#unsettling aes

[hauntedwoman]

it's time for haunted girl spring

#my favorite time of year <3 #besides unsettling girl summer #moodboard #aes

[sacredarchive]

#liminal #liminality #liminal space #liminal spaces #liminal reality #aes #aesthetic #dark #dark aesthetic #abandoned #eerie #unsettling #doomed #strangecore #voidcore #uncanny #explorepage #explore #fyp #aesthetic pictures #fypage #sacredarchive

[whitedarkmoonflower]

Power

Pairing: Masema x reader (female)

Authors note: it is a very belated birthday present to @lady-targaryens-world Thank you so much for your request and I'm so sorry it took me so long to write it. I changed a bit the setting, but I still hope you will enjoy it. It appeared that writing Masema is not so easy for me, but I truly loved it. A big thank you to lovely @the-irish-girl for helping me with brainstorming, ideas and dialogues! It was so inspiring to work together with you! The idea of the other world and the stones is borrowed from the books.

Warnings: SMUT 18+, oral (f receiving), p in v sex

Word Count: 5,6 K

I have tagged people who enjoy my Sihtric fics - if you don't want to be tagged in Masema fics - please let me know

You shifted in your saddle trying to find a more comfortable position, but to no avail. Your whole body was aching and sore, your muscles feeling like they were filled with lead. The shadows were getting longer, as the sun slowly rolled behind the horizon. The evening was approaching and you longed for nothing more than to rest, to get off the horseback and curl under your blanket. With the last remnants of your strength you spurred your horse to a slight gallop, trying to align with Lord Ingtar, riding at the front of the group.  

“Aren’t we stopping for the night?” you tried to sound casual, not to betray your tiredness. 

"There, behind that hill, is a perfect spot for our camp,"  Lord Ingtar's response filled you with hope as he pointed towards the next hillock. Unconsciously, you sighed in relief. It wouldn't have surprised you if they intended to ride through the night; there was no sign of weariness on the stern faces of the Shienaran warriors following their leader. It seemed they could maintain this relentless pursuit indefinitely. 

With a knowing smirk, he added, "The horses need a rest."

Yeah, horses, you nodded inwardly and allowed your own steed to gradually slow down again.

You had to pick the lesser of two evils, as the need to escape the city had grown urgent. Fal Moran was no longer a safe haven for you, not since it had become overrun with Aes Sedai. It was only a matter of time before they discovered your well-kept secret, and you would be forced to follow them to the White Tower. You were not like them and you didn't want to be anything like them. Arrogant, cold-blooded, and heartless, they were driven by their might and a belief in their own omniscience. These cruel beings wielded too much power for their own good.

You had made up your mind to join the first party leaving the city, even if it meant travelling across the country in pursuit of the Horn of Valere. You were aware that they wouldn't readily accept you as a companion if you simply asked, but the Shienarans were known for their unwavering commitment to helping and protecting those in need. That was their way. Thus, you departed ahead of the group and waited along the road—an abandoned high-born lady, seeking assistance. A damsel in distress, to put it plainly.

Once again, you felt the unsettling sensation of someone's eyes fixated on you. Slowly and discreetly, you turned your head to meet his gaze. His stern eyes bore into you with mistrust and suspicion, tinged with a hint of resentment for reasons unknown to you.

"Have I done something wrong?" you asked, turning to face Lord Ingtar as you settled beside him near the fire.

"What do you mean, lady?" The surprise in his voice was evident.

"I have a feeling I may have upset or offended the young warrior with those peculiar mismatched eyes. I believe his name is Masema," you continued hesitantly. "I just wanted to know if I may have overstepped or said something unacceptable. I'm not accustomed to your ways, and I want to offer my apologies if..."

"Lady, you need not worry," Lord Ingtar interrupted gently. "I'm sorry to say this, but there's probably nothing you can do about it. You... I'm not quite sure how to explain it... you bear a striking resemblance to an Aiel to us. Not all of us have fought against them, but Masema has."

The awkwardness of the conversation and the embarrassment in Lord Ingtar’s voice were impossible to ignore. "Lady, you are not to blame for your appearance. Please, tell me if Masema has been rude to you or insulted you in any way. Trust me, I'll ensure a proper punishment is meted out."

"Oh, not that. He's simply avoiding me completely, and he refuses to speak to me even when I address him. Please, don't say anything to him. You've been so kind to pick me up on the road and offer your protection after my bodyguard abandoned me unfairly. I don't want to cause any inconvenience," you said, trying to mask your relief with gratitude. You were thankful that your initial fear, the creeping worry that Masema might have somehow discovered your deeply buried secret, was unfounded.

Unable to resist, you stole a furtive glance at Masema. He'd set up his blanket near one of the towering stones encircling the camp. It was an eerie sight; the magnificent stones, arranged as if by a giant hand, stood in a perfect circle. You had never seen anything like it before. Was it some kind of sacred place? Perhaps remnants of a forgotten temple? The strange ornaments engraved in the middle, just within reach, sparked a sense of familiarity you couldn't grasp. The whole setting gave you a weird feeling you couldn't quite place.

The warmth of the hot brew shared around the fireplace enveloped you, soothing your aching joints and beckoning for rest. You spread your blanket on the opposite side of the camp, as far as possible from the grim warrior that apparently hated you for just being you.

It wasn't surprising; you were accustomed to it. People had feared and hated you for as long as you could remember. You recalled being just a small girl when it first happened, playing with the other kids of the village at the foot of the nearby hill.

It was the noise that first caught your attention—a scratchy, unpleasant sound of something rubbing against itself. Then, you saw it—a large stone slowly starting to shake and then loosening from its perch at the top. You remember screaming, shouting for everyone to run, but one of the boys stumbled and fell. Time seemed to stand still for a moment; you acted on instinct, reaching out with your hand in a stupid and desperate wish to stop the stone from crashing onto your friend. And miraculously, it stopped. It remained suspended in mid-air, just above the fallen boy, as if held by a magic hand.

He scrambled to his feet and ran, and they all followed suit, casting fearful glances back at you as you lowered your hand and the stone crashed to the ground with a deafening thud. Even now, when recalling that day, you could still feel the absolute terror in their eyes. Not because they had just escaped death, no, they were terrified of you. 

That night, the elders of the village came to your parents, and by the same nightfall, they hurriedly packed all their belongings, and you left. You left your home, your village, your friends—everything. And ever since then, you've been running. There was something within you, a power you didn’t understand and never wanted to possess. It was only much later, as you became a grown woman, that you found out there were others like you - the Aes Sedai. But the way people spoke about them, the tales they told, and the fear they instilled just reinforced your conviction that your power had to remain secret, hidden until you took it with you to the grave.

You sank down onto your blanket, wrapping another around you, leaning your back against the stone behind you. Your eyes unconsciously wandered again to the stern warrior on the other side of the camp.

Why? By the light, why me? were your last conscious thoughts before sleep took over.

You were in that sweet spot between asleep and awake, still wrapped in the cosy embrace of dreams when the sounds of the outside world started creeping in, signalling the start of a new day. You kept your eyes shut, not quite ready to let go of that blissful moment just yet.

“Where are we?” came a voice, dripping with anger. It sounded oddly familiar, but you couldn't quite place it.

Masema. The name jolted through your mind, instantly dispelling the dreamy fog. You snapped awake, finding Masema towering over you. You scrambled to a sitting position, taking in your surroundings with a mix of awe and confusion.

“I-I don't know,” you stammered, just as confused as he was, if not more so.

Moments ago, you had been lying on the ground with all your companions, and now you were... wherever this place was. It was unlike anything you had ever seen before.

You were still seated among the magnificent stones, where the camp had been, but that was where the similarities ended. The place bore no resemblance to where you had fallen asleep. You vividly recalled the stones positioned in a clearing near the woods, surrounded by untouched, lush grass and the scent of nameless wildflowers lingering in the air. Now, as far as your eyes could see, there was nothing but barren, cracked soil, with withered trees sporadically dotting the landscape. The hot air and dust burned your lungs as you struggled to take a deep breath.

“This is all your fault!” Masema's words snapped you back to reality, his eyes dark with anger. “You brought us here, now bring us back!” he demanded.

“And, why would it be my fault? You’re here, too! You might be the one responsible for this, you know?” you spat at him, your words filled with venom to match his.

It was only then that the absurdity of the situation began to sink in, and panic slowly crept over you. What had happened? Where were you? And of all the people you could have ended up with, why did it have to be Masema, the Shienaran warrior who clearly despised you, stranded with you in this desolate wasteland?

"I knew from the very first sight of you that you couldn't be trusted," Masema's voice, cold and calm, sent shivers down your spine, more chilling than any insult he could hurl in anger.

“What did I do, for you to hate me so much?” you knew it was not the right time nor place for this question, there were much more pressing issues to be cleared, but you couldn’t just leave it. 

“You look just like them! You speak like them! You walk like them! Everything you do makes you look a little more like them! And sooner or later you’ll show who you really are, you cannot fool me,” he snorted.

"Like who? The Aiel? You flatter me. I would give much to be like them, to possess their strength, their ability to defend themselves against prejudice-driven fools who judge solely based on appearance," anger simmered within you.

“You don’t know me!” you finally shouted. “You did not even give me a chance to prove my worth, you just judge me straight away because you think you are better than anyone else, you think you know better than anyone else. But you know nothing about me.” The last words were punctuated by a pointed index finger jabbing into his chest, your eyebrows furrowed with anger.

Finally, you took one more step forward until you were face to face, sharing the same air. You stared him straight in the eyes, letting him see the pain his words inflicted.

“I don't deserve your hatred! You don’t know me, so stop pretending like you do!”

Without waiting for a response, you swiftly began to pack your blankets into your saddlebag.

"You know what? I'm done with all of this! We're parting ways! You go one direction, and I'll go the other! Good luck!" you hissed in frustration. The overwhelming need to escape from this place, to evade the stern, judgmental gaze of those peculiar eyes, left no room for any other thought. You didn’t give him a chance to reply; you didn’t even want one. With that, you turned your back on him, slung your saddlebag over your shoulder, and strode away, devoid of any plan or destination.

You had no idea how long you had aimlessly wandered before spotting a small stream, a mirage of life amidst the ash-grey desolation. Hastily, you uncapped your leather flask, filling it with the precious, life-giving water.

Leaving Masema behind had undoubtedly been a mistake, but there was no turning back now. You couldn't simply reappear before him and offer apologies. You couldn’t admit he was actually right.

It must have been you. There was no other explanation, no other possibility. Even though you had no inkling of what triggered this or how you managed it. Lost in your thoughts, you watched the stream bubble, abruptly pulled from your reverie by an angry roar nearby.

Your head snapped up, pupils dilating in terror at the sight of the creature looming closer. Not even your worst nightmares could conjure something like this. Towering on massive, muscular hind legs, its leonine body was covered in mottled, algae-green scales, with a broad, frog-like head boasting bulging, lidless eyes gleaming with eerie intelligence and a ring of sharp, serrated teeth.

Your hand instinctively sought the small knife hidden in your clothes, fingers clenching around its shaft until your knuckles whitened. Being intended as this creature's next meal wasn't the destiny you envisioned, but you were resolved to make your life as costly as possible.

In a heartbeat, a strong arm gripped yours, yanking you aside with incredible force as the creature lunged. Your bewildered gaze fell on Masema, wielding his sword with determined precision. It was an uneven fight, the creature dwarfing the agile warrior and its scales seemingly impenetrable to his blade.

"The eyes, they're unprotected! Aim for its eyes!" you shouted and the beast's attention momentarily  turned towards you. In that very same moment Masema seized the chance, leaping and aiming for the creature's head. The blade sliced through its left eye, eliciting a deafening howl that pierced the air.

Your chest heaved with horror as you witnessed the creature falter, collapsing onto its front paws before slumping to the ground. Unstoppable sobs wracked your body as you sank to your knees, horror consuming you, and strong arms encircled your shoulders, preventing you from collapsing to the ground.

"I'm sorry," you muttered, arms wrapped around your legs as you sat on your blanket spread by the fire Masema had made in the middle of the stone circle. "You're probably right. It's my fault we're stuck here, don't know where."

A furrowed eyebrow was the only indication that Masema was paying attention, engrossed in sharpening his sword, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

"It's not the first time strange things have happened to me," you continued, feeling like there was nothing left to lose. You knew he hated you—could he hate you even more? Did it even matter? The landscape stretched before you, empty and dusty. Having the glorious choice between death from hunger or the claws of that creature—definitely not the last of its kind—you preferred the more swift one, or better yet, the quick, soothing death by Masema’s sword seemed actually the most appealing choice. 

"There's something inside me, and it frightens me," you confessed. "It's like I have access to a pool of unlimited power, but every time I try to grasp it, it slips away. And then, sometimes, when I least expect it, I can feel it in my fingertips. It's so tangible, I could almost touch it."

"What kind of strange things?" Masema inquired nonchalantly, as if asking about your breakfast.

"I've made rocks freeze in the air, ignited things, moved objects without touching them," you said, trying to keep your voice casual, but unable to hide the tremor of anxiety. You had never spoken to anyone about it, and now you were revealing your deepest secret to someone who was almost an enemy. Yes, he had saved your life, but it hadn't seemed to change his attitude toward you.

"I never wanted it, never asked for it! It's a curse," you admitted, resting your head on your knees. Your body shivered, not from the cold, but from the anger and despair boiling within you. "And now I've cursed you too."

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't even notice Masema approaching until his hand landed on your shoulder, startling you as he sat down beside you.

"I knew you were trouble from the first moment I saw you," there was a new, unexpected tone in his voice that made you raise your head. Something in Masema's eyes caused a chill to run down your back and the flickering red light from the fire only intensified the hypnotic effect of his stern gaze.

"I didn’t mean any harm to anybody. I’m so sorry. You have every right to hate me," tears welled up in your eyes.

"Hush," Masema's rough fingers gently cupped your chin, his thumb brushing away the tears gathered in the corners of your eyes. "There is such a fire within you. I can feel it. I could see it in your eyes as you faced that creature. A spirit so daring, so brave, captured in such a small and fragile frame."

A soft gasp of surprise escaped your chest as Masema's lips pressed against yours, his palms cradling your face and drawing you close. Your mind raced, torn between eagerness and bewilderment. You placed your palm on his chest, as if to push him away, but instead, your fingers hooked into Masema's leather armour, pulling him closer.

Wasn’t this what you had yearned for all this time, tormented by his inexplicable rejection? Hadn't you dreamed of feeling these strong arms wrap around you, pulling you close? Or was it the desperation of this hopeless situation that made you cling to his broad chest, seeking the warmth of his body as confirmation that you were still alive? You didn’t care. Thrill and arousal running through your veins, you could only moan against his lips, slowly parting yours to welcome him into your mouth.

"I've been craving this since the moment I laid eyes on you. Whatever power brought us here, away from everybody, I'm grateful for it," Masema's husky voice enveloped you, sending shivers down your spine. His hand found its way to the back of your neck, holding you in place as his mouth trailed down to your neck, leaving hot, stinging marks on your sensitive skin.

You whimpered at the stirring sensation, your longing for his touch growing into a burning need, overpowering all your other senses. In the next moment, you found yourself pressed onto your back, the thick, soft blanket barely enough to shield you from the hard ground, Masema looming over you.

"You resemble the fiercest enemy I've ever faced, yet you make my blood boil with desire," your breath caught in your throat as Masema's rough fingers wrapped around your wrists, pinning your hands above your head. There was something threatening, something inexplicably alluring in the sinister darkness of his lust-drunk eyes as they locked with yours. You met his gaze head-on, your eyes wide open, chest heaving, and teeth grazing along your lower lip in anticipation of his next move.

Masema leaned in, his lips hovering over yours, “Say it, say that you want me,” his eyes scanned you intently. 

“By the light, I want you,” you breathed, rolling your hips against him like a slut and the throaty groan that left his lips upon your words, made you shiver. His mouth found yours and your breath was swept away from the sheer fury of his kiss while his hands let go of your wrists and began to work on your clothes, freeing your breasts from the confines of your corset, squeezing and kneading them, his rough fingers digging deep into your flesh. 

Your eyes were rolling back into your head from his heated touch and you arched your back against the unforgiving hard ground as Masema’s lips closed around your hardened nipples.  The small rocks beneath the blanket were digging into your shoulders and hips, but you didn’t even feel the sting, everything around you slowly fading until there was nothing apart from deep hunger for more, burning you from within.

“You think you have power? You are under my power, sweet little thing, you could be the Dragon himself, but you could do nothing against my power and I will use it to make you forget everything as you scream my name in pleasure,” the raw force, permeating Masema’s words, although whispered in hushed tones, made all the tiny hair on your skin stand on end. His hands were on your hips, pushing up your dress and pulling down your undergarments with hasty, rough movements. You drew a sharp breath, feeling the cool air on your bare dripping cunt just before Masemas hot tongue dived in between your folds, his lips closing around your pulsing clit, hands pinning your hips to the ground. 

“Light help me,��� you wined, burying your fingers into the soft and plush fabric beneath you in a desperate attempt to ground yourself, but to no avail as Masema’s lips and tongue kept driving you closer to madness, lewd moans rolling over your lips.

“It can’t help you. Nothing can help you now, you’re mine and only mine,” Masema grinned against your centre, voice husky and deep, dripping with dark possessiveness that only added to the sinful sensation pulsing through your veins and bringing you closer to the edge, and you gasped loudly as he forced two fingers into you. You felt as if you were flying or maybe falling, you couldn’t tell, too lost in the feeling of your climax approaching, each lap of his tongue, each movement of his fingers amplifying the pleasure and pushing you further into oblivion.

“Say it, to whom do you belong?” Masema groaned, speeding up his movements. 

Was this what had attracted you to the stern and silent warrior from the very first day? His whole presence spoke of strength and assertiveness, of power and ownership, of being someone to take what’s his and never letting go of it, defending it with his life if needed. Tired of loneliness you craved for the soothing feeling of belonging to someone. It was intoxicating, almost addicting – that feeling of having found someone ready to claim you, to possess you, to protect you. You wanted to be his, you were his. 

“Yours, Masema, I’m yours. By the light I’m yours,” you moaned, and Masema’s satisfied growl vibrated against your centre, adding the last touch that brought you over the edge. You came on his fingers, whimpering his name, forgetting where you were or who you were as your body convulsed under the waves of pure bliss running through your veins. 

“Such a good girl, my powerful, secret Aes Sedai, my dragon,” Masema grinned, observing you carefully, as he kept fucking you with his fingers through your orgasm, “so beautiful, so tight around my fingers. I can already imagine how good you will feel around my cock.” 

Head spinning from the intensity of your orgasm, you breathed heavily, chest rising high with each inhale.  Eyes half lid you watched Masema pulling off his leathers and undoing his breeches. You had always noted Masema's well-built physique, his muscular arms hinted at beneath his armour. However, the sight of his perfectly sculpted upper body, revealed before your eyes, made you swallow hard. Even more so as your eyes landed on his thick, fully hard cock ready to claim you. You yelped as Masema grabbed you by your hips and flipped over on your stomach in one quick motion.

“I’m not done with you yet, my sweet little dragon,” he whispered into your ear, pushing your dress up your ass and pulling you to your knees. You whimpered as his large, rough palms landed on your buttock, spreading your cheeks.

“Perfect, so perfect,” Masema grunted, teasing your entrance with his finger. You moaned and pushed back into his touch. “Patience, beautiful,” he chuckled, “trust me, I know exactly what you need, and I’ll give it to you.” 

A muffled cry escaped your lips as Masema’s hand reached out, grabbing your hair, and pulled you up back flush against his chest. His left hand fingers wrapped around your throat, squeezing it slightly, just enough to pull a soft whine from you.

“I’ll give it to you, if you’ll ask me nicely,” Masema’s breath hot against your neck made shivers go down your spine or were it his words and hoarse, lust drunken voice? You couldn’t tell, you didn’t care, you were unable to think straight your mind swept clear from any other thought apart from the need to have him finally inside you, to feel him use you, to fuck you into madness.

“Please,” you gasped, your breath getting more ragged with each passing moment.

“Please, what?” Masema whispered, his left hand still around your throat, the other squeezing your breast, fingers rubbing your hardened nipple.

“Please, fuck me. Take me,” a deep moan rolled over your lips as Masema pressed you down and pushed his hard length into your tightness with a loud groan. He paused for a moment, savouring the feeling of your walls squeezing around him and taking him in.

“So sweet, so bold and dearing and yet so obedient, and so fucking tight, you are a gift of the Creator himself,” Masema hummed, as he pulled out and slammed back into you, making you moan and gasp as his pace was picking up. He was not gentle, not in the way his fingers dug into your flesh, to keep you in place, not in the way his hips snapped against you, as he forced himself deeper and deeper into you with each thrust, not in the way his hand found its way to you hair again, jerking you up against his chest, making you cry out both in pain and pleasure simultaneously. 

Your eyes were rolling back into your head, breath catching in your chest, as Masema fucked you relentlessly, mercilessly, his groans filling your ears, and your body responded to his every touch, every rough thrust. Nobody had ever desired you so carnally, so intensively, his hold on you so primal and possessive, determined to bring you to the highs of pleasure you had never experienced before, driving you mad and pushing you higher and higher.

“More, by the light, Masema, I need more,” you mewled and the wild growl that ripped through Masema left you grinning as he pushed you back down to the blanket, seized your hips in an iron grip, you were sure to leave bruises and marks in your soft flesh, and fastened his pace.

You tried to muffle your moans with your hand, but Masema was quick to grab it and pull your arm behind your back.

“Don’t be shy, my sweet dragon, there is nobody who could hear you in this cursed world you’ve brought us to,” he chuckled, “I want to hear you, I want to hear how much you enjoy my cock.”

You didn’t answer, unable to make any coherent word, your voice trapped in the depths of your throat, but the wanton sounds rolling over your lips were the only response he needed as he kept pounding into you, fucking you breathless. 

You could feel Masema’s movements getting sloppier, his heavy breathing turning into hoarse, rugged panting, and you clawed your fingernails forcefully in the blanket, closing your eyes as Masema let go of your arm and reached between your thighs, his fingers rubbing your pulsing clit, giving you the last push you needed to fall again into oblivion. The climax shot through your body with the force of a lightning, your limbs trembling as you screamed Masemas name into the black void around you. You would have collapsed from the intensity of your orgasm washing over you, if not for Masema’s hands holding your hips tightly as he kept fucking you through your peak, loud groans leaving his lips as he came just moments later, his cock twitching inside you and filling you with his warm seed. 

You slumped down onto the blanket the moment Masema’s hands let go of you and he followed you crushing down beside you, both panting hard. You didn’t expect that, but Masema’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you flush to his chest as his lips planted tender kisses on the top of your head.

"You didn't believe me," you whispered between panting breaths. 

"Oh, I believe you. More importantly, I believe in you. You brought us here, and you'll bring us back. I have no doubts about it, my little dragon," he whispered, nuzzling against your hair.

“Wake up,” Masema rattled your shoulder, tearing you away from the sweet world of dreams.

“Just one last moment,” you muttered without opening your eyes, your arms reaching out, seeking the warmth of his body.

“There's no time. Wake up! They're approaching,” the urgency in Masema's voice jolted you from your slumber.

“Who's approaching?” you asked, your eyes fluttering wide open.

“I would rather ask what is approaching,” Masema chuckled. “Can't you hear it?”

The wild roar that tore through the air made you jump to your feet.

“What was that?” you asked, fear etched on your face.

“I think it might be some friends of our yesterday's acquaintance,” Masema chuckled, “And they are coming in company. Sweetie, it's time to go home,” his gaze slid expectantly over you.

“What? But I can’t. Masema, I have no idea how,” you sobbed.

“Listen to me. I've been thinking about what you told me. Do you know what the locals call these stones?”

“No,” you shivered, listening to the sounds of wild roars and feeling the earth trembling beneath your feet.

“Obanda stones. Obanda means 'door' in the old tongue. This must be how you got us here—through the stones. And this is how you can bring us back.”

“Masema, it's insane. I have no idea how to do that,” desperation laced your voice.

Masema's fingers brushed against your cheeks, and he cupped your chin to raise your head.

“I'm here to protect you. Whatever comes. I don't care who you are. I don't care what power you wield. I will protect you, always,” the certainty in his voice, devoid of doubt or hesitation,  sent a shiver down your spine.

"Look at me," he commanded, and as if drawn by an irresistible force, you raised your gaze to meet his eyes.

"Give me your hand," he continued, and you complied, raising your arm. You flinched as Masema's large, rough palm wrapped around your fingers, squeezing them painfully. "I'm here with you. Hold on to me. I believe in you. You brought us here, you’ll bring us back. You can do it," he reassured, his other arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you tightly against his muscular body.

"Now, I want you to put your hand on the stone," he breathed against your ear. The calmness and certainty in his voice were hypnotising, leaving no room for doubt. The howling and growling around you grew closer as the beasts encircled you. Your heart raced in your chest, as panic and fear enveloped you. 

"I can’t do it! Masema, I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault. I never learned to use it properly. I don’t know how to do it," words tumbled from your lips in an unstoppable rush, your body shaking uncontrollably. You had brought this doom upon both of you. Your ignorance, your unwillingness to embrace the power bestowed upon you had led you here, and it would be the death of you both. "I can’t do it. I’m so sorry, Masema," tears rolled down your cheeks.

There was no point in trying, all you wanted was to turn around, to gaze into his mismatched eyes, to melt into his embrace, bury your nose into his chest, and breathe in his scent for the one last time. But Masema’s firm grip on your waist prevented you from doing so.

“I can’t,” you sobbed, leaning heavily against him as your knees grew weak and wobbly, “I just can’t do it.”

“Raise your hand,” Masema ordered, squeezing your fingers again. The pain jolted through your body, sharpening your hazy mind. There was something in his voice that brooked no disobedience. Despite your reluctance, despite having already given up and resigned yourself to the approaching death, you obeyed. You raised your quivering hand, reaching out almost to touch the cold surface. A piercing howl echoed just behind you, and you froze, your palm mere millimetres from the stone.

"Don’t look back. Close your eyes and listen to me," Masema's voice remained steady, unwavering. It washed over your senses like a waterfall—soft, low, and slightly husky, yet remarkably calm and soothing. Even his breath maintained a steady rhythm, as if he were engaged in a casual conversation over breakfast rather than standing with you in the midst of nowhere, surrounded by hungry, bloodthirsty creatures, his only hope of escape hanging by the fragile thread of a scared girl, unsure of how to wield the power she possessed.

Masema's presence enveloped you like a soft cloud, calming the tempest of your swirling thoughts. His steady heartbeat seemed to set a new, measured rhythm for your own racing heart. The world around you faded away, leaving only his firm, commanding yet gentle voice echoing in your mind.

"Touch the stone," Masema whispered into your ear, pressing you tightly against his chest. "Don’t think. Feel. I trust you."

You couldn’t recall giving your hand the command to move forward, but it did so the very moment Masema’s words left his lips. The stone felt unforgivingly cold, its polished surface so smooth that you could feel each and every cut and line of the ancient runes engraved in it. Closing your eyes, you pressed your palm more firmly against it, with Masema’s hot breath on your neck serving as the only reminder of the world around you, the sole connection grounding you as you reached out for the source of light within you and it answered your call, pulsing and growing within you.

You trembled, the power scorching through you, burning from within, seeping into every cell of your body, every corner of your mind, its radiance swallowing you. So many times had you tried to reach for that power, you knew dwelling inside you. You could sense it, an unending pool of light and warmth, retreating each time you consciously called upon it. And now it was suddenly there, flickering around your fingertips, permeating in your breath, wafting around you with the strength of a tempest, flowing in a ceaseless current, begging to be tamed and channelled. 

Now it was you, squeezing Masemas hand with all the strength you had, seeking refuge in his unwavering confidence, in his steady breath on your neck, in his rhythmic heartbeat, as with a loud cry you channelled your power into the stone.

Suddenly, it was quiet around you. No howling, no growls, no sounds of approaching paws causing the earth to tremble beneath your feet. Slowly, you opened your eyes. You were still standing in the same place, your palm pressed against the stone, Masema’s muscular arm around your waist, his other hand squeezing your left hand. You breathed in the fresh air, smelling of grass and rain. Rain! The realisation hit you like lightning.

“I did it!” a cry of triumph vibrated through your body. “Masema, I did it! We're back.”

In the next moment, you were turned around as light as a feather and pressed against the stone, with Masema towering over you.

“My little dragon, my powerful girl,” was all he said as his lips crushed against yours.

Comment or write to me if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tags: @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @hb8301 @zillahvathek @alexagirlie @gemini-mama @verenahx @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @willowbrookesblog @thenameswinter99 @ellabellabus07 @mcbuckyyyy @kirtseinw @siimonesvensson @sigtryggrswifey

#masema #masema x reader #masema smut #masema dagar #arnas fedaravičius #arnas fedaravicius #wheel of time fanfic

[starheirxero]

I know that, reasonably, the astral bodies fit a lot of themselves into a more "human compliant" way so that they don't accidentally hit someone with an eldritch madness beam, but I think

1) the astral bodies should have their own language,

2) they should have a "correct" way to say their names that isn't just their constellation name,

3) they should have a "bibically accurate" forms,

4) they should all use neopronouns, like that one species of aliens that used ae/aer in that rlly old novel, and

5) they should be more unsettling. bc I think all of this would be cool as fuck 👍

#xero says things #sorry i have a lot of feelings about the astral bodies HAIAHAIAHSJD #yes this is all rooted lowkey in a lumini desire but also like. wouldnt some of these uust be so fuckinf cool....... #i know they are trying to be as... polite? #as possible about their time on earth #but also . consider: they should give up their desire to pass easily for humans and look like little freaks /hj #lunar and earth show #the lunar and earth show #tlaes #laes astral body #astral bodies #xero thoughts and rambles

[euphorianyx]

DADDY ISSUES [DAWN] -10-

Pairing: JungKook & Reader Genre: Smut /Intriguing/Violent/Soapy/Fluff/ Angst |+18| Summary: I was water, he was fire Together, we turned into haze He wanted my light I wanted his pain Even if we try to deny Our hearts knew their way Money, glory, power for life Us was all we needed in the end ⟪A/N: Please do not copy or publish my work on other platforms without my permission. Every and each like & reblog are highly appreciated.⟫

⨳ DADDY ISSUES SUNSET -prequel- ⨳ ⨳ DADDY ISSUES DAWN other chapters ⨳ ⨳ DADDY ISSUES PLAYLIST ⨳

“What the heck is going on here?”

JungKook kept watching the car with furrowed eyebrows. His voice showed a bit of confusion, but his face was what got you. He was ice-cold, and you knew whatever going on would not be for good.

“JungKook”

You tried to get an explanation from him. His sort of deep yet velvety voice filled the air of the car.

“Did you see my father before you got here?”

Closing your eyes, a regretful sigh escaped from you.

“Yes ! I mean, I kind of talked back to him but… I… Uhh…”

Losing the way to your words, you began rambling. Much to your surprise, JungKook let out a crazy chuckle.

“Babydoll… You always find a way to amaze me.”

Gasping in utter shock, you could not help mocking his remark.

“I showed up with explosives, and what amazed you was me opposing your father?”

JungKook tilted his head once, like he was making a private joke. Any other human being spoke to him that way would beg to die within minutes. It was only and only you.

“My life… I will end what you started. Right now, something is going on, but I don't know what yet.”

After that remark, you were not able to form a single word. Jungkook has never called you 'my life' before. That was the softest you have heard of him so far. However, the rest of the sentence was vantablack.

The white car beside you sped up and cut through your way with a loud break. His eagle gaze never leaving the man, JungKook reached for the door whilst finishing his sentence.

“Stay in the car.”

Was what you heard before JungKook got out. For some reason, the man got out of the car as well and greeted JungKook. JungKook seemed far from patience. He arched his eyebrows while his eyes were busy tearing the man standing before him.

“Speak.”

Since he was not as tall as JungKook, the man tried his best to take the advantage by fixing his fresh clean suit.

“Mr. Park wants his daughter back. Apologies ahead, but Father Jeon does not want you to get involved any further.”

Watching their interaction closely, you knew… Knew one of the worst scenarios was about to unfold. A smirk spread across JungKook's face. The unhinged smirk you were quite familiar with… And his eyes light up.

“Call my father.”

Smiling, Jae Oh turned around and put his gun under JungKook's chin. Then he dialed the number of his father.

Upon seeing the shiny metal, the panic was evident in your eyes. You were scared of JungKook getting hurt again. However, he seemed as if he was getting ready to play an arcade game.

Father Jeon's deep voice met them through the speakers. JungKook spoke cheerfully.

“Father, I see you are getting old.”

His father's cold voice echoed.

“You are smart enough to know I have no option, son.”

JungKook's tone was almost mocking. Only if his father actually could read.

“Oh you don't father.”

Maybe he could understand how serious it ended.

“But I do.”

Then JungKook directed his words at the man sitting across father Jeon in suit and tie.

“Mr. Park, I guess the drink with my father was profitable.”

The replied with a dry voice, as he shifted on the comfy chair.

“Indeed it was.”

JungKook let out a bone chilling chuckle.

“I hope Jimin loved the chrysants through his goodbye. I did not plan them for Min Ae, but if I must; I will have fresh ones ready for you.”

Mr. Park had no idea what the situation was and thought he must step in to save his daughter. Hearing those words from JungKook was unsettling for him. Mr. Park cleared his throat while he was thinking of how to respond, JungKook cut the line. The phone loosely hung between JungKook's fingers. Right when Jae Oh's hand reached, JungKook let it fall on the ground. Jae Oh shook his head.

“Such a basic move for someone like you, Jeon.”

Then he pointed at the phone with his gun.

“Take it.”

JungKook's lips dropped into a serious pout. He crouched and grabbed a handful of dry foil from the roadside. Back on his feet, JungKook threw the foil at Jae Oh's eyes. Through his blink, JungKook already caught his wrist. Of course, Jae Oh was trained not to give up.

He raised his left leg to kick JungKook. However, the pain was not enough for JungKook to let go. It only bought a couple of seconds to Jae Oh, but it was not enough. JungKook did not go for the gun. He went straight for Jae Oh's chest. Cut out of breath, gun already fell from his hand. JungKook kicked it away, grabbed Jae Oh by his neck and continuously kicked him.

Jae Oh's left brow and lip were bleeding. His ribs were probably injured. With the last immense effort, Jae Oh lifted his head slightly, only for JungKook to grit his teeth and forcefully put his foot on his cheek. Jae Oh was unconscious after all the beating. JungKook grabbed him by his neck, dragged his body till the car. Lifted the heavy body up with both hands and threw Jae Oh in the trunk.

Watching everything, you just knew better to keep the silence. JungKook still had the warm blood on his hands.

“Whatever happens, you will be with me, right?”

JungKook tried to reassure himself. The way his voice softened in the end got through you. You knew something was coming, but you trusted JungKook.

“I will…”

Those words seemed simple yet heavier than any wow. You both knew you could not be apart. The only option left was to face everything together. He took your hand and never let go till the car reached the mansion. As JungKook pulled up by the door, Yugyeom and Johan came running toward you. You had no idea how he managed to put himself together, but Yugyeom was fresh and clean. JungKook asked with such a chilly tone that it kind of spooked you as well.

“Are they still here?”

Yugyeom gave JungKook a sharp nod.

JungKook directed his eyes at Johan, tilted his head to the side of the car.

“Luggage… I am planning a show.”

With no words, Johan made his way to the back of the car. He opened the trunk and dragged the unconscious man out. Seemed a bit surprised, Yugyeom informed JungKook.

“I will get Havoc and Ruffian ready, but…”

His eyes drifted to your side for a brief moment. JungKook kindly put his hands on each side of your arms.

“Babydoll, let's get you upstairs, so you can clean up and rest.”

You did not move.

“Havoc and Ruffian?”

JungKook closed his eyes and sighed.

“My German Shepherds. Now let's go.”

He held his hand out, and you took it kind of unwillingly.

“You have got dogs that I have never seen?!”

JungKook avoided your eyes as he rushed you inside the big mansion.

“Yes because they are wild. Only two people allowed near them.”

You did not need to ask who because you already figured the second person was Yugyeom. Curiosity outweighing your tiredness, you stopped before you stepped on the stairs.

“I want to see them.”

JungKook sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Doll, that will be a process, maybe later.”

You stood on your feet, not taking any step.

“Then tell me what you are going to do.”

JungKook had enough of your little antics. He narrowed his eyes, then you were swept off of your feet. To keep your balance, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he carried you in his arms.

“Why?”

You asked; half smiley, half serious.

“You are being stubborn. We are going to the bedroom.”

JungKook arrived to the large door of the room you have not been in for a while. You shyly opened it, as JungKook did not lose any time to step inside. He slowly put you down, caused you to look up at him with curious eyes.

"I need to change."

Was his reasonable explanation since you both were still covered in dust and dirt. He disappeared into the bathroom. You heard the water running for a few minutes. Jungkook walked out, a towel wrapped around his groins, hanging dangerously low. Smiling at you, JungKook picked a sunray colored shirt and dry seagrass colored trousers. While he was buttoning his shirt, you walked up to help. JungKook's large hand cupped your face as he looked directly into your eyes.

“Now, be a good girl… Stay here, clean up and get ready for me.”

Pretending that you did not get him, you took a step to get close again.

“You told me to have some rest.”

JungKook wrapped his arm around your waist as he pressed your bodies together. Giving you a short yet fiery kiss, he whispered in your ear.

“Obviously you don't want to, so I will help you.”

Giving you a playful smirk, he walked out of the door. Within a minute, one of the maids showed up. She greeted you respectfully.

“How would you like your bath, Mrs. Jeon? I can prepare some daisies, melissa and lavender to help you relax. Would you rather some dried sweet basil and sea salt to give you some energy?”

The simple thought of warm water was enough for you to relax, but you still wanted to see what JungKook was planning.

“Basil and sea salt, please.”

Unaware of the chaos that was about to unfold, you let your body soak in the refreshing water.

Meanwhile, JungKook casually walked out of the door to greet the small crowd in the garden by the table.

“Father”

JungKook greeted the old man in fine suit with a devilish spark in his eyes. Then he directed his eyes to Mr. Park. JungKook looked down at the hand he held out, almost mockingly. Ignoring it, JungKook took his place as the entrees were already served.

His eyes laid on Min Ae, who was sitting across him. She cheekily smiled at JungKook as if nothing happened. As if this was an ordinary, peaceful family dinner. Mr. Park, had a bite of his paçanga pastry, then drifted his eyes back to JungKook.

“You know, your father and I have go way back.”

Still wearing his poker face, JungKook answered the old man with gray hair and fine suit.

“I know… Almost to the building of the company.”

The old man smiled back while his hoarse voice filled the air again.

“If it was not for that, tonight would be a lot worse.”

An arrogant smile bloomed on JungKook's lips.

“Oh, it will be a lot worse.”

All present at the table were astonished upon hearing that statement. Even the maids that were serving the supper. They quickened their work and left with no words. Mr. Park was the one that broke the eerie silence.

“I believe no one has such an intention.”

A chilling chuckle from JungKook echoed.

“Mr. Park… The history of our generation is a little different from yours.”

Mr. Park's face hardened as his voice drifted.

“I am aware…but my son already paid the price for that.”

JungKook nodded twice then raised his hand. After his little gesture; YugYeom and the low growl of the dogs made their entrance.

“That is why tonight is just a little warning.”

Yugyeom followed the stone path and arrived to the wooden arbor. JungKook slowly made his way to the same place and removed the cover of Jae Oh. The beaten man squinted his eyes after the bright light hit his eyes.

Upon seeing two dogs with their teeth showing, Jae Oh began begging JungKook for mercy. Although, those calls were in vain. JungKook crouched to reach Havoc and Ruffian. Obediently, dogs just got closer to him. JungKook petted them both a few times. Dogs never looked away from JungKook.

“Are you hungry?”

Havoc let out a small growl, making JungKook smile.

“Of course you are… Go, here is your dinner.”

Under the horrified gaze of the small crowd, Havoc and Ruffian ripped apart the man in front of them. The agonizing screams of Jae Oh went on for a few minutes. Then they died down while the dogs were busy with his remains.

Finally regaining some energy, you stepped out of the tub. Grabbing the towel waiting, you walked out of the bathroom. Since nothing changed in his room, you made your way to the familiar dressing room. Considering JungKook's choice of color, you opted for a knee-length peach-colored dress. Fixing your hair into a ponytail, you felt you looked a bit decent at least.

Making your way to the window, you realized Min Ae was there by the table. Then your eyes shifted to the arbor. You froze as you witnessed the last minute of two dogs' cruel feast. Hand on your mouth, you just backed away from the window. You could feel your stomach started to get sick. You took a deep breath, grabbed a glass of water from the mini bar on the corner. Furthermore, you could not let that scene get to you.

Walking downstairs, you tried your best to keep calm and collected. The shock was still evident in the eyes of everyone by the table. When JungKook saw you, his first instinct was to send the dogs away with Yugyeom. Then he put the cover back on the ground. Regardless of his efforts, you could see the blood on the green leaves around the arbor. JungKook met you through halfway to the table.

“Babydoll, I told you to wait in our room.”

His whisper carried the hints of worry and annoyance. Your stare challenged him, even if you did not intend to.

"You asked me if I would be with you, whatever happens. And I said yes, Jungkook."

His fingers gently held your chin.

“I meant it Y/N…”

Then his voice softened.

“I just did not want you to see that gruesome mess.”

Your fingers slowly reached and caressed his ear before you fixed his dark hair.

“I know… I promised, so I am here for it all.”

After the reassurance, JungKook gave you an accepting nod and a soft smile. He held your hand above his as you walked toward the table. The crowd was still under the effect of not so little show of Jungkook. Mr. Jeon almost fell back on his chair. He uncomfortably loosened his tie. Mr. Park stepped away from the table as he told Min Ae to follow him. Before they could make another move, JungKook called out.

“Leaving already? I think you should stay for the dessert.”

Knowing well they had no chance, Mr. Park gestured his daughter to sit back while he did so. Mr. Park realized JungKook was far worse than he thought of. Not crossing his line was the only thing they could do. JungKook lifted your hand a little higher to place a little kiss. After that, he pulled the chair for you to sit. Silence took over again while maids served apple pies to everyone.

“Sorry for the inconvenience, Father.”

JungKook said while he cut the pie in front of him.

“Maybe you should try someone more professional.”

Father Jeon did not even try to say anything back. He just palmed his face out of stress. JungKook changed the cut pie with yours. Noticing Min Ae's eyes on him irked something in you.

“Mr. Park, I was hoping Min Ae to be our guest for a couple of days.”

#jungkook #bts #bangtan #jungkook story #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook romance #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook x mc #jungkook scenarios #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts romance #bts angst #bts x you #bts x mc #bts x y/n #bts x oc #bts x reader #jungkook x y/n #jimin #jin #taehyung #yoongi #hoseok

[utterlybrainwrecked]

welcome…

🐉 caution: this blog may contain flashing lights, moving/flashing gifs, bright colors, swearing, and unsettling themes. be careful!🍃🫖

matching pfps with @breadsnorter , @batshikns ,

This is my introduction, hello everyone!! i am a minor! DNI if you’re a primarily NSFW blog. i also request that you do not send me DMs or asks about donations, i am unable to help you, and it stresses me out.

I’m really scatterbrained, forgetful, low energy, and terrible at interacting with others, so if we’re moots or smth, I’m sorry I’m advance if it seems like I’m ignoring you!! That’s just me being a dumbass I love you and you’re always welcome here

My name is Kepler !! I am an itty bitty kitty (I HAVE RABIES AND WILL BITE) who goes by a mix of he/they/it/ae + other neos. I’m transmasc, INTP-A, and my time zone is MST. 3-25

i am a margay / direwolf / domestic dog / magpie polytherian and alternatekin / absolute solver kin / alien catkin !! be chill please.

Status: eepy

I interact with a lottt of fandoms, so here’s a list of the ones that my idiot brain can remember atm: BSD, ENA, Lackadaisy, Murder Drones, TADC, Gravity Falls, TOH, Amphibia, Warriors, Webtoons (SBG, TIOS, Paperteeth, Cherry Crush + Marionetta are my favs rn), Furries, Legend of Zelda, ACNH, Possibly In Michigan, TMC, Kirby, The Last Unicorn, The Tea Dragon Society, etc

i LOVE music: the front bottoms, icp, marina, Madilyn Mei, mitski, AJDispirito, creep-p, cavetown, maneskin, Will wood, lemon demon, mother mother, tv girl, tally hall, Penelope Scott, Bo burnham, arctic monkeys, hatsune miku, rebzyyx, fish in a birdcage, the oh hellos, IAMX, IDKHBTFM, grandson, graham kartna, Toby fox, the oozes, the mountain goats, glass animals, I don’t like mirrors, etc

I love getting asks!! Anything you want to ask, silly asks, a simple hello, sharing about your day, whatever, it brings me a lot of joy. *Shaking you* IF YOU HAVE OCS. SHOW THEM TO ME I WILL DRAW THEM AND LOVE THEM AND KISS THEM GOODNIGHT

oh! spam interacting is cool too!! basically you won’t upset me too easily, and if you do, I’ll let you know / block you :) My DMs are also always open

i am a margay / direwolf / domestic dog / magpie / and isopod polytherian as well as alternatekin / absolute solver kin / alien catkin / tea dragonkin !! be chill please.

DNI: NSFW accounts, anything that doesn’t treat all people as equal, zoo/necro/pedophiles/(no)maps, xenosatanists, anti-furs, anti-therians, AI “artists” etc. Thank you.

tags:

#kepdoesthings!! -main tag

#aceofinsanity -shower thoughts/maybe vents

#keplers art -my art!!

anon sign offs: 🎏

i also run @dogramagra-and-destruction

vent acc (obv tw) : @sorry-haha-ifellasleep

dividers by @cafekitsune

#intro post #introductory post #blinkies #kepdoesthings!! #aceofinsanity #Keplers art

[poisonheart]

Yui doesn't care (Ep. 221)

We live in a time when a lot of people think plot twists are things that come out of nowhere, weren't foreshadowed or hinted at, because it's the cheapness we've been served by a lot of media for years now.

They feel cheated when a story properly builds and foreshadows, rewarding its audience with that delicious "aha" moment when their theories are finally confirmed.

Many people think you're not supposed to see plot twists coming. That's false. Good writers will clue you in early on so when that juicy, explosive moment finally arrives, you're rewarded for piecing it all. It's beautiful and wonderful; this was exactly that kind of episode for me.

For a very (very) long time I have said that Yui doesn't love Kousuke. Many in the fandom insisted she did—that her actions were based on twisted love. I never bought it.

She is also not just a “scorned woman” out to get revenge on her trash, unfaithful husband.

Yui is more than that; she always has been.

The moment when I knew she didn't care for Kousuke was when she invited Shin Ae (who was still a minor at that time) to his apartment on his birthday. She had planned to put Shin Ae in a revealing dress, but when that didn't work out, Yui put her in one of Kousuke’s shirts.

This wasn’t some harmless prank either. It’s how she set up Shin Ae to look—hair messy and without bottoms—that really chilled the spine. Shin Ae looked like she had just gotten out of bed after a romp and got into her lover’s shirt. That was the visual she went for.

Yui did this for her own amusement. Quimchee often says, “She’s bored” and I think people dismiss this too easily.

Yui wanted to unsettle her son for the thrill of it.

Because seeing Kousuke bothered was amusing.

Because playing with a young, vulnerable girl was amusing.

And she could get away with it. She can always get away with it. She’s lived so long doing all these terrible things and has gotten away with it every time.

Regardless of any deeper, ulterior plans she has, Yui moves while trying to maximize her amusement.

She loves playing with people.

She loves using them as personal entertainment tools.

She has spent her married life trying to break Rand’s cold facade because she wanted to see him in red. This is why Rand has tried maintaining such an indifferent attitude. If he’s unable to overcome her then at least he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of seeing him respond to her many aggressions and instances of undermining his authority (especially as a parent to Kousuke.)

All her actions throughout have shown us she doesn’t care about Kousuke. Not as a mother or even as a person. He is a tool, a toy, and a powerful blackmail piece.

This thing is her most precious, priceless pawn.

Kousuke is the key to her having power back entirely into her hands and not needing Rand. She has done everything in her power to make sure he is hers. She has purposefully isolated and manipulated him so that the only person he has to turn to is her. She makes him doubt the sincerity of every relationship to prove only she is real when she is the fakest of them all.

[I am not absolving Rand of anything, but to claim that Yui hasn't had anything to do with his deteriorated relationship to Kousuke is a huge disservice to the story and the complex layers in all their dynamics.]

Consider how even Shin Ae has been presented to him as someone who comes around for money. She went to his apartment for money, she went to the formal for money. Whatever positive opinion Kousuke can form about Shin Ae, she tries to underscore that in the end, she came into his life because of money and will stay because of money.

She even makes him doubt Hansuke, the only relative and person openly caring and worrying for him. The only one who might genuinely stand by his side through everything.

This isn’t a mother’s twisted love.

This is far worse.

And so, finally, after years of seeing so many people defend Yui in this fandom—claiming she has done everything out of love—I can say you are wrong.

You have always been wrong.

The signs were there.

You've just chosen to ignore them.

This has nothing to do with Rand's affair. Having an affair does not make a person—a mother—not love her own son.

The way she has manipulated Kousuke was there before Rand even had an affair. This has always been Yui's goal with her offspring.

[And it might be the reason why Rand was never with her again or willing to "have more kids"—putting aside the whole theory of him not being Kousuke's biological father.]

This chapter shows us that Yui is not afraid of drugging or murdering to get her way. She's not afraid of exposing perhaps the truth that he isn't Rand's son (if that turns out being true) so long as she gets to keep control of her priceless pawn.

If Rand were to show Kousuke love now, if he were to stretch out that hand in spite of Yui's threats and her only recourse was killing him or revealing he's not the father, then she will do it.

She has said it with her own mouth.

She is not on Kousuke’s side. If Rand is gone, he will have no one—because she’s not on his side, actually.

This is what Yui wants.

She wants to surround him with people loyal to her, obedient to her, and serving her interests. If not, she will cut them out. She will not allow anyone to steer Kousuke away from her agenda and she has laid the threat very plainly, once more.

This is not the first time she's given Rand an ultimatum.

The difference now is their age, perhaps their power levels being a lot more matched, and the kids being essentially adults so Rand is willing to risk more.

[We could also argue that Yui wanted Shin Ae as Kousuke's assistant because Jayce has always been Rand's man, but that's a whole other post for a different time.]

Yui has never cared.

And she’s not beyond tossing Kousuke when he’s no longer useful to whatever she needs.

The people who think "I want what's best for him" is genuine have really missed all the clues laid for us before this decisive moment.

She's always taken pleasure from Kousuke's discomfort. Back at his birthday, in those flashbacks at the park when Kousuke comes back from meeting Nol and Nessa, and even through Meg's harassment.

That she would be amused by Rand, Nol, or Shin Ae's misery wasn't surprising, but what gave her away was when she was tickled by her own son's suffering.

And now nobody can argue otherwise because episode 221 exists.

#i love yoo #non games

[thetwistedrope]

we have been talking about hugs and hugging your gods over in the r/kemetic server. i was looking up AE-styled embraces this evening and came across this page, which had these gems:

the arms coming out of the void that is ptah's body are slightly unsettling.

and this

wherein tut and his ka is embracing O, but to me it looks more like O is like "no don't touch me" while tut is like "gimme a huggie wuggie" (and his ka blankly takes it all in from behind)

they also had this quote, which i thought was interesting:

since the embrace by a deity appears to have been a privilege of the king … . Such scenes of embrace on pillars may have to do with a god’s greeting the king.”10 Beinlich further notes that “through close contact with the body of the deity … the king is (in the role of a child) newly enlivened, transfigured, and receives the power of the ka.” The sacred embrace is thus part of an initiatory ceremony in which the king is made priest as well: “Before becoming a king, he must first become a priest, and for that also he must be purified with divine water, receive a garment, be crowned, and be led into the sanctuary to receive” the god’s embrace.11 “The embracing (Eg. shn) of [Page 323]the king by the god”12 is the definitive consecration of the king, “who at that moment becomes fully consecrated, crowned, and sanctified.

#kemetic #hugs #ka embrace #kemetic fandom

[woodsfae]

B5 s03e07 Exogenesis table of contents • previous episode

I try to pay attention to ships' names because they can give hints to the nature of a character or a thematic element, but today's is pretty oblique. The shuttle Dyson. Is it for Dyson physics? The interactions of quantum elements with physical matter from a quick wikipedia romp. Or is it another dyson that I don't know the reference for? Fun theorizing.

This newly minted Lieutenant seems plot-relevant!

Marcus the Ranger is hanging out on B5, it seems. I wonder if it's one of those times they talk about someone to remind the audience they exist, but they don't show up in the episode.

Yikes! The Dyson people are doing weird alien bugs melding into humans shit. Dr Franklin's probably gonna do more coke-fueled medical work.

Corwin the new Lieutenant is going to get Susan Ivanova's best subtle grilling as to his allegiances. Can't wait. But till then, some Marcus harassing a sleeping vendor by quoting the Scottish play to him.

And then a meeting with another Ranger who gives him the funniest information report imaginable. Not so much sharing information as making sly allusions to what may be. Funny and dramatic. It is interesting seeing Marcus work. He's like a local liaison, coordinator, recruiter, and information gathered all at once. I guess you have to wear a lot of different hats when you're in a small start-up with limited staff and a ever-widening scope.

I love the sheer medical garb and ppe, and also like the new mesh arm and shoulder layer Dr Franklin is modeling. Also like the 3d imager! The alien bug is now wrapped around the dead guy's spinal column and is imaged like criss-crossing threads. I enjoy this medical mystery for Dr Franklin. He could use some enrichment, and if there aren't mass causalities it might be almost relaxing for him.

Looks like Marcus's absent colleague/contact has fallen in with a new crowd. A crowd of people all infected with this new-to-Stephen parasite? What would a parasite's agenda even be? And the vendor who wasn't feeling well is missing as well.

Listen new Lieutenant. Listen to me closely. Susan Ivanova is not hitting on you right now. She is the second in command of Babylon 5. Obviously she wants to informally assess a new Lieutenant under her command!

Funny that Garibaldi was enthused about the idea of hanging with Marcus and inviting him to things, but now that Marcus himself is asking him to do something, he doesn't wanna hang. And I actually laughed at Marcus's clever wordplay. He didn't lie at all, but strongly suggested that Garibaldi cares a lot about the issue and is asking Dr Franklin to help Marcus. He must have studied at the same Aes Sedai school as Delenn!

Shenanigans are afoot at the old vendor's quarters! His shirt is all jacked up and his back is pulsing! I don't like that! Or all the parasite-distributers with guns.

Stephen and Marcus are asking the same questions I am. What are the parasites' motives? What are their aims? What are their actual effects on the humans?

Dr Franklin thinks the parasite takes control of their neural system. I wonder if they are trying to transport themselves somewhere, or survive somehow. Garibaldi's point about why they would be targeting people from Down Below is a good one.

Marcus is sassy! I like him. He's very roguish. He and Dr Franklin will be fine. I hope they enjoy their field trip together!

I hope Susan is fucking with this guy right now. Just tormenting him over the roses because he panicked and lied and said he found them lying on her doorstep.

An unsettling conversation with the person who says he "was once Duncan, but is now Vindrizi." And he says they are just trying to survive. dun dun! This still has the potential to be a mostly enriching field trip for Dr Franklin. And it's a great further introduction to Marcus. I like him tremendously.

Susan's testing the insubordinate waters is kinda sorta subtle. But she does get the necessary information. He would report another officer whom he say speaking or acting against Earthdome. They will have to work around him!

Oooooh, gossiping about Susan Ivanova! Franklin likes her. Marcus is concerned that she seems more distant now than when he first came on board.

Marcus: "I sense in her a key as yet unturned." Dr Franklin: "What does that mean?" Marcus: "I don't know, but I think it will be fascinating to find out."

dude is just saying allegorical things and then admitting he doesn't even know why he thinks that. Lol. But somehow it's charming?? What a little smartass (affectionate). Dr Franklin thinks so, too. And I love that they're failing the reverse bechdel test (I jest, I jest).

Stephen is right that Marcus is not Ivanova's type. We all her know her type is blond and telepathic with a tortured backstory.

This has been a very fun plot. Stephen has two patients in one, and Marcus just took out two guards in one plot! And got Stephen's Link and triggered a security protocol! Finally, some backup is on the way. There's just enough time for Marcus and Stephen to discover the aliens' tragic backstory and suddenly be required to negotiate for their safe passage to the recently-arrived security team. But they do have wrap up their little prison break first!

Aha! Information sharing! The person who was once Duncan says that all the humans there volunteered, and that they will all have a better life this way.

Aww, and they have a hell of a backstory! Less tragic, and more epic. Living histories. Less parasites, and more a holy order of record-keepers.

This is a wonderful little story. Very epic. Another of those cool details of worldbuilding. Also it's fucking hilarious how Stephen Franklin is like "I will only allow this if I get to medically oversee it every step of the way."

Oh, and here does come the tragedy. Duncan's…symbiote? left him so Duncan could convince Marcus and Stephen they were telling the truth, but the separation caused damage and he wouldn't be able to rejoin without permanent damage. But at least he feels inspired to go really live and see some amazing things with the rest of his life. And I think he's wise to say that we should all wake up and decide to be special.

Lol, Susan wasn't fucking with the Lieutenant Corwin about the roses. Inadvertently, that guy has played a hell of a prank on both her and Marcus! Hah!

Ivanova, throwing the roses on the bar: "Keep em!" Marcus, beaming and picking them up: "Thanks! I will!"

Really laughed hard at that one.

Alright, I'm starting to see where some of you acquired your crushes on Marcus! He's cute and charming! And very nonthreatening. I wouldn't mind being buds with him. He seems genuinely really an entertaining person to hang out with.

This was overall an interesting and fun episode. I enjoyed theorizing about it. I can't discern a connection between the name of the shuttle the symbiote record keepers arrived in and any plot. If you have thoughts on that let me know! It also isn't often you see symbiotic relationships with bug-like critters. I know now that DS9 was accused of lifting a lot of details from the original B5 pitch, but I wonder if this isn't a nod back the other way, especially since Trill symbiotes were introduced in TNG, which predated the B5 pitch if I'm not mistaken.

next episode

#woodsfae b5 #marcus cole #stephen franklin #michael garibaldi #susan ivanova #vindrizi #babylon 5

[imminentinertia]

I may have some feelings and possibly some actual thoughts about Hedwig and the Angry Inch's appearance in The Eighth Sense. Under a readmore because of spoilers - for both.

So I'm old enough to have seen HatAI in a cinema in 2002, and it's a very important film to me. It's an iconic queer film classic by now (and an iconic queer musical classic), but it's also a cult film and certainly not something I expect everyone to know about.

My first reaction to the Hedwig person scenes in T8S was something like "oh my fucking GOD they're doing HEDWIG I love Inu and Werner so fucking much, but oh, that's an odd thing to do, making Ji Hyun and Ae Ri be that dismissive to Hedwig person?".

Nothing in a show is accidental or random, certainly not full scenes such as these, and I think there are a couple of ways referring to HatAI in T8S* could go.

Keep in mind that I have no idea if it can be expected that a Korean audience knows HatAI, but then again, it's obvious that Inu Baek and Werner du Plessis intended T8S for an international audience as well as a domestic one. HatAI is still not a reference I'd expect the international target audience of a Korean romance between two students to get.

Your other half is within yourself

The central theme in HatAI is Hedwig's search for their** other half. That is all ye olde Plato's soulmate theory about Zeus splitting each human into two. However, Hedwig's conclusion is that your other half is within yourself (on a number of levels, and sometimes, as with Hedwig's fluctuating gender expression, it's a bit on the nose. It's still a wonderful film). The film ends with Hedwig/Hansel walking away, alone, naked, after a scene that is both unsettling and forgiving.

The Hedwig person in T8S gets a walking away alone scene too, although fully dressed, after an also rather unsettling but not forgiving scene where Ji Hyun and Ae Ri are dismissive and a bit rude - perhaps partly because since almost dying, Ji Hyun has run out of fucks to give about anything much, perhaps partly because the odd almost-pass the Hedwig person makes at Ji Hyun needs to be turned down for Hedwig to fit their own story.

And possibly Ji Hyun and Ae Ri, for a narrative point to be made later, must be condescending in these scenes, making fun of the Hedwig person's admittedly over the top presentation.

Either way, going down the "your other half is within yourself" path would show some finding strength in oneself (as Ji Hyun does all along, and perhaps Jae Won needs to learn?) may not hand over a happy ending in the sense that Ji Hyun and Jae Won live happily ever after.

Deny me and be doomed

This quote is often interpreted to mean that Hedwig/Hansel can't deny themselves - the person they were meant to be, up until their life really went off course. It can also be interpreted as Hedwig's right to be seen, to be acknowledged by their surroundings, to not be ignored.

So who must not be denied in T8S? Possibly Ji Hyun, who will have Jae Won and who's come out to his friends and who will not let anything get in his way anymore. Possibly the Hedwig person will resurface to teach them a lesson about this or pay Ji Hyun and Ae Ri back, like Eskild schools Isak about his homophobia in SKAM.

Possibly it's a lesson Ji Hyun is supposed to bring to Jae Won, for him to stop denying himself and tear himself loose from the trappings of the chaebol, the rigid hierarchy and the conservatism.

Going after the being seen point in HatAI might make for a bigger chance of a happy ending/Ji Hyun and Jae Won living happily ever after, as they could see each other - without being Plato's two halves of a whole.

I don't have any answers and I'm always reluctant to analyse too much until the very end, but I needed to get some thoughts about Hedwig and The Eighth Sense off my chest. Also I'm absolutely certain I've forgotten lots of points from earlier episodes that need to be tied in with this.

(On another T8S topic, the overly bright cinematography and disjointed narrative in episode 6 made sense to me after watching episode 7 - I believe Jae Won was the narrator, he definitely wasn't in the best of shapes, and he twisted and glossed over events and shoved the aftermath of the accident away, as it was represented only by him sitting alone on the beach. Also the music-less intro to episode 7 was so claustrophobic I nearly screamed.

Also do we really need to do coming out to your mate scenes that explicitly accepting. I found that a little jarring, I'd expect Joon Pyo to jump rather more around in the salad.

Also also that was an incredibly satisfying punch, Jae Won.)

*Sorry if the acronyms are annoying, but there are only so many times a person can stand to write or read Hedwig and the Angry Inch and The Eighth Sense.

**Stephen Trask, one of the creators of HatAI, refers to Hedwig as they these days, so I do as well.

#the eight sense spoilers #hedwig and the angry inch in popular culture #the eighth sense

[sacredarchive]

#aes #aesthetic #aesthetic pictures #dark #dark aesthetic #liminal #grunge #darkness #abandoned #voidcore #kenopsia #liminality #liminal spaces #explorepage #explore #fyp #fypage #sacredarchive #familiar #unsettling #scenecore #2000s aesthetic

[animatorweirdo]

When the dragons fly (book 2)

Aelon ends up in a surprising struggle after finding the turtle his friend had lost. Maedhros contemplates your offer to come visit.

[] = High Valyrian

Chapter 4

Warnings: creepy vibes, some near cursing, biting, getting nearly burned alive, wrestling, panic to keep a secret, and too many close calls.

-----------------------------------------------

Helena was calmly humming, her hands carefully maneuvering the needle through the cloth. She smiled with satisfaction as she tied the knot and finished stitching all the tears and holes in her brother’s shirt. Helena then noticed one of the village’s Watchmen, Ennard, heading toward her. She rolled her eyes, trying to start stitching the next piece of clothing while Ennard stood before her. 

Ennard loomed over her, giving off an unsettling vibe that sent a shiver down Helena's spine. Ignoring the discomfort, she continued stitching, feigning indifference as Ennard tried to engage her in conversation.

“You have been spending quite a lot of time with those Targs,” Ennard started, the little nickname Dwenn had given you coming out of his mouth distastefully.

“So?” Helena questioned, her needle still dancing through the fabric as she continued stitching the clothing in her hands.

“I recommend you try to avoid spending too much time with them. There are others who could be better company for you,” Ennard said.

Helena scoffed. “Who? Like you?” She merely glanced at him, her tone unimpressed.

“Thank you for your concern, but I am perfectly fine with two of my favorite Targs,” she said, looking up at Ennard, who frowned at her.

“Actually, I think I would even find Figwitt’s company more pleasant than yours,” she remarked, and Ennard sneered at her. “You little insolent—” he began to say until Aelon’s voice stopped him from finishing.

"Helena!" Aelon called out as he and his friends ran up to her. 

"Rodrick lost something at the river. Can you come with us to find it?" Aelon quickly asked as they stood before the two.

"You know what?" Helena set down the cloth and the needle, standing up. "You don't even have to ask. Let's go!" she said, leaving with them without hesitation. Ennard was left alone, scowling as he glared at them leaving.

The group soon arrived at the river. 

Helena looked down on Rodrick as they began searching for the missing turtle. "So what did you lose?" Helena asked. 

"Greeny. I was supposed to watch her, and she somehow escaped," Rodrick answered. "Oh! You're the reason Figwitt is in such a foul mood," Helena grinned. "Yeah, so please don't tell him and help us find Greeny. I don't want to get eaten," Rodrick pleaded with his hands together. "Well, you're lucky that I like you," Helena ruffled his hair and began looking around. "She couldn't have gone too far. Greeny might be a mean old lady, but she wouldn't abandon Figwitt," she stated. 

"Be careful. She might look like one of the rocks," Aelon warned as they watched their steps beside the river. 

Aelon wandered to the other side of the river, Samuel keenly following behind. 

"Hey, Ae!” Samuel whispered. “What if one of your dragons could find Greeny?" Samuel asked quietly as they walked away from the others. 

"I don't know. Probably, but I don't think that's worth the risk," Aelon answered. 

"What do you exactly do with them? Do you go flying on their backs? What's it like? " Samuel questioned. "Pretty amazing, actually. You can see and go everywhere," Aelon explained with a smile. 

"Can I sometimes come?" Samuel asked. 

"I don't know. I have to ask (Name) once she gets back. She left to buy duck," Aelon answered, then stopped when he saw something moving. 

"Wait, something's there," Aelon pointed toward the bushes and then bolted toward them. Samuel followed suit. 

Aelon walked through the bushes, and his eyes widened when he saw his dragon staring and sniffing curiously a lump of green rock. Upon a closer look, Aelon realized it was none other than Figwitt's pet turtle, Greeny. 

"Falconer, no!" he said with a panicked tone. 

His dragon merely glanced at him before turning its attention back on the small green creature in front of it.

"Falconer! Step back! Why are you even outside?!" Aelon exclaimed while Samuel stood behind him, watching the scene unfold. 

Falconer leaned his snout closer to Greeny. 

"Falconer! No! That's a really bad idea! She might—" The turtle snapped its jaws into Falconer's nostrils before Aelon could finish. 

Falconer began shrieking, whipping his head around and trying to shake off the turtle from his snout. However, Greeny bit down hard, causing Aelon to panic since Falconer's screams were loud enough for the others to hear.

“What the hell is that?!” Aelon heard Eweniel yell from the river. 

"Falconer!" Aelon desperately tried to calm his frantic dragon. 

Falconer trashed his head till Greeny finally released her jaws from the dragon, flopping down to the ground. Samuel picked her up but was startled to see the dragon ready to release fire upon him, or rather, on the turtle in his hands. 

"[No! Calm down!]" Aelon threw himself against his dragon, wrapping his arms around Falconer's neck, bringing him down and preventing him from burning Samuel alive. 

Samuel stood there dumbfounded as Aelon started wrestling with his dragon. 

"Samuel, go! Stop the others from coming here!" Aelon yelled while struggling to keep his dragon down. 

Samuel jolted with fright and then scurried through the bushes. 

Samuel ran out with Greeny but then stopped when he saw others standing right in front of him, looking concerned and confused. 

"Whoa! Samuel! What happened? Where is Aelon?" Helena was first to ask. 

Aelon was yelling behind the bushes. The leaves and twigs violently rustled along with something growling behind them. 

"Aelon? Is everything alright over there?" Helena called out. 

"Yeah! Everything is fine!" Aelon called back. “I just… tripped on a boar!” he quickly came up with a lie. 

“A boar? Are you hurt?” Helena yelled. 

“No! Everything is fine! Just take Greeny back to the village!” Aelon answered. 

"You sure!" Helena frowned as they all looked toward the bushes in confusion. 

"Yes! Take Greeny back! I will be there!" Aelon said, sounding a bit frustrated. 

"Okay..." Helena said, then looked toward the children. “Let’s go back then,” she said as they began leaving. Eweniel looked back with suspicion in her eyes before following others. 

Aelon looked over the bushes, seeing them leave. He then turned toward Falconer, whom he held against the ground. Falconer was crumpling and puffing through his nose. Aelon picked his dragon's head onto his lap. The snow-white dragon whined as he bled from the two small spots on his nostrils.

Aelon comforted his dragon. 

"I know, I know..." he gently stroked his dragon's head like comforting a crying child. 

"Turtles are evil," he uttered, finding another reason to dislike the turtle. 

Upon the hills of Himring, where the cold was everlasting, and the elven fortress stood proudly upon the tallest hill, always prepared for an attack from the north. 

Maedhros, in his study, was exhausted after a full day of work and dealing with affairs. His mind was restless. He was thinking of all the things that needed to be done but found himself unable to focus. His mind then came to you and Aelon. In truth, he felt compelled by your offer to come and visit. 

It felt strange; logically, he should not neglect his duties for personal reasons, especially just to see a mortal. However, the little town date you three had was a pleasant one.

The river you spoke about wasn't too far away from Himring, and he didn’t currently have any duties to fulfill, so maybe he could come and check how you two were doing. 

Making his decision, Maedhros planned his trip to visit your home. 

You returned to the village. After you brought the horse back to the stablemaster, you walked back to your house, a bag full of duck meat beneath your arm. 

You arrive at your house and see Aelon sitting on the porch steps, looking peculiarly tired and in a wild shape. His clothes had dirt on them, and his hair was messed up as if he had been wrestling with a wild beast or something.

"Aelon...? Why do you look like you've been wrestling with a bear?" you ask him curiously as you stop beside him.

"Well... I kinda was. I had a very long day," Aelon answered tiredly.

"Well, you can tell me inside. I brought the duck," you patted the bag beneath your arm, making him look at you excitedly. He then recounts everything that happened at the dinner table, making you laugh at the idea of Falconer being scared of turtles like his rider. Aelon only pouted in embarrassment.

Taglist: @natchayaphorn​ @kimnamnu@thatrandomidiot182 @springfountain

#silmarillion x reader #silmarillion #tolkien #silm fic #middle earth x reader #when the dragons fly #hotd x reader #hotd #middle earth #silmarillion imagines #various x reader #targaryen reader #silmarillion x targaryen reader #maedhros x reader

[maiemorrae]

Before Page 1 Tag Game

Wanted to try out starting one of these. It might also just be an excuse for me to talk about an event in my world.

Basically, the idea is to give some information about an event or character interaction that is relevant to your WIP but occurs before the events of the story. Ideally, something that wouldn't really be covered in detail in the main story but would be brought up by the characters or has a noticeable impact on the narrative.

Gonna soft poke @amaiguri and @moonfeatherblue if you guys want to try this or pass it on.

The event I have to talk about takes place about 7 years before the start of Lost Recollections.

The Soul-Link Incident, 935 AE

The Soul-Link Incident refers to the successful and attempted assassination attempts on the Commanding Seekers of each city in the Imperium. The attacks were done by a network of arcanists whose main goal was the disruption and overthrowing of the Bureau, Arcanis Volatris. In the end, 3 out of the attempted 12 assassinations were successful.

One of the branches to lose their Commanding Seeker was the seekers of Turis Folis in Noxton. The Volatris' plan in Noxton was carried out by a lone member of the group, a ritualist known as Ryelle. Following weeks of preparation, Ryelle was able to learn about the true identity of the commander and used that knowledge to lead him into a trap. While with him she was able to perform the ritual that had been created and perfected by the Volatris. The ability to link the life force of one person to another.

Shortly after the ritual was complete the then Commander Arcalos was returned to the seekers. He was sparse with the details as to what happened to him, blaming it on one of the rituals done by Ryelle. Some time later Ryelle was captured by the seekers and swiftly sentenced to execution for her attack on the commander and her involvement with Arcanis Volatris.

At the time of her death, she put up no fight and died with a smile on her face. This unsettled the seekers who carried out the act, led by Seeker Robin. Within the hour of Ryelle's death, Commander Arcalos fell deathly ill and it appeared as if his life force was quickly draining. It was then that the commander revealed the truth of Ryelle's plan.

The ritual she performed linked their life forces through the spectral plane. If one of them were to die and their essence destroyed as is normal protocol when someone dies, the other would soon suffer a relatively quick death as their own life force suffers the same fate as the force it's tethered to. The plan relied on the fact that if captured, the Volatris agent would be killed, either just based on their allegiance or failing that, causing enough damage and destruction that the seekers would be left with no choice.

Just before his death, the commander named Seeker Hawk as his successor who reluctantly took on the role passed on by his mentor. It did not take long for news of what happened to spread throughout the other branches of the order but by them, it was too late for some of them which suffered a similar fate to Noxton's. The event now known as the Soul-Link Incident has further increased tensions between the seekers across the nations. The relations between Silver Seekers and their fellows are tense across many branches to this day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Was this just an excuse to talk about an event in my world? I'll never tell. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to have some establishing stuff that isn't really needed to know for the story but can add a little bit if you know about it.

#luctine #Lost Recollections #writing #creative writing #Before Page 1 Tag Game #tag game

[birgittesilverbae]

be(a) still(ed)

au of warrior nun wheel of time au bc I'm v normal

//

They've never seen Beatrice this motionless. It's always the next town, the next mission, the next, the next, the next, the next careful touch or press to guide a hand or a mouth where she wants it. But in the aftermath Beatrice curls in on herself, balls everything up inside and leaves only rage exposed. Ava and Lilith can't feel her, can't tug on strings of grief or loss until they've unpicked a mess of emotion, and it's unsettling in its emptiness. Beatrice has turned everything inwards, scrabbling at the fractures inside herself. The last time she was without saidar she was without power in totality, held firm beneath her father's thumb, and she retreats back into that.

She hasn't been alone inside her own head since she bonded Lilith. It's cavernous in there now, hollowed out to fit two extra people and her thoughts echo through the spaces meant for them.

Lilith burns to throw herself into combat, to feel something, to destroy the Black Ajah even if it means dying in the process. The last daughter of Malkier has long since been living on borrowed time as it is. If she can scrape together some measure of revenge for Beatrice in her dying actions? All the better. 

Ava's better at seeing the faintest of positives in it. They're all alive. That's what matters the most. They're all alive. They haven't left her. She grips Lilith's wrists with hands tight as manacles, tugs her close, tells her it's still the same goal. The same as it's always been. Warders keeping their Aes Sedai alive. The how of it might have changed, but the outcome remains the same. Beatrice lives. All else is secondary.

//

When Beatrice's rage grows to be too much, fatigue sets in. She's done what needed doing, done what she could, and now there is nothing left to do but think.

She's alone in her head for the first time in years. It feels as though someone has cracked her skull open and scooped her brain out with a spoon, leaving her stuffed full of cotton wadding. She's alone and powerless and she has nothing left to do. She's so very tired.

They take a room at an inn in Sabinel, a few days' ride south of Cairhien. The following days pass in a haze. Lilith and Ava take it in turns to bring her meals and chivvy her through hygiene and sit stolidly through every blatant attempt to push them away. One of them is always there to brush sweat-soaked hair back from her face when she wakes gasping for breath, grasping for saidar. She calls them every name she can think of, lays about with daggers of the sharpest vitriol she can muster, strikes fitfully at them when they curl themselves around her, clutching her to their chests.

Even so, they remain.

Ava's ribs were broken, she thinks, hot and inflamed beneath her fingers, but they've long since healed. The cut across Lilith's face, however, slashing from her right temple down beneath her nose and almost to the left corner of her mouth? It splits open and crusts over again and again, no matter how dutifully Ava cares for it. She hears them sometimes, in the rare moments one of them isn't pressed up against her back. Ava cautioning Lilith to sit still, Lilith unable to hold back a hiss despite herself. Guilt blooms in Beatrice's chest, the first thing that's felt like new growth in days. A week ago she could have pressed a kiss to either wound and drawn back to leave flesh knitted back together in her wake. A week ago she had value to them. A week ago she mattered. 

#wn wot au #au of an au whatever #ava x beatrice x lilith #mywn #myfic #warrior nun

[butterflydm]

wot on prime rewatch: 1x02 shadow’s waiting

spoilers through the end of season one of the wheel of time. I will do a reblog of this soon after I post it, with additional book-related spoilers.

1. Aaah, the Whitecloak cold open. This one was fascinating, because it really brought the Whitecloaks out as dangerous to Aes Sedai way before the books really positioned them as real threats. This is very effectively scary! The music is also incredibly unsettling here.

2. The Sister that he’d killing here in Yellow Ajah and probably did not have a Warder, is my guess. And, at this point in time, they aren’t terribly close to Tar Valon/The White Tower, because they will run into Moiraine & co later. The whole thing with Valda keeping trophies from the Aes Sedai that he kills is very effectively creepy.

3. I love this intro so much. It took me a while to noticed how great the timing of the names was -- Josha’s name appearing just as the golden threads start to weave is an amazingly subtle bit of abstract storytelling, imo. And I just love all the imagery here. I’m so curious if we’ll get a slightly different sequence in S2. I’d prefer having the same opening with the threads pulling apart but them it being weaved into different tapestries that reflect this upcoming season.

4. We open with our people in flight from the wave of Trollocs, with Lan doing his Warder duty of keeping watch and scouting out their back trail to see how closely they’re being followed.

5. The crossing at Taren Ferry is our next piece of plot business and we learn a lot here -- we learn that Trollocs fear deep water; we see how determined Moiraine is; and this is the first time we really see how Aes Sedai can work around their Oaths. Moiraine doesn’t kill the ferryman, but she also doesn’t reverse her work to try to save his life. We also see a Fade here and he is very creepy. Like the look of him. That’s a lot of teeth. And Moiraine and Lan DO try to help the ferryman here, but once he’d made his choice to go back into the water, they give up on him.

6. We get some more characterization notes: Mat tries to lighten the mood when they arrive at the ferry, and afterwards, Perrin is fatalistic and Egwene wants to help, then after the ferryman is dead, we have Lan noticing how unhappy Rand looks about everything. We also get some more of Moiraine and Lan’s wordless communication here, which I always love.

7. Some time afterwards, Lan lets them know that they’ve lost the Trollocs for now, so it’s time to set up camp, rest, and finally have a chance to try to process what happened at the end of episode one. As a quick ‘this is a rewatch’ reminder: Egwene saw Nynaeve get dragged away, Perrin accidentally killed his wife, Mat had to leave safety to go into the battlefield to protect his sisters because his parents forgot about them, and Rand learned that he was an infant on a battlefield who was picked up by his father and raised by him. So everyone has a lot of trauma but it’s all different types -- Rand is dealing with an identity crisis along with nearly losing his father, Egwene has survivor’s guilt, Perrin is terrified of the potential violence inside him, and Mat has had to abandon his sisters knowing that his parents weren’t looking out for them because they would be in more danger if he stayed.

8. We see Moiraine refreshing the horses with the Power, and Lan worrying over her exhausting herself over it. Over at the campsite, Mat tries to lighten the mood by mentioning that if Nynaeve were here, she’d constantly be making Moiraine’s life a misery, so Egwene has to deliver the unhappy news that she witnessed Nynaeve being dragged off during the fight. Perrin tries to reassure Egwene (and himself) that Nynaeve (Laila) died so quickly that she barely felt it (though he knows it wasn’t true for Laila and probably suspects it wasn’t true for Nynaeve either). Rand, otoh, immediately attempts to assume a leadership position in the group by saying that they need a plan between the four of them, because Moiraine can’t be trusted not to turn on them. So, I am really REALLY interested to see if Rand ever finds out about Moiraine setting the Red Ajah after Mat, because they really do kinda hammer this theme specifically with Rand-Mat-Moiraine throughout the whole season, imo. Rand doesn’t trust Moiraine with his friends’ safety and wants some kind of backup -- we, the audience, are aware that Moiraine DID turn on Mat because she didn’t trust him not to fail when faced with the Dark One. (and it’s interesting that Rand looks to Mat during this line -- trying to get his backup here?)

9. Egwene, though, immediately steps in to defend Moiraine, which is VERY interesting because we saw that she was herself very upset at not being able to help the man at the ferry. Mat attempts to puncture this moment of potential tension between Rand and Egwene by making a mockery of the idea that any of them could possibly be the Dragon Reborn - “The most powerful channeler who ever lived”. Egwene points out that the Trollocs DID follow them, as Moiraine said that they would. Rand doesn’t have a specific counter to that, so falls back on the idea that they can’t really know what’s going on. Mat again attempts to keep the mood light by joking about the Dragon having wings. It’s very interesting here, how this already feels like a soft power struggle between Egwene and Rand to set the narrative of what’s currently happening in all of their lives. Egwene wants to Trust Authority/Moiraine and Rand wants to Question Authority/Moiraine, and the audience they’re both playing to is Mat and Perrin.

10. Moiraine interrupts the conversation between the four to tell them to stop worrying about what the stories of the Dragon say, and just get some sleep. I’m sure she wants to nip that “Question Authority” line that Rand is pushing in the bud as quickly as possible.

11. Rand insomnia count: 1. The reason that Rand sees Moiraine awaken Egwene to take her off for their private conversation is because he’s not able to get to sleep right away like the others. He sees them go off together but, unlike the books, he doesn’t appear to actually listen in on their conversation, simply moves his bedroll to the outside of the cave and sleeps there.

12. I notice that ‘in public’ Egwene defended Moiraine but, in private, she does question her, which is a very interesting contrast to Rand questioning her in front of the others. Of course, this is also a good time for some fun Aes Sedai lore-dumping. We find out about the Three Oaths and, very interestingly, in the show these are tied to ending Artur Hawkwing’s siege of the White Tower. We can also see here that Moiraine is already holding her arm and showing signs of continued injury.

13. But what Egwene gets here is exactly what Rand WANTED from Moiraine and never got in this early episode before they all parted -- she gets an explanation. Moiraine explains her reasoning, she explains why she made the choices that she made at the ferry, and she explains about how the Three Oaths impact her behavior. We know from what Egwene says that the stories about the Oaths do not have the Exact Words. So this is information that Egwene receives about Moiraine and the Aes Sedai that Rand, Mat, Perrin, and Nynaeve all do not receive. Egwene is given a unique look ‘behind the curtain’ of Moiraine’s calm surface here. The other four ta’veren do not get this glimpse behind her mask. Egwene’s experience of Moiraine is now fundamentally different from the others’ experiences. She gets walked through the entire potential sequence of events that might have happened if Moiraine had let the ferryman go back across the river.

14. And I think we can see here already that Moiraine WANTS Egwene to be the Dragon Reborn (and I think that’s why we get her taking Egwene aside like this in the show). Which makes a lot of sense! She disqualified Nynaeve for age reasons, so now she’s got three boys and one girl. If one of the boys is the Dragon Reborn, then he is going to get hit with the corruption that the Dark One placed on the male half of the One Power. And Moiraine, queen of wishful thinking (as we saw in the first episode), would very much like to avoid having a ticking time bomb as the savior of the world. So, the first test to finding out if Egwene is the Dragon Reborn is finding out if she can channel -- and Moiraine DOES establish that here. Egwene can channel, which means that it’s possible (in Moiraine’s opinion) that she might be the Dragon. Moiraine also does a good job here tying in using the One Power to something that Egwene would be familiar with - Listening to the Wind. This is a huge bonding scene between Moiraine and Egwene, trying them together with this huge thing that they have in common. Moiraine looks very hopeful at the end of this scene, imo, and I think it’s because she now feels like there’s a very solid chance that she won’t have to worry about the Dragon Reborn going mad.

15. When Egwene returns to the camp and sees Rand sleeping outside the cave, she tries to snuggle up to him and gets (relatively gently) rebuffed. And, again, I do understand both points of this scene -- I get why Egwene wants to reconnect with Rand but it also makes a lot of sense that Rand tells her that he doesn’t want that from her right now (”I came out here to be alone”).

16. When Egwene goes back into the cave, she finds that Perrin is now awake, staring at the fire (and the audience sees that he got wounded on his leg). Perrin is also having trouble sleeping. They talk about home, and Egwene says she doesn’t believe they’ll ever go back there.

17. Next is the first of our dreams. This one features Rand throwing up a bat. It makes sense for the ‘creepy rodent’ to be a bat instead of a rat, because they’re out in the woods by caves rather than in a city like Baerlon where the dreams started for them in the books. We get our first glimpse of ~the Man~ and Rand wakes to see that there really is a dead bat on the ground, and we find out that the other three also had creepy dreams about dead bats. Rand is instantly suspicious of Moiraine (as he was before) and asks her if she was involved in giving them the dreams (Lan immediately stands by Moiraine in a defensive posture).

18. So this is now the fourth time we’ve seen Rand challenge Aes Sedai/Moiraine’s authority -- it is officially a pattern. Instead of speaking directly to Rand and answering his question (like saying, for ex. ”No, I didn’t put anything in your dreams”), she instead questions all of them and asks them about their dreams. Mat mentions seeing bats with their necks snapped in mid-air. Perrin mentions the man with eyes of fire. “Dreams have power. More than you know.” Moiraine says, telling them to tell her about any future dreams. But not giving them any actual answers (again, very much in contrast to the specific detail that she went in with Egwene the night before).

19. This answer does not satisfy Rand and he challenges Moiraine again. He asks for clarity and she just straight-up brushes him off and refuses to answer. His temper snaps and he demands to have some answers from her before they go any further. He wants to know what the point of them following her -- he wants specific answers. Rand mentions that Egwene has a place at the White Tower, as a woman who can channel, but what place would the other three of them have? Moiraine essentially tells him to shut up and follow her. She rides off and pretends that she doesn’t care if they follow, but we also see later that Lan is sent off and around to watch them and see if they actually leave.

20. With Moiraine and Lan gone, we now go back to the power struggle between Rand and Egwene for the narrative about Moiraine’s intentions. And Egwene immediately starts getting ready to leave as well. Rand immediately reveals the information to the other two boys that he saw Moiraine taking Egwene off on her own the previous night. Egwene and Rand are fundamentally having two very different arguments here, from two very different bases of understanding. This is where that unequal understanding of Moiraine comes into play. Egwene has been given reasons to trust Moiraine that Rand has not been given (and Rand also looks over at Mat and Perrin again as this argument starts). Rand has stated why he doesn’t trust Moiraine (and we will get more information on this as we go further into Rand and Mat’s storyline in the future) -- essentially, it’s about what Mat says during episode six -- “I know what Aes Sedai do to men like me”. We’re going to play on this thread a LOT as the season goes on, so I’m, again, very curious about where this will go in future seasons. And Egwene’s trust of Moiraine is based on private information that was not shared with the others.

21. Then we get the two low blows of this argument (and, wow, Perrin and Mat look SO UNCOMFORTABLE in the background):

Egwene: “If I were her, I’d leave you behind.”

Rand: “You already did.”

22. Mat is instantly in peacekeeper mode as soon as Rand turns and comes back to him and Perrin -- he tells Rand not to be an ass to Egwene, but he also tells him that he’s right about Moiraine. He uses a friendly touch as a soothing mechanism. Mat’s extremely high EQ in these early episodes is just... really getting to me. He’s so good with his friends and with his sisters in the first episode! And it works! Mat affirming Rand’s feeling and giving him a personal connection makes him stop walking away, and he listens as Mat continues talking. Mat absolutely shows here that he understands how to reach Rand when he’s upset (and he shows it later with Perrin as well) and I’m just... oh, yeah, I am instantly seeing again why the show yanked me onto the Mat/Rand train. Mat is able to talk Rand down from his fit of temper and, with a touch of humor, convince him to carry on anyway. Egwene’s approach to talking Rand into continuing put Rand’s back up, and Mat’s approach smooths his ruffled feathers down and he moves into action (or gets a pufferfish to retract his spines, you might say).

23. Now we have our Whitecloak encounter. Moiraine gives her ring to Lan to hide, and she warns the kids not to mention anything dangerous, essentially. Again, we get to see here how seriously Moiraine takes the Whitecloak threat. More lovely sychronization between Lan and Moiraine as they dismount at the same time. We also see a bit of a crack between the ‘normal’ Whitecloaks and the Questioners (and the Questioners are repped by the same man who killed the Yellow Aes Sedai from the start of the episode). We learn a bit more about the situation to the south -- eight Sisters were sent to deal with Logain. The two sets of Whitecloaks split up at this point, and I think the implication may be that Valda splits off from the non-Questioner Whitecloaks whenever he goes Aes Sedai hunting.

24. Egwene rides up to talk to Moiraine privately and gets another insight into Aes Sedai and the Three Oaths that the other three don’t get. More on the importance of choosing your words so that you can misdirect without lying.

25. Ah, this shot has a great look at some ruins from the Age of Legends, love it. And it leads into the Manetheren song -- which is prompted by Mat noticing that everyone looks dispirited and trying to rouse their spirits. They did a good job showing how sensitive Mat is to his friends’ emotions. And after the song, we get Moiraine telling us the history of Manetheren. <3 Love this bit so much. So glad that Rafe & co fought for it to be in the show. I love us seeing that this bit of history has survived, if only as a song that no one still in the Two Rivers knows about the truth of it anymore, and I love Moiraine’s telling of the history. I’ve gushed about this scene a lot before, but it’s just so great. There’s some very apt reaction shots as well.

26. The next camping break, we notice briefly How Weird Mat sits. Love it. And I love how Moiraine and Lan keep getting off their horses in perfect unison. And we see that Moiraine and Lan noticed the trophies that the Whitecloak, Valda, was showing up.

27. Another break, another time when Egwene wants to talk about things right now, and Rand wants to have some time to actually process things for himself. Rand makes it clear here that he feels like what Egwene did needs to serve as a ‘clean break’ between them and that Egwene is making things harder by trying to reconnect with him before he’s ready to do anything like that. Egwene basically is making the argument that because the situation has changed so profoundly, they need to re-evaluate their break-up, essentially, but Rand never had a chance to finish processing it in the first place, because it was immediately superceded by the Trolloc attack and the news that he got from his father. Egwene is kinda demanding that Rand already process his emotions now, to make her feel better and reassure her. And we kinda do get the implication that this is a theme in their relationship from episode seven, I think, where it’s clear that Rand needs a lot more time on his own to process things that Egwene does, who prefers to process things verbally with other people.

28. I love Egwene’s traveling outfit here, btw. It’s definitely the most polished looking out of any of the Two Rivers’ kids, which is fitting since we do get the implication even from the show that she’s basically the darling of the town and that her family owns the inn that serves as the center of their community, and it’s such a lovely-looking traveling coat and belt.

29. Rand does reassure her here than he doesn’t hate her (”I could never hate you”), and his own processing essentially gets put on hold for Egwene’s sake, for the moment.

30. We see Perrin struggling with his wound and we get our first WolfSign!!! <3 His new wolf-friend licks his wound and, after that, he doesn’t seem to have anywhere near as much trouble with it. The wound is pretty nasty looking too. I like the music that starts up as his wolf-friend licks his wound. And then all the wolves head out. Their work here is done.

31. At camp for the night, Mat is Sitting Weird again. Egwene worries over Moiraine, and Lan tells them all to get some sleep, but Egwene is woken up later in the night and realizes that the Fade has found them, just as Lan is returning to warn them all. And Moiraine won’t wake. Lan makes the executive decision that We Will Go Into The Fallen City because even the Trollocs are scared of it, and we get a tense chase scene.

32. I love the set design of Shadar Logoth, very creepy. And the poor horses didn’t want to go in. Babies! Perrin is the one to notice there’s no sign of life in the city, not even birds or bugs. Moiraine has still not woken up at this point.

33. Lan gives them a brief history of Shadar Logoth -- how paranoia ate them alive during the Trolloc Wars, building a wall with no gate. An evil that isn’t of the Dark One, which is our first official introduction to that idea. Lan does give them a very clear warning not to touch or take anything, so he’s probably somewhat disappointed in Mat when he finds out about The Dagger.

34. We now get a moment of connection between two of the pairs that are about to be split up -- Rand goes off to the top of something tall to think alone (like in the first episode) and Egwene finds him (like in the first episode). In a wordless moment, Rand reaches out and they hold hands. I think it being wordless really helps Rand here, because he’s not being asked to process anything immediately? They’re just sharing a quiet moment together.

35. Inside the building, Mat goes over to comfort Perrin. He gives Perrin a knife that Laila had made, reassures Perrin that he also knew and mourns his wife, lets Perrin know that he’s loved. Again, Mat is so emotionally perceptive here. And this moment definitely made me half-ship Mat and Perrin for a hot minute. And Perrin then reaches back out to Mat to thank him for his kindness and reassure him that even if his parents aren’t looking out for Mat’s sisters, the rest of the community will -- his parents and Egwene’s parents.

36. Mat finds himself woken up in the night by the sounds of the horses being restless, and it seems like he’s being specifically drawn to the room with the dagger -- he sees some faint movements out of the corner of his eye and follows it. It does seem a lot more targeted towards Mat here, rather than Mordeth basically going for anyone that he could get in the books.

37. After Mat gets The Dagger, it is now time for some horses to die (poor babies) and for everyone to split up. Moiraine wakes up to find out they’re in Shadar Logoth and is Not Happy. And our pairs all split up: Moiraine and Lan; Perrin and Egwene; and Rand and Mat. Egwene promises Rand that she’ll find him and Mat tugs Rand along so that they can escape.

38. Poor Moiraine lost ALL her potential Dragons. And one of the things that’s interesting here is that our two potential leaders in the soft power struggle that’s been happening all episode each get split off specifically with the person who was already more sympathetic to them. Also, Mat touches Rand a lot in the this episode. And Egwene and Perrin hold hands as they jump off the wall. We also specifically have Egwene shouting for Rand and Perrin shouting for Mat, connecting back to the other half of the pair that they were already close with.

39. And our surprise ending is Nynaeve showing up not dead! <3 <3 <3 <3

#wot rewatch #wot on prime #wot #wheel of time #the wheel of time #moiraine damodred #lan mandragoran #rand al'thor #egwene al'vere #mat cauthon #perrin aybara #cauthor

[the-siren-in-your-fridge]

as a fellow gender expansive person [and being intersex meself], who has been reading the wheel of time, I have thought about this, and I have investigated it deeply.

To put it quite simply, robert jordan did not know trans or intersex people existed when he built the world of the wheel of time. The way gender works in that universe is so painfully and pervasively binary that it's actually a little unsettling when I think about it for long enough, that there was a time where some people in our world really believed humanity was like this [though I don't know if he himself thought so]. Even the soul is gendered in the wheel of time, and the "channeling limb" is a part of it.

How I would change it would sound subtle on paper but truthfully it would change a major aspect of the tone of the books, and the worldbuilding: I would simply make the nature of one's "channeling limb" an inherited sex-characteristic, along with all the other gendered powers in this universe. This would essentially bring the gendered aspects of the magic system[s] in this world in line with our modern, scientific understanding of sex and gender, and open the door for the existence of trans, intersex, and nonbinary people, without completely removing it from the setting entirely. It would mean there would be a fraction of channelers of a specific half of the power, who appear, present, and maybe even identify as a gender other than the majority of their type. Spicier still is it would also mean that, very rarely, if one follows the logic of the "channeling limb" as a sex-characteristic, that there would be individuals who can channel both halves of it, whether separately or at once. Whether or not these people would instantly burn themselves out according to the magic system's canon logic remains to be seen. But there are parts of the worldbuilding that would inevitably have developed differently and appear differently than their current canon expressions if this were actually the case in the default Wheel of Time. The present-day Aes Sedai could not possibly be an all-female organization, for example, even though they'd likely be three quarters cis women at least.

I hope dumping this wall of text in your inbox is not an irritation to you. I just stumbled across your post and found you were expressing a sentiment I really sympathized with, as a current-day reader of this series.

I love this idea! I’m only halfway through book four, so I don’t know EVERYTHING about the magic system, (like I don’t know about gendered souls or the channeling limb thing) but based on what I know so far, it’s weird that it’s gendered. I’m glad other people enjoyed my take!

I can’t say I’m mad that a guy who started a fantasy series in the 90s didn’t know about all the nuances of gender stuff because back then he would have had to seek it out, and if he didn’t know any gender spicy people, he wouldn’t have considered it (unless he read Wrinkle In Time, for example, and was intrigued by the Happy Medium or something along those lines form another project). You don’t question the norm without prompt most of the time, especially if it’s presented like a truth if nature that will never change, but it’s still disappointing. And a lot of the men vs women stuff gets on my case soooo badly because outside of it being painfully binary, it’s just annoying after a while. We get it, they hate each other. Even when I remind myself “it’s this bad because a man messed up the male half of the power, it’s a world building thing, it makes a bit of sense” I still get mad.

But this series has some of the most intricate world building I’ve ever encountered so sometimes it seems odd that he hasn’t considered, even a little, spicing up the gendered magic. The story could remain the same if he did what you suggested or even what I suggested in one of my older posts, and making different aspects of the power inheritable would definitely make things more complicated, but also more logical. All natural things have exceptions and the power seems to be, for lack of a better term, a nature thing (seeing as the amount of people with the gene for it is shrinking because of men being gentled). It would also make Rand being the dragon much more important (not just a lucky gene toss up, a near IMPOSSIBLE gene toss up, this is Definitely The Guy) and makes the power much more generally dangerous, because if it’s not a simple male/female split among cis people, novices in the white tower could go insane at random and men who are gentled could have been harmless and the Aes Sedai have shrunk the gene pool even more by accident. It certainly ups the risk factor, and this doesn’t begin to cover non-binary and intersex people, who add to the punnet square of Power Having even more.

(This is assuming I understood what you suggested. It’s like the calico/ginger cat gene? Where most of the time it’s one way but sometimes not? And that doesn’t always mean the cat is intersex? Yay cats)

So yes, gendered magic systems are way cooler if they account for the actual nuances of gender and sex

#wheel of time #wot #gender #gendered magic #magic system #Robert jordan #transgender #trans #non-binary #gender binary #headcanon