#unfortunately. it was not LMAO.

[unsettlingcreature]

*raises my hand* what's the story of the bean burrito girl?

oh god ok so this is a long one with a lot of stupid details. I need it to be known I was 18 and incredibly dense when it came to flirting (still am tbh, you gotta hit me with it like a truck).

it was december. I was hanging out with some friends and since some of them had an hour-long train ride to get home, we usually tried to squeeze as much time out as possible so it's also like 7pm and we are upstairs in the burger king that is no longer there.

the only other group of people there are a group of cosplayers. we're all kind of looking at them and I'm realising now, that my friends were viewing them as cringe whereas I was just curious. one of them, our deuteragonist for this story, was wearing a meulin leijon cosplay. me, a filthy little homestuck, wanted to make friends so I went over to the group and introduced myself, specifically walking up to the meulin cosplayer and saying how I loved her cosplay.

they were all really chill and when my friends said they were going to walk to the train station, I said I'd stay at the BK with these new people and speak to them on skype tomorrow like usual. eventually, the group I'm with starts to also start heading home. but the meulin cosplayer asks if I want to go get a drink and I awkwardly admit I don't have my ID on me. she says it's ok, she could buy a few bottles of drink and we could find somewhere to sit.

EXCEPT ITS FUCKIN DECEMBER AND NEITHER OF US ARE DRESSED TO SIT OUTSIDE AND DRINK AT NIGHT??? at first we try to stand by the heaters in the christmas market but get kicked out because the drinks we had weren't bought from the market itself. then we go to the arcade and sit at the back and get kicked out after about 30 minutes because we're not playing anything. eventually, we end up in a cineworld swapping a bottle of smirnoff ice back and forth.

we finish the drinks and she says how her parents are currently away so I could come over to her house for the night. now, I didn't realise what this implied. I just thought she was being friendly and wanted a sleepover. but I said no, I'd have to go home because my mum was expecting me to come back. BUT we make plans to meet up again for proper drinks next time.

next meet up for drinks, she asks if I've eaten yet and I say that I had but if she's hungry, we could go somewhere. we go to the newly opened taco bell where she orders three bean burritos. I remember this very clearly. she was a little self-conscious about it and I was like, nah, if you're hungry, get them!

we then go to my favourite pub and start drinking. at the time I was still IDing as purely a trans guy and was binding that night but at after a certain amount of drinks, I would always be like Fuck This so I took it off in the bathroom. immediately upon getting back, she is like "I'm so sorry but you have great tits" and I'm like um ok! thanks I guess?

she again says that I can come over to her house, her parents are still not back and she amps up her flirting, probably realising I'm dense as shit, and starts telling me about her collection of sex toys she has. and all along I'm just like haha neat! yeah, I only really have one vibrator, these are normal conversations to have with a new platonic friend! we finish the drinks for the night and I go home, again saying thanks for the sleepover offer but I'm going to just go to sleep in my bed. sorry, I can't bring you with you because my mum and nanna would be pissed. let's meet up again some time!

now, after trying her best to shoot her shot twice, she did not reply to any of my messages afterwards. I think she realised I was too stupid. but I was telling my friend about what happened and all of them were yelling at me that I was stupid and she was flirting/trying to get with me. and me, foolish little me, STILL TRIED INSISTING IT WAS JUST FRIENDLY? good god I was a bit of a dumbass. still am tbh.

sorry random american girl in england that thought you had a chance, if i had realised what was going on it might have been different but knowing how traumatised i was back then, probably it was for the best ✌

#i wish this was the only time I'd ever missed someone directly flirting at me #unfortunately. it was not LMAO. #long post

[jenovacomplete]

what the actual fuck

#speaking! #update: added alt text #and yes this is real. unfortunately(?) #update update: if you can't rb this it's nothing personal #you just post x r/eader lmao #hall of fame

[keymintt]

a comic/zine about coyotes

#art #comic #coyotes #comics #my art #digital #zine #idk what else to tag this if anything #i just think coyotes are so fucking cool and excellent queer symbolism. if you think about it #< he has thought about it so fucking much #shoutout to the handful of ppl who kept me company on stream last night too hehe #sorry if you get a version with typos they should all be corrected by now. i unfortunately have adhd and made this in two days #busted out all the illustrations for this in...one night for phx zine fest lmaO #our group found out two days before we were tabling that we got taken off the waitlist. had fun today tho #greatest hits

[mobius-m-mobius]

it's a fair question 🙃 Lokius Incorrect Quotes [12/∞]

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #for the record they would be VERY indignant about being asked but also unable to give a solid answer for good reason lmao #well lads it's finally time to start coping with the finale in the only way i know how besides angst #which is turning the show into my own personal comedy of errors so unfortunately for everyone it's incorrect quote time again 😂💖 #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #marvel #b-15 #casey #lokius incorrect quotes #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs

[tshortik]

Cryptic visions of space and time...

#essek #essek thelyss #critical role #mighty nein #caleb widogast #this works on its own but it's actually part of a bigger fancomic idea i have #but i still have to figure out if i even want to invest so much time into something like that lmao.. prob not #i already made a concept document for fun and its way too long.. unfortunately i rly like it #i rly believe in the idea tbh i just dont know if its physically possible because i work fulltime LMAO #its a lot of fun tho #here i am 3 years late idk why the essek thoughts bubble out NOW ignore me

[reapersynth]

eddie diaz + text posts

#911 abc #911edit #eddie diaz #eddiediazedit #911 text posts #userknight #usercam #usernolan #.gfx #gif warning #hes so me coded i fear. i just gathered posts i feel deep in my own soul #half of these r from my own about tag LMAO #unfortunately eddie diaz is representation for grouchy gays with depression and anxiety a little too well #now my buck set has a boyfriend <3 love wins

[jonahmagnus]

In world where there are two types of tower-dwellers, a Princess is locked in a tower.

There are two types of tower-people: A Princess, put there to remain pure until marriage or until rescued, and a Wizard, put there by choice to study and learn in isolation. Princesses are defined by their beautiful long hair, and Wizards are defined by their beards and impressive 'stache.

There is a Princess, and she lives in a tower. She was put there recently by her mother and father, to keep her pure and untouched until they can secure the marriage to another kingdom and a prince shes doesn't love. She has long, almost brown sandy-blonde hair, pale green eyes and a slim, tender build. She is not the fairest in the land, but she is tall and pretty. If compared to a rose, she would be the humble yet graceful willow tree, slender and long. She has wanted to be a wizard since a young age, but there is no way for a princess to become a wizard. Princesses are delicate girls to be protected and sold off until their either dead or Queens or have found True Love, unsuited to the life of experimentation and study of a wizard. That is what her mother tells her, in a quiet scolding that is far more forceful and cruel then it has any right to be. And the princess, terrified, believes her.

She used to run the castle halls, stick in hand, robe fashioned out of a delicate silk bedsheet, shouting fake spells at birds while her servants chased her. But as she grew older, her restraints became tighter, and more and more often, she was confined in her room to embroider in solitude with barely the comfort of a window or a maid. The life she is forced into makes her hang her head low, makes her hands be paper-soft, and demands her hair be long and beautiful and perfect like all other princesses. The world she longed to be a part of was a world of study and experimentation, and as the kingdoms princess and tool, she could not even dare to hint at her desires into adulthood. She could become a witch, she knew, flee the castle barefoot and sink into the loving embrace of the swamp. But witches don’t live in towers, and they make potions instead of spells, and they don’t grow the flowing whimsical beards that wizards do.

But that does not mean she has to be bored in her tower. Fascinated by magic as she always has been, she arranges with a long string of bribes for books on spells and forbidden potions to be smuggled along with her meals. She studies them while the clock ticks down for either a prince to arrive or her marriage to be finalized. Either one will doom her, and she wants to enjoy herself as much as possible until her marriage. She pours over the books long into the night by candlelight, and all day, she rests her pale, tired eyes. She experiments, and she reads, and she studies non-stop, barely stopping for meals and littering her books with an assortment of food stains. She cuts off her hair to use in bubbling gold potions, her skin becomes scarred with a rainbow of the consequences of failed experiments, and her dresses turn into makeshift cheesecloths and fire-fuel. She washes late into the night after she is done with her work for the day in the darkness, not glancing into the mirror that has become cracked and dusty. When her eyesight starts to fail from strain and working in darkness, she fashions for herself bottle-round glasses, blown by herself in the depths of her tower. Engrossed as she is in her studies, she does not notice the tower warp, and the meals stop rotting, and how she started out in one circular room but now has a loft and a second floor and the fact that the tower seems much much taller then it was originally.

What she DOES notice though, is when brushing crumbs from her face she feels facial hair on her upper lip.

She rushes to the bathroom and thrusts a candle into the holder as she looks at herself. In the dusty mirror, she sees the beginnings of a bushy mustache sit on her upper lip, much further along in growth then be logically possible without her noticing. It’s a pale blonde, like her hair, and she notices faintly that there are streaks of grey in it, a very familiar shade of classic wizard grey. She brings a trembling hand to her upper lip.

Much, much later, a prince rides up to the tower. It is tall, and warped, and very clearly belonging to a wizard, despite the royal family claiming their daughter lives here.

He shouts up, a bit nervous because of the thorny vines wrapping the beautiful stonework.

“Hey! Does a Princess live here?”

A young man with large bottle glasses and a rather impressive mustache leans out of the tower, his short, sandy-blonde hair spilling lightly in the wind. He starts to say something, then glances back into his house. A smile breaks out on his face as he seems to realize something.

“No!” He shouts back, after a moments hesitation. “But a wizard does!”

#Stories #original writing #Creative writing #Wizards #Wizard #Princess #Spells #Transgender #<- In case. U couldnt tell? #Trans #my unfortunate writing #Hihihi #Im gonna be drawing the characters later LMAO <3 Here u go babes #worldbuilding #<- Sorta ig? Anways reblog this post #For thise who cant tell: Princess gets locked in a tower -> starts studying wizardry -> wizard by will #APAB (assigned princess at birth) #wizard tower #Original fiction #creative fiction #The Wizard #PLEASE RB THIS VERSION #.

[kimtaegis]

A Taegi Series, pt. 7: personal space ❌ being attached at the hip ✅

cr. namuspromised, jung-koook, 0613data

#btsgif #dailybts #btsedit #bts #bangtan #taegi #yoongi #taehyung #tuserandi #usersky #usermaggie #usersan #userkelli #raplineuser #*yg #*th #*taegi #*youarehome #*comp #*gifs #been a while! I miss my babies #taehyung to yoongi's personal space: I'm just gonna scooch in right here if you don't mind #if you miss a moment then it's probably planned to be in a different part (and I didn't want to make it so long) #also as supposed to some that seem to be missing these are all (somewhat) consensual lmao #looks ugly unfortunately the clips have too many different colours

[cinnamonsikwate]

chilchuck spends the entirety of his daughters' visit hovering suspiciously between them and a certain dwarf. when it's time for the girls to go home and no proposals have been made, he breathes a sigh of relief — awkward coworker x family member romance route narrowly avoided!

a couple weeks later meijack shows back up unannounced, backpack laden with tools and thigh-high boots looking uncharacteristically spiffy. bewildered and betrayed, chilchuck rounds on a clueless senshi, only freezing mid-swear when meijack interrupts to ask after namari's whereabouts.

the last thing he remembers thinking is, "shit, i forgot about the other dwarf!" before promptly blacking out.

#dungeon meshi #jumping on the 'putting this man in situations' bandwagon #chilchuck tims #meijack chils #namari #will meijack be luckier in love than her father? #this idea came to me like a bolt out of the blue #unfortunately meijack is not namari's type but we'll work with what we have! #rip chilchuck's liver #he can't even go out w his usual drinking buddy bc drinking buddy in question is now the object of his daughter's affections #is namari even aware of what's happening lmao #don't take this too seriously lol #meijack can have a little crush as a treat #calemonsito notes

[soriastrider]

this has almost certainly been done before, but i think it's funny so i did it anyway

original:

#dirkjake #dirk strider #jake english #homestuck #my art #i drew this right on top of the meme in an effort to make this quick and easy. which was a complete failure #i spent way too long on this and still failed at anatomy lmao #oh well #anyway. dirkjake #thought about making it jake's ass in the last panel but i decided i didnt wanna try to draw ass lol #also it would've been much harder to convey the inherent dumbass boyfriend energy that was the whole point of this #if jake's smug little face wasn't visible #he is expertly restraining giggles #I also had to rotate dirk in the last panel bc the original angle was just not working no matter how many times I tried to fix it #unfortunately anatomy hates me #bg image is from hs p4221

[telekitnetic-art]

🐉🪵 happy lunar new year! 🌘🐉

have a wood dragon formline that became an impulse color design assignment for class. Also did two variations of gold texture because I wasn't sure which one I liked better.

#wood dragon #dragon #lunar new year #year of the dragon #dragon art #formline art #indigenous art #telekitnetic art #playing fast and loose with my teacher's assignment specifications lmao. i will update this post if i get chewed out by him #anyway happy lunar new year to all who celebrate!! #unfortunately it is abysmal weather so I won't be going to the local celebrations.

[castielsprostate]

hey americans, please fucking vote this year! thanks!

signed,

the rest of the world

#if you do not fucking vote we will ALL FUCKING DIE #like i am NOT kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we will fucking die #i don't care if you don't agree with biden shut the fuck up and keep that orange clown piece of shit out of office #ukraine will fall. isreal will be funded to continue the genocide. #like are you fucking serious? genocide joe against trump's rain of terror? if you do not vote blue you will not have fucking rights lmao #he will try to change the constitution “oh it won't actually go through”. are you fucking insane???? ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE????? #unfortunately your stupid fucking president has the power to destroy everything. we ALL don't want that but! unfortunately! it's true! #so shut the fuck up and fucking vote blue or choose to fucking die #this goes so much further than the vapid americans think. this impacts literally all of us. ALL. OF. US. #*reign #like y'all actually think not voting will help.. anything? except give power to the already alt right govts? #this is literally what they want

[rat-poison-condiment]

Going insane about this;

In the English dub/subtitles, when Chilchuck learns of Laios spilling the beans he asks himself if he should have followed him instead...

in FRENCH he says something like 'I must have missed/did something wrong in his education'

DADCHUCK DADCHUCK DADCHUCK DADCHUCK

#dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #dungeon meshi #mine #chilchuck #chilchuk tims #french chilchuck my beloved #every member of this stupid party sees the others as children except for Laios lmao #anyway this is objectively way funnier unfortunately the french won this one #dunmeshi

[neverevan]

can't stop thinking about how that whole situation must've been bonkers from Tommy's pov

like, there is this dude so imprinted on you that he hangs out with you 3 days a week, while you both have differing schedules and do 24-hour shifts — oh and supposedly he also has a girlfriend.

and then his boy best friend asks you for a tour at your station and flirts with you, and then he shows up anywhere where he can get you and ends up bodyclocking his bestie like a preteen boy, which you'd think was to punish him, but you later find out that it was a subconscious attempt to get him out of the competition.

that's not mentioning the fact that the guy imprinted on you also introduced you to his son, who is incredibly fond of the other guy and won't shut up about him.

and then you worry that you came between these two friends, so you go see the one who is clearly more upset, to reassure him that's not what's happening, only to find out that he was actually crushing on you this whole time and he is also just realising this as he's telling it to you.

can you imagine the spin all that gave to Tommy's head??

#like poor guy finding himself in the middle of the storm that is carefree eddie and juvenile upset buck lmao #baby was so confused about his feelings he regressed back to middle school #and i say this because he and i are the same and i would've done the same exact thing #unfortunately #tommy kinard #bucktommy #911 #911 abc #911 s7 #ramblings #my stuff

[marsipain]

Did a linocut of Gabriel!!

first one is the digital sketch, second is the linocut on paper and third is on a tshirt

(i had to repaint over the t-shirt one bc i was stupid and used normal fabric paint instead of linocut fabric paint, thats why it looks a bit different🧍‍♂️)

#THIS WAS MY FIRST LINOCUT so i did nott get the amount of detail i wanted unfortunately #also did not use any stencil or transferal stuff #kinda just… redraw ir on the linoleqm plate with a ballpoint pen #lmao #gabriel #ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #ultrakill fanart #gabriel fanart #gabriel ultrakill fanart #ultrakill gabriel #marsipain art #marsikill #eyestrain #tw eyestrain #eyestrain tw #bright colors #eyestrain warning #// eyestrain #eyestrain //

[sunlit-mess]

I can only take so much, but lately, they have replaced my reflection. And realize I'm just as bad as them.

#messyr #doodle #vent art #idk what im feeling but im just really tired- pessimistic and agitated lately #overthinking stuff about growth as a person LMAO. Envy that builds inferiority then dissolves into insecurity ew #ive yet to accept the truth that it will never get better- so i can only be there for others until i watch them go. #And I walk back to the same cage where I grew- bc the cage is all I know. I'd watch from afar and wait- wait for what? Idk #Genuinely happy and proud to those who worked hard for that success-- an ugly thought whispers to me thinking why cant I have the same #well- people w the same situations as me- knows how unfair life is so we work twice as hard. but sometimes... It's-- not enough. #And to an unfortunate fate- it'll never be enough. and it feels as if you amount to nothing. #I've been stuck for so long- I'm convinced enough that I cannot be helped. Still I cling onto the tiniest spark of hope. #bpd #abuse mention