer of parallel universes.

“Yeah I thought so. Kindred spirits and all. We tend to find each other.”

Robbe knew what she meant. It was weird but somehow he felt like they had been here before.

Robbe and C.J. just sat there in silence for a while watching the colors of tangerine and cadmium rouge disappear into midnight hues. Robbe occasionally strumming some chord changes into the air. C.J. humming out some impromptu melodies both go them going back and forth discussing guitar legends that one another should check out. Until it was time for their rendezvous to end.

“I should go. I have a long drive ahead of me tomorrow.”

Robbe frowned a little disappointed. He didn’t want her to leave.

C.J. noticed and pouted in response. Both man and woman giggled into the breezy night. Before C.J. stood up she left Robbe with a nugget of truth as she drank the dregs of what was left of her last beer. Wiping her mouth down on her long sleeve shirt as she finished her drink.

“Robbe……” She sounded somber.

“The world never wanted people like you and I to be lovers. They bullied us into becoming fighters and we’ve been trying to get back to loving ever since. Just look at our past”

“My advice, look out for the small stuff. Signs. You can build a foundation off those. If you’re willing...”

C.J. began to get up from the bench.

“You’ll be fine either way Robbe but if you do have someone worth fighting for I try to protect that from the world. Remember through the good, the bad and the mother fucking worse. No matter the outcome.”

Her words struck a chord in Robbe.

“Promise me if you find that. That you’ll jump?”

C.J.’s dark brown eyes felt like they were pinning down Robbe’s soul down. Holding him to some unknown truth but he couldn’t say no to her.

“I promise” Robbe affirmed.

C.J. smiled and quickly broke the seriousness of the entire exchange.

“Right time to go. This was great. Best one night stand of my life. I didn’t even have to put out.”

“Are you ever just normal?” Robbe teased.

“What’s so great about being normal… am an enigma Robbe.” C.J. began to walk down the wooden sandy planks when Robbe shouted out to her.

“Hey, How do I find you again?”

“You don’t Robbe. This was just a random anomaly. We were never meant to meet in the first place.”

Though normally this would seem like a brush off. Robbe somehow understood the dyadic transaction that had just occurred.

“I guess we’ll meet again in another universe?” He let out.

C.J. stopped dead in her tracks.

She twirled back around, her entire self looking back at Robbe and said.

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

#wtfock #wtfam #sobbe #sander x robbe #robbe x sander

[colbybrocksmolder]

Blue - Colby Brock x Reader - Part 2/3

Part 1...

*** end of last chapter ***

“How’s it going so far?” Jake quietly asked, sitting on the coffee table facing Colby. 

“Terrifyingly easy.” Colby answered, looking down and finding Ivy fast asleep. 

“Well that’s a good thing, right?”, Jake said. “Y/n seems to fit right in. Her and Tara are bonding over SpongeBob memes as we speak.” 

“That’s the terrifying part.” Colby said, gently brushing Ivy’s hair out of her face. “They’re here for a month. They’ve only been here for like 7 hours and I’m already sad that they’re going to leave.” 

Jake watched Colby gazing down at the tiny sleeping figure in his arms. “I don’t know, brother. You’re usually a loner that likes his space. You might be happy when you’ve got your apartment back”, Jake laughed. 

Colby just sighed. *what the fuck am I getting myself into?* he thought to himself. 

*** start of new chapter ***

“All done!” Tara said, her and Y/n walking out of the spare room.

“I knew she was going to crash soon.” Y/n laughed, seeing Ivy once again asleep on Colby.

“This girl has endless energy.” Colby laughed, holding her tight against him while he sat up, making room for the girls on the couch.

“I told you. Having a kid is a lot of work.” Y/n replied, taking a seat next to Colby.

“Mike is the one that ran around playing tag with her for over an hour”, he laughed. “I got the easy job. We took naps and watched movies.”

“Well I, for one, am exhausted.” Y/n said, reaching to grab Ivy. “Us two are going to head to bed.”

Colby shifted Ivy from his arms to Y/n’s. “If you guys need anything at all, come get me. I don’t even care if I’m asleep.”

“He’s a deep sleeper.” Tara laughed. “Make sure you bring something to hit him with if you need to wake him up.”

Colby nodded, “She’s not wrong.”

“I think we have everything we need”, Y/n laughed. She turned to Colby. “Thank you again for making this so easy. All of you guys have gone out of your way to make us feel welcome.”

“You ARE welcome, Y/n. Both of you.” He could see her getting choked up again. “I’m going to walk these two out while you two get settled in your room.”

“It was so nice meeting you guys.” Y/n said, waving to Tara and Jake as she made her way to her bedroom.

“Same. I’m looking forward to hanging out again.” Tara replied while Jake waved.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Colby said, walking them to the door so he could lock it after they left. Once the door was locked, Colby walked the apartment making sure everything was turned off or put away. He hesitated at the spare bedroom door before lightly knocking.

“Come in.” Y/n called, throwing her hair up in a messy bun as Colby opened the door.

“Hey, I just wanted to check in one more time.” He said, standing in the doorway.

She looked over at him. “I’m sorry I got emotional a minute ago.” y/n apologized, looking away from Colby. “I’m exhausted and the trip was stressful….” She rambled.

Colby walked towards y/n, interrupting her with a hand on her shoulder. “Y/n. While I have no doubt that road tripping with an almost 3-year-old is stressful…I know there’s something else bugging you”, he said, pulling her into a tight hug. “I don’t know if something happened or if maybe someONE made you feel like you don’t deserve to be treated well, but if you ever want to talk about it, I’m literally only a room away.”

Y/n nodded, her face hidden against Colby. “I’m just…I’m realizing a lot being around you guys for even just a short time.”

“I mean, we ARE kind of awesome.” Colby teased, trying to break the tension. He smiled hearing her laugh. “Get some sleep. You’ve got a few more people to meet tomorrow.”  

Colby woke up the next morning to loads of noise coming from his living room. When he turned over and checked his phone he realized why. It was almost 1pm. “Oh fuck.” He croaked out, slipping a clean hoodie on before noticing something on his bedside table. There was a piece of computer paper with a crayon drawing on it. A stick figure in blue and a heart in red.

He walked out to the living room with the drawing in his hand. “Good morning, sleepy head.” Mike teased him, “Did my baby sleep well?”

“I slept like a rock, sweet cheeks”, Colby replied, blowing Mike a kiss.

Mike moved to “catch” the kiss Colby blew him before turning and pretending to wipe it all over Sam’s face.

“Noooo. No!” Sam dramatically wiped his hands on his face.

Ivy was cracking up watching the whole exchange. “Iiiiivyyyy” Colby drew out her name, holding up the drawing he had found by his bed. “Is this mine?” he asked, squatting down next to where she was coloring at the coffee table.

She looked up at him, nodding yes. “Thank you, sweetheart. I’m going to hang it up over here.” He took the drawing and hung it on his fridge. “Why didn’t anyone wake me up?” Colby asked, turning back to the room.

“I was going to when Ivy went to put the drawing in your room, but she shushed me and pointed towards the door.” Jake laughed, “I wasn’t going to argue with her.”

Colby sat cross legged on the floor by the coffee table, pulling the little girl into his lap so she sat a little higher. “You can always wake me up, Ivy.” He told her, watching her draw.

“No get in trouble.” She mumbled, reaching for another crayon.

“I promise you’ll never get in trouble for waking me up.” He said, kissing the top of her head. “Where are the girls?”

“They’re picking up lunch. Kevin and some of the others are going to head over here soon, too.” Mike answered.

The next few days were a crazy hectic blur. Y/n and Mike had shared some of their half-written songs and lyric ideas with each other to get their creative juices flowing. Kat and Y/n filmed a “Singing on street corners” video and before they even posted their video, clips of them had practically gone viral. Each of the guys and a few of the girls all filmed group videos. Y/n was in most of them and Ivy was in a few too. And after an already long day, Colby still needed to film his video.

“uuuughh”, Colby groaned, staring blankly at the wall.

“You good?” Sam asked, his laptop out with research for their next series location on the screen.

“I have to film my video tonight and I have no idea what to film.” Colby replied.

“Film something that always bangs.” Sam said. “Let’s do a truth or strip.”

“Ahem.” Colby cleared his throat, pointing towards the little girl sleeping on the couch cushion next to him.

“Yeaaaaaah, let’s not.” Sam laughed. “Wait, do it the way Kat and I did! We put something on every time we didn’t want to answer a question.”

“Could do.” Colby said, thinking it over. “Just no swearing or sexual stuff.”

“Who would have thought Colby Brock would turn his channel PG.” Sam teased, going to set up the camera. “Go grab a bunch of hoodies and stuff. I’ll start writing down questions.”

“Aight, I’ll be back.” Colby replied. He stopped by the spare room to see if Y/n would ask the questions for the video.

“Of course.” y/n replied.

So far, the video was pretty funny. Even with keeping it fairly cleaner than Sam and Colby’s usual content. “Next question. Have either of you ever skinny dipped?” Y/n asked.

Sam and Colby looked at each other, Sam reaching out and grabbing another sweater.

“Brother, putting on another shirt is basically just saying yes.” Colby laughed, blushing a bit, “So yes. I have gone skinny dipping.”

“I think everyone should at least once.” Y/n added, saying “Next question” before either of the boys could say anything back. “Who are your YouTube crushes?”

“Katrina Stuart”, Sam smirked into the camera.

“Not fair.” Colby shoved Sam.

“I mean, Kat’s hot. I get it.” Y/n pointed out.

“Don’t I know it”, Sam made kissy faces at the camera.

“I’m keeping that whole thing in the video” Colby laughed. “Ignore me while I throw on ANOTHER friggen hoodie.”

“You cold?” they heard Ivy ask. She had woken up sometime during the last question. Colby finally popped his head through the hoodie and he made a face a her. She burst out in giggles.

“Are you laughing at me?” Colby asked, slowly creeping towards the little girl.

Sam stood up, taking the camera off the tripod. “I think she was.” He added.

“Nooooo” she squealed, backing up off of the couch.

“I think you were.” Colby said, wiggling his fingers towards her like he was going to tickle her.

She ran around the coffee table, uncontrollably laughing before trying to hide behind y/n’s legs.

“Oh no you don’t”, Colby crouched down on the other side of y/n, reaching around her legs and tickling Ivy.

“Hey, how did I get in the middle of this?” Y/n laughed.

“Moooom”, Ivy squealed between fits of laughter.

“Run Ivy!” Y/n pushed Colby off balance, so he fell back on his butt. The girl went to hide on the side of the couch.

“Not fair! I can barely move in all these hoodies!” Colby laughed laying on his back, pretending like he couldn’t get up. “Ivy, come help me!”

The girl peeked around the side of the couch. “I don’t know if I’d trust him.” Sam said, still filming the whole thing.

“I can’t get up!” Colby continued.

Ivy started slowly walking towards Colby, leaning over to see what he was doing. Colby laid there with his eyes closed not moving an inch. “Blue?” Ivy said, reaching down to poke him.

“Got you!” Colby half shouted, sitting up and pulling Ivy to his lap. He tickled her again, laughing quite a bit himself.

“You fibbed” she squealed out between laughs.

Colby chuckled and stopped tickling her. “I’m sorry”, he said, pulling her into a hug. He looked up at Sam and remembered they had been filming a video. “I think that’s all we’re going to get done for this one, guys” Colby laughed, addressing his audience. “Make sure to like and subscribe. Hit up all my social media pages. I’ll make sure to link Y/n and Sam down below so make sure you check them out too.” Colby looked down at Ivy. “Wave bye to the camera, Ivy”

“Byyyye” she waved, laughing when Colby tickled her again.

“Alright, guys. See you next week!” Colby waved to the camera.

“I am sweating to death” Sam said, starting to take the hoodies off.

“You think you’re sweating? I’ve got on twice as many, brother.” Colby whined, struggling to get them off of himself. “I’m going to shower and edit, so I probably won’t see you guys again tonight”, he said, looking up at Y/n.

“I have to be at Mike’s early tomorrow anyways” Y/n replied, looking at the time.

“You look nervous”, Colby chuckled, shedding the last of the hoodies.

“It’s always nerve-wracking working with someone new. I’m equal parts excited and nervous.” She explained.

“You’re going to do great.” Colby said, standing up and looking at her fondly. “Seriously. You write amazing music and your voice…come on. Your voice is killer.”

Y/n blushed. “Thank you. I think I needed that.” She said, turning to head to her bedroom. “Come on, Ivy!”

Ivy ran to Colby, reaching up for him to pick her up. “You have to get to bed, kiddo.” He said, picking her up.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Night, blue.”

Colby couldn’t help the smile on his face. “Goodnight, sweetheart”, he replied, putting her down so she could head to her mom. He was up editing for a few hours and when he checked the living room, all of the lights were off. He made sure the front door was locked and headed to bed.

“Ivy, you need to eat your breakfast so we can start our day.” Y/n quietly told her daughter for the 3rd time. Ivy laid her head down on the coffee table with her hand to her other cheek. “Aww, baby. Your teeth?” Y/n realized why her daughter had woken up in a mood.

Ivy nodded as a few tears fell down her cheeks. Y/n grabbed her ice pack and picked ivy up, cradling her in her arms with the ice pack against her cheek.

Colby was up the second he heard Ivy crying. He shot out of bed and hurried into the living room in just his sweatpants ready to tackle whatever made that little girl cry. “What’s going on?” he said, looking around until he saw the two girls on the couch. “What happened?” he asked, kneeling down in front of them.

“Nothing happened. I’m sorry she woke you up.” Y/n apologized, “She’s got a few more baby teeth coming in.”

“Stop apologizing”, Colby said, his voice still thick with sleep. He grabbed Ivy’s hand “I’m sorry you’re hurting.” Looking up at Y/n he asked, “Is there any medicine we can give her to help?”

“Yeah, actually. It’s in my room.” She answered, going to stand up.

“Here.” Colby said, putting his arms out for Ivy to come to him. “Why don’t you go grab the medicine and I’ll take this one.”

Ivy clung on to Colby, tucking her face in his neck. “Oooo your cheek is cold”, Colby laughed. “Do you want the ice?” he asked her, feeling her shake her head no.

“Here you go, baby.” Y/n walked into the kitchen to grab a spoon. “This will help you.” Ivy lifted her head to take her medicine and quickly tucked her face back in Colby’s neck. “This stuff always makes her so sleepy.”

“You’ll feel better soon.” Colby said, lightly bouncing her in his arms.

“I’ll go grab her a comfy outfit so she can sleep in her car-seat.” Y/n said, turning to head to her room.

“Y/n, you can just leave her here”, Colby suggested, continuing to bounce the little girl in his arms.

“I’m going to be gone all day, though.” Y/n replied, putting her hand on Ivy’s back.

“So? We can go back to bed for a while, I’ll make sure she gets something to eat in a little bit, and you won’t be stressing about her on your first writing day with Mike.” Colby reassured her.

Y/n thought about it. “Maybe I can come home for lunch.” She said, “I’d feel bad if you had to watch her all day.”

“Y/n, I don’t HAVE to do anything. I’m volunteering. And if you install her car-seat in my car, I can bring her to visit you guys if she’s feeling better when she wakes up.” He offered.

Y/n took in the scene in front of her. Colby was standing there shirtless, gently bouncing her daughter, rubbing soothing circles into her back. His hair was a mess and his eyes were closed as he mumbled little ‘you’re okays’ to Ivy. *I could get used to this* she thought to herself, finally warming up to the fact that maybe some people really do care. Not everyone wants something from you.  “You’re a hard man to argue with.” Y/n smiled up at him.

“Then don’t argue with me.” Colby smirked.

Y/n reached up and pressed a kiss to Colby’s cheek. “I’m going to go get dressed”, she said, looking down at Ivy. “And this one is already half asleep so you two are good to go back to bed.”

“Does she have like a blanket she likes or a stuffed animal or something?” He asked, following Y/n.

“She’s never liked stuffed animals, actually.” Y/n answered. “Here’s her little security blanket.”

"I’ll grab that, we’re going to go nap, and you have a great day.” Colby said, sleepily wandering back to his room. He left his door open so Y/n could stop by if she wanted to before she left. “Let go, sweetheart.” Colby whispered to Ivy, laying her down on his bed and handing her her little blanket. He made sure she was on the side that was against the wall so that she didn’t roll off. “Your mom said you didn’t like stuffed animals, but this guy here is special.” He said, grabbing his stuffed koala.

Ivy sniffled, little remnants of her crying finally fading. “Thank you”

“Get some sleep.” He said, crawling into bed “You’ll feel better soon.”

When Y/n finished getting ready about an hour later, she quietly tiptoed into Colby’s room. She immediately grabbed her phone, taking a picture of the precious sight before her. Colby was on his side and Ivy was the cutest little spoon you’ve ever seen. In her arms was the stuffed Koala and Colby’s arm was draped over both of them, snoring.

Over the next week or so, it became a habit that when Y/n would wake up early to go write with Mike, Ivy would just crawl into bed with Colby. He would wake up hours later to tiny cuddles. They’d get dressed, go sit at some restaurant for lunch, and then bring food to Mike and Y/n. In fact, Colby’s video this week was just vlog footage of him and Ivy. They had gone to the zoo, gotten ice cream or food a dozen times, and gone to the park to swing. Today, Brennen brought Kobe over to the apartment so Colby and him could film a video for Brennen’s channel.

“I never thought I’d think something was cuter than my dog, but damn.” Brennen laughed, watching Ivy and Kobe play fetch.

Colby laughed, reminding Ivy not to throw the toy in the kitchen. He didn’t want her to get hurt on the corners of the counter. “She’s something”, he said, hearing Ivy call out an “I’m sorry.”

“You’re okay, sweetheart. I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Colby smiled.

“You’re in full dad mode, bro.” Brennen said, smirking over at one of his best friends.

Colby looked at him with his eyebrows furrowed together. “Am not.”

“My dude, it’s obvious you care about her. And you haven’t shut up about Y/n.” Brennen laughed, hitting Colby’s chest with the back of his hand. “You haven’t come out partying once since they got here.”

“First, y/n obviously doesn’t like me like that. She’s been here for 2 weeks and absolutely nothing has happened. No real flirting, no nothing. So, I can pine all I want, but I’m going to have to accept it when they leave.” Colby said, trying not to sound sad about that fact.

“I disagree”, Brennen tried to sneak in, but Colby continued talking, giving him a look.

“And second, I do care about Ivy.” Colby said, hearing her break out in a fit of laughter as Kobe licked her face. “I have this feeling that her dad was a dirtbag.”

“Yeah?” Brennen asked.

“Y/n would fight back tears the whole first week she was here whenever we were nice to her. Like, just our normal friends group level of nice.” Colby said, thinking back on how Y/n had reacted. “And Ivy apologized for everything. She accidentally spilled water on the coffee table and kept asking me if I was sure she wasn’t in trouble. Like, who the fuck would get mad over spilling water? Especially at their own daughter?”

“Have you talked to Y/n about it?” Bren asked.

“No. I kind of let her know I knew something was going on. That I was here. That she could talk to me whenever she was ready, I just…They don’t deserve that, dude. They deserve all the love in the world.” Colby continued watching Ivy and Kobe play.

“I gotta head out, but I’m going to say something to you first.” Brennen said, waiting for Colby to look at him. “I know you’re young. I know. #Brolby. We’re wild boys that like to have fun and do stupid shit so I know I’m not who you expected this to come from…but you’ve got a lot of love to give, brother. My dad didn’t give two shits about what happened to my siblings or my mom. It’s fucking obvious you care. A LOT. So don’t NOT take your chance because your palms get sweaty around your crush. There’s a lot more riding on this than whether or not a girl rejects you. No one’s going to love that little girl as much as you already do.”

Brennen stood up, putting his phone in his pocket and grabbing his camera. “Preciosa mío, come say bye to uncle Brennen.” He called out, picking Ivy up when she ran to him. “I promise I’ll bring Kobe back to play soon.” He kissed her on the cheek and put her down.

“Hey Ivy, if you go put on your jacket, we can go see mommy and Mike.” Colby stood up, following Brennen to the door.

Ivy ran to her room squealing about getting to play with more dogs.

“Brennen.” Colby said, pulling him into their usual bro hug when he turned around. When Brennen went to pull away, Colby held him tight for a second. “Thanks, man.”

Brennen clapped him on the back, “Anytime, brother.”

part 3...

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