Omg after reading part v and Xavier’s promise offer to patch y/n up quietly whenever she needs —and all its deeper meaning—I’d love your head cannons on Xavier having a bad mental health day (per Xavier’s mention in the show that he struggles with his mental health and his dad wants him to keep it secret) and !valkyrie reader making a similar offer. 💜
✧*ೃ࿐ TONGUES & TEETH HEAD CANNONS
[ INTERLUDE II: FOR HIS BAD DAYS ]
xavier thorpe x valkyrie! reader
#CONTAINS— fluff, angst
#AUTHORSNOTE— i'm writing pt. 6 of tongues and teeth rn, but this request is so dear to my heart cause i struggle with mental health almost every day. thank you sm for requesting this xx
— both you and xavier have had a history of neglect and trauma regarding your parents, so that means that bad mental health days happen.
— you don’t get to help him on his bad mental health days prior to the relationship, and vice versa. it takes a lot of trust for you both to fully let people see those sides of you.
— that doesn’t mean that you or xavier don’t see when the other is struggling with their emotions. like that one scene i wrote where xavier says, “take your time,” is an example of the subtle ways he’d help.
— but that shared hardship with emotions also means that both of you can read each other like a book; you both notice the slight changes in mood or when each other’s social battery decreases. it’s something that takes a lot of work from the both of you, but you make it work.
you moved your head to the other side of the pillow, groggy eyes adjusting to the soft light that was emitted from the side table.
xavier’s lips were in a permanent frown as he drew on his sketchbook, his knees pulled up to allow him to prop his art on it. his pencil moved on the paper, the soft scratches dragging you further away from your exhaustion.
“you’re awake,” you said, seeking his close presence as you moved to lay close to him. the sleepiness in your eyes melted when you saw the turmoil in his green eyes. the lack of response only furthered your worry for him. “xavier,” you said softly, sitting up and holding his arm gently, pausing his drawing.
xavier said nothing as he put his pencil down reluctantly. he looked at you, his eyes softening ever so slightly at your pleading eyes. he knew he should talk to you when he had moments like this. moments where he felt as though nothing was going right, as though what he was doing could never be good enough for anyone.
but then he felt you squeeze his arm three times for those three words you’ve said to him over and over, and he found himself spilling his thoughts out to you. and you were so happy to soak everything up.
— you're really cautious about giving him advice during his bad mental health days. you know more than anyone that having someone to listen and comfort you can help just as much as solutions.
— but that doesn’t mean that you both won’t give each other advice when the other asks.
— it took a while for the two of you to work out how to help each other out during bad mental health days. both of your were so used to dealing it on your own that it was hard to actually address it with the other person.
— but it was you that made an indirect promise to him when he finally spoke to you.
the sound of his father's party was merely a muffle as you brought xavier to the balcony. you could feel the quickening of his pulse under your fingertips and how his skin was clammy; he was hyperventilating, the words of his father circulating in his head like a mantra.
how could someone be so degrading about their own son purely for the laughter of others? to speak so lowly of someone they were supposed to care for and raise?
"hey." you looked at him, your hand being the only form of physical contact with him as your worried face studied his.
xavier wasn't having a panic attack, you knew that. but you knew that he couldn't be in that environment for any longer than he was, for as you looked at his misty eyes and frowning brows, his quivering lip and how he sucked it between his teeth to try and keep it in, you wanted to cry with him.
"breathe with me, okay?" you placed his hand on your chest as you breathed rhythmically, allowing the fresh air to fill your lungs and exit slowly. xavier could only follow you, his eyes still threatening to spill over with tears as every exhale he let out shook with his emotions.
if he wasn't xavier's father, you would have burned him to the ground. xavier could see the anger you hid behind your worry, how he knew you would have easily demanded an apology from his father if you didn't know any better.
"do you want to talk about it?" you asked softly as his breathing slowed, your hands cupping his face. your thumbs brushed away the tears that spilled over his cheeks so gently, as though you were afraid that you would break him.
xavier could only shake his head. the possibility of being interrupted by his father was far too high for his liking; if he ever saw xavier like this, he would be forced to return to the party almost immediately. he'd have to get himself together. "'m sorry you have the burden of seeing me like this." he almost winced at how much of his father's words he heard in his sentence.
you pressed a kiss to his forehead as he sniffled, your head moving down to press your foreheads together. you took his hands into yours and thumb ran along his knuckles. "it's never a burden— not if it's you. never, if it's you."
— sometimes xavier does have to stop you from starting a fight with his father. it's a given, considering you're so fiercely protective of him and so accustomed to violence. but xavier kind of likes it because he's always been the one that was overprotective of others, not the other way around.
— xavier also has a really bad sleeping schedule; it gets worse during bad mental health days. you like staying up with him; not to talk to him all the time, but because you don't want him to feel like he's alone in his father's house again, dealing with his emotions without the presence of another.
— but you know how to get him back to bed when it's way too late in the night for him to be awake.
you heard him tap his paintbrush against his jar of turpentine three times quick. the rain rolled outside his dorm room, the droplets hitting the window violently. but while the night was violent and harsh, your lover's brush strokes were soft as he worked on his painting.
he had been quiet for most of the day. there was no particular reason for it— he didn't need a reason for it. sometimes that was just how he felt, and you understood that. he didn't feel like there was anything to talk about, only murmuring that he was simply feeling down and that talking felt too exhausting.
but as the clock flashed 3:32, you knew it was time to drag him to bed.
you wrapped the blanket around yourself as you stood up. your feet made small sounds on the floor as you approached him with the blanket dragging on the floor behind you. gently, you laid your forehead on his back, feeling his muscles relax under your touch. his chest vibrated as he hummed in acknowledgement.
xavier turned to look behind him, the shadow of sadness on his face lightening up at the feeling of your touch. "hi," he managed to say, his voice quiet as he gave you a small smile that took up a majority of his energy. he was exhausted— mentally and physically —from everything, but couldn't bring himself to be under the covers just yet. he felt guilty for being so down all day without reason; he felt bad that you had to deal with him.
"it's 3:32."
"i can see that," xavier responded, turning back to his work. the shuffling of the blanket was followed by your blanketed arms wrapping around his middle. his gaze softened, his arm falling down to put his paintbrush away.
“come to bed with me, xavier.” the request come out softly, your words nothing short of hopeful and worried. you were reaching out to him, calling for him and expecting him to answer. for him to take your hand or answer your call with his own.
in the end, he always returned to you. he always gave in, not because he was tired or because he was annoyed, but because it was you. he always gave in if it was for you.
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