#this was really therapudic

[syscourse-confessions]

People just really don't understand that trauma as explained by most psychologist currently just means stimulus or stressors which have caused something. Almost every person alive has experienced something that could traumatize a person but not everyone has disordered reactions because some people are more capable just naturally of handling it than others.

I hate how the debate around fucking origins has made people consistently misconstrue the meaning of trauma, say things are not caused by trauma when they are clearly caused by trauma because they're not disordered and think therefore they have no right to claims of trauma but even if you're not disordered (not a CDD) you're still impacted by that trauma and have a right to use the term traumagenic if you so please.

Additionally we are so fucking sick and tired of seeing people hate on endo systems who are non-disordered (as in not a CDD system, may have other disorders/disabillities) as stepping on the toes of CDD systems when they literally.... do not experience the major part of being a CDD system- that being dissociation and amnesia?? Like if you don't have the disability parts of a CDD and never have then obviously you're not a CDD system because you are not disabled in that way. If we healed and didn't have those issues we wouldn't be disabled in the same way as we are now but would still have the CDD predicated on the fact we had those issues chronically for 19 years.

Endo systems are not the same as having a CDD because a CDD is a dissociative disabillity. The fucking focus on the alters that those with DID and OSDD-1 have is not helpful for recovery except for in specific therapudic settings where information about the alters formation and appearance aids in recovery. The seeing oneself as separate persons is not the fucking disorder- us forgetting we have numerous medications we NEED to take or forgetting work or appointments is the disorder.

.

#syscourse #syscourse confessions

[yellowhearther0]

i've started keeping a journal and honestly its really therapudic writing down what happened during my day while watching other peoples vlogs and stuff. i'm really bad at keeping up with journals but for once it doesnt really feel like a chore so its nice :]

#sagittarius.txt

[nebulousfishgills]

My thoughts on the finale (long post)

Okay, I really just wanna put some thoughts down and I need to do it here. Spoilers and opinions, you can choose to agree or not, but please be respectful

I usually try to have a good attitude about things, pointing out the best in everything.

I'm having a really hard time right now.

That's not to say the episode was bad, it's just...

Well, I feel like I'm watching the Game of Thrones finale again. I just feel so unfulfilled. Then again, my hormones are a little out of wack at the moment (thanks mother nature) so my odd feelings could be because of that. I feel so angry and upset and hyped and... I don't honestly know. I really don't. I feel like I want to throw up, but not in a bad or good way.

I guess I just...

Feel.

I've stayed up every night for every episode because I just adored it so much. Yet I feel like... there should be more. I know we got a second season confirmed, but we don't know when. We don't know what it means for the future of the MCU. We don't know anything.

I guess we should have expected this because Loki was supposed to be this new horizon for the MCU. Doctor Strange 2 needed a plot. Someone said this show was just a big ad for MoM, and I find myself disagreeing with that, but only a little.

I think the best way to describe it is it's like the show suddenly decided it wanted to be something else. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but after episode 3, the tone really shifted.

I'm trying really hard to hold off on my more detailed thoughts, but they just keep creeping in, so I'll just wrap up this... intro? Idk.

I think the TLDR is that I feel disappointed, but I don't really blame anyone. Kate Herron, Mike Waldron, they all did AMAZING jobs. They really deserve the highest of praise for this. Is it my favorite MCU project? Yes. Am I excited for season 2? Absolutely.

But Game of Thrones can still be my favorite show and I can still dislike the ending.

I find writing this out is helping me feel better. Once I sleep it'll probably feel less... hopeless.

Now, next section. My thoughts on key plot points.

We all figured Kang would be introduced. I'm actually very excited to see what they do with him. The actor was just phenomenal and I can't wait to see him later on. Someone call up Erik Voss because he redeemed himself after the whole Mephisto deal

I guess the Multiverse was reborn, but not in the way I was expecting/hoping. I feel like there's a large gap between when the timeline shattered and the final scene with Loki, Mobius, and B-15. What happened? Though, I guess it makes sense. We all wanted a multiverse. We never considered the consequences.

I'm angriest about Mobius losing his memories and not getting his jetski. Like I said, Yelena can get a dog in BW after mentioning it once. But as someone on Reddit pointed out, they had to make sure Marvel would greenlight a second season. It does not mean I can't have a huge cow about it. That's what we get for jinxing it, friends.

I think I understand what Star Wars Sequel haters went through. Getting all these grand (maybe... glorious?) ideas about the ending and what a hopeful message about destiny and identity the series could give us. And the series gave us... none of that. Hell, I was so sure these would be used, and I was bamboozled. I'm sure others saw it coming, but they just looked too good to be fake out shots. My best guess is that they're gonna use this footage in season 2 for a plotline and they stuck it in here to trick us... but maybe that's just me being desperate

It was barely 1 AM here, Marvel. The Miss Minutes jumpscare was NOT COOL. I mean, THIS IS HORRIFYING IN LIGHT AS WELL

I'm really confused about Ravonna now. Is she good or is she bad? Where did she go? And why was it important we see her backstory and not any of the others (say, B-15 or Mobius)?

God, okay, I guess I have to address the elephant in the room now.

The Sylki kiss and then betrayal fight thing.

Let me get one thing very extremely clear before I continue: I do prefer Lokius, but I am FINE with Sylki. I think I've just been desensitized to any ship that ends with -cest because, as I've made clear here and in the past, I adore Game of Thrones and Crimson Peak.

I honestly think my main reservation about it is a flaw within myself that I dared not admit until I saw it staring me in the face: I'm probably a little possessive. I can admit this and I really dislike it about myself. But I think I'm just not a fan of Loki having a love interest in general. What makes Lokius different, I have no clue. Maybe deep down I knew Marvel was too much of a pussy to ever make it canon... then again, I was begging for a last minute kiss or something. My feelings on the matter are complicated.

But the way they handled the kiss in this episode? Gotta say, not too much of a fan. I know some antis like this, but it just felt too... not genuine. Maybe I'm just an idiot who thinks all kissing should have a meaning. A purpose. The Reylo kiss in Rise of Skywalker? Ben just saved Rey's fucking life, I think that warrants a large gesture of affection.

But this?

I think I get bad juju from the kiss, not the fact that they made it Canon. You can disagree or agree any way you want, you can even send nasty anon messages. That's my opinion and I'm choosing to stick to it.

And sending nasty anons won't do squat, I don't give a shit about faceless threats and hate.

Anyways, back to my point

The fight felt like a mutual betrayal, but at the same time it felt like neither really wanted to go through with it. I admit I felt Sylvie was more in the right and that Loki seemed a little too complacent, especially after everything he went through and saw. But like Sylvie, I didn't consider the consequences and now everything is fucked. But I still don't think Loki was right.

I think it boils down to being an impossible choice because no matter what you pick, everyone loses.

I believe that my main gripe with Sylvie and Loki's ideology split is that it feels a little too rushed and/or, dare I say it, out of character. I've agreed with Loki's characterization up until this point (again, you can disagree with me, that's your opinion and you have full right to it), but... man, I don't know. It all feels like an impossible situation.

Then again, I'm not the one in the director's chair. I'm not the team in the writers room. I don't know the first thing about making a project like this. I like taking solace in the fact that Tom had some creative control in the series about the character he loves so much. And, let's be real, he knows Loki the best out of all of us. None of us can hold a candle to that.

We can call ourselves experts, but Tom is the real expert. I trust him more than anyone. If he hated how this was turning out, he probably would have said something.

We just have to trust in the creative process

So, at the end of the day, this series was (and still is, remember, season 2 is on the way) absolutely phenomenal and I think it's Marvel's strongest work in a very long time. They know Loki is a character we all love and adore and I feel like they've done their best in honoring that. Besides, what other character is getting a second season? How awesome is that??

I found writing this out helped me process my thoughts and emotions IMMENSELY. I don't feel as... angry? Hopeless? I don't know. I keep comparing this to the end of Game of Thrones, and I feel like that's doing a disservice to Loki. Game of Thrones' ending was just absolute dog shit and there was no chance to redeem it because it was the last season.

Loki has a second season on the way.

It's not over yet.

Nothing is ever final until the universe forces it.

Kang can be stopped

The Multiverse can roam free

Loki can learn to find true happiness

Sylvie can stop running and fighting

Ravonna can redeem herself

The TVA can burn or reform (whichever you choose)

And yes

Mobius can get a jetski

We know nothing yet of season 2, what it will entail, how it connects to the rest of the Marvel Universe, or even when it will be out. But I know that I will eagerly await it when that day comes. I will once again put on a smile. I will wait hours to watch the new episode the moment it drops. I will be excited for it and enjoy it.

Because, at the end of the day, that's all it's about. Telling a story. And, mother of God, Marvel sure is telling a good one.

Until next time, my friends.

For All Time. Always!

-FishGills

#feel free to come into my ask box and discuss with me! #this was really therapudic #fishgills thoughts #fandom wank #fandom discourse #fandom wars are stupid why can't we all just appreciate the visuals #for real the visual effects department KILLED IT #the true heroes of the MCU #marvel #movies #avengers #loki #disney plus #disney + #loki series #tom hiddleston #loki series spoilers #loki spoilers #loki series season finale #loki finale spoilers #lokius #sylki

[o-wyrmlight]

Anyway here's something I did a few days ago that I kind of like.

[Image ID: A ballpoint pen ink drawing in a sketchbook of a woman with long hair. Her face is pointed toward the left side and her body to the right. Her eyes are closed, and she has a soft smile on her face. Her hair looks to be flowing in the wind behind her, and it's separated into many sections that each have separate strands of hair in them, making the hair look like stained glass. End ID.]

#drawing #art #my art #pen art #character sketch #sketch #idk what i was going for with this but i really like her hair #i havent really been drawing that much lately #i guess from now on im just gonna draw and post whatever i happen to like at the time #rather than worry and stress over whether what im drawing is good enough to post #enjoy the process not the result #this was therapudic to draw

[honeyboyfelix]

It's not even funny how much I love chan :c

#hes just.... sweetest boi #pretty soon hes just gonna be like 'so i saw this thing on twitter-' #he really sees everything im- #i would die for chanathan #watching channies room is very... therapudic? even if he didnt give out advise like he does its just like watching friend #chan is friend shaped

[eelmachine]

Mask pix!!!

#my mask lol! #look im cute and sexy #totaly gonna make a mask when im going through stages of large emotional distress #it was therapudic makeing my feeling sinto a mask that represents them >:) #and now i can make ocs out of all the masks i make n make a whole mini oc world with myvarious masks being the faces of the bastards #really just cos its a fun way to make masks and then endulge in my masks #i wore it when i finnished making it and i felt the emotions it was weird its like imbodying my distress while wearing a mask formed from #distress #it doesnt convey a specific emotion but its made of one #just a part of life i guess lol #i love masks so much theres something really spiritual about wearing a emotion or having a new face repressenting someone else #theres a power there #totaly gonna just keep making them periodicaly #okay bye #i bribed my teacher to not give me an exam so i have a little time for personal projecta again >:) time 4 fun lol #okay bye again

[yesvac]

hOW DO I KNOW WHAT MY SUN SIGN IS

your sun is your main sign! like i am a virgo because i was born in september : ) i highly recommend the co-star app for learning more about your astrological chart if you're interested!

#i really really like this app it's very therapudic for me #i love to listen to girls tell me about astrology bc im a dumbass and dont really understand it #but i love it #and co star is like that but also gives u meaningful advice based on your chart and the planets etc #ask

[kanadeamo]

im trying 2 get better with the composition of my pieces overall (mostly the contrast and working on the directions your view travels naturally when looking at the art) but working on so many backgrounds lately feels nice. organic

#noire.txt #i really dont see the hate for em like theyre not EASY but theyre not the worst #if u pack down a method it can be pretty therapudic to paint scenery actually

[wolfywolfy]

hi! may i request some headcanons about julian's favorite hobbies? either when he was growing up or now

Ooooh I love this idea. I'll see what I can come up with!! (Sorry this got pretty long)

We know when he was younger he was always intrigued by tourists in Nevivon. I think maybe seeing so many people from different walks of life might have inspired him to be interested in acting and theatre. Maybe he became particularly good at telling tourists stories (usually ones that he heard from other tourists a while ago, but he was better at adding suspense and tension and, yknow, twisting the truth a little bit). Sometimes if he grew a crowd, some of the tourists would leave him small tips in the form of various world currency. He would keep it all in a bag tucked under his bed, and sometimes late at night he would look at the coins and study how they were different.

Also, Portia would LOOOOVEEEE to hear his stories while she was growing up. She would beg and beg and beg for him to tell her a new story every night before bed, and while Julian acted like he didn't like it, he actually loved spending the quality time with his sister. She was sharp as a tack even then though, so he had to come up with new stories fast or she would call him out on being "unoriginal".

Once Julian was able to join Mazelinka on her travels, he became the ship's sort of chore/scrub boy. He would handle anything that had to deal with cleaning or helping the crew out, like throwing out the cook's trash, tying down the masts, and most importantly, swabbing the deck. Julian actually enjoyed that last one a lot though, especially at night, because he could just stop and stare at the sea and take it all in. Being in the middle of the ocean always felt so right to him, maybe it was because of all the possibilities. When Mazelinka told him how to read the stars for navigation, she told him about a constellation that sat right above Nevivon -- he would always check on it those nights and think of Pasha.

While he was a battle medic, the only thing keeping him sane was to read. He would read any book he could get his hands on, and once he read them all he would read them again. There were a few nights where the camp was blissfully peaceful, and that was when he would go outside and stare at the stars and wish he was back in the middle of the ocean.

After adopting Brundle, his old dog, he used to try and play fetch with her. She was never very energetic though, and would just give him a look whenever he threw a stick for her. Eventually Julian gave up, but one day he came up with the idea of hiding treats for her around the house. She was a hound dog, after all, and she could sniff practically anything out. Julian loved to find a new place every day to hide a treat and watching Brundle sniff it out, usually within just a few minutes. He would give her the biggest hugs and pets once she found them!!

Julian writes letters a lot, he just hardly ever sends them. Not only is he the only one who can read his terrible handwriting, but it's more therapudic than anything. He's written the most letters to Portia, where he talked about his daily events, how he was feeling, asked her for advice... But he never sent any of them. He kept them all though, scattered around any desk he ever sat at for an extended period of time.

He loves to play card games at the Rowdy Raven. Everybody there cheats, including him, and it keeps everyone on their toes. Sometimes if he's lucky a fight will break out, and he just loves the chaos. Really gets the blood pumping! Don't worry though, he dips out before it gets too awful rowdy... much to his opponents chagrin. Julian is very slippery and somehow knows just how to sneak away when things start to get crazy.

Used to, when he, Nadia, and Asra were closer, Nadia would invite the two of them to afternoon tea. Julian would joke about it at first, but he actually loves the tiny teacups and saucers and figuring out where they came from, telling stories if he had ever been to their place of origin before, and just having a nice casual time with his friends. Plus he thinks tiny sandwiches are adorable.

Obviously he is a theatre nerd. He volunteers every once in a while at the community theater in South End, and auditions whenever he has the spare time. He doesn't ever expect to actually get a part, but whenever he does he gets super excited and motivated to be the best he can be. He loves performing and being loved by the audience, and he's sincerely touched whenever anyone he knows comes by to support him and the rest of the cast. Whenever he is in a show, he'll spend hours each night reading the script and deliberating on how certain lines should be delivered. He'll write notes to ask at the next rehearsal, like "what's my motivation when I'm talking to [xyz character]? Should I say this quietly to myself or should I project it to the audience?" etc etc etc. It's quite charming to see him so passionate.

After the events of the main story are over, he picks up reading again. He'll read practically anything, doesn't matter what. He still has insomnia sometimes and reading helps distract him from himself. He especially loves it if his significant other will brew some hot coffee for them to drink while they just spend time curled up together, his nose buried in a book. He won't admit it, but his favorite genre is those steamy romance books with the painted muscle men on the covers. Does he have reading glasses?? Yes. Does he look adorable in them??? Double yes.

Whenever he's at home, he ends up humming a lot of tunes to himself whenever it's quiet. If he realizes that his significant other is there, he'll break out into song and pull them into it. Sometimes it's old sea shanties he remembers from his time on Mazelinka's ship, sometimes it's folk songs the soldiers used to sing on the battlefield, sometimes it's just some pretty tune he heard however long ago. Around friends he acts as if his singing is terrible to get some laughs, but his voice is actually quite lovely and measured, he just only shares it with the person he cares for the most. If the song is more lively he'll pull them in for a dance around their home, spinning and spinning through each room... It's one of his favorite things.

Eventually he gets into writing and developing his own plays. It turns into a deep passion, where he longs to tell the stories he always told as a child to a greater audience. He feels like to some extent it's his purpose to be a storyteller, and his friends & family agree. He was always good at it, and playwriting is no exception. I'd like to think he becomes rather famous for it

Man absolutely does needlepoint and sometimes it looks awful but he's surprisingly adept at using the needle (he is a doctor / surgeon after all). Would love to teach you how to do it sometime.

#julian devorak #the arcana #the arcana game #arcana #headcanons #headcanon #also: sex #does that count as a hobby?? #does now #anyways i just love the idea of jukian having a BUNCH of hobbies because he just loves to do so many things #sorry this got so long i just had ✨ideas✨ #might add more one day if i can think of them #wolfy speaks

[thecampfirestory]

Patton arrived at cheer practice just a little late that day and was confused to see why no one else was around. When he walked towards the locker rooms to put his studd away he was met face-to-face with another cheerleader, Tammy.

"Hey, Tammy, where is everyone?"

"Oh! There you are. We've been looking for you. You're the best at comforting people!"

That was all the warning he got before he was pulled into the girls' locker room and practically shoved towards the crowded bench where all the other cheerleaders sat.

"What happened?"

"Do you want to tell him or should I?" Karla asked the crying Izzy.

"Can-can you?"

"Of course," she shifted her gaze to Patton who was still standing confused. Did someone hurt her? Was she getting kicked off the team? Did her dog die?!

"Brandon cheated on her with some girl from the Speech & Debate Club."

"That bitch did what?! Oh come here sweetie, can I hug you?" She nodded her head softly. and Patton proceeded to engulf her in one of the Patton Hugs™.

"You know what? I never like that guy anyway. He smelled weird." Izzy laughed softly at the comment and Patton pulled away smiling fully. In truth Patton was furious beyond belief. You don't mess with one of his friends. Especially the cheerleaders. But he didn't let that show. That's not how to treat the situation at the moment.

"After practice why don't we all get ice cream? I've heard it's quite good." Every cheerleader laughed at that and they all agreed.

They spent the whole time comforting Izzy, making inside jokes, and complaining about school. It was very therapudic and Izzy was feeling better.

After 'practice' was over they all gathered their things and prepared to leave for ice cream except Patton.

"Hey, Pat, you coming?"

"Sorry, can you guys wait up a bit. I forgot sonething from my locker." He pulled aside Liz and asked her which club Brandon was in and when she answerd he left in a rush, finally letting his anger boil over. How dare he hurt one of his girls.

When he got to the club room he hid his anger under a façade of happiness and knocked on the door of the classroom.

"Oh, hey Patton," Tyler greeted.

"Hey! Is Brandon there? I have papers to give him."

Brandon came out of the room with an annoyed look on his face.

"What is it, cheer boy?"

"Can I talk to you in a more private place? It's...personal."

"Fine. Whatever."

They went behind a wall to a place that no one really goes and coincidentally has no cameras. Brandon turned to look at Patton with a still annoyed look.

"Now what is it? What's so important that you had to bring me out he-"

He was cut off by a sharp punch to the side of his face.

"What the hell?!"

"Don't mess with my friends."

Patton kicked both of his shins and punch him in the gut before leaving to join the cheerleading squad for some ice cream.

The next day people kept coming up to him asking if he fought Brandon yesterday.

"Of course not! Is he okay?"

Everyone believed him and Brandon wasn't really 'cool' anymore.

(I hope you liked this, Danny. I was the anon that sent this ask in and I really wanted to write it so I hope you don't mind.)

You just dont mess with Patton mdudes you just dont

Shbdbd this is wonderful btw thank you sm fucking super you funky little cheer boy

#submission #campfire fics #campfire!patton

[nerdpokemonheadcanons]

Hi professor Cedar! Nonnie again! I really only have some small updates! 1. Lil' Missie (the shiny dreepy that stowed away!!! Why didn't you say she was shiny though D:) here has been doing really great! Though she's only made moves to make bonds with the Pokemon that can come inside- she seems to really like Luxray! He's fluffy enough for Missie to curl up in his fur! (Of course im still her favorite >:]) 2. It seems Gallah made Duosion an everstone bracer! I have no idea what his thought process was, but maybe Duosion asked? He is a pretty generous dad- 3. In my area it's finally starting to warm up slowly, so Gyarados, Bonsai, and the others are gonna be fine! And 4. I've hired a friend to help me! He goes by Red, and because he's over here I've encouraged him to send some asks to you, so expect to get some from him! Until next time! - Nonnie, finding out that having a baby dragon play in your hair while you work is sort of therapudic-

It sounds like you’ve been having an exciting time! It’s good to hear from you again!

[hearth4days]

LOV Headcanons Nobody Asked For (and an alignment chart)

Wow please ignore me lol

They all have Tik Tok accounts. It started with just Toga, but then she convinced Shigaraki to get one to duet her on something, and eventually they just all ended up with one

Toga mainly makes memes

Shigaraki makes gamer jokes and anti-All Might crap

Dabi does All The Eboy Things

Kurogiri gets recipies like an adult but secretly likes the content his fellow members make

Twice dances to a bunch of Twice songs and duets Toga's memes

Magne (cuz she's alive, fight me) does makeup tutorials when she can

Compress does magic tricks 👌

Spinner actually tries to recruit people

Hawks does literally everything. He's still trying to get Endeavor on the app.

They do Dumb, Petty crimes just to support each other

Magne needs more makeup to feel less dysphoric? Guess we're robbing a Sephora

Oh help, Shigaraki's bored, somebody go steal a game from Walmart or something

Kurogiri hasn't made pasta in a while, Toga, drink somebody's blood and go threaten the Olive Garden's kitchen staff, would you?

Because they're all dumb children

They have game nights where they all place bets on Shigaraki or Spinner

Compress always bets wrong, and he's very upset about it

It doesn't help that Twice finds it funny, and makes sure whoever Compress bet on loses

His method involves kazoos

Dabi does everyone's hair

It's left over from doing Fuyumi's a lot, he just finds it therapudic

Shiggy likes buns

Toga likes hers braided unless she's going out, then she sticks with her pigtail buns

Magne occasionally lets him give her a small braid on the side of her head, but that's it

They all like to mess with Spinner's cosplay

Kurogiri tries to stop them, but when the majority of your children want to hide an outfit, there's really no stopping them

They keep track of how long it's missing

The record is Hawks', who hid it on the roof for a week and a half

It was totally ruined because of rain, and everybody chewed him out for it until he bought Spinner a new one

#lov #league of villains #shigaraki tomura #dabi #touya todoroki #toga himiko #twice #magne #spinner #mr compress #hawks #kurogiri #headcanons #bnha #my hero academia #someone stop me

[lifeonthestrugglebus]

My gratitude project:

I’ve been thinking about this idea for a while,but I have finally had the motivation (executive function) to start my gratitude project. I am writing letters to the people in my life who feel I can specifically accredit with shaping me into the person I am today. I am only 20, so for me that includes 1 teacher, 1 acting teacher, and a couple of immediate family members.

These letters really come from the heart for me. They are a genuine expression of gratitude for the people who shape the parts of me I am proudest of today. For me they were very therapudic to write, and I hope they will bring joy to the recipients.

It’s not about getting credit for being a good person or any of that kind of BS. It’s about bringing others up and bringing yourself up with them. I really recommend you guys give this project a try in whatever way is best for you. Letters (electronic or physical), videos, real conversations, acts of service, whatever feels right to you, express your gratitude for the people who are or have been in your life. It brings nothing but positivity. Whom ever and however it feels true to who you are.

I hope to write and send letters incrementally thoughout my life as I get older. People deserve to know that their actions are impactful. And you deserve to wallow in gratitude at least as much as you walllw in self-pity.

All I ask is that you time this so it doesn’t fall on Thanksgiving because fuck the colonizers.

#gratitude #self care #self love #positivity #healing #bonus points: great way to live amends for anything you’ll never get ghe chance to make right

[funky-lil-cowgirl-yeehaw]

woah shit man this sounds really dumb but i didnt realize you were like,,, actually a cowboy? anyways thoughts on lis nas x being the god of country rn?

bro.. i LOVE LIL NAS X

listen dude.. i go to a ranch in reallllll south west texas that has 3 corrals and over 100 horses. little to say screaming along to old town road while running the barrels? therapudic. lil nas x doesn’t know it but there’s a place where hundreads of people ride horses and shout along to his music and it’s the most carefree experience i’ve ever had. if he ever wants to learn the barrel pattern, he can mosey in over to my blog and i’ll hit him up with some ppl B)

#ask #asks #cowboy ask

[guts4ammo]

So like I use they/them pronouns I haven't super duper been to open to those who I'm not close to about it I've known for years but only people in my school alliance n really close friends knows meaning the sponsor of the club is the only adult who has ever used my right pronouns but I was taking pictures prom pictures at Ikea w some friends one of whom is a trans gal n her mom knows I use they/them pronouns n was using them n it was the most validating thing ever I felt seen and like respected by an adult for the first time in a while I mean it's one thing for the club sponsor who is also a counselor to use your pronouns or a peer but an adult in an environment outside of school just standing there in Ikea I can't describe it,,,it was so amazing n validating its making my eyes water I just feel seen I felt alive I felt like I was recognized for who I was I didn't feel like I was hiding or faking it I felt recognized it was so wonderful n like I'm just so fucking thankful to that mom ik using the right pronouns for someone doesn't seem like much but it really is especially to someone like me who doesn't always get that from adults in their life I feel so happy n alive n like who I am supposed to be being constantly misgendered has always been crushing made it feel like I wasn't real that my being genderqueer wasn't valid n I was actually just my birth gender n me identifying as genderqueer was wrong n maybe I was just confused n being difficult but when my friends mom was using the right pronouns it was like that washed away I knew who I was I knew what I was I felt real I felt seen I knew who I was again I was okay because I always crave validation and approval because waddup anxiety n other stuff I didn't realize how being misgendered by the adults I value in my life was affecting me n I didn't realize how good it felt to be seen by an adult outside of a therapudic environment it was so good I feel like me i know I'm me I know I'm genderqueer that's valid n people see me I'm not going to be stuck in the closet forever I don't have to just suck it up n pretend my dysphoria doesn't exist or try to repress my identity there's people out there who accept me n I can do this I can be me loud n proud

#gwen thoughts #baby gwen posting