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cycat4077 · 4 months

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Gator's room: foreshadowing & clues

I went back to take a look at the scene of Gator in his room. While the "flag", girly posters, blaring heavy metal and handcuffs were an immediate stand out to all of us, I wanted to have a look to see if there were any other clues to who Gator is.

First up, here's his room:

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT FOR EPISODES 1-8

Let's look a little closer at the obvious foreshadowing.

Based on the previews and the Instagram post from the makeup artist (along with the subtle nods to Oedipus), it appears Ole Munch is going to torture Gator. We see him holding a knife to his eyes, and in the original trailer, Gator is bloody and blindfolded while being led by a noose.

Gator's own posters, decor, and drawings seem to depict this fate.

#1 The poster immediately behind his shoulder depicts a man with no eyes - potentially gouged out.

#2 The drawing below it has the eyes blocked out in colours that suggest necrotic (dead) tissue.

#3 The animal skull on his wall obviously has no eyes.

The Oedipus parallel and removal of his peepers were foreshadowed right in Gator's room from episode 3.

Linda's fate (mommy issues)

We learned in the last episode that Linda is dead. Roy tells Dot that he can burry Dot right next to Linda. When Dot confronts Gator and tries to win him over via his mother, Gator gets visibly emotional and shaken. We see hope and heartache run through him simultaneously. I think Gator knows instinctively that his mother is dead, but some small part of him hopes she is still out there.

I also think Gator's drawings depict his mother.

#1 This drawing not only depicts a person with eyes blacked out, but the drawing is clearly of a woman - possibly a corpse. She has breasts and long hair but is drawn in purples, reds, and blues; colours that represent bruises, blood, and dying flesh.

#2 The other drawing with missing eyes is also of a woman. This drawing once again has long hair, but she is smiling.

Perhaps Gator accidentally saw his mother's dead body. He has a drawing that represents a scary corpse (reality) and one that represents an almost comical one. Maybe the smile is how he tries to remember Linda - dead but somehow still smiling for him.

Other little things

#1 Robbed of childhood innocence. Gator's room is filled with "tough boy" items: swimsuit model photos, car photos, alcohol, heavy metal posters, etc. But he also has children's toy cars. The hot rod photos are in direct contrast to the toy cars on his shelf. The boy trapped inside the man. A boy robbed of his childhood by abuse and traumatic events.

#2 Jack Skellington. I'm probably one of the only people on the planet who have not yet watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, but the Jack Skellington parallels go beyond just the mask Gator wore. To me, it looks like he also drew Jack - and yet another reference to death. The skull's mouth is sewn shut too, just like Gator is sworn to obey his father and not speak the truths about what Roy has done.

#3 Red or Blue Pill? Again, I have failed to watch yet another classic film: the Matrix. But this poster seems to be a clear reference to it, I think.

According to Google, "The red pill and blue pill represent a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in the contented experience of ordinary reality with the blue pill."

And if there's anyone with the last name of Tillman who will be forced to see reality (and potentially change), it is Gator. Gator will likely be forced this "red pill" by Ole Munch, either finally seeing the reality of his father's ways, or by becoming the next sin eater.

Whatever the outcome, the poster must have some sort of meaning!

That's all for now 😊 But I really love all the subtleties in this show! It's fantastically written and acted, and Joe is doing such an exceptional job playing this mutli-layered and morally ambiguous character of Gator!

***EDIT***

A post by @familyfriendlyhoho got me thinking about the drawing on Gator's wall. I was thinking that his drawings represent his dead mother, Linda and that he may have accidentally seen her corpse. The post theorizes that:

"I feel like Gator knew Linda was dead. but worst, I feel like Roy showed it to him."

And I think that this is the most-likely scenario. Roy is sinister enough to do something like that to his own son. I can imaging Roy telling Gator to stop being a loser and become a winner and, to drive the point home, he could have led Gator to Linda's corpse warning "this is what happens to losers".

If so, Gator's drawings would depict the corpse he witnessed. Even here, before Gator gives himself the "I'm a winner" pep talk, we see him glance towards the drawing - a reminder of what happens to losers. He then feels the need to convince himself that he is not one, despite what his father says.

#fargo season 5 #fargo fx #fargo s5 #fargo spoilers #fargo #gator tillman #joe keery

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songmingisthighs · 4 months

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Wanbelyn

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. xvii - 2 seconds

neurosurgeon!hongjoong × reader

buy me coffee ?

where love and peace is held, i never expected for this to happen. i planned and i planned, i expected, and i hoped, but it was never you. you held what i wanted hostage to make room for you, the thing that i needed but has no means of acceptance. deny me, live your best life.

You don't know why you were so nervous to meet Hongjoong again. It wasn't like you fear him. Maybe it was the prospect of getting a new job that make you feel rather nauseated.

Even as you bring your mug to your lips you felt your hands trembling slightly, a sight that made Yeonjun sigh in pity.

Each time the door of Yeonjun's cafe open, you couldn't help but snap your head towarda it, expecting to see the dad and son duo. It happened around 7 times before you saw a familiar boy running and colliding against the door, pressing his face harshly in hopes to open the door but alas his entire body weight was not enough to budge the door. Within seconds, his dad showed up, slightly dishevelled and out of breath and you easily figured Kijoong had slipped away and ran to the cafe by himself.

Once the door opened, Kijoong dashed to you and without you even welcoming him, he climbed up on your lap. "Kijoong!" Hongjoong called out exasperatedly which sadly fell deaf on Kijoong's ears as he squeezed your cheeks together, "HI!" he yelled at your face before giggling and (stranggling) hugging you with his arms tightly. "I'm so sorry," Hongjoong sheepishly apologized and tried to pull Kijoong away only for Kijoong to bite his arm, causing Hongjoong to yelp. "Kijoong!" You gasped, pulling the boy off of you momentarily much to his displeasure, whining and trying to latch on you once again. "You don't bite your dad! You don't do that to anyone!" You scolded, eyebrows furrowing with a finger pointed at the boy.

Hearing you scold him, Kijoong's cartoon puppy ears droop down and his eyes grew round and shiny. Hongjoong was ready to swoop in and tell his son that it was all good, he wasn't hurt, but the sight of you on a stare-off with his son was astonishing. For a while, neither one of you looked like you were going to give up but of course, Kijoong gave up first. He begrudgingly turn to his dad and pouted, "Sorry daddy," then he looked up at you with his bottom lip jutted out. The moment your serious expression melt away however, Kijoong's lips turned upside down and his posture straightened. "Good job, buddy!" You raised a hand for him to high-five which he did (hard).

It took you a while but you soon realized that Hongjoong was watching the two of you and once you came to it, you blushed and ducked your head down, "I- I'm sorry, I should 't have scolded Kijoong like that, I-" "No, please," Hongjoong chuckled, waving you off, "I'm glad I could see a preview of how you and Kijoong would be like."

At the mention of your employment, you sat straighter and you visibly squared. "Speaking of, I need to tell you how I'm concerned how this job is relevant to my career trajectory," you stated, looking serious as Kijoong settled with playing with your hand. "Well, I told you that Kijoong has PNES and so I need someone with medical training who are ready to handle the situation if he has an episode. Currently we're trying to kick start his behavioural therapy but his emotional state is too unstable so a certain level of nursing SOP is needed. Not only that, I need someone who's used to a doctor's schedule," he explained, trying so hard to focus and not comment on how you seemed unbothered when Kijoong began using your hand as a toy, splaying your palm on his face and shaking it off before replanting it. "I'm glad you explained, but I'm still hesitant so I would like to discuss this 3 months probation thing," "Oh, yeah, that. Well, considering how Kijoong is with his previous nannies, I expect he'll do something to run you off within the first two days but seeing as how he seem to like you and how desperate I am, I'm willing to give you provisions that can help you go back to nursing which includes me actually helping you finding jobs until you get recruited. But that will only happen after the three month mark." "Why three month?" "Because it's his school holiday soon and within three months, he'll be busy with school so I can just go back to my previous schedule," he shrugged.

You were hesitant in the beginning and honestly you were still kind of unsure. But you were glad how candid Hongjoong was being about his son and you know because you had asked Wooyoung to tell you about him beforehand. Not to mention the bags under his eyes and how his posture is slightly hunched.

A hand tapped your cheek and you looked down to see Kijoong grinning up at you. "Thirsty, please," he stated which surprised Hongjoong (yet again) because of how polite he was being. "You wanna order something, buddy?" You asked and he nodded enthusiastically. Hongjoong reached over and made a motion to grab Kijoong, "Here, I can take him to the cashier and help him get something," he offered but you shook your head, "I have no problem taking him. That's what you want me to do anyways, right?" You grinned at him before letting Kijoong down and taking his hand to walk him to Yeonjun who was manning the cashier.

Carefully, Hongjoong watched over how you interact with Kijoong. He noticed how you never initiated anything and would instead offer Kijoong options on how he wanted to proceed. For example, Kijoong couldn't see the menu hung on the back that well and you made a point to let him know that there was a menu on the counter by pointing at it and name some items. Knowing that, Kijoong tapped your leg and asked to be raised up so he could see better. It was the little things that you did that made Kijoong felt like he has control and Hongjoong never realized how big of an impact it has on how his son behaves.

For a moment, Hongjoong even indulged in the fantasy of whether or not Kijoong's mother would've treated Kijoong as such and how different Kijoong would've been had she not left them too soon.

Of course, those thoughts were erased once you walked back to the table. Hongjoong's somber expression replaced with a smile when his son excitedly told him that he got himself juice and his dad an iced americano. Though it was a flash, you couldn't help but notice the shift but decided to not bring it up out of politeness.

When you settled back down to your seat, Kijoong as about to climb on your lap again, making it severely obvious to Hongjoong how much he likes and trusts you as he had never done this to someone he had only known for less than a month. It took Mingi half a year for the boy to warm up to him and maybe that was because Mingi was seeing him on a clinical setting.

Your conversation had been cut at a rather hanging manner, there were unsurety from both parties; will this help you with your employment issue? Will this help Hongjoong with his son? Will this be a mistake? It was a bit of a risk for both you and Hongjoong considering the way you both knew each other.

So imagine Hongjoong's surprise when you sighed and leaned on the table with crossed arms. "Okay, so tell me what you can offer salary-wise and benefit." When Hongjoong look at you with eyes widened to the size of saucers, you couldn't help bur find it adorable how Kijoong resembled him so much but you masked that facination with a roll of an eye. "Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna try this job for three months but you better hold up your end, are we clear?" You thrusted your hand forward for him to shake which he gladly grab and shook firmly.

"Okay," Hongjoong cleared his throat, "Let's talk responsibilities."

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet

taglist :

@yunho-mp3 @strawberry-yeo @luvt0kki @allisonleannn @dinossaurz @khjcs @blackb3ll @aloverga @at1nys-blog @itsbeeble @senpai-of-doom @axo-l0tl @green-thots @intancollins @galaxypox @fire-and-flame @maddiebabyxoxo @alyssajavenss @mirror-juliet @gxlden-bxbyy @charreddonuts @dreamlesswonder86 @mayonnaisehoeshit @kodzukein @teenyfinds @dear-dreamie @mitchloveswriting @soobiverse @satsuri3su @phenomenalgirl9 @guess-monst3r @dimeb29 @ka-ni-ma @yayaistime @angelicyeo @kyume02 @thedistractedwriter @surveilenceysystem @ateezourstars @mismatchfluffysocks @puppyminnnie

@rheriver @olizzly @chocolatelightbeliever @bubblesdestiny @starjoongie1117

@yungilia

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smileysuh · 1 year

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Private Room : Nct 127

🌙 staring. nct 127 x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “A lot has changed,” you admit. “Honestly- I never thought I’d take a break from cam shows once I started- never thought I’d be doing a solo show with a nct 127 private room- but here we are.”

cw/ tw. cam sex, solo cam room, masturbation, use of toys, multiple orgasms, dirty talk, praise, vibrator, dildo, overstim, etc...

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.6k

🍭 aus. cam girl reader, poly idols, idols sharing a fuck buddy, dirty boy idols, etc...

☀️ mlist + an. cam room directory here - after a long haitus, cam baby is back :) this is the first of 5 new chapters that will be coming out in the next few weeks :) stay tuned for all the angsty forbidden love that cambaby is low key known for

It’s been so long since you last did a cam show that you’re not sure who will even join, and the thought of an unsuccessful evening is what prompts you to message some of your most devoted fans.

Despite being on tour, you’re still in frequent contact with Johnny, Jaehyun and Haechan, so when you suggest a NCT 127 only camroom to the eldest of the three, it takes no time at all for him to run it by all his members and come back to you with a confirmation that eight of nine will tune in for your show.

“Everyone’s excited for another episode of our little cam baby,” Johnny tells you when he calls you before your start time. “The guys are getting a little agitated from our tour lasting so long- and I know Jae and Hyuck miss you-”

“What about you, John?” you toy, enjoying the taste of his legal name on your tongue. “Are you missing me yet?”

“I always miss you, baby.”

You can hear the grin in his voice, and your heart does summersaults in your chest, the way it always does when you talk to your most longstanding, loyal, and kind dominant.

“Miss you too,” you admit. “For more than just cam shows- although… well, you know I also miss being on camera with you.”

The last time you’d enjoyed Johnny infront of a live audience, it had been under the watchful eye of got7’s Jinyoung.

So much has happened since then-

“The guys are eager to hear what you’ve been up to,” Johnny tells you, pulling you from your thoughts. “I think they’ll like it that it’s just all of us- they can ask more personal questions.”

“Personal questions-” you echo, letting out an anxious laugh, “uh oh.”

“You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to,” Johnny assures you. “Remember, you’re running the show, princess.”

“I’m running the show,” you repeat, allowing the words to calm you while you get set up with a tripod and your box of toys.

“That’s my girl,” Johnny’s praise is the cherry on top, and you realize that - while it has been a while since you did a shoq - you’re still going to do just fine.

All you have to do is be yourself- that’s always worked in the past.

In fact, a solo cam session with your closest supporters is the perfect avenue to practice radical self love… in all forms.

“Ok, Johnny I gotta hang up so I can start my show on time-”

“Yeah, no problem-”

“But uh…” you swallow thickly, pausing as you stare at your phone. There’s something itching on the back of your tongue- something you dare not say, so instead, you hit him with; “You’re all in separate hotel rooms during this, or…?”

“Uh huh,” Johnny laughs- “as much as we’re all close as members, I don’t think any of us actually want to watch you while we’re in the same room- we’re not Wayv.”

The mention of their brother group makes you giggle- there’d been a time when a few of the members had been big into your cam show, and they’d ditch practice to huddle in the bathroom and watch you- but 127 is not Wayv.

“Get on with your show, baby,” Johnny’s smooth voice is always so calming, “I’ll see ya in there.”

“Bye, John.”

“Bye, baby.”

The line goes dead, and you finish the rest of your set up in record time. Soon, you’re placing your phone in the tripod, sending a private room link off to your 127 group chat, and turning the camera on.

By the time you’ve gone to sit on your bed, adjusting your laptop so you can see the comment section, a handful of idols have already joined.

“Hey guys-” you breathe, eyes skimming through the usernames you know: NiceGuyJohnny, KittyTae, yutAH, Doie, ValentineJae97, HeyChannie-

And then two new users pop into the chat, with names that couldn’t be more diametrically opposed: PuppyBoyWoo and MarcusLee.

“Marcus Lee?” you read out loud, laughing as you lift your eyes to the camera. “I’d thought yutAH was bold but okay Mark, I see you-”

HeyChannie: fucking mark

NiceGuyJohnny: have you never made a fake user profile before markie?

yutAH: this kid

PuppyBoyWoo: what about me? What do you think of my user name?

“Hi Jungwoo, I love your user name- it’s good to see you here,” you smile. “Are you my little puppy boy, Woo?”

PuppyBoyWoo: bark bark bark

HeyChannie: woof woof

HeyChannie has donated $69

yutAH: grrrrrrr

yutAH has donated $69

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $69

PuppyBoyWoo has donated $100

MarcusLee has donated $100

ValentineJae97 has donated $420

God, you’ve missed this, missed how easy it is-

“How about our resident kitty? You still here, Tae?” you ask, wanting to involve all eight members if possible-

KittyTae: meow

KittyTae has donated $69

“Now we’re just waiting on you Doyoung-”

Doie has donated $200

“And that makes eight,” you grin. “Too bad Taeil couldn’t join.”

HeyChannie: couldnt? More like WOULDNT

HeryChannie: he’s a good christian boy. Unlike marcus

MarcusLee: hey!

NiceGuyJohnny: we all know Taeil is married to his beauty sleep

Doie: we should probably ALL be asleep right now. We have a flight tomorrow morning

HeyChannie: then LEAVE

HeyChannie: bitch

“Hyuck-” you groan, “I’m never going to take any of my clothes off if you force me to be a moderator- can’t you behave yourself for the next little while? For me?”

HeyChannie has donated $69

HeyChannie: fine. But I won’t be HAPPY about it

“Never needed you to be happy, just needed you to listen and be a good boy for me tonight-” you grin, enjoying the way you can toy with Hyuck with the safe distance between you.

ValentineJae97: are you into good boys now baby?

ValentineJae97: what else has changed since your last show

“A lot has changed,” you admit. “Honestly- I never thought I’d take a break from cam shows once I started- never thought I’d be doing a solo show with a nct 127 private room- but here we are.”

PuppyBoyWoo: what’s changed? This is my first show

“Well, for starters-” you lean back against your bed, toying with the fabric of your hoodie, “Got7 left their company- I think Mark would still join a cam room, but his time change is a lot- then, BTS is touring and busy too-”

NiceGuyJohnny: tell them about the job you got baby

“Right, I got a job… briefly.” You laugh at the memory. “I was doing behind the scenes with the Legendary Kingdom stuff- couldn’t really be doing a cam show during all of that. Just… a lot has been going on… I think I’m going to start doing more of these again… but uh…. While you guys are all on tour, I can’t just keep doing nct 127 solo rooms, so there might be some new faces and users popping up too.”

ValentineJae97: like who

yutAH: spill the deets baby

“Are we really here to talk my personal life?” you avoid the question. “I thought you guys wanted a show-”

PuppyBoyWoo: yes

PuppyBoyWoo: please take your shirt off : )

HeyChannie: what he said

HeyChannie: I don’t need to be made jealous while on the last leg of our tour

HeyChannie: I’m going to pretend it’s just us

Doie: delusional

“Anyways!” you lift your toy box, showing it to the camera. “Here’s my collection-”

NiceGuyJohnny: *side eye*

“Screw you John-” you groan, hating that he knows you so well, “fine it’s not my whole collection, it’s just what I like best for tonight.”

HeyChannie: that’s a lot of vibrators baby

“And what about it?” you taunt, picking up one of the black, chordless wands. “Honestly, this is one of my favourites-” while looking down at your toybox, you consider your options. “Part of me had thought I’d let you guys choose what I should use tonight- but after reading the chaos of your chat, I think maybe I should just do my own thing and you guys should be thankful I put up with all your bickering and low donations.”

Doie: low donations-

Doie has donated $200

HeyChannie has donated $69

ValentineJae97 has donated $500

MarcusLee has donated $100

PuppyBoyWoo has donated $100

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $1000

yutAH: you know what? I was going to donate something fun, but after Johnny just slamming money down- I’m not so sure

NiceGuyJohnny: pay the nice cam baby you menace

yutAH has donated $666

KittyTae has donated $100

“I like the sound of donations,” you grin, “think it’s about time I started taking my clothes off, huh?”

You avoid your computer while undressing, although you see the chat blowing up in your periphery.

After going so long without a show, a slow strip tease is just what you need to feel sexy on camera again.

Your hoodie is removed first, and then you slowly slide out of your sleeping shorts. The large tshirt covering your form is next, and it leaves you in your bra and panties.

“Should I keep going?” you ask. “I think I wanna hear some coins if I’m going to take any more off.”

Your computer dings a few times, the sound of money making you grin. Ever the tease, you turn your back to the camera, reaching behind yourself to unclasp your bra.

You collect your breasts with a hand braced across your front, turning to face the camera at the foot of the bed. “Should I go slow tonight? I know you guys are used to me getting my clothes torn off really quick, but… now that it’s just me, I can tease, right?”

You shift your attention to the computer at your side, skimming the comments there. You’ve got a pretty divided cam room- with Johnny, Jungwoo and Mark being reassuring while Haechan, Yuta and Doyoung are more to the point-

“Are you really that concerned about your bed time, Doie?” you laugh, having not expected this kind of reaction from the stoic man you’re often shocked to see in your cam room at all. With a sigh, you give in, removing your hand from your chest and allowing your breasts to be exposed, nipples hardening with the temperature of your room. “I guess I do need to be mindful of your schedule- gotta catch that flight tomorrow…”

Doie has donated $200

“If you guys are in that much of a rush to see me cum- I guess I might as well start, hmm?” You reach for your favourite vibrator and the sound of coins confirms you’re making the right choice. “But because I’m being rushed- maybe I shouldn’t even take off my panties until I’ve cum at least once.”

You’re enjoying having power- enjoying the ability to tease your cam room and go at your own pace- although you make them think they’re dictating at least some of it.

The vibrator buzzes to life and you bring it down to your panty covered core, groaning at the way the machine feels even through a piece of fabric. “So good…” you say, loud enough for your idols to hear. “Think I’m just going to relax back against my pillow and enjoy this.”

You’ve cum solo enough times to know how to use your toys with an expert hand, and it’s easy enough to get lost in the feeling of your vibrator in the exact spot you like.

You know how much of a tease this is- you laying flat, breasts exposed, pretty pussy still hidden while you begin to grind down on your toy- moving your hips fluidly-

Sounds begin to slip out of you, moans and whines that are as akin to music as the noise of coins and donations flooding in.

“Fuck, guys-” you groan when you apply more pressure to your clit- “my panties are sticking to me- I’m so wet already-”

You turn your head to the side, eager to read a few of the comments that are coming in on the computer next to you.

NiceGuyJohnny: take them off

HeyChannie: yeah take them off

PuppyBoyWoo: please take them off

ValentineJae97: you look so pretty baby

ValentineJae97 has donated $100

NiceGuyJohnny: are you close baby?

ValentineJae97: you can’t cum with your panties on like that

NiceGuyJohnny: yeah- move them to the side for us princess

HeyChannie: miss the look of that pretty fucking pussy

PuppyBoyWoo: bet you’re so pretty

PuppyBoyWoo: just for us

“Should I really take them off?” you ask, already feeling breathless- from the attention, or the vibrations on your clit- you’re not sure. “You guys wanna see my pretty little pussy- all wet and needy-”

The jingling of coins prompts you to reach down and toy with the waistband of your underwear. Jaehyun’s right about the annoyance you feel with panties in the way when you want to cum- and you know that if you get fully naked, you’ll reach your high in no time.

You suppose nct deserves it- suppose that after such a long time without a show, they should get to see you cum, fully, without your panties in the way.

With a groan, you move your vibrator away, pulling your underwear down before throwing them across the room.

“There we go-” you sigh, shifting your body closer to the camera at the foot of your bed, “someone better tell me I’m pretty or so help me god-”

ValentineJae97: so pretty

HeyChannie: the prettiest cam baby in the world

MarcusLee: you’re literally perfect

NiceGuyJohnny: gorgeous as always, princess

yutAH: fine as fuck

More moans leave your lips as the vibrator gets direct contact with your clit. Your wet makes it easy for the silicoln head to glide through your pussy lips, and you find yourself getting closer and closer-

“Shit- guys, I’m gonna cum-” you announce for the camera, earning coins a moment later. “Yeah- I’m gonna cum-” you can’t find it in yourself to look at the comment section, too focused on chasing your release as you grind your core harder against the vibrator. “Shit-”

The tension in your lower abdomen snaps, your orgasm slamming into you and making your toes curl. Gasps and whimpers escape you as you work your way through it- toy never leaving your pussy until you’re a shivering mess, legs closing around your hand-

You groan loudly, reaching your breaking point and turning your vibrator off before tossing it to the side. “That felt so good, fuck, I need a sec-”

You need to take a moment to recuperate, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths while the aftershocks of your orgasm roll through you.

When you’re able, you turn your head to look at the comment section, skimming through the words of praise and the donations.

ValentineJae97: you still sound so good when you cum baby

HeyChannie: fuck I miss your pretty pussy like you wouldn’t believe

NiceGuyJohnny: need this tour to be over princess

yutAH: you’re gonna have us all simping by the time this solo room is over

“You guys like the solo?” you ask, eager to hear their opinions on it.

HeyChannie: love the solo

PuppyBoyWoo: so good to be here : )

Doie: solos over watching you get fucked

HeyChannie: solos AND watching you get fucked… by me

yutAH: can’t wait to watch you fuck yourself though

“Yeah? With what though?” You reach for your boy of toys. “How many inches? Six… seven… eight?”

HeyChannie: eight

yutAH: 8

KittyTae: anything

NiceGuyJohnny: do you have a nine kicking around somewhere?

“A nine?!” you laugh. “Daddy- if I had a nine, would I still need you?”

NiceGuyJohnny: no one fucks like I do princess

NiceGuyJohnny: especially not some stupid toy

“You’re right about that-” you sigh, reaching for a dildo. “Even so, I think I’ll go with a seven incher today- it will give me something to miss about you guys. Plus…” you tease your tongue across the toy, “not everything is about big being better.”

HeyChannie: since when

Doie: oh my god shut up hyuck

HeyChannie: I think we’ve all learned something about the size of doyoungs dick today

“You two better stop fighting,” you groan, bringing the toy to your entrance and teasing it past your clit, “watching you bicker is not a turn on for anyone.”

The chat erupts in laughter and donations, and you draw your attention away from your computer, closing your eyes to focus on the feeling of the cock that you press into your tight hole, testing yourself.

“Fuck- that feels good,” you breathe. “Not the real thing, but… good.” You push the toy further into your pussy, delighted by the way your body reacts and squeezes around it. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but uh… it’s been a little while since I was properly fucked and… I might cum embarrassingly fast on this-”

PuppyBoyWoo: really????

HeyChannie: wanna watch you cum again

“You guys wanna watch me cum? Then I think… maybe the sound of donations might help…”

You love the way your computer dings immediately, and you begin to thrust the toy in and out of your pussy, marveling at how great it feels to be back on cam and chasing an orgasm with your own hands doing the work.

Gasps and moans begin to escape you, and you lean into them, knowing that a few of the nct members have a thing for audio and the sounds a girl makes when she cums hard.

“Fuck, guys- it’s so deep-” the base of the toy makes contact with your skin each time you thrust it, and it does a perfect job imitating the pretty noise you listen to when you’re getting fucked- you only wish you had a sexy man groaning in your ear. “Shit- I need you guys to come back from tour- I need someone whispering dirty nothings in my ear-”

You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed dirty talk, and doing a solo has made you more aware of the noise in your mind- noise that’s always quieted and drowned out by the men you fuck.

“Fuck-” you shift against your duvet, feeling the tension rising in the pit of your stomach- your free hand reaches for your vibrator and you announce “need to cum” loud enough for everyone to know what you’re about to do.

A shiver runs through your body when the second toy makes contact with your clit, and the hand thrusting your dildo into you stops momentarily while you let out a loud whine-

“Oh my god-” you begin to fuck yourself even harder, keeping the vibrator directly on your clit. Your legs begin to shake with effort and stimulation, and the dildo slides into you even smoother as you get wetter and wetter-

“Im gonna-” you whimper, biting your lip as the sound of donations floods through your room, “I’m gonna cum- fuck-” as your high hits you, you find the name “daddy-” slipping out of you, and you try to embody your favourite dominant as you overstim yourself, keeping the vibrator on your clit and the toy gliding in and out of your pussy until you’re a shaking, moaning mess.

The vibrator is the first toy you pull away from your core, flipping it off before tossing it to the side. The seven incher stays inside of you, and you wriggle your hips, gasping as the final shocks of your orgasm pass you by.

“Fuck-” you groan, turning your head to the side to read some comments while you slowly come down from your high.

PuppyBoyWoo: who’s daddy?

HeyChannie: obviously me

ValentineJae97: you wish

Doie: I think you both wish

yutAH: we all know IM oppa

HeyChannie: lol says who

yutAH: Markus

MarcusLee: it’s marcus with a C tho

NiceGuyJohnny: sounded so pretty when you came baby

PuppyBoyWoo: I think I can see who daddy is now

Doie: not haechan

HeyChannie: im going to put hair removal cream in ur shampoo

“I thought I said no more fighting-” you laugh, shaking your head at the way nct uses your chat feature. “Also… I think we all know Taeil is daddy.”

It feels safe to smooth over the issue at hand, to divert attention with a bit of comedic relief-

You can’t have it being a known thing that you pick favourites- that when you cum alone, in the safety of your own home, there’s only one man in your thoughts-

“I really liked doing this show for you guys,” you say, swallowing thickly and avoiding the thoughts bubbling inside of you. “Hope the rest of your tour goes well.”

NiceGuyJohnny: are we gonna get to see you on a show again before we get back?

Your heart squeezes in your chest. “Uh… yeah? I mean… maybe?”

NiceGuyJohnny: weren’t you just teasing us about new faces sweetheart?

NiceGuyJohnny: where did this ‘maybe’ come from

HeyChannie: she’s cute when she gets shy after cumming on cam

HeyChannie has donated $200

Doie has donated $200

KittyTae: thanks for the show angel

KittyTae has donated $200

PuppyBoyWoo: excited for your next show ;)

MarcusLee has donated $200

PuppyBoyWoo has donated $200

yutAH has donated $200

ValentineJae97: it’s been good seeing you again baby

ValentineJae97 has donated $400

NiceGuyJohnny: get some rest after this princess ;) see you around

NiceGuyJohnny has donated $1000

“Goodnight guys, have a good flight tomorrow morning,” you smile softly, finally pulling your toy from between your legs so you can sit up and grab your phone to turn off the camera.

When the show is off, phone discarded, you take a deep breath.

It’s funny how you can make nearly a years rent in one show-

Funny how the money still doesn’t do anything for the deep hole in your heart that can only be filled by love.

Interact with those who've cum before

› [nct] NiceGuyJohnny - online

› [got7] PubGMarkT - online

› [got7] beommie - online

› [wayv] Lucas99 & Hendery99 - online

› [got7] TheJinyoung - online

› [bts] TaeTae - online

› [nct] ValentineJae97 - online

› [nct] HeyChannie - online

› [multi] TheJinyoung & NiceGuyJohnny - online

› [nct] Private Room - now in server

› [svt] GyuGyu97 & Hannie - online

› [atz] Yunhoe - online

› [svt] CherryCheolie - online

Find the cam room directory here

Kofi I Paypal I Tumblr Masterlist

✘ general taglist:

general taglist: (send me an ask to join either tag list:)

@gotshinct - @subhyuck - @fraechan - @learnthisfeeling

@runahways - @d-abin - @milkteade - @woogyuhae

@anothershorthuman - @nihxxy - @vantxx95 - @bangshii

@poutypoutybin - @notbeforelong - @creepybakeoven

@ninetechculture - @yungiland - @suhsfam - @binchangf

@chogiwapadada - @librarian-stacks - @meowniee

@learnthisfeeling - @gigilame - @cumtrov3rsy

@mocha000 - @darthlunaa - @just-here-to-read-01 - @shiningnono

✘ nct taglist

@milkyway-vxm - @nctsawrus - @shiningdery - @freezerandfame

@fairieblog - @fairybr3ad - @peachyjaemin - @chemaistry

@sehunniepot

thanks to those who interacted with promos :)

@heavenly-mobo - @yourfavoritefreakyhan - @capr1sun

@ryusha-rose - @hyuckhoon - @kosmoreads - @meenjee

@arizejkt19 - @xcharlottemikaelsonx - @allie-mcginn

496 notes · View notes

thesithdiaries · 2 years

Text

A Beast (Harwin Strong imagine)

Pairing: Harwin Strong x female Targaryen!reader

Requested: nope

Warnings: brief mention of offing oneself, slight misogyny if you squint, spoilers for episode 1 and 3, typical westeros bs

A/N: this is much needed happiness for what happened in the show + this was basically inspired by the preview of queen charlotte’s netflix series (bridgerton prequel) PLEASE WATCH IF YOU HAVENT. literally sent a message to @astraljedi the second i finished watching that video (she sent it to me cause i had to idea this show was even happening)

Despite being King Viserys first born daughter, Y/N had no intention of being a queen. Although she loved the attention, the balls, the feasts, the beautiful dresses and jewelry, and all the privileges that came with being the daughter of a king, she was not interested in ruling seven kingdoms. She found it dreadful, borderline psychotic. And sitting with the small council for hours, deciding what to do in certain situations made her feel bored.

After Queen Aemma and Prince Baelon passed, Viserys set his eyes on Y/N. He had to find a way to keep his brother Daemon from the throne, therefore he decided his daughter would be the heir and would sit on the Iron Throne after he passed. Y/N knew he was planning this. Nobody had told her, but she did notice her father giving her looks while someone brought up there were no male heirs, citing that the Realm has been in twenty-one years of uncertainty and doubt.

“Your Grace,” a Kingsguard called, looking rather pale like he was about to faint. “Princess Y/N has requested your presence.”

Viserys looked perplexed for a second before making his way out of the room. Otto Hightower, however, was deeply annoyed. He still did not understand how the princess could order her father around.

Inside her bedchamber, Y/N sat on her desk. It was filled with history books, papers, and pens scattered all around. The door opened, revealing her father. He quickly smiled when he saw what she was doing. Y/N always showed a fascination for history.

“You called?” He cheekily asked, taking a seat next to her. His eyes scanned the table, she was reading about past kings.

“Yes. I thought about going to you but I am too tired to walk,” Y/N confessed.

“So you make me walk here?” Viserys faked a surprised face, Y/N always had the same excuse.

“I just wanted to speak to you privately,” she explained.

“Well then, speak,” Viserys softly urged her.

“I do not want to be queen.”

The air felt tense immediately at her confession. The king did not know what to answer, his mouth opening to refute her terrible idea but no words came out.

“I am not fit to rule. It is simply not me. Father, I know you have had this on your mind since you exiled uncle Daemon but I cannot accept the responsibility of being your heir.”

“My sweet girl, have you always felt this way?” He asked with concern, grabbing her hand, while she nodded. “Why did you keep this to yourself?”

“I did not want to anger you… and I also did not want you to be disappointed. Even if you keep it to yourself, I know you feel disappointed that Rhaenyra and I are not boys.”

“No no, you misjudged me. I love you and your sister. Yes, me having a son would relieve you from this burden but that does not mean I feel disappointed about my daughters. You and Rhaenyra are my biggest blessings and I will always thank your mother for giving me two amazing daughters.”

Y/N sniffled, this was the first real conversation that they had since the funeral. Her father’s words felt genuine. Viserys always made sure to be present in their lives, to show them love and affection.

“However; what am I supposed to do now t-”

“Rhaenyra can be your heir,” Y/N declared.

Viserys eyebrows rose with curiosity. “Rhaenyra? Has she spoken to you about this?”

“Honestly, no, she has not. But father, she can rule the kingdoms. Even if she does not participate, she learns from being in the small council meetings. Talk to her. She deserves being on the Iron Throne.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, until Viserys stood up to hug her. Y/N buried her face in his chest, feeling grateful that her father understood and did not argue about her decision.

They had decided to do a hunt to celebrate Aegon’s second nameday.

Y/N sat with the other ladies while she ate some sweet treats. It was mindless chatter, Alicent tried to include her in the conversation but Y/N only gave short answers to whatever they were asking about. Rhaenyra was nowhere in sight, which aggravated Y/N. Where could she possibly be?

With nothing else to do, Y/N excused herself and left the tent. The thought of going to sleep for the rest of the day sounded blissful.

“Pardon me, Princess?” A man interrupted her thoughts. “My name is Theodore Tyrell.”

Y/N smiled politely as he handed her a fruit bowl. “I gathered that from the rose on your chest. Thank you.”

“I do not think we've been properly introduced. I never found the correct opportunity to speak with you privately.”

“Oh,” Y/N awkwardly smiled. “Here I am. A pleasure to meet you, my lord.”

“Have you ever been to Highgarden?” Theodore asked.

“Twice, yet I am too young to remember,” Y/N replied, a feeling of dread filling her heart.

“You would love it. Highgarden is filled with flowers all around. Beautiful roses climbing up walls. The sights of the roseroad and the ocean road are simply breathtaking. However, we do not have a dragonpit…”

“Why, if I may ask, do you need a dragonpit?” Y/N hissed, pushing the bowl of fruits into his hands before the anger got the best of her.

“To house dragons, of course,” he replied with a condescending tone.

Y/N turned around and stormed into the tent, marching toward her father. “Oh, sweetheart, I was just about to call for you.” Viserys' smile dropped when he realized his daughter was seething with anger. “Are you alright?”

“Lord Tyrell? That is your best choice?” Y/N barked at him. “That man could be my grandfather.”

“You are of age, Y/N. Three-and-twenty, it is time for you to marry. It has been for a while.”

“That man? I would rather throw myself from the highest tower at the Red Keep before marrying him.” Viserys' eyes widened at her threat.

“Enough! I have been trying to speak about this with you since you became of age and all you have given me have been excuses. You must marry! It is your duty, especially now that your sister is the heir.” Viserys exclaimed, capturing the attention of everyone in the tent. People were staring, some of them murmuring about the conversation between the King and his daughter. “You and your sister will marry, whether you both like it or not. That is not up for discussion.”

Princess Y/N was quietly crying out of anger and frustration. Deep down in her heart, she knew her father was right, she needed to marry. Viserys went silent, mentally scolding himself for upsetting his precious daughter.

After their heated conversation, Y/N retired to her tent for the day, stating she was not to be disturbed under any circumstances.

Hours later, after the king had sunk into his cups, Lord Strong decided to try his luck.

“Excuse me, Your Grace.” Lyonel stood in front of the King, at the bottom of the steps. “Can we speak for a moment?”

Viserys sighed. “Should I guess? You believe that your son, Ser Harwin “Breakbones”, the strongest man in the Seven Kingdoms, is the best match for Y/N.”

Lyonel cleared his throat. “Yes sir, I believe so. My son, from what I have noticed, could be the only one that can deal with the princess. He is heir to Harrenhall, his strength and knowledge of battle will keep the princess protected. And the area is big enough to build a dragonpit.”

“Are you sure about this? Do you think my daughter will agree to this arrangement?” Viserys was unsure. Surely his daughter would not like this at all.

“Perhaps she will try and fight it, Your Grace. They should at least meet and have a conversation, maybe that will help. We should not just send them off to wed immediately. My son would not like that either.”

Viserys hummed. “After we return to king’s Landing, I will talk to her. I suggest you do the same with your son.”

Days later, in the Red Keep, Y/N was actively ignoring her father. She was still hurt about how their conversation played out. She ate all her meals in her bedchamber, only leaving when she knew her father was in a small council meeting. Alicent also made attempts to get them to talk but Y/N was not interested.

During the night, she felt relaxed to go out and sneak some food from the kitchens and new books, when she was intercepted by the King.

“Y/N!” He yelled, startling her. “You cannot keep doing this. We must talk.”

She shook her head and walked faster to her chamber, but he was close behind. Y/N could not close the door before he got inside. “Father, please, leave me alone.”

“No! I am sick of this, Y/N. You will not keep avoiding me,” Viserys raged. She sighed, sitting on her bed in defeat. “You will marry, I have found you a suitor.”

Y/N opened her mouth to protest, only for Viserys to raise his hand to make her stop.

“This is not up for discussion. You will meet him tomorrow night.”

“Who is he?” She asked and Viserys turned around to leave. “Father! Who is he? What is his name!”

The king had left. Y/N yelled in frustration, she hated not knowing.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the castle, Lyonel was about to speak with Harwin. “Son, do you have a moment?”

“Of course, father. What is it?” Harwin put down the paper he was reading to focus on Lyonel.

“You are to be wed.” He blurted out. Harwin felt the air being sucked out of him. “I spoke with the king during the hunt. You are to marry princess Y/N.”

“What? The king agreed to your proposal?” He was stunned. “What did princess Y/N say?”

“She, uh… she does not know you are the suitor,” Lyonel confessed. “We think it is better like this.”

“Father, that is absurd. She must be losing her mind at the uncertainty, you know that.”

Lyonel sighed. “I know, son. As I said, you will meet her tomorrow night. The king is already planning a feast in honor of this union.”

Harwin did not know what to think. He had not met Y/N, only saw her from a distance during the hunt. He was captivated by her beauty. He could only hope Y/N was not too upset when she found out it was him.

The following morning, Y/N was speaking with Rhaenyra while they ate breakfast together.

“Sister, you have to forgive father eventually,” Rhaenyra reminded her while taking a bite out of an apple.

“I know,” Y/N exhaled. “I just… I just feel that he does not care about my opinion on the matter.”

“If that were the case, you would be in Highgarden right now.”

Y/N gave her a look. “I suppose you are right. Have you heard anything about this mysterious suitor?”

“No, I am afraid I have not,” Rhaenyra confessed. “Father has been very secretive since we came back from the hunt.” Y/N covered her face with her hands, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Perhaps you will like him, he could be very handsome.”

“Or he could be a beast,” Y/N contradicted.

Nobody in the castle talked about the suitor. The princess has not heard not even a whisper about him. It frightened her immensely.

The hours moved quickly and it was time for them to meet. Viserys had arranged the small hall for this. Almost everything was going according to plan, but they did not know what the princess was up to in the gardens.

Y/N was currently trying to climb up a wall using flower branches. She planned to climb up, run from the castle, and come back the following morning. It sounded easy in her head, but now that it had to be executed, Y/N found it was not so simple. On the other hand, Harwin was on his way to the hall when he saw someone with silver locks trying to escape. He chuckled, walking up to stand under an arch.

“Hello, my lady. Are you in need of any assistance?” Harwin asked, holding his hands behind his back.

“I am quite fine, thank you. You can go back inside and do whatever,” she dismissed him.

“I will. But I am curious… What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she answered.

“You are doing something,” Harwin observed.

“I am not.”

“You are.”

Y/N got down from the branch, staring at the wall. “If you must know, I am trying to ascertain the best to climb over this garden wall.” She put her hands on her hips.

“Climb? Whatever for?” Harwin wondered with an amused expression.

“I think he may be a beast.”

“A beast?” He answered in surprise. “Who are we discussing?

“That is none of your business.” The princess slightly turned to say this to him before focusing her attention on the wall, causing Harwin to take a sharp breath to calm himself. “My suitor,” he smirked. “No one will speak of him with me. He is clearly a beast.”

“Understood,” Harwin nodded.

“If I grab here, perhaps you can assist me by lifting me up,” Y/N moved her hand to get his attention, then proceeded to climb up the branches again.

“You do not like beasts? What he looks like matters?” Harwin wondered.

“I do not care what he looks like. What I do not like is not knowing.” Harwin was right then, he told his father this. “Now, here. Just hold here, with a lift I believe I can climb up the garden wall.”

“You want me to lift you over so you may escape?” Harwin repeated what she requested, still feeling amused. “People will notice you are missing.”

“I will worry about that later. Now, please make haste.”

“I have absolutely no intention of helping you.”

Y/N got down and walked towards him. “I am a lady in distress. You refuse to help a lady in distress?”

“I refuse when that lady in distress is trying to go over a wall so she does not have to marry me.”

Y/N was stunned. “You? You are the man I am supposed to marry?” Her cheeks were red in embarrassment.

“I am deeply sorry if I look like a beast, princess,” Harwin teased. “I would have thought the same if I had not known it was you.”

“You,” she cleared her throat, “who are you?”

“Ser Harwin Strong,” he introduced himself while grabbing her hand to kiss it.

“Lord Strong’s son?” Y/N questioned with confusion.

“So you have heard about me,” Harwin smirked.

“If I am honest, only your name.” Y/N’s cheeks were even more flushed if that was possible. “I, umm… I will see you inside. Excuse me, Ser.”

Y/N almost ran, wanting to be away from him as soon as possible. Harwin, however, was faster. He grabbed her arm to make her stop and turn to him, bringing her close to his body. “Wait, princess.”

“This is not proper,” she stuttered.

“Neither is you trying to escape,” Harwin noted. Y/N failed to get out of his grip once again, his hold was tight but not enough to hurt.

“What must I do for you to let me go?” Y/N pouted.

“Just have a conversation with me before we go to the hall, so you can see I am not the beast you thought of,” he proposed. Y/N huffed in defeat, but deep down she was intrigued by him.

“Lead the way, Ser Harwin.”

taglist:

@my-dark-prince / @Daemonloversblog / @littlemoonash / @mypatrochilles / @beefbaby25 / @sweetybuzz2 / @fin-never / @asexualaromosafezone / @nerdy4itall / @yelchinweasleylothbrok / @Juless_world / @thatgaytevinter / @kaitieskidmore1 / @chevelledahuman / @rozendiors / @claudiajacobs / @savagemickey03 / @multifandom-loser / @direluvr / @dandycandy75 / @bitchyglitterfox / @rumandtearsflowerisevil / @moonlightsspirit / @dkathl / @holysmokesblog / @derzauberermitlilabademantel / @daydreamin1220 / @redpool / @bxdbxtxh15 / @vinceelsner / @watersofmars / @popsycles / @holysmokesblog / @madelineannmolder / @poisxnedmind / @lilithArtAndStuff

#harwin strong imagine #harwin strong x reader #hotd imagine #hotd fanfic

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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 3 months

Text

01/31/2024 Daily Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew Sightings; Watch Parties; OurFlagMeansDeadloch; LubeAsACrew; Stats; UK News; Upcoming Events; Other News; Favor To Ask; Love Notes; DailyDarby/Tonight's Taika

== Cast and Crew Sightings ==

Probably the cutest sighting would be Con O'Neill's dog Cooper

== How To Help ==

How to help docs have been updated with queerties and other stats!

How To Help Save OFMD Task List - US

How to Help Save OFMD Task List - Outside US

== Watch Parties ==

Today was Day 2, episodes 3 and 4 of Deadloch!

I realised I totally forgot to crew reactions up for Deadloch yesterday! Sorry all! Here's some from todays watch!

On to episodes 5/6 tomorrow! Same time same place!

== LubeAsACrew ==

The second Lube as a crew was widely successful! Trending at #7! Thanks for catching it @_irene_adler!

Everybody had a lot of fun with it, here's some highlights!

Our lovely friend over at @Astroglide left some fantastic tweets for us, I'm including a few that stood out.

== Stats ==

Some interesting stats today! Thank you @meowzawowza_ on twitter for these details!

More stats by @lucyrosebutler regarding How well OFMD is doing in the US!

== UK News ==

Reminder! 5 days until S2 airs in the UK!

Thanks as always to our lovely @lamentus1 for the update in the UK!

"I tweeted at 13 lucky TV Guide journalists in the UK all about Our Flag Means Death and the efforts of the fandom and also why the show is so great. I have a document with their twitters and email addresses. Email will be my next line of attack! If anyone wants access to the UK TV Guide press list let me know! We were thinking that we should introduce a spoiler free way for people who are starting to watch season 2 on the BBC to interact with the campaign on Twitter. I think it might be to encourage them to follow #OurFlagBBC while encouraging anyone posting spoilers under that hashtag to add #ofmd2spoilers so that people can avoid seeing spoilers. One other thing that’s coming up later in February is that Chxrlotte on our UK crew will be releasing an Our Flag Means Death inspired track on her label on 24 February! She has a ton of gorgeous tracks that are often inspired by shows like OFMD and Good Omens, and the new one is about Ed and Stede. I’ve had a preview of the new track and it’ll make you cry! @shutupchxrlotte's Twitter Her other stuff is on Apple Music and Spotify here"

Please have a listen!

== Upcoming Events ==

#StewAsACrew

Reminder! Feb 4th is National Homemade Soup Day! More deets! Be sure to share your soup/stew pics with these hashtags:

#StewAsACrew

#SaveOFMD

#AdoptOurCrew

Not a soup bitch but still want to help?

You can politely menace: @CambellSoupCo and @CampbellsChunky with our petition hashtags!

==New Watch Party!==

Muppet Treasure Island - Feb 7th 2024

4PM EST, 1PM PST, 9 PM GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#MuppetPirates

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

== Other News ==

Warner bros stock is still dropping! Sure looks like cancelling OFMD wasn't a very lucrative plan. Thanks @iamadequate_ for this!

Max still has billboards up for OFMD in Hollywood! Thanks @LeanneBrodie13 for catching this!

Also, @_irene_adler caught some audacity from Max in trying to monetize OFMD merch for Valentine's Day.

== Favor to Ask ==

I've been working on a bit of a side project of putting together an OFMD Renewal Repository for resources that doesn't require anyone to log into ... twitter, IG, tumblr, facebook, etc. It's still WIP but I'd love some constructive feedback if anyone would be willing to take a look and let me know what they think. I won't be replacing the tumblr recaps with it, but will be posting them there minus the gifs at the end so they can be shared to other platforms if needed.

My specific questions are:

Are there more categories / different information you'd like to have added?

Is it generally easy to find information?

Is this a bad idea? (too many places with this stuff already?)

Other feedback welcome!

I am totally cool with constructive feedback, feel free to dm me :)

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. Do you ever worry you're too much? Like you talk too much, or feel too much, or come off too strong? I know I do some days.

Just remember, on days you're feeling too much, you're probably shining your brightest. What other people think is too much is just you, and you're allowed to shine! Don't ever let their inability to see your worth stop you. Saw this on IG today and thought of you call. Gnight crew, all the love <3

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

These gifs go together, I don't make the rules.

#daily ofmd recap #ofmd daily recap #ofmd daily recaps #ofmd #our flag means death #gentlebeard #save ofmd #rhys darby #blackbonnet #save our flag means death #adopt our crew #saveourflag

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seaofrabbit · 7 months

Text

love beyond your ship

i’m gonna need you Only Friends watchers to THINK for a second outside of your ship-minded brain.

despite however you feel about sand being the better fit for ray or you thinking that ray actually like sand, it is NOT like that for him. this man wanted mew for years, he made that clear several times. did yall think he’s not gonna jump at the first opportunity to be with the man he wants more than anything?

SAND is FLING he knew for MONTHS.

MEW has been his OBSESSION for YEARS.

“but what about those times he spent with sand? did it not mean anything?” of course it did, AS A DISTRACTION.

at the time, sand is someone that’s available to take his mind of mew. and now that he finally gets the chance to be with the one his heart desired most, why would he be thinking about sand? ray knew he’s a rebound, he knew that and he still went for it.

Only Friends has shown that a lot of yall are more ship-minded than you’d like to admit. a relationship exist beyond your ship and yall started branding it as “not real/he’s not really in love with him”. believe it or not, you can fall in love with multiple people throughout your life.

also, i need yall to re-watch this last scene from ray’s perspective; this is probably THE happiest he has ever feel. he finally gets to be with the one person he wanted most.

maybe one day (in the next episode as we have seen from the previews), he will slowly realise his feelings for sand. but now (at least) for ray, that love is reserve for mew.

#only friends the series #topmew #sandray #raymew #forcebook #firstkhao #khaobook #ofts #gmmtv #love exist beyond your ship whether you like it or not #only friends is not a bl show; it’s a GAY show

160 notes · View notes

juliemolinaz · 2 months

Text

While I wish Ha-neul and Jeong-woo would have talked things out, I'm not that upset about them breaking up, especially since it's only episode 8 and they just started dating.

Ha-neul and Jeong-woo are two incredibly self-sacrificing characters in that they will stuff down their emotions and their problems if it won't upset someone else. We've seen Jeong-woo do that with Ha-neul and now we're seeing Ha-neul do that with Jeong-woo. When Ha-neul was struggling, Jeong-woo pretended that everything was fine because he was focused on supporting Ha-neul and letting her deal with her issues. At some point, his struggles became too much, so Ha-neul knew about what was going on and she focused on him and his case. Because she was so focused on helping him, her problems weren't as difficult to manage. But now that Jeong-woo's problems were seemingly solved, Ha-neul's struggles came out again. Things were going well for her and her long-rooted fear of being happy came out in full force, especially when she heard that Jeong-woo was offered a job and he turned it down because of Ha-neul. Because she thinks he's finally happy again and she's still depressed and broken, she broke up with him to avoid bringing him back down. She also hasn't told him about Kyung-min because she doesn't want to ruin their friendship.

It seems like the next step in Ha-neul and Jeong-woo's healing journey is for the both of them to be vulnerable and honest about their struggles at the same time without worrying about bringing the other person down. As much as Ha-neul might think that Jeong-woo's issues are over, the court case wasn't the only thing affecting Jeong-woo's mental health. He still watched a patient die a pretty traumatic death when he was operating on her and from the preview, it looks like he's going to get pretty triggered at his new job in the next episode. Jeong-woo is going to need someone to talk to even though I could see him not wanting to tell her because she's struggling. And Ha-neul is obviously struggling with what Kyung-min did to her and she's going to need someone to talk to about it even if that means Jeong-woo's friendship with Kyung-min is ruined.

#doctor slump

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pink-onyx-au · 8 months

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[Jump to the Episode Master List]

Nap time! Thank you everyone for your continued support and interaction! I adore it and it adds so much more to the AU than you could know. This is a heads up on some minor down-time for the blog while I rest up and prepare the next episode.

Notes and asks are still open and encouraged during this time! Bored and want to chat? Send me a message!

To see some WIP, storyboard previews, doodles, shitposts, and other projects I’m working on, along with a healthy amount of 3am memes, head over to my trash fire blog, Ceephor’s Shit Show. The "pink onyx au" tag will filter everything for you, along with showing you fabulous fan art made by others that I just love to pieces.

Speculation and theories are encouraged! The comic is designed as close to the show’s logic as I could muster, which means many secrets are staring right at you, provided you know what to look for! Just be kind to one another.

Comic FAQ:

What is this? Pink Onyx AU is a Steven Universe AU focused on interactions between Steven and Jasper and is intended to be read after you have finished Steven Universe Future, as it contains many many spoilers for the series. If you have watched it already, great! Welcome! The goal is to bring you a Jasper redemption arc that we couldn’t get due to time and cooperate restraints on the Crewniverse. I hope you enjoy!

I do not own these characters or their likenesses except for the single fluffy thembo fusion I created for the story. This is just a fan comic.

Comic is PG-13 for some angsty themes, minor blood, violence, and gem-cussing.

When do you post? Typically when you see this post pinned, I’m on a bit of a break, but when Nyx wakes up (this post goes away) the comic is due to be released 1 page at a time at 7am EST most days. I try for a daily release. Sometimes I skip a day if I’m behind. Episode release dates are always announced ahead of time by a few weeks.

Is this a romantic ship AU between Jasper and Steven? Nope, more like an aunt and her nephew trying to figure it all out. No romance between these two here.

Is your Tapas updated at the same time? Nope, tumblr comes first, and the tumblr will always have bonus content which Tapas will not. The Tapas for this updates after the tumblr version is completed. Usually same day or within a day.

Curious about the characters? Check below the cut for more a detailed FAQ about the inner workings of the story. Love you all! See you soon! 🧡💕❤️

FAQ’s about the characters generated via interactive asks:

What kind of fusion is Pink Onyx? Are they good or bad? Pink Onyx is a fusion of a protagonist and an antagonist, so their alliance is yet unknown, but they have Steven’s good heart and Jasper’s loyal nature. They also have Steven and Jasper’s flaws, so they can be volatile and emotionally explosive at times, too.

What are Pink Onyx’s pronouns? Onyx likes they/them, but also answers to he/him and she/her, especially when Steven or Jasper is dominant over one another. They also seem to take on a fluid role and prefer a she/her when in a caretaker status. They dislike it/its.

What does Pink Onyx sound like? Personally, I hear them as a youthful, masculine tone. Like Steven if a little older. But I also enjoy when people say they hear them as a gruff, Amazonian-type feminine. I enjoy and endorse both.

Do Jasper and Steven enjoy being fused to one another? For now, it is a struggle, but they enjoy what the other brings to the fusion even if they won’t say it.

Does Pink Onyx need to eat and do human things? If so, do they enjoy it? They don’t need to do them, but they do feel the discomfort without them. Things like breathing, eating, and sleeping are optional for Onyx, but they will become quite irritable if not allowed to do them. They greatly enjoy sleeping and trying new foods.

What does Jasper think about having human organs when fused? She’s pretty grossed out by the idea of organic matter going into her mouth and coming out of other places. The heart beating and lungs breathing she can feel for the first time, and it is highly strange for her to experience.

What is Pink Onyx’s favorite food? They adore anything watermelon flavored and Cookie-cat ice cream products

Does Pink Onyx have any special fusion powers? They do, and as they learn about themselves, more powers seem to come out. Each of their base component appears to be enhanced in a unique way. They have Pink Diamond at their core, so the destructive potential is also there.

Why is Steven hiding Pink Onyx from others? This AU occurs directly after the events of "I Am My Monster", so Steven is very emotionally, and mentally, raw. He fears judgement for running back to Jasper, who in the past, was part of so much trauma he already endured.

Pink Onyx seems to know nothing about human culture and gem culture despite being a fusion. What’s going on? Jasper and Steven agreed to fuse, but they have yet to open up to one another about much else. The fusion exists because they agree to do so, but Jasper won’t open up about her emotions, and Steven is so sensitive yet that he is not sharing because he knows Jasper won’t want to hear it. This causes Onyx to be unable to access both of their memories easily, but they can bring it out with enough effort.

#pink onyx au #steven universe au #steven universe #steven universe future #c423art #ceephorart #pink onyx #fusion #jasper #steven #Nyx nap #faq

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direese · 4 months

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Percy's acts and perceptions of Loyalty

So I am watching the show and I KNOW Percy's fatal flaw is loyalty and I am just eating up (and writing down) all of the subtle hints to that as the episodes come out.

- Sure he's mad at Poseidon for neglecting him, but he is TWICE as pissed at Poseidon for abandoning Sally. "I don't care if he ignores me, but he can't just ignore you" and "Im gonna make him see us both"

- "You are Poseidon's son" "I'm Sally Jackson's son!"

- Percy wasn't going to accept the quest to the underworld UNTIL he heard about his mom. He ain't going for the gods. He's going for SALLY

- His absolute LACK of hesitation when picking Anabeth for the mission. Like I know it's cause he thinks they can't be friends but i also think it's cause she actually did help him at camp (in her own weird Anabeth way) and he respects that.

- The way he trusts Grover above everything, even despite what the Oracle said (I know the "friend" is Luke. But still.)

- in an odd, but similar vein he clocked Luke and Anabeth and said that he DIDN'T choose Luke because he thinks that Luke would be too Loyal to Anabeth and if she decided to stop Percy from his quest he thinks Luke would have helped her

-when he was arguing with Anabeth he told her to stop bringing Grover into this because "he's on my side. He's my protector"

- he trusts his mom's stories, which lead him to trusting Medusa.

- He was defending Anabeth when Medusa was bad mouthing her in the kitchen despite thinking they could never be friends

- Medusa ALMOST had Percy on her side by playing to his affection for Sally, but the MOMENT she suggested that he should betray Anabeth and Grover and insinuated that they would betray him he was like "Aight, gotta go"

- Percy understand the importance of motherly connection and immediately dropping the idea of burying the hat because it's important to Anabeth and then giving it back to her when he shipped the head

- "Medusa said she'd help me find my mom if I betrayed the the two of you" "and what did you say?" "I cut off her head"

- in the preview of the next episode he's seen moving Anabeth and Grover to safety before what looks like attempting to 1v1 the chimera.

I'm so normal about this. The perfectly normal neurotypical act of writing down every scrap of what I think is foreshadowing shall continue as more episodes come out.

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #anabeth chase #grover underwood #sally jackson #percy jackson disney+

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 4 months

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Time the Series - Episode 1

Another time traveling show. This time by expectations are basically on the floor.

So before I say anything here's the official synopsis: Foam, a famous actor, saw Chris, the lover, killed in front of him by the police. But fate gives Foam a chance to go back and correct the past for what he did wrong, causing Chris's death. When a mysterious man gives a clock that can travel back in time to Foam, will Foam be able to fix the past and save a lover's life? Only time will prove it! MDL You can watch it on YT, Gaga. Uncut on WeTV.

I watch the cut version, if anyone watches the full version please let me know what I missed. Not that I'm all that invested but still. This is basically a "I watched it so you don't have to" type of review so obviously, all spoilers from here on. Skip to the end for my short review.

We begin with a police chase that ends with Chris being caught but then there's a sniper and he gets shot. Very exciting already.

Cut to Foam waking up in bed and promptly pouring himself red wine while he cries and reflects on his lost love. Warning for singing and guitar playing in flashback.

The next day he's passed out and won't answer his phone and everyone is very upset, cause he's an actor and there's a lot of people waiting for him to shoot a commercial. There's already a war of managers happening btw. The one in pink is Foam's manager, the other one wants to be his manager. I'll be calling her the bad manager from here on for reasons which will become obvious.

So eventually he arrives and they shoot a commercial for some skin product that is amazing for the skin if we believe the people that show up to help Foam with his lines, cause the boy is struggling.

And apparently it's his birthday and he makes the weirdest call to his mum to ask her to wish happy birthday and the subs have the mom saying "Hello, dear" but there's actually no sound from the other side of the conversation. Amazing.

After this the drama really begins. And I mean there's so much happening and none of it is good.

So really quickly: - Birthday party where Foam is the DJ and there is some really bad dance acting happening. - The bad manager drugs Foam and assaults him and is interrupted by the good manager. - The two managers insult each other in front of passed out Foam and a physical fight ensues. Slap, screaming, slap, insult, slap, begging, more slapping. This is all very dramatic btw, almost lakorn level dramatic. Glass on the floor, bad manager picks it up and stabs the good manager. - Bad manager's bodyguards take her and Foam wakes up with the bloody glass shard on his hand.

Panic sets in, everyone comes and for some reason some dude is filming this whole thing. And we get our second police chase of the episode. This time Foam is the one doing the running.

Foam hides in a dark ally where he meets a stranger with a shining pink necklace that invites him to his place and of course he goes, because why not?

Then he recognizes the necklace/watch because he gave his boyfriend one that looks exactly like it. And then this:

Guy in alley - gives Foam pink shiny watch - dead boyfriend appears.

They immediately jump each other, as you do when all of a sudden your dead boyfriend is in front of you again, and Foam wakes up thinking it was all a dream. But was it? I have no idea.

Foam wakes up, hits himself, hurts himself and wonders why he's in his old apartment. He goes outside and it's five years before Chris died. The end.

So... to recap. I don't even know what to say. This is from MFlow, the same company that brought us the mess that was Beyond The Star so my expectations were really low.

With that said, I can't in good conscience tell any of you to watch this. It's not good. From the previews it seems Foam is going to meet Chris all over again except he won't remember him. Fun times all over again. I'll be honest. I probably won't be watching this, but come next tuesday if I have nothing better to do I might check it out. Depends how much I remember the experience and how curious I get about how they will deal with the time traveling. I obviously have not learned my lesson.

If anyone watches it please let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading.💜

#time the series #thai bl #bl drama #rose rambles

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thecrownnetflixuk · 5 months

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Fond Farewells Mark the End of an Era for The Crown.

Pt 2 of Season 6 Accedes to the Next Generation – But Reigns Most Triumphant Saluting Its Sovereign.

Review & gifs by L.L @The Crown TV

I wasn't sure what to expect from the final 6 preview episodes of The Crown. Part 1 gifted us with a season-defining performance from Elizabeth Debicki, but such intense focus on the tragedy of Diana and Dodi's deaths was heavy-going. How to move forward?

Not many TV shows stick the landing, but I believe The Crown does, mostly by putting Queen Elizabeth front and centre. In four different ways! But Part 2 takes a while to forge ahead and reign triumphant.

Ed McVey and Meg Bellamy make shy William and swotty Kate believable as a young couple who meet at university – or earlier, as per a flashback with (not Ghost!) Diana. I still found it hard to invest in their will-they-won't-they relationship (we already know they do.)

Instead, it’s sisters Elizabeth and Margaret who have long been the emotional heart of this show; at every stage of their lives.

Former Oscar-nominee Lesley Manville (alongside Queen Imelda Staunton) is truly magnificent in Ep 8 as Princess Margaret, though it's painful watching this vibrant lady struggle as her health worsens.

Memories of the 1940's are a delight. However, I wish we'd seen more of wide-eyed teen Lilibet let loose (Viola Prettejohn) and carefree Marg (Beau Gadsdon) before older Margaret says her final goodbye.

Staunton saves her best for last, bringing dry humour, vulnerability as well as leadership to Ep 10. The 70+ min epic finale 'Sleep, Dearie Sleep' has its shaky moments, but beautifully completes Queen Elizabeth's story when it counts, bringing near-perfect closure. That alone elevates Season 6 beyond Season 5.

Warning - MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. This is my final *EVER* review (might be extra long!)

S6 is NOW ON NETFLIX - WATCH THE EPISODES before reading.

Images: courtesy of Netflix

Starting with less good news; the first couple of episodes of Part 2 were my least favourite. Ep 5, 'Willsmania', feels transitional, and a little stuck in the past. Following his mother's death, Prince William (Ed McVey; taking over from younger actor Rufus Kampa) turns inward as he struggles to cope with public attention and grief.

It's an understandable reaction to losing a parent, but Part 1 already spent nearly half a season on Dodi and Diana. It felt like we grieved in real time. As a result, whenever the subject of Diana crops up again in Part 2, it tends to weigh down both pace and narrative.

Ep 6 brings a welcome change of topic. This being The Crown, I'm sure there are critics poised to be offended by Queen Elizabeth's nightmare about Prime Minister Tony Blair being crowned king, but to me, his 'coronation' was hilarious, as was the choir boy singing Blair's cheesy Labour pop anthem.

It felt like deliberate tongue-in-cheek humour, an absurd reminder why monarchy might still be better than populist elected leaders.

I really wanted this episode to work, but it didn't go anywhere, and themes like tradition-vs-modernity were covered more effectively in episodes such as 'Marionettes.' Bertie Carvel has Tony Blair's voice down but suffers from comparisons with Michael Sheen, who was uncanny as the Prime Minister in 3 earlier Peter Morgan projects.

^ PM Tony Blair. The Women's Institute weren't fans of his grandstanding.

The Crown: The Next Generation fully arrives during Ep's 7, 9 & 10. Some will love it. Those who prefer more historical episodes with broader scope may be disappointed, as the show follows William and Kate through University life in the early 2000's.

The newcomers do bring fresh energy to the show. It helps that they cast Ed McVey and Meg Bellamy, who make a sweet couple as Will and Kate, even if William sometimes comes across as petulant.

Unlike Ed McVey as William, Luther Ford doesn't bear much physical resemblance to Prince Harry, other than red hair. Ford does however put in a good performance as Harry becomes increasingly reckless.

The Crown doesn't hide either Harry or William's bad behaviour. The brothers seem to get on well at the start, but it later seems like they're more at odds. Underneath a lot – a LOT – of boozing, both boys appear quietly screwed-up over their mother's death. Neither of them seem to enjoy playing happy families with Charles, either.

The show mostly concentrates on William and Kate, but there aren't many episodes left to develop a genuine romance. They have potential, but it feels fairly surface level. Suddenly, they rush to move into a house share together when we've barely seen them kiss. They (and we) needed more screen time to really get to know each other.

There's a bigger issue here with Kate's mother, Carole Middleton (Eve Best.) Pushy parent Carole is keen to play matchmaker between her 'commoner' daughter and the young eligible Prince, keeping tabs on William. Carole isn't as conniving, but ... didn't we just watch a similar storyline with Mohamed Al-Fayed/Dodi/Diana in Part 1?

^ Kate 'n' Will. Her Mum would frame this picture.

Ep 8 'Ritz' plays like a standalone film. Margaret's final story is touching, but upsetting, at times; I was a fan of Diana, yet sobbed as much for Margaret as the credits rolled, even though her eventual death isn't shown. In fact, her final goodbye is sensitively done and stands as a fitting tribute to the princess, as well as to the Queen.

Lesley Manville makes Margaret's predicament so real as her health slowly breaks down. She bounces back from one stroke, then another hits. How awful too for Elizabeth to watch a much-loved sister deteriorate, though it was wonderful to see Lilibet read Margaret a bedtime story. It brought out the warmer side of Staunton's Queen.

The scene where Margaret scalds her feet in the bath is genuinely horrifying. I've suffered from ill health and loss of control myself and this was so much worse. I could feel her pain. That poor woman.

Human moments are where The Crown excels; through this episode, this working-class lass from a council house could somehow relate to a Princess in a palace. Peter Morgan has surely done more to humanise the royal family than any P.R team ever could.

^ Fans of Margaret (and Lesley Manville) prepare yourselves for her sad final journey.

Onto the big reveal: when I mentioned at the start there are FOUR ways Queen Elizabeth appears – this is what I meant:-

^ Newcomer Viola Prettejohn plays teenage Princess Elizabeth.

^ & there's Olivia Colman & Claire Foy alongside older Queen Imelda Staunton.

Satisfyingly, all 3 of The Crown's leading ladies return to close the show. Olivia Colman and Claire Foy each have an additional scene, too (I won't spoil the entire finale, as it covers a lot of ground in over 70 mins, but Olivia and Claire aren't back as 'ghosts.')

As we get older, the ghosts who speak loudest are our own; the former versions of us we berate ourselves with. Not everyone may warm to the Queen (sort of) talking to herself, but personally, I was thrilled to see these talented actors on screen together.

Foy's scene with Staunton is particularly effective, as the younger Queen gives her older self an old-fashioned dutiful talking to. It's somehow also credible that they're aspects of the same person.

It reminded me of Peter Morgan’s 2013 (extraordinary) play, ‘The Audience', which inspired this series, and included scenes where Helen Mirren shared the stage with young Elizabeth. That play is also why this theatre-fan started watching The Crown to begin with, and later went on to create this website.

When Ep 10 finished playing, my Netflix returned itself to Season 1. 60 episodes over 7 years! I will miss the grand scale of The Crown, but appreciate the legacy which remains. Now feels like the right time for this story to end. A full-circle moment in more ways than one.

**Majestic thanks for reading, and to every person who has liked, reblogged, messaged, supported The Crown TV for all these years.

💎♕You each deserve a Crown of your own!♕💎**

N.B: These are my humble opinions at this point in time. No offence is intended. Agreement = lovely; not compulsory. Disagreement = happens; kindly coexist. Ta!

#the crown #queen elizabeth ii #imelda staunton #princess margaret #lesley manville #tony blair #bertie carvel #william and kate #ed mcvey #meg bellamy #viola prettejohn #claire foy #olivia colman #reviews #articles #season 6 #pt 2 #gifs #the crown spoilers

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thewayuarent · 7 months

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About choices

And about Sand’s choices mostly

(there are spoilers to the next episode in here if you try to avoid them)

I found myself using the word pathetic to describe literally any character in this show by that point and while I do it ironically I think it doesn’t fit for me anymore. I’m also way far to be the only one using it especially when discussion is about Sand.

And the thing is - I don’t think he’s pathetic about Ray. I also think after this episode that I’m actually really proud of him. And while I have that very uneasy feeling every time I watch Sand yielding to Ray - I work hard to find my peace with it and be fine with that.

Because he’s making his choice and it’s not my place to judge him for that. Because I don’t want to do with Sand the same exact thing Top and Cheum do with Mew - questioning his life choices and blame them on Ray. Because Sand is an adult and he has a right to make his own decisions.

This episode is actually the first time I see Sand being honest about his feelings with Ray. This scene right here - is about Sand admitting his feelings.

Maybe he doesn’t say it as it is, he still uses sarcasm cause of course he would - but he also clearly hurt and he doesn’t hide it away as usual. This is also the moment I believe Ray realizes for the first time that he means something for Sand.

And after that conversation, after him not responding to messages and staying his ground, the next thing is he’s being smitten with Ray again.

And it’s so fucking understandable. He’s not pathetic. He’s just in love. And he allows himself that moment of weakness just because he wants to spend this time or more time with Ray. Simple as that.

And after that absolutely gross terrible shit Ray has an audacity to tell in his face - Sand is still here.

And it’s not only about him helping Ray with cops. Cause this one understandable as hell at least for me. Police brutality is not a fun thing to experience at all (I experienced it ones after anti-war protest and I live in Russia so I know that shit). And no matter how angry I am at someone I won’t let them get through it alone, I will help them in situation like this absolutely. And I would definitely not let an addict with severe mental illness get to a fucking jail, are you kidding me? Even Top was like nope and he hates Ray.

Even if we all know that this is way more dangerous for Sand, cause Ray has money while Sand doesn't. Even if I think the right choice for Sand would be thinking about himself not Ray here just for a reason of being save - I would do the same thing. I spend one night in jail as a queer person and I still have a PTSD 1,5 year later. I know it was an impulse from Sand I know it's fucking dangerous and he's risking everything. I know it's stupid thing to do - and still I do not judge him for that.

But this is also about the next week preview. This is about Sand forgiving Ray once more. Giving him another chance. And the answer to the question “How will they end up like this after that disaster of a party?” - well, it’s because that what Sand wants. (And Ray also wants it obviously but we’re not asking him here, he’s sitting in a corner thinking about his behavior)

And the important thing here is - Ray is not the only one Sand gives this chance to. He gives it to himself also. And this is about him as much as about Ray. Because Sand was hurt before. And he closed up after that. And he only now allows himself to be honest with Ray for the first time. It not even as much in this conversation

- cause he’s probably doesn’t have the best control of his emotions so it can be unintentionally.

It’s this one we haven’t seen yet.

He lets himself be honest. And that means he gets himself an opportunity to feel and maybe to be happy but also to be hurt again. And this is a good thing, actually.

Because this is how life works. You can either choose to guard yourself or risk it without knowing for sure where it brings you.

And maybe it won’t last long. Maybe it’s only for a brief moment when they physically move themselves away from the reality - but it does count. And those moments? They matter as much as bad ones.

I personally do believe they are eventually doomed by narrative - and not because of love triangle or Ray's addiction, but because of the clear power imbalance this relationship build on. But while it's my personal belief, it's clearly not Sand's, at least in the moment. And it's his right to allow himself this chance - himself, not Ray.

Sand does deserve better. Yes, absolutely. He deserves to be loved and respected (you hear me Ray? I said respected) and not played around. People say it all over again and I’m definitely one of them. But the reality is, love is not only about what we deserve. And it’s not even only about what we feel. It’s about what we choose. And why it’s not for everyone to understand why Sand chooses Ray, it’s not our place to judge. It’s his choice. So if that what he wants I will support him.

The only boundary Sand semi-successfully holds is not being the second choice. He doesn’t let Ray do that to him - and it seems like he won’t in a future. And this is important cause it shows that Sand doesn’t completely betray who he is for Ray.

For all the other things - Ray saying (every time while being wasted as hell) things that probably for many people unforgivable - and I do respect that - well, Sand forgives him. And it doesn’t make him weak or stupid. It makes him who he is.

I was there before more than I would like to. My father is an alcoholic and sometimes when he’s drunk he says terrible things. It’s complicated cause he never allows himself this when he’s sober. And I know that alcohol doesn’t makes him different person, it’s still him. But I also know that condition brings worst in him. Things he actively fights all the time but that are still there. And when he’s sober - sometimes he apologizes. Sometimes he doesn’t remember. I choose to forgive him every time - not only for him but for myself. Does it makes me weak? I don’t think so.

Ray’s addiction is not his whole personality, but it’s a big part of who he is and it explains - not excuses - a lot about how he behaves. And being with addicted person is hard and exhausting and it’s not for everyone. It’s a personal choice - there’s no right or wrong here. Sand makes his.

Love is always about choice. And it’s not only about Sand, actually. It’s about all of them.

Mew doesn’t deserve being cheated on but it’s his choice to forgive Top or not, not ours. And my bet he will.

Top and Boston don’t deserve their sex being recorded and released but it’s up to them if they forgive anyones involved. And my bet they will. Top already running after Mew and Boston continues to add himself in this friend group, so they are already partially there.

Ray doesn’t deserve being dragged around by Mew to be his revenge supply, but it’s his choice to play along. And yes, he’s not that stupid, he clearly knows Mew’s reasoning.

Nick doesn’t deserve being betrayed by Sand, but he made a choice to forgive him and stay friends with him and trust him again anyway.

And this list is endless, this is just some examples. They all do messed up stuff to each other, hurt each other and then move on. They could honestly stop any relationship any character has with others but they all are still here. They won't be forever, probably, but for now, yes, and it's their rigth. This is how we’re growing up.

Sand knows exactly how Ray is. He’s not deceived about it. He sees Ray for what Ray is - all good and bad and charming and struggling parts of his personality. He actually always knew and he falls for Ray being himself not some pretty image of him. He knows Ray is far from perfect. He knows Ray doesn't respect him - he was there being called a whore and again with this stupid possesive rant. He was hurt by Ray way more than once.

And he perfectly rigth saying they have nothing in common - they are from different worlds and they always will.

But he's wrong about it at the same time. Cause it’s music, and also parental issues, and the ability to have fun with each other. It’s also Ray saying he’s in his happiest with Sand

which is absolutely mutual in their good moments. It’s about freedom they find in each other - Ray from his pain and Sand from his exhausting daily routine. It’s also about their shared need to be needed. It's not enough for stable relationship cause their differences are way bigger, but that's enough for him to be willing to give it a try.

Their bond is not healthy or romantic but it still deserves a chance to be. And I love how this show never tries to romanticize any of it. It’s always a complex mix of feelings because they are in wrongs so many times and every time you feel like it’s enough but this moment is still not here. And one minute they are broken but the next they are happy and then broken again and this is how life works.

They are so, so young and it’s not only about age (cause I’m not that much older than them but honestly I remember myself in 22 and I was a whole different person) but also about the amount of experience they have in their lives. About the dynamics they have and patterns they are stuck in. And this is always about getting this new experience and it’s not pleasant all the time but there are still moments when it is.

As for Sand - he’ll be alright. He is alright honestly. He’s not fooling himself into believing that his love will “fix” Ray. He’s just there both for Ray and for himself. And about what Sand deserves? He deserves exactly that, because that is what he wants. He deserves it for the sake of learning and feeling and growing up thanks to that experience.

He doesn’t need to be saved from Ray simply because he made his choice. Because it's not about Sand patheticly falling for Ray's needs.

It's about Sand meeting his own.

And while it not necessary to agree with him, or understand him, it's at least worth an acceptence.

#only friends meta #ofts #only friends the series #only friends #sandray #only friends sand

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