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lets-try-some-writing-draws · 6 months

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I WISH TO KNOW MORE ABT THE PRETENDER AU. PLS TELL US ABOUT THE PRETENDER AU. IT LOOKS RLLY COOL AND INTERESTING AND IM ALL HERE FOR ELDRICH ABOMINATION OPTIMUS!

I got you buddy. I've been wanting to go nuts with an explanation FOREVER. Of course I won't be giving EVERYTHING away. Just some bits and bobs :)

Let's begin shall we?

Overview

The Pretenders were the result of an experiment. They are not naturally created beings, nor are they the spawn of Unicron. Born in a lab, Optimus was the first of his kind and instilled with the mission that all Pretenders now adhere to without fail. It is hardwired into their genetic code, so much so that they are physically unable to avoid their mission. But with that said, they are not inherently malicious.

Made for a specific purpose, they are beings that wish to fulfill their function. If left alone, they will kill a few to gain a foothold to increase their numbers and then proceed to reproduce without any need for bloodshed. However with the war raging and due to the specifics of their biology, increasing their numbers en masse is impossible. Their lack of safety in numbers combined with the threat to their mission warring around them has forced this normally rather passive species into action.

Meant to be a race of sleeper agents, the Pretenders are only so active and aggressive due to their mission being threatened. Without the fear of annihilation hanging over them, they would largely remain dormant. But as that is not the case, they currently operate under instincts designed to serve them in times of strife. Hence their shortage of empathy and overall lack of care for the lives around them. In short, they will only act if acted upon. Without an external threat to their mission, they act as any other member of the population, excluding their smaller oddities. Bumblebee is an excellent example of what a dormant Pretender may look like, and even he is more active than a dormant one normally would be.

As of the present time in the AU, the Pretenders have made the decision to flee Cybertron to hopefully find a world where they can increase their numbers safely, and in doing so, finally have the numbers to blend into the background and complete their mission without Megatron exterminating them all.

Pretender Development

Optimus was born in a lab, and as such his origins are not going to be discussed. However in normal cases, the development of a Pretender follows this order:

Pretenders capable of spawning, those known as Firstborn, will begin to produce larva no bigger than a digit once they are mature enough and have sufficient resources. These larva develop in a safe location, either in a nest, or in the case of Optimus's young aside from Bumblebee, directly underneath his outer plating where they can feed from his fuel lines directly.

All larva can be genetically altered to a degree when they are young through offerings of CNA from either the dead or energon samples from the living. They do not need to be inserted into a host, however those that are put into a host in their early larval stages develop differently than those who adjust without one.

Larva that grow without a host will lose their more insectoid appearance over the course of a few stellar cycles while under the dutiful care of the resident Firstborn. These larva are better at blending in than their counterparts due to the lack of information fed directly into their processors and slower development. They mimic normal sparklings in their growth, even developing a personality not tied to their CNA donor. The attention from their Sire also inspires a more docile nature in them, ensuring that they are less likely to act on their own. Their more odd Pretender aspects are not nearly as powerful since they were given ample time to grow and receive information without interference. Not having to play a role, have a personality forced on them, or otherwise being shoved into a frame that is not made for them ensures that the normal larva grow up to blend in better than their counterparts ever could.

These unaugmented Pretenders generally do not exhibit many signs of their nature, lacking brute strength even without their disguises. Their organs and structure match the average Cybertronian almost perfectly so long as their coding is dormant, and even then, it is hard to pick them out. The only true giveaway of what they are is their EM field and the slight difference in optical structure, and to notice the first trait requires increadible skill. Megatron has begun to take notice of this fact and has trained many of his agents to sniff out a Pretender without issue. The DJD are his greatest assets in this regard, that with them all being survivors of larva implants.

Their true forms are not nearly as monstrous as their counterparts and they can easily be mistaken for an Insecticon or a Predacon depending on the circumstances, only adding to their disguise. Often they do not allow their shells to fall away and they remain mostly docile save for the odd fits of hyper vigilance when a potential threat is around. They are not natural born leaders or specialized in any field, instead opting for greater adaptability and disguise over outright strength. Once fully mature and in the event that they are not threatened, these Pretenders largely forget what they are. Their coding falls dormant and they live without any serious differences when compared to natural Cybertronians.

The only time these Pretenders become active while allowed to live normally is when a Firstborn appears. In such a scenario, the Pretenders as a whole will begin to wake. Let it be known that there can only be one Firstborn at a time. However to make up for this weakness, every Pretender also possesses the ability to wake and become a Firstborn, which will in turn lead to conflict resulting in the deaths of all potential heirs until only one remains. For this reason, Optimus made the decision to prematurely select an heir to avoid this outcome.

Now with that said, larva inserted into hosts are a whole other issue. They are all specially chosen for their host beforehand. Their Sire gives them the CNA of the one they are to bond to, and then once they are ready, they are inserted into the host usually through the optics. The larva will then bury into the host's processors and proceed to slowly devour memory and knowledge over the course of a few stellar cycles all while it grows.

It will devour the host as much as it can, resulting in thinness. Then it will begin to expand, spreading out roots like a plant and leading its waste to be execrated as a green fluid from the host's vents. As its roots spread, it forces the host to deteriorate to make way for its developing form. By the time the larva has consumed the host in all but spark, it forces its host to walk toward energon deposits and then forces the host to purge any remaining internals the host may have so that the larva may continue to grow. Once the host is dead, the larva finishes its gestation by consuming energon and turning the external armor of its host into a disguise all while it finishes developing internally. During this state the larva is very susceptible to adaptation and depending on where it finishes it gestation, develops the unique traits that sets every Pretender apart. No two Pretenders are the same after all.

Optimus finished his development underground and he had to crush energon crystals underground, so his jaw is capable of splitting to allow that. Ratchet was given energon crystals whole during his development, so he adapted to have unusual numbers of mandibles in order to facilitate this.

Pretenders who had a host take on many of the traits of their host and are the only ones who always remain active. They do not forget what they are and they are unable to fully adapt. Their empathy is lessened and their focus is on logic over emotion. They are the few who push the mission onward alongside their Hierarch. It is instinctual for a Firstborn to bring a few to his or her side through inserting larva into hosts. It is the most efficient way to obtain information and social status. Perhaps not the most subtle, but indeed effective.

Extra

Generally a larva cannot be removed from a host upon insertion, however a few lucky mecha with unusual processors or frames are able to have the parasite removed before it is too late. They come out scarred and broken more often than not, but due to the partial changes the larva started in them, they are the most brutal of Pretender hunters. No Pretender can hide from them, not when they can find them almost as instinctually as a normal Pretender could.

#maccadam #transformers #digital art #transformers prime #alternate universe #pretender au #optimus prime #bumblebee #ratchet #sketches #forgive the poor doodles #I wanted to get my point across but my hand was hurting #Annnnnnnnnyway #hope this was enough info for now!#this isn't everything of course #I have left details to be explored later #but this is the overview

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hansoeii · 2 months

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crowley

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saltyspecs · 19 days

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I've been thinking some binggeyuan Thoughts.

So, people usually write any binggeyuan as after the bingge vs bingmei extra which is super valid and narratively makes a lot of sense, but I've been thinking about dropping a bingge from earlier in the PIDW timeline into Shen Yuan's world. I'm talking like. Reverse transmigration straight from the abyss.

He finds Xin Mo, his seal gets fully broken, but instead of getting out of the abyss to get his revenge plans started he gets yeeted into modern day China, nothing but the clothes on his back and a system to guide him through it. He's bitter but he's also been fighting tooth and nail to survive for *checks watch* five years. He's like. 3/4 black lotus. Xin Mo hasn't quite had the time to sink its claws in.

I really do just have the mental image of Shen Yuan picking him up from out of an alley cause he looks like he got mugged. like a dirty kitten.

#I had a long drive recently so I was just thinking. so much.#mostly was coming up with quest titles #so far I have 'the nice shizun'/'the other shen'#and 'meet your maker'#the meet your maker quest would obv be him meeting sqh #okay but what's so interesting to me that i feel like isn't super explored is if there is another shen yuan for bingge to get for himself #this implies so many other like. timelines. what is the timeline hopping like in the scum villain universe.#like of course we have modern day pidw and scum villain #is it like an everything everywhere all at once type thing #i think it would be fun if it was #svsss #binggeyuan #bingyuan #luo binghe #shen yuan #fic #fic ideas #I'm just riffin here #westport posts

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fromtheseventhhell · 3 months

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Very funny to me how Stansas present her character as being so interesting and complex because of her vulnerabilities, while simultaneously ignoring those same vulnerabilities in other characters. Dany is sold as a bridal slave and lacks agency throughout AGOT and after. Her dragons are either too young/small to utilize effectively or locked away for the majority of the story. They aren't some all-powerful trump card that protects her from harm. Arya is captured as a prisoner of war, forced to watch countless people tortured and murdered, and then essentially enslaved in Harrenhal with no way to fight back. She has an entire arc of feeling powerless, of being a "mouse", during ACOK. She doesn't have "kung-fu" or the ability to magically fight her way out of every situation, she's a young child lacking physical strength with only the most basic sword training.

Sansa isn't the only female character, she isn't the only young character, she isn't the only character who suffered, and no one is obligated to prioritize her. I'm so tired of Dany and Arya being mischaracterized and having their stories erased to prop Sansa up. "Sansa has kept her dignity" In other words, let's praise her for having a level of security that Dany and Arya don't have access to. She hasn't ever been forced to make a hard decision which of course means that she's morally superior to them. They can't even admit to themselves that her lack of action is due to her own passivity. If it doesn't fit their delusion, they erase it from the story and expect the rest of us to play along. Ask one of them what they like about her character without bringing up her being the ultimate victim, and I genuinely don't believe they'd be able to give you an answer. They belittle other characters more than they talk about her and these takes just scream insecurity/jealousy at the content and development other characters have in their POVs.

#arya stark #daenerys targaryen #anti arya bs #anti daenerys bs #asoiaf #anti sansa stans #these being comments on a video of a stansas /correcting/ a Dany stan...the jokes write themselves #/she's a break from the fantasy/ /people would be equally powerless in her situation/ like they aren't even pretending #that they don't use her as a boring every-man self-insert #okay she's subjectively /normal/...what is interesting or important about that in a fantasy novel? 😭#Arya and Dany are so interesting because they have that complexity...vulnerability but also the strength to navigate their situations #and it isn't because they're /special/ it's because that's who they are as characters #Reducing Dany to her dragons or Arya to her combat abilities (which barely exist) is such a disservice to their arcs #but of course acknowledging that they're well-developed and empathetic doesn't square with their fantasy that #Sansa is the most pure important character who deserves everything because she suffered 🙄#they really write entire fanfictions and then go /why don't people think like us?? 😔/#/Sansa kept her dignity/ yeah that's why she's currently part of a plot to poison a disabled child #because she was told she'd benefit from it oh yeah she's sooooooo morally superior to Dany and Arya 😑

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lunar-wandering · 17 hours

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been thinking about the fact Wukong had to teach himself how to speak human and i have to ask. i HAVE to ask. did Macaque already know how to speak human by the time he met Wukong.

like. they definitely didn't meet until after that point. all scenes we've had of past!Macaque and past!Wukong interacting are definitely after Wukong went to the mainland and got his first immortality + the 72 transformations.

and it's seems like Wukong strictly only spoke human from that point onwards.

so i have to ask. when Macaque and Wukong first met, was Macaque just blindsided by this other monkey demon speaking what, to him, sounded like absolute fucking nonsense????

cause listen. listen. something about the idea of Wukong going "hello!!!" while Macaque just lets out the most confused monkey-chirp is so funny to me. the idea of there having been at least one interaction with some random person/demon where Wukong had to translate for Macaque is driving me a little nuts-

#Monkie Kid #lego monkie kid #i mean of course it's more likely Macaque already knew human language #cause like. ability to hear everything in the world. he probably picks up on languages quick #but it's so funny to imagine just there being a brief period of time where he DIDN'T.#and him meeting Wukong being INCLUDED in that period of time #this isn't my main hc btw my main hc for him is that he grew up isolated #and learned to speak just by listening to the world #but this scenario is just what's appealing to my brain rn

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killerandhealerqueen · 5 months

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Can I bitch for a second? Like, I just want to understand why, in the past few years, comments and reblogs on fics have gone the fuck down. Like why? What fucking changed?

In 2020 and 2021, I used to get comments all the time on almost all my fics and now it's like...I'm lucky to get any. I also know that I write for small fandoms so like, that's a contributing factor, but still. Even with my latest multichapter fic, there are no subscriptions. Like, everything has just gone down.

And while I realize that the pandemic happened in 2020-2021, the decline has been happening for a while, especially here on tumblr. Comments and reblogs and asks about fics are just...not really a thing anymore.

And people wonder why writers don't wanna continue. Yeah, yeah, that whole thing of write for yourself, we all write for ourselves, lets be honest. We do. But we also want to share our creations with you because that's the whole fucking point of art. You want to share it with others and have them appreciate the work and time you put into it. And we'd like to hear feedback! It's literally not a bad thing to want comments. And people need to stop making writers feel bad for saying they want comments. And reblogs. Likes and kudos are great but they don't do anything. They just tell us that you liked the fic/work. But they don't tell us what you thought, what moved you, what rewired your brain, what made your heart thump or flutter or clench. That's what comments tell us. That's why we want comments. We want to see our fics through your eyes.

Writers shouldn't have to beg for interactions, so please. Reblog and leave comments on fics. Please. It's really the least you could do

#sass rants #i'm sure someone's gonna get pissy with me for this but i don't fucking care #i shouldn't have to fucking beg people to reblog and comment on my stories #it's fucking 2024 people #how about we start acting like a fandom again and start reblogging and commenting on EVERYTHING #from gifsets to art to fanfiction #(of course let's have the comments be nice we don't do rude comments here)#but yeah #start commenting on fics that you like #because the writers you love WILL stop writing after a while if they don't feel appreciated #because we all need to remember that this isn't a full-time job for most of us #so show your favorite writers/gif makers/artists some appreciate and reblog/comment on their shit

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novelconcepts · 2 months

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Do you ever just lay awake at night, turning over in your head the stark difference in delivery between Hewson's Van saying--steadily, unshakably--"it's just something that's happening to you...happening to us" and Cypress' Taissa saying--imploringly, whiningly--"this was not just my dream, this was our dream"?

Do you ever just turn it over and over, how often Tai tried to scare Van away, and how it only made Van set her feet more firmly? How Taissa's first love was this person who saw a problem fall into Taissa's lap, a problem that was quite literally trapped inside Taissa's body, and decided unflinchingly: No, that's an us problem now? How she refused point-blank to walk away even with blood in her mouth, how she flatly informed Tai "I'm never gonna be scared of you", and promptly turned a moment of pain into a declaration of love? And how this would etch itself into Taissa for the rest of her life? How she'd take these things that worked with Van--with the person Van was, with the bond they shared--and try so hard to run through an identical script with Simone?

Except Simone is her own person. A completely different kind of person. A person who hasn't been offered any of the context, any of the realities going on inside Taissa. So: naturally she doesn't respond the way Van did at eighteen--and will go on to do all over again in her forties. Naturally, she hears our dream as the excuse it is, not as a plea for connection. Naturally, she is scared away when Taissa pushes, and shouts, and begs. Because there isn't blood in her mouth, not yet, but there will be. And they have a son to worry about. And she isn't eighteen and a special kind of immortal, a special kind of romanticized. She's a grown woman with responsibilities, with priorities, with an understanding that you can't fix someone just because you love them. And Tai can't just perform a revival of the play she and Van had memorized twenty-five years later with a whole new performer in the works, and expect it to shake out the same.

Of course it doesn't work. But look at Taissa trying it. Look at Taissa trying to reframe her first love through a new lens. Trying to recast it. Trying to play it through again. Van taught her love was sticking out the blood, shaking off the pain, making a you problem into an us problem. Does it ever just eat at you, how tragic it is, watching Taissa try to shape her marriage around a woman who isn't even wearing a ring?

#yellowjackets #yj meta #taivan #sorry i'm just fucking obsessed with cypress' delivery choice in that scene #it is the most immature we EVER hear tai sound #and it's not teenage taissa. it's adult wife-mother-almost senator tai flat out whining in desperation #it is SUCH a choice #and then after the S2 opener to hear van sound so adult offering a glimpse as to WHY tai would #so pleadingly seek turning a Tai Thing into an Us Thing #yeah. yeah of course she would. because van shared the worst of her #van shared it without allowing tai to dissaude her. van quite literally tethered herself to tai's problems #and tai learned: that is what love is #and tai thought: this is what love is #it's sharing. and giving up on sharing is surrendering the whole thing #and she's lying! is the thing! she's lying to simone and to herself #she's making excuses for doing what she wants to do even though she shouldn't be doing it #but the core of it is Team. the core of it is Us. the core of it is #'if you love me you will be on my side. for better or worse.'#because that's what van did. for better. and for so much worse.#which isn't true. isn't actually how love works. love is sometimes putting your foot down and saying 'nah dude that ain't it.'#love is communication. but that was never taivan's game and it isn't tai's now and so she's just trying old plays #and it is NOT a play that can ever work the same with simone in the leading role. nor should it.#but god everything about them makes me so sad because simone deserves better and taissa needs what she won't admit to #anyway. will be absolutely gnawing at the walls until S3.

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ducktracy · 5 months

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proper reupload in the high quality this fantastic segment so deserves; eagle pig and duck bias notwithstanding, this will forever be my favorite variant of the fabled switcheroo (and a reminder that Daffy was first at his own game!) the committal on behalf of both characters--especially the sincerity of Daffy's feigned sincerity--really sets it apart

#that delivery of “don't you believe i'm a fish?” sounds so hurt and it's perfect #likewise i think there are few one-liners/toppers that make me laugh as much as 'i told ya i was a pig'#and that all knowing glance at the audience from Daffy doesn't feel obnoxiously smarmy or self aware #there's a friendly nonchalance to it. a very clear amusement and not in a way that undermines anything this segment is setting out to achie #again. my favorite buzzword: that sincerity! a sincere investment and amusement in watching Porky obliviously and endearingly make an ass #out of himself #and of course the cross dissolve and setup of the composition implying a story/sequence of events taking place within that time...#this short isn't my favorite P+D short--i still LOVE IT A TON but there are so many i revere--but i think it's one of the most definitive #if someone was looking to get a good understanding on their character dynamic this would be one of my immediate recommendations #i haven't had the bandwidth to spread my pig and duck gospel but please #watch Porky and Daffy cartoons #tangential but i've always loved the sound effect Treg Brown uses for Porky dropping the gun #good exaggeration/whimsy while also connoting Porky's stubbornness and that this stupid petty argument is enough for him to lose sight of #his motives and discard his murder weapon. all because of this joyously stupid argument. so i like the self awareness there with how obtuse #the sound effects are #because anyone who is not Porky Pig would have just shot him point blank #and that is everything i love about their dynamic and how Daffy's intoxicating charisma and ability to get people invested even affects the #very characters on screen #gee d'you think i ought to have said more about this scene #lt #duck soup to nuts #freleng #vid

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sandradoodles · 2 years

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Part 17! ~A montage~ (Sometimes you gotta make a last-minute decision to draw Marinette with her hair down, am I right or am I right?)

First | Prev | Next

#miraculous ladybug #marichat #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #lovesquare #confessions comic #sandra draws #this part KICKED MY BUTT and I kicked it back #sixth night marinette is a self-portrait of me drawing this comic #please consider full-viewing the jacket #the iris placement isn't 100% where I wanted but even so I spent literally hours drawing and redrawing different elements of that design #in other news #I changed art programs!#(right before starting the longest part in this whole series of course)#I had to relearn how to do everything so that was a fun challenge #not to brag but I can actually utilize pen pressure now #and resize images #and italicize text #it's very exciting!

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gayofthefae · 4 months

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"X is the biggest Byler proof" - me all the time about everything

But it's this. It's this. Because this is what converted me. This is what made me go "there is heterosexual explanation for this" without even realizing it until I had a homosexual one. It's this shit.

#byler fight #stranger things #s3 fight? he was defending el and it came out wrong #everything else? they're just...um...very close #emotional intimacy doesn't have to be romantic yaknow!#but...wtf was this bullshit #you sound like nancy it's just that murray isn't there #(yet)#*cough* 'sexually experiment' murray quote *cough*#byler #as i like to say #this only has two explanations #homo(phobic) or homo(sexual)#i only came up with first because of mental block but threw it out immediately because duh to just be confused #until of course #homo(sexual)

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lgbtlunaverse · 6 months

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I don't think we talk about xiyao exes to lovers enough. I understand that in canon the "breakup" ended with death and imo it was never going to end any other way (I have a lot of feelings about how jgy is doomed from the start) but even in aus where survival is an option I barely ever see their full potential realized. The fact that there is this heartbreaking gap that is between them now, and yet that, despite it all, they can't stop loving each other. When you have drama this good, why is the conflict relegated to outside threats and we end up with little to no exploration of internal strife, of the fact that these guys have been living a domestic lie for a decade (I cannot stress this enough, the amount of parralels between xiyao and jgy's marriage to qin su are staggering.)

And let me be clear I will NEVER begrudge anyone their hurt/comfort and wanting their faves who are denied happiness and peace at every turn to find it. god knows I need that sometimes. Or even the less healthy but so emotionally devastating fics where the caring isn't good, and it doesn't fix anything- might only make things worse, actually- and xichen ends up recreating his father's fate. I love all of those things. But. Man. This divorce was over 11 years in the making it should take AT LEAST that long to resolve. What do you do when the person you trusted the most lied to you for years? What do you do when the only person who's ever believed in you loses that faith so completely they'd hurt you over a lie without hesitation? I need me some xiyao who try to get over each other for 20 years and fail. I need them to meet after not seeing each other for years and have it hurt like no time has passed at all. I need arguments where no one raises their voice but that feel like a screaming match anyway. Do you see my vision?? Do you see what we could have?

(if fics that do exacly this are out there, recs are of course welcome)

#mdzs #meng yao #xiyao #lan xichen #jin guangyao #rs: i wish it could've been you #this might make some people really mad #at the idea that jgy has any right to have grievances with xichen but uh...#i'm not interested in arguing with jgy antis. go scream at a wall #or a different camp who DO like xiyao but who are like 'but xichen was lied to jgy wouldn't blame him'#the fact that it was a lie makes it WORSE you guys know that right?#some of you have never been the proverbial boy who cried wolf #and had people assume everything you say is a lie because you've lied in the past #and good for you! You SHOULD be honest with those you love i'm very happy for all of you #but also. lmao. you have no idea how that feels.#i have read aus where they break up and get back together of course #but i always end up feeling like people see the conflict as an obstacle? a thing to get past so we can get them back together #and not.. you know. the most interesting part. the selling point #I think in a slightly lower stakes au xiyao should wait a few years get back together because they love each other and then break up AGAIN #when they realize that the old relationship they had with that easy trust is gone forever. love isn't enough to bring that back #you can build something new. including a new kind of trust just as potent. but that old easy kind is gone.#and i think they should try to get it back because it was the best thing they ever had #and get fucked up about it when they realize they can't #and it should take them well over a decade to mourn it until they're ready to let it go and try to make something new of it #PLEASE let me talk about the xichen qin su parralels please let me talk about how rusong is nmj-coded #not in personality but in the function he has narratively as someone that can never stop haunting jgy.#the fact that nmj's death and rusong's birth were likely extremely close to each other timeline wise LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

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carbonmonoxide-detector · 6 months

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Yeah I'm sooo annoying. I'm sooo annoyi-

I'M SOOOO ANNOYING NOBODY LOVES OR LIKES ME AUGHHGHGHGHGHUGHUGHUGHUHAUHGUHAUHGHHHH

#this isn't even a flex I'm just like....do you know how human interest works #of course there are people that don't like me we're all individual people with differing ideas of humor and literally everything else #pointing it out to me specifically does nothing except make me thankful for the people who find my weird shit and say yeah that one

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simplepotatofarmer · 11 months

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Blog Update:

Hi, it's me, Loyal.

I just want to say first and foremost, I really do love (parts of) the fandom and I'm not going anywhere.

I will, however, not be around as much. One, I'm about to enter an all day intensive treatment plan so I'll literally just be on in the evening. Two, as much as I'm going to keep writing and creating, I have no intention of interacting publicly with fandom as much as I have.

I can't. It's actually fucking insane that it's gotten to this point. I made tribute post and because I used lyrics from Dream's song, I got harassed. The people doing this, acting like this, thinking this way are insane.

So in case it's not clear: Based on my personal lived experience and some information that's come to light, I still enjoy Dream's content. You can approach me personally, off anon, if you want to know my reasoning. If you dislike me for this, that's fine. But I'm done trying to walk this fine line just so I don't get people threatening me, my kids, and my pets. Just so people stop sending me the city I live in, so they stop digging up twelve year old tweets, so they stop calling me slurs and suicide baiting me.

That's absolutely insane. It's horrible. It's disgusting and I was honestly just sitting here, taking it, because I'm terrified of upsetting people and losing friends if I say 'yeah, I'm excited for a new manhunt and I also this song helped me and my kids process my grief'. And the worst part is, it's not an unfounded fear. People have done the most vile shit to me. People I thought were friends jumped on me instead of those harassing me.

I just want to post about Techno and c!Rivals duo and not worry about whether or not this post is going to get me hate. I don't want to worry about how random discord servers are talking about me.

Because that's fucking batshit. Not the worrying, but what these people are doing and I'm tired of letting this effect me. I have enough going on in my personal life. My partner of 15 years almost died. We almost lost our house. I should be able to come online and post about the silly minecraft guys I like and their RP and lore without censoring myself out of fear of literally being doxxed and cyber stalked. I should be able to talk about the racism that effects me without being afraid people will make it about cc drama or calling me slurs or erasing my identity as an Ojibwe person.

The people doing this are the problem. It hurts that so many people are part of this, it really does. But I can't keep letting it get to me. I've always done my best to be kind. I haven't been perfect, especially not lately, because all this hate and stress has gotten to me. I've lashed out. I shouldn't have.

And I shouldn't have had to deal with all that shit in the first place. I hope no one else does. It's terrifying and draining and I'm done.

So I intend to post the things I enjoy, I intend to reblog my friends' art, write the Emerald duo and Rivals duo fics I want to. I want to post about the Syndicate and the new manhunt when it comes out. That's what I'm going to do.

Asks are staying off for the moment because people are too happy to make burner blogs but I'll probably turn them back on at some point as I love answering lore and headcanon questions and, again, it's fucked up I can't enjoy an aspect of the site and fandom because people can't just leave me alone.

To those people: Get help. You're harassing someone because you think they deserve it and that's the most fucked up thing.

To everyone else: So so many of you have been amazing. You've been supportive, you've been kind. That kindness and support speaks volumes and I love you all. I genuinely love you. Dreblr, you've been here for me for over a year at this point and I cannot thank you enough. You are the best part of fandom as far as I'm concerned. And to Dtblr, y'all have come to support me countless times and that means the world to me, it really does. As for all my fellow Rivals duo fans, you people are worth your weight in gold for the joy you bring. A special shout-out to @vpofcookies because you've been here since the beginning, practically, and I love you. There's more but you know who you are.

Anyway, I've been carrying this for awhile and I'm tired. I'm no longer going to give any amount of thought to the people determined to drag me down and harass me constantly.

My best advice is stop focusing on the things and people you hate and instead focus on what you love. That's what I plan to do, from here on out.

#I had someone help me write this because it's been a lot but hopefully this makes sense and explains things.#I'm leaving tomorrow. I just had a break because of everything that happened lately. With the car and then missing Techno so much.#Then the sudden onslaught it was like. Wow. This isn't good! I need change.#So I'm changing things. And I do know this is going to get me hate of course.#But I mean. I'm done with caring about that. I have people and things that I love and that's what I care about.#loyal talks about stuff and things #I'm not tagging this as discourse because like this is my literal fandom experience.

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claireclaymore · 6 months

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"Katniss did so little for Peeta"

What the hell!!!

She wanted die for him! Kill for him! Accepted be the Mockingjay to save him!

When he came back brainwashed and hating her, the girl was literally suicidal! And when he got better, a single conversation with him made her get out of her depressive state and start living again!

How this is little?!!!

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idalenn · 24 days

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To reach The unreachable star

#gpose #gposers #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv #ffxiv screenshots #miqo'te #wol oc #ffxiv wol #lillian post #A while back I mentioned Lillian doing a pretty terrible thing in Ktisis that formed the nucleus of Meteion's anguish so we're hinting here #imagine being the driving force for the final days because your experience with Yotsuyu/Tsuyu and being a product of Gridania and #knowing your world and friends are being consumed while you're whiling away days in a relative paradise and how everything COULD be fixed #by the death of one child. Forget what the ascian said about being unable to change the past. You can never trust them.#This is the right course of action - for everyone. Go through Hermes to get to her right before her eyes too. That'll help certainly.#There is no courage or heroism in killing a hurt little girl.#She gets to spend the rest of endwalker fixing what she did. Confronting the Endsinger isn't about the fight. It can't be won with strength #only atoning and seeking forgiveness from Meteion will save everyone #and uh apologies for light nightmare fuel. I had something a bit more heroic in mind for the ninth photo that didn't work out.

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rosepompadour · 20 days

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Suddenly he asked if we had read A Farewell to Arms. Only some parts of it? Hurrying to his study he returned with a manuscript copy, and glowing with enthusiasm, he fumbled through the pages till he found the part he wanted. “Just listen to this,” he said. He read that passage, “—if people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them—” He read it with emotion. When he finished he asked quietly, “Isn’t it beautiful?” Finally I said, “Of course it’s beautiful, but - ” “But what?” Scott asked gravely. He waited, watching me, then he shrugged. “All right, it doesn’t impress you.” With an injured air he riffled through some more pages of the manuscript.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald is insulted when his friends aren't moved by A Farewell to Arms, recollected by Morley Callaghan in That Summer in Paris (1963)

#'glowing with enthusiasm' 'he read it with emotion' 'isn't it beautiful?'#and of course 'with an injured air' when people don't feel it IN THEIR SOULS like he does #am i . . . fitzgerald?#this is why i never recommend a farewell to arms to ANYONE #not even my dearest friends #the damage would be irreparable if they didn't feel it like this #also this probably goes a very long way to explaining why my love for fitzgerald surpasses everything else #makes me think of this exchange about shakespeare:#'what do you know about shakespeare?' 'not nearly as much as he knows about me.'#🤍#f. scott fitzgerald #a farewell to arms #literature

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