#then there's the thing where...sometimes stuff i agree is objectively 'problematic' is the stuff that speaks most strongly to me!

[ephemeral-dreamer]

So, as one does, I’ve been thinking about smut.

Specifically about its quality

If anyone doesn’t want to read this, wether because they don’t care or because they feel like this might trigger them. That's fine I’m gonna put all my thoughts especially the explicit stuff under the Read More button

I don’t really have a conclusion… This is just a bunch of thoughts about writing and how sometimes a thing that is objectively worse can better fulfil the needs of the moment… and how even objectively bad art still has its place

So I kinda want to preface this with the fact that I’m somewhere on the Ace spectrum.

I’ve never had sex, I’ve been on zero dates and have no interest in changing that anytime soon.

Still I like to masturbate and I read and watch a lot of hentai as well as smutty fanfiction and original fiction. 

I’ve seen a lot of arguments in favour of smut talk about how the presence of sex doesn’t suddenly lower the quality of the work and I wholeheartedly agree.

Some of the best stories I’ve read are incredibly horny.

Still I’ve also noticed that when it comes specfically to smut I actually prefer less well written stories.

Obviously I’m not talking about it being badly written in terms of grammar and spelling but in terms of plot and characteristics.

This is probably compounded by the fact that a lot of the smut I enjoy is heavily about Non-con/Rape. Not all of it… but enough that it actually worries me sometimes.

A well written rape story can be extremely powerful and moving…. But it doesn’t really turn me on… or at least it makes me uncomfortable. There’s been times when I’ve had to stop reading certain stories because it became clear that its characters were becoming too real for me.

Meanwhile if the characters are clearly cliches and obviously not real that makes the entire process a lot more enjoyable.

And yeah a story where a girl raped and proceeds to be ‘defeated’ by a cock and start to enjoy it is all kinds of problematic but it’s also very obviously fake and there’s a reassurance in that.

Obviously there is room for all kinds of stories and I understand that my perception is only that. My perception.

I sincerely believe that we need more realistic, well written smut in our media consumption. And I understand that if someone’s entire smut consumption is only of the unrealistic, badly written variety that could lead to problems especially if you add toxic masculinity as well as a lack of sex education to the issue.

But I just want to make the argument that even objectively badly written stories have their place and provide a service that only they can.

#smut #fanfiction #adult work #rape #non-con #literature #writing

[kingmystrie]

Proship Discourse

I'm not going to identify with any title because that would be making it part of my identity and that's stupid.

FYI I'm going under the assumption that people actually tag their stuf because most of the discourse ive seen doesnt even consider whether or not something is tagged/goes under the assumption things are tagged. I dont think anyone should be accused of having a paraphilia or being a bad person for writing fics or wanting ships involving problematic stuff. There's a ton of reasons someone might write or draw something without it being that someone has personal interest in actually doing something problematic. Like someone could have been a victim and is trying to process what happened in a fantasy setting where they can't be harmed in the real world. Or maybe it's the imagination equivalent of an artist drawing gore art for a cathartic release. Some people seek out that content for the same reason. I understand why people want to censor certain works or de platform certain creators. I know that works with iffy/problematic media often get used by unsavory figures in order to groom others into being more accepting of doing gross shit. In an ideal world, censorship would be an effective method of curbing this. Unfortunately, there is no way we could effectively keep problematic media from getting out, especially not on the internet, and doing so would lead to a big issue on where to draw the line and nobody on earth would agree on where to draw the line.

What's my proposed solution to that problem? How would we counteract the potential harm problematic media could cause without censorship. Well... you criticize that media. It's really that simple you take the problematic thing and explain why you think it's problematic. This is why we have people that review media and such. Contribute by actually contributing to the pool of collective knowledge and human experience on the internet. I'm serious, tell people why you personally think how someone interacts with a ship is problematic and go into detail about it. You don't even need to think for some objective criticism for it you can just say how you feel. If interacting with that kind of stuff makes you highly uncomfortable... then don't. I know it's hard to remember that we have agency sometimes, but you do, you have agency. you don't need to let the algorithm control your life. Block and walk away. You don't need to be everyone's savior you're allowed to just think about yourself. For those of you who are only a little uncomfortable, I'd actually recommend to try to fight through the discomfort to systematically break apart these problematic elements in stuff and voice that opinion for others. Often times having a second opinion can be incredibly useful for someone who is in a situation where they're being taken advantage of. Be that second opinion. I also think, just generally it's good to learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable because it's the only way to truly reflect on things properly. I can assure you, you can still stay strong to your ethics and morals while observing and criticizing something that is against your ethics morals.

#paraphilia mention #proship discourse #mystrierumble

[calangkoh]

Recently I saw someone say brotherhood was better than 03 because of the stuff that happened to rose and that apparently 03 has p3dophiliain it?? (I'm assuming they were talking about the psiren thing or maybe Dante?? who knows)

I can understand feeling uncomfortable with the rose stuff, but it wasn't shown, just heavily implied. was it necessary? no, but still pretty realistic.

but what really gets me is that bh literally has child trisha meet adult hohenheim and its seen as like this cute moment??

anyways, sorry for ranting in your inbox about this, I know it's kinda a heavy topic and criticizing 03 is valid but not when it's just straight up hypocritical.

if the themes or vibes of 03 make people uncomfortable or depressed or anxious, or if they on the other hand just don't understand that depiction isn't glorification, then it won't be liked. im not gonna defend every narrative choice of 03 as "unproblematic" but most of those "problematic" elements i wouldn't change. i like the way things were presented. but no nothing was perfect and there are lots of things you could argue were necessary or not. you said it yourself with rose. not necessary, but i think the pros outweighed the cons with including her at the end of 03.

but also yeah the psiren episode was a little uncomfortable lmao.

dante on the other hand who i love to talk about even though it's hard to talk about her a lot because of this topic, i wouldn't change. i actually have a lot to say on dante's role in this ask [and as usual i lost sight of the initial topic and just ranted about something tangentially related go figure]....i see her plan as more symbolic than literal, where she was was so deluded by her worldview --she separates herself so much from humanity, looks down on it, isolates herself and considers herself superior, even tho she's ruled by basic human impulses and feelings herself, so used to seeing humans as simply pawns, and yet a huge romantic deep down who was once fueled by love in even her most disgusting actions, and when she's rejected by hohenheim it sends her in a downward spiral. in come ed and rose and dante sees two pawns she can recreate something she had long ago before she became this monster through them. it's not about ed, specifically, it's about wanting to use him and rose to fabricate something she once had. dante comes across as a villainous mastermind, and uh, yeah she is, but, she also is vulnerable and deeply emotional. she just won't confront it directly, and would rather run away and avoid in these contrived ways. it's actually a way she mirrors ed, who also tends to avoid confronting his issues and puts up a tough and rational face as he acts extremely emotional and irrationally.

anyway, not excusing the choice of having dante imply she was gonna fuck ed or defending it as "okay," but the opposite. i agree it was a bad and deeply uncomfortable choice.....and it elevated the character. kinda like how sometimes to develop a character, you paradoxically have to make them act out of character in a certain situation. objectively/on paper, a "bad" choice, but it actually deepens the character and the emotional impact.

back on topic like with the bh moment....idk yeah i thought that framing was weird. honestly you can pick any piece of media apart for problematic elements, scenes like that, and it can be fun. i pick apart brotherhood a lot. just remember there's a difference between thinking critically about media you consume and just looking for any excuse to label something you don't like as "problematic" so you can "cancel" it. this often goes both ways with the 03 vs fmab debate and there's no winning. 03 is problematic, fmab is problematic, im problematic, let's just cancel everything and then nothing will be truly cancelled how bout that. so in all seriousness, i wouldn't give too much weight to people who will be like "oh that piece of media? i dont like it [whether or not ive seen it]. it's problematic."

#ask #meta

[hellboundwitch]

I think it's time for me to talk about Felix S. Warren

aka @da-at-ass, @badoccultadvice, @merkvahpartyvan, @felixswarren, among many other names.

A warning: this is going to be long, because A) everything I write is long, I’m really sorry about myself and 2) I knew him for years and a lot happened during that time. That being said, I'm also not going to cover every single wrong Felix ever did to me and mine, so while this is long, it's also not even close to comprehensive.

In all honesty, I should have said something sooner. Over the past year, I have kept my mouth shut because I was worried that issues about anything I said might be channeled back at my friend Rune, who was already going through enough.

However, my issues with Felix predate his relationship with Rune, much less their breakup. The truth is, I stayed quiet because I’ve been afraid of Felix for years, and when you’re that afraid of someone, your instinct isn’t to post about them all over social media, your instinct is to try and stay under their radar and avoid them at all costs.

Even now, I’m afraid. But at this point I’ve left tumblr, I feel cut off from all of our mutual friends and I know Felix’s behavior well enough to know that he will never stop obsessing over Rune, just like he never stopped obsessing over all of the other villains he’s manufactured in his mind, so I guess I really have nothing to lose by talking about what I personally went through with him and what I've seen him do to others.

If it were just his libelous statements about Rune, that would be bad enough, but it's part of a larger pattern of behavior that I think people need to be warned about before they become his next target.

When Felix and I became friends, I don't think it took very long to notice a few things.

Firstly: EVERYONE he didn't like was a narcissist. He could be very good friends with people for years but then one day when they did something he didn't like? 🎶 It was narcissists all along! 🎶 What are the odds that EVERYONE you meet and don't like is a narcissist? Not that high!

And his predisposition to diagnose everyone he dislikes with a personality disorder is problematic given that SECONDLY: Felix turns against every single person he's friends with at some point.

It was like watching a timer run down every time he interacted with someone. It didn't matter if he knew them in real life, or if he just interacted with them via Skype. Eventually, the effusive praise would give way to constant criticisms, often behind the person's back. With Felix, you could believe you were good friends up until the point where he didn't have any use for you anymore except to play the villain in his latest story. He always has to have a villain, and unfortunately the closer you get to him, the more likely it is that it's going to be you.

And at first, it didn't seem weird. The people he didn't like were I people I didn't like, so if he had something to say, maybe I did too! I did think it was kind of weird that often these were people that he seemed very friendly with in public, but like, sometimes your friends annoy you, or you don't see the need to be cruel or hostile to someone just because you may have some other issues with them. I get that.

Then the people he started talking about started becoming our mutual friends. One by one he moved through our whole friend group, ostracizing each member, and trying to plant seeds in our minds about all of the terrible things those people did to us. And at first? I agreed. Yeah, they WERE annoying. Yeah maybe they did say that stuff or do that thing.

But it didn't stop after the first person. And the reasons seemed to get thinner and thinner until it seemed like he'd just wake up that day and decide that someone was out for no reason at all. Honestly? It was terrifying.

There are so many details about this time and his behavior that I’ve tried to write out here, but just remembering all of it is so triggering that I can’t really even bring myself to talk about them now.

Some of my friends at the time can tell you how often I cried on the phone to them, how worried I was that I would be next.

There stopped being any rhyme or reason that I could see as to who Felix would turn against, and at the time I didn't feel like I could handle it if it were me. Knowing that what was left of the friends Felix had been allowing me to keep would be in a group chat all agreeing that I did whatever horrible thing he decided to accuse me of, whether it really happened or not, was too much for me.

Looking back, I wonder how many of them were scared too, how many of them were agreeing because they didn't want to be next either. At the time, he had me so in thrall that I didn't even think of that. I just felt like I had to do whatever I could to please him and keep him happy with me, or he might decide to ruin my life for fun.

I've personally apologized to at least one of the people involved in that. I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you. I'm sorry that I tried to hide or downplay our continued friendship. I was so worried he would see me as a threat that I didn't act like a good friend and speak out. And I would like to extend that apology to all of our other friends as well because I'm pretty sure by this point I owe it to every single one of you, whether you know it or not.

I’m sure that anyone who thought that I might say something about Felix were expecting most of it to be about Rune. But the truth is that I’ve had issues with Felix since before he and Rune were ever speaking, much less dating.

It’s not that I don’t have any opinions about his treatment of Rune. I mean, his desperation for Rune to be fully under his control (a pattern I had seen him play out with our friends before, attempting to ruin the lives of anyone who got close to the object of his fixation and took away attention that he wanted for himself), and his anger when he couldn’t force Rune to isolate himself from his family and become dependent upon him, not to mention how his narratives about Rune are so obviously inconsistent that the lies within them speak for themselves.

The fact that he would call the cops on a home full of very marginalized people and EVER think that’s a good thing to do, even if he really did believe Rune was being abused? by the way NEVER CALL THE COPS in a domestic abuse situation, like EVER?? Never ever!! You can and WILL get people hurt! Remember kids, ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS and actual abusers will lash out at their victims if you do this!)

It’s my honest opinion at this point that getting close to Felix is dangerous. He’s not a person that you can trust and he’s not someone that it is safe to be around. He will lash out with magic, he will lash out with social manipulation, he will outright lie if it helps paint him as the victim and you as his monster of the week.

If you’re lucky, he’ll stop eventually -- once he has someone else to play these games with and maybe if you disappear completely. And even then, he’s still going to be checking your blog, obsessively googling your name, stalking your friends trying to find you, trying to “check up” on you, trying to keep feeding this twisted thing inside of him.

I have never made a “tumblr callout post”, even though there have been plenty of people who deserved it. And this is maybe this is the one I’ve been most afraid of doing, even now, even though I won’t be around for the fallout of it.

All of my other posts on this blog are gone now and when I publish this, I’ll be logging out of this account and I don’t plan to come back. I kind of hate that it has to be like this, but I don’t see any other way I can feel safe talking about this stuff, and I just can’t be silent any longer.

#pagan #witchcraft #witchblr #witches of tumblr #felix warren

[shinyflareon]

Dude I so agree with you about fandom culture. I think now days, people are too worried about purity culture and being so overly critical, that they forgot to just have fun and maybe explore a little bit of themselves while theyre at it. Looking back, there certainly were problems and discourses but at least we all had fun and just put our content out there without worrying that we'd be called this or that terrible term or sent death threats for god forbid exploring sth nuanced in fiction

For sure! By and large, we were all just dumb kids having a good time, coming into our own independence alongside an internet in its infancy and reveling in the anonymity that our newfound freedom provided. Like, there was some pretty awful stuff that got passed around fandom culture back then! But stuff like Pedobear was regarded as a harmless, if occasionally annoying, meme. Can you imagine if something like that were to emerge today?

But with all those problematic elements - the crass memes and the weebing and the yaoi fangirl-ing (to the point of hating female characters for "getting in the way of teh yaoiz!", sometimes to the point of killing them off! horribly!) - came a revelry and joy in fandom that I can't say I've ever really observed since. Fandom in general became such a cultural touchstone because we were all, collectively, in some way participating in it. It didn't really matter what a person's specific fandom was, because everyone was part of a fandom, and with that came an explosion of art, writing, cosplay, and just general creativity, and the bonding that happened online spilled over into physical spaces like conventions where people who otherwise would never have met could not only do so, but do so happily.

We all knew that our shows, games, whatever, they weren't perfect. That was half the reason we started creating fan works in the first place - to "fix" the "problems" (usually the aforementioned lack of teh yaoiz) that we had with the canon. But we still took joy in them, in the worlds and characters that they gave us, and so we went forth and created.

Now, since we've grown up and new generations have taken up the mantles that we passed down to them, things have gotten a lot more hostile. Creativity has become competition - if you're not good enough, then what's the point? You'll never get noticed, and it doesn't matter anyway. They know more about each other than we ever did, but are more divided than we ever were. Our camaraderie became their battlefield. They've forgotten that there were trolls under those bridges we built, and have instead decided that instead of just not being fed, they should go on righteous, chivalrous quests to slay the evil trolls for good. But the thing is, no one wants to return from a quest empty-handed. So you start finding evil everywhere you look, until that "evil" is just someone who says "I don't headcanon [character x] as [having trait y]."

In that vein, "headcanon" itself seems to have become a dirty word! It's not "my interpretation of the story," it's "the only valid interpretation of the story and if yours doesn't align perfectly with mine then obviously you're a horrible, terrible person, because mine is objectively correct!" I noticed this a lot when I first became aware of "kins" - people got so attached to a character and their headcanons about them that they stopped calling them headcanons and just claimed that they were that character but in "their reality" their headcanons were actual canon, and got incredibly defensive of people from "other realities."

And since it's so easy for everyone to find each other now, people drunk on righteous fury and hungry to - as we would've put it - "win the internet" actively hunt each other down, seemingly for sport, and can find each other's real identities and info with horrifying ease. Fandom is legit terrifying now! Some kid with a keyboard who knows way more about computers than you ever will can blast your private info for everyone to see over the barest slight, all to crow about how terrible you are and preen about how good they are by comparison for exposing you. And the bigger their target, the bigger the victory, which I suspect is partially why some people have gotten bold enough to go after the actual people who make the thing that they're claiming to be a fan of.

There are probably a lot of people who can and have say this all way more eloquently than I could ever hope to, and there's probably a whole hell of a lot I'm either glossing over or straight up missing. I'm sure I could get accused of just wearing rose-tinted nostalgia goggles. But the differences between early fandom culture and modern fandom culture are pretty distressing, even from the outside. I don't really know what to do with this distress but to remember the wise words I was once taught: don't feed the trolls, never give out personal information, don't like, don't read.

#I guess I kinda wrote the essay anyway oops

[enternalempires]

Those Eyes

This is a Ladynoir/Adrienette fic. It has switched Miraculous and a reveal and Marinette purring, lol. Lots of fluff. Hope you enjoy! Haven’t figured out how to use links yet but my Ao3 username is the same!

We all know that Plagg with Marinette would be chaotic as all hell, like she’d mention a very very bad course of action that would have us all going ‘second-hand embarrassment, no!!’ but that sarcastic little shit of a Kwami would be like, “Yes!! Do it!!!” because like, after eons of being alive and literally killing the dinos off along with various other disasters you just learn to not care anymore. And Adrien with Tikki would be chaotic in a different way. They’d be so?? Productive??? Like, they’d agree on so much and just vibe that it would be pure sunshine magic. Like, there’s a reason why they got the humans that they did.

Marinette shrieked, scrambling past a car that was picked up and thrown in her direction— successfully dodging any debris and sharp objects left over from the Akumas wake.

At eighteen years old, she knew better than to take off her earrings.

She knew she shouldn’t have, even if it was Adrien Agreste who asked her to change them out, promising with his life (as she made him do) that they would be safe in his bag. She knew that having a photo shoot with him and she in her original MDC designs shouldn’t have made her heart flutter but it did.

They were modeling together.

God, if the fifteen-year-old her could’ve predicted this, she would’ve melted in her spot.

But she didn’t.

And she also didn’t predict that Hawkmoth would choose absolutely the worst time to put an Akuma out into the streets of Paris, but she wasn’t surprised. Her luck as Ladybug never passed over into her life as Marinette— ruler of clumsiness and bad decisions.

Marinette knew she needed to get back to Tikki, she needed to find her earrings and quickly put them on.

She just didn’t expect to find the car that Adrien’s bag had been in to be completely destroyed with its contents spewed around the street.

Oh, she was screwed.

“Tikki,” She hissed, getting onto her knees and ignoring the glass that stuck into her palms as she shifted through all the now unrecognizable car’s contents. “Tikki, where are you?”

“Oh, this is golden,” A voice cackled from behind her and Marinette whipped around— coming face to face with a tiny black Kwami with glowing green eyes and a long tail. She blinked once, twice, and then noticed the bright silver, almost white ring he was carrying. “You’re Sugercube’s babybug, huh? Oh, loverboy is going to get a kick out of this.”

She gaped, unsure about how to continue.

“Do you have cheese?” He asked, scowling when she shook her head. “Great. What use are you then?”

“Uh…”

This was Chat Noir’s Kwami?

He seemed… completely opposite of Tikki.

“Well, aren’t you going to torture me now?” He asked, floating up to her face— his sardonic tone deepening as he lazily landed in Marinette’s palms as soon as she offered them up to him. “I’m Plagg, by the way. Why did you take the earrings off?”

“Urm, I’m Marinette and Tikki didn’t want me to but I kinda… I had this photoshoot thing that I had to switch them out for. So I did.”

“Oo! A rule breaker! I like you. My human is a goodie-goodie, unless it comes to you. He’s so in love that it’s revolting.”

“Not good at the emotional stuff, huh?”

“Nah, cheese is my love.”

“Oh,” Marinette raised an eyebrow. “Not the tiny goddess that calls you Stinky Socks?”

Giving her an eyeroll, Plagg huffed out, “Can you just say ‘claws out’ already?”

“Is there anything I need to know regarding Chat’s powers?”

“Be careful when you’re jumping around and moving, it’ll look a bit different than usual and you’ll be faster.” His voice was so bored that she couldn’t help but to giggle. “I’m awesome, so you’ll also be able to hear a lot better and see in the dark. Also, people will smell.”

“Excuse me?” Marinette blinked. “Smell?”

“Yep.” The black cat yawned exaggeratingly. “Loverboy says you smell good or whatever. Also, don’t ruin everything.”

For whatever reason, that made her cheeks flush and Plagg laughed, his cackle creating goosebumps to go over her skin.

He felt powerful— like destruction and death and sadness. He felt like he could destroy the whole world, like he could send it into a proverbial darkness, and Marinette was reminded of Paris drowned in water, and the moon cracked in half in the sky.

It was terrifying.

Plagg was terrifying.

Tikki felt light, like home.

Like life and warmth and creation and happiness. Her power was intimidating, it was skin-tight and heavy and weighed down her shoulders with a burden she never wanted but bore anyways.

Marinette wondered how his magic would feel after she transformed and looked around. The destruction still damaged around her, but she was hidden by three toppled over cars and couldn't see anyone through the cracks.

“Plagg,” She slipped the ring onto her middle finger, watching as it turned smaller and shone in a soft sky blue color. “Claws out!”

The power that overwhelmed her made her feel unbalanced, her head swarming like she was twenty feet underwater, the pressure pounding around her in all directions.

Being Ladybug felt suffocating sometimes. It felt like responsibility and trauma walked beside her every day.

But wearing the Black Cat Miraculous?

That felt like drowning.

Like devastation was clinging to her.

How did her kitty deal with this? With feeling demolition wreck havoc through his veins on an almost daily basis?

Ladybug— or well, she couldn’t be ladybug anymore— sucked in a harsh breath and looked around. The world was just… in ruins around her but it was more vivid than anything she experienced. The sun shone on everything brighter, the shadows almost nonexistent and the details— god, she was starting to see why Chat stared so much.

Taking her baton into her hands, the young heroine saw that the silver was the same color that the ring had turned into, a soft sky blue, and noted that in the light it glowed with an azure flicker.

Strange.

Turning around with a flinch as a loud boom followed by multiple screams rang throughout the street, the heroine had full intention to join in on the chaos and to hopefully find Chat— until she caught sight of herself in an upside-down car’s windshield.

She stood there gaping.

Unsure.

What the…

She wasn’t really sure what to expect, maybe an exact replica of Chat’s outfit, maybe her outfit as Ladybug but cat-themed but not… not this.

Her eyes were the same color but brighter, the iris having a deep blue ridge to them and the white part of her eyes were a slightly lighter shade. And her pupils— her pupils are slitted!

Wait.

Does that, does that mean that… that Chat’s eyes are normal now?

Ignoring that thought, she looked at the rest of her.

The suit was still the same black leather that her partner wore but with an azure shine to it. Around her neck, there was a dark blue bow with three loops made out of what seemed to be a soft and a baby blue bell in the middle.

Around her waist was the same blue ribbon that wrapped around her twice and then swished around her hips and extended towards her ankles in her ‘tail’.

Tail.

She had a tail.

Her eyes flew back up to her hair and her hands instantly shot up to her ears— leather ears exactly like Chat’s but they had light blue tips. They flicked and she felt it. She grabbed them with her hands and she squeaked.

How does he live like this?!

Instead of her pigtails, her hair was down to her shoulders with two thin ribbons going down to her shoulders. Her bangs were still present but the little hairs that used to frame her face on either side of her head and in front of her ears were now three curved whisks of hair that almost made her think they were supposed to resemble whiskers.

Her hands had claws, her wrists had ribbons and a small bow on them, as did her ankles— and her feet were shaped into paws!

Hopping on one foot, she saw the ‘toe beans’ on the bottom of her sole and squeaked rather loudly again.

She was a cat— a cat!

Her panicking came to an end when the car she was looking at herself was suddenly picked up and— thrown at her.

She heard it moving before she saw it, her ears perking up and dragging forward, her body leaping out of the way as the tension in her body raised. She sensed it coming towards her, somehow being able to feel the immediate area around her— she couldn’t stop observing it all.

Oh. Oh. It all makes sense now.

How Chat was always able to see the Akuma or any objects that were about to hit her before she did.

That and she could get so stuck in her head so much that it could be problematic.

Like now, for example.

The Akuma— a giant doll version of Reflekdoll, poor Juleka probably got akumatized again— was throwing things at her and, well, she tried her best to dodge, using her baton and newfound speed and agility to avoid being dangerously squished.

Unfortunately, she was rather clumsy with her new suit and powers.

She tried to listen to what Plagg had said, to be careful, and to be slower but she couldn’t. She never got hit by cars or building debris or the giant doll's hands but she flinched at her roars of rage and collided with building edges or other things she underestimated her own ability to stop with.

It would be so much easier if she had her yoyo or her wings to help guide her.

Where was her Chaton when she needed him?

Across town in a shady alleyway, Adrien Agreste was smiling brightly at the tiny red and black Kwami who was giving him a soft smile of her own— blue, almost purple eyes twinkling.

“I can tell why my babybug likes you so much,” Tikki said, having found and calmly explained the situation to the blond who she found calling out for Plagg mere minutes before. “You’re very polite and sweet, Stink Socks probably complains so much!”

“Thanks,” Adrien flushed slightly, wondering if he heard the miniature goddess correctly when she said that her Babybug, Ladybug by omission, liked him. “He’s not too bad as long as I give him enough camembert.

“Him and his cheese,” Tikki rolled her eyes before focusing them back on him, her smile turning encouraging. “I’m sure Plagg has found M— Ladybug by now. All you have to do is say ‘spots on’. I’m positive you’ll be able to handle it, Adrien! You’ve proven to be an amazing Chat Noir, I’m sure you’ll be an amazing Ladybug as well!”

“You’re… nothing like Plagg.”

“I know,” The Kwami giggles and strangely enough it reminds him of his lady’s giggles— that is until a loud shattering boom went through the air and shook the ground around them and a flash of black and blue went past the alley. “Ready?”

“Not really, but I’ll do my best!” Adrien gave a nervous chuckle and then took the earrings into his palms, then turning a darker sheen of red then what the black glowed with originally and the part of them that would go into the holes turned into cuffs.

When he put them on, he tugged, delighted in the way they were tight enough to never fall off unless physically torn from his ears.

“Alright, Tikki, spots on!”

Adrien didn’t expect the warmth that encased him.

Usually, the magic that he got from Plagg felt cold and secure, like a protective darkness hiding him from the loneliness, giving him the freedom to run through the night without fear of the isolation waiting for him at home.

Tikki’s magic felt heavy, like burning alive— and suddenly he understood the burden that had been placed onto his lady’s shoulders and the strictness in her eyes.

There was no room for mistakes.

The world was in her palms, she had become Atlas at thirteen and never complained once. She had taken up the mantle with wariness and a proud stance and she held it so tightly that she never dropped it once.

He sucked in a breath, almost doubling over with the weight of it all.

Ladybug— for five years— felt this unyielding responsibility? She did this and put up with him, him who teased and goofed around and made mistakes? Him who had admittedly gotten better over time but still flirts and is playful on the field?

How did she deal with that?!

Fortunately, he didn’t have to think long about that being a giant doll stopped at the edge of the alleyway, turned to him as he shuffled back and roared.

He saw his own reflection in the shiny face— a maroon suit with black details and a black mask, his hair the same mess, and the yoyo around his waist. Thick wings were on his back, he could feel them twitch and scuffle as they opened in surprise. Ladybug had wings, he didn’t know why he expected not to.

His eyes were wide and so normal that it took him a second too long to realize they were coming closer.

Because the doll was moving closer, making his reflection do the same.

Why couldn’t he sense it?

Why did everything look so… so familiar? No extra sight, no extra hearing. How did Ladybug do this— how could she fight while being so normal?

God, he always had a lot of respect for her but now he has even more.

Shooting into the air, the yoyo automatically swung in his hand as he used it to volt himself into the sky, having seen his lady do so so many times it was almost second nature. Once he got over the doll, she shrieked in agitation— looking like Reflekdoll— and moved her clanky, large body to try and grab him.

Chat, however, if he could even call himself that anymore, opened his wings with some experimentation and flapped them a couple of times, not expecting the power they held and went so far into the sky that the sight could rival their rendezvous point on the Eiffel tower.

He tried to drift right but ended up volting upside down and catching a large gust of wind that sent him backward, wings snapping painfully straight.

The hero yelped and desperately, yet futility, clawed at the air.

Where was his lady when he needed her?

The young heroine was just thinking she got the hang of how to run across the rooftops with her accelerated speed— having failed and either trip or face-planted into a chimney here or there— but a masculine yelp came from above her and she looked up just in time to see the panicked face of her partner before the deep red-suited boy with long wings crashed into her.

They went flying, both rolling as their bodies tangled together, the cold tiles of the roof underneath them not hurting but definitely not pleasant as they came to a stop a couple of seconds after.

She groaned, feeling his familiar and hard body underneath hers.

She wanted him to be there with her, of course, but that didn’t mean she wanted him to tackle her after being airborne.

“Chat,” She struggles to detangle her arms from around him, his wings crowding them more than the usual present-battle entanglement. She was grateful though for this moment, he was warm and soothing and Tikki’s magic felt like a breath of fresh air. “Why would you—”

Why would you try to fly?

She was going to ask, seeing as that’s most likely how he literally fell out of the sky and onto her but then, then something horrifying happened.

She started to purr.

“Eek!” She shot up, arms painfully pulling out of their spot as she desperately tried to crawl away from her partner. “No, no, no, no—”

“Milady,” Chat’s teasing voice froze her but, unfortunately, made the purring all the much louder and she snapped her eyes up to meet his startlingly normal eyes. “Are you doing that because of me?”

“N-no! No, of course not, that would be, that would be, uh—”

She tried to focus on what she was saying, her lie so obvious, but then that stupid cat put a gentle hand into her hair and started to massage her scalp, petting her so softly that her purrs echoed.

Why did that make her feel so warm inside and why did it feel so good?

“Aw, my little kitten.” Chat cooed out. “So adorable. You’re happy to see me, hm?”

“Hm— ah, n-no.” The heroine leaned into his palm, forgetting about their surroundings as she melted into his touch— that is until a prickling sensation shook her whole body and she heard the faintest scrap of metal against the ground.

Her eyes flew open again and she jerked back into a sitting position, eyes snapping to the right as her hackles raised. Another stupid car was coming right at them! Without much thought, the heroine pushed her partner down onto the opposite side of the roof, rolling down after him just as the vehicle smashed into the building.

Okay.

So this Akuma was the murderous kind.

Not the trap or trick kind.

Nice to know.

“Okay, we have to lure her towards the Seine,” She jumped into her usual serious mode, jumping to her feet and unaware that her tail was swishing behind her. “That way there’s less of those stupid cars to throw. I’m pretty sure everyone is to safety by now but we still don’t want her damaging buildings due to the people inside.”

“Ladybug— er, I mean… what do I call you now?” Chat asked, standing up and stretching his wings, and then almost falling over again due to the wind and some building chunks the muttering Akuma was chucking at them.

“Uh, I don’t know, you pick.” She said half mindlessly, blocking hits for both of them. “It looks like a bigger version of when Juleka got Akumatized but I haven’t seen anything that could be the object and trust me, I’ve been thrown around enough to catch all of her.”

“Bluebell Kitten,” He said, pointing to the bell in the middle of her bow. “And are you okay? Did you have trouble using the baton?”

“No, the baton is easy, it’s the stupid senses thing! How can you focus on anything?” The apparent kitten asked, pointing towards the Eiffel tower. “And for the record, I regret giving you the choice to choose, Scarlet Beetle.”

“Ah, nice name.” He grinned, heeding to her signal, and started to run in that direction. “I don’t know, it just comes naturally. Makes sense it would be overwhelming for you, though. You get no extra senses at all, I don’t know how you fight like this.”

“Quite easily,” Bluebell Kitten quipped. “And just wait until you use my charm, it’ll definitely knock you off your feet.”

“That’s okay,” Scarlet beetle helped her keep the right face and sent her a wink that sent her tail wagging embarrassingly. “It’ll just be another way I fell for you.”

“Whatever.” She rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the smile that made its appearance. “You ready for this, buggy?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, kitten.”

The battle went by with a little struggle— Scarlet Beetle having to help Bluebell Kitten with her speed, showing her the best way to stop or how to adjust her eyes to focus properly on what she was doing and about the new depth perception she had. In return, the bug turned cat helped the still flirty boy fly better, teaching him how to find the right air currents and how to land— but the heroine could tell her partner struggled with the Miraculous.

It was a different kind of struggle than she had with his.

Sure, Plagg’s magic was uncomfortable and too light and just wrong against her skin but Tikki with her kitty? Not a good mix.

He struggled to understand that he couldn’t take any hits for her— that that was the Kitten’s responsibility now.

That, no matter how much he wanted to save her, he couldn’t do anything that would put himself incapacitated or at a greater risk. They could defend each other but he was the last line of defense— they were a team but he mattered more.

He was the only one that could heal those hurt, that could fix things that were broken.

“Minou,” She had sighed out, blue eyes sparring her partner a glance as she distracted and he tried to figure out what his lucky charm meant. “No self-sacrificing today, okay?”

“What do you mean?” Scarlet Beetle had asked, frowning as he spun his yoyo in a circle to block some rumble from hitting him.

“It’s not your job to protect me right now. It’s your job to survive long enough to defeat the Akuma and fix everything.”

“But—”

“No buts. You can’t put yourself at risk, even for me. Understood?”

Begrudgingly, the blond-haired boy nodded and they settled their full attention back into the battle. Within minutes it was done, both of them having used their powers and able to return poor Juleka back to the Couffaine boathouse after fist-bumping and answering Alya’s question when she stormed up to them for a report on the Ladyblog.

The heroine could tell that her poor bug was still upset, having witnessed her take a couple blows that he hadn’t seen coming— being more unattentive than usual and not able to sense as much.

She had broken ribs but still fought by his side.

Broken ribs were nothing compared to what he went through before, she had told herself. He had died before, she wasn’t as unlucky.

“Chaton,” The Kitten grabbed his wrist, stopping him from where they were running on a roof, his earring cuffs beeping letting them know he only had three minutes left, her ring was at four. It had been roughly twenty minutes since they used their powers; more time from being older and getting more powers and mature suits. “I’m sorry that today was bad for you.”

“I’m just… I’m not used to not being able to protect you, milady.” He grumbled with a  pout, crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t like it.”

“It was only for today,” She reminded softly. “And I know how you feel but you just— you have to remind yourself that what happened, how I was hurt, wasn’t your fault. I know you would’ve protected me if you could have. That’s one of the burdens of having the Ladybug Miraculous.”

Scarlet Beetle just frowns at her and she sighs, reaching up a hand to softly cup his cheek.

“It’s okay, Kitty,” She smiles. “I’m fine now, aren’t I?”

“Is this how it’s like for you?” He questions, shiny green eyes flickering between her own. “Feeling helpless? Just watching and unable to save… I was unable to save you. I can’t, I can't do that again—”

Scarlet cuts himself off with a choking sound, hand clenching by his side with tears in his eyes. He trembled slightly and the Kitten felt her ears press flat as she recognized the terror in his eyes.

“Come here,” She holds her arms open, offering a hug and her boy is quick to take the opportunity and wrap himself into her gentle hold. “I know that was a hard fight but you’re not going to lose me, okay? Never. You’re stuck with me now, I’m not going to leave you or get hurt and not be there. I promise.”

“Promise,” He wiggles until his arm is free and holds out his pinky, the action so adorable that she can’t help but to giggle as she lifts her own hand and interwinds her pinky with his.

Beeps echo through the night and Bluebell pulls away, running a hand through Scarlet’s hair to make it even messier. She ruffled the spots his ears would normally be and smiled when the strands fluffed up and stuck up into different angles.

“We have to go, Minou.” She boops his nose. “Meet me in our hotel room tower tonight, we’ll switch back to normal.”

“Okay,” He gives her a goofy smile. “What does Tikki like to eat?”

“Chocolate chip cookies, or just sweets in general. Plagg likes cheese, right?”

“Really! Cookies are so much better than stinky camembert— which I’m guessing he mentioned. Do you, urm, even have that?”

“My dad’s secretly a cheese fanatic, I’m sure I can smuggle some of the good stuff from him.” Bluebell tilted her head slightly, eyeing his wings. “Don’t fly if you’re going into a window or something narrow because, and no offense, you're not good enough to avoid smacking into it and breaking something.”

“I take full offense,” He winks. “See you Milady.”

“See you, kitty.”

“Can you keep me?” Plagg asked, staring dreamily at the gruyere cheese that the young heroine had given him shortly after she detransformed and made it back home— and after he laughed about the pictures of all her friends including Adrien and Chat Noir on her walls. “I know I called you mushy and sentimental but this is even better than camembert!”

Marinette laughs and shakes her head, “Sorry Plagg, I prefer Tikki. I don’t like smelling like cheese.” Even if gruyere smelled quite a lot better than camembert.

“Ugh, humans.” The Kwami grumbles. “So fickle. You just wanna smell good for loverboy. I think that cheese smells amazing, for the record.”

“Your opinion has been noted.” She nods to him. “And I don’t want to smell good for Chat!”

“Mhm,” Plagg rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

“I’m not!”

“I totally believe you, kid.”

“You’re horrible,” She grumbles.

“Yeah, yeah. Feed me some more.”

“No.”

“Feed me!”

“Stop yelling or I’m telling Tikki you were being mean to me.”

“Hey!” Plagg turned to her with glaring green eyes. “Don’t bring Sugarcube into this.”

Marinette turned to him and raised an eyebrow, “Then don’t bring my kitty into this.”

“Aw,” He snickered. “You called him your kitty. He’ll get a kick out of that.”

“Plagg, claws out!” Marinette flushed a bright red and a green light encased her.

Time to go visit her kitty— because he is hers, no matter Plagg’s teasing.

Across town in a lonely room, Adrien was laughing so hard his stomach was hurting and tears were coming out of his eyes. He was practically wheezing at this point, curled up as he tried to catch his breath— something that, at this point, was useless.

He had managed to convince Tikki to try some of Plagg’s camembert.

And the little Kwami quite honestly looked like she was going to throw up, cheeks going almost a purple as she grimaced and gagged.

It shouldn’t have been as funny as it was but Adrien couldn’t help it.

Tikki was so different than Plagg and the simple fact that she looked like she was ready to die right then and there from the mere taste of the black cat’s favorite food was one of the funniest things he has ever seen.

“Haha,” She said, voice light but disgusted as she tried to cover up the taste with chocolate— which, by her expression, he could tell did not blend well. “Now you have to try it. Fair is fair.”

“No!” He choked on a chuckle. “Plagg has tried to feed me it so many times and succeeded. I don’t need to smell like that cheese more than I already do!”

“Hmph,” Tikki crossed her arms and floated up to his face. “I’m going to tell baby bug you tried to poison me.”

Adrien gaped, “You wouldn’t.”

The miniature goddess giggled, “You’re right, but your expression was worth it!”

“You’re so much nicer than Plagg, I can see why Ladybug loves you so much,” He commented, blinking slightly at the little Kwami’s stupefied expression. “She’s talked about you before. I didn’t know your name or anything but a couple of times during patrol she mentioned how, well… how she was so grateful you were her best friend.”

“Really?” Tikki gave an excited smile that only widened as Adrien nodded.

“Really really.”

“Well, she’s the best Ladybug I’ve had. The youngest too.” Her smile goes softer with a tender look only a being as long as she had lived could have. “I don’t know how she does it all, but despite all she thinks about herself, she’s a very resourceful little bug. I couldn’t be prouder of her. Or of you, Adrien! Plagg loves you, even if the stinky socks won’t admit it.”

“Thank you. He purrs when I hug him, even if he yells at me.”

“Does he really?” Tikki laughed joyfully. “I’ll have fun teasing him about that.”

“I thought you were the one that got teased?” Adrien tilted his head to the side.

“It goes both ways,” She reassured. “He’s just better at it.”

“I see. Did he really kill all the dinosaurs?”

“And the doo-doo birds.”

“No!” He gasped. “Evil.”

“Laziness and distractions,” The kwami corrected, lifting a solemn paw. “He was different back then. Less happy.”

“Less happy?” Adrien questioned.

He always assumed that cheese was the only thing that made Plagg truly happy, well, until he met Tikki and she had shared a couple of stories, telling him about all the interesting things they’ve been through together.

“Yeah,” Tikki gave him a sad smile. “We’ve been around since the dawn of creation, Adrien, we’ve seen countless civilizations and being rise and fall, empires turned to nothing more than ash. We’ve seen evil rise and good defend time and time again. My bugs… they are always smart, always compassionate people. Sometimes gentle and sweet like your lady is. Sometimes not. But they all— each and every single one of them— see horribly traumatizing things that Plagg’s holders do not, they get torn apart from the inside out. But his kittens? They get hurt more. They risk more. They die more and they die first. Always. And he dies with them a bit each time.”

“That’s…”

Adrien didn’t even know what that was, the only thing that came to mind was— sad.

“I know,” She gave him that motherly smile of hers, tone soft and soothing but with a note of sadness to it. “You don’t have to say it. Plagg takes a long time to open up to someone. He doesn’t like acting close, he doesn’t like being close— he said that it hurts less that way. But I know that it hurts the same, that it hurts even more. That he wants more time with them, I know I always do.”

“I can’t speak for anyone but myself,” The young hero says. “But I know that whenever I go, I will want more time with him, too.”

Tikki fixes him with a sweet look in her eye, “That’ll mean a lot to Stinky Socks. Could you tell him that?”

“Of course,” Adrien gives her one of his bright smiles— one that’s actually real. “It’s almost time to meet Milady at our room, are you all energized?”

Their room was at Le Grand Paris, paid for by Major Bourgeois after he assured the two heroes that there would be no supervallince, no one allowed on that floor (the very top) without their explicit permission and that they could come there at any time, the balcony always unlocked.

Chloe told them that it was a gift to her favorite superhero and ‘friend’ of all time.

Ladybug gave a weak smile and scowled once whom she considered to be a nuisance looked away.

Besides Chloe beings, well… Chloe, Adrien had no clue what she could’ve done to make his lady hate her so much. They interacted once every couple months due to her causing an Akuma, so maybe that was it but the dislikement Ladybug had for the girl seemed to go beyond that.

It seemed personal.

“Yep! Take me back to my baby bug, please.” Tikki smiles at him.

Returning the look, Adrien calls out, “Spots on!” And is encased into a burning, dark red light before the same maroon suit and dark wings flexed against his skin.

Scarlet beetle sighed.

Oh, how he couldn’t wait to see his lady.

Arriving at Le Grand Paris, Bluebell Kitten knew that her partner was already inside based on the precariously left open door and an album from Jagged Stone that she could hear extraordinarily well even from outside.

She, expecting to be able to stop, landed onto the balcony and put away her baton— only for her clumsy feet to stumble due to her speed and she crashed right through the open door, thankful that he left it open.

Then for the second time that day, the two heroes crashed into each other before slamming into the floor, the Kitten on top of the beetle and both bright red, bodies tangled up and so close that she couldn’t tell where she ended and he started.

“H-hey, Milady.” He, for some reason, chuckled and cupped the back of her head, holding her gently as he shifted slightly underneath her. “That eager to be bugged by me, huh?”

“Chaton,” The heroine scowled, pushing herself onto her elbows as she rests peacefully against his chest. “Aren’t you punned out for the day?”

“When am I ever punned out, little kitten?”

Bluebell shrieks as a purr loudly announces her appreciation— that she otherwise would’ve been able to hide— for the pet name and she scrambled back as that stupid blond started to laugh.

“Chat!” She covers her mouth with both hands, desperately trying to stop both her blush and the noise coming from her as it only grows thanks to her useless partner pulling her back onto him with a wicked grin. “Make it stop! How do I make it stop?”

“I don’t know if I want to help you with this, Milady,” He bites the inside of his cheek. “I quite like you not being able to hide how you feel.”

The purr in her chest turned into a soothing, almost constant rumble and she pouted.

“Yeah, well, I don’t.” The words seemed to vibrate in her throat and she swallowed the odd tickling feeling down. “I purr, Chaton. Purr! And every time I look at you my stupid tail wants to act up! Why? Because it hates me.”

“No,” He grinned. “Because you loooove me.”

Flushing deeply, she buries her head into her hands— deciding that's not enough and then buries it into his chest to hide the red-stained cheeks but Scarlet Beetle only laughs, telling her he saw it already.

“Come on, Bugaboo. I’m just teasing you.”

“I don’t like this.”

“But you like me.”

“Chat!”

“What? I didn’t do anything.” His laugh deepens and she can feel it in her own chest, being that close to him. That traitorous purr only gets louder. Stupid, stupid cat instincts. Why can’t she enjoy the sound of his laugh without him knowing? Was that too much to ask?

“Just give me my miraculous back, you silly tomcat,” Bluebell grumbles, successfully sitting up this time, the purr quieting when Scarlet Beetle puts his hands back to his sides. “And don’t tease my purring!”

“Why not?” He pouts. “You tease my purring.”

“That’s different,” She whines. “You’re cute when you do it. It’s just weird for me too! I don’t want to be able to hear your heart beating— wait!” She stared at him in wide-eyed horror. “Do you… do you usually hear that good?”

“Yeah?” The hero gives her a weird look. “But I learned to ignore it, why?”

“No reason.” She sighs, looking away from her partner as she scrambles off of him, both standing up and a foot apart. “Point is, I’m a cat person but I don’t want to be a cat.”

“I rather like seeing you as a cat,” His comment earns a dry look.

“I’m sure you just love seeing me prance around in leather but I like being Ladybug, not a kitty.”

“But you're my kitten,” Beetle’s pout returns, and his green eyes widen innocently— almost as bad as Manon’s when she wants something.

The longer she stared into his eyes, the more familiar they became.

Not because they were Chat’s eyes, no— she’s seen her partner’s slitted gaze thousands of times. She’s seen him look at her a thousand times with that look in his eyes, too. The look that got her heart racing and the ‘what ifs’ to drag through her mind.

But these eyes?

And that expression?

She saw it somewhere else, on someone else.

All she can do is stare blankly at him, mind reeling.

No… no, it can’t be him— Chat can’t be—

But he could.

The missed classes, the poor excuses, the exhaustion, the secret gaze, the trusting of her civilian self. Blonde hair, green eyes. Bad father. Kind, selfless, smart. Lonely. The gentlest soul she has ever met.

Everything just clicked.

The thing they had been dancing around for years just fell into place looking into those eyes— eyes she used to be too nervous to look into. Eyes she tripped over, eyes she used to be in love with; eyes she still was in love with.

Raising a shaking hand to his cheek, she caressed it softly before bringing it up to his hair and brushing the strands back. He watched her, curious gaze intense as they locked eyes.

“Adrien?”

The name passed her lips so softly, so assured, and her kitty flinched in surprise, wide eyes filling first with confusion, then panic, and then with questions.

“How did you…”

She fell for him once under the hood of an umbrella and a sincere apology, with thunder and lightning crashing around them in the downpour but she didn’t mind. She wasn’t the only thing in Paris that day that felt so heavy that she could scream and she didn’t mind. She fell in love with the sweet boy with good grades and a sadness trapped into a smile. She fell in love with the boy who did everything he could to make his father happy, to help people. She fell in love with the boy beyond the good boy, perfect model facade he put on.

She fell in love with Adrien Agreste at fifteen.

She fell in love with him again at eighteen but it was different this time. There was no lightning, no quick strike of feelings and amazement and warmth. No, it was like swimming in shallow waters only to get swept up in the tides, completely trusting the water to keep her safe.

She fell in love with the puns, with the goofy smile and flicking ears and curious green eyes. She fell in love with her best friend, her partner. She fell in love with the boy in the mask, the one who supported her whenever she needed it and held her even when she didn’t. She fell in love with his sensitive heart and sharp mind.

She fell in love with Chat Noir.

And ever since then she’s been falling all over the place, enamoured over everything he did. She fell and fell and fell. There were so many things to love about him— both sides of him.

How couldn’t she see it before?

Because, honestly, who else could’ve been good enough to be Chat Noir?

“Your eyes,” She murmured almost absentmindedly, looking between the verdant orbs. “They’re usually darker and slitted. Cats eyes. But… but these eyes? These are Adrien Agreste’s eyes. I know these eyes, they’re beautiful.”

She could hear his heart racing and she could see the almost begging way he looked at her. She could see the tension in his body, the way he could so easily shrink in on himself.

“And is… is being Adrien okay?” The hero questioned, wincing slightly as he looked away from her. “Are you disappointed that it’s me?”

“Of course not,” She giggled and that stupid purr still hadn’t left. “You’re you. How could that ever disappoint me, Chaton?”

“I don’t know... I’m not, I don’t— do I know you?” Adrien— Chat— questioned, shuffling on his feet as he leaned into her touch. “Outside of the mask, I mean?”

She felt the purring stop and her ears went back. She retracted her hand slowly to her cheek and hugged herself around the middle. She looked down at the wings opened anxiously against his back, not wanting to see the disappointment on his face.

“Yeah,” The heroine nods. “We’re friends.”

Friends.

That’s all they were.

Chat Noir and Adrien were in love with Ladybug— not her.

She wasn’t elegant or agile, she tripped over her feet three times a day and could be so unorganized and forgetful that she drove herself insane. She wasn’t too confident and she was far from brave.

Marinette wasn’t like Ladybug.

She wasn’t… she wasn’t that perfect girl Chat made her out to be.

Adrien was her friend, they hung out and could have good conversations but she noticed that he avoided her slightly, almost like he was disgusted by her. Like she made him uncomfortable.

Like he couldn’t stand her, even if he was polite.

It was almost like how she acted the first year they knew each other but he seemed more… wary, like she had done something to offend him and he was just waiting for her to realize or talk to him about it.

Would he be disappointed that she’s Ladybug?

Angry, even?

“Why do you look so sad, bugaboo?” Adrien asks, concern touching his tone. “Did you— do you not want to be my friend?”

When she looked at him, her poor partner looked ready to drop with worry and she gave a watery chuckle, just realizing there were tears in her eyes.

“Sorry,” She rubs the wetness away, almost poking herself with the claws. “I just… you don’t like me much. The civilian me, anyway. I don’t want you to  be upset that it’s me.”

“There are very few people I don’t like,” He frowned. “And none of them have blue hair, or blue eyes, or your smile. Who are you?”

Bluebell lowered her eyes, “You won’t hate me?”

It’s always been a fear of hers— Chat finding out who she actually was and leaving her, being disgusted. How could an insecure klutz like that protect Paris? How could he trust the girl who couldn’t get three good sentences out to him to talk down an Akuma or soothe one of the victims with her tone?

How could he still love her, knowing the girl underneath the mask?

Ladybug was stunning.

Marinette was just… Marinette.

“I couldn’t even if I tried,” Adrien reassured her, wringing his hands together in such a cute, unlike-Chat way that she giggled. “Can I detransform?”

“Sure,” She took a step back again, nervous for no reason at all.

It was just Chat, just her partner. Just the boy she’s been in love with for the last five years.

No big deal.

None whatsoever.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “You look like you’re going to cry. Oh no, I’m so sorry! I knew you wouldn’t like that I was Adrien! God, I’m so stupid—”

“Stop being mean to yourself!” She snapped. “I care about you, both sides! I care that you’re Adrien because you make me a little nervous but it’s nothing bad, I promise! I just have, urm… it’s a lot to process.”

“...Understandable.” He swallowed, then said, “Spots off.”

A flash of red consumed Scarlet Beetle and in his place stood Adrien, hair neater and muscular body less accentuated in his, ironically, ladybug-themed sweater and jeans that she knew he wore to school.

It was Adrien Agreste.

Her friend Adrien Agreste.

Bluebell knew that— of course she knew that but seeing it… it took her breath away.

Tikki floated between the two heroes with wide eyes, glancing to her baby bug and then back to the blond. She had no clue what was happening and her holder dreaded the lecture she’d get later of the importance of keeping their identities a secret.

With slightly narrowed eyes but an encouraging smile, Tikki went over to the other side of the room where the cookies were at and started to eat.

She could feel the Kwami’s eyes on her and the anxiety creeping around her veins pulsed viciously.

Taking a deep breath, she looked Adrien in the eyes— and then purred.

Loudly.

Horrifyingly loud.

When will this nightmare end?!

“Eep!” She stumbles back, flushing. “I don’t mean to, I swear!”

Adrien gives her that bemused smile, one usually reserved for Marinette after she did something weird or awkward, and chuckles, “It’s okay, Milady. No judgment here.”

“Thanks.” She said, still covering her cheeks.

“Are you, um… going to detransform, too?”

She knows that Adrien— Chat— has wanted to know who she was since the day they met. She wanted to know too but the fear of Hawkmoth getting to them outweighed the desire.

But thinking about it and actually telling him were two different things.

“I meant what I said,” Bluebell told him, voice steady but wary. “You avoid me and… and the way you look at me— we’re friends but just don’t… don’t get your hopes up that I’m someone you’ll like.”

“I already know I like you, with or without the mask.” He reassured, that usual comforting smile on his lips that got him that sunshine-boy reputation. “So please, bugaboo? I really want to know who you are.”

She bit her lip, holding her breath for a couple of seconds as she held herself in place too, leaning against the wall besides the windows.

She felt trapped, worried, but also excited.

She wanted him to know, even if she was scared.

She was far enough away from him, she could probably make it to the window and escape if he looked absolutely revolted by her.

She’s faced rejection before.

She could do it again.

Even if it would hurt really, really bad.

“Claws in.” She said, face turned to the ground as she trembled.

Oh God, there was no turning back now.

The soft baby blue light surrounded her, the drowning, beating wave-like power of the Miraculous leaving her as Plagg appeared in the air next to her arm— him being tackled by Tikki before he could even say anything, followed by a loud ‘shush’ from the Kwami.

Marinette stood there, shoulders raised with tension and her heart pounding behind her ears. She had the strongest urge to hide her face from view, to run away from all of this.

From his reaction.

“You’re… you’re Marinette.” Adrien said this slowly. He got a nod in reply. “And you think that I— Adrien Agreste— don’t like you?”

She gave another nod, not trusting her voice to speak.

She couldn’t even look at him. How pathetic could she get?

“I don’t hate you, Mari,” He said this and Marinette shyly looked up, flushing at the look of adoration on his face. He could still look at her like that? How? “I always noticed how uncomfortable I made you, I was just giving you space. I didn’t mean to make you upset, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” She rubs her arms and looks away again. “You don’t make me uncomfortable, just nervous.”

“Why?” Adrien questioned, voice almost cracking. “Do I intimidate you or something?”

Marinette couldn’t help it. She laughed.

“Intimidate me?” This is said with a giggle and she makes her amused eyes meet his. “You think you’re intimidating? Cute.”

“Hey,” His tone turned slightly offended and she bit her lip as he pouted. “I can be intimidating and scary.”

“Yeah?” She teases, leaning forward with that twinkle in her eyes— playful like how she could be with Chat. Because this was Chat. “Do it. Be scary. Intimidate me, ‘o frightening one.”

“Urm, I d-don’t think I can right now. You’re you.”

“Does your brain feel like it’s going to explode?” Marinette asks, blue clashing with green as she tilts her head to the side.

“Kinda.” Adrien admits sheepishly. “I’m still trying to understand why you get nervous around me.”

“Uh,” She blinks, a sheepish smile coming onto her face. “I know you’re in love with Ladybug but— but I’m not her, I’m not that great. I’m just me. And you think of me— Marinette— as a friend. But… I’ve kind of been in love with you since Dupont?”

“You what?”

“Been in love with you,” Marinette’s face burned. “Since I was about thirteen. I hated you at first, you were friends with Chloe and the gum on my seat didn’t help but then I noticed how kind you were. Smart, selfless. Lonely, too but you don’t like talking about that so I’m sorry for mentioning it— I just, I fell in love with you and that’s why you always made me nervous because I didn’t think you could love me back.”

“Marinette,” Adrien looks at her, tenderness and seriousness oddly mixed in his gaze as he slowly walked towards her. “I’ve been in love with you from the second we met. And don’t say that you’re not Ladybug because you are, both inside and outside of the mask. You help people, you protect them. You’re passionate and strong and stubborn and I love you. I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say it before you believe me but I’ll do it until then and even after. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts— mph!”

With slight tears pricking her eyes, Marinette closed the distance between them and wrapped him into a tight hug, his now familiar body both making her feel calm and make her heart race.

“I love you too.”

Adrien sighs contently, wrapping his arms around her too. He held her gently but tightly, not willing to let her go but not risking hurting her— not that the silly kitty could.

Suddenly he chuckles and says, “That explained why you purred.”

“I said not to tease me!” She whined, pulling back enough that she could look up at him with narrowed eyes. “You’re  so mean, Chaton.”

“And you’re stunning, Bugaboo.”

The comment made Marinette squeak and dunk her head, desperate to get her blush out of his eyesight— but a soft yet collapsed hand holding lightly onto her chin stopped the action, Adrien bringing her eyes back up to look at him.

“You believe me when I say that, yes?” He asks. “Because I mean it. Everything about you is gorgeous, I don’t know how I didn’t realize the two girls I fell in love with were the same one.”

“It’s because we’re both stupid,” She giggles, stering the converastion away from compliments, unsure of how much warmer her face could get before she combusted. “But I also blame your hair.”

“My hair?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Mhm,” She hums, reaching up to play with the soft strands as she had done so hundreds of times before. “You always have it so neat but as Chat it’s messy.”

“I like it better that way,” He explains, a slight purr to his voice. “It’s more comfortable.”

“Both styles are equally cute, so you’re lucky.” She murmurs absentmindedly, still focused on his hair, ruffling it slightly with a smile. Then she notices the ear cuffs he had on and blinked in surprise. “Are those my earrings?”

“Huh?” Adrien blinks his eyes open and Marinette giggles at his dazed expression. Even without the ring he was her silly kitty who liked to be pet and cuddled. “Oh, yeah. They changed when I touched them.”

“Your ring did too,” She shows him. “It was weird, I thought it would’ve stayed silver.”

“Yeah, me too,” He poked the ring and then gently slides it off of her finger, putting it on his own before reaching up for the earrings and giving them back to their rightful owner who puts them off and sighs in relief.

This magic was familiar— this magic was warm and like home and tight enough to keep her safe, not like swimming in an open ocean and gasping for air only for her lungs to fill with water instead.

“Mari?”

“Yes?” She looks up at him, seeing questions in his verdant eyes.

“Have you, um, seen something bad that I haven’t?”

It was admittedly a weird question, one that through her off guard but one that also made her think of the word drowned in water and dust, of the Eiffel tower toppled over, of watching herself crumple and fade, of seeing the moon cracked open in the sky and a boy in white with blue, crying eyes and a broken soul.

It made her think of how she saved him— but how she hadn’t saved her Chaton all those times, how she watched him die and fade and get captured and tortured and taken control of.

It made her think of the trauma of watching her city burn and the people in it all relying on her since the tender age of thirteen to save them all.

It made her think of all the times she had to protect everyone by herself because she lost Chat after he risked everything to save her.

Realizing she got lost in thought, Marinette startled and focused back onto her partner, “Yes, but don’t worry Minou. I can handle it.”

“I want you to be able to talk to me about those things,” Adrien murmured softly. “Tikki told me that all her Ladybugs live through things Chat Noirs don’t— but we’re a team. I want to share that burden with you.”

She sighed— and then she told him about Chat Blanc, she told him about how Paris drowned under the weight of their love three years ago and she’s been scared for him ever since, she told him about all of it.

By the end, they were both in tears and holding onto each other.

A weight feels like it was lifted off of her shoulders, like she was light enough to just float. It felt good talking about it, to let go all of that terror and heartache she accumulated over the years.

“You’re stronger than I ever knew,” Adrien kisses her forehead and her heart flutters. “I’m so proud of you, my little kitten.”

“Adrien,” She whines, hiding her face into his shoulder. “Stop.”

“Stop what?” He chuckles, lightening the mood. He always had a way of doing that. “Complimenting you?”

“Yes, I’m not used to it!” Marinette exclaimed. “You’re making me blush too much!”

“What if that’s my goal?”

“Then it’s a bad goal.”

“Meow-ch, Princess.” Adrien puts a hand over his heart. “You hurt me so, but fine. If that’s a bad goal, then what’s a good one?”

Feeling brave, she shoots him a wide smirk, “Kissing you until you’re breathless.”

He just stares at her, gaping as he blinks.

“What, Kitty?” She teases, leaning closer. “You flirt all the time but can’t take it?”

“No, it’s j-just… I completely support that goal.”

Laughing, Marinette rolls his eyes before cupping his face and kissing him— the feeling of his soft lips on hers sending a shiver down her spine. It was passionate and slow and loving, a kiss that told both of them all they had been feeling for these years.

It was a kiss that told them no matter what happened, they’d be okay.

So they kissed, again and again until they lost reality.

Going through the pain of having their Miraculous switched was worth it.

#switched miraculous #adrien x marinette #adrienette #adrien agreste #ml ladybug #ml adrien #mlb fanfic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous kwami #kitten #purring #Chat Noir and Ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #mlb fic #fluff #fight #akuma attack #long post #long fic

[citrineghost]

Humans Are Historically Known for Being Terrible

Hi I’m here with an opinion today. Let’s see how many words it will take for me to adequately get it across on this very fine 15th of January

I personally believe canceling things from the past* is fruitless, pointless, and accomplishes about as much as censorship does

*We aren’t talking about shit like nazi Germany, let me elaborate further

So, as I occasionally do, I have seen a post on my dash today criticizing something historical that people are ‘problematically partaking in.’ That thing today was the wellerman sea shanty due to its ties with colonialism, slavery, and so forth. 

I’m not going to dive into this specific example, because I don’t know enough of the details and am not interested in going to find them out because I’m not planning to defend it or its history, so there’s no point. I learned what I needed to know from said callout post and it’s enough to work with.

To me, it is important that we remember that people, in general, have been historically pretty terrible.

There’s colonialism, there’s slavery (of all kinds, including chattel), there’s thievery, murder, genocide, sexism, the murdering of queers. There’s lying, manipulation, propaganda, and so many more things that I couldn’t possibly list them all. I’m not saying that everyone was equally shitty. I am aware that, especially in the most recent couple hundred years, white people, especially Western Europeans and Americans, have been pretty Shite.

Am I excusing them for their actions? Absolutely not. I think it is always important to bear in mind the way they played a part in cultures’ growth, death, and, ultimately, development from one year to the next.

The reason I’m pointing this out is because the result of people being historically shitty is that most, if not all, of our historical content, our history, is steeped in horse manure. 

There is not one thing you can enjoy from centuries - even decades - passed that is not here because of something inhumane, unjust, or otherwise terrible.

The only thing keeping us from canceling every other historical thing that we enjoy is our lack of awareness of how each thing ties into the whole mess.

So, we’ve learned that wellerman was sung by slavers and thieves and colonialists. What about that nice little folk song from uh, idk, Ireland or something? Let’s take this metaphorical song and ask the question, “who wrote it?” The truth is, for many folk songs, we just don’t know. There is a very very good chance that 90+ percent of nice, soft folk songs about lying in the grass or feeding chickens or baking bread for your spouse were written by racists, sexists, abusers, homophobes, and so forth.

Does that make it wrong to enjoy that song about lying in the grass and looking at the stars? I don’t think so. No one is profiting off of you listening to it, regardless of who wrote it. It’s hundreds of years old. Do you even know the name of who wrote it?

Remembering that times were different may not absolve something of its wrongdoing, but it does provide us context.

We have to allow ourselves to admit that most, if not all, historical things, came from or benefitted from atrocities or injustices that we would not stand for today. That’s just how human progression works. Frankly, if people 200 years from now don’t look at US, CURRENTLY, and think we’re terrible assholes, I am actually very concerned by that. 

The nature of humanity is to get better and better over time and to build a world and a society where we don’t feel the need to be controlled by greed or to consume unethically. The problem is, it takes time. It takes lots and lots of time. Would it take less time if certain people weren’t terrible, terrible people? Yes it would. But they are, and so it doesn’t.

The fact is, human progression and improvement will never reach its end because, as things improve, our perception of our past actions will change as well and we will begin to realize that what we were doing wasn’t acceptable and is no longer necessary nor excusable. 

Hate Jeff Bezos? Look around and see that 90% of people still buy from Amazon, because it provides the only affordable source of many products for people who don’t make enough money under capitalism to buy from a small business.

Hate Bill Gates? How many of us are willing to switch to Linux to quit using Microsoft? Speaking of Microsoft, they own Minecraft. Do we stop playing Minecraft?

Think Steve Jobs is a terrible person? Why are people still buying iphones, ipads, and macs? Why don’t we stop buying those so that he and current CEO, Tim Cook, quit making billions of dollars?

These are just a tiny amount of examples, using big names. We also must consider, if you have 100 books on your bookshelf, how many of the writers of those books are racists, homophobes, sexists, or abusers? I guarantee you it’s a non-zero answer. The thing is, an author who’s relatively nobody is not someone who gets canceled. No one knows anything about them but that they wrote a neat work of fiction and it’s a good book.

The question is, should we be expected to quit buying, consuming, and enjoying things made by problematic people?

In some cases, the answer should be yes. If someone is currently profiting massively from people consuming their media or products and people are ignoring their atrocities, that person could end u making millions or billions of dollars despite being terrible, which is something that undoubtedly affects all of us, economically.

In the other cases, the answer should be, do you want to? If you’re not comfortable with something, you should, of course, stop consuming it. If you can ignore the thing, you might not need to bother. And, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re excusing it.

If we look at all of humanity, even in the present day, mathematically speaking, 50% of people are more bigoted and terrible than the rest. There’s no other way for it to be. Less than 50% would be a mathematical fallacy. Does that mean we only consume content from the better 50%? Does that mean we rigorously research producers and creators and their personal lives only to decide it’s not worth the risk of ‘contributing’ because they have no trace online except for a private Facebook account? Is them having a Facebook account enough of a ‘sin’ that it’s not worth it to buy their book?

This brings us to the censorship point

If you know your history, you know that censorship is a nasty thing. When one person decides who or what is unethical to consume from, they sometimes seek to get rid of that thing so that no one has a choice - so that no one is Allowed to consume that thing.

This has led to book burning, the destroying of decades and centuries of research about sexuality and gender. It’s destroyed religious texts. It’s destroyed content created by women that painted any single man in a bad light. It’s destroyed progression.

“But I only want to get rid of the bad thing that everyone agrees is bad!”

It doesn’t matter. If you open the door to censorship for yourself, those who wish to use it for worse reasons will become just as justified, in their own eyes, to do the same. You’ll have Christians saying it’s okay to get rid of gay content because it’s objectively wrong according to the bible. You’ll have conservative parents burning books with complicated topics like abuse and assault because they don’t want their children to have access to anything controversial or complex like that.

You cannot open the door to censorship for one group without opening that door for everyone. And that is why we do not censor things.

The question then becomes, but what of the people consuming that media? Even if it’s not censored, consuming it still makes someone bad, right? 

Not necessarily. People consume problematic stuff all the time - things considered objectively bad. However, people don’t always consume said media because they support it being normalized in the real world. For example, fanfiction or books with rape in them may be something a victim reads to cope with their own past or present. A book with abuse depicted may actually make a young teen aware that what they’re going through is abuse. Content largely seen as ‘problematic’ can often play a part in solving the problem it portrays.

Then there’s historical, problematic media. Now, this is an area where I feel things have actually been OVER complicated.

Because everything historical has some tie to injustice, there is no ethical way to consume it. 

There is no ethical consumption under passed time.

So, how do we judge whether something should or shouldn’t be consumed? It is my opinion that something historical should stop being consumed and become shunned when its meaning is well-known enough and its message is still pervasive enough that it is actively causing problems.

For example, we generally try not to consume content when it is made by someone who is a known nazi. This is because nazis are still a problem in our society, presently. We have antisemitism all over the place. Therefore, we cannot let the message become that it is okay to be a nazi by way of us treating nazis like normal people and allowing them to succeed in society without consequence.

However, there are certain problems that are no longer particularly prevalent or which are agreed to be terrible on a large enough scale that consuming the content does not necessarily imply you believe it is okay. For example, if you look at literally any media from the 1800s or which is placed in the 1800s, you will see a lot of casual sexism and gender roles. Should we despise that time period because sexism was readily available at every turn? Should we refuse to enjoy 19th century fashion or culture because it had problems? I think not. I think it would be pointless to refuse to consume, read about, or otherwise engage with the 19th century. It wouldn’t change the past and it isn’t going to somehow undo the progress we’ve made on women’s rights. 

As a matter of fact, if someone merely suggested that perhaps the people of the 19th century were right for forcing women to wear long dresses and darn socks all day, they would be laughed into oblivion and called a shitty, sexist incel (which would be correct).

Does enjoying media from or placed in the 19th century mean you support sexism? I certainly hope not, since I enjoy it very much and know a lot of progressive people, women especially, who do enjoy that kind of thing. It is common sense enough, at this point in time, that people don’t generally believe that the sexism of the 1800s was acceptable. I am not going to see someone watching a period drama and assume they desire for our present-day social laws to be like what’s portrayed. That would be a ridiculous assumption. However, I could not assume the same about someone I saw watching openly antisemitic content. I would quickly wonder if they’re an antisemite/nazi/white supremacist.

So, what about that one thing I heard had a sordid past?

Listen, if we’re being honest here, most things from history have a sordid past. Sea shanties? You bet. But then when we talk of sea shanties being steeped in colonialism, we have to look at the bigger picture. What about pirates? Pirates were, by and large, a huge contributor to slavery, theft, colonialism, and murder. Does that mean enjoying media with pirates is glorifying or contributing to slavery, theft, colonialism, and murder?

(I’m about to talk a lot about pirates but this can be applied to anything that was historically bad but is no longer prevalent)

Pirates of the Caribbean is only a movie, but pirates did once exist and they did kill people. They did raid ships of merchants and tradesmen and they killed them and stole their goods. They took many good men from their families and even killed working children aboard the ships. Does that make enjoying pirates in media a contributor to these things? No. It doesn’t. We are looking at a dramatised, cleaned up version of the original piracy. I think most people are aware that pirates, in the real world, are bad and harmful and should not be supported. That doesn’t make pirate media any less fun in theory, and under our own terms.

Then we arrive at our perception - because most of this does come down to perception. When you watch pirate media, should you enjoy that, are you able to divorce yourself from their actual history enough to enjoy the media? If you can, you might enjoy it a lot. If you can’t watch a movie about pirates without thinking the entire time about how terrible they were and how much damage they did, then pirate media just isn’t right for you. But, it doesn’t mean you should attempt to take it away from others. Your opinion and perception of pirate media is not the global perception.

I have to ask, do you think others view it the same way you do?

When you read that question, you may be wondering what exactly I mean. What I’m asking is, do you believe others view that media with the same “clarity” that you do? Do you believe they understand the atrocity of real pirates and Feel that the entire time they watch the media and still enjoy it anyway?

Perhaps that’s why your response to someone enjoying something you feel guilty partaking in is, “these people all must not care about the real-world damage pirates did. The fact that they can watch this (despite sitting here and feeling the same things I do) makes me sick.”

However, if that is the case, you must remember that for a lot of people, the awareness of real world consequence is suspended during dramatised depictions of it. It doesn’t mean they have forgotten about the real-world consequences of piracy or that they don’t know it at all. It just means they are choosing not to think about it in that light while consuming media.

There is also the assumption that people must not know about something when partaking in it. You may think, “How can they enjoy this media? They wouldn’t be able to stomach it if they realized what really happened with pirates.”

In many instances, you would be correct. A lot of people are ignorant to what pirates have done in the real world. If you told every ignorant person the truth, maybe 5% of them would then become turned off by pirate media, and the other 95% would keep the truth in mind and then divorce themselves from it to continue enjoying said media.

There are realities that it is safe to divorce yourself from, and there are those that are not.

Is allowing yourself to enjoy dramatizations of pirates making you ignorant to present day conditions? Not largely. There are still pirates today, but not nearly enough for the average Joe to need to take them seriously. Those who need to know about them and do something to stop them are aware.

However, it is not safe to divorce yourself from, for instance, the holocaust. Divorcing yourself from the holocaust and seeing it as merely a dramatic setting with dramatic events and not a present-day real-world problem is exactly the kind of thing that leads to young teens being sucked in by white supremacy and naziism as well as what leads to many average conservatives believing the rise in white supremacy isn’t actually real or is not a big deal. They have distanced themselves so far from the real-world atrocity of the holocaust that they have forgotten it was real and that real people, like them, were contributors. They don’t want to believe that everyday people had any power in it and that it was tiny acts of willful ignorance that made concentration camps so successful. 

All in all, there is a different answer for everything we consume.

Want to know if something you’re consuming is okay to consume? Ask yourself: is this produced by someone who is contributing to present-day conditions? If the answer is yes, quit consuming it. If the answer is no, ask yourself, does this media make me uncomfortable because I’m aware of its roots? If the answer is yes, stop consuming it. If the answer is no, it’s probably fine. You are most likely not doing any damage, so long as you are aware of what is wrong with the content and are not using it as grounds to perpetuate harm. 

If, when thinking about something problematic in an old piece of media, you cringe? You’re on the right track. If you feel inclined to make excuses for it or justify the wrong in it, it’s time to step away and reevaluate why you feel the need to do so. If you’re doing so because you feel guilty for consuming it, you need to realize that it is actually more harmful to make excuses for the wrong in order to justify your consumption than it is to admit, “Yeah, this media is problematic and contains a lot of sexism, but I still enjoy it for its other qualities.” It is better to admit that you enjoy something problematic than to spread the message that what is happening in it is okay.

Some of you may be thinking, “Or, just stop consuming problematic media.”

I think in many cases, especially recent media, where your consumption has an effect on production, this is true. However, for media that is no longer being produced, I will remind you that most things have something wrong with them - yes, even pretty recent stuff.

Supernatural kills off women constantly, queerbaited the fuck out of its viewers, and sent a huge character to fucking mega hell for confessing his love.

Scrubs has no end to its sexism, transphobic and homophobic slur usage, and other problematic content.

V for Vendetta glorifies and shines a heroic light on a character who kidnaps and tortures a woman for what appeared to have been weeks or months so that she would be forced to understand his trauma and “no longer be afraid.”

Star Wars has incest, the producers/directors abused Carrie Fisher and sexualized her as a young teen, and probably a lot more that I’m not aware of because I haven’t seen the movies nor read the books.

I don’t even need to start on shows like Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, Community, That 70s Show, and so many more. Almost every popular piece of media has something worth canceling in it. There is no point trying to curate your media consumption to only unproblematic content, because it simply can’t be done.

Curate where it makes a difference. Sigh heavily the rest of the time. Make yourself aware what and how things are problematic. Put critical thought into how your consumption is capable of supporting or perpetuating a problem and how it is not. Make informed decisions.

Do not feel guilty if you are unable to flawlessly live up to the standards of purity culture. None of us can - not really.

#long #longpost #long post #racism mention #antisemitism mention #nazi mention #holocaust mention #sexism mention #transphobia mention #homophobia mention #spn #supernatural #pirates of the caribbean #pirates #potc #scrubs #got #game of thrones #breaking bad #community #that 70s show #sorry im a bitch and tag everything i talk about in my posts so people with it blacklisted dont have to see #media #purity culture #cancel culture #wellerman #piracy #sea shanties #problematic #psa

[bookcoversalt]

Wait is your whole YT just going to be like. Negative stuff/why X sucks (besides covers)? Also w/ HoSS, I don’t like it either (and you make good points in your vid) but isn’t it kinda rude to put “why this is terrible” videos in the general tumblr tag for the book where people who do like it will probably see it?

Like I know hate-reading/reviewing etc can be fun but is that. Is that the whole deal. Because I know on here at least you actually give both positive and negative reviews of stuff so I’m a bit confused

Short answer: no, the YT will not be wholly negative; in theory it will shake out to be about the same negative/ positive/ “commentary on neutral thing that exists” as this blog.

Long answer is that in the video, I do my best to be even-handed about what works and doesn’t (and what I think COULD work given tweaking), and more importantly, why I feel that way, using the most objective language possible. Like bookcoversalt, there will be some "lol this is dumb” (because it’s entertaining, and because there’s some ridiculous stuff in this content that there isn’t room or the justification to engage with seriously) but I really do hope my body of work speaks for itself as good faith criticism that isn’t just snark or negativity or dunking on things for fun. (My marketing/ thumbnails may trend that way, however, for reasons of “youtube clicks”.)

I realize this is a reaction to what I just said about doing exactly that to THRONE OF GLASS. I was semi-joking; talking about the original TOG really means talking about how YA fantasy and its Standards have (and haven’t) evolved in the eight years since TOG was published, common amateur writerly mistakes, and the basis for the conversation about Sarah Maas, “empowerment,” and the self-insert character, and I don’t consider any of that hate-reviewing or “book rant” material, as booktube calls it. But i also do hate that book The Most, and it is the seed of SJM’s deeply problematic and monumentally popular fantasy romance empire, so yeah, I would be lax on my “minimal dunking” principle for that one, because It Would Be Fun For Me, and because I would not consider it ‘punching down’ or being unreasonably mean as I perhaps would for books that are not the basis of one of the most profitable series in YA.

Also, I disagree that it’s rude to put sincere criticism of works in the tags. It IS rude to tag or send the content to professionals involved in creating it (NEVER EVER TAG AN AUTHOR IN YOUR MIXED OR NEGATIVE REVIEW OF THEIR BOOK), and I personally think that yes, “hate” or outright anti takes probably shouldn’t go in tags, but I don’t consider what I do to be in that category, I consider it relevant content and fair game on a website where tags are not curated collections so much as a general indicator of subject matter. (But also my tagging on this blog when it happens at all is minimal and uneven, so it’s not an issue that comes up often.)

At the risk of being SINCERE ON MAIN, I have been running this blog for four years, and I ran a critical blog about an unnamed specific book series for two years, and every once in a while I get feedback or a comment that says something to the effect of “I really enjoy your criticism, it helped me identify my own feelings and put them into words.”

And hearing that I accomplished that is the best fucking feeling in the world. That empowerment is what reading/watching thoughtful media criticism did and does for ME, and passing that forward is always my main goal: not to impose my own opinions, but to provide them as a context for YOURS. Having a basis of knowledge and vocabulary to suss out my own reactions and then identify what in art or media triggers them and why on a specific and informed level makes me a better writer and artist and a more thoughtful consumer. And you’d think that’s instinctive, but it really isn’t; it’s a skill that requires practice and thoughtful consumption and feedback from peers and research just like learning any other skill does. So if or when people disagree with me: great! I was reading old posts the other day and I myself sometimes do not agree with me. But I hope you take something from it anyway <3

[kinetic-elaboration]

April 25: 2x16 The Gamesters of Triskelion

Finally watched some more Star Trek. I feel like it’s been forever...

Today’s ep is The Gamesters of Triskelion, which is... okay. It’s not terrible but I think its best aspects are the most familiar: the type of alien, the moral values at play; and its weakest are its most unique.

I think Spock likes it when Kirk says “mind the store.” What a folksy human thing to say!

Plus now that he’s Captain he gets to sit in the chair.

This conversation between Spock and Scotty is hilarious. “I’m assuming you mean they disappeared in an unusual way??” “Uh, yeah?? Do you think I’m dumb?”

This alien looks like Lady Gaga c. 2010

Kirk is being very Dramatic today.

Come on, Spock, gotta get your man.

You know Spock is worried when he mentions hope. That is, as McCoy says, a human emotion.

“Collars of obedience.” Kinky.

Stylish pink jail.

I’m really feeling this Spock and Bones interaction today. That’s a great eyebrow lift.

If the random alien is leaving, Uhura must have been his ass down.

“Nourishment interval.” We need to bring this into our modern vocabulary.

Not one, but TWO ladies in command gold today (one at Communications, and one at Spock’s station).

Wild aquatic fowl.

I feel like this episode is another example of a writer putting her alien sex fantasy on television. Like, a hardcore alien sex fantasy. The obedience collars, the training harness, the whipping, the weird flirtation between Chekov and his “training thrall”--herself a very androgynous alien, just to throw some gender play in there.

Kirk turning up the charm again. I missed Charming!Kirk. I mean, picking up a silver platter to use as a mirror and saying “That’s beautiful”? This man has no shame.

I feel like this episode shows how Spock’s logic is actually a very effective life strategy. He’s facing a very mysterious situation with high stakes--literally his best friend/soulmate/captain lost, plus two more crewmen--but he isn’t defeatist like McCoy or defensive like Scotty. He just follows the evidence, even when the evidence seems wild. And he was right.

Detective Kirk time!

“Are they computers?” He’s hoping so, since he’s very good at defeating computerized enemies.

Could it be instead another example of aliens who have transcended their physical bodies?

He is really laying the charm offensive on thick here.

I get how people have vague memories of TOS and remember Kirk as slutty, because certainly there are lots of shots of him kissing ladies, but like... 90% of the time he's using charm as a weapon, like he doesn't like Lady Gaga, he just wants to get off this planet.

“Love, for one thing.” Time for Kirk to be a Romantic Nerd again. He sure does love love!!

See imo just as it’s ridiculous for him to limit love to being one of the most important things on Earth, since he barely even spends any time on Earth and his general thesis is about what all intelligent creatures can care about besides their basic needs being met by “Providers,” I think it’s silly to limit love to being between men and women. And just as he’s kinda lying about the Earth thing, I think he’s lying about the heterosexual thing.

People in love “live together, help each other, make each other happy.” I love his definitions of love!! Like with Edith, he center helping each other in the definition.

McCoy and Scotty think they can take on Spock lmao. The Captain’s life is at stake; he’s not fooling around. And he’s right too so y’all can shush!!

Honestly, that leaning down to talk quietly to them--I know it’s because he doesn’t want to say the word “mutiny” too loud where other people can hear him, but it really reads like he’s mocking them.

Shauhna is harassed at work.

Spock’s like ‘screw a landing party, I will retrieve my space husband by myself... and I guess McCoy can come too.’

McCoy’s voice was the one Kirk heard but he still calls out to Spock.

Mmm, yes, disembodied alien brains.

I like the painted background behind them, too. Which is apparently stolen from Devil in the Dark. S2 needs more painted backgrounds.

“You think YOU’RE competitive? A race that does nothing but gamble? Well you’ve never met humans lol.”

Since when has Kirk ever competed for a woman? Hardly a competition when he always wins.

“Fresh thrall” something so... ugh about that phrase.

Ah, yes, an Andorian.

I’m starting to feel like this is Spock’s Pre-Reform Vulcan Sex Fantasy.

I feel like Shauhna will eventually become the leader of the Triskellion people. My mom thinks it would be cool for Kirk to meet her again in the future. I feel like there’s a fanfic in there somewhere...

“I didn’t lie, I just...lied.”

Honestly, don’t bother leaving everything to these disembodied colorful brains, just take Shauhna with you and enlist her in Starfleet. Or at least, like, high school.

...And after all that she STILL has a crush on Kirk. The man is too powerful.

What, no return to the Enterprise? No Kirk appearing shirtless on the bridge? No everyone acknowledges that Spock was right the whole time? No awkward little joking time?

I guess perhaps Kirk is embarrassed.

So overall... again, B basically.

As far as commonly used tropes in Star Trek go, this one is actually one of my favorite ones. I like it more than “godlike man must be defeated” and probably even more than “computer runs society,” though not as much as “old Earth tech becomes sentient.” But generally speaking “aliens transcend corporeal bodies by becoming too smart” is a good trope and I like seeing the different spins on it: the Organians, who can choose corporeal bodies if they want and are incredibly peaceful; the aliens from Return to Tomorrow, who wish they still had bodies; the aliens from The Cage/The Menagerie, who do have bodies but can’t do much with them, who must rely on aliens they capture to do physical work on the planet’s surface for them; and these aliens, who are so bored they must rely on arbitrary wagers using enslaved aliens just to have something to do. There’s something sort of... sad but fitting about that fate. Understandable, awful, pathetic. Still, I wouldn’t call this my favorite take on the trope.

But the specifics of the story, outside the “brain-aliens trope,” I didn’t like so much. The BDSM kink stuff mixed in with like actual slavery made me super uncomfortable. I know it’s based on Ancient Rome but like... even though it was a clear bread and circuses situation, that was not what I was thinking of tbqh.

This is a good episode for showcasing Star Trek Values, which overall I would say are my values. I do see how some people today would criticize them for being a little... well. How to say it. Colonizer-savior. I completely disagree that this is the reading that should be given to them and in fact I think it’s a bad faith reading but people are the way they are and certain things are in vogue sometimes and not others, so. I just mean that when Kirk says that they (the Federation, one would assume) have helped other civilizations “progress” or whatever word he uses, it sounds a little like they came in and made alien societies better using their own values. But I would say that what we actually see, in specific examples throughout the series, is the Federation wanting the civilizations it interacts with to be free, in fact requiring members state to be free, and that is really the one value a free society can impose on others or require of others--choosing slavery or dominion is choosing to relinquish all future choices, and thus cannot be allowed by any society that values freedom. That catch-22 that we see so much now. So, my point is, I think the values Kirk epitomizes for the show are freedom, self-determination, and a certain conception of progress, too: the ability to grow and develop, the avoidance of stagnation. And certainly this episode shows a clear case: having everything provided for you in exchange for being the professional playthings of a bunch of disembodied brains is objectively bad! Surely we can all agree on that. But this obvious example is used as an excuse for Kirk to speechify on the topic of what a utopian future will look like, what the best of humans can be, and what the rest of the universe could be like if it learns from our best traits (and not our worst). Which is overall something I find very comforting.

I’d just been thinking, at the beginning of this episode, that I think S1 is a better Kirk season than S2. S2 has too many episodes that problematize his leadership or his heroism, or that barely even use him--even episodes like The Trouble With Tribbles that outright mischaracterize him imo. But this episode really was Classic Kirk and I appreciated that. We see him being charming, smart, selfless, strong, creative, romantic... coming in at the end to embody the utopian values of the series.

Spock was so well characterized and so smart and so heroic, too, that he kinda was the mvp for me, though... Don’t take away my Kirk stan card lol. Spock was just so In Command... You can see how he could become a captain later, even if being in command never really interested him much.

I don’t entirely get why Kirk bargained for the thralls to all stay and make their own government (or to be trained in self-governance by their enslavers... a whole different issue tbqh), given that it’s already been established that most/all of them have been kidnapped from other planets. Should they not be... returned?

And if most/all of them are 2nd or later generations, that’s a whole other complex issue that could perhaps use third party mediators or something...

I also wondered about Shahna's origins. Was she the descendant of another civilization that is native to the planet, or is it just that her people were kidnapped so much earlier that she herself, personally, has never lived anywhere else?

I think it both makes more sense and is a more fitting ending if it’s the first. It makes sense to me that the first peoples enslaved by the brains were natives of the planet: more convenient that way. Also, I think we need to see more alien planets with more than one humanoid or human-intelligence level species.

And, if her people are native to the planet, having them become leaders of their own right again and not just possessions of the glowing brains is more powerful. Otherwise it's kinda sad: yes, they can form their own government here, but they've still been robbed of their real history and their real homeland, which they don't even remember.

Also as my mom pointed out, it’s not clear the brains themselves are native to the planet. They could have been invaders--the last real thing they did before they started wagering fake money--and Shauhna’s people the natives.

I really did like Shahna a lot and I hope she becomes the leader of whatever government they set up and eventually does get to travel into space.

Imo this was one of those TOS eps where the potential back story and the hints of world building are more interesting than the actual story.

Also apparently the actor who played Galt was trying to walk in a gliding manner so it wouldn’t be clear what he was hiding under those robes and... I have to say, definitely wheels.

Next up is A Piece of the Action, one of my favorites. Great plot, great fun, great sci fi concept, great Kirk material!

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #star trek tos #2021: fandom thoughts

[navollidiot]

i know there is and will continue to be a lot of controversy about the hate crime scene, so if you don’t want to read this post because you won’t agree with me criticizing it, then don’t read it, don’t clown on it, just don’t interact and move on with your day, i’m not taking names and hunting people down for their opinions especially when i do not personally know most of you.

obligatory statement: i’m not cis, not het, not white. do not be a bigot on this post :)

i remember very clearly the night that clip dropped + literally spending the next 2 or 3 days scrolling through the tag to read every single post in there to gather all of the opinions that i could find, everything from people who had been following the season from the very first second of the first episode, to people who were only casual viewers, who had not offered commentary before that point and only came out to share their opinions after the enormous shock wave that clip generated throughout the fandom. i don’t even think that sander running out of the hotel in episode 8 caused nearly as much of an uproar, mostly because the majority of us knew that was coming (though i do remember the outrage that we didn’t see robbe find him until it was past midnight, which is also completely understandable).

over those next few days and the following weeks, i saw the full spectrum of opinions continue to expand as more and more people gradually processed what they had seen and began to come to their own conclusions about it, especially those, like mine, with many layers of conflicting emotions. some even shared their own stories that were deeply personal and brave and heart-wrenching and hope-giving. what was pretty universal, however, was that no one saw the hate crime coming. it wasn’t in og, it hasn’t been done in any other remake, there was no hint or warning whatsoever that it was imminent. i know part of that is probably the production thinking that was an appropriate way to show how something like that can unfold in real life. do i agree with how that decision was made? ultimately, no. i’m sure that plenty of you also share that opinion to some extent. i’m sure that many of you also excuse, turn a blind eye to, or even defend the hate crime’s necessity and importance. i’ve said before that it’s not a black-and-white situation and i continue to stand by that. i also stand by the opinion that the writers handled the execution poorly even if they had good intentions. intention ≠ impact. there should have been a trigger warning. there should have been a better and more assertive resolution in the following episodes, like there was for zoë’s season (which was very well done and makes me confused why they didn’t give robbe the same treatment but i digress)

“but iT’S REALISTIC—” yes, it’s realistic that gay people experience violence for being gay. no one is denying that this stuff happens. but the aftermath of the incident, which robbe discussed only briefly twice with milan (and senne, but robbe never told him the full truth of what happened) and then was not addressed further, even when it was at some points clearly mirroring zoë’s struggle with testifying against viktor? that was not realistic. i recognize the very real possibility that they are going to drag the assault into s4 to show how robbe’s storyline impacts however they’ve written yasmina’s arc, but whatever they have planned for her honestly terrifies me to no end because we have never had an adequate sana season that does the muslim main justice. i am including og in this, for those of you who have not seen it. i’m sure that many of you who have seen skamfr s4 and druck s4 agree with me. it goes without saying that i believe they should have addressed the assault before robbe’s season actually ended in order to minimize the amount of interference that he would cause in yasmina’s season. don’t mistake this as me hating on robbe; he is one of my favorite isaks hands down. i can simultaneously love his character and hate what the writers did with him.

“but wiLLEM SAID—” first of all, if you yourself are straight and you are pulling willem’s words from the article to defend your opinion, i want you to step back from the situation and examine the details a little further. willem herbots, for all the speculation that has gone on, has now stated outright with no ambiguity that he is straight. i do not deny his talent as an actor; anyone who follows and reads my tags knows that i have many times before praised his skill in portraying robbe as intimately as he did in s3. but the hard pill to swallow for a lot of you is that by being straight, he lacks the inherent nuance that only personal experiences and struggles with sexual identity can bring to a character whose arc literally revolves around internalized homophobia and coming out. no amount of research can help him understand robbe’s character the way a gay actor would. and to be clear, this is not a moral condemnation against him; i’m not blaming willem for being straight, which is a wild thing to have to state lmao but you never know with tumblr. i do harbor the same sort of apprehension that i harbor towards any straight actor who plays gay roles regardless of their reasoning behind it (most of it falls somewhere along the lines of “i wanted to challenge myself” which honestly is such bullshit to me). but, to my knowledge, we have never had a single male isak who was played by an actor who is lgbt+ irl (i’m not counting skamesp because lucas doesn’t fit the original mold since he’s both isak and eskild, sorry if you have a problem with that), so i’m not exactly surprised that wtfock hasn’t broken that mold. saying all that, i do think he is incredibly sensitive and compassionate for his age and amount of experience, and it is rare to see someone answer questions with the kind of sincerity that comes through even in what appears to me is a fluff piece that is meant to please readers rather than present the most objective truths.

i will link a post here that pretty succinctly sums up my view on what willem stated about the hate crime and about how this interview happened in the first place, but something that i did notice that no one afaik has talked about: notice how willem uses I-statements to answer literally every single question in the interview up until he’s asked about the assault, where he slips almost too obviously into the royal “we” that is often characteristic of pre-fabricated answers: “The only moment we really showed... but we really wanted to show the harsh reality of being out...  it’s not something we wanted to ignore in WtFOCK.” in the same paragraph, he uses “we” 3 times, where at no point before he had done so. of course, it’s possible that he did say it at other points and those sentences simply didn’t make the final cut for the article, but i still think it’s pretty telling that all of his other answers are so grounded in his personal, individual thoughts and experiences, but that specific response is so stilted and formal it’s almost awkward. it’s very likely that he was regurgitating an answer that was fed to him from higher up, precisely because the production knew from fan responses that it would come up in any self-respecting interviewer’s questions. these are very basic PR procedures within the industry; willem, at the end of the day, is a paid actor on a show that is still in production and is bound very tightly by his contract. do not expect at any point that what he states about wtfock is fully his own opinion, as whatever he says will reflect on the show’s reputation. this is also, more importantly, why you cannot automatically associate the words and actions of a production with the words and actions of its actors; i seriously doubt that willem h or any of the other cast members personally agree with everything the show has done, but i can tell you with absolute certainty that they are contract-bound to not share their full opinions while the show is still in production. he nor any of the other actors wouldn’t be allowed to criticize writing decisions even if they wanted to. finally, please note that i am in no way trying to lessen the impact of willem answering this question in this way, fabricated or not; i am only trying to present all the facts as objectively as i can because i’ve seen 50 posts today worshipping him for giving answers that likely did not come from his own actual brain. i am asking for a little of the same objectivity in return from you all.

finishing on a personal-ish sidenote: but i have never been more aware than in this moment how completely at odds the druck and wtfock fandoms are, like i knew during the run of robbe’s season, from some replies i was getting on posts and anons in my inbox, that it seems impossible to some people that people can like (and criticize) both shows. but now in the wake of this article, it really goes to show that both sides are ready at a moment’s notice to fight each other over matters that do not need to be fought about. we can all just talk through things and try to see each other’s perspectives and, sometimes, yes, agree to disagree. for a show that preaches “everything is love” left and right, certain people really do not seem to take that message to heart. just to be clear, im not saying that you should lie down and take people’s bullshit, but i am saying that we should hear each other out more instead of jumping to conclusions based on thirdhand information.

in conclusion: no show/film/book/other form of media is perfect and we should be allowed to bring attention to their problematic aspects without being accused of blindly hating on the aforementioned medium overall.

tl;dr criticism ≠ hate, take what willem said with a grain of salt, the assault scene is not black and white, im fuckin exhausted

#wtfock #wtfock cast #willem herbots #i was gonna put this under a read more but i need yall to read this whole thing lmao #also if there are weird mistakes or jumps it's bc i jumped around from bullet to bullet writing this and only read through it once #there are also things that i did not include here bc i thought they would be called ~drastic~ but if u wanna dm me or something #trust me i have More Opinions

[skamamoroma]

Please tell me how you remain so positive! Negativity doesn't seem to bother you and I'm jealous tbh haha I wish I could not let it bother me when people shit on shows/characters I love but I take it so personally and I don't know how to stop it. Do you have any advice? It's just because I know how this fandom operates sometimes I watch clips and instead of enjoying the content, I end up thinking about how the fandom is gonna misconstrued certain bits of it to be ~problematic~ sigh.

Ah love. It makes me sad that your fandom experience isn’t as fun as it should be!

First of all, I haven’t seen any pointless negativity for a long while which means I must have blocked well. That’s a tool. Use it! There’s no shame in it. Fandom is a subjective experience and it’s meant to be fun! If it isn’t for whatever reason then try to solve that. You dictate your own fandom experience to a large extent.

Also, I am long in the tooth. I’ve been on tumblr since 2009. I’ve been in fandoms for way longer than that too. It’s a fun part of my day and I don’t allow it to be anything other than that. Fandoms are based on (for the most part) fictional stuff. That’s supposed to be fun and creative and thought provoking. If fictional stuff starts to become too serious then I think people need to assess their approach.

Some fandom things ARE important and do bring up very serious and tricky topics. That’s a wonderful thing. For example, mental health or sexuality to use the ones for s3 but also so so much stuff that people have experience with or that they find hard to discuss or have VERY ingrained opinions about. There are certain things I DO NOT touch because I have views which have been dictated by personal experience (one of the reasons why some elements of s6 of Skam France atm are a no go for me) and I know many will not share my view! But that’s ok. People go through things and yes that part of it means people will have opinions. That’s a great thing! It ISN’T when those opinions are forced upon others. I’m all up for constructive criticism and for important chats in fandom, also for ensuring spaces are safe and behaviour appropriate. I’m NOT up for anything that goes beyond that into pointless negativity etc. It’s not fun for me so I leave it behind or remove it.

I guess, look at it this way. If you’re in a cafe with all of your friends and you are all going to order. You say you’re getting an iced latte and everyone else doesn’t like them. Does that stop you from getting one? Does it make you like it less? Someone tells you they had a really disgusting one once and they’re bad for you. You know you drink them in moderation and love them and they are a treat for you. Should you let that one person stop you from enjoying that treat?

Apply that same logic to fandom! It’s a kinda cheesy analogy but I hope it helps!

“Problematic” is a word I wish would be removed from modern speech as well as “discourse” and a few others. True “problematic” stuff should absolutely be raised. Most stuff labelled as “problematic” is not at all. It is someone not agreeing, not liking it, not applying objectivity. If there’s a legitimate reason why something is “problematic” then I’m all for chatting about it because perhaps I have something to learn! I have learned a lot from folks in fandoms. As Elia in Skam It said, we shouldn’t be talking about stuff we don’t know anything about. We can offer a view but those who KNOW should talk about it.

No show is perfect. None. I adore Skam Italia s2 but I still recognise a few issues, for example. It doesn’t destroy my love. I recognise that cultures and countries and approaches are different, language is different, people may not approach stuff on the same way and shows should be open to criticism (which is why I think what Wtfock have done a few times is really cool of them). It’s not a crime! Being wrong isn’t a bad thing. If you’re grown up enough to realise you maybe don’t know everything and can use it as a way to learn... then use it! And shows should take the same approach if criticism is valid and constructive... so that part of fandom is a great thing I think. It’s why I’ve always been honest about, for example, the way Ludo Bessegato or David H as show runners have really not done themselves any favours at times (if we’re sticking with Skam as an example!). Does it mean I hate them?! No! Ludo Besse is someone I have great respect for in many ways, he cares a shit ton, he has serious talent but I fully recognise he can be dramatic and also huffy and can fail to receive constructive criticism at times. Doesn’t stop him being a great dude! I am sure I stuff up at times too!!

Where it is toxic and unhelpful... it is often folks taking fictional stuff far too seriously, imposing their own views which do not require consensus, failing to see nuance or simply because they wish to be cruel. None of that is helpful and if you don’t wish to see it, you don’t have to.

I guess I’m also older. Look, I’m tired 😂 all the time. I also have a mental health condition for which distraction can help MASSIVELY. Fandom is a part of my day alongside all other stuff that adds a bit of fun and creativity and you get to meet lovely people. If that’s not what fandom is to you then try hard to make it so! I think I’ve seen it all at this point. I also recognise that I am a bit older and so maybe things don’t affect me as much. I don’t give a shit what people think. Genuinely! I am entirely who I am and love what I love with all of the important caveats that needs... and so I guess this is all the advice I have! I hope it helps and that you can enjoy fandom the way it should be enjoyed.

Life is hard as hell at the moment in MANY ways. Don’t make something designed for fun and escape into another issue to tackle. Come chat any time ❤️

#ask #positivity #wasnt sure which fandom you were speaking of so i just considered skam in general as an example! #personal

[bellatrixobsessed1]

She even discredited and disparaged the victims without even attempting to understand their side of the story. I'm not trying to single out this one user, but it is because of these sorts of users that give the rest of Azula fans a really bad name. As an Azula fan myself, I sometimes understand why people think that there is a cult surrounding Azula because of some fans. I feel the need to distance myself from extremists to maintain more objectivity.

Kay so I’m going to answer this portion of the ask because I don’t feel comfortable answering the one that actually names said user. I’m going to be very forward with you; you’re definitely welcome in my inbox but I would rather not discuss certain users. That kind of stuff gets really messy really fast and I don’t really want a hand in that. 

Now I do agree with you that there are some problem users. Though I don’t always agree with the person you mentioned, I don’t feel like she’s one of the problematic users. Generally when I’ve talked to this person she’s been very nice and polite about our disagreements. 

However there are several users who I would agree with you are very extreme. Again, I won’t mention names but I do see a lot of users justifying everything Azula does. And I’ve seen several people say that she is not abusive and that Zuko is more of the antagonizer than the victim.  This is actually a point where I feel a bit disconnected from the rest of Azula’s fanbase. I feel as though Azula, though abused herself, is a bit of an abuser. Not physically but emotionally. Using fear to control people (which is canon) is a form of abuse. One that she learned albeit. But an abuse tactic no less. And there’s a pretty good number of fans who are dismissive of this/accuse Zuko of being a cry baby. That kind of thing kinda makes me uneasy. It makes me uneasy in the same way that people saying Azula (a 14 year old child) deserves death and a sentence as harsh as Ozai’s.

I’m not really fond of the ‘Azula did nothing wrong’ line of thinking. Because she did and she is still doing wrong things. Which is why precisely I am disappointed that Bryke apparently sees a redemption arc as ‘prolonging’ or ‘watering down the series’.

You mentioned in the first half of the ask that there’s some Tyzula ship hate. In terms of that and “which is funny because it (sokkla) is just like zutara.” You’re kind of talking to the wrong person here lol. I’m in the middle of my like 20th Sokkla fic. And I don’t like Zutara. Personally I feel like the dynamic is very different as they are four different characters entirely. And I actually do prefer Sokkla to Tyzula a bit.

However, as mentioned I do like Tyzula too and I hate it when people insist that it’s an abusive ship no matter how its written. So I can see your frusturation there. Just ship wars in general...I don’t like to fuck with those. I was part of the pro-Kataang squad back in the day. And I was caught dead in the middle of Tyzula vs Sokkla. I’ve learned my lesson after that one and really try to stay out of ship wars the best that I can. 

I can’t really comment on the Ehasz allegations because I actually have no idea what you’re talking about lol. Like I read his tweet but I don’t really follow him much beyond that. So, though I have heard via avatarfandompolice that there were some allegations about him, I have no idea what they actually are or anything about that matter. I wouldn’t mind someone enlightening me on that. 

“As an Azula fan myself, I sometimes understand why people think that there is a cult surrounding Azula because of some fans. I feel the need to distance myself from extremists to maintain more objectivity.” This I can actually 90% agree with you on. I actually feel like I’m in the same boat here. I kind of feel like I need to distance myself from the fanbase because I actually DO like the comics and I had a very positive opinion on them. But after reading so much meta I started to take a more pessimistic view. I kind of feel like there’s just a lot of negativity and pessimism in her fandom at the moment (and it isn’t entirely unwarrented, I can see why everyone is so pessimistic) and it’s kind of overwhelming. I really miss when we just shitposted (I still laugh about azulasnuthouseblog, ‘shitwreck trainpost’, and ‘ya fukt it up’) and made dumb fanart. 

I do agree that there’s a lot of extremists and that it probably pushed away a lot of those people who liked to shitpost with me. The ship war was like the nail in the coffin. 

The only thing I disagree on is the cult thing. I have made various posts now about this and about how I disagree with certain opinions of the fanbase and I don’t feel anxious over it. I’ve also made several posts kinda calling out some of this fandom’s bullshit (including the one that prompted this ask) and, knock on wood, no one has given me a hard time for it. Like I don’t feel like fellow Azula fans are gonna evict me from the fandom or hate me for posting stuff like this. And that’s what make it NOT a cult. Cults are manipulative and leave members fearing what would happen if they speak out against the majority/have a different opinion. They isolate people who dare to think differently. I don’t get this vibe from the Azula fandom. So far everyone (even some of the more radical fans) have been very cordial with me.

If anything, the Azula fandom is more of an echo chamber (an environment in which a person encounters only beliefs or opinions that coincide with their own, so that their existing views are reinforced and alternative ideas are not considered) than a cult. But I do think that alternative ideas are considered, so echo chamber doesn’t quite fit either.  

But this is just my personal experience with the fandom. I can’t say how others have been treated and I won’t try. 

All of this said, thanks for the ask, even if I can’t agree with all of it. And a thanks to the rest of Azula’s fandom for being open when discussing things with me so far. I hope that I was able to convey all of this in a way that is respectful to all parties and in a way that doesn’t throw anyone under the bus. 

If there’s someone who feels uncomfortable with me posting this one, let me know and I can take it down because I don’t want anyone to feel called out or attacked. 

#Avatar #Azula #Fandom Discourse

[johannas-motivational-insults]

You really didn’t think that one through, did you, Adora?

Like for starters, it’s not any safer for Adora to leave Catra behind than to bring her along - either way, Catra’s going to be punished for Adora’s actions if Shadow Weaver finds out. She’s the scapegoat/whipping girl, that’s how things work. And if Shadow Weaver finds out while Adora is still gone, then Catra’s stuck dealing with her alone, which is even more terrifying. That’s why Catra says, “Then I guess she let us both down,” regarding Adora leaving. Because Shadow Weaver is correct, Catra’s lying about Adora not telling her she was leaving and where she was going, but Adora not getting back on time and landing Catra in trouble is letting her down in another way.

Then Adora’s decision not to return to the Fright Zone even when Catra spells out that Shadow Weaver will hurt her if she comes back empty-handed... I will elaborate below, but suffice it to say, this is definitely letting Catra get in trouble for her actions. This is obviously a complex decision and Adora is going through a lot at the time, but if Catra’s safety was really her priority, she'd find another solution.

Quite honestly, Catra is suuuuper lucky that Hordak reacts the way he does when Shadow Weaver brings her to him, because if Shadow Weaver had her way she would be punished horribly. It’s actually a little sad to think about, because if Hordak had punished Catra instead of promoting her she probably would have left the Horde if she’d had another chance, and this would be a very different story. But I think Hordak recognized her thirst for validation and used that to his advantage. Anyway, that’s a little off topic, perhaps a discussion for another day.

More meta re. the Catradora confrontation in Thaymor under the cut!

Look, I love Adora. I really do. She is a very likeable character, in a lot of ways, and I appreciate and relate to her drive to do ‘the right thing’. But sometimes she can be a little boneheaded/shortsighted, and a lot of that seems to stem from her not recognizing her own privilege and how unfairly Catra is treated in comparison.

Obviously Adora was not wrong to leave the Horde, but I do take issue with how she left. When watching the confrontation in 1x02 initially I could see both sides - in fact, in certain places I was a little more on Adora’s side. But with the added context of the rest of the season (especially 1x11), Adora’s refusal to come back to the Fright Zone feels less heroic and more irresponsible.

At first she says she’ll only come if the Horde leaves Thaymor alone, which is a perfectly reasonable deal. She’s what they came looking for, so with the mission objective accomplished Catra could easily call off the attack. But then after a little more discussion she changes her tune and says she won’t come back at all. That shift seemed to occur because of this exchange:

“I’m saying this is wrong. They’ve been lying to us, manipulating us, Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all of them!”

“Duh! Did you just figure that out?”

Sadly, there’s a miscommunication here that results in Adora deciding to leave the Horde with or without Catra. Adora seems to interpret Catra’s flippant response to mean that she knows the Horde as a whole is evil and she doesn’t care. But what Catra’s really saying is she knows the people who raised them aren’t good people and it’s insulting that Adora never realized this before, considering the way they treated her. Then Adora asks Catra how she can be okay with that... and Adora means “How can you be okay with working for evil people?” while Catra thinks she means “How can you tolerate being treated that way?” So to Adora, Catra’s answer that it doesn’t matter because they look out for each other and they will be in charge soon sounds terrible, like she’s saying she just wants to rule the world. But what Catra means is that it’s okay because she won’t be treated that way forever, and besides, she has Adora and that makes everything more tolerable.

When you think about it, this miscommunication makes sense, because they are ultimately focusing on different things. Adora is driven by her moral compass and Catra is driven by her need for safety, something Adora doesn’t have to worry about. Though Adora’s upbringing was also not great, she had a certain amount of privilege that allowed her to care about stuff like doing the right thing. All Catra could really worry about was avoiding Shadow Weaver’s wrath, protecting herself and protecting Adora. And why would she worry about anything else? Adora was all she had, the only person who was ever kind to her and gave her a reason to care about her.

In Adora’s defense, when she says she’s not going back she immediately offers to bring Catra with her. And Catra should have gone with her, that much is certainly on her shoulders. I think she rejected that olive branch for two reasons: 1) As many posts have gone into, it probably felt awful to her that Adora suddenly cared about protecting people being abused by the Horde after doing very little to protect her from the Horde’s abuse for all these years. 2) She was finally getting to be the hero and rescue Adora for once after usually being relegated to sidekick, and Adora not only refused her help, she told her what she was doing was wrong. I understand Catra’s indignation over this, as much as I hate to admit it. She is a very prideful person but also extremely insecure after all these years of being told she is worthless and will never amount to anything. Having Adora of all people shoot her down when she feels she’s proving Shadow Weaver wrong is a huge slap in the face.

I think Catra probably would have been happy to leave the Horde under different circumstances, like if Adora had suggested they run away because of the way Catra was being treated. But Adora’s not running away with her, she’s running away for other reasons and saying she can come if she wants, almost as an afterthought. It’s not like she says, “I want to leave, but I won’t leave without you.” This leaves Catra grappling with the realization that she doesn’t mean as much to Adora as Adora means to her (or at least it feels that way to her), and that Adora does not take their promise to protect each other as seriously as she does. When she expresses her hurt and frustration that Adora would throw away “everything” (their friendship, their history, their promise) for some people she just met, Adora doesn’t understand and turns her back on her, literally and figuratively.

And that brings us to the super uncomfortable part. Catra shocking Adora is not great. Really, really not great. But, she doesn’t do that until Adora says she’s not coming back no matter what and turns to leave her behind. At that point it’s either hurt Adora or come back empty-handed and face Shadow Weaver’s wrath. On first watch I thought it was horrible that Catra did that, because it seemed like she was primarily doing it out of anger. But after watching the rest of the season, I get it. There is an anger component and that’s obviously a problem, but she’s also trying to save herself, as she expresses when Adora asks her why she’s doing this.

This is the part where I really start to get annoyed with Adora, knowing everything we learn as the season progresses. Her best friend is all but begging her to come back not only because she misses her, but because her very life could depend on it. Has Adora really forgotten that Shadow Weaver basically threatened Catra’s life when they were children and said Catra was only being kept around because of Adora? With Adora gone, Shadow Weaver loses any motivation to tolerate Catra at all, and Catra loses any protection she has (as Lonnie so kindly points out in 1x03). These aren’t difficult pieces to put together, if Adora has been paying any attention.

To be fair, Glimmer and Bow come and snap Adora up before she has a chance to respond in the moment, but she still has a choice after that, when Glimmer gives her the sword: turn into She-Ra and destroy the Horde squadron, or go back to Catra and agree to return with her, once again insisting that they leave Thaymor alone. She managed to escape the Fright Zone twice already, so clearly she could find a way out with Catra later after convincing her to come with her. Either way, everyone has been evacuated from the town already and Adora just has to decide how to get the Horde to leave. Obviously the She-Ra option is more “heroic” and dramatic and it makes a moral statement that she stands against the Horde, but destroying the squadron only takes things from bad to worse for Catra, and Adora really should recognize that. At that point Catra should leave the Horde just to protect herself from the consequences of this failure, and it’s not very clear why she doesn’t. Maybe it’s simply because she feels she can’t trust Adora anymore, and she certainly can’t trust the people Adora has aligned herself with.

Ultimately, the reason Adora’s actions in Thaymor bother me is because she chooses to prioritize a rather intangible thing - her morals - over her best friend’s safety, which is very, very tangible. Adora knows how Shadow Weaver treats Catra. She is quick to jump to the defense of complete strangers after years of largely turning a blind eye to Catra’s unfair treatment, and in the end she refuses Catra’s rescue attempt and abandons her to the mercy of Shadow Weaver. Obviously Catra does some problematic things in Thaymor too, but the stakes are much different for her, and Adora doesn’t realize that and therefore misinterprets her words and actions because, well, privilege is blind.

#she-ra #spop #meta #gifs #catradora #gifset #adora #catra #thaymor #shadow weaver #catra and shadow weaver #mine

[darrowsrising]

I saw your (maybe recent?) post about liking whatever characters you want to, regardless of personality or if other people like them, etc - and I wholeheartedly agree. However, glancing through some of your asks, it seems like you take a pretty caustic tone with any blog/anon that likes characters that you don't... for example, the lysander hate. Sure, plenty of people hate him, valid. But some people don't and that is also valid. I think the same could be said for almost any RR character.

So what is your point? That I should walk on eggshells with people who like the characters I don't? I don't do that on my blog, sorry. And where I have added shade and such are posts aimed to roast Roque and Lysander, so that my stuff doesn't perturbe the original poster with unwanted things. I do it in an amusing kind of way also, not to throw negativity left and right. Shading the characters I dislike deeply amuses me and some other people too.

If you come to my blog and want to talk about Roque and Lysander, I will accept and respect the fact that you are a fan (supposing you are). And I will do my best to analyse them without letting my opinion of them slip too much into the content. I have done that plenty of times, btw. However, I do reserve my rights to hate on them, because no matter what prompted them to do what they did, I simply dislike them. And I do that on my blog, where I have made it clear that I dislike them and warned people that if they like these character they may see me shading them.

That being said, I let people be and stan whoever they want to stan, because I also stan characters like Nero au Augustus or Apolloniu au Valii-Rath who are literally fancy garbage and I can be critical of their actions while still acknowledging that they are hella interesting and fascinating to the aesthetic hoe in me.

Stanning Roque and Lysander doesn't make you a bad person, but I will be critical of this 'oh, but Lysander has potential' or 'Roque did nothing wrong'. Because that, to me is simply annoying and untrue. But I will do so, only on my blog, I won't try to rain on someone else's parade. I can simply block people if I don't like their opinions, just like other people can block me if they don't like mine. No offence taken.

I can express my dislike of some characters on my blog, just like everyone else can on theirs. Unless I do a cross misinterpretation, I think it's ok of me to do that.

I am caustic towards Lysander, but that is the point Pierce Brown tries to deliver - he deserves the hatred. If you like how he is written, his over all arc and traits and all, I understand that, but you can also understand that I don't.

Coming to my blog and expecting me to mollycoddle what I hate/dislike is not really fair. I can understand why people like Lysander, I can respect we have different opinions, but I can't muster more than a tried, cold objectivity for as long as it is required of me to analyse them for an ask. Sometimes I would slip and be highly subjective in my analyses, it's only human.

I dislike saying that X character is morally better than another, that is true. That post about the best characters can vary from utter trash to cinnamon rolls was true. I should be able to like House Augustus and consider them the best without someone coming to tell me that House Bellona is morally better than them when in fact they are all in the same bloodydamn pot. They are all profeteering from the hierachy and their wealth and riches and the excuse that 'Nero's dad started it' is a third grade excuse.

People should like who they like and not be sorry about their choices (unless they are some far right twat), but that invites the utterly predictable - people should dislike who they dislike and not feel sorry about their choices (unless it's a gross misinterpretation).

I do like very morally questionable characters, that doesn't mean I condone what they do or agree with what they do. I extend this courtesy to every person - mutual or anon - who actually likes Roque and Lysander. But in rest, we all agree to disagree - they like them and I don't. And I don't rip their throats out for it, but I am not going to pretend that I am ok with these characters and what they did.

I am not going to say that Ajax is morally better than Lysander, because he is just as fucked up, but I do think he has some potential, but it exists only if he manages to see past his trauma. In the same pot, although maybe there is more honor and manners to him, is Diomedes. They are all facist, they are all killers, the degrees of annoyance they produce is just different. And of course the personality traits and backgrounds are all very different.

As I said, morality police needs to die and morality as a criteria is easy to spiral. You can't just prop a character you liked on a high horse and send them against a character you dislike and call the former better. Because it is a matter of taste. Some people like Sevro better than Darrow, I like Darrow better than Sevro, but I utterly adore Sevro. Ajax is utter trash, but Inhope he gets to win some in the last book, if only to spite Lysander. That is just a prefferance.

Idk, as long as I don't go full blown throat ripper bully on a person for daring to like a character I dislike, I think I am pretty valid. I can't always be impartial, although I do try my best, I am sorry when I don't manage to be as objective as I should.

I feel like as long as you can have a critical thinking about problematic aspects of your media, you are free to love whatever.

I am truly sorry people feel like I will rip their throats if they approach me with some stuff, I am quite radical about some stuff, although I try to reign that in. That is not what I intended, although it comes out like that despite my best intentions. That I do deeply apologize for!

But I won't walk on eggshells about my dislikes. I can try and I am trying to be less agressive in my responses. But my opinion of the aforementioned characters won't be mollycoddled. I can try for impartiality as far as analyses go, but when poeole post shade, I will reblog shade and relish in it.

Howl on!