#sorry to anyone unrelated who reads this

[necronoia]

I don’t think of you often, and I imagine you never think of me. Though, I thought of you yesterday, while in a store with a friend. They tried on sunglasses you once had or wanted. Sometimes I consider “what if-“ and think about what it would be like to know you now.

That’s where this comes from: I hope you found a better place. I hope you and Bart found better lives. I hope you grew from that person that you were. I hope you flourished and that WA treats you well and the boy better than it treats you.

I don’t care to find your answer to this, and I don’t care to dredge up the past. I just wanted to see your artwork and reminisce on the friend I lost. There are so many things I sometimes think I’d tell you- and so many things I can no longer watch or listen to.

I wish we were still friends, and I hate the way things ended. I hope your support system is no longer your shitty ass mother and her shitty ass common law husband. I am so glad I didn’t know them during Covid and quarantine.

I am thankful you left. Things were bad in that apartment- totally not the worst thing ever, and certainly not abusive like your letter stated- we only had like two disagreements ever.

I wish you had been honest with me. I regret that you didn’t feel like you could just talk to me. I don’t regret throwing your things over your mothers wall. I regret not knowing for certain if your mother pissed in my closet- though I suspect she did.

I’ve gotten off track. It doesn’t matter. I was going to do this with less specifics, because I don’t care if you knew it was me. It’s not like you ever think about me or reached out. You didn’t and you’ll probably have anxiety attacks over this stupid message, anyway.

Long story short, sometimes I think about you, sometimes I don’t. I hope your life got better and I hope beanboy is happy.

i wasn't going to respond, but i just keep getting angrier and angrier at this message. i figure that's what you want out of me, to get upset. i've had one hell of a last couple days, so maybe had you hit me any other time i'd have just ignored you like i reasonably should. because this is what you want right? a reaction? whether you're willing to admit it to yourself or not. you can say "i don't care" as many times as you want. why else would you have gone through all the trouble of finding me, scrolling through my blog for at least 9 pages (bc i haven't mentioned where i'm living anywhere else except in a post 9 pages deep), and then typing this out?

even if you didn't send this with that intent, because you don't want to "dredge up the past", you're showing me you haven't fucking grown at all.

i left the way i did because i was scared of you. you treated me like fucking garbage every single day. you constantly called me stupid despite me asking you not to, repeatedly, and told me it was fine because you were "just joking". i'm "ridiculous" as you'd often say.

i did practically everything in that apartment, i cooked i cleaned i took care of the cats, etc, and i would've been okay with that to a reasonable extent if you could've just been fucking NICE to me! or grateful in any way! instead of constantly fucking lashing out at me, often times literally for doing exactly what you told me to (because you constantly ordered me around). i couldn't say no to anything you asked because you'd passive aggressively huff and get frustrated and say "it's fine, whatever" in a way that made it clear it was NOT fine, in a way that was meant to make me feel like shit and feel scared until i complied. because i was easy as hell to manipulate like that.

i picked up your gross ass dirty laundry that you'd leave strewn about the house. i cleaned up the trash you'd stuff into random nooks and crannies in the living room. when you couldn't be assed to dig through the laundry pile that was your bedroom for work clothes, you'd "ask" me to do it for you. and i would, despite my disgust, because the alternative was you being passive aggressive and making me feel like fucking garbage for having any kind of boundaries. i remember distinctly, how upset you were that you had to do your own laundry because my mom wouldn't let me bring your clothes to her house to wash when i did mine (which, is fucking reasonable! i am not your goddamn maid!), and i refused to do it for you at the apartment laundromat too.

do you remember yelling at me for not cutting your food how you wanted? and making me go back to the kitchen to do it again? despite the fact you're a GROWN FUCKING ADULT and could've cut your own fucking food? (or at least just ASKED NICELY????) do you remember screaming at me because i didn't want to go to a fucking birthday party? because literally all i said was "do we have to?" huh? i sure do! i sure do have recurring stress dreams about it and every other time you lashed out at me! about pretending to be asleep when you got home so you wouldn't start ordering me around! of being terrified every time something went wrong! i still panic now, with the people in my life who don't behave that way, when something goes wrong like a car issue or an item going missing! because living with you meant getting lashed out at every time something like that happened! it has done lasting fucking damage to my psyche, on top of the damage that was already there!

you say you wish i could've been honest with you. but the thing is, I WAS. MULTIPLE TIMES. multiple times i told you the way you treated me made me feel like shit, one time i even broke down crying and we had a whole talk about it. you told me you'd work on it. BUT NOTHING CHANGED. except, you decided that the way I felt made YOU feel like a monster, that you had to walk on eggshells around me - because i was SCARED OF YOU and the fact you were CONSTANTLY LASHING OUT AT ME while simultaneously ordering me around like some sort of maid/bulter/punching bag/emotional support animal.

you would WAKE ME UP FROM SLEEP to find items you lost, and then fucking lash out at me when i didn't APPEAR to be looking hard enough, or looked somewhere you already did (which i couldn't possibly have fucking known, and if i'd asked you'd ALSO snap at me). like, i get that that's a specific trigger for you, but that's NO EXCUSE for how you treated me. every time you lost something i would shut down, my heart would be pounding in fear as i desperately tried to make it look like i was searching "hard enough" or made myself look busy enough that you wouldn't yell at me. it didn't matter though. you'd find some way to take out your anxieties on me anyway.

i'm an amicable person, i try to be helpful. i would've been fine with having to help you do things, with taking care of the majority of housework (within reason), i could've dealt with it just fine if you had literally just treated me nicely.

and no, my mom didn't piss in your closet, i can tell you that for sure. that's a pretty wild conclusion to come to. it was probably the cats, because their litter box didn't get cleaned enough because i was so overwhelmed all the fucking time that i didn't clean it enough, and you never did. no idea if that changed when i left.

"it's not like you ever think about me or reached out" lol grow up with this passive aggressive bullshit. last thing i heard from you was you throwing a box of shit over the wall of my parents' place, most of which wasn't even mine, and included a poster you literally tore off the wall and an angry note about wasting the last 7 years.

so read everything i've written above again start to finish and tell me why i should've kept someone who treated me like that in my life. someone who took me for granted and took their emotions out on me and ignored my requests for better treatment SO HARD that they think i didn't even try to communicate them.

never contact me again.

#i may delete this later #sorry to anyone unrelated who reads this

[hrokkall]

Saw a post the other day asking how P03 is able to see; my best guess is something like this.

I actually inspected P03′s 3D model for this which I don’t usually do (and then I proceeded to draw it off-model anyway. Whoops) but even outside of its hypothetical camera-vision, there’s a few other things of note:

P03 seems to have a lot of large vents (or at least things that look like some sort of ventilation/cooling). Two major ones on the chest, three on the top of the head (with potentially another on the side of its head), and one on the underside of its base (though that one might be for the hologram projection it uses to float). My best guess is that it’s because his factory is built right by the water where there would be a TON of moisture in the air. For that reason, some of them have got to be exhausts to make sure all of the air circulating in his torso is dry. That or he just overheats extremely easily I guess, but I’m leaning towards the humidity explanation (or it could be a combination of the two).

Its “eyes” are somewhere on the front of its face; whether it sees through a camera or just through the eyes on the screen via video game magic is up for debate, but it turns to face the player when they stand up so its vision probably isn’t on the sides of its head or something.

Similarly, P03 has some sort of sensitivity to touch (he reacts to Leshy’s hands gripping his monitor before Leshy says anything). I don’t think any “touch sensors” would be externally visible though.

Presumably (based on the ending to Act 3) P03′s head isn’t just a monitor, there’s vital systems in there as well (otherwise tearing its head off wouldn’t do anything to disrupt its upload/its ability to function). My best guess is that his power supply is in his chest so it would be the equivalent of just... unplugging your computer while it’s trying to preform updates.

The wire it uses to connect to the modules to update cards in Act 3 seems to come from either its neck or its torso, but in act 2 it’s very visibly on the side of the head. Granted the act 2 sprites are all pretty different from the Scrybes’ 3D models so that’s not an outlier.

The range of motion in P03′s arm seems pretty similar to a human arm; he has a ball-and-socket joint on the shoulder and a hinge joint on his elbow plus separate segments for the “wrist” and “hand”. The only thing it probably can’t do is twist its forearm.

I don’t have any idea what either of the cranks do. The head crank moves when it changes its expression so it might have something to do with its display, but the arm crank is only shown doing anything on the G0lly Uberbot hologram. My best guess is that P03 used to have a lot more built-in functions but ended up removing them in order to operate faster so a lot of the buttons and switches on it are just vestigial leftovers. (The idea of the arm crank being able to function as a hand-crank motor in a pinch is really funny though. Spin it a few times when P03 is out of power and you can generate just enough battery for it to tell you to fuck off then go back into sleep mode again).

I have no idea how the levitation works either. It’s cool and that’s why it works. No need to get more complicated than that.

#P03 #Hrokkall Sketch #Leshy is there too I guess but I'm not tagging him #I will talk about him for a second though #Unrelated to P03 but I headcanon Leshy had claws at one point (and still could grow them back) #He just chewed them off out of stress at some point between KMod and the main game #I have no idea who OP of the other post was that one's on me (and tumblr's search function is kind of shit so I can't find it </3) #Also I'll be honest I know nothing I'm saying is new: this is moreso reference for me #Sorry to anyone looking in the P03 maintag; this is just tagged with it for blog organization </3 #I might elaborate on some of this tomorrow (and make a more on-model drawing) I just wanted to get my thoughts down #EDIT: Feel free to add on! Please share your thoughts in my inbox if you have them I love reading them #EDIT 2: Added alt text + fixed some confusing wording #EDIT 3: Original post was by exlann

[azol-otl]

Random Jason Hijinks I either wish would happen someday or find amusing to think about.

Rose and Jason break Eddie out of hell and steal his soul back from Neron. Jaime is dragged along by Rose because he and Eddie were “friends a few reboots ago”. Jason asked Roy who sent him Connor who is suffering™.

Pre-Red Hood Jason and Pre-Green Arrow Connor first meet up back when Jason was part of the All-Caste hunting a demon. It’s a one-shot adventure and the things you have to know are:  

a) this is before Jason’s growth spurt so he’s over a head shorter than Connor.

b) Connor isn’t a cape so excuse him for not understanding demons and fucking up hilariously a few times.

c) When Jason tries to kill the demon who is possessing the human, he and Connor fight about it. The fight ends when the demon explodes out of the person like the Pus of Man from Dark Souls 3.

d) Talia is the one who finds and picks up Jason from the adventure (Connor thinks she’s his mom and Jason just didn’t inherit the melanin) and is also the one who gives Connor contact information for Jason because she wants him to have some sort of friend.

e) They never actually learned the other’s name so anytime they’d hear about Red Hood or Green Arrow they literally don’t know it’s that guy they met as teenagers.

Jason decides to actually dust off his mystic training when Dick walks in and Jason gets hit with so many bad vibes he’s genuinely worried something is wrong with Dick.  

Jason: “Did they not fix the Brother Blood mind control thing fully? Did Raven miss something? Isn’t Dick friends with a million people? How have they all missed this????”

It ends with bringing Danny Chase back to life and the only person remotely happy about it is Jason and even that’s a stretch.

Rose, why are you part of the Wild Hunt?!!!

What do you mean Biz got taken by the fae?!

Roy, why is this werewolf saying he’s your husband?!

Eddie, why didn’t you tell me you were a prince of hell? What do you mean that one of Trigon’s sons is buried in Gotham?!!! No wait, you still haven’t told me how you’re a prince of hell!

Jason and Talia's road trip where Jason comes to the uncomfortable realization that he views Talia as a mother/aunt figure.

Bonus Artemis suffering Jason’s Mom Has it Going On.

Jason gets a new dog named Ellie and he loves her and Dog very much. What do you mean she’s a Blue Lantern!?

Ellie is short for Elpis and she’s absolutely Hope Corgi.

Roy finds out that he has a whole-ass checking account under one of his aliases that he never knew about. Turns out Jason created it for him years ago and Roy’s actually under W.E.  employed as an independent contractor and he’s been making 6 figures for years because Jason never bothered telling anyone that he still owns Wayne R&D.

Jason slowly but surely claims Park Row and the surrounding areas as his territory. It has the unforeseen consequence of magical folk moving into the neighborhood because Gotham is a nightmare to live in normally, Magic Gotham is even worse and the only people who can survive are big hitters like Blood, Zatanna, and Ivy or small fries like the kitchen witch near Leslie’s. Welcome to the big leagues, Jason.

Jason keeps getting mistaken for Jason Blood and it is annoying. One day some demon hunters threw something at Jason and did anyone know Jason used to be in heaven because he sure didn’t and these angel wings are a fucking nightmare.

Rose busts a gut laughing because she somehow became friends with the least demon-y demon Eddie and Jason as an angel.

Jason, Ivy, Sideways, and Impulse (Impulse voice: “Why am I even here?”) vs the Madness Wavelength in Arkham.

Jason kills Joker and finds out that he cannot. Not as in “He doesn’t die” or “There will be a new one” but a secret third option, “The universe literally resets the day every time he’s killed.” Instead of being a tragedy, it becomes a comedy as killing Joker slowly becomes Jason’s go-to when shit goes wrong/killing him is good stress relief. Stephanie discovers what happens because she’s had to write the same essay nine times once. Instead of being horrified they (and then Helena, Tim, Duke, etc.) make killing Joker a gag. The only ones not allowed to kill the Joker are Dick and Bruce because then the universe decides it’s the bad timeline instead of just resetting again.

Tim: *drops his latte on a hot guy and then embarrasses himself in public trying to apologize and becomes a meme.*

Tim: I guess I have to kill Joker now.

Jason and Kory remeeting and wow it’s really awkward that we only got close because of a universe meddler and then you dipped and never contacted me again even though I was a hundred percent serious that you were one of my first friends and are very important to me.

Oh no. Not the talking. Not communication! Kory take mercy on me and just drop me like a bad memory don’t have us open a dialogue where we reconcile all of the bullshit that happened to us and the fact that we did genuinely get close at very low points in our lives and be willing to try and be friends again!

Give! Kory! All! The! Friends! She doesn’t care if you think it’s a bad idea, it's her life!

Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club (GVTC) featuring Jason, Tim, Stephanie, Duke, Helena, and Harper. They each get a turn as dm and every one of them brings in a different game.

Why is Damian’s friend (Colin) asking me for love advice? I’m a gay disaster ask anyone else please. ??? I guess I can try to help??? Who’s your crush?

It’s Lian and Jason regrets agreeing to help because Roy is going to murder him.

Countdown 2 Electric Boogaloo. Except for this time they were all shoved into the dimension separately and by separate events and there is no danger. It is just a multiversal road trip with the people who vexed you greatly but are slightly grown up now.

Bonus scene includes Jason’s gleeful face when he realizes he understands what all of those words Donna keeps muttering under her breath mean because Artemis was a bro and taught him Themysciran Greek.

#I didn't mean for all of them to sound like comedies but sometimes that just happens #People may hate on the all-caste for not being Jason enough or whatever #But have we ever stopped to think that Damian is related to an immortal cult and Duke is the son of an eldritch being #And Dick is related to an unrelated cult and just all the weird shit that happens in Gotham anyways? #Why can all these exist and Jason not also have mystic monk training he never uses #Listen I don't know much about Gotham's magic population but I'm pretty sure the place is awful to live in with the nine different curses #So having a dude that's basically a mage-killer claim a territory can only be a good thing for their safety #Plus I'm positive that magic folk would keep property values low because who would go looking for magic users in Park Row #Everyone was written terribly for rhato but Jason and Kory had the potential to be a really interesting relationship #Just this lack of judgement and ability to not have to shave down all of your sharp edges for one another #also I do really like the idea of them trying romance or sex and then deciding that they need friends more and then staying friends #Gotham Vigilante Tabletop Club my beloved #Look Duke and Tim canonically play tabletop games and if dc would finally acknowledge that Stephanie and Jason are nerds they would too #I miss Colin and the idea of him and Jason being disaster siblings or disaster guardian-child is important to me #I don't know if it's canon but considering linguistic drift Themyscira should either have its own language or dialect #and Donna should use it to say mean things under her breath #Jason Todd #I am not tagging anyone else their tags deserve to be Bat-Free #oh boy do I love how I can't make indents in even in html. Sorry for the eyesore whoever reads this mess

[muninnhuginn]

Thinking about Seo Dongjae’s arc and how Lee Changjoon factors into it.

Spoilers for both seasons of Stranger under the cut.

Both came from similar backgrounds in that they were ‘disadvantaged’ compared to their peers. Lee Changjoon didn’t come from a family as wealthy as the chaebols and Lee Yeonjae is explicitly said to have married ‘down’ when she married him instead of Kim Byunghyun. Seo Dongjae meanwhile wasn’t an alumni of a prestigious university and so doesn’t have the same connections as many of his colleagues. This pushes them both in different ways. Dongjae towards latching onto the nearest person he thinks he can use to give him a leg up. Changjoon towards the murky business of Hanjo and his father-in-law.

As season 1 progresses, Dongjae and Changjoon become more distant. We’re told that they used to be closer and have been growing apart over the course of the early episodes as Dongjae’s suspicion of his boss grows. Dongjae is still an opportunist though and so he returns back under Changjoon when given the chance. Ultimately, survival is what matters most for him and if it’s playing all sides that keeps him from being arrested that’s just what he’ll do.

Changjoon took Dongjae on to be his employee on the condition he stay away from Hanjo and his father-in-law. In retrospect, I’m inclined to believe this was his way of protecting Dongjae from their influence rather than because of worries Dongjae could ‘expose’ him. After all, Changjoon intended to expose Hanjo himself and so keeping Dongjae away from them doesn’t particularly help with this. If anything, he’s limiting potential information Dongjae can obtain to only the pieces more relevant to himself.

And, of course, Changjoon told Dongjae to not follow his path with his dying breaths. He could see the direction Dongjae was heading (and was already far enough down to have an arrest warrant out in his name) and knew where it had ended for him. Changjoon knew how how hard it is to extricate yourself once you’ve started down the corrupt route. But he also knew it wasn’t too late for Dongjae. Eunsoo proved that Dongjae couldn’t stomach being a killer.

Season two Dongjae, for all he’s still trying to make inroads and build connections in dubious ways, does show signs of growth. The fact he looked further into the Choi Bit and Park Gwangsu when Woo Taeha tried to draw him away from them is evidence of that. Looking further in this case would not endear him to the very person he wants to gain a promotion from. Also, it does seem like he was genuinely invested in his role in juvenile crimes, in even ‘simple’ bullying cases. And that in of itself helped him unlock the beach case. There was also how didn’t particularly socialise with others at his current office and mainly kept to himself which is a far cry from his early season 1 behaviour. Of course, the last point is somewhat weakened by the way he was most definitely networking outside of his station, but it adds to the sense of isolation and desperation present in everyone this season. His motivation skews increasingly towards his family and dissatisfaction with the whole system (though as a prosecutor he aims most of his ire at the police force).

There’s a part in the second season where Dongjae says something about how looking too deeply into places regardless of what everyone else wants can get you in trouble. And at the time the most obvious person it applies to is Simok (and also Eunsoo, but that stays silent) but in a number of ways it applies to Dongjae himself in this season. He’s probably lucky he was taken out by the culprit he was when you look at the other potential suspects. He has a lot of new powerful enemies. And those enemies are still future threats to him (as Lee Yeonjae demonstrates aptly). For a character so focused on survival historically, his choice should be clear when it comes to whether he speaks up or whether he chooses to stay silent. And yet, he’s shown enough growth that it isn’t clear anymore.

In the dream sequence in season 2, the subtext is pretty clear as to why each person appears. They’re all people who quite literally ‘lost their way or lost their life’. Changjoon (life/way - self-explanatory), Kang (strayed his way but chose to leave), Eunsoo (life, and also her way - though not in the corrupt sense, more how her revenge consumed her and she made self-destructive choices), Yoon (way, though importantly *not* his life). And Dongjae being there is partly to raise the potential he won’t make it, but most of all, it’s there to say that Dongjae hasn’t yet chosen his own path.

As of the season two finale, we don’t know which direction he’ll choose to go.

#stranger #stranger 2 #secret forest #secret forest 2 #tvn stranger #tvn secret forest #(sorry idk the best tags for this so just went for the ones I've seen around) #wanted to maybe muse about how lee yeonjae said her husband may not have chosen dongjae to take him down in the same way as simok #but he was still someone important enough for her to realise #also I skimmed over the implications in the gap between s1 and s2 about dongjae returning to his old ways #I do think it's relevant and is another reason his arc could so easily go either way but couldn't figure out how to put it in #also unrelated but the thoughts I have about young iljae's idea that family = justice is fascinating when applied to others #changjoon. yoon. young eunsoo. dongjae. and then at the other end you have simok. but anyway #this tangented a lot oops #also. if anyone reads this who hasn't watched stranger all you need to know is that dongjae is charismatic but slimy

[floralovebot]

Hi, I want to ask your opinion on something. You made a post that said changing the Winx's races is bad. I agree that it's not okay but I have a question about Helia. I thought he was Native American when I was a child but you've said he's Asian. Is it wrong to think he's Native American?

I had to think about how to answer this for a while tbh! Sorry for the late reply

Anyway, I probably could answer this with a simple yes or no but I really feel like I should explain my answer.

I'm pretty sure you're referencing this post! Anyway, the biggest issue with race changing the canon characters of color is that when you do it, you're participating in erasure. Again, it's not more representation to, for example, make Flora asian - it's erasure because you're intentionally erasing her being latina. Now like I said, I don't have an issue with like,, children not noticing their canon races or ethnicities. It's perfectly fine if a little kid sees characters as something else! The problem is grown adults ignoring and erasing their canon races.

When it comes to Helia specifically, he is very much coded as asian, specifically east asian. I want to clarify that it's not explicitly canon. Rainbow has never stated what race he's supposed to represent and they've never said if he was based on a real person. We don't even know what planet he's actually from! So his race is all coding. However, that coding is still,,, fairly obvious. And I specifically want to touch on how Rainbow depicts their east asian characters versus their indigenous characters.

Most of their east asian characters have either dark blue, black, or brown hair and more narrow eyes. Like,, that's their go-to when trying to make a character Noticeably asian. They're also fond of putting their asian characters in traditional clothing (like qi pao or hanfu) rather than casual clothing. I added Helia at the very bottom so you can see how he compares to other, canonically asian characters.

While Rainbow has absolutely depicted asian characters in offensive ways (espero...), it's usually pretty respectful. Meanwhile,,, their depiction of indigenous characters is... anything but.

Like before, I put a picture of Helia so you can compare him to the canonically indigenous characters. As you can see here, their depiction of indigenous characters is,, extremely racist! It follows a lot of racist stereotypes like red skin, face paint, headdress, feathers, etc. Just,,, all around Not Good. And you'll notice that Helia doesn't really "fit in" visually. That's not to say that he has to look like that to be indigenous but remember that this is an animated show with intentional designs made by white people. If he was meant to be seen as indigenous, he would likely share more characteristics with these characters (like having darker, red-toned skin). Again, their depiction of indigenous characters is extremely racist. I don't think there's a single indigenous character in winx that doesn't look like a walking stereotype out of an old cowboy film. Unfortunately, Helia would absolutely look different and more like those racist designs if he was meant to be indigenous.

Now, to actually answer your question. Is it okay to see Helia as indigenous, and specifically indigenous to the americas? Well... as Helia's racial coding is still just coding and not explicit, it's not a crime if you don't see him as asian. Like,, while I do absolutely think he was meant to be seen as asian, it's still technically ambiguous enough that it's not a Bad thing if you don't see him as such.

That said, you need to be extremely careful with how you think of and portray Helia as indigenous. I've talked before about Rainbow including quite a few stereotypes about east asian men with Helia, and unfortunately, most if not all of them, can also apply to indigenous men. For example, Helia is calmer and wise (often shown to give advice in poetic ways), connected to nature (ie, birds, plants, Flora), frequently meditates, etc. These are all common stereotypes for indigenous men. I'd actually recommend reading this wikipedia article!

Anyway, seeing him as indigenous isn't inherently wrong, but there's absolutely a chance that you're picking up on indigenous stereotyping rather than coding or a headcanon. Like the long hair, connection to nature, the pacifist comment, the weird and kind of cryptic one-liners he occasionally has... Unfortunately, a lot of the indigenous!Helia headcanons/redesigns I've seen have been really racist. And the common reasoning for why they think he's indigenous often comes down to these common stereotypes.

So like,,, god I know this is long but honestly the answer is complicated. It's not a simple yes or no. It really, really depends on why you think he's indigenous. Like. Just ask yourself yknow? Why do you think this? Think of an actual reason that isn't just "vibes". And if you're creating any kind of content, even if it's just daydreaming tbh, how are you depicting him? Is there even the slightest hint of a stereotypical depiction? (And again, please research stereotypical depictions because there are a lot and quite a few contradict each other)

If you're confident that you're not stereotyping him, then honestly, it's not that bad to see him as indigenous. I do ask that you try to see and understand him being asian coded, as I do think that's important, regardless of whether or not it's in your face explicit. However, it's not like. a crime if you don't see him as asian. Just be very, very, Very careful with how you think of and portray indigenous!Helia.

Also,,, I didn't know quite how to fit this into the rest of the post but,, while it's not Bad for you to not see Helia as asian, you should think about why that is. For example, there are still a lot of people in the fandom who don't see Nabu as asian, despite his coding being extremely in your face and honestly canon at this point. But because he has darker skin, he's from Andros, and he was with Aisha, a lot of people assumed he was black. That's not inherently a bad thing, but some of those people get really mad when others point out that he's very much south asian which,,, is a bad thing. I understand the feeling of losing rep and wanting to protect that, but you shouldn't bulldoze other groups to do it.

I'm not sure what your opinion of asian Helia is, but if you're like,, against him being asian or refuse to see that very intentional coding just because you really like the idea of him being indigenous,, you should think about that and reassess things.

#long post #sorry but i feel like its important enough to not put under a read more #winx helia #answered #if anyone here is indigenous or asian and you want to chime in please do so! #like im asian so i can only speak on this from that point of view #so if anyone is indigenous and wants to speak on this matter feel free! #standard if youre white dont add on disclaimer #this is not your discussion #but id love to hear thoughts on this from someone who is indigenous #like. if you watched winx as a kid did you think he was indigenous? or do you think that now? #i feel like its pretty standard to think of characters we like as part of our groups #like i always thought riven and tecna were asian because of that #honestly if winx had more indigenous characters that didnt have racist designs id be a lot more on board #but literally all of their indigenous characters are extremely racist stereotypes #:( #besides the fact that helia does have actual asian coding. i think thats a big reason why i could never fully get behind- #him being indigenous because like... have you SEEN their indigenous characters??? #goddamn #also unrelated but the people who say helia cant be asian just because his name is greek like do you think musa is a chinese name adhg

[thiefking]

i still really want to post the full volo execution on here because i think i did a REALLY good job writing it but the issue is.

there are two video components . i don't know if i can add two videos in one post... i don't think i can if i don't make it a youtube link and that would be... clunky

when i originally posted the execution i had a lot of precise control over the SPEED it was posted, it was over discord so i spaced out certain paragraphs and waited for the videos to be viewed by everyone (watched for chat reactions over certain lines that are only at the very end of each video) before i continued so as to prevent anyone from reading ahead and also to create the exact tense atmosphere i desired. now granted i did have people read it for me before and after it was time for the execution itself and the pacing seemed solid BUT i wanted to take it a step further and ENSURE it was all read exactly how i wanted it to be

the context. holy shit is there so much missing context. sure yeah i could just say "it's from a multiverse killing game rp, it's basically danganronpa in space and you can have volo from pokemon, billy joe cobra from dude that's my ghost, whirl from transformers, and shego from kim possible (all real examples. spamton was the first murderer btw.) all in the same room at once and no one bats an eye" but. i almost feel like that wouldn't cut it because you also need to know i only write my volo the way i think it would be FUN to write volo (rather than what i think is canon) and that's with his god complex turned up to 1 trillion, if you wanted to know anything from "why was there a steak keychain" to "why turtle" i'd need to explain the folklore/folktales i was referencing and built the entire execution's theme around, you'd need to see the murder + attempted murder that he was getting executed for to begin with, you'd need to know the attempted murder was fucking joshua from twewy, you'd need to know joshua from twewy is unity's best friend, you'd need to know volo is/was dating unity and they had a hateromance for almost the entire duration of the game thus far (started hateflirting on day 2, had a potent emotional moment day 20, became officially romantically involved i think literally the same day that we were allowed to start establishing romantic relationships with the characters on day 42, and they lasted all the way until day 311 when volo was executed), you'd need to fucking know who unity is to begin with and they are literally an oc, like do you see the problem here it won't hit as hard if you don't know the context. this also isn't even all of the context i need to give. my joshua has 6 wings. that's important to know if i were to include the body drop photo that shows off the result of volo's murder/arts and crafts project/torture session so you don't think he only had 2 and consequently wonder how volo could have chopped off 4 of them

#txt #kinmd of a long post sorry the vyvanse does this to me . #am i nonetheless confident that the execution CAN be enjoyed without all of that context? yeah #but it's so much better when you have things to tie it back to #the folklore reference list i also did not provide anyone before posting the execution but i think it's a REALLY good follow-up #that and some other theming i added in that might otherwise go unnoticed or understated #but are spoilers for the text itself #so necessarily would have to come afterwards #i need to go work on this unrelated neocities page tbh but i'm also thinking about how i might be able to post this #just for anyoen who is curious #or who just wants to read some Fun Unhinged Volo Fiction where he's lived 200 years and the god complex has only gotten worse because of it

[sl33py-g4m3r]

Used to listen to this a lot when I was reading through the vn~~

Still slaps~~~~

Will listen to Umineko music until the day I die ~~

#youtube #youtube video #music #umineko #umineko no naku koro ni #umineko ost #umineko no naku koro ni ost #image song #????? #i think #kina no kaori #ai no shiren #english subbed #lyrics #vocal #vocals #zepar #furfur #zepar and furfur #zepar and furfur image song #I like Umineko if you couldn’t tell #the music slaps #and I will listen to it until the day I die #hopefully not at the hands of a witch in a cruel game #hope I’d be a diplomat to the alliance like sakutarou cause I’m also a pacifist #unrelated to the music I’m sorry #the ramblings of someone who really likes Umineko #a little treat for anyone who actually reads the tags #ahahaha.wav #love

[jodracona-art]

.

#not to like subtweet #or whatever we wanna call it these days #but if I get one more ‘oh lol I thought this was a weird ghost for a sec’ comment on my tiktaalik art #i might just quite art forever #I’m sorry it’s not fully coloured and shaded #I’m a uni student and very tired #but ghosts generally don’t have flippers #or huge mouths across the top of their head #anyway might delete this later #since this will likely not stop anyone just passing by my work via tags or reblogs #from going ‘haha I thought your art that is trying to depict one thing in perticular looked like a weird version of a very different #completely unrelated thing lol isn’t that so funny’ #but for anyone who does read this #I personally don’t think it’s funny #in fact I find it very discouraging #so please don’t leave comments like that on my posts

[hungerofhadarr]

Sometimes I cannot tell if you guys want villains who do not want to be redeemed or not bc we get gortash and everyone trips over themselves to make this version of him that is absolved from his actions and he’ s changed … Anyways another day another time Wyll gets put to the back burner with crumbs of content yet everyone huddles around like “ OMG THANK YOU LARIAN … oh yeah sorry about Wyll : ((( “

You guys get you are a part of the problem right . You are letting Larian know they can get away with being racist as long as they feed fandom and whatever . Instead of actual quality of life updates and patching in content that would Actually help the game run better and feel finished , they just bloat the game and let companions go untouched with minimal content while playing into whatever the loudest voices in fandom demand the most .

The studio account should not be interacting with fandom so often . This blur between creators and fans is bad ! This leads to fans blindly defending and protecting a Game Studio that they have no connection to because haha larian mad a funny reply . And this also causes a feeling of ownership that should not be there ! You do not own a piece of bg3 and you should not be dictating it ! This is different from criticism btw . Just so we are Clear . Larian deserves and needs criticism .

It is super telling that they voices they are choosing to listen to are not voices that actually care about the game at its story . If they were , we would not have Zero Story for the Son of the Duke of Baldur’ s Gate and yet we have so much for a character that isn’ t actually tied into any major story beat ! We have no more for the character directly tied to Gortash with a prototype of the Steel Watch in her chest , but we can take a side character a few people wanted to bang and speed to have him included ad a full companion ! Instead of Dark Urge getting more content with Orin , Savrok and anyone else that had a tie to Bhaal , they get their relationship with a guy unrelated to all that be made to be read more and more explicitly romantic when that is just ruining the character !

Wyll should have a proper sex scene . He should have a romanced greeting that changes after the proposal . He should have more personal story content . He should have scenes of him in Baldur’ s Gate . The Emperor reveal as Balduran should not have been the main focus of HIS FINAL STORY QUEST . He should have hug and kiss options in the epilogue . People should comment on the engagement ! He should have all of this !! AND MORE FRANKLY .

But because everyone is so quick to forgive Larian , they’ ll never feel pressured to add any of this . They’ ll never feel like they’ ll loose players if they don’ t . Because you guys don’ t actually care . No , I am not saying thank you to larian for not giving me anything I have been asking for and sending feedback on for months . I am not thanking larian for choosing to bend over backwards to random big name fandom people who are racist and just want to fuck the pale guys again and again .

Larian Studio is not your fucking friend, stop acting like they are .

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 critical #larian studios #larian critical #wyll ravengard #astarion #astarion acunin #enver gortash #bg3 gortash #patch 6 #read it and weep idgaf

[itspyon]

compilation post of commentary youtubers talking about dream, no drummyaches edition !

note, i might not exactly like 100% of the things said in these videos BUT they ultimately redeemed dream to a very large audience

starting with i think is the most viewed video right now, Will Dream's Response Actually Fix Anything? by Lessons in Meme Culture. it's 2:40 minutes long and the point is simply to open conversation about him being able to successfully redeem himself, but it has a lovely comment section if you want to scroll through that

Dream Just Responded To Everything by AugustTheDuck, had already spoken about Dream pretty positively, lovely guy, lovely summary [ touches earpiece the main studio is telling me august actually was a dream hater but turned around recently, so noting that down ]

Dream's Response was Perfect, But... by EntLaiser, who previously made a video actually speaking negatively of Dream, completely changed his opinion and talked about how meme culture is being used to justify mass harassment, along with being nice to Dream stans and defending them

Pyrocynical made a video. its bad. don't watch it. he gets cooked in the comments though so that's okay. Acheeto also made a video but i don't like the guy so i'm not linking that either, but it was a good video

Dream Finally Responded To The Allegations by sensitive soci3ty. i really like this video but i especially like the comments that bring up a lot of great points, it was refreshing scrolling through them

LIES! by Omni. Omni is really big on the commentary community so his input is valued, this video is long and goes through a lot of unrelated stuff because it's a news segment, but i linked to the timestamp he talks about Dream. it is long, it is thorough, he READS THE DESCRIPTION which i haven't seen anyone do, pretty good

Dream Might Actually Be Innocent by Saverino. this guy is like, the perfect representation of "i only consumed Dream content through social media for years", the most passive onlooker in the world. and his video is awesome, he took a lot of notes, he resumed Dream's video pretty well, and i feel the way he thinks of Dream is how people will look at dream from now on

Dream Finally Responded by Dolan Dark. it's a slob but it's fucking Dolan Dark and he says he believes he's innocent so who cares W for us

other creators we already know and knew they believed Dream, Hot Sauce Beats did a live reaction and so did Nate Alyn if you'd like to go and support them

Dream's Response Was Actually Good by Saamuel. dream hater admitting he was wrong. all is good in the world

Dream Finally Responded To The Allegations by Optimus. don't watch this video lol. he says a bunch of stupid shit, his comments call him out for it, but i am linking it because this guy is huge on the community, a lot of people were waiting on this video on twitter, and he's very clear on saying the allegations are fake, along with shaming twitter antis for their behaviour

Dream's Response Wasn't Good Enough by luhrix specifically talks about the reaction from antis on twitter to the video and how unreasonable some expectations are when it comes to responding to allegations

Does Dream's Response Make Him Innocent? by Blissolic who VERY BRAVELY calls out coyglone ( the guy behind the dreamwastalen account ) for being a piece of shit

Dream Responded... by Repzion. excellent video no notes, less about dream himself and more a critique of how people consume serious topics as "drama" and farm engagement through it

I Was In Dream's Video by orangepeanut. it's kind of ass but he is in dream's video ! he's the "dream sucked his own dick" guy. he says sorry for baiting and actually apologises to dream which is kind of funny, and he does say dream is innocent. just noting it down for reference

Dream's Response Was GREAT! by TekuToji. another excellent video, nice summary. he did thought the poki xqc dms were real but he corrected himself on the comments lol

Dream Has Returned ( and why you should be excited ) by PurpleMatter. sweet video ! go leave a nice comment :D

this is a different one as it is a full reaction, but it is by Kenji, a VERY famous vtuber, and he was awesome about it and called out his chat several times when they spoke misinformed shit. it's very fun and i'm glad a completely different audience now has a positive view of Dream

#i'll add more as i find them when they upload #dreamwastaken

[furifurii]

since you, the reader has school going for you, you rarely play honkai star rail.

the characters would always wonder where you went, or what you were doing outside of their world. they can still hear your voice, but very, very faintly. they would sometimes hear a name they would not recognize and idk, maybe just go:

"who the hell is diluc and why is he so hot??"

they would also listen in to your conversations whenever they would hear your voice. even if it's you talking to yourself about history, or you talking to your friends about things unrelated to their world. they wouldn't really mind. maybe just a little bit.

but when you go back to the game, the characters would be overjoyed and would try to make you stay there longer.

even going as far as to secretly double the stellar jades you would receive during quests or missions. and missing the excitement of pulling for new characters, you would gladly warp for the new characters on limited banners.

they would ask silver wolf to hack into the system to boost your chances of getting a character or the light cone you were pulling for. they would push each other aside just so they can appear on your screen for you to gush over how you got another copy of a character or celebrating when you got all of the eidolons of one character that you really liked.

just seeing you being happy just makes them want to spoil you even more, just so you will stay playing with them, forever.

but when you suddenly stopped playing the game while they were trying their hardest to give you what you wanted, you realised, oh, there's school tomorrow. so you decided to turn off the game for the time being and go to sleep.

but they couldn't let you go just like that! that would be ridiculous.

for a few days just before you played the game again, the cast begged for anyone who could take them to your world. just sitting idly on your device's screen and listen to your voice wasn't cutting it anymore.

they want to see— they needed to see you, to actually have an actual conversation with you and not just talk to you through this game's script. it wasn't enough for them to be living behind the screen for you to just watch, they wanted to show you that they are actual tangible beings that call you their "creator" .

the main character had begged herta to do something about this, and she complied without any argument, to their confusion. usually she would be saying stuff like how she would just 'give up in the middle of it' ,, but she.. didn't? nonetheless, they were grateful to have herta agree with creating a portal to your world.

as soon as the characters caught wind of this, they were ecstatic. they had left their duties just to hop on the astral express and to herta's space station, to finally see you, to meet you.

in herta's office, it was packed with all the playable characters, waiting. some patiently waiting, some, not so much.

to see opposing groups of people being in the same room and not being at each other's throats were such a random thing to see, but they didn't care about that, no no, they only cared about you.

you, their "creator".. how could they miss this opportunity to be meeting their own creator, the one who gave them life, something to live for.

as herta was finishing up some parts of the portal, you were sound asleep in your bed, snoring away in your weird sleeping position.

well, until you felt your blanket started to move with sudden gusts of wind. you heard a really loud thump, it didn't come from any rooms of your house, it didn't sound muffled when it happened. so it's,, in your room. but oh, would you look at that, your room is so dark you couldn't locate your phone which was usually near you to use it as a flashlight.

but what's that? you heard a voice , a very, very familiar voice.

———

yeah naur... i can't do this,, this sounds terrible i'm so sorry you had to read this sobsosb i am so soso sorryr

#honkai star rail #self aware honkai star rail #sahsrau #honkai star rail x you #help how do i tag this?? #first post omgggg :wacky face emoji: #i wrote this when i was literally going cross-eyed trying to stay up #stan the jacket in the corner of my room as my motivation to stay up <33

[ihavethedreamies]

Watermelon | Juicy Fruit | Mark

Mark Lee - NCT Dream

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~1.6k

Pairing: Mark x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Established Relationship, Porn without Plot

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Quickie, Sex in the Bathroom, Unprotected Sex (Don’t!!)

Summary: You end up making a bit of a mess with the watermelon…

Author's Note: This series was supposed to be of drabbles, and this is the second shortest one…sorry.

This is only vaguely based off of Smoothie…I say this because I got the idea for a fruit theme, but past that its unrelated.

🍇 Renjun 🍇

🍌 Jeno 🍌

🍒 Haechan 🍒

🍑 Jaemin 🍑

🍓 Chenle 🍓

🍍 Jisung 🍍

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

It was hot. For you, too hot. And it was just your luck that the boys wanted to dick around outside because the weather was nice. Nice? No, it was hot as balls. While they ran around screaming, playing games and throwing stuff, you sat on a canvas camping chair. Your electric fan's batteries had died so you were futilely fanning yourself with a paper plate. Your thighs were sticking together, and your shorts were no help against the chafing. You shuffled again, grunting in discomfort, adjusting your sunglasses since they had slid down your nose from the sweat. Even in the shade of the tree and a slight breeze, it was still much too hot. Mark had offered to run to the convenience store down the road from your rental house and get something to cool you off. Glancing at your phone for the time, you wondered what the hell was taking so long, you were about to melt away.

"Noona~" Chenle called but you couldn't see him. Finally, he and Mark appeared from around the house as they went to the backyard where the rest of your group was. The second youngest had several bags of snacks, but what really caught your attention was what your boyfriend had in his arms. It was to no one's surprise he had somehow acquired a watermelon.

"Finally!" You exhaled harshly and Chenle dashed over to you, digging a cold bottle of water out and you yoinked it from him eagerly, chugging it down and he laughed.

"Slow done, babe." Mark huffed, letting the watermelon wrapped in a mesh settle on the grass near your feet. He watched as a bit of water slipped past your mouth and down your throat, landing on your white tank top, making the fabric darken. Swallowing, he shook his head to focus his attention elsewhere and kneeled near the melon so he could start cutting it.

"Uh, no." You shook your head, taking the knife from Mark that Renjun had brought out.

"I can do it!" He whined and you gave him a deadpan look and he just grumbled. Mark scooted over and you sat next to him, wrapping your legs around the big fruit to hold it in place. That looked even more dangerous than what he was planning, but you didn't keep it like that for long. Once you had dramatically stabbed the knife into the end of the rind, you adjusted and easily and evenly sliced it in half. Everyone watched in amazement as you deftly cut up the melon, laying each quarter of a slice into the big bowl Renjun had also brought out.

"Wow, she actually cut it evenly." Jaemin pointed out, giving Mark a very pointed look. The eldest looked back at him, slightly confused then offended.

"Hey!" He grumbled again and you grabbed a few slices with Mark and put them on a plate. While the rest of them continued to do whatever nonsense they were doing before, you and your boyfriend sat on the grass under the tree to eat the watermelon. Not thinking anything of it, because who would, you started to eat. It was very juicy, and the man's attention kept going back to your collarbone. After a big bite of the fruit, the juice spilled over your bottom lip and ran down your chin, your throat, pooled on your collar bone, then continued down to run into your cleavage. When you took another bite and even more juice spilled out you cringed, sucking in to try and keep it in your mouth.

"Geez." You mumbled, looking for a paper towel or napkin, something, to dry the juice. The pink liquid was already soaking into the white of your tank and luckily your bra was nude. Not only was your face and chest a mess, but your hands had gotten sticky. Mark watched your tongue lick furiously along your bottom lip, trying to get some of the juice off your chin.

"Let's get you cleaned up." You were shocked at the speed of your boyfriend, who had stood, hauling you up with him, and into the rental house. You both barely slipped your sandals off up entering and you were a bit surprised he dragged you toward the bathroom and not the nearby kitchen to get to a sink.

"Where are we going?" you questioned, blinking in shock as he pulled you into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door. As you stood near the vanity, hands in the air to avoid getting things stuck to them, you watched in surprise as he pinned you against the sink, his face getting very close. Even though he was your boyfriend, the proximity and intense look on his face made your own warm up red. His tongue flicked out, lapping at the drying juice on your face that was just as sticky as the stuff on your hands. He groaned as you shivered, his lips sealing over your own. Immediately you forgot about your sticky hands, going to the back of his shirt to hold on as he lifted you to rest on the bathroom vanity. You did at least have the subconscious thought to not touch his hair. His own sticky hands had met your waist, sneaking under your flimsy white tank, running his thumb over your smooth skin, it stuttered a bit from the juice. When his tongue entered your mouth, you both tasted the sweet watermelon on each other. A trail of saliva connected your lips when he finally pulled away, both of you panting.

"Fuck." He loved the dazed look that had spread across your face, and his smirked when his lips met your neck and you whined. His tongue ran along the path he had watched the juice flow over the skin, cleaning you off and at the same time heating your skin and core. Your hips jumped up from the counter, your denim covered mound grinding against his cock tenting his swim trunks. Mark continued to suck and nibble at you as he moved to follow that path of the watermelon juice, before your shirt covered the final destination. He pulled back just enough to get it off of you, the white material sticking briefly to his fingers. Yours stuck even more to his shirt as you hauled it off of him. Mark's mouth and tongue traced and nuzzled your breasts as he got your bra unhooked and off. Using his tongue to follow the trail of juice, he diverted at your sternum, sealing his lips over your nipple. You sighed, resting back on the counter so your bare back touched the cold mirror. As your boyfriend focused on the other side, he helped you wiggle your shorts off. You didn't have any panties on since your shorts were so tight, and it was so hot out anyway.

"Fuck… (Y/N)~" You would never get used to way he would moan your name.

"Mark, hurry." You furrowed your brow in playful frustration, trying to reach the waist band of his swim trunks to get them off. He huffed in amusement, having a better reach to do it himself.

"Hurry, hurry~" You nearly bounced in anticipation and his chuckle turned to a groan as he started to sink his cock inside of you. Your body shivered, your hand went to your mouth to try and muffle the pitiful moan you let out as he bottomed out. Like usual, you were soaked for him, making the entry easy.

"Try and stay quiet, baby." He rested his forehead on your shoulder, hands on your hips. You hiccupped when he gave a short but hard thrust, keeping up that pace, rapidly bringing you close to your orgasm already. His pelvis would grind against your clit every time he filled you fully, and your breath hitched each time. He gave a breathless chuckle at how cute you were, not noticing that his thrusts were strong enough to shake the vanity. The ceramic cup holding some toothbrushes rattled each time, growing closer and closer to the edge.

"Damn-" Mark groaned as quietly as he could, pulling your hips to the very edge of the vanity, your back slid down the mirror before landing on the marble. You wrapped your legs around his waist, hand pressed hard over your mouth, the other gripping the bar on the wall that held up the hand towel. Your boyfriend ran his tongue over his smirking bottom lip, enjoying watching you try desperately to stay quiet as he fucked you. He only slightly paused when the cup finally fell over, landing on the tile floor and shattering. It was out of the way, so his hips stuttered a bit, but he continued with a huff when you whined in desperation at the halt.

"Shit, babe-" He groaned, and you moaned as well, feeling your own climax getting closer. You both fell over when he did a final grind against your clit, as deep as he could go, spilling inside of you. The heat of his cum brought you over as well, and you pulled your hand from your mouth, panting quietly.

"S-sorry." Mark suddenly felt guilty for hauling you into the bathroom to fuck while all of your friends were possibly in ear shot.

"Th…that's okay." You gave him a tired smile and he kissed you softly with a giggle. After cleaning up a bit and straightening clothes and hair back up, you slipped back outside, and it seemed like no one had even noticed you two had been gone. Later, when you were inside to eat supper, you heard a loud shout from the bathroom.

"Who broke the toothbrush mug?!"

🍇 Renjun 🍇

🍌 Jeno 🍌

🍒 Haechan 🍒

🍑 Jaemin 🍑

🍓 Chenle 🍓

🍍 Jisung 🍍

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

#ihavethedreamies #kpop #kpop x reader #kpop fanfic #kpop fluff #kpop smut #x reader #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic #nct #nct dream #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct mark #nct dream mark #mark x reader #mark lee x reader #mark smut #mark lee smut #mark fluff #mark lee fluff #mark lee

[55sturn]

✮ I WAS BLIND TO SEE

pairing: chris sturniolo × female!reader

synopsis: in which y/n spent years begging chris to let her into his heart, but he was unrelenting, so eventually she gave up. but after years of her pining helplessly, chris realizes that he grew to love her back and races against the clock to get her back.

warnings: swearing, lowkey toxic!chris, angst for like majority of the fic, oblivious!reader, oblivious!chris, mentions of alcohol, justin’s lowkey a dick, chris is a literal fucking dumbass, i love the whole “idiots in love” trope.

THIRD PERSON POV

it was no shocker to find out how deep y/n's love for chris ran, after all she had been in love with him since they were sophmores in high school. she loved every single thing there was to love about him, and the less lovable things, she understood where they stemmed from.

she had a very deep connection with him, they had been the closet out of him, his brothers, and her. he could turn to her for anything, and vice versa. however, there was one issue.

chris didn't reciprocate the love she felt. he expressed numerous times to anyone who asked, that she was his best friend, nothing more. he saw her as the female extension of him and his brothers.

the only person he couldn't tell that to though, was her. so instead of letting her down easy, he ignored it. and that caused more problems than he saw coming. because of his naturally flirty nature, it filled the girl with false hope, it led her to believe that maybe her feelings were returned.

no one was able prepare for the inevitable fallout that occurred when chris' feelings, or lack thereof, came to light.

FLASHBACK

chris was sitting at his desk when nick knocked on his door, he welcomed him into his room with a barely discernible "come in."

"chris we gotta talk." nick muttered, standing in the doorway with his arms folded and a frustrated look on his face.

"what's up?" chris sighed, rolling his eyes as he turned in his gaming chair to face the older triplet.

"you need to tell y/n about the way you feel, well the way you don't feel."

"why? it's not like i'm hurting her." chris scoffed, not really wanting to break his best friend's heart.

"chris, she literally just spent an hour talking to me on facetime about how she wants to confess her feelings to you directly because instead of being honest, you're playing into her feelings! i can't keep giving her advice and getting her hopes up knowing that you are just going to crush her."

"whatever nick, i'll talk to her later."

and so, when y/n came by later that day, she gathered the nerve to tell chris with a shaky breath and unsteady hands.

"chris can we talk?"

"yeah what's up?" chris hummed, knowing very well where this was going, and despite the fact that he was just about to break her heart, he felt some sort of twisted pride stir in his chest. he liked knowing that someone so close to him was pining for him, it made him feel powerful, and he hated that it made him feel that way. it truly disgusted him.

"i know this probably isn't a secret by any means but i've got feelings for you. like 'i'm in love with you' feelings and i don't know if i've been reading into things too much or if i've read into them correctly but it seems like you return them, or at least act like you do and if that's the case, i'm glad i told you. and if i've read them completely wrong, i'm about to feel like the biggest fool possible." y/n rambled, breathing out a nervous laugh as chris' eyes bore into hers.

"listen y/n, you're a great girl. any guy would be lucky to be loved by you the way you love me but i'm sorry, i don't see you that way. i know i've fed into your feelings and your flirting, and it makes me feel like such a jackass but i didn't know how to tell you and i really didn't want to break your heart. you're my best friend and i would give anything to return your feelings but i don't and it wouldn't be fair for me to pretend i do." chris whispered, his heart tearing in two as he watched the hurt and horror flash in her eyes as she realized that she had read everything wrong. his arms slowly slid around her shoulders, pulling in her into him, or at least in attempt to.

"no. you don't get to hug me after you just admitted that you played with my feelings. you literally just contradicted yourself, the fuck do you mean 'it wouldn't be fair to pretend to return your feelings." that's exactly what you did! god this was a mistake." she spat, turning on her heels and making her way up the stairs leading from chris' room. she grabbed her jacket off the back of one of the dining room chairs and left without so much as a word.

and that was the last that chris had heard from her until they ended up back in boston at the same time.

FLASHBACK OVER

y/n sighed as she made her up the sturniolos' driveway. her family had agreed to a huge family dinner with the triplets' family and she was dreading having to see chris. she was on perfectly fine terms with nick and matt, they had actually grown closer. y/n just refused to be an active presence and figure in chris' life. whenever she wanted to hang out, it’d be away from their house. away from chris.

knocking on the door, a small smile pulled at her lips. she missed mary-lou and jimmy, she hadn't had much time to see them since going back home, she had just been busy with other things, and the fact that she was slightly avoiding them because she had a feeling chris or one of his brothers told them about what had happened.

"y/n! my sweet girl i've missed you." mary-lou cooed as she opened the door, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"i've missed you too, i'm sorry i haven't come by yet, i've been busy." the girl pouted slightly, feelings guilty for staying away for as long as she had.

"busy ignoring a certain boy of mine?" the older woman teased gently, being fully aware of what had gone down and her heart hurt for the young girl. she knew what chris felt, she could see in his eyes when he spoke about his former best friend, a mother always knows. she also knows that chris just hasn't been made aware of the fact that he feels the same as y/n once did.

as mary-lou led y/n up the stairs and into the dining room where the sturniolos' and y/n's parents sat, y/n felt her chest grow tight as all eyes, including chris' fell on her.

"hey everyone, sorry i'm late." she laughed, returning the hug that jimmy pulled her into as he stood up.

"don't worry about it, we're just glad you showed up." jim smiled down at her as she took her place between justin and her mother, unfortunately across from chris.

chris' forced his gaze to his lap as he fiddled with his fingers, ever since the night he turned her down, a strange feeling had been stirring and beating relentlessly in the pit of his stomach, he almost felt like he had made a mistake rejecting her.

as the dinner went on, chris was determined to meet her gaze but she was just as determined to not look at him, in fear that she would crumple into a sobbing wreck. she tried to move on but it was hard when he had already held her heart for so long. she feared that she would never love someone the way she loved and still deep down, loves him.

after the dinner had finished, the adults gathered in the living room, talking about shit their kids didn't care about or had heard a million times already, so the rest of them moved to the deck, all claiming a chair as their own while justin grabbed a beer for all of them.

"so mousey, whatcha been up to, like really? seeing anybody?" justin hums, watching the twenty year old girl that he considered his baby sister shift awkwardly in her chair.

"quit calling me that." y/n groans, rolling her eyes at the nickname that justin had given her back when she was in elementary school, she was so quiet compared to his brothers that he referred to her as a mouse which led to him branding her "mousey."

"and before you ask again, i've seen a couple guys here and there but nothing really stuck.” she sighs, taking a sip of her beer as justin lods, kissing his teeth with a teasing smirk on his face.

“what about you chris?”

“justin don’t.” chris warns, glaring at his older brother as he sees through justin’s plan. justin is fully convinced that chris is in love with y/n, someone just has to spell it out for him. matt and nick both look at each other with wide eyes as they clue into what justin is trying to do.

y/n scoffs, sliding her beer across the table with a roll of her eyes before she stands up,

“you’re a dick.”

“y/n wait.” chris calls out, jogging after as she makes her away around the house to her car, shaking her head as she walks away.

“what do you want chris?” she sighs, turning to face him and look at him, really look at him for the first time that night.

“i’m sorry about justin, he’s convinced that i’m running from my feelings or some shit and he’s trying to make me see that.”

“that’s nice chris. you know, i came here tonight thinking that it’’d be easy to see you after how many months but no, it’s been just as hard as the night you broke my heart. it’s hard because i miss you, so fucking much but i can’t get over you. and i can’t get over you hurting me, whether you meant to or not.”

“i miss you too, y/n. come back please.” chris whispers, a glimmer of hope in his eyes as he stares at the girl he called his best friend.

“no. i don’t think you do. you miss the me that would follow you around like a lost puppy and feed your ego with all the attention i gave you. you miss the love i gave you because you didn’t have to search anywhere else for it. i was some sort of fall back for you. and if i stuck around after you broke my heart to hear you say that you loved me, knowing it wasn’t the same way that i love you, it would’ve killed me chris.”

“i’m sorry, i really am. i just miss my best friend.”

“i stopped being your best friend long before i confessed my feelings to you.” she whispers, the raw emotion she felt as she recounted how things changed evident in her voice, lea chris confused by what she meant.

“what?”

“you stopped seeing me as your best friend quite a while ago. you started seeing me as this your could always count on to boost your ego, to fill your head with this idea that you were a god, that you were the center of my universe. you stopped treating me like your best friend and started treating me like i was a fucking groupie, chris. you stopped remembering important things i told you about myself, you got me a copy of a book that i couldn’t stand, that you knew i couldn’t stand because when i first told you about, you laughed at how insane i sounded. and you said it was for my birthday, but my birthday was three weeks before that. you started only paying attention to things i said that made you feel good, and i thought that if i’d dismiss it and pretend that it wasn’t happening, that it’d go away. i figured you were just sorting out your feelings. but no, you were playing me.”

“that’s not tr-“

“yes it is. i excused it by convincing myself you were busy. that you were stressed. but in reality, you stopped giving a fuck about me and only gave a fuck about the attention i paid you, and now that it’s gone, you feel lost and helpless. so no, you don’t miss me.” she replies, her voice slowly becoming void of all emotion, as if she had accepted what had happened and moved to face her car, before turning back to him.

“for what it’s worth, i miss my best friend too, but when i look at you now, i don’t see him. i see a person who looks like him, but is completely different. and justin is right, you’re running from your feelings but i don’t think they’re feelings for me. i love you, always have, always will. i wish i could say that you love me too, but i don’t think you do.”

chris watches her car back out of the driveway and speed down the street with his heart in his hands, forced to grapple with just how badly he hurt her.

months had passed and chris was still completely shut out of y/n’s life, and it left a bitter and extremely hard pill for chris to swallow. he knew he fucked up and he knew asking her for forgiveness was an insane ask but he missed her.

and not the attention she gave him. he missed her. her warmth, the fuzzy feeling in his chest that she gave him when he’d crack a joke and look around to see if she found it funny. he missed the way he could non-verbally communicate with her the way he can with his brothers. all he’d have to do is send her a look and she’d know what he was thinking. he missed her hugs and the way she could comfort him in a split second. he missed the person that knew him better than he knew himself, and he missed the girl that he knew better than anyone.

everyone around chris knew what was happening, they saw it in the way he’d sulk whenever nick mentioned some guy she was trying to date. or the way his eyes would soften at the mention of her and matt hanging out before his face would fall when matt says they’re going out to some random place to hang out. in the way chris’ eyes would brighten when he saw something that reminded him of her or her favourite movie showed up on the netflix previews.

everyone around chris knew that he wasn’t just homesick for his favourite person, he was lovesick too. they could see the gears turning in his head and heart, that he was slowly starting to openly show his love for her, the same love she felt for him. chris was guarded and haunted by girls that have hurt him, they knew he closed off his heart to anything but familial and platonic love, so when genuine, deep romantic feelings started blooming in his chest like the flowers in spring, he didn’t know what they were. he always thought it was platonic love for his best friend, but everyone could see it was more.

everyone but chris. until the day he saw his feelings for what they really were.

FLASHBACK

chris walked upstairs, halting halfway up to text his friend back as he half listened to nick and matt’s shared conversation, not really care until he hears a sentence that left a sour taste in his mouth.

“y/n wants to ask brendon to be her boyfriend. she thinks it could go well.”

“is she over chris?”

“not really but she wants to try and move on.”

chris rolled his eyes and stomped up the rest of the stairs, not understanding why there was such an angry feeling building in his chest like a fire rapidly consuming everything in its wake.

throughout the day, chris let his anger consume his every action, his every response, every single reaction he has to anything. it was pissing his brothers off because they had no clue why he was angry. until nick pieced it together.

“you heard our conversation about y/n didn’t you? that’s when you started acting a like a dick to everyone and everything.”

“whatever nick it doesn’t matter.”

“you’re fucking jealous, aren’t you?”

“who gives a fuck if i am?”

“why are you jealous if you don’t see her that way?” nick pressed, a smug grin on his face as he pushed the youngest triplet, itching to get the long awaited confession out of chris.

“i’m not jealous.”

“right because if you were, that would mean you actually feel the same way y/n does. which would also mean that literally everyone else in the world was right about you from the fucking get-go.” matt snickered, finding joy in teasing chris for being a complete and utter dumbass for so long.

“oh my god, you’re right. is that what you wanna hear? that i’ve been a complete jackass to her for no reason? that i do feel the same and that everyone is right? that i have no reason to feel the way i do at the thought of her being with another guy? cause if so, there you fucking go.” chris snapped, yelling and cursing out his brothers with misplaced anger.

matt just laughed as he quickly merged into the turning lane, taking chris to y/n’s apartment.

“you know what you need to do.”

FLASHBACK OVER

chris sighs as he raises his fist to the door, his entire body vibrating. his nerves were on fire, he had absolutely no clue how to go about what he was about to do. he didn’t even know if it was a good idea.

as he drops his fist back to his side, the door opens, travelling y/n standing on the other side, her hair tucked beneath her hoodie, the one that chris had gotten her gotten the prior year for christmas because the colour looked pretty on her. chris felt his breath get stuck in his throat and his heart rate quicken as he met her eyes.

“chris what the fuck are you doing here?”

“i know you think i don’t love you.” chris starts, pushing his way into her apartment as she watches him, confused etched along her features as her brows knit together.

“okay, and?”

“and i know you think i stopped paying attention to you. but you’re wrong. you are all i think about, every second of every fucking day, you are running through my mind on a loop. i only ever think about the way you love cheesy chick flicks but will never say it out loud because you don’t want to be made fun of or the way you hate when people dog-ear the pages in their books because it ruins the quality. i only ever think about how much you miss boston in the summer because it’s the perfect temperature, but you hate it in the winter because you hate snow. or how you stop to pet every animal you see just so they know what it’s like to feel a loving touch. or how you refuse to wear anything in your favourite colour because you’re scared of attaching bad memories to it and hating the colour because it’s been your favourite since you were seven. or how feel bad when you don’t give the squishmallows on your bed equal attention because you believe they can feel things. or the fact that your favourite movie is coraline because you relate her deeply but will never your mom that in fear of breaking her heart. or the fact you never once deserved to be treated the way you were by me because i couldn’t see my feelings for what they were.” chris rambles, taking a deep breath as he looks at her, her mouth open as she prepares to speak but chris cuts her off,

“i know that you won’t be able to believe me right away, but i want to prove to you that i love you. it took me a long time to realize it because i’m a fucking idiot. i always have been but this love has been here since the moment i met you, i just confused it for something platonic when it was and is so much more than that. so please hear me out and don’t ask that guy to be your boyfriend, ask me. i want to be the one to love you for the rest of your life. i know i’ve fucked up, i will spend forever and a day trying to make up for it. i know i’m late but please, just give me one more chance.”

“okay.” she whispers, her eyes watering as she finally gets to hear everything she’s ever wanted chris to say. chris smiles, looping his fingers in the edges of hoodie pocket as he tugs her forward, pressing his lips to her so feverishly that he’s sure his lips will bruise but he’s scared to waste another moment, that when he opens his eyes this will all just be some sick and twisted dream. but when he pulls away and opens his eyes, he’s met with the reality that she’s there, her hands cradling his face as she wipes away the tears he didn’t even know existed before pressing another kiss to his lips.

“i’ve always been right in front of you chris, i’m just glad you finally opened your eyes.”

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[danaewrites]

you with the dark curls (you with the watercolor eyes)

part i: and while you were asleep, i was surely awake

james potter x reader // read it on AO3

word count: 2.8k

summary: “Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.”

tags: best friends to lovers, angst with a happy ending, based on the song "dear arkansas daughter" by lady lamb, fem!reader

author's notes: hii y'all, sorry for not posting in a year :P my only excuse is that i didn't feel like taking the energy to actually write out my story ideas. also perfectionism. anyway i somehow wrote this in two hours while procrastinating my college app essays and have plans to make this a multi-chapter fic despite intending to write an angsty oneshot request for a completely different fandom (i see you, beloved anons, and i raise you this completely unrelated fic <3)… the brain of a writer works in mysterious ways.

read it all here: part i, part ii, part iii (coming soon!)

You were in love with James Potter.

It was a fact of life, just like how the sky was blue, or that his favorite dessert was treacle tart, or that you were the only person he’d ever let see him cry besides his mother. You’d loved him from the moment you met him on the train to Hogwarts as a shy, anxious muggleborn unsure of the new world of magic and prejudice you’d been thrown into without so much as a warning. He hadn’t cared at all about your blood status- didn’t even think to ask about it. He had launched himself into your compartment and began talking at you a mile a minute, beaming with every tooth showing once he found out you were hoping to get into Gryffindor, his hazel eyes alight with the joy of making a new friend. And friends indeed you had become; you were proud to remember that you’d known him before Sirius or Remus or Peter did, though it took only an instant after the Sorting for him to become best mates with the rest of them, too.

You and James were inseparable from that moment on, giggling at Professor Binns’ failure to notice Sirius’ antics in the back of class and reassuring each other when home seemed too far away for comfort. He stole sweets from the Slytherin table for you at meals, and you covered for him when the teachers almost caught him pranking Snape– after all, who would believe that sweet, innocent Y/n would ever be involved in such shenanigans? The soft-spoken demeanor and love of everything pastel you’d thought would eventually oust you from the close-knit Gryffindor boys’ group proved to be quite the useful asset when affirming their ‘innocence’.

Not that they only wanted you around because you were helpful, of course. You had quite the talent for exaggerating stories until even Sirius fell off his seat laughing in disbelief, and your creative mind made for some glorious pranks and entertaining mistakes. Peter would blush for an hour straight if anyone mentioned The Great Plum Pudding Incident of Christmas 1974, all thanks to your clever meddling. And Remus– well, he was eternally grateful for your mother-henning during the worst of his moon cycles. You’d been the first to figure out his “furry little problem”, and upon learning that enjoying chocolate was his favorite method of escapism, showed up every month without fail with an armful of Honeydukes sweets. The little ways in which you loved each Marauder meant the world to them. They would do anything to protect you and make sure you were okay, James most of all. You often teased James that he was more bodyguard than friend, with his deep glares at too-forward Hufflepuff boys masking the big softie you knew he was underneath. You remembered fondly the summer days he spent chasing you around your house, scaring your mother half to death with his colander-and-pot ‘armor’ as he declared that as a chivalrous knight, he was meant to save Princess Y/n from the terrible Acromantula King. Privately, you thought James had a few too many Arthurian legends for bedtime stories as a child, but what could you do?

Even now, as sixth years, the bond between you and James never changed, your love for him ever-growing. Your heart melted every time you glanced over your shoulder in the hallway, only to find him chatting softly with a sniffling first-year and guiding them to Professor Sprout’s office for a hot cuppa and a biscuit. You cheered at his Quidditch victories and were euphorically lifted up onto his broad shoulders afterward, whooping as he galavanted through the common room in celebration. You were there when he needed a shoulder to cry on when his grandfather died, softly stroking his hair as he fell asleep in your lap with tear tracks still running down his face. And he adored you in return– braiding your hair while you worked on Herbology essays, racing you on his beloved broom when you stayed with him during the summer, distracting you from your rants about Slughorn’s unfair grading with a trip to the kitchens and a blissfully soft blanket.

James was your lifeline and you his– and nothing in the world could change that.

Except, perhaps, one tiny little complication. A complication with vibrant red hair, sparkling green eyes, and a natural affinity for Potions. A complication that had sparked your jealousy since the first time you noticed James glancing dreamily at Lily Evans in second year Transfiguration, jealousy that had only gotten worse with his grand declarations of love every week. He’d begun to announce his affection for the muggleborn to anyone who would listen in third year, and it didn’t stop there. No, when James Potter loved someone, he loved hard, and that meant that you had to watch as beautiful bouquets appeared on Lily’s nightstand nightly while the rest of the girls in your dorm whispered and swooned. You were a wallflower when he sighed about how lovely her skin was and how bloody talented she was at everything she did during one of your late-night chats in the common room, curling in on yourself with every word he spoke. When he asked her to Hogsmeade the first time (and the second, and the third, and the fiftieth), you observed as she rolled her eyes and shoved past him, despite the small smile on her face.

It wasn’t that Lily wasn’t smart or pretty or talented– far from it. She deserved every good Potions grade she got, and even the pureblood Slytherins begrudgingly noted how she was the darling of Hogwarts society. But you thought that the way she treated your best friend, refusing his advances quite harshly but sending him flirtatious glances and making a show of wearing his flowers in her hair, was rather unkind and misleading. She had James wrapped around her little finger and didn’t seem to want to let go of his attention anytime soon, despite Snape’s protests about how much time he was spending with her. You disliked Severus, but didn’t think he deserved Lily’s bad treatment either. Sometimes you’d see him staring at James and Lily deep in conversation, and shoot him a glance of communal disappointment– before realizing who you were sharing the moment with and resuming an expression of disgust, at least.

At first, you ignored your growing angst about his new obsession, chalking it up to sleep deprivation, stress over your upcoming exams, and even your monthly. But when you started to run out of excuses for the despair slowly overtaking your heart and flashes of his dark curls began to appear in your sweetest dreams, you were forced to admit that your feelings for James ran much deeper than a platonic friendship. From the way he spun you around in the snow to the way he snorted at Remus’ awful puns, you were head-over-heels smitten with your best friend.

The way he’d filled out since the end of fourth year hadn’t escaped your notice, either; you were pretty sure that his pecs should be considered a traffic hazard, with the way you’d fallen flat on your face after seeing him shirtless after a match. He’d rushed over to clean up every one of your injuries, of course, with a touch so gentle it released a whole menagerie of butterflies in your stomach. You’d barely managed to mumble a coherent thank-you before sprinting to take a very cold shower and scream into your pillow with embarrassment. How on earth did Lily Evans even think around him?!

Alas, you’d read your fair share of romance novels, and you knew how this story would end. Falling in love with your best friend was never a good idea, but you’d managed to do the idiot thing anyway, carrying a torch for a boy who would never look past Lily’s emerald eyes to see the watercolor ones that had always been by his side.

That was the state Sirius found you in, broody and lost in thought in a quiet corner of the library. He grinned rakishly, planting a well-polished boot on a nearby chair and leaning over to tap your forehead. “Lots going on in there today, huh?”

You snapped out of your daze and smiled sheepishly up at him. “Sorry, Siri, didn’t mean to ignore you. Just, er, thinking about my Potions essay, do you know how many uses there are for mandelwort? Quite fascinating plants, hones–”

Sirius winced and slid back far across the table. “Oh, no, you are not discussing horrid Potions work with me today when there are so many other wonderful topics.” He gestured to a table of swooning fifth-years gazing dreamily at his backside. “For example, those lovely ladies,” he crooned, sending an exaggerated wink towards them and smirking when they sighed.

You wrinkled your nose and scoffed. “Oh, please, as if I haven’t heard enough about your conquests already. I’m already scarred for life from your stories about that Belgium Veela, let alone the muggle sailor you nearly broke the Statute of Secrecy for.”

He waved a hand, dismissing your allegations of the mental injury caused by his excruciating attention to sordid detail when slightly tipsy in the common room. You made a mental note to charm his shampoo to turn his hair bright lavender for the next week for that little snub. Although, being Sirius, he’d probably just use it as an excuse to sway the rest of the Hogwarts population into going to Hogsmeade with him. “Ah, but darling Y/n, that’s what I’m here for!” He furrowed his brow and stroked his chin in mock consideration. “However, I can’t seem to recall a time when you–” here he poked you in the cheek for emphasis– “confessed to a little tete-a-tete in the hallway. Ever. Which means we have a problem,” he grinned.

You felt rather like prey being hunted for sport. “That would be because I’m not interested in anyone, you dolt!” Crossing your arms, you turned your face back towards your homework. Maybe if you denied romantic interest for long enough, Sirius would leave you alone and go flounce off to flirt with the noisy table of fourth years. “Anyway, I heard Marlene’s been circling Dorcas like a lovesick pigeon lately, so perhaps you should be putting your matchmaking efforts to her benefit instead.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “C’mon doll, I know you weren’t actually thinking about Potions when I arrived. Who’s the lead actor in those fantasies, mm?” He snatched up your favorite pink gel pen, twirling around his fingers as he looked at you expectantly.

Drat. He wouldn’t be so easily distracted with the latest gossip. You opened your mouth to protest yet again when you caught a flash of red over Sirius’ artfully tousled locks. You watched as James strode up to the alcove where Lily and her friends were studying, transfigured a sheet of parchment into a butterfly clip and held it out to her with a grin. Her laughter pealed out through the library as she let him lean over her shoulder to place it in her hair. He seemed oblivious to the titters of the girls around him while he gazed at Lily adoringly. You felt your heart clench as you recognized the expression on his face; you’d seen it on your own in the mirror after spending time with James, after all. And it seemed like maybe Lily was finally starting to be swayed into accepting his starry-eyed proposals, if the pretty blush on her cheeks was anything to go by.

Sirius tracked your despairing gaze to the couple and immediately paled in realization. “Oh, shit.”

Shit, indeed. Your face turned bright red as you scrambled to pack your bag and leave the area as fast as you possibly could, not sure how you could face Sirius knowing your deepest secret now. The boy had no self-control, fueling the Hogwarts gossip mill with the wild stories he overheard, and he had even less discretion when confessing things to his friends around the common room fire. It’s no wonder he wound up in Gryffindor, you thought miserably. There’s no way he’d be able to keep a secret like the rest of the Slytherins, and definitely not from James. It would only be a matter of time before he let it slip about your feelings to the rest of the Marauders, and— well, you’d just have to face losing your best friend for good once he heard.

Sirius broke your train of thought by wrapping his hands around yours, looking up at you with concern. “Hey, doll, wait— I didn’t know—“

You sniffed and wiped the tears threatening to fall from your eyes away fiercely. “That’s exactly it, Sirius, you didn’t know because you won’t be able to keep it from James.”

He looked guiltily down at the table. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a bit of a git with keeping things private lately, yeah?”

You nodded, covering your face with your hands. Sirius reached out, placing them back down on the table, and softly said, “Listen, I shouldn’t have pried so hard. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” He broke off, pausing to scramble for a handkerchief from his bag to wipe off your rapidly disintegrating mascara. “And I promise not to breathe a word of this to James,” he finished.

You looked up at him, startled. “Are you serious?” At his answering grin, you groaned. “Don’t answer that. But really, are you sure that you’ll be able to resist telling him everything?” You fiddled with the now-soiled handkerchief and whispered, “You two are so close, I don’t want to drive you apart. If James thought you were hiding something important from him, it would destroy him,” you sniffed.

He frowned. “Doll, you know you’re just as important as James is to me, right?” At your answering slump, his jaw clenched and he continued on with more intensity. “You’re like my sister, Y/n, there’s nothing you could do to make me care for you less. Especially not asking for your privacy. Clearly, I haven’t been treating you as well as you deserve if you doubt that.”

He walked around and took a seat in the armchair next to you, pulling you in to lean on his shoulder. “And I can be discreet, you know. I might not show it often, but growing up in a family of the most intensely secretive purebloods ever to exist taught me a few things.” You glanced at him doubtfully, the tiny quirk of your mouth the only sign that you were joking. “Hey, I’m being serious!” He laughed, then quieted suddenly. “This thing with James— you really love him, don’t you?”

You gave him an exasperated look out of the corner of your eye. Sirius released a breath and gazed deeply into the space in front of him. “Hey, we’ll figure this out together, okay?” He poked you in the side. “If he’s too focused on the smell of Evans’ hair or whatever to see that he already has the perfect girl in front of him, he’s not as smart as you think he is.” You giggled slightly, his words warming you. Sirius smiled, happy to see you cheering up a bit.

“Why don’t we go raid the kitchens? The coolest person I know once told me that elf-crafted mint chocolate chip ice cream is the best way to heal a broken heart,” he teased. You groaned, remembering how you’d told him that as a last resort to get him to stop complaining about how he missed his sailor ex-boyfriend every time you two went to Hogsmeade. At least your random advice wound up benefiting you now, you thought as you collected the last of your stationery and exited the library.

Neither you nor Sirius saw how James watched you smile up at Sirius as you walked away, holding his arm and laughing loudly at something he muttered. Anna Dumotier, a Hufflepuff fifth-year and one of Lily’s friends, would remember later that night how he seemed to tune out Lily’s voice for a moment and stared at the doors to the library with a strange expression on his face. His brows were furrowed like he was trying to decipher the answer to an unfamiliar puzzle, his eyes widened with confusion and a glint of something she could only identify as jealousy before Lily brought him back to the conversation with a graceful flip of her hair. But no— she shook her head— that couldn’t be right. What could James possibly be jealous of when he finally had the girl of his dreams in his arms?

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read on: part ii

#james potter x reader #james potter x y/n #sirius black #bisexual sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #fem reader #best friends to lovers #friends to lovers #marauders #marauders x y/n #lily evans #harry potter #hp fandom

[qqueenofhades]

Hello! This is kind of a weird ask, I'm sorry to bother you, but seeing as you're a very intelligent studied historian that I deeply respect, I was hoping you could offer some advice? Or like, things i could read? Lately, i feel like my critical thinking skills are emaciated and its scaring the shit out of me. I feel very slow and like I'm constantly missing important info in relation to news/history/social activism stuff. Thats so vague, sorry, but like any tips on how i can do better?

Aha, thank you. There was recently a good critical-thinking infograph on my dash, so obviously I thought I remembered who reblogged it and checked their blog, it wasn't them, thought it was someone else, checked their blog, it also wasn't them, and now I can't find it to link to. Alas. But I will try to sum up its main points and add a few of my own. I'm glad you're taking the initiative to work on this for yourself, and I will add that while it can seem difficult and overwhelming to sort through the mass of information, especially often-false, deliberately misleading, or otherwise bad information, there are a few tips to help you make some headway, and it's a skill that like any other skill, gets easier with practice. So yes.

The first and most general rule of thumb I would advise is the same thing that IT/computer people tell you about scam emails. If something is written in a way that induces urgency, panic, the feeling that you need to do something RIGHT NOW, or other guilt-tripping or anxiety-inducing language, it is -- to say the least -- questionable. This goes double if it's from anonymous unsourced accounts on social media, is topically or thematically related to a major crisis, or anything else. The intent is to create a panic response in you that overrides your critical faculties, your desire to do some basic Googling or double-checking or independent verification of its claims, and makes you think that you have to SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE NOW or you are personally and morally a bad person. Unfortunately, the world is complicated, issues and responses are complicated, and anyone insisting that there is Only One Solution and it's conveniently the one they're peddling should not be trusted. We used to laugh at parents and grandparents for naively forwarding or responding to obviously scam emails, but now young people are doing the exact same thing by blasting people with completely sourceless social media tweets, clips, and other manipulative BS that is intended to appeal to an emotional gut rather than an intellectual response. When you panic or feel negative emotions (anger, fear, grief, etc) you're more likely to act on something or share questionable information without thinking.

Likewise, you do have basic Internet literacy tools at your disposal. You can just throw a few keywords into Google or Wikipedia and see what comes up. Is any major news organization reporting on this? Is it obviously verifiable as a fake (see the disaster pictures of sharks swimming on highways that get shared after every hurricane)? Can you right-click, perform a reverse image search, and see if this is, for example, a picture from an unrelated war ten years ago instead of an up-to-date image of the current conflict? Especially with the ongoing Israel/Palestine imbroglio, we have people sharing propaganda (particularly Hamas propaganda) BY THE BUCKETLOAD and masquerading it as legitimate news organizations (tip: Quds News Network is literally the Hamas channel). This includes other scuzzy dirtbag-left websites like Grayzone and The Intercept, which often have implicit or explicit links to Russian-funded disinformation campaigns and other demoralizing or disrupting fake news that is deliberately designed to turn young left-leaning Westerners against the Democrats and other liberal political parties, which enables the electoral victory of the fascist far-right and feeds Putin's geopolitical and military aims. Likewise, half of our problems would be solved if tankies weren't so eager to gulp down and propagate anything "anti-Western" and thus amplify the Russian disinformation machine in a way even the Russians themselves sometimes struggle to do, but yeah. That relates to both Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Palestine.

Basically: TikTok, Twitter/X, Tumblr itself, and other platforms are absolutely RIFE with misinformation, and this is due partly to ownership (the Chinese government and Elon Fucking Musk have literally no goddamn reason whatsoever to build an unbiased algorithm, and have been repeatedly proven to be boosting bullshit that supports their particular worldviews) and partly due to the way in which the young Western left has paralyzed itself into hypocritical moral absolutes and pseudo-revolutionary ideology (which is only against the West itself and doesn't think that the rest of the world has agency to act or think for itself outside the West's influence, They Are Very Smart and Anti-Colonialist!) A lot of "information" in left-leaning social media spaces is therefore tainted by this perspective and often relies on flat-out, brazen, easily disprovable lies (like the popular Twitter account insisting that Biden could literally just overturn the Supreme Court if he really wanted to). Not all misinformation is that easy to spot, but with a severe lack of political, historical, civic, or social education (since it's become so polarized and school districts generally steer away from it or teach the watered-down version for fear of being attacked by Moms for Liberty or similar), it is quickly and easily passed along by people wanting trite and simplistic solutions for complex problems or who think the extent of social justice is posting the Right Opinions on social media.

As I said above, everything in the world is complicated and has multiple factors, different influences, possible solutions, involved actors, and external and internal causes. For the most part, if you're encountering anything that insists there's only one shiningly righteous answer (which conveniently is the one All Good and Moral People support!) and the other side is utterly and even demonically in the wrong, that is something that immediately needs a closer look and healthy skepticism. How was this situation created? Who has an interest in either maintaining the status quo, discouraging any change, or insisting that there's only one way to engage with/think about this issue? Who is being harmed and who is being helped by this rhetoric, including and especially when you yourself are encouraged to immediately spread it without criticism or cross-checking? Does it rely on obvious lies, ideological misinformation, or something designed to make you feel the aforementioned negative emotions? Is it independently corroborated? Where is it sourced from? When you put the author's name into Google, what comes up?

Also, I think it's important to add that as a result, it's simply not possible to distill complicated information into a few bite-sized and easily digestible social media chunks. If something is difficult to understand, that means you probably need to spend more time reading about it and encountering diverse perspectives, and that is research and work that has to take place primarily not on social media. You can ask for help and resources (such as you're doing right now, which I think is great!), but you can't use it as your chief or only source of information. You can and should obviously be aware of the limitations and biases of traditional media, but often that has turned into the conspiracy-theory "they never report on what's REALLY GOING ON, the only information you can trust is random anonymous social media accounts managed by God knows who." Traditional media, for better or worse, does have certain evidentiary standards, photographing, sourcing, and verifying requirements, and other ways to confirm that what they're writing about actually has some correspondence with reality. Yes, you need to be skeptical, but you can also trust that some of the initial legwork of verification has been done for you, and you can then move to more nuanced review, such as wording, presentation of perspective, who they're interviewing, any journalistic assumptions, any organizational shortcomings, etc.

Once again: there is a shit-ton of stuff out there, it is hard to instinctively know or understand how to engage with it, and it's okay if you don't automatically "get" everything you read. That's where the principle of actually taking the time to be informed comes in, and why you have to firmly divorce yourself from the notion that being socially aware or informed means just instantly posting or sharing on social media about the crisis of the week, especially if you didn't know anything about it beforehand and are just relying on the Leftist Groupthink to tell you how you should be reacting. Because things are complicated and dangerous, they take more effort to unpick than just instantly sharing a meme or random Twitter video or whatever. If you do in fact want to talk about these things constructively, and not just because you feel like you're peer-pressured into doing so and performing the Correct Opinions, then you will in fact need to spend non-social-media time and effort in learning about them.

If you're at a university, there are often subject catalogues, reference librarians, and other built-in tools that are there for you to use and which you SHOULD use (that's your tuition money, after all). That can help you identify trustworthy information sources and research best practices, and as you do that more often, it will help you have more of a feel for things when you encounter them in the wild. It's not easy at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes more so, and will make you more confident in your own judgments, beliefs, and values. That way when you encounter something that you KNOW is wrong, you won't be automatically pressured to share it just to fit in, because you will be able to tell yourself what the problems are.

Good luck!

#coffeeandcoyotes #ask #school stuff #critical thinking

[141trash]

Breaking Point pt 2

Read part one here

AN: Thank you so much for all the love on the first part! I had such a hard time writing this, mostly because I don't really know how to write scenes like this... So after multiple failed attempts I sort of copped out on the violence? I'm workin hard on part 3 pls let me know how you liked part 2

The first punch went straight into his gut, knocking the wind out of him. You let out a fearful squeak, squeezing your eyes shut and turning your head away.

"No, no." the man scolded mockingly, "Don't look away princess. Don't want you missing the show."

A hand grasped your hair roughly, pulling your head back sharply to an upright position and earning a startled yelp. He smirked, settling on the chair one of the other guards had brought in for him and forced you to sit at his feet, directly in front of Simon.

"Oi. Leave 'er alone. Your problem is with me yeah?" Simon lurched forward, but was yanked back by the guards and forced to his knees.

The grip on your hair tightened, causing you to whimper.

"Correct. My problem is with you." He leaned his face down next to yours, using his free hand to caress your cheek, "But this is a learning experience and we have to explore every angle."

You glowered at him, wrenching your jaw from his grip and in a brief moment of foolish bravery, spat in his face. Rage fluttered over his face, splotchy patches of red coloring his cheeks and neck.

"You would do well to watch yourself." he told you stiffly, "I might break my own rules, just to watch you suffer."

"You're a fucking freak!" you shouted back, "I don't know who you are! I don't know what you want. Just let me go."

Simon watched you thrash, trying desperately to get free. A flutter of protectiveness washed over him seeing the heavy set man looming over you. Even if you were working with them, which he was beginning to think you weren't, this sort of treatment wasn't something anyone deserved.

By the time they finally left, you'd screamed and cried yourself hoarse. Begging and pleading for them to s top as they forced you to watch the interrogation. Well it was less of an interrogation and more turning a man into a human punching bag.

All the while, the firm grip on your hair had forced you to continue watching, pulling you back every time you turned your head away. The slimy voice of the man who was clearly the boss, speaking directly in your ear, reminding you mockingly to keep your eyes open.

They left you shivering and cowering on the floor, not daring to move towards the lieutenant until the door had swung shut and the footsteps had faded away.

"I'm sorry." You whispered when the two of you were alone. Snot and tears dried on your face from having to endure watching a man get the life beaten out of him in front of you. He was slumped clutching his middle with one arm.

"S' not your fault." He grimaced, pushing himself up to lean against the wall for support.

He was hard to look at if you were being honest. One of his eyes would likely be swollen shut in a few hours, and there was a trickle of blood where one of the guards had split the skin just below his eyebrow. It wasn't like you'd never seen violence before. But action movies, and witnessing the occasional drunken street fight were nothing like this. The horrifying unrelenting sound of fists hitting skin, coupled with the muffled grunts of pain had left you nauseous.

"I know you from somewhere?" Simon broke you out of your thoughts. He was eyeing you again, studying you for any connection you two might have.

Unfortunately as unfamiliar as you were to him, he was to you as well.

Shaking your head you replied, "I don't think so. I don't recognize you."

He snorted a laugh, " 've usually got m' face covered up."

"What? Like. Like a mask?" Your face scrunched as you tried to picture it, "What are you some sort of superhero?"

Simon scoffed at the assumption and then let out a low groan, slumping further into himself. Fuck what were you supposed to do? The last time you'd taken first aid courses it'd been as a teenager so you could apply to be a camp counselor. You doubted those skills would be useful here anyways.

"I don't," you crawled over to sit next to him gulping nervously, "I don't know what to do. Please tell me how to help you."

"Save your strength. There's nothing either of us can do right now. My team will have noticed I'm gone by now. Likely they're on their way to find me."

You didn't know why, but the words were so reassuring. Especially considering he was a literal stranger. But looking him over, even though he was beaten bloody you felt hopeful. From his large muscular frame, to the faint scars that littered his visible skin, he felt like someone with experience.

"That man. He called you Lieutenant." You began hesitantly, "You're military?"

"I am. Can call me Ghost."

"Ghost." You repeated, raising your eyebrows. He took in your unimpressed expression and glared almost playfully at you.

"Yeah, Ghost."

"Whatever you say Lieutenant."

Taglist: @teehee-47, @bleuu-moon (cant remember if you wanted to be tagged so sorry if you didnt ^^;)

#i'm not satisfied but i cant work on this pt anymore #cod x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #cod x you #breaking point series #sah rambles