#tw did

[shitty-goose-quack]

how do i figure out who i am?? is there like a list of questions or smth?? i hate this. quinns friend came over and they didn't even get to talk.. i feel like a fraud i took their time we haven't seen them in forever and now quinn didn't see them and it sucks

i hate inviting friends over here my house sucks my mom can hear everything and nothing feels private or comfortable

god who am i?? i wish my irl friends would ask me that and see us as different people

they know but idk if they get it, and its so hard to describe when we're like.. at school and ppl can hear and shit, and i hate being at my house and i haven't gone over to their houses and i feel so alone in this, bc i want them to understand and ask and shit, or at least quinn wants that

god fucking, idk who i amm

sorry ranting online, we gotta stop that.

tl;dr: do any systems have like, a check list or anything they use to help get to know a new alter/part/headmate/etc? like... idk sorry im really unfocused sorry too much going on uhh yeah sorry

#sgq #did #plural posting #help lol #system things #osdid #adding all the tags so someone can find this lol #system #tw swearing #did system #tw did #plurality #osdd system #please no syscorse #look at me #i dont like using 'did' but i kinda need help so into the unused tags we go

[xxserratedskeletonsxx]

TW rant about past life, DID, body dysphoria, gender dysphoria, 3D, identity problems

I wanna go home. I miss my past life. I hate being an alter. I don't look like me. This isn't my life. This isn't my home.

I'm so much smaller than this body. I actually look like a man. I miss everything about my body. My flat chest, my small frame, my jawline, my blue eyes, my black wavy hair, my freckles that dot all over my face.

I'm labelled a persecutor because I do harmful things to protect my system. I disagree. I do harmful things because I feel more at home when I have nothing in my body. When I'm covered in scars. When I'm tiny. When I put my wig on and my makeup to look like me. When I wear a mask. I'm home, even just for a little bit.

This world is so sh/t. I hate it. I just wanna go back home to him. To my old life. Where it didn't matter what I did behind closed doors because I was in his arms.

I love my partner here, don't get me wrong he means the world to me. But God it hurts knowing I can never go back to what I had.

I'm so sorry I'm so selfish. I don't deserve good things.

#i need to lose this weight #i wanna be weightless #i wish i was weightless #ana male #male ed #ana trigger #calories #trans ed #tw ana diary #tw did #dissociation #past life

[lifexxxdeath]

#alternative #aesthetic #sadcore #dark aesthetic #red aesthetic #soft grunge #sadgirl #black and white #actually dpdr #i love you #tw unreality #tw did #dpdr tw

[wickedwritingswickedgame]

Charles, is it ever weird seeing Erik with X? X, what about the reverse?

"U-uuh...well, s-sort of, at first. You must underst-tttand, I'm not...I-I mean I've...changed a lot, you know, over the years...a-and put Erik through so much just to accomodate my...my needs now...

"And s-s-ssuddenly, there's this younger, better version of myself in our lives, and even though I-I knew there was more to X than that, obviously, I-I-I lived with him in my head for years but I...I couldn't help worry, you know? X seemed so...mmh...and I'm....

"...aaaaah we...we're alright now though, so there's no--no need to dwell on the p-past. X is f-far more than he app-p-p--seems to be on the surface and I...I've actually learned a lot about myself in help-helping him adjust. It's not easy, you know, f-fending for yourself out in the world. I can't imagine how frightened he was at first..."

@secondchancesmagneto

#wgcharles #v: second chances #a few years later... #Charles babbles because Koalas don't like being under a spotlight #Not that way anyway :'D #wgprofx #ship: cherik #ship: three is not a crowd #me trying to remember my tags #also I guess he's talking for both of them X'D #because it's late and I'm tired #tw did #kinda

[willowwhispersspeakeasy]

Could you tag that anon asking for a did reader with ableist language?(to be clear, the harmful bit was calling it "split personalities" + the "original alter", nothing in your actual post seemed bad, it was just the anon).

not me scrolling through my blog trying to remember which DID post this was abt haha

updated and tagged accordingly. thank you for being so polite anon

#omen speaks #tw did #tw ableist language

[goatlingsvent]

God I just wish people who think that they have DID got proper help. Every person I've met who has claimed that they have DID refuses to get help. I'm not trying to give it a negative stigma, but hey if you have something that you feel like you need to tell every person about it like an STI, I think you should have a support circle that understands mental illness much more than you do, like a psychologist or therapist.

🐷

#tw did #tw #goatlingsvent

[venting-town]

Why tf do I have to be so fucked up bro??? 😂

#vent #tw vent #vent 8/7/22 #I’m not just going around doing all sorts of different tests to self diagnose myself #not to mention that online tests aren’t meant to be taken as an ACTUAL diagnosis #but a lot of things I’ve been discovering about myself such as: #having BPD. having maladaptive daydreaming ( a few others but I can’t focus to remember right now. I know I’ve remembered about my CSA and #COSCA through looking on tumblr ) #but I’m finding I have symptoms in line with DID??? #as I said I’m not PURPOSELY trying to diagnose myself with all this stuff for fuck all #I’m trying to discover more about what’s WRONG with me and #good GOD there’s a shit ton #because why not ig idk???? #tw bpd #maladaptive daydreaming #tw csa #tw cosca #cosca mention #csa mention #tw did #I don’t even know if I HAVE did but I’m going to keep doing research and eventually bring it up to my therapist #and with all the shit going on already ( and with all the shit that’s about to go down ) #I don’t know if it’s even worth mentioning atm #therapist tw #tw therapy

[shitty-goose-quack]

conceal

your doubts

dont feel

dont let them know

dont let them know who you are

dont let them know how dead you feel

be the

funny

chaotic

dumbass

fighter

yelling

dancing

singing

joking

kissing one

i

cant

i can't remember my own name

i can't remember how to feel

i can't remember who to trust, or who i love, or why im here, or how to breathe

breathe

why?

live a life you will remember

then i might as well be dead

every time i stare to space,

another memory gets erased

i don't remember your name

i don't remember we have homework

i don't remember how to play

i don't remember when the book ends

please forgive me i don't remember inej's name

i don't remember mine

please forgive me i can't hear the note

all i hear are my own thoughts

keep the mask on

conceal my thoughts

sing louder than your doubts

tell them who you are but act the way you were

the toddler grows up

the boy wears a bra

the panicked hide their thoughts

the depressed make jokes

how dare quinn care about his grades

how dare blue not like girls

i tell you im straight, you tell me im gross

i tell you im depressed, you tell me you're worse

i tell you im scared, you tell me i wasn't there

i tell you i cant, you tell me im lazy

i tell you im failing, you tell me im not trying

i tell you im sorry, you tell me to stop

i tell you i love them, you tell me im hopeless

i tell you im gross, im lazy, im hopeless, im bad

when im a toddler

whose scared to death of his mom

when im a teen

desperately trying to feel something

when im a character

holding this body together

when im a child

who bites herself until she bleeds

when i am me

i want you

but

i cant tell you

because you'll leave

i cant warn you

you'll abandon us

like everyone did

you love the mask because she's fun

he's everything you've known until now

but we are not the mask

and you can't love us, cause you'll leave

#did poem #original poetry #original poem #tw amnesia #tw did #tw suicide #hinted at but still #tw masking #masking #✨abandonment issues✨ #sgq #poetry #angsty poetry #tw self harm #tw parental abuse #tw parental issues #tw depressing stuff #system #system poem #disociative poem #blue is a stand in for my birthname #masking osdid #osdid system #im part of a system but we're not diagnosed so idk what to tag this #bc like #it hasn't been specified so osdid also feels wrong #poem

[invadermak2016]

I have never once played or known anything about Inscryption (is that how you spell it?) but seeing Lonely Wiz get a cookie fills me with such joy that I might have to take a peek at what it’s about. Basically: if I get Inscryption brainrot because of this blog I’m blaming you for it /joke /positive

The only reason this is colored is to show which side of Mia is currently active (she has DID). I spent way too long on this and didn't even need to reply with a comic, yet it was 100% worth it.

Alternate under cut for those who dare- (it's just Wiz with a mouth, I still don't know if that's considered cursed or not)

That second panel has me smiling like an idiot.

#wiz please take a nap #inscryption lonely wizard #lonely wizard #invader zim oc #irken oc #Mia #ask response #invadermak2016's art #tw DID #just in case #the ask game

[wildbasil]

things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷

#personal #comics #tw abuse #digital art #personal comic #for the record no i don't think my mother loves me #but the idea that she did kept me in an awful situation for a very long time #the number of times people said “she's your mother. she's trying her best. of course she loves you” etc etc #but i don't think “love” and abuse are mutually exclusive #like even if someone DOES love you it doesn't mean it's not abuse and it doesn't mean it's ok #art tag

[lifexxxdeath]

why did you hurt me?

#alternative #aesthetic #sadcore #dark aesthetic #red aesthetic #soft grunge #sadgirl #black and white #actually dpdr #i love you #anti endo #endos dni #actually traumagenic #actually multiple #actually did #tw did #tw self pity #life as multiple

[ruporas]

dragon meat, you, and me

#marcille donato #falin touden #farcille #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #tw blood #tw body horror #tw gore #as a normal farcille fan this revival has been on my mind since i first read it and getting to watch it is like yippee!! #like messy revivals are everything - the consequences that will haunt u for the rest of the time they are alive #the initial hopeful moments where it all seemed well but quickly descend to That not being the case - losing not only the bit of evidence #evidence that your dream may work out but also someone you deeply care about in the process… marcille my Beloved #ofc wholly thruout the journey - at the forefront of it - getting falin back was the most crucial point but so wuickly :(( it was lost #on the other end its crazy to think about the compoments of falin now - human - dragon (dungeon) - marcille’s magic and desperation #the food the crew cooked (digested) - she is made of many parts!! #also i did not realize how medical it feels to draw smth like this. i dont usually explore the inner parts or use a lot of blood #in my work so rendering everything and looking up refs it felt quite magical (?) #ruporas art

[thecorvidforest]

boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”

#corvidforest vent post #i wish ppl would stop acting like it’s some awful traumatizing burden to know us #dissociative identity disorder #did system #osdd #personality disorder #intellectual disability #psychosis #vent #vent post #tw vent

[uncle-jj]

me: I think Gollum is one messed up system. At least he doesn't fake DID.

bilbo baggins: Yeah, I'm going to sacrifice you in the war... Terribly sorry, my dear friend.

#tw did #lord of the rings #everyday life #tw sacrifice #tw war