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#there is some part of my brain that is going 'you cant post this its too dramatic!!'
tibialtybalt · 3 months
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I'M UNWELL ABOUT LOOP imagine being trapped and so miserable you cry "help me, someone, anyone, I need help, someone save me!" And the universe listened and said "okay :)" and scooped you up and sat you down in front of a younger you and said "you want them to be helped? saved? then help them. save them." And you do your best but you couldn't save yourself so how are you supposed to save...yourself? But you try.
While you help your understudy, you watch them. It's hard to feel any sympathy for them (you've had it worse for longer why can't they just get over themself) and it's hard to feel anything but sympathy for them (you know, you know, you've felt what they're feeling and you know it hurts, you have to make it stop). But there's very little you can do aside from talk, so most of what you do ends up being teasing them, sometimes with more teeth than either of you expect.
And y'know what? While your help amounted to absolutely nothing*, the understudy does do better than you. They make progress faster. Learn more about the trap than you ever did. They get out! They get saved! And that begs the question**: where did they go right that you went wrong? What did they do better, how are they better than you, how are they worth saving and you're not-
Because that's it, isn't it. They're not an understudy. You're a prototype. The first draft. They're new and improved, better than you in every way, and that makes them valuable and you abandoned scrap metal. No, no, you abandoned yourself, didn't you? If you had just tried harder, you would've been saved, wouldn't you? But you gave up! You told the universe to help you run away and be a mentor instead of solving your own problems so now the final draft's problems are solved and yours aren't! You don't even belong here anymore, since they stole your life, you're extraneous!! What are you supposed to do now?
*That's a lie. There are differences between you and the understudy, but the only one that matters is that they had you to help them, and you had no one to help you. Their success hinges on you being there.
**With the other footnote in mind, the question changes slightly. Not "what did they do right?", because what they did right was have you with them. The question is "Why them? How are they worth saving and you're not? Why couldn't they have helped you instead?"
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tokyoteddywolf · 1 month
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
#5am rambles#anyways ignore this as per usual im just thinking in a post that i'll delete soon. i just worry and writing it helps.#you ever wonder when you'll “grow up'? and then realize youre not even fully grown?#that theres still more to learn in life and that the mistakes you make are just that? mistakes?#that you are still so very very young in a world that is so very very old?#im almost 23. barely a quarter of my lifespan. im still a child in a way- my brain not fully formed.#you ever wonder how many mistakes you can make before you figure something out?#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt.#i was failed. and now im a failure. at almost not quite 23 years old. Maybe i wont be a failure in another few years.#i still have a while to go before I die. I'm not going to waste time thinking about it. im just going to try my best.#I have time. I can learn. Grace and patience are not endless but damn if i dont try to figure things out#first step though is meds and therapy tho. we're done with the pity party. some things you just have to accept are okay#cuz my whole life i was taught that being emotional is a weakness. its pathetic and stupid to be upset or angry about anything.#any time i wanted to show i was upset or angry i was 'wrong'. i was 'selfish' and 'dramatic'#so i suppressed and pretended i was fine. that i wasnt weak and pathetic. that i was good and not an annoyance or burden.#i am not weak. i am not pathetic. i am fine i am fine i am fine you dont need to worry about the inconvenience at your door.#sometimes the shame is so much that i cant look at myself or even think i deserve help. that therapy is for people with real problems.#that i feel like ill just be told im like this for attention or dramatics. that im such a disappointment and selfish too.#ive been a “problem” my whole life to the point i dunno if i CAN be fixed. that anxiety eats me alive every day.#therapy is supposed to give you methods to cope#i dunno if it'll work though. I forget my appointments a lot. i struggle to talk sometimes. i may be autistic but its hard to get diagnosed.#emotions are so hard to figure out.
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silverislander · 2 months
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completely unfair that i'm the last person in the house awake, consistently
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aloysarrow · 2 years
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norrizzandpia · 8 months
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can we get pt 2 of 34+35 where yn releases nonsense or positions, everyone is more confused because are we talking about the same guy?? in response all yn does is mention his thighs 💀💀
YES MAAM OFC I LOVE THIS STORYLINE
WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI? (OP81)
Summary: Oscar and Y/n always loved to mess with the fans. Fortunately, the best way to do that is spill their sex life.
Warnings: sexual conversations, language
Note: THE THIGHS 😫😫😫😫😫 SO MANY WORDS NOT ENOUGH TIME 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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ynnn Nonsense out now! 💋
Comments:
osc81fan I- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
piaosc ARE WE SURE ALL OF US ARE TALKING ABT THE CORRECT MAN?
- mclarenpiaandlan YEAH WTF HOW IS THIS OSCAR
mclarensgirlll SHE DID THIS LAST TIME AND WE NEVER RECOVERED
- landonorris ILL NEVER RECOVER.
oscarpiastri ITS ABOUT MEEEEEEEE 🤭🤭
- danielricciardo we are aware.
- maxverstappen i think youve said that enough
- charlesleclerc YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE LITTLE OSCAR 😰😰😰
- ynnn definitely not LITTLE oscar 😏
- alexalbon STOP.
——
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ynnn maybe i lied? Lookin’ at him doesn’t have me thinkin’ nonsense, it has me thinkin…
Comments:
oscarpiastri my girlfriend everyone 😀
- mclarensgirlll hes probably giggling at his phone at this very moment
- landonorris and youd be right!
maxverstappen IM SO SCARED FOR MY LIFE
- danielricciardo WE CANT ESCAPE IT
- alexalbon HE PLAYS THE SONGS EVERYWHERE
- landonorris IT NEVER ENDS.
ln4andop81 anyone else curious abt what shes going to say on that podcast next week where theyre infamous for asking abt sex????
- oscpastry i bet you oscar will forever be changed for us
- mclarensgirlll he already is 🥲
——
TWITTER
ln4andop81 IN HONOR OF 24 HOURS BEFORE Y/NS PODCAST EPISODE, DROP THE MOST SHOCKING LYRICS FROM NONSENSE DOWN BELOW
- oscpastry “you said you like my eyes and you like the make em roll” SOOOO BASICALLY WHEN WERE THOSE WORDS FALLING FROM OUR BABY’S LIPS????
- mclarenpiaandlan REAL BECAUSE HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT IS 😭😭
- mclarensgirlll I THINK THE LYRIC “opposite of soft” LET US KNOW HE IS WAYYYY MORE EXPERIENCED THAN WE THOUGHT
- piaosc DOM OSCAR????? FUCKING HOW. IN. WHAT. WORLD.
- ynnn this world! 💋
- piaosc IS THIS SOME SORT OF GAME???
- mclarenpiaandlan THE PATTERN IS PATTERNING
- mclarensgirlll ITS SO ICONIC MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE IT
——
TWITTER
ln4andop81 hows everyone doing after that podcast….
- mclarensgirlll “WHO IS OSCAR PIASTRI?” trending on twitter makes me feel less alone after listening to Y/n’s tell all
- mclarenpiaandlan host: “whats your favorite body part of oscar’s?” Y/n: “his thighs” BY THEN I ALREADY KNEW WHAT WAS COMING BUT THE HOST HAD TO KEEP GOING host: *giggling* “why?” Y/n: “10 out of 10 for riding” I THINK MY BRAIN WENT DEAD FOR A SEC
- piaosc GIRLY KEPT GOING TOO host: “did you ask or, like, how did that come about?” Y/n: “well, he was just kind of sitting there, manspread ya know, and he caught on the minute he saw the way i was looking at him. Ive never see him so excited before.” *laughing* “i think he enjoys it more than me!”
- ln4andop81 no words. Host: “so he knows you like his thighs?” Y/n: “Oh my god, yeah! I hate him for it but he purposefully wears his shortest pair of shorts around the house so when he sits, that’s all I see. I’m telling you, Oscar knows how much I love his body and he knows EXACTLY how to use it.” Host: “what do you mean?” Y/n: “just that the shirtless photo i posted of him is one of many and the rest of them could not be up on the internet for longer than 5 seconds before being taken down because they’re borderline all pornographic” OSCAR???? BABY BOY??? WHO ARE YOU.
- mclarensgirlll BRO AND THEN host: “your new song, Nonsense, mentions things being more rough than soft. Is that really true with him?” Y/n: “Are you kidding?! The fans who think he’s super innocent and pure are in for some serious whiplash when i say that he is anything but that. He’s not Oscar when we’re in bed. He’s some alter ego who has no problem fucking against a random wall.” UHHHHHHHHHHH RUE WHEN WAS THIS????
- oscarpiastri now THAT is one thing i wont be answering 😊
- ynnn knowing myself ill probably reveal it in some song in the future 🤦🏼‍♀️
- mclaren maybe try and hold off on that one plz bestie 😙
- landonorris ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^🙏🏻
- danielricciardo ^^
- alexalbon ^^^
- maxverstappen ^
- charlesleclerc ^^^^
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dizzybizz · 4 months
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hai here is a sketch dump with too many fandoms :) sorry about the ungodly amount of men here i have been going through it and by it i mean gay
ok wait i ran out of tags??? it wont let me tag them all😭😭😭 im gonna have to be sparing with them uhh i guess i will have to ramble under the cut then cus i like rambling in my tags but i cant with this one 😭
(ok im back from the ramble: it is way too long.... proceed forward if you want to see some guy just absolutely talk nonsense for entirely too long)
no cus i swear i have tried tagging more stuff than this before and never hit the limit but whatever
hello i really use this like a fkn blog huh
i just wanted to provide some thoughts on the harper and rosé one first bc its important to me 😌 cus i was thinking abt harper and how in my head and heart of hearts she would be the kid who thought you get pregnant from kissing and i dont think she ever really grew out of that belief. <- this ended up spawning the idea of harper being a sex-repulsed ace and i will die on this hill actually. fight me or die, you die either way actually nvm
this is just a buncha blorbos i dont know what to tell you really. sketch pages like these always end up so weird for me bc for some reason my brain always wants the characters in them to interact in some way. whether that be talking or just reacting to what the other is doing... its something i cant stop with, its so stupid and silly and i hate it and i love it. where else would i see kabru slowly losing his mind with how loud phoenix wright is in court????
I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OFF THE RAILS WITH THAT BUT THEN THE NEXT PAGE HAPPENED. and all i could do was laugh and ask "what the fuck am i drawing??? HOW DID WE GET HERE? WHY IS THISTLE HERE WITH LEOPIKA HELP" LIKE that page started with the big leopika and then i was like "man i miss thistle lemme draw him real quick" but the curse struck and now hes being homophobic so </3
i rlly like how the nic(k) page turned out ... i just have a lot of nicks i like drawing idk.. the lil guy is an oc,,, one day his ref sheet will be finished and itll be awesome but not for now, sorry baby, no can do. im weirdly happy with how the hands turned out for all of them tho?? so thats a W
yotasuke, murai, nick (youll never know which one im referring to. .. jkjk its hoult i love the pose there ehehhe), nic and the entire last page r my favs. i like em all but those rlly get me yknow- the olly too ofc but ive already posted him, dont mind him being here, hes part of the set. AND OVER ALL IVE BEEN HAVING SO FUN WITH SHADING BLACK AND JUST LEAVING SPOTS BLANK ITS SO ?`????
WHY IS THIS SO LONG PLS DONT READ ALL THIS THIS IS STRAIGHT UP EMBARRASSING AGHSDFGSDHJSGD im all like "yeah i dont like talking about myself or whatever" but as soon as i get to my process or blorbos or smth the floodgates fucking break open, not even burst man.
also dont mind how i havent even acknowledged pingas twink pokemon counterpart. hes just here for shits and giggles i dont know the guy like at all, i watched a handful of eps of horizons and that was it RIP
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81folklore · 8 months
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helpless - GR63
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pairings: george russell x hamilton!ensemble!reader (fc: ella kora)
summary: george ends his softlaunch with a cast member of hamilton on the westend
authors note: sorry for not posting in forever but ive had no motivation and i cant find the want to finish some of my drafts so have a brand new smau thats been BREWING in my brain ever since i saw hamilton the other week. its literally one my favorite musicals so you know i had to incorporate my two interests, you dont need to have seen hamilton or know about the story for this!
important: rg63 is george’s private instagram
masterlist
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georgerussell63
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liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 366,450 others
water, sports and sunsets☀️
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user7 shirtless george is back!!
user10 hes so…
user45 THE SOFTLAUNCH HAS TO END SOON RIGHT😭😭
user12 i miss when george wouldnt make me feel single every post😔
yourusername oh myyy🫠
yourusername
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liked by jakeh_j, lilymhe and 235 others
smiles (mostly) all round this summer☀️
tagged: rg63 and jakeh_j
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rg63 miss you darling🤍
yourusername miss you too love💜
jakeh_j dinner soon?
yourusername yes!! g is coming to a show soon so we can do it then :)
jakeh_j sounds good👍
user6 cant wait to see you in hamilton!
yourfriend cutie🫶
georgerussell63 and alex_albon have added to their stories
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yourusername ahhh cant wait to see you all💜
f1updates
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liked by user72, user1 and 2367 others
george, alex and lily with fans today in london
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user1 im the one in the third photo, they were in a rush as they had to go to the theatre but they were all so sweet and took the time to sign a hat i had!
user10 was anyone else with them?
user1 there wasnt! i dont think george was with his girlfriend but she could’ve been waiting for them somewhere else☺️
user72 idk why them going to the theatre together is funny but it is😭
user5 right?? it feels so random😭
user53 i can’t believe they watched hamilton before me
georgerussell63
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liked by alex_albon, yourusername and 872,426 others
i have been with you since the beginning of your incredible journey of living out your dream of being in the west end. i know how much getting this part in hamilton meant to you and getting to see you on stage brings me so much joy, forever proud of you darling🤍
tagged yourusername
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yourusername george☹️i will love you forever and ever thank you soso much for being by my side💜
yourusername you have no idea how happy it makes me to know you are in the crowd
alex_albon thanks for being my friend so lily can see her favorite musical😁
georgerussell63 yeah no worries man👊
yourusername alex i hope you know its me she loves to see, not hamilton🤨
alex_albon your wrong.
lilymhe shes very much correct🫶
user7 WHAT IS HAPPENING
user5 HARD LAUNCH HARD LAUNCH
user25 WAKE UP GEORGE POSTED HER AHHHH user6
user6 OMG I LITERALLY SAW HER THE OTHER DAY😭
user10 this is so cute (im sobbing)
user8 wow the highway is such a good place to stargaze!!
user83 i cannot cope why is this so🫠🫠
lewishamilton 💜💜
yourusername
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liked by georgerussell63, lilymhe and 6273 others
i look into your eyes and the skys the limit. georgie my love for you is timeless, each day i think about how lucky i am to have you by my side and how lucky i am to get to be the one to love you. you have changed the way i view the world and myself and my life will always be better now youve entered it, and no matter what this chapter in our lives will stick with me forever and always💜
tagged georgerussell63
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georgerussell63 i am so grateful you have come into my life
georgerussell63 i love you so much darling
yourusername i will never stop loving you🫶
lilymhe when will i get posts like this☹️
yourusername yours is next lovely🤭
alex_albon babe?? i post you all the time
lilymhe and yet you havent used a lyric from hamilton🤨
user16 oh i love them so much😭
user45 my😭love😭for😭you😭is😭timeless😭
user12 hahhaa im so happy for you😭😭
jakej_h i hate people in love
yourusername you love us really😁
user9 MY HEART CANNOT TAKE THIS
user7 OH MY GOD GEORGE LOOKS SO GOOD🫠
liked by yourusername and others
user101 george is so boyfriend🤭
user62 that first picture😮‍💨
user99 they are so in love😭
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moonsaver · 2 months
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Hi! It’s @pix3lplays! (On anon because I have another account and I can’t switch which account I’m asking from haha)
I wanted to say thanks for being so nice when I responded to your comment on one of my posts~I really appreciated what you said hehe, definitely made me feel bit more confident and inspired me to keep writing :)
So I thought I’d throw an ask out since requests are open~
If you’re not interested no problem but I’ve thought about it a little and I thought maybe you’d have some thoughts.
Yandere!Sunday when his darling somehow gets seriously hurt, how do you think he’d feel, what would he do?
Personally I think he’s a complete control freak already when it comes to reader, so it just gets WORSE…ANYWAYS I wanna hear YOUR thoughts if you’re interested in the prompt hehe~ also if you’ve already talked about this oops I must’ve missed it, sorry in advance-
But yeah thanks so much, it was really cool to talk to you, take care of yourself, please!!
Hello Pixel! Thank you for sending in this ask, you're very sweet haha <3 i like your writing and im glad i helped you become more confident in it. Also,same issue here, i cant send asks from this account specifically, so i use anon or just use my personal blog to send asks.
Anyways, onto the request,
Ooh, my Yan!Sunday brain is ticking.. he really is an absolute control freak, and is a bit of a mess when he sees you seriously injured. A miscalculation, ignorance, negligence, or perhaps just.. an oversight from his part? Whatever the reason is, he's in high-drive now, and absolutely stressed about it. He only has a worried and distant look on his face, and at this stage he's prone to easily snapping at anyone, but his mind would be on a completely different level of stress. How dare they? How dare anyone lay a filthy inch of a finger on you? To stain you with their sins, and to breach your skin in such a grotesque manner.. he's absolutely enraged.
He insists on tending to you himself personally, unless it's so serious paramedics have to be involved. Stays by your side until he cant, sitting on the egde of the bed, body turned halfway to face you, fingers ghosting the edge of your face with tenderness.
However, this tenderness is only limited to your recovery period.
After you wake up or recover a bit, practically any freedom you would have had is gone. Completely.
Scolds you, borderline yells at you, holds you still with a deathly tight grip on your arms, forcing you to look into his eyes. This happened because you left. This happened because you were out of his watch. This all happened because of your freedom. Don't you dare even bother mentioning going out anywhere. You will be surveillanced almost all the time. He spends a suffocating amount of time next to you, harshly spitting back whenever you try to protest or reason with him. His words aren't gentle at all, and you're getting on his nerves. Perhaps he should just look over you himself, force you into a borderline coma in the dream fluid, and deal swiftly with the perpetrators.
Robin catches wind of this at some point.. she tells you that he's just worried, and there's a lot of people that don't quite hold The Family in high regards. Just.. its okay. Let him do this.
Let him pick out your clothes, brush your hair, check your healing wounds, gently ebb the water over them as you bathe, and kiss the skin of your shoulder when both of you stay silent after another argument.
If you still continue arguing.. he doesn't have a choice. He slumps a bit, a hand coming up to massage his temple as he sighs, and tells you in a softer voice that he's terrified. The worst thing that could happen did happen. He almost lost you. Can't you just go with it and let him be assured? You're dragging it out much more than it needs to be. He's spent many sleepless nights, ideas of dreamscapes turning into nightmares as the image of your hurt face flashes in his mind. Just cooperate, for Aeons' sake.
And no one speaks after that. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates you as a sort of final resort. Surely, you'd understand. It's not like it's far from the truth anyway. He is scared. But more than that, he's enraged this happened in the first place.
Adding on more to it,
Once things calm down.. in a twisted sort of way, he realizes just how perfectly he can get you under his complete control from these events. He may even not so subtly orchestrate similar events to scare you, to keep you in check, forcing you to rely on him completely, as he swoops in at the right time, acting as some kind of a "savior". Its a sick mindset, and he's not ashamed of it. Oh dear, you were just so pleasantly compliant after that event. And it just solidifies his statement that you shouldn't be going outside anymore, or be constantly accompanied by the Bloodhound Family guards, after only a few incidents of various threat levels.
In the end, it's a cycle that repeats up until you finally give in and let him take any and all freedom you have. He sets down your hairbrush with a gentle 'clack', kisses the crown of your head, and tells you it's alright. He will take such good care of you. Just listen to him. Listen to his every word. He has your best intentions in mind. Don't think about anything, anyone. You're a smart girl, surely you understand?
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pinkrecs · 2 years
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pinkrecs’s bts yandere fic recs
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[POSTED ON JULY 12th 2022]
note: this is most (honestly just checkout all of these authors’ masterlists--there’s more great gems) of my favorite yandere bts recs! please show much love to our wonderful authors. the yandere genre does contain triggering themes (ex: representation of toxic relationships, possessive/obsessive behavior, non-con/dub-con, violent behavior, etc). read at your own risk + check out the author’s notes. ENJOYYY ^^
i would love to give each fic a detailed comment on how i love it but i lack the words and writing capabilities to do that. so hope a short spoiler-free comment will do (sorry). GO GIVE THESE FICS A LIKE, REBLOG, OR COMMENT!!!!
POLY/MULTI:
- death valley by @bangtangalicious 
↳ gang + rocker + fightclub au + ot7 x reader. my brain is dizzy & fucked (in a good way) after reading this. each member gets their own time to shine and the characterizations of each member are crazy. this fic is a messy ass rollercoaster and the smut is scrumptious too!!
- gumiho cisswap bangtan x reader by @bloodsweattearscatharsis
↳ gumiho + cisswap au + poly ot7 x reader. its obvious from the title since the author mentioned that they haven’t made a title for the fic lol. honestly, go give this a read because the dynamic of ot7 is quite fun and i LOOVEE the suspense that from each chapter. all of them could run me over anytime and also HOT WOMEENNNNN ayyyyyyyyy go read bc it needs more luv
- house of serpents by @smasmashie
↳ mafia au + ot7 x reader. every character in here needs to go therapy but also not because i need to see more drama unfold. ot7 seems to care for the mc but their actions shown are... uhmm... questionable. but that makes this fic good though! reading each chapter like it’s the morning newspaper 
- in your dreams by @voidswan
↳ idolverse au + vmin x reader. GOD THIS WAS INTENSE, i was shaking, gasping, and throwing uppp!! vmins are menaces in this one but god you can’t help but want more D: i’m like the mc--who’s a moth attracted to the flame.
- lilies of the valley by @girlmeetsliv3
↳ a/b/o au + poly ot7 x reader. each relationships between the members and towards reader is mysterious and there was underlying tension of meeting the pack’s expectation. in some way, it gets uncomfy at some parts yet that is what keeps each chapter an enjoyable read.
- lovesick by @angelicyoongie
↳ soulmate au + ot7 x reader. mc is very unlucky gal... not only having one BUT SEVEN yandere as soulmates lmaoo.. and the soulmark inflicts on both people if one of them gets hurt. that’s rough damn! i’m still unsure if all of them know that all of them are sending her letters. keep notifications ON for this fic 
- nephilim by @royallyjoon 
↳ cult + supernatural au + poly ot7 x reader. it was defintlely chilling while i read this. while there’s some sense of normalcy, the larger control of the cult makes keeps us feeling uneasy. 
- on the first day of christmas, my true love gave to me by @forever-once-gone 
↳ ceo + christmas au + poly namkook x reader. namkook is crazy and unhinged when they show their true colors. jungkook is very VERY sweet tho i cant hate him rip
- strangers by @bestaez
↳ strangers from hell au + ot7 x reader. i haven’t read watched the kdrama so i can’t compare between the two. this is definitely interesting as we can see SOME insight to how ot7 plans it and covers up their tracks to avoid getting caught. i hope the mc can get the tf out that apartment and we can see the reasoning for these actions of ot7 in future chapters
- school f*cking sucks! series by @sluttyandere
↳ high school au + maknae line x reader. all characters are of legal age btw! sucks to be mc because she just getting snatched from each guy like that. and she’s the class president but kinda powerless since two of them control her status at the school. all three of them are massively wicked and im kinda digging it LMAO
- thou shall not steal by @xherxx
↳ mafia + spy + enemies to lovers au + poly ot7 x reader. as the author mentioned, this fic is on the lighter side of the yandere spectrum. i love the mc in this fic. a girlboss icon actually. adored every interactions between the mc and each member. it’s a VERY pleasant read lol
- where three stars meet by @girlmeetsliv3
↳ poly sope x reader. this felt like a movie to this. i could picture everything in my head and sope was quite mysterious in this. and the little details placed throughout the story makes it enticing to continue reading. 
- “why you look so pretty when you cry?” by @minniepetals 
↳ mafia au + poly ot7 x reader. the way ot7 brings hopes up for the mc before crushing them down so she breaks and realizes that her only option is them is tragic for the mc... yet it’s a whole serve!
MISC (aka idk where to categorize these lol):
- never ever after by killingpeach (AO3)
↳ fairy tale au + ot7 x oc. each member is based on a character of well known fairy tales. for the mc to leave the story, she must make the member of that fairy to fall in love with her for “the end” to happen. i love the author’s versions of these fairy tales. each time the fairy tale ends, ik the oc is like: “i won... but at what cost??”
- seven princes of campus series by @bibbykins 
↳ college au + ot7 x reader. this series includes various fics with each member and their s/o and is more on the softer side of yandere! each couple is cute and the build up of how each became to be to great!
- tatemae; 建前 series by @99liners
↳ trophy wife au + ot7 x reader. this series includes various fics with each member and their s/o. the gaslighting and manipulation is wild in these fics y’all. and each time, the ending of the fic makes think like: damn... these men not seeing the pearly white gates of heaven
- the tarot series by @flowesona​ 
↳ ot7 x reader. this series includes various fics with each member and their s/o and “each inspired by one of the major arcana tarot cards.” i love this concept and each plot is easily able to get into. 
MEMBER X MEMBER:
- desire by kyoigi (AO3)
↳ demon au + jikook. demon jimin is hot yet creepy at the same time. and the way jimin goes through his inner turmoil before realizing his feelings for jk + jk starting to piece everything together?! just scrumptious 
- mused obsession series by @sombreboy + @chimoona
↳ photography + model au + jikook. the way jimin falls into jk manipulative and obsessive nature is crazy yall... and how they show their devotion towards each other? fucked up yet i can’t keep my eyes away from it!
- photos of you (and where I should be) by korknight (AO3)
↳ photography + rapper au + yoonkook. jungkook is risking it ALL for yoongi! down MASSIVELY bad yet jk gaslights himself into his actions are good for yoongi. 
- watching you, watching me by mellifluous_kim (AO3)
↳ idolverse au + yoonkook. THE TWIST? you knew my jaw FELL to the FLOOR?!? it’s a must-read because everything is not what it seems D:
KIM SEOKJIN:
- carnal by @kosmosguk
↳  vampire au. mc folded that quick... honestly same here too! just immaculate *chefs kiss*
- contact by @gorehsk
↳ alien au. pure filth and i love it.  
- rose gold by @sweetwolfcupcake 
↳ idolverse au. jin is quite eerie in this fic. he’s subtle with his yandereness and  calculated with his actions.
- the baron by @therealmintedmango​ (AO3)
↳ historical au. jin is charming and no one can suspect a damn thing. a fun read!! 
- the lost, the found, and the treasured by @forever-once-gone
↳  reincarnation + royalty au. so well-written!! there’s small details in the story and by the end... you see piece together. seokjin waited for a long time and i could see why (even though it’s quite haunting). 
MIN YOONGI:
- ash and cinder by @chimchimsauce 
↳ cinderella au. a cinderella retelling with yoongi as our prince. great fic with the yandere twist!
- beloved by @bang-tan-bitches
↳ historical + empire au. this fic was a RIDE. mc is a supportive sister yet she unknowingly attraction of yoongi. his desire is eerie and attractive at the same time. 
- beneath the world by @nomnomsik
↳ yoongi is down bad... and his notebook 😭😭
- control by @taeyohonic 
↳ idolverse au. damn a twisted universe of bangtan. yoongi’s character is a massive dick in this one
- exitus acta probat by @bang-tan-bitches
↳ mafia au. can he also snatch me away pls too
- lineage by @kosmosguk
↳ royalty au. god the twist? you gotta read this, it’s a masterpiece.
- the man in the moon by @worldwidemochiguy
↳ lowkey reading was comforting in some sort. like i was soft for yoongi’s character by the end :3
- the music of the night by @bestaez
↳ phantom of the opera au. i was smiling near the ending but then that had to happen lol
JUNG HOSEOK:
- angel by @worldwidemochiguy 
↳ best friend au. hoseok is affectionate, sweet, and insane in this one. 
- forbidden fruit by @deepdarkdelights
↳ organized crime au. mc’s lack of fear has gotten her into some trouble... but it’s jung hoseok--it’s alright!!
- may the odds be ever in your favor by @yandearest 
↳ hunger games au. this fic is incompeleted but the author left spoilers for the ending. i highly suggest checking out this fic--it’s very well written!
- orgasms on the verge of a nervous breakdown by @sluttyandere
↳ high school + party au. wow this was quite a lot to handle. pls note there’s non-con. in conclusion: trust nobody
- toska by @chummywchimmy
↳ a/b/o + werewolves au. hoseok is sweet and all but lord that bird gift LMAO. 
KIM NAMJOON:
- a dangerous game by @chaoticpuff17 
↳ mafia au. joonie does not know how to give up... prayers for the mc
- deviant by @jkeuphoriadreamland + @chimoona
↳ this fic is one of the most memorable fics i read. namjoon is so cunning and cocky piece of shit. 
- fôret de cauchemars by @kosmosguk
↳ sleep psychiatrist au. i massively agree that this fic is one hell of a rollercoaster. thrilling and creepy!!
- lady of the night by @deepdarkdelights 
↳ victorian + time travel + jack the ripper au. this joon lives in my mind to this day. enjoyed the mc figuring out what the hell is happening while scolding namjoon’s misogynistic ideas.
- let the villain win by @lemonjoonah 
↳ author au. let me tell you that joonie’s character will have you memorized and shocked!!
- moonstruck by @lovelyspring7
↳ mafia + florist au. this is fic did what it gotta do... and IT SERVED!!! 
- used to disappointment by @girlmeetsliv3
↳ nerd au. gosh i would also feel like a disappointment if i was in school with namjoon. but joonie is caring in this one (?)
PARK JIMIN:
- apothic by @jiminstonic
↳ zombie au. zombie jimin is sweet towards for the mc, but his actions went a lit extreme... ig that’s what he gotta do? slay?
- arte factum by @lolabangtan
↳ artifical intelligence + sci-fi au. fuck me up android jimin!@(31!!!! he’s a little bit eerie but we can OVERLOOK that :D
- charming by @bangtans-apollo
↳ cinderella au. *chefs kiss* prince jimin needs a therapy session because he’s very overbearing and possessive. you never know when he gotta explode!
- curiosity brought it back by catslullaby (AO3)
↳ CURIOSITY DID BRING IT BACK!!!!!! one of my all time favs. the way mc decided to make jimin jealous and she got what she wanted! but she also bargained more than what she can afford lool
- neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland
↳ neighbors + stalker au. toxic? yes. hot? yes.
- otherworldly by @sinning-on-a-sunday 
↳ coraline au. i am ashamed to say that i’m not mad at the ending. i would bend my knees for other jimin.
- porcelain by @deepdarkdelights
↳ dollmaker au. i’m not just screaming at jimin, i’m also screaming at the grandma.
- spirited away by @out-of-jams 
↳ spirited away au. i already watched spirited away and this fic takes it as inspiration to create something different as it own. jimin is supposed to be someone we can rely on... but the writing has good job of conveying the gut feeling of something that isn’t right :D
- the owner by @shumidehiro
↳ ghost au. i like the mc in this! love that she is respectful to the spirits and i can see how ghost jimin holds his resentment from.
- treasure by @sombreboy
↳ faerie dragon hybrid au. that took a dark turn but who can’t resist jimin? lets be REALLL
KIM TAEHYUNG:
- daffodil dreams by @sombreboy 
↳ murder suspect + therapist au. the way tae and mc are attracted towards each other is kinda in push and pull in way. and when they give into each other, it feels conflicting since it feels right but wrong for the two to be together. a thrilling read!!
- devotion by @sweetbunnykook 
↳ childhood friends au. the yearning?? the tension?? and when it blows up between the two, it’s completely worth it in the end. beautifully written!!
- dura lex, sed lex by @go1denjeon
↳ law au. tae is so mysterious in this fic. you know what you’re for when you read this, you just don’t know when tae decides to reveal his true colors. in hindsight, he acts like ordinary citizen yet ill think we’ll see more of his true colors in later chapters.
- like chalk and cheese by @helenazbmrskai 
↳ tae def helped the mc bring out the craziness in her. it’s refreshing read from most yandere fics as we start to see more of the roles reversed. 
- poison apple by @jooniyah 
↳ moneylender au. this is one of more darker fics. mc doesn’t give up nor so does tae. his character is crazy and im impressed how she keeps her sanity still. 
- purple people eater by @therealmintedmango (AO3)
↳ alien au. ik the title of this fic sounds crazy and the fic is. tae is adorable in the fic (besides the shit he pulled in the end). 
- the phantom by @darkestcorners
↳ paranormal + parallel universe/time travel au. tae’s character in this is fucking scary actually. i probably been dead by now if i was mc in that situation. 
- the treachery and reprisal by @min-hoax
↳ tae got ISSUES. and jimin??? my gasp was so damn loud at the end. that’s it. 
- violets: memories [part one] / violets: realities [part two] by @emoboijk 
↳ stalker au. tae and mc are unhealthy for each other but they still got feelings for each other... love how mc friends are there to support her :D
JEON JUNGKOOK:
- brother knows best by @cosmostae
↳ stepbrother au. jungkook is so hot and goodass smut. gulity-pleasure fic :D
- cardio by kaiseuphoria (AO3)
↳ personal trainer au. jungkook is so sweet but so insane all at once??&!6? this fic is a perfect mix of sweetness and creepiness. 
- cruel intentions by @explicit-tae
↳ mafia au. the first chapter was just recently out and i’m glad the mc got out of the situation. but since it’s the first chapter, i wonder when is jungkook going take her and the baby back? eagerly waiting for the second chapter!
- deception by @kthyg
↳ gang au. this fic is interesting in a way that mc likes jk long before jk likes her. jk gotta manage his anger and sort his shit out first. 
- flower petal by @royallyjoon 
↳ empire + reincarnation au. this two together is tragic. mc did what she gotta for everyone’s sake and that ended up... not so well many years later...
- forever afterthough by sorvette (AO3)
↳ fantasy + vampire + werewolves au + implied poly ot7 x reader. god this was a RIDE. the progress between the mc and jungkook is sweet and i enjoyed their bond together. writing felt like a kinda like dream because this is so well written!!
- play date trilogy by @worldwidemochiguy
↳  the inner turmoil within the mc between leaving and staying lets me know that jk got her bad... honestly same tho
- polarity by @darkestcorners 
↳ best friend’s boyfriend + college au. YOU GUYS WILL NOT GET IT UNTIL YOU READ THIS FIC. like i would smash my head everytime so i wipe OUT my memories and reread this fic all over again. the plot twists, the mind games, and how realistic this setting is in this fic got me fucked in all sorts of places. without being physical, jk uses all types of tactics to overtake mc’s mind. this is a must read. 
- taking over you by @go1denjeon
↳ idolverse au. love the mc’s approach this situation. jk’s character in this fic is actually fucking sick and twisted. at some parts, i just got very uncomfy and got the chills. 
- the crimson shell by @angelicyoongie 
↳ mermen au. do not think this is your friendly mermaid au. merkoo in this fic his claws, spikey teeth, and clicks his mouth to communicate. poor mc in this, she went through SHIT
- the friendly ghost by @darkestcorners 
↳ ghost au. ghostkoo is very sweet. he could never do wrong--until the end RIP :D
- to obtain the flower / primrose [sequel] by @mingshits 
↳ empire au. who knew that mc’s actions toward jk during childhood could leave a result like this lol? this fic was a whole serve, def must read. each time mc takes one step, jk is FIVE steps ahead her LMAO
- you by @whoretan 
↳ college + stalker au. the first chapter recently released and i’m invested on what’s going to happen to the next chapter. everyone’s motive in this fic is somewhat unclear and the mc here is quite unreliable. can’t wait for shit to happen 
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bugsinshoes · 17 days
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ok so i just watched @fordtato and @hkthatgffan 's respective videos about their interview with THE alex hirsch and i wanna just say OH MY GOD like SERIOUSLY
im gonna put my thoughts under the cut so theres no spoilers if you havent seen it already (BUT GO WATCH THEM NOW PLEASE !!!) + its gonna be LONG so BEAR WITH ME
ok, so i have MANY thoughts so sorry if none of this is coherent 😭 (this is not in chronological order of when the questions were asked, just me spewing out my totally normal thoughts about this interview so apologies for that)
starting off:
THE BABY IS SHERMIE?!?!?!? IM SO SO GLAD WE FINALLY HAVE CONFIRMATION WE CAN FINALLY LEAVE THIS TO REST !! I WAS RIGHT THOUGH SO HA !!! ACTUALLY SCREAMING !! TIMELINE BE DAMNED (also another thanks to hana, your timeline video is genuinely awesome. i never shut up about it. ever. any time i talk to my friends abt gf and i need to refer to the timeline i go: "IN HANA'S VIDEO-") anyways, i do understand it was a last minute decision on the writer's part of "oh. dipper and mabel need a grandfather, its not ford, and its sure as FUCK not gonna be stan sooo... third brother?" and i do understand alex being like, "oh, this is about ford and stan only having eachother" so i think making shermie younger was a GOOD THING? like, stan and ford had 18 years of just them so shermie wasnt in the picture, so stan and ford technically grew up on their own so ig it works? also, when stan got kicked out, he never got to see shermie grow up, probably only saw him at events when he had to pretend to be ford (post-1983) and as for ford himself, he was too busy in college and gravity falls to really visit the family so... it works! (despite everything)
that aside, lets talk about THE CRUMBS??? like i have some quotes here because i have a LOT to say:
"theyre both so damaged and they desperately need each other" - alex hirsch (talking about stan and ford)
LIKE SUIUHUSHUSH i HATE these brothers SO MUCH (LIES) i cant actually properly express my thoughts because WOW like its clear that they both have their own trauma and they NEED to address it but theyre both too STUBBORN to do so. theyve both been alone for 40ish years so of course they need each other. they grew up by the hip, so theres no surprise that they both need each other (whether they like it or not)
"[ford's] grateful for the forgiveness he thinks he doesnt deserve" -alex hirsch
ford thinks so lowly of himself at times it HURTS. like the lines in the journal about "only then would the freak return a hero" or about his guilt with bill and everything its just so important to his character im so glad we got so much ford content in this interview. like i am EATING ALL THIS UP RN
"[ford] has to always have a mission in front of him, because if he doesnt have a mission in front of him, hes thinking how have i treated people in my life?" - alex hirsch
ford distracting himself with things instead of facing his problems. probably something he had to do a lot, especially with his time in the multiverse. but it really hurts because i can imagine in the 60s, they never had any great coping mechanisms? so i can assume ford was just conditioned to distract himself from stuff so he never learned how to deal with things. and i KNOW in the journal hes like "i meditate!" and im sure that does help somewhat, but it doesnt address the issue itself soooo... sorry ford, but you cant just breathe your way out of everything
ALSO alex calling ford and fiddlefords falling out a "BREAKUP" (air quotes used) BUT A BREAKUP??? this is just adding fuel to my fiddauthor-infested brain rn. i CANT
and alex saying mcgucket is thinking like, "oh i gotta be a better partner" is HEART SHATTERING like the whole talk about fiddleford being "the building guy" who is kind of just there to make machines and please ford. its honestly so heartbreaking because fiddleford loves ford so much he'd leave his wife and child to go to absolute nowhere, oregon and the fact ford is too arrogant to see fiddlefords admiration and overall love for him its just IUIUAHHAS
and i do wanna say, i KNOW bill played a big part in this, by stroking fords ego and buttering him up with his kind words because he knew exactly what ford wanted to hear and that really affected how ford and fidds' relationship was like but THATS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME. all i know is that ford isnt entirely to blame, but he still is a massive arrogant asshole and he wasnt the best person to fidds at times (love him tho <3)
but im actually so happy because this interview sheds SO much light onto FORD bcs we BARELY got to know him, and hearing it from MR HIRSCH HIMSELF is just so good because we KNOW its a reliable source because its coming from ALEX YK??? like he wrote ford so he probably knows "oh yeah, that man is guilt-ridden as FUCK" and im so glad we get some crumbs of this guy i cant get enough of him !!! (impatiently waiting for the book of bill)
ANNNDD THE TALK ABOUT MAYBE GETTING A SEA GRUNKS SPINOFF/MINISERIES??? I WOULD EXPLODE GENUINELY ANYTHING WITH MY FAVOURITE OLD MEN PLEASE !! i would genuinely love to see more of their dynamic and how everything is after weirdmaggeddon and like dealing with trauma and UGHHH i would kill for stan/ford content PLEASE
also...
hippie ford.
hippie. ford.
i am never getting over this (im internally SCREECHING)
ANYWAYS THAT WAS MY RANT ABT MY FAV THINGS FROM THE INTERVIEW THAT WAS A LOT GODDAMN
im genuinely so happy with all the questions that got answered, as well as getting some deeper insight into characters and stuff. IM NEVER GETTING OVER THE AMOUNT OF FIDDAUTHOR CRUMBS YOU GUYS
im gonna end this by saying another MASSIVE thank you to hana and hk !! you both put so much effort into your respective videos and it was super super cool !! this was totally worth the wait !!! :D
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mothmothwoth · 2 months
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Oh Brandon Roger’s the man that you are,,,, No but seriously I NEED to kiss him on the mouth I ALSO need to kiss Bryce tankthrust. I got fucking nothing, ITS BRYCE TANKTHRUST. HAVE YOU SEEN HOW GORGEOUS SHE IS??
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Yeah she killed all those people but God forbid women do anything.
This is actually a post trying to convince you to watch Magic funhouse, you got fucking punked. (I do love Bryce Tankthrust though. I just rewatched Stuff & Sam and she is CLEARLY the best part) But I don’t think anyone talks about Magic funhouse enough or if they do they are in the woodworks and I NEED this to be more liked. This show fucking gutted me in 2017 when I watched the whole thing ON. VRV. WITH ADS. Because I didn’t know how to pirate things yet. Magic funhouse has stuck with me since and it’s been fucking plaguing me. for a while I was convinced it was lost media or some shit my brain made up but then I found it again AND HOLY BALLS. Arlo is the fucking coolest piece of shit here and I want to put him through a wood chipper (affectionate) but I also want to see him finally be happy. It’s terrible! look at what it’s doing to me! It sucks it got cancelled but I could live if THERE WAS ANY OTHER CONTENT. BRO WHERE ARE MY MAGIC FUNHOUSE FANS. IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF. MAGIC FUNHOUSE CAST WAS FUCKING AMAZING. THEY ARE MY FUCKING FAMILY AND I LOVE ALL THOSE ASSHOLES.
I have watched Magic funhouse so many times. PLEASE. SOMEONE GET INTO IT. IVE BEEN DYING HERE FOR LIKE 7 YEARS. I AM ABOUT TO MAKE A MAGIC FUNHOUSE ANIMATIC ABOUT DAVE AND ARLOS RELATIONSHIP TO THE SECOND VERSE OF I CANT DECIDE. SOMEONE FUCKING STOP ME.
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xsoleil boys x reader || wedding day
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a/n: im bored as hell now guys 😭 im just gonna like post a bunch of headcanon stuff LOL i might post like fanfics, but thats a maybe wwww ALSO ALSO starting to reaaally like the later waves of niji, so ill prob focus on mainly xsoleil, noctyx, iluna, etc. ill dribble in some luxiem from time to time, but like the other waves need attention too 🙌 i might do some of the fem waves, but im not sure how to write those LOL
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HEX HAYWIRE
bro this man's voice makes my brain go haywire
anyways uh
would definitely just be like very happy and stoic during yalls wedding
he'd treat you like his pretty princess/prince
anyways uhhh he would be that kind of romantic person to like take your hand and kiss it once you go to the front
oh my lord, im struggling to find his green flags when all i listen to from his asmrs are the yandere ones
UHM...... i mean like reception would be cute, like he'd dance with you
like beauty and the beast vibes ykkk
help im genuinely struggling w anything thats positive about marrying him 💀
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DOPPIO DROPSCYTHE
AWWW HED BE SMILING AND LIKE EXCITED
LIKE HE WOULD BE WAITING FOR YOU EXCITEDLY AT THE FRONT
i feel like doppio would just be generally so excited and happy hes finally marrying the person he loves so much
he would fix his hair JUST FOR THIS
this is also the only event he will never be late to
oh god he would be so nervous when the ceremony actually starts
like hes worried he'll mess up his parts or someone will object
BUT it probably wont happen and itll be a great wedding!!
reception!doppio would be fucking lit
HE WOULD BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
he'd already be making dad jokes even if he isnt a dad yet
i swear, he would be kissing your forehead or cheek every few minutes
oh my goodness, drunk doppio would be so sweet
like i can just imagine him getting tipsy while like the maid of honor and the groomsman doing their little speech things and him getting really emotional
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VER VERMILLION
honestly, i think he would cry at yalls wedding
like, he just screams 'emotionally fragile man on occasion'
the second he sees you in your wedding dress/suit/wtv, he'll start tearing up knowing that yall r gonna be married
and he loves you ya know
he'd hide the fact he was tearing up when you get to the front www
five bucks, doppio would be stifling his laughter when he sees ver crying
reception would be wholesome
ver would be whispering things to you while you guys dance
and not just random things
like i mean in korean
yeah his cute ass voice when he talks in korean
the voice where you want to keel over and throw up because it's really goddamn adorable and kind of attractive because people who speak more than one language is always somewhat attractive
tipsy ver is something to live for
it doesn't always happen but when it does its either hilarious as fuck or really cute and wholesome
like when he gets drunk, there's a 50% chance he starts to emote on the dance floor with an equally drunk doppio
or he could be holding your hand the whole time and staying by your side
a/n: WWWW im sorry i half assed hex's hcs LMAO i just genuinely cant see something that isnt overly explicit or kinky that wouldnt happen on ur wedding so thats why his is like the shortest lmao 💀 errhmm yeah, also ver is my #1 oshi thats why he has like the uh longest one LMAO UHHM yeah whatever lols have a good timezone
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f1monaco24 · 4 months
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Lando Norris x reader
well kind of, I going to be honest I hate writing with y/n so I'm almost always going to write with Olive.
Olive will be used mostly but if it is different people with she is with its like a different universe lol.
PSA
I do not know these people so its all made up.
Lando and Olive have known each other for years now, they meet through Max and what happens when people start to notice their connection on one of Max's live streams.
Sorry about the French It is translated so if it is wrong please let me know. It will make more sense later why she speaks french...
Part 2
Olive's Pov -
Max is streaming once again, meaning I get to sit here and listen, well I could be a part of the stream and I will probably make an appearance, although I know a lot of the fans will be sad during today's stream.
Lando is moving to Monaco, and honestly, I am also sad, but I do not really want to think about it and instead decided to sit on my phone and scroll through Instagram.
I jump when all of a sudden the drums start to be played. I roll my eyes knowing that it is Lando. I walk into the room and just look at Lando giving him a look like are you serious.
"Can you stop" Max ask
I roll my eyes knowing that he will just continue and that is exactly what happend.
Max continues to thank everyone for all the subs and I just look at them.
Lando finally stops and walks back over to sit down.
"Are you serious" I look at Lando and say
Max begins to laugh and Lando follows.
"Here I am peacefully scrolling through Instagram to be disturbed by the loudest and most obnoxious noise possible," I say
"like please learn some impulse control Lando" I laugh
Max and Lando are dying at this point holding onto each other as they laugh.
"je ne peux pas te supporter tous les deux" (I cant stand you two) I say while rolling my eye.
"Oh no everyone watch out the French is coming out" Max jokes
"I'm leaving," I say and walk out of the room.
"Nooo come back" Lando shouts.
Fine, I think and go back and sit next to Lando and continue to scroll through Instagram.
Although I am sitting uncomfortably and so I lay my head on Lando's shoulder and continue to scroll through Insta like always.
But it doesn't last long because Max reads a chat
"AWW Lando and Olive are so cute together!"
This caused Lando to lean back up and me to pick up my head, I looked at him and realized I missed the contact we had.
It doesn't take long for them to move off the topic and back to how the chat is sad over the move.
But I keep thikhig about Lando. Recenlty me and Lando have gotten closer hanging out a lot, but many people have been guesing that we are dating and I think that it had made Lando uncomfortable.
I mean maybe I'm just over thinking it I mean he hasnt said antyhing and we still hang out all the time but that defintley will be changing, he moving to another country.
How could something even start with him moving, wait do I even want something to start.
There is no way that I can like Lando Noriss. Its impossible.
My thoughts are cut short by me feeling a nudge, I look at the person who did it.
It was Lando and he smiles and me and shows me whatever he was looking at on his phone. I laugh at the stuipd instragram post.
Both of leaning close are arms begin to brush against one another, smiling at the contact I realise that I need to stop, he is leaving Olive and he's a huge f1 driver there no chance he would ever look at that way.
Lando most have notice me getting lost in my thoughts once again because he nudges me and says
"what going on in that little brain of your Olli"
God the way my name rolls off his tongue, no one can say my name the way he does.
The way my heart speeds up evertime he says "Olli"
I have to respond so qucily I reply "nothing" and just smile back at him.
Lando gies me a look like he doesn’t believe me but then gets distracted by Max asking him a question.
Although the touch between our arms does not end. Sitting here I can’t focus anything but the butterfiles that start to form.
Max looks back staring, I look at him and smile and all he does is shakes his head and turns back to the stream. I always wonder what Max is thinking, no way he thinks I am being to close to Lando right. Wait what if I am being to close to Lando. I start to freak out that maybe the fans said something causing Max to turn and I didn’t even realsie. What if they are upset.
The only way to end this long out burst of thoughts is to leave, so I abruptly stand up and walk out fo the room, to the kitchen I decided that I needed water.
I also decided maybe I should click on the live to see what the fans were saying.
twitch comments -
User2 - are lando and Olive dating?
User4- Lando and Olive are so cute next to eachother.
User5 - Lando and Olive?
User7 - what is happening between Lando and Olive back there.
User9 - Max turning into the third wheel.
Obviously, there were other comments in between them, but I was right, people were talking about me and Lando, and I had no idea how to feel about it.
Of course, I like Lando I mean look at him how could you not, I continued to stare at the sink not realising that my cup had filled up and water was just running all over my hand and into the sink until someone came up behind me and grabs the cup and turns off the sink.
"olli what is going on with you tonight" Lando says.
Of course it had to be Lando.
"Nothing I just, I just have a lot on my mind I guess" I reply.
"Olli you know you can tell me if something is bothering you, I will always listen, and I can take a break from the stream".
"Lando I "
"I promise. It's nothing" I say while looking away.
Well, that is until a hand comes under my chin moving my head to look back at him.
Our eyes meet and he just stares at me as if he is trying to read my thoughts.
My breath gets faster
I want to kiss him but I know that feeling is not mutual.
"You know you can just say you're going to miss me," Lando says while still staring right into my eyes.
God hes green eyes are so intoxicaiting making it hard for me to even understand what he said in the fristplace.
"Of course, I'll miss you, Lando. It's going to be weird that I won't be able to just walk over to your house anymore" I reply while dropping my eyes to look at the floor. I can't make eye contact with him, not right now.
"olli you can come and visit anytime and I have to come back for Mclaren a lot so do not worry we'll still see each other". He says.
His comforting voice makes me want to believe him, but why would he visit a girl like me. I mean were only friends because of Max and me and Max only met because of our mothers.
I keep thinking about the days recently, the walks, the talks, and the laughs we shared, knowing that they will probably not continue.
I look at him again and say "go back to the stream Lando"
He looks at me almost shocked.
"Don't push me away Olli" he says.
It was almost as if he could read me like a book.
Knowing exactly what I was doing.
But in life, you learn what is easier, after watching person after person leave sometimes it is easier to be the first to leave. Well, you think it is.
I have no reply for him, no words come to my head, and all I can think about is leaving first because then maybe it won't hurt as bad.
"Olli I'm not leaving you, Just because I am moving does not mean I am leaving you". I promise Olli"
I cut him off before he can continue "That's what everyone says but people grow apart Lando and your moving on, and I will be stuck here working in a stupid little coffee shop pretending to be a writer."
my words break my own heart and the truth revealed itself in my anger.
I look at him as the tears build in my eyes "Lando you an F1 driver and I am a want to be writer who has to work in a coffee shop to earn just enough money to live. You grew I didn't. I would just pull back and so I understand that once you leave I will just be a memory".
I can't stand to look at him anymore so I pull away from his touch, grab my jacket and bag, and run out the front door.
But then it hit me, my roommate has her boyfriend over and I promised I wasn't coming home tonight.
I head back to the front door and just stare at it trying to build up the confidence to make my way back inside.
Hoping that Lando has returned to the stream I go to reach for the door but it is pulled open by someone from the inside.
Lando and Max stare back at me.
Max grabs me a pulls me inside.
"Olive where were you going, Lando said you were upset and left and I was worried," Max asked
"I Just have a lot on my mind, okay, so I was just going to head home for the night but then I remembered Leah has Alex over so yeah"
"well just stay here Max says, I'm going to head back to the stream, are you sure you're okay. Do you need anything" Max asked
"No I am fine Max" I reply.
Max walks away and then there is just me and Lando left standing in the kitchen but this time I can't look at him, I can't think or prepare myself for what he is going to say.
79 notes · View notes
puhpandas · 6 months
Text
Rabbit Burrow
(5180 words) part 2 (1 found here)
Tony Becker, one year after surviving the attack from GGY, tracks down Gregory post-SB. But he has to get through Vanessa and Freddy before he can get to Gregory.
Its only after Tony has run through the interaction with Vanessa ten times over that he realizes she never told him how she knows Gregory.
He'd been nothing but restless since she left. His eyes have been darting to and from the digital clock on the end table on the other side of arm of the couch, and his brain has been so scattered, all he can focus on is the awaiting reunion.
The baking show has long since switched to a new episode since he last checked the TV. Tony's worried that at this point, his fingers will start bleeding if he keeps picking at them like this.
The only saving grace in a long chunk of nothing-but-anticipation is when Tony's phone buzzes at 6:01pm, right when he had started to gather his thoughts and began plan out the reunion in his head like remembering a speech.
Ellis: dude where r u????
Ellis: yr mom said u arent home and she keeps asking me if ur with me and where u r
All Tony does is sigh. He cant even find it in him to feel bad that his Mom and Grandma are probably worried. All he can think about is how his arms are shaking and his stomach feels floaty.
He types back with thumbs that have peeling skin on the edge of the fingernails.
Tony: Remember how I covered for you that one time?
Tony: I need you to cover for me. If you need to tell her that I'm with you and I'm staying over do that. I just need any excuse.
Ellis: yea i remember but why?
Ellis: if a guy covers for u u can at least tell him what the deal is
Tony: I'm doing something really important. I can't tell you all the details yet.
Tony: I just need you to trust me. Please. It'll help me out a lot, Ellis.
Tony: I promise I'll make it up to you next time you need something.
Ellis: dude didnt know it was that important
Ellis: dont worry then. u know i can tell a mean lie when i need to
Tony: Dude thanks. That's a big relief. It wont be in vain.
Ellis: my services will not be for free tho
Ellis: i will need something in return
Tony: What do you want?
Ellis: for u to buy me a cookie next time i see u at lunch
Tony finds it in him to roll his eyes at that. He smiles a bit, and right as he goes to send back I'll buy you two, Freddy Fazbear makes some sort of clunking sound.
Its enough to make his already fluttery heart clench and himself almost fly off of the couch. He jerks and yelps and can only stare Freddy Fazbears black eyelids phwip open, and his pupils glow..
They're blank, though, like they're on but Freddy himself isnt. His body whirs and shifts slowly, as if running a diagnostic, and after his ears wiggle, theres a clear difference.
Tony just sits rigid as a board with eyes wide as saucers as Freddy doesnt notice him right away. He just takes the jump cables off of his ears and sets them on the carpet, and moves his torso to face the window.
Which Tony is blocking. Since hes on the couch sitting directly next to the animatronic.
Theres a staring contest with a distinct lack of breathing for all but a few moments, before the small black plastic pieces that are Freddys eyebrows tilt downwards.
"Wait wait wait!" Tony holds out his hands, but Freddy doesnt get off the couch and attack him like his fears. Freddys eyes dont leave his once, and it reminds him too much of those few times Freddy would stare him down and be hot on his heels in the Pizzaplex during the GGY debacle.
Freddy pauses, not even so much as twitching as he burns an LED hole into him. Tony tries to get over the unease and stutters out, "Um, Vanessa trusts me. I talked to her. She told me to stay here."
For a fleeting moment, Tony believes he somehow said the wrong thing and that Freddy is now going to grab him and beat him into a pulp like he feared back at the Pizzaplex all that time ago. But during the rigid silence, the glow in Freddys eyes flickers for half a second, and some sort of beeping sound emits from a hidden speaker.
"I have just contacted her." Freddy finally breaks the tension, and Tony sighs at how his voice does not sound aggressive. In fact, Freddy hadn't spoken at all when Tony had been afraid of him last year. "You are telling the truth... my apologies."
"Theres no issue." Tony manages when Freddy looks so undoubtedly apologetic theres no doubt that he's not genuine. He scratches the back of his neck. "...I guess I wouldnt be too keen on a stranger being in my house when I wake up either."
"Yes," Freddy nods, and his ears bob at the motion. Theres a split second of silence where the baking show Tony hasn't caught a single second of is the only noise in the room. "so that begs the question; why are you here?"
Tony jerks. "What?"
"You are a stranger in my house, like you said." Freddy points out, not unkindly. "I would appreciate knowing why. Even if you already went over it with Vanessa."
"Oh. Well. I dont know what all Vanessa told you, but... I'm here for Gregory."
Freddy doesnt immediately turn distrustful or wary like Vanessa had. Probably because he already knows Tony is a friend. "She said you were an old friend of his." Freddy confirms. His "So, you are the boy Gregory talks to much about."
Tony doesnt really know how to respond to that. He grabs a fold of fabric from the arm of his jacket in-between his fingers. "Uh...yeah."
"I'm sure you've already talked to Vanessa. So I wont beat around the bush." Freddy says. "But Gregory has tried so hard to remember you."
Tony brows furrow. "...She said he has dreams sometimes. And that's how he knows I-- we exist."
"Yes." Freddy nods."But she probably did not tell you that he tries to figure out what reminded him of you, so he can continue to keep dreaming."
Tony's eyes widen, and he picks at his fingers. No. Vanessa did not mention that. She said nothing about Gregory actively searching for Tony around his life to see him in his dreams.
Freddys LED eyes dim, and his ears and eyelids droop in a clear sign of upset. "It breaks my heart. To see Gregory try to gather the broken pieces of his memories." His eyes stare at the couch cushion below them, before they dart up to look him in the eye. "You were obviously very important to him, if he searches like this."
"He is to me too." Is all Tony can manage. He's suddenly getting a sense adjacent to deja vu.
"Its clear that he is." Freddy is still looking him in the eye, but somehow, Tony feels like he's smiling at him. "If you came all this way to see him."
And he really did come a long way, didnt he? He took a bus to a different county. He spent hours and hours scouring the internet for any mention of Greg after he suddenly up and went missing as soon by the time Tony had recovered enough to look for him.
Greg has searched too, apparently. Tony cant help but be aware of. Even after losing his memories.
"What is your name?" Freddy suddenly asks him.
"Tony Becker." Tony answers easily. "I guess he doesnt remember my name, huh?"
"No. But he has tried. Believe me when I say that." Freddy says. "He wants to know more about his life before what happened more than anything."
"...You think he'll be happy to see me?"
"There is no doubt, Tony Becker."
The last time he had seen Greg, it was in a dusty back room with a knife in his back.
But despite that, it isnt what Tony thinks when he thinks Greg. When he thinks of Greg, he thinks of the sleepovers and the days Greg would show up at school one day with his hair different lengths. He thinks about how He, Greg, and Ellis would Vs. eachother on the air hockey machine. He thinks about the stories they'd come up with in creative writing.
When he thinks of that afternoon at the Pizzaplex, he doesnt think Greg. He thinks GGY. Maybe its that first inkling of separation that got him here.
Theres been a stretch of silence while Tony soaked it in. The rain outside has slowed, and the sun peeking through the gray clouds shines through the window, white lines on the coffee table like the blinds are a stencil.
"But the truth is... I do not think Vanessa feels the same." Freddy suddenly says. "She wants to protect him from the awful memories. I do not have to deal with them like she does, but I assume they... that they haunt her."
His ears droop. "I believe that she does not want Gregory to have to as well."
"So shes trying to keep them from him?" Tony asks, a brow raised. "But that's his choice, isn't it?"
"That is how I feel." Freddy agrees, looking at him again. It's starting to become less uncomfortable. "Listen, Tony Becker. I may not know for sure, but I feel that Vanessa is afraid to let you near Gregory. Seeing you will make him remember so much."
His mind immediately jumps to a thousand implications at that."If shes scared, what does that mean?" He asks. "She'll make me leave? She'll change her mind?"
"I do not think so." Freddy assures. "But my point is that she has been trying for so long to keep Gregorys memories under wraps. It is not with malice, but this is why I ask you this."
"Gregory has long since chosen to remember, even if Vanessa does not want him to." Freddy says havent left his once, and Tony doesnt look away, either. Freddys pupils suddenly appear brighter in a way when he speaks again, "To keep them from him after he has already made his choice would be cruel. Which is why I would like you to help him, Tony Becker."
Tony hasnt forgotten how Greg fought for him that day at the Pizzaplex. He hasnt forgotten how all that mattered was Tony escaping. Not if Greg would get in trouble. Not if something would happen to him.
Gregory has, though. Greg has forgotten a lot of things.
But if seeing Tony in danger that fateful afternoon made him remember himself enough to fight, and win against mind control?
Tony can fight for Greg's memories, too. Even if it takes another year.
"He deserves to remember his old life." Freddy says. "Vanessa has told me that his parents are dead. Any life he had before is nothing but a faint memory." He hums, melancholy. "But it's one I want him to remember."
Me too Tony almost says. Because all Tony has wanted throughout this last year is his friend back.
"Greg was one of my best friends." Tony says quietly, eyes downcast. He counts the threads in the couch cushion. "I want him to remember me and Ellis and... everything. It's why I'm here."
"I have not been able to help him, no matter how much I've wanted to." Freddy responds, sounding sad. "But I am glad you are here. Now Gregory truly has a chance of obtaining what hes been chasing for so long."
"Me too." Tony replies, not knowing which exactly hes responding too.
"So," Freddy pauses. "what do you say?"
"I'll do it." Tony responds immediately. "But... I just have to ask. Why do you trust me so much? Vanessa wouldnt even tell me anything until I answered her riddles."
Freddy hums. "It is exactly as you said." Freddy answers. "You earned Vanessa's trust. So in turn you have earned my trust. I trust Vanessa to trust you."
Tony doesnt respond, for a moment, just taking that in.
The amount of faith you have in someone to trust them that much. To know you can rely on them. To have no doubt...
Tony glances at the hallway he can see just over the back of the couch and down the hall into the room with the slightly open door, with the pens and pencils and bed and desk, and wonders how tightly wound the people in this house are with eachother.
"...Then I'll return the favor." Tony smiles. "You're friends of Greg's, and, well... I was friends with him, once upon an time. And he still seems to think so." He holds out a hand. "Any friend of Greg's is a friend of mine."
Freddys ears wiggle, and his eyelids come up in a way that make him look overjoyed. "Any friend of Gregory's is a friend of mine." Freddy repeats, shaking Tony's hand. "We are in this together, now. We will have to be there for Gregory if he remembers not so great things."
"And for the great things." Tony smiles, going over the few months worth of memories of their three amigos friendship he has in his head. "Its worth it, I think."
After all, if Tony's found a way to seperate killer Greg with his Greg, then he thinks Gregory probably can as well.
"I'm glad we have that settled." Freddys ears wiggle, and his eyes do that dimming thing again for half a second. "Because Vanessa has just contacted me and let me know that she is almost back with Gregory."
He makes some sort of choking noise. Theres a thousand things on the tip of Tony's tongue in seconds. His eyes blow wide as saucers, and he twists his back to look at the clock that reads 6:34.
He immediately feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. He stutters, trying to gather his thoughts, and eventually gets out "How long?!"
"Soon." Freddy smiles. "It wont be long, now. It seems all the work you've done has paid off."
Tony cant find it in him to move his mouth after that. Just too rigid. It feels like theres electricity buzzing up his skin and a wildfire in his chest. It feels like he cold start floating like a balloon at any moment.
He doesnt respond to Freddy, after that. He just twists his body to face the front door (his back twinges. maybe he shouldn't slouch over his laptop and desk so much) and waits.
A few minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Not really when its put up against the year he's taken to track Greg down. But its somehow more agonizing waiting now when he knows Greg is in arms reach, instead of it being uncertain if he'd ever see him again.
It's not uncertain, now. Is the thing. Greg is on his way, and Tony, for once, doesn't even know what to think. All he can do is sit there and be clammy and impatient.
Freddy chuckles. Tony ignores it. He burns a hole into the front door just across the living room, only hearing his own jumbled thoughts and roaring in his ears over the baking show on the TV.
Its Winter right now. So by 6:45, all the light outside has darkened into pitch blackness. The residential street lights outside the apartments make the raindrops on the window glow. The TV is still going in the background.
Freddy is as still as he is, joining him in watching the door as restless as a bored puppy. Listening to the ventilation inside of Freddys inner workings is the only thing that reminds Tony to breathe.
After multiple agonizing minutes, Tony jerks when the slam of a car door is heard distantly outside the window.
"Are you ready, Tony Becker?" Freddy breaks the silence. Looking back at Freddy is the first time Tony looks away from the door. "We do not know how much he will remember at first. It may be messy. It may not."
Messy is definitely a word he would use to describe a lot of the things that have happened, here. So he just nods, a tilt of his head. "I'm ready."
"He is ready, too." replies Freddy.
And that's all that's said until the doorknob begins to rattle.
All that Tony manages is a strangled gasp before he's bolting off the couch, almost tripping over Freddys legs. His converse slide on the laminate wood, and he stands there. In perfect view of the door.
His legs feel cold and his chest airy as he watches. He waits for movement, and cant help the tremble in his hands when the deadbolt unlocks. He can hear voices. Only because hes straining his ears, but he can hear a high pitched voice muffled and faint behind the door.
The doorknob rattles, and Tony watches as the deadbolt unlocks from the inside. His heart stutters in his chest when he hears voices outside, and he can pinpoint one of the pitches as Greg's.
"Come on, Vanessa. Were home. Now tell me what the suprise is!"
"I think you'll want to see it for yourself, Greg."
"Its inside? Well what could it possibly be if you wont even give me a hint--"
The knob twists, and the door creaks open. Its steady and agonizingalmost as if it's in slow motion.
And there he is.
Theres the pale skin and short stature and blue clothes. Tony isnt breathing when he just looks, and sees the boy he'd been searching for so long right in front of him.
He has raindrops in his chocolate brown hair. Greg doesnt look away from Vanessa while he walks in, at first, but Vanessa looks away from Gregory. She meets his eyes, and Tony doesnt have it in him to dissect what the look could mean.
All he cares about is how Greg follows her gaze.
He stops in his tracks, his mud stained Pizzaplex brand sneakers planting him firmly in place.
It's like everything else falls away when Greg meets his eyes. Huge, amber eyes that grow as wide as saucers when they see him. Theres a dark jagged scar wrapped around his cheek that makes it to his nose that wasnt there before.
The silence is deafening, as they just stand there and stare at eachother. Tony thinks he isnt breathing. Theres electricity shooting up his spine. His fingers twitch and tremble. Greg just stares, mouth agape.
Tony's own twitches, and he smacks his lips together, testing if he can still speak at all. His legs are rooted to the ground as he says, just above a whisper, "Greg."
Greg's face shifts ever so slightly, and it's only now Tony realizes his eyes are a bit faraway. Like he's...
Remembering something.
In an instant, they dart and blink, and Greg is looking at him again.
Tony dares to break through the water by taking a step. He never tears his eyes away from Gregory's own.
At some point, Vanessa moved away from the door and somewhere else in the house.
Which means the coast is clear when Tony takes a step, and then another, and Greg is meeting him in the middle.
Hes almost sprinting when they crash into eachother like waves. Immediately, Tony wraps his arms around Greg tight, and Greg clutches back just as desperately.
"Tony." Gregory says breathlessly. Tony can feel Greg's hair brush against his cheek and his hands ball up his jacket. "Its you. That's your name. You're the..."
"The one you've been dreaming about?" Tony chuckles, and to his suprise, it's a little wet. His legs ache from pushing himself into the hug so much, but he ignores it. "Yeah. Me and Ellis. Your friends."
"Tony and Ellis." Greg repeats, and Tony could cry at how it's the same voice in all of his memories. A few things are different; Gregory's face has changed a bit, and so has his hair and clothes. But all of the things that made him Greg back then are still here.
"I--" Greg stutters. "I tried so hard to remember anything about you. I was gonna track you down, I hope you know. Cause you're the only things I remember about..."
"I know, Greg." Tony replies. Greg pulls away from the hug, and Tony still has a grip on his shoulders. "They told me everything."
He jerks his head towards Freddy and Vanessa, and when Greg looks over at him, Freddys ears wiggle and Vanessa does a small little wave.
"Some suprise." Gregory chuckles, wiping at his dry eyes. "Jeez, its just-- I just remembered so much. Just by seeing you, and--"
Greg's eyes turn a little misty as he looks in Tony's own. "We were friends." He says. "And I forgot you for so long."
"It wasnt your fault." Tony smiles slightly. Greg still has to look up at him a bit, like he did last time Tony saw him. "Freddy and Vanessa told me you tried your best to remember us."
Gregory nods, glancing over at them. "I did." He says. "I wanted to know what triggered the first dream so bad. But... I never figured it out."
"I guess it doesn't matter now." Tony says. "I'm right here in front of you, and you remember now. Ellis'll be really glad to see you, too."
Gregory chuckles. "I missed him." He says. "I missed you, too."
"Me too." Tony replies, and it doesn't feel like those two words can encapsulate how much Tony has felt the past year. "Ellis really missed you as well. He still is. You don't know what happened to him when you went missing."
Gregory ducks his head, eyes downcast. "I wish I did."
Tony eyes Freddy from the corner of his eye, and he nods. Tony looks back towards Greg. "I can tell you some stuff, if you want. Vanessa said something reminded you of me one day." He smiles. "I can try to help remind you of stuff enough to remember more."
Gregory's head shoots up, and to Tony's suprise, tears gather in his eyes. As quick as they come, he ducks his head, using the sleeve of his navy jacket to wipe them away. "Yeah." He sniffs. "That'd be great."
"I'm glad you guys reunited." Vanessa pipes up to their left. "But, Gregory, I think you should go take a breather. I wanna talk to Tony anyway."
Greg doesnt answer for a second, but eventually he nods, smiling at Tony as he peels himself away. Tony takes note of how the tooth Gregory had been missing last year is still gone.
Tony watches him go, and his eyes dont leave his back until the door to his room shuts.
"Kid," Vanessa grabs his attention. She gestures to sit down on the couch, and he moves over, sitting in-between Freddy and her. "that went well. Really well."
Tony just nods, not able to shake the trembling in his fingers and the floaty feeling in his chest.
"It doesnt seem like he remembered anything bad." Vanessa points out. "He couldnt have. He wouldn't be so calm if he did, trust me."
Tony remembers Freddys words about how Vanessa grapples with the things shes done, so he does. He nods again, and Vanessa smiles. "So that's good. Listen, kid. If you can somehow have Gregory remember his old life without any of the mind control murder stuff, that would be the best case scenario."
Freddy whirs and straightens out a but, opening his mouth to speak, but he stops at the last second. "It wouldnt be unfair to Gregory if he wasnt remembering anything good, Fred." Vanessa points out.
"That is true." Freddy agrees. "There is no point in Gregory remembering anything harmful to him if avoidable. Vanessa knows that better than anyone."
Tony opens his mouth to speak, but pauses.
Not remember anything bad? As in he wouldnt be able to remember that day at the Pizzaplex?
How Greg had put himself on the line and fought for Tony's life? How he'd succeeded? How Tony always desperately wanted to see Greg again just to talk about it?
Words get caught in his throat, but he pushes them down and shoves his feelings aside. He just nods. "I'll do my best."
"Thanks." Vanessa says, and she sounds more relieved than Tony's ever heard anyone. She puts a hand on his shoulder, offering him a smile. "Really. Thank you, kid. I'd do anything for Gregory to never have to remember the same things I do."
Tony just nods again, finding that for the first time in his life, he has no words to say. "Yeah."
"I am sure you're dying to catch up with Gregory." Freddy smiles. "Go on, Tony Becker. We will give you both space."
Tony smiles, shooting up and shimmying past Freddys legs in-between the coffee table towards the hall. "Okay. Sure." He only lingers for another moment to say "Thanks!"
Its jet black outside when Tony passes a window, and by the time he makes it to Greg's room, the only light available is a small table lamp on the desk with paper strewn about. Greg sits on his bed, deep in thought, before snapping out of it when Tony walks in.
"Hey." Gregory smiles, and Tony grins back when he shuts the door behind him. He cant help how his eyes wander about the room, taking in every detail as he moves further into the room. His backpack is tossed on the floor beside his bed, and theres comic pages and drawings thumbtacked up across every wall. Theres a corkboard with blocky letters written on paper sheets scattered around, and his bedsheets have constellations on them.
Tony's eyes linger on the desk, where there are multiple comics covering every inch, some half-finished and some fully colored.
"You would draw comics when we were friends, too." Tony says, making his way over and peering at all of the different drawings. "I'd call them graphic novels. I'd write the story and you'd draw."
"I think I had a dream about that." Greg says. "We'd go in your room and brainstorm, right?"
"Yeah." Tony smiles. He looks at the dates scribbles in the corners of them all, and notices that most of them are recent.
"Its one of the only dreams I had." Gregory says. "It... it would make me so mad because it never went any different. And it had been the only indication you even existed for so long." He chuckles without humor. "The other dreams weren't much different, but, well, I was never really able to figure out how to trigger a new dream."
As he keeps looking, some of the older comics, like the ones on the walls and the underneath the piles of recent ones have dates from a few months ago.
It's like a tiny lightbulb goes off above his head. He turns to Gregory, asking "Do you remember when you had the first dream?"
Gregory pauses for a moment. "Yeah." He says. "It was a few months ago. The first dream I had was about us drawing comics in your room."
Tony smiles, finding the earliest date to be near October last year. Its February now. "Did you ever think the thing that triggered that memory was drawing a comic?"
Tony watches as the gears turn in Greg's head. Hes silent for a moment, before muttering, "No. I didnt."
Tony looks at the window on the wall by Greg's bed and watches as raindrops drip down the screen on the other side. Crickets are chirping faintly, and he can hear Freddy and Vanessa's voices muffled behind the door.
The days events catch up to him, and right as the first inkling of tiredness creep up on him, he says "So how about we try to make a comic together like the dream? Maybe it'll bring back some new memories."
Gregory is silent for a moment, and Tony watches as his eyes widen, and a grin gradually stretches across his face. "Okay." He says. "Yeah. Let's do it."
So it's in Greg's room, instead of Tony's, where they hunker down for the night and squish next to eachother on the same chair at the same desk and brainstorm a comic. Tony makes a point of calling it a graphic novel like he used to, because Greg would always say something about it, and unsurprisingly, this time is no different.
The only light is from Gregory's small table lamp shoved to the very corner to make room for more papers, and it's only when they have everything ready does Greg finally ask about the story.
"You said you'd write the story and I'd draw." Gregory says. His shoulder is pressed up against Tony's on the chair and his voice is loud in his ear. "So what's the story?"
Tony hums for a second, jumbled thoughts and ideas running course in his mind, then he gets an idea.
He grins slowly as it dawns on him. He glances over at Greg.
"You always liked nonfiction better, right?" Gregory says, voice up an octave like a question. "Real life stuff."
"Yeah." Tony confirms. "This is a real story."
"So tell me." Greg smiles, leaning back to get a good view of Tony. Tony himself does the same, and Greg is doing one of those lopsided smiles that shows off his missing tooth. "And I'll start drawing the panels."
Its only after theyve hunkered down does Tony really let himself revel in the fact that he found Greg, and he's here and okay. It may not be perfect, since Tony never really will be able to speak to that Gregory that saved him that day and thank him, but its content. Tony has his friend back, and he can't ask for any more.
He's long since decided on a story when he finally tells Gregory. He smiles softly, before saying,
"This story is about a kid named Gregory, who once hacked the school PA speakers and started beatboxing."
🔎🐰
Ellis: um so how long will i have to keep this up???
Ellis: would be nice to know
Tony: I dont know how long I'll be gone.
Tony: I'll buy you as many cookies as you want for this.
Ellis: we will negotiate when you come back
Ellis: for now ill uphold my end of the deal mr. becker
Tony: I'll uphold mine early.
Tony sent an image
Image ID: A boy with short dark brown hair and a green jacket angling the camera so by his head is a boy with pale skin and chocolate brown hair. The boy with dark hair is smiling and the boy with brown hair is looking suprised at the camera.
Ellis is typing...
ao3 link
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msperfect777 · 10 months
Text
the world within the mind + the 5 senses
⭐️part ten of the understanding consciousness & non dualism series
this delicious post is based on ArshaBodha's youtube video and he is a traditional teacher of Vedanta (non dualism). this video was recommended to me by one of my amazing followers💋
the 5 senses are more limited than you think. the world we "see" is not what the world actually is. it is what the mind perceives which is not the same as the reality of the world.
some examples:
"the sky looks blue, but air is colorless"
when you watch a video, it is actually a series of still images projected on a screen, 30 images per second
when you watch the sunset it seems as if the sun is moving down and "setting" but really "the horizon moves up as the earth turns on its axis"
science proves that "you can only perceive a minute fraction of what actually exists" -> "a dog can sniff and differentiate 50 times more smells than you can. your ears can hear only a narrow range of pitches. and you eyes can only see colors from red to violet."
"beyond those pitches and colors lies a vast range of sound and light that you simply cant perceive. the point is, because the range of your senses is so limited, you cant fully and accurately perceive the world around you. only a tiny part is accessible."
"appearances can be deceiving. its natural to believe that your five senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch give you an accurate representation of the world around you. but the fact is, your powers of perception are extremely limited. experiencing the world through your five senses is like looking through five little pinholes pierced in a heavy blanket covering your head."
sorry the video is blurry asf its bc its a 3min vid💀
video recaps:
the mind, based on the 5 senses, creates an image or representation of the world which is not an accurate representation of the world
the room your in is just a 3d representation of the room produced by the mind
because of how limited the 5 senses are, you arent able to accurately see the world
brain + 5 senses = inaccurate perception
"waking world" is based on senses (mind) and "dreaming world" is based on memories (mind) so both are created by the mind; they are imaginary; not real
if you had no senses, you would not know the difference between being awake and dreaming bc both are unreal
"the waking world and dream world both arise in your mind. every day, they come and go."
this is all a dream
© msperfect777
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orange-coloredsky · 9 months
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i cannot believe ive never posted this. probably because it looks like shit. anyways heres my pepe silva ass scrawlings about what i think this guy's mods are for.
translation of the nigh unreadable text under the cut
REAL AND CANON DIMA LORE PART ONE: What The Hell Are All Those Doo Dads
(i'll start from the head and go down)
HEAD
functionally blind. constant exposure to moisture from the fog pretty much turned a lot of him into mush and short circuits, including whatever optic nerves he had going on in there. so he mainly relies on sound and memory to get around. some of the shit sticking out of his head actually works like echolocation devices. pickinh up the sound around him and translating it into something that lets him know "oh, theres a fuckin table there. it does not always work. (fun fact: thats the reason why his memory game is based on abstractions and sound. while exploring nick/kellogg's brain we got visual input. dima doesnt have that)
all of the other tubes are basically just typical vacuum tubes. used to reroute voltage to make sure he doesnt overload himself with all the extra mods. make sure you dont stand too close to him during a thunderstorm
TORSO
basically an external disk drive. his main way of utilizing holotapes and shit. i like to draw a lil heart on it
looks like guts. gross. i cant figure out what this would do (i now believe its a liquid cooling system)
LEGS
so it turns out sitting in a damp ass cave on your ass in the dirt for 365 days doesnt do wonders for the skin. especially when that skin is just shitty rubber. basically his fuckin leg parts rotted away and just his metal skeleton remained, which is wrapped in his weird duct tape yoga pants. the metal frames are for extra support. because of this as well as his age he cant really stand for long periods of time (ignore the part where he stands in acadia forever after you get deeper into his questline) and when he INSISTS ON DOING SO he requires some form of mobility aid. usually in the form of faraday or chase walking alongside him
typical synth skeletal feet, but augmented to actually flex/extend like talons. he is weirdly skilled at picking things up with his feet.
BACK
basically his whole back is just Gone, minus the structures needed to hold up those ports because dima is very prone to overheating. was easier to just get rid of anything blocking the flow of air than to install a bunch of heat sinks. faraday's smart but hes on a budget.
these are the cerebral (spinal?) connections he uses to be plugged into his chair (not dissimilar to the placements of the connections in the institute mind wiping chair ☹️)
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