#this is from an incorrect quotes thing and I could hear it so clearly in Lugnut's voice

[feyhunter78]

"You Know Other Men??"

So I based this off that one incorrect HOTD quote that goes:

Reader: "You are the most jealous man I know."

Aemond: "You know other men??"

You ran your hands through your hair, beyond frustrated, as you watched Aemond clean the blood from his sword. You had not been married for very long, but your courtship had been nearly a year, so you believed you understood Aemond’s moods quite well. Clearly you were mistaken.

“You seem upset, dear wife.” He remarked, glancing up at you, blood splattered across his face.

“Upset? Do I really?” You asked mockingly, your voice high-pitched and strained.

“Yes, you are doing that thing where you smile, but you are actually quite angry.” He said, a mischievous smile on his perfectly pink lips.

You want to strangle him, you want to kiss him, gods perhaps you would do both. “You did not have to kill Lord Edwin.”

Aemond raised an eyebrow. “You are my wife, it is my duty to defend your honor.”

“He was merely informing me that my skirt had been torn.” You protested; eyes wide in disbelief.

Aemond finished cleaning his sword and set it on a nearby table, turning fully to face you. “Why was he looking near your skirts at all? He was aware you were a married woman; his eyes should not linger below your chin.”

It’s maddening how good he looks covered in blood, and you have to restrain yourself from grabbing him and dragging him back to your shared chambers.

“He was being kind. Just like Sir Dorin, Lord Balter and that barkeep in Fleabottom, all were merely being kind.”

Aemond stepped closer to you, tilting your chin up with one finger. “Sir Dorin was clearly lusting after you, I caught Lord Balter pawing at your bodice, and that barkeep was intentionally trying to get you intoxicated so that he could have his vile ways with you.”

“Sir Dorin was assigned to protect me, Lord Balter was simply admiring my necklace, which he intended to purchase a duplicate of for his betrothed, and the barkeep was only giving me drinks because you were paying for them.” You counted off the explanations on your fingers, eyes fixed on Aemond.

His smoldering gaze was slowly chipping at your anger, and when his hand came up to grasp your waist, fingers splayed, your breathing picked up.

“I hear no reason for why they should have lived.” He said simply, dipping his head, his nose brushing along your cheek, voice low and vibrating through you.

“Aemond.” You sputtered, flabbergasted at the way he could so easily circumvent your words while smoothly disarming your anger with the barest touch.

“Y/N.” He purred, lips brushing against yours. “Do not be angry with me, sweet wife, I cannot help but be protective. You are so beautiful, and I know if you were married to another, I would stop at nothing to steal you away from him.”

Your face was hot, your resolve all but crumbling, as you felt yourself lean into his touch. “How far would you go for me, my love?”

Aemond’s hand gently cupped the back of your neck, lips against yours as he spoke. “I would kill for you, y/n, you know this. You have seen this.”

You toyed with the lapels of his coat. “But if I was not yours, what would you do?”

He meshed his lips fully with yours in a searing kiss, the hand on your waist like a vice grip, as he skillfully took you under the taste of mint on his tongue, so unique and so Aemond. Ever the man of duty, he was always presentable, always in perfect condition. Never did you find his appearance unpleasant, even now when he was covered in an innocent man’s blood, you craved his skin against yours, pushing yourself flush against him, uncaring if your dress got ruined.

“I would hunt you and your husband down, captivate you with my words and actions, take you to my chambers and make you see stars over and over until you forgot your wretched husband ever existed.” He said, pressing heated kisses to your skin.

“But I would still be married.” You reminded him.

“I would take you in front of your husband, let him see how his wife writhes on my cock, how she begs for the pleasure only I can give her.” He growled.

You whimpered at his words and squeezed your thighs together.

He smirked, his fingers caressing your clothed side, gently creating a confusing mix of emotions to bubble within you. “Then after you finished, babbling my name, too cockdrunk to form a proper sentence, I would make sure he saw as I seeded you. Make him watch as I ensure that my son takes root within you.”

“Yes,” you breathed out, hand fisted in his tunic. Your chest brushed against his as your breathing turned rapid, your pupils blown wide with lust.

“Then I would kill him, feed him to Vhagar and bring you home.” He finished, pressing a sweet kiss to your clavicle.

You blink in confusion as he pulls away, an unbothered expression on his face. “I think you are the most jealous man I know.” You said, hand still clinging to his tunic.

Aemond hummed lowly, his eye roaming your face. “You know other men?”

You rolled your eyes and playfully smacked his chest. “As if you did not know. Their blood is on your sword, dear husband.”

“Better their blood on my sword, then their hands upon your skin.” He responded, shrugging as he fought back a smile.

“You are insufferable.” You said, shrieking with laughter when he swept you into his arms and kissed you.

“And you are lovely.” He said, connecting your lips once more, you both smiling into the kiss.

Tag list: @nyctophilic0vitnir, @svtansdaddyx, @fan-goddess, @dc-marvel-girl96, @shintax-error, @bellameshipper, @the141bandicoot, @the-phantom-of-arda, @haydee5010

#aemond x reader #aemond x you #aemond x y/n #aemond x fem!reader #meg's writing #not a request just a thought i had #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #hotd fanfics #hotd #wife!reader #aemond targaryen fanfiction #prince aemond #aemond x female reader #I actually think this man is so funny #he's crazy but it's funny #also blood thirsty reader is my fav too #hotd fanfic #prince aemond x reader

[mixedstyles]

As Long as You Are - Part 3.5

LINKS: Part 3, Social Media Blurb, Masterlist

Author’s Note: This is a little interlude of Auden and y/n reading the message and what she replies with. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue writing to make it a Part 4 but @ethereallyd suggested that it would work as a 3.5 (gotta shout out the homies)

Pronouns Used: She/Her (use of y/n)

POV: Third Person. 

Warnings: swearing, probably incorrect music terminology, mediocre use of punctuation. NOT PROOFREAD

Word Count: 1319

It took all of y/n’s willpower not to look at the message before they got to her apartment which was around a 20 minute subway ride away. Every time y/n would look at her friend Auden would shake her head as if to tell her “not yet” and to wait to open the message. By the time the two of them flew into y/n’s apartment they were out of breath and laughing at the ridiculousness of two college students racing down the street. 

“Open it! Open it!” Auden chanted as she collapsed onto the floor.

“Okay, okay. I’m doing it now.” y/n’s hands were slightly shaking either from the cardio she got sprinting to her apartment or her waiting hours for his response.

“Read it out loud, I don’t want to have to look over your shoulder.” Auden said.

“Okay, it starts:

“So, this is a long message and I also got distracted. Hopefully you didn’t think I left you on read. Anyway, your question about how I went about researching is fairly simple to explain. I went down a Google and Spotify rabbit-hole figuring out which artists have a similar sound to yours. Not in a “wow these are just carbon copies” because there was literally no one I could find who had the same sound. Which is a good thing by the way.

 “I listened to the whole There’s Always Glimmer album multiple times throughout my investigation. I think I might officially be classified as a ‘fanboy’. But I digress.

“I saw you had done some work with Ed Tullett (who was a brand new artist to me) and I looked up what his music was classified as. Google said “indie, indie folk, and experimental” and you’re a bit of everything there. So I did a little more digging about how the concept of “experimental” is classified and it’s basically defined as: ‘any music or music or music genre that pushes the existing boundaries and genre definitions-”

“Dude, is he quoting his sources?” Auden cut in.

“Uh, I actually think he is. Now be quiet.” y/n said before continuing to read the message aloud.

“Which I might have overlooked if you hadn’t sent me a recording of the work in progress-”

“Hold up,” Auden said as she pushed the phone away from her friend's face. “You let Harry Styles listen to your current work but not me?” she asked, offended.

“Would it help if I told you that-”

“No.” Auden said, cutting off y/n mid sentence, “you can’t use that one again. You already used it today.” Y/n gave a sheepish smile to her friend, shrugging. “I’m expecting you to play the recording for me after we finish with this, now continue reading.”

“And it wasn’t indie or folk or a mix of the two. It was completely different. You used a lot of sound distortion, synthesizers, and experimental instrumentals. I’m not really sure how to properly explain it because it was only 30 seconds, but even within There’s Always Glimmer you can hear the start to your experimentation with varying tones. And I truly think that it’s a kind of sound that I haven’t heard in a long time. I suppose the only other album that gives a similar vibe in terms of experimentation you’ve touched upon is the 1976 album Mother Earth’s Plantasia by Mort Garson. But even then there are drastic differences.”

“My God,” Auden cut in as y/n took a breath, “he wrote you a whole novel.” She explained, pointing to the phone.

“He’s clearly trying to explain.” Y/n defended.

“Explain what, y/n? It’s like he’s trying to meet a word count on a school paper.”

“Auden!” Y/n exclaimed.

“What? He could have written you maybe a paragraph, not a full thesis paper.”

“Hmm, I don’t have a rebuttal for that. But we’re almost finished.”

“As a closing statement to this long winded TEDTalk, I want to ask a question, which you can say no to. I’ll be in New York June 16 for a concert and I would love to sit in on your creative process and I’m up for staying a couple extra days in New York. Would you be up for that? Only if you’ll have me. I know this is fairly last minute. So no pressure.”

“Oh my gosh. Did Harry just…” Auden trailed off.

“I think he did,” y/n said, finishing her friend’s thought. Y/n turned towards Auden, the phone in her hand forgotten, neither of them moved as they stared at each other in bewilderment. “Does this mean I’ve made it?” Y/n said, breaking the silence that had settled over the studio apartment.

“Are you kidding me!” Auden grabbed the phone that had fallen out of y/n’s hand and pointed to the message, “Harry Styles just sent you like a 400 word essay describing your music, said he’s a fan. No, scratch that,” Auden cut herself off, “he said ‘fanboy’ and then asked if he could visit you in the studio. Yeah, I think you’ve made it.”

“I genuinely do not know what to do now.”

“Well I do.” Y/n looked back up at Auden and waited for her to continue, “it’s time for us to freak the fuck out. We’ve been way too casual throughout this whole… thing. I don’t even know what to call it. Plus, it’s New York City, no one will care if we scream.”

The two of them took a solid 20 minutes to get their fangirl-era excitement out of their systems before drafting a response to Harry. Auden insisted on acting cool and casual but y/n wanted to make sure that he knew she wasn’t just saying yes because of who he was. It took an additional 10 minutes for them to reach the final draft. 

The discussion came to an end when y/n said, “y’know that I’m the one he’s messaging, right?”

—

Direct Message: harrystyles

oh my gosh, that was a long message but so thoughtful. thank you, truly. that meant a lot to me. especially coming from someone whose music i enjoy.  and yes, that would be awesome! i’m busy june 18th but i’m free the 19th and 20th.

Thank goodness, I was a bit worried that the massive message would come across as overwhelming. The 19th and 20th are perfect, just let me know what times work best for you. I’ll be on your time

you’d like to visit both days?

Oh, I’m so sorry, I misunderstood. Either one is fine.

no no no! no need for an apology. you’re more than welcome to come both days!

Awesome! I just don’t want to intrude or anything

not intruding! i’ll send you the address. you’ll also need to let me know when you get to the door because you need a keycard to get in on the weekends i typically arrive at the studio on sunday’s around 5-ish pm and then stay fairly late so feel free to drop by anytime after 5! and i teach on monday’s from 12-1:30 and then my friend and i typically grab lunch after. so maybe around 2:30 on monday?

Yeah, that sounds great! I’m excited to see the studio

oh, one other thing. i don’t mean to offend or anything but is it okay if i bring my best friend, auden? she’s normally with me anyway

No offense taken. And of course you can! I was planning on bringing Mitch too The besties can meet

oh no mitch is going to be there?

… yes? Would you rather him not?

i’m going to be honest, i’m a little more intimidated by him than you

Now that’s offensive

i’m sorry 😭 his musical talent is just incredibly impressive 

I’ve known him for years and I get it

that literally doesn’t help at all now i’m even more nervous

—

tag list: @theekyliepage @tati813 @reveriehs @thomaslefteyebrow @ethereallyd

#harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles imagine #Harry styles #Harry styles fic #Harry styles fluff #harry x reader #Harry styles x musician!reader #harry styles x student!reader #Harry’s house #Harry styles writing #fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #Harry styles x y/n #love on tour #Harry styles lot #harry styles masterlist #fanfic masterlist

[viterbofangirllovestheuntamed]

Yunmeng Sibling Trio Love Languages

(NB: This evaluation will follow the CQL/The Untamed canon, as that is the version that I am familiar with.)

To recap, the Five Love Languages are as follows:

- Words of Affirmation - Acts of Service - Gifts - Quality Time - Physical Touch

I believe that all three Yunmeng Siblings have a primary love language that is distinct from the others, but evaluation is hard because of the A++ parenting of Yu “Tiger Mom from Hell” Ziyuan and Jiang “Ancient Chinese Mr. Bennett” Fengmian throughout the trio’s formative years at Lotus “Dysfunction Junction” Pier but I’M DOING MY BEST OKAY??? ANyhoo, here are my conclusions which very well might be incorrect!

Jiang Yanli - Acts of Service

I’ll start off with the easy one; it’s fairly self-explanatory. Yanli demonstrates her affection and care by cooking for others. She peels lotus seeds for Wei Wuxian in the middle of a tense family dinner. She is ultimately convinced of Jin Zixuan’s love for her when he plants a lotus garden for her with his own hands. She never leaves the bedside of an ailing loved one. Even her heart-to-heart talks with her brothers are delivered, not bestowed as heartening words, or gifted like trinkets, or provided like time. They are a response to a NEED she sees. (I adore Yanli, but sometimes I feel as if she too displays a slight favoritism towards Wei Wuxian over Jiang Cheng, and that is totally understandable if she was strongly shaken by his neediness as a starving orphan and his shaky position within the family. Such things would render Wei Wuxian as in a greater need of service than her privileged-heir-to-the-clan brother.)

Jiang Cheng - Physical Touch

Our boy just might be THE most messed up of the siblings, though he’s in a tight race. (Yay for him coming in first, for once?) And it really could go a lot of ways for him! He is CLEARLY starved for positive reinforcement (words of affirmation), works hard for his loved ones and/or those under his care (acts of service), and resents the attention Wei Wuxian gets from the distant Jiang Fengmian (quality time).

However, I keep coming back to the line “his own father had held him less than five times in his entire life.” (Or whatever the exact wording is.) Most of us probably don’t remember how often a parent held us; many of us were no doubt more concerned with squirming OUT of our parents’ arms so that we could go play. But there are more hints to this being Jiang Cheng’s love language than one line- a line from the novel, when here I am saying that I’m drawing from CQL canon! 

To quote an earlier post of mine: Wei Wuxian is constantly draping himself over Jiang Cheng, shoving him with his shoulder, slinging an arm around him, even punching him and getting into physical scuffles. Jiang Cheng is constantly hearing his brother say “hey I love you hey I love you hey I love you!”, and with all of that unspoken evidence poured over him almost every waking moment of his life, the poison from his mother and the ice from his father just... doesn’t stick. Even when he’s frantic and beside himself with grief over his parents’ deaths, accusing Wei Wuxian of being the source of their misfortune, Jiang Cheng is still is grabbing him, shoving and shaking him, even choking him- still actively seeking physical touch to process his grief. It’s when Wei Wuxian starts to physically pull away and avoid physically engaging with Jiang Cheng (”What? You want to fight?!”) after the Core Transfer/Burial Mounds that Jiang Cheng starts to panic and doubt Wei Wuxian’s love for him, thinking that Wei Wuxian doesn’t give a fuck about him or their sect family anymore.

“But what about all the times he shoves Wei Wuxian away?” you ask. Well, even THAT is an indicator, thanks to Wang Zhuocheng’s stellar acting choices. Look closely the next time you watch; Jiang Cheng’s shove offs are less “don’t touch me” than “you don’t REALLY mean you love me, if you REALLY meant it you’d listen to me and/or not get me into trouble, don’t [love language] you love me if you don’t MEAN it...”

Despite near-constant threats, Jiang Cheng has never once lifted a hand against Jin Ling, because doing so to the person who is his sole reason for living would be a complete betrayal of how he loves. And of course, when Jiang Cheng hugs, he throws his entire body into it, clings like an octopus, and does. not. let. go.

Wei Wuxian - Words of Affirmation

This was the hardest one for me to decide, and I only did so when I came to the conclusion that our Problematic Fave actually only receives said affirmation when it is... wordless.

Bear with me here.

This is NOT the same thing as acts of service! Acts of service anticipates or responds to a NEED out of love. Words of affirmation are a message that one IS loved, is WORTHY of being loved. There is nothing that Wei Wuxian needs more of believes less than confirmation that he is loved. He has been admired often, as a prodigy often is, but that admiration is shallow and fickle. Madame Yu’s poisonous words not only tear him down, but her own son too... a son that resembles his mother so much that he shares that vice. Thankfully, Wei Wuxian learned early on that Jiang Cheng’s words are not how he communicates, and learned to read the message inside-- the message that screamed “I’m sorry” and “I didn’t mean it” and “I’m just scared for you” and “don’t abandon me.”  

If one alters this love language title as “Messages of Affirmation”, the issue becomes much clearer, I think. Wei Wuxian knows all too well that words are cheap and often cruel. He craves that affirmation, that validation and celebration of his existence and intrinsic worth, but is often unable to process his own love language through speech alone. This is why Lan Wangji’s stand with him on the stairs of Koi Tower moved him to tears; it wasn’t an act of service, but a declaration that Wei Wuxian was worth trouble and damaged reputations. And of course, That Scene post-resurrection when Wei Wuxian is nursing Emperor's Smile outside the Jingshi as it starts to snow, and he's spiraling down remembering all these bad things and how little has changed and how everyone still hates him... and the sound of a guqin playing their song starts from inside. That beautiful, BEAUTIFUL moment of Lan Wangji silently saying "I love you, I'M glad that you're here, I think you're worthwhile"... but with music, not with actual words.

It’s worth noting that Wei Wuxian DOES still use and value words from the people he loves. It’s why he so easily showers compliments, and why he counsels Jin Ling to actually say “I’m sorry” and “thank you.”

I think, to be honest, Jiang Fengmian’s last words to him had much deeper resonance than one might realize because of this love language. His Jiang-shushu favors and spoils and praises him endlessly for years... only to have his final words to Wei Wuxian be an order that prioritizes his biological children’s safety (a.k.a. worth) over Wei Wuxian’s. The lengths to which Wei Wuxian goes, his icepick-through-Jiang-Cheng’s-heart words of “I did it to repay my debt to the Jiang”, are all a an echo of Wei Wuxian’s fear that if he does not honor Jiang-shushu’s last words then he was never really loved in the first place...

Thoughts? Disagreements? Reply or @ me; I’d love to hear it! <3

#jiang cheng #jiang yanli #wei wuxian #love languages #the untamed #mdzs #cql #chen qing ling #mo dao zu shi #meta post #personality types #MOD'S STUFF #viterbofangirl WILL NOT SHUT UP #DYSFUNCTION JUNCTION #TIGER MOM FROM HELL #ANCIENT CHINESE MR BENNET #JIANG FUCKMAN

[grimacingheron]

Written using a prompt from one of @remvictory 's incorrect SDV quotes posts.

"Y/N: Why does everyone want to kill Harvey?

Shane: Because, goddamnit, have you seen him? His neck looks so snappable."

I made Y/N the farmer character I use for all of these and might've gotten off-track-ish, but I had fun.

This was also nice to use as a way to express unpleasant thoughts that you might just need to think out to get 'em to go away. They aren't bad. You're just curious. Don't fear your thoughts. :)

Shane is sitting in the waiting area practically glaring holes in the side of Harvey's face. He got here close to an hour ago, now and has done nothing, but stare. Harvey greeted him when he came in and Shane said hello back before he sat down. He isn't here for any sort of service, as the doctor has already asked(multiple times).

He's simply here to stare. It's quiet in the clinic and he will make the most of it. Which leads him to now.

During this one-sided staring contest, Shane's been thinking. A dangerous thing, some would consider it. Most of his thoughts are centered around the doctor himself and his practice. His thought process was more normal an hour ago, questions like: where'd he get his license? What's the worst thing he's treated? The weirdest thing? Who comes in for treatment the most often?

That last question he's able to immediately answer himself. 'The farmer, clearly. Even the Adventurer's Guild doesn't come in with as many scrapes and ailments as Hero.'

But, from the topic of Hero, he started thinking about bones. Does Harvey know how to set a bone? Probably. How often does he see a broken bone? Because of Hero, more than he used to. Has he ever broken a bone? Hard to imagine.

How much force does it take to break a bone?

Could Shane break someone's bones?

Could he break Harvey's bones?

Harvey has a very snappable looking neck.

Shane startles in his seat, head checking his surroundings as if someone could've heard his thoughts. To his immediate relief, it's still just him and the doctor in the clinic. His brows pull together.

It is such an odd-creepy- thought. He didn't mean to think of something so...disturbing.

The sound of the clinic's door chime cuts through the undeclared silence. 'Think of the farmer and they shall appear.' Hero walks into the waiting room with a smile on their face and each hand expertly juggling damagable gifts.

"Harvey, dear!" The doctor rises so abruptly from where he was crouched behind that counter that Shane swears he heard his spine crack. 'Is that what his neck would sound li-'

Clearly, the attention gets directed to him when he shakes his head only to look up and hear Hero gasp.

"Shane my beloved! So, this is where you've been." One of the farmer's hands is now freed; the jar of pickles now less-safely in Harvey's flusteredly unsteady hands. Their other item is a warm plate of pepper poppers. He can already taste the spiciness of the home-grown peppers. Feel their crunch through the cling film.

How similar is this crunch to a bone-

He audibly groans. Hero quickly takes a seat next to him.

"Do you not like the peppers?" They sound apologetic. How awful. "I can get you something else."

Shane set the plate on his lap and waves them off, "No, no. These are fine. Great. They're great," his following sigh is also great, "I'm just having, uh, unpleasant thoughts?"

Hero angles toward him and as if Harvey can sense the tone shift, turns his back to them and hums to himself, distracted, "What kind of thoughts, dear?"

Now, he's worried them. That's so much worse.

"Nothing like what your thinking, honest!" He taps his fingers on the side of the plate. With a glance, he sees Harvey's still distracting himself to give them some privacy and he knows Hero's one of the only people, if not the only person he's willing to talk to about things as personal as this.

Shane decides to share, but only after a put-upon sigh, "Goddamnit, okay, look," he quickly, and discreetly, points at the oblivious doctor, "look at him. His neck just looks so snappable."

The look of relief on the farmer's face is so swiftly replaced with laughable confusion.

"What?" They spare the counter a look, Harvey's back still to them, but he's looking a bit up at a shelf and his neck is on perfect display framed between his stark white collar and his dark hair, "Why does everyone want to kill Harvey?" Hero whispers, almost to themself.

The laughable confusion's now on his face.

"What'd'you mean 'everyone?'"

Hero shuts their mouth and shakes their head, refusing to answer and break the confidence of whoever else confided in them.

"Hero, what do you mean?"

Elsewhere, Sebastian sneezes.

#stardew fanfic #stardew valley #writing #sdv fanfic #stardew harvey #stardew shane #fanfiction writer #fanfic #Sometimes I feel bad for venting through these and then remember that that was the whole purpose of my posting on Tumblr

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

There is a encanto  incorrect quote and pepa and Felix go to their daughters first grade parent teacher conference and  Dolores’s teacher mentions a assignment that the class had to do and the teacher says that One of the pages Dolores wrote “ I hear my mommy and daddy wrestling every night I think my daddy is winning most of the time because the sounds mommy makes” and it’s a pic with. Dolores standing near her parents bedroom and A speech bubble with pepa saying AH~ and pepa and Felix are shocked and they ground her for a week so can you write a funny fic about it? ( I asked you too do it because you are very talented and you do it better than anyone I know).

Oh my god I KNOW the fucking tumblr- i ADORE it, let's do it, let's GO!

"I love how you have a box of tissues already at the table."

Félix chuckled as he sat down. Pepa gave him a light glare, signalling him to behave. It was their first ever parent teacher conference (at least from the parent's end), and Pepa was a bit more nervous than usual. It was why the room was just a TOUCH windy, forcing the teacher, Mrs. Sánchez, to put on her coat. She was a very understanding lady, never complaining about any of their powers.

"Well, tears happen often in my line of work. Now, I'd like to thank you both for coming, I know it's difficult to make it to things, what with how busy you tend to get."

Pepa gave a light shake of her head.

"Oh it's no trouble. Our daughter comes before any of that."

"That's wonderful to hear. Now, first things first. Your daughter is a DELIGHT to have in the class. She's very smart, and once she's comfortable, she plays nicely with the other children. Genuinely, she's a treat to have in the class."

"Shit, better than me. I was a menace at her age. But with a mother like this, it's no wonder she ended up so wonderful."

The teacher ended up having to take off her jacket as Félix kissed Pepa's hand, making sun and rainbows pop up over her head.

"She has very loving parents. That's uh, actually why I wanted to talk to you both today. You see, we had a project about history. And we thought it'd be cute, to have the kids draw something about someone they look up to in the family. Dolores chose to draw about you two-oh I have an umbrella here."

She gave Pepa the umbrella as soon as she started to tear up. Could she help it? No! Her little baby looked up to them? Oh it was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard! Mrs. Sánchez dug through her desk as Félix tried to ease his wife, just a bit.

"Easy mami, easy. We haven't even seen it yet! How cute is it?"

Pepa didn't know what to expect. But certainly not this. On a piece of paper, Dolores had written 'I hear my mommy and daddy wrestling every night. I think my daddy is winning most of the time, because of the noises mommy makes'. It was paired with a drawing of Dolores by her parent's bedroom, clearly snooping. She even put a text bubble by the door. A simple 'AH!' That spoke more than she herself possibly could. The cold came back again, and Pepa sat there, aghast and in disbelief. And what was Félix doing? Trying not to fucking laugh.

"Oh my god. Oh my fucking god-"

"Félix if I hear ONE chuckle out of you."

"I'm not laughing! I'm f-fine. In my defense though I do win a lot-"

"FÉLIX."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

Félix was practically shaking from how badly he wanted to laugh. Of COURSE he'd think this was funny. Of fucking course he would. Pepa offered her an apologetic smile.

"Lo siento, Dolores has REALLY been putting her gift to use. She's very nosey, you understand."

"I get it. But it made things...awkward. I had my assistant hang up the drawings in the hallway, and he didn't look at them beforehand so. The children had many questions. One even asked if Félix was a pro wrestler."

"I'm so sorry- can I just step out for a second?"

"Go ahead."

Félix stepped out of the room, and as soon as he shut the door, he just. LAUGHED. Pepa took a deep breath, trying SO hard to keep her temper in check.

"Do you know any single parents?"

"A few. Why?"

"After today, I'm making myself a fucking widow."

Mrs.Sánchez chuckled, before reaching over to hold Pepa's hands.

"Pepa, relax for a minute here. I know this must be embarrassing, but we just have to go forward from here. I'm just asking you remind her to not be so nosey. It's been a bit, problematic. She's also blackmailing a teacher."

"Oh god, is it you?"

"No no, thankfully not. It's a male teacher. Dolores heard he was having an affair, and now she sort of uses it to get whatever she wants."

Pepa felt her grip onto the woman's hand as Félix continued to laugh outside.

"How does she know what that word is?!"

"She doesn't. She just knows when she says it, he lets her have extra recess and no homework."

Oh she needed to pray extra hard tonight, so her ass can hope she DOESN'T pop a vein somewhere.

"I am. SO embarrassed, really."

"I wouldn't be. She's still my favorite kid, and I LOVE her dearly. And I've dealt with magic kids before, don't forget I teach Isabela. And she's no saint either, let me tell you."

That made Pepa feel a BIT better, at least. Mrs.Sánchez pulled her hands away as Félix came in, clearly having had a good laugh.

"Okay, I'm back, it's out of my system. Now we'll have a talk with Dolores. She's a SMART girl, and I feel like she's sort of using it as an excuse to snoop."

"That's all I ask. And don't worry, I'll let her make another drawing for the wall tomorrow, so she's not left out."

"Gracias. Really, we appreciate it."

They shared a hand shake before they walked outside, to where Dolores was sitting at the playground, reading her book. She of course, heard her parents coming, and put her book away.

"Mami, papi!"

Félix dove in for a hug, only to be stopped by Pepa. Dolores immediately shrunk, knowing she was in trouble.

"Uh oh. Is it uh, about the teacher?"

"It's about you snooping, young lady. You're SO grounded, at least for a week."

Félix leaned in a bit to his wife, shrugging.

"Uh, HOW do we ground her?"

Pepa had put her in timeout before, but she couldn't be in the corner for a whole week. She thought about it for a second, fumbling.

"Er...no playing outside."

"Okay, me and papi can get more music practice then!"

"No music."

"Hey, Pepa, we are NOT taking away father daughter time, I put my foot down there."

They shared a glare between each other, and Pepa relented, seeing just how serious he was.

"Okay, fine. Er, no reading books."

"I need to for a book report."

"Uh, okay. No...no reading for fun!"

Félix raised a brow at her, and she couldn't blame him.

"No reading for fun. Seriously?"

"Until I think of something better! Now come on, time to go home."

Dolores shrugged as she grabbed onto Félix's hand, damn near skipping.

"Can I work on my doodle when we get home?"

"Of course you can, mija."

Pepa sighed. She'd figure out how to punish her. Eventually.

#asks #not transformers #encanto #suggestive ish #it was so hard to punish a kid like dolores #and the no reading for fun was actually a punishment i had as a kid #listen Dolores is sweet but in no way was that child innocent #it didn't help that Félix found it hard to punish her #and eventually Pepa found it hard to punish Camilo

[trenchcoatsbi]

1)i've realized that the snippets the chatfic have incorrect quotes vibes. i might submit them to a generator for the funsies

2) I'm still Not Normal about Racer but hey let's talk about Spot for a bit.

So when I first stumbled upon the Brooklyn newsies, I didn't actually know who Spot was for like a month. It was only after I decided to tag along with whoever I had been following that day all the way back to wherever the larger group stayed, and I saw everybody (most of which were pretty rambunctious and not willing to back down for anything) give full control and respect to Spot. who was the smallest person in the room.

Seriously why was he so short. I genuinely thought his nickname was because he was short for like a year.

Anyways, I ended up gaining my first street name because guess who was an idiot and stole something from Spot? yeah me. Idk why I thought that was a smart move.

Thankfully Spot noticed that I was a thin and pale child who's voice was weirdly shaky (I had anxiety 👍 (i cannot shake it in any life)) and was NOT wearing proper fall clothes because I was stubborn. Because of this he decided not to bash my head in, especially after learning that I had been giving the newsies some extra cash because I could. He ended up taking me under his wing and taught me some skills and tips in case I'd ever end up on the streets. which you know, I did. technically by my own choice but still.

I think I spent around 3~ years as a member of the brooklyn newsies. I wasn't buying my own papes to sell, but some of the guys got a few extras and handed them off to me, with the agreement that I'd give them half the profits to help cover the extra cost. During this time Spot had a bit of a soft spot for me, first simply because I was an easy source of extra cash, and then later on because I was clearly a kid who needed a bit of freedom and affection from somebody who saw me as Magpie, not Alex.

I never said it to his face, but I always did see Spot as a older sibling figure. He was really nice, and although I couldn't hold my own against a 1v1 fight, but he taught me how to defend myself and to use a weapon in tandem with my parkour skills to maximize my damage to somebody attacking me.

I do remember that some time after the strike, Racer's gambling ring got big enough to warrant a building to hold seminightly hang outs. This was all because after the strike and the rally with all the newsies coming to hear us out, some new friendships were made and Racer got so so many more opportunities to earn money. Anyways, during these meetings, me, Racer, and Spot were seen as the kings of the ring. Spot because he scared literally everybody, Racer because he was the one in charge, and me because Those Two. That's my brother and my could-have-been-boyfriend - Voidling Anon

i dont think im familiar with this source but that sounds so cool!! spot sounds like such a lovely fella :D

i always love older sibling/younger sibling type of relationships, even if theyre not like actually blood related siblings and its just a found family type of thing (actually that almost makes it better sometimes /hj)

also love the ring kings hehe ill doodle yall sometime if you want!

ty for sharing voidling <3

#boo posts #voidling anon

[omi-papus]

Ok this is a really specific.... thing of mine??? Like ok. Why is the PDA still in this game? Ok I mean I get WHY, storage, logs, blueprints, information, warnings ect. OBVIOUSLY.

Buy like. Here's the thing. You know how sometimes it's a bit of a theme for players to start going a little crazy in the first game. This is where the whole, holding a Hoverfish and talking to it phenomenon comes in. Some people play audio logs on repeat to sort of hear people talk in a game where there's no one. What I did, is that I got unreasonably attached to the PDA. It was the only sound I understood and trusted at the beginning of the game, and I felt so good when it said some whatever programmed in, tone-deaf inspirational quote. The entire "scans suggest swimming was your favorite activity" bit will forever be iconic. I thanked it every time it gave me a warning, and it was just this feeling of, I'd rather listen to an unfeeling unaware, slightly better version of Siri than put up with this loneliness.

Now Below zero.

Robin talks to herself externally from the player. Which I mean, it makes it seem like SHE is going a little crazy, but it separates the player from that feeling themselves. (I know some people hate this, and I did too the first time, but I digress) You have detailed voice logs from the beginning of the game, and most important of all. A whole ass guy available to you 24/7 wherever you go.

Siri is a lot less enticing when I have better options.

And I don't mean this in just the way, that I'd rather have the PDA not talk. Especially since unlike the first game, where the PDA is obviously just not programmed for the situation and unironically says morbid, incorrect or even soul crushing shit like It's nothing, making it hilarious, in Below zero it feels like they actually wrote jokes directly into the PDA. It calling coffee "dirty bean water" was so fucking forced I was tempted to @ someone about it on Twitter. And I don't just mean It's now just not as good as in the first game. I also mean it in the way that in almost every way, having a fully functional PDA detracts from the story. I spent a decent chunk of this game trying to do shit to get a reaction out of Al-An. (Btw I will forever be pissed that you can make a toilet in this game and Al-An makes exactly zero comments about it, and I can't laugh as I torture the alien with the knowledge of poop. Is this because Robin is a woman or something?? Let me harass the alien, damit!) And nothing annoyed me as much as expecting Al-An to say something and being left with the PDA saying something right out of a brand tweet. But more important than anything. It undermines the characters beyond belief. Robin especially. Like ok, in the first game you're just some guy, lord knows what your job was but you're definitely not someone who knows a whole lot about Alien fish. So I'm fine with the scanner just inexplicably giving you names, behavior and biological info on animals and plants that are supposedly undiscovered. Like whatever. But please tell me, how a Xenobiologist, or any biologist for that matter still has a job when this thing exists. Now you could make a point out of it, like they did with that doctor in the first game that realized he was completely useless because he only ever let robots do the job. But it's never really brought up how it just does her job for her. Like sure, going in to scan certain things takes a lot of guts, and that's clearly the type of vibe Robin is supposed to give off. That sort of Steve Erwin attitude of "Im gonna poke it with a stick", but it still just feels wrong. And it doesn't explain why spy penglings were ever needed if scanners can even determine an animal's level of intelligence in one go.

But ok I've been going in circles to get to my idea. So, what I would do, is have the PDA be broken. Either during the crash into the planet, or have Robin actively mess it up to avoid tracking from Alterra. So it's still used for storage, you can still keep scanned blueprints, and it still keeps track of all the info. The changes are exactly three. It doesn't talk, no matter what. It doesn't give you warnings or even display your hunger, thirst or even oxygen levels (Put a pin in that it's not that bad I swear), and there's a point made like" I have a scanner, oh... but it can't connect with the alterra database, it can only tell me some things about this animal... I have to figure the rest out myself." Bonus points if Robin is actually nervous about this prospect, realizing she's never researched with no outside sources before. Still brave and ready, but not acting like it's piece of cake or like she's not a little scared of her lives expertise being tested like this.

Functionally, it would work exactly the same. No gameplay changes here. The only things changed would be the writing and dialog. Fauna and flora scans would now be phrased as if written by Robin herself. "Ok, so the scan says this species has a high amount of CO2 in its body, in the same area as its waste passes through. Looking at it, those transparent pouches on its top and bottom are the only places with enough space to hold it. The scans don't detect any way for waste to leave the body, so could it just recycle its urine into clean water to use again like some species in places with sparse drinking water do? It's kind of gross, but I think I could get drinkable water out of that." Something like that.

And with the oxygen, hunger, cold and thirst, who would know better than the good helpful pal literally inside your body? Yep, that's right, Al-An would replace the PDAs survival system completely. He tells you if you're hungry or cold or need to breathe, because he can see into your brain cells or something.

This would mean that for the first bit of the game you would be left to just guess and or memorize what you need until you find Al-An. Maybe have Robin say something here and there. Like, "Ok, I can hold my breath for 45 seconds and I should eat every 30 minutes on average. Gotta remember that". But that would also add a layer to the game. Of the sort of morally gray kind. Do you really want Al-An out of your head? He wants to have autonomy again. But wouldn't you like to keep him around until you find the truth about your sister? Would make things a whole lot easier. He doesn't have to know you're stalling. And creating a two-sided situation where both characters hide information thinking they've got the other one under control would be really fun. Especially with Al-An also hiding information from Robin to make sure she doesn't decide to not make him a body because she thinks he's dangerous. And it would be adorable in the end for both to find out their mistrust was completely unwarranted. They'd both be like, "Wtf of course I would have helped you, you're my friend and I'd do anything for you. You thought I would just leave you to suffer like that?" Al-An could mod the PDA or something at that point idk.

#Fuck I missed text posts why did I ever think twitter was a good idea #subnautica below zero #subnautica #robin x alan #robin ayou #al-an

[blade-liger-4ever]

In accordance with @gritsandbrits’ permission, I now present to you...

G.I. JOE INCORRECT QUOTES!!!!

(Also, I censored the swears. Sorry, I don’t believe in using vulgarities to be funny.)

----

Steeler: What's worse than a heartbreak?

Spell-Lunky: Stepping on a cat's tail and not being able to explain that you're sorry.

----

Law, about Steeler: He’s speaking some kind of French.

Spell-Lunky: Let me handle it. I speak Spanish. It's the same thing.

----

Steeler: HEY HEY HEY! DON’T TOUCH THOSE!

Law, touching a figurine: Why? What’s wrong with touching a doll?

Steeler: THAT IS NOT A DOLL! This is a figurine, thank you very much.

Spell-Lunky, from afar: IT’S JUST A STIFF DOLL!

Law: FIGURINE MY BUTT! IT’S JUST A STIFF DOLL— as said!

Steeler: I hate all of you. That is a limited edition figurine I got from a conventio— Steeler: *Drops figurine on the ground*

Steeler: —n. It was $100; all my money just went down the drain.

----

Genevieve Colton: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Duke: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks, I don't want to hear squat.

----

Duke: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Genevieve Colton: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Duke: ...

Duke: You mean ring bearER, right?

Genevieve Colton: ...

Duke: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

----

Genevieve Colton: Duke is playing hard to get.

Genevieve Colton: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

----

Gung-Ho: What are you getting Siren Call for the holidays?

Tunnel Rat: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Nitelite: I'm getting Siren Call a divorce lawyer.

----

Nitelite: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Ripcord: Um...Neat.

*later*

Ripcord, lying face down on his bed: I said "Neat," Siren Call. Who says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm stupid.

Siren Call, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Ripcord. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Tunnel Rat confessed his love for me?

Ripcord: Didn't you thank him?

Siren Call: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I stupidly thanked him.

----

Nitelite: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Tunnel Rat: *blushing* I—

Gung-Ho, butting into the conversation: Siren Call is perfect, thanks for asking.

(I am now suddenly shipping Gung-Ho and Siren Call XD)

----

Storm Shadow: I think I'm falling for you.

Risa: Then get up.

----

Storm Shadow: Hey, Risa, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Risa: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Storm Shadow: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Risa: Can't really say I have.

Storm Shadow: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring sometimes.

Risa: Sorry, Storm Shadow. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

(Man, this generator is savage...)

----

Risa: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Storm Shadow: I wrote you a poem.

Risa, already crying: You did?

----

Storm Shadow: I’ve been dropping her the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Risa: Wow. She sounds stupid.

Storm Shadow: But she’s not. She’s really smart actually. Just dense.

Risa: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Storm Shadow: I guess you’re right. Hey Risa, I love you.

Risa: See! Just say that!

Storm Shadow: Holy *Japanese swearing*.

Risa: If that flies over her head then, sorry Storm Shadow, but she's too dumb for you.

Storm Shadow: Risa.

----

(They use ASL for these next few)

Silent Knight: How high are you?

Snake Eyes: Mm, I don’t know how to say it in feet.

Spirit: No, she’s asking what drugs are you on.

Snake Eyes: Oh, antidepressants, why?

----

Snake Eyes: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare.

Spirit: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great.

Snake Eyes: Not when you’re playing with Silent Knight, it’s not. She puts in words like “ephemeral” and I put in “dog.”

----

Silent Knight: Which way did Snake Eyes go?

Spirit: Well, based on the direction of the wind, the broken sticks in the corner, and the slight disturbance in the dirt, I'd guess he went left.

Silent Knight: You could really figure it out from that?

Spirit: No, you idiot, Snake Eyes sent me a text. See?

----

Roadblock: Guys, Shawnee is missing.

Heavy Duty: Good.

----

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*

Heavy Duty: How do you eat pickles?

Roadblock: What do you mean?

Heavy Duty: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.

Roadblock: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.

Heavy Duty: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.

Roadblock: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.

Heavy Duty: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.

Roadblock: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.

Heavy Duty: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.

Roadblock: *Nods in agreement*

Shawnee: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!

Heavy Duty: Sheesh, okay.

Roadblock: Quit yelling at us already.

----

Store Worker: Would a “Heavy Duty” please come to the front desk?

Heavy Duty, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Shawnee and Roadblock: I believe they belong to you?

Shawnee and Roadblock, simultaneously: We got lost.

Heavy Duty: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

----

And that’s all for now! We’ll see what I can scrounge up - another day!

#gi joe #gi joe duke #gi joe snake eyes #gi joe gung ho #gi joe roadblock #gi joe tunnel rat #gi joe steeler #gi joe ripcord #gi joe heavy duty #gi joe storm shadow #gi joe law and order

[foxfairy06]

Ollie here again. does really matter whether i point that out so whatever. u said you weren't rude and then called me a pissbaby so, And the "saying super homophobic shit" I'm aro/ace myself nor do i believe legit anything of what i said that was homophobic, u will not believe me. i do not care.

You diagnosis a "brief" examination

I myself am diagnosed and that was the way i was diagnosed myself, i explained another version which I myself was also diagnosed under, as you can see we cannot relate with how we were diagnosed, so this is proving my point that how you have gotten diagnosed is not a universal thing so you can now see why i was skeptical, because even with telehealth if you don't have insurance, it still costs money. which this also depends on where you live, because in America they do not care about free healthcare. and from the places that i understand that do give free healthcare like Canada if your a birthed citizen , and like Australia or smth, How you got diagnosed is not universal, it depends where you live and what hospital you go to ect.

hypocrisy: the examination.

You clearly weren't understanding the meaning of what this word is so i will put it here along with the example i previously stated. from the Merriam-Webster "a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings" you say you support Trans ppl but if they don't meet your criteria of what YOU think a trans person should be you, exclude them. your reply was also not related to the point i was attempting to make, "It's not hypocrisy to provide a safe space for a group and exclude people" You should have worded that better with the point you were attempting to make, Ill use a similar example to one a friend told me "i joined a adhd club and they kicked me out because i wasn't "adhd enough" Its what you are doing and its hypocrisy, you are telling people "yep i support trans people but oh if you don't have a diagnosis something that sometimes cost quite a bit of money, you aren't valid and you aren't transgender because i say so", not a exact quote but you should get the idea.

I was incorrect: a analysis.

I will say i was incorrect about rad meds and trans meds. "If you would actually interact with trans meds instead of foaming at the mouth and screaming in all caps whenever you see one you would know that."

Sorry that i don't wanna associate with someone who's harming the transgender community and states that the multiple years of my transition aren't real because i wasn't diagnosed, and that I've basically only been a actual trans man as of recent because i got my diagnosis within the last 6 months. so all of that experience i've had was just me being a tomboy..

Do you hear how that sounds crazy, that everything i learned in all those years, I've labeled myself as trans is now just me being a tomboy woman who was just struggling with their mental health and how their body looked ect. ect. that's saying that my entire transition was just me pretending to be a man. that's so heartbreaking knowing that some trans people in my own community didn't see me as a man because i didn't have a diagnosis. but maybe you got a diagnosis before you started transitioning so you might not even know how that feels, but what do i know right?

You arent a poor child: a small examination

Yes i did look into this, now if you mean the term like poor as in lack of dollars maybe, that could be the cause and I'm not going to discriminate against that.

You could have meant poor as in "woe of me" type of way.

But you aren't a child. your in college , as u stated on your Youtube video, which is public, and i will ask you to please ask non trans meds about the information in your videos because me and my inclusionist friends definitely saw false things in your "lgbt 101" episodes, which you say are based of your opinion and how there are others that exist but you never actually go over those opinions and let a watcher think about which one they believe themselves.

And harassment in America means: " It is commonly understood as behavior that demeans, humiliates, and intimidates a person,"

I haven't attempted to lower you statue in the trans med community and i do not care to do so.

I did attempt to humble you, but the information that i believed was to be correct was false and you instead humbled me so, its whatever.

and i will say i took the screenshots incase you did delete anything or attempt to spread a false narrative, but i did not have any mean to actually use the photos against you in any way. as i said in this message which you have most likely seen "its possible they are sending screenshots of not the whole story so i have the whole thing", saying "gathering stuff on the owner" was false and i do not care enough about you, which u could say "oh you do, you've sent me 2 asks and talked to me on discord" being blind sighted by rage is a interesting thing. i cared about making a impact, because i was angry.

You told me i needed to get help, some people can not afford to get a therapist, i don't want a therapist that i wont feel comfortable with and have been taking my time searching for one that will fit me. I'm glad that you are able to get the therapy and help you need for little to nothing but i able unable to do so.

-ollie,

I'm still annoyed but I'm not angry so.

hopefully this is enough for you.

> you said you weren't rude and then called me a pissbaby

Because i wasn't rude in the chat. I wasn't rude to you, until you were rude to me. See how that works?

> I'm aro/ace myself, nor do i believe the things i said, not that you'd know that though

I know you were trolling. However you thought the best thing to do was harass a server that is open and accepting of asexuals and run by several asexuals was to pretend like you avidly oppose asexuals, and make homophobic claims you do not believe in because you wanted to hurt people. And we're the group that's harmful? Right.

> the way i got diagnosed is different from the way you gotten diagnosed, so you can see it's not a universal thing, blah blah blah.

I live in america. In a red state. I have zero insurance. I have not spent nor will I spend a single cent and yet i am being diagnosed in two appointments, one in person and one over the phone. I am not using telehealth. I also have an entire server full of diagnosed people. Some have been diagnosed for no additional costs to the physical medical services they attended to in the ER, physician visits, PBH, ect. So don't give me that. It is not difficult to get a diagnosis if you attempt to do so.

> your example of why you aren't a hipocrite isn't true because i had a better one, and adhd club that kicks people out with adhd for not being ADHD enough.

That isn't what this is. Ths isn't a "trans enough." Debate. This is a "trans at all" debate. Only trans people.

> your belief that you must be diagnosed

I never said you must be diagnosed not has any common transmed ever said that. It's a strictly radmed thing. We believe you must have reportable or "diagnosable" dysphoria. Which includes persistent euphoria in most cases because euphoria is caused by dysphoria.

> sorry i don't want to spend time with people who told me my years of transition aren't real because i wasn't diagnosed

I can't confirm this isn't true but my other mods have seen your account and know that you are likely a minor so imma take that with a grain of salt. I highly doubt transmeds have been telling you your transition isn't real because you weren't diagnosed. A, because transmeds are quiet irl. B, because there is only a very small portion who believe you need to carry a diagnosis to be trans. C because if you're willing to cry and scream to get your way you're willing to lie too. I used to be like you, I've played this game.

> you aren't a poor child

I never said i was? That was a comparison. You must be either dim or completely unable to read context clues to come to the conclusion that i made that claim-

> Which you stated in your YouTube video

Lemme get this straight, you are so pissed, so mentally unstable that not only did you troll my server, send super long messages to the mods, and send THREE 3 (•••) super long asks, but you also stalked my YouTube channel and got pissy over there? Jesus man. Get your issues under control.

> Your LGBT 101 series was wrong and you should have used inclusionist points blah blah blah

I used to be an inclusionist. I know that stuff is incorrect. Not only this, but if anyone wants to know the inclusionist set of beliefs i have an breakdown of that on my Discourse Academy series that breaks inclusionist and exclusionist beliefs down. I stated in the beginning that my beliefs are not everyone's. If they want to see other people's beliefs they can literally go to every other lgbt education channel. Which are almost all explicitly inclusionist.

> behavior that demeans, humiliates, or intimidates a person

• demeans

- name calling, personal attacks, homophobia, transphobia, acephobia

• humiliates

- name calling, personal attacks against members

• intimidates

- horrible statements that all of us associate with actual conservatives who have harmed us in the past. Which you would not do to other LGBT people if you had experienced because you would know what that feels like.

>I do not care... ...I cared because I was making an impact and was angry

You did not make an impact, you looked like a screaming monkey to everyone else involved.

You clearly did care because you send THREE (3) {•••} Novel long asks, which i know because you referenced the radmed one, you looked through my entire YouTube channel, send novel long messages to all of the mods for muting you for saying fucked shit, and you went out of your way to troll because you can't get your shit in order.

You are being a hypocrite by making this statement as you directly contradict yourself in literally the next sentence.

> you told me to get some help but I can't do that before I can't afford it

If you can't afford therapy than maybe you should think before doing something that clearly shows you need therapy. You can always check into an ER and they can send you to a mental hospital. Normally medicaid covers those.

This is not a brag. This is you displaying your complete lack of self control, and obsessive behavior, as well as a lack of anger management. You need to see a therapist. I promise you there are places in your area that do it for free or very cheap. If you don't want to go to a therapist you don't like, have you considered you don't like the therapist because they're breaking down your bad behavior?

Ps. I know you're angry because no calm or rational person sends an anonymous ask this long

Everyone else... This little guy is such a riot huh? It's hilarious honestly, I'm gonna see if he left any mean comments on my YouTube videos.

#exclusionist #gravity knife gay #anti inclusionist #anti inclus #battleaxe bi #longsword lesbian #exclus #transmed #transmed safe #esai lgbt #pro transmedicalist #pro truscum #truscum safe #anti mogai #anti terf #anti xenogender

[metawatts]

Thanks for answering my question. That is regrettable to hear even though GL was still my favorite part of the movie. I guess it's kind of on brand because even the things I do like in RWBY are mired in terrible writing decisions. Out of curiosity what are your opinion on how much of the fandom seems to unironically this incarnation JC even going as far as making semi joking comments about how they wish they could have her stay since he was the only good part of the crossover?

I'll be entirely honest, and this is not aimed towards you because you've been great, but my opinion of the hardcore stans side of fndm is one that I never think can get lower, and then they all pull out the shovels and prove me wrong. However, that doesn't mean I don't understand where they come from on the tamer stuff (compared to some of the other fndm drama Jessica Cruz's whole Thing is tame and I think that reflects more on how bad the fndm drama can get then on her being whitewashed and woobified).

Like, I get why people like Jessica, it's a Character Type that's very popular with fans, it's the sort that fits perfectly into text post memes and incorrect quote jokes, she's now The Cute Scaredy-Cat, The Innocent Babey, #Protecc, which is a character type rwby hasn't really had as a single character on their own. (the 'broader flattening of characters in some media to be gif bait/incorrect quote fuel' issue looms faintly in the distance)

I mean, character-wise, everyone else in the JL is broadly heroic and inoffensively bland 90% of the time (aside from Bruce and Diana, who are so wildly OOC that it made my blood pressure spike), so having Jessica as the Quirky Silly really made her stand out, even if I think that rwby's favourite style of 'quirky silly humour where the characters move like twitchy cardboard cutouts and we have silly sound effects' is both lazy, awkward, often mistimed, and poorly-handled.

It clearly goes down well with devoted fans, for some reason I'll never understand, so I get why they would have clung onto Jessica in that way, and without being aware of just how badly they neutered her broader characterisation, she does have the most moments written with, well, intent to evoke emotion, aside from Jaune. Her anxiety monologue would ring true with people who have similar experiences, and her voice actress was really trying with what she was given.

Also, Jaune is beloved in the fndm, again for reasons I will not understand because while I like Jaune I do think he's a 'works best in smaller doses' character and also the fndm just. cannot characterise him in a likable way, so having the Quirky Shy One paired up with Fandom Fav really would make her endearing to people.

So, yeah. I get where it all comes from, I really do, and, again, I'm not gonna hate someone for finding joy in something I don't unless they're like, being bad about it, but that doesn't mean I think the same, that's all. The fndm can do what it wants, I don't have to like it, but I'm gonna stay in my lane and reserve the right to judge quietly.

#asks #mod watts #fndm-meta

[thewiglesswonder]

#this is from an incorrect quotes thing and I could hear it so clearly in Lugnut's voice #tf #tfa #transformers animated #transformers #maccadam #lugnut #lugnut tfa #blitzwing #blitzwing tfa

[flying-nightwing]

Lettuce Leave

Hi. So this is semi crack. Actually it's more of a giant incorrect quote from a movie that I absolutely adore, and for me it's positively hilarious so here I go, applying one of the funniest thing in cinematographic history to the batfam. I basically own no intellectual property to this, not even the title lmao.

A/N: It's from the same universe as Lesson learned. Same batsis (Nightshade)

Enjoy!

Characters: Tim Drake, batsis!reader (Nightshade)

Word count: 2387

Warnings: Unvoluntary intake of (soft) drugs, casual talk of (soft) drugs, lots of swearing, Bruce losing it but it's funny.

Summary: You and Tim give Bruce an aneurysm and a hilarious story to recount, according to Selina (He doesn't think it's as funny, though)

“Well cover me in jam and tie me to an anthill. Red Robin, come check this out”

Tim jogged down the stairs, pausing at the top of the second to last step. It took him a moment to realize what he was looking at, but when it clicked, he let out a low whistle.

“Wow, that’s a lot of weed”

Batman had sent you and Tim recon an old house on the outskirts of Gotham, one that had been flagged for being a potential hideout for Two Faces’ cronies. According to Bruce’s intel from Gordon, there had been suspicious in and outs during the middle of the night and barely any activity during the day. The windows had been recently boarded up and one passer by even noticed a black van being backed up in an old shed. He had specifically instructed you to monitor from outside and to report back to him before sunrise, but with you being you and Tim being Tim, it hadn’t taken much convincing on either part to sneak in the house and personally advance the case for Gordon.

All the conditions were there for an in depth visit from you, and clearly, it had been warranted.

You had made a beeline for the basement, because you knew if any illicit activity was happening there, it would have been hidden underground. However, the carefully set greenhouse and multiple rows of cannabis plants had been a surprise.

“This must be worth thousands in resale value” You mumbled to yourself, then frowned. “I didn’t know Two Faces was into selling grass. That’s a bit beneath him, don’t you think?”

“No, no I think you’re right” He nodded along, but his eyebrows were scrunched. “Take notes on this set up, I’ll check upstairs if I can find anything. Leave your comm open”

You turned on the device in your ear and carefully advanced into the plantation, snapping shots with your mask. You could faintly hear Tim run upstairs as you delicately threaded around the green leaves and hot lamps providing artificial lightning for the plants. Quite obviously, a lot of time, money and attention had been put into the care of the plantation, so there must have been a steady rotation of personnel to tend to the garden, which meant plant experts must have been contracted at one point or another to achieve such healthy crops.

The name Poison Ivy immediately jumped to your mind.

But weed? It seemed a bit basic for her usual theatrics. Still, you couldn’t rule her out, as she was your primary culprit as of now.

“I’m thinkin’ Ivy” You hummed. “Those plants are too pretty to be from some rando”

“Yeah well, hold that thought” Tim’s voice sounded grim and pinched in your ear, even despite the screeching from the bad connection. “I just found three guys that say otherwise”

Your feet paused, anchoring themselves onto the ground. “Wait, there are still people inside? Do you need back up?”

“We could say that, but considering they’ve been dead for at least a couple of hours now, I don’t think they’ll attack me anytime soon” He replied. “But I’ve never seen this type of kill before. It’s not Ivy, it’s not Two Faces, I don’t even think it’s the Joker. Hold on, I’m sending you a visual”

You opened the device strapped on your arm and checked the picture Tim had sent you. The three guys were all tied together in a circle, their throat slit and wrists bound with a very specific knot. But what stood out the most was the gold plastic crown on each of their heads that seemed like they had been dug into the skin of their skulls.

“Oh jeez-a-doodle” You grimaced. “What did these poor sons of bitches do to end up like edgy burger king?”

“I swear if we end up in an actual fast food war I’m quitting”

“Red Robin–”

“Don’t you dare–”

“YUM”

You laughed, turning around to resume your course. It abruptly stopped however when you heard the faintest click. You froze, trying to locate its source until you found a little green light beeping frantically. Your eyes widened.

“Red Robin”

“Not as funny the second time, Nightshade”

“No, Red Robin!” You yelled, then ducked in instinct. The beeping stopped, plunging the basement in a short lived ominous silence. “Get out of here NOW”

As if on cue, a loud explosion went off above you, sending a blast that would have cooked you well done if you hadn’t been crouching. Still, you could feel the intense heat scorching the air above you as it set the plants on fire.

“Shade, are you okay?” Tim yelled in your ear. “What the hell was that?”

“Something not good” You grunted as the smoke began filling the basement. You tried to stand up, but decided against it when you realized the last breathable air was hugging the ground. You began crawling towards the exit, cursing yourself for not having taken more seriously bruce’s stupid bootcamps. “Get outta here, I’m right behind you”

“I need to get those bodies out”

“Are you crazy?” You shrieked, then coughed loudly. “They’re dead. Leave ‘em be!”

“Oh and you think we won’t be when this place burns down with all the evidence inside?” He shouted back. “If we don’t salvage anything we won’t be any better than those motherfuckers. B will have our heads”

You swore under your breath and coughed again. “I hate that you’re right. Fine, I’m coming up to help you, hold on”

The stairs seemed way farther than they were from the ground, and the temperature was steadily rising in the room. You tried to cover your nose with your arm the best you could and picked up the pace, soom reaching the elevation in the concrete under you. You rose back to your feet and hurried up the stairs, shutting the wooden door behind you and locking it. It wouldn’t make much of a difference in the end, but maybe it would buy you a few minutes.

You joined Tim on the second floor, noticing how smoke had already begun filling the house. You then rushed to the three corpses, trying to undo the intricate knot on your brother’s other side, but it just wouldn’t come loose. Now you had to deal with a god damn boy scout as if this situation wasn’t already absurd enough.

You heard an explosion and felt the structure underneath you weaken with a groan.

With a quick glance to the mess in front of you and your combined lack of progress, you stood up and studied the bodies closely, then took a quick look around you for anything else that stood out. “Alright, enough, let’s go”

“No, I’m almost done, I can–”

“Tim” You called his name, and he looked up in surprise. You didn’t miss his wobbling as he straightened up. “Enough”

He coughed, then nodded. You grabbed his wrist and made your way to the staircase, where flames had already begun licking the walls. You tried to take a deep breath as much as you could and protected your face, then barged through the flames with Tim hot on your heels. Another explosion sent you forward as you crossed the front door’s threshold, making you stumble in your already less than gracious exit.

You ended up panting outside beside Tim, hunched over with your hands on your knees, taking in as much fresh air in your lungs as you could. You were both covered in soot and your suits were showing some surface burns, but you were fine otherwise. You looked at each other, then back at the burning house, where a third and rather large explosion blew up the windows.

Your glances slowly met again, then as if on cue, you began laughing.

An uncontrollable and seemingly unstoppable giggle overtook the both of you, and the more you looked at each other laughing, the more it made you laugh. Everything seemed so ridiculous at that moment, and all you could think about was how all of that weed downstairs was now in your lungs.

“Tim, Tim” You tried to say through your giggles. “I think we’re high”

He wheezed, barely any sound coming out of his mouth. He pulled down his mask and wiped the tears from his eyes, then coughed so hard he stumbled. That was enough to send you in hysterics again, leaning on each other for support. You spent at least five minutes trying to calm down, and by the time you could breathe again, the sun was already coming up on the horizon.

“B’s gonna kill us” His shoulders were still shaking. His speech, as well as yours you noted, had been considerably slowed down. “Oooooooh my cheeks hurt”

“Do you–” Why was this the funniest situation you had been in? “Do you think he’d believe us if we said we just smoked a fat one?”

He held eye contact for a few seconds, dead serious. “Not a chance”

That was all it took to set you off again.

—

Your return home was still hazy in your mind, but all you knew was that you and Tim were still laughing, but it was now quieted down to a little giggle that lingered behind. You were now faced with a very displeased Bruce, whose glare was stronger than any brute force he was capable of. Yet, it was still hilarious to you, and to Tim apparently as well considering his shaking shoulders. You were biting your lower lip to control the urge to laugh out loud and piss Bruce even more, even though you really wanted to. His anger was the funniest thing to you at the moment.

“What the hell were you thinking”

There we go.

“I thought I had been crystal clear when I told you it was recon only” His voice raised a notch, anger slipping even more into it when you and Tim exchanged a look, trying not to escalate your giggles. “Not only did you go against my direct order to stay out of the house, but you burned it down to a crisp. All that remains of all the evidence now can be fit into a fucking ziplock. Do you find this even remotely normal?”

“We did send you pictures of inside the house–”

“Pictures aren’t enough, Timothy!” He yelled, pushing off the computer desk. “Countless hours of case building are now gone in ashes, literally. We’ll have to pick up what’s left of it with a spoon. We are taken is disadvantage against Two Faces now–”

“Not Two Faces, pretty sure of it–”

“DON’T INTERRUPT ME”

You stifled a laugh while Tim covered his with a cough. Bruce seemed about to start again, but you slowly raised your hand. His thunderous glare then set on you, as if daring you to say something out of line.

“Actually B, it’s my fault” You began, sending a quick glance to your brother. “I thought… I saw someone inside in distress”

Tim nodded while Bruce took a deep breath, rming himself with patience.

“You thought you saw someone,” Bruce repeated. “You thought or were you sure?”

“There was someone” You nodded along Tim, who kept his nodding motion. “But not the one I thought… He was in distress… But not today”

A look of utter confusion set on top of Bruce’s deep frown. “Then when was he in distress?”

You shrugged slowly.

That was enough to make him lose the little bit of cool he had accumulated in those last minutes. “I am very disappointed in both of you right now. How did you even let this happen?”

You could have heard a pin drop in the cave. Tim didn’t want to try an answer, so you volunteered yourself. “With regards to the situation, I think there are some… Some… Things. That we need to, um… What was the question again?”

“Fucking hell” He muttered to himself, then returned his eyes on you. “You are lucky I found you before the police showed up. What do you think would have happened if they, or worse, the press had found Nightshade and Red Robin high out of their minds beside a burning crime scene?”

“Depends on whether they brought food” Tim replied.

You tried to push back your grin. “Red Robin”

“YUM!”

“No!”

Your laughter picked up ten folds at how Tim and Bruce had answered at the same time, giggling until you couldn’t breathe while B looked down at the both of you with something akin to discouragement.

His shoulders rose and tightened, and his voice suddenly seemed lower and more menacing. That was enough to slow down your fit of giggles. For now. “Both of you. Go to sleep now and don’t come down here until you’re fully sober. Once you can think clearly again, you will give me a full report of what happened and you will face consequences for your actions. Do I make myself clear?”

Tim slowly leaned closer to you, trying to be as subtle as he could. “That’s not good, right?”

You shook your head.

“GO!”

Tim raised his hands in surrender and backed away, then tripped on his own feet and fell on his butt. You stared at him, then blinked slowly.

Bruce let out a long sigh. “Would you help him up?”

You flattened your lips and lifted a finger, then nodded and held out your hand to Tim. You then made your way out of the cave, and up to your bedroom where you crashed like a rock.

Three feet beside your bed.

—

That afternoon, you happened to walk down the stairs and wander into the kitchen, where Tim was already drinking orange juice and eating a plain bagel. You came in and grabbed a banana, then took a seat beside him at the counter. You didn’t talk yet, you just ate in miserable, hangover silence.

“We’re really in trouble this time uh?”

You nodded, empty staring straight in front of you. “Yup”

“You think he’s still down there waiting for us?”

Your eyes trailed off to him, meeting his tired, reddened glance that was already on you.

“Oh yeah”

“... Should we just rip off the bandaid and go?”

“Let’s face our death like heroes”

“Alright”

“Alright”

-------------

Excerpt of the movie in question (in French canadian/english)

#Tim Drake #Tim Drake x reader #batsis reader #batfam x reader #batfam fic

[katzkinder]

long Incorrect quote based on Avatar the last airbender

(I imagine this being like - before Sakuya reveals that he’s a subclass but Sakuya already knows Mahiru has formed a contract with Sloth so he seems grumpier than usual - Mahiru, Sakuya, Koyuki, and Ryusei having a video game night or something at Mahiru’s… and there’s an argument)

Mahiru: Don’t you walk away from me when I’m talking to you!

Sakuya: Oh really ‘Mom’?! Or what are you going to do? Send me to my room?

Mahiru: I wish I could.

Sakuya: Well you can’t! Because you’re not my mom and you’re not their mom!

*Sakuya points towards the table at Ryusei and Koyuki in the middle of eating their pizza (Uncle Toru was getting a soda or something from the fridge when everything started so he’s just awkwardly frozen behind them)

Mahiru: I never said I was!

Sakuya: No, but you certainly act like it. You think it’s your job to boss everyone around but it’s not! You’re just a regular kid like the rest of us. So stop acting like you can tell me what to do! I can do whatever I want!

Mahiru: …

Mahiru: I don’t act that way. Kuro! Do I act motherly!?

Kuro(what everyone else hears from Kuro): Meow.

Kuro(what Mahiru heard Kuro say in his head): Hey, I’m staying outta this one.

Mahiru: What do you think Koyuki? Do I act like a mom?

Koyuki: well, I…

Mahiru: STOP rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk!

*Koyuki immediately sits up straight in fear*

Koyuki: Yes ma’am!

—————————————————————

*Toru walks over to a pouting Sakuya*

Toru: Come on. We need to talk.

Sakuya: tsk

*they go somewhere private, out on the balcony and shutting the sliding door behind them; unaware Mahiru was in his bedroom, sitting on his bed frustrated; and coincidentally Mahiru’s window was open to let a cool breeze in… he could hear them on the balcony*

Sakuya: So, let me guess. You brought me out here to tell me your nephew is not as annoying as I make him out to be?

Toru: Nah, he’s pretty much a pain.

Mahiru: …

Toru: He’s always gotta be right about everything; and he gets all bossy and involved and in your business.

Sakuya: Yeah! I don’t know how you can deal with it!

Toru: Actually… in a way, I rely on it.

Sakuya: I don’t understand.

Toru: When my sister died, that was the hardest time in my life. Our family was a mess. But Mahiru? He had so much strength. He stepped up, and took on so much responsibility. He helped fill the void that was left by his mom.

Sakuya: …I guess I never thought about that.

Toru: I’m gonna tell you something crazy. I never told anyone this before… but, honestly? I’m not sure I can remember what my mother looked like. It really seems like my whole life, my sister was the one looking out for me. She’d always been the one that was ‘There’. And now, when I try to remember my sister, Mahiru’s is the only face I can picture.

Sakuya: The truth is… sometimes Mahiru does act motherly; but that’s not always a bad thing. He’s compassionate and kind and he actually cares about me; y’know… the real me… that’s more than my own mom.

*brief comfortable silence*

*Sakuya realizes what he just said to his best friend’s uncle, a lead agent of C3, and starts to go into spastic panic embarrassment stutter mode*

Sakuya: *panic pleading* Don’t ever tell him I said any of this!

*Toru chuckles with a genuine Shirota smile*

Toru: Hey, my lips are sealed.

(both are unaware Mahiru heard the entire conversation)

(and later that night, Sakuya is the first to head home… he casts a memory spell on the Shirota apartment so that Toru, Mahiru, Koyuki, Ryusei, and Kuro would all forget the argument and Toru would forget that heart to heart… but Sakuya would remember it… and little did he know, after Mahiru finds out the truth about Sakuya… he would eventually remember what he heard from the balcony, through that open window)

hhhhHHHHH this ask inadvertently touched on something about Sakuya's character that I haven't seen talked about much before (it might have been hashed to death long before i entered the fandom so forgive me if i'm just repeating things other people have already gone over kjdgdhf) and man anon, thank you for this cuz i laughed and then i cried LMAO

and uh, basically? it's about Sakuya's aversion to conflict and his TERRIBLE methods of dealing with that jkfghfdjg

Like he had ONE big argument with Mahiru and he tries to either get Mahiru to kill him OR recreate his own death??? My guy, my lettuce, i love you, seek help.

But then there's also Mahiru's willingness to overlook GLARING breaches of his privacy and violations of himself as a person because... Sakuya's his friend? Because he's lonely?

They're both... Very selfish people, I think. Their relationship is inherently based on fucked up mind nonsense and I don't know if Mahiru realizes just how messed up that is. The weird part? I think Sakuya does.

But he was also very desperate for a friend, for companionship, for that sense of belonging he saw with Mahiru, Ryuusei, and Koyuki. It doesn't make it right by any means. But it does make it more... Sympathetic? Of why he did things the way he did.

I'd love for them to sit down and talk about all those things. For Sakuya to have the horrifying realization that Mahiru doesn't consider what he did that bad. For Misono to help Mahiru recognize and process those things as someone who went through a similar situation and came out the other side forgiving and still loving the person who did it to him.

Mahiru and Sakuya are a pair of deeply injured people whose pain fits together almost perfectly so that they are both each other's ultimate support and own worst enablers. It has the potential to be very toxic, but it isn't because they just... Care about each other too much, and have other people who care about them too much to let it get to that point.

I really think Misono is going to be vital to their relationship going forward. I mean, why wouldn't he be? He's a child of love.

And there's no denying that Mahiru and Sakuya love each other to death.

#kat's katerwauling #servamp #asks #anonymous #thanks for the ask nonny!! #servamp incorrect quotes #sakumahi

[no-reply95]

I was scrolling through the Beatles topic on Twitter the other day and came across a tweet from Mark Lewisohn referring to a talk he’d given to the Fab4cast podcast on the Get Back sessions and Spring period of 1969. I assumed that it was a recent talk so I gave it a listen but the talk is actually from 2019.

I tend to find Lewisohn’s podcast interviews to be very interesting. He’s obviously got decades worth of Beatle knowledge stored up so you’re almost guaranteed to learn something new or hear an anecdote that you’ve never heard before but more than the factoids he’s accumulated over the years I find his interpretations of the band extremely telling.

The part of the conversation that really caught my attention was when the podcast hosts brought up the fact that John and Paul’s weddings were really close together and wondered if the two events were connected in any way, I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that this probably got the biggest reaction out of Lewisohn, the main points of the exchange are outlined below (time stamp 47:12)

Host: “Well also in this period there are two events, the marriages of John and Paul, within 8 days of each other… I read that John wanted to marry on the 14th, two days after Paul’s wedding but couldn’t do it because of legal issues, how much was his [marriage] a response to Paul’s marriage do you think?”

Lewisohn: “I’ve read that people say that it was but never heard John say that it was so there’s no validity to those claims they’re just people assuming that John didn’t want to be outdone by Paul… that’s the kind of writing that annoys me because it becomes part of the fact and it’s some writer thinking that’s what it probably was… Unless someone out there can find a Lennon quote in which he actually says it in which case I stand corrected and I’ll be very happy to do so”

There’s a lot going on in these quotes so I’m gonna break down my thoughts on this further:

The illusion of John’s honesty

What Lewisohn displays here is something I believe is pretty common within the Beatles’ authorship. I believe in Revolution In The Head Ian McDonald referred to John as “truth” and Paul as “beauty” and I think a lot of writers do tend to assign those attributes consistently to John and Paul. Reading (or listening) to the Lennon Remembers interview now, it’s hard to believe at one stage people took what John was saying as fact and never even questioned whether there were emotions or agenda behind what he was saying, despite the contradictions (“Me and Paul stopped writing together in 1962” vs “Me and Paul worked really closely together on Sgt. Pepper”) and because John was so charismatic and would speak openly in interviews and to people he knew about both the good and bad in his life I think people, and in this case Lewisohn, assume that John told us everything of note that happened in his life, which I don’t think is a realistic expectation of anyone, let alone someone as famous as John. I think it’s problematic to take John’s or anyone else’s words, especially when they’re said in public, as the gospel truth because everyone has an agenda and John was no different. I also think it’s unrealistic to believe that John would ever announce that the reason he and Yoko got married when they did was in any way connected to Paul, that would have sullied the sanctity of “John and Yoko TM”, I mean, how can you be the greatest love story ever if the reason you decided to get married was because your musical partner who you may have unresolved romantic feelings for got married? I don’t think John would publicly embarrass Yoko like that or risk undermining the strength of the brand he was trying to create with his new relationship by admitting that Paul’s marriage spurred them on. That Lewisohn is apparently holding out for a lost interview of John stating that Paul was involved in the timing of his marriage to Yoko just sounds pretty far fetched to me.

The timing of John’s wedding in relation to his and Yoko’s divorces

As discussed in this podcast, Paul and Linda got married (pretty unexpectedly I believe) on 12 March 1969 and John and Yoko got married 8 days later (and apparently they wanted it to be sooner) on 20 March 1969. Aside from the extremely close proximity of John and Paul’s weddings it should be noted that John’s divorce from Cynthia was finalised in November 1968 and Yoko’s from Tony Cox was finalised in January 1969.

So why am I bringing up John and Yoko’s divorces? Because it meant that they were free to marry each other from January 1969, there was no longer a legal issue preventing them and if John’s bursting out in song about it, you would assume that they would have started planning their wedding ASAP… but curiously they didn’t. How do we know John and Yoko weren’t planning a wedding before Paul married Linda? Because once Paul was married John and Yoko started scrambling to get married ASAP, suddenly there was a rush and need to be married that hadn’t existed before, John suddenly wanted to marry Yoko on a ferry but they couldn’t be married there, then John wanted to marry Yoko in Paris but they needed to be resident in Paris for a period of time before they could get married there so eventually they settled on Gibraltar as they could get married there at short notice. Clearly there was a sudden need for John and Yoko to get married that didn’t materialise until around March 1969, am I and countless other people (including Paul himself) crazy for assuming that Paul’s wedding impacted John’s sudden desperate need to be married? If it wasn’t Paul’s wedding, what was it?

Authorial interpretation and assumptions

I’m really fascinated by the visceral reaction Lewisohn had to just the suggestion that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s. For Lewisohn to state it annoys him was pretty shocking to me because, given what is publicly known about this period and the lack of any other logical reason for John and Yoko’s wedding to be so close to Paul’s and Linda’s, I don’t think it’s bad writing to point out the proximity and suggest that the timing was more than a coincidence.

Based on his reaction, you would assume that Lewisohn would be set against any form of interpretation where the principal in question hadn’t confirmed that the interpretation was in fact correct but that would be an incorrect assumption to make. Some of you may be aware of the Hornsey Road shows Mark Lewisohn was giving in 2019 around the 50th anniversary of Abbey Road. During these shows Lewisohn played a clip from the, now infamous, 4-4-4-2 meeting tape and gave a presentation on the Abbey Road period in the Beatles’ history. One of the points Lewisohn raised during the show was that during the sessions, after the car accident in Scotland, a bed was brought into the studio for Yoko so she (and sometimes John) could rest while work on the album progressed. According to Lewisohn, one morning they turned up to the studio and someone had removed one of the legs from the bed, leaving it with 3 legs *dramatic pause* which was him heavily hinting that he thought Paul broke Yoko’s bed on purpose and then bragged about it on the Ram album by including a song called 3 legs, I’m not going to go into the validity (or lack thereof) of this claim but I find it very interesting that Lewisohn was annoyed about authors suggesting that the timing of John and Yoko’s wedding was connected to Paul and Linda’s but he seems happy to publicly speculate that Paul was sabotaging Yoko’s bed in the studio based on the title of a song that he would release on Ram two years later and nothing else.

Is there any evidence that connects John’s wedding to Paul’s?

I’ve already outlined the suspiciousness of John and Yoko choosing to get married right after Paul, when they had been free to marry for weeks prior but is there any other evidence that either proves that the weddings were connected or is Lewisohn right to deem that suggestion as lacking in validity?

Interestingly there actually is unverified eyewitness testimony that does connect John and Paul’s weddings (something not mentioned by Lewisohn in this podcast). I believe there’s an anecdote from Les Anthony (John’s chauffeur at the time) about him driving John and Yoko around when news of Paul’s wedding suddenly came across the radio, to which John apparently said to Yoko that “we have to get married now”… I couldn’t track down the exact source for that story (if anyone knows the source please let me know) so I’m not sure how credible that anecdote is but, assuming it is accurate, then that would suggest a correlation between John and Paul’s weddings that Lewisohn is adamant doesn’t exist.

Why does this matter?

I do think that this podcast interview could be indicative of a few future concerns I personally have around the way the Beatles discourse will progress in the future. Firstly, this was only a podcast interview so it’s unlikely that when Lewisohn releases the final book in his trilogy that he’ll discuss the weddings in this manner (I.e. although he’s adamant the timing of John’s wedding had nothing to with Paul he failed to offer any sort of explanation regarding why John and Yoko were rushing to get married when they’d had weeks to prepare a wedding).

It’s a slight worry that Lewisohn seems to believe that John announced every single thing that happened in his life of note, especially concerning Paul and Yoko. If John had told us everything of interest about him, surely his Dakota diaries would be the basis of a Netflix series by now and not locked away in a vault (assuming they haven’t already been destroyed). To me, like several authors before him, Lewisohn seems to be mistaking John’s emotional honesty with factual honesty. It didn’t escape my attention that several clips of the Lennon Remembers interview were inserted into this podcast and Lewisohn quotes extensively from it in Tune In as well. There’s nothing wrong with using Lennon Remembers as a source but if you do use it you should be analysing the veracity of what was said as we know that John was in a torched earth mentality at that time and even he himself has said what he said in that interview wasn’t meant as a timeless manifesto. It’s a shame that given his ability of analyse sources Lewisohn has never (to my knowledge) critically analysed Lennon Remembers, given that other sources have been analysed this makes LR a strange omission.

Finally, Lewisohn does tend to make some good insights and does have the ability to read between the lines (I.e. him noting Paul’s tendency to say “we” when in most cases he means himself) but with John I do think he has a bit of a blindspot. Why Lewisohn is happy to speculate without evidence in some cases (3 legs) but he draws the line at the suggestion that John and Paul’s weddings being connected is anyone’s guess. If Lewisohn can turn his attention to reading between the lines with John and the other Beatles too and connecting the dots then we should get a Beatles biography that finally addresses a lot of the issues we cover on this site. However, if we take the approach of only using John and Yoko’s PR to understand the events that transpired before and after the band broke up then the story hasn’t moved much further than 1970 and given all that we know now I think that would be a huge shame.

#the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #john and paul #mark lewisohn #paul and linda #john and yoko #double wedding #beatles podcasts #given Lewisohn’:s status it’s crucial he doesn’t just dismiss things he doesn’t like as invalid #interpretation is fine as long as it’s correct #i have other podcast thoughts on a separate show #thoughts #long post

[lilacs-fandom-garden]

Incorrect Quotes 3

Sorry for not updating in a while, anyway, Merry Christmas! Heres Incorrect Quotes 3! 

Ships: 

Crossmare

Errorink

Dustberry

Scifell

Horrorlust

Driller/Kreme

Afterdeath

Fandom: Undertale AU’s

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Blue: I'd like to address Ink's annoying personal habits.

Ink: Oh my God! What personal habits?

Blue: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

Ink: And for punching me in the face?

Dream: No, you definitely deserved that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!

Blue: I really don't think you were the target audience for that costume.

Lust: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Blue: I made tea.

Ink: I don't want tea.

Blue: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ink: Then why are you telling me?

Blue: It's a conversation starter.

Ink: That's a lousy conversation starter.

Blue: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Am I cool or what?

Geno: What.

Ink: I said, am I cool or-

Geno: Yeah, I heard you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: You go big or you go home. And you don’t seem like the kind of person that goes home.

Cross: I’m not. I don’t even really have a home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Those pants look great, and I bet they’d look even better on Horror’s floor.

Horror: Are you hitting on Lust... for me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I've lied to every girl I said "I love you" to. I thought I loved them but then I met you and realized I've never been in love before.

Dream: Aw. I did not know that.

Killer: Yeah, it was eating me up inside. So, I called them each individually and said "I never loved you."

Dream: Okay, that seems unnecessary.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Blue: We're going mattress shopping.

Dust: You know, once we get it, we'll have to break it in.

Blue: Oh, I hear what you're saying. Mattress trampoline.

Dust:

Blue: Wait, no. You were talking about sex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Blue: Uh oh.

Fell: What?

Blue: Somebody's in love.

Fell: Yeah, right. I just think Sci’s cool. It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about him.

Fell, later that night: shit.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Dream: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch him on his birthday.

Blue: I think Dream has a point. You can see it another day.

Ink: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Error's birthday for me. Surprise, he's even older. Who saw that coming?

Dream: Aww, that's nice. Put that on his cake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: We're lost.

Horror: Lost? As in "where the hell are we?"

Dust: We're not totally lost. We're still in Waterfall.

Killer: You said this was a shortcut.

Dust: It is a shortcut! Look how fast we got lost!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Before I do anything, I ask myself, would Dust do that? And if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Cross: Nightmare, I typed up your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says you may have network connectivity problems.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: I would have been here sooner but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: How do you keep your pants up when battling? Its incredible!

 Error:

 Error: belt. 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Nightmare!! Theres an ugly monster under my bed!

Killer (who is on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed): Alright. Screw you too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: You took so long in the shower!

Ink: Yeah sorry, I was at a concert.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Holy crap, you’re so violent-

Error: Yeah, but i'm short so it's adorable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: I scared them again didn’t I?

Cross: They’re terrified of you-

Nightmare: 

Nightmare: That makes me so happy! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Error?

Error: What?

Ink: You kicked me in your sleep!

Error: ….who said I was asleep?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror: Why would you give Dust a knife?! 

Killer: He felt unsafe.

Horror: Well now I feel unsafe!

Killer: …...would you like a knife as-well?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Okay, lets stop using the term ‘butt-hurt’. We are adults not 12 year olds.

Cross: You sound fannytroubled.

Ink: A little bootybothered if you asked me.

Dust: Someones having a tushytantrum

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SONS?!

Nightmare: OH GOD HORROR!

Nightmare: THAT MOTHERS ADRENALINE IS KICKING IN-

Nightmare: DUST!

Nightmare: I CAN SEE EVERY EQUATION!!

Nightmare: Excuse me ma’am?! Have you seen my sons?! They’re about this tall- all clearly gay but we havent had the talk.

Nightmare: KILLER ARE YOU IN THERE?!

Nightmare: *kicks down trash can violently*

Error: 

Error: Cross control your boyfriend jesus-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy some quotes from Disney/Nickelodeon Shows!: (I uh- also added some cusswords lol-)  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I'M PREGNANT- 

Killer: You’re not pregnant! 

Horror: Wait- who’s pregnant?! 

Dust: ME!

Horror: Congratulations! 

Killer: He’s not pregnant!

Dust: Easy Killz! I’m with child-!

Killer: You’re not with child!

Horror: I’m gonna be an uncle!!!

Killer: YOU’RE NOT GONNA BE AN UNCLE!

Horror: Then who’s gonna teach the little guy how to ride a bike?!

Error: Calm down Dust! You’re not pregnant.

Dust: Then why am I so moody and nauseous?! 

Dust: I think it's the morning sickness!

Error: ...Dust…

Error: you’re a boy. 

Dust: ...oh yeah-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Sorry, but the convertants of air streams coming from the vents are creating a dangerous draft on the guest chair. 

Blue: Alright...but if I catch a cold and start coughing and sneezing uncontrollably it will be on you. LITERALLY-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Ink! Geno! Please..! Violence is never the solution-  

Blue: *gets hit in the face by a pillow and falls down*

Blue: HECK WITH THE NON-VIOLENCE..! I AM ON YOU LIKE STRIPES ON A TIGER-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Killer: *snoring on the couch*

Nightmare: Awww- he fell asleep mid clean! I’ll wake him.

Nightmare: KILLER!!!!

Killer: AHH! *sprays cleaning spray on Nightmare’s face* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Who took all my scarfs?! I need them for tomorrow--

Dust swinging on a rope made out of cross’s scarfs: *doing a tarzan yell and crashing into the kitchen*

Dust coming out of the kitchen with spoons forks and knifes on him: Now that was awesome!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sci: Well...I brought a book you could read-

Ink: NOOOOOOOOO- *runs away*

Sci: Too easy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: I'm a hugger!!!!

Dust: I'M A HUGGIE-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I did not see that coming.

Killer: *gets smacked in the arm by a drone* OW!

Nightmare: Apparently you don't see a lot of things coming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Horror: ...what's that?

A random stranger: It's lasagna… and it's for a Christmas Party I’m going to.

Horror: We could have a party right now-!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: What are you all getting Nightmare for his birthday?

Killer: A slightly used lip balm. 

Dust: A free hug. 

Error: My profound admiration. 

Horror: *picks up salt shaker* This salt shaker.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: Oh, this is my chum bucket! I’m going to catch a giant squid and tame it! 

Dream: ...you’re a weird kid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: Now all we have to do is wait for the guests to show up!

Lust:

Blue: 

Lust: Oh...we forgot to invite people….

Blue: Yup, sure did-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: Its not like anybody died…!

Dream: We haven't seen the rest of the tape…..

Nightmare: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: IS THAT A TATTOO?! 

Killer while rubbing Dust’s arm: COME OFF COME OFF COME OFF!!!

Dust: Hey! The only thing coming off is my arm! 

Killer: What am I going to tell Nightmare?! Oh….oh! I got it! We’ll just cut off your arm!

Cross: Good idea! Because that's easier to explain then a tattoo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Horror and Dust: *battling with pool noodles*

Blue laying on the ground: HALT!

Horror and Dust: …?

Blue: Does anyone have a pillow? This ground is really hard! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Nightmare can you do me a big favor…?

Nightmare: You need a handsome man to go with you to the reunion? No problem...I’ll do it! 

Killer: I meant to see if you could call one of your friends or your brother but uh-

Nightmare: *death stare*

Killer: okay...you’ll do-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Two days to learn a language?

Dust: I got some spanish for ya! No way Jose- haha!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: And I’m sorry I said he was my favorite-

Horror: It's alright Dad! To be honest, I always preferred Nightmare. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: I know there is still some good left in you!

Nightmare: No there isn’t-! Wait. 

Nightmare: *visibly cringing* 

Nightmare referring to Passive Night: Agrh! There's still a piece of good. DARN IT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: *pretends to yawn to sling his arm over Blue to dim the lights*

Dust: Do you mind?

Blue: Not at all. While we’re at it.

Blue: *throws one of Error’s puppets at the radio to play some convenient romantic music*

Blue and Dust: *about to kiss on the couch*

Horror in the kitchen doorway: *holding a glass of milk* What are you doing?

Blue and Dust: AH! HORROR! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: What are you saying? That I’m dumb?!

Error: Well- no… you’re just not very….thinky.

Ink: Thinky? Why did you say that?!

Error: Because Geno told me I cant call you dumb.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Hey Killer? Can you get me some punch?

Killer: Sure, I’ll be right back.

Passive Nightmare: Cross? Can you get me some punch too?

Cross: What? Your feet dont work? 

Passive: 

Cross: Ice or no ice…?

Passive: Surprise me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: If you all want your phones….

Nightmare: *shows box of phones* They’re right here.

Blue: 

Dream: 

Horror: 

Dust: 

Killer:

Ink: 

Blue visibly shaking: 

Dream: Blue…

Blue starts vibrating a bit: 

Dream: Blue. 

Blue starts vibrating:

Dream: BluE- 

Blue: *war scream* 

Everyone except Nightmare and Blue: OH SHIT- 

Blue: I NEED MY PHONE- *starts running at nightmare* 

Everyone else: BLUE NO *tries to restrain Blue* 

Blue screaming: *kicks Ink in the stomach causing him to fall backwards*

Dust and Horror screaming: *trying to hold Blues legs and arms* 

Blue still screaming: *elbows Horror in the ribs*

Horror letting go of Blue: OW!!

Dust accidentally lets his grip loosen on Blue: HOLY SHIT! HORROR?! 

Blue who is still screaming: *pushing Dust to the ground and running at the box* I NEED MY PHONE- 

Killer: *tackles Blue* 

Dream: *helping Killer restrain Blue*

Ink: *confused screaming* 

Nightmare: *laughing*

Blue: *flips over also flipping over Killer and kicking him in the chest* 

Killer: FUCK! *rolls over and clutches onto his chest*

Dream: HOLY CRAP BLUE CALM DOWN- *grabs onto both of Blue’s arms*

Blue screaming and kicks Dream in the shin: I NEED MY PHONE- 

Dream: *falls down grabbing his shin* MOTHER FU-

Blue running and grabbing the box of phones: GIVE ME MY PHONE-

Ink trying to grab hold of Blue: BLUE WAIT- 

Blue screaming and hits Ink in the face with the box: AHHH

Everyone else except Ink: *charging at Blue*

Blue grabs phone from out of the box: I GOT IT I GOT IT- 

Horror: *hoists up a screaming Blue in the air*

Dust: *grabbing Blue from the thighs lifting him up even more*

Killer: *grabbing Blue’s phone from his hands*

Blue: NOOOOOO-

Killer: *puts Blue’s phone in the box*

Blue screaming and squirming: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Ink: *grabbing a chair*

Dream: *helping Dust and Horror restrain Blue* 

Blue: *flipping around screaming and kicking*

Nightmare: *still laughing*

Everyone: *sets Blue down on the chair Ink grabbed*

Dream, Horror, and Dust: *holding Blue down on the chair and shushing him*

Blue: *calms down*

Ink: Holy shit...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are more incorrect quotes: 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Hey do you want to- stop screaming, its just me- do you want to watch a movie with me? 

Dream: I'M IN THE SHOWER- 

Killer: Okay well when you’re done with that do you want to watch a movie with me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

F!Frisk: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl. 

Blue: I don't feel like you can fight because you are in a wedding dress. But for what it's worth, I don't think Ink could fight in that dress either.

Ink: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic banging on the closet door: Fell! Open up!

Fell: Well, it all started when I was born-

Classic: No I meant-

Blue: Shh....let him finish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: *sneaking in through the window at 2am*

Nightmare *flicking on the light and turning around in his chair*: So, Where were you?

Dust: I-I was with Cross!

Cross *turning around in his chair*: Wanna try again..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epic: Bruh, I want to give you the whole world but like...I only have 20 bucks.

Cross: Dude, come here.

Epic: *moves closer*

Cross: *hugs him*

Cross: I don't have any money but I got the world right here in my arms.

Epic: B r u h...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: How high was I last night?

Dream: You forgot what milk was and called it cereal water.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue to Ink: What time is it...?

Ink: Don't know. Hand me that flute and I'll find out

*Ink plays the flute*

Dream: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 2 AM?!

Ink: It's 2am

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross doing a CROSS-word puzzle: I need a 9 letter word for disappointment....

Ink: Nightmare.

Dream and Cross slowly rising from their seats: Are you ready to fucking die..?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: How do Horror and Dust get out of these messes?

Killer: They don't. They just make a bigger mess to cancel out the first one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Passive Nightmare: Do I want to be feared or loved? Easy.

Passive: Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Cross under his breath: Then I'm fucking terrified.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I'd like everybody's attention. Christmas is canceled.

Blue: You can't cancel a holiday.

Ink: Keep it up, Blue, and you'll lose New Year's.

Blue: What does that mean?

Ink: Dream, take New Year's away from Blue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lust: okay so the gingerbread house instructions say to be very delicate-

Sci: *holding power drill* DELICACY!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: I can't believe you and Horror broke the bed last night.

Dust: It must have been wild.

Lust: Haha... Yeah...

[Last Night]

Lust: Bet 35G you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

Horror: Try me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: Hey ya'll. So, I know I'm the new guy here, but I think I can speak for everyone when I say... I don't know what the fuck is going on.

The Bad Guys: Agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Sets kitchen on fire]

Dust: shit- we need an adult.

Horror: You ARE an adult!

Dust looking extremely terrified: oh...oh fuck.

Horror: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT. QUICK GO GET KILLER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: It's hard being the leader of the bad guys sometimes, but I love them all and that's all what matters-

Horror: Nightmare! Me, Fell, Dust, Killer, and Lust tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and we broke everything....

Nightmare: [inhales]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: You need a hobby Dust.

Dust: I already have a hobby Killer.

Killer: How many times do I have to tell you stalking Blue is not a hobby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Error: Ink? Why are you on top of the fridge?

Ink: Can I not be wherever I want?! Maybe I like it up here!

Error:

Error: Wheres the spider?

Ink, quietly: Underneath the table...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Nightmare to marry you!

Cross: Okay...Im listening....

Dust: Step one! Get him to play truth or dare.

Cross: Never mind please stop.

Dust: Step two! Wait for him to pick dare.

Cross: Dust. I swear.

Dust: Step three! Dare him to marry you.

Cross: God damn it.

Horror from another room: IT MIGHT WORK!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Killer: Synonyms are weird. Because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if someone invites you to a cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Blue: My favorite is 'butt-dial' vs 'booty call'

Sci: It's called connotation

Lust: Also, 'forgive me father for I have sinned'

Lust winking at horror: Vs 'sorry daddy, I've been naughty'

Horror whose face is now completely red: I-

Nightmare: Congrats! Language has officially been canceled.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream, joking: I should have Killer kill you for that

Killer from another room: who?

Dream: Oh no its okay, I was kidding around-

Killer, walking in, with a hammer and knife in both hands: No, is he bothering you?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic teaching Fell how to drive: Alright, you see Dust walking in the middle of the road. What do you hit?

Fell: ...oh definitely Dust.

Classic: The brakes Fell! You hit the brakes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Quick! Take my hand!

Blue: *grabs Dusts hand* Now what?

Dust: Nothing. I just wanted to hold hands!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross upset: I hate you guys and I'm never talking to a single one of you ever again!

[10 minutes later]

Cross kissing everyone's forehead: Goodnight Horror, Goodnight Lust, Goodnight Dust, Goodnight Killer, Goodnight Error.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue: Psst! Error!

Error: what?

Blue: I made this friendship bracelet for you!

Error: Blue... you know I'm not really a jewerly person...

Blue: Oh. Its okay! You dont have to wear it-

Error: No. I'm going to wear it forever back off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Me and Killer get along fine! Right Killz?

Killer: I've never been more stressed out in my entire life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cross: I guess I'm just too tough to cry.

Horror: Just yesterday you were crying about snakes.

Cross sobbing a little: THEY DON'T HAVE ARMS HORROR-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reaper: Hey bitches!!! I've got starbuckssss-

Dust: YAY!!!

Error: FUCK YEAH-

Lust: AWESOME!

Nightmare: Reaper...please...its 3 am in the morning....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Are you a cuddler?

Killer: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION- yeah I'm a cuddler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Classic: Dont talk to me.

Papyrus: What happened brother?

Classic: I went and joined a Sans look-alike contest...

Classic: AND LOST-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dream: Sibling relationships are weird.

Dream: Like, I'd give Nightmare my spine but no way is he borrowing my charger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: Whats it like dating Nightmare?

Cross: One timeI asked him for water while he was still mad at me, and he brought be a full glass of ice and said "wait".

Dust:

Cross:

Cross: I love him-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dust: I can't go. Stress is bad for the baby.

Killer: What baby?

Dust: Me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ink: I hate it when people ask me "whats the stupidest thing you've done?" Like bold of you to assume I've reached peak dumbass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nightmare: If someone ever kidnapped you, I would hunt them down to the ends of the earth so I could kill them.

Cross: If you asked I would literally kill everyone in this room with no hesitation.

Dream [A little terrified and disturbed]: You know this is not what normal couples say to each other right...?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geno: How do you politely tell someone you want to hit them in the face with a brick?

Sci: One wishes to acquaint your facial features in a fundamental item used in building walls. Repeatedly.

Lust shedding a fake tear: Thats the most beautiful thing I've ever heard....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue, opening a Capri-sun: Guess I'll just drink my sorrows away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if I posted a quote twice-

#crossmare #errorink #dustberry #passivecrossmare #Nightmare sans #dream sans #driller #kreme #dreamxkiller #nightmarexcross #dustxswap #murder sans #bloodlust #horrorlust #horrorsans #lustsans #horrorxlust #scifell #classic sans #afterdeath #bad guys #Star Sanses #Bad Sanses #reaperxgeno #reaper sans #fell sans

[doyouevenshipbr0]

gruvia drabble

author’s note: ok. hi. here we are again. i go on a 1948392 year hiatus and then become inspired to write something from the most RANDOM thing. but this was too good to pass up. so essentially i saw a headcannon by @incorrect-ft-ez-quotes and then @bbygirljuvi added onto it:) look at my most recent reblog for reference if u want hehehe. yeah ok maybe i did add some bs healing abilities to juvia’s powers... sue me! ok here we gooooo i hope u cuties enjoy!!!

*

“Popsicle,” Natsu sighed. “What the hell are you doin’ back here?” He held his door in one hand as he stared at a recently familiar face.

“What, a guy can’t stop by and visit his best friend?” Gray nervously chuckled.

Happy and Natsu weren’t buying it, exchanging suspicious looks as Gray impatiently stood at the door frame.

“Best friend?” Natsu rose an eyebrow.

“And for the 4th day in a row?” Happy jabbed, hovering beside Natsu’s head

“Would ya’ just let me in?” Gray spat out, clearly looking jittery.

“Fine.” Natsu groaned, stepping aside so Gray could step in.

“But we’re gonna’ start charging rent!” Happy exclaimed.

“Whatever, I don’t care, just as long as I can hang out here for a little while.” Gray hustled in, plopping himself onto Natsu’s worn down couch.

“Ok, you can stay here on one condition, tell me what it is you’re freaking out about. And gimme’ the real reason you’ve been comin’ here.” Natsu folded his arms.

“Aye!” Happy mimicked Natsu, crossing his little paws.

Gray let out a groan, bowing his head between his legs before whipping his head back up. “It’s Juvia, ok!?”

“Juvia?” Happy asked.

“But, you haven’t tried avoiding her in forever. You guys have been all buddy-buddy lately.” Natsu was trying to piece this all together in his head.

Gray blushed, averting his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“So what’s the deal?” Natsu was doing his best to get straight to the point, as nuance was not his strong suit.

“W-well... we... kind of... sort of...” Gray scratched at the back of his head, searching for the gall to say it. “We got drunk the other night at the guild, and then I went to walk her home since she was pretty wasted, and...one thing lead to another and... we almost kissed.”

Natsu was as confused as ever. “So?”

“So?!”

“Well, don’t ya’ like her?”

“W-well-!” Gray stammered, and gave out a defeated sigh, bowing his head again. “Yeah.” He mumbled to the point that Natsu or Happy could barely hear him.

“So then why don’t you wanna’ smooch her?” Happy was almost as dense as Natsu.

“Gah! You guys don’t get it!” Gray sprung up. “Forget it. I’m gonna’ find a new hiding spot. Preferably, one that asks less questions.”

Just as Gray made his way to Natsu’s front door, there was a sudden knock. Gray froze in his tracks as a chill went up his spine. He had a knack for this sort of thing, knowing when Juvia’s around, and that chill only ever meant one thing.

“Shit.”

Gray needed an escape route, but his head wasn’t on straight. He frantically scoured the little house, looking from wall to wall, but there was only one door, and Gray was just feet away from it.

“Natsu, whatever you do, don’t-“

“Be there in a sec’!” Natsu shouted at the door.

“You idiot!” Gray whisper yelled.

Natsu opened the door to none other than Juvia. She was known for her expressive nature. The look on her face could tell you anything you want to know, without her having to say a word.

“Hi, Natsu-san.” Juvia said both frantically and nervously. “Juvia was just wondering if Gray-sama was here.” She held her hands together promptly, hoping that he would be there.

“Actually Gray-“ Natsu was cut off at the sound of shattering glass. He instinctively spun around to a disastrous scene, displaying a broken window, shards of glass everywhere, and no Gray to be found. “Just left.” Natsu finished the thought differently than he originally intended.

Juvia heard the shattering too, and she had her answer. Her Gray-dar never failed her. Using her Gray-dar she quickly scurried to the back of the house, crossing her fingers that Gray hadn’t gotten away yet. The first thing she heard was a hiss of pain, and as she turned the corner, there sat her Gray in the ground, holding his bloody knee.

“Son of a bitch!” Gray yelled in pain, applying more pressure to his cut knee. Sure, he was used to getting beaten to a pulp in a fight, but he wasn’t exactly expecting a busted up knee right about now.

“Gray-sama!” Juvia’s eyes widened at the blood, and she hurried to his side.

Gray finally realized her presence. He stopped writhing in pain for a moment, and tried to appear as casual as usual. “Oh...” He forced a laugh. “Hey Juvia. what are you doin’ here?”

“Juvia should be asking you the same thing.” She knelt by Gray’s side. “But first, let Juvia help.”

“I’m fine.”

“Let Juvia see it, Gray-sama.”

He sighed, giving in and releasing his hold. Juvia quickly took her hands and placed them on Gray’s knee. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and suddenly her hands became water, but it wasn’t normal water. It was soothing, and it was making the stinging in Gray’s knee go away.

“Juvia has been working on some healing techniques. It’s nothing like Wendy, but I can heal some minor, surface-level things.” She explained, using her water hands to massage the area.

“Now that Juvia has finally caught you, why have you been avoiding me?” She finally looked at Gray who blushed at the sudden eye contact.

“I haven’t.” Gray tried to sound as natural as possible.

All Juvia had to do was give him a look that practically screamed “oh, please.” before he cracked. “Ok, fine. I’ve been avoiding you.”

“Juvia knows!” She exclaimed.

“I just don’t want things to be awkward between us!” He explained.

“But you don’t think avoiding me for days would make it awkward?” Juvia finally finished his knee and reverted her hands back to normal.

Gray groaned. “You’re right.” He ran his hand through his hair, trying to hide his face.

“Is this about... the other night?” Juvia finally asked.

“Do ya’ really have to even ask?” Gray avoided eye contact.

“But Juvia thought the night went well! I had a lot of fun!”

“So did I! Until...” He cut himself off.

“Until we almost kissed?” Juvia finished it for him.

“Yeah.”

“I see.” Juvia paused. “Are Juvia’s lips chapped?”

“Huh?” He finally peaked up at her.

“Or did Juvia have something in her teeth maybe?” She was going into panic mode.

“No that’s not-“

Juvia cut him off with as gasp, and her hands slapped against her mouth. “Or does Juvia’s breath stink?! Is that it?!”

“Would you knock it off!” Gray finally stopped her. “It doesn’t have to do with any of that stuff.

“Oh.” Juvia sunk. “So Gray-sama just does not want to kiss Juvia then.”

“No!” He instantly cut off that thought, even though he was embarrassed by how eager he sounded. “Not that either.” He grumbled.

“Then..?”

“We were drunk. Yes, we were having fun and all, but, I dunno’.” Gray grumbled, looking for the right words. “We haven’t had our first kiss yet. So when we do, I want it to be... kinda’... special. I guess. In a way.” Gray finished with some filler words to try and take the heat away from his face, but it was no use.

“S-s-special?! Gray-sama wants our kiss to be special?!” Juvia lit up, almost freezing in time waiting for someone to pinch her, because she figured this had to be a dream. However, she still was a bit lost, so she put a pause on her momentary fantasy. “Wait, so then why have you been avoiding me?”

“Because I didn’t know how to tell you all that. I was trying to buy some time until I could figure out what to say.” Gray released a deep exhale. “But I guess I’ve said it all now.”

“You sure have.” Juvia said giddily right before she launched herself at Gray, tightly clutching Gray’s shoulders in her arms as her cheek was pressed up firmly against his.

“Gah!” Gray shouted in surprise, trying to keep his balance as Juvia leeched onto him. They were still sitting, but she almost knocked him flat on his back.

“But you know what, Gray-sama?” Juvia broke her clutch, making sure she was looking right at Gray.

“What?” He looked down at her curiously.

“Juvia thinks every moment with Gray-sama is special. So to Juvia, any time is perfect for a first kiss.” She smiled so sweetly is made Gray’s heart just about burst.

“Yeah?” Gray felt the corner of his mouth tug up.

“Yep.” She nodded in assurance.

“If you say so.”

And without a second thought, Gray closed the gap between them, planting a sweet and soft kiss on Juvia’s lips. As they parted, they leaned in and pressed their foreheads against each other, both wearing matching grins.

“That looked pretty special from in here!” Happy interjected from inside the house, followed by Natsu’s laughter.

Gray and Juvia jumped, startled by the sudden noise. “Happy, shut it!” Gray turned his head, looking through what used to be a window, and seeing Natsu and Happy standing in their living room.

“Maybe we wouldn’t be able to hear you two slobbering on each other if there was a window here!” Natsu yelled, referring to the gaping hole in the middle of his wall.

“We were not slobbering, you moron!” Gray blushed furiously, finally standing up and facing Natsu.

“That’s what it looked like to me!” Natsu teased back, wearing a devious smile.

“Aye!” Happy seconded.

“Mind your business, flame-for-brains!”

“Next time you need to hide out for a week, you ain’t comin’ here!” Natsu shouted.

“Fine by me.” Gray scoffed.

He then looked back at Juvia as she appeared a little on edge, wondering if she was going to have to break up a fight between Gray and Natsu.

He grinned once again, at the girl he couldn’t wait to spend more special time with, making more memories, and growing even closer

He reached for Juvia’s hand and squeezed it. “I was gettin’ tired of running away anyway.”

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