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angelic-serenade · 4 years

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request: Imagine Light discovering that you know MMA and you offer to teach him so he can properly defend himself

requested by: @sacredwarrior88

a/n: hope the waiting was woth it! jokes aside, I am deeply sorry for the amount of time this took and the fact I got sidetracked, I hope you can still enjoy this piece!

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

pairing: Light Yagami x f!reader

fandom: Death Note

warnings: angst, ment of death & murder, guilt tripping, manipulation, light yagami being light yagami, toxic relationship, canon typical violence

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“You're a pretty boy, Light Yagami. You should be able to properly defend yourself!”

That's what you kept repeating to the golden student of the prestigious Daikoku private academy ever since you had been granted the 'privilege' of referring to him as a friend. Light Yagami was nothing short of extraordinary - perfect, some would dare to say. But perfection and popularity, above all, are bound to have a price and you feared the day someone would finally strike up enough courage to try and shred the boy to pieces out of envy for his academic success and overall superiority in everything he did. Revenge was petty like that.

Therefore, being a well-practiced mixed martial arts fighter yourself, you insisted on giving the boy some lessons in order to at least help him reach a decent level of self-defense, so that he would hopefully be able to get out of any minor sticky situation unscathed. Extreme apprehension aside, it was a really useful skill which would benefit anyone and Light Yagami would be no exception. You knew the mighty hero of adults and students alikd had no time to spare, with his schedule permanently jam-packed and quite the amount of expectations to meet: MMA trainings would cost him more time he could afford losing - or so he had said. Whatever reason he conjured up each time you offered, it could do nothing to soothe your worries, which kept falling on deaf ears as Light kept politely turning your queries down.

“I may be a pretty boy as you say, (Y/N), but I am no secret agent or spy. I doubt I'd even run into any situation as dangerous as to call for such drastic measures. Besides, if I ever get in trouble I'll simply have to give you a call.”

And so the days passed between playful banter and boring study sessions, with no further mention of those lessons you wished your friend had accepted; you were a bit crestfallen to say the truth, but you guessed that maybe he’d manage even with no training at all. Besides, Light made sure to make it up to you by inviting you to hang out with him any time he had a moment to finally breathe and take a break – you were glad that you’d get to meet with him outside of school as no one else could actually say the same for themselves. You were aware that the boy was practically married to his academic career and the effort he made to keep the relationship working outside of the academy’s walls too was not lost on you. At first, everything seemed to work out just fine between the two of you: you were friends, best friends even, and you also became a regular at the Yagami household’s dining table. Furthermore, each time you’d have a MMA match, he’d be there to support you. You’d gotten so used to spot him through the crowd that your eyes seemed to immediately find him among the many anonymous faces around you. It was nice and it became routine.

That is until something seemed to change.

The shift was gradual, nothing major to be concerned of at first – maybe he was just tired because of the exams? Or maybe the field work he’d taken up to help his father was really burning him out, right? As days went by, you tried to cheer your friend up, but to no avail: his expression grew distant, and even though Light Yagami had never been an outgoing individual per se, his prolonged silences and far-away stares made him look even more stoic and cold than usual. It was worrying and it started to bother you, a lot. You didn’t know what was troubling the usually moderate boy, but you were certain that whatever the hell was happening, it was affecting Light immensely. Being a discreet person himself, Light never spoke a word to you about anything that might have been considered remotely negative. Your days were spent as before, enjoying each other’s company – to an outsider’s eye, nothing had changed in the way he carried himself, but to a more attentive eye, such as yours, his conduct grew to be concerning: even when he was with you, his mind would always be elsewhere. You pondered the idea of confronting him face to face, but you didn’t want to pry or come off as coquettish. Therefore you kept worrying in silence, mind haunted by the possibilities that could have led your dear friend down on such a questionable path.

You didn’t wait for long though. The confirmation to your suspicions made itself known when Light came to you one day to ask about those lessons you had offered him months back.

The sudden request, after so much time spent together without ever mentioning the offer, struck you as odd. What had changed his mind? As you racked your brain to try and get the answers you so desperately craved, you couldn't help but to come to the same conclusion over and over again: Light's excuse for finally making up his mind about self-defense was bulletproof, sure, but the sudden change of heart didn't sit well with you still. Was the wish to aid his father on the field all there was to it? You didn't think so. But until you had no solid proof to your suspicions, that was all they'd ever be. You refused to act on a whim and rather logically decided to humor the boy in his newfound interest, as long as he kept his sights on self-defense and self-defense only. In the meantime, you decided you’d monitor the evolution of his behavior and keep a close watch on him .

“You have made quite some progress, huh.”

You swallowed down almost half the water bottle in your hand, while looking at your equally worn out companion: it had been another two hours of training and you came to the conclusion that maybe it was time to end your little sparring session.

“If it’s you who says it, it must be true.” Smiled the boy, but it did not quite reach his eyes.

“I think our lessons are numbered, there’s not much else I can teach you.”

“That’s nice to hear, you really are a tough teacher.” Another fake smile which you did not reciprocate. As he made haste to get everything he’d brought with him in his bag, you made up your mind and settled for upfront confrontation.

“I guess… say Light, is there something that’s been bothering you lately?” it was now or never and you weren’t going to let the occasion go. He was tired and supposedly had his guard down – it was a moment as good as any to get some information out of him.

“Oh, I guess I’ve been pretty out of it lately, huh? I’m sorry if I had you worried, work at the station has been quite hectic and I can’t help but take it home with me.”

“That makes sense, don’t stress yourself out too much though. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can to support your father.” your words were automatic, articulated with little to no regard for the boy’s feelings: you were disappointed your so-called friend had decided to feed you yet another hollow excuse instead than opening up to you as a friend should. If there was anything you absolutely could not stand about Light Yagami, it was his charming way of spinning words in order to avoid revealing the whole truth.

“Thank you, (Y/N).”

Frustrated that he had let the conversation drop for the umpteenth time, annoyed at your fruitless attempts to persuade your friend to simply talk to you, and, to top it all, exhausted by the tough training session of the day, you let the negative impulses get to your head and acted in an uncharacteristically rash way: the surprise punch landed on the target with no effort at all and, even though you realized one second too late that you had broken almost a dozen rules of the moral code of martial arts, you felt invigorated by the action. The sound of your punch colliding with Light’s jaw brought an immense amount of satisfaction to your fogged mind, so much so that you almost came to question your own twisted way of taking it out on the boy; the moment of blind anger subsided, but you did not back down from the upcoming fight:

“I intended to give you the benefit of the doubt, given the sincere nature of the friendship I thought we shared, but apparently I was way too understanding with you. I keep extending my hand towards you and you threaten to bite it off each time with your half-hearted excuses and half-truths. You may not be aware of it, but this-” you gestured towards him and then yourself: “this is not the way things should be between friends, Light Yagami and I’m sick of pretending everything’s alright.”

The boy did not flinch, nor did he make any move to reciprocate your previous offending motion. He just stood there, impassible and unreadable.

“Will you at least say something? Or do you not care at all?”

Light Yagami was stuck, both physically and figuratively speaking. Your harsh words had caught him off guard, literally hitting him in the face with the hard reality he’d been progressively distancing himself from. He had underestimated what an issue your shared bond could become for his great plan of rebuilding the world; if he were to be completely honest, he’d considered disposing of you at first – not permanently, of course, but cutting you off from his life would have been one less burden to worry about. His game of cat and mouse with L did not make things easy though: you were the weak link, a bothersome liability he should have taken care of since the start, but terminating the friendship with you so abruptly would have done nothing but to bring more attention upon himself and you. His position within the special task force of L was precarious enough as it was, he couldn’t afford the slightest miscalculation. Therefore he’d settled on exploiting whatever he could gain from the relationship (hence the MMA training lessons) while maintaining the façade of a precious but unfortunately extremely busy friend. He hadn’t anticipated you’d actually see right through his little stunt.

He raised a hand to his jaw – it stung. A sudden urge overcame him and his hand twitched as if expecting to clench around a certain black notebook. As soon as the compulsion hit, he composed himself once again:

“I’m sorry (Y/N), I realize I’ve been a terrible friend to you, but-” the words caught on his tongue, a sob rocking his frame so suddenly you almost jumped back, startled. Guilt began to pool in your stomach, had you been too hard on him?

“Things are not going well at the station and I can’t give you any details but it is all so- so overwhelming-”

You closed the distance between the two of you and, feeling oh so regretful for your hasty actions and so hypocritical for your arrogant claims, you hugged your dear friend as if it were your lifeline.

“I’m sorry Light, I-”

“There’s no need to apologize (Y/N), I have been so cold to you and it is my fault that I cut you off like that. I assure you it will never happen again, I will do better.”

You held the boy in your arms, and let him take his time to calm down. Horrible, that’s what you felt for treating a friend so hatefully - he’d already been struggling on his own and instead of landing him a comforting hand, you had hit him with it. You promised you’d make it up to him, too.

“If that punch managed to catch me so off guard, it means you’ll have to bear with me for a few more lessons, I guess” he finally smiled.

[…]

“You should have seen the look on your face when she punched you! Priceless! Oh I am so glad you humans can prove to be so entertaining yet!”

Light gave you a wave of his hand as he made his way down the street, away from your house, ignoring the nagging laughter of the hellish being following him around. What a waste of his time.

“I really thought you’d get rid of her for good this time! What a night!”

The boy made no comment to Ryuk’s exhilarated blabbering, trying instead not to lose himself in that primordial fury that made him tempted to write another name on the Death Note.

“And the way you managed to play her- she was mortified when you started crying! You are a great actor, Light Yagami.”

“Shut up, Ryuk.” whispered Light.

“You know what I think? I think you can’t really get rid of her, even if you desperately want to, even with no L getting in the way of your plans – you’d still wouldn’t be able to kill her. Oh, now, that’s gold!”

The boy did not confirm nor confute Ryuk’s words - he kept silent as he made his way through the darkness.

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ninequestions9 · 5 years

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Me, 26, Executive Assistant

*My uncle made the suggestion that I answer my own questions then a year from now, when my project is done, answer them again and see how my views have changed. Here we go.*

1) What is the biggest frustration you’re facing now?

I’m at a point in my life where I’m done with formal schooling and building my education, I have a good job so career-wise I’m in a good place, but I’m not yet building a relationship or marriage or family. So for the first time in my life I am in this weird gap of not knowing what to do with myself. There’s no plan to follow or goals to achieve. I’m just doing things as they come along and throwing down floorboards as I walk. Most people would kill to be in this situation. Absolute freedom. Plus I’m young and healthy and financially secure enough. I have innumerable blessings, I know.

Yet, I am incredibly frustrated with my life. A very privileged frustration, I know. I LOVE having a plan. I love having steps to take and goals to work towards and having a vision of where I’m going. I love structure. I need find something to channel my energy into. I’m eager to jump into the next phase of life and build towards marriage and such, but unfortunately I can’t control when I meet “the one.” I feel a lot of pressure to be on 1,000 dating apps and go out more and join more activities and organizations and talk to everyone, but it’s exhausting and just makes me anxious. I want meeting someone to be fun and genuine. But I guess you can’t have your cake and eat it too.

I’m trying to see the positive in all this. God has a plan. I look for three things to be grateful for a day. That helps me stay focused on the present and not freaking out about the unknown future. God has a plan and I know he’s putting me through the exact thing that makes me the most uncomfortable in order to make me stronger. I’m waiting for it to end though and the waiting is frustrating.

2) What trait do you wish you most had?

I wish I had more faith. I chose that as my confirmation name when I was 13 because even then I knew I needed more faith. Of course my belief in Jesus and the truth of the Bible is firm, but I wish I had more faith in God’s plan for my life. If God is the ultimate source of goodness, joy, love, and peace then no matter how he orchestrates my life, it will be for the best; whether in my lifetime or within the greater narrative.

I spend way too much time worrying that things won’t work out the way I want them to. But really if I think about it, all the wonderful things of my life occurred, not because of my own doing, but really because of the people who happen to be in my life, the foundation my parents laid out for us, where I happen to live, what media society happen to produce at that time. I wound up at the college I attended because of a terrible fight I had with my mom. She wanted me to meet with the various college recruiters who circulated through my high school so I could learn more about what schools were out there and get a better understanding of what I was looking for. Very wise, but I didn’t want to bother missing class so I stubbornly refused. Long story short, while driving me to school, we got into another argument about it which ended with my mom calling me a little bitch and me slamming the door in her face. I begrudgingly signed up to attend the info session for the college that was visiting that day, University of Delaware, and in the end, that’s the college I wound up going to. I had never heard of that college before then and probably would have completely ignored it otherwise.

In high school, I failed my Spanish AP test which meant I HAD to take one Spanish class in college. I had wanted to leave Spanish behind because I made up my mind I just wasn’t good at it. But of course, that one Spanish class I took freshman year turned out to be taught by an amazing professor who really made me feel like I could learn Spanish. So I wound up declaring a Spanish minor, studying abroad in Spain and now I speak Spanish! Haha!

So having faith in God’s timing and accepting that I really don’t have as much control as I think I do.

3) What are 3 characteristics you look for in a friend?

Sense of humor, being real / genuine, and responsible. Laughter is essential. Life has more joy when you’re with someone who can find the humor in the most uncomfortable or awkward situations. Genuine because I can’t be myself and be real if I know the other person is putting on some kind of front or persona. If they’re glossing over the truth or trying to sell me some polished version of themselves then I just don’t have time for that kind of lack of self awareness. Responsible because I need to feel I can trust you’re not going to get us into a reckless situation or that you’re going to be there when you say you are. You’re not rude or oblivious to how your actions affect others. Mature. I sound so harsh, but I guess I’m thinking in terms of a deeper friendship.

4) What makes you feel brave?

When I’m taking care of others. When I feel my skills, knowledge, strengths are being put to good use and helping another person, then I feel brave. As my parents are getting older, I feel brave when they need me to drive them somewhere, get medicine, or make food. I also feel brave when I’m being kind to strangers. It’s so much easier to ignore other people or think “Oh that’s not my problem. They probably don’t want to be bothered,” but I’ve learned that’s not true. Most people are looking for some kind of connection or enjoy being noticed. So when I get past my own pride and try to connect with other people, I feel brave because there’s always the chance they’ll respond with some kind of haughty attitude or just look at me like I’m strange, but it’s worth it for the times I can make someone feel cared about.

5) What makes you feel vulnerable?

Knowing that I care way more about another person than they care about me. Or thinking someone is just The Coolest and admiring them and then knowing they will never think that way about me. When I was in middle school, my best friend suddenly stopped making plans with me to hang out. She also stopped inviting me to group outings with other friends. Eventually we just stopped talking. Looking back, I’m sure she had her reasons. I used a lot of mean/mocking humor with my friends and I think she just got sick of it. Completely fair. But it hurt so much because she was still my best friend in my mind even though her own priorities changed and she couldn’t care less about our friendship. So yeah that still haunts me. Those situations make me feel worthless.

6) What was your proudest moment?

When I got a lead in my high school production of Grease. I was Rizzo. It still holds such weight with me because that was like the ultimate validation as a teenager. It told me I was talented, I was liked, I was trusted, and I got a lot of attention for getting a lead role haha! I looked up to my older brother for getting leads in high school plays and then I was able to live up to that “legacy,” if you will.

I’m always pretty proud when I tell people I worked at Disney World or when I speak Spanish too.

7) Who is your role model / hero and why?

My grandma. My dad’s mom. She’s how I try to model myself as a Christian woman. She gives so much and she’s always thinking of others. Her present circumstances are a testament to the way she lived her life. At 95, she has a ton of people who actively WANT to take care of her. All the people she’s taken care of all these years are now joyfully taking care of her; driving her places, getting her food, taking her out. She has a lot of people in her life who really love her and it’s because she gives so much love. She’s also incredibly wise. She’s lived through the Great Depression, World War II, losing her sister at a young age, a miscarriage, raising four kids in a low income area, she’s traveled Europe, etc. She’s seen a lot, but she found joy in the simple things. She worked in a bank as a teller most of her life, but she said it was the best job she ever had because of all the friends she made and getting to know the customers. She was happy with what she had and she made what she had stretch to the point where she was able to feed all her kids and also invite the neighbors over too. She’s who I admire.

8) What is one life lesson you’d like to pass down to future generations?

On a spiritual level: Don’t base your self worth on something you can lose. Don’t base it on your academic performance, job achievements, significant other, family, kids, socioeconomic status, etc. Your self worth needs to come from something greater than you and this world. Look into who God is. Do research on who he says he is, what other religions say he is, what science and philosophy have to say about a higher power and just seek out the truth in that regard. Find God and look to understand his purpose for your life and this world as a whole. That advice probably won’t resonate with a large audience, but there it is.

Also, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and have fun. Nobody looks stupid when they’re having fun.

9) What is your opinion of Jesus?

Jesus is the son of God, the messiah, and he died for my sins. God himself paid the price for my mistakes and my selfishness so that I wouldn’t have to. He did that for everyone. That’s love.

But also, Jesus was not the weak, mild, whitewashed, nice-guy that you see in stain glass windows. What he had to say angered A LOT of people. It angered the “holiest” of people, the Pharisees, the temple leaders, the ones who supposedly knew the most about the scriptures and God. So much so that they wanted him dead. They arranged for his arrest and execution.

Jesus is hope, but what he had to say didn’t always make people feel hopeful. When the rich young man asked Jesus what he had to do to inherit the kingdom of God, Jesus told him to give up all his belongings (essentially his identity, his pride, his comfort) and follow him. The rich young man walked away discouraged and hopeless. Not because there wasn’t hope, but because he wasn’t willing to lose what he had. Really he wasn’t willing to put himself aside. So it shouldn’t surprise us that Jesus’s words still make people uncomfortable today.

But also, because Jesus tells us to put our own lives, worries, desires aside and trust and follow him, it’s actually easing the burden. It doesn’t sound fun and it’s a daily struggle, but when you get there, there is a sense of peace and groundedness. You don’t need to focus on yourself as much. You are free to take care of others and focus on God’s plan. I’m on a soap box now because this is way easier said than done, but you take it day by day.

Jesus is my God and my savior and he is fearless.

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