Cleaning up
pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader
Tw: sh, blood, guilt. Nothing is mentioned graphically except the blood (slightly).
Please to not read this if it might make you relapse! My dms are open if you need to talk <3
AoU Natasha >>>>>
(except the Bruce thing)
“y/n!” Natasha yelled as she rushed to the bathtub. “Baby. Baby, how deep.” Her voice was laced with worry and slight panic. She put her hands on either one of your cheeks, and you could feel them shaking.
“n-not very deep,” you said, and she sighed with relief. Her eyes were flushed with worry and looking at you to confirm your point. You took a towel and started wiping the blood off, but she stopped you and started running the bath water. She changed the temperature from hot to medium-cold, as she knew that was the one that sting your cuts the least. You watched her, admiring her short red hair although it was not what you should be doing at this moment and it was slightly weird, and she rolled her eyes at you playfully when she realized.
Despite the joking that had lightened the mood, her lips were tightly pressed together and her hands still shaking. You wanted to reach out and comfort her, but were afraid of freaking her out as your own hands were covered in your blood.
She turned the tap water off and poured some soap into her hand- you had used it before, it didn’t sting- and started gently rubbing it across your thighs until all of the blood was gone. Then, she washed over everywhere else the blood had gotten, a bit less gently.
When you got out of the tub, you wrapped yourself in a dark- colored towel and sat down on the edge of the tub when you were dry. Per your routine, Natasha bandaged up your legs and put disinfectants on the cuts.
Then the tears started flowing. “I-I’m so sorry, I know I promised, a-and I was almost to fourty days, I-” Natasha hugged you.
“shh, baby, it’s gonna be okay, we can make it back to thirty-six, okay? I know that you’re strong and I know that you can do this, and you can come to me next time you feel like this. Okay?”
You nodded and buried your head in her shirt. She carried you to bed, and the two of you fell asleep, ready to make 36 days again.
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wrist check
let's not talk about this. i'm not hiding anything, but this is insensitive. shame on you.
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Each carve of skin relays a line of flowers on your soul mate.
They always sent me chamomile, always on my left, always in rows of three. Those flowers smelled so calm, and I welcomed them as I would any summers breeze. They looked so small in their thick clusters and yet they never hurt. They never brought pain or tears. None of that.
When I met them. I realized that I sent them magnolias. I remember how, I always drew in lines of three, always on my right. Sending out the sharper tones of a calmer colored flower to them.
I remember the day they send me a full bouquet of those thin white flowers centered with yellow and smelling so calm.
They landed right in my left hand, sprouting from my elbow.
I made sure to send them my own bouquet of off white flowers.
It's how we met one another.
I saw them that day, laying there across from me. The same tired look mirror in my eyes.
I promised them. They would never had to give me chamomile again
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fighting the urge to say “oo i’m good at that game!” whenever i pass the fruit ninja game at an arcade
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I k1ll myself in my head about 15 times a day, why can't at least one of them be real?
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i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh i need to sh
and i need it now
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