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choupetit · 5 years

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GOT Recap: The Long Night

Airdate: 4/28/19 ; Season 8, Episode 3

The great battle we’ve so been anticipating is upon us and peeps are gonna die! I’m scurred! The night is indeed dark and full of terrors – and in this particular case, it was so dark that many viewers (including yours truly) had a tough time actually seeing the action on screen. So adjust your brightness settings, turn off all the lights, grab your stress ball and set a timer to remind yourself to breathe every 5 minutes, ‘cause this was one very intense episode and it’s time for a supersized recap of “The Long Night”. To get the full authentic feel of the show, I highly recommend you wrap some mesh around your eyes to make sure that you have to really squint to read all the words – ya know, so you can feel like you’re there with the characters. Now, let’s get to it!

Is there any better way to start than a close-up of Samwell Tarly’s shaking hands as some dragonglass weapons are thrust into them? I think not. Things are tense from the get go, y’all, and we follow Sam as he walks past all the various characters and groups as they take their places for the battle ahead.

Lyanna Mormont shouts to her men in the courtyard. Bran, accompanied by Theon Greyjoy and his men, shoots Sam a look as he is pushed in his wheelchair toward the Godswood. Tyrion grabs a giant flask of wine as he makes his way to the crypts. A giant formation of Unsullied stand at the ready. Ahead of them are the Dothraki on their horses – Ser Jorah Mormont is among them on his steed looking out into the endless black night. Ghost is there, too! The Northerners and Free Folk are primed for the fight and we get a nice view of the lineup of all our favorites: Brienne of Tarth, Jaime Lannister, Podrick Payne, Tormund Giantsbane, Gendry, The Hound, Beric Dondarrion and Dolorous Edd – whom Sam joins in the formation.

On the ramparts are sisters Sansa and Arya Stark as well as Ser Davos Seaworth – they peer into the dark, unable to see anything at all. Overhead a sharp dragon shriek rings out – Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow soar past them on the two dragons, Drogon and Rhaegal. The tension is palpable as the collective group stares off into the cold nothingness. The only sound to be heard is the wind. They wait. Out of the darkness, a cloaked rider slowly approaches the front line of Dothraki. It’s Melisandre, here to (hopefully) save the day! Or night! She asks Jorah to instruct the horde to raise their swords. As they do, Melisandre walks to one of the riders, clasps his blade in her hand and starts to chant some witchy voodoo words. The blade catches on fire and it sets off a domino effect: A sea of Dothraki swords is set ablaze and it’s awesome to behold. Damn straight, Night King, we comin’ for ya!! Jorah gives a nod of appreciation, and as Melisandre’s horse makes its way toward the Winterfell gates, she passes Grey Worm and says “Valar Morghulis” (All men must die). He replies “Valar Dohaeris” (All men must servce). Ugh, all men must die?! Noooo, it’s been nice knowing you, Grey Worm!

As the fire priestess approaches, Ser Davos instructs the guards to open the gates and he storms down to confront her. They meet and she tells him to cool his jets. “No need to kill me, dude, I’ll be dead before dawn.” Melisandre glances to the ramparts where she sees Arya looking at her. Hey, now they’re like…what’s the female term for “Tunnel Brothers”…maybe ”Sausage Sisters”? They both stare at each other for a moment, stone faced.

We get an awesome view from the ramparts of all the Dothraki with their fiery swords, and on the battle field, Jorah calls out to the riders to charge. All the Dorthraki surge ahead, shrieking out their battle cries as they gallop along with Jorah and our favoritest direwolf of them all. Oh man, I really hope Ghost doesn’t bite it in this battle! Jon and Dany watch from a hillside as the Dothraki advance in one huge fiery mass.

We still can’t see any White Walkers or Army of Dead in the dark. The Unsullied release their trebuchets and blazing boulders launch over the advancing Dothraki into the void. Everybody at Winterfell watches on in suspense. As the boulders land, and the Dothraki meet their enemy, however, the fires are snuffed out one by one. A few shouts are heard in the distance as the darkness swallows up every last flame. Oh crap!

As the fighters outside Winterfell stand in shock, we hear horses whinnying and retreating in the dark. Dothraki run toward Winterfell on foot. Suddenly, Jorah gallops past – a vague look of shock on his cut face. He rides past all the men standing ready to fight and looks Tormund straight in the eye. Holy moly, y’all. What the heck is out there and how are they going to fight whatever is coming if fire can’t even hurt the Dead? The men on the ground steel themselves as creepy non-human sounds come at them from the distance. Omigod, omigod, omigod, I can’t handle it.

From the hill, Dany starts for her dragon. Jon stops her and says, “The Night King is coming.” Um, don’t you remember the plan to protect, Bran? Dany shoots back defiantly, “The Dead are already here.” She mounts Drogon.

Back on the ground, our protagonists brace themselves for what’s coming. Grey Worm dons his helmet. It’s go time! As the creepy sounds get closer, the Unsullied hold their spears at the ready and suddenly a massive sea of dead soldiers steamroll them. If you’ve ever seen World War Z, this is it. It’s like a gazillion ants overrunning everything. Only instead of ants, it’s a bunch of nasty resurrected dead people coming so fast and in numbers so immense that it’s an ocean of wights washing over the soldiers outside Winterfell. I can’t even keep track of who’s fighting who – it’s a huge terrible massacre. We see a few shots of all our fan faves and at one point Jaime helps save Brienne from a few snow zombies.

All of a sudden a jet of fire rains down – it’s Daenerys on Drogon, torching a bunch of the undead. Huzzah! And a second later we see another fire stream – Jon and Rhaegal for the assist! Gee, I hope nothing is happening to Bran in the Godswood right now. Truly, though, it’s the right call, and with the fire power of the two dragons, our people on the ground at least stand a better chance at survival. Jon sees the Army of Dead and White Walkers further off in the distance and steers his dragon toward them. But as Rhaegal approaches, a giant snow blizzard engulfs them. He can barely see anything, but manages to shoot off another fire stream onto the Dead below.

On the ramparts, Arya turns to Sansa and orders her to the crypts. When Sansa scoffs that she doesn’t want to abandon her people, Arya insists she leave and hands her a dragonglass dagger. When Sansa protests that she doesn’t know how to use it, Arya states “Stick ‘em with the pointy end.” Yaaaaaassss, love the callback!

Back on the battlefield, the blizzard has hit the fighters. It’s terribly disorienting, but our fan faves duke it out with the snow zombies. Sam falls to the ground during an attack and Edd helps him up, only to get stabbed through the back of the head. Noooo! RIP, Edd! Sam turns and runs.

Meanwhile, Sansa descends into the crypts. “Ok, girl, just remember to be super chill when you see everybody and don’t let them know we are all completely effed.” As she approaches the women and children, she keeps a calm, cool demeanor. Ya know what, Sansa’s chill factor is crazy impressive. Remember the battle at Blackwater? This gal knows how to lock it down and keep everybody else from panicking. She shoots Tyrion a lowkey “We are screwed” look and he chugs some wine from his flask. Hey, I’ll take whatever comedic relief I can get at this point. There isn’t a lot of dialogue in this episode, and I gotta say the silent moments are on point! Well done, thespians!

In the skies, Jon attempts to navigate his way through the blizzard on Rhaegal but suddenly another dragon bodychecks them – it’s Daenerys on Drogon. Whoopsies! They can barely see anything in this storm. Both of them regain their hold and they see hordes of Dead continuing to advance on Winterfell.

On the ground, Tormund and Brienne instruct the fighters to fall back and Grey Worm commands the Unsullied to protect the retreating Northerners. Lyanna Mormont has her men open the gates to them and they file in. Hey, would you look at that! Other than Edd, all our peeps are still alive! Knock on wood!

Jon steers Rhaegal toward the Godswood, while Bran and the Greyjoy gang wait in the eerily quiet enclosure. The dragon perches on one of the nearby walls.

During the retreat, Arya shoots a lit arrow from the ramparts just past the Hound’s head, saving him from a zombie. Nice shot! Some of the Unsullied pile into Winterfell, while another group holds off the Army of Dead. Grey Worm stands outside the gates and calls out to Davos to give the signal to set the trenches on fire. Davos raises two torches in the air – this is the clear sign for Daenerys to swoop down with her dragon, only…she doesn’t see it on account of that pesky blizzard. Ugh, no! The Army of Dead are almost at the gates. The archers attempt to light the trenches but their arrows flame out almost immediately.

Grey Worm notices Melisandre nearby and gets a team of Unsullied to protect her so she can help out. She lays her hands on the trenches and, again, does some incantations. Nothing happens. She continues. The Army of Dead get closer and closer. Nothing. She keeps on keeping on and just as a snow zombie comes careening at her, the trenches go up in flames, keeping the Dead at bay while the rest of the living retreat inside the walls of Winterfell.

From above, Daenerys sees the trenches and realizes she missed the signal. Drogon glides past the snow zombies and blasts another stream of fire on the Dead. Ok, timeout here: Why doesn’t Dany just go full Zamboni here and torch them all in one nice continuous line back and forth instead of just a solitary stream here and there? I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t understand the complexities of dragon-keeping, or their diets, and the rock-solid science that goes into their ability to breathe fire, but I’m really feeling that both Jon and Dany’s dragons could be doing a much more efficient job at wiping out way more snow zombies than they currently are.

In the super safe crypts below, Tyrion argues that he should be above ground as there may be some important thing, which nobody else might have noticed, that might make a difference. Sansa dismisses his remarks, stating that he would die. Being realistic about that fact is the bravest thing any of them can do right now. There’s a brief lighthearted moment as Tyrion muses that he and Sansa should have stayed married. She agrees he was the best of them all, but things would never work out between them because of their conflicting loyalties – he supports Daenerys, and she supports the free North. I’ve been thinking for a while now that these two will end up together on the Iron Throne at the very end. Might this moment be paving the way for that possibility?

Theon and his men stand alert in the Godswood with Bran sitting under his beloved Weirwood tree. With the trenches lit, Theon knows their time is running out. He attempts to apologize to Bran for all the crappy things he did back when he tried to take Winterfell for his own, but Bran stops him and explains that everything Theon has done has lead him to where he is now – home. Awwww, Bran, even though you’re completely devoid of emotion, you still know all the right words to say! I’m thinking there’s a Hallmark greeting card career in this one’s future. Or, also…death. Maybe. Then Bran is all “M’kay, things are getting pretty real now, so, I’m gonna go.” His eyes turn white and he’s off in Wargyland. We see some ravens perched in a tree and their eyes go white. They fly over Winterfell and the battle between the living and the dead. As they soar up, up, up, they see: The Night King flying on Viserion. He stretches his arm down to the ground and…

The snow zombies all stand motionless outside the burning trenches, but suddenly one solitary zombie walks straight into the fire. Then another. And another. Until they have made a little pathway for all the other zombies to walk over them and descend upon the Winterfell walls. Why is this happening?! Davos rallies the troops to man the walls. Once again in World War Z fashion, the Army of Dead start to pile up onto each other to scale the wall. Nooooo, this is looking really bad for all the good guys inside the castle. Please tell me there is an army of Fire Priestesses coming to save the day. Or Nymeria and her ginormous wolf pack. Or anything, really, because this is absolutely freaking me out. Jon is watches everything from his dragon perch, and as he looks up, he sees the Night King and decides to fly after him. Great, I’m sure this will go off without a hitch.

On the walls, we see all our beloved warriors – they are still alive, you guys! I’m happy but I’m real scared for them. Jaime, Brienne, Gendry, Tormund, Beric, the Hound, Sam and Jorah all give the snow zombies a good fight, but the sheer volume of Dead is insane, and of course, more and more make it over the wall.

The whole scene inside Winterfell is pure chaos. There’s fire and death everywhere and the Hound is huddled against a wall suffering a panic attack. We finally see Arya in action and it’s bee-you-tee-ful! She fights off wights like it’s an art form, while Davos looks on with awe and respect.

Beric tries to rally the Hound, who has lost all hope and exclaims “You can’t fight death!” Just then, Arya bounds over a wall, slaying snow zombies like a boss and darts off inside Winterfell castle. “Tell that to her,” says Beric. This manages to get the Hound back into the game – they run after her.

With a terrifying crash, a snow zombie giant bursts through the Winterfell gate, swinging his club everywhere. He hits Lyanna Mormont who flies through the air like a rag doll. As the giant continues to pummel anybody in a 20 foot radius, Lyanna musters the strength to get back up on her feet and runs at him with a primal scream – battle axe in hand. The giant wight picks her up with one hand and crushes her bones. Ew, so gross…poor Lyanna! He lifts her to his face and she gets a look at his nasty mouth and rotting teeth just before she plunges her dragonglass axe straight into his glowing blue eye, killing him. Oh, man, RIP Lyanna Mormont, you badass, you! A hero to the end – I love her!

In the skies above the Godswood, Jon and Dany hover on their dragons, when the Night King appears out of nowhere on his zombie dragon. Viserion blasts a stream of blue dragon fire at Dany and Drogon. In the attack, Rhaegal falls in a tailspin with Jon holding on for dear life. Meanwhile, Drogon darts upward, trying to avoid the dragon fire and Dany clutches on to him – lucky for her, dragon fire don’t hurt! Or does it? Just as quickly as he appeared, the Night King vanishes and Dany and Jon regain control of their dragons.

Arya makes her way into the Winterfell library – wait, Winterfell has a library?! A few wights are wandering around aimlessly. It’s an excruciatingly suspenseful scene as Arya froggers her way from one stack to the next, expertly avoiding the snow zombies at every turn, until she finally makes it to the other side of the room and out the door. Gotta say, I’m not really sure why she’s inside and where she is heading, but it’s still a cool scene. When she closes the library door behind her, however, she hears more wights and a few burst through a different door nearby. She fights them off and races through a bunch of corridors.

We get a quick view into the crypts – the women and children can hear terrified screams and bumps up the stairs, but they are still safe. For now.

Elsewhere inside the castle, Beric and the Hound cautiously make their way through the maze of passageways. A door bursts open and Arya thuds to the ground on her back, trying to kill the snow zombie on top of her. Beric saves her life and fights off the next round of wights, while the Hound ushers Arya down another hallway. Even more of the Dead come and Beric valiantly holds them off, sacrificing himself as a human barrier in the hallway. Arya and the Hound duck into a room, and a critically injured Beric follows them and collapses to the floor as they bar the door. Arya crouches next to Beric as his last breath escapes his chest and his eyes go dead.

Oh hey, looks who’s also here in the room! It’s Melisandre. She tells Arya the Lord of Light brought Beric back for a purpose, and that purpose has been served. Arya turns to the Red Woman and goes “Hey, I know you. You made lots of freaky predictions for me, and you were right about them. Like how we’d meet again and how I’d kill a bunch of people.” -“And here we are. I also told you that you’d close a lot of eyes forever: brown eyes, green eyes…and blue eyes.” The wights claw and pound at the door. Melisandre leans into Arya and says “What do we say to the god of death?” Arya stares at the door and replies “Not today.” She takes a moment and then runs off.

In the Godswood, Theon and his crew defend Bran from tons of snow zombies and they are doing a pretty good job. And what’s Bran doing? Still warging, but we don’t know what he’s seeing, so one can only presume that he is watching all the series finales of Lost, The Sopranos, Dexter and Seinfeld and taking notes on what not to do.

The Night King is in full destruction mode and has his dragon blast a huge hole in one of the Winterfell turrets. Jon is right on his tail and we have a mid-air dragon fight between Rhaegal and Viserion. Dany is close by and sees the Night King fall off his dragon. Jon’s dragon, meanwhile sustains some injuries in the fight and ends up crash landing – Jon is thrown off into the snow during the crash. Jorah, who is fighting in the courtyard, looks up when he hears a dragon’s distressed cry. Is his Khaleesi in trouble?

Daenerys spies the Night King on the ground. It’s time to dracarys the crap out of this mofo! Drogon blasts out a long stream of fire and the Night King is engulfed in flames.

Jon is nearby and stumbles toward the inferno. But as the fire subsides and the flames die down we see: the Night King stands there unharmed. He glares at Daenerys, and then he gives her a winning smirk and pulls back his spear arm. Daenerys acts fast and gets her dragon airborne just in time for the spear to miss them. Question…might the Night King be a Targaryen and this is why he doesn’t burn?

The Night King walks toward Winterfell and Jon runs after him. Night King stops, turns to look at Jon and goes “Hey, bro, wanna see my fun parlor trick again?” He raises his arms and we all know what’s coming. The dead are all being resurrected! Noooo! Fallen bodies rise everywhere: the battle field, the Winterfell courtyard, and of course also…the crypts, and we see the Night King’s lieutenants walk through the Winterfell gates. Meep! The Night King gives Jon a “That’ll keep ya busy for a while” look and turns to leave. I’m officially losing all hope here.

Back in the Godswood, Theon and his guys still fight off the baddies while Bran is…still warging!!! Omg, Bran, seriously? He better be seeing something really great and have figured out some fantastic way to kill the Night King. But ya know what? We just don’t know, because we don’t get to see any of it.

Surrounded by a fresh Army of Dead, Jon looks about done for, but Dany swoops in to save him and torches a bunch of snow zombies. Well, that’s a good sign, considering the tense moment they shared before the fighting began. Jon yells to Dany “Bran!” and she tells him to go save him while she handles the wights on the ground. In a matter of seconds, a bunch of snow zombies have jumped atop of Drogon and the dragon takes to the sky to shake them off – and Daenerys falls off. Great. She is surrounded by wights and just as an undead zombie is about to strike, its head is chopped off by: Ser Jorah Mormont for the win!!! Wooooot! He fights off more wights and Dany picks up a sword – they back up to each other, ready to take on more of the dead.

Jon battles his way through the gates and in the courtyard he sees his friends fighting for their lives – overpowered by the mass of undead that are attacking them. Sam is on the ground and Jon just keeps running. Brienne is also struggling. It’s all completely hopeless.

In the Godswood, Theon is out of arrows. He and his men continue to put up a brave fight, while Bran is still off on his warging vacation. DUDE!!! Can you please for the love of the Old Gods and the New figure out a way to help everybody?

The crypts aren’t looking any better, what with all the dead Stark skeletons attacking everybody. Sansa and Tyrion hide behind a grave and have a long wordless exchange as they look at each other, accepting that these may be their last few moments alive.

A haunting melancholy song starts to play over all the following scenes:

Sansa pulls out the dagger Arya gave her, and Tyrion kisses her hand before they both leave their hiding place and run to…I don’t know…commit suicide in once last heroic act to kill as many wights as they can before they go down?

The music continues and we get snippets of all our heroes in great peril. Jon makes his way through the courtyard on his mission to get to Bran, but the ice dragon, Viserion, is in his path, spewing his fiery blue stream everywhere, and Jon keeps having to retreat for cover.

Jorah and Dany continue to fight off snow zombies.

The crypts are a mess, but Sansa and Tyrion have managed to find a safe alcove with Varys and a few others.

Jon keeps attempting to advance toward the Godswood but the dragon stops him at every turn.

Theon shows some mad fighting skills, and it’s really a nice redeeming moment to see him working so hard to protect Bran. He battles the last of his attackers, when looky here…in slow motion to the haunting melody, we see the Night King and his White Walker entourage saunter into the Godswood.

There’s one last shot of all our brave men and women in the courtyard – Jaime, Podrick, Grey Worm, Brienne, Tormund, Sam – they are all completely screwed, fighting off zombies with a snowball’s chance of survival. I do not like this one bit.

In the Godswood, Theon puts up a final fight and kicks snow zombie butt like a boss till none are standing. Finally Bran’s white eyes flicker back to consciousness. “Oh hai, y’all! Did I miss anything?” Great timing, Bran. I hope you have an ace up your sleeve. Bran looks at Theon and in a far off voice tells him “Theon, you’re a good man. Thank you.”

Theon casts one last glance at Bran, then grabs a spear and runs headlong at the Night King who stands there cool as a cucumber. Seeing how it’s all in slow mo, it takes a good while and all I can think is “Oh, dude, there’s just no way.” Sure enough, at the moment he is within reach, Night King grabs his spear, and impales Theon Greyjoy. Ya know what, I gave Theon a lot of flack throughout the series, but this episode he really came through as a brave warrior and got the absolution from Bran that he has so craved. I am just a teary mess at this point.

Again, we get lots of cutaways to all the other peeps who are pretty much about to bite it – including Jorah who takes some gnarly hits as he continues to protect Daenerys. Jon rises from his place of cover, looks at Viserion and screams at him while the dragon hocks up a nice big fireball loogie to spew at him. Really, Jon? That’s how you’re gonna go out?

The Night King walks slowly to Bran who looks up at him like “You wouldn’t hurt a guy in a wheelchair, would you?” Ok, actually, Bran looks as vacant as ever, ready to accept whatever fate has in store for him. He glances at the snow sword the Night King has on his back like “Soooo…you gonna use that on me bro?” Night King looks back like “Oh, you like this? Let me introduce the two of you.” This music is killing me, people. It’s the saddest tune ever. Night King reaches back behind his shoulder and BOOM, out of nowhere Arya flies through the sky behind him, her catspaw dagger clutched in her hand. But the Night King spins around and grabs her mid-air by the throat. She drops the dagger and it falls in slow motion…and then...Arya catches it with her other hand and with one fell thrust, sticks him with the pointy end right in his icy belly. OH. MY. STARS. The Night King immediately shatters. In a chain reaction, all his White Walker lieutenants, the snow zombies, and his ice dragon, crumble to the ground. Arya lands like the boss queen that she is and instantly achieves GOAT status in all of Westeros.

We get a view of our faves again – Ser Jorah collapses. Jon is alive. All the important people from the crypts are alive, and Arya and Bran stand alone in the quiet Godswood, corpses littering the snow.

Danerys holds Jorah, sobbing, and he dies in her arms. Nooooo! RIP Ser Jorah! This awesome friendzone 4eva warrior died protecting his Khaleesi, and that’s pretty much the only way he would want to go out, but it breaks my heart nonetheless. As Dany cries and cradles him, Drogon swoops down beside his dragon mama and protectively covers her with his wing. Awww, Drogon, that is sweet, but also: Where the hell were you like 10 minutes ago, hmmm?! It does NOT take that long to shake off a few undead snow zombies.

The Hound and Melisandre emerge into the outdoors. Melisandre keeps walking, past the dead, through the gates of Winterfell. Davos watches as she walks into the sunrise. She lets her cloak fall to the ground. As she walks through the battlefield, she removes her ruby necklace and drops it in the snow. We only see the back of her as she continues on. Her hair turns white and her walk becomes stilted. Finally she collapses with an air of release and exhaustion and the wind carries away a wisp of dust where she lays. Gurl, I feel ya. Aaaand roll credits.

Whuuuuuut just happened??? This was such an incredibly tense episode and it had me tied in knots, but honestly, that ending had me feeling major disappointment in terms of the end of the Night King and the Long Night and everything – it’s all over, just like that, and now we’re just back to the petty business of getting Cersei off the throne? Yes, it was a good and very suspenseful episode, but I had a lot of expectations that were not met.

Part of that may be because I was reading so many theories that had to do with the prophecies around Azor Ahai and Lightbringer that are mentioned in the books, so maybe that’s my bad. And I thought Jaime would play a much bigger role than just fighting next to Brienne. Especially after Jaime’s chat with Bran the previous episode.

Mostly, I’m bummed that the Dead storyline is dunzo, because I felt there was a lot of mythology around the Night King and the White Walkers and the Children of the Forest, and the Three Eyed Raven that we didn’t get much information on. Why did the Night King decide to take over the world now? Who was he as a human? If White Walkers were defeated 1,000 years ago, how did they come back? What about Night King’s ability to transform babies into White Walkers, and yet we don’t see any White Walker nursemaids anywhere? Who is raising the White Walker toddlers, people??? Well, it’s all moot now, but I’d still like to have known.

What about all the fire priestesses who have been rallying for Dany in Essos? And what did Melisandre do while she was away - I assumed she’d be gathering her squad and coming up with a much better game plan than “I’m gonna light a few useless things on fire”. Ok, she did give Arya that last pep talk to send her on her way, but really, that was her big contribution and it seemed lacking overall. Why didn’t we get to see what Bran was doing while he was warging the whole time? I wanted flashbacks! I wanted him to accidentally pull a Hodor on the Mad King and be the reason the king went mad - all while Bran was digging in the past, trying to figure out a way to kill the White Walkers AND then go even further back in time and build the Wall...and all the other crazy theories I’ve read. I wanted Tyrion to surprise everybody and be like “Guess what, I still have a Wildfire contact and I got us some secret sauce to kill the White Walkers”.

And then there is Nymeria and her giant wolf pack - I thought they’d show up and kill some wights. Also: Are the Reeds (Meera and her dad, Howlan) just totally MIA, even though all the Northern bannermen were called to help Winterfell? I feel like they would have shown up to help. Also, the show was making a really big deal out of the crypts in the GOT Season 8 trailers - they have gone to the trouble to include them in the credits. There has to be more to the crypts than just everybody hiding there in this episode, and having the dead come back to life, right? I hope so.

I will give credit to the good parts that I really loved – like Arya’s badassery and her saving the day by the Weirwood tree where Bran gave her the catspaw dagger to begin with. That same dagger, which was used in the assassination attempt of little Bran. In a way – just as Littlefinger mentioned - that dagger did start a chain of events that led all the Starks to where they were today, with the skills they’ve acquired to help rid their world of this one huge threat to humanity. It’s poetic and I appreciate that. And I really enjoyed the Sansa and Tyrion moments. Those two are totes gonna get together, and I really do think the way things will shake out, we’ll see them on the throne at the very end. But, I guess I’m just sad that in the end the huge threat of the White Walkers seems like it was simply a red herring side plot and now we’re back to business as usual.

It seems really unfair that this huge epic event took place and the only people who know about it are the Northerners. It didn’t affect anybody else in Westeros, and yet it is the most important thing that happened, because if the good guys had failed, it would have rendered everybody else in Westeros dead – and I feel like they will get no love or appreciation from anybody for that. I just felt like the war against the White Walkers was such a big thing and instead it’s just all “Meh, they’re gone. Next chapter!” I mean…what purpose will Bran serve now?

And while it is, of course, sad to see Dolorous Edd, Beric Dondarrion, Lyanna Mormont and Theon Greyjoy die, it’s kind of small potatoes. The only death that was super impactful was that of Ser Jorah Mormont, because the other characters were likable yet minor when you look at emotional stakes for the viewer. It just doesn’t seem very Game of Thrones-y to not lose some huge players. Can the whole remaining Stark family really survive the rest of the series? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy all our fan faves are still doing well, but I expected to feel much more gutted by this episode. Maybe they are just saving their deaths for the next few episodes. Double meep! Omigoodness, I just realized that I’m sad that the writers didn’t emotionally flay me. What the heck have you done to me, GOT?!

Anyway, I’ve had a few days to process it all and have come to terms with the fact that the whole Long Night, “Winter is Here” plot which had so much mystery, prophecy and cool potential, just ain’t happening anymore. It is, after all, called Game of Thrones and not Game of Surviving the Freaky Deaky Undead Weirdos, so I’m coming around to the fact that our heroes are now going to focus on who’ll be on the Iron Throne. I just…hate Cersei and don’t want to see her stupid face anymore. I’m kinda hoping there is a secret passageway from Winterfell to the Red Keep and Arya can just go to Cersei, disguised as Jaime and kill her already. Ok, those are all my thoughts for now. I’ll see ya here next week!

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