#until I wasn’t

[winters0689]

I can’t believe TBOSAS made me fall in love with Coriolanus Snow only for the movie to end with him beginning to become the irredeemable dickhead he becomes in the Hunger Games movies.

Truly an experience. I went from wanting him to be better to longing for his downfall (which he gets) the book and movie are so good!

#a ballad of songbirds and snakes #such a good book! #coriolanus snow #fuck Snow #love Coryo though #well ‘love’ is a strong word #more like I was rooting for him #until I wasn’t #such a good movie #the hunger games

[bowlofr1ce]

I deeply apologize to all like, 4 of you who follow me

For the first time in years I think I’m in a proper hyperfixation mood. Autism senses are going crazy for Pikmin, I desire that itch for pikmin, I crave content of any kind of pikmin, i. Need. More.

My tumblr is filled with Pikmin. My Instagram is full of Pikmin. My YouTube is chock full. Of Pikmin. I’m hyperfixating again. I feel… whole.

If you follow me you may as well possibly get pikmin’d too.

Do not resist. Join me.

#im so sorry #but maybe not #rambling #pikmin #im hyperfixating again #finally #I used to have a Pikmin hyperfixation before actually!!! #when Pikmin 3 came out and I played it! #I was obsessed for a long long time #until I wasn’t

[wandering-moon]

idk why i feel dizzy today

#i was literally fine all morning #until i wasn’t #ugh #personal

[gessshoku]

Somebody sedate me

#i thought i was feeling better #until I wasn’t #for real it be hydrate or diedrate #my body is just taking all the hydration possible away from me #hey.. body.. i kinda need that #and idk what to eat like is the soup good?? #not for constipation #i need bananas or smth but i dont have that #someone pls help me all i have is.. a chcolate cake #gess box of cookies

[foldingfittedsheets]

I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.

I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. I’d try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.

“Two more bites before you can leave the table.”

“I can’t,” I’d say, trying to explain the impossibility.

But because I was a child they heard, “I won’t,” and made me sit at the table. I’d sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when they’d give up. I’d hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.

They’d say, “If you don’t eat this you can’t eat a snack later,” and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that I’d just be hungry.

That state of affairs didn’t last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying they’d starve me. But the message stuck. If you can’t do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.

A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, “Are you limping?”

I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.

“Why didn’t you say anything?!” She demanded but I could only shrug at her. I’d learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didn’t matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they don’t. I simply accepted and did my best.

Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I can’t eat I’ll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.

At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that it’s not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.

Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.

“Why didn’t you turn them off if they bothered you?” they asked the first time it happened.

“I didn’t even know it was bothering me until it was gone.”

Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something I’m still relearning but I’m relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.

#ramblies #autism #as an afab kid I didn’t get diagnosed but given my poor social skills and general vibes it’s astonishing I wasn’t #I didn’t learn to implement social masking until way later #also those warts too months to get rid of cause they were too big to burn off #they had to be scraped down slowly after baths

[worldvhs]

the plan

#good omens #good omens art #good omens fanart #crowley #crowley art #crowley fanart #aziraphale #aziraphale art #aziraphale fanart #aziracrow #good omens 1941 #1941 crowley #art #fanart #digital art #sketch #good omens tv #artist #i didn’t realize until 1/2 way through #that this doesn’t make sense #crowley wasn’t nervous until he realized #the miracles were blocked #so just.. ignore that #whoops #edit: someone just reblogged #complimenting the hands #i need to speak my truth #i just traced my own hand im sorry

[ghost-bxrd]

(“the weather warmer, he is colder”)

— Army Dreamers, Kate Bush

#oh look I made another thing #pls excuse me while I cry myself to sleep now thanks #army dreamers #jason todd #jaybin #Robin 02 #robin is magic #until he wasn’t #Tim drake #batfamily #batfam #robin #angst #digital art #sketch #comic #song comic #a death in the family #illustration #drawing #art #wip #work in progress #pls ignore the wonky anatomy #I threw this together in a couple hours

[doctorsiren]

paint it over

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #miles edgeworth #gregory edgeworth #ace attorney fanart #mitski #art #digital art #my art #fanart #procreate #I think about this a lot #how like…now he’s his dad’s age… #and he has glasses like his dad #my HC: he’s always needed glasses. but von karma wouldn’t allow him to get them because then he wouldn’t be ‘perfect’ #and that perfectionist mindset stuck with him for a long while #and it wasn’t until the 7yg that he finally was able to feel okay enough with the idea of having glasses #that he actually got them #ik this art is like angsty but I actually think he would be really happy to see a little bit of his father in his own reflection #he goes from being more like Von Karma to finally becoming more like his own father #ALSO!! because he has those memory issues…😨

[swashbuckling-chicken]

my favorite thing about the glass onion before the helen brand reveal is that it makes benoit blanc look like he’s just really nosy for fun

#benoit blanc #glass onion #knives out #glass onion spoilers #which like I love that for him #was completely onboard with this just being a part of his personality until it turned out it wasn’t #mine

[davidtennan-t]

I’ll forever praise the choice of clips of Fourteen used in the trailers for the 60th because it threw out a real curveball when the specials aired - he came across as rather broody and dark in the trailers and I genuinely believed he was going to be rather ‘old man’ grumpy, closed-off and reserved

and then this happened

#I genuinely believe it was a tactic #it wasn’t until Russel said in an interview that fourteen was more human #that I started second guessing #because up until that point from the trailers I was in a ‘ah an older darker version of ten’ mode #and then BAM #softer old man ten hit me in the kneecaps #david tennant #tenth doctor #doctor who #fourteenth doctor #Doctor who 60th

[datdolphin]

I like them a normal amount.

#ART #castlevania #castlevania nocturne #nocturne #annette #Richter #richette #is that the ship name? #idk but I hope so #I was serious about being normal…until I drew this #then it wasn’t a normal amount anymore #fuck backgrounds #all the homies hate backgrounds

[neo--queen--serenity]

Fellas is it gay to kneel between your friend’s legs and beg him with tears in your eyes to pause the mission, just temporarily, so that one no one in your party dies in the effort? Is it gay to plead with him and tell him that you’re afraid to lose him, that all 3 of them matter to you, but that your fate is ultimately in his hands?? Fellas????

#catch me shipping all the dunmeshi ships idgaf THEY’RE ALL GOOD #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck tims #laios touden #chilaios #i was so certain that somebody had to have made a post about this by now and NOBODY HAS??? #like trigger follows the manga but they EMPHASIZED the angles on how close chilchuck is between laios’ legs #i wasn’t even thinking of them in a shippy light until this scene #chilchuck #laios dungeon meshi #chilchuck dungeon meshi #chilchuck x laios #laios x chilchuck #neo queen serenity’s posts

[greykolla-art]

I’ve been brushing up on my anatomy for…reasons….🖤🙏

Man that teaser! I won’t be right in the head until October!

Im also reading just an ungodly amount of smut while I wait. Send help.

#grey art #fan art #ofmd fanart #ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #stede bonnet #steady hands #I wasn’t really on board with that #until I read a truly great fanfic for it! #gonna probably post sketches from that soon. #ofmd 2 #ofmd comic

[floweroflaurelin]

He’s very friendly in the presence of children!!

Any scene with Lady—I mean, Queen—Gwendolyn de Rolo is automatically my favourite scene 🥺🐀❤️

#critical role #critical role art #critical role fanart #critrole art #gwendolyn de rolo #pate de rolo #pâté de rolo #de rolo family #cr fanart #bells hells #critical role campaign 3 #cr c3e76 #floweroflaurelin art #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #it was going so well until it wasn’t 😔 #I was so caught up in the euphoria of a child finding Laudna Fun Scary that I lived in a world where Delilah Briarwood doesn’t exist

[odetojupiter]

the fact that kevin day also witnessed a man being chopped up in the tower at evermore after neil’s audition is mad, and it’s something that is very much not addressed ever. like, maybe part of kevin was so accepting of how things were in the nest because he knew that this is the second branch, and if he were to leave, he’d become the main branch’s problem because he knows too much, and the main branch casually chops men up as a warning to literal children. and then he’s still called a coward for leaving ?? but also a coward for wanting to go back to make the inevitable less painful for him ??? and that’s not even considering what riko and tetusji did to him specifically, before even jean arrived at the nest. and his mother’s death would’ve been quite recent at that point. just insane.

#like i’m pretty sure the man being chopped up was the final straw for mary to take neil and run #and kevin saw that and wasn’t allowed to leave #so he accepted that maybe where he is is the better of two options and decided it’s okay because at least he gets to play exy #so exy became his only escape because if he was so scared that if he were to leave the nest he’d be the next one given to the butcher #it’s not until he doesn’t have exy anymore cause riko took it from him that he leaves #god i have so many thoughts but i am going to stop now #aftg #all for the game #kevin day #neil josten #so you’ll believe that neil was scared of nathan for a good reason but won’t believe kevin was scared of riko for good reason #(i said i’d stop but i did not) #and tetsuji #like even in tsc kevin is still calling tetsuji the master without hesitation

[sen-ya]

yo law wake up new recurring nightmare just dropped

#my art #one piece #trafalgar law #one piece law #trafalgardwaterlaw #one piece bepo #I deserve to be booed #angst #I have to believe that they’re all fine #there’s a much longer version of this in my brain #that involves a lot more of the things I assume would regularly haunt his dreams #so without those I know the fire’s a little out of place #anyway it wasn’t until I was in the middle of this that I realized what I had done to shachi #nsfo