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#they are both disasters
imfinereallyy · 1 year
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Eddie’s on the couch shirtless, and Steve is having a full-on crisis.
Eddie’s bare chest is on full display on Robin and Steve’s couch, and Steve is having a full-blown, how did this not click til now, crisis.
Steve knows he’s staring. Knows he needs to stop staring. Eddie is going on a rant to them, something about society or something metal (he got distracted when Eddie whipped his shirt off), and Steve should really pay attention because he knows Eddie is going to quiz him after.
For someone who hates school so much, Eddie sure likes to test Steve.
Robin comes up behind Steve, slurping her slushy. “Oh no. I know that face. It finally caught up to you, didn’t it?”
Steve breaks his state to give Robin a wide-eyed look. “What—how—I—“ Steve’s shoulders sag; there is no point in hiding from Robin. “How’d you know?”
“Please, babe, I’ve been waiting. Glad to know you actually sped-run this. Was thinking you were going to pull a me and wait til Jenny Rodriguez asks to practice the stage kiss with you before you realized.”
“I have so many questions.”
“Don’t bother; nothing happened except me falling off the stage at rehearsal.”
Steve laughs but then chokes when he glances back at Eddie. “I think my brain just exploded, Robs. What do I do?”
Robin pats his back sympathetically, “There, there. Nothing you can do, bud. Just got to ride the gay thoughts wave.”
Steve makes a distressed noise. Robin rubs circles on his back.
Eddie interrupts their moment (clueless to the evident lesbian bisexual solidarity happening), “So what do you guys think? Should I get the sword here?” Eddie drags his hand slowly down his sternum.
“I need you to take it back.” Steve whips his head torwards Robin.
“Take it back?”
“The crisis, take it back.” Steve all but begs Robin.
“Sorry, there is a no refund policy. You can use it or push it to the side; it’s up to you. But either way, that baby is yours.” Robin uses her straw to emphasize her point.
Eddie tilts his head confused, “Uuuh guys? The tattoo?”
Steve waits a moment before responding. “Good.”
“I’m going to need more than that Stevie.”
“Good. Will look good on you. Anything looks good on you.” Steve has to resist shoving his face into his hands. He can feel the rush of heat up to his cheeks.
Eddie’s face breaks into a brilliant, and a little smug, smile. “Awe, thanks, sweetheart. Glad to know I got the Harrington approval.”
“You don’t need my approval to look good.” Steve was going to throw himself off the roof of their apartment. That didn’t even make any sense.
Eddie snorts, “Okay big boy. Whatever you say.”
It comes off flirtier than Steve thought a sarcastic comment could be. This time instead of responding, Steve just caves into the embarrassment, turns around, and starts lightly thumping his head into the wall.
“Eddie, c’mon, you broke him! Now I’m going to have to reboot him…again.”
Steve doesn’t see his face but doesn’t have to look to know that Eddie’s face is downright giddy. “Sorry.”
Steve doesn’t think he’s very sorry at all.
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pastelpaperplanes · 2 years
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All I can see Thorns and roses au Megaton grabbing Optimus by the back of his armor and lifting him up to eye level before they go into a tavern and says.
“Please. For the love of Primus. DON’T. START. A. FIGHT.”
Optimus deserves a little bar brawl. as a treat 🍬
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darkcrowprincess · 1 year
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(Don't like don't read. Post hate and I'll block you)
Luz: Hunter, didn't I ask you to be my impulse control?
Hunter: Yes, you did.
Luz: So why did you let me come home with five puppies?
Hunter: I'm really curious what you thought was going to happen when you put my name and 'impulse control' in the same sentence.
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flashhwing · 1 year
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hawke flirting: the worst pickup line you've ever heard in your life at the literal most inappropriate time
lavellan flirting: ever so slightly nicer than he usually is
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inkskinned · 1 year
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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frownyalfred · 2 months
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Bruce revealing his secret identity to Ollie is always funny to me because it usually starts as “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this, we’ve been friends for years and I was also a vigilante” and swiftly becomes “so that threesome we had behind the fountain at that last gala wasn’t real???”
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kathaynesart · 4 months
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And now watch it all fall apart.
BEGINNING || PREVIOUS || NEXT MASTER POST
Thank you everyone for your patience as I recuperate from Covid. I tested negative and am now just recuperating from the lasting effects. Honestly, this update is one I probably could have skipped, but I love me a good heist plan. Plus I just wanted to have some fun with this holiday special and if that means extending it a bit longer, then so be it.
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tolkienillustrations · 7 months
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“It [The Lord of the Rings] is finished, if still partly unrevised, and is, I suppose, in a condition which a reader could read, if he did not wilt at the sight of it…now I look at it, the magnitude of the disaster is apparent to me. My work has escaped from my control, and I have produced a monster: an immensely long, complex, rather bitter, and very terrifying romance, quite unfit for children (if fit for anybody); and it is not really a sequel to The Hobbit, but to The Silmarillion.”
— J.R.R. Tolkien to Sir Stanley Unwin, 24 February 1950
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turtleinsoup · 3 months
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(I miss you when we don't hang out at night)
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(the lemonade leak on ao3)
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myrling-art · 5 months
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I think they'd be friends. 💛💜🤍
Just two misunderstood elven wizards. Sharing a cup of whiskey and chocolate.
Bonding over their pursuit of arcane discoveries, the lack of governmental funding for passion projects, and their shared hatred for parties.
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raphaerolo · 3 months
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They <3
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tangledinink · 7 months
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if I have to deal with it!!!! THEY have to deal with it!!!!
[ the gemini ]
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luxaofhesperides · 3 months
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“You know, I never realized how true the ‘eyes are the windows to your soul’ thing was until I saw yours.” + fluff + cafe AU ; requested by @kiv1!
He’s sure Danny didn’t expect to see him every other day after he casually mentioned that he had gotten a part time job at a local cafe. However, as his friend, it is Duke’s moral duty to only get coffee from that shop while Danny is on shift, specifically to annoy him. 
Also, so he can support his friend, but being annoying takes priority.
It’s a routine now, for both of them. Danny clocks in for his shift and an hour later Duke is strolling into the cafe with his eyes locked on Danny’s. The rest of the baristas always shove Danny up to the register when they see Duke, taking over whatever order he was making. Even some of the other regulars turn their attention up to the counter, hoping for another few minutes of entertainment.
Danny sighs as he gets ready to input Duke’s order. It’s never the same one, because Duke would hate to be predictable and make things easier for Danny, but it has the side effect of making him realize that some of the expensive, seasonal drinks are really good. 
It’s a bit hard on his wallet, but it’s a price he’s willing to pay for teasing Danny. 
“Hey,” he greets cheerfully as he leans against the counter, grinning at Danny.
Danny sighs again. “What can I get you today, random customer that keeps bothering me.”
“A latte, but make it sweet somehow. And iced.”
“What size would you like?”
“Let’s go with medium today.”
“Anything else?”
“Yeah.” Duke leans closer to Danny, watching as he fights down a smile. “I just gotta say that you got gorgeous eyes. You know, I never realized how true the ‘eyes are the window to your soul thing’ was until I saw yours.”
Danny considers this for a moment, then shakes his head. “It kind of sounds like your trying to steal my soul through my eyes.”
“Why is that what your mind goes to?”
“Well. I watched Coraline last night.”
Duke stares at Danny, taking in the dark circles under his eyes. “...Didn’t you say that movie gave you nightmares as a kid?”
“Yeah! And it turns out, it gives me nightmares even now!”
“And ruined my pick up line,” Duke complains playfully.
“It was too cheesy anyways,” Danny replies, putting Duke’s order into the screen. It prints a moment later, no doubt with some bizarre name since Danny refuses to actually name Duke on his orders, and then recites the price. 
He pays and watches as Danny slaps the order onto a medium sized up, then tosses it over to the barista making the drinks. He’s not actually sure what her name is since she refuses to wear a name tag, but she always gives him a wave and also a rating of how good his pick up lines are.
“Seven out of ten!” she calls out to him today, then gets started on making his drink.
“I don’t see why you don’t flirt with anyone else,” Danny says, “I’m pretty sure my coworkers like your pick up lines even more than they like me.”
“Why would I want to flirt with them? Danny, I’m literally only here to bother you.”
Danny rolls his eyes. “Yeah, trust me, I know. My good looks just keep pulling in business.”
He says it like a joke, but it’s true. Duke has noticed it. Danny’s coworkers have noticed it. His manager noticed it and now has him out on the floor every shift. If they can get him to work on the chalkboard sign outside, or wipe down the two tables out front, then they do it, because Danny is Midwestern to his core and it’s very charming in a place like Gotham. He smiles at people as they walk by, happily answers their questions when they ask him what the cafe serves, recommends food and drinks for them, is generally a bright and nice person to everyone who comes near the cafe. 
His cute looks draw people in, then his personality makes them stay. 
It’s all customer service, of course, because Duke never gets the cute, sunny Danny. He’s left with the sarcastic, rude, and funny Danny that’s been his friend since they met in junior year of high school. 
“Your eyes are really pretty, though,” Duke says, “Very blue. Sometimes green. It’s no wonder people keep falling for you!”
Danny reaches across the counter to shove Duke away, but he’s blushing, so Duke is counting it as a win. “Shut up. Now you’re just lying. My eyes are never green.”
“Yes, they are. Danny, I’ve seen them multiple times. They’re green sometimes.”
“No? My eyes have literally only ever been blue. They’re the bluest blue to ever blue. They don’t just turn green.”
They squint at each other for a long moment, trying to figure out who’s wrong and in what way. Duke’s pretty sure Danny’s wrong, since he can’t exactly see his own eyes, and Duke has spent an embarrassing amount of time just admiring how nice they are in different kinds of light. But also, they are Danny’s eyes, so he should know what color they are.
Then Danny’s coworker is setting down Duke’s drink on the pick up counter, giving Danny an excuse to get back to work.
“One medium oatmeal cookie iced latte for Cornelius Aggravating Douglas.” He holds up the drink and makes very direct eye contact with Duke, holding out the drink towards him.
“Did you really have to make the initials ‘Cad’?”
“Yes.”
“Fair enough,” Duke says, making Danny crack a smile. 
“Are you heading out after this?”
Duke grabs a straw and sticks it into his latte, swirling it around some. “That was the plan, yeah. Got a few library books to pick up. Why?”
“I got approval for a half shift today, so I’m off in like ten minutes, if you wanna wait for me.”
“Hell yeah, dude! I’ll wait outside so I don’t distract you with my flirtatious winks again.”
“Get out of here,” Danny laughs. Duke lifts his drink in a quick toast, then gets out of there. He takes a seat at one of the tables out front, content to just people watch as he slowly sips his latte.  
It’s cloudy out, but not raining, which is always a plus. As much as he’d like to see the sun, these kinds of days aren’t so bad, either. The wind still carries a bit of a chill, but the spring is steadily warming things up. There are tons of people out, a constant rush of movement, but a few do catch sight of him, then look towards the cafe, their steps slowing down as they think. Most keep walking, but Duke does manage to get a few to go in just by taking a long sip of his latte to really enjoy it.
Really, he should be getting compensated for the work he’s doing to draw people in. Danny’s not the only one who can do it. 
Bruce keeps offering him money, so he doesn’t need to get paid, but maybe he can convince the other employees to talk Danny into accepting one of his pick up lines so they can go on a date one of these days. 
It’s become a bit of a joke, but the first time Duke used a cheesy pick up line on Danny, he was being absolutely serious about it. He definitely shouldn’t have used a pick up line he found from a website centered on relationship advice, but he panicked and needed some extra help. 
Instead of smoothly asking Danny out on a date, Duke froze up, blurted out the pick up line, then had to laugh it off with Danny and pretend it was a joke. 
He still wishes he was able to ask Danny out properly before, but he’s also glad that they got to spend more time as friends, getting to know each other. It’s easier to be with him now, no longer so tongue tied and flustered. 
Duke gets to fluster Danny now, which is much better. 
And maybe one day his pick up lines will work! Sooner or later Danny’s going to question why he keeps doing this, and then he’ll connect the dots and understand what Duke feels for him.
As it is, he has yet to connect shit. 
“My eyes are definitely blue,” Danny says as he walks out of the cafe, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. “I checked while I was putting my apron away.”
“You’re still on that?”
“They’re blue.”
Duke gestures for Danny to come closer. He complies and leans down, letting Duke cup his face in his hands. He checks, considers, then checks again, and says, “They are indeed blue.”
“Told you they weren’t green,” Danny says smugly, pulling back. 
“And I said they were green sometimes. Now clearly isn’t one of those times, but they do turn green!”
“I don’t think you should be allowed to say any eye-related pick up lines until you admit that you were wrong and didn’t know my eye color.”
Shaking his head, Duke stands up and pushes in his chair. “Just wait, I’ll catch it sometime and prove it to you.”
“Sure, whatever. Don’t you have library books to get?”
“Yeah, you coming with?”
“Obviously. Why else would I leave my wonderful job where I am left alone to make drinks in peace?” Danny knocks his shoulder against Duke playfully, then reaches over and steals his drink right out of his hand. He takes a sip, makes a pleased hum, and drains half of what was left in the cup. 
“Hey!” Duke moves to take it back, which is naturally the exact moment Danny takes off running, effortlessly dodging everyone else on the sidewalk. He takes off after Danny, using his powers to make sure he can move out of the way of anything or anyone who gets in his path. 
They’re past the block when Danny starts to slow down, taking another sip of Duke’s latte. 
He puts on a final burst of speed and all but tackles Danny into the mouth of an alley, reaching for his cup. “Gotcha!”
“No!” Danny wails dramatically. He takes a step back and Duke watches as his power kicks up again, showing him a vision of Danny stepping on an empty can and falling back. Except he doesn’t really fall back? His foot rolls back on the can for a second, then goes through the can and settles back onto the ground where he catches his balance. Through the entire three second fall, Danny’s eyes are a bright green, brighter than Duke’s ever seen them.
His vision fades away and he moves to catch Danny, taking the chance to watch carefully as Danny’s foot does indeed go through the can. He quickly brings his gaze up to Danny’s eyes, which are green, but not inhumanly bright like they were in his vision.
Is the green not perceptible to normal humans?
He can probably only see it due to his powers. Which means he somewhat inadvertently outed himself as a meta.
Whoops!
Might as well just bite the bullet.
“Hey, do you have powers?” 
Danny chokes, shoving Duke away as he coughs and tries to clear his throat. He looks panicked, wild-eyed, searching for an escape route. “What? No. Why would I have powers? Maybe you have powers, have you ever considered that?”
“I mean. I do have powers. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Hold up. Stop talking. You have powers?”
“And your eyes are green sometimes.”
“That’s. No, they’re not,” Danny lies. It’s a very bad lie, seeing how on edge he is, and as much as Duke hates making Danny feel like that, he did get some bad habits while training with Bruce and this is one of them: the need to keep pushing, chasing after clear answers regardless of what the cost is. 
Duke shrugs, taking a sip of his latte, down to its last few mouthfuls, acting casual. “If you say so. But my powers don’t lie, man. As much as I wish they would, sometimes.”
“...Can we not do this out here?” The defeated tone Danny speaks with makes Duke hate himself. But he needs answers now. He needs to know if Danny is like him, if he’s safe, if he needs help. He needs it more than he needs Danny to like him at all. 
“Sure. I know a few quiet places we can talk.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Danny mutters. “Did my eyes really give it away?”
“Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I also didn’t realize until literally right now, so I don’t think anyone else will figure it out just from staring into your eyes.”
“See, this is what happens when you keep flirting when you don’t mean it. Secrets get pulled out into the open and it’s bad for everyone!”
Duke lightly punches Danny’s arm, trying to lift the mood. “Hey, who said I didn’t mean it?”
“What?”
“Who said I didn’t mean it when I flirt with you?”
Danny blinks at him, confused, then says, “I mean, no one I guess. But it’s pretty obvious?”
“I only flirt with you, you know.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Duke says, trying to ignore how his voice shakes slightly. “There’s another one of my secrets. Can we call it even now?”
“Oh!” The shock of the revelation distracts Danny from his earlier nerves. Which is great, because now Duke is the one who’s nervous. It’s worth it, though, seeing the pretty blush come to bloom on Danny’s cheeks. “So all those pick up lines—”
“Yeah.”
“And the pick up line made you realize my powers!” 
“These pick up lines are doing the most,” Duke agrees. And then he realizes, “Hey, you what this means? I was right! Your eyes are windows to your soul!”
“I’m going to hit you,” Danny says, already winding back for a solid punch. He lets Danny hit him since it’s only fair for the stress he caused; as a meta, Duke knows how important secrecy is, how the difference between life and death can be just how well his powers are hidden. 
“Are we even now?”
Danny considers him for a moment, then sighs. “Yeah, I guess. Let’s be done with this for now, okay? Let’s go to the library.”
He refuses to entertain any conversation about powers or Duke’s feelings for him. It’s nice to spend time with Danny, but by the end, Duke is sure he can feel his heart start to crack in half. A sleepless night awaits him when he gets home, moving past his cousin’s attempts to talk to him in favor of flopping face down onto his bed.
But the next day, Danny grins at him when he walks into the cafe. He doesn’t have a new pick up line, choosing instead to act as calm and casual as possible to give Danny some space.
Also breaking routine, Danny insists on personally making Duke’s drink, writing something onto the cup before he fills it up with a floral tea. 
You’re so fine, you made me forget my pick up line, is scrawled on the side of his cup when he gets it. 
“Enjoy your drink, Cutiepie the Third,” Danny says with a shy smile.
“The Third?” Duke repeats, relief making him feel lighter than air, “Who are the first two?”
“Don’t worry about it, cutie. Get to class!”
Duke lets Danny chase him out, and holds in his laugh when he hears Danny’s coworker screech, “What was that?!”
Yeah, they’ll be fine. In the meantime, Duke needs to see if apology pick up lines are thing. Danny definitely deserves one.
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puppetmaster13u · 2 months
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Another Prompt in Memes?! Yes.
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bellamysgriffin · 3 months
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ULTIMATE SHIPS CHALLENGE - Face-Touching Scenes [1/5]
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sunlit-mess · 3 days
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HI, I LOVE YOUR ART SO MUCH!! Can I ask what brush you use for line art /nf? I LOVE the texture of your art SO MUCH!! I could list for a while on everything I love about it. Your art makes me want to draw!! Have a great day!!!
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here you go! ::)
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