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#the living room spends all year waiting for christmas
le-trash-prince · 2 years
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May your days be merry and bright
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satoruxx · 6 months
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pairing: toji fushiguro x f!reader summary: toji being a grinch lmao, grumpy x sunshine again, fluff, bickering rheya’s note: man i bet toji pretends to hate decorating for christmas but does it anyway bc he can’t say no to you! UGH he makes me !! i couldn’t stop thinking about bf!toji so here’s this silly little drabble. merry christmas everyone <33
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“you serious?”
“yup.”
toji crosses his arms with a scowl, and you mirror his stance with narrowed eyes.
“it’s stupid,” he grunts, reaching out to gently push his palm against your forehead—which earns him a dramatic groan.
“it is not.” you grab his bicep and he lets you drag him over to the tree you’ve set up in the living room. “don’t be an ass.”
he sighs as you place a floppy santa hat on his head and beam at his disgruntled expression. there’s an identical one on you—sliding off your head in all your excitement, and toji has to stop himself from fixing it for you.
you crouch down and throw open a few storage boxes before gesturing somewhat emphatically. “get to work!”
he grumbles, shaking his head even as he goes to pick up a few ornaments. “you’re ridiculous.”
“not very christmas-y of you, toji,” you comment, standing on your toes to hook an ornament. he snorts, eyeing the glitter sticking to his fingertips.
“oh no—i’m the spitting image of joy, can’t you tell?” he replies sarcastically, though his shoulders relax a little as he hears your unfiltered laughter.
toji glances at you, watching as you quietly hum some old christmas song under your breath while filling up the tree with colorful orbs. he’s not sure why you’re so intent on having him be a part of your yearly holiday traditions—he’s never been big on celebrating anyway.
but then he remembers what you had said last year.
“i don’t wanna celebrate anything if you’re not celebrating it with me.”
you’ve always been too good to him.
you scoot a little closer, decorating without a care in the world and toji lets out a quiet breath—decides to be a little annoying because it’s a surefire way to make you smile.
“you mind?” he frowns, huffing with a dramatic sneer. he pins you with a pointed glare before motioning to the tree. “you’re getting in my territory.”
you throw him an appalled look before moving your arm in his face childishly. “what are you gonna do about it?”
an evil smirk makes its way onto his face, and your expression immediately drops. “wait no—“
toji’s bicep curls around your throat, pulling you into a headlock as you squeal and slap at his arm. he spends the next few minutes playfully wrestling with you before finally letting you win and step into his space—stands behind you and watches your fingers gently place ornaments while his hand absentmindedly rubs over your hipbone.
“what do you want for christmas anyway?” you ask offhandedly. toji raises a brow, looking down at you—expressionless.
“thought it was obvious—“ he shrugs, reaching up to hang ornaments on the higher parts of the tree. “all you gotta do is sit under the tree for me and i’ll be happy. bonus points if there’s unwrapping involved.”
you make an expression that has no business looking that scandalized and toji smirks in amusement.
“psycho,” you mutter, shaking your head in mock disapproval—earning a muted chuckle in return. you go back to hanging up ornaments, once again humming to yourself, and toji takes it as a cue to continue decorating. the two of you work in relative silence—an occasional quip or jab the only disturbance. after a while, he crosses his arms.
“are we done yet?” he groans, eyeing the nearly full tree. “i’m tired as fuck.”
“weak,” you grin, though you reach out and pat his chest thankfully. “but you did participate and that’s all i wanted so, yeah, you can be done.”
toji almost laughs in relief, but then he sees you rummage through the boxes and pull out more decorations for the rest of the house, and he sighs.
“alright hand it over,” he grumbles, holding his palm out expectantly. you look at him—half confused and half surprised.
“i thought you were done?”
“yeah right,” he huffs, taking the tinsel from your hands and walking over to the staircase. “you’d end up tangled in this crap if i left you alone with it.”
“you’re so dramatic. and whiny,” you giggle and he rolls his eyes.
“am not.”
despite saying so he quietly huffs as he continues to help you decorate the house with stockings and tinsel and all that other festive stuff.
by the time the house is fully decorated, toji is close to banning the holiday season—grumpy, tired, and ready to move onto something else.
but then, the tiniest part of him is uncharacteristically giddy when you look up at him, holding the star in your hands. toji shakes his head, trying to bite back the amused grin tickling his scarred lips, before sighing and crossing his arms.
“can i help you?” he asks—teasing, though his expression betrays nothing.
you pout, holding the star up dramatically. “the star needs to be put up.”
a smirk graces his face and his tone becomes taunting, yet the affection is not lost on you. “yeah? need a boost, kid?”
even before you nod, toji is crouching in front of you, palms reaching out to guide your legs over his shoulders. you laugh as he stands back up, taking a few steps towards the tree.
he can’t help but chuckle as he watches you lean forward, palm smoothing over your thigh in attempts to stabilize you. “you got it?”
“almost.” he can hear the strain in your voice, can feel the way your fingers twitch against his jaw—but he waits patiently.
“okay got it!” your voice is triumphant, and toji grins to himself.
“attagirl.” his lips brush against your inner thigh—a sweet reward for a job well done. he hears your quiet giggle from above him as you gently push away his dark bangs.
“alright, put me down now,” you huff, and toji bites back a scoff.
“tsk.” he clicks his tongue, though he still lowers himself to let you hop off his shoulders before rising to his full height. “so ungrateful.”
“what do you want, a medal?”
you yelp as toji’s fingers pinch at your side in retaliation. “watch your mouth, kid.”
you flash him a grin full of mischief, though you don’t say anything else. instead you look up at the finished tree, marveling at your handiwork with pride.
“see—” you say with a pointed grin. “—isn’t it pretty?”
toji chuckles, wrapping a heavy bicep around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest. “yeah,” he agrees, green eyes trained on your happy little smile. “it is.”
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steddieas-shegoes · 6 months
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Mama Munson cannot cook.
She cannot bake.
She can barely make a grilled cheese without burning it.
But Wayne can cook.
He can bake.
He makes grilled cheese with tomatoes and garlic butter.
Eddie is raised with Wayne’s superior cooking and baking skills, and until he’s a teenager and goes to other friend’s houses, thinks that the “men of the family” are responsible for cooking and baking.
Wayne’s gotten aprons, and cooking utensils, and baking pans for Christmas and his birthday as long as Eddie’s lived with him.
Up until he’s too old according to his friends, he helps him in the kitchen.
Mama Munson watches the shift, but her and Wayne agree not to push.
They watch his diet do what most teenage boy diets do: turn to cereal and sandwiches at all hours of the day and night, some pizza sprinkled in when money allows.
Wayne still cooks, but his shifts turn into overtime hours, and then doubles, and he spends most of his time at home sleeping.
Eddie doesn’t seem to care, or at least not visibly.
His lunchbox is never stuffed with any food anyway, his mama isn’t dumb enough to not notice what he’s doing after school two or three days a week.
And then she almost loses him because the town turns upside down, almost literally, and everyone shuns them even more than they already did.
Not Steve Harrington, though.
He shows up every day after his volunteer shift with a grocery bag or two of fresh produce and jars and boxes and gets busy cooking. Nothing is ever that lavish, but there’s always a pop of flavors coming through even in the most simple dish.
She pretends she doesn’t see the way Eddie’s eyes widen after the first bite of whatever dish Steve’s made, reminiscent of when Wayne used to be able to cook for them almost every night. She pretends not to see the way Steve watches, waits for Eddie to show he likes it, relaxing into his chair and taking his own bite only after Eddie takes a second one.
She looks at Wayne, who’s pretending the same thing, but not hiding it well behind a knowing smirk.
Eddie starts spending more time in the kitchen with Steve, helping cut up vegetables and stirring as they talk, like he did with Wayne when he was younger.
Wayne goes back to work, but Steve always has a lunch packed for him with the leftovers so he doesn’t feel completely left out, blushes when Wayne hugs him on his way out the door. Eddie watches with a fond smile, and Mama Munson doesn’t say anything even though she should.
She’s seen what happens to boys who like straight boys firsthand, can’t be completely certain Steve’s a safe bet yet, even with the looks he throws and the care he gives. She thinks maybe he’s just a nice kid who loves his people.
But she wakes up one morning to whispering in the kitchen, and she knows Wayne isn’t home yet from his shift, so it has to be Eddie and someone else.
She sneaks out of her bedroom to see Eddie sitting on the counter, sweatpants on without a shirt, and Steve standing between his legs, cupping his face in his hands.
She’s certain that Steve left last night after she went to bed, she heard the front door open and close. But she looks closer and sees Steve’s wearing one of Eddie’s band shirts and the Christmas flannel pants Eddie got last year in his stocking.
So Steve didn’t leave, maybe wouldn’t leave ever if she was reading their faces right.
She decided not to interrupt them, sneaking back into her room and getting ready for work.
There’d be plenty of time for her to question Eddie about it, about Steve, about his feelings and if he was happy.
When she did finally go out to the kitchen, Steve was frying bacon and flipping an omelet in a pan while Eddie was sipping on a cup of coffee.
She kissed the top of Eddie’s head, then pulled Steve down to her level so she could kiss the top of his.
“Guess it’s about time we try your breakfast since you’ve been spoilin’ us with dinner for so long.”
Steve and Eddie’s matching red faces told her everything she needed to know.
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hemmingsleclerc · 6 months
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A Different Christmas CL16
pairing: charlesleclerc x fem!reader
summary: where Charles spends the holidays in his beloved girlfriend's homecity
warnings: probably bad writing, srry
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Charles was in uncharted territory when he landed in Mexico City to spend Christmas with his girlfriend. She had invited him to spend the winter holidays with her family in her vibrant, colorful hometown. Charles was excited but also a little bewildered as he entered a world of festive chaos which he had never experienced before.
He had been there for a few races over the years thanks to his job, but he never had the chance to explore or see the city, especially not at this time of year.
The vibrant colors of Mexico were even more enchanting as Christmas lights adorned the streets, casting a warm and festive glow.
The Leclercs were used to a traditional European Christmas, with snow-covered streets and cozy family gatherings. But as Charles walked through the lively markets of Mexico City, he realized that this Christmas would be very different. Colorful piñatas hung from every corner and the air was filled with the tempting aromas of street food.
Y/N's family welcomed Charles with open arms. Some more excited than others, since she had told him some time ago that she entered the world of motorsports thanks to the fanaticism of her uncles. Everyone welcomed him with hugs, making him feel part of the family. The issue of communication was a bit funny because not all of her family knew how to speak English, and Charles had a little knowledge of Spanish because some time ago he had asked Carlos for help to learn and be able to impress her. But in the end, through translations, signs, and Charles's mispronounced Spanish, they began a cheerful conversation on various topics.
Her entire family was amazed by him. Charles had the biggest smile on his face that day.
As the night arrived, Charles couldn't help but be captivated by the vibrant decorations adorning the house. Flickering candles and twinkling lights illuminated it, creating a warm and magical atmosphere. The family gathered around the Christmas tree with gifts stacked beneath it like treasures waiting to be unveiled,and soon the festive melodies of traditional Mexican music filled the air along with the large amount of food placed on the table.
Y/N's younger cousins could not contain their excitement as they prepared to break a huge piñata that was hanging in the yard full of different sweets. Charles, eager to participate, took a look at the colorful creation. With each blow, he couldn't help but marvel at the excitement and laughter that echoed through the night. The whole family participated, including himself.
Y/N couldn't hold back her laughter and take out her phone to record the moment when it was Charles's turn. Her uncle was holding a rope that was tied to the piñata to raise or lower it, preventing whoever was in front of the piñata from hitting it. Charles, grabbing the stick with which he had to hit the piñata, without knowing that, prepared to hit it hard but was surprised when he almost fell on his face at that moment he wanted to because they had lifted the piñata, avoiding him from touching it. He tried four more times until the song that everyone sang at the time of passing ended and he managed to hit it a few times, although he couldn't measure his strength and ended up breaking the stick in two causing laughter from everyone present.
At 12 o'clock the living-room buzzed with laughter and joy as they gathered around the tree, eager to exchange gifts. Charles couldn't help but be enchanted by the unique blend of traditions that Mexico brought to Christmas.
"Charles, mi amor, would you like to do the honors and hand out the presents?" his girlfriend asked, her eyes sparkling with pure love.
Charles gladly accepted the role, a bit nervous but excited to be part of this festive celebration. He handed out the gifts one by one, each package wrapped in bright papel de regalo. The family members exchanged smiles and hugs as they received their presents, the air filled with expressions of gratitude and love.
Y/N, sitting next to Charles, handed him a beautifully wrapped gift with a mischievous smile. "Open it, my love," she encouraged.
As Charles unwrapped the gift, he discovered a handmade sweater shaped in red and white colors, with a small heart and cars pattern.
To say that Charles loved the gift is an understatement. After a few minutes of admiring the sweater, he apologized to the family, excusing himself from wanting to use the bathroom. What they hadn't noticed was that he was carrying the sweater in his hand. Then, he returned with a proud smile on his face and in the room, everyone melted with love when they saw that he was already wearing the gift that his girlfriend had given him.
Charles was surprised to know that each member of his girlfriend's family had bought him a gift. He, of course, had also bought a gift for each of them months ago from different places he visited due to the races, being meticulously careful with everything he chose because he feared that they would not like it.
''Hey'' his girlfriend told him, escaping from her family for a few minutes.
''Hey mon chéri'' he responded with a soft smile
''I'm sorry if my family was a little impulsive, they were so touched by the fact that you were with us this Christmas that I couldn't control them.''
"My love, this is by far my favorite Christmas, I loved your family, and I want you to know how happy I am that you invited me here to spend the holidays with you, I enjoyed every second I spend here. I feel so lucky to have you in my life. At the beginning of the trip I was shiting myself when you told me your whole family was going to be there! But now I just want this to last forever. I love you endlessly"
By that point, Y/N's eyes were full of love. Wondering what she had done to have such a man by her side.
"By the way, I haven't given you my Christmas gift" he says
"You being here is more than enough for me"
"No, of course not, I want to give you something, turn around."
"Fine!" She chuckles counting to 10 just to turn around and be speechless when she saw Charles on one knee with a small velvet box in his trembling hands with a shiny ring inside
"Mon amour" he started with a nervous smile "I've been loving you for three Christmases now, but please allow me to spend the rest by your side. You are the woman of my dreams, and I will never regret the moment I gathered the courage to go talk to you because from day one you were the most beautiful woman on this planet. Will you be my forever, my partner in this beautiful journey, my happily ever after, my love? Will you marry me and let me be your husband? He ended with teary eyes but a big smile.
Y/N, who was in tears, couldn't believe what was happening. The love of her life was proposing to her. Trying in vain to wipe away the tears that adorned her face, she began to jump with joy while she repeated "yes, yes, yes!" While neither of them realized that the girl's family was glued to the door and windows watching the entire scene, some with tears, others celebrating the bets they had placed on the couple throughout the night. But the moment they saw the couple returning they all ran trying to hide the fact that they had seen everything.
The couple returned inside announcing the great news. Everyone came to congratulate them and while Charles was hugged by his future father-in-law and brothers-in-law, Y/N was showing her beautiful ring to her mother and aunts.
As the early morning passed, the family began to retire to their rooms to finally rest. Already in bed and about to sleep, Charles began to think that he could not have asked for a more beautiful Christmas, as he found himself enveloped in the love and traditions of the place where his girlfriend and now future wife grew up, creating memories that would last a lifetime.
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woso-dreamzzz · 5 months
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Holiday Spirit II
Alexia Putellas x Teen!Reader
Summary: You go to Alexia's for Christmas
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You felt small under Eli's heavy gaze.
It was like she was staring straight into your soul as Alexia pushed you in front of her, presenting you to her mother like you were some stray dog that she wanted to keep.
"Have you been feeding her?" Was the first thing she asked, thankfully, in English so you could understand her.
Alexia scoffed. "She's sixteen. She's capable of choosing her own food, Mami."
Eli didn't seem convinced, ushering you in through the door and pushing you into a chair in her dining room.
Food was already on the stove cooking and you couldn't quite believe it. Back at your parent's house, the days preceding Christmas were firmly a no-cooking zone. You lived off takeout and snacks for the days before and then your Mum would break out premade roast potatoes and a turkey that she could stick in the oven and forget about for hours.
"You are too skinny," Eli said to you, piling food onto your plate even though it was barely midday," You have no meat on your bones." She turned to glare at Alexia. "Are you not taking care of her?"
"We're taking very good care of her," Alexia insisted," She's just been a little silly when Lucy and Keira went home."
"You should move her in with you," Eli said, serving herself a generous helping," Are you not the captain?"
"Yes, Mami," Alexia said with a fond eye roll as she took a seat next to you and made her own plate.
The conversation happened around you and you were happy to stay silent, noting with some amusement that every time you ate, more food appeared before your plate could be cleared.
"Alexia," Eli said," Show her to the spare room. There are clean sheets already on the bed."
The room you ended up staying in was amazing. It had soft sheets and plump pillows and Alexia had to drag you up and out every day.
You met Alba too, who came into the house one evening in a blur of movement and too many shopping bags for one person to carry. She didn't seem confused at all to see you sitting at her mother's kitchen table, just rammed a chocolate biscuit into your mouth and patted your hair.
"Pictures, pictures," Eli said as she bustled around Christmas morning.
You had just gotten up, still rubbing at your eyes as Alba forced a knitted jumper onto your body and Alexia dragged you to stand in front of the fireplace.
You were still blinking the sleep from your eyes as you were made to smile wide from your spot in between your captain and her sister as Eli snapped several pictures on her phone, more on a professional camera and a few more on a Polaroid.
"Right," She said after the mini photoshoot was over," Presents now and then we're got the family coming over."
You rolled your eyes behind her back, settling into the armchair and pulling out your phone, texting an obligatory 'Merry Christmas' to most of your contacts list and shooting off a few messages to Lucy and Keira about how, yes, you were behaving yourself at Alexia's and, yes, you were looking forward to them coming back soon.
"What?" You asked when Alba ruffled your hair.
"Presents, idiot," She said though with no actual bite in her tone," Are you planning on hoarding them until next year? Where's your Christmas spirit?"
You gave her an odd look. "I'm pretty sure freeloaders don't get presents."
"Don't be stupid. You're probably Mami's favourite daughter. Open your presents before she realises."
In all honesty, you hadn't expected presents. You were happy enough with not spending Christmas alone, let alone receiving presents as well.
"I hope you like them," Eli said," If Alexia had given me more warning, I would have gotten you more."
You looked down at your little pile of presents. "I really like them," You said," You didn't have to."
"Oh but I did," Eli replied, pressing a kiss to the top of your head," You just wait a few more days. I'll get you some more."
"I don't- And she's already gone."
Alexia ended up firmly attached to your side when her family came around, split between introducing you to everyone and making sure that you ate enough.
"You go and give Lucy and Keira a call," She said to you, nudging you back into what had quickly become your room," I told them that you would call. They've been worried."
"There's nothing to worry about."
"We always worry about you. Go on, off you go."
You rolled your eyes at her and dialled Lucy's number, pressing your phone to your ear.
It didn't even have to ring once before Lucy picked up.
"Finally!" She said," Keira, it's y/n! Hey, I was waiting for you to call. How's Alexia's? Is everything going well?"
"Yeah," You replied, sitting down on your bed and leaning up against your stack of pillows," It's been good. She's got family round right now."
"Hi, y/n," Keira said as she approached the call," I'm glad that you're having a good Christmas. We're missing you here in England."
You rolled your eyes even though you knew she couldn't see you. "You're probably the only ones."
"You should come back with us next year," Lucy said," Keira's got an Indian being delivered. How weird is that? What's wrong with a good old roastie?"
"I don't know," You laughed," I'm getting a bit sick of them. Alexia's mum has been cooking all the time. I don't think I'm going to pass the fitness tests when we get back from break."
You heard Keira laugh. "Good. Then at least some of us will go back to regular game time while you recover."
"Oh, ha, ha," You said sarcastically," Really getting into the Christmas spirit there, Keira. Looks like you're in a real giving mood."
"Watch it," Keira said with a little giggle," Or else I'll rescind Lucy's offer of coming home with us."
"Oh no," You said dramatically," How will I survive?"
You stayed on the phone with both of them for a while, so long in fact that various members of Alexia's family came in to say goodbye to you before they left for the night.
"All cleared up with Keira and Lucy?" Alexia asked as she leaned up against your door frame.
"All good," You confirmed.
"Good." She sat down next to you on bed and tucked you under her arm. "This has been a good day, huh? I think you should come home with me every year."
"Sorry, but I'm pretty sure Lucy and Keira get custody of me next year."
"We'll see."
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humanpurposes · 5 months
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So thrilled you’re taking requests! I love winter themed fics this time of year. I’m requesting modern Aemond (if not allowed then Michael Gavey) + stuck in this cabin until the storm passes/come sit by the fireplace. As much smut as you’d like with maybe a teeny bit of angst?
Thank you for taking requests, I know they will all be lovely
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A/n: Took the liberty of making this a Michael Gavey request 😈 Also this gif is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!! Shoutout @barbieaemond and all the other amazing gif makers on here. These guys are such an integral part of fandom and they deserve all our love, appreciation and credit ❤️✨
Words: 2.9k
Warnings: 18+, slight angst, handjob, thigh riding (ish), Michael Gavey being awkard, but not quite a virgin
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“Fucking skiing holiday. Should have fucking known this would be a fucking disaster.” 
Michael’s foul mouth hardly phases you anymore. When you first met him you thought he’d be a shy type of guy, with his baby blue shirts, cargos and wire frame glasses he kept pushing up with his middle finger.
You’d quickly found that he wasn’t at all like you expected. He can be abrasive, often judgemental and vulgar, not so unlike your other friends but with Michael it seems to come from a place of unashamed honesty. You sort of admire him for it.
He’s pacing the small living room and kitchen of the cabin, furiously fiddling with his mobile. You’re kneeling by the wood burning stove, hovering a lighter by the kindling in the hopes that you can light a proper fire.
You’re surprised he agreed to go on this trip at all. 
You have a few friends who do Maths, and at the start of second year they started inviting Michael to the pub on the weekends. You recognised him from your trips to the library, where he’d usually sit alone after his friend ditched him for Felix Catton.
They’d been all talking about a skiing trip between Christmas and New Year, to this little Italian village in the Alps. You didn’t— and still don’t— actually know how to ski, but spending a few nights in a cabin in the mountains, surrounded by snow sounded like a dream. Michael had been sceptical at first but you’d managed to convince him to come when you said you’d need someone to keep you company when the others were on the slopes.
The others had all gone out as soon as you arrived, leaving Michael to get settled in the cabin.
But it’s turned out to be somewhat of a nightmare. It’s too dark to actually see the snow storm but you can hear it, shrieking and howling against the walls and windows of the cabin. You have no service, no central heating, just the small assortment of snacks you had brought with you, a packet of paprika crisps, a bar of chocolate and a prosciutto sandwich you’d bought back at the main resort, back down the mountain, back in civilisation.
“Fuck, fuck fuck!”
“What now?” You ask, still focused on the fire.
“Mobile’s fucking dead. Shit! I have a charger in my bag but the bloody electricity isn’t fucking working so I can’t fucking charge it!”
You smile to yourself as the kindling catches alight and the flames start to lick at the larger logs.
You glance over your shoulder as Michael tosses his phone on the sofa, runs his hands through his hair and catches his lower lip with his teeth.
“I have plenty of charge on mine,” you say, “I’ll turn it off to save the battery and we can see if the service is working in the morning?”
Michael stares at you for a lingering moment. He can be so intense sometimes, almost unsettlingly so. “You want us to stay here all night?” he says softly.
“People know we’re here. I’m sure someone from the resort will come up when they can. Until then, we just have to wait out the storm.”
He tuts, but he knows you don’t have any other options.
You sit together with your backs against the sofa so that you can be as close to the fire as possible. The heat pleasantly burns your face and skin through your jeans and jumper. Even then, where your arm presses against Michael’s, you feel the warmth of his body beside you. 
You grab the crisps and the sandwich out of your bag, offering them both to Michael. He only takes a handfuls of crisps and when you split the sandwich in two he takes the smaller half. You offer him more of the chocolate bar but he insists he’s not hungry. You frown at that. It might not be a Crunchie, but Michael never turns down chocolate. 
“How was your Christmas?” You ask, popping a square of chocolate on your tongue.
“Fine,” he says, looking down at his hands, “had dinner with my dad and my nan, went to see my mum on Boxing Day.”
Guilt twinges in your chest. “Are your parents not together?”
“Oh no, they split up a long time ago,” he says, like it should have been obvious.
“I’m sorry.”
He turns to face you, staring intensely. “Why would you be sorry?” 
“Because I didn’t realise.”
He smiles. You think it’s because he knows you’re nervous. “I’ve been splitting Christmases between my parents every year since I was twelve, I’m well used to it now.”
The topic doesn’t seem to phase him. He takes another crisp from the packet and looks into the fire as he crunches it between his teeth.
The low light reminds you of the nights you’ve sat opposite him in the King’s Arms in Oxford, all the times you’ve been tipsy off wine spritzers and found yourself trying not to make it obvious that you’re staring at him. He’s handsome, especially up close when you can see the details of his face, his lips, his surprisingly pretty eyelashes, the little cleft on the tip of his nose.
When his eyes turn towards you, you think your heart might leap out of your chest.
You take a quick breath, eyes darting around the room, at the fire, the pile of logs beside the stove, the sprinkling of ashes on the floor, but it seems inevitable that you’ll find your way back to him.
“Why did they split up?”
Michael raises his eyebrows but keeps his face solemn. “She left him for someone else.”
“Oh,” is all you can think of to say. 
“It happens,” he says. “People always want to find something better. My dad was never the most exciting guy to be around.”
“But what about you?”
He huffs a laugh to himself. “I’m not exactly enticing company either.”
You can’t tell if you just want the conversation to end or if you should say something else.
“It’s not something I can fix,” Michael says. One of his hands rests on his thigh and he slowly flexes it so the tendons shift beneath his skin. “And it’s not something that needs to be fixed. People come in and out of your life, but you move on. That’s just the way it is.”
He’s almost hunched over himself, with his chin tilted down and his glasses sliding down towards the end of his nose. 
You’d seen him in the pub once, back in first year, with that friend of his, Oliver Quick. Oliver had gone up to the bar and ended up sitting with Felix Catton and his band of admirers. You’d watched Michael leave the pub and remember your heart shattering for him, for this boy you didn’t even know.
Now, stuck in this cabin, snow swirling past the windows, the sound of the fire crackling a few feet in front of you, and Michael’s side pressed against yours, your heart shatters all over again.
You place your hand over his, and he instantly stops moving. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re great.”
Michael tries not to smile. “You don’t need to flatter me,” he says.
You curl your fingers over his hand and tighten your grip. His eyes meet yours and you feel yourself frowning, because he doesn’t understand, because he doesn’t see himself the same way you see him. 
“I mean it. You’re funny, even when you don’t even mean to be, and honest, and straightforward…”
You glance down at his lips, slightly parted as he listens to you. It crosses your mind to lean in closer, but something stops you.
“I really love that we’re friends,” you say.
Michael looks down at your hands. His lips are pressed together.
He doesn’t want this, you think. He doesn’t want me.
So you pull away, with a little smile to keep it friendly.
He blinks a few times as he looks back at your face. “Thanks,” he says, softly. 
He stands, and you don’t think you can bear to look at him as he moves towards the hallway that leads to the bedrooms.
You turn your attention to the fire, add another log for good measure and poke at the glowing embers in its heart.
You hear movement behind you, footsteps and fabric.
When you look back you see Michael has his arms full with pillows and blankets. He layers some of the blankets on the rug, and soon he has two makeshift beds, one on the sofa and one on the floor.
“What’s this?” You ask.
“We’ll freeze in the bedrooms without the heating, we might as well make use of the fire.”
It’s a good call, and now that you have somewhere to sleep you start to realise how tired you are. 
You rummage through your suitcase and pull out a pair of pyjamas you got for Christmas. Michael changes in one of the bedrooms and comes back in one of his maths pun t-shirts and a pair of red and black bottoms. 
You go to lie in the bed on the floor but Michael puts his hand on your shoulder and insists you sleep on the sofa.
Even with the heat of the fire on your face and the blanket pulled up to your chin, you can’t stop shaking. Your limbs are frozen and your skin is tight, but it feels deeper set than that. You feel the cold in your chest like a fever.
It feels like hours have passed and you still can’t sleep.
“I can hear your teeth chattering,” Michael’s voice grumbles below you. You peer down over the edge of the sofa. He’s turned away from you, towards the fire. You hadn’t even realised he was still awake.
“It’s fucking cold,” you say, wincing at the quiver in your voice.
Michael shifts to his other side so he’s facing you. You’ve never really seen him without his glasses, and he looks completely different, somehow softer, not as harsh.
“We’ll be warmer if we, if we share,” he says quietly.
His suggestion weighs heavy in the space between you, unless it’s just in your head. You can already imagine yourself pressed against him, feeling the warmth from his body and letting it sink into yours.
You don’t trust yourself not to try something stupid either.
You take the blanket with you. The floorboards are piercing against your bare soles so you step on the balls of your feet, quickly slotting yourself by Michael’s side, on the layers of blankets. 
He’s facing you now, your noses must only be inches apart and you feel his breath running over your cheek.
You try to steady your own breathing, but it only makes your heart beat faster.
You see his neck move as he swallows. “Come here,” he mutters, and brings his arm around you, pressing his palm to your back to pull you closer into his chest.
You let your arm drape over his side and your legs intertwine with his. You need the heat, tucking your head in under his chin and resting the side of your face against him.
You move with the rise and fall of his chest, breathe in the scent of him with every breath, hear his heartbeat against your ear.
If you shifted your head slightly, your lips would meet the base of his throat.
Want tightens and lingers in your stomach, but curled up under Michael’s arm, you let its dull ache soothe you to sleep.
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You wake slowly, opening your eyes to cold sunlight glaring through the windows. In your haste to get warm last night, you had apparently forgotten to draw the curtains. All you see on the other side is white, the snow now settled and piled high.
The fire has long since died and the air is colder than it was when you fell asleep, sharp as you take a breath through your nose.
It’s still warm where your cheek meets Michael’s chest, where his hand rests against your back and your bodies are pressed together.
It feels good to be so close to him. He’s still asleep, as far as you can tell. You hear the heavy sound of his breathing, air fluttering in his throat and passing through his pouted lips.
As you start to become more aware, more awake, a warm wanting stirs in your gut and between your legs.
It’s a stupid little crush, one you’ve not been able to distract yourself from these last few months.
You start to trace your fingertips over his chest, feeling where his chest is hard, then soft, and remember everything you said to him the night before, and what you perhaps should have said.
You nuzzle your face in closer to him, to the clean scent of his t-shirt and something else that is so uniquely him.
You try to stay like this for as long as possible, even if it’s torture not to want more.
“You’re moving a lot,” he mutters. You feel his voice rumbling in his chest and humming against your head like it’s a part of you.
Only when you freeze do you realise you’ve been rocking your hips, every hint of friction you get against the fabric of your pyjamas only fueling your hunger. But you’ve stopped now, resting your palm against his stomach.
“I’m cold,” you say.
“Hmm,” he says, resting his lips and his chin against your head, over your hair, “I don’t feel cold.”
The low rasp of his voice only makes you want him more.
The lingering haze of sleep must be clouding your judgement, your sense.
You tilt your head up, brushing your lips over his throat like you’d imagined. You feel him shudder, and feel his stomach tighten under your touch.
He utters your name in a breathless whisper as he paws at your back and pushes his hips into yours. His arousal is evident, hard and pressing to your centre through two layers of fabric.
And then he pauses, and his hand slips away.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he says.
You drag your hand down a little further, to slip under his t-shirt and feel the ridges of his surprisingly toned stomach, just above the waistband of his bottoms. “Why are you sorry, Michael?”
“I don’t know, I just…” he huffs in frustration as his hand returns to your body, gripping at your waist through your shirt.
You start to snag your fingers on the waistband, and realise he’s forgone wearing any boxers to bed. “Do you want me to help you?” You whisper, unable to hold back a grin.
“Yes, fuck, please,”
A whine sounds in his throat as you shift his bottoms down just enough to free his cock, and close your hand around it. He’s bigger than you expected, long and thick, heavy, hard and soft-skinned as you stroke, up, down, up, down.
You enjoy the feel of him, run your thumb over his weeping tip as he starts to pant and try to hold back his moans, leaning against you and ghosting his lips against your temple.
You only feel yourself becoming more and more desperate. You hook your leg over his, grinding your core against his thigh. Sparse sparks of pleasure course through your body, not enough for a release, but it still feels good.
You tilt your head again, eagerly pressing your lips to his. He seems taken by surprise at first, but meets you with clumsy enthusiasm. He kisses you like it might save him from something. Once or twice he seems to lose track, dragging his lips to the corner of your mouth only to pull you back into him.
The movements become more and more frantic, your hand pumping Michael’s cock, his hips bucking under your touch.
“Fuck,” he hisses against your lips, “I’m close. Fuck, I’m so close.”
You rock particularly hard against his thigh, and he brings his hand to your rear, squeezing at your flesh and urging you on.
You tease your lips against the shell of his ear, smiling at the wanton noise he makes as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.
“Are you gonna cum for me Michael?” You whisper as you up the pace.
“Please,” he grunts, “please…” and suddenly he’s moaning against your skin, holding you tightly as you feel his cock pulse in your hand as he spills over your fingers and knuckles.
You quickly move your head back so you can look at him, eyes fluttered shut, jaw slack and tongue just peeking out from behind his teeth.
“You’re so pretty,” you say quietly.
He blinks his eyes open, looking down at you with a dazed smile. “You think I’m pretty?”
“So fucking pretty,” you say, with another drag against his thigh.
He hums, low and cryptic in his chest. “Do you need some help there?”
Before you can answer he’s slipped his hand underneath your pyjamas. He cups your bare, wet cunt, lightly circling over your clit with the tip of his finger.
“Fuck you’re soaked,” he mutters, all but teasing your lips as he leans in to kiss you. “Got yourself all worked up, hmm?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, “fuck, don’t tease me, please…”
“Now, sweetheart,” he coos as he presses more firmly against you, hastening his movements so your breath catches in your throat. “We might still have a few hours before anyone comes to get us, and I can think of more than a few ways to pass the time.”
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General taglist: @randomdragonfires @jamespotterismydaddy @theoneeyedprince @tsujifreya @dreamsofoldvalyria @lacebvnny
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the-boy-meets-evil · 5 months
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a new home for the holidays | ljh
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(where you can't go home for the holidays and end up having a much better christmas than you expect.)
pairing: jihoon (woozi) x afab!reader genre: acquaintances to lovers, christmas!au | fluff & smut rating: explicit word count: 10.5k warnings: lots of mentions of christmas (including decorating, family, cooking, etc.), if the holidays are too much please skip this, mentions of family issues, reader can't go home for the holidays (and they actually like christmas), no gendered pronouns used for reader, mentions of past death (family member woozi mentions), woozi owns the house where reader rents a room but there are no power dynamics, explicit and implied smut, woozi is kinda grumpy, reader is super bummed about christmas, woozi ends up being a secret softie smut warnings: lots of kissing, thigh riding, nipple play, marking if you squint, slight begging, two ass slaps, oral (reader rec.), fingering (reader receiving), overstimulation, squirting, briefest handjob, unprotected sex (don't do this), implied aftercare, implied morning after sex
author's note: this is for @k-vanity's 25 tips for surviving the holidays and the final prompt is christmas. i don't really have anything to say for myself. this is not what i'm supposed to be writing and it kinda just happened. merry christmas (if you celebrate) and happy holidays. i've already had christmas dinner, so if you see any mistakes, blame it on the drinks.
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The holidays are your favorite time of year. Always have been. Nothing has really changed over the years. You moved away for work and fell in love with a new city. Now you just get to have twice the holiday cheer. You decorate your space in the house you live in with friends (and the grumpy house owner who’s resisted most of your attempts to be friends). Then, you go back to visit family when it gets closer to Christmas. It’s been a really great system. You’re just as excited this year as every other year.
Until your plans change. It’s only the day before you’re supposed to fly back home when your dad calls to let you know that he and your mom are sick. They know that you have a lot of post-Christmas plans (New Years, school work, and even a trip) and they don’t want to risk getting you sick as well. They insist that you can still come back, if you want, but warn you that they’ll have to keep their distance. You spend a lot of time thinking about it (read: talk it over exhaustively with your closest friends) before deciding that you’re just going to stay put for the holidays. You can plan another time to catch up with your family and have a time-shifted Christmas. After all, you think of the holidays as more of a feeling than a specific date on the calendar. You can find something to keep you busy for the 25th.
A couple of your friends invite you to come and spend Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with them, but you decline. You appreciate the sentiment, and really consider it in at least one case, but it just doesn’t feel right. Your family has so many traditions that it feels weird to consider dropping in on someone else’s. Besides, you won’t be alone in the house. (Even if Jihoon, who owns the house and rents out rooms, isn't always the friendliest. And doesn’t seem to enjoy Christmas at all.)
It’s four days before Christmas. You’re sitting in the living room aimlessly scrolling through your phone while you wait for Jun and Minghao to come downstairs. The three of you were all supposed to be heading to the airport together today, but now you’re just going to be driving them so they don’t have to pay for a ride. A sound makes you look up before you realize it’s not nearly enough noise for Jun, who can’t seem to go anywhere without being too loud. Instead, Jihoon only nods at you before he settles into an armchair on the other side of the room with a book. After a few minutes, you hear the telltale giggles of one of your best friends as he rushes down the stairs. Jun is through the door first, followed by an exasperated Minghao. Nevertheless, you see the signs he’s trying to fight his smile. You stand to meet them at the doorway.
“Bestie,” Jun signsongs when he reaches you. Throws his arms around you for good measure. “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” 
“Jun, for the last time, we were supposed to leave for the airport 45 minutes ago,” Minghao sighs. “There wouldn’t be time to pack.”
“Details, we’ve got plenty of time,” Jun waves off. 
“And last minute plane tickets are insane,” Minghao adds. 
“Less insane with a travel credit,” Jun supplies, undeterred. 
“Jun, please, we really need to leave,” Minghao begs.
“Are you not going home?” Jihoon asks. He’s so quiet when he moves that you didn’t even hear him stand up to join your group.
“Oh, no, I guess I forgot to let you know,” you start. You didn’t. Jihoon scares you a little. He’s nice enough and he’s great as a landlord, if you can even call him that, but you’re not really friends. 
“You don’t have to let me know,” he huffs out.
“I decided not to go home this year. Both my parents are sick and I don’t want to catch it too, so we’re timeshifting the holidays,” you say. 
“So it’s just you two in the house for Christmas,” Jun says brightly as he throws an arm around Jihoon. “Take good care of my bestie, okay?” 
“It’s fine, Jihoon, I’m not expecting you to do anything with me,” you say before he can even open his mouth. 
“But…” Jun starts and you turn him around before he can finish.
“Come on, before we give Hao an aneurysm. Do you need help getting your stuff outside?” you ask. 
“Bless you,” Minghao mutters as you’re wrangling your best friend out of the house.
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Once you’re back at the house, all you want to do is lay in your bed. It was a lot of work to pretend everything was fine while taking Jun and Minghao to the airport. Traffic was bad getting back, so you didn’t really have it in you to break down. Now that you’re home and in your room, the tears don’t come. It’s not who you are. It sucks that you’re not going home for the holidays, but it’s still the holidays and you can still make the most of it. Maybe. Somehow. 
Somewhere in the house, you hear a door close loudly. Probably just Jihoon since everyone else has left. For a moment, you consider going downstairs to see what he’s up to. But, again, you’re not really friends. Moving seems like too much effort, anyway. You flop back onto your bed and get comfortable. Wait until you’re hungry to actually leave your room to find something to eat. You’re probably going to need more groceries before Christmas, because you still want to make some of your favorites, but you probably have enough for something to eat tonight. When you walk into the kitchen, you smell something delicious. There’s a big pot on the stove with the burner on beneath it. 
You’re just about to lift the lid when Jihoon comes back into the kitchen. “Leave it.” 
“Oh, sorry!” you gasp, surprised by his appearance and unsure of the tone.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says. “I just don’t wanna fuck it up.” 
“That’s a big pot of soup,” you say.
“Yeah, I figured you might be hungry,” he says, like it’s the most logical thing in the world.
“Oh!” you say. 
“I mean, I don’t know if you like Chicken Ramen soup, it’s a little spicy, but I like it around this time of year,” Jihoon says. He looks a bit awkward and unsure.
“That sounds really nice, actually,” you admit. “You don’t mind sharing?” 
“No, I wanted to share,” he assures you. “It’ll be done soon.”
With a nod, you go to sit down at the kitchen table. The silence isn’t totally comfortable, but it’s not uncomfortable either. Not exactly. This is already shaping up to be the most time you’ve spent alone with him, if you end up eating together. It makes you wonder more about him. He seems really focused as he cleans up around the kitchen. His black hair is the longest you can remember seeing it, falling around his face as he leans over. It’s almost soft to watch him brush it out of his face. 
As you’re sitting there waiting for the soup to finish, you realize that you don’t know much about him at all. Even though you’ve lived in this house almost two years, he’s still very much a mystery. You know that the house has been in the family for a long time and he was the only one who was willing to take the project of managing it on. Or that’s what you think he said once. Someone, maybe a cousin or friend or something, thought he was a bit crazy for renting rooms out like this. But, it’s a massive house and he’s single. (There are 6 bedrooms, all with attached bathrooms, multiple living rooms, and an office that he uses for himself. The house is paid off so the rent goes towards things like property taxes, maintenance plans, and anything else that comes up.) You know he also produces music, though you’ve never heard any of it. Not that anyone has, he’s very private and doesn’t even share what name he produces under. 
It’s clear when he brings each of you a bowl of soup that he’s expecting the food to do the talking for him. It’s cute and also puzzling at the same time. How does someone who wants to speak through something like making soup have a successful career as a producer? You shake the thought away and make conversation yourself. Most of what you get are short answers, but it’s something. And you definitely learn more about him. He deflects a little when you ask about his family, prefers to turn it around so you can talk about yours. Which you don’t really mind, even if it’s a little sad to think you won’t get to see them.
“Hey, I was thinking I might go and see about getting more decorations for the house tomorrow. Is that okay?” you ask when you’re finished eating.
“You really like Christmas, don’t you?” 
It’s not really an answer, which makes you look up to find something of a smile on his face. Maybe a little teasing behind the smile. “Yeah, I just really like the joy of it all.”
“I don’t mind. There also might be some stuff in the attic that I can pull out,” he says as he stands to clear the dishes. 
“That would be better than braving the crazies,” you say.
“Come on, I’ll show you how to get up there,” he says. Doesn’t even check if you’re following him before leaving the kitchen.
You scramble to your feet to catch up to him. Truthfully, you didn’t even know the house had an attic. It isn’t surprising. It’s an old house, but still. This is just another small thing that you feel like helps you better unwrap the mystery of Lee Jihoon. Upstairs, he opens the closet and pulls out a hook to unlatch a door in the ceiling just outside of Minghao’s room. Huh. You’ve never even noticed it, not that you’re outside this room often. To your further surprise, Jihoon flicks on a switch and then climbs up the ladder into the attic. Once again, you follow close behind him. 
There are a lot of boxes in the attic, mostly labeled with names or rooms or both. You figure they probably belong to relatives. Or maybe past renters. In any case, it seems best to not bother asking. Especially since he’s making a beeline to one corner. You fight the urge to laugh. So much for thinking there were decorations up here. By the way he walks, you can tell he knows exactly where they are. It’s worth it, though, because there are about a dozen boxes with garlands, ornaments, wreaths, and other various knickknacks. Jihoon asks which of the boxes you might want and sighs when you say you want to bring them all down. Doesn’t argue, though, just tells you how to help him get them down. Even helps you get some of them downstairs.
“Guess we might need a tree,” he sighs when you get the last box out of the attic.
“Oh, I can find a fake one at the store or something. It’s no big deal,” you mumble out.
“I have to take care of something in the morning, then we can go pick one out,” he says without looking at you.
“Really?” It comes out nearly as a squeak. 
He rolls his eyes, which might discourage you if you hadn’t also caught the faintest smile. “Yeah, we might as well with all this stuff out of the attic.” 
You distinctly hear him mumbling something about the damn Christmas spirit as he walks away, leaving you to happily sort through boxes. Hope can be dangerous, especially around the holidays when your plans are interrupted. But, you can’t help it. You feel a little spark of hope.
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The house is quiet when you wake up. It’s hard to tell if Jihoon is around or not until you peek out into where you all park to see that his truck is missing. When you first met him, the truck surprised you. It’s not really flashy, or even new, for that matter, just an old, vintage Chevy that’s in completely perfect condition. It’s probably older than either of you, but you’d never know by how it looks. The more you get to know this man, the more the truck makes sense.
With the house empty, you can listen to music as loud as you want. You connect your phone to the speaker and Christmas music carries throughout the house in moments. Coffee in hand, you set out to get some of the decorations up while it’s just you. But, even with the music and the decorations, you’re feeling a little empty again. It’s not the same to be doing this all by yourself. You know, at least on some level, that you’re not totally alone. There’s also Jihoon and he isn’t going anywhere for the holidays. But, he obviously doesn’t like Christmas much if the lack of decorations or tree are anything to go by. Maybe you’re just a burden on him too.
Your phone dings and you look around for a minute before you find it on the table. The surprise of who’s texting you makes you unlock your phone right away.
Jihoon: Finished early and actually found a tree that works when I was driving home Jihoon: I hope that’s okay. I didn’t want it to be gone
There’s no explanation for the tears you’re blinking away. It’s not about picking out the tree. That part of Christmas hasn’t ever been an important part to you. Ever since you moved away, your parents got one before you flew in anyway. No, it’s more to do with the little you know about Jihoon and that truck. It’s almost like his child. He’s so careful about it. Somehow, Jun has managed to at least get to the point of being friends with him. Then again, Jun can wear anyone down. But, through Jun, you know how particular Jihoon can be about his truck. You distinctly remember Jun saying he wasn’t allowed to eat or drink in it (not that unusual) and that he had to brush off his shoes before getting in to avoid the dirt (a lot more unusual, especially someplace it snows). It probably doesn’t mean anything. It’s probably just your emotions about the change of holiday plans taking over. But, you’re overwhelmed that he’d pick up a tree and use his own truck.
You: oh, yeah! thanks! You: let me know you’re here and i’ll come help
The tree that Jihoon shows up with is completely perfect. Even still wrapped, you can tell that it’s going to be full. And that you’re going to have to work a little harder to get the branches to fall by Christmas. Not only did Jihoon use his truck to bring a tree back, he also has several bags of stuff, including a tree stand. It makes you wonder what he actually had to do this morning. It isn’t until you have to bring the tree in that you wonder how the hell you’re going to lift it into the house. That is, until Jihoon reaches through the branches and lifts up the tree. You try not to watch the way his muscles tense under his shirt. Fail miserably, actually, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He calls for you from the living room to help him fasten the tree into place. It’s a good thing, too, because you don’t really need to be dwelling on whether the guy who’s basically your landlord is hot or not. 
Once the tree is up, he makes an excuse about needing to get some work done and disappears off to his studio. It had actually been really fun, even if it was short, to have Jihoon around and sharing in the space. It feels a little empty again. But, there’s still plenty of decorating to do. So you get to work. You’re hoping that somewhere in the process of decorating, it’ll start to feel a little more like Christmas. You consider calling Jun to answer his texts. Unfortunately, he knows your tones of voice better than you do. There’s no way you’ll be able to hide being sad. You can just fire off a couple quick texts to tell him about the tree and about how you’re decorating now. 
An hour later, you’re kind of ready to give up. It’s just not going to feel like Christmas. Not when the joy and the sense of togetherness are missing. The second that you hear footsteps on the stairs, you wipe your eyes. The last thing you want is for Jihoon to see you crying. If he can tell, he doesn’t comment. Doesn’t say anything, actually. Just puts two bags down and starts sorting through ornaments, both old and clearly new. It’s the smallest gesture, yet you don’t feel so alone anymore. 
“Do you want to listen to some music?” he finally asks to break the silence.
“Yeah, I can get a playlist,” you answer and reach for your phone.
“I have some, too. I’m not heartless,” he says with a chuckle.
“I never said…” you start, only to stop when he rests a hand on your arm.
“I was joking,” he says. 
You’re not trying to be nosy, but you see him scroll through a few playlists while he’s looking for holiday music. “What were those?” 
Jihoon looks up at you, confused, before looking back down at his phone. “Oh, nothing. Just stuff I’m working on.” 
“I’d love to hear that,” you admit.
“What? The stuff that’s not done?” he asks, abandoning his search for a playlist.
“Well, yeah, but I meant the stuff you have finished,” you say.
“Oh, um, I don’t usually share that. I like to keep that separate,” he says awkwardly.
“It’s fine, I totally get it,” you say, brushing off any disappointment, and return to your focus on sorting through ornaments. 
“Fuck it, sure. I’ll let you listen to some,” he says. Your head whips up with a beaming smile. And you have no way of knowing that it makes his heart stutter.
“Really?” you ask.
“Yeah, but if you hate them, don’t tell me,” he warns. 
You hold out your pinky as a promise. Jihoon grumbles under his breath for a second before linking his pinky through yours as a promise. He scrolls back to one of the earlier playlists, keeps the name hidden from you, and hits play. The first song immediately puts you in a good mood. It’s upbeat and happy, full of good life advice. Just the type of thing you need right now. One song flows into the next and you’re smiling without even realizing it, singing along to songs that you can’t believe you know. Can’t believe this quiet man has so much talent. Can’t believe he works on such popular songs and still lives a simple life in a shared house with roommates that are way too loud.
It’s him that starts the conversation up again, seemingly unable to stop himself from asking for your thoughts. It’s the most animated you’ve ever seen him, asking for your opinions and talking about his process. The more you listen, the more he seems to have to say. At times, you’re not even sure that you hear what he’s saying. This animated side to him has you so entranced that you think you’d do anything to keep him speaking. Keep him smiling like this. 
The house feels a lot warmer now that you’re decorating together and talking about anything under the sun. Talking about music seems to have opened him up to talking about a lot of things. About his interests, books he’s reading, games he likes to play. You find there are actually a lot of those things that you have in common. You have similar taste in books and in games, even offer to lend some books to him. He makes you promise that it’ll be an even trade so that he feels better about it. 
When dinner time comes around, he suggests ordering delivery. You agree, but only on the condition that you can figure out a Christmas menu over dinner. That signature sigh and eye roll make another appearance, like he’s so exasperated by the process. It’s less effective now that you’re starting to know him better. A part of you thinks that it might even be an action reserved for people he cares about, even if that care is only small. But, you’re starting to learn how to play the game too. You pout at him and make your eyes as big as you can when you ask the second time. Before you can ask the third time, he relents and agrees. 
With your favorite food spread out in front of you, from a place he’s somehow never tried, you start to make a list of your favorite Christmas dishes. Thankfully, some of your favorite things seem to line up and otherwise, Jihoon doesn’t really mind what you have. Once, he reminds you that there are only two of you, so you don’t need to go overboard. You’re quick to point out that leftovers are great and that your housemates come back shortly after Christmas. Again, he finds himself giving in to what you want. 
You’re watching him clean up the boxes and considering your next question. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did,” he points out, back still to you. 
It’s your turn to roll your eyes. “You’re such a dick.”
“Now is that any way to speak to your landlord?” he teases, finally turning around.
“That’s actually what I wanted to ask you,” you say.
“If you can call me a dick?” he wonders and you laugh.
“No,” you manage. “No. I wanted to know…well, you’re obviously successful. Why live in a house with so many loud housemates?” 
Jihoon looks thoughtful for a moment, turns around to continue throwing things out. You think he’s not going to answer when he comes to sit down across from you again. “I like the chaos. It's good for me. I don’t just mean because it inspires me. It does. But, it’s also good. I get a little in my head, if you haven’t noticed. I don’t always have the easiest time getting out. There’s always someone around here.” 
“You secretly like us,” you coo because you’re not sure what else to say.
“I regret telling you,” he says and huffs.
“I’m kidding, Ji. I really like living here, even if you scared me at first. It feels like a weird, dysfunctional family,” you say.
“Do I still?” he asks, oddly serious.
“What? Scare me?” 
“Yeah.”
“No, you don’t. I think you’re actually a lot softer than you want us to realize,” you say and watch his face. “Don’t worry, Ji, your secret’s safe with me.” 
“Is that nickname going to stick?” he wonders.
“That depends. Do you like it?” 
“Would it matter if I said no?” 
“Of course it would.” 
He looks away and clears his throat. If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was a little shy or embarrassed. “I do like it.” 
“I’ll be sure to use it a lot, then,” you say. More tease, really. You’re curious to see how he reacts and you’re not disappointed. There’s a slight blush to his cheeks. If you could see his ears through his hair, you think those would be tinged red as well. 
It takes him a minute to regain his composure. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re exhausting?”
“How do you think I manage to keep up with Jun?” you fire back.
“He adores you, you know,” Jihoon says and it’s the softest you’ve seen him while talking about another person. 
“I’m glad because I adore him, too,” you say without even thinking about it. “Although, sometimes he acts like the brother I definitely never wanted.” 
Jihoon actually laughs at that, a real laugh, and the sound is so pretty. “The brother you never wanted. How does he feel about that?”
“Fine because I also tell him that sometimes he’s the brother I did want. So it evens out,” you reason.
“You see him like family?” he asks, an unplaceable emotion on his face.
“Yeah,” you answer immediately.
“Why didn’t you take his offer to go home with him for the holidays?” 
That’s not the question you’re expecting. It makes you frown a little. You had forgotten, just for a moment, that this year was different. “Oh, well, I don’t know. Jun is family to me and I do love him like he’s my brother. But, um, I guess it’s that he’s family to me. Not his family. I like them and they’re great, but it would feel like intruding to have accepted. Like I was someone they had to make feel welcome, a guest. Not someone who was actually part of everything.” 
“I get that,” he says. 
“Why do you stay here on Christmas?” you wonder, venturing further into knowing him.
His shoulders slump a little bit, like he’s not really happy with how this turned either. “I don’t really talk to a lot of my family anymore.” 
“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t…” you start and he waves you off.
“No, no, it’s fine. You asked me about being successful and still living here with housemates. I told you most of the story, but not all of it,” he admits. 
Without thinking about it, you get up from your chair to sit beside him. Put your hand on his arm to let him know that he doesn’t have to share this part of himself if he doesn’t want to or if he’s not ready. But, he insists he wants to share it with you now that you’ve also heard some of his music. His grandfather owned his house and got it from his grandfather before him. Jihoon had always been close to his grandparents. He was the only grandkid to come around and help them with things. His grandmother would try to teach him how to cook, even though he was never very good. She also taught him all sorts of games, that’s where he got a lot of that from. His grandfather taught him how to fix a car himself, how to fix things around the house, just how to be able to rely on yourself. They were the first ones that he told about wanting to make music and the first to encourage him even when the rest of the family thought it was stupid. They were the first ones to find out he’d gotten his first shot at just seventeen years old. They were the ones who taught him how to be careful with his money, to not blow it all because you never knew when the next shot would come. In the end, it wasn’t even old age that took them. A car accident on a snowy night took his grandmother. He lost his grandfather six months later from a broken heart. 
It’s hard to remember that time because they were everything to him. He hadn’t even realized that they had changed their Will. That they had rewritten it to leave everything to him. If he had known, he never would have accepted it. But, there was a letter, too, confirming his grandfather had been of sound mind when they changed it. It went on to say that Jihoon was the only one in the family that came around just because he wanted to. So, he was the only one they felt could care for their legacy after they were gone. Something like that, it brings out the worst in people. Jihoon’s family was no different. First, they all insisted that he should share it, that they were owed part of it by blood. And then, they started to realize that he had his own success already. That he was selling songs and working with more people. They didn’t know who, exactly, because he never told him his pseudonym for producing, but the final letter from his grandfather mentioned how proud they had been. It got even uglier from there. Family members he’d never spoken to came out of the woodwork asking for favors or saying he should help. He had the means to do it, by his own success and the inheritance. In the end, he wound up cutting most of them out unless they were able to understand that they weren’t entitled to something he earned. 
“So that’s why I stay here, it’s just easier,” he finishes.
You’re not even sure when you started crying, but you turn away to wipe your eyes. It’s not even your sadness. When you turn back, you find Jihoon looking closed-off. It breaks your heart all over again as you reach out to him. “Nobody should have to deal with that. What they did, what they put you through, it’s awful.” 
“We all have history, right?” he asks. “I just don’t like to share it because I don’t want to be questioning if people like me for me or for what I could do for them.”
“Well, for what it’s worth, I still see you as a former grumpy cat, secret softie and my…” you start, but trail off, trying to find the right word.
“Landlord?” he suggests through a humorless laugh. It makes your eyes soften at him.
“No, friend,” you decide. 
“I just dumped a bunch of trauma on you and you wanna be my friend?” he asks, partly self-deprecating, partly hopeful.
“You don’t seem so bad,” you shrug. 
“I guess we’ll see,” he says softly.
The rest of the night is lighter, mostly with you trying to figure out more things he likes as subtly as possible. He laughs when you come downstairs with the presents you’re saving until Christmas to open because he can tell Jun’s right away. You don’t tell him that you’ve already ordered half a dozen small things that’ll be at the house by Christmas Eve so that you can wrap them all up for him. You just want to see his face.
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Two days before Christmas, you and Jihoon finish off the decorations and pick up groceries. Well, you’re the one who picks up groceries after insisting on splitting the bill. Jihoon has another mysterious errand that he has to run. Even though you really want to know, you decide to let him have his secrets. At least for now. You’re beginning to understand that he trusts you and he’ll tell you whatever it is when he’s ready, if it even has anything to do with you at all. 
When the morning of Christmas Eve dawns, you’re actually excited. The past few days have been a whirlwind, and you’re definitely not done, but the house feels like Christmas. Three days ago you never would have thought Jihoon was enough to bring that holiday joy into the house. Now, you’re so insanely thankful that he’s gone above and beyond. Without anyone else around, or any other distractions, it’s been like a crash course in getting to know each other. There’s so much more to him than you ever realized. 
The day passes in a haze of cooking, wrapping last minute presents, and laughter. Lots of laughter. You’ve heard Jihoon laugh more in the last couple days than in the entire time you’ve lived here. Not for the first time, you think it’s a wonderful sound and wish he’d laugh more. It’s easy to understand why he doesn’t, why he’s so guarded, but still. A person can dream. 
With all the food prepped and the tree perfectly decorated, you decide it’s time to put your additional presents underneath. Jihoon huffs when you say you just got him a few small things you thought he’d like, before returning with a handful of presents for you. Every fiber of your being wants to give him shit over it. But, it’s Christmas, so you just call a truce instead. And light up like a kid when he suggests starting a fire in the fireplace. 
“I’ll go make adult hot cocoa,” you tell him when he starts crumpling up old newspapers for the base of the fire.
“Adult hot cocoa?” he asks, face scrunched up like he’s adorably confused.
“Unless you just want the non-alcoholic version,” you offer.
“I’ll at least try it,” he concedes. His smile is soft when you squeal and run off to the kitchen. 
By the time you’ve melted the chocolate (because who uses a premade mix in a kitchen this nice?), Jihoon has the fire going and is sitting on the couch. You’re about to ask why he’s scrolling his phone when he presses a button and Christmas music softly starts playing through the speakers. You hand over his mug and watch as he takes a sip. Even if he tries to hide it, you can tell he loves it and your smile is victorious. Probably why he tries to hide it. 
You’re onto your second mug and asking Jihoon to find a blanket so that you can sit on the floor in front of the couch. It’s easier to stretch out closer to the fire. As is his way, he whines about how it’ll be too warm, even though you tell him he doesn’t have to sit with you. Still, he gets the blanket and plops down right next to you, so close that you’re almost touching. It only takes a couple minutes before he’s complaining that it’s really warm and then pulling off his sweatshirt. Your retort dies on your lips when you turn your head to the side and see the way the sweatshirt pulls his t-shirt up on the way. Or how muscular his arms look now that they’re exposed. You’re thankful that you look away before he catches you. 
It’s quiet between the two of you as you watch the flames dance in the fireplace. There’s only comfort now, unlike a few days ago. That strikes you. Has it only been a few days since this man was something of a stranger to you? It almost feels like a lifetime ago. When you turn your head to him, you find he’s already looking at you.
“Can I admit something?” you ask. 
“Course,” he says softly.
“I’m really glad I decided to stay here for Christmas,” you say, equally softly. You want to take a mental image of the smile that follows. 
“Can I admit something, too?” he asks. You only nod. “I’m really glad you did too. This is the best Christmas I’ve had in years and it’s still only Christmas Eve.” 
Before you can think better of it, you lean forward and kiss his cheek. Just for a second. Then you drop your head to his shoulder and let out a sigh. It’s the most content you’ve felt in a long time. Jihoon adjusts his arm, and you worry he doesn’t want your head on his shoulder, until he just moves it along the edge of the couch. It lets you lean against him easier, so you scoot a little closer and settle again. After another minute, he rests his head on top of yours. Without even seeming to realize it, his arm curls around your shoulder, holding you tight to him. It makes you acutely aware of his body next to yours. Moments ago, you were thinking that you could fall asleep like this. Now, you’re wide awake. 
He must sense some kind of change because he pulls his head up. “Are you okay?” 
His voice is so gentle, so full of concern. You wonder how he can sound so calm when your brain is overthinking everything. “Yeah, I just, I don’t know. Being close to you like this is really nice and not at all what I was expecting.” 
Jihoon reaches out to tilt your chin up so that he can look you in the eyes. “It doesn’t have to be something you’re not expecting. It is nice to be close to you like this.” 
That’s the other thing you can’t really believe has changed so much in a matter of days. This man is a walking contradiction in so many ways. Grumpy as a default, yet so incredibly soft. The most private person you’ve met, yet willing to share why he struggles with Christmas. Rough around the edges, yet also unfailingly kind. Constantly wearing oversized clothes, yet secretly really fit. Okay, maybe that’s not so much a contradiction as you checking him out. 
“What if I was open to it being more than just being close?” you venture.
“How much is in your adult hot cocoa?” he asks, with some obvious difficulty.
“Enough to make me a little more honest, maybe, but not even enough to get buzzed on,” you answer. 
“Then, I can say if you’re open to more than just being close, I really fucking want to kiss you,” he says. “I have all day.”
“Just all day?” you tease. He gives you an unimpressed look. “What are you waiting for?” 
“You to say it’s okay,” he says and leans closer to you. 
“It’s okay, Ji,” you whisper, lips already nearly touching. 
You’re expecting a soft kiss, are as prepared for that as you can be. And it starts off relatively soft, like he’s testing the waters. It quickly morphs into anything, but soft. It’s the kind of kiss that sets your entire body on fire. The kind of kiss that steals your breath and becomes the only thing you need. It’s steady and desperate, all at the same time. You’re not even sure how your hands find their way into his hair that curls along his neck. It’s even softer than you imagined it would be. 
“So, is this your move?” you ask, pulling away just long enough to catch your breath.
“What?” he asks. His lips are already a little swollen.
“Getting the fire going with a little music on in the background,” you tease.
“Trust me,” he begins, punctuating his words with featherlight kisses along your neck. “I’ve never gone to this much trouble for anyone and it definitely wasn’t to get here.” 
The confession is so honest. So serious. It’s completely at odds with your teasing. But, should you really expect anything else from Jihoon? He can tease with the best of them, for sure. The last few days he’s also shown that you bring out an honesty that surprises him. You’re not sure if you trust yourself to speak, so you just pull his face up to kiss him again. It’s kind of an uncomfortable position, leaning against the couch, but you’re also not really sure if you care. That is, you’re not sure you care until he turns to pull you into his lap. It’s a little awkward and you have to break the kiss to get settled. Once you’re settled, though, it’s much nicer to be straddled across him like this. Much easier to press your chest into his and keep tangling your fingers in his hair. Much easier for him to wrap his arms around you like he doesn’t want you to go anywhere. You want to tell him that there’s nowhere else in the world you’d rather be. 
As you kiss him, you let your hands wander down his arms. There’s a safety in being held by him. There’s a strength to him you really never realized, kind of quiet like he is, a little unassuming. The kind of strength that sneaks up on you when you’re not really expecting it. Not only does every part of your body respond to him, but your mind does too. It’s just safe. You’re not sure how you know, you just do. He’s the kind of person that you can really trust to see all of you and still accept you. It’s entirely too much to be feeling about someone this fast, so you push that aside. When you inch your bodies closer together, your core drags across him and sends an ache through you. You do it several more times, back and forth, craving that friction.
“Fuck,” he hisses out. 
“I’m sorry, is that too much?” you worry. Suddenly a little self-conscious that there’s been some kind of miscommunication. 
He grabs your chin and pulls you back to look into his eyes. “No. It’s never too much. I want whatever you’re willing to give me.” 
“But, you don’t know what I’m…” you start. His eyes are serious, intense. You’re burning up and it has nothing to do with the fire.
“Whatever you’re willing to give me, I’ll happily take it. Even if that means it doesn’t go past this,” he reassures you. 
“I think I want it all,” you whisper. 
“You think you do, or you actually do?” he asks. 
You study him for a moment, looking for signs that he’s going to hurry off or something. With one of his hands, he’s tracing patterns against your thigh through the material of your pants. Everything about him seems sincere. Everything seems steady. 
“I do.” 
It’s a different smile he gives you then, one that says he’s relieved, maybe even a little surprised. One that says he’s genuinely happy. But, most of all, one that says he just wants whatever the night turns into. 
“Let’s go upstairs, I don’t want you hurting your knees like this,” he says softly. 
You look over your shoulder at the fireplace and he follows your gaze. “We should…”
“I’ll take care of that, just go upstairs. To my room,” he says and you suppress a slight shudder at being told what to do. You kind of like that side of him. “Get comfortable, I’ll just be a minute.” 
You get off his lap, quietly thankful for his consideration of your knees and kiss him softly. It’s also easy to see that he’s giving you a little bit of time to be sure. To clear your head away from the tree and the fire and the holiday everything. It’s time you don’t need because you’re definitely sure. The second you step foot through his door, you realize that you’ve never been in his bedroom before. It’s beautifully decorated in a way that screams him. When you sit down on the edge of the bed, you sigh. It’s so comfortable. 
This part hasn’t ever been the easiest for you, the waiting for someone to come into the room and knowing what’s going to happen. But, you do know what’s happening and sitting there completely clothed seems silly. In the end, you settle for leaving your sleeveless shirt and underwear on, but taking everything else off, including your bra. You just have time to sit back against the bed when he walks through the door and closes it behind him. Force of habit, you assume, since there isn’t anyone else home. His eyes drink you in, scanning down your body and all your curves. It’s so immediately comfortable that you don’t have the urge to cover back up. 
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he utters and it makes you blush a little. “Has anyone ever told you that?” 
“Not in a while when I’ve been this undressed,” you answer quietly with your head down. 
You feel the bed dip and look up at him, sitting right in front of you. “That’s crazy. You’re one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known.” 
“You’re so sweet,” you say with a smile.
“It’s what you deserve,” he says and gets back off the bed. 
It’s his turn to remove the layers, stopping when all he has are his boxer briefs. You fight back a gasp (and lose, as is evident by his smirk) when he takes off his shirt. What the fuck?
“Jihoon, what the fuck? Come here,” you request. He listens, but takes his time. When he’s within your reach, you run your fingers along his stomach. Trace each ab muscle like you can’t believe this is what’s been under the shirt the whole time. 
“I work about a bit,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes.
“A bit, he says,” you tease back.
“Can I get in the bed now? Or do I have to stay here?” he asks.
“You can get in bed, but I want to be in your lap again,” you state.
“Fine by me,” he readily agrees. 
There’s a weird sense of time with him. You could kiss him for hours, may just do that. It also feels like it’s only been seconds when you pull back to catch your breath. You delight in the way he hisses when you run your nails down his stomach. Yelp when he smacks your ass in response. But, it doesn’t stop you from doing it again, maybe just so you can get another smack. You tell him not to be too gentle with you and he groans. There’s still that little bit of clothing between you, though, and it’s hard to get the friction you need. 
It’s like he senses what you want, or maybe what you need, and he positions you over one of his thighs. Helps you move back and forth to find a rhythm. It gives you that friction that you’ve been craving. He peppers kisses all over, trying to find the places that you like. Lingers wherever gets the best noises out of you. All while you grind against his thigh. When you think it can’t get better, he pulls your shirt up over your head and casts it aside. He rolls one of your nipples between his fingers. The look on his face when you arch into his fingers is so satisfied. It makes him carry on while also kissing across your chest.
“Fuck, Ji, if I keep this up I’m gonna come on your thigh,” you whimper.
“So do it,” he answers.
“I can’t, that’s…” you start, cutting off when he sucks hard into the skin of your breast. “Fuck!” 
“That’s what?” he prompts, returning to your nipple.
“I can’t come just from this,” you mutter lamely. It makes you feel like a teenager. 
“Then I better help because I want you to make a mess,” he says. 
Before you can protest, he’s kissing you again. His thumb hooks into your underwear and rubs across your clit in time with you rocking. It’s too much all at once. Too much stimulation. Too close. Too different. It all works, though, because you’re coming undone in seconds. Making a mess of his thigh just like he wanted. Screaming out his name and thankful to know nobody else can hear you. You lean forward to rest your forehead against his, trying to steady your breathing. 
“That was so hot,” he whispers into the limited space between you.
“I’ve never gotten off like that before,” you admit. 
“I wonder if there’s anything else I can pull out of you for the first time,” he says. 
“Like what?” you wonder.
“I guess we’ll see,” he answers
“I think it’s time for me to take care of you,” you say.
He kisses you gently and pulls away. “Not yet.” 
“But,” you start, only to cut off when he flips the two of you over. 
The shock over being completely manhandled by Jihoon is all you register until you feel his fingers by your hips, tugging your ruined underwear down your legs. All you can do is watch as he kisses from your ankle all the way up your inner thigh and down the other side. When he pulls himself back up your body to settle between your legs, you shiver. Try to play it off as his breath against your cunt, still slick. You watch as he spreads your lips open so that he can lick into you. 
“Fuck, Ji,” you whine out. 
“Just relax, sweetheart,” he urges before diving into you again. 
You’re expecting it to be a little frenzied. Not that you’ve never enjoyed getting eaten out, but you just kind of see it as foreplay to get through. That was before Jihoon, apparently. He takes his time, carefully builds you up again. Has you begging for something more. Has you uttering phrases that don’t make any sense. Has you seeing stars in the darkness of the room. Has you feeling the loss when he removes his mouth.
“No, Ji, please,” you beg. “Your tongue feels so good.” 
“I know,” he says and then he’s kissing you. 
He keeps kissing you as he runs a finger through your wetness, once and then again. Keeps kissing you when he slides his finger inside of you. Nips at your lip when you moan at the addition of his second finger. You can feel how tightly you’re coiled from the build up with his tongue. The way he fucks his fingers into you, you know you won’t last long. It’s hard and fast and as desperate as you felt moments ago when you begged for him. He’s relentless, even when your walls grip his fingers and your toes start to curl. You come so hard on his finger that he actually has you squirting. And honestly, he’s got you blacking out a little bit too. 
“Jesus fucking christ,” you curse when he falls beside you. “Your fingers, your mouth, oh my god.” 
“I’d ask if it was good, but I think I know the answer,” he chuckles. 
You swat at his chest, but he catches your hand and presses a kiss to your knuckles. So tender that it takes the bite out of your next statement. “Fuck off.” 
“Your body is so amazing, I could watch you come every day and never get sick of it,” he admits. 
You prop yourself up on an elbow to look at him. He’s laying on his back, hand casually running over his already hard dick through his briefs. You move his hand and free him. There’s a hunger in his gaze as he watches you spit into your hand and start running it along his shaft. 
“Go slow,” he requests and you look at up at him. “Watching you is so hot that I’m a little wound up. And I still want to fuck you.” 
“Jihoon, you’ve already…” you start. 
“Please. You can take care of me anytime. I want to feel you around me,” he whispers. It’s not quite a beg, but it’s close. All you can do is nod okay. “I need to hear you.”
“Yes, Ji, I want you to fuck me,” you say. 
He rolls over on the bed to reach into the bedside table and rustles around for a minute. The sign before he rolls back over sounds bad. “I don’t have a condom. It’s, uh, well it’s been awhile.” 
“It’s okay,” you say.
“I guess maybe this will have to…” he starts.
“No, I mean it’s fine. I’m on birth control and it’s been awhile for me too, so it’s fine. I trust you,” you say, finding you do actually trust him. 
“Are you sure?” he checks.
“Fuck, yes, please. I don’t care that you’ve made me come twice already, please fuck me,” you insist and it works. He smiles and slides his briefs off. 
In another second, he’s positioning himself between your legs again. You lay back against the pillow behind your head and just look up at him, so impossibly fond. It’s too soon to be this fond. But, you see the same look in his eyes, so maybe you’re not alone. He lines himself up and drags his tip against your entrance. Opens the lube you hadn’t even noticed and takes it into his hand. He lets it warm up for a second before running his hand over his dick. Then, he’s back at your entrance and slowly pressing into you. He takes his time letting you adjust, watches your face for signs that it’s okay. He leans forward to kiss you and it’s so gentle you want to cry. 
You’re glad this is slow, that he’s taking his time. It’s not that you’re inexperienced, it’s just that you can’t remember the last time you felt this comfortable with anyone. You’re not sure you’ve ever known how nice it was to just look into someone’s eyes while you’re fucking. Not sure you’ve wanted to be this close. Jihoon’s body is pressed against yours as he thrusts into you, but it’s still not enough. You wrap your legs around his hips, run your fingers down his back, arch into him. Anything to meld your bodies together that much more. He’s not as vocal now, but you’re probably taking care of that for both of you. You can see all the things he wants to say in the eyes that stay trained on you. 
His thrusts start to get a little off rhythm and your moans become more broken. “Fuck, Ji, yes! Right there.”
“I’m gonna fucking come, oh my god,” he moans out. 
“Me too,” you whine. “Fuck, it’s too much.”
“Come for me, please, I need to feel you,” he very nearly begs. 
“Fuck, I’m coming!” you scream out. 
Your whole body shudders and you sort of register the praise coming from Jihoon. He follows right behind you, releasing into you. You can tell he’s trying to keep his weight off of you, but you pull him to just let go. Reluctantly, he settles his body down on top of yours. The weight is pleasant and being close to him is even better. After a moment, his breathing falls into line with yours. It’s several moments longer before he carefully pulls out of you and rolls to the side. 
“Wow,” he says. You can hear the smile in his voice.
“Yeah,” you agree. 
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It’s much later than usual for you by the time you wake up on Christmas morning. But, it had been late by the time you and Jihoon had gotten cleaned up and back in bed. Even later by the time you stopped wanting to talk while all cuddled up. When you wake up, you feel his chest pressed into your back and his arm draped across your body. The second you start to move, his arm tightens and he somehow pulls you closer to him. He presses kiss into your hair. 
“Merry Christmas,” he says, voice thick with sleep.
“Merry Christmas,” you answer. 
He adjusts behind you and you realize he’s a little hard again, pressing into your ass. Even though you know it’s not fair, you wiggle your ass against him. You’re more than a little surprised when he bucks, just once, into you in response. 
“Sorry, I’m sure you’re a little sore this morning,” he says, still hoarse. 
“Not so sore,” you answer, pressing back again.
“Don’t you want to see what’s under the tree?” he asks, the teasing clear in his voice.
You turn over so you’re facing him. “I think I’d rather unwrap this present first.”
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he groans. But, he pulls you against him all the same, clearly not opposed. 
Once you’re both showered again and dressed, you pad downstairs and straight into the kitchen to find Jihoon is already at the counter getting the coffee going. He looks so cute with his messy, wet hair, that you can’t help yourself. You have to come up and hug him from behind. Place a kiss between his shoulder blades and then rest your head. All he can do is just put a hand over yours. 
“What do you want for breakfast?” you ask when you pull away. 
“The cinnamon rolls you insisted we had to have,” he says like it’s obvious.
By the time you get those in the oven, he’s handing you a perfect cup of coffee, exactly the way you like it. It feels like neither of you can be physically separated. Hands finding each other as you move around the kitchen. Little kisses as you pass by. Just drawn together like magnets. Once the cinnamon rolls come out, and you add the extra icing that you insisted on, the two of you head to the living room. 
You think you were supposed to text or call Jun when you open his present, but you’re a little stuck on opening the things Jihoon got you at the last minute. He insists that you go first and open your presents so that he can see your reaction. The first couple are silly, but thoughtful. Just little things that show he’s actually been paying attention to you much longer than you realized. Not that he had some kind of crush or anything, just that he pays attention when people talk. When you think you’re done, he pulls out a small box. 
“I wanted you to open this last,” he says in response to your confused look. 
It’s a small box, very nicely wrapped. You open it to find a beautiful necklace, simple and stunning. Exactly the kind of thing you like to wear. But, exactly the type of thing you can’t accept. “JIhoon, it’s beautiful. But, you must know it’s too much. I can’t take this.” 
“I didn’t spend anything on it,” he assures you and slides closer so he can look down at it in the box. “It was my grandmother’s. And before you say you can’t take it again, she’d want someone to have it. She wanted to pass her jewelry on, but was so sick of our family. I think she’d really like you, so I want you to have it.”
“Thank you,” you say softly and lean forward to kiss him. 
Watching Jihoon open the little things that you got him is everything you hoped it would be. He’s so appreciative of each thing, even if they seem small to you. They’re all things he says he really needs. To him, that’s one of the best kinds of gifts because it shows that you’re listening. It shows that you want to make someone else’s life just a little easier. It nearly makes you emotional when he’s the one opening things. 
You want to stay curled up on the couch with Jihoon forever, watching stupid Christmas movies and invading his personal space. He grumbles a little at you clinging to him, but pouts the second you pull away. Sadly, you have to get up to start some of the cooking for Christmas dinner. Jihoon offers to help, knows you’re feeling a little sore, and you wave him off. Cooking at Christmas is one of your favorite things. You get your music going and don’t even register anything else. You don’t hear his footsteps or his voice talking to someone.
“Hey, Ji? Do you think I should make all the rolls? Probably, right?” you ask and turn around to see he’s standing in the doorway holding his phone up.
“Did my bestie just call you Ji?” a voice asks from the phone. 
“Uh, yeah,” Jihoon answers and closes the distance to you. He hands over the phone. “Jun was looking for you.”
“Oh, hi, Junie! How’s your parents’?” you ask. His eyes scan you and you look down too late. You’re not wearing your shirt, it’s one of Jihoon’s that you stole because it was more comfortable.
“Not as good as it is there, apparently,” Jun says with a giggle. 
“Oh, well, you see…” you start and Jun is cackling. 
“I’ll let you get back to cooking, but expect to have a long conversation when I’m home,” he says once he stops laughing.
“You sound like my parent,” you whine. 
“Just try and tell me there’s nothing to talk about,” Jun challenges and you look over at Jihoon sitting at the kitchen table. 
“I can’t,” you say, still looking at him.
“I knew it,” Jun says, triumphant. “Give the phone back to Ji…”
“You don’t get to call me that,” Jihoon chimes in.
“So much to talk about,” Jun repeats as you hand the phone back over. 
The rest of the afternoon passes too quickly. Jihoon stays in the kitchen with you when you have to cook and lounges on the couch with you watching movies when you’re waiting for things to finish. He helps wherever he can and genuinely seems to appreciate the effort that you’re taking. Well, he appreciates it almost as much as the dinner itself when you sit down to eat. Without question, it’s the best Christmas you can remember. It turns out that maybe you were right all along. Christmas wasn’t about presents or specific people or anything. It was about feeling joy and thankful and just a deep connection with whoever you were with. It makes you realize you do need to talk to Jihoon, though. 
After dinner, the two of you settle back on the couch with a glass of wine. His free hand traces patterns into your legs that are across his lap. “Hey, so about what Jun said…” 
“Jun is an idiot,” Jihoon brushes off.
“He is, but he also has a point. There’a a lot to talk about,” you say. He turns his head to look at you.
“I meant what I said last night, I’ll take whatever you want to give me,” he says and takes another sip of wine. 
“But, that’s so…I don’t know,” you start, searching for the words. 
He just shrugs like you’re talking about something so simple. Maybe you are. “I’m pretty open about things when I’m comfortable. I’m also kind of an all in or all out guy. I don’t know, that’s probably too much. I’m happy with whatever you’re comfortable giving me.” 
“You’re going to make me fall for you, Lee Jihoon,” you tease lightly. You’re also testing a little bit.
He smiles at you, that soft one that makes his eyes crinkle. “That doesn’t sound so bad to me.” 
“I guess it doesn’t,” you agree. 
“Thank you for being the best thing about Christmas in a long time,” he says. So honest. It’s so simple, too. 
“It’s been perfect,” you agree. “The only thing that could make it better is…”
“Snow,” he interrupts.
“Yeah,” you agree.
He shakes his head and points to the window. “No, it’s snowing.” 
You turn your head to follow his finger and see he’s right. Snow falls in light, beautiful swirls just outside the window. You can’t remember the last white Christmas you had, even living somewhere it snows. 
“Wow, this really is the perfect Christmas,” you whisper. 
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i hope you liked it. please reblog or leave a comment to let me know your thoughts 💕
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katiexpunk · 5 months
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okay i’m feeling a little delulu and playing pool with the boys right now. ideas are rolling and i want a fic where joel fucks reader on a pool table (breeding kink maybe?!?) you’re the best
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Run the Table | Pairing Joel and Tommy Miller X Fem!Reader
Summary: You're home for Christmas, only to find yourself there for the New Year. You decide to blow off some steam, only to end up at Joel's Place, your old local watering hole. Bits of your past get dredged up, and before you know it, Joel and Tommy have you bent over a pool table. Word Count: ~6K Warnings: Dubcon from the perspective that the reader is a little drunk, but she's definitely a willing participant. Family feuds. Alcohol. Age gap implied but not referenced explicitly. Flirting and bantering. Threesome with the Miller Bros. Betting. Pool. Oral (m and f receiving). Fingering. Praise. Use of daddy. Fucking on pool table. Pool. Suggestive use of a cue stick. Dom undertones from Joel. Hard core breeding kink. References to pregnancy. Cum kink. Cum swallowing. Praise kink. Unprotected p in v. Creampie. Use of pet names. Tommy and Joel are suave in this, but reader gives them a run for their money. Use of slut. No descriptions of reader, except that she has boobs and hair. Minimally edited. Filth, filth, filth. Authors Note: Thank you so much for the ask, Abby @javipispunk/@barzalmatty! This was such a treat to write. You naughty girl, I hope this inspires you, or at the very least, makes you O. Thanks for submitting this ask in babe, ily. This will be my last fic of 2023. Thank you all so much for your continued support.
Masterlist | Read on AO3 | Notifications
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The living room, which was all holiday cozy a few days ago, now feels like a battleground in the weird liminal space between Christmas and the New Year. You can’t remember the last time you spent more than three consecutive days with your family, and now you remember why. 
The family drama has hit an all-time high, with arguments about the dumbest stuff echoing through the house – your mother yelling that someone put her Pyrex in the wrong cabinet, your father yelling at your brother for adjusting the settings on the remote. Hell, even the dog is over it; spending most of the day lounging in front of the LED fireplace that your mother picked up at Costco last winter. You never really understood that one, given your living room has an actual functioning fireplace. 
Of course, you all love each other, it’s just that the festive candle is now nearly snuffed out; not to be lit again until Thanksgiving. Or if your mother had it her way, Easter, but you haven’t cared much for Easter since that one year that your cousin Ron ate way too many hard-boiled eggs and couldn’t stop farting all night. Never again, you swore to yourself then, and still swear to yourself now. 
You come back to your hometown maybe once a year, twice if someone dies. You haven’t lived here in years, and yet the streets bear the weight of nostalgia, each corner holding echoes of memories that time has both polished and weathered. The town is a paradox, frozen in a bittersweet dance between familiarity and change. 
You’re cozied up under a blanket on the couch, a glass of red swirling in one hand, the Eve Babitz novel your roommate gifted to you in the other. Try as you might, you just can’t seem to relax; the words on the page are blending into a snarled blob of ink. The tension is too much; the heavy air in the house makes it difficult to concentrate. Fuck this. 
You throw on your coat and slip out of the house. I’m going out, be back later, you call out but you don’t wait for your words to be acknowledged before the front door slams shut, not that anyone was listening in the first place. 
You pause on your front stoop in the cool night air and take a deep inhale, tilting your head up to the sky, the moonlight coating your face like a veil. The winter air that fills your lungs makes you feel alive, and it’s then that you realize how close you were to suffocating mere moments ago. 
You stand under the stars and consider your options before eventually landing on the best of them. Your old watering hole from college; the one with the heavy pours and the best pool tables in the town – Joel’s Place. 
The snow crunches under your feet as you make your way there. In the silence, it’s easy to let your let your mind wander. You haven’t been back in years, and yet, your mind still drifts to thoughts of dimples and salt-and-pepper curls. You wonder if he’ll remember you – not likely, you think. 
Your stomach flutters at the thought anyway.
++++ 
The door to Joel’s Place creaks open, releasing a gust of frigid winter air that clings to your coat. Note to self, bring a scarf next time. The warmth inside is a welcome contrast, and the familiar scent of the aged wood and whiskey acts like a time machine and transports you back in time to your early 20s. It’s just the same; the mahogany bar, stools with cracked leather seats, and vintage beer signs adorning the walls. 
While aspects of the town may have changed, you’re pleased to find that Joel’s Place has not. 
As the door swings shut behind you, you find yourself in a familiar dimly lit space, except – it’s not – it’s quiet. A little too quiet. The pool tables in the distance stand untouched, their felt surfaces waiting for the familiar crack of balls colliding. The hanging lights above them cast a warm, dim glow, illuminating the emptiness that seems to linger. It starkly contrasts the energy you were surrounded by earlier in the night. 
The place is empty, except for one customer at the bar. The bartender – Joel, you hope – is nowhere to be seen. You hesitate for a moment, taking in the scene before deciding to sit an appropriate two stools away from the man, not wanting to be awkward. You don’t think he would mind, not really, but you suppose the rule in a situation like this is similar to public transport etiquette. If there’s more than one open seat, you never sit directly next to anyone. 
“Excuse me, sir – is this seat taken?” You ask, a hint of sweetness and formality behind your voice. You know it’s not, but the manners that were hammered into you from your tidy upbringing are hard to shake.
The man looks at you, the neck of the beer he’s nursing parting from his lips as he does. Now that you have a full look at him, he’s quite gorgeous. Olive sunkissed skin, dark curls, deep brown eyes that all but scream trouble. 
“All yours, sugar,” he responds. And oh, he’s southern to boot, with a hint of a twang behind his inflection. 
You slip your puffy coat off your shoulders, revealing your ensemble for the night; a simple pair of jeans and a tight long-sleeve cashmere sweater that cups the curve of your breasts and lifts them just right, a lovely slit down the middle that exposes just enough. You hook your coat under the bar and pull out the stool, its metal legs scratching against the floor as you do. 
“So, the producers didn’t have enough to pay for some extras for this show, or what?” you joke, a slight smirk on your face as you settle yourself onto the stool. 
“‘Spose not,” he responds, a hint of a smile on his face as he brings the bottle back to his lips, his eyes locking with yours as he does. 
“And the uh–bartender, Joel, if I remember correctly,” you say, a questioning tone behind your voice, “he here, or is this just a one-man show?” 
And wouldn’t that be something, you here all alone with just him. 
“Can’t be a one-man show with you here, darlin',” he responds, his dark eyes drinking you down like the beer in his hand. “He’s here, just in the back hooking up a new keg,” he adds. 
“Oh,” you respond, your voice a smidge too high – like you’re some fucking school girl about to see her crush in 3rd period. “Good, that’s good. Can’t have all of our friends here go thirsty,” you retort, making a vague gesture with your palm to the empty space in the bar in an attempt to recover yourself from your very obvious interest in the bartender being here. So stupid. 
“Can’t have that, they’re a rowdy bunch” he responds with a wink and you flash him a warm smile. “You’re funny, I like you,” he adds, “name’s Tommy, by the way, and you are?” 
You give him yours with an extension of your hand. His swallows yours, but he’s gentle and discerning with the shake he gives it. He holds you there, just looking, and you feel a warmth creep up to your face. With your hands still interlocked, a broad figure pushes through the door from the kitchen with a resounding thud. 
You turn to face him, and his amber eyes immediately find yours. Your breath hitches in your throat, your pulse quickens, and you’re now acutely aware of the fact that you’re still linked with Tommy. 
“Well, I’ll be damned. Either ‘m getting old and my eyes are deceiving me, or it’s little Miss Shark sitting at my bar, chatting up my brother,” Joel lets out, his voice low and even. The corners of his mouth lift and you think he might smile, but his face goes just as unreadable as always as he grabs for a bottle behind the bar. “Been a long time since I’ve seen you around here, sweetheart. Good thing, too. You ran out some of my best-paying customers."
You don’t dwell on the comment, your mind is too absorbed, drunk off the fact that he remembers you. It’s been years, but you swear he hasn’t aged a day. You can’t help but eye fuck him as he slides a glass in front of you, and pours you a finger of whiskey. Not only does he remember you, but he remembers your go-to drink, as well. 
As you lift the edge of the glass to your lips, you see Tommy shift his gaze from Joel and back to you, his face twisted in an expression of disbelief. 
“Wait, little Miss Shark,” he begins, tipping the bottle in his hands in your direction as if to point at you, “Yo–you’re the one who ran the tables here for years? Shit, darlin’,” he says, dropping his gaze to the bartop for a moment, trying to hide the fact that he’s impressed, before looking back at you under his lashes. 
“That so hard to believe?” you respond, your voice coated in the warmth of the alcohol. Your cheeks are hot, but you’re not confident it’s just from the liquor; more than likely it’s a result of Joel’s eyes, heavy like boulders, that haven’t left you since he walked in.
Tommy doesn’t answer you. 
“Not my fault they underestimated me,” you retort, nursing down the amber liquid in your glass. 
Joel laughs. 
You and Tommy both turn to face him. 
“Bullshit, sweetheart. You knew exactly what the hell you were doin’,” he adds, nodding his head slightly to you, the bottle hovering in his hand, signaling you for a refill. He pours a glass for him and Tommy this time, too. 
You look at him, mouth slightly agape like you’re waiting for him to finish his side of the story. He turns to face Tommy, one hand resting on the edge of the bartop, his knuckles bleaching under his weight. The other grips the glass in front of him. 
“This one used to sit at my bar, let men buy her free drinks, and then she’d work pool into the conversation,” he says, pausing to take a sip. “She’d be all, ‘I’ve never played, maybe you could teach me blah, blah’ batting her pretty little eyes until they’d cave. By the end of the night, she’d have them makin’ bets and melting like putty in her hands.” 
You try to hide your embarrassment behind your glass. He’s not wrong. You used to do that. You’re not sure if you did it because you were bored, not like there’s much else to do in this shit town anyway, or because you liked the attention, but whatever the reason you have to admit it was fun. 
Besides, most of them deserved it anyway. If losing a few hundred dollars was the biggest price they’d have to pay for flirting with a young college girl while their wives sat at home waiting for them to come home and half satisfy them, well then, you were okay with that. Plus it kept your rent paid.
But that was a long time ago; it’s been ages since you’ve even picked up a pool stick. You just hope that the old idiomatic expression, old habits die hard, rings true for you now. 
The alcohol that courses through your veins gives you a sense of confidence to be a bit bold. You prop your elbows on the sticky bartop and gaze up at Joel. “You gonna kick me out then, Joel? Punish me for all of my wrong-doings?” you flirt, testing, teasing. You flint your eyes over your shoulder to look back at Tommy, and can’t help the surge of arousal that you feel when you notice his eyes are already on your backside. You look at Joel and see the clench in his jaw, the furrow in his brow, his pupils blown wide open. 
“No, ‘m not gonna kick you out, sweetheart,” he says, filling the glasses once more. Between that and the wine from earlier this afternoon, you’re already feeling quite buzzed, and more than a little reckless. You watch him complete the pours before reaching for your glass. 
“But you are gonna have to make it up to me somehow,” he adds. Your pulse doubles and there’s a familiar tug at your navel when you think of what he might mean. Before you have time to respond, he adds “Tell you what, I’ll make you a bet this time. You see Tommy here is a bit of a pool shark himself, and well, baby you already know what I am.” Both of them look at you with dark, hungry eyes. “You beat us, you can have whatever you want,” he adds. 
Your skin feels hot, and you suddenly wish you opted for something cooler than a sweater. “And if either of you wins?” you ask. 
“Guess you’ll just have to wait and find out,” Joel responds, downing the last of his drink, shooting Tommy a knowing look. 
It’s a trap, you know it is. 
And yet you agree.
++++ 
Joel rounds out from behind the bar and leads the way. He walks past the front door and locks it before pulling the plug on the neon open sign that hands in the nearby window. As you three approach the pool table, Tommy picks up a cue stick leaning against the nearby wall – he twirls it in his hands and hands it to you. He picks up another and passes it to Joel, before finally grabbing a third for himself. 
“Hope you’re not a sore loser, Darlin’,” Tommy says with a wink. 
You playfully roll your eyes. “We’ll see,” you cheekily respond, toying with the end of the cue stick and rubbing chalk on the tip end of it, being a little suggestive with your movements. Both Tommy and Joel notice.
You gather around the table, and Joel sets up the balls. “Alright, break time. You’re up first, sweetheart,” Joel says. You lock eyes with Joel for a moment and fuck, this is gonna be rough. He has you so flustered and you haven’t even started. 
You refocus your gaze on the triangular arrangement of balls. You steady your feet and bend over the table, smiling a little when you feel both of them look at your ass. With a swift motion, you strike the cue ball, scattering the rest across the table, sinking a solid and a stripe into two adjacent pockets. Not so bad for being a little rusty, you think. 
Joel lets out a low whistle and looks at Tommy. “Shit, brother, we might be in trouble here,” he says. You smile at the compliment, and round around the table so you’re directly in front of Tommy. You look at Joel as you bend over the table, lining yourself up to hit the solid ball with a clear path to the pocket in front of it.
Your ass skirts against the front of Tommy’s crotch and his breath hitches in his throat. As you’re about to take your shot, a large palm ghosts over the curve of your hip, and the sensation causes you to miss the shot. Fuck. 
“Aw, what’s the matter sweetheart, you a little distracted?” Tommy coos.
They wanna play dirty. You can play dirty.  
Joel’s up next. His broad frame rounds around the table, and his shoulder brushes against you as he does. He finds his best angle and deftly lines the cue stick up, his biceps straining under the cloth of his shirt at the new position. You walk over to the line of his shot and bend over on the opposite end of the table, your tits spilling out of the slit in your shirt, effectively distracting him. He takes his shot and misses.
They wanna play dirty. You can play dirty.  
“Ooo, good effort on that one,” you tell Joel, placating him, “better luck next time,” you conclude with a wink. Joel clears his throat and steps back from the table. 
Tommy circles the table next, attempting to find an easy shot. “So I’ve been thinking, we should make this game a bit more interesting,” you say. You watch as Tommy bends over and lines up his turn. He pulls the cue stick back, and just as he’s about to knock it against the ball, you finish “For every shot we miss, we have to strip a piece of clothing." The shock of your words causes Tommy to miss his shot. 
“Guess that means you’re starting us off,” you tell Tommy. He shoots you a look. His hands find the buckle of his belt and he undoes it, discarding it on a nearby chair. 
The three of you play like that until both Joel and Tommy are clad in nothing but their boxers and socks. You, on the other hand, are still mostly clothed, except for your sweater. Your game started rough, but despite their best efforts to distract you, you’re running the table. 
With only one ball left on the table, you walk up to where both of them stand side-by-side. You stand there facing both of them, and they allow their eyes to linger on your chest. Tommy is standing with his hands cupped in front of his crotch, in an attempt to hide his growing bulge. Joel, however, is unreadable as ever.
You lock eyes with him as you snake your arms behind your back, fiddling with the clasp of your bra. You unhook it, your nipples stiffening in response to air. He casts a quick gaze down to your breasts but doesn’t allow them to linger before he looks at you. His jaw is stiff, and he looks at you like you’re something to eat. Keeping your eyes peered into his, you hold the bra out and give it to Tommy. The moment is so charged. So many things being said with no words, all body language discussion. 
You take a few steps back before turning around to grab your cue stick that’s resting against the edge of the pool table. You walk over to the other end of the table and line up the final shot of the game. “So I’ve been thinking about what I want as my prize,” you say, bending down far enough that your tits smush against the felt on the table. “And what’s that, sweetheart?” Joel asks.  You let out a little hum of satisfaction, dragging the cue stick back. “Want you both to fuck me, right here on this table,” you add, punctuating your statement with your final shot. You watch with bated breath, releasing it when you see the last ball on the table fall into the pocket. 
The three of you stand there in silence, waiting for someone to make the first move.
“You heard her, brother,” Tommy says, advancing towards you. “A bet’s a bet.” His hands find your hips from behind, and he pulls your backside against his firm body, dropping his head to nip at your neck. His lips trail up the side of the sensitive skin there and you let out a little purr as his tongue darts out to lick your pulse. 
Your lusty gaze watches as Joel closes the gap between your bodies, and he pauses inches from you. He lifts his palm and uses the backside of it, trailing his knuckles down your cheek, over the soft swell of your chest, until his hand opens up and cups your breast. 
It’s all dizzying touch, your vision already a little fuzzy from your buzz, and with Joel’s hand on your body in addition to Tommy’s mouth, you’re the one who’s putty in their hands this time. Joel brings your nipple to a stiff peak using his thumb and forefinger, before he lifts them back up to your face. He hooks two fingers under your jaw, tilting you up to face him.
“You’re such a fucking tease, you know that?” Joel says, voice low. You look up at him with doe eyes.
“I know. Now what are you going to do about it?” you taunt. 
Tommy stops his affections on your neck and looks up to lock eyes with Joel. He gives a knowing smirk and Tommy reaches his arms around your body and begins to undo the button on your jeans, the zipper following, before he's pulling them down far enough for you to step out of them. 
“Oh, sweetheart. We’re going to fucking ruin you. Right here on this table, just like you asked,” Joel says. 
“Think you can handle that, hmm? Want both of your daddy’s to stuff that pretty little cunt of yours until you can’t think straight?” And fuck, he’s filthy. His words go straight to your core and you feel slick pooling in your panties, your pussy just begging to be touched.
Before giving you time to respond, his large hand comes down to cup your sex. 
“Shit, baby. All this for us?” Joel asks. Your eyes close when you feel Tommy continue his assault on your neck. You’re pinned between both of their bodies, their hard cocks pressing up against you from both angles. It’s already so intense. The want, the sheer desire you feel for both of them is almost overwhelming. 
“Use your words, Darlin’, we wanna hear it,” Tommy rasps against your skin.
“Ye–yes, all for you both, want you so bad,” you respond with a moan. A groan reverberates through Joel’s chest, and he gives Tommy the same knowing look they’ve shared all night. 
Tommy steps back and comes to stand by Joel’s side. “You’re gonna have to earn it. On your knees, baby,” Joel commands. 
You fall to your knees and feel the hard, wooden floor against your bare calves. You position yourself in front of both of them and fold your hands in your lap, waiting for one of them to give you further instructions, practically worshipping at the altar of the two gorgeous men above you. Joel reaches down and brings his pointer finger to lift your chin to face him. He runs his thumb over your lips.
“So pretty like this,” he rasps. As he releases you, they both nod and you take that as permission to release both of them from the confines of their fabric prison. 
You start with Tommy, dipping your fingers beneath the band of his boxers. Instinctively, your eyes find Joel’s and you glance at him as if to ask for permission again. He nods once more, and you drag them down to the middle of Tommy’s thighs. The cock that springs free is fucking delectable; a perfect width and a sizable length. The tip is prominent and there’s a thick vein bulging along the side of it. He’s well endowed, and thank fuck for that. Your hands reach up to grasp the base of it, and your tongue darts out to lick the bead of pre-cum that’s welled at the tip. It’s salty and delicious, leaving you wanting more, more, more. 
You pull your mouth away from Tommy and replace it with your hand, slowly and firmly stroking the length of him, his skin smooth like butter under your palm. He starts to protest when he realizes what your next move is. You use your free hand to release Joel from his fabric confines and moan at the sight of his cock. Of course, they both would be blessed below the belt. As delicious as Tommy’s cock is, his older brother has a bit of a lead on him.
Truthfully, you’re not surprised in the slightest. Joel’s cock is well above average in length, but the main attraction is the thickness. Just from the looks of it, your fingers probably wouldn’t meet if you wrapped your fingers around him. His girthiness intimidates you, but you don’t scare easily. You were hungry before, but now you’re positively ravenous. You kitten lick Joel’s tip then fully suck on it, eliciting a throaty groan from him. You smile around it, pleased at yourself for being able to affect him like that.
You want to please the pair of dangerously handsome brothers, but you’re aching for praise from Joel. 
“Lay back, baby,” Tommy commands, guiding your hips up to rest against the grain of the pool table. And you do, the texture of the felt rubbing against your back in a soft embrace. Both of their hands find your chest with flat palms, and they drag them down over the expanse of your breasts and stomach. They pause, both of them face-to-face with your cunt. ‘Go ‘head brother, all yours,” Joel says to Tommy. 
And shit, the hot mouth that greets your wet core is inviting in more ways than one. His lips lock around your waiting clit and you moan in response to the sensation. As Tommy sucks at your center, his tongue making perfect rotations on your clit, you can’t help but let go.
“Shit, that’s so good – need more,” you beg, and Joel can tell the ask you’re making is for him. He slips his middle finger into your pussy, and your wall clenches around him. The pressure that Tommy applies to your clit is so good, you could probably come just from him, but the added drag of Joel’s finger sawing in and out of you reminds you that you want more, need more, need him. 
“Joel, yes – fuck, yes, please don’t stop,” you beg. Tommy continues tracing patterns over your clit and Joel adds a second, then a third finger, which you greedily accept. “More!” you beg, and Joel obliges, slipping a fourth finger into you. “Such a tight fucking cunt, not sure how I could fit another, but happy to stretch you out baby, gotta get you ready f'us,” Joel says. Tommy purrs as he laps up your release, and Joel groans, wishing he was the one at your chef’s table, sampling all of your flavors.
With the way both of them work at you, you feel like a helpless fish, caught on their hook. They dropped the bait and you were quick to bite, now having to pay the price for your decision. The both of them reel in their line, pulling you closer and closer to your orgasm. They drag you to the water line of your orgasm, and you give up any hope of staying below the shoreline.
Your release washes over you like a wake from a boat, an inevitable. You let the waters fall from your shore before you open your eyes and see both of them, their hard cocks staring you in the eyes. Giving you a moment to come up for air, Joel gently strokes your cheek, an act of tenderness amongst the debauchery taking place. 
Tommy gives Joel a knowing look and lifts his right leg to help hoist him onto the pool table. With you spread out underneath both of them, he positions himself right above your head. You all but drool at the sight of him stroking his cock from this vantage point, Tommy looking down at you as if he were seeing his reflection in a pond for the first time. His jaw hangs slack as he works himself from base to tip.
Meanwhile, Joel’s hands find your hips and he deftly tugs you down, so your waiting pussy is just barely hanging over the edge of the pool table. He puts your legs over his brawny forearms, bearing the weight of your lower half, and spreads your legs wide, fully exposing your glistening cunt to him.
You’re almost shivering with how badly you want his cock inside you. He grabs the base of it in one hand, the tip of him barely ghosting against your wet and dripping seam. He collects some of your arousal on him, before using his thumb to drag it over the length of his member. 
He knows he could fuck you just like this, lord knows you’re wet enough, and he's done his due diligence to stretch you, but he knows he’s a lot to take. He leans his head down and spits, his saliva falls onto the tip of him, partially covering himself and your clit. He taps the mushroom head of his cock on your clit a few times, a thin string of saliva connecting both of your bodies as he pulls it back. 
As much as you would love to focus on Tommy’s length in your face, your sole attention is on Joel, who’s about to fill you to the hilt. “Mouth wide open, baby,” Tommy begs above you, calling you back to his attention. You feign your hardest to listen. You open your jaw wide, and he places the tip of his cock on the tip of your tongue, dragging the heaviness of it over the expanse of it.
Just as he slides in deeper into your wet and waiting mouth, Joel bunts his hips forward, pressing half of him into your tight hole. It’s so much, and they’re both not even halfway in yet. 
They lock eyes with each other and synchronize their thrusts. Joel pulls back and thrusts into your cunt, and Tommy pulls back momentarily before your mouth welcomes him deeper into your throat, so deep in fact that the tip of him bumps up against the back of it, nearly causing you to gag. The corners of your eyes prick with tears, and whether it’s from the stretch of Joel’s cock, or the head of Tommy’s knocking on the back door of your throat, you’ll never know. 
“Shit, brother. She’s taking this cock so well, Jesus fuck,” Tommy mutters, thrusting his member in and out of you with a relentless pace, his hands now tangled in your hair like a bird's nest in a tree.
“God damn, you’re telling me. Little cunt is taking me so well,” and his words cause you to clench harder around him. 
“Gotta ease up baby, or both of your daddy’s are gonna fill you sooner than we both want to,” Tommy rasps behind a breathless voice, “so good, so fucking good, my god.” You revel in their doubled praise and you can’t help but clench tighter, and Joel notices. 
“Ah fuck, brother. I think that’s what she wants. Little slut wants us to pump her full of our cum,” Joel rasps, continuing his relentless pace, dragging his cock in and out of you. You moan in response, your words muffled around the expanse of Tommy, “Fuck, want you to fill me up so bad, both of you.” 
“You hear that,” Tommy says in a breathless voice. “You heard her, give the girl what she wants,” Tommy encourages Joel. And fuck. These two are going to be the death of you. 
“That what you want, sweetheart? Want Daddy Joel and Daddy Tommy to pump you full of all of our seed, want us to leave you dripping with both of us,” Joel says, his pace quickening, his grip on your hips strong enough to bruise. “Yes, fuck, fill me up, want every last drop of both of my daddy’s cum.” 
Joel looks up at Tommy.
“Wouldn’t that be quite the fucking sight? Her all round from your baby, her pretty tits engorged with milk, me fucking dribbling out of her mouth," Tommy says.
"Such a dirty little slut, so good for us,” Tommy praises. Had anyone else uttered those words your skin would crawl, but it’s different coming from the pair of them. You’d let them spread you open wide and fuck you full of their come any day. 
“Fuck, I think she likes the thought of that, I can feel her clamping down on me, gripping me so goddamn tight, brother,” Joel rasps. Your lips tighten around Tommy, and they both continue to use you, fucking you like they want, like how you know you need. They abuse both of your holes in their relentless chase for their own orgasm. 
“Shit brother, ‘m close, not gonna last much longer,” Tommy groans, and you can tell. His cock stiffens and his pulses become more and more erratic.  
“Not yet, need her to come again for us first,” Joel demands, dropping his thumb to your clit, beginning to drag slow and near-perfect circles over your sensitive bud. 
“Need you to give us one more. C’mon, you can do it,” Joel continues to egg you on. “You’re so pretty when you come, give us one more, baby. Our perfect girl, let us feel it.”
With that, your whole body convulses and your vision goes white. You can’t help the shakes that follow, your entire body trembling like an earthquake. “Fuckfuckfuck, yesssss,” you cry out, your release taking over you like watercolor paint spilling onto paper, blurring the lines your pleasure has always been confined to – until now. 
Joel and Tommy continue their movements, slowing as they reach their own peaks. “So close, baby, gonna come down this pretty fucking throat, gonna be a good girl and swallow your daddy’s thick load,” Tommy grunts out before he stills and shoots his spend down your throat. It’s so much, some dribbles out the corners of your mouth and down your chin. 
Joel watches as you greedily swallow his brother's load. “Such a good girl. You gonna tell your pretty little cunt to swallow all of me too, hmm? Gonna flood that little pussy with my load, fill you so full,” he raps. “Gonna plug you so good after ‘m done, not drop is gonna go to waste, baby.” 
You gulp, swallowing the rest of Tommy’s spend before answering, “Yes, Joel, p-please fill me up with your come, daddy,” you squawk out, voice hoarse from Tommy’s crusade on your mouth. 
“As you wish, pretty girl,” Joel teases, as if he wasn’t the one to come up with the idea. 
He thrusts once, twice and he’s filling you with his cum, just as he promised. He stills inside of you, and his forehead comes to rest on your chest. The sticky sweat on his skin makes it tacky, clinging to you in a way that parallels how you’re clinging to this moment. Both of your chests are heaving, ragged breaths coming out almost in sync. 
After a few long moments, Joel reluctantly lifts his head up and slowly pulls out, but before any of his load drips out he uses a finger to plug your hole. You gasp and your body jolts from the oversensitivity. “Makin’ sure it sticks, darlin’,” Joel coos in your ear and gently moves the stray strands of hair from your face.  
Thoroughly fucked out, you ask the pair of them, “So just out of curiosity, what would you have asked for if either of you had won?” 
They both look at each other as if to decide if they want to tell you the truth or not. 
“Come back next year for a rematch and we’ll tell you,” Tommy says. 
With the way both of them look at you, how could you not? 
It’s not even January and yet, here you are – excited for Easter. 
What a fucking plot twist that is. 
END
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Tagging moots and those who I think might like this: @endlessthxxghts @sydneyinacoma @bastardmandennis @untamedheart81@lavema @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @dugiioh @nervoushottee @milly-louise @ghostwritesthings@josephquinnswhore @drunk-and-capable @peachmy @survivingandenduring@darkheartgatita @hotgirlbedtimescenarios @ohheypedrito @joeldjarin @nerdieforpedro @joeldjarin @nerdieforpedro @amyispxnk @paleidiot @brittmb115 @ghostwritesthings @kulekehe @darkheartgatita @goldenhxurs @javiscigarette @morallyinept @tobesolovelysstuff @notsosecretspy @alokaerza @ro-nahime-things @gwendibleywrites @morgaussy @missladym1981 @pedrostories
As always, feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to my tag list, or removed (even if we're moots, no hard feelings). I'll still be using my tag list for now, but I just started a notifs blog, so will be transitioning to that eventually. Please follow @katiexpunkupdates to get notified when I post fics.xx
Happy New Year!
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elliesbelle · 6 months
Text
nobody compares to you
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chapter 13
pairing: ellie x reader
synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?
content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact
word count: 9k
chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen
series masterlist
my masterlist
i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎
the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist
songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):
the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”
the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”
palestine will be free
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“Where the fuck even are you?” 
“Not home.” 
“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.” 
“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.” 
“Stop procrastinating, asshole.” 
Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime. 
Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready. 
Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night. 
Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene. 
When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours. 
Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening. 
“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.” 
“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly. 
“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath. 
“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.” 
Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand. 
“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back. 
Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs. 
“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl. 
“Wassup, Chang.” 
“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.” 
“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.” 
“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.” 
“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.” 
“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese. 
Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets. 
“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina. 
Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time. 
Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject. 
“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!” 
Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise. 
“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—” 
“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury. 
“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina. 
“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway. 
“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes. 
“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen. 
Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent. 
“Is she breathing?” 
“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores. 
“What did she eat?” He asks Abby. 
“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table. 
Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation. 
“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions. 
The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face. 
“Did she have any?” He asks. 
While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina. 
“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?” 
“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.” 
“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?” 
“I don’t know.” 
“Do you think Anderson ordered any?” 
“El, how am I supposed to know that?” 
“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?” 
Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds. 
“I-I don’t know...” 
“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.” 
“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—” 
Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint. 
“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second. 
“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!” 
Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him. 
“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!” 
Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic. 
“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?” 
“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen. 
“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!” 
Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse. 
Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face. 
“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”
“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!” 
Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself. 
She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace. 
Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment. 
Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time. 
She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster. 
Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints. 
She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache. 
She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger. 
She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips. 
She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world. 
Maybe even still. 
Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.
While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed. 
She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room. 
Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears. 
“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side. 
“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend. 
They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder. 
“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles. 
“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.” 
She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing. 
“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.” 
Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this. 
“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.” 
“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity. 
“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.” 
“Oh, Ellie…” 
Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment. 
“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word. 
“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.” 
“Thank you, D, seriously.” 
Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment. 
“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement. 
Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable. 
“Come on. Let’s go see her.” 
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You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder. 
“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously. 
“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.” 
“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out. 
“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.” 
“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.” 
“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says. 
Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy. 
“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.” 
“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.” 
“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.” 
She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room. 
Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up. 
“Are you okay, El?” 
“What do you mean?” 
“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” 
“I’m fine, Jess.” 
“Dude.” 
“What?” 
Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning. 
“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.” 
“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly. 
“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.” 
Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues. 
“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.” 
Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists. 
“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?” 
“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—” 
“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.” 
“Look—” 
“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.” 
“You don’t understa—” 
“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.” 
“I… I—” 
“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.” 
“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes. 
“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.” 
Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall. 
“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.” 
Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room. 
“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.” 
“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.” 
“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.” 
“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly. 
Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face. 
“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks. 
“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified. 
“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects. 
“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons. 
“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.” 
“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says. 
“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—” 
“Ellie!” Dina scolds. 
“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs. 
“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?” 
“What about her?” Ellie asks. 
“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?” 
“So?” 
“Ellie.” 
Ellie clicks her tongue. 
“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room. 
Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod. 
Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones. 
“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.” 
Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word. 
Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson. 
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Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed. 
Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents. 
At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal. 
Barbie Bear. 
She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration. 
After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly. 
Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting. 
Dear Ellie, 
It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands. 
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I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know. 
Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork. 
Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day. 
Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name. 
She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago. 
Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more. 
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Earlier That Evening 
Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift. 
But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour. 
It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear. 
Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks. 
Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye. 
“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out. 
“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke. 
Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie. 
“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.” 
“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry. 
“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly. 
There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together. 
“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.” 
“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.” 
“Wait, what?” 
“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.” 
“Oh, right.” 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly. 
“What?” 
“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.” 
“Oh, uh…” 
“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.” 
“Oh. What did she say exactly?” 
“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.” 
“Oh.” 
“Yeah.” 
“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.” 
“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed. 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again. 
“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.” 
“Whatever.” 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“Well?” Daniela asked. 
“It’s kind of complicated.” 
“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.” 
“Look, Daniela—” 
“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.” 
“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.” 
“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.” 
“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.” 
“So you said.” 
Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud. 
Another awkward moment of silence. 
“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.” 
“Hey, what the fuck—” 
“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.” 
“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!” 
Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more. 
“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.” 
“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.” 
“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—” 
“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.” 
She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door. 
“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.” 
And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face. 
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Present 
Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat. 
She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you. 
First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months. 
Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification. 
The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz. 
As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.
Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night. 
A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath. 
Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else. 
After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela. 
Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision. 
Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at. 
To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.
Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend. 
Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along. 
But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you. 
Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience. 
Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word. 
Joel. 
She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call. 
Joel picks up after only two rings. 
“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?” 
“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles. 
“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent. 
“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.” 
Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed. 
“What’s wrong, Ellie?” 
“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…” 
With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks. 
“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.” 
“Yeah…” 
“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.” 
Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips. 
“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?” 
“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.” 
“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.” 
“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.” 
There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again. 
“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?” 
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Last August: Jackson 
Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule. 
Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway. 
“Knock, knock.” 
“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.” 
“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?” 
“You, dude.” 
The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts. 
“Need any help packin’ up?” 
“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.” 
“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?” 
“Like I said: essentials.” 
Joel chuckled. 
“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.” 
“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.” 
“Good.” 
Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned. 
“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?” 
“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up. 
“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.” 
“So you do go through my shit when I am here?” 
“Ellie.” 
“What?” 
“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?” 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.” 
Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms. 
“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.” 
“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.” 
“She ditched me.” 
“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.” 
“What do you want from me, old man?” 
“I want you to be happy, kiddo.” 
“What makes you think I’m not happy?” 
“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.” 
“We weren’t together.” 
“Yes, you were.” 
Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing. 
“You still have the box, Ellie.” 
“I just forgot I even had it.” 
“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?” 
“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.” 
“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.” 
“Sorry, dude.” 
“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.” 
Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this. 
“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.” 
Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green. 
“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”
Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly. 
“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.” 
“That so? How do you figure that?” 
“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.” 
“Oh, yeah? And what is that?” 
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Present Day 
“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.” 
“I know, baby girl.” 
Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line. 
“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?” 
“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs. 
“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?” 
“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.” 
“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.” 
“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.” 
“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.” 
“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!” 
“What don’t I understand?” 
“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams. 
A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing. 
“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…” 
Ellie chokes back a sob. 
“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—” 
“Ellie.” 
“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.” 
“It’s not that simple, kid.” 
“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.” 
The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead. 
“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.” 
Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now. 
“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.” 
Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking. 
“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.” 
Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak. 
“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.” 
“All I did was—” 
“All you did was save her life.” 
Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond. 
“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.” 
The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs. 
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author’s notes:
belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???
saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎
i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)
the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO
anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl
the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe
i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one
yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.
btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO
the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL
i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway
yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away
ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao
the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)
i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)
ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else
the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.
we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3
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rosiesrroses · 6 months
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Santa | mv1
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Summary: In which Y/n and Max try to make Christmas special for their children.
Paring: dad!max verstappen x mom!reader
Warning: Just fluff. This is kinda short and not proofread.
Finished: 23 Dec. 2023
Posted: 25 Dec. 2023
Word count: 769
note: Merry Christmas ❤ These photos are not mine, I got them from pinterest.
My love for u is ever lasting, it will last until eternity ends~
y/n verstappen’s pov - around 6.30 am
“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Wake up!” 
I internally groaned as I heard my two four-year-old boys, Jamie and Colin, shout and began jumping on Max and I’s bed.
“Boys, please. Can we please use our inside voices? It’s still too early to be screaming like this” I try to reason with them. 
“But it’s Christmas momma,” Jamie said with a frown on his face.
“Yes, and momma is also really excited. But we can’t go screaming like this and wake everyone up, okay?” I asked them.
“Okay,” they both said and looked down onto the bed. 
“Why don’t we go downstairs and make some hot chocolate?” I asked them and they both eagerly nodded before jumping off the bed and running out of the bedroom.
“Max. Maxie,” I whispered in Max's ear, trying to wake him up. 
But he just groaned, mumbling incoherent words before turning to his left side and going back to snoring.  
“Max, can you please wake up?” I asked a little louder so that he could hear me this time.
“What?” he asked as he turned on his back still with his eyes closed.
This man is not a morning person.
“It’s Christmas and the kids are already downstairs waiting,” I said as he finally sat up. 
“Oh, yeah. Merry Chrismas schatje.” he smiled and he gave me a quick peck on the lips.
“Eww” Max and I heard as we finished and turned to see Jamie and Colin.
“Momma, you promised us hot chocolate!” Colin whined. 
“I know, I know. Let’s go make us some hot chocolate, and then we can go open all of our presents.” I said as I picked Colin up and held Jamie’s hand as we left the room.
Instagram ~
yourusername
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♡ liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, and 527, 894 others
yourusername Merry Christmas from the Verstappen family ❤
comments on this post has been limited
yourbff Merry christmas ❤
➥ yourusername ❤
landonorris Merry christmas
➥ yourusername ❤
redbullracing Still coming to the christmas party? Everyone's invited.
➥ yourusername Can’t make any promises 🤫
max verstappen’s pov - a couple hours later
“Don’t they look cute just playing with their toys?” Y/n asked as she stood beside me with a cup of coffee in her hands.
The minute the twins finished their hot chocolate, they tore all the presents open and have been playing with their toys ever since. 
And I just hummed as a response to Y/n’s question, not knowing what else to say. 
“What’s wrong?” Y/n asked me, putting her cup down on the counter.
“What? Nothing. Just thinking about tonight's Christmas party,” I sighed.
“Oh me too. I can’t wait to see everyone again,” Y/n smiled at the thought.
“Yeah, I was kind of thinking the opposite,” I confessed.
“What? Why?” Y/n frowned. 
“I don’t know. I just want to spend today inside, with my family,” I shrugged. 
“Okay, let me tell you what. The twins are really excited to go, so let’s just go for a couple of hours and see if we enjoy it,” she tried to reason with me.
“Okay, anything for you schatje,” I smiled and kissed her forehead. 
She smiled back at me and walked to the living room where the kids are sat, still playing with their toys. 
“Really?!” the twins both simultaneously shouted as Y/n whispered something to them.
“Yeah, so let’s go get ready and then we can leave,” Y/n nodded in confirmation.
Instagram ~
yourusername
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♡ liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 605,225
tagged: maxverstappen1, redbullracing 
yourusername before and after said christmas party
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y/n vestappen’s pov - at the Christmas party
“Momma, why is Daddy dressed like Santa?” I heard Colin say as he tugged on my dress. 
Max was asked to dress like Santa for this year's Christmas party, and he was more than happy to.
But Max doesn’t have the best costume on, so the twins can definitely see that it is Max instead of Santa. 
“Well, that’s because Santa couldn’t make it. Santa’s wife is sick and she needs someone to care for her so Santa asked Daddy to be in his place tonight,” I lie.
“Oh, so Daddy thinks we think he’s Santa?” Jamie asked. Jamie has always been smart. 
“Yeah, so why don’t you two go say hi to “Santa”?” I wink at them. 
“Okay, momma,” Colin said and kissed my cheek before they left. 
“So, are you gonna tell Max that they know?” One of my friends asked me as I stood up from my crouching position. 
“Never,"
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allywthsr · 6 months
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FIRST CHRISTMAS | (l.norris)
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summary: louis‘ first Christmas
wordcount: 1k words
pairing: dad!landonorris x fem!reader
warnings: kids
notes: I’m so sorry for not posting, I‘m currently in Berlin and hadn’t had the time to write or post, sorry🫶🏼
advent calendar
There are some things you‘ll never forget, with your firstborn, first tooth, first smile, first step, and definitely not the first Christmas. When Louis was born, it was the twelfth of December, so technically he already had his first Christmas, but all he did was sleep, eat, and poop to that time. He couldn’t open presents or take in the Christmas mood, but this year was different, with joy and shrieks he opened his car advent calendar every morning, the reindeer decoration was his favorite thing to play with at the moment, and when Lando and you put up the Christmas tree, he couldn’t stop but point at the green tree and ask his daddy to pick him up, touching the greens carefully.
Obviously with him only being one year old, he still couldn’t communicate much, he saw the lights and the tree but didn’t really understand it was time for Christmas. So next year was going to be even better, you read him stories about Santa, but next year he will fully understand that.
Lando was probably more excited than Louis was, constantly talking to Louis about Christmas, showing him the tree, or reading him Santa stories. When the first snow came, Lando was running outside with Louis on his arm, showing him the white powder. Baking cookies with Louis was fun too, his constant ‘dadadadadada‘, while he was pressing on top of your hand that was cutting the cookie, made Lando’s heart swell. Going to a mall, where a Santa was waiting, Louis was scared of the old man in red and the white beard, but on Lando‘s arm next to him, he was willing to take a picture, always needing his daddy close.
Christmas morning was nearing, and Lando was obsessing with getting way too many presents for Louis, the range went from cars to stuffed animals and Lego Duplos. You knew Louis would spend hours opening every single one, you tried to convince Lando to calm down, and not overwhelm him with presents, especially since he‘s young and still needs to understand Christmas. And that Christmas is not all about presents, but also about spending time with family and whatnot, yet, to your dismay, it was no use, he kept on buying small things here and there, getting the big presents a month before, so they wouldn’t be sold out.
When Christmas morning finally arrived, Louis woke up before the sun rose, he felt that something was different from the other days. Squealing around, until he laid between you and Lando in your bed, with a stuffed bunny in his hand, you cuddled him until knocks on your door were heard, and Savannah put her head through it, checking if you were awake because Mila and Athena were awake and ready to see the presents Santa brought.
Lando quickly changed Louis's nappy, after a while he got used to it, not gagging every time he had to do it, and then the three of you made your way downstairs, where the rest of the family was waiting in front of a closed door.
Mila was jumping up and down, while Athena and Louis were in their dad's arms, smiling and making happy sounds. Flo was tickling Louis‘ tummy, which made him laugh even harder, he was gurgling and squealing, and his brown curls, which he got from his dad, were slightly bouncing up and down, moving with every laugh.
Cisca was opening the living room door and everyone let out a gasp, amazed by the lights and presents, the tree was lit and it almost seemed like it had a magic glow around it. Mila ran to the presents and Louis was not happy to be in his dad's arms, he was kicking Lando slightly and Lando understood what he wanted, Louis wasn’t that comfortable with walking yet, so he got carried to the tree and sat down next to his pile of presents. You figured it was easier if each kid had a little pile, that way the wrong presents wouldn’t be opened and no tears would be spilled. In the end, the kids won’t even notice they don’t have to search for the colorful wrapped boxes.
The adults sat on the couch, watching the three small children ripping the carefully wrapped presents, laughing at the antics.
Lando sat next to Louis, helping him with opening the presents, Louis didn’t know what to do at first, clearly stunned to move when he saw all the presents, but after Lando started to unwrap the first present, Louis was tearing the wrapping paper off. At first, it was little pieces of wrapping paper, which he happily showed Lando, every time he held something in his hands, Lando was chuckling at his son, Louis reminded him of himself, when he was a small child, obsessing over things, no one else obsessed about.
When the first present was unpacked, Louis's eyes widened, and he lifted the box of the tow truck in the air, wanting to show everyone his new truck, next, he opened a smaller present, it was a new stuffie. Louis loved stuffed animals, the emphasis on loved, he couldn’t get enough of them, always holding one close to his chest. Now he got a reindeer, you already knew this was going to be his favorite stuffie for a while, the way he was squeezing and cuddling it. Everyone was cooing at the image in front of you, in one hand, Louis was holding his reindeer and with the other, he tried to open the next present, but that wasn’t really working with one hand only, when Lando tried to take his reindeer away, just so he could open the presents faster, Louis almost cried, eyes were already wet before Lando quickly gave it back to him, now he was helping Louis with the unwrapping.
Pulling on the paper and letting Louis do the rest, his eyes lit up every time, and the way he had to show you everything he got, was adorable. His new car set? He got up and waddled to you, pointing at it, babbling and squealing.
When every present was unpacked and every new toy was played with for a few minutes it was time to eat breakfast, but before you could sit Louis in his high chair, he fell asleep, cuddling on Lando’s arm.
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boldlyvoid · 6 months
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Neighbourhood Beauty
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Spencer Reid x Fem Reader
Summary: Penelope is hosting Christmas at her apartment this year, she invites everyone... Including her new neighbour, who is exactly Spencer's type.
Warnings: flirting, love at first sight, kissing, making out, teasing, drunk bau friends, food mentions, Baker!Reader
Word Count: 2.2k
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She was sad the whole journey home from work knowing that Christmas was tomorrow and she was going to be alone. As she gets into her apartment complex, she runs into her neighbour at the mailbox. She’s got 3 packages in her hands while trying to figure out how to carry the last two, “do you want help?” 
“Oh, please?” She sounds so relieved. “What a blessing it is to see you today.” 
She smiles for the first time in a few hours, “Oh, anytime Penelope. Are these all gifts?” She asks as she takes the two packages in her hands. She’ll come down for her own mail later. Nothing interesting should be in there. 
Penelope nods, leading them towards the elevators. “I’m having a big holiday gathering tomorrow— wait, do you have plans, are you going home to see family?” 
“No,” she admits, sadly. “I couldn’t get a plane ticket, I tried but they’re so insanely expensive lately.” 
“Yeah, I know,” Penny sighs. “I haven’t gone out to see my brothers in years, they’re in California.” 
“It sucks… but you have lots of friends here, right? I’m sure they’re coming over tomorrow?” She asks, mostly so she can feel some sort of comfort if she isn’t doing anything tomorrow either. 
“I’m having Christmas here for the first time,” she shares. “Dinner starts at 6:30 but we’re having a little bit of everything for lunch around 2, if you want to stop by at any time?” 
“Oh no, I couldn’t—
“You can, and you will!” Penelope insists. “You don’t need to worry about gifts or bringing any food, just show up. I hate the thought of you being alone next door.” 
“Okay, I’ll come,” she gives in with a smile. “But I’m bringing a baked good… have you ever been to my bakery?” 
“You own the bakery?” She’s so flabbergasted. “I thought you just worked there?” 
She smiles, “I do… we do okay but I’m by no means rich enough to buy a plane ticket home.” 
“Well, maybe that’s a good thing cause now I can eat whatever you bring tomorrow!” 
She spends the whole night baking. She makes molasses cookies with powdered sugar on them in shakes of little Christmas trees and she makes chocolate croissants. One of which she brings to Penelope around 10 am so that she can have a nice breakfast before the party starts. 
She showers, picks a cute outfit and by 3pm she’s anxiously waiting by the door trying to hype herself up to go over. She only knows Penelope. They’ve lived beside each other for 3 years now. She’s seen her friends coming and going and heard them talking in the halls but she’s never talked to them. But if they like Penelope, they’ve gotta like her too. 
So she bucks up and heads over. 
She knocks and within seconds, a handsome man is throwing the door open. “You don’t have to— oh, hi?” 
“Hi… Penelope invited me? I’m her neighbour… Y/N,” she awkwardly introduces herself. 
He’s at a loss for words— and breath, for a moment and then shakes himself out of it. “Spencer… Reid. Doctor… Doctor Spencer Reid.” 
It makes her laugh, easing the anxiety out of her system. “Can I come in, Doctor Spencer Reid?” 
“Yeah, yes, come in,” he steps out of the way and extends his arm into the room for her to follow. He closes the door after she’s inside and smiles. “How do you know Penelope?” 
“I live next door.” 
“Really?” He can’t believe it. “How long?” 
“3 years now…” 
“And you’ve never come over?” He looks offended. 
She smiles, “Why, sad you haven’t known me longer?” She manages to tease him. She’s not always good at reading people but something about how he’s acting makes her think he likes her. 
He blushes but nods, “Well, welcome. It’s nice to finally meet you.” 
“You too,” she looks him up and down. He’s very handsome. And a doctor… “how do you know Penelope?” 
“We’ve worked together since I was 22…” 
“And you’re now…?”
“42,” he presses his lips together, awkwardly. “Old…” 
“No, no you’re not, I would’ve guessed 35 at the most,” she teases, stepping into his space, she places her hand on his arm. “You’re a very handsome 42.” 
“Are you doing anything for New Years?” He asks, removing all his fear and looking at her with hopeful eyes. 
She shakes her head, “no… I might be working but I can leave early, or you can come see me there?” 
“Where do you work?” 
“I own the bakery on 16th Avenue,” she smiles. “Penelope buys in donuts and things from me all the time, actually, I brought over baked goods this morning, they’re in the kitchen somewhere.” 
“Did you make those croissants?” He lights right up. 
She nods, “maybe I can teach you how to make some?” 
“I’d really like th—
“Y/N!” Penelope comes running from the kitchen and wraps her arms around her, “When did you get here?” 
“Just now,” she laughs. “Spencer’s been keeping me company.” 
“Ahh,” she pulls away with a smile. “Well, come eat, there’s lots of snacks in here.” 
She leads them into the kitchen where her other friends are around the table. “The ones with kids will be around later, they’re still putting batteries and things in their kid's gifts. But this is Rossi and Emily and Tara.” 
She reaches out to shake everyone's hand, realizing only now that she never shook Spencer's, but he doesn’t mind, he stays close to her. They sit side by side, he passes her things from the table that she wants to put on her plate and he gets up to get her a drink and everyone makes conversation while also watching him dote on her. It’s been 20 minutes but there’s something there… no man has shown her this level of interest or flattery before and not to quote Lana Del Rey but, when you know you know. 
They’re friendly as ever when there are people around them and they flirt like mad when they’re alone. She already has a date with him, but he’s just too cute and that shade of red he turns is starting to become her favourite colour. 
“You seriously used all the ice?” Penelope chastises Emily, who pretends she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. “Go get some more, we have guests coming who don’t drink alcohol they need ice for their sodas!” 
“I am far too drunk to walk down the street,” she counters and points to Dave. 
“Not me,” Dave touches his nose, he doesn’t volunteer to do anything and Tara does the same thing, she’s just as drunk as Emily. 
Spencer goes to get his coat with a sigh, “I’ve got it.” 
“I’ll come too,” she rushes to the door with him, putting on whatever coat fits her so that she can follow him down to the street for some extra alone time with him. 
She reaches for his hand on the street, “So, what’s it like at the FBI?” 
He holds her hand gladly, “it's… okay. I just teach now. Fieldwork put me in the hospital too many times and I like being alive.” 
“I’m glad you’re still here,” she bumps shoulders with him.
His smile is beautiful. “So, about that date?” 
“We could do anything you want,” she assures. “But my offer still stands.” 
“I think I’d like a baking lesson,” he nudges her back. “It's the one thing I’m not good at.” 
“So what are you good at?” 
“Rambling, falling over, getting shot,” he teases but she swats his arm, leaning into him with a laugh. “Okay, but seriously, I have a Ph.D. in Chemistry, Engineering and Math.” 
“Well luckily for you, baking is just science and a bit of math,” she teases. “You’ll catch on quickly, smarty pants.” 
He pulls her in, chest to chest, standing beside an empty store with all their lights off. He cups her face, “what’s sweeter? Your chocolate croissants or your kiss?” 
She can’t help but laugh, “you’ll have to tell me…” 
He pulls her in for a kiss and sparks fly behind her eyes. As if every atom in her being is on fire, she melts into him. Kissing him deeply, she holds his sides and the hand he has on her cheek goes into her hair as they begin to make out on the snow-covered street. 
She pulls back first, smiling softly, “so?” 
“You, it’s definitely you,” he teases. “But the croissants are a very close second.” 
She laughs, “Well, keep up the compliments and there will be lots more kisses and sweet treats coming your way.” 
“You’re the most beautiful woman in the neighbourhood,” he teases, leaning in for another kiss but she stops him. 
“Just the neighbourhood?” 
“The whole world,” he corrects, which is the right answer. She lets him lean in closer, stealing another kiss. 
She kisses him again and again, trying to pull back but he kisses her a third time, making her laugh. “We need to get that ice, we’re going to be late for dinner.” 
“do you want to hang out after dinner?” He asks, “I can walk you home?” 
“And stay for more kisses?” 
“Or croissants,” he shrugs. Happy with either. 
They’re pretty normal for the rest of the party, she meets the rest of his friends and all their kids. And they’re some cute kids. The youngest is his friend Matt's 2-year-old, she sits at the grown-up table with them and eats one of the chocolate croissants with the biggest smile on her face. Y/N can’t help but think about how much her own kids might like her baking one day… and Spencer sees the way she looks at the baby too. 
His friends are so lively, the the party goes on until well after midnight. The friends with kids head out early, Emily and Tara get a cab home, Dave is passed out on her couch and Spencer isn’t going to leave until she does. And she’s helping Penelope clean up. 
“You don’t have to stay,” Penelope assures her, drying off dishes while Spencer washes them. She’s been putting things in Tupperware containers and organizing the fridge. 
“I want to help, as a thank you,” she smiles at her. “This has been a lovely night.” 
“And not just because I introduced you to your new boyfriend?” She teases and Spencer drops a plate. 
She laughs, walking over to place her hand on Spencers arm, “I mean, meeting Spencer is the best present you could’ve given me.” 
Penelope swoons, “Okay that’s it, love birds. Get out of my kitchen, go home, go canoodle and get to know each other. I knew this was going to happen.” 
“Why didn’t you tell me in advance?” Spencer whines as he dries off his hands. “I would’ve worn something nicer?” 
“You look cute,” she teases. 
“See, that’s why,” Penelope points at her. “I knew she’d like you for you, she’s a baker and you love everything I buy from her bakery and she’s so kind and you need someone to love you the way I know you love people back. This is perfect.” 
She wraps her arm around his waist and leans into his space, “thank you penny, we’re going to go now.” 
“Thank you,” Spencer agrees, following her out of the kitchen and towards the door. 
Once they’re in the hallway, he asks, “Did you really mean that?” 
She nods, “of course?” 
He lunges for her, kissing her with her back pressed up against her apartment door. She reaches for the doorknob, twisting it open so that she can bring them inside and push him up against the closed door instead this time. He moans into her mouth at the feeling of his back colliding with the door and her hands are immediately roaming his shirt.
He’s such a good kisser, he is gentle and soft, and he isn’t overly eager and controlling. He lets her explore and slow it down as she presses in closer to him and his hands wander to her hips. 
“Couch?” She pants against his lips, wanting to lay down with him. 
“Show me?” He agrees, following her into her apartment and to the living space. 
She pushes him down against the couch and climbs on top of him. He wraps his arms around her, cradling her body like she’s the most delicate thing in the world. He kisses her just as soft and she moves her kiss to his cheek and his jaw up towards his ear, “you’re so handsome,” she whispers. 
“Thank you,” he gasps. “You’re absolutely stunning, I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 
She smirks against him, kissing down his neck, “You deserve good things, Spence.” 
“You’re too good to me,” he teases, hand slipping down to her ass. “How far are we taking this?” 
She hums, “I’m good just talking and kissing all night?” 
“All night?” 
She nods as she pulls back to look at him. “I kinda don’t want to let you go. I’m afraid you’re too good to be real.” 
“I’m not going anywhere,” he assures. “I’m yours as long as you want me.” 
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General Taglist 
@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22
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makeyoumine69 · 5 months
Text
My Dear Little Girl
PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Fem!Reader
SUMMARY: The Christmas gift you never imagined.
CONTAINS: Smut, fluff, unprotected sex (p in v), creampie, oral sex (f), tongue fucking, nipple play/sucking, body worship, praise kink, manhandling, dirty talk, pet names, marking, biting, established relationships, Service!Dom!Patrick Bateman himself.
WORDS: 3.3k
SONG REC: The Neighbourhood - Softcore
A/N: Merry Christmas guys, I'm so happy to have you all! 💞
LINKS: [MASTERLIST]
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There has always been something magical about Christmas, the holiday atmosphere, the sweet smell of tangerines and the clinking of champagne glasses. Yes, all of this became a standard set of things that people thought of when it came to Christmas. And you were probably one of those who believed in miracles that could happen during this magical time. At least you tried to believe it, but when Bateman told you that he had to go to his company Christmas party tonight, that actually brought you back down to Earth, because sometimes our expectations simply didn't match up with reality. And that was absolutely fine — those were the exact words you told Patrick when he called you a few hours ago, before he actually went to that party. 
Everything was fine.
You repeated this over and over again as you walked around your apartment in Manhattan, which was not as spacious as Bateman's, but you really loved it, especially now, with the beautiful Christmas tree that shone brightly with different illuminations when you turned off the lights. Since you knew Patrick wasn't coming, there was no point in waiting to open the bottle of the finest red wine he'd given you especially for this Christmas Eve. Sighing, you poured yourself a big glass of the red liquid, took some sweets and went back to your living room, where you stood at the wide window and looked at the breathtaking scenery of New York City in winter — this year it was quite snowy, which could not make you happy, even though you were going to spend this evening alone.
As the fireworks began to paint the midnight sky in ornaments of different shapes and colors, you couldn't take your eyes off this sight, as you were absolutely mesmerized. At first, you didn't even hear the doorbell ring, and only when it rang for the tenth time in a row did you realize that someone was at your front door, which actually scared you a bit because it was already quite late.
Your steady footsteps echoed off the walls of your hallway as you finally reached the door and looked through the peephole - the person you saw almost made you drop your glass to the floor. Damn, you should have left it in the living room.
Before you slowly opened the door, you coughed several times to clear your throat, and you also quickly fixed your hair — although your whole appearance could hardly be called fancy or party-like, as you wore your casual top and shorts set — the moment you and Bateman saw each other, you both remained silent, as if you were seeing each other for the first time.
"Well, hello (y/n)," he was the first to speak, with his absolutely haughty smile that always left you no choice but to be embarrassed. "I thought you were out walking somewhere."
"At this time?"
Patrick grinned even wider before glancing to the right, where a small commotion could be heard. "Some people here are already celebrating, you know."
Rolling your eyes, you stepped aside to let him enter. "What happened to the Christmas party?"
Your question made the man chuckle as he brushed some snow from his shoulders before taking off his beautiful dark blue coat. "Actually — nothing."
"Nothing?"
"That's exactly what I said." Patrick crooned and came closer to you, pressing his cold palm against your cheek, making you squirm and almost spilling wine on your shirt. "Uhh, you have such warm cheeks, honey."
"Okay, I'll ask it another way," you managed to regain your composure, even though Bateman seemed to be doing his best to make you lose your cool. "Why are you here?"
Pulling his hand away from your face, Bateman narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms after checking the time on his Rolex. "Were you expecting someone else?" 
And now his voice sounded as grumpy as if he was seriously asking that question, but instead of defending yourself, you just chuckled and took a sip of your drink.
"Oh yes, I was expecting a handsome man so we could drink this wonderful wine and... talk about music, the meaning of life and whether or not true love exists." You chirped quickly before taking his hand and dragging him into your living room before this conversation could lose its jokey undertone.
"That was," Bateman stammered when he finally realized what drink you were holding. "That was very smart. Have you ever thought of applying to a Broadway theater? I think they would love to offer you a job." His statement made you stop and turn to give him a deadly stare. "What? If you don't like theater, you can always try your luck in the circus."
"Patrick!" You scolded, fighting the urge to throw your drink right in his cheeky face. "You were the one who told me I would be alone today! And you didn't even suggest that I go with you!"
Having said that, you continued on your way to the living room, but without holding Patrick's hand as you left the man behind, though his expression was still as bright as the New York sky inscribed with fireworks. "Wait a minute, honey," Bateman muttered, following you. "You made it pretty clear that you don't want to go to parties like that, didn't you?"
"No, I didn't," you lied, bursting into a soft laugh, swirling the glass in your hand. "Oh, this wine tastes amazing, by the way. Would you like to try some?"
The sudden change of subject just made him smile cheekily, and before he could answer, Bateman tucked his hands into the pockets of his Amrani pants and leaned against the door to your living room. "I know this wine is good, that's why I gave it to you, sweetheart," his brilliant, full-toothed smile made your heartbeat faster and for a moment you even forgot what you were doing. "But yes, I would definitely have a drink."
"Whatever you say, Mr. Grinch." You mumbled playfully and went to the kitchen.
Fireworks began to explode just as you opened the shelf to grab a glass for him, thanking God you managed to hold it in your hand. The loud sound coming from the outside drowned out the approaching footsteps behind you, so when a pair of strong, big arms wrapped around your waist, you didn't even have time to get scared, you just gasped and fell right into Patrick's tight embrace.
"I got you," he whispered in your ear, sucking on your lobe tenderly, but with an undisguised desire for something more intimate. "You little liar." Bateman pulled you closer with a possessive grip as his hand carefully found its way to yours to take the glass and place it on the smooth surface of the kitchen counter. "We don't want any trouble, do we?"
Panting, you turned halfway to look up into his brown, mesmerizing eyes. "Patrick," you let him nuzzle your cheek, his perfect nose brushing against yours, and then Bateman kissed you softly on your plump lips. "Mmhm, I'm so glad you came, I've missed you and —"
"Shhh," he silenced you with his thumb, his glowing gaze never leaving your beautiful face. "I know, darling," another sensual kiss was planted on your neck this time, eliciting a muffled moan from your half-open mouth. "You don't have to say anything else, just relax..." Patrick nipped at your throat more eagerly, leaving marks here and there, while his hands drew invisible ornaments all along your inviting little form. "...and let me take care of you."
Dear Lord, it was impossible to think clearly, not when he was talking to you like that and his hot lips were caressing that exact spot behind your ear, driving you absolutely crazy and you didn't even notice the way your hips were grinding against his hard groin, spurring him on to go even further. Groaning softly into your ear, Bateman couldn't wait any longer, his pants getting too tight with every brush of your ass against his throbbing length. 
"Fuck, babe, you're so gorgeous," he purred in a low voice, leaving a trail of wet kisses along your shoulder, then moving lower to your shoulder blade, pulling up your top to taste your skin. "Do you know what I was thinking about during the party?" Bateman asked suddenly, tugging at the lace of your shorts, tantalizing you with his intentions. 
"N-no, tell me," you closed your eyes from the intoxicating pleasure of his thin fingers darting across your belly, but when they finally reached your heated core, you couldn't keep a loud whimper from breaking out of your dry lips. "Please, a-ahhh, tell me everything."
"Uh, look at you," he quickly licked the back of your neck before grabbing a handful of your soaked pussy. "Such a curious little kitty," Patrick huffed, suddenly pulling down your shorts with your wet panties, leaving you no chance to even react, not to mention struggling. "I was thinking about you," Bateman carefully lifted one of your legs to rest it on the kitchen counter, then crouched down behind you, leaving a sloppy kiss on your lower back. "About fucking you senseless, to be exact."
"Oh my God," you mewled, clinging to the surface of the counter as you felt his hot breath between your legs. "I was... I was thinking about that too."
Smirking to himself, Bateman gave your ass a few firm squeezes before finally touching you where you wanted him most, his warm tongue feeling so fucking amazing on your swollen clit. "Oh, that's interesting," he cooed to you, enjoying the way your body reacted to his every move, it was always amusing and turned him on, the knowledge of having such power over you was enough to make him rock hard. "Looks like you're just pretending to be shy. Now spread these beautiful legs wider for me," as you did so he used both hands to massage your buttocks before sliding his digits along your tight lower lips to get better access to your wet entrance. "Good girl, so fucking good for me."
With that, he plunged his tongue into your tight hole, trapping you in place as you jerked in his grasp from the intense sensation in your lower abdomen, but that was only the beginning as the next moment, Bateman returned his assault on your little bud, rubbing it in intense circular motions.
"A-awwww, Patrick," your sweet voice was music to his ears, especially when he made you do those high-pitched wails, each time his tongue sank deeper into your soft, inner channel. "Please...that feels so..."
"Good?" he chuckled before peppering your dripping slit with little kisses. "Jesus, you're so yummy, mmmh," Patrick lapped at your pussy like a starved man, gripping your ass tightly to remind you who was in charge here. "I'd like to stay between these legs forever if I could." 
By the time he was done eating you out, you could barely breathe as you balanced on the edge of falling into the oblivion of pure ecstasy, his chiseled face covered in your sweet flavor, which he immediately cleaned up with his tongue.
"Patrick, it felt so damn amazing..." you whimpered and turned around to see him undoing his expensive suit, his red tie already loosened, making him look even sexier, if it was possible to be hotter than he was. "Please."
With a sassy grin, Bateman unbuttoned his blue shirt, revealing an absolutely mouth-watering view of his sculpted chest and perfect abs. "Please what, honey?" He cupped your face before pulling you into a ravenous kiss, his tongue swirling shamelessly around yours, making you moan at how heavenly he kissed you. "Use your words, make me proud of how bold you are."
A brisk unzipping sound hit you like a whip, giving you a strange feeling of liberation and excitement. "I want you, all of you. Whatever you will give me, I'll take gladly."
You could see his nostrils flaring with each word, as if you were a moth to a flame. Biting his lower lip, the man came closer just to pick you up as if you weighed nothing, and he walked into your bedroom, where the beautiful garlands on the window shone with all the colors of the rainbow, making the whole atmosphere truly magical, especially with the lights off.
Bateman didn't like it at first, but when he saw your childishly happy face, he gently placed you on the bed, towering over you like a mountain. "Lovely here."
"You like it?" Your question forced him to frown in irritation, but he just pecked your temple and shamelessly removed your top, leaving you completely bare before his hungry eyes. "I spent a lot of time decorating it."
Smiling ironically, Patrick placed a reassuring kiss on your temple before he removed the last of his clothes and you finally felt his soft skin against yours, you couldn't help but hook your hands and legs around him like a vine. "I like it." Of course, he didn't, you knew that, but it didn't matter because now you two belonged to each other, both physically and mentally. "C'mere, babygirl," Bateman suddenly sat down on the bed and invited you to get on top of him. "Today we're going to try something new. Do you trust me?"
Breathing heavily, you nodded, and the next thing you knew his thick cock was sliding along your wet folds as he held you tightly by your waist, manhandling you with such ease as if you were a feather. With a longing growl, the man pressed you closer to his strong body so he could graze your collarbone and play with your engorged nipples as he literally buried his face between your breasts, squeezing them with both hands.
"Mhhm, Patty!" You moaned as he sucked on two of your little peaks at once, his leaky tip already prodding at your dripping opening as Patrick decided to test the patience of both of you. "Please, oh-please, fuck me, please, fuck...fuck me!" 
Bateman snickered against your neck, sending little tickles that made you smile, and he couldn't stop himself from squeezing your cheeks as you looked so fucking cute and sinful right now. "Uh, I'll give you more than that."
After that, he carefully grabbed you by the back of your neck and slowly lowered you down onto his beefy dick, the second your bodies finally connected, you both let out loud moans and held each other tighter as if your lives depended on it.
"Mmhm-fuck," the man had to close his eyes from the way your pussy was clinging to his huge cock, encompassing it so tightly that you both saw stars as Patrick supported your bobbing movements, holding your hips in his big palms and rocking his own towards yours. "You feel...f-fucking amazing!"
"I love you, I love you, Patty!" you cried out desperately, looping your hands around his neck to pull him closer as your bodies intertwined like snakes, each move bringing so much pleasure as he could fuck you so deeply and lustfully in this position. "Please, c-cum inside me!"
Your words made his eyes open wide and then you heard a low, guttural growl as Bateman suddenly pushed you down, forcing you to lie on your back and lift your legs to press them against his broad chest as he began to pound harder, rolling his hips to stimulate your G-spot.
"Is that what my dear girl wants, huh?" The man asked, mesmerized by the sight of your bouncing breasts, the lewd sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling your bedroom, making you scream shamelessly in pure bliss as his swollen tip brushed relentlessly against your cervix, stimulating you in a way that could bring you to climax without even touching your clit. "'C'mon honey, milk my dick and I'll give you my cum." In addition to his dirty talk, Patrick pecked your ankle as gently as he could — on the verge of a frenzy, he could just ravish you until you couldn't move, but right now he was trying his best to focus on your release. "Do it for me, sweetheart, cum around my dick like a good girl!"
Creasing the sheets, you threw your head back onto the pillows from the pulsating sensation in your lower body. "Pat-Patty! A-aaahhh—" You choked on your own moan, writhing erratically around the bed, and only his strong arms managed to hold you in place as Bateman was aware that you were about to fall off the fucking bed.
"That's it, mhm," Patrick watched you attentively, relishing the way your eyebrows knit together from how hard you cum on his fat dick, your eyes closed and your lips frozen in a silent moan. "So fucking gorgeous, so fucking...mm-so fucking tight, fuck!"
Bateman shifted his position again, covering you from above, transferring his weight to his sturdy arms as he rammed into you like a jackhammer, you could feel his heavy balls slapping against your cunt in the obscenest way possible. And then the man finally collapsed inside you, painting your velvety walls white, pinning you down with his huge frame and biting your shoulder like an animal claiming its prey. You couldn't move and you were barely breathing, but you took him completely, until his hot liquid began to flow from your ruined pussy, flooding the sheets beneath you. Spent and exhausted, Patrick kissed and licked the mark he had just left before pressing his forehead against yours, holding you tightly in his arms and you knew he would never let you go as you were born to be his.
Moments later, you were standing next to the Christmas tree in your living room, Bateman sitting on the small couch, finally having his drink, but not wine as he managed to find some whiskey in your minibar. 
"Next time, let's put a Christmas tree in your apartment!" You suddenly blurted out, clapping your hands.
"No, don't even think about it, kitten," Patrick almost choked on his drink and coughed several times. "Oh, honey, don't make that face."
Damn, although you knew that Bateman didn't like all that stuff, it made you sad anyway, so the man had no choice but to comfort you here and now, before the situation got worse.
After putting the glass on the nearby coffee table, he stood up and approached you from behind, hugging you, but you were still pouting. "Listen," he whispered into your ear. "I have something for you, something special that will make you forget everything."
"What is it?" 
Thrilled, Patrick slipped into the pocket of his robe, which he had brought especially to your place because he couldn't stand any other robes but his own, and took out a small, velvety box. "And what do you think it is?"
As soon as you turned around and saw this little box, something in your mind flashed like fireworks. "Oh my God, Patrick..." you covered your face in your hands from shock. "Is that..."
Bateman opened the box in one swift motion, revealing a magnificent ring that shone brightly, reflecting the illumination of the Christmas tree. "I want us to meet next Christmas in a different status," he murmured, taking the ring in his hand. "You know what I mean?" Tears welled in your eyes as you couldn't believe this was happening. "Will you be my wife, (y/n)?"
At first, you couldn't say anything because you were shocked, but then you managed to whisper. "Yes, yes, of course I will," and then you snuggled into his warm embrace, allowing him to put the ring on your finger and kiss your forehead, and this kiss was different because now you were his fiancée. "I love you, I love you so much!"
With a bright grin on his flawless face, Patrick rested his chin on the top of your head and stroked your hair. "Merry Christmas, my dear little girl. I love you too."
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P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!
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luveline · 5 months
Note
Hi Jade! I think the KBD universe has to be my favourite thing of yours that you've written, I constantly go back to reread all of them all the time! I'm not sure if you're still taking Christmas requests or if you've moved on and are ready for the New Year, but I was wondering if you could please write about maybe what the girls got for Christmas or how they celebrated the holiday? (this is for if you're still in the Christmas spirit) Or maybe how they are planning to spend New Year's Eve, or day? (this is for if you're ready for the New Year) <3 xxx
kbd —the harringtons chill out before new year's ♡ mom!reader, 1.2k
“Do you think we have enough hot dogs for New Year's?” you ask, eyeing the top shelf of the fridge. 
Steve steps in behind you casually, his entire front pressed to your back. An excuse to wrap you up into a hug, he folds his arms over your stomach and drops his nose into your shoulder. “What?” he asks, kissing the sliver of shoulder exposed by your t-shirts drooping neckline. 
“Hot dogs. Dove will eat four herself, and that's only one each for the rest of us.” 
“Beth won't eat one, and neither will you, probably. So that's two for me and two for Avery. Think we need more?” he asks. 
Probably not, but what if Avery decides she wants a third? Avery doesn't have tantrums, she just retreats into herself and cries, which is worse. “I'll put it on the list,” Steve says, likely having had the same thought. 
“You're making chilli?” 
“For my Beth,” he says, “uh-huh.” 
“And I'm making butterfly cupcakes. And Robin's still coming? Wait, what if Robin wants a hot dog?” 
“I'll get another jar,” he says, hugging you sweetly. “Okay?” 
You turn your face toward him and let him kiss the place under your chin. He's more passionate than you're expecting, which is to say, his hand feels at your stomach and his other rises to just beneath your chest, and he noses at you until your lips are on his.
He turns you slowly into his grasp, chest to chest, and kisses you more. 
Steve pulls away to look over your face proudly. “You're so pretty.” 
“Thanks, H,” you say. You sew your arms behind his neck for another hug. He squeezes you close and the force of it has him doing that strange sweet thing where he shifts from one foot to the other, dancing you on the spot. “You're pretty too.” 
“Not like you.” He sounds like he's smiling. “You're beautiful.” 
For once, the planets align, the universe knows how much you need it, and you get to hug your husband for as long as you like. The fridge is cold on your back but he rubs it warm, and the sound of the girls playing in the living room only serves to make your hugging nicer. 
“Love you,” you mumble into his shoulder. 
“I love you,” he says. He backs away to take your face into both of his hands. “I'm really proud of you. You really knocked it out of the park this year.” 
You shake your head, befuddled. “What? Steve, you barely needed my help, you did half the presents on your own, you did all of the grocery shopping, you barely let me cook.” 
“You just had a baby.” 
“Kind of,” you say. 
“So yeah, I'm proud of you. And you worked hard to make sure we had the money for the presents, for the groceries, for all of it.” 
“We work hard,” you say bashfully. 
“Listen to me,” he says, in his gentlest of tones, the kind he uses when you're sick, his thumbs pushing back the fat of your cheeks slowly, “listen. What you did this year? How hard you've worked, after months of being probably the most pregnant you've ever been,” —you laugh and jostle both yourself and him— “and then just running straight back into it? You think I didn't notice all that?” 
“Of course not, you told me enough,” you say quietly. 
He smiles and kisses you under the chin with a loud smack of his lips. “Love you so much. Thank you for another perfect Christmas.” 
You force him into a second tight hug so he can't see your glassy eyes. It's really, really nice to be loved by him. He always acknowledges you. He's always been this good to you, before and after the babies. 
Speaking of. A patter of feet race through the living room to the kitchen. You and Steve turn to see them at the same time, Dove and Bethie hand in hand with a Barbie dangling by the foot in Dove's small fist. “Daddy,” she says, “mommy, hello.” 
“Hello, trouble,” Steve says. 
“What do you want?” you ask suspiciously. 
Bethie looks at her sister then back to you both, caught. “How did you know that we wanted something?” 
“You look like you do,” you say. You bend down with a smile and beckon her forward, wiping at a chocolate smudge on her cheek. “Have you been eating chocolate coins again, lovely girl?” 
“Some,” she says, grinning. “Dove–” Beth drops her sister’s hand. “I want to have dinner again. And Dove says, um, that she wants some too.” 
“You're hungry?” Steve asks, bending down beside you. 
“Yes.” She smiles with teeth, an awkward show of teeth. She's very pretty, but she hasn't mastered smiling on purpose. Doesn't matter. Steve would make her a five course dinner in the middle of the night if she asked. 
“What do you want, honey?” he asks excitedly. Bethie is a bad eater, so her being hungry is always a good thing. 
More footsteps. You hold the door open for Avery as she trots in, already smiling in her new robe as she walks straight into your pyjama-clad thighs. “Mom, guess what?” she asks, her chin digging into your leg. 
“What?” 
“I finished the puzzle!” 
“You did? All five hundred pieces? Oh my gosh, daddy, we have a pro in the house.” Luckily, the other girls weren't interested in Avery's jigsaw, and she's had some time to herself. You hadn't expected Avery to like it as much as she did, you only bought it because it was off different kinds of dogs, which she loves. 
Steve beams at Avery with the same shade of pride he'd worn only ten minutes earlier. “No way! Sweetheart, we'll have you on the thousand piece ones in no time.” 
She flusters at all the positive attention and hides her face in your hip. Not like her. You giggle and rub the top of her shoulder affectionately. “Can I come and see?” you ask. 
She remembers her enthusiasm. “Yes! Yeah, come and look, please. Daddy, please?” 
You all march back into the living room to gather around the small table that Avery's commandeered for her puzzle. Dove has been given strict instruction to leave it alone, and she's so high on Christmas happiness she hasn't bothered disobeying.
You peek over at Wren snoozing in her bassinet. She's a sleepy baby now she's done with her colicky tirade of terror. Steve sees you looking and takes your hand, lime he's saying, Yeah, you made that one too. 
“Oh, wow,” he says, voice thick with awe. 
“You did it so quickly, you're so smart,” you praise, bending down to Avery's height. “Wow, look at the puppies. They're so cute. They're like you.” Mom-ese never fails. 
Avery wraps her arms around herself and leans up on toes to kiss your cheek. “Thanks, mom.” 
Steve squeezes her arm. 
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wileys-russo · 6 months
Text
under the mistletoe II s.blackstenius x reader
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merry christmas eve besties under the mistletoe II s.blackstenius x reader
"oh they decorated!" you noticed right away as you wandered into colney for training, amanda by your side having driven you as the two of you often took turns since you lived in the same complex.
"ha! that is going to be fun." amanda nudged you and pointed to the random tufts of fake mistletoe hung up around as you both made your way to the changing rooms, music already pumping away in the distance.
"oh if you wanted a kiss why didn't you say!" you teased, kissing her cheek as she pushed you away with a roll of her eyes, having adopted an older sister role of sorts since you'd both moved to arsenal this season.
of course you were already welcomed in by your fellow national team mates, grateful to know some of the team on your first day as lina and stina both wasted no time showing the two of you around and making sure you settled in.
stina in particular you'd always been quite fond of, the two of you often spending time together on national duty you were hopeful that it might continue to build into something a little more than friends now you both played for arsenal.
you'd liked her for a couple of years now, more of a silly little crush than anything else that you always assumed was one way. well you did, until the world cup.
you were all out as a team celebrating your bronze medals when stina had pulled you away from the group claiming she didn't want to go to the toilet by herself, only within seconds of the two of you having a moment alone her lips were on yours.
the kiss was messy to say the least with both your bloodstreams pumped full of alcohol, though you never got a chance to see where it might have lead as a very drunk frido stumbled around the corner and crashed into the two of you, stina practically running away the moment she did leaving you to look after frido and with a head a mess of thoughts.
you'd waited to see if she'd bring up the kiss, she never did.
afraid she was just too drunk to remember or worse she'd purposefully chosen to forget, you kept it to yourself and remained grateful it didn't change how the blonde acted around you.
especially now at the same club you found yourself spending even more time with her, though rarely one on one it was generally in a group setting she still gravitated to your side, pairing up for drills and sitting beside you most chances she could.
if you didn't know any better you'd swear sometimes she flirted with you, showering you with praise and compliments followed by an awkward little smile or hug before she'd race away and leave you wondering if maybe she did remember the kiss.
then reality would sink in and you'd remind yourself that this was just how stina was, how she'd always be and that just friends seemed to be your destined fate together.
hearing your phone start to ring you nodded for amanda to enter the changing room as you speed walked a little more out of earshot of the music pumping from inside as you clicked accept and moved it to your ear.
"Vännen!" you smiled hearing the familiar accent ring through the phone. "hello frido." you chuckled, dumping your bag by your feet and leaning your back against the wall behind you.
"hello frido. god you sound so english!" the woman gagged making you laugh and curse at her in swedish. "sorry should i have said it in spanish? hola puta!" you teased as she clicked her tongue at you and you could only imagine the way her eyes would be rolling on the other end of the line.
"i'll be having alexia speak with laia if she's going to continue to teach you only bad words in spanish!" the blonde warned jokingly though you really wouldn't put it past her to do so. "how is the knee Gumman?" you smirked as she swore at you with a huff for the nickname meaning old woman.
"still attached to my leg, we are getting there. very slowly!" frido sighed as you frowned sympathetically, having been looked after by the older girl ever since you'd joined the national team years ago you cared for her very deeply so to know she was unable to play at the moment was painful.
"how is your crush on stina?" your sympathy melted away at her teasing tone. "she is so confusing, it kills me!" you groaned, looking around to make sure you were alone as frido prompted you to elaborate.
"when it is just us she is so sweet. always getting things for me like my food or my bag or my boots, pulling me to sit with her on the bus, always complimenting me and hugging me and i think she might like me back. but she is that way with everyone!" you sighed, rubbing your spare hand against your face and noticing a few of the girls start to file out of the change rooms for training.
"but she has not kissed everyone Vännen. tell her how you feel!" frido reminded softly as you sighed. "she does not remember that, or if she does then she has chosen to forget, and i do not wish to make a fool of myself by bringing it up or ruining things. i have to go we have training, i will call you tonight?" you offered, wanting a better chance to catch up with the girl who agreed before you ended the call.
now one of the last to get ready you hurried down the hall and into the change rooms, dropping down by your cubby and hurrying to change into your boots, stripping off your hoodie and tossing it behind you.
"did someone sleep in this morning?" you glanced up to meet bright blue eyes and an amused smile. "no i was speaking with frido." you returned her smile, lacing up your boots and rummaging around for your drink bottle with a frown.
though before you could worry any further it appeared in front of you in stina's tight hold, you taking it from her and standing with a grateful smile. "tack själv!" you sighed and craned your head up to kiss her cheek, walking out of the change rooms and missing the way the blondes whole face lit up bright red and she hurried after you.
"the decorations are nice." you smiled as she caught up with you, the clacking of your boots loud against the polished floors as stina hummed in agreement.
the morning passed by with nothing out of the ordinary, everyone pausing just before lunch to watch laura do her first run on the grass, both you and stina quite close with the austrian defender cheered loudly and proudly.
breaking for lunch everyone returned to the change rooms to swap shoes, the afternoons media session studying the weekends opponents not requiring cleats.
"mistletoe Snygging!" you barely had time to look up before katie had almost tackled you to the bench, faux bunch in her hand and held over your head as she pressed a wet kiss to your cheek and you pushed her off wiping your cheek.
"who taught you Snygging?" you laughed as she grinned and nodded to lina before racing off to find another victim. "i never understand that." you looked to your right to meet stinas frown. "what?" you questioned, slipping your hoodie back on over your training top.
"mistletoe, the kissing. seems silly!" stina shrugged as you only hummed. "i think its sweet, maybe a little silly but still fun." you smiled softly, looking up as vic and kyra raced past, vic having 'accidentally' dumped her water on the australians head.
"ah! stop that, go change you are all wet and its freezing." you warned the younger girls who ignored you with a shrug, kyra aiming her bottle at vic who ducked at the last minute causing kyra to spray her bottle all over you.
"sorry!" the australian apologized with a wince as steph grabbed her and you sighed waving her away. "here." you felt a tap to your thigh and looked up to see stina offering you her own hoodie which you gratefully accepted after peeling off your own soaked one.
you tried not to dwell on how it felt to be wrapped up in the large bundle of material, drowned in the scent of her shampoo and the woody tones of her perfume which tickled at your nose and allowed your body to settle.
"won't you be cold?" you questioned as she changed out of her long sleeve into her short. "some of us have real scandinavian blood in us, don't feel the cold." she teased as you pinched her and she laughed, offering you a hand up.
you expected her to let go of you once she pulled you to your feet but to your surprise her arm settled over your shoulders pulling you into her side as she walked the two of you toward the cafeteria.
"are you going home for christmas?" the blonde asked curiously as you gave her a strange look. "we booked the same flight back!" you laughed, all four of you travelling home together at the end of the season having booked the tickets only a couple of weeks ago.
"no! i mean to your families house." stina corrected, cheeks tinted slightly pink as she handed you a tray. "oh! no, my sister is hosting everyone this year." the two of you conversed about your plans, laura joining you as you both pulled her into tight hugs of congratulation and stinas arm left your shoulder.
filing into the media room after lunch it wasn't anything new when stina tugged on the back of your her hoodie to signal you sit beside her, your head falling to her shoulder as you chatted to alessia in front of you.
the room quietened as jonas and the coaching staff arrived, everyone settling down and paying attention throughout the entire presentation.
when the lights flicked back on a couple of hours later the room winced and chatter resumed as the coaching staff left and everyone started to stretch out tired limbs and do the same.
wandering back toward the change rooms to grab bags and head off for the day the mood was upbeat, everyone tired but excited to be done for the day, a group invitation of going out for dinner thrown about as some accepted but most declined with the weather outside worsening.
"ah ah ah!" you jolted to a stop as a hand planted on your chest stopping you in your tracks as stina ran into the back of you and apologised, katie blocking the two of you from entering.
"mistletoe!" katie smirked nodding upwards as you rolled your eyes. "didn't see you harassing anyone else for a kiss mccabe!" you chuckled, trying to go around her as she blocked the doorway again.
"not me. the two of you, go on! its bad luck not to have a little smooch." katie grinned wolfishly wiggling her eyebrows, waving off a few of the girls who yelled out from inside for her to leave you both alone.
"katie come on, move." you groaned trying to shoulder her out of the way without succeeding in moving her an inch. "stina! don't want bad luck do ya?" the irishwoman grinned over your head to the taller girl behind you who up until now hadn't said a word.
"i do not care and i do not want to kiss her katie, move." her words were blunt and hurt you much more than you cared to admit, katie not missing the way your face changed to convey so and quickly moving out of your way as you hurried inside.
"hey Älskling-" you heard amanda sit beside you and place a hand on your shoulder with a concerned look as you shook your head and pushed away her hand. "can we go please?" you murmured quietly grabbing your bag, cheeks hot with humiliation as the older girl nodded.
pulling off stina's hoodie you shoved it into her hands without a word or a look in her direction and pushed past her, ignoring her calls after you as you followed amanda out to the car, hearing kim and leah rip into katie for embarrassing the two of you and trying not to pretend you cared.
"vänta en minut!" footsteps pounded after you as amanda turned and spotted stina hurrying after the two of you, squeezing your arm and saying she'd wait for you in the car, leaving before you could even say another word.
with a sigh you stopped, allowing stina to catch up to you and find her breath for a moment, nodding for you to follow her into one of the meeting rooms for a little privacy.
"i'm so sorry, it came out wrong." she rushed out quickly, hands playing with the strap of her gym bag as you shrugged. "its fine stina, no need to be sorry." you forced a smile and turned to leave as she moved to grab your wrist.
"please, hear me out." she pleaded as you gave her an odd look but nodded, gesturing for her to continue as she took a deep breath. "okay. i just-" she paused, clearly struggling with how to continue.
"at the world cup, there was one night after the win when we went out partying. we were very drunk and you looked so happy and beautiful and...free." your cheeks blushed a little at her words not expecting them.
"i saw you dancing with the others and not with me so i took your hand and told you to come to the toilet with me-" your chest tightened at her words, not daring to believe you were really hearing this.
"-but really i just wanted to kiss you, with the alcohol in me i felt like i had all the courage i never had before." your breath stopped entirely at that.
"and so we..." she trailed off rubbing the back of her neck. "-we kissed." you finished for her as she gave you an incredulous look of surprise. "you remember?" you nodded at that and her face seemed to fall.
"this was a mistake." she shook her head and turned to leave as now you took hold of her wrist and pulled her back. "no, please finish." you asked, voice barely above a whisper as she hesitated but eventually nodded.
"-we kissed. then frido interrupted and you looked embarrassed so i left, then we never spoke about it so i assumed you were just too drunk and thats why you kissed me back." she admitted quietly and you couldn't help but let out a peal of laughter.
"what is funny?" "this. you, me, all of it." "i knew this was a mistake."
"no no! i remember the kiss yes, but when you left and never mentioned it i thought you were too drunk to remember or that you'd maybe chosen to forget." you bit your lip as stinas eyes widened.
"i like you but i didn't think you liked me back." stina blurted out, tips of her ears burning bright red as your eyes bugged. "i like you too, i didn't think you liked me back!"
"so we-" "-we both remember." "but we-" "-we both didn't bring it up." "and we-" "-we both like each other."
at that a silence built between you, both searching one anothers faces for any signs of insincerity in your confessions. suddenly stina let out a groan, cheeks red with embarrassment as she buried her face in her hands.
"we are very stupid." "so stupid."
at that you both shared a smile which built into a laugh, the taller girl pulling you into a hug as you melted into her, the air around you starting to crackle with an odd feeling as your laughter died down and you craned your head back to look up at her.
"hey stina." you spoke as she raised an eyebrow. "mistletoe." you pointed above her head with a small smile as her eyes flicked upward and she let out a laugh. "katie said it is bad luck, right?"
at that she ducked her head to press her lips to yours, your mouths slotting against one anothers perfectly as you relaxed into her, balling her top in your fists as your head spun like a top.
this kiss was very different to the last. her lips were soft and welcoming, and she kissed you so tenderly as if you might break if she wasn't careful, one hand cupping your cheek to deepen it slightly, testing the waters as her tongue swiped against your bottom lip and you parted them slightly to allow her tongue to slip into your mouth.
pulling away after a few beats of silence passed the two of you blushed and refused to look at one another, though still pressed together there was very little other options.
"oh you are joking!" you leapt away from one another and looked to the door where amanda was throwing her head back with a groan, the two of you sending her strange looks as she clicked her tongue.
"you both could not have waited till next season? i owe frido money now!"
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starry-hughes · 6 months
Text
wrapping presents (jack hughes)
day 12 of star’s ficmas
jack hughes x reader
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Jack was pretty insistent on the fact that he didn’t need an assistant. But everyone else thought he did. He was immature, constantly forgetting about meetings, if someone else wasn’t grocery shopping for him, he would be eating leftover meals from the nutrition team every day. He didn’t know what temperature to preheat the oven to for chicken.
Luke didn’t mind your presence. He knew you helped Jack more than anything, plus you kept the pantry stocked with his favorite fruit snacks. Jack appreciated you more than anything. You picked up his drycleaning, made sure he was where he needed to be, and sometimes, you would wait up for him after hard games to help him put icy hot on his shoulder.
You were his life saver.
Jack had wanted to thank you for all your hardwork. You had been his assistant since his rookie year. You stuck by him through injuries and his small hissy fits he would throw when the team was in a bad area of the season. He had thanked you previously, big extravaganza gifts, bonuses for the holiday and offering to buy you plane tickets to go wherever you desired. At the beginning, he didn’t want to admit that he needed someone like you, but now he didn’t know what to do without you. This year, though, he couldn’t think of something to get you, until he saw the present in a bookstore. He wasn’t typically found in bookstores but the gift caught his eye in the window.
You entered his apartment with bags of Christmas gifts and wrapping paper. Jack was sitting on the couch with Luke. “Got all the gifts you needed,” you smiled at the man who was technically your boss. Jack sighed happily, “Oh what would I do without you.”
You grinned, carrying the gifts to his room to wrap. “You’d probably perish.”
Luke waited until the door of Jack’s bedroom closed, signaling that you were in his bedroom, wrapping gifts. You knew Jack’s bedroom well, hell you’d slept in his bed before. It wasn’t on purpose of course, but when the team had all gotten sick and you two were quarantined together, you had really gotten to know him by talking for hours in his bedroom, which resulted in you falling asleep on his bed. “Did you get (Y/N) a gift?”
“Yeah dude of course. I always get her one.”
Jack jumped up from the couch, carrying over a box. It wasn’t wrapped, just a plain white box he was planning to stick a bow on and call it a day. It was a custom, leather bound journal with flowers pressed on the cover. “It made me think of her.”
“So when are you going to tell her you’re in love with her?” Jack hit his brother, a signal for Luke to shut up.
You neatly wrapped all the gifts before packing them in a suitcase for Jack to take to Michigan for the holiday break. You loved your job and did it with a smile on your face. Sure, Jack sometimes drove you crazy but you really liked him. Maybe even loved. You chalked up your feelings to the fact that you spent a majority of your time with him. A proximity crush. You’d never fall for him if you didn’t spend so much time with him.
“Picking up dinner boys, be back soon,” you said as you got your coat on. “Oh actually, just dinner for you and Jacky, I’m going over to Dawson’s,” Luke said. Jack’s eyebrows furrowed together, “I didn’t think you were going there.” The brothers shared a look. Luke was telling him with his eyes that it was time to make a move. “Well I am, you and (Y/N) enjoy dinner together,” Luke gritted.
“Jack, I’ll be back with dinner I guess,” you said confused before leaving. “What the hell dude?” Jack whipped his head toward Luke. “Just tell her you love her! Tonight! Stop beating around the bush!”
You got home with food and Jack wasn’t in the living room. “Jack?” you called out. You heard a muttered “damn it” from his bedroom and you walked to his room. He had tape stuck to his fingers and horrible cut wrapping paper and a plain white box on the floor of his bedroom. “What are you doing? I thought I wrapped all the gifts?”
“This one is special,” Jack huffed out. He was raising the white flag, surrendering to the wrapping paper. You left the paper bag of food on his dresser and joined him on the floor of his bedroom. “You should measure the wrapping paper and make sure it covers the whole box, like this, before cutting,” you explained softly. He pulled himself closer to you, he could hear your heartbeat picking up.
“Then, you should tape one side down to the box, then the other side, and finally the edges you tuck in to make triangles and then fold,” you narrated as he handed you pieces of tape. “Must be a special present if you wanted to wrap it yourself,” you looked at him. His lips were inches away.
“Yeah, something like that,” he mumbled. You could have sworn he was moving in to kiss you before you snapped out of your trance. “Do you want to add a bow to the box?” you cleared your throat and looked back at the neatly wrapped present. “Oh,” Jack was snapped back to reality, “I guess?”
You added the bow before handing it to Jack. “I’m sure she’ll love it.”
Jack’s eyes almost pop out of his head. “How do you know it’s for a girl?”
“Because Jack, I’ve only ever seen you put this much effort into presents or items if it’s for a girl you really like.”
Jack could have laughed, it was so ironic. You were right and you had no idea how right you were.
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