#this took me longer than i'd like to admit but i'm proud of it!
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Abyss FM, moodboard edition:
ID: nine images arranged in a grid. They are: sunlight through water surrounded by fish, a tiny waterfall over rocks, two silhouetted pale hands reaching down behind thin dark material, a dark silhouette of a hand pressed against light thin material, light reflections on green water, waves in fog, light outside the mouth of a cave in the ocean, TV static, the blurry figure of a diver in water. End ID.
#getting hyped for our finale!!!!!!#abyssfmpod#moodboard#spooky moodboard#podcast moodboard#indie podcast#spooky podcast#aesthetic#podcasts#podcasting#podcast#diving#original posts#described#this took me longer than i'd like to admit but i'm proud of it!#-a#abyss posting
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Let's do the Time Warp again !!
#one piece#One Piece Fanart#monkey d luffy#bon chan#mr 3#inazuma one piece#Buggy The Clown#sir crocodile#mr 1 one piece#impel down#aaaaaa i'm so proud of this#this took me longer than i'd like to admit#i cry#my art
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Eric Venue
Summary: Vil x gn!reader (technically). Vil has always found your mannerisms to be endearing. They are less endearing when they are evoked by his father.
A/N: NEW DILF DROPPED AND I HAVE ZWRO SHAME AWOOGA!!! Special thanks to @animepaniclover122403 and @l1ls4y0 for being my eyes on the inside and getting me pictures. Warning, I'm on the EN server so I know absolutely nothing about Eric Venue so this may be very out of character.
Note: It's in my pinned post, and I've mentioned this in a couple posts, but if this is the first of my stuff you've read, I view NRC as an actual college, so reader here is 18+. If it makes you more comfy, imagine it as grad school age.
Vil remembers the first time you met him. You wouldn't look directly at him, opting to stare at the floor as you mumbled incoherent sentences. Not a clear thought left your mouth.
Were you scared? Intimidated? Or, worse, did you not like the way he looked? That last possibility kept him up longer than he'd be proud to admit.
When he moved in with you during SDC training camp, he watched you walk into a wall three separate times. It was that third time that he realized what the situation was. You were flustered. How absolutely adorable.
Over the course of the weeks, you were eventually able to say more than three words to him. You continued to have issues looking directly at him, but he didn't mind that. It was cute. And a little bit of an ego boost.
Now the two of you were thick as thieves. And, in a teasing mood, he decided to ask you about your initial reaction to him.
As expected, you couldn't look directly at him, staring at the floor as you fidgeted with clasped hands.
Then he heard, barely above a whisper, “I've never seen anyone who is as beautiful as you.”
His heart fluttered. He knew you well enough now to know that you were from another world…
Which meant…
He was more beautiful than anyone you'd ever seen in two worlds.
“Sometimes…sometimes I can't look directly at you because when I look at you I…I can't think, and my mouth goes dry.”
Adrenaline rushed through him, and he couldn't fight off the vicious grin as he cruelly took your chin in his hand, and forced you to look at him.
“You are so adorable.” Then, to absolutely destroy what little calm you had left he pressed a kiss to your nose. You immediately crumbled, your only life line the hand still holding your chin, as he hid his laugh behind a delicate hand to his mouth.
And now? Now he'd invited you home with him for summer break. He'd planned every day's outfit down to the hour, hoping to absolutely destroy you with his casual attire. Not that it was ever truly casual, but that was by design.
And, by the end of the summer, you'd ask him out, and he'd graciously accept. And then you'd live happily ever after.
He forgot to account for one thing…
“It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard quite a bit about you,” his father said with an amused smile, as he pressed a light kiss to each of your cheeks.
Vil knew immediately. Your eyes flicked to his father's, then your entire being crumbled.
“H-h-h-hi, Mr. Venue-”
"Oh please. No need to be so formal. Call me Eric.”
“E-E-E-”
“Father! I thought you had a meeting today,” Vil cut you off quickly, an unconcealed tinge of irritation to his voice. Not that you'd notice. You were too far gone, your face unsubtly turned down to your feet.
“I did, but I'd be a poor host if I didn't come meet your- what are they again?” His father smirked, a challenge in his eyes.
“I'm-I’m his-”
“Y/N’s my guest. My guest. No need to be a host, I have it all taken care of.”
Vil and his father smiled at each other for a moment. A moment too long apparently, because you ended up trying to speak again.
“Thank you for letting me stay in your home,” you whispered, barely audible.
“It's not a problem!” He reached out for your hands, taking them in his own, his thumbs gently caressing your knuckles. “It's wonderful that my son has people that are important to him. Would you, perhaps, like to stay forever?”
In a move very much like one of Vil's, Eric gently tipped your chin up to meet his gaze. Vil watched your face fall under the spell he himself often placed you under. It took everything inside him not to act like a child in a rage. Instead, he placed his hands on your shoulders, and quickly steered you away.
“Y/N is very tired so I will show them to their room,” Vil said. “As I said, I will be their host, no need for you to take time off.”
His father laughed as he quickly shoved you into a nearby guest room. Not even the one he had intended to put you in. But he had to get you away from his dad.
“He smelled nice,” you whispered.
Of course he did. His father smelled of mahogany and expensive cologne. When he was little, that smell meant home. Now that smell meant-
“He was so pretty,” you said with a rather nasty voice crack.
Vil grunted. Grunted! Sevens, the effect you had on him.
Just as his father had done, he took your chin in his hand, and said, firmly, “You're min-my guest. Not his. So try to keep your attention on me.”
You looked at him with big innocent eyes. Vil fought back a distressed, lovesick sigh.
“Understood…but…what if,” you bit your lip, and Vil knew whatever was about to come out of your mouth would give him gray hair. Though, clearly that would be something you would like.
“What if, you shared me?”
He stared at you, opening and closing his mouth a couple times.
“I could be both of your guests!”
“What! Do you know what you're saying?” You had to! At least a piece of you had to, or you wouldn't be continuing the conversation.
“I don't feel safe answering that question,” you said, your eyes narrowing in suspicion at his attitude.
“I'll be blunt, Y/N,” he said firmly. “You cannot date my father.”
“I never said-”
“You didn't have to. It's written all over your face.”
You opened your mouth to protest, closed it, huffed, looked away, then you turned back to him.
“Why not?”
Vil’s jaw dropped. He sputtered, then exclaimed, “Are you seriously asking why you can't date my dad?”
“He's a dilf,” you shrugged.
“You also can't look directly at him!”
“I can change-”
“Doubtful.”
“Wow, okay. I see what this is. You are intimidated by the thought of me as your step parent.”
“You can't be my step parent!”
“I knew it! You're scared of me wearing the pants between the two of us!”
“No! You can't date my dad, because you are supposed to fall for me!”
You blinked at him. He pinched the bridge of his nose between two perfectly manicured nails. There went his summer plan.
“Oh.”
“Oh?” He sighed heavily. “Oh, as in, you feel the same? Or oh as in, awkward, leave me alone?”
You looked away, and Vil was certain if he felt your cheeks, they would feel feverish.
“I-er-ugh.”
“Take your time,” he hummed his amusement coming back to him.
You glared at him, before crumbling again, and mumbling some gibberish.
“You can't even talk to me, but you think you can handle my father?”
You glared at him, then took a calming breath.
“I like you too.”
“Thank sevens,” he pulled you in for a hug, holding back a snicker as he felt you tremble a little.
“You smell good, too,” you muttered, before hiding your face in his shoulder. He could feel his pride swelling.
But only you could bring it down just as quickly as you brought it up.
“Why can't you share me?” your tone sounded innocent enough, but he groaned as he pushed you out at arms length.
“I absolutely forbid you from flirting with my father.”
“I have two hands, so I could hold both of your hands at the same time!”
“Y/N, do not make me use my unique magic on you,” he warned. He watched you glare at him, but you quickly lost your composure as he reopened his arms to you, and you buried yourself against him.
He had a whole summer to keep you away from his father.
Wonderful.
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Broken - bonus part
Summary: It's been a year since Bucky moved in and now it's his turn to help you, only problem is you won't let him.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: No use of Y/N. Language. A lot of fluff. Eating disorder. Angst.
Word Count: 7.8K
A/N: I made this bonus part to explore more about the eating disorder that was hinted in the first couple of chapters. I had plans to incorporated in the story when I was planning on making it longer, but with how it went it didn't feel like there was a place for it. I'd like to thank @ordelixx for giving me the idea for this additional part. Hope you enjoy it, I'm always open to more ideas so feel free to spam in my inbox or messages, know I always appreciate it! also sorry it took me so long to finish this but I started it and then kind of lost inspiration :(
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Masterlist
It’s been a year since Bucky arrived at the tower and about 11 months since his hearing.
As conditioned by his pardon he’s been going to therapy, he’s been training with the team and has been doing more and more missions, on probation, but still he’s been doing better than ever.
Even Tony had to admit that the more time he spent with Bucky the more the super soldier grew on him.
If a few months ago he begrudgingly spent time with the super soldier at your request, if anything to spend time with you too since you’re still inseparable, now Tony actively seeks him out; wanting to study his new vibranium arm, testing his gadgets since he got hurt less easily than the others. Or sometimes simply to talk about things like astronomy after Tony found out about Bucky’s interest in the subject.
They’ve even had a few conversations on Howard and his friendship with the sergeant back in the 40s.
You're proud of all the progress Bucky’s made, and you appreciate the fact that getting more comfortable in the 21st century and becoming more confident didn’t make him pull away from you.
It's a fear you had, that maybe Bucky stuck to you because you were the first person after Steve that made him feel safe, that the more people he got familiar with the more he was gonna pull away from you, not needing you as much anymore.
But, to your delight, Bucky’s still as touchy and clingy towards you as ever, if anything he's grown even more affectionate.
He never lets a day go by without telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you, kissing you any chance he gets and holding you tight every night in the room the two of you have been officially sharing the last few weeks since you’ve all moved to the new Avengers Compound upstate.
You love Bucky’s attention and you’re just as affectionate towards him as he is towards you. Everything was going great.
Until it wasn’t.
You’re on your way to your room, looking forward to seeing Bucky after a full morning of mission reports with Steve and then training with Natasha.
She obviously kicked your ass and you're exhausted, wanting nothing more than to be in his warm embrace for the rest of the day.
Thankfully, it’s friday afternoon and you have no new missions which means your weekend is wide open.
You stop on your tracks when you hear your name being mentioned in a conversation right around the corner.
You recognize one of the voices as Sharon Carter, one of the agents of Shield that lives and works at the compound the Avengers now reside in.
You don’t know why you stop to listen in on the conversation, you’re not really one to eavesdrop, but something about her tone makes your legs refuse to move towards her direction. Which just so happens to be the way towards the Avengers only part of the building.
Your stomach drops when you hear the other girl’s next sentence.
"And can you believe she got Sergeant Barnes to date her?" Sharon groans before answering.
"Of course she did, he was all broken and vulnerable and she was like the first person he met at the tower. He obviously got attached to the first person that was nice to him, otherwise how do you think a girl like her could ever have a chance with him?" she says matter-of-factly.
"You’re right, I mean he’s probably still with her just out of habit. He’s too nice to hurt her feelings." the other girl says, giggling.
"Exactly." Sharon agrees, laughing with her friend. "I mean, he’d never go for her if he met her today. He’d probably be flirting his way through the actually pretty girls that live around here, like you and me."
You can hear their laughter growing louder as they get closer to where you are frozen on your spot and feel yourself starting to panic.
You can’t face them right now, the only thing on your mind is finding a place to hide in.
You see a door behind you and you sprint to it, reaching it, running inside and closing the door softly in record time. You press your ear up against it and can hear the muffled laughter and some more comments on you and Bucky.
When they’re finally far enough that you can’t hear them, you let yourself relax, pressing your back against the door and looking into the dark closet you’re hiding in while you let their words really sink in, your brain working overtime to make sure you didn’t misheard or misinterpreted anything.
Once you’re sure you indeed heard everything correctly, tears start to form in your eyes.
Is that really what people think? That Bucky’s just with you because he pities you?
You’ve always known Bucky was beautiful, definitely the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in your life, and you’ve always known he was out of your league.
You know you’re by no means thin, but you also don’t consider yourself fat, especially not after all the work that it took you to get to a place where you have a healthy relationship with your body.
Yes, you still have your doubts and insecurities, but that’s just in your head.
Although here you are, hiding in a supply closet, tears streaming down your face, because there are actual people outside of your head that see your flaws too.
One thing is to wonder about this stuff in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep, the voices in your head taking over, but to hear those same thoughts coming out of someone else’s mouth hit you hard.
You don’t even know how long you stay hidden, but at some point you snap out of it and dry your tears, opening the door and making the way to your room.
It feels like only a second passes and then you’re opening the door of yours and Bucky’s room. You make a beeline for the bathroom, barely acknowledging your boyfriend when he greets you as you lock the bathroom door behind you.
Bucky’s eyebrows furrow at your cold shoulder, immediately getting worried. He gets up from the bed and knocks on the door of the bathroom calling out for you. "Everything okay?"
You can hear the concern in his voice and it only makes you feel worse as you find yourself wondering if he’s actually worried or just that good at pretending.
You look at your reflection in the mirror and all of a sudden you feel nauseous but you barely have time to realize it’s not just in your head when you’re suddenly throwing up in the toilet.
Bucky’s more worried than ever as he hears you be sick from the other side of the door. "Doll, I need you to talk to me or I will break down the door."
He knows it may not be the ideal thing to say, but his concern outweighs his rational thinking when you stop making sounds as he still hasn't heard your voice and is worried you might’ve passed out.
"I’m okay." your voice is quiet, but at least you’re conscious.
"Can you open the door for me, doll?" He can hear you sigh and shuffle a bit, probably getting up. Then he hears the faucet of the sink being turned on as you splash some water on your face.
He’s a little calmer now, patiently waiting for you and he lets out a little breath of relief when he hears the lock click.
You open it reluctantly, trying your best to look normal, but Bucky can see right through you.
"What’s wrong, baby?" he brings his hands to your cheeks and you can’t help but lean into them for a second before you grab his wrists and gently lower his hands, his face more worried than before.
"I’m fine, Bucky." you say, your voice almost emotionless.
"You were just throwing up. You’re not fine." it takes all of him not to reach for you again, not wanting to cross your boundaries.
"It’s nothing. Maybe I’m just sick. I’ll take a shower, it’ll make me feel better." You don’t give him time to respond as you close the door and lock it again, starting the shower.
Bucky feels like he can barely breathe, your behavior making him more worried than he’s been since the 40s and he had to take care of sickly little Steve.
Youìve never acted like this with him, when you were sick or even grumpy from your period you usually became clingy and wanted him around even more than you usually do. But he gives you the benefit of the doubt.
If you were sick this wasn’t the moment to think about himself. He has to take care of you first and he can ask more later you when you're feeling better.
With new resolve he heads towards the kitchen, determined to get everything you might need to make you feel better.
You stay in the shower for over an hour, trying to avoid Bucky as much as you can, but you know you had to get out and face him eventually.
When you come out of the bathroom you find him sitting in the desk chair, the desk full of things you’re pretty sure weren’t there when you entered the room.
Bucky's on his feet and coming towards you in a second, your favorite pair of pajamas in his hand.
"Are you feeling better?" he asks you softly, worry still present on his features.
You can’t bring yourself to look at him, taking the clothes and changing as fast as you can, a small ‘I’m fine’ leaving your lips.
"What's all of this?" you ask, stepping around him and walking towards the desk.
"Oh, I just brought you some things to make you feel better." He can't help himself as he wraps his arms around you from behind while you look through the things he brought you.
He got you all sorts of pain meds, your favorite snacks and drinks, your heating pad and your favorite comfort book.
You want to cry at the sight, but part of you can't help but doubt Bucky, even with how sweet he’s being.
You snap out of it when you feel Bucky give you a kiss on the shoulder and, suddenly, it all feels fake and it’s too much for you.
You place your hands on his and move his arms away from you, then start heading towards the bed.
"I’m not hungry. I just want to sleep for a bit." That's all you say as you lay down and turn your back on him, tears threatening to fall down again.
You hear him sigh behind you. Then he moves around and you feel him lay a kiss on your head before he walks out the room shutting the lights on his way, wanting to give you the space you clearly want.
You aren't sure if you're glad you can cry yourself to sleep freely or worried that him walking out solidifies the voices in your head that are telling you that maybe Bucky really doesn’t love you.
When you wake up the next morning Bucky’s arms were wrapped around you from behind.
Usually being in his hold makes you feel safe but right now all you can concentrate on is the feeling of his hands on your belly and how disgusted he would be if he woke up and realized the position you were in, no matter how many times you've been like this.
You slip away from his embrace and go to change into work out clothes. You went to sleep pretty early yesterday so it was still early in the morning when you woke up.
You aren’t expecting to meet anyone yet but, once again, you're proven wrong by the shuffling coming from the kitchen as you make your way to grab a bottle of water.
You approach carefully without making a sound and when you peak around the corner you see Steve, probably back from a morning run, in front of the counter with his back to you and a water bottle in his hand.
You try to move as quietly as possible, even with enhanced hearing your skills have gotten so good you're able to sneak around the super soldiers when needed.
You decide to use the stairs to get to the gym, the door leading to them squeaking lightly. Steve turns around at the sound but seems to decide it was nothing as he shrugs and makes his way to his room.
You’ve been at the gym for a couple of hours, stopping only to grab water from the mini fridge, when the door opens and you hear Bucky’s voice.
"Hey doll, I’ve been looking for you everywhere." His voice sounds genuinely concerned. You have to give him props on his acting skills.
"Yeah, couldn’t sleep." You say without looking at him, barely stopping your punching of the bag in front of you.
"I thought you were sick." he’s slowly getting closer, you’d almost think he was trying to corner a scared animal.
"Clearly I feel better." you shrug, trying to end this conversation as fast as possible.
You feel his hand on your shoulder and finally stop, taking a deep breath before turning to face him.
His face looks more worried than you’ve ever seen it and it almost makes you forget your own concerns about the reality of your relationship.
Almost.
"Maybe you should go visit Bruce, make sure everything’s okay." his eyes never leave your face and you try your best to hide any emotion but it’s always been too easy for him to read you so you shrug his hand from your shoulder, trying to put a little distance between you.
He looks genuinely hurt, but, again, what would you expect from a trained assassin? Pretending comes as naturally to him as breathing.
"I’m fine, Bucky." you turn back to the bag and resume your punching. You’re so lost in your own thoughts you don’t even notice him walking out of the gym.
You work out some more before deciding it’s enough and go back to your room, thankful for the first time that Bucky’s not there.
After you shower and change again you find yourself with nothing to do and, for once, you wish you had paperwork to keep you occupied and give you an excuse to avoid everybody.
You grab your purse and make your way out, mumbling something about having errands to run in the city when you come across some people in the living room, basically running out of there so fast you can’t even tell who’s actually there watching tv.
You spend the whole day running around the city, not really having a destination but when the sun starts coming down you decide to head back.
When you enter the living room you can see everyone sitting at the kitchen table.
"Finally, you’re here! We can eat now." Sam shouts happily and you know you can’t escape this.
"Sorry, didn’t realize you were waiting on me." You say quietly while sitting down in the only free chair that’s unfortunately next to Bucky.
"It’s okay, koala bear." Steve smiles from your other side. "Bucky said you weren’t feeling great, so Wanda made your favorite."
You try to look excited while smiling and thanking Wanda as she and Vision place the food on the table. If she notices something is off, she doesn't say anything, just giving you a smile of her own in return.
"Where were you all day?" Tony asks you.
"The city." you simply say, trying to sound as casual as possible while making no attempt to look at him, or make eye contact with anyone else for that matter.
But Tony seems satisfied with your answer, taking your lack of conversation for tiredness and going back to talking to Clint.
You manage to avoid all conversations with nods and hums and you can feel Bucky’s gaze on you almost as it burns but you can’t find it in yourself to look back at him.
When you feel his hand coming to rest on top of yours on the table you feel like something inside you snaps and you get up abruptly, making everybody stop as they give you confused looks.
"Excuse me, I still don’t feel well. I think I’m gonna go to my room and rest." and, without giving anyone the chance to say anything, you walk away.
There’s a second of silence before the team seems to dismiss your behavior as grumpiness from feeling sick, after all the rare times that you do get sick you get very irritable.
Bucky seems to be the only one to notice your untouched food.
After less than five minutes the door to your room opens and Bucky comes in, finding you sitting on the bed staring at nothing while being clearly lost in your head.
He makes his way to you and kneels down in front of you.
"What’s going on, doll?" He tries his luck again, putting a hand on your knee. He hopes that giving space all day allowed you to come around and now you’ll talk to him.
You prove him wrong by getting up, not even sparing him a glance, and making your way to the closet to try and busy yourself so you won’t have to look at him.
"Nothing." You offer nothing more and Bucky starts getting frustrated with you.
"What is wrong with you today?" He knows something’s wrong. He knows you better than anyone, and he’s trying to be patient with you but you’ve never acted this cold towards him and it scares him.
"Nothing is wrong." You know you’re pushing it. You know you’re doing nothing to alleviate his worries, but you can’t help the feeling that he’s the one in the wrong.
He’s the one out of line, he’s the one that betrayed your trust and hurt you and toyed with your feelings and lied to you about his own. You had every right to be short with him.
Right?
"Something is obviously wrong, why won’t you just talk to me?!" He almost whines and you roll your eyes, your own unjustified irritation coming out.
"Oh, for the love of God, just give it a rest!" you almost yell, and the surprise you find in yourself is nothing compared to the one on Bucky’s face.
"What?" he’s almost whispering and the hurt in his voice for some reason just infuriates you more.
"Stop treating me like I’m made of glass! Not everyone is as needy as you, you know. I’m a grown ass adult and I don’t need you!" You can’t stop shouting, knowing full well you don’t mean a word you’re saying. But you want to hurt him as much as you’re hurting, as wrong as that is.
"Don’t you think I know that you don’t need me?!" He’s yelling too now, and you know you pushed the right button "I know damn well how strong you are, but that doesn’t mean I can’t still worry about you!"
"I don’t need you to worry about me!"
"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because I love you and I want you to be okay!" God, even shouting he’s still being nice to you.
"Well, that’s too damn bad for you, because it’s none of your business if I’m okay!" Not the best response, but at this point you honestly have no idea of even control of what’s coming out of your mouth anymore.
"God, why are you being such a child about this?!" Bucky barely understands what’s going on right.
The two of you have never fought before, not so much as an argument, and now here you are in a yelling match that started because he's concerned about you.
"Oh boo freaking hoo, poor Bucky having to deal with a child! If you don’t like me just say so!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!" He’s beyond confused now.
"If you don’t want this," you gesture between the two of you "just leave! Go and find someone you actually like! Don’t stay with me just because you feel like you have to!"
"When did I ever say that? Are you out of your mind?!"
"Yes, I’m crazy! Now just leave me the fuck alone!" you yell at the top of your lungs and Bucky seems to freeze in his spot.
Assuming this is over, you turn around and climb into bed, your back to Bucky once again.
When you hear him sigh and start moving you feel like you’re reliving yesterday, except this time you don’t expect him to kiss you but just leave.
He turns off the lights, but you frown when you don’t hear the door, instead you feel the bed dip behind you. You tense up when Bucky’s arms wrap around you from behind, bringing you closer to him with your back pressed against his chest.
"I will choose you over everyone. Even on the days where we don’t understand each other." He whispers in your ear after a moment of silence and you can’t do anything to stop the tears that start coming out as you feel Bucky holding you tighter without saying another word.
You want to believe him, you really do. But Sharon’s voice in your head is like a net, not allowing you to fall fully into Bucky, not being able to accept that someone like him truly loves you.
So you start spending your days by yourself, avoiding people as much as possible.
Everytime you're in a room with someone all you can think about is how they're probably judging you, making just want to run away and hide.
But isolating yourself does nothing to ease your worries as you now spend all your time overthinking and hating on yourself.
You start pulling away from Bucky too and it's killing him.
You still won't talk to him, everytime you're together you pretend that everything's fine.
You put on a smile he knows is fake, really doing the bare minimum to keep a conversation going and when he touches you he always gets the feeling that you wanted nothing more than to slap his hands away.
But you always try to be discreet as you inch away from him with any excuse that comes to mind.
It's the change in your relationship with Bucky that starts to clue the team in on your behavior.
As much as they have fun giving you shit for it, they all admire your closeness and were happy that you found each other.
So they start paying more attention to you. Everybody can see something's wrong, but if you wouldn’t talk to Bucky about it, really what chance do they have?
It doesn't stop them from worrying though, seeing how you seem to waste away.
You spend too much time in the gym, losing weight at an alarming rate and not getting enough sleep to function, sometimes resulting in you falling asleep during meetings or on the mat at the gym.
But you refuse to let Bruce look at you. You refuse any help really, your temper shorter than ever as you end up snapping at people more often than not.
You try to keep it together, but it's obviously not working. The only thing you manage to do is avoiding meals without anyone noticing.
After weeks on end of this, the team decides to do something to try and cheer you up, taking the opportunity of your birthday coming up.
Steve manages to convince Tony to have a small party, just the team and agents of Shield, instead of one of his big parties full of strangers.
They're careful when they approach you with the subject, having taken to walking on eggshells around you. You can’t help feeling bad for the way you’ve been treating them, so you decide to be cool about the party, even knowing deep down you’ll regret it.
Natasha and Wanda offer to go shopping with you for a new dress for the occasion, but you decline their invitation.
You know they're trying to be nice, but just the thought of going from store to store, seeing all those beautiful, skinny women trying on pretty dresses you’d never be able to fit into, together with the two gorgeous redheads, it sounds like hell to you.
Which is why you ask the team to have a more informal dress code than usual, allowing you to dress as comfortable as you can be at the moment with loose fitting pants and a large hoodie.
You arrive at the party in the ballroom of the compound that Tony just had to have and are thankful to see everyone dress casually, most of the girls not even wearing dresses.
But you still try not to linger too long on their looks, not wanting to feel worse than you already do about your own appearance.
Arms wrap around your body and you hear Bucky wish you a happy birthday.
You give him a few seconds before you wiggle away from the embrace and turn around. You give Bucky your best fake smile and thank him before kissing him quickly on the cheek and walking away towards the bar to get some water.
You don't need to be getting drunk and throwing up more than you already do every time your stomach forces you to eat anything.
You spend the whole night going from person to person, trying not to talk to anyone too long and making sure to always keep moving to avoid too many questions.
You know it's only a matter of time before they start coming. Even Fury is present, worried about you ever since he had to take you off missions for passing out on the field.
Soon came the moment you’d been dreading most: Wanda comes toward you with your favorite cake with candles lit and everybody starts singing.
You know that with being the center of attention you won't be able to get away with not eating and the team would piece things together if you try, having already gone through this years ago.
Honestly, you're a little disappointed nobody had figured it out yet, but not entirely surprised as you told yourself everyone just didn’t care enough.
And why should they when you look the way you do?
Everyone cheers as you blow on the candles, fake smile still going strong. The cake is cut and everyone is enjoying Wanda’s culinary talent. You even manage to eat yours and keep it down without looking disgusted with yourself.
Everything was going great.
You're behind the bar now taking another water bottle from the mini fridge when you accidentally knock over a glass full of straws that was thankfully made of plastic so it didn’t break.
While you're picking up straws you hear footsteps getting close to the bar that hid your kneeling figure and stop what you're doing when you hear Sharon talking about you. Again.
"And did you see how she’s dressed to her own party? No wonder Bucky’s been staying as far away as possible all night." she's basically whispering, but it's still loud enough for you to hear.
"I know, he’s probably ashamed of her. Wouldn’t surprise me if he dumped her tonight." the two girls giggle the sound seems to snap you out of your trance.
You get up so fast you scare Sharon and the other girl, their startled squeals drawing the attention of the rest of the party as everybody prepares for any danger.
But there is no danger, all everybody can see is two mortified looking agents and you with tears in your eyes that you don't even feel starting to fall.
The whole team is worried sick, everybody getting closer to the bar, but Bucky is the one that's at your side before you can even think about blinking the tears away.
"What’s wrong, baby?" he looks so worried, almost like he himself is about to cry at the mere thought of you being in pain.
But that can't be it, that's not what you're seeing.
He's probably just embarrassed you're being overly emotional for no apparent reason, and that look in his eyes is him getting ready to break up with you right here and now.
At that thought you can literally feel the cake you just ate coming back up and all you can do is run as fast as you could towards the nearest bathroom with a very concerned Bucky running after you after silently agreeing with Steve with a single look that he’ll be the one to check on you.
You make it to the toilet just in time to unload, barely registering two hands taking your hair and holding it away from your face.
You finish vomiting and clean your mouth with some toilet paper before throwing it in and flushing it, shuffling your body backwards until your back hits the tub and you close your eyes while resting your head back against it.
You feel your hair falling back down on your shoulders and can make out the sound of the faucet running for a few seconds before you feel a wet towel gently brushing your cheeks and mouth.
You open your eyes and are met with Bucky kneeling in front of you, seemingly examining every inch of your face to try and understand what’s going on.
Before he can ask you for what felt like the thousandth time though, you can't hold yourself back anymore.
"Please don’t leave me." your voice is weak enough already from all the vomiting and the sobs that start coming in certainly don't help.
Tears start to fall like waterfalls but you don't let any of that stop you from going on. "I know I said I didn’t need you, but I do. I need you so much more than you could ever know."
Bucky wraps his arms around you and he's more than relieved when you don't pull away for the first time in weeks.
Instead, you cling to him as you keep pleading with him not to leave you in between broken sobs while he moves you to sit curling on his lap.
Bucky’s heart breaks for you and he wonders if this was how you felt everytime you comforted him, feeling even more in awe of you now that he knows how hard it was to see the person you love like this.
All he wants is to make you feel better and take away all your pain, but he had no idea how.
When you show no signs of calming down after several minutes he decides to try to talk you down, hoping not to make things worse.
"Doll, I need you to calm down." he tries to pull away just enough to look you in the eyes, but you just hug him tighter, almost terrified that he's just gonna get up and leave forever if you let go and you start getting more agitated by the second.
!Baby, please try to take deep breaths." he's trying really hard not to panic himself now. "I’m not leaving, I promise. I’m staying right here with you, but you need to calm down, please."
Maybe it's because he's basically begging you, maybe it's because of the panic and concern you think you can hear in his voice or maybe it's his grip getting impossibly tight on you that grounds you, but your brain seems to clear just enough to give your body the command and you start trying to take deep breaths.
When you loosen your hold on Bucky he grabs one of your hands and puts it on his chest right over his heart, the steady beating giving you something to concentrate on as you try your best to copy his breathing.
It takes a few more minutes but you calm down, tears still falling silently down your cheeks while Bucky rubs your back with his metal hand, his other warm hand still over yours on his chest.
"I’m sorry I’m such a mess…" Your voice sounds foreign to your own ears, quiet, full of sadness and desperation.
This isn’t you.
This isn’t the confident, strong woman that kicked ass and defended Bucky even to your own family from day one.
What happened to you?
Unbeknownst to you, Bucky's asking himself the same question.
What happened to the sweet, bright girl that offered him a hug after five seconds of knowing him? The girl that calmed him down from a panic attack and kept him company through the night even after knowing about his past?
The girl that let him hang onto her like a koala and allowed him to let it all out? The girl that was patient with him, understanding and never once judged him, no matter how broken she’d seen him?
He really can't think of anything that could've happened to break you this much, to bring you to basically have a meltdown on a bathroom floor.
But whatever it was he needs to know now, and he's more determined than ever to find out.
"Doll, you’re not a mess. You’re hurting, I can see it. We all can. And I know you’re strong, but everybody needs help once in a while. Whatever’s been happening, you don’t have to go through it alone. Just like you didn’t let me go through anything alone. You were always there for me, you’re always there for everybody." he pauses and you take the moment to spiral further.
This is the only reason why he’s still with you. You were there for him, you cared and comforted him. So he feels the need to stay with you because Bucky’s loyal, no matter what his feelings actually are.
But he’s gonna fall in love one day with someone, and what is that gonna mean for you? He’s gonna leave you to be with the person he actually wants, loyalty or not. Your fall down the rabbit hole is stopped by Bucky’s voice.
"Please let me be there for you. This is killing me, watching you do this to yourself. Please tell me what’s going on, baby, because you’re scaring me so fucking much. Please." he finishes in a whisper.
Before you can even properly process his words, you feel a tear that's not yours fall on your cheek, making your eyes widen and you look up to see Bucky already looking down at you with tears rolling down his cheeks.
Your hand goes up to his face automatically and you feel him lean into it. You sit up straighter on his lap, leaning in to rest your forehead against his and closing your eyes while willing yourself to stop the tears long enough so you can talk.
Bucky doesn't push you, finding comfort in your touch after having missed it for what, in his opinion, is too damn long.
"I’m sorry… I just…" you don't even know how to start to explain it.
Bucky can see you're having a hard time finding the words, so he tries to help by saying "You don’t need to rush it, doll. I don’t want to push you to talk about something you clearly don’t want to... But I’ve just been so worried. You’ve been pushing everyone away, and you don’t sleep and stay at the gym until you almost pass out. You think that I don’t hear you throwing up, but I do. And, even with all your oversized clothes, I can see how much weight you’ve been losing. It’s killing me, baby, I hate to see you like this. I just want to know why." he kisses the side of your head and you're on the verge of tears again.
Trying hard to hold them back, you force yourself to speak. "I heard some people talking about me…" you start, your voice still quiet, and you go on to tell him everything.
The conversation you overheard, the insecurities that it brought to the surface, the issues you had in the past and the struggle you’ve been having the last few weeks.
By the end of it Bucky he doesn't know what to feel. He's enraged, worried sick, sad at how miserable you’ve been. Just to name a few.
But more than anything he's heartbroken at how much you’ve been questioning your relationship with him and his love for you. He's devastated to think that everytime he told you how much he loves you, you doubted him and convinced yourself he was lying.
And the worst part is he has no idea how to change your mind.
Is there anything he can say that you won’t doubt? Anything he can do to show you how much you mean to him? Probably not, but he has to try and make you understand.
Your eyes are still closed, not daring to see the disappointment in Bucky’s face.
"Baby, look at me." he says firmly but gently enough to not make you think he was in any way mad at you.
He waits patiently until you look at him which, after taking a deep breath, you do and only then he continues while taking your face in his hands "There are so many things I want to tell you right now... but I’ll start with I love you, doll. I love you so much it actually hurts. Maybe we got close because you were nice and patient with me, but that’s not why I love you. I love you because you’re kind and smart and strong and dedicated. You can kick ass like no one else and you’re still the sweetest person I’ve ever met. And I’m almost 100, I’ve met a lot of people." he smiles when he finally gets you to giggle, the first real laugh he’s heard from you in weeks.
"You’re compassionate and understanding and loyal and beautiful beyond compare. I fell in love with you because of who you are, not what you look like. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re pretty, I think you’re gorgeous and I love your body. I love everything about you. Every. Single. Thing." he punctuates every word with a kiss to each of your cheeks and then your nose, making you giggle more. "You think I’d ever leave you? I could never even consider being with someone else. God, you were never even supposed to mean this much to me! I was never supposed to fall so hard... But you know what? I did and that’s the truth, and that’s what keeps me holding on because it hurts like hell to let you go."
You're obviously in tears, not being able to look away from Bucky’s eyes even if you wanted because of his hold on your face, not that you're trying that hard to get away.
You have no words to describe the way you feel, not even being sure if you fully believe him. The look on his face, though, makes you want to believe. Makes you want to tell all the voices in your head to fuck off until the only one left is Bucky’s saying all the things he just said, over and over again.
But can you really let go of them that easily?
"You don’t have to carry this by yourself, doll." Bucky can see your internal struggle. "Lean on me. Let me help you make this easier."
There's nothing but sincerity in his eyes, he can't possibly be that good of an actor to be faking it, right?
So you decide to trust him.
You trust him with your life, why can’t you believe that he really loves you?
You can. You do.
You will...
"Okay…" You’re basically whispering, still a little worried he’s just pretending and is gonna rip the rug from under you any second now. "I love you, so much. And I want to believe you love me… but it may take me a little while to accept that completely. I’m sorry…"
"You don’t need to apologize, baby. It doesn’t matter how much time it takes, I’m here for all of it. I want nothing more than to help you feel better, starting with helping you love yourself as much as I love you." he wipes your tears with his thumbs before he gives you a soft kiss on the lips. "And not worrying what jealous, unimportant, random people think of you. You’re beautiful inside AND out, don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. Not even this." He taps the side of your head.
You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, neither one of you needing to say more at the moment. After a few minutes like this, you’re both done crying and you let go just enough to look at each other.
"Can we go to our room?" you ask him and he nods, letting you get off his lap and then getting up with you.
He doesn’t let you get too far from him while you go to the sink to try and make yourself look decent as he follows you so closely you might think you’re glued to each other.
Your eyes meet in the mirror and he smiles at you, wrapping his arms around your waist, he gives you a kiss on the shoulder before resting his head on it.
You successfully wash off all the makeup you put on for the party, your efforts now ruined by all the crying.
"You’re so pretty." Bucky tells you, his eyes never leaving yours and you smile a real smile this time, turning your head to give him a kiss on the cheek that makes him smile even more.
You get out of the bathroom and you tense up seeing everybody still at the party, your breath hitching in your throat as embarrassment crawls up on you.
You can see the team’s worried looks and the last thing you want right now is to go through the last 40 minutes all over again, in front of everybody.
You just want to go to your room and cuddle up with Bucky, but the super soldier had other plans.
"Can I have everybody’s attention?" you look at him with a frown, but he simply smiled at you and keeps going once the whole room is looking at you two. "It’s been brought to my attention that some of you have some misconceptions about our relationship."
You didn’t tell Bucky who you heard the conversation from, only that it was two agents just in case he might think it was someone on the team, and it almost looks like he's scanning every agent’s face to try and figure out who it was, but he continues nonetheless.
"I’d just like to make it clear for everyone that not only I love this woman more than life itself, but I, and everyone who knows her for that matter, think she’s the best, most caring person I’ve ever met. Not to mention the most attractive, in my ever so humble opinion." he wraps his metal arm around your waist and brings you closer as your face gets redder, and you can see the team chuckling and grinning at Bucky’s possessiveness and your flustered form. "And it’s also absolutely none of your business what happens in our relationship. But, since you’re all here I might as well give you something real to gossip about."
To say you're confused is an understatement. You turn back to him when Bucky’s arm disappear from around you just in time to see him reach into his back pocket, pulling out a ring box and getting down on one knee.
You hear gasps around the room, your own being muffled by your hand in front of your mouth as your eyes grow wide.
"Bucky..." It's barely a whisper to begin with, your hand almost not letting it escape at all.
"Baby, I meant every single thing I’ve said today. I love you so much. I’ve been carrying this around for a couple of months, looking for the right time to do this. But when you started pushing me away I thought maybe you were changing your mind about me. I was terrified and decided to wait, but I realize now if I had done this when I first wanted to, the last few weeks probably wouldn’t have happened. I could’ve saved you so much pain... I don’t know if this is the right time, but I do know that I’ve been ready for a while and right now I honestly can’t think of a better way to show you just how much you really mean to me. So…" he opens the box to reveal a rose gold ring with one big diamond at the center and two smaller ones on each side of it, then he takes your free hand on his. "Doll, will you marry me?"
He can feel you trembling, tears forming in your eyes once more as the whole room seems to hold their breath.
"Yes!" you're finally able to get out and Bucky feels like he can breathe again, happiness spreading throughout his whole body.
You basically throw yourself on him and he catches you with ease, getting up on his feet while you wraps your legs around his waist like a koala.
There's a chorus of cheers, the team immediately gathering around you to congratulate you both.
It feels like too little time when you finally detach from Bucky as he gently put you on the ground before slipping the ring on your finger and kissing it, his eyes never leaving yours, silently telling you he belongs to you and only you.
You’re about to lean in for a kiss when two strong arms pick you up making you squeal, Steve’s laughter in your ear as he says something about finally having a sister-in-law and making everybody laugh.
After a good 15 minutes of hugs left and right, Bucky intervenes.
"Okay, okay, can you please not smother my future wife?" your heart skips a beat when he says that and you're sure you're smiling like an idiot as he makes his way through the team to get to you.
"You know, he actually asked me for my blessing. I told you he cares very much about you." Tony whispers to you while he passes, giving you one last squeeze and a wink before everybody gives you and Bucky a moment.
He wraps his arms around your waist and finally kisses you.
When you pull away you both have big, goofy grins, never wanting this moment to end.
There's no separating you, and now everybody knows it.
Requested taglist: @aesthetic0cherryblossom @buchi91 @sapphirebarnes
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes imagine#sebastian stan#marvel fanfiction#bucky x reader#bucky x you#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes x f!reader#avengers x reader#avengers x platonic reader#avengers x platonic!reader
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Hey Abigail, I don't know if you'll see this, but I just wanted to say it. You were not out when I started questioning my own identity, and honestly you came out online only a month or two after I finally started to admit to myself that something was off (transgirl - honestly even now I still have a hard time admitting it in any real way on or offline; slowly been getting better at it, found a few friends who accept me online), and it took me so long to admit that. I just wanted to say and ask you one thing each.
Question first - How did you admit it internally? Like, I guess I mean... ugh brain why don't you work? Let me start over; I, personally, doubt every little thing I think and feel... I gaslight myself, and I have no real idea how to stop. I just wanted to ask if you had anything like that happen when you questioned, and if you did, if you have any advice on how to stop? Sorry if this is too personal a question btw, I understand if you don't answer for that reason. But yeah.
Now what I wanted to say... thank you for being here. For being a voice I can look up to, and for just... being you. It's nice to see someone like me being their real self and being proud and everything... so, yeah, thank you.
Thanks for reading if you have, sorry its so long, I tend to ramble, as you could probably guess.
Sounds like the question you're grappling with is "What if I'm incorrect?" which is one I considered briefly after I came out to myself. I knew intellectually that people can have strong feelings about things that turn out to be incorrect, so I thought it would be worth weighing that possibility even though emotionally I had no doubt at all. I asked a trans friend of mine about it (Mia Mulder, as it happens!) and she gave me some very good advice - who cares if you're incorrect if you're happier and better this way? If you're incorrect you can detransition: no harm or shame in trying something out for a few years or even longer and then going, "You know what, this isn't it." Do you want it and are you happy?
"I'd rather have a good time by accident than a bad time on purpose" she said
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More William cause why not ;)
Prompt: placing kisses on your lovers shoulder and nape as they are bent down, trying to focus on their work though they're very hot and bothered
Content: Includes the tiniest bit of spice but still very much sfw! Very fluffy :3
⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆
Sometimes William wondered what would end up being the death of him first: his line of work or your teasing.
Grading papers proved to be quite the difficult task, even more so when his skin was being littered with a myriad of kisses, each one more tantalizing than the last.
What was even worse was that he didn't want it to stop.
"Darling, don't you think you can save the affection for after I'm finished here?" William asked with a shaky breath, closing his eyes in an effort to ground himself. "I have to get all this homework graded by the end of the week."
He felt your lips curve into a smile against him, his skin becoming covered in goosebumps. "So you have until the end of the week to take care of it. Surely you wouldn't be spending every minute pouring over these papers. You can set aside time for a much-needed break, can't you?"
Oh, he could, especially if it meant he could feel your lips on him for even longer.
But he had to focus. It would be irresponsible for him to procrastinate on something he could finish right away. Besides, if he found himself head first in another murderous scheme, he'd have no no leisure time left for at least the next several days. Then, he'd be unable to return that week's homework to his students, and the university staff would not be pleased.
But William was pleased having your lips trail lingering kisses along his jaw, so maybe, just maybe, those papers could wait...
His mind began to grow hazy as you kissed along his nape, and every nerve in his body felt like it was being set alight. It was as if his very senses had gone haywire, your affections sending him into overdrive.
"Love, I know you want my attention but I—!"
A tiny gasp left his mouth as you kissed just below his ear, and though he was facing away from you, he could picture the grin on your face as clear as day.
"Oh, I can wait, William," you whispered against the shell of his ear, grinning even wider when he shivered, "but can you?"
He was not going to have a productive day after all.
Admitting defeat, William dropped his pen onto his desk, pushing the stack of papers into a messy pile in the corner before he turned to you and opened his arms, extending an invitation for you to sit in his lap. You took it, of course, all while wearing a proud smile.
He settled his hands onto your waist before leaning in for a kiss, sighing in a dramatic fashion. "You will be the end of me. That I am sure of."
"Well, would that really be such a bad way to go?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his neck and sneaking in another kiss there. "Being drowned in kisses from the one you adore?"
"If that is how my life should end," William replied, "I'd die the happiest man in all of London."
"Is that so?"
"But then again, if I'm dead, how will I be able to enjoy your tender affections?"
"I wonder if the people of London would still call you a terrifying criminal mastermind if they found out just how sappy you are."
"Ah, but it is all part of the plan, my darling. If I scare off all the potential suitors, I shall be the only one left for you to gaze at."
"As if I could ever love another."
William smiled, burrowing himself into the crook of your neck. "If you keep saying such things, you'll be found guilty of stealing my heart."
"Well then," you said, threading your fingers through his hair, "I suppose that makes two of us."
"Hmm. If I'm in a good mood, I won't turn you into the police."
You replied with an over-the-top gasp that made William smile. "You would never turn me in!"
"There's always the chance, but I'd be willing to bargain to keep your crime a secret."
"And how could I buy your silence?"
He laughed against you, the sound reverberating in your own chest. "Well..." And then he looked up at you with those soft, gentle eyes, ones that shone with a mixture of mischief and innocence, "I can't admit your crime if my lips are too busy returning your kisses, but I'll let you decide if that offer is enticing enough to accept."
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Song: Dial Drunk by Noah Kahan (this man's album has my HEART). Lyrics in Bold
Pairing: Dabi x Fem! Reader (flashbacks in italics) (y/h/n = your hero name)
Genre: Angsty
Warning: Toxic Relationship, mentions of alcohol, jealousy, season 6 spoiler.
I'm remembering I promised to forget you now
But it's raining, and I'm calling drunk
And my medicine is drowning your perspective out
So I ain't taking any fault
Am I honest still? Am I half the man I used to be?
I doubt it, forget about it, whatever
It's all the same, anyways
Dabi’s POV:
“I can’t do this anymore Touya!” she cried covering her hands with her face. I hate seeing her cry. “What do you mean?” The words caught her by surprise. She laughed. “I’m done. Get your shit, get out and forget about me. I can’t deal with you anymore.” her words burned. I felt the fire bubble through my chest, taking a breath as my hand started to ignite. “I will forget you. That’s a fucking promise, doll.” I spat storming out of the apartment we once shared.
Fuck I was drunk. Sitting in the dark alleyway, fumbling between the bottle and the phone that was shattered. Thoughts from years ago plagued my thoughts. I hadn’t forgotten about her. How could I? I dialed the number I had memorized many years ago. She has had over a decade to change it, to move on. “Hello?” Her sweet voice came through the speaker. She didn’t know the number. Being a villain has its perks I guess. “I miss you.” I slurred into the phone. She groaned. “This, again?” I couldn't see her but I can tell that she is pinching the bridge of her nose. “You don’t miss me. You’re drunk Toyua.” She hung up. This isn’t my fault. She kicked me out. It wasn’t the first time. Wouldn’t be the last. I dialed the number once more. It went to voicemail. I drunkenly tried to collect my thoughts. “Y/n please answer the phone. Do you still think I'm honest? Half the man I was when we were growing up? Please pick up.” I finished the bottle and struggled to open the other, shoving the phone into my pocket. I’m not letting this go. I’m not forgetting her.
I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown
In the name of someone I no longer know
For the shame of being young, drunk, and alone
Traffic lights and a transmitter radio
I don't like that when they threw me in the car
I gave your name as my emergency phone call
Honey, it rang and rang even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up
I dial drunk, I'll die a drunk, I'd die for you
“Touya, leave him alone, he didn’t do anything!” She was trying to stop me from beating the shit out of her prom date. I had dumped her about a month ago and she dared to take someone else. He got handsy and I couldn’t control myself. She looked like she needed saving. “No. You asked him to stop. He didn’t.” I spat, throwing another punch. Wouldn’t be the first time I've thrown a punch for this girl and it wouldn’t be the last. “Touya please, that's enough. I’ll go with you, just please let’s get out of here.” She pleaded. I took her hand in mine, the mascara was running down her face. I ruined her night, I can tell, but she would never admit it.
Looking back I probably could have controlled myself better, considering I hardly know her anymore. I stood, stumbling and made my way down the street to her apartment, or the league, whichever was close. “Stop” A booming voice called. Cops fuck. I tried to get away, feeling more drunk than I had just a moment ago. I ended up in the backseat of the car. “Hey, shithead, don't I get a phone call?” I cursed. He grunted but obliged anyway. “Who do you wanna call, asshole?” he spat. “Y/h/n” I mumbled, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. “You want me to call a pro hero to come pick your drunken, villain ass up?” He asked. I nodded shuffling to get my phone out of my pocket to give him the number. “She’s my emergency contact. She always will be.” I huffed. He put the phone on speaker, it rang and rang. “Hello?” the voice gumbled tiredly. I must have woken her up. “Y/n. I need you to come get me, I got locked up. Please.” I hiccuped, the car starting to spin. “Fuck you, Dabi. I hope you fucking rot.” She spat and hung up. “Damn dude, that’s cold. What did you do to her?” The cop laughed. I shook my head. “Too much..Let me call her again.” I spat once we reached the station. The cop begrudgingly agreed. The phone rang and rang. She wasn’t picking up this time.
I'm untethering from the parts of me you'd recognize
From charming to alarming in seconds
I'll be bedridden, and I'll let the pain metastasize
But that's morning, I'll forget it
And the dial tone is all I have
“It’s like I don’t even recognize you anymore!” She pleaded with me as I had gotten locked up again. She came to pick me up without complaint again and again. “Doll, do we have to do this now?” I grunted. “Yes. We do.” She was curt, shoving me into the passenger seat, I drunkenly stumbled but sat anyway, feeling the hangover start to settle in. “Doll, I can’t even see straight.” I hiccuped. She rolled her eyes. “You always do this. I tried to ignore it but I can’t anymore. It’s becoming alarming.” Her tone softened, rubbing the back of my burned hand with her soft thumb. She sighed. “We have to talk about it eventually, Touya.” her words lingered in the air, only to be forgotten in the morning.
The dial tone is all I get of her now. I miss her screaming at me to be a better person.
I'd die for you
I beg you, sir, just let me call
I'll give you my blood alcohol
I'll rot with all the burnouts in the cell
I'll change my faith I'll praise the flag
Let's wait I swear she'll call me back
"Son, are you a danger to yourself?"
Fuck that, sir just let me call
I'll give you my blood alcohol
I'll rot with all the burnouts in the cell
I'll change my faith I'll kiss the badge
Let's wait I swear she'll call me back
"Son, why do you do this to yourself?"
“Give me one more call. I don’t want to sit in this fucking cell all night.” I spat in an almost pleading tone. I would change it all for her. “We need your blood alcohol to come down before we release you, but we can’t check because you threaten to burn us alive if we get close.” The cop’s attitude had returned. “Let me call her, I will let you have my blood alcohol. I'll even sit in the cell with the rest of these idiots. Just let me call her one more time.” I sounded fucking pathetic, but I knew I could ware her down. She would crumble and come and get me, like she used to. The alcohol has my head swirling but I know I can convince her to come get me, she still loves me, she’s loved me forever. I love her. The cop sighs and hands me my phone. Drunkenly I dial her number for the 5th or 6th time tonight. No answer. I sighed holding the phone to my chest. She will call back. “Son, are you going to hurt yourself?” The cop asked, I felt my burnt tear ducts try to do something. Let’s not cry blood right now. “No. Don’t be fucking stupid. She’s gonna call me back.” The cop rolled his eyes. “Give me the phone. Why do you do this to yourself?” I shook my head, refusing orders, adding that to the charge list with being drunk and disorderly. “She will call me back.” I said with more confidence. Thankfully, she didn’t make me out to be a liar. “Y/n” I picked up on the second ring. “What police station are you at?” She demanded. I smirked, I knew I would get her to crumble. She always has. I gave her the location. “Give me 10 minutes.” She hung up before I could respond.
The 10 minutes were achingly slow, until she appeared, disheveled, hair a mess, in pajamas, last night's makeup hadn’t been washed off her face, she had been crying, over me, again. She looked beautiful. “Is he free to go, officer?” She asked curtly. The cop looked shocked. “Uh yeah, just keep him inside the rest of the evening.” He unlocked the cell. I was more sober now than when I had gotten here just hours ago. “Get in the fucking car, Dabi.” “Yes ma’am.” I replied, moving past her outside of the station. I got in the car and she just stared at me. “I love you y/n” I whispered, cupping her cheek. “I love you Touya.”
I dial drunk, I'll die a drunk, I'd die for you
#mha imagines#mha x reader#mha villains#mha dabi#dabi angst#dabi x reader#dabi x female reader#dabi x you#touya todoroki
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I'm not in the Good Omens fandom, so maybe I've got this wrong, but I suspect why everyone on my dash seems to be clamoring for an immediate fix-it besides obvious fandom impatience. I think a lot of people are convinced that basically nothing is coming back from the strikes. Tbh I kind of am myself. I've just accepted that we're never going to see Sandman s2 or GO s3 because Amazon and Netflix are shit. At least with Sandman we have the books?
I admit its a tough situation to be in. I guess for me, I am trying to have hope that the streamers will eventually see sense, because otherwise their business models are gonna fail and they are going to lose revenue anyway. Eventually some sort of deal will be made and the work will start again, I just hope beyond hope that the deal is everything the WGA and SAGAFTRA want.
I have more hope for a GOS3 than I do for a Sandman tbh. Simply because making films and TV isn't Amazon's main source of income so they can be a bit more flexible with their choices. They have renewed far less popular shows for far longer. It seems almost like the entertainment division is more a hobby or pet project for Amazon than its main focal point so IDK, I'm just not all that worried about Amazon Prime. I genuinely think Amazon is very proud of GO and they won't let go of it anytime soon. It's also one of their most popular shows so I'd be really surprised if they cancel it (though, then again, with the strikes anything can happen). We also still have the BBC backing it up I believe? Though I doubt they'd ever have the budget to take over fully if Amazon decided not to continue with it, but perhaps its possible the BBC could look for a new partner in that unlikely scenario? I dunno I'm not a media expert here by any means.
Sandman though is a different story. Extremely expensive, and on a streaming service notorious for cancelling shows mid season. With the strikes, I can see them changing their minds and cancelling Season 2 even though it started filming in some bitter attempt to get back at strikers and claim tax breaks where they can. I don't trust them at all. I loathe the Netflix execs because they have been cancelling, making excuses, and screwing over creatives for years now. They are the ones that started it all, and the other streamers simply took their ideas and ran with them. I wish Sandman had been on a different streamer. I feel like it would have been safer on Amazon Prime. Even if we do manage to get through to season 2 of Sandman, I have absolutely zero faith that we'll make it through to the end of the story on Netflix.
Though at least with Sandman, I believe (though correct me if I'm wrong) that Neil still holds all the rights, and if Netflix cancels it, he can put the option out to other networks/streamers to pick it up again? So even if Netflix does what Netflix always does, there is every possibility that it'll just jump to a different network to finish the story.
I hope that is the case, because in all honesty if I had to put money down on a bet on whether or not Netflix will follow through with Sandman right through to the Wake, I'll be betting against them. I just don't see it happening. Netflix are too flakey and well, evil, to care about stories to do it justice.
To your first point, I can understand the fear and do sympathise with fans being hurt and upset that GOS2 ended on such a grim cliffhanger, I just don't think the hate and denial and screams of "out of character!" are the way to handle that fear. But diving straight into fanfiction is a totally acceptable and encouraged way to manage the feelings anyone may have over the ending! That's totally fine! Keep the fix-its to fanfiction, but please stop clamouring for reasons why the ending was wrong and bad and stupid and worth sending Neil Gaiman inbox hate over. You're all better than that.
#Good Omens#Good Omens Season 2#good omens season 2 spoilers#the sandman#fuck the streamers#neil gaiman#anti netflix#less anti amazon prime but they are still awful#fandom discourse#asks
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Got obsessed with a new NPC, yippee!!🎉 Unfortunately he dies 😭
Anyway, here is a little bit of Niall and my new warden Valentin saying their final goodbye in the fade 🥲
Words: 836
Series: Dragon Age Origins
Ship: M!Surana/Niall
Tags: Character death, belated confessions, final goodbyes
Reality crashed upon Val like a wave, sudden and suffocating. The Litany... all Niall could speak of was the Litany, as though he had not just admitted to giving everything with the casualness of a passing comment.
'His body...'
Val shook his head slowly as though denial might displace the truth. "But there must be some way. Wynne is with us, she's a healer, she—"
Niall stopped him with a wan smile. "This isn't something any mage can undo. I have... minutes, maybe. Maybe less. Promise me you'll take the Litany."
"Of course, but—" His tone rose, words tumbling upon words in a rush to make sense of it all. "There must be something. There's always something. What about—?"
"Val," Niall spoke, quiet as a sigh. "Don't do this. It won't help you, it won't save me. I was never meant to save the circle or survive its troubles. I am dying. It is as simple as that."
"Then what do I do?" Val demanded, hands clenching uselessly at his side. "What am I supposed to do?"
"Fine. Just like you always do." His words were tinted with a morose fondness and his eyes lingered upon him like he wished to take his image with him to the Maker's side.
"I thought... I had hoped I'd bring you with me. Then you'd be free of all of this."
"I always thought it would be me that would take you from all of this. A foolish thought now, but... I wanted to. I had forgotten what it was like to hope. I saw no future for myself, I didn't really care if I lived or died. I would just keep going until I couldn't. But I wanted better for you. I thought when I was an enchanter I could raise my voice for the Isolationists, that maybe I could make a change. That you might be safer, might be happier, you wouldn't need to run away anymore."
Val's eyes fell upon Niall's form, pale and ethereal and flickering like a candle nearing the end of it's wick. "You would have done great things. You deserved better than this."
"I got what I wanted in the end. No thanks to me, but... I am happy to know you'll be alright. Even if I can't be there to see it with you. In the end, haven't we both escaped the Circle in some way? My only regret is that I could not save it. Perhaps trying to play hero was a foolish act. But if there is anyone who can, it's you."
"You weren't playing hero, Niall." Val took a step closer to him, wishing to reach out and take him in his arms the way he'd always wanted. "I would never have made it from this place were you not here."
"We both know that's not true." Niall closed the distance between them, taking Val's hand in his own and pressing it against his cheek. There was no warmth or substance, all that remained was the memory of him. "I would have liked to have loved you," he said quietly. "Just once. When we weren't trapped in a cage, but I'm glad to have known you. It was a privilege. You will be alright, Valentin, you have fought worse and come out alive."
He could resist no longer, taking Niall into his arms and embracing him in a way the templars never would have allowed. "I love you," he murmured against his hair. "Do not die believing you've done nothing for me, for the circle."
"If it's you saying it, perhaps there is some truth. Before I was taken to the Circle, my mother always said that I was meant for greatness. I hope I haven't disappointed her..."
"She'd be proud," Val assured him, "you've done well."
"If you see her by some chance, do tell her that I tried my best. But," he grew suddenly seriously, leaning back the embrace while his hands still rested upon his shoulders. "You must make it out of here alive. Do not forget the Litany, you will need it to stand any chance against the blood mages. And..." Another look, long and longing. Even among the troubled tides beneath his features, he'd never looked so at ease. "It is time for us both to be on our way. Be strong, Val."
"I... I will try. Should we meet again, it will not be today. You will not have gone in vain. Go easy into the beyond, you've nothing to wor—"
His words all but sent him on his way. Niall faded in an instant, passing on from this world and to the next.
"May your soul know peace," Val spoke to the air where Niall had been, wrapping his arms tightly around his middle so that the feeling of Niall's embrace would not leave him just yet. "And may your ashes know rest."
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SAILOR MOON
I had a really close connection to this show and stuff, because it was always my moms favorite. (So much so that she named her cats luna and Artemis because of it), and it was was also close to my older cousin, who my mom raised. This was supposed to be a birthday present for her, but she was absolutely awful to me when I tried to meet up with her recently, so it's a birthday present for myself. (We share a birthday so it's very silly) . This took significantly longer than I'd like to admit, but I'm still very proud of it. :]
If you like this, please rebog it. It'll make me bounce and giggle and stim with glee. /gen /nf
(I might post a timelapse and wip's of this if y'all would be interested)
#Sailor Moon#digital art#my art#fanart#usagi tsukino#artists on tumblr#This took like... 20 hours... According to ibis paint...#Oopsies
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Campfire Stories
The next server bank was a bust, completely ruined by bombs, raiders, weather and time; but Freija decided it was late enough to stop. The bombed out ruin of city held little to look for.
"You actually camp? In a tent?" Thomas watched Freija tie her hammock tent into the exposed ceiling joists with an incredulous brow raised.
The second floor of the office building gave them a good view of the area without being too obvious, and smelled mostly of dust. Even the bugs ran out of food here.
"I was about to ask what you did," Freija chuckled. "You'll sooner go back to orbit, won't you?"
"I try to divide my activities into tasks so I can get parts done and stop, instead of being caught in the open in the dark," the Warlock replied. "I should have said something when we got done in the last one."
"I wouldn't have stopped anyway." The chipper grin had a feral undertone that Thomas could appreciate. "I have a backup tent, if you want. They're not meant to be shared or I would." She knelt in place as a pack materialized on the ground in front of her and the harmony between her and her Ghost stung Thomas again. "Or you can go to orbit and we can ping you down with coordinates."
He couldn't decide if she was teasing or patronizing. "I'll try and tough it out, I'm a big boy." Freija offered the folded tent, and he untangled it to examine. If she'd asked him to build a shelter in a forest, he'd have a full cabin in an hour, but this 'survival gear' of the spoiled Tower-dwellers worked just as well and embarrassed him with his inexperience. "Don't help and don't watch if you can't keep that look off your face. I can do it, I just can't make it look easy." He narrowed his amber eyes at her and she grinned as she ducked her head between her shoulders.
"Alright, then I'm gonna go establish perimeters," she declared, placing her M5 across her back and picking up Polaris Lance. "Don't die."
~
He did fine and Freija didn't come across any active threats, so the evening wound down pleasantly. This chunk of world saw a cool breeze come in with sundown, batting down the growing humidity. The Guardians spent a while studying a Golden Age map of computer network from a telecommunications company that went bust before the Exodus program.
After the sun's last color faded and the night truly set in, with the only lights coming from the Ghosts and Freija, the pair took their boots off and settled into their hammock-tents.
"What did you do before the Vanguard?" asked Freija. "Like, all Guardians, not just you, but also just you."
"The same thing any super-powered immortal would do-- we went to war. Thus the title Warlords. Gathered little groups of normal people, got them to feed us with promises to protect them from the rest of us." He picked at his teeth. "I'm not certain I'm ready to tell you about my longer history."
"Why not?"
"I'm not better than anyone else." The warlock didn't squirm, but he fixed his eyes to the dark for several moments before he shook himself. "I'm not proud of it."
"I've crushed Ghosts," Freija pointed out. "Killed refugees. I'm still ashamed of ever having set foot on the Tangled Shore, and I was a baby back then. I haven't had a long time to be a monster, but I'm still a monster."
Thomas rocked his head and frowned with thought. "You're such a bleeding heart, it's hard to think."
The Titan cocked her head curiously. "Were you a Warlord? I know I'd have been one. Probably with the best intentions, at least at first. I know how I get."
Thomas chortled and picked at his teeth again. "You'd start a whole country, getting bored and traveling between three or four settlements." He stuck a leg down to swing. "I wouldn't have called me a Warlord, but I'm sure the mortals I kept with me would have," he eventually admitted.
Freija's curious brow creased further and Thomas looked skyward to shed the scrutiny. "I didn't mean to start the collection, they followed me because I was Risen and because they didn't have anything else. I'd happen on bands while I wandered, they'd join me, and we would wander together. I thought of them as equals, but they saw me as something like a god. I didn't feel the rift until one of them died. I did my best to do right. I kept them as safe as I could. I also killed... a lot of people in the process. I didn't try very hard to find a way around it, but even if I had... killing normal humans is... too easy. Even hand-fighting." He took a long, slow breath and blew it through pursed lips, finally lowering his eyes to his companion. "So, to answer your question more directly, yes. I don't feel like I was, but by pretty much any standard of the definition, I was."
The gleaming silver ironically hid any real expression. "I always wondered," she said eventually. "Not-hyphen-warlord. Funny to think about you, though."
He snorted another soft laugh. "Yeah. Rex misses those days. I don't."
"You kept a band of humans?"
"Got followed," Thomas corrected, irritated with remembering any of it. He didn't remember any lines, any discussions, but he did remember feeling forced to take these people under his protection, because anything else was abandoning them to die. "But because they were following me, I felt like I needed to protect them." His breath hitched and he rolled. "During hungry times, I let myself starve, giving them my share of the food. Rex tried to heal me through it, because the damage could be healed-- he'd restore the muscle and fill the bone, he could even put my fat back. But the hunger couldn't be healed away. Stomach stays empty, no matter how fat you are. I had them execute me when it hurt just to start over. Kept me strong enough to help hunt."
He didn't look at the expression on the Titan's face, but he could still see more light than usual from her eyes. Thomas turned his view away and tried to speak, but he couldn't get his voice above a whisper. "And that still wasn't as bad as failing to save Til."
Freija sucked another breath, but he heard sympathy in this one, not surprise. "Yeah. That part sucks," she said. "It's only happened a few times. I can't imagine it being someone I know."
He did know that. She liked finding strays and helping them find homes. And more than a few times, she'd lost one in the process. "Yeah." He rolled back over and saw Freija watching the dark instead of him, which made him feel better. "Yeah. It made me so.... Fucking... Jealous when I saw what Titans could do. That would have been perfect."
Freija offered a non-committal, "uh huh," but he could tell she hurt for him.
Thomas swung lightly in the hammock, kicking his leg to get going. "I rose about the time the Iron Lords were founded, so I didn't have too many Warlords to deal with. Most of the threats were nature and other independent humans troops and Fallen. Eliksni. When the Iron Lords found me, I was quick to declare myself Risen, not Warlord, and they took my people in with their own, and I joined in to help out. Spent time with them and wandering. Got to help with the Tower foundations, that was a whole big thing. Worked for a long time in salvage. I liked the chance to settle. Didn't get into the Ahamkara hunts, but only because I knew I didn't have the power, and I worried I would wish on accident. Last thing we need to find out is if I could become a Titan by dying and rising again."
Freija snickered. "Yeah, I can see that. So that's the wanna-be-a-Titan thing? How often did that kind of thing happen?"
Thomas swatted the air passively. "It's more than that, but at the same time, it's even simpler. A barricade would have been infinitely more useful than my rift the entire Dark Age. I don't know if we're actually physically weaker or if it's just me. I'm just not that great with my Light. I don't think my jump would be better but I would get more mercy for it if I could get my Light under my feet."
Freija hummed with thought. "I wish I had a rift sometimes. Takes forever to get safe enough for Sunny, sometimes, leaves me to hide and bleed out. But-- just so you know, the jump is more like it's pushing from my hips, not my feet. Legs are for steering. Hunters are the ones that use their feet. What do you guys use? You all fly like you have wings, like it's a pull up from your shoulders instead of a push from beneath."
Thomas watched the shining eyes and shimmering skin in the darkness. "You're so weird," he told her, not for the first time.
She kicked irritably and fell back into the tent, out of view. "Sarah was smarter than me. Sometimes it shows when things are quiet and still enough. She had an eye for details, patterns. You always say that when I say something that isn't stupid."
"It's not about stupid or smart, it's just what I expect from history, what you say, and what you showed me. You say you don't notice detail and you're bad at puzzles. You say you can't keep track of what's going on in combat. You say you struggle with conversations, your armor and weapon mods, your aim. I have seen, personally, every single one of these things. You're impatient and foolhardy and insensitive and there's been a lot of times where I think you forgot to even look at your mods when you swapped kits.
"And yet you talk scared people out of fighting without speaking their language. You start fires with Polaris Lance at distances that require spotters and bullet trajectory math. You predict enemy crucible tactics with what looks like cheating or clairvoyance. You made an offhand joke at a puzzle that turned out to be a truth that helped me finish it. And you tell me, by looking, how each class uses their Light to move through the air."
Thomas couldn't watch her as the tent swung with her weight. "Sarah could do it. Sunny says it's because it's too much effort to move as fast and hard as I do and think like she did at the same time. She put it like, I have a max capacity. I can split it up to wherever but putting half the effort into thinking means half the effort going to running and shooting."
Thomas gave her a sound of acknowledgement. "Something else," he said again, closing off his tent.
~~
Request
Communication
The Database
Something Else
Campfire Stories
Jealousy
Bickering
Revealed
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I'm perhaps one of the most easy to please Pokemon fans ever. I wouldn't identify myself as a nintendo fanboy or anything even though I love a lot of their IPs (largely because the number one prerequisite to being a "nintendo fanboy" is hating Nintendo more than anything on earth it seems), but I will be the first to admit my standards are much lower than they should be. I eat up everything Pokemon related like the blindly eager little consumer I am, I've beaten every main series game and damn near every spin-off.
All this to say I think it says something when even I haven't beaten BDSP yet, and not for lack of trying. But the game bored me to tears. I've reset my saves on that game more than any other I have in the hopes that "well, maybe the next file I'll be more attached to". I can eat my way through new Pokemon games when they first come out in a few days and never put them down, but whenever I'd put BDSP down I'd have to reset my file again when I picked it back up because I no longer cared about whatever I had going on.
I've been grappling with this for a long time, trying to figure out what it is about this remake that makes it the one Pokemon game someone as easy to please as me couldn't care enough to finish. I'll be fully honest when I say I'll happily take whatever table scraps Game Freak cares to toss me and I'm not proud of that fact lol. I love Gen 4, it's one of my favorite Gens, and I actually like the BDSP artstyle too, I think it's a fun way to keep the spirit of the original games, though it really would have been cool to see Sinnoh at full scale and free to explore in 3D.
But today after another attempted replay I think I figured it out. It's the dumb. Fucking. Experience Share.
Pokemon is a turn based RPG, battling is literally the main gameplay loop and I found that I kept putting the game down because I would get so incredibly bored by the battles. None of them felt necessary and all of them felt way too damn easy. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet had this problem too, I noticed, but what got me to finish those games was I'd never experienced the story before and I wanted to see it finished. But with BDSP I know the story, so why should I finish it if the battles are such a drag? In the original Gen 4 I'd make a point of battling every trainer on every route. I'm very meticulous about my leveling and my Pokemon all need to be within one level of each other, lol. So my incentive for fighting every trainer was to keep my team at a high enough level and also to keep my levels rounded out. But with that EXP share they're always rounded, or god forbid they have different growth rates and I have to keep putting Pokemon away to prevent overleveling which just bothers my OCD more than anything lmao.
It also makes me care so much less about my Pokemon. I cared about my team because I took time to individually raise and train each Pokemon, and if I don't care about my Pokemon then frankly I barely care about the game. In Scarlet/Violet where trainer battles have become entirely optional for the most part I barely did any of them! And in BDSP all I am is annoyed by the trainer battles. There's next to no new content to keep the game interesting and give me a reason to keep playing, and when the main gameplay loop isn't even fun anymore, why would I play at all?
I was worriedly thinking that maybe I'm just getting old and it's hampering my enjoyment of the games (Terrifying thought) but I have just as much fun with ROM hacks that I did with older games. Most notably, there's no broken EXP share. Can't we at least get the option to turn it off? I get trying to find a solution to make grinding less of a miserable drag, because grinding is always the worst part of playing Pokemon, but the broken exp share hasn't made grinding less tedious, it's just made battling as a whole feel hollow and boring.
I still want to beat you some day, BDSP, I really do. Nothing makes me feel sadder than being bored by a franchise I love and I know can do better.
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Happy birthday Kelsey and congrats on the milestone!
I believe the first work of yours I read was Magic Like This when it was published last year, and I absolutely adore it. James is so soft and sweet and I love how you wrote Lily embracing her growing feelings for him.
Then, a few months later, I rediscovered you with A Thrill Divine, Down My Spine (so incredibly fun 🤌) and was pleased to be reminded of Magic Like This (because I'm notoriously bad at keeping track of first I love). And then I went down the rabbit hole of all your other fantastic works and here we are. I am a huge fan. 😁
I love restless waves rise and fall. It might be one of my all-time favorite Jily AUs out there. The backstories and universe you've created have been so fun to explore, and the micros you occasionally write bring me so much joy.
I especially love how you wove thematic imagery throughout. A scene that comes to mind in particular is when James and Lily finally talk at the end of chapter 5 about their feelings...Lily "anchoring herself to her spot," her "bursting through the surface" as she admits her feelings, "a swell of emotions eddying within her." The imagery truly elevates the emotional climax of the story, and you should be proud of what you accomplished.
Now...a couple fan questions if you'd want to share your thoughts on one or both of them.
1. Do you have a way in which you envision James and Lily admitting they are in love with each other? They're clearly very close to that point by the end of the main story.
2. Do you have any insights you'd want to share about what was going through James' mind during my waves meet your shore (forever and evermore) - specifically re: "our ship" and also when Lily confesses what she said to Petunia?
Thank you for all you bring to the Jily community - we are lucky to have you! ❤️ (Also, sorry this became way longer than I anticipated lol)
Okay hello first of all you should know I've reread this like updwards of 20 times because oh my god this is so sweet? This makes me so giddy? Truly truly truly makes me warm and fuzzy, thank you SO much for all your lovely words!
Magic Like This was really the first fluff piece I wrote and I did not expect the reception it got, but I'm so glad people enjoyed it! A Thrill Divine was something that took over my mind that I HAD to get out, and is probably up there on the list of my favorite things...it was my first magical AU and just so much fun. I'm glad you enjoyed them both!
Okay okay okay you have to know how NOT chill I am about your words for restless waves rise and fall. Like. That is my baby. My first born child. My first multichap, my first AU, it's SO close to my heart and to know people love the little self-indulgent cross section of HP and pirates (because yes I also used to write POTC fic) just 💕💕💕💕💕 I promise I have SEVERAL more micros planned out because I have so many Thoughts about them all the time.
I had SO MUCH FUN with the thematic imagery in that fic, playing with the water metaphors, etc (which I know I'd done elsewhere, but felt more fitting here), and I'm glad it enhanced the fic for you and didn't feel too on the nose 😅 Now for your questions...
1. Yes. Yes I DO. I've had that scene envisioned since ending restless waves and I've been MEANING TO WRITE IT. It was always my intent to write it but then my waves meet your shore got way out of hand (after the Lily & Euphemia scene, the characters absolutely took control of the narrative) and I've been writing in that timeline knowing how much I need to go back and write the I Love You scene. I don't want to give too much away but I will say there is a phosphorescent bay involved.
2. AHHHH Yes I am HAPPY to talk about this (but will put under a cut for spoilers and also length because I feel like I will be RAMBLING)...
Follower Milestone Celebration
OKAY so "Our Ship". James is so attuned to Lily in this conversation with his parents and the Dursleys. She's not really engaged in the conversation, she's putting on a brave face but he knows her footing is off—here on land and in the presence of her sister. So, this is absolutely James' way of bolstering her both in the conversation and in their presence, as if reminding her "You have something. You are someone. And they can't take that from you." I think he also realizes that there is no way to hide what they do from the Dursleys, so before it's revealed Lily is his First Mate, he positions her more as an equal than anything else.
And then this poor man his brain is SHORT CIRCUITING during that moment when Lily tells him that she told Petunia they were married. He's got the family ring in his pocket, he's got the proposal all planned out for their next stop, he's got her to meet his parents, and she's just jumping ahead. I think it's definitely really heartening for him to hear that she jumped to that (and him) as a way to support herself/protect herself from her sister, but also while they unDOUBTEDLY love each other, maybe there's this one underlying fear that this woman who's been at sea all these years living an untraditional life doesn't want a traditional marriage and maybe a partnership like they have is good enough for her. (And I think this kind of comes up at the end where she points out a lot of priests probably wouldn't marry them. Maybe it's something she's just resigned herself to). BUT the fact that she reaches for marriage with him as a lifeline just makes his heart swell.
And he is so. happy. It's that kind of moment where everything aligns and it's like oh we're on the same page and also just like....their whole life flashes before his eyes in that instant and he just gets consumed by the need to propose NOW. He's the one that pushes on past the "oh yeah we're married, sorry we didn't tell you," and proceeds to tell her exactly the moment he wanted to propose in a code that only the two of them know. He literally can't stand the fact that she doesn't know the depths of his devotion for her in this minute and wants to give her that reassurance and security that everything she said is what he wants. <33333 OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
AH. okay I'll chill. But thank you SO MUCH for asking about my bbs. <333 You are an absolute GEM.
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My Rogue!Fit submission for @sh4pes-4nd-colors fanzine. Can't wait for it to come out!
I'l admit, it took me longer than I'd like to admit for me to come up with an outfit. But I think it worked out. Equal elements Riddler and Scarecrow, I think. Either way, I'm proud of it. Might revisit the idea one day...
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Most memorable fic scene is definitely Astrid popping Fourchenault's optimism bubble, and showing just that teensy bit of megalomania, assuming that Sharlayan is now on top of the political world. Great look at both characters and a reminder of what kind of person Astrid is.
Teehee thank youse... <3
Honestly, I feel that's an opinion that many Sharlayans might have post EW. I admit I'm taking a risk as we don't know what the status of the New World is like--there is trade and interaction but it's extremely limited (as far as I know) at the moment. Considering that when you look at the latest map of Eitheirys, non aetherical teleport means from Aldenard, Vylbrand, and even Ilsabard look like they would take a while.
(don't @ me about the Limsa ferry. That boat ride took longer than 24 hours. It looks faster in-game but nah. No.)
Not to mention I wouldn't have put it past that lot to have some sort of advance-warning system. Multiples, possibly. And considering they're now sitting on samples of almost every single edible flora, fauna, and animals (not to mention surrounded by 🐠) I'd like to think their idea of handling a seige would consist of herding everyone into the damn volcano to wait it out.
And to top it all off, they're getting a fresh influx of talent via their taking in Garlean refugees. Even just your average Garlean Joe talking to his new Studium buddy about the car he used to drive, Studium buddy might go 'hmm. This isn't my field, but I know a guy!'
Astrid loves her home. She's proud of it. But not gonna lie, she's operating in a bubble of sorts. She's open to Eorzean ideas and innovation but in the end, Sharlayan.
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Can I get a aeon story when ada finds out leon has a teenage daughter and ada just love her already thank for the love and support ❤️❤️❤️
Sure thing! :D
Ada took in a deep breath as she departed the terminal. Her single suitcase following behind while she dragged it. Whatever composure she had during the flight had long diminished as reality began to sink in. She'd be seeing Leon real soon, alongside his daughter. Though Ada had a few months to process the news since Leon contacted her after twelve years, it was heavy to take in.
Leon had retired and settled down. Ada remembered like it was yesterday when he decided to hang up the badge for good and tell the US government they could no longer depend on him to save the day. He even made it clear to Ada herself that the lives they both lived, and their relationship could no longer sustain itself. She had been heartbroken for a time, but managed to move on.
At the end of it all, Ada knew she had to look out for herself. Leon was a wonderful dream, the idea of him a bitter lie she had taken in as a truth. She understood since day one when they met in Raccoon City, that the chemistry that transpired between them both wouldn't last forever. Nevertheless, it didn't make it any less impactful when he cut off all contact.
Never in a million years did Ada believe she would be in this predicament. She could feel her pulse begin to rise as she saw Leon from afar. He looked older, but he still had an air of youthfulness to his features as he smiled towards her. Beside him, was his kiddo. She appeared to be around twelve or thirteen. Ada wasn't sure, but the girl looked an awful lot like him. A smile came upon Ada's face, seeing how excited the girl appeared to be as they approached.
"It's nice to see you again. Thank you so much for being here." Leon said sincerely as he reached out and embraced Ada.
"Always for you." She chuckled and returned the hug, smiling against his shoulder. He still wore the cologne from all those years back. His arms felt heavy and warm. God, she had missed him so much.
"You must be Ada!" The girl spoke up, grabbing both Leon and Ada's attention as the latter nodded.
"That's right, and who might you be?"
"I'm Jade. Dad hasn't stopped ranting about you since he mentioned you'd be staying with us."
"Oh, is that so?" Ada raised a brow at Leon, watching as he averted his gaze and sighed.
"Jade, why don't you take Ada's pack and get it to the car. We'll catch up with you hon."
"Fine," Jade let out a dissappointed sigh, giving a smile as she took hold of the suitcase and journeyed away.
Leon and Ada began to walk after Jade when she was out of earshot. The two of them silent as each of them contemplated what to say next.
"Ada,"
"Leon,"
"You first." Leon laughed.
"I was going to say your daughter is beautiful. You must be proud of her." Ada began as Leon shrugged.
"She's a handful, sometimes a brat, but I love her." Leon smiled for a time, until he frowned upon watching Jade exit through the airports glass doors, heading for the car.
"How are you two holding up since her mother passed?" Ada asked curiously, taking note of how melancholy Leon appeared to become.
"Jade has been having an easier time with it than me I'd argue," Leon admitted. "That or she's good at hiding it. I don't know. Everything happened so fast, I don't think either of us have fully processed it."
Ada was quiet for a time, furrowing her brows as she watched Jade along with Leon. She hesitated, but reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. She was surprised when Leon gently grasped it. He was careful to pull Ada's hand towards his face, planting a chaste kiss to her fingers before letting her go.
"I'm sorry," Leon murmured.
"No, it's fine." Ada reassured as she pulled him into a hug. Unable to help herself. She felt his body tremble against her, doing everything he could to keep up the façade he was alright.
"We're going to find out what happened to your ex. I promise you." Ada whispered.
"I hope so," Leon replied. "I know we will."
If you like my work and feel generous, feel free to donate to my ko-fi account or my cash app account!
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#drabbles#ada wong#leon kennedy#resident evil#resident evil leon#resident evil fandom#re leon#re ada#leon x ada#leon scott kennedy#thanks nonny!#hope you like it
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