#the epilogue was so cute too omg | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ellieluvr420 · 4 months

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We meet again, darling pt.20 (detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader x detective Ellie Williams)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

Violence!! I mean obvi but just so you know LOL

OMG cannot believe the series is actually over. I'm kind of sad tbh but i already have plans for an epilogue that i am rlly excited to start. Now that this series is basically done if you have any requests for me to write or even any questions in general pls lmkkkk bc u guys are so cute to chat to I love it <3

You’re woken by someone slapping your face a couple times, your head throbs and every muscle in your body aches, it’s quiet where you are except for the inhaling of a cigar and the sound of drops of water hitting the floor periodically. You keep your eyes closed until you feel a hand pinching your nose and lips shut. Your eyes fly open only to be greeted with the Met bosses face once again, once he sees you're awake he lets go allowing you to catch your breath. Your arms are handcuffed to a pole above your head and your tiptoes are barely touching the floor, you feel a drop of water land on your head and look up to see the pipe you’re handcuffed to is leaking, as your eyes adjust to the dark lighting of the room you take in your surroundings, a basement you assume with no windows but you can’t see any stairs, only a door out of the room that seemed hundred of miles away.

“Good, you’re awake. Didn’t want you to miss any of this of course.” He smiles sickeningly and your face remains completely emotionless. You watch as he walks over to a table in the corner of the room and you notice the various tools: a taser, a knife, what looks like a big lighter but a small blow torch, there are other things but you can’t make them out from where you’re stood. He follows your eye-line and chuckles as he walks to the table where he picks up the knife. “All you have to do is beg sweetheart and I won’t ruin that pretty face of yours.

“Stop stalling like a little bitch and get on with it already.”

“Stubborn… I like it.” He takes the cigar from his mouth and presses it to the part of your chest that escaped from under your top. You hiss but bite your tongue, you won’t let him enjoy this. He looks at you to elicit your response and his face grows unamused by your lack of a reaction. He takes the knife and drags it down one of your arms, again you focus all of your energy on not reacting which only angers him more. He violently slashes at your cheek and a small squeak leaves your lips more out of shock than anything else. You feel the warm drips of crimson dripping down your arm and you see a small puddle gathering below you, the cuts were deep but not life threatening so you brace yourself for more of this.

“You know you heard that story of me killing a man’s wife?” He huffs at your calmness.

“Yes.”

“I heard stories about your wife too. Where is she?“ His face grows dark and he punches you in the mouth, the taste of iron fills your mouth and your dart your tongue out to feel the tear in your lip that was the source of the blood.

“Shut your mouth you little cunt.” He storms over to the table and grabs both the taser and the lighter. You hold your breath in anticipation until he holds the small blowtorch at the arm that he hadn’t cut. You screeched at the sensation and started to thrash until you heard the sound of the taser being turned on, before you can react it’s being pressed to your stomach. You feel as if every nerve in your body is being set on fire at the same time as you convulse with the electric current, he doesn’t remove it for at least 5 seconds and by the time he does you're slumped as much as the handcuffs will allow, everything is spinning and your vision is shaky at best.

“You sent your wife to jail for your crimes. You’re a coward.” The look on his face was indescribable, you knew you had him where you wanted him.

Abby and Ellie were racing through the streets in Abby’s car following the gps to where your location said you were. Abby had slipped a tracker into your bag when you said you’d be going to kill the Met boss on your own. She knew you’d be angry at her for using one of your own trackers on you but she didn’t care, all she cared about was your safety. Her heart was in her throat and her mouth was dry as she drove as fast as her car could take her to you.

Ellie had messaged you to tell you that she’d be at Abby’s so Jeremy knew to pick her up from there but when the message went unanswered both their nerves spiked, Abby had been watching the stationary tracker since you got there but her nerves only got the best of her when it had been an hour and you still hadn’t moved.

“Get out of the fucking way.” Abby yelled at the drivers in front of her, not that it had an effect. There was traffic everywhere and she felt sick at the thought of you not being okay, she left a symphony of car horns honking behind her as she cut people off left right and centre.

“Abby up here take a left, we’re not that far now.” Abby spins the wheel to the left and the car skids round the corner. As they reached the destination your tracker said you were they both grabbed their hand guns that had silencers on them and jumped out.

They approached the house quietly and checked to see if the door was open but weren’t surprised to find it was locked, they walked round the back of the house and found an open window to climb through. They crept through the house checking each room with Abby leading and Ellie following behind watching their backs. They open a door to see 3 men sitting at a table playing poker and before the men could say anything Abby shot all three, they all fell and Abby took a step further into the room only to see you weren’t there either. She whipped her head round when she heard the quiet click followed by the subsequent whoosh of Ellie’s gun being fired twice, she rushed out to see two men dead on the floor on top of each other. Abby looked at Ellie who was just staring at them.

“You okay?”

“Yeah come on we gotta keep going.” Abby took the lead once again until they reached some stairs leading downwards. Abby turned to look at Ellie and they both shared the same look of hope and desperation. “I’m gonna go down there, stay here and keep watch?”

“Yeah yeah go.”

He lurched at you and as he got close enough you kneed him hard in the crotch and then pulled on the chain of your handcuffs and jumped upwards, you gripped your thighs round his neck and squeezed with all your might. He thrashed around but it only made you squeeze tighter, you watched as his lips turned blue and his eyes bulged out of his head, bloodshot and wide with fear. You squeezed harder one last time until you see the light fade from his eyes and feel him go limp against you, you untangled your legs from his neck and watched in amusement as he crumpled to the floor, it was only after watching him for a peaceful moment that you realised you were now stuck dangling from this pipe. You yank at it but it doesn’t budge unsurprisingly.

“Fuck.”

You’re standing staring at the unconscious man on the floor contemplating where to go from here when you hear a loud bash against the door, and another and another until the door slammed open as the wood splintered and cracked. You were sure it was one of his men but when you saw Abby standing in the doorway staring back at you and the man before you with a look that could only be described as relief your body relaxed and you exhaled the breath you hadn't realised you were holding.

“We came to help you but it looks like you’ve got everything covered here.” She gestures at the man on the floor and you laugh a little, the adrenaline that had been powering you was slowly dissipating and every movement hurt, you winced and she came rushing towards you.

“I actually had no idea what I was going to do from here so thank you.”

“Oh my god, did you just say… thank you?”

“Shut up and help me down.”

“There’s my girl.” She chuckles and starts looking around for something to get the handcuffs off but comes up unlucky. “Fuck it.” She grabs a crowbar she found and starts bashing it on the pipe until the section you’re attached to comes loose from the section next to it which sends you falling to the ground, though Abby catches you before you can. As she’s helping you to lean against her Ellie bursts into the room, the look of pure happiness as she sees you is wiped away by devastation evident all over her face when she notices your condition: a swollen cheekbone painted with purple and black as well as a small cut where the skin was broken open from the large ring you noticed on the man's finger, a split lip and a thick cut across your other cheekbone that was still dripping blood down your face, the circular burn mark on your chest and the large seeping cut going down your arm. She noticed the puddle of blood on the floor as well as the way you were trembling and her heart shattered at the sight.

“Come on we need to get out of here.” Ellie sounds rushed and Abby immediately scoops you into her arms, you put your still handcuffed hands over her head so you could hold onto her neck and her arms sat snug under the backs of your knees and around your back, encasing you in her arms.

“You ready?”

“No, I need to kill him.”

“Fine.” Abby puts you down but still keeps you propped up against her side, you grab the knife and the taser and kneel over him, jabbing the taser straight into his crotch and turning it on until he woke up, when he met your eyes you smiled and blew him a kiss, which looked a little comical because of the handcuffs still around your wrists, before slitting his throat from ear to ear, blood splattered out all over you and you felt euphoric. He choked and squirmed but as he went still and the life drained from his face you nodded at Abby and she scooped you up once again. Ellie stayed in front of you two as you rushed out of the house, by the time you reached Abby’s car your vision was blurry and everything was spinning, your injuries were catching up to you and you just wanted to sleep.

“El get in the back with her.” Abby placed you gently into the back of the car and Ellie followed suit as Abby jumped in the drivers seat and sped away back to yours.

Ellie gently manoeuvred you so you were leaning on her chest between her legs. You hadn’t noticed she was crying until you felt a tear drop onto your face from where she was hovering above you.

“Don’t cry, I’m okay.” Your voice was croaky and barely there but she heard you and nodded. She looked at Abby through the rearview mirror and saw the same worried expression knitted into Abby’s eyebrows.

“Can either of you do stitches?” They both stopped their tasks, Abby treating your burns with the first aid kit you had and Ellie cleaning the cuts that littered your body.

“Seriously?” Abby questioned.

“Yeah. It’s not a big deal if you can’t I just hate doing them on myself.”

“You are not giving yourself stitches.” Abby sounded annoyed but her face was a picture of disbelief.

“I’ve done it before and I did a first aid training course when I was 17. I’ll be fine.” You go to sit up but feel Ellie’s hand gently pushing you back down.

“Just stay still please, I will get you the stuff to do the stitches.” Ellie’s voice is soft but firm and you decide to listen considering all they did for you today. Ellie goes to the first aid kit and brings back everything you need. "Before I give this to you, I have to ask, how long ago were you 17?" You roll your eyes at her before realising what she was saying.

"Are you asking me how old I am?"

"Yes." Abby answers for her.

"I am 33. You're 36." You point at Abby then at Ellie. "And you're 34. Now can I please have that?" You gesture at the medical equipment in Ellie's hand with the finger that was already pointed in her direction, she hands it to you as Abby and her nod at each other in triumph that they finally got the answer to the question they were both wondering about earlier.

They both watch in horror as you stitch your cuts as quickly as you can, once you’re done you all breathe a sigh of relief and you sit quietly processing everything that happened today.

“How did you know where I was?” Abby’s cheeks immediately redden and she looks like a guilty child as she avoids eye contact.

“I tracked you.” You pause, taken aback but a smile grows on your face that even you take a second to register.

“Thank you. Both of you, you saved me from myself today. I shouldn’t have went alone but my arrogance is a fatal flaw.”

“You? Flawed? Pshhhh.” Ellie responds and your quirk an eyebrow at her. You all laugh and once they’ve finished treating your wounds they come to lay down next to you.

"Abby can you pass me my phone please I need to make some calls."

"I think you should rest."

"I will, but I need to ring Jeremy quickly. We need a plane to catch tomorrow don't we?"

"You can book us onto the next flight tomorrow." Ellie chimes in.

"I'm not booking a flight, I need Jeremy to make sure the jet is ready to fly tomorrow."

"The jet?" They say in unison.

"Do you actually think I would fly on a public plane? How would I even do that when I'm officially dead?" They laugh at the snobby tone of your voice but also realised you had a point. Abby gets your phone for you and you ring Jeremy to explain, he confirms everything will be ready for you tomorrow so you thank him and end the call.

"I hope you've had fun in the city because we are never coming back."

"Anywhere with you is better." Abby whispers.

"We'd follow you to the ends of the earth." Ellie adds.

You don't reply, simply choosing to kiss both their lips but all you keep thinking, with a sick smile on your face, is:

'I know.'

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lethargicmouse · 2 months

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tell us your favorites everlark fics

Thanks for the ask!! They make me very excited lol. I honestly don’t read a lot of everlark lol, I’m more of a hayeffie fan with a side of everlark. Just becuase I feel like mother Suzanne did a good job with them in the books. But truly, a lot of my fav hayeffie ships are from either Peeta or Katniss’ perspective.

The ones listed here are mostly post epilogue (:

( I lied they are all post epilogue.)

this is the first day of my life by sam_writes_fics @sam-loves-seb ----> "It’s not perfect. None of them are perfect. But that’s not the point. // katniss and peeta and haymitch and effie and their life after everything;" I LOVE THIS IT WAS GOOD

You Are in Love (Everlark's Version) by bored_author ---> "A collection of one-shots about Katniss and Peeta working through their traumas, together." This is probably the most everlark one on here. It was cute

The Team Trap by EllanaSan @ellainthetardis (my queen omg) ---> "'What’s the very good reason that’ll get her to come?/ Katniss asked. Peeta was silent for a moment, his hand stilled on her back. 'It involves a technical white lie.' In her experience, lies were hardly ever technical or white." I love EllanaSan with my entire heart.

End of the World by FernWithy ---> Ok this is a very Haymitch centered series but it literally rocked my world and I think everyone needs to read this. There is some awesome POV's of characters you rarely hear from. Delly gets the spotlight she deserves and Peets gets it, too. It's a wonderful, long read that I'd highly reccomend.

Sorry there isn't more! I have lots of other fics that I really enjoy that are from Peeta or Katniss' view that are just more Hayeffie centric (linked under the line (: ), I tried to pull the more Everlark ones for you !

they got no idea (about me and you) by fckingpoetry ---> "peeta looks for advice on how to keep katniss safe in the arena and walks in on haymitch and effie sleeping in the same bed." I cannot stress how much I love this author. And any fic where the kids find out about Effie and Haymitch makes me giggle.

The Clue in the Yoghurt by EllanaSan ---> "In retrospect, Haymitch should have known something was up the morning he walked into his kitchen, rubbing his face to chase the remnants of sleep, and found Katniss pilfering his fridge." So silly, Katniss accidental pregnancy and it makes me smile to see hayeffie acting like the parents they are.

Sprinkled on Your Life by KarlyBING ---> "With all her silliness, shallowness, and overbearing ways, Effie had still cried while holding her after coming back from the arena, she was the one to publicly unite them during the Quell, cared for her during a war, braided her hair when she was too depressed to do it herself, made her wedding dress out of worn cotton shirts and second-hand wool, held her hands after delivering her first child, changed diapers at 3 am so Peeta and her could sleep a couple more hours, taught her children how to say please and thank you, and still made her hot chocolate every rainy day without even having to ask." I cried. So much. For only 1,801 words. A nice look at mama!Effie and darling Katniss.

that which resembles a grave (but isn't) by ifonlyiwasawriter ---> "Haymitch finds Katniss covered in dirt in his backyard; there is an explanation for this, but not one that either of them likes." Haymitch and Katniss, lovely very traumatized father and very traumatized daughter bonding.

Any way I love Haymitch and Effie goodnight !

#my 2nd fav found family #I adore them all #haymitch abernathy #the hunger games #effie trinket #hayeffie #haymitch abernathy x effie trinket #thg haymitch #haymitch x effie #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #katniss and peeta #the hunger games peeta #katniss x peeta #katniss everdeen x peeta mellark #everlark

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mamaestapa · 11 months

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Epilogue: Nine Months

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/N Y/L/N moved to Cincinnati, Ohio for a new start. Move in day arrives and she discovers something terrible...the apartment complex gave her the wrong lease. Instead of living with who she originally was supposed to, she's now living with the hottest quarterback in the NFL, Joe Burrow. Y/N is stuck living in the same apartment with him for a year...which the two are not thrilled about. However, as time goes on, they realize that maybe this wasn't the worst thing that could happen to them. Will Y/N and Joe stay enemies, or will they find themselves falling in love?

•chapter summary: Instagram posts and stories from the past nine months of yours and Joe's life. A great way to wrap up the end of this series❤️

•word count: 1k

•warnings: pregnancy, childbirth, lots of fluff. Witney Carson, Lindsay Arnold, and Sadie Robertson are the face claims for these posts :)

series masterlist

——————————————————

November 2023-May 2024

November 20, 2023

liked by bengals, itsmemacee, and 879,990 others

tagged: @yourusername @joeyb_9

yourusername and joeyb_9- Unexpected, but so, so loved. Baby girl coming April 2024🩷

comments:

bengals- A BABY BENGAL!!!

burrowsbae- I am SOBBING

nfl- Congratulations!

joeyb_9- 🩷🩷

robinburrow- SO excited to meet her!!!!❤️❤️❤️

itsmemacee- Can't wait to spoil this sweet babe🥰

joeburrowfan- NOOOO. That's enough social media for me today.

erinandrews- This is so exciting!! Cannot wait to meet her😍

y/njoestan- I CALLED IT. SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS😭❤️

shiestysbae-i need like four margs and five business days to recover from this news

traviskelce- Congrats y'all!

lahjay10_- Welcome to the daddy club Joey B

jblova- @lahjay10_ Joe's always been in the daddy club wym

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December 12, 2023

@yourusername instagram story

story replies:

itsmemacee reposted second slide:

itsmemacee- cant wait to see baby girl in those outfits!!🥹

y/njoestan reposted first slide:

y/njoestan- omg the bump😭

jb9lover reposted first slide:

jb9lover- I CANT. this is too cute.

January 10, 2024

@yourusername instagram story

story replies:

joeyb_9 reposted story

joeyb_9- I’ve yet to feel her kick

bengalsbabe reposted story

joebrrr reposted story

joebrrr- this is so cute wtf

yourinstagram reposted joeyb_9 story

yourinstagram- she’s just a lil shy

February 14, 2024

liked by samhubbard, yourusername, and 500,009 others

tagged: @yourusername

joeyb_9- Best Valentine's Day yet.

comments:

yourusername- The perfect day. I love you sooo much❤️

burrowsbae- Joe posting on V-day? Y/n must feel so special rn

bengals- Happy Valentine's Dey!

samhubbard- Enjoy your day with the girls, Joe!

shiestysbae- sometimes i forget she's pregnant lol

body_by_hollyyy- Joe🥹 This is SO CUTE😭🩷

joeyb-9- @yourusername ❤️

robinburrow- Miss you three!❤️❤️❤️ (and Bean)

yourmomsusername- Y/n/n, you are glowing!! Miss you sweetie. Happy Valentine's Day to you and Y/n!❤️

alisonkuch- I've haven't been this excited for a baby to be born since ours. Our babies will be besties🤍

teehiggins- Counting down the days...

loganwilsonlb- @teehiggins We all are. So impatient to meet her

emhubbard- @yourusername I think these guys are more excited to meet this baby than you and Joe😂🩷

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February 22, 2024

@yourusername instagram story

story replies:

joeyb_9 reposted story

joeyb_9- ❤️

y/nandjoeupdates reposted story

y/nandjoeupdates- Joe and Y/n saw their girl today!🥰

labjay10_ reposted story

lahjay10_- @joeyb_9 girl already looks like you

March 10, 2024

liked by emhubbard, body_by_hollyyy and 204,119 others

yourusername- My heart is so full. Had the best day celebrating Baby Burrow with the best people. She is already so loved!🩷

comments:

emhubbard- Such a fun day!

itsmemacee- So fun celebrating you and the little lady🩷 You’re going to be the best mama!

robinburrow- We’re ready for you baby girl!!!!❤️

burrow.updates- Looks like a fun day, Y/n! Where’s Joe?

body_by_hollyyy- Literally the BEST day!!! Can’t wait to meet the sweet little lady!!🥹🩷

joeyb_9- She’s already so spoiled.

cincystyles- Beautiful baby shower, Y/n! Hope you enjoyed the clothes we sent for your sweet girl🩷

brittwill- So cute!!

samhubbard- While y’all were having fun…the rest of us were putting a nursery together. She’s already got all of us wrapped around her finger!

yourusername- @samhubbard @loganwilsonlb @teehiggins @lahjay10_ thanks for helping Joe!😉

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April 17, 2024

@yourusername instagram story

story replies have been turned off

April 24, 2024

@joeyb_9 instagram story

story replies:

joeburrow9fan reposted story

joeburrow9fan- Baby Burrow is here AND Joe and Y/n are engaged!! Congratulations🎉

yourusername reposted first slide

yourusername- My little family❤️

bengals.updates reposted story

bengals.updates- Joe is a dad AND he’s engaged! So happy for these two.

April 28, 2024

liked by loganwilsonlb, nfl, and 900,000 others

tagged: @yourusername @joeyb_9

yourusername and joeyb_9- Josie Lee Burrow🤍 04/24/24

comments:

robinburrow- My beautiful granddaughter!! We love you Josie🩷

bengals- Welcome to the Jungle, Josie!🐯❤️

loganwilsonlb- Congrats guys! She’s beautiful.

itsmemacee- She is the sweetest!!! Congratulations you two!❤️

emhubbard- Josie girl! Cant wait to meet her❤️

shiestysbae- SHES SO CUTE

jb9lova- SOBBING. Congratulations!!!🥹

heykayadams- What a cutie!!

nbsmallerbear- Congrats Joe and Y/n!

lsufootball- Congrats! (and Geaux Tigers)🐯🩷

lahjay10_- I can't believe ur a daddy @joeyb_9

patrickmahomes- Congrats!❤️

body_by_hollyyy- JOSIE LEE!!😭🩷 She is TOO cute, congratulations guys!!🥹

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May 1, 2024

@yourusername Instagram story

story replies:

bengalsbabe reposted story

bengalsbabe- I just KNOW the tumblr girlies are losing it rn over this pic

joeyb_9 reposted story

joeyb_9- How I'm spending my off-season...❤️

May 4, 2024

liked by bengals, yourusername, and 455,090 others

tagged: @yourusername

joeyb_9- My girls (not pictured: Bean, who is also included in that).

comments:

yourusername- We love you so much Joe❤️

joeburrowfan- look at those little blue eyes🥹

susieevans- So sweet!

beanburrow- Mom and baby sister🥹

bengals- Best girl dad🩷

carolthelandlord- I remember when the two of you came to my office and begged for me to do something about your lease...you hated each other for a while LOL. It makes my heart so happy seeing the two of you together with a baby❤️ cray how much changes in a year!

robinburrow- Such beautiful girls! You are one lucky guy, Joe❤️

christenharper- My heart🤍

itsmemacee- I don't think I've ever been so happy for two people! You, Y/n, and Josie are the perfect little family🥰

bengalsbabe- I am so happy for them. Joe deserves this so much

joeyb_9- @yourusername and I love you and Josie

joeburrowupdates- And they lived happily ever after...😉

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hey loves!

i wanted to do this as an epilogue instead of a written chapter. i thought it would be sweet! plus, i had some anons ask for a couple more instagram posts before i finished the series :)

so, it’s official, welcome to the jungle is COMPLETE!!

if some people are interested, I may write some little imagines to go along with this series! like instagram posts, written imagines--from any timeline in this series. so if you have an idea for a little imagine post Josie or something for when Joe and Y/n were still roommates, i'll happily write it ;)

i already wrote the long thank you paragraph in the previous chapter, so i’ll save your time. but i just want to say thank you again. thank you so much for all of the love, support and encouragement you all have given me as i wrote this series. it was a blast and i’m so glad you all enjoyed it as much as i did!🤍🤍

tags: @jackharlow @ilovejoeburroww @dandelionwrites8 @ijustcrypretty @sinners-98-world @a-moment-captured @stainednailpolishremover @spooky-stoner @xoxokiaraaxoxo @kkrenae @hallecarey1 @jordyn14

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #welcome to the jungle #joe burrow series #joe burrow fic

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thatone-brightstar · 1 year

Text

The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 12: A Carmy shade of blue

Words: 7.4k

Summary: It all comes down to this...

a/n: I made Fox’s set and it came out so good omg! Can we please talk about the dedication! Also I’m posting the Epilogue right after this one so enjoys both and remember comments are always appreciated!

Ps. reader is Latina in this so there will be some Spanish!

‘You can do this. You can totally do this. You don’t have to talk to him, just show up.’

You had been trying to psych yourself up for the better part of the last half hour. After clipping on your earring and fixing the curly pieces of hair that frame your face, you thought you’d feel brave enough to move. But your legs stayed locked in place, tightly knotted over the vanity stool that had started to dig into the sides of your bare thighs.

The bubbling nerves had you doubting all your decisions. The dress didn’t seem appropriate so you changed, then your makeup felt cakey so you rinsed it off and started over. The necklace was too small, the hoops too big, the urge to call Carmy too grand and the noise from the living room too overstimulating. Between the volume on the stereo and your aunts’ joyous laugh, the thin walls didn’t stand a chance and neither did the vibrating pulse in your skull.

You finally push yourself off the stool and stalk past the hallway to the kitchen, slamming your door in the process. The circle of heads turn in your direction as you appear in the space, each sister cradling a glass of wine in their hands.

“Mamá -mamita- por favor, can you turn that shit down!” You say louder than intended and you know you fucked up just from the look on her face.

“Que te dije de azotar puertas en mi casa, eh?! Cuando vivas en tu casa entonces-”

“-puedes hacer lo que se te dé la gana-” You recite over her words, rolling your eyes and causing the nerves to pound harder in the back of them. “Yes, I know, mami but can you please just turn it down? My head is killing me…”

“Okay- okay. Ya, see? It’s down.” She says, making a show of pointing the control to the stereo and lowering the volume to the lowest. “What, are you hungover again?”

You drag yourself around the counter to greet your aunts with a kiss, then take the empty space beside your mother and rest your aching head over her shoulder. “No, I haven’t gone out… It’s probably just my period, I dunno. Y mi abuelo?” You ask and rub at the empty space between your brows.

“Playing cards with his friends.” Angie answers, picking at the platter they had set in the middle of their circle. “You sure you’re not pregnant?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that!?”

“Ay dios, pues maybe cause you’re all moody!” Tere adds.

“Maybe cause I’m nervous!”

“Then that’s why your head hurts…” Your mother says as she gently runs her fingers through the soft curls. Then she laughs out of nowhere. “Remember that time in the school choir, when you had the solo and you were so nervous you-” She’s laughing too hard to finish and the echo of all three only makes you groan.

You pull your head from her shoulder and rest it over your palm with your elbow on the cool surface of the counter. “One: I was like five, and two, you remember that but can’t stop calling me ‘mijo’ every time I walk into a room?”

Her laughter dies down as she waves her hand dismissively and takes a drink from her glass. “You two have the same stride, it's not my fault!”

“So what are you nervous about?” Tere changes the subject while she peels the skin off her grape.

“She’s nervous to see her ex..” Your mother answers, as if you weren’t in the room to speak for yourself.

“Ay, el de los ojitos?” Angie asks surprised. “I like him, he’s cute.”

“Y’know who I like? The other one- the tall one-, give me two more glasses and I’ll climb ‘em like a tree-”

“Ma ya!” You call out with a grossed out expression, trying to avoid the mental picture of your mother and Richie from even materializing in your head.

“Qué? How do you think you got here!?” She says between the chorus of chuckles.

‘Jesus, fuck’ You think and shudder, then take the wine glass from her hand and down the rest of the liquid that successfully drowns your nerves.

With the soft music floating in the air, Angie takes the bottle and pours a hefty amount of liquid into the glass in your hands.

“So, boy troubles?” She asks, only receiving a nod from your part, eyes fixed on the swirling maroon.

“He’s catering tonight and we didn’t really… end things on a good note.”

“So what? This is your day too and you can’t let a little fight get in the way…”

You don’t have the time or energy to entertain them with the whole story of your failed situation with Carmy. They know about the car crash but not the bridge or of Mikey and the last thing you need is all three finding out over wine and a cheeseboard.

“I just won’t go, it’s easier like that…” You take another sip. “I’ll stay with you guys instead.”

“Ah-ah, no. Mira-” Your mother grabs a hold of your knees and turns your body to face her. “Mi amor, if you stay cause you’re nervous that’s fine, your painting’s will still be there. But you can’t stay just cause you’re scared you might see him.” Her hand feels warm and soft over your knees.

“I feel like I fucked it up worse with what I said yesterday…” You confess to the women and even when you thought your eyes had gone dry, a few drops seem to accumulate on your bottom lid. “What if that was it, what if the last thing I told him was to get his shit together…”

“Then you were telling him what he needed to hear. You said it because you care, not because you wanted to hurt him and if he can’t tell the difference, then you did the right thing by stepping off that train early.” She wraps one arm around your shoulders and pulls you to her side. “But you won’t know if it works out unless you go…”

A hefty sigh rattles your lungs, the wisp of your mother’s familiar perfume filters through your nostrils and calms you down better than the wine ever could. She was right, you couldn’t go through life scared that you might run into him all the time. This was more important to you than having to hide from him, no matter how things had ended.

“Now I know I raised a bad bitch not a little one, asi que andale, finish getting ready or you’ll be late-” A soft laugh bubbles in your throat as she playfully shoves you off the stool and in the direction to your room, turning up the volume again once you’re gone.

“And show us the look before you go!” You hear your aunt Angie’s voice bounce through the hallway.

**********

The whole 24 hours leading up to the auction felt like a fever dream for Carmy. Since the moment you fled the grounds with bloodshot eyes, to the obscene amount of cash they kept pulling out of canned tomatoes, he had felt not at all there. In a daze, flashes of blurred out scenes from a third perspective take the space of memories every time he tries to recall. Like a long ago dream that he can’t quite make out if it’s real or not. Except it is, and they did find that money… and he also did break your heart.

He still remembers the overwhelming impulse that itched under his skin with every empty can that was thrown into the garbage. To reach for his phone and call you, or better yet, to drive to your place and back because there was no way in hell you would believe him if you didn’t see it for yourself. Even at the end of the day- when he was home washing out the thick pulp from under every fingernail- he wondered if he could still try. Run to your house and confess how much of an asshole he was for not noticing the shit he put you through. Girls dig that shit, right?

But even if he did run after you now, what would he say? He already proved himself incompetent word-wise, inside the walk-in. The surprise to see you again had rendered him speechless, as if an ice cube had been dropped down his shirt and he had no other choice but to pretend like the cold wasn’t piercing his skin. Pretend with tight fists and wavering stares like it wasn’t eating him alive to refrain from pulling you into his arms. The plain touch of your skin as he nursed your wound was enough to rile up weeks’ worth of shrouded emotions he was too afraid to confess, because every time he tried dialing your number, the words would constrict his throat and leave him heaving over the bathroom sink.

“I still don’t understand why we gotta wear this…”

“I think we look fine as hell!” Marcus says grinning and checking himself out in the dull reflection of the oven. “Like professionals…”

“Speak for yourself, mine’s all itchy.” Sweeps mutters under his tone while pulling around the neck of his new chef’s coat.

“Alright, take ‘em off before you stain ‘em with something.” Sydney calls from the entrance with an impatient motion in her hands. “They’re for the event tonight, so we actually look put together and not- well, whatever this is...”

“..Cute?”

“..Sexy?”

“Late. We’re gonna be late, if you don’t quit messing around and finish filling up the truck!” They both yell a hard ‘Yes, Chef!’ then continue hauling the plastic boxes with the preparations for the evening into the van Syd had borrowed from one of her cousins.

Carmen watches half concentrated to make sure that nothing is thrown around, although he trusts them enough to know they’ll be careful. Instead, he’s focused his attention on finishing the last of the sauces, a sweet Demi Glacé that he insisted on making himself. Now that they would be closing for renovations and the tension of staying afloat wasn’t straining his back, he enjoyed every second of the process. Cooking didn’t feel like something he had to do anymore, but something he wanted to as well as enjoyed, and he wasn’t sure how long it had been since the last time he felt that way. He did know, but the images carried a bitter sensation that weighed thick on his mouth and he was trying excruciatingly hard to stay above his regular broody mood.

“Yo, chef, you not comin’ with?” Marcus asks once they’ve compacted everything inside the small van.

“No, I -uhm-” Fuck. He swallows hard and tries to rack his brain for any plausible excuse. “-I trust you can manage.”

A groan echoes through the small space. “If you’re a little bitch just say that!” Tina chimes in with a mocking tone, setting down the tall metal cylinder filled with spoons and tongs that they’d be using for that night.

“T, c’mon-”

“Yeah, man just say that, don’t bruise my ego like that!”

“I’m not a little-”

“You gotta fight for love, man!”

“Even if she rejects you again-”

“Alright, shut up for a sec-” He grips the edge of the table in irritation, head hanging low. “Not that it’s any of your business, but I broke it off, okay?”

The words feel wrong as they tumble from his mouth. Not because of what they might say, if anything they were the few people he trusted most in the place, but something inside him didn’t like the sensation the words unearthed. They made his chest wither and crack, like the clay you had used to cover his fissures was popping off with every reminder of your absence.

“...Why?” Marcus asks, breaking the silence.

Carmy doesn’t answer, and even if he wanted to he wouldn’t know what to say. He chooses to shrug instead, heavy and noticeable in hopes that this is a sufficient response that will get them off his back.

Tina takes a step closer and reaches out to softly pat his shoulder. “No offense Carm, but I don’t think you’ll be able to pull anyone better than her…”

Her words rip a soft snigger from his throat, from his side view he watches her pick up the cylinder again and walk to the back where he assumes the rest of the team awaits by the van.

Marcus stays beside him, contemplating the words around before letting them out. “Shit got rough, then?”

“That's an understatement” He mutters through bared teeth as he fears another word will split the last piece of clay holding him together.

“My statement still stands… Shit gets rough for everybody but that doesn't mean you gotta go through it alone… just sayin’.”

Marcus pushes himself off the table to leave, taking the sauce with him and leaving Carmy with his tumultuous thoughts in the restaurant that hadn’t known this much peace since its opening day.

**********

The typically calm ambience of the gallery had been replaced by the buzzing sounds of chatter and movements as the last details were polished with only a few hours to the opening. You had been in a hectic frenzy since your arrival, only finally catching your breath when you were certain everything was where it needed to be. The decorations sat strategically by the entrance and away from the attention of the artwork, clipboards and pens had been placed for whoever wanted to bid and the bar stations had been successfully assembled around the perimeter of the room.

“Thanks again for the help, I owe you one.” You say as you help carry the last box of champagne bottles to one of the bars.

“No prob, to be honest I’m just here for the free booze-” Nico answers with a grunt, picking the box from your hands and taking the bottles out to chill in ice.

“As opposed to what? The other free booze at your regular gig?” You ask your cousin in a teasing tone.

“Hey, just cause I drink it, don’t make it free.”

“Just try not to black out, okay? Angie ’ll kill me if I let you drive home like that!”

You hear a mocking ‘Yeah, yeah’ as you leave him to go open the back door for Syd, after reading the text from Marcus that they had arrived. The floor feels slightly unstable as you walk past the back, to the door that leads onto the side alley, but you credit it to the irritating thought that it may be Carmen’s face that you’ll see once you open the door.

A sigh of relief- and partial disappointment- parts from you at the sight of Marcus and Sweeps dragging out a long white cooler from the back of a beated van, but no Carmy in sight. They both greet you quickly as you guide them into the area they’ll be occupying temporarily. It’s the same space your easels had been standing in for the last month, though the only evidence of it were the small stains and smudges of cyan and teal on the gray concrete.

“There are another two tables up front, by the expo, so you can serve up there. This one’s just for like, mise en place, if you need anything from scratch.” You say to Syd while the rest of the team finish unpacking.

“Yeah. no this is fine. We finished everything this morning. I only brought a portable burner for a few of the sauces, but other than that, we’re set.”

You nod in response as you watch them observe their surroundings in awe, the multiple rows of never ending art catching their attention.

“Sorry for bailing like that… yesterday.” You blurt out as the words seem to catapult straight from your guilt. “It was a dick move.”

Syd acknowledges it with her own nod. “It was a dick move- but, y’know… I get it.” She shrugs.

Your throat itches to ask about him, if he’s considered coming, even with the excuse to check up on them. But you know that regardless of the answer, the pressure over your chest won’t subside, so you resign to bite the soft flesh inside your mouth to keep the words at bay.

“Uhm. well let me know if you need anything. The whole thing starts in an hour so just make sure to have everything over by the tables by then.”

A chorus of ‘Heard’s resonates in the large space and Syd turns to you with a proud smile, wiggling her brows. You give her an enthusiastic thumbs up before stepping back and out into the busy room, striding directly into Nico’s bar.

“Pour me a glass, will ya?” You ask with a soft knock on the counter, applying pressure between your brows.

“Bro, I haven’t even opened anything yet…” You stare up at him through incredulous slits, earning a sigh from his part, then he pulls an open champagne bottle from the small fridge and a glass.

As soon as he sets it down, you take it and rapidly chug the amber liquid, bubbles burning the sides of your throat and filling in the void in your chest.

“Woah, woah- cousin! We’re not gonna run out, chill…”

You place the glass back down and wipe the corners of your mouth. “Sorry, I really needed that.”

“You good?”

“Yeah… yeah.” You sigh, then turn to scan the room one last time.

Past the glass walls, you can see a small crowd already beginning to form at the entrance. The culmination of months of hard work stands behind the transparent barrier, and a part of you can’t help but to think of all the ways tonight could go wrong. ‘What if the lights go off in the middle of the event?’ or ‘What if the whole thing blows over and we don’t raise any funds?’ and the worst of all ‘What if no one likes my work and they’re the only ones that don’t sell?’.

“You sure?” He asks with a creased brow. “You’re kinda hyperventilating…”

“Yeah…” You say for the third time, less convinced than the first two. “Y’know what, Nico can you pour-”

“-Way ahead of you.” The soft sizzling of the drink is muted by the instrumental music playing over the speakers, but you still hear the glass slide by your palm, where it rests over the cool surface.

You know it’s a bad idea to drink two glasses straight, especially when all you’ve had to eat is a granola bar you found at the bottom of your bag on the train ride there, but the thought is soon chased away by the cooling liquid trickling down to your empty stomach and drowning it completely. You only finish half of it before being whisked away by Syd to help with setting their station.

With a pair of latex gloves and your hair thrown into a bun, you paint streaks of raspberry coulis along the bottom of the small dishes, then above that, you place the small tapas that Marcus is assembling beside you. The alcohol has calmed your fingers enough to draw steady lines over the canvas and the repetitive actions soothe the wavering anxiety.

“They turned out fire…” Marcus comments by your side.

“Hmm?”

“The Brioche bites. The chai filling was a good call.”

“Oh, right- yeah, I’m glad!”

“Can’t wait for you to try them, chef. These things are gonna fly!” His excitement is contagious and you can’t help but to smile up at him too.

“I’ll definitely try one before they do…”

“I saw your set by the way, on my way here…”

You swallow dryly, flicking your gaze to him from your hunched position then back to your task.

“Yeah? And, uh, w-what did you think?”

Marcus shrugs lightly and stands to his full height, even in your heels you barely reach his shoulder, let alone without them. Everytime you stand beside him, you’re reminded to straighten your posture, as if that’ll do any good in stretching you up.

“I don’t know shit about art, but I thought it was baller. I like what you did to The Beef. I’d bid, y’know… if I had any money.”

You nod slowly with a slight smile flourishing on your face and turn back down to fill up a tray for one of the waiters.

With most of your concentration on the kaleidoscope of served plates, you don’t notice the room starting to slowly fill up. Only when the music grows a little louder and the chatter reaches your ears, you lift your head to spot the swaying crowd already holding bubbling flutes in their hands and gravitating in your direction.

“Think you can manage, chef? Or do I call for backup?” You challenge Marcus, pointing with your head to the oncoming group.

“Nah, I’m all good, you go ahead. Run ‘em dry”

“Yes, chef” You respond with a salute and a click of our tongue, then throw your apron under the table and cautiously round it on your way to the open space.

It wasn’t as bad as you assumed it would be. Once you broke through the initial awkwardness of having to answer questions about some of the pieces, it all seemed to flow naturally. You had the most knowledge about them, after all. Months of planning and studying the best layout for each work had you inevitably remembering details that hadn’t seemed useful until now. You could gladly keep answering questions all night if it meant keeping your thoughts shut and your mouth busy.

You avoid your set like an active minefield, though. Now that you think about it, you’ve only seen it complete once -two weeks ago when you finished it- around three in the morning and slightly high. It was the only way you were able to do it without throwing up and turning into an angry sobbing mess. It was also the only set you didn’t hang up yourself, asking instead two of your coworkers for help while you stood outside with the cigarettes you had recently picked up again. In a way it was intentional. You had poured the most turbulent contents of your soul into each stroke, plastered it in the open for everyone to see and dissect. You didn’t want to see it in fear of hating how exposed you felt and pulling the plug. You do wonder. What it may look like under the dimmed lights, if the colors swirl with the shades you intended or if they fall flat against the canvas with no real sentiment.

The memory of the five paintings laying side by side is a bit foggy in your head and you bite your lip as your feet guide you deeper inside the maze you’ve been avoiding.

You stop by a wall that harbors your student’s final projects and the dread is momentarily overshadowed by pride. Each painting has its own bidding sheet, it’s not part of the actual auction of course, but it helps boost their morale. Before leaving, you take a closer look at the lists and smile as you read the name of the respective parent, along with the copious sum they wanted to ‘offer’ for their child’s work.

A faint wave of insecurity stirs inside as you spot a sparse crowd discussing technique and motivations of the artist and you gulp down a bit of the liquid in what has become your emotional support glass.

“I think it’s too obvious…”

“Is it? Really? How so?”

“It’s obviously the crashing result capitalism has had on the smaller businesses of the city…”

“You definitely just made that up-”

A gentle snort blows over the rim of your glass while overhearing the stranger’s conversation. Your heels click softly as you settle by the back wall and eventually drag your eyes up to the five frames. Swirls of pearl, browns and aquamarine decorate the desolate icy blue eyes of a grizzly as it stares directly past the canvas. The sorrow has fallen heavy over droopy lids, patches of ash scatter over its matted fur. Under the large canvas, another three smaller ones depict angry oranges and blood reds swallowing up a pot, a stove top and ultimately engulfing the whole perimeters of The Beef.

The last painting spreads across the bottom of the smaller ones, same dimensions as The Bear. It sits cleaner, in faux composure, with defined lines around the borders of a stainless steel counter observed from the front. A mess of open bottles and jars rests beside a dish, meticulous yet chaotically plated. Splashes of a thick orange sauce invade the surface under a perfectly cooked salmon. It contrasts with the mess surrounding it as it seems like every tiny herb was tweezed on to every spot with perfection. It’s perfect.

Too perfect. As if it were trying to disguise a deeply rooted impotence, impostor syndrome. An anxiety that is blatantly obvious in the cinder-patched arms that finish plating the dish, fingers gripping onto the steel utensils for dear, dear life. The small letters ‘S.O.U’ are barely visible under the black soot and repeat a second time over a thick line of green tape along the counter line.

Your ribs rattle with a deep inhale as you knock back the remaining liquid. The crowd in front of you sways in thick groups that momentarily cloud your view of the pieces, giving you seconds to breathe before the piercing eyes you tried to replicate wash over you again. It’s until the bodies disperse, that you catch an unnervingly familiar back leaning down to scribble something on your sheet, then rising and walking in the opposite direction to you. The sensation you feel can only be compared to slowly climbing up the rails of a roller coaster, as if the pit of your stomach had been stuck on land while you crawled up the treacherous metal.

You place the empty glass on the tray of a waiter passing by and despite the alarms ringing in your head that your actions would only cause more harm, you force your stiff legs to move in the direction of your work. With shaky hands you pick up the sheet to inspect the name. An eerie chill claws at your arms and you grip on to the flimsy material with all your strength or you fear you might collapse in front of everyone. In a recognizable cursive- taunting you motionlessly- sits the name ‘Isaac H.’ bidding six thousand dollars. One for each month you spent together. For each fucking month he made you believe he loved you, the sick fuck.

The panic in your veins turns to anger, hot and scolding, traveling at light speed and triggering your neck to check around the space for the familiar face. You’re moved by hatred, stalking out of the maze with the crumbled page digging into your wounded fist, still searching around. A familiar head swims through the crowd then disappears past the door. Your heels click again in the direction of the entrance, throwing the ball of paper into one of the trash cans on your way out. The rage boils too heavily and you have every intention to smack your fist in his face until your rings leave a dent, once you spot him outside.

However, he’s not alone. There’s a girl with him, lovingly hanging on to his arm. It’s not his wife, but someone that closely resembles you from a distance. From the same hair length to stature and the complexion of her skin. It’s a strange mirage that has your steps faltering to a stop and wanting to rub your eyes in hopes that it may all be in your head. She steps up on her toes to leave a kiss on his cheek with a small giggle when his arm pulls her closer to him.

“Oh, you poor thing..” You expect the blatant display to stir your insides in memory, yet pity is the only emotion that seems present over your screwed brows. Pity and shame, that you could not notice how fucked up he truly was so long ago.

You have half a mind to call out to the girl and save her from a similar fate to yours, but before you can, they’re hailing a cab and leaving in the opposite direction to the gallery. A heavy sigh escapes you and you soon find yourself pulling the beaten package and lighter from your cleavage for the third time tonight.

Goosebumps rise on your skin from the evening air as you walk further away from the door, blowing smoke into the light breeze. You rest your exposed back over the cold glass wall, eyes focused on the passing cars and only moving mechanically to take a drag every few seconds while your other hand unconsciously fidgets with the lighter.

You feel exhausted, the bulk that hovered over your shoulders all through the day finally falling over them like a weighted blanket, rendering you still and heavy against the glass. You thought that seeing Isaac might have made you want to cry, but your exhaustion is far beyond physical at this point and your eyes have grown tired above all else. You rub your finger in the center of your brows, careful to not crush the cig resting between them.

The low hum of the music playing past the glass lulls you into a state of calmness while you finish your cigarette, hot skin enjoying the soft breeze that comes in through the river.

“Shit-ah-” You hiss and look down to your hand, where the embers have caught up with the filter and nibbled at the delicate layer of skin, the throb makes you drop the bud to the ground. You inspect the small burn, then turn your palm up to see the uncovered cut that Carmy had nursed the evening before and another hefty sigh mixes with the wind. It feels like all you ever do is sigh nowadays.

With the slight lightheadedness of the nicotine and the booze floating in your system, you push your body off the glass and slowly walk back into the gallery in hopes that the event will end soon. As you make your way past the doors, one of the other coordinators tells you that someone interested in purchasing your paintings is waiting by them and for a second your blood runs cold at the thought that Isaac might have come back. But the idea soon falls through, when your eyes try to adjust to the change in lighting and you’re greeted by the blurry image of Carmen.

He stands with all his undivided attention towards the pieces in front of him, with a bouquet of red flowers hanging from his hand and you think that- despite everything else in the day- this is definitely the moment that’ll give you a heart attack. He’s wearing his chef whites, like the one the team is currently sporting, but he looks completely different from that one picture you had seen of him, with his sullen eyes and glossy hair. You swallow hard and deep, eyes racking the flexing muscles that now seem too noticeable under the white material. His sleeves are rolled up, letting the few tattoos peek out from under and his hair holds the messy curls that make your fingers twitch with want.

You stop in your tracks once you’ve spotted him, but don’t take your eyes away from his form, afraid that his presence is only a fiction of your tired imagination. It’s only when his attention is ripped from the frames and directed towards you, that your legs seem to gravitate without option towards him. There’s a mixture of emotions blending with the champagne in your system that makes your breath ragged and your skin hot despite the cold air invading the large room.

Your steps are cautious and after what feels like eternal seconds of anguish, you’re standing by his side, the heat radiating from his body matching your own.

“Hey…” He breathes out.

“Uh… hi.”

“I-uh- I know you’re supposed to get, like, flowers for actors and stuff but… didn’t know what to get for artists…” He speaks while lifting up the bouquet of what you can now distinguish as red carnations, fresh and full ones that make your heart grow too big inside your chest.

You nod your head slowly to acknowledge them but don’t speak, afraid the little control you have left will evaporate into thin air with your words, the sight of his soft baby blues already have you like a fly to a Venus.

“This is…” His eyes fall back to the wall, scanning over the frames in awe as you fidget with your fingers by your sides. “..a-amazing.” Then he takes a closer look at the bottom painting, brows slightly creased. “You… painted me?” He asks surprised

You shrug and point to one of the smaller frames. “I also painted The Beef on fire…”

“I almost did set The Beef on fire-”

“What?”

“-O-on accident.”

You sigh out the heavy breath trapped in your chest, shoulders slouched in defeat. “Carmy…” His name feels at home over your lips, sweet honey suckles coating each syllable.

“I know, I really suck at this, just… gimme a sec-” He scratches the ghost of an itch over his forehead, more out of habit as he scrunches his eyes shut and searches his brain for the words that have been circling inside since last night.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you- and it was a complete dick move to react like that when all you did was try to tell me something important. I’m sorry for… everything. For thinking that you were only with me cause Mickey- for never calling you back to try and fix things…”

You tear your eyes away from his wounded ones, only to direct them to the similar expression harbored by your creation.

“I thought that… if I stayed away long enough, then maybe you’d notice how fucked I was a-and not want anything to do with me anymore.” He plays with his hand to try and calm the nerves, cracking his knuckles multiple times until the little bubbles won’t budge anymore. “I wanted to, though… call you.”

His soft confession slowly turns the tap on your barely contained feelings and you find yourself staring his way with hopeful eyes.

“Every time I was home I- I had to hold in my breath cause just the smell reminded me of you, and when I saw you in the restaurant I thought I had finally lost my shit” Carmy laughs softly under his breath. “And when you left-”

He swallows the knotted sensation blocking his throat and you take his pause to sniff back and swallow your own batch of tears.

“I tried to let go of it, to forget and just let you go- I really did Fox- but all that’s been running through my head since then is how good it felt to hear you say you love me-” He takes a decisive step towards you, palms growing sweaty under the cellophane wrap. “-and how much I want to hear it over and over and over again- but… just from you.”

Your sight of him grows blurry again past the tears that you thought dry, coating your eyes.

“I didn’t know how to tell you before but I’ve been going to therapy. It’s al-anon family, for-uh- a couple sessions now… around three months.” He notices your expression is more confused than before and mentally cringes at his lack of communication skills. “It’s helped out a lot. You had nothing to do with what Mickey did, it’s a really fuckin’ awful coincidence, I get it now. But I’m glad he was there to stop you- to save you- cause I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you weren’t here, Fox.”

And there it was, the second you felt your heart stop and any trace of oxygen leave your body, a feeling only he could ever give you. Your lips tremble slightly with the tears in your eyes and you pull your bottom lip under your teeth to stop its shaking. He takes another step, then another, until your chests are so close, you’re both only a deep breath away from sealing the space.

“I searched half the city cause I wanted to get you Carnations…” He mumbles, raising up the bouquet in your direction a second time. “I know they were your-”

“-Grandmother’s favorite” You speak in unison and chuckle. “...yeah”

This time you don’t reject his approach, wrapping a hand around the base, fingers lingering over his for a few moments. Your gaze stays glued on the ruffled rouge petals, a soft smile curving ever so slowly at the ends of your lips.

“Whatever happens, I want to be by your side when it does. As a friend or-or more- if you’ll still have me…”

Beat. Exhale. Beat. Inhale.

It’s soft and tender and calm. The way your heart at last feels at rest. Like it had worked in overdrive all this time to keep you alive for this precise moment and can now take a step back in relief. A hue of sapphire invades your surroundings, drowning the walls and bystanders in what you’ve baptized as a ‘Carmy shade of blue’. Incomparable and unique to the man bathing you in his loving stare.

Your body reacts before your mind, losing the last bit of self control under the gentle waves, with arms circling his shoulders like a raft. It’s as if you can breathe again, nose clear, lungs full and head above the water; and you know very well that damned is the person that deposits all their stability on to another but you don’t seem to care. Not when the arms pressing you tightly to his sturdy chest feel like coming home.

“I missed you.” You whisper against the dip of his neck, nose nuzzled into the wild strands.

“Me too.” He sniffs to pull back the joyous tears. “I meant it Fox, I really do fuckin’ love you-” Empty hands cup your cheeks and tilt your head up to press your lips to his.

You don’t try to hold back the grin the awaited kiss brings you, instead sliding your hand to his chest and gripping around his uniform to pull him impossibly closer. A pleased sigh escapes your chest when he pulls back and presses his forehead over yours.

“I love you too, Bear.” Is all you can say.

The bustle of your surroundings grows quiet in deaf ears, silenced by Carmen’s steady breath and the resting beat in your chest.

“Alright Van Gogh, let's see what you got- holy shit…”

You can hear Richie’s voice around the corner before you even see him and take a step away from Carmy, he still keeps his arm around your waist to hold you close once his cousin joins you in front of the frames.

“This you?” He gawks pointing towards the wall. You nod. “Damn. Badass…”

It’s the most quiet you’ve seen him since you met the man, he’s just standing still while absorbing every detail in great concentration.

“So anyway, you two fuckin' again or what?” He turns to you after a few little seconds of silence.

“Jesus, Cousin! Why you gotta go make everythin’ weird-”

“I had to ask just in case I fucked up again-” They start talking over each other as you just stand there and smile at the banter. “Sorry sweetheart, you and I wouldn’t have worked out anyway…” Richie directs towards you.

“I am truly shattered.” You respond, hand sarcastically over your heart.

“Yeah, yeah…” He groans. “Listen cuz, some rich guy’s asking if we do weddings and shit. You go talk to ‘em, I didn’t know what to say since we're closin’ and all that, plus rich people give me hives-”

“Wait, you're closing the restaurant?” You ask up at Carmy in confusion.

“Renovating-” He blurts out.

“Didn’t he tell you ‘bout the money?-” The taller of the two throws your way.

“Money?- The fuck did I miss…”

“It’s kind of a long story…” His grip on your waist pulls you in closer. “Tell you at home… yeah?”

You can’t say no to the way his eyes glow under the fluorescents, though it seems something more shines behind them than just the brightness in the room. You bite down on your lip with a smile and only speak a soft ‘okay’ with a kiss to the corner of his lips. Richie groans again from a few steps away, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes, though deep down he knows he feels relief that his cousin won’t be so alone anymore.

You stay in each other's line of sight for the rest of the night. While he helps out plating the canapes, Carmy sneaks a couple peeks in your direction. Seeing you move freely through the space with a new found delight while speaking to some of the guests brings a peace to his chest that he had been afraid to never feel again. You catch his stares each time and share a complicit smile with every one of them. It’s subtle, just for him- a loving message delivered in a crowded room- ‘i love you’s scribbled in little notes and slipped across the desk in silence.

The room started to die down around 11. You had bribed Nico with the promise of food if he gave you some drinks that the team gladly took once they were done carrying everything back into the van.

The gravel in the back alley of the gallery groans under everyone’s tired feet, but in spite of that, there’s a jovial spark in the cold breeze around them. Crates and long empty coolers serve as makeshift seats for the family huddled together. You and Carmy sit on the edge of the van, doors open wide and with a drink in the hand that isn’t holding the others’ while everyone debriefs their day.

“Dude I swear if one more person asked me for some gluten free, keto, low calorie bull crap I was gonna lose my shit.” Tina groans before taking a swig off her drink.

“Yeah, I heard you saying ‘No hablo ingles’ halfway through the night.” Sweeps jokes, earning a sincere laugh from the group.

“Hey too bad your work didn’t sell.” Syd says in your direction.

“No one bid on ‘em?”

“Dunno-” You shrug, leaning into Carmy’s side with his arm around you, feet swinging peacefully and heels fully abandoned by the door. “Marge told me there was no way they could know who won cause they couldn’t find the bidding sheet.”

“Tough luck…” Richie mumbles from his own seat. “They were pretty sick, kid.”

“Thanks… It’s not that bad really, she let me take ‘em home. Maybe it can be an early opening gift for your new place…” You turn to Carmy, who holds a loving smile to you and nods warmly.

“What’re we gonna call it, anyway?” Marcus asks after a couple minutes when the conversation broke down into smaller ones.

“Oh, we already got a name.” The man by your side answers.

“We do?”

“Yeah… ” He turns to you for a microsecond while his other hand scratches a phantom itch under his nose in nervousness. “It’s-uh, it’s The Bear.”

“The Bear..” Marcus repeats, swirling the words around in his mouth and smiling approvingly to the taste. “I like it. To The Bear.” He raises his glass in the center of the circle you’ve created and everyone follows suit.

Tonight, the midnight sky is bright with millions of stars and the unspoken promise that whatever happens, you will be by each other’s side when it does.

So you scoot closer to the edge, toes grazing the cold gravel and lips pressed to Carmy’s beaming face as you all toast ‘to The Bear’.

Epilogue.

Taglist: @pearlstiare @teteminne, @beebslebobs, @harrysmatcha, @yum-yahgurt, @pussy-f41ry, @kirakombat and that’s it lmao

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aerequets · 1 year

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Hello again!

I was wondering if you had any spy x family fic recs that are twiyor centric? AUs? I’m having trouble finding ones that are what I’m looking for. Ratings don’t matter. Anything from G to E would be appreciated! Thank you!!

boy oh BOY do i have twiyor fic recs !!!! it's like basically all i read LMAO and i am always on a hunt for more. i feel like i have read through a good chunk of what's on ao3 and i still feel starved. there's always my bookmarks you can sift through for twiyor fics, but for some more curated recommendations (and this is not gonna include all the ones i've lost my mind over, that's far too many, this is just what i can remember off the top of my head):

the living blues by @nire-the-mithridatist

GOD it would be such an understatement to say i am a huge fan of not only this work but EVERY WORK by this author because SHE HAS A WAY WITH WORDS OKAY. i avoid angst like the plague but i saw the happy ending tag to this fic and IT DIDN'T DISAPPOINT (chapter 6 is gonna be an epilogue)!!!!!!! AUGHHH this isnt even a good review im just yelling but yeah this is really good and also pretty much everything else by this author, i'll say it now so this list doesn't have numerous fics by the same person just do yourself a favor and read through what she's got if you haven't already

rated T, 5/6 chapters, currently 14k words

(edit: completed!)

With Kid Gloves by crownofrosegold on ao3

4 words: Mr Darcy Hand Flex

rated G, 1/2 chapters, currently 2.5k words

(edit: completed!)

the most yearning, pining, longing fic ever with the least physical touch ever. loid traces yor's gloves in his pocket with his thumb and its somehow intimate. yeah

it's been a hot minute since it's updated but the first chap can kinda be read as a standalone (to me) which is why i rec, even though i personally only go after finished fics for my own sanity :^) also its just too darn cute how can i not

How to Be a Supportive Husband by @nemaliwrites

rated T, 1/1 chapters, 910 words

short and sweet drabble of the most simpiest loid post reveal. what more could you want

MISSION: Bottom Feeder by SilverSupa on ao3

rated T, 2/4 chapters, currently 9.5k words

this one is just too good and funny LMAOO yor and loid are Peak Stupid and also Peak Attracted To Each Other so it's just. mm good mix. this one's also been a hot second since it's last update but i love it too much so its on this list

even when we're not together (will you stay with me?) by JaMills on ao3

rated T, 1/1 chapters, 4.5k words

gosh this is another one of those super good reads that make you sit and think after you're done. soulmate AU where they swap bodies as children until they meet. personally i'm not the most dedicated reader of aus where yor and loid meet as kids, but the way its handled here is just so good and adds to the story. it's also part of a series and the next installment is equally as good. this is another one of those authors that has a lot of quality stuff (although there's a good dash of angst which i keep my distance from JKFHISDH) so look through their page!

Enough by Frotu on ao3

rated T, 1/1 chapters, 4k words

EHEHE THIS ONE HAS ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET FR it is soooo cute. typical thing of yors coworkers getting into her head, she asks loid if what they have is enough, and... well.... you can read what happens from there ;] (spoiler: it's very cute)

a dream in charmeuse by selfetish (@selfetishizing ) on ao3

rated T, 2/2 chapters, 12k words

oh gosh, the prose in this is just?? so insanely good??? its such a pretty read. this is twiyor, yes, but it's also a deep dive into femininity and yor's understanding/rediscovery of it. i remember the first time i read it the opening scene of the first chapter was just so GOOD to me, i was like OMG i am not gonna forget this this is so iconic AND IT IS!!!!! i love me a good yor centric fic. we usually get more of twilight contemplation (i mean he has got the whole mission thing going on and hes our resident overthinker so, understandable) but this was such a nice look into yor's..,, like, fundamental building blocks?? if that makes sense?? its just good ok read it

"The Five Times Loid Forger Went Topless In Front of His Wife and the One Time She Reciprocated" Or “Bare-Chested in Berlint” by Talik_Sanis on ao3

rated M, 6/6 chapters, 17.5k words

that title should tell you all you need to know right LMAOOO it's just yor being incredibly horny, like embarrassingly so. she lacks a grip

again this is just 8 fics, where my bookmarks list are over 200 (yeesh) so feel free to look through those. i've also got some fics, most of which are twiyor lmao (brainrot i told you). and don't forget to show these awesome authors some love!

#fic recs #sxf fic #spy x family #sxf #spy x family fic #fanfic

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moldy-cheese-being · 9 months

Text

Comic centric scollace prompt im thinking about writing soon (but its worded weird bc its unpolished brain to post style lol)

/under the cut bc PHEW its longer than the movie/

Just kinda, like, friends to lovers where Wallace helps scott thru autistic meltdowns, and scott is like "wow wallace is so nice to me about my meltdowns. Like, he doesn't get mad at me or make fun of me he just helps. And hes really good at helping too... Huh, he actually does more than any of my exes ever did... Hm... Whatever, its just bc I've known him for so long and we're like, best bros" but then he starts developing ✨f e e l i n g s✨ and since hes our beloved fucking idiot, he literally has no clue whats happening 💀 and he starts wanting wallace to hold him ALL the time, instead of just during meltdowns or when he (this 'he' honestly means both of them) knows one is about to happen. And starts acting weird, and feeling EXTREMELY embarrassed during meltdowns. And eventually he's just kinda cuddling with wallace after a meltdown, and scott looks up at him and has the "oh fuck. Oh no no no" moment (you know the one. We've all done it at least once) and goes to stephen and is like "HEYY STEPHEN, MY DEAREST PAL! My only other gay friend- how uh- how did you know you were gay?? And that you liked jospeh??? " and stephen (ofc) laughs at him and is like "omg who is he? Whos the guy that turned scott 'straightest dude out there' Pilgrim gay?" And scott just like looks down and Stephens like "WAI- NO- NO??? NO WAY?!??!?" and then actually helps and scotts like "well fuck what the hell do i do" and then manages to avoid wallace for like a week until, low and behold, another meltdown where wallace has to calm him down. And wallace takes his chance to ask wtf is going on w scott, and scott just starts crying again and is like "no i can't tell you you'll hate me and you're my best friend and my roommate and i can't ruin this" and wallace is like "dude wtf are you talking about??" So scott does the dramatic ass "I LOVE YOU, OKAY!?" and wallace just laughs and is like "omg did u really think that would make me hate you??? Guy, i love you too." And scotts like "??? Really???" And wallace laughs again and is like "yeah. Why else would i put up with you?" And they have a lil talk and agree to date :33

with mayhaps a short epilogue of them just being cute & gay

#scollace #autistic scott #scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw #fanfic #scott pilgrim #wallace wells #JESUSSS THIS IS LONG AF #My “prompts” tend to be more like an outline/skeleton lol

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justanamesstuff · 1 year

Text

All I Need - Epilogue (Instagram AU)

A/N: did a little something because i still don't want to let this fic go 😅 hope you like it!! (includes birthday wishes for Ross haha) also, I want to add that my box is open for requests about this story if you want :)) Thanks for all the love and support!

trumanblack baby's first selfie @y/nsinstagram love making babies with you

Liked by y/nsinstagram, bedforddanes, rass1975 and 654,845 others.

y/nsintagram: I need to keep your phone away.

graceabbott: gross 🤢!!

1975adam: congrats mate!

rass1975: my time to be the godfather!

➜ trumanblack: you wish

fan1: OMG ANOTHER BABY?

the1975fan: my heart can't take it...hottest dad out there ;)

Liked by trumanblack

y/nsinstagram counting the days to meet you 👶💗

Liked by trumanblack, denise_welch, susanne_l/n and 268,456 others.

trumanblack: always looking perfect, my love 😍

➜ graceabbott: simp

charli_xcx: excuse me? mommy? sorry! mommy?

➜ trumanblack: stay away from her!

➜ charli_xcx: can you fight Healy?

➜ bedforddanes: @charli_xcx 👀

denise_welch: counting the days to visit you guys! 😉

susanne_l/n: missing you so much today!

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graceabbott: definitely your child guys @trumanblack @y/nsinstagram

Liked by trumanblack, denise_welch, and 268,456 others.

y/nsinstagram: my silly baby, give her a big kiss for me!

➜ trumanblack: you'll never be as cool as her, grace!

➜ graceabbott: I'm her favourite ;)

➜ trumanblack: daddy's her favourite ;)

fan1: Matty calling himself daddy >>>>>

bedforddaes: Ames rocks 🤩

y/nsinstagram Happy Birthday uncle Ross, from Mel and me! We adore you! 💕

Liked by graceabbott, 1975adam, trumanblack, denise_welch, and 647,236 others.

rass1975: thank you! Missing the little one so much these days!

y/nsinstagram: we miss you too! Hope we see you soon.

➜ trumanblack: @rossmacadams @y/nsinstagram y/n stop trying to steal my hubby's heart.

➜ rossmacadams: @trumanblack shut up mate!

➜ y/nsinstagram: @trumanblack i think someone else is doing that. Right @graceabbott ?

➜ graceadams: shut up y/n!

➜ y/nsinstagram: @trumanblack aren't they cute?

➜ trumanblack: they're...but never as cute and hot as we are.

➜ graceadams: *rolling eyes*

rosswifethe1975: ross is taken? 👀👀👀

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trumanblack welcome our new rock star: Arthur Healy!👶💗

Liked by y/nsinstagram, denise_welch, susanne_I/n, graceabbott, bedfroddanes and 1, 546, 456 others.

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trumanblack big sister ready to meet little brother :)♥

Liked by jamieoborne, y/nsinstagram, denise_welch, bedfroddanes and 954, 625 others.

Comments on this post have been turned off.

y/nsinstagram a little photodump of the week of the family ♥

Liked by denise_welch, susanne_I/n, graceabbott, charli_xcx and 356, 754 others.

trumanblack: i love my new t-shirt, but the mug it's my favourite thing at the moment...

➜ y/nsinstagram: I hate you

➜ trumanblack: you can't hate your hubby

➜ fan75: did they marry too? So jealous of herr 😫

graceabbott: missing your babies so much

➜ y/nsinstagram: and me?

➜ graceabbott: nah.

loveitifwemadeit75: what i need to do to live her life?

fanth1975: Amelia has Matty's curls 🤧

trumanblack good company today at the studio...

Liked by bedforddanes, rass1975, 1975adam, charli_xcx and 746, 754 others.

Comments on this post have been turned off.

Instagram stories

#matty healy #matty healy fic #all i need #the 1975 #george daniel #matty healy x reader #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fanfic #matty healy imagine #matty healy x y/n #matty healy x f!reader #matty healy x you #matty healy x female!reader

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otakween · 7 months

Text

Digimon Tamers - Episode 51 (final episode!)

Yay! I enjoyed this finale. It was basically like the inverse of Adventure where instead of the kids having to go back to the real world it was the digimon having to return to the digital world. It was probably not as emotional as Adventure because the goodbyes were kind of abrupt, but it was close enough. I feel satisfied :^)

Notes:

Exciting title card is exciting. Gotta love it when the final episode switches up the intro for dramatic effect.

Sakuyamon's armor bursts off and her hair streams out when she gives Cyberdramon her power. I was kind of giggling at how fanservicey that was (I wonder if it awakened anything in anyone), but it was nice to see Ruki and Ryo finally cooperating and Ruki respecting Ryo as a teammate.

Lots of flowing hair in this episode: Sakuyamon, Ruki and Juri all get this treatment. Honestly it kinda made Ruki and Juri look really similar in my screenshots (see below), whoops. Other than that, they looked nice.

They probably just look more similar than normal here because of Juri's serious expression.

Nice of the holy beasts to show up and help, but they barely showed them (you could only see them fading into the distance). I wish they had the budget to animate them more up close because then their heroic moment would have had more oomph.

Why did Juri suddenly have 90s anime eyes in that one scene? She looked so cute lol (Culumon too)

Nice to see the less powerful, more defensive digimon save the day in this with Culumon using a barrier on Juri and then MarineAngemon doing the same for everyone to get them out of the D-Reaper bubble.

I laughed out loud when the goddess monster moaned it's way into the pit. Why was that so goofy sounding? Totally took away any cool-factor for that thing

Now that I think about it, when MarineAngemon saves the day, Hirokazu, Guardromon, and Lopmon did not need to be there. Guess they just wanted to participate haha

Poor Jian and Terriermon have to spin super hard to revert the D-Reapers power. The little "momantai" with swirling eyes was super cute.

It's revealed that part of sealing the digital world and real world connection means that all the partner digimon have to go back to the digital world, but first they revert to babies! Omg the baby digimon were so cuuuute ;w; Guilmon was a lil bean and hearing the super-serious Renamon's baby voice was great too.

We got a cheesy "Primary colors' insert song that I'm guessing was sung by the VAs, looking forward to giving that a closer listen.

It's interesting to think about what having digimon in the real world would even mean if there are no threats. They just hang out slice of life style? Are there any mon shows like that where there's no fighting? Sounds cute but it probably wouldn't sell as many toys lol.

This poor background child with huge ears:

I was like "gah! Why is there an elf in their class??"

Glad they didn't end with a silly "and then 20 years later they had all the babies" epilogue. Open-ended is best. Good for the imagination and good for the franchise if they ever want to do more with these characters.

All in all, this was a good kids show. It didn't blow me away or anything, but it was probably stronger than 02 at least. Since no one talks about the other series I can only assume it's all downhill from here -cries- Nah, JK. I'm looking forward to checking out everything else. But first, video game and manga time baby! :D

#digimon tamers #digimon #anime #spoilers #spoiler

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pitbullwithaship · 5 months

Text

DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG S4 EP2

More Donna and the Doctor time!!! YAY!

ANCIENT ROME AWESOME

HUG yay I love hugs

I love Donna she's awesome and curious and amazing

WELSH lol

Omg Karen Gillan

Ooh odd things are going to happen

VOLCANO

ITS VOLCANO DAY lol I love when they make little references and I can actually pick up on them

Fun fact Pompeii was one of my earliest hyperfixations

PETER CAPALDI lol

People have indeed always been people

Huh fiery monster dude

Oh dear Donna don't get into anything weird

SPACEMAN

Oh they have so many iconic lines

Okay well she's obviously lying then

I love how they take every tremble as a reaction to what they just said

They are siblings. And I can see they maybe do look a little similar

Poetry Poetry Poetry

Oh my that's in fact specific

Oh fuck him

Lucius should shut the fuck up

Okay that's fucking scary

SHE'S TURNING TO STONE WHAT

Lol magic trick to get his very stoned attention

Oh wow that's a lot of motherboard type thingys

Aww girl bonding time

Oh dear do not alter the flow of time Donna

Why exactly are people turning into stone

Stomp stomp stomp

Oh wow he looks like a fire groot

Okay he's dead

At least some of them have sense

Oh dear where's Donna

Wanders off, gets sacrificed lol

JUST US GIRLS LOL

Wow she's just all stone that sucks a lot

Pyrovile (Pyro as in fire awesome)

WATER PISTOL I genuinely did not realise that was what he was holding I'm mildly unobservant lol)

Yes Donna I love him too

Oh shit I hope it isn't the doctor wjo has to make the most terrible choice he's already had to make too many

That's actually really cool

BURDEN OF A TIME LORD God that must suck

Yeah now is not the time for this conversation why do none of the companions just bring these things up later on while they chill on the Tardis or something

Oh wow that's some city there

Lots of aliens have lost their planets, there must be some intergalactic political disaster going on or something

Poor Doctor having to make choices

Aww that's so fucking sad holy hell

*distant yelling*

Fuck doom is so sad

Aww he saved them just the one

And the 'give the doctor his compassion back project by donna' is a go

I live them they're so cute HUG

Aww we get an epilogue I love epilogues

AWW STONER BOY IS LEARNING TO BE A DOCTOR

Lol they get to be their gods

#doctor who #liveblogging #david tennant #tenth doctor #donna noble #catherine tate #s4 ep2

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honeyedmiller · 10 months

Note

I loved the last Fate After All chapter! But now I need an epilogue to the epilogue. Joel being a girl dad and Sarah being a big sister will literally melt my heart 😭

omg 😭 I know I’m so sorry I was gonna write the epilogue to be longer but I lost motivation and already thought that the epilogue wasn’t all that great.

but I’ll do a little blurb here, just for you <3

warnings: feelings of doubt, no outbreak!Joel, new mother!reader, five year time jump, and fluff

The day after you got home from the hospital, everyone wanted to come over to see the baby, but you’d told them all to give you some time. It’s not that you didn’t want people to come see her, but this was your bonding time with her and quite frankly you just wanted to keep the small bubble of you, Joel and Sarah to be the only ones around her. Tommy too, if he wanted, but he was really respectful of boundaries and knew he’d get to see his niece again sometime soon.

So, for now, it was you three getting settled in with Sophia. You and Sarah lazed on the couch as Sarah held her little sister gently, who was cooing up at her. Sophia had big brown eyes just like her father and dark, curly hair. You had a lot of heartburn during your pregnancy so it wasn’t a surprise when she came out with thick, dark hair.

Sarah looked down at her sister with pure adoration in her eyes, and you took a photo of them on your phone. Sophia started to softly cry a few minutes later, and Sarah had a panicked look in her eye.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear.” Sarah explained, and you chuckled as Sarah handed her to you.

“I know, honey. She’s just hungry.” You reassure her, and she nods in relief. You drape a thin breathable blanket over your chest and Sophia so you can feed her. Sarah ended up going to the kitchen to get a snack, so that left you with your baby girl. Her little suckling sounds were the only thing that could be heard until the front door opened, and Joel walked in with a few bags of groceries.

“Hi sweetheart.” He greeted you and leaned down to kiss you, trying his best not to disturb his newest daughter. He went into the kitchen to put away the groceries quickly, only to return with Sarah.

“How are you feeling right now, baby?” Joel asks, brushing the hair away from your forehead.

“‘M okay, my love. Just tired.” You say, bringing Sophia out from under the blanket as you rearranged your tank top back over yourself. You moved the blanket over your shoulder and lifted Sophia gently so you could burp her.

“Okay. Well let me cook us some dinner, yeah?” Joel asked, cupping your cheek with his hand. You nodded and smiled up at him as he leaned down to kiss you again. He cradled Sophia’s head ever so gently, pressing a kiss to her curls.

“Can I stay and help mom with the baby?” Sarah asks, and Joel’s heart melted. His three girls that he loved more than anything in the world spending quality time together was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“‘Course, sweetheart.” He walked into the kitchen afterwards, and you and Sarah stayed on the couch admiring the baby and how cute she was.

A few hours after dinner, you and Joel took turns getting washed up and ready for bed. Sophia’s bassinet was by your side of the bed just in case she needed a late-night feeding. You stood over her tiny body as she slept soundly, and tears began to well in your eyes.

Joel was currently in the shower, so he luckily couldn’t see you crying like this. Unwanted feelings of doubt crept over you. You worried that you wouldn’t be a good mother to your baby. The feeling overwhelmed you, and you started to silently sob. You sat on the bed with your face buried in your hands, shoulders shaking.

You were so deep in your own thoughts that you didn’t even hear Joel come out of the bathroom. Panic settled over his body, and he rushed to your side.

“Honey? What’s wrong?” His hand on your shoulder startled you, and you jumped. You looked up at him with glossy eyes, sniffling.

“Just in my own head.” You mumbled. You looked down at Sophia and the tears welled up all over again.

“Baby, talk to me. What’s the matter?” Joel sat beside you, wrapping his arms around you. You leaned into his chest as you cried, and he just let you. He didn’t rush you with an answer. He simply just let you be until you were ready to talk. Eventually, the tears died down and you somewhat regained composure of yourself.

“I just fear that I won’t be a good mother to our baby, Joel. Like I’ll fail her and not be good enough. Like I don’t deserve to be called her mom.” You sniffle, shaking your head.

“Hey hey hey, none of that, you hear me? You’re the best mom to our baby girl and to a kid that biologically isn’t even your own but wishes she was. Sarah loves you and adores you so much, and Sophia does the same. She may only be a couple of days old but she knows what a great mama you are to her,” Joel chuckles, kissing your head.

“She’s going to grow up to be such a wonderful, smart girl and she’s going to have you to thank for that.” Joel nudges you, and you huff a weak laugh.

“She’ll have her father to thank for that too, y’know.” You look at him and he grins at you, bringing you in for a kiss. You really hope he’s right.

Five years later

Turns out, Joel was in fact right. He is with a lot of things, but Sophia growing up to be a beautiful, smart girl with a wonderful personality hit the nail right on the head.

She was the most intelligent five year old you’ve ever known in your life. And you weren’t being bias because she was your own kid. She genuinely was very smart and kind, had good manners and had a very curious little mind. She read at a second grade level, even though she was in kindergarten. She knew the species of animals very well, knew how to spell a lot of words, and knew how to write her own name without any help. She was witty just like her sister, stubborn just like Joel, and empathetic just like you.

“Daddy, look!” She kicks a soccer ball to Sarah. Sarah had come over from her apartment to teach Sophia how to dribble and kick a soccer ball.

Sarah was graduated from college and engaged now, marrying to the love of her life in the fall next year. Joel couldn’t believe how fast his first born had grown up. It seemed like yesterday she was just running around the house causing havoc, but now Sophia filled her shoes in that. Though, he must admit, Sarah was a very well behaved child. Sophia follows right in her footsteps.

“Good job, babygirl! You’re doing great!” Joel called out, standing at the grill while watching his daughters keenly. Joel didn’t look much different than when Sophia was born. He was getting grays here and there, but in all honesty, the man aged like fine wine.

As for Sophia, she was growing so fast. Way too fast. You literally blinked and she turned five. You thought the age gap between her and Sarah was going to be awkward, but Sarah was the best big sister. She would take her on ice cream dates or to get manicures and pedicures, just like you did with Sarah when she was a teenager. You both still spent some days together just catching up and helping her plan her wedding, but she’s a busy woman as were you. So, you never let precious time get away from the both of you when you have time to spend with her.

Even Tommy stopped messing around and found himself someone serious. He’s been dating her for a couple of years now, and you think he might pop the question soon. You were still to this day so grateful to have become a part of the Miller family. You knew Joel was someone special when you first met in home room back in high school, and scolded yourself for not keeping in touch after you left for college.

If you could go back in time and do anything differently, it would be to love Joel Miller just a bit longer than you already have.

“Hey honey, whatcha thinkin’ about?” Joel waves his hand in front of your face, and you look up at him with a small smile.

“Just how lucky I am to be your wife. To be a part of this family.” You say, and he pulls you into his side to give you a lingering kiss on the crown of your head.

“I love you, sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re my wife and the mother of my children.” He murmurs against you, kissing your head one more time. You pat your hand on his tummy twice before kissing his cheek.

You set the table outside for seven people, because tonight was family dinner. It was you four, Sarah’s fiancé, Tommy and his girlfriend. You’d all agreed to make it a tradition to do this on a Sunday once a month, and it was always great getting to catch up with everyone.

Sarah helped you put out the condiments and hamburger buns after finishing kicking the ball with Sophia. Tommy and his girlfriend arrived shortly after, and Sarah’s fiancé not too long after them.

After everyone getting their plates and serving themselves, you all sat around the table and joked about old good memories you had, or funny stories to tell. You looked at all of the individuals around you, a strong gratefulness surging in your heart.

These were your people. Your daughters, your husband, your brother-in-law, and soon to be son-in-law. Each one of these individuals had a huge impact in your life, and you couldn’t have asked to be surrounded by anyone else but them. They all kept you going.

Joel caught your eye for a second and sent you a wink with a smile, reaching out for your hand to hold it. He gave you a small squeeze of reassurance, as if he could read your mind.

I’m here. I’m yours, forever. Our daughters. All of this… forever.

You squeezed his hand back with the faintest of smiles ghosting your lips, reveling in how lucky you truly are. The universe really did have a funny way of aligning things…

Because, again, this really was fate… after all.

hope I did it some justice, anon. tysm for requesting <3

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