#this is like. pun-ishment of some kind

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Danny Phantom doesn’t want to be king.

And the Observants also don’t want him to be king.

Frankly, very VERY few people want him to be king, dead or alive.

But opening the sarcophagus, even if it’s closed NOW, disrupted some magic protections. Until those can be fixed, summoning spells need to be answered by SOMEONE. Not all of summons, just like—once a month or so. Because if they don’t let that power outlet happen, all of those summon magics build up and suddenly Pariah Dark reigns again. Answering the summon basically dispels the built up magic, like opening a dam.

Again, Danny doesn’t WANT to do this either, but everyone else involved is a bad choice. He won’t even be named prince, because THEN that implies he COULD be king. He needs a title, of some kind, a position in the court, no matter how tenuous, so he can do the thing. Something where no one in their right or even WRONG mind would think to try to kill him for the position or try to marry him or something equally annoying to deal with.

So.

He becomes the Ghost Court Jester.

He even gets a fancy little outfit upgrade when he’s summoned, all black and white bell hats and shoes, a stupid little ruffle collar and black parachute pants, even face paint with a tiny dot of glowing neon green at the tip of his nose. The works. Better yet, if he hasn’t been ‘unsummoned’, his human form is just the exact same costume with swapped colors. He can change into his normal outfits, but until that circle has been disrupted, the next summon, or the next full or new moon, he’s stuck into the outfit when he first transforms from either form.

The Phantom Jester, which is a title more intimidating than Danny appears to be if we are to be honest, cracks jokes and never, EVER takes the summons seriously.

“Listen, I just had to get my hours in and it’s the last day of the lunar month, you got lucky I came at all.”

“I got the position by virtue of not wanting to go to Time Jail for a crime I technically didn’t commit and technically probably won’t but, well, eyes are the beholder of the grudge or something else equally cryptic to make you mad.”

“Is this a slumber party? … do you have cake? Bummer. Well, enjoy the bleeding walls then.”

“Whether I help you or not is entirely dependent on how well of a run down you can give me on this book I have to read that I have not at all touched.”

“Explain the reason in three sentences or less. I suggest less. And if it’s stupid I’m hitting you—oh you think this circle can contain me? Haha. It won’t.”

“Is that chicken blood? Why?? What did the chickens do to you?”

There are props in his costume but he literally never knows what he’s gonna pull out of his sleeves. Danny can’t even do a balloon animal and knows exactly zero card tricks, which would be more of an issue if the cards weren’t the size of a dinner plate. He barely even juggles and he’s honestly probably just utilizing his rarely-used telekinetic powers, but he does give people flowers if they haven’t been a total jerk. And if those flowers are like, rare and have seeds for propagation, well… he literally wouldn’t know. No, really, he doesn’t. He gets summoned by at least two ecology departments and he has no idea why, I mean, if he had a nickel—

He also had pies and is NOT afraid to use them.

#danny phantom #danny phantom headcanon #I usually do crossover stuff these days #but I deliberately left it out so anyone could chose to do so or not #that said…. could you imagine #there’s so many fandoms where this would just be really fucking funny #rare spell ingredients? super serious situation? life and death in the BALANCE? #and here’s a sassy teenager who isn’t even getting paid for this #you summoned him and now he’s YOUR problem #fair warning he bites #someone calls him a mime and he almost decks them #Mimes and clowns are noble pursuits! #this is like. pun-ishment of some kind

[soreiya]

What are your thoughts?

Storyboard artists are given a description of a scene and create their own interpretation from there. That doesn't mean that everything in a storyboard is what was intended. This artist in this case added runes because it's easier than coming up with their own fake language. The text in TtS is often gibberish for a reason. We're not supposed to be able to read it.

I'm gonna go off on a tangent now because this scene got me thinking...

Does Demanitus' character rub anyone else the wrong way? He's supposedly some super genius, yet he gives me the impression of being the kind of guy that would steal someone else's ideas and label them as his own. Perhaps if he offered some actual useful information during his time on screen I'd have a few less doubts. Unfortunately that opportunity was squandered and ended up being more of a pun-ishment for those who genuinely believed that season 2 would be more than a vacation like road trip when they started it.

I have a problems with his ideas and inventions as well. There is a real lack of common sense in his thought and designs. No proper failsafes were put in place in case of any mishaps. Even the invisible ink on the scroll gives me the impression that this man viewed the Sundrop as more of a threat than the Moonstone... Why wouldn't he have placed the Moonstone incantations on the back? Ugh... The writers really didn't think any of this through... I bet they had real thought out ideas for the scroll that got scrapped... I can't think of any other explanation. For the time being I'll just think of Demanitus as an idiot in their place. It's more fun that way.

#ask answered #ignore my mini rant

[amndmirk]

bingly scringly review: 9.5/9.6 very scringly and has good taste in ships except i am not a soriel fan but that’s just me anyway yes otherwise very bingly scringly

bingy skringly is my second name how do you know

#the 0.4-0.5 of soriel is scribeedoinkle #yes yes agreed #asks #cupofspiderss #wait or was it average-shitty-teen....... #dk dc tbh #soriel....hm hm #i always thought if ppl dont go for some kind of bromance w em- gotta love their friendship. like holy shit those guys. so shaped. #they spam you shit like Hello Frisk it is me Sans i love my brother very much and help im being slandered #she drew him hair on his skull with a black permanent marker. can you fucking believe it #sigh you got me thinking of the dumpass bisexuals again #not a sorta /pun/ishment youd wa-oK OK GEEZ IM DONE #CANT EVEN RAMBLE OUT HERE A LITTLE #gn^^

[joshuas]

love at first bite

♫ pairing: Park Jinyoung x Reader

♫ genre: Fluff, slice-of-life, non idol! au, high-key crack, not a vampire au!

♫ word count: 630

♫ prompt: “Do you believe in love at first sight?” 

♫ warnings: Nil of note! If you really despise puns, I’d recommend not reading! 

♫ a/n: Happy Jinyoung Day! This is honestly the most chaotic fanfic I’ve written (on little sleep, as well), so enjoy, I guess!

To be short, you were in a rush. You had continuously shut your alarm off, using the excuse that you had a long night. Of course, that was perfectly reasonable until you realised you had ten minutes to get dressed for your blind date with a mutual friend of yours - Jinyoung.

Silently cursing your friend, Lina, for deciding that an early-morning date would be best - you brushed your teeth, threw some clothes on, and rushed out into the warm spring weather.

You were mentally preparing yourself to apologise as you entered the cafe when a voice snapped you out of your reverie,

“Y/N?”

You whipped around, eyes landing on the location of the voice. Dressed in a simple white t-shirt and jeans that outlined his athletic build, he was looking up at you behind the dark frames of his reading glasses, with a book in hand - Jinyoung. 

“The photos really didn’t do him enough justice.” You muttered, as you nervously approached the table he was seated at.

Freshly made coffee mixed with the subtle vanilla fragrance of the fluffy pancakes drizzled with hot maple syrup hit at your senses as you glanced down at the breakfast assortment in front of you.

“I didn’t really know what you wanted, so I kind of guessed, based on what Lina’s told me of you. You can’t go wrong with pancakes, right?”

“I- do you believe in love at first sight?” you gaped at the mouth-watering selection of food as you sat down. 

“As sad as I am to realise that you’re talking about the food, I’ll take this as a victory that I guessed correctly?” He grinned, his eyes crinkling.

Snapping out of your awe, you shifted your focus to Jinyoung. 

You sighed in adoration, this man is literally the most adorable and perfect human being on the planet.

“You did, thank you. I’m really sorry I was late. “ You apologised profusely.

 “I’m assuming you’re not a morning person?” He chuckled, his dimples making you internally swoon.

“Not usually... it’s just, I had a late night after binge reading this one book.”

“Understandable. I haven’t been able to put mine down all morning. Maybe we should plan to have our second date later in the day. Perhaps at a bookstore?” He suggested.

Your eyes widened, “You want to go on a second date?”

“Why not?” He leaned back against his chair, muscles flexing.

Okay. OKAY. No big deal, but you just scored another date with literally the most thoughtful (and handsome) guy EVER.

Just as you opened your mouth to speak, your stomach grumbled as you remembered the food in front of you.

“Seeing as you’re hungry, let’s eat. Then, you can tell me more about that book.” He chuckled, pushing the plate of pancakes towards you.

___________

“Ugh, I’m so full. I feel like I’m in food heaven.”

“They say the best way to a person’s heart is to buy them food.” He sighed.

“You know, instead of love at first sight, I’d say it was more love at first bite.” You winked, wiggling your eyebrows at Jinyoung as he gave you the most disdainful stare in the world (y’all know what I’m talking about). 

There was a long pause, as you scrambled to explain your joke,

“You know. Because I said it regarding the food initially, and—“

“—You really know how to make someone’s heart skip a beet.” He remarked sarcastically, as he got up from the table.

Your eyes widened in surprise at his sudden contribution, “Oh my god. We’re mint to be!” You laughed as he rolled his eyes, trying not to smile, as the both of you exited the café.

Little did Jinyoung know that he’d continue to “suffer” through such punishments for many years to come.

- I’m so sorry you were put through this esfnsefknfkdmd

i do not own this gif! credit to gif owner...

✿ masterlist

#got7creators #park jinyoung #got7 drabbles #got7 x reader #got7 jinyoung #got7 #got7 imagines #kpop imagines #got7 fluff #jinyoung fiction #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung romance #jinyoung x reader #jinyoung au #got7 romance #got7 fanfic #kpop romance #kpop fluff

[datawyrms]

Break the mood

Dannymay 2020 Day 25 : Break

Ice creaked under the barrage of blazing pink blasts, the half ghost having to grit his teeth and hope the barrier held. Cracks spiderwebbed across the surface, but reaching for more ice managed to keep him unburned. Barely.

He dropped the shield and grinned, trying to catch his nemesis’ eye. “Oooh, nice icebreaker! I bet it goes over great at parties.” The expected retaliating ectoblast was easy to dodge with a quick roll to the right, firing off a few of his own as he did so. “Oh wait! You don’t get invited to parties!”

Vlad’s sneer looked closer to angry than aloof, a clone splitting off to add a new wave of ectoblasts for the scrawny teenage ghost to dodge. “I see your banter is still as shoddy as your moves, Daniel.”

“It’s actually kind of weird, Dracula is meant to be some lady killer and here you are, still creeping Mom out,” the half ghost let out a little gasp “Wait, is THAT why you look like a cut price count ghostula?” The punch from the copy sent the boy reeling, but didn’t stop him from laughing. “It totally is!”

The vampiric ghost was tense, jaw locked in a snarl as a hastily created shield blocked return blow. “Is there a reason you broke into my lab to be infuriating, or perhaps you’re just as lonely as I am today, boy?”

“Oooh, projecting. You could open a theater,” he seemed unbothered by Vlad’s suggestion, slipping under and behind the copy to blast it back out of the fight. “Might booost your income legitimately for a change!”

“You did not come here just to spit insipid puns at me.”

The boy’s grin only widened. “What, regretting the punishment you earned?”

The two ghosts glared at one another, both unwilling to make the next move.“I haven’t acted against you in months, yet here you are scrounging around in my lab like a rat. You are hardly the hero in this instance Daniel.”

Green eyes darted to the walls, apparently not wanting to look at Vlad head on suddenly. “Hey, if you took my cat suggestion you might not have rat problems.”

“Finally realize my work outstrips your parents when it comes to ghosts, boy? Having some trouble with your little secret?” Vlad could only grin when his pint sized nemesis flinched. He was really quite predictable at times.

“You wish Plasmius. You’re always up to something, and I’m tired of surprises.”

Not even a joke. Well well, he’d hit quite the sore spot. “Am I now? I do have a life outside of you and your idiot father, you know.”

“Pfft, please. You don’t even have half a life.”

“So says the only other accidental hybrid. You didn’t think that little barb through, did you Daniel.”

Phantom frowned, hands still clenched into fists even though neither ghost had tried a non verbal blow. “It’s improv, not everything’s going to fly like I can!”

He was pretty sure his brain winced at the teen’s pathetic attempt at a joke. “Are you going to ask for help or should I just beat the question out of you?”

“Wow, great parenting. Totally would have won me over that way.” he rolled his eyes, but pulled his arms closer.

“You’ve started to destabilize?”

Danny flinched backwards, eyes wide in shock. “H-how did you-”

“I didn’t, but you helpfully confirmed it.” That brought the scowl back to the teenager’s face. “Though I did suspect the issue with my clones was not the lack of DNA, but with you. It was too consistent a problem to be anything but.”

“...You didn’t have something like this happen to you?” the fear that snuck into the younger ghost’s voice felt very wrong, considering how hard he worked for the brave persona.

“We may both be hybrids my boy, but that does not make us identical. I was blasted with impure ectoplasm and changed very slowly over years of agony.” he eyed the boy before switching back to human. There wasn’t all that much fight in him, by the looks of it, “From what I understand you were changed instantaneously?”

“I guess so?” It wasn’t something he cared to think back on all that often.

“I expect your human half can no longer sustain the stress of your ghost half. I suppose that incredible growth in power was to your detriment after all.” he gave a shrug, turning to walk out of the lab.

“What? That’s it? You don’t know anything?” the white haired ghost zipped in front of him, eyes searching Vlad’s face for some sort of evil grin. “You have to know!”

Well, Daniel was a child. “How could I? We are hardly a common breed of ghost.” That, and if the clones were anything to go by there wasn’t much of a fix. “Your body will break down from the stress, and you may possibly reform from the ectoplasm. I doubt your human half would survive that. Though you might be able to hide that with practice.”

“How long?”

“Boy, you keep asking me things I couldn’t possibly know.”

“You’re not even going to try and help me fix this?” He seemed genuinely surprised, or possibly hurt at the elder hybrid’s dismissal.

“You did keep me from studying a clone lost in such a fashion, so I don’t have anything to help you with.” he paused when the ghost’s eyes flared at the reminder. “If my theory is correct, you’re simply dying Daniel. Your ghost half breaks down what humanity you have left, and that’s it. I expect you can continue on as a ghost well enough.”

The teenager stiffened, glaring furiously at the floor. “So you won’t even try”.

“Your father broke you Daniel, not me. Go be angry at him. We have that in common.”

#dannymay2020 #Danny Phantom #vlad masters #vlad plasmius #my stuff #this was meant to be dumb and funny #just a bunch of bad puns #but brain went NO #let's be evil #so. whoops. #i was meant to break vlad with stupid jokes not this aaa

[babyawacs]

they mustve implied Sexuality in their assaults its inexplica ble #lawyers .@law  @law .@laws .@harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc _whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom separate it clearly tha t itis not sexuality but them imply that that thereisno frivolou s gains but them imply that that even if some would fit prefe rence, does not undo allthe assaults that are beyond good and ev il that it iiiiis about them and that all knew that  ******* the gain the benefit the what for was in something else than abo ut that guy  letalone about sexuality ofthat guy ******* this.  is probably not separated clearly checkthat youre the pro s  /// dont get nuts over it, its not so complicated: because. it. is. intel. it.is .all about. which. trick. works. t histime. get furious about it  not nuts about it itis lay er1 causing authorities with control accomplice rapedmolested d amamged themselves whatthey can  host layer2 cockroaches immu nsied todowhat wish hope pretend youre their underhuman candowhatt heywant with civillians usually willalways try sth . coordinated more orless or invited orho sted only as proxies dont get nuts about it get mad about it isuggest: a sero tolerance dont touch it. offthewalls. off t he health. itdoesntmatter what youwant whatyoupretend what youtry donttouchit. if youre support coordinate with support your ideas are: /// what doyou do about 19years of microscopy while they shuffled sexual asssault  then someone germancures your nuts to a smeary fatty or sth because they s u s p e c t something this. itisntjust shuffled sexual assault itisn tjust deedtyped allalong iit is deedtyped after daytimechargin g it  repeatedly risking allmyrights and anything to because thecausing authorities quell the charging and thefix  the fix is letmore and shuffle more sexual assault and try togive it an alibi nomatter how counterfactuall this. what is agains t this.  //// lawyers ofmine  ******** had one single tri ck worked unthinkable what wouldhappen next: disassemble this trick ie: because we declare h im nuts we dont compensate what we overtape allalong because he aeh molests little furry sexcat s and sex hedgehogs, we must not compensate what we damage rape and smear. this ********** had one trick worked unt hinkable ////// #lawyers  law .@laws .@harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom what is the state ofmind of the charged gover nment: when they just have to find a trick that puts you inyourpl ace a trick that you give up  atrick that resets your brain a trick that shows they dominate you and you must obey like youha ve no choice  this is the stateofmind this itis idont care whatthey fake idont care howthey goodcop badcop idontcare how they play sorry theyrenot this. is their stateofmind what do you do about it it explains a long long lattice o f messes and dirty tricks furthermore ////// #sexland #se x #land @all @world @globe @booking  .@law .@laws .@harvard_law @ ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom youjustdont getit the german goverme nt rapes thecivil population that is not immunised agains t  intel coma s wheres the news they porn the c r a p out of em they sell em as sexslave on intelcoma if they can th ey preplan their careerrs and setemup who exploits who first an d benefits how they controlem like forehead braincooked foo ls like children like fools they hold as underhuman exploitable underhumans that is the basis of it all when a civillian d aytime charged the basis oftheir security system: they did any harm they remotely had then used proxies then played good cop bad cop hunting them ebcause we forced em to and this is the basis ofthe case guilty liable causing criminal governm ents that dowhatthey want withthe civil population charged d aytime for staying damamges and coverup and hightheft using their security system as prison gig t rick is that clear now itis not a single case itisnot the g erman hookerofthe land itis one of 60million abused civillia ns that charged the crap out of em for whatthey did here with the civil population for70years ////// btw2  get allthe clowns offmy privacy  superp rivacy i n t i m a c y  the scums meld their perverts onthe case and see if later daytiem any thing is confirmation tothat thenits confirmed orsth jail as stoyer dicktoyermolester itis disgusting cockroaches that rei nterpret on deeply intimate things after raping and pedo sexual a ssaulting nomatter how often idaytime chbarge it i am furious  about it the cockroaches braindamamge forehead and suffocate the c r a po outof me and damamge eraseme ihate em its legit to  and iam furious about it idaytime chargedit atleastfive times locally and fivetimes eu they shuffle se xual assault repeat humiliate and seee how pervert you are co ifirmation i hate them idontlive by hate minors wemu st rescue but  the scums get offfffthe case andif wehave tohun t the scums for the authorities the authroties gotojailwit hem they host em coverem anyway host em whenthey cant tax it a trickfailed then itnensified pedo tricks thisishowit wor ks its  criminal government  authrotieis criminal authori ties shuffling proxies guilty liable accomplice control usua lly maybe unbriefed fools that get shit into their head to mes s wit an excuse sero tolerance with sexual  abuse sexual assault the authorities do their job and hunt thw eir cockroaches and if we must theygotojailwith the scums they sat and let rapes poisosn rapes galore arbitrary wh attttheywant whowants cinema grocerystore chameber arbitra ry rapoes rape inschool and cinema arbtirary rtape ******** rape allthtime manytiems deedtyped w e force the m to huntheir cockroach german cockroaches thatthey are withthe authroities or they gotojail  both withthe scums when wem ust huntem an this we must do ***************** //// lawyer s that is 90billion euro s fortune of earned tbhings with wh at icould ninety billion before like 67billion do you wonder what scums would do when they think its vulnerable or get access with a trick  beit separating it away from that guy they dowaht they want with and act like its mysteriously cre ated not from what thatguy could and did it is ninety billi on a share of which wealth generated you donot make it vulne rable to anyone a matter of granted or not granted if a trick wo rks  or sth itis daytime court demanded ina mess where t hey quell immunisation and quzelled the case intothe daytimebubb le inthe firstplace they shuffle tricks like bum med s or b raindamamged fool careers and its just your own fault that you my steriously didnt pick a dayfool career while allrealdeal wouldnt matter this shit you get off me and you get rational about what kinds of scums wi ll a l w a y s try sth a bout the fortune if it seems arbitrary separated away fromthat guy and thatguys performance systemic trickery to be g r a n t e d  maybe when he doestn rememeber or is incapacitated and allthese shits if he as dayfoolsomehow something the y trashcan killtrick and harm and hookertrick and degrade as if the fortune wouldnt be real and asif i daytime demanded my ufo or sth seriously. ha rden the fortune from bullshit systemic ornot bust separation tricks of fortune and thatguy performance of thatguy separateda way and be rational about what scums will a l w a y s try sth that is ************* 90billion from this v ery head of what icould and the yeffort braindamage and heartkill and bum meds and gurtslock an dpathogens and tobe granted or not separation of fortune and perf ormance asif im a fool they put in a frozen tube and keepthemoney trick at best thefffff ff f f f f f f f ff f f f f f involve serious insurances and reinsurers ifnecessary include atomic hardening serobullshits agaisnt fraudsystems and criminal govts and thanks forall **** *********** ///// what mom theme is the theme ididnt kno w moms or sth and ididntmind  itis agerman shitball about unde rdevelopment usually or perversions or sth asif you sense mom s or sth because thats what you surely want thatkindof german ness //// lawyers because imminent danger and war is so s everely bad enough i say no capital punishments whenever possible:! a l w a y s no capital pun ishment no deathpentalty scums go tojail cant be fun in there important is they understand they dodged capital punishment for real I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent S ophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www. BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss //// xraybeam trick heartaimed //// 1634 repair? or leeche ry /// pathogen murderer gases 1518 batih above abovesdjanc ent or cirucitboard. squeezetheockroach shifted from xraytrick b efore //// xray murderbeam beta highpowered orand transmu tation 1500 1511 above aboveadjkacent knows I am Christian K ISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + # INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@BabyAWA CS.com PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. D onnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss /// after which damage and degradation would #you! have said: "mmaaayn adunno.. allthe beer and stuff and their fhaaanta stic cars drivingby .. but youknow.. ikinda miss my genitals... " for them it makes sense //// intelligence genomes more from the mother  usually has also some implications of why it is as it is shewas morelike lisa simpson and dodged studying i nthe 70s because parent got ill and died then got hepatitis next year then met my dad with his h eavymotor bike  another life spoiled (haha) /// the gloriou s german careers with those stamps visualise it /// it wo uldbe epic justice if germans would try to pillgage the case but o neof their earlier damage tricks fucks em instead letalone any invention after which staying harms it doesnt work both w ays, einstein can be cooked to a fool but a fool cannot be einstein as extreme example / /// this howthey are mustve been obviosu other cases too ofreailtime botch things #failed #vir ginity #test #2001 .@law @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @fr ance24 @haaretzcom @snowden .@fisa @judge .@judge @judges  be cause the germans damage their civillians fairly arbitrarily and cover these with standard stigmas thisis how it really is a llalong ***** lets find the cover alibis like retard stamps itis a stigma dyslectic me!! (nickname schnellschreiber 3r d/felt abit artificial bllah) but dyslectic- it is ? a stigma ** *** virginity ?! meh. unless its a stigma  one shitball bites  the other but that doesnt keepem from right. then. getting away with something damnthe factuality basis I a m Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THIN KTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ In [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss /// demand a h ook on abstracthumour abstract analysis fromfools they  dont getit toooousually /// backlegv to genital implant is hiughly heartkill relelvant makesure theresno damamge added so gutslock gutsusdudue rmeotecontrolled the technology is ma sseldorn badenser whale landesverfassungsschutz //// squee ze lympahtic aimer 2310+-2 its like eastern sexdrug orso //// xraybeam heartaimedd leftchestaimed radar or beta trans mutation allthetime as 20pm 2020 2040 2245 allthetime //// store onlinebanking 2100+-7 woa backleg heartkillrele lvant 2107 acesser squeeze after this mail: "whatis hkkaz, hkcaz,hkccs abbreviations inthe local bank account wahtis fortu ne amount total" //// which fortune sums over which ti meframes  make sure its notarstamped courtusable and when dayt imedemanded daytime court demanded iget damaged chav harmed all the time find xraybeamtrick 2040 20pm-2020pm //// authorites gotojail when wemust hunt pathogen murderer above for em letaloneif theauthroites grant em access or cause theki lltrick ///theyarenot competent they shuffle scums that try sth. pathogen murderer above 1500 stuffhimthemix galore. allofi t onsite .  who was onthe case 12,000persons andthefinest ano ther good indication for intel #sex #sexual #potence #balls #tric k @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 .@world @world @all because itis intel itis which trick w orks. batshitnuts? criminal? terrorist? pedo? fool? alljust adr eam nowhy was sth because itis intel which trick works ha s a l w a y s beenthegame isuspect people know  but thats not the case youmay count the shuffled harms priming (itis a ch ip bring all bananas: academic: wtf?!??why everyone throwing ba naanas atme) framing (as the transvestite that he is, yousee he has long hair: you: theffffff?!?!???) woodbride (he sits alo ne inhis chamber and designs bride dresses for his great weddin g day ahead. which may eventually occur s o m e d a y/ he hopes it increases his sexual potence if he adds allkinds of balls on it blah) smashwords.com/books/ view/552210 /// howmany harms like guts and genitals and ass and facebone were from 2004 it was bad and experiment kill it  but itwasnot these 5years intnsified killtricks with shuf fled any harm leecheries morbusmake  backlegheartdiease poison s xrays mengeles  pathogens  lympahtic aimed tricks gutssu bdue dozens of headimacts nanofineduts obscure tricks like li fetime leech and fibrin leech andsuch  and interoxid austausch arsenide suffocate trisk  itis constant try anything that it dies whichtrick thistime with plausible deniability I am C hristian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKT ANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquir [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Suppo rt. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss /// because itis in tel itis which trick works. batshitnuts? criminal? terrorist? pe do? fool? alljust adream nowhy was sth because itis intel which trick works has a l w a y s beenthegame isuspect peopl e know  but thats not the case youmay count the shuffled ha rms priming (itis a chip bring all bananas: academic: wtf?!??wh y everyone throwing banaanas atme) framing (as the transvesti te that he is, yousee he has long hair: you: theffffff?!?!???) woodbride (he sits alone inhis chamber and designs bride dresses for his great wedding day a head. which may eventually occur s o m e d a y/ he hopes it increases his sexual potence if he a dds allkinds of balls on it blah) smashwords.com/books/view/552 210 /// howmany harms like guts and genitals and ass and facebone were from 2004 it was bad and experiment killit  bu t itwasnot these 5years intnsified killtricks with shuffled any harm leecheries morbusmake  backlegheartdiease poisons xrays mengeles  pathogens  lympah tic aimed tricks gutssubdue dozens of headimacts nanofinedut s obscure tricks like lifetime leech and fibrin leech andsuch  and interoxid austausch arsenide suffocate trisk  itis con stant try anything that it dies whichtrick thistime with plaus ible deniability I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Indepen dent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https:/ /www.BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophisticat ion #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.c om/ [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpfu l? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss I am Christi an KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@Bab yAWACS.com PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

they mustve implied Sexuality in their assaults its inexplica ble #lawyers .@law  @law .@laws .@harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc _whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom separate it clearly tha t itis not sexuality but them imply that that thereisno frivolou s gains but them imply that that even if some would fit prefe rence, does not undo allthe assaults that are beyond good and ev il that it iiiiis about them and that all knew that  ******* the gain the benefit the what for was in something else than abo ut that guy  letalone about sexuality ofthat guy ******* this.  is probably not separated clearly checkthat youre the pro s  /// dont get nuts over it, its not so complicated: because. it. is. intel. it.is .all about. which. trick. works. t histime. get furious about it  not nuts about it itis lay er1 causing authorities with control accomplice rapedmolested d amamged themselves whatthey can  host layer2 cockroaches immu nsied todowhat wish hope pretend youre their underhuman candowhatt heywant with civillians usually willalways try sth . coordinated more orless or invited orho sted only as proxies dont get nuts about it get mad about it isuggest: a sero tolerance dont touch it. offthewalls. off t he health. itdoesntmatter what youwant whatyoupretend what youtry donttouchit. if youre support coordinate with support your ideas are: /// what doyou do about 19years of microscopy while they shuffled sexual asssault  then someone germancures your nuts to a smeary fatty or sth because they s u s p e c t something this. itisntjust shuffled sexual assault itisn tjust deedtyped allalong iit is deedtyped after daytimechargin g it  repeatedly risking allmyrights and anything to because thecausing authorities quell the charging and thefix  the fix is letmore and shuffle more sexual assault and try togive it an alibi nomatter how counterfactuall this. what is agains t this.  //// lawyers ofmine  ******** had one single tri ck worked unthinkable what wouldhappen next: disassemble this trick ie: because we declare h im nuts we dont compensate what we overtape allalong because he aeh molests little furry sexcat s and sex hedgehogs, we must not compensate what we damage rape and smear. this ********** had one trick worked unt hinkable ////// #lawyers  law .@laws .@harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom what is the state ofmind of the charged gover nment: when they just have to find a trick that puts you inyourpl ace a trick that you give up  atrick that resets your brain a trick that shows they dominate you and you must obey like youha ve no choice  this is the stateofmind this itis idont care whatthey fake idont care howthey goodcop badcop idontcare how they play sorry theyrenot this. is their stateofmind what do you do about it it explains a long long lattice o f messes and dirty tricks furthermore ////// #sexland #se x #land @all @world @globe @booking  .@law .@laws .@harvard_law @ ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom youjustdont getit the german goverme nt rapes thecivil population that is not immunised agains t  intel coma s wheres the news they porn the c r a p out of em they sell em as sexslave on intelcoma if they can th ey preplan their careerrs and setemup who exploits who first an d benefits how they controlem like forehead braincooked foo ls like children like fools they hold as underhuman exploitable underhumans that is the basis of it all when a civillian d aytime charged the basis oftheir security system: they did any harm they remotely had then used proxies then played good cop bad cop hunting them ebcause we forced em to and this is the basis ofthe case guilty liable causing criminal governm ents that dowhatthey want withthe civil population charged d aytime for staying damamges and coverup and hightheft using their security system as prison gig t rick is that clear now itis not a single case itisnot the g erman hookerofthe land itis one of 60million abused civillia ns that charged the crap out of em for whatthey did here with the civil population for70years ////// btw2  get allthe clowns offmy privacy  superp rivacy i n t i m a c y  the scums meld their perverts onthe case and see if later daytiem any thing is confirmation tothat thenits confirmed orsth jail as stoyer dicktoyermolester itis disgusting cockroaches that rei nterpret on deeply intimate things after raping and pedo sexual a ssaulting nomatter how often idaytime chbarge it i am furious  about it the cockroaches braindamamge forehead and suffocate the c r a po outof me and damamge eraseme ihate em its legit to  and iam furious about it idaytime chargedit atleastfive times locally and fivetimes eu they shuffle se xual assault repeat humiliate and seee how pervert you are co ifirmation i hate them idontlive by hate minors wemu st rescue but  the scums get offfffthe case andif wehave tohun t the scums for the authorities the authroties gotojailwit hem they host em coverem anyway host em whenthey cant tax it a trickfailed then itnensified pedo tricks thisishowit wor ks its  criminal government  authrotieis criminal authori ties shuffling proxies guilty liable accomplice control usua lly maybe unbriefed fools that get shit into their head to mes s wit an excuse sero tolerance with sexual  abuse sexual assault the authorities do their job and hunt thw eir cockroaches and if we must theygotojailwith the scums they sat and let rapes poisosn rapes galore arbitrary wh attttheywant whowants cinema grocerystore chameber arbitra ry rapoes rape inschool and cinema arbtirary rtape ******** rape allthtime manytiems deedtyped w e force the m to huntheir cockroach german cockroaches thatthey are withthe authroities or they gotojail  both withthe scums when wem ust huntem an this we must do ***************** //// lawyer s that is 90billion euro s fortune of earned tbhings with wh at icould ninety billion before like 67billion do you wonder what scums would do when they think its vulnerable or get access with a trick  beit separating it away from that guy they dowaht they want with and act like its mysteriously cre ated not from what thatguy could and did it is ninety billi on a share of which wealth generated you donot make it vulne rable to anyone a matter of granted or not granted if a trick wo rks  or sth itis daytime court demanded ina mess where t hey quell immunisation and quzelled the case intothe daytimebubb le inthe firstplace they shuffle tricks like bum med s or b raindamamged fool careers and its just your own fault that you my steriously didnt pick a dayfool career while allrealdeal wouldnt matter this shit you get off me and you get rational about what kinds of scums wi ll a l w a y s try sth a bout the fortune if it seems arbitrary separated away fromthat guy and thatguys performance systemic trickery to be g r a n t e d  maybe when he doestn rememeber or is incapacitated and allthese shits if he as dayfoolsomehow something the y trashcan killtrick and harm and hookertrick and degrade as if the fortune wouldnt be real and asif i daytime demanded my ufo or sth seriously. ha rden the fortune from bullshit systemic ornot bust separation tricks of fortune and thatguy performance of thatguy separateda way and be rational about what scums will a l w a y s try sth that is ************* 90billion from this v ery head of what icould and the yeffort braindamage and heartkill and bum meds and gurtslock an dpathogens and tobe granted or not separation of fortune and perf ormance asif im a fool they put in a frozen tube and keepthemoney trick at best thefffff ff f f f f f f f ff f f f f f involve serious insurances and reinsurers ifnecessary include atomic hardening serobullshits agaisnt fraudsystems and criminal govts and thanks forall **** *********** ///// what mom theme is the theme ididnt kno w moms or sth and ididntmind  itis agerman shitball about unde rdevelopment usually or perversions or sth asif you sense mom s or sth because thats what you surely want thatkindof german ness //// lawyers because imminent danger and war is so s everely bad enough i say no capital punishments whenever possible:! a l w a y s no capital pun ishment no deathpentalty scums go tojail cant be fun in there important is they understand they dodged capital punishment for real I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent S ophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www. BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss //// xraybeam trick heartaimed //// 1634 repair? or leeche ry /// pathogen murderer gases 1518 batih above abovesdjanc ent or cirucitboard. squeezetheockroach shifted from xraytrick b efore //// xray murderbeam beta highpowered orand transmu tation 1500 1511 above aboveadjkacent knows I am Christian K ISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + # INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@BabyAWA CS.com PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. D onnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss /// after which damage and degradation would #you! have said: “mmaaayn adunno.. allthe beer and stuff and their fhaaanta stic cars drivingby .. but youknow.. ikinda miss my genitals… ” for them it makes sense //// intelligence genomes more from the mother  usually has also some implications of why it is as it is shewas morelike lisa simpson and dodged studying i nthe 70s because parent got ill and died then got hepatitis next year then met my dad with his h eavymotor bike  another life spoiled (haha) /// the gloriou s german careers with those stamps visualise it /// it wo uldbe epic justice if germans would try to pillgage the case but o neof their earlier damage tricks fucks em instead letalone any invention after which staying harms it doesnt work both w ays, einstein can be cooked to a fool but a fool cannot be einstein as extreme example / /// this howthey are mustve been obviosu other cases too ofreailtime botch things #failed #vir ginity #test #2001 .@law @harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @fr ance24 @haaretzcom @snowden .@fisa @judge .@judge @judges  be cause the germans damage their civillians fairly arbitrarily and cover these with standard stigmas thisis how it really is a llalong ***** lets find the cover alibis like retard stamps itis a stigma dyslectic me!! (nickname schnellschreiber 3r d/felt abit artificial bllah) but dyslectic- it is ? a stigma ** *** virginity ?! meh. unless its a stigma  one shitball bites  the other but that doesnt keepem from right. then. getting away with something damnthe factuality basis I a m Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THIN KTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ In [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss /// demand a h ook on abstracthumour abstract analysis fromfools they  dont getit toooousually /// backlegv to genital implant is hiughly heartkill relelvant makesure theresno damamge added so gutslock gutsusdudue rmeotecontrolled the technology is ma sseldorn badenser whale landesverfassungsschutz //// squee ze lympahtic aimer 2310+-2 its like eastern sexdrug orso //// xraybeam heartaimedd leftchestaimed radar or beta trans mutation allthetime as 20pm 2020 2040 2245 allthetime //// store onlinebanking 2100+-7 woa backleg heartkillrele lvant 2107 acesser squeeze after this mail: “whatis hkkaz, hkcaz,hkccs abbreviations inthe local bank account wahtis fortu ne amount total” //// which fortune sums over which ti meframes  make sure its notarstamped courtusable and when dayt imedemanded daytime court demanded iget damaged chav harmed all the time find xraybeamtrick 2040 20pm-2020pm //// authorites gotojail when wemust hunt pathogen murderer above for em letaloneif theauthroites grant em access or cause theki lltrick ///theyarenot competent they shuffle scums that try sth. pathogen murderer above 1500 stuffhimthemix galore. allofi t onsite .  who was onthe case 12,000persons andthefinest ano ther good indication for intel #sex #sexual #potence #balls #tric k @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 .@world @world @all because itis intel itis which trick w orks. batshitnuts? criminal? terrorist? pedo? fool? alljust adr eam nowhy was sth because itis intel which trick works ha s a l w a y s beenthegame isuspect people know  but thats not the case youmay count the shuffled harms priming (itis a ch ip bring all bananas: academic: wtf?!??why everyone throwing ba naanas atme) framing (as the transvestite that he is, yousee he has long hair: you: theffffff?!?!???) woodbride (he sits alo ne inhis chamber and designs bride dresses for his great weddin g day ahead. which may eventually occur s o m e d a y/ he hopes it increases his sexual potence if he adds allkinds of balls on it blah) smashwords.com/books/ view/552210 /// howmany harms like guts and genitals and ass and facebone were from 2004 it was bad and experiment kill it  but itwasnot these 5years intnsified killtricks with shuf fled any harm leecheries morbusmake  backlegheartdiease poison s xrays mengeles  pathogens  lympahtic aimed tricks gutssu bdue dozens of headimacts nanofineduts obscure tricks like li fetime leech and fibrin leech andsuch  and interoxid austausch arsenide suffocate trisk  itis constant try anything that it dies whichtrick thistime with plausible deniability I am C hristian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKT ANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquir [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Suppo rt. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss /// because itis in tel itis which trick works. batshitnuts? criminal? terrorist? pe do? fool? alljust adream nowhy was sth because itis intel which trick works has a l w a y s beenthegame isuspect peopl e know  but thats not the case youmay count the shuffled ha rms priming (itis a chip bring all bananas: academic: wtf?!??wh y everyone throwing banaanas atme) framing (as the transvesti te that he is, yousee he has long hair: you: theffffff?!?!???) woodbride (he sits alone inhis chamber and designs bride dresses for his great wedding day a head. which may eventually occur s o m e d a y/ he hopes it increases his sexual potence if he a dds allkinds of balls on it blah) smashwords.com/books/view/552 210 /// howmany harms like guts and genitals and ass and facebone were from 2004 it was bad and experiment killit  bu t itwasnot these 5years intnsified killtricks with shuffled any harm leecheries morbusmake  backlegheartdiease poisons xrays mengeles  pathogens  lympah tic aimed tricks gutssubdue dozens of headimacts nanofinedut s obscure tricks like lifetime leech and fibrin leech andsuch  and interoxid austausch arsenide suffocate trisk  itis con stant try anything that it dies whichtrick thistime with plaus ible deniability I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Indepen dent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https:/ /www.BabyAWACS.com/ [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophisticat ion #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.c om/ [email protected] PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpfu l? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss I am Christi an KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #INTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@Bab yAWACS.com PHONE / FAX [phone] Helpful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

they mustve implied Sexuality in their assaults its inexplicable #lawyers .@law @law .@laws .@harvard_law @ap @reuters @bbc_whys @france24 @snowden @haaretzcom

separate it clearly that itis not sexuality but them imply that that thereisno frivolous gains but them imply that that even if some would fit preference, does not undo allthe assaults that are beyond good and evil that it iiiiis about them…

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[keelywolfe]

FIC: Biting Off More Than You Can Chew; part 8

Summary: Rus is dealing with all of this just fine, thanks. Denial is is a form of dealing and it's working so far.

Tags: heatfic, dubious consent, NSFW, frenemies to lovers, mates, first time, more if I think of them

PLEASE READ THE TAGS: This is a Heat story, so there are going to be issues of consent. I don’t do partner rape, nope, but hey, I want to be straight with y’all. I like heatfics personally, but I understand how they can be troubling for some people. So there it is.

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~~*~~

The door to his room slamming open was not Rus’s preferred way to wake up. He was accustomed enough to it to only roll over with a groan, dragging the blankets with him. It was a fucking shame that shortcuts needed an end point, because right then disappearing sounded like a winner, winner, chicken dinner.

He buried his face into his ragged pillow, groaning, “bro, please.”

“Good morning!” Blue sang out and Rus peered out from beneath the blanket, reluctantly amused in spite his internal child pleading for more sleep. Rus was probably the only one in all the Universes who could the vindictiveness past that bright cheer. Particularly when Blue went to the window and threw open the curtains to let the artificial sunlight pour in.

“blueeee,” Rus whined out. “you’re supposed to love and care for me, not torture me.”

“I love and care for you by not allowing you to sleep all day,” Blue scolded. “Wasting your life away in naps!

“papyrus would have let sans nap.” Rus said slyly. As expected, Blue puffed up like a cat stuck beneath a rocking chair. He didn’t like comparisons being made between them, particularly ones that weren’t in his favor.

“Papyrus would have picked Sans and carried him to his station,” Blue said tartly. ”You’re just lucky I care too much about my spinal health. And anyway, you should have told me you were home, that note of yours was a little vague, don’t you think?”

“sorry, bro.” It wasn’t like Rus was about to tell him that he hadn’t been able to come up with a delicate way to phrase, ‘gotta go fuck Edge to save his life. bbiab.’

He’d gone with a simple, ‘back in a couple days, will pick up sock when return.’ Nice and vague. Especially since the untold story had picked up a few extra chapters that Rus hadn’t planned on. But Blue wouldn’t ask; he respected some boundaries and if Rus didn’t want to tell him, he wouldn’t push.

Just went to prove that Rus absolutely didn’t deserve his bro, but he was damn well keeping him anyway.

For all the sleep he’d gotten, Rus still felt tired, looking muzzily around the room. Scattered around were half-filled honey bottles, crumpled cigarette packs and dirty socks. Blue was very particular about the rest of the house but allowed Rus to keep his own room in a constant state of disaster without much fuss. His distaste was still obvious as he picked his way through the mess to the bed.

Whatever scolding plans were on the agenda were set aside when he got close enough for a good look. His stern cheer faded into genuine concern. "Are you feeling all right? Do you really need to lay down longer, honestly, don't get up if you're coming down with something."

"nah, bro, i'm fine." He was fine, absolutely fine. Maybe Edge was eating a little too much of the Underfell Cocoa Puffs because aside from being achingly sore, Rus felt perfectly fine. Not bonded, thanks, not even a little.

He still wasn't really clear on what that even meant. Maybe it was worth going to see Undyne again, for a little more research for his ‘manga’? See if her little instruction manual had a footnote or two on troubleshooting.

But what was the point? It wouldn’t change anything and besides, he was a little low on bribery material to get through Undyne’s front door. And anyway, he really didn’t feel any different. Maybe Edge was wrong, what the fuck did he know about it, anyway? It wasn’t like there were studies on the effect of heat bonds between cross-universes constants or something.

Blue stripped off a glove and laid his hand against Rus’s forehead, all his cheer congealing into a fat ball of worry that he was preparing to toss right into Rus’s lap. Rus pushed his hand away impatiently. “i’m not sick, i’m just—” bonded “—sore. guess i overdid it."

From his doubtful look, Blue wasn’t buying it and Rus couldn’t blame him. Overexerting himself wasn’t exactly the most believable story from his library and he didn’t really want to explain that it was actually the truth. But true to his nature, Blue rallied with a smile and didn’t poke his nasal aperture into what Rus could have possibly been doing to achieve any level of exertion, much less one that left him sore.

“Why don’t I draw you a bath then?” he offered brightly.

“bro, that sounds like a fucking dream,” Rus said honestly.

“Language,” Blue scolded but his smile was indulgent. Before he could walk away, Rus caught hold of the hem of his shirt, yanking him back despite his flailing into a tight hug.

“Papy,” Blue complained. He snuggled in happily though, letting Rus take comfort in his brother’s presence.

It would be fine. He’d dealt with plenty of bullshit over the years, what was one more silly thing? Even if he did end up going into heat every few months, spending a night banging Edge wasn’t that bad in the scheme of things. All that crap about bonding was probably another load of Underfell bullshit that he could toss into the growing fertilizer pile.

In the end, he let his brother draw him a bath, shooing Blue out of the room before stripping off his clothes. He caught sight of the bite mark on his collarbone in the mirror and paused, reaching up to touch the healing wound. The outline of Edge’s teeth was still clearly visible, and he wondered distantly if it would scar that way.

He sank into the water with a groan, let the heat leach away some of his aches and pains. It was gonna be all right and if he knew his brother, and he did, then there was going to be an extra-special breakfast waiting for him when he got out.

He really hoped it wasn’t pancakes.

~~*~~

For the next couple days, everything went back to normal. Rus stopped feeling like his legs were going to pop out of his hip sockets, spent his time playing sentry alongside sleeping too much, smoking too much, drinking too much and not listening enough to his brother scolding him about it. He didn’t get any weird or cryptic text messages, didn’t hear a peep from Underfell at all, which was just how he liked it.

Aside from a couple of memes from Papyrus, he didn’t hear anything at all from any of the other ‘verses and when movie night rolled in that weekend, Rus decided his initial strategy of lemon-concentrated avoidance might be unnecessary. May as well give it a shot; it’d make Blue happy and, honestly, the Underfell brothers might not even show up.

Red in particular might want to stay away for a fucking year or so, and there was a bruise Rus didn’t really feel like pushing on right now.

Before anyone else showed up, Rus claimed the prime position on the sofa, lounging to watch as Blue puttered around. He stepped over Rus’s legs almost absently as he set up plenty of snacks on the coffee table.

A knock at the door heralded the beginning and Blue darted over to answer it.

“Hello!” Blue chirped eagerly. Papyrus and Sans stood in the doorway, and wasn’t language an interesting thing that allowed you to count Papyrus’s ruler-straight posture and Sans’s slump both as standing.

“hiya, short stuff,” Sans said easily, ignoring Blue’s visible outage. At his height, Rus was never gonna know the joy of taunting the only person an inch shorter than himself, but he couldn’t much blame Sans for indulging in it.

“hey, guys,” Rus called, drowning out Blue’s sputtering. “how’s tricks?”

“We have no tricks as we are not magicians!” Papyrus told him happily. “But we are doing very well as Monsters, thank you!”

“yeah, not doing bad,” Sans agreed. There was a covered bowl in his hands. “Monstered up the energy to get here, anyway.”

Rus grinned. “right to our front door, yeah, but your bro probably thinks that’s a porch choice of words.”

“eh, maybe, but knowing we were coming here was a good way to get me movieing.”

“Sans! Would you please stop your incessant punning and give Blue our snack offering!” Papyrus scolded, snatching away the covered bowl in his brother’s hands. But his smile was sly as he told Blue, “I know that you always have plenty of food, but we brought something else to in jest! Movies do have certain snack requirements; I hope it’s not too corn-troversial.”

A knock interrupt them and whether it was delight at another guest or relief that it interrupted the pun-ishment, Rus didn’t know, but Blue lunged for the door, swinging it open with a cheerful, “Welcome!”

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

Edge was standing in the doorway. He wasn’t wearing his uniform, actually in jeans for once, his hands tucked in his pockets and he looked as constipated as ever but—

“Hi, Edge!” Blue said cheerily, not noticing his brother’s frozen stare. He held open the door for him to step inside. “We’re so glad you could make it!”

“Hello.” Edge nodded to him and the others. His gaze barely brushed over Rus.

“Oh, where’s Red?” Blue asked in dismay.

“He wasn’t able to come tonight.” He didn’t offer more, and there was more chatter, more greetings, but Rus didn’t really hear it.

Everything was coming at him through a sort of fog, barely registering, and he was unable to tear his eye lights away from Edge.

Oh, fuck, he could feel him. Like some kind of fucked up double vision only it was emotions laid over top of his own.

They weren’t his, didn’t feel like his. Ghostly wisps of wariness/ affection/ safety because Edge was fond of Blue, sure, felt safe in their home and Rus hadn’t known, he…he hadn’t…

He and Edge had never gotten along, rubbed against each other with all the friction of Velcro strips. Edge had less patience for puns than Blue and Papyrus put together, always griping at Rus and Sans for their lazy ways, an all-around fucking killjoy. But to think he was so tense in his own world that the first thing he felt in their home was safety, fuck, that was—

For that first, frozen moment, Rus didn’t realize he’d stopped breathing. Not until an ache started in his chest, his magic starved for oxygen, and only then did he suck in a huge, painful breath.

His soul ached from trying to manifest even as he desperately kept it back. It felt like it was yearning towards Edge, like there was a chunk of it torn away and Edge held that missing piece.

Rus didn’t realize he’d made a low, whining sound until he noticed everyone staring at him with varying levels of concern.

Including Edge, who looked coolly impatient but felt worried/ concerned.

“Papy?”

He jerked wildly at the sound of his brother’s voice. Blue was standing right next to him and he hadn’t even fucking seen him. His eye lights were soft, his concern visible rather than felt. “Are you all right?”

“yeah,” Rus blurted. He could feel a trickle of sweat running down the side of his skull and wiped it away on his sleeve, ignoring the tremble in his hand. “i just. i need.” He stood, fumbling in his hoodie pocket. “i need a smoke.”

Blue’s expression shifted to one of exasperation, but that underlying concern lingered. “You just had one!”

“i need another.” He almost stumbled on his way around the coffee table, taking the opposite side than Edge’s and flapped a hand at them. “go ahead and start the movie, i’ll be back before the credits are done.”

The cold air struck him as he stepped outside, cooling some of the roiling inside him. A cigarette helped more, and Rus blew out a slow stream of smoke, rubbing at his temples.

Okay, that shit was not cool and if that was what ‘bonded’ meant then Rus wanted off at the next stop for this fucked-up train. How the fuck was that anything like normal, there was no fucking way anyone in Underfell was dealing with that shit on the 24/7.

The more he thought about it, the more Rus was convinced he had to have imagined it. Had to be. All his pointed repression of the past few days was coming back to haunt him like the ghost of a bad burrito at 2am. He just needed to deal for a couple of hours and then Edge would head home, and he could go back to his campaign of blissful ignorance.

Yeah, a couple hours was all. He could do this. Rus snuffed out his cigarette and dropped the butt into the can by the door. Took a deep breath to steady his nerves and stepped back inside.

And froze.

Edge was sitting on the sofa on the opposite side Rus usually sat, Blue next to him and whatever the movie was, it wasn’t compelling enough yet for everyone not to look up at Rus. But there was only one set of eye lights that made him want to step forward, to reach out and take hold, pulling someone (Edge) in. It was like a hook in his soul trying to pull him from the cool blue depths of denial towards Edge. Worse, he wanted to follow that compulsion, he wanted to be close to him, wanted.

Instead, he resisted it, ignored any voices, that fucking concern and went to the kitchen. He slumped against the counter, his skull resting on his folded arms and that want only ached harder, sinking its teeth into his soul.

“Rus?” His name, all crisp syllables and more of that concern lapped over him.

Rus whirled around with a gasp, stumbling back, his hands outstretched as if to hold it back. “don’t!”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Edge kept back and sounded exasperated, all tight, curt words, but he felt, fuck, he felt wounded, like seeing a face coming out from behind a mask.

“i know,” Rus gasped. He did, he couldn’t help knowing.

Edge took a step closer. “Then why are you afraid of me?”

He shook his head helplessly. Behind Edge, the doorknob twisted, but didn’t open, catching on the lock and Rus could only be grateful that Edge’d had the foresight to lock the door.

“Papy? Are you all right?” His brother’s voice, muffled through the door, and Rus couldn’t deal with that, not now because Edge was coming closer to him, one slow step at a time.

“don’t touch me!” Rus pleaded, because he couldn’t, he couldn’t deal with this. Edge looked irritated, but that wasn’t the truth, it was a lie, all a lie, because Rus could feel it. The expression seemed like anger, but the emotion was wounded/ worried.

“I want to help.”

“i know,” Rus managed, “i know, fuck, but please! don’t.” His sockets felt wet, dampness sliding down his cheekbones and Edge was right in front of him all that concern/ worry/ concern and he wanted so desperately to lean into it.

“All right,” Edge said, quietly soothing. “You’ll be all right. Listen to me, it’s hitting you hard right now because it didn’t have a chance to stabilize before you left. You need to control it.”

“how!?”

“Push it down.”

Rus only shook his head wildly “i can’t, i can’t, fuck, this—how can anyone live like this?” He couldn’t stop feeling him, it was all there in front of him, he couldn’t.

The knocking was getting louder and fuck, he didn’t want Blue to see him like this, didn’t want to explain, he didn’t. Edge frowned at the door, but didn’t answer the increasing loud calls from Blue.

“All right,” Edge stepped close and took hold of Rus’s upper arms. It was all Rus could do to keep from sagging into that touch. “Take us somewhere else.”

Rus looked at him in blank surprise. “you hate teleporting.”

It was one of his more hilarious memories after they’d all met. Rus was used to dragging his brother around and as far as he knew, Red and Sans did the same. So, the one time he’d been in a snit because Edge stole his favorite seat, Rus hadn’t hesitated. He’d teleported them both outside and he’d meant to go back in immediately to take his seat back. Only to stare in shock as Edge fell to his knees and vomited magic into the snow.

Since he wasn’t a complete asshole, he ended up let Edge have the disputed chair amidst a firm scolding from his bro. The only good thing that came out of it was the knowledge that he shouldn’t do that again and that Edge didn’t puke on either of their shoes.

This time the pulse of emotion matched Edge’s exasperated glare. “I’m aware of that. Would you rather have your brother as a chaperone for this? I’ll be fine, it’s not as bad when I’m expected it.”

Yeah, no, someplace else suddenly sounded like an excellent plan. Rus closed his sockets and focused, taking them both to a far, hidden corner in Waterfall.

The moment the void cleared, Edge staggered away from him, breathing deeply, and Rus almost fell to his own knees as he was swamped by nausea that wasn’t his own.

Holy fuck, if that was what teleporting felt like for him, Rus wouldn’t be doing it unless he was in danger of losing a limb.

It eased off quickly and Rus sank down on the bench as the nausea was replaced again with concern/ worry.

“All right,” Edge sat down next to him. “Now listen to me. Can you feel it?”

“yes,” Rus gasped wetly, close, Edge was so close, too close, and he wanted to touch, wanted to get closer, wanted—

“Now imagine putting a wall around it.”

Rus shook his head desperately. He couldn’t, he didn’t want to, “i can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” Edge said firmly. “I want you to picture it. Putting up a wall, brick by brick, surrounding it. Blocking everything on the other side until it’s only you inside it.”

Listening to that low, soothing voice, Rus pictured it. One brick after another, walling off emotions that weren’t his own and eventually, it was gone, blocked off and away.

Rus took a long, shaky breath and only then realized he was sitting hunched forward, his skull in his hands. His clothes were clinging to him sweatily and he felt like he’d run from the ruins to New Home.

There was a cool hand on the back of his neck, a thumb rubbing circles on his cervical vertebrae, but no emotions came through that carefully soothing touch. Shaky as he was, the only feelings he had were his own and he could shake that hand away without feeling the urge to chase after it for more.

“thanks,” Rus said grudgingly.

“You’re welcome, but I can’t claim my motives as entirely altruistic.” Edge leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands hanging loosely between them. This little alcove in Waterfall was secluded enough that Rus had never seen anyone else and had no idea how the bench even got here. He came here a lot, his secret little place and in his panic earlier, he’d come to his safe spot. It felt strange to have Edge here with him, of all places, even as Edge went on. “Having a front row seat to your panic is the exact opposite of a relaxing evening out.”

“that’s fair.” The aftermath was aching in his skull like a Monday morning hangover, but Edge didn’t look any more or less constipated than normal, what the fuck. “how are you so much better at dealing with this?”

“Perhaps I’m simply more accustomed to dealing with situations that can’t be changed.” Edge smiled thinly. “Or perhaps it’s because one of the only readily available pieces of literature in Underfell is a manual on dealing with heat issues.”

“that’s not fair. i had to hit up the black market library for mine.”

“I’ll get you a copy if you want.”

Silence between them. For a moment there was nothing but the endless burble of water.

“why is this happening? why us?” If they’d been anywhere else, still sitting in the kitchen or Edge’s bedroom, anywhere, Rus wasn’t sure he could’ve asked. He didn’t want answers, he wanted it to go away. But sitting here with Edge next to him in his secret place and the memory of his concern fresh in his mind, along with the touch of his hand soothing on his neck, eh, may as well.

Edge didn’t say anything at first, only shifted to cross one leg over the other, staring out at the rippling pond. Finally, he said, slowly, “I don’t know. There wasn’t much study done on why certain Monsters were compatible with bonding. At least not in Underfell. But…Monsters aren’t meant to be solitary. Our souls crave others of our kind. Perhaps bonding was an evolutionary way to ensure it.”

It was a hell of a speech, but somehow, it didn’t sit right. It felt a little off, like it was one sidestep away from the truth, but Rus didn’t know how to say that without making it seem pissy. Arguing was dead last on the list of things he felt like doing right now, so he only said, lightly, “thanks professor, let me know how your thesis goes.”

Edge didn’t crack a smile but there was the faintest perception of amusement. That, at least, Rus could handle.

For a brief second, he remembered being in Edge’s bed, his gentle care even when it melted into eagerness, the pleasure of it, and almost Rus was tempted to lean in and take a kiss, see if that mouth tasted like he remembered.

He tossed another brick on that urge, squashing it flat. Fuck knew if this heat thing worked out the way Edge said it would, he’d get his chance.

The longer they were here alone, the more Rus wanted to be anywhere else. “ready to head back?”

“I think I’d prefer to walk. Fighting back nausea once is enough for me.”

“great!” Rus said cheerily. “have fun with that.”

He didn’t wait another second, already shortcutting away before Edge could protest. He didn’t go far, stayed close enough to hear Edge snarl his name, his exasperated muttering. But Rus hung back, hidden around the corner to make sure Edge solved the puzzle of how to get to the main path. The walk home wouldn’t take him long once he found it, Rus just wanted to make sure he headed the right way.

Maybe Edge could feel him there, he didn’t know. But he sure as fuck couldn’t feel Edge and that suited him fine.

 ~~*~~

tbc

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underfell papyrus #underswap papyrus #biting off more than you can chew

[splitting-infinities]

Crime and Pun-ishment

A Miraculous Ladybug Reveal Fic

In celebration of the 2 Year anniversary of the publication of my reveal oneshot series, Behind the Masks, I’ve posted some old favorites from the fic this weekend!  This is the last one for now; I hope you enjoyed them!

Summary:   A Detective AU. By day, Marinette works as her alter-ego, a masked detective named Ladybug. Her mission is to track down Adrien Agreste, who has been missing for eight years. Her case partner, Chat Noir, thinks he can help her with that.

Also available on: FF as part of a reveal oneshot series Length: 4,861 words Is there a happy ending? Yes. Rated: K+/Gen

Available to read below.  Enjoy!

The clients who walked into the Lucky Bug detective agency typically weren't having the best day. So when a very attractive, smiling man entered the office through the glimmering glass door, everyone noticed. Alya, the PR head who sat closest to the door, was the first to notify Ladybug, the owner of the agency. From behind the closed door to Ladybug's private office, a message popped up on the computer screen.

ALYA: A beautiful man just walked in. Do you have a secret fiancé we don't know about?

This was followed by two more messages from the agency's forensic analysts.

NINO: Who's your new boyfriend? :D

MYLENE: Do we have a new client? Or are we being robbed? He's wearing a cat mask. Looks like Zorro.

And finally, Ladybug's receptionist, who guarded the rickety staircase that led to the second floor private offices, rang in.

CHLOE: A guy just asked to see you. No appointment. If I were in your shoes, I'd let him up. Even if his case is a dead end, he's drop dead gorgeous.

CHLOE: Even though he's wearing a cat mask. I just know. I've dated enough hot guys to know these things.

Ladybug typed a response to Chloe.

LADYBUG: Hmmm. Sounds like Chat Noir.

CHLOE: You know this hottie?

LADYBUG: Maybe. ;) I'm curious as to why he's here. Send him up.

CHLOE: Curiosity killed the cat, you know…if you let him up, I don't get to keep looking at him. Don't ruin this for me.

LADYBUG: Chloe…this is your job.

There was a pause, and Alya interrupted.

ALYA: I expect details later, LB.

CHLOE: …Fine. He'll be at your door in 3…2…

There was a knock on the door.

Ladybug adjusted her spotted red mask and called, "Come in!"

She had always thought of Chat as a good friend. They'd worked a few cases together in the past, having started their agencies around the same time. But they had only ever worked from his office at Chaos Cat Agency ("The Claws of the Law", according to the slogan on the door), so he'd never come to her office before.

She thought she'd get used to his striking appearance, but it seemed that was impossible. Even in disguise, his green eyes were still vulnerable and kind. His muscles remained defined even under a black suit and green tie, and he had a crooked grin that nothing seemed to shake.

But something was different this time – he was fidgety. Excited. She scrutinized him; the way one hand was clutching a file folder with a slick black pen clipped to the side, the way the cat-eye mask clung to his chiseled cheekbones, and the way he waltzed to the black armchair opposite her desk and sat down. The file suggested I have news, the mask told her I have a secret, and the cheekbones, well…

She wished she could see his whole face, or that she knew who he really was. Detectives often wore masks to protect themselves from being targeted by the killers they hunted. Ladybug had spent the last five years hunting down red-handed psychos and whodunit husbands, and in her line of work, she was grateful for the anonymity. She couldn't begrudge him that same protection.

"What can I do for you, Chat? You seem…happy."

"I have something you're going to want."

She rolled her eyes. "Is this another pickup line? I thought we talked about this already. No more."

"No, not a pickup line." He held out the file to her with a gloved hand. She took it, and he continued, "I know you're a machine at closing cases. I've loved working with you in the past. We make good partners. But…I also know about the one case you haven't solved, and thought I could be of some assistance."

Ladybug blinked. "What? How did you – that's personal! Why would-"

"I have information that might change your suspect list. And if what I know intrigues you enough, I was hoping we could work the case together."

"If you're referring to the Adrien Agreste disappearance-"

He raised an eyebrow. "I am."

"-that case is off limits." She set the file on the desk and crossed her arms.

His eyes narrowed. "Is it now?"

"Look, I've already been down that road. I'm not putting myself through that again. Adrien and his father had a fight, and then Adrien vanished. As much as I would love to link his disappearance to the Hawkmoth serial killings, there isn't evidence to support it. He was eighteen, far too young to be in the age range of Hawkmoth's victims. And if there was a…body-" she grimaced, "we would have found it by now. The searches were comprehensive, and it's been eight years."

"That may have been true before," Chat interrupted, "but we can link him to Hawkmoth now."

"What do you mean?"

He flicked open the file folder he'd brought and spread out three photos. Two were time stamped yesterday. Both were blurry, taken at night without a flash. One was of a spray painted Hawkmoth symbol – a purple moth outline inside a circle – on a brick wall, and the shadow of a man with a familiar profile. The other showed a pair of one-of-a-kind Agreste Fashion shoes under an open black car door.

"These," he said, "are photos of Gabriel Agreste entering and exiting Springtrap Alley the night of the most recent Hawkmoth murder, before the police showed up."

"Springtrap Alley?"

"It's the site of the most recent murder. Grisly. Involved a jaguar stolen from the zoo."

They both shuddered.

"That symbol could just be copycat graffiti," Ladybug shrugged. "Plus, why would Gabriel be there anyway? He wouldn't dare get blood on those shoes, and how could he have known where the murder was going to be?"

Chat bent closer to the photo and tapped the corner, where Gabriel's shoe had a smudge on the heel in the same violet paint. "See that? He painted the symbol himself. Recently. And if Hawkmoth's other killings are any indication, that symbol is nearly impossible to forge. All the details are the same here. I even had a criminal graphologist double check. Gabriel knows Hawkmoth's signature. Either he's a phenomenal forger, or he's the real killer."

Ladybug frowned. "Where did you get these photos?"

"These photos were taken by one of the witnesses living in the building across the street from the alley. I have a cop friend who has access to the evidence. She made me copies."

"Please don't tell me this cop friend is Lila."

He grinned.

Ladybug recoiled in disgust. "And she gave you crime scene photos? I ought to tell her superior."

"They just had a double kidnapping and three other murders; Ivan has enough to deal with right now. Leave him out of this."

"Are you friends with all the cops?"

"Playing poker makes everyone friends, Ladybug."

She poked at the photos. "Back on topic. You're sure these are genuine?"

"Very."

"And they're definitely of Gabriel Agreste?"

"Yep. And if that's Gabriel, he's also Hawkmoth."

She sat back, horrified.

Chat lifted his eyebrows. "Told you it was a game changer."

"If he's Hawkmoth," Ladybug murmured, her heart sinking, "he probably killed his son. Maybe Adrien found out the truth and was going to expose him, but didn't escape in time."

"Or," Chat countered, "he did escape with the truth and went into hiding to bide his time."

"If that's the case, where is he? Why hasn't he come back to expose Hawkmoth? What's he waiting for?"

"Perhaps two very good detectives. Or the right evidence." He gestured to the photos. "I've been looking for evidence like this for a while now, and this is a huge windfall. What do you say, do we have a case?" He was smiling broadly at her, waiting for her to say yes. Something about him always made her say yes.

Ladybug blew out a breath. "All right."

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. His hand was surprisingly warm under his gloves. He closed the file, pushed it toward her, and stood up to leave.

Ladybug stood up too. "Wait. Can I ask you a question?"

He nodded.

"Why would you bring this case to me? How did you know I couldn't solve it the first time? Or that I even tried at all?"

She was surprised to find he had an answer.

Chat sat forward in his chair. "Because I watched you investigate a lot, back when I was setting up my agency. I studied you for tips on how to improve my own detective work."

Now this was interesting. "You followed me?"

"You're easy to…ah…spot in that costume."

Not another pun.

"Did you ever suspect Adrien's father?"

Chat Noir tilted his head forward. "Always, but I could never prove it. I also didn't think I could do it on my own. But if we worked together, maybe we could take Hawkmoth down once and for all."

Ladybug sat back in her chair, adjusting her face mask again. "Well then," she sighed. "I sincerely hope Gabriel didn't kill his own son. Let's find the truth."

"Pawsome." Chat strode to the door. "I'll be in touch. Oh, and My Lady, be careful," he warned. "This could get dangerous."

"I'm always careful."

"I know. But just for the record, as a detective, I may catch the bad guys, but I keep the good guys alive too. That includes you."

"You don't have to," she said. "I appreciate the gesture, but I can take care of myself."

"I'm sure you can." He bent his head and some of his hair fell into his eyes. "But something about your charm seems to bring out the guardian in me. I still promise to protect you, though I hope you never need it, My Lady."

She blinked. Did he just call her charming?

"Thank you," she stammered, but he was already gone.

When Ladybug walked out of the office that afternoon, she had hardly made it down the stairs when her employees accosted her with questions. It was all she could do to give them the details of the new case without getting interrupted again with requests for information on the guy himself. By the time everyone was up to speed, it was much too late to go investigate any cases without getting chased out by someone in their slippers.

Ladybug was the last to leave the agency; closing up shop for the night and flicking off the lights. Only when she was a block away from her apartment did she slip into the shadows and remove her mask.

She changed clothes in the lobby bathroom of the fancy hotel on the corner, and finished off the costume change by sprinkling some flour from a plastic bag onto her clothes and hair.

In an instant, she was no longer a detective. She was Marinette, who told everyone she worked two jobs: selling and designing clothes at a charming boutique in the mornings, then baking pastries in the afternoons. With this lie, she was protected from the vengeful criminals who hunted her alter ego. She took one last look in the mirror and hurried another two blocks west to her apartment; if she was out any later, she'd be keeping her roommate awake. Alya always waited for her to get home; she said it was dangerous to walk around Paris alone at night and insisted she would only go to bed when Marinette finally walked through the door. It would have been pointless to argue.

Even though the two of them actually spent every day working together at the agency, Alya didn't know that and she never would. She would never dream that her best friend was also…kind of her boss. Marinette intended to keep it that way.

She swung the apartment door open and stepped into the hallway to remove her raincoat. She then made her way into the living room, rolling up the sleeves of her red sweater in the forgiving warmth. Her joy at being home was suddenly derailed when she realized someone was sitting in her armchair, and it wasn't Alya.

She approached until she finally caught a good glimpse of him, and then froze. Chat Noir was sitting there, looking nervous and clutching a mug of tea. Meanwhile, Alya sat on the couch opposite him, practically drooling.

Marinette bit back a surprised "Chat?" as she quickly remembered she was no longer Ladybug. As far as Chat knew, he'd never met her before. She would just have to play dumb.

"Hi. Who's this?" she asked kindly.

Alya looked up in excitement, and Chat shot out of the chair, looking startled. Was he…blushing?

"Sorry. Hi, you must be Marinette. I'm Chat Noir. I'm a detective." He held out a gloved hand and she shook it, trying to look charmed. That was how most girls acted around him, right? If Alya was any indication, then yes.

"Hi," she squeaked. "What's going on? Is something wrong?"

"Chat came in to the agency today," Alya said, standing to join them at the same eye level. "He and Ladybug are going to find Adrien. I gave him our address on his way out so he could stop by."

"Oh? Why?"

Chat was still shaking Marinette's hand. She wished he would stop. He didn't, though, and instead just launched into his explanation. "Well, I know you and Adrien were close before his disappearance, and didn't want it to be a surprise to you that we were reopening the investigation."

"He was my boyfriend," she said pointedly, and he finally let go of her hand with a look of embarrassment. He blushed even more. Maybe it wasn't Alya who was making him act weird. Maybe it was her. But why?

He cleared his throat. "Uh, I also was hoping that you could stop by Chaos Cat Agency at some point; I'd love to know if you have any information we can use to find him." Then, he produced a business card from thin air and passed it to her. "Here's my number. Call me tomorrow and we'll set up a date. Uh, I mean, a meeting."

"Oh, okay. Thanks." Here's my number? A date? She frowned, wondering what was up with him. He was never this…awkward. Usually he was debonair and smooth. She'd never known him to blush.

Alya was watching their interaction as though she was watching Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet meet in real life. Like she wanted them to fall in love or something. The thought of being in love with Chat was…interesting, Marinette had to admit, but her heart was still reserved.

Alya knew this. Neither of them was great at dating. Alya had been with Nino for so long that she wouldn't even know how to date again. Marinette was so emotionally closed off after what happened to Adrien that she hadn't even gone out for so much as a coffee with anyone new. She'd had offers and flirtations lobbed at her for years, of course, but she only knew this because Alya had told her so after the fact. For all intents and purposes, she was oblivious.

After one look at Marinette's confused face, Alya sent Chat on his way. "Well, it was great to meet you," she said, steering him to the door. Over his shoulder, she wiggled her eyebrows at Marinette as if to say, He's totally your type!

In response, she rolled her eyes.

When Alya had closed the door and locked it with a click, Marinette finally relaxed. She pocketed Chat's card without even looking at it. She already knew his number by heart.

Marinette dialed Chat the next day while walking to work. It was weird to be dialing him as someone else for once, but she didn't think it could go wrong as long as she kept up pretenses. She was wrong.

He picked up the phone with a smooth "How's it going, Ladybug?"

She stopped in her tracks in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, and was buffeted by people holding grocery bags and briefcases.

"This isn't Ladybug. It's Marinette. Don't you have caller ID?"

There was a pause on the other line that lasted almost a minute. Marinette started to wonder if he'd hung up, until his voice startled her so much she almost dropped her phone into a puddle.

"Oh," he said, sounding frantic. "Uh, okay. Right. Marinette. Marinette." There was another pause and he gave a high pitched laugh that sounded anything but carefree. What was wrong with him?

"You wanted me to schedule some time to meet with you about Adrien?"

"Right, right…right. Right." He then muttered something unintelligible.

Was he having a stroke? "Are you okay?"

"Fine. Great. Spectacular!" he said, a little too loudly. "How does tomorrow, my office, at five sound? After you're done with work?"

"How do you know when I get off work?"

Another long pause. "I'm a detective."

"Oooookay then. See you tomorrow." She hung up, gave her phone a befuddled look, and set up the meeting in her calendar. She made her way calmly to work, and had an exceedingly normal day of interviews, phone calls, and stakeouts at the Agreste mansion.

Meanwhile, Chat Noir didn't leave his office all day, and was overheard by his staff shouting "It's impossible!", "Crap!", and "YAAAAAASSSS!" at random moments. There were also slamming noises, occasional dancing footsteps, and frequent, uncontrollable, panicked laughter.

The staff at Chaos Cat was well accustomed to Chat's strange ways and were paid to ignore it. They did not investigate further.

The following day, Marinette arrived precisely at five at the Chaos Cat Agency. The place was practically deserted, except for the eccentric receptionist, who insisted his name was Plagg "with two 'g's".

Plagg led her up to the third floor, down a long white hallway, past an empty full-size kitchen and lounge, to a closed wooden door. Marinette knocked on it gently, then turned to ask Plagg where everyone was, but he was already gone.

The door opened slowly, and Chat stood there, looking rather disheveled in a wrinkled black suit, but calmer than he'd sounded on the phone.

"Hi, Marinette," he said. "Come in." He walked back to his desk and sat, wringing his hands.

The place was a wreck. A glass vase was broken in the far corner and its flowers were beached on the carpet around a water stain. Papers littered the wood floor, and two of the client chairs were overturned. She righted one of them and sat down.

Behind Chat's head was a massive chalkboard covered in writing. Pictures of Gabriel and Adrien Agreste were taped to it, with white arrows drawn to other photos. Marinette recognized herself, Ladybug, Alya, and even Nino. Coffee-stained newspaper articles were taped up beside them, illustrating the entire story of Adrien's disappearance and the Hawkmoth murders.

"What questions did you have for me?" she asked, not sure where they should start.

He didn't meet her eyes and focused on the flour she'd applied to her hair and black sweater just for the occasion. She even was wearing a cinnamon bun fragrance to cultivate the impression she'd just come from the bakery. As she watched his face, he looked inexplicably upset.

"You don't really work in a bakery, do you?" he asked.

She didn't answer. Her heart rate began to pulse in her ears.

"Do you?" he pressed.

"What kind of question is that?" she finally retorted.

"The kind of question I need the answer to. Be honest with me. You don't work in a bakery."

She crossed her arms tightly. "I don't see how that question is relevant to Adrien's disappearance." Perhaps it would be harder to hide her secrets than she'd thought. Was he on to her? What did he know? How did he find out?

Chat shook his head and decided to change the subject. "Okay, different question. If I could tell you I found Adrien, would you want to see him?"

"You found-"

"I said if," he interrupted.

"Then it depends. If he's not dead, I want to see him. But if he's dead, I don't…want to see…that."

"Nor should you want to," he agreed. "If he was alive, and had been in hiding for eight years, trying to prove his father guilty, as I told Ladybug he might have done, would you be angry he never contacted you?"

Marinette shifted in her seat. "Is that true? That he's here in Paris, just hiding?"

He cleared his throat. "Hypothetically."

"Okay. Hypothetically. It depends. If he had good reason for avoiding me, I could understand that."

"So if I took you to see Adrien, right now, you'd be happy to see him? You wouldn't, ah, slap him, or like, kill him, or anything?"

"Of course not!" She frowned. "But would he want to see me?"

"He would rather die than not see you." She raised her eyebrows, and he added, "Hypothetically."

"Why are you asking me this? I thought the whole point of this meeting was to find him. It sounds like you already have."

"Well, um. Finding him might…ah…may be easier than I thought. And harder."

"Look, can you just explain what's going on? I'm not a mind reader-"

"No, you're right," Chat said, then stood from his desk. "I just…I need to figure out how to say this."

Marinette watched him rove around the room at a stiff pace. Finally, he started talking as he paced. His voice was trembling.

"When you called me to set up the meeting…No, here, I'll start at the beginning. Do you know how my phone system works?"

She shook her head.

"Well, I have two phones. I have the client line for appointments and scheduling, and that goes through Plagg. And then I have a line reserved for Ladybug. I wanted to ensure that if she called, it went directly to me. I didn't want people in my office to know we worked together unless it was relevant; I didn't want either of us to put the other in danger during a particularly bad case. If criminals knew we worked together, they'd try to use one of us to hurt the other. So I wanted to avoid that. That's why I always insisted we meet at my office, so I could control the environment. As you probably noticed, my staff leaves when I need privacy." He gestured to the door.

Then, his green eyes narrowed as he finally looked her in the eye. "When you called to schedule this meeting with me, you used Ladybug's hotline. Not the client number I gave you."

Oh no. "I can explain-" No, she couldn't.

He kept talking. "I thought perhaps it was because Alya works at the agency and might have somehow given it to you, but I ruled that out for two reasons. First, why would you need the number from her if you had my card? And second, I heard your voice. Really heard it for the first time. I might not have put it together if I hadn't been expecting Ladybug and heard Marinette; if I hadn't realized that voice was the same for both people. So, in summary, I know for a fact that you do not work at a bakery or a boutique. You, Marinette, are Ladybug."

He finished, his cheeks looking flushed. He sat back down at his desk and waited for her to say something. Anything.

"So that's why you were weird on the phone…" she said quietly. There was no point denying her identity now.

"Yes," he said, sitting back. "But it wasn't the only reason."

"What do you mean?"

He switched subjects again without warning, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the desk. "You wanted to find Adrien, and I wanted your help. What you need to understand is, well, the fact that you're Ladybug changes everything."

"How does it change anything? Adrien's still missing. Or dead."

"No," Chat said patiently. "He isn't."

Marinette picked up her bag and stood. "Okay. Look, I don't know what kind of mind game this is, but I don't have to sit here and have you be all cryptic. My boyfriend could be lying in a ditch somewhere. Are you going to help me, or not?"

Chat Noir stood, his face wiping blank. "All right, I'll be straight with you. Adrien isn't dead. And he isn't missing. I know where he is."

"Then what are we waiting for, let's go get him!" She was halfway out the door before she realized he hadn't moved. Sensing something was wrong, she let go of the cold doorknob and turned slowly. He was just standing there with a peculiarly affectionate expression on his face.

"Come on, Chat, aren't we going to go?"

"We don't have to," he murmured. "Adrien's right here."

Marinette scanned the room as she approached the desk again, sure she would have noticed Adrien hiding in the small, messy space. But then her eyes dragged themselves back to Chat's face, and she understood.

"You? This whole time, it's been you?"

He had been here the whole time! Flaunting himself in front of her, probably enjoying messing with her while she thought he was dead! Without even thinking about it, she leaned across the desk and slapped him.

"Ouch!" he jumped back, grabbing his face in betrayal. "Ahhhh! You promised! You promised you wouldn't slap me! I asked for a reason – you've hit me before, and I know how much it hurts!"

"I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth, horrified. "It was totally a reflex! I'm so sorry! I hit you pretty hard, are you okay?"

He nodded, his lips trembling, but not out of distress. He was trying hard not to laugh. "Maybe you could kiss it? To make it feel better?"

In that moment, it was as if they'd crossed the span of eight years with one exchange; as if nothing had changed. They were still themselves, after all. They still knew each other, still loved each other, after everything. She gave a small snort, which set off a chain reaction. Soon they were both wiping tears of laughter from their eyes.

Once they'd regained some composure, her tears of laughter turned to actual tears. Marinette tried to stop crying, but she kept looking at Chat and picturing him without the disguise, and now it was easy to see Adrien there. She hadn't seen his face in eight years, and yet she'd been looking at him the whole time, never even seeing him. She felt guilty. Horrible. What kind of girlfriend did that make her?

This was made worse by the fact that Chat was crying too. Because he'd missed her. Her face crumpled, and she stood there, arms dangling awkwardly at her sides, as tears dripped down her face.

"I – I missed you," she sniffed, and felt like it was such a pitiful, understated thing to say after eight years apart. But what else could she say? Now she knew he'd been hiding in plain sight, helping her with the Hawkmoth case on purpose so he could come back for real. And he'd even gotten tongue-tied when he'd visited her apartment because he couldn't pretend he didn't love her.

Her eyes shut as more tears made their escape, and before she could open them again, she heard Chat – Adrien – move from behind the desk. In seconds, his arms were around her, and it was like coming home. She tucked her head between his neck and chest and hugged him back.

"I missed you too," he whispered.

"I am so glad you're okay! I'm even more glad you're not dead! But I definitely want to get a hold of your father and cut off -"

"We'll have time for that," he chuckled. "But let's not ruin this moment. I've been dreaming about this for so long."

"Compared to your imagination, how do we measure up?"

"There's nothing as good as the real thing."

He bent so his chin rested against the top of her head. She could feel him breathing. "Hey," he said after a moment,"are you wearing some kind of perfume? You smell like…a bakery. I know the flour was for show…but you really went all out, didn't you?"

She sighed. "Yeah."

"You smell really good."

"Like cinnamon buns?"

"Yeah, it kind of makes me want one."

"Me too, honestly."

"Should we go get some? We can eat them and plot the official take-down of my murderous father. Because once we do that, I can go back to being Adrien full time."

"That sounds amazing."

"Where do they even sell them? Is there a shop nearby?"

"Actually, Adrien, I may not work in a bakery, but I do still have my father's best recipe. I also noticed you have a kitchen here. Why don't we bake our own? It can be a date."

"A real one?"

She stepped back so she could see him fully. He stood still as her hands crept up to his mask and removed it. "Of course. There's nothing as good as the real thing."

If you’ve enjoyed these oneshots, check out the full fic here for more reveals! Thanks for reading!

#miraculous ladybug #ml reveal fic #marichat #ladynoir #adrienette #ladrien #fic anniversary #reveal oneshot 43

[findteenpenpals]

Looking for a friend (maybe more?)

Hi there! My name’s Joseph. I’m 18 and I’m from the United States. Specifically the state that’s known for potatoes, so bonus points if you know which one I’m referring to. I hope you find US geography apeeling. Which leads me into the first of my many interests.

I love humor. All kinds, and I’m up for any of it, and I clearly make really bad puns. If you laughed, smiled, or cringed at the pun, we ought to talk. If you hate them, then just beet it. You’d be subjected to this so much, it would replace money as the root of all your problems. I do this often, and can pun with some of the best of them. 

For those of you still reading on, congratulations! Here’s a legitimate list of things I’m interested in, and hopefully, you share some of them. 

Books: I love reading. A lot. An unhealthy amount really, but reading is one my favorite things to do. Sci-fi and fantasy hold special places in my heart, but all other genres are great too. I just barely bought Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson, and am loving every single page (Considering there’s over 1000, that’s a great thing). And if you like Shakespeare, we should talk. There’s few of us left, and  we must stick together.

Video games: I play tons of games all the time. RPGs, strategy, RTS, any console/PC, I’m open to it all. I’m not currently playing anything at the moment, and would love to swap ideas/play online. 

Politics: Yes this feels oddly out of place with the puns and the games and books, but I love studying legal processes, legislative actions, and watching countries act. I would love to discuss the current political climate with someone, and in our time especially, it’s something that we ought to be having civil discourse on. 

Debate: I love debate a ton. I’m a part of the National Speech and Debate Association, have done all the styles, most of the speech events, and just love debate. 

Music: I love 80’s, soft rock, classical, orchestrated music, and various assorted songs from modern day that I don’t know how to categorize. Basically, if it’s on the radio, I probably like it. 

Sports: Kind of. I like watching sports like soccer and basketball, but I love fencing and belegarth. A medieval combat thing that uses foam swords. It’s a ton of fun, and if you’ve never heard of it, look it up. If nothing else, youtube videos of them are cool to watch.

Learning: I love school, but more importantly, i love learning about things that matter. Learning about people, and how to be a better person. I’d love to learn from you, because I know all of you have something to teach me. 

Now that you’ve made it through that blurb of text, here’s what I’m looking for. I’m looking for someone who is open to having discussions on anything. I love talking to people, and I want to hear your viewpoint. A relationship with any one of you lovely ladies would be absolutely wonderful. But honestly, with all of my puns and humor, you’d probably find it more punishment than amusing. 

Finally, I really just want a friend I can talk to. Life gets lonely at times, and there are frankly too many days when it’s just me against the world. I’d love to have someone, anyone to talk to to help out when times get rough. And I am more than willing to do the same for you. If we talk, you can know that I will always be there for you. 

Oh, one more thing before I give you my email, I also speak Portuguese, and pretend to speak Spanish because of high school. If that applies to you, great! If not, here’s my email.

phesoj13 @ gmail.com (No space, just trying to avoid spam)

I can’t wait to meet all of you! 

- Joseph

#pen pal #pen pals #penpal #penpals #pen pals wanted #boy #17 to 18 #19 to 20 #submission

[necros-writings]

Weird Things That Happen With My Characters #29

Mason took a deep breath and let it out slowly, before pointing at his brother's shirt, a simple grey tee with a picture of pizza on the front and the words 'You want a pizza me?' encircling it. "Do you even know what this says?" John took a deep breath of his own then let it out, pointing at his brother's tank top in return, which had already developed small, smoking holes. "Are you ever gonna heat proof your wardrobe?" Both siblings fell into silence, Mason almost glaring at John's pun covered shirt and the smaller brother attempting not to breathe in the smoke coming off the other, all while maintaining a judgey air. Finally, John quietly admitted, "I have no clue what my shirt says, I just asked the nice store clerk guy to give me as many pun related t-shirts as possible." He crossed his arms, the normally covered scars running over them somehow adding to his judgemental stance. "Ethan's working on something, but it'll take a few weeks to properly test out." Mason finally replied, looking away from the food related humor on John's shirt. "I thought you'd be more of a turtleneck kinda guy on your days off, since you need to conserve body heat." "I have to wear a professionally tailored suit and that coat Ethan designed in order to prefer my job properly. I'm letting my arms breathe." The pyrokinetic explained. "What about you? I thought you actually liked all the button-ups and dress pants and stuff." "I do, but it takes a lot of work to look amazing everyday. I have to have some 'me time' clothes. And I like being pun-tastic." "Are you sure we're related?" "Very." He replied with a grin. "And shouldn't you be more supportive? This is the first time I'm out in public in a short sleeve shirt since I started....counting." "I am very proud of you for that, yes, but I'm still judging you for the shirt." "Why?" "Because it says 'You want a pizza me' and I am so disappointed." "Why? I don't think it's too cheesy." John said with so serious an expression and tone of voice, Mason almost didn't catch the joke. "Did you just.....you just punned, didn't you?" "Yes. Why? Was it not very gouda?" "......I'm gonna kill you, I swear." Mason sighed, turning to walk away and find Ethan, in hopes of a more normal conversation. "Wow, that's rude. I don't think I deserve that kind of pun....ishment." "I'm leaving!" "Hey, you can't just leave me like that! I really feel like I was on fire! Oh wait, that's just you!" John called from the doorstep of Vaughn's, the Master of Therapists, office, where Mason had run into him and started the judgemental conversation about their fashion choices. "Oh my gosh, stop!" Mason shouted over his shoulder, now a block away. "I feel like your unreasonable demand is creating distance between us!" John yelled back, to which Mason simply screamed in frustration as his reply, before rounding a corner and disappearing. "Sourpuss." John giggled.

#Necro's Writings #my writing #my characters #original character #original content #original work #original writing #reading #short reads #puns #bad puns #fiction #i'm mad i didn't do this one sooner #it's so perfectly them

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

Could I request comfort scenarios for Kiyoshi, Izuki, and Mitobe and their depressed s/o, with lots of hugs please?

Hi sweetheart! Here a lot of hugs for you! Please enjoy and be happy!

Have a wonderfulday!

Kyoshi,Mitobe, Izuki x Depressed Reader,Comfort

 Kyoshi Teppei

You two were seated on the couch.Kyoshi had wrapped his legs around your body in a protective hug as you restedagainst his broad chest. He was talking quietly about funny and light stories,playing with your fingers.

Your boyfriend knew it was a difficult moment for youand he was trying to create a familiar, comfortable atmosphere. His onlypresence helped you fight that cold inside your heart.

At some point, you tensed and gripped his fingers. He stoppedspeaking and glanced down to you.

“You know,” he said softly, with a gentle smile, “ThatI love you right?”

You blinked away some tears and raised your chin tomeet his eyes.

You nodded faintly.

“I do,” He affirmed leaving a kiss on your forehead, “Andyou’re amazing as you are, please remember it,” Kyoshi added in a serious butfond tone.

You nodded again, spilling some tears of relief andsadness at the same time.

His smile widened as he tightened his hold around you.

“I’m really lucky to have you here.”

Mitobe Rinnosuke 

Mitobe had created a small fort with blankets andpillows on the floor. Now you two were lying into it in silence, cuddledtogether. He was keeping you near, with your head on his chest as he playedwith your hair.

His fingers were gentle, like butterflies, and every smalltouch screamed kindness. With the other hand, he rubbed circles on your back,slowly, as to sooth away your pain.

He didn’t say anything, but looked at you right in theeyes and they spoke for him.

He was waiting. For you to talk. For you to cry.

Again. Again. Again.

He wasn’t going to abandon you nor to let you sufferalone. It was a silent promise. You were safe in his embrace and you could beas fragile and broken as you wanted. He was going to pick up the pieces andhelp you find your braveness to face life once again.

Every time you needed.

Izuki Shun

You were lying on the couch with the head on Izuki’slap, as he traced absentmindedly invisible drawings on the naked skin of yourneck and arm.

“I’d like to make a pun to lift your mood,” he suddenlybroke the silence, “But I’m afraid it’d be more a punishment than anything.”

You snorted, rolling your eyes.

“…terrible,” you commented in a faint murmur. However,you missed how fondly Izuki grinned at that little chuckle of yours.

“But you laughed,” he shrugged, bending to kiss you onthe nose.

“I did not.”

“You did,” he insisted happily, “And from now on, I’mgoing to make you laugh more and more until you can forget this sadness again.”

You felt something moving in your chest, as youblinked away some tears.

You really didn’t want to cry once again in front of him,but…he made you feel so warm and cherished. He was too much.

“Really?” you asked in a feeble voice, “If I laughagain, can I have another kiss?”

He froze at your words, caught by surprise. Then, hegently moved you so that you laid on your back and looked at him in the eyes,and cupped your cheeks.

“You don’t need to laugh to have my kisses, they areyours either way,” he murmured serious, wiping away your tears.

You sobbed and grabbed on his t-shirt as he hugged youtightly and let you vent out all that pain.

#kuroko no basket #knb #kyoshi teppei #mitobe rinnosuke #izuki shun #kyoshi x reader #mitobe x reader #izuki x reader #depression #sadness #comfort #slight angst #hugs #kisses #sweet boys

[purplefictionmom]

Self-Exile

I wrote this for @elainapoststhings <3

Fandom: Undertale Pairing: Sans/Asgore Warning: well, it's a little angst, so there’s that xD

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ELAINA, YOU’RE AMAZING :D

Sans tried to ignore how quiet the throne room always was. He couldn’t decide if it was because no one ever came here anymore, or if Asgore had purposefully done something to make it seem like that, but either way the small skeleton ignored it. He tried to convince himself it wasn’t because of how much it reminded him of Chara-

Even just thinking about that name made his spine freeze.

He forced himself to let go of those darker thoughts. This was a happy timeline. Frisk had managed to save the Underground, and released them from their prison under the mountain. The humans had even been open to discussions of integrating monster-kind into their ranks and Asgore--with Toriel by his side in public only--hadn’t needed to work so hard to create the peace treaties that resulted in protection for monsters and humans alike.

Peace had been the dream and it bloomed so quickly and easily that no one really noticed when Asgore stopped showing up in the public eye as much. Toriel had taken the reigns and had accomplished it--and opening her own school--flawlessly. Sans was proud of her, and of Frisk, who was a true example of what an ambassador for the monsters should look like.

A paragon of pacifism and kindness and of course, determination.

Sans had wondered if he really was the only one to notice when Asgore disappeared completely. He stopped showing up to their get-togethers; Toriel was likely happy that the former king finally took the hint how unwelcome she was always going to be with him, but even Undyne seemed oblivious to her old mentor’s strange absences and eventual disappearance.

It wasn’t until Frisk approached Sans that he realized he wasn’t the only one worried for the big guy.

“Sans, I’m worried,” Frisk had said. Frisk didn’t normally talk--something about selective mutism that Toriel had once tried to explain to him, but the chubby skeleton had never been one to care for details; Frisk was who they were and that was enough--but if they were talking now, they must have been worried.

“oh yeah? what about, kiddo?” Sans had tried to play it cool, but he still eyed the child warily.

“Asgore might not be coming back,” Frisk answered cryptically and it was a moment before Sans connected a few dots.

“ya have been resetting,” Sans accused quietly, anger starting to burn in his rib cage.

“No, no!” Frisk waved their hands quickly, “I’ve been loading; because of Asgore.”

Despite the sense of betrayal in his stomach, Sans tried to focus on what Frisk was trying to say.

“does somethin happen ta the big guy?”

“In a few weeks,” Frisk admitted quietly, “He’ll disappear completely--no one will know anything about where he went or why.”

“what do ya know, kid?” Sans leaned forward, trying not to give in to the panic that started in his bones.

“Asgore has taken Mom’s anger pretty hard,” Frisk glanced over their shoulder at Toriel and to make sure none of the other monsters were noticing the quiet conversation they were having in the corner, “And Mom refuses to do or say anything nice for him unless it's in front of other people.”

Sans nodded; all the monsters in the room knew how angry Toriel was with Asgore, but it was something no one talked about. An elephant in the room that had been shoved into a closet and left to rot. Asgore had always taken it hard, but for other’s sake he always just….let it happen.

“Sans, he feels alone and like no one cares; and he thinks he deserves it,” Frisk admitting quietly, “I tried to help him, I really did! But…”

“but there’s only so much you can do for someone like that,” Sans answered, and when Frisk nodded, he asked, “where is he, kiddo?”

“He’s back Underground,” Frisk said, “He called it a sort of self-punishment.”

After a moment, Sans finally said, “well, i’ll go take a look--i’ll give him some pun-ishment ta think about.”

Despite how worried the kid had been, Frisk was still able to crack a smile. They thanked Sans and had retreated to the kitchen to help Toriel.

Now Sans wondered just what Frisk had expected him to do.

It had been a few years since Sans had actually thought to come back, and years more since he and the others had walked out into the sunshine for the first time. The flowers that had been left to take over the throne room really had done their job by now. Vines crawled up the walls, nearly covering the golden splendor; flowers now covered the ground, no longer needing outside help to flourish in such a strange place.

Sans almost didn’t see Asgore in the throne that was now unrecognizable except for it's shape. The plants had overtaken that too.

The former king didn’t even notice Sans as the small skeleton approached him. Asgore was leaning down with his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging limply between his knees, while his head hung low enough that Sans was about even with his face for now.

Sans hesitated.

For the past few timelines, and especially this timeline, Sans had started to feel something deep in his soul for Asgore. At first, he rationalized it as devotion to a king who had spent hundred of years sacrificing his own needs and wants in favor of uplifting his people, but as time and timelines moved, he found there was more to the large fluffy goat that he couldn’t get out of his skull.

Quiet days spent tending the garden Asgore had let overtake the figurative seat of his power, Sans had lost count of the days he was happy to just nap nearby while Asgore tended to the throne room and it's new golden decorations: flowers instead of metal.

Maybe Sans had finally let himself admit he was in love with the king--of course it was love, what else could it be?--when, without prompting, Asgore finally shared why he had let the flowers overtake the palace.

“In my grief and pain, I had vowed death and destruction; I was no stranger to war, or to casualties, but never before had I vowed revenge or vengeance,” Asgore had started speaking without checking to see if Sans was even awake; maybe the big guy just needed to have the comfort that maybe, just maybe, Sans was asleep and would never hear this confession, “It was so outside of what was my comfort zone, but it wasn’t until Toriel walked away that I saw my actions for what they truly were: my guilt and horror of not being able to protect my children--my own aching void in my chest that my children would no longer fill, lashing out to try and change reality, hoping and praying to any of our old gods that if I could just free monster-kind, maybe my children would be waiting for me on the other side of the barrier.”

“A fool’s errand; one that cost me my wife. I guess these flowers were meant to fill the void that the three of them left inside my soul, but-”

Sans’s memory made his own soul ache as he remembered the tears that Asgore would never have let others see, the tears that watered his flowers that day. The same tears that fell to the ground now.

“No matter how many flowers I grow, the void simply remains.”

“i goat to tell you, asgore,” Sans finally broke the silence and paused long enough to let Asgore jump and then focus on him, before he said, “it's not nice to worry ewe-r friends like this.”

Asgore jumped so badly that Sans felt bad for not giving him a warning first.

“sorry about that,” Sans chuckled quietly, “just tryin’ ta make some friendly conversation--where ya been, Asgore?”

Asgore didn’t want to answer; Sans could see it in the way he glanced away and fiddled with his hands. The former king just couldn’t seem to bring himself to say whatever was on his mind, but Sans figured more than either Asgore or Frisk had said.

“you don’t think you deserve to live on the surface, eh?”

Asgore almost jumped again, and swung his head to stare at Sans, “Well, um…”

“this about those kids’ souls?”

Sans tried not to show too much emotion; Asgore was easy to read, but Sans also knew that he was keen on reading others too. Sans cared so much about Asgore, it hurt sometimes--like now.

The question seemed to hit Asgore pretty hard; his head drooped again and he made a quiet noise of agreement.

“I...I don’t deserve to live out in the sun while those children’s souls remain somewhere here in the Underground,” Asgore explained quietly, “But I have searched high and low without any trace of them to be found; I’m afraid they were lost and have disappeared for good.”

Sans shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie, “what would ya have done if ya found ‘em?”

The truth--that even if Asgore had found those souls, there was nothing he could have done anyway--remained unspoken between them as Asgore chose to let the silence take hold of the room again.

If Asgore was looking for absolution Sans knew that he wouldn’t find it here, in the Underground, but he wondered if Asgore realized that--or maybe it wasn’t absolution he was looking for.

“I...I want to hear someone, somewhere say that I did the best I could,” Asgore suddenly said out loud, “I don’t want them to condone my actions--what I did was unforgivable--but to bear the heavy burden of-”

His voice gave out and his shoulders hunched under a weight that Sans couldn’t see or even grasp the heaviness of; Asgore’s eyes closed and Sans started when he realized that actual dust was coming off of the former king with every shaking, silent sob.

Sans’s body moved without a will and he flung his arms around Asgore’s shoulders, burying his face into Asgore’s fur. Asgore jumped again, and Sans felt him go still. Dread filled the skeleton--he’d made a mistake, there’s no way Asgore would be open to this, what if-

Asgore’s arms came around Sans and the larger monster began to cry into Sans’s jacket.

Sans swallowed before he found the courage to talk.

“bein’ underground was the toughest thing we all went through; there’s a lotta things we all did that we aren’t proud of, and i’m probably the guiltiest one, but-”

Sans swallowed again, “but don’ forget that what you did was the best ya coulda done, asgore; everyone was jus’ waitin’ to rot here under the mountain, but you helped everyone feel hope again and i don’ think that was wrong, no matter what anybody else thinks or says.”

Silence reigned again and Sans simply let his king gather what composure there was left to have after a breakdown.

“Everyone deserves to be happy and I bring so many bad memories,” Asgore finally said, “Toriel-”

Asgore sucked in a breath as if something stabbed him, “...Toriel and the others would likely be happier if I simply stayed down here.”

Without hesitating, Sans felt the words pour out of his mouth, “but i wouldn’t be.”

That did it; Sans felt his stomach drop and his body stiffen. He hadn’t meant to admit something like that, but now it was out. Without warning, Asgore pulled back and stared down at Sans, his giant paws on Sans’s shoulders as the king studied the small skeleton.

“What do you mean, Sans?”

In for a penny, in for a pound, or so Sans thought the saying went, so after a shaky breath, he finally said something he hoped he wouldn’t regret later.

“asgore, i uh….listen, i care for ya; seein’ ya like this is brutal and i….” Sans felt his mind trying to pull in every direction, but he tried to focus on the truth of the matter, “if ya really want to stay down here in some kind of self-banishment, i can’t really stop ya, but i sure as hell wouldn’t let ya stay down here alone. i’ll stay with ya, if...if you’ll have me.”

Sans was expecting rejection, silence, or even awkward stumbling between the two of them, but Asgore simply pulled him off of his feet into a warm consuming hug. Sans let out a surprised noise, but Asgore was talking.

“Sans, oh Sans…” The rumble in Asgore’s chest was now resonating in Sans’s bones and causing a warmth to overtake his soul, “You’ve been more than a good friend, and I...I’ll have you, if you can stand to have me, too.”

“ya goat to be kiddin’ me,” Sans laughed nervously, relief making him feel weak, “i’ve wanted this bahd.”

#undertale #sans #asgore x sans #asgore #purplemom makes a request of herself #haha

[seraphichan]

Widdershins/Snaffle

(also on ao3)

~~~~~

There was the sound of a doorbell and Armin lifted his head, watched as the security guard swung around in his chair and looked at the monitor on the desk by the door. He stood and pressed the button, and in walked Armin’s dad.

“Hello,” he greeted the guard, “I received a call about Armin Arlert?”

“You the dad?” the guard asked.

“Yes,” he smiled. “Erwin Smith.” He held out his hand.

“Levi.” He took Erwin’s hand and shook. “Smith? Different last name?”

“Ah, yes. You see--”

“No.” Levi interrupted. “That’s your own business. Shouldn’t have asked. Have a seat.” He gestured to a chair in front of the table he was at before.

“Thank you,” Erwin said politely and smiled.

His eyes found Armin’s as he went to the indicated seat, his smile dropping into a frown of disappointment. Armin shrank in on himself and glanced back at the floor.

“He’s not in the cell?” Erwin asked, meaning the small square of space in the center of the room made of metal bars.

There was only one other person in there at the moment. He appeared to be asleep, body hanging over the wooden bench, eyes closed, head resting on one hand. Or maybe he was dead? Even from here Armin could smell him and, since he had been here, Levi had sprayed air freshener periodically around the room. Either way, Armin was glad he wasn’t in the cell.

“Nah, that’s for serious criminals and repeat offenders. He’s not a bad kid, just did something stupid for a stupid reason.”

Levi was right about that. He shouldn’t have taken Eren’s dare. But Jean was there and Armin wanted to impress him. But then he got caught, which wasn’t very impressive at all.

“When I brought him in I told him to sit over there and he hasn’t moved an inch since. I’d say he feels bad enough.”

“What did he steal?”

Levi reached beneath the table and grabbed the item, sat it in front of Erwin.

Erwin blinked at it. “Let me see if I’ve got this correct…” he looked at Armin “...you’re in mall jail because you snaffled a Snapple?”

Oh god. As if this entire situation wasn’t bad enough, his dad was making a pun about it.

“Yes, sir,” Armin answered quietly.

“I...I can’t even be mad. The joke’s too good.”

Levi snorted, mouth twitching briefly into a smile. “Be that as it may, you still have to pay a fee for his release.”

“How much?”

“Fifty bucks.”

“Fifty bucks?”

His dad went quiet and Armin thought that he might be considering how fifty dollars seemed awfully steep for attempting to steal a drink that was only a dollar and some change.

Then he spoke.

“Oh deer. I don’t carry that kind of doe with me,” he continued, leaning forward on his elbows and winking conspiratorially at Levi.

Oh no. More puns. And what was worse, he was trying to flirt with them.

Not that Armin had anything against his dad getting a date. It got him out of the office and kept him from moping around the house eating all the ice cream. But now hardly seemed like the appropriate time. And Armin wasn’t sure that Levi, as amused as he might have acted about the drink one, was all that interested in hearing more.

“Sir,” Levi said harshly and Armin inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. He felt a small pang of guilt as his dad’s face fell, but it was probably for the best. “If you want to fawn over me, I suggest you come back at three at the end of my shift. We can go to that new restaurant down the street.”

Wait...what? It actually worked? Armin was shocked, to say the least.

“Hey, kid,” Levi said and Armin snapped to attention. “You’re free to go.”

“Really?” Armin and Erwin asked at the same time.

“It’s a first offense, so I can waive the fee and let him off with a warning.” Levi shrugged. “Besides, I think he’s gone through enough punishment.”

Levi smirked and Erwin laughed. Armin groaned and put his head in his hands.

They were embarrassingly perfect for each other.

#word a day fic #snk fic #eruri #armin pov #puns #so many horrible puns #you're welcome #armin tries his hand at being a delinquent and suffers for it

[and-his-name-is-rouge-crimson]

1-100 or whichever you care to tell me... I would like to know everything though :3

Well here goes the rest of my night :3 1-100 here we go.

1. When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal, or more cereal than milk?

Answer: It honestly depends on the cereal. If it’s anything from the CheeryO’s family, I’ll eat that milk-less. If it’s Cookie Crisp, or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, I had better have some damn milk.

2. Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a cold wintery day?

Answer: FUCK NO!! WINTER SUCKS!! 

3. What random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Answer: I just remember the page number. Despite my crap memory, I somehow manage to remember what page I was on when I’m reading.

4. How do you take your coffee/tea?

Answer: I’ll take an energy drink instead.

5. Are you self-conscious of your smile?

Answer: Admittedly yes, I don’t like giving toothy smiles whenever I or someone else takes a picture.

6. Do you keep plants?

Answer: No, plants=bees. I hate bees. I’m not allergic or anything, I’ve just been stung one too many times for me to feel comfortable around bees. Hell if anything buzzes past my ear, I reflexively flinch even if it’s just a house fly. So no plants for me.

7. Do I name my plants?

Answer: *skips*

8. What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Answer: I write. A lot, though I’m a little self-conscious to post a lot of it

9. Do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Answer: Oh hell yes, I’ll do this all the time. At home, in the car, at work, with my friends … I’ve said too much.

10. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

Answer: I answered this one already, but since you asked me to do 1-100 (and like a fool who clearly does not value what he does with what is left of his evening) I’ll answer this one again. I’ll fall asleep on my stomach or back, and somehow find myself awake on my sides.

11. What’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Answer: Ohhh there are several, all with an interesting story behind it. Anyone reading this feel free to ask about said stories of said inside jokes. However, the two best ones I can think of at the moment are: “White-face Mexican Jesus,” and “I’m trying to send a donkey to someone for their birthday, but customs is being a bitch!”

12. What is your favorite planet?

Answer: Pluto (”Ohhh but that’s not a planet anymore” fuck off it’s a planet if I say it’s a planet. And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!)

13. What is something that made you smile today?

Answer: Listening to Neon by Jeff and Casey Lee Williams.

14. If you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Answer: Shit. I’m still figuring Tumblr out, so I have NO idea how to link stuff (embed or html or whatever the fuck it is) so… for a base idea, probably something like 221b Baker Street from BBC’s Sherlock.

15. Go Google a weird space fact and tell us what it is.

Answer: *skips*

16. What is your favorite pasta dish?

Answer: Just give me spaghetti and meatballs.

17. What color do you really want to dye your hair?

Answer: Purple. It’s my favorite color, but I seem to have a distinct lack of purple in my wardrobe. But if I was to dye my hair, it would have to be a real dark purple.

18.  Tell something dumb/funny that has since gone down in history between you and your friends that is always brought up.

Answer: *deep breath* No.

19. Do you keep a journal? And what do you write/draw in it?

Answer: I do not keep or have ever kept a journal.

20. What is your favorite eye color?

Answer: Dark brown, kind of like my own.

21. Talk about your favorite bag. One that has been to hell and back, and that you love to pieces. 

Answer: Okay, well I still use this backpack. I’ve had it since my freshman year in high school. Its right strap is worn down, because I only ever wore it over my right shoulder, and still only ever wear it over my right shoulder. There’s also a Wings of Freedom button on the right strap, despite my dislike for the Attack on Titan anime (I liked the manga better). That backpack has been through high school, survived college, and gone to every single anime convention I’ve gone to since I’ve had it.

22. Are you a morning person?

Answer: No, I’m more of a crack of noon person. But high school has ingrained it into my brain that I need to wake up at the ass crack of dawn.

23. What’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days when you have 0 obligations?

Answer: Oh so everyday I don’t have work? Okay then. I either write or play video games, I’m currently playing Mass Effect Andromeda and loving it (despite the issue with the character customization).

24. Is there someone out there that you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Answer: Yes, and they know who they are.

25. What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

Answer: My friend Neil and I once had to break into his own house because he forgot his keys, and nobody else was home. There was a ladder under the balcony of his parents bedroom, we set it up, and Neil held the thing in place while I climbed up and over the ladder and over the balcony (thank god the sliding glass door was unlocked).

26. What shoes have you had forever and wear with every single outfit?

Answer: Normally my shoes don’t last that long.

27. What’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Answer: Ummmm… I don’t have a preference to bubble gum flavors. :3

28. Sunrise or sunset?

Answer: Sunset. Sleep is good.

29. What is something really cute one of your friends does, and is really endearing?

Answer: One of them is our designated group mom, and she cares for all of us. Love you Panda!

30. Think of it: Have you ever been truly scared?

Answer: Yes. There is a local haunted place close to where I live. It was an old rock crusher/munitions factory back in WWII, before it exploded and covered nearly all of it’s workers in acid. Since then the place has been haunted by the spirits of the workers who have died there. And then some idiots attempted to perform some ritual to summon some sort of demon … And it fucking worked. Anyways, my friend Neil and I go up there a few years ago on Halloween. In reality I allowed myself to be talked into it, but I was so freaked out the whole time we were up there, and I could have sworn I was seeing shit move just past the range of my vision. Anyways we are about to head back to his house, and we are right in front of the old rock crusher, when I become aware that Neil is not walking beside me. When I turn around, I see him passed out in front of the old structure … Then I hear this horrible voice in my ear: “Leave him, he belongs to us now.” 

31. What is your opinion of socks? Do you sleep with socks? Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? Really, just talk about socks.

Answer: *skips*

32. Tell a story that happened at 3am while you were with friends.

Answer: Ummmm there are no stories like that. Even if we’re at cons, we’re asleep before midnight.

33. What’s your favorite pastry?

Answer: Cinnamon covered doughnuts. So good~

34. Tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a child.

Answer: I had/have 3. A lamb, and 2 teddy bears. I don’t remember what happened to the lamb. I know it’s in the house somewhere, I just don’t know where. But as for the teddy’s: One is a standard-size teddy bear named *drumroll* Teddy. I was adopted when I was 4 days old, and Teddy is the only thing that I have from my birth mother. The second one is larger, kinda like the size of a carnaval prize. He was given to my by my Uncle Desmond “Dezzy” Caine (I really miss Uncle Dezzy), so he’s named the Dezzy Bear. I still sleep with both and I’ll be 25 in like 9 days. Dezzy still props up my pillows.

35. Do you like stationary and pretty pens?

Answer: Meh, they’re not so bad. I have really bad handwriting so I’m kinda divided 50/50

36. Which band’s sound would suit your mood right now?

Answer: Nightwish. Oh their lead singer’s voice is beautiful~

37. Do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Answer: Messy, definately messy. Sure it looks disorganized, but I know where everything is in the mess.

38 Talk about your pet peeves.

Answer: No, it’s too late at night for that shit.

39. What color do you wear the most?

Answer: White. Undershirts mostly. I would wear more purple, but there is a distinct lack of purple in my wardrobe, and not a lot of purple clothing in the stores I shop at (mostly Hot Topic) that fit/I would wear.

40.Think of a piece of jewelry you own. What’s it’s story? Does it have any meaning to you?

Answer: Ummmm admittedly, I have a lot of jewelry pieces. Mostly necklaces that I rarely wear. My favorite by far, is a pewter dragon with it’s body wrapped around a blue crystal. I bought it at the county fair a few years back, and it was the last one that was ever sold from that vendor, because I havent seen his stall in the past few years.

41. What is the last book you really, really remember loving?

Answer: Monster Hunter Memoirs: Grunge. It’s a new book in the Monster Hunter series by Larry Correia.

42. Do you have a favorite coffee shop?

Answer: No, I don’t like coffee ever since I made the mistake of drinking the swill on an empty stomach.

43. Who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Answer: My friend Neil, and that was years ago when we decided to head up to a local haunted area.

44.When was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Answer: This morning in the shower :3

45. Do you trust your instincts a lot?

Answer: Yes. Going back to when Neil and I were up at the rock crusher, and I heard that voice in my ear. Something told me: “Neil is your brother, get his ass out of there!” I grabbed him, and ran for it.

46. Tell us of the worst pun you can think of.

Answer: Is this some sort of pun-ishment? Well I guess you can call me the Pun-isher (hate myself).

47. What food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Answer: …shit I had something for this, and now I can’t remember…

48. What was your biggest fear as a kid? Is it the same today?

Answer: I was afraid of the dark as a kid (mostly due to my brother being an ass), and that fear carried through. I still have to sleep with a light on.

49. Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought?

Answer: I haven’t bought a CD or a record since I had my first iPod. The last one I bought was Disturbed’s Indestructible album.

50. What is an odd thing you collect?

Answer: I answered this one before, but I’ll do it again. I collect and assemble Gundam models. I have 8 currently. And I have yet to finish/start the assembly on the last 3.

51. Think of a person, what song do you affiliate with them?

Answer: I think The Animal by Disturbed would suit Neil just fine.

52. What are your favorite memes of the year so far?

Answer: *skips*

53. Have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? Beetlejuice ect. What do you think of them?

Answer: Nope.

54. Who is the last person you saw with a genuine look of sadness on their face?

Answer: That would be my cousin who had to recently put her elderly golden retriever to sleep. Something like that is never easy, and I know how bad the pain of losing a pet you have had for years feels.

55. What is the most dramatic thing you have done to prove a point?

Answer: Ummm that’ll be the time when *skips*

56. What are some things you find endearing in people?

Answer: When I find something, I’ll let you know.

57. Go listen to bohemian rhapsody. did you reenact the lyrics?

Answer: Um whoever doesn’t needs to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

58. Who is the wine mom, and who is the vodka aunt in your group of friends?

Answer: Me on both occasions.

59. What are some of your favorite myths?

Answer: Mostly the ones involving the 80′s horror movie villians.

60. Do you like poetry?

Answer: Meh.

61. What is the stupidest gift you have ever given/received?

Answer: I gave my mom trick candles to use on my brothers cake a few years ago … And they found their way on to MY cake. Does that count?

62. Do you drink juice in the morning?

Answer: Very rarely, and when I do it’s cranberry.

63. Are you fussy about your books and music? Do you keep them organized or leave them be?

Answer: I leave them be. It goes back to the question of how I like to keep my room.

64. What color is the sky where you are right now?

Answer: It’s steely grey. It’s in the transition of seasons. Winter to Spring.

65. Is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time that you’d love to hang out with?

Answer: Yeah, my friend Neil.

66. What would your ideal flower crown look like?

Answer: *skips*

67. How do gloomy days make you feel?

Answer: Yep skipping that one too. *skips*

68. What is winter like where you live?

Answer: Hoth

69. What are your favorite board games?

Answer: Risk … and I cannot think of any other ones of the top of my head.

70. Have you ever used a ouji board?

Answer: Fuck no! I am not stupid enough to do that! Especially after what happened after the rock crusher.

71. What is your favorite kind of tea?

Answer: I don’t drink tea.

72. Are you a person who needs to note down everything you need to do or else you’ll forget it?

Answer: Only when I am at work, and even then I rarely note things down.

73. What are some of your worst habits?

Answer: *skips*

74. Describe a good friend of yours without using their names or gendered pronouns.

Answer: Hmmmm… Long and lanky, unkempt and scraggly hair and beard. Quick wit, sharp tongue, but with a big heart.

75. Tell us about your pets!

Answer: I had two white Siberian Huskies. Tundra and her brother Topaz were born on the same day I was, and we had 18 great years together.

76. Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

Answer: Nope.

77. Pink or yellow lemonade?

Answer: Why not both?

78. Are in the minion fanclub or hateclub?

Answer: I’m in the “I don’t give a fuck” club.

79. What is one of the cutest things anyone has ever done for you?

Answer: They wouldn’t want me telling that story.

80. What color are your bedroom walls? Did you chose that color? If so why?

Answer: They’re white, but if I could paint them, they’d be purple.

81. Describe on of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Answer: *skips*

82. Are/were you good in school?

Answer: I was decent. Not good, not bad, but decent.

83.what is some of your favorite album art?

Answer: I care more about the songs rather than the artwork.

84. Are you planning on getting any tattoos?

Answer: Yes, I’m planning on getting either the enochian sigil from Supernatural, or a full back tattoo of a set of angel wings with the words: “Angels on our shoulders” above them.

85. Do you read comics?

Answer: Not really

86. Do you like concept albums?

Answer: The hell are those?

87. What are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Answer: All the James Bond movies, Star Wars including the prequils, and the 3 original Indiana Jones movies.

88. Are there any artistic movements you enjoy?

Answer: The only one I can think of (and I’m not sure it even counts) is the Renaissance

89. Are you close with your parents?

Answer: Yes very close, although they drive me crazy at times I still  love them.

90. Talk about one of your favorite cities.

Answer: *skips*

91. Where do you plan on traveling this year?

Answer: Well my group is planning on heading to Washington DC for Ota-con this year.

92. Are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese? Or do you barely sprinkle a pinch?

Answer: The cheese. Give me all the cheese!

93. What is the hairstyle you wear the most?

Answer: Short and very unkempt.

94. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Answer: My girlfriend. :3

95. What are your plans for this weekend?

Answer: The same thing I do every night. Try to take over the world.

96. Do you install your computer updates quickly? or do you take forever?

Answer: Yes. :3

97. Myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and Hoggwarts house.

Answer: What the hell is the first one? But I’m an Ares, and a Gryffindor.

98. When was the last time you went hiking? And did you enjoy it?

Answer: it was years ago, and no I hate nature.

99. List some songs that resonate with your soul every time you hear them.

Answer: I have 220+ songs on my iPod that attest to that very question.

100. If you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, and one that allows you to go 5 years into the future, which would you press and why?

Answer: I’d go into the future. Past is past and that’s where it belongs. Plus when I go back to when I pressed said button, I would have an advantage over everyone else *evil smile*

#theangstygrad25 #asks #ask promp #holy shit that took forever #and that is the last time I ever do a 1-100 answer prompt again

[theskelejournals]

Entry 48

I've gotta say, my lady friend has been a pretty big inspiration. For the bit of time I’ve known her, I’ve gotten my groove back with puns and jokes like you wouldn’t believe. With all these good jokes and puns we've been cranking out, I've been knockin ‘em off left and right. Not just at the door, but in everyday situations too. Pap doesn't appreciate ‘em, but I think he's just glad to see me engaging in something.

Over at the newly face claimed MTT resort, they were having an opening night for comedians to come in. Something about they wanted to scope the crowd for reactions and whoever got the best from the audience, they would ask those people to come back. Usually I wouldn’t shoot for something like that, but as I got to thinking about it, I figured, why not? It might be fun. Can't say for sure how long it'll last thanks to that flowers resets, but who knows. It was something at least.

I brought the suggestion up to my door friend the day after hearing about it and she encouraged it all the way.

“Be sure to come back and tell me all about it,” she told me excitedly. “And oh, do your act for me too, if you would. I would love to hear it.”

“hey, fuhgeddaboudit, you get the best stuff anyways, snow worries,” I told her, getting a snort and snicker in response. The only encouragement I needed.

I told Paps my plans too, and he seemed surprised but supportive. In his own way, you know.

“Well, you certainly have it in you to tell jokes for a living,” he said, making a face. “Is that what you want to do, Sans?” “maybe not for a livin’, but definitely a hobby or a side job,” I told him with a shrug. “you know me, i got some real rib ticklers.”

“Eugh, save it for the stage, brother,” he grumbled. Then he tilted his head. “And if you do get it? What about your sentry position?”

“if i do, then i do. i’ll work both jobs. the resort won’t be an everyday thing anyway”

“You, two jobs? Wowie! Mark it on the calendar, my lazybones brother wants to work two jobs!”

Flashing a grin at me, we both ended up laughing. His words might seem harsh sometimes, but he doesn’t mean them. My jests are puns, his are dramatic pokes at people. It’s how we roll. I knew I had his full support just from the look alone, so I was two for two.

“But really Sans, if you want to, then go ahead. Who knows, you might be able to get at least someone in the audience to laugh. You do have that door person, after all, so I suppose it’s possible.”

“you betcha, bro,” I said with a snicker, “they’ll call the guard on me for attacking their funny bones so hard.”

“Alright seriously save it for the stage.”

That night, I headed on over there to sign up and do my act. There were several monsters lined up for the challenge and a lot of people in the theater to hear em. Oh boy. My nerves started to settle over time as I watched the different acts though. The crowd was pretty tame and even gave some monsters who weren't even doing anything funny a hand to appreciate their efforts. I give em props. I don't remember Hotland being that welcoming.

It was interesting to watch everyone go up and do their own thing. I took mental notes of some things I hadn’t thought of before, reading the crowd to figure out what they liked most. I wouldn’t call it cheating, I was just using my people reading skills to my advantage is all.

My turn was up before I knew it. I still had a bit of nerves when I stepped into the light, but after a moment I just imagined my family out in the crowd. My whole family. My door friend too, I know she would’a loved this. So with that in mind, I just started going. And the crowd snickered. So I kept going, and they started to laugh. The longer I went, the better the reactions got. Before long, I had everyone engaged in what I was saying and laughs echoed throughout the auditorium. I was knockin em dead and oh man, it felt so good. By the time I was done, I gave a bow and everyone applauded for me. Heh. I swear my soul skipped a beat.

Backstage, a few people congratulated me on the reactions and were overall very kind. My elated mood only got higher. As I was leaving, others began to steadily spill out of the resort. I caught a flash of red in the crowd and looked up. To my surprise, I saw aunt Sera among them the moment she happened to look up too. We both grinned and waved, but before I could try and approach, the crowd grew thicker and I was moved along toward the exit like several others. I might not have gotten to talk to her, but the fact that she had been in the crowd too made it all the better. Once I was outside, Papyrus and Undyne rushed up to meet me.

“Brother! That was terrible but amazing! Everyone loved you!”

He scooped me up in a hug and spun in excitement. I paused in surprise at first before letting out a loud laugh, hugging him back tightly.

“paps! joke’s on them, really, they were in for punishment as soon as i walked in.”

I could hear Undyne laugh over my brothers annoyed groan, coming over and clapping me on the back after I was put down.

“So this is what you've been stealing off to these days, huh punk? Making jokes to audition for this?”

“yeah sure we'll go with that.”

“He's a slacker of the worst degree,” Papyrus interjected with a grumpy face, then turned and grinned at me. “But he also works hard at what he does. My brother deserves this moment of victory for all the effort he puts in.”

I raised my brows in surprise.

“effort? me?” I shrugged, but oh man was I grinning. “dunno what you're talking about.”

“I don't believe that!” Scooping me up, Paps held me at arm’s length and grinned wider. “You might be lazy, but you’re also a hard worker. I'm not sure how those work together, but you do it! As terrible as your jokes are, you're good at them. Just like you’re good at taking care of me, and I'm great at taking care of you.”

I was snickering pretty hard, unable to stop grinning. “aw, paps.”

“I mean it Sans!” he furrowed his brows to put emphasis and dragged me close into another hug. “I might not appreciate your jests, but everyone else did tonight. You made everyone laugh, and regretfully, me included! That’s a feat! I'm proud of you, brother.”

“You'll have to balance two jobs now,” Undyne said with a smirk. “There ain't no way they're not calling you back for more.”

“heh… jeez. thanks guys.”

It was sincere. I didn't really expect them to be in the crowd, even Papyrus because of his disdain for my jokes. But I guess I should’a known. It's good to be proven wrong sometimes.

As we were heading home, I noticed a shadow flicker in the corner of my eye, turning briefly to glance at nothing. I couldn't help but grin again. Three of the four members of my family were there that night after all.

I just got the mail this morning and there was a letter from the resort. In short, they loved my performance and wanted me back. Laughing in pleased disbelief, I showed it to an excited Papyrus and then made off instantly to tell my friend by the door. She was ecstatic.

“I knew you could do it! Great job, my friend,” she said cheerily, and I heard the muffled sound of her hands clapping in glee.

I leaned against the door, grinning wide.

“i'm no killer, but i definitely knocked em dead.”

Her laugh was the best one I'd heard, even after the entire auditorium of people. Yeah, still my best audience.

I think things are finally lightening up. I’m still taking everything with a grain of salt thanks to Flowey, but the moments I’m getting are pretty good. I just really hope the good times last. So long as I have the friends and family that I have now, I’ll do everything in my power to keep that hope going. Thanks guys. Really. - Sans

#undertale #sans #papyrus #toriel #undyne #undertale fanfic #journalVerse #sansjournal2

[fiveweekscloser]

Visioning life without oppression means a life without prisons.

From “Are Prisons Obsolete?” - Angela Davis (p.111-115)

The alternatives toward which I have gestured thus far— and  this  is  only  a  small  selection  of  examples,  which  can also include  job  and living wage  programs,  alternatives  to the disestablished welfare program, community-based recre­ation,  and  many  more—are  associated  both  directly  and indirectly with the existing system of criminal justice.  But, however mediated their relation might be to the current sys­tem of jails and prisons, these alternatives are attempting to reverse  the impact of the prison industrial complex  on our world. As they contest racism and other networks of social domination,  their  implementation  will  certainly  advance the abolitionist agenda of decarceration.

Creating agendas of decarceration and broadly casting the net  of  alternatives  helps  us  to  do  the ideological work  of pulling apart the conceptual link between crime and punish­ment. This more nuanced understanding of the social role of the punishment system requires us to give up our usual way of thinking about punishment as an inevitable consequence of  crime.  We would recognize that  "punishment"  does  not follow from "crime" in the neat and logical sequence offered by discourses that insist on the justice of imprisonment, but rather  punishment—primarily  through  imprisonment  (and sometimes death)—is linked to the agendas of politicians, the profit  drive  of  corporations,  and  media  representations  of crime.  Imprisonment is associated with the racialization of those most likely to be punished. It is associated with their class and, as we have seen, gender structures the punishment system  as  well.  If  we  insist  that  abolitionist  alternatives trouble these relationships,  that they strive to  disarticulate crime and punishment, race and punishment, class and pun­ishment,  and gender and punishment,  then  our focus must not rest only on the prison system as an isolated institution but must also be directed at all the social relations that sup­port the permanence of the prison.

An attempt to create a new conceptual terrain for imag­ining alternatives to imprisonment involves the ideological work of questioning why "criminals" have been constituted as a class and, indeed, a class of human beings undeserving of  the  civil  and  human  rights  accorded  to  others.  Radical criminologists have long pointed out that the category "law­breakers" is far greater than the category of individuals who are deemed criminals since, many point out, almost all of us have broken the law at one time or another. Even President Bill Clinton admitted that he had smoked marijuana at one time,  insisting,  though,  that  he  did  not  inhale.  However, acknowledged disparities in the intensity of police surveil­lance—as indicated by the present-day currency of the term "racial  profiling"  which  ought  to  cover  far  more  territory than  "driving  while black  or  brown"—account  in  part  for racial and class-based disparities in arrest and imprisonment rates.  Thus,  if  we  are willing  to  take  seriously  the  conse­quences of a racist and class-biased justice system,  we will reach  the conclusion that  enormous numbers  of people are in  prison  simply  because  they  are,  for  example,  black, Chicano,  Vietnamese,  Native American  or poor,  regardless of their ethnic  background.  They are sent to prison,  not so much because of the crimes they may have indeed commit­ted, but largely because their communities have been crim­inalized.  Thus, programs for decriminalization will not only have to address  specific activities  that have been  criminal­ized—such as drug use and sex work—but also criminalized populations and communities.

It is against the backdrop of these more broadly conceived abolitionist alternatives that it makes sense to  take up  the question  of radical transformations within the existing jus­tice system.  Thus,  aside from minimizing,  through various strategies,  the kinds of behaviors that will bring people into contact with the police and justice systems, there is the ques­tion of how to treat those who assault the rights and bodies of  others.  Many  organizations  and  individuals  both  in  the United States and other countries offer alternative modes of making justice. In limited instances, some governments have attempted to implement alternatives that range from conflict resolution to restorative or reparative justice.  Such scholars as  Herman  Bianchi have  suggested  that  crime needs  to  be defined in terms of tort and, instead of criminal law, should be reparative law. In his words,  "[The lawbreaker] is thus no longer an evil-minded man or woman, but simply a debtor, aliable person whose human duty is to take responsibility for his or her acts, and to assume the duty of repair."132

There  is  a growing  body  of  literature  on reshaping  sys­tems  of justice  around  strategies of reparation, rather than retribution,  as well  as  a growing  body  of  experiential  evi­dence of the advantages of these approaches to justice and of the  democratic  possibilities  they  promise.  Instead  of rehearsing the numerous debates that have emerged over the last decades—including the most persistent question, "What will happen to the murderers and rapists?"—I will conclude with a story of one of the most dramatic successes of these experiments  in  reconciliation.  I  refer  to  the  case  of  Amy Biehl,  the  white  Fulbright  scholar  from  Newport  Beach, California,  who was killed by young South African men in Guguletu, a black township in Capetown, South Africa.

In 1993, when South Africa was on the cusp of its transi­tion,  Amy  Biehl  was  devoting a  significant amount of her time  as  a  foreign  student to  the  work  of rebuilding South Africa. Nelson Mandela had been freed in 1990, but had not yet been elected president. On August 25, Biehl was driving several  black  friends  to  their  home  in  Guguletu  when  a crowd shouting antiwhite slogans confronted her, and some of them  stoned and stabbed her to  death.  Four of  the  men participating in the attack were convicted of her murder and sentenced  to  eighteen years  in prison.  In  1997,  Linda  and Peter Biehl—Amy's mother and father—decided to support the  amnesty  petition  the  men presented to the  Truth  and Reconciliation  Commission.  The  four  apologized  to  the Biehls and were released in July  1998.  Two of them—Easy Nofemela  and  Ntobeko  Peni—later  met  with  the  Biehls, who,  despite  much pressure  to  the contrary,  agreed  to  see them.133  According  to  Nofemela,  he  wanted  to  say  more about his  own  sorrow for killing their daughter than whathad been possible during Truth and Reconciliation hearings. "I know you lost a person you love/7 he says he told them during that meeting.  "I want you to forgive me and take me as your child."134

The  Biehls,  who  had  established  the  Amy  Biehl Foundation in the aftermath of their daughter's death, asked Nofemela and Peni to work at the Guguletu branch of the foundation.  Nofemela  became  an  instructor  in  an  after­school  sports  program  and  Peni  an  administrator.  In  June 2002,  they  accompanied  Linda  Biehl  to  New York,  where they  all  spoke  before  the  American  Family  Therapy Academy  on  reconciliation  and  restorative  justice.  In  a Boston  Globe interview, Linda Biehl, when  asked how she now feels  about the men who killed her  daughter,  said,  "I have a lot of love for them." After Peter Biehl died in 2002, she bought two plots of land for them in memory of her hus­band  so  that  Nofemela  and  Peni  can  build  their  own homes.135  A  few  days  after the  September  11  attacks,  the Biehls had been asked to speak at a synagogue in their com­munity. According to Peter Biehl, "We tried to explain that sometimes it pays to shut up and listen to what other peo­ple have to say, to  ask;  'Why do  these terrible things  hap­pen?' instead of simply reacting."136

#prison abolition #angela davis #Swa