#that not eating isnt being mindful. that i need to eat to exercise and be physically strong

[lepidopterium]

+.

#ed ment in tags #triggering tags ahead -> #***************************that should do it #i keep telling myself im too smart for an ED as if ppl with EDs wouldn't be sick if they knew better #i tell myself that dieting is evil and that this is a product of capitalism #that food is a gift that i need to be grateful for and that i can get joy out of food if i try #i remind myself of how bad i flare up when i dont properly eat #and that the body is a time capsule. it changes and reflects what im going through. its normal #that not eating isnt being mindful. that i need to eat to exercise and be physically strong #and to maintain my mental clarity and emotional well being #and that im being vain by fretting over my appearance so much #that an ed isnt self control. its a loss of control to destructive thoughts and anxiety #and yet im still struggling. im still one step away from throwing the money i dont have into makeup to make myself look perfect #i want to be perfect. healthy and unblemished and sophisticated and kind and intelligent #and that way I'll be loved for real. i wont have to ask or beg bc I'll always feel loved without doing a thing myself #but i know thats all a lie. i know im already loved even if those who love me dont show it enough (for me) #i know i can live a life outside of extremes and that this anxiety doesnt own me #which is why i think im too smart for an ed. but thats not how it works #i went out everyday of the week doing physically strenuous things till i could barely walk and i felt like god #i don't know if im eating enough. i think somedays i do other days i dont #im trying to familiarize myself with what groceries we have so i can start making food for myself #if i can make enough food while my mom is asleep ill be set for the day. but how do i maintain that. ugh #its so many things messing with my ability to eat #but it mostly feels manageable. except when i look at the mirror or the scale. ive never weighed this much before #suddenly theres more of me than i know how to handle

[yearofthediamond-dogs]

I'm christian now

#THE FINE LINE BETWEEN KNOWLEDGE OF MANIFESTING AND AWARENESS OF THE PRESENCE OF UNHINGED FUCKED UP UNFORTUNATE GENETICS #CURRENTLY I BELIEVE IF I THINK ABOUT IT GETS STRONGER. JANKY OUTPUT. CREATING MY OWN DEMISE #THIS SUCKS FUCKING ASS AND I ALSO HAVE APHANTASIA PRETTY MUCH SO I CAN'T COVER UP THE PATTERNS AND DISTORTED IMAGES OF EVERYTHING I DONT #WANT TO SEE BUT THEY'RE THERE AND FRACTALISED. SOMETIMES I CAN SEE IMAGES SO DISTANT AND BLURRY AND TRANSPARENT OVER THE BLACK BUT RN THEY #JUST DISSOLVE AND THE WEIRD SHIT TAKES OVER #I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE WHAT FEELS LIKE A 1/4 LOADED EGO DEATH #NOT THAT I'D MIND BUT I'D LIKE TO KEEP MY MEMORIES AND PERSONALITY THANKS #ANYWAY I NEED TO EXERCISE AND EAT FOOD AND STAY AWAY FROM THE VICES AND ENGAGE IN ANYTHING BUT THE DEGENARATE TIME-LEECH THAT IS COMPLACENCY #MOTHERFUCKER #NOT EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN PATTERN OR SIGN AND YOU NEED TO ABANDON THIS PRETENTIOUS HUBRIS THAT THE ALL IS SOMETHING YOU CAN PUT LABELS ON #DIVINATION IS REAL THOUGH #AGAIN THIS FINE LINE #MAYBE I NEED A NEW HOBBY #NOT EVERYTHING IS A FUCKING SYNCHRONICITY. SOMETIMES EVENTS JUST HAPPEN. I MUST BECOME AWARE THAT I HAVE BEEN DESPARATLEY SEEKING SIGNS THAT #I AM CAPABLE OF CLIMBING OUT OF THE GODDAM PIT IVE BEEN IN FOR UNIRONICALLY MOST OF MY LIFE #AND SHIT IS REACHING A TIPPING POINT AND I ALSO JUST HAVE A GLITCHED IMAGE GENERATING SYSTEM AND THE HORRORS ARE ONLY BEING INTERPRETED #AS THE BEGINNING OF SCHIZOPHRENIA BC IM AFRAID OF IT. AND IM SEARCHING FOR AND SEEING PATTERNS IN EVERYTHING BECAUSE I WANT TO ANALYSE EVERY #SINGLE ATOM OF MYSELF AND MY SURROUNDINGS TO SEE IF I CAN FIGURE OUT JUST WHAT IT IS THAT I'M EXPERIENCING #ALSO ANTIPSYCOTIC MEDS NOW LIKE RN JUST IN CASE #THE RINGING IN YOUR EARS ISNT ANYTHING ITS JUST RINGING #NOT EVERYTHING IS A PATTERN AND EVENTS CAN JUST HAPPEN #AAAAHHH

[purplestars222]

Hazbin hotel headcannons!!!!

just general stuff i think the characters do!!

(radiodust, staticmoth, vees are poly, chaggie, pentniss, little bit of radioapple if you squint, also one sided huskerdust/angeldusk)

characters: Alastor, angeldust, lucifer, charlie, vaggie, husk, sir pentious, arackniss, baxter, niftyz cherri bomb, the vees.

cw: nsfw!!! valentino

Minors do not interact.

definitely vapes. since he has to stay sober, i think he would vape to take the edge off a bit :)

Angeldust

in an attempt to get alastor to actually like him, he lays off the flirting a little, and cooks for him from time to time, he mainly just makes different pastas

He teaches alastor italian, and alastor teaches him french

Hates arackniss most of the time, but loves teasing him about being a bottom with pentious (hes a switch)

Alastor

he cooks for others to show he cares

i dont think he'd be a fan of imps ir hellhounds, idk why i just get that feeling

HE IS STINKY.

hes curious about arackniss because hes the opposite of angel, so they have drinks together sometimes- alastor always asks questions about angel

he doesn't believe that he likes angel at first, but angel starts letting his walls down, and alastor realises hes actually an interesting individual!

Charlie

she just wants her dads to get along!

she ok puts together trust exercises specifically for alastor and lucifer to get closer but it drives them apart

She loves taking care of vaggie, it makes her feel useful. Whenever vaggie isnt feeling well, she only lets her leave bed when necessary. She gets everything she needs.

Lucifer

hes a switch but prefers to bottom, lillith 100% pegs him.

Cooks breakfast at the hotel on weekends for the main guys- alastor started helping too out of spite, trying to make his food taste better.

Always does things to prove hes better than alastor, hes mainly just trying to get als attention but he pays him no mind.

Vaggie

If anyone looks at charlie the wrong way or touches her without consent she goes fucking beserk. If she ever finds out about what valentino did, she'll kill him herself.

Husk

has a pretty close relationship with lucifer! they play board games together and lucifer sometimes vents to her

they shit talk alastor together

vaggie vents to him aswell

him and angel watch movies together sometimes and cuddle! alastor does not approve, but him and angel arent together so he cant really do anything, because it makes angel happy.

Sir pentious

He loves angels chest fluff and sometimes purrs into it when they're cuddling. angel teases him for it, but in a cute way

he practises magic tricks with angel when they're having a movie night.

him and angel sometimes fuck, for angel is just sex with a close friend but husk really likes him, husk just knows alastor likes angel too and he does NOT wanna fuck with alastor.

when angel and alastor get together he hides away in his room for a few days, he only tells charlie what happened

Autistic. Most autistic guy in the show (until we get baxter at least)

Doesn't understand why niss doesn't say hes only half a bottom when angel teases him about it

when angel asks about his sex life with niss (as a joke) his whole face turns red and he screams "Itss none of your businessss!!" and slithers off as fast as he can, angel thinks its fucking hilarious to get him flustered

Nifty

Proudest dad of his egg bois, he sometimes makes little outfits for them and they out on mini plays for him and arackniss about very random stuff, they can never tell if the plays are based on true events or not.

he has a giant heat lamp in his room, he lays under it and reads

She plays with dead bugs, her favourite thing is playing with corpses of dead bugs in front of other bugs

She has a pink bed and her room is always spotless

she loves alastors cooking, she refuses to eat lucifers food if alastor has cooked something too

straight, during pride she puts an excessive amount of pride flags everywhere, every different type too, the hotel is covered in them.

Arackniss

him and angel tease each other alot. arackniss mainly teases him for being in love with a red deer.

he confesses first to pentious, and pentious is a flustered mess.

hes overprotective with the egg bois, he kinda freaks if one is missing

smokes in the hotel lobby even tho charlie hates it, vaggie yells at him all the time for it

he always needs pentious' tail wrapped around at least one of his legs to sleep, the contact gives him comfort

he loves tying pentious up during sex

Cherri bomb

Baxter

autism!!!!

if you touch anything in his lab he will have a meltdown- everything has its own perfect place and it cannot be adjusted.

he accidentally blows up his lab alot, it causes alot of hotel damage

he uses his little light to read at night

definitely believes in some crazy ass conspiracy theories

only at the hotel to research the whole redemption thing.

he loves leviathan

tells people to eat spoonfuls of vegemite as a prank, when alastor enjoys it she doesn't find it funny anymore and stops

Vox

when people piss her off she speaks with a real hardcore aussie accent and uses alot of slang, also talks fast.

she is aboriginal :3

she secretly watches bluey with angeldust

she absolutely loves making people try australian snacks like fairy bread, jaffas, pavlova, sausage sangas, smiths chips on a sandwich ect

pentious and her are besties!

(i love my aussie girl <3 none of you are allowed to disagree with me because these are my headcannons)

glitches when hes about to cum

Velvette

gets overheated during sex sometimes so he has to stop to cool down

his penis is robotic and it can pop off and back on. he has a bunch of different ones he can use, val can choose what one he uses.

listens to musicals and sometimes performs them with val, specifically heathers

hes really jealous of angeldust, he wants val's attention as much as he can possibly get it

Vel & val play video games on vox's screen sometimes. Velvette always beats him at whatever theyre playing cos that fucker is blind

Valentino

Prefers having sex with women, only man she really ever fucks is vox, most the time she just fucks her models.

practices makeup on valentino, also constantly makes fun of him for being blind & bald

she does drag with valentino and they out on little fashion shows for vox

He can only see 3 metres in front of him

Vox and vel have to help him with paperwork

Vox gets mad at him because of how many cords he has lying around

has the most insane sex toy collection, he has everything.

he vents to vox's sharks sometimes. he knows vox can hear him but he just pretends he doesnt know

ty for taking the time to read!!! drink water and eat today darling!!! <33

#baxter hazbin hotel #arackniss #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanon #angeldust #alastor #nifty #cherri bomb #sir pentious #pentniss #radiodust #radioapple #staticmoth #the vees #husker #chaggie #charlie magne #vaggie #vox #hazbin #radio demon #the vees are poly #poly vees #valentino hazbin hotel #arackniss hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel vox #headcannons #fanon #huskerdusk

[totes-magotes]

How 2 not st@rve yourself

i know this is said a lot but you either want peace, happiness, and/or control 'n you think being skinny will provide you with these things. and u want it ASAP wanting to be skinny isnt a crime, but doing it this way takes so much more from you, to where you have less control then you ever had. so heres some tips - build a daily routine first, if u slip up ITS OKAY!!!! days r meant to be different, tmr is always a new day. good days are subjective. plus, building a routine is trial and error, you're gunna change your mind about things but trust me things will stick. - dance once a day, lil strange but if you still want that feeling of burning calories you can at least have fun with it. plus a mood booster - stop counting calories, make better choices. this is subjective person to person but personally, not counting calories and instead doing food swaps for healthier options helps a lot. example: i wanna eat oatmeal with MILK!! but i will use oat milk or less fat milk :3 - eat what you crave, this ones scary. i know its hard to control yourself and going overboard with it is so so easy, but it will help in the long run. you binge because you feel this urgency that you wont be able to eat anything later, so you eat it all now. it doesnt have to be this way. say that pack of chips eat some at a non-meal time or with a meal. find a way to show your body that it doesnt need it in the middle of the night when you cant sleep. that it can have it whenever it wants. and slowly you will find yourself going "eh i dont want any right now." - yeah you can eat a donut, but with a banana. try to eat unhealthy food with a healthier side. - i know u hear this a lot so im just gunna list them off, cold morning showers: prepares you for the day + tightens pores. yoga: relaxing duh. morning exercise: even if jus for like 10-20 minutes, you're day will feel much more productive. skincare: ego boost and good for your routine. basically everything those HEALTHY wonyoungism posts are telling you. - writing, just write any old thing, whether its affirmations, your feelings at the moment, something that happened years ago, or even a drawing. theres jus something about putting pen to paper that's relaxing. obviously this isn't an ultimate guide, but recovery isnt just about eating more or less... its about finding your peace. you dont have to force yourself to love your body, just treat it a little better. you can still lose weight, but eat the way you want to for the rest of your life. small improvements go a long way. even just starting one little thing everyday, you're still better off than you were a week ago. protect your peace. protect yourself, from yourself. we might slip up tmr, maybe for a week, maybe for a year, but tmr can always be a better day.

#girl blogger #girlblog #girlblogging #girlhood #self care #this is what makes us girls #3d recovery #recovery #healing #wonyoungism #healthy weight loss #healthy weight gain #pink pilates princess #pink pilates girl #it girl #it gets better

[sucktacular]

cw weight loss mention.

today.... is a good readmore!! good news!! a lil bit of a vent here and there cuz my brain is a mine field, but over all im feeling kind of good?

not to like.... pat my own lil head about it or anything but i went outside today. AND i went on a WALK on my OWN around the neighbourhood.... I've never walked around here on my own, and i think the last time I went out for a walk on my own was a year and a half ago when i had to come out here to check out the room for rent (current room). so its really been a hot fuckin minute. i was honestly feeling super anxious. but i put in my head phones and listened to my music and text-talked to some friends and it made it a lil easier. ; w;

I've been working out a lot too for the past few days!!!! My lil weights and lots of other exercises.... I feel really good about it so far honestly and I really hope maybe I can keep this up. especially through winter.

honestly im terrified of winter coming. i really dont want to feel stuck inside again and things get worse? I want so badly to go outside on my own. Be able to do shopping when I need. Go get little treats! Take care of myself and my needs. I'd really really like to work on getting a job or some sort of money source.because disability denied me over and over despite having even a therapist letter confirming like. heyyy theyre fucked up!!!, but like.... i want so badly to have money again. and i want to save and i want to put it away and also... being on social assistance im not allowed to leave canada for more than 7 days in a row and that is straining the FUCK out of my relationship and like my life moving forward at all in general. we cant go on a trip to the Adirondacks for the seasonal change and im super fucking bummed out about it honestly. and its literally just cuz of social assistance keeping me at home. its literally so fucked.

but anyway. im trying my fucking damnedest and im trying soooooo hard to keep upright and now sink and slip back down. Ive got some friends in my corner. and thats great. but its all on me at the end of the day. and if im being frank i fucking HATE HOW IM LIVING!!!!!!!! I DONT WANT!!!! TO BE DEPENDANT!!!! ON PEOPLE!!!!! i dont want to be stuck at home, the summer is fucking gone and i barely did anything.... i want to go out! i want to go to concerts! i want to go to festivals!! i want to go to meet ups and visit friends and i want to do so many fucking things!!! i want to explore, i want to see the world, i want to eat food and meet ppl and experience. i want so much out of my life. but im absolutely holding myself back. and i know its not entirely on me to just push myself out of that because i also dont want to burn out. and i know mental illness and i know i know i know.

but

im so tired of this. im literally clawing in my cage here and i dont feel like anyone really GETS that? idk idk maybe ppl do im just out of my mind and this ISNT ME. this isnt who i want to be, and i know i dont really get much of an option in that? cuz my brain is going to fucking keep doing what it is doing. but i AM getting therapy. I AM talking about the hard hard fucking shit. the shit that makes me want to kms the shit that makes me want to peel my skin off or just disappear entirely. im trying. and i dont want to crash and i dont want to burn and go back to this again. but like... idk man if i dont fucking push myself up im NOT gonna get back up. im complacent in the comfort of hiding away from life. when i want nothing more than to love everyone and kiss my friends faces and hold their hands and go to places and see things and eat things and do stuff blah blah blah

im strong.. im smart.. im creative... I CAN dance the dance. but im terrorized by the thought of existing enough to not be wanted around by even just one person LMAO;;;;;;

anyway this is getting a bit venty but

I WENT OUT!!! I WALKED FOR LIKE 30MIN. I GOT SWEATY. I CAME HOME. I WORKED A LITTLE. I DID MY DISHES YESTERDAY. I WORKED UP A HUGE SWEAT LAST NIGHT. I MAKE MY BED EVERY DAY. THE WEATHER IS CHILLING. I LOST 20LBS SINCE APRIL!!!! I HAVE A BETTER SLEEP SCHEDULE AND IM TRYING MY DAMNEST TO KEEP BRING IT BACK A BIT MORE (4/6am - 3/4pm right now. I'd love to wake up by 10am at minimum honestly). IM MOTIVATED IM TRYING SO FUCKING HARD.

i need to remember im independent. and i fucking adore my independence. and i need to stop being so complacent to allow ppl to care for me. like obv my heart is open to it and i let people in and i dont shy away. to be a human is to care and receive care. but my independence is a deeply deeply personal thing for me and without it im... just not myself. im just not me. im just not at my full potential. and i reallllly need to work it out.

#sucktacular sucks

[veryvvv1]

Life without adaptation

I never really express my thoughts publically, but here's the only place where nobody can see.

An experience of a friend of mine got me thinking, is this how life works? or is it just the mind that twists it into something different.

I grew up with a mother who's very neutral about feelings and other people. She never gossiped, she never talked shit, and always ended up talking abt morals. And hey, I learned so much from it.

Something I'll always remember is "adaptation". Everything in this world needs to adapt to its surroundings, animals, plants, sea, water, everything. Especially humans.

Adapting isn't just about changing your fins in different seas, it isn't just about storing nutrients in vacuoles when being in a dry place.

"My surrounding is dirty, but I don't wanna be dirty, so I clean." That's a part of adapting. In humans, it's also how you interact with people, social kinda stuff.

Something I notice, during teenagehood, many people struggle to make friends. Some of them get hated and talked abt by everyone, while some are loved and friends with everyone.

People often say ppl who adapt easily are two-faced, but the truth is no they're not. You have to know your place between people. Life isn't as fair as u think, to the point where you have to lie to get a place in society. I won't call it a lie, I call it adaptation yes. You can't always blame the situation, blame the people involved in it. Life is not fair indeed. And the way you think makes it worse for yourselves.

There are solutions to problems (unless death ofc), and there are people who analyze then to solve them. But then there are people who don't rly learn.

A perfect life is for someone who has clear skin, a perfect smile, pretty, friendly, smart, rich, and all that they say. While people who are less attractive tend to be forgotten.

Keyword, adapt. If you're not attractive, get a hobby, impress those people. Study hard, be smart. Lose weight, eat healthy, exercise. If you dont have friends, fight anxiety, talk to people, go out and make jokes. If you can't do any, be funny, be nice, everyone has potentials of their own. Thats part of adapting, without adapting ur js gonna stay ur old boring self hated by everyone. Its not funny right?

I feel like some of my friends should stop having that kind of mindset, taking control over their own body. Life has struggles. Every school you go to theres problems. You have to open your mind, open your heart.

If you think everyone hates you, i believe in "you get treated the way you treat them". So the way ppl treat u reflects urself. If you are hated, you probably hate everyone. Thats how it works. Life is cruel, it isnt fair, nothing is. Great people learn from it.

Idk this is js my mind, it must be hard to go thru that. But having a better mindset wont hurt u so much. Everyone has struggles i believe, the ones who are strong grows from it.

[bitchfitch]

i mean, hey, pavo and esti seem to be on your mind so, assorted emojis for them both and you can choose which is more interesting for you to respond with.

🥞-🏊-🎷-❇️-💧-🌠

hhhh thaeym.

🥞 PANCAKE - what is their comfort breakfast?

Pavos greatest secret that only Esti knows is that he like, Legitimately enjoys eating raw eggs. When Pavo is in a mood that man is just going to down some egg. Esti likes pancakes with sausage and pretending he isnt seeing what Pavo is doing.

🏊 SWIMMING - can they swim? or are they afraid of water? how well do they swim? how do they feel about swimming in the ocean?

They both can swim but neither are ever happy to have to. Esti especially fucking Hates it and will go out of his way to avoid having to swim or be in any water that wasn't drawn up for a nice bath. He doesn't like the smell and amount of creatures he has to share with in a natural body of water. Pavo has seen the ocean but never swam in it and probably wouldn't mind the experience while also not being the sort to crave doing it again. Esti hasn't seen the ocean and would have a sobbing panic attack if he felt 1(one) piece of seaweed touch his leg while swimming in it.

🎷 SAXOPHONE - do they play any instruments? are they any good at it?

Pavo said learning an instrument would help curate and exercise Esti's mind. Esti does know how to play the harp fairly well because of that, but he also knows how to make a harp disappear and never be found again because of it too. Pavo never tells him he did the exact same thing as a young man because that would devalue the lecture Esti got about it.

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

Pavo has a few basically identical sets of prosthetic eyes, but only one travel case for them. It can only hold a single set and it was rectangular box when he first got it as a child, but now the edges have been worn so much and it's been patched so many times it looks more like it's meant to be a weird rounded octagon with four long sides and four short. It's not particularly special, but it's still weirdly important to him and he refuses to get a new one. He doesn't tend to value items at all, he'll collect expensive things to keep around but that's more a flaunting of wealth than any real attachment to them or their aesthetics.

Esti has a dagger that was his birth father's, it's very plain and not at all remarkable, but it's the only thing he has of the man since he died before Esti was born. He holds it close and carries it with him but doesn't really ever use it for anything more likely to damage it than cutting a piece of fruit might. he's not the sort to become attached to items either, but when he does it's usually because the item reminds him of someone or something important to him.

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Pavo was born with significant deformities. He's the older of him and his brother, and he adores Truthahn, he really does, but there's a part of him that resents all the love and opportunity Truthahn gets that was denied to him because of his looks and blindness.

Truthahn is king, and Pavo doesn't even have a real title. He's always been playing second to his little brother and knows he was the spare that was kept around just in case something happened to Truthahn. That's about 90% of the reason hes as nasty as he is. He needs to prove he's the better of the two in one arena, and ruthless conquest just happens to be the thing Truthahn has no interest in being directly responsible for.

#thank youuuu

[abrahamshipwreck]

Bitching post below

I swear if my stepdad has covid I am not going to talk to him until the new year. I have been avoiding exposure to it as best as I can since it started- I still mask, I still disinfect, I still wash my hands until they are raw and use sanitizer, I have been eating well and getting exercise and taking care of myself. Meanwhile he almost never masks, attendings massive Kingdom Hall meetings twice a week (and probably doesnt mask and who knows isnt vaxxed there), eats like crap and doesnt take care of himself.

Its rough enough since he decided to not celebrate Christmas so mum and I have to fight to feel SOMETHING and make our own traditions, so now if he has it he will have another year of making our plans difficult because our lives have to revolve around him. It will be me who has to pick up what little chores he does in the house, it will be me who has to nurse and baby him, it will be me who cant leave the house for the few shreds of happiness I can get outside of the house. It willme mum and I who have to spend a holiday away from my sissa to keep her and her family safe because of his selfishness.

I know its shitty that it seems like Im blaming him for possibly being infected and he is sick currently but seriously? At this point he knows better, HE KNOWS BETTER but still doesnt do what he needs to because forbid he has to keep anyone else in mind who isnt in his little pissy cult.

Im sorry, I am just so fucking upset and mad and I dont even know if he even has covid since he hasnt taken the test yet (because he doesnt feel up to it yet I guess).

#negative post #covid mention #shaking and crying and pissed

[madzxzx]

ITS SO COLD ITS SO CHILLY the only reason I left my bed was because I had to use the restroom and so when I was finished I instantly got in the shower well not instantly something I never do is run the shower to let it get hot before getting in which i magic maybe but I just turn it on and scurry to the back on my tippy toes so I don't get hit but I couldn't take the risk today because if my body temperature dropped any lower I would have started taking damage now I'm all warm wrapped up by all the drops of water mmm and I'm brushing my teeth and now I'll be able to brave the day conquer it even I have Russian starting in 5 hours and idk if I'll be able to do anything but wait for it to start but that will be enough also something I commonly don't do it wash my legs well only the calves and shins if I am feeling lazy I stop at the knees and skip straight to my feet but I wash my feet separately from my body in part because I might be self conscious about them I have very clammy hands and feet and I cannot wear socks in doors I can but it's not as comfy and my feet are really sensitive to temperature and it will never be a winning situation because I have poor circulation to them so they are naturally cold and on the verge of necrosis so times like these when it's cold is just horrible but as soon as I put socks on they are getting cooked and theyre like help I can't breath its too hot and we're drowning in sweat so sad so sad but i think id always pick uncomfortable cold over uncomfortable heat because uncomfortable heat quickly makes me irritable but also there was this one wuestion abiut being stuck in a hot sandy desert or a cold arctic desert and I forget what I choose and my reasoning id have to get thw question again and fully interface eith it also when i brushed my teeth it gave me a flash of wasabi peas in my mind and I got a craving and the whole time the mintiness was stinging my tongue thats all i could think about but why do they sell wasabi peas in such big quantities how do you eat that many I mean I can the last time I ate wasabi peas I ate like half the bag but my taste buds were singed and I couldn't taste anything for days so like who's eating that much wasabi peas which makes me think of mental images again and like I can't create them but they definitely pop up in my head a lot not of my own creation and if I can its pretty situational like the exercise to close your eyes and picture an apple its really hard for me in that context but if I'm thinking of an apple ive seen in recent memory it gets more vivid but it needs a lot of context to ground it it cant be just the apple it needs to be the fruit bowl and all the other fruit surrounding or the produce isle or a cartoon depiction in a classroom/school kinda setting but then like with the wasabi peas thing Ill just have shit pop inti my head and its like hey remember this isnt it similar to whats happening now and im like yeah actually ive never thought about it like thst thats pretty cool thanks brain there was this one time it's either the smell or taste of ladybugs but I told my dad that the taste of metal is the same as the smell of ladybugs I think that was it and he was like what does that even mean that doesn't make sense why do you have those experiences even and I was like ok I guess I just won't talk to you then lol but then there's also bad images like if something sharp gets near my face I have a chance of getting images of eyes being gouged and it's not that fun and if I go on escalators i have the chance of seeing like final destination type stuff and I have to jump off at the end to get over the metal platform at the bottom or top and back onto the normal flooring

[hugeblue]

Here have a vent post

I'm ridiculously out of shape.

And it's no use beating myself up, bc I have had many, many challenges that most people either havent had, or wouldn't even understand.

The layers of, body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, that caused self hatred and disordered eating. The multiple chronic illnesses, of hypermobility and hypothyroidism that cause chronic pain and chronic fatigue. One of those things alone would cause someone to disassociate from, not take care of, maybe even neglect their body. I have had to deal with all of them, and through it all, I have had the grace and strength to keep going. Not just living life, but actively pursued a career as a massage therapist with the intention of using that knowledge and experience to help myself overcome these challenges. I spent months in physical therapy. I regularly get massage, chiropractic, and acupuncture. At least once a month for all of them, sometimes multiple times a month. And that's not for fun or luxury, that's just what I need for maintenance as a chronically ill person with a physical job.

All of this is coming up because I desperately want to start working out more, but connecting with my body has always caused me pain in the past. The more I allow myself to live in my body, rather than living in my head, the more I am processing old emotions and trauma.

So that means two things.

One, I deserve a huge pat on the back just for doing a little work out today.

And two, it's okay that I started having big emotions from the physical act of exercising. My body isnt used to pushing itself, whenever it has in the past it was a harmful experience. I am learning how to put my body under positive stress rather than negative stress.

I've also started working with a holistic acupuncturist and I'm hopeful beyond hope that I actually see some improvement of symptoms. She is advising me on diet and recommended herbs, on top of doing acupuncture and bodywork on me. She seem to get the full picture, of the body and mind being connected. We will see.

Idk why I felt this vent belonged here, but here it is.

#bluerambling

[cutlikediamonds]

i might be a lot more active here for the summer lol

so i just finished my first year away at school which honestly it had high highs but also low lows so i dont mind coming back home but at the same time, the highs i got were mostly even possible because i wasnt home. my family means well and i love them and i dont want us to ever become estranged or anything but there was just a lot of unresolved trauma and grief among all of us and getting to escape that did wonders for my mental health and even my relationship with them. but i have no where else to be for the summer but home, where i dont have my bedroom anymore and im sleeping on the couch, and where i feel like im surrounded by people who are forever going to cling to a version of me theyve had since i was a kid because they refuse to realize i grew up or that they ever hurt me, intentional or not. 

(and it wasnt intentional ever, i know that, which makes everything more complicated because i know im valid in my anger about it but also know that they genuinely didnt mean it. its complicated. families are complicated.) 

anyways, that itself is kinda fine on its own. its stressful and it requires all my efforts of self advocacy and regulating my emotions but i was doing okay taking on the challenge mostly. 

but ive been here a couple weeks now and something has become incredibly clear that i wasnt really ready for, this house is still so goddamn disordered when it comes to weight and eating and its only gotten way fucking worse. 

part of me getting out of here and healing was i got to be completely in control of my own food and restart that incredibly unhealthy relationship from scratch and heal a bit for once. maybe even exercise for reasons that werent self-punishment. i got to finally figure out what foods i even liked because i wasnt just only considering calories and guilt anymore. now im home and i guess i forgot that they all stayed here and didnt get the same experience, theyve only gotten worse. and theyre supportive of me working on my mental health, even if they dont always understand, but ive never told them about my own eating disorder so of course they arent thinking anything of it, but im already relapsing. 

i went from not even having access to a scale to having two in the house. they instantly went back to calling me the skinny one. they love boasting about the number on the scale going down and how small their appetite is now and how they arent even hungry - they do not comment on the throwing up and the dizziness theyre getting from the injections. 

yeah, injections. not that im expecting an audience but for anyone reading, if youve ever heard of those injections that are originally for diabetics that are now being marketed for weight loss (as if it isnt hard enough for diabetics to get the treatment they need in this fucking country), thats what my brother and sister are on thats making them shed all this weight. my mom isnt on it but shes her usual self, being over supportive of toxic behaviors and trying to hide ‘junk’ food and shit from them, passing it all off as her being helpful. 

the thing is its again complicated too. i dont wanna be negative when they try to celebrate their weight loss, i know its something that has genuinely troubled them for years and i can tell this means a lot to them, but fucking come on. i dont need to be a psychologist to see how wrong this all is. i know its a lot harder to do the real work of unpacking your relationship with your body and diet and find a healthy balance but if this is the easy way out they take instead? 

theyre obsessive. i just saw my brother weigh himself after eating. my sister is body checking every time she passes the mirror. my mom keeps saying the calories in everything when either of them are looking for something to eat. someone told them ‘i heard most people gain back most of the weight after something like this’ (which is true) and its like they just refused to hear it - ‘im not gonna let that happen.’ hey, as someone who had the exact same fucking mindset when i lost a crazy amount of weight and was scared of one day gaining it back, yeah you fucking will. 

and thats what sucks. is i can see how shitty this all is but im too weak to help because its all just triggering me and now i dont wanna stop so i cant make them stop cuz then id have to too. i dont want to admit my own problems yet, then they try to stop me. call me a hypocrite, i am one, i dont know what you want from me. i think ive made it pretty clear we arent very mentally well here. 

so thats why im gonna post here more. i dont wanna tell anyone about it cuz i dont wanna admit how much it triggers me, and i also am sick of trauma dumping and venting to friends, so im just gonna grin and bear it and scream about it here. 

im down five pounds. its nothing compared to the tens of pounds theyve lost already, but they are kinda cheating arent they so im not even gonna bother comparing. my hw was 170, it was my sw for the worst stint of my restriction. i got all the way to 129, then started antidepressants among other changes and was stuck in the 130s and scared of gaining more for a while, then actually got a little bit happy and gained up to the 150s where ive stayed ever since. i never got to loving my body, i honestly still had a super long way to go with recovering. but it was something. im 151 this morning, i really really really want to keep going. if i can end the summer and start the next semester at 140... 

so yeah. ill see you guys later. this made me feel better. 

i hope everyone else is having a safe summer. 

[spyrkle4]

owl house and amphibia destroyed me this week rip Sparks

and im gonna talk about them

so uh first owl house

(spoilers under cut u know the drill)

-THE DREAM SEQUENCE.... SO CUTE ;-;

-King just wants both his families together ;-;

-The flashback sequence Luz is not Okay

-Also she feels so bad for contributing its not ur fault Luz bby ;-;

-HOOTY AND KING GIVE BEST HUGS

-COOL AUNT LILLITH TO THE RESCUE

-I made a post about this but how dare they have Eda cry worrying abt her kids that is the face of a worried mother and i am hit emotionally in the gut just LET THEM BE OKAY

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE DAY OF UNITY IS IN A WEEK. HELLO?!

-King finally got his letter

Me before this ep: Im mad at Hooty for eating the letter 

Me after this ep: actually Hooty was right to eat it

-hhhh family feels with the pirate

-huh i guess if there were more than 1 titan then there’d be more than one isle

-i wanna know how that portal works

-but wow titan hunters??? cool

-until the twist of the ep 

-When I heard the leader is named “Bill” I totally thought of the satan dorito from Gravity Falls... im not the only one right???

-KING IS A TITAN?!?!?! WH?!

-HE JUST WANTS TO PLAY CATCH I AM SOBBING

-Oh god if King is a titan the owl house might wanna expand bc he is going to end up very tall

-Wait if King is a titan WTF happened to his dad?!

-Also if the Collector kills titans does that mean it was trapped by a titan I NEED ANSWERS

-ALSO THAT ENDING WTF I AM AFRAID

---

Okay now for frog show

-Three armies was good but WHO GAVE POLLY WEAPONS?!

-Also am sad bc look what Andrias did... he made the three races of amphibia hate each other its just... sad... very sad...

-that bit where Anne was a known meditator back home was SO cute, Anne really out here using the power of friendship

-The team building exercises I liked the knot part where Sasha’s group did super well it was wholesome

-AND THEN ANNE GOING SUPER SAIYAN ON THE GROUPS FOR FIGHTING LMAOOOO

-The message being that “they cant forget the past but they could work together to build a better future” is great

-MOTHER OLM COMING IN TO DELIVER THE LATEST NEWS AHAHAH

-the second ep destroyed me from beginning to end that flashback start???

-Marcy feels... so many mf-ing marcy feels

-I did not expect Sasha to bring up the whole “Marcy was the one who brought them to Amphibia thing” but ig it’d be weird if they rugswept it, and her not even sure if they can repair their friendship???

-i hate it here

-Grime doing a battle playlist so cute

-he’s just vibing and i love the implications that Sasha shares her phone w/ her toad dad

-The part where Anne tells Sasha that forgiveness is hard but its worth it ALL THE FEELS. ig it shows that while their friendship isnt the same anymore that doesnt mean things cant be okay, I mean Anne and Sasha were besties the second half of the season

-OLIVIA  AND YUNANA HOLY COW

-oh they’re mind controlled should’ve seen this coming

-THAT DANCE BATTLE PART WAS GLORIOUS

-Oh no

-Oh no Darcy

-Oh no them doing that “you weren’t a good friend ever” to Sasha how dare u 

-Also ANDRIAS IN THIS EP

-THE PART WHERE HE ENTERS THE FIGHT

-AND THE BIT WHERE THEY LOST THAT IS SO SAD WTF

-im so glad Anne managed to buy some time that is some quick thinking.

-The “Shut up Andrias” with Darcy hahahah

-OH NO EARTH LOOK OUT OH NOES

-PLEASE TELL ME ANNE’S PARENTS ARE OKAY

-THAT CREDITS SCENE FUCKING BROKE ME OKAY?! THE PIANO MUSIC AT THE END WAS WHAT GOT ME AND NOW I AM IN TEARS AND I AM GOING TO EAT COOKIES AND LOOK AT MEMES TO TRY AND COPE WITH THESE EPISODES BC GOD THEY BROKE ME

#the owl house #toh spoilers #amphibia #spoilers #just sparks things

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

I just found out I'm 5 weeks after a few cycles of trying. I knew it would be rough but ur kind of scaring me now lol. I always hear mothers saying stuff like "Pregnancy was the best!" or "I miss being pregnant!" and people do it over and over again, so there must be something to love about it. Right?

Of course! there’s plenty to love about it:

many people lament the changes their body goes through during pregnancy, especially the bump growing. personally? i fucking love it. literally i’ve never loved the way my body looks more than right now, and i used to be fit as fuck. i was sleek and curvy and all sorts of hot, i look EXACTLY the opposite now and yet i LOVE it.

the dips of my stretch marks, my huge slowly rounding belly, my jiggle thighs, my muffin top hips spilling over my pants, my skin is SO fucking soft, i seriously cant keep my hands off myself. if my tits werent plagued by lymphedema i’d probably love them too, but in a sleep bra they look sooooo good in my new maternity shirts. ESPECIALLY ruffle blouses. i genuinely adore the way i look heavily pregnant, and i will absolutely miss it terribly.

i mentioned before that i hate the rolls and swishes (especially the stretches) but i LOVE kicks. seeing my belly move around is surreal and kind of freaky, but in an amazing way. kicks are so... assertive. “i’m here! i’m alright! i’m growing patiently! i’m exercising!” it’s so soothing to know they’re doing well in there, in a place i can’t reach them. i’ll poke them back and they’ll react! it’s so sweet. getting kicked in the butthole isnt so sweet, but i do think its funny tbh.

learning their routine in there is so nice in a weird way. i know what foods they react strongly to(baby loves spicy), and how they react to light. they like to settle on one side of my belly button or the other, and i can feel their head (or ass?) just hanging out there. resting. i can caress my baby through my skin. it’s gross but its so lovely.

i get to park in the expectant parking spots heehee >:3c (i already have a blue badge, but when the blue spots are full, there’s still a close space for me most of the time) i always do an evil little laugh when i pull in like im doing crimes.

my hair still falls out, but not nearly as much as it did pre-pregnancy. it gets greasy a lot slower too.

i still get pimples, but not nearly as many as i did pre-pregnancy. (T1 doesnt count. T1 was like Puberty 2. hopefully yours isnt as blegh)

i’m compelled beyond understanding to drink TONS of water. I have never drank this much daily water in my LIFE. i am extremely hydrated and feel healthy.

i’m compelled beyond understanding to get into the sunlight. i stand outside for a few moments on sunny days and feel like im photosynthesizing. i never did this before now.

im generally more optimistic rather than doomscrolling my own brain for hours a day.

i feel more responsible, i feel like the decisions i make have a future in mind rather than impulsivity. i feel purposeful. my mental health has improved drastically.

i eat so much more fruit than i used to

my sleep is plagued by nightmares sure but i sleep SO fast now. it used to take me hours to fall asleep. now it’s mere minutes. is this how the other side lives???

people are way more willing to help me, and other parents readily and eagerly answer a complete strangers random questions like “was that expensive? is it easy to use? does it fit in your car well?” that from any other person would feel upsetting and invasive. i was looking at nipple balm confusedly in target a few months ago and a total stranger called out to me and asked if i needed help, then pointed out which are vegan, which have this or that ingredient, which allergens to be aware of, which have a strong smell, which were oily or lotion-y, and when i picked one (earth mama butter) just said “great choice, you’re gonna smell so good. good luck babe!” and left with her cute toddler who was happily chanting “nip-ple, nip-ple, nip-ple,”. ideal interaction. i still think about that woman. she smelled like cheerios and strawberries.

there’s plenty to love and enjoy, just like theres plenty to hate and be miserable about.

and when it comes to people who say “pregnancy was the best! i miss it!” i personally have a feeling that if it’s not because of stigma of looking “unappreciative” of pregnancy, it is because keeping an infant alive is fucking miserable, and parenting blows chunks. i’m sure that comparatively, being extremely uncomfortable and in pain for the better part of a year might actually have been the best part for them, even if they had the roughest parts.

i’ll definitely miss the way i currently feel about my body. i’ll miss the QUIET for sure, and the idleness. and ill miss sleeping so soundly, even if there’s nightmares. i’ll miss getting to shirk chores because my body hurts, and i’ll miss having 100% of my husband’s attention, but he’ll miss having 100% of mine too so at least its fair.

but........ i won’t be doing this again :^) at least unless i have free healthcare, because my GOD the bills are OUTRAGEOUS. fuck that shit.

congrats on your success, anon. it’s a rollercoaster.

#i want a second one but i'm thinking we'll adopt #long post #again soz #pregnancy #for ts #me babby #op #ask #Anonymous

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

TW ableism, body shaming, fatphobia, gaslighting mention, accusing someone of faking stuff and manipulation ///////////

I appreciate the post you made not too long ago about peoples disability being "enough" (idk if the quotes are correct to put, I put them there because all disabilities are valid and putting "disability" and "enough" in the same sentence isnt a gr8 thing Hdhdjhdkd)

But yeah, I need to get rid of my internalized ableism as well, it also comes from trauma and although I validate others disabilities no matter what, what I say about my own can reflect onto others, and I'd hate for that to effect (affect???) people.

I had a horrible friend group once who gaslit me into thinking i was faking my fibromyalgia for attention/using it as an excuse to be lazy and fat (I'm very much fat but LOL fuck them.) Or using my brain fog and pain as an excuse to be a shitty person and such. I developed a horrible case of imposter syndrome bc I believe it all, it sucks. I feel like a manipulative, compulsive liar that only uses people and that my disability really is made up and all in my head (they especially say that about fibromyalgia) and they said I'm just obsolete and that's why I'm in pain.

It's strange because, why would you make me feel bad about being obese if I was obese? Why is being big so frowned upon?? Why is it that thin people get cared for WAY more easily compared to bigger people who are suffering? (But btw, to clarify, body shaming is horrible, and I'm not denying that thin people suffer too, I hate that society is horrid towards anyone)

SORRY JUST RAMBLING TO YOU ALL HOPE YOU DONT MIND I JUST FELT VALIDATED BY THAT AND I APPRECIATE IT.

Correct me on anything I've said please!

(Agreeing with you)

It's really dumb because fatphobia is rooted in being unhealthy. The whole idea behind being an ass to fat people is because "it's unhealthy".

The fact that fat isn't an indicator of health aside.

They're literally putting someone's value in their health.

They're literally looking at fat people and saying "you have less value because you're unhealthy".

What are us disabled people supposed to say/ think when we see this fatphobic society pointing at fat people and calling them less than because they're unhealthy?

Not to mention, a lot of people are fat because of their disability, but the opposite is also true. A lot of disabled people are skinny because of their disability. At my worst I couldn't hold down food for days on end because of my migraines. DAYS without eating. I wasn't just skinny, I was hella out of shape because I couldn't exercise because I couldn't move because I couldn't eat.

I'm not trying to compare my experience to yours. Obviously fat disabled people get more shit from doctors and society because they're fat.

But since the vomiting was the worst symptom for my, I felt like ignoring my weight because I was skinny was equivalent to ignoring the worst part about my disability.

I also just feel gaslit by society because everyone calls migraines a headache disorder, when it's a neurological disorder where headaches aren't even the most common or the most severe symptom. A lot of my internalized abelism was people calling migraines "just a headache" and it took me years to realize and accept that the headache wasn't even the worst part. Depending on the severity, I could deal with just the headache. The WORST part is the vomiting, vertigo, and the fatigue for days after.

One migraine was so bad I had a bruise down my back for 2 weeks after because I fell on my desk trying to get my meds, and I ended up crawling to my meds.

(That doesn't include the memory issues because that's a whole nother post.)

-fae

#tw fatphobia #fatphobia #abelism #tw abelism

[milkacchan]

Request for @bnhakaminari : Hi! How are you? May I please request Bakusquad x Omega!Reader headcanons? Maybe she's like their only omega? 🥺 It doesn't have to be female pronouns if you don't want! Also, I'm sorry if this request is weird! Thank you so so much and I hope you have a nice day/night!

Idk if you wanted poly so I did poly bc I physically can not resist poly

And it's not weird bc I really do love me some omegaverse.

Mayhaps I'll do a part 2 nsfw

• Baby GURL you're the only omega

• And thank god you are their omega

• Because all of them are Alphas

• Which can be hard to deal with

• Bevause while theyre friends, really good friends, they're still Alphas and that can get messy sometimes

• None of them are particularly aggressive with their instincts but if we have to list it it'd go

1. Bakugou

2. Mina

3. Kirishima

4. Denki

5. Sero

• In order for them to be genuinely aggressive it has to be deep rut or someone is trying to hurt their omega

• But tensions can get high since it's a bunch if alphas together all the time, they can but heads

• You're drawn to Sero and Mina first

• Sero's just really calm and down to earth and he's funny

• He's easy to be around and he smells /great/

• Its just strong enough to be calming but not overwhelming

• Mina kinda just started bothering you when you transferred in because you were pretty and you were a girl.

• Actually, Mina saw you when she was with Sero and she was like, 'that one. I want that one.'

• And Sero was immediately on board like yes we want thay one

• Your room is right next to hers

• This ends in her just being an annoying neighbor but you don't really mind because its mina and how could you not love her

• Then without really anything being said you're integrated into the Bakusquad and it's great

• Kirishima is bubbly and smiley

• Denki is just happy theres another girl

• and you're pretty so win

• Bakugou seems a little skeptic at first- unsure of where this is going but he's civil and quickly warms up to you

• Its unspoken that they take on a protective role

• Someone's giving you shit? At least one of them are there to back you up. Most of the time its Bakugou. It doesn't matter where in the room he is, he's by your side in seconds to ward off whatever BS the person in front of

• You're feeling sad? They're all there cuddling you so you feel better. They turn your ass into a burrito.

• Denki is already pulling out the memes

• You're super excited about something? They listen as you ramble warm smiles on their faces

• They'll play with your hair, massage your scalp until your purring against it

• They have a way with you and it's obvious to everyone around them

• They are MAGIC at calming you down

• If you're upset or frustrated at a training exercise, they each have their own ways to help.

• Kiri is a softer alpha in general. Along with Sero they were both raised in house holds where they were taught being an Alpha doesnt excuse being aggressive or wreckless.

• Seros mother was a beta

• Kirishimas mother was an Alpha who was raised with Betas.

• Kiri is often holding your hand in public if you get anxious

• Or letting you lean against him when you're tired or upset

• Most people think the two of you are established but you're not

• Sero absolutely gives you his jacket if you get cold

• Minas super cuddly and touchy all the time regardless of why so more often than not she's clinging to you

• That is if she's not busy making googoo eyes at you

• Need a laugh?

• Need a laugh so hard you're wheezing and struggling to breathe?

• Five minutes. That's all the time Denki needs.

• Crackheads tm

• What's even better is when yall get together when you're both sleep deprived

• It concerns the rest of the group

• and they're curious as to why you two are curled up on the floor laughing so hard you're crying over a picture of CHEESE

• But that's what happening

• Bakugous way of showing he diesnt hate you rn is

1. Buying you food occasionally

2. Helping you train

3. Offering to study with you

• But he can be really soft too

• Like that one time you just weren't having a good day and he carried you mid breakdown to your room

• You had your legs wrapped around his waist, face buried in the back of his neck as your arms were wrapped tightly around his chest

• Being the only omega in the group, they dote on you even before they ask to offically court you

• Oh you wanted that food? A few dollars short? Dont worry baby Bakugous got you

• You want to listen to a song? Kaminari "Everyone shut the FUCK up so she can hear," Denki

• You want attention? You genuinely dont even have to ask they know

• AS I SAID BEFORE THEY WILL PLAY WITH YOUR HAIR AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

• ESPECIALLY UNTIL YOU'RE PURRING

• S c e n t i n g

• You realize they all pretty much smell the same as a result of scenting

• And the omega definitely comes out when they scent you (even before courtship)

• They take turns scenting you

• Each time your eyes flutter close and your grip their shirt as your cheeks burn

• But it's so nice

• And you've never really been scented

• And you're leaning into the touch, Keening at them, just completely content with your place

• And they're fawning over it

• They love it

• Thus enters this weird phase where yall might be a thing but theres no offical courting

• but theres hands and scenting and you're pretty sure Mina almost kissed you the other day

• Its a lil confusing but thays okay

• When I say you're unaware that the four Alphas are a thing

• I mean you're obliviously unaware

• You just thought they were affectionate friends

• Because some friendships are very affectionate

• And then, they ALL bring you small courting gifts and

• At the same time

• And it clicks

• Fuck they're all wearing necklaces

• THE SAME NECKLACE

• Oh

• Oh

• OH

• "You want me to be everyone's omega,"

"If you're okay with it, and you like all of us, then yes."

• and obviously you're okay with it

• who wouldn't be.

• Its 10/10 lemme tell you

• you help ease tension sometimes

• Using your own pheromones or gentle touches just like they do w you

• They have uncovered another way of calming you down

• Food.

• "She's mad again," Denki whines

"Give her an apple or sumn,"

"No, you dumb bitch. Chocolate,"

"Why don't we just take her out to eat??"

"BINGO."

• They steal kisses whenever they can

• and I mean

• WHENEVER

• Onviously if youre not okay w PDA they'll lean of that ut other than that your lips are not safe

• When you go through your first heat with them, it KILLS them.

• The top floor is used for omegas when they go into heats

• Which isnt super often because if suppressants (which most omegas take,) but sometimes the suppressants get salt

• Alpha ruts are contained to their own dorms, they don't have a separate floor

• But anyway, your suppressants wear off :)

• And they learn that your heats are particularly painful

• Because they can smell the distress and frustration in the fucking stairwell

• And they /cant/ help and it /sucks/ because they want to help /so bad/

• Expect lots of kisses and hugs and cuddles when your heat is over

• And Denki crying because he missed you

• And Eijirou holding your waist as you lean against his chest

• Listen just expect a lot of affection and love in general

• Lots of touches and kisses

• Lots of sharing scented clothes too

• They'll scent just about anything you ask them too, not questions asked

• And they melt when they see you using whatever it is

• They're best alphas tm

#poly bakusquad x reader #poly bakusquad #omegaverse my hero academia #my hero academia omegaverse #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #Alpha Bakugou #Alpha Sero #Alpha Mina #Alpha Denki #Alpha Kirishima #Sero Hanta #Hanta Sero #Sero x reader #hanta sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #kirishima eijirou #eijirou kirishima #kirishima x reader #Kirishima eijirou x reader #eijirou kirishima x reader #Mina Ashiso #Ashido mina #Mina x reader #ashido mina x reader #Mina Ashido x reader #kaminari denki #denki kaminari #kaminari x reader #Denki Kaminari x reader

[canttakethatobeyfromme]

Favorite Scents

Lucifer - Mint

After a long day he wants nothing more than to sit and breath in a cup of mint tea, And we know all his days are long. Mint is known to most as being relaxing and refreshing, as well has helping with sleep. Mint can also help with headaches, of which Lucifer has many. too bad it doesn’t help with the things causing the headaches.

Mammon - Leather

Nothing quite like the smell of a brand new leather jacket or upholstery. Money doesn’t smell like much and Goldie just smells like plastic which isnt that enjoyable (but boy is she pretty) besides the fact that real leather tends to be expensive, the smell of it is soft and warm and calming. We all know Mammon doesn’t need anything to increase his energy.

Levi - Ozone and Sand

While he does love the smell of new merch, the scent that Levi loves most is the smell of a thunderstorm on the beach. He might not enjoy the sand getting everywhere but there’s just something about that soft earthy scent that calms him and reminds him of back in the Celestial Realm; and who doesn’t love a good thunderstorm.

Satan - Books

A bit cliche, I know, but there's nothing that can be Satan’s favorite scent besides books. The sweet clean wood and glue smell of a new book, the slightly musty aged smell of an old tome. And not just the pages, The cover and bindings all have their unique smells that quells that burning rage that fills Satan at almost every moment of every day.

Asmo - Rose

While Asmodeus loves all kinds of florals and sweet scents, rose must be his favorite. I mean, it just suits him in every way. The delicate sweetness, fresh and grassy, all the complex notes of spice, It doesn't really need anything else to accent it. You can be sure to find at least a hint of rose in all the perfumes Asmo uses. Roses are known to be the most beautiful of flowers... still not as beautiful as Asmo though.

Beel - Pine pitch

What? not a food smell? Well of course Beel loves the smell of food, but it makes him hungry and if he wants to smell something thats not going to make his hunger that much worse, the deep earthy and sweet notes of pine pitch are where its at for Beezebub. Evoking visions of a hike, it helps a bit to think of his second favorite activity besides eating, exercising.

Belphie - Wood

Although sandalwood is a good choice, Belphegor loves the smell of any type of wood, the intense fresh smell of hardwood, or the musty smell of wood in old buildings. Wood is a soft, quiet smell that is calming and is very easy to sleep with.

Diavolo - Spiced wine

A complex man himself, Diavolo likes the blend of smells that spiced wine offers. From the bitter and spicy notes from the clove, cinnamon, and anise, to the fermented and sweet smell of the wine, he loves to incorporate even just parts of it into his personal colognes. Warm and sweet but also bitter, spicy, and complex, just like the man himself.

Barbatos - Lemon

While any kind of citrus in enjoyable, lemon always ends up as Barbatos’s preference. He loves the crisp, clean smell, but also the brightness lifts his mood every time (although not many people would describe anything but his intellect as “bright”) Lemon is also suitable almost anywhere, from cleaning supplies, to personal scents and candles, as well as in food, just as Barbatos is a man of many talents.

Solomon - Smoke

Not cigarettes or other things that people smoke of course, but the smell of burning wood or even incense. Familiar, of course, when you are as talented a wizard as Solomon is, you are going to get used to various burning smells, the smell of smoke frequently brings ideas for spells or solutions to problems to his mind.

Simeon - Leaves

Bright and clear as the man himself, nothing opens Simeon’s mind quite like the smells of leaves. As a writer, it is important to be able to think clearly after all, and what is more clear than nature itself (well, more clear than humans and demons at least.) Simeon loves to take walks around the RAD grounds to help his thoughts flow, enjoying the beautiful greenery and their calming scents.

Luke - Fruit and Vanilla

Even before he became interested in baking, Luke loved the smell of fruits and vanilla. Not only delicious, he loves the variety of smells that fruits have (except for tomatoes of course, but its only a fruit in technicality) Warm and dark berries, sweet melons, crisp citrus, he loves them all, and the creamy heady sweet scent of vanilla puts Luke in the best mood.

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke #headcanons #obey me headcanons