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#they kept it real and for all the actual drama in the show it was reasonable
cuffs-crew · 1 year
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The reason I liked Young Royals so much was because it set itself up to be another Netflix over-dramatic glorified teen sex show and at every single turn went out of its way to NOT be that
The moment I realized that it was going to be genuinely good was the first Felice/Wilhelm kiss. I expected there to be a big event around it, for simon to see it or someone else to talk about it but they didn’t. I was actually shocked but so happy because they were clearly trying to make the show as down to earth as they could with the plot they had to work with.  And when someone did see them in the 2nd season it was resolved almost immediately. Whatever misunderstandings there were got resolved quickly and the characters all talked about it and made sure it wasn’t going to be an issue. (also gave us the funniest moment in the show aka simon trying to beat wille w a dodgeball) At it’s core Young Royals is good because it has good characters and the plot, while important, relies more on the characters themselves being authentic people who you simply want to see more of. That is VERY unusual for a netflix show of this type but was so lovely that it turned out the way it did
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perilegs · 11 months
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i think i'm the perfect family gathering babysitter bc i LOVE hearing people just go off about whatever topic and children LOVE doing that
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klausysworld · 3 months
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Hi could you write some angst about a deeply insecure reader who hates her appearance and is sort of friends with Elena and everyone(pushed to the side kind of relationship)but when klaus comes around it’s clear that she has a crush but believes he’s out of her league then klaus uses it to his advantage by showing an interest in her for information and helps her with her self worth.klaus then starts to develop feelings for her but then it’s revealed that he was just manipulating her and reader is devastated and utterly humiliated and it sets her back to how she was before him.(sorry if that was a really long explanation,you can decide the ending)thanks I love your writing btw
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Real
Growing up in Mystic Falls is a bizarre experience.
There were town events almost every month where you had to dress up and act better than everyone, parents basically had a competition over who had the prettiest daughters or the most handsome sons.
Not my parents.
They didn't think I was good enough to even pretend that I could compete. I was told my worth from a young age and became more aware of it with time. When your own parents don't think you're good enough it's sort of an eye-opener if you will.
It didn't help that everyone in this town seemed to be born into modelling.
Somehow I was lucky enough to wind up 'friends' with people like Elena, Caroline and Bonnie but I knew I didn't belong with them. Somehow they were gorgeous enough to get whatever they wanted.
Sometimes I wondered if everyone else at the age of 17 looked like them and I was behind or if somewhere, I was above average. I doubted it. A lot.
Occasionally I would look at a mirror and think that I wasn't even that bad to look at. There was nothing particularly ugly about me, there just wasn't anything special. I looked plain in a way, bland and forgettable.
I was very forgettable actually. My 'friends' made that abundantly clear throughout the years when they would go out without me or forget to ask if I also wanted something or liked something.
Somehow I was of no value to them. Perhaps I was simply there to amplify their beauty. Like a DUFF. I was definitely the DUFF.
Damon actually told me that I was once, after Tyler had made the joke and Damon asked what it meant. Even though I already knew it to be true, to be told it was much worse.
You could sort of tell everyone else was thinking it, especially when I was stood beside Caroline.
Stefan was the only one who was nice but I wasn't sure if it was out of pity or just because that was who he was. Then again, I'd rather just not know.
So I tried my best to keep in the background, avoid attention and stay out the way.
Even with all the vampire and werewolf drama that took course, I kept myself quiet and to the side. Strangely it was Katherine who was kind to me, whether she had an ulterior motif I'm not so sure anymore but she never hurt me in the time she was there. Neither did Elijah when he came to town, he was polite to everyone but it was obvious that my presence was irrelevant to him.
And then of course, Klaus arrived.
I didn't officially meet him until the senior prank night, he sort of just threw to the side and told me to keep my mouth closed and not to bother running because he'd just kill me. Part of me thought about running anyway so he would just end it but I didn't.
Klaus dragged me by my wrist into his car, told me to keep quiet while he drove Elena to the hospital. For whatever reason he brought me along and left me in the car as he went to drain her of blood for his hybrids. I did as told: sat silently and waited.
He came back out and spoke to Damon for a moment, I saw them glance over in my direction only for Damon to laugh and smirk. I sighed to myself and got out the car. It was clear that Klaus thought I could be a good pawn but was surly mistaken and Damon told him to do whatever he wanted to me. In response I walked home, neither noticed so it was fine.
A week or so later he came back, crashed homecoming or something? I dunno, I wasn't there but I was told about it the next day via a stroppy Caroline.
It was that same day that he came and sat beside me at the grill. I ignored him for the most part, confused by his attempt at what I could only guess was flirting? I wasn't really sure. I think he could tell.
"Not easily impressed are you love?" he questioned as he leant forward, uncomfortably close. I sort of just looked at him, still unsure to what he wanted. A smirk pulled at the end of his lips and his hand lifted, his fingers wrapping around a piece of my hair making frown and pull away abruptly. Without hesitation I stood up and spun on my heel, going to leave. His laugh followed me and a hand grabbed my waits, it was stange.
"Calm down love, It's not like I was going to rip it out, I just wondered what it felt like" he chuckled, pulling my back flush against his front making me tense and squirm.
"It feels like hair" I stated simply "Now get off" I grunted, shoving my elbow into his side to make him let go. I kept walking, keeping my eyes on the ground.
The next time I saw him he apologised for the previous encounter which again, i didn't understand but there was no point in questioning and arguing so I just accepted it and tried to leave but he asked if I'd stay for one drink, he asked so nicely and he smiled. I was stupid enough to think it was genuine and accepted.
Looking back it was pretty obvious that this was a game for him or a trap, whatever you want to label it but in the moment I ignored what was right in my face. Deep down I knew it was all a joke of sorts really.
But no boy, let alone a man had shown me this sort of attention and the soft fluttering it made me feel had me staying for far too long. I listened to his little stories and asked a range of questions as the drinks kept coming. He asked a couple about me but i gave relatively vague answers. There wasn't much I had to give him on me, I wasn't up for a pity party about friends and I didn't really fancy talking about my shitty parents either. I think Klaus picked up on the fact that I didn't really want to talk about me and eventually gave up with it.
It was late when I realised I needed to get home and he offered to take me which I admit made me wary. I didn't want him to kidnap me and think I'd be any good as leverage again, though I guess Damon made that pretty clear already. I decided to just walk home which he eventually accepted and got into his car.
Walking by myself probably wasn't my best option after drinking so much in one go but I made it home with minimal stumbling. My mother shook her head when she saw me and asked what was wrong with me. When she realised I had been drinking her mind jumped to two very different conclusions. The first being that I was being a slut which was ironic as in the past she'd made it clear that no guy would want to sleep with me, and the second being that I had taken pills to kill myself.
Listening to her drastic thinking made me wonder what kind of pills she was on but I didn't question it and waited for my father to come and take her to bed, telling her to just ignore me. Then I proceeded to make my way to the bathroom, getting changed and washing my face before going to my bed.
My phone dinged making me sigh, thinking it was Elena asking me to help her with something dumb and life threatening however much to my surprise it was Klaus. A smile involuntarily spread across my face and we messaged back and forth before he told me to rest.
The following few days he would just check in. Not too much but he also made it clear that he hadn't forgotten me which was all I had ever truly wanted from someone. To be acknowledged at the very least.
Of course I didn't tell the others that he had been talking to me, besides they didn't ask so I didn't see why I should. I guess I just wanted something for myself.
I wasn't completely stupid. I always had the feeling that he was using me, especially towards the start...but he was just so wonderful with his words and his ways.
When he began to make and buy sweet gifts and claim they were tokens of his affection, I couldn't help the blush on my face. When he would find a way to have his skin against mine, or how he would pick up my hand and gently tug my along. Somehow we always seemed to end up somewhere for food, and he would always refuse to let me pay.
Something about him was so enticing, addictive if you will.
He began to make me feel a certain way. He made me warm and happy. His touch was so soft, it made me feel like I was buzzing. i was stupid for thinking he could feel the same way about me.
I had been so scared to admit my feelings.
He had assured me that he would never push me to.
He told me that he liked me, that he didn't want me to be frightened of him or nervous around him. "Not unless it's the sort of nervous that puts butterflies in your stomach sweetheart" he had teased and my cheeks had glowed red.
Over the space of months his presence never lessoned. He always made time to see me, and speak with me. I found myself longing for his voice, his touch.
On days where he was too busy at home, he would urge me to come over. I would spend as long as I possibly could with him, a few times I even stayed over but he had slept on top of the duvet so that I would feel comfortable.
This had gone on for a small while until he actually said the words 'I love you'.
Perhaps I was just so happy to actually hear those words. Maybe I believed them to be true, real. Or I just saw what I wanted to see, heard what I wanted to hear and ignored the rest.
The time I gave myself to him used to make my smile and blush. Now it just makes me feel dirty, humiliated and embarrassed.
Knowing that he could and has had his hands all over my body, his lips and eyes. In the moment I felt like a goddess, probably because that’s what he told me I was. The memory of him inside me haunts me. I had thought it to be such a beautiful experience, romantic and personal.
I wish I could say that I had slept with him only once but as the months went by we would share intimacy often.
I had even told him that I loved him, so many times and I meant it for all of them.
So you should understand why it was so hard to accidentally hear him tell his sister that he had been compelling me for any information on the others.
It had felt as though my heart had stopped when the words hit my ears and tears already made my eyes burn. I heard a weak laugh and turned my head to see Damon, strung up by chains whilst bleeding all over, looking straight back at me.
“Y/n…” I heard Klaus’s voice, his tone one of panic or maybe it was just surprise. He probably didn’t want me to know of his routine. Damon only rolled his eyes and gave me look,
“You didn’t…think it was real, right?” He coughed, a cruel smile on his face.
His words just made me quieter. They made me think. Why did I think it was real?
My eyes slowly lifted to meet Klaus’s. I could see and feel Rebekah looking at me, everyone was silent. Even Damon shut up for a second. I think maybe he was expecting me to say something but I didn’t really have anything to tell him.
As awful as it all made me feel, and even with the amount of emotions swallowing me, I felt more disappointed in myself than I did him.
My right hand went to my left arm, pinching my skin through my jumper in some sort of hope that I’d wake up from some stupid nightmare but it didn’t work.
The first tear fell from my eye and I sniffed to keep the other ones from coming.
Klaus just looked at me, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, I didn’t want to know either. I could just guess anyway.
So without a word I just turned around and left, walking quickly back out the door before breaking into a sprint in the direction of my house. I could feel the mascara running down my face, ruining the foundation I had only recently started wearing, for Klaus’s benefit.
My hands wiped at the tears as I pushed my from door shut behind me and went upstairs, blocking out the annoyed voices of my parents and locking myself in my room.
It was only once I was in the shower that I was flooded with memories. That I remembered all the things I had done with him. By the time I stepped out of the bathroom my skin was scrubbed raw in an attempt to wash his touch away. Even the slightest touch made me feel as though my body was burning, stinging with pain but I would have rather felt that every day than have to realise Klaus had been using me for over a year now.
I was curled in my bed, hidden under the blankets and surrounded by the dark as I let every comment not matter how small or petty play back through my mind.
I wasn’t even sure who to be upset with. I chose myself.
Klaus must’ve known I was an easy target. Desperate. I wonder how much he’s had me tell him. To be fair I knew more than you’d expect about what was going on. I had gotten good at observing and overhearing so I still knew what was going on, even when spending so much time with Klaus himself.
I also wondered what else he had compelled me to do. I hoped he wouldn’t do anything other than ask questions but I couldn’t help that fear creep inside me. It made me sick to my stomach, and then I wondered if he would just wait to compel me again so that I could continue to be his information feeder.
The idea made my fingers dig into my arm, bruising the skin purple but I wouldn’t stop. I only did so that I could go get some vervain that I kept downstairs in one of the cupboards at the back. I was reaching for the little glass bottle when I heard a door close. I spun around quickly to see Klaus in the doorway of my kitchen. My hand clutched onto the vervain tightly and I noticed his eyes glance at it briefly. His hands went up as if to show no harm but there was no way I would believe that meant a thing.
“Sweetheart- listen to me..” he began and I let out a breathless laugh
“Get out�� I whispered making him sigh and frown as though he had the audacity to be upset or annoyed.
“Y/n..”
“No Klaus. I’m fucking serious, get out.” I told him, my eyes watering again. I let out an involuntary whimper when he stepped forward making him stop and stand still.
“I never meant for you to know that” he whispered and I frowned, swiping a tear away.
“Sorry I ruined your plan” I mumble, exhausted.
“No- no I didn’t mean it like that- I meant that-“
“Klaus it’s fine” I murmur, avoiding his eye, “It’s fine, I get it. You needed to know what was happening, you got to be two steps ahead. I’d appreciate if you just found someone else now please”
I could feel his stare on me, it make my skin itch and I just needed him to go. I could feel my hand getting clammy as I held onto the bottle.
“I haven’t compelled you in such a long time” he muttered, as though maybe that made it better. “I used to, but I truly have fallen for you Y/n. I love-“
“Please get out” I cut him off, my spare hand resting on my forehead to cover my eyes.
“I love you”
“No you don’t” I cry, “you wouldn’t do this to someone you love. I know you don’t love me. You never have and you never could. You’re just pretending again so I’ll let you control me, I don’t like it” I whimper, tears streaming again. I could hear him getting closer but I was already against the counter and I couldn’t out run him. There was no point in trying.
“Sweetheart, I’ll never use you again-“ he tried to argue but I couldn’t listen to it.
“I really, really need you to leave. Please Klaus just get out, I can’t stand you” I tell him honestly and for a second as I look up at him, he looks almost sad but I have to assume it’s still apart of his act.
“You- you’re not going to do anything…anything harmful are you? To yourself, I mean.” He asked and I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. I should never have told him that I’d had those thoughts or feelings once. I shouldn’t have ever said a word to him.
“No…now go away” I whisper, my hands trembling as I stared at the ground, listening to his footsteps eventually get further away.
I knew there was no way I could sleep, he was probably still outside my house. Waiting.
I wasn’t sure what he was waiting for but I could him there.
I had no idea what I was going to do.
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vikkirosko · 3 months
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Hello. Can I request Mammon, Andrealphus, Ozzie (+ Fizz), Husk and Vox with sinner S/O, who can reader others auras (like Dawn from Total Drama) and could do this even as a human?
Headcanons Auras
🃏 Husk x Reader 🥃
You and Husk met at the hotel. You were one of the first guests there, and the only one who really believed that there was an opportunity to atone for sins. However, there was something else that seemed strange to others. You could read other people's auras
Your words about reading auras were like you could do magic. He didn't know how true your words were, but it reminded him of the time when he was alive. You didn't look like magicians who staged magic shows, but you were able to arouse his curiosity, so he, with quite real enthusiasm, asked you about your abilities, which turned out to be quite real
You told him that you could read auras seemingly from birth. Because of this, you used to have a lot of problems and you used to hide it. When you told him about it, you said you wanted to do something very important. Husk didn't immediately understand what you meant, but he quickly understood why you warned him, because the important thing was hugs. You hugged him, quietly telling him that you had noticed from your first meeting how sad his aura was
If there was someone else next to you, he would have pushed you away, but now you were alone, so he hesitantly hugged you back. He didn't admit that you seemed like a nice person to him, and now he wasn't ready to admit that his heart felt warm from your care. You saw how hard it was for him and sincerely wanted to support and help him. For Husk, who was used to numbing the pain of alcohol, it meant a lot
🖥 Vox x Reader 📱
You met Vox thanks to Velvet. You worked for her, often accompanying her and quite often helping Velvet. At first, Vox didn't pay attention to you, but he wondered why she kept you next to her. Velvet told him that one of the reasons was that he saw the auras of others
At first, Vox did not believe what Velvet told him, and at some point forgot about it completely. He remembered this when he came irritated to a meeting with Velvet and Valentino. They were both late, but you were in the room. Vox hid his irritation well, which only intensified, but you said that Velvet and Valentino would come very soon. When Vox told you that he didn't care at all, you told him that it wasn't true and that his aura spoke more honestly about him than his words
You could actually read the auras of others. It was with you even before your death and often helped you, both before and after death. Vox started taking you with him a lot, even if he wasn't planning on going anywhere. Velvet was initially outraged, because you were her subordinate, but over time she stopped worrying too much about it. You told Vox about auras, and over time your topics of conversation began to change. He was more interested in your personality than your ability to read auras, even though he considered it a useful skill
Vox himself did not notice how his interest in you began to have more than just a business character. He wanted to get to know you better. He wasn't ready to admit to himself or others that it was more than just an interest, but it wasn't as easy to hide it from you as it seemed to him
🦚 Andrealphus x Reader ❄️
Your acquaintance with Andrealphus was due to his sister. He was very surprised that she was communicating with an ordinary sinner. It could only mean that you stood out among them in some way, and that piqued his curiosity. Outwardly, you seemed like an ordinary sinner. You were quiet, calm, but you guessed the moods of the people around you with amazing accuracy. When Andrealphus asked you directly about this, you honestly told him that you can read other people's auras
At first, your words seemed to him nonsense, but when you said something about him that even his sister did not know, he became convinced that you really were different from other sinners. He was trying to find out who you made a deal with in exchange for your power, but as you said yourself, it was from birth. Even when you were alive, you could read other people's auras, even though you had to hide it for your own safety. Andrealphus was wondering what other secrets you kept and how else your ability could help
Andrealphus gave you a job to make sure that your power would not be used against him. Sometimes you seemed strange to him, but over time you began to communicate. Sometimes he thought that if you had been born in Hell, he would have turned his attention to you long ago, but better late than never
Andrealphus hid the feelings he started to have for you. It wasn't something he was willing to reveal even to you, which was directly related to his feelings. He saw how you became more open towards him and your relationship became better. He intended to tell you about his feelings, but not anytime soon, he wasn't ready to admit that he had feelings for a sinner
🎪 Fizzarolli x Reader x Asmodeus 💕
You met Fizzarolli before his career began. You were a friendly and gentle sinner who perfectly guessed the moods of others. You were there for Fizzarolli even after he was injured and you met Asmodeus together. He was one of the first people you had a hard time understanding
Only after a while did you tell them both your secret, which you could only entrust to them, the two whom you trusted and whom you loved. You could read people's auras. This ability was with you back when you were alive and you didn't know where this ability came from, but you used it to simplify your life, and even in Hell this ability remained with you. You could easily read the auras of other sinners, you could read the auras of the hellborn, but it was very difficult for you to read Asmodeus' aura and you did not understand the reason. They both listened to you, but their opinion of you didn't get any worse, to your relief
Ozzie offered to try to develop your new skills, seeing potential in them, but he did not force you, reminding you to focus on your sense of comfort, because he sincerely loved you and did not want you to force yourself to do anything. Ozzie and Fizz supported you when you began to develop your abilities, under the strict guidance of Asmodeus, and you supported them and took care of both of them
You didn't use your ability on purpose, because for you to see other people's auras was as natural as breathing, which they both knew. Asmodeus and Fizzarolli didn't consider your abilities to be something that they should have started treating you differently. For them, you were still the same (Y/N), and that wouldn't have changed even if reading auras wasn't the only thing you hid from them
🤡 Mammon x Reader 💰
Mammon found out about you through rumors. He heard that there was a sinner in Hell who had the strange power to read other people's minds. Even in Hell, this was not so easy to meet, and Mammon saw this as a benefit for himself. He decided to use this ability and arranged your meeting for this, but you turned out to be not what he expected. You were kind and attentive to others, but more importantly, you couldn't read minds, you could read other people's auras
Mammon hired you anyway and it took you a while to explain to him how your skill works. You told him that you didn't get this skill in Hell. You were born with this skill and didn't know where you got this ability from. For you, reading other people's auras was as natural as breathing. You told him about other people's auras and what the colors of the auras meant. You've become something like his assistant
Over time, Mammon became attached to you. You were the one who always listened to him and by one look at him you understood what kind of emotions he was experiencing, although it was more difficult to read his aura than the auras of sinners. Mammon boldly called you his friend and you didn't argue with that, even when you noticed that he began to feel more than friendly feelings for you
Working for Mammon was a big leap up for you, but you weren't going to use it. Your friendliness towards him was sincere and you hoped that you would be able to see his sincerity someday, not only in his aura, but also in his actions
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joelsmochi · 5 months
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Diet Mountain Dew
rating: E 18+ only pairing: f!reader x bfd!joel miller (tv + game series) summary: your boyfriend has been cheating on you, but his uncaring, selfish, and very flirtatious father wants to make it up to you the best way he knows how... warnings: AU (no apocalypse, no sarah), infidelity, 30+ year age gap, asphyxiophilia, dacryphilia, a little rough housing, hair pulling, spanking, oral (m receiving) | let me know if i've missed any! wc: 5.5k a/n: thank you for 500 followers!!! let the record show that i do not condone or endorse cheating at all, this is purely for entertainment purposes!!! i tried something a little bit different with the writing style so please let me know if you guys like it or not!
you’re no good for me, but baby i want you…
He couldn’t help his filthy mind. Even if he wanted to. Being around you was always a test of his willpower.
He kept as much distance as respectfully possible, not wanting to give himself away. Still, every night he managed to find himself lying in bed fisting his cock while entertaining the daydreams he often had of fucking you into the bed.
It wasn’t the age difference that deterred him from you, but the mere fact that you were dating his son.
He hated himself for it, but he hated it even more when he would be painting his stomach with white streaks and barely whispering remnants of your name.
And now, as he sits across from you and his son at the dinner table, he hates himself for finding you so pretty.
His eyes keep lowering to look at your grey and white striped tank top — not because he was trying to look at your cleavage but because it fits you perfectly. You kept fidgeting with the top hem of your shirt as if you were ensuring it wasn’t shifting too low. He thought it was cute.
Your voice left him in a trance; he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, but he enjoyed hearing you rave and ramble about the movie you just went to.
The real mood killer was Jacob — “Okay, we get it. It was a good movie,” he snapped.
“Jacob,” Joel scolded. Though the pout you absentmindedly wore told Joel that it was pointless.
Jacob made an incredulous face and slightly shrugged. “What? She’s been talking about the movie for ten minutes. I feel like I saw the damn thing.”
“Well, I happen to like spoilers.” Joel meant it as a joke in hopes of lightening the mood, but once he saw the slight smile on your face, he felt a sudden rush of protectiveness.
How he could appreciate you more than his son did was beyond him. Joel just hoped it wasn’t a more significant issue behind closed doors.
Over the next few months, Joel had been seeing less and less of you and even managed to overhear some of the times Jacob had been arguing with you over the phone.
From the only half of the conversation he could hear, Joel gathered that you were upset that Jacob was spending more time with “friends” than you, which led Joel to believe it was more of an indication of cheating. He stayed tightlipped about it because he had no desire to stir up any unnecessary drama, but his curiosity grew as time passed.
So when he saw you grabbing some cereal in the grocery store on a random Tuesday, he wasted no time approaching you.
You seemed surprised at him calling your name but gave him a welcoming smile nonetheless.
“Hi, Joel, how are you?”
“I’m alright, how ‘bout you? Feel like I haven’t seen you around lately.”
Your smile nearly dropped completely. “Yeah, uh. Jacob and I are just going through a tough time right now.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Joel said softly, not really meaning it. “My son aside, I do actually enjoy your company. I mean, you’re the only twenty-four year old I know that likes U2.”
That made you chuckle. “Oh, is my seasoned music taste the only thing I have going for myself,” you bantered.
He tried to contain his blush as if it were even possible. “No, not at all,” he sarcastically replied. “You also don’t use like or totally after every other word.”
You laughed harder at that, maybe a little more than necessary, but it was nice to be complimented on things other than how ‘good you give head.’
A few minutes later, you told Joel you have to get going, and for some reason, he took it as the chance to say, “Next week, they’ll have that new Daniel Craig movie in theaters. I was wonderin’ if you’d want to go. I remember you said something about it.”
You smirked up at him and narrowed your eyes slowly. “Are you asking your son’s girlfriend on a date, Mr. Miller?”
Kind of, he thought.
“No! No, fuck,” he hissed, pinching his nose bridge and squeezing his eyes shut. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”
And there’s another cute laugh coming out of you. “I’m teasin’. I think it might be a little weird, y’know?”
“Jake can come if you want. Doesn’t have to just be you and me.”
“Mmm… I kinda don’t want him to,” you admitted. “He’ll just complain the whole time. We’re friends, right? Let’s go, just you and me.” Your optimism plastered a smile on his face, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t think it was cute. He agreed, and you both said your goodbyes.
As you walked away, you felt a pang of guilt for some reason. It wasn’t a date, but it felt like one. This sudden need to impress Joel Miller (formerly anticipated father-in-law) made you feel weird.
But you thought of all the nights you spent home alone watching movies because your boyfriend was out late again. And again. And again.
After a long and stressful internal debate inside a bath with some Epsom salts, you decided not to care.
So what if you wanted to dress up and wear a little makeup to (hopefully) catch your boyfriend’s dad’s attention? It's not like your boyfriend didn’t spend time doing body shots off of some random girl at the furthest bar across town.
A little male attention wouldn’t hurt anything, right? 
Besides, you didn’t think Joel would actually care. Pretending it was a date was purely just for your entertainment.
So when the day came, you practically ran outside the second you got a text message from him saying he was there. He chewed on his bottom lip to restrain his grin as he watched you walk towards his car, wearing a denim mini-skirt and a white babydoll top.
Your hair was neat and tucked behind your ears, and you were visibly wearing more makeup than usual.
He felt flattered, entertaining the idea of you putting in a little extra effort just for him.
The ride to the car wasn’t as tense as you had anticipated. You both spent it to talk about the previous movie and the theories you both had for the new one.
While you both were excited to see the actual movie, neither of you could stop noticing the small details about each other.
He smelled your lotion. You smelled his body wash.
He noticed your new earrings. You caught him smiling a lot more.
He looked at you every chance he got. You waited until he looked away to look at him.
He insisted on paying for your tickets and food at the theater, then led you to the “best seats” in the viewing room. Not a date, your ass. He even looked like he put effort into buying a new pair of jeans.
The tension inside you grew as soon as the movie began. And fucking hell, you didn’t know you could get so horny so fast. It was stupid little things that made you clench your thighs occasionally.
No fingers brushing. No elbows touching. Nothing like that.
Instead, it was the sound of his fingernails scratching the thick layer of scruff along his jaw, how he occasionally readjusted in his seat and seemingly spread his legs a little more, and when he would look over at you to ensure you were enjoying the movie.
This had gone a little further in your head than you intended, but you didn’t fucking want it to stop.
Maybe halfway through the movie, he realized you hadn't opened any of your candy. You always ate candy during a movie; it was something Jacob found cute when you first started dating and something Joel grew accustomed to long before his crush even developed. Joel even made it a point to keep a stash for when Jacob had you over for movie night.
He felt a little silly for hyper-fixating on such a weird and relatively small detail, but then he saw your legs clench together. He tried telling himself you were only readjusting your position, but then you sighed in a peculiar tone. The sigh that Joel always let out when he was sexually frustrated.
He would have continued telling himself he was reading too much into it, but another soft sigh left your lips, and suddenly, all he could think about was having you beneath him making the same pretty noises.
All the signs were there, but who would initiate it, and how? He worried he bit off more than he could chew by inviting you here. It only got more difficult to ignore when his cock stiffened inside his jeans, rolling his eyes at the fact that he wasn’t in the comfort of his own home to take care of it.
You noticed his hand palming his jeans and glanced over at him, only to see his erection throb against his pants, hard.
Knowing you’d probably regret it, you put your hand beneath the armrest and suddenly rested your hand high up on his thigh. His body tensing made you halt any more sudden movements, but nothing suggested he wanted you to stop.
He searched for the strength to push your hand off and tell you to stop, that this was wrong, and to remind you of your assumed loyalty to his son.
But he didn’t want that at all.
He liked having your hand on his thigh where it felt like it belonged, painted nails drawing small circles along the denim.
What he truly needed was for this fucking movie to be over. Once it finally was, he wasted no time getting you back into his truck.
“Joel?” Your voice was fragile and soft, and you wondered why he hadn’t made a move yet or at least started the engine. “Should I not have done that?”
“What were you thinkin’?” Was all he could think to ask.
“Guess I wasn’t.”
“No. You shouldn’t’a done that.”
“I’m sorry…”
“You will be.”
You don’t remember who initiated it or climbed in the backseat first. All you knew was that you were looking at the back of a building, the mall, or something, and you heard Joel grunting next to your ear while his hips slammed against your ass.
You felt a soreness forming around where his rough hands were holding you, but you didn’t flinch or pull away. You leaned into the meanness of his grip, allowing it to satiate all of that burning desire running along your flesh.
“Oh my God, Joel, ye-yes.”
His name dripping so effortlessly from your lips only urged him to fuck you even faster, his truck no doubt shaking violently because of it, some metal underneath made that obnoxious creaking sound to verify.
“You like that, huh,” he groaned; his fingers wrapped around the cuff of your elbow to meet his body halfway with the thrusts. “Needy fuckin’ girl. Takin’ me so well-agh!“
“So deep,” you huffed out.
“C’mere.”
Joel carefully turned your body around, sitting you back against the door before sliding his cock back inside of you with ease from how wet you were.
“Joel,” you moaned without reason, eyes fluttering shut as the curve of his shaft continued to rut into that sensitive spot.
He pulled the strap of your tank top down to find you braless. Of course. He smirked and licked his thumb and index finger before giving your stiff nipple a soft pinch.
Your breath shuddered at the surge of pleasure, and then he did the same thing to your clit with his other hand.
“Oh my fucking-“ You cut words off with a deep moan, finding it a little silly that such a slight squeeze to your clit could make you melt the way it did.
“Tha’ feel good, baby?” He asked, voice hoarse from choking back his own moans.
You hummed and nodded, something he thought was cute and began to rub your clit forcefully with his big thumb. Your mind felt numb from all of it, so much pleasure releasing itself.
Looking up at Joel made you feel so small, protected, and cared for. Looking down between your legs, he looked so focused on making you feel good.
“He doesn’t fuck you like this, does he?”
You shot your wide-eyed gaze up at him, surprised at his sudden appraisal of his son.
He chuckled and took his hand from your breast to softly hold your chin. “You gettin’ all shy on me now, girl?” Suddenly, he fell to an achingly slow rhythm and curled his hips into yours instead of his previous thrusting. “…I thought you had a bit more confidence than that.”
You scowled at his taunts, not sure what to say back. You just wanted to fucking cum. Noticing your lack of response made him chuckle again.
“What? My son don’t fuck you stupid like this?” He whispered onto your lips.
“…No,” you finally whimpered.
You felt a weird rush of emotion pass through you; the father of your boyfriend talking down on him while simultaneously fucking you didn’t turn you off like it maybe should have… If anything, it pushed you closer to the edge.
Joel raised his eyebrows in amusement and half smiled at your flushed face. “No?” His finger still made loops around your clits, his cock drenched in your heat. He wanted you to feel all of it.
“You make me feel so good, Joel.” You reached up to give him a chaste kiss.
“You take me so well, honey,” he said against your neck. “I want you to cum for me. Can you do that, baby? Hmm?”
You whispered out your confirmation and grabbed a hold of his greying hair. You wanted to memorize this moment thread by thread. His hair smelled of cheap shampoo and his beard of coffee, but his arms and chest smelled like him with the hint of sweat that made your eyes roll to the back of your head. God, how you could just bathe in him, cumming and unfolding in his strong arms. 
“Oh- Joel, I’m cu—I’m cumming,” you choked out. He said something about how good you were that you couldn’t quite process.
You held onto him tightly and cried out at the sensation of your knotted-up tension unraveling inside you like a Christmas present just waiting to be opened up. It fluttered and filled every corner of your mind, all while you moaned his name. You couldn’t even confuse it with his son’s. Joel.
Joel just worked better in your mind than Jacob ever could. Joel worked your body better, too. Maybe even a little better than you.
Your mind was so fucking blank that you almost didn’t feel Joel collapse onto you as he finished himself, moaning your name and running his hands all over you as if to savor it. He kissed you softly, slowly pulling out of you, and discarded the condom somewhere.
“So pretty when you cum.”
You lazily giggled at the compliment and sat up to grab your panties, but Joel snatched them from your weak hand. He took your legs and rested them in his lap to slide the fabric up your calves and thighs. You just watched and smiled at his further appreciation for your body as he did the same with your skirt.
“You really know how to treat a lady,” you playfully cooed, reaching for another kiss that he returned, savoring it.
He bashfully smiled, like his mind was elsewhere. “You know we can’t do this again, right?”
“We will,” you quipped, confidence returning; he glanced over at you and frowned, confused at the sly grin you wore proudly. You climbed onto his lap and ran your nails over his facial hair, trailing over his pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows. “The more you fight it, the more you’ll need me, Joel.”
And fuck, were you right.
Weeks. He waited weeks after that encounter to see you. Weeks, he felt disappointed when you didn’t attend the weekly dinner that Joel and Jacob agreed upon him moving out.
He no longer felt guilty touching himself to thoughts of you. He was angry. Why couldn’t you just say you agreed with him instead of letting him know there was an opportunity to do it again? Why make yourself available to anyone other than his (shitty) son?
That anger turned into thirst when you finally decided to show up for Jacob’s small birthday dinner. Aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered to wish the only child a happy birthday. Meanwhile, Joel couldn’t tear his eyes away from you the second you walked in — partially because he wasn’t expecting you to show up after not seeing you for a while, but he’d never seen you wear something so… Short.
As possessive as he wanted to be, he knew he had to keep his composure not to reward you the satisfaction and keep his promise to himself. What he hadn’t considered is that you would not make those same promises.
While Joel finished preparing the food, you told Jacob you’d help bring everything else out so he could sit around the living room and talk to his family and friends.
You took the unnecessary route and grazed your chest against Joel’s elbow as you reached into the refrigerator to grab some drinks before taking them to the other room. You made as many sly little trips like that, not looking at or towards Joel whatsoever but making sure he was looking at you.
You saved Joel’s beer for last. You always brought him his beer once you realized he usually had one before eating dinner any time you were over. It wasn’t anything malicious or sneaky until now.
You grabbed the brown glass bottle and stood next to him. Finally giving him the satisfaction of looking at him, you twisted the cap off and wrapped your lips around the cold rim, tilting the glass up and tasting some of the orange-flavored liquid, lips coming off the bottle with a pop.
Those lips. That noise. It filled his mind with the image of you a second ago, only instead of a beer bottle, he imagined his hard cock.
He watched carefully as you licked up a running droplet from the side of the neck; you held the bottle up for him to take, and tensely, he did so.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” His usual response but in a more sultry tone.
It made you blush and stare at him like he hung the stars and moon every night for you. “You’re welcome, Joel.”
He kept his eyes on you as you walked away for the last time, thinking about everything he wanted to do to you.
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His hands were firm, clasped tightly around your wrists. His body pressed into your back while he pushed you against the wall. He hated that you were laughing. That you thought this was a funny game.
He thrusted into your ass without care, hurting you slightly with the pressure. He grabbed a hold of your hair and yanked it. He almost smiled at you, yelping out.
“Where’s that little fucking smile at now, huh,” he gritted. Then he planted a hard smack to your cheek, not bothering to soothe it the slightest bit. “You think you can just tease me and test me and fucking treat me however you want? Hmm? Think you can walk around with your ass damn near hangin’ out of this fucking dress?”
A tear rolled down your burning cheek as you whimpered, “I’m sorry, Joel. I w-wanted your attention.”
“You got what you wanted. Don’t fuckin’ cry about it now.”
Feeling your panties fill with a warm desire, you felt pathetic and weak.
Do I like that, you wondered, feeling used and being hurt?
You got your confirmation from the dumb little whimper you let out when you felt Joel’s body release from you. He boots thumping against the floor a few times before the bed creaked from his body weight.
“Get on your knees,” he ordered.
You pushed away from the wall and tiptoed to him. He almost felt bad for making you cry, but you were pushing his fucking buttons all night long. You sank to the floor, sitting on your bare feet and looking at him through wet eyelashes. Joel was more than glad that Jacob decided to go to a party with his friends and even more pleased that he didn't ask questions when you said you'd stay to help Joel clean up.
“I’m sorry, Joel-“
“You will be.”
You softly smile at him, repeating those words, knowing this time he meant it.
His eyes were cold and shallow when they stared into yours as his hands worked to undo his belt buckle. The metal teeth clanking together made you shudder, and you tried your best to keep your eyes locked with his.
“You misbehave once, and this belt goes ‘round your neck,” he warned, “we clear?”
You bashfully nodded, thankful he accepted it as an answer. Though you secretly hoped he would do it already, knowing you were bound to back talk him at some point.
Joel began to undo his jeans, and he made a ticking noise behind his teeth, ruminating on how you played with him at the table.
“Playin’ with my cock under the table,” he grunted, pulling his jeans down to his knees, “what kinda girl are you?”
“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you, felt you,” you said, glancing down at the growing erection beneath his plaid boxers. “I was being needy.”
“Yes, you were,” he simpered, “but you know I like that.”
You hesitated for a second before jumping into his lap and kissing him. Thrown off, it was a moment until he relaxed into your body, grasping the sides of your waist and hungrily kissing you back with a groan emitting from his throat.
He tasted like a man. He smelled like a man. Beer and body wash and perspiration drowning your senses. Your pussy ached when he slipped his beer-coated tongue into your mouth, sloppily licking around the ridges of your teeth and lips, tasting your chapstick and that one sip of alcohol you stole from him a couple of hours prior.
He felt your shaky hands reach to pull his cock out of his boxers; you pumped it slowly with one hand between your bodies, causing his moans to fall into your mouth.
He got a hold of your tits and massaged them gently before giving your nipples both a hard pinch, making you yelp and pull away from him. After chuckling at your pouty face, he grabbed hold of your hair and pulled it to his liking, almost treating you like a rag doll.
“Need you to suck my cock,” he choked out, sounding almost as if he were pleading of you to do it.
“Are you asking?”
He tugged your hair a little harder to signal he was not asking.
“Yes, sir.”
He watched intently as you stripped down to your panties and sat back in your previous position on the floor, taking his pants off and propping your arms on his burly thighs. He leaned back after unbuttoning his shirt and watched your tongue lick up a thick bead of precum from his tip, and you swallowed it without a second thought.
You drooled and spit all over his cock, wanting to make it a little messy for him, and even spreading some around his balls which made him incandescently moan.
And finally, you took him into your mouth, slobbering and sucking and moaning away around his girth. Your hand pumped to the sane rhythm of your mouth while gently squeezing and twisting it to add to his pleasure.
Joel’s head fell back in ecstasy; he couldn’t hold back his moans even if he wanted to. Your mouth was so warm and inviting, and it felt so fucking good. Your tongue lapping away as you sucked drove him crazy, and he found himself wondering why the fuck his son was cheating on you.
“That’s it, baby—mnh, fuck,” he encouraged. “Just like that. Ohh, just like that.”
His hand stroked your hair, and you looked up at him from the touch. Those eyes of yours made his thighs twitch and his stomach contract.
He wanted to punish you for making him wait, for teasing him, for being so fucking irresistible… But he couldn’t. Not now, at least. He felt weak beneath you, out of control. And he loved it: watching you take control of him, his dick. The slurping noises coming from your mouth not only suggested that you knew what you were doing but that you fucking loved it.
Your lips humming around him and creating webs of spit and precum made his dick harder than he had ever felt it. He was so close already, dire for his release, and it didn’t help when you surprised him with a rough thrust into your throat.
It hurt a lot, but that’s what you wanted. To ruin yourself for him. Show Joel what he could be getting every fucking night. Tears ran down your cheeks as you put him further down your throat until your nose was buried into the black and grey hairs surrounding the base of his cock.
He cried out your name and obscenities, saying, “Please,” for something, but you were not sure what exactly. His trembling thighs began closing around your head, not aiding in the lack of oxygen you had left, but he tried to fight it. You refused to let up on him, only swallowing hard and gagging harder, waiting for him to shoot his cum down your throat.
“Fuckfuckfuckfuck! Oh fuck, no one- agh—no one’s ever fucking gone that deep-“
That’s what he was pleading for: he wanted you to quit. He didn’t want to cum so soon. But he tasted so good, and you had gotten him so fucking close, you couldn’t see yourself quitting now.
You pulled your head up to mess with Joel’s head, making him think you were listening. But you only went back down, making him pull your hair to stop you from disobeying him. Your lips departed from him with a pop, the same pop that he'd heard when you took a sip of his drink. It made him all the more desperate.
Despite your coughing and choking, he slipped his belt around your neck and looped it, not saying anything to ridicule you and simply tugging at the belt roughly. You choked a little more and then smiled at him, drool dripping down your chin onto your breasts. The sight was purely pornographic. Your lips were puffy, your face red, eyes dark and welling up, tears streaks on your cheekbones.
“Since you wanna fucking choke on something so bad…”
He tugged at the belt once again to emphasize his point. He stood up and yanked the leather to guide you where he wanted, yet that proud look never left your face. You were on all fours on the bed as if you were on display for him, and he stood behind you, pressing his thumb to your slit and spreading your juices around lazily.
You hummed at the small amount of friction and arched your ass up for him. Wiggling your hips in desperation, he smacked your ass hard enough to sting, the echo in the room ringing against your eardrums.
Joel smacked his fat tip against your asshole smirking when he felt it pucker; he took his wet cock in his hand, pumping it a few times before allowing it to sink inside of your needy cunt. You found yourself burying your face into the sheets as he began fucking you, the tug around your neck digging deeper as Joel maintained his grip on it.
“Such a fucking slut, so wet from just sucking my cock,” he spat, watching his cock disappear into your swelling pussy over and over and over. “S’it feel good, baby?”
You nodded, arching your back even more to feel him reach deeper and whimpering whenever his tip brutally bumped your cervix.
Suddenly, you felt a firm yank against your neck. “Use your words.”
“Feels so good, Joel,” you answered.
A swell of desire fills your belly, growing each time he thrusts into that sweet little spot inside of you. You’re clawing at the bed, reaching your neck forward to apply the satisfaction of not being able to breathe.
His free hand pressed against the swell of your ass, gripping it tightly as his hips snapped against the back of your thighs, making a clapping sound fill the room. You moaned into his duvet, slobber trailing out of the corners of your mouth. His balls hitting your clit with every thrust gave you the added pleasure you needed to finish if he kept this rhythm, but his voice was what you needed to send you over the edge.
"Such a pretty fucking pussy," he groaned. "Love how you squeeze my cock with it. Ohh, yeah, that's it, baby. You need to cum? Hmm? Does this pretty pussy need to cum?"
Your moans, muffled by the sheets, resulted in him pulling the belt up enough to make you lift your head so that he could hear you more clearly. "Yes yes yesss, Joel- MNH, oh fuck yes, please please."
He never forgot how your body gave away when you needed to cum; your body heaved with anticipation, your knuckles turned pale from your tight grip, your walls clung to him tighter than what was comfortable (which he fucking lived for then and now), and your moans heightened in pitch and volume. He couldn't punish you when you sounded so sexy screaming his name, it was his biggest weakness.
"I know, baby, I know. You can come," he encouraged sweetly, massaging the dip in your back to help relax you. "Cum for me, sweetheart. Need to feel you- fuck- cum for me."
And a few seconds later, you were convulsing beneath him from the tight coil inside of you finally breaking into shreds. The belt being pulled tighter around your neck rendered you helpless as it created the euphoria of what felt like nearly passing out. The fuzzy vision and the black spots sent your mind into a daze, or it could have been the lack of air. Your eyes grew heavy as your orgasm persisted from Joel's lack of mercy for your cunt. He just pounded away like you were made for him and his enjoyment only, and it thrilled you even more.
He grabbed your shoulder gently to bring your back to his chest and let go of the belt. You breathed heavily, and Joel kissed your jaw endearingly, his beard scraping your skin.
"So good f'me, you know that?" He moaned against your ear. His eyes fluttered shut when his hand went to cradle your chin, and he felt all of the saliva and tears coating your face. 
"Can't take it," you mumbled.
Your cunt was aching and sore, still pulsing from the harsh climax you had to endure with him not easing up at all. Your lips were swollen from his rough pounding, and your ass was burning from his hairs scratching against you. His cruel laugh filled your ears and made even more tears fall from your eyes.
"Fucking ruined you," he chuckled, earning another moan from you. "You can take it, baby. I know you can. I know you can be a good girl for me. Gonna fill you up with my cum- mmngh... Make sure this pussy knows it belongs to me."
"It does," you huff out, reaching to hold onto his forearms. "Not anyone else. Not even me. Just for you, Joel. It's all yours. Not even Jacob's."
That sent him over the edge. A pathetic whimper followed by a moan left his hoarse throat while he gave you one last powerful thrust. That cold feeling of guilt flooded his body and turned him on even more; he relished in the confidence you reclaimed, knowing that the guilt and secrecy of it all also turned you on in the darkest of ways.
"Fuck," he shouted as the last of his spend poured inside of your sore pussy. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and slowly pulled out of you to sit beside you on the bed before you climbed to straddle his thighs. "You're amazing," he whispered against your lips whilst unraveling the belt from your neck. "You know you really are gonna help me clean up," he teased, sending you into a short fit of laughter.
"Only if we get to make one more mess, Mr. Miller."
dividers by cafekitsune
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rootbeersturniolo · 21 days
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part 1 here
the second part of this series.
pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader
summary: two weeks had passed after the death of their bestfriend, and it still remained a mystery yet to be solved. it wouldn't take long before more secrets began to unravel, and there was only one question left to ask; would you love somebody enough to die for them?
warnings: mentions of murder and death, murder in detail, grief, blood, weapons (knives and guns), anxiety, smut, suggestive, homophobia, being laced, attempted assault
-
It's been two weeks.
Not that it feels real yet.
Two weeks of starring off into space, watching detectives scope out our dorm room. Natalie’s entire side of the room has been demolished. Pictures and memories deemed as evidence in her case.
They’ve been going at it for a while now, but there were still no updates. The corner kept quiet, they said legally they couldn’t say anything else. My parents told me they were actually just stumped on who could’ve pulled off such a crime.
She was found the morning after the party. Which meant we were the last to have ever seen her. Her blonde hair flowing through the air as she closed the door in Jackson’s face, subconsciously saying goodbye to us all even if she had no idea what would come next.
Her body was covered in her crimson blood. Her clothes, hair, and skin were stained permanent in her own defeat. They counted fourteen wounds throughout her body.
Absolutely none were self defense.
It wasn’t a surprise. She was drunk. She was drunk and weak, incapable of protecting herself as she walked back to campus.
I should’ve been there with her. I should’ve walked back with her. If I did there was still a chance she would be alive. Or there was a chance I would be dead too. Which wouldn’t necessarily be the worst thing. Not anymore.
Her smile is engrained in my head and I’ve been so scared that one day it's going to go away, I don't want to ever forget it.
When she was alive I was so focused on myself. So focused on Matt, school, and the annoying rumors that she spread.
But now she's gone and I want her back more than anything.
I want more sleepovers on her trampoline where we told each other our deepest secrets. I want to be sitting on the hot pavement, doodling onto the sidewalk with cheap chalk while we mindlessly talk about middle school drama. I want her back for everything that made her good.
How can somebody become a memory? She was laying in bed next to me, talking about her and Jackson two weeks ago, and now all I have left is the impact she left behind. How is that fair to her?
How is it fair to be known by what you put into the earth in a mere nineteen years?
The funeral was terrible. Her family became my family, and seeing them so broken only filled me with more guilt.
"You're just getting ridiculous."
I was so mad at her, so fuelled with anger that I couldn't think about anything else, and now I’d witnessed her parents, sobbing onto the coffin while her older brother stays strong for them.
“Do you have anything better to do?”
My last words to her.
On repeat every time I visit her.
She did so much good, and I was too focused on the bad to see that.
Although grief shows up differently for everyone, we’ve all been taking it hard. Nick took the most time to process, he was unable to fathom a world without her in it, and I held him as he cried in my arms after the funeral.
That’s the only thing that made her death feel real. Not the news reports, or the empty dorm I came home to. Instead seeing her lifeless body, covered in makeup she wouldn't have applied herself. Somehow still looking beautiful as ever.
Jackson became overly distant. It seemed unlike him to say so little about someone he loved so much. None of us wanted to push him though. His relationship with Natalie wasn’t one I wanted for myself, but they relied on each other to get by, and now he feels utterly alone.
The whole city feels different. Remnants of her everywhere I look. I just can’t escape as much as I try. As much as I try and pretend everything’s still ok. The truth is nothing will ever be truly ok again.
At least not for me.
-
“I'll just get an order of fries and a vanilla milkshake please.” | smiled at the waitress, the maroon apron resting on her waist while she takes my order. She nods as she turns her head away from me.
“And for you?” She asked, referring to Matt who sat across from me, a knit sweater resting on his body. The body that I knew like the back of my hand.
Matt and I haven’t been out since Natalie died. Date nights had always been a common thing for us, but it’s taken me awhile to bring myself to leave the house.
Natalie was murdered. Stabbed and killed by another human being. Another soul, yet no remorse filled their bones.
I couldn’t bear the overwhelming amount of evidence that she was in fact dead. I moved into Matt’s dorm for the time being. His roommate left for break, which meant I could easily sneak in for days on end. His arms wrapped around mine while fresh tears coated the dry.
Instead of rotting in the once shared dorm, I laid inside of Matt’s room. My mind never letting me forget what happened to Natalie. My dreams, my thoughts, everytime I closed my eyes.
For once though, I’m more focused on the cute smile on Matt’s face while he orders than I am about the tragic events that took place. The way his fingers toy with one another as he speaks, picking at his skin to get him through having to order himself.
We decided on a vintage diner that's been open in our town since forever. The same place he took me on our first date. I smile slightly as I reminisce the innocence of it all, how awkward he had been asking me out, how he went above and beyond with fresh flowers and a kiss goodnight.
“What’s got you all smiley?” He asked as the waitress left to give our order to the chef. His hands overtook my own on the surface of the table, his silver rings brushing against my gold.
“I just love you at lot.” I replied, feeling my cheeks tensing up slightly at the grin that exhausts the muscles in my face. The skin heating up as a light pink scattered across it.
“That's really the only reason?” He asks as he furrows his eyebrows. His gaze glued onto mine, like he could almost look through me. I sighed, relaxing my shoulders completely.
“Remember our first date? I was just thinking about the car ride to this diner, and how scared you were to hold my hand as you drove.” I giggled lightly. He cringed in embarrassment, placing his hands over his face to cover his now red cheeks. I took his hands back, bringing them to my own and forcing his gaze towards me. "It was cute."
“I can’t even think of myself two years ago. I was so—” He began to speak again before the sound of my voice cut him off. “So what? So thoughtful, so caring, so attractive…” I listed off, causing him to roll his eyes.
“I fell in love with you two years ago. The same way I’m in love with you now.”
“Wow, you are so corny.” He jokes, shaking his head with a soft chuckle.
“Ok, ok. I’ll stop. I’m just really happy to have you here for me. I couldn’t go through this alone.” I smiled at him. He cleared his throat with a soft nod, his eyes focusing on the waitress bringing us our food.
We leaned out, our hands now lifting from one another's as she places my milkshake and fries in front of me, Matt getting the exact same thing. "Thank you.” I smile at the girl, her footsteps now echoing as she left behind a small smile.
Matt brings a fry to his mouth.
"Is there a reason you get the same thing as me everytime?" I laughed softly, taking a sip of my vanilla milkshake. The cold liquid refreshing my body from the so called tragedy of the hot sun beaming outside.
"Will you make fun of me?" He asked, causing me to shake my head, my mouth still surrounding the colored straw. “I got the same thing as you on our first date, because I didn’t know what to do and I figured you’d have good taste.” He spoke again.
I laughed with a slow nod as I replied. “Did you at least like it?”
“Course’ I do. I was right when I said you have good taste.” He smiled.
The date continued on how they normally do. I finished my food way quicker than Matt, leaving me with more time to talk while he caught up on eating his food.
He had always been my favorite listener. Never judging and always playing sole attention to whatever nonsense left my mouth. He never made me feel alone. He never made me feel small.
When I was with Matt I felt just right.
-
After our date ended we arrived back at his dorm, my body heading straight for his bed, the place I’ve been rotting in for two weeks. My parents are too busy trying to find the person who killed Natalie to be home, comforting their own daughter.
It wasn’t anything new, and I wasn’t surprised in the slightest. That’s how it had always been in the Parker household.
Work came first, family came last.
When I was younger it bothered me more. All I wanted was for my parents to be there for me more. All I wanted was the slightest amount of attention from them.
In the third grade I got caught up on trying to break my arm, seeing as how Natalie did too. Her parents showered her with gifts, love, and attention. Something I had wanted more than anything, and had only received it from Matt.
“Can we please just watch Perks of Being a Wallflower? I haven't watched it in so long." I asked, cuddled up against Matt with my arm hanging over his stomach.
“Isn’t that the really sad one?” He raised his eyebrow, his chin resting on the top of my head as his hand rubbed small lines on my back. One of his shirts placed over my body. It smelt like his cologne and whiskey. My favorite scent in the entire universe.
The room is dark, the TV illuminating the space just enough for me to focus on his hand on the remote, the way his rings fit perfectly around the curves of his fingers.
“It’s not that sad—just the ending, but sad endings are ok if the rest of the story is good.” I finally replied, my eyes meeting his.
“Fine.” He sighed in defeat, his fingers on the remote control spelling out the letters of my favorite movie. The movie I haven’t watched in so long, because I’ve been caught up with everything else.
I hoped it would bring me back a sense of comfort. The comfort that I badly needed after my life turned into such a mess.
But that was selfish of me to say.
Because after all, I still had a life.
The movie started playing, the volume filling the room as Matt’s soft breaths blew against my hair my wind. For whatever reason, my brain couldn’t focus on the film in front of me.
All I could think about was Natalie.
Her last words, the fear she must have felt, how much she wanted to live and wasn’t given the opportunity.
There was a possibility she was too drunk to even comprehend was happening, but there was also a possibility that she understood everything. Maybe she wanted to fight back.
My breathing started to quicken uncontrollably, thoughts of her death overtaking my human need to receive oxygen.
Matt noticed almost instantly, like he always did. He placed his hand on my heart and paused the movie, his arms tighter against my body as he paused his movements against my back.
“Shh, it’s ok. You’re ok. You’re safe with me here.” He whispered, my eyes trying to stay focused on him as he scanned my face, concern and confusion covering his expression.
It wasn’t fair.
What happened to Natalie wasn’t fair, and if I wasn’t too concerned in saving my own ass and protecting myself against the rumors, I could’ve saved her instead.
But I didn’t.
Instead I watched as she walked through the party door. I didn’t say anything as she looked at me for help with what to say to Jackson. I didn’t offer to walk her back to our room.
I just let her leave.
I didn’t know she wouldn’t come back. I didn’t know any of this would happen. If I did I sure as hell wouldn’t have even let her leave that night. Maybe then I could’ve protected her. Just like friends are supposed to.
But Natalie and I were never just friends. We were sisters, and we fought like we were.
“No, I wanted the pink skirt.” Natalie spoke, frustration plastered on her face as she ripped the mauve laced fabric from my small hands. I sighed in annoyance, reaching out for the skirt once more.
“You didn’t say that.” I replied, holding it against my chest as she glared at me. If her eyes were really lasers, I’d be long gone by the way her gaze was glued against me. Her hands empty as I held what she wanted in mine.
We only had two skirts. One pink and one blue, obviously neither of us wanting to wear the dark blue one compared to the glitter filled pink.
It was too late for her parents to go back to the store, the time approaching nearly nine at night. Instead, we had to use what we had; one pink and one blue skirt.
“Just give it back.” She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. I shook my head, holding the skirt closer to my body. She rolled her eyes at my words.
Natalie’s mom pushed through the double doors, spotting us bickering in the living room. Our stance clearly telling her that something was wrong, if not our words.
“She can have the skirt Nat, she’s our guest.” Her mom sighed, picking up the blue skirt and handing it to Natalie who shook her head in response. Now I was the one rolling my eyes, watching as Natalie walked from the room, leaving both skirts behind and finding her way to her bedroom.
“You two fight like sisters.” Her mom mumbled, smiling gently as she followed Natalie through the double doors.
Soon enough my breathing slowed, the memory easing my mind. His hand cupped my jaw as his thumb left soft strokes on my cheek, almost as if he was wiping away everything bad.
“I know it’s hard baby, but she’s better now. It’s your turn to get better now too, yeah?” He spoke, his eyes finding mine again. “No more rumors, no more lies.” He hummed.
“I just wish it wasn’t this hard.” I sighed, not a single tear running down my cheek. It wasn’t because I hadn’t been sad. It’s because I’ve ran out of tears entirely.
Endless nights spent without a dry face. My eyes burning from how much I rubbed them as the tip of my nose turned red. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing, because everywhere reminded me of her.
“I’m sorry.” He breathed out, carefully bringing my head back to his chest. “I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I wish I could take all your pain away. I promise I would.” He hummed, placing his hand over my head as he ran it against my hair, his other laced around my waist.
We sat in silence for a few moments, the distant sound of the air conditioning filling the room along with kisses placed on my head.
My mind slowed down again, only one remaining thought in my head while Matt moved his hands from my back to my side, only to reassure me, but I couldn’t help but to have already decided on what I had wanted.
“Matt.” I spoke up again, lifting my head from his chest one more. His eyes were already on mine as he hummed in response, furrowing his eyebrows gently as he awaited my words.
“Can you just—” I breathed out, pausing as my lip got caught between my teeth. He nodded slowly, gesturing for me to continue. “Can you distract me please?” I whispered.
He gave me a soft smile before picking up the remote once more. I let out a soft breath as I shook my head, placing his hand down. He was so clearly confused now.
I hesitated before pushing my body from his, my legs wrapping around his waist as I straddled him. I pushed my hair behind my shoulders, my pleading eyes finding his again.
“Oh.” He whispered, his cheeks flushing pink as he placed his hands on my waist, his touch was gentle. Too gentle, like he thought I would break.
“Please, just distract me.” I mumbled, leaning down as I placed my lips against his. We both breathed into the kiss, his hands placing a gentle pressure on my sides, a touch so delicate it causes goosebumps to form on my arms at the familiar contact.
This kiss isn’t like most we’ve shared in our two years of being together. Instead of slow and sensual, it’s desperate, hungry.
Maybe it was the fact we hadn’t had sex since the night of the party. Maybe it was all of our emotions unfolding together.
Either way, I couldn’t stop kissing him.
Our lips moved together in a unison that was comfortable while our tongues had a chance to explore each others mouth, like many other times.
Matt always knew what I was in need of. Most of the time he knew before I knew it myself, and right now, I knew I needed him.
My own hands traveled to his hair while he shifted to position himself above me, the familiar horse necklace dangling and grazing my neck.
Right then, it was as if I needed to be as close to Matt as possible, like I was craving his touch desperately, and it’s all I can think about. He pulled away, the small amount of light in the room outlining his jaw while he spoke.
“Are you sure you want this?”
I thought for a second, my body wanted it so badly, and as much as my brain had been occupied recently, I didn’t think a distraction would hurt.
I nodded, maybe a little too eagerly based on the loose laugh that he breaths out. “You’ve been so stressed.” He leaned into my neck, placing soft, plush kisses to my neck. “Just relax, yeah?”
I just nodded again, attempting to stay still as his gentle kisses leave me restless below him. His hands on my side trail up, grazing over my chest. He removed his lips from my neck, bringing them back against mine.
The feeling of his nose brushing up against my own could’ve put me into a trance, along with the way he bit my bottom lip gently as he pulled out of the kiss, his hands now pulling up my shirt— well, his shirt.
I held up my arms, allowing the fabric to move over my head, leaving me exposed underneath him. He looked at me for a moment, his eyes trailing up and down as I shifted uncomfortably, waiting for him to do something.
“Matt, please. I need you.” I whined. I was more desperate than ever for any form of relief. Matt leaned back in, kissing directly below my ear before whispering.
“Shh— I’ve got you. You’re good.”
Something about Matt is how much he cherished me at all times. Whether it was something as simple as walking on the side of the sidewalk that’s closest to the road, or something more intimate like right now.
He treated me like I was the best thing to ever grace the earth, and it felt like a title I was unfit to hold sometimes.
His hands roamed my chest momentarily. His fingers placing gentle pressure on every single sensitive section of my body. The only thing I can focus on is the way the pads of his fingers trace over my nipples, and the way he’s practically unable to remove his lips from one.
His hand slid down the center line of my stomach, placing a pressure on my clothed core before leaning out of the kiss.
“You deserve the world, you know that?”
I rolled my eyes playfully in response, pushing down a smile as I looked to him with urgency in my gaze. If anyone was going to be a complete cornball right before sex, it’s Matt.
He shifted down the bed, aligning his face with my lower half and immediately plants a kiss right above where I need him. I began to slide my blue shorts off, clearly eager to get started, but Matt just grabbed my hands and looked at me.
“So impatient, Char. I just want to take my time with you.” He cooed, placing my hands back onto my own stomach as his nose made contact with my clit through two layers of clothing.
My stomach filled with even more butterflies due to his words mixed with his actions. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes momentary as I tried to maintain the aching sensation.
I tried my best to stay still under his affectionate touch, but it was nearly impossible when he began to finally slide off the layers of fabric that are keeping me from him.
I pushed my hips up to help him, still incredibly desperate for any relief he can provide me. He knew exactly how to get me worked up, and I was definitely there.
He removed my shorts along with my underwear off of my ankles before re aligning his face with my aching core. His hands made contact with my legs, lifting them up over his shoulders before his tongue finally got put to use.
It began gentle, just the tip of his tongue starting to explore everywhere expect where I wanted. My hips pushed down against the mattress.
“Matt if you don’t do it for me, I’m going to do it myself.” I groaned through a sigh, getting less patient by the minute. Usually I could take his teasing, but again, I’m not usually this needy.
He just smiled before placing an open mouthed kiss directly into my clit, causing me to arch into the touch. The feeling sending shivers through my entire body.
His movements were soft, but the pressure of his tongue was enough to have me moaning out spewed sentences as he lapped around my clit. My hands immediately make their way to his slightly curled brunette hair, playing with his strands as his hands traveled back up to play with my chest.
The combination of his fast moving tongue over my sensitive clit, and his large hands toying with my hardened nipples had me throwing my head back into the pillow I laid against.
It’s safe to say I was distracted.
Matt picked up the pace now, eager to get me to crumble underneath his touch the way I always did. His hands left my chest, instead being brought down toward my entrance, and asking for my permission without words.
“Please.” I whined, crossing my ankles over his upper back as he detached his mouth from me momentarily. I quickly nodded.
He placed a kiss to my lower stomach as two of his fingers lid into me, curling up slowly as my hips bucked up into his hands subconsciously. His long fingers were definitely a blessing, because they reached my sweet spot without him even having to try.
“Am I making you feel good, pretty girl?” He asked, his voice low but just loud enough for me to hear. Pain mixed with pleasure as he continued to move his hand inside of me.
I nodded instantly, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as his fingers sped up at a pace that had my mouth watering.
“Tell me what you’re feeling, come on baby.” He said before placing his lips back around my clit, sucking softly as I was expected to speak.
I breathed out, trying my best to muster up my words, because I know Matt well enough to know he’ll stop if I don’t speak. “You—mmph, fuck!” I moaned out, his tongue working at a faster pace that has me squirming around him. His spare hand against my hip to hold me in place.
“You’re so good at making me feel good— you’re the only one who can get me like this.” I replied, bringing my bottom lip in between my teeth to suppress the moans trying to escape.
The initial shock of pure pleasure subsided and my body relaxed into his touch, the only thing I can think about is him and how good he makes me feel. “Just like that.” I moaned, pulling on his hair slightly as his fingers continued curling up into me. “Please Matt.”
He continued without a break, relentlessly flicking his tongue on my clit all while his fingers worked tirelessly to graze my g-spot over and over again.
It didn’t take long before my legs began to close over his head as the pressure building in the pit of my stomach becomes too overwhelming to ignore. “Matt I’m—”
My body acts before I can bear to get the words out, my stomach tensing at the newfound pleasure as his tongue remains ever moving on me until it became too much. “Ok.” I breathed out.
He knew that I was done, and although I could usually go for longer, I’m mentally and physically exhausted, and it’s taken a toll on me in every aspect of my life— apparently including sex.
“I love you so much baby.” Matt reiterated as he shifted up to place a kiss on my neck before helping me slide my shirts back on.
Something about the intimacy in that moment meant more to me than any of the events that took place minutes prior. It’s raw, loving, and it only confirms the love I have for that boy.
“I love you more.” I replied, smiling as he laid beside me on his bed.
I lean into him, his arm reaching over my head, allowing my face to find comfort in the crook of his neck while my leg wrapped around his hips.
His hand made its way to my bare back, stroking small patterns while he scoffed slightly. “I think you forget it’s impossible to love you as much as I do.” He replied quietly.
The words of affirmation never failed to have me flustered, and I truly don’t believe I’ll ever get sick of them. “I am pretty amazing, yeah?” I replied as I pulled myself closer to his body, my bare chest against his clothed.
He just placed a kiss to the top of my head at my words. “Don’t get too cocky now, pretty girl.”
-
We laid in bed for what felt like hours, but was really a mere ten minutes wrapped against his body. His arms around my waist, rubbing gentle circles against my bare sides.
It was so peaceful. I could’ve fallen asleep, and I almost did until the sound of his phone made me shift again him.
“Who’s calling you?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows as the ring of Matt’s phone echoed throughout the room. He shrugged, shaking his head as he denied the call, wrapping his arms around me once more.
We laid in silence, his fingers tracing shapes on my bare back while our legs stayed intertwined with each others.
After a few moments the familiar ring filled the room again. I pushed my head from his chest, sighing gently as he took his phone in his hands, answering a panicked Chris on the other line. He turned the one on speaker, raising it so we could both hear the other line.
“Matt—” Chris breathed out, a sigh of relief leaving his lips. “Matt, Jackson got arrested. They think he killed Natalie.” He spoke quickly. My heart dropped at his words, my eyes widening as they met Matt’s.
Jackson?
Killing Natalie?
“What?” I asked, cutting Matt off as he was about to speak. “Jackson killed Natalie?” I spoke again, my tone weary and filled with dread. There wasn’t a chance, he wouldn’t do something like that. Especailly not to Natalie.
Right?
“Charlotte, I didn’t know you were—” Chris paused with a sigh, not knowing I had been listening to the conversation. “Yeah, they think so.” He breathed out.
I swallowed the undeniable nerves, nodding to myself as my mind raced. Just like it had been for two weeks.
“Well do they have proof?” I replied, now I was completely sat up next to Matt, his blanket covering my body as our vision remained on each other. Chris sighed on the other line.
“Yeah, some old text messages apparently.”
My heart dropped again. This time resting in my stomach as I brought my lip in between my teeth. Jackson couldn’t have possibly done something so horrible. He doesn’t even seem capable of doing anything like murder.
Then it hit me.
Jackson left the party after Natalie did. After they got into their fight, after she slammed the door in front of his face, telling him they were over for the fifth time this month.
But would he take something so unserious as a need to commit murder? To kill her? He was most definitely drunk, even then it didn’t make sense. I’ve known Jackson almost my entire life.
And I knew that he loved Natalie.
At least that’s what I thought.
-
The drive to the police station was uncomfortable to say the least. My leg constantly bouncing up and down while my fingers found comfort between my teeth.
Matt had tried to play music to ease the silence but I shut it down insanely fast. I needed to focus on everything going on.
None of this made sense, Jackson’s not a bad person. An asshole maybe, but not a murderer. What he had with Natalie would’ve never ended with such an extreme, a petty argument at most.
There’s many moments in life where for whatever reason it doesn’t feel real. A lot of the time it happens to people on a fascinating vacation or on something loving like their wedding day.
Mine was today.
“Mom.” I breathed out as soon as I stepped into the building, the familiar woman standing beside the registry desk, paperwork in her hands.
If there was even a chance to find out if Jackson was innocent, I wasn’t going to miss it.
She just rushed me into a smaller office without a word. “Mom what’s going on?” I asked. I had a pretty long list of questions rushing through my head but I tried to focus on the present.
My mom is usually good at hiding her emotions, not letting them appear easily on her face. Tonight I could read her like a book, and I knew instantly I wouldn’t like the ending.
“Where were you after the party?” My mom spoke, referring to Matt as he stop beside me. Matt didn’t hesitate before responding. “With your daughter.” He answered, his unfamiliar glare meeting hers.
I furrowed my eyebrows almost instantly at his lie. He wasn’t with me, I was alone that night. I was completely alone considering the fact Natalie hadn’t made it home.
“Charlotte, Is this true? Is Matt telling the truth?” She asked, staring at me with a sense of urgency shooting through her pupils.
I attempt to answer her as quickly as I can in the moment. Although, it’s not easy to ignore the guilt that’s already building up in my stomach.
“Yes mom, he’s telling the truth. He walked me to my dorm and we ended up falling asleep while we were watching a movie together.”
Lying didn’t feel good in the slightest. I constantly remind myself that I’m doing nothing wrong since Matt did nothing wrong. He probably just wanted to avoid looking suspicious because he went to his dorm alone last night.
It’s completely understandable, and besides, I’d do anything for him.
My mom must’ve believed my words because she just nodded slowly, placing her hands against the curves of her hips. “I don’t know Char. It’s not looking good for Jackson.”
I scoffed immediately. She’s working on my bestfriends case, and acting like she knows everything about them.
In reality she was at work so much she barely even met them.
“Jackson’s not a murderer. You guys are wrong about him. He didn’t kill her.” I spoke again as I shook my head with a pleading expression. She barely even registered my words before the door opened again, another officer stepping inside.
My mom’s eyes met mine before I sighed. Just like always, duty calls. It didn’t matter that my bestfriend just died, what mattered was that she was satisfied with her work.
How could I ever forget?
“He’s innocent.” I scoffed again before turning on my heel, brushing past Matt as we left down the familiar hallway. Once we reached a quiet area he stopped me, placing his hands on my shoulders and making me look his way.
“He didn’t do it, Matt. I know he didn’t— He loved Natalie.” I spoke up, searching his eyes for some trace of hope that he believed me. I could’ve been wrong, and I knew that. There was a chance that Jackson really did kill her, but I didn’t see the proof, and I didn’t see him do it.
There’s no chance the killer had been in front of me the entire time.
He only sighed before letting his gaze trace away from mine. He shrugged lightly. “They say there’s a good chance he did.” He spoke quietly. I rolled my eyes at his words. Nobody had his back but me. Absolutely nobody.
“Just try to stay calm, ok? Your parents know what they’re doing. They’re not going to let an innocent teenager go to jail.”
I hesitantly nodded at his words as he placed a soft kiss against my forehead. He was right, he would be in custody until he was truly proven guilty. Not just suspected.
“Besides, there’s no more rumors, no more lies.” He repeated his words from earlier, giving me a reassuring smile as he placed his arm on my arm. The two of us walking back through the doors, the sun hitting our skin instantly.
This time I thought on what he said.
-
matts pov
The sun set and rose again. The entire night spent with Charlotte’s nearly two hundred new possibilities on who could’ve killed Natalie, if it wasn’t Jackson who did it.
I have to say, I had to give her credit for thinking so much about something she had no control over. But I knew she just wanted justice for her best friend, everyone did.
The past two weeks had been spent with her being a complete mess. Mentally. She’s went through the five stages of grief nearly ten times around, and the denial continues to linger once someone now mentions Jackson’s name.
Endless nights spent with her in my arms, words of reassurance and comfort leaving my lips. I hated seeing her so upset.
Not nearly as upset as she was when Natalie started those rumors about her.
“Alright, you needed help on what section of our studies?” Professor Collin’s asked, shooting me a bright smile as he logged into the computer. The forced yet returned smile covered my face.
My eyes traced to the clock behind him. I had to be quick, class would start in an hour, and we had so much to do before then.
“Just section four.” I replied, sliding him my notes. He nodded, looking through what I wrote.
It’s clear he’s not impressed with the work I’ve placed in front of him by the way his mouth forms a tight lipped smile as he reads through. “It’s a good thing you came for help, I’m worried about you getting behind your classmates.” He advises, continuing to judge everything I’ve laid out for him.
Maybe if he wasn’t flirting with my girlfriend the entire two hour lecture, I would be able to get more work done. Instead I was too worried on making sure he didn’t pull her into the broom closet between her studies.
Natalie was lying about the fact that the two of them were having sex. They never hooked up, and I know that for a fact.
She would never do that to me. Especially not with him.
On the other hand, it was painfully obvious how badly he wanted to. Between his eyes locked on hers, dilated pupils, and folders covering his crouch while he stood in front of the class.
It never felt right knowing he imagined her in all of the positions that I have full access to every night. Hell, I’m sure he gets off reminiscing on their innocent conversations in class.
I wasn’t an idiot, and I hated him for how he thought of her. She was mine, and she certainly wasn’t a piece of eye candy. Especailly not for her own professor.
Someone had to teach him a lesson.
“Do you like fucking your students?” I spoke up again, my gaze dropping from my paper to the man sitting in the desk below me.
His eyes quickly widened as he furrowed his eyebrows, looking at me with disbelief. Like he had no idea what I was saying.
“Excuse me?” He breathed out, shaking his head with a nervous laugh. I rolled my eyes so hard they ached. “Did you not hear me?” I asked as I took a step closer to him.
“I said do you like fucking your students.” I had repeated my previous question, this time louder. Thankfully for him the door was shut, leaving us alone in the dingy classroom.
His expression was panicked, but it was also clear how hardly he tried to remain a straight face. He was a pervert. Just a disgusting piece of shit, and everyone was going to know it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He finally replied as he turned away from me.
I scoffed as I took a step closer to him, reaching into my bag. I was going to finally end this. Right here, right now. Nobody else would say another nasty comment about my girl.
“You must think about it at the very least. Are you only imagining Charlotte when you’re sitting in your desk? Or do you think about her laying in bed next to your wife too?” I tease, drawing out my actions as the fear lingers within him.
“Matt?” Professor Collin’s speaks quietly, his eyes widened as I held the metal knife in my hand. He looked at me with guilt, fear, and confusion. The sight I loved more than anything.
The words I loved to hear before disaster. My own name being called out, like they were genuinely confused. Like they didn’t know they deserved this, that it was coming for them.
That I was coming for them.
“Matt?” Natalie slurred, raising her eyebrow as she looked at me. She was complete wasted, I had been watching her stumble on the way back to her dorm, but she hadn’t even been going the right way.
I stepped closer to him as he pushed his chair back, ultimately hitting the wall behind him. He had no where to go, he was completely trapped. And I had the weapon. We were playing a game of mouse. He was the mouse, I was the cat. He was my prey as of this moment, just like he had been preying on my girlfriend for months.
In a swift action I pulled him by his collar, his head hitting his wooden desk as his hands dropped to his side. Small winces escaping his lips as the knife went through his back.
I watched it with eager.
Again.
And again.
The knife going through his back.
Again.
And again.
The light of moon reflected on the silver knife going through her skin, her warm blood seeping out against my hand, against the pavement below us before she fell over.
There was a sudden moment of strength within her. Maybe adrenaline, maybe just pure will to live. Either way she spoke. “I just” She coughed, blood dripping down her chin as tears welled in her eyes. “I wanted someone to pay attention to me.” She sniffles pathetically as she weeps. “Why does no one notice me?”
Her body fell flat against the floor, her head scraped against his ground. I pulled the knife back, her blood pooling on the pavement around us as I wiped it between my gloves.
“No more rumors, no more lies.” I spoke under my breath, taking a final glance at the girl below me. Taking a final glance at the nonsense she’s caused over the past months.
It didn’t take long before his body became still underneath my touch. He was restless, no trace of life left. Just how I liked it. I pulled the knife back, wiping the blood off between my hands.
I took ahold of his hair, pulling his lifeless face up before running two slits on his bottom lip, dots of blood pooling around them.
“She’s mine.” I hissed through my teeth, picking up a lose piece of chalk from the end of his desk before leaving one final message on the board.
Yesterdays problem.
-
My heart raced as I pushed myself through the dimly lit hallways. One foot in front of the other the entire way. I could feel the warm blood seeping into my skin.
The blood I drew.
There was a dead man in that classroom. I was the one that killed him. Guilt mixed with power as I approached the nearest place with a sink, the boys locker room.
As soon as I walked into the room, I rushed to the nearest sink and turned on the water. I watched as all of the evidence went down the drain, but if anyone were to walk into that classroom they would see the truth.
“Matt?” A voice spoke from behind me. Panic flooded my body as I quickly turned around, my eyes meeting Bryce’s. He held his water jug in his hand, his jersey loosely hanging off of his body.
Fuck.
My eyes met his as I moved myself closer to the sink, trying to cover the mess in front of me. The water spraying the mixed blood around the white counter, an undeniable sight.
At my reaction he pushed himself closer, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at the sink, the water still running as my hands remained soaked.
“Is that blood?” He finally asked.
My first response was to shake my head, tell him he was wrong. Maybe even gaslight him, make him belief he was the one going crazy.
But it was going to be hard to convince someone that something else was going on. Especially someone like Bryce.
On different circumstances, I would’ve been able to take care of this myself. Make sure everything was clean, and hidden before I ran into anyone. He didn’t give me much of a chance.
It’s unfair if you think about it. I’m only doing what other people are too scared to, and now i’m facing unjust consequences.
“I— I fell.” I spoke out, my eyes locked on his while his was glued to the blood running down my hands. That was until he noticed the knife sticking out of my pocket.
“Don’t fucking tell anyone.” I ordered, trying to remain persuasive or powerful to him, but I knew how much panic was laced through my voice.
He was frozen in fear, like he was the one who was supposed to be scared when I could be getting sent to prison for the rest of my life.
Maybe if he didn’t walk in on me it wouldn’t have been his fault. Unfortunately for him, his curiosity simply got the better of him.
“Bryce.” I spoke again, harshly as I placed my stained hands against his shoulders. His eyes widening as he finally looked up at me. “You gonna fucking tell?” I asked.
He didn’t respond. My heart rate only picked up. He was going to tell. Anyone would. I didn’t blame them, but I couldn’t let that happen. Nineteen years old, spending the rest of my life behind bars for simply giving others justice.
I really couldn’t let that happen.
Before another thought ran through my mind, his head was pressed against the mirror. The glass shattering around us, while the rest became stained with his blood.
His water jug dropped from his limp hand, the liquid leaking around the floor before he dropped down as well, landing against his back with a thump.
I took a deep breath, blood now coating the mirror, sink, and floor.
“It was too risky.” I mumbled to him, well, really only myself as I pulled the knife from my pocket again, three slits placed on his bottom lip, only drawing more blood from his face.
Kill count, three.
-
I'm not a bad person.
At least I don't think I am.
My intentions aren't flawed. I have someone who understands me and sometimes the world treats her unfairly, is it wrong to want to help?
I never meant for it to get this far, but since Natalie it's like an urge. Like if someone looks at Charlotte the wrong way I have an animalistic urge to end it, to end them.
It’s not like I wanted to hurt Natalie, at least not at first, but she was the one who hurt Charlotte. She had been hurting her for months, and I wasn’t going to let it happen any longer.
I’d known Natalie since middle school. I knew almost everything about her. It’s not like I had been fantasizing about killing her for years.
It just happened.
Though, the professor had it coming. Nobody can deny that he deserved what I did to him. Making those nasty, perverted remarks at Charlotte.
What kind of man would I be to allow that?
Bryce was a mistake. He didn’t do anything wrong. I was actually quite fond of him. I had been since he started dating Nick a few months ago. He was one of the better people on this sick earth.
Wrong person, wrong place.
I don't think it's psychotic what I'm doing. When you hear about killers you assume one of two things.
Either they have a bad home life, like Richard Ramirez who was abused as a child. Except I wasn't abused, sure I had my own mundane problems, but nothing in comparison and nothing that caused shit to hit the fan.
Or they are just clinically insane. Like Albert Fish.
I'm not insane, I don't hear voices or see things. I just want to protect the one person who gives me the time of day.
Maybe by protecting her I'm also protecting myself, but I don't think it's selfish. Charlotte is amazing in ways I struggle to understand. She's thoughtful and charismatic, she listens but she also always knows how to make me laugh.
Charlotte’s a good person.
And I'd like to think that by protecting her l'm a good person too.
-
“Matt, what is that?” Charlottes voice spoke up from beside me. My body against hers as my papers were sprawled out in front of me. My eyebrows furrowed at her question.
“What do you mean?”
Fear covered her face as her eyes traced down. They stopped just above my arm, focusing directly on my wrist.
I quickly looked down, my eyes widening as well as I noticed my silver bracelet stained with red liquid. I sucked in a sharp breath, pursing my lips before pulling my sleeve down.
She wasn’t supposed to see that.
Her face remained in a panic liked state as her eyes met mine. Her expression sinking into confusion as she took hold of my wrist, pulling against my sleeve.
“Is that blood— are you bleeding?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed as she scanned the stained the material. I wanted to nod, maybe even put on a bandaid and keep her from asking anymore questions, but she wasn’t stupid.
Charlotte was many things, but she wasn’t stupid. She could point out a lie from a mile away, a small difference in someone’s tone. It was impressive that she hadn’t caught me yet.
I took my arm back, pulling my sleeve down one more. “It’s nothing.” I spoke cautiously. I didn’t want to necessarily lie, but I couldn’t exactly spit out the truth. Not yet at least.
My intentions were good, at least for her, but that doesn’t mean she’d forgive me for what I did.
“Matt that was blood.” She replied, barely audible but I heard her as tears started to brim her eyes. Her perfect fucking eyes. I hated when she cried. Seeing her upset made me upset. If she wasn’t happy than neither was I.
“It wasn’t.” I mumbled in response. She scoffed, shaking her head as she pushed herself off of my bed. I sighed, following her as I reached my arm out for hers. She quickly pulled back, wrapping her arms around her body.
I sighed as I took a step closer to her, letting my hands drop to my sides. Giving her a respectful amount of space.
She looked lost in thought, her eyes remaining on my covered wrist. The blood was dried, it was from hours ago.
There were police swarming our campus. Both bodies found in the span of five minutes. Collins first, Bryce second. Everyone was sent back to their rooms, doors locked as they suspected an active killer.
Although, nothing was released to the public yet. Nobody knew who was killed, except the first kids that walked in for their morning class.
“Can I see?” She spoke again, a soft breath from her lips as she looked up at me. I hesitated before pulling my sleeve again, the silver bracelet in her vision as the lines of dried blood coated the material.
“Please tell me that’s your blood.”
“Matt.”
“Charlotte.” I finally replied through a sigh. I didn’t want to lie to her. I just didn’t want her to know the extended truth. It wasn’t my blood, honestly I wasn’t sure whose it was. “It’s not mine.” I spoke again. She furrowed her eyebrows.
“Then whose is it?” She asked, letting go of my arm as she looked up at me. I hesitated. This could ruin everything. “Matt— if it’s not your blood, then why is someone else’s on you during a fucking campus lockdown, it makes you seem like you—” She cut herself off as her eyes widened.
“No.” She spoke again, her eyes finding mine again, practically begging for an answer. “You didn’t— you wouldn’t.” She laughed in denial, shaking her head. Once she noticed the lack of my reaction, her expression dropped again.
Silence.
“Charlotte.” I spoke after a few seconds, taking another step toward her. “Listen to me, alright? Just for a minute.” She shook her head again, her body language was so unfamiliar.
Distant, confused, and hurt but all directed at me.
“No, you’re supposed to listen to me. Just answer the goddamn question, why the fuck is your bracelet covered in someone’s blood?”
I pursed my lips as my heartbeat picked up in my chest. If I waited long enough maybe she’d forget. Or maybe she’d just figure out what really happen. That I killed her best friend. I killed her professor, and I killed my brothers boyfriend. But
But everything I did was for her.
She needed to understand that.
“Answer me, Matt!”
“Charlotte.” I snapped, placing my hands on her shoulders, a soft gasp leaving her lips. “Listen to me first.” I breathed out. “I did what I had to do. For us, for you—”
Her expression dropped once more, her face practically white at a those as she pushed my hands off of her. “You killed them?” She mumbled, taking a step back.
“Is that what you’re saying?” She asked. “Thats not your blood, because— whatever happened on campus today, it was you, wasn’t it?” She was speaking so fast, I wouldn’t doubt that she would pass out if she kept going.
I didn’t respond.
“Did you hurt someone- did you— did you- you killed someone, Matt?” She breathed out, her arms pressed tightly against her self. “We’ve been dealing with Natalie’s death, and you go and ruin someone else’s life?”
I looked at my feet, silence overtaking us for a few moments. My heart was racing, my breath short, she knew, and she wasn’t happy. Although, my silence wasn’t the answer, because it gave her more than she needed.
“You killed her.” She finally spoke.
My eyes met hers, as I pursed my lips again. I couldn’t respond, I couldn’t. She looked so hurt, so betrayed, when all I wanted to do was help her.
“You don’t care— you never cared about Natalie! All those stupid words you told me, that you missed her— you’re a liar!” She practically screamed at me, her eyes watering.
“I did it for you!” I replied, matching her tone as I took her wrists in my hand. She quickly shook her head, a look of disbelief on her face as she stepped back, bumping into the doorway.
My heart broke at the way she looked at me. Like she was scared of me, and I couldn’t blame her, but I hated it. I wanted her to look at me how she always did.
With love.
“Charlotte, please.” I begged, looking down at her with pleading eyes. She shook her head with a soft scoff, opening the door before slamming it in the matter of seconds. I wanted to run after her, bring her back into my room and tell her all night that everything was fine. That we were fine, but she had already made that decision.
I wasn’t sure how I expected her to react, but I never expected her to even find out. It was supposed to be a secret, but then again trying to keep a secret from someone like her is nearly impossible.
She could be going to run to her parents for all I knew. Going to hide from me, and tell someone what I did. I might be going to jail after all.
And I might lose her after all.
-
charlottes pov
The last place I needed to be right now was yet another college party. But despite my sour mood, I had friends expecting me and I wasn’t going to let them down.
I spent the past hours stuck in my room, my phone in my hand as I contemplated calling the police, telling them what Matt did, but as much as I wanted to I couldn’t.
It felt like my mind was on overdrive. Maybe he didn’t it, but it was obvious. He never exactly confirmed that he touched Natalie, but the aching pit in my stomach told me.
How could I have been so blind?
So blind to see that it was him all along. Every tear he wiped, word he said, all of it was a lie. He cried at the funeral, hugged her parents, and all along he was the one who shoved the knife through—
I took a deep breath.
Matt was back at his dorm, it didn’t matter. I mean it did, but it couldn’t. I love Matt more than anything, and I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to him. Even if he deserved it.
So for the sake of not completely falling apart again, I was going to pretend today never happened, and that everything was ok.
I hadn’t been to an outing like this since Natalie’s death, and it felt very real, very fast as I walk up to the front lawn. Red solo cups sprawled unevenly throughout the yard, with people already throwing up in the trimmed bushes.
The campus was still closed off, so with the help of a few friends, someone decided to throw a party just off campus and nearly everyone was there.
I walked in reluctantly, imperially being sucked in by loud rap music. The bass practically beating through my body as I looked around the thick crowds of people.
The sudden grasp on my waist caused me to turn around at lighting speed, panic rushing straight to my heart as I make sense of the face.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” Nick laughed slightly, pulling me by the hand to a more quiet area in the living space. “I’m happy you’re here! I’ve missed you.”
I smiled. If anyones going to make my presence feel special it’s Nick. “It just feels weird being here now since… yeah.”
A frustrated breath left my lips after my words. Of course I immediately made the mood sad, it’s all I’ve been doing for the past two weeks.
“Hey, she’d be happy you’re here right now. If anyone’s going to take over her role as the obsessive party-goer it’s you.” Nick joked, taking a moment to look around at all the familiar faces.
“Have you seen Bryce anywhere?” He asked. I furrowed my eyebrows. “He hasn’t been texting me back, but his parents could’ve taken his phone away again so.”
I thought about every recent interaction I’ve had with Bryce, but I hadn’t spoken to him since he had helped me with a history assignment a few days ago. “I haven’t heard from him, I’m sure he’s fine though his parents are dicks.”
Nick just nodded slowly in response, it’s clear he was a bit worried, and I couldn’t really blame him. After Natalie’s death and Jackson going to jail for it everyone at this college is on edge.
My heart dropped at the thought.
Jackson.
He was still in jail, and he was innocent.
“Let’s get ourselves a drink yeah?” I asked as I placed my hand on his shoulder, guiding i’m to the kitchen. I just needed to forget, more than anything.
Forget about Natalie.
Forget about Jackson.
Forget about Matt.
It didn’t take long until we’re surrounded by wood cupboards, and large bottles of cheap liquor. I poured us both a cup of vodka mixed with cranberry juice before Chris called Nick to assist him with whatever drinking game he’d started.
I couldn’t really be bothered to take part, so I used this as my opportunity to explore the house.
Weirdly enough walking around all these random drunk students felt almost like an out of body experience. Like I was a spectator simply people watching as I sipped on my poorly rationed drink.
After a small amount of walking I find myself in some sort of man cave. Deer heads are mounted on the wall alongside numerous patriotic posters.
Definitely tacky.
For whatever reason the alcohol hit me like a brick, I was just unsure if it’s because of the sheer amount of vodka poured in or the combination of the antidepressants I was just started on.
Either way my head immediately begins to feel heavy and I opt to sit on the carpeted flooring, leaning my back against the wall.
I put the empty red cup down, I didn’t even realize I had finished it until it tipped over on the floor, and not a single drop of liquid poured out.
“What are you doing in here by yourself?” The vaguely familiar voice she spoke, entering the room before closing the door behind himself.
I squinted my eyes to get a better look at the figure that approaches me.
“Chris is that you?” I asked, my head still weighed down in between my bent knees. He just laughed from a distance as I was still unable to figure out who it is.
That was until he sat next to me, his face now illuminated by the ceiling lights. “Josh.” I gawked, rolling my eyes.
“Atta girl.” He smiled, handing me a cup of God knows what. “I got you a drink, figured you’d need to loosen up after the whole… situation.”
I nodded slowly, taking the cup from him and bringing the rim to my lips before wiping my mouth and replying. “Yeah it’s weird being here. Hard to be happy when I know she’d rather be here than me.” I confessed, the alcohol in my system acting like a truth serum.
Clearly making me oblivious as well.
“Not even happy that gay kids dead?” Josh spoke as he looked down at me, raising his eyebrow while mine furrowed.
I’m wasn’t entirely sure what takes over me but my breathing increased rapidly, vision altered and suddenly my hands feel numb. “What the fuck are you talking about J-Josh?”
Speaking was harder too, the words in my head are struggling to leave my mouth.
“It doesn’t matter pretty girl, he got what he deserved.” He replied, pushing himself closer to me and pushing a strand of hair from my ear. I furrowed my eyebrows. “What— no— he didn’t.” I shook my head, squinting my eyes as I looked at Josh. Everything becoming blurred.
He let out a soft sigh. “Just relax, please?” He asked. I shook my head, trying to push myself to my feet, but he pulled me back onto the ground. I landed against my knees. His hands coming in contact with my hips.
“Charlotte.” He groaned at my action, holding my hips tighter. I shook my head again once his hands came in contact with the waistband of my shorts. There was something in the drink, and he put it there.
Fuck.
My breathing picked up as his hands came closer to me again. I was going to pass out soon enough, and he was stronger than me. There won’t be anything I could do. My vision turned into a gun rack just in front of me, the door halfway open.
I pushed myself toward the door, his hands not leaving my sides as he tugged at the fabric again, clearly eager.
“Where are you going—”
He began to speak, but was ultimately cut off by the sound of a gunshot firing through the air. My eyes widened as I watched him fall back, hitting the table before falling flat against the floor.
The gun in my hand.
I covered my mouth with my hands, quickly dropping the gun to the floor before looking down at him again, blood pooling quickly around him.
In a second without thought I ripped my jacket from my body, pressing it against the ground in hopes to clean it to the best of my ability.
“Charlotte?” Matt’s voice rang. I quickly turned my head around, my eyes meeting his as I stood from my bruised knees, momentarily pausing my movements of cleaning up the mess in front of me. The same mess I created.
“Matt, there’s blood—” I breathed out, my hands shaking by my side as his body laid under my feet. His lifeless body. That I caused. His blood spread around the carpet, soaking into the material as it approached my shoes.
I took a step back, stumbling slightly at my own action. My hands came in contact with the table behind me, keeping me steady and upright.
It was hard to think about how upset with him I was. Considering the fact that now I had done the same thing; take another life.
“There is.” He nodded, looking down at the floor before looking back toward me. “It’s ok.” Matt assured, stepping closer to me before placing his hands on my shoulders.
My gaze went to his, panicked breaths leaving my lips as my hands continued to shake. I couldn’t tell if it was the fear, or the poisoned drink running through my veins.
Either way I was screwed.
“I killed him.” I spoke again, my breath shaken as I closed my eyes in my own defeat. The sound of my own heartbeat filling my ears.
Matt rubbed my arms gently before he shook his head. “No you didn’t.” He replied, scanning my face. I furrowed my eyebrows, fighting the urge to give in to the weakness overcoming my body.
“I did.” He spoke again. I shook my head, moving my hands onto his hips, keeping myself upright. I didn’t understand what he was saying, what he was trying to do. “Matt, I shot Josh, because he tried to—”
Because his eyebrows as I cut myself off, closing my eyes as I fell against his chest. His arms instantly coming around my waist.
“Hey, woah.” He breathed out, rubbing my back to try and keep me apart. “What did he try to do?” He asked. I didn’t respond, my mouth not opening.
He let out a heavy sigh, quickly moving me so I was leaning against the wall in front of him. My hands falling to my side. He placed his against my jaw, moving me so I was looking at him.
“Listen. You don’t go anywhere. Stay here, let me get something to clean this. Just stay here, please.” He spoke.
I nodded slowly, closing my eyes again as I pulled my knees to my chest, suddenly oblivious to the blood pooling around me.
“I love you.” I breathed out as I realized how fast my heart was racing. Whatever was in that drink was strong, and it was hitting me fast.
He furrowed his eyebrows before shaking his head. “I- I love you too, but you’re going to be fine. Just stay here.” He spoke, before pushing himself from the ground and leaving the room.
My eyes opened again to trace his body. I watched him walk out the room, my eyes remaining on his blue sweater, silver jewelry, and the shoes that I loved.
The sight of him eased my mind from the fear coursing through my veins. That was until he left my sight, now an empty hallway filling my vision. My eyes turned from the door to the floor in front of me, the rifle on the floor.
“Fuck.” I mumbled, pushing myself forward and grabbing the gun. I slowly pulled myself to my feet, the gun in my hand as I looked down at Josh. The boy I had killed.
I went to put the gun back into the case, but before I could my body froze. A sudden ringing in my ears as I involuntary stumbled backward. Fast breaths leaving my lips before all of the sound in the world came back.
“Take the gun.” An unfamiliar voice spoke harshly, the gun being taken out of my hands while a pain radiated through my stomach. My hands were placed over the area, before my eyes widened.
Blood.
My blood.
I swear I could feel my heart drop down to my feet, my chest heating up as I looked down again. My eyes were met with my stomach, more blood seeping through my shirt.
When my eyes drifted up again they were met with three officers, one of them holding their gun directly at me. A faint line of smoke leaving the end.
He shot me.
Before I could think again I was back into the floor, my head coming in contact with the ground sharply. My body felt like it was on fire, my vision ten times worse than it had been.
If I wasn’t dying before, I certainly was now.
My stomach was burning, and I knew there was nothing I could do. It was like I was looking through the world with a kaleidoscope. Just like when I was a kid. The colors and shapes collided into an array of one.
For some reason, once the pain in my body subsided, all I could feel was peace.
I was simply numb. Physically and mentally numb. Nothing could hurt me, no one could hurt me. I was safe, I was happy. As much as I could be for nothing my fate.
The last thing I saw was the familiar blue sweater making its appearance at the doorway, the same sweater that I refused to take off for months. The sweater that smelt like Matt’s cologne. The boy I loved more than anything.
The boy that I’d die for.
“Matt—” I breathed out, barely forming the world before finally, my mind had been cut off for one last time.
Finally, the world had went black.
ੈ✩‧₊˚
a/n: sincerely, sienna and grace
taglist: @greatooglymooglyyy @fake-sturniolos @raysmayhem-72 @luv4kozume @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosbxtch @wurlibydominicfike @bernardsbendystraws @txssvx @thecynthh @biimpanicking @stazsi @mazzystar111 @gnxosblog @imwetforyourmom @stonermattsgf @paibey @creamoncreamoncream2 @sturnioloslife @bitchydragonparadise @anlqq @y0urm4m @bernardenjoyer @freshloveforthefit @sturniolowhore @cherrypostsposts @thenickgirl @patscorner @freshsturns @annamcdonalds67 @lilyloveschris @sstvrnioloo @chrattstromboli
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lurkingshan · 3 months
Text
Last Twilight Episode 12
A month ago, I never could have predicted that I’d be sitting here trying to assemble some thoughts to explain how on earth this show went so badly off the rails. I am truly taken aback by where this story landed, and I advise anyone who wants to think of it fondly to just pretend it ended at episode 9, and even skip the finale if you haven’t watched yet. Before I get into it, let me just start with a word of praise for the cast, who did a great job with their performances and kept this show afloat when the writing fell apart. And boy, did it fall apart.
In my view, this narrative had three main threads it was addressing: 1) Day’s journey to accepting his disability; 2) unresolved family trauma; and 3) Mhok and Day’s romance. And in the end, it failed on all three of them. I am going to dig into this and I am not feeling particularly nice, so if this is going to hurt your feelings I suggest you stop reading now. 
Day’s Journey
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Just…wow. We have been afraid of this turn the entire time and trying to hold out hope that the show would not go there, but here we are. I started laughing out loud when we got to the end of part 3 and Mhon’s phone went off with an alert for a new eye donor, and then just stared incredulously at my screen as we time skipped AGAIN to a Day whose vision had been restored for years (last week I joked to @bengiyo and @waitmyturtles that once a drama starts using time skips it becomes addictive and they never stop, and—welp!). What was this entire show for? Why did we spend twelve episodes with Day grieving his vision loss, learning how to cope, and finally accepting his blindness only to completely undercut it at the end? The first part of the finale was so much about how he was thriving—finding a new career for himself and becoming self-sufficient and growing so much on his own—only to give us an ending that implied he could not actually have his happily ever after without his vision restored. 
And this is in fact the message they sent by coupling the return of his vision with the return of he and Mhok’s relationship, and giving us a happy ending rooted in his contentment at having his sight back. They even went back to the Last Twilight mountain to completely tarnish the thematic resonance of the original scene. Calling back to the beautiful memory of Day “seeing” the sunset and experiencing “a moment so good that you feel like you can live there forever” as he accepted his disability with this scene of him seeing the real sunset with his restored vision was so hurtful to me that I actually got angry. Day didn’t need his vision back to get a happy ending, and I absolutely hate what this communicates about disabled people’s capacity to live happy and fulfilling lives. This show has created many writing sins but this is the most unforgivable to me.
Family Trauma
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The show began dropping the ball on this one a few weeks ago, but this finale put the nail in the coffin. We spent most of this episode at Porjai and Night’s wedding, an event that might have felt meaningful if the show had let us see any of their romance. I’m grateful to Mark Pakin and Namtan Tipnaree for their beauty and charisma because it’s the only thing that made me care about those scenes at all. Rather than actually being about them, however, this wedding was used primarily as a clunky vehicle to deliver heavy-handed messages about “second chances” to encourage Day to get back together with Mhok (more on that in the next section). 
I did enjoy the brief nods in this episode to the brothers continuing to have newfound harmony in their relationship, but where the show really lost me was in their attempt to bring Night and Day’s dad back into the mix and imply some sort of resolution between him and Mhon. Mhon, a woman whose perspective on their split we never actually saw, whose motivation for her choices and behavior toward her sons were completely elided by the narrative, who was forgiven and made peace with offscreen during a time skip. I was never given the chance to understand her or what this relationship meant to her in the first place, so why would I care about these scenes with her making her peace with this man? I continue to be so confused about where this show chose to spend its time, and why someone with Aof’s track record on developing strong and narratively important familial relationships dropped the ball so much with her. 
The Romance
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Okay, let’s get into it, and remember what I said about not reading if this is going to hurt your feelings! My criteria for considering a romance successful is I have to believe the relationship is mutual, beneficial to both of the pair, and that the couple is prepared to weather future challenges. Last Twilight’s romance fails on all three fronts, and it all comes down to the total imbalance in the relationship that persisted right through the final scenes.
This entire narrative has been Mhok bending to Day’s will, giving Day what he needs, forgiving him for everything, and letting him make all the decisions about the relationship, and the finale was regrettably more of the same. In episode 11, Mhok made a mistake when he lied to Day about turning down the job in Hawaii. But he made that mistake out of grief and fear, and Day didn’t care—he unfeelingly rejected him and his pain and ended their relationship without a second thought. That was potentially forgivable as a momentary lapse borne out of instinctual hurt, and could have been repairable had Day reconsidered soon after and extended Mhok some grace. But in this episode, we find out Day blocked Mhok and refused to communicate with him again after that night, and has left Mhok completely in the cold for three years after he failed to be perfect one (1) time.
And this episode? Was on Day’s side in this conflict. Mhok is the one to return and start pursuing Day again. Mhok is the one to broach the topic of their breakup. Mhok is the one to thank Day for breaking his heart and tell him he did nothing wrong (y’all, I almost threw something at the screen). Mhok’s grief and trauma go completely unaddressed in this finale until they try to play the Rung card for one last moment of sentiment. Day cries to his mother about how he just doesn’t know if he can forgive Mhok. And in the end, Mhok makes the grand gesture, missing his flight to go to Day and stay in Thailand with him despite the successful life he has built in Hawaii.
The cognitive dissonance I felt watching this play out was extreme. I rarely see a writer misunderstand their own characters and relationship conflict so thoroughly. In order to believe in this romance we needed to see Day finally show some empathy for Mhok, take responsibility for his own mistakes, and be the one to make an effort this time. We needed to believe that Day has the capacity to be a supportive partner to Mhok even when he’s struggling. But Day didn’t demonstrate any of that, and so I simply don’t believe in this relationship. I don’t believe Mhok can trust Day not to abandon him again when some other major life event intervenes and Mhok is less than perfect. And that’s a shame, because the show really almost had something here with these two. 
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And that’s all I got. What a disappointment this show turned out to be. If you need me, I will just be over here in my little corner imagining the Night and Porjai romcom that we never got and pretending the rest of this show ended several weeks ago.
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imaginethathaikyuu · 8 months
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Em, you probably don't know this, but I actually have a huge weakness for streamer!Kenma. This might be kinda basic but what if streamer!Kenma and streamer!reader are both super popular, and everyone is always begging them to stream together, but what everyone DOESN'T know is that they're secretly dating and are afraid that if they stream together everyone will figure it out :') but it's just a thought so yeah no pressure. I hope you do get some inspo for streamer!Kenma though 💗 ily!
kris i love u and i wrote this just for u <333 it feels like me and u are playing ping pong with the writing brain cell recently. i love it we're so back
streamer!kenma x streamer!reader
featuring: secret relationship, kenma teaches u how to play chess on stream, loving banter, little bits of chess talk. i tried not to put too much streamer talk in this so it was actually readable and not cringe. gender neutral reader word count: 1882
-
Kenma was just about to end his stream when he noticed your name being typed in the chat. Someone linked a clip of you from your stream - which was currently live - so he clicked it. 
A text to speech message read out loud, “Are you going to be in Noya’s next event?” and as you were focusing on your gameplay, you took a second to reply. 
“Am I… No, I don’t think so.” 
Kenma laughed while you struggled your way through playing MineCraft. 
“I was invited but - chat, I don’t want to start any drama but I kind of don’t want to play in it if Kenma’s playing, and someone told me he was invited.” 
Kenma barked a laugh, a loud noise that was rarely heard from him, as you shrugged and struggled to hide your smile. 
“There, I said it! If it starts drama, so be it!” You put your hands up in defense, laughing at yourself. 
The clip ended, so he immediately opened your stream, and you were still talking about him. 
He couldn’t hide his smile if he tried - he only hoped none of his viewers noticed the fondness in his eyes. 
The two of you had been dating for at least a year, and it was the best kept secret of his career.
There was a joke online about the two of you not liking each other. It all started when you were openly avoiding him in a game lobby with other streamers - from there, it grew into a bit that you committed to full throttle. 
Everyone knew you and Kenma were friends in real life. You shared a friend group, and often streamed with the same people. Online, however, you made a spectacle of not liking him. 
Kenma found it hilarious, and so did your chat. 
“Do you guys know he cheats in like, every game he plays?” 
“That’s not true!” He was laughing and rolling his eyes at the same time. “Oh my god.” 
He typed his words in your chat, and he watched the messages flood with his name. 
Your eyes widened a little when you read, “Is he in chat? Kenma, go away. This stream isn’t for you.” 
He typed a simple, “no,” and you scoffed at it. 
“Every time I mention your name you show up - I know you love the drama.” 
A few seconds later a text to speech message read, “he’s such a theater kid,” and at the sound of your laughter, he closed your stream. 
“I’m not a theater kid.” He sank a little in his chair, watching his chat being filled with emotes. “I literally played sports in high school!” 
It was only a few days later when he was sent another clip from your stream, this time from a text to speech donation. 
“Kenma, I think you need to see this.” 
He clicked the link and saw you were once again playing MineCraft. 
It was a long clip - in the game, you jumped off your boat into the ocean and started swimming to the bottom. Everyone in your chat was telling you not to, but you didn’t listen. 
“I’m not going to die. Why would I die? This is the best run I’ve had. I’m not going to die.” 
That’s when he realized you were playing the hardcore version of the game, meaning if you died, the game was over. 
He watched as you swam down into a huge ravine, and he had a feeling he knew what would happen as your character’s air bubbles were slowly popping. 
“Do you want to make a bet? If I die here I will do anything you want. Anything. Because I’m not going to die!” 
As you said that, your character started taking damage. And you tried swimming back up to the surface of the water, but you weren’t fast enough. You almost made it, and then - game over!
Your head was in your hands as the chat on screen spammed, “stream with Kenma!” 
Three days later, you were forced to take your punishment. 
Your viewers had been asking you to stream with Kenma for a long time, and you always avoided it with a joke - never revealing the real reason you didn’t want to go live with him. 
It wasn’t the end of the world if your relationship became public, but you knew things would be much easier in private. It wasn’t something you were trying to hide, but you weren’t posting it proudly, either. 
You decided on streaming Kenma teaching you how to play chess. He’d been playing a lot online, and you hoped it wouldn’t take longer than an hour. You were too nervous to go any longer than that. 
Kenma was late to answering your call. When he finally answered, you immediately started berating him. 
“Have you ever been on time?” 
“I was just seeing how long you’d wait for me,” he said. 
“If you never showed up, I would have gotten out of doing this.” 
He pulled up your stream just so he could look at you - even though he’d seen you just a few minutes ago. You were just down the hall, but nobody watching knew that. 
“Have you been watching my stream this whole time?” 
He grinned, “No, I’ve never watched your stream.” 
“Then why are you always in my chat?” 
You sat with your legs crossed, playing with the necklace you always wore - the one he bought for you just a few months ago. He loved seeing you wear it. 
“Because you’re always talking about me, like you’re obsessed with me or something.” 
“Can we get to the game? You’ve kept me waiting long enough.” 
Kenma wasn’t a good teacher - far from it - but he tried his best. After teaching you the names of all the pieces and how they moved, you were ready to play a game that he’d guide you through. You played white, he played black. 
“Can you just teach me the best opening in the game? I don’t need to know anything complicated.” 
“...Okay.” 
He took a second to decide. Once he made up his mind, he started giving his instructions. 
“The first move is pawn to f3.” 
“What does that mean?” 
“Do you see the pawns?” 
You laughed, because the way he said it sounded like he was talking to a kid. “Yes, I see the pawns!”
“Move the one on the F file up one square.” After a second you made your move, and it was his turn: pawn to e6. “Now pawn to g4.” 
“What’s this opening called?” 
He didn’t reply, instead, he was distracted by his chat. By now, everyone had already figured out what he was doing, and the messages they were sending made him laugh. 
“Kenma?” 
“It’s called the Fool’s Mate,” he said. 
“Why?” 
He had to push his microphone away from his face so you wouldn’t hear him laugh, but he pulled it back to say, “I think this is why.” 
He made his next move: queen to h4. And a window popped up on his screen, You Won! 
“What the fuck!” 
“Good game.”
“Kenma, what the fuck!” 
“You made it too easy.” 
“Kenma.” You were whining his name, sinking into your chair. “This is why I don’t like you.” 
“Everyone knew I would beat you, I just sped things up.” 
“That’s not true!” 
“You’re always such a sore loser,” he mumbled. 
“You’re always a cheater.” 
Twenty minutes later, you were in the middle of a real game - if Kenma telling you which moves to make could be considered real. And both of you had successful streams so far, your viewers none the wiser to the truth of your relationship. 
It was easy, he realized, and fun. He hated how funny you were, because you could make him laugh more than anyone, and he was sure he seemed completely lovesick. 
“I think you should move the bishop,” Kenma suggested when you took more than two minutes to offer your next move. 
“Uh…” 
“The bishop.” 
“I don’t remember which one that is!” 
Kenma waited for you to figure it out, and then you moved your queen. 
And he was truly disappointed, because that was the one move you shouldn’t have made. He couldn’t even laugh. 
“You just sacrificed your queen.” 
“I don’t even know what that means!” 
“Babe - that was a total blunder!” His queen captured yours, and he realized this may have been a complete waste of time. “You lost your most important piece!” 
“I thought that was the bishop, Ken!” 
He sighed, acting as dramatic as possible. “You haven’t learned a thing. It’s basically game over, now,” and he scanned the chess board on his screen, looking for the quickest way to end the game. 
He looked over at his chat to see it was being spammed with question marks, and then his phone vibrated with a message from you. 
It read, “you just let the cat out of the bag.” 
“Oh,” he said. He laughed, because he only just realized what he said - the nickname had slipped before he could catch himself - and something awkward started to settle. But he shrugged it off. “Oops.” 
He started texting you back until you said, “are you disappointed in me, babe?” 
“Oh my god.” He sat his phone down, ignoring your message completely. “Stop flirting with me.” 
“You said it first!” 
“It was an accident!” 
You texted him again. “Should we just tell them?” 
He typed back, “I think so.” 
“Okay, wait,” you said. “Everyone go look at Kenma’s stream. He’s going to do something really cool while I go to the bathroom.” 
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He opened your stream in another tab and watched you get up from your seat. 
Everyone in your chat and his was confused - as was he. 
Then, his door opened, and you walked in. 
“What are you doing?” he laughed. 
“I wanted to come say hi.” You walked over to him, grabbing the back of his chair and turning it back and forth just to bother him. “Wait, are you streaming?” 
He scoffed, but it was all affectionate. “You’re so dumb.” 
You looked down at his screen and waved, “hi chat!” and then noticed he had your stream on his second monitor. “You’re watching my stream!” 
“Yeah, I’m a fan,” he joked. 
He knew the chat would be filled with questions and reactions, but he didn’t care at all. He found this entire thing hilarious, and judging by the smirk on your face, you did too. 
When you finally got back to your room, you sat down as if nothing had even happened. 
“Okay, can you teach me what a Queen’s Gambit is?” 
“No, because you can’t even tell me which piece is the queen.” 
Later that night when you had both ended your livestreams, both of you made your own posts on twitter acknowledging the announcement you’d made. Kenma posted a photo of you with his cat in your lap - the one that had been his phone wallpaper since he’d taken it. You posted the first selfie you’d taken together - both without captions, because there was no explanation required. 
And if you kept acting like you hated Kenma during your stream, he’d be the only one allowed to call your bluff.
-
send a request for a drabble and i might write it :)
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maple-tree-hills · 2 months
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Percy Jackson AU where instead of Poseidon being absent in Percy’s life, he helps raise him. But Percy doesn’t know his dad is Poseidon. He thinks Peter Johnson is a marine biologist and a fisherman who is frequently on long business trips for his job. Maybe Sally and Poseidon are divorced, and she marries Smelly Gabe or maybe they’re still together, who knows.
Just, instead of Percy being in anger at the gods for neglecting their children he’s in disbelief that his very normal father is Poseidon. They go on fishing trips together all the time and he dresses like a tacky Hawaiian tourist. Not a god. He refuses to believe this despite Grover being a satyr, and Mr. Brunner being a centaur.
I’m not sure if Percy should know all of the gods or not. Maybe he knows Mr. D already as Cousin Dexter. Cousin Dexter has shown up a couple of times in his life. He’s a devil for the drink and a known alcoholic, so why is he at this weird camp playing cards with Grover and Mr. Brunner? And they start talking about the gods and demigods again. And Mr. D calls him ‘mortal.’ And Percy’s like yeah, no Cousin Dexter has had a bit too much to drink despite the fact that he can’t smell any alcohol on him, and he’s only been drinking Diet Coke. Percy switches subjects as to why Mr. D isn’t drinking any alcohol. Apparently, his father won’t let him drink alcohol anymore and is forcing him to work at this summer camp. Percy is happy to hear this because at least someone isn’t having Cousin Dexter’s shit anymore.
Then they switch gears back into the conversion about gods existing and he’s sure Grover, or Mr. Brunner, or Mr. D will say sike, but none of them do. They all seriously believe in the gods. Well Percy is stubborn and won’t be convinced this easily.
And then he finds out that Hades stole the master bolt and has his mother, and he’s like uncle Hector? Uncle Hector is a god of the underworld? And he has my mother and stole Zeus’s lightning bolt? No way. Uncle Hector lives in LA and works at a music producing studio. He is not the god of the underworld. He is not Hades, this is insane and Percy does not appreciate being punked. He’ll admit some supernatural stuff is real because a minatur killed his mom, but being a demigod no way.
And they keep telling Percy about the family drama and he’s still in disbelief. All he knows about uncle Zane is that his father is not on good terms with him. There’s no way uncle Zane who his father HATES, who works in the Empire State Building is Zeus. There’s just no way.
And then he finds out about the Big Three and forbidden children thing. And he goes ‘That can’t be true uncle Hector has two kids: cousin Bianca and cousin Nico.’ And he just accidentally spoils to everyone that Hades has not kept his end of the pact about fathering more mortal children.
And then they’re on the road going through quests fighting against Alecto again, Echidna, and Medusa and Percy still can’t believe the gods are real.
It isn’t until he gets to the underworld that he starts believing. There seated on a dark throne surrounded by skeletons is Uncle Hector? Uncle Hector is actually Hades? He’s freaking out he’s never seen his uncle this way before. He’s terrifying and keeps demanding this Helm of Darkness thing in exchange for his mother. Where’s Nico he wants to hang out with his cousin?
And maybe Percy sasses him because what the heck uncle Hector sending furies after your nephew and holding your sister-in-law hostage and accusing your nephew of theft is not cool. And things for the most part will proceed like they do in the book for the most part. I could see Hades when he’s pretending to be a human behaving similarly to Jay Duplass’s portrayal of him in the TV show. Just a comical uncle who is most certainly not lord of the underworld.
(I’ve only seen the TV and I’ve almost finished the first book so far, but I do know Hades has two kids named Bianca and Nico)
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bengiyo · 2 months
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Hi, i'm a newish bl drama watcher from thailand that just started watching thai bls. i'm a bit ashamed to say that for a long time as a gay man living here i've been avoiding bl shows like the plague cuz of both the fandom reputation and of misconception from my yaoi era which i leave far behind. i'm just want to ask how did you got into watching thai bls and what were you preconception before you got into it.
Welcome to the Tumblr side of BL fandom. I'd actually like to also hear more of your experience with yaoi and BL as a gay person growing up in Thailand if you're willing to share.
For me, I'm a Black American from the Gulf Coast (the South). I grew up in a Catholic city and spent my entire adolescence in the closet. Despite having a sense of who I was as early as 8 years old, I kept most of that to myself. Because I didn't talk about it much with people, I found out most information about queer media and queerness from the internet.
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I entered BL via queer cinema. I think the first explicitly gay character that I remember from TV was Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. There were probably others, and definitely more subtle expressions, but when I think about the oldest gay character I remember and connect to, it's Marco. I don't like counting things like shipping Shawn and Corey on Boy Meets World or Tai and Matt on Digimon for oldest gay characters. Sailor Moon can't even count because we got a censored version of it in America.
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I got access to satellite television away from observing eyes around age 16 and started watching content on Logo back when they aired gay content regularly. I watched basically whatever I could late at night. It's how I saw movies like Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), and Bent (1997). It's also how I saw Queer as Folk (2000-2005) Noah's Arc (2005-06).
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After hitting adulthood I mostly got lost in video games and standard American TV for a while, but I did basically show up to any Gay Event in TV. I appreciate that Stef and Lena from The Fosters (2013-2018) were some of the only TV lesbians to survive the horror of 2016.
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I watched a bunch of movies in this time, many of which appear on the Queer Cinema Syllabus I made for a hypothetical Westerner new to BL and queer cinema, which @wen-kexing-apologist has decided to try to complete.
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I got into Thai BL in 2018 accidentally. I started seeing gifsets of Kongpob telling Arthit he'll make him his wife passing around Tumblr and was basically like, "Right, what's all this then?"
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I had watched a few Thai gay films, mostly notably Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), How to Win at Checkers Every Time (2015), and The Blue Hour (2015), but this was the first time I was seeing a long series made available so easily from any Asian country.
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From there I got into Make It Right (2016-17) and Love Sick the series (2014). Once I realized that yaoi had moved beyond manga and a few anime adaptations, I went looking for a lot more. I basically haven't left since I started in about 2016 with SOTUS.
There's my basic entry into the genre. I don't think I was as worried about fandom and worries at the time because so much of being a fan of queer cinema was a mostly-private experience for me for so long. I didn't realize that BL fans active in the space would predominantly be women or queers figuring themselves out. It took a while to adjust to that, and also to adjust my expectations of the kinds of queer stories BL distributors were willing to fund.
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That being said, I tend to agree with @absolutebl that BL has a useful role in normalization for non-queer audiences who encounter it. I like cheering BL when it does things I think work really well, and also deriding it when I think it does things that are offensive to help nudge the genre and offer my perspective as a gay man.
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I like the place we're at right now where there's way too much to watch for any person with other hobbies and responsibilities because it means that people can pick and choose what's to their tastes.
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More often than not, I'm probably most-invested in something airing from Japan because of my melancholy nature, but there's so much variety these days that it's okay if you don't like everything. I certainly don't!
I'm glad you joined us on Tumblr and look forward to your thoughts!
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harlowsbby · 4 months
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Deserve U?
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Requested, Jack and the reader broke up a few years ago, jack thought it was best they went their own ways but a few years later they meet again, he realizes he regretted everything.
“Show me how much you missed me.” Jack grinned as he leaned back into his spot on the couch.
The two of you were the only ones on the tour bus as of right now, everyone else was out getting food or trying to explore the newest city you were all in.
It was your first time being with Jack after being away for the first leg of his tour. Even though you both could’ve went out and explored you decided to stay behind and catch up on lost time.
“How am I going to do that? Everyone will be back soon.” You told him but nonetheless took a seat on his lap, straddling him.
He leaned back against the couch and took your hands in his and started twiddling with your fingers.
“Well you know I love when you kiss me, you can shower me in a ton of kisses.” You smacked your lips softly. “My lips are going to fall off with the amount of times I’ve kissed you today.”
“Okay so since you don’t wanna kiss me.” He paused to roll his eyes. “Lemme know how much you missed me.” You looked at him with your eyebrows raised.
“Like out of hundred?” You questioned. “Yes.” You thought about it for a few seconds and decided to tease him a bit.
“Honestly, I didn’t really miss you that much I mean you’re always calling me you never give me the chance to miss you.” You watched how his smile quickly turned into a frown.
“You’re kidding right?” You grinned and started laughing as Jack huffed. “Haha it’s so funny.” He stated, the sarcasm dripping off his tongue.
“Oh come on it was a little funny and you know it.” He shook his head. “Just a little.”
The two of you sat there in a peaceful silence but Jack’s stomach grumbling soon broke the silence.
“You hungry.” You stated. “I’m actually starving, ima go shower real fast and then we can get food yeah?”
You smiled and nodded. “Sounds good, I’ll be here.” You told him and removed yourself from his lap and Jack made his way to the back of the tour bus to the shower but not before giving you a kiss.
“I love you.” You grinned and blew him a kiss. “I love you more Jack.”
While Jack was in the shower you laid down on the couch just scrolling through different apps when you heard Jack’s phone going off.
“Who is texting us.” You mumbled to yourself. You had the password to Jack’s phone but you trusted him and never felt the need to go through his phone but when it went off again, your curiosity got the best of you.
Ace ❤️‍🔥
- Yo, Drama wants to know did you end things with Y/N yet? I know you don’t want to but I mean it’s for the best, your life is getting more and more hectic I don’t think she’ll be able to keep up.
“Break up with me?” You mumbled. “I can keep up what makes them think I can’t?”
Your mind starting racing with many different reasons as to why Jack or his team thought you wouldn’t be able to keep up with him as he started to become bigger within the industry.
You wanted to be here for the entire ride, for the journey so everything wasn’t making any sense, your thoughts were soon interrupted by Jack.
“Babe, you good? You look like you just saw a ghost or something.” He chuckled and he dried his wet curls with his towel.
“You’re breaking up with me?” You blurted out. His face fell when he noticed his phone in your hand. “Shit, you went through my phone Y/N?” His voice raised a bit.
“It kept going off so yeah I answered it just to see you were planning on breaking up with me.” You spat.
“If you planned on breaking up with me why did you even bother to fly me out here? And what makes you think I can’t keep up with you.”
Jack sighed and went to take a step forward towards you but you took a step back. “It isn’t me Y/N, I want you to be apart of all of this but another part of me feels like breaking up might me a good thing.”
You shook your head at him as the tears slowly started to fall. “I just don’t want you to regret not finishing college or doing what you’ve wanted to do in life. I don’t want your life to be just touring and following me around the world, I want you to create a life for yourself.”
Jack was coming from a good place but you weren’t trying to hear any of it because to you it was all bullshit. “I can still achieve things while being with you. I can still graduate and work on my career and stuff, I don’t want us to break up.” You croaked out.
“I’m sorry babe-.” You stopped him. “Don’t call me that.” You mumbled he sighed heavily.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I just think it’s for the best.” You nodded your head and grabbed your purse.
“Where are you going?” Jack asked as he watched you collect all your luggage. “Home, since I’m clearly not wanted here anymore. I hope everything works out for you Jack, I really do.”
You thought he would’ve ran after you or chased you down and told you to stop but he didn’t. He allowed you to act a flight home that night alone and hasn’t spoken to you since.
(flashback over, we’re in 2023 now, the little flashback took place in 2021)
“Jack, what the hell are you doing? We’re at Morris’s Deli. Get up because I’m hungry and I need food.” Urban yelled and made his way off the sprinter into the deli shop.
“You’re always hungry I swear you have two stomachs.” Ace told Urban as he followed after him.
Jack groaned and stretched as he woke up, he sighed and closed his eyes once again, as of lately he’s been dreaming about you often which is weird because he hasn’t seen you since 2020.
Even though the two of you both lived in Louisville you never ran into each other, but ever since Jack moved back home he was praying and wishing on a star that he’d run into you.
He made his way off the sprinter and inside the deli to where he was greeted by the smell of ham, salami and other various meats and cheeses.
“About damn time I thought we were going to have to drag you off that bus!” Urban yelled once again and started chowing down on his sandwich.
Ace shook his head at Urban and turned his head to Jack who honestly was completely out of it and he knew why. “You thinking about Y/N?” Ace asked.
“Yeah man she’s been on my mind heavy lately and I’m not sure why.” Urban frowned. “Maybe she’s thinking about you too.” Jack huffed. “I doubt that I’m sure she hates me.” Jack grumbled and sulked into his seat.
“I mean you never know unless you ask.” Ace suggested. “How am I going to do that? She has me blocked on everything.”
Within a few seconds Urban was pulling out his phone and shoving it in Jack’s face. “On her story she reposted the school play flyer for Atherton High School.”
Jack took the phone out Urban’s hand and saw for himself that you reposted the flyer for the school’s musical tonight, the next story showed you recording a few students that were in rehearsal for the play.
“She’s going to be there tonight?” Urban nodded. “Yeah she invited me, I think you should tag along and maybe catch her after the show?”
“Do you two really think that’s a good idea? I can hear Drama now.” Ace said.
“I don’t care what he thinks anymore Ace, this is my life and I need to make things right with Y/N. I just hope she can forgive me.”
Jack knew it wasn’t going to be easy trying to get you to trust him and to be his again but he knew he had to at least try.
————————————————————————
“What are you wearing tonight? And don’t saw sweats and a hoodie.” Your friend Annie stated.
“What? Why not? I don’t feel like wearing a dress I’m just the director.” Annie smacked her lips. “That’s exactly why you need to be dressed up, you’re the director. You’re going to be getting a standing ovation once the play is over.”
You rolled your eyes playfully at your overdramatic friend. “Fine I’ll dress up.” She grinned and clapped. “Good! Because I’m tired of seeing you in sweats you need to dress up.”
You knew Annie meant well so you didn’t let her little diss affect you. After your breakup with Jack you buried yourself into work and into helping out at your old high school which was Atherton High.
There was a few times that Jack would come to the house to surprise the kids and every time you made sure to be either hiding somewhere in the school or in your car.
But with news going around that he had moved back to Louisville you just had this uneasy feeling in your stomach that you’d run into him.
“What’s wrong with you? You have that look on your face.” Annie asked. “What look?”
“Your face always looks uneasy whenever you’re stressing out about something, is it Jack?” She whispered. “Yeah I just have this feeling that I’m going to be running into him sooner than later.”
She frowned and rubbed your back in soothing circles. “Well let’s hope you don’t but if you do, you know I know how to fight.” You laughed.
“Thanks Annie I’ll definitely keep you close to me tonight.” She laughed.
“Go home and get ready I can take care of setting up everything.” You thanked her and made your way out of the auditorium, once you were gone Annie pulled out her phone and called Urban.
“Hello?” Urban picked up after a ring or two. “Urban, you’re coming tonight with Jack?” Urban nodded his head.
“Yep we’ll be there, are you sure tonight will end well?” He asked but he had an uneasy tone.
“I sure hope so. They both miss each other I know it, I just hope tonight doesn’t back fire.”
Annie and Urban wanted to see Jack and You back together so they were willing to do anything at this point.
All Annie could do was pray that tonight was going to end well.
————————————————————————
“There’s so many people tonight.” You spoke as you peaked from behind the curtain at the crowd that was forming in the school auditorium.
“It’s a Christmas play Y/N and besides rumor has it Jack Harlow is coming tonight!” The principal Mrs. Honey exclaimed.
“Jack? As in I can put you in first class, Jack?” Mrs. Honey laughed at your statement. “Yes Y/N, Jack will be here tonight.”
“Great.” You stated with a tight lip smile. “I’ll be right back.” You excused yourself and went to find Annie, who was near the box office.
“Annie.” You whispered. The student that was near Annie nudged her shoulder and pointed to you. “What are you doing Y/N?” She asked as she made her way to you.
“I didn’t know Jack was coming tonight!” She smiled. “Surpriseeee.” She dragged out her words and waved her hands awkwardly.
“You knew!” You hissed. “I mean fuck yes I did but I did it for a reason.” You groaned and placed your hands on your hip.
“What’s the reason?”
“I just want you two to make up and be you know in love again, I know you miss him Y/N. I always catch you looking at old videos and pictures of him.”
You’d be lying if you didn’t agree you did miss Jack and a lot, the truth is you haven’t even bothered going on any sort of dates after Jack.
“And what if tonight backfires?” You questioned. “We’ll pack up and move to Alaska.” She joked.
“Next time you do something like this just know ima hurt you.” She gulped. “I promise there won’t be a next time because tonight will end just like I planned.”
“Where are we sitting?” Jack asked Urban as they both made it to the auditorium, by now everyone was inside the auditorium.
“Annie, gave us front row seats so hurry up it’s about to start.” Jack decided to wear an all black sweat suit, he had his hoodie on and his black prada shades so that he wasn’t as recognizable.
When they made it inside everyone was seated and thankfully they didn’t pay attention to either Urban or himself as they came in. Once in his seat he looked around the room trying to see if he could spot you.
“Ms. Y/N, my dress is too tight can you help me loosen it.” Jack’s head shot up at the mention of your name.
There you stood near the exit of the stage helping one of the student adjust her dress, his heart started to skip a beat at the sight of you, you looked even more beautiful than before.
The all black one piece and the black heels to match was definitely doing your curves justice. After you fixed the students dress you stayed at your spot on the side of the stage.
You looked into the crowd just browsing around seeing who was there when your eyes landed on Jack.
He gave you a small smile and wave and you rolled your eyes and quickly went backstage. Jack frowned although he kinda expected that reaction he was kinda hoping you’d be somewhat thrilled to see him.
“I’ll be back.” He told Urban and excused himself. He was somehow able to sneak his way backstage without being caught.
You were near the mirrors the students use to do their makeups to get ready, you were retouching your makeup when you saw Jack’s reflection through the mirror.
“What are you doing back here?” You spat and turned around and took him in fully. The mullet actually looked really good on him, he still had that charming smile and his eyes seemed even more blue.
“I’m Jack Harlow.” He grinned and you huffed and went to stand up to leave but he grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you back into him.
The two of you were now chest to chest and being this close to Jack again had your nerves running wild.
“What do you want Jack? We have nothing to talk about at all.” You stated and tried avoiding eye contact with him but he had a somewhat tight grip on your chin and made you look at him.
“I came to get my girl back.” He admitted. “I’m not your girl anymore, remember you said I couldn’t handle all the fame and shit.” You bitterly stated.
He sighed. “I never said that Y/N but I was wrong for allowing outside people to try and tell me what was best for me.” He paused.
“I’ve missed you so much and I know gaining your trust is going to take awhile but I’m willing to work on it.”
You could tell he was being sincere his eyebrows scrunched together and his eyes were beginning to tear up a bit. “Don’t tell me you’re about to cry Jack?” The two of you laughed.
“I just missed you so much baby.” Your stomach did backflips at the nickname. “I missed you too Jack.” You admitted.
“Can I kiss you?” He asked. “Hmm a kiss on the cheek for now.” He smacked his lips playfully but nonetheless placed several kisses to your cheek.
“Okay, okay.” You laughed. “Let’s go back and watch the play it’s about to start.” You told him and pulled him along to the side of the stage.
“So since you forgive me now.” You had to stop him. “Uh I didn’t completely forgive you.” He smacked his teeth.
“Here you again.” You raised your brows. “Here I go again? What does that even mean?” You stated and went on a little rant on how he’s even lucky that you forgave him.
Jack smiled and laughed as you rambled on and on he missed having little petty childish arguments with you, he knew it was going to take some time to mend things, but you were worth the wait.
(Thank you @earthtoharlow for helping me 💗.)
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gothicbarbie · 4 months
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MY TOP 10 BEST BL COUPLES OF 2023
So I guess I'm a little late considering it's now 2024 in most places, but well, better late than never. I tried and failed to rank top 20 or even 10 kisses... I just couldn't remember them all or even choose... but most of my top couples have some pretty great kisses, so at least there's that! I can, however, rank my favorite BL pairings from 2023, so... let's do it! I will be ranking these from least favorite to favorite because I think it's more fun that way... Also I credited all the gif makers at the bottom but I did list the tumblr user for each specific gif underneath. If someone wants me to remove their gif, please let me know and I will so! I just wanted to pretty up the post a bit.
Also, to clarify, any couple on a show that is currently airing and not complete yet is not eligible to be on the list for 2023. Trust me, there were many I wanted to include!
Honorary Mentions:
Tinn & Gun | My School President
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So, spoiler, a different GeminiFourth pairing will be on the actual top 10 so I didn't really want to include both pairings on the list, but I really did love the two of them in My School President. G/F just have such a wonderful and natural chemistry. The way they always look at each other just feels so pure and sweet. I really like pairings where one is secretly pining for the other, but Tinn/Gun also sorta had a hate/love ISH thing going for a little while. The progression of their relationship to actual boyfriends was just so fun to watch and really well done.
Dong Wook & Do Hyun | A Breeze of Love
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I watched this BL so quickly that it didn't really resonate with me as well as some other series, which is why these two didn't make the top 10, however, I really enjoyed their relationship on the show. I love hate to love pairings and I found their backstory scenes really sweet as well. I also thought they had a really nice chemistry and there were some strong kissing moments for a kbl.
Jihan & Jaejun | City Boy Log
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I didn't include these two on the main list for two reasons, one: the show is not over yet... i don't think? and two: this technically isn't a BL drama? IDK anymore, but regardless I love this series and this couple so dang much! I love the realness of them filming themselves and how their relationship is portrayed so subtly until their feelings just sort of emerge. They have some really wonderful and special scenes or moments together that we don't typically get on other series. I am anxious to see where the rest of the story goes and I hope the actors get another opportunity to work together. The side pairing is great too!
Top 10!
#10. Ai & Songkhram | Destiny Seeker
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These two were so damn fun to watch, I really loved the hate to love thing at the start that quickly turned into love (Or I guess always sort of was???). The actors had such a great chemistry together and they had so many fun little moments and bantery scenes together. While the rest of the series felt a little flat for me, their connection continuously kept me interested.
#09. Ze Rui & Zong Yi | Kiseki Dear to Me
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Honestly don't even know what to write about these two or how to explain why I like them, because there wasn't anything particularly special about their dynamic that typically draws me in, but I just really enjoyed the actors chemistry together and I really liked the progression of their relationship and how well they meshed together. Their kissing was extremely natural too.
#08. King & Eua | Bed Friend
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Firstly, these two are HOT AF, and I really loved the friends with benefits storyline between these two, but more than that, we have a perfect character imo with King, who was continuously there for Eua and always trying to help him and make him understand how much he really cared. The show could be very dark at times but I love that King was always sort of the shining light for Eua.
#07. Segaski & Yoh | My Personal Weatherman
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I can admit that the big draw to this show for me originally was the sexy scenes and moments, and while I do think the series could have done with some more scenery changes and better storylines, considering the time frame, I enjoyed watching the relationship between the two characters develop. It's nice to get a friends with benefits type of relationship and see how it progresses into more than that. And for a JBL it was nice to see some high heat with a happy ending.
#06. Su Yu & Wu Bi | Stay With Me
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SIGH. THESE TWO. So I mean, I understand the criticism of this show and their relationship. So many things are implied but personally I felt like the end half made it pretty clear that these two were 100% a romantic couple. (just wish it was clarified when that change happened) But the progression of their relationship from hate to love was so beautiful to watch. Even if it was just a friendship it was worth it imo to see how close they got. Fair warning, the finale episode is not the best lmao, but I hope we get a second season to sort of fix it? Fingers crossed on that one.
#05. Wan & Ki Tae | Our Dating Sim
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This was definitely one of the cutest BL's of the year and this couple falls into that category well too. I really loved seeing them re-connect. I love that they were old best friends (with feelings) that had a lot of issues to sort through and we saw some adorable flashback scenes as well as current scenes. I also love that they got together and were mostly happy instead of having a lot of intense drama.
#04. Li Ming & Heart | Moonlight Chicken
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These two... so much to say about them and yet I don't really know where to start. Gemini and Fourth just work so well together and I felt like this duo was even deeper than in MSP. They started out on bad terms but quickly became close and I really loved the progression of their relationship and then I adored how we also got to see them together as a couple too. My favorite thing about them was how hard Li Ming worked to try to understand Heart and how he learned sign language for him and encouraged him to get to know others like him and to put himself out there. They also had such a fun banter with playful moments and scenes. It was just so damn pure and sweet to watch with no unnecessary or stupid fillery drama.
#03. Jae Won and Ji Hyun | The Eighth Sense
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Something about this pairing just felt so much different than the typical KBL pairing. The show itself was so much deeper and had a more serious tone than we typically get, which was amazing. The actors nailed the roles and you could really feel the tension and longing between them right from the beginning. I loved their storyline so much and the actors seemed so comfortable together.
#02. Yamato & Kakeru | I Cannot Reach You
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This was one of my favorite BL's of the year and their relationship was a huge part of it. I thought I was more into hate to love, but clearly, based on this list, that isn't always the case. There is something so sweet and adorable about best friends turned to lovers. I really love too when we see one side pining for the other, so this couple was extremely enjoyable to watch!
#01. Chen Yi & Ai Di | Kiseki Dear To Me
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Good Lord these two... they had the perfect formula for my favorite type of pairing. Hate to love, drama, tension, angst, one-sided pining... it was so painful to have to wait every week for more. But god, it was worth the wait and their chemistry was just so good, their kisses were phenomenal too. Def. a memorable pair and a show I will be rewatching very soon!
THANK YOU to all these wonderful humans for making the most amazing gifs that I used in this post!
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mariefilms · 9 months
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╰───► MORAL CONSCIENCE- e. williams smau.
「tres」 ⇢ love between
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Pairing — streamer! ellie x youtuber!black fem!reader x rockstar! dina
warnings — 18+ MDNI !!!, cussing, smut, fingering, oral (r receiving)
a/n ik ts took like tears to come out but HERE !( btw, this is a week after dina’s party 🧘🏾) this is also not proofread so.. ntm !!
chapter 2 ⇢ chapter 4
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as you locked your phone and got up to let ellie in you felt bad for lying to dina even tho you really didn’t have any obligations to her. it still hadn’t hit you that you and dina were really done and you were fucking around with one of her best friends. but you couldn’t lie, it felt good to be with someone new and not someone who’s fucked you over time and time again.
shaking your head at your slowly declining thoughts you let ellie in and gave her a hug to which she took it upon herself to wrap her arms around your waist and sneakily (not) feel up on your ass and squeeze while pulling you into a heated kiss. you shuddered a moan into her mouth and reciprocated the kiss for a while before breaking it and looking up at her. she smiled and dove back in for more making you smile and let out a soft laugh.
“we’re supposed to be talking, not making out ellie” you smile into her incessant kissing before pulling back from her lips to look into her piercing green eyes. “i know, i know but i couldn’t help it” she kisses you one more time before moving to go sit on your light pink couch. you follow after her and sit facing her with your knees pulled into your chest before speaking, “ um so.. i know we both know how much drama this would cause if dina were to find out. and i think we should like slow down ? i don’t know but i feel like we’re moving very fast especially since i’ve just got of a relationship with dina, who’s you’re literal bestfriend and i feel super shitty right now and i wanna continue pursuing.. this .. thing? we have but-” you stopped yourself at the touch of ellie grabbing your hands to try and help calm you down before you drew in a deep breath and continued on with your rant and exposing how you feel. “but i feel like we should slow down, like no more fucking until we decide if this is something serious and not us just fucking around behind dina’s back” you exhaled deeply once you were finished saying what you needed to say and waited with bated breath to hear ellie’s response
she started nodding her head and said “yea, i agree. we are doing shit very unconventional and i don’t wanna hurt dina nor do i wanna hurt you. i really like you y/n and i want to actually see where this goes even if we are like super sexually compatible” she smirks at you as you groaned at her last statement. “ellie be so for real oh my god!” you laughed at her in embarrassment.
❥—————————————————————————————>
“ellie fuckkk-”
you honestly don’t know how you got in this position. at one point you and ellie were just talking and watching shows on netflix, trying to adhere to your rule of no fucking, but… that’s didn’t last long at all. ellie had (like always) brung some pre-rolls and decided you both should get high. it’s not like the last time y’all did that you both ended up naked under soft silken sheets in a penthouse apartment, but hey! you thought tonight would be different because you set some ground rules until you decided it wasn’t going to fast. you were wrong. as soon as ellie gave you a shotgun kiss it was over.
so now here you were, losing your mind over ellie’s tongue in your pussy. she was so good at sucking your soul and the tongue piercing didn’t help. you’ve already came like two times already and ellie would not let up. she said she’s just trying to make up for causing you so much emotional distress but you called bullshit. you weren’t complaining tho. ellie one of the best you’d ever had, almost better than dina. almost.
“ellie i can’t take itttt” you whined and pushed at her head. she was getting frustrated with how many times you kept trying to run and smacked your thigh before pinning them down by your ears. this girl had you to where you were unable to move and all you could do was take what she gave you. “i told yo ass to stop moving.” she emphasized her words with a harsh thrust of her fingers in your pussy before pistoning them and hitting that spongy spot that made your eyes roll back and your toes curl in pleasure.
all you could do was moan from the immense pleasure you were feeling. you know this whole arrangement was wrong but you couldn’t deny the way ellie made you feel.
“mmm i love this pussy baby” ellie moaned into your clit, still thrusting her slender but long fingers into your pussy. she raised her eyes to look at you. she found your eyes rolled into the back of your head and your mouth agape. your face was contorted in pleasure and she loved the sight of how her ministrations affected you. “you gonna cum baby? feel your pussy clenching all on my fingers” she chuckled at your pathetic state and you whimpered at the rapidly rising feeling of your orgasm approaching. “ellie shittt im close, don’t stop!” you grabbed ellie’s shoulders and digged your nails in at the feeling of her speeding up.
you were out of your mind. ellie was pounding her fingers into you so hard and fast that all that was on your mind was her. you weren’t thinking about dina and what would happen if yours and ellies escapades we’re to be found out. the combination of ellie fucking you with her fingers and making out with your clit pushed you over the edge with a piercing scream. “oh my godddd” ellie groaned into your pussy and pulled out her fingers before licking your cum off of them.
“you taste so good baby” she moaned and bent down to give you a deep kiss. you whimpered into her mouth while reciprocating and wrapping your arms around her neck. she pecked you on the lips one, two times before leaning back and smirking at you smugly. “oh fuck off!” you rolled your eyes and hit her upside the head with your pillow, she laughed in response and gave you another kiss.
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sleepynegress · 8 months
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A COMPREHENSIVE & AUTHENTIC UHURA LOVE/HISTORY POST
The above is where Roddenberry 1st employed Nichelle Nichols [click to watch the full clip]. It was a military show based on Roddenberry's own experiences, the episode is called To Set it Right (I highly suggest reading the wiki article about it).
You should note two other actors, whom he later pegged for Star Trek are in the episode.
They dated briefly and then became good friends way before Trek came about.
Miss Nichols was already an accomplished singer and dancer who performed regularly w/ Billy Eckstine and Duke Ellington
Roddenberry's 1st show, The Lieutenant, was canceled/pulled from the air before these scenes bluntly dealing with racism could air (there's blackface as punishment for the racists at the end of the show, in a case of 'he 'a little confused but got the spirit' for the times, so tw)
He created Star Trek to try to soften the blow of all the social messaging he wanted to insert from his military experience. Star Trek was basically, a submarine drama placed in a sci-fi setting. He made it diverse on purpose because the military helped him travel and serve with all kinds of people. Roddenberry was inspired by that.
Uhura was the first person to read for Spock and in fact, helped to shape the character with her reading and based many of the traits of Uhura (formerly Uhuru) on Spock.
She was basically a glorified secretary. She played the part with poise, joy, and the 60's style womanism she got to play out for those times... Everything from her mini-skirt (which Nichelle herself called very comfortable) to her smile, and teasing lines, and quips were about her playing "big" in a small role. She made every moment, every look, every line, and movement count:
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Roddenberry cracked jokes about the fact that the network never figured out that Uhura was fourth in command.
Nichelle was the only main cast member who was not salaried. She was paid by the hour. This attempt at marginalization actually resulted in her being the highest paid at times, because of the long hours.
Nichelle was not let in the front entrance at times, her fan-mail was kept from her, and she grew frustrated with the constant cutting of her scenes, lines and storylines. This is why she justifiably attempted to leave. The bigots in production did not like her being there (and if we're being real, were it not for Janice Rand's actress Grace Lee Whitney having gone through so much and thus losing her job in the 1st season...Uhura might have had even LESS presence)
The lost context in MLK convincing her to stay was that YES she was minimized and could make more money and be more fulfilled on broadway, but her symbolism and presence meant so much at a time when Black women weren't on TV unless as a racist caricature cleaning a house, and even that was rare...that she stayed.
One of her best allies was DeForest Kelly, who threatened to quit if they fired Nichelle. George Takei was her absolute best friend on the show and in life (she served as his Best Woman at his wedding).
There was an unfilmed episode in which Uhura and Deforest would have played reverse roles in "racial dynamics" on a planet they visit
Spock and Uhura were originally supposed to kiss in the alien mind control episode, but Shatner demanded to do so for the publiicity.
Her work to recruit marginalized people as astronauts, as in personally going to colleges and talking to candidates after the show is a staggering achievement that arguably is the most potent of any castmember in any of the Trek series post-show. Sally Ride, Guy Bluford (she personally recruited the 1st woman and 1st black astronaut), Mae Jemison (the 1st black woman credits her for inspiring her to become an astronaut).
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Uhura did finally command the ship in the animated series. She would not have gotten to voice the role, but for Leonard Nimoy making it an obligation that all the original actors voice their parts for him to come on.
Scotty and Uhura in the film was definitely a pair the spares situation, in which both were the leftover senior citizens with the writers just going "why not?"
it was beyond insulting and she did protest about the scene where she's bumbling through a giant translation book to speak to klingons for laughs in trek 5 ...but her best moment IMO is her pulling a gun on the young ensign in the transporter room in Trek 3...sadly her ONLY scene in the damn movie.
Miss Saldana got to play to MANY corrections in JJ Abrams rebooted Trek, from being amazing at languages to having an actual life & love, to confidently turning down Kirk at every turn.
FUN FACT!! Both JJ and Bob Orci both expressed disappointed shock that the love story between Spock & Uhura got more hatred from fans than BLOWING UP PLANET VULCAN.
another FUN FACT!! The love story between Spock & Uhura is what grabbed the old school Star Wars fan (JJ Abrams) enough to come aboard to direct. Yep. JJ ships Spock & Uhura.
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Zoe's iteration became the 1st version of Uhura to speak confidently in Klingon
Celia Rose Gooding becoming Uhura brings around a lot of Uhura's qualities full circle, IMO. As she is also from theatre (like Nichelle) and has a beautiful singing voice as well as the charm. Zoe's iteration was sharper, and much more protective, professional, & mature, about her life and love.
Celia Rose has the youthful curiousity and stars in her eyes and had vulnerability from her first intro... I loved the eagerness the crew showed to being in her orbit, seeing the glow of her talent and being drawn to that, to have a part in nurturing that.
As I've said... Celia IMO has the most dazzling smile, giant warm brown eyes, fantastic curves, and an energy that feels essentially Uhura, & that is all light, joy, a bit of uncertainty, -from the light singing (!) and the growth to her joy in discovery... I'd love to see her writing move away from serving and be more about her wants needs and growing in friendships/loves.
But Celia is a gift and is perfectly cast.
Essentially Uhura = femininity, graceful carriage, gorgeous smile, excellence in engineering and translation (canon!), ability to sing and play the Vulcan lyre, sharp womanist wit, love for her U.S. of African-Kenyan culture and being beloved by all crew...
When Miss Celia hummed those gorgeous notes to the alien entity on that comet?? That Solidified that she IS Uhura IMO.
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I 100% think they fucked up by killing Hemmer, because that mentor-mentee relationship was giving marginalized coming together and bonding over everybody else's bullshit and I was here for it...it was giving me Data and Geordi updated...and since then, IMO they've lost track and given us the same kinda backwards wingwoman role BS, that people who like to pretend to be her fan shoehorn her into.
...but I have high hopes that they'll course-correct.
All this to say ALL OF THE ABOVE is Uhura and anyone calling her ugly, bossy, pushy, annoying, whatever is just sad little hater who doesn't know wtf they are talking about.
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mykoreanlove · 13 days
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⛽ 
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“Snugglepuss, can I lay on your stomach?”
Minho was cuddled next to you on the couch, safe and sound under the heavy blanket.
“Snugglepuss?”, you asked confused. “The hell is that?”
Minho’s eyes lit up, proud to explain the new nickname he got for you.
“Babe, that’s self-explanatory. Snuggle because we love to cuddle and be close and puss because… you know.”, he smirked naughtily.
“Oh my god!”, you erupted in laughter. “Don’t ever call me that again!”
“What? Why not?!”, he asked offended.
“I don’t know Min, it just sounds wrong.”
“You’ll get used to it, Snugglepuss. So, can I lay on your stomach?”
He looked at you with big, expectant eyes – wanting to claim his favorite body part of yours.
“No, sorry.”
You turned around and faced the TV again, focusing on the drama you were watching.
Minho furrowed his brows, feeling rejected and not understanding why.
“Why though? Let me lay on your stomach, y/n. Please?”
You weren’t one to deny him any requests, after all you were head over heels in love with him. His character, ever so ambivalent, made you fall for him instantly. His dark, ominous side he showed to the world paired with his kind, affectionate side reserved for his special ones lured you in instantly.
“I just don’t feel like it, Min.”
Each word coming out of your pretty mouth confused him even more. He had laid his head on you multiple times – what had changed?
“Don’t you like it anymore, y/n?”
The hurt in his voice pained you, but you couldn’t explain to him what was going on. Minho had spent half of the day in the kitchen, preparing a feast for the both of you. His cooking resembled his fucking – mouth-watering, tasty and exquisite. The two of you had been eating for five, totally immersed in the savory flavors and textures.
“I do. Just not now.”
You shuffled under the blanket, folding your hands over your stomach. Minho dropped the topic, for now. He kept observing you, taking in every detail like a cat.
Your hands on your stomach, like a protective barrier.
The rumbling of your stomach, silent yet detectable.
The unwell look on your face, stealing the peaceful expression he usually saw.
It didn’t take him long to figure out the real reason, much to your discomfort.
“Y/N”, he said sternly.
You turned around and faced him, serious eyes piercing through you.
“You don’t want my head on your tummy because we just ate, is that it?”
Your face turned white.
“Did you not tolerate the food?”
“Min, no. Your food was exceptional, really. It’s just..”
“Tell me. Now.”
You sighed defeated.
“My organs are just working and processing, I guess. I don’t want your head near my stomach as long as it’s not safe.”, you explained embarrassed.
Your boyfriend erupted in laughter, filling the whole room with his maniac laugh.
“You’re afraid of farting in front of me. I can’t believe it.”
You clasped your hands in front of your face, too embarrassed to face him.
“Y/N”, Minho grabbed your hands and freed your face jokingly.
“You know I think it’s cute.”
“What is?”
“You being afraid of farting, babe.”
“Oh my god, can you stop saying that. Min, please.”, you whined.
“Farting baby. Farts. Farty fart. My farting baby. Fart for me?”
“Okay, okay, okay!”, you hastily covered his mouth while he was laughing his ass off.
Minho grabbed your hands again and kissed your knuckles tenderly, looking into your ashamed eyes.
“I don’t want you to be ashamed because of normal bodily functions, y/n. You fart. You poop. That’s how digestion works, baby. I’d be more worried if you didn’t do any of those things.”
You flinched at his words, not really knowing why.
Who had told you to be ashamed of those things?
“And also”, he continued kissing your hands. “You have to overcome this habit because I want us to last. To last forever, actually.”
Your eyes widened in surprise; this was the first time you heard him verbalizing that.
“Were you doing it secretly all this time?”
Minho chuckled as he watched your reddened cheeks, confirming his theory.
“Let me guess, all those stomach aches were also because of this?”
You looked down, feeling ashamed of yourself.
“Oh, sweet baby”, Minho’s thumb glided over your jaw, making you look up at him.
“I don’t want you to hide parts of yourself. Not for me. I want you to be yourself. Always.”
Your hand reached for his, squeezing lightly.
You weren’t the best at verbalizing your emotions, but he always understood you by your body, deciphering you like a book.
“I love you, Min.”
His features softened even more, looking at you fondly.
“Prove it.”, he commanded.
“Ugh, fine”, you sighed annoyed and repositioned yourself on the couch, pointing to your stomach.
“Lay on Snugglepuss’ tummy, then.”
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pikahlua · 1 year
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Oh my goodness gracious me, more todoroki drama! What are your thoughts on this chapter from your translations?
I'll forever be heartbroken at the panel of the happy family minus shoto.
I don't have a ton to say. We got like one flashback and 10 seconds of story. But I do think a lot of people are sleeping on what's happening in this chapter. It's a chapter about the Todoroki family, particularly those who are NOT Enji, Shouto, or Touya (well okay, maybe a bit about Touya, too). No, I don't mean that Enji or Shouto are being excluded as some sort of message. I mean that the other characters also need their moments to further their own arcs.
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All the characters who expressed their regrets in the above scene are now showing up in chapter 388 to confront their demons (although I do think there is a translation or update issue regarding Rei's panel in this version of the page.) Note that Shouto had no regrets to express regarding Touya and was instead called "his family's hero" because of his desire to rescue all of them. Shouto has no place in this chapter specifically because it's about the family's regrets towards Touya.
So their actions in this chapter are meant to reflect each of their regrets.
Enji, who harmed his family, is now trying to protect them all and take all the damage unto himself.
Rei, who felt powerless in her situation and was repulsed by Enji and her children, takes responsibility and apologizes while actively pushing her way onto the battlefield to use her power to cool down Enji and Touya.
Fuyumi, who kept up appearances that things were fine even when she knew the family was falling apart, expresses her repressed thoughts and her desire for the family to actually be okay by begging for no one to leave (it's hard to capture the nuance of what she's saying literally in Japanese, something like "Don't not be here, don't go away.")
And Natsu, who regrets brushing off and not confronting Enji or Touya before it was too late, directly tells Touya to stop bothering everyone. (Now, the nuance here is probably dicier to explain, but essentially there is an implied note of selfishness being attached to Touya's actions, even if Touya's feelings are justified. This is a collectivist society sort of thing, but think back to when Katsuki mouths off to Fuyumi and Shouto for talking about sensitive subjects where those uninvolved can hear. Basically, Natsu is saying Touya should find a way to deal with his problems himself rather than making them problems for everyone else--and let's be real, Touya's currently threatening other people's lives because of his personal problems.)
The paradox is that Rei, Fuyumi, and Natsu are all expressing their honne, their true feelings. In Japan, to the rest of the world you are to present your tatemae, which is your polite mask or the character you are assigned to play in any situation (Fuyumi would have her teacher persona with her students, for instance). People are only supposed to express their honne to those very close to them, with the most common example being: their family. The Todoroki family has been forced to hide their true feelings over the years even from the rest of their family, and now they are finally getting to express everything they bottled up. So while it may feel like some of the things they say are cruel or selfish, this is actually meant to be a sign of love. They are in a situation where they feel comfortable enough with their family and even compelled by the dire circumstances to reveal their honne. Honne are SUPPOSED to be selfish and rude. To express one's honne is to express how close one is with the person who hears them. You can even see Dabi as Touya's tatemae, and the Touya we see in the panel at the end is his honne finally coming out.
And that's the crux of how I view this now infamous final panel. It's a reflection of the family coming together by expressing their regrets. It's a symbol of the people they could have been if only they could have dealt with these things in the first place. They are healing in this moment. They are healing as a family and as themselves. And now Shouto, who has already gone through that same process in the Sports Festival, is going to come in and be his family's hero once again.
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