#though you could probably guess by the acc

[schwartzed]

ben schwartz eats his last meal

#fav #though you could probably guess by the acc #ben schwartz #youtube #mythical kitchen #josh scherer #`my gifs

[dutchdread]

"things won’t go well between Tifa and Cloud, even without Sephiroth", the most misrepresented quote in the LTD.

If you've spend any time looking into the LTD you'll probably have heard the claim that Nojima said that Cloud and Tifa were incompatible and that their problems have nothing to do with Sephiroth. This belief comes from a misunderstanding of the following quote.

“‘Episode Tifa’ … first off, there’s the premise that things won’t go well between Tifa and Cloud, and that even without Geostigma or Sephiroth this might be the same. I don’t really intend to go on about my views on love or marriage or family (laughs). After ACC, I guess Denzel and Marlene could help them work it out. Maybe things would have gone well with Aerith, but I think there is a great burden from Aerith."

~ Nojima

The meaning they're trying to take from the quote is that when Nojima says "without Sephiroth or Geostigma", that this refers to a scenario where Sephiroth had never existed. The implication being that the issues Tifa and Cloud are going through are internal, not external, and potentially even inherent to their natures. But what the actual "internal" problems they're facing are is never brought up, which is weird since this is rather important. What they want you to think is that the internal problems are either somehow inherent to them as a couple, aka, they're just not a good fit. Or else that the internal problem is "Cloud is in love with Aerith".

But the problem is that they don't provide evidence of any of this, and worse yet, we KNOW what the actual issues are. This quote isn't a mystery, we KNOW exactly what Nojima is referring to. This quote isn't a refutation to the Cloti telling of the story, like all pieces of evidence it supports Cloti perfectly but is simply unintentionally misunderstood or intentionally misrepresented. Before we go into the problems themselves though it's important to take a minute to notice something. Namely that inherent in the argument that "things aren't working out for Tifa and Cloud", is the idea that their relationship is one where 'working things out' is applicable as a concept. Much like getting a divorce is proof of marriage, using the fact that Cloud and Tifas relationship is going through a rough patch as evidence that they're not in a romantic relationship is....misguided. The next part of the quote makes this even more concrete: "I don’t really intend to go on about my views on love or marriage or family". So whenever people bring up Tifa and Clouds relationship troubles as evidence against Tifa and Cloud, please thank them for conceding that they're in a relationship.

So based on that, lets clearly lay out what is being asserted here in its most general form. The claim essentially has two parts. 1: "Cloud and Tifa are in a relationship, but it is troubled"

2: "The reason for these troubles is related to Aerith being the real love interest of the story"

Note that if they can't prove point 2, then this quote hard cements Cloti. The argument stands or falls on Clotis inability to address point 2.

So let's address it.

First lets address the "without Sephiroth or Geostigma" part. The interpretation that this is meant to be read as "if sephiroth was never born" is patently absurd. This is an interview about a very specific point in time in Cloud and Tifas life, which specifically points at a thing that happens in THAT point in time, namely Geostigma. He doesn't say something generic like "if Cloud and Tifa had never ran into hardships in their life they'd still be incompatible", no, he points at two specific things, Sephiroth and Geostigma. Geostigma we know is only a problem during the time of advent children, it's not a disease going back right through to Clouds childhood. Sephiroth is but he's also very specifically attacking Cloud DURING advent children, he returns DURING advent children. Clearly this quote is addressing the current events of Sephiroth and geostigma, aka, the movie, not the more generic impact that Sephiroth has had on Cloud and Tifas life since childhood. If that was meant to be the case he'd have said "sephiroth, jenova, and Shinra" or something else more chronically substantial. And what are the troubles they're going through? Well, luckily we don't have to guess, since that's been reiterated again and again and again and again. It's mentioned in games, it's mentioned in books, and it's mentioned in interviews.

"As long as Cloud blames himself for Aerith’s death, he won’t be able to move on with his life. One of the first ideas we had for Advent Children was to have Cloud overcome and resolve that immense feeling of guilt. For Cloud, no one other than Aerith can solve that problem for him." ~ pg. 58 of Reunion files.

Failing to protect people important to him is his sin… Convincing himself of this, Cloud shuts himself off. What does his meeting with Aerith bring him? ~ Cloud Strife profile 10th AU

Two years after returning to the planet, Aerith still lives on in the hearts of her friends who saved the planet. And in particular to Cloud, as a symbol of his failure to having being unable protect those dear to him, ~ Aerith Gainsborough 10th AU profile.

Cloud feels an incredible sense of guilt for not being able to save her, but sometimes he can still hear her voice in a soft whisper. ~ (Reunion Files, Aerith’s profile)

Zack&Aerith For Cloud, they were people whom he can never forget. The two irreplaceable people, Zack, “who was sent to death because of him”, and Aerith, “who met a tragic fate as he couldn’t protect her” became “the unforgivable sin” in his heart. ~ ACC POST CARD BOOK.

“I’m going to live. I think that’s the only way I can be forgiven. All sorts of things… happened.” ~ Cloud in case of Tifa

"Cloud is scared that the peace he has now might shatter, so he is living on his own." ~ Nomura

Deep down, Cloud knew that he shouldn’t be so hard on himself, but at the same time he couldn’t let go of those feelings of guilt for what happened to Aerith and Zack, or the thought that he could never forgive himself for it. But then his companions made him feel better by telling him to let go. - Takahiro Sakurai (Cloud’s voice actor) pg. 15 reunion files.

"She knew that Cloud was in great pain because he couldn’t protect Aerith. Cloud was trying to overcome that and live on" ~ Case of Tifa.

The happier he is now, The more Cloud is tormented by painful “memories” of the past. ~ Cloud’s 10th AU profile.

The more he realizes how happy he is living with Tifa and the children, the more the fear of losing that and regrets toward the past trouble Cloud… ~ Cloud’s 10th AU profile

"when Cloud contracts Geostigma he disappears. Behind these actions lies feelings of guilt towards his past failure to protect people who were important to him, but through his battle with Kadaj’s gang, the legacy of Jenova, he regains the courage to face reality." ~ FF7 10th Anniversary Ultimania Cloud Strife Profile

"Cloud continued to regret the deaths of his best friend and comrade, who were dear to him, in FFVII. In AC, he says “I want to be forgiven.” ~ Dissidia Cloud’s profile

"Cloud’s heart continued to be tormented by a deep sense of regret and blame towards himself." ~ Cloud’s Dengeki profile

Aerith still lives on in the hearts of her friends who saved the planet. And in particular to Cloud, as a symbol of his failure to having being unable protect those dear to him, she was a major factor in causing him to close himself off." ~ Aerith’s 10th anniversary profile.

“I want to be forgiven. Mm. More than anything.”-Cloud “By who?” ~ Aerith

“Isn’t it time you did the forgiving?” ~ Aerith to Cloud.

“But… I let you die…” ~ Cloud to Aerith

“I never blamed you. Not once, you came for me, that’s all that matter.” ~ Aerith to Cloud

“Are sins ever forgiven…?” ~ Cloud to Vincent

“I’m not fit to help anyone. Not my family. Not my friends. Nobody.” ~ Cloud to Tifa in ACC

You're too weak to save anyone, not even yourself ~ Sephiroth to Cloud in remake

"You've failed again I see" ~ Sephiroth to Cloud in remake

"It's just like, when I failed you" ~ Cloud in remake

Man, they sure love to go on and on about Cloud feeling guilty and wanting to be forgiven, about failing and feeling like he's not strong enough, that he can't protect anyone and that he'll fail again in the future....it's ALMOST as if Cloud has other things on his mind that don't have anything to do with his compatibility with Tifa and/or Aerith, it's ALMOST as if these things are central to his character arc. You could even say that these are troubles that have been with him for all his life and have been exasperated by the death of Zack and Aerith and his resulting fake persona. One could even say, that perhaps, just perhaps, CLOUD WOULD STILL HAVE STUFF TO DEAL WITH EVEN IF GEOSTIGMA AND SEPHIROTH HADN'T SHOWN UP IN ADVENT CHILDREN AND THIS IS NOT A GOD DAMN TEENAGE LOVE DRAMA! For the love of all that is holy, if you've ever used this quote to discredit Tifa and Cloud, STOP. Stop making this sorry excuse of a "point", stop linking this quote and thinking it supports Clerith, it doesn't, this is insanity, you are demented. So based on everything I've said, here Is Nojimas quote again, paraphrased by me to steelman its meaning. "Cloud is going through an internal arc, his problems are not just finding a cure for his disease and stopping the remnants and Sephiroth, his real fight is internal, he has to forgive himself".

The quote has nothing to do with Nojima trying to disprove Cloti, and only the most fanatically misguided shippers would ever think otherwise. Shippers are often accused of making everything about romance and when it comes to Cleriths they are right. The idea that Nojima here is just looking at FFVII as a romance story, rather than him addressing the specific events that happen in ACC and OTWAS is childish to the extreme. Cleriths thinking that this quote does them favors only serves as more proof that they simply don't know what they're talking about, this is a childs interpretation of storytelling and anyone agreeing with it should feel a deep sense of shame concerning their own lack of comprehensive reading skills.

#cloti #ffvii #ffvii remake #cloud strife #tifa lockhart #rant #shipping #aerith gainsborough #adventchildren #ffvii advent children #advent children #ff7

[captianprices40thson]

You know there's nothing left of me, while I can forget everything I wanna be.

Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN! Reader

Pronouns used: You/Yours

Warnings: Death, Angst, Canon-typical violence, bullets, guns, mentions of dead bodies, Ghost being angsty.

First fic on this acc! Lets ago!

(Banner made by me)

“I honestly thought that this whole…situation…would have us in completely different roles. I thought that I would be where you were and you would be where I am. I guess I was wrong.” 

Ghost grumbled, looking over at you. The cool breeze mixed with the night sky made the atmosphere even more peaceful than it was. The grass where you both lay has to bend and flatten to accommodate the people laying there. It was a nice night, it really was. 

“You know, I’ve never met anyone more stupid than you. In a way, that made me both love and hate you.” He continued on, turning his body and looking up at the night sky, the way the stars seemed to twinkle and glisten against the dark night sky made the Brit relax. He’d never admit it, but he liked to watch the stars. Maybe it made him feel like he had a purpose, that all those years of evolution and growth led up to him and he meant something. Perhaps he liked the idea of being the universe looking back on itself. Or maybe he just liked it because you rested under the stars.

“It’s a beautiful night.” Your voice echoed through his head and he sat up, turning to you and giving a sad smile. No one could ever tell when he was smiling under his balaclava, but you always could. You noticed the way his eyes changed and his eyebrows raised…you were good like that.

“Yeah…Yeah, I suppose it is.” He heard himself whisper, shuffling around a bit and facing out on the hill. In that moment, it was just the Ghost and his best friend in the dark night, under the stars and the moon. Ghost’s eyes began to droop and he placed an arm on his knee in order to keep himself upright.

And every time he closed his eyes in order to fight off sleep, he’d get another flashback.

Blink

“That’s the last of them!” You called out, holding your gun by your hip and turning to Ghost, who was right beside you. He turned to face you, giving a nod.

“Bloody hell, you’re good.” *He called, reaching out his hand to give you a fistbump. He had taken out his wave of enemy soldiers a while ago, but didn’t say anything. You deserved to feel like you finished before him, he was nice enough to give you that.

“Let's get back to Price, I’m sure that the rest of our boys are dying to see us. They’re probably getting worried, we haven’t been able to contact them in a hot minute.” You joked, elbowing Ghost playfully and making his way up the forest path in order to get back to the trucks they had ready for you two. Ghost nodded, making his way swiftly behind you, feeling for his radio before remembering it had been broken and you had somehow lost yours.

Blink

“Ghost, everything okay?” Your voice called out, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“All good, just tripped on a branch.” Ghost called out, getting up and continuing to walk through the forest. If they didn’t have a clear path, Ghost was sure you two were going to be lost. Though he reckoned that you would pretend you weren't and lead you both into the enemy’s base by accident.

“The Ghost himself, tripping on a branch? I’m upset I missed that. I’ve always just assumed you feel like a cartoon character.” You chuckled, placing your hand on your gun as you walked through the forest. It was dark, you could never be too careful.

Blink

“You hear that?” He asked, a tight grip on his gun as you both realised you were one hundred percent lost. So much for the trail.

“Might just be your imagination, Lt. I haven’t heard any-” You were cut off by a loud gunshot coming from your left. You turned to the noise and both of you quickly shot at whoever set it off, watching in satisfaction as the person in the bushes fell to the floor with a bullet in his head.

“Hah! It’ll take more than a scare to take down The Ghost and…and…” You trailed off, turning to Ghost and taking in his morbid expression. You took a moment, before the pain hit you. Clutching your chest, you fell to your knees on the floor, with Ghost immediately rushing to your side.

“Oh no…no…no not like this.” He whispered, holding you upright in his arms. He watched you cry in pain as your body reacted to the bullet in your lung. Your breathing was getting shallow and sharper, your eyes fluttering as the pain seemingly got worse.

Blink

“It’s a beautiful night.” You whispered, holding onto him with all your strength. Ghost didn’t remember being in a clearing, but the moon shining down on you both and illuminating your pained face wasn’t making this any easier. He could see the blood…he could see it stain your clothes and your beautiful skin.

“Yeah…Yeah, I suppose it is..” He whispered back, tears falling down his face as he held you. He knew he couldn’t save you and he couldn’t call for help. If he did run and try to find help, he’d either be killed by an enemy or he wouldn’t make it back in time for you to still be breathing.

Blink

“I’m sorry.” He whispered to your now lifeless body in his arms. Watching you take your last breath and your eyes go glossy was killing him. The tears running down his face stained his balaclava and the accessories on top of it. It was eating him up inside, the fact you had died there when he could have done something, anything!

You never even got to see his face.

Blink

“I’m sorry.” He found himself saying, turning to look over at where you rested. Your tombstone was nice, but not as nice as having you around. There were still a few flowers there from your funeral, ones that had lasted longer than others. The daisies Soap had placed had dried out, next to the roses Price had planted. Gaz had smartly placed Zinnia’s, which still looked healthy next to everyone else's. Ghost made a mental note to remove and replace the dead flowers when he visited the next night.

“I wish you knew how much I love you.”

#Ghost x reader #cod #cod ghost #Ghost x gn reader #ghost x male reader #ghost x female reader #cod x reader #angst #i'm not sorry #simon riley x reader

[vinc3nnt]

YOUR BIGGEST FANS! ~ idol!reader

summary: genshin characters being your biggest fan!!

setting: modern au, reader is an idol, few genshin characters as your (self proclaimed) 'biggest fans'!!

(GENDER NEUTRAL READER)

characters: childe, scaramouche, xiao, venti, albedo, itto

warning: definitely ooc.

Probably has a whole other room filled with your merch and posters.. maybe even mini nendoroid figures of you on a shelf. Definitely one of the first ones to ever buy your merch the moment it comes out.

Limited editions? they have an entire collection of it. Though, it's a shame that some of your limited edition items come back. They liked it better when they were one of the first to ever have them.

(in addition to this, I think itto would've stolen one of your cardboard cut-outs during an event.)

-- childe, itto & xiao!!

You know him online. He's one of your big-time fans, and one of the best artists you know! you saw him ever since he started posting lots and lots of fanarts of you!

every time you comment on his posts, it makes him smile. sometimes, you commission him to make personalized art for you!! well.. that's how commissions work. sometimes, he even sends you the printed art if you ask.

-- albedo!!

he.. listens to imagines about you. he'd never admit it, though. It's not obvious, but he's one of your BIGGEST FANS. not even his friends would notice. he hides your merch under his bed, and hangs it up whenever he's alone.

probably a fanfic reader too. he writes his own fanfictions whenever he can't find any that he needs.

despite being your biggest fan, he's definitely one of the meaner fans, though.

(he makes an alt acc to follow all of your socials. he could literally never be exposed.)

-- scaramouche..

this guy makes the fanfics of you. his wide vocabulary reaches to the heart of the readers. he's more of the light-hearted fans, though.

he's well known across your fans, he's the main supplier. without him, your fans would be STARVING I TELL YOU. every time there's an imagine about you, this man would be tagged all around the comments section asking him to make a fanfic dedicated to it.

and guess what, he always does.

-- kazuha & venti!!

yeah, that's the end. I haven't wrote in a long time, so..

aye!! it's me, back from the dead!!! soooo err.. did you miss me??/JJ

all of that aside, I do have a new wattpad fic!!!! (that i probably WONT finish.) it's a male reader, (i need more male readers, pls) here it is!!

very short post, but i didn't really know what to do tbh.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin xiao #xiao #tartaglia #idol reader #arataki itto #kaedehara kazuha #venti x y/n #albedo #genshin albedo #im bad at tagging

[stoopid-turtle]

hello... 😅 uhm, first of all, i truly am sorry in advance for being awkward 😭 but for once i decided not to let my awkwardness keep me from sharing (what i think/hope are) positive thoughts with a stranger on the internet, so here i am.

i'm not around much and legit only made this acc bc like you i'm a late bloomer here and needed as many outlets for my yizhan/wangxian obsession as i could get my greedy hands on, in the big year of 2023... sigh. anyway, as an avid lover of meta/analysis posts since my early fandom days began around 15 (oof 🥲) years ago, finding your acc was such a lovely surprise. i agree with your views a LOT, and really appreciate how eloquent and well-written your posts are! even more so bc there's a lot i still don't know and most of the time the source material is very hard to reach and/or understand due to the language barrier, so having other turtles to rely on to access those, even if filtered by their own biases/opinions, is wonderful. besides, such input coming from a new fan is also comforting and imo refreshing, juxtaposed with that of older fans... it keeps the fandom alive and all that jazz. it's also very brave given how ruthless some folks can be on the internet, and on this corner in particular 😮‍💨 it just felt like reading my own thoughts written by someone else sometimes. i gasped and nodded at your posts soooo many times djskdjdj thank you for that!

(btw you followed me back the other day and i legit fangirled irl bc ??? whatttttt 😅 i still think it was an accident but okay omg djskdjdj AHEM. sorry)

then today i logged in and read your recent posts feeling squeamish about sharing more thoughts and as much as i 100% relate to you saying that kind of attention makes you anxious, i just... idk, i had to let you know i enjoy everything you post, even though adult life has kept me from being able to read it all so far. i understand you stepping back and i respect that decision, i'm not by any means asking you to go against what you know is best for you. at the same time, i can't help but hope you'll still show up every now and then bc your posts will be missed 🥲 i guess the whole motivation behind this is that it just made me sad to think your valuable insights will be something i'm yet again late to, if that makes sense?

djskdjdj again, i'm so sorry for being awkward and weird and dropping all of this on your inbox unprovoked. you don't have to reply (or read this AT ALL omg 😭😭), in fact i'm so embarrassed by this that you'd probably have to reach me through inquiry lmaooo 💀 anyway, have a great life, thank you so much for the great job, bjyxszd etc ❤️💚💛

Oh, don't be anxious! I'm really not a big deal.

Thank you for dropping into my inbox! I love hearing from other turtles, especially relative newbies, like myself! One of my fav parts of coming out of lurking mode is getting to talk to other people. I kinda follow back anybody who follows me, cause it seems polite? I don't know tumblr etiquette. I just follow the tags when I get the chance.

I appreciate the encouragement! I try to avoid dramatics, so I'm sorry for the upset last week. The situation is largely resolved, and I am feeling more okay. I kinda backed off because I wasn't sure of my footing here in fandom as compared to others, especially as I do think I have some takes that fall outside fandom consensus. Again, I don't mean to rock any boats and I'm not invested in convincing anybody that they should have the same opinions as I do. Hearing from turtles who do want me to continue posting gave me some more confidence there.

So, yeah, I expect I'll post some more as I have time. I'd like to post more on dd (cause he's my fav). I'd also like to try to figure out gg cause that dude is so confusing to me. I do have RL stuff going on, and I don't have the time to be super-active outside of occasional posts. But I'd like keep posting stuff. At least until I get all my Yizhan thoughts out.

#asks

[ryuichirou]

Hello!! I'm too shy to send you this out of anon, but I wanted to let you know how much I admire you. I'm a TWST artist myself, and I like certain problematic tropes and pairings. I also want to draw nsfw of my favorite ships, but I'm too afraid of doing it. The anti movement in fandoms is too overwhelming and I'm scared of people going after me. I don't mind kids yelling at me for drawing teens doing what most teens do nowadays (like sex) but everything has escalated so far that people are willing to doxx you and ruin your life over what you ship or draw, and that's what I'm scared of. I know that you probably get nasty messages and people bothering you, but seeing you and Katsu continue creating regardless of what people might say gives me encouragement to post whatever I want. And you seem to be a sunshine of a person, not to mention that your art is amazing. I wish I could post daily as you but sometimes I'm a little bit lazy and I yet need more confidence even if I've been drawing since I was a teen. Anyways, sorry if this got longer, but thank you for contributing amazing art to the TWST fandom. (I'm also into Hetalia and SnK!!! Seeing that you like DenNor made my day haha)

Sending you and Katsu my best regards!

First of all, thank you so much for your support and for your kindness, Anon. And thank you for messaging us at all about this topic, even if anonymously. I think this is a very important thing to talk about, and your message honestly made us kind of emotional. It was a bad idea to read it before going to bed lol

Just like you said, the anti movement is honestly psychotic. I feel like a lot of people who participate in it simply don’t realise the weight of their actions and words, which make sense, because the majority of them are very young; and the ones that are adults are usually quite deranged and dangerous. It’s not rare for their actions to lead to horrible consequences, but I guess this is nothing new. It used to be overbearing conservative parents, now it’s some kids with too much free time. That being said, these days we see more and more people who ignore, criticize or ridicule the antis for their hypocrisy, and this is very nice to see.

We really do get quite a lot of hate, but honestly, we used to get even more stupid comments, even though we haven’t been hated with such passion before. But still, the support we’re getting now is also much more impactful and vocal than what we used to get. There also are people who aren’t even into our ships, but would defend us just because of what this whole thing represents: their own right to do whatever they want when it comes to fiction.

Our personal thing is that we’re just way too spoiled and self-indulgent with stuff that we like. Even if it meant that we’d never get hate, we would be miserable if we had to restrict ourselves for the sake of others; and I know that because we tried. So the worst thing that could happen is that we’ll stop posting, but we’ll still continue creating, because it gives us too much joy to give it up just because someone has no friends at school and wants to impress other antis with their sick (moronic) post when they completely miss the point of our content and ignore our 18+ warnings.

So yeah, I hope you’ll remember what you love about drawing and keep doing whatever you want, even if you don’t post it. But I also think that, if you’re comfortable at any point, you should also post it. You can create an account with no link to your regular acc and your personal info whatsoever and post whatever you want there. You could still get hate, but at least it will be safer and without any high stakes, although I understand you might feel fear because people could recognise your artstyle and connect the dots.

Also preventive bans work wonderfully. If we stumble upon a post that has certain aggressive messages (you know the ones), we simply block everyone who interacted with that post. It takes time, but it’s worth it, I think. Hell, people use “call-out” (because there is nothing to call out, we’ve stated everything plainly ourselves) posts with us to block people.

Also also, ironically, ignoring the hate also kind of helps… I know it’s easy to say, and it’s not a 100% guarantee, but we just think that people are more prone to attacking you if you react to hate in any way. So the best thing is literally to just block and delete it. Oh, and always report it if it gets aggressive – this could do nothing, but it could also bitchslap them out of nowhere lol

Anyways… I am very grateful and glad if we could give you any type of reassurance and comfort with our posts. I hope to see your stuff one day, and I hope there’ll be more people who post whatever they want, so fandoms can become healthier again.

And I’m very happy you like Hetalia and SnK too, especially DenNor! <3

Thank you again from both of us, and I hope you’re having a good day.

#replies

[helloalycia]

body swap [three] // wanda maximoff

summary: when you find yourself spending time with Wanda as Kate, you can't help but want to find out more about how she feels about you.

warning/s: none i don't think??

author's note: part 3 is here! i keep forgetting that this doesn’t update itself so sorry for taking a little longer than usual 😭😂

one / two / four / masterlist / wattpad

After a week of being on bed rest, Kate was finally let out of the infirmary, though she still wasn't able to do much, including training and missions, which annoyed her but was a relief to me since it meant less chances of trouble.

Instead, she helped me come up with a way to tell Clint that I wanted to hold off on the archery training for the rest of the month and instead give hand to hand combat training more work with Natasha. That was easy to set up, since Nat loved me, so 'I' was able to talk her into giving 'Kate' some personal training. Clint and Nat were both okay with it, so that made one thing easier in my life.

"You better make me look good in front of Natasha," Kate was saying after we told Clint the new plan. "She's the Black Widow. I can't be caught slacking."

I chuckled as I peeled my orange in the kitchen. "I know, don't worry. I'm good at making impressions. She's gonna love training you, and when we're back to normal, you're gonna be in Nat's good graces.”

Kate grinned. "Hell yeah."

I rolled my eyes, hiding my smile, and began to eat my orange as she told me about her obsession with Natasha's fighting style. I'd like to say I was listening, but my attention was stolen by Wanda who was stood by the dining table, talking to Bruce about something or the other.

She looked good today, I wouldn't lie, wearing a tight vest top and some joggers that accentuated her curves in all the right places. Her red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, exposing her sharp jaw line and pursed lips as she listened intently to whatever Bruce was blabbing on about, and I found myself biting my lip as I subtly checked her out.

Suddenly, I was slapped on the arm harshly and I jumped at the contact, snapping out of my daze.

"Dude!" Kate exclaimed with a look of disgust. "Quit it!"

When I saw myself looking back at me, I remembered who and where I was and straightened up.

"Shit, sorry, Kate," I said quietly so nobody could hear. "My bad."

She still looked horrified as she stole my orange from hand. "Yeah it's your bad!"

I snuck a final glance at Wanda, feeling a pinch in my chest, before following Kate out of the kitchen.

————————

When I was working out in the gym one day, I didn't expect Wanda to approach me and ask if I wanted to spar with her. And then I remembered she was asking Kate and not me, so I agreed for Kate's sake because she'd been mithering me constantly about building a friendship with Wanda for her.

"You've got powers," I said to Wanda when we got into our positions on the mats. "You're not gonna, like, use them on me, right?"

She chuckled at my expression. "C'mon, Kate, I'm not mean. It's a no powers gym anyway. I was actually hoping you could teach me a thing or two. Clint says you're a martial arts professional. I'm barely average without my powers, so I thought you'd take it easy on me."

"Right..." I licked my lips nervously. "I guess I can do that."

She smiled playfully before making the first move. Thankfully, hand to hand combat was a strength of mine, so mirroring Kate's abilities in this department wasn't difficult. I'd sparred with Wanda many times, so it was easy to anticipate her moves. She was probably the most powerful Avenger of everyone, including the other powered Avengers, but she wasn't wrong about her combat skills needing work, and I managed to land her on her back quite quickly.

"Shoot, sorry," I said when she hit the mat with a thud, feeling bad when her face scrunched with discomfort. "You okay?"

She sighed before smiling reassuringly. "I'm fine. It's part of the job."

I held out my hand for her and she accepted it, letting me pull her up carefully.

"You're seriously good," she said, before quickly adding, "Not to sound so surprised, of course. You wouldn't be here if you weren't! I just– it's a shame we haven't worked together as much. Maybe that should change. Especially with how you handled our last mission together."

I wasn't sure what to say even though I knew this would probably make the real Kate pass out from excitement, so I simply smiled in response.

We continued to spar with one another, keeping each other on our toes and putting up a good fight before deciding to take a quick water break. I spotted myself AKA Kate when we did, so I approached her with my water bottle to see how she was doing. She couldn't exactly work out because of her injury, so I wondered what she wanted.

"Did I just see me and Wanda Maximoff sparring together?" she asked with excitement when I stopped before her.

I smiled with amusement. "Yes, you did. She asked and I knew you'd kill me if I said no."

She squealed, shoving me with enthusiasm, before catching herself and calming down instantly. I raised an eyebrow at her self control, impressed.

"So, how's it going with Wanda and you?" she asked considerately.

"Alright I think... she actually manages to talk to me without glaring which is always nice."

"That's because you're me and not you," she reminded me, bursting my bubble.

"Right," I said with a sigh. "How's things going for you?"

She shrugged, before a smile appeared on her lips. "I was talking to Natasha earlier and we actually had a cool chat about a mission she did not long ago. It was awesome. And she's actually pretty funny when she wants to be."

"Yeah, she tends to reserve her jokes for her friends," I said with a stifled smile, "hence why you've never heard any of them."

Realising what I was insinuating, Kate nudged me in the arm harshly. "Arsehole."

I laughed at her pout. "Okay, I should get back. Remember not to overwork yourself, yeah? Take it easy."

"And remember to make me look cool in front of Wanda," she replied, and I rolled my eyes playfully.

We went our separate ways and I returned to Wanda on the mats. She smiled at me when she spotted me, before her eyes drifted over my shoulder and she grew distracted. Her smile faded as she focused on whatever was behind me, so I stepped in front of her line of sight.

"You alright, Wanda?" I asked, and she snapped back into reality, blinking.

"Huh? Yeah. Sorry. Let's continue."

I quirked a brow, glancing over my shoulder to see Kate talking to someone by the gym doors, and realised she was staring at her, or rather me.

"Why don't you go and say hi?" I encouraged Wanda, meeting her gaze.

She considered it, to my surprise, but shook her head. "No, it's alright."

As she took another sip of her water and put the bottle to the side, I asked, "Are you just going to never speak to her again?"

She frowned slightly at my words. "I don't know, Kate."

It was wrong of me to say, but I couldn't help it. "It looks like you miss her."

Her jaw tensed, but she didn't snap like I thought she would. "It doesn't matter. Forget that. Let's just train, yeah?"

I hoped that meant she did because I missed her, too. So much. And all I wanted to do was tell her that.

————————

Just when I thought I could keep my distance from Wanda like I should have been doing since the start, I was invited to go out for food and bowling with her and Clint as Kate. I tried to decline, but Clint was insistent that I deserved the break and needed to take time to unwind as well as work, so I had no choice but to attend.

Kate was jealous that she couldn't actually go, which was why she forced me to be enthusiastic when I went, so for her, I made the effort to enjoy being there like she would have.

It started off fun, to my surprise. I saw a different side to Clint, since he was closer with Kate than he was to me, and I also saw a side of Wanda that she hadn't showed me personally since we broke up. Pretending to be Kate made it easier to get lost in the moment and enjoy my time with the other two Avengers.

And just like that, my fun was cut to a halt when Clint got a call during our third bowling match.

"I'm sorry, guys, but I'm gonna have to miss the rest of this get-together," he said once his call ended. "Family emergency."

My eyes widened at the thought of being left alone with Wanda, but Clint didn't notice as Wanda was looking to him with concern.

"Is everything okay? Is it serious?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Oh, yeah, nothing too serious, but I gotta help out Laura," he said with a reassuring smile, before looking to me, too. "Have fun, Kate, yeah? You deserve it."

I nodded slowly, watching him wave goodbye to us both before leaving. Wanda looked to me with a smile, oblivious to the panic I was feeling.

"Looks like it's just us," she said. "How about we finish up this game then get some food? I'm starving."

I smiled nervously. "Sounds good to me."

Her smile widened and she moved past me to have her go since it was her turn next. I closed my eyes briefly, praying to God that this would go smoothly, before turning around to pretend to be Kate.

To my surprise, it didn't go terribly, and bowling with her wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. She was making light conversation about some stuff from work, asking about how I was doing with training, and I could pretend that I wasn't secretly pining over her for a moment.

"You know, I thought you were supposed to be good at bowling," she said after I had another go, and she looked like she was trying not to laugh. "Hand eye coordination and all that?"

"Hey! I'm actually trying here!" I defended with an amused smile.

She chuckled and went to have her go, getting a strike instantly. I rolled my eyes playfully when she walked past me with a proud smile, before taking my go. I was never good at bowling and I didn't find it enjoyable because of that reason, but I felt the need to impress Wanda. So, I took a deep breath and swung the ball, only to scrunch my face up when it went into the lane next to us and knocked over their pins.

"Shit," I mumbled, before looking to the group beside us. "Sorry! Sorry!"

They waved it off, but my face was heating up as I went back to grab another ball. Wanda was laughing at my dismay, eyes squinted and smile wide. She looked stunning, but I had to remind myself who I was right now.

"That was an accident," I told her knowingly, before going in for another go.

Thankfully I didn't miss this time, and knocked my pins down in both goes before returning to Wanda.

"You're almost as bad as Y/N," she commented with a nostalgic smile. "Probably just as bad."

I smiled nervously. "Yeah, it's amazing how friends can pass on traits, huh?"

She didn't seem to pick up on my words as she grabbed a ball. "Come on, I'll show you how it's done."

Not having a choice, I joined her side and expected to just be watching her demonstrate how to make a good throw, but she placed the ball in my hands instead. I forgot how to breathe when her hands wrapped around mine and she took a step behind me. It was all friendly in her eyes, of course, but I was freaking out, naturally.

"Okay, you're gonna pull it back like this," she narrated as she moved the ball back with me, "and then throw it like this!"

Together, we threw the ball and she stepped back to see if I'd made the throw successfully. I was barely paying attention as I was too busy hoping she couldn't hear my racing heartbeat or see how nervous she made me. She smelt so good.

Fuck, no. I was Kate, not me. I couldn't think that.

...but God, she did.

"Hey, you got a strike, Kate!" she exclaimed joyfully, patting me on the back. "See? It's not so hard."

It was hard to avoid her contagious happiness, and I was soon smiling at her sparkling eyes and matching smile. So freakin' beautiful.

We finished our game shortly after that before grabbing some food at the diner in the bowling alley. As we were tucking into our burgers, Wanda sighed contently and looked to me with a smile.

"This has been really fun," she said sweetly. "Just what I needed lately."

I quirked a brow. "What d'you mean?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I just meant it's been nice to hang out with you outside of work. First time for everything, right?"

Noticing she definitely had something more to say, I set my burger down and gave her a knowing look. "Wanda, c'mon. You can talk to me."

She distracted herself with her food, thinking momentarily, before sighing and meeting my gaze. "It's been hard lately. Without Y/N."

"Right..."

"You were right when you said I missed her," she admitted, referring to our brief conversation during training the other day. "I do."

My heart began to ache when she said that; I didn't think she cared anymore.

"I'm sorry," I said softly.

She shook her head, eyes falling to her burger. "It's not your fault. It's just annoying. I'm trying to move on, but she just keeps haunting me at the back of my mind."

I frowned, seeing the conflicted expression on her face and only imagining how she must be feeling. Without thinking, I rested a hand on hers on the table and squeezed it gently.

"I'm here if you wanna talk about it," I told her, hating that she was conflicted because of me.

She smiled a little, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks, Kate, but you were Y/N's friend first."

"And I'm your teammate, too," I reminded her. "I'm here for you just as much as I am with her."

She rested her other hand on mine, squeezing it in response, before letting go. I lowered my hand and watched as she nodded gratefully.

"I'll get over it eventually," she said, and I wondered if she was trying to convince herself or me. "Right now, everything is just reminding me of Y/N, so it's hard."

"Like bowling."

"Yeah..."

I sighed regretfully. "Maybe bowling was the wrong choice of plans for tonight. Still too soon to be reminded of your first date."

"Exactly," she agreed sadly, before blinking and looking up. "Wait, how d'you know that bowling was our first date?"

Fuck.

"Oh, er," I racked my brain for an excuse, "Y/N told me once. Said she took you to a bowling alley."

She hummed, nodding in confirmation, and I breathed out with relief at my quick thinking. I couldn't let that happen again or she'd definitely suspect something.

"You know, Y/N still talks about you," I said. "Like with the date for example. And basically anytime it's relevant."

She glanced up at me with what I think was hopefulness. "Really?"

"Yeah," I said, before a smile crept on my lips. "She tries to pretend she doesn't like you, too."

Wanda gave me a disapproving look, though a smile ghosted her lips. "Very funny."

My smile widened. "I'm just being honest, Wanda. Calling it how I see it."

She rolled her eyes, but her smile became more prominent, and I'd never seen such a perfect sight.

————————

I'd like to think that as time went on, Kate and I became pros at being one another, and that nobody suspected a thing, but that was far from the truth.

Anytime Kate would do something out of the ordinary as me, I'd get given a look that was something along the lines of did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

And I wasn't any better to be honest. The amount of times I failed to react in a Kate-timely fashion to certain things that happened, such as being allowed to help Tony out with one of his new suits or sitting in on one of Steve's meetings with a charity who we sponsored, was too common. Those weren't out-of-the-ordinary situations for me, but Kate Bishop was still new to the team, and pretending to be excited about said stuff was painfully difficult.

The only person who thought to question it however, was Wanda. And that was probably only because she knew me too well and definitely noticed a difference in how I was acting compared to usual, or cared enough to say something.

I was heading out with a book and my water bottle when Wanda found me in the hallway, falling into step with me.

"Oh, hey, Wanda, what's up?" I asked, before taking a sip of my water.

"Hey... this is random, but do you think Y/N is acting strange lately?"

I almost choked on my water as I widened my eyes. "Erm, what? What do you mean?"

She glanced at me with a distracted gaze. "I don't know, she's just being different, don't you think?"

I tried to remain calm as I answered, "How do you mean?"

Playing with the ends of her hair as we walked, she said, "Well, for one, she doesn't usually wake up so early in the mornings. She's not a morning person at all. Yet lately, she's always the first one in the gym. And I don't even know why because she can't work out properly because of her shoulder."

I cursed out Kate in my mind, wondering why she was ever a morning person in the first place. And also, why did she still insist on doing some sort of exercise when she was injured? Kiss up.

"Maybe she just wants to change things up," I suggested, hoping it was reasonable enough for Wanda to agree with, but she shook her head with uncertainty.

Her eyes showed her determination to find out the truth as she looked to me. "I dated the girl for four and a half years, Kate. She would never just suddenly decide to be a morning person."

I broke our eye contact for fear she could read right through my lies, and cleared my throat. "It's not a big deal, Wanda. I reckon you're just overthinking it."

Ah, yes, the good old gaslighting technique. How polite.

"It's just strange," she said, chewing on her lip. "Like the other day, I overheard her talking to Sam about some trend on TikTok or whatever the app is. I didn't even know Y/N knew what TikTok was."

I laughed nervously whilst mentally killing Kate in my head. "She doesn't live under a rock, Wanda, give her some credit. And I've definitely shown her TikToks in the past."

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Maybe she's just different now..."

I glanced at her, seeing the frown on her lips, and wanted nothing more than to kiss it off her. "You could talk to her. She might not be as different as you think."

Wanda shook her head slightly. "I don't know."

"You don't have to, but she might just want to talk to you, too," I said carefully, trying to read her expression, but she was doing pretty good at hiding what she was thinking.

"I should go," she finally said, avoiding answering, before giving me a small smile. "Catch you later, Kate."

"See you later," I said halfheartedly, eyes following her as she turned to leave.

————————

My words to Wanda must have made some difference, more than I realised, because Kate approached me barely two days later with a suspicious grin.

"What is it?" I asked, hoping she hadn't done something that would get us in trouble.

She nudged me eagerly. "Guess."

I rolled my eyes. "Kate." She was adamant that I guessed, so I sighed dramatically and said, "Okay, did you book a holiday?" She shook her head. "Did you steal Sam's falcon wings?" Clearly not, since she shook her head again, so I said, "Did you realise how annoying you are and decide to leave me alone?"

"You're very bitter to say that your ex-girlfriend just talked to you for the first time properly."

It took a second for me to realise what she said, but when I did, I looked to her and realised why she smiling suspiciously.

"Wait, what? Wanda spoke to me? When? Where? Why? What did she say?!"

Kate laughed at my eagerness. "I feel bad now. It wasn't actually a conversation. She just said good morning to me when she made her coffee."

My smile grew wide at the thought. "She did? That was it?"

"That was it."

I rested my hands on her arm, pleading with my eyes. "And what did you say?"

Kate quirked a brow with amusement. "I said it back?"

I grinned. "You said it back."

"She smiled, too, if that makes a difference."

"She smiled, too," I repeated with a lovesick grin.

Kate chuckled. "I thought you'd wanna know. This means she's talking to you again, right? Congrats, I guess."

I hugged Kate tightly. "Thanks, Kate. This is huge."

"Anytime, idiot."

Wanda was talking to me again, and that was the first step.

————————

It was hard to think about anything other than Wanda as the month went on. Now that I knew that she wasn't entirely ignoring my existence anymore, all I wanted to do was make the same effort back, and it was infuriating that I couldn't because Kate was in my body.

I wanted to tell Kate to try and show more interest in Wanda, but she was as awkward as they came and I couldn't blame her since I was in love with Wanda and she was in awe of her – two very different things. So, I just had to make do as was, which meant treating her as Kate would and trying very hard not to go beyond that threshold. It was hard though – I missed her so much.

The communal area was rarely used unless several of us finished a mission at the same time, so the TV was always free and I preferred the couch over my bed. Planning to spend the evening there, I grabbed some snacks from Kate's snack drawer and went over. Only, to my surprise and initial disappointment, somebody was already there.

Before I could turn and leave, the person poked their head around the TV at the sound of me coming in, and I realised it was Wanda.

"Oh, hey, Kate," she said when she saw me, smiling.

"Hey, Wanda," I said with a small smile. "Sorry, didn't mean to disturb."

"You didn't," she assured me, before nodding to my hands. "Are those snacks I see?" I looked down, remembering I was holding food, and looked up to see her trying not to laugh. "You were planning on sharing, right?"

"I guess I am," I said playfully with a sigh, and her smile widened as she moved over on the couch to make room for me. "Chocolate or gummy worms?"

"Surprise me."

I jumped on the couch beside her and gave her the chocolate before digging into the packet of gummy worms.

"So, what are you watching?" I asked, glancing at the TV and vaguely recognising the show from something she'd watched before.

"Bewitched," she said between bites of chocolate. "I can change it though if you want to watch something else."

I shook my head, leaning on the armrest and trying to make out the episode. "No, it's fine... this is the one where that guy is a frog, right? He's trying to get Tabatha to turn him back into a frog?"

It was ringing a bell as the episode played on, since it was something Wanda had forced me to binge watch with her several times when we were together. She always loved the old American sitcoms and so I had to love them, too, but I didn't mind because it was adorable watching her explain the plot.

"You've seen this before?" Wanda asked, raising an eyebrow with disbelief. "I would have thought this was before your time. Like waaaaaaay before your time."

Suddenly feeling nervous under her stare, I bought myself some time by chewing on my gummy worm before saying, "My grandmother used to watch this show when I visited her as a kid. I guess I recognised it from that."

"Huh." She accepted it and nodded, looking back to the screen. "Well, I used to watch this all the time as a kid, too. And then it just stuck with me. Y/N was nice enough to buy me the box set when she caught me watching it on TV, back when I first joined the Avengers."

I smiled to myself at the memory, remembering the exact moment she started to let me in when she first joined. It was the only way I could get her to notice me, and then I learned she was just homesick and the shows helped.

"Hopefully you settled in better than I did," Wanda continued jokingly, and I realised she was talking about Kate, not me.

"Yeah, everyone was super nice when I came here," I said, clearing my throat. "Clint is the perfect mentor. A dream, really."

She hummed in agreement, before tilting her head to study me. "So, you're already from New York, right? That's what I heard." I nodded, and she continued, "So this mustn't have been much of a difference for you. Moving to the compound."

"Not really, except for the living with the Avengers bit."

She smiled at my joke. "So, didn't you have friends or anyone you left back home? Family? Girlfriend?"

I tried to use everything I knew about Kate to answer, hoping it sounded genuine. "There was an issue with my mum and she's now in prison, and my father died when I was a kid. Back in the Battle of New York..."

"I'm sorry," Wanda said with a sympathetic frown. "I know how hard that is. Losing family."

I nodded awkwardly, unable to meet her gaze. "It's okay... but yeah. Nobody else. I still keep in touch with some friends from university, but I've got friends here, haven't I? And then, no girlfriends or anything."

"That's surprising," she said with amusement, and I glanced up to see she was hiding a smile. "Y/N always said you were a flirt. Or tried to be anyway."

I refrained from laughing because that was exactly what I'd told Wanda when Kate had first joined us. It was a mere observation, since Kate thought she was so cool and could get any girl she wanted, when that was in fact the opposite of the truth. I knew because that was how I was. But at least I knew it.

"Yeah, she's not wrong," I said, deciding to give Kate a little bit of a reality check. "Every time I think I'm getting somewhere with a girl, it goes down the drain because I'm apparently not as smooth as I think I am."

Wanda laughed quietly, shaking her head. "Hey, it's okay, you're still young, you've got plenty of time to perfect the flirting. If it's any consolation, I'm not too good in that department either."

"You don't have to be though," I said without thinking. "I mean, look at you."

Even in the dimly lit room, I made out the pink dusting her cheeks and thought she looked adorable when she didn't know how to accept compliments.

"That's sweet of you to say," she said with a bashful smile.

"Girls look at you once and that's it," I continued lightheartedly, but I meant every word. "You give them one glance and they're hooked."

And it wasn't a lie, because that's exactly what she did to me.

"Maybe you're not so bad at flirting as you think," she said jokingly, "but try keeping it professional, yeah?"

I bit my lip to contain my smile. Wanda was so easily flustered, it was adorable.

"Y/N isn't very good at flirting either," I said, pushing it just a little but wanting to know more.

"No, she's not," she agreed with a sigh, smile fading into a grimace.

"So, how did she land someone like you?" I asked, watching her curiously.

She looked down at the chocolate in her hand, lips pursed as she thought of her response.

"We were friends first," she said softly, a small nostalgic smile appearing on her lips. "She didn't need to flirt. She just... had to be herself."

One of life's biggest mysteries – how I managed to land someone like Wanda Maximoff. It never made sense to me, even when we were together, because she was everything I wasn't, and I wasn't as smooth at picking up girls like others could be. Her liking me back was just me getting lucky.

"And that was enough?" I asked, unable to look away.

She nodded slowly. "It was. She was thoughtful and considerate, and she made me feel at home when I definitely didn't. She was there for me, always, even when I didn't know I needed her..." A soft sigh escaped her lips, her smile twitching. "And then I just started to fall for her. Everything about her. Her smile, her terrible jokes, her cute attempt at learning Sokovian for me."

My heart ached as she spoke of me with a bittersweet tone, especially because I was sure she didn't like those things about me anymore.

"That sounds sweet," I said weakly.

"Yeah, it does, doesn't it?" she said sadly, lips curving into a frown.

I should have left it there, ended the conversation or changed the topic, but I couldn't help it. I needed to know if there was ever a second chance on the cards.

"Would you ever consider giving it another go?" I asked hesitantly. "You were together for a long time. It seems a shame to throw all of that away."

She glanced at me with suspicion. "You're very pro-relationship."

I straightened up in my seat. "I, er–"

"Is Y/N making you talk to me?" she asked. "Is that what this is?"

I shook my head a little too quickly. "No, Wanda! That's not– I'm just looking out for my friend."

She hummed, lips pressed together and eyes studying me curiously before looking away with defeat.

"I just thought that you both seem miserable without one another," I said, careful not to go too far. "Four and a half years is a long time."

"Well, unfortunately, not all relationships are meant to last," she said bitterly, before crossing her legs and leaning back into the couch.

"But you both clearly still care about each other," I pointed out.

Her eyes found mine questioningly. "Did Y/N say that?"

"Not explicitly," I said, and regretted it because she sighed and looked away again, "but it's very obvious, Wanda."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. It's too late for all of that."

"She's always telling me how she should have acted better," I said, unable to stop myself from pouring out my heart to her, because I didn't want to lose my chance, not when she was so close to me. "How she should have been more mature and listened to you more."

Wanda chuckled bitterly. "Funny how she realises that now."

"It's better late than never," I said, trying to hide the desperation in my voice.

"It doesn't matter anymore," she snapped, before closing her eyes and exhaling slowly. Glancing at me apologetically, she said in a softer tone, "It's best not to get in the middle of it, Kate."

She looked fed up, eyes tired and lips stuck in a permanent frown with the mention of me. When she looked away, I was beginning to lose the little hope I had left of making things right, and I hated myself for it.

"She really messed up, didn't she?" I muttered.

Wanda sighed quietly. "It doesn't matter."

But it did, and we both knew it.

Where had it all gone wrong between us? At what point had I fucked it all up and let my own stubbornness be our demise?

"You've been talking to her lately," I said, looking down at my gummy worms, losing my appetite. "That's nice to see."

"I'm just trying to move forward, Kate," she said tiredly. "I can't exactly avoid her forever."

I hoped that wasn't the only reason she'd been making more of an effort with me. And I wished that I could be back in my own body already, so I could make even more of an effort in return.

I couldn't bear the thought of losing her for good.

#marvel #marvel imagine #mcu #elizabeth olsen #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #mcu imagine #scarlet witch x you #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch imagine #scarlet witch

[1loer]

@polaroid-steam-room : 'Something with Imposter and Nagito, maybe talking about identity stuff? At least I’d feel like it’d make for a unique and kinda comforting convo between the two! Ok this ended up way less comforting than you probably wanted I'm sorry AHGUAEGHUEG m(__)m. I do want to explore that type of conversation with them post canon, buuuut i want to save it for a later date hehe :3c but! I still thought they could've had an interesting dynamic in game, especially in the first chapter. I realised its kind of weird Imposter didn't see through Komaeda's ruse, all things considered, so explored that instead. I hope it still sort of hits what u wanted!!!!!!!! thank u for suggesting these two. Getting into Imposter's head and thinking about them a bit more seriously was acc rlly fun!! <3 I hope u like it <3

There was comfort in control. 

Maybe that comfort was the reason they chose to wear someone as commanding and imperious as the Ultimate Affluent Progeny. 

Komaeda Nagito was a nebulous personality. Most of the others had been easy to read from the second they said ‘hi’. Even someone like Hinata Hajime, who had forgotten so much more about himself than the rest of them had, was an open and well-worn book to them. They could’ve perfected his presentation in a second, even without knowledge on what his talent was. But Komaeda had been a bit more difficult than that. He was elusive, keeping to himself if he wasn’t keeping to Hinata’s side. 

Normally, unless completely necessary, they wouldn’t bother themselves with trying to untangle a knot as tightly wound as someone like Komaeda. But, with this whole ridiculous mess of a so-called ‘killing game’ they’d been unwillingly entered into…Well, you need a knot to tie a noose. 

Komaeda stood off to the side, leaning against a wall, seemingly content to watch the party pass him by. Every now and again, they’d catch his eye twitch towards a table at the back of the room, next to where he stood. It seemed habitual; protective. The way someone would keep watch of their belongings they left at their table at a cafe when they went up to the bar to order. 

Again, perhaps in any other situation, they wouldn’t find reason to worry over something so unobtrusive. But from what they could see, there was no reason Komaeda should be so pre-occupied with an empty table. In a situation like this, quirks like that were the most important to keep on top of. 

“Komaeda, have you eaten?”

Komaeda acted surprised, even though there was no way he couldn’t have noticed their approach. Muggy eyes wide and blinking clear as they quickly snatched away from that empty table once more.  

“Oh, hello Togami!” He smiled gently, and tittered a laugh, “Of course I’ve eaten! How could I pass up the opportunity to try food made for us by an Ultimate like Hanamura?” 

They held out a plate towards Komaeda, so filled with food it was a strain to hold with just one hand, “Have another plate, you need it.” 

If his back wasn’t already backed against a wall, they were sure Komaeda would’ve taken a step back, “I’m okay, really!” he pleaded, hands up in polite rejection. 

“It wasn’t a request.” 

They shoved the plate into Komaeda’s chest, and on instinct he grabbed it. He regarded it tentatively, an awkwardly stiff tilt in his shoulders. 

“Ah, Koizumi was right. You really are forceful.” He laughed lightly, relaxing a little. Togami wouldn’t react to such a pointless statement, so neither did they. Then, with a tilt of his head, the brightness that on the surface seemed characteristic to Komaeda returned, “But I guess it is to be expected of such a capable leader.” 

But Komaeda’s brightness was just that. Surface level. He was good at it. Obviously very practised at it. He wasn’t surprised that no one else seemed to have noticed. Even Togami, they were certain, wouldn’t have noticed. Togami would find him distasteful, annoying, and someone so completely not worth his time that even finding these two words to describe him would be more effort than Togami would believe he deserved. 

In any other circumstance, he would’ve stuck to his guns with this characterisation. If he let his own beliefs and intuition bleed into his act, it would reveal the act for what it was. If there was one thing, they could confidently say about themselves, it was that they were good at what they did. The fact that even Hope’s Peak had figured them out to bestow them the title ‘Ultimate Imposter’ was shocking. But he supposed that only spoke to the capabilities of an academy like Hope’s Peak. But this was simply something he just couldn’t ignore. 

They would be the first to admit that they had been out of character. If faced with this same situation, they were certain that the real Togami’s actions would have been exactly opposite of their own. Togami was ruthless, selfish, cold, and above all else, a horrible loser and an even worse winner. To someone like Togami, the only thing that really mattered as much as his family’s name was winning. Togami’s, historically, didn’t lose. The Togami heir would not be the end of that streak. No, the real Togami in this situation would be the exact person Monokuma would want in his game, because Togami would play to win, and would not take even a second to care for the people in the game with him. 

But they just couldn’t sit comfortably in that role. Despite what he knew of Togami, he couldn’t in good faith look these people in their eyes, people that were supposed to be his classmates, all just as confused and lost and scared as they were and tell them that he would throw them all under the bus if it meant getting off this island and getting back to his work. 

Luckily for them, for what they and the rest of their class could remember, none of them knew Togami Byakuya. So, none of them would question their motives for trying so hard to keep all of them safe. After all, when all was said and done, could they really claim the title Ultimate Imposter if they couldn’t even perform a personality out of character in a convincing way? 

“Fat is important to keep you alive. In stressful situations like this, eating well is especially important. I don’t want you dying for a reason as pathetic as malnutrition, especially not while I am your leader.” 

Komaeda chuckled amicably in place of a response, and accepted the plate completely, giving it another nervous once over. They treated him much the same, their eyes scanning him from the toe of his scuffed brown leather shoes (subtly expensive, understated and unnoticeable if you didn’t know what you were looking at) to the tip of the unruly, curly white mop of his hair (unnatural and unhealthy. All the more so when you caught sight of the pale, blushing, strawberry blonde that lingered in the crook of his neck). 

“Plus,” They started, folding their arms. Komaeda stared at him innocently, “It must take up a lot of energy, keeping up this facade you’re performing.” 

Komaeda tripped; Togami smirked. 

He recovered quickly, in the blink of an eye, smiling awkwardly and titling his head with a disarming curiosity, but they didn’t miss the stiffness that returned in his shoulders, 

“Ah, pardon?” 

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” Togami replied, cool and just slightly irritated. Then, that harsh, blunt cover fell back, and they looked away, “It's not an issue. I understand. More than you’d know.” 

Surprisingly, Komaeda actually seemed to back down a little, his guard dropping an inch, his smile turning wiry, “...I’m not so sure about that.” 

Despite themselves, they felt themself responding much the same. 

The more they thought about it, the more his facade made sense. They thought back to the confident way he tried to speak, the way he shakingly grabbed at the attention of his peers, his grip as perfect and practised as a baby grabbing for its favourite toy. That is to say, it was cack-handed and clumsy, and landed poorly every single time. They thought of how easily he sunk back from Saionji’s remarks, how he accepted them without protest. In those moments, he seemed much more comfortable than any other time they’d seen him. Then there was his attachment to Hinata, someone who, through no fault of his own, was the only true outcast amongst their group. With no idea of what his talent was, Hinata was, unfortunately, a bit lost amongst the rest of them. Who, with nothing else to hold onto, at least had the confidence of knowing who they were, what their role was. Komaeda was optimistic, friendly, and agreeable, even when he probably really shouldn’t have been, and seemed to care very deeply about how he came off to everyone around him. The effort he put in to clean this room for this party at such short notice was evidence enough of that. It was the only time they had seen him nearly brag about something he’d done or speak even close to positively about himself. He was meek and quiet, and overall, just seemed…

Lonely. 

Well, that was something they certainly could understand. 

“There is comfort in hiding yourself.” They replied, their eyes scanning across the room, checking in on the people happily enjoying the party around them. Oowari and Mioda were being a bit too rowdy and getting shouted at for it by Saionji (Hinata watched them from the sides, laughing a little at what they were doing, but not too much. Maybe he’d have to talk to him about all this as well), “The person I present myself as is never usually the person I really am inside, if I was completely truthful.” Their eyes spared a passing glance at Komaeda. The intense, unblinking stare he levelled them with was unsettling. Togami didn’t feel it, and held it back, just as insistent, “It’s a useful strategy for business. It keeps you separated from your work, makes sure you don’t take anything too personally so you can focus on one, clear goal. The total and complete domination of the Togami Industry, above all others.” 

Komaeda blinked widely, his heavy stare not really seeing Togami, before it drifted off to the side, “I suppose.” Then, he was back, bright and chipper, “I can see why the Togami company has historically done so well. You’re going to do amazing, once you inherit it.” 

“I know that well enough.” He shot back dismissively, then they relented, softening once more, “But…It’s not easy. The price you pay for that safety is…You can never truly get close to someone.” 

They hoped the weight of their stare matched the weight of their words, really made what they were trying to say, as Togami may say it, sink in. 

“...What a lonely life.” Komaeda said wistfully. For a moment, his bright eyes turned cloudy, his smile dropped. Like white noise, it was only when it was gone that they really realised how present it usually was. Then, once it returned, it stood out more than it ever had.  

Komaeda understood. They wished they could feel better about that fact. They felt their heart ache, just a little. Even if they had guessed as much, it was another thing to see their suspicions confirmed. Along with the sympathy came a spike of guilt they tried desperately to shake. They tried to remind themselves that they had to treat everyone with a level of suspicion. That is what Togami would do. The logical, clinical response to a situation so incredibly illogical, and what they needed to do to make sure everyone survived. But the guilt persisted, in spite of this logic. Komaeda had been higher than most on their watchlist, nearly higher than even Hinata, (who was the most suspicious out of all of them) only because of his closed off, peculiar demeanour. To suspect someone, just because they were a bit awkward, a bit unconfident, a bit…Different. Maybe it was what Togami would’ve done, but it didn’t make them feel any better about it. 

“‘Lonely’ is a pathetic word to describe the feeling.” Togami replied coldly. He locked eyes with Komaeda, and he shifted under his stare, “It’s a living hell.” They replied, a truth in their words so deep and unnatural to Togami, that for a small second, they felt uncertain. It was enough that, despite what he wanted, what Togami wanted, they broke eye contact first. It was dangerous, a little too far. Something in Komaeda’s face changed, and they quickly shifted gears. Togami closed his eyes, and smirked with a confidence they didn’t feel, “If you really wish to see these bonds between us all come to fruition as you say, perhaps it’s something you should consider.” 

That piercing look, stripping them like a nail through orange peel, disappeared. They felt it lift like a physical weight. Once it was gone, it was like it was never there in the first place. Komaeda smiled prettily, a slight glimpse of his white teeth peeking through, as he apologised, 

“Thank you for your concern, Togami. I’m sorry I made you worry.” 

Togami scoffed, “Don’t be stupid.” He scolded him, looking at him down his nose. Komaeda lowered his head, laughing quietly, and the control fell comfortably back into Togami’s hands. It was relieving. It made them stand on his feet a little steadier. 

“Ah, of course. I overstepped there, how lame of me.” Komaeda sighed. Then, a hard, serious look grew on his face, much more serious than was needed, “No, you’re absolutely right. I completely understand. It is exactly as you said it.” Komaeda looked at him, but it was…Different. Something disquieting sat in their stomach, like a small stray piece of burning shrapnel. A splinter that broke under their skin as it was recklessly pulled free. “In the end, above all else, your end goal must be your main focus, and you must be whoever you need to be to see that goal through to its glorious end.” 

Komaeda’s voice was the same as it ever was, breathy and light. But something was…wrong. Something undetectable, he couldn’t put his finger on it. He just knew something wasn’t right. Carbon dioxide. Silent, odourless. Deadly. 

The alarm blared in their head, a niggling beep they couldn’t ignore. 

“...And what is your goal exactly?” They asked. Years of practice kept Togami’s voice solid, portrayed none of the uncertainty they felt underneath his skin. 

Komaeda smiled. The beeping persisted. 

Togami didn’t flinch in the face of intimidation, so he didn’t swallow the nerves that built in the back of their throat.

“To see everyone here working together to make their hope shine brightly.”

Komaeda’s smile didn’t waver. The bright spark in their eye didn’t dim, and no matter how hard they pried, nothing budged. Everything stayed solid, real, genuine. 

So why did it all feel so…Wrong? 

“Hm…” 

That guilt they felt from before resurfaced. What had Komaeda really done to make them suspect him so harshly? Komaeda had been nothing but kind, nothing but helpful, and in his own, solid, truthful words, stated his plan was the exact same as their own. Komaeda had shown himself as nothing but their ally, supported their idea from the start, even while everyone else had cast doubt over it. Now they were suspecting him, because he smiled a bit weirdly? Because his stare was unsettling? Because he was a bit…Different? 

The circumstances were getting to him. This suspicion, distrust with no basis, was exactly what Monokuma wanted. Togami wouldn’t play into the hands of someone like Monokuma. He’d win on his own terms. They were inclined to agree. 

If there was someone to suspect, it just made this whole awful mess easier. With a place to point their finger, they’d know how to act, know how to win, know how to keep everyone safe.  

They changed the batteries in the alarm. Pushed the button to reset. The alarm stopped. They pretended it made them feel better. 

Togami huffed a laugh, and they turned away, with one final command, “Eat. You need fat on your bones. The island wind will blow you away.” 

“Yessir!” Komaeda replied playfully, his eyes scrunching handsomely as he giggled. 

Together they’d stand, divided they’d fall. That was the real truth at the centre of all this mess. It was what they needed to hold onto, in the face of everything else. Despite what Togami may want, they were not going to let any of them turn into murderers. 

There was comfort in control. But they would not let that comfort make a fool out of them.

#polaroid-steam-room #scratches #danganronpa #danganronpa fanfiction #ultimate imposter #nagito komaeda #imposter uses they/them pronouns but togami uses he/him . if that makes any sense. lol .

[ben-wisehart]

hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹

i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭

(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)

hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!

But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you’ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.

I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.

Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.

To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.

And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).

but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!

#svsss meta #anonymous #askbox #thank you for sharing your thoughts!! im sorry it took ages to reply #and that I mostly went on a tangent. again. idk what I'm saying half the time

[bylerfields]

maybe it's space curating bc i definitely see the mike side as the higher volume/frequency, i mean most times theres discourse it's bc someone poking at the will preference. like with the polls anons this week that only happened bc an anon said bratty btm mike was obvious and "at most" btm leaning switch, but stating it as fact not opinion. all preferences are opinion for the reasons you said, we only see them until 14 and havent seen their sex life. usually anything else said is just response to the first rudeness, or thats what i see. theres an acc on here who used to comment on btm will fics calling for btm mike instead which i think is very rude for fandom. theres accs on here blatantly posting on the public dash how people who don't prefer subby btm mike are crazy and even not as smart for not seeing it. how is that not rude? then the multiple times spicy polls anons have been rude instead of just sending asks about their preference for mike and making the experience better for themselves. did you see the polls anon that said something and added "anyway btm mike >>>" months ago? i dont think i've seen that from a btm will? i tried really hard to think if i had! but it's those kinds of behavior we dont need amongst us bc no one is better. i follow lots of spicy bylers and havent seen that from btm will or switch bylers, they just post about their preference. i've made moots with people who came from twitter who said it would happen there too, they'd respond to rudeness for not "getting" sub mike and suddenly are the bad guys. so they got tired by the behavior and stopped being active. maybe your dash is more peaceful but i dont see will sides of things saying things until prompted. or with every right to offer an opinion to what was said bc this is a public space. i'm surprised you've seen more for the opposing side? tbh you will have people who are extra who are rude in every side of a ship preference but the 'frequency' to me has been the mike side. i was annoyed when i saw the bratty anon on spicy polls bc i knew it was going to start more annoying discourse that means nothing. how are they shocked people don't share the same preference? thats normal in fandom. you'd have to be new to fandoms to be shocked

anon I unfortunately think this is just a case of you not seeing the rudeness on the other side because you agree with the stance. especially with the sentiment of people not being as smart for not seeing it - that’s like, a pretty pervasive topic in the sfw side of our fandom as far as will goes.

the ao3 comment thing is obviously rude so i’m with you on that.

it could definitely be that i just don’t follow or see posts like that, though i do follow some really kind people with bottom mike prefs. i’ll take your word for it, but i guess i’d say that even the “anyway bottom mike >” posts come across as tongue in cheek, and again, isn’t it okay to share preferences? it’s a little brash, sure, but it shouldn’t be shocking for people to want to express these prefs in the tag, like you said.

i’m saying all this with a pretty clear preference for bottom will, too, so it’s always a little surprising to me that others don’t see it because it’s not like i’m biased. but it’s just always felt obvious to me that bottom mike fans are the minority in the fandom - think about the reason you haven’t seen any of the asks of similar nature for bottom will in spicybylerpolls. there’s no need for it lmao - and it just takes one annoying comment, likely from an anon or someone not active in the fandom (that the op probably made without even thinking) to get 10 people to come to it’s defense with think pieces galore about the canon validity. sure, they have every right to comment on what was said but there shouldn’t be such a big need for defense, i guess?

have you thought about the possibility that theyre likely just experiencing fandom a little differently than you and (other than the ao3 comment thing) are not intending to invalidate you or be rude to you?

even with the recent anon sharing how surprised they were to find that more people didn’t see mike as a bottom, i get how it could come across as invalidating if they weren’t coming from a place of clearly knowing theyre in the minority of opinions. imagine someone saying that around the dinner table with friends. its funny, its a differing take, sure its a little over confident but it’s not rude to anyone - even with an opposing outlook myself i think it sparks fun conversation when someone else is shocked theyre the odd one out. i’m more curious than offended. i may be naive and giving them the benefit of the doubt, but this is often the tone i perceive when i see pro bottom mike posts. i think they’re pretty aware of what the common opinion is.

this is similar to how i feel when i see “where are the bottom mike fics/poll questions/etc? i’m tired of bottom will” again, same situation, if a friend said this in a group of bottom will fans, it doesn’t come across to me as being actually upset and wanting to silence us, it’s just: silly. there’s that surprise of “am i really the only one who didn’t go crazy over [insert xyz thing that mike did in the show], where are my people?” and i think they’re entitled to do so. just as people with our preference are over things we saw in the show. bottom will fans already have their people, it was the default when the polls started. i guess thats all i’m saying.

from my now 1.5 years on the nsfw side, it seems like there’s always going to be an assumption from someone that people sharing opinions about a more subby mike are being spiteful, rude, or trying to be divisive.

you say no one is better, but seem to have a very low tolerance for posts about bottom mike. having the preference is okay, but only if they come with the perfect angelic attitude about it. i’d say we don’t hold the same standard for bottom will posters - and it makes sense that you’re not gonna perceive a (pretty consistent) negative, superior attitude if you’re nodding along to the sentiment.

thank you for the context!!!

#i fear i’ll manage to piss off both sides with this #as per usual #spicy byler

[orangelemonsstuff]

my friend originally had this idea, too bad she dont have a Tumblr acc but credits still goes to her for this idea

Goodnight Argument

Jack x GN!Reader

Summary: You and Jack had an argument, you don't want to see his face tonight so you decided to sleep on your couch. Jack felt alone sleeping with himself

Tis pure fluff

*BAM!!*

furious, you slam the door to your shared bedroom close aggressively as you walk out leaving Jack stunned and alone in your room

your steps were thumping on the wooden floor and the staircase intentionally making loud noises to say you are way too damn upset

a disagreement between you and jack that turned into a heated argument left you upset

you click your tounge as you sat down on the couch, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed, the burning irritation inside you was slowly calming down

well you guess he's going to sleep alone tonight--

wait that was your room too

dammit you scewed up

you clearly didn't mean to walk out of your room leaving the man you had an argument with on it

you do want to go back in there but your pride won't take it and doing so was just basically proving Jack's point about you

if not the second one, then it'll be just awkward for the two of you sleeping in the same bed after what happened, probably just had your body turn the opposite of each other, maybe later in the night your bodies would suddenly cuddle out of spite probably missing the warmth of the other

waking up on that would be even more awkward, you will not know if you want to pull away or let it be, otherwise it'll still leave you two not talking to each other through the day

with overthinking those scenarios, you decided to sleep in the couch tonight, although you can't just barge in and get the pillows and blanket for more comfort

welp you'd just have to bear with it

one night of uncomfortable sleep in the sofa would be enough for you to cool off to be able to share a bed with him again

you sigh, you lay your head in the arm facing off the fireplace. why can't we have the tv down here? you want to at least pass your boredom

ah yeah, that's right Jack wanted the tv upstairs so the two of you could doze off on shitty tv shows while close to each other, specifically when he can't sleep without some noises in the background or without you, It was pretty sweet. maybe it's not too late to say sorry to hi--

No.

keep it together, he reap what he sow with the quarrel and sleeping separately for a few days isn't that hard but if he makes up to you tomorrow you might just as well sleep with him again next night

yawning you felt the worn out tiredness seeping in, you need to sleep for now then wake up next day after tomorrow next to him.

|•|

You were too prideful

Really? walking out of a room on a argument? you were childish than what he thought

he huffs out in frustration, scratching the back of his neck to relieve the seething itch

Jack was just trying to share his point of view, he didn't exactly want to start this big fight with you

but alas, your pride and his ego crashed through each other like opposing waves, battling a debate leaving both of you mad at each other

it has been alot of minutes since you left the room, you didn't seem to leave the house though, he didn't hear you opening the front door and leaving with the grunting you make as you go down the stairs

he figured you were too upset at him

and you don't seem to be coming back anytime soon to get a goodnight rest besides him

he lets out a sigh, you two don't argue that often so tonight's going to be different without you

he walked over to the lightswitch, flipping it off to darken the room he needed to feel comfortable enough to sleep even with himself only

he turned away from your side of the bed he's way too guilty to even take uo your space he shifted to find comfort in his own warmth making the neat sheets wrinkle in his movements, his eyes followed the clock's hand, its the time both of you would hover to each other and watch those...crappy game shows together

he tossed and turned around, his large hand placing on the empty space missing on a body he used cradle in his arms, he was used to doing this and you would always let him... he is clearly used to you just being besides him

he tossed and turned around again, seeking out something, someone to make this night bearable

he could do this, he is used sleeping alone before so why now? he should just close his eyes and let be drifted away in the darkness of rest

he turned around again doing the sane thing earloer by putting his hand onto a missing waist he used hold on

this is messing him up

two hours have passed and he did the same process over and over again till he can't take it anymore

he stood up from the bed and took a long inhale and exhaled indifferently. the room smells alone with his scent

dammit he misses you

just for this night he would swallow his ego just for you, hopefully you could do the same with your pride so he would get his good-night rest

it's not that going to be hard just-- he just wishes you would be alright for this in the morning and be asleep by now

|•|

He's here

you hear creaking of the floorboard rhymed with light steps of a large footed wolf beastman

he's probably going for a water or something, you two fought it's none of your business to go check on him, still, you are just a bit curious what he'll do actually

the footsteps are getting nearer and closer to you

your eyes were still closed yet your senses can feel his presence, of course you were not asleep yet with a lot in your mind after the lovers quarrel between you two. or maybe because you can't sleep without Jack either

a lot of time you two spend, you were used being next to each other at this home, breakfast, lunch or dinner even nights you two stay up for no dumb reason.

yeah... you missed him.

you felt his figure gets to you and bent down a little moving a bit closer to your face, you kept your eyes closed thinking the phrase "what does he want? is he going to wake me up to say sorry or start it agai--" as your thoughts were interrupted by his hands going underneath your thighs and the other to your nape

he's carrying you in a bridal style

you've figured he's going to move you in your room so you could sleep comfortably

he held you close next to his soft clothed chest making you hear every muffled pound of his hearbeat god you want to cling to him so bad, just to hang both of your arms to his neck and lean in closer to hear it clearer and feel his warmth more but you can't do that, you're asleep right now is what he knows

he might had a point earlier, maybe you were just a tiny bit prideful, you should consider yourself lucky with a guy like Jack being on your side, and you do you are way more grateful than anything to have him.

his footsteps to the creaking wooden staircase were light for a heavy guy like him, still holding you close like a treasure he always have kept

he reached the top of the stairs and walked in to the room, plopping you down immediately at the bed, a grunt escaping him as you plopped down on the bed

ah yes the soft and smooth mattress hitting your skin was more comfortable than the rough plushed texture of the sofa, you rolled over to the other side (Jack's side of bed) to feel his left warmth by laying down alone earlier

this is bliss.

Jack wasn't aware you were smiling to yourself because of you facing the other side making him think you're still upset to him (you're not) even in sleeping so what he did was also lay down besides you to your side of the bed before and face the other way opposing you, like fighting couple on a bed scene where they turn to each other to express how upset they were

not feeling Jack's hand the same way it was always put on your waist to pull you close to snuggle up, you instead turned over and put your whole arm barely wrapping over his big muscular body

you opened your eyes, peeking a bit for his reaction, you see his wolf ears flinch a bit and his cheeks tinted a bit red

he maybe upset or not, be too embarrassed to hug you back, but you'll keep doing this till he's content and as a sorry at your side.

a/n: finally done this b was sitting on my drafts for few days lol, shout out to my friend who we gonna call HanaLemon she just spewing out ideas right into my head idk what to do sometimes

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #twst x reader #twst reader insert #twst jack #jack howl #twst jack x reader #jack howl x reader

[legallysoup]

22.10.23 - sunday, dimanche, søndag 10/31 days of the studyblr community challenge

lots of language learning today! i promoted in duolingo leagues and im getting whiplash from it ngl.

things i did today:

🌼finished my economics (vocab, etc). i did it kinda badly but ill just edit it later i guess 🌼more french (food revision ig) 🌼a very small amount of minerals research

things i will try to do tomorrow:

🍃more of my minerals research 🍃finish more than 50% of my french vocab 🍃edit my economics (its terrible i just cbb tbh)

things i did for me today: 🌧️went for a run (there was rain!! i love rain <3) 🌧️just chilled again today tbh 🌧️washed my hair (idk if this counts as self care but who cares)

day ten: what is the one thing you wished you could change about studyblr?

to be honest i don't really know, i haven't spent enough time here (just over a week ;-;) to properly say, but i reckon the main thing is probably just the STUDY TILL YOU DIE mentality some people give off. like yes that is great but where is the 'i support you even though you take an unconventional route'? where is the 'i think you can do it, even if no one else has. being first is hardest, and that makes you the best in your own way's? we're a community reason. but other than that this was hard because i love studyblr a lot! love you guys <33

today has a bit more ✨slay✨ ykwim. its interesting picking pictures because my blog is chaos and has no theme but what i might just end up matching my notion layout (i love my notion sm) and its green and cream yup.

bonus round: things i might do to my acc for the aesthetic

✨choose a theme for now or smth revamp later girlie ✨tag and sort my posts ✨write an intro with said tags ✨just be aesthetic yass queen slay

go drink some water lovelies! have a great day/night/whatever time it is for you <33

#good soup #studyblr #studyblr challenge #studyblr community challenge #chaotic academia #langblr #language learning #french #norwegian #aesthetic #studyspo

[p1nk-syr1nge]

Southern Remedies [PLATONIC](Engineer x Reader)

ok this is kinda a repost bc i was tryna make this a primary acc, so apologies

Engineer and Reader bonding. 

Idk literally just fatherlike engie bc i crave it… + we don't get enough father content of the mercs i think

also this is my first time posting a fic... my apologies if it's not super great, i just wanna practice...

A long hard day of battle. It was finally over, and Engie could finally rest and put his machines away. The clanking of the metal boxes hitting the shelf was rather loud, but never unsatisfying to him. Because then he knew it was done, and he could finally put his feet up for the day.

Though, the knocking on the door that led to his garage told him otherwise. Lifting his goggles to his forehead with a soft sigh, he left his current spot to go see whoever decided to interrupt his moment of tranquility. He was begging, in his mind, that it wasn’t Scout or Soldier, or at the very least a call for dinner. But no… they just had to disturb him, what could possibly be so impo-

Oh.

There you stood, slightly cupping your cheek with a sheepish, and embarrassed face. Blood leaked down your cheek as you tried to stop the bleeding with your hand. The red lined indents from Engineer’s goggles contorted into an expression of concern, worry, and confusion all at once.

Why were you bleeding? Why didn’t you get Medic? Were you ok? Though he said nothing, his hand rushed to your own to reveal the wound. It wasn’t terrible, but you only saw his eyebrows furrow deeper, deeper than you thought possible.

“Sorry, I just wanted to know if you had a first aid kit. Medic’s in a mood right now and I don’t really want to see him right now…” You tried to frantically explain, feeling more ridiculous with every second.

He only let out a sigh in response, with a soft “come on in”. He had grabbed a stool from his workbench and sat it in front of his own, pulling a first aid kit out from one of the drawers.

“Dear, I really think you should be more careful…” he gently scolded, patting your shoulder and walking you over to the stool. “That looks like a nasty cut, what’d ya even do?”

“Oh uh… last minute enemy spy thing, I guess.”

“Mm, those bastards will get ya. Just be glad it was a graze, ‘n didn’t go through your face.”

The visual image was unpleasant, to say the least, but he had a point. Had it been any worse, it probably would have cut right through your cheek.

Delicately, he dabbed away the blood with a dampened cloth. Absent-mindedly, he cleaned and patched you up almost without a word. There wasn’t much to say anyways. Yet, the kind gesture of him helping you made you feel particularly warm and fuzzy inside.

“Alright now, you’re all done. Just don’t scratch at the bandages, get it wet, y’know what to do already,” he said. He hauled you up after getting back on his feet, and led you both out of the garage after giving you a firm pat on the back. “You did great out there today, kid. I’m real proud.”

“Ah, thanks…” You mumbled, slightly embarrassed but not upset. You thanked him and left, after apologizing for “being a hassle”. He only chuckled and ruffled your hair.

Though the interaction felt short, it seemed so genuine. 

So homey.

#tf2 imagines #tf2 x reader #engineer x reader #dad engie #fatherlike #dell conagher x reader #p1nk syr1nge #dad shaped engie #this is so self indulgent im so sorry #reader

[cocogrrrl]

rendezvous

Chapter 7: Half-Doomed, Semi-Sweet

brad finds that a night in the club with ed (kevin) and the girls churns out a few interesting details. later, brad and yn are alone.

wc: 3162 cw: inbriated people and drinking and smoking and clubs check the series masterlist here! previous chapter

an: fun fact the latter half of this chapter is what started this whole shebang! wrote it on the plane long b4 this acc

He entered the place with, Kevin, only to be greeted by sweaty, inebriated people. The smell of the place disgusted him. Clubs were definitely not his favorite place.

“Brad!” A faint voice belonging to YN called out. He looked through the sea of people, trying to find her.

The music set for ambiance was a little too loud for his liking, and it seemed like she called him with a slur etched onto her tongue. Maybe that was just the dizziness he felt from the suffocating feeling of being in the crowd. Honestly, he was glad that he could even hear her in the bustling space of noise. 

She found him first, and so he was greeted by her intoxicating (err, more like intoxicated actually) smell. Yeah, she was probably really drunk already. He wondered how many drinks she already had. I mean, he meant that with no harm, but he found her clinging onto his arm. Note that it wasn’t even that late yet.

“What took you so long?!” She lightheartedly fumed with a pout, punching him on the arm.

“Fashionably late?” He replied, looking at his boring get-up of a jacket thrown-on jacket over a loosely-buttoned shirt and some pants.

In actuality, they were late because Kevin had nothing to wear. He was supposed to borrow some clothes from Kenny since he put in an awful lot of effort into fashion from time to time. The blonde, however, had nothing that he wanted to wear.

To add to more damage, they had a difficult time finding the club since it was hidden away and located a little away from the town.

“In that outfit, you’re not.” She laughed, eyeing his outfit as well. ”I’m guessing this is Ed?” She asked, pointing to him.

“Yup.” He nodded nonchalantly.

“Cool! Nice to meet you. You look better than Brad here. You should teach him a trick or two about dressing up.” She leaned over to Ed, whispering the latter to him. The whisper sounded more like a yell, though, since Brad could hear what she was saying.

“Will do, ma’am.” He courteously bowed down to her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.”

“Chivalry is not dead it seems.” She said, having an arm out for him to grab and get up. “I’ll show you guys to Bebe and Red.” She walked to one of the booths on the sides, to which you two trailed behind her.

“Hey, Red. Hey, Bebe.” Brad greeted, waving to them and taking a seat on the empty side of the table.

“Hi, Brad.” The two of them greeted—Bebe with a bright smile and Red with a nod.

“I’m guessing that’s Ed,” Bebe inquired, pointing to your friend, who shuffled down and sat beside you.

“Mhm.”

“I’m gonna go get a drink. You four chit-chat, ‘kay?” YN interjected.

“Can you get me a refill on this whiskey? I’m all out.” Bebe asked, handing her empty glass to her.

“Gotcha.” She replied, grabbing the glass. ”Red, do you want anything?” The girl replied with a shake of the head. ”Okay.”

“I’m guessing she’s already had something to drink?” Brad said once she left.

“Yup, she downed a Long Island as soon as we got here,” Bebe explained, looking at her phone, presumably texting someone.

“Really? I can barely get through a drink in under half an hour, and she just finishes one whole drink like it’s nothing?”

“That’s our YN.” Red smiled, leaning her body onto Bebe’s shoulder.

“What time did you guys get here, by the way?” Brad asked.

“10:45, I think?” Bebe answered, now redirecting her focus on the two boys.

“That’s pretty early.”

“We had nothing better to do.” Bebe yawned. “What prompted you to bring Ed?”

“Well, this place is a little away from town, but Ed’s apparently been here before. He’s here to accompany me.”

“Cute, so he’s your date?” Red joked.

“I’m more like his plus one, but I’ll take it.” Ed beamed optimistically. ”I’d date Brad any day!”

“Considering it a date, then.”

“Thanks!” He said with a giggle. “I’m gonna go get a drink. You want anything, dude?” Ed offered, turning to Brad.

“You think you can get me a forty?”

“Oh, sure, definitely!” Ed reassured with a strong sense of eagerness as he made his way out of the booth.

Bebe had her back turned from Brad and Red as Ed walked away to grab their drink. As soon as he was out of earshot, she looked back at Brad. “Okay, we’re clear,” she expressed, letting out a sigh. “Brad.”

“Yes?” He responded accordingly, nervous.

The gravity of the people he was surrounded with settled in an instant. Right. He wasn’t just hanging out with some girl’s friends, he was hanging out with possible murderers. He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t help but not that Bebe’s stare at him was a deathly one. Red too, but she often had a cold look on her face anyway. No offense to her.

What were they going to do to him this moment? Hopefully nothing too bad. He did gain a little of their trust the last time he was out with them. Right? Agh, he hoped he wasn’t on their bad side.

Maybe it was his anxiousness messing with him, though. The only thinking he seems to have is overthinking anyway.

“YN’s probably gonna forget to ask you this, but you wanna join us on Friday? We’re gonna check on the guy we met up with last time, and you were solid last time. The girl wanted to bring you again.”

“We know that you know we’re some gang or whatever,” Red added.

Huh? What did that mean? Did that mean they knew he was undercover? He’s cooked for sure. It’s over for him now, isn’t it? He completely bombed the operation. Jesus Christ. Where the hell is Kevin now? He was supposed to help Kyle! He seemed to disappear so quick. Ohshitohfuck — abortabortabort! 

“At least a lot of people do anyway. We figured you’re one of them.” Bebe added further onto Bebe’s last statement.

Ah. It’s as if a hundred-kilogram weight was lifted off of Kyle’s chest.

“Ahahah, yeah!” Brad laughed, trying to cover up the tenseness on his shoulder.

“You know, I’m surprised you aren’t scared of us anyways.” Bebe laughed along with him.

“Love knows no bounds.” He joked, raising his arm proudly as he spoke.

“Fuckin’ romantic. Get your corny ass out of here.” Red said, finding herself laughing with the two of them now. Brad fake-scoffed in reply.

“So, are you coming with us or not?” Bebe asked, turning her head a bit to the side.

“Oh, yeah! Sure. I think I’m free.” He accepted, quickly looking through his phone to check his schedule.

“Perf. Meet us in front of the hotel at 10 PM, ‘kay?” The blonde smiled—a sharp contrast to her supposed deep stare at him a few moments ago.

“Gotcha.” Brad clicked his tongue, nodding.

“She really likes you, by the way.” Red hummed.

A smile crept up on the edge of his lips. Seems like he was doing his job right, then. He guessed that they haven’t found out that he’s undercover and that YN already likes him. Cool.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Don’t do anything funny or do anything stupid, though. You may like her, but she’s still healing.” Red said, tagging on her last statement. Again, Brad received a dirty look from her. Did YN’s friends like him or not?

“Healing? From what?” He asked, a little confused.

“She got back from a pretty bad breakup a little over a month ago,” Bebe explained, eyes drawn back again to her phone.

”If you fuck with her, you fuck with us. Yeah?” Red hissed at him, yet a smug grin on her face.

“She may act pretty reckless sometimes, but at the end of the day, she’s still human. She’s our best friend.” Bebe intervened one more, massaging Red’s shoulders to signal her to calm down.

“Yeah, I got that. It’s not like I’m dating her, though.”

“Yet,” Red mumbled, rolling her eyes.

Their conversation seemed to have dissolved, though. It ended in a quiet nothingness between the three. Kyle couldn’t help but feel a sense of hatred that came from the two. Perhaps they were just looking out for YN? As they said, she can be a wreck sometimes, but she still is their best friend.

A text message quickly swept him off from his thoughts, though.

April 3, 11:21 PM

??? want your daily dose?

As soon as his eyes scanned over the text, he looked to see where YN was. How convenient. She wasn’t in sight.

kyle you word it in such an odd way

??? is there a problem with that?

kyle no  no there isnt i’m out though so i can’t do what you want

??? i’m probably still gonna give you the hint either way just do it when you can yeah?

kyle you make a point 

??? alright you nasty fuck

kyle excuse me?

??? never mind send a cute pic of yourself pouring a glass of wine

kyle alright later

??? of course cutie ;)

Immediately, a voice sweeps him out of his conversation.

“Damn, Brad!” The voice quickly gathers all three of the people’s attention. “I was joking about Ed looking good, but look! He’s going wild there!”

Quickly, Brad shot his gaze toward Ed, a hint of worry. There he was, Kevin, grinding on some girl. Keep in mind, it hasn’t even been five minutes since the guy deserted Kyle (and he probably hasn’t even had anything to drink yet), and the guy’s here already dry-fucking someone. Christ.

Whatever.

“Dude.” He stared at him disappointingly.

“Aww, your date ditched you.” Red snickered.

“How unfortunate,” Brad replied sarcastically, sighing as he rested his head on the table.

⋆｡˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚

Eventually, Bebe and Red had to leave. Bebe had work to get to the next morning, and Heidi wanted Red home at that moment.

That leaves just you and Brad alone in the booth. You two were sitting right beside each other as the music pumped itself in your ears. Over the few hours you spent here, though, you’ve just learned how to tune it out.

“So that leaves just the two of us, huh?” Brad spoke up as soon as Bebe and Red had exited the room.

“Yeah.”

The empty air filled the silence that was between you two. The club was lively and it only seemed like it was going to just be louder. Despite the noise, you felt a serene quiet between the two of you, funnily enough. It was a quiet that you could find yourself comfortably basking in. Yeah, you could go the whole night by his side in this peacefulness.

And then the silence was disturbed.

You were the one to break it. “I’m gonna go out for a smoke. Do you wanna come?” You motioned your head to point to a door that stood in the back of the club. It lead to an empty alleyway only illuminated by the weak light of an adjacent lampost. He nodded suit and followed your stride outside the busy club.

You didn’t realize how cold it was since, as soon as you stepped outside, the air immediately bit onto your skin. The sensation made you shiver, causing you to bring your palms to your arms to provide some warmth.

Maybe Brad spotted the action because, next thing you know, he was shrugging his jacket off and placing it on your shoulders. You looked back at him curiously. Isn’t this dude a cop supposedly tracking you down? Why does he seem so nice to you? He’s probably just making you like him more, but he didn’t have to do that.

“Thanks.” You smiled, reaching into your bag and pulling out a cigarette and a lighter to light it up.

“Of course.” He returned the grin as you took a long drag from the stick.

“You want one?” He shook his head in reply. “Stand here, second-hand smoke.” You laughed, pulling him to a side farther away from the smoke. The wind passed through you and carried the toxins away from the direction you pulled Brad from.

He mumbled a ‘thank you’, to which you acknowledged with a hum. That wasn’t the only thing he had to say, though. “So, just curious, did you grow up in this town?” Brad scooted closer to YN, making sure to leave a small space for both of them to breathe.

“Well, no. I’m from upstate,” You breathed. It was true. You grew up and lived there for a good part of your life. “I moved here a few years ago. Did you grow up in this town?”

“Oh, yeah. I grew up all my life. I only moved out for college, but I returned here as soon as I graduated.” He smiled to himself as he set he rested his body weight on the wall.

You wondered if he was being honest. I mean, he seemed genuine, but he could have easily lied about that. Although, it doesn’t seem like too personal of a question as well. Maybe telling truth was better.

“So you know this place well?” You asked, shifting your view from the dirty, brick wall to him.

“Like the back of my hand.” He replied, his eyes already on you the whole time. Seeing his gaze on yours, you find yourself smiling

“Well,” you paused to think of the right words to use. ”Has this place always been, for lack of a better word, gloomy?” You asked. 

In your few years of residence here, you noticed that the place seemed to be a ghost town. Well, not completely, but it seemed to be so bleak and dreary. You just wondered, and maybe even hoped, that it was alive at one point.

“I guess not. I mean, crime has always been common here. The town used to be very lively and unique.” You could sense a certain distaste with how he said that last word. You didn’t press on it, though. ”It’s just that people change, you know?”

“Ah, yeah.” You nodded. ”What was it like before then?”

“Well, you know Cartman, right?” You nodded. Cartman, to you, was a friend. You’re well-acquainted with him, and on rare occasions you even get him to do your bidding. Speaking of which, you should probably ask him more about Kyle. “When we were kids—I shit you not—he killed this kid’s parents and fed them to him.”

“No way…” You said, your jaw slightly agape in shock. There is no way that shit was capable of that, especially as a little kid, right?  Maybe it was over something serious. ”Over what?”

“Cause the kid that picked on him, like, he stole 16 dollars and publicly humiliated him in front of the whole town.”

Your jaw seemed to go only lower. Brad found himself laughing at your reaction, amused. So was this kind of fucked-up shit normal to him? “You’re playing. There is no way that’s real.

“It really is!” He rose from his position and laughed along with you. “And get this: there’s this girl who sent her substitute teacher to the sun once.” He added.

“How, why?” 

“My best friend Stan and his girlfriend, Wendy, were together then, yeah? Stan had a crush on our substitute teacher, Ms. Ellen. Wendy got super jealous. When Ms. Ellen said that she was going to be a permanent teacher there, Wendy lost her shit, and so she decided to hire a few people to send her off into the sun.”

“The fuck? You all were kids when that happened?” you spoke. Brad had a knowing nod over your reaction.

“Yeah, there were a lot of other crazy things that happened when we were kids. Aliens, Cthulhu, or ManBearPig, it all felt normal to us honestly.” He smiled to himself. “I used to hate it here cause it seemed like nothing made sense all the time.”

“Let me guess, you were the peacemaker friend, then got tired and gave up on others?” You mused, rocking on your feet as you looked expectantly at him.

“Maybe,” he agreed, giving a brief nod. ”But I’d rather call myself the voice of reason.”

“How so?”

“I’d give ‘Today I learned’ type of speeches growing up, and whenever shit hit the fan, I was often the one to intervene and warn that the idea was stupid.”

“Uhuh,” you murmured at his sentiment, paying no mind to it. Not really a proper reply that said much, just to not leave him hanging on a response all that much. To be courteous, to shorten it all up.

You looked at Brad as if his eyes were somewhere else. ‘Maybe he was a respectable person,’ you thought to yourself. No, he definitely was. It’s just that you wouldn’t normally respect him in the kind of predicament you’re in. Not to say that you’ve been in a situation like this before, no. He just seemed a lot nicer than, you know, most other cops.

You wondered what would have happened if Bebe didn’t tell you that he was some narc. What would have happened? 

You weren’t sure why, but even if Brad was on the hot trail of arresting you for whatever reason, you felt like it was easy to be around him—at least when you’re not trying to play things safe. He seemed compassionate and genuine under the persona he was trying to play.

At the end of the day, though, he’s a guy trying to take you down. You shouldn’t enjoy his company.

“I know you said you’re tough and all, and it’s true I suppose, but you definitely don’t look like it. Have you had any run-ins with the police?” A risky question, but it would either mean he’d lie or get the hint you know. If he was going to with the former, what exactly would he say? In your peripheral, you could spot him tense up a little at your question.

He was a little slow to answer. “Uh, well, just a few times.” Oh? “Nothing too notable. Mostly just speeding tickets and stuff. I don’t really beat people up and stuff like you guys do—no offense.” He said, hastily adding that last part.

His eyes were fixed onto yours, which hadn’t met his. You could hear him faintly lear his throat up and chuckle with nervousness behind it.

“You seemed so scared. What’s the matter, Brad?” You laughed. “Are you actually a narc or something?”

“No. I mean, I would’ve arrested you on-site when you beat that guy up. That is if I were a cop.” He tried playing a cool guy, a confident person, but the tips of his ears were red. “You saw me scare that guy. I don’t think any of South Park’s force has the gut to do that.”

“Yeah, sure.” You hummed.

next chapter.

#cocogrrrl's writing #south park fanfiction #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle broflovski x you #kyle x reader #cocogrrrl's rendezvous series

[hauntedselves]

hello, im not sure if ive sent this ask to another blog or if it was yours and its simply in the queue but i thought id ask again just in case

main q : could you explain what would qualify shallow vs deep, intense, andor strong emotions ?

personal context : it feels like my emotions are both at once. this seems to be a trait of hpd, but i only have bpd to my knowledge, though cluster b pds do ofc tend to share traits

im not quite sure how to explain my experience but it might be one of these :

my feelings seem big but i cannot acces them / i can only handle them mechanically and from a distance (dissociation ?)

my emotions are deep in the moment, but they change rapidly and once theyre over i forget how they truly felt and associate their lack of permenance with fakeness (general bpd symptoms + emotional impermanence)

i generally feel more numb than most ppl so even small feelings feel intense to me and so im very intolerent to them

i like putting words to how i feel, so having a definition for "shallow" emotion would help, and so would knowing if other ppl experience similar feelings

and thank you so much for running this blog :]

yes i got your previous ask, and it's been sitting in my drafts since you sent it because i don't know the answer!

i can't find anything that actually explains what shallow emotions are, only that they happen and are particularly common in HPD, BPD, and probably NPD and AsPD. it's part of the criteria for HPD ("Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions."), and it's often paired with the contradiction that emotions can be shallow and deep, intense and limited at the same time.

as for your personal experiences:

"my feelings seem big but i cannot acces them / i can only handle them mechanically and from a distance" - yep, that sounds like dissociation, or at the very least emotional dysregulation. very common in BPD.

"my emotions are deep in the moment, but they change rapidly and once theyre over i forget how they truly felt and associate their lack of permenance with fakeness" - you're right again, classic BPD & emotional dysregulation(/impermanence).

"i generally feel more numb than most ppl so even small feelings feel intense to me and so im very intolerent to them" - also classic dissociation & emotional dysregulation

i don't know which of these, if any, is an experience of shallow emotions, because i don't know what shallow emotions means! if i had to guess, i would say the first and second ones seem like something i would call "shallow" emotions. but that's a guess because, again, i don't know!

sorry it took so long for such an unsatisfactory answer!

#dogasks #emotional dysregulation #shallow emotions #shallow affect

[diddybok]

OOOOH ok interesting - first and foremost, guy best friend is a FLOP for being so lazy with your friendship, because you were initially interested in letting things get interesting, but now that HE'S trying to do that ON TOP of historically being flaky with the friendship? like no heaven forbid he goes out of his way during the day but oh at night when he's feeling it you have to? LIKE MATE BE FOR REAL AND be respectful?? it really seems like he likes you right now - did he seem disappointed after you kissed the friend?

if you're over him and his flakiness, then by all means drop him, you deserve infinitely better than waiting for him to want to see you - you deserve someone, a best friend, bf, something else or both, who would love to see you any time of the day and is ACTIVE in seeking you out 💕 i've been through a similar-ish situation with a flaky guy friend showing some level of interest, and a stalker girl mutual friend who seemingly encouraged him and i, but goes off to have a whole ordeal with him after mild things happened between the guy and i, when he apparently was "in love" with her the whole time? that's irrelevant 😭

my point is, i have tried to stay neutral with him the whole time, even though i knew him longer. it would be nice if none of this happened and we could still talk normally, but i'm not interested in trying to fix it, so being neutral is the way to go, rather than dropping him completely, to save the awkwardness. if you were to be neutral with him then you could potentially keep his door open if something were to happen in the future, which might be useful?? but it seems like you're pretty interested in mr uni pookie 😏😏😏😏😏😏 I SHIP IT

all the best with the two of these guys, and i guess just have fun with it?? enjoy the ride 🤪 always here if you want to chat or vent, or spill more tea 😊

omg this is like girl/chix talk time and i want to make it a regular occurrence where we all just talk abt shit happening in our lives atm! obvs not forcing anyone to!

okay imma start by saying REAL!!! i think in this case i would just put a hard line of it being strictly platonic. i already started to distance myself from him and i think he kinda caught on yesterday when i wasn’t entertaining it like i would have in the past.

but yeah all feelings for him are, and i can confidently say, gone🧌 but yeah no the other guy is so cute i wanna squish his cheeks😣

BUT WOAH??? youRE tea?!?! stalker girl and your friend😲 that’s acc kinda crazy. oh my god that would make me feel so, just, my eye would be TWITCHIN! the audacity. i strongly dislike girls like that, boys is a given because they do it to themselves by being themselves,, but the girls that try to set it up KNOWING behind your back they’re pulling a madness?

yeah you’re done for mate.

i woulda instantly removed myself from both of them. probably the guy too because wdym you were in love with her but talking like that with me? how are you to act then if we got into a relationship. next thing you know you get the “hey girly i know you don’t know me but-”😭😭

but i’m not getting my hopes up for uni boy, rather im already preparing for it all to be a purely just friends situation which 😀 is fine because he’s a good mate, so i guess it’d be a win win if it goes either way! but again no getting my hopes up. because i’ve learnt my lesson too many times whilst ignoring the facts and ended up getting all upset when i grew to attached😪

anyways that was fun, thank you for fuelling this little talk time with me!

#diddybok asks #diddybok waffle